#girl threw man = pure evil

[bookwyrminspiration]

just remembered the time a guest teacher came to give an example presentation to my high school English class and at the end she was talking about the existence of pure evil. and we said we didn’t believe people could be purely evil

and her response was “okay well…once a little girl picked up and threw a friend of mine, a grown man, down an entire hallway…so…if that’s not pure evil, I don’t know what is…” (paraphrased)

girl what.

[targaryenluvs]

OUR LITTLE DOVE

pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray

summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.

warnings: crazy lucy n corio conspiring like evil doers, manipulation, chasing, primal play?? is that what is called idk corio enjoys hunting your ass down, kidnapping, drugging, forced into accepting a third partner?? nc touching, abuse of power (peacekeeper), power dynamics, kinda cheating (lucy n corio), guilt-trip, jealousy, threatening, self doubt and relationship problems, murder, betrayal

word count: 3.0k

a/n: lol i complain about wanting to write fluff but all my good ideas r so dark 😭 someone needs to give me tips on how to write girls cuz i have no experience would be easier if i was gay boooo!!

he was like a shadow, stuck to your back, always.

you’d complained to lucy numerous times that you didn’t feel comfortable around him when she played at the hob, knowing he’d be there, in the crowd. “sweetie, he was my mentor. he helped me so much in the games, i wouldn’t be here without him. you love me don’t you? so you need to learn to love him too, he’s a good friend a mine. i love you and i gotta get to the stage baby.” she explained as she ran around getting herself and the covey ready.

you were always front row. wanting to be as close to lucy as possible. she looked especially majestic tonight with flowers in her hair. as you listened to her sing you’d managed to forget about the certain blonde peacekeeper near the back. but he hadn’t forgotten about you, nor lucy.

you’d left to get a drink and you’d came back to an unfamiliar tune. you usually knew every song being played off by heart but this was new.

Everyone's born as clean as a whistle

As fresh as a daisy

And not a bit crazy

Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing

she sounded as angelic as usual and the crowd around you seemed entranced.

As rough as a briar

Like walking through fire

This world, it's dark

This world, it's scary

lucy smiled at you once, just once. which threw you off since you usually got a bunch. especially during new songs and songs about you. was this not also about you?

I've taken some hits, so

No wonder I'm wary It's why

I need you

so it is about me! you thought as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sway to the music and singing. you’d hoped you wouldn’t miss a smile headed your way.

You're as pure as the driven snow

your eyes flew open as you stared at lucy, she was looking past you and to the peacekeeper. to coriolanus snow. you’d always been a rational person, you prided yourself on restraint but that restraint was hanging on by a thread. you wanted to jam a beer bottle into his neck. lucy was your girlfriend not his. and yet he smiled stupidly towards her as she sang and you could feel your heart clawing its way up. best to leave now rather than stay and hear more of the ever so driven man.

your head was spinning as you slumped to the floor, in one of your finest dresses yet worst mental states. of course, something had formed between the two. she was in the goddamn hunger games and he was her mentor. trauma bonding? he quite literally saved her life, coached her and you did what? sat at home and hoped.

hope could only get you so far.

your hope and faith in lucy gray baird was dwindling as her lyrics swirled in your head. of course she loved him. who wouldn’t? the man was undeniably eye catching. a capitol man. but you’d always imagined lucy staying away from the capitol, despising them. but maybe it wasn’t the captiol part but the man part. maybe she wanted a true life, a home, marriage and children and everything she could wish for.

what on earth could you provide her with?

“y/n?” it sure as hell wasn’t lucy calling out for you and you knew that. coriolanus’s reflection was prominent in the puddle before you as he neared. great, you sneered, would love to get to know you mr peacekeeper. please tell me how you stole my lovely girlfriend from me!

your chest felt oh so heavy as you heard his footsteps in the gravel, determined and unwavering as he made his way to your slumped body. “what do you want? you wanna gloat?” coriolanus stopped in his tracks, gloat? “why would i gloat?” you looked up at him annoyed, “rub it in my face. you practically stole my girlfriend from me.” coriolanus laughed. actually laughed and it made you want to strangle him with his stupid dog tags.

“sweetheart.” vomit. you wanted to vomit. maybe choking and dying on your vomit would be less embarrassing then this. why on earth was this fuck head calling you his sweetheart. “fuck off.”

you didn’t see him coming. and you certainly didn’t expect his demeanour to snap. but the large hand tangled in your open hair was a big slap in the face to your unreadiness. “you of all people don’t get to talk to me like that. do you know who you’re talking to?” you could hear his perfect porcelain teeth grinding at your words. god this man couldn’t handle an insult. wuss.

“what the hell is your- ow! problem!” you yelped as he dragged you into an alleyway. “you need to learn how to respect your superiors. if you’re nice to me, i can make your life easier. doesn’t it hurt? not being able to fully provide for your family? seeing them struggle? do you really think disrespecting a peacekeeper is going to help? i suggest you straighten your act and thank me for even looking your way. there are plenty of other girls here.”

but he didn’t want those other girls. he wanted you. you with the teary eyes and messy hair. you who he’d been seeing in his dreams and during the day. you with the kind smile and curious eyes. you who were so sweet and pretty but mean when need be. the y/n who was stupid enough to spit such hateful words at a peacekeeper. but he’d teach you. whether it be with words and lessons or actions and bruises. you’d learn your place, by his side and lucy’s, and underneath. but with such fearful, brown doe eyes watering up infront of him, the girl he’d heard oh so much about from lucy. how could he refrain from indulging?

his hand reached out to wipe away the few stray tears that fell as his left extended towards your right, which was clutching your head, where he’d grabbed you. “shh, let me help you.” your hand slowly retracted as your heart ran a marathon. the man was obviously unstable, going from a deceptively caring man to violent. coriolanus smiled at your actions, and it freaked you out. he caressed your scalp in an attempt to soothe, “good girl.” he cooed as your apparent saviour approached.

“sweetie?” lucy called out to you as coriolanus withdrew from your personal space. he walked over to her and she let him. he held her hand and spoke with, love? his voice was soft and comforting, his thumb again caressing the back of her hand as they talked, whispered, plotted? god knows, all you wanted was to leave.

was this your chance?

you tested the waters, slow and calculated movements as lucy nodded in agreement with him. but by the time they were done speaking you’d bolted.

but you sure as hell weren’t getting far with these two on your tail, poor y/n l/n. a little dove trying to spread her wings but they were bound to be clipped.

your feet were throbbing and begging for you to slow down. but your brain was in charge for once, your heart which yearned for your dear songbird pushed to the side as your head screamed and urged you to go. she was in league with him apparently. her seeing him corner you and not even batting an eyelash. did she truly care for you so little? did she want to rid herself of you? she could’ve broken up with you and let that be it. maybe the games had twisted her head.

even as you believed yourself to be gaining distance from the two you could hear the not-so distant steps of determined pursuit, headed your way. how would they kill you? slow and intimate? hasty and brutal?

“if you stop running now we won’t be mad little dove!” lucy shouted in warning as you felt yourself momentarily slow at her words. traitor. you thought to yourself as your body involuntary listened, she still had an affect on you. “she’s right, we love you, we won’t hurt you. unless we have to, don’t give us our reasons.”

“shut up!” you screamed. god, i know we haven’t talked in a while. last minute efforts right? maybe he’d listen to you, save you from your tormentors. you should’ve kept your head clear, focused on running. focused on your surroundings and if you had, you would’ve noticed the nearing tree roots, thick and protruding from the ground, ready to knock you down.

you crawled behind the tree, trying to catch your breath as your hands worked tirelessly to provide some form of relief to your aching ankle.

crack.

you’d been found. you fucked up.

“our little dove, ever the sprinter.”

his words had you lurching forwards in an attempt of fleeing but lucy’s cold hand on your ankle dragged protests and cries from your throat as well as you, back to them. “you should’ve listened before, we would’ve been nice. given you some time to adjust, but you can’t sit and think for a second can you?” coriolanus mocked as his hand trailed up your un-injured leg, “that’s okay, you won’t be doing much thinking from now on. we’ll be taking care of you, since you obviously can’t take care a’ yourself baby.” lucy’s voice was saccharine, like honey, and her smile was even sweeter. the familiarity and comfort of her presence was intoxicating, you felt at peace on one side and the other wanted to jump off a cliff. she lowered your guard and coriolanus slithered right in.

the prick in the side of your neck wasn’t painful, but their words were. “you’re with us now, we’ll take care of you, we promise.” and you were stuck, stuck with them for god knows how long.

you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, adjusting to the room. maybe they had killed you? in their own twisted way they’d keep you forever, in their memories and soul. coriolanus and lucy’s voices swam around your head and blended together. you were wrong. yay.

“it’s a bit early for katniss, even if it’s one of her favourites.”

“she should eat something better.”

“better? don’t go all capitol on me now corio.”

he was smiling, you could tell.

“never lucy gray. but she’ll be weak for a few days, proper meals will help her regain some strength.”

you picked your head up and looked through the window, the lake was evident.

“alright, you go grab it and i’ll stay here.”

“why? so you can get more time with her? if anyone should get extra time it’s me.”

“now who was her partner first? oh that’s right, me. you’re acting as if i’m gonna pick her up and run away. if you’re that scared than we’ll both go. take her with us.”

coriolanus’s head whipped towards the cabin and you quickly flopped back down on the bed. you shut your eyes as you heard the door creak open. “gosh, doesn’t she look pretty?” lucy asked, knowing the answer already. “so calm, i liked her better when she was crying.” lucy hit him, “coriolanus snow!” he stroked the side of your face and you had to resist from turning your head and biting his fingers off.

“little dove.” your eyes opened again, turning your head his way tiredly. “we need to get some supplies okay?” you nodded as lucy went outside to gather the baskets she’d left out earlier on to dry. coriolanus’s hand dug into your cheeks as he forced you to look at him, “i told you i’d make you respect me. now listen, if you try anything when we’re in town i will never let you forget it. you’ll know who you belong to every single day. maybe i’ll pay your family a visit? an appointment with the hanging tree for being rebels? stealing?”

you shook your head violently as you began to cry, “you don’t want that? didn’t think so. you listen to me and everything will be fine. your family will get daily help and weekly groceries. they’ll never go hungry again. all thanks to their sweet little girl. lucy’s too nice, but don’t think for a second she’ll save you from me. you’re mine and if you try anything.” he leaned in to whisper, “i’ll strangle her with my bare hands infront of you.” his words were meant to scare you, and they did. but don’t you know? coriolanus snow doesn’t need a reason to do bad things.

coriolanus was wicked and ruthless when it came to what he wanted, if you had any hope of trying to get through this then you’d need lucy’s attention and help. so you nodded. “words sweetheart.” you swallowed your pride, your dignity, and you shook hands with the devil.

“yes, i’ll do what you say.” he straightened up, his white shirt a contrast to his dark thoughts.

“y’all ready to go?” lucy questioned as coriolanus grinned, “yes, yes we are.” he lifted you up and helped you dress, you hadn’t realised the fact that you were only dressed in his own white shirt, dress to you. he handled you like you were the most delicate object. as if he wasn’t hell bent on breaking you, over and over again. till you were fit to his standards. the captiol standards. the snow standards.

his, his, his.

with how obedient you were, he figured you’d do well in the capitol. which was exactly where he was meaning to bring you.

lucy walked in front of the two of you as you made your way through the woods. coriolanus’s hand was glued to your waist as he held you close, afraid to let go. you were at flight risk of course. his grip was tight and bruising. lucy’s humming distracted you at times, if you were delusional enough you could imagine it to be the two of you. your brothers far infront and the covey following. after an amazing afternoon at the lake, heading home for dinner, maybe a performance or the night shift.

your daydreaming was interrupted when you clocked coriolanus’s missing hand from your waist, and his arm now around lucy grays throat.

don’t you remember? you’d do well in the capitol! you were his! but not entirely, no.

not with her in the way.

you were frozen in place as lucy clawed at him before reaching out for you. a plea, a cry for help and aid yet you stood stuck in fear. a minute, two. she’d put up a strong fight, especially when you ran towards the two, pushing and shoving at coriolanus to let her go. but again, you fucked up.

here lies lucy gray baird, singer, victor, psycho.

obsessed? madly in love? you couldn’t think of another word, and as much as you wished to forget her, forget how she’d practically allowed another man into your relationship and let him kidnap you. her lifeless face and hollow eyes made your heart clench. but soon enough she was rolled over, thrown in a pre-made hole and buried. she’d survived the games but no one survived coriolanus snow.

“don’t forget what i said. don’t forget what you agreed to. you said you’d do as i say, i’m telling you to get up and follow me. we’re leaving district 12.” your face was painted with confusion as coriolanus clutched your face, “i’m going back, and you’re coming with me. don’t ask questions, just do as i say.”

and you did.

when he had you say goodbye to your family, a courtesy, a privilege he’d granted you. you kept it short and sweet, no questions just hugs and false promises of return.

when he ushered you onto the train and he wanted you to sit and be silent, you did.

through his time at the university, he wanted you close to him, living with him. and you did.

through his presidency campaign he wanted for you to charm sponsors and entice newcomers. you did.

when he wanted to marry you in a grand spectacle infront of the captiol and dress you up, you did as he asked.

when he held you down on your wedding night after tearing your dress off, biting and marking you down all over, pushing you down to your knees and took you all over the house, asking you to give yourself to him as if he didn’t take you anyways, you did.

you had no idea why at this point.

for your family? who hadn’t reached out in so long, even when they promised to talk to you every day? coriolanus had them all arrested, punished and hung for inciting riots and uprisings.

for your friends whom listened to your concerns of the capitol peacekeeper who hovered and didn’t make you feel crazy? each of them ended up dead in many different ways, hung, shot, a mugging gone wrong.

you didn’t know at this point and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognise the girl who stared back. a captiol sheep, dressed up in the finest silk dresses and slick heels yet the filth underneath the finery, jewels, and makeup weighed you down. each time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you, it felt like a peace of yourself was thrown away.

and as you clutched your swelling stomach, you couldn’t help but feel pity for baby number four.

maybe you’d grow up and find love.

maybe i’ll be able to take you all away from him.

maybe we’ll heal.

you thought, but in the back of your head, a little voice wouldn’t shut up.

you’ll always be his little dove.

[reallychaoticwoo]

⛓️Here it is!! Part 2 to Ateez meeting y/n, a single mom⛓️

🎬Overview: Ateez members meeting you and your 4 year old daughter for the first time and what became of it.

‼️This is ended up being a two parter because me and my sister got carried away 😅😅

❤️Pairing: individual ot8 x reader

⚠️Warnings: Probably some cussing, some angst, anxiety, mentions of physical assult, mentions of abandonment from father. Please let me know if I missed anything!

✨️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way

🖤As always, I hope you enjoy!

Part one

San:

San was sitting at a table in a local bakery when he saw you and your small daughter walk in. Your daughter, immediately running up to the counter with awestruck eyes, was beyond ready to get her treat for behaving well today. Walking closely behind, you made it to the counter, placing your order and quickly finding a spot to sit. As you were unwrapping your daughters cupcake (which was light purple with heart-shaped sprinkles), you noticed your ex, her father, walk through the door. You immediately stiffen up, trying your best to remain calm so you don't startle your daughter. San, who was sitting on the other side of the bakery, notices your change in demeanor, and the man that just entered, mentally noting it for later. Your ex turns spotting you and your daughter. Walking your way, he stops on the other side of the table, glaring daggers at you. "Oh, so you are alive? Is there any reason you keep ignoring my calls, then y/n?" He asks harshly. You gulped, fear already washing over you as you pulled your daughter tightly into your side. "You know exactly why I'm not answering. I will not be having this talk with you in front of her." You said through gritted teeth, trying to keep a steady voice. Walking around the table to your side, he grabbed your wrist hard enough to leave bruising, trying to pull you out of your seat. "Fine, then let's go talk outside, and you can explain to me why you're keeping my daughter away from me you selfish bitch." Your daughter saw him pulling you. He looked evil in her eyes, and she knew she needed to find help and fast. Scanning the bakery, she spotted a large man drinking his coffee, and she ran to him. "Can you please help?" She begged, pulling at his shirt frantically, "my mommy needs help, my dad.. he's hurting her! Please help her!" San wasted no time following the little girl out of the bakery where he found you. Your ex had you pinned against the wall, shaking you by your shoulders, words of venom spewing at you. Just as he raised his hand, San stopped it mid swing, pulling the man back and locking his arm behind him firmly. "I don't think you want to be doing that. You should no better than to hit a woman, and in front of a child?? Fucking pathetic." San was seething at the man. San shoved your ex against the wall, his grip firm against the collar of the man's shirt, his eyes dark with anger. "Touch her again, and I'll make sure it's the last thing you ever do. Actually, while we're here, give me your phone." San said, taking the man's phone directly from his pocket. He threw the phone on the ground, shattering it. "Don't let me catch you so much as trying to contact either of them, or I will end you. Do you understand?" San asked, pushing the man further into the wall. Your ex just nodded, fear filling his eyes. San threw him to the side, and he ran off, leaving his shattered phone behind. You looked at San, shock and awe plastered across your face. "Mommy, that man saved us! He's a superhero!" Your daughter said, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Yes, I suppose he is." You smiled down at your daughter. "Thank you for that." You directed at San. "Is there any way I can repay you? Please, let me at least take you out to dinner." You offered him. "How about I take you to dinner instead? Make sure yall are at least safe for the night." He replied, smiling warmly at you and your daughter.

Mingi:

Walking out of an anime shop, Mingi feels something violently tugging at the bottom of his shirt. Looking down, he sees a little girl sobbing up at him. "I lost my mommy. Can you please help me find her?" She asks him between sobs. Panic sets in immediately. He's not prepared for this kind of situation, and he's never had to help a child find their lost parent. "Uh, yeah. Where's the last place you saw your mommy?" He said, looking down at the girl wearily. "I - I don't member. I was on the exlavater, and she wasn't there." The small child said sobbing harder, looking up to the tall man. She wiped her tears on her arm before reaching both hands up and asking to be picked up. Mingi picked the child up, holding her about 6 inches away from his chest. He did not know what he was doing, and it showed. The girl slowly reached her hands out, pulling herself closer so she could be held comfortably. Mingi scanned the mall, trying to find someone who looked like they may be missing their child. Not finding anyone, he sighed to himself. "Okay, okay, um, why don't we go to the toy store? Maybe your mommy could be looking for you there." He said, extremely uncertain of his own idea. "Shit, okay, um, I'm sorry, kiddo, I'm not really sure how to help you.." He said, looking around the toy store, fighting back tears of his own. Mingi was absolutely in over his head. He wasn't around kids often, and he didn't know how to stop them from crying. "Ooo, you said a bad word. You gotta put 5 dollars in in the swear jar!" The little girl giggled at him, her tears starting to still. "Oh fuck I'm so sorry!" He said quickly. "Shit I did it again. Crap I'm just gonna stop talking!" He said, smacking himself in the face. The little girl was giggling loudly now, "That's three 5 dollars now, Mr!!." Her giggles calmed his nerves some, his shoulders relaxing a little. "It's Mingi to you, little missy. And okay, fine, instead of the swear jar, why don't we find you a toy while we wait for your mom to find you." He offered. "Otays Minki!!" She replied, sounding a lot happier than when she originally found him. As they were leaving the store, your daughter in his arms, and about 5 stuffies in hers, you spotted them. "Baby!! There you are!! Fuck, Mommy was so worried!!" You said, a huge sigh of relief escaping your lips. "Ooooo, mommy, that's 5 dollars!" Your daughter said, giggling, looking at Mingi knowingly. "You heard the little lady, 5 dollars mom." Mingi said, joining in on the laughter. "Thank you for keeping her safe and for all the toys?" You shot him a questioning look. "Uh yeah, that may have been my swear jar money, sorry about that." He said, feeling only a little guilty. You laughed slightly, "Okay, well, we need to finish shopping, honey. Let's go." You said to your daughter. Her grip on Mingi tightening. "Nooo I wanna stay with MinKi!!" She protested. Mingi looked at you, shrugging his shoulders big grin on his face. "Well I've got time. Where to?" He asked. Your daughter shot you a cheeky smile.

Wooyoung:

It wasn't very often that the fair was in town, and your daughter just HAD to go this year. She had been begging you to take her ever since you drove past it one day on the way home. Today was the day you caved. Walking hand and hand into the fair grounds, her eyes sparkled with wonder and excitement. After taking her on some of the more kid friendly rides, you were walking past the game booths on the way to go grab her a snack. She stopped you, tugging on your hand, "Momma! Momma! I want that stuffie! It's HUUGGEEE! Momma, pleaseeee." She was begging, her lip pouting, and her eyes full of hope. "Baby girl, mommy would have to spend the rest of her money to be able to win that for you, and we still need to go get a snack." You said, walking away from the game holding her hand. She looked back at the stuffie longingly as she followed you to a nearby concession stand. Wooyoung had overheard the whole exchange as he was at the booth already, and he decided he was going to win the stuffie for the precious little girl, and maybe even a matching one for her pretty mom. As you and your daughter sat down at a small table beginning to eat, Wooyoung approached you, stuffies in hand. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear this cutie wanted a stuffie." He said with a big smile and kind eyes. "My brother is only a little older than you, and I always get him a stuffie when he comes with me. He wasn't able to come today, so I thought, since you wanted the big one so badly, that I'd get it for you." He handed your daughter the gigantic stuffie. "ITS SO FLUFFFYYYYYYYY!!" She screamed, hugging onto the large unicorn like her little life depended on it. "I also got one for your pretty mommy." He said before handing you a large stuffed black cat you had been eyeballing earlier. You blushed at the compliment and thanked him. "Would you like to sit with us for a bit? I'm sure this little one would just love to hear all about how you won the biggest stuffed toy at that booth." You said with a smirk. "Oh, I'm sure she would." He replied with a smirk of his own, sitting down across from you.

Jongho:

You tried your best to be prepared as possible. Packing snacks, activities, and even books in your carry-on. But a couple hours into your flight back home, your daughter was absolutely not having it. You were stressed, to say the least. Tired as you hadn't slept the night before making sure everything was packed and ready after your daughter finally went to sleep. She'd been having a hard time sleeping lately, and you knew it was because her dad decided to just up and leave 6 months ago. Noticing your struggles, a man in the row behind you tapped your shoulder. "I hope I'm not bothering you, but I can tell you're exhausted, and I was wondering if I could be of any help? I'd be glad to hold her for a little while so you can get some rest." He offered, his smile was gentle and sincere. "Oh no, I couldn't possibly ask you to do that. We'll be okay. Thank you.. uh, I'm sorry, what's your name?" You replied, waiting for him to answer. "Jongho," He said with a smile. "And it's really no problem at all. I'm pretty good with kids. They think I'm a teddy bear." He added with a small chuckle. "Well, if you're sure you don't mind. I'd really appreciate it." You said with a smile and a sigh, handing him your daughter who happily went to him. Not even 15 minutes later, your eyes were closed, and your breathing evened out, sleep had fully embraced you. Jongho sat with your daughter, keeping her entertained until she started rubbing her eyes. "Are you tired?" He asked her. "Yes.. but I don't like sleeping, " she replied with a sad look on her face. "Why don't you like sleeping?" He asked, looking at her questioningly. "Cause.. sometimes when I sleep I dream that daddy is leaving again.. he used to sing me to sleep but he doesn't anymore." She told him. The look on her face almost brought tears to his eyes. "Would you like me to sing you to sleep? It's important to sleep when your body is tired." He looked at her while she considered his offer. A second later, she was climbing into his lap and snuggling into his chest. He sang softly to her, rubbing the top of her back lightly. She was out in a matter of minutes, snoring into his chest, drool pooling on his shirt. He just smiled to himself, glad he could help you both get some rest. About 30 minutes away from landing, you woke up turning around to check on your daughter. Jongho put a finger to his mouth, smiling at you, silently telling you not to wake her. You mouthed a thank you, and he nodded. Once you had landed and your daughter was awake, he handed her back to you. "Thank you again. You don't know how grateful I am. I'm amazed you got her to sleep she's had a lot of late nights recently." You said while reaching for your carry-on. He helped you get it down, saying, "It was really no problem. She told me her dad used to sing her to sleep, and it's been a bit hard for her." You frowned, looking down at her then back to him. "Yeah, I figured that was what's been bothering her, but she wouldn't tell me anything besides having bad dreams. I thought it was just the nightmare phase. I should've known. Well, anyways, thank you again." Turning to walk off the plane, he tapped your shoulder once again, "If it would be okay with you, I can give you my number. That way, if she has trouble sleeping again, I can sing her to sleep like I did today. She deserves a good night's rest." He smiled down at the girl. She beamed at his offer, "Please, mommy! He has a pretty voice, and I didn't have any nightmares when I fell asleep this time!" You giggled at her enthusiasm. "That'd be wonderful, thank you so much, you are too kind." You said, handing him your phone with a grateful smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🖤 A - tiny tag list (see what I did there 😉)

@evis-gossip @yeosangcutie0615

[herejusttosufferalong]

Ok so this might be a long rant, I just came across this account, after a lovely woman i follow on TT. She said in her live that a blog she likes one tumblr account, so I had a wee nosy. Well after watching Tifs live (our captain) the other night, my gut feeling about this whole situation with L, N and A:

I only started to ship L&N late April this year. I just was excited to see polin for their season after reading the book. Then I seen N and L interviews and saw their chemistry & connection I was hooked. I don’t ship people irl but I did always like Tom and Zendaya, I thought they would be cute together but nothing hardcore. Then L& N came into my life and now I can’t function properly without thinking about these two. I like the whole world has seen this two people that have captured our hearts, with their crazy chemistry. Which made a lot fans go crazy thinking they were a real couple and still want them to be.

As I said I newly lukola fan but after watching Tifs live and reading the info she had, also looking at other content and speaking to other fans. I believe my gut feeling is right, ( just my opinion) don’t come from me lol. 1: I believe L fell for N that first day they met at the dance rehearsal. I mean for someone who doesn’t have good memory, he remember everything that day. Like you said I believe he pushed those feelings down as he was in newly relationship. Also N was in a relationship, it wasn’t their time. They were great friends, laughed, joked and even flirted irl or SM but never crossed that boundary.

2: I believe the chemistry we were seeing in season 1 and 2 was them giving each other subtle hits, that they will have to finally give into repressed feelings once they become leads. L was still in a longtime relationship with his gf but N wasn’t in hers anymore, so she was having single girl era. Then bang they are told they are the leads the next season. Both gear up for it by L getting fit, healthy and trim down. N also got fit, healthy and went to the gym. They both threw everything into making this the best season(which I believe they did). Then started to film season3 when they can’t hide their feelings anymore. The gf caught on to this and that when things started to turn sour for L and gf, she got jealous and insecure about his feelings. She started getting hate from fans. Once she started doing shady things like copy N style and comment (WFT on camera) when the episode 2 season 2, when Colin’s comes back from his trip and sees Pen for the first time. Then J and L unliked N posts and didn’t interact with her as much. Also around that time N came out to defend J and stop the hate. (If I couldn’t love this woman anymore than I do. She is a incredible, kind and loyal friend to have in your life). Around this time L was on down low liking posts N friends posted about her, knowing that J wasn’t following them on SM to see. 3: As I said when season3 began all those feelings they both had came out and they couldn’t hide it anymore. You can see it by the reactions of the cast and crew saw, they slowly were letting us know that it was real what we saw and felt. I mean the fact that he wasn’t able to see her in certain dresses until the last minute to get his real reaction or that the director took all the dancers off the set, to only have N&S dance in front of L to get that pure jealousy and anger from him. (BTW that nearly broke that man) haha which I love, I know am evil 😏. Or the fact that N had a fake hen party with cast and crew. Do not get me started on the ‘sound proof’ carriage or the broken furniture. Around those scenes were being filmed the shit was hitting the fan with L&J, they believed to be broken up around the time of the mirror scene. We all know how relaxed they were with each other in those days, as N said “we were so relaxed, we spent the day under the covers naked not wanting to get up”. I mean come you two 🙈 So L was coming home after doing those intimate scenes and couldn’t detached from it. So it is believed around this time J cheated on L with a co star, of course this is all rumoured but Ls mum, aunt and grandma liked a lot of lukolas posts. That scene when he finds out about pen being LW, he was really crying and even catch’s on his words, it also makes N say his name because she can’t see him hurting. So that’s why she help him to heal after the break up, she wanted him not in pain anymore. That’s when everything changed.

4: N and L friendship grows stronger and stronger around part two they both were single and they give into their feelings. So when you watch the ally scene when he finds her out on the night before their wedding and they argue he push’s her up against the door. L uses his left hand to lift up her skirt, Colin is right handed but L is left handed. Also if you listen to that scene without the music, you can hear him saying N name. The last scene they filmed together was their last intimate scene and she slips the tongue in while he sucks on it. He also came to her last day of filming to support her AKA the pic of him seating on the floor while she hugging him 🫠So I believe that they both hooked up around this time and even went on secret dates. He was all in and was ready to go into the relationship with her. This is when it hits her, he needs to be single, she was going to be busy, he starting his new play… they had to put the breaks on it for awhile. That’s why she always says “what is meant for you, won’t pass you by”, something my mum says to me every day. N knows she be called to other women, that she is older, that her image would be damaged if they came out as a couple around that time. Because he loves her so much he couldn’t do that to her, so he agrees even though it is killing him. That’s when A appears. 5: He goes on to have his HBS with the lads and the rat 🐀 (Rory) I said what I said. He has fun and then meets A, she fun and exciting, just someone to have fun with, who also fits in his friends group. They date have fun, go on double dates, parties and events. They never put a label on it but she his gf in not so many words. Then they begin their six month press tour and all that pent up feelings come back out again. They were unhinged, flirty and their chemistry was through the roof. They couldn’t stop it if they tried. They have understanding like last year they couldn’t go public if they wanted to because of the image wouldn’t be right. That’s when A jealous streak came out, by slowly letting the fans know she was about and don’t get any ideas. She post videos of her of dancing in hotels were L was staying. That’s when she started to troll the fans and N too. I think the final nail that hit the coffin was the Ireland trip. We got the famous fixing the hair in middle of an interview(let’s be real L went to another world, he lean in and closed his eyes never wanting to open them up again). We also got him meeting her mum and went out with her family. A could see he was pulling back from her that’s why she invited herself to the NY premier were we got the awkward hug from A&N. So that’s why she called the paps and messed up the situation with L&N. I like a lot of people felt that pap walk was a slap to all our faces. I believe like you said she went rogue. All she had to do was wait a week and it wouldn’t have been as bad. The fandom would have been mad but would got over it. However she stole that limelight and you could see he annoyed by the pics. So HBS 2 happens, N starts working on her her new film. L has events, parties and holidays with A and the friend group. However he found ways to mention N in every interview or posts and she tells him in some ways that he is always with her by the pics she posts too. Like he said on JF they are on a break. Now they waiting for things to calm down and distance himself from A. But she doesn’t like and has now joined together with rat boy and his gf. They are trolling fans, N, leaking pics and videos of L when he just wants to be private. I also believe he has totally checked out with this relationship. You can see it in her eyes and body language, it doesn’t lie, he’s not happy. I also think his losing work opportunities with this bad pr at the minute. Unlike N who is booked and busy.

So to conclude this rant sorry btw I just had to get this all out of my head 🙈 it was doing my head in. I believe once season 4 begins and L&N have to be a married couple. They go back to their funny, flirty and unhinged. I then believe A bags will be packed because he will do all he can to protect N and her image. He also try to get new jobs as well. Were A might be on the next season of love island. I really hope not because I seen enough of that drama queen and I like to enjoy the show. I think next year we might get the confirmation of them both being an official couple. That’s when I be cracking up the Prosecco and champagne 🍾 😊🚢

No matter how many times I read things like this I always act surprised at every turn lmao

Love this anon, thx for sharing

[hisonlyreid-er]

The Pain In The Rain

Summary: After a difficult case, both you and Spencer return home. The reality of the case sets in and its Spencer's job to comfort you.

Warnings: Mentions of death and gore, referenced to sexual assault, anxiety, panic attacks, trauma but Reid fluff at the end

Spencer Reid x BAU!reader

Every aspect of this case had gotten to you. A man was going round kidnapping and sexually assaulting girls on their 21st birthdays. The pure evil of this man threw you back to the tragedy of your childhood with the horror of your stepfather.

The second you stepped of the jet, Spencer watched your shoulders slump in defeat and your brain flew 100 mph. He knew this had gotten to you from the moment the team arrived at the scene, you were so angry and determined to find this guy. It didn't take a profiler to see the guilt you carried for not saving the final girl and the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes at the debrief on the jet.

The long jet ride was followed by a short car ride as Spencer drove you both back to your shared apartment. Neither of you said a word, you couldn't bring yourself to speak in fear that your voice would tremble with the emotions you were keeping in and Spencer just couldn't find the words to say to you. Spencer got the bags from the car as you climbed up to the apartment and once through the door, kicked your shoes off with such force that they hit the wall with a dull thud. Every emotion was working its way to the forefront of your mind as you replayed the whole events of the case. The images of the way those girls has been defiled flung you back to the feeling of his hands on you, the dirty feeling he left on your skin. Your breathing picked up as your eyes flew around the room seeing something that wasn't there. The panic rose in your chest as the tears you held pushed from your eyes and slid down your cheeks. You felt like you couldn't breath, you began tugging at the collar of your shirt in an attempt to provide your lungs with more oxygen. For you, the apartment has been replaced by the scene of your stolen innocence. It felt like you were trapped in your mind, replaying the events over and over with no relief. It felt like drowning in the pent up emotions that formed an ocean in your mind and no one was coming to save you. But there was someone.

Spencer walked through the door and immediately knew something was wrong. He already knew but the sight of you shoes discarded was so abnormal that he dropped the bags and half sprinted to find you. When he found you, you were stood in the living room, eyes flicking everywhere, never focusing and he knew you weren't seeing what he was. Your chest rose and fell so quick that he felt that there was not enough oxygen in the room to satisfy your panicked body. Spencer rushed to your body, bending down to meet your eyes but found they weren't really looking at him. As he spoke, Spencer shook you slightly, trying to break you from the panic the embraced your mind but to no success.

All of a sudden you became aware of someone touching you and a male voice speaking to you. Logic and reason had left the moment you stepped through that door. So, in your panicked state, you did the only thing your brain and body could manage. You ran.

Out of Spencer's loving touch, out of the apartment, out of the building, down onto the street. The rain above poured over you, drenching you in seconds but you hardly noticed. Your legs carried you for 3 blocks before the disorientation kicked in and forced you to stop. Breath still heavy, you stood in the rain and tried to harness your brain. The feeling of rain pattering on your ocean calmed you slightly but the panic remained. A voice carried through the melancholy rain. His voice. Not the one that scares you and forces you to hide like a child, it was the voice that coaxes you from that dark place and sounds like early mornings in the summer.

Spencer had sprinted after you, not caring about the stares he got from strangers at his lack of appropriate attire for the current weather. He chased after you for 3 blocks until he found you stood in the rain, just stood. It shattered his heart to see you so broken but he knew you needed him. Calling your name, he walked closer. Your panic began to subside as he neared, his presence calming you. Once in arms reach, he gathered you into his arms and held on like he would never let go. You broken in his hold. Your knees give out and the only thing keeping you from the ground is his arms. The tears returned but this time they weren't panicked ones, they were tears of sadness and relief. Sad that everything happened and relieved that you're safe with Spencer.

The two of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, getting soaked through by the rain and embracing one another. His hand stroked your hair as you held his shirt in fists. The comfort encircled you as the tears stopped and all the negative emotions were washed away with the rain and his touch.

For once in your life you came to the realisation that even if you were drowning in this ocean, Spencer is your lifeguard and would jump in to save you from the waves trying to pull you under. He was your lighthouse in the storm of you mind as the waters threatened to drown you. Spencer Reid was keeping you afloat. And he always would.

[she-wolf09231982]

Bill Hoosier Smith

“There, I said it!”

Summary: It’s a chore getting anything out of Hoosier that isn’t sarcasm or jokes. But when it comes to his favorite medic, he’ll say it.

A/N: One shot, Mature audience, BillHoosierSmithx!FemMedic, WW2, Female Pronouns, Cursing/Swearing, Derogatory Slurs, Womanizing Comments, Military and Medical Terminology, Inappropriate Nicknames, HBO The Pacific References, Mentions/Descriptions of Injuries, Weaponry, Smoking. Angst/Conflict, FOREVER FLUFF

*Able Grable = Girl with low morals

*The Ichiki = Japanese Soldiers

*These stories may not fall entirely in accordance with the TV series timeline. I do not know the real Marines the actors portray in this series, so please understand I show no disrespect. Some or most of historical events and character interactions in my fanfics are fabricated purely for the sake of the enjoyment of fiction*

~~~~~~~

August 1942

Ever since you’ve been assigned to H Company, you were accepted by most of the guys. You had an addictive personality and had a whimsical way with your presence. You dished out whatever the guys threw at you, and they loved that you were a bit rough around the edges.

You weren’t afraid to get dirty and break a sweat. You’ve earned your place amongst them when you showed them your worth when bullets started flying. The moment “Medic!” was called, you were running like a bat out of hell to get to them.

In the beginning, you didn’t always get along with Hoosier. The man had it out for you in the worst way the day you arrived to board the carrier to the Pacific. For weeks the guys made such a fuss about you and it annoyed the hell out of him…especially Chuckler. He went on and on about you and Hoosier was over it.

“Goddamn, Lew, if you want her so bad, then go fucking get her or shut the fuck up.” Hoosier barked at him one day.

“Damn, Bill, what’s got you snapping your cap?” Runner asked.

Hoosier glared at him then went back to cleaning his rifle.

“He’s just jealous that I saw her first.” Chuckler teased.

Bill slammed his weapon down, “You know what it is, Lew? It’s that women don’t have a place on the front lines because they’re nothin’ but a distraction.” He snapped.

“Come on, Hoosier, we don’t get to see nothin’ pretty around here. It’s something to look at that isn’t a Jap or Leckie’s face.” Gibson explained.

The guys laughed including Bill.

“Now that I can go along with.” Hoosier agreed.

Just then, you approached the group.

“Hey guys-“ you began.

The guys always lit up when you came around.

“Hey, Y/L/N!” Runner, Leckie and Sid greeted.

“Hiya, doll!” Lew added.

You smile at each of them, but noticed once again Hoosier avoiding eye contact with you. You knew he didn’t like you. You usually made it your daily routine to bust his chops by starting small talk with him to make it awkward for him. The guys found it entertaining when you give him a hard time. Bill, however, couldn’t stand it.

“Hey, Hoosier.” you say sweetly.

He side eyed you with a scoff while he function checked his rifle.

The guys watched intensely with mischievous smiles painted across their faces.

“You’re looking extra rugged this morning.” You dared to continue.

The guys snickered. Hoosier looked around at each of them with vigor, then looked at you.

“You think you’re fucking funny, Y/L/N?”

Your friendly smile softened into a cocky grin.

“They seem to think so.” You returned, gesturing to the rest of the group.

“Yeah, well, they’re only siding with you because you’re a broad. If you weren’t a medic, you’d be useless.” Hoosier jeered.

You furrow your eyebrows at him as you cross your arms, “Oh, is that what you think?”

His mouth curled into an evil smirk, “It’s what I know, lady.”

You feel your anger boiling over.

“Well, your opinion is noted, Smith. Not that your opinion matters.” You retaliate.

He narrowed his eyes at you, then redirected his attention to polishing the barrel of the rifle.

You look at the others, “If you guys need anything, I’ll be at the aid station.”

You turn around and walk off. They waited until you were out of ear shot.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Bill?” Sid asked hitting his shoulder.

“What?” Hoosier replied.

“You know, she’s gonna be the one helping you out there if you get hit.” Leckie pointed out.

Hoosier remained silent. He didn’t give a damn. He just wanted to kill some Japs, and go home.

~~~~~~~

You avoided Hoosier like the plague. You haven’t poked fun at him for a few weeks and whenever your paths crossed while he was waiting in line for chow or he needed medical attention, you looked right through him like he didn’t exist.

“Shit, Bill, if looks could kill-“ Runner had said.

“Yeah, she hasn’t said a word to me in a few weeks. ‘Bout damn time.” Hoosier commended.

Runner rolled his eyes.

“You got so much piss and vinegar in your veins towards her, Hoosier, I don’t get it.”

“We’re all here to do a job. There ain’t no female that’s gonna stop me from doing it,” Bill affirmed, “maybe if ya’ll focused more on the war it would be over already.”

“Yeah, yeah, ok.” Runner humored Bill by agreeing.

~~~~~~~

Lt Corrigan addressed H company one morning about the next mission.

“We’re settin’ up a little less than a mile that way along the perimeter,” he explained pointing in the direction along the road outside their camp, “The Japs decided to go around us to hit the airfield. Leckie, figure out the five Marines for the first watch for two hours at sunset and make sure a medic goes with each shift. So six total, got it?” He finalized then trudged off towards headquarters.

“Aye, sir.” Leckie acknowledged.

Bob looked around at the guys, “Any volunteers?”

No one answered.

“Come on, guys, don’t make me pick.” Leckie pushed.

“Fucking fine, I’ll go.” Hoosier muttered.

“We’ll go.” Sid and Gibson voiced.

“Ok since you’re being good sports, I’ll take the first watch with you guys.” Leckie supported.

“Fuck it, I’m in.” Runner added.

“Good man. Ok, we head out at 1730. It’ll give us enough sunlight to get to the posts before it gets dark. Get your gear together and meet me on the edge of camp at 1725.” Leckie ordered.

Hoosier walked to where he had his weapons and gear before Leckie pulled him aside.

“And won’t you be happy about this.” He said a little too excitedly.

Hoosier looked at him skeptically.

“What?”

“Your favorite little medic is coming with!” Leckie replied with a wide smile.

Bill shook his head, “Fuck you, Bob.” He spat before stomping off.

Leckie chuckled as he gathered his rations for the shift.

~~~~~~~

It was bad enough that Leckie had requested that you be on the first watch that Hoosier was part of, but he also arranged that you and he also shared a fox hole together. You were absolutely fuming sitting there next to him.

The trench was 6 feet long and 3 foot wide, leaving very little personal space between the two of you. Although he could see perfectly over the edge of the foxhole when he stands, you had to place an ammo case in the hole as a stepping stool because the depth of it was a little too deep, and it was an obstacle for you to climb in or out or see the line when you stand.

You almost opted to sit on the wooden case instead of on the ground of the foxhole, but you didn’t want splinters on your butt, so you had to sit relatively close to Hoosier.

Leckie’s face appeared over the edge.

“Cozy?” He mocked.

You both scowl at him.

“Do you need something, Leckie?” You asked exasperated.

“Nah, just checking on everyone.”

“Yeah, just having’ a grand ol’ time with Able Grable over here.” Hoosier uttered.

You look at him with daggers behind your eyes.

“Excuse me!?” You shrill.

Leckie laughed, “Best idea I had all day posting you two together! Have fun, kids.” He said as he disappeared.

Hoosier only shook his head, laughing to himself about his snappy insult towards you.

“You think I’m some bimbo out here lookin’ to get laid do ya?” You propose.

Hoosier didn’t bother looking over at you.

“If the shoe fits.” He simply replied with a leering expression.

“Ooo you pompous pig!” You growl through clenched teeth.

“I’ve been called worse.” He dismissed.

“I fucking believe it!” You shot back turning your back to him.

You’ve never been so disrespected in your life. You always tried to be a good person because of how you were raised. And because he had such an arrogant opinion on where women belonged in this war, he treated you like dirt regardless of how good you were to him or his buddies.

You keep your back to him because your rousing anger caused tears to build in your eyes and you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that anything he said affected you. But Hoosier wasn’t an idiot. He knew you were crying. He felt a tinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach, but his pride always got the better of him, so he sat there quietly and tried his best to ignore your silent sobs.

~~~~~~~

The relief crew showed up, and before they could say anything, you hopped out of the foxhole to get away from Hoosier.

Hoosier, Leckie, Sid, Gibson, and Runner walked together as you walked ahead of them alone in the dark.

“Jeez, Bill, what did you do?” Sid accused.

“What the fuck, why does it have to be something I did?” He defended.

“She was fine before the watch.” Runner identified.

“If you’re gonna blame anyone, blame Leckie for posting us together.” Hoosier suggested pointing at Bob.

“Hey, Corrigan said five Marines and a medic. I had to have two people in each trench. It’s just how it worked out.” Leckie clarified shrugging his shoulders.

You heard them bantering behind you, trying to shut them out. You suddenly heard a distant whistling noise, quickly recognizing it was incoming artillery. You turn to the guys in a panic.

“INCOMING!!” You shout back to them.

The shell landed behind them, sending many palm trees to the ground around them. They all dove to the ground to take cover.

“Get those mortars up! Runner! Hoosier! Set up further that way and rain hell on ‘em! Stay where I can see ya!” Leckie ordered motioning towards the area you all just walked away from.

Hoosier and Runner rush back up the road then hastily set up their ‘Goon Guns’ facing where the threat was coming from.

You find a spot behind the pile of fallen trees to take cover, peeking over the top to make sure you can see and hear if the guys needed you. Watching them work out there left you utterly awestruck.

There were obviously more of the Ichiki out there than you could see. Although there were more of them, their aim was terrible. The Japs plotted their targets all around you and the guys, mainly hitting palm trees and rocks. You watch sharply as each shell made its mark.

You tactfully maneuver closer to Runner and Hoosier until you see a streak of enemy gun fire trailing closer and closer towards them. They, too, see the danger approaching and jump start into a sprint towards the tree line.

Runner finds cover behind a pile of gravel while Hoosier runs towards the stack of fallen palms you were hiding behind. A mortar dropped in his path causing him to double backward as he tried shielding his face from the debris.

As the remnants of the explosion clears, you see his silhouette crouched over, rubbing his eyes. You look past him seeing the approaching stream of enemy fire coming straight for him. The fragments of dirt and sand had obscured his vision leaving him unaware of the jeopardy he was in.

“Shit!” You huff as you hurdle over the mound of trees darting towards Hoosier.

A split second before the enemy can make contact with their target, you tackle Hoosier, projecting you both a few feet out of the line of enemy fire onto the jungle floor.

“Ooof!” Hoosier exclaimed when you knocked the air out of him.

The attack continued a few more minutes, then died down to an unexpected silence. You hear rapidly approaching footsteps of your comrades racing towards you and Bill.

Hoosier on his back and you on your stomach with an arm draped across his chest, you feel seeping warmth soaking through your uniform just around your hip and down your thigh.

Thinking you lost bladder control, you look over your shoulder down your left side and see a crimson red stain on your shirt and pants pooling onto the sand beneath you. Hoosier sat up quickly, causing you to wince when your arm slipped off him.

“Fuck, Y/F/N, you’re hit!” Hoosier announced.

“Well no shit, Bill!” You replied annoyed.

Leckie and the rest of them encircled you and Bill.

“Oh, God.” Leckie choked when he saw you were bleeding.

“Get her bag!” Runner told Sid.

As gently as he could, Hoosier flipped you onto your back, untucking your uniform top from your pants on your left side,

“Y/F/N, tell us what to do!” Hoosier said when Sid came back with your medic satchel.

You take a deep, ragged breath, “First see if there’s an exit wound. Prop me up on my right side and see if the bullet went all the way through.”

They did as they were told.

“There’s an exit wound back here, doll!” Leckie confirmed.

“Ok that’s good,” you reassure through a cough, “Get the big gauze from the bag, pack the entry and exit wounds to—absorb the..blood…and then…then-“

Tunnel vision sets in and you start to black out.

“NO! No no no no, stay with us, Y/F/N!” Hoosier bellowed, “Goddamn it, get her wrapped up we gotta get her to the aid station, NOW!”

~~~~~~~

The boys got you back to the aid station just in time. Luckily, a supply drop was made a few days prior to you being wounded, and the nurses were able to get you hooked up to plasma. You remained unconscious for three days.

Hoosier, internally battling his agonizing guilt for treating you the way he had, visited you everyday while you lay asleep on your cot. On days he wasn’t on patrol or on post, he set up a blanket and pillow on the floor next to you to sleep so he wouldn’t miss you waking up.

While he slept on the ground next to your bed, a whimper emitted from above him disturbing his slumber, alerting him that you were waking up. His eyes snapped open as he swiftly pushed himself up from the floor to kneel next to the side of your bed. With the morning sun illuminating your face, he admired your angelic features as you began to stir.

All he could do was stare, wanting nothing more than to see your beautiful eyes open. Your lashes flutter before your eyelids fully reveal the color of your eyes to him. You look side to side, doing your best to figure out where you were and how you got here.

“Good morning.” Hoosier bid you.

You slowly look over to him.

“Oh. Hoosier.” You reply softly.

You try to sit up and suck in air through your teeth when you feel a sharp pain on your left side.

“What the ffffffuuu-“ you start to say lifting your left arm up to look at your side.

Your mid drift was wrapped in dressings like a mummy. You lightly run your hand over your covered abdomen. You tried to remember the last thing that happened in the field. Hoosier saw you struggling to recollect the events that happened three days before.

“Those Japs got you right above the hip. But it only went through the muscle, Doc said. Nothin’ important was hit. It was a clean shot.” He explained.

“Right.” You whispered staring into space.

Hoosier paused, looking down at his hands folded in front of him on your blanket.

“Why did you do it?” He finally asked.

You looked at him perplexed, “Do what?”

“Why did you save me?” He clarified.

You looked down at your toes under the sheets.

“Because it was my job. I wasn’t about to just let you die.” You rationalized.

“After how much of an asshole I was? After what I said to you in the foxhole before that?”

“Well-“ you started before allowing yourself to briefly slip into your thoughts, “..yeah.”

Hoosier stared at you as confusion screwed up his facial features. His eyebrows drew inward as he started to shake his head at you.

“So, you’re welcome.” You added.

“Ha!” He huffed, “I should be grateful!?” He asked sarcastically.

“Well yeah! I did take a bullet for you! You ungrateful piece of-“

“Hold on, there, pal. I didn’t ask you to do that-“

“-You don’t have to! It’s my fucking job!” You bark back before he could finish.

You grimace from pain from over exertion by raising your voice.

“Just go, Bill. I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“I wanted to make sure you woke up.”

You look down on the floor next to your bed and see his blanket and pillow.

“You slept here?” You asked amused.

He nodded. The pieces started to come together in your head.

“Why don’t you just admit you care?” You prompted.

“Fucking what??” He fired back, slightly embarrassed.

“You heard me.” You retorted.

“You’re a dizzy dame, you know that?” He grumbled.

“Whatever, Hoosier, just leave. I can’t stand to hear your voice anymore.” You conclude as you shift to your right side to once again face your back to him.

Bill was bewildered. He leaned back on his heels not knowing what to do next.

“Just go.” You repeat, knowing he was going to try to push the conversation.

He stood, hovered over you for a few seconds then start to slowly back away. He turned on his heel to walk away, but his intrusive feelings stopped him in his tracks, and he abruptly returned to your bedside.

“Ok, so you want to hear it?” He blurted out.

Startled, you return to your back placing your head upon the pillow awaiting his speech.

“I care! Ok?? There, I said it!” He confessed with his arms raised then slapping them down to his sides before he continued,

“As a matter of fact, you’ve had me fucked up for weeks, that’s how much I care. When you stopped sassing me after you got mad at me, I thought I’d be relieved, but I wasn’t! It killed me slowly inside when you refused to look at me or even acknowledge my presence! I couldn’t sleep because everytime I closed my eyes, I saw your face. I couldn’t concentrate on patrol because I constantly wondered if you’d be ok without me around!”

You gaped at him, completely baffled by his outburst of affection for you.

“I got it so bad for you, I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.” He professed calmly after taking a breath. He looked down at his boots.

You close your mouth and also look down at his boots.

“I’m gonna go. The guys will wanna know you’re ok.” He muttered as he turned to leave.

“Um, Bill?” You call after him gingerly.

He stopped right at the threshold of the doorway to look at you. You wave him over.

He hesitated at first but came back to you. You began to move your legs off the bed to sit on the side.

“What the fuck are you doing?? You shouldn’t be-“ Hoosier tried to reprimand.

“-Bill, shut up, and sit with me.” You directed patting the surface of your cot next to you.

He begrudgingly sat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

You swallowed hard, unsure you could speak after what he just told you. You look over to him and catch him nervously side eyeing you, waiting for you to say something. The ends of your mouth curve into a faint smile.

“Bill?”

“Hm.”

“Look at me.”

He reluctantly meets your gaze.

“Did you mean everything you said?”

His eyes widened, “Every word.” He purred.

You beamed at him and before you could stop yourself, you pulled him by his shirt catching his lips with yours. He cupped the side of your face as he tilted his head to the side to deepen the kiss.

He snaked a hand around your side,

“Ah-ah-ah ow!” You pull back in pain when his hand touched the tender part of your wound.

You grab his hand gently and pull it away from your side.

“Oh shit! I’m so fucking sorry!” He said alarmed, “Are you ok?? Did I hurt you bad??”

“It’s ok, Bill. It was the heat of the moment. It was worth it.” You justify with a wink.

His look of concern melted into admiration.

He tucked a stray strand of hair from across your forehead to behind your ear, then placed his palm against your cheek. You lean into his touch, placing your hand over his. He rested his forehead against yours.

“Will you stay with me again?” You implored.

His smile widened, “Of course.”

“You can sleep up here with me.”

Hoosier laughed, “We ain’t gonna fit up here together, sweetheart.”

“Then I’ll come to the floor with you.” You insisted.

Hoosier shook his head, “How about I pull another cot over here and we push ‘em together?”

“See? You’re smart and pretty.” You teased with a wink.

He kissed you delicately, his mouth forming into a smile against your lips.

~~~~~~~

Just for you @awaterfalls Let me know if you like it! ❤️

[aleksanderscult]

Today I will rant about Malina

Because this ship tried to be passed on as an ideal relationship to have.

*spoiler: it wasn't*

Malina is a ship that was shoved down our throats throughout the trilogy. Whether you shipped it or not you were bound to read about it in literally every other page.

And what are the negative aspects of this ship?

Literally EVERYTHING.

Let's start with Mal. The number 1 asshole in this trilogy.

And yes he is the number 1 and not Aleksander since Aleksander was a character with a goal. He had a grand plan that exceeded selfishness and pure evil and he used any means necessary to fulfill it. But Mal? Remind me, what was his plan?

Well, at the start of the trilogy to fuck around girls and then, when Alina began to feel something for someone else, to undermine her, latch on her and chastise her. There you have his role.

The minute Alina started having a life of her own outside his influence, the little jerk felt overlooked and his pride got hurt.

It's evident that Alina felt quite unseen from Mal in the beginning. He flirted and fucked girls right in front of her face (since she very clearly knew) and he even stopped hanging around with her as much as he did in the past.

Quite a start.

And then when Alina found her strength, happiness and place in the Little Palace he got offended. Why isn't she tortured as the rumors had said? What are these clothes that she's wearing? Why is she happy? And, most importantly, WHY IS SHE HAPPY WITH ANOTHER MAN??

Alina at that moment felt like she was walking on eggshells around him. She didn't know what to say without provoking him further. And when she found her voice, the little prick got all puffed up and left without even apologizing for ruining her nice evening.

Then we have Mal not talking to her as if it wasn't his own decision to abandon the army and follow her and again made her feel bad for even mentioning the Darkling.

It appears that Mal had no problem when his best friend bullied Alina but went actual feral when a (powerful) guy showed interest in her. Insecure, aren't we Mal?

In the following books we have Mal being okay that Alina doesn't use her powers and therefore being weak.

We have Mal being more concerned if Alina fucked the Darkling than being tortured by him. Apparently he wanted her virginity for him, I don't know.

We have Mal acting like crazy because Alina decided to return to Ravka to lead the remaining Grisha. But what about him?? What about his needs?? And what if he decides not to follow her? What will she do then?

(people call the Darkling manipulative but let me show you another person that you overlook as manipulative, my friends)

He gets angry when she hesitates to kiss him and again makes her feel bad about it. And how does he respond with that?

Revenge!!✨✨

Kisses Zoya, a woman he fucked before, and then threw the blame to Alina ("at least she doesn't flinch when I kiss her" "why do you care? You don't care about me anyway") Gaslighting at its finest form, my friends! 👌 Knew that she would be hurt, knew that she had feelings for him and still did it.

Oh and let's forget how he wanted the good, old Alina back! The sickly one that always depended on him for company and strength. He basically asked her to tear out a piece of her soul! 🥰🥰

And then, of course, jeopardized both her image and her safety by getting drunk and getting into fights (*whispering* we, the readers, are supposed to find this very romantic, okay? A man that drinks, sulks and makes the heroine feel bad. Just so you know).

Then the author made a 360° and presented Mal in R&R as changed and a very good person. Willing to die heroically for his love. How did she do that?

💕💕With zero development!!💕💕

One minute he's up there in the chapel being a jerk and the next minute he's underground and changed. I think it must have been the change of air, what do you think?

I have a huge problem with Leigh Bardugo about this. She presents Darklina as toxic. And it is. She presents Nikolina as little to zero toxic. And it is. But when she presents Malina, it's a really good, cute ship!! Not toxic at all with lots of possibilities! Leigh has constantly defended it saying "Oh but Mal was a teenager".

Ma'am? I was a teenager once and I never made my best friends feel like shit.

And as have everyone said before, Mal hits veeery close at home. He's every jerk that you have met in your life and you will meet again.

With Darklina you have nothing to fear. Because no one will put the collar of a magical stag around your throat, no one will have a nichevo'ya bite your shoulder, no one will ask you to abandon your friends so you can save some Grisha from the persecution. But plenty of men will slut-shame you for what you're wearing, plenty will feel insecure for being stronger and more famous than them, plenty will make you feel like shit for finding happiness and plenty will sabotage you by taking revenge kissing someone else.

Malina is a ship that is REAL.

While Darklina is your typical, fantastical ship.

Her hard efforts to pass it on to the readers as something healthy and inspiring is disgusting and makes me hate it even more.

Now from Alina's perspective things are even more tragic, since Alina never grows as a character because of him.

She always thinks "What about Mal? Will Mal follow me? What if he doesn't? It's my fault. It's all my fault. Where is Mal?".

This is it. This is the trilogy in a summary.

A heroine that seems more concerned about Mal than the country and people that expect from her to save them.

"Alina doesn't want a crown. That's why she left"

Girl, I don't want to go to work every day either.

Kids don't want to wake up to go to school.

People don't want to pay taxes every year.

But we do them because we MUST.

Just like Alina should stay, lead and rule because that's what she should do as the protagonist. Not pass on her own duties to others and say "gotta go lolz". Malina could be used as a plotline for Alina to gain strength from by casting aside Mal's influence and finding her own power inside herself. Instead Leigh did the opposite: stripped her powers (her own self) to fit in Mal's world.

And this excuse that the author had given ("some women don't want to wear crowns") is pathetic and idiotic.

Frodo didn't want to carry the Ring but chose to do the right thing. Harry didn't want to fight a war with a psychopath but did because it was the right thing. The Pevensie siblings didn't want to fight the White Witch and rule a country but did both because it was the right thing. Every hero in a proper story does the right thing. He or she becomes selfless and sacrifices his own happiness and well being to stand up against the evil and corruption.

In the trilogy instead we have Alina who had a responsibility and duty but unfortunately for Ravka and the Grisha she was not a responsible person but a girl that wanted to depend on a man. She didn't want to use her influence to protect her people but hide.

Apparently the "evil villain" understood the assignment better than the author ever did.

Alina never grew as a person or as a character. It was only Mal and Mal. If only he had stayed dead in R&R then the world would shine brighter. But no! The author brought him back and gave us an explanation with how that happened that I still don't understand because it doesn't make a goddamn sense.

I guess the easy explanation is: "I brought Mal back because Alina had to end up with him somehow. Deal with it."

And we just have to accept this (just as Alina did) whether we like it or not.

Well I don't.

Because I've met people like Mal and they're assholes. They want to be the strongest one in the relationship, they want their girl to look up to them and depend on them and when they make mistakes it's none of their fault.

Because I've met people like Alina that try hard to please their man while in the meantime they "crumble down" emotionally and feel insecure. They never shine with their own light but seek only the one that their toxic partner can give to them. Without it they're lost.

Because I've met couples like Malina. And it's never a happy relationship or has a happy ending.

And when you try to pass on this relationship in fiction as something healthy, then you really need to reconsider.

[moonxmagix]

Daddy's Girl NSFW

Pairing: Frank Iero x Fem Reader

CW: Age gap, teacher frank, student reader, light smut, daddy issues, soft frank, underage drinking, mentions of the word daddy, def sexual tension

Summary: Frank is your teacher and you two hit it off. Y/N has heavy daddy issues and Frank takes you in. He treats you like what your childhood self deserved, safety and love.

A/N: This is VERY long. I wrote 11 pages on Google Docs so I'm very sorry LMAO. It might be a bit wordy and not super smutty if thats okay. I wanted to write something softer in nature. Also apologize if there are any grammar mistakes. :)

Reblogs appreciated!

~^~^~^~^

As I sat there in an uncomfortable school chair, surrounded by the ghosts of my past, I stared out the window that was covered in rain. The day was gloomy, constant thundering and on and off downpour. I tapped my foot up and down while playing with my bunny keychain as my anxiety washes over me. School always made me anxious and hate myself, constantly feeling at battle with myself and others. 

It was my senior year and I just turned 18, so all I had to do was wait to get out of here. Kinda like prison if you think about it. Our school had uniforms and if anything that was the best  part about this place, not to mention it looked like some old money school for rich kids. Which was funny because a lot of the kids here come from nothing, like me. 

My drug addicted mother raised me semi alone, meaning that she constantly had men in and out of her life. My real father left when I was only a few months old so I never had that strong, protective father figure in my life. I craved someone to love me, hold me tight, whatever fathers do with their daughters. My moms boyfriends that were long term, aka 6 months, would try their best to be there for me but as soon as I got comfortable with them they were gone. 

I tried to stay out of relationships out of fear that the same cycle would happen to me. 

“Y/N? Are you listening?” Mr. Iero said, pulling me out of my daze. My head quickly turned to him, almost embarrassed, “Yes sir, sorry.” He turned back to board, continuing the lesson. Mr. Iero was my english/music teacher, he taught both. The first day I walked into his class I had a massive crush on, like journaling and daydreaming about him crush. I never made advances to him because what would he think?

I can’t get him in trouble and I can’t jeopardize my education for some man. I once again zoned out heavily, staring out the window. I watched as a father checked out his daughter early for school it seems, hugging each other under the umbrella as they smiled together. I sighed, rolling my eyes at the sight. Almost disgusting to me but that's just the jealousy getting to me.

“Y/N? Please pay attention, we have an important test coming up and you can’t miss this,” he sighed, putting a hand on his hip. Everyone turned to stare at me as I got smaller in my seat. When I looked back at everyone else to me they had dark eyes, something evil brewing but also something dead. I know realistically that a lot of the people here never paid attention but were much better at hiding it I think. 

“Please see me at the end of school,” he said and a few people let “Ooo” escape their mouths. Thanks Mr. Iero for embarrassing me. I wanted to hate him for that but another part of my brain desired to have that alone time with him. Even a hug from him would suffice my animalistic hunger for him. Just, “I’m proud of you,” would motivate me for the rest of the year. 

Class was dismissed and I quickly got out of there but he caught my wrist before I could, “Promise me you’ll be here after school. You can’t ditch like the last time.” I nodded and promised him that I would be back. The last time that happened I left out of pure anxiety, I threw up in the hallway on my way to his class. But safe to say this time I could get myself through it. 

I went to my locker to change out books and my best friend Livvy came up to me, “Wanna hang out after school? I wanna get coffee,” she said excitedly. “Maybe, Mr. Iero wants to see me after my last class,” I said, I didn’t want to disappoint her. “Omg again? Did you space out again (nickname)?” she said, lightly punching my arm. 

“Yeah, I just hope it’s quick. If so, I’ll make sure to call you when I’m done,”  I said with a smile. We said our goodbyes as I went to all of my other classes. I watched the clock as it quickly rang, I took a few deep breaths as I prepared myself to see Mr. Iero. I know it couldn’t be that bad but my anxiety tried to convince me otherwise. 

I looked through the glass of the door and saw no one inside so I thought maybe this could be my excuse as to why I didn’t show. “Right on time!” a voice behind me said. It startled me so I turned to see that it was Mr. Iero. I softly smiled as he unlocked the door to let us in. I didn’t see it but I heard him lock the door behind me. 

I stood in front of his desk leaning against a student's desk. He stood in front of me also leaning against his desk. I kept my eyes to the ground for the most part, “Are you okay? You’ve been very quiet and dazed in almost every class,” he said in a soft voice. My tense shoulders relaxed, still not sure how to respond, “You can tell me, Y/N.” He took a couple steps closer. 

“Look at me,” he said in a more demanding tone. I looked at him and he smirked, I wanted to fall to my knees right then and there. He rolled up his sleeves to reveal his tattoos, “I..I’ve just been going through a lot at home,” I said to put it simply. “Sit, let’s talk about it,” he said sitting in the students chair next to me. I sat down hesitantly, I don’t know if he actually cared about me or what. I guess we’ll find out. 

I told him about my mom and everything that I’ve been struggling with. I didn’t outright tell him about my struggles with men and not having a father figure of sorts. But he’s smart, so he could probably piece things together based on  how I answered some of his questions. At the end of my story I let a few tears escape from my eyes, he reached his hand up and gently wiped them. 

He placed his other hand on my knee, rubbing his thumb on it. “You have nothing to worry about with me hun,” he said sweetly, maintaining tense eye contact. He was such a good listener and never interrupted me. “Your secrets are safe with me, I’m so glad you’re finally opening up to me. Since the beginning of the year I’ve had my eye on you, there’s something special about you, Y/N,”  he said, whispering the last sentence. 

He grabbed my hand and held it tightly in his. I felt my face heat up like a thousand suns and my heart rate picked up. I couldn’t help but let a smile form on my face, “That’s my girl. No need to be sad when you’re around me. Hey, I’ll even move your desk closer up to mine, yeah?” I nodded, feeling like such a typical schoolgirl. 

He looked at the clock, “I should probably let you go now. Here,’ he said, handing me a little piece of paper. I pocketed it in my bag and before I left he gave me a big, warm hug. The smell of cigarettes and cologne hit my nostrils, it was a smell so intoxicating that it would stay with me throughout the rest of the day. I left and ran out of there to my house, it downpoured on me though. It made me feel like I was in a movie of sorts, I let the rain fall and drench my uniform and hair.

I ran inside and went straight to my room to text Livvy, it was Friday so I told her to come spend the night with me. I really didn’t want to tell anyone about what happened but she was the only person I could trust with this information, she understood. She literally has a sugar daddy, she has no room to judge me! 

Livvy came over and got settled right in with snacks and cute pajamas. “Tell me everything!” she said excitedly. I giggled, “He asked me if anything was wrong, I avoided but he pried so I spilled everything. And now he’s moving my desk up to his, he touched my leg and hugged me!” We were both laughing and blushing over this. 

“Oh! I think he gave me his number,” I told her, remembering the paper he gave me that I still haven’t opened yet. “Bitch show me!” she said excitedly. I got the paper from my bag and counted down from 3, I opened it and it had his number inside. “Text him now!” she said getting my phone from my nightstand. 

I input his number into my phone, “What do I say though?” I bit my nails. “Something flirty for sure,” she said, taking a sip of her drink. I started to type: hii its Y/N, miss our time together already xo 

“Bitch that's good!! He’s bound to fall in love with you now,” she joked. 

Hours went by without checking my phone and it was around 8pm. I checked my phone during our movie and he asked to call me, I sat up straight with my eyes wide. “He wants to call,” I said suddenly. “Oh shit! I’ll turn the tv down and I’ll stay quiet,” she shushed herself. 

I gave the phone a ring and he picked it up almost instantly, I put it on speaker phone. 

Frank: Doing okay? 

Me: yeah, thanks for letting me vent. Made me feel a lot better 

Frank: I’m glad, honey. 

Livvy looked at me with shock, “Honey?!” she mouthed covering it with her hand. 

Frank: Um, I wanted to ask if you wanna hang out tomorrow? You don't have-

Me: Yes. I’d love to! 

Frank: What time are you free then?

Me: Umm maybe around 12?

Frank: Sounds like a date then

We both hung up and we’re screaming with joy, I never thought this day would come. Hanging out with a teacher outside of school? Is that legal? I couldn’t back out now, my fate was decided. “What am I gonna wear?” I said, asking Livvy for help. She’s always been the cooler one in terms of fashion, so I can trust her to dress me. 

~^~^~^~^

It was 10 am and I had just the right amount of time to get ready. I checked my phone and he said he’d be picking me up at my place. Livvy left already and I sat down in front of my floor length mirror and put on light makeup. I got dressed in a black skirt, sheer black leggings, doc martens, and a white and black striped sweater. 

The clock finally turned 12 and I looked out my window to not see a car yet. I sighed with relief because in reality I definitely didn't feel ready. I checked my phone and Mr. Iero said he would be there in 5. I went ahead and stood out front to wait for him. 

His car pulled up and he got out to greet me, “Wow, you look great!” he said with a smile. He had on sunglasses and chewed his gum kinda obnoxiously but hot. He gave me a big hug and opened the door for me, his car was super clean surprisingly. “Where are we going?” I ask timidly. 

“Downtown, get some coffee and donuts,” he smiled, placing his hand on my thigh. “How’d you know where my house was?” I asked. “Teachers have access to those kinds of things,” I just nodded in response staring out the window. It was pretty cloudy and I was kinda hoping it’d rain. 

We got to the coffee  place downtown, “This is my special spot, for a special girl,” he smirked. I felt my stomach overfill with butterflies and a sparked joy I didn’t know I could feel around  somebody. He got out the umbrella and interlocked arms with me, I looked at him with such content but confusion. I felt like I didn’t deserve any of this, none of the kindness, none of the listening, nothing. 

He told me to sit down at a booth while he ordered us stuff. I texted Livvy while sitting there: 

Me: Liv i think im in love no joke 

Liv: i would be too 

Me: were getting coffee rn ill update soon 

He came back and sat a delicious smelling coffee in front of me, “Thank you Mr. Iero,” I said. “Call me Frank, no need for that outside of school,” he said, he grabbed my hand that was on top of the table. I looked at him, blushing hard, what if someone saw us? 

We talked about the things we both liked and hated, we actually had a lot in common. “You like Elvis?!” he said, shocked. “Yeah and?! It’s a comfort thing,” I defended. “Explain,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Sometimes when my mom was out I’d spend the night with my grandfather and in the morning while cooking breakfast he’d play Elvis,”  I said, reminiscing when I actually had a somewhat stable relationship with a man. 

I think Frank noticed my mood diminish into something solemn. “Let's grab those donuts, I have somewhere else I wanna show you,” he said, grabbing my hand. He showed me off proudly, it felt like he was telling everyone around him to look at me but not in the way I’m used to. He put his mouth close to my ear, “We’ll have to share a donut, they’re almost out of everything,” he said, placing a kiss on my cheek. 

We walked under the umbrella together as we started to share the donut, “Don’t lift a finger princess,” he said while holding the donut up to my mouth. He basically gave me the whole thing while he only had a couple bites. “Why do you treat me like this?” I asked him, curious as to why he is so fond of treating me like…a girlfriend? 

“I think you deserve it, Y/N. I’ll explain more later,��� he said with such sincerity, gripping my hand tighter. Was this going to be a whole day affair? My mom hasn’t been home for a few days so I didn’t feel the need to tell her where I was, it wasn’t like she was answering my messages anyway!

“What’s wrong hun?” he said, taking down the umbrella as the rain had stopped and the sun came out. “My mom hasn't answered my messages, it's been days,” I said, a little disappointed. “I’ll look after you, don't worry about it,” he said as we showed up to a record store. I gasped as I could never afford to buy my own records, it felt like a dream. 

We went inside and looked around, I looked around for a ‘The Cure’ album. As I kept looking I felt a body press up behind me and place their arms around my waist and a head on my shoulder. He placed soft kisses on my neck causing me to giggle, I felt him do the same in my neck. “Find what you need?” he asked. “Yeah, did you?” his hands were empty. “Yeah,” he smiled playfully like he was up to something but not sure what. 

“Bullshit. You need to get something or else I’ll feel bad that you spent all your money on me,” I said feeling slight guilt about him buying things for me. “I have you, that’s all I need,” he said, pulling me to the register and pulls out his card faster than I can reach for my purse zipper. 

He handed me the bag of my records and we left. We didn’t do anything much except go thrifting and it was already 7 PM. “I have one place left to go,” he smiled, pulling out of the spot. “I feel like we’ve been everywhere already,” I said, whining. “Be a good girl and don’t whine for me, okay?” that immediately put me in my place and I complied. I could see a smirk on his face, he knew what he did to me. 

I heard a song on the radio that I liked and immediately turned it up, it was You Get Me So High by The Neighbourhood. “You like them?” he asked. “Love them! I’ve seen them in concert  twice already,” I said proudly. Livvy knew I couldn’t afford it but she ever so kindly  bought them for me. 

After a short drive we made it to our destination, a bar. It was quite crowded, I wasn't even old enough to drink yet. I looked at him worried, “I’m not 21..” I said. “I can get you in darling, don’t worry,” he said reassuringly. I trusted him but I tightened my lips anxiously. He was able to get me in because he was close friends with the guy at the front. 

We got in and the music was at a comfortably loud volume. He dragged me to the bar and ordered me a drink but I couldn’t tell you what it was. Tasted great though! 

I downed a couple drinks and I basically became a melting mess in Frank's hands. I held onto  him for dear life like someone was trying to pull me away from him. I dragged him outside for a cigarette break, I pulled them out of bag and I forgot my lighter, “I forgot my fuckin lighter.” He laughed at my tone and lit my cigarette for me. 

We stood inches apart, he held my waist with his tattooed hand. I took a huff of my cig and blew it in his face, “Naughty girl,” he chuckled. He pulled me in to kiss him and our lips collided. The taste of cigarettes and alcohol mixed perfectly with each other. I wrapped my arms around his neck, not wanting to release. 

I shared my cigarette with him and he whispered in my ear, “How about you come over to my place for the night?” My heart was beating out of its chest, “Are you sure that's okay? I would need to get my stuff at home,” I said. “We can stop by your place first baby, I do have a few room-mates if that’s okay,” he said looking away embarrassed. “More the merrier!” I joked. 

We drove back to my place and I led him up to my room, he sat on my bed and I packed up a couple things. I turned around putting my hands on my hips, “All packed,” I smiled. He patted his hand insinuating for me to sit on his lap, so I did. I wrapped my arms around his neck, “My pretty girl,” he whispered while pushing my hair out of my face. 

“I really don’t understand why you like me, Frank,” I said, that feeling of undeservingness washing over me. “Look at you Y/N!. What is there not to like about you? We have so much in common and I can’t get over how beautiful you are,” I need all the reassurance I can get. What if he leaves me? Would another man treat me like Frank does? 

“Do you promise not to leave?” I asked tearfully. “What? Of course I do, Y/N. How could I do that to you sweetheart?” he said, hugging me tightly. “We should get going,” he said softly. I nodded and he grabbed my bags for me as we walked back to the car. 

We got to Frank's place and it was dimly lit, it smelled of cigarettes and expensive musky candles. I saw band equipment set up, “What’s all this?” I asked. “Oh, me and my friends do gigs on the side,” he chuckled as we walked to the kitchen. A timid man turned around to greet us, he gave Frank a hug and gave me a handshake. Firmly. 

“Nice to meet you,” I said shyly. “Franks said a lot about you, nice to meet you,” he smiled kindly and I furrowed my brows a little confused. He talks about me? What did he say? More  questions to be answered. 

Frank hurried me to his room, it was spacious and had a few of his guitars displayed on the walls. He disappeared for a second and brought back a shirt and pajama pants of his, “Put these on,” I took them. I went into the bathroom bringing my toiletries along with me. I changed into his oversized clothes and  washed my face. 

I brought out my phone and snapped a pic of me in the mirror sending it to Livvy. She replied almost instantly: not you going home with him !! be safe !! she replied.

I went back out and put my other clothes back in my bag, “You have such a nice room,” I complimented. “Biggest one in the house,” he brags. I hadn’t noticed before but he turned the radio on and it was on a classic rock station. The room was filled with cigarette smoke and incense. Lamps created the perfect sensual ambience. 

I laid my head on his soft pillows and Frank hovered over me, caressing my face with his hand. Something came over me, my eyes filled with tears and escaped the corner of my eyes. “What’s wrong princess?” he said, worried. I shook my head, sobbing. Never was I good enough to ever receive a love like this before. Here I had it. 

“Tell daddy what’s wrong princess,” that broke me. I couldn’t tell if I was imagining all of this or if it was some sick joke. I straddled his lap, crying into his shoulder. His hand rubbed up and down my back sensually. “I’ve never felt such an overwhelming amount of love and adoration from a man before,” I stated plainly. 

He asked me to talk about it so I did. I told him about the men this time, while I did we drank. It got to the point where I only started seeing flashes of my surroundings. One minute I was taking off my clothes, then I was sitting on top of Frank, then throwing my head back and moaning. 

I remember seeing Frank go down on me and him forcing my legs open as I was ready to release on his face. Flashes of Frank saying things like, “You're daddy’s good girl…I’ll never hurt you…you’re safe with me…shh you’re okay sweetheart.” His voice vibrated through my skin. 

Soon enough I passed out, naked and covered up by the warm sheets. I woke up groggy and still a little drunk around 3 am and had my clothes put back on. I groaned and didn’t see Frank in bed with me but playing guitar across the room. “Frank?” I said, rubbing my eyes. He immediately rushed to my side to comfort me, “Are you okay princess?” he said. 

I nodded, “Could you get me some water?” I asked because my voice was hoarse. He brought back water to me and I downed it as fast as I could. He got into bed with me and I cuddled up at his side, holding on for life. 

I grabbed Frank's face pressing our lips together, I longed for his kiss and his desire. He pulled away and cupped my face, “If you were my little girl, I’d do whatever I could do for you,” he said softly. “I am,” I stated so desperately wanting him to take me in, live with him, devote my life to him. “I’d even run away and hide with you if I could. You’re daddy’s girl,” he said pulling me into his chest. 

To be safe and sound in his heart forever. 

[liecastillo]

The Game // Lloyd Hansen

Lloyd Hansen x female reader

Summary: You didn't behave according to Lloyd's expectations and he has to punish you.

Warnings: bondage (nothing hardcore), sex toys, slight knife play, hints at overstimulation and squirting, nicknames, use of sir (like once)

Wordcount: 1.3k

!!beware of all the mistakes, English is not my native language!!

A/N: Was this on my WIP list? No. Was this my top priority for the last two days? Absolutely yes.

Enjoy!

Lloyd's hand firmly gripped my forearm as he dragged me inside his bedroom and threw me on his bed. With a shriek, I bounced on the mattress and giggled.

“Oh, you think this is funny, baby girl?” he growled. 

“Yes.” I kept on giggling like crazy while I brushed my hair off my face. Angrily he pointed his index finger at me.  

“You embarrassed me in front of very significant people, there is nothing funny about that.” 

Perhaps he was right. But I was still having a lot of fun. 

I knew this evening was important to Lloyd and yet… Yet I couldn’t keep myself down. 

I was horny for hours while he was ignoring me because of them, so I decided to have at least a little bit of fun and dance for a second.

But apparently, it was more than Lloyd would ever allow me to. The dancefloor was crowded, everyone’s body was rubbing on someone else's body and everyone was touching everyone. Including me and the man closest to me. A very hot man, may I say. Though, not as hot as Lloyd right now.

No. He was pissed because I was touching someone else in front of his own eyes. And when he’s pissed, he’s very hot. 

He growls like a feral animal and becomes very dangerous to everyone, including me. And I knew that and still decided to start a fire.

Because I wanted to have fun.

And fun I’m going to get.

He reached into his pocket and took out a knife. His moustache moved as he snarled while he kept on watching me very closely.

“What do you think it looked like when my own girl started flirting with some cheap ass douchebag, huh? Do you think you can play with me like that?”

His stormy blue eyes narrowed when he raised his hand and with the knife in his hand tore my dress apart right in the middle. 

I was left totally bare like the day I was born since I opted not to wear any underwear underneath my dress. My breasts were finally released from their tight prison. They nicely splayed on my chest as I laid there and waited for what would happen next.

Blue eyes roamed my body and tried to survey the situation in front of them. The very horny body with full swaying breasts and wide hips was in front of him on a golden platter.

“If you think that… Then you are very wrong, baby,” he spat out. “Because no one plays with me like that.” An evil grin appeared on his face as his hungry eyes gave me another once-over. 

“But if you do want to be a playful kitten, perhaps I could offer you a game of sorts.”

Oh yes, please. Whatever it is, I want it. Now. 

I was very much desperate at this point. His strong body was hovering above me and his cold eyes were staring straight into my soul. His stare was so intense, that it sent shivers down my spine.

“I think you’re going to like it. A lot.” He lifted one corner of his mouth. “It’s a game exactly to your taste.”

He looked around the room before he ordered: “Move up!”

I moved up on the bed and laid my head on the soft pillows covered in silk sheets. They were cold against my burning skin but I welcomed the stimulation as I was finally able to feel at least something.  

While I did that, he went to one of the drawers and opened it. He took out a couple of ropes and a vibrator with a big head.

Oh yes, please, just give it to me.

He quickly went back to me and with his skilful hands tied my arms and legs to the bed. Whilst my wrists were tied together, both my legs were tied to the bed separately so they were nicely spread in front of him.  

Yes, this really is a game to my taste. 

Out of pure curiosity, I tugged with both my arms and legs but was met with resistance against the rope. As always, he tied it tight with precise knots and gave me no chance to escape his torture. 

Not that I wanted to.

I looked up at his face with a satisfied smile on my lips but I quickly changed my expression.  

“Please, sir, give it to me. I want it. So so bad. Please,” I pleaded without hesitation. I knew he would ask me to do so in a matter of time so why not get it over with as soon as possible so we can get quicker to the more interesting part? 

“Now you want it and aks for it,” he smiled slyly. “But in a second you are going to say the opposite. You’ll beg me to stop, to give your poor pussy some rest…” There was a fire in his eyes whilst he was telling me this. A fire that burned only for me and won’t be put down until he is satisfied. 

“But you asked for this and you’re not going to get any rest nor mercy. Maybe you should think first before you say or do something you shouldn’t, you stupid little girl.” 

Without giving me a chance to somehow react to his vice words, he pressed the vibrator against my clit. I moaned loudly at the sensation. I was already tremendously slick from the fact I was tied to this bed and waiting for whatever he might do in the next couple of seconds, so it was easy for him to move the vibrator around my clitoris and my folds without any resistance. 

I knew this toy very well, he used it on me frequently and because of that I also knew that this was the lowest setting out of eight. Which was odd, because he usually liked to start with a solid three so we can get everything going. But this time… This time it was different. 

My hips bucked up from the bed and my legs started to slightly shake. I closed my eyes to fully enjoy the sensation of the upcoming orgasm while my breathing quickened up. 

Despite it being the lowest setting, I came fast and hard. My lips were widely opened as I came and screamed. 

Finally, I got what I wanted, although Lloyd’s dick would’ve been ten times better and cuming on his dick? That would’ve been a hundred times better. But I’ll take whatever I can get if it equals pleasure. 

I smiled widely and breathed out when the pleasure subsided. My chest was quickly rising and falling as I was trying to recollect my thoughts. 

“Oh, do you think this is it?” he asked. His face appeared in front of me as he hover above me. He had a deeply neutral face going on at the moment that I could not read very well. His eyes were frosty cold and his lips were pulled into a tight line. 

“Do you think I’m done? Sweetheart, this was just the beginning,” he said. With a curious face, he looked at the huge vibrator he was still holding in his hand and wondered: “How many settings does this thing have again? Eight?”

He looked me dead in the eyes and smiled. But not in a happy way. No, no. In a very evil way. 

“Baby, I think there is a long and gruelling night ahead of you,” he says and playfully presses the vibrator against my hard nipples. I tip my head back and moan.

“Because I want you to cum again and again until you soak this bed to the brim and you squirt all over my face.”

And with that, he once again pressed the vibrating toy on my clit. Only this time it was on the second setting.

A/N: I am very nervous to post this since this is not the usual stuff I write, but I still hope you enjoyed it and you'll leave me some feedback!

Tag list: @keanureevesisbae

[gnar-slabdash]

Leverage Mark Showdown -- Second Heat Contestants

Where the nominator left comments (or fun extra descriptors), I'm including their comments, cause those are way better than what I'd come up with. Where they didn't leave comments, you'll have to settle for mine :P

Jack Lattimer The Radio Job, The Last Dam Job (also sort of most of Season 4) Hes a background guy, just barley staying relevant but also managing to be a pain in the ass to Nate and the crew, but he's not as much of a threat as Damien Moreau, but still stays in the background disrupting htings and giving the crew a hard time purely beciase he wasts a few extra bucks. Hes a bad gys that feels realistic an investor who found a way to cheat the system to benefit himself.

Jimmaaay Jimmy Jimmy Ford The Three Card Monte Job go grandpa

Dr. Anne Hannity The Inside Job That cocky/confident shit is hot... Except for the part where she manufactures a famine. But every time she thought she had a trump card she was sexy af

Dalton Rand The Future Job he's the worst kind of loathsome esp bc he's the most directly confronted with the harm he's doing and is totally blase about it

Nicky & Heather Moscone The Wedding Job They're both great caricatures and I like that they double cross each other.

Alan Foss The Two-Horse Job He’s one of the most well-sold “cartoonishly evil immature dickbag“ characters  we encounter. I love his arrogance, his uber-hateable sexism, and the over the top reactions he makes are so much fun to watch him get angry about. Damien Moreau, "IF WE MUST" The Big Bang Job, The San Lorenzo Job - specifically for the bathrobe and flipflops and being carefully staged to not look like everyone around him is normal human size, bless him - silly charming terrifying bastard man. can't believe this hasn't been done yet.

Retzing & Sons The Snow Job Dysfunctional crime family getting synergistically worse the more they try to deal with each other. Also I get excited every time I see my boy Jonathan from Buffy

Meredith The Lonely Hearts Job Man, she actually almost did our heroes in, didn't she? I love her grudging respect for Sophie, like she is genuinely into the art of grifting and willing to acknowledge being bested

James Kanack The First Contact Job He could have just been another rich and successful asshole. But no, that wasn't enough for him. HE HAD TO TALK TO ALIENS.

Mitchell Kirkwood The Studio Job Dude was a charming psycho, I'd let him murder me for my songs 😍 Plus watching his face break was 😚 Divine 😚

Hugh Whitman The Gone Fishin' Job Yeah, you know, let's do some regular debt collection fraud and also fund an entire militia out in the woods behind the bank, that seems normal, right?

Larry Duberman The Reunion Job what if there was a nerd who had sometbing sooooooooo wrong with them. also his actor was in big eden i got really excited when i recognized him

Wendy Baran The Gimme a K Street Job - okay I cave, you got me with this one. You're gonna have to send some propaganda, cause the nominator didn't say anything and i literally remember nothing about this character except she thinks breaking teenage girls' necks is a fun way to make money - Update! The nominator says: - Okay I said Baran bc I hate her so very much -  And she’s a girlboss (derogatory)

Andrew Grant The Miracle Job Love the energy, love the way he threw a wrench in their plans by being even more of a sleazy money grubber than they expected (and more creative about it!), and yeah, he's another one that I actually feel kinda bad for cause playing on his anxiety was LOW.

Irina Larenko The Stork Job She was such a ditzy cunt, I hated her but I loved watching her on screen. Kinda cute in a way idk plus her main muscle was kinda unfff

[bornetoblood]

@littlealeta making a new post for this just cus I feel a little bad tagging onto this post ad infinum I hope you don’t mind :)

A lot of the things I have to say on this are pretty complicated (and I’m a little stupid) so sorry if this is like... uninteligable (also dw you’re not being mean! This is a pretty light hearted discussion about a video game I’m really not taking it to heart). I hope you don’t mind me doing the same right back at ya.

I don't really mind Vincent not saying he has a girlfriend since he's confused as to what he wants in his life, plus Rin and Catherine both threw themselves at him not Vincent. I think the game often gets viewed wrongly, a lot of people seem to think that if you have a partner, you should settle down with them and not think about breaking up with them. The game is trying to tell you that while it's not okay to cheat and betray your partner, it is okay to not have serious relationships.

My problem with Vince not telling Catherine he has a girlfriend doesn’t stem from the fact I expect him to settle down or think that’s best for him (the true freedom ending is my favourite for a reason) I have a problem with the fact it is a very serious betrayal of Katherine’s trust. While there are extenuating circumstances (the like... demon shit) Vince’s reluctance to come clean to both the girls purely stems from him not wanting to face consequences, which is selfish. Again I don’t think this is bad from a character standpoint, I find it very compelling, but it is immoral.

The problem is moreso how both Catherine and Katherine are written. They're both selfish and overly controlling to your character in different ways that it's just hard to fathom why Vincent would want to be with either of them. I wish Katherine was written to be less selfish, like why would you want to marry and have children with a man who drinks, smokes, lives in a messy apartment, and spends money impulsively? And Catherine had such rapey and yandere vibes from the start, which doesn't make sense because again, the game is focused on cheating and the idea of whether you want to live a free or traditional life. So why make both women so mean-spirited to the protagonist, one of them even raping and sexually assaulting him? And Vincent isn't even concerned about it? At least make Catherine's evilness more subtle and maybe not really come up until later in the game as Vincent starts pushing her away more and have Vincent not remember what happened between him and Catherine at the bar at all.

I agree and I think Full Body remedied the points with Katherine specifically to an extent. The scenes we are shown of Kath and Vince at the begining of their relationship genuinely makes me wanna see if they can make it work like that again! I think Kath wants to marry Vince cus they’ve been together for 5 years and they’ve both drifted apart over the years and don’t want to acknowledge that. The K endings read to me as the rekindling of their dynamic that had been dampened over time if that makes any sense. The deal with C is that I think her malice is already a slow burn (the SA point I fully agree on btw even if it is kinda ambiguous if they ever actually had sex when she says they did ((cus of the whole demon thing)). I think theres a relitive suspension of disbelief with C because she is supernatural. I think C nad K are both pretty compelling and both can be good for the Vince that ends up with them (the Vince that wishes to settle down and rekindle his romance and the Vince who wants to be king of hell). 

But isn't that what all the characters in the game do? Is challenge women and each other? If they weren't, wouldn't we have Vincent agreeing to settle down with Katherine from the start? Sure Vincent has a problem with speaking up, but it doesn't mean he doesn't wish to rebel against the pressure women place on him. Personally, I can see Vincent's point here. He's often pressured by women to live a traditional, old-fashioned life of finding one partner and settling down with them. Vincent doesn't care about serious relationships, he just wants to take his time hooking up with women until he finds the one he truly loves. Like I said, cheating is never okay. But we've never seen Vincent make a move on Catherine.

Vincent may be jumping to conclusions about women here, but that's all he's ever known, since both Erica and Katherine and even most Catherine players are pressuring him to settle down and to stay with the one he's been with for a long time, even if she may not be right for him.

Vince being a guy who wants to sleep around and not settle down is the same Vince who wants to settle down with his family, or be with no one at all, we get to pick which Vince he becomes and the game is about Vince self discovering into the ending we pick for him. He is all and non of these things. Vince, and the other men in Catherine, experiencing pressure from women does not excuse thier treatment of them and I do not blame the women for this, it’s society as a whole that places this importance on marriage and women are more so affected by that expectation (that was created by men might I add). Marriage may be right for Vincent Brookes and it might not be. There is no right way to climb the tower.

Like Katherine, Erica can be well-intentioned at times, but just some of the things these two say just sound very morally biased, especially regarding relationships, mostly about the importance of being tied down. It's why I cannot stand any of the women in the game. They all just seem so shallow and narrow-minded. Maybe it's because I'm not someone who is focused on going after the idea of marriage, but I don't see how it's a problematic thing to not want to settle down, get married, and have a family, especially in the 21st century. Maybe that kind of thing is different in Japan, but here in the western world, where Catherine is set, those things aren't important anymore.

I’m also adverse to marriage for myself, the talk in Catherine about the importance of marriage all sounds the same to me. But it is the same coming from every character in the game, which is why I don’t hold it against Katherine or Erica and still fully enjoy them (Erica specifcially being one of my favourites I love that she takes 0 shit from anyone). Also sorry if this is pedantic but Catherine is set on Mars in an amalgum of the US and Japan (like Ace Attorney ((not the Mars part)). It being a made up setting allows it to make its own culture, which happens to be one where society deems marriage very important. I wish the characters ‘happy endings’ didn’t tend to end in marriage too but that seems more like a general thing with how Atlus decided to write the game than a specific character issue if that makes sense.

Again, I do agree that Vincent isn't written as well as he could have been but with what they had, I think they did a decent job, especially compared to characters like Shinji, Jerry Smith, and Arlo the Dinosaur who are just shallow and/or inconsistent characters. I just find everyone else shallow for the reasons I mentioned in the other post and I just can't find myself connecting to their characters. Orlando even goes back and forth between saying his ex betrayed him and he betrayed his ex. Like, am I supposed to even sympathize with this character? Is he a victim or not? I don't even know what exactly happened between him and his ex.

I ADORE these character inconsistancies. With Orlando specifically it’s implied his use of their finacies in the scam was a betrayal of sorts (like he lost their life savings by getting tricked) and his wife leaving him cus of this was also a betrayal. I love it because there is no good or bad guy here, it’s humans in a human scenario where they both made mistakes and I find that deeply compelling. Orlando’s struggle with blaming his wife and then himself for the totality of the situation is soooo fuckin cool I feel like I’ve known people like Orlando.

Like with Archie and some of the other sheep, trauma is not always an excuse to be an asshole. I went through some trauma, Vincent has gone through way more trauma, and we still care about others and want to do the right thing. We're not perfect, but at least we're willing to help others which Vincent's friends rarely do, at least they're not as empathetic with him.

I despise Archie and I would dance on his grave, but what I do love about this side quest is that it shows off how compassionate and loving Vincent is. He forgives and loves unconditionally no matter how awful a human being is and is always there to help them. When they die, he becomes quite shaken.

Here I think we are simply after different things in these characters. Archie’s trauma does not excuse his actions and never will but they do contextualise them and make him sympathetic. I can empathise with how he has come to the conclusions he has due to his past even if those conclusions are harmful and wrong. This is what I love in characters, messiness and humaness. This goes for all of the patrons for me btw. I agree that Vince’s interactions with the sheep bring the best out of him (tbh I think they showcase his more confident and heroic side in a much more natural way than Rin does lmao). Vincent finds comradre with a group of other traumatised, also misogonistic men. They learn together. Get better together. They open up to each other in a way society has barred from them outside of this life and death scenario and they are better people for it. They remedy their biases and they have each other now ( have i mentioned the bar patrons are my favourite part? cus they’re my favourite part).

I don't see the problem with the game showing another side to Vincent. I think it was Atlus's attempt at showing Vincent's more likeable side (which I think they did a good job with compared to the original) but it also tracks because we've seen Vincent being mentally stable and compassionate like this toward the other sheep. Rin is the only character who's consistently nice to Vincent, so it makes sense that Vincent would be at his best with him. Rin is perfect because he's an angel. And he does have flaws, he refuses to forgive Vincent after he apologizes for pushing him away. That was a cowardly and cold move considering how close they were. I think I just like that Rin is the only character who actually shows empathy and support for our main protagonist when everyone else hardly did.

My problem isn’t with Vincent showing another side, it’s that I think this shift is sudden and jarring. Vincent acts sooo differently in the Rin cutscenes (even when he’s with his friends he was stammering next to like 5 seconds earlier). Like I said I thnk this is done better in regards to his slow gain in confidence with the sheep. Rin is the only character who is pretty much always nice to Vince and, yes, it is because they are an (at least allegorical) angel but I do find this... boring and not very compelling. Flawless characters send me to sleep sorry I just can’t personally see the appeal in someone who has no room to grow. I feel like an angel character can have compelling flaws but they just didn’t do this with Rin and thus their scenes do not grab me the way the rest of the cast’s do. I am aware this is my personal preference but I do like my characters with a little more going on. Rin refusing to forgive Vince for having the literally textbook transphobic response to seeing them naked is not a flaw, in fact I think they reacted too mildly. While Rin is not explicitly trans I hope you understand I’ve seen the whole: Character is she/her’d, character is revealed to have a penis (shocking!!! violent and/or disgusted reaction expected!!), character is he/him’d like a billion times and I am a little sick of it actually.

I suppose my point here is that Catherine is about the relationships between damaged people. Navigating those relationships through the hardships is what I find compelling about the game and Rin distictly lacks that dimension. Vincent works for and cultivates his healthy support system by the end of the game. He gets closer to his friends, to other men, to himself- regarless on whether he chooses to persue romance. Rin throws a pretty hefty spanner in this for me in a way that could of been interesting but feels underbaked. I get why people like these additions but it runs in direct contrast to all the things I find interesting about the game soo uhh yeh.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[cws: non-detailed discussion of both fictional and irl SA/CSA/abuse dynamics, apologia for the previous, homophobia, fetishization of wlw, and anti rhetoric.]

-

having a lot of thoughts about the wider fandom's treatment of the various abuse dynamics present in sdmi--supposedly in the name of being anti-abuse--and how instead it's propagated deeply anti-survivor/abuse apologist sentiment and behavior through where they choose to apply that rhetoric, and where they choose to look the other way.

(first off, if you're someone who does not and has not done this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. second, this is not at all exhaustive of my feelings on the subject and there will probably be more posts about these dynamics and people's behavior toward them in future. as you can imagine by the length of this post that is saying something lmao)

one of the reasons i feel as strongly as i do about the way both canon and fandom have historically been about pericles, pericky, and shitting on anyone who likes them because it Normalizes Abuse(tm), is that their fans are pretty open and emphatic about the fact that it's Fucked Up. it's why we find it compelling. it is vanishingly rare that we don't.

meanwhile, velma is the UwU Cute Sassy Lesbian Icon whose relationship with shaggy was Cringy and Immature (and mutually so 🙃) at worst, when it directly mirrored such visceral aspects of my experience with CSA that i almost threw up rewatching the second episode.

and that's not even getting into how normalized it is for women to abuse men in a relationship, in broad fucking daylight in front of other people, and how men are supposed to Always Want It and it's an insult if they don't, and how the vast majority of CSA--which it overtly is in shaggy's case, he is implied not to be an adult yet--is perpetrated by other kids.

and it's also not getting into the fact that the ~cute lesbian relationship~ is almost certainly going to end up with the other queer girl in the show also being abused, because abusers are not Magically Cured by True Queer Love's Kiss. how it is incredibly difficult for survivors of abuse in a wlw relationship to be acknowledged or get support because then they'd be a Traitor, or people would rather maintain the feel-good fuzzy feelings wlw exist to give them, or they're closeted and it's not safe to let people know they're in a relationship with a woman. how queer relationships, especially between women, are fetishized as cute pure healthy fairytale romances and not dynamics involving real people who might harm each other or be harmed and need help.

and that's not even getting into the fact that mlm are seen as inherently predatory to an extent that the majority of other queer identities are not. how older queer men grooming boys is a classic homophobic stereotype used to justify violence toward them, up to and including lynchings, and how that is the abuse dynamic everyone in the show and fandom latched onto to revile as the Disgusting Evil Predatory One while giving everything else a pass. how mlm have a long history of forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, and the Predatory Gay Man is subjected to decades of--you guessed it!--forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, which is framed as what he deserved and where he belonged. how he's supposed to be unattractive (and the majority of the people who do this shit lean hard on that), while people are way more likely to give Charming Attractive Aesthetically Pleasing abusers a pass.

this is just..... normal, to the fandom. it's treated as completely normal. and i think that's a whole lot more fucking harmful than finding emotional catharsis in exploring an abusive dynamic that would not fly in broad daylight irl in a million years.

[builtfromflowersandvines]

Teal Deer: I’m reviewing every historical romance author I’ve read in 2023 so that I can get recommendations.

Never Again:

Amelia Gray - I’ve got zero time for this conservative pick-me-girl bullshit. The male protagonist actually said, “I like a girl with spirit.” You can’t have your protagonist saying the villain line, that’s gross. This shit is for my amusement. If I can tell how you vote by how you write, you’ve got to be voting like me. Did not finish. 

Jillian Hunter - I just can’t care about these assholes. The men are loud, boorish, selfish, clueless. They are a frat boy stereotype dressed in Regency clothes. I don’t remember the female protagonists, I read her a month ago. That’s pretty forgettable. 

Maya Rodale - I don’t mind a little pop culture reference, here and there. However, writing a book that pulls *heavily* from Bridget Jones’ Diary (which is already referencing Pride & Prejudice) and Mean Girls? Really? When I saw the line, “On Wednesdays we wear pink” I threw the book across the room. I like light, effervescent, and fun, but this was dumb. 

Elizabeth Hoyt - Grimdark as historical romance? Nah. If you show me a dark, brooding, bad man as the male protagonist, I’m not going to swoon guys. I find that shit exhausting. “I’m so evil, and a little mean” ok, well I’m bored. I will never find a Pure Woman’s Love Redeeming A Piece Of Shit Dude even a little compelling. Babygirl, he isn’t worth *that* amount of labor. 

Rachael Miles - too boring to finish, too boring to remember. 

Sabrina Jeffries - Her series have a mystery at the heart of them. You learn a little more about the mystery in each book in the series. Unlike Lady Sherlock, which is a Mystery series written by a Romance author, these are romances that have an element of mystery. She can’t always keep my attention. The juxtaposition of light-hearted romance and gritty mystery doesn’t always work. Her characters also run a bit immature. Actually after reading what I wrote, maybe she has disappointed me one too many times. 

Eva Leigh - too boring to finish, too boring to remember.

Undecided:

Jayne Fraiser - Um… the story was alright. It was a little too focused on just the protagonists, the families and friendships are the reason I read these books. To not have many fleshed out characters was disappointing. Also, if you are going to have your protagonist have a career or a hobby, you have to know enough about that career or hobby. The book I read the female protagonist was a modiste. Y’all? I’ve read a fuck ton of these books and I have a degree in history and my history degree is mainly British history. She did not do enough research. That really does count against her. 

Minerva Spencer - Witty. Constantly, exhaustingly witty. Your characters don’t need to cut up at each other all of the time. 

Amalie Howard - I did enjoy this book. But. The characters and the slang are too modern. Progressive is fine. Actually, it is kind of necessary for me. To ignore the milieu, the culture, for the story doesn’t work for me. You cannot tell me that this Not Like Other Girls girl also gets zero flack for not being like other girls. It felt like there should be cell phones and social media and that is not what I’m looking for in a historical romance. 

Olivia Waite - Loved it. But I’ve only read one. I need more information before I can make a determination. As an aside; I skim the sex scenes, they are usually more funny than hot. I want to know if they do/say/feel anything germane to the story while they do the deed. Um, The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics has some hot scenes. Sophie Irwin - Have only read one. It was good though. The female protagonist is pragmatic and flinty, I enjoyed that. Will have to read a couple more before I can truly determine the ranking

Christina Dodd - She has flashes of good writing. However, I’ve read 3 of them and her male protagonists are interchangeable and so are the female protagonists. All the dudes are high-handed, imperious assholes and all the ladies are *so conflicted* Also, not enough showing us who the characters are. Those flashes of good writing are tempting but…. The downsides are pretty down. 

Shows Promise:

Johanna Lowell - If she fulfills her potential, she will be legend. She has something that not many authors have. How did they get so much story in so few pages?  Terry Pratchett has it. Eloisa James has it. Looking forward to the next one, I really hope it is as good as the 2 I’ve read. 

KJ Charles - Charming. Witty. There is often a mystery contained within the romance. Charles was the first m/m romance I’d ever read. It does approach sex differently than the m/f or w/w romances I’ve read. I was a little shocked at the pacing and the lack of tenderness. The only author that isn’t shelved in Erotica as opposed to romance that Charles reminds me of, is Susan Johnson. Her sex scenes also give me the same kind of whiplash. The story outside of the sex is amazing though. It is really taut, it feels more like mystery than romance. 

Emily Sullivan - She is another author that, if she lives up to her potential, will be amazing. I’ve read 2 and I can’t wait for the third. The characters came alive on the page. She shows the realistic conflict of being progressive in the Victorian era. She doesn’t pretend that things were better than they were. But she also doesn’t feel bitter and hopeless. (one of the reasons it would be very hard for me to write a historical romance is because I wouldn’t be able to have the optimism about the future that the characters do)

Cat Sebastian - I loved one! And I didn’t finish the other. Really, I just need to start another and see where it goes. Their m/m romance was so good. (and had some tenderness, that was missing with KJ Charles)

I Enjoy Them But….

Elizabeth Boyle - She can be amazing, but she isn’t always. She has maybe 4 books that are chef’s kiss no notes good. The rest of them need some notes. There are a few phrases she beats like a dead horse. I understand that language amongst the upper ten thousand was very homogeneous, but not all of your characters should have the same phrases and cadences. Her characters also run a bit immature. 

Kiernan Kramer - She is hit and miss. More hits than misses. The spying for the Home Office plotlines are fun, very fun, not at all believable. Which is fine. I don’t need it to get dark. It is something to keep in mind though because the cavalier way they are doing intelligence work would drive me insane in a more serious genre. These are light and fluffy and fun, she has never made me cry, but she has made me laugh. 

Julia Quinn - this one is gonna be controversial. She is a hits and misses author though, no matter how popular she is. The Duke & I has an infamous scene that makes me rageful. I wish they would just communicate, sex and procreation are BOTH things that have to be consented to. When she is good, oh my word, she is so good. When she is bad, she is boring. (or in that specific instance, offensive) There are books of hers I would highly recommend, but she doesn’t have an entire series that I can recommend. And that is what takes her off of Legend. I want the whole series to be worth recommending and worth re-reading. 

Julie Ann Long - She’s darling. Her books are so cute. They’re practically YA, except they absolutely have semi-graphic sex scenes. There is supposed to be Danger and Adventure, but I just think everyone is so adorable. I’m not sure I’m supposed to though. They aren’t very deep. They give me zero anxiety. I can’t remember any of her characters making me angry, maybe exasperated. Even the books I adore have characters I want to shake until their teeth rattle. Honestly having a good hateable character is key. 

Victoria Alexander - Sometimes she’s charming. Occasionally she has a female protagonist who has not figured out that Independent Woman does not have to equal I Need No One! And that’s exhausting. Sometimes her male protagonists are a bit… dumb. A little dumb and a little ineffectual. Look, I’ve read other authors writing less than brilliant protagonists both male and female. It doesn’t usually feel like a dig. I just want her to expand her idea of what women might find empowering. I don’t need the men in my life to be less than me. 

Liz Carlyle - Good character development. High drama. All the characters are so reactive. Fun to read, but I’m very happy that it isn't my life or my romantic relationship. She has had a few male characters who I just could not hang with. All romances will make you want to shake the protagonists and yell, “just fucking truthfully communicate!” Liz Carlyle has that in spades. You might stroke out from frustration with all the lying and secret keeping. 

Erica Ridley - I’ve only read The Wild Winchesters series. It’s really fucking good though. One of the books in the series is a sapphic love story. I’d love to put her on top tier or legendary status, I just haven’t read enough books by her to know if she is consistent in this kind of quality. 

Evie Dunsmore - I’ve read the 3 books she has published, and I have enjoyed all of them. The characters are complex. There is so much more than just a romance going on. I appreciate a well done subplot. I do expect to reread her. She has the hallmarks of my favorite romance authors; complex characters, the characters have an/a estate/career/hobby/passion, there are subplots, the friendships are almost as fleshed out as the romantic relationship. 

Vivienne Lorret - Light, good, fun, strains my suspension of disbelief at times (yes, even more than usual). I’ve read about 8 or so, they’re like m&ms. I’ve only given up on one of them, those aren’t awful odds actually. Great friendships and sisterhoods. She is another author that feels a little YA other than the graphic sex. 

Mimi Matthews - Lots of promise. Her research does need to get a little tighter, making a historical error really will pull me out of a book. She has not done anything as off-putting as the book that had the egregious error of having Bonnie Prince Charlie in the wrong century, but this is not the genre to write in if you aren’t going to get the details right. Her characters are charming! Her friendships are well-written. There is a lot of potential, the books I’ve read were really good. I just want a little more, something isn’t quite hitting.

Top-Shelf:

Sherry Thomas - Okay, to be fair, I haven’t read any of her romance novels this year. I’ve read her mysteries. She was a romance author first though so I’m including her anyway. The Lady Sherlock series  is the best mystery series I have ever read. And I love a good mystery; historical mysteries, cozy mysteries, I like them. Reading a mystery that was written by a romance author made a perfect pairing. I get all the details about the clothes, food, friendships, gossip, and I get an intelligent mystery along with it! Heaven. I have read her romances but it has been a minute. Go read the Lady Sherlock series, immediately. 

Sarah MacLean - Oh Damn. She is on her way to Legend status. Seriously. No notes. Her legendary status really is just a matter of time. She has been publishing since 2009, I have yet to read a book by her that wasn’t top shelf goods. Now I haven’t read her YA, she does write both. Her books intended for adults do not remind me of  YA. There is a fair amount of darkness. The graphic is pretty graphic. 9 Rules to Break is one of my favorite romance novels of all time.

Lisa Kleypas - See, this breaks my heart a little. If it weren’t for her first few books, Lisa Kleypas would be up on Legend. Those first couple books have genuinely repulsive male leads though. I stopped reading one of them on the fifth page, I was appalled. (I do not need the protagonists to be someone I would be interested in. I do need them to be someone I’d trust with an uncovered drink though). HOWEVER, starting at Again The Magic published in 2004, she has not had a miss. Genuinely she is one of the best! It just took her a decade of publishing to hit her stride. 

LEGENDARY:

Loretta Chase - one of 2 authors that I will read what they published before 1999. Look, when it comes to consent if it is not a “Hell Yes!” it is a “Fuck NO!” if the protagonists aren’t being crystal clear about consent that does not fucking appeal to me. Loretta does not ever have a problem with her male protagonists blowing past consent. That is really important to me. Loretta Chase has likable characters. She can make a character who I would hate in real life and make them an appealing person. I would never want to date any of these characters, but I’d love to be friends with them. Her Dressmakers series is the best example of a realistic idea of what would happen were someone in trade to marry into the upper classes. I’m a huge fan of the Fallen Women duo because of course I am. Her adventures genuinely feel like adventure, some romance authors never quite manage to get the light and dark to balance, Chase does so well at it. She has variety, some authors write the same couple every damn time just giving them different names. That is not a problem here. 

Jo Beverley - The other romance writer that I will read what she wrote before 1999. When it comes to action adventure, James Patterson has nothing on Jo Beverley. I have read every single book in The Malloren World, Company of Rogues, and Three Heroes at least 3 times. Three Heroes and Company of Rogues are linked. The villains are bad to the bone and scary believable. Actually that is why I rarely recommend her to others. Almost all romances will have a trauma to make the character more complex and deeper and such, most of that happens before the book starts. The characters' behaviors and motivations are informed by their trauma. In Jo Beverley books you might be there for the traumatic event. I love having action adventure where I get to know what people are wearing, and eating, and gossiping about. A lot of action adventure is really boring because it is all a lone man up against…. whatever, he is already boring me. In Jo Bev books there are often several people working together, women and men, to fight the good fight and I find that far more compelling. Again, I don’t want to be in any of these tumultuous relationships where the ladies are high spirited and the men are high handed, but damn are they fun to read. I do love these books so fucking much! They are well written, witty, smart, complex, fun, funny, but unless you can handle murder and sexual assault as plot elements I would not recommend them. There are other traumas too, but if you can handle the biggies, I’m not worried about the lesser traumas. Again, she is one of the best, she is one of my favorites, I hope if you read her you love her too. Just head’s up and be aware. 

Mary Balogh - the Queen of hobbit romances! Hobbit romances is a phrase Nathan came up with when I told him some of my favorite romances don’t have a big blow up of a conflict, they have people getting to know one another and figuring out how or if they fit in each others lives, there is usually like hurt feelings and miscommunication but no major dust ups between the protagonists. The trauma is usually something from outside and they face it together. These are my favorite kind of romances, they are the only ones where I maybe… might… put myself in the shoes of the protagonists. When I read I like to be an invisible demigod that is experiencing the story but not participating. Just like almost everything I prefer observation to participation. But the hobbit romances, those I might dip my toe in for.  Not all of her romances are hobbit romances, but most of them are. Her characters are more fully realized than the top of  Maslow’s hierarchy ok? I know them better than I know several of you. I could go gift shopping for these characters, I know them that well. Mary Balogh is a damn genius at fully fleshed out and perfectly formed characters. Her families are my families. I would (and did) start at One Night for Love published in 1999. The Bedwyns, the Dudleys, the Huxtables, the Westcotts, I love these families! They provide all the positive family feels without y’know actually having to interact with family. I also adore the simply series that is four teachers and friends who work together all finding love. I LOVE the Survivor’s Club!! I thought I was going to have to opt out because of my own PTSD issues but no. These are powerful moving books but they do deal with warfare and the aftermath. They weren’t easy to read, and I know this is weird to say about a romance series, but I think it helped me get past some of my own shit. It was hugely cathartic. Vincent and Sophia in The Arrangement, oh that might be one of the best books I’ve ever read. Not just one of the best romances, one of the best books. Mary Balogh is the Queen of hobbit romances and we LOVE her for that. 

Best In Show: Eloisa James

Look, if Mary is a Queen, Eloisa is a Goddess. I own a physical copy of every Eloisa James book. I mainly read historical romance, and I love it. I don’t own physical copies of any other romance author’s books. (I’d like all of my legends, but I made a point to make sure I had Eloisa) I’ve given away so many Eloisa James books. I made her a favorite author when I worked at the book exchange. No one writes like her. I love her characters more, I hate her characters more. She gets so much story into so few pages! She gets more out of me than other authors do. I’m more invested in her stories, I feel them deeper. My very favorite romance ever is between two of her characters, but they don’t have their own book, their story is told as a subplot to the books in her Duchess In Love series. Sebastian and Esmee is my favorite love story and I’m not even sure why, I’ve nothing in common with either character, but I adore their story. (damn, I might have to reread that series.) One of my favorite characters ever is in The Wildes of Lindlow Castle series. Lady Knowe, the Duke of Lindlow's twin sister. She is the maternal presence in the series, but she is not a mother. She is fascinating, she helps her twin run his estate, she is unconventional, but she knows what convention dictates and stays within the appearance of propriety most of the time. One of my favorites characters of all time, I want to be like her when I grow up. Eloisa James has the dubious honor of writing the only female protagonist that has made me seeing red mad at her. Don’t get me wrong, lots of the ladies make me super exasperated. But this was more Bloody Enraged. I think it is the mark of a damn good writer if she can get you seething foaming at the mouth angry at a figment of their imagination. Her side characters are so well fleshed out you guys! There is not one boring character. Reading her books is like being possessed in the best possible way.

[rughydrangea]

2022 drama year in review

Normally I’m very good about getting this in by the new year, but I had a few 2022 dramas to catch up on, so I’m late. I’m glad I took the time to catch up, though, as it’s got me excited about dramas for the first time in a long while. They’re still good! (Even if there should be more sageuks.)

Joining the pantheon of my favorites:

Little Women -- Hands-down the best adaptation of Little Women I have ever seen. The acting, directing, music, plotting were all superb. But there are two aspects of the show that really stood out to me: 1) Little Women is a novel about sisters born into poverty, who have no clear path out of that poverty. They all spend much of the novel learning the difficult lesson that being poor isn’t a state they will someday be liberated from but the noble condition in which they will live their lives. And poverty is explicitly linked with virtue in LMA’s worldview--when Jo starts to write racy stories to earn money, when Meg resents being the wife of a poor man, these are portrayed as moral failings that must be corrected. And though Amy does eventually marry into money, it’s not a road without hardship--she essentially has to salvage the man that Jo threw in the trash and teach him how to be a human again. Bless this drama, then, for refusing to romanticize poverty and ending with the sisters thriving off their stolen money. Living in this painful, heartbreaking, corrupt world as poor girls did not purify them, it merely hurt them. Stealing money from those who made them suffer may not fit LMA’s vision of ethical living, but it’s what In Joo, In Kyung, and In Hye deserved. Long may they enjoy their ill-gotten gains! 2) Finally, a Little Women adaptation willing to make the objectively correct decision and let Jo and Laurie end up together. Every other adaptation and the original novel found dead in a ditch. All hail Jung Seo Kyung.

My Liberation Notes -- Following up My Ajusshi was kind of an impossible task, but damn if Park Hae Young didn’t manage it. A thoughtful, heartfelt, deliberate show that never took the easy away out and somehow found the beauty in the small, painful, confounding details of life. I have like Kim Ji Won since Heirs and adored her since Fight My Way, but this drama showed an entirely different side of her, tamped-down and bitter and wonderful. And though one could argue that the show glamorized alcoholism (I don’t think you can drink that much soju and still look that good), it was all worth it for Mr. Gu. May we all get an alcoholic gangster hottie who worships us on command.

Through the Darkness--This drama was a lot more gruesome than I thought it would be? But it was also smart and deliberate and compassionate. The entire cast was great, but Kim Nam Gil was incredible, doing so much with silence and stillness.

Quite good:

Alchemy of Souls--So stupid. So fun. What is there left to say?

Love Like the Galaxy--It kind of lost me in the middle, but I was back on board for the end. Unexpectedly, my favorite part of the show hands-down, and the only story to make me cry, was the emperor and his doomed love triangle. Is this how I know I’m getting old?

Under the Queen’s Umbrella--Silly and heartbreaking in equal turn. Every time a mother hugged her child I melted. Lots of good, rounded, complicated characters but then there were also a few who were pure, cartoonish evil, which was less fun. The acting saved some of the more confounding writing decisions.

Not bad:

Strange Lawyer Woo Young Woo -- It started out so strong, but really limped to the finish line. I simply have no patience left for heroically idiotic breakups.

WHY??!?!?

*** ***** -- It turns out that when you watch a show that is absolutely not for you, you are not going to like it! I’m glad for the people who loved this show, but every time I saw a novel-length essay explaining how dramatically flawless it was, I truly felt like I was living in an alternate universe. Some of the acting was good, but a lot was aggressively not. The product placement was dizzying. Every single aspect of the premise and a lot of the conflict felt like it was scripted by aliens who hadn’t quite grasped human behavior. Still, I am grateful that it gave me something supremely silly to focus on at a very stressful point in my life, and it’s tough to fault a show that is pretty clearly for a younger age bracket for not appealing to me, an old person. The secondary couple ruled, though.

[renisfan]

Actually, if we follow the stans' logic of "A stabs B means A wants to f*ck B", we can achieve this very deep and complex™ version of 3H's story:

When Edel threw the dagger at the end of AM, it actually meant that she was a trans man who had always wanted to f*ck her first crush who looked like a cute little girl back when they first met.

But the mitri had been taught throughout his life that he's a man and thus needs to defend his honor as a man, so he had no choice but to stab back with his own p*nis-shaped weapon, despite he was so eager to take her hand in marriage before all that happened.

Edel was so frustrated by the fact that her first love was no longer the pure girl she remembered but had become an evil man who refuses to let her stab-stab (and worse, he even stab-stabbed her! The horror!), to the extent that she decapitated him in CF (which is totally a metaphor for castration) as her vengeance.

But Fodlan was under the control of a conservative system, so her desperate action was met with (unfair) punishment by the hands of SS/VW Billy who, due to the player rejected their right of free choice, had become the new embodiment of oppression. They cut off her head in return as a cruel denial to her gender identification.

If only the church could be more open to trans men and if the mitri could just accept to be her wife! But Rhea Bad and Toxic Masculinity so it had to end in a tragedy. :(

[tlacehualli]

‘what doesn’t kill you…'

"Pull up a seat, Gabito, let me tell you a little story. It'll be fun!" She sits at a table in the mess hall and there's a bag of Takis in her hand that she's eating as if they have not even the barest hint of capsaicin - but having been a child in Mexico of all places, to her, it really didn't feel like much.

"Chido. Okay, so, back in Los Muertos, I was like 16 or something and I was trying to impress this girl that went to one of the local schools. She was so cool. She was so cool that I thought she was cool and I had been in a gang for like four years at that point." The hacker snorts as she chews, rolling her eyes at herself. "But hey, in my defense, she was very pretty."

She shrugs and continues. "So she asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her friends that night, they were trying to drink and all that. Mind you, I'm 16, she's 17, neither of us are drinking age even pero I was a street kid and she was bad as hell so neither of us were that concerned about it. And she gets these older guys to buy us alcohol. College guys maybe? Definitely not age appropriate. Either way, they get us tequila and shit and then we - including the certainly not age appropriate gentlemen - all head out to the beach to have a whole drinking at the beach moment."

The hacker pinches the bridge of her nose at the memory of herself. How foolish she had been - oh God, the shit she had done in her youth for women. "I just wanna stress, again, that I was there because she was really hot. But instead of anything gay happening, I'm trying to get a 22 year old straight man the fuck away from me for like 40 minutes. And then I drank so much Corona and Patron that I threw up. Anyway. Moral of the story is. Women are the devil Don't do it. Don't do shit for 'em. Stay away from them. Pure evil."