#girl she won’t go to uni listen to me

[ran-orimoto]

I love Chiaki is a ballerina in your future Au. Don't ask but I thought in GG Calamara danced like a balerina and I thought about it back then but also Rana had balerina poses like when she bends to make the mist

Only in MTTCI, in truth!

I won’t hide the Calamaramon from GG actually sealed that headcanon in my mind with all those twirls looking like the pirouettes of a ballerina…? But I mean look at this, absolutely yes💕💕💕.

And I also get the Ranamon thing, yes. There was a fanfiction on EFP (italians’ fanfiction site lmaoo) where Ranamon’s movements were described like the ones of a ballerina and YESSS, she absolutely performs pliè, for example, but also when she raises her hands to join them in the air wwwwwwww, her gait, her poses WWWWWWWW. She’s such a graceful being.

Tbh I chose ballet for MTTCI Chiaki, over her being a soprano like in the main timeline of my story, because I was fascinated by the fact in late XIX and XX century’s literature the figure of the ballerina is a symbol of vacuity and deceit. She both represents the fascination of art and its artifice. Since Ranamon is a veeeery vain, to the limits of extreme shallowness, I did want Chiaki to be like that to create a faint connection.

Moreover, being a boring person loving these kinds of motifs, I often like playing with the concept of the illusion embodied by life on a stage. So, MTTCI Chiaki is a ballerina but also an actress, Teruo is more a theatre man ( but he’s also a countertenor) Junpei is a tenor fooling around with both theatre and acting and voice acting for children stuff maybe, as well, because talk to the man about kids and he will be happy to oblige.

Chiaki as a soprano was too great to trash it away tho lol. I wish I could have been able to add Izumi and make the stage trio a quartet, but Izumi just…Threw her possibilities into modelling in canon. Funny as freak if Junzumi would meet again as actors in a romantic film. THAT’S another idea I would like to play with someday. I MEAN THERE IS A WORLD OF AUs I CAN COME UP WITH. WHY BEING BORING.

[yaniluvs]

you love rain, i love you. ꒰ a l.mh imagine ꒱

˖ㅤㅤ۫ ㅤㅤ ꕮ ㅤ۫ㅤ 🪜 ˖ㅤ ㅤ۫ㅤᘞ ˚ ۪ masterlist > schedule > main directory

♪┆pairing : lee minho x fem!reader ͏ ♪┆info : tsundere x sunshine , tooth rotting fluff, they're in loooovvveee, uni au (bc im obsessed), adorable, friends to lovers ♪┆ personas: uni students , close friends , brief and generic hobbies [songwriting, reading books] mention :3 ♪┆word count : 3.3k ♪┆warnings : very cutesy very demure very mindful

happy lino day !

Y/n had always loved the rain. 

It poured over the town like a soft lullaby, softening the edges of buildings and trees, cloaking everything in a quiet serenity that calmed her restless heart. 

Oh, how it fell without hesitation, bold yet calming, casting a peaceful blur over the colors around her. It was as though every droplet held a piece of the town’s secrets, whispering them in hushed tones to anyone who dared to listen.

In the university’s library, her thoughts floated with the rhythm of the rain against the glass, far from the textbook that lay open but untouched before her. The shelves towered around her, each one a guardian of knowledge, but her attention drifted, flitting like a restless bird. 

She watched as droplets cascaded down the window beside her, blurring the shapes of people passing outside and muting the lively colors of umbrellas. The town outside seemed softer, wrapped in a cocoon of gray mist.

The lady was a bright spark against this stillness, a warmth that radiated quietly as her gaze followed the streaks of rain across the windowpane. 

She fidgeted with a loose thread on her beige sweater, flipping her pen in her fingers, letting her mind wander. 

The quiet library seemed to mirror another person’s presence beside her — calm and steady, unruffled by her little flares of energy that rippled across the tranquility.

It had been pouring for nearly an hour, the soft patter of water on the library windows a soothing backdrop to his quiet focus. 

Minho’s focus, unwavering and cool, contrasted her own, a constant rhythm in the background of her daydreams. He sat across from her at their usual table, bent over his notes with a slight frown as he tried to concentrate on the assignment. He was meticulous, reading every line twice, tapping his pen in a steady rhythm. 

Her, on the other hand, had long since given up pretending to work.

She was stretched out in her chair, head tipped back as she lazily flipped through a book she wasn’t really reading. Every so often, she would sigh dramatically, looking over at the guy with big, pleading eyes, hoping he’d say something to break the monotony.

He didn’t look up. Instead, he fixed his glasses, pushing the thin, black frame up the bridge of his nose. 

“You’re not helping by sighing every five seconds, you know.”

“Maybe I would help if it wasn’t the most boring assignment in the universe,” she whined, drumming her fingers on the table.

He rolled his eyes, still focused on his paper. “Just do your part, and it’ll be done faster.”

“Or,” she frowned, glancing around as if conspiring, “I could just watch you do it. You’re so good at it, Min.” She tilted her head, giving him a teasing smile.

He gave her a blank stare. “Flattery won’t make me finish your work too.”

With a defeated sigh, she pushed herself out of the library’s velvet chair, eyes lighting up as she spotted the vending machine near the exit. 

“Okay, well… at least let me get us some snacks. We both need a break.”

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered, eyes never leaving his notes.

The girl practically skipped over to the machine, fumbling for change in her bag. 

She pressed a few buttons, deciding on snacks, but after a clunky whirr, the machine swallowed her coins without dropping anything. 

She tapped it, then tapped it again, her brows furrowing as she gave the machine a light kick.

Oh screw you, stupid machine. 

From across the room, the only other guy looked up, already smirking. 

“You’re going to break it.”

She turned, shooting him a mock glare with a dissatisfied frown. 

“It literally swallowed all my pennies? It owes me a snack!”

He snorted, barely hiding his annoyance yet nonchalance. “That’s the third machine you’ve broken this semester. Weren’t you banned from them by the council president or something?”

“You mean Jihoon? Please, he was only making small talk.”She rolled her eyes, turning back to the machine to shake it gently. “I just have bad luck with vending machines. They hate me.”

“Maybe they’re scared of you,” he hugged, finally leaning back in his chair, watching her with a smirk, his arms folding behind his head. “They know you’re trouble.”

She gasped, turning back to face him with feigned hurt. “You’re mean.” 

“Maybe I won’t share my snacks with you now.”

He rolled his eyes, switching back to work. “Like I asked for them in the first place.”

“Oh, I know you’ll want them,” she replied, sticking her tongue out at him before giving the machine one last exasperated look. 

She returned to their table empty-handed, pouting as she flopped back into her seat.

“Done causing a scene?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he glanced over his notes at her.

“Done ignoring me?” she replied back, folding her arms with a small huff. 

But even as she pouted, she was smiling, knowing full well that he was secretly enjoying every second of her company, even if he pretended otherwise.

“Can you try to focus for like at least five minutes without moving around?”

“Fine,” she said, leaning her chin on her hand, staring at him rather than her paper. 

She watched him as he scribbled notes, his brows drawn together in concentration, glasses fogging up slightly as he breathed out in annoyance, his lips pressed into a faint line. 

For all his grumbling, he was focused, diligent, and..

Oh, so attractive. 

There was something calming about watching him work, even if she’d never let him know how much she admired him.

She lost track of time until her gaze drifted toward the window. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the rain pouring down, after having paused for a few minutes, the drops streaking the glass and creating a soft, blurred glow in the library.

“It’s raining again,” she whispered, more to herself than him.

“Yeah?” He didn’t look up, his voice absent-minded.

“Mhm!” She beamed, getting up from the chair to walk towards the closed window a few steps away. 

The window was slightly foggy from the inside because the dew. Seeing that, her fingers immediately found their way onto the glass, drawing patterns. 

It was as if all her worries were just.. gone, for that time. As if she was a child once again. 

It was raining, and she was experiencing it again with the guy. 

The same guy that had never left her side.

The same rainy day with him that marked into one of her favourite days. 

Because it was with that same guy that she fell in love with.

Then her focus was interrupted when she heard his voice again.

“Done admiring the weather, pretty? You’ve got an assignment to finish.”

She felt his eyes on her, and it drew her back to reality. Her ears turned red almost instantly, then she was turning with an embarrassed face. “You were staring.” She mumbled, skipping back over to the table. 

“Yeah, I was. You noticed?”

“What?” Her eyes widened, pupils dilating a bit, as she sat back down, hiding her gaze into the notebook. 

“Nothing.” He grinned. 

Sigh.

‘You noticed?’ 

Sorry, is he seriously flirting with me right now?

Does he even know the control he has on my heart?

Might fall off a cliff you guys ; i’m done with this sappy monologue. 

Moving on. 

“Minho, do you ever think about how every raindrop is like… a little memory? Like, it falls from the sky, touches the ground, and just… disappears.”

“But for that second, it’s part of something bigger, you know?”

The guy simply blinked at the randomness and suddenness of the excitement. 

Barely lifting his gaze from his notes, he replied, “Right.. Raindrops with memory loss. Very poetic.”

Ignoring his remarks, she continued, leaning forward. “No— like think about it! Like, the rain touches everyone’s life at least once. We’re all connected by it in a way.” She paused, “Don’t you think that’s amazing?”

“Fascinating,” he murmured, not missing a beat, though she could see the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

Undeterred by his lack of ‘enthusiasm’, the girl professionally yapped on. 

“And then, once the rain dries up, it’s like it leaves a little piece of itself behind. Kind of like how memories leave marks on us even when the moment’s gone.”

Minho finally looked up, shaking his head as he looked at her with squinted eyes. “Only you would find romance in rain puddles.”

“Hey, maybe I am, it’s.. deep, I guess. You’re just a boring cynic, Minho. No imagination.”

“Or maybe I just save my imagination for things that don’t involve the simplest scenes of life.” He gave her a look, but his smile softened as he watched her.

“Simplest but prettiest.”

“And, oh, today in class, the english professor went on this entire rant about using semicolons correctly, and I swear he’s obsessed. Every time someone writes a comma instead, it’s like they’ve committed a crime.”

He simply nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips, letting her continue without interruption. 

Her words flowed like the rain, nonstop and bright, filling the air between them. She was all sunshine, chattering about everything and nothing at once, her eyes lighting up with each new tangent.

“Dude and— did you know,” she leaned closer, “that the library has a secret stash of old, out-of-print books? Like, they’re hidden on a shelf way in the back. I found one with all these handwritten notes in the margins. It’s like someone’s personal journal was left behind.”

The overachiever just listened, nodding and throwing in a casual “Really?” or “No way,” watching her grow more animated with each word. 

He wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying; but, he was captivated by the way she said it. Her hands gestured wildly, her eyes sparkled, and her whole face lit up. 

She was mesmerizing, an endless source of energy and light.

Eventually, her words started to trail off, and her lids grew heavy, her sentences getting slower and softer. 

“And earlier when I was at the park, I followed this little dragonfly.. who kept circling around.. me.. “

She slumped forward, head resting on her folded arms, a sleepy smile lingering on her lips, “..and it lead me deeper into the garden..”

And with a yawn, she drifted off. Minho sat there, unfazed, quietly watching her, his gaze softening with affection. 

The rain outside continued its gentle rhythm, as if lulling her into a peaceful sleep.

He leaned back, letting his pen fall silently to the table, and took a long, steady look at her. Her brown hair cascaded over her arms, and her expression was calm, completely at peace. There was a faint smile still tugging at the corners of her mouth.

With a fond sigh, he gently reached for the soft strands of her hair that framed her face, pushing one behind her ear, then leaned back to simply watch her. 

The rain continued to fall, casting a soft glow over her face, and he knew this was one of those moments he’d hold onto forever.

His gaze only softened further as he watched her sleep, her breathing gentle and even, the faintest rise and fall of her shoulders barely noticeable in the soft light of the library.

He tilted his head, studying the way her hair framed her face, how a the other few strands had fallen messily across her cheeks. 

There was something innocent in her stillness, like the world hadn’t yet touched her with its harsher edges. He had known her for years, through her loud days and quiet ones, but this — seeing her so open, so vulnerable, even in sleep — felt like a privilege, like he was witnessing a secret she didn’t even know she held. Although this may be the hundredth time he’s seeing her like this, but she never fails to lull him more each time. 

“Why do you have to be so.. stupidly adorable..?”

The words slipped out in a gentle whisper, almost swallowed by the rain. His gaze fixed onto her face, tracing each curve, the eyelids, the eyelashes, the nose, the pink lips. 

But immediately as he realised, he froze, his eyes darting to her face, heart pounding in sudden panic. 

Had she heard him? 

Her breathing remained even, her lips barely parted in sleep, and his own breath released in a silent sigh of relief.

Minho leaned back, exhaling, his eyes drifting over her with a gaze that was softer, deeper. He knew he was gone for her — completely and utterly. 

No amount of teasing or sarcasm could hide it, especially not now, as he sat in this dim, cozy corner of the library with only her and the rain to keep him company.

He felt a quiet ache settle in his chest, the kind that was bittersweet. This was the girl who had grown up by his side, whose love for books and late-night study sessions was matched only by her passion for music, her endless playlists and handwritten lyrics tucked between notebooks. 

She was everything he admired and everything he was afraid to lose, wrapped into one.

His fingers reached out instinctively, but he stopped, hand hovering just above her resting one. 

He could imagine her waking up to his touch, the way she’d crinkle her nose and blink sleepily, maybe even tease him for “staring like a lovesick fool,” which was exactly what he was — but that’s not the point. 

He couldn’t help it, though; her light pulled him in every time, scattering his carefully guarded walls like raindrops hitting a still lake.

But instead of waking her, he let his hand drop gently, leaning back to watch her for a moment longer, his heart a little fuller, a little softer, because of her. 

And only her. 

She’d wake up soon, annoying and bright, blinding the eye, and he’d be ready with another roll of the eyes, heartstrings tugging down. 

Yet deep down, in a place he never let her see, he knew the truth; that she was his every reason, his brightest light in all the dim places.

And as the rain drizzled down, casting faint reflections across the window, he knew that for him, every raindrop from here on out would hold a little bit of her.

— 

Y/n had always loved the rain. 

To her, it wasn’t just water cascading from the sky but a reminder of everything raw and alive in the world. 

The clouds, heavy with unshed emotions, poured out their burdens as if inviting her to do the same. 

There was a release in it, a beauty. She could stand in it, close her eyes, feel it washing over her, and for a moment, all her worries would dissolve.

So, when the downpour was still continuing while she and Minho were done at the university’s grand library, she didn’t reach for her umbrella like he did. 

There they were, standing at the entrance of the library, once again, and she stepped out on to the wet cobblestone path. 

Her eyes drift upward to watch the raindrops falling from the grey skies. 

A soft smile tugged at her lips as she tilted her head back, letting the rain soak her skin, drenching her clothes and weighing her hair down. 

She laughed — a light, airy sound that blended with the rhythm of the rain.

Minho, on the other hand, was leaning against the pillar of the library’s entrance, watching her. 

He sighed, fidgeting with the buttons of his umbrella, opening it with a click and stepping out as well. He raised an eyebrow, holding it over his own head, while the raindrops danced off its edges.

“Are you seriously gonna stand and dance there like an idiot?”

“Yes,”

Unfazed, the girl twirled around, arms open to embrace the downpour. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s wet,” he grumbled, his lips curling into a barely-there smirk as he watched her spin, her joy illuminating her like a halo under the dim light of the streetlamps. 

But the sight of her so lost in the rain, so… free, it did that thing to his chest — once again. 

She stepped out of the umbrella’s reach, that he tried to cover her with, ignoring the way he shook his head at her. 

“You could at least try to enjoy it,” she said, smiling. Her eyes sparkled, glancing at him over her shoulder, as if daring him to join her.

He rolled his eyes, holding the umbrella closer to himself as if it were a shield from her infectious energy. “Enjoy what? Getting sick? No thanks.”

“Suit yourself.” She shrugged, but she was still smiling as she returned to her little rain dance, not caring how soaked she was getting. 

Each step she took felt lighter, and she almost forgot Minho was even there, watching her from under the safety of his umbrella.

And he was watching her, unable to look away. 

She looked… ethereal, like something out of a dream he’d be too proud to admit he’d had. The way her laugh rose above the rain, soft and unburdened, made his heart ache in a way he would never, ever admit to anyone.

But he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t do something. With a resigned sigh, he closed the umbrella, letting the rain drench him in an instant. 

“You’re such a pain, you know that?” he muttered, striding over to her with a faux scowl on his face, shuddering slightly at the contact of the cold droplets hitting over his figure. 

She paused mid-spin, startled to find him suddenly standing in the rain with her. 

“Minho, what are you doing? You’ll get soaked!”

“It’s a little late for that, genius,” he deadpanned, shoving his now-useless, foldable umbrella into his pocket. 

But his eyes softened as he looked at her, something unspoken hidden behind his steady gaze.

Her laughter quieted, her gaze locking with his in the middle of the rain-soaked street. 

There was a weight in his stare, something she couldn’t quite name. “I thought you hated getting wet?”

“I do,” he replied, his voice low, rough around the edges. “But… sometimes you make it hard to stick to my rules.”

She felt her cheeks warm despite the chill of the rain, her heart thudding in her chest. “Oh yeah? And what rule am I breaking now?” She paused in her tracks, staring at him right back. 

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he just held her gaze, studying her with that intense look that always left her breathless. 

His hand came up, almost on its own, brushing a raindrop from her cheek with the back of his fingers, lingering just a second too long. 

He cleared his throat, pulling his hand back quickly as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“Never mind,” he mumbled, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “It’s nothing.”

She bit back a smile, savoring the rare vulnerability in his expression. “You’re really something, you know that?”

“Oh, shut up,” he grumbled, but there was no bite in his voice, only a soft resignation. 

He reached down, taking her hand in his own, his fingers gentle but firm around hers. 

“You’re going to catch pneumonia if you stay like this for longer.”

She blinked, startled by the sudden contact. 

But Minho just kept walking, his fingers still laced with hers as they stepped through the rain-soaked street, side by side. Her heart stuttered, a thousand questions running through her mind, but she didn’t say a word. 

She was content just to feel the warmth of his hand in hers, even if he’d never admit why he did it.

As they walked together, silent but for the rain, she glanced at him, catching a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he stared straight ahead. For all his complaints, for all his grumbling, he was still here with her, getting drenched in the rain simply because she loved it.

And that, she realised, was more than enough.

a/n. ୨ৎ

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVEEE happy lino day :<< SORRY FOR THE LATE POST !! 😞 if u liked this lmk by commenting or liking <333 thank you for reading >< !! also just fine chp 8 is coming tmr ! — love, yani ♥︎

thank you for the dividers! ♡︎ @adornedwithlight

[atinyniki]

flowers and confessions.

group: stray kids !

pairing: nonidol!bangchan x f!reader

genre: fluff, pinch of angst

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, reader and chan are both whipped for eachother, chan is referred to as channie, yeji of ITZY and changbin have a crush on eachother in this au for the sake of the plot (NOT SHIPPING), reader and yeji are roommates, love confessions, college au, reader and chan like cooking together.

authors note: this is something i was doing with a friend of mine at uni a year back but he had a gf </3 i never ended up confessing, so i decided to make this story a happy ending :) this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 3733

“and she’s more of a tulip girl than a rose girl. got that?”

“yes ma’am”, chan chuckles nervously.

“listen to me chan. you’re a good man, and i know if she gives you a chance she’ll give in eventually. just… please don’t fuck it up.”

chan nods his head slowly, processing what she’s said to him. “okay, i’ll try my best not to. thank you, yeji”

she nods, escorting chan out of her home. 

‘what could i do…?’, chan thinks to himself. the walk his dorm isn’t all that time consuming, but it feels even longer with the thoughts of you plaguing his mind. 

the envelopes on his desk seem to strike up an idea. you guys are best friends, he doesn’t want to ruin anything of course. so… why not confess anonymously?

“like… love letters? from a secret admirer?”, changbin asks incredulously.

“yeah… im sure she’ll tell me about the letters and then… i can ask if she likes them. you know?”

changbin sighs, staring at chans lovestruck face. “you do you. i don’t need any letters because… i’ve got these.”, changbin says as he points to his biceps and wiggles his eyebrows. “shut up bin”, chan chuckles.

he quickly goes back to his room, writing the first letter as an opening. he quickly writes the letter, placing it in an envelope and closing it with a red wax stamp.

the excitement was getting to him, he had a hard time sleeping that night.

“seriously…?”, yeji stares at him, completely unamused.

“what… is it bad?”

“dude. i give you all of that info, and you use it for love letters?”

chan sheepishly nods at her. he knows it’s crazy, but he just doesn’t want to say anything face to face yet. you’re such great friends already, he’s afraid that he’ll ruin things.

“yeji, listen. this way, if i ask her about the letters and she says they’re weird or something, i won’t have to handle direct rejection. she would never know it was me.”

yeji seems to be understanding this more now. “ah… i see. go on then, make sure to make them super sappy. she loves that… for some reason.”, she rolls her eyes.

chan bows quickly, rushing to his next class. he can’t stand being late to this one. it’s his favorite class, not because of the subject, but because of you. seeing your face and being able to sit next to you brightens up his mondays every time. 

you watch as he makes his way up the stairs, a small smile on his face. “hey chan”

“hey”, he says with a smile.

he takes a seat next to you, the warmth emitting from his body. you love that you can sit next to your best friend first thing in the morning, especially in the winter. 

your professor walks in, and you both immediately focus on your work. mr. bae is no joke. chan makes small talk with you of course, as much as he possibly can without being scolded by your professor. he’s been caught too many times for him to be let off easy this time around. 

class ends not too long after, meaning the two of you have to part ways for now. it’s okay though, you always hang out outside of school anyways.

you make your way to your locker to put away some things before your next class. you don’t have much time, but luckily the class is in the same hall. 

you open the locker and put away your things, but something catches your eye. a beautiful pink tulip, placed nicely on top of a white envelope. there’s a cute heart on the wax seal, and you’re careful not to rip the envelope while you open it.

you begin to read the letter, a pink hue spreading across your cheeks as you process the words. your heart flutters in your chest, knowing that someone thinks about you in this way.

you don’t think your smile is all that special, but this person definitely thinks otherwise. you quickly put away the envelope, reminding yourself to dry press the tulip later. 

all of a sudden, you’re smacked out of your thoughts. you run towards the hall. you’re definitely going to be late.

you arrive at chans with the ingredients, waiting for changbin to get back. you’re cooking his favorite today, so you’re very excited to see his reaction.

the tulip that your admirer gave you is pressed in between a stack of books, you plan on air drying and preserving it later. 

“who gave the flower?”, he asks with a smirk.

“oh… no one”, you reply shyly.

he continues to wiggle his eyebrows at you, causing you to shove him playfully. 

you and chan continue talking about some studies, when you hear changbin come in.

“chan?”

he stands in the doorway for a second, inhaling for a little while. he rushes to the kitchen when he smells it. “what is all this?”

“we decided to make your favorite tonight, help yourself. we’ll bring the danmuji out in a second”, you tell him.

he smiles so wide it almost reaches his eyes. “ooohhhh thank you thank you thank you! you did all this for meeeee?”, he says excitedly.

“it was all chans idea, thank him”, you chuckle.

changbin jerks his head towards chan, a cute pout on his face. “you did this for me channieee?”

chan stares at him for a little while before rolling his eyes. “no. why would i do it for you? shut up and eat now.”

you both knew it was all an act. as much as chan tried to pretend he hated changbin, you knew that it was just brotherly love.

“thanks chan”, he says with a smile.

chan can’t help but smile back.

you open your locker the next week to a black tulip, your heart sinking to your stomach.

you pick up the note, reading it quickly before you go to class. 

“don’t worry, nothings wrong. i just gave you a black tulip this time since i always see you wearing black clothes. i assumed it’s your favorite color.”, it read.

the note went on with the usual, except this time it was about your nose. you giggled to yourself, the words lingering in your mind for far too long. your heart flutters in your chest thinking about who could possibly be writing these.

you run to class, afraid you’ll be late. you lost track of time reading the note, but you don’t regret it. not one bit.

you hope he’ll reveal himself soon.

“mmhhh noo…”, you whine.

chan giggles a little, pulling you closer into his embrace for a second. “i really need to go to the bathroom y/n…”

“you’re warm though…”

chan takes your hand in yours, “i’ll only be a minute. besides, you have the blanket.”

you nod, watching him go and sitting in the spot on the couch where he previously sat. the seat was warm still, almost enough to pull you into a slumber.

chan quickly locks himself in the bathroom, his heart beating almost a thousand times a second. why did he do that? why did he hold your hand… oh gosh. his entire face is red, he tries to wash it away. it doesn’t work.

maybe it’s his fault for sitting so close to you in the first place, but he can’t deny that he enjoyed it. he wants to be in your embrace forever. 

“gosh… this is beautiful.”, you whisper to yourself. the note contained a little poem about your eyes this time. you didn’t think they had much effect on anyone.

you pick up the red tulip, admiring it for a moment before placing it back in your locker inbetween some tissues and a stack of books. you enjoyed pressing them.

that way, if you were to ever find your secret admirer, you could keep the memories of your feelings.

wait… feelings? do you like this guy? you don’t even know what he looks like! maybe they’re just… shy?

you never thought for once that a man would be too shy to see someone like you of all people. you’re not really all that special in your opinion, but surely there was more to you that this guy sees.

maybe you could go searching for him…

“you really like pressing those damn tulips.”

you chuckle nervously, “yeah… they’re really pretty”

chan is surprised you haven’t told him anything yet, but he makes sure not to push you. he doesn’t want to let anything slip.

chan sits back down on your bed, admiring you for a bit while you talk about some things that happen at school.

“and she’s been- she… why are you looking at me like that?”, you ask. the look on his face has you tripping on your words, oddly flustered.

“huh? o-oh… um.”, he stutters, afraid he’s made things awkward. he tries to think of an excuse quickly, “you still have a little sauce on your cheek.”

embarrassed, you wipe a bit at your cheek, trying to wipe the sauce that wasn’t even there in the first place. suddenly, chan speaks up. “i’ll get it.”

he scoots incredibly close to you, stroking your cheek and “wiping away the sauce”. your eyes widen, cheeks turning a bright red.

chan seems to notice, smirking at you again and wiggling his eyebrows. you scoff playfully, flicking his forehead causing him to recoil.

“heyyy! what was that for”, he says with a fake pout. you can only giggle at his antics, running a thumb over his forehead to ease the pain. 

you continued going on about the girl in your class, ignoring the way chans close proximity made you feel.

“what the hell?”

the note came with a baby blue tulip this time, writing about how your voice makes his day. ‘so he knows me…’, you think to yourself.

maybe you two share a class or two. either way, you’re determined to find out. this time, you write a note in your locker for him to read the next week. 

it’s a simple note, not as cute as his are. the only thing it asks is if you two share a class.

you hope he notices it next time, it’d be a shame if he didn’t. you place the note in your locker and quickly run back to class.

now that you think of it, he must have a class in the same hall as you since he always gets to your locker in the morning. maybe he’s in your first class. 

wait. why are you so eager to know? gosh, how are you falling for someone when you don’t even know who they are? 

“oh come onnn, please?”

“jeez, why do you wanna know so bad?”

“becauseee… you seem so happy when you get these flowers. do you finally have a boyfriend?”

you shoot him a look, shutting him up immediately. “what do you mean, “finally”? i’ve had many boyfriends before”, you say while shaking your head. 

chan laughs beside you, causing you to laugh a little bit too. “well, the truth is, i don’t know who these flowers are coming from. someone puts them in my locker every monday with a love letter…”

chan looks at you, wide eyed. he fakes his surprise, “wait… you have a secret admirer?!”, he giggles.

“yeah… i guess i do”, you smile.

you turn your head to look at him again, his boba eyes staring right at yours. you can’t help but think back to what the note about your eyes said. does chan see them the same way? do you… want him to see them the same way?

chan pulls you into an embrace when he sees the look in your eye. “well, hopefully he reveals himself soon”

your face is painted with a light blush again. how could you possibly be falling for two men at once?

why do feelings have to be so confusing…?

the weeks go by, different tulips and notes arriving in your locker every week. you’ve confirmed that you’re both in first period together, but that seems like the only clue you’re getting for a while.

each day, you press the flowers and place them in your special frame next to the decorative box, in which you place the letters.

your frame is just a blob of colors now, the ivory, purple, and crimson tulips popping out the most.

you’ve been meeting with chan a lot more recently for movie nights. you’ll have to admit, they’re really fun, but you’re finding it difficult to evaluate your feelings.

you’ve started to develop stronger feelings for chan, as well as your admirer. your heart is torn between the two. you don’t know who to choose. you dont even know if you can begin to choose.

how could you break their hearts?

you wake up early in the morning, surprised because you normally can’t seem to bring yourself to open your eyes. you nuzzle closer into the warm pillow, wondering why it feels so much better than usual.

“sleep well?”, chans voice revertibrates through your entire being. you pull your hands back, scooting away from him and looking up.

“wait… i- what the hell?”

“hey it’s not my fault! you were incredibly drunk, and you insisted i stay.”

“oh…”

“oh channie… please stay! i can’t sleep without you… you’re so warm”, he mocks you and laughs.

your eyes go wide, a hand clamped over your mouth in shock.

“i actually said that…?”, you hide your face in your hands. 

“no biggie”, he smiles.

you bury your face in your palms, embarrassed. you’re glad you didn’t let anything else slip out though. chan pulls you back into his embrace, drawing patterns on your back and laughing a little. 

“hey, seriously. it’s fine, i don’t mind keeping you company you know. your channie will always be here”, he giggles.

“shut. up.”, you reply, your voice muffled in his chest. 

you hear the door open, quickly jerking your head towards it. “you lovebirds done? i brought breakfast”, yeji smiles.

“yejiii” you whine, hiding your face again. chan gets out of bed, laughing again as he gets ready for the day.

“fuck…”, you mutter under your breath. it’ll be much easier to confess to chan right? you can confront him face to face, but with your admirer it’d be more difficult.

what if they’re just joking around? if you confess, the tulips will stop. you’ll have no more notes to keep in your box. but then again, if you do confess, there’s a high chance of the both of you ending up together.

there’s no way chan likes you, but you really need to get it off your chest. you can’t pursue your admirer while still having feelings for chan, that’s not fair to him.

if chan is so excited about this admirer, there’s no way he could actually like you… right? fuck it.

you run over to chans dorm, changbin opens the door for you. “y/n? chans not home right now, sorry.”

“yeah i know… i was um- i was meaning to talk to you actually.”

“oh! come in”, he says with a smile.

you explain the whole thing in depth to changbin, even your feelings for the two boys. changbin laughs to himself, ‘what has he gotten himself into?’, he thinks.

changbin doesn’t even seem to notice that tears are leaving your eyes. he quickly grabs your hand, running his thumb over it. “hey, i’m sure nothing bad will happen if you confess to chan. he loves you too much to let you go just because of a crush.”

“no but that’s the thing changbin! it’s not just a crush- i love him. i love the both of them. and i don’t know who to choose, or how to tell them, because it’s not fair to date one without telling the other and…”, you trail off.

“just tell chan you love him. and if you really want to win him over, tell him while you’re cooking or baking together or something.”

“what? why?”

“just do it, trust me.”

you nod, continuing to plan out your confession with changbin. you figure out how you’re going to confess, you hope chan will enjoy having his favorite dish.

“i should tell yeji about this too, she’ll probably have some advice.”

changbin goes silent, thinking about what else you could do. you notice the way his face goes red at the mention of your roommate.

hopefully he’ll confess too.

“i brought everything… what’s the occasion though?”

“you’ll see”, you say with a smile. 

you both make your way to the kitchen, smiling along the way. of course your nervous, but it’s a lot easier when you have his reassuring smile.

it seems to be something that always puts you at ease, it’s one of the reasons you love him so much. you feel so safe with him. 

you guys work on dinner, smiling and giggling the entire time. “that damn coral tulip really put you in a good mood hm?”

you chuckle a little, “hm, yeah”, you beam at him. hold on… did you tell him about the coral tulip? “wait… how do you know about the tulip”

“huh?”, chan seems to be confused, but then his eyes go wide. he realizes his mistake immediately, but he doesn’t know what to do.

“chan… i never told you anything about the tulip. how did you know what color it was?”

he opens his mouth to say something, but it won’t come out. “i…”, the lump in his throat rises more, cutting off his air flow. he’s seconds away from hyperventilating.

“channie, was it you the entire time?”

tears well up in his eyes, he didn’t want it to happen like this. he planned a whole reveal for you, and now it was all ruined.

you quickly turn off the stove, walking over to chan. you’re being careful not to scare him away, a smile on your face. “it’s you isn’t it?”

he nods softly, some tears escaping his eyes. “i’m sorry…”

you cup his cheek with your hand, wiping away the tears on his cheek. “can i…?”

he nods, and you crash your lips into his. “i love you channie”, you say breathlessly. he grabs your waist, picking you up and setting you down on the island. he pulls away from the kiss and looks you in the eyes. 

“i love you so much y/n. i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you i was just… scared of ruining our friendship.”

“chan… i um. i didn’t- i don’t want you to think i kissed you just because of the letters. i was planning on confessing to you today but that just made it so much better”

chans eyes twinkled in the light, stunned by the sincerity in your voice. “y/n… i truly do love you a lot. i- thank you.”

you give him a quick peck on the nose, wiping away his tears again.

“so, you were making all this so you could um… confess?”

you nod shyly, averting his gaze. he giggles at how adorable you look right now, sitting on the kitchen island.

“what’s so funny chan?”

he picks you up once again, this time pinning you against the wall. your heart flutters again in your chest, the butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“no. not chan… i’m your channie”, he smiles at you, leaning in for another kiss. you enjoy the moment with him, but all of a sudden you stop.

“chan! we still have to make the food”

he looks at you, sets you down on the floor and then turns away from you. you’re a little confused by the sudden change in attitude, but then it hits you. 

“sorry dork, i meant channie”

he smiles at you again, helping you fix dinner.

“wow… first dinner with my girlfriend and we even cooked it together.”, your eyes widened. you were going to have to get used to chan calling you his girlfriend.

“wake the fuck up you two!”, yeji yells from her room.

you’re in the same position as last time, you face nuzzled into chans chest and your arms are wrapped around him. he’s holding you this time, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and stroking his fingers through your hair. 

suddenly, yeji barges in to see you two practically looking like a pretzel. “oh my gosh…”

chan continues running his fingers through your hair, not paying attention to yeji at all. “wait… really?!”, yeji says excitedly.

it seems like shes finally gotten the hint, and you reach up to give chan a little peck. you smile at yeji, watching her visibly gag. “you know, you couldn’t just said ‘oh yeah we’re dating now!’. you didn’t have to kiss him. gross…”

chan laughs a little, the sound being music to your ears. “hey, it’s not my fault”

“yeah yeah whatever. get ready, we’re going out with changbin.”

you turn your head towards yeji again. “changbin? why so?”

chan lifts his head from the pillow. “are you finally dating now?”, he asks excitedly.

“ew no… gross”, yeji says while rushing out the room, not wanting you to see the crimson red covering her face.

you open your locker, instantly met with a much bigger envelope. you quickly open it to read it, smiling to yourself as you do. you’re so glad that chan did all this.

you searched your locker again, looking at the floor to see if the tulip fell, but you couldn’t find one. you pouted a little, the tulips seem to be something you cherish a lot. just then, you hear chans voice behind you.

in his hand is a bouquet, all different assortments of tulips. he doesn’t say anything, he just gives you a kiss and heads off to his next class. 

you stare at him as he leaves, completely in awe. tears almost spring to your eyes, but you fight them off. quickly placing your bouquet in your locker, you run to your next class.

you make it there just on time, but before taking out your notebook, you grab your phone.

y/n: thank you channie :) channie <3: i hope you liked them :) y/n: of course i did! y/n: i love you channie <3 channie <3: i loved you first <3

<3

[odxrilove]

BIRTHDAY BOY (TEASER)

PAIRING: mingyu x f!reader

GENRE: fluff, friends to lovers, bday party!au? kinda confession!au, uni!au but not really mentionned

WARNINGS: , flirting, swearing, alchohol, drinking, one mention of being high (not yn or seventeen), etc typical party stuff, game of truth or dare, minghao is annoying x1 (jk), yn gets jealous a bit, yn and mingyu are in love ewwww, huge make-out session (borderline smut...) (JKKK. or am i), lots of tension + more?

WC: 440 for the teaser, +8.1k for the full fic

SYNOPSIS: It’s Mingyu’s birthday party, and Hoshi lets something out under the influence of alcohol. Apparently, you have two gifts prepared for him– completely throwing out the one-gift tradition your friend group strictly follows. However, Hoshi’s a liar — and a bad one at that — but it’s already too late. Even though Mingyu knows he’s supposed to be excited about all the gifts he’s receiving tonight, he’s (not so surprisingly) only interested in everything you’re giving him.

A/N: this was supposed to be a cute short drabble for his bday but exams happened and suddenly i found myself writing 8k of tension during summer break. rec song - i dont understand but i luv u by seventeen 

FIC TAGLIST: @etherealyoungk @simpforyongbokk @luvhyun3 @haew0nz comment or ask/send an ask to be tagged!

back to masterlist !

THE FULL FIC IS OFFICIALLY OUT !

Mingyu hums, raising his head to look at the end of the hallway, where the door to the balcony is situated. When he returns his gaze to you, he tilts his head cutely, licking his lips. “You wanna wait by the balcony? I told the guests not to go on there too much so that i won’t get a noise complaint from the neighbors. I think it’s safe if you go there.” 

With a smile, you nod at Mingyu, “yeah, that would be great. Thanks.” You place one of your hands on the wall next to the kitchen before leaning in so he hears you better over the music. “Don’t die in there by the way! We haven’t even gone to Iceland yet like we planned to years ago– it would be a waste for you to miss out on our extravagant bucket list, right?”

Mingyu’s laugh fills your ears, the sound making you smile from ear to ear. “C’mon, who do you take me for? Seok– Oh sorry.” Mingyu cuts himself off, lifting his two hands in the air with one still holding all the shot glasses. The girl, who just bumped into Mingyu, and who you recognize as one of your classmates from your major, pushes her hair behind her ear, blushing at your friend. 

Before she leaves, she mumbles a few words, but the music is way too loud for you to make out what it was, and then she’s gone. 

You don’t pay too much attention to it, as does Mingyu, who’s already back to look at you. It’s not the first and certainly not the last time someone is going to bump into one of you two at his party. 

“Sorry, what were you saying?” You turn back to Mingyu, crossing your arms and making the silver necklace you’re currently wearing shine even more under the flashy led lights. 

“Ah, sweetheart, you never listen do you?” Mingyu brings his free hand up to your jaw, tapping on the underside of your chin with his index finger. “I said, you need to stop biting your lips when you’re nervous. They’re too pretty for that.” 

You can’t speak, your entire vocabulary having left your body. His hand then turns to cup the underside of your jaw, his thump grazing over your bottom lip, ultimately smudging a bit of your lipgloss. Your mouth falls open a bit at the shock but he doesn’t stop. “A pretty color.. for pretty lips. Suiting.” His thumb sweeps one last time over your lip before he retreats into the kitchen. 

“Wait for me by the balcony, I'll grab our drinks for us.” 

general taglist: @0x1lovebot @fairybinie @blaqpinksthetic @odetoyeonjun @pockyandme @soobin-chois @soobisms @junityy @kaimal @laylasbunbunny @jaeyunverse @enhacolor @honglynights @starry-mins @bibinnieposts @raevyng @yoonzin0 @hoeforcheol @pearlygraysky @4xiaojun

please do not copy, repost or steal any of my work. all content belongs to @odxrilove

[holymountdias]

Love triangle pt. 1

Erling Haaland x (fem)reader, (mention of Jadon Sancho)

Summary: A past relationship of yours broke you to the point that you weren’t being yourself anymore, but what happens when your ex’s best friend takes interest in you and he helps you take revenge. Will it all be just a game for you or become more than friends?

Word count: 3.7k

Notes: angst, smut, fluff

PARTS: 1.0 2.0 3.0

You were lazily laying on your bed along with your best friend, both scrolling through your phones with no words being exchanged as you were too bored and had nothing really to talk about. The past month was only filled with stress and bad mentality as uni and life was challenging you to the fullest with the only interesting part of the day being when you were going to sleep or eat. You had no energy to go out hence why you were currently laying around on a Friday night at your house, instead of being somewhere outside “enjoying life”.

“i swear to God if i see another story of someone from our class at the club, i’m gonna go insane” you kept listening to her complaints the past hour and you only hummed uninterested in response not really taking her seriously.

You sense her eyes on you after that but you still give no reaction to it, until you feel her move around on the mattress and the next thing you know your phone disappears from your hands. You turn your head to the side to glance at your friend annoyingly only to meet with an ironic grin.

"We need to go out” she suddenly blurts out and you groan out in frustration

“ i don’t want tooo, i look and feel like shit can’t we just stay in?’’ you whine out in protest as you move to lay on your side down before closing your eyes as well.

“Noway i’m going to let you sulk in your room for the millionth time this month; besides if i remember correctly you have already been invited to some fancy ass party’’ she responds, while emphasizing the last part with a different tone.

“Its just Jadon’s birthday he won’t judge me if i don’t make an appearance and i’m pretty sure he just asked me cause he is friends with my brother and just wanted to be polite’’

“oh shut up as if he hasn’t been texting you since you two met’’ she says, making you huff out.

To be truly honest you would also like to believe your friend’s little romance scenario as well, since Jadon Sancho was one of the few people in the football field that stood out to you after meeting them.

You were introduced to him through your brother, the infamous Mason Mount, after a football match since they were both playing for the England team at that time.

You soon found yourself spending like an hour with the both of you leaning against the wall in a random corridor inside the stadium building, throwing jokes and opening up about your lives.

You ended up exchanging numbers and socials and from then on you would text each other from time to time. You didn’t know what to expect from him, after all he was a football player with a busy schedule and quite the following when it came to girls, so you just never took anything seriously that came from him; not the teasing, not the random compliments when you posted a story on your ig, not the time he asked you to hang out that you might or might not rejected cause you were scared that he just wanted you for sex; quite the frequent habit for all the footballers but you weren’t up for that. Not after what happened with him. So in other words even if he indeed was interested in you at first he couldn’t still be after all this time, right?

“If you met him too you would know he is friendly to everyone” you open your eyes to look at her seriously and she just smiles devilishly at you.

“Well if it won’t be about Jadon tonight, i’m sure Erling will be, he will be there right??” she asks persistently.

“probably…”

“Perfect” she speaks loudly and gets off the bed quickly heading towards your closet.

“Y/F/N NO’’ you try to protest but with no results as she looks determined to get you ready for the party tonight.

“ok so dress or skirt?”

You sit up in your bed before brushing your hand through your hair in frustration. 

“I seriously don’t want to see him.”

“fuck….faster..”

He started thrusting in faster at once as his grip around your hips tightened, almost making it hurt. The combination of pain and pleasure made your pussy pulse around him and you heard him let out a groan in reaction.

You kept moving your hands in front of you on top of the vanity as if you were trying to get away; your mind was driven by the ecstasy while your eyes were closed and your mouth slightly open as quite whimpers kept escaping from you.

Suddenly you felt his upper front being pressed against your back as he leant his face down, resting it beside your face, his mouth touching your ear while his breaths brushed against it.

“Look at the mirror baby”

You obeyed to his words and first thing you saw is his darken gaze on you, how he eyed you like a starved animal and you were his prey. His thrusts slowed down but you felt his whole body moving against your body in such way that he somehow hit deeper inside you. You were so turned on, that your whimpers became loud moans but were quickly muffled by Erling’s hand as he covered your mouth with it.

“shut up”

Your lower back arched as you felt his other hand grabbing your ass and then spanking it a few times, his face once again turned towards your face, close to your ear as he kept talking dirty to you.

“do you want to get us caught baby? do you want all the people in the house to come and see what a slut you are for me? how much you love my cock and fuck you with it? hmm?”

His voice was driving you wild, making you tilt your head from the back to the side, your eyes closed once again, as he traced his mouth lower towards your neck, slightly sucking on it.

You could sense your climax nearing but he already knew that by how much your walls were tightening around him so he moved his hand around you, placing his long fingers on top of your clit as he started playing with it while his thrusts turned into pounding.

“Cum for me baby” 

Your body automatically started shaking from your intense orgasm but he kept holding you close to his body til you were calm again but right afterwards his own orgasm started coming through, since your climax triggered his too.

You knew this man for a about 5 months and he somehow managed to have you wrapped up around him with his generous, charming and affectionate character and of course his handsome looks.

Damn everybody could see how much different he was compared to all those snobbish and stuck up footballers and you admired that for him. You first met him at a club where your dearest brother held a party for his birthday celebration and couldn’t you have thanked him enough.

You kept throwing glances at each other from afar but none of you actually came up to introduce yourselves until it was time for you to leave but your ride had ditched you up for someone else and what more perfect time for him to appear like your prince, offering you a safe ride home.

Now in a normal occasion you wouldn’t accept because obviously, stranger danger, but you were slightly drunk and your mind was driven with interest to get to know this man. So you did and it was great and you thought that you would never regret it til you did…Long story short after the ride he asked for your number to your surprise and you did give him it.

There was so much attraction between you two that quickly turned into sexual tension and soon enough you would both be testing it out. You never really discussed about labels but he treated you in such a way that he made it seem as if he was serious.

He took you out on dates, gave you his flannel, invited you to his matches to watch him playing, he would take care of you in every way possible. And of course everything in secret from the public and your brother and everyone else from your inside circle.

Basically you were the only ones who knew. So here you were at your brother’s house that he held a party at and you were fucking in one of his bathrooms behind everyone’s back. And everything was perfect or so you thought..

He slowly pulled out of you but the motion still managed to take your breath away for a second as you adapted back to the emptiness inside you.

You turned around to stand against the vanity with your hands behind your back, to watch him as he cleaned himself up and discharged the condom away.

Right when he was done, he turned to look at you with a small grin on his face, before he came to stand right in front you, bending his body towards you with his hands gripping the counter behind, cornering you in between them.

“Hopefully nobody heard you or else i’m gonna have to deal with your brother”, he joked and you rolled your eyes; the corners of your mouth turning up.

“First of all there is a whole party going downstairs and secondly i wasn’t that loud Haaland”

“Is that so baby?”He whispered after he leaned closer above your face.

Your height difference had you tilting your head slightly backwards to look at him straight through his blue eyes with as much confidence as you could master up without getting flustered like a high school girl.

“Yes” you slowly muttered with your gaze fixed on his as if you were put under a spell, your pupils were dilated as you were filled in with lust once again and he loved it.

No matter how many times he would ruin you, you would still come back for more and couldn’t he be more happy to comply to your wish.

He shifted his hand right under your chin and raised your face towards his, your lips were so close that were almost brushing, but never touching and to your frustration that’s where he paused.

He just continued to observe you, looking at every little detail on your face, from your wet lips, to your rosy cheeks, to your sparkling eyes, to your messy hair. There was not a single thing he disliked on you, in fact he could see himself being with you in the feature as well but right now he knew the truth and the truth hurt.

His face frowned slightly for a mile second and that got you intrigued in what he possibly could be thinking.“What?” you questioned quietly snapping him out of his train of thoughts.

He just shook his head instead initiating that it was nothing, but before you could ask him again he closed the gap between you, pecking your lips gently as the palm of his hand cupped the side of your face.

“We should go” he muttered after a minute, shaking you out of your zone and you pouted in a teasing way in your effort to get him to change his mind. You had been in this bathroom for about half an hour and you knew that he was right, if you wanted to keep people out of suspicion, but it was getting hard for you sometimes to keep acting like strangers.

A corner of his mouth lifted as he reacted with amusement to your childlike way to convince him otherwise, but he just pecked your lips one last time before he started getting ready to leave and that seems like that was your answer.

A sigh of disappointment escaped you which gained you a chuckle from him but nonetheless you slowly started dressing back up ass well.

Just before he could open the door to go, your words stopped him in his tracks.

“When do you think we can tell the others?” he shifted around to look at you as you spoke again “You know…about us?” you stared at him; your eyes burning with both hope and anxiety for what his response was gonna be.

“Look i think we should keep it low for a little while more” you instantly felt your chest falling to your stomach, as your hopes crashed to the ground, your brows furrowed while sadness overcame you.

Instantly bad thoughts started filling in your mind like, was he not feeling the same? did he intend to have you hidden until he grew tired of you? were you just a plaything for him after all? His form standing right in front you had you snapped out of your thoughts; he picked up your face by the chin to make you look at him.

“Hey, stop thinking too much about it, i just- i just have a lot on my plate..with the team right now and bringing you to the public won’t be very helpful for me, like people are gonna start attacking you and then there is Mason, its juts not..easy right now.”

You nodded repeatedly as you tried to look understanding to what he told you while you forced your face to relax from your previous sad expression.

“No i get it, its a whole process and i can’t give you that kind of pressure right now.” You assured him and he just smiled at you affectionately. “You are not giving me any pressure baby, we are in this together alright?” you hummed in response and after he gave you a soft kiss on the cheek, he finally exited the room.

Once the door was closed you let out a sight of disappointment but also regret before brushing your fingers through your hair and taking a sit on the side of the bathtub, hanging your head low; your mind deep in thought once again.

On one side what he said made sense like your situation was not as easy and that could also be because of who your brother was but at the same time you couldn’t help but feel a bit sad that he didn’t want to take the next step and regret for even asking him for it in the first place. The last thing you wanted was to keep him out of focus from his job.

“Look i know what happened, but it needs to stop affecting you whenever you see him. Especially when there will always be a chance of you two coming across each other because of your brother.

So..” she picks up a satin dress from the hangers of your closet and shows it off to you, initiating for you to take it. “dress up girlie.”

No matter how much you wanted to protect your own feelings you know she is right and it is probably about time for you to move on, so what better sweet time to do it. You drag yourself clumsily from the bed and after your best friend gives you a heads up you take the dress from her to start preparing.

After you left the bathroom, you found yourself chatting with some girls from the party, including some football player’s girlfriends and although you didn’t know all of them, you were having fun. At some point you wanted to get a new drink so after excusing yourself from the group you headed towards the kitchen.

Before you were to go inside, you heard loud voices and laughter coming from the room, among some you could recognise, like Jack’s, Phill’s, John’s or Rice’s and some other guys, but you couldn’t tell who they were. The kitchen was a bit further from where the party and the loud music was taking place so the voices were clearer in this area of the house.

There was one voice in specific that made you want to stay behind and continue listening to what was being said in the room.

“Hey Haaland that was a long bathroom break dude” you heard someone say, as the rest of the group started laughing while he just shook his head in annoyance.

“Drop the act, what’s her name” the same voice asked causing the others to start questioning.

“I don’t know what you are talking about” Erling tried to deny but they all mocked his answer, knowing well that he was lying.

“Man, i saw you the other day with some blondie, was that her?” you heard Phill this time.

“No” he bluntly responded, but they started protesting for his lack of information.

“Drop the name man who is it?” Declan asks and all the guys around started agreeing.

“It’s no one, just a random one i met some time ago” he finally reveals, making the rest of the circle become loud with excitement once again.

“It’s nothing serious, we are just fucking” he quickly interrupts them, hoping that that will shut their noisy asses up but it wasn’t the case.

“Does she know about the other chick’s you have been fucking behind her back?” you hear Jack ask him and the room fills in with loud laughter once again.

“Not really”, he replied and the guys went wild.

“Yoo dude is it even serious like, are you going to tell her or?”

“Look i told you its nothing fucking serious, i’m just fucking with her for a little while and i move on, that’s it”, “I wouldn’t even care less if she found about the others, i can replace her anytime” he adds, making the group laugh out again.

You had heard enough.

You pushed the door open and entered the kitchen as the room soon went silent to see who it was.

“Hey Y/n” Declan was the first one to greet you and you greeted them all back with a plastered smile on your face, while avoiding the eyes of a particular person.

“What did i interrupt you guys from?” You asked them cheerfully as you headed towards the fridge to grab yourself another drink.

“Nothing we were just talking” someone spoke up and you leaned against the kitchen counter with your drink in your hand.

“Ohh i get it, hooks up of the week” you said with a small giggle and they agreed.

“Hey y/n did you perhaps catch a glimpse of a girl Erling was in the bathroom with, about an hour ago. He was locked up there for like half an hour and the guy tried to convince us that he was by himself.” Phill interjected this time and you looked at him with a knowing grin on your face, “no way, who was it?” Declan asked but you just shook your head slightly.

“Look guys, its not my place to say, but maybe Erling here, doesn’t want to share the name cause he forgot which one of his chicks was it.” your answer made Erling tense up more as he kept burning holes on you with his gaze the whole time you have been in the room. “Isn’t that right Haaland?” you ended up shifting your attention on him all of a sudden.

“Not the important one’s” he answered as the whole room burst in laughter,

“What are you saying dude, you literally admitted that she was just a plaything” Jack adds in the conversation making you grin lowkey sadly as you lowered your head for a second, but thankfully no one noticed.

“Oh how comforting it must be for her to at least remember her name then huh?” you spoke ironically; your words tasted like venom and he knew that cause they were directed towards him.

“Anyway guys, i gotta get back to my group, sorry that i couldn’t help you identify Haaland’s 4th chick of the week.” you joked once again but you knew that all jokes were on you in the end cause you were the one they were looking for, your were his plaything of the week or better say for the last five months, along with some other playthings of course, but for Haaland that was not worth being mentioned.

After you left the room you heard your name being called and you could tell it was him but you neither had anything more to say or even had the energy to talk to him for the rest of the night, especially when you were supposed to be celebrating your brothers birthday party.

“Y/N WAIT” you heard him yelling before he finally caught up with you and stopping you from walking any further, grabbing you by the arm and you turned your body around to look at him.

“Look i was going to tell you-”

“Oh really? i thought you wouldn’t care if i found out since you can replace me anytime” you cut him off by repeating his own words back in the kitchen, and he seemed to get more frustrated with the situation.

“No you don’t get it, i really lik-” before he can finish his sentence he got interrupted by people singing the birthday song and you both turn your heads to glance back in the main room where all the guests were gathered around a huge cake and your brother standing in the middle.

The sound was so much louder since you were closer to the party area now, making you frustrated as well. Nevertheless that was your signal to end this, cause you had more important things.

“It’s too late for that shit Erling, we are done, no buts” you finally said and you made a move to leave but he caught you again forcing you to look at him with pure anger in your eyes.

“I can fix this, give me another chance” he slowly says while the intimacy in his eyes burned into yours; when he grabbed you for the second time, he had managed to pull your body so close to his that even your faces were only a few centimetres apart.

“Have fun with your side chicks Haaland” you slowly muttered before looking at him one last time and after getting your hand out of his grip you hurriedly headed towards the celebration.

Your eyes were glistened as tears threatened to spill but you were quick to angrily wipe the corners of your eyes and hold yourself back from breaking down in front of a bunch of people. The only thought that clouded your mind was

How could you be so stupid?

[honeylations]

TAKAYA FUNA x FEM!READER

Prompt: Just you and Funa being an adorable uni couple <3

Warnings/Notes: reader is taller than Funa, both reader and Funa are the same age, reader is a sport major, Funa is a business major, soccer captain x popular girl

A/N: did this after fighting my mentality because Funa deserves the world and all my love

BRO SHES SO PRETTY STOPPPPPP T^T

———

“Are you even listening to me? Hello?! HWANG Y/N!!” Ruka had to rip out your right AirPod.

“Ow, what?” You grumbled at the shorter girl.

She returned the AirPod before sending you a stink eye. “Sometimes when I’m with you, I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall”

“I would’ve noticed your presence if you only grew a couple more inches, midget”

Ruka gasped dramatically and started throwing ‘hard’ punches at your shoulder, in which she had to go on her tip toes because of the height different.

“Quit picking on her, Y/n. You know she can’t fight” Moa came and slung an arm around Ruka who shoved her off.

“You both are unbelievable, and stop touching me!” The shortest hissed, fixing her hair that Moa ruffled.

“By the way Ruka, you’re still coming to me and Y/n’s soccer game tonight right?” Moa asked which sounded more like a plea.

“Yeah duh! I’m there to cheer on Iroha actually so cry about it”

“As long as you’re there” Moa shrugged. “Probably won’t even see you with your 4ft ass-OW!”

“I hate you!”

As the two continued to argue, your eyes drifted off to where your girlfriend was. Funa was sitting with Jiwoo, Moka, Yunah, and Youngseo at a table in front of the Uni’s cafe.

She had her hair down and curled at the ends, wearing a cropped v neck sweater and mini skirt, and paired with the white and pink dunks you gifted on her birthday. Her makeup was light but she still looked as beautiful as ever.

The morning light shone on her face like an angel, and although people don’t see it themselves, you do feel proud of being Takaya Funa’s girlfriend.

You met her last year when you found the poor girl sulking because the vending machine didn’t give her the KitKat bar, let alone return the cash. After admiring her adorable pout, you approached her and gave the vending machine a hard punch, thinking it would give her the beloved chocolate.

You didn’t expect the rest of the snacks to fall down AND the cash to be spat in your face. It was an embarrassing moment, especially in front of a pretty girl, but it was definitely memorable for Funa.

Turns out she was mutual friends with Jiwoo and you two got to see each other more outside of campus when Jiwoo organised outings.

That’s when you realised you fell for Funa and worked up the courage to confess to her after a movie date. To your surprise, Funa admitted she liked you back.

Funa was also super popular on campus, always volunteering in events despite her studies, getting great scores on all her assessments, and even being the leader of a fashion club where she used you as a model for her designs.

You on the other hand, you don’t really scream approachable. You kept this emotionless look on your face that scared a lot of students. Unlike Funa, you were somewhat known by others because of the Uni’s soccer team which you were the captain of and took very seriously.

Sometimes people question how you and Funa even click but that didn’t matter to her. She always told them she loved you no matter what people think. You appreciated her for that.

What you didn’t appreciate though was the guy that stood in front of your girlfriend’s table, holding a bouquet of lillies in one hand while the other scratched his ear shyly.

Your feet immediately started moving faster. Ruka and Moa looked at you confused mid argument. “Hey Y/n where you going?”

“Good morning Funa” The man bowed.

“Good morning Jake” Funa responded sweetly.

“You look so beautiful today and I bought these flowers earlier for you too”

“Oh…thank you!” Funa smiled but made no movement in grabbing the flowers.

“Are you free to go out on a date sometime? You and me?”

Jiwoo snorted. “Um, sorry she’s not interested”

“I wasn’t talking to you” He spat, surprising the group.

Yunah didn’t take that lightly. “What she meant was, Funa is not interested nor available” She fired back with darkness in her eyes.

“Funa can answer for herself”

“Jake seriously, I’d leave if I were you—“ Youngseo started speaking but she cursed under her breath when she saw your figure approaching closer.

“What’s going on here?” You asked in your usual blunt tone.

Jiwoo smirked while crossing her arms.

“U-Uh Jake was just leaving. Bye Jake!” Moka waved but the man did not move a muscle.

He pointed the bouquet at you. “And you are?”

“Sport major and Soccer captain, Hwang Y/n. Also, Funa’s girlfriend. And you are?”

Jake’s smile faltered. “You’re Funa’s girlfriend?”

“Is there a problem?” You tilted your head with a squint.

“I-I was just giving these flowers to her, nothing else I swear”

“She’s allergic to lillies” You deadpanned.

“I-I’m sorry! Goodbye!” Jake ran off while your eyes continued burning the back of his head.

“Must you scare people like that?” Ruka snapped at you.

Funa stood up from her seat and hooked her arms around your neck before pecking your lips. “Good morning baby”

“Good morning indeed” You grumbled and looked away.

“Hey don’t be like that, he’s gone now” she smiled and kissed your lips again.

“Ugh gross. Anyways, you ladies coming to watch our soccer game right?” Moa leaned her elbow on the table.

The girls nodded.

“Of course! I promised Chanelle” Moka smiled.

“Does no one wanna watch me?” Moa feigned hurt and clutched her heart.

“I’ll throw tomatoes at you, how about that?” Ruka teased, earning a hard pull on her cheek by Moa.

“You’re coming right?” You asked your girlfriend.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, babe. I’m your #1 fan”

And just like that, your mood got a little better.

[6pm]

The first match hasn’t started yet but you and your team stood by your bench, waiting for your coach to discuss formations. You took the time to look at the crowd and saw your girlfriend at the front waving a huge cardboard sign that read ‘NUMBER 1 IS MINE <3’

She referred to the number on your shirt which you specifically chose because Funa always claimed you were her number 1. It was extremely cheesy but if it kept Funa smiling crazy like that, you wouldn’t change it for anyone else.

You gave her a small wave but she returned it with a blow kiss, making you go red.

“Why are you red? We haven’t even started playing” Moa frowned.

“Whatever. Be right back!” You said and jogged to where your girlfriend was.

Unfortunately the bleacher’s fence was in between you two so you could only hold onto it when finally standing in front of her. “Hi, Princess”

“Hey cutie” She winked. “Did I ever tell you how hot you look in your soccer uniform?”

“All the time actually”

Funa smirked and bit her lip.

“D-Don’t look at me like that. I’m gonna get distracted” you looked away, going red again.

“It’s so funny how people are scared of you yet you’re all soft for me”

You rolled your eyes. “That’s because you’re my girl, baby”

Funa smiled at your words but noticed a group of girls within the crowd staring at you, being all giggly while whispering things to each other. Funa could see one of them mouth ‘number 1 is so hot’ to her friends, erupting a sudden feeling of jealousy within the business major.

Putting down her sign, she placed a hand on your nape and the other held onto your shoulder.

Your thoughts went out the window when you girlfriend pulled you in for a kiss. It wasn’t just the usual soft kiss she always gave you, but this one was sloppy, hot, and aggressive.

“Oh for god’s sakes, can you two not make out like your life depends on it?!” Ruka yelled, trying to cover Youngseo and Moka’s eyes.

Jiwoo cringed and screwed the cap of her water bottle. “You two make my water taste bad”

Hearing your friends’ complaints, Funa pulled away but kept her eyes on yours.

“What was that for?” You whispered, letting Funa cup your face.

“Sorry, these girls were just looking at what’s mine”

“Who are you and what did you do to my soft business major girlfriend?” You chuckled, placing your bigger hands on her’s that held your cheeks.

“Let me mark you just in case more girls look”

Your eyes widened while looking around to see if anyone heard. “Babe, we’re literally in public”

Funa slapped your shoulder. “I meant a lipstick mark you idiot!”

You nodded and released her hands so she could apply a thicker amount of lipstick before leaning in to place one on your neck and then on your cheek.

“Good?” You questioned.

“Hmm, not quite. Come here” she smirked and attacked the rest of your face with lipstick marks, surprising you and your friends.

“Alright, enough!” Jiwoo scolded, having to grab Funa’s shoulders.

You felt a bit dizzy, not used to your girlfriend’s possessive side but it’s something you definitely wanted to see later.

“If you win this game, I’ll give you a reward” Funa whispered in your ear.

Yeah there was no way you were letting that opportunity slide. “I’ve never lost a game, Princess”

“Looking forward to tonight then”

“Hwang get in here!” Coach called out.

You sighed and looked at your girlfriend once more. “See you in a bit, babe”

Funa pecked your lips. “That’s for good luck. Break a leg, baby. Not literally though”

“Oh wait!” You exclaimed and took off your necklace before putting it on Funa. “Wear this. Bye bye!”

Funa fiddled with the necklace and smiled like an idiot.

“I still question how you and Y/n managed to get together, considering she has a stick up her ass all the time, but I can really see she loves you” Ruka wiggled her eyebrows.

“People just don’t see how she really is with me” Funa giggled, reaching for her sign to wave around.

“You look stupid” Chanelle commented on the lipstick marks all over your face and neck.

“You’re just jealous” You chuckled

“Jealous of looking stupid? Not really”

“I hate you”

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in March 2023. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #48 |  ko-fi | fic recs

—Louis/Harry—

✿ A Bright and Blazing Flame  by green_feelings / @greenfeelings

(E, 23k, a/b/o, part 4 of series) Bonded, engaged, and moved in together — there’s nothing to daunt Louis and Harry’s happiness. Until the past catches up to them and everything comes crashing down when they least expect it.

✿ Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche

(T, 18k, a/b/o) Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around. What he doesn’t expect is Harry to fucking drop.

✿ In the Strangest of Ways by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(NR, 17k, ghost au) when the haunting sounds of a melancholy piano piece accompanied by the vague shadow of a beautiful male figure appear, Louis is determined to find out who this beautiful man was and what happened to him…

✿ anything you want until the morning by honey_beeing

(M, 12k, strangers to lovers) A Late Night Talking AU where Harry and Louis find each other on the way to work every night and then learn to not let go of each other ever again.

✿ Wed’n Walk (Or, We Went to Amsterdam Together) by @hellolovers13

(E, 11k, fake relationship) When Harry had first started planning his honeymoon to Amsterdam, he had not envisioned ending up there with his best friend. Or getting fake-married to him for 24 hours.

✿ Station 28 by @justahappycloud

(G, 10k, strangers to lovers) Darling, you are my favourite accident by far.

✿ Awaken As Mine by thinlines / @thinlinez

(E, 9k, a/b/o) Omega Harry was sure he had found his alpha, but how to get reading crazed, bookworm Louis to look twice at him was a mystery for the ages.

✿ Grow as We Go by @larryatendoftheday

(T, 7k, breakup) a fic about growing up and choosing each other.

✿ Catastrophe (Or Not) by grapenight / @louiswolves

(G, 5k, pet fic) Harry's a crazy cat person and Louis is the vet he keeps bringing his cats to with minor concerns like "she's been acting weird lately" and "he didn't poop today so I'm worried" but it's really just excuses to keep seeing Louis everyday

✿ Soft Wings by @kingsofeverything

(G, 4k, tattoo au) Harry is a Dolly Parton fan who wants to get a tattoo in tribute to her. Louis is the tattoo artist.

✿ Cookbooks and Toothpicks and One Lizard by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 3k, witch Harry) If there is one thing that Harry hates about Halloween, it’s what a spectacle everyone suddenly makes around him.

✿ when we're finished saying nothing by @disgruntledkittenface

(E, 3k, girl direction) An alpha/alpha AU inspired by Written All Over Your Face.

✿ I Hope You Choke (on those words) by Imogenlee / @imogenleefic

(E, 3k, musician Louis) Harry Styles had been head of security for concert venues for over eight years.Never in his career had he seen a musician as reckless when it came to personal safety as Louis Tomlinson.

✿ Never Seen A Boy Like YOU Before by @jaerie

(E, 3k, trans Louis) Of all the housemates out on the ranch Louis had had over the years, none of them could even come close to Harry. 

✿ Snow One Like You by cherrylarry / @beelou

(G, 3k, girl direction) The strangers to lovers stuck on a ski lift au

✿ Lapful Of Lou by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal

(M, 2k, friends to lovers) they are both idiots and it takes a drunk Harry (with no brain to mouth filter) to get things going.

✿ Oblivious by grapenight / @louiswolves

(G, 2k, uni au) Louis and Harry are roommates, and Louis is instantly attracted to Harry.

—Rare Pairs—

✿ neither wanting more, neither asking why (series) by @justanothershadeofblue

(E, 40k, OT5) If Louis is the origin, Zayn the expansion, Liam the complication, Niall the solution, then Harry - Harry's the completion.

✿ The Hour of Us by sitandadmire / @niallziam

(M, 5k, Harry/Louis/Niall) the modern witches AU where Niall collects spell books, Harry is fascinated by plants, and Louis is ready to protect them at all costs.

✿ find our place by @nouies

(NR, 3k, Zayn/Louis) “Fuck!” Louis says as he hangs up the phone and turns it off. He hopes the call didn’t connect, otherwise he would have to change his number. Again.

[jimxnslight]

Listen here, I need more of that car scene because what do you mean he was staring at her with his hand on her wrist? WHILE SHE’S BASCIALLY ON TOP OF HIM??? WITH HIS DARK STRUCTURED EYEBROWS I LOVE HIS EYEBROWS. That other anon was right because I cannot get that scene out of my head. Jungkook in a suit makes me weak. Jungkook demanding something makes me weaaaak. If oc doesn’t want him I will gladly take him and I won’t poison his expensive whiskey collection. I’ll make sure he sleeps nice and sound without a worry in the world because he deserves all the rest he needs for being such a big alpha male in the mafia industry. Sexy man with a sexy gun.

It’s 2 am and I have a fucking 8 am class. Let me kms cause I dunno why it was such a great idea to sign up for an early class and tell me why it’s almost a full class?? Who is functioning that early and eager to learn about macro economics? Not me I’ll tell you that. It was either 8 am or 5 pm slot and hell no am I staying on campus that late especially once the sun starts setting at 5 pm. I have no clue why I’m blabbing all of this to you but I guess as a fellow uni student you must understand the struggle of trying to pay attention during lectures. Assignments are fine for the most part but when I’m in class I cannot retain any knowledge. I’m too distracted by the guy who sits a row in front of me because he plays Tetris on his laptop and this other girl is always on Amazon adding stuff to her cart but never checking out which I relate cause I’m broke but we can pretend we have money and I’m nosyyyytt I wanna see what she’s pretending to buy. Girlie has a whole shark vacuum, some sort of memory foam couch pillows, and I think these mini cute ghost string lights…oddly specific but her list gets a pass in my book. I wish I could write like you. I would be creating novels during lecture and everybody would think I’m taking the best notes ever. Anywho I’m guessing your bias is jimin, mines is Yoongi and I will defend that man until my last breath. Jungkook is my bias wrecker, that piece of shit is too attractive for no reason. I can’t wait until Hobi comes back and I can’t wait for the next chapter!!! My adhd likes to get a hold of me when it’s deep into the night. So sorry but I’m just tryna tell you I love your writing lol. Hope you got that message

THE ADHD IS SO STRONG IN THIS IM ACTUALLY CRYING 😭😭😭

I mean ur so real for that, like it’s Jeon Jungkook in a suit being commanding and we’re just girls 🎀 But not you trying to steal Jungkook from Y/N, that man is married must I remind you 🤨📸

I actually cannot relate to the lecture thing (sorry lol) bc I’m online and thankfully we don’t have lectures, just modules. But I do remember when I did go on campus for a week I could not for the life of me keep myself awake during lectures (I also decided to be studious and booked the 8AM classes like a fool). But uni is a struggle no matter what, like I JUST did an exam where it just randomly submitted in the middle of me taking it and now I’m waiting for my prof to email me back about the issue while praying that he’s merciful enough not to just fail me immediately 🤠 so yeah, here’s to self-inflicted suffering ✨

Thank you so much! Trust me it’s not as hard as it seems, everything improves with practice. Maybe you can start out with smaller stories and eventually when ur comfortable enough move onto larger ones? Don’t hesitate to ask me if you need any help or tips, I’d be more than happy to help!

[httpiastri]

i missed you!!! hope you’re enjoying your break from here, consider this an extension of my hug to wherever you are rn <33 big huuuuugggss for you from all of us here 🤗🩵

college!pepe going to his sisters for relationship advices 🫶🏻 correct me if im wrong, but i think pepe has older sisters? so maybe after the fight, or really just one random day where he feels like hmmm maybe i should confront my feelings and not run away from it anymore… he’ll sit with that thought for a bit until one day he just finds himself in front of their door (im thinking carla–i believe that’s one of his sister’s name–since she has a partner after all!) his excuse was that he missed his sisters and that he wanted to catch up a bit 💘

so imagine the look of surprise on their faces when he blurted out that he needs relationship advice!! just quietly says that he thinks he’s starting to fall for someone and he asked them how should he approach it because he’s feeling so confused and scared … he spent the next few hours just spilling everything to his sister and her wife, telling them how he thought he knew everything there is to be known about liking someone in courtesy of his last relationship, but when he met yn?! everything was out of the window. he tells them he thinks it’s worth taking the risk to fall for her, but he’s scared she won’t feel the same way and he’ll ended up being the only one to fall again 😵‍💫

and even as they attentively listen to pepe and his worries, they can’t help but share a look of like omg !!! their baby brother is all grown up JDHJDDK and also the fact that they don’t recall him asking them for any kind of advice during his last relationship and he was in an ACTUAL relationship then, and not in some sort of limbo between friends and something more like he is now!!! so they know he def reeeeeaaaaallly likes yn 🥹 they try to give advices where they can, just a few things from their own experience to ease his mind and though they know he’s capable of making good decisions, a little push in the right direction never hurts <33

- 🎀

aaaaaaa my love! thank you so much!!! big big hugs to you too <3<3

this ask is so sweet i feel like im getting a toothache 😭 pls he would be so cute going to his sisters like that... im imagining him being kinda nervous-ish when actually bringing it up, the like "so uh... i actually have something i wanted to ask you about....*long pause*..... well, there's this girl..." and they're kinda freaking out but trying not to because they don't want to stress him or anything, they don't wanna make a big deal out of it all. and they'll want him to tell it from the beginning, from how pepe and yn met and all of the things that have happened, and like... a sister can't not squeal from happiness when she sees her little brother all smiley talking about how the girl he likes fell asleep on his shoulder during a movie night at the apartment or something 😭

and yes like even if pepe might still have his doubts about the whole thing, the sisters are so sure just from the way he talks about her. he's lowkey blushing, only saying the sweetest things about her, and just :(( and his sisters ofc make sure to tell him that they'll always be there for him if he needs it for these kinds of things and that he shouldn't be shy to talk to them. they wanna support him all the way, and i feel like they would also continue to pester him with questions and ask him for updates when he's back at uni 😭

[jinnify]

mixtape: on track − chapter eleven.

synopsis. new girl yn had felt the need to stay under the radar ever since she arrived at yonsei uni. the last thing she needed at the start of a new semester was drama. that was until she met minho, and hyunjin had a problem with it.

“holy shit, someone take me out back and shoot me old yeller style,” you groaned as you waited for yunjin to finish touching up your makeup. you hadn’t started filming yet and were fighting for your life trying to keep your eyes open. yunjin lightly tapped your cheek with the end tip of her brush, “hey! no falling asleep, babe. you need to run lines with minho and jeongin.”

you looked over to the other side of the makeshift filming lot you were all on, watching minho and jeongin casually talk to each other. “what you lookin’ at?” yunjin asked as she pushed her head against yours, trying to see your point of view. “ugh, please don’t tell me you're also feeling minho,” yunjin rolled her eyes, applying your blush. “well, i’m not, but why would that be a bad thing?” you asked, slightly tilting your head in confusion.

“it’s not a bad thing, but i swear everyone is in love with that dude. all my friends do is talk about him.” yunjin slightly grimaced as she thought back on her friends fawning over minho every five minutes. “plus, liking him would mean having to fight with a hundred other girls for his attention.” she seemed to pause for a moment, seemingly thinking about something. “although, i have noticed he goes out of his way to talk to you lately,” she smiled widely.

“maybe, you won’t have to fight for him at all.” she shrugged her shoulders suggestively, giggling as she noticed your bashful expression. “yunjin, please stop oh my god. i’m not into him. or anyone at all, actually,” you tried to convince her. “i really, really just want to focus on my studies this semester.”

seungmin eventually called you all to film several scenes, taking up nearly the entirety of your day. “cut! and that’s a wrap on today!” felix called out, clapping to catch everyone’s attention. 

“oh my god, finally. i thought about offing myself at least seven times today,” you murmured to yourself, making minho let out a laugh from beside you. “they’re lucky i have at least saturday off.”

you tried to listen to minho as much as you could, but hyunjin’s head being thrown back every time jeongin made him laugh from behind minho was quite distracting. “uh, anyway,” minho cleared his throat, “do you have a ride back to the dorms? i don’t mind taking you back.” you brought your eyes back to minho’s cat-like ones, noticing a pretty speck of gold in the sunset.

“are you sure? i had already asked hyunjin and jeongin, so you don’t have to.”

“I really don’t, i’ll be in the car when you’re ready,” he winked.

you felt your face heat up, watching minho’s figure walk to the exit. you quickly walked to where hyunjin and jeongin were presumably waiting for you to finish up your conversation with minho. “hey guys, i’m getting a ride from minho! you can go home now if you want!”

“sounds good, yn!” jeongin waved over to you. you waited for hyunjin’s own goodbye, noticing his stare, but it never came. it took a small shove from jeongin to snap the blonde back into reality. “right. i’ll see you around, yn.”

m:ot – ch. 011

previous | masterlist | next

✉️ notes from nia.

auuurkay i meant to put "tomorrow" instead of "today" in chan's message pls don't yell at me

taglist. open

@https-skzology, @vixensss

[stuck-in-hypna]

These Drunk Confessions

These drunk confessions - Part 1

Park Jongseong (Jay) x OC (Im Haeyoon) | College AU | Situationship

For Haeyoon, it was better to end things than to admit how she truly felt. It's not like she didn't like their set up, she was just too scared of rejection, leaving Park Jongseong lost, confused and full of misconceptions that ended in these drunk confessions. Now, everyone in their circle knows about what has transpired in the past, plus Jongseong's feelings--everyone knew, except of course, for the oblivious Im Haeyoon..

⊱ ━━━━━━━━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊰

Part 1: OC’s (Haeyoon) POV

“So… there’s this party…” my best friend of almost two decades started as we were having lunch at the university cafeteria.

“No, Rin. I’ll be busy.” I deadpanned as I finished my chocolate pudding, not wanting to listen to what she had to say.

“I haven’t even said anything yet! Sunghoon will be there though.” She added hopefully. Ah, the ex-love of my life as everyone knows, who happened to reject me but is still nice about it. That was laughable really, and I’m over it.

“I’m over him, love. You know that,” I gave her a disapproving look. It didn’t hurt my pride as much though, because it was a cover-up, and probably because he didn’t gloat about it, we’re still good friends. After that drunk confession which was supposedly for another person (his best friend?), Sunghoon rejected me and said he never saw me that way, which I’m thankful for as it would get pretty complicated if he didn’t. “And besides, if Sunghoon is there, so is his best friend, Park Jongseong.”

“God! I wasn't implying anything!” she added defensively. “Why are you so irked with his presence anyway? It’s not like you have a past with Jay…” Oh God, we DID have a past, it’s just that nobody knew!

“Don’t act like I’m not aware of things, I know the party will be this Friday to celebrate Jake’s birthday, Jake and I are not even close. I don’t just crash anyone’s party, you know.”

“Whose party are we crashing?” Heeseung interrupted the discussion, sitting beside Aerin, as she became flustered while attempting to hide a smile.

“You’re close by association, he’s close with Sunghoon and Heeseung!” she interjected, like it was the brightest idea ever.

“Close with whom, babe?” Heeseung shot Aerin a confused glance.

“You’re going too, right Hee? Jake’s party this weekend.”

“Oh stop it with your flirting. You two are so pathetic!” I rolled my eye at them, trying so hard to change the topic but ended up failing. They should just address their feelings for each other and start dating, it gets everyone frustrated when they say that they’re just close friends. Yeah, right. Close friends who can’t get their hands off each other.

“Come on Yoon, we won’t even let you drive, you can drink all you want.” She insisted, with Heeseung backing her up.

“And Jake wants you there, he likes you, you know,” Heeseung said, which made my best friend giggle like crazy. “You were always at the parties we hosted, what happened?”

Nah, Jake doesn’t like me like that, I don't think so. He is nice, and can even be considered as hot, but he’s a fuck boy. He has girls left and right, and I don’t want to be one of those girls who are at his beck and call, nope that isn’t me.

“I’ll think about it.” I finally said after a minute of silence God, just drop the subject, please! It’s not like I don’t want to, but I don’t feel like seeing Park Jongseong in a setting other than our campus.

I stood up and excused myself from the two, and made my way to a nearby study space so I can finish my work in peace, but who am I kidding? My mind wandered off to Jongseong, again. The almighty Park Jongseong—Jay for most people. Our friend group is well known within our uni and other campuses as well, because of these guys; Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jake, Sunoo, Jungwon, Niki and of course, Jay—who’s also a fuckboy just like Jake. I don’t want to associate myself with him again, not in this lifetime!

Jongseong and I were friends with benefits, and nobody knew about this, not even Aerin. He was the one I lost my virginity to, and vice versa—well, at least that’s what he told me.

All that started the summer after high school, when he was introduced by a classmate. It only ended at the start of our junior year in college, just a few months back.

We had a deal that if one of us started to like someone else, we’d tell the other. The relationship was supposedly exclusive, we can date but we can’t fuck other people, if we did, we had to stop this situationship.

Ironic enough, we also became a part of the same friend group, freshman year. We were aloof in front of our friends but it’s a totally different story when we’re alone or with our parents, it is also unbelievable how we kept the act for more than two years.

At the parties the guys hosted, it was the same story. Our younger friends would be there, but they were not allowed to drink, it was either me or Jongseong that picked them up, then Sunghoon being the slightly responsible one will drive them home before their curfew, then will only start drinking once the kids are home. Jongseong and I will then disappear when everyone’s drunk or busy and will spend the night either at his or my place. And there were also weekdays, when he spent most nights at my place, without our friends knowing.

Until the dreadful thing happened, I fell in love with him—sophomore year, second semester.

It was also one of the unwritten rules, to not fall for the other. Of course, I didn’t have the guts to tell him or end it, I was just there for him, nothing changed. Besides, he did not show me any kind of affection when we were outside of our confines, I just knew it was one-sided.

Then came Jake, who was a transfer student in the first semester of junior year and he hit it off with our clique, so naturally the guys found another reason to host a party, to welcome him that is. It was the same old routine, except Jungwon, Niki and Sunoo did not need to go home that night, they would be crashing at Heeseung’s, who hosted the party.

Jongseong on the other hand told me that he wouldn’t be able to go home with me that night, which was a first, he said he needed to babysit his cousin. I didn’t mind, and who was I to demand to know what he was up to, we were not in a relationship.

That’s when I saw him with another girl on the balcony, while I was seated on one of the pool chaises, a little tipsy but had a good view of them while I was hidden from their sight. He allowed her to lunge forward and kiss him, he did not even resist. Realization hit me that time that I was nothing to Jongseong, so I made an excuse to my friends that I will be going home early as I’m not feeling well, I did not even bother saying goodbye to him.

In the succeeding days, I talked to him less. I didn’t make myself as available as before so I made up shitty excuses to not see him, I was scared that he’d tell me that he would end things, I thought that it'd feel better if it was the other way around, so I planned to end it with him. I also avoided our friends that same week and was absent on the classes I shared with each one of them. They kept messaging me too, especially Aerin and Jongseong, asking about my whereabouts, and made up this lame excuse that I was spending time with my mom, good thing Jongseong did not ask mom about me.

The following week, that's when I dropped the bomb--I messaged him and said that we should stop whatever was between us as there was already someone I liked. He did not stop calling until I had to switch off my phone, I then went home to my parents and made myself MIA. Mom thought it was pressure from school, so she let me off the hook.

After two weeks of hiding, I finally went back. I talked to my professors, and they gave me extra work for credits. Another excuse to not see them, I did tell Aerin that something was up but did not tell her in detail, I was thankful that she did not pry, and she understood me. Jongseong stopped bothering me altogether, I was somewhat relieved, but I did miss him, so much if I may add.

That weekend, I made an appearance at the party hosted by Sunghoon when I realized how selfish I was and apologized to them for being MIA. It wasn’t a surprise that Jay had his arm around someone, I didn’t even look at him, I could feel his ireful stares which I tried so hard to ignore.

I did not leave Sunghoon’s side that night, thankfully he did not mind, not one bit, and when everyone mellowed down, that’s when Jongseong started to argue with me that progressed into a full-blown fight loud enough for our friends and bystanders to hear. He accused me of liking Sunghoon, and that did it for me. I deliberately told him that I indeed liked Sunghoon because he doesn’t sleep around. It was too late when I fully understood what I’ve just said, the others broke the fight and Sunghoon drove me home, and was nice enough to comfort me and stay with me until the morning—this was when he rejected me. I didn't bother explaining to him what really happened, it was left at that.

That was the last time I’ve ever spoken to Park Jongseong, or at least the last civilized one. He did, however, drunk text me a few times, saying that Sunghoon doesn’t like me and things with similar context, he was fucking petty, and I ignored him, until I ended up blocking his number.

“Hey, you’re too deep in thought.” Sunoo nudged me, I did not realize that he’s here with Jungwon, Sunghoon and the manwhore himself, Park Jongseong.

“I’m just tired. Exams are coming up.”

The guys joined me at the then empty table, Jongseong was hesitant but still sat with the others.

“So I hear you’re coming this Friday.” Sunghoon asked, after the incident, it took about three months before I started hanging out with the guys.

“If Aerin and Heeseung told you, then they’re lying. I told them I’d think about it. That's different.”

“Come one, you don’t have to worry about driving, I’ll pick you up and even drive you home.” Sunghoon insisted.

“Yess! Please, please!” Sunoo begged, “you haven’t joined us in a long time.”

“Eight months is not a long time, love. Plus, I have been busy.” I told them, Jungwon frowned, and I know he doesn’t believe me.

“Yeah, busy with what? Dating after Sunghoon rejected you?” Jongseong smirked and I am so tempted to wipe that fucking smirk off his face.

“Am I even talking to you, Jay?” I said with a straight face. “Mind your own business, why not continue fucking everyone else in this school instead of putting your nose into someone else’s life? It got too boring for you?”

“At least they’re all lined up for me, unlike for some people I know.” He continued to pester me, “It’s not my fault that no one wants to fuck you.”

“Are you sure about that?” I was fuming but I didn’t want to lose my composure, “maybe you can ask Jake.” Sunghoon held me by my elbow, trying to prevent me from saying anything more.

“Yeah, Jake would fuck you alright, but that’s it. As if he’d come looking for you again after one night, don’t think so highly of yourself.”

“Jay, stop-“ Jungwon tried to control him, too late though, my anger got the best of me and I slapped Jongseong, hard.

“Okay, we gotta go!” Sunoo forced me out of the building, Sunghoon followed carrying my stuff which he shoved in my backpack.

“That fucking asshole!”

“Im Haeyoon! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sunoo hit the back of my head lightly as soon as we were out of the building.

“Didn’t you hear what he just said? He insulted me, Sun!!!” I almost yelled, “that fucking manwhore insulted me!”

“Why do guys walk so fast?” Sunghoon suddenly appeared while catching his breath, “what was that about Im Haeyoon?”

“Stop calling me by my legal name assholes!” they took me to the nearby park, and I sat on one of the benches, “he’s getting on my nerves, I don’t even know what his problem is.”

“Bad break up, perhaps?” Sunoo joked, Sunghoon guffawed, my eyes widen, “You’re too guilty!”

“We know, Yoon. Jay told us some bits, when he was drunk, we’ve been meaning to ask you as well.”

“What do you know? Who else knows about this?”

“Well, since Jay is a bad drunk,” Sunghoon admitted, “he may or may have not told everyone, including Aerin, you know because of Heeseung.”

“Right.” When the information sinks, I buried my face in my hands, “OH.MY.GOD! Park fucking Jongseong!”

“Chill, I somewhat knew.” Sunoo rubbed my back, “the way he looks at you says it all, he’s so in love with you Yoon.”

“Wait, what?” Did I just hear it correctly?

“You know he didn’t talk to me for a month, right?” Sunghoon said exasperatedly, “he thought that you and I dated.”

“It’s true, I was the first one he drunk confessed to,” Sunoo snickered at the thought, “he said you broke up with him for another guy, that you liked one of his best friends and he can’t do anything about it. It was the week you were at your parents.’"

“Wait, I’m confused. He was never my boyfriend guys. We never dated. Yes, we fucked but that was that.” I tried to explain even if it doesn’t make sense to me, “We were friends with benefits, I didn’t want to tell you guys since things would be awkward.”

Sunghoon sat on the ground, facing me and Sunoo “I only noticed it when he changed. He was always drunk at parties and flirted with different girls on a daily basis, but he never took anyone home as far as I know.”

“Hard to believe, Hoon. I mean, he plays tonsil hockey with one of the girls in one of our classes, then he flirts with a different one on another. I’m not surprised if he’s contracted STD or something.”

"He never had sex with anyone, Haeyoon. Believe me."

“Didn’t you like him at least? I know you did.” Sunoo urged, waiting for me to answer.

“I did.” I paused, it felt good to have everything off my chest for once, “I really did, but when I saw him kissing that girl at Heeseung’s party, I knew it had to stop, he didn’t see me that way, I totally made a fool out of myself.”

“What? What girl? Did you know about this Hoon? Was this the party for Jake?”

“Ah! The girl he was with, I remember. Jay dumped her that same night, and then he came looking for you, but you already went home. He wanted to go to you, but we warned him not to drive, he already had too much to drink. I think he also tried to call, but you were not picking up.”

“That’s when I started avoiding him, I knew I had to break it off with him. I told him I liked someone else, that’s why I said I liked you, sorry Hoon, if you got caught in the middle. I was desperate to break it off with him… I never formally apologized to all of you, I was being selfish that time."

“It’s okay, we all had fun irking Jay anyway. He was so reactive, Jake did have a crush on you, but when he found out about your past with Jay, he riled him up for fun, pretending he doesn’t know anything. He’s so jealous of Jake, I think that’s why he reacted that way earlier.” Sunghoon also confessed, while Sunoo's nodding excitedly.

“Hoon is telling the truth, I’ve witnessed it! He walks out if he gets too pissed but will say sorry the next day, saying he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him or that he’s stressed.” Sunoo laughed so hard while saying this, “We were doing this with the hopes that he’d finally confess to you, but he’s too much of a coward, that’s for sure.”

“It’s okay, loves. I’m sure we’ve both moved on, it has been almost a year.”

Or perhaps I thought I did, but with this newfound information sparked some unwanted emotions. This could not be happening! Why is it always one step forward, two steps back?

---------------

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TDC ||

[euphoricfilter]

Oooh I l get the uni social problems. (I’m in my second semester). I do a lot of going to events hoping I’ll make friends, then leaving halfway through without actually making any friends because I prefer to leave a bit before my social battery dies so I don’t start saying stuff without any filter (I tend to skip common sense when my brain fries). My short conversations and sometimes just listening and asking questions has started piling up and even if I don’t have proper friends yet I have a fair number of friendly acquaintances. Maybe I’ll have a couple friends by the end of this semester.

i get that!!

i’ve actually been completely avoiding all the fresher events last week and will probably avoid all the ones this week too. the people in my hallway have asked me to come out with them a couple of times, or to drink with them in the kitchen and i’ve had to politely decline because it really just isn’t for me and i wouldn’t wanna ruin the vibes because my brain can only handle so much stimuli before i disassociate and just feel funky bad for like 3 days after

the last like year has been particularly bad for my social anxiety so i know i’ll be way too overwhelmed 10 minutes into whatever event is happening, especially the night time ones so i’ve been preserving my sanity and not going to anything because i just know i won’t enjoy any of it. and i think sometimes it’s hard to accommodate for yourself but i’ve been getting a little better at it, and hope i’m indirectly sending signals to the people i live with that i do like them but i’m just nervous a lot of the time

i think my problem is, i haven’t had to actively make friends since i was like 10. the school i just graduated from, my grade was small enough that you’re just kinda friends with everyone by default, because there’s 12 of you and that’s all you’ve got, so you kinda just get along with everyone and you’re all relatively comfortable among one another. so coming into an environment like this is very new and a little daunting…

everyone i’ve met has been very nice so far though, i know i have the tendency to overthink every conversation i have with people and a lot of my worries are in my head. super irrational and a little silly, but again, everyone’s brains are a little different and that’s okay

i would like to say that i definitely think me and the girl in the room next to me are friends though, like it’s easy to ask her if she wants to come to the shops with me, or her to message me about going out to get bubble tea and stuff like that. and i shared my garlic bread with her the other day so i’d argue that was a defining moment in becoming friends because i really love garlic bread

as for the 3 guys i met today, it was kinda spontaneous and i was not ready for them to just call me to sit with them… and every time they would ask me questions i could feel my brain going into absolute overdrive. they did like my choice of favorite movies though so that’s at least a good start. and i didn’t wanna like stick to them the whole day because i thought that would be weird but when i strayed away from them a little they’d make sure i caught up so they seem super nice too

honestly i thought i’d be a little like you, and kinda just have a few good acquaintances that i’m semi comfortable with, especially in my classes. so if we have any group work at least i’m not like peeing myself trying to figure out who to work with but everyone’s just so nice 😭

i feel like i do the complete opposite!!! the moment my social battery is dying i’m silent. i can not form a singular thought that isn’t about my suffering and then i fully dissociate and feel like crying a little and have to force myself to actually pay attention to what is happening otherwise i will retreat into my little mind and think about silly little things so i don’t have to be fully there

i believe you’ll get friends soon!! my dad keeps telling me that it’s all still new and slowly you’ll gravitate towards people like yourself, with maybe the same interests or ways of thinking!! so i believe in the both of us and our abilities to find good people to be friends with 🫡‼️

and i hope your university life is going good too!! less anxiety inducing than mine has been so far and that you’re eating well and taking care of yourself well too 🫂💞

[renatedagmarmilada]

another turn, better or worse.

OBAMA OR WHAT?

 I fear we settled on the wrong shores

gave our best to the wrong stores

did our chores with the worst lot

who brought us nothing but rot

 Eldest son Shaun

(won't tell you of me

how I put down my head in shame

when as a girl the Head of my C of E-

having given out the honours of that year

added: and even our foreign girl

got distinctions, one in English)

He was jumped upon

by a whole class, seriously

when a little Junior lad

broke his bone

cause he's like a wop

means he tans easily

and to those who don't know

a wop is an Eitei!

 then when he grew

with his ten GCE's clutched

wished a place in the Airforce

-this comes from me

the Women's Junior Air Corp

trained me too

-we love aviation-

where I was much liked

till I decided it was not on

to pray for strangers

but not to pray for my own

 I'll give them this

the Royal Air Force

were honest with him

 lad- they gruffly said

you and your family

all bright as buttons

but you know

your name is not only Irish

great-grandfather was from Mayo

and your mother

woe be me

from behind the Iron Curtain

Hunnish refugee

'but, we had been ejected

they had not wanted us!'

 honest though the officer was

so we listened

go Civilian and so he did

and never regretted

forty over now

an American company is his employ

leads a good and fulfilling life

 but now the youngest son too

has got a full hundred minus one at Uni

 are we still from behind the Iron Curtain

or has the curtain moved?

has their great grandfather

and his old lady

barmaid from Dublin

retained their former status

or are they now friends of this Kingdom?

Three generations I was told today

before you can be cleared to climb

and then, well expect complications..

 settled? You're all wrong what ever you assume

they use us for Experiments illegal now

 which they normally use on Down's Syndrome

but how can we complain

we were with her Ladyship

the dear Princess

-just don't let me hear a word said against her-

she was on the same programme

a programme with no safety net

(So why has the lab raised all those lab pakis?)

so off to China I am off again

 so I conclude we chose the wrong place

then I learnt this amazing revelation

 Obama was not even BORN in America

I am still in shock -

 ANOTHER REVUE

 they never break the law

they never have scandals

they never do anything wrong

 this is how it is done

microsound this morning:

(microsound is sound cut into pieces

and replaced by what is on the computer

-see BBC broadcast some ten years ago)

the microsound was supposed to send her mad

we wanted to get her into hospital

then we were going to walk around

talking talking talking

-wasn't supposed to write it all up-

so we have to pinch it from her house

 follow normal procedures

but in secret

no we do not open parcels#

(giggle - normally!)

 'I will be pleased when you are gone'

off to China again?

I don't think that is part of the same bumph

 'and remember all of you'

added lab Anna from St Barths

and I quote here:

'you all owe me till you die

 time for another revue

revues are necessary to keep bashing

 we have your history

means a whole range of lies

says lab Anna from St Barths

I'm off to see the Ministry

(for a bit of gymnastics and sport mayhap?)

sort it out

play as much as you want

 it is ok

totally destroying the rule of law

is perfectly ok

as long as no one can catch you..

 once coming home from late nursing shift

at London's Newham Hospital

I picked up my phone at Plashet Road

my daughter chatting

over which a voice said

'and what if she dies

she dies that is all..

who is going to care

no one can prove anything..'

and I won't tell you of what they got up to

at that hospital

They say hospitals are their play ground

I had thought it was the Ministry!

 'watch your back from friends

that is whom we are using..'

we wrote the report the lab are using

to spread around the world

doing what is outlawed everywhere-

you don't understand

like this:

anti-social means the same as

keeping your own council

and never gossiping about people

Iffy is an expert at it..'

 Iffy was a little boy from a Pakistani family

friends who lived two doors away

(they give themselves names)

so I presume an asian at the lab

 pressed my sternum at night and hyped B.P

milder than recently though

 ''The-we want you dead group-

are still here don't forget..

 'watch her cash flow

doesn't spend

make everything ten times more expensive for her

and cause all sorts of problems

dirty tricks boys get going..'

 'as she ever pinched anything at all

anything, the smallest thing...

(when lab Anna was young she did)

we could put things in her cupboards

If we are caught out

we could say they are replacements

for those things we had taken'

 'ou are an enemy of the State

(I am always teaching interesting stuff about the Isle)

ok you are an enemy of lab Anna

which amounts to the same

especially now that the connection

between you and Tony Banks and others

has been realised

but they won' say anything...'

 ''YOu all owe me for the rest of your lives don't forget!"

we have to break the respect they have for her

as a teacher..

say, it is no good

she won't conform

say she has experience

but lacks experience

say that she...

 pick up something, anything

which happened once

blow it out of all proportion

change the perspective

add a few lies

 you have just got to make her spend

once she is totally dependant on our hand outs.........

 it is all legal

we have just had another revue

we have a revue regularly

to talk about your case

we are not illegal

we told you on microsound

you have had your revue

prove it

 we told the Parliament people

we were supporting you through this experiment

the microsound telling you after the event

is the support

no way for you to ever prove it..

 it is all legal really

and the information from the simulations

deaths, slaughters, torture and maiming

sits in the computer

it is actually useless stuff

but they pay us good money

we all pay good taxes to keep it all going

it is all legal!

 PEA GREEN AND PURPLE

 no one asked if they could film us constantly

day and night

night and day

 no one asked if they could beam us constantly

day and night

night and day

 no one asked from New  York

the sister company of London

Behavioural science

if they could do anything at all to us

 they did it to us

and to anyone whom they could get

never telling anyone

 said the jewess at New  York

sister company of London

(why do all jews work at the mental experimentation places)

 and now you know who taught the Nazis

in their experimental camps

the tricks they got up to

amongst the ordinary population

the same system

which ran the experimental camps then

 she said:

I wouldn't have thought of using pea green with deep purple

like she does lots of the time

as we watch her daily

painting the night away

and the days at Sheffield Art College

that is worth copying

by our New York designers

who no doubt were also all jewish

 do you know

we had lost everything to save jews

I am a bit miffed

but they copied it all

and the rest..........

and the rest........

and the rest....

 well well well....

 WHO HAS BLOCKED YOU

 there won't even be chastisement

for the lab St Barths behavioural science

it came from above this slaughter

 all the people killed

all those maimed

all those destroyed

 by the whim of a rogue lab

I told it simply enough

held silence till I was sure

 the answer

no one will find out

maybe a long time in the future

 it came from above

she must have done something--

that's me who is the she

 one can't help wondering

why God made some people so naive

but then we have to be of every spectre, I suppose

 --no, have you ever heard of vulnerable

and useful for a purpose

because they can't be heard, can't fight

 what she can do, said the Tory, proof?

can be taken and destroyed

there won't even be chastisement

 the troublesome ones at the top are dead

cover all the straight rub them outs

then cover the covers

 those given good positions without education

will intime make mistakes

then there will be more chaos

 watching a porn film made up

and writing about your own sex life

is not a profession

 and slowly the sun which sank over the Empire

will sink over the grey rock

as the water eats its shores

 and you would have thought the Germans had learnt

to keep their noses clean at last

there is a simple word, NO...this is corrupt though seems legal.

 FRANCENE AND THE BOOK CLUB

 Francene is a Scotts lass

she likes the fellas and a laugh

her laugh is disliked by the bossess

at the lab where she has been brought to heights

St Barths Behavioural Science

 she was brought to heights

because Francene was happy to copy

to use up my work on their blasted machine

which has on it my whole life

and every word I ever writ or drew

 all who copy the work

are brought to heights by the lab

as their students had copied the work

as their own thesis stuff

and then the lab made out

that american students had copied for their thesis

so they needed the americans to help clear them

 The lab operatives, wives and such of the quacks

that is the qualification, or to be jewish

were sending my Uni work and creative

from Art College and Literature degree

to Cosmopolitan as their own work

under their own name

Imagine Women's World

printing Hungarian refugee stories

changed to Jewish refugee stories

printed in major magazines in England

and they all wonder why the Iranians doubt...

 so their system guy

which New York sister lab said was the most evil

in all of the States came up with a plan

to destroy me and us

sad really as he was a jew as were New York

and my family had lost everything

and faced concentration camp each day

to feed jews and keep them alive

(I almost feel I should pray for him poor beggar

though he thinks he has everything

loyalty is greater than power or money)

 the bossess didn't like Francene

so put her in charge of another nest of evil

and Francene wrote my work

and got concerned that she didn't even have a GCSE

(I got English a-star in my GCE)

under the lab bossess's instructions

(can you imagine

all that scottish history

and she writes about an elderly east european

refugee from transit and refugee camps!

me, I would want to write about my own problems)

 The bossess pushes her protegees work very hard

like Christopher the Oxford gran she fancied as a toy boy

she gave four books

packaged and sold to

I almost laugh when I imagine the Oxford Dons reading

and passing high comments about my work in disguise

and Francene, though she wa common as muck she said

she pushed very hard too

 Nicely presented said the book club

well it would be, with the best in the land presenting it

(I know it is all that woman's work

but it doesn't matter)

so now the book club sells my work in disguise

for Francene who's laugh we have all heard

 and Francene said to Anna of the lab

I think I prefer a career to writing that woman's books

(I think she thinks it will be discovered one day)

please can you 'career forward' me

 we never knew how corrupt England was

studied the Letter A at Degree level

seen endless films about them

spoke of why they fled to the new world

but had no idea

nothing has changed

they use their subcontinent slaveys to do the dirty work

and gather all in for themselves

corrupt old devils at that Ministry!

 what is a bit of a shock

is that such low life

gets such professional situations

that is something we didn't know...

 I have always been polite at public offices

never one to insult or be impatient

never again

I sit there laughing at them now

sneeringly!

con merchants

the lot of them over here.

 PRAYER AT LAHORE

 living at Jihad Headquarters

no problem

they don't know what two sided snakes

some of theirs are over here

playing both sides and the middle

for big money against their own people

watching their own people even in bed

giving them simulated illnesses remote

on screens for the Ministry's lab

at that time

neither did I

Lab-Pakistani Big Brother is watching you too

brother!

 fleeing from big brother at the Ministry

-still thinking in the British way

back then with problems-

and the lab St Barths put over

the Queen adviced clear off to there

as had always been the case in this country

and I even wrote to Buckingham Palace

 but then the Palace promised no more rape

and they didn't keep to their promise at all

 We both believe in a God

it is just the Church of England

which receives its pay from the State

which is a worry

this political wasp unwanted

as it is a State organisation from another country

differentiation the media never bothers to declare

 invited to Sunday lunch

it was time for Mass

lunch was dropped

and all the guest perturbed

rush her over to the Cathedral

 got lost on the bus

thought I'd try a new route

walked and walked

getting nowhere

saw the Punjab Reclamation Centre

ah......all at work

at the desk a group of workers

take me to your leader

I declared with heat

the little devil walking me up the stairs

kept trying to get hold of my arm

sliding his hand onto my chest

 got to the room of the boss

a lady in green sitting on a stage

behind a huge desk

below a fair way on chairs

four young men taking notes

 could you help me please

I need to get to prayer

no one knows where

but we will try to get you there

 get out the motor scooter

WHAT-- I am well over half a centuary old

perched on the back

we flew through the city

promptly got lost

passed the police man at the corner

who used to laugh each morning

as I tried to cross the road to the Uni

he waved the traffic on as I was half way across

devil...

 now these subcontinent ladies

knew how to keep their scarves on their head not as a flag

navy chiffon scarf flying six foot behind me

and again as we got more lost

till the policeman bent double laughing

and we finally found the Cathedral

 but best Mass of all was Tuesday night

which was the Urdu Mass

bongo drums and all

most amazing music

Cathedral filled beyond the doors

I am sure the lady next to me is saying Muslim prayers

I've lived with them, rich and poor and know

then at the end

I discover why

a bag of rice and a loaf of bread

just like the Sermon on the Mount

for every one who attended.......

 and a smile for me

when I come with the kids

to the Mosque

 life and people are fun everywhere

Governments are a pain.

 ALL IN A BASKET

 Little Mary

whose dad had a big business

came from some where in the hinterland

China is huge

her friend was a lovely Mongolian girl

who clung to me

 little Mary knew she was Christian

but later told me

I don't think I am one of your type

the missionary told my gran

one lot believe God is a woman called Mary

but our lot believe God is a man

I suspect she was some form of Protestant

 She believed I was a- one who called God a woman

well, a bit of woman worship is a good thing too-

never the less she was one of my groupies

sharp little madam she was too

but got jealous when the Mongolian girl

also became a groupie

The missionaries left impressions

but where not trained teachers

so a lot of them over there

are more confused than ever

but cling to single items

 like my top Monitor

at the previous State Uni I taught at

knew his granny had a Bible

but didn't know anymore than that

I took him to Mass

but he found it to complicated

 Chinese Priests yell like billy-ho

even my friend-Priests

and lay down the law rather strictly

just like when I was a kid in Bavaria

though their congregation attends well

well it was a German Protectorate

and the old Priest still speaks fluent German-

all sorts of people have come to Church with me

all over the place

then the Church frightens them away..

 -very like a Rabbi I knew

at a Synagogue where I had been

who would yell constantly

angrily at his congregation

Why? I had to ask one day, so you yell so

because they are such bad bu**ers I was told!

 I had to smile

when visiting St  Petersburg at a dinner

I pointed to a lovely barometer

German said the hostess proudly

brought by my grandfather from the Black Forest

but you know the purges

nearly everyone is part german here

but we all had to burn or destroy all our past

but I managed to save that

 after a while a little group of girls gathered

most of them LOVE religion out there

and I always have them discuss and debate

the Ten Commandments in class

as all law is based on them

and they need to understand them

then they talk about what they believe

including the young men who strongly announce

'I believe in myself only..'

there are also refugee tales I could tell them to that

but I desist..

 Take us to Church Miss they begged

so one Sunday morning we set off

one half hours on the bus into the city

one hour on the bus to the right place

lost a time or two

finally we got there

the English Mass had finished

stay I told my girls

another is about to begin

 no one understood the language

another large catholic community

very beautiful singing but different order

Mary didn't understand it either

(she felt herself to be an authority on these things)

and all the girls followed us two

finally methought

that must be Communion

come Mary I said

all the girls followed into the line

(you can never tell them at first

it is only for catholics)

 a basket with a lacy cloth over it

I dipped my hand in

thinking how every catholic in the world also..

and fetched out... an RMB

a chinese coin

being watched curiously

too late,

Mary was already dipping in

bringing out a coin

the girls were in a line behind

we had to get the girls back

and returned to their seats

as some of them might not

relinquish their coins so easily

 and I am not talking

of the time

we went to Mass at St Bernadettes

and toddler Jonathan dropped the plate

and one year older Ryan thought wey hey

all those pennies and silver

and started filling his pockets

Big Sister and Big Brother Shaun

embarrassed turned away

so there I was unfilling the little pockets

back into the plate

got it all I hope

 The girls did not understand at all

and decided it was a lot of nothing

but getting money was a jolly good thing

we didn't tell them they were supposed to give

but the congregants

where ever it was

they had all come from

living presently in Beijing

giggled under their hankies

 I never did manage to explain

but have had many laughs

in many places and countries

over many mishaps

and people are always wonderful..

 WHERE TO NEXT

 disastrous war

might as well develop south-america now

 it'll be a free for all

at first the whites skills will dominate

 then it'll be an Indian and black overturn

there are only seventeen per cent of us in the world

 but that's where to put your money now

The chinese are already viewing

 they have a lovely saying:

where ever the americans don't go

 we go....what about starting with Patagonia

no wonder Thatcher hung onto the Falklands..

 but that woman loved her country what ever she was

unlike some who have followed her!

 say that lot, the english are awful, really horrible

we prefer the germans, they keep their noses to themselves

 just what the Africans said, most of our lot

are heading back east once we have the money

 we don't really reckon YOUR style democracy at all

and the Isle population-stress and weather stinks.

 CHINA QUOTE

''tell them to cool the thing

about China

 and about Tibet

they are all telling the same story

 absolutely identical-

it's become like the german thing

 but they show  marks on their bodies

yes, well, those also can be got''

 was the quote which was interesting

and why I like the americans

 you can befuddle them for a while

then common sense takes over

 delete delete delete orders St Barths from the machine

I don't keep secrets, that is how wars are made!

 and last night cleverly said on tv

makes you think at times

 we have five times your population

(five?) and ten times less crime in China!

 so which system works and as for me

I don't believe in democracy anymore at all

 I listen to crimes in Tibet and make no excuses

but sit here going through unbelieveable pain

 with no where to complain

knowing what else this lab have done to innocent people

 I know all the reasons and shortcomings

bothwestern and of the East

 the chinese 'do' criminals according to their law

whilst over here we 'do' the most innocent by remote-

 begging is not permitted in China

at times a blind eye is turned

 they are supposed to be in the appropriate place

even at my local Catholic Church at my first city of teaching

 one only sat outside, a catholic who then joined into Mass

there were two thousand catholics in that city

 and many other churches and temples sign posted

mainline Churches are not frowned upon

 Catholics have good Posts if law abiding

I was delivered to and from Church by catholic friends

 in one of those big black cars which seemed quite fun

and yes, back way back then, they closed the nunneries

 this is why, the population not fed, starving, births needed control

good or bad, emergency measures were in force

 the law says you may worship what or whom you please

but you should NOT coerce anyone else

 I have always been given Sundays off in China

have always been respected for my Beliefs or what ever

 work round the system, teaching Christmas Day

pupils bring food and films, party time

 can't have Good Friday off

all pupils in the class come to Church to study architecture

 there are a dozen and one easy ways round every 'problem'

which cause no one any pain

 my only agro is those who yell they are Christian

to get a free passage to the West, annoying blighters

 in Muslim countries too, follow laws but stand firm to your rules

why fly a red rag at a bull, use a white flag if it is more productive

 by the same token when Muslims here shout at me

about how the Bible and literature are linked so need to be learnt

 my short answer is, you decided to come here

we did not force you to come, you have to live in our Culture

 o.k. I try never to take sides as ALL parts have good and bad

democracy means: not what you think it means-

 it is merely better bureacracy to cover all ill doings!

the rest the chinese are working at, and others try to work at

 that nice bit for the rest of the population who abide

and 'who are the north Americans

 who claim they have just taken all her work?

oh, more jews..,'

 You will find, said the lab, that the jews are into taking

from Huns who helped them live through Hitler!

 CAREER FOR FRIENDS OF THE LAB

  alyson needed a career

she was a dud painter

painted all my stuff for the lab

wrote all my stuff for the lab

but had no qualifications what so ever

 she needed raising

the lab St Barths Behavoural Science

raises all friends and all those whom it uses

who use my work automatic passes

or use a prgramme of abuse and theft

which uses me as its centre

 Now why three days ago

did someone suddenly press my lungs so hard

that even I was in severe pain beyond bearing

and then during the night pressed my skull so hard

that it hurt all day

the quack Miller usually used to do that

bashed my skull to shreds

especially during lessons

daddy of Fay who intoned

my daddy works with the retarded

after they had given her all my work

with guarantees to sell

(why do all jews want to be painters and writers

and copy Hungarians work as theirs?)

and the lab laughed

and added

and usually kills them..

 It's ok, we put on the file

which spins and spins

not the old M.P. is the child molester

it all goes on her file

everyone's misdeeds

so all our sadistic killers have an excuse

we are each one of us

supposed to destroy every part of your life

your health, family, work and everything

 and it has continued ..

for the others, maimed, dead and the rest -

their thieves continue to rob the house endlessly

the up to the total limit pain each has to produce

on the machine of death

then slowly they have to dacker it down

and I am supposed to believe

or make others believe it was 'just pain'

though they use us for their experiments

and the microsound goes endlessly

 'Kill her dead, three or four women could lose their jobs

we have to destroy her reputation everywhere

in education too, that is in hand,

however professional she is

we do it by tuning people

but they don't know about that technique yet

the americans kept it secret

she-victim only guessed because she thinks

and mother was an interpreter for the russian von-Braun

they keep their eyes and ears open

whilst talking about the food at Marks and Spencers

we don't tell governments what we are doing

and we call that 'challenging her' (me)

her grandfather came from a small market town in Hungary

force her back there and then push her down further...

 Alyson is no better than I am says lab Anna

-oh well birds of a feather

Can I work with you she wanted to know

-No, this works only because I move everyone around

I qualify the unqualifyable

they get a professional qualification

then I move them to a good post

then they are lost in the system

Let the copers sort it out

except they can't

cause they don't know the technology

and the lab England's political police

uses them too!

 We have already understood

lab Anna will lie on the stand

and tell all others what to lie

 My God, I didn't know it was developed so far

the clever americans who gave it to the worst criminals

who have added their own blend of sadism to it

what a shame

The Time - Watch people will discover in time

they WILL find out one day

just keep telling the truth

though we know you say very little of what you know

how ever much they ridicule you

how ever much the lab destroys all your hard work

how ever much they destroy your successes

 pressing heart badly now

my computer is tied to theirs at the lab

and I am on screen

all I say and do is seen

microsound

I wanted to give you a heart attack or collapsed lungs

and put you into hospital

it says you signed for it

 you fool, added lab Anna

it is not a proper form...keep that out of it

pressing lungs badly now

and I have to teach the rest of the day

 until someone tumbles on us

we will carry on destroying, using, destroying using

destroying, using, destroying, using..

  THE AMERICANS

 alyson needed a career

she was a dud painter

painted all my stuff for the lab

wrote all my stuff for the lab

but had no qualifications what so ever

 she needed raising

the lab St Barths Behavoural Science

raises all friends and all those whom it uses

who use my work automatic passes

or use a prgramme of abuse and theft

which uses me as its centre

 Now why three days ago

did someone suddenly press my lungs so hard

that even I was in severe pain beyond bearing

and then during the night pressed my skull so hard

that it hurt all day

the quack Miller usually used to do that

bashed my skull to shreds

especially during lessons

daddy of Fay who intoned

my daddy works with the retarded

after they had given her all my work

with guarantees to sell

(why do all jews want to be painters and writers

and copy Hungarians work as theirs?)

and the lab laughed

and added

and usually kills them..

 It's ok, we put on the file

which spins and spins

not the old M.P. is the child molester

it all goes on her file

everyone's misdeeds

so all our sadistic killers have an excuse

we are each one of us

supposed to destroy every part of your life

your health, family, work and everything

 and it has continued ..

for the others, maimed, dead and the rest -

their thieves continue to rob the house endlessly

the up to the total limit pain each has to produce

on the machine of death

then slowly they have to dacker it down

and I am supposed to believe

or make others believe it was 'just pain'

though they use us for their experiments

and the microsound goes endlessly

 'Kill her dead, three or four women could lose their jobs

we have to destroy her reputation everywhere

in education too, that is in hand,

however professional she is

we do it by tuning people

but they don't know about that technique yet

the americans kept it secret

she-victim only guessed because she thinks

and mother was an interpreter for the russian von-Braun

they keep their eyes and ears open

whilst talking about the food at Marks and Spencers

we don't tell governments what we are doing

and we call that 'challenging her' (me)

her grandfather came from a small market town in Hungary

force her back there and then push her down further...

 Alyson is no better than I am says lab Anna

-oh well birds of a feather

Can I work with you she wanted to know

-No, this works only because I move everyone around

I qualify the unqualifyable

they get a professional qualification

then I move them to a good post

then they are lost in the system

Let the copers sort it out

except they can't

cause they don't know the technology

and the lab England's political police

uses them too!

 We have already understood

lab Anna will lie on the stand

and tell all others what to lie

 My God, I didn't know it was developed so far

the clever americans who gave it to the worst criminals

who have added their own blend of sadism to it

what a shame

The Time - Watch people will discover in time

they WILL find out one day

just keep telling the truth

though we know you say very little of what you know

how ever much they ridicule you

how ever much the lab destroys all your hard work

how ever much they destroy your successes

 pressing heart badly now

my computer is tied to theirs at the lab

and I am on screen

all I say and do is seen

microsound

I wanted to give you a heart attack or collapsed lungs

and put you into hospital

it says you signed for it

 you fool, added lab Anna

it is not a proper form...keep that out of it

pressing lungs badly now

and I have to teach the rest of the day

 until someone tumbles on us

we will carry on destroying, using, destroying using

destroying, using, destroying, using..

  MYRTLE

 says the lab

give Myrtle the play she wrote

and you Emma

the many sneak thieves

tuned by us from our lab

especially our lab parkis

all around her

will continue thieving the works

and paintings and what they fancy

 and she, me says to you

do you recall in the England of old

they would put people into the stocks

then the citizens would throw cabbage at them

the prisoner guilty or not

could not defend themselves

 and do you recall

when the British took over from the Moguls

they hunted down the kings four sons

brought their heads and placed them on the throne

then dragged the old King through the streets

before throwing him into a darkened dungeon

to finish his life

 and do you recall

how Africa had many Kings

but they would have been standing

when meeting the Great British Queen

so they had to demote them to tribal chiefs

to ensure everyone had to kneel to the Queen

 and do you recall

how the new world happened

corruption on this Isle

was so bad

and its people here so badly abused

they fled to any corner of the world

to escape their own Ministries

not much changes with these island savages, does it

 one I wrote on the BE'd

English specialist

at Sheffield Polytechnic

from which the lab terrorised me

after two years and in the classrooms-

as well as poetry and short stories

I wrote plays one or two

 all is lodged on the computer

at St Barths Behavioural Science

which takes and makes prisoners

from the community

breaks people and makes its friends

to the top to cover its own terrors

 this prison is for life

we took them prisoner in 1983

 if we release them

so we cannot control every action

every word every farthing

close every door as she tries to open it

we of the lab all face prison

some of it for manslaughter

prisoners for life....

 laugh, came to the West for freedom

from the dictatorship of the East

 Go to the United Nations they say

but please kind Sirs

tell me how

they even block a simple police visit...

 lab Parkis blocking all post to friends in Russia now

''we just tear up the envelopes and what is inside them

and any email we don't like is deselected

anything in which we had a hand

and anything about parki bad behaviour in the land..

 it keeps circling, circling, spinning

spinning as the L.A. Jew there taught

each crime is repeated

each torture concreted

worse than worst communist China here now

 Lauren lab jewish wife of the lab axe man says

I dread going on the stand

Anna lab bossess just says

say this and say that

has no conception of what lies are

and I can cheat but not lie very well

 but how can you run-

with a ninety one year old mum

still alive and kicking

who BELIEVES in the british democracy

it's the KGB doing all this she thinks!

I know better................

 THIS BRAVE NEW WORLD

 they did what?

they manipulated a nervous breakdown

for the Princess

for so many women

and me too

all of it unseen

done remote

they divorce everyone

then have the women

do what they do

bossess has had over fifty lovers

and cruises with no underwear on

in the evenings in her car

She feels this is normal behaviour

for normal women

 They have used these toys and tools

in mental homes

for a long long time

and the lab St Barths

is so guilty its only scare

it dare not be caught

our State hides and raises them

 which banks did your victim use

in an effort to save their little

the money from the sale of the family house

to be able to leave this Island of horrors for ever

where tiny helpless women

who work very hard to try to keep body and soul together

have money robbed from their bank accounts

by lab workers, toilet cleaners turned expert

personnell controllers and such

never had a holiday

wear second hand clothes

have second hand furniture

eat cheapest vegetables

don't drink

don't smoke

nothing all just to save enough to leave

 so they get the lab pakis

to take a thousand there

and a thousand there

at the Deutsche Bank

as soon as I put my money from teaching in

a whole months money

when is studied there for a year

(twin Uni of mine in London)

the lab had it disappear immediately

so I would be left penniless with rent to pay

 Then they gave a young Polish girl known to thieve

the same bank card as mine

she took out thousands

and I had no way to prove

so I had to take out what was left of my Grant

she is permanently on the scanner now

They over rid my tv programme once

to show me her visiting London

who knows if she will get cancer or not

but wants desperately to marry a german

as they all do

Now there's a turn around!

 this tv thing is a constant thing

they once showed a little boy being abused

which they had tuned

they say they take no sides

just make the crimes to see them in detail

Even the Nazis were not that mad

but criminals will be criminals even when in a lab

and they have the power from the POWER

hey wasn't it Hitler too

where chicken farmers became state leaders

every single parrallel is met by the lab

only they wear white coats instead of black

 and get this

the leaders are all in this

so every country I go to

I face the same rubbish

but britain is the worst

as they run it

and it eminates from here

and the lab here has committed

so many murders

lab pakistanis killing whites

called

''accidents in the making''

what can you do

when a country doesn't care for its own

that is why I prefer america

the british have a death wish it would seem!

 give every bank a present

give every member of those banks a present

for the thousands and thousands

the lab syphoned off

 the L.A. jew who designed this

(let's not forget Blaire and the whole nest here

are all jewish so let any crime happen

as my grandad who fed jews during the Nazis used to say

the whole island sits on jewish money)

L.A. jew said the victim must be left in poverty

with nothing, every dirty trick to be tried

though hard working and saving east europeans

 the lab killed Ukrainian uncle

the lab played all the Ukrainians in our community

who would never complain or even guess

after having Uncle change his will

to give it to...........

 remember this was an american jew who designed it:

(nothing personal, he is supposed to have said

I am just saving members of my own system

a lie, as we were absolutely no threat to anyone)

Uncle left all HIS hard earned savings

on his death bed to--

a girl in Russia!

a real russian by the way

(I wonder if you guys out there understand that

I am a different generation

I have nothing against the russians

three million Ukrainians died of starvation

in two months in the winter of '33

as Moscow took every scrap of food from them)

as the girl's aunt was our best friend

at the Elsham refugee camp

who had already thousands and were childless

till the lab put her on the scanner

 the lab says my pay off was:

the bosses of the Health Minstry and Pensions Ministry

watching us in our own home

and advising me constantly

 these so called bosses' constant advice?

 get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.....

get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.

 ASLAM NOW

 There is a new rat in the lab looks in his twenties

that is why torture was particularly bad

and he used the womb irritator all morning

though I am sixty two years old

 they tell them it is a trial

that the United Nations allowed it

that Annan signed for it

that world could be used by this criminal lab for crimes

 and then they say you signed for it

all secret, secret, top secret

and we are told a file of lies by jewish doctors so called

that you were supposed to make up

 the money and life we stole from you

well yes, sighed Mister english man

there is always someone vulnerable about

for use by this mob which ran Hitler's concentration Camps

 as the scarved women swarmed into the shop

well fed and happy at so much hand outs

all in their new clothes

as I return from the second hand market

 with some old clothes

which the Pakistani Carer stole

from my ninety one year old mother

we came back then to rebuild their island

 and as I sat and watched the hoards

no, I don't care, the english are asking for it

kicking and using them to rob us

who helped them and using lies

 one favourite 'it was long ago'

since eighty four lab Anna uses that one lie

and today all russian post withheld for a long time

who has robbed her post she asked

 because the Jewess lauren robbed the post

you have all got to rob her post

all rob her bank account

all rob her work and torture her and her family

 One city in England they admit

already has a larger coloured population than white

but the english lab keeps kicking us

because we are helpless to help ourselves

 a new rat in the lab

given all my bank account numbers

will rob more and take more

a thousand each they are told take

 so she can never move out of the country

having sold their family home to leave

as they hand over and hand over

allowance this and benefit that and money for that

 to the never ending stream of women in scarves!

I wonder when the lab will hit the refineries

The mother of all spins will shake the world to its very foundations

the earth will shudder in fear but it might be good or not good

 said the Americans and the black americans

are all coming here too that's how good it is over there

we'll stay here while its good  I heard our coloured over takers

Now new rat at St Barths Human Research, you have

 your targets of torture and robbery

and you actually thought

Auschwitz and Belsen

Theresienstadt and the rest had gone did you?#

 'and here some new unread stuff you can use'

put this in this is from Jesopps hospital, a lie

but we have had that knocked down already

(they move or knock down all they use)

 says lab Anna from the computer

Anna who is described as the most evil woman

who ever lived far above those of the KZ lagers

victim made notes all over the place at Uni

 and Uni writers groups and other places

I will have them robbed from her home later

its Oxford and Cambridge men

and Tyne Tees Prof joining in the gang bang.

EARLY SENILITY

 we'll tell the americans

after we have finished all the cons

after we have done all the scams

after there's nothing left to follow

what we have used

of what they have given us

says the lab St Barths

 say the Americans

we are nothing like as damaging

as the Brits

 but we are as one

the US and us

we are cousins after all

and go hand in hand

(actually, thought one Yank

my forebears were germans!)

you can't tell on us

we are together in all things

 for years now

they have been lasering and pressing

the brain and skull

the nerves and veins

in the poor head of the victim

during the night

 the aim is to create

very early senility

once she forgets

no one will know

 No one will know

and we can do what we wish

and have done as we wish

using clever language

on this language teacher

and the general population at large

 what they don't know

can not hurt anyone

and least of all us

 Just keep hitting her

night after night

added Dr Meyer...

 SUE HER

 One reader out there

reading all my work no doubt

enquired curiously

why doesn't someone sue me?

 No one sues me

because it is the truth I write

and if they sued me

the truth would out

 To sue costs thousands

and months and years

of wasted time and life

over here in our democratic system

 One woman we have just heard of

had to pay twenty thousand

to sue someone when she was attacked

do you know how much twenty thousand pounds is?

 If 'they' sued me

I could speak

without having to bear the costs

how nice that would be

 so no one sues me

as long as I have a care how I write

because what I write is right

and to sue me would prove this Right!

 we should have a system

like they have in Spain

where if someone has done you

there is a collumn in newspapers for it to become known!

 IMPRINT OF CANCER

 it is an experiment

is what the lab calls

riding rough shod over the law

which they totally ignore

 so another invention

not only do they put imprints

of those who have been in the lab

(means they can peek at everything)

 they are using my imprint

on young teachers they have chosen

to tune them to perform my work

as they now scan brains onto machines

 see folk, I was voted top teacher

at a College though the oldest there

by thousands of students

and when I teach I guarantee

 The lab has been pressuring and blocking

throw a spanner in the works where ever I go

so now this young teacher has all my notes

all my lesson plans and asked for more

 because long ago, Pam Civil Servant of Pensions Ministry

who has a daughter studying Germanic and used in this 'trial'

was given all my notes lodged illegally on the lab computer

and given an A for my work, not her true value

 however does this young cheat of a teacher

realise that using the imprint of me

might make her successful in my way

means she is liable to get cancer from it

 as so many others already have and died

having had no choice..

enough for the moment they tell her

your courses (copied) are so successful

 and China has gone soft

Beijing USA College is on the London screen

and all its people and all they do and say

some due for cancer ofcourse.

 A WORLD COMPUTER

 it is an experiment

is what the lab calls

riding rough shod over the law

which they totally ignore

 so another invention

not only do they put imprints

of those who have been in the lab

(means they can peek at everything)

 they are using my imprint

on young teachers they have chosen

to tune them to perform my work

as they now scan brains onto machines

 see folk, I was voted top teacher

at a College though the oldest there

by thousands of students

and when I teach I guarantee

 The lab has been pressuring and blocking

throw a spanner in the works where ever I go

so now this young teacher has all my notes

all my lesson plans and asked for more

 because long ago, Pam Civil Servant of Pensions Ministry

who has a daughter studying Germanic and used in this 'trial'

was given all my notes lodged illegally on the lab computer

and given an A for my work, not her true value

 however does this young cheat of a teacher

realise that using the imprint of me

might make her successful in my way

means she is liable to get cancer from it

 as so many others already have and died

having had no choice..

enough for the moment they tell her

your courses (copied) are so successful

 and China has gone soft

Beijing USA College is on the London screen

and all its people and all they do and say

some due for cancer ofcourse.

 THE TORRE CANYON

that was us

and that was us

 the Dalai Lama was on the machine too

he had to give an answer to me

to the issues raised by the lab

which were supposed to be me

that was a bit rough of you lot

said the lab 'that shook that lot up a bit'

the warning initially was though

be warned

it will really shake things up

 and everyone I used and use

is gifted now

 they still havn't asked

what does this machine do

at the moment

there are only three women

in the lab taking turns at torment

 and all my bank statements

are missing yet again

so the present lady

will be a-robbing again

(thieves enter our house constantly)

try telling the police this

I had fifty five entries in one year in London

 She'll climb to the top

was on the file

so we have to destroy her

this has to benefit one of mine

then wipe it off the file

 Remove the cancer and skin stuff

very little by very little from the machine

and find some nasties about her old mother

our american Solly from Friends

who has already used her work

''I'll work all this through again''

(oh God, we lost all to save jews then)

 don't bother to hide in Russia

they are in on it too

as you well know

but you never say

as you know it wouldn't be believed

(all internal weaknesses tested)

 destroy her reputation as a teacher

--get one pupil to say

I have found a metaphor / as - like

we at the lab who listen to your lessons

are now getting quite clever

then say the Miss didn't tell me the difference

we have to find ways of destroying your reputation

 I lab Anna, intended to leave one painting untouched

of the stream of your life you have painted

I must have seen it in a film

as nothing I Anna do has to do with brains or logic!

 my mother who never joined the Nazi party

but met the top as an interpreter

never talks of it

it isn't important, they were maniacs

and now I have the same situation

it isn't important, they are maniacs!

 BEN

  Said the lab put onto the media

that Ben was seen on a bench

or something like that

it will make what we have done

seem like fiction then

 the bench comes from maximising

one of my long ago friends

was one day seen on a bench

by my children coming home

from their catholic school

St Bede's in Scunny town

 this woman later dumped her kids

and her old man

and set up with a toy boy

as did several of my friends

it seems to be a thing

the British do I have found

 ''Cull this work to Wales''

-we'll develop her

sleep experiments on the tv

on me they used the remote

which leaves you with a sick feeling

but you can barely drag yourself up

they used this when I was in China too

oh and start a running sore

 The running sore comes from a colleague

in america who had a sore on his willy

probably another one lab Anna comforted

they put it all on the file

then they have to use each fact

in every possible way

to maximise everything

 and the 'I took a hundred here and there'

was the Tory M.P. Archie

who had also been an ex lover

I wonder if they have ever worked out their order

and the account he took it from

was mine, a private citizen!

a lone woman and a lone kids

and octogenarian refugee

scared out of her life

who wouldn't say against england

to save her life

 We find the worst opinion ever

spoken against each of you

real spite no matter who

use that as the general opinion

and try to bring everyone's opinion

down to that one

Lab Anna used you

because you people never complain

nor do you gossip

so no one would really ever find out

the hints you put into your writing

no one but us understands

 brave people these english

arn't they!

 THE PRINCE

 you thought social experiments were illegal

so did I

 The lab feels the Prince should do a whistle stop tour

covering what we have done

 usually we do what we did to you

to women in mental homes though remote

you had to cope with everything on your own

new city, new situations, University, kids alone, penniless

 we give our thieves heaven for using you

you get the hell says the tv

 we put someone on the interpals or something

and say that is your payment for us using your body and work

torture last night was pretty bad

we connect you rarely lasts long and we destroy all family ties

 we said Sarah was at fault for your situation, who was Sarah

the jewish Minister who enjoyed lab Anna's rear at the Ministry

we had gone too far so we had to destroy you

now we extreme, the government permits silent torture and murder

 the lab changed your Uni marks so the work had to disappear

the lab gave your creative work away so it had to disappear

 all your mother's clothes, all the thefts from your house

the treasured russian boxes, the sketch books, the writing books

from BE'd, from Sheffield University writers group

from the Spanish Schools is all in your neighbour hood

 we get them to sort out our problem then spread lies about you

and the last two days we have been razing your eye nerves

 torture was pretty bad last night

worse than the night before, even America has fallen

 said the notary persons:

if the Lords (old Sarah's the back side player of lab Anna)

permitted it, we can't do anything about it

Only the Russians refuse to come into the lab,

how can we get them in and onto our screen

 said lab Anna: I can't let her have her work back

not with people like Friedlander in it who used it all from me..

and Maureen 'Lipman' and all the other jews I gave it to

the people will cheer if the Prince shows himself!

 PUBLICANS

 we have this machine

this machine can do anything

anything is possible now

no one stops us doing anything

anything which takes our fancy

all will be cleared in the next century

 bit like this will be the war

to end all wars

 we make a file to use of issues

and put it on her name to hex

so we could play around with sex

the lab Pakistanis ask

it says she drinks

does she drink

what does she drink

does she drink beer

 doesn't drink or smoke

today's quotes repeated

so lab Pakistani tried to press her chest with laser

I'll make her chest as bad as one who smokes

but doesn't drink at all

 lets have a go at some pubs

kill a few publicans

 we have a machine which can do anything

the biggest secret in the world

the hoy polloy have not yet discovered

too busy to check or find out

it can do anything

keep talking about bombs and things

every machine in her house has been broken

precisely with the laser from the machine

 they won't know what hit them

they'll be dead before they know what hit them........

 the machine in a London lab.

 THROUGH THE WINDOW

  lying in bed this morning

passers by speaking

this is another old one they use constantly

it is a relief when I go abroad to silent windows

the stinks and problems there are as nothing in comparison

 Meyer's voice said

stupid cow (me) she signed she'll give us everything

(actually I signed a nurses form at West Ham Community Health

in May 1991 yelled at by Nurse Hughes

stomped out for half an hour

but I had a mortgage

with no copy and not able to read it)

 Now Peter next door to her in Plashet Road

has all her work too

he also has our cancer

one of those on our machine

 weeps a lab paki voice

I didn't understand the pain limit

(normal torture continues daily but at a lower level

since my return from the States holiday)

that is why I put it onto full intensity for months and months

 that is one of her passages

I recognise it

so the States are using her work too

america is also under the british hammer

(Friends and one or two others have been using it for a long while

I recognise it, but it is lightweight general stuff

not monologues of total writing as the lab did)

 they've taken excessing and free hand outs to its ultimate limit

english fashion

contempt for life

corrupt to the core

world wide for their own popularity

outlawed in the States obsolete programmes

 why is all this happening

lab Anna beamed incursions into private citizens lives

for many decades now

''interesting bits'' from bedrooms

watching husbands and wives

lovers and engaged couples

to her lovers in the Big Apple sister lab

that is how they spend their days

illegally watching private citizens

and messing with them

the beaming looped all over the place

and a torso appeared

so then they made some sex films sticking on heads

and put them through all strong receivers world wide

 lab anna says she has a hobby horse

the sizes of members

lab students were found to be copying my work

from the lab computer as their thesis

and lab members copying all work to print as their own

including the bossess Anna

who sat on my dad who was a well known writer

so she could impress the Health Ministry

so they had to either destroy my ability to work

or my work

and decided to give it to everyone world wide

from the machine on which we are prisoners

use us as lab rats to train her evil staff on

(why do researchers

have to know how to syphon bank accounts?)

 and they now proudly declare

we are the SS or the KGB of Britain..

but no one can catch us

with our american friends taxes and help!

 SCUM TURNED

 she is running again

east, west anywhere away from blighty

this is coming through the wall

they all use that one

in Plashet road they used Esther Rantzen's voice

threatening me through the wall

 they said you were scum

now they will say you said someone is scum

though you make it a point never to talk of people

and nothing is made good which we do

they keep on repeating making it worse and worse

the kids (who are adult men) don't care

they get a good pay

they never question anything at all

 there wasn't a response there or anywhere nearly

put one in, imagine one, make it horrific

and don't imagine Anna of the lab cares about lying

it is her way of life

 Lauren who falsified the papers said the other morning

I am really worried about going on the stand

now you are contemplating sueing

Anna just says : say that and say that

to her lying is a way of life

but we are still playing with you and your family for life

 now to separate Shaun from the family

the family has to be divided it says on the file

(Hitler and Stalin did this one too)

we used the old lady all her life to make her sick

but we used old Semen when he was sick making him worse

 we want her out of Paki Homes (teaching) says the lab paki

she might talk to them, they believe her

-say that she doesn't respond well with our children

- they have used some of them to rob our house

their own children, turned them into thieves!-

 now we the lab are insured to the hilt

time for some insurance companies to collapse

('I can Northern Rock any company' said Anna)

every insult real or imagined has to be paid back

 the BBC has apologised for its part (really?)

and we will tell the President of Pakistan our truths

we have more tricks we want to try out

 I sell more now the lab sells me of her work

than I could ever have dreamed of

All the lab stooges have made heaps of money

royalties for your work to her copiers pours into them

and they have so much they are buying second homes

-if only you had had a bit of loose sex for Anna

you too could have been made rich by her-

 excess, simplify -

your work is hidden in the filth Anna wrote

they call that mix and match,

but I will find it

I will find it

the truth will never be found in this monster trial of evil...

 I am a fool

I admit that

but you know

our family has always been truthful and honest

and many times

in many situations across Europe

others have sold their souls

and disappeared

but we are still here

Maybe it is true what the lab says

maybe there is no God

or any such test of honesty

but we have to believe in something

and as former Mongols

we know that to trust our neighbours

is the greatest strength

greater than all gifts

spend your dirty, stolen gold

and dirty yourselves...

 QUOTES ON QUOTES

I eat it says the file

I being lab Anna of St Barths

(try some caviar dear!)

 well poets

in the sixties when I grew up

we did leap frogs on wooden horses in gyms

not on young men as they do now on tv

and as for eating sperm or throating

which these London ladessess do do

and I had never heard of till recently

the stuff these Ministers and Civil Servants get up to

in their Ministry offices and well, ministries!

 Old Sunny Scunny and our tough steelworkers

were really not quite up to that

My lebanese school mate

with her 'counting off' all the business men's sons

jewish most of them,

was about our limit

and I had a job supporting her as a friend

 so the lab have been told follow instructions

I am NOT to be allowed any happiness

because that will loosen me up

(put losen, it sounds better said lab Anna)

because the lab had a plan and she would not follow

adding to the present copying artist

adjust it

simplify it

then you can say it is your work not hers

don't worry I will have the originals robbed and destroyed

 and in China they called her the wonderful old teacher

well the lab Pakis informed me

we can't have that

we are going to put over horrid things

destroy your reputation

(they do incidentally

that is why I don't believe what they say about the Princess

she was on the same programme at the lab so I know)

''they'll all remember nasty things

we will make them up

we call it spinning..

and increase the drawing skills

of all we used and even those we gave cancer to

the young Prince will be amazed when he finds what he can do!''

given him remote for what we did to them'' I quote.

 it is all backed up and blocked

your life is forfeit to the lab

(I don't want to be forfeit to anyone

we didn't survive all the way West for this)

they will never catch the lab now

the wrong is the mother of all wrong doers

 so science is destroying the last human trait

its art and communication

along with love, decency and loyalty

 we will restore it later....they added

like the milk Thatcher took, I wonder?

and I took a hundred there from your account

and a hundred there says the lab

even Archie, conservative, ex lover and help

of anna lab bossess, will paint

and everyone knows lawyers cost thousands just for a letter

so the lab have got her again as they are now poor

 for robbing her old mother by the Ministry of Pensions

of the total life savings of their old dad

whom the lab manslaughtered

(they don't have murder here)

taxing her small life savings as a millionaire

please

give the british nation a rebate of some sort

(like when they lost my post

the lose all the pensioners books in the post

it is called spinning!)

 so, how strong was the womb tingle

Anna of the lab put onto the Princess

and was the machine ever switched off

did Anna direct the lovemaking

as Steve did that of the Prince

and said over my radio

''I taught the prince to play''

and I quote...

 SOCRATES

 by what show of arguement

the accusers of  of us

would persuade all and sundry

that we and particularly I

have forfeited our lives and life

to the lab St Barths Behavrioural Science

(not withstanding Lauren

falsifier of forms

 for though the crimes laid unto our charge

were great indeed

that she did not acknowledge the gods of england

that she introduced new ones

and farther

that she debauched teh youth

yet none of these

in the least

could be proven against the Miss

 For, as to the first

she taught the english well and with enthusiasm

to all who listened toher

bringing a love for the land of england to all

which had been hers long since

before the betrayal by the Queen and Country

 and instead of paying no homage to his country

he was frequently seen to assist sacrifice to them

both in his own family and in the temples of education

perpetually worshipping them to all the public in a solemn manner

 because they said he received genius from her forebears

intelligence so he must be accused of introducing the truth

 she frequently told all her students

that they could do or not do,

according to the instructions

what they believed in

but those who followed her advice

always found advantage in it

how could she avoid this censure

she is either a liar or a visionary

if the events had not justified the truth

of the things he pretended were revealed to her

she would not have spoken of them

if she did not believe them to be the truth

 though she advised friends what to do

if in cases which were doubtful

she would always send them to the Ten Commandments

though she believed that everyman should make a choice

of the conditions in life by which he or she lived

there are greater truths to be found

 what is even more surprising

the claim of debauchery of the youth

a most sober and chaste person

but not inclined to make a mountain out of a molehill

who could not easily be startled

 using always good texts

then how could she teach impiety

injustice, gluttony, impurity and luxury

 hey man, I laugh a little at us the human race

'cause on the whole

we take ourselves too seriously

and some think they are God incarnate

not a man here for a short time

and get so befuddled they need laughing at

 but that being that

she always tried to reclaim persons

and inspire them with love of virtue

putting in them hopes

 yet she never promised any man to teach them

they must learn to be taught

ok so she never neglected herself

and makes sure she is comfortable

but you know

a sick person is incapable of doing anything

and to work well

she herself needs to be comfortable enough

keep your own house in order

and everyone keep their house in order

and you have order...what!

 the accusers say that she taught to despise

she affirmed it to be a folly by elect

ok only God is perfect

mankind is flawed in every way

and we still aspire.....

 I teach the young to think

I teach the young not just to accept but to check

I teach them to read enough to have a background for protest

I teach them if they don't want to protest that is ok too.......

I teach and I teach well so go to hell..........

 TEACHING

  We tell them you have given your life to us

and being a DP and refugee

and fatherless

you had so many advantages

well I have never been one to complain

but try to look at the positive

 we have given all your lesson plans

to an english teacher of our choice

we do not like this damned foreigner

being voted top teacher in colleges

being liked and respected for her teaching abilities

this has to stop it has to be OUR success

 on top of that

we change your CV

and change letters of recommendation now

so that they see a different picture to the true one

and get former pupils to say nasty things

it isn't enough to spread nasty gossip in your area

you move all over the place

and your calm quiet firm manner is too much liked for our taste

 I the lab Bossess rule the world

I will say what goes

well, I did say I suppose I had a bit of a God complex

and we british have always ripped off the stripes from uniforms

 now hear what I, little poetess lady have to say

considering what they do to me

and how they continue

now consider this

the Princess was also a victim

--the lab calls me

a sacrifice for them--

I don't feel much like a sacrifice

but I don't know how a sacrifice should feel

I know I once respected the british

am so like them it is unbelievable

yet know I scorn them

as lower than the snakes of the desert

and I don't mean that damned snake god of India either

consider what they do to me

and draw your own conclusions about the dear Princess..

 they are liars, liars, liars..........to the core

liars

the Princess was in the lab

the Princess was on that machine

the Princess had a programme written by lab bossess Anna

that is all I am saying

and trying to give me cancer

with all the money the States and Brussels has given you

will no longer shut me up

 MURDERERS...LEGAL MURDERERS

with your damned legal government of cowards

there are not enough white feathers in the world for you lot...

 Did you all know that Hitler got in legally too!

 microsound: now get another comic in

to copy all her work yet again on our crummy media....

 ARBROATH AGAIN

 Your tax money

millions of it

Brussels and the States

has paid for the mother of all illegal

let us call it experiments..

experiment in England

is another word for undetectable crimes

by the lousiest load of criminals

since Auschwitz

which was also run by this self same system

 declared the lab

(I often tell you what they put out)

there will be no melt down

it has already happened

this has been it

planes crashed

trains bashed and all the rest

most of what happened was us

the killings and destruction

of this last decade

trying out all the stuff negatively

by british criminals covering their backs

permitted by a corrupt government

-let's get on with it then-

which the clever americans have found and outlawed

brought from the clever germans before them

turned nasty and spiteful and criminal by the Brits

 so on Bus eighty eight yesterday

gong to grannies who is ninety one

after teaching the Somalian girls english

(I don't mind them

they get favours but are real refugees

unlike the pakis

though we got no favours-

they brought as work donkeys

and now continue to use as lab rats)

this is a daily occurance every where I go by the way

-in their twisted terminology

it is called 'surrounding' someone...

and means using them day and night

and all those around them

grandly they proclaim

it will be this only once

batter the shit out of everyone - now

 what do they mean, once only

the lab have been using it for at least two decades now

and messed with dozens and dozens of individuals

in their private lives according to their own amusement

and all the lab have deaths on their slates

 an older woman with a white bun in a black indian coat

got on the bus, she smelled of sweat

and her coat was covered in dandruff

(I have never had dandruff

though Felix of Berlin, invited to the lab

took out fifty percent of my fine brown hair remote

which they use as punishment for retarded people)

she did  not look as though she had ever worked

' writer'said microsound, 'who pinched your work'

these look alike set ups are what these idiots do all day

with your taxes and mine...

 then a red haired chump, dyed of course

I think they called her Megan

a girl who had my mother' wheelchair taken from her

so we had to fight to get it back-

sneered at me though she was a quarter of my age

microsound..I saw that-

lifted her coat

they keep a camera from a satelite on me

day and night and all I do since 1983

once day they got an Ethiopian lodger of mine at Upton Park

to push me against a fire place

and pull my skirt up behind

 spite because my mother had said many years ago

the raping red army should have stuck their what's it

into a sauerkraut keg or a fireplace

and given us women a bit of peace

(her neighbour of seventy died of gang rape

by a whole plattoon of soldiers, to pinch a mirror

and some gold painted door handles in Bratislava

she bled to death, though we blocked her with cotton wool

and when they walked the streets

girls laid there being raped

as Kalashnikovs pointed at passers by

I need to explain this

why we are so bitter)

 well dear girl, what happened was

these north africans are on the whole civilised

surprised at first I quickly whipped round

pulled down my skirt (I wear them long)

and said to the young man of thirty three sex foot tall

(this is supposed to be the boy

they put on the file I had sex with boys!)

I don't care for these male approaches

and they tell me a lot of gay men are involved

who see sex very differently to me

and are into black and white sex-

an elderly lady who was raped t nine years old

Now young man if you want to rape me

kindly do so in my bed

as this would be most painful for me

having a ripped womb flap causing pain at times

and endless stitches up to my behind

from my very large five babies..

 he shrugged and gave up

we sat down and had a cup of tea

and discussed his thesis.

Now Arbroath is putting cancer scabs

all over my back again

because the Pakistanis have a lot of skin diseases

 Now I lived in Pakistan teaching there

to escape the British Civil Servants

many of the nomads there

who camp at the markets

never see water except for stand pipes

the government puts up for them by street sides

and the villages like that near Islamabad where I visited

the poorest have bad skins

because they live in dirt and filth

 as I said

all a lot of these countries need

is a good clean up

they have wonderful climate

rivers and mountains

the Brits did their sneaky muslim allies proud

but forgot what lazy devils they can be

 by the way,

entering Islamabad village

fields filled with women working their fingers to the bone

lying under the water spout sunning in the sun

lazing I saw so often time and again

a young male

the usual picture over there....

so the lab pakis give ME skin blemishes and poxes

though doctor Meyer

who always watched me in the shower daily

(I was very slim when a little younger)

put on microsound

don't shower so often my dear

your skin will dry

and coming out of the bath

the television would say

'not bad'

 we will fine her (me)

is spoken daily-

fine means punishment

I think for the file written

by the jewish doctors and the lab bossess

robbery, torture or destruction of some sort..

for you dear Anna of the fifty men

Brits can be such big pigs... real pigs.

 and a few new cancer victims they have caused

 AL FAYED TOO

 and Al Fayed too

was on the machine

at London St Barths

 whether he knew or not

no one will ever know

but they let me know

 he snores now at night

though he has had his fancies

as they checked his life through

 I sent him my poetry books

I like Egyptians

probably because my father

 Semen Telewny the writer

had written FOR Nasser

how dare they take the canal

 and my dad had great influence

on the way I thought and lived

and I liked this man too

 so sent him poetry books

one two three

would he see the clues

 I wondered, but no

why should he

if the books ever got there

 I painted Dianas fate

three months before

and wept bitterly all night

 and in my odd dreams

Dodo became the owl

dreams are not willed

 I am with that man

in spirit though neither he

nor I will ever win!

 he has tried anything

bent every way

but cannot find the truth

 But Mr AlFayed

since when where the Brits

ever since time began, truthful?

 shouldn't you know better.

 WOMAN INFERIOR

 at school

at college

my reports all prove

her top marks

do not tell how good

she paints even better than top

 we were refugees

we were poor

I was not really theirs

I was a good daughter

I always did as I was told

or my mother was going to send me back

back to where

 I am a displaced person from the age of one

you should work in a factory

you think you are a princess or something

I managed to get to a newspaper

I was a good wife

I was a good mother

then at last I signed for art school

encouraged by a young male teacher

I myself will ring and make the appointment

your talent should be used

(I used to sit in the corner

at the women's group painting, not chatting)

 I went to the nearby town of Grimsby

the Head looked at two paintings

done on the kitchen table using the kids' paints

you have your place

at the council grants office she said

you should stay at home with your children

have you nothing better to do at your age

than go running to nearby towns to art college

 It was difficult

jealousy from every side

I must be a good mother and wife

so to the hospital Path lab as receptionist

and everyone approved of me

but one day an assertive women's class taught me

as a woman I also have a right to life

but all I want to do is paint

 NO, NO, NO

I don't want to be a receptionist

I had followed everyone's wishes all my life

I had been that good person the nuns had taught me

and slowly I manipulated the situation

and was again at Art College

but this time with a sting in the tail

 the lab St Barths were watching

as they watched endless people on this Isle

and manipulate their lives to their own amusement

but I come from a communist past, much the same

so the axe man manipulated my old man

I do not want to be married to a woman better educated

ok and Meyer used the womb torture remote

so that in Life drawing classes I was bent double in pain

 they totally took over our lives

they reasoned, we separated them, just as the Royals later

so she must have many ahem affairs then marry again

unfortunately the last thing on my mind was ahem affairs

so they gave out the marks

fail, you did not do as we wished

my lecturer shot himself a week later, called manslaughter

they push them too far sometimes and that happens

what, paint, I know nothing about art the good doctor said

 no. assertive women would not give in

off to another course I went

here the lab doubled up the intervention into classroom

and private life I dare not mention

till it was too much

and to London I fled when my sons were old enough

hoping I had left my sons to safety

 I dare not tell you what they did at the UEL

it is called debasement, another obsolete programme

- these doctors and bossess have all had at least fifty lovers

they say this with pride along with their spouses-

using microsound all you hear is filth not lectures

and Anna wrote a file so filthy it is called heavy porn

 but I knew all this Uni study from my past

and as a german mother tongue speaker

the lab said they couldn't fail me

though they played with the lecturer and lectures

the lab put my mark at borderline

because Wayne one of theirs

had had that happen to him-

having taken off twenty percent

but from now on 'Fail all' however good said the lab

no complaints will be listened to

victim had enough education as far as we are concerned!

 they were permitted to torture, rob and torment

they said by some clerk at the United Nations

and we were only refugees who the hell cares

They said we were a danger to the Royals

because how the lab worked it out was

If they told me all they did

then I would know too much

and be a danger to them all

at first I was totally silent, said nor wrote not a word

 I thought of fleeing to Iran

(I had good friends Iranians

and my mother had since my childhood

taught me of Iranians, though not this lot

and Borneo and of Mountains and much more)

but I could not stand much more

You would not believe what they were doing to me

but their Embassy honestly wrote to me

saying: 'respectfully we ask you

are you sure you know what you are doing'

I have the letter still

(and later my son spoke on Iranian tv and radio

about the madness of wars in the middle East

unbeknown to me!)

which made me think again about my family

so I fled to Canada

but they began physical torture remote over there

and so it went on

 I taught at East Ham College

painted at their classes in my spare time

so the Civil Service closed those classes for the lab

though they were packed beyond the doors

I held exhibitions at our local Unis

so they made rules about framing and such

which they knew I could not afford

each door was closed

no matter how many I tried to open

 and now the final attacks

they steal the actual work

written and painted

nothing of her college days must remain

or she has proof that we failed her-

not the work she did-

they give it to their thieves and cheats to sell

saying to all and sundry :they sell

she doesn't as we block her from selling

yes, the lab guarantees their sales

anyone who uses me work

 and today's quote?

'your natural talent would have shone through!'

everything you did normally,

was more or less a 'first'

so, asked someone on high, you are still riding her?

Yes, the lab Pakistanis have her to play with

give cancers and poxes too or rare diseases,

destroy her skin or life,

(semi-literate goons on massive wages

each got a pay out of one thousand taken from my accounts)

 trying one more last for an art M.A.

the lab sits there

all our lab members

have used all her work

her drawings, sketches and writings

sent off to the magazines in our names

written books of her work copied and adapted slightly...

most of it about her life and studies

even the ancient Hebrew Verse I painted

studied for the Rabbi Rothchild-

no she cannot

her tale she might tell

and all will know what really happened to Colin

and even to Barry, also their manslaughter

as this little known technology kept secret

becomes more widely known

 there is to be no physical evidence

everything we do we cover

and a lone woman is so easy to use and abuse

such is the tale of one woman who wanted to paint

Know the joke

I studied feminism, british and german,  at Uni!

 the pay off,

all whom we used to cheat her

now on the machine

the ones who didn't get the cancer from it

will suddenly find they can draw

(think about it guys

it is quite easy to work out

I am an artist and even I know how)

and the little Princes too

will be given the physical or mental gift on line

for all the bad we have done to them.

and now the english girl at the lab warns

more robberies are due for you and your mum

(she's ninety one)

though you have nothing left

it is done to confuse you

so more books of sketches and uni work stolen

you are supposed to forget

as the crimes are constantly repeated

(I think they call it the spin)

you know

Hitler built autobahns and did good works

as he destroyed all of Europe!

 WORKING LECTURERS OF OXFORD

 Remote prison for life for them

every thing destroyed

for our sins at the lab

we turn it all around

onto her as we rise higher and higher

 I want her work to be worthless

The Cambridge man has taken

all working lecturers

selling their souls for lab fame

destroying art and literature for ever

as was the Tyne Tees Uni man

as was Christopher of four books of copied poetry

from the lowest Pakistani

to the highest realm

all must use her work

 to cover what we the lab

have done to them

the british do NOT have scandals

we cover and kill them

and crunch them into the ground

Just tell everyone they volunteered

Lauren, liberal jewess signed their life away

They learnt a lot from the Nazis did these jews

or was it vice versa afterall?

 Now Oxford man

I want you to write it like this--

for that I will raise you above your peers

and you will remain on the machine

and I will guide and watch your life..

I want everyone in the lab

so everyone is at fault

the biggest greatest gang bang ever

against this one tiny woman and her little family

 the machine

the secret machine

at St Barths

of which the whole government is part

outlawed in the States

all already tried over there...

 but he whom we call Backhouse

from over the pond the States

is coming to help us out

to show us how to survive her tongue

 Backhouse good poets

how did that come about?

whilst studying at the UEL

I rang the german school in Islington

could I please work voluntarily there on Saturday

the Head, called Backhouse barked at me

''what do you want''

 so I have to tell you

all my phone calls are listened to

and interferred with

so I rarely use the phone

as you cannot see who is at the other end

Backhouse it seems

is also some boss over there

who sent St Barths the millions

for them to try out stuff on us

 they say they get massive wages

incase they are ever caught

and in the States the penalties are severe

here they just use us former D.P's

clever, hard working, talented

give us to their Pakis to use us for games

so the Pakis can get even richer

on our hard earned gains

 and there was Gus and Hank

and Kit and others over there

who at first had no idea

what this lot over here are like

and the bossess ofcourse entertained them

in her own particular fashion

anyway so Cambridge man has copied

so now Oxford man is also to copy

what cowards the British are!

 REALITY GAMES

 we decided to use this family

for reality experiments

they are so vulnerable

so many of theirs are dead

and my how we made their old suffer

who will believe her anyway?

 We raise everyone who uses her work

then to protect them

we rob her house constantly

she might as well leave the door open

and now we have another artist in to copy

 all of England is now just copied work

how is it done the New York jew Ziegler told us

you take the main words of each sentence

and add them to your own ideas

you take the main ideas of paintings

and add them to Anna's ideas

 we destroy all her friendships repeatedly

it is a psychiatrists dream

and our american teams showed us how

we have outdone them in every way

they would all be in prison

if they did what we do without a word raised

 does she stay in her jobs they ask

no because the lab always creates massive problems

to create conflicts no matter where she goes

once we gave her mother four seizures

to get her back home

when we went through the whole heart thing

 we have pressed her heart to its limit too

we cannot be found out

or it is prison for all of us

you would not believe the pain and suffering

that family has been put through

and others killed with the Royal Prerogative

 Doctor Meyer who used a lot of her work in his book

explains : I wanted her to know hardships

We didn't check anything

I destroyed all advances and blocked all she does

we were asked to tell them what we were doing

 we tell them after the event

over the tv over music and you name it

people walking past in the streets

the Soviet is nothing to this

but when she visited the Soviet and Russia

we used the sound over there too

 when she thinks of leaving for somewhere

we sweetly ask the system in that country

please will they take this patient of ours#

who has never been a patient

and this is her file, the bogus one we made up

and the dirty film we made with a second rate porn model

 there is no escape

the latest has been to spread gossip round her area

so that all who were her friends

now see them as someone terrible

she does now know what is said

so she cannot fight it

 as long as the lab escapes

with her money, her work and their lives

who the hell cares

about some useful people to society

who have talent

 we raise any of her friends

higher than she is

get them the best jobs

for which they go on our machine

and we use them all

controlling even their sex lives

as the final kick

 so she doesn't make friends anymore

and in the event

not one friend we have found for her

has been to her liking

not even one

and when we rob from her bank accounts

we try to make the bank clerk

into her friend as we roll the money

for our lab staff and they can never find it

 this follows from when we took away her jobs

we tried to turn the bosses into her lovers

we wanted her turned into a prostitute

first the high class

then the rubbish

then the filth

the Jew at L.A. who wrote this programm

told us that is how it is to be

(or that is what we say)

for poetessess to princessess

 so you came to Britain did you

and helped to rebuild our country

so you did working as our labourers

and saved jews under the Nazis'noses

and tried to keep safe Czechs and other Slavs

well,we at the lab tell you this

 ONLY EVIL TRIUMPHS

IMMORALITY

LIES AND CHEATING

 Good people always go under!

 ILLEGAL

  what do I want,

an american friend has asked...

 I want to belong to a country

which sees me as its own,

and allows me to use its law and work for it

which will defend me from others,

not use me for illegal deadly experiments

which allows me to use my intellect

and gifts for myself and for it..

not take them for its government's workers

and all their friends and lovers

I want a country which sees me

as an integral part of itself

not a thing they fetched to work

once long ago when they needed rebuilding

from somewhere East now no longer useful

so can be used for anything which is illegal

Back then you begged us to buy your goods

and licked out boots

 my fellow poets

why am I telling you this

 because it looks like after the long journeys

dragged out of our homes and I mean literally

yet we had dared to stand by our jews and others before

mother battered and beaten though nine months pregnant

for all the people she had saved

oddly only a mongolian Red Army sentry tried to help her

dragged West in cattle trucks

(West not East only because

President Klements was a friend of ours)

malnutrition time and again

the years in two children's homes

in different transit and refugee camps

different languages different cultures constantly

all the things which made up our life

 and then at the end

to have finally got to College and that too the lab destroyed

 I need to go on now not what for their freedom

nothing is worth waiting for here in this hell they want for us

though I have a Scotland Yard certificate of honesty

every three years as I teach

and our community was said to be the most decent

by their Home Office.

I really do not want to be illegal

after my life you can believe that

but now I have no choice

it is enough

there are no more corners to hide in

they keep telling us return whence you came

though over sixty and it was half a century ago

I cannot, just cannot, believe me I tried

I think there is only one country for us

and it is not corrupt old Brittania

yet they tell us that those who have countries

which just need a broom to sort them out

get stay when we do not..

because the Brits poached us back then

 again we have to take fear into our hands

and turn to the only place for mercy we know of

 but then every Asian who sites anything gets stay

and they have huge families who can sponsor

we have no families only our skills..

better life style is now a refugee matter

not something to work hard at to overcome at home

countries which do not organise themselves

peoples who leave dirt anywhere

and please do not deny it

I was a teacher in those countries too

trying to escape old Brittania's spite

as one Embassy top notch told me

if we had ten germans working in Pakistan

the country would be a top league place-

so those with no where to run can't run

can't run anywhere or anyhow

and those who have a country get to run

though it would be better if they organised

their own country first.

 telling us that we are the lost people

does not do much as another freedom disappears.

 and Immigration is adamant.

    OUR NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE

 said the Pakistani Lab worker last night

who raped a minor back home

I took a thousand from your bank account

money you had earned giving lessons

to Pakistani children to help them catch up

for half price and helping their mothers to cope

 I have used your poetry

and had your stories stolen

and the work you did at colleges stolen by neighbours

and deselected your letters on our computer

 no one will catch me here

the lab has seen to that

and by the way

anyone can get work in your health service

corrupt bosses create corrupt workers

so says the former toilet cleaner

now in charge of Personnell

 this is the new  britain

the Britain our Blaire created!

 JEREMY PAXMAN

 It is just an idea you understand

we will get Jeremy Paxman into the lab

and he will notice odd things you understand

 we will engineer what he notices you understand

and then he will broadcast it on the tv

then the lab will be closed you understand

 and then the lab will ofcourse reopen you understand

we have already moved all our criminals to other jobs

and the lab can then begin from fresh you understand

 and understand this

sue them for the half century of torture and theft to you

but don't site Civil Servants in it

or we will get you

you understand!

 TEARS AND JEERS

 We at Behavioural Science have had the ability

of creating severe nervous reactions

for a long long time now

 we use this ability

where ever or on whom ever we want to

in poetessess and princessess

 then we do as we wish which we call basicing

from that point on

no one can find us out

 we merely call it

our 'little known technology'

people are to busy to listen to the whistle blowers

 the law needs updating ..

 BEHAVRIOUAL SCIENCE

 they sorted them out over the pond

now they mess over here

 wasn't it enough what they did

in the experimentation camps

of Hitler's Germany and in the Gulags

from whence we came

 we mess over and above the call of duty

one of theirs put over

 look, a thousand pound slipped there

said the lab Pakistani who put it into his account

money from a retired teacher who worked constantly

page misssing, now lots of pages are missing

 the system which uses the barely intelligent

to destroy all in all ladders of society whilst furthering its friends

 for robbing them of their bodies, work and money

we say we get them 'contacts' and lovers to rape them

not one of our contacts has remained a friend or been a friend

they are merely people we want to watch on our machine..

 the machine which rules the world

yet has not yet been revealed to anyone except the top

 so now they've asked their system over the pond

to change the facts of when London set off the security alarms

there at Santa  Monica from their illegal, secret beaming

and I am an America friend, what is the point of the alarms then?

 CORRUPTION FROM TOP TO BOTTOM

 we'll sort her out for you the Asians cry

but you have to guarantee our lives

she'll be destroyed

and no one will know

we do all this back home

 standing at the bus stop

coming from an english lesson

two massive north Africans is hear them say

''well now we have seen white behinds

nicer than that from our lot

and very slender too

like a child''

 are they talking of the little girls

forced into prosititution by these Asians

early teens in cotton socks

which makes us sad

as one threatens suicide

and I can only think

how daft I was at that age

 terrible happenings

but what can we say

when the very top like St Barths lab

play with the Ministers and Civil Servants

of their Ministries

and Ministries take part in endless corruption

then tries to turn it against them all

invites all even the BBC into the lab

on this survey of hers on sex

 there's little wonder

the country is going bad

from top to bottom

it all stinks..........

so this is it

the Asian group

our bossess Anna sponsors

to sort it all out for her.

 and who suffers in the end

hundreds of little girls

who know no better

as Anna bossess blares

get rid of Lynne

one of their torturers

she hates those lot more

even than

our victim does.

 TAINTED FAY AND HER CHEATING FAMILY

 POEM WIPED OUT THREE TIMES

ON WORLD OF POETS AND ON MY FOLDER

 SO OFFER EXPLANATION:

 TAINTED FAY AND HER CHEAT FAMILY

POEM WIPED OFF THREE TIMES

FROM WORLD OF POETS AND ALSO MY FOLDER

REDBRIDGE FAMILY

FATHER SADISTIC AXE MAN AT LAB

MOTHER LAUREN

FALSIFIES DOCUMENTS FOR LAB

WROTE MY STORIES AS JEWISH STORIES

TO PEOPLE’S FRIEND

FAY – ELDEST DAUGHTER

SAID TO HAVE FLAIRE AT COLLEGE BUT NOT TALENT

SO FATHER TOOK ALL MY WORK

POETRY AND PAINTINGS FOR HER TO COPY

 SHE SELLS MY WORK NOW

 WHEN THEY WIPE OUT A POEM THEY PASTE IN ANOTHER ONE

SO IT APPEARS TWICE

THEY HAVE DONE THIS SEVERAL TIMES

IT IS THE LABS HIGH IQ WHICH MAKES THEM SUCH SWINE..

 we'll sort her out for you the Asians cry

but you have to guarantee our lives

she'll be destroyed

and no one will know

we do all this back home

 standing at the bus stop

coming from an english lesson

two massive north Africans is hear them say

''well now we have seen white behinds

nicer than that from our lot

and very slender too

like a child''

 are they talking of the little girls

forced into prosititution by these Asians

early teens in cotton socks

which makes us sad

as one threatens suicide

and I can only think

how daft I was at that age

 terrible happenings

but what can we say

when the very top like St Barths lab

play with the Ministers and Civil Servants

of their Ministries

and Ministries take part in endless corruption

then tries to turn it against them all

invites all even the BBC into the lab

on this survey of hers on sex

 there's little wonder

the country is going bad

from top to bottom

it all stinks..........

so this is it

the Asian group

our bossess Anna sponsors

to sort it all out for her.

 and who suffers in the end

hundreds of little girls

who know no better

as Anna bossess blares

get rid of Lynne

one of their torturers

she hates those lot more

even than

our victim does.

we'll sort her out for you the Asians cry

but you have to guarantee our lives

she'll be destroyed

and no one will know

we do all this back home

 standing at the bus stop

coming from an english lesson

two massive north Africans is hear them say

''well now we have seen white behinds

nicer than that from our lot

and very slender too

like a child''

 are they talking of the little girls

forced into prosititution by these Asians

early teens in cotton socks

which makes us sad

as one threatens suicide

and I can only think

how daft I was at that age

 terrible happenings

but what can we say

when the very top like St Barths lab

play with the Ministers and Civil Servants

of their Ministries

and Ministries take part in endless corruption

then tries to turn it against them all

invites all even the BBC into the lab

on this survey of hers on sex

 there's little wonder

the country is going bad

from top to bottom

it all stinks..........

so this is it

the Asian group

our bossess Anna sponsors

to sort it all out for her.

 and who suffers in the end

hundreds of little girls

who know no better

as Anna bossess blares

get rid of Lynne

one of their torturers

she hates those lot more

even than

our victim does.

 we'll sort her out for you the Asians cry

but you have to guarantee our lives

she'll be destroyed

and no one will know

we do all this back home

 standing at the bus stop

coming from an english lesson

two massive north Africans is hear them say

''well now we have seen white behinds

nicer than that from our lot

and very slender too

like a child''

 are they talking of the little girls

forced into prosititution by these Asians

early teens in cotton socks

which makes us sad

as one threatens suicide

and I can only think

how daft I was at that age

 terrible happenings

but what can we say

when the very top like St Barths lab

play with the Ministers and Civil Servants

of their Ministries

and Ministries take part in endless corruption

then tries to turn it against them all

invites all even the BBC into the lab

on this survey of hers on sex

 there's little wonder

the country is going bad

from top to bottom

it all stinks..........

so this is it

the Asian group

our bossess Anna sponsors

to sort it all out for her.

 and who suffers in the end

hundreds of little girls

who know no better

as Anna bossess blares

get rid of Lynne

one of their torturers

she hates those lot more

even than

our victim does.

 DHYE

 a wet nurse

so Hobson-Jobson tells us

sadly we all knew and watched

needed to provide beautiful children

 and of earlier

english regulations applied

a woman employed

to check the native women

 who could not appear in Court

to give evidence

and so she did

we saw it all as she lifted babies

 told us all of evidence

which could not appear in Court

if the bearer hath not strength

what can the Di do

 this mother for all

provided for for life

who got in the way

this children's nurse

 and the circle burns and turns

covering its tracks

destroying all reality

as the tears wash away the ash.

 AMERICA NOW

 I desperately need some new ideas

said the american

and the lab finds them all

 this is all we have on the computer

said Anna of the lab St Barths Human Research

and you can use them all

 we'll flood the market with her stuff

thank you Anna of the lab St Barths Human Research

and we can use them all

 now start tacking on to her work

use it as it stands

and use all of it

 different patterns of thought to ours

each country that comes into this trial gets all her work

and they can use it all

 they send some of their people of our system

to come to the lab and torture her and her family remote

and they can use them all

 yes, she cries but what can she do

and yes, it is inhumane but she can't stop it

so we use all her work and them all

 her husband used to say

nine tenths of the law is having it

and then you can use it all

 yes, she was always able, we made a mistake

no she was never mucky, that was Anna of the lab

we cover ourselves by giving them to the world.

 even the Belsen musician could play their own

even in Theresienstadt artists were asked to copy

but could retain their own work but this is Britain

 so that is the offshoot for visiting a friend in Arkansas

  THE DIRTY LAB HAS PUT THE VAGINAL TORTURE ON

IT IS SUPPOSED TO RESTRAIN YOU

PUNISHMENT FOR DARING TO SAY WHO THE TORTURERS ARE..

AND HOW THEY TEACH THEIR CHILDREN TO CHEAT FROM THE BEGINNING..

 JUNK PEOPLE

 and will they be freed

if they go to the States

 the lab in London

has put it on full again

 put what onto full

the womb irritator

 feels like super severe labour pains

and keep on pushining here in Arkansas

 though friends here try to help

as best they can

 the London lab will be allowed

to continue torture long range

 their citizen not ours for now

not a lot that we can do

 torture to continue

on our ground

 just like the stuff which happened

back then in Belsen and Auschwitz

 over and over battering without cause

that one little woman day and night

 who bows her head and begs the Lord

to help her and her kids through

 the artificial pain inflicted

by the murderous London lab

 of lechers and liars

though they weep tears at past deeds

 of those of theirs for whom our family lost all

to save and give life when THEY needed help

 and the skimming has already begun

Friends no less and what else?

 THE OUTLAWED PROGRAMME

 yesterday in a beautiful place

in this beautiful huge country

the lab put over

 the london lab

is feeding you work now

to americans

to jewish american mainstream

 so  no squeak will ever be mine

over here

and no one dare say a word

to jews over here

 why........

we lived together

we worked together

we got rich working with you

we helped you whenever you needed us

we were helped by a jewish GI major in Germany after

we needed your help then

we are not scared to talk to people

we see and saw our jewish neighbours as our friends and people

 the lab sayeth:

this is a new phrase of hers please use

make into a ad catch phrase in your name

(they have a super powerful computer which finds all that)

and

why can't you use her paintings for ads

we did in England

like this

all english media

and our sponsored designers

and our sponsored artists

and all our sponsored people

all the lab friends

write to cover the lab

and we gave it to Harvey

who got a divorce for it

so being on high

he would cover all of us with use

so now you can use all her work for us

we guarantee you success if you will use her work for us

 oh our jewish friends and former neighbours

how badly you have used us and me especially

I wonder when the day of reckoning will come for you, again..

 RATS AND RATS AND RATS

 don't

said the lab in london

fetch the old Harvard Professor into the lab

it won't take him long to work it out

she's such a nice person

he'll smell a rat

 and we are the rats

and we don't want that

 but why did the lab

fetch the old Harvard Professor into the lab

for the Russian classes I attended at Sheffield University

to get out and meet new people

after they got my ex of twenty five years

to dump the kids and me there

 I don't write grammatical Uky

but I do write

I speak with a funny Slovak Uky accent

due to my mum

and it's where I was born

but a hun ethnic

but I do speak

I read well

and found at two Universities

I am only a step behind the young

who come from Poland and other slav countries

way infront of the westerners

 Tell you why

when I was little in the children's home in Germany

and the english took my mum to work as donkeys over there

combing the refugee places for workers

and then refused to let the lone women bring their children

who the heck in mainland europe had a live husband or father

and she married my Uky 'dad'

 I liked him from the day I arrived

he had clear grey eyes

said to me

Uky is my language and in my house you speak it

so we sat down with a Bookwar here and there

and quickly I learnt

and my daughter learnt from them too

 I smile now when I think

of how difficult I found to distinguish

all the different shhhhhs and jshhhhhs and chshssss

and how I had to say frog in Uky to get it right

each and every time

and then it was our home language

 mum spoke slovak

he spoke Uky

and I spoke something which all the kids there

at the refugee camp at Elsham spoke

my best friend Desdia

with Polish dad spoke it too

a sort of muddle of all the language

in the same sort of way as Yiddish you know

 'cause you know

we were all a muddle too

mum's best friend missus oneiko

a berlin jewess

and the others

the shulz'z

a POW who stayed and fetched his wife

 my best friend then

a latvian boy next door barrack

who flew of to Canada that year

and endless stories like that

even when I was grown

working on the local newspaper

if we saw each other

we'd smile

and I kept their wedding pics for myself too

 and my dad's friends

dead interesting

and everyone knew Telewny of Scunthorpe

he wrote in all the Uky papers

and visited everyone

so I listened to them discussing in Uky

sometimes heated always with passion

from the very beginning

he would take me down the the men's barracks

they fed me Polish sweets

and I sat and listened

 so why did this weird english bossess

fetch in the old Harvard Professor

who ofcourse was jewish

no disrespect meant at all

but why did the lab choose a jewish professor

to sit and listen to the Uni lessons

which were only my way of getting going again

amongst the local pop

 for herself methinks

to carve a name for herself

they gave a load of lies to all these americans

who never check anything from England

and the games herself played at those classes

man...

 well guys

you should

not everything smells of roses over there

though they no longer pour the jerry pot into the streets

and the bossess says

she is stopping after I am dead

and that is why they are trying to hasten my death

with all sorts of technological tortures unbelievably crude

rather like the bossess and its staff

but then they found out

that the bossess has had this lecherous streak

since the age of eleven

says she is a non believer

which should explain it all and her jewish quacks there

 so now the rats are scared

that they might smell a rat over here

if they get the scent right

in this private little vendetta of the lab bossess.

 MIRRORING

 Mirroring is illegal

and there is good reason why

 at the start of all this

I knew there were lunatics here

 but no idea why or where

then when my jokes

 our families conversations

and more seemed to be on every programme

 as per instructions from L.A. Jew

I thought ey ey, nerve games

 listen guys, we come from all that

you don't ask why when you realise

 you just make sure to survive it

you gird your loins and stick cotton wools in your ears

 and twist wire round you tongue

and go into super alert

 that's how it was at home too

so the Mirror ran a series

 all of it came from Anna of St Barths

and a lot of it contained my work - so sayeth the lab

 hey guys, you gotta laugh

refugees from communism

 death threats don't really work on us in reality

some sat in the middle of american bombing and lived

 but I have to run to China for safety

and Chris of Oxford, you've shown your profs

 four books all copied from an old, well elderly lady teacher

I laugh out loud each time I hear 'Oxford' now

 graduated all right in copy right

in cheating and thieving from others called copy write

 and when I see the police

what police in this country..

 do her work though mirroring is illegal, is it

best go back to communism

 where at least you can complain

the capitalists don't even give you that

 shouting all that democratic purity

daren't be found out

 no different to my dad's stories of there

from the Kremlin and Stalin

 hey there, Paula of the Mirror

did you check your colleagues out

 what they copied- my dad killed by yous

was also a freelance Friedlander

 and my dad's mate at the Mail

got a scoop for forgetting her roots

 but my dad didn't have to copy anyone's work

and me, I just peruse how different the reality is

 to the rubbish they tell us

yet if you read history closely

 it is all there, all the truths though I really don't tell

mirroring is illegal...

 EASTER

 I love Easter

I just adore Easter

it is wonderful

 I can remember too well

as a kid in my Bavarian children's home

always being too small to reach the painted eggs

(Huns are generally smaller than Germans

and I am a very little Hun to boot)

hidden in the bushes by the nuns

for us to find after Mass

 and you know

Mass in Bavaria was something else

I watched in fear the golden snakes

slithering to the ground

and the only man in our lives

other than soldiers in jeeps and tanks

whizzing all over the place

after the girls

the Priest shouting away

in germanic sounding Latin

Latin was much better, mysterious

now we know what he is saying

and a lot has been lost-

or so I seem to remember

(I liked the nuns not the Priest)

 then when my kids were growing up

two of them altar servers

one had was suspended for a week for being naughty

twice, but Irish Priests understand naughty boys

and my daughter in the Legion of Mary and me too

we attended Maundy Thursday, Good Friday

right through to Easter Sunday

when the ex was always asked to take the collection

being our appendage and foreman

for many of the Irish there

(lots of tales to tell there too)

 and then older and alone

I would attend every single Station

in the East End at St Anthony's

I saw it not only as Jesus

but the cruelty of the whole human race

towards the human race

Huns are not inclined towards mourning

but this is a time one could mourn

 but here by the Pennine land

it is Methodist country

and their God was a cruel God

which kept them underground

the place is riddled with empty coal mines

and now their God is tree and grass for a change

 Things are changing however

and earthquakes shake the place

now we all know the Dutch will sort the shores

as they have done for three centuries

having come to Lincolnshire to sort the water

but what of these empty mines

one earth quake and two

more and more they will collapse

flood with water again

 the nation produces rubbish now

not coal but lots and lots of rubbish

so why not use this rubbish for good purpose

why not fill the old coal mines with rubbish

and give the people hereabout a rest

they've given enough of their generations

or is it british punishment

as their forebears came from Sachsen Anhalt

and just couldn't hack it over there?

 I arn't from these parts

but they've had little enough to thank God about

and when you look at the Stations

think of the young pregnant women

dragging coal waggons up pits

naked in the heat

and the rest of the horror of these parts

 Coming here to live I was shocked

at the colour of some of their faces STILL

coming from Lincolnshire

pig country as I did

God smiles in pink cheeked babies there

they're just getting some where here

for goodness sakes,

lets give 'em a chance

 think of that Easter Jesus suffering

then remember those miners

who made you all rich

and suffered terribly

 but I still love Easter the best.

 ..and why

has someone asked since

do you stick up for them constantly

when that area spends all its time

trying to knock you off your pedestal

 they know not what they do

in more ways than one-

they are fed untruths twisted

from a rogue lab

which has to keep itself out of prison

I cannot hold that against the people.

 WE’RE SAVED

 best news I've heard in a decade or more

no space aliens to be seen anywhere

the Universe is all for us it seems

 do you realise what good news that is

it means we can with a little human ingenuity

build crafts, go to other worlds

think how to cart water to there, then produce it

how to build in new types of rocks

how to start new areas of civilisation

(ha!)

gosh it is endless

don't forget the coffee for those like me-

it is wonderful

I am brilliantly happy just thinking of it

I bags Jupiter here and now

for all my forebears

(my culture bears many similarities

to the very northern ones you see..so!)

 we can have interplanetary wars

said someone and I agree

 we can have children

that will have to fight

to get somewhere else

off this stagnating planet

(one or two sci-fi books

have already explored that path)

 it is not all over

it wasn't all for nothing

 oh dear God

Mary, mother of Jesus

and Jesus

and the Prophet Mohammed

blessed be his name

we can take them all over the place too

have you thought

what a pressy from God!

 it was all worth living and fighting for

we won't go under in a final fire

but then you know-

I know from my background

the british firebombing of Hamburg

my fairytales from my youth

wasn't the end

they even threw Phosphor into the river

to roast even those in the water

but look at the place now

nor the fires of Dresden-

My mother talked of it

as friends shrivelled black to fit in a sink

but I saw it clean and gleaming

full of life and people

there's me on the photos on that bridge

and the Palace all of them in Dresden

 thank you Lord

for such a wonder ful future you have given us

if only we can keep our heads

and our leaders can try just a little brains

give them half a brain at least

or damned good advisors

not a lot just a little

or we might have to topple

the lot of them

please God

just a little

 hey, but listen

do we have to call them aliens-

me, I was an enemy alien

not a refugee

from the age of eight

though I know this language

better than they do

I know their customs

better than they do

and could pass for one of them

if I wanted to anytime

but prefer not to

(they don't like our brains here)

and still get a kick or two for it

daily from a rotten London lab

which should disappear it is so stupid

or we will never have the Universe

with such idiots roving the Earth

with their stupid sexual perversions

just as Hitler had done

having learnt from their jewish freudian quacks

- the germans learn anything well-

(more of my childhood fairytales)

 and aliens is not nice

let's think of them as

our fellow space population

our future fellow citizens

whose land and planet we pinched

if we ever find any that is

Do we have to begin with hate

and turn to hate and destruction

what about a little bit of love and understanding

try the learning process for a change..

 as I always tell these guys who want to bed me

and hope to get british citizenship for it

go to College for two years

then come back and see me

never mind about how long before I will

I won't so try learning something instead

with this wonderful future we have...

 it's all ours

the whole Universe.

  hey but what great news

we've all got something to work for

for a long, long time to come...

Ok ok I am one of the descendants

of the horse men of Mongolia

who rode their horses all the way to France

from Irkutz and beyond the Urals

and still kept their traditions

so I suppose we are rather an optimistic bunch

but I still think it is a wonderful new beginning for us all.

 WIPE THEM OUT

 I quote:

Lee a bull murderer I think

 It will sweep the country-

 but people die of cancer on it-

 they'll die in their beds without knowing why

 (I have been saying that for two decades now

no one listens, too busy shopping)

 So, it will wipe out all the weak!

 We have come to that again

 though I am not one of the weak ones

 I don't reckon that's on-

 circles indeed

 planned by an L.A. jew

 put under covers

 carried out by the english.

 Did you know the first concentration camps

 were british and ............

 they even say

 Hitler got his ideas about national purity

 from the way the european jews

 kept separate from all of us.

 Load of bollocks if you ask me

 but then at school

 my nickname was

 'twenty one varieties'

 Being a central european D.P.

 no one could work out

 exactly what I was supposed to be

 not that it bothers me!

 BRAVE GERMANS

 my Uni of East London

sent me to Leipzig East Germany for one year

 when it became clear

that England and the english had gone mad

 giving all theirs away

and allowing any kind of horror in this land

 to cover three jewish doctors

and a rotten, rogue lab

 I sold my home

and put the money into a german bank

 though it was not that much

as the lab robs and rolls all english banks and building societies

 just as bad over there

the lab Pakistanis were shown how to hack and take

 each took one thousand of my house money

each took all my work as they have no english

 toilet cleaners, health workers and others now experts

wanted to show their new level with my work printed

 as did the english mob there

So last night a director of the german bank look alike

 came onto the television and said

we all know what they are doing to your account

 robbing and rolling but we daren't stop it..

now there was an Arab business man

 they did exactly the same to him

so he fled to Dublin where he now lives in peace

 the little Irish dare to stand in honesty

and you big nation are scared!

 so now the lab bossess Anna

has told her motley staff

 ''if one of you dares to talk

I have you all -the staff- on the machine

 Lynne will see you are dead in no time''

Isn't it time Europe got some new laws

 to go with the new technology from Belsen then America

and stopped having whores running its countries

 just so the Ministers and Civil Servants

can shake themselves out during the day at the office?

 Germany I am ashamed of you

though I have often spoken out in your cause

 and remember the only people who ever helped me in my life

which is why I chose a Bavarian Bank.

 BEHAVIOURAL SCIENCE AGAIN

 says St Barths '' we can't go public

she (that is me) keep opening her gob''

 on that poetry site she writes on

was put over the television by Lauren the other night

 Lauren, liberal jewess, lab axe man's wife who now says my trilogy

from my english degree where her stories she wrote long ago

 a lab filled with staff so stupid they can't pass a GCSE

so copy all that they have on the machine which is mine with lies

 ''the criminals we tuned were not responsible

for their actions'' says the lab

 we are talking of the thieves, murders and the rest

all instigitated to their behaviour by this lab

 so we come back down to the same thing

was Hitler responsible or were his guards

 but no we don't as their victims are made into slaves

by de arranging energy, I am aware so I know, they don't

 and the judges arn't told who sentence them

only lab wheels will get them released early, with a reputation

 the Lab Staff at St Barths are all responsible

they had the people raped and murdered

 they made thieves and robbers even out of the famous

they had others cheat and write stuff not their own and lie and lie

 the victims of their actions are sitting in prison

on life sentences and quite a lot are dead

 even if as the lab put over the other day

the Prince instigitated it. For myself I doubt he even knew of it all

 '' and I am supposed to just live with it''

so said P.M.  Major, like Blaire another german jew

 as this lab runs rampage in the country

unstopped in all their evil

 and Brown was on it too so can't stop them

or they could stop him from the machine

 what sort of country is this

when a rather stupid woman- words of the civil servants

 who used her body not mine, whom she kept on the machine

to keep them horny, is running the whole damned show

 and pretty badly at that- hoping to keep herself young

with her own horny mind and past keeping herself on the machine!

 (I wanted to make you guilty

of all the lab staff had ever done!)

 Wake up you blithering idiots

didn't we have that idiot leading the germans

 and how did that end-

with your stupid circles

 Someone should admit which persons were used

they should not have been used without being told

 as indeed my family should not have been--------

like, I hate the irish, lets have him drunk and rape a two year old

 that is called modern technology and a trial

you are all off your rotten heads

 but blacking all others has always been a british mania

and then destroying them bit by bit

 I DO have enough knowledge to know that

and using anyone and everyone else to do it........

 a lab full of murderers, thieves and liars, female and male

even some of the Nazis were more honest than that

 they had reason for some of their prejudices

the lab women and men are just straight killers

 thank god for american sites, though the lab tortures me remote

at least there is somewhere where the naked truth can be told

 ''we'll show the americans how to do it'' says this low life creature

all that they said was unusable, we will use here and make it work

 hm,as someone said, killing, maiming and ageing by torture

are hardly a skilled occupation for such experts as yous claim TO BE..

 CULTURE LOST

 I teach and also learn a great deal

about many varied things

 on Sunday whilst teaching

I required a young student

to discover these dates

St David's Day

St George's Day

St Patrick's Day

and other such significant days

such as the shortest month

the shortest day in the year

the longest day in the year

and so on and so forth

 My text book was for a specific age

about seven to eight years

 I looked back into my own past

I came to this Isle at nearly eight

and knew all these days

and Saints' days back then-

although the lab St Barths Human Research

has treated us cruelly

has used us as lab animals

after we finished work as their pit ponies

these days give a feel of the country's culture

 but then, I went to Church schools

and loved my schools and all I learnt therein

 and though my mother had a problem

with - girls wear ties, really

and why do socks Have to be long and white

and thick school blazers, what for

we had come to join this nation

not to fight her though now they say they hate us

and the newspapers call my country men

those 'soviet countries'

yet it was Churchill who sold us all to Stalin

at the place Yalta

and my mum said:

you can't blame Roosevelt as he was not a European

and didn't really know the inside story of Europe

as Churchill certainly did

so now from Churchill's betrayal

we are suddenly soviets!!

 Nevertheless when in a country

we work hard to work hard

 and to respect what we have joined

so I was surprised when a shirty mum

stopped me with : but I don't know any of that

and I went to the school up the road

over twenty years ago

and we never learnt that

and so why should my son learn it

 surely when you join a country

at least respect their tradition

 I know America is going through a

'let's be nice to everyone who ever they are'

except the hard working person

as we have that one here too

but when my grandson was at school in America

my son commented that they sang

the national anthem before the Hail Mary

and rightly so I commented

 The Hail Mary is a wonderful thing

I am all for woman glorification

as a grandmother who's been kicked about

(not least by this rotten lunatic London lab)

but one should know who it is

who gives you your bread

whilst you can still be what you are

we are a mixed heritage family-

even my children went to Ukrainian Saturday schools

raised the Uky flag at Uky holiday camps

wrote to Mrs Thatcher about our people

we even have a letter from the afore said

had our beautifully embroidered national costumes

and even danced our own dances

up and down the country

(it helped my daughter with her Greek

in her later theology degree..)

I tell thee this-

the boy didn't know which month Christmas is

though two generations were born here

or how to spell it

I bet he knew when Eid was

but then so do I

so does everybody

because we celebrate all the colonies here-

is there something lacking here I wonder?

  WHAT I HAVE LEARNT

the person who loaded the machine today

had this to tell at eight a.m.

for me and all the world to know:

 I now know there is no law in the land

there is absolutely no law

if someone above wants to break the law

 no one can do a thing about it

this is our democratic West

the same as the East only fed like cattle for the slaughter

 and yesterday loaded onto the machine by the lab bossess:

yes, it is the end of Art

we have destroyed art

 all art is now meaningless

no more than decoration

or an entertainment

 man has fallen from his greatest

by one woman at a corrupt lab

the reformation is ended -the Barbarian has won

 all has been changed in the victim's life

What Edna thought (Edna was my mother in law

voluntary patient at Lincoln Mental Home)

 Diana now thinks (they swap files about!)

all has to be changed

total spin and no one will know

 all will be hidden

as operatives pretend to be specialists

as post, bank accounts and work is again robbed!

 and yes, said the lab over tv, another human Right gone long ago

we are still lasering and stressing and tensing night after night

we want to see  how strong she is when she will collapse

 we hoped we would burst a blood vessel in her head

we are battering as she writes this

or destroy some other organ in her body as others have had

 and then we know at what intensity to make the new weaponry

effectiveness and the activating of cancers amongst all and sundry

we brought these east european DP's here as slaves

 and this is our final use of these modern day slaves of ours

now that they have rebuilt us

for our and the Pakistanis and our colonials use

 be warned we did not heed the warnings...

don't listen to english promises

they are just blather, nothing but blather and no one listens to truth

[loulicate-recs]

Hello love! I hope you had a nice December 15th and that tomorrow is as beautiful. It’s freezing cold here, so I’m writing this bundled up in covers. I am indeed at the end of the semester, but I’ll only have my exams after the holidays in January. I might as well tell you that even though I can’t wait for winter break, I really don’t want to study for my exams. Thank you for you well wishes anyways, because I’ll definitely try to recharge despite the stress of it all.

You don’t know how glad I am that your uncle’s already back home. It’s also lovely to know that you had a nice time with your baby cousin anyways!

The question you just asked makes me realize I really don’t do much despite studying and reading fics. But I also like going to the movie theatre. I’m not really used to taking the initiative myself but one of my friends really love cinema, so she pushes me to go with her and it’s super nice. Do you have a favourite film? And I would say cleaning is definitely not something I like to do, I’m super messy so it takes me a lot of time to tidy and clean and it usually feels super overwhelming when there’s so much to be done. Especially, when I’m like… super lazy dsqdhkds

It's nice you have access to a daydream-green trail despite being so close to the city. Must be peaceful if you don’t cross a lot of people there. And yes, I’d rather die than drive. I take the tube pretty much everyday to go to uni but I take the bus as well, though not as often. Definitely no cab! I’m lucky enough to have access to public transports and to have a reasonable commuting time–for my area, at least, it is.

Kinda flattered you thought English was my first language! But I definitely won’t tell you my mother tongue because I fear it will give me away–or at least, give you a big fat clue since you already know I live in Europe. I’ve never heard Malay being spoken before so as soon as I’m done writing this, I’ll try to find recording online to hear how it sounds. When you say you speak English on campus, do you mean you do speak English because that’s your major or, are people teaching and talking in English either way?

I was talking about the difference in education between genders with my grandma the other day who’s like, quite a big militant despite being 86 years old. I was asking about her childhood, and she said that what she remembers is how unfair it was that her older (by a year, but still) brothers got to play outside while she had to do the dishes. It’s kind of crazy that after so many years that’s one of the things she remembers! I was also very surprised because she said that when she was pregnant, she was scared of having a girl. I was like??? Because she fights sexism and misogyny amongst other things, and then, she explained that she was simply scared she’d transmit discriminatory codes to a daughter whereas she thought she could change more by having boys who she could taught to not be assholes. It’s contradictory but at the same time, I understand what she’s saying. So many sexist codes are transmitted by our own mothers, after all (not that she was right for not wanting girls, but you get me).

I’m sorry for breaking you heart by admitting there might have been silly white lies in these messages, but I didn’t want you to find me out not even halfway through December! And I feel even less guilty for doing it when it feels like you’re a quite decent detective if you found your last secret Santa so easily. What about your secret baby? Have they found out who you are?

It gets a little bit hard to understand these messages at time because sometimes I don’t remember what I said in the past dsqjdsl Count on me to have the memory of a goldfish. But yeah, I’ll definitely tell you in the future if I take it up again. For now, I’m gonna let the idea grow in my brain.

Cannot wait to receive all you recs!

It’s lovely to know you’ve picked up the habit of listening to whole albums because you’re anticipating things could happen like they do in a fic dksqjdsql I don’t think your partner would resent you for not having listened to the whole album though, and if they wanted you to listen to everything maybe they’d listen to it with you! And no, I’ve never been to a karaoke, I never had the opportunity to and I’m not sure it would be a great idea as I sing really off tune dqskkdhsq I enjoy it, but it doesn’t by mean I’m good at it by any means. I do enjoy singing in the car though, especially during long journeys when my parents put on songs we used to listen to when we were kids and travelling. Maybe if I practiced more, I’d be decent at it, but I have my doubts! What’s your go to song to sing, since you think we all have some?

Have you watched the footage we got from Louis? The shows he did in the UK seemed amazing. His voice, his face, his energy–beyond this world. Not very mindful of his arm he was, but are we surprised? And the way the fans tried to be gentle by petting him… that one video of that person stroking his cheek… And all the pics with all the pride flags waving in the aid and the rainbow lighting. I WANT TO D-WORD WITH HOW BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING WAS. Anyways.

I did not lie, Louis is the only one I actively stan. He has my whole heart! And I really don’t know why, maybe it was just a vibe I got but I’m glad to know I was wrong but not wrong, wrong. You know.

I definitely agree with you! I’d say I don’t believe in astrology, but I know a little bit about it and I love how fun it can get. Like I know it says everything and it’s contrary, but it is deeply entertaining. And it can be a fun way to connect to people, occasionally. And no worries, I won’t give up on you after this ends–you’re never getting rid of me. At the same time, I’m afraid it wont be the same as writing long ass letters.

I think I’m ending this one here, by wishing you the best for the upcoming days. Take care bubba! Sending you loads of love, xx

I just need to add my heart literally stops beating when I send these messages because I’m always scared I’ll forget to turn on anonymous asks slqdhsq

hi my very dearly missed santa! sorry that it took me 2 days to properly get back to you i just haven’t been my best self </3 but i do hope you’re going through an easy phase while surviving through the cold and your final weeks of the semester, did you do something to give yourself a break from it?

going to the cinema is definitely a fun thing to do so i don’t blame her! do you often bring your own food or get the ones that are served by the cinema? i love films, be it at the cinema or at home so to think of a favourite is really hard! but i’d do anything to watch legally blonde and hp, especially the sorcerer’s stone! i could watch them everyday and i’d still feel like when i first watched them back in 2010-ish. what’s yours? sdfghj idk when it started i used to be the laziest in the family but lately something housewife-y has been ingrained in me ig. plus it makes me feel like i’m capable of doing something? lmao

is your uni located far from where you live? and do you always have *easy* access to those transportations? have you ever missed either the bus or the tube on your way to uni? im sorry for the questions but these are exactly the scenarios that are always playing in my head when i come across people who use public transport’s everyday, i’ve only ever secured the train/ flight tickets at least 2 weeks prior to my travel just in case!

i really thought that english was your first language! the way you… are actually giving me another clue because i know some blouies’ first languages but i’ll wait i’ll wait i promise :3 i love the malay language when it’s being spoken! and people that are close to me mostly are english majors too so we just ise english most of the time there!

i totally get her! being in her age too, it must’ve been one of the biggest impacts in her life. she must want a better future for her grandchildren especially the girls. it’s what my grandma told me too, she would even support us (the girls) if we’d chosen not to get married because she somehow had quite a difficult process at the beginning of her marriage. mostly because of how drastic her status as the village’s head daughter changed into ‘someone’s wife’ with 8 children.

sdfghj it’s okay although the curiosity in me is never getting down, i can definitely try to be patient for one more week! by the way, do you celebrate christmas? and my santa baby definitely hasn’t got a clue i think, we aren’t even mutuals but we have so much things in common. it’s dangerous but i’ll try not to accidentally like/rt their tweets if they happen to stumble on my tl.

i know… but idk i always have this self-perception that people are always expecting the most in me, hence why i HAVE to know the whole album? it’s the first daughter in me ig </3 omgsgjdj not trying to make you feel better but honestly most people who go to karaoke can’t sing, i promise. they only do it for fun. but heyyyy singing in front of parents… wow something that i haven’t done in my entire life? i always think i don’t completely sound like a slap beggar when i sing back to december, otb, fearless, my tears ricochet, love yourself (jb), jealousy jealousy, photograph, and recently i found that i love singing to you’re on your own kid!

I DID. they’ve been my breakfast all morning this week, uk time zones are just not it for me so louis always performs between 3-5am if he’s in the uk :( (hence, us promo >>>>>:) that stroking cheek video!!! i’ve been repeating it even until now, literally just watched it twice before answering you… i should be jealous but also, it’s how he should be treated! gently! softly! delicately! like a princess coming down from his stage to be closer to his people! the rainbow flags projects have always been amazing at his shows :’) like can you just imagine how comfy he makes us feel? have you been to any louis show? and will you, for this fitf tour? you don’t have to answer if this will probably give you away! i have never :( was this 🤏 close to see him in jakarta but then uni schedule… i don’t even want to think about it anymore. hope he’ll do singapore at least for fitf tour! the only reason i’m taking a part time job this semester break when i’m supposed to be resting after 3 months of internship is because i’m saving money for his tour actually, he won’t do malaysia ik so i have to get ready for the abroad travel :’) but i missed it once i won’t miss it again >:(

god i swear i’m keeping you! there’s no one i love more than a louis, LOUIS, louis this louis that, LOUIS enthusiast, lover, caretaker. (after louis ofc <3) sdfgfj yesh you’re definitely not wrong, wrong. i had my kpop phase when i was 14 i do enjoy the old kpop songs.

mhm! i would ask you about your sign but that would definitely help me to either cross out or double line my new ss suspect. so burning that for now!

again you can take one day, two days, three days, to reply back! you can also take four or more but then i’m afraid i will be selfishly missing you when i had taken so long to get back to you </3 sdfgh i’m truly sorry for that!

be sure to turn of— i mean ON your anon ask, my curious cat ghost loves to linger in your air probably, i’ll put her on a leash later! for now mwah, kisses and hugs for you, wishing you a smooth day full of colours!

and sorry for any typo’s </3

[mlembug]

Chapter 2 "my life got flipped…"

Chapter 2 originally published: 29th of May 2019

“This one would suit you so well!”, she says, holding a frilly dress in front of me.

I can’t believe I actually agreed to this. And now we’re buying girly clothes for me.

She has been at it for a while and I’m not even able to count the number of clothes she picked.

I’m happy to see her smile from ear to ear, but somehow I’m feeling like a dress-up doll.

“Why don’t we just go with whatever cheap clothes I’ll find? We would be done with it in 5 minutes.”, I said.

“That won’t do, you need to be a bit more confident in yourself, dear, and I think the best way to do so is to wear flashy clothes”, she responded.

“Alright, alright, fine.”

“We have to buy all the clothes you need. And also…”

I suddenly felt hands brushing my nipples.

“Kyaaaaa!”, I moaned. I had no idea I was capable of producing such sounds.

“Why did you do that?!”, I asked.

“These girls will need a firm grip, so we’re getting you a bra.”, Wendy said.

“A WHAT? A bra? Do I really have to?”

“You don’t need to, but if you don’t, all the boys at uni will love you.”

“Ugh.”, I grunted.

“Oh, come on, it will be fun! I like you, so I wanna get you an adorable bra for my cute little girlfriend.”

I blushed.

“I’m not cute!”

She walked behind me, and hugged me.

“But you are just soooo cute”, she said while patting my head.

I felt her chest on my back. With this encouragement, my heart melted. I felt so happy.

She then let go, and walked towards the shop assistant.

“Excuse me. This girl doesn’t know her own size, could you help her get measured?”, Wendy said.

“Understood. Please follow me.”

And so I did. Before I even realized, it was done.

“It looks like I’m a ‘85C’, whatever that means.”, I told Wendy.

“Great! Next time you’ll visit my place, and you could try on some of mine. And I’ll be able to try on yours!”

“That’s… good, I guess?”, I said.

While I definitely can’t wait to visit Wendy’s place, I don’t think I’m very excited about wearing her bras.

She picked a few and then we went to the changing room.

“Listen carefully, because this is a new thing for you, and you may be not too comfortable with changing clothes in my presence yet.”

I listened to her explanations. It felt so complicated. Do girls have to go through this every day?

“I think I’ll manage somehow.”

“Alright, I’ll be outside. Call me if you need help.”

The clothes she picked were hanging in the room. I picked the underwear first. It was a lacy pink bra with matching panties.

“Pink?!”, I was weirded out with this choice.

“I really wanted to see you wear this for me.”, I heard her voice outside of the changing booth.

I undressed myself, revealing my entire torso in the mirror.

I lowered myself to let my boobs fall into the cups. Heh, “my boobs”. It felt quite funny in my head.

I followed by fastening the hook. I raised myself, scooped the boobs and adjusted the straps.

It was surprisingly comfortable, and also slightly exciting. I quickly took off my pants and underwear, and put on the new pair.

A wave of embarrassment hit me. Somehow this was even more embarrassing than seeing myself naked.

This feeling quickly subsided though. The panties were a snug fit.

“How smooth.”, I said.

“It looks you didn’t have much problems with it.”

“All thanks to your explanations.”

“You flatter me. Now try on the dress. I want to see my cute girlfriend in the clothes I picked for her.”

After a moment I managed to put it on.

“I’m done!”

I heard the curtains from behind me. Wendy walked into the booth.

“I’m falling in love with you all over. Going shopping for these was the best decision I made today.”, she said.

“So, how do these feel?”, she asked.

“It feels so breezy.”, I said. “I can’t see myself getting used to it.”

“Ah, I guess I’ll hand you other clothes I picked for you then.”, she walked away, leaving me alone in the booth again.

I looked at myself in the mirror a bit more, with hands holding the bottom part of the dress.

Without my feeling of uneasiness, I looked at it more objectively. And it does look good on me. Will I dare call myself… cute?

I gave it a twirl on an impulse.

“Oh, and…”, she said while walking into the booth, but stopped when she saw me smiling and twirling in a dress.

“Oh my~ It looks like you like it after all!”, she said with a smile.

“No…? I don’t?”, I attempted to back it down, but she didn’t seem convinced.

“You don’t have to keep pretending in front of me.”, she said.

“I… I…”, I kept stuttering.

“Go on~”, she insisted.

“Fine, I like how well they fit me.”

“Hmm…” was her reaction.

“I really like how the clothes feel against my skin and how soft and delicate they are.”

“Hmmmm…”

“Twirling in this dress is so fun. I think I could do this for hours.”

“You should be honest with yourself more often.”, she said. “Otherwise you just make yourself feel bad.”

“I guess… Say, what would you suggest I wear next?”, I said.

“I’m glad you asked.”, she said, giving me a red camisole and a checkered red-black skirt. She got close and then whispered “This one twirls even better than the first one.” to my ear, and then giggled.

It took us a bit of time, but now I am equipped with all the clothes I need for my daily life. After all that, we finally left the clothes store.

“I’m starving. How about going out for a bite next?”, Wendy asked.

“Sure!”

Shy boy meets teasing girl

Description: A geeky university student confesses to his crush, gets turned into a girl. Shenanigans happen. Chapter 1 originally published: 13th of May 2019

Chapter 1 "Now this is a story all about how…"

A loud noise of my alarm clock woke me up.

“Ugh…”, I grunted, knowing that five hours are not enough for a healthy sleep. Still, I begrudgingly rose from the bed and continued with my morning routine. The clock indicated it’s 7 o’clock. Just enough time to shower and catch a bus.

I met up with my friend, Eric, who happened to be riding the same bus to uni.

“Hi! How it’s going, Patrick?”, he asked.

“Yeah, well, you know. Stuff.”, I responded.

“That wasn’t very informative.”, he told me.

“Yeah, it’s just I’m sleepy and not in a mood.”

“That’s what you kept telling me over the last month.”

“I can’t help it, Factorio is just so addicting.”

“If you keep going through life like that, you’ll finish uni without scoring with a single girl.”

“Man, is it all you keep doing in your life? Taking enjoyment in hedonistic pleasures of life?”

“I don’t really want to hear that from you. Also, how are your attempts with Wendy going?”

I was shocked. “How do you…?”

“That’s obvious from your face. You spend most of your time on lectures staring at her.”, Eric responded.

“This is a secret between us.”, I responded quickly.

“Sure, sure. But, you know, the longer you keep that a secret, the bigger is the chance that she’ll slip away from you.”

“There’s no reason why she would want to be with me, you know.”

“You just need some confidence, and you’ll easily attract girls.”, Eric said. “How about this one: I’ll give you 70 bucks if you confess to Wendy today. Even if you get rejected, you’ll still have 70 bucks.”

Thought about it a bit. “Deal.”

“Looking forward to it.”

“Better prepare the money.”, I said, a bit more confident than before. Wendy is a friend I’ve got to know only recently, after I enrolled into college, because of her being in the same group as me. While she wasn’t completely a stranger, trying to ask her out felt to me like a gamble. Then again, it’s not like I had ever attempted asking out girls, so who knows.

I couldn’t focus on the lecture much, instead I tried coming up with an idea how to approach her. Oh well, I could just try the straightforward thing. I take my phone and type out:

“After lecture, can we talk for a bit in private? I have something to tell you.”

“All right.”, she responded.

…and now we wait.

We met at the usual place.

“There’s something I want to tell you.”, I said, then continued:

“I’ve been looking up to you for the last few weeks. Will you go out with me?”

“On one condition. You’ll need to change for me - drink this.”, she hands me a ordinarily-looking bottle with a red liquid.

“Eh? That’s it?”, I asked, twisting off the cap and lifting the bottle in order to drink it.

“Wait, you don’t know yet what will happen if you drink it!” - she interrupted me.

I stopped, and then she continued with something I never expected to hear:

“You’ll turn into a girl.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Because I’ll definitely turn into a girl by drinking this. Ha ha.”

I chugged down the entire bottle.

“See? Nothing happened. Does this mean we’re going out now?”

“Sure, we’ll meet here again, tomorrow 5PM.”

“5PM? All right, see ya!”

I walked away.

“…That was weird.”, I thought. “Why would she make such a joke at that moment…?”

The rest of the day at uni was fairly uneventful, so I rode the bus back home, and kept playing Factorio. Around midnight I noticed that somehow I was way more tired than usual, so I laid down in the bed. Despite me feeling so tired, I had a hard time falling asleep, so I can’t remember the exact moment I did. My sense of consciousness faded…

I found myself in high school, talking with Eric, when all of a sudden my clothes change into a schoolgirl uniform! He didn’t seem to notice this, somehow. So I try to allude to this in my conversation.

“Is there something weird about the clothes I’m wearing right now?”, I asked.

“No, what’s wrong with them? No stains or anything.”

I frowned.

“I get it that a girl like you pays a lot of attention to her appearance, but you seem to be panicking too much.”

What.

I tried to walk around. No one seemed to pay any attention. Is there anyone who’ll comment on a guy crossdressing?!

“What are you doing here?”, Wendy asked. “Our next lesson is P.E.! We have to get going and change clothes.”

Wendy grabs my arm and drags me to the girls’ changing room. I walk towards the lockers. Several girls eyed me over, but with no comment from their side. I open my own locker, and I see my own stuff, but the clothes that are there are girls’ clothes.

…what the hell was that?

I woke up, feeling fairly refreshed. I looked at the alarm clock.

“FUCK! It’s 11! I overslept!”, I shouted, while trying to get up as soon as possible.

Fumbling around, I got up from the bed, but suddenly fell because somehow I tripped on my own pants.

“Ow.”

I lifted my legs and left the pants on the floor. Then, I ran to the bathroom. I felt that my body was lighter than usual. I looked at the bathroom mirror. It was an unusual sight. The person in the mirror moved in response to every my move, but it wasn’t me. Somehow most of the details didn’t quite match. I looked at them more closely, from head to toes. The hair was nearly reaching the shoulders, and the color of it matched my own. The face had a smooth skin, nearly babylike. The person wore the same pajama shirt I was wearing, but it was unfit to their physique. Two visible bumps were protruding out of that person’s chest. This raised the alarm signs in my brain. I moved my hands towards my chest. I felt a soft sensation. My fears were confirmed.

“WHY DO I HAVE BOOBS?”, I shouted.

I touched my body all over, feeling a smooth, soft skin. Desperately trying to deny what was happening, I moved my hands between my legs.

“It’s… it’s gone!”, I cried out. How does one become a girl overnight? How?

I asked myself in my thoughts.

Soon enough, I recalled my yesterday’s conversation.

“I have to meet Wendy as soon as possible!”

That means I have to leave my house. Leaving the house means I have to dress up. Dress up means I have to wash myself.

So I took off my clothes and walked under the shower. I can’t believe I’m about to do this. But I don’t have a choice.

I took a better look at myself. “There’s no way I’ll be able to hide these.”, I said.

I cupped one of the breasts with my hand. Even while standing straight up, it’s large enough to fill my entire hand.

It’s so soft… I wonder how would…

“This is not the time for my horny fantasies! I’m already late!”, I interrupted myself, and got down to washing my body, with as little excitement as possible.

After that, I browsed through the cabinet, looking for clothes that could possibly fit me. Digging through, I found a old shirt that I didn’t bother throwing away, but happened to be smaller than the size I’m currently wearing. This bad habit of mine of not throwing away old clothes actually saved my butt today. I finished dressing up and ran to catch a bus.

After a while later, I managed to get to uni without any incidents. I nervously looked around, searching for Wendy. She was nowhere to be found.

If I won’t meet her earlier, I’ll just have to hope she keeps her promise and she’ll be there as promised at 5PM, and in the meantime attempt to not stand out from the crowd.

“Oh, hi there!”, I heard Eric’s voice.

“How are you doing, Pa…”

I turn around.

“Oh, sorry, I got the wrong person.”, Eric said.

He can’t recognize me? That’s convenient, I don’t really want to face him right now, who knows what ideas he may get.

So I tried moving away from Eric, to avoid his stares.

It’s about 5PM, the same place as yesterday.

“Wow, you turned out nicely.”, I heard.

I immediately recognized Wendy’s voice.

“HOW COME I’M A GIRL?”, I shouted to her.

“You drank a potion which turned you into a girl. Why are you surprised?”, Wendy asked.

“Why do you treat it as something normal? People don’t usually change sex overnight!”, I said. “What will I do with my life? How will I attend uni? My life is over!”

“It’s not like I didn’t warn you before you drank that bottle.”, Wendy said. “And besides, it’s not like your life is over. Half of the world are women.”

“How will I explain this to everyone? It’s not like I’ll just say ‘oh, hey, Patrick is a girl now’ to my mom, dad, and my friends. Can I turn back?”

“I’ll help you with explanations. And yes, you can turn back. After all, since a potion managed to change you, the same potion can turn you back. But…”

“But…?”, I asked.

“Would you even want to?”, she asked seductively, moving her left hand’s index finger across my chest, and touching my chin with her right hand’s index finger.

“We’ll go on dates, buy some cute clothes, watch movies in your room and chill… Patricia.”

I squirmed at the thought of me shopping for women’s clothes.

“For what reason did I turn into a girl anyway?”

“I’m a lesbian. Normally I would’ve rejected you outright, but I’ve known you for a bit, so I thought this could work out.”

“It still feels too weird. I’ve been a guy my whole life. How am I expected to behave like a girl now? I’ll be a freak!”

“C’mon, you’ve got so far, other guys who had asked me out gave up earlier than you. Do you want to pussy out now?”, she said.

“Hmmm…”

“Give it a try, I promise I’ll make it worth it.”, she attempted to convince me.

“All right, I’ll give it a try for a week.”

“Yay! Now we’re girlfriend and girlfriend!”

“So what do we do now?”

“First we should get you in some clothes that won’t make you look suspicious.”

“What?”

“These are clearly boys’ clothes, and they’re too big for you now.”

[jjkgyu]

hiii,i loved your mingyu as a first time dad,if its possible can you make one for scoups 🫶 tysm<333

tyvm! sorry everyone for being ia uni has been crazy lately but i’m starting to write again! enjoy xx

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

seungcheol as a first time dad! ♡

scoups would be so ready to be a dad, even before you were engaged or married. the thought of having kids with you was everything he ever wanted and he wanted it to happen as soon as possible

when he finds out you’re pregnant, scoups definitely cries. he’d pick you up carefully, tears streaming down his face asking if you’re being serious. when you nod with excitement, he would pull you into the tightest hug and promise to be the best dad ever

scoups would be the perfect husband while you’re pregnant. he’s already protective enough of you as it is, but since you’re carrying his child he wouldn’t even let you lift a finger during pregnancy. he would be ready to drop whatever he’s doing at any given moment to run to the store for you or be there to give you massages whenever you needed it, and he’d have his hand glued to your stomach at all times

when scoups meets his daughter for the first time, he’s honestly a mess. he’s overcome with love for his little girl as he holds her in his arms and tells her that he’s going to protect her and be there for her for the rest of his life. “you’re the most perfect little baby ever”, he’d whisper to her with the proudest smile on his face

he needs to be holding his daughter 24/7. you often have to put up a fight at times because he never wants to let her go. he insists you get more rest which in other words means he can spend more time with his little girl

so protective of her, even before she can stand on her own. even if she’s laying down right in front of him he won’t take his eyes off her for a second. part of him hates anyone but you or him holding her and he impatiently waits to take her back into his arms

she’s definitely a daddy’s girl since he spoils her so much. he buys her anything she lays her eyes on, and seeing her smile makes him the happiest man alive. scoups has a photo of her as his lockscreen at all times and he revolves his whole schedules around his daughter

he is definitely the type of dad to rush home from work if you text him that your daughter won’t stop crying. he’ll come speeding through the front door holding his arms out to pick his daughter up with a pout and ask her “what’s the matter, little one?”

scoups’ favourite thing to do is to run errands with his daughter, pushing her pram through the aisles in the grocery store and checking in on her every 5 seconds to make sure she’s okay. he also loves when strangers tell him how cute she is and he has to stop himself from going on and on about her

scoups honestly could talk about his daughter forever. his members tease him because he always finds a way to bring her up in conversations. but of course they don’t mind listening because they love her nearly as much as he does

he hates big milestones because it means she’s growing up. he almost wants to shut his eyes when she takes her first steps because he can’t accept the fact that she’s nearly a year old. but of course he’s the proudest dad ever and he’ll invite all his members over to celebrate his daughter’s milestone

when she does turn one, scoups is a mess. he can’t believe she’s all grown up and he holds her close to him the entire day trying not to burst out into tears

the day she starts preschool is very emotional for scoups. you question why he’s chosen to wear sunglasses to her first day of school before you see the tears on his face, and you can’t help stifle a laugh. he pouts at the sight of her huge backpack that’s twice the size of her, and he doesn’t want to let her go. “if anyone upsets you, make sure you tell your teacher to call me right away, okay?” he’d tell her seriously before finally sending her off.

when your daughter returns home one day talking about a boy in her class, you immediately move to block his ears. he always jokingly tells her to stay away from boys, but he honestly can’t handle his daughter growing up any more

he keeps the closest eye on her even when she’s playing on the playgroup or sitting with her friends. his biggest fear is something happening to his little girl so even if you tell him to relax, he won’t avert his gaze easily unless he’s convinced she’s okay and safe

scoups loves the matching pjs and outfits, but as she gets a bit older she hesitates to tell him that she’s embarrassed because it makes him so happy. “what, you don’t love your dad anymore?” he’d joke to her, but he’d open up to you in secret about how much he wants her to stay little forever

scoups is the kind of dad to stay up late watching hair tutorials so he can learn how to do her hair in plaits and pigtails and buns. he furrows his brows in concentration every morning before school as he attempts to tie her hair as neatly as possible, and is so proud of himself once he sees the finish product

he is kind of on the stricter side when it comes to school. he mostly only cares that she’s trying her best, but if he notices that she’s slacking off he doesn’t mind taking on the discipline role. scoups is the type of dad to help her with homework and projects and he takes note of due dates to keep her on track

his daughter has her dad wrapped around her finger. if she asks for a puppy one morning, she’ll come home from school to a new puppy at the front door. scoups cooks her favourite dinners if she’s having a bad day and he’ll pick her up from school with her favourite milkshake to cheer her up

as she grows up, scoups never stops spoiling her and he’s the most patient, loving, and protective dad ever!