#girl has taken first aid classes for a whole academic year

[fluffykittyscientist]

Every time my instructor mentions neutralising an acid/base injury, I scream internally.

[rmnamjoons]

Taking Flight [KNJ Oneshot]

➳ summary: More than a decade after the alien invasion that wiped out most of the planet, you and Namjoon are both in the Pilot Cadet Corps, training for if the alien attackers ever come back. What begins as a playful rivalry between two overachievers develops into a deep friendship and emotional bond, but when the aliens suddenly return and you and Namjoon are separated, you find out just what you’re willing to do to get back to him.

➳ pairing: pilot!Namjoon x pilot!reader

➳ genre: smut, sci fi au, post apocalypse au, alien invasion au, rivals to friends to lovers

➳ word count: 15.2k

➳ read on ao3, link to my masterlist

➳ tags: smut, reunion sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, emotional loving sex, soft dom namjoon, dirty talk (no degradation), rivals to friends to lovers, sexually charged fight/sparring scene when they’re rivals, previously seemingly unrequited love/mutual pining, shower sex, multiple positions, namjoon is needy and so in love

➳ warnings: unnamed character death/death mention, blood mention, injury mention/vague description

➳ a/n: I know this is kind of a niche genre for smut fics; I primarily wrote this for myself, and I definitely had fun and like what I came up with! What’s the point of fanfiction anyway, if not to have fun? Also, this takes place over a few years, and I tried to portray how Namjoon was feral and angry when he was younger but is now a loving gentle giant. Enjoy!

I.

Everybody lost someone in the attacks that killed most of the planet. Friends. Family. Partners. You had lost everything and everyone, like most people who’d lived in the cities that no longer had names — what once had been centers of commerce, tourism, and civilization were now nothing more than craters, and with so few left who remembered them, what they’d once been were now lost to time.

You'd only survived by chance, really. You and your family had been in a tunnel leaving the city, on foot like everyone else, and when everything had turned to chaos, you’d gotten lost from your parents and sister. You still remembered the way people screamed and ran through the tunnel, their voices echoing harshly off the cement walls. You’d spotted someone hiding off to the side in a utility room in the tunnel, and when the blast hit the city center, that person had made you hide in the room too, their body shielding yours from the hellfire, melting around you.

You were five years old then. You were pretty sure your sister had been eight. You couldn’t remember what your parents or sister looked like, or your house, or where you’d gone to school, other than vague flashes and shapes of people who’d once been your whole world. All you’d had with you were the clothes on your back, and even those had been taken away once you’d gotten somewhere safe and been given something clean to change into.

After the ships fell and surviving aliens left, it had taken years to clear the rubble and start over. The attacks that changed and destroyed everything had also been a gift, or so they now preached, in which humanity was able to grow, learn, and become united. The religions and cults who now worshiped the alien attackers believed humanity had deserved extermination, but you liked the more academic approach to the alien race’s lessons: the technology humans had been able to reverse engineer from their fallen ships.

One of the many ways humanity had advanced in the last few years was flight technology. Planes were faster, turned sharper, could go farther, burned cleaner energy. The one thing everyone seemed to agree on was how important Earth’s planes had been in beating them, so that was where all the technology and progress was focused now.

You loved planes and flying, you always had, but the real reason you wanted to be a pilot, you held much closer to your chest: your entire life, you always felt like the attacks when you were young were just the beginning. Like an unhealthy obsession or open wound, it was all you could think about sometimes, what drove your every decision, what led you to the Pilot Cadet Corps. You wanted to be part of the team that took them down if they ever came back. You wanted to be ready.

You were eighteen when you’d joined the Corps. You’d jumped on that opportunity the first moment you were able, without so much as a second glance back at what you left behind. You’d been adopted fairly soon after the attacks, but your adopted parents never felt much like family.

The first full year of Corps was bootcamp. Bunk rooms were co-ed, and every moment of your lives was dictated down to the second. You woke up at six in the morning and ran laps around the track. You had as much free time as you earned between whenever you finished your laps and when breakfast started at seven: the faster you ran, the more free time you got.

Eight to noon was physical training. After lunch was different depending on the day: three days a week you had mental training for whatever field you were going into, mostly flight simulation for the pilots. Another day was more combat training, and the last was an alternate, for first aid, written tests, marksmanship, and other courses along those lines. After that you had more physical training, like sparring and hand-to-hand combat, then dinner, then free time. Lights out was strictly at ten-thirty every night, and then you’d start it all over again the next day.

Now, you stood in line with the other cadets training to be pilots, waiting to hear your class ranks. Every month, they would announce a ranking of all cadets, a score averaged in test results, simulator scores, and overall performance. The better you ranked, the better your placement once you graduated.

“Third place, Park. Eighty-nine point nine,” the sergeant read off, making a small boy a few rows away from you puff up his chest in pride. You weren’t sure why anyone would feel proud of not getting an A, but you pushed that thought away.

You swallowed hard, holding your breath. There were only two spots left, and if you’d scored higher than Park, that meant you got an A and were either in second or first place out of the whole class. You didn’t know everyone’s names yet, so you weren’t sure who you were competing with.

“Second place, Y/L/N. Ninety-five point two.”

You heard the impressed murmur of others in the class before all of them were silenced by a firm look from the sergeant. Your heart sank, your hands curling into tight fists. Second place? You’d been so sure before now that you were working harder than all the other cadets. You were smarter than them, faster, more focused. Who the fuck had beaten you?

“First place, Kim. Ninety-five point three.”

Your brow furrowed. You weren’t sure who this Kim was, but you set your jaw, becoming determined to learn everything about them so you could beat them. Whatever their weaknesses were, you’d find them and exploit them.

You snuck a glance around you, trying to figure out who Kim was, and nearly jumped out of your skin when the tall boy next to you made eye contact with you, raising one eyebrow in the most smug, cocky, asshole-ish look you’d ever seen. That one singular eyebrow quirk, the corner of his lip curling up barely noticeably, all of it made you want to seethe and strangle him.

You’d noticed this man before, but had never thought much of him. He was taller than all the other men, but he hadn’t come off as particularly smart or extraordinary. This guy was the one who’d beaten you?

Now that you looked at him, you noticed he was definitely very muscular. Had he beaten your score through his strength? You could work harder at weight lifting and beat him. Were his test scores perfect? You could make yourself study even more.

Whatever it was that made him first place, you’d find out and beat him.

II.

In the following weeks, you began to wonder how you’d ever missed Kim Namjoon.

You and Namjoon both worked harder than everyone else. You both trained longer, started earlier in the morning and kept going until you were the last ones left. You both pushed yourselves harder than all of your other classmates, academically and physically. Before he was placed first in the class, you hadn’t even noticed him, but now he was the bane of your existence, and you existed only to beat him and come out on top.

You were faster and more agile, but Namjoon was by far stronger. You almost wanted to dispute the scoring system; what use was strength for a pilot? You weren’t soldiers. He needed fast reflexes and precision, not fighting skills or the ability to deadlift two hundred pounds. Was he planning on picking up planes and throwing them at the alien ships? It was so stupid.

The second month of bootcamp, you were the top of the class, and Namjoon was second place now. You smiled smugly to yourself and kept your eyes focused forward, staying perfectly at attention like the other cadets, but you could feel his eyes on you and almost sense his focused anger, that same emotion you’d felt when he’d first beaten you.

After the ranking announcements, you went to combat training in the gym, but your instructor called out both your name and Namjoon’s before you could even get started.

“I want the two of you to spar,” the instructor said as the two of you ran up. “No rules, just fighting. You can use boxing, wrestling, martial arts, whatever you want — just don’t kill each other.”

You narrowed your eyes at Namjoon, almost expecting him to refuse to fight you, for being a girl. Besides occasional glares, the two of you had never so much as said a word to each other, but you figured smug alpha male assholes were all the same.

But instead, Namjoon smiled and said, “All right.” He almost seemed eager to get in the ring and teach you a lesson.

Now, you eyed him from across the ring, how he was watching you with a smug little smirk as he wrapped his knuckles.

“To win, pin the other person’s back to the mat for five full seconds,” your instructor said carefully. “Their back has to fully touch the ground, not just shoulders. They don’t have to be conscious to be pinned.”

You and Namjoon made eye contact at that.

“Whoever wins doesn’t have to run laps next week. Loser runs double laps before eating. You both ready?”

You and Namjoon ended up drawing a crowd of spectators.

The moment the instructor said start, you ran, jumped, and wrapped your legs around his head, twisting and throwing him to the ground so that he was on his back and you stood over his head, smirking down at his stupid surprised face.

He’d hit the mat hard, the breath completely knocked out of him. A few people in the crowd murmured quietly to themselves and quietly asked each other if the fight was already over. You let out a shaky breath, letting yourself feel proud for a split second as you glanced at the spectators, but before you could register what was happening, Namjoon grabbed you by both your legs, making you twist and fall hard on your back, too.

You tried to crawl away from him, but he just pulled you under him by your legs, climbing on top of you and trying to hold you down with his hands. You arched your back as high as you could, touching the mat only with your shoulders and ass as Namjoon fought to grab your wrists. He was on top of you, straddling your abdomen and trying to keep you down without actually touching your chest, and you watched him bite his lip and heard him growl as he focused on not getting hit while you thrashed beneath him.

You brought your leg up and kneed his kidney as hard as you could, making him groan before moving back to pin your legs down too. You could now easily keep your back fully off the mat, but he was straddling you much lower now, bending over you and still trying to grab your arms. This close, you could smell him, his sweat and masculine scent mixed with the cheap soap you all were given, and you had to push aside the fact you kind of liked the way he smelled.

You were panting hard, your chest rising and falling rapidly with each deep breath. You watched Namjoon as he glanced down at your breasts, before his eyes snapped back up at your face, his eyes wide as if he were surprised he’d let himself look.

“Having fun?” you teased, smirking up at him.

“Tons,” he growled, finally catching one of your hands and pinning it down by your wrist.

You hooked your leg up as far as you could, wrapping it around him and using his close proximity to your advantage. This seemed to catch Namjoon very off guard, and you felt more than heard him make a noise in surprise as you essentially embraced him, not giving him any space to move or do anything as you pulled your hand free and wrapped all your limbs around him, hanging off of him like a leach.

Namjoon sat back on his knees, and you held onto him, your legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders, waiting for your moment to use his weight against him and throw him on his back. He was squirming and wearing himself out, while you just squeezed him, hard enough you heard something in him crack.

“What are you doing?” he grumbled, trying to pry you off of him. Before you could answer, he grabbed you by your hair and jerked your head backwards, making you gasp and cry out. He started to force you off by getting his hands between your bodies, but you surprised him, grabbing his throat with both hands and squeezing.

Namjoon forcefully brought his hands down on your arms, bending them so that you let go of his neck, and now you were much closer to his face, nearly nose to nose as he still sat there on his knees with you hanging off of him. He held your wrists with both hands now as you tried to struggle free from him, and when you realized you couldn’t, you twisted one wrist, bringing his hand up to your mouth and biting down as hard as you could on the meat of his thumb.

He yelped and let go of you, but before you could use the moment to your advantage, he grabbed you and pushed you off of him, throwing you down away from him while he scrambled back and looked at his hand.

Your body bounced as you hit the mat, rolling a few times until you slammed against the edge of the ring. Namjoon was back on you before you could react, and you felt him behind you, trying to roll you over so he could pin you down on your back again. You brought your head back hard and connected with his nose, making him jump back again.

When you looked back at him, Namjoon was standing across the ring, holding his nose and glaring at you as you jumped to your feet too.

You circled each other for a moment, both closely watching the other’s every move like prey.

His nose was bleeding heavily, both of you out of breath and covered in sweat.  You were pretty sure you had a bruised rib from him throwing you, your lungs burning from exertion from the fight. Everyone who’d been in the gym was now watching, none of them speaking as the two of you circled each other.

You ran at each other at the same time, Namjoon throwing a swing that you easily ducked. While his momentum was off, you punched him hard in the stomach, making him bend over in pain.

He was being sloppy, maybe distracted from his pain and anger, or maybe he was just more of a big clumsy oaf who relied on strength alone than you’d thought. You knew he was smart based on his test scores, but none of that appeared to translate to agility or finesse. He was fighting clumsy and angry, but you only felt more focused now, catching yourself smiling as you almost enjoyed yourself.

When you tried to strike him again, moving to hit your elbow between his shoulders while he was bent over, he turned and reached up, grabbing your neck with both hands. You broke his hold easily, and used that moment to bring your hand up and smack his injured nose.

Namjoon groaned in pain, holding his nose again. You grabbed his free hand, twisting it until he turned around and fell to his knees, yelling in pain, his arm bent painfully behind his back. You now stood behind him, Namjoon unable to move unless he wanted you to break or dislocate his arm, you on your feet with him on his knees.

“Do you forfeit?” you said, pulling his arm up another inch and making him hiss in pain. You could see how much he was sweating and panting, and ignored the way it sent a shiver of lust through you.

“You play dirty,” he seethed. Just standing close to him, you could feel the way heat radiated off of him. You’d noticed before that he was a sweaty guy, but now he was shining with it.

“I seem to remember being told that there were no rules for this fight,” you said, smiling proudly to yourself as you held the large man in place with one hand.

Instead of responding, Namjoon threw himself backwards into you, knocking you off your feet. You were on your back now and he was on his back on top of you, pinning you there. He had to have at least pulled his arm out of socket doing that move, and his body tensed from the pain, but he didn’t stop.

Namjoon pushed down with his shoulders as hard as he could, arching his back and standing up on his feet, bending his legs to put even more weight on just his shoulders to trap you there under him. You were crushed by him, barely able to breathe, let alone keep yourself fully off the mat.

He was so big and heavy, his shoulders wide enough to pin your arms down. You did the only thing you could think to do in the moment, what you hoped would give you an advantage again. You leaned in and bit down where his shoulder met his neck, the same side his arm was dislocated, and you bit down hard.

Namjoon yelped in surprise and pain, and you wrapped your arms around him in a chokehold so that when he tried to roll away, you went with him. He twisted in your arms until he was on top of you, facing you again, and this time you brought your knee up hard between his legs, his eyes closing as he groaned in agony.

You easily pushed him off and got on top of him, straddling his chest and pinning him down. Your knees pressed your full weight down on his biceps, including his injured arm, which made him groan in pain with every harsh exhale. He arched his back and tried to push you off of him, but he could barely move or reach you, his arms both pinned outward.

“Tired of getting your ass kicked yet?” you goaded, raising an eyebrow when Namjoon glared up at you. “How were you ever the top of our class? This is a little too easy.”

“Fuck you,” he growled, seething hard, blood all over his mouth and chin from his broken nose. His back still wasn’t technically on the ground though, so you needed to think of a way to make him stay down.

You were straddling his chest, so you moved your hips forward suddenly before throwing your whole body back, slamming yourself down hard and completely knocking the wind out of him. You simultaneously knocked him down so that his back was against the mat, and purposefully hit the back of your head against his crotch, which had to still be hurting from when you’d just kneed him a minute ago, so that he wouldn’t have the strength to get himself back up for a few seconds. You heard what you thought was a crack, which you really hoped wasn’t his crotch, before you heard and felt him groaning in pain.

The instructor counted out, and you won. You immediately jumped off of him and looked down at the damage.

Blood covered Namjoon’s chin, mouth, and neck, all from his nose wound, which you’d smacked more than once. He was bleeding from the bite on his neck, and his shoulder did not look right, pulled painfully out of socket and potentially broken. He rolled onto his side away from you and moaned, the hand of his arm that wasn’t dislocated over his crotch as he curled up in a ball on the ground.

“You all right?” you asked cautiously, stepping out of the way as the instructor rushed in to help him. Namjoon held up his middle finger to you, closing his eyes as he tried to breathe steadily.

You snorted in amusement and went off to the locker room to shower.

That night, Namjoon limped into dinner.

You were sitting by yourself at a table near the back, reading a book written by a pilot from before the attacks. Namjoon sat down across from you, as if sitting together was something the two of you normally did.

His nose was badly bruised and taped up, definitely broken. Judging by the limp he’d come in with, you’d messed up something below deck. His arm seemed to have been popped back in socket, but you could see the bruising spreading over his collarbone under his t-shirt, and his arm was in a sling. He had bite marks on his neck and hand, and the one on his neck had needed stitches.

You tried not to smile to yourself.

“Y/L/N?” he asked, like he wasn’t sure of your name, like you two weren’t rivals constantly competing and you hadn’t kicked his ass a few hours ago.

“Kim,” you said, returning the formality.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, so you went back to eating, trying not to look over at him. He rested his non-injured hand on his stomach, and you wondered if you’d broken one of his ribs or if he was just hungry.

“You planning on eating?” you asked him after a moment.

Namjoon actually smiled, laughing to himself weakly.

“I don’t think I even have the energy to walk across the room to get food,” he murmured, his voice a little deeper than usual.

Without a word, you stood, walking straight across the room to get another plate of food. When you returned and placed it in front of him, he looked up at you with wide eyes, confused and shocked by your gesture.

“Do you need me to cut it up for you, too?” you teased, though glancing at his arm, you wondered if he’d actually need that.

Namjoon shook his head after a moment, glancing down at his plate.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. You saw a small, genuine smile on his lips, and you realized then for the very first time that he had dimples.

III.

The following week came, as did Namjoon’s punishment week for losing the sparring match. The first morning, you noticed him waking up earlier than everyone else to go start his laps, since he had to do double. You quickly got dressed and followed.

You ran up beside him as he slowly jogged around the track.

“What are you doing?” He looked over at you, furrowing his brow but not stopping.

“Running laps,” you answered flatly.

You ran the same number of laps as he did that morning, despite having won the right not to run this week. Namjoon, you learned, had a broken rib and pulled groin in addition to all the other stuff you’d done to him, and he’d been given an out and didn’t have to run any laps after all. Your instructor had told him that he needed to focus on healing and not accidentally hurt himself more. He didn’t have to do combat training or anything else physical until he was healed, but he still ran his punishment laps anyway, completely by choice, and so you ran them too, matching his pace the entire time, neither of you saying a word to the other.

Despite getting his ass kicked in the sparring match, the rest of the cadets viewed Namjoon as almost a superhero after that. They respected how well he’d taken a beating; he was the guy who kept fighting, even with half a dozen injuries and multiple broken bones. You were the only one who’d been able to best him, using just your speed to outwit him, and now the rest of the class respected you both even more. Namjoon was a nearly unstoppable tank, and you were the lithe fox that beat him.

As boot camp continued, you and Namjoon continued your quiet friendship, neither of you the overly gushy or warm type, both focused only on training. You studied together, and started helping each other instead of competing. Both of you only improved your scores and times.

Namjoon helped you with your physical training, helping you get stronger. You helped him with his marksmanship, precision, and speed. You regularly sparred and fought and pushed each other further. You studied together, fought together, ate together, did everything together.

The first year of Corps ended, and you entered the second year. This was more specialized, focused on specifically becoming a pilot with more time on flight training instead of physical and military training, which you still definitely had a lot of.

Your class was smaller now, but you still slept in a co-ed barrack. You and Namjoon picked spots next to each other this year.

One night during winter break, almost everyone else had gone home for the week, the two of you essentially having the base to yourselves. It was well past midnight and after lights out, but you and Namjoon laid in your beds talking quietly, both on your sides facing each other. You only had about a foot of space between your beds, and you could just barely make out his face in the dark.

Namjoon told you that he remembered the attacks, losing his family, everything. He’d had a sister too, and had lived in a suburb, not one of the cities. He didn’t explain further, but said that he remembered what happened to his family, and that he’d been found in the woods by himself weeks later. He’d only been seven years old at the time, and you wondered how the hell he’d made it on his own for so long.

You got the feeling he was used to being on his own, and didn’t let himself get attached to anything or anyone. Part of you wanted to reach out and touch him, put your hand on his shoulder and tell him he didn’t have to be alone anymore. But instead you sighed, ignoring the way his sad eyes made your heart ache.

IV.

Your second year turned into your third, and you and Namjoon only became closer. You both planned to go on to a fourth year of training, even though it wasn’t required, as it would give you higher credentials and clearance when you finished. Both of you still strived to be perfect, after all.

Halfway through your third year together, you realized Namjoon was the closest thing you had to family. You both saw each other pretty much every moment of every day. You both didn’t leave the base for holidays, so the longest you’d been apart since first meeting was a few hours, at most.

You were constantly together, even when you didn’t need to be. You woke up early and ran laps, even though you were no longer required to — only first year cadets ran laps, but you both continued because… you didn’t know why, and you didn’t question it. You loved running with him.

That first year together, Namjoon had been stoic and quiet. He didn’t talk much, unless directly questioned, and even then he kept his answers as concise as possible. You weren’t exactly talkative, but when the two of you talked to each other alone, especially in the past few years, Namjoon began coming out of his shell. When he wasn’t guarded and quiet, he was warm and funny, almost loving in his own kind of way. You got the feeling he was naturally full of love, but had pushed that part of himself down in the years he’d spent alone and in shelters.

Now, you were giving Namjoon a haircut. His hair grew weirdly fast, and there were rules about keeping everything, including hair, perfectly in uniform. Men had to have very short hair and be clean-shaven, which meant Namjoon had to get a haircut basically every other week.

When it was warm you did this outside, but now it was winter and you were in the locker room. While you worked, you talked about upcoming tests and other little things. You kept catching Namjoon looking up at you as you stood in front of him, between his spread legs, and he seemed to be getting bolder, watching your face outright instead of just stealing glances.

“Close your eyes and tilt your head back,” you mumbled, trying to hide the fact you were blushing and flustered. Namjoon listened without a word, and you let yourself look at him for just a second; your faces were close, even with him sitting and you standing, because of how tall he was. You’d been obsessed with his lips lately, finding yourself fantasizing about them at the most inopportune times, thinking about how soft and full they looked and wondering what they’d feel like against your own.

Before you could pull yourself from your thoughts and start on the front of his hair, the power suddenly cut out.

You let out a small gasp, but this wasn’t exactly surprising around here. The power went out often because of the testing they were doing with switching over completely to alien tech for larger power structures. Still, you’d gasped in surprise because you’d been so focused on Namjoon’s face, and now the two of you were alone together in a dark locker room.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asked, his hands coming up to rest on your hips.

Of course you were okay; the lights had just gone off.

“Yeah,” you answered anyway. You moved your hands from over his head to his shoulders, feeling him in the dark.

“It’ll be back on in a second, we’re okay,” he said, his thumbs moving slightly, like he was trying to comfort you.

“I know,” you said, your voice sounding small. You weren’t afraid at all, but you didn’t want him to stop what he was doing.

The lights came back on then, and you looked down at him. Namjoon smiled up at you, dimples on full display, and it nearly took your breath away. He had a little piece of cut hair on his cheek, which you gently brushed away, and he wrinkled his nose at you, making your heart ache.

You finished giving him his haircut, and afterwards he pulled off his shirt and went over to one of the showers, to wash off the pieces of hair you’d cut. You gathered up the electric razor and your other belongings while you heard him undressing behind you, turning on the shower and humming happily to himself.

You stopped yourself from looking at him as you walked out of the room and went back to the barracks, refusing to let yourself think about him showering or the way he’d looked at you.

VI.

Your last year of training was mostly just the two of you working together and with various superior officers. You’d get promotions and rank changes after some time in the field, but you’d start out as Senior Airmen, and would probably both make Staff Sergeant within a few years of graduating. There were no wars or active duty anymore, but it meant you’d both be given leadership positions, if ever the need arose.

After graduation, you and Namjoon would both receive your assignments and placements. You’d both requested to be placed together, without requesting anything else. You could be sent anywhere in the world, given any position; you didn’t care where you ended up though, as long as you were with him.

Since it was your last year, you were both given proper rooms instead of barracks. The rooms were small and minimal, but your room was right across from Namjoon’s. You spent a lot of time in each other’s rooms, even sometimes sleeping over.

Now, you laid on Namjoon’s bed in his room, while he sat at the chair by his desk with his feet propped up on the end of his bed. He was playing with a stress ball, passing it back and forth between his hands. You’d finished all your testing and training, so you were both basically just resting until graduation, anticipating your placements. It was late at night, the rest of the base quiet and sleeping.

“Dream placement,” you said, turning your head and pointing at him. “Go.”

“Oh, man…” Namjoon rolled his head back, looking at the ceiling. “Southern California.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “What’s in Southern California, besides desert?”

“That’s the closest base to where the first ship went down. They’ve got the best tech out there, the best planes.”

“Okay, true,” you sighed. “But there’s nothing out there for miles. There’d be nothing to do.”

“What else is there, besides flying?” Namjoon threw the little ball he was playing with gently so it bounced off the wall beside you and landed on your stomach.

“I like flying and being able to see something besides sand, rock, and craters for hundreds of miles,” you said, tossing the ball back to him.

“You feel like you’re going faster if you don’t have anything to look at,” he said, catching the ball with one hand and tossing it behind him onto his desk.

“You also get lost easier,” you laughed, propping yourself up on your elbows.

“Not if you’re a good navigator,” Namjoon laughed too, standing up and moving onto the bed with you. He wasn’t exactly tickling you, but he was touching your body and you were both giggling as he laid down beside you.

“If you want to feel like you’re going fast, then just go fast,” you said, your hands on his shoulders now as you grinned up at him. He was partially on top of you, partially beside you as he smiled down at you, his mouth so close to yours.

“I want to go even faster,” he said, but he stilled suddenly, looking down at you with wide eyes. He seemed to have suddenly realized the position the two of you were in, and he moved so that he was just beside you, laying on his side as you laid on your back.

You sighed. It was always like this — not that you were complaining, because you loved the relationship you already had with him. But lately, you’d get so close, almost kissing, almost embracing, almost something, and then he’d back off. You still loved the moments before, where you could forget that you were just friends and pretend you were something more, as much as it ended up hurting your heart in the long run.

Even now, you loved this. Namjoon propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at you as you continued talking, a different topic now. Your mouths were only a few inches apart. It would be so easy for him to just lean down and kiss you, like you wanted him to so badly.

Namjoon’s hand that wasn’t supporting his head rested on your stomach. You put your hands there too, playing with him, feeling his long fingers and how big his hand was, and Namjoon let you, pretending not to notice.

You talked about graduation plans, life plans, little nothings that made each other sadly smile. Neither of you said it, but you both worried you wouldn’t be placed together.

“What’s your dream placement?” he asked you gently, his voice soft.

“You know, I don’t even care,” you said. Because it didn’t matter where they put you as long as you were with him, but you didn’t say that.

That night the two of you fell asleep like that, in that position. It wasn’t the first time.

VII.

When you woke up, you could feel Namjoon’s gentle breathing on your neck. You turned your head and looked at him, studying his expression in the early morning calm.

He was still on his side facing you, so now you were face-to-face, your foreheads and noses only a few inches apart. His hand still rested on your stomach, and you still held his hand there with both of your hands. You felt his fingers twitch a little in his sleep and wondered what he was dreaming about. His other arm was under the pillow now, and through it you could almost feel the swell of his bicep and warmth of his skin.

You only ever let yourself really look at him like this when he was sleeping, when the two of you had sleepovers in each other’s rooms. You studied the shape of his nose, the way his big, plush lips parted, the puffiness of his cheeks as he relaxed and breathed, every freckle and mole on his face that you wanted to kiss so badly. Cuddled up with him like this, you could feel how warm he was; Namjoon was a furnace of a man, and you’d gotten so used to sharing a bed with him the past few months, you now had to layer up and sleep with an extra blanket whenever you slept alone.

Namjoon sighed then, shifting a little in his sleep. You quickly closed your eyes and turned your head back so you weren’t facing him directly, in case he opened his eyes.

You felt him moving, shifting so that his arm was hugging you instead of his hand just resting on you. His hand was now on your side, below your armpit, his thumb on the side of your breast. He sighed and seemed to fall back asleep, softly snoring again after a few moments.

You laid like that for a while, enjoying this feeling, knowing you’d never have this for real. You'd never wake up next to Namjoon in the context you wanted, but this was more than enough for you. You were so in love with him, but he didn’t see you the same way, so you’d enjoy waking up in his arms for as long as you could.

When Namjoon eventually woke up on his own, he seemed to slowly realize the position you were in, moving his hand down carefully to more platonic territory. You opened your eyes and turned your head to look at him, and were caught off guard by the way he was staring at you so openly, looking down at your mouth for a few moments before looking back at your eyes with an expression you couldn’t name.

“Y/N,” he murmured, so softly you could barely hear him, but you could feel the rumble of it in his chest. You didn’t say anything, both of you just looking at each other in the peaceful quiet stillness of early morning, the only noises both of your gentle breathing.

Namjoon moved his hand up to your shoulder, and then his hand was cupping your cheek, brushing your hair back from your face. The tips of your noses were almost touching, his warm breath on your lips. He closed his eyes and put his forehead against yours, your heart almost stopping in your chest from how close he was. He’s never done anything like this before, and you definitely were not going to stop him.

He turned his head slightly, your foreheads still connected as the tip of his nose skimmed along your cheek, by your nose. He brushed his lips against yours so lightly you could barely feel him, his eyes still closed. You could feel his eyelashes tickling your cheek, and prayed he couldn’t feel how fast your heart was racing or how you nearly whimpered at his every touch.

Namjoon moved and brushed his barely parted lips against the corner of your mouth, your chin, your jaw. His hand on your cheek, he stroked your skin with his thumb slowly, touching you, feeling you. His leg moved up slowly, hooking over yours, and you spread your legs for him. You couldn’t even think straight right now, the only things your brain were processing were the touches and sensations Namjoon was giving you.

What the hell was he doing? The thought of him seeing you romantically, the same way you saw him, had seemed so impossible before now, but now, as he brushed his lips against your skin, you wondered if he’d been longing the same way you had.

Namjoon turned your head carefully, slightly away from him, so that you were looking directly up again. He kissed your cheek closer to him while he stroked the other, pressing gentle open-mouthed kisses down your face and neck as he slowly moved himself on top of you. You, matching his slow movements, wrapped your legs loosely around him and held onto his shoulders.

Namjoon kissed your skin as lightly as he could, feeling you anywhere you’d let him, and you were lost in him. He switched to your other side, kissing your collarbone and neck and jaw, and one of his hands moved up behind your head, tangling in your hair. Every movement was slow and deliberate and gentle.

You never would’ve guessed Namjoon was the gentle type, but now that this was happening, it made sense and you craved it. He closed his lips lightly against your earlobe and you gasped loudly, trying to arch up against him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against your ear. “So soft, so perfect, my angel, my love.” His voice was so warm and deep, and you quietly whimpered, holding onto his shoulders even tighter. You felt like he could make you come just from this, just from his light touches and hearing his deep voice praise you. You'd wanted him so badly for years now, you’d dreamed about him, fantasized nonstop, and now here he was, and the tension was already building up for you.

He hadn’t even fully kissed your mouth yet. Namjoon pressed his lips against your cheek, caressing the other side of your face with his hand, just holding your body so close to his. You swore you could die right now and be fine with that.

An alarm suddenly blared, and both of your bodies stilled and tensed.

Namjoon jumped off of you and sat back on his legs, looking around the room like he was expecting to see what was happening written on the walls. You sat up too, looking around. Your legs were still spread, your brain still hazy from Namjoon’s kisses, and you looked at him as you saw him working through what was happening.

“Something’s wrong,” Namjoon said, quickly jumping up. He sat back down on the side of his bed long enough to put on his shoes. “Come on,” he said, pulling you up when he stood again.

You snapped yourself out of your lust-haze. The alarm was still going off, which meant something major was happening right now. It wasn’t just a test.

You left, quickly scampering across the hall to your own room so you could get dressed.

You and Namjoon met up in between your rooms a moment later, both in uniform, and ran down together to where the rest of the base had gathered, Namjoon taking your hand in his as you ran.

VIII.

It was another attack, like when you were young.

You all stood there at attention receiving orders, none of you looking anywhere except forward blankly. This was it, everything you had trained for, the exact reason you’d trained so hard. They were back.

You and Namjoon were both assigned as squadron leaders to two different units, Namjoon to Red One and you to Blue One. Those were two of the best, most elite units of fighter jets, but you looked over at him when you got your assignments. You weren’t together, so you wouldn’t know if he was okay until after it was all over.

You were all dismissed and had fifteen minutes to get to your planes and prepare for launch. You went straight to your plane, not stopping to talk to Namjoon. You knew you wouldn’t be able to leave him once you looked at him, so it was better to just pretend this morning hadn’t happened.

You were just starting to climb the ladder up to your plane when you heard his voice.

“Not saying goodbye?”

You froze in your tracks, but didn’t turn or look at him. You couldn’t make yourself say anything, instead just staring straight in front of you with your hands on the rungs of the ladder.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice much softer now as he walked over to you. The planes were close together so you were in tight quarters, and he stood right behind you, his hands not quite touching your sides.

“What?” you said, not looking back at him.

“Please don’t leave without saying goodbye,” he said. You'd never heard his voice like this. Quiet, pleading, loving. It was like this morning in bed, but more desperate, yearning, begging you to look at him.

You started to move up the ladder without turning around, and he put his hands on your hips, stopping you. He immediately let go, not wanting to trap you there.

You sighed and turned around to face him, only partially, still a step up on the ladder so you were just slightly taller than him. You reached back and held onto the ladder with one hand as you looked at him.

When you saw the expression on his face, it took your breath away. He looked almost tearful, sick with worry, trying to be stronger than how he obviously felt.

“Goodbye,” you said softly, bringing your free hand up to his cheek.

He stood there for a moment, just looking at you. You stroked his cheek with your thumb and tried to smile weakly. His hair was getting a little long, you noticed then for some reason. He was supposed to keep it short to stay in uniform, but now it looked long enough for you to run your fingers through.

Namjoon’s eyes were wide and innocent, searching your face. Around you, the base was chaotic and busy as other pilots ran to their planes and officers barked out orders and engines started up. The two of you just stood there in your quiet moment, both a lot less excited about your first mission than you’d thought you’d be, everything happening so much sooner then you’d both thought and on such a larger scale than you ever could have anticipated. You remembered almost wanting this when you were young, promising yourself that you’d be ready if they ever came back. Maybe the universe was punishing you; whenever you loved someone, the universe immediately sought to take it from you. Your family when you were young, and now Namjoon.

He looked like he wanted to kiss you or tell you something. He parted his lips and glanced at your mouth, his brow furrowing as he breathed, and he looked back up at your eyes, his expression so worried.

“I’ll see you soon,” you said, smiling gently.

You turned and climbed up into your plane without another word.

V.

There had been twenty pilots in your squadron when you left, and four when you returned.

You didn’t really remember the aliens from when you were little, but you’d seen countless videos. You knew what they looked like, how they performed, what their technology was supposed to be like, what their weaknesses had been.

You saw so many planes go down. The alien ship had a different defense than last time, and the fight was only over when the alien ship suddenly left and moved on, seemingly just because it wanted to, not because the humans posed any kind of threat to it. When it left, it had taken out an entire city, just like last time. The town near the base had only recently gotten its infrastructure set up.

You and your three surviving pilots returned first out of all the other squadrons. You quickly climbed out of your plane and ran down to the hangar, asking about the other pilots still out there. You needed to know if Namjoon was okay.

Before you even got to the hangar, another alarm started blaring. A plane near you exploded, and you spun around, looking up at the sky.

There had to be over a hundred alien ships in the sky, all firing on the base and the planes.

“Get inside, now!” you yelled, pointing at the pilots from your squadron who’d ducked down near their planes. You knew the base had a bunker, and the number of people at the base now could easily survive down there long-term.

There was panic as people got down there as fast as they could, all climbing over each other and yelling. You stayed back where you could see the sky, ducking down in a safe spot and watching as long as you could. You only saw alien ships, none of your own.

You imagined Namjoon’s last seconds. If he hadn’t made it back to the base, there was no way he’d survive. The ships would find him. You could only see the planes you’d seen exploding earlier, hear the voices of the pilots in your squadron on your coms as their ships exploded. A cut-off shout, and then nothing.

You finally made yourself run down to the bunker. In the distance, you could hear the ships destroying every visible part of the base, every last truck and car and plane and tank exploding as the blasts hit them. The walls shook and lights flickered and dust fell from the ceiling as you made your way down the stairwell to the bunker.

Over the destruction above you, you could hear Namjoon’s voice that morning in his bed, the world frozen around you then, the only things that mattered his large, gentle hands, his slow, exploring mouth, and his soft voice.

“You’re so beautiful,” he’d breathed against your neck. You'd been able to feel his smile, the tip of his nose tracing your jaw, the warmth of his breath on your skin. You'd never felt safer than when you were laying in bed with him.

You pushed the door of the bunker shut behind you, your hands shaking and eyes welling up. You could not think about this; you had to push all of that aside for now. You had a job to do.

After about five minutes down in the bunker, the lights went out. The weak backup generator kicked on near-immediately, but now there was no connection to the outside world. If any pilots managed to survive this long, the base wouldn’t know about it or have any way of contacting them.

When you’d taken off, both you and Namjoon had been promoted to captains, to lead your squadrons. Once all of the remaining people at the base were down in the bunker and accounted for, you were promoted again, this time to major.

Almost everyone out of the thousand or so people on the base had gone out to fight. The only people who’d stayed behind were ground control officers, technicians, first years, civilians who worked on the base, and the top few people in charge. There were maybe a few hundred people down in the massive bunker now, and you ranked sixth in command out of all of them.

Namjoon would’ve been so jealous you outranked him, you thought with a small smile.

VI.

Four days passed with no news.

There was no service. There was no internet, radio, or any connection to the outside world.

You were itching to get out. There was no news from the outside world, but there also hadn’t been any explosions since the first day. The alien ships had to be gone by now. On the second day, you’d tried to suggest to the general that you could go up to the surface and see if an evacuation could be planned, but the general and other officers had all said that there was no need to evacuate, because there were plenty of supplies down here. They would continue to work on regaining communications with other bases, and nothing else immediately mattered until then.

Now, you were on your cot, staring at the ceiling above you. It was the middle of the night and just about everyone else was asleep. Most people slept on cots in what looked like an old gym, all lined up in long rows. Everyone had been given two changes of clothes, all gray jumpsuits. You felt like you were in prison.

The scratchy wool blanket was pulled up to your neck. You tried to imagine sharing the cot with Namjoon, the two of you squeezed onto the spot only meant for one and giggling when you just barely fit. You imagined him spooning you, kissing your neck and shoulder and holding you close to him. You imagined feeling his heartbeat in his chest. You imagined his face when his plane exploded.

It wasn’t fair. You’d literally just become something more than friends, maybe, kind of. Your relationship with Namjoon meant everything to you, and it had suddenly been changing in such amazing ways, and then he’d immediately been taken from you.

You refused to cry about this. You refused to even accept he was gone. There were ways he could’ve survived. There had to be. He could’ve flown low and ejected and hidden in the rubble of the city. Except he wasn’t a coward; you knew him, and you knew he was the type to win or die fighting. He could’ve led other survivors away from the city. Except there was no way these planes could’ve outrun the alien ships. They weren’t fast enough.

There had to be a way. You had to get up to the surface and find out. You had to find him.

VII.

After one week down in the bunker, you felt like you were going out of your mind.

You had a plan. You were going to go to the surface whether they let you or not. You were going to find Namjoon, or at least the remains of his plane. You were going to find him or find closure.

You needed climbing gear to get up the destroyed stairwell. You’d need to find rope and gear, a lot of water, and survival supplies. You began your plan, looking around for spare supplies nobody would notice was missing until you were gone. You knew where to find rope, but you had to figure out how to acquire and carry enough water. Plus you would need to bring medical supplies, in case Namjoon was injured. God, you could just imagine him, laying somewhere, bleeding out and barely conscious. You wondered if he’d thought of you, imagined you coming to save him.

You were seconds away from stealing rope from a supply closet when a short little man walked around the corner.

“Major?”

You froze in place. You weren’t in the room yet; you were innocent.

“Yes?” you said, smiling politely.

“The general wants to see you,” he said, and left without adding anything else.

Shit. How had they known? You hadn’t done anything yet, or told anyone or written anything down.

You made your way to the command center. Not much was going on there in the way of commanding anything, but it was where the higher ups — which now included you — met, and it was where they were attempting to reestablish communications with the outside world.

The room was busy with officers buzzing around. There were a lot of exposed wires hanging out of the walls. It looked like they were rebuilding a computer system circa 1970.

“Major,” the general said, motioning you over.

“Yes, sir?”

“You’re the highest ranking field officer, so this goes to you first,” he said, handing you a manila folder. “We’ve established communication with a base a hundred and fifty miles from here, but only briefly. They said they have seven survivors from our base. They didn’t say who.” The general quickly added the last part when he saw your face light up at the mention of survivors.

You glanced down at the folder. Before you could speak, the general continued.

“We need someone — a pilot — to go up to the surface and see if any planes are still intact, and if so, fly to Walker Base. If there aren’t any planes left, we’ll probably have you try to find a car, or hike if you have to. We need to get our relay codes to that base, and once we do, we’ll have full communication with them again. You up for it?”

You looked up at the general, smiling.

VIII.

It took you about an hour to climb the staircase. Most of it was rubble and a lot of it involved throwing up a rope and securing it on something to climb the huge gaps where the stairs had fallen out, but you eventually got to the top, pushing aside debris to get yourself outside.

The base was gone. There was no way any planes survived this. Still, you walked out onto the strip, just in case.

Some of the piles of charred metal were still smoking. A few small fires were still going, most of them out in the lot, where jet fuel must still be feeding them. You tried to see if you could spot where your and Namjoon’s rooms used to be, but it was all just rubble, ash, and charred cinderblocks.

You walked down the landing strip, looking at the piles of scorched plane parts, blasted to nothing. Pieces of metal jutted up, a plane wing here, a part of engine there. Every pile you saw, you imagined seeing Namjoon’s body among them. You knew if he was dead, he wouldn’t be here, he’d be out in the city — but seeing all of the destroyed planes wasn’t helping.

You stopped in your tracks.

At the end of the landing strip, under a broken wing of a much larger plane, was the most beautiful F-15 Eagle you had ever seen.

You ran to it, climbing on it when you reached it and pushing aside the wing of the bigger plane until it clamored to the ground. You climbed into the cockpit, dropping your backpack with supplies and the relay codes into the little compartment, feeling nearly dizzy in euphoria. You prepped the jet for takeoff, everything going smoothly, and you imagined Namjoon’s face when you showed up at the base. He’d be so happy to see you, but so surprised, and when you told him that you got promoted to major–

You stopped for a moment, your smile falling as you stared blankly at your hands on the switches and dials.

You didn’t know if he was one of the survivors at the other base. You shouldn’t get your hopes up just to show up and find out he wasn’t one of the pilots who made it. For all you knew, you’d get there and one of the pilots from Namjoon’s squadron would tell you all about how he died.

You focused on the task in front of you. You were on a mission, first and foremost, to get the relay codes to the base. That was the important thing right now, not yourself or Namjoon.

You got the plane prepped and ready to go. The center of the runway was clear, since most of the planes had been gone.

F-15s were always your favorite.

IX.

You didn’t attract any alien attention while flying, thankfully. You got there in just over twenty minutes; around the fifteen minute mark, you slowed down and the base contacted you on your descent into their airspace. You had to identify yourself and state your intentions, but the base seemed completely willing to let anyone human land.

When you landed, a few people ran out and took care of your plane for you, as you were escorted inside. You handed over the relay codes and quickly asked if you could see the survivors from your base.

“Most of them were pretty shell-shocked when they got here, but they’re soldiers. They know how it is,” the officer escorting you said as the two of you walked. “How many survivors at your base?”

“Three hundred and forty-two,” you said flatly, staring straight in front of you as you walked. “We had four pilots including myself return, the rest were non-flight officers and civilians. No casualties on the ground, but the base was destroyed in an aerial attack shortly after we landed.”

“Yeah, we heard about that. That’s why we got your other pilots,” the guy said, motioning in front of him in the direction you were walking, assumedly at the surviving pilots. “They didn’t have anywhere to land and thought the base was gone, so they came here. All from different squadrons, but led by one captain.”

You perked up when you heard that. A captain had survived.

You really did try not to get your hopes up. Your base was huge; there were so many squadrons, only one captain surviving was not good news for Namjoon. Still, you were hopeful.

You were led to a barrack where a few pilots were sitting around together, all men looking bored out of their minds. You recognized Park from your training class, and a few others as well. You scanned their faces quickly, looking from person to person, desperately searching for him, frantic and anxious and despairing when you looked and didn’t see him–

“Y/N?” a voice said from behind you, and you spun around.

Namjoon had walked in behind you from the other direction; he looked like he’d just taken a shower, from the wet hair, clean clothes, and bag over his shoulder, which he dropped as he stared at you in disbelief.

Neither of you even said anything. You were only about ten feet apart already, but you immediately met in the middle, desperately grabbing at each other, hugging tightly. Your legs were up around his waist and he held you to him as he kissed all over your face. The room was spinning or maybe Namjoon was just spinning you around, you didn’t care, you just held onto him and tried to kiss him, one hand in his hair and the other arm around his shoulder, trying to pull him closer.

As much as you wanted and tried to kiss him, Namjoon was just too much; it was like he was trying to kiss every last millimeter of your face at least twice. He was holding you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe, but you didn’t even care. His skin, his hair, his mouth, his kisses were all the most amazing things you’d ever felt. You were pressed chest-to-chest, arms wrapped around each other, and you could almost feel his heartbeat pumping along with your own.

Namjoon stopped kissing you long enough to nuzzle against you, closing his eyes as he rubbed his cheek against yours, nearly animalistic.

“I missed you so much, my love,” he breathed. You swore his face was wet with tears, his cheek still pressed against your own. “I haven’t thought about anything other than you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you this whole time, I love you so much… god, fuck, when I thought I’d lost you…” He started kissing your cheek again desperately, his hand coming up to hold your other cheek and hold you in place.

“I missed you too,” you gasped, your voice small and high-pitched as you tried and failed to hold in your tears.

“I love you so much, sweetheart. I love you, I love you, I love you,” he kept repeating, not even stopping speaking as he kissed you, so some of his words were muffled.

“I love you, too, Joon,” you managed to say before he kissed your mouth, tilting his head to kiss you so deeply it took your breath away.

“Okay, Jesus Christ,” somebody else in the room said then. “Do you guys want us to, like, leave or something?”

Namjoon stopped, catching his breath as you turned your head to look back at the six other pilots and the officer all awkwardly watching you.

“Uh, sorry,” you muttered, putting your feet back on the ground and turning around. Namjoon kept touching you, not taking his hands off you, even as you faced the others.

“I know you both outrank us, but get a room,” a different pilot laughed, his smile boxy and voice deep.

“You have a room, actually,” the officer that led you in said, perking up like that was his cue.

“We do?” Namjoon asked, confused. He stood behind you, hands on your hips, tall enough to see over your head.

“She does,” the officer gestured to you. “She’s a major. All superior officers class O4 and up get their own private room.”

“Major?” Namjoon said, tilting a little to look at your face. You smiled to yourself smugly.

“I can take you there now,” the officer said, motioning to the door behind him.

Namjoon stepped to the side and looked down at the ground shyly, glancing up at you and pouting. You wanted to roll your eyes; he actually thought you weren’t going to invite him to come with you.

“You too,” you said, holding out your hand for him.

Namjoon beamed, and quickly picked up his bag and jogged over to what must be his bed, grabbing the few belongings he had, and shuffled back over to your side, taking your hand and kissing you on the cheek before following along with you.

“Go get it, captain,” one of the pilots jeered at him, the others all snickering and wolf-whistling as Namjoon dropped your hand long enough to flip all the other pilots off while the officer led the two of you out and down the hallway.

As soon as the door was shut behind you in your room, the officer gone and the two of you alone, Namjoon dropped his belongings and picked you up again, your legs tight around him, the two of you kissing again. You felt your back against the cold metal of the old-fashioned blast door, one of Namjoon’s hands holding your face.

“How’d you get here?” he murmured against your neck after a moment, kissing your cheek between gasps. “They said the base was destroyed, no contact.”

“The attack happened right after I landed. Everyone got down in the bunker, no casualties on the ground,” you gasped, still a little short on breath. As you spoke, Namjoon kissed your neck, working his way up to your jaw. “They needed a pilot to bring relay codes here.”

“What’s this about you being a major now?” he said, smirking, his lips not leaving your cheek.

“Got an upgrade while you were gone,” you said, and then you gasped, laughing as Namjoon suddenly sucked your skin over your pulse on your neck, leaving behind a deep purple hickey.

“Well, Miss Major, that means you outrank me now,” he said, leaning back enough to smile at you, his expression a mix of mischievous and proud.

He stepped backward then, still supporting you with his arms, and walked back until he got to the bed, sitting down on it. He laid back, pulling you down on top of him gently, your mouths connected the whole way down.

He was the best thing you’d ever felt, his large, firm body contrasting his gentle touches and kisses. You couldn’t get close enough to him, but it was slow, lazy, loving, everything you’d ever wanted with him, his soft tongue in your mouth, his firm arms around you, his warm body under you.

You couldn’t get over how good he smelled. There was the soap he’d just used, but you’d known him and been close to him long enough to know his scent. He tasted so good too; he swirled his tongue with yours slowly, tracing lazy patterns on your tongue, kissing you so deeply your head spun. His hands rested on your back, his fingers spreading wider as he tried to touch more of you.

You parted for air as he rolled you both, holding your body to his with one hand as he pulled you up the bed, resting your head on the pillow as he gently laid you down. Even though you would’ve only fallen a few inches and the bed was soft, he set you down like you were made of glass, looking down at you with love and hearts in his eyes, not breaking eye contact as he gave you a small, warm smile.

His dark hair was mussed up a little from you running your fingers through it, and it looked fantastic on him. His face was flushed and his parted lips were red and a little swollen, and he looked like he’d been crying, or was about to cry, or both.

You pulled him down to you and kissed him again. He set his body against yours, lining himself up with you as you wrapped your legs around him. You were both still fully clothed, but you could feel him, pressed perfectly against you from your collars to his growing erection and your throbbing core.

“I love you,” he groaned against your neck, grinding slowly against you. “I’ve loved you for so long, I wanted to die when I thought something happened to you and I never told you. I promise I’m going to tell you now, every single day, every time I see you, every time we make love, every second of every day–” He cut himself off by kissing your neck desperately, moving down toward your breast.

“I love you, my angel. You’re the most beautiful thing in the world, I love you so much,” he said, kissing along your skin frantically by the collar of your ugly flight jumpsuit. “You’re my best friend, and I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said, kissing up the center of your chest toward your clavicle. His messy hair tickled your chin, and you rested one of your hands on the back of his head as he worked, gently stroking his hair.

“I love you too,” you managed to say, though words weren’t really coming to you right now, with all Namjoon was doing to you.

Namjoon got up then, and you watched for a moment as he started quickly stripping off his clothes. You sat up too, pulling off your jumpsuit, and Namjoon got all but his boxers off before your arms were even out. He helped you, running his hands along your skin as you peeled off the jumpsuit, leaving you in just the undershirt and shorts you’d had on underneath.

There was a moment where the two of you just sat there looking at each other. You’d both seen each other in this context — nearly naked — before, from sleeping in the same room to swimming to other random things you’d done together over the years, but this was the first time it was ever like this.

Namjoon raised his hands slowly, his fingers just barely skimming against your hips. His eyes were on your breasts, his mouth nearly watering, and you smiled at that. He looked up at you, his eyes innocent and showing every emotion he had within him; he was asking for permission.

You brought your hand up to his face and kissed him slowly, savoring every movement of his lips, the feel of his tongue, the taste of him. His hands went to your thighs and helped you wrap your legs around him, and then you were laying down again, Namjoon on top of you.

He kissed down your chest, this time simultaneously running one of his hands up your stomach under your thin undershirt. He cupped your breast with that hand, feeling you fully, while his mouth kissed back up to your neck. He got your undershirt off without either of you having to get up, though he did have to lean back a little to give you room to wiggle around, and then he unhooked your bra and threw that and your undershirt somewhere behind him.

Namjoon swirled his tongue around one of your nipples, gently squeezing your other breast with his hand, your peaked nipple hard against his palm. He rolled one nipple between his thumb and forefinger slowly while sucking the other, just barely using teeth and making you gasp, and then he switched sides, doing the same thing again.

“That feels so good, Joonie,” you sighed, closing your eyes and smiling to yourself. You stroked his hair while he worked, closing your eyes and tilting your head back. Every moment or so, you’d let out a moan for him, tightening your fingers in his hair whenever he did something that made you see stars, and he’d hum back to you, responding without taking his mouth off you.

Namjoon moved down your abdomen, kissing every rib, every freckle, every last inch of your skin. He dipped his tongue into your belly button and you gasped and giggled, feeling his grin against your skin as he kissed down your navel, his tongue tracing along the edge of the little shorts you still had on.

You reached down and tried to pull off your shorts, but Namjoon’s hands replaced your own, slowly pulling just your shorts off and leaving your panties. He tossed your shorts the same direction he’d tossed your bra, and then looked down at you, sitting back on his legs. Your legs were spread wide, your soaked panties the only thing covering you, your eyes desperate for him, your breasts rising and falling as your breath quickened in anticipation and need for him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his expression almost dazed in love and adoration. He looked like he didn’t know where to look, his eyes scanning your face, your breasts, your spread thighs, the spot on your panties where you were already wet and soaking for him. You bit your lip and whimpered, and he closed his eyes, sighing and smiling to himself, like he couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

Namjoon bent over and kissed your ankle, slowly, chastely. He moved to the other side and repeated that, kissing your anklebone. He moved up your calf, staying on that side, kissing you over and over and moving so slowly you started to whine for him, begging him to go faster and reaching down for him. He reached up and took one of your hands, holding it and lacing your fingers together as he continued what he was doing, not at all speeding up.

He kissed your knee, the side of it, the front of it, and tilting your leg gently to kiss the back of it. He moved up, kissing your inner thigh while still holding your hand. You spread your legs further for him, whimpering and squeezing his hand as he got closer and closer to your center.

Namjoon pulled back then, a smug smile on his face as he started moving down to kiss his way up your other leg, starting again at your ankle. You let out a whiney moan, pulling his hand and looking down at him, pleading.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’m sorry,” he said gently, moving back to where you wanted him most.

He kissed you right over your panties, a deep, open-mouthed kiss that made you cry out. You could feel him breathing hard through his nose, smelling and inhaling you as he moved his mouth against you, letting go of your hand so he could hold your thighs with both his large, perfect hands.

He licked and sucked the fabric of your panties, tasting where you were soaked for him. It was the most amazing thing you’d ever felt, and you spread your legs even further for him, your hands holding onto the sheets of the bed, your knuckles turning white.

You gasped when you felt teeth, and then Namjoon was slowly pulling your panties down your legs with his mouth, looking up at you with playful eyes and a smirk. You wanted to roll your eyes at him, but instead just closed your legs enough for him to get your panties off of you, letting him have his fun. He let out a small growl at you, your panties still in his mouth, and you giggled, a soft noise that made his eyes light up.

Before you could think or do anything, Namjoon was back between your legs, spreading you open with his fingers and licking a slow, thick line up your folds to your clit.

You cried out, your head falling back and eyes squeezing closed. Namjoon repeated the motion, even slower this time, moaning a little too as he let the tip of his tongue enter you for just a moment. You whined, pulling his hair hard and trying to spread your legs even further, and Namjoon stopped, humming softly as he turned his head and kissed your thigh.

“I love you so fucking much,” Namjoon murmured against your skin, kissing you there again. “Your pussy’s so pretty, my love. So soft and wet for me.”

“Joonie,” you sighed, stroking his hair. You could feel his smile against your thigh, and it made you smile, too. You felt warm, like you were glowing from his love.

Namjoon turned his head back and dipped his tongue into you again, this time further, like he was trying to see how far he could go. His lips sucked at your entrance as his tongue flicked in and out, not fast enough to get you off, but not slow, either. He moved his tongue like he was trying to drink you, lapping you up, bringing your wetness into his mouth and down his throat.

You moaned loudly for him, pulling his face harder against you by his hair, and he reached up and grabbed one of your hands, lacing his fingers with yours over one of your thighs.

He moved his mouth up to your clit, drawing random shapes over it with the tip of his tongue lazily while he curled two fingers into you. He moved clumsily, like he wasn’t exactly sure of what he was doing but just wanted to make you feel good, and what he was doing was definitely working. What he lacked in experience he more than made up for in eagerness and love, and when he moaned around your clit, and you nearly screamed.

“Jesus Christ, Joon, fuck. God, your mouth is… mmm, god, you’re so fucking good, that feels so good, Joonie, Joonie–” You cut yourself off with a long, agonized cry as Namjoon sucked your clit into his mouth hard, swirling his tongue around it as he suctioned his mouth and moved his fingers inside you faster. You repeated a chorus of nothing but his name between breathy moans as you held onto his hair with your free hand, your other hand squeezing his.

You gasped when you came, your whole body tensing as you saw stars and every nerve in your body exploded in pleasure. Your mouth hung open in a silent scream as you failed to breathe, your lungs tightening and your orgasm only building and building as Namjoon kept moving his tongue and fingers. You felt like you were floating in space, millions of stars around you all bursting at once, the entire universe stopping for you and Namjoon and the love you felt for each other.

After a moment, you took in a shaky breath, trying to recover while your mind was still mush. Namjoon was still moving his mouth on you, now licking up your wetness at your entrance and moaning to himself at the taste. If he kept that up, you were going to come again, and soon.

You moaned, pulling on his hair enough for him to look up at you, not stopping what his mouth was doing. You pleaded with your eyes, whimpering and pulling his hair again, and he put his lips to your entrance one last time, this time spreading his lips as wide as possible and sucking as he slowly closed his mouth. You gasped and almost screamed at the sensation of him actually drinking you, desperate to taste you.

Your second orgasm was smaller, making you shudder and gasp for just a moment before steadily breathing deeply as you tried to recover again. You looked down at him, barely able to lift your head; Namjoon was kissing your thigh, your hips, pressing gentle kisses to your skin as he slowly worked his way up your stomach. You could see how hard he was, his precum glistening on the head of his cock as it bounced against his stomach with his movements.

You started to reach down to grasp him, but he gently stopped you, bringing your hand back up by your head and lacing his fingers with yours. He kissed your collarbone, leaving a trail of wet kiss spots all over your body, your own wetness in the shape of his lips and chin.

“Please, Joonie,” you hummed, and he came back to you, kissing your lips slowly and letting you taste yourself on him. You wrapped your legs around him tightly as he lined himself up with your entrance, moaning when you felt the head of his cock against your folds, gasping when he started slowly sliding into you, every amazing inch of him filling and stretching you.

Namjoon buried his face in your neck, the length of his nose pressed against the curve of your jaw. He turned his head enough to kiss your neck, feeling your rapid, heavy pulse with his lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against your neck, not opening his eyes. “So fucking tight and wet for me, my angel, my princess, my heart, my love. I love you so fucking much.” He kissed your neck again gently before pushing all the way into you and bottoming out, the stretch so wonderfully tight and full. You cried out, spreading your legs further and higher for him, grabbing at his shoulders, scraping your fingernails down his back as he filled you up so completely.

Namjoon pulled out slowly and then pushed in again, rocking into you. You were desperate, nearly delirious and just about ready to cry if he didn’t start moving faster. He seemed to just barely be holding on by a thread, his own orgasm already one sudden movement away from overwhelming him.

“God, Jesus Christ, Joon, fuck,” you cried, close to actually in tears now. You started to say something else but it turned into a small whimper as he thrust into you again, hard.

“I love you,” he groaned against your neck, “I love you so much, Y/N…” Your name turned into a long moan as he began his slow, torturous pace, both of you so close to the edge already. You didn’t know how he was possibly going so slow still, other than the fact he must want to torture you.

“Go faster, please,” you cried out, holding onto his shoulders as tight as you could and digging in your fingernails. “I need you so bad, Joonie. God, fuck me, please…”

“I love you, angel,” he said, kissing your shoulder. He picked up the pace a little, but it wasn’t enough. “I love you, baby, I love you so much. I love you, I love you–”

“Go fucking faster, now, please…” you sobbed, pulling his hair, making him hiss in pain, but he listened, reaching down and holding your hip with one hand as he started pounding into you, the force of it making the bed creak and your breasts bounce with each quick, powerful thrust. You were long past gone, moaning loudly with each exhale, and Namjoon groaned and grunted, his head against your shoulder as the two of you moved together, you rolling your hips up to meet him thrust for thrust.

Namjoon broke first. His orgasm hit him suddenly and he tried to keep moving, his thrusts sloppy, erratic, and uneven as he spilled into you, his mouth hanging open and eyes squeezed shut. He let out a long groan until he ran out of air, and then he didn’t inhale again until he finished, suddenly and harshly gasping in again, his whole body shaking in your arms.

He reached down and rubbed your clit furiously, and you only lasted a few seconds before you gasped too, clenching around his still half-hard erection inside you, which only made him groan in overstimulation as you squeezed and spasmed around him, gasping nothing but his name and feeling nothing but him, your love, your Namjoon.

Namjoon somehow managed to keep himself from collapsing on top of you. He moved to the side enough to fall beside you, one of his legs still between your thighs as he laid on his stomach, slightly turned in toward you. His hand moved up to cup and stroke your cheek as he lazily kissed your shoulder.

“I love you too, Joonie,” you said between shaky breaths, your vision almost blurry from lust and exhaustion and a dumb happy smile on your face. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

X.

You laid there for a little while together before you eventually went another round, this time as slow as Namjoon had wanted to go the first time.

When you came this time, your orgasm had to have lasted at least five full minutes (or at least, it felt like that) as Namjoon kept moving in and out of you, keeping up his steady, slow, overwhelming movements that left you delirious with his cock inside you, his thumb on your clit, and his lips on yours, breathing in every moan of his name.

After you both laid there a while again, lazy in post coital haze, you eventually got up and went to your room’s personal little bathroom, where you turned on the tiny shower and let it warm up. You stood there feeling the water’s temperature with your hand while Namjoon stood behind you, arms wrapped around you and lips on your neck. It was like he couldn’t go more than a few minutes without saying “I love you,” not that you were complaining.

You showered together, Namjoon standing behind you the whole time and washing your body for you. He massaged your breasts, hands sudsy as the warm water fell down over them as he kissed your neck, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear. One of his hands fell down to your folds, stroking you slowly as his other hand moved to your breast, arm wrapping around you so that his forearm could also press against your nipple, stimulating and touching both of your breasts at once.

Namjoon slid two fingers into you as he kissed your temple. You could feel him hard against your ass, and that feeling made your eyes flutter.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamt of touching you, pleasing you, making love to you,” he murmured into your hair. You responded with an agonized moan, reaching back and holding onto his shoulder for support. “I’ve wanted you like this since we first met. I dreamed about eating your perfect little pussy so many times, doing exactly this to you, feeling you squeeze my cock like you did earlier when you came so prettily. You’re better than anything I ever could’ve imagined though, baby. Your pussy tastes like heaven and feels even better. You’re so fucking perfect, princess, I love you so much, more than my heart can bare.”

You felt like he had to be bending you over slightly, his firm chest against your back. You swore you could actually feel his cock throbbing.

“I need you,” you moaned, your eyes closed as you felt nothing but his hands.

“I’m here,” he said, kissing your cheek. “I’m here, angel. I love you.”

“Need you inside me,” you said, spreading your legs to stand with your feet braced wider apart. “I love you, too, Joonie. Please…”

Namjoon didn’t need to be told twice. Hooking his arm around your waist for support, he bent you both over a little more, sliding into you from behind in one smooth motion. You cried out in ecstasy, he felt so good and big and yours.

It was fast and sloppy; he hugged you against him with both arms while you braced yourself on the tile wall in front of you. The sound of skin smacking against wet skin, his hips hitting your ass coupled with both your quiet moans and the wet squelching of him moving hard and fast inside you, echoing off the tile walls with the sound of the running water. He filled you so perfectly, stretched you out so far, you felt like he was fucking up into your guts, so hard and deep and good.

You came at the same time, Namjoon groaning and squeezing you harder as your eyes rolled back in your head.

When you’d both recovered some, you stood there under the water, still in the same position. You both knew base rules about wasting water, so you needed to wrap this up, but neither of you wanted to move.

You eventually got out and dried off, both of you getting ready for bed with the toiletries provided by the base. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you the whole time though, so the whole process probably took three times longer than it should’ve.

When you both finished, he pulled you to him, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he kissed you, his hands spreading out on your bare back. Namjoon’s tongue slowly swirled with yours as he let out a small, contented hum, and he wrapped your legs up around his body, supporting you with one hand on your back and the other on your thigh.

Namjoon walked to your bed, carrying you, and laid down with you on top of him. You didn’t end up going another round, but you kissed for a while until eventually you started to move off of him to sleep beside him. Namjoon, though, held you there on top of him, keeping you there.

He murmured a soft little “please,” stroking your back gently, begging you to stay where you were on top of him. You laid back down and kissed right over his heart, before turning your head and resting your cheek on his chest, nuzzling in against him to sleep as he pulled the sheets up around you both.

You were safe in his arms. The world around you didn’t matter; not the people down the hall, not anything outside the base, none of it. The whole universe was just you and Namjoon in this bed, and nothing else existed. He was yours, and you were his.

[orestes-hungry-and-pylades-sober]

Les Miserables Stonewall AU

Just hear me out for a moment: Les Mis AU taking place in 1969 Manhattan. June, if we want to be specific. Why June? Stonewall.

So my school does these trips every few years that are always a big deal. A really big deal. As in, a month in the Galapagos Islands. It got canceled cause of covid but still, y'all get my point, right?

I also came across these two amazing drawings the other day. I don't know either of the artists so if you do, please let me know so that I can credit them. Not my art

The art and the trip gave me the idea. Because look, pretty much the entire fandom ships e/R. And then there's Courf and Ferre, and everyone else. I'll list them all later.

So we end up with les amis in Manhattan during the Stonewall riots and protests. Obviously, they're going to get themselves caught up in it, right?

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There are two ways I might want to go with this. They're both good and they could both work out well but I'm not sure which one I'd rather use.

    1) they're just all students at the same university who happen to be going on the trip together. Obviously, some of them would already know each other (like R has been completely in love with Enj for years) but realistically, you don't know everyone who goes to your school

    2) all of them are part of the drama/theatre club. This one might work out in the sense that they're all going to Broadway to watch a performance or perform themselves (Phantom maybe?), and that the theatre club has become an accidental hidden magnet for closed queers. Tbh that's what it's like at my school and why I'm in drama.

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And here are basically all of the character roles.

Enjolras - Social equality/civics minor. He hasn't yet decided if he wants to pursue a higher degree in the same field or try something else. Often in detention or something because he gets into fights all the time. If he sees a bully picking on a kid, he will not hesitate to kick the bully's ass into next week. He's that one person that you'd go to if you had a problem, kinda like a school vigilante. A girl being harassed? Talk to Enjy and the man will never bother her again. He organizes a bunch of rallies and protests for what he believes in. Should've probably been suspended or expelled a while ago, for all the people he's hurt, but the teachers and school board know why he does it and know that he keeps the other students safe. Still manages to get really good grades, as long as he gets a bit of help from Ferre or Courf (and they're glad to help him study or smth)

Grantaire - slightly sketchy fine arts and music double major. He's a composer and his music is beautiful, and so are his paintings, but while he's amazing in those classes, he's just barely scraping by in the more 'academic' classes he's taking. Everyone knows him as 'the problem kid' but not in the same way as Enjy. R gets into fights and stuff too, but not exactly for good reasons. Has a drinking problem and has turned up to class drunk on a few occasions. Always carries around a sketchbook. He's completely in love with Enjy, and while the two of them aren't exactly friends, Enj likes him a lot more than most of the other students, since he's actually taken the time to get to know Grantaire personally rather than just as 'that one drunk problem kid who's about to flunk out.' Really sarcastic and sassy.

Combeferre - (y'all, I said his name with the E at the end kinda like 'ferreh' for so fucking long before someone decided to say it rhymed with Javert). Philosophy minor, lit major. He's probably on the student representation board. That one kid that manages to be a total nerd who literally corrects the dictionary for fun yet is still one of the coolest kids in the school. Everyone seems to think he's cool and composed and calm, and they're not wrong, but he's mentally screaming the loudest of all of them when it comes to finals or something. He's a bit of a perfectionist and knows it, but he's also used to being able to easily pass his classes. How do I describe this... he's outwardly composed but internally a mess. A lot of kids known as 'the smart one' who are overachievers and have teachers who praise their work, etc, are. Internally screaming 24/7. Believe me, I know what it's like.

Courfeyrac - he's the only mutual friend of everyone in the group. He's a literal ray of sunshine and always will go out of his way to say hello to someone and ask how they're doing that day, and check up on someone who's looking down. He's really good with kids and people in general. Might run a tutoring group or something because I've always thought he'd make a really good teacher. (Just imagine Courf as an elementary school teacher or something. Carrying little kids around on his shoulders, helping them with art projects, and hanging them up all over the classroom. He'd be kind and patient and funny and everyone would love him. Just- elementary teacher Courf). Best friends with Combeferre. Probably Jvj's aide or TA or something.

Marius - I think we all know him. He just Pontmercys his way through university and has a massive crush on this one girl who sits across the aisle from him in one of his classes. She's pretty and brave and smart and outspoken, and he admires her. Eponine, his good friend, sees this crush and convinces him to talk to her. He has a brilliant idea to ask her for help with homework and just botches up the entire thing and kinda embarrasses himself, (cue Eponine facepalming in the background) but she thinks it's sweet, and they end up becoming friends.

Eponine - honestly I don't know what I want to do with her. I know she's another student on the trip, but I only have the vaguest ideas of how she fits into the group, and even that is more of a vibe, rather than something I can put down in words. Used to have a sister that her parents often abused and used. Ponine did her best to shelter Cosette from their parents, but she didn't always succeed. However, she was able to get help and get her sister taken away. Their parents turned on Ponine instead. Her little brother ended up running away, but she wasn't able to. Eventually, she stops going home at night, sleeping at school instead. Professor Valjean found her outside his classroom one time when he finally left at like 2 in the morning after being stuck there grading papers. He ended up taking her home with him.

Cosette - Eponine's "sister". I will insist on these two getting along and being best friends, regardless of how you want to interpret their canon relationship. Imma just call them sisters, since they were raised that way. Eventually, she's taken away from the abusive household she lived in as a child. Soon she was sent to be fostered with a man who later became a university professor. Much to her surprise, she was reunited with her sister in a class and found out what had happened to Eponine in her absence. She quietly brought the issue up to her adopted father.

Valjean - history prof, and the supervising teacher for the trip. I call him Jvj and pronounce it sort of like 'Jivvy' and yes I know that's not even how it would be said and that it's weird af but I will live and die by that nickname. He's that one professor that everyone loves. While he never brings it up, his house is a second home to Eponine and Gavroche, ever since he found Ponine sleeping on a bench outside his classroom (Cosette may or may not have set this up so that he would find her), and now he has three children instead of just Cosette. By the end of the trip, he ends up with like 20 students who all treat him like he's their father.

Javert - ex-military school dean. He's coming on the trip as well because the school's two biggest problem students - Enj and R - are going on the trip and he doesn't trust Jvj to keep them in line. Everyone knows there's some sort of drama between him and one of the history professors, but no one can figure out the story between the two of them.

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Oh well look at me, totally ignoring the thing I said about them all not knowing each other. Welp. And yeah, I know I'm not being the most brick-accurate when it comes to their personalities or whatever, but I'm trying to keep the main feel of each of them while modifying it in a way that works for what I'm trying to write. And look if y'all want to make suggestions about roles for the other amis please go ahead cause I only really have theories for a few of them.

So anyway on to the actual plot.

They all settle in and the next day, they're kinda just let loose in the city to explore. Look we all know that Grantaire is probably going to try to find a bar or a pub or something. The thing is... he ends up at the Stonewall Inn. For y'all that don't know, it was a bar that mainly catered to members of the LGBT+ community. For the first time, he's kinda like 'there are... other people like me? I'm not some sort of a freak for being a man who's in love with another man?' and all that. Through some turn of events, Enj and R (maybe even a group of them?) end up there the next night. I remember reading this thing about since how common police raids and in order to avoid undercover police (*glares at Jav*) there were all sorts of safety measures in place and to be allowed in, they had to 'look gay' and you can bet R takes full advantage of the fact that he's there with Enj to get in.

The police conduct a surprise raid on the bar, and it explodes from just a regular thing into a massive deal, with a massive crowd of spectators. It quickly becomes more and more heated and eventually violent. They fight back against the police because you know neither of them would ever go quietly. Enj and R end up getting arrested together before everything goes insanely out of control, and if anyone else from their group was there, they manage to get away. In prison, Enjy talks to R about the whole deal. Through that conversation, they discuss the LGBT+ movement (though I can't remember if it was called that at the time) and Enjy eventually admits he's not straight, and one of the reasons he ended up becoming the School Vigilante is because he used to be tormented for it, and taught himself how to fight back. He refuses to let anyone else go through the same suffering for it. His protection soon extended to anyone being bullied and picked on, not just fellow queer people. The two of them decide that something has to be done, and this is the start of something massive. Enj tells R that he'll be going back whenever they get released, and Grantaire agrees to go with him.

Jav and Jvj come and negotiate for the release of the two of them since they're visiting French students and all that. When they get back to the place they're staying, I imagine they get a massive yelling-at from Ferre and Courf and Ponine. None of them know the full story, only that the two of them were caught in a bar and got arrested. I'm not sure how old all of them are in this... they're all over 18 in the novel (if I've done my math right) so they weren't arrested for being underage, so there are all sorts of rumors flying around about the two of them.

The next day, someone, I'm not sure who, overhears the two of them discussing what happened the night before, though they've both agreed not to mention anything personal about each other, in case that exact situation of being overheard occurs. However, the person who listens in on them goes to the rest of the group and talks about the protests, and eventually come to the decision that yes, what's happening is a massive deal, and they kinda all want to be part of it? Even if not all of them are part of the community, like Marius and Cosette, they're all very supportive allies and agree to join in these protests. Enj and R try to sneak out when they're confronted with the rest of the students. The two of them think the others are going to try to stop them until Courf steps up and says "like hell we're letting you do this alone,"

They all meet up before the Stonewall, joining a crowd of over a thousand people, surging against the police cordons. The bar itself has smashed windows and looks like someone tried to burn it, but it's still defiantly staying open. R gets his hands on a bunch of rainbow spray paint and joins in a group grafitting walls and buildings. Is grafitting even a word? Grafitti-ing? I dunno. But I had to look up when spray paint was invented and began being used and now I can tell you all about the history of aerosol. Being a writer, right?

They stick around for the rest of the week, joining in various rallies and protests at night, participating in the actual point of their trip during the day. Jav and Jvj obviously know what their students are doing, but they’ve both decided to not mention it at all.

One morning after the group has been out all night, they all escape the chaos and catch rides to Central Park? Maybe? I’ll have to see if that’s even possible. More research, yay!

Anyway, probably Central Park. I don’t really care how improbable it is rn. And we just get a series of shots of all the couples together who’ve found each other.

Enjolras and Grantaire, Courfeyrac and Combeferre, Joly and Bossuet, Bahorel and Feully, Maruis and Cosette. I’m going for lesbian or ace Eponine. Maybe both? If anyone else has suggestions, please lemme know.

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The only problem is, will I ever get around to actually writing this? No, probably not.

Sorry for the long post! Look I get that people feel weird leaving long replies or whatever but I promise you it's totally okay. More responses = me being more likely to actually write this, please and thank you! I'll probably come back to this someday and see if I can update it and add even more ideas and stuff to it, because I feel like I could turn this into a pretty cool fic, if anyone's even interested in it. Thank you so much, everyone!

[yoursinfulurges]

Neo Host Club

Part 1.

Description:

Sm academy is a school for the riches kids in the country. If you have way too much time in your hands, have the school' host club take care of it for you. The host club is compiled of 21 members, im sure one of them will fit your preference. Indulge in fine dining as handsome rich men accompany you, showering you with love and affection. The host club is here to fulfill all of your fantasies of having a handsome rich man as your boyfriend. We encourage you to join us. Neo Host Club is your perfect vacation, we are here to aid you from all your stress.

Lies. All lies. At first everything was perfect, no bumps or kinks in the road. Being with Jaehyun was like a dream come true. But, like all dreams, at some point you have to wake up. Everything could've gone much more smoother if you would've never gotten involved with him in the first place. You went from being a one-time customer, to his personal call girl. You loved him with all your heart, but he loved himself way more. He took it upon himself to choose his pride over you. The host club wasn't as perfect as it seemed. It was not a picture perfect place where nothing could go wrong, It was just a utopian world made up by troubled kids, who hoped to forget their miserable lives outside of school. You know that now... He could've chosen love over tragedy, but his pride prevented him from doing so. He had a reputation as the host clubs most charming member to up hold, and he certain couldn't risk it for some girl he sleeps around with. He chose his pride, not you, thus shattering your relationship... or, whatever it was that you two had....

You were left with a shattered heart, he left you to pick up the pieces all on your own. It was not love, but instead a tragedy.

Warning: multiple smut scenes, bisexuality, grammar errors, implication of Asian reader, degrading terms, and over all a whole shit show

Word Count: about 5.k

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You gazed out the window of your limousine and sighed. Your face contorting into an expression that displayed 100% discomfort; you looked as if you were about to throw up any given minute, soiling the red velvet rug and your brand new uniform. The tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach seemed to be like a never ending stream. An endless flow of nervousness and anxious thoughts, feeding your anxiety like a wild fire, stirring up a cyclone of possible panic attacks or mental break downs. It felt as though you were on the verge of crying and shitting your pants.

Today, you'd be starting a new chapter in your life. You were finally attending the infamous SM academy, a school known for its excellent education system and outstanding clubs. You've heard many rumors about SM, but the most repeated are about a particular club called neo host club. It's apparently compiled by 18 charming male students, proudly running the club in it's second year at SM academy. The club was said to be extremely gifted, talents ranging from singing, dancing, rapping, and even magic acts.

You were sure they were nice and all, but you weren't buying it. A group of extremely good looking men with impeccable manners. It was almost too good to be true. What is this?, a sappy fanfiction written by a fourteen year old high school student that has nothing better to do? Yes. From what you've heard, they seemed like robotic brain washed idiots, fooled into acting like manga characters. It was best to not interact with them, given your long track record of obsessing over anime characters. You came to this school to learn, not to get involved with boys. No love affairs or scandalous awkward run in's. You were here to further your work ethics and that's all, there was nothing in your itinerary about getting involved with boys. Besides, something about them seemed fishy...

-

You gazed at your parents one last time before finally stepping out of the car. It was evident from your expression that you did not want to be here. You've protested a million times and made it completely obvious to your parents that you didn't want to attend SM. Originally, you wanted to go to JYP Arts, a school who focuses more on creative liberty rather than academics. It's most commonly known as a school who values creativity more than anything else, earning it a bad reputation from parents such as yours. You wanted to attend JYP rather than SM due to your passion for art, but your parents disapproved and left you with no other option but to attend SM.

They insisted that art wouldn't get you any where, and that it was more of a side hobby rather than a job you can actually make money off of. You were crushed, but weren't surprised. Your parents had always raised you to value money over happiness. Ever since you were little, you were tought that living in luxury and loneliness was better than living poor and surrounded by love. The only time you actually made your parents proud was when you won a hefty prize on some petty competition; not when you won a trophy for your outstanding literature work. Not when you donated half a million dollars to charity, in fact, they seemed bitter about it, rather than proud.

To them, your trophy room filled with over 200 golden medals and trophies was nothing compared to the dollar signs you'd rake in. As a child, you've always joked that your parents were like the cookie monster, but with money. Having always seen them in the study, counting huge wads of 100 dollar bills, usually accompanied by other stacks of fresh paper; Naturally, you saw them as a psychopath with an unhealthy obsession over money, greedy and hungry (but without the blue fur and garbage can of course.) None the less, they still treated you with love,... In their eyes.... You were sure that in their own twisted way, they loved you with all their hearts. They just didn't show it much, or at all....

Life with them as parents was....rough... You would've been fine if you had other siblings to socialize with, but your parents thought of children as a menus and that you were far than enough for them. You figured out pretty quickly that you were only born because they needed a heir to the family business. You weren't aloud to talk nor even look at the children that would play outside the gates of your mansion. They iced you out from everything outside the walls of your house. Forcing you to make friends with the statues and paintings that littered your home. It was indeed sad, sad enough for the staff to take pity on you and go well out of their way to interact with you.

Thankfully, making some great friends in the confinement of your own home. Over time, you weren't so lonely anymore. There was Mrs. Kim, your librarian and teacher who home schooled you up until this point. Mr. Kim, the gardener. Mr. Lee, the chef and baker. Emily, one of the maids around the same age as you. Sehun, the son of your head maid. And lastly, Mrs. Oh, your head maid and Sehun's mother. They weren't exactly the normal group of friends people your age would have but they were great. So much fond memories were made with them, they raised you more than your parents ever did.

-

Morning classes flew by quicker than you expected, and before you knew it it was time for lunch. Your morning mainly consisted of you arriving to classes late due to your unreliable locker not wanting to cooperate, and boring lectures given in both 2 classes. You still couldn't shake off Ms. Lee's lecture about sexual intercourse, she had practically begged and yelled at your table to not have sex. Yes, specifically your table, earning lots of snickers from the other students and shy glance from you while your seat partner tried not to piss her pants. You did not expect a 40 year old lady in a purple get up to yell at you about sex on your first day of school. You expected your day to go much more normally than this, hopefully your evening will go on much more smoother. But some good did come out from Ms. Lee's excessive screaming.

While your loony teacher was yelling at another group about something you couldn't quite understand, you had managed to make a friend somehow. Her name was yeri, at first you'd expected her to one of the more quiet students, but boy were you wrong. The moment Ms. Lee stomped over to your table yeri's lips were practically bleeding, due to her bitting down on it way too hard to prevent herself from laughing. You liked her a lot, having shared some common interests and surprisingly similar personalities.

She even invited you to sit with her and her friends at lunch. You agreed of course, not wanting to look like a fool by sitting all by yourself. You would be vulnerable to judgmental stares and occasional murmurs. After class you stuck by yeri like gum to a shoe. She had informed you that it was usually her job to witch hunt her friends down. Understandable, given that the school was at least the size of fifteen malls. One could easily get lost. This 'witch hunt' however, wasn't as complex as you'd expect it to be. You had managed to find all four of them in under five minutes. Though it was painstaking,  mentally wise. Yeri said 'seek for those that look ill minded'. It had taken you a while to figure out what the hell that meant, as you did not speak her witch lingo. But after a few seconds you had managed to translate it as 'look for the idiots'. You left it to her to find them though, as you weren't the judgmental type. And sure enough she did.

They were all huddled around a girl; and from what you can see, she seemed to be distressed in a way. Vulgar profanities spill from her lips as she aggressively throws books into her locker. They were all pretty, but looked very intimidating. From what information you can gather with your eyes, they definitely weren't the most well-behaved students here. One opted for a leather jacket instead of the required school blazer. Some wore fish nets instead of stockings. Two wore plaid skirts. And almost all had hoop earrings on, which you know for a fact is not allowed. They all sported bright, eye catching makeup; with hair ranging from violet high lights to straight up platinum blonde. The contrast between yeri and them was unimaginable, but fitting. The only remotely juvenile thing about her is her ash grey high lights. Other than that, she seemed like your typical well-mannered girl.

"Oof, whose the babe." A very pretty girl with red lipstick and perfectly lined brows said whilst pointing at you with her lollipop. You looked her up and down and immediately got chills. She wore black latex thigh high heels; a plaid miniskirt with a leather belt, accompanied with chains; and an off white blouse, nearing grey in the color spectrum; with a sleek black leather jacket, that tied the look all together.

"This is y/n. She's new. Y/n, seulgi." Said yeri. Her hand landing at the dip of your back, pushing you forward gently but with the foundation of force. The grip  you had on your books tightens, pulling your notebook closer to your chest. You weren't necessarily scared, just weary.

"Ou, fresh meat." This,... Seulgi uttered.

"Careful she bites. Hi, I'm wendy." Stated the girl that was distraught earlier, as she moved her locker door a bit to take a peek at seulgi. Observing her, you smiled back.

She wore her hair in space buns with red and purple highlights; complementing their whole 'grunge chic' look. Her outfit was all mixed and match, from a yellow plaid mini skirt and red tank top, to a lilac and pink wind breaker. Chaotic, but stylish. Her gaze shifted from seulg to you, with a pleasant smile on her lips. To which you return, as you didn't wanna be caught observing her... She then aggressively shuts her locker door before turning your way.

"Cafeteria?" She questioned and you all nodded. You weren't one to oppose a grumbling stomach after all, so you complied.

-

Once seated in the cafeteria, you took a minute to take it all in. The place looked like the queen's ball room with the fancy domed roof and pillars, not to mention the giant chandelier that hung in the middle of the room. It was quite spacious, fit for the only finest. You couldn't expect any less from Korea's top school.

"Look whose here." The girl whom you've come to know as irene spoke, nudging her head towards the brown double door entrance. Your gaze following, and landing at a group of boys. All handsome and well dressed... I guess you were staring at them way too intensely, since one of the girls spoke up.

"Careful, you don't wanna get close to them." Wendy whispers in your ear.

"Why not?" You ask, turning her way.

Seulgi scoffs. "They're a bunch of a-holes but everyone here's too dumb and blinded by their looks to figure it out." She states while probing her miniscule fork in the air in their general direction.

"Seems like you have something against them." A sly tone laced your tongue as you spoke. You didn't know where this new found comfort came from since you were antisocial as fuck. But it was quite easy to adjust to them. They weren't as bad as you thought. They were actually very nice and well-mannered. They just have trouble obeying rules... You felt comfortable with them, almost like you've known them your entire life.

"Ya!? Well, I do!"

"Last summer seulgi got into some beef with taeyong, the guy with red hair and the leader of 'nct' as they call themselves. Anyways, They dated but seulgi came out as les and he got really salty about it and released nude pictures of her and her titties." Joy laughed while seulgi scoffed once more.

"They were nice though..." Wendy informed with a mischievous laugh.

"I know! If anything it just made the girls fond over me more. I mean get a load of these double D's." You spat out your tea as she pushed her breast together and leaned forward to attack you with them. Everyone bursts into a giggling fit as you coughed vigorously.

"But still, it pissed me off!" With her eyebrows furrowed she threw the tiny fork in her hand at her empty tray. The laughter didn't seem to die down and you thanked joy for the napkin she handed you to recollect yourself. You thought to yourself, maybe this wasn't so bad.

Not much had happened since lunch. Third period wasn't that bad since irene and joy accompanied you in math. Not to mention that it was practically a free period due to a technical difficulties. Last period was with seulgi and wendy. The three of you spent majority of language arts goofing off as the teacher read segments from Romeo and Juliet. Wendy made exaggerated expressions as the infamous "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore arth thou Romeo" line was read off... resulting in her being sent to the principal's Office...

-

And now you were back at your miserable humble abode, wilting away like a plant without water. It was only then when your macbook started vibrating with notifications, that you decided to take a break from painting.

Instagram: Yeri_is.petrified started following you...

Instagram: TheWendyBird started following you...

Instagram: Joy¡!_xoxo started following you...

Instagram: Irene♡_ started following you...

Instagram: Seulgi_ started following you...

Incoming call from: Yeri_is.petrified +4 others.

[Decline]  [Accept]

You furrowed your brows in confusion, how did the manage to find your account so easily. You sighed unknowingly as you clicked the accept button.

AznBabe_ has accepted call...

"Hey bitch." Yelled seulgi. You looked at her side of the screen. Instantly you noticed her odd preference in decorations as her room looked like a night club. There were mixtures of reds, purples, and blue illuminating lights. You presumed that were caused by various neon signs of some form. Her roomed looked like a strippers den. Especially with the red and black silk sheets she had.

"Asian babe, really?" Asked Irene. Her room was definitely more mellow. It fits her whole "your mom wished she gave birth to me" vibe. Very prim and proper, her color palette from what you can see is mainly black and white, with a plant here and there.

"Ya, lol..." you deadpanned. "How did you guys even find my IG?"

"It took a lot of searchin. By the way, love the whole edgy-urban- im-a-badass-dont-mess-with-me thing you have going on in your feed." You laughed as wendy emphasized her words, using hand gestures to prove her point.

"Ya, totally different from the whole good girl thing you have going on. It's hot. I like it." Added joy. Understandable since to took pride in reinventing yourself just for the internet. In the eyes of your followers you were a rebellious lil demon' that smoked and road motorcycles. But in actuality you were a goody-two-shoes that just so happens to vape and have access to thousands and thousands of urban clothing. You did ride a bike though but you preferred the rose gold custom Lamborghini you got for your birthday last year.

Truth be told, it was just an act. You weren't entirely sure what prompted you to create this edgy persona of yourself. I guess it was just to distract yourself from the oh' so pitiful life you lived now. A double life if you will...

"You should dress like this tomorrow. You'll fit right in." Said yeri as she held up her left hand in the form of a 6 sign.

"Why'd you losers called anyways?" It's funny how comfortable you've gotten with these girls that you've barely known twelve hours ago. You felt like you've been apart of their friend group since the beginning even though you've just met them today.

They all shrugged before going back to the task at hand. Irene was probably finishing up next weeks homework. While Yeri and Joy were mindlessly scrolling through their feed. Wendy has her camera off but by the sound of things she was probably cooking. Seulgi, well she was just laying in bed smoking. As for you, you were just tidying your work station.

"Are you guys planning to go to yukhei' party tomorrow? I heard he's going to have a cheese fountain." Wendy announced as she turned her camera on, giving you full view of the mess she made. Stains ranging from red to greenish yellow adorned her white shirt. And the gold spatula she was holding had burnt pieces on it.

"The boy loves his cheese." Laughed seulgi as she talks another drag from her blunt.

"Wait a minute, isn't he that guy from the club you said to stay away from?" You questioned, looking up from what you were doing to give them a look of confusion.

"He throws really good parties." Irene shrugged, not bothering to look up from her notebook.

Wong Lucas was Indeed a questionable man, but there was no doubt that he threw the craziest parties. He was pretty much what you'd expect a nineteen year old rich kid to be, wild and rebellious. It was a known fact that he got his spot at Neo through one of his parties. He was the one that arranged most of the clubs events because he was really good at it. For the most part he has a pretty squeaky clean record. Aside from little rumors here and there.

-

And that's how you found yourself dressing up hot and steamy for a party you didn't even know the location to. You decide to go casual yet still sexy. It didn't take you long to decide on a red latex, skin tight skirt with a Gucci belt, paired with a black lace bracelet styled top, and black velvet thigh highs. As for your hair and makeup you kept it simple, opting to just curl your hair with a subtle black winged liner and a bright red lip, also accompanied by perfectly lined brows and extra gleaming highlight.

Seulgi was already at your house since she insisted on getting dressed there. The party didn't start till nine and it was only seven twenty so you had plenty of time to lounge around. Seulgi went with a dark purple velvet off shoulder flaired dress, with black thigh high heels that laced up at the front. Her hair was styled in a bun with her bangs hanging loose. And her makeup was very minimalistic, similar to yours except she had a nude lipstick on.

"Smile for a picture slut!" She yelled, positioning the camera in front of you both. You did your go-two insta hoe pose; shoulders back, one eyebrow slightly raised, gaze soft yet sassy; lips pressed together but lightly tugged into a small smirk. You figured out that the pose made you look irritated and confused yet still hot. The next picture was just of you and seulgi giving the camera the middle finger with your eyes closed and tongue stuck out.

"You look hot in all of these." Seulgi complimented as she scrolled through the pictures. Deciding the top five that worked well in her favors before posting it on her IG. Not so long later the doorbell rang, indicating that someone was present at the door.

Seulgi_ tagged you in a photo

[Image]

10,000 likes

Born in the pussy, i'll die in a cunt.

579 comments

_JaeD_ +58 others has started following you...

The party hadn't even begun and already the place was packed. Cars ranging from Lambo's, Royce', and Mercedes littered the place. Luckily Irene found a place to park her convertible. You knew that this place was heavily guarded since it was known to be one of the more classier part of Seoul. So when wendy suggested to park in the streets, none of you seemed to worry about any possible theft.

The house was huge, certainly not as large as your house but definitely enough to fit a hundreds of people. From your knowledge of revenue, or just money in general, the house looked to be worth a good nine million, ten at most. It was a modern home so you knew that it had to be well over a million. Since most houses that have that specific structure were more on the heftier side of things. And there were stone statues everywhere. Those aren't cheap to come by.

You all walked up to the security man with a guest list and patiently waited for the group of girls to finish. You knew judging by their clothes that they weren't from the privileged life. The knockoff Gucci was a huge give away. Normally you wouldn't have a problem about these kinds of things, but knowing how upper class parties work, the odds are they were going to get thrown out.

You watch as the girl whined and screamed to be let in, claiming that she'd tell her father about him. You almost took pity on them, enough to say they were with you. You would've if it weren't for half of them giving you the stank eye.

"Step aside. Name?" The man asked you.

"Lee Y/n, of the Lee dynasties." You said confidently, staring back at the girl who had been glaring at you the second you walked up here.

"And you know who we are." Joy piped.

"Hi wonho!" Greeted wendy.

"Right this way girls." The guard known as wonho smiled before opening the door for the six of you.

"We're with them." One girl said.

"No you're not." You laughed at Irene's words, strutting into the home. It reeked of alcohol and drugs. The air was littered with smoke from the smoke machine, and atmosphere gave off a more chill-club kind of vibe from the red and blue lights the laminated that places. The place was jammed pack with people, some you recognize from school.

"Let's go get a drink." Seulgi whispered in your ear. You nod whilst looking around. She mumbled a inaudible 'this way' before pushing your forearm to the direction of the kitchen.

Your jaw drops. There really was a cheese fountain...

The kitchen wasn't as compacted as before, leaving room for you to actually wonder. There were only a few groups of people and from what you can see out the sliding doors, they were all outside by or in the pool.

"Look theres pizza."

"Theres a cheese fountain. A fucking cheese fountain! I thought it was a joke-"

"Ohhh nooo, Yukhei never jokes about cheese..."

-

You watch in amusement as yeri chugs down her twelfth glass of martini blue. (S/o if you get it). At this point in, you've lost count of how many shots you've had and the many types of alcohol you drank. Everything became a drunken blur, gaze hazy, mind fuzzy. The blaring music was coming through filtered, like you were under water. Everything felt like a mirage. Every action your body did, your brain did not comprehend. Thus resulting you on time out, under the watchful gaze of wendy and Irene.

A huff leaves your lips as you slumped and grabbed another slice of pizza off the counter you sat atope of.

"Why can't I just have another one..." a pout forms on your face as you groan in frustration.

"Because y/n you've already had 24 shots of that neon green stuff." Says wendy.

"Hey Yuk, what is that stuff?" Irene grabs a hold of the muscular male that happened to pass by, pointing at the  suspicious looking bowl of glowing green liquid.

"Oh, that?.. ask Sicheng and Nakamoto, they made it. But I think its mountain dew and monster with vodka and sprite, something like that." Lucas says before placing down three boxes of pizza and tacos and leaving. Leaving the two to groan in agony, somebody had to take care of you.

"I'm going to the washroom..." you say, hopping off the granite counter and wobbling off to a random hallway.

"Okay..." mumbled Irene as she takes a sip from her plastic red cup.

Uncertain where your legs were taking you to, you watch as seulgi pushes a girl into an unoccupied room. You were unsure of her name but you've seen her in your fine arts class. She hangs out a lot with those JYP kids.

"Have fun Seul!" You laughed, banging your forearm into the wooden door before drunkenly walking off.

Somehow you had managed to find the washroom. You swiftly made your way in and locked the door behind you. Clearly missing the figure that smoked in the shower. You blink meekly at the sink, forgetting why you went to the washroom in the first place.

You sigh, propping yourself up on the counter. Your body swayong lightly to the current migos song blasting through the speakers outside. You yawn lightly, thanking god that the red and black aesthetic happening outside correspondent in the bathroom as well. The red led light that illuminated the room was certainly much more calmer than the yellowish lights in the kitchen. It made things a lot easier to actually see.

The male watches you with amusement in his eyes. Taking another drag from his blunt, he shifts his weight onto the shower wall.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here?" He asked, nodding is head upward before tilting it to the side and taking another drag of his cigar. His hazel brown eyes staring down at you as he lifts an eyebrow, waiting for a respond.

You hum lightly, swinging your legs absentmindedly. "Just chillin!" He laughs slightly at your answer before making his way to you and leaning against the bathroom counter.

"Then lets chill together. My names Yuta. You?" Evident in his voice that he wanted more than to just relax, but it only goes by unnoticed to you as you happily told him your name.

5 minutes later...

"Oh fuck!! Just l-like that! Shit!!!" You scream loudly as you grip onto Yuta' hair. A smirk forming on his lips as he looks up at you with sly eyes. A milky way of lust and hunger filled his hazel ord. (Pun not intended) Moans fall out of your mouth as Yuta sucked on your clit. Your vision fogs as your intoxicated mind tries to comprehend every wave of pleasure coming your way.

"I-im coming! Fuck!!!" Screaming at the top of your lungs, your breath increases as you struggle to unleash the tightness in your stomach. Your pitch rises ten octaves as you release onto Yuta' mouth. Your mind in a blissful ecstasy as you ride out your high.

"Well, that was fun." He says in a sly tone, lifting his head and licking his lips.

"Visit me if you ever want more..." A chuckle erupts from his mouth as he handed you a pink card with golden accents on all four corners. You watch as he leaves before reading the cursive golden letters on the card.

|                      Neo Host Club                        |

                           Empathy,

           We turn dreams into reality.

|                Room: 127  7am-6pm                 |

You raise your brow in confusion as you examine the card front to back. We turn dreams into reality? What the hell did that mean? An escorting buisiness perhaps.. though you highly doubt the school would allow such a thing. Regardless of the clubs purpose, it was still worth checking out. As the name and slogan intrigued you very much.

And thus, you began your journey down the rabbit hole of poorly chosen decisions and midnight drunk hook ups. But sooner or later the spiral will begin to unwind and all will be revealed. After all, they didn't call him the king of hearts for nothing...

How was that huh? Probably not what you expected but oh well :/ don't expect for part two to be out any time soon!!! Currently working through writers block :(

[ashleyspinelliburnbook]

S1E8: The Pest/The Legend of Big Kid

It’s a happy day, because we have been gifted both a Gretchen episode and a TJ episode! But it’s also a very fraught day, emotionally, for reasons you’ll soon discover. (There’s a good kicker, at least, for your trouble. No spoilers, but the ending of “The Pest” goes exactly as I’ve relayed it here.)

Read on for relationship advice, feminism, and a brief aside about white colonists in Africa:

The Pest

How To Make A Boy You Don’t Like Leave You Alone

by Gretchen Grundler

I don’t hate boys. Anyone who says that about me is simply incorrect. Four of my best friends are boys — my friend Spinelli and I are the only two girls in our group. When I’m fighting that kind of gender ratio and still enjoy their company, how could I ever hate them?

But some boys in particular are not worth my time. As a person who recently had an experience deflecting one of these boys’ advances over an extended period of time, I feel I am uniquely qualified to dole out advice on this matter.

I’m sort of spoiling the endgame here, but let me say, it is scores more effective to deal with troublesome boys yourself than to leave them to your teacher. Miss Grotke may mean well, but she’s a teacher, after all. At the core of her philosophy is law and order. Plus, in Miss Grotke’s case, she’s a much bigger proponent of letting us work out our own issues. Everyone wins.

You may feel hopeless, though, when a boy you don’t like starts bothering you in class. Maybe you want to tell the teacher. But that’s just a quick fix, and not a particularly effective one. It’s a band-aid. It won’t translate to your interactions on the playground, which is where your reputation really matters. (Okay, your academic reputation also matters. Maybe more.)

Of course, you may not know he likes you until he TELLS THE ENTIRE SCHOOL AT THE SAME TIME AND YOU JUST HAVE TO SIT THERE AND TAKE IT BECAUSE IF YOU DENY IT RIGHT AWAY THE ENTIRE PLAYGROUND WILL BE TOO BUSY LAUGHING TO NOTICE.

Whew, that felt good.

Still, nothing brings the playground together like a common laughingstock, and that was me. And when there’s a common laughingstock — the K-I-S-S-I-N-G chants were still ringing in my ears long after they happened — this empowers the boy you don’t like. Because suddenly, he’s not working for his cause alone. Suddenly, the entire playground is on his side.

What did I do? Well, I felt entirely hopeless. I tossed and turned every night, vivid dreams of this boy and I getting married and having children and growing old together disrupting my sleep. I was so distressed that I didn’t come to school the next day until lunch, which isn’t like me at all, of course. I want to stress, that was a one-time course of action. When he found me in the cafeteria, my friends tried to protect me, but alas, my lovestruck friend Mikey was starting to be won over by this boy’s persistence.

The first action I took was to simply cancel out what this boy had done to me first, declaring his love for me to the whole school. According to my calculations, it had the least risk and the most reward. Unfortunately, when a girl tells the whole school she isn’t romantically involved with a boy, they tend to believe the opposite. A boy publicly announcing his love for a girl, even against her wishes, is revolutionary, a real risk, something to be lauded. A girl publicly announcing her rejection of a boy is, well, mean. There are many high-school names a girl in my position might be called, but I won’t trouble you with them.

After even more pestering at school, even up to him talking to me through the vent that connects the boys’ bathroom and the girls’ bathroom, I had had enough. On the bus home, I told him I wouldn’t speak to him anymore, recognizing that ignoring him hadn’t worked in the past, but I was desperate for any semblance of peace and quiet, even if it was from me. 

You know what he said? “I’ll take your silence as a yes,” and, “Denial is the sincerest form of flattery.” That’s not even the phrase! And if he was taking silence as a yes, why wouldn’t he take me saying “no” as a no?

The next action I took was drastic — high risk, a potential of a lifetime of punishment if it went south — but I knew it was a risk I had to take. I marched up to this boy at school the next day and called him out. I pulled out a pair of handcuffs and locked us together for eternity. The key? Gone. This boy? Presumably having the time of his life.

Except...he wasn’t. As I regaled him with all the things I would make him do that day — math club, spelling bee practice, a frog dissection over lunch — robbing him of his agency for perhaps the very first time, he broke down immediately. I pulled out the spare key to the handcuffs and set him free.

He said he just wanted to show me how much he liked me. But if we don’t call out this entitlement early, who knows when this awakening might have occurred for him? How many more girls would have had to suffer this ordeal?

“You know, Spinelli? Boys are really weird,” I told my friend when this was all said and done. “I know what you mean,” she replied. “Can’t live with them, can’t grind them into chalk dust.”

My eyes lit up as I thought of a science project I had been working on in my spare time.

“Well, actually, you could,” I said. Because I may be one to take one for the team, to put myself in harm’s way to try to mitigate future suffering at the hands of another person, but that doesn’t mean I don’t always have a backup plan.

Takeaway: Hot damn, this episode made me mad!

The Legend of Big Kid

Is Kirby Puckett the greatest outfielder that ever lived?

I'm not much of a stats person beyond the basics — field goal percentage, sacks, errors, the ones that will come up in conversation on a regular game broadcast. So, aside from a quick glance at his career numbers, which tell a story about his career, I can’t tell you if Kirby Puckett was the greatest outfielder that ever lived. (I will say that his number was retired a few months before this episode aired, which was a few years before the domestic violence allegations against him came out.)

Anyway, lucky for us, Vince and TJ can’t make this decision either, and it’s during their argument that they stumble right into the setting for this episode: the old playground that allegedly hasn’t been used since the 1970s. (Yet it’s on campus? Okay, okay, suspension of disbelief. My elementary school had a whole bunch of ways to get off campus during recess without anyone noticing, but it wasn’t done with any regularity — it’s possible they just didn’t know it was there.)

But it turns out someone has been using it, and recently, because TJ falls into a trap. As he’s hanging upside-down from the monkey bars, the two hear the rumbling of kindergarteners approaching. TJ tells Vince to save himself, but Vince instead distracts them so that perhaps TJ can get away. Vince, though, doesn’t realize how far or how fast he’s been running, because before he knows it, he’s back at the regular playground sobbing into Spinelli’s arms about how he could have done more to save his friend.

The coast seems clear, so the gang heads back to the old playground to get TJ, but he’s gone. Gretchen posits the kindergarteners must have taken him back to their pen, but that’s deserted, too. “They’ve probably migrated to their winter encampment,” she says, which doesn’t make the rest of the gang any less terrified for TJ’s safety.

We then get a jarring prisoner log from TJ, who tells us, “The unthinkable has happened. I am a prisoner of the kindergarteners.” He’s in a cage, unsure how much time has passed, and he’s not sure what his captors have planned for him. One of them — their leader, who TJ calls “Captain Sticky,” calls him “Big Kid” and tosses him some candy. TJ refuses to eat it, in case they’re fattening him up to eat him, but eventually is too hungry to say no.

Meanwhile, the gang is busy hustling the rest of the school, asking if they saw the kindergarteners, if there was a fourth-grader with them. The outcome appears bleak for TJ — everyone knows what might happen if those kids got a hold of an older kid: nothing good.

TJ, though, is...starting to like captivity, or at least get used to it. Whereas the kindergarteners first have to threaten him with weapons (crayons and paintbrushes attached to the end of yardsticks) to join them in tasks like finger painting and napping, he quickly assimilates to their ways.

Gretchen finds TJ’s shoe on the playground, lost in one of the initial scuffles, and Vince erupts in a “Noooo!” so heart-wrenching, you forget that TJ is, well, okay. Because the gang doesn’t know that. The kindergarteners are too elusive. No one knows what they’re up to except them.

But the gang acts on a more promising lead as Gretchen uncovers a still-wet lollipop. The trail is hot again!...just as we see TJ napping again, riding tricycles, and playing musical chairs. Is he too far gone?

When the gang arrive back at the old playground, they fall into yet another trap. Someone locks them in a cage, and the kindergarteners assemble, beating drums and shrieking. (We will...have to talk about how the kindergarteners are portrayed at some point in these recaps. There’s a very obvious white settler colonist, Indiana Jones, “thrilling adventures through untamed Africa!” look about them.)

The drumbeats slow, and who should walk out but...Big Kid. Well, TJ. The gang are shocked at how quickly the kindergarteners have completely taken hold of their friend, who now dresses like the kindergarteners, acts like the kindergarteners, and speaks like the kindergarteners. He won’t listen when they try to tell them who he is.

Somehow, it’s Vince talking about baseball that brings him back, though. Little League. Kirby Puckett. And TJ breaks down in tears, wailing, because he’s been through so much.

The gang finally gets him out of there, and Spinelli has to help TJ tie his shoes. “Shoes, underpants, I can’t get used to all this stuff!” he exclaims, and they don’t get it. (Gus calls the kindergarteners “primitive.” See latest parenthetical section.) But Gretchen recognizes he’s in a better place to be able to listen to reason now, so after he tells the gang he misses the freedom of being able to do whatever he wants all day, she says, “Don’t you see? Their way of life is coming to an end. By this time next year, they’ll be first graders.”

And TJ does get it. With one last nod to Captain Sticky, they part ways.

Takeaway: Growing up is hard, especially when you’re a kid and it goes by so quickly. Perhaps giving into some indulgences of yesteryear isn’t all bad, though, so long as you balance them with your current life and don’t let them consume you.

[thelittlepalmtree]

Chloe is Fifteen

This started out as a quick post and then I got really upset lol

I think a lot of the people in the fandom forget how young the characters in MLB are. I honestly think they’re all around 15 if not closer to 14 though I know there’s some ambiguity. We have to remember the kids watching the show are even younger, between 6 and 10 as far as I know.

A few months back I got into a very heated argument with some people because they seemed happy to write off Chloe as a villain. After all, she’s a bully, and they were bullied, so she’s a terrible person, right? But the truth is, even if you were bullied as a kid, it’s not all or even mostly on the bully. Because the fundamental truth about kids that young is that they can’t be blamed for their actions.

Now I’m not saying don’t hold them accountable, by all means, we should respond to negative behavior in a way that teaches them why it’s wrong and that they can’t do it again. But the reason we do that isn’t for the pleasure of punishment, but in order to teach that child more appropriate behavior. If punishment isn’t what they need, it’s not going to be the best response because at the end of the day the goal is to end that behavior and replace it with positive behavior.

To me, Chloe shows a lot of signs of being a child with an Emotional/Behavioral Dsiability (that’s what we call it in education though to earn that label you can have any number of diagnoses) and therefore needs some serious help learning coping mechanisms. We’ve even seen evidence of childhood trauma (a neglectful parent: Audrey) which is almost always present in children with E/BDs. Chloe clearly has really strong emotions, and when she feels them she gets overwhelmed and struggles to control her behavior. Does that make her a bad person? On screen it certainly comes off that way.

I recently subbed for a paraprofessional who was a one-to-one aid for a girl who seemed to have an e/bd. She was academically on grade level, but needed to take breaks when she got worked up. When I arrived, she was in crisis, crying in the back of her room because her teachers basically didn’t give a fuck about her. Throughout the break she took (which was about an hour long), she expressed how angry she was at her class for being chaotic. She couldn’t cope with the teacher’s shaming the class for their behavior when she was behaving properly (the fact that the teachers sucked in that class is another story), something that most of us adults would probably be able to realize wasn’t a big deal. At several points during her crisis she threatened to hurt herself or other students in the class (I was the school counselor this whole time so she responded to this behavior). If another parent was watching this happen, they might be angry and demand she be taken out of the school, they might feel unsafe even. And she knew the severity of what she was saying, but she was upset and she couldn’t control herself. When I and the other teachers were patient with her and finally helped her focus on other things, like drawing and sensory activities she was completely calm and able to return to class. The rest of the day, she only took one more break which was during a test. 

I think most people, if they met the girl I worked with that day, would never classify her as a “bad person.” It is very clear that she simply needs extra help. She needs to learn more appropriate coping mechanisms for her emotions. And yet Chloe, who does not have any support at all, could be described almost exactly the same way. It’s easy to hate Chloe because she’s mean, but why is she mean? Why is Marinette nice? Why is Alya nice? Why is Adrien Nice? It has very little to do with some inherent goodness and quite a lot to do with how all of these characters were raised. We see Marinette with loving parents who are always there to support her. They encourage her to pursue her dreams and work hard, but they also give her all their love and attention, maybe not pushing her to excel. This is unlike Alya’s parents who both work hard, Alya is clearly given a lot of responsibility as she takes care of her little sisters. That might be why she’s always willing to jump into the action, her parents have shown her that she not only is capable, but that she needs to be capable. And Adrien, who still has trauma in his past, was always held to high expectations, his bad behavior would never have been enabled the way Chloe’s was. The backgrounds of all these characters were made clear specifically to show us what makes these characters who they are.

And Chloe was given that background too. At first we see that she’s spoiled by her father, but the slow release of details about Audrey was so vital to the growth of her character. Honestly, as a teacher, seeing Chloe’s backstory is heartbreaking. Having a parent that doesn’t give a shit about you and a parent that tries to overcompensate by just giving you whatever you want and not actually parenting you is such a recipe for disaster. Think about it, when you were a kid, if throwing a tantrum got you everything you ever wanted, would you ever learn to stop throwing tantrums? This kind of lazy parenting on the part of Mayor Bourgeois is so damaging to a kid. If all goes well, they might be able to get past it when they’re in school--except for Chloe everyone at school enables her behavior as well, so she’s never learning the basic emotional control that we all learned.

And on top of that her mother is Audrey Bourgeois. Chloe is clearly so desperate for her mother’s love, I mean it’s honestly heart breaking to watch. I mean in Audrey entire screen time she only ever gave a shit about Chloe when someone said she was the meanest girl in Paris. That’s just more reinforcing of negative behavior. She never stood a chance.

So we’ve got a girl with a lot of anger and no positive ways to manage it. On top of that she’s fifteen, and even the best fifteen year olds are still fifteen. She’s got all kinds of hormones and feelings running through her, oh and did I mention, because of her behavioral problems, all her peers hate her? So of course she’s got no incentive to be nice to them.

So how do we help kids like this in real life? How do we get them ready for real life? Well we show them a lot of compassion and understanding first of all. Then we teach them positive coping mechanisms, and then we manage their behavior (meaning reinforce good behavior and punish bad behavior). When it comes to behavior management it is so much more important to reinforce good behavior than to punish bad behavior. Because that shows kids how managing their feelings well gets them a reward, and makes them want to manage their feelings in a positive way.

The fact that Chloe loves being Queen Bee is exactly what makes her such a great character to me. She is finally being given positive reinforcement for her positive behavior and she loves it. She’s so excited to get to be good! That shows me what a truly realistic and sweet kid Chloe really is. It shows me that she has so much potential if only one of the adults in her life would just step the fuck up and PARENT her.

Unfortunately, that role went to Ladybug, who is just a teenager herself. Of course Marinette can’t understand the complexity behind Chloe’s behavior and how much being Queen Bee meant to her. This is nothing against Marinette, just that she is also a fifteen year old kid. It’s not her job to parent Chloe, and she’s not doing that job. So Chloe, who was finally making progress (albeit it was set back by the visit from her mom), is now being thrown back into the terrible situation she was in.

Criticizing or Hating Chloe is not like Criticizing or hating a typical villain. For one, Chloe is not the villain and is (as of right now) one of the heroes of this story, Marinette just doesn’t like her. Secondly, criticizing White Diamond, or Shadoweaver is completely different from criticizing Chloe. They are adults who are completely aware of how their behavior is toxic and yet still behave that way. They have control of themselves and even if they did have a tragic backstory, they aren’t children with brains that haven’t fully developed. Chloe is.

If you hate Chloe, ask yourself whether you’d hate Adrien if he behaved the way she did. The truth is, what makes you a good person at fifteen isn’t anything inherently good and special in you. It’s your experiences and how the adults in your life taught you to behave that made you that person--even if they were bad like Gabriel Agreste is to Adrien, they may have taught you to be good.

[emma-whoisleft]

GENERAL INFORMATION ➤

Full Legal Name: Emma Esmé Vanity

Emma = “Whole, universal”

Esmé = “Esteemed, loved”

Vanity = “Excessive pride in or admiration for oneself”

Nickname(s): n/a and don’t even try it Age: 18 Gender & Pronouns: cisgender female; she/her Sexuality: Greyromantic and bisexual with an outward preference for men driven by her traditional values and life plans. Date of Birth: March 27th Horoscope: Aries

Strengths: Courageous, determined, confident, blunt, passionate

Weaknesses: Impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, aggressive

Likes: Comfortable clothes, taking on leadership roles, physical challeng individual sports

Dislikes: Inactivity, delays, work that does not use one’s talents

Hogwarts House: Slytherin Nationality: English on her father’s side; a quarter Moroccan via her mother’s. Emma grew up just outside Yorkshire and is very vocally proud of the region, flawed accents and all. 

Occupation:

Emma is currently a student, but she has big plans for her future and no doubt that she’ll be able to accomplish them — which isn’t a surprise to anyone who’s ever met her. Not many seventeen year olds purchase, renovate and successfully run a Quidditch camp as a summer project, and very few others have done simultaneous Ministry internships. 

Ultimately, Emma wants to work at the Ministry of Magic’s Department of Magical Games and Sports. This is made easier by the fact that her father is the Vice Head of the department and her godfather is the Head, but she genuinely wants to build her career upon her own merits. She plans to start as a Junior Regulations Analyst with a seat on the International Event Coordination team. Her goals are currently to change the relationship the Ministry has with corporate sponsors and private companies to increase the funding ceiling and strengthen key partnerships.

Then, within five years, her goal is to create her own, new position (Executive Liaison, final title pending!). Through that, she believes she would run her own staff as a department-within-a-department and be the official point of contact for team owners, sponsors, donors, private partner companies – such as her camp and similar programs – and key suppliers of equipment, uniforms, brooms, balls, etcetera. 

She plans to use whatever downtown is leftover to work on the Department’s overall public relations strategy and inter-Ministry reputation.

Summarized in One Word: Headstrong

APPEARANCE ➤

Faceclaim: Phoebe Tonkin  Height: 5′4″ Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Noticeable Features: Resting bitch face, and the ability to instill a primal fear in someone with nary a glance. 

Typical Outfit or General Fashion Sense: Emma is usually dressed for capital-B Business. her wardrobe consists of black, grey and other neutrals and she opts for simple lines, minimalist looks and the simple intimidation of clear wealth. Streamlined, with hints to reclaimed masculinity; she has more blazers than any eighteen year old should, but she can seriously rock a little black dress, too. 

HISTORY ➤

Hometown:

The Vanity family has always have a longstanding history of residing in the North Country of England, on the outskirts of Yorkshire and the Humber. Although grand in scale like most pureblood manors, the inside of the estate is considerably warmer; it features dark-paneled wood instead of marble and walls painted in warmer hues than one might normally see. The untouchable artifacts that one might find in other homes have largely been replaced with Quidditch memorabilia, family photos, and bookshelves.

There is a grande ballroom for throwing events and the foyer is invariably pristine, but the layout contains several dens stocked with comfortable couches, ever-burning fireplaces, and shelves of whiskeys and wines brought up from storage in the basement. Everything is sleek and kept up to a standard of perfection, but the family and all those who lived there before them worked hard to ensure that the place seemed approachable to newcomers. Charms ensure that the house always smells of sharp vanilla, burning wood, and pine.

The grounds feature a lake surrounded by willow trees and a trail that leads through a hedge maze into what used to be a prized garden and have since become home to a miniature Quidditch pitch used by Emma as a child learning to fly; the hoops now stand only as tall as she is, but it remains there as a tribute as the flowers grow back around them.

The home is conveniently located only two miles from the practice grounds of the Appleby Arrows, the former team of Eoin Vanity and a family favorite for the last eight generations.

Financial Status: Upper class Spoken Languages: English, and a little bit of German. Enough to have a conversation, but not enough to consider herself fluent. She’s working on some Arabic, having taken an interest for Antonin and Tazie’s sake.  Dream Job: Decision maker of the entire world Bad Habits: Emma will tell anyone who asks that she has none...because of course she will. What she means by this, however, is that she has no "traditional vices” like smoking or drinking. Bad habits, though, she has plenty. Despite holding herself to a strict schedule, she is late for nearly everything. She is also a bit of a packrat; her bag is filled at all times with disorganized papers and lists that make perfect sense to her, and that she won’t just get rid of on the off chance she one day needs them again. She’s also a fairly close-minded person. She’s not curious and prefers to stick to what, who and where she knows best. 

FAMILY BACKGROUND ➤

Mother: Yvette Vanity Father: Eoin Vanity (neé Shaper) Sibling(s): n/a Pet(s): n/a Cousin(s): Amycus and Alecto Carrow (second cousins) 

MAGICAL ABILITIES ➤

Wand: Alder, 9 ¼ inches, mermaid hair core, inflexible. Information on the core can be found here [x] and here [x]

Patronus (and which memory they’re currently using to cast a patronus if they can, or which one they’d use if they could): 

Although she has not yet been successful in casting it, Emma’s patronus would take the form of a camel. Camels are symbolic of perseverance and stamina. People with this patronus are often superbly adapted to their own situation and personal element, but clumsy or inflexible in situations that are unfamiliar. The camel is a symbol of a strong work ethic and a stubborn attitude. While those with a camel patronus are often short tempered with small annoyances, they have almost limitless patience for life’s most difficult hurdles.

Eventually, Emma will use the memory of holding her firstborn son Gus in her arms to cast the most successful patronus she’s ever been personally capable of. For now, her selections oscillate between Quidditch Cup wins, opening day of her camp and her New Years Eve vacation to Russia with Lucinda. 

Boggart: An oversized, string-bound marionette doll. At face value, it is a very real fear of hers: dolls have caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up since she was a child. Even as a little girl who had not yet discovered the joys of Quidditch, Emma wouldn’t allow dolls of any sort to be allowed in her playroom– including, to the dismay of her mother, the collection of Victorian-era china dolls that she was supposed to take under her wing. On a deeper level, however, the boggart represents so much more: the fear of not being in control of her actions, of being a puppet of her family, of everything in her life coming with strings attached. 

OWLS: Ancient Runes, History of Magic, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Potions, Arithmancy, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures NEWTS: Transfiguration (A), Arithmancy (E), Herbology (E), Defense Against the Dark Arts (E); Charms (E); History of Magic (O); Potions (INCOMPLETE)

What Kind of Magic do They Excel at: (OOC NOTE, this ended up becoming more of a pro/con thing than an ‘excel’ thing, but I like it so I’m keeping it oop)

Emma’s grades have always been stable and in the mid-range. However, she’s always known that her career path leads through to the world of sports somehow and that knowledge is enough to bolster her through any lower points in her academic career. 

Nonverbal spells are Emma’s specialty, as she has never been one to show her cards and depends on the elements of mystery and surprise when she’s looking to make an impact. She is heavily guarded when it comes to her arsenal, and so she stared making nonverbal spell-casting a priority. Her constant need for control over situations has lead to her holding her wand too tightly; it makes her wrist movements less fluid than they should be. 

Along those same times, the type of magic she is most gifted at is defensive magic, an interest that’s only increased in the current political climate. She can pull a shield, she can deflect, she can make herself a smaller and less easily seen target. It’s not about winning for her; it’s about surviving, just knuckling down and making sure that the crossfire doesn’t decimate her. These spells being largely nonverbal is an added boon for her safety; they draw less attention and can’t be as easily combatted. 

Personality wise, Emma is abrasive and that’s a quality that has carried over into her magic; when she tries spells, they are a bit harsher than intended. For instance, she knows a thing or two about first aid spells but if she had to heal a teammate’s broken nose on the pitch, there would be more of a crack to it—and, likely, leftover bruising—than if anyone else had tried.

Outside of dueling/magic situations, when Emma is on the offense, she prefers to do it through soft influence: with her words, with her power over people, through other channels other than violence. She knows her limits as well as the limits of others, and she’s never been able to stomach using violent magic against someone else…not that she’s ever tried, to date.

If she ever did have to make a show of physical power, her years on the Quidditch pitch have given her a predisposition to do it with actual physicality, not her wand. She has no problem smacking an unwelcome hand away or giving a well-placed shove. 

In terms of subjects she does NOT excel at, Emma is terrible at cooking and by that same logic she is terrible at potions. She doesn’t have the precision, intuition, or gentle touch for the subject. 

PSYCHOLOGY ➤

MB Type: The Logistician

Few personality types are as practical and dedicated as Logisticians. Known for their reliability and hard work, Logisticians are good at creating and maintaining a secure and stable environment for themselves and their loved ones. 

Yet Logisticians can be easily tripped up in areas where their practical and methodical approach are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, learning to relax or improvise, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder, or managing their workload.

As parents, people with the Logistician personality type are often the most comfortable. Their sense of responsibility and honor blends well with a tradition that has been in place since time immemorial: to raise one’s children to be respected, contributing members of home and society. As with most commitments, Logisticians do not take their roles as parents lightly, and will make it their work to ensure that this tradition is upheld to the highest standard.

Logisticians approach relationships, as with most things, from a rational perspective, looking for compatibility and the mutual satisfaction of daily and long-term needs. Blind dates and random hookups are not Logisticians’ preferred methods for finding potential partners. The risk and unpredictability of these situations has Logisticians’ alarm bells ringing, and being dragged out for a night of dancing at the club just isn’t going to happen. 

Logistician friends are not spontaneous. They are not talkative, or particularly playful in their affection. What Logistician friends are is loyal, trustworthy, honorable and dependable. Logisticians are a very methodical personality type, and this loyalty isn’t given away lightly. Often slow to make friends, Logisticians usually end up with a smaller circle, but they consider that circle to represent a promise to be there for the people they care about, and Logisticians’ promises are not easily broken.

When it comes to the workplace, Logisticians are almost a stereotype for the classic hard-working, dutiful employee. In all positions, the Logistician personality type seeks structure, clearly defined rules, and respect for authority and hierarchy. Responsibilities aren’t burdens to Logisticians, they are the trust that has been placed in them, an opportunity to prove once again that they are the right person for the job.

Enneagram: ISTJ [read more]

ISTJs are responsible organizers, driven to create and enforce order within systems and institutions. They are neat and orderly, inside and out, and tend to have a procedure for everything they do. Reliable and dutiful, ISTJs want to uphold tradition and follow regulations.

ISTJs are steady, productive contributors. Although they are Introverted, ISTJs are rarely isolated; typical ISTJs know just where they belong in life, and want to understand how they can participate in established organizations and systems. They concern themselves with maintaining the social order and making sure that standards are met.

+ Perseverance + Planning + Detail Orientation – Stubbornness – Tactlessness – Resistance to change

Moral Alignment: Lawful Neutral 

Archetype:

45% Athlete - The Athlete's focus and drive are unparalleled. Staying healthy and being fit are paramount to them (as for winning, that doesn't hurt, either).

44% Royal - When the Royal walks into a room, they command attention. They are the one in charge, and they enjoy reaping the rewards of their hard work.

11% Intellectual - The Intellectual is the ultimate dinner-party guest. Engaging questions and thoughtful debate are their trademarks.

Temperament: Choleric

[lighthouseroleplay]

RHETT  MONTGOMERY

                          ( 23 ,  cis man , he/him )

♪♫ currently listening  ⧸⧸  do you love someone by grouplove

a trickle of sweat between shoulderblades, tousled hair, the sweetness of the first bite into an apple. a single sunflower alone in a field of grass, puppy-dog enthusiasm, unsent texts. ice on indigo bruises, ace bandages neatly rolled, excited ramblings bitten back. distant eyes, the taste of water when parched, the way crickets trill first thing in the morning. a loud, booming bass.

    •  jasper, through sheer luck, was in practically every class you had in high school. you were never close, but by virtue of group projects and a shared love of the local coffee shop as a study spot, you spent a lot of time together. you knew they always thought you were smart, a certainty you didn’t share, and when you didn’t graduate with the rest of your class, you knew they’d had questions, doing your best to dodge them on social media and in person. you knew their intentions were good, but some things you didn’t know if you wanted to share.

    •  emrys was an oddity, but perhaps the strange aspect of your friendship with her was that you had not always been her friend. you weren’t expecting to be homecoming king, weren’t expecting the chaos and attention that followed. suddenly you were holding hands on a float, smiling uncomfortably, spending more and more time with her. your friends assumed you were dating, why wouldn’t they? an athlete and a cheerleader, the homecoming king and queen, what could be more perfect than that, and it was so easy to let them believe it. for some reason, you trusted her, comfortable sharing tidbits of your life that went deeper than sports and smiles, and you could tell she felt the same. it was only ever a friendship for both of you, but both of you had your own reasons for letting others believe it was anything more. (in truth, it was the same reason. one thing you never discussed? who you were actually attracted to.)

also connected to auclair

taken by ryan  ⧸⧸  cody kearsley

Pressure. He’s cracked under it, overcome it, and thrived because of it. Living up to the standards of one of the most well-regarded families in Tenebrin Port (residents of Renfrew Heights, no less) took focus and dedication. With an accountant for a father and a professor for a mother, it was expected he would be an intellectual. If that wasn’t enough, back in his glory days his dad was shortlisted for the NFL until a shoulder injury put him out of commission. Naturally, Rhett was expected to follow in the man’s footsteps. He was a kindergartener at Roosevelt Elementary when he first learned how to throw and sustain a tackle. The pressure to finish what his father had started wasn’t unwarranted; Rhett had inherited his talent. Growing up, if he wasn’t studying, he’d be in the backyard doing drills, wind sprints, and perfecting his form. The weekends he spent fishing down at the Lookout were his only respite from the grueling hours of conditioning and schoolwork. But through it all, his dad was his best coach and his mom his biggest cheerleader. Their approval and support meant everything; he could always count on them to root for him in the stands.

With a Letterman jacket and good looks to boot, popularity came easy for him at Cecil Morgan. No one, not even Rhett, was surprised when he found himself crowned Homecoming king. Few things in Rhett’s mundane existence were surprising, aside from the fact he’d never had a girlfriend. Not a real one anyway. His best friend masquerading as one to cover his secret left unspoken didn’t count. It didn’t click why even she, the hottest cheerleader in school and most incredible girl in Tenebrin, couldn’t get him going. According to the movies, he was meant to actually enjoy slow dancing with his queen, not spend it eyeing one of his male teammates schmoozing by the punch table.

Rhett wasn’t in denial; his attraction towards men wasn’t a mystery to him. But the timing of coming to terms with his sexuality was far from ideal. Bigger things were at stake. When he was finally ready to rip off the bandaid and come out, he didn’t want to further burden his parents. Months after he’d gotten his crown and graduation was in sight, his father came under investigation for aiding in tax evasion. Most of their savings, including his college fund, went to paying off the press. His father worked for some high profile clients. The last thing they wanted was a scandal and the Montgomerys would rather struggle in silence than damage their reputation in Tenebrin. It seemed hiding behind a facade ran in his blood.

With his father out of work and his mother out on a research sabbatical, it became difficult to sustain their lifestyle. Rhett volunteered to pick up shifts as a barista at Has Bean, his favorite study spot. Bitter as he was that his parents had squandered the money meant to propel him out of town and into his future, he felt an obligation to provide for them. He became a caregiver and what little income he made from his wage and tips went towards putting food on the table. In the midst of legal battles and long hours at the cafe, his grades and attendance suffered. Not that he cared. None of it mattered. It was too late in the game to apply for scholarships. His parents didn’t have the money to send him to any of the prestigious places he’d been accepted – all of which would rescind those acceptances when they saw his final semester’s academic performance. It was pointless. And he made sure not to show up on his intended graduation date to avoid the embarrassment.

Rhett’s father was soon prosecuted for aiding and abetting a tax crime earning himself five years in federal prison. He spent the summer in a daze. Reality set in that his dad might not be the man he always knew him to be. How could he have spent his whole life admiring and respecting a criminal? Because that didn’t change who he was. So he had his secrets and lived behind a mask. So did Rhett. As the new school year approached, his mother begged him to save face with his classmates and maintain that all was well on the homefront. Part of his role in ensuring people stopped asking questions was to complete his second senior year without complaint. Classes were easy since he’d already sat through a year of the same material. Lucky for him, since he spent most of his days distracted eyeing the new enigmatic, exchange student. Perhaps, it’s true what they say. Everything happens for a reason. The butterfly effect. If his father hadn’t broken the law he wouldn’t have stayed at Cecil Morgan for another year. And if he hadn’t stayed at school for an extra year, he wouldn’t have found himself in the back corner of a party kissing the best thing to happen to him in this godforsaken town that seemed to take everything from him. Including Andy Clare.

His father, his hopes and dreams, the headstrong girl with more potential for success than them all. Tenebrin takes and takes and takes. And yet, Rhett was stuck. He got his own place, a studio on Leforge Avenue, and went full-time as a manager at Has Bean. Most of the others from that night had gotten out, avoiding the inevitable. But he knew nothing could ever assuage the endless guilt he felt. They were responsible. No one told Andy to jump into the water that night, but not one of them tried to save her. Not one of them tried to overcome their own fear. Searching for ways to remedy his facing mind in the evenings when he was home alone, Rhett took up painting. It was therapeutic to unjumble the images in his mind on a blank canvas. Strangely, he found his biggest inspiration the first time he ever visited the bench named in memoriam for Andy down at the Lookout.

His artwork had one common theme: water; what he feared more than anything else. The sound of a wave crashing against the shore had lost all of its former peacefulness. Now it only caused him to shutter. Don’t go into the water, he reminded himself. Easier said than done. Every night for the past few months he’s had the same vision of Andy screaming, thrashing beneath the waves, then rising above the water in a flash of light and echo of song beckoned him to the old lighthouse.

Between the dream, his father’s impending release in a few months, and the arrival of some familiar faces in town he’s on the verge of a visit with the ghosts of his past. Those are dangerous waters to navigate for someone who’s become a recluse and cut off the world in the midst of trauma. The pressure’s on. Will Rhett sink or will he swim?

[gdgoenkaschooling]

Qualities of G.D Goenka School – Sonipat’s Best School

Qualities That Every School Should Have

One of the main qualities of a G.D. Goenka school is that it promotes the development of the whole child. Students are encouraged to think critically and creatively. They are also taught to analyze the environment they live in. They learn to be international-minded and to challenge the norms. The school also promotes the development of a healthy work culture, which promotes growth.

Moreover, students at Goenka School have access to a fully covered swimming pool, which is included in the curriculum. The school also offers modern facilities like a squash court, Jacuzzi, and smart class rooms. The curriculum also promotes reading. Students are encouraged to read and discuss books in class, and this is a hallmark of any Goenka School.

Quality education should be an important part of a G.D. Goenka public school. The school's location makes it easy for parents to reach the campus. This CBSE-accredited school is dedicated to nurturing the child's inherent potential. The teachers use an innovative, student-centered teaching approach to help students learn. They also promote initiative and critical thinking. They believe in the importance of fostering a positive attitude, so that students can face the challenges of life.

G.D. Goenka Top School Qualities

If you're looking for a high school in Sonipat, Haryana. GD Goenka Public School is a good option. This private school has a high-quality academic curriculum and a prestigious alumni list. The school offers a full-time English teaching staff and a world-class athletics program.

As a member of the internationally renowned G D Goenka Group of Education, this public school is committed to excellence. The school has consistently aimed for excellence since its inception in the early 80s. The school is known for its world-class facilities, as it was the first in India to introduce sensory taps in toilets and mineral water dispensers.

The school's mission is to develop holistically-minded individuals with paramount values. It fosters academic excellence, critical thinking, effective skills, and a global perspective. The school's ethos focuses on developing leadership qualities in every child. Moreover, it provides a conducive environment to foster a sense of community and bonding between students. Whether your child is a boy or a girl, G.D. Goenka Public School will provide the right education and environment to help them become well-rounded and happy people.

While it is difficult to choose a school, G.D. Goenka has a lot to offer. The schools are equipped with modern educational aids and amenities and are dedicated to maintaining the highest standards of health, hygiene, and safety. They provide a diverse range of opportunities for talented young people to learn their passions and make a name for themselves.

Why everyone love G.D. Goenka School

Established in 1994, the G.D. Goenka School offers its students opportunities to discover and develop their talents. In addition to a rigorous academic curriculum, the school focuses on the holistic development of the child. It instills traits, qualities and character in children.

The school is a trend setter, with over 60 campuses in India and abroad. It is a leader in quality education, and has a reputation for providing students with the skills and knowledge they need to make their lives better and more fulfilling. The school offers a broad and balanced curriculum and has highly qualified teachers.

The annual presentation for Grade 3 was a memorable occasion. This year's theme was Sikkim - Where Nature Smiles. The Principal addressed the audience and shared the school's vision and mission. The event also featured musical performances and skits. Everyone present appreciated the dazzling display of talent.

The GD Goenka Group has taken education to a new level by investing in the highest quality educational facilities. Their schools have cutting-edge technology and a high standard of hygiene. This means that children will receive the best possible education. They will be able to access a wide range of learning resources and a wide range of extracurricular activities, as well as develop a sense of purpose.

[kingsheadharborrp]

Dilan Ulusoy

Name: Dilan Ulusoy

Date of Birth: April 5th, 1992

Age: 29

Gender/Pronouns: Cis woman / She / Her

Occupation: Architect

Hometown: Manhattan, New York

Length of time in King’s Head Harbor: 1 month

Faceclaim: Hande Erçel

BIOGRAPHY (Trigger Warning: None)

At 2:15am Dilan arrived into the world, just minutes before her twin brother Demir and a couple years after their older sibling, announcing her new presence through loud cries that her father sometimes likes to joke the whole block the hospital was on could hear. While the twins had been a surprise for a couple reasons, both in the fact that their parents hadn’t exactly been trying at the time, plus finding out there’d be two new additions. That certainly didn’t hinder on the happiness that came in the expansion of their little family. Born to Hakan and Elif Ulusoy; her father originally hailing from Istanbul, Turkey, where their last name in known widely, throughout the country itself, thanks to her grandfather’s empire of various business ventures. Hakan decided to come to the states in pursuance of medical school, now currently a renowned plastic surgeon specializing in cosmetic and emergency practice. While her mother Elif, came from more humble beginnings, whose parents immigrated to Queens from Bursa for a new start and chance at better opportunities. The woman serving as Chief Physicist in a lab just outside of the city.

Safe to say thanks to her parents careers Dilan and her siblings, which eventually also included a younger one to round off six, never went without. Though were always also instilled with the lesson of being grateful for everything they’d been fortunate enough to have. While traditional values weren’t inherently seeped into their home, her parents still made sure to surround their children with the culture they derived from. And in truth, growing up in a life surrounded by luxury was something that so much appealed to her, more so as she got older. Of course it’d be a lie to say it hadn’t come with plenty of benefits, but unlike her peers, her life didn’t revolve around exclusivity and material possessions. The downside however, was her parents schedules keeping them both incredibly busy, they tried to be around as much as possible, but a good portion of the time the children were raised by a nanny. To a small degree as a child, it disappointed Dilan especially on days she’d come home from grade school particularly excited to tell them about a painting she made or what they did. But glad at least to have her siblings around, especially her twin who was also her best friend.

Growing up she was a very curious and precocious child, after all being raised in a place like New York City there was plenty surrounding her to be intrigued by, every week it seemed she found something new to preoccupy her mind with. Whether it was watching and wanting to learn from the chef her parents hired a few times a week, the various paintings collected that hung around the walls of their home making her interested in art. Or the small library in her father’s office, while filled mainly with medical books, still contained a wealth of knowledge. Excelled academically, more so in areas such as math, science and art, after all, she and her siblings were also raised on the ideal to strive for their best and fullest potential. Socially; the more outwardly laid back demeanor she kept to made it easy for others to flock towards her and form friendships. Wouldn’t have called herself anywhere close to ‘It Girl’ but typically was seen in school running with a circle of what most would call a high form of popularity. She also had quick wit that got her scolded by many teachers she challenged and very rarely into fights. Like a viper ready to strike, mainly verbally yet when the situation truly called for it she wouldn’t be opposed to using her hands, especially if it was in defense of anyone she considered close.

High school also became a time of exploration within herself, in terms of her sexuality, finding that she had a growing attraction to other girls in school. A confusing time of figuring out whether it was simply a physical allure, or something felt deeper, and come her junior year it became very clear that it was the latter. With a mixture of anxiousness and wanting to just rip the band-aid off, she casually came out to her family one night during dinner while they were having their ‘weekly roundup’ talking about the highs and lows and what happened, that her father mandated as a way to keep close and spend more time together. It was definitely an unexpected ‘bomb drop’, so to speak, and after a moment she was met with mixed reactions, her siblings being the most supportive, while Hakan a bit befuddled still expressed he loved her all the same. Elif however, took a bit more time before openly acknowledging Dilan’s bisexuality. Not that she was completely against it, but being raised with the idea that it was taboo kept the woman at an impasse. Thanks to the help of her family and making an effort to learn about the community, the two of them were able to talk and Elif has since been more widely accepting.

Graduated at the top of her class, with quite a few options for university at her disposal, she ended up selecting MIT almost as soon as they granted her acceptance, majoring in Architecture. Another upside to coming from a place like New York, was the various different buildings and structures that littered the city, some having her in awe from a design and engineering standpoint. And why her move to Boston also went fairly smooth, the only adjustment she needed to get used to was not having her family around as much, though having independent qualities certainly helped to ease things and luckily just a 5 hour drive or 1 hour flight away. Worked tirelessly to ensure she kept her streak of academic excellence, even putting together a thesis that technically hadn’t been required of undergraduates. Obtained her Bachelor of Science and despite receiving a job offer from her current internship, Dilan set her sights abroad deciding instead to gain even more experience with an acclaimed firm in Paris. So soon enough, she found herself packing up and bound for the city of lights.

Far more of a change and culture shock than her initial move, but nevertheless steadily acclimated to Parisian life, more so focusing on the reason she’d gone in the first place, designing beautiful structures and securing a name for herself in the industry. Though leave it to a place that boasted a synonymousness nature with romance to somehow ensnare the girl who wasn’t the type to fall so easily. A whirlwind of passion that burned brightly, with a man named Alessandro, who painted a realm of possibilities together that she hadn’t ever envisioned before, and would for the next couple years ahead. At least until her parents growing disdain for the relationship began to dampen things, as much as she held firm on the love she knew, eventually doubt seeped deep enough to cloud her judgement, eventually winning. One day an abrupt decision had Dilan on a train back to New York and heartbreak left in the wake.

After settling in her home city once again, she took a bit of time to pull herself from a state of sadness before returning to work, this time as an independent, curating a loyal group of clientele while planning to open up her own firm. Something that was made possible sooner thanks to a friend of her family, who’d been in a career of real estate development. Investing in more of a relaxed partner capacity, allowing her to take much of the reigns as head architect and interior designer, dubbing the firm Nazlı Design, taken from her middle name. With a small group of upcoming and seasoned professionals on board they were able to grow from residential to commercial architecture as well, and becoming award winning within the last year. Thus why she finds herself in King’s Head Harbor now and for the past month, working on a project and has enjoyed her time in town enough to buy a home and contemplate expanding another office nearby.

PERSONALITY

+ Innovative, Resolute, Passionate -  Fastidious, Temperamental, Enigmatic

WRITTEN BY Admin Ari

[prosteticanimals]

Responsible for a fire inside music Budget? 12 Top Notch Ways to Spend Your Money

1 these millennial who knocked my socks off was this youthful girl named Anushka, a teenager in her early twenties. Her white t-shirt with "MILLENNIAL" in large, black, bold letters just caught our quick focus and we could not quit thinking of her Exclusive Talent Presentation, right here at Nirmiti Academy. The DIY (Get it done Your self) Craft was her distinctive talent. She represented a young encounter with the millennials. In addition, it was her presentation that spoke extra of her as a millennial. She was a true go-getter when it came to current her special expertise in a singular way. We could see her beaming with pleasure and pleasure to showcase her one of a kind talent to others. She was so psyched that she was chatting a mile a moment. She had a great deal of to say about it and she could go on and on and preserve us glued to her presentation. The millennials like Anushka and many Other folks are determined to operate on things which fascination them. At the same time, I could also see her being struggling to smile and existing herself happily. Long gone are the moments with the millennials wherever they feel current and revel in their surroundings. These are the era who truly feel the consistent will need for virtual awareness which leads them to overshare their life and times on social websites or go inward in deep conscience to find themselves. This leaves them unconnected Together with the Actual physical entire world all around them.

Millennials can be a very praised and confident generation. They are really a remarkably optimistic technology. They have a greater will need to possess life activities in lieu of to build up substance prosperity, While they are doing like to acquire things that will help them to delight in All those experiences. Millennials are probably the most educated era. Since the cost tag of instruction is currently so large and continuing to climb every year, Millennials have become quite savvy about their academic choices. Contrary to past generations who noticed schooling being a ritual and an investment decision inside their future, millennials see instruction as an cost, Unless of course it's going to empower them to be able to be a much better specific. They anticipate education and learning to aid them prepare for The brand new possibilities and problems of the age, instead of assisting them by giving actuality-based mostly info/information. The millennials want to be challenged by serious about the longer term And exactly how they will lead to creating a much better society and ecosystem. They don't come to feel the need to develop into "textbook sensible / e book worms".

They understand that points might be effortlessly identified on-line as a result of their very own impartial motion. These are the generation that boasts and prosper on understanding at finger "simply click". In the entire world of open entry to awareness, it tends to make minor perception to depend upon the classroom like a forum for the transfer of information.

As a substitute, the students A great deal choose to understand through the tales and ordeals of others. These shared tales and ordeals assistance them to reinforce their particular practical experience by Mastering from your success and problems of Some others. This aids them stay clear of building the identical errors as their influencers. For this reason, they like to speculate much more in their time and cash on such programs which assistance them to acquire several approaches that they may integrate into their feelings and choice-producing course of action, therefore developing a new ability set.

We can't overlook The point that millennials are also a generation of uncertainties and fluctuations. They're the era who likes to help keep switching their gadgets. They grew up with know-how the place every little thing was at their fingertips. It gets disheartening for them not to get what they need after they want it. Many of the points are actually handed to them on a silver spoon. This will make them sense entitled for getting what they need without Placing in A lot work.

While They're the foremost workforce of the companies currently, they do not believe in lifelong employment. Lifelong dedication is really a fairy tale with the millennials. They constantly leap from on task to a different since they are often on the lookout for a thing new and greater. These significant expectations become their downfall and will make them considerably less monetarily stable than their parents.

Millennials are in this article to stay! They're youthful, vibrant and energetic and they ARE the long run. They are wonderful property which the entire world will have to harness and use. They may be the era that's revolutionizing the whole world. They're the budding leaders of tomorrow. They undertake engineering and stimulus in precisely the same breadth. This generation is likewise a collaborative and social technology which has a concentrate on knowledge and making their expertise via numerous forms of medium to find the answers. It is for the educator like us to supply an arena for engagement and discovery in addition to be a content material professional and mentor. It really is for Studying platform suppliers like Nirmiti Academy to give an explorative and experiential working experience and bring out their accurate prospective in everyday life and at do the job. It is this transformational journey that we at Nirmiti Academy look forward to on a daily basis to learn, unlearn and relearn with these youthful and magical generation - the Millennials!

If the above mentioned title confuses you, you may be lacking out on several of the ideal opportunities the net provides. In the meantime, Others are increasing their Occupations, making ready For brand new lives as business owners, or are learning new abilities or expanding their information foundation, typically at little or no Value.

How are they carrying out this?

They are accessing MOOCs, or Large Open On line Programs. Although platforms have been readily available from elite colleges like MIT and Stanford for almost a decade, open-supply lessons go on to develop in number and popularity. Now, even some local community colleges like Wake Specialized College or university,Found exterior Raleigh, NC, features MOOCs to a world audience. This growing availability signifies You can find now an unbelievable number of programs accessible to anybody with an internet connection, no matter location.

Matters MOOCs go over can vary from contemporary robotics and astronomy to Roman architecture along with the American Novel Considering that 1945. MIT, for instance, has lessons centered about Mathematics, Engineering, Power and Science, in addition to a surprising amount of classes specializing in the Humanities and High-quality Arts. The College of Michigan gives classes ranging from "Storytelling for Social Adjust" to Python, information analytics, and equipment learning. You can also take leadership classes from HEC Paris via MOOC, rated with the Economist as owning the second strongest small business college alumni community on the planet.

Some MOOCs are designed to be taken for expertise attained, but numerous courses also provide a certificate of completion by web sites like Coursera.org. Certificates of completion--which are different from system credits--generally Price tag about $fifty. Economical aid is accessible for those who qualify.

Explanations to take into account a MOOC

There are many explanation why a MOOC class could possibly be best for your needs further than time management, although most MOOCs enable college students to work at their very own tempo, which suggests they simply match into most schedules, Regardless of how hectic. Other pros include:

An opportunity to Check out A significant ahead of paying for school classes. Any individual hoping to make a decision on a profession path, for The very first time or as a result of a midlife alter of direction, understands the stress of questioning "Let's say I'm Mistaken about my decision? Just how much cash am I heading to invest right before I comprehend this is not for me?" MOOCs are a terrific way to 'dip your toes' in, so to speak, ahead of the headache of addressing conventional university programs and standard school costs. It is possible to try out as lots of programs when you have enough time for right until a little something genuinely sparks your interest.

Take classes not readily available regionally. There are actually 1000s of MOOC classes out there online. Even when you are in Boston (where Harvard, MIT, Tufts, Boston Higher education and Boston University are all located) or Several other related university-dense site, you may likely locate a class or two through MOOC offerings not accessible to you locally.

Find out (or relearn) a language at no cost. Not simply can you are taking a international language training course without spending a dime by using MOOCs, but because of courses taught at overseas universities, you can also educate your ear by listening to indigenous speakers. Take a program taught during the language you would like to find out and follow together utilizing English subtitles. The second tactic is a terrific way to in essence double your Studying, but only performs if you have already got a minimum of an intermediate grasp of the language.

If Finding out Yet another language is just not substantial with your to-do record, maybe it ought to be: In 2017, New American Overall economy documented employer desire for bilingual workers in excess of doubled since 2010. This demand carries on to develop. Very best languages to check? Spanish, Chinese, and Arabic.

Develop up your resume with desired abilities. Maybe there is a improved work at work you are aware of you are able to do, but your manager does not Imagine you're capable for it since you absence particular skills. MOOCs are a terrific way to grow to be proficient in spots like HTML coding, Search engine optimisation analytics, or whatsoever ability you need to become the best man or woman to the position.

Adhere to the hyperlinks in the following paragraphs for more information on many MOOC courses. MOOCs can also be accessible by way of a variety of instructional platforms, including Coursera, Udemy, and edX. But MOOCs is often accessed directly via Every single university, and are available through the use of the next Google lookup limiting syntax entered into your google research bar:

internet site:edu MOOC topic

As an example, if I enter web-site:edu MOOC robotics, I get about seven,000 final results, together with this Introduction to Robotics Specialization from Penn Engineering. By making use of this syntax, you'll be able to usually bypass the clearinghouses and obtain just what exactly you're looking for on university sites, even lessons the clearinghouses may not provide.

Joyful MOOCing!

[airoasis]

Daphne Koller: What we're learning from online education

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/daphne-koller-what-were-learning-from-online-education-9/

Daphne Koller: What we're learning from online education

Translator: Morton Bast Reviewer: Thu-Huong Ha Like lots of you, i am one of the vital fortunate individuals. I was once born to a household where education was once pervasive. I am a 3rd-iteration PhD, a daughter of two teachers. In my childhood, I performed round in my father’s college lab. So it was taken for granted that I attend one of the fine universities, which in flip opened the door to an international of possibility. Lamentably, many of the persons on this planet are not so fortunate. In some elements of the world, for instance, South Africa, education will not be without problems available. In South Africa, the academic approach was constructed in the days of apartheid for the white minority. And as a end result, in these days there may be just no longer sufficient spots for the various extra folks who need and deserve a high quality education.That scarcity resulted in a drawback in January of this year on the institution of Johannesburg. There have been a handful of positions left open from the ordinary admissions approach, and the night time before they had been speculated to open that for registration, hundreds and hundreds of persons lined up outside the gate in a line a mile long, hoping to be first in line to get a kind of positions. When the gates opened, there was once a stampede, and 20 people have been injured and one girl died. She was once a mom who gave her life seeking to get her son a risk at a better lifestyles. However even in parts of the world like the us where schooling is available, it could now not be inside attain. There has been a lot discussed in the last few years in regards to the rising cost of wellness care. What would now not be particularly as obvious to humans is that for the period of that same period the cost of greater education training has been increasing at practically twice the price, for a whole of 559 percentage considering that 1985. This makes education unaffordable for many individuals.Eventually, even for individuals who do manage to get the better education, the doorways of opportunity would now not open. Simplest just a little over 1/2 of contemporary school graduates in the U.S. Who get a higher education definitely are working in jobs that require that schooling. This, of course, just isn’t genuine for the pupils who graduate from the highest associations, but for a lot of others, they don’t get the value for his or her time and their effort. Tom Friedman, in his latest ny occasions article, captured, in the best way that no one else would, the spirit at the back of our effort. He stated the colossal breakthroughs are what happen when what’s instantly possible meets what is desperately necessary. I’ve talked about what’s desperately necessary. Let’s speak about what’s immediately feasible. What’s all of a sudden possible was verified by way of three huge Stanford lessons, every of which had an enrollment of a hundred,000 folks or extra.With the intention to realise this, let’s look at one of those classes, the computer learning classification furnished by means of my colleague and cofounder Andrew Ng. Andrew teaches one of the higher Stanford classes. It can be a computing device learning category, and it has four hundred folks enrolled every time it can be furnished. When Andrew taught the computer learning category to most of the people, it had one hundred,000 people registered. To be able to put that quantity in viewpoint, for Andrew to reach that identical size viewers with the aid of teaching a Stanford classification, he would have to do this for 250 years. Of course, he’d get quite bored. So, having seen the have an effect on of this, Andrew and that i made up our minds that we wanted to relatively try to scale this up, to convey the exceptional best education to as many persons as we might. So we shaped Coursera, whose intention is to take the quality guides from the first-rate instructors at the fine universities and provide it to each person around the world without cost.We presently have 43 publications on the platform from four universities across a range of disciplines, and let me show you just a little little bit of an outline of what that looks like. (Video) Robert Ghrist: Welcome to Calculus. Ezekiel Emanuel: Fifty million men and women are uninsured. Scott web page: items support us design more robust institutions and insurance policies. We get fantastic segregation. Scott Klemmer: So Bush imagined that someday, you’ll put on a camera right in the center of your head. Mitchell Duneier: Mills needs the student of sociology to increase the nice of intellect … RG: hanging cable takes on the form of a hyperbolic cosine.Nick Parlante: For every pixel within the photo, set the red to zero. Paul Offit: … Vaccine allowed us to do away with polio virus. Dan Jurafsky: Does Lufthansa serve breakfast and San Jose? Well, that sounds humorous. Daphne Koller: So that is which coin you choose, and that is the 2 tosses. Andrew Ng: So in huge-scale computer learning, we might like to give you computational … (Applause) DK: It turns out, probably not particularly, that scholars like getting the quality content material from the exceptional universities without spending a dime. Considering that we opened the website in February, we’ve 640,000 pupils from one hundred ninety countries. We have now 1.5 million enrollments, 6 million quizzes in the 15 classes that have launched thus far were submitted, and 14 million movies have been viewed. Nevertheless it’s no longer almost the numbers, it is also concerning the individuals. Whether or not it can be Akash, who comes from a small city in India and would in no way have access on this case to a Stanford-fine path and would in no way be ready to find the money for it. Or Jenny, who is a single mother of two and wishes to hone her talents so that she will be able to return and whole her master’s degree. Or Ryan, who are not able to go to school, because his immune poor daughter can not be risked to have germs come into the residence, so he couldn’t go away the house.I’m particularly joyful to claim — recently, we’ve been in correspondence with Ryan — that this story had a joyful ending. Child Shannon — you’ll discover her on the left — is doing a lot better now, and Ryan bought a job via taking a few of our courses. So what made these guides so exceptional? In any case, online course content has been available for a even as. What made it special was that this was once real direction expertise. It started on a given day, and then the students would watch videos on a weekly groundwork and do homework assignments. And these can be actual homework assignments for a real grade, with an actual cut-off date. You will discover the points in time and the usage graph. These are the spikes showing that procrastination is international phenomenon. (Laughter) at the end of the path, the scholars bought a certificate. They might gift that certificates to a prospective enterprise and get a greater job, and we know many pupils who did. Some scholars took their certificate and presented this to an educational college at which they had been enrolled for actual university credit score.So these students have been rather getting something significant for his or her funding of time and effort. Let’s speak a little bit bit about one of the most components that go into these publications. The first aspect is that while you move faraway from the constraints of a bodily school room and design content explicitly for a web based structure, that you could break away from, for illustration, the monolithic one-hour lecture. Which you could spoil up the material, for instance, into these quick, modular units of eight to 12 minutes, each and every of which represents a coherent thought. Pupils can traverse this fabric in one-of-a-kind approaches, relying on their background, their talents or their pursuits. So, for example, some scholars might advantage from a little bit little bit of preparatory material that other scholars might already have. Different pupils probably concerned with a distinct enrichment matter that they need to pursue in my view. So this format makes it possible for us to break free from the one-dimension-fits-all mannequin of schooling, and allows for pupils to follow a way more personalised curriculum.Of course, we all know as educators that scholars do not study by sitting and passively gazing movies. Perhaps one of the vital biggest add-ons of this effort is that we have to have students who apply with the fabric with a view to relatively realise it. There may be been a variety of studies that reveal the value of this. This one that seemed in Science final year, for instance, demonstrates that even simple retrieval follow, where scholars are simply presupposed to repeat what they already learned gives substantially accelerated results on more than a few fulfillment tests down the road than many other academic interventions. We have now tried to construct in retrieval follow into the platform, as well as different forms of practice in many approaches. For illustration, even our videos will not be simply movies. Each couple of minutes, the video pauses and the scholars get requested a question. (Video) SP: … These four things. Prospect concept, hyperbolic discounting, status quo bias, base fee bias. They may be all good documented. So they are all good documented deviations from rational conduct. DK: So here the video pauses, and the pupil varieties within the reply into the box and submits.Absolutely they weren’t paying concentration. (Laughter) in order that they get to try again, and this time they received it proper. There may be an not obligatory explanation if they need. And now the video strikes on to the subsequent part of the lecture. This can be a sort of straightforward query that I as an trainer could ask in class, however once I ask that type of a query at school, eighty percentage of the scholars are still scribbling the last thing I mentioned, 15 percent are zoned out on fb, after which there’s the smarty pants in the entrance row who blurts out the reply earlier than anybody else has had a risk to consider about it, and that i as the teacher am terribly gratified that someone actually knew the reply.And so the lecture moves on earlier than, quite, lots of the students have even noticed that a query had been requested. Right here, each single scholar has to engage with the fabric. And of direction these easy retrieval questions are not the tip of the story. One needs to build in far more meaningful observe questions, and one also needs to provide the scholars with feedback on those questions. Now, how do you grade the work of 100,000 pupils in case you don’t have 10,000 TAs? The answer is, you need to use science to do it for you. Now, fortunately, science has come a long way, and we can now grade a range of interesting varieties of homework.In addition to more than one alternative and the forms of short reply questions that you noticed within the video, we will additionally grade math, mathematical expressions as well as mathematical derivations. We can grade items, whether or not it is economic items in a trade type or physical items in a science or engineering category and we are able to grade some lovely subtle programming assignments. Let me show you one that’s certainly pretty simple however fairly visible. This is from Stanford’s pc Science a hundred and one type, and the students are imagined to colour-proper that blurry pink photograph. They’re typing their program into the browser, and you will discover they did not get it rather right, lady Liberty continues to be seasick. And so, the scholar tries once more, and now they obtained it proper, they usually’re instructed that, and they may be able to transfer on to the next task. This capability to engage actively with the material and be told when you are correct or flawed is relatively main to pupil learning. Now, of course we can’t yet grade the range of labor that one wants for all guides. Primarily, what’s missing is the form of vital considering work that’s so most important in such disciplines because the humanities, the social sciences, business and others.So we tried to persuade, for illustration, a few of our humanities college that multiple alternative was once not one of these dangerous technique. That did not go over rather well. So we had to come up with a further solution. And the solution we ended up using is peer grading. It turns out that earlier experiences show, like this one by way of Saddler and just right, that peer grading is a surprisingly mighty strategy for offering reproducible grades. It was tried best in small classes, but there it confirmed, for instance, that these pupil-assigned grades on the y-axis are clearly very well correlated with the teacher-assigned grade on the x-axis. What’s even more surprising is that self-grades, the place the pupils grade their possess work significantly — so long as you incentivize them appropriately so that they can not give themselves a ideal ranking — are definitely even better correlated with the instructor grades. And so that is an amazing method that can be used for grading at scale, and is also a priceless learning method for the students, on the grounds that they sincerely gain knowledge of from the experience.So we have the most important peer-grading pipeline ever devised, where tens of hundreds of students are grading each different’s work, and particularly effectively, I have got to say. But this isn’t practically pupils sitting alone of their dwelling room working by means of problems. Around each and every one among our guides, a community of scholars had fashioned, a global community of men and women round a shared intellectual endeavor. What you see here is a self-generated map from pupils in our Princeton Sociology one zero one direction, the place they have put themselves on a global map, and that you may fairly see the global attain of this type of effort. Scholars collaborated in these courses in a form of one of a kind ways. First of all, there was once a question and reply forum, where scholars would pose questions, and other pupils would reply these questions. And the really effective factor is, for the reason that there have been so many pupils, it means that although a student posed a question at three o’clock within the morning, somewhere around the world, there would be someone who used to be unsleeping and dealing on the identical problem.And so, in lots of our publications, the median response time for a query on the query and answer forum used to be 22 minutes. Which isn’t a degree of carrier i have ever offered to my Stanford scholars. (Laughter) And you’ll discover from the pupil testimonials that pupils clearly to find that given that of this colossal online group, they bought to interact with every different in lots of methods that have been deeper than they did in the context of the bodily school room.Scholars also self-assembled, with none kind of intervention from us, into small be trained businesses. Some of these were physical study corporations along geographical constraints and met on a weekly foundation to work via quandary sets. This is the San Francisco gain knowledge of crew, however there were ones in every single place the arena. Others had been digital be taught companies, typically alongside language lines or along cultural traces, and on the bottom left there, you see our multicultural universal be trained group where people explicitly desired to attach with folks from different cultures. There are some large possibilities available from this form of framework. The first is that it has the skills of giving us a wholly unheard of appear into figuring out human studying. When you consider that the data that we are able to gather here is certain. That you would be able to collect each click, each homework submission, each forum put up from tens of hundreds of pupils. So that you would be able to turn the be trained of human studying from the hypothesis-pushed mode to the info-driven mode, a metamorphosis that, for instance, has revolutionized biology.You should utilize these data to realize foremost questions like, what are just right finding out techniques which can be amazing versus ones that are not? And in the context of particular courses, which you could ask questions like, what are one of the misconceptions which can be extra normal and the way will we support pupils repair them? So here is an illustration of that, also from Andrew’s machine finding out type. It is a distribution of mistaken answers to one in every of Andrew’s assignments. The answers occur to be pairs of numbers, so that you may draw them on this two-dimensional plot. Each of the little crosses that you just see is an extra wrong reply. The big pass at the high left is the place 2,000 students gave the unique same wrong answer.Now, if two pupils in a category of a hundred give the same wrong answer, you can certainly not become aware of. But when 2,000 scholars give the equal mistaken reply, it is kind of tough to miss. So Andrew and his students went in, looked at a few of those assignments, understood the root cause of the misunderstanding, after which they produced a exact error message that may be offered to each student whose reply fell into that bucket, which means that pupils who made that equal mistake would now get personalised suggestions telling them easy methods to fix their misconception much more with no trouble. So this personalization is some thing that you could then build via having the advantage of tremendous numbers. Personalization is might be one of the vital biggest opportunities here as good, considering it presents us with the skills of fixing a 30-yr-historic drawback. Educational researcher Benjamin Bloom, in 1984, posed what’s called the 2 sigma quandary, which he observed with the aid of learning three populations. The primary is the population that studied in a lecture-centered school room. The 2d is a population of pupils that studied utilizing a standard lecture-based classroom, but with a mastery-headquartered strategy, so the pupils couldn’t move on to the following topic before demonstrating mastery of the prior one.And finally, there used to be a populace of scholars that had been taught in a one-on-one guideline making use of a tutor. The mastery-established populace used to be a full general deviation, or sigma, in success scores higher than the standard lecture-headquartered type, and the person tutoring gives you 2 sigma improvement in performance. To realise what that means, let’s seem at the lecture-situated study room, and let’s choose the median efficiency as a threshold. So in a lecture-centered classification, 1/2 the pupils are above that degree and 1/2 are below. In the character tutoring instruction, ninety eight percent of the pupils are going to be above that threshold. Assume if we could train so that 98 percentage of our pupils could be above typical. For this reason, the two sigma concern.In view that we are not able to have enough money, as a society, to furnish every student with an individual human tutor. However possibly we are able to afford to furnish each and every pupil with a pc or a smartphone. So the query is, how can we use technological know-how to push from the left side of the graph, from the blue curve, to the right side with the green curve? Mastery is handy to obtain utilizing a pc, considering a pc does not get tired of showing you the identical video 5 occasions. And it does not even get worn out of grading the equal work a couple of instances, we now have noticeable that in some of the examples that I’ve proven you.And even personalization is some thing that we’re establishing to see the beginnings of, whether or not it is through the personalised trajectory through the curriculum or one of the vital personalised feedback that we’ve proven you. So the purpose right here is to take a look at and push, and see how a ways we can get toward the golf green curve. So, if this is the case first-class, are universities now out of date? Good, Mark Twain certainly proposal so. He mentioned that, "university is a location the place a professor’s lecture notes go straight to the scholars’ lecture notes, with out passing through the brains of either." (Laughter) i encourage to vary with Mark Twain, though.I consider what he used to be complaining about is just not universities but as a substitute the lecture-established format that so many universities spend so much time on. So let’s go back even additional, to Plutarch, who stated that, "The intellect isn’t a vessel that wants filling, but wood that wants igniting." And maybe we should spend much less time at universities filling our students’ minds with content by lecturing at them, and extra time igniting their creativity, their imagination and their challenge-solving advantage through definitely talking with them. So how do we do that? We do this by means of doing energetic studying in the study room. So there’s been many stories, including this one, that exhibit that should you use lively studying, interacting along with your students in the study room, efficiency improves on each single metric — on attendance, on engagement and on finding out as measured through a standardized test. You will see that, for example, that the achievement ranking almost doubles on this distinctive experiment. So perhaps that is how we must spend our time at universities.So to summarize, if we could present a high nice education to every person world wide for free, what would that do? Three matters. First it will establish education as a essential human right, where someone around the world with the capacity and the inducement would get the skills that they must make a greater life for themselves, their households and their communities.Second, it could allow lifelong learning. It’s a disgrace that for so many folks, learning stops once we conclude excessive institution or after we finish school. By using having this amazing content material be to be had, we’d be in a position to learn some thing new every time we desired, whether it’s simply to increase our minds or it’s to change our lives. And ultimately, this might permit a wave of innovation, when you consider that potent ability may also be determined wherever. Maybe the following Albert Einstein or the subsequent Steve Jobs is dwelling somewhere in a far flung village in Africa.And if we would present that person an schooling, they’d be in a position to come up with the following colossal idea and make the sector a better place for all people. Thank you very a lot. (Applause) .

[batterymonster2021]

Daphne Koller: What we're learning from online education

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/daphne-koller-what-were-learning-from-online-education-9/

Daphne Koller: What we're learning from online education

Translator: Morton Bast Reviewer: Thu-Huong Ha Like lots of you, i am one of the vital fortunate individuals. I was once born to a household where education was once pervasive. I am a 3rd-iteration PhD, a daughter of two teachers. In my childhood, I performed round in my father’s college lab. So it was taken for granted that I attend one of the fine universities, which in flip opened the door to an international of possibility. Lamentably, many of the persons on this planet are not so fortunate. In some elements of the world, for instance, South Africa, education will not be without problems available. In South Africa, the academic approach was constructed in the days of apartheid for the white minority. And as a end result, in these days there may be just no longer sufficient spots for the various extra folks who need and deserve a high quality education.That scarcity resulted in a drawback in January of this year on the institution of Johannesburg. There have been a handful of positions left open from the ordinary admissions approach, and the night time before they had been speculated to open that for registration, hundreds and hundreds of persons lined up outside the gate in a line a mile long, hoping to be first in line to get a kind of positions. When the gates opened, there was once a stampede, and 20 people have been injured and one girl died. She was once a mom who gave her life seeking to get her son a risk at a better lifestyles. However even in parts of the world like the us where schooling is available, it could now not be inside attain. There has been a lot discussed in the last few years in regards to the rising cost of wellness care. What would now not be particularly as obvious to humans is that for the period of that same period the cost of greater education training has been increasing at practically twice the price, for a whole of 559 percentage considering that 1985. This makes education unaffordable for many individuals.Eventually, even for individuals who do manage to get the better education, the doorways of opportunity would now not open. Simplest just a little over 1/2 of contemporary school graduates in the U.S. Who get a higher education definitely are working in jobs that require that schooling. This, of course, just isn’t genuine for the pupils who graduate from the highest associations, but for a lot of others, they don’t get the value for his or her time and their effort. Tom Friedman, in his latest ny occasions article, captured, in the best way that no one else would, the spirit at the back of our effort. He stated the colossal breakthroughs are what happen when what’s instantly possible meets what is desperately necessary. I’ve talked about what’s desperately necessary. Let’s speak about what’s immediately feasible. What’s all of a sudden possible was verified by way of three huge Stanford lessons, every of which had an enrollment of a hundred,000 folks or extra.With the intention to realise this, let’s look at one of those classes, the computer learning classification furnished by means of my colleague and cofounder Andrew Ng. Andrew teaches one of the higher Stanford classes. It can be a computing device learning category, and it has four hundred folks enrolled every time it can be furnished. When Andrew taught the computer learning category to most of the people, it had one hundred,000 people registered. To be able to put that quantity in viewpoint, for Andrew to reach that identical size viewers with the aid of teaching a Stanford classification, he would have to do this for 250 years. Of course, he’d get quite bored. So, having seen the have an effect on of this, Andrew and that i made up our minds that we wanted to relatively try to scale this up, to convey the exceptional best education to as many persons as we might. So we shaped Coursera, whose intention is to take the quality guides from the first-rate instructors at the fine universities and provide it to each person around the world without cost.We presently have 43 publications on the platform from four universities across a range of disciplines, and let me show you just a little little bit of an outline of what that looks like. (Video) Robert Ghrist: Welcome to Calculus. Ezekiel Emanuel: Fifty million men and women are uninsured. Scott web page: items support us design more robust institutions and insurance policies. We get fantastic segregation. Scott Klemmer: So Bush imagined that someday, you’ll put on a camera right in the center of your head. Mitchell Duneier: Mills needs the student of sociology to increase the nice of intellect … RG: hanging cable takes on the form of a hyperbolic cosine.Nick Parlante: For every pixel within the photo, set the red to zero. Paul Offit: … Vaccine allowed us to do away with polio virus. Dan Jurafsky: Does Lufthansa serve breakfast and San Jose? Well, that sounds humorous. Daphne Koller: So that is which coin you choose, and that is the 2 tosses. Andrew Ng: So in huge-scale computer learning, we might like to give you computational … (Applause) DK: It turns out, probably not particularly, that scholars like getting the quality content material from the exceptional universities without spending a dime. Considering that we opened the website in February, we’ve 640,000 pupils from one hundred ninety countries. We have now 1.5 million enrollments, 6 million quizzes in the 15 classes that have launched thus far were submitted, and 14 million movies have been viewed. Nevertheless it’s no longer almost the numbers, it is also concerning the individuals. Whether or not it can be Akash, who comes from a small city in India and would in no way have access on this case to a Stanford-fine path and would in no way be ready to find the money for it. Or Jenny, who is a single mother of two and wishes to hone her talents so that she will be able to return and whole her master’s degree. Or Ryan, who are not able to go to school, because his immune poor daughter can not be risked to have germs come into the residence, so he couldn’t go away the house.I’m particularly joyful to claim — recently, we’ve been in correspondence with Ryan — that this story had a joyful ending. Child Shannon — you’ll discover her on the left — is doing a lot better now, and Ryan bought a job via taking a few of our courses. So what made these guides so exceptional? In any case, online course content has been available for a even as. What made it special was that this was once real direction expertise. It started on a given day, and then the students would watch videos on a weekly groundwork and do homework assignments. And these can be actual homework assignments for a real grade, with an actual cut-off date. You will discover the points in time and the usage graph. These are the spikes showing that procrastination is international phenomenon. (Laughter) at the end of the path, the scholars bought a certificate. They might gift that certificates to a prospective enterprise and get a greater job, and we know many pupils who did. Some scholars took their certificate and presented this to an educational college at which they had been enrolled for actual university credit score.So these students have been rather getting something significant for his or her funding of time and effort. Let’s speak a little bit bit about one of the most components that go into these publications. The first aspect is that while you move faraway from the constraints of a bodily school room and design content explicitly for a web based structure, that you could break away from, for illustration, the monolithic one-hour lecture. Which you could spoil up the material, for instance, into these quick, modular units of eight to 12 minutes, each and every of which represents a coherent thought. Pupils can traverse this fabric in one-of-a-kind approaches, relying on their background, their talents or their pursuits. So, for example, some scholars might advantage from a little bit little bit of preparatory material that other scholars might already have. Different pupils probably concerned with a distinct enrichment matter that they need to pursue in my view. So this format makes it possible for us to break free from the one-dimension-fits-all mannequin of schooling, and allows for pupils to follow a way more personalised curriculum.Of course, we all know as educators that scholars do not study by sitting and passively gazing movies. Perhaps one of the vital biggest add-ons of this effort is that we have to have students who apply with the fabric with a view to relatively realise it. There may be been a variety of studies that reveal the value of this. This one that seemed in Science final year, for instance, demonstrates that even simple retrieval follow, where scholars are simply presupposed to repeat what they already learned gives substantially accelerated results on more than a few fulfillment tests down the road than many other academic interventions. We have now tried to construct in retrieval follow into the platform, as well as different forms of practice in many approaches. For illustration, even our videos will not be simply movies. Each couple of minutes, the video pauses and the scholars get requested a question. (Video) SP: … These four things. Prospect concept, hyperbolic discounting, status quo bias, base fee bias. They may be all good documented. So they are all good documented deviations from rational conduct. DK: So here the video pauses, and the pupil varieties within the reply into the box and submits.Absolutely they weren’t paying concentration. (Laughter) in order that they get to try again, and this time they received it proper. There may be an not obligatory explanation if they need. And now the video strikes on to the subsequent part of the lecture. This can be a sort of straightforward query that I as an trainer could ask in class, however once I ask that type of a query at school, eighty percentage of the scholars are still scribbling the last thing I mentioned, 15 percent are zoned out on fb, after which there’s the smarty pants in the entrance row who blurts out the reply earlier than anybody else has had a risk to consider about it, and that i as the teacher am terribly gratified that someone actually knew the reply.And so the lecture moves on earlier than, quite, lots of the students have even noticed that a query had been requested. Right here, each single scholar has to engage with the fabric. And of direction these easy retrieval questions are not the tip of the story. One needs to build in far more meaningful observe questions, and one also needs to provide the scholars with feedback on those questions. Now, how do you grade the work of 100,000 pupils in case you don’t have 10,000 TAs? The answer is, you need to use science to do it for you. Now, fortunately, science has come a long way, and we can now grade a range of interesting varieties of homework.In addition to more than one alternative and the forms of short reply questions that you noticed within the video, we will additionally grade math, mathematical expressions as well as mathematical derivations. We can grade items, whether or not it is economic items in a trade type or physical items in a science or engineering category and we are able to grade some lovely subtle programming assignments. Let me show you one that’s certainly pretty simple however fairly visible. This is from Stanford’s pc Science a hundred and one type, and the students are imagined to colour-proper that blurry pink photograph. They’re typing their program into the browser, and you will discover they did not get it rather right, lady Liberty continues to be seasick. And so, the scholar tries once more, and now they obtained it proper, they usually’re instructed that, and they may be able to transfer on to the next task. This capability to engage actively with the material and be told when you are correct or flawed is relatively main to pupil learning. Now, of course we can’t yet grade the range of labor that one wants for all guides. Primarily, what’s missing is the form of vital considering work that’s so most important in such disciplines because the humanities, the social sciences, business and others.So we tried to persuade, for illustration, a few of our humanities college that multiple alternative was once not one of these dangerous technique. That did not go over rather well. So we had to come up with a further solution. And the solution we ended up using is peer grading. It turns out that earlier experiences show, like this one by way of Saddler and just right, that peer grading is a surprisingly mighty strategy for offering reproducible grades. It was tried best in small classes, but there it confirmed, for instance, that these pupil-assigned grades on the y-axis are clearly very well correlated with the teacher-assigned grade on the x-axis. What’s even more surprising is that self-grades, the place the pupils grade their possess work significantly — so long as you incentivize them appropriately so that they can not give themselves a ideal ranking — are definitely even better correlated with the instructor grades. And so that is an amazing method that can be used for grading at scale, and is also a priceless learning method for the students, on the grounds that they sincerely gain knowledge of from the experience.So we have the most important peer-grading pipeline ever devised, where tens of hundreds of students are grading each different’s work, and particularly effectively, I have got to say. But this isn’t practically pupils sitting alone of their dwelling room working by means of problems. Around each and every one among our guides, a community of scholars had fashioned, a global community of men and women round a shared intellectual endeavor. What you see here is a self-generated map from pupils in our Princeton Sociology one zero one direction, the place they have put themselves on a global map, and that you may fairly see the global attain of this type of effort. Scholars collaborated in these courses in a form of one of a kind ways. First of all, there was once a question and reply forum, where scholars would pose questions, and other pupils would reply these questions. And the really effective factor is, for the reason that there have been so many pupils, it means that although a student posed a question at three o’clock within the morning, somewhere around the world, there would be someone who used to be unsleeping and dealing on the identical problem.And so, in lots of our publications, the median response time for a query on the query and answer forum used to be 22 minutes. Which isn’t a degree of carrier i have ever offered to my Stanford scholars. (Laughter) And you’ll discover from the pupil testimonials that pupils clearly to find that given that of this colossal online group, they bought to interact with every different in lots of methods that have been deeper than they did in the context of the bodily school room.Scholars also self-assembled, with none kind of intervention from us, into small be trained businesses. Some of these were physical study corporations along geographical constraints and met on a weekly foundation to work via quandary sets. This is the San Francisco gain knowledge of crew, however there were ones in every single place the arena. Others had been digital be taught companies, typically alongside language lines or along cultural traces, and on the bottom left there, you see our multicultural universal be trained group where people explicitly desired to attach with folks from different cultures. There are some large possibilities available from this form of framework. The first is that it has the skills of giving us a wholly unheard of appear into figuring out human studying. When you consider that the data that we are able to gather here is certain. That you would be able to collect each click, each homework submission, each forum put up from tens of hundreds of pupils. So that you would be able to turn the be trained of human studying from the hypothesis-pushed mode to the info-driven mode, a metamorphosis that, for instance, has revolutionized biology.You should utilize these data to realize foremost questions like, what are just right finding out techniques which can be amazing versus ones that are not? And in the context of particular courses, which you could ask questions like, what are one of the misconceptions which can be extra normal and the way will we support pupils repair them? So here is an illustration of that, also from Andrew’s machine finding out type. It is a distribution of mistaken answers to one in every of Andrew’s assignments. The answers occur to be pairs of numbers, so that you may draw them on this two-dimensional plot. Each of the little crosses that you just see is an extra wrong reply. The big pass at the high left is the place 2,000 students gave the unique same wrong answer.Now, if two pupils in a category of a hundred give the same wrong answer, you can certainly not become aware of. But when 2,000 scholars give the equal mistaken reply, it is kind of tough to miss. So Andrew and his students went in, looked at a few of those assignments, understood the root cause of the misunderstanding, after which they produced a exact error message that may be offered to each student whose reply fell into that bucket, which means that pupils who made that equal mistake would now get personalised suggestions telling them easy methods to fix their misconception much more with no trouble. So this personalization is some thing that you could then build via having the advantage of tremendous numbers. Personalization is might be one of the vital biggest opportunities here as good, considering it presents us with the skills of fixing a 30-yr-historic drawback. Educational researcher Benjamin Bloom, in 1984, posed what’s called the 2 sigma quandary, which he observed with the aid of learning three populations. The primary is the population that studied in a lecture-centered school room. The 2d is a population of pupils that studied utilizing a standard lecture-based classroom, but with a mastery-headquartered strategy, so the pupils couldn’t move on to the following topic before demonstrating mastery of the prior one.And finally, there used to be a populace of scholars that had been taught in a one-on-one guideline making use of a tutor. The mastery-established populace used to be a full general deviation, or sigma, in success scores higher than the standard lecture-headquartered type, and the person tutoring gives you 2 sigma improvement in performance. To realise what that means, let’s seem at the lecture-situated study room, and let’s choose the median efficiency as a threshold. So in a lecture-centered classification, 1/2 the pupils are above that degree and 1/2 are below. In the character tutoring instruction, ninety eight percent of the pupils are going to be above that threshold. Assume if we could train so that 98 percentage of our pupils could be above typical. For this reason, the two sigma concern.In view that we are not able to have enough money, as a society, to furnish every student with an individual human tutor. However possibly we are able to afford to furnish each and every pupil with a pc or a smartphone. So the query is, how can we use technological know-how to push from the left side of the graph, from the blue curve, to the right side with the green curve? Mastery is handy to obtain utilizing a pc, considering a pc does not get tired of showing you the identical video 5 occasions. And it does not even get worn out of grading the equal work a couple of instances, we now have noticeable that in some of the examples that I’ve proven you.And even personalization is some thing that we’re establishing to see the beginnings of, whether or not it is through the personalised trajectory through the curriculum or one of the vital personalised feedback that we’ve proven you. So the purpose right here is to take a look at and push, and see how a ways we can get toward the golf green curve. So, if this is the case first-class, are universities now out of date? Good, Mark Twain certainly proposal so. He mentioned that, "university is a location the place a professor’s lecture notes go straight to the scholars’ lecture notes, with out passing through the brains of either." (Laughter) i encourage to vary with Mark Twain, though.I consider what he used to be complaining about is just not universities but as a substitute the lecture-established format that so many universities spend so much time on. So let’s go back even additional, to Plutarch, who stated that, "The intellect isn’t a vessel that wants filling, but wood that wants igniting." And maybe we should spend much less time at universities filling our students’ minds with content by lecturing at them, and extra time igniting their creativity, their imagination and their challenge-solving advantage through definitely talking with them. So how do we do that? We do this by means of doing energetic studying in the study room. So there’s been many stories, including this one, that exhibit that should you use lively studying, interacting along with your students in the study room, efficiency improves on each single metric — on attendance, on engagement and on finding out as measured through a standardized test. You will see that, for example, that the achievement ranking almost doubles on this distinctive experiment. So perhaps that is how we must spend our time at universities.So to summarize, if we could present a high nice education to every person world wide for free, what would that do? Three matters. First it will establish education as a essential human right, where someone around the world with the capacity and the inducement would get the skills that they must make a greater life for themselves, their households and their communities.Second, it could allow lifelong learning. It’s a disgrace that for so many folks, learning stops once we conclude excessive institution or after we finish school. By using having this amazing content material be to be had, we’d be in a position to learn some thing new every time we desired, whether it’s simply to increase our minds or it’s to change our lives. And ultimately, this might permit a wave of innovation, when you consider that potent ability may also be determined wherever. Maybe the following Albert Einstein or the subsequent Steve Jobs is dwelling somewhere in a far flung village in Africa.And if we would present that person an schooling, they’d be in a position to come up with the following colossal idea and make the sector a better place for all people. Thank you very a lot. (Applause) .

[ambitiouslyamanda-blog]

TEN THINGS I LEARNED IN MY FIRST YEAR OF UNIVERSITY — 05.07.17

First year of university was…wild, to say the least. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a senior in high school struggling to grasp an expectation on what post-secondary will be like, shaking in your scared, bewildered little boots. Have no fear; I am about to disclose to you everything you need to know about your first year of university, from the workload to parties to relationships and beyond. If you’d like to know the ten important lessons I learned in my first year of university, read on!

1. Being away from home for the first time is simultaneously awesome and awful.

If you’re moving into a dorm first year like I did, or are simply moving out into an apartment to go to school, be wary that being away from home has its up’s and it’s downs. While the positives include no rules, curfews, or groundings; going wherever you want, whenever you want; and basically, taking your new city by storm with only you in charge, going away from home for your first time also introduces many new responsibilities you haven’t encountered yet, like paying bills, cooking your own meals, and for some, doing your own laundry. First year, I loved my newfound freedom, but learned rather quickly that it’s necessary balance it with grace and care, making sure the most important things like schoolwork and bills were taken care of before I went out to the bar that night.

2. If you’re moving away to university, you will miss your family and shitty small town.

Homesickness is something that happens to everyone who goes to post-secondary, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. Even I thought I wouldn’t miss the minuscule small town I previously lived in for 6 years and would be perfectly fine without my parents, and I ended up taking the train home the first weekend because I missed them so bad! Truth is, you will miss your parents, siblings, friends, and extended family a lot, especially if you’re travelling too far to visit on weekends and study breaks, so make sure to keep in touch by calling an texting them. Your mom may be hundreds of kilometers across the province, but her sweet, soothing voice is just a ten-digit phone number away.

3. Making friends is much easier than you expect it to be.

When I went away to university, I only knew two people; my roommate, who was my stage manager/good friend in high school, and another girl I went to secondary school with. Safe to say, I was terrified of not being able to make friends due to my obnoxious nature and that I would spend my first year cooped up in my dorm, lonely and bitter. Luckily, this didn’t happen; in fact, I made friends my first day of being at university. I lived on residence, which was the greatest aid to meeting and connecting with people; and to be honest, my residence floor felt like a family to me, and I miss them all tons! I got to meet loads of people during frosh week by doing events and just mingling through my res building, and my academic orientation was also a tremendous help in connecting with people in my program. I know some frosh events and orientations are absolutely abysmal and super lame, but many of the people I was grouped with or had spoken to during these events are still in my life today, either as acquaintances or best friends.

I also want to emphasize that even if you don’t live on res, you can absolutely make friends through your program, campus groups and events, at the gym, or even through study groups. Just do the things you like to do, and you will find someone to connect with.

4. Frat parties are overrated (but good places for booze!)

I’m going to say it – frat parties are kind of  lame and you should not feel obligated to go, even if  all your friends are attending. My rule of thumb is if you have to pay to get into a party, it’s probably not going to be very fun (though there will be ‘free’ booze, so it’s really a balancing act of the pros and cons). Drunk people are obnoxious and impulsive, so visiting parties or going out to crowded bars can easily place you in uncomfortable situations. Be wary of where you’re going, don’t put your drink down out of sight, and always go with another person.

Oh, and please, do not chug your alcohol. You will fucking die if you do.

5. Your schoolwork comes first, and said schoolwork will kick your ass.

University is a social butterfly’s dream, but remember why you’re there to begin with. You need to get your degree, and to do that, you must pass your courses, which requires attending classes and studying your ass off. The jump in workload from high school to university is huge, and preparing yourself for it is important. First year is often considered among upper years to be the easiest out of your four year degree, so take this time to get the best grades you can to improve your GPA in case you bomb a class later in your university career. Studying and finishing up work takes a lot of time, so make sure you plan ahead so you don’t fall behind. If you are overwhelmed with your projects and exams, it’s important to take a step back, breathe, and ask for help if you’re really struggling. Remember – you can retake a class if need be.

6. Professors can either be your best allies or your greatest enemies.

Your teachers in high school probably told you, “your professors aren’t going to baby you like this in university!”, and they’re right. Your professors aren’t going to nag you to hand in your assignments or attend class; they get paid whether you do or you don’t. But most professors do care; and some will undeniably help you get a better grade in their class. Using office hours was something I wish I did more during first year because I absolutely could have used some help when writing essays or studying for exams. A professor is often more than happy to help you improve or send you in the right direction, so don’t be afraid to email them or speak to them after class to schedule an appointment. However, some professors — often the one’s who have to teach hundreds of kids per class — won’t be as helpful. In fact, they can be the least helpful people around, whether it’s treating you like an idiot or being as vague as humanly possible. Feel free to contact TA’s instead of your moody prof for better clarifications.

7. You probably shouldn’t be working a part time job during first year.

Unless you need to do so to pay your bills, I don’t recommend getting a job first year, mostly because your stress levels will be through the roof. If you end up having a steady handle on your school work after your first midterms and have garnered an idea of what your program expects, you can find a weekend job to get some extra cash, but I personally think first year should be about having fun and getting good grades.

8. Drinking and drug use are normalized as all hell in university.

If you were like me and barely drank throughout high school, you will be intrigued to find out that a good 90% of people you meet in university either drink a ton of alcohol or smoke a staggering amount of weed. Sometimes both. While I am someone who drinks probably once a week now, it is important to be open to trying new things but also be safe about it. So no, I’m not telling you to go inject yourself with heroin; I’m saying trying a beer or taking a shot of tequila is perfectly fine. I know most who go into their first year aren’t legal until second semester (in Canada), but I don’t really feel like telling you not to drink because in the end, you’re gonna do whatever the hell you want. Know your limits and again, be aware of your surroundings to ensure your safety.

9.  Finding a relationship should not be a priority!

For some reason, I had envisioned myself meeting the perfect guy first year who would date me and make me ‘happy’ as we traversed coffee shops and listened to avant garde albums together. Safe to say, I was slightly disappointed when that didn’t happen. I want to stress that finding a significant other should not be on your priority list first year (or at any time, really) because you already have so much to focus on. Relationships are sometimes hard, and require a lot of work and energy, which often, you don’t have to spare during the tribulations of freshman year. You have your whole life to fall in love; patience is a virtue.

10. Your health is much more important than school ever will be.

As someone who almost collapsed under the stress and anxiety university brought me, I stand behind the point that before anything else, you need to take care of yourself. Yes, schoolwork is important and social events are fun, but if you’re feeling like you constantly have a weight on your chest or a panic attack every two days, it is important to step back from the stress and get help. Post secondary institutions have mental health initiatives often free for students that include solo, group, or single counselling sessions, along with other things, like stress relieving yoga classes or help lines to call if you’re uncomfortable with professional therapy. If you’re someone privy to catching colds or sicknesses, make sure to let your professors know through emails and academic consideration papers so that you can stay home and rest should you contract something nasty. As someone who wrote three of her exams through bleary eyes, a fever of 101 degrees, no voice, and a nose stuffed to the extreme, I can vouch for the importance of physically taking care of yourself. Indulge in a bath, drink some tea, take a nap, put a face mask on, or even go for a walk — any of these self care practices are important in recharging from the perils of studying and socializing.

There are tons more things I could have disclosed in this article, but these 10 points were the most important for me to state. University is an incredible experience for me so far — and I hope it will be for you as well.

Ambitiously,

Amanda

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[nct-thedreamchaser]

Falling In Love Again [Part 1]

Words: 2320 

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Light Angst

Pairing: Jeno x Reader 

Request: Omg hello I’m from SG too hehe, I assume you have your O’s/ N’s this year? Good luck! 💕 Meanwhile, could I request for a Jeno scenario where he has a crush on a dance senior in SOPA? thank you 😙

A/N: Wew! After such a long time, I am finally going to upload the first part of my Jeno fanfiction! With the length and progress of the story, I assume that this is going to be at least 2 to 3 parts long! There was not really any specification of genre but considering that it has to do with a crush, the genres stated above were probably the most common? Nevertheless, I hope you guys would enjoy this one as much as I loved writing it! :) Once again, thank you for requesting! :) The request box is still open, but you guys would have to wait a little while longer as I have 2 more fanfictions in queue now! The rules can be found HERE and happy requesting! ^^

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The day started off on an extremely boring note. In the morning, there was Advanced Math and Chemistry, back-to-back, and they were also known as the two subjects that I did not like at all. Despite the fact that I was actually good at it (I don’t know how either), I just had no interest. Strangely, for some reason, the only subject that I actually liked was English and Geography, simply because it was a breeze for me.

Furthermore, my best friend was Mark Lee Minhyung, who had grown up in the United States. Technically, he was a year older than the entire class. However, because his father had relocated to Seoul and he was born in the second half of the year, he had to join a grade lower. He was a pure, simple and very loving hyung who loved to teach me English and Geography, which explained why I loved those subjects. As a repayment, I would teach him Advanced Math and Korean to the best of my ability.

Now, my name is Lee Jeno and I was a student at the Seoul School of Performing Arts, or also known as SOPA. It was easier to say that we were the one of the richest and most prestigious schools in the nation. Furthermore, I had an immense passion for arts, especially in street and hip-hop dancing. Sure, my parents were not the best of supporters, but I worked hard for the scholarship, and eventually enrolled into the school through my talent and academic grades combined.

We were just like any other ordinary school, except the fact that we tended to graduate with diplomas of our various art forms, on top of our academic grades. Yes, we took the CSATs, or also known as the College Entrance Exams. However, the only thing different about it was that we took our art form as an additional subject. Hence, it was definitely more difficult because we had to juggle both our passions and our school work, which could render us being in school from as early as 8am, all the way to 11pm.

Luckily, all of us had an immense passion for the arts, which helped us to encourage one another and made sure that none of us fell behind in our classes. In other words, the school was not just filled with groups of the various forms; we were one family.

One that helped me in particular was a senior named Y/N. Okay, she was not really a senior because we were of the same age, but she was born in the first half of the year which rendered her joining one grade higher than me. She, too, joined the same art form, except that she was majoring in Contemporary dance and it was something that I could never do. Till this day, contemporary dance never failed to amaze me, especially with how much grace and flair they had when they pulled off the dance moves on the floor flawlessly.

It all started simply because she lived in the same neighbourhood and I had always taken notice of her. Why? That was because she was always at the porch either listening to music or painting on a canvas sheet. From far, she was a talented artist too and could paint all sorts, from people to cities to scenic landscapes. It was mind boggling to how she could do so much.

However, that was what made me so attracted to her in the first place. She was young, but she was beautiful and a mere wisp of a girl. Her skin was slightly tanned but smooth, her hair wavy and her eyes were dark brown in colour. Ever since then, there were times when she looked in my direction and smiled, only to realise that I would actually go to the extent of choosing to study at the porch whenever she was there.

One day, I decided that I was going to muster the courage to talk and say hello. To my surprise, she welcomed me with open arms and was a chatterbox, unlike me. That was definitely a relief as it helped to fill the gaps in our conversations since I was not much of a talker. Over time, she began to tell me more about herself and slowly but surely, I did the same, only to realise that we had similar interests. No, it was not just dance which brought us together, but video games and the love of tag. Hence, we found ourselves going to each other’s houses to battle it out with a console during the holidays, or running in the wide open spaces from dawn to dusk. As I got to know her more, the more I had begun to fall for her.

Soon, we grew up to become teenagers and she only became even prettier, and was probably one of the girls who had a long line of boys chasing after her, to my dismay. No matter how hard I tried, she saw me as a best friend and nothing more. We were not in the same class or level, but we never failed to make it a point that we go to school and have lunch when we had a common break. Therefore, our bond still had the chance of becoming more tight knit than ever before.

Unfortunately, this was the time when she had managed to get a boyfriend by the name of Lee Taemin, a senior in the dance major as well, and he was none other than one of my biggest rivals. Obviously, I was crushed at the news and what made it even more painful was the fact that she seemed to forget I existed. Whenever I called, it always ended up with a, “Hey Jeno! Sorry, I can’t—-” and the typical reasons just seemed to surround Taemin. He was not the man for her, and I tried to tell her, but she remained stubborn and instead thought that I was jealous, which strained our friendship at times.

However, Taemin could only hide his true colours for ever and soon, he was seen to be flirting with other girls during our breaks in between dance practices. It was only then when fate decided that it was enough for her, and she indeed walked in to see who he really was. At that point, he was holding onto another girl in his arms and kissed her passionately. This angered her beyond words and it only resulted in him getting pulled out and becoming involved in a very heated and aggressive argument with her. I wanted to step in as the argument went on, but Jaemin had said that it would be of no use because it was not my place.

I was merely a pillar of support and was obliged to be happy for her and support her through the way, no matter how crazy, dangerous or heartbreaking it might be. There were many times when I had wanted to stop her but Jaemin always prevented me from doing so, giving the look of disapproval all the time. He always had a philosophy and one of it was so that she knew a little bit more about Taemin on her own, because it was her judgement by her own right. I never had a part to play, and hence, Jaemin only recommended that I continue being her shoulder to cry on.

It was lunch time now and it was every student’s favourite period. The food was always good and it never failed to impress, but I soon got bored eventually and resorted to home cooked food. Every morning, I would wake up to aid my mum in preparing my lunchbox for school and honestly, it was way more delicious, especially with the fact that I had a chance to make my own lunch. I was also the student who preferred to avoid the crowd, hence, I would head over to the field and sit at the benches under the trees to enjoy the tranquility of nature and the peace and quiet it offered.

However, there she sat, and her eyes were obviously red and puffy from crying. She had a whole travel packet of tissue and it was probably easier to count by the dozens when it came to the tissues used. She looked into the horizon as she hugged her knees and it was heartbreaking to see her that way. Y/N was probably the most confident girl that I had ever known, but now, she looked vulnerable, lost and extremely heartbroken.

Then, I took a seat next to her and called out her name, but it only resulted into another possible cycle of crying all over again and it was obvious how her eyes welled up all over again. I did not know what to do at that point, so I placed an arm around her and rubbed small circles into her back. My heart was palpitating against my chest now, but that was not something that I could show now.

“What happened?” I asked curiously, even if I knew what it was about.

“That jerk,” Y/N replied in between sobs, “He cheated on me, and yet, he blamed me for being annoying and that I should not be bothered with his personal life. In fact, he just announced to the cafeteria that his love for me was fake. It was just a stupid bet that he had made with Kim Kibum and if he succeeded, he would get 500,000won. I’m such an idiot!”

At that point, I was beyond shocked and I was way more than angry. “Angry” was probably an understatement, but then again, I felt bad for the fact that it was partially her fault for not listening to us sooner. Unfortunately, when I brought that up in a somewhat teasing manner in hopes of lighting up the mood, I was only shot down with her staring daggers into my soul and a hard hit on my shoulder, causing me to wince in pain.

There was no other form of comfort, so the only thing I could think of was to keep silent for now. She continued to cry and my sleeves were soon drenched with her tears. Seeing her like this caused my heart to tear, but all I could do was to hold her tight; words would never work once again. She was stubborn, and I knew better than to push a stubborn person out of her own thoughts and feelings.

Therefore, I resorted to actions, especially with the realisation that my lunch break was almost over. I attempted to give her my food, but she only shook her head and said that she had no appetite to eat. So I gave her my handkerchief. Her tissues were running low and knowing her, she was probably going to cry for the rest of the day. She looked at it at first, confused as to why I was giving it to her, and I decided to kneel in front of her to dab the remaining tears from her cheeks. She looked at me with tears still in her eyes and I only smiled a reassuring smile, telling her that everything will be alright.

Soon, the bell rang and I knew that was my cue to go. I wanted to drag her but before I could do that, she said, “I’m not going for any other lessons today. I can’t, especially when Taemin and I are in one of the same classes together.”

I nodded in understanding and gave her a warm embrace, before grabbing my lunch box and headed back to the classroom blocks.

“Jeno-yah!! What do I do with your handkerchief, don’t you need it?”

“Nope. In fact, I think you would need it more than I do. Keep it, and return it to me when things get better alright? Please go home and get plenty of rest. I’ll fill you in for today.” I said with a smile, and waved her goodbye as she headed in the opposite direction to the administration office. I could tell that she was trying her best to hold it in, but reciprocated my gesture anyway.

At that moment, I got a text message and opened it, only to realise that it was a message from Y/N. It read:

Thanks Jeno-yah. You really are one of the most genuine and comforting juniors that I have ever met. Sorry I did not say much today and did not have the energy to say thank you. But really though, thanks for the company today. I don’t say this enough, but I am so grateful to have you as a friend. Good luck for the rest of the day.

I smiled when I read the text, but a bitter feeling crept up in my heart when I saw the words “junior” and “friend”. That was simply because it meant that my love was not going to be reciprocated at all. Nevertheless, I decided to plan something special for her to cheer her up; a movie, ice cream and a walk along the Hangang River because it was all the things she loved to do when she was stressed, upset or just needed to find some peace of mind.

It was only right I do so, I felt. She had always been there for me, in the toughest of times when I was alone, scared and she stood up for me when I was bullied for my amateur dancing skills and mocked for the fact that I was only accepted because of my good grades. She was there to be my strength, a shoulder to cry on and the pillar of support and encouragement that I always needed. Without her, I doubt I would have made it so far.

Now, it was my turn to do the same.

[hereticsrpg-blog1]

age: 28 years old gender: cis female, she/her hometown: Birmingham, Alabama occupation: therapist allegiance: Children of the Light

it wasn’t that she spent her entire childhood trying to get out of Birmingham, it was just that she knew she was destined for greater things than her parents’ working class struggles. her mother came home from long days at the dry cleaner’s, hands chaffed and feet swollen, and her father’s long hours working construction meant he was either not home or asleep on the couch at any given point in time. Imogen was a smart girl, almost as smart as her mother, who was studying for her nursing degree at night, almost as smart as her father, who had completed a degree in architectural engineering before realizing how hard it would be to find a job. she admired her parents, she wouldn’t for a second say that she didn’t or tolerate anyone who put down their hard work, their determination, the sacrifices they had made and the lengths they had gone to in order to build this family and give her the life she deserved. but the one thing she had that her parents didn’t have was her almost unhealthy drive to succeed. it pulsed behind her skin like a second heart, pushing her through every challenge; she met every obstacle head-on and worked and worked until she found a way around it. she excelled in school, academically, and left Birmingham behind at seventeen for an undergraduate degree from Columbia and a graduate degree in psychology from Yale that would keep her going for the next ten years of her life.

just a few days before she defended her PhD thesis, before she picked up her life in New Haven and moved to the big city on the job offer she’d been waiting for her whole life, she stumbled across someone she just barely remembered from childhood, Ross Kent – though, honestly, it was mostly their father she remembered. Pastor Kent had written one of her recommendation letters when she applied to Columbia; he had been a good friend of both her parents, had taken care of them when they needed aid, had been there for them in the moments that she couldn’t, the Christmases she’d missed because she couldn’t afford to fly home and the sicknesses she’d missed because she had too much work to take time off school. she felt she owed it to Pastor Kent to do the same for their only child, now alone in the world since their father’s death. Ross was out of sorts – everything in the news and online about gods had them worked up. they were worried, they said, about what this might mean. and they weren’t the first person she had come across who was none too happy about an interruption to daily life that she had been doing her best to ignore. but this… this presented a possibility. she knew the gods weren’t real, they couldn’t possibly be, and when the rest of the world realized it along with them, they wouldn’t remember the gods as much as they would remember the people who disproved them.

she introduced Ross to some people she knew, a ragtag group of anti-Pantheon protesters headed by a friend of hers from Columbia, and she re-named the group the Children of the Light – a name inspired by something she’d once heard Pastor Kent say, whose vague religious association would likely draw in the support of other religious groups but who would not be isolating to those who avoided organized religion. she took it upon herself to become a sort of PR representative for the group; after all, she knew how to put the right spin on everything, and the group was going to need publicity if it wanted to get anything done. on top of her new job it was a lot of work, but it would be worth it, soon, when the gods were gone and her name was consigned to the annals of history.

Ross Kent – in part because she was the one to drag them into this fight and in part because of her gratefulness to Pastor Kent, Imogen has taken on a sort of protective, sisterly roll to Ross. Ross is without anyone else in the world, these days, so she is happy to be whatever they need. especially because without Ross – the kind, people-friendly face to a not so kind movement, she’s not sure the Children of Light will get anything done.

Oliver Byrne – though Imogen has only known Oliver for a few months, the two are recently engaged. it’s a bit more rushed than she would have liked it, and they’re hoping to take their time planning the wedding. she won’t say it wasn’t at least a little motivated by appearances and securing Niamh and Oliver’s place in the Children of Light at first, but she can also say without a doubt that she does truly care for him.

Aris Cosmatos – the two have had a healthy sort of rivalry since undergrad, and as soon as she saw that they had been assigned to prosecute Lucifer, she could tell how valuable it would be to get them on her side. it was easy enough to get their allegiance to the Children of the Light, and she’s beginning to find just how much more they have in common with one another than anyone would guess at a glance.

Imogen Free is played by Aja Naomi King and she is open.