#gintoki fan fiction

[anggltz]

Title: The Unwavering Affection for Katsura Kotaro in Gintama

Introduction

In the vast realm of anime and manga, certain characters have the uncanny ability to capture the hearts of viewers and readers alike. Among these beloved characters, Katsura Kotaro from the anime series Gintama stands out as a prime example. Katsura's unique combination of charisma, humor, and depth of character has endeared him to fans worldwide. In this essay, I will delve into the reasons why I love Katsura Kotaro so much from Gintama.

Unconventional Heroism

Katsura Kotaro defies the conventional image of a hero, and that's precisely what makes him so captivating. Unlike the traditional hero who exudes confidence and infallibility, Katsura is a bumbling, well-intentioned rebel. His numerous failed attempts at rebellion against the oppressive government and his constant run-ins with the law paint a picture of a character who refuses to give up in the face of adversity. This persistence and unwavering commitment to his beliefs are qualities that resonate deeply with viewers.

Quirky Sense of Humor

Gintama is renowned for its humor, and Katsura Kotaro plays a pivotal role in delivering some of the series' most memorable comedic moments. His deadpan delivery, absurd disguises, and hilarious catchphrases like "Zura ja nai, Katsura da!" have become iconic in the anime community. Katsura's ability to seamlessly transition from a serious revolutionary to a comically inept character adds a layer of complexity to his personality that keeps viewers entertained and invested in his character.

A Heart of Gold

Beneath Katsura's eccentricity and penchant for theatrics lies a character with a heart of gold. His unwavering loyalty to his friends, particularly Gintoki and Takasugi, showcases his genuine care and concern for those close to him. Katsura's willingness to sacrifice his own well-being for the greater good is a testament to his selflessness, making him a character with whom viewers can empathize and admire.

Deep-rooted Ideals

Katsura's character is defined by his unwavering commitment to his ideals of freedom and justice. His determination to overthrow the oppressive government and create a better world for his fellow citizens is a driving force that resonates with anyone who values the pursuit of justice and freedom. Katsura's willingness to challenge the status quo and stand up for what he believes in makes him a symbol of hope and inspiration in the Gintama universe.

Relatability

Despite his eccentricities, Katsura Kotaro's struggles and aspirations are profoundly relatable. His journey to find his place in a world filled with chaos, corruption, and uncertainty mirrors the challenges and uncertainties that many individuals face in their own lives. Katsura's ability to persevere and adapt in the face of adversity serves as a source of motivation and encouragement for viewers.

Conclusion

Katsura Kotaro from Gintama is a character who has captured the hearts of fans for a myriad of reasons. His unconventional heroism, quirky sense of humor, unwavering ideals, and relatability make him a character who stands out in the world of anime and manga. My love for Katsura stems from his multifaceted personality, his ability to evoke both laughter and empathy, and his embodiment of enduring principles in a world that often challenges them. Katsura Kotaro is more than just a fictional character; he is a symbol of resilience, friendship, and the unwavering pursuit of a better world.

[soukitas]

“When you’re drunk, throwing up is always a good idea.”

Pairing: Gintoki x Reader Genre: Fluff  Chapters: One shot Word count: 1,678 Summary: Gintoki was out drinking, as usual, and you run into him. He really is a handful, but you manage somehow, that’s how strong your feelings for him are. 

A/N: Hello, this is my first Gintama fic, it’s been a while since I have written, and I decided to write x reader fics because I know we all want a good Gintama gentleman in our lives. I try hard to keep them in character, and also live up to the anime’s style and humor, that’s why titles try to mimic Sorachi’s. This piece is a gift and fully dedicated to my favorite tumblr person and partner in meme crime @parurushi, the original Mrs. Sakata. Love you R, I hope you like this. 

If you’re on mobile “Keep reading” won’t work, but you can read the fic here.

The wind of Edo felt rather cold against Gintoki’s drunken face as it blew through the alleys of the Red Light district, the fact that his body heat was so high seemed to surprise him, as if the eight jar of beer he was chugging down didn’t have anything to do with it. The small establishment was quiet, being Gintoki the only one there as he was still fiddling with the ramen, that had already gone cold, in front of him.

— Alone again, Gin-san?

The silver-haired man furrowed his eyebrows together, offendedly, at the snarky comment that came from the owner. He was a very well-known man around said district, always getting into trouble, broke, and had passed out at the entrance of almost every bar that was open past midnight, nonetheless not a single shop owner disliked his presence, he was always served with joy, and treated with respect, a kind soul whose only purpose was to help those who really needed and deserved it.

— Leave me alone, old man, beer is best enjoyed when you’re drinking by yourself.

— That’s not a saying, Gin-san, you should find yourself a good wife, someone you can laugh with, that will take care of you even after you have fallen sick.

— Why are we talking about this?

— I’m just worried about your future, I won’t be around forever either, and my son is not taking care of the business, who will look after you when you’ve fainted from the alcohol?

— I’ll  just drink somewhere else, it’s not like I have an exclusive contract to drink here. This is like the anime, sometimes we’re with TOEI animation, sometimes we are with other studios, that’s just how it works.

The man seemed to enjoy the joke of a very upset Gintoki, whom had gotten a lot louder than at the start. As the atmosphere seemed to lower it’s tension the welcome bell rang at the door. The slim figure of a woman entered the shop, dressed up in a vibrant purple kimono with golden flowers ornamenting the silk.

— Welcome!

The owner shouted across the room and watched you get closer to the counter, he was aware your smile was relentless, but after working an eight-hour graveyard shift it was just natural you looked like death. You took a seat next to Gintoki, but the way his head was hanging low blocked him from actually becoming aware of your presence.

— You really are a good for nothing.

The sudden blurt of words coming from you seemed to push him over the edge, making him sit back up with an angered face and a raised tone.

— HEY GRANDMA WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN- — he stopped mid-sentence when he realized the person he was talking to. — Ah, it’s just you. What the hell do you want?

— What do you mean “it’s just you”? That’s how you were raised to treat women? How are you not a virgin remains a mystery to me.

— What are you even doing here?

— Kagura called me.

— That kid. — he scoffed — I told her I don’t like being disturbed while I’m drinking, she doesn’t have to worry about me, I’m adult I can take care of myself.

— She wasn’t worried about you. — you said with certain mockery in your voice — She asked for ramen because she’s starving, because a certain “adult” hasn’t fed her all day.

— Whatever. — He muttered under his voice. — I don’t have any money anyway.

— You don’t? — the owner barged in.

— What you acting so surprised for? You told me you wanted to start giving back to the poor, well I am the poor, I’m taking back this beer.

You started laughing at his nonsense, knowing full well half of it was because of his drunken state, and the other half was his actual personality. The owner had already settled your order in front of you, ready to be taken back home. You had been friends with the Yorozuya for a while now; you always had some curiosity about that one man Tae always complained about, the one that took her younger brother into what she called a “path of disgrace and virginity”. One day you decided to walk home together with her, after all nights were dangerous for women to be wandering on their own, especially in that area of the city, and that’s when you first met Sakata Gintoki, on his knees, near the fridge, stealing your friend’s strawberry milk, you even almost felt sorry for him after Tae smothered her whole fist against his face and threw him out without his boots. After that event, you just seemed to run into him everywhere, and shortly enough you also became friends with the two younglings that lived with him: Shinpachi and Kagura.

All of you got along pretty well, mostly because you would take out Shinpachi and Kagura for a meal every now and then, and there was nothing more important for them that being well fed. Gintoki would often tag along, but the past weeks he wasn’t really present whenever you hanged out with them. You didn’t take it too personally, he was that kind of man anyway, stubborn, moody, a professional slacker, reminding yourself of all those flaws was just a way to question yourself why you liked him so much, why you worried so deeply about him, and longed for his company like you had for no other before.

— Don’t mind him, old man, he gets especially moody when he’s drunk. — you laughed along with the older man, seeing Gintoki clearly pissed off through the corner of your eye.

— I came here to have a good time and honestly, I feel so attacked right now.

— Quit being dramatic, Gin-chan, I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want. — you got up almost immediately after your statement, laying on the counter enough money to pay the bill off. You turned your body around, giving him a small pat on his curly hair — I will take this to Kagura. Don’t stay up too late.

You smiled towards him, to what he diverted his gaze from. You took your leave and the only sounds in the store were the clinking the dishes made when being washed.

— I get it now. — the owner broke the silence.

— What the hell are you talking about now?

— You guys call me an old man all the time, news for you, old men have some wisdom within them.

— Whatever you are insinuating, I can assure you you’re wrong. — Gintoki stood up, barely, with a little stumbling of his feet. — I will pay you for this some other time.

— There’s no need to, your friend left enough to cover your bill.

The surprise on Gintoki’s face could not be hidden, but he was not completely sure whether the owner’s words were real or just a prank of his own drunk mind. He took off immediately, struggling to get home on his own as his feet seemed not to work as desired and the directions in his head were not fully clear; somehow he made it to the base of the stairs, and even more impressive was how he managed to go all the way up to the apartment without falling off the handler, clumsily he opened the door, but the moment he shut it closed a dark shadow seemed to move on the couch. Despite his state Gintoki still managed to grab the handle of his sword and adopted his fighting position.

— You really took a little long to come.

Your voice snapped him out of his concentration, allowing his body to relax down.

— You scared the shit out of me, what the hell are you doing?

— Just wanted to make sure you got home safely, but I guess I fell asleep while waiting.

— Well, I’m home, so you can go back now.

— Alright, good night.

You started walking out of the house, but before you could fully close the door you heard a “blergh” like sound coming from inside. You sighed to yourself, trying to convince your head that you had no business checking what that was, but you, too, were stubborn, you turned on your heels to re-enter the apartment and looked inside the bathroom; Gintoki was with his head shoved into the toilet and a strong vomit smell coming out of it, you kicked his lower half gently, no response, he was passed out.

When you drink while you’re older than twenty God has no mercy on you, Gintoki was no exception, his head was throbbing, his mouth was dry, and his memory was gone. A faint smell of something being cooked outside was enough motivation to move a little, he sat up on his futon and grabbed his head to attempt reducing the pain in the back of it.

— Kagura? What are you cooking?

There was no response from the other side of the door, instead it parted open, allowing him to catch a glimpse of you with a tray between your hands, on it a bowl of rice and egg, and next to it a glass of water with a pair of aspirins.

— You’re up early, I just assumed you would go into a coma. — Gintoki’s eyes were still parted open, almost unable to believe them. While he seemed to space out you walked over to him and took a seat on the floor, right next to his futon. — Eat, or else your hangover won’t go away.

He wasn’t able to look away from you, not for a single second, with the same startled look on his face, you could see the ruby-colored eyes clearly, the same ones you had once compared to a dead fish’s, just swallowing your entire presence. It made you uncomfortable, no, it really made you nervous, so you looked away. He realized so and that broke his thoughts away.

— Sorry, sorry.

— What were you staring for?

— Nothing. — he sighed before rising his sight again, a small smile drawn on his face. — I was just thinking. Some old men sure are wise.

[yujee]

Summary: Set after the events in the manga. Gintoki finds himself in despair and confusion after he finally realizes his feelings.

Characters: Gintoki, Hijikata, Tsukuyo, Kagura, Okita Sogo, Shinpachi

Warning: Contains a bit of violence, and explicit languages

A/N: The story will be in multiple parts, but not sure how many but maybe around 7, I think. This is also a mixture of a bit angst, fluff, humor, romance. And lastly, it’s my first time writing a fanfic for an anime, so I’m sorry if I may not much knowledge about some terms or something when writing a fanfic for anime OTL.

Chapter 1/6

It was a bleak autumn night. I looked up the sky and only saw darkness, not even solitary star in sight. I sighed in disbelief, why would I expect some change of weather when I just watched Ketsuno Ana’s weather report in the morning. After some minutes of walking, I arrived at my favorite local restaurant.

“Ara, Gin-san, it’s good to see you again. How long has it been?” the late owner’s wife still welcomed me the usual.

“Three years is not that long obaa-chan.” I replied nonchalantly as she served me my favorite Uji Gintoki-don. Then she started telling me that I still have a long way to go and I am still young and all that.

Young huh.

Well, even though I am almost thirty, oh wait, I just turned thirty last month. So, am I still in the age bracket to call young’uns? I still have plenty of things in mind that I need to forget. The elders have it easy. They are in the stage where they can just tell, ‘I forgot. Must have been old age’. Or something like that. The only thing I can think of that can help me forget. SAKE. Good thing this restaurant also serves sake. I immediately finished my meal and was almost in my third bottle of sake, when I heard the name I was not totally expecting to hear. No, it will be weird if I did not expect even a bit.

“Hijikata-san! Long time no see. I’m happy to see both you and Gin-san are doing fine.” The granny greeted the gruffly looking fellow. We do have unique taste after all, and this is the only the restaurant that caters special meals to their patrons.

“It’s not yet 10 in the evening and yet here you are drinking. You got a big reward this afternoon that you wanted to spend all on alcohol? I pity those two kids not knowing that thei—"

I glared and punched him hard on the face.

“Oi, what’s wrong with you?!” He growled and almost punched me back. But he held back. He returned to his seat and started eating his ‘dog food’, the granny just gave him. When he finished, he lighted one of his cigarettes with his mayonnaise shaped lighter and blew the smoke on my face.

“You bastard!” I coughed and almost choked with what he did.

“Spill it out. You are hiding something right? I knew there was something different from you since afternoon. Your eyes were different.” He said while smirking. This scumbag!

I ignored his statement and continued drinking. Nothing good will come if I talk to him. Ignore him Gintoki. He is just some mayora in uniform.

He suddenly grabbed my collar and started shouting at my face. “Oi! I’m talking to you curly haired bastard!”

I shrugged him off. “You officers really like violence huh?! Fine, I’ll talk, after I get drunk.” I gulped another cup of sake. There is no way I am telling him this while I am sober. Damn. I wanted to carry this secret to my grave. Oh well. What can I do? There is nothing I can do now that I have realized my own feelings. After a few more cups, I felt like I am already drunk. I muttered.

“I… love…the kid…”

“Huh?! What do you mean kid? I don’t get you. Can you speak in English?” demanded mayo addict with a cigarette still between his fingers. Ugh. What a pain in the ass.

I collected all my thoughts and breathe in and out slowly. “I am in love with Kagura. Damn it!” I finally told him, slamming my fist on the table.

[citruspeel]

unsaid [oneshot]

You bet your ass the Yorozuya fought over a free overnight trip to a resort. 

---

[gintama fanfiction]

sakata gintoki x shimura tae [gintae]

3.9k+

--

They were everywhere.

On his arms, shoulders, waist, back. Everywhere she looked, there were traces of faded wounds. Some even overlapped others. Lines from scratches, cuts from blades, marks from spears and weapons she didn’t even know…seeing them up close sent shivers down her spine. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him naked like this, no, but it was the first time that she was able to let the sight of it – of him - sink in.

“Oy, if you’re going to sneak up on me like a pervert, at least do it well.”

Tae blinked. She thought she had been quiet.

“Exclusive wing, buffet access, unlimited room service, five-star amenities including a souvenir yukata set,” Tama rattled off to her audience. Shinpachi was sitting with his head in his hands. Kagura’s mouth was hanging open, while Catherine was in total shock. Otose calmly pulled a puff from her cigarette. “A western-style bath, open minibar, flat-screen TV, free wi-fi, 24-hour concierge and free transfers from the hotel, and an en-suite private onsen with a panoramic mountain view.”

No one spoke once Tama was done. The air in Snack Otose was thick with tension – but whatever it was that was happening, it didn’t seem to derail Gintoki even by a centimeter. He focused his dead fish eyes on his landlady, ignoring her smirk.

“Don’t tell me you’ll still say no to that.” Otose grinned as she blew out smoke.

Shinpachi stood up immediately. “Yes! I mean, no! I’m still going to say no! I won’t let it happen!”

Kagura wailed beside him. “It has unlimited room service! Unlimited food!”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t even consider me, Otose-san!” Catherine pounded her fists on the bar. “I’m the one who has been working hard here!”

“We just went last week, Catherine!” Otose snapped. Catherine glared at Gintoki as she served him a bottle of sake. “Don’t be selfish. And an onsen resort isn’t a place for kids –”

“We aren’t kids!” Shinpachi argued. “Eighteen is already legal in other countries!”

The old lady only waved her pipe at him.

“I’m actually more bothered you didn’t try to sell the ticket.” Gin said. “Quite the package, huh.”

“It was specifically requested to be given to you,” Otose eyed him. “If I don’t, those goddamn Stands might haunt me for the rest of my life.”

Gin freaked out. “So it is from that haunted snow spa?! Don’t give it to me!”

“Relax. It’s for another hotel in the next town, and they wanted to give it a test run before opening. My friend Oiwa was given the ticket, but she said she has no one to enjoy it with and she has work to do. So…she gave it to you.” Otose explained. She leaned on the bar across Gintoki and looked past him. “And…well, you.”

In the resulting chaos, it was easy to forget who the other recipient of the ticket was. Shinpachi groaned at being reminded of it.

“Are you still going to say no, Otae-chan?”

-

The hotel picked them up at the Yorozuya Friday morning. Tae inwardly wondered if the trip was worth the trouble, seeing that everyone just couldn’t calm down at the idea of her and Gintoki going somewhere.

Their departure caused a ruckus outside the shop. She nodded attentively at everything Shinpachi fussed over and tried to reassure him repeatedly. Kagura, meanwhile, was telling Gin to stuff his bags with room service food and to take home an extra yukata set for her. Kondo was tearing up as he nursed a baby gorilla, while Tama unceremoniously fished Sarutobi from underneath the car. Okita, for some weird reason, was hanging about, an AK-47 hitched by his hip. Gin narrowed his eyes at the sight of him; Tae had to pull him into the car just to get the goodbyes going.

As they settled in, Otose stepped near the window. Gin rolled it down to speak to her.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Otose said, arms crossed before her. “Don’t be an embarrassment to mankind, like you usually are. And don’t try to bring home all of the toiletries. They’ll charge you for the towels.”

Gin groaned. “It’s not my first time, geez.”

Otose’s eyes twinkled. She leaned in to whisper, “Well if it’s not your first time, then you know what to do.” She glanced quickly at Tae and held back a chortle. “They don’t have a rotating bed, though, so you’ll have to make do with a futon.”

Tae felt all her blood rise up to her cheeks. “What – I – we – we’re not – Otose-san –”

“Enjoy it, you goodamn good-for-nothing perm head.” A warm smile was on Otose’s lips. For a moment, she genuinely looked happy. “You deserve it.”

Gin only stared blankly at his landlady. Words escaped him as Otose stepped back and let the car rev up. All of a sudden, the window started to roll up on its own.

“Good luck, Gintoki, Otae-chan!” Otose called out, oddly cheery. “Play some Final Fantasy!”

As the car went on to its destination, Shinpachi swore he heard voices of protest. But those soon faded away.

-

Gintoki let out a sigh. He had wanted to relax on this particular trip – after all, two years of gallivanting all over the country wasn’t fun if you were on the run. He already planned his activities in his head: he’d gorge himself at the buffet, play a couple of rounds of pachinko, take a nap, watch some Ketsuno Ana reruns, and then go to the baths for a nice long soak. Once he was done, he’d sleep until midday the next day, repeat the process, and finally get some quality time to himself. He didn’t need Otose’s implications hanging over him – them – like a cloud.

“I can’t believe that hag,” he muttered as he read the place card on their futon. The staff had kindly laid the mattress out and placed a welcome message on it. 

“Happy honeymoon, Mr. and Mrs. Sakata.” Tae read aloud, sputtering. Gin scratched at his head. “I…I mean, what kind of five-star establishment writes happy honeymoon? I guess Oiwa-san thought we were married...”

Gin pulled the closet doors open, frantically searching.

“There’s really just one futon?!”

“Maybe because it’s a honeymoon suite...?” Tae said, voice small. They both looked at the mattress and the card, unsure of what to do.

True enough, the room wasn’t large, but it truly was grand. Upon entrance, soft yellow lights lined a short hallway that led to the rest of the room. A loveseat type of zaisu was in the living room. In the bedroom area, the only futon was wide enough for two, fluffed up to look inviting. The bathroom was pristine, complete with all amenities. On one side of the room, instead of walls, the room was lined with clear glass, providing a panoramic view of evergreens and snowy mountains. In one corner was the star of the show – a very intimate-looking private onsen, overlooking the white mountain range.

Tae cleared her throat. They didn’t have to use the private onsen, now, did they?

“I’m afraid you do, madame,” said the receptionist. Tae had called up the front desk to ask for an extra futon – a request they also denied. “The only available public baths are the women’s; a problem has come up with the men’s bath so if your husband wants to use it, I’m afraid he has no option. Is anything of the matter, madame? Is the suite not to your liking?”

Tae gulped. Husband… “No, it’s not that – ”

“Oh, good.” The receptionist sighed out of relief. “We had prepared that room especially for you. I do hope you can let us know how the room was able to aid you in your activities –”

“…activities?”

“They have strawberry milk in the minibar!” Gin cried from the living room. “Unlimited strawberry milk!”

“We might not have rotating beds but we can send whatever you’ll need up – ”

Tae’s eyes widened with surprise. “W-what is up with everyone? We don’t want rotating beds – ”

“What do you mean? You specifically requested for one when we were in Kabuki-cho.” Gintoki stepped up next to her, drinking strawberry milk straight from the carton. Tae stiffened; the receptionist was giggling like mad on the other end.

“Don’t – Gin-san!” Tae glared at him.

Gin took the phone she was holding and spoke to the receptionist himself. “If you have a whip, please, that would be great –” Tae swatted his arm in silent protest. “ – and my wife says no. Okay, we were just joking. Yes. Hahaha. She’s a feisty one, that’s for sure. Yes. Absolutely. We’ll let you know. Alright, good night!”

“Gin-san! Why did you say all of that?”

“If they find out we’re not married, they might kick us out.” Gin nestled his mouth on the carton and spoke thorugh it. “Just play along. Relax. Don’t bother being paranoid whether or not I’m going to do anything to you because with that flat chest of yours, I won’t have even the will to try.”

Bam.

“Try saying that again –”

Situation aside, the hotel was beautiful. It wasn’t too big nor was it too small – it was cozy and welcoming, a perfect, quiet spot nestled in a peaceful, snowy mountain range. As she sat soaking in the women’s bath – she let Gintoki use the one in the room, instead – she felt somehow at peace. It had been a while since she had been.

Two years, huh? Tae hugged her knees to her chest and watched the ripples swimming around her. It had been two years since Gintoki had left them, and in the time he had been away, Tae realized just how much things could change.

Somehow, Shinpachi had grown up at a rate she didn’t expect. He didn’t laugh as often as he did before. The silence from Kagura was also telling. While still busy and bustling, Edo still felt incomplete. In the noise of the restoration, of Katsura’s reforms and Hasegawa’s blood-boiling credit-grabbing movie career, Tae felt bothered by a silence she couldn’t source. She had wondered if her change in lifestyle was the one to blame – after all, cabaret girl to diet instructor was quite the transformation. But no matter how busy she got, the longer she waited, the more unbearable the silence became.

“How do you do it, Aneue?” Shinpachi had asked her once. They were having dinner at the Shimura household, a practice they kept, even if Shinpachi was starting to lean towards taking over the Yorozuya. Even after six months of hearing nothing from Gin, he refused to sleep there, saying that his old boss might just return and need the room. “How can you just…wait?”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

Shinpachi sighed deeply as he put his chopsticks down. “Whenever the big fights happen, there are times where you just wait for us. We leave you alone and not even tell you where we’ve gone. No news, nothing. But you still just wait and even greet us smiling when we come back.

I don’t know how you do it. Gin-san…Kagura-chan…I know they left me here alone for good reasons, but I still can’t help it. Why did we have to break up? Why couldn’t we do whatever it is they were going to do together?”

His voice had grown weak. Tae could only watch as her brother looked down at his lap, shoulders slumped, eyes hidden from his sister’s view. “There’s a part of me that can’t help but get…mad. Sad. I don’t know if I can greet them happy. I want to, but…”

“Shin-chan,” Tae started. The silence around them only pronounced that they were alone. “I know it’s hard to wait. Not hearing anything from them. Not knowing what’s happening. But if they know you’re here waiting, they’ll have all the more reason to come back.” She felt her lips break into a small smile. “You just have to trust them. Believe in them”

Shinpachi chuckled. It didn’t go well with the sadness in his eyes. “…it’s hard, Aneue. It’s amazing how you do it.”

Over time, Shinpachi had settled into a path of his own and found solace in his  work as the new neighborhood Yorozuya. He soon found his rhythm and along with the rest of Edo, he was able to move on day by day. But Tae kept it to herself, that she found comfort in knowing that she wasn’t alone in feeling the heft of their - his? - absence. 

“Oh, what am I thinking? It doesn’t matter now, does it?” Tae told herself, getting the attention of an older woman who was doing her own reflecting in a faraway corner. She smiled sheepishly and gave the woman a small nod.

He’s back now. That’s what matters. But as she left the bath and prepared to go back to their inappropriately designated room, her unease never went away. A bevy of things unsaid still hovered around him, clouds of silence, lingering like the wrinkles still on her over-soaked fingers.

-

When Tae came back, the room was a mess. Candy wrappers were everywhere. The television was left turned on, filling the air with Ketsuno Ana’s voice doing a weather prediction marathon. The further she got inside the room, the harder it was to see – the room was filling up with hot, humid mist. It was a miracle the smoke alarm didn’t go off.

“Gin-san!” Tae called out, sidestepping a dried-up strawberry milk carton and wrappers of Pocky and Choco Edo Pies. “Gin-san! Can you turn the water off for a second – ”

“And for tonight, we’ll have a nice flurry of snow up north!”

“Gin-san!” The mist got thicker by the time she was near the glass walls. She had to tip-toe to avoid stepping on an open copy of Shounen Jump. “Gin-san, can you hear me?”

“Very nice and romantic, especially for Libras and Scorpios holed up in an exclusive onsen resort!”

Tae paused to wonder if what she was hearing was right, but then she had Gin to find. This hotel needed to adjust its exhaust abilities immediately. The air was nearly white the closer she got to the onsen.

“Gin-san!”

“Remember, don’t stay in the bath too long, or your hands will turn into prunes!”

Finally, she found the glass door leading to the overlooking bath. Tae slid it open and a fat cloud of white mist billowed out, revealing Gintoki soaking in the tub, naked, his back towards her.

Suddenly, Tae found no will to speak. There was something somber about seeing Gin alone in the bath, shoulders slack, silent. The mist swirled around him lazily, adding to the air of mystery that he had carried ever since he returned. Gone was the idiot that dragged her brother into all sorts of trouble. With a tinge of sadness, Tae felt like she was looking at a different person.

Gin-san…

He didn’t stir when she opened the door, nor when she entered. He kept his head bowed.

Tae didn’t know why, but even if her feet were getting damp from the wet bathroom floor, she kept going. One soft step. Two. The nearer she got, the sharper they became, and then they were everywhere, unable to be hide in the mist any longer. 

They were on his arms, shoulders, waist, back. Every inch of his skin that she could see were peppered with traces of faded wounds. Lines from scratches, cuts from blades, marks from spears and weapons couldn’t even name…seeing them up close sent shivers down her spine. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him naked like this, no. But it was the first time that she was able to let the sight of it – of him - sink in.

“Oy, if you’re going to sneak up on me like a pervert, at least do it well.”

Tae blinked. She thought she had been quiet.

“I was just worried. You…might have passed out, and the room was already filled with mist and – ”

“I won’t pass out,” Gintoki replied. His voice was deep and unanimated. It bothered her. “Ketsuno Ana’s still doing the forecast for tomorrow.”

A pregnant pause hung over them. Barred by the spa’s glass walls, Ketsuno Ana’s weather predictions became muffled mumblings. The near silence of the onsen amplified every noise, so much that Tae felt like she could hear everything. Her heartbeat. His breathing. The calm bubbling of the hot spring water that was being piped into the depressed tub before her. Somehow, everything was more noticeable, as if her senses were on overdrive. Even the sight of Gin’s bare back seemed so vivid - too vivid. The pink line the ledge of the tub made against his skin, alive, compared to the ghostly whites and faded tans of his scars.

“So many,” she said. She found herself kneeling behind him, close enough that she could study every mark. 

Gin only returned a low ‘hmm’ and nodded. It took a while before he gave a real reply.

“They’re nothing. Sakamoto and Kondou, they’ve been hurt way worse.”

She ignored him.

“I never knew you had this much.” She wanted to stop herself from talking, but something about the mist pulled whatever she thought out of her. “I never noticed.”

He gave a dry chuckle. “We don’t really get naked with each other now, do we?”

Tae frowned. Despite the laugh, this Gintoki she was talking to – a Gintoki who didn’t even turn to look at her – was definitely stranger than normal.

“No, we don’t. Should we?” she asked, raising an eyebrow in half-jest, knowing he couldn’t see it.

He lifted his head but still didn’t turn back. “Hmm…maybe we should.”

Another pause. She didn’t move from her spot even if her yukata was slowly soaking up the water from the floor. Her wet feet were getting uncomfortable. While she knew it was wrong, she was entranced by it, the sight of his back, this…map she had discovered. A map whose every landmark was made with pain and blood and violence. She wanted to ask questions, like his worst wound or his favorite one, if he ever had one. But the longer she looked at it, the heavier her chest felt.

“I saw you, once,” she murmured. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she did it anyway. “Naked.” She reached across her and traced her fingertips across his shoulder, feeling the faint ridges of his scars. Along his arm, well into the hand submerged in water, she saw faint hints of more injuries.

“I like me some public exhibition from time to time.” No matter how much he tried to kid, his voice betrayed him.

Tae felt her throat dry up. She pressed her fingers against a particularly long gash down his shoulder blade. “I had to dress you up after that incident, when you went after that stupid sword.”

“Ah.”

The water bubbled softly as silence fell between them again. Tae couldn’t speak. She inwardly wondered if the water could cover up the sound of a sob. Her eyes were watering at a rapid pace, blurring Gin from her view.

The multitude of scars spoke volumes to her. It hurt to see his pain, guilt, and sacrifice etched into every wound, every mark proof of all the things he left unsaid. Every bruise healed was a burden he carried, and most were burdens he had no business carrying. How often had he gone out of his way to injure himself so badly for people he barely knew? On her account, she was sure she her fingers weren’t enough to count them. Saving her from that sky cabaret, drilling sense into her when she almost married Kyuubei, saving Kabuki-cho – even Edo - on various occasions, buying time even for her first love. He had done countless others service, shouldered their worries, and solved problems with gritted teeth, all with this broken, battered body. A body that seemed to want nothing in return.

“Hey.”

Oh no. Onsen baths weren’t good in hiding tears, after all.

“Otae-chan –”

“I – ” Tae started. Upon seeing him try to look back at her, she swallowed an upcoming sob and held his head so he could continue looking at the view. She wished the snowflakes would keep his attention.

“I don’t know if anybody has ever said it, but…” her voice came out small, but it was the best she could do. “You’ve been through so much. For us. Thank you, Gin-san.”

She let go of his head. He didn’t bother to look at her; he only sank deeper into the bath.

-

She had left him in the tub. As Gin dried himself inside, she changed into a new yukata and dove under the sheets. Never mind that her feet were still uncomfortable and cold. She immediately curled into a ball, lying on her side. She screwed her eyed shut; she didn’t know how to face Gin after saying something so embarrassing and personal.

She tried to fall asleep, but it was hard with Gin rustling about. He shut off the TV and turned off the lights, and before she knew it, he had crawled onto the futon beside her.

“You know what my favorite injury is?”

Tae pursed her lips together and didn’t reply.

“Don’t pretend you’re sleeping, you gorilla woman.”

“…fine. What is it?”

“This.”

Suddenly, he reached over and took her hand. He pulled on it, guiding it with his own under the collar of his yukata until her fingertips were on a sizeable scar on his shoulder. He kept her hand on that spot, eyes now trained on hers as they faced each other. He waited. As she pressed her hand on his skin, on a scar that was on its way to fading, a warmth bloomed in her chest. She knew that wound, and she had hated it. She had hated how Shinpachi had carried him in broken and bloody. She hated how it took him so long to recover. She hated how he seemingly ignored that wound she had lovingly dressed and still went on to fight. 

But as she traced its remnants, eyes boring into his, she knew it was one of the things she also loved most about him.

Tae found her lips breaking into a smile. He grinned back.

“Wonderful choice,” she said softly. “I really hate that wound.” 

He laughed. An honest, good, rare, hearty laugh, a laugh that brightened his dead fish eyes and made the moonlight dance in his hair. She chuckled and tightened her hold on his hand in return. 

Whatever she had left unsaid, she hoped her touch could say in her stead. 

Welcome home, Gin-san. 

“Ew, Gin-san, your hands feel like prunes.”

“Mine are smooth baby grapes compared to yours. Just wait when you turn sixty.”

-

A/N: Here’s the other fanfic I was talking about. Haha! The last GinTae plot bunny I have – unless Sorachi gives us more clues…? Hahaha.

I initially was intrigued at the thought of Gin having scars, being inspired by Noda Satoru’s Sugimoto Saichi from Golden Kamuy having a scar-ridden body. I thought, with all the fighting Gin went through, it’s impossible he doesn’t have some, right? And then I wondered what situation would necessitate Tae seeing Gin naked (aside from lemony services haha) and here we are.

An angstier, more dramatic take compared to Under Cover, but it was fun to write.

Expect sneaky rewrites here and there. Haha!

[lilac-5ky]

A Birthday Plot (Takasugi birthday oneshot)

A/N: As his legally wedded wife, I think that me writing an incredibly lengthy piece for his birthday, surprises no one. Takasugi is a character whom I utterly love, one who has helped me deal with many self issues and gotten me to accept myself. People outside the anime community will mock you if you suggest that a fictional character was enough to change your life, yet I feel no shame to admit that without him or Gintama, my mental state would have deteriorated a long time ago. Takasugi is the one who basically saved me and he's brought a great deal of happiness to my life, and for that, I will always be grateful to him and Sorachi. SO YEAH BEFORE THIS TURNS INTO A MUSHY EMOTIONAL SPEECH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED SHINSUKE 💜💜💜

p.s. i really did time this to japan time so that it gets posted the same second his bday comes. aye.

Warning: Don't get fooled by the fluff, this turns into a full mode smut. But you know, it's full of love and fluff too so uwu.

adding this gif bcs his expression here overwhelms me and i wanna squeal.

Birthdays are special. You’ve always been a firm believer in that. When you are a child, you get to eat all the cake in the world undisturbed, getting coddled by family and friends alike. No one complains about you spending the entire day playing ‘kick the can’. No one asks you to do chores; you are free to do as you wish.

Birthdays really are special, but as time went by, you saw a less selfish reason as to why that was. It’s the one day of the year when you can celebrate and honor a person’s life and very existence, when you can return all the joy and happiness you’ve received tenfold. When you truly care about someone, their birthdays have even more importance than your own. Yet when it comes to the one you cared about, things did not come as easily.

Takasugi was never a big fan of birthdays. Even when the two of you were younger, he always spent his birthday like any other ordinary day at Shoka Sonjuku, bickering and getting into trouble with his friends. While Katsura wished him a “happy birthday” without fail, Gintoki’s teasing never seized. If anything, it was just an opportunity to remind him how another year had gone by with him not growing an inch, leading to even more arguing between the two.

At the end, Shouyou-sensei was the only one to try and make this day somewhat memorable, letting you play to your heart’s content and prepping a small gift for each of his pupils’ special day.

When it came down to you, Takasugi’s birthday was perhaps even more valued than your own. Ever since you were mere brats, your eyes had always been set on him, more so than on any of your other friends. For reasons you failed to understand, his happiness meant a great deal to you, and so, even if it was nothing but a small thing, you wanted to give him something that would make him smile.

The first present you could remember giving him was the silliest of the lot; a makeshift bouquet of freshly cut mountain flowers, one that you’d hastily shaped on your way back from the temple school when he wasn’t looking. It wasn’t much of a gift, for sure, but that was all you had to offer at the time.

The two of you paced side by side as per usual, the distance between your houses being relatively small and all. Though the walk was short, your anxiety made it feel as if you’d been on the road for hours. The fact that no one was around was enough to make your palms all sweaty, the green of the stems molding with your fingertips. It didn’t help that he’d chosen this day to keep to himself either, as if he had some sort of premonition as to what was about to happen.

Doing your best to forsake that gut wrenching feeling, you held onto the flowers as if your life depended on it. His house was the first on the line, yet rather than taking a left turn to reach your own home, you tagged along with him. Surprisingly enough he didn’t seem to mind, his attention turning to you only after you’d reached his front door. It was time.

“H-here!” You shut your eyes, extending the bouquet for him to grab. “Happy Birthday, Shinsuke-kun.”

The second he took them in his own hands, you had vanished into thin air. Your heart was beating so loud, that by the time your feet stopped moving, it felt as if your entire body was tossed inside an oven. When the oxygen returned to your lungs, you realized what a big idiot you were. Instead of waiting to see his reaction, you had ran away like a coward. What if he hated you now? What if he didn’t want to see you again? How would you face him? And lastly, why on earth would you gift a boy flowers?

Perhaps you were unsure of what that feeling that you felt for him was, but if you’d stayed just a second longer, you’d get to see how a bright shade of red clung onto his cheeks as well, his lips trembling between a frown and a shy smile.

Your second attempt at a birthday gift didn’t come until his next birthday. Despite neither of you bringing it up, the embarrassment of the flower incident managed to haunt you all year long. At times you mused over what had actually happened to the bouquet, though knowing him he’d probably discarded it. Well, that’d didn’t matter. It wasn’t a particularly bright idea to begin with, and now you were given a chance to redeem yourself. No matter what, past mistakes would not be repeated, a rule that did not necessarily apply to new ones.

This year, you had decided to put your mothers culinary teachings into practice by opting for a different kind of present, one that just about anyone would be able to appreciate; homemade cookies. Surely a birthday cake was far more suited for the occasion, but your skills were not honed for such a thing just yet. Cookies would have to do. Besides, your mother assured that they were most delicious.

The first thing you did in the morning of Takasugi’s birthday was to hide your gift underneath your desk, away from the prying eyes of your friends. For once, this was a present you could actually be proud of; packed in a small fancy box and kept together by an even fancier looking ribbon, the cookies looked as if they were straight from the bakery. Those half shredded daises you gave him last year would finally be erased from memory.

When the opportunity to approach him presented itself, you fished the box out, walking towards the boy with the biggest smile on your face. There was no reason for you to run away anymore, not when this was a guaranteed success.

“Happy Birthday, Shinsuke!”

The boy arched a brow, his curious expression studying your own and then the box, before finally relieving you of the burden. Things were moving along way better than they did last year. Or so you thought until the ribbon came off and you found yourselves staring at an empty metallic pit. Well, semi empty, that was. Other than a leftover cookie and many, many crumbs, everything you’d worked so hard for had turned into smoke.

Without saying a word, Takasugi picked up the remaining cookie, shifting it with his fingers while looking at it in disbelief. You didn’t know what to say. There was no way that box was empty when you left the house, and yet, there was no way to explain this. At least not until a certain silver-haired troublemaker passed you by with a face full of crumbs.

“Gintoki!” The two of you growled together in unison.

And that was how your birthday surprise was once again ruined.

It wasn’t until about three or four years later that you dared break through that birthday curse. In all those years that went by, you’d managed to identify those weird, swirling-like emotions as love. Or at least an early stage of it. With time, you were able to keep them under control around him, yet they remained the reason as to why you could never come up with a proper birthday gift. Celebrating another failure would not do. Next time you attempted to gift him something, it needed to be proper and well thought of, a present that equaled your feelings.

At least that was the thought, until the four of you officially joined the war. With Shouyou-sensei’s rescue being your primary goal, no one had the time nor the mind to fool around anymore. Not when death and destruction loomed right around the corner. However, Sakamoto’s eventual arrival did have an impact, restoring some of that past liveliness in your lives. After all, soldiers or not, you were still teenagers. A little fun here and there when the war was in a stalemate wouldn’t hurt.

With Takasugi’s birthday approaching, you found it hard to concentrate on anything other than finding the perfect gift, while he seemed to focus on literally anything else. When he wasn’t in the middle of fighting over every single petty thing with Gintoki, he was constantly working on new strategies and tactics, doing his best to predict every possible enemy movement in advance. His dedication was admirable, earning the respect of many fighters among your ranks. Yet that perseverance of his limited your gift choices, rounding them down to tools of practical usage. How unimaginative.

Time kept flowing, and you’d been unable to come up with a good idea, until one day you overheard an argument between him and Gintoki. The latter was accusing him of being unable to see past a meter because of his height, while Takasugi put the blame on the overgrown flora. It didn’t take long for things to get heated between them, each trying to bring the other’s head onto the ground in a contest to see who could reach lower. While an entertaining sight to behold, you had no time to spare on watching, not when you had finally come up with the greatest idea.

On the day of his birthday, you found yourself aimlessly circling through the woods. According to Katsura, the boy set out for the forest around noon, hoping to scout the area before nightfall. It wasn’t unlike Takasugi to take on objectives all by himself, refusing to ask for help even in the face of daunting tasks. Aware of that stubborn nature of his, you decided that rather than waiting around for him to return, it’d be better to go on the lookout yourself.

After searching just about every nook and cranny of the place, you were unable to find any sign of Takasugi, or anyone else for that matter. He might as well have turned back from a different path, leaving you to stand all alone in the desolate woods. The sun was about to go down and the first batch of stars were already appearing upon the sky. It was time to go. Finding him in the dark would be impossible anyway.

Having let out a disheartened sigh, you were about to give up when the sound of leaves rustling from up above caught your interest.

“Shinsuke?” You asked, perplexed as to why his face was buried between branches and leaves. A pair of sharp green eyes looked down on you, with the boy’s back leaning against the trunk and his arms crossed over his chest.

“Y/N.” He acknowledged without budging an inch. “Why are you here?”

“I was looking for you. Zura said you’d be here.”

The light hum of the cicadas was the only answer you received.

“I came here to bring you this.” You went on, ushering him to grab the bag from your hands. “It’s your birthday, remember? When I saw this I thought that you might find some use for it and I uhm…” Panic seeped through your words as you watched him take the pair of binoculars out. “I hope it’s to your liking. Happy Birthday!”

Takasugi carefully examined the object, his gesture reminding you of how keenly he had once studied that cookie you gave him. Though you couldn’t tell from down there, he seemed at the very least interested, bringing the binoculars to his eyes and then looking far into the distance.

“You can use these to spot ambushes or enemies in general, but you could also use them to gaze at pretty things from up close. I’ve seen you stare at the stars or the sea or other pretty things such as-“

“You.” He interrupted, the direction of his binoculars shifting.

The second you understood the meaning of his suggestion, you felt your entire face turning red, an expression he could easily spot with his new toy. Did he really mean what he just said? Did he really find you pretty? Did he actually look at you? All sorts of thoughts spiraled through your brain, until you realized that he wasn’t done talking.

“…should head back in. I’ll take care of things and join shortly.” At the sound of his words, you felt a weird rush of embarrassment and disappointment, resulting in your legs picking up a quick pace on their own.

Just when you thought you’d been able to escape, the sound of his voice made your feet come to a halt.

“Oh and Y/N?” He hesitated, briefly contemplating his own words. “Thank you. I really appreciate this.”

That was the first and the last actual gift you managed to give him. The war, your defeat, his injury, sensei… all those events that transpired changed Takasugi in unimaginable ways. Just like the rest of you, he’d lost so much during those years, yet he refused to ever let go. Ten years had passed since then; ten years of him living his own life as if it was borrowed; ten years of him throwing himself down the path of vengeance.

Although it was hard for you to see him progressively destroy himself, you knew that without a purpose he’d truly lose it. You understood that better than anyone. After all, you’d spent all these years by his side.

Perhaps you really were Takasugi’s final selfish need, a remnant of the past he couldn’t forsake. Be it persistence on your side or tolerance on his, you clung onto one another like no one else, promising to see the end of things together no matter what that meant. This was your pledge.

Considering birthdays during such a crucial point of your journey wasn’t the most sensible thing to do, yet part of you could not completely abandon your previous way of living. Even when he had no intention of celebrating the occasion, you found yourself reflecting upon the past times, wishing that just this once, you could return to the girl who schemed around his birthday plans.

“Why are you in such deep thought?”

The sound of his voice made you turn around to the direction of your bed. Despite being all dressed up, he was still sitting idle, not particularly willing to leave the comfort of your covers.

A light frown of his as you approached him was all it took to make you smile. Even when you’d grown accustomed to seeing that face on regular occasion, it didn’t seem to lose its appeal. He remained as endearing as ever.

You hummed softly, taking a seat by his side. Bringing up the past would likely turn the mood sour and foil all plans for the day. You had to carefully consider your choices before giving him an answer, or else everything you’d worked for would go to waste.

Takasugi patiently awaited your response, his eye trailing down to his fingers, mindlessly tugging at the roll of bandage between them.

“I was thinking about going to the city today.” You admitted, claiming the bandage from his hands. He stood still, watching as you pushed the hair off his forehead, wrapping the fabric around his left eye with great care.

“What for?” He asked, a pout taking shape on his face. Even when he let you handle such things for him, he’d much rather be the one taking care of himself. At the end, past this imposing and striking appearance, lied a bullheaded child.

“To replenish your stash.”

“My stash?” He arched a brow.

“Well…” You chuckled awkwardly, doing your best to play the part. “Can you blame me? This heatwave is unbearable and-”

“You drunk my yakult?” He interrupted, shooting you a glare.

“Yes… but I was planning on compensating you, as you see!”

It didn’t matter whether you upset him or not, as long as he took the bait. All you wanted was for him to be distracted enough so that when you reeled it back in, he’d be sure to follow. After all, this was nothing but a carefully planned ruse to get him to celebrate his own birthday.

With an apologetic smile, you cupped his face, ignoring his unamused expression.

“I’m sorry, I know you don’t like it when I touch your stuff.”

He shook his head, some of his annoyance dissipating.

“Would you like to come with me? It’s been a long time since we last walked together, and well, carrying all that yakult by myself would be exhausting.”

“Just how much did you consume?”

If anyone heard the conversation between the two of you, they’d assume that you had committed a grave sin. His tone was stern and his expression strained, as if you’d just revealed to him that you’d sided with the Bakufu. Seeing such side of him resurface brought great joy to you, relieved that this part of him had survived the war.

“All of.. it?” This was a big oversight. Checking his actual stash beforehand completely slipped your mind. You could only hope that the amount was formidable enough to pique his interest.

“Three refrigerators?”

You widened your eyes, finding it hard to believe that he actually kept this much inside the ship.

“Y—yeah! I told you I was quite thirsty.” You chuckled, hoping that your plan wouldn’t fall apart now.

Takasugi kept quiet, his expression tensing up once more before relaxing into a curved smile. Fooling him was hard, but when it came to his beloved beverage, you could only hope his excessive defense would drop even for a bit.

“You’ll pay for this.” He said in a rather ominous tone, briefly erasing the thoughts from your mind.

“O-of course!” You nodded, returning your attention to the unfinished wrapping of his eye. Going about three more times over it, you tucked the loose ends in the back, making sure that it was secure enough. “So, you are coming?”

He sighed, rolling his eye ever so slightly. Success!

Unable to contain your excitement, you flashed a smile at him. Today would be so much fun. Even if he got mad about you disrespecting his wishes, he was bound to forgive that little scheme once he got to see the actual surprise you’d planned. Or at least, so you hoped.

Leaning closer to his face, you pressed your lips softly against his bandaged eye, earning yet another annoyed scoff from him.

I’m sorry, Shinsuke. But this is the only way.

“All set, let’s go!”

Surprisingly enough, Takasugi seemed to be in a far better mood when you met up on the docks. Once you’d finished fixing his bandages, he went back to his own room, giving you time to change into something nicer. After all, you wanted to look pretty on his birthday. A light blue kimono decorated by cherry blossoms was your outfit of choice, paired with a silky pink obi. Your hair was shaped in a slightly excessive updo style, kept together by a dark blue hairpin.

On second thought, maybe this was too much for a walk in the city, a fact that he also took notice in.

“You look…” He furrowed his eyebrows, seemingly searching for the right words.

“Weird? Is it too much? Should I get changed?”

“No. Just…” He walked closer, leaning as close to your face as his hat would allow. “Pretty.”

You had to suppress the urge to attach yourself onto his arm, with your entire face lighting up at his comment. Maybe if you were alone, he wouldn’t mind, but in front of all his comrades, he still had to keep appearances up. It’s fine, you’d have enough time to show your affection for him later on. For now, moving things according to the plan matters more.

On the way to the city, the two of you walked side by side, the conversation unsurprisingly falling back to the topic of work and his goals. If one thing about Takasugi remained the same in all those years, that was his tendency to throw himself into his personal aspirations, which was basically another word for ‘workaholic’. Still, you were never bothered by that. This was one of his many charms.

Things on board had been quiet for the most part, and so when he asked you if anything interesting had occurred, you didn’t have much to say. Truth was, you spent more time inside the ship than he did. While Takasugi was busy going from spaceship to spaceship, personally handling the meetings with the Harusame, you stayed back, the main focus of your job being babysitting the new recruits.

Still, it wasn’t as if you could complain. Your communication skills rather outmatched your battle prowess. If anything, you’d be dead weight on the battlefield. Besides, the majority of the time, there was always a funny story to be shared with him.

This week’s story involved one of the newest members of the Kiheitai, the son of a farmer who’d joined about two months ago, eager to serve the cause even when that meant leaving the warmth of his home behind. For the most part, he seemed to adjust well enough, if one overlooked the whole Matako incident.

“What is the Matako incident?” Takasugi inquired with an already entertained expression. He was well aware of how ridiculous such stories could get.

The infamous Matako incident was a series of events that followed Takasugi’s latest trip to one of those planets with over ten syllables in their names. While he was gone, there was a small gathering to celebrate one of your most recent alliances with another mercenary tribe. As expected, everyone was in a joyful mood, drinking perhaps more than they could handle.

One of those people was the new recruit, who’d drunk until he could barely stand on two feet, slurring and bumping his way closer to your table. At first, you thought he needed something, but when he dropped onto his knees before Matako, you knew what was up. A love confession followed, with the man struggling to express his sincere feelings. At the end, all he managed to do was throw up all over her skirt, resulting in the blonde firing bullets at his feet until he dropped into the sea.

Takasugi snickered out loud, his right eye falling shut while he laughed.

“The poor guy was bedridden for an entire week after that.” You chimed in with a chuckle of your own. “Matako refuses to apologize and he hasn’t even looked her way since. What a tragedy.”

“I told you not to let fools aboard.”

“He is not half bad with a sword. Plus, I do understand where he’s coming from.”

“Fools tend to relate to one another.” Takasugi sneered, earning a playful nudge to his shoulder.

“That’s not it!” You protested. “It reminds me of how hard I tried to make you like me back then.”

“Hmm? There was no need for you to try.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I wonder…” He smirked, the tone of his voice rather suggestive.

Before you could ask further questions, Takasugi stopped walking, making you realize that you were standing right outside Edo Mart. Damn, all this mindless talking had you completely forget about your plan. If you went yakult shopping this early, then everything would fall apart.

Sliding in front of him, you extended both hands and legs in a dramatic manner to block his entrance. Perplexed, Takasugi tried to move past you, yet you stood in the way again. His confusion progressively shifted to annoyance, and you knew you had to say something, or else things would take a turn for the worse.

Bringing your arms to your stomach, you put your best strained expression on, making it seem as if you were in severe pain.

“Can’t we get something to eat first? My stomach is killing me.” You protested, keeping up the tormented grimace.

“I’ll let you have one of the yakult.” He argued, attempting to push past, when you clung onto him with both hands, pressing your face against his chest as if you were about to faint.

“It’ll be too late by then… please, let us get some food now.” You pleaded with teary eyes.

With a sigh, Takasugi pulled you back on both feet, briefly glancing around him. Except for a few exiting customers, no one seemed to notice the dramatic scene unfolding right in front of their eyes. The last thing you wanted was for people to realize that the two of you were wanted terrorists with a large bounty placed over your heads. But then again, who would assume that terrorists went yakult shopping in broad daylight?

Indulging your whims, Takasugi stepped away from the door, letting you lead him to wherever it was you wanted to go. One would assume that your destination would be some sort of food selling vendor or restaurant. So when the two of you came to stand outside a pastry shop, naturally, he failed to hide his own surprise.

“You need cake to quench your hunger?”

At this point, making stuff up was becoming second nature. Surely it was getting ridiculous, but what else could you do?

“Well… I heard cake is a good counter to nausea.” Plus, a birthday celebration with no cake just doesn’t feel right.

“I told you to quit exchanging letters with that idiot.” At the mention of your childhood friend, Takasugi clenched his jaw, despite him being the one to bring him up.

“It’s not that, it’s just that I… damn, I feel nauseous again.” You feigned dizziness, with your hand covering your mouth.

Following your gesture, Takasugi seemed to be taking your theatrics more seriously. Inspecting you from head to toe, you felt his stare pierce right through you, an expression of visible dread overtaking his features.

“Y/N. Don’t tell me you…” He insinuated with a hushed voice.

“What?” It was then that you realized how he’d been fixated on your belly all along.

“What?! Of course not, that’s not it!” You assured him, frantically waving your hands up and down as if to erase his suspicions. “I just can’t remember the last time I had cake and well I… uh…” Even now, he didn’t seem fully convinced that an unplanned pregnancy wasn’t behind today’s shenanigans.

“Be right back!” You yelled, throwing yourself into the store as fast as possible.

Just how much worse could things get already?

Not long after, you came out of the door with a sole piece of strawberry shortcake in hand. Had you opted for more than that, he’d most definitely grow suspicious, if he weren’t already, that was.

Though reluctant at first, Takasugi agreed to take a seat for as long as you ate your dessert, settling down at a table by the door. For a guy that was hunted down by the entire police force of Edo, he seemed overly relaxed, with his head hanging back and his legs stretched underneath the table. Perhaps all those recent diplomatic meetings had finally taken their toll.

“Feeling any better?” He asked, peering at you through his half-shut eye.

“Mhm, much better!” You grinned, pushing yet another spoonful past your lips. “Want some?”

He was about to say something regarding sugar rush and idiotic samurais, when you stuffed his mouth with cake. Your gesture most definitely caught him off guard, a muffled grunt evading him as he stubbornly pursed his lips around the spoon. In the end, he was left with no other choice but to swallow.

“How is it?” You asked as he took the spoon off your hands.

“Edible.”

You chuckled, pushing the cake towards the center of the table. No matter his lackluster comment, it was obvious that the dessert was to his liking, with his spoon stealing bites off the plate every now and then. Your first objective was completed.

“So, what was it that you liked about me?” You dropped your spoon, leaving the remaining bits for him to dig in. “You said I didn’t need to put in any effort.”

“I figured that if I left you behind, you’d probably die on your own.” Takasugi shrugged, a smirk appearing on his lips the moment he picked up on your pouty expression. “That and because… you prove to me there are still things to be preserved.”

“I do?”

“You still don’t get it? This planet is a home for idiots. At least one should remain to upkeep traditions. A pure-hearted idiot like you would do just fine.”

You weren’t sure if he meant to compliment or insult you. Knowing him, the one went hand in hand with the other.

“You really look down on me.”

“Do I?” He teased, licking the cream off his spoon. “Don’t worry. At the end of the world, I’d feel much more confident caving in the arms of said idiot.”

Once Takasugi finished his cake, the two of you hit the road, resuming your original yakult replenishment quest. Or at least, that’s what he thought. The day was far from over and so were your plans.

After a while of strolling through the streets of Edo, the wonderful scent of lavender led you to a local flower shop. Admittedly, this wasn’t part of your schedule, but when you came to remember those sorry daisies from back then, you figured that a bouquet would add a nice little touch.

“Shinsuke?”

His ears perked up at the sound of his name.

“Can we stop for some flowers? I want my room to be a bit more lively.”

Rather than giving you an answer, he gestured towards the door. You had to admit, he was far more agreeable than you’d expect him to be.

Considering the impulsive nature of your purchase and the large variety the store provided, making a choice was rather difficult. Roses smelled divine, but they were too much of a cliché. Spider lilies were beautiful, yet a symbol of death. Clenching your fingers around your purse, you found yourself unable to make up your mind, despite the florist being eager to assist.

Just as you were about to go for one of the more ordinary assortments, a bouquet reminiscent of the one you once gave him caught your attention. Perhaps revisiting the past wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

Back then you had been too eager for the both of you to forget, yet now you couldn’t help but wonder whether he remembered or not.

“Daisies…” He smirked, picking at one of the petals with his thumb and index. “Aren’t you a bit too old to be plucking flowers?”

Holding the bouquet out of his reach, you scoffed right in his face.

“I don’t need to do that to be certain of your affections.”

A muffled chuckle followed your words. Despite neither of you willingly admitting to it, bickering with one another like this had always been a welcome break from the harsh reality. Such were some of the memories you treasured the most.

“What’s next?” Takasugi asked, seemingly having given up on the idea of yakult shopping.

You looked at the sky; the sun beamed at its peak. There was still time for you to pick his actual gift up, though perhaps it’d be better to get it sooner than later.

With a smile, you took a step forward, pouring back into the streets side by side.

Noticeably, the pace of your steps had slowed down, with Takasugi stealing glances at the windows of the shops. He didn’t seem particularly interested in making a purchase, though he did end up buying some tobacco for his kiseru. Shopping with him like that made it seem as if things were back to what they used to be, with the two of you looking like an ordinary every-day couple.

At times, you did muse over what it’d be like to lead a normal life with him. Had the outcome of the war been different, would things also be different between you? Would he end up making an honest living without having to look over his shoulder? Would you be leading the kind of life your family hoped for? Would the five of you gather up and share drinks like you once did?

Though such a life was enticing, it was far from reality. No matter how many chances you were given at a normal life, you’d always choose life on the run as long as that meant you got to run with him.

After a while of browsing the stores, you reached the entrance of a workshop, one that belonged to an acclaimed artisan. Naturally, figuring out a suitable present for Takasugi involved hours upon hours of you bending and twisting your brain around his personality and interests. Unlike back then, he wasn’t just a mere friend to you anymore. He was the man you shared your life with; your gift had to reflect as much, and that was how you came to pick said artisan for the job.

“I placed an order a while back. Mind if I grab it real quick?”

He shook his head dismissively, settling against the wall.

Your entrance was followed by the high-pitched ring of the doorbell, its sound notifying the owner. He was a man in his late 50’s, with a prominent jaw and a receding hairline of gray color being among his more striking features. Upon seeing you, his marble-like eyes lit up in recognition, a most welcoming expression carved into his face.

Luckily, he cut straight to the chase, ushering you to follow him to the back where he kept his creations. Though small, his desk overflowed with all sorts of items, from time-worn clocks and antiques, to complex jewelry and sword handles. That was one of Edo’s most versatile artists for you.

The man went through the piles of objects until he fished out a shimmering handguard. You took a step closer to inspect it, the gold color twinkling within your orbs. It looked exactly as you’d pictured it, if not better. The wings of the butterfly were perfectly engraved, identical to the ones his yukata sported. It was perfect, it really was.

Satisfied with the results, you thanked the man, slipping the money across the busied counter before making your way outside.

“I wasn’t late, was I?” You asked Takasugi, smiling at the sight of him.

Perhaps you were more excited about this than he’d be, though you could only hope the gift appealed to his tastes.

He turned to face you, with his arm lazily hanging out of his yukata. Approaching him, you quickly shoved the handguard inside your obi, concealing it from him. This was not the time nor place for him to receive his present.

“Only about a hundred years too late.” He scoffed, pulling away from the wall.

“My deepest apologies, supreme governor general-sama!” You clasped your hands together.

Irked by your comment, he was about to scold you over the excessive use of formalities, when a third voice chimed in, catching you both off guard.

“Takasugi! You won’t be getting away this time!” A young man with chestnut colored hair roared, aiming at you with a bazooka from within a car. The Shinsengumi!

Before you could react on your own, your hand was clenched in Takasugi’s as the two of you ran through the streets. A shot followed, the cries of the passersby echoing in your stead.

There was no time for you to look back, with the man quite literally dragging you into a maze of back alleys. The passage was too narrow for the police vehicles to pass, yet you both knew how they’d stop at nothing to get to him.

For a second, you were tempted to shake him off, aware that he had a better chance running on his own. It was because of you that he’d gotten himself involved in this mess. You shouldn’t have been so naïve as to think that such a leisurely time in the city was still an option, yet not for one moment did he let go of you. Even if your body gave out, he’d keep the two of you moving no matter the cost. That’s just who he was.

After entering what seemed to be the millionth alleyway, you spotted what appeared to be the beginning of a forest, a series of pine trees popping behind the final rooftops. Normally you’d hate to ruin your newly bought kimono with mud and twigs, but you were left with no choice. It was hide or fight and, admittedly, you stood no chance like this.

Takasugi was the first one to go, creating a path for you with his bare hand. Using a sword would be easier, though that'd leave an obvious trail for your pursuers to follow. It had been so long since you had heard a siren or a gunshot, but it was still too soon to rest assured. You had to keep going, and so you did, until the trees thinned out to an open field.

Surprisingly enough, you’d ended up standing right above the city, having a perfect view of the streets you previously roamed, as well as the docks. Somehow after all that running, you’d come closer to your starting point than before.

While you were busy inspecting the area below, Takasugi let go of your hand, his back disappearing past the rows of trees as he attempted to survey around.

What a disaster, you thought to yourself, wincing at your own stupidity. Had you gone to Edo Mart as planned; had you purchased the gift in advance, you wouldn’t be finding yourself in such a mess.

It was pure luck that your kimono suffered no heavy damage, other a couple of attached leaves, that was. At least you both survived, and so did the-

Where is the gift?

Throwing your hands all over your body, you patted down at the fabric, attempting to locate the handguard. You definitely remembered placing it inside your obi right before the chase ensued, but it was there no more. Not just that; somewhere along the line, your fingers let go of the bouquet. This really was an all-for-nothing disaster.

“Looking for this?” Takasugi asked, holding an object right above his head.

The handguard!

“You know, had I known of your scheming skills in prior, I’d have you replace Takechi.” He semi—jokingly said as he slowly made his way towards you.

“Next time you try to deceive someone, better make sure your lies check out. I can’t believe you don’t even know how many refrigerators we have on board.”

It seemed like even before the two of you set out on your little adventure, he knew all along. He knew, yet he’d willingly followed through on your plan as if he didn’t.

Sighing, you brought your hands to your face, brushing them over your eyes.

“I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t think it would end like this, I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“It’s fine. Let those filthy dogs chase after their own tails.”

“They lost us?” You asked, receiving a nod as a reply.

The safety of you two mattered more than a stupid birthday present, though that didn’t prevent him from triumphantly waving it in front of your face.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

He shrugged, a hint of a smirk trembling upon his lips.

“I was curious to see how far you’d go. Besides, leaving you unsupervised would lead to you doing more stupid things, wouldn’t it?”

“Well…” There was not much to be said, considering you were responsible for the outcome. “I suppose you are right.” Your voice was so meek, with your eyes looking at him like a puppy in the rain.

“All I wanted was to surprise you, but I couldn’t even manage to do something as simple.”

“You surprised me plenty.” He argued back, his gaze falling back at the handguard.

“I had this one made for you. I know that after everything, celebrating birthdays must be about the last thing on your mind, but…” You coughed, clearing your throat. “But you can’t prevent me from celebrating the birthday of the man I love. Such a day is precious to me, just like each and every day we get to spend together. I am grateful for all those days, I am grateful that you were born and I am grateful that I got to meet you.

“Shinsuke, you aren’t a samurai who only destroys. So far, you’ve been able to protect me through everything with that sword of yours, putting your soul on the line more times that I can count. This isn’t much, but hopefully it’s enough to protect you too.”

Your speech left him speechless, as he sheepishly stared into your eyes. No malice, no gratitude, no nothing.

“But uh, there is no need for you to use it if you don’t like it! You’ve been going without one for years, so perhaps you find no use for it and I could always return-”

In a rapid movement Takasugi unsheathed his sword, cutting through the air and your words in half.

“Has no one told you that asking for a gift back is rude?” He scoffed, installing the handguard at the base of the sword. Thankfully, it seemed to be a perfect fit.

Once he was done looking at it, making sure that it wouldn’t fall out, he attached his sword back to his hip.

“So you like it?”

Flashing a smile at you, Takasugi moved closer until no distance remained between you. With his hand reaching forward, he cupped your cheek ever so softly, a callused thumb rubbing at your skin as he gazed into your eyes. Somehow you’d forgotten all about your question, falling victim to his charms all over again like you always did.

“I love it.” He breathed his answer right before he claimed your lips with his.

You closed your eyes, finding comfort in the warmth of his mouth and the certainty of his touch. It didn’t matter how long you’d been running or how far the Shinsengumi had chased you. This moment right here made it worth the trouble. He was worth the trouble.

“Happy Birthday.” You whispered on top of his lips, feeling them stretch into yet another smile.

Even when he pulled away from the kiss, he didn’t pull away from you. His hand kept holding you in place, while the rough edge of his hat bumped against your forehead.

“Next time you are definitely paying for this.”

The rest of the afternoon went by in relative peace. Somehow you were able to avoid any further run-ins with the Shinsengumi, the sole sign of a police vehicle being the distant echo of a faraway siren. Even so, Takasugi seemed to be on the edge, with his fingers itching to grab the hilt of his sword at the slightest of sounds. Considering everything that went down, you could hardly blame him. Besides, you were too preoccupied fawning over his sword’s new appearance, feeling all giddy that he got to carry a part of you everywhere he went.

After a while of trailing through the city, the two of you managed to reach the docks. Your feet were borderline killing you, making you wish that Takasugi offered you a ride on his back like he did when you were children. Of course you never dared to ask such a thing, especially when he’d spent more than half the day glaring at you. This was far from the ideal birthday you’d planned in your brain. You hated to admit it, but there was still so much for you to learn in terms of scheming.

By the time you set foot on the ship, the sun was fully submerged into the waters below, leaving nothing but a lovely shade of saturated orange behind. Though you didn’t mind traveling through space, sunsets in Edo were a sight you would never forsake. There was no place like home.

“Ahh, what a fun day!” You exclaimed, stretching both arms above your head.

Takasugi closed the door behind you, undoing the strings of his hat.

“Fun… well, that’s a way to put it.”

You watched as he leaned against the dresser, setting his hat and sword aside.

“Come on! The weather was nice, the cake was nice, the flowers were nice, the gift was nice”

You pointed at each of your fingers as if you meant to count through every positive happening of the day, only hesitating when you reached your pinky.

“You were nice.”

He tilted his head, his lips curling into a crooked smile.

“Suggesting that I normally aren’t?”

To count all the times he glared, threatened or even killed someone these past few days, you were in need of at least three sets of extra arms. Despite that, you knew better than to consider Takasugi the evil bastard terrorist that the Bakufu and the rest of his enemies made him out to be. To count all the times he’d smiled at you, all the times he’d saved you, all those times when you’d felt as if your entire world had collapsed only to find yourself in his arms; to properly count those times, you’d need more fingers than the entire Kiheitai had to offer.

“Hmm… You have your moments."

He seemed satisfied enough with your answer, his expression softening up as the two of you shared a look. Words meant nothing when your eyes spoke for themselves, one’s image etched into the eyes of the other, adorned by sheer adoration that neither of you bothered to hide. Behind closed doors, there was no reason to.

“I’d better go get some rest.” You mumbled, a forced yawn breaking through the tension.

It wasn’t that you felt particularly sleepy, but after spending the entire day with him, he was bound to have at least a few unfinished tasks to tend to. A day of mindless fun was not enough to switch his work habits.

You were about to return to your own room when, all of a sudden, the door fell shut before you, a palm preventing it from opening.

“Oi, oi. Where do you think you are going? " Takasugi taunted with a sultry voice.

“My room?” You peered over your shoulder, a curtain of dark purple blocking your vision.

“I thought you wanted to celebrate my birthday. Go on, celebrate it. Day’s not over yet.”

The way he looked at you was enough for you to understand what “celebrating his birthday” implied. Such an amorous look was only preserved for you, with his green hue undressing a little less than your soul and a little more than your body.

Even without touching you, the attraction between your bodies was palpable, drawing the two of you closer together. His hands that constantly ached for a fight were now aching to hold you, and who were you to deny him?

The moment you turned around, you caught sight of a victorious grin, both of you aware of what was to follow. You rolled your eyes playfully, unable to hide your own smile as your hand reached forward. Grabbing a fistful of fabric, you pulled Takasugi down to you, until his body met yours and your lips met his. He sighed softly, his fingers dropping from the door around your waist, capturing you in a tight embrace free of any reservation.

You surrendered yourself to his touch, letting go of his yukata’s collar while his grip only tightened, pinning both your bodies against the door. Unlike the unbearable summer heat, his warmth was more than welcoming, enveloping your entire body down to your hips and thighs. You felt feverish, throwing your arms over his shoulders for him to take over.

Takasugi drew your bottom lip between his teeth, languidly lapping his wet tongue over it before sliding it into your mouth. You tilted your head to the side, a soft hum dissolving at the tip of your tongue as you explored each other's mouth anew. Even when you had memorized his taste, you couldn’t help yourself but seek more of it, completely in love with everything his body had to offer you.

The lack of air had your head spinning around, your only source of oxygen being that of his lungs; the only one you ever needed. With his hips pressing your waist down, he made a mess out of your thighs, your slick entrance drooling for him to fill you up in every way imaginable. Perhaps offering yourself to him as a gift would have been a far better choice than all this running around, you decided, gently bucking your hips forward.

Regrettably, Takasugi was the first to pull away, his sharp breath tickling your nose and lips. Through half-lidded eyes, you took in each other’s image, lust clouding both your features while you drew air from one another, avoiding to close the distance just yet.

His hands reached lower onto your body, possessing your every bit, with your own hand dropping down to his chest. You felt how frantically his heart beat for you, just for you. Time and time again you came to realize that this heart, this body, this man… they all belonged to you. Even if the two of you came to lose everything, you’d still be each other’s most prized possessions, a fact that not even revenge could forsake.

“What are you smirking for?” He asked with a smirk of his own.

Shaking your head, you guided him into another kiss, quick to wipe that cocky expression off his face. Whether you confronted him or not, he’d never admit to being wrapped around your finger, though there was no need to. The way his body reacted to your own spoke volumes, with his mouth granting you access once more and his hips utterly attuned to yours.

In no time, his hands were tugging at your obi, each string of your kimono coming undone between his fingers. You felt the fabric loosen up around your curves, the expensive silk curling into a ball across the tatami.

Left in nothing but your undergarment, you were exposed to his touch, fire spreading through every part his fingers came to brush. You leaned forward until your lips found his neck, smearing open-mouthed kisses all over. He was always the one to mark you with his mouth, acting as if he wanted the whole world to know you were his and only his. It was about time you returned that favor.

Parting your lips, you pursed them at the base of his neck, sucking at his skin until his pale complexion turned into a bright shade of red. Perhaps he’d have a hard time covering that one up, a fact that filled you with unprecedented pride. No future scolding or frowning could take that away from you, though at the moment, he seemed too preoccupied to even care, attempting to fill his hands with as much of you as he possibly could.

Satisfied with the result, you puckered your lips up, peppering gentle kisses down his collar bone, while you held onto his shoulders for support. You couldn’t help but notice how he felt stiffer than usual, your fingertips bumping across the various knots that his muscles formed. Your previous assumptions seemed to be correct, all those exhausting work meetings had taken their toll on his health at last, leaving him nearly drained.

You pulled away from him, catching your own reflection in his eye. Even when the things you were doing were far from innocent, there was a certain purity in his gaze, as for once, the thing his right eye saw had nothing to do with torment, turmoil, or vengeance; tranquil passion having cleansed all that.

Slowly, you brought your other hand to his cheek, watching as he pressed a feather-light kiss in the center of your palm. Your heart skipped a beat, seemingly forgetting all about the words you wanted to share with him. Fucking hell, he had no business looking this lovable, you pondered.

“Let me take care of you.” You requested, brushing a couple of disheveled purple strands off his eye.

Though skeptical at first, Takasugi came to agree, leading you both towards his futon. In a theatrical move, he lifted both hands, prompting you to strip him off his clothes. Snaking your arms around his torso, you took advantage of the position, placing your head on top of his shoulder while your hands worked on undoing his obi. The blue fabric dropped onto the floor, with his purple yukata following soon after.

For a second, you caught yourself gawking at his bare body, your eyes trailing the entirety of him up and down. Thin white lines sprawled across his near flawless complexion, remnants of past conflicts and nearly forgotten treacheries. His body that was hardened by battle and shaped by hardship, remained the most beautiful thing your eyes encountered, a spectacle only second to the sublime features of his face.

Even after all these years, you found it hard to believe that someone had the power of making you feel as if you were experiencing them for the first time all over again, yet Takasugi managed to do just that.

Before he had the chance to reprimand you over your excessive stalling, you brought both hands against his chest, pushing him down onto the covers with great force. At once, his green orb narrowed into a perfect slit, sheer fury taking over his expression. You fought the urge to laugh, ultimately failing to suppress a high pitched giggle that sneaked past your lips.

For most, receiving such a menacing glare from the leader of the Kiheitai meant certain death, yet to you, it only made your heart flutter within your chest. How could you feel any dread when he looked just like that stubborn kid you’d countless of times sparred with in the past?

All funny thoughts dissolved the moment his hand found yours, forcing you to violently crash on top of him. Even then, you couldn’t quite stop laughing at his frown, only pausing to press a hasty kiss atop his crinkled nose. I love you so much, Takasugi Shinsuke. So damn much.

Ignoring his silent protest, you lowered yourself down his thighs, making sure your hands could still reach his upper body. In reality, you’d never attempted to give him, or anyone else for that matter, a massage, though when you came to see how tense he was, you couldn’t possibly turn a blind eye. You wished to bring him some relief, just as he had so many times done for you.

Taking a deep breath, you placed both palms flat over his chest, slowly dragging them up and down his shoulders. You started by applying pressure to your wrists, rolling them hard against his stiffened muscles.

Takasugi began to relax, his scoffing giving way to a contented expression. As promised, he refrained from touching you, with his emerald orb slowly disappearing behind his eyelid. You kept on kneading his hardened skin, gathering all strength on your fingertips as you rubbed him thoroughly, glancing up lest you hurt him.

With each stroke, he appeared more delighted than before, his low breathing producing a sort of melodic sound. You were pleased to see him enjoy himself, though maintaining your movements was quite tiresome for your inexperienced hands. Still, you tried your best to switch both the pace and the pressure up, overextending your little massage session as much as possible for his sake.

Distracted by your technique, you failed to notice how you’d been grinding against his crotch all along. Each time you pushed against him, your hips would follow, pressing down against his over and over again, until a hoarse moan disrupted his once steady breathing.

You froze in place, your eyes quick to spot the red shadow that bloomed across his cheeks. Perhaps the massage was far from being the only reason behind his delight, you realized once you glanced at the solid tent between your thighs.

“Looks like your shoulders aren’t the only stiff thing about you.” You teased, softly palming his clothed erection.

“Go on, then. Take care of that too.” Takasugi cooed, his hands softly brushing over your knees as he compelled you to keep going.

Your fingers worked on undoing the knots of his fundoshi, at last setting him free. His cock sprung between your palms, already at its full length. Slowly, you traced over a vein, your fingers closing in once you reached the head. His reddened tip was already glistening with precum for you, eagerly awaiting to disappear within one of your needy holes.

Drawing your thumb over it, you spread his thick essence all over, inducing a muffled sigh to fall out of Takasugi's lips. You loved how sensitive he was to your touch. Even when getting him to this state wasn't your intention, you couldn't help but smile knowing how hard you'd gotten him.

Bringing a second hand down his length, you clenched your fingers into a pair of fists, firmly pumping him up and down. His size made it hard for your palms to cover all of him, but your gestures compensated plenty for that. Your right hand remained below his head; four fingers lightly twisting around him, with your thumb repeatedly brushing over his tip. At the same time, your left hand came to cup his balls, another moan failing to remain within his lips.

Though Takasugi had never been particularly vocal as a lover, when you were stimulating him like that, it was impossible for him to keep to himself.

“Hm, this doesn’t seem to be working.” You noted once you heard him curse out loud. “If anything, you are stiffer than before… Should I try something different?” You asked, your hands stopping only for a moment.

Despite his eye being shut for the majority of your playtime, he was now watching your every move with bated breath. Slowly, you let go of his cock, bringing your hands between your thighs to pick your undergarment off the way. He wanted you to expose yourself so badly, yet for now he was content with merely glancing at the hardened peaks your nipples formed below the creamy linen.

You lined your hips with his own before finally, sinking down onto him, his entire cock sheathing deep within your gummy walls. His grunt was overshadowed by your moan, the sensation of being whole enough to make you shudder. He was stretching you so good while all you could do was gush over him, your womb aching to be filled to the brim with his seed.

It was his turn to smirk, your reaction bringing him great amusement. Normally he'd be the one to push you down, pleasuring the both of you until your lips could barely shape his name, but for the time, he remained perfectly still. He loved to see you struggle, knowing that even when you'd been together since you were teens, you were still overwhelmed by him.

“Something wrong?” He asked in a condescending tone, conveniently forgetting all about how a moment ago he was the one to lose himself in your hands.

“N-nothing at all.” You stuttered as you attempted to regain your composure. If you gave him the chance, he’d overthrow you without thinking twice.

Dropping your palms back onto his chest, you raised your hips, figuring that it’d be easier for you to keep going with just the tip inside. At a slow pace, you rocked your body against him, sensually drawing circles with your hips all the while maintaining eye contact. His smirk persisted, the only sign to betray his true feelings being that of his fingers as they clenched around the covers below.

“Something wrong?” You taunted in the same tone he used, taking full advantage of his vulnerability.

Takasugi let go of the sheets, bringing both hands around your hips.

“Nothing at all.” He answered with greater confidence.

Even with his fingers gripping you, he didn’t do as much as to guide you in any way. He merely held you in place, patiently awaiting for you to pick your pace back up. Besides, your little mind games brought him plenty entertainment already.

At a much slower pace than before, you repeated the same movements, fully aware of the fact that his patience was gradually wearing thin. You weren’t even sure whether you actually meant to take care of him or test your limits anymore, seemingly achieving both. Either way, you could tell you weren’t the only one having fun with this.

Biting down your lip, you lowered your hips, allowing a little more than half of him to sink into you. It took every bit of self-restraint not to go all the way, your own juices making it easier for him to get sucked deeper into your pussy.

Reaching a hand behind your back, you found the base of his shaft with your fingers, keeping it steady enough for you to lightly bounce onto it. Takasugi pressed his lips together in a straight line, with his fingertips applying slightly more pressure than before. He didn’t cave in just yet, though when your fingers traced over his balls, he couldn’t help but dig his fingertips right into your skin, a bruising sure to follow.

Motivated by his reaction, you tried to sync the movement of your fingers to the movement of your hips, bouncing faster when inevitably, his cock slipped outside your lips. You looked down, hesitating to drive him back in.

Shamelessly, you brought the tip to your slit, wetting it enough for you to glide it over your throbbing clit. A delirious whine evaded your lips, the delicious feeling clouding your mind as you frantically tapped the two together. Even when tonight was all about him, there was no way for you to help yourself, not when it felt so damn good.

Having had enough for the moment, you were about to go back to riding him, when Takasugi rammed his dick so hard into you, that you had no choice but to collapse against his chest, your cry making him chuckle.

“That’s unfair!” You pouted, attempting to lift yourself back up.

“Unfair?” He whispered. “Unfair was having to go all day long without doing this.”

Before you could ask what ‘this’ meant, you felt his hands crawl down your butt, forcing your bodies to grind against each other.

“Why would I need another gift when I can have you, hm?”

The newfound bliss caused your vision to go blurry, the thoughts in your brain replaced by the sole sensation of his cock twitching deep within your heat. Had he asked you earlier, then maybe you’d have an answer to his question, but right now all you could do was bite down at your lip, while he hit all the right spots.

To your surprise, he appeared in no hurry to chase after his much awaited high, merely enjoying the warmth you offered him. Placing two fingers below your chin, he compelled you to look at him, a loving smile erased by your lips. His hands pulled away from your rear, Takasugi allowing you the freedom to move around. Losing yourself in yet another kiss, you claimed his cheeks with your palms, your tongue meeting his while he snaked his arms around your waist.

Tears formed at the corner of your eyes, slipping past your shut eyelids as you both moved against each other, fucking one another in sync with your kiss. Even when it felt like your heart was about to explode, you couldn’t bring yourself to move away from him, relishing every last bit of his body.

“You are more than enough.” He refused to let go, mumbling the words straight into your mouth. “You are mine.” His teeth tugged at your lower lip, before cushioning it all over again. “Mine.”

His sudden confession made your eyes widen, the sheer possessiveness of his voice sending chills down your spine. You always thought that you were the one who chased after him, though right now you were finally able to feel how tight his embrace was, a certain desperation pouring into his kisses as if he feared you’d slip away from his grasp.

“Shinsuke, I-” You began, only to be hushed by yet another kiss.

“Let me handle things from now on.” He said, completely inebriated.

With a small nod, you ushered him to take action, not caring about who got to take care of whom anymore. All you wanted was to finally become one with him.

A swift move of his was all it took to bring you down, your undergarment flying off your body. It was his turn to gawk at you, a slight smile hanging from his lips once he got to savor what you’d kept from him for so long.

The bandages over his head had come undone, their edges drenched by his own sweat. You reached to his face, pulling them out of the way when he claimed your fingers in his palm, pressing your hand down onto the futon. He had no intention of letting you lift as much as a finger.

Once more, he turned the tables on you as he rolled onto his side, pulling your back tight against his chest. With no distance left between your bodies, Takasugi snaked his arms around your waist, one hand spreading your legs open and the other cupping your breast. He kneaded at your soft skin, flicking both your nipples between his fingers, while his lips traveled to your nape, smearing your back with hot kisses.

With his fingers locking behind your knee, Takasugi steadied it around his torso, opening your body for him as much as possible. Unable to resist, you brought your hand between your thighs, gently rubbing circles over your swollen clit. Even when you hadn't had a drop of alcohol, the feeling of being utterly engulfed by him made your head spin.

Sighs evaded your lips one after the other, your fingers clenching around his bandage, while you kept on pleasuring yourself, continuously chanting his name. He was the only one who could make you feel so good, even when the fingers that touched you were yours and not his.

Once he had enough of groping you, Takasugi lowered you onto him, adjusting your position so that he could comfortably penetrate you. His cock brushed over your entrance, eager to slide past your pink lips. Nodding in confirmation, you nestled your head into the crook of his neck, breathing into the faint yet intoxicating scent of sandalwood and cedar. Despite everything, he still smelled so nice.

Taking in your blissful expression, he caressed your hair softly before finally pushing his way in. A strangled sound dropped from your lips as you bit down onto his skin, unable to contain yourself.

“Relax” He muttered in a mellow tone as he thrusted again, earning himself another of your pretty whines.

Each moan of yours sounded like the finest of melodies to his ears, knowing that each whimper was meant for him and him only. Perhaps he relished your reactions more than anything, fixating his pace according to the pitch of your voice. The louder you cried, the harder he went, ferociously rutting his hips in you as if there was no tomorrow.

His hand dropped from your knee onto your stomach, traveling down to your clit. Without disrupting his movements, Takasugi started to rub at it like you previously did, causing your entire body to jolt at the stimulation. Your moans turned into a series of desperate cries as you squirmed on top of him, unsure of whether you were trying to cling harder or to run from the overwhelming pleasure he offered.

“Look at me.”

He instructed in the same gentle voice and you followed, meekly gazing up at him as his lips took over yours. He didn’t care that all you were capable of doing was drool over his jaw, too fucked up to reciprocate the kiss. All he wanted to do was claim your sounds as his own, letting none of them go to waste, swallowing each and every one of them.

Soon, the only sound to remain in his room was that of your cunt squelching, eagerly taking the pounding he gave you. Your hands grabbed at one of his arms, holding onto him while ushering him to go faster. He grunted at the sound of your words, mercilessly keeping it up until your walls started to clamp around his cock.

His pace grew sloppy at the sensation of your cunt clenching around him. You could feel your own legs shaking, pure ecstasy spreading all the way down to your curled up toes, while he chased after his own climax. He was so focused that thin lines were formed upon his forehead, with his brows furrowed together.

"I love you"

Those three little words were all it took for Takasugi to fall out of pace. Thick ropes of his hot seed came pouring into your guts, filling your insides to the brim. His strained expression was completely relaxed when he dived forward, capturing your lips in yet another desperate kiss. Those words that he never allowed himself to say, were easily conveyed by his touch, assuring you that he was as utterly in love with you as you were with him.

Eventually, he pulled away from your mouth, though he remained attached to you in every way possible. His cock was still buried within you, loosely fucking his cum deeper into your hole, until he had no choice but to go limp. You felt his warm essence pouring down your thighs, clinging onto your skin just like he did. His arms remained wrapped around you, holding your body as close to his own as possible. There was nowhere else you’d rather be.

“I’m so happy you were born.” You broke through the silence, once you’d managed to regain your voice.

A hearty laugh followed, with his lips softly pressing onto your forehead.

“Are you now?” In less than a heartbeat you nodded against him, completely certain of your feelings on the matter.

“I guess your birth was one of the less unfortunate events in this world.” He admitted, going back to his usual snarky self.

Too elated to stoop to his level, you nuzzled your head into his chest, your arms caging him within your tight embrace. The light had completely faded from the room, with only the moon attempting to illuminate the space. Mindlessly, Takasugi caressed your shoulder with his thumb, while you hummed a soft tune, one that turned out to be none other than the happy birthday song. Skipping pretty much through all the lyrics, the only words you came to intonate were “my darling commander” right before the end.

“You make it sound as if you only sleep with me for my title.” He scoffed, though not particularly bothered.

Angling your chin to face him, you spared one of your brightest smiles.

“Of course not… my darling Shinsuke.” He was quick to dismiss you by tapping your forehead with his palm, doing his best to disguise his own smile with a hasty frown.

“I never thought someone could actually be fucked silly, but you seem to have lost every bit of common sense.” He mocked, too prideful to ever accept such a term of endearment from your lips. “Now go fetch me my pipe. I need a smoke if I am to tolerate you a second longer.”

Urging you to get up, he pushed you off his arms, forcefully rolling you onto your side. The duality of a man, you murmured under your breath. One moment he could whisper the most loving things to your ears, and the other he went back to treating you as if you were his personal maid. If all those fangirls of his knew of the mistreatment you endured, they wouldn’t stand for it, yet there you were, blindly searching through the darkness for the light switch.

“You know, you were the one who went all like ‘Y/N, spend my birthday with me, I long to nest between your thighs, please surrender yourself to me’.” You nagged, purposely messing up his previous words. “Deal with the consequences.” You went on as your fingers located the switch, light pouring into the room at once.

Surprisingly enough, he seemed to have nothing to counter your childish taunts, resorting to a mere huff. That’s right, he couldn’t even dispute your claims, victory was yours.

“Where is it again?”

He lifted a finger, pointing towards his dresser. You followed, going through the drawers one by one in search of his kiseru. Come to think of it, you hadn’t seen him smoke all day long. It was rare for him not to have it on him, considering how he seemed addicted to the rush the bitter tobacco had to offer.

“You know though, smoking right after sex is such a cliché. Who does-” Your sentence was cut short once you peered at the contents of the final drawers, finding more than you’d anticipated.

You blinked your eyes, wondering if you hadn’t actually left the bed, pure disbelief making you question your senses. His kiseru was right there, resting next to a small metallic box, one you could have sworn you’d seen before. Picking it up in your hands, you took a peek at the inside, your suspicions confirmed at the sight of a worn pair of binoculars. Their condition was beyond poor, though there was no doubt; these were the very same binoculars you gifted him all those years ago.

“I never expected you to keep anything from back then.” You admitted, placing the objects back inside the furniture.

“I kept you, didn’t I?” Takasugi shrugged, accepting the kiseru from your hands as he worked on lighting it up.

You stayed silent, lying next to his side. All sorts of thoughts went through your brain, while you traced back to each of your memories in an attempt to analyze his past behavior. The binoculars and the cookie box… could this mean that he returned your feelings long before he admitted to it?

“I will allow it.” His voice interrupted your thoughts, a light gray ring of smoke spiraling past his lips.

“Hm?”

“You can celebrate my birthdays.”

Your eyes widened, an expression of pure awe beaming upon your features.

“I’m only doing it for the free massage. Don’t get full of yourself.” He was quick to add.

“Then, how about we go somewhere nicer next year?” You suggest, forgetting all about his comments and your own contemplation.

Your hands traveled all the way to his neck, with your eyes pleading him for attention.

“I hear Waiiha planet is dreamy this time of the year. Or we could go over to Kagoshima for something quieter. Or-”

A cloud of thick smoke came to hush your words.

“By next year, nothing but ruin will remain.” He smirked, pulling the kiseru away from his lips. “I shall bring this rotten world before your feet.”

“Can’t you at least keep a place for the two of us?” You pouted.

Takasugi tilted his head as he took in your expression, finding himself smiling at your stubbornness.

“As long as we are both around, there will always be a place for us to run to.”

However romantic and grandiose his words came off, you failed to suppress a laughter. He always did that, using such fancy expressions to sway and misdirect you, but after all these years, you’d like to believe you knew better than to fall for it.

“You are so full of shit, Bakasugi.”

His smile twisted into a sneer, with his eye narrowing into another of his infamous glares. Using that ‘nickname’ on him, always irked him beyond compare.

“Can’t you keep Kyoto at least?”

He took another puff, blowing smoke towards the window.

“I can consider Yamagata.”

“Kanagawa?” You pleaded, pulling your entire weight on top of him.

“Don’t push it.”

“What about Hokkaido?” You weaved your fingers through his hair, slightly ruffling them. “I could make you a flower crown.”

Takasugi claimed your hands in his, dragging them down his chest before letting go of them. His expression softened, making it seem as if he didn’t completely oppose your proposition.

“Hokkaido…” He repeated, in a soft manner, one that caused little stars to spiral within your orbs. “Sounds like an enticing destination… for me to spread your ashes.”

“Hey, don’t be so mean!” You protested, throwing a punch at his chest while he giggled.

The two of you kept bickering over potential vacation destinations for quite some time, throwing names of different places until there was no planet, country, city or village left to name. Neither of you agreed to back off, with each insisting on a suggestion of their own.

Without admitting to it, secretly, you wished that by the time his next birthday came around, you’d both be around to celebrate it. Whether it was upon a hilltop or the edge of a coastline, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that you'd see the end of things with him, standing side by side like you'd done every moment up until now.

No matter what, you'd see this one wish through; no matter what you would never let go of him.

[rosa-e-luna]

Soon to be digitalize.... In excited for this one!

[akaneymedioff]

Summary:

Gintoki sees Hijikata attending a gay club. Leaving him with the fear of confessing what he saw, he also finds himself admitting feelings he thought were hidden since long ago.

Notes:

A translation of "Tus pupilas están dilatadas". "Viniendo de alguien con los ojos de un pescado muerto" by Akaneymedioff.

I kind of translated my first fan fiction into English. English is my Second Language, I know I'm not that good yet but I'm trying to practice, because I want to write all my stories in English too :')

[forgloryforhonor]

twitter(.)com/gintokisasshole/status/1533826731617886209 - thoughts?

Thoughts about GinTae? I did spent 7 months mostly talking about them. I’m one of the blogs that always dominate the tag recently (but not Top posts, just the recent and tagged ones). My thoughts about them are all over the place.

It’s become one of my favorite OTPs tbh. Mainly because of the complexity of both the characters and constant subversion of common story tropes.

Since their dynamic is a central part of the story, my resources are almost limitless. I can study GinTae from Lesson 1-704 (+2 movies) and still discover something new every time.

Otae + Yorozuya is in almost every volume, even I am confident of that fact.

As a ship, It’s fascinating that their dynamic don’t hinge on

(Obvious) pining

misunderstanding

longing looks

learning about each other’s past

GinTae as a dynamic hinges on the deep trust and belief they have each other. In GinTae there is a constant theme of “keep moving forward” and “keep your soul intact despite the pain and changes in your life.” It’s such a mature view on life tbh. And it’s also the central theme of the story. Because of this they act like they’ve been together for decades (even though it’s only 3-5 years in canon).

GinTae has flipped every relationship dynamic out there in an interesting way. They just feel more real and balanced (human?) compared to most, which also makes writing them challenging because both of them never stick to one trope, they constantly evolve in an organic way.

That’s so hard to portray in fiction tbh, especially on a main dynamic. Most pairings I know that are like that are only established couples that show up once or twice.

Moreover their partnership connects all the characters. You can never talk about GinTae and exclude Shinpachi, Kagura, the Joui, the Shinsengumi, Oniwabanshu, Kabukichou, Edo, Snack Otose, Yoshiwara, Yagyuu, Hedoro & kin, the Diviners, Mimawarigumi, the Shogunate, Kaientai, Kiheitai, the priestesses, etc. GinTae is the dynamic that ties you to the whole Gintama world because Gintoki and Otae had established lasting and secure connections with all of these groups. They don’t isolate each other from the rest. Their dynamic is almost a community thing. They are for everybody.

The above is mainly because Otae is Yorozuya. And many fans do not acknowledge that, I dont know why. She’s a core member of their team despite not always being with them physically. Take a time to read every encounter she has with them and you find out early on that she’s very much their home base, challenger, biggest support system and deputy leader when sht goes down the drain.

That’s why GinTae is so refreshing to me... they don’t need the usual ingredients for a strong ship. It tickles my brain so much how sorachi made them work by making them a strong functional/familial friendship compared to most (and puts that in so much of the comedy).

To me GinTae do not complete each other. They supplement each other. Both of them are just fine on their own. But together they are solid.

Ah anyway, I’ve said too much.

[ukaiknowsbest]

what do you think of kyuubei as a character overall?

She’s wasted as a character I think. Even though I didn’t like her in Yagyuu arc, her character had a potential to be greater there. Like I know a lot of people relate to her being confused with her gender and I do think it was cool in theory. The execution of it all was just so meh though. I didn’t like how she legitimately became included in gintoki’s harem partly because of fanservice/his accidental groping of her. There’s also blatant transphobic messages from other characters whenever she’s around. Definitely sets you back progressively. That was cringe. Overall Kyuubei is an example of Sorachi’s wishy washy writing. She could’ve definitely been done better.

I find her boring ngl. Her life and free time seems to revolve around Otae. Like there’s a whole wealth of Yagyuu family clan dynamics that could’ve been explored but no, She’s just “otae, otae, otae” and sometimes the monkey I guess. Like ppl could argue that it’s because Otae’s the only real bestest friend she has and that Kyuubei has to distance herself from being a yagyuu thats not totally true tho... she obviously loves her clan and their role as daimyo a lot. Even so I think that’s lazy. Her other interactions with men and women is cause she’s often with Otae. But at least she interacts with them and have interesting dynamics with Sarutobi, Tsukuyo, Kondou, Hijikata and Katsura. That’s a plus at least.

Give me more, girl. Sheesh.

Also on fans who’re so sensitive about misgendering fictional characters, may I remind you that Kyuubei still calls herself a woman (hello??? SSA???). She never referred to herself as “they.” If you characterize her as a “they” then it’s on You, good for you. Don’t force your own headcanons into others my dudes and dudettes, it doesn’t look good, not good at all.

[piduai]

Gintama.

Favorite character: mutsu and nobume... nobume is more compelling solely because she has more screentime but i’ll always have a special place in my heart for mutsu, she’s been my favorite since 2014.

Least Favorite character: sougo, gintoki, hijikata, k*mui

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): takazura, kyuutsu, kagunobu, taesachi

Character I find most attractive: mutsu... i really don’t know what’s my problem but i find her sooooo charming and hot, reason makima from chainsaw man caught my eye in the first place was because she reminds me of mutsu visually. i’ve also always looked respectfully at fake timeskip wart kagura (only the fake one not the actual one) but that’s my egirl loving tendencies, and although i hate her hair tsukuyo is super hot otherwise. oh also that one double braids black hair ninja girl from idk what arc, you know the maid, she’s super cute

Character I would marry: mutsu it would be a nerd4nerd lesbian household

Character I would be best friends with: nobume and tsukuyo, and i’d befriend zura

a random thought: it looked so much better during the first season up to the courtesan arc, when it got picked up again after a hiatus in idk 2015? or something? they changed the art style to make it look closer to sorachi’s which was such a bad decision because sorachi can’t fucking draw

An unpopular opinion: don’t know how unpopular this is but while gintama does deliver in terms of comedy and can get downright hysterical, when it shifts to serious mode and plot it’s mediocre at BEST. usually it’s just bad. and some of the gags are extremely repetitive and tired at this point too. don’t get me wrong tho it’s an enjoyable series. 

my canon OTP: no

Non-canon OTP: i like the ships i mentioned and used to be into takazura a lot but i’m not invested at all anymore

most badass character: mutsu

pairing I am not a fan of: zura/gintoki has taught me what a notp truly is. never hated a fictional pairing more than this one never will

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): takasugi god he had so much potential and so much build-up and all of that got washed down the drain

favourite friendship: kagura and tae and kagura and shinpachi

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: none of them i think

[bossladytae]

Major Gintama spoilers ahead. Decided to share my thoughts since I feel people are missing the point on why some of us are not happy with the current developments, especially when we are looking at the bigger picture, not just a snapshot. A few folks have already and wonderfully articulated their thoughts that I agree with, so this is my two cents to add. No one has to agree with me. I’ve been a Gintama fan for a very, very long time. I will always love this series, but no series is perfect, and having a different viewpoint about the present events does not make me or anyone else less of a fan.

Death in general always brings a mixture of emotions, and people are allowed to mourn, to question, to do what they need to do in order to process somebody’s last farewell (just don’t harass people if they feel differently than you do). You are not required to be 100% positive or negative about the story’s progression. Different opinions on this chapter can and do exist. I’m sharing mine only because I want to clear up some misconceptions about why those of us with the same thoughts feel as we do.

We are not necessarily unhappy that Takasugi died (although this does not make us jump for joy, either). We were prepared to accept Takasugi living or dying, depending on the manner in which either fate was carried out. Indeed, his death mirrors history with the real Takasugi also dying young. His death brings to mind Gintoki’s words to Oboro: “Be it killing him or protecting him, they’re both my job.” Takasugi’s death has been foreshadowed more than once, particularly with his first appearance post-time skip and the revelation of borrowed time, so it’s not a surprise when it’s been quite apparent. We know this. Lastly, some of us, like myself, are fine with the death scene itself (Takasugi dying in Gintoki’s arms) because it was beautifully done.

We’re unhappy that the final arc post-time skip consisted of rehashed events that have already taken place multiple times (even in a movie). We’re unhappy that Katsura, who originally said, “I can’t let you cut down your master again,” is denied the chance to be present for these final moments when he’s also a student of Shouka Sonjuku, having experienced the same loss. We’re unhappy that Matako and Henpeita – who have now lost more of their closest comrades – were denied the chance to fight alongside Takasugi just as everyone else was allowed to rush forward and fight with Gintoki. We’re unhappy that Shouyou had to be reminded once again that he could not save a single one of his cherished students. We’re unhappy that Takasugi had to stab himself again, compounding his trauma, as if Utsuro bringing him to the brink of death countless times was not enough. We’re unhappy that in a cruel and twisted way, Gintoki saves his teacher but loses his friend, whom he had already protected multiple times, body and soul. We’re unhappy that Gintoki is reliving that choice, that pain—again, and again, and again.

No, happiness doesn’t always prevail in life. Everyone knows this. But we’re talking about a fictional story whose final arc is one we feel could’ve been set up differently. And there is nothing wrong with expressing a variety of opinions about it.

I’m not a fan of endless tragedy and violence with little to no substance. To me, it felt like Takasugi had become a vehicle for violence. “How much more can I shock the audience and get away with it?” That’s the impression I received. Consequently, these last few chapters have come off as rather uninspired to me, especially when several pages were centered on everyone simply running around or running after people, and repeating the same one-liners and sentiments they have expressed countless times already. It’s not as if we’ve forgotten or have never seen how much the cast cares for one another. Gintama’s past arcs have given us high standards already, so we had different expectations for the finale.

This is partly why I wasn’t fully on board with Nobu Nobu’s death, even though his death flag was obvious, too. It felt like the easy way out, because then he wouldn’t live on to deal with the consequences of his actions, wouldn’t have to work hard to change what he had caused. It’s harder to live on with such a burden, to find a new path in life, and to earn back people’s respect and trust, but how much greater a message that would’ve been. Killing off your antagonists immediately after redeeming them also has the risk of becoming a cliché as much as surviving does.

However, I accepted it because even though Gintama isn’t mirroring history detail for detail (for one thing, Okita would’ve died instead of his sister), it still does with the passing of the Edo to Meiji era, Amanto parallels with the Perry Expedition, the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate, the Western influences, and more. Nobu Nobu’s death and the rise of a new government within Gintama’s world made that much clear.

It can also be said that chapter 703 emphasizes the fact that you can still move on after a great loss. But, as far as lessons go, we have already learned this through Shige Shige’s death with little time spent on the fact that Zenzou had to kill a friend to save a friend, and lost that friend in the end, anyway. Yet, he returned to assist in the battle against Utsuro. Zenzou has exemplified moving on from a terrible tragedy; we have seen the lesson in action already, and, truly, Zenzou has amazing inner strength. I was sad that Shige Shige had to die after all that because he is a good man, but I liked the plot and character development his death resulted in.

Takasugi had his redemption already, and his entire story arc was well done and even his death is memorable, as redundant as the circumstances turned out to be, but I would expect nothing less, for he deserves to go out with a bang. He has directly and indirectly caused many deaths as much as any other antagonist in the story, but he has also saved many lives through his later actions. Had he lived, I wouldn’t expect him to feel he must spend the rest of his life atoning for his actions, because he did not see himself on the “wrong side” so much as he did the government. Politics is a complex matter, which is why Gintama has always focused on one’s reaction to their circumstances and polishing their soul to silver, not whether they’re politically right or wrong.

Rather, if chosen to survive, I think Takasugi would have tried to find his own way to live in the new world while being a product of the old one. Yes, he held onto his grief and rage for far too long, but he was also driven to change or destroy all the obstacles in his way. Shogun Assassination and Rakuyou arcs showed him renewed by the end. He would have found his way again, just as Shouyou once told him he was capable of doing. And it would’ve been a nice change from dying right after you reconcile with your family or friends. It would’ve been an inspiration for those that live on with great burdens in their past, but can now look forward to a future for once after believing there was no more hope for them in their traumatic lives.

As for living on borrowed time, I’d also hoped that Takasugi would be able to die on his own terms away from the public eye, sharing one last drink with Gintoki, Katsura, Sakamoto, and even Matako and Henpeita. If Sorachi really couldn’t think of anything else to do with him (or the Kiheitai, for that matter) except to kill him off, then at least give Takasugi some final moments of peace with his friends before exiting this world, just like other characters received (whether they died or departed the city). But he was not granted that. Instead, he was subjected to one violent attack after another, used to deliver another fatal injury to himself and cause his teacher more sorrow, and then, finally, cut down by one of his dearest friends. For me, it was nothing but senseless bloodshed.

After reading this convoluted-to-the-utmost-degree finale, I can appreciate that Takasugi at least could die within Gintoki’s arms. It continually reaffirms my belief that Gintoki and Takasugi’s relationship is unbreakable. They know each other so well—too well, perhaps, which is why they were so readily annoyed with one another, too. Gintoki called him “my other self.” Takasugi admitted that hurting Gintoki hurts him more than anything else. They were the original pair of rivals from the beginning. They entrusted earth and space battles to one another, needing no explanation. Gintoki knew Takasugi would come back; Takasugi knew Gintoki would come through in the end. No one understands one another better than they do (except I would venture to include Katsura, and Sakamoto on some level, as one who had met them after Shouyou’s initial capture).

Gintoki wielding both their swords to deliver the final blow to Utsuro, who kept trying to destroy Gintoki while in the throes of death thanks to Takasugi, is a nice touch. Gintoki saying that not even death will break their bond is a lovely sentiment. Takasugi protecting Gintoki in return and paying the ultimate price moves my soul. Takasugi making a joke about his height is well within the spirit of the story. Gintoki saying, “We might have just been born under that star,” makes me smile. Takasugi wanting Gintoki’s smile as his last sight of this world, and Gintoki struggling to keep his tears in check until after Takasugi has left him, breaks my heart.

I’m fine with all of that.

I simply lament the fact that the path leading to the finale, to Takasugi’s death, was not all that I’d expected. I can only hope that like Shige Shige, Takasugi’s death will challenge and change status quo somehow. It has to because it’s such a significant event.

I have issues with the narrative as a whole since Rakuyou arc, but that’ll be too long to get into right now, and I don’t have any desire to write out my thoughts at this point (not enough time, anyway). One of them in a nutshell is this idea that you can’t move on unless your cherished ones return. Sometimes you don’t know when they will and sometimes they don’t. If you’ve built your life around the condition that those people are always there, then you may not have the strength to stand on your own two feet when you have to tackle something on your own. I feel it contradicts one of Gintama’s lessons about building up your inner strength – your soul – so that you can still move forward, even if you must walk alone. Solely relying on others for your happiness, solely making others responsible for your happiness, is not that healthy, in my opinion.

I think Tae and Tsukuyo showed a healthier way of moving forward while hoping for others to return or reunite. They became/resumed being leaders and businesswomen; they reacted to their circumstances and proceeded accordingly with what they felt was best. For Sacchan, Sorachi relied on an old gag; for Kyuubei, Sorachi placed them in a marriage interview situation, as if he couldn’t think of what else to do with them. In the end, Tae was worried for Shinpachi being unable to move on, and Tsukuyo was the one who reassured everyone that Gintoki would eventually come back, and that they would all see him again. Not even Katsura believed that Gintoki had somehow become an enemy of the world; he has always trusted that Gintoki would be on a sure path because Gintoki told him, “If you've got time to fantasize about a beautiful death, why not live beautifully until the end?” So it was strange to me when others expressed their doubts in thinking they’d have to fight Gintoki in order to protect the world.

But, I digress, and I will stop before I lose sight of my original purpose for this post.

Everything that has inspired me before Silver Soul arc will remain. I still think Gintama is one of the best shounen series to date with its myriad of ways to stand out from the rest. Sadly, it just fell short of my expectations at the end, becoming more like a generic shounen story. I don’t know if Sorachi is burnt out; or if his editor(s) were pressuring him to write a certain way; or if he had written himself into corner and this is the result of him trying to get out in a believable way. He has redrawn things before and has admitted he has forgotten details or story elements in the past. It happens to the best of us, and only he knows how his internal process works. Clearly, he’s still trying to end things in the best way he can with what he already presented chapters ago. No one is faulting him for that. It’s not the same as critiquing a story’s entirety on its own.

I will accept Gintama’s impending conclusion, but as I have stated many times in the past, you are always free to question, to challenge, and to even affirm canon material of any text with your opinions. Everyone thinks and feels differently. That is why we study literature; that is why we love stories. I’m eternally thankful to Sorachi for creating Gintama. I will always treasure this series.

I will never forget that Takasugi Shinsuke gave his life for a world he was intent on destroying—and, really, he did destroy it so that it could be renewed. And I hope none of the cast forgets, either.

[meganshinsou-tm]

22 Questions Game:

I was tagged by @camy-pok, this looks fun so let’s get it! ^-^

XXX

Rules: Answer the questions then tag people

1 - Name: Megan

2 - Nickname: Meg, Meggy

3 - Star Sign: Leo

4 - Gender: Female

5 - Sexuality: Heteroflexible

6 - Favorite Colour: Emerald green, royal blue and pastels.

7 - Time Right Now: 2:07 AM

8 - Average Hours of Sleep: Oof - uh depends, sometimes 4 sometimes 8.

9 - The Last Thing I Googled: Euphoria by BTS lyrics

10 - Number of Blankets: A shit ton? I sleep with two though.

11 - Favorite Fictional Character: Oh good god uh - Hitoshi Shinsou, Gintoki Sakata, Saeyoung Choi, Shouto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugou, Eren Jaeger, Ken Kaneki, Shuu Tsukiyama, Nishio, Hide, Reigen Arataka, Joseph Oda,Makoto Tachibana, Sousuke Yamazaki, Shoya Hinata, Tobia Kageyama, Tendou Satori, Suguru Daisho, Yuji Terushima ... I could go on and on.

12 -  What are you wearing right now: My Hero Academia shirt and Hello Kitty night shorts.

13 - Favorite Book: The Mortal Instruments Series and Hush, Hush Series

14 - Favourite Musician: BTS, EXO, Monsta X, NCT - 127, VIXX, Avenged Sevenfold, Ghost, Slipknot, Bring Me the Horizon, Highly Suspect, Lady Gaga, Run the Jewels, I uh - also love me some George Strait... /-\

15 - Dream Job: Good god I don’t even know, I’ve gone to school for nearly everything now. I’m only 23. I just want a job I love and am happy doing.

16 - Number of followers: On here - 1,828 (holy shit I’m close to 2k!)

17 - When did you create your account: Uhh August of 2018.

18 - What do you post about: I post all my writing here. I also post just random shit about myself, my collections. Reblog a lot of k-pop and other misc. anime fandoms, mainly Gintama, AOT, BNHA, and Tokyo Ghoul. Whatever I want really.

19 - What made you get an account: To have another platform to post my content on and become popular enough to do requests because they seemed super fun! 

20 - When did your blog reach its peak: Uh I don’t even know. I don’t really keep up with that, or follower count really. I truly just post my content to share it with the world and because it makes me happy, the fact that people actually enjoy it and become fans of it and follow it, it’s just an added bonus really.

21 - Do you get asks on a daily basis: Definitely not, it’s very random and sporadic. My ask box will be empty for days and then a get one or two random things, and then on some days I’m constantly getting shit one after the other for a few hours before it dies down again. I never know really but I love and appreciate all the asks I get, no matter what they are. Unless they’re punk ass trolling anons. 

22 - Why did you choose your url: Because I started out with mainly BNHA content and ‘american’ mc’s for my content, so I just meshed the two together really. I wish I would’ve came up with something better though. Now that a lot of people refer to me as Megan Shinsou or Shinsette, I sometimes want to change to that but I don’t want to throw people off/ /-\

XXX

I tag @sunburstpython @mexi-doodler @makarovs-brat @the-winter-kookie and Kay but I can never tag your blog 😂💕

[saitouh]

I have a lot of things to say. It took me a really long time to put this together because it took me this long to completely snap after enduring years of crap. This was very hard to write. I lack the time, and I actually lack the stomach. I feel angry, ill, just by going through all this garbage. This is very long, but still, I’ll just write about some of the shit that pisses me off the most.

This is about the group of disgusting women who, for the longest time, for many years, have attacked tsukuyo, her fans, and are still attacking tsukuyo by saying she is not a “traditionally good woman”, she is “a whore from yoshiwara”, she is “not good for gintoki”, despite the fact that she’s a virgin who dedicated her life to protecting other women. Tsukuyo, who had NO intention to be in a relationship with gin, who let him live free, who is satisfied enough helping him from the sidelines -- you all are a sad excuse for a living organisms. 

I can’t even fathom it. That for days, weeks, months, YEARS, non-stop, u would do these things so shamelessly. 

Oddjobsqueen, you should congratulate yourself. You made it! First on this list. You became one of the foulest people in the gintama fandom, whose vicious words I have ever had the displeasure to lay my eyes upon. 

And this particular tweet, about how scantily clad Tsukky is, is what truly set off this post! Applaud yourself, Bill. You truly broke the button. 

To think that you, oddjobsqueen, in this era, would actually resort to slut-shaming. 

You are repulsive, heinous, and pathetic to the very core. Totally unsure why you are so proud of yourself for living every day as a grown woman in the 21st century, who carry this disgusting, abhorrent, female-hating, venomous mentality, towards both real and fictional females. ‬It’s almost the end of 2018 and there’s actually someone, who has the audacity to accuse tsukuyo of wearing make-up, shames her for wearing heels and lmao - dressing provocatively - WHAT? Do you even know what “scantily-clad” means???? Does Tsukuyo walk around in lingerie???  

1) Equalizing wearing heels with femininity is a load of embarrassing bullshit. Why are you summarily implying that girls who do NOT wear heels are unfeminine? Or the ones who do, are?? Why are you making assumptions on how they view their own femininity?? 

2) The only time tsukuyo wore make-up was when hinowa tricked her into serving an "important customer", which was gintoki. She did not know she was going to meet him. It was a set-up. Kagura and Shinpachi also set them up. It was like setting up a blind date. Anyway. Why did you shame her for this? What has this got to do with femininity? Why are you so threatened by the possibility of tsukuyo wearing makeup??? Again, I repeat - SHE USUALLY DOESNT WEAR IT. She forewent makeup when Seita told her that Gintoki visited. He called her “dull.” She right away told him off by hitting him where it hurts - his hair. She is a very admirable female character, and it doesn’t even matter if she decides to wear makeup. Attacking her, a woman’s femininity is a shit thing to do.

3) ‘Scantily-clad’ LMAO. She has never even wore anything close to what sacchan wore in gag scenes as a fake-dominatrix. 

You have, time and again, made countless, asinine posts attacking Tsukuyo in your quest to elevate your own ship. 

You can’t even keep her name out of your mouth any time of the day. Why is it that you can’t separate her from your own ship? Why are you so insecure you have to bring her up again and again, and yet you claim, “oh she is irrelevant”. If she is every bit as irrelevant, then DON’T mention her. 

I have never responded to your vile shit properly. They’re vile shit, they don’t deserve anything other than my snarkiest retorts beyond a few blocks of tumblr texts or in my tweets. You still aren’t worth my time by any means, but that post above is just about the most disgusting thing I have ever seen from a Gintae shipper and I’m only just going to say this once to you and your lot because you are all irrevocably shameless.  

The era in which tsukuyo lives in is where women are expected to help and and support their husbands. Things like "fighting for myself," "doing something for myself," "protecting MYSELF", "fighting for the interest of women alone", are non-existent. When she first found herself starting to fall for Gintoki, she told him - she said this - “I WANT TO CONTINUE TO BE YOUR EQUAL.” 

Women in that era are not equal to men. Women in this era are still not equal to men. The only way was for them to fight or accept their fate. 

Tsukuyo has learned in her journey, in these 500 chapters, that she actually didn’t have to throw away her identity as a woman, she didn’t have to deny herself from love, like what Jiraia tried to prevent her to do. 

She has learned to treasure herself. She has learned that it isn’t true that her gender is the “weaker gender” simply because she fell in love with a man. That she need not deny her own identity. The entire Love Incense Arc was saying exactly this. Falling in love is NOT a sign of weakness, as she told Hotaru -- but a sign of strength.

But YOU, you people. Oh you. Again and again you brought up her love and her femininity to attack her continuously???? 

She was sold into Yoshiwara to become a prostitute. She then tried to run away as a child, told Hinowa she refused to become a prostitute, refused to be like the women in Yoshiwara, and got beaten up for it by an older courtesan. Eventually, she learned to cast her deprecating views on the women in Yoshiwara aside. She decided to devote her life instead, to protect them, because she recognized that NO ONE would fight for these women, except Hinowa, by using the strength in her soul.

A character like this, you actually shit on her for grappling with her femininity?????  

NEVERMIND. Seriously honest to fcking Buddha, why the f- am I educating someone vile like you? 

Your entire tumblr blog, oddjobsqueen, your whole twitter, everything is filled with dedicated venom attacking Tsukuyo, her fans, and FANARTISTS (”AHH OT3!!!” YOU CRY). Fanartists who had done NOTHING but mind their own business. What did these innocent fans do to deserve your crass disrespect? 

I’m disgusted to my stomach that Otae has fans like you. And you had the audacity to be defiant about this incident by capping me telling you off for writing rude shit on a PERFECTLY NORMAL FAMILY FANART?? Seita calls Tsukuyo “OLDER SISTER”. He calls Hinowa “MOM”. But okay, OT3.

We told you to use Google, OJQ. The artist is a Gintsuki artist. They have NO OBLIGATION to you. Why did you stalk Gintsuki fans and fanartists, you dipshit? She has NEVER drawn, mentioned, even breathed anything about your ship. She doesn’t even tweet in ENGLISH! Don’t even pretend that you only search for “Gintae”. 

Don’t pretend to make a screenshot capping that you searched for “GINTAE”, you can’t fool me, seriously. You actually capped a tweet that I deliberately made for your benefit??? A tweet I made in RESPONSE to you rudely spewing shit on the Gintsuki artist’s art?????? AFTER YOU STALKED THEM?? AND LEFT RUDE COMMENTS ON THEIR WALL???? 

You’re not only vile, you’re utterfckingly stupid.

You stalk all of us Gintsuki fans and you left uncalled for, unwanted remarks on the fanartists’ arts and you harass the shit out of us by jumping into our twitter accounts, like your friend Hasaji. Have you no sense of decency, madam?????

IDK what the fck you are on about, madam. I never made a post analysing a ship I have ZERO interest in. I simply made a tumblr post  months ago talking about how some people - without even naming you guys -- couldn’t write a ship analysis without insulting other characters (Tsukuyo and all other characters) who have NO RELATION whatsoever to your ship. Is your fcking ship made up of 3 people or more???? Is your ship so weak that it had to trash other characters when you are writing your metas?? Good job, though - You came out and immediately referenced my calling out of your unwarranted attacks on Tsukuyo lmao. Because you are aware of your guilt, I guess. “Why treat the post as if it was attacking Tsukuyo?” 

LMAO. Because it was attacking her? You couldn’t even stop talking about her in your metas. I thought you were writing a Gintae meta. Why did you write all these Tsukuyo-sucks-everyone else-sucks-and-not-as-great-as-Otae metas? 

Gintoki himself said “every single one of you have coloured my soul.”  Everyone around him is important to him. And yet you dumb shits continue to trash tsukuyo and call her irrelevant, unimportant, insignificant, weak. You even fucking attacked NOBUME. N O B U M E. WHO THE FCK ATTACKS NOBUME???? Shitbags like you guys, that’s who. And having all the manure appear in tsukuyo’s tag. 

Hey, our girl did appear splendidly after this tweet of yours. And dear Buddha, she’s fucking GORGEOUS. 

This was back in June. You all were so salty that you couldn’t stop bashing her to this day. Get a grip. So many other caps. I wouldn’t be able to shoot you all with it in this single tumblr post. I really don’t have the time either. It’s okay! Go look at my twitter. You do that every day, already, since you are so obsessed with me. You are so childish you had to have to last word on someone else’s twitter, where you jumped onto a 2-yr old tweet you claimed showed up in SEARCH. LMAO. You have been on Twitter for over a year. And you are only now screaming about that 2-yr old tweet now, which you have taken out of context? You are really stupid if you think I can’t see through you.

Or better yet, go and reflect on your vile tumblr and twitters and see the shit you have typed up. 

“Only Tae is part of Yorozuya other than Kagura and Shinpachi!!!” You cried, belittling all the other characters. 

Like seriously, it’s fucking hilarious before, but it’s even more hilarious now. Apparently the whole cast of Gintama, as evidenced recently, IS yorozuya. 

This is what you do, Hasaji. Stalking people, and then retweeting every single person who call out on your bullshit. You do it to people who talk to me. You do it with the express intention to annoy and intimidate them into silence. Hurray for you and your immature, juvenile self. 

Lunosa whatever your name is and Iwazu or piduai or pigeon whatever, both of you are vicious women who only care about your horrid selves, your right to horrid opinions and your right to be horrid, and you refuse to be called out for it. 

This chain of tweets is funny though. They think it’s because Gintama was ending and Gintsuki is dead, so they came out to trash Gintsuki fans like this. Utterly hilarious. Vile. And then --- Gintama didn’t end. 

I have since attributed your attitude to a horrid upbringing. 

But. I can’t get over this. “Oriental fans” LMAO. This is your retort. This is an actual phrase actually came out from someone’s mouth. In 2018. Why are you mad I called you western fans? Are you NOT western? Are you NOT white people? Are you not??? FCKING? WHITE? WESTERN???? FANS?????

Oriental? Okay. I’m 100% east asian by descent. So what???? 

“Get the white DNA”

Man.

We ~orientals~ aren’t your genetic construction machine, you white bitch. For u people to actually use the word ~ORIENTAL~ in 2018. Holy crap. Which era are u from? 1828? 1928? Because it’s certainly not 2018. 

Why do you continue pretend to “love” tsukki? Why do you waste time making edits of a character you hate, a character you called a toilet brush, iwazu (piduai)? Why are you so angry whenever people say Tsukuyo and Hijikata share similarities? Why are you so defiant about this??? Why u so mad???? Why you hate her so much you can’t stand the thought of this harmless little observation??

If i were to pull out all the screencaps i have saved 7-8 years ago, my entire tumblr wouldnt be able to hold the posts. But it’s okay! Everyone already knows you. I don’t have to prove much of anything. 

Someone who hates Tsukuyo as much as you do, and bashed her every chance you got, actually wrote this with a sense of such irony. Can we believe there is Tsukuyo hate on the internet? Like. Someone, a living person, with internet access, thought Tsukuyo sux xoxo and took the time to post their (your) filthy opinion(s) again and again on the internet. And other people (all of us) had to look at it (over and over again) with their own seeing eyes. I mean. Tsukuyo. People legitly hating on Tsukuyo. The Angel, the cinnamon roll. Who hurt you?

Eh. You have always cared more about men. Why do you pretend? You don’t give a shit about girls. You know what you have written. Of course you do. They’re still on my twitter.

You claim to love women, claim to love girls, female characters, but each and every instance of your behaviour had proven otherwise. 

“The only reason they cast matako was to have a sexy babe”

Holy shit 

WHO WOULDN’T WANT A SEXY BABE? I want a sexy babe. 

And how the fck could Benizakura happen without Matako???? You can’t have a Benizakura arc without Matako. You can have a Benizakura arc without Bansai. We have enough testosterone on set. But Matako? What the fuck?!?!? “Kagura was fine.”

Just fine. No comments on Otae’s actress. Matako is because she’s hot. Pssh.

Yeah. You only want handsome dudes. You called hijikata’s actor uglier on screen. Your favourite Hijikata. Wasn’t lived-up to. Whatever.

No one gives a shit what you love. Really, no one does. In simpler terms, let me tell you this: TALK SHIT, GET HIT. Don’t scream bullies, because you aren’t a victim.

Why were you still reading this manga? Why? Just quit and stop bitching about characters people love. Everyone will be better off. 

You obviously hate sorachi, you don’t like that people praise him, so why are you still here?

I told you this before. But you keep saying to me, “this is the last time I’m going to talk to you, address you,” but you never stop. When is your “last time” going to come? 

Right now though, I’ve had enough writing about you. Sick of you to my bones. 

You’re disgusting.

My friends and I watched all these harassment in real time. The hate mails you sick people or gintamajustaway’s gang have sent to me. 

First emotional blackmailing anon mail. ↑ This is a fucking disgusting and absolutely heinous thing for you to do. It is revoltingly manipulative because you are intimidating people to give you the things you want, and right away, by having them submit to YOU, out of fear, obligation, sympathy or guilt. 

Sucks to be you, I don’t owe you any of these 4 things. 

I’m having flashbacks of an ex because of this. It infuriates me. 

it’s a fucking abhorrent thing to do because you are all about yourself. You want to talk shit about the character people love, you want to talk shit about Tsukuyo, but you can’t and won’t handle lashback.

Whatever did my tweets say to make you behave this way like a spoiled little child with such a disastrous extent of emotional problems? None of what I said can compare to what you shitbags have done to me and my friends, and the other people I know whom you chased out of fandom. 

Emotional blackmail #2, when i didn’t respond to your emotional blackmailing #1 above. ↑ 

“Your wonderful blog” just what? My wonderful blog? All I have ever done was to defend Tsukuyo. And you, vile, piece of shit, you dare to use such disgusting emotional blackmailing on me. 

“People who disagree on a fictional character” just doesn’t cut it, Jennifer. You can’t even disagree properly like a normal person. All you want is to insult the character, the fans repetitively and do not want to be confronted in return. I didn’t waste my time interacting with you. I blocked all your accounts.  LMAO but you still look me up every day. 

Emotional blackmailing #3. ↑  You’re a despicable person for trying to pull this on me, and if you were ill, I hope you, or your family, have gotten you off the internet and you have gone to get the appropriate help you needed. You need serious psychiatric help and this isn’t a mockery. You honestly need it. 

Nevermind.

When i ignored your hate mails, you decided you couldn’t chase me out. So what did you do? You sent them to my friends and mutuals. You sent this to us when we were having a Gintsuki Week, way back in February, pretending to be a Gintsuki fan.

“Talk shit about Gintsuki fans”

LMAO

Since when, though? 

I can count the ones I dislike on one hand. And I know exactly why I don’t like them. Why wouldn’t I talk shit about gintsuki fans who also hate on other characters?? Why wouldn’t I? You’re saying I should shut up about some gintsuki fans just because we share the same ship??? If you talked shit about someone’s favourite character then perhaps you should be man or woman enough to face the criticism or talk properly like a normal person? Of course I “badmouth” idiots like you. Of course I do. Stop making up lies what “badmouthing” is.

A nota bien for you people: disliking a character like a normal person and talking shit like a shitbag are two different things and they aren’t the same thing. You people though, are the latter.

I never threatened to kill anyone. I never said I wanted to break all their fingers. My tweets are still there. Properly dated. Go and read them again because that’s not what I said at all. And I never made fun of cosplayers unlike you guys. I didn’t say Hijikata’s actor, Yagira is short and ugly, like you did, Iwazu. I didn’t say tsukki cosplayers are ugly like you, Lunosa. You know about that cap someone took of you, right? Where they caught you saying you called a Tsukuyo cosplayer ugly. You guys keep saying it was me who capped you. It wasn’t me, dumbass. If it were me, I would post on my twitter. I wouldn’t delete something that incriminates you like that, as unpleasant as it is.

You couldn’t get people to isolate me. So you tried another tactic when my friends drew fanart for me. And WOW, you went and harassed them immediately after they posted their art for me in the gintama tag:

You’re not only heinous, you’re a tortellini idiot. They’re my friends for a reason. Fandom is not the only thing keeping us together. Sometimes they know my character better than you know your own ass. 

Harassing artists and demanding that they draw, or stop drawing according to your terms is inexcusable.

You sent more messages when my other friend drew me another fanart:

Telling someone they aren’t wanted just because they drew me fanart? Alright. Just so that I can leave, we can all leave, and you can bitch about characters you hate comfortably without any consequence? Alright.

I’m honestly grateful to the friends I’ve made. They’re totally awesome and amazing and they are so strong, that they really don’t take hits from random assholes like you who are so cowardly that you have to resort to all these low anon mail tactics. 

Let me tell you something, anon. In plain simple words. 

You use these characters, you talk shit about them to hurt REAL people’s feelings. 

You declare that you have the prerogative to dislike characters - and you do - absolutely - but what you failed spectacularly at understanding is that you did it in a deliberate fashion with the intention to offend. 

You chose to put yourself, and your own opinions above others - you prioritise yourselves - with no consideration for people’s feelings. And you do it again and again. Year after year. When people lash back, you fcking cower down and act like a victim. 

Bullying others and then calling them the bullies is bullying 101 - this my friend succinctly has told you before. You can substitute bullying with harassing/harassment. You’re totally cheap, anon.

You actually don’t want to live peacefully. You just want to talk shit peacefully. You are NOT a victim.

This rape-mocking accusation truly made my blood boil. I’ll get to it in a moment.

Sending anons to me failed. Sending anons to my friends failed. At the end of your wits, you all made a “call-out” post of me, capped random tweets (lmao just what) and said that I MOCKED YOUR RAPE, gintamajustaway. You’re just. Disgusting. I only found out about the post 11 days later, and only because I logged into another blog. And then, even that failed to get me out of fandom. All of you were so. DESPERATE. That you resort to lies. Well I’m still here. Because I refuse to be chased out by the same tactics you all used to chase all the previous fans out of fandom. If I met you in real life, I would totally fight you.  

These caps below were taken years ago and these were sent to me by people whom you yourself bullied to the point that they had to leave because of anxiety caused by you and your massive amounts of followers.

All of this detailed how you got into a massive argument with hasegawa-san, whom you bullied until she had to delete their tumblr account twice, and then locked it.

This whole thing. Was just mind-blowing. This was way back. Both people were polite to you. Both people were speaking strictly on this scene alone. They have never disrespected you. They never challenged your claim. They, and I would believe anyone decent, wouldn’t question such a traumatic experience. All they did, was point out that this scene did NOT happen. 

Years later, I also spoke up to defend Tsukuyo in this scene. Other people who dislike her have already used the “rapist” argument to justify their dislike, and it had bcome increasingly outrageous. 

It is a scene that did NOT happen. SHE DID NOT RAPE GINTOKI. There were so many other offensive things that have happened in Gintama. Sorachi used suicide as a joke to poke fun at Madao (which Madao never actually go through in the end), but people didn’t find issues with it.

Tsukuyo, however. You won’t stop bitching about her. You kept flooding her tag. I had to put up with scrolling pages and pages of your vitriol at one point and it just made me snap. A long time ago before the thing with hasegawa-san erupted, I was following you, until I saw through who you really are, and I blocked you. Don’t think I only blocked you because you hate on Tsukuyo, aero. 

I blocked you because you are an absolutely inauthentic person and I couldn’t stand reading the disingenuous things that come out from your posts each time you claim you like her. Conveniently for you, by defending Tsukuyo it means I, and by extension ANYONE - am and is a rape apologist, and that I / we mock your rape??? WHAT THE HELL?

That’s grossly unfair and I’m just going to say it - disgustingly manipulative.

When I first spoke up about this scene to defend Tsukuyo, I never referenced you. I didn’t think about you. Until you started making post after post after post and referring to ME and wouldn’t shut up about it. Until people started noticing your posts. You then keep editing your answers, and you conveniently keep having anons who bring this matter up to you.

You really make me so angry.

I’m not the only one who could see you dislike her. It doesn’t matter though. Seriously. You can dislike her, but your problem is, you wouldn’t admit it, unlike Iwazu and Lunosa and even Oddjobsqueen up there. Iwazu has now taken the stance to passive-aggressively dislike her by making edits of her, acting out as if she likes her. It’s wild. OJQ also has made her dislike pretty clear. None of these are compliments, you bitches. I’m just saying.

But YOU, oh you, Aero. You would never outright admit to disliking her, even though you would go on and ON AND ON attacking her character relentlessly. It’s sick. And let me tell you, I don’t fall for your gaslighting shit. 

Just what the fck is this, gintamajustaway? No less than 4 people have sent me caps to this and I almost fell over with laughter each time. Why did you do this?

You are the liar, Aero. You can deny all you want. But you do know yourself deep down. It’s a fair point - some stranger on the internet may not know who you are at all. But let’s face it. We all have been on Tumblr for a long time. We all have an idea what a person is like from the posts they make. And from your massive wall of texts each time, I can pretty much grasp what kind of person you are. 

Please spare me from this, gintamajustaway. I blocked you a long time ago. I don’t want to see you if I can help it. But because you have so many followers, I have to unfollow people who follow you so I don’t see your crap on my dashboard. The fixation you speak of is YOUR imagination. The one you are really obsessed with is Tsukuyo. A character you do NOT like, but you can’t ever admit to it. So you deny it again and again. AT THE SAME TIME, you still attack her with gusto. Each time you end your vitriol with, “You don’t have to agree with me! But I don’t hate her at all, it’s just a very plain fact that she is weak, she is written to represent weak women, she is a terrible character and I cannot relate with her at all!”

Honest to Buddha. 

You know what also makes this so wild? You spin a fcking yarn on all your tragic tales each time someone confronts you. You falsely accused MULTIPLE people, including ME, of being rape apologists, for mocking your rape, just for defending Tsukuyo in a scene that DID NOT HAPPEN. You continue to do this, every single fcking time this scene is challenged, and you have been doing this non-stop since that big post involving hasegawa-san and the other blogger. You do it again when Tsukuyo shows up in the Love Incense Arc. 

I repeat. You accuse others of something as serious as mocking your rape - and then accused me - when we haven’t - and I haven’t - we all haven’t - done it even once. 

I was truly confused as fuck at first. 

Eventually several people (who have known about you behaviour for years) suggested to me that it was because you took issue with me (and other fans) for defending tsukuyo in the scandal arc scene that did NOT happen. 

That is when I got angry. Really angry. And the more you post, and using some fake self-righteous attitude to get at this situation, the angrier I got. 

You equalize this scene - a scene that Zenzou and the rest already clarified DID NOT happen - you likened it to something as gravely serious as an actual RAPE?? 

And yet u have never, EVER! dished out a single criticism against GINTOKI, who “raped” 5 people.

You focused all your hatred into calling Tsukuyo a rapist, but you discharged Gintoki from ANY blame and accountability. You have NOT insulted him even once, NOT ONCE. 

You actually continue to fangirl over Gintoki, the actual “rapist” whom his friends have labelled him as. You continue to post shit like, “*fans myself, gintoki’s hair flipping is so hot*” But you continue to tear Tsukuyo apart and pick on every single thing she does. 

Before I really knew you, Aero, that is before I really knew the venom you have spewed over the years, I expected that you would be more aware of what life for Tsukuyo was, as a woman who had gone through so much. You claim you like her - but you always fall back on attacking her, and always write with baseless facts, and lie about how she is hated by MOST Japanese fans. You always end up shredding into her love for Gintoki, as if no woman should be allowed to love. Because! You claim you can’t relate!! You make no sense whatsoever.

You, as a female survivor of sexual assault and abuse committed by a MAN, I’m just bewildered that you actually continue to justify that your feelings are caused by the things a FEMALE CHARACTER HAS NOT DONE???

Of course. You continue to insist that you don’t hate her. You don’t! You are just traumatised. Fair enough. But then you posted this. 

Alright.

I just don’t understand. That instead of finding faults with Gintoki, A MAN, who “raped” 5 people, your first target was Tsukuyo, a WOMAN. She was a woman, who was portrayed as Gintoki’s VICTIM. 

??????

You started out by saying you hated it, because there was NO CONSENT. You keep repeating this. NO CONSENT NO CONSENT. Alright. 

You were a child when it happened. 

A CHILD IS 100% INCAPABLE OF CONSENT. THE ISSUE OF CONSENT DOES NOT APPLY EXACTLY BECAUSE OF THIS.

To whip out the issue of CONSENT in this scene between TWO DRUNK ADULTS, and attacking ONLY THE FEMALE, is fcking ridiculous and makes NO FUCKING SENSE.

The issue of consent lies strictly where Gintoki raped the other 4 people who were sober and he was drunk. NOT TSUKUYO.

But ok. Tsukuyo still makes you feel uncomfortable. 

“I would feel equally the same if other characters had done it”

Gintoki did it. Sacchan did it for all of the series. 

But hey, let’s trash Tsukuyo.

The rest of your spiel is just full of desperate and disastrous babble to explain yourself, whiles still painting Tsukuyo as the villain. “Tsukuyo did it so I’m uncomfortable.” Now you have changed your story from what you told Hasegawa-san and the other blogger. Now you say you don’t have any bad feelings towards ANY characters.

You still talk shit about Tsukuyo using this scene, though. But what about Gintoki?????

Honest to Buddha. You are so emotionally manipulative it enrages me.

Before, you said Tsukuyo didn’t obtain consent, then you said it was because of her drunkenness. And it traumatised you.

Gintoki was fcking drunk as a mother cow. I don’t know why you’re so willful on insisting that Tsukuyo is the aggressor. 

“I don’t dislike Sorachi for writing the scene” 

LMAO 

No, you should totally dislike Sorachi for writing the scene. He made you feel uncomfortable. He made you attack Tsukuyo instead of Gintoki. THE MAN WHO “RAPED”. 

But okay, you still maintain that it was Tsukuyo’s SCENE that makes you uncomfortable. 

Doesn’t matter Zenzou has said that Gintoki came out with a “smile” on his face after raping women. He’s a man, but of course Tsukuyo, the woman, the one Gintoki really “raped”, is the one who made you feel uncomfortable. That’s fair! Totally! 

Lmao. 

Okay.

You don’t connect very well with characters who spend a lot of time pining for someone? Fair enough. 

So do you connect with Sacchan? Sacchan, who constantly made clear her intention to sexually assault Gintoki? Who made her pining for his body, his dick, transparently clear? 

Why the hell are Sacchan’s actions throughout the entire story okay, but everything Tsukuyo does is wrong?

I just don’t get this.

I sure as hell have never seen you attacking Sacchan the way you attack Tsukuyo. Are you sure you understood the meaning of “pining for someone” ????  Did Tsukuyo regress into physical or mental decline after falling in love with Gin??? SHE DID NOT. 

She chose Hinowa again and again, and despite Hinowa telling her it’s ok to choose Gin, she WOULD NOT. Until 620. And then you fcking threw a fit over it?????

I have blocked you, but many people still see you. You make a long post whenever Tsukuyo goes to help him. When she doesn’t help him, you call her weak and irrelevant.  When she helps him, she’s weak again for “abandoning” Hinowa. 

Tsukuyo can’t win, unless, she stops loving Gintoki!!! That’s according to you.

“PINING?” She doesn’t spend her days pining for him. She lives her own life and is still dedicated to helping women. SO WHAT THE FCK? Why do you continue to justify your stupid hatred with so much bullshit? 

If there’s one thing you are really bad at, aero, is that you wouldn’t shut up. The more you babble on and on (and I go through lengths to avoid the shit you say about Tsukuyo on an almost daily basis), the more inconsistent shit you spill forth and the more ridiculous you sound. 

When someone drew an art of her, you reblogged it only to say, “I love the background!” 

Wow, let’s dismiss Tsukuyo, the character in the forefront of art altogether, Aero. Why did you reblog it? To show that you actually ~don’t~ hate Tsukuyo? You’re unbelievable. You go so far to protect your own image. You want people to like you so much. For what reason, exactly? What’s wrong with you? The harder you try, the more put off I am.

You think I’m going to believe your shit that you actually LIKE HER?

I’m especially, especially furious with your accusing me of rape mockery. You accuse not only me, you accuse ANYONE who challenges your opinion on that scene. 

In stark reality - a vast majority, if not all - women who are traumatised by rape, take many years - some decades - before they reveal what happened to them. Even then, they remain especially mentally and emotionally vulnerable, because there is always, ALWAYS someone who will NOT believe them. They have spoken up because they have a need to condemn their aggressors, the perpetrators, and warn other people about their attackers. I assume by default that you know this.

And yet you used something as serious as your rape experience TO ARGUE ABOUT A SCENE THAT DID NOT HAPPEN????? TO CONDEMN A WOMAN? WHO ZENZOU SAID WAS “RAPED” BY A MAN? GINTOKI????? AND YOU CALL HER THE RAPIST? WHEN PEOPLE LIKE ME DISAGREE, YOU ACCUSED ME OF MOCKING *YOUR* RAPE?! JUST WHAT THE FCK? 

You make me sick, aero. You actually used your own experience to shut people up, not knowing anything about the people you debate with in the first place. I’m really angry at the way you’ve been using it for sympathy and guilting people when they call u out on your bullshit.

Definitely, it is your right to do so. Surely, you did it to Hasegawa-san and the other blogger, and me, so people would back off and let you have the final word. That Tsukuyo is a rapist, because you, Gintamajustaway, said so. Because you are a rape survivor. Other people don’t matter.

You aren’t alone in being a rape survivor. You aren’t. You didn’t know that the two women who were talking with you weren’t. You didn’t know that I wasn’t. You have no right going around assuming that YOU ARE THE ONLY one who have a say in this matter, that your experience is above everyone else’s, that what you think of the scene is absolute. 

You aren’t alone in dealing with traumatic pasts. You aren’t alone in having a hard life. All of us are facing hard problems in real life. The words that come out from your posts that sound sweet, cloying, sometimes looking to seek validation, sometimes looking to seek sympathy, sound so desperate. They’re all about you. You always highlight yourself, and punctuate every sentence with colours of you. Your praises for other people, and your enthusiasm for their works are perfunctory, cold, hollow, fake. 

I’m telling you straight up. I honestly think your theatrics are bizarre. 

That’s not all though. 

You, by proxy, through a disgusting anon, called the person who debated with you civilly above, hasegawa-san, a whore. You allowed this repulsive anon to mock her while stroking your ego, and collectively made fun of her. 

You said you are not here to pass judgment, yet you went ON AND ON AND ON about someone’s fcking personal life in your tags, mocking her, ridiculing her. You actually allowed this fcking disgusting ask to be published. What’s your right in calling someone a whore? You’re just absolutely fcking disgusting. Your pretense on being a “cool, kind, sweet blogger” is lost on me. 

“Toxic people are worthless” this is what you said about her in the tags above.

Hasegawa-san is not a toxic person. You are. 

You are really something. I don’t think I could believe a single thing you say. If you said grass is green, I would probably doubt it.

The people you chased out of fandom, informed me that you were in your mid-20s. A few have told me that you claimed being 19 and your ilk mobbed them for being older than you. I don’t know how you went from mid-20s to 19 yrs old, you are probably Hydra or something. But ridiculing people’s age. LMAO. I’m not surprised you did it. It must be really hard for you to hide your real self, your real behaviour. Sometimes the ugly side just slips out. And I would watch with utter fascination how you tried to control yourself and returned to sweet Aero. “ASDALDKLASSJDOASHOSH THANK YOU!!! YOU ARE SO SWEET!”

Bizzare.

19 years old, so bambi, so innocent, so helpless. I’m not buying your bullshit. Anyone who has been on tumblr for this long knows you. Anyone. You have been here since 2011 and in that year itself you have been tagging things like #bondage, #nsfw, #yaoi, and reblogging pictures of wanking dicks on your personal blog since you were 11-12 years old. Lol. What the fuck?  

Nevermind that. I guess you really do have a lot of money, as an 11/12-year old, to be already hosting gintama giveaways and required that whoever wanted to participate in your giveaways MUST BE following you. I guess you really already have such a great acumen for amassing followers and how to do it by 12 years old! 

Also, it’s amazing that you have been writing fanfiction, at 12-yrs old. Many of us started writing at 11 or 12, as well. But honestly, people’s writing skills grow from when they were 11-12 years old. How they write at 12 would not be how they write at 19, especially if they have been writing so much, day after day after day. Their writing style also changes with time as they grow older. But throughout these years, from the time you were on here, 2011- 2017, your style is pretty consistent. Didn’t you say you write 10k words a day or something? And you never ever have writing block. 

Doesn’t matter. I’ve been waiting for TIME or NEWSWEEK to pick up on such a prodigy author like you. Why haven’t they? You have movies based on your books coming out, you said. You are writing for 3 publishing houses, you said! All the while maintaining amazing grades at school. Just what the fuck. What kind of movies are coming out with an anonymous author and why haven’t the news talked about this? Why are you hiding yourself? Every published author is out there, advertising themselves and their books on social media. It’s standard practice. You, for some reason, claim it’s because you’re under contract? What kind of fcking publishing house would insist you keep yourself anonymous? A mafia-run business?

I didn’t have money at 12-years old for myself to spend. I certainly didnt have much money to buy fcking expensive merchandise from japan at 12-years old to be given away on blogs so people would follow me. Forget 12 years old, I was also poor as fck at 18 years old. When I was 18 years old and my laptop died, I still had to have my dad pay to fix it. 

Why do you still have “donate a coffee” button on your tumblr page if you are such a successful author? Why would you still need it? Why do you keep elaborating all your “successes” and accomplishments on Tumblr? Just... lol. Why?? You’re like, screaming for the people you hope will flock to you. All these instances of humble-bragging. It’s as if you desperately want to show others that you AREN’T a failure. It’s as if you are so deathly afraid of being called a loser. A failure. Each time someone shows me your shit, it’s about you talking about how you’re seldom on Tumblr anymore. Just what. LMAO. You’re still so fcking active though??? You sent a bloody message to my friend the very moment her own post was made! And you talked about how your career has taken off. Okay. Career taken off and browsing Tumblr incessantly, immediately pouncing on her post the moment it was made.

Whatever.

You and your disgusting followers and sycophants, bullied another friend, an actual friend, off tumblr, all of you attacked her in private anon messages. You or your disgusting cronies are still stalking her today, stalking her fanfiction accounts, leaving her disgusting messages on her fanfictions, causing her grief, insurmountable anxiety, and she shouldn’t even be feeling this way when she has already withdrawn from fandom years ago and has not returned. You still have the audacity to act like victims???????

Holy shit I am so angry, you are just. You make me retch. All of you women are just so vile, I don’t even want to call you women - you’re a disgrace and an utter stain on the gender itself. 

You are vile, vicious, disgusting, repulsive, lying, manipulative, heinous women who have chased plenty of people who do not worship you out of fandom. Who dared to raise their voice against you. You and your disgusting cliques caused them to close their blogs and delete their twitters. They were messed up by the harassment and they didn’t want to interact with the fandom ever again. Those stunts really worked. That’s why you tried to do it to me.

Sucks for you, I don’t take this shit kindly. 

I don’t know which one of you are more vile. Gintaes and ginhijis, you totally win the asshole award of all time.

You’re all disgusting people, who do disgusting shit and falsely accuse people of things because you can’t be called out for your shit-talking. You won’t admit to your mistakes. You keep going on and on in a roundabout way to justify yourselves, you attack people and call us bullies for calling you out on your assholery, and you tried every means possible to intimidate us, have people isolate us, shun us, and effectively chase us out. You’re pathetic, obsessive fucks and it took me this long to write a long post because I didn’t have time and stomach to digest the vile things you have all done all these while. 

LATS/Hasegawa didn’t get her ass burnt, Iwazu. You all ganged up on her with your massive follower count and mobbed her LMAO. She was one person. 

Not the first time you all did this.

So obsessed with hating Tsukuyo, the fictional girl whom you girls can’t stop talking about day in day out despite not being your favourite. Tsukuyo, whom you can’t allow to have fans. Any indication of her popularity must be challenged. You go as far as to make up lies and exaggerate her unpopularity, even though through the years I have posted multiple statistics that proved otherwise. Market research is a very real thing. Don’t act like an embarrassing ignoramus about it. You all go to such lengths to insult her character, a character that many people love, and you talk about her every single day. People take comfort in their favourite characters when they go through rough times in life. You are so ill-educated, that you absolutely must make your dislike known, and others must accept your voice. You get mad when others do the same to you. It’s all about you, you, YOU.

I mean hey, as long as ginhij and gintaes have a common enemy that is Tsukuyo/Gintsuki fans, amirite? 

I still have much of your shitty caps sent to me by people. I’m not going to post them up here. I’m sick, had enough looking through the caps again and I’m done. You yourself know what you have written. 

You can continue to stay here. Continue to act out that stupid farce, make up excuses, more lies, try to explain yourselves away, all of you, go on with your great pretension, and continue to victimize yourselves. And then, you can return to the cycle of elevating your own self-esteem by talking about your “accomplishments”, gintamajustaway, so people could admire you, and you feel your worth validated as a person. 

You keep babbling about yourself, and for so many years, too. I’m sure a great many people have seen your crap. Continue to edit your answers to same-face anons, protect your image. Go, you.

At the end of the day, I’m still angry that you threw out such a disgusting accusation at people, at me, and then make it seem as if it was just a ~fictional character~ we are mad about, and that we are the ones who are wrong. That level of gaslighting is phenomenal. Look where you have taken this, Aero, with your continuous defiance and false accusations, your inane theatrics. I would have felt sorry for you and your mental health if I weren’t so furious.

You can’t even be honest with yourself, aero. I can’t expect you to be honest with anyone. You’re utterly pathetic. All of you lot are. But making up lies about how people, including me, mocked your rape is the single most revolting thing to do in its own category. Fcking medal for you all.

[citruspeel]

undercover [6/6 (end)]

Lazy afternoons were Gin’s favorite. Especially when he’s drinking strawberry milk and lazing around reading JUMP. ...what? Did you expect some action with undercover courtesan Tae? You probably did, didn’t you? Gin did too, but lazy afternoons were all he got...

...so far.

--

[gintama fan fiction]

[gintoki x otae]

[2k++, final part]

Intro + Illustrations | Part 1 + Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

-

Tae tried not to stare at him as she continued folding her way through their pile of freshly laundered clothes. The amount was more than usual - Gin and Kagura had been staying over at their house for a week, and were to stay for one more for what Hijikata had described as ‘post-op detailed security.’

After the ruckus that was her undercover oiran stint, she understood how anyone would want to get her killed. 

“Eeeeh…”

Tae blinked; Gin’s voice brought her back to the present. It was hard to believe how he could calmly slurp up strawberry milk while reading JUMP, with nary a care, when just the other day he was stuffing a wig down Takasugi’s throat.

She felt her cheeks redden. Memories of that night always made her stomach hitch.

When Gintoki had barged into the room, she was still reeling from thinking about him as Takasugi had his way with her. He looked irritated, to say the least. An unspoken history between him and Takasugi also seemed to intensify this irritation. He addressed their target with utter contempt – maybe she wasn’t the only reason Gin was so incensed.

“Look, you fucking edgelord,” she remembered him starting. She found it hard to concentrate with her heart wanting to leap to her throat. She knew Gin had said something before he unceremoniously threw his wig to Takasugi’s face, but in the resulting brawl, she never did hear it. Tae did, however, as she fished behind a divider for her naginata, catch what he said afterwards.

“See, this is why that courtesan before said you weren’t fun,” Gin said, meeting Takasugi’s sword blow after blow. The floor creaked under them as they maneuvered throughout the room. “You can’t even tell when a girl likes what you’re doing or not!”

Takasugi smirked as he parried. “Why? Would you know how our courtesan here likes it?”

Gin scoffed as he swung, his foot stomping down on the pristine futon to ground himself. “Of course I do! When she likes it, she doesn’t freeze – she melts into you – ”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING, GIN-SAN?!”

Takasugi had staggered backward as Gin’s shoulder received the full blunt end of Tae’s naginata. Gin lost his balance and landed on the futon, eyes widening in surprise as Tae pinned him down with her weapon and a foot on his chest. She had done it out of anger (what did he mean, melt?!), but the sight of him gaping up at her, now also blushing beet red at remembering what he said, made heat flood all the way to her fingertips.

“Oh, I see,” Takasugi coughed out. Gin and Tae both prickled at his voice. They turned towards him, ignoring the small, tinny chorus of protests coming from Gin’s earpiece.

But before they could silence him, Takasugi stumbled backwards, falling to the floor with a thud.

“The alcohol, it’s –”

She never got to finish her sentence. Gin took the chance to slither from her grasp and pin down Takasugi, trying to shove the itchy wig down his mouth.

A rumble soon followed. As Gin and Takasugi fought over the wig, Kagura had appeared and yanked Okita out of the panel at the back of the room. The captain had been idly sitting, ever the spectator, chewing gum as he watched the ‘live show’ unfold. However, before Hijikata and Shinpachi could arrive, Takasugi’s liaison agent had entered, knocked Gin out with his guitar and immobilized them all with strings.

She couldn’t forget the last look Takasugi had thrown her way before his assistant led him away. He looked amused, even interested, as he glanced from her to the unconscious Gin.

What did he say…?

“Eeeh,” Gin’s voice again snapped her back to the present. She looked up from Shinpachi’s clothes and saw him eyeing her, head propped up on a hand, body splayed out on the ledge like a cat basking in the sun. He pushed around the milk carton’s straw across his lips with his tongue. “What’s the matter with you?”

She watched him let go of the straw and lick the corners of his mouth clean of strawberry milk.

Tae bristled.

“N-nothing.”

He raised his eyebrows as he scanned her from head to toe. “You’re red.”

Tae pursed her lips together and went back to folding.

“Don’t tell me…were you thinking of Takasugi?” Gin sat up and scooted next to her, unabashedly studying her face.

“What?” Tae avoided his eyes and reached for another shirt to fold. “Of course I’m not.” If you only knew who I was thinking about –

“You did kiss that shorty.” He clucked his tongue. “Don’t tell me he’s better than me. He even asked us once if kissing was like drinking out of a Yakult bottle.”

“Well, how should I know if you’re better?” She shrugged. “All you did was a…peck.”

“A peck?” Gin narrowed his eyes. “How was that a peck?”

Tae didn’t know what she was saying, but she let it all spew out anyway. “You did leave after just one kiss, Gin-san. You’re lucky Takasugi-san didn’t push further, or else he would’ve known you were a terrible teacher.”

Gin said nothing. He only propped his elbow on the table, rested his head on his hand and stared at her in disbelief. She could tell he was waiting for her to look at him, but she resisted. A part of her feared what he (she?) might just do.

“Terrible, huh.”

Tae took a deep breath; an unease was starting to settle over the two of them, a tension that she didn’t know how to resolve. It didn’t help that she couldn’t remember what it was that Gin had said when he had barged in. Was it linked to that? He did know she was just teasing, right? 

“Yes.” She gulped a lump in her throat. Why was she still going along with this? “You were absolutely terrible, Gin-san.”

Gin nodded slowly to himself as he watched her. 

“Oh well, maybe I should take back what I said.” He then leaned back on his hands and shrugged.

“What did you say?”

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. 

“…you didn’t hear me?”

“No. You threw your wig and it whizzed past me, so I never heard it.”

“Sucks to be you. I’m not going to repeat it.” He crawled on his arms halfway to reach his unfinished JUMP, which he left out on the ledge, but her hand clamped down immediately on his wrist.

“Ahh!!” Gin yelped. “Just what the hell are your hands made of?!”

“I’m just giving you a little massage,” she smiled as kneeled beside Gin, tightening her hold on Gin’s wrist. His hands were just a few inches shy from getting the magazine. “A little thank you for repeating what you said.”

Gin writhed against her grip, but she didn’t relent. He looked up at her, shrugged, then used his full strength to flip their hands and trap hers under his. The movement caught her unaware and sent her toppling over him as he laid on his back on the floor, hand still pinning hers.

“I said,” he murmured, voice low. He knocked his head back to look her fully in the eye as she loomed over him, her brown hair glowing gold in the sun as it cascaded over her shoulder. “You were something I didn’t want to share.”

Tae didn’t know if it was the sunlight or his words that made her nerves flood with warmth. She felt her hand go limp in his as Gin’s eyes bored into hers. She was at a loss on what to do; her heart was raging against her chest, her mind going blank, her face blushing bright.

“I…”

Words left her as he cupped her cheek and pulled her down to him. His lips were soft and warm, like the afternoon sun. His kiss felt like a memory she’d want to relive over and over again.

At their parting, his eyes were on her, dazed, astonished. His thumb grazed the edge of her lip and rested at the corner of her mouth. Tae felt like there were thousand thoughts behind his gaze; it was strange, for she only had one.  

His eyes locked into hers, searching, asking. His lips were slightly parted, as if he had a question he couldn’t voice out. She blinked at him, once, twice, slowly, her free hand holding her up over him as she breathed in to calm herself. It was impossible; the lack of distance between them made electricity thrum across her skin. She could feel him tense under her, his muscles bristling under his clothes as he watched her, waiting with bated breath. Words wanted to tumble out of her mouth, but before she could speak, her body answered for her.

She leaned down and placed a feather-soft kiss onto his lips. It was light, shy, curious – an answer to his silent question. She felt him relax under her, felt him smile against her lips. He broke away from her but kept his forehead on hers.  

 “Terrible, huh?” he murmured.

 “Yes,” she replied, her mouth a hair’s breadth away from his. “Very terrible.”

He took his time when he kissed her again. She was taken by surprise as to how his leisurely pace, claiming her lips with his own in repetition, was awakening a want inside her. It was a need that crackled dangerously down her spine. His fingers were lost into her hair as he reached up to tilt her head. Her heart quickened as he pressed the tip of his tongue against her lower lip, begging entry; her hand grasped at what she could as he slowly, tortuously, ran his tongue against her own. Tae didn’t know how her body withstood – he ignited her nerves in a way they had never been before.

Strawberry milk would never be the same, now that the taste of it in his mouth was spreading a heat that invaded her to her fingertips. It was a wonder how he made her feel both weak and invigorated at the same time. Soon, she learned his trade and met his kiss with matching fervor. She let herself melt into him again as he pulled her close, clutching loosely at his arm and shoulder as his hand found purchase by her waist.

He broke away. In a rustle of fabric, he moved to trap her between him and the floor. Their breathing sounded loud in the silence of the afternoon. Tae wondered if they should stop - the door was wide open, after all - but Gin wasted no time in taking her breath away. Soon, his lips were on her again, peppering her jaw with soft, lingering kisses.

She aimed to say his name, to make him pause, to help her regain her sanity, but only a small gasp escaped her. He had brought his attention to the base of her ear and was gently dragging his lips across her sensitive skin. Her grasp on his arms tightened; she was surprised at the touch. She felt him grin at his discovery, which he teasingly repeated to his desired reaction.

Gin’s hand gently held her nape to keep her accessible as he went on with his ministrations. His other hand covered hers, large, warm, comforting, grounding her back down to earth as his mouth took its time. Her heart rallied, beating fast, seemingly unable to keep up with the whirlwind of sensation. Her mind wheeled to and fro as her hand traveled up to his hair, grasping, as if he was her remaining hold on reality.

This is bad.

She could hardly think of anything else. The sliver of afternoon light that crossed into the room gave him a glow, making him unearthly – almost devilish – as he rose from the crook of her neck and held her gaze with heavily-lidded eyes. He traced her lower lip with his thumb before kissing her again - soft, warm, deep, slow - somehow unlocking a thirst within her that she felt only he could satisfy – 

“Aneue!”

“Anego! Gin-chan! We’re home!”

“Woof!”

 “…goddammit.”

 -

In the weeks afterward, it was decided that Operation Oiran was a failure. 

Hijikata assured her that it was his bosses’ fault that the operation had failed, and that she shouldn’t feel bad about the loss. It was their lack of foresight that brought the mission down. Okita jokingly said that it was entirely Gin’s fault, which led to Kagura kicking his ass for even daring to say that about Gin, even if he was right. Shinpachi went straight to Kondo and reprimanded him for even trying to pull Matsudaira’s crazy plan off, while Kondo cried and begged for forgiveness.

“We never should have agreed, Aneue,” Shinpachi said as he and his sister climbed up the steps to the Yorozuya. “The danger they put you in! I swear, that Gorilla will have to pay for this…”

 His words went in one ear and out the other. Tae found that it was hard to concentrate when, as they entered, Gintoki was sitting by his desk, feet up and crossed, drinking strawberry milk straight from the carton.

“Yo,” he said lamely, mouth still on the carton’s lips. Shinpachi shook his head, disappointed, saying his usual greetings out of habit before going to the kitchen to find Kagura.

Gin’s eyes gleamed at her.

“So, do you regret it?” He asked, placing his feet back on the floor and leaning forward onto his desk. Tae loomed over him as she placed her hands on the corners of his table. “Going undercover, and all that?”

Tae reached over and took the carton from his hands, taking a sip. The milk was sweet and tart, every drop a trigger.

“You know what?” she said, licking her lips. Gin smirked. “Not at all.”

   “ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH MY SISTER, GIN-SAN?! ARE YOU FLIRTING?!?!”

“Shinpachi, calm down, Anego and Gin were just...eyefucking -”

“Kagura-chan! Where did you learn that?! We, we weren’t - ”

“Not just with the eyes, Kagura, but we’ve also  - UOGH!”

“KATSURA WAS RIGHT, WASN’T HE? ANSWER ME, GIN-SAN! GIN-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAN”

-

A/N: Finally! Haha. What started out as a hurried piece of fanart became a ficlet, then became a 4-parter, which evolved into 6. Haha! It’s been a while since I wrote borderline smut LOL a chaptered fic. Was deciding against it at first but when you’ve got that nagging feeling, you just can’t let it go. It just badgered me to finish it. Here it is, lots of mistakes and 12k+ words later. :D

Huge thanks to the GinTae peeps for the encouragement and keeping the GinTae flame burning! Huhu you’re all too kind. 

Hope you enjoyed! Til the next fanfic, I guess? :D 

[awkward-kouyou-blog]

About Admin

So I saw a few of the awkward squad did it and I thought I'd do one too since I still have some free time so here we go~

(Nick)name? Preferred pronoun?

Bexi, Bex or Bec are the most common. I'm she/her 🌸

Birthday?

November 22nd, Sagittarius, year of the Tiger. 20 🌸

How would you describe yourself?

Way too passionate about fictional characters, an airhead, a daydreamer, night owl, intense, lazy. I'd say Ranpo is as close as you can get to my personality being similar to oen of the BSD babies 🌸

Hobbies/Interests?

Reading, writing, seiyuus, learning new stuff 🌸

Are you a fan of anime? If so, what are your favorite ones?

Well yeah I fell down this rabbit whole about six years ago so I'd say I'm a fan haha.

Some of my faves are Gintama, Psycho Pass, BSD obviously, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Durarara, BNHA, Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari, Akatsuki no Yona *the list is long really* 🌸

Do you ship? If so, what is/are your favorite ship(s)?

Tbh it's not really the first thing I notice or pay a lot of attention to in any show, i get swept into shipping the deeper I get into the series. I have no problem with any ship really as long as it's not minor/adult, that just irks me the wrong way. So... Soukoku is 👌🏻 tho, romantic or platonic I just love those two together, I really love Gintsu and Okikagu, and Todomomo 🌸

Favorite character(s)?

I love everyone really but since I can't just list every single one of them the top of the top are the gingers~ Kouyou and Chuuya just bring me so much joy, also Dazai and Ranpo and Gogol (yes a thirsty Gogol stan here woop) 🌸

As for non BSD characters: Sakata Gintoki, Sakamoto Tatsuma, Joseph Joestar, Caesar Zeppeli, Giorno Giovanna, Diego Brando, Izaya Orihara.... many... many... characters...

If you could bring any character to life to become your best friend (or partner), who would it be?

Yosano. We can go shopping and destroy misogynistic jerks while we're at it 🌸

If you could have any superpower (it can be from an anime, movie, video game, or anywhere really), what would it be?

Stand. I'd really love a stand. Like the concept of your soul/will power materializing into a ghost like thing? So freaking interesting and dare I say, fabulous 🌸

How many posts do you plan on posting a day?

I'm not sure really, two-three times a day and open to asks, submissions, interactions with the other blogs. I just want people to have a good time here 🌸

Time-zone?

... Eastern European Time

Other blogs/social media you want to share?

Ahm... my main blog is @bexis-mind and it is exactly what the name suggests. I spam-post whatever obsesses me and my twitter, @ErrorNotFound, is the same as my tumblr content wise 🌸

Anything else you'd like to mention?

I just hope I can find more people to fangirl with about anime and whatever else people want to fangirl about ☺

[regnigt]

I don't really ship Kagura with anyone in Gintama, not even when she's older. Not even when it's with someone close to her in age like Soyo, cute though it could be. It's not so much a matter of disapproving - it's just that for whatever reason Kagura ships don't happen to be my thing. So far at least.

There are some Kagura ships I'm indifferent towards and there are others that are particularly not my thing (I really don't want Gintoki/Kagura to be canon, for instance - it would just feel so weird to me).

But it doesn't really bother me what other fans ship either. It has no influence on what becomes canon. People can ship what they like. They shouldn't be attacked for what they like in their fiction.