#ginger jetlag

[penig]

Hamilton is winding up his political career and leaving things in order for his hand-picked successor, but he leaps at the chance of a junket to Takemizu Village. It'll be a good experience for his successor, a chance to prove themself; a nice honeymoon for Rocky and Ginger; and educational for Wallys, too!

Sandy starts right in arranging tours, sightseeing, and shopping.

They're kind of jetlagged, though, and the first tour leaves them all exhausted and hungry. "Thanks for ordering room service, but - isn't it very expensive? Just for food?" "We need food and we can afford the extra convenience." "This cake cost more than Grandma Faith used to make in a day!" "Grandma Faith was grossly underpaid." "Well, that's true."

(They damn near died in a TPK! The tour drained energy and hunger into the deep orange on everybody and we all know how dangerous that loop is! Fortunately I cut my teeth on Sims 1 and I can micromanage a crisis like nobody's business. If I could only get through real life crises as well!)

(Also, they have gobs of money and an all-family honeymoon is exactly what Hamilton would think appropriate.)

[chloeangelic]

💐 once you receive this lovely bouquet of flowers you have to mention five things you love, publicly, and send it to 10 of your favorite followers if you want. SPREAD POSITIVITY! ⛅️

im gonna try to respond to this jetlagged as hell awake for 24 hrs straight lfg

grilled chicken

oh my god why is this difficult

2. the last minute of grown woman by partynextdoor

3. the scene from the sopranos when junior becomes the boss (but not really) and paparazzi by xzibit is playing in the background

4. the sopranos in general especially bobby

5. blackberry ginger ale

this took me like 10 min to answer

[the-last-concert]

Chapter Twenty: Thick Skull

Speedy

Twenty-Four Hours Before the Last Concert

Speedy spent the whole night with Pepper in the studio after Victoria left. He had to swear up and down that he would look after Pepper, to get his mom to return home, peacefully. He always had Pep’s back. And it hasn’t stopped since they met. Pepper’s song came to him as a surprise. Speedy had to mask all of his turmoil around Pepper. It wasn’t intentional, but no man ever wants to hear someone else’s love for his woman. He means… a woman that he loves. And have loved since age 8. What could he do? Tell him not to sing it? Ditch him here? No. It was too late. They arrived in New York around 10 a.m. 

But…

Ever since Speedy found out about Pepper’s condition, he had to make Pepper’s recovery his top priority. Pepper had to beat it.  Speedy could not lose anyone else. Ever again. He was going to be a thorn in Pepper’s side on everything, but it was necessary. He didn’t care if Pepper snapped, fought, or resented him. There was no playing around. Cancer was basically a death sentence. 

“Speedy.” Pepper called him. 

Speedy looked up from the soundboard, as they were putting the finish touches on the song. Pepper was still in the booth, talking through his mic. After their arrival, they went straight to Zero Morale’s New York location. Right now, they were in the studio, finishing up Pepper’s song. Speedy was pleased with the lyrics. He hadn’t written a song in a long time. It was great to dust off his pen. They both had to ignore the small jetlagged traces in their system for this to work. 

“I’m in love with her.” 

It could not register in his ears, at first. There was an eerie ringing playing over and over. Speedy adjusted his weight in the chair. This wasn’t good. He had to calm down his heart rate. He felt the anger rising out of him. Once he slowed his heartbeat down, he looked at Pepper again. “Who?”

“Who? You know who. Moggie? Mahogany.”

Speedy had to hold his eyes from rolling. “Since when?”

“Since forever, Speedy. Does that really matter?”

“Yes. It does. Because frankly, it’s hard to buy.”

“What don’t you buy?” Pepper's voice bellowed. Speedy knew challenging him would piss him off. But he didn’t care. It seems a little too convenient. Maybe Speedy was letting his own emotions overrun. But since he last checked? Pepper’s treatment towards Moggie… wasn’t love. It was a procession. “That’s how I feel.” 

“Well…”Speedy didn’t want to tell him. But, he wasn’t going to lose on this. “So do I.”

Pepper laughed, it echoed through all the speakers. “Yeah…of course you do.”

Speedy’s eyebrow rose. Had he known this entire time? They never talked about it. “The fuck that suppose to mean?”’

“Nothing.” Pepper exits the booth, coughing. He hasn’t gotten used to the temperature drop yet. Speedy hands him the tea he made. It was ginger and cinnamon spice. Pepper looked down at the cup and smiled. “So… what do we do then?” 

Speedy went back to analyzing the riffs and ripples of the chords and notes. “I’m still telling her. This changes nothing for me.” 

“Even after I’ve written this song?” Pepper said, setting down the empty tea cup. Speedy handed him his pills for the day. Pepper groaned, but it made Speedy persist in nagging him. He gives up and does what he is told. 

“You mean after what we wrote.” He corrected him before shrugging. “And may the best man win.” 

Speedy smiles, devilishly. Because he knew it was going to be him. He silenced the nagging feeling of the song performance. Pepper was pulling all the stops, except one. He’s never contacted her directly. Speedy has. And made sure they never lost touch. No matter how far they were apart. And Cali was quite the distance from New York.  

Still… he wanted Pepper to be happy. He hated that about himself. Speedy doesn’t even remember a time anyone has chosen him. He hoped… Moggie would be his first. He let Pepper have everything growing up. Popularity… stardom. Girls. All the fucking girls. Speedy had to date an older woman because all the high school girls Pepper hogged. No. There wasn’t a chance in hell Moggie would choose him. That’s why he was able to be as calm as he was. 

Pepper scoffed, then smirked. “Naturally.”  Then he used Speed’s head as a rest placement for his arm. They went over the final sound for the song and called it a morning. 

Prep time for the concert started in five hours. First rehearsal with Paramore. They chose to sleep until then. They had a room in The Seasons. 12th floor. All expenses paid through Zero Morale. Speedy was good on finances, but he didn’t hate that their jobs came with perks. Hotel and travel expenses, being one of them. Speedy woke up first and was already annoyed with Pepper’s snoring. He shook his head and debated on smothering him with a pillow. Maybe if Pepper was at full strength. He ignored the urge and went to the phone to order room service. 

“You reached the front desk of the Seasons?”

“Yeah, can I have-”

“Hi.” Speedy’s eyes almost went through the phone. He hasn’t had that voice in so long. But he never could forget it. It was sweet… but dense. Like brown sugar. Moggie got his invitation. And coincidentally, she was staying at the Seasons too. It took all his strength not to rush to her immediately. “Sorry, this is where I check-in at?” 

“Yes, but I’m on a call with a guest. Give me one moment. ” The receptionist explained to her. Speedy couldn’t see her, but he knew she had to be kicking herself a million times over. She never liked to inconvenience anyone. He had to stop himself from laughing, imagining her face. “Sir? Sir?”

“Oh, that’s okay. It’s not important.” Then he clicked off the phone. He had no choice but to go out and get food. He thought this would be the perfect time to snoop around. And if he runs into her first, then it wouldn’t be a competition. Speedy took a quick shower and threw on some Nike techwear. He was about to leave the room, until he heard Pepper stir in his sleep. His breathing was abnormal. He rushed back and turned Pepper on his side, and his breathing resumed normally again. Speedy sighed in relief, but couldn’t leave him alone. He wanted to “accidentally” run into Moggie, but it would be shitty to leave a sick person to fend for themselves. 

“Speedy?” Pepper coughed. Speedy put his wallet and jacket down on the nearest table and chair. They could order room service. 

“What’s up, buttercup?” Speedy teased. 

“Shut up. Can you help me?” Pepper looked like moving, weighed a mountain. Speedy felt pity in his stomach, but admittedly transmuted it. It was the exact reason Pepper kept it a secret. He couldn’t look at him this way. 

“No problem.” Speedy said. “Grab my shoulder.” Pepper latched on to his brother-in-arms, and then was able to get out of the bed faster. Once he checked the balance of Pepper’s feet, he let go. 

“Man, I’m hungry.” Pepper said, rubbing his eye like a toddler from a nap. “Were you about to grab something?” 

“Yeah, but decided not to.” Speedy admitted. “We got room service. Might as well use it.” 

“No doubt.” Pepper snickered through his teeth. “Not like it’s our money anyway.” 

Speedy plopped on Pepper’s bed, grabbing a menu. “What’d you need? Besides a shower?” 

“Fuck off.” Then Pepper started to smell himself, and shook his head. “Anything fried and greased up.” 

“How about egg whites and grits, with toast?” Speedy suggested, but more of command. He didn’t feel like explaining anything to Victoria later. 

“Man.” He clicked his tongue. “Fine. But put any avocado near my shit-I will lose my shit.” 

“You got it, stink.” Speedy teased him more. Pepper looked like he was going to kill him. But ended up grabbing his towel, heading into the shower. 

“You’ve reached Room Service of the Seasons.” An older receptionist answered. She sounded velvety. Speedy had to resist flirting with her. It came so easy to him. “Uh? Mr. Davis? How can I help you?” 

“Ye-yeah.” Speedy stopped thinking about her voice and focused on the menu. “Can I get your Garden Special breakfast? Hold off on the avocado. Then a Maple Tower deluxe? Extra maple syrup.” 

“But of course, Mr. Davis.” The receptionist sounded like she was smiling on the phone. It made him smirk, slightly. “And the drinks?”

“Two green leaf-“

“Black!” Pepper called from the bathroom. Sounded like he was shaving, he heard the electrials razor blades humming. 

Speedy rolled his eyes. He never shaved unless he was trying to impress someone.  “One black Earl Grey and one Jasmine green tea please.” 

“Alright. Your order should be ready, shortly. Thank you for using the room service of the Seasons. Enjoy your morning.” 

“You too.” 

Pepper opened the door and had one genetic towel, hanging off his neck. And the other wrapped around his torso. Speedy wanted to curse himself. Cause even throughout college, Pepper’s weight and muscle ratio were clean to none. All his abs looked like a fucking washboard. Speedy had to stop himself from glaring. He never could put on more muscle. He was already thin and tall. It made him fast. But that’s all he could ever do. He ate twice as much, still nothing. What do they call it? High metabolism. But with Pepper, bulking came so easy to him. And the tattoos didn’t help. All through the sides of his arms and on his neck, stopping mid-point on his spine. He literally was a cliche of a rockstar. 

“Should I get you and the rep a room?” Pepper jokes, plopping on the bed next to him and flipping through the channels. 

Speedy scoffed. “Didn't I hear sounds coming from the shower?”

“Aye, what a man does in the shower, is his business. I ain’t like you. I gotta contain mine.” 

“No, you’re just fucking horny with no sex drive.” 

“Wanna talk about my sex drive again?” Pepper sprayed water in his face. Where’d the spray bottle even come from? 

Speedy tried to block it with a pillow, but Pepper knocked it out of the way. Now, they were wrestling on the bed. Pepper tried to pin him into a headlock. But Speedy flipped over the edge and landed on his feet. 

“Cover up, man.” Speedy threw the loose towel over Pepper’s junk. “No one wants to see that this early in the morning.” 

“Ha!” Pepper laid back and propped his arms into the pillows, posing like a nude model. “Jealous?”

“Don’t make me laugh.” Speedy failed to hold in his laughter. “You know what I’m packing.” 

Pepper was about to reply, until a knock on the door stopped him. Pepper quickly found some boxers and a ripped T before Speedy opened the door. Speedy smiled back, as he festered the door wide enough for the bellhop’s cart of food to come in. 

“Time to eat.” 

They made it to Madison Square Garden. Barely. Pepper showed distress while Speedy had to calm him down for tonight. His uneasiness was making Speedy tense up even more. He gets that performing isn’t easy, especially with Stars with more experience. But… Pepper asked to perform. Nah. He fucking demanded to, like his livelyhood depended on all of this. Speedy thought, maybe it did. Maybe Pepper is so anxious because of the blackout before. Or the fact this one performance can sink or float his whole music career. He was scared for him. But Speedy didn't want to admit it outloud to him. This was the opportunity they wanted since age 15. Or… maybe 16. Either way, music was part of both their lives. Just like sports were. All around, they were American boys, striving on the two biggest takeaways their free country was known for. 

“Short breaths.” Speedy kept repeating to him. “Short breaths.” 

Pepper was pacing in the main room. He wore his lucky beanie and leather jacket for stage presence. Nothing underneath. Then paired them with light-washed denim jeans and steel black leather boots. His glare reached Speedy’s eyes, nostrils flaring.  “Don’t patronize me.” 

“I ain’t. But anyone with eyes can see you’re not doing so hot.” 

“I just… I need a minute.” 

“Okay. And? What then?” 

“Just get off my case. I still have time until they come.” 

“And when they do? Will you be ready?” 

“Yeah.”

“Pepper.”

“I said yeah.” 

There’s a knock on the Main room’s entrance. “What?” 

They answered, together. The door swung open with the sound producer and one of Big Man’s bodyguards. “Paramore will be here in five.” 

Speedy looked at his watch, knowing they were early. Too early. “Okay. Thanks.” He had to answer, but anyone else lingered in the room. He was always protecting Pepper. So much so, it didn’t even register as a second thought. Just instinct. 

Pepper pulled a metal chair underneath him to calm down. He sat backwards, head resting on the backpiece. “I need-” 

“Yeah. Here, just take mine. I’ll go get our passes.” Speedy threw him a water bottle. Pepper immediately started drowning in the pour. He took his beanie off, and shook his head from the water droplets. “Just don’t die.” 

Pepper threw him the middle finger, before Speedy shut the door on him. He hoped it got him laughing. But, he couldn’t worry about that now. He had to check them in, find the passes, and hopefully get through this rehearsal all in one piece. 

“Malachi.” 

Speedy swung around and saw Clarissa catch up with him. She’s the Head of Zero Morale’s PR. And…she reminded him of her. Not that he would compare. No one can compare to Moggie. However, their height was the same. Onyx complexion and their sense of fashion too. Dark academia street wear apparel. If she wasn’t from Emeryville, Speedy would’ve sworn she grew up around the block from them in Mystique. 

They were that similar.

She was Big Man’s right hand (aside from the other ladies he had around as his “secretaries”). Clarissa looked out for Speedy’s work at Zero Morale and always made sure he had the upper hand. She was the one who suggested they come on the trip in the first place. He wasn’t mad at her unnecessary generosity, but he always thought she wanted more out of it. And he was afraid it was something he couldn’t return. But….He couldn’t have been more wrong. She was just a real person. 

“How’s he doing?” Clarissa asked him, smacking her hand on his shoulder. “Ball of nerves, huh?” 

Speedy grinned, knowing exactly who she was talking about. “Man, it’s like talking a person off the edge. But.…he’s ready.” 

“I know.” Clarissa waved her hand, as they both walked toward the front entrance. “You made sure of that. You always do.” 

“I know what they say behind his back. Why Big Man calls him Pick.” Speedy told her. “But I.. actually know him. And hopefully, tomorrow, the world will know him too.” 

“Let’s hope you’re right.” Clarissa chuckled. They reached the check-in table and signed their names. Then picked up their passes. Clarissa noticed Speedy had one extra one that he kept staring at for a while. “For a friend?” 

Butterflies flipped around like a roller coaster inside Speedy’s stomach. “Yeah. Sort of. She grew up with me and Pepper. And I haven’t seen her in… ages.” 

“Looks like this trip was meant for you then.” Clarissa teased him. “Just don’t lose focus in front of X.”

“I won’t. You know that.” Speedy reassured her. Especially when it was her neck on the line, for the gig. Clarissa nodded and caught up with other members, moving equipment. He heard her barking orders and began to chuckle silently. He needed to see Moggie soon. The anticipation was nearly killing him.

Rehearsal was wrapping up, and it went better than Speedy expected. He thinks he even saw Big Man smirk a little. Paramore’s set ran with no complications. And Pepper’s performance blended well with their set list. The song moved a lot of people already. 

“Shit, who knew?” One of the stage managers said. “Pepper’s voice is unreal.” 

“Think he’s single?” One of the secretaries gossiped with the other workers. 

Speedy knew this would have been the outcome. Pepper was not a talentless kid. His hand was in every type of music he could think of, blues, jazz, rock, metal, hip-hop, r&b, gospel… etc. Anyone pulling from that many genres, were going to pick up a skill or… three. Pepper could sing, play guitar, and produce. He had an ear for any and everything with a beat. And that’s one of the reasons they got along so well. Speedy had the same love for music too. 

“Speedy.” Big Man called him over and Speedy walked across the back curtain to meet him. Big Man was signing off more things before he addressed him again. “Tell Pepper nice work. Hayley was impressed. Make sure he rests up for tomorrow. And absolutely NO partying until the concert is over. Clear?”

“Like glass.” Speedy smiles, as Big Man daps him before he leaves. 

[ajoytobeheld]

Stars and stripes

January 31st, 2009

So we’ve been in the mighty U S of A for nearly two weeks now and it feels like the time has come to update you guys on some Los Camp! touring antics…the crazy rock n’ roll lifestyle we lead…ahem. Also, today is one of the longest travel days of the tour and boredom inevitably leads to blogging (and daydreams about Marks and Spencers food at petrol stations, god you bastards are lucky). First of all we were going to do a completely hand-drawn picture blog, but we have a short attention span so we gave up, but one has made it in as proof of our good intentions. So going back to the beginning…

We flew into the bright lights of NYC to be greeted by our lovely tour manager Joe…complete with jaunty cap (oh how we’ve missed that cap), fancy tour itineraries and personalised baseball card laminates.

It has to be said, the initial delight of having a laminated baseball card with our names on it has kinda worn off - me and Ellen have had some pretty confused looks from bouncers when trying to get into our own shows by waving our laminates at them. I guess they kind of have a point.

But yeah, New York was awesome as always; we only got to spend a day there but we experienced some new places in Brooklyn:

Gareth got excited about some glorious vegan-friendly fudgy cake, me and Ellen got excited about the chance to raid through Beacon’s closet, everyone else was probably excited for some other reason…more importantly though, we went bowling.

And I’m not mature enough not to gloat about winning, so woohoo (I, Ellen, would like to now point out that I may have come last, but it was my choice to fail so dismally). I think the boys are recovering slowly but surely. We played an instore at Soundfix, and then raced across to Habouken where Titus Andronicus were playing with Vivian Girls. Sadly, our poor little jetlagged selves couldn’t handle a late night so we had to leave promising the Titus boys plenty of future partying on tour.

So the first proper show was at Baltimore…this is what it looked like from where Ellen was standing:

She drew it whilst playing bass and juggling with knives. It was our first chance to hang out a little with the Titus boys; the start of something beautiful.

In Carborro we celebrated Tom’s birthday:

there was cake, animal birthday candles, an on-stage birthday singalong…everything to make him feel every part the birthday boy. He loved it:

We played 3 shows in Florida, where the tour motto of Bromance was born after Titus and the boys shared a hotel room for the night. We can’t elaborate on what happened, but how about we just all let our imaginations do the work.

While we were in Tampa, Gareth spent the whole day on a mission to claim the top 3 places on “Puzzle Bobble” leader board, only to be creamed by a local after her first go on it.

The Bottletree in Birmingham was one of the prettiest venues we’ve ever played, and had an amazing array of things to keep us amused in the backstage area: rubiks cubes, massage chairs, Connect 4, ‘The Complete Guide to Erotic Cinema’, Rosie O’Donnell’s biography, Hulk boxing gloves, an ataris, some lint.

Then we played a show in Memphis where the crowd were probably the best we’ve ever had. That made us happy. The next day we realised two of our glock beaters had mysteriously disappeared…So we’re going to go ahead and throw it out there that perhaps they may be somewhere in Memphis… Of course it could just be that we lost them. We’re pretty scatty. Either way: Glock Beaters Number 11 and 12 (average lifespan is 3 months) we miss you.

We had some time off in New Orleans so we all got up to some interesting things:

Todge had a cheeseburger for breakfast. Ellen got her hair done so now she’s a bit ginger. I’m talking her through it. I went to a Voodoo temple and got some blessed “success” oil. Me and Ellen dabbed some on yesterday, so I’m sure success is imminent. Ollie and Tom sampled the local doughnuts, bought some postcards, did some laundry. Gareth found a vegan friendly cafe. Neil found a burger place. We all tried typical Creole cuisine which was yummy and then we might have had some group outings to establishments on Bourbon Street. We probably watched some Family Guy somewhere along the way.

[Your favourite bloggers on Bourbon Street]

To sum up we’ve learnt some important lessons so far:

1. Pickled products are the height of popularity…some “favourites” we’ve come across are pickled pigs feet/noses and pickled sausages

2. Eric from T.A. can solve any rubiks cube 3. Barely Legal>Big Daddies>Little Darlings 4. Which venues can cater for vegans. 5. No one leaves N.O.L.A. with any dollar bills left in their wallet. 6. I (Ellen) am fairly certain I am not a cylon. But I can’t be sure.

The audiences have been amazing throughout, thank you lovely people for coming and making us feel welcome and liked.

Lots of love, Aleks and Ellen xxx

p.s

somewhere along the way this happened...

[lamponellatempesta]

Hello Fam, here I am,so so late, as always! I was inspired by my bro ginger to do this with my Oc, Daniel Ferrante, who's Raven's best friend since kindergarten, so now let's see him in these three cathartic moments!

He's not a dinosaur nerd, he's just a photographer who is at camp because he won a photo contest where he didn't know the grand prize was a visit to Jurassic World. But it was a free trip, he wouldn't have gone to school, his best friend with him, and in addition he could have done other shots for his portfolio, and dinosaur photos definitely would give him spotlight! So why give up this opportunity. Here we see him enthusiastic showing the others some photos he has taken on the boat, when he was not affected by jetlag or sea sickness. (yes, I know they are tarot cards, let's pretend they are photos)

In the second picture we have Daniel during season 3. After Ben’s fall from the monorail and the abandonment of his best friend, who went in search of Ben, Daniel decided to take on the responsibility of being one of the leaders so as not to leave everything on Darius' shoulders. Over the months his personality has changed a lot, becoming much colder and detached, with a rage and a latent pain inside him, not allowed to explode because his friends needed a leader and not a fragile person. Things will ease over time when he realizes that despite everything he can not continue to do everything alone, the return of Ben and Raven and the strong bonds created with Brooklynn and Kenji will play a central role in this. At the start of third season a few flashes of himself carefree and happy will be visible again, before the situation collapses definitely. The injury to the eye is caused in the clash with the Scorpio Rex that occurres the night before the incident with Wu, in a desperate attempt to defend his friends. This will compromise his already precarious sight in subsequent seasons.

Here we have Daniel 2 years later, past Fallen Kingdom events. Daniel after an almost complete physical recovery - his eyesight has been damaged too much and he is forced to wear contact lenses continuously, he will have to undergo a correction surgery once his vision has stabilized. It also counts other numerous scars on the whole body,- he finishes his studies and then decides to return to work on Mantah Island, where Mae made him rediscover his lost love for science and a new interest in the welfare of the dinosaurs, raised over the course of the various seasons, despite the various traumas, and to carry on the ideals in which his best friend Raven, remained on Nublar, believed in. As he continues to carry on his work on the island, he decides to enroll in university to follow the road of Mae, because he is more and more fascinated by the work she does, meeting Ben again there,and also becoming his 'boss', when the boy joins in the work. He brings with him the hardened personality but slowly over time seems to find the right balance between the negative and positive emotions on which he tries to work to find serenity and be able to live with the traumas that the island caused him. The return of Raven will give him great benefit because he will find a focal point of reference together with the camp fam, which he thought he would never see again in person.

Ehi camp fam! I don't know how many of us have Oc's or self inserts for the series but to give some love to them too I thought of a little game. Inspired by @lamponellatempesta using this picrew (link) to make post-island Ben, make your Oc on the first day of camp, in between seasons and in the finale/Fallen Kingdom.

Here is my Oc, Raven!

(I had this idea after making the first one so ignore the rain effect there)

On the first day he is clearly excited to be at Camp! Dinosaurs are his passion especially their behavior and communication, like the corvids he shares name with he tries to mimic them.

Second image is post s2, he is helping Darius with his book after being reunited with all of them. It is a short lived reunion as he says goodbye to them when they leave and he doesn't.

Last is him 2 years later, during the events, or better after the events, of Fallen Kingdom, in the moment Brooklynn finds him during her investigation in what remains of Lookwood Manor. What follows is a big reunion at Darius's house. He gets unofficially adopted by Dave and Roxie.

[libraryofloveletters]

Yours In Every Lifetime

Carlos Sainz Jr x Teammate!Fem!Reader 

Warnings: a few swear words, being sick, throwing up and a slightly gross description of, a bit of tension between Carlos and Daniel, some sort of mystery illness, ignoring feelings, alcohol and the consumption of, confessions of love, few kisses, being tipsy/drunk, Rupert being matchmaker pt.2, the boys being the best secret keepers. 

Word Count: 6.8k

Author’s Note: the highly requested part two!! I hope I lived up to y’all expectations :) **also I skipped Hungary straight to summer break, just go with it :) // anyone who showed an interest in part one, I tagged below! hope that’s okay :)) 

Part One: In This Lifetime Or Another  // Part Three: ‘Till Death Do Us Part 

---- 

2022, Sunday @ France 

The door knocked, quarter past 9 in the morning and you weren’t set to leave until 10:30. Was Pat already coming to bug you? You call out that you're coming and you head over to open the door. 

“Room service,” the man smiled at you, waiting to step in. You let him step by, “I didn’t order anything.” You tell him, watching as he stops the cart and shifts the tray onto the table in your room. 

“It’s from another guest.” he says, going to step back out. “Hold on!” You call after him, reaching for your wallet to give him a tip. 

The man shakes his head, “that won’t be necessary, miss. It’s been taken care of. Have a nice day,” he smiles at you before leaving you in the doorway. 

Your brows pull together as you shut the door and walk over to see what had been sent to you. There’s a large tray on the table, there's all your favourite breakfast foods but when you see the toast with no crust, you realize who had sent you breakfast. There’s a note tucked under the plate and you pull it out. 

Good luck Pep. 

XO, Chilli 

You smile to yourself before finding your phone to send a text to the man. 

To Chilli Sainz: Come help me eat all this. 

It’s another 5 minutes before there’s a knock on your door and you call out to come in. When you turn, you’re met with a bright red t-shirt screaming at you. “Good morning,” you smile at him, pouring out a cup of coffee before sitting down. 

Carlos locks the door and walks over, pressing a kiss to your head. “Morning cariño,” he walks around and sits across from you. You slide the cup over to him and pour out another one for you. 

The two of you split the food, eating in comfortable silence. You hadn’t done this since his days at McLaren. It was nice to know that some things don’t change. 

He broke the silence first. “Are we going to talk about it?” 

“About what?” You hum, taking a bite of your toast and clearly ignoring the tension weighing on you both. 

Neither of you had spoken since Austria. Rupert had come back just after Carlos admitted that to you and picked up Harlow, Carlos had left with them. 

“Nothing.” He breathes, watching as you take a sip of your coffee. Your hand waivers for a moment before you set the cup down after taking a sip; Carlos notices. 

“You okay?” he asks, picking at a piece of watermelon. 

“Fine, why?” you ask, passing a hand through your hair and sighing. “You look kinda..” 

“What?” you look at him, resting your hand flat on the table. “You look pale, are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Just jetlag.” You lie, fully well knowing it was not that. 

You had been feeling woozy since Tuesday but you brushed it off and assumed it was the heat and the travelling. You were now starting to think it was more than that and you weren't even sure if you’d be able to drive if you kept feeling like this. Today was an important race, points were needed to bump McLaren up and both you and Daniel needed to be in tip top shape. 

Carlos leaves 15 minutes later, telling you he’d see you around the track. 

You two arrive 20 minutes after each other and you bump onto your favourite ginger on the way to the McLaren garage. “How are you?” He asks, pulling you into a hug that makes you lose your balance for a second. 

“Good, how are you ?” you ask, pulling away. 

“Good, hot.” He chuckles, glancing up at the sun shining down on the track. You nod, pulling your shirt away from your torso a few times, giving yourself some cool air.  You make your way to the garage, collapsing into a chair when you step inside, the sun and you were not friends today. 

“Daniel!” you call for your teammate, making grabby hands at his water bottle. He hands it over to you, leaning on the all next to you as he watches you chug the water down. 

“You okay?” He asks and you groan; those stupid words again. 

“I’m fine, Dan.” you hand him back the almost empty water bottle and stand. “Ready for today ?” You smile at him. 

Daniel’s hands are on your shoulders, giving you a shake. “Let’s fucking get it!” He shouts, making you laugh and you shallow the urge to puke. You excuse yourself to change, making your way to your driver’s room only to empty the contents of your stomach into the toilet. 

You hadn't left your driver's room yet and you were sweating through your fireproofs. You changed into another pair and pulled your race suit up to your hips. It’s nearly 40 degrees out today, and you were not built for the heat. 

The walk back to the garage which usually took 2 minutes felt like a whole mile and between the heat and the blurred vision you were currently having, you wanted to call out of the race. 

You can’t. 

They need the points. 

You need the points. 

You force yourself into the car, putting on your helmet and taking a few breaths before pulling out of the garage. 

----

The race was nothing but a mindfuck. 

Even completely fine, Paul Ricard did not sit well with you, leaving you dizzy every time. The heat and the blurry vision caused you to swerve a bit, clipping Pierre’s front wing with yours as you rounded turn 4 and you both had to pit for a change. 98% of the race, you weren't exactly sure where you were and you were following whoever was in front of you. 

It was a kick in the side to know that you could have done better but you didn’t. You had a few slips, swerving which caused you to drop a few places and end in 7th. When you pull into parc fermé, you lean back and rest your eyes for a few moments as you try to gather the strength to get out of the car. 

One tug and you pull your helmet off and your balaclava in another tug. You pass a hand through your hair and lean your head back, catching your breath. Your head is spinning and pounding simultaneously all while your heart is racing and you can hear it in your ears at this point. Someone pats your shoulder and you look over to see your teammate, Daniel. 

“P7, not too shabby.” He smiles at you, his signature grin on his face. 

You hum, eyes closed. Daniel’s brows pull together as he looks down at you in the car. He crouches down, shifting himself to block you from the cameras. 

“Talk to me, what’s going on? You look like you’re gonna pass out, kid.” Daniel loved to call you kid even though you were only 8 years younger than him. 

“I feel like it,” you give him a soft chuckle, sitting up to pull your wheel off. 

Daniel watches you struggle for a minute before pulling it off for you, resting it under the halo as he gets up. 

Daniel grabs your hand, helping you out the car as you two head back to the garage. His arm is over your shoulder; a typical stance from the two of you to the large crowd but to you, Daniel was your only support at the moment. All your weight was being rested on the man as he walked you two back to the garage. Straight past the crew and to your driver’s room before he sets you down on the couch. 

No one thought anything of it but Carlos noticed you and Daniel passing by. The way you were leaning on him resembled a very drunk you leaving the club; except he knew you weren’t drunk so what was really going on? 

He excused himself from the crowds and followed you two back to your driver’s room. 

Daniel rests your helmet on your table, watching as you tug on the strap of your race suit, undoing it before unzipping it. You tug the race suit down to your hips and lay back, Daniel comes over, switches on the fan in your room and holds the drink bottle out for you, resting the straw by your lips. 

“Small sips,” he tells you, the palm of his hand pressed to your forehead to feel for a temperature. 

“How’re you feeling?” He asks you when you sit up, “light headed, dizzy.” you whisper, eyes closed. 

“Do you want to see the doctor? I think you should, kiddo.” “No! I’m fine,” you assure the man. 

You weren’t fine. Something was definitely wrong and you couldn't place what it was but you knew it wasn't okay. You probably picked up a stomach bug or it was one of those one day fever stints but the heat and the 2 hours spent driving in circles was not helping. 

“Y/n, I'm taking you to see the doctor, come on.” He pulls you up but you drop back onto the couch. “Danny, I'm fine. Just need some rest.” 

“You’re so fucking stubborn,” Daniel grumbles, “this is more than needing rest, y/n.” 

“Daniel please, I don't want to go.” You finally look at him and Daniel sighs. He goes to speak but there's a knock on your door. He opens it and he’s surprised to see the Ferrari race suit in front of him. 

“Carlos ?” he didn’t even have time to say much else when the Spaniard pushed into the room. “You shouldn’t be here,” Daniel says. 

He knew you and Carlos were on rocky terms but he also knew that you two had shared a moment in Austria. Daniel was like the annoying big brother that you always wanted and you found yourself opening up to him randomly, telling him everything that was on your chest. He had always been a shoulder to cry on when things go wrong or the same shoulders that lift you up in triumph when you succeed. 

Carlos ignored Daniel, now crouched down in front of you. His hands rests on your knees, his eyes studying your pale, sweaty skin. “Qué sucedió? Estás bien?” he asks you softly, rubbing your knee. 

You shrug, head back and your eyes closed as you speak. “No me siento muy bien, claramente.” Even when you were sick, you still found a way to give him attitude. 

Daniel didn’t know you understood Spanish, let alone spoke it. “Hate to break up the moment, but she seriously needs to see the doctor and Carlos, mate - you’ve gotta go.” 

Something in Carlos flips, he gets up and turns to Daniel. “You think so ? You think she needs to see the doctor ?” He scoffs, his arms folded across his chest. “She’s your teammate, Daniel. How the fuck could you let her race in that condition ?” He shouts, now pointing to you and you have no energy to keep up with them and their bickering. 

“Me?” Daniel points to himself. “Am I her keeper, Carlos ? Yes, I’m her teammate and I asked her multiple times if she's okay. She assured me she was and she didn't look like that before the race so don’t put this shit on me,” he shouts back at the Ferrari driver.  

“Get out.” Carlos says plainly. That caught your attention, you manage to pull yourself up and your hand is pressed to the armrest of the couch to hold your balance. 

“What ?” Daniel scoffs, clearly amused at Carlos’ sudden display of interest in you.  

“Carlos, stop it.” you whisper, the words barely coming out. “Dan, you don’t have-” 

“No, no.” Your teammate sighs, “it’s okay. I’m a phone call away if you need me, kid.” Daniel tells you, stepping out and leaves you with Carlos, who turns to face you and you look at him, the disgust on your face making him sick to his stomach. 

“Where's Pat?” He asks, knowing your PT is never too far from you. “Had a family emergency, left mid race.” You hum, sipping on the water from the bottle Daniel left on the couch. 

“Okay,” Carlos paces the room for a second, “clearly you can’t go to press like that.” He tells you and you roll your eyes. 

“I think I look great.” You say, now sitting on the couch again. Carlos smiles, coming over to brush the hair from your face. “You always look beautiful.” He says, looking around for something. 

He grabs your phone off the table, “password?” 

“Same as it’s always been.” You tell him, he nods. The two of you had set the same password after a mishap in Japan 2019 where one of you -cough, him, cough- got a little too drunk and couldn’t remember their room number or the password to their phone which had the room number in it. After that day, you set the same password for emergencies like that. 

He calls Rupert and tells him he needs a huge favour and within the next ten minutes, Rupert is in your driver’s room with a change of clothes for Carlos and is willing to stay with you during Carlos’s time with the press. You assure both of them that none of this is necessary and that you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. Based on the fact that you were about to fall asleep mid sentence, they both ignored your assurance and Rupert stayed with you for that hour before Carlos came back. 

Your team was more than understanding, it was clear you weren’t in the best of conditions right now and needed the rest. 

Your health takes priority over any press. 

At some point, he takes you out the back and to the parking lot, you’re strapped into the car as he pulls out. You’re in and out of consciousness for most of the drive before the car stops and he takes you up to your hotel room. It’s early in the afternoon compared to when the drivers usually return so you don’t have any paparazzi to deal with before heading upstairs. 

You aren't fully sure how you change out of your clothes or how you get onto the bed with a thermometer stuck under your arm but you were. You heard Carlos tell you have a fever before you fell asleep. 

It feels like a long time that you had been asleep before you woke up with the sudden urge to throw up. You aren't even sure if Carlos is still in the room but you’re off the bed and into the bathroom in record time. You’re now kneeling in front of the toilet, throwing up for the second time that day; you hadn't eaten anything other than some eggs and toast, coffee and a few pieces of fruit that morning but all of that had been emptied prior to the race. At this point, it was just the water you had been drinking in order to keep yourself hydrated and stomach acid. 

It burned your throat when it came up and by the time you were done, you were exhausted. 

Carlos knocked on the door, sticking his head in to see you on the floor, leaning on the cupboards under the counter. When he steps in, you’re leaned over and throwing up again. He moves to behind you, pulling your hair away from your face and rubbing your back softly. 

You groan, wiping your mouth on the sleeve of your hoodie before leaning back against Carlos. The man props you up for a moment, flushing the toilet before helping you pull off the hoodie. He tosses it off to the side before letting you fall back against him. 

“You don’t have to be here.” You whisper to him. 

“I know.” He answers, his hand reaching to hold yours.  

“You know I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.” You say and he looks down at you, “what ?” 

“You always pushed me to be my best, it’s funny because I haven’t found that anyone else.” You admit to him. 

Carlos brushes the hair from your hair, writing up your words to sleepy delirium before carrying you to bed. He sets you on the bed, your words running through his mind over and over. He puts the trashcan next to the bed in case you need to throw up again and he sits beside you, rubbing your side softly before pulling the blanket up to your waist. 

---- 

2022, Monday @ France 

The next morning, the sun wakes you up. You sit up and stretch the stiffness away as you look around and adjust to the sudden light in the room. You look over to see the man sleep on his stomach, his hands tucked under the pillow and his brown hair sprawled all over. The sight warms your heart when you lean over to kiss his cheek but then you remember the events of last night; you decide against it before getting up to get yourself ready. An hour in the bathroom, two rounds of brushing your teeth and a shower from head to toe and you were finally starting to feel clean. 

When you get out of the bathroom, you find Carlos sitting on the bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Smells like lavender,” he calls, laying back on the pillows. 

“Yeah, my shampoo.” you tell him, looking for your lotion. 

The fluffy white robe was wrapped around you as you searched. You climb onto the bed when you find it, stretching your leg out to rub the lotion on your skin. 

“How you feeling ?” he asks, looking over at you. 

“Better; not wanting to puke so that’s a plus.” you chuckle. Carlos nods, “no more dizziness or anything like that?” he asks you, double checking. 

“All clear now; I think it was probably one of those one day fever bullshit.” You shrug, getting up to look for something to wear. “You hungry ?” he asks, rolling over to grab the room service menu off the nightstand. 

“Kinda.” you find some shorts and a t-shirt and disappear into the bathroom to get dressed. When you come back, Carlos is on the phone ordering breakfast for you two while you search for your own phone. 

You find it and scroll through what you missed as you get back onto the bed. There’s a few emails to answer and texts but one person crosses your mind. 

To Danny Ric: I’m sorry for his behaviour yesterday. He’s an ass sometimes 

From Danny Ric: An ass that clearly cares about you. All good kiddo, I'll blame it on the heat haha 

From Danny Ric: Feeling better? 

To Danny Ric: much, needed some rest and meds but I’m feeling better. 

To Danny Ric: Still good for Ibiza ?? 

From Danny Ric: Of course! Gotta get through Hungary first but we’ll head out home to repack and then head out from there 

To Danny Ric: perfect :) I know you fly out today, have a safe flight 

From Danny Ric: will do, be safe and make smart choices kiddo (use protection!) 

To Danny Ric: GROSS! 

You laugh at Daniel’s message and toss your phone on the other end of the bed. “What’s so funny?” Carlos asks, you shake your head. “Just Daniel being a weirdo.” 

“Food should be up in 15.” He tells you and you nod, laying back beside him. “Any plans for the break?” Carlos asks, making small talk to fill the awkward silence. 

“Yeah, headed to Ibiza with Danny for a week or two; undecided how long. You?” 

“That’s nice,” Carlos says, “I'm headed there too but going home to spend some time with the family in Mallorca first.”

“Good, good. I know how much you guys love it there.” You glance at him and he smiles, nodding. 

A part of Carlos wants to tell you to ditch Daniel and come home with him. 

He knows you love Mallorca as much as he does; the two of you had spent one half of the winter break there together before spending he went home to Madrid with his family and you went home to yours. He knew it would be wrong of him to interfere with your plans so he left it as it is, not wanting to push his luck. 

He counts his blessing that you let him back in this much so quickly because after the whole Ferrari announcement fiasco, he realized how hard it had gotten for you to trust people. The warm, bubbly side of you slipped away and it had been since before he left McLaren. 

Carlos never forgave himself for that because somehow, in some twisted way, he feels like it’s his fault you lost your innocence. You shut out people and showed them some facade when he knows there’s a different version of you buried all of that; a side of you that only he knows. 

“Maybe I’ll see you in Ibiza,” he smiles and you nod, smiling back at him. 

“Maybe.” 

----- 

Mallorca, 2022. 

It’s the third week into your four week break and you had been in Ibiza for the last two weeks. You had bumped into Max and Charles there but no sign of the Spaniard. 

Daniel had called it quits after the two weeks of partying and day drinking, heading back home to Monaco to rest for the next two weeks. You, on the other hand, were not ready to give up just yet. You found yourself in Spain for some of the Spanish sunshine because nothing beats the feeling. Some of your girlfriends were coming to meet you up there but not for another few days. 

And that’s how you found yourself on a beach in Mallorca all by yourself. You were laying on the lounger, a beer on the table beside you and your book in your hand as you soaked up the warmth the sun was giving you. 

At least you were until something, rather someone, blocks the sun from you. You shut the book and push your sunglasses into your hair and away from your face. You look up and see the tall, slightly tanner ginger standing in front of you. 

“Rup?!” You can't help but laugh because it felt so unreal and random to bump into him here of all places. “Hey you.” he smiles, sitting on the end of your lounger. 

“What're you doing here?” you ask, “I could ask you the same thing.” He answers. 

“Where are the girls?” you look around for his wife and daughter. 

“They’re with Alex’s friends today, they kicked me out to have a girls’ day so I ended up. Last I saw, you were on a jet ski at 4am in Ibiza.” He laughed, “how’d you end up here?” 

“Daniel headed back to Monaco and I was craving some more sunshine and I ended up here. My friends are coming but they won’t be here for another 2 days.” 

“So I take it you have no plans for tonight then?” 

“Unless you count wine and pizza as plans but other than that, no.” 

“Come to dinner; We’re all at Carlos’ place. I’ll text you the address.” He says, getting up. You shook your head, “I couldn’t impose like that.” 

“No imposition, y/n. You’re family too.” He gives you a smile before walking off. A few minutes later, you get a text for him which was the address. 

Too late to back out now. 

--- 

The baby blue linen dress sat on your body perfectly and yet you felt like you were overdressed for this. Nonetheless, you knocked on the door and waited. 

Carlos opened the door, his eyes widen and his head falls to the side when he sees you. “Pep, what are- hi.” He smiles, confusion on his face. “What’re you doing here?” He eyes the baby blue dress you had on. 

“I uh- I bumped into Rupert at the beach and he invited me for dinner. I hope that’s okay.” You say before lifting your arm slightly to show Carlos the two bottles you were cradling. “I wasn’t sure if it was a wine night or a whiskey one, so I brought both.” 

Carlos laughed, stepping aside for you to come in. Rupert was walking to the kitchen when he noticed you. “Y/n! You made it!” he smiles, walking over to meet you. He takes one of the bottles from you and reads the label, he faces Carlos and shows him. “She splurged for the good stuff,” he wiggled the bottle in front of his friend before he led you to the back deck where everyone was. 

“Daniel said it was a good one,” you chuckle at the man’s reaction. Carlos’ smile drops. “Is he.. here too?” Carlos asks and you shake your head. 

“No no, he’s back in Monaco. I called him from the store.” You laughed. 

“Boys! This is y/n, and she brought booze. Say hi!” Rupert sets the bottle down and you follow suit, waving hi to the guys. You knew most of them, Carlos’s cousins and a few of his friends. 

“Hope I’m not crashing the party,” you laugh when Caco calls you over next to him. 

“You’re always welcomed,” he nudged you, handing you a beer. 

Dinner was nice, you hadn’t laughed that hard a long time. Everyone was sitting at the table outside and you were sandwiched between the two Carlos’ as you sipped on your wine. The guys had opened the bottle of whiskey you brought halfway through dinner and are now polishing off the last of it. You watched as Rupert poured the last into a glass, shaking out the last drops and handing it over to Carlos who was sitting to your left. 

“Speech, speech, speech!” The guys drunkenly chanted to their friend. 

Carlos stands, the glass in his hand as he clears his throat. “To family and friends, to spending nights together, to laughing until we cry, to love and life,” he glances at you with a smile on his face, “cheers!” he lifts the glass, the guys booing at the shortness of the toast and he laughed, sipping the whiskey.

The table is covered in empty bottles and plates, everyone drunk and full, on their way to bed. You and Caco bring in the last of the plates before he kisses your temple, telling you goodnight and heading to bed himself. 

Most of the guys had claimed the bedrooms already so you were about to make yourself comfortable on the couch instead of searching for a room when you found Carlos half asleep on the couch. 

“Chilli,” you nudged him, sitting beside him. Your tipsiness starting to wear off. “Carlosssss” you call, shaking him and he finally looks at you. “What what whaaaat?” he sleepily smiles. 

“Go to bed,” you give him a shove and he topples off the couch from the lack of balance. You cover your mouth, trying not to laugh. Carlos sits up and rubs his arm, “are you okay?” you ask, slipping off your sandals. 

“Fine, why are you laying down?” he gets up, looking at you as you make yourself comfortable on the couch. “I’m going to sleep?” You say as if it was obvious. 

“Here? No.” he grabs your hand, pulling you to sit up. “Come to bed with me.” 

“What ?” 

“What- no! I can’t let you sleep on the couch when I have a whole bed to myself.” Carlos is pulling you up the stairs with him to his bedroom. 

You toss yourself on the bed, sinking into the soft covers. “Why didn’t you let me stay here last time?” you glance at the man who was getting on the bed. 

“You’re the one that suggested different rooms, I told you to stay with me.” He reminds you of your words from the Christmas trip to Mallorca. You ignore him and pull the covers over you. 

“I was serious, you know.” He whispers into the silence and you look back over at him. “Serious about?” You ask. 

Carlos turns to face you. “What I said in Austria; I miss you.” 

“I’m here, aren't I?” You whisper, facing him. 

“That's not what I mean, y/n, and you know that.” 

You sigh, running a hand over your face. You had sobered up a bit since dinner and so had he but was anything he said true? Did he really mean it or was it just some twisted way of keeping you close? You were all but 22 when you realized you were in love with your teammate. 

Is that really even love or was it just the fact that you two spent so much time together that it developed into more?

“What do you mean then, Carlos? What do you want me to say?” You sigh once more. 

"Kiss me.” He says. 

You look at the man as if he had grown a second head. “What?”

Carlos doesn’t repeat himself, instead he pulls you in for a kiss. He managed to pull you onto his lap, you don’t fight him on that. One hand cupping his cheek and the other on the back of his neck, fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck.

The way his hands fit against your back or the way you sit perfectly against  him, from the moment his lips touched yours, it was game over. 

Feelings over complicated things. 

No need for that.

Two people can enjoy each other’s company without feelings and strings attached. 

Carlos flips you two over, you caged in under his arms as you look up at him. You smile, his cheek flushed and his hair a mess from you running your hand through it. Surely your pink chapstick has smudged all over and you knew for a half that your dress had been pulled down just enough for him to leave a mark or two across your chest. 

The man leans down to kiss you again, whispering the 3 words you had hoped to hear since you were 22; “I love you.” 

You let out a breath, your eyes meeting his brown ones. “I love you.” You whispered back. 

So much for no feelings. 

---- 

The next morning, the balcony door was cracked open to let some air into the room but Carlos was still fast asleep next to you. The house was quiet and surely the guys were still sleeping too; with the amount of liquor they drank last night, there’s no way anyone was waking up before noon. Surprisingly, you woke up with no headache which was a win. It was a little past 10 when you quietly got out of the bed in hopes of not waking Carlos. You peek into the drawers to find something to change into and you find some before changing and heading downstairs. 

There’s no one downstairs, the guys were as you suspected, still sleeping. You tidying up the kitchen quietly, washing the dishes before starting on breakfast. 

It’s a while before you hear the footsteps on the stairs and you turn to see Carlos coming down, his hair a mess and his eyes puffy from sleep. He sits on the stool by the counter, “cute outfit.” He eyes the blue shorts and salmon colour button up you had on with a smile on his lips. 

“Thanks, hope you don’t mind.” You call, your attention on the bacon on the stove. 

“I figured you borrowed something - saw your dress on the chair.” He yawns, dropping his head onto his arms on the counter. He looked up again, cheek pressed to his arm, “you don’t have to make breakfast you know, we can just go out somewhere.” 

“There’s no cure better for a hangover than some greasy breakfast food; and before you complain, there's still 2 weeks to work it back off so I don’t want to hear it.” You point the spatula at him as he laughed. 

He gets up, turning on the coffee machine to make coffee for the two of you, he’s leaning on the counter behind you as he waits, his eyes fixed on you as you hummed whatever song was on your mind as you cooked. 

He could get used to this; domestic life with you. A quiet morning, the two of you enjoying the silence before the kids join you or in this case, the guys. 

You turn to grab something from the counter behind you and you bump into Carlos. “Hi,” you look up at him, “hi,” he smiles. His hands find your waist, pulling you flush against him. 

“The guys gonna be down soon,” you whisper to him, noticing the glint of wickedness in his big brown eyes.

Carlos shrugs, turning the two of you so you’re against the counter before he hoists you onto it. His fingers find the buttons on your shirt, undoing them as he peppers your face with kisses. 

“Carlos,” you breathe, his lips on your neck. He hums against your skin, “they’ll be down soon.” 

“So?” He asks, moving back to kiss you. 

The moment his lips touch yours, you lose all track of time, his hands roaming your body, chest pressed to yours as your legs wrap around his waist. It wasn’t long after that you two were interrupted by the smoke alarm starting to blare, the bacon on the stove had started to burn and neither of you noticed until then. At that point, neither of you had a choice but to pull away and go fix the situation. 

Carlos took down the alarm, shutting it off while you moved the bacon off the stove and turned it off before opening the doors and windows to let the smoke out. 

You two were looking at each other, laughing. The footsteps start to fill the once quiet hour and Carlos stands in front of you, his back to the staircase as he quickly buttons up the shirt he just undid before the guys come down. 

“What happened?” Rupert asks, rubbing his eyes. 

“Bacon burnt, accidentally set the stove too high.” you hum, going to the fridge to get more as Carlos made himself some coffee. 

The boys pitched in to finish cooking breakfast, all of you scattered across the couches and floor as you ate your greasy food and drank coffee. The promise of no more mixing liquor was spoken just as they begun making plans to go to the club later that night. After that, everyone tidying up the rest of the mess, restoring some order to the house before heading off one by one to shower or go for a run, the guys busying themselves as you sat outside, soaking up the warmth under the Spanish sun. 

Someone hands a glass to you, you take it and look over to see Carlos sitting beside you. “Mom’s lemonade,” he tells you as you eye the yellow liquid in the glass. “She made some for us to bring.” he lays back, his arms tucked behind his head. 

You nod, taking a sip before setting the glass down. 

“I meant it.” He says to you. 

“Meant what ?” You know exactly what he meant. 

“I love you, y/n. I always have.” Carlos looks at you. “I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, from the first time you walked into the room, from when you won your first race, to the time you spent bothering me; you’re the love of my life.” 

“Seems a bit dramatic.” you teased him, making him roll his eyes. “Remember what you asked me in Austria?”  

“Which part are you asking about specifically?” 

“When you asked if we could have been something else,” he sits up, facing you. You nod, looking at him. “You told me if we had met some other way then maybe we could have been more, in some other lifetime.” He reminds you. 

“What about it?” You ask. 

“Why wait? Not this one?” 

“What are you really asking me, Carlos ?” 

“What are we waiting for, y/n? We love each other and we both know that life is so short; we put ourselves at risk with our jobs everyday. I’m not giving that up and I’m not asking you too but why can’t we try?” He reaches for your hand, and you glance down at them before looking back at him. 

“You’re serious ? Because I can’t go through this again - us not speaking, us being at odds. I can’t if this won’t work.” You admit to him. 

Carlos nods, “I know. So we’ll try. Us against the world, remember ?” he reminds you of what you used to tell him before team meetings. 

You smile, nodding. “Yeah.” 

----- 

Three Years Later @ Barcelona. 

After that night in Mallorca with Carlos, things started to fall into place. 

McLaren sat in a solid 4th place that year in the Constructors’. The following year, you brought home the Drivers’ and Constructors’ Championships for the team alongside Daniel. You said goodbye to your beloved papaya team and made the move down the pit line to Mercedes. Your first year there, you won your second Drivers’ championship, adding another win to Mercedes’ impressive history. 

You’re now in your second year with Mercedes, with George as your teammate. You’ve got two championships under your belt, you're also one of the top 3 contenders for this year’s championship alongside Charles and Max. 

You couldn’t be more than happy with your life. 

It's the Spanish Grand Prix, summer break is two races away and there has been talk of a wedding amongst the drivers. The reporters and fans have been swarming like sharks to find out who’s getting married.

Bets are on George and Carmen or even Alex and Lily but no one even so much looked in your direction or Carlos’.

It's known that you and Carlos are both in relationships, very private and your significant other is never at the paddock but yet you two post photos displaying some mystery person in very romantic contexts. You’ve also been spotted with a ring looped onto your chain with your driver’s number on it. No one can confirm whether it’s real or not because it’s all been word of mouth and there’s no actual proof. 

The reporters are swarming once again in the press conference, asking what everyone is up to for the break. It's Carlos, you, Mick, Alex, Daniel and Pierre in the afternoon press conference. They had tried their luck in the morning conference with the other drivers, asking if they’d be heading to this mystery wedding only to get a yes and a sly smile. 

The man asks the question; “what’s everyone up too for the break?” Starting with Daniel. 

Daniel shrugs, “headed home for my nephew’s birthday after the wedding.” 

Pierre and Mick had the same answers, “the wedding and then travelling.” 

Alex of course, had to tease the reporters. “Well you know, Lily and I have big plans for this break, we're getting.. another dog!” He laughed at their groans and reactions. “Of course we're headed to the wedding too.” 

You glance at Carlos who smiles at you and gives you a slight nod before the reporter turns to you. “So, y/n. Will you be at this mystery wedding as well?” He asks and you laugh. 

Your leg was crossed over the other, blocking your left hand that sat on your lap. The diamond ring sat snugly on your left ring finger. “I would think so,” you smile and the reporter asks another question, “invite get lost in the mail?” he jokes, earning some chuckles. 

“I’d hope not since it’s my wedding.” You laughed, the room went silent for a moment trying to gauge if you’re serious or not. Carlos reaches over to your lap, holding your left hand to show off the big rock. He kisses the back of your hand and sets it on his lap. 

The drivers erupt cheers, the reporters instantly put two and two together. You and Carlos’ secret relationships had been with each other and you’re getting married now. 

You smile at your fiancé, your hand squeezing his. “Te amo,” you whisper to him and he hums, kissing your hand once again. 

----- 

Part One: In This Lifetime Or Another // Part Three: ‘Till Death Do Us Part

qué sucedió? estás bien? - what happened? Are you okay? // no me siento muy bien, claramente - I'm not feeling very well, clearly

tagging: @timetoracewrites​ @diorleclerc​ @lickmeleclerc​ @halsteadssneakylink​ @dragon-of-winterfell​ @benedictscanvas​ @elisaa-shelby​ @hnmaga-blog​ @czechoslovakiandisco​ @dr3lover​ 

tags for those who showed part 1 so much love <333: @hayleyy-l​ @getawayferrari​ @panicforspec​ @eve-eh​ @oneafterdark​ @jpotterdilf​ @zefireqq​ @ihearttheoriginals​ @yeolsbubbles​ @alicekepley​ @guccicloudz​ @lewispool @hoodjamz​ @compulsiveshit​ @potterndiggory​ @j-onathan-carnahan​ @loverboysainz​ @enjoymyloves​ 

[blogevaawrites]

BIG DEAL

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: smut, cheating, angst

Summary: After being away of you boyfriend for three weeks, you come to Chris’s  house after he had thrown a party where you met a girl you haven’t see ever. The beginning of the relationship was unconventional so you couldn’t do anything else but suspect.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Epilogue

“It’s not fair” the voice from de other side of the phone was deep, he was slurring his words. I did recognize it, it was hard to forget it, but it was quite odd hearing him like that, so drunk that he couldn’t speak.

“Chris? It’s 3:00 am. I was sleeping.” I said sitting on the bed better.

“Oh yeah? How does that feel? You know what? I was doing it fine. I let you go; I was getting you out of my head. Why it's so fucking easy for you to get into it?” he sounded sad and mad at the same time.

“Chris, I’m sorry if what I told you hurt your feelings, it was mean, I know. I'm really sorry. Your personal life is not my business anymore.” He didn’t let me finish. He wasn’t interested in my apologies.

“I wanted everything of that with you. I wanted a wedding, I wanted to find a fucking house together, a big fucking house to have a big fucking family. I made up my mind to have kids, adopt two and maybe have one, because that was your dream family. And fuck! I wanted it so much, I wanted to be part of that fucking dream so much. I don't want it if you aren't in the equation. Why it's so hard to believe for you? Why don't you want everything of that just with me? It's not fucking fair, why are you still in my head? How can you be so collected?” his words brought me back to the time I told him my dream.

He was staying in my apartment after being away for a couple weeks, he couldn’t sleep because of the jetlag and I wasn’t tired either, he was happy for my sleeplessness, he hated being alone in somebody’s else house. We went to get a few donuts, one of the perks of living in NY was, no matter what time is it, you can always find some food.

I remembered we walked the entire night, just talking, enjoying each other’s company.

He told me about his family, about his relationships with his parents, with his siblings and he explained to the adoption’s process of his sister. I told him about my workmate who thought that adopting a child and having a baby was not the same, that he wouldn’t take care of a someone’s child. He was so absorbed in his donut that he responded without looking at me.

“Sorry, if he’s your friend, but he’s an idiot. Being a parent is about loving, taking care of and protecting a child, not a biological relation.” I saw him in a different way, in that moment I realized I loved him. He continued in his unawareness and asked me about my family, and my dream family.

I told him about what kind a family I wanted. I wanted to have a big one, a big house, a couple animals and a house in the woods. He laughed “I would never have said you were like that.”

“What? Why?” I tried to look offended, but it wasn’t the first time I got that. “I don’t know, you love living here, your tiny apartment and your demanding job.” he was right, I loved that, but I had always lived by my own, I was used to it. “My apartment it’s not tiny.”

“Honey, you don’t have a dog because of it.” He spoke. “It’s a standard-sized apartment in NY” I defended “That is just another statement in my favor” he laughed.

“Are you okay?” I asked coming back to the reality.

“I thought I was until I saw you. How can you be so happy? Why can you live without me when I’m not able…” he blurted out all his inside feelings, I knew him, I knew he wouldn’t tell me those things if he was sober or calm. He is so impulsive. I knew he was going to regret it later. “Chris…” I interrupted him but he didn’t stop. “Fuck, I miss you and I don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry” I said calmly. He didn’t respond. The line was alive, but he was in completely silence.  “Chris?” and I didn’t hear nothing else.

I put my phone back on my nightstand while the conversation came to my mind. I don’t usually come to L.A, but I was Linda’s birthday, and we came to celebrate it. The club was new and kind of exclusive, I shouldn’t have been so surprised of finding him there.

He was chatting with a girl; I couldn’t see her face, but I could see him. He was so close to her, caressing his arm and touching her face. I wasn’t sure if I was on his vison, but it hurt me a bit he didn’t notice me.

The night went fine, I tried to forget about him and enjoyed the rest of the night. At some point, I went out to smoke a cigarette, I wasn’t a smoker but sometimes it feels good.

“Can I have one?” he said, I recognized his voice, I could feel his presence. I turned around to face him. I handed him one cigarette, trying to look calm. “Thank you.” He said with a smile. We stared for a few minutes until he spoke. “You look gorgeous. Your hair in that way, it has always been my favorite.” I give him a little smile as a thank you. “You look...taken.” I said, I shouldn’t have, he was free to do what he wanted. I had to admit that it bothered me, I got jealous. He didn’t look bother, anyway. He shook his head with a shy smile. “Well, you’re wrong. I’m completely single.”

“Is she aware of that? It doesn’t work if one of both doesn’t know it.” I said, he didn’t look hurt or annoyed by my words. He looked cheerful. “Ouch! Low blow. She is, don’t worry.” He said, looking at me right into my eyes. He is so flirty with a few drinks. “We are just friends. I’m not very good at relationships.” He spoke.

“I wouldn’t say that you’re not very good at it, you just miss the monogamy part. I thought you were ready to settle down. I guess they’re right, talk is cheap.” I threw out my wasted cigarette and was ready to say goodbye, but his face changed. He looked mad then, he didn’t say anything, but I noticed his mood wasn’t the same. I went too far. He got inside the club before me, without a word.

In the morning, I checked my phone. He didn’t call me again, but he did send me text.

       “Sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have call you I was drunk and being an asshole. I`m so sorry. I won’t bother you again. Take care of yourself!”

After the day he left, we didn’t talk for three months. We didn’t have a tough conversation since then. He sent me flowers with a simple note for my birthday but nothing else.

“Hey girl! Why are you up so early?” Linda spoke, entering the room. “It’s 1 p.m.” I said joking. “Whatever! It’s my birth-weekend, if I said it’s early it is” she said with a big smile. “Why are you awake? We needed this, enjoy it and go back to bed.” she asked again.”

“I saw Chris last night” I said simply. “Where? At the club? I didn’t see him. Are you okay?” she got worry.

“Yes, at the club. And yes, I’m okay. We talked and I was being mean and kind of a bitch. He got mad and called me later. It was weird.” I responded.

“Why were you being mean? Did he tell you something?”

“He was with somebody. I don’t know, I got jealous.” It was hard for me to admit that I wasn’t like that I was completely against that but couldn’t help it.

“It’s normal, you were deeply in love with him.” He said before kissing me head.

We walked around the city and get lunch at a very nice and modern place. I didn’t think about him for the rest of the day.

“I know he lied and cheated but he is so fucking good looking.” Lucy commented suddenly. All of us got confuse until I turned around to see what she was staring at. A big billboard promoting his new film. Indeed, he was hot but in the picture he was breathtaking.

“Isn’t a shit that he is everywhere? I mean he is your ex.” Vanessa asked eating his meal.

“Yes. I guess.” I said simply. The topic of the conversation didn’t last long.

I didn’t realize he was everywhere until she mentioned it. The rest of the day he was in everything, Instagram, TV, even in the street.

I couldn’t take him out of my head.

“You are on every-fucking-where. Your face is all over this place.” I laughed, entering his house, he was filming something in L.A and I got a few days off to be with him. He was the face of a new fragrance so pictures of him were everywhere. For the first time in our relationship, I realized how famous he was. L.A was the place where I was with an actor and the rest of the world I was just with a guy. We were getting home from a night out. We were kind of drunk, not too much but in a very happy mood. “Oh! Shut up!” he said laughing. “Oh! Sorry sir, I don’t want to bother a such an important person. I will be a good girl.” I mocked, before I could do anything else, he took my face to his. “Will you?” he asked seductively, he kissed me deeply, holding my face firmly. His touches were always like that, comforting, protective and loving. I nodded smiling, unable to say anything with his mouth on mine. “Even L.A is a nice place when you are here.” He muttered against my cheek. His hands flew to my thighs to pick me up and take me to his room. Slowly, he took off my dress and helped me to get out of shoes. Just in my underwear, he smiled at me, and rubbed his gingers through my collarbones, the middle of my breast, my stomach and played with the band of my panties. “Haven’t you come out of my dreams?” he said. I moved my arms up to cover myself, laughing at his comment. “Alcohol makes you sappy.” I spoke. He took my hands to bring me closer to him “It makes me honest.” He kissed me and continued “Not even alcohol makes you speak. You’re such a cold heart chick, aren’t you?” he joked, I knew he was playing because he was smiling and kissing me but that wasn’t the first time, he insinuated something like that. “Chris…”

“I’m just joking, relax.” I let it go because I knew he was kind of right, I’m not a very affective person, or someone who loves to talk about love, but I was working on it.

At night we went to another club, it was a chill night, so we didn’t drink, we just talked and ate. When we wanted to go back to our rented house, we took a taxi but in the middle of ride I realized I left my jacket at the wardrobe’s club.

“Don’t worry! Get inside! I will be back in a couple minutes.” I said while the girls got out of the taxi.

I went back to the club, looking for my jacket. I asked the girl in charge of the wardrobe for it, she looked at me for a little bit too long. She handed my jacket and asked. “Sorry for question, but your face looks so familiar to me. Weren’t you Chris Evans’s girlfriend?” I got uncomfortable and she noticed. “I don’t want to bother you, it just I remember your face from where I used to work in. I worked in a restaurant in NY for a long time, and you and Chris used to go there, quite a lot.” She explained, I remembered her then, it was one of our favorite restaurants, and she was one of the waitresses. “Oh, yeah I remember you, Hi.” I spoke.

“We weren’t allowed to talk to our costumers there, I just wanted to tell you that you both make such a good couple, me and the other girls were in love with you guys.” She made me smile. We said goodbye and I left the place with him in my head.

“Okay, I’m ready. We can go.” I said to my driver, he was nice enough to wait for me to get my jacket. “Back to the house, right?” he asked turning on the engine. “No, can you take me here?” I asked, showing him the address on my phone.

I didn’t want to think about it twice. I wanted to see him.

As soon as we were near to his house, I realized I didn’t know where he was, he doesn’t come to LA until he has to. He was here yesterday but that was all I knew.

I got out of the taxi. “Do you want me to wait, or should I go?” the driver asked. For a few minutes I didn’t know what to do, and I saw the driver’s face was sightly impatient. “You can go, thank you.” I answered quickly, I wanted to see his face.

I rang the bell; I held my breath and I hoped he was there.

I waited for what I thought it was an eternity, but it was just two minutes.

I hear his voice on the intercom, and I blocked. “Who is it?” I couldn’t talk. I forgot how to speak. He waited not long before turning on the camera. I saw the red light and I knew he could see me. I didn’t say anything, and the sound of the door opening brought me back.

I walked to the house, and I just could see his silhouette because of the darkness.

“Are you trying to get even?” he joked, “Sorry to tell you, but you’re not as much intimidating as I can be, you can’t scare me”.

I didn’t respond, I kept walking in silence until I was at his door. Face to him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly worry about my state. I guess my expression was concerning.

“I’m sorry.” I just could say.

“Don’t worry, you can come whenever you want.” He spoke.

“I don’t mean that. I’m sorry…” I wanted to explain but he interrupted me.

“Hey! If this is about the call, don’t worry. I was being irrational, please! Just ignore it.” He looked shy.

“Can we talk?” I asked, I was feeling uncomfortable being outside. Before he could speak a woman’s laugh sound from inside the house, I realized he wasn’t alone. I blocked again. Him not being at home was an option, but I didn’t imagine that he could be with someone else.

“Oh! Shit! I should have called. I’m sorry,” I said, and I started to walk away. He looked confused for a few seconds before getting my arm. “Holy crap! No! Stop! It is not what you think! It’s Tara and Scott” he yelled.

I turned around and he continued “I had a few meetings here and they are spending the weekend here.” I felt the embarrassment going over my body. “We can go inside but they will be around. We can walk around the neighborhood, believe me it’ll be more private.” He suggested. I doubted for a second, but I nodded, he was right we’ll have more privacy.

“Okay! Wait a minute! I need my shoes.” He said before going back inside the house.

I started to regret, I wasn’t sure why I was there, what I wanted or anything. Before I could make any decision, he was back. He closed the door and started to walk by my side.  

We walked for a few minutes, in completely silence. Our appearance was kind of odd, he was wearing sweatpants, an unmatched hoodie, and a pair of sneakers. In another hand, I was wearing a midi black dress, my shoulders were free and my feet in super high heels.

“Aren’t you cold? It’s kind of chill, isn’t?” he asked, breaking the silence, and starting to unzip his hoodie.

“No, I’m fine.” I knew he was trying to start a conversation, but I just didn’t know what to do.

“Great.” he said awkwardly. The silence came back. We just walked around the houses, there wasn’t many, but they were big enough to get us tired.

“So, how have you been? I heard about your promotion, I know you were trying to get it.” he asked, he knows if I was nervous, he had to keep up with the conversation.

“I’ve been fine, and yeah I got so excited for the promotion. Linda threw a party.” I told him. “I know, I saw a few pictures on Instagram.” He said quickly. Letting me know he had been stalking me. I looked at him in the eyes and he got what I was thinking about. He wrinkled his eyebrow trying to think how get out of judgment. “Okay! I could say you were suggested by the logarithm but, whatever, I was just curious. I have the normal curiosity of an ex-boyfriend, of a non psycho ex-boyfriend.” He explained shyly. He made me laugh and that made him smile. I felt more relaxed then.

“I’m sorry for being so mean at the party.” I spoke. His smile vanished and he started to shake his head slowly. “it wasn’t my business…”

“Hey! No! it’s fine, I was being too sensitive. I know you were joking. Don’t think about it. My call was completely out of place.” He spoke.

“I wasn’t joking, I was having an attack of jealousy.” I told him the truth. I had had a few with being his girlfriend but I didn’t admit it so I was a big statement for me.  

“Well, you shouldn’t have…” I knew he was being nice enough not to make me feel even more humiliated. I interrupted him.

“I know, I know you’re free to…” I tried to explain but he spoke over me.

“You shouldn’t have because she is just a friend” he saw in my face a smirk that got him know what I was thinking about he used to have a lot of just-a-friend‘s friends. “A normal, regular, simple friend. We have been friends for years. Actually, I think you know her, she was Jessica, do you remember her?” I nodded, we used to go out with her when we were in L.A but we didn’t come very often. He didn’t like it and I was more than happy to be in N.Y.

“Great, can we pretend I didn’t say I was jealous? I feel ridiculous now.” I joked, he smiled at me and guided me to sit in a bench. “Now we’re even, you have my mortifying call, and I got your brutal honesty.” It was weird how I felt around him, after all that time, he could make me feel butterflies. I was still in love with him.

“I was being completely serious when I told you I was ready to settle down with you. You don’t understand how fucking different everything was with you, and when I realized how important you were to me, it was too late. I know I don’t have any right to be upset because I was the one who fucked everything up, but these past months I have been irrationally mad at you. I felt that you were taking my future with you away from me” he said laughing at himself. I was surprised by his words.

“I know, it’s a shitty though.” He continued when he saw my unbelieving face. “but these couple months have been awful, I haven’t felt like this before. I went to therapy and I realized that I’ve been sabotaging my relationships for a very long time. I didn’t think of it as a problem but then, I lost you and our relationship, and everything changed.” I kept quiet, astonished by his words.

“Chris…”

“No! Please, let me tell you something first. I’m sorry, for everything; for making you go through all of that, for not loving you how you deserve to be loved. I’m going to regret what I did for the rest of my life. I just want you to know that I truly loved you. Fuck! I’m still in love with you, I guess this kind of love doesn’t go away so easily.” He said, making my eyes get wet.

“Why didn’t tell me anything of this before?” It was everything I could say.

“Because you were right; what we had, wasn’t going in the right direction. You deserved better. And to be honest I was afraid to see you again, I wanted to leave you alone as you told me and even now, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do that.” His speech left mute. I didn’t know why I came and now I wasn’t feeling any better.

I got up, and without a word I started to walk back to his house; I could feel his anxiety for my silence, but he didn’t say anything.

“It wasn’t all bad, was it?” I said in a try to cool off the situation.

“You were the best part of my life, honey. Of course, it wasn’t all bad!” he said uncomplainingly. That took every word off of my mouth.

After a big deep breathe I said, “I’m sorry for being so cold in our relationship.” He tried to stop me, but I didn’t let him. “I’m not very good at showing love, I know it hurt you in order of how you are, but I really tried to make it better.” I knew he hate that about me, not just avoiding the word -I love you- but I used to avoid expressing every feeling. I was a very lonely person so I didn’t know how to do it.

“I love every aspect of you, honey. You shouldn’t feel sorry for anything” he said. I knew he was right but I couldn’t help it.  

“I should leave, it’s getting too late. I’m sorry for bothering you.” I said, he looked confused, but he didn’t say anything. We walked back to his house silently.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked when we were getting close to his entry’s house. I nodded “Why you came? It’s not like I don’t love to see you or know about you, but it was unexpected. And I don’t believe you came to say sorry.” He commented.

I didn’t answer right away. I didn’t have a reason to come.

“I honestly don’t know.” I said after a couple minutes. ”I saw a billboard announcing your new film. I remembered you. I started to think about you, about us. I just felt the need to see you.” I explained. He nodded and opened the door. “Give me a second, I will give you a ride,” before I could say no, he was inside the house.

I waited for him, getting close to his car and I remembered the first time he brought me to this house, I just moved to NY at that time, and we weren’t anything more that friends. He was being so talkative during our way to this house, which it wasn’t odd, but something told me he was overexcited.  We spent literally every minute of the week together, he was a fun guy to be around, and the sex was explosive. The last night, he set up a romantic dinner in the garden and showed me what he was so excited about.

“What’s this?” I asked surprised, holding the little box he handed me.

“It’s a gift.” He said simply, smiling at me. “Come on! Open it.”

It was a pendant, the one we saw in London, when I was visiting him while he was filming. After our first date in the airport, we kept in touch by texting, when he had to fly back to London for work, he asked me to visit him. We went for a walk one day and we passed by an antique jewelry store. I realized it was similar to one pendant my mom used to wear, I didn’t know he was paying me attention.

“It’s beautiful!” I just could say.

“It is! Just like you.” I wasn’t sure what was the meaning of the gift, that weekend in London was months ago. He saw my expression and kept talking. “I knew this was going to make you happy. I want to make you happy. Just you.” He was asking for exclusivity, and I wanted the same thing. I couldn’t say anything because he spoke” You don’t need to say anything right now…” I kissed him deeply before he could continue. I straddled him “Should I assume you want the same thing?” he said between kisses. I nodded smiling while he moved us to the seat next to the outdoor fireplace. He rolled my skirt up in my waist, leaving my butt free just covered it by his hands. He felt my uncomfortableness and said, “Don’t worry, nobody can see us.”  I looked at him questioningly by his conviction. “I promised. Trust me.” he said kissing my neck. ”Do you trust me?” he asked again. I did, I trusted him, I’ve sent him nudes, told him my deepest secrets or my filthiest thoughts. “I do” I simply said.

Trusting him became our biggest issue, maybe our only one, but it was enough to break us.

I missed him.

In the car, he asked me where I was staying, and he drove us through L.A’s midnight.

“Are you seeing somebody?” he asked suddenly after I quite long conversation about my promotion and his new project. “You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry if it’s too nosy.”

“No.” I answered, and a little smile appeared on his face. “Are you happy about my loneliness?” I joked, he chuckled.

When arrived, I said goodbye and got out of the car. I didn’t hear him getting out too.

“Hey” he called. Holding me from my arm. “Is it too bold to ask you out?” he saw my surprising face and kept on “Maybe when you are back in NY, I could go and have a date.” He spoke rapidly.

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” I wasn’t sure about what to say, I wanted to yell yes, but leaving him was the most painful thing I’ve done. I couldn’t handle it again.

“I don’t know. To be honest I just really need you in my life again. I feel completely empty without you.” He spoke. “You don’t have to answer right now. Just think about it. Okay?” He said, I nodded, and he started to walk back to his car. Before he could leave me again, the words just came out of my mouth without any warning. “Yes”

He turned over to see me again “Are you sure?” he looked surprised. “Yes”

“I can wait.” He said with a big smile in his face. “I don’t think I can.”

TAG LIST: @breezykpop @calwitch @firoozehmoon @moonlacebeam @denisemarieangelina

[loupettes]

It's been established that after regeneration, it takes a while for everything to settle down in a Time Lord's body. So... what if the same is true when it comes to an instantaneous biological metacrisis?

Imagine it, Tentoo groggily wanders into the loo after several hours of sleep. He catches a glance of himself in the mirror and he has to do a double take. While he was sleeping, the bit of Donna's DNA fully established within him - and in his hair follicles.

His sort of brown hair is now brilliantly ginger.

@juniesjewels Ummmmmm can somebody tell me why it’s taken me so long to piece this together????

NO BUT IMAGINE IF HE DIDNT PUT THIS TOGETHER EITHER. Mia starts growing and her hair’s ginger and… wait— did Rose have an affair?! He confronts her about it and he’s SO NERVOUS and she’s like “are you fucking kidding me??? You’re so DONNA” and then in comes this montage of everything Tentoo does that’s Donna and it’s essentially just… everything tentoo does and he has a lightbulb moment where he’s like “omg am I Donna???” And rose AND mia look back at him like “yes dad you’re Donna”

ALSO… yes, I do think it takes him a while to settle! It’s the next fic I’m about to post and it involves his… jetlag. He must be so disoriented at first, especially with being a bit of both, his huge time lord brain buzzing but human brain wanting sleep 😂 poor baby

[drbabygirl]

"Okay. But, if that doesn't work —" In reference to the ginger ale method.

Though, Kevin for once didn't press on it. He would have but, jetlag and carlag was starting to sink their teeth into him. It was a good minute since he traveled like that so, it was an old yet now welcomed feeling.

"Would you like some soup for dinner, just to be safe? Noodle or no noodle?"

Rushing into the bathroom of her penthouse, Emma throws up. It's been roughly a week since she's gotten back from her month long honeymoon with her husband. She had a light lunch with her great uncle and aunt in their home in New Jersey. So she doesn't know if it's the food or something else that is making her sick right now. (To kilgrave)

Kevin was surprised - albeit not as surprised considering what they were up to - that she was getting sick. Especially at noon. But this was a guess, an unspoken guess. Could just be bad food. That happens. Still, he was starting to get worried. He followed slowly, leaning against the doorframe when he saw her.

"Should I call for a doctor? Medical, that is." His unspoken guess was more and more likely. Its not like he forgotten Melanie when Kara was - there had to be a better word than 'morphing in the womb'? forming? building? growing? - being made past the cellular stage. A peanut. But that was by force, way back when. Before — well, the past was the past. Now, it was a new leaf.

"Could be a stomach virus or –" A baby. Who was he kidding? He practically couldn't keep his hands off her let alone his mouth... and other parts. Still couldn't. Had to keep his hands in his pockets by force alone up in New Jersey.

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[dontcare77ghj]

Leisure Sickness

Natasha x reader x Tony x Steve

Leisure sickness is defined as a psychological condition in which people, read workaholics, can become ill when given time off.

Leisure sickness's symptoms can include headaches, nausea, insomnia, and vomiting.

These symptoms quickly became synonymous with Steve, Natasha, Y/N, and Tony whenever they went on vacation.

The four of you had decided that you'd had enough with the media and the general public for this season. It seemed as if everyone had an opinion on the team, and you were all sick of it.

So Steve had pitched the idea of the four of you going on vacation for a couple of weeks. 

It had been a lot of back and forth before the four of you came to a decision that you were all happy with. 

The four of you would take three weeks off from the world unless it was about to end and stay at a house on Tony's private island.

"This place is massive. I'm pretty sure I've been lost for the last hour." You said, entering the kitchen where Natasha and Steve were putting groceries away. 

"You've been gone ten minutes, doll." Steve chuckled, stocking the fridge full of drinks.

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure it's been an hour." You commented, taking a seat on the counter. "Are we sure time doesn't work differently here?"

"How much coffee have you had?" Natasha asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

"I had two cups on the plane." You told her honestly. 

"You mean the cups that were basically soup bowls?" Steve clarified.

"I drank whatever was served to me." You shrugged. 

"We're going to talk about that later," Natasha said, pointing a finger at you. "But first, can you find Tony? We haven't seen him since we got here."

"Sure. I've explored a lot of this place. I should be able to find him." You shrugged, jumping off the counter.

"Alright, we'll see you in an hour," Steve said, receiving the middle finger from you. 

To be fair, Steve might have been pretty spot on. To explore just the ground floor took you about twenty minutes, and there were still two floors, both with dozens of rooms each, to search. 

"What's behind door number nineteen?" You mumbled, pulling open your nineteenth door, you'd been counting, to reveal another bathroom. 

Except this one held your Tony. A Tony who wasn't looking so good.

"Tones?" You asked quietly, moving to kneel beside the empty bathtub Tony was occupying. "What's wrong, hon?" 

"Just a bit of a headache," Tony mumbled. 

"And you're in the bathtub because?"

"It's nice and cool," Tony told you, keeping his eyes closed.

"Okay, how about you stay here, and I'll get you something for your head?" You suggested, gently brushing hair off his forehead.

"Thank you," Tony mumbled, leaning his head back once more.

"Couldn't you find him?" Steve asked when you reentered the kitchen.

"No, I found him." You told him, beginning to look through the cupboards. "Hauled up in a bathtub with a raging headache. Did we pack any Tylenol?"

"Here," Natasha said, throwing it to you. "I thought he looked a little pale on the plane." She commented.

"He was fine before we got on the plane, though," Steve mentioned. "You think it's an extreme form of jetlag?"

"Could be. It could also be the fact that Tony's not looked after himself at all the past week." You said. "He's been working himself to the bone. His body probably doesn't understand what's going on."

"So we should expect him to feel worse." Natasha deduced. "I'll make something to settle his stomach." She nodded to herself.

"And I'll deliver this." You said, shaking the pills. 

"I'll come with you. I imagine the bathtub's not that comfortable, and Tony might not want to walk to the bedroom." Steve said, moving to follow you. 

"Has death finally come for me?" Tony asked when the two of you made your way back to him.

"Not yet, Tones." You told him, kneeling in the same place as before.

"And not for a long time," Steve added, bending beside you.

"Ugh, I really thought it was him that time." Tony sighed before cracking his eyes open. "Did you bring the good stuff?"

"I did." You nodded, dosing out two of the tablets and handing them to him. "Give me a second, and I'll get you some water." You said, rising to stand, but Tony took the two dry. "That's disgusting."

"Water's for bitches." Tony grunted before closing his eyes again. 

"Come on, Tony, let's get you to bed," Steve said to him. 

"Too much work." Tony denied before Steve picked him up. "Woah! Give a man a little warning." Tony grumbled as Steve chuckled quietly. 

"Asking's for bitches." You teased, walking in front of the two and opening doors.

"Get some rest, Tony," Steve said, putting onto the bed and pulling the covers over him.

"I'll shut my eyes for a few minutes, and I'll be fine," Tony mumbled, rolling over onto his side.

It didn't even take Tony another minute before he was fast asleep.

The next time the four of you decided to go on vacation, you'd decided to go a bit more touristy. 

The four of you were in London for two weeks and would be spending your days visiting every popular tourist attraction. It was your second day in London, the first dedicated to sleeping off the jetlag, and you would soon be leaving the house.

At least you would be if you could settle your stomach.

Your stomach had been churning all night, and no matter what, you couldn't stop it. You'd managed to crawl into the bathroom and not wake anyone, but now you were stuck on the floor.

"Sweetheart? Y/N?" You could hear your name being called. "Y/N, where are you?" 

The bathroom door opened, but you couldn't lift your head from its position.

"Found her," Natasha called before walking over to you. "You look like shit, med," Natasha said, placing a hand on your back.

"Nice, real nice." You groaned, lifting your head slightly. "Just give me a minute to get up and get dressed, and we can get going." 

"The only place you're going is back to bed," Natasha told you as Steve and Tony entered the bathroom.

"Doll, are you okay?" Steve questioned you.

"I'm fine. I just need help getting up. And maybe getting dressed." You told him.

"Y/N, you are sick," Natasha said firmly.

"Nu-uh, I haven't thrown up yet." You denied.

"You don't look too far off from it, babe," Tony informed you. "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know. It was still dark when I came in." You grunted before dry heaving, but nothing would come up.

"Okay, Steve, would you please get some ginger ale?" Natasha asked, pulling your hair off your face. "Y/N, when was the last time you ate?"

"Not sure."

"Okay, add some saltines to that order too, Steve," Natasha told him.

"Do you honestly not remember the last time you ate?" Tony asked, coming to sit next to Natasha.

"I was working on that paperwork for Nick until the minute we left." You mumbled. "Forgot to eat."

"And that's most likely why you're feeling like crap now." Natasha hummed. "Do you think you'll be okay if we get you back to bed?"

"Just leave me here to perish." You groaned.

"No can do, you're stuck with us," Tony said as he helped Natasha pull you to your feet.

"Sorry I ruined vacation." You whimpered as you were laid in bed.

"You didn't ruin anything, med," Natasha promised, brushing hair from your forehead. "Not at all."

"We still have time before we have to go home." Tony soothed your guilty conscience. "There's plenty of time to do all the touristy bullshit your little heart desires."

"Yay." You moaned, curling into a ball.

It was a long time before the four of you were able to go on another vacation. 

Missions had begun to become back to back and would last weeks, Tony was forced to travel for SI, and Fury seemed to have an unhealthy attachment to long meetings.

It was after Natasha had been on a mission for two months, Tony had been in Japan for one month, and you and Steve had endured countless hours in the hands of Fury that Steve declared you all needed a vacation. 

Steve had literally googled relaxing vacations before deciding upon Brittany, France. 

Though Steve had argued with Fury, for what felt like days, Steve was only able to barter a week off for the four of you.

"Tony, why do you have more bags than me?" You asked as Steve attempted to play Tetris with your luggage.

"I like to have options, dear," Tony said, pulling his sunglasses on. "Never know when one of those parasites are going to spot me."

"Don't call reporters parasites." Steve chided.

"Are we ready to go yet?" Natasha asked, pulling on a jacket despite it being a warm day. "The plane is going to leave soon."

"Just one more bag, and we can get going," Steve told her, picking up a small suitcase.

"Can I once again point out how ridiculous that is? I own the plane. It should wait for me." Tony scoffed, climbing into the car with Natasha right behind him. 

The four of you faced no more problems until halfway through the flight. Natasha had jumped from her seat, startling the three of you from your half-asleep states, and bolted into the plane's bathroom. 

It was seconds before the sounds of retching filled the plane. 

"Tash?" Steve asked as the three of you stood up.

"I'm good." Natasha choked out. "Get away from the door, Steven."

"How'd she know it was only me?" Steve grumbled, walking back over to you and Tony.

"Spy, Steven!"

Natasha stayed in the bathroom for another seven minutes exactly. When she exited, her skin was flushed, she was covered in a thick layer of sweat, and she was shivering violently. 

"FRI give me Nat's temperature," Tony demanded as you rushed to pull Natasha to a chair.

"101.3, boss," FRIDAY informed you all.

"Shit, Nat," Steve swore. "How long have you been running a fever?"

"Not running a fever." Natasha denied, lounging back in the chair and pulling her jacket closer.

"101.3 is a fever, Tash." You said, pulling her jacket off. "We might have to get you to a hospital." 

"How long until we land, FRI?" 

"Three hours, boss." 

"We're going to have to bring her temperature down ourselves," Steve said, grabbing a towel and dumping his iced water on it.

By the time the plane landed, the three of you had successfully managed to bring Natasha's temperature down. 

The four of you emerged from the plane, Natasha cradled in Steve's arms.

"That was probably the most stressful start to a vacation," Tony commented as you all entered a waiting car. "Let's get you to a hospital, hey, Nat?"

The four of you stayed away from vacations for a long time after that incident. Not because you were all slightly traumatized but because life seemed to pick up its pace once more.

It had been a year and a half since Natasha had a raging fever, and now the four of you were on yet another getaway. 

Except for this time, it was for new reasons.

The four of you had had a commitment ceremony just two days ago, the Asgardian equivalent of a polyamorous wedding. 

It had been a long time coming and a lot of planning, but it was worth it. And it had meant everything to you all.

Now the four of you were on your honeymoon in Tony's rebuilt Malibu home. 

"Do you think we'd get in trouble if we moved here?" Natasha asked, pulling her sunglasses down.

"From who? We're all adults. Who would we get in trouble with?" Tony asked her.

"Fury. The government. The news. The world." You listed off. 

"At the end of the day, how much do they really matter?" Tony shrugged, pulling you onto his lap. 

"You would avoid Nick?" Natasha asked, quirking a brow. 

"The pirate doesn't scare me." Tony shook his head as you and Natasha grinned. "Don't tell him I said that." 

Before either of you could respond, the sound of footsteps coming closer caused you all to look up.

Steve was staggering over to the poolside, looking very much worse for wear.

"Jesus, Stevie, how many laps did you do?" Natasha asked as Steve stole her water and gulped it down.

"One." Steve gasped. "I felt like I was going to pass out, so I quit."

"Jesus Christ, sit down, Steve." You ordered, standing and moving over to the blonde. "You are really pale." You tsked, holding his head in your hands. 

"That's the Irish in him." Tony joked, now standing behind you with Natasha at his side. 

"When was the last time you slept?" You asked, running your finger over the prominent dark circles.

"The wedding night." Steve sighed. "I haven't been able to sleep since."

"You're exhausted, Steve." Natasha pointed out. "You can't run on willpower alone."

"I know that, but I physically can't make myself sleep," Steve told her. "I don't know what it is, but I can't."

"Maybe it's because you're trying to force yourself to sleep instead of allowing yourself to." Tony reasoned. 

"Why did you get all philosophical?" Steve asked him. 

"Always have been. Let's get you to bed, Cap." Tony said, helping Steve to his feet. With a bit of maneuvering, the three of you were able to move the bulky super soldier to your large bed and put him under the covers.

"Stay, please," Steve mumbled, already half asleep. 

"Always, Stevie." You said as the three of you crawled in beside your Steve.

Vacations could always be stressful, but it seemed for the four of you it was always amplified. Especially when someone always managed to get sick.

Remember all Taglists are open as are requests. 

Taglist

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Natasha Romanoff Taglist

@natasha-danvers @5aftermidnightdaily-blog @ohfuckno

All women Taglist

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[upamongthestarss]

Perfect Timing//Bill Denbrough x fem reader

Please be kind! This is only my second time publishing on tumblr, so I’m not really sure what I’m doing, but here we are!

Warnings: smut, brief mention of fem oral receiving, swearing, mild angst, underage drinking

Spring break came way too slowly, especially for Y/n. Freshman year of college is said to be one of the best years of your life, but it’s definitely the worst. Her high school was entirely too easy for her, probably because her teachers were just idiots. Then college hit, and the workload was unbearable. Not to mention, she grew homesick for her parents and her best friends and even a tiny bit for Bill. 

Oh, how she hated Bill back home. 

Well, okay, she didn’t hate him, it was more of just a mutual tension that sometimes led to the Losers separating them at all costs. 

They went on a few dates freshman year, and even kissed once, but it all ended when popular Autumn asked Bill to “help her with English” at lunch one day. He completely forgot to tell Y/n, but didn’t think much of the whole affair anyway. When Y/n walked out of the lunch line, she smiled at her newly official boyfriend. He was hunched over a piece of paper, diligently writing with ginger hair falling into his eyes. When Autumn saw her coming over, she tapped Bill on the shoulder, and kissed him full on the mouth when he turned to her.

Y/n’s hands went slack, causing her tray to clatter to the ground. Tomato soup splattered all over her new white Keds. She obviously looked down to see the damage, and missed Bill pushing Autumn off of him. He went over to check on her and help her clean up, but she stormed off to the bathrooms. 

From then on out, there’s been so much tension between them. Even though Bill explained what happened countless times, she’s absolutely refused to listen. She’s had trust issues after her biological father cheated on her mother when she was little, and this, well, this basically made them inflate like the economy. She wasn’t on speaking terms with him until the end of the school year, and even then their friendship was rocky.

But there was also a sexual tension. Bill and Y/n still had blatantly obvious feelings for each other, whether they wanted to admit or not. In fact, they even went to senior prom together, but it ended in disaster. There was a dramatic exit from Y/n when he mentioned how he was on good terms with Autumn now, and she was really sorry for what happened. 

“Why the hell would you bring that up now?” Y/n rose from her seat.

“B-b-because she t-told me she w-wanted us to-”

“Can’t we just completely forget what happened back then? It was so long ago.”

Bill flushed. “Well, it r-r-really seems l-like you’ve n-n-never forgotten ab-about it these past th-three years.”

She threw her napkin on the table and left after saying, “You’re a dick.”

That night she vented to Eddie and ultimately admitted to having feelings for him, but he knew that all along anyway.

That night was the last time they talked until it was time for Bill to leave for NYU.

“Good luck,” she told him, bouncing on the balls of her feet nervously. 

“Th-thank you, Y/n, y-you too!” he was so excited that day that he even pulled her into a hug, much to her surprise (and delight). 

And now, here she is, on the plane to Palm Springs. It’s a long flight from Marywood, so Y/n uses her time to finish her homework. She’s majorly jetlagged by the time she lands at Palm Springs International. Luckily, the cab ride isn’t ridiculously long. When she gets to Richie’s beach house, he’s on the porch with his feet up and a daiquiri in hand.

“Y/N!!!!” he shouts, putting his drink to the side and running down the stairs.

“RICHIE!!!!” she yells back, dropping her bags to run and hug him. 

“Oh, it’s been so long!”

“I know!! And holy shit, your house is gorgeous!”

“I’m telling you, Y/n, I lucked out so much by scoring that audition. Can you believe it? Rich Records Tozier, the nation’s youngest beloved DJ.”

“Hardly,” she chuckles. “So how is the life of fame treating you?”

“Oh, brilliant. Come on in, I’ll give you a tour,” he scoops up her bag and leads her to the door. It’s an incredible house, with a beautiful kitchen and even a movie theater. 

“And here’s your room,” he gestures to the first door upstairs. 

“May I?” she asks, hand on the doorknob. 

“Be my guest.”

She swings it open to a redheaded girl on one of the two beds. She looks up from her magazine, smirking. “Hey, roomie!”

“Bev!” Y/n shrieks as her best friend runs to her and practically knocks her over. 

“When did you get here?!” 

“About an hour ago. Stan’s here too, but he’s taking a nap.”

“Well, we’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” Y/n grins mischievously. 

“Everyone else is supposed to get here tomorrow morning, except for Mike. He’s coming tonight.”

“Oh, thank God. No Bill for a half day more.”

“Oh, Y/n, don’t be so close-minded,” Bev giggles and they sit down on the same bed, bursting with so much to catch up on. Richie doesn’t know if he should sit down with them or just go back to his daiquiri, but the doorbell rings.

“Saved by the bell,” he says, getting the side eye in response. 

The girls talk for hours until they decide to say hello to Mike. Y/n stops at the bathroom first, and it takes her a while to find the kitchen after that. She has to follow the voices and Richie’s booming laugh.

“Sorry, I got lost,” she says, turning in the kitchen. “Hi, Mi-”

The third person talking to Richie and Beverly is not Mike.

It’s Bill. And she looks like a total bum in her old sundress and messy ponytail. She isn’t wearing a drop of makeup, either.

“Y/n.”

“Bill. Good to see you,” she holds out her hand professionally. He shakes it.

Is it good to see him? Looking at his cerulean eyes certainly sends butterflies through her stomach and through… other parts of her body.

“Y-you too.”

That immaculate stutter. She sits down at a barstool and crosses her legs together tightly. Richie and Beverly are quick to notice it, but restrain from commenting.

“I thought you were coming in tomorrow morning?” 

She doesn’t sound rude or accusatory, just curious.

“M-my flight got c-c-cancelled.”

“Okay, gotcha.” 

She drums her fingertips on the counter restlessly, not really knowing what else to say.

Luckily, Richie has a plan in case things get awkward between these two- and he’s already having to use it.

“Anyone want a drink?”

************************

“Nursing school is so insane. In anatomy, our teacher dissected a literal human body, and we had to examine it.”

“Eddie, please. We’re eating,” Y/n coughs. 

“It was disgusting, but it was also fascinating,” he defends himself.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Ben shrugs. 

“Y/n, tell us more about Marywood,” Eddie says, but she’s way too busy watching Bill talk to Richie’s cute next door neighbor while holding her little sister.

“You’re so good with her!” she simpers, tossing her shiny brown hair.

“Y/n? Earth to Y/n?”

“What?” 

“How’s Marywood?” 

“Oh, it’s… fine.”

“Just fine? Did you pick a major yet?”

She shakes her head.

“What about that guy? Are you still with him?”

“David? No, we were together for a while, but I guess the spark just kinda died. I mean, he initiated the breakup, but it was all mutual.”

Eddie squirts a dollop of sunscreen the size of a clementine in his hand. “That sucks. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be,” Y/n shrugs, averting her gaze back to Bill. She’s very glad that she's wearing sunglasses, to hide her stares.

The cute girl was right, he is good with that little girl. Her heart would be melted, but Bill keeps flirting with the older sister. It’s disgusting.

And then, that girl has the audacity to drop the rattle she shook in the baby’s face. Y/n is close enough to hear the conversation, or at least read lips.

“Oh, l-l-l-let m-me get that.”

“Don’t worry, I got it,” she smiles, bending over so stealthily so that her breasts are all but out of that bikini.

“Ugh,” Y/n rolls her eyes.

“What’s up?” Ben asks.

“Nothing. I’m just going to go to the bathroom,” she stands up and walks almost catatonically to the door.

Instead of going to the bathroom, she finds a glass and slams it on the table. 

“D-damn, Y/n. That’s n-n-not a napkin, you kn-know.”

She jumps at Bill’s voice. He obviously followed her in, and she’s not too thrilled about it.

“Funny,” she replies, searching the cabinets. “Do you want anything?”

“I-I was ac-actually getting d-drinks.”

“Oh, for you and your new girlfriend? Hey, let me know when the wedding is. That is, if I even get on the guest list.”

“What’s your p-p-problem?”

“I don’t have a problem.”

Y/n finds a bottle of straight vodka and pours it right in the glass.

“Hey, its eh-eh-eleven AM,” Bill warns her, reaching for the glass. Unfortunately, their hands grab for it at the same time and it goes crashing to the ground. 

“Great, thanks,” she says.

“I didn’t w-want you to be w-w-wasted all d-day.”

“Listen, Bill,” she takes a deep breath. “I really appreciate your concern. I do. But it’s my life, and if I want to get wasted this early, then no one should stop me.” 

He doesn’t answer. They both grab rags and start to clean up around their feet.

“Th-this kind of r-r-reminds me of a certain sit-situation involving t-tomato soup,” Bill risks saying.

It was a terrible idea.

“Are you kidding me? I thought we moved on from that!”

“Yeah, so w-w-we can j-joke about it now!”

She’s silent for a minute, a blend of wrath and sadness.

“Just,” Y/n says, “Just go back out with your girlfriend.”

“I-I-I h-hardly know- o-okay, what the hell is y-y-your problem? We’re n-not together an-anymore!!! You sh-sh-shouldn’t c-care about my l-l-love life.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” she stands up, vodka dripping from the rag to her toes. “I don’t care that I shouldn’t care. I do care! I’ve always cared!” 

Bill is speechless, and she honestly doesn’t blame him. Y/n assumes he doesn’t feel the same about her. After all, they haven’t dated since freshman year. Sighing, she puts the rag in the sink and walks back outside.

She’s opening up her book and lying on her stomach to get a tan when Y/n hears an obnoxious “Excuse me?”

She looks up to the girl, who could literally be a bikini model.She looks at Y/n like she’s a piece of dirt, and Y/n just wants to smack her. She could never hurt anyone, though.

“Um, do you know when Bill will be back with the drinks?”

“Not a clue.”

******

Bill absolutely could not stop thinking of Y/n all day. He never really can, ever, but his thoughts have been out of control all damn day. They range from wild fantasies to regrets from way back when to just simply: She still likes me, she still likes me, she still likes me!!!!

He wants more than anything to talk to her and confess he’s been in love with her since high school, maybe even before that. But some small voice in Bill’s head tells him that even if she does have feelings, she won’t want to act on them. After all, he’s been nothing but an asshole to her.

Then again, so has she.

It’s really ironic that they’re so abrasive towards each other. Y/n is so kind and friendly to everyone she meets; that’s why Bill fell for her. And everyone tells him that he’s nothing but a sweetheart. And he’s always treated his every girlfriend like a princess. 

But it’s Y/n he wants as a girlfriend, and it always has been. 

Y/n comes running down the stairs, using the bansiters to prop herself up and skip the last couple steps. She’s been strangely lighthearted after she made that confession to Bill. It had been a weight on shoulders for the longest time, after all. And now that it’s out of the bag, she feels as if she can finally move on.

Holy shit, she’s so cute, Bill says to himself. She has this youthful energy, but the looks of a gorgeous young woman. Not to mention her outfit- a pastel yellow halter top, short jean shorts, and a sky blue scrunchie- looks magnificent.

“Okay, I’m ready to go!” she grins widely. “Sorry for the holdup!”

“You’re good,” Richie replies. “We were just figuring out transportation, considering I can only take five of us in my car.”

“I don’t mind taking the trunk,” Y/n shrugs. “Anyone else?” 

“I will,” Beverly volunteers. 

“Okay, great, and five of you can squish in the backseat. Mike claimed shotgun earlier.”

Everyone else groans while he flashes a smile and gives them finger guns.

“So charming,” Bev laughs and grabs Y/n’s hand. They run out to the car and squish in the trunk.

“Bev, I have to tell you something,” Y/n whispers.

“What?”

“I’m still not over Bill.”

“Thank you, Y/n,” she responds sarcastically.

“How did you know that? I only told Eddie!”

“It was just a little obvious,” she laughs. “And the good news is that we all think he feels the same way!”

“I don’t think he does, Bev,” Y/n shakes her head.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, I told him today-”

“You what?”

“Shush!” she scolds as the boys get in the car. Luckily they’re all talking and can’t hear the girls if they whisper. “It just sort of... slipped out. But he didn’t even say anything. He just kind of… froze? It was so awkward.”

“You know he’s a little awkward around girls that he likes.”

“Is he, though?”

“Sure he is!”

“I don’t know, Bev. He stood there for a full thirty seconds without saying anything, and he just let me leave,” Y/n explains. “I think if he really liked me, he would have told me by now.”

Beverly gets quiet. “I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

“Hey, it’s okay! The timing was never right, and that- that happens. And it’s better I know now so I’m not hung up on him for the rest of my life.”

The rest of the drive is mostly just Beverly telling Y/n that there’s someone out there for her, and to keep her eyes open at the restaurant. 

It’s a bright restaurant, very tropical and very flamboyant. A lush plant, obviously made of silicon, is the centerpiece of every table. 

Good, it can hide me from Bill and spare my embarrassment, Y/n thinks as she sits opposite him. Unfortunately, Ben asks the hostess to take it away so he can see everyone. Y/n is mortified. Being directly across from her, he can watch and judge the girl the entire dinner.

She tries her hardest the whole meal not to pay Bill any mind, but it gets difficult when he starts getting tipsy. And drunk Bill can be wild. Singing and dancing on the tables wild. Luckily he isn’t at that point yet.

She doesn’t even know how he was able to buy drinks here; he’s only nineteen. The waitress must have a crush on him or something. Maybe she and Richie’s neighbor could start a Bill fanclub.

Y/n has a feeling the waitress would ask for her ID, though, so she sticks to soda. And three Shirley Temples is never good on anyone’s bladder.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she announces. “Anyone else?”

Everyone shakes their heads. Everyone except…

“Me! M-m-me!” Bill waves his hand around like a hyper child.

“Great, I’m a babysitter now,” Y/n murmurs.

She starts walking to the bathroom, Bill hot on her heels. Surprisingly enough, when she finishes peeing, he’s actually waiting for her. 

“F-f-finally. G-g-girls take so long in the buh-buh-bathroom.”

She ignores him.

“Y/nnnnn,” he slurs. “I’ve been m-m-meaning to t-t-tell you, your a-a-ass looks fantastic in th-those shorts.”

“Because that’s not a rude thing to say at all,” she replies, feeling her face burn up.

“I’m n-n-not trying to be r-rudeeee,” Bill grabs her waist and pulls her in. Y/n can smell all the alcohol on his breath, and it’s disgusting. He kisses her full on the mouth.

She shoves him off, embarrassed by his behavior. “You’re drunk.”

“If b-b-being drunk makes me w-w-want to m-make out with you, I-I-I never want t-to be so-sober.”

That hits Y/n hard. Bill Denbrough wants her. But only when he’s drunk. 

He doesn’t love her in his right mind. This is all she has, and she can’t even fathom just taking advantage of him when he’s drunk. Using someone would hurt her in such an inexplicable way, and not to mention it would tear whatever small bond she had with Bill into shreds.

She plops back down in her seat, barely touching the rest of her food or speaking for the rest of the night.

When she gets to her shared room with Bev, Y/n takes a shower. She’s always loved showers because they’re a place where you can cry without risk of anyone hearing over the water running.

And that’s exactly what Y/n does. She lets the tears stream down her face, washed away by the showerhead’s water.

*******

Bill knows he got plastered last night, so it’s no surprise when he wakes up with a pounding headache. But he isn’t sure why Y/n is so quiet, especially around him. Usually she has a remark or at least a glare for him, but she seems almost meek today.

He pulls Beverly aside at one point, and asks if he did anything to her last night.

“I don’t know, Bill. You guys went to the bathroom at the same time, and when you came back, Y/n seemed really upset.”

“L-l-like angry, or s-sad?”

“Sad. But she didn’t tell me anything that happened. I’m sorry, Bill.”

“It’s o-o-okay. Th-Thanks, Bev.”

He spends the rest of the day trying to remember something- anything- from last night. Bathrooms. Bathrooms.

There are some vignettes. Y/n across from him, in that pretty top. Watching her ass as she walked to the bathrooms. 

Oh, shit. Bill made some sort of comments about those shorts. What happened after that? He kissed her, didn’t he? But why would that make her sad?

When evening rolls around, Bill still doesn’t remember anything new. He’s the only one in the living room, not even paying attention to the TV. His friends come bounding down the stairs, all wearing sneakers and athletic outfits.

“A-a-are you g-guys going somewhere?”

“Yeah, to the new rope climbing place,” Stan replies. 

“Where’s Y/n?”

“She has vertigo, and wanted to stay here. We thought you could stay here so she’s not alone all night.”

“You d-d-didn’t th-think about asking me f-first?”

“We drew names out of a hat,” Beverly steps in. “You just weren’t around when we did it.”

“Isn’t that a l-l-little ruh-rude to Y-Y/n? One of us is g-g-going to st-stay with her instead of h-having fun?”

“No, Bill, it was the opposite!” Richie tries to save the group, much to their chagrin. “We were voting on who didn’t get to stay home with Y/n. And you won! You get to!”

“Wh-what i-if I want to donate m-my win?”

“Doesn’t work like that. Wins are final.”

It’s all BS, and Bill knows it. There never was a hat draw, everyone knows that Bill and Y/n have a lot to work out, and they don’t want the two to go back from spring break with even more animosity for each other. 

Also, they know that the two have feelings that have been expressed so wrongly over the years. Maybe now it’s time to work them out.

“So we’re going to head out now; have fun with Y/n!” Eddie waves, and they run out excitedly.

 Bill sighs, not knowing what he’s going to do with Y/n all night. Maybe she’ll just be antisocial and hide in her room all night, but he personally hopes she won’t. He decides to hang out by the pool for a while, and changes into his swim trunks.

By the time he gets outside, though, Y/n is already there. She’s hugging her knees to her chest and watching the little waterfall intently.

“Hey,” Bill says, making her jump.

“Hey.”

“C-c-can I join you?”

She nods. 

“Why aren’t you with the others?”

“B-because I w-w-won their ‘contest,’”

“Contest?” she shakes her head, not understanding.

“To b-b-babysit you, ap-apparently.”

“Ah. Sounds legitimate.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just lets the sounds of the waterfall and the faint grasshoppers fill the silence. He’s sure Y/n doesn’t mind, though. When everyone else complained about the summer grasshoppers as kids, she would always dote on how they’re melodious and comforting.

Bill can’t hold himself back any longer.

“Y/n, what d-d-did I do l-last night?”

She turns to him. “You really don’t remember?”

“I re-remember making a com-comment, which I-I’m sorry about b-by the way, th-that was an a-asshole move. And I-I remember kissing y-you. But then what?”

Taking a deep breath, Y/n continues. “Well, then I pushed you off and told you that you were drunk.”

She pauses.

“And th-then?”

“Then you said, ‘If I want to make out with you when I’m drunk, then I don’t ever want to be sober.’”

That’s it? Bill thinks. He’s not stupid enough to voice his thoughts, luckily.

“Oh, Y-Y-Y/n, I w-w-was drunk. I d-didn’t know what I w-w-was saying.”

“Listen, Bill. I know you remember what I told you yesterday in the kitchen. And what you told me at the restaurant really hurt, okay?”

“Why? I-I wanted to k-k-kiss you,” he asks, genuinely confused.

“You’re such an idiot sometimes!” Y/n laughs incredulously. “You wanted to kiss me when you were drunk, not in your right mind!”

“I al-always want to k-k-kiss you in my right mind!”

“What?!” 

“I-I think I love you, Y/n.”

She’s frozen. Could he actually mean that? Has he been drinking again? Hearing that from Bill Denbrough has been her dream since… forever.

“I think I love you too, Bill.”

He jumps up from his lounge chair, and leans over Y/n. He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and kisses her tenderly, gently. Her lips are just as soft as he remembers them to be all those years ago, softer than any other girl he’s kissed.

“Wow,” she beams as they pull apart. “I guess I knew this, but you’re a much better kisser than my ex.”

He laughs. “W-why, thank you. You’re n-n-not so bad y-yourself.”

“Thanks,” she giggles. “I just… I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like doing something crazy now, something outrageous.”

“L-like what?”

“Hm…” she thinks for a minute. “Do you want to go skinny dipping?”

“Okay, sure,” Bill chuckles. 

Grinning, she begins to peel off her one piece. She slips the straps off, and the rest slowly slides off her body. Her breasts are exposed first, then her stomach, then everything. Her skin is smooth and glorious.

Bill pulls off his swim trunks and throws them behind him. Y/n wants to tease him about his erection, but she’s way too shocked at his size.

They bask in the beauty of each other for a moment before they dive into the water, crisp and cool on their bare bodies. Y/n splashes Bill right in his face.

He pushes wet strands of hair from his ocean eyes. “H-how dare you?” 

“What are you going to do about it?” she taunts.

“This,” Bill says, throwing Y/n over his shoulder and taking her outside the water. She’s both screaming and laughing her head off at this point. He carries her all the way to the deep end and tosses her in. 

When she surfaces, Y/n makes sure to flip him off. 

“So r-r-rude.”

He cannonballs in, and they swim around, and eventually go under the waterfall. They end up making out and gasping for air.

“D-d-do you want to tuh-take this inside?” Bill whispers.

She nods, and they get out. As Y/n shivers, Bill gets them fluffy towels from a bin by the chairs.

Grabbing his hand, she pulls him through the sliding glass doors. They run around the house in nothing but towels, giggling and kissing and dripping pool water everywhere. The two finally make it to Bill’s room and go directly to the bed (after locking the door).

“Spruh-spread your legs,” Bill breathes in her ear, sending goosebumps up and down her body. 

She obeys and lets him kiss her knees, her thighs, and eventually her core. He pleases Y/n in a way her old boyfriend never did.

When she finishes, Bill holds her for a minute so she can catch her breath. Then, when he turns around to put on a condom, she moves against the wall.

“Oh, s-s-so you w-want wall sex n-now?” Bill raises his eyebrows.

“Maybe,” she shrugs. “If you’re comfortable with it.”

Instead of using words, Bill throws Y/n up against the wall and kisses her roughly. Their tongues clash, and she loves every second of it. Then he goes in. He starts slow at first, but begins to pick up the pace with her approval.

“D-damn, you’re so t-t-tight,” he whispers while she keeps muttering his name.

“Probably because I wasn’t with someone as big as you before.”

Hearing that makes him turn redder than his hair. “Really?”

“Really,” she sighs. “Can you go a little slower?”

He listens to her, and almost screams in pleasure when she starts to suck on his neck.

They both finish in a couple minutes, and are pretty burned out- Y/n especially because she’s never made such rough love before.

She lies in his arms, back on the bed, and traces the love mark forming on his neck.

“I think I love you,” Y/n says for the second time tonight. 

“I-I th-think I love you t-too.”

They can’t help smiling for the umpteenth time in the past hour. Their stars had never aligned until now, and it couldn’t be a more perfect exchange of love. The wait was unbearable, but incredibly worth it. 

Y/n and Bill make each other feel whole, like there was a sort of void within each other, unfilled until now. 

“Hey,” Y/n’s voice is soft and gentle. “I’m so sorry about these past years. You know I have trust issues, but I took them too far and didn’t treat you right. And I’m so sorry.”

“I’m s-sorry, too. I’ve been an ass-asshole to y-y-you, a-and it’s m-m-my fault we broke uh-up in the f-first place.”

“Don’t say that,” Y/n frowns. “It was Evil Autumn’s fault.”

They chuckle. 

Resting her head on Bill’s chest, Y/n asks the dreaded question. 

“So what’s going to become of us? After spring break.”

Bill thinks for a minute, stroking her hair, and admits, “I don’t w-w-want us to c-c-cut each other off again.”

“Neither do I.”

“I think our sc-sc-schools are like t-t-two hours ap-apart; that’s n-not terrible.”

“It’s not,” Y/n agrees. “Maybe we could take turns driving every weekend, and find a halfway point or something.”

“A-an ex-exact halfway point,” Bill adds.

“An exact halfway point.”

They can make it work, they’ve got to. Both Bill and Y/n are extremely optimistic about the future ahead, now that every feeling has been sorted out between them. And even in the unfavorable event where things don’t work out, there will always be Palm Springs. 

Bill presses a kiss to her forehead. There’s not a chance that they won’t make it. The timing is finally, after all these years, perfect. 

[shadedrose01]

hey! I absolutely love your writing & I was just wondering if you could do something where peter & Harley are dating but Harley doesn’t post or comment about their relationship and peter gets really insecure thinking it’s cause he’s not good enough 🥺

Honey Lavender

Thanks for the prompt, anon! It's not exactly what you asked for (sorry!), but I hope it's still okay! I hope you, and everybody else enjoys!

Slight Trigger Warning: there are mentions of homophobia, but nothing shown :)

--

Peter drops his bags onto the guest bed, a cloud of dust puffing into the air and causing him to sneeze.

"Oh dear, we havent dusted this room in a while, I'm sorry love." Ms. Keener ("Call me Macy, dear, we're family!") apologizes, rubbing an arm over the bedsheets to collect any of the remaining dust bunnies still attached to the linen, pieces of her dark chestnut brown hair falling out of her bun and into her face.

Peter flails his arms a bit, trying to reassure her quickly. "No, no, it's okay, its perfect, thank you so much, Ms- Macy." He corrects himself as she sends him a playful glare over her shoulder.

"Miss Macy? That's a new one." Another voice pitches in from the doorframe, cheeky, Harley's thin but muscular body leaning against the wooden panels with a grin highlighting his dimples, his baby blues twinkling.

"Harley James Keener, you be nice now!" Macy chides, leaning closer to smack him upside the head, Harley ducking around her hand with a chuckle. Peter watches the scene with a small smile, with only grows as boyfriend comes to wrap his arms around his waist in a tight squeezed hug.

Peter was (finally) visiting Rose Hill for the first time, after over a year of him and Harley dating, and he couldn't be more excited. He was still battling jetlag, and reeling from all the distinct differences between Rose Hill and Queens ('There's barely any noise out here, no cars horns or people yelling or anything'), but he had always wanted to come, always wanted to meet Harley's family and see just how the southern belle of his had been raised. And just a few minutes in, after having reached the Keener farm and having met Macy and Abbie (a spitfire is the only way he could describe her, he loved her already), he was already learning so much more about the small town life, and about his boyfriend, things he didnt even think about, and he adored it. He loved it with every fiber of his being.

"Ma," Harley whined, plopping his chin onto Peter's shoulder and rocking them back and forth, causing Peter to giggle. "Don't embarass me!" His accent has grown thicker since he came home a few months ago, after staying with Tony for the summer months, and Peter couldnt help how much he loved it, couldnt help the shivers it caused, Harley sending him a knowing look, eyebrow raised. Peter flushes, knowing that's going to be brought up later, during a more personal time.

"Then don't be rude to Peter." She snarks, sending him a sly wink, which causes Harley to rolls his eyes and Peter to laugh. She makes her way towards the door, swaying her hips and humming under her breath, before she pauses to give them both a hard stare, her vibrant green hazel eyes narrowing slightly. "No funny business, you hear me?"

"Aye aye, captain." Harley salutes lazily, grinning as his mom huffs, the smile on her face betraying her true emotions, and walks out the rest of the way, closing the door most of the way on her way out, only leaving it open a crack.

As soon as his mother is out of sight, the old wooden stairs creaking signaling her departure downstairs, Harley grabs on to his hips and spins him around, pressing a kiss to his lips as soon as he can. It was the first time they've been alone together since Peter landed, so he wasnt surprised at the act, just wrapping his arms around Harley's neck, one hand gripping his back and the other running through his hair, pressing them a little closer together and pushing back into the kiss.

"Missed you," Harley mumbles against his lips, before pulling away, a softer, personal smile tilting his lips, his eyes bright like a hot summer's day. A thumb brushes the skin of his hip from under his shirt, small, soothing motions. "Missed you so much."

"I missed you too, baby. So so very much." Peter puts their foreheads together, and shuts his eyes, sighing constantly as they start to rock gently in their embrace, swaying back and forth to an unknown song, to the beat of their hearts and the rhythm of their souls, combined, intertwined.

They spin a few circles together in silence, just breathing each others air and feeling each others heat, being in the moment, before Harley puffs out a breath, and murmurs shakily. "Pete, there's something I gotta tell you."

He opens his eyes, lifting his head to look into Harley's now stormy ones, swirling and churning with a darkness, a sadness that has Peter's stomach twisting, his heart dropping. What happened? Did he do something? What did he do?

Harley goes to tell him, goes to speak when another feminine voice cuts them off from down the hall.

"Harls, your friends are here!" Abbey yells from what sounds like down the stairs, and Harley flinches back, the embrace and the moment broken.

He calls back a quick "Okay, coming!" Before giving Peter a plastic, shaky smile, eyes wide and panicked. "Come on, let's go say hi, I guess."

"Harley-" He doesnt get the words out as Harley grabs his hand and practically starts dragging him down the stairs, and Peter stifles an annoyed (and worried) sigh, knowing that his boyfriend is clearly not going to answer whatever the heck that was upstairs anymore, now that his friends were here.

Oh well. Time to try and make another good first impression.

They slide their shoes on before going out the white, metal swing door, and onto the painted wooden wrap around porch that encompasses the entire front of the Keener residence. Right in front of the doorway, on the dirt driveway, sits two different ATV's, their engines still humming as they sit in park, their riders still sitting on top, one with one person and the other with a passenger. The person right in the front, with a bright orange ATV, lifts up the visor of their helmet, revealing a boy not much younger than Harley, with shaggy brown hair, oval brown eyes and chubby freckled cheeks, pushed up by a smirk.

"Yo Harley, you comin' out?" The boy yells over the hum of the engine, his voice full of teasing, of mirth. He makes eye contact with Peter, whose interovertive instincts cause him to shrink a little under the gaze, and raises an eyebrow, looking shocked, surprised. "Whose that?"

Harley ignores the second question, looking away as he responds to the first with a shrug, "I can't tonight, EJ, sorry."

"Oh come on, Harls!" The passenger on the other ATV chimes in, a younger girl with curly ginger hair and green eyes, her arms wrapped around the driver. "You never come out anymore."

"And you never answered his question, dude." The driver chimes in, finally, the older man's deeper voice rumbling lower than the engine of the machine, his gray eyes harsh and cold, his lips tilted in a disapproving frown. He nods his head towards Peter, who is now standing dumbly at Harleys side, as he asks, "Who is he? Your boyfriend?"

There's something about the way the man spits out the word that causes a flair of fear, of bubbling anger to rise in his chest, and Peter opens his mouth to spit back, to say loud and proud that why yes, yes he is, when-

"What?" Harley sputters, laughing anxiously, the sound sounding all fake and wrong. "No, of course not! I'm not gay!"

And Peter's heart stops.

His head shoots over to stare at Harley with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, but Harley isnt looking his way, wont look his way, his eyes averted and looking anywhere else but him, and Peter's heart his crumbling, his lung tightening and his throat squeezing as tears fill his eyes.

...what?

"He's just a- a family friend, and I gotta say behind to watch 'em, you know how it is." Harley gazes straight forward as he says this, his voice unwavering, but monotone, obviously forced to Peter but apparently not to his friends as they all laugh and nod.

"Okay, good! You had us worried there for a sec." The boy, EJ, snickers, before putting his visor back down, revving his engine for seemingly no reason. "We'll see ya later?"

"Yeah! Cya!" Harley yells back as the engines roar back to life, the trio pulling out of the driveway and shooting off down the road again, the bright orange ATV doing a wheely on the way down.

Theres a few moments of nothing, a few shattered heartbeats where the two listens to the roars fade into the distance, before Peter cant stands it anymore, turning on foot and racing back into the house, hearing the metal swing door clanging against the frame of the house. Hearing Harley call out to him, and as his vision starts to blur, he moves faster, pushing past Abbie with a mumbled apology before rushing up the stairs, taking two at a time, and making it to the guest bedroom slamming door behind him, causing the wood to splinter slightly.

As soon as the door is shut and locked, tears pool out of his eyes as he breaks down, pressing a hand to his mouth to stifle his sobs as he sits on the dusty, creaking bed, curling into himself as he hears heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, and another lighter pair coming after that, hears Abbie mutter something jokingly and Harley hiss out a response before the knocking and pleading start.

"Pete? Please open up, I'm sorry, let me explain-"

"Explain what?" He tries to snap, tries to yell and bite and sneer, but it comes out as a sob, weak and shaky. "How you apparently aren't gay? How I'm a 'family friend'?" Peter whimpers into his hands, rubbing at his eyes to try and get rid of the frustrating tears pouring out of them. It's stupid, he was so, so stupid.

"No, Pete-" Theres a light thunk, like Harley leaned his forehead against the door with a little too much force. Theres a sigh, low and sad, before Harleys voice comes back, still pleading, but softer, full of sorrow, "It's- It's not like that-"

"Isnt it!? You don't want to tell them a-about me, I-I get it." He does, he really truly does. He's just boring old, useless, nobody Peter Parker, while Harley is... well, Harley. So he gets it. He just doesn't understand why it hurts so damn much.

"Peter-" Now, he sounds choked, like Peter's pain is starting to get to him too, like the heartbreak is contagious. "Please, baby, let me in. Let me explain, please. I promise you, it's not what you think."

Theres a pause, and Peter hates himself, hates himself for considering it, hates himself for getting up, hates himself himself for agreeing with it, unlocking the door and stepping back just in time for Harley to open it swiftly, looking frazzled, hair askew and eyes wide, teary, his cheeks wet.

Their eyes reconnect, Peter's spilling brown to Harley's ocean blues, and whatever look is on Peter's face causes Harleys to crumble, and rush out, "I want to tell them! A-about us, I do, god, I want to tell them so bad, Pete, but-" He sighs long and low, eyes falling downcast, head bowed in shame. "They're homophobic, Pete. Everyone in this town is." Peter's heart thumps painfully in his chest, and so many different questions swirl in his head, but he swallows them down, letting Harley continue, voice tight, fearful, shaky. "I got lucky with my mom, my sister, I thought they were gonna hate me too when I first came out, I was-" his breath hicks. "I was so ready for them to kick me out and not look twice, but they didnt, and I'm lucky, Peter, I'm lucky. If the town found out, they'd- they'd tell ma to bring to therapy, to Church, to fix me like I'm some broken toy." He spits it out, bitter, angry, and the fire and ache in Peter's chest is slowly receding, slowly fading the more Harley talks and the more he understands. Harley sighs again, and his shoulders slump, eyes growing misty. "I wish I could tell them about us, Pete, I really really do. I wish I could scream it from the rooftops how much I adore you, but I just-"

"Can't." Peter finishes, wiping the drying tears off of his cheeks.

"Yeah." He whispers, squeezing his eyes shut, a few trickles falling. "I'm sorry, baby. Im so sorry. I didn't want to say any of that. I didnt mean any of it. I'm sorry."

Peter glances up at him, sees the way Harley looks, with his hunched frame, head low, eyes shut, tears streaming down his red face, lips trembling, hands shaking, and makes a wounded noise at the back of his throat, taking a few steps forward and pulling the boy into a tight hug.

How was he supposed to stay mad at him when he looked like that? When everything is out of his control, when he's only doing what he has to for his safety, for his life.

Harley stiffens in his embrace, before slumping forward into him, grasping at the back of his hoodie and burying his wet face into the crook of Peter's neck, shivering with a sob. "Its okay," Peter whispers, kissing the side of his head and rocking them gently back and forth, just like they had done earlier, before this misunderstanding, before this mess. "It's okay. I'm sorry for misunderstanding."

Harley shakes his head, sniffling. "No, no, you didnt- didnt know. I'm sorry I said those things."

Now its Peter's turn to shake his head, pressing another kiss to his head, this time behind his ear. "Its *okay*," Peter reiterates, reassures, and Harley sighs, his warm breath puffing against Peter's chest.

"No it isn't." Harley responds remorseful, his grip tightening. "I shouldnt have to do this. I shouldn't have to pretend, to lie. But I have to. I'm going to continue to have to."

"I know," Peter murmurs, rubbing a firm hand up and down his trembling boyfriend's back. "I know. It's okay, I understand now. Understand that you don't mean it." He pauses, shutting his eyes and hooking his chin on Harleys shoulder. "You're right though. You shouldn't have to do this. And I'm so so sorry that you have to live like this, especially around your friends, but-" He pulls away, opens his eyes, and places a hand on each of Harley's freckled tear stained cheeks, looking dead in his azure, shining, red rimmed but still so beautiful, so so beautiful eyes, and tells him firmly, promising, "One day, I'm going to get you out of here, away from this town and it's people, and you'll never have to deal with this again. Okay?"

Harley's face crinkles again, but this time its with joy, with love, a smile growing on his face as more tears trickle down his cheeks. "Okay." He murmurs, soft, shaky, but honest, but true.

Things may not be perfect, but one day, Peter thinks as he pulls his boyfriend, the love of his life, his soulmate in for another big hug, one day, they will be. As long as he gets to stay by Harley's side, everything will be okay. He's sure of it.

[gingerly-writing]

Don't have a FLF for today, but I just wanted to say that all the lines have been so wonderful and creative in all kinds of ways. So let this be praise for all the brilliant writers out there and for you, ginger, for thinking of this in the first place. Thank you. ♥️

awww, thank you too! I have so much love for all the people who sent in lines (curse you, jetlag, for not letting me finish them all tonight!) and for you fort his comment 💚💚

[olehistorian]

PHYLLIS Logan is only minutes back from New York where the actress has been promoting the new Downton Abbey movie. The national station PBS has been beaming out interviews across the nation, given the series about toffs and toff-servers has been such an success in the classless land of the free.

Logan’s voice is soft and a little subdued. She speaks in thumbnails, not given to flourishes at all. I factor in that the expansive, often dramatic language of hyperbole was spoken by very few in Renfrewshire in the 1950s and 1960s (yet actors tend to be more effusive). And I factor in jetlag of course.

But then again, perhaps there’s a little more of her laconic head housekeeper character Mrs Hughes in Phyllis Logan than we’d suspected? “Well, I can be a bit snippy, a bit terse,” she offers, smiling. “But only to my nearest and dearest.” Would Kevin (actor husband Kevin McNally) agree with that? “Probably,” she says, dryly.

Logan’s thoughts on the Mrs Hughes comparison continues: “She was written down in the script, of course, but I like to think I gave her the legs to run. But when you play a character there are always elements of you in that person. You can’t completely step away from yourself.”

Downton is a phenomenal television success story. The series, which began eight years ago featuring the Crawley family and their legion of servants, began with the Titanic going down, and has covered plague, rape, murder, interwoven with romance, often crossing the class barriers.

Logan’s character was voted No 1 Ever in a 2014 Radio Times poll; no mean feat given the subdued nature of Mrs H, a woman to whom flashes of excitement are to be discouraged as much as relations with those upstairs.

Yet, the original script described Elsie Hughes as a Yorkshire woman. Logan reveals it was only when the casting directors heard the Scot’s natural voice that they asked her to read in her own accent. “I was happy when she was cast as a Scot. She had that Scottish bluntness and I felt right because I have known women like her.”

During the six series of Downton, Mrs Hughes negotiated Branson the chauffeur’s assassination attempt, Carson’s Spanish flu and helped Ethel with her illegitimate Upstairs son, Charlie. The psychologist with an apron also sorted out Thomas’s homosexuality. And although she fell for Mr Carson, (or at least lurched slightly in his direction) it took a bit of persuasion before she agreed to a “full” marriage, where he would make occasional visits downstairs.

“We all know those types,” grins Logan. “But what’s nice about her is she does have a sense of humour. And she’s quite forward thinking. She’s a republican, and has a socialist bent to her for sure.”

Does Logan have left-wing sympathies, considering her late father, an engineer, was a trade unionist? She deflects by referring to Mrs Hughes. “She was of a different type. She knew people were thrown into a caste system but had to make the best of it.”

Yes, but what about you, Phyllis? Did you feel working class containment in Johnstone, where most people’s horizons didn't stretch beyond Rootes car plant or the local carpet factory (where John Byrne took inspiration for The Slab Boys – Logan appeared in the sequel, Cuttin’ A Rug)?

“You just accepted the way things were,” she says, sounding ever so Mrs Hughes. “I never thought I’d break out and become posh. But I did think it would be nice to spread my wings a little.”

Just a little? She smiles and adds: “But I didn’t audition for some of the big London drama schools. I thought that was a step too far for me at the time so I went to Glasgow.”

Not a risk taker. Not a wild child. But very, very good at what she does. Despite her careers teacher declaring the teenager was wasting her time with acting, Logan picked up the James Bridie Gold Medal at the RSAMD. On leaving she landed work at Dundee Rep and worked continuously throughout the 1970s and 1980s with the likes of Borderline Theatre. Real talent was revealed. Yet few would have expected her to land the role of Britain’s most popular posh totty in dodgy antiques dealer series Lovejoy.

Aged 30 in 1986, Logan walked into an audition room as Lady Felsham. Logan’s Lady had a cut-glass accent, spoke authoritatively of renaissance art and invoked a world of stately homes and castles. But in reality, Logan’s only castle connection was her housing scheme, Johnstone Castle, where the recognised art on living room walls was a classic Sara Moon picture. This new cut-glass accent had somehow emerged from a world where ginger bottles were a form of currency.

Logan’s clever deception (aided by being forced to speak RP at drama college) revealed that you don’t have to be a loud extrovert to be emboldened enough to convince you are actually blue blooded: you just need to be talented. “I can’t believe looking back now that 20 million were watching us on Sunday nights. The show was so huge.”

Many other drama successes followed such as Mike Leigh’s Secrets and Lies. But did she feel Downton would be the massive success it became? “I read the scripts and loved them. And when I heard Maggie Smith and Hugh (Bonneville) and Penelope (Wilton) were on board it looked good. Then we signed an option for three series but there was always the chance it could have gone down the pan after one.” Her voice lifts. “And then six came along.”

Did this kill the fear, the insecurity that comes with being an actor waiting to be hired? She answers indirectly. “It used to be that you always knew that when one job was finishing another would be on its way. But that seems to be far less the case these days. That’s why it was great having that guarantee of six months' work each year. And each time it was like going back to school after the summer holidays and seeing your friends.”

Logan seems the worrying type, so why volunteer for a life of insecurity? “And rejection,” she adds in soft voice. “And I’ve had a certain amount of that.” She thinks for a second and makes a dramatic statement that seems out of character. “You know, I wanted this part in Downton so badly I think I might have given up [acting] had I not got it. I don’t often feel that. Usually I have a what’s-for-you-will-not-go-by-you outlook.”

She laughs and allows herself a little flightiness: “Somehow I felt, ‘This is mine! It’s meant to be.'" She then contains herself and becomes more Mrs Hughes. “No, I felt I’d like to give it a bash.”

Logan certainly didn’t get into acting for the glory. She doesn’t seem to be consumed by ambition or the fripperies of acting success. She had genuinely forgotten she’d won a Bridie Gold Medal, and mention of her Bafta for Another Time, Another Place, (the 1983 Scotswoman falls for Italian POW tragic romance) doesn’t swell her head in the slightest. What she does want, however, is to act. All the time. In all the best roles.

“I just wanted to be the best I could. To find the truth in every role. You don’t think about awards. Acting has been the only thing that remotely interested me since I played Mary in the Nativity play at primary school. Then at Johnstone High I’d join every club that had anything to do with acting and take trips to the Citizens'. I’d be in any play going, starting in the chorus and working my way up to playing Polly in the Boyfriend.”

But, of course, there have been set backs. “My dad [David] didn’t live to see me graduate, [he died, aged 59] and that was a real shame but my mum would come and see all my shows.”

Logan’s voice becomes more upbeat as she tells of how her mum and aunt landed roles in one of her films, when the actress appeared in a drama set in Spain, The Legendary Life of Ernest Hemingway (1989). “My mum Betty and my auntie Margaret came on set to have a look around, and they were asked if they wanted to be extras. They loved the idea of this, and were dressed up as posh ladies with big frocks and they had all the make-up done.

“But it was a night shoot, and the second night as they should have been getting picked up they declared, ‘Oh, pet, we don’t think we’ll bother tonight.’ I thought ‘Have you never heard of continuity? Do you know what this means? I had to tell the director they’d both eaten something dodgy.”

Betty and Margaret clearly weren’t captivated by the acting world. Logan herself once claimed she wasn’t captivated by actors. She said she wouldn’t have one in the house, that they were vain people. But then she met McNally while filming the 1993 miniseries Love and Reason and they fell in love and married.

“What I meant was I’d never get together with one,” she backtracks, grinning. “But in a way it makes real sense. We know the business. And we can help each other. Recently, Kevin was doing three episodes of the missing Dad’s Army scripts (playing Captain Mainwaring) and I read lines with him every night. It meant I got to play every other character in the cast.” McNally must have found it a delight, given his wife’s talent. (She slips into a remarkable Clive Dunn/Corporal Jones voice. “Don’t panic, don’t panic Mr Mannering.”

But if all that sounds a little perfunctory, Logan, who lives in west London, once declared: “There’s an excitement in discovering that you can still fall in love when you’re an ancient old trout.”

There’s little doubt the relationship really works. But the Mrs Hughes cross voice emerges when I ask if Pirates of the Caribbean star McNally, who has appeared in Downton in the past, playing Horace Bryant, has a role this time around? “No, he does not,” she says emphatically, (subtext: he’s had his shot and should be thankful, a sentiment which sits neatly against her husband’s quote of the time: “Phyllis said it was like take-your-husband-to-work day.”

Was she a bit territorial? “Yes,” she smiles. “I was thinking: ‘You don’t get me a part as Johnny Depp’s mother and take me to the Caribbean. So why are you here?’”

What of the Downton film, set in 1927, two years after the end of the series? It transpires tiaras and silver will be polished until they sparkle. “We get a visit from the King and Queen (George V and Queen Mary) and there’s a bit of friction between the Downton team and the Royal household staff. Mr Carson (now on gardening duty) is begged by Lady Mary to help out. The cavalry ride into town!”

And, of course, there will be lashings of scandal, romance and intrigue “that will leave the future of Downton hanging in the balance,” says the official movie site.

But what of the future for Phyllis Logan? Despite running up continuous film and TV series, success, from Taggarts to Rab C Nesbitt, from the more recent The Good Karma Hospital to Girlfriends – and attracting great crits for her West End role earlier this year as Patricia Highsmith in Switzerland – she certainly has Elsie Hughes’ worry gene.

Logan’s run, she feels, could end at any minute.

“It’s a snakes and ladders life,” she says in Mrs Hughes' tones. “Your career can be going really well and suddenly the snake appears. But I guess I’ve been lucky because I persevered.”

Nonsense, Phyllis. Talent kicked in. You don’t get Bridies and Baftas and almost continuous work for perseverance. “It’s lovely of you to say so, but I’m not sure that’s really the case.”

Downton Abbey is out on September 13

[ofaphrvdite]

— @aureliuswrites​​ ASKED 📱ant and ana ig

what was my muses 5 last sent texts yours?

[ anya ]: we’re doing a whole rising fashion stars thing and obv i put your name forward. you free for a shoot around the 15th? we’ll also need to do a 73 questions.😘 [ anya ]: i’m doing a dinner next week, don’t be afraid but i am cooking. you should come! [ anya ]: ginger and turmeric will kick that jetlag in the ass! make sure you take a vitamin c before you fly 💖 [ anya ]: super last minute but our idiot sitter got food poisoning and literally everyone else is busy but can you watch nathalie? two hours MAX [ anya ]: 🚨🚨🚨 found gluten free crepes!!!!!!! 🚨🚨🚨

what was my muses 5 last unsent texts yours?

[ anya ]: could you talk to marguerite for me? just find out what it is about me that’s so insufferable to her? [ anya ]: thank you for accepting me.  [ anya ]: we’ve known eachother for such a long time you really are my family now so if you ever need anything, or someone to talk to, just call. or come over. anytime. [ anya ]: what are you doing with adelaide? you deserve to find someone you really care about. if you keep faking it, you’ll exhaust yourself. [ anya ]: do you think my family is too much sometimes? is that what it is?

what was my muses last snapchat to yours?

[ snapchat to the ant ]: tell me i didn’t SLAP with the party theme this year

what my muse saved your number as?

🐜🥐

what contact photo my muse has set for yours?

what ringtone my muse has set for yours?

scales and arpeggios by the aristocats

how many times my muse has called your this week?

twice.

how many calls has my muse missed from yours?

once.