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psychovigilantewrites · 5 years ago

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Don’t Call Me That Pt. 2

Wordcount: 10,129

A/N: I thought this part 2 would total up to 10k words, but when it hit 10k, I realised that I was only about 65 percent done. So based on the responses I got from tumblr, I decided to publish this first and then conclude the story later on!

TW: mentions of r*pe, mentions of torture, mentions of drugging someone (??) , mental breakdowns, vulnerability, descriptions of anxiety

Also, HERE’S MY FAV MEMES!! I’m so sorry that I can’t tag respective meme creators, because I saved them on my phone and some of them I forgot to include your usernames!! I’M SO SORRY!!! And honest to god is wear there were more but i must have lost them im so sorry im so incompetent lmao

memeesss

You glanced at your phone.

It had already been a week in Hawaii with your friends, and Jason still hadn’t texted you.

Well, you should have expected it, really. Jason was a traumatised, mentally ill man who had been locked away for two years.

Of course he wouldn’t text you first.

You had contemplated texting him over the past few days, typing in an array of messages ranging from a simple “hey” to a whole paragraph, and deleting all of it without hitting send. Did he even switch the phone on? Was he surfing the internet? Or was the phone still there on the shelf where you had left it.

It was driving you crazy.

“Do you have a boyfriend we don’t know about?” a voice called.

You looked up and squinted at the man who was standing up, looking down at you. You were sitting on the beach, a little further away from the ocean where your friends were.

“What are you talking about?” you asked as Alex plopped down next to you.

“You’ve been fidgety the whole time,” he pointed out, combing back his dark shoulder length hair with his fingers, getting sand in them. “We’re on a private beach, and you’ve been fussing over your phone. Who are you talking to?”

“No one,” you grumbled truthfully.

“The girls have been gossiping,” he gestured to the two other girls playing in the water. Your closest friends. It was four of you in that inseparable group.

“Of course they have,” you groaned, “Tell them to SAY IT TO MY FACE, COWARDS!”

You shouted at them, earning you grins and middle fingers from the distance.

“They’re saying you’re in love with someone,” he chuckled, “But they always say stupid shit like that without any evidence. But sometimes, a girl’s intuition is just right, ya know?”

“Stop beating around the bush, Alex,” you rolled your eyes at him despite knowing he couldn’t see past your sunglasses. “No, I’m not in love. I’m just waiting for a text that might never come.”

“Why don’t you text him first?”

“Because it’s not as simple as that!” you flailed your arms, “He’s… complicated. I can’t just text him anything.”

“Girl, unless he’s Mr. Nottingham, or related to you, then it really isn’t that complicated,” he joked.

“Ugh,” you groaned again, falling back onto the cloth you spread out. “Fine. I’ll text him.”

“Atta girl,” Alex grinned, “I’m gonna head back in the water. Join us after. Please?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved.

Opening the text window for what had to be the thirtieth time, you finally decided to text him.

You: Miss me yet?

Staring intently at the small ‘sent’ below your message bubble, you waited for it to turn to ‘delivered’.

“Yes!” you hissed. It meant that Jason had indeed switched on the phone.

But after twenty minutes you realised that it didn’t matter if Jason switched on the phone if he didn’t want to talk to you. Cursing to yourself, you decided to join your friends in the water, hoping it’ll distract you from checking your phone every five minutes for a text message that might never come.

After an hour of actually spending time with your friends, all four of you returned to the villa, your mood elevated. Checking your phone, you could have jumped for joy when you saw not one, but four consecutive texts in a row.

Jason: Duck off. Jason: What the duck Jason: WHY CANT I SAY DUCK Jason: I DUCKING HATE THIS

You couldn’t let out a string of giggles.

“Oooh, lover boy texted you back, huh?” Alex peeked over your shoulder. “Gimme, I wanna mess with him.”

He snatched your phone from your hands, surprisingly swift and smooth for a civilian, raising it way above his head so you couldn’t reach it and opened the camera.

“Alex-!”

He threw his other arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his bare chest, crushing you before you could tackle him down. He snapped a picture and sent it.

You froze in horror.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” you yelled.

“Relax, I was just messing around,” he gave your phone back to you.

“You don’t- you don’t understand, you fucking asshole!” you screamed.

“I- I’m sorry,” Alex stuttered, surprised by your reaction. “I was just-”

“Fuck off!” you snapped.

Panicking, you saw the little notification below the picture turning from Received to Read.

No. No, no, no, no.

This was bad.

You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason by sending him photos of your activities, thinking that he might react badly to the sudden surplus of familiarity and sense of being close to someone. Now you were worried that he might start to push you away in fear, reverting back to how he was before, and months of progress would have been all for nothing.

He would probably start swearing at you, or worse- switch off the phone and reject any form of communication completely. You hurriedly texted a reply.

You: I’m so sorry! I didn’t send that, my friend was just messing around.

Expecting the worst, you braced yourself for the inevitable. Instead, he sent you:

Jason: Who the hell is that guy?? Jason: Why are you in your underwear??

Your mouth hung open as you stared in shock at the screen. Because you took so long to recover from the shock, he sent you another message.

Jason: ???

Snapping out of it, you texted back.

You: That’s just my friend. Sorry about that! And I’m not in my underwear, it’s a bikini! I’m in Hawaii.

You waited for him to reply, but ten minutes of you sitting anxiously on the turquoise sofa in the middle of the villa listening to the waves of the beach outside from the open doors passed by, and he still hadn’t.

Perhaps he’s busy- wait. There’s no way Jason would be busy. You tried to coax him into a conversation.

You: You can turn off your autocorrect if you want to swear without hassle. Go to your Keyboard settings.

You plopped your phone on the empty seat next to you and dried your hair.

“Ugh, come on!” complained Natalie, fully clothed and washed, walking towards the open concept kitchen from her room. “You’re getting sand everywhere!”

“Woops, my bad,” you grinned.

“There’s a shower outside on the porch for a reason you know,” she flipped her blond beach waves at you, looking through the fridge.

Alex stood quietly at the kitchen island, now scared to say anything.

You rolled your eyes. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Okay, I promise!” he grinned.

Ding.

Jason: fuck. fuck. fucking fuck. Jason: found it. You: Proud of you, man.

You went to your room and showered, then dried off and put on fresh clothes while waiting for Jason to reply.

Of course, he never did.

Groaning, you had to remind yourself that he was not used to human interaction, and texting would come unnaturally to him. Which meant that you had to be the one to keep the conversation going.

You: Do anything interesting since I left?

You saw him typing almost immediately this time.

Jason: no.

Of course not.

You: Have you been eating properly? Jason: yeah.

God, it was so difficult. You were in the middle of typing something when he replied again.

Jason: yoire not my mom Jason: yoire Jason: YOIRE Jason: FUCK WHY CANR I TYPE

You felt guilty for laughing, but you did anyway.

You: Now that you switched off autocorrect, it won’t correct your typos and misspells anymore. Jason: i fucking knw that. Ive been gone for two yeard not twenty. You: Then why do you sound like a grandpa? Jason: BECAISE YOU GAVE ME A FUCKINF IPHONE!! I USED AN ANDROID!!

Now you were really laughing out loud, so you sent him a GIF of a woman rolling her eyes.

Jason: wtf you can send gifs throug text now?? You: Welcome to 2020, my dude. Jason: im not your fucking dude

Typing a reply, Jason interrupted you once again.

Jason: teach me how to do that

Smiling widely, you found that you couldn’t wait for the next week to pass by so you could go back and see him.

***

“How’s Jason?” you asked the minute you reached the Cave computers, panting from the run down.

“Wow, hello to you, too,” Dick chuckled, spinning towards you on the wheeled chair.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and Bruce and Dick were in front of the computers, discussing a case that had connections to Bludhaven Police Department.

Gone for two weeks, you had a lot to catch up on.

“According to Alfred, he’s doing well,” Bruce answered, “Even started to ask for seconds last week. Now Alfred has been making portions for two.”

“He asked? For seconds?” you gasped. “How?”

“He left a note on the tray two days after you left. He’s been making meal requests, too. Texts Alfred in the morning to let him know.”

“Texted?!”

“Alfred slipped his number on the tray in case Jason wanted anything specific.”

“I slipped mine as well, but he hasn’t texted me yet,” Dick pouted.

“When did he start texting?” you ignored Dick.

“Last Sunday.”

So the same day you started texting him, then.

“He hasn’t texted me,” Dick sighed, looking dejected like a kid who was told Disneyland blew up.

“He’ll come around, Dick,” you offered him a smile, “I mean- he’s already texting Alfred!”

“Yeah,” he lamented.

“Okaaay, nice talk. I’m gonna go see him now, bye.”

You ran to the box, but stopped right before you opened the internal door. After checking your hair with your phone camera, you tried to stifle the butterflies in your stomach.

Ugh, you were so fucked.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.

“Yeah,” Jason’s muffled grunt answered you.

Pushing it open, your eyes immediately went to the bed only to find that he wasn’t lounging around reading a book like you expected. Instead, your mouth dropped open when you saw him on the floor, doing push ups.

Shirtless.

Jason had changed drastically during the two weeks you were gone. You noticed that he had definitely gained weight, as well as muscle mass.

“Uh, wh-what are you..?”

He stood up, and you swore your heart skipped a beat.

His muscles were much more prominent and defined now, and he looked like he was going to achieve Dick’s physique if he kept it up for another month or two.

“Welcome back,” he simply said before taking gulps from a water bottle you definitely had not seen before.

“Thanks,” you walked over and sat on his bed, “I’m glad to see that you decided to start taking care of yourself again.”

“What, this? This isn’t for me.”

“Huh?” you cocked your head in curiosity.

“I… I lost a lot of muscle mass. My body- it isn’t how it used to be,” he frowned, “And I can’t have you lusting over it when it’s not at its peak.”

“What- what do you-?” you stammered, suddenly getting hot.

Jason merely smirked and then continued his push ups.

You watched as his developing muscles rippled, a thin layer of sweat making his skin glisten in the light. It was amazing how he had progressed so much in such a short period of time. You guessed that he must have just been occupying his days by working out.

No wonder he’s been asking for seconds.

“Enjoying the view?” Jason breathed, pausing with his arms straightened, his head angled upwards towards you.

“No, shut up,” you looked away.

“Here, be useful,” he started, “Sit on my back.”

“What?”

“I’ve gotten used to my own body weight, I need extra resistance,” he elaborated, “Come on, sit on my back.”

“But it’s all sweaty,” you whined, pretending to protest. Definitely pretending- for the sake of your own dignity.

You got up and went over towards him anyway.

Carefully, awkwardly, you sat on his back as you would a park bench. You rested your palms flat against his sticky skin to stabilise yourself. Suddenly, he dipped down without warning, earning a soft squeal from you.

“Fuck, you’re heavy,” he strained, but continued to do the push ups. He was shakier, struggling with the weight, and after twenty-five, he paused. “Okay, I think I’m done.”

But before you had the chance to get off him, he suddenly stood up, throwing you off his back to have you fall on the floor on your ass.

“Jason, you assho-” you clapped your hand over your mouth, realising what you had just said.

Oh, no. Oh, fuck.

He stood towering over you, his jaw clenching as he stared you down with his cold, blue eyes.

“I’m so sorry! I forgot! It was a reflex and-”

“Whatever. I don’t care anymore,” he rolled his eyes, reaching for his bottle.

You blinked. Then scrambled to your feet.

“You don’t care anymore?” you repeated slowly.

“I don’t care if you call me that,” he huffed.

That made your heart swell and melt at the same time.

“I got used to your voice,” he mumbled, expression changing as he looked away. He frowned, as if he was angrily staring at a distant object.

You had just guessed that he didn’t like to be called his name because of a sense of familiarity, but now you were thinking that there was much more to that than what you had originally thought.

“So, I can call you… Jason?” you tested.

“Yeah, call me whatever you want,” he sat on his bed, looking up at you.

You smiled, thankful that you had finally crossed that bridge. “You know, I could get some workout stuff for you? Weights, bands, that bar thing that you can put at your door frame for pull ups…”

“You’d like to see that, huh?” he smirked.

“You flatter yourself too much,” you scoffed.

“How was Hawaii?” he changed the subject all of a sudden.

“It was fun. Beach was great, locals were great, loved the vibe- what are you doing?”

Jason had stood back up and started to walk closer and closer to you, getting all up in your space like a predator finally cornering its prey. You kept on taking steps back until your ass hit the edge of the desk.

Nowhere else to run, your heart started hammering. He leaned in, his hands resting on the desk on either side of your body, trapping you against the table and himself. You looked up and gulped. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his bare skin.

“Are you afraid of me?” he muttered lowly.

“Why would I be afraid of you?” you whispered.

“You tell me,” he said.

“Well, I’m not afraid of you,” you stated.

“Oh really?” he raised an eyebrow. Then, you felt his hand grip your wrist tightly, pressing down on your skin with his fingers. “Your pulse is very fast for someone who’s not afraid of me.”

“It’s because you’re all up in my space!” you argued.

“Didn’t look like you mind when your friend,” he snarled the word, “was all up in your space.”

“My friend? What- oh,” you widen your eyes in realisation, “You mean Alex.”

“Is that his name?”

“Alex is just a friend, nothing more. He’s just someone I’m close to,” you reassured him.

Which then made you think about why you were reassuring him.

“Oh, you were definitely close to him,” Jason growled.

“Wait- are you… jealous?” a smile creeped your lips.

He scowled at you for a few moments, and you could see the little tics in his expression that said he was annoyed. The flared nostrils, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching, the very slight twitches at the corner of his left eye.

“No,” he finally said, taking a step back from you. “I’m going to shower. Since you couldn’t stop staring at me, the invitation is still open for you to join.”

“You know, I’m starting to think that maybe I prefer it when you were broody instead of this. Please go back to your depressive mental state,” you sarcastically replied.

Jason barked out an actual laugh. Though his laugh was odd, like someone who’s only now discovering that humans were indeed capable of laughter, you found comfort in it. It was no longer hysterical and devoid of humor. He was getting better, learning to embrace a connection with someone, and it made you extremely happy.

“Maybe I should,” he answered with a cheeky glint in his eye, “Then that way you can give me more sponge baths.”

He left you alone in his room, flushed and at a loss for words.

***

“I find it very odd that people would yell ‘Batman!’ when they realise you’re there,” you rambled while climbing out of the Batmobile.

You were absolutely drenched from the downpour that had been going on all night. It was 4 am on a friday night and you had just returned from patrol.

Bruce took off his cowl immediately, revealing tired eyes despite the relatively slow night.

“It’s like they’re saying ‘Look at me! I’m here! Please knock me out or hang me upside down from the-’ Bruce?”

Bruce had stiffen, staring at something behind you. You turned around and was shocked to see Jason in the mid-distance, sitting on the ground outside the black box that was his room, leaning against the cool metal.

He himself was staring intently at Bruce, not even sparing you a glance.

You looked back and forth between the two men, sensing a high tension silent conversation.

Then, Bruce’s eyes relaxed and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly in that hardly-there-Bruce-smile.

He gave Jason one stiff nod of understanding, then walked away to the computers at the other end of the cave, leaving you alone with his son.

Jason relaxed as you walked over to him, wringing your hair to squeeze out all the excess water.

“Aw, you waited up for me,” you teased, standing in front of him with your hands on your hips, grinning away.

“Fuck off,” he snorted, “I was bored.”

You noticed him clenching his jaw as he looked at you from top to bottom, eyes lingering longer on the ‘R’ on your left breast.

Ah, it was his first time seeing you in your uniform.

His uniform.

Suddenly, you felt like an imposter in those colors and had the strong urge to rip the uniform off.

You wanted to say something, but Jason beat you to it.

“There were times in that shit hole where I wanted to burn that uniform off my skin,” he grit, “Kept on thinking to myself. I wish I never became Robin. I wish I never met Bruce Wayne.”

Your heart shattered at his confession. It was extremely rare for him to bring up anything related to his two year torture, and the previous times were never in such detail.

Realising you needed to say something, you opened your mouth. “I’m so-”

“Don’t,” he cut you off, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Yes, sometimes you knew that he just wanted you to listen.

You nodded silently and went to sit next to him on the floor.

“It… suits you,” he forced out.

“Hmm?”

“The uniform. It suits you. More than it ever suited me,” he grumbled.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think your ass would look quite nice in green,” you joked, nudging his shoulder with your own.

He chuckled deeply, nudging you back even harder- hard enough for you to lose your balance and topple sideways, earning another breathy laugh from Jason.

***

Another month passed by, and you found yourself falling deeply for Jason- much to your dismay. You knew Jason wasn’t ready for any kind of intense emotions, and that it would take a very long time before he was.

So you swallowed your emotions down, stifling them and hoping it would go away.

The two of you had developed a pleasant friendship, often bickering and joking around, with Jason teasing you about your obvious physical attraction to him.

He also now occasionally waited outside his cube for you to come back after patrol, never really venturing too far from it, and still avoiding contact with both Bruce and Dick. Only you and Alfred had the privilege to speak to him.

Even then, sometimes you would visit his room but only getting a “I’m not feeling it today. Please leave.”

Understandingly, you would nod silently and leave him alone. You knew he still had his bad days, sometimes not eating his meals.

But mostly, he was getting better, both mentally and physically.

With nothing much to do the whole day, Jason was now obsessed with working out and bulking up. He now had a few simple equipment in his room- mostly weights.

You figured that it was a coping mechanism for him, a healthy outlet to channel all his rage and negative emotions into.

But come on. He was getting even hotter and it was making it extremely difficult for you to stop yourself from checking him out, fantasizing about him when he wasn’t around. Still, you couldn’t complain. Even though he hadn’t reached Dick’s size yet, he was very near to it, and his naturally bigger body frame and build made up for the still developing muscles.

Hell, he was now sporting a six pack.

But you knew that he was still not as well as you hoped he would be. The bloodshot eyes he had was proof that he doesn’t sleep well- and you soon found out why.

It was a little past midnight on your night off from patrol, and you were using your break in the best way you could think of- by sleeping. Something woke you up that night.

A soft knock on your door.

You frowned, eyes still closed, wondering who it was.

Bruce would usually knock twice. Strong, clear, and with purpose. Dick would start pounding rapidly on your door, annoying you intentionally. Alfred would give three soft knocks followed by a ‘Miss?’

Your eyes flew open. There was only one other person in the manor.

Throwing your covers aside, you jumped out of bed and rushed to the door to open it.

Jason stood outside your door in the dim lights of the hallway, frowning and running his fingers nervously through his messy dark hair. He was wearing a t-shirt with boxers, standing awkwardly.

“Jason?” you hated how your voice sounded so sleepy. You cleared your throat. “Are you okay? Would you like to come in?”

He nodded silently, and you made way for him to enter before closing the door behind you.

“Sit on the bed,” you told him while jumping back into yours, sitting up cross legged.

The bed dipped when he sat on it, copying your motion and crossed his legs.

You waited for him to say something, your eyes straining to catch his in the dark. But he just remained silent, staring into space and avoiding your eyes.

“How did you know this was my room?” you asked, starting with a light topic.

“Only one that was locked. I already know where everyone else sleeps,” he explained.

“That’s right,” you realised, “I tend to forget that you’re probably even more familiar with the manor than I am.”

“Did you know there’s an old dumbwaiter in Bruce’s room?” you saw him smirk from the shadows that was casted on his face, “I used to hide in there, waiting to catch him off guard.”

“What? Why?”

“Dick and I, we had a bet,” he recalled the memory, “Whoever gets to surprise Bruce first would owe the other a special favor. Only rule was that we had to have it on video as proof.”

You appreciated that moment, the first time he ever spoke about both Dick and Bruce as a fond memory.

“I won, by the way,” he continued, “But- I forgot to press record on my phone.”

“Oh, no,” you groaned for him.

“Yeah, and Dick refused to believe me,” he chuckled, “That old man didn’t want to admit it either. But I swear- the look on his face when I jumped out while he and some model were going at it- priceless.”

Your jaw dropped, and then you burst into a fit of laughter, tears filling your eyes.

“You- you- you jumped out on him while he was having sex?!” you squealed.

“Yeah,” he grinned, “I didn’t even care that it sort of scarred me, because I managed to catch Batman off guard.”

The both of you laughed, his deep voice mingling with your own on that quiet night.

“I’m glad you’re here, Jason,” you smiled warmly at him.

But then, his smile fell.

“I hate my name now.”

“I’m sorry,” you began, “You said it was okay to call you that, so I-”

“No, it’s fine,” he started running his fingers through his hair again, “It’s just- I don’t know.”

“You can tell me anything,” you reassured, “It won’t leave this room. I promise.”

He looked at you, worry in his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Yeah.”

You waited for him to begin.

He took a deep breath. “I’ve been having nightmares. Almost every night. It’s always the same one.”

“You want to tell me about it?” you prompted him after waiting for him to continue.

“I hate my name because he said it a lot. Joker,” he scowled, “After repeatedly burning my skin for my name, it’s like that’s all he said. In that annoying, high pitched, sing-song voice of his. Jason, Jason, Jason. It made me hate my name. It made me hate hearing it.”

“I- I didn’t know how much time passed when I was in there,” he continued, “But, fuck. It was- it was hell. And the worst part was that I kept on waiting for Bruce. Waiting and hoping for him to find me and save me. I was so desperate. You- I-”

He choked on his words. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips tight.

You wanted to reach out to him, hug him, tell him that everything was okay now. But you didn’t. You waited for him to collect himself so he could finish telling you his story, just like how he wanted to.

“Anyway, I- despite all that,” he sighed, “That was the only thing that kept me sane. I kept on clinging onto the hope that he was out there, searching. And that helped for a while. Until- until that happened.”

He was breathing heavily now, fidgeting more. Jason was definitely getting increasingly agitated the deeper he went.

“Fuck,” he breathed, “Fuck.”

The moment you realised he was crying was when he let out a sniffle. You automatically took his hand in yours, squeezing it as a form of comfort.

“It’s okay,” you told him, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

“No,” he shook his head, “I need to. I have to. I can’t take this anymore. Keeping everything in, I feel like I’m about to fucking explode.”

“Okay, then take it slow,” you said, “No rush. Anytime you’re ready.”

He nodded, eyes still closed, as if he was afraid of letting you see him cry.

“One night,” he began, “I think- I don’t know what was different- but I think something went wrong for him. Or right? That’s how it was. Tormenting me was fun, but it was also an outlet for him. But at the same time when he was happy, he also tortured me. He came to me, and- injected me with some sort of drug. That never happened before. He made sure that my head was clear whenever he hurt me so that I could feel everything he did.”

“But- he did- and- immediately, I felt weak,” he continued, “I mean, I was already weak. But my head. It was cloudy. I remember everything clearly, but it was like my brain couldn’t process it, couldn’t communicate with my body. I felt like I was looking out through a window that was my eyes- like I was in someone else’s body, experiencing someone else’s moments.”

“He released me,” Jason’s voice was now barely a whisper. “He released me from the ropes, and I fell to the floor. And then he- he- fuck.”

He let go of your hand and started pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth on your bed. He was sobbing now, his shoulders jerking up in sharp intakes of breaths. The only thing you could do was to stay silent and hold back your own tears.

You rested your hand on his knee, giving him a textile connection with reality so he doesn’t fall into his own thoughts.

“You- he- he- ruh- ruhp-”

Your heart sank to your stomach in horror as you realised what Jason was trying to say. It was as if you were plunged into icy water, chills running down your spine at the true revelation of what he had gone through in that cursed cell.

“Oh, no,” you breathed.

“He pushed me down,” he choked, “Pushed me down and climbed on top. I- I couldn’t even fight him. I was- I was conscious the whole time and I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t fucking do anything.”

Your tears were falling down now, both at the sight of Jason looking so vulnerable and fragile, and at his confession. Not being able to help yourself, you threw your arms over his neck and crashed into his hard body, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

His arms immediately wrapped around you, clutching you so hard it was painful as he buried his own face into your shoulder.

“And he kept on saying my name,” he said in muffled cries, “Jason, Jason, Jason. The whole fucking time. And- and I knew. He didn’t do it for pleasure. He did it to torment me. He- he didn’t even- he didn’t even finish.”

Jason sobbed into your skin for the next few minutes, his tears soaking through your night shirt. “But I did. Even though it was painful. Fuck, the pain was worse than anything he had ever done to me before. But- he- I- I fucking came.”

The both of you were sobbing now, his ragged breaths mingling together with your own on that quiet night.

His grip on you was tight, as if he thought that if he let go, you would disappear. So he clung onto you with all his might to keep you there with him as he recalled the horrific events.

“That's what broke me. I was so disgusted with myself. I hated myself. And he- he saw everything and- and laughed. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to choke and die. I’ve never seen him laugh like that. And I remember every single fucking moment of being helpless on that fucking floor while he- fuck. Fuck.”

“And then he left. He left me on the floor bleeding and I never saw him again. And I went fucking insane. I tried to kill myself so many fucking times. So many times, I lost count. That’s what I dream about every night. His laughs, and his ‘Jason, Jason, Jason’.”

And that was that. That was the story.

The end of Jason Todd.

The both of you cried long and hard that night in each other’s arms. Eventually, you both lied down on the pillows together, underneath the covers.

“Please don’t tell Bruce,” he whispered to you.

Your head was on his chest, his big arms wrapped around your waist, your legs tangled with his.

You smiled at that. Even with the trauma, even with the sense of abandonment he felt, he still wanted to protect Bruce from knowing the truth.

Because the both of you knew that the truth would kill him.

“I promise,” you whispered back.

And then the both of you fell asleep together.

***

“Has Jason been sleeping in your room with you?” Bruce asked you on one fine Saturday morning at breakfast.

It had been about a week and a half since the first time Jason knocked on your door and poured out his feelings to you.

“He gets nightmares,” you tried to explain.

He thought that if he told you everything, the nightmares would stop. But it didn’t. But he then realised that the only thing that made it better was sleeping by your side, having someone there to wake him up from living his own hell in a loop.

“And do the two of you… Just sleep?” Bruce frowned.

“Yes!” you widen your eyes in horror at the insinuation. “Bruce! Come on!”

“I know you have feelings for him, and I’m sure he does for you as well. But I don’t think something like that is what Jason needs right now,” he stated.

“Yes, I know!” you groaned at the thought having that kind of conversation with him, “Jesus, Bruce. I know. I’m just there to wake him up or help him fall back asleep. Nothing more.”

Bruce nodded, deep in thought. “Has he… told you? About what happened?”

You pursed your lips. “Yes.”

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“No.”

“Hmm,” his frown went deeper. “I understand. He will tell me when he is ready.”

“Exactly,” you smiled, hiding the fact that Jason may never tell Bruce what happened. Never the full story.

“He still hasn’t left the manor?”

“No,” you sighed, “I asked him if he wanted some fresh air. Just outside the main door, not even going down the steps. But he refused. Told me to, and I quote, ‘Fuck off’.”

“Well, he’s only just left the cave, and it’s just to your room,” Bruce thought out loud, “It’s still progress. Especially since he’s been talking to you about the past.”

“He only spoke about it one time,” you said, “And then never again.”

“I see,” he hummed, “And you’re okay with him sleeping with you?”

“Next to me, Bruce, sleeping next to me,” you corrected.

“Yes, and you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, it’s all good,” you assured him, “I can kick him out any time I want- but I don’t want to. He looks like a lost puppy sometimes.”

“An angry lost puppy.”

You chuckled at that and couldn’t agree more.

*** While Jason got the sleep he needed when he was next to you, it was counterproductive on your end. You had never been with anyone before, and definitely had not slept on the same bed with another man.

So to feel his body heat and breaths against your skin, his occasional light snores, it made your mind go on hyperdrive.

Most of the time, the two of you would just lie down, your back against his front, or your backs against each other, or both on your backs just staring at the ceiling- and talked. You would be the one talking the most, of course, about anything you could think of. You would tell him about your day, your patrols, something you read about online, or the current news.

But that one particular night during week three of him sleeping next to you, the two of you were silent. It wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but the kind of silence that was pleasant and was better described as a peaceful quiet.

You had your back pressed against his front and his arm was lazily draped over your waist. It was a cold night, and you were wearing just a tank top and pyjama shorts, snuggling under the covers that went up all the way to your nose.

Shifting a bit while snuggling comfortably, you pressed yourself against Jason’s body to get more of his heat. But then, you were met with something poking against your lower back.

“Ngh, please ignore that,” Jason huffed.

Oh.

For some reason, you forgot that Jason was a physically healthy male who was capable of having sexual thoughts and feelings. All this while, you thought you were the only one.

“Are you- uh- is that- uh-” you stuttered, feeling your face flush with heat.

Feeling your body suddenly alert with excitement.

“Yes, it’s my fucking penis,” he grit almost angrily, “What, never heard of an erection before?”

“Of course I have!” you argued rather defensively, “It’s just- I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“Why?” he demanded, “You didn’t think I could get it up or something?”

“No, of course not!” you denied, “It just didn’t cross my mind, that’s all.”

A pause. Then-

“Well,” he sighed, “You wouldn’t have been wrong.”

Your mind blanked for a second.

“What do you mean?” you asked softly.

“It’s my- fuck- it’s my first time,” he confessed.

“Your first time getting an erection?” you gasped.

“No, you idiot,” he snapped, “It’s my first time getting hard since… since… then.”

Oh. Oh, you were an idiot.

“It’s just- after that- even when I was downstairs, alone and safe, I- I couldn’t,” he told you, “I kept on thinking back to that time and- and I couldn’t. I found it disgusting.”

And immediately, like someone doused you in cold water, any feeling of horniness you had when you first felt his erection against you disappeared. You just felt so sad for him, but also angry. Angry that he had to go through all of that, and angrier that there was nothing you could do about it.

“So, why do you think you’re getting it now?” you asked. Perhaps talking about it in an objective manner would help guide him through his thought process.

“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, “You’re fucking pressing your ass against my dick, what did you think would happen?”

“Wait, what?” your eyes widen, “You’re hard because of me?”

“No shit,” he said, “You’re hardly wearing any clothes, too.”

You shouldn’t feel happy due to the circumstance and context, but there you were ecstatic that he found you attractive enough to pop a boner after so long.

“Fuck,” he sighed, suddenly pressing himself closer to you.

His hand that draped over your waist when to actually grip it. Then, then, he grinded his hard on against your ass.

“Mmm,” he rumbled deeply, “Feels good.”

There. That was it. You were once again flooded with the feeling of heat that pooled at your stomach, a tingling sensation started at your core. Feeling hot despite the low temperature of the night, you clenched your thighs together, needing the slight pressure.

“Yeah?” you whispered.

“Yeah,” he grinded on you again, and then unexpectedly let out a chuckle.

“What is it?” you smiled, loving it whenever you heard him laugh.

“I thought… For the longest time, I thought I was broken. That he broke me,” he revealed, “I thought I needed to get all Wingardium Leviosa on this little fucker.”

“Oh my God,” you laughed and groaned at the same time, “You’re so fucking embarassing.”

He laughed along with you and continued. “But now I’m hard and- and horny. You made me feel like I’m normal again. Like I’m sixteen again, and getting horny over everything.”

Sometimes, we take the normal things for granted. Food, shelter, clothes. In this case, it was a goddamned boner. In a way, Jason’s erection was symbolic- however funny it sounded. Getting your sexual appetite and need back after being so traumatised was a massive leap for many people who had experienced the same thing.

It meant that Jason was healing well.

“Does that make you happy?” you asked.

“Not particularly,” he admitted, “But I’m definitely not sad either.”

“That’s good enough for now, then,” you beamed.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

Another few moments of silence. You could feel it, his cock pushing into you. However tempted you were to push back and grind, you held yourself still.

“Uh, Jason?” you voiced.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to like, take care of it?” you asked, “I mean. My bathroom is available. Or- there are many empty rooms.”

“No,” he simply stated.

“No?”

“No.”

“It’s kinda poking into me.”

“Just ignore it.”

“Ignore it?” you gaped, “How can I ignore it? You’re literally pressing it into my ass.”

“Well, then do you want to take care of it?” he teased.

You couldn’t argue back. “Fine, I’ll ignore it.”

He chuckled. “I’ll turn around.”

When he made the movement, you suddenly grabbed him by the wrist. “No, it’s fine. Stay here.”

You expected him to tease you like he usually would, make a crass comment, or even a ‘fuck off’.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around you again in silence, and the both of you drifted to sleep.

***

“Do you think this color suits me?” Natalie asked, holding up a floral red dress.

The four of you were at the mall in Diamond District. Now that high school was over, and everyone would be going off to separate colleges in a few months, you tried to spend time with each other as much as you could.

“Any color suits you, Nat,” you rolled your eyes, “You’re hot stuff.”

“Jesus, it’s like you’re shoving it in our faces at this point,” Sarah added, flipping her brunette hair to the side, tight curls flowing down.

“Aw, you guys,” Nat pretended to tear up, “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!”

“Not again,” Alex groaned, “We’ve been through this so many times.”

“I’m gonna be so miserable without you guys,” Natalie continued on, ignoring Alex’s interruption.

“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged, “I think I’d enjoy New York. I can have pizza parties with the rats in my overpriced apartment.”

You chuckled at Sarah’s joke. Everyone was leaving Gotham except you. Deciding to continue with Robin, you opted for Gotham University- prestigious, old, and most importantly, close to home.

Your phone dinged in your pocket. You opened it to find texts from Dick.

Dick: OH MY GOD. Dick: I’m at the Manor. Dick: Was going to the Cave gym to work out. Dick: AND Dick: JASON IS HERE!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!

That was new. Jason would usually just use whatever basic equipment he had in his room to work out. The fact that he was at the Cave’s sparring area where all the other fancier work out equipment were was out of the ordinary.

You: Just go. See if he reacts. If he suddenly stiffens and just stay there not doing anything, then leave. If he continues on, then it’s okay to stay- but don’t initiate anything! Dick: OKOKOK

You waited anxiously for Dick’s update. All four of you were now walking towards the food court, but you hardly listened to their bickering. Forty-five minutes passed before Dick texted you again.

Dick: OMG HE TALKED TO ME You: What did he say? Dick: He asked me to pass him his towel. You: That’s all he said? Dick: IT’S PROGRESS OKAY!!

Dick was right. It meant that Dick was now the third person Jason had spoken to. Adding another person to his list of contacts was definitely progress.

You were happy for him.

You:Is he still there? Dick: Nah he left Dick: But WOW he’s looking good. He must have been really going at it. I think he might get bigger than me soon You: All he does now is work out. He’s obsessed. Dick: Yeah I can tell

You decided to leave it at that for now and try to concentrate on your friends, but Dick sent another message.

Dick: ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX?!?!

You spat out your drink, earning weird looks from everyone.

You: DICK!!!! WTF NO!!

Dick never replied.

***

“Can I ask you for a favor?” Jason asked, his voice breaking the silence of your dark room. The two of you were on your bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling.

“Of course,” you said. It didn’t matter to you what Jason asks for. He hardly ever asked for anything.

“Could you… Take me out tomorrow?” he requested, “If you’re not doing anything else, that is.”

“Uh, sure!” you nodded, surprised. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere,” he shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, okay,” you hesitated, “But- are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to go so far so quickly. Maybe you should start with just going to the backyard?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “I’m not a kid.”

“Okay then,” you agreed. “Tomorrow.”

You kept on glancing anxiously at him the next day as he climbed into the passenger seat of your car. He was quiet, but looked perfectly fine.

Switching the engine on, you drove out of the garage and out the large automatic gates. Trees soon surrounded the lonely road on both sides as you descended downhill into town.

“So where are we going?” he asked.

“I thought Robinson Park would be nice,” you said. It was around three in the afternoon, yet Gotham was dark as though the day was ending. It was cloudy, skies grey and wind blowing.

“You’re taking me to a park?” he scoffed.

“It’s more quiet than anywhere else,” you reasoned with him, “Less people. Spacious. Lots of greenery.”

“Whatever.”

Reaching the parking space of the park, you noticed that there were a few cars. Mothers and nannies liked to bring children out to the park around that time. Joggers and teens, college students and retired elderly seeking a little escape from the high rise buildings of concrete and glass.

You turned the engine off and proceeded to open the door, only then noticing Jason stiffening. Looking over to him, you saw that his eyebrows were pulled down in a deep frown, his jaw clenched, his hands in fists on his knees.

You didn’t say anything or make any comment. Leaning back into your seat, you waited until Jason was ready.

About five minutes passed before he took a deep breath, gave you a nod, and then opened his door.

The two of you walked along a path at the park, going deeper inside and further away from your car. There were a few joggers around, some tourists, and some teens taking photos. You saw a group of kids in the distance playing frisbee, and the others were walking their dogs.

An empty bench stood in the middle of the park, overlooking a clearing. You headed there, Jason following closely behind.

“It’s a bit gloomy today,” you pouted, “As if Gotham could be anything other than that, of course.”

You looked at Jason.

He looked like a scared dog being brought out for the first time.

His jittery knees were bouncing rapidly, his wide eyes were darting at every movement, his forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his breathing was heavy.

“Woah, woah,” you reached out to him, putting an arm on his back. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just listen to me talk, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he gulped.

“Try to calm your breathing,” you instructed, “Deep breaths, Jason. In… out… In… Out… Yeah, see that’s great.”

“Yeah,” he breathed, now calmer. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled warmly, “You’re doing just fine.”

“No, I’m not,” he strained, “I feel like everything is too big. Too vast. The fucking sky looks like it’s going to crash down on me and at the same time suck me up into a void.”

“And despite all you’re feeling right now, you’re not breaking down or anything, are you?” you tried, “You’re okay, Jason. This is progress.”

“I guess,” he sighed, “I’m just- I’m so used to having four walls and a ceiling. Now everything feels too big.”

“I understand,” you empathized, “Whenever you want to go back, just say the word. Or we can even just go and sit in the car. No problem.”

“Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” he stood up.

The walk back to the car was faster.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking pathetic,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.

“No, you’re not,” you reassured him, “That was great, Jason. Come on, it was your first time outside in two years and a half. Cut yourself some slack.”

“I’m so fucking broken,” he choked.

“Don’t say that,” you scolded, “You’re not broken. And you know what, even if you think you are, we can always fix it. Baby steps. Maybe we can do this once a week. We were out for like, ten minutes? Next week we’ll try fifteen. How’s that sound?”

“Twice a week,” he stated, “I just want to be normal again.”

“Okay, twice a week, then,” you agreed, “We’ll try again in a couple of days, okay?”

“Okay,” he paused, “Thank you.”

“No problemo,” you grinned, “Would you like to stay here a bit longer or shall we go back?”

“Let’s go back.”

“Wanna stop by the diner? You can wait in the car while I ask for a take-away?”

“...okay.”

***

Jason and you had gone out twice more. Once three days after the first time, and the other a week later. The second time he went out, he lasted twenty minutes, though you were sure he was being stubborn on his part. He looked like he was having a heart attack, but he insisted on staying until he hit the twenty minute mark.

The third time, he was much much better. Surprisingly so. The two of you sat down on that bench for half an hour, with you even leaving him alone for a few minutes to get two ice cream cones.

After that, you took him for a drive around the city. He seemed to be more comfortable in the car, so you went all the way from Robinson Park to Diamond District, and back to the manor.

Bruce seemed very pleased with your update, and you swore you could see him actually smile.

“Thank you,” he had told you. “You’ve done more than I could have ever asked of you.”

“It’s no problem, Bruce. Really,” you reassured him.

“I’m his father. He is my responsibility. It’s my fault he’s even in that state. I wish I could do more for him,” he said solemnly.

“The fact that you understand what he needs is more than helpful, Bruce,” you smiled, “Not many parents can do that. You understand and respect him. That’s enough for now.”

He simply nodded.

Ever since your scheduled outings, Jason had become more and more relaxed whenever he was in the manor. He now walked to the kitchen on occasion to mess with Alfred while he cooked meals for him, sometimes sitting in the living room lounging on the couch while reading. Most of the time, though, he was down at the sparring zone of the Cave, working out.

But at night, he would never fail to knock on your door.

And at that particular night, you found yourself in the same situation again while lying down on your side with your back to his front, for the fifth time.

“You officially have to stop calling yourself broken,” you grumbled, “Because that thing poking into my ass is definitely not broken.”

He chuckled lowly. “You complaining, sweetheart?”

Oh, and yes. Jason now had started calling you ‘sweetheart’. Why? You had no clue. It was just a thing that happened. The look on your face when he first slipped it in was probably a sight to behold.

“No shit, I’m complaining, Jason,” you groaned, “You haven’t jerked off, yet? Not even once?”

“Nope,” he popped the P, “I just… I don’t want to… I don’t want to come.”

You sighed, understanding the situation. He had been disgusted with himself because he had ejaculated when Joker… Well, that. You hated to even think about it, so you always shoved the thought away.

“But unfortunately for me, I still get super horny,” he rumbled deeply, pushing his hips into you even more, “So fucking horny.”

“And then I have to suffer,” you complained.

“I can assure you, blue balls are more painful than something poking into you,” he bickered.

“It’s not that…”

“Then?”

“I get horny too, come on man,” you whined, “I’m a hormonal teenage girl. What did you expect?”

“You get horny too?” he whispered after a pause.

“Uh, yeah,” you admitted nervously. Somehow, the mood shifted, and your heart started drumming against your chest.

“Because of me?” he asked.

“Not you specifically, I mean,” you tried to back track, “You’re… Your dick pressing up against me like that, I mean, come on, Jason.”

“Simple question sweetheart,” he told you, “You get horny because of me, yes or no?”

You gulped. “Yes.”

Fuck, why did you say yes? You could have lied. You could have not answered.

“Yeah?” he breathed. You noticed that his hand was now on your hip, right above the waistband of your sleeping shorts, drawing circles onto your skin with his thumb.

You were nervous. The butterflies in your tummy was not helping you calm down.

“Yeah,” you squeezed your eyes shut, as if to protect yourself from anything he had to say.

“Fuck,” he groaned, gripping your hips and grinding his hard on against your ass even more. And did it… Fuck, did it get even harder?

Afraid of saying the wrong thing, and also out of nervousness, you remained silent. Jason’s chest rose and fall against your back, his respiratory rate increasing. His pinky finger slid underneath the waistband, testing the waters before slowly slipping his hand into your pants.

He went in so slowly, as if waiting for you to tell him no, to rip his hand away, to wrench yourself away from him. But you never did, so he went in deeper, caressing the skin beneath your pelvic bone, his heat just burning into you.

“You’re not wearing any underwear,” he commented, voice suddenly husky.

“I don’t wear them to bed,” you informed him.

“You mean to tell me,” he growled, “That all this while I’ve been sleeping next to you and you never had your panties on?”

“It’s more comfortable that way,” you mumbled.

“Jesus Christ,” he cursed. “Thank God I never knew. Would have been torture, and trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Jason,” you gasped.

“It’s true,” he said, “Damn, sweetheart.”

He went lower, closer to your center.

Your core was tingly, small pulses of electricity buzzed through your body as Jason came closer and closer and closer and-

He slipped his hands between your closed thighs and cupped you.

“Mmm,” he moaned softly, “Warm. Fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy?” you laughed, even though you felt like screaming on the inside. Screaming for more.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, burying his face into your nape, taking a deep breath. “You smell nice.”

Oh, shit. You totally forgot about Jason’s aversion to strong smells.

“I’m sorry!” you quickly apologised, “I can switch to an unscented shampoo as well so it wouldn’t be too strong for you.”

“It’s fine,” he said, “I like it on you.”

He ground his hand into your center harder.

“Mmpf, Jay,” you breathed, “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’ve never touched a girl like this before.”

“Really?” you widen your eyes in surprise.

“I was kept in a cell for two years, I couldn’t exactly talk, let alone touch, anyone can I?” he quipped.

“Right.”

“Teach me,” he said.

“What?” you whispered despite knowing what he meant.

A pause of silence. A deep intake of breath, a slow exhale.

“Teach me how to touch you,” he purred.

Fuck, you felt like exploding.

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“Yes. If you… If you want to.”

Your mind quickly tried to analyse the situation. Bruce had specifically said that Jason didn’t need any complicated matters in the relationship. It made sense. You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason with any confusion or uncertainty.

But at the same time, you’ve been figuring out how Jason thought, bit by bit. He’s told you many times that he just wanted to be normal again, to feel normal, to do normal things. And this was something that was normal, that he should do, that he wanted to do.

And you knew that he probably would take the rejection even worse.

“O-Okay,” you agreed.

Slowly, you separated your thighs, raising the one on top and hooking it over his legs behind you. Due to your shift in position, you felt the minute Jason’s fingers dip slightly into your folds.

“So, uh, this is my first time with a guy as well,” you squeaked, “But I’ll try to guide you.”

You licked your lips.

“Uhm, well, I guess you can start by running a finger up and down between my- oh! Yes, just like that.”

His middle finger slid down to your opening, and then up again slowly. His movements were uncertain, brushing only slightly against your clit unintentionally.

It was different, having someone else touch you. Somehow, despite the inexperience, it just felt better.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped, “You’re so fucking wet. Do you usually get this wet?”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “No? Yes? I don’t know! I can’t feel it.”

“Shit.”

You let him play with you some more, his fingers sliding up and down, sometimes pressing against your fleshy parts, sometimes circling and gathering your wetness, sometimes just parting your lips. Hell, he even tapped the tips of his fingers on you randomly or brushed into your delicate fuzz. You knew he was just exploring, feeling you for the first time.

And that thought made you smile and sigh.

“Teach me how to make you feel good,” he rasped.

“Uh, so your fingers are wet, right?”

“Yeah. Because you’re leaking all over them.”

“Okay, good. Now find my clit. It’s slightly above your finger, okay, to the left a bit. More. Okay, there! Yeah, right there,” you sighed, finally feeling that delicious pressure.

“Here?”

He tapped your clit.

“Ah!” you moaned, “Yes- but don’t just- nevermind, just gently circle it. Clockwise.”

He obeyed, and hell since when did Jason just obey?

He circled you gently, like you said. But he also went so, so slow.

“Faster, Jay,” you panted.

He went faster, making you groan in pleasure.

“Like this, sweetheart?” he muttered, his voice low and cracking, and sexy, and husky. You’ve never heard him sound like that before, and it drove you wild.

“Yeah,” you breathed, “Yeah, just like that. Fuck.”

“Feel good?”

“So good, Jay. Press a little harder now- fuck. Fuck. Yes, perfect. Just like that.”

The pressure built as his fingers did their magic.

“You- you’re surprisingly good at that,” you stuttered, “You sure- mmm- you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“Despite what you think,” he husked in your ear, warm breath tickling you. “I’m very good at following instructions.”

“I can see that.”

“But I’m also good at improvising.”

“Wha- oh. Oh. Fuck! Jason! Oh my fucking god!”

He started pressing even harder, and going even faster, throwing away the slow build you were going for and instead pushing you towards orgasm fast and hard, as if he was determined to prove something to you.

“Feel good, sweetheart?” he purred, “You gonna come soon?”

“Oh my- fuck, yes! Fuck, don’t stop!”

“You want to come for me?” his deep voice rumbled.

“Yes!”

What the hell? When did he learn how to talk like that?

Because with the mix of his heavy pants, his low voice coaxing you, his barrage of pleasure at your clit, you felt the familiar tightening of your core. You threw one hand back and found his hair. Running your fingers through them, you gripped them tight and pulled.

You pulled on his hair as he forced the orgasm onto you.

“Oh my God. Jason, I’m gonna- fuck- I’m- fuck- ah!”

You moaned loudly as you felt your walls flutter, clenching over nothing as you reached your high.

“O-okay, stop, fuck,” your hand went from his hair to his wrist, stilling him. He withdrew his hands from your pants, and went to grip you tight again by the waist.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he groaned, grinding into you. You pushed your ass back, feeling his hardened length against your flesh in your post-orgasm bliss. “Jesus, that was so hot.”

“That was- yeah,” you giggled, “Fuck.”

His face was still buried in your neck. You could feel his lips on your skin.

“Uhm, I can, you know,” you sputtered, “Try to help you out?”

“It’s fine,” he breathed, body still tight against yours, “Just go to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” you asked again, feeling guilty that he didn’t get off. “I don’t mind.”

“I do,” he said, “It’s okay, sweetheart. That was great. I enjoyed that. I told you, I don’t want to come.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Go to bed.”

“Thank you, Jason.”

“Fuck, I’m so horny.”

“Jason,” you whined, “Really, I can help-”

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, “Goodnight.”

You pursed your lips.

“Goodnight.”

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #red hood #robin #jason todd imagine #dont call me that

1K notes · View notes

idnek83 · 4 years ago

Text

Aid - Chapter 7/13

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham

Tags: Alternate Universe - Island Mode, No Game Spoilers, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Grinding, Wet Dreams, Anal Fingering, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Anal Sex

Summary: Everyone is hot and half naked because of their beach vacation. Soda is horny and tries to do something about it. Gundham tries to help and does. It all gets a little out of hand.

Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Read on Ao3

This Chapter: Soda is getting very close to figuring out something he already knows. Soda does a lot of thinking, and a lot of sleeping. Hajime slaps him awake.

_____________________

Soda must have fallen asleep without realizing it.

There was a gentle knock on his door, followed by and equally gentle voice.

“My companion?”

His heart skipped a beat, his cheeks warmed, and his stomach dropped.

He wasn’t ready yet.

“Are you well?” Another knock. “Can you hear me, dear consort?”

Gundham sounded concerned, he couldn’t just ignore him.

“I-I hear you. Just… gimme a minute.” He swallowed. His voice came out raw and scratchy and he told himself it was from sleep.

Soda took a moment to run to the bathroom and check himself in the mirror. He looked like shit, but at least he was clean and didn’t look like he had just been crying.

Had he just been crying? What time was it?

He glanced at the window and saw that the sun was setting. Shit, he must have been out for hours.

He combed his hands through his hair and went to answer the door.

Gundham looked just as concerned as he had sounded.

“S-sorry man, guess I, uh, dozed off…” Gundham didn’t look any happier after hearing that.

“You failed to attend another of our meals, are you… sure you are well, my companion?”

Soda had to fight the urge to cry again. God he was acting like such a pussy today. And now Gundham just looked even more worried. Soda looked away.

Say something dumbass.

“Y-yeah, sorry man. I’m just-” a gross creep who might have feelings for you? A disgusting piece of shit who came while thinking about those maybe-feelings? “I’ve just had, like, a lot on my mind, I guess...”

Gundham raised a hand to his cheek, a gesture that was becoming quite familiar, and Soda let himself lean into it, just for a second. It can’t hurt if it’s just a second.

“I would be glad to listen, should you wish to air your troubles, dearest confidant.” Gundham’s thumb was stroking his cheek. It had been more than a second. He closed his eyes.

Soda’s thoughts were suddenly occupied by the things he had imagined while fingering himself; Gundham fucking him, and kissing him, and holding him, and loving him. Would Gundham really hear him out if he told him about all of that?

And what about everything after? He still wasn’t sure he could bring himself to really be with a guy, still wasn’t sure he could handle everything that came with that.

He opened his eyes.

Even if it was Gundham, he still wasn’t sure.

Soda moved his head away from Gundham’s hand and pretended he didn’t feel the same sense of disappointment he saw on Gundham’s face. He looked away, he was tearing up again.

“I-” He ran a hand through his hair and let out a shaky sigh. “I just, I dunno man, I think I…”

He couldn’t do this. Not now.

He needed to think more, needed to figure out what exactly it was he was feeling before he could know what he was willing to risk.

“I guess I just… need some more time, y’know?”

Gundham gave him a soft, sad smile and raised his hand as if to touch him again, before hesitating and crossing his arms instead. “Take all the time you need, dear consort. When you are ready, I will listen.”

They both stood in silence for a moment, Soda wasn’t sure what to say.

“I… procured some rations from our meal for you. I thought you may be ill and unable to…” Gundham trailed off awkwardly and lifted a plastic bag which presumably contained some food. Soda’s stomach grumbled and they both laughed a little as some of the tension in the air dissolved.

“Um, thanks man.” Soda took the bag from Gundham and paused. Was this just a food delivery? Did Gundham want to eat with him? Or did Gundham want to…

He couldn’t decide which option he preferred.

“If there is naught else that you require of me, then I will leave you to dine in peace.” Well, there was his answer. He felt just as disappointed as relieved. “Please try not to miss another of our group feasts.” Gundham smiled at him before walking away.

The food was delicious. Soda wished he hadn’t eaten it alone.

–

Soda sat in his room for a long time, just thinking. Trying to take all the things Gundham made him feel and sort them into neat categories; were they horny feelings, friendship feelings, or-

Other.

He started with the easy stuff.

When Gundham touched his dick: horny feeling. Easy. Obvious. The way his heart sped up when he did it was just a normal horny reaction. The way he wanted to hold Gundham close when he did it, the way he wanted him to whisper those stupid, affectionate names into his ear and hold him closer still were-

Horny?

Maybe sex stuff wasn’t actually the best place to start.

Ok then, something else.

He started thinking of things that definitely just made him have friendship feelings. Times when him and Gundham had just been hanging out like the bros they were, times like when he had helped Gundham learn to swim and then-

Bad example.

Ok, then the time Gundham had shown Soda his hamsters. That had been a friendship thing for sure.

Yeah, Gundham had been excited, so Soda had encouraged him to talk about them, like a good bro. Then when Jum-P had come out and Gundham had looked sad, Soda had said some cheesy crap to cheer him up, like bros are supposed to do. And after when Gundham had let Soda hold Jum-P and told him he trusted him, but held his hands up anyways because Soda had been nervous, and they had sat so close together that their knees touched, and Soda had felt that strange warmth forming in his chest when he thought about how close their faces were-

That was… friendship? It was friendship, right? All those days ago it had to have been friendship.

Right?

Fuck.

When had those other feelings started?

He knew they were already there when he had fingered himself to thoughts of Gundham, they had been in the dream that had created the whole situation after all. So, before that.

The beach? He had wanted to kiss Gundham on the beach, and he remembered feeling… yeah, he had been disappointed when he realized Gundham wasn’t going to kiss him. He could admit that much. But, had he just wanted to kiss because he knew it felt good? Like, he didn’t exactly have a lot of experience, but what little he did have, he had enjoyed. Couldn’t he have just wanted to kiss because of that?

The way he had felt after though… That had been more than disappointment about not being kissed. That had been panic, the same panic he had felt after fingering himself. He knew what had caused that panic.

Before the beach then?

He remembered missing Gundham after the race with his other friends, remembered feeling so guilty that he had blown off Sonia’s offer to find Gundham with him. Had he really blown her off just because he felt guilty?

The hamster then? Had it been when Gundham had let him hold Jum-P? Those hamsters meant everything to Gundham, and he had just let Soda hold one. The warmth in his chest at that time, had that been…

But he had felt it before that, hadn’t he? He remembered pressing his head to Gundham’s door, embarrassed and overwhelmed because he had thought Gundham had invited him to hook up (had that really been why?) then turning to find Gundham so damn close.

That had been the first time he had wanted Gundham to kiss him, but…

The beach house? Had those other feelings already existed then too?

He remembered the shame of being caught, the rush of inviting Gundham to join him, and how god damned thrilled he had been when Gundham had misunderstood and suggested they get each other off. It had to have been after that right? After he had one of the best orgasms in his life thanks to Gundham and had decided to suck his dick as thanks. After he had seen how hot Gundham was naked, how cute he was when Soda blew him.

After that god damned pact.

Right?

It couldn’t have been before.

Soda had just accepted he was bi, he decided to celebrate by jackin’ it to some good old dude on dude porn, guilt free. He had been in a pretty specific mood, once he got to his favorite site he typed ‘Goth’ into the search and started looking.

Fuck.

Miss Yukizome had just announced they would be taking a class trip to a tropical island in a month. Soda had been psyched to see all the girls in bathing suits, but-

“Gonna let Gundham bring his rats? Dude’ll probably cry himself to sleep every night if you don’t.” He had meant it as a joke. He tried not to smile when Gundham had been given permission to bring his hamsters.

Fuck.

They were cleaning up some event, a banquet for investors or some shit. Soda had been trying to place a box on a high shelf but was just a few inches too short. Suddenly there was a body behind him, almost touching his back, and the box was taken from his hands.

“Didn’t ask for your help, asshole. I had it.” Gundham had just raised a non-existent eyebrow at him and taken over, placing the other items that needed to go on the top shelf without comment. Soda’s heart had picked up because he was angry. It had nothing to do with the sliver of skin being exposed on Gundham’s stomach every time he reached up.

Fucking fuck.

It was his first day at Hope’s Peak and he had never felt more out of place. He was nervous as fuck. A dog had run up to him and started barking, followed by a man in dark clothes. The man had a weird way of speaking, and Soda hadn’t understood at least half of what he said, but he had been happy to have someone to talk to. His chest had felt warm.

Fucking god damned fuck.

That had been more than a year ago.

He was so fucking stupid.

He needed to talk to Gundham.

–

He wasn’t entirely sure he got any sleep.

Sitting at the breakfast table with all of his way too loud friends talking over each other, he certainly didn’t feel like he got any.

He had come to breakfast and greeted everyone more or less like usual, before grabbing some food and taking his seat beside Gundham. He rested the side his face on his hand and willed himself to wake up.

He hadn’t moved much since then, and definitely hadn’t said anything.

He was glancing down at Gundham’s knee between bites of food, remembering how nice it had felt against his own last time they ate together. He wanted to press their knees together again, no one would notice…

“What?” Gundham’s raised voice startled him out of his thoughts. Gundham was staring at Nagito, who had just walked in. He must have said some weird annoying bullshit, like usual, judging by Gundham’s face. “Show me, mortal.”

Just like that, Gundham stood and briskly exited the restaurant, pulling Nagito along behind him.

Soda blinked and rubbed at his face in exhaustion. What the fuck ha just happened. He was going to ask Gundham to talk after breakfast, where the hell had he taken Nagito?

Why hadn’t he brought Soda?

Whatever. He was probably too tired to talk anyways. He gave up on staying upright and let his head fall onto the table, cushioned by his arms.

He dreamt of hamsters and a man who loved them.

There was a hand on his arm, gently shaking him. Soda grumbled and tried to go back to sleep.

The hand swatted him on the back of the head.

“Ow! What the fuck!” Soda sat up and turned to glare at whoever had hit him.

Hajime.

“Everyone’s done eating, dude. Felt rude to just leave you here.”

“But it didn’t feel rude to hit me while I was sleeping?”

Hajime shrugged. “You weren’t waking up.”

“Bastard.” Soda stretched. It was definitely a good thing Hajime woke him up, his back was already starting to hurt.

“So…” Hajime was staring at him expectantly. He must have done something weird in his sleep. Shit.

“W-what?”

“What’s been going on with you lately? Why’re you so tired?”

Oh, nothing weird then, but…

Soda sighed and let his head fall into his hands. As much as he liked spending time with Hajime, he had wanted to talk with Gundham. But Gundham had left already, and, really, Soda still felt like he needed to talk to someone.

“Wanna go for a walk?” Hajime quirked a brow at his question but nodded anyways.

–

They ended up near the beach, the same one Soda had found Gundham on after the race. Soda was still so damn tired, and, really, all he had wanted was some privacy, so he found a grassy spot under a tree and sat, motioning for Hajime to do the same.

They sat in silence for a while, but Hajime’s curiosity got the better of him.

“So, what’s going on Soda? You don’t show up to eat for a whole day, then when you do show, you just fall asleep? You doing alright man?” Hajime was trying to keep his tone light, but Soda could see genuine worry on his face.

“I’ve just… had a lot on my mind, dude. Been thinking a lot.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re not really my type.”

Soda glared at Hajime, Hajime glared at him.

They burst out laughing.

It felt good to just laugh with Hajime, and Soda felt a little guilty that he hadn’t been spending much time with him recently. It was always so easy to just be with Hajime, no need to worry about skipped heart beats, or tender touches, or-

Oh. Was that because Hajime was his friend? Those weren’t things that were supposed to happened with a friend. So that made Gundham…

Hajime noticed Soda had stopped laughing.

“Look, whatever it is you’ll figure it out, Soda.” Hajime placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled. Soda noted the distinct lack of tightness in his chest at the gesture. God he was stupid.

“God I’m stupid.”

“Well at least you’ve figured that much out.” Soda slapped Hajime’s hand off his shoulder and they both started laughing again.

He wondered if he should tell Hajime about Gundham. He’s probably be cool with it right? Afterall, he was cool with Soda being-

He hadn’t told him he was bi.

How had he not told Hajime he was bi?

He looked over at his soul friend who caught his gaze and smiled back.

“What’s up? Figure something else out?”

“No- well, yeah. But I guess it’s, um, something I figured out a while ago? I just kinda, realized I never told you?” He felt himself starting to blush, maybe he shouldn’t tell Hajime.

Hajime’s hand was back on his shoulder, he was smiling patiently at Soda.

Ok. He could do this.

“So, uh…” He took a deep breath and looked at the sky. “I’m bi?” He blushed harder, why the fuck had he made it a question?

“Yeah, man?” Hajime’s hand was still on his shoulder, he hadn’t recoiled in disgust or anything, so far, so good. “That’s cool. Thanks for letting me know.” Soda was amazed. He looked back at Hajime in shock.

“That’s it?” Soda had pictured his first time coming out of the closet as more… dramatic.

“Yeah? What else am I supposed to say? Congrats on coming out, I guess?” They shared an incredulous look and burst out laughing, both falling onto their backs in the grass.

“Thanks Hajime, really, I guess I, uh, just didn’t think coming out would be so… chill.”

“Yeah no problem.” There was a beat of silence. “Oh. And, um, same, by the way.”

Soda sat up “What?”

Hajime sat up and rubbed the back of his neck, he was blushing now too. “I’m also bi?”

“You’re… what? But you… what?”

“Wow, man, thanks for being so chill about it.” Hajime deadpanned.

“Shit, sorry man. I guess I just, like, wasn’t expecting that? Like I never guessed… huh.” Soda knew he was overreacting. He really had never thought one of his friends would come out to him. “But, thanks for telling me too? Sorry I was weird about it?”

Hajime shook his head and smiled. “Don’t worry, that’s pretty much how I pictured that would go anyways.”

Soda returned his smile and took a moment to process what had just happened. Hajime was cool with Soda being bi, and he was bi himself. Wow. So, they were both into dudes…

Oh no.

“Uh, Hajime? Just so you know, I’m not, like, into you, y’know? Sorry, just, gotta let you know…”

“No worries, I’m not into you either.”

“Wait, not even a little?” Soda was pretty sure he was at least kind of attractive. If Hajime liked dudes, then shouldn’t he be at least a bit into him?

“Not even a little.” Hajime rolled his eyes like he wasn’t crushing Soda’s ego.

“C’mon dude! But I’m hot right? Like you at least think I’m hot?”

“I told you earlier, you’re not my type.” He was smirking now. Bastard.

“Fine then, what is your type?”

Hajime opened his mouth to answer then froze, blushing and looking somewhere behind him. Soda could hear someone’s footsteps passing by.

He turned his head to see who it was.

Nagito.

“Dude.”

“Shut up.”

“Dude.”

“I know. Shut up.”

“But he’s so fucking weird!”

“It just fucking happened, okay? I know!” Hajime’s face was bright red as he hid it in his hands.

“God, you’re such a loser.” Soda punched Hajime in the arm and laughed.

He just couldn’t believe how perfect it all was; they were just a couple of dumb bi dudes who each had a thing for a really weird guy.

They really were soul friends.

Next Chapter

#Soudam #Soda kazuichi #gundham tanaka #Soda/Gundham #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #fic #My writing #Fellas is it gay to give a guy space when he says he needs time to think even though you're worried about him and just want to hold him unti #Fic Aid

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melodyofmuses · 6 years ago

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@awreckageofstarss

Hiccup woke up feeling warm and content in a way he’d never felt before, and yet strangely numb. His left arm was completely numb and yet he was too comfortable to even think about shifting. A slight movement in the bed made Hiccup’s eyes snap open, gaze instantly falling to the woman in his arms. It wasn’t a dream, he had slept with Astrid in his arms all night after he inked a dragon onto her back. A lazy grin slipped onto his face, loving the way her golden locks had fallen out of her braid to spread out over his chest.

The inventor lay there for a while, enjoying the simple pleasure of holding the girl he loves in his arms. Eventually Toothless decided he’d lain in bed long enough, trudging over to nudge his rider. “All right Bud, just gimme a minute, okay?” Green eyes watched the dragon take a step back, sitting expectantly at the end of the bed.

Toothless had been up since before the grey dawn had broken, green eyes fixed on the humans in the bed. He knew the importance of spending time with your mate, which was why he had allowed Hiccup to sleep in a little longer, but the sun was beginning to rise and he needed to stretch his wings. Impatiently he settled at the end of the bed, luminous eyes demanding Hiccup get out of bed already.

Snorting at the impatient dragon Hiccup gently slid out from under Astrid, reaching for his prosthetic to attach the metal appendage. Peeling the blanket back he took a look at her marking, her skin looked like it could use a little more saliva and bandaging the whole thing might be a good idea to prevent her shirt irritating the tender skin. Leaning in he pressed a kiss to her lips, his fingers lightly tracing the dragon on her back from nose to tail.

“Mmm, is this how I get woken from now on?” Astrid smiled, almost rolling onto her back before she realised she didn’t have her bindings or a shirt on. Blue eyes fluttered open to gaze up at Hiccup. “’Cause I could definitely get used to this.” Reaching for the blanket, she tugged it to her chest before sitting up.

Hiccup couldn’t help the goofy smile on his face as she pulled him in for a proper kiss. “Mmm, morning to you too Milady.” Capturing her lips once more he tugged her into his arms, forcing her to wrap her arms around his neck as he stood up and carried her over to the chair. “Hey Bud, think you can give her a little lick for me?”

The black dragon rolled his eyes at their antics, but at least it meant he was closer to having their flight. Dragging his tongue over the blonde’s back he watched the boy take a seat behind the girl. Green eyes watched the boy tug the blanket free, hands carefully winding bandages all the way up the girl’s back until the whole design was covered.

“There, that should do it.” Next was her hair, Hiccup gently combed her hair out before re-braiding it with all the flyaways and loose strands tucked back into place. He knew she could do it but he wasn’t sure how sore she would be, and he really didn’t want her in pain while she attempted to do what he could do for her. “I gotta go take this useless reptile out for a flight. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Astrid sighed, leaning back into his warm body as his arms wound around her, his lips placing a lingering kiss to her neck. Then he was gone, tugging his shirt and riding gear on as an excitable dragons bounced around the hut. “Have a good flight.” She called after them as they left the hut, leaving her to dress for the day and head down to the main hall.

For the next two days Astrid went to Hiccup’s hut, or he came to hers, morning and night to cover her back in dragon saliva and clean bandages, before Astrid brightly told Hiccup the tenderness and irritation was gone. Slipping into his hut Astrid grinned at the young rider getting ready for bed. Quiet footsteps meant he hadn’t heard her come in, his back turned to her as he removed his shirt, only for her to gasp at the sight of bandages on his right bicep and left side of his chest. “Hiccup, why didn’t you tell me Ryker hurt you?” They had fended off a hunter’s raiding party the day before.

“M-milady!” Hiccup spun to face his valkyrie, surprised by her presence. “I-it’s not what it looks like, I promise. Ryker didn’t do this.” Fingers fumbling with the bandage on his right arm, he slowly unwound the bandage to reveal his personal crest of a Night Fury on his right arm, lining up exactly where it sat on his armour. “I uh- I was inspired by your marking and decided I should have a couple of my own.” Moving to the other bandage, Hiccup removed the cloth covering the left side of his chest.

Blue eyes widened, a shuddered gasp as she saw what was there. Emblazoned on his chest, directly over his heart, was a Deadly Nadder. It’s head was low, wings unfurled, and tail raised, ready for battle and guarding his heart. “Hiccup, I- .” There were no words, it was beautiful and she knew he’d done it just to prove he belonged to her.

“You have me, Astrid, all of me. Now and forever.” Bold steps brought him over to the Valkyrie, one arm looping around her waist while the other lifted her hand to rest against the Nadder. “Carve out my heart, it’s your name written there.” She wore his personal symbol, not the Haddock family crest, his, and now he would wear hers. His heart beat for her and her alone, of that he was certain, just as he knew she would guard it with all the ferocity of a Nadder.

Blue eyes gazed up, almost overwhelmed by the intensity of his devotion. The girl had to remind herself to breathe she was so lost in the power of his stare. “Hiccup, she’s beautiful.” Carefully her fingers traced the skin just beside the Nadder, before laying the lightest of kisses to the inked form.

“Yes, you are.” Hiccup murmured softly, fingers lifting her chin to kiss her as he’d been wanting to all day. A few more kisses peppered her face before he finally pulled away, taking a seat and calling Toothless over to lick his markings. “Okay Bud, do your thing.” He sat still for a moment, letting the dragon cover his markings with saliva before he felt Astrid step forward and bandage them back up. Smiling, he followed the blonde to his bed, removing his prosthetic and settling down for her to use his chest for a pillow while they slept.

The next morning brought a flurry of commotion. After the most recent hunter raid Hiccup thought it was a good idea for them all to return to Berk and visit their families. They had been away for a while now and it would do them some good to spent time with their family and friends. It would also give them a chance to grab any extra provisions they might need while trading some items they’d acquired on their travels. It also provided the perfect cover for Hiccup to take care of a personal matter.

The riders reached Berk just in time for lunch, the famished riders quickly removing their packs so their dragons could feed themselves before joining the vikings for the noon meal. Stoick appraised his son as they ate, there was something different about his son, but he couldn’t seem to put his finger on it. All he knew was something was different. Before he could pull Hiccup aside, Gobber whisked the boy away to the forge, rattling off a list of jobs he needed the lad to help him complete while he was there.

Gobber had left to deliver a sharpened sword while checking on an ill dragon, leaving Hiccup to man the forge. It was nearing dinner time, so people stopping by to make requests had long since died away, leaving Hiccup plenty of privacy when a certain Valkyrie dropped by to distract him. Leaning against his workbench he sighed into the kiss, arms wrapped around the spirited blonde, fingers burrowing beneath her top until he could drag them tantalizingly against her bare skin. Her own hands had long since slipped under his shirt, her fingernails scratching lightly against his chest and stomach as he made her whine against his lips. Gods did he love this, being able to hold her and kiss her whenever he wanted. Dipping down to suck teasingly on her neck Hiccup suddenly bolted upright at the sound of Gobber’s voice.

“What the bloody Hel is goin’ on in ‘ere?” Hiccup jerked away, eyes wide like a startled rabbit while Astrid disappeared out of he closest door, leaving Hiccup to face his godfather alone. “What did ye do? I know dragon tails an’ that was a bloody Night Fury on her back. So tell me, what was yer personal symbol doin’ brandin’ that lass like a cheap yak fer sale?”

Hiccup winced, he had really hoped Gobber hadn’t seen that. “S-she asked me for a marking, and she chose one of my sketches and asked me to do it for her, so I did it.” Hiccup replied softly, he really hated actually having to explain this, it was just so...personal. “A-and it’s not just her, Gobber.” With a sigh, the lad removed his shirt, letting his godfather see the Night Fury on his arm and the Nadder proudly inked on his chest. “B-but that doesn’t matter, because I’m asking Dad to write up a contract tonight.”

Gobber’s mouth dropped open, Hiccup was asking for Astrid’s hand? “Well why didn’t ye say so?” The one-legged viking strode forward, crushing Hiccup’s lanky form in a bear hug. “Odin’s beard, it took ye long enough. I’ll admit, I almost lost hope, but ye got there in the end, an’ that’s what matters.” Finally releasing the boy he bent down to get a better look at the markings. “That’s some good work there lad. What did she say when she saw that’ ‘ey?”

Gasping to fill his lungs with air after his Godfather’s crushing hug, Hiccup panted out a laugh. “She loved it. Actually she uh- she kissed it.” Cheeks flushed bright red as he remembered the way she’d spent that night letting him know how much she loved it. Hel, his lips were still burning from her kisses, and it just made him long for her even more. “I love her Gobber, and better yet, she loves me. Thor, what are the odds of that happening, huh?”

The canny old blacksmith roared with laughter. “Lad, ye weren’ subtle. Anyone wit’ eyes could tell ye loved ‘er.” The groan that left the love-struck boy just made Gobber laugh even harder. “And e’er since ye brought that dragon o’ yer’s around, anyone could see she was jus’ as head o’er heels fer ye. Ye two were jus’ too oblivious ta notice.” Intelligent Hiccup certainly was, observant, not so much. Gobber loved the boy like a son and he was ecstatic that he’d finally managed to woo the woman of his dreams. “Now put yer bloody shirt on an’ go get that contract. I wan’ godbabies ta spoil!”

Nodding his head, Hiccup grabbed his shirt and tugged it over his head. Taking a moment to make sure he didn’t look as if he’d had a roll in the hay before heading for the door. “Oh, an’ Hiccup.” Gobber’s voice stopped the lad, turning to face the blond viking. “Do ye think ye could do one o’ those markin’s fer me?”

A bright grin crept onto Hiccup’s face. “I’m sure I could come up with something for you. How about tomorrow afternoon, after you close the forge?” Gobber nodded his agreement and Hiccup turned, racing for Haddock Hall. It was time to talk to his father about making his intentions towards Astrid official.

As promised, the moment the forge closed Hiccup set up his workbench to do a marking for Gobber. The older blacksmith loved the design Hiccup had come up with for him. It was based on the viking symbol for a blacksmith but with dragons curled around it. Taking one bulging bicep in hand, Hiccup began to sketch out the design in charcoal.

“Hey Babe.” Astrid greeted, kissing Hiccup’s cheek while setting a plate of food down beside him as well as a pitcher of water. Hiccup wasn’t much of a drinker, especially when he was working. “I figured I better grab you something before all the good stuff was taken.” A much larger plate of food and a large tankard of mead was set beside Gobber, much to the blacksmith’s enthusiasm.

“If ye hadn’ already asked fer her hand, I’d tell ye to marry ‘er.” Gobber grinned widely at the lass, watching as she pulled up a chair beside Hiccup, taking the cloth to blot the design while Hiccup worked. “An’ congratulations on finally pinnin’ the lad down an’ forcin’ him ta make an honest woman o’ ye. Don’ gimme that look, we both know she made the first move.” Gobber directed the last comment to Hiccup, his stare daring the lad to say otherwise.

Astrid chuckled, history would dictate that she made the first move, and she guessed technically she had by asking Hiccup to mark her, but she had to give him credit for actually making a move this time. “Actually, Hiccup kissed me first.” Astrid replied, earning her a pair of raised eyebrows from Gobber, the bushy blond caterpillars threatening to disappear up into his helmet. “Technically I was asleep for the first one, but he claimed the second one too.”

“Thank you, Milady.” Hiccup’s dry wit rolling off his tongue as he leaned over to claim a quick kiss. “For defending my honour and virtue as a man.” Taking a quick bite of his dinner he returned to his work, thoroughly enjoying the playfulness of their newly found relationship. Had he known his bond with Astrid would only become deeper and more honest, he would’ve bared his soul to her ages ago.

Rolling her eyes at his sarcasm Astrid took a sip from Hiccup’s cup. “So I shouldn’t tell him about how you professed your undying love to me then?” Hiccup’s head snapped to face Astrid, green eyes wide as he gaped at the girl while muttering a ‘Thor no!’. An act that only seemed to embolden the girl.

“Oh Odin, now that’s a story I need ta hear.” Gobber crowed with glee. Ripping off a giant mouthful of roast chicken he stared at Astrid with eager eyes. He was an old romantic at heart, especially when it came to his godson, and he wanted to know what Hiccup said to make the young Valkyrie swoon.

The next day word had gotten around, Gobber no doubt boasting about the new ink resting under the bandage wrapped around his massive arm. Snotlout had been the first to approach Hiccup, his cousin demanding a Monstrous Nightmare all over his back. Right up until Hiccup showed him a needle, then the boy had muttered something about being needed for chores before scurrying off.

Fishlegs had been next, the husky lad stammering out a polite request for a Gronkle. Smiling, Hiccup had nodded his head to the workbench now set up for Hiccup to ink his fellow vikings. The young rider was actually becoming quite good with a needle, and his penmanship was exemplary. Passing Fishlegs a roll of bandage he instructed the larger boy to have Meatlug lick it twice a day and then redress the mark until it felt better.

A couple of other vikings were waiting for Hiccup to mark them, among them Gothi, the Village Elder. Gobber peered over to translate the old woman’s scratchings before Hiccup kindly inked the symbol of a healer into the woman. Gothi’s toothy grin at his work was more than enough for Hiccup as he asked Toothless for a drop of saliva before dressing the site and helping Gothi up.

Hiccup was actually doing quite well with the marking, every viking who had requested one had left a few coins behind as a thank you. The whole endeavor was really starting to make Hiccup smile, to know that so many vikings wanted his art on their bodies. His good mood lasted right until Ruffnut sat down and indicated exactly where she wanted her marking to be situated.

The young rider stared at her, eyes wide in horror as she indicated an area he would only ever consider inking for his wife. “No!” Hiccup stood up, his arm pointing towards the door, requesting she leave immediately. “That’s it! No more markings! For ANYONE! I’m done!” Packing up his tools and his ink, Hiccup grabbed his sketchbook and left not stopping until he was in Toothless’ saddle and high up in the sky.

Slipping into his Haddock Hall, Hiccup started at the sight of his father’s gaze waiting for him. “I heard you refused to do any more markings for people. Left a lot of vikings quite upset.” Hiccup’s head fell, the last thing he needed was his father’s disapproval, yet somehow he’d found it.

“Ruffnut wanted one...down there.” Hiccup grumbled, slumping down onto the chair across from his father, noting the plate of food set aside for his arrival. “I just couldn’t do it, Dad. The only person I want to see down there is Astrid.” With a groan the boy dropped forward onto the table, face pressed into the timber.

Stoick’s eye crinkled with mirth as he stared down at his son, finally letting out a hearty chuckle. “Aye, which is a good thing. Shows character. It’s also one of the reasons her father was so eager to sign your contract.” The vast Chief smiled as his son’s head lifted, eyes wide with hope as Stoick placed the signed document on the table between them. “As of this mornin’, Astrid is your betrothed and Ah’ve already paid her bride price.”

This was better than anything Hiccup could’ve hoped for. His father wasn’t mad at him, actually he seemed proud, and he was officially betrothed to the girl of his dreams. “Dad, thank you. This- this is everything I ever wanted.” Finally sitting up, Hiccup slid his meal over and began to eat. He’d missed dinners with his dad.

The Chief smiled down at his son, grateful Hiccup had finally gotten everything Stoick had wanted for him. Seeing his son happy and with a woman he loved, who loved him back, what more could a father want for his child? And seeing the man that Hiccup had become, he couldn’t be prouder of the man who would eventually succeed him. “So, would you reconsider your decision about markings for your Chief?”

Wide green eyes stared at his father, did he really just ask for a marking? “For my Chief, no.” Hiccup replied, a soft smile covering his face as he glanced at the mountain of a man. “For my Dad, always.”

A loud guffaw filled the room, a wide, toothy smile on the Chief’s face. “You can tell me all about your betrothed while ye do it. I want ta hear all about yer grand proposal, how did ye win yer Lady Fair?” Stoick’s beaming face looked down upon his son before opening his vest in preparation. “I-I want something ta help me remember yer mother. Put her close ta my heart.” A large, stubby finger tapped his chest, indicating the spot he wanted.

Hiccup thought about the Nadder covering his own chest. “I know what you mean.” Grabbing his charcoal, he began to sketch out a design. This was for both of them, and he was going to make it something his mother would be proud of when she met them on the fields of Valhalla.

#awreckageofstars #part 2

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feliciohno · 3 years ago

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Found family?

A: Love it. Spend my time combing AO3 for it.

Listen listen listen FACE fam? Lan Sizhui? That shit got me FUCKED up I’m all over that shit give me found family give them adopted babies and loving sibling relationships with their friends gimme gimme

SEND ME FIC TROPES AND ILL GRADE THEM

#vee~#feli's asks #anonymous

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vidderinserts · 7 years ago

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Tell Me You Love Me || Anti x Reader (romantic)

Guess who's back with some romance? Well, sorta romance? The actual backstory is a bit vague but I might delve more into it later. But I hope you enjoy! Warning: very lightly implied sexual stuff. OOC Anti. My crappy writing lol Static tingled up your spine, rousing you gently from sleep. You smiled into your pillow, shivering under the strange... you weren't entirely sure what it was. Essence? A non corporeal form? It was something. Crackling in your ear, setting your nerves on edge despite knowing you were safe - possibly the safest you had ever been, or would be again. "G'mornin' love," the pitch of the voice wavered, flipping between a raspy high pitch and lower, growling. "Sleep well?" "Very well." You rolled into your back, enjoying the sheets against the exposed skin. Anti was sitting up, one leg propping up his arm and the other dangling over the edge of the bed. His glitching eyes met yours, a fanged smirk turning up his lips. "You look good enough to eat." "You look like a cat who caught a canary," you mused, sitting up and stretching. Sunlight streamed in through a crack in the blackout curtains, illuminating a strip of his grey-green tinged skin and his heterochromic irises. He was flawless looking, aside from the gashes healed over precariously on his throat. "And then won best in show." Flickering fingers reached out to brush against your cheek, a jittery giggle escaping the glitch. "Only one winnin' that is you, love." You closed your eyes under his hand, the static feeling sending a strange feeling down your cheekbone and jaw. "My energizer bunny." You mumbled, feeling his hand jolt with a bit more energy. Silence enveloped you two, aside from the staticky noise that followed Anti everywhere he went. He stroked your cheek with his rough thumb, eyes back to staring through the crack in the curtain. You briefly entertained the thought of what he might be seeing; your neighbor mowing his lawn, or maybe the girl across the street heading out for her jog. People who only knew of Anti as the 'ill man living with Y/N.' People who had met the demon all assumed that he was dying, or perhaps deficient in something. So the two of you agreed to let that be the cover up. Anti was sick and couldn't leave the house much, sensitive to heat and sunlight. The neighbors sent their regards through you, asking how your boyfriend was. "He's planning on taking over the world." It was usually met with laughter, which amused the green haired man to no end. "It's raining." His voice was mostly settled into the lower range, lacking the giddy madness that drove it to the higher pitch. "Thunder too." "Mm, that's new?" You joked lightly, rolling into your stomach and leaning over the edge of the bed. You grasped the sleeve of a plain black shirt, probably the one he wore last night - though not for very long. "Your sass isn't." "You'd miss it if it left." His head glitched, turning to watch you. The intensity of his blue, green and black eyes made you shiver. "I'd miss you." The sincerity in his words and sureness in his voice choked you up momentarily, before you were able to look away. The shirt was pulled on, you allowing it to pool around your thighs. Thunder shook the house and you sighed softly, combing your fingers through your hair in attempts to tame it. "You know, I've always wanted to dance in the rain." "If that's what my princess wants," a clawed hand offered to help you out of bed and you smiled. After standing you shimmied into joggers and one of his human counterparts' hoodies. "I'd raze the world to the ground for you. Flood cities and demolish towns, if you only asked." The heavy promises hung in the air as you were led outside, stopping only to start a pot of coffee. His black tipped hand found purchase on your waist, the other holding yours gently. You stroked the sensitive skin of his neck with your thumb, humming softly. His eyes flickered, staring into yours. Once upon a time, before he had taken over their body for good, you had found it unnerving. Now you liked to watch the way blue and green rocketed back and forth against black sclera. It really was reminiscent of a tv, an older one back when static overtook screens past a certain time. "You look pensive, doll." He spun you away from him, before pulling you back tightly. You nearly tripped, but his arm caught you around the middle. You were pulled tightly against his chest, back against him. "Did I say somethin'?" "No, it's just..." you chewed your lip, waiting until you were facing him once more. "You promise such big things for me, for us. But... what do I do for you?" Anti paused, eyes above your head to watch across the street. You could hear your neighbor starting her car, hear her toddlers babbling excitedly about what their plans for the day were. "Everything you do, big or small..." he began, voice tilting a bit higher. Was he stressed? "It keeps me goin', gives me a reason to keep doin' what were doin'. Nothin' you do is insignificant to me." Those eyes came back to you, piercing. "You love me, gimme the attention I need to keep up his channel so they'll keep saying my name. You help create what we put there, so I'll be able to stay." You gave a minute nod, despite still feeling that pressing weight in your shoulders. "I'm still able to keep bein' here cause of you, Y/N, and that's more'n enough." You swallowed around the lump in your throat, smiling shakily up at him. You had never known Anti to be a liar, never known him to fib about even the smallest thing. But you had also never heard him sound so sincere, and worried about whether you had gotten the message he wanted to convey. "Anti, I..." you swallowed again, feeling tears prick your eyes. He hummed lowly, reaching up to wipe a mix of rain and tears from your lashes. You saw his sharp teeth when he grinned down at you, kissing the tip of your nose. "I love you." "I know, princess... and I love you."

#antisepticeye x reader #my writing #anti x reader

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stcrytcllerxinspo · 6 years ago

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WHAT HURTS THE MOST | SELF PARA

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losin’ you everywhere I go But I’m doing it It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone Still harder gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, mental illness

Devon had thought anything of it at the time, but it was a really good thing that his mum had taken Alyssa for the day. Because his mental state had reached a major low. His mind had spiraled so far downhill over the past year that he wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He had spent the past twelve months since Jade’s death torn between normal grief and absolute hopelessness. The worst part? He hadn’t told a single person about just how bad it had gotten. That meant that he was fighting a battle entirely on his own and he was getting closer and closer to giving up.

Today just might be that day.

It was two in the afternoon and he hadn’t eaten. He had slept until 12:45, sent Alyssa out with his mum at 12:56, and then he had immediately retreated to the basement-turned-weight-room. He spent the next hour hitting the punching bag with every ounce of energy he had left, until finally, he barely had any strength at all.

He took a deep breath as he sat on the floor, combing his fingers through his sweat-soaked hair. He could feel his mind deteriorating, slowly eating him alive. He was dying, he was sure of it. And maybe, just maybe, he no longer cared. It was an awful thought, especially now that Alyssa was in the picture, but his mind was so full of negativity, living him unable to think about anything except how badly he wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

He sat there for about twenty minutes before stumbling to his feet, shaking as he went back upstairs. Everything was a blur as he found himself opening the door to Jade’s art studio. He was suddenly surrounded by all the projects that his beloved wife would never get to finish. Just another reminder that she was dead and she wasn’t coming back.

There had been a reason he kept the door shut and refused to let anyone inside the room. Part of him didn’t want anyone touching Jade’s stuff, as if he was convinced that she would walk through that door, sit at her easel, and continue the work that she had started. Another part of his reasoning was the fact that it had become his private getaway and he didn’t want anyone walking in on him crying as he surrounded himself with Jade’s undeniable talent, creativity, and passion. How could such a bright light burn out so soon? At just nineteen years old? And Jade didn’t just die. She was murdered.

He approached Jade’s latest piece, staring mindlessly at the unfinished painting. It was going to be of them together, on their wedding day. God, she was so talented. Why? Why did she have to die? Why couldn’t she have stayed at home while he went to the store by himself? At least Alyssa wouldn’t have had to grow up without a mother. Jade’s parents wouldn’t have lost their daughter. Maddie wouldn’t have lost her best friend.

Turning away from the unfinished painting, he went to sit at the drawing table, reaching for his phone that he had left there the night before. He sniffled, unlocking the device and pulling up his saved videos. The first one he opened was of him and Jade during one of their date nights, during which they had left Alyssa with his mum before returning home and snuggling up in bed.

“Anna, thank you for giving birth to him.” Jade giggled from behind the camera, pointing it at Devon.

“Babe, you’re embarrassing me. Stop.” Devon chuckled, covering his face with a pillow. But Jade was having none of that, laying beside him and pulling the pillow away from him before kissing his cheek.

“Your accent’s sexy.” She giggled before giving him another kiss. Devon laughed, his eyes and nose crinkled as he pressed his face against her hair. “Like, I have to be the luckiest girl that ever came from our high school because I got the hot British guy. Honestly,” She played with his hair. “I love it.”

Devon laughed harder. “You started this video speaking to me mum and now you’re hitting on me!”

“Don’t judge me.” Jade nudged him, although she couldn’t help laughing a bit herself. Devon put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her head, looking towards the TV. She snuggled up to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Besides, it’s not like I’m bragging about our amazing sex life.”

Now, that just about killed him. “Babe, oh my god—” His voice was between a laugh and a groan. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

Jade smirked, her fingers trailing up and down his ribcage. “Maybe I am. What are you gonna do about it, sir?” She taunted in an exaggerated British accent, trying her best to imitate his own. Devon snickered as he looked at the camera, his arm wrapped tightly around Jade.

“You’ll find out.”

“Hey!” Jade slapped his chest. “No fair…”

“Yeah? Oh well.” He chuckled, rubbing her upper arm and resting his head against hers. Then Jade suddenly became a little more serious, smiling softly as she looked up at him.

“I love you.” She whispered, touching his cheek.

Devon gently kissed her forehead. “I love you too.” He murmured, their noses now touching as they looked at each other with loving eyes. Almost two years into their marriage and everything seemed so perfect. They were on top of the world and nothing could destroy what they had.

Ever.

Tears had begun to fill Devon’s eyes as he opened another video, the very last one they ever took together. It was filmed only a week before she died. Just one week later and she would be struck down by a single bullet, and no one had any idea.

“Alyssa, come here!” Jade cooed as the two year old toddled in the sand. “Come to mommy!”

“You havin’ fun, love?” Devon said as he followed their daughter, who babbled as she picked up a sea shell and showed it to him. “Wow, look at that. Why don’t we put it in your special basket, yeah? Now, go see your mummy. She’s calling you.”

The camera panned to Jade, who was absolutely glowing as she held out her arms for Alyssa. Devon watched as Alyssa ran over to Jade, squealing as her mother picked her up. Jade looked over at the camera and waved, giggling as she spun their daughter around.

“She loves the beach, doesn’t she?” Devon chuckled as he walked closer, while Alyssa pointed at some birds that flew by. Alyssa smiled at the camera, while Jade lovingly kissed her cheek.

“She does. Now, gimme the phone. I wanna film you.” She took the phone from her husband, turning the camera on him. In response, he gave two thumbs up, although he was clearly blushing. “Babe, stop being camera shy. You look hot. I like the scruff.”

“And I like your bikini.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “You should remove that cover-up and show it off more.”

“Dev, not in front of our daughter. Goodness…”

“What?” Devon laughed. “I’m just saying. Maybe we could check into a hotel and me mum could drive up here, and watch our kiddo. If she asks why, just say we’re busy, which wouldn’t be a lie–”

“Devon Carson Prescott!”

Apparently, Devon found it very amusing because he was laughing even harder now as he walked closer to the camera. Suddenly, Jade squealed, as a response to Devon giving her a playful slap on the behind as he walked past her. She flipped him off, even though she was now laughing too.

“Your daddy is an idiot, Lyss.” She giggled. “A cute idiot, but still an idiot.”

Devon couldn’t stand to watch anymore. He had officially snapped and in a fit of anger, he threw his phone across the room. It was a good thing that their videos were also saved to his laptop, otherwise the now broken phone would be a huge problem.

Shaking, he walked to the master bathroom and slammed the door shut, not paying any attention to the photograph that had fallen off the wall and shattered. But something about that sound triggered something in him. The loud crash took him back to a day that he wanted so desperately to forget. Suddenly, he was back in that convenience store, listening to the single shot that killed the love of his life.

Devon gripped his hair as he paced the bathroom, choking back sobs. The emotions were building inside of him, leaving him only seconds away from exploding. Until he finally snapped, throwing his fist at the mirror and watching it shatter into a million pieces. A disturbing thought crossed his mind at that moment as he looked down at the shards of glass. What if he could be with her again? What if he could abandon this life and join Jade on the other side?

Almost as if being controlled by an outside force, he sat on the floor with his back pressed against the wall, reaching for a piece of glass. Without a second thought, he pressed it against his wrist, squeezing his eyes shut.

I’ll see you soon, Jade.

He made a single cut on his wrist, watching as the blood began to flow. Then he made another…and another…and another…

In the middle of his desperate attempt at relief, he didn’t hear Jax calling for him.

“Dev? You here, bro? I tried calling your phone, but it was disconnected or something. You might wanna get it checked out.”

Time no longer existed for Devon in that moment. His mind was clouded as he once again pressed the glass to his arm, shaking with desperation, panic, and anger. He wanted to see Jade. He wanted his Jade back. He wanted to hold her in his arms again. Although, he wasn’t even sure if he was really trying to die. He didn’t know what he was thinking. He just knew that he was hurt and scared and he wanted relief from his pain.

“Shit, what are you doing?”

Suddenly, Jax was snatching the glass from him, and he wasn’t even in his right mind enough to get it back. He just lowered his arm and stared mindlessly ahead, shaking. He didn’t even flinch when his best friend began tending to his cuts. He was practically unresponsive, at least for that moment.

“They’re gonna kill us. They killed her and now they’re gonna kill us. Jax, we have to get out of here!” Devon said desperately.

“Hey, hey, what are you talking about? No one’s here except you and me–”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! THEY HAVE GUNS, DAMMIT! THEY’RE GONNA KILL US! THEY KILLED MY JADE AND NOW THEY’RE GONNA KILL US!” Devon screamed at him, trying to get away from his grip. But Jax was stronger, and he wrapped his arms around the hysterical boy, desperately trying to calm him.

“Devon!” He raised his voice in an effort to get Devon’s attention. “Man, snap out of it. No one is here. We’re at your house, in your bathroom, and it’s just you and me. No else. You’re okay. We’re safe.”

Something in Devon changed all of a sudden. Alertness returned and he looked up at Jax with absolutely confusion.

“W-what? Jax, what am I—”

He immediately noticed that panic and concern in Jax’s eyes, slowly looking down at his now bandaged arm. He shook his head and started to back away, only for Jax to grab him and pull him into a tight hug. Now that he was fully in his own mind again, he was scared. Very, very scared. Had he almost tried to kill himself? He almost left his daughter without any parents at all? What was he thinking, if anything at all?

“Dev,” Jax whispered. “You need help. You were screaming at me about….”

Dev gulped heavily as he stood up, everything spinning around him. He felt so dizzy and weak…he’d had episodes like this before, in moments of intense stress, but this was on a whole new level. It had reached a point of actually being frightening.

“Man, you need a hospital. You’re losing it.” Jax said, holding out his hands to steady Devon.

“NO!” Devon yelled, shrugging of his hands. “Leave me alone! Just..” He was shaking too much to remain standing and he lost his balance, collapsing into Jax’s arms.

He was done.

He was so very done.

He broke down in Jax’s arms and he listened as his friend called 911. It was only a matter of time before he cracked and it seemed that he had finally reached his breaking point.

But was it totally over?

Of course not. It would never be over, because the events that led to this moment would haunt him for the rest of his life.

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