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motherjoel · 4 years ago

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fine line series (spencer reid x reader)

part 3/3: fine line

summary: you and spencer are having a hard time staying apart from one another

a/n: woohoo! the last part! thank you guys so much for reading this, i had a blast writing! once again, i recommend listening to the song just cause it helps with the mood i was going for haha (but you dont have to)

wc: 1.6k

part 1, part 2

we’ll be alright

Another week had passed since you’d cried to Emily and JJ in the bathroom and you didn’t feel any better- you felt worse. You couldn’t help but think that if Spence could smile to you after everything that happened, he had to be okay. You were not okay.

On one fateful night, not even the Gilmore Girls marathon you had going could brighten your mood. It was one of your bad days- the days where you got no peace and no sleep. You longed for those moments in the morning where it was too early to think. Those moments where your mind was still in a sleepy haze and the weight of the world had yet to inflict its pain on your shoulders. This morning, that moment had lasted mere seconds.

It was a paperwork day today, so you luckily didn’t have to interact with him. If you saw him getting coffee, you knew where not to go. For some reason, you thought that limiting your interactions would lessen the pain, when in reality it only fueled the fire in your heart. On days like these, not even paperwork was enough to take your mind off of your life- you weren’t hoping for a murder, but a case would definitely be more distracting. You didn’t want to go home alone again to your empty apartment, but you had no other choice.

So here you were, phone in your hand for the millionth time this week, finger lingering over the call button. You paused the TV and hit call before you could stop yourself, anxiety peaking with each ring. You cursed yourself for calling, but hanging up seemed like a bad idea, so you sat there, paralyzed. After a moment, the call went to voicemail. You considered hanging up, but the embarrassment from leaving a message was better than the loneliness of sitting in silence. So, you did.

“Hi Spence. It’s me. I’m sorry for doing this, gosh this is really unlike me,” you laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. “I was thinking today. About loneliness. And, how I'm experiencing a great deal of it recently,” you confessed, wiping a tear from your cheek. You couldn’t hang up now, so you continued. “They always show on TV that people normally call their best friends when they're sad after a breakup- I guess people in real life do that too. But… but what do you do when you break up with your b-best friend?” you asked, audibly sobbing now. You tried to even out your breathing. “I just- I can’t do this without you anymore Spence. We were real. You were it for me, and… and I think I ruined it. Please, just come over. I need my best friend. I need to know that we’ll be alright. I just, I need to know,” you begged. After a moment you gasped and hung up, as if you just realized what you had said.

You set your phone down and put it on silent before turning the TV back on. After your confession, you felt oddly relaxed. Like everything was out of your hands now. You relaxed so much so that you were finally able to drift off to sleep on your couch.

You woke with a start to banging on your door. Checking your phone, you saw it was 1 AM. Who in the hell would be bothering you at this time? Grabbing your gun from the coffee table, you inched over the door and looked through the peephole. Spencer Reid, in all his glory, stood outside your door with messy hair and a worried expression plastered on that beautiful face of his. You set down your gun and composed yourself before opening the door. He looked up from wringing his hands and took in your appearance: puffy eyes, messy hair, and tear stained cheeks. To him, you were beautiful.

“Y/N, I need you to know something,” he started, trying not to fidget. You nodded, urging him to continue. “My entire life, I never knew I was capable of feeling so deeply for someone. I felt like… a loser,” he choked out. You wanted to reach out and hug him, but you refrained. “Morgan took me to a club tonight to try to make me feel better, I guess. But you know how I feel about clubs… So I went to the bathroom to see I had a missed call from you,” he continued talking with his hands, visibly nervous. You thought back to the call and blushed, remembering your confession.

“Y/N, my heart shattered hearing you like that. It wasn’t until 20 minutes ago that I realized why I felt so completely empty these past few weeks- I lost my best friend, too,” he said with tears brimming in his eyes, his hands getting shakier. “I saw you that day, you know,” he said. You furrowed your brows. “After you cried. I saw you hug Rossi and fix your makeup, and I saw you put down that picture of us. My favorite picture of us,” he confessed, tears were now rolling down his face and you could feel your heart stutter. “We were so happy that day, and if I leave you now, I know that I’ll never be that happy again and I can’t do that, Y/N. I can’t.” You stood in awe, not sure if he was finished. He was not.

“When you asked me to come over, I obviously had to. Because my best friend needed me. So, I’d like to be your best friend,” he paused, looking for something in your eyes. You were deep in thought, so he continued. “It’s up to you if you want to be more, but just being your friend is enough. For now,” he finished, not bothering to wipe his tear streaked face. You both stood, motionless for a few moments.

You realized you had been crying the entire time he was talking. It took one step towards him for you both to embrace, as if it was on instinct. You had never hugged anyone tighter, with more passion and love, in your entire life- it said a thousand words. You cried into his chest and he stroked your tangled hair, and everything was right. You cried and he cried, and you finally felt in sync again.

“We’ll be alright,” he whispered in your ear, over and over again like a mantra.

Two years had passed since the worst few weeks of your life, and Spencer spent the entire time proving to you how worthy he was of loving. He was right- you would be alright. And as you walked down the aisle on your wedding day in the dress you had picked out with your best friends and maids of honor (you couldn’t choose between Penelope, Emily and JJ so they agreed to share the title), you felt more than alright. At the end of the aisle was your soon to be husband, who was totally not crying, as well as Hotch, Rossi, and Derek (the best man). They were all trying to be as macho as possible, but their eyes were glassy.

You said your vows, promising devotion to each other, and kissed like it was your last. The cheers from your friends and family rang out in the church, but you could barely hear it over the blood pumping in your ears. You were marrying the man you loved, the man who was looking at you right now like you were the last woman on earth.

Your reception was held at the Rossi mansion, as per his request. You couldn't say no to him- it saved money and he was one hell of a host. The music consisted of a mixture between Frank Sinatra and a few modern requests by Garcia, and you couldn’t ask for anything better. You took turns dancing with everyone, Rossi was first to take your hand.

“I knew you two kids would make it,” he says, the two of you swaying to “Fly Me to the Moon.” You looked over his shoulder to make eye contact with Spencer, who was dancing with your mother (who was holding him a little too close for comfort). He widened his eyes and jokingly mouthed “help”. You smiled and returned your focus to your dance partner.

“Me too,” you told him as the song finished. You danced with Morgan next, who was surprisingly emotional.

“You look beautiful, princess,” he told you as you danced.

“Thank you Derek,” you blushed. “You don’t look half bad yourself,” you smiled.

“I should’ve snatched you up when I had the chance,” he joked in your ear. You laughed and swatted his arm- you knew he was kidding, and you were glad you could joke about it now.

You made your rotation through the whole team before you made it back to your husband.

“May I have this dance, Mrs. Reid?” he asked, cheesily holding out his hand.

“Why, yes Dr. Reid, you may,” you laughed, taking his hand and beginning to waltz. You wordlessly swayed for a few minutes, bodies impossibly close together as you listened to his heartbeat.

“I told you we’d be alright,” he whispered in your ear. You looked up at him like he was the only other person in the room before giving him a kiss, a kiss that said everything you wanted it to say. The rest of the night consisted of laughter and love- two things that you would have your entire life with him.

a/n: i imagined the last 2 minutes of fine line playing as there’s like a montage of the reception where everyone’s dancing and happy and in love and harry is just singing “we’ll be alright” over and over like UGH I CANTTT why am i making myself cry rn dsakbfjb

taglist: @easygoingtheatre, @rexorangecouny, @kaytlyngraygubler, @fear-less-write-more, @yesimaunicorn, @mariahreid, @bestyearslftv,

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oikawaplssteponme · 4 years ago

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The Apartment: part 8

▪️for parts 1-7, click here

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing, drinking

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: hi friends!! so this is going to be the second to last part :(( thank you again for all the love on this 💛 [this part is a little less fluffy so sorry about that, I’ll make up for it tho :) ] the taglist is still open for the last part of you’d like to be added, and my inbox is still open for requests :) okay, enjoy xx 🌸

•

eight: forever

The rest of the week felt like a dream. Each morning, Kuroo would wake you with a shower of kisses and have you wrapped up in his arms. You couldn’t believe that this was your life now, that after years of chasing after this boy, he was yours. You did still tease Kuroo a lot that if he had just told you he felt the same, you two could have saved some precious time. Still, you were happy enough to call him yours.

“Do you know around what time they’ll be getting here?” you asked. Oikawa and Bokuto were finally coming back from their little trips today. You and Kuroo were just organizing the apartment before they arrived.

“Bokuto texted me and he said they should be here in about 5 minutes,” explained Kuroo. You nodded. You missed your friends dearly. Though things around the apartment might be a little different now that you and Kuroo were together, you would all figure it out.

You went to sit on the couch as you waited for Oikawa and Bokuto. Kuroo joined you, putting his arm around you. You rested your head on his chest.

“I love you, you know that right?” he said. You looked at him and smiled.

“I love you too, you know that right?” you kissed his cheek. Kuroo moved your legs to rest on his, his hand on your thigh.

“I can’t wait to see Bokuto and Oikawa’s reaction to us,” said Kuroo. You chuckled.

“I have a feeling they aren’t going to mind.”

*Knock Knock*

You jumped up from Kuroo’s lap so fast and rushed over to the door.

“HEY HEY HEY!” You jumped into Bokuto’s arms instantly.

“Um hey I’m here too,” pouted Oikawa. Kuroo gave Oikawa a hug.

“We missed you too,” smiled Kuroo. Bokuto set you down and you went over to Oikawa.

“I missed you so much Toru!” Oikawa’s eyes widened.

“Toru? No shittykawa, no flattykawa?” You laughed.

“You just got back so I won’t insult you just yet,” you joked. Kuroo wrapped his arms around your waist. Oikawa and Bokuto looked at each other, then back at you and Kuroo.

“Wait...did you guys…?” Began Bokuto before he trailed off. You looked at Kuroo and smiled. Kuroo nodded. Bokuto and Oikawa pulled the two of you into a hug.

“FINALLY YES YES!” cheered Bokuto . The four of you bounced up and down in your silly group hug.

“I swear if I had to watch Y/N drool over Kuroo for one more day I would have moved out,” said oikawa, breaking from the hug. You hit his arm.

“Oh shut up,” you groaned. Kuroo kissed your head.

“Yeah not like she could be any more obvious,” he joked. You rolled your eyes.

“Okay okay we get it.”

“No,” protested Bokuto. You sighed

“Please Bo! It will just make things easier.”

“I am not sharing a room with Oikawa,” he pouted.

“Hey you should be honored to share a room with me!” huffed Oikawa.

“Bokuto think about it, do you really want me sneaking into Kuroo’s room every night? It will just be easier if we switch rooms.”

“Why don't you just keep it in your pants instead?” muttered Oikawa. Kuroo gave him a glare.

“If you switch rooms with me, I’ll make barbecue for dinner tonight,” you proposed. Bokuto’s eyes lit up.

“Deal.”

Life in the apartment was never better. You finally got yourself moved into Kuroo’s room and as much as Bokuto and Oikawa would never admit it, they were having so much fun sharing a room. It was like a slumber party everyday with those two.

Your full year in the apartment was almost finished. School kept you busy but so did your roommates and boyfriend. Those three never failed to put a smile on your face. Every day was filled with its own mini adventure. Whether it was working out with Bokuto, having a spa day with Oikawa, or a date with Kuroo, you loved every bit of it. (You and Kuroo even went on a few double dates with Calie and AJ).

The four of you were snuggled up on the couch. It was ‘self care’ night as Oikawa liked to call it. So you sat on Kuroo’s lap, tying his hair up with a little hair tie, and applying a bright blue face mask on him.

“Why does this smell like an orange?” he asked.

“Maybe because it’s a citrus face mask idiot” replied Oikawa. You chucked. You, Oikawa, and Bokuto already had your masks on.

“I have the bubbly!” cheered Oikawa, holding his favorite rosé. You sighed.

“I still wonder why we let you buy that,” you joked. Oikawa began to pour four glasses.

“Hey, this rosé brought you and the nerd together after all so I think we should be grateful,” he handed you a glass.

“I wouldn’t go that far…” mumble Kuroo. You laughed and gave him a quick peck.

“Doesn’t matter to me how we got together, just that we did,” you smiled.

“Gross,” muttered Bokuto. Kuroo playfully hit his arm.

“Okay okay, cheers?” said Oikawa. The four of you held your glasses up and clinked them together.

“Okay so what are we watching?” You asked, turning on the TV.

“‘Gilmore Girls’!”

“‘Unsolved Mysteries’!”

“‘Sports Center!’”

You looked at your friends and laughed.

“I’m picking then.” You decided on ‘Grease’ to keep with the theme of ‘self care’ night.

After about 20 minutes, you all washed your face masks off. Bokuto was very pleased with how ‘bright’ his complexion looked.

“Bokuto you've never looked better!” said Oikawa.

“Thank you! Wait…”

The four of you went back to the living room, this time you and Kuroo cuddled together on the loveseat while Bokuto and Oikawa shared the couch.

“Have you checked the mail recently?” You asked. Kuroo pointed to the kitchen table.

“Everything should be there,” he explained. You went over and grabbed the small bundle of letters, scanning through them. One of the letters caught your attention.

“Hey guys, this ones from the landlord,” you said. You opened up the letter and began to read it.

“What’s it say babe?” asked Kuroo.

“We need to send in our request to renew our lease by the end of the week,” you explained. When you all decided to rent out your apartment, you only signed a one year lease, unsure how things would go.

“Well uh...we haven’t really talked about that stuff yet,” said Oikawa. You moved to sit with Kuroo again, showing him the letter.

“Do we really want to talk about this now? Seems like a kinda serious topic,” whispered Bokuto. Oikawa sighed.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you guys but...Iwa asked me if I wanted to move in with him for our last year. His roommate transferred so he has the room,” explained Oikawa. Your heart dropped.

“Yeah Akaashi suggested that I move in with him for next year too, since I’ll be staying with him after graduation anyway,” said Bokuto. You shook your head, trying to process their words.

“Wait so you all want to move out for our last year?”

“We don’t know if we actually will yet...it’s just an option,” whispered Oikawa.

“But if just one of us moves out, this place is too expensive and we won’t be able to pay,” you sighed.

“Y/N calm down a bit…”

“I am calm! I’m just trying to understand why you guys would want to move out for our last year?” You felt your eyes starting to water. Kuroo gently started to rub your back.

“Y/N, it’s gonna be okay. Oikawa and I aren’t even sure if we will be moving out. It was just an idea-“

“Well I don’t like this idea!” You cried. The boys were quiet.

“How-How can you guys just leave? What happens during our senior year then? What if we don’t have classes together? What about after graduation? We are just supposed to part our ways? If you guys move out then I’ll never see you again!”

Tears were streaming down your face before you even realized it. Bokuto and Oikawa squeezed next to you on the loveseat.

“Hey Y/N, of course you’ll see us again. But you know we weren’t all gonna live together forever, right?” said Oikawa. You sighed.

“I know but...you guys are the only family I have. I-I’m not ready to just let you leave me just yet,” you sobbed. Kuroo brought you to his chest.

“No one is leaving anyone Y/N. We are still your family, that’s never gonna change. Just because we might not all live together doesn’t mean we won’t all be together,” said Kuroo. Oikawa and Bokuto joined Kuroo in giving you a right hug.

“I just...I just want you guys to be happy,” you murmured, “so I guess if moving out makes you happy, then you should.”

“We are happy. This is just about our future, after college, you know?” said Bokuto. Kuroo wiped the tears from your eyes.

“Will you live with me?” You asked Kuroo. He chuckled.

“I was planning on it silly.” Kuroo kissed the top of your head.

“Yeah we can’t third and fourth wheel forever,” laughed Bokuto. You gave him a small smile.

“Hey now, Y/N, don’t tell me you’ll actually miss me?” joked Oikawa.

“I’ll miss you least of all shittykawa,” you laughed. Oikawa smiled.

“We can talk about this later okay guys? Let’s just enjoy the movie,” suggested Bokuto. You nodded.

The four of you stayed crammed into the loveseat, enjoying each other’s closeness.

“I love you guys,” you said. The boys looked at you.

“We love you too.”

Kuroo kissed your cheek.

“But I love you most of all, okay?”

You smiled. “Okay.”

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @tetsoleil @cloudswritings @foxyyychan @tamaguchi @jessie9008 @bitandbytes @yeehawnana @166cm @bigchaosenergy @tumbledor3 @captain-janeway @answer-the-sirens @simpletype @ysatrap @stinkybitch1919 @starry-magicshop @graykageyama @keomoon @freyafolkvangr @myherotrashbin @anejuuuuoy @amgoldena @aisawa-reo @moonlightaangel @cremeandstrawberries ]

#willow.🌸#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hq #hq kuroo #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x you #haikyuu kuroo #the apartment.🌸#kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurō #Bokuto #oikawa tōru

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autumn-falls1614 · 5 years ago

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Dude

Right so

I just watched five feet apart for the first time and incase you don’t know its about two teenagers who both have cystic fibrosis and fall in love but they have to always stay six feet apart, because of having cystic fibrosis

I’ve wanted to watch this film for a VERY long time but i knew it would make me cry and i had to be emotionally ready, and let me tell y’all

I LOVE romances, i love rom coms, i’m a sucker for it

And it has been A WHILE since i have cried like that at a film, and I’m talking a while

Maybe even back to when i saw The Fault in Our Stars in cinema, we’re talking 2014

Now i cry at films and tv shows, i cry every time at tangled during the lantern scene and when Eugene dies and Rapunzel is singing her healing song all sad, i cry every time i watch the last episode of Gilmore Girls, theres a few scenes/ episodes of Jane The Virgin that makes me cry (when Jane breaks down crying, anyone?) i cried at the new maleficent film which i did NOT expect, but you get it, i’m a crier

I tend to avoid sads films if i can- never seen marley and me cause I know the dog dies and i cannot emotionally deal with that, but like i said i’m a sucker for romances

I also have the book that the film was based on, kind of another reason I hadn’t watched it yet, if i have the book to a film i tend to want to read it first, but i was sorting my bookshelf (which felt good by the way, a good ol’ dusting, a good ol’ sort, hits the spot) and i thought why not, i’d just finished Alexa and Katie, which also made me cry but not like this

Dude

I was SOBBING

This got to me

I’m 100% going to watch this again

I 1000% recommend this film but be ready

It got to a point where the tears started to pool and they didn’t stop till the end, like i said SOBBING

And god, if any message comes from this film, appreciate the people you have, appreciate the people you can touch and hug and be close to and i know obviously this is hard with coronavirus and what not, but you know what i mean

This hit me hard, if I couldn’t cuddle with my fiancé or hold his hand or just draw little patterns on his back while talking to someone, let alone kissing, i’d be devastated, i’m a huge touchy feely person, i cuddle with my friends, I naturally put my legs on people etc

And for the people with Cystic Fibrosis or anything similar or people with anxiety or autism or anything else where you struggle with contact or you can’t necessarily touch each other, i am so so so sorry, i’ve never actually thought about it before and now i am

Wow, this got deeper than i meant

Whoops

But yeah I recommend the film

#five feet apart #this hit me hard #like dude this film is so good #watch it #film recs #book recs #i’m just assuming with the book but the film was so great #cystic fibrosis #cole sprouse

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prett-ybird · 4 years ago

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9. 13. 25. 27. 35 for the tv/movie asks

9. Top 5 characters

right now it’s probably got to be noa kean (code black) - s2 rewatch no.3 is hitting different, emily if ur reading this i am free all the time hmu

michaela pratt (htgawm) - final season did her so dirty but she’s My Girl

tk strand (911: lonestar) - baby boy. just wnt to hug him and steal his hoodie collection

julie molina (jatp) - girlie has my whole heart, she can sing and has style? take all my money

and klara gold (the immortalists) - sobbing over her is the most cathartic experience for me, love my strong-willed, probably clinically insane, alcoholic magician

13. Top 5 dead characters

robert willis (code black) – the man had maybe 2 minutes of screen time but like that’s my husband

root (person of interest) – it’s been 4 years since she died and i have not stopped crying over her?? truly insane. also one of the deciding factors for me realising i liked girls so thanks amy acker !!

wes gibbins (htgawm) – deserved SO much more???

laurel lance (arrow) – i feel like the fact that i had to skip school the day after her death episode aired says enough

klara gold (again) – really can’t put into words how much she means to me? i went into her section knowing she’d die but the tragic heroine Always gets me i guess

25. Top 5 ships

luke/lorelai (gilmore girls) – they always remind me of soulmateism, their relationship also kind of reminds me of my parent’s one so yeah i love them a lot.

jeff/annie (community) – the pining, the denial, the long looks….. truly am a wh*re for them

buck/eddie (911) – non-canon canon husbands raising their kid together, what more does a girl want

rox/ethan (code black) – technically off-screen endgame but i’ll accept it given the glorious angst of their back and forth before she nearly dies and he drops everything and everyone for her? just say you’re in love and go honestly but like internally, v secret, maybe i prefer rox w the dead brother bc their angst potential is huge and i love pain

rosie/alex (love rosie) – made me believe in the childhood best friends to lovers trope, very sick and twisted of them but they’re the loves of my life and the book makes me sob bc it’s all worth it in the end and i just adore them

27. Top 5 brotps

mario/malaya (code black) – got virtually no solo bro time (from what i vaguely remember from s1) but i just know they’re best friends and they hang out all the time and she totally gave him hell about being whipped on noa. i know all of this is true, i just know it

reese/shaw (person of interest) – snarky bi assassins living my dream life and just being buds, truly elite friendship

troy/abed (community) – platonic but slightly romantic soulmates, constantly searching for the troy to my abed if i’m being honest

tammy/sebastian (ncis:nola) – himbo/lesbian solidarity like they just make me Soft and for a pairing that are all abt the laughs i cry over them too often

paris/rory (gilmore girls) – just girls being friends and never losing contact with each other. genuinely upset that my paris is currently 4 hours away even tho we never went to the same school she’s my oldest and dearest friend and just a total nerd, words truly cannot convey how much they are us and we are them lol. also i attacked her 3 days after we met and she still has a scar from that encounter… good times

35. Top 5 best moments

the ending of fallen angels (code black s2 finale) makes me sob like i was dehydrated by the end of the episode because i just lost it at the softness of ariel and leanne and the sense of found family that the whole finale had. very fun time for me !

the end scene for community s3 e4 because those idiots dancing around a room gives me so much serotonin it is unreal. i have lost track of the amount of times i’ve watched that scene this year, it’s just so good and wholesome

ummmm i can’t remember the episode because it is late and i am too lazy to google but the orphan black scene where they’re all dancing bc they just dodged a major bullet and i just love it so much bc it makes me Happy. also the song choice just slaps so hard i love it

the scene after beth wins the world championship and we see everyone who supported her lose their minds??? one aspect that wasn’t in the book that i loved so much like the abandoned orphan girl made something of herself and had people who loved and supported her and ugh the love i have for the queen’s gambit is something else

also jatp scene at the end when they realise they can touch each other….. luke and julie holding each other’s faces is something that just means a lot to my touch starved self

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ksfd89 · 5 years ago

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Christmas Surprises

Christmas fic set when Rory’s daughter is two post AYTIL. Rory is engaged to Jess and they are spending the day at Lorelai’s, where someone surprising fills in for Santa.

Stars Hollow is lit up for Christmas. Rory steers the car through the streets, glancing back to where her daughter is sitting on the backseat.

"Look Charlotte! Stars Hollow!"

"Stars!" her daughter exclaims, staring out of the window. Her blue eyes, decided by Lorelai as the Gilmore eyes, are wide with excitement. "Stars!"

Rory laughs, parking the car outside her mother's house and getting out. She has barely closed the car door when Lorelai comes out of the house, running down the steps and down the path, heedless of the icy snow, Paul Anka barking at her feet.

"Rory!"

"Hey Mom!" Rory shouts back. She unbuckles Charlotte, lifts her out and passes her straight to Lorelai who hugs her tightly.

"Both my girls," Lorelai says, giving Charlotte a big kiss. "Look out how big you've gotten!"

"You only saw Charlotte last week," Rory points out and Lorelai sticks out her tongue.

"She still looks bigger, don't you, honey?"

Charlotte stares at her grandmother, making Lorelai and Rory laugh.

"Okay, let's get you inside," Lorelai says, starting back up the steps with more caution. "It's freezing!"

Rory follows her mother into the house, carrying her and Charlotte's suitcases and dropping them in the hall with a thump.

"Rat bastards!"

"Language!" Lorelai admonishes, putting her hands over Charlotte's ears and Rory rolls her eyes with a grin.

"I believe you were the person who taught me that term for heavy luggage."

"Not until you were at least in Kindergarten," Lorelai coughs. "Anyway, how much stuff can a two-year-old need?"

"Too much," Rory sighs. "What with packing and listening to that kids' playlist all the way from New York, my head is spinning!"

"I'll make us some coffee," Lorelai promises. "Sit and relax, little daughter! It's Christmas!"

Rory nods, looking around the brightly decorated house and taking a contented breath. "It's good to be back."

"Good to have you back," Lorelai says, kissing her cheek. "Both of you. I don't think Charlotte is quite old enough for coffee -"

"Give it another a year!"

"But maybe some hot chocolate?"

"She'll love that, thanks Mom," Rory says. She sits down with Charlotte on the couch, looking at the familiar pictures, when her gaze rests and her eyes freeze. Rory's mouth is still hanging open when Lorelai brings the drinks over.

"What is it?" Lorelai asks, putting the cups down. "You look like I've made you decaf!"

"Um, Mom," Rory says slowly. "Why is that painting of me on the wall?"

Lorelai looks behind her to see the painting of Rory, made when she was seventeen and which once hung in Richard's study.

"It couldn't stay at Mom and Dad's old place."

"But why is it here?" Rory insists. "Here, in this house, on your living room wall?"

"Mom hadn't put it up!"

"That's not a reason for you to!"

"Sure it is!" Lorelai says, lifting Charlotte up so she can see it. "Look, Charlotte! It's your mama!"

"Mama!" Charlotte exclaims, pointing at the painting. "Mama!"

"Okay, it's freaking me out," Rory says, getting up. "That painting is horrible."

"No, it's great! Dad wanted it and look, it's a totally natural pose."

"I'm wearing that weird dress!"

"But you're reading, and that's natural! Be thankful - Grandma wanted you to have your arms above your head!"

"Thank you for the flashback, I remember," Rory grumbles. "My arms ached all afternoon!"

"And now you have that to remind you too."

"Yeah, thanks," Rory says sarcastically. Lorelai smiles sheepishly and says,

"Mom was talking about putting it in storage and I just couldn't let her - I always liked that painting of you."

"That's Emily coming out," Rory says and Lorelai's mouth hangs open.

"How very dare you."

"I'm kidding," Rory says. "It's fine, Mom. Kind of disconcerting seeing it here, but it's fine."

"Mama," Charlotte says again, sounding curious, and Lorelai gives her a bounce.

"That's right, angel."

"Bear," Charlotte says and Lorelai frowns over her head at Rory.

"Is this some nickname I haven't been clued in on?"

"She wants her bear," Rory explains, opening Charlotte's bag. "New obsession of the week. Crap, where is it...oh crap, I'm trying not to say crap! Dammit!"

"Big improvement," Lorelai remarks. "What's the crisis?"

"Bear's not here," Rory says grimly. "She'll have a meltdown."

"Uh-oh."

"I'll text Jess," Rory says, getting her phone out as Charlotte says bear again. "I know, sweets. Bear's coming."

"That doesn't sound creepy at all," Lorelai comments. "What time is Jess getting here again?"

"Sometime after dinner - he's just got a few things to finish for Truncheon. I said we could all drive down together but Jess wasn't sure how long he'd be."

"Plus it gives you more time to see your glorious mother," Lorelai grins, and jumps as Charlotte lets out a shout. "Though I didn't figure in a bear meltdown."

"She can take a nap, and hopefully Bear will be on his way," Rory says seriously. "Come on, Charlotte! Naptime!"

Charlotte resists halfheartedly, crying for her bear, but soon she's dozed off in Rory's bedroom, a childhood bear of Rory's tucked in the crook of her arm and an old shirt of Luke's Charlotte uses as a blanket under her cheek.

"Crisis averted," Lorelai murmurs under her breath. "Doesn't she look adorable?"

"It's the sleep," Rory says but she smiles, tiptoeing over to brush Charlotte's hair away from her eyes. "She is adorable, isn't she?"

"It's her grandmother's dazzling genes," Lorelai jokes, putting an arm around Rory. "Let's go finish that coffee."

Now that Charlotte's asleep Rory lets herself feel how truly tired she is. She closes her eyes for a moment and Lorelai touches her hand, startling her.

"Hey - do you need a nap too?"

"No," Rory says, yawning. "Maybe. I'm okay."

"You sound tired."

"I am tired. It's been crazy at work and taking care of Charlotte and getting ready for Christmas, and she knows what Christmas is now, sort of. She's so excited."

"That's cute though."

"It's less cute when she's waking me up by shouting Christmas in my face every morning," Rory says, making Lorelai laugh. "But it's cute she's so excited, you're right. I can't wait to take her to the Christmas Eve parade. Who's playing Santa this year?"

"Andrew."

"That's cool. He was kind of like Santa to me as a kid, ordering all those books."

"Don't I know it - I used to bring him a list of books you wanted before you were old enough to do it yourself. I remember one year you wanted them for Christmas and put them on your letter to Santa and I was so scared they wouldn't arrive in time. I'm pretty sure Andrew pulled a few strings."

"Maybe he is Santa after all," Rory says in mock-seriousness and Lorelai nods.

"But where does he keep the reindeer?"

"Miss Patty, maybe? She raises chickens."

"True," Lorelai agrees. "Or maybe Kirk...he has about a million jobs, after all."

Lorelai and Rory laugh, finishing their coffee, and Rory goes on to talk about the newest article she's working on and planning for the wedding she and Jess are having next year. Lorelai smiles over her cup and says, "You sound happy, kid."

"I am, Mom," Rory says, smiling back. "I am."

"I still can't believe you're getting married."

"Me neither."

"And to that punk," Lorelai jokes. "Man, if you'd told me back when you guys were seventeen that Luke's nephew was marrying you and tracking down a bear for your daughter I'd have broken something laughing."

"That's heartwarming," Rory says wryly. She looks down at her empty cup and feels a little sad. "I never thought I'd have Charlotte the way I did."

"Honey," Lorelai says, moving closer to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -"

"It's fine," Rory says quickly. "I'm okay - she's perfect, and I get to be her mom. How she got here doesn't matter, right?"

"Right," Lorelai says, squeezing her hand and Rory sighs.

"Logan sent a giant stuffed tiger."

"A tiger?"

"A tiger. It sings, too. Charlotte is terrified of it."

"Maybe it'll be the next step from the bear!"

"Gee, I hope not. It scares me too."

Lorelai laughs but she sounds concerned as she asks, "Have you spoken to Logan?"

"We're waiting for our annual Christmas phonecall," Rory says bitterly. "When Charlotte was born he said he'd call as much as he could. Sometimes he doesn't call for weeks and when he does, he sounds so uncomfortable."

"I guess it's an uncomfortable situation."

"I know...I just wish I could make it better. Charlotte's so young now but when she's older..." Rory's voice trails off and Lorelai hugs her arm around her shoulder, kissing the side of her daughter's head.

"Charlotte's got you, Jess, me and Luke and Mom, and she's going to be just fine. That's a promise."

"I know," Rory says, looking up and smiles as Lorelai adds, "She's a Gilmore. She's already awesome."

Lorelai puts on a Christmas movie and, without intending to, Rory falls asleep against her mother's shoulder and wakes up with a jump as the front door opens.

"Anyone home?"

"Luke!" Rory exclaims, sitting up and rubbing the crick in her neck. "Hey! Merry early Christmas!"

"Merry early Christmas!" Luke says warmly, putting down his bags of takeout and giving her a hug and then Lorelai. "And look who I found on the way here!"

Jess ducks inside, giving everyone a wave and laughing as Rory jumps up, demanding, "You're early, Mariano!"

"Good to see you too," Jess chuckles. "Got out sooner than planned."

Rory gives Jess a kiss and sighs in relief as she sees Charlotte's bear hanging in his hand, when, on cue, her daughter starts crying.

"Boy, are we glad to see you," Lorelai says seriously. "I've heard all about Bear!"

"On it," Jess says, lifting the stuffed animal up and going into Rory's room. "Where's my girl?"

Charlotte is sitting up in bed, sobbing, but when she sees Jess she lifts out her arms and says happily, "Daddy!"

"Daddy's here," Jess says, sitting on the bed and lifting Charlotte into his arms. "There's my girl. And look, I've got Bear!"

Charlotte sucks on her thumb, looks at the bear Jess has given her and hugs Rory's old one closer. "My bear," she says happily and Rory turns to Lorelai.

"I don't know if I should laugh or cry."

"Now you've got two!"

Charlotte is wide awake so they get her up and take her into the kitchen, where Rory pours her a glass of juice.

"Grandpa Luke!" Charlotte says joyfully upon sight of her grandfather, who gives her a kiss and makes her a Santa burger. Charlotte discards it after one bite but Luke simply remarks that she takes after Lorelai and pours Charlotte more juice. Jess carries Charlotte into the living room and, as Charlotte sips her drink, she catches sight of the painting of Rory again and says happily,

"Mama!"

"Oh, jeez!" Jess exclaims, staring at it. "What's that doing here?"

"That is a painting of my daughter, Jess!" Lorelai says indignantly. "You don't like it?"

"Not quite to my taste."

"Mom's teasing you," Rory says as Lorelai goes to make more coffee. "Didn't think it was her taste either...it's definitely not mine. I remember there was supposed to be a swan in that picture but it kept freaking out, and looked ready to attack."

"I told you swans are vicious birds," Jess says seriously and Rory laughs.

"That they are. I'm lucky it didn't beak me, huh? What with that and the deer hitting my car I haven't had much luck with wildlife."

They look at the picture a little longer. Seeing it again makes Rory almost feel that uncomfortable dress she'd had to wear for it, but it also reminds her of Richard, who'd put in his study. He'd been so happy it was worth the pain of posing and Rory smiles.

"That painting really creeps me out," Jess says to Rory, breaking her thoughts. "I'd almost forgotten it exists."

"Me too."

"Can I throw a towel over it?" Jess asks but smiles as his daughter says insistently to him, "Mama!"

"That's right, that's your mama," Jess says to Charlotte. "Wasn't she pretty?"

"I still am," Rory teases and then gives her daughter a kiss. "That's me a long time ago, Charlotte."

Charlotte, bored of art for the day, loudly announces that she needs the bathroom. Rory takes her and when she gets back finds that Jess has put a blanket over the painting.

"It's not that bad," Rory laughs and Jess protests, "It just weirds me out a little."

"I know. Mom really likes it for some reason."

"Because it's of you."

"There's a million photos of me," Rory protests and Jess says, "Yeah, but it's a special painting. Plus her dad wanted it...probably makes Lorelai think of him too."

Rory nods and Jess takes the blanket off before Lorelai comes back in. They look at it a moment longer until Charlotte runs past them, a Christmas cookie tight in her hand and Lorelai at her heels pretending to be annoyed.

The rest of the evening is spent eating too much (or just enough according to Lorelai and Rory) and catching up, Charlotte asleep with both bears beside her. The next day they go for a walk around Stars Hollow, admiring the lights, and Lorelai dresses Charlotte in a miniature Santa outfit, coaxed only away from taking pictures all evening by being reminded of the parade. Luke is talked into going with them under much duress, grumbling about tradition, but quietens as Charlotte starts getting excited to see Santa. They all head out, joined by Lane and her kids, but there's worried murmuring amongst the crowd as they arrive.

"What's wrong?" Lorelai asks Babette. "Did Kirk get stuck hanging up the Christmas lights again?"

"Andrew's sick as a dog," Babette says. "Was trying on his Santa suit earlier and bam! Puked all over the square."

"Oh no," Lorelai groans. "Poor Andrew."

"Please tell me they cleaned the square," Rory says queasily but her nausea is far from abated as Babette cheerfully tells her Petal took care of it. "Is Andrew okay?"

"He's fine, sugar," Babette promises. "Just got a high fever and talking about elves dancing on the ceiling!"

"Sounds like a real Tom Wolfe Christmas," Jess whispers to Rory who giggles guiltily.

"Who's taking his spot?" she asks and Babette spreads her hands.

"No one, far as I can tell, that's the problem. Andrew only just got sick and the parade is starting in five minutes!"

"Charlotte's going to be so disappointed," Rory says sadly. "Honey, Santa might not make it, okay?"

"No Santa?"

"He had to see a man about an elf," Jess jokes but picks Charlotte up as her lower lip starts trembling. "Hey, it's okay kiddo, he's still going to come later. He's just busy right now."

Charlotte sniffles into Jess's neck and he kisses her curly hair beneath the Santa hat. "You're like Santa too, dressed like that!"

"Look, angel," Rory says. "Aren't the lights pretty?"

Charlotte is unappeased. They go over to a stand to buy hot chocolate before the parade starts and Rory smiles, remembering the Christmas she was pregnant and Jess had gotten her hot chocolate and doughnut after the van had closed. She'd been so sad, that Christmas, but that night had been perfect and she leans up to give her fiancé a kiss.

"Your mouth tastes of chocolate," Rory says and Jess grins.

"That a problem?"

"Nope, a bonus."

They kiss again and break apart as Lorelai asks, "Hey, where's Luke?"

"He was here a second ago," Rory says, looking around. "Maybe he went back to the house?"

Lorelai frowns. "He would have told me."

"Maybe he had to run over to the diner," Jess suggests. "Luke'll show up in a minute, I'm positive."

Lorelai nods but she stares around at the crowd. "Maybe I should go look for him."

"Mom, the parade's starting."

They all look up as the procession starts, lanterns gleaming in the dark. Rory hugs Charlotte closely to her, breathing in her soft warmth, and then jumps as her daughter shrieks, "Santa!"

Someone has filled in after all. The surprise Santa marches along, sack on his back, ringing a bell and calling, "Merry Christmas!"

Rory stops in disbelief and a glance at her family shows they're thinking the same. It can't be.

"Luke?" Lorelai exclaims and the Santa stops, saying under his breath, "I'll explain later. Merry Christmas!"

Rory looks over at Jess to see him laughing so hard he's almost doubled over and starts laughing herself, almost dropping her daughter who is wriggling with excitement.

"Santa! Santa! I want to see Santa!"

"She's as bold as you are," Rory remarks to Lorelai and nods as Luke stops to take Charlotte's hand. "Go on, sweets! It's Santa!"

"I remember when it was you in those parades," Lorelai says fondly as they watch Charlotte walk in the parade with Luke, eyes wide with excitement and her costume matching his. "You were just as cute."

"I can't believe Luke did that for her."

"I can," Lorelai says and Rory smiles.

"Actually, I can too."

After the parade when Luke has given out all the gifts in the sack, they head back to the house. Before Jess has opened his mouth Luke holds up a hand.

"Not one word, nephew."

"Just wanted to know if there was anything in that sack for me, St Nick."

"More of the lump of coal variety."

"I'll bet," Jess grins. "Thought you hated tradition?"

"Anything else, wiseguy?"

"Yes," Jess says, stopping. Luke stops as well, looking defensive, but smiles as Jess says sincerely, "It was really great of you to step in like that."

"Couldn't disappoint Charlotte," Luke says simply. "I know how excited she was."

"Thank you," Rory says and her stepfather smiles, hugging his arm around her.

"It was my pleasure."

It's less fun getting Charlotte ready for bed. She's hyped up on sugar and general Christmas excitement and even once she's been convinced into getting changed into her new pyjamas, which also have Santa on, Charlotte runs up and down the hall shouting, "Christmas!" at the top of her lungs.

"It's bedtime," Rory says firmly. "Christmas won't come if you don't go to sleep."

Her daughter stares at her blankly and then shouts, "Christmas!" yet again.

"Come on, little miss," Jess says, lifting her up. "Time for sleep."

Charlotte allows her parents to tuck her into bed, both bears beside her, and finally closes her eyes after a story. Rory and Jess back out, holding their breath, and stay up a little later after Lorelai and Luke have turned in for the night.

"I can't believe Christmas is tomorrow," Rory groans and Jess grins.

"I can. Our daughter's reminded us of it enough times."

"Too many."

"One day she'll be a moody teenager and won't want to celebrate Christmas at all."

"Don't ever say those things, Jess Mariano," Rory says, sitting up. "Not our little girl!"

"She'll still be our teenager."

"That's a million years away," Rory says sleepily and smiles as Jess says, "We'll be married then too."

"I know...crazy."

"Not crazy - it makes total sense."

"Not arguing."

Rory sits up, putting her arms around Jess and kisses him. He kisses her back, smiling into her mouth and as they lie down together on the couch the living room door bursts open. Rory and Jess break apart like guilty teenagers as their daughter walks in, rubbing her eyes.

"Christmas?" she asks sleepily and Rory says gently, "Not yet, sweets. Go back to bed."

"Want up," Charlotte says and, although Rory and Jess are trying to get her to sleep through the night, Jess goes over, lifts her into his arms and carries her over to the couch.

"Here we go," he says gently. Charlotte snuggles between them, sucking her thumb.

"Sleepy," she tells them, eyelids drooping. Jess gives her a kiss and they see that Charlotte has fallen asleep. Rory gently takes her back to bed, tucking her in, and tiptoes back to find that Jess has dozed off too. Rory watches him, half-amused and half-disappointed and then climbs onto the couch with him, lying beside him.

"Rory?" Jess asks sleepily and Rory gives him a small kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Jess."

"Love you," Jess says, half-asleep. Rory closes her eyes, just for a moment, and the next thing she knows someone is jumping all over her.

"CHRISTMAS!"

"Yes, it is," Rory groans, wondering how such a small person can be so loud. "Don't jump on my leg, sweets."

"CHRISTMAS!"

"Did someone say it's Christmas?" Jess exclaims, getting up and swinging Charlotte into his arms, making her roar with laughter. "Merry Christmas, Charlotte!"

Rory watches them for a moment, her heart full. Right now, nothing matters. The only thing Rory knows is that Jess is Charlotte's father in the ways that matter, it's Christmas morning and she's so happy she can't speak. She smiles and smiles at them until Charlotte shouts, "Mama!"

"Merry Christmas, sweets!" Rory exclaims, getting up and giving her daughter a big kiss. "You're still the best gift I've ever gotten."

Jess hugs her and Charlotte tightly until Lorelai and Luke come in, and talk turns to Christmas wishes and excitement over opening the gifts under the tree (a contest between Lorelai and Charlotte).

"Luke, you going to dress up as Santa again?" Jess teases and Luke points at him.

"Onetime thing, my friend. Next year it's your turn."

"I'd like to see that," Rory teases. They gather around the tree and Lorelai's eyes meet Rory's. Mother and daughter smile and Rory remembers all their Christmases, just the two of them but no less magical. It's a long time ago but equally, no time at all.

"Merry Christmas, Mom."

"Merry Christmas, Rory."

They turn to Charlotte, the newest Gilmore girl, who's reading the picture book Jess gave her with joy in her eyes and Rory's heart swells. She loves her daughter so much it hurts and, without getting what Luke would call sappy, isn't this what Christmas is all about? This is what Rory remembers, from those Christmases before. Not that it was a small occasion, not the stress of going to her grandparents - it was the love of it all. Love for her mother and now love for her daughter. Rory looks around at her family and relaxes into the bliss of it. Merry Christmas.

#Gilmore Girls #lorelai gilmore #rory gilmore #literati #mine

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jordanrosenburg · 5 years ago

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The Reboot Bubble

When your favorite TV show ends, how do you feel? Lost? Depressed? Lonely? All of the above? I am someone who usually sobs at the end of a beloved TV show. The end of Avatar: The Last Airbender still gets me, I can remember crying when Awkward ended, and even having not watched the last two seasons, I absolutely bawled my eyes out at the series finale of Glee. There are times we want the shows we love to go on forever. Adventure Time was on for over ten years, a dystopian cartoon about a boy and his dog. Even though I was sad, I knew it was time for it to come to an end. That was a show, much like Glee, that I had stopped watching before it ended. But like a good, true fan, I watched its finale.

I think we feel sad when these shows end, especially the ones that last for many years, because we have grown with many of the characters. I started watching many of the above shows when I was in middle school and high school, and some didn’t end until I was in college, or even after college. It’s like a piece of our younger selves end with it. We wait for these shows to pop up on Netflix or Hulu, so maybe once in a while we can fall down the rabbit hole again. Usually I have to ask myself, “Am I really going to put myself through this again?”, as I push play to rewatch Glee for the seventh time.

Not every show I rewatch gives me such emotion. I can contently watch reruns of That 70′s Show or Sex and the City and pretty much not feel a thing. I will admit when Eric and Donna break up I feel sad, but not enough to cry!

I think it’s when our favorite TV shows end in a way that we didn’t like when we feel like it should come back for one more round. Fix the mistakes it made, let the characters we love be happy. Some of us turn to fandom to help cushion the blow. We chat with each other, read what others have to say, or even read fanfiction to help us grieve the loss over one of the things that would help us escape for a little while.

Reunion specials started happening. These could be simple panels when actors get together to answer questions about a show. Or even as witty as the Seinfeld season on Curb Your Enthusiasm. A lot of people wanted to see their favorite characters together again. One of the reasons I had actually made an account on Tumblr back in 2012 was because The Legend of Korra had come out and I wanted to see how other fans had felt about the sequel series to the show I held so closely to my heart. As much as I wanted to see the characters I knew, I was happy to see new characters in the same universe.

And then...Fuller House became an extension of Full House. I couldn’t even get through the first episode if I’m being honest. Watching all of the actors turn to the camera and make a funny face after making a joke about the Olsen Twins really turned me off. Gilmore Girls had a four episode reboot. I would say this one of the first, worthy of note reboots. I think most fans were disappointed with how the show actually ended, so getting to see these characters ten years later helped fill in a lot of gaps. I won’t get into how I felt, but I will say I didn’t love what they did with Rory. I was sad to see that she didn’t end being a successful journalist as she had hoped, but such is life. Will and Grace got a reboot around the same time, or shortly after. A show, ahead of its time, had come back. I would have been fine with just a reunion special, but a whole season was made, and then a second season was picked up shortly after. Clearly, there were some stories left to tell.

Murphy Brown had a failed reboot, which came to no surprise. Did people really want to see a woman in her 60′s going through the same problems she had in her 30′s/40′s? But the networks must have seen how well Will and Grace was doing, and hopped on the bandwagon. Many networks are realizing that the 90′s nostalgia is alive and well. Whose Line is it Anyway also comes to mind. Another beloved show, but this time with a new host and some new comedians. A bit of a face lift, but still funny. Roseanne, now The Connors, was something I was surprised to see comeback. A program that truly showed what a middle class family looked like, and how they lived. This show came back at a good time because many other sitcoms today are all rich families. Is Modern Family only modern because of the different races and sexual orientations depicted? I know a lot of families, and they do not live nearly as comfortably as these people.

Roswell New Mexico is an example of a reboot that no one really asked for, but am so glad it happened. This is a show that, to me, is the true definition of a reboot. They took the good stuff from the original, recast the entire thing with adults playing adults, not adults playing teenagers, and gave this show a fresh new spin. I sat and watched the original series, and it had its moments, but there’s a reason it only lasted three seasons. This new version of it is something I can see lasting for many seasons to come.

I know everyone says they want a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. reboot, or an Office reboot, but do they really? Wouldn’t you rather see someone die a hero than see them live long enough to become the villain?

What made me want to write this in the first place was because I was on Facebook the other day and saw that a reboot of Reba had been green-lit...SERIOUSLY REBA? A show that I know only because they would show re-runs on ABC Family. Don’t get me wrong, Reba wasn’t the worst show in the world, but what stories do they really have to tell that warrants 12-24 episodes? AN ENTIRE SEASON? I could see a reunion special on Netflix, a tasteful hour, to an hour and a half of Reba roasting Barbara Jeanne would be great.

Rocko’s Modern Life and Invader Zim both have specials on Netflix right now. Rocko’s Modern Life did it right. A quick special, twenty or so years later, that pretty much made fun of itself. I haven’t been able to watch the Invader Zim special yet, but I’m sure it will be done in a similar way of just answering the burning questions fans have. Even Hey Arnold came out with another movie a couple of years ago. This was something fans wanted for years! We all wanted to know what happened to Arnold’s parents. We finally found out, and it was great. Do all of these shows have a chance of coming back with a full season? It depends on the ratings and what the creators of the shows want to do, but these small specials are enough. It’s good fan service.

But now the networks are just getting greedy. Not only is getting harder to watch TV because every network now has their own app, or they will, that you need to pay for to use, but it seems like every network is rebooting just to make profits! Netflix made watching TV without cable a cheaper option. Now I have to pay for all of these apps separately just to watch TV? Is cable going to become the cheaper option again? Or are all of these shows going to be exclusively on these apps? It’s ridiculous!

I digress...Let’s talk about Disney for a second. Raven’s Home became an extension of That’s So Raven. I will say, I think this reboot was done right because it’s about Raven and her kids, but now even shows like Lizzie McGuire are getting rebooted. Yes, we’re all excited to see Hillary Duff back at it in the big city, but who are the target markets for these shows? Are people my age sitting down to watch them? Are families watching these shows together? Do the younger generations know or care about the original shows? High School Musical is also coming back, but this time it’s mocumentary style about the kids who actually went to east high that also do theater. At that point I’d just love to see the original cast do another movie. They really missed their opportunity for High School Musical: 10 Year Reunion if you ask me.

I just want to know when will it all end? Are there truly no original ideas left out there anymore? Are we only able to produce TV shows based off of ones that have been off the air for years, only to bring them back? What’s next? Dharma and Greg, a modern Mork and Mindy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer??? Let’s go back to thinking of these shows fondly, and letting the good ones rest as they were. Eventually the networks will run out of shows to reboot, and the bubble will burst.

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killervibe · 6 years ago

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Lux et Veritas

Prologue: The Summer Before

Summary: When Caitlin's father dies right before Senior Year, Cisco doubts things could get any worse.Welcome to Central City High School.

Notes: Hi. So, welcome to my The Flash-meets-Gossip Girl-meets-Gilmore Girls-meets-Boy Meets World Killervibe fic that nobody ever asked for.

I've spent an awful long time on this, about a month and a half, a little every day, trying to world build. We're in for a ride, because this is just. The. Prologue. Anyways, that said, this story isn't finished. In fact, the next chapter isn't even finished, so I'm going to have to ask you to spare me while you wait. I hope it's worth it.

Also, I'm planning on naming every chapter after either a high school themed movie or song, so if you have any suggests, let me know!

You can also find this fic on ao3!

The dress Caitlin’s mother had laid out on her bed was black, lace and very expensive. Paired with a brand-new pearl necklace and silver shoes that matched the highlights in her hair, she was sure she’d look the most beautiful in her life.

Caitlin didn’t care.

She tore her eyes from the outfit to stare at her reflection in the vanity mirror. Her eyes, red rimmed and her lips chapped.

She sat herself down slowly in the chair as she put some lip balm on to smooth out the flaky skin.

Her finger began to tremble against her mouth.

She wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready to close her father’s coffin shut permanently and dig him in dirt.

She didn’t want to bury him. She didn’t want to hear strangers offer her condolences or go to the meeting scheduled with her mother’s lawyers next week about her father’s will and the conditions of her generous trust fund.

She just wanted him back. She wanted to go back.

On the vanity rested her locket. The silver one with the picture of Dad and her in it from when Caitlin was eleven, and she picked it up delicately to put around her neck.

She checked the group chat on her phone. Nothing.

Why were they silent? Weren’t her friends going to come? She needed them there. She needed someone.

Caitlin was a smart girl. She should’ve been smart enough to realize that the girls in her group chat weren’t her real friends a long time ago. They didn’t care about her. They never had.

They liked her Ralph Lauren blazers and Jimmy Choo shoes. Her house with its indoor pool and tennis courts.

She should’ve been smart enough to see it, and yet, the harsh cold reality of abandonment still slapped hard.

Caitlin didn’t actually have any friends. Not anymore.

Images of curling brown hair, warm eyes and the high school chemistry lab flashed across her mind.

She turned away, cursing herself silently. She didn't deserve anyone.

Caitlin already had her nylons and dress on when her mother walked in.

“The limousine will be picking us up within the hour.” Her mother stopped to look her up and down. “What are you wearing?”

Caitlin looked at herself, confused. “I’m wearing the dress.”

“No, around your neck. Didn’t you seethe pearls I bought you?”

“Oh,” Caitlin said, her hand going to the locket. She looked down at it. “It’s Daddy’s locket. I thought I could wear this instead.”

“Isn’t it a little childish?” her mother replied, brisk. “You’re turning 18.”

Caitlin did not know how to respond, but the tears instantly sprung to her eyes.

Her mother noticed it and sighed, walking into her room and sitting on her bed.

She picked up the abandoned pearls. “Cait, I’m trying here. Stop the tears. Just please wear this necklace.”

“But it’s Daddy’s,” she whispered again, once her voice came back.

Her mother rolled her eyes and fixed her black veiled hat in Caitlin’s mirror.

“Fine.”

Organ music played as the guests filed in. Caitlin was sitting in the front pew of a church she’s never been to in her entire life when someone slid in beside her.

Her gaze, previously locked on her copy of the funeral’s program shifted and her mouth dropped.

“Cisco?”

“Hey,” he said in that hushed voice people only ever used in places of worship. He was wearing a really dark grey suit with his hair pulled back.

He looked—good.

It was the first time Caitlin has seen him up close in months. Definitely since before the summer. In fact, the last time they were this close, she was in his bed, laughing as he fumbled in the dark for—

“What are you doing here?”

Cisco nodded backwards to three pews behind. Barry and Iris waved solemnly.

Caitlin was shocked.

“Iris told me. We’re here for you. Of course, I’m here. Why didn’t you tell me? Caitlin I’m so sorry.” He hugged her.

Her arms layed limp at her sides, frozen numb.

He hesitated for the first time, the pained expression that tore Caitlin’s heart into a million pieces settling over his face. “Do you want me to go?”

“No!”

Cisco’s eyes softened. “You sure?”

“No—” Caitlin stammered. She blinked back to the coffin and grief hit her so hard she almost keeled over. Not just for her father, or her ex-boyfriend, but for forgetting the feeling of someone’s genuine care.

She twisted her nails into her dress, refusing to look at him. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Cisco studied her carefully, probably scrutinizing her different hair, her black painted nails, and the dark makeup on her face. All parts of her from only after.

After everything fell away.

The organ finished playing and the church filled as Caitlin’s mother came to her other side.

“Oh,” she said after a long silent moment. “Francisco. Hello.”

“Hi, Dr. T. My deepest condolences.”

She gave him a long hard glance.

“Thank you. The service is about to begin.”

Halfway through the eulogy, Caitlin’s face was streaming with tears. Cisco reached for her hand and she held it tightly. She didn’t let go.

~.~

It was only after Dad was buried did all of it sink in.

Barry and Iris didn’t come along to the cemetery, saying they’d wait at the reception taking place at her house afterwards.

Her high heels were clumped with mud and she had just thrown her rose into the grave and somehow Cisco was still here.

Somehow he was still here as if they were still together, as if things were still okay, and before she knew it, the minister wrapped up the prayers and she was sobbing into his chest.

She didn’t even remember what he said or what she said. Probably a lot of things that were embarrassing. But she did remember the searing kiss Cisco left on her forehead, how she felt it there for the rest of the day.

~.~

Cisco asked her mom if he could drive her home.

Caitlin sat stiffly in the passenger seat of Dante’s beat up toyota.

She had a migraine, and more stuffed kleenexes in her purse than she could count.

“You got Dante’s car,” she said slowly, when Cisco closed the driver’s door.

“I—Yeah. He bought a motorcycle so we share. But he loves his motorcycle so. Mostly just me driving the car now.”

“How did you let Mom allow you to drive me home?”

Cisco tapped his temple as he put the keys in the ignition, “Super powers.”

Caitlin rolled her eyes.

The rest of the ride was silent.

~.~

The moment she stepped foot into her house, her mother ushered her into the guest hall to greet people and shake hands.

It felt like a part time job at a Walmart or something, like Caitlin should have stuck on a tacky bright vest over her dress and tell people to have a nice day.

She squirmed after accepting condolences from Victor Fry, sensing eyes on her.

She refused to look over her shoulder, knowing that Cisco and Barry with Iris were hanging around the hot buffet table, trying to be discreet with their stares.

Now, as people mingled and chatted quietly as some odd violin quartet played in the corner, the opportunity for either of them to approach her and talk was a highly probable reality.

One that made her nervous. It was easier when there was a schedule and a program and a funeral. Easier when Caitlin was seated in the front row with Cisco, Barry and Iris far behind.

Someone touched her elbow, and Caitlin turned to see her mother.

“Please try to engage in conversation,” she said dully, clearly not in the mood for any of this either. “You’re being rude, daydreaming like that. Only another hour or so and then we can kick them all out, alright?”

Caitlin swallowed, her nails digging into her palms, clenched behind her back.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

Cisco approached with some food.

“Did you eat?” he asked, offering her his plate.

She took a cracker and bit into it lightly, founding it hard to swallow around her dry throat and placed it back.

Cisco’s face was unimpressed. Not because she returned a half eaten piece of food, but because she almost didn’t take it at all.

“I’m not hungry,” she said with a shrug.

Cisco distracted her, and she wanted to slap herself for not seeing Barry and Iris creep closer.

She looked at them, really studied them, taken aback at how they behaved. Natural and kind with each other, not like they were in the middle of the world’s biggest fight like they’d been the last day of school.

A part of her was very pleased (and relieved so relieved) that they were there. Barry especially. Caitlin knew she had royally screwed up there. Iris was different, somehow, because she still saw her quite often and she was in her group chat, even if they no longer ran in the same circles. Iris hung out with Linda, Kendra and Patty who were well liked girls at school, pretty, popular, but they didn’t click with Lexi so that was that.

But Barry was there and maybe that meant Caitlin hadn’t completely destroyed everything.

That maybe there’s a chance…

Caitlin cleared her head, going down rabbit holes was useless.

Her ex-best friends coming to her father’s funeral didn’t mean she was ready to face them. Or anyone.

Except maybe Cisco.

Barry nodded jerkily at Caitlin, asking her to take a walk with him.

He was wearing a black suit two sizes too big, the jacket dwarfing his lanky frame. His hair fell over his face, and he kept sweeping it out of his eyes, as he looked behind, as if he wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t make a break for it and lose him in the crowd.

He was sort of right.

She lagged behind, stopping by the curtains of the window.

Barry twiddled his thumbs awkwardly, like he was expecting her to start first.

She didn’t know what to say.

They stared at each other for a few moments. When it was apparent she wasn’t going to start spilling to Barry everything on her mind, he spoke up.

“I know what it’s like,” he started earnestly. “To lose a parent you love. If you ever want to talk…”

An olive branch. Small, but sincere. Caitlin braced herself, looking out the at the bright sunlight, her fingers pressing against the windowpane.

He put his hand on her shoulder but she flinched. She caught the look on his face: hurt, like she betrayed him. Again.

“I don’t,” she said steely, when she really wanted to just apologize and beg forgiveness from her old friend.

Barry didn’t give up.

“Caitlin, you were there for me when my mom died. I just...if we could put last year’s crap aside. It was so stupid. We can fix it. Me, you and Cisco. We can be us again.”

Barry had always tended to romanticize things. Sometimes the damage has been done. When burning bridges, you can’t expect to salvage what remains. She sighed, but not unkindly, meeting his eyes. “I don’t think so, Barry. Thank you for coming though.”

His face fell more, if possible. “Oh. Okay.”

She watched Barry walk away, knowing she just ruined any chances of ever reconciling with him. But they wouldn’t like her now anyways. She was doing them a favour.

~.~

Little by little the crowd trickled out.

Caitlin was sat in a large leather chair, her mother long disappeared, swirling her glass of water with her finger.

“Hey Caitlin, we’re going to head out now.” Detective West patted her on the shoulder.

“Do you need anything? Food? Errands?”

“We have people for that,” Caitlin replied.

Detective West tsked, rolling his eyes a little. “Yeah, but they can’t make Cecile’s home cooked meals, now can they?”

Caitlin didn’t respond, so Iris’s dad decided for her. “We’ll be back in a few days. Tell your mother to take care,” he told her before ushering Barry and Iris out to the front door.

Barry nodded over at Cisco. “You coming?”

Cisco jerked his head up from where he was taking off his suit jacket, not having paid attention. “What?”

“Do you want to leave with us?”

He stood in the middle of the empty room, a little fidgety. “Oh, I don’t know. I was thinking of staying a little longer.”

Cisco hesitated, looking back at Caitlin for silent confirmation. “If that’s okay with you.”

She stood up, placing her glass down.

Something about the fact that he seemed reluctant to leave left her with a ghost of a smile.

“You can stay,” she found herself saying, too selfish to take it back.

Cisco took that as an invitation to slip an arm around her waist and waved at his friends. “I’ll see you guys later.”

~.~

They retreated upstairs once the final guests left and the staff started hauling out industry sized vacuum cleaners.

Caitlin flicked on the light and kicked off her heels.

Cisco walked into her room, looking around. “Same pink walls. Same skeleton posters.”

“What, you think I remodelled my room just because we stopped hanging out?”

Cisco plopped on her couch, loosening his tie. “You remodelled everything else about you.”

Caitlin sat on her bed, very self conscious.

Cisco shifted, pulling something out of the couch cushions.

“Hey, is this my hoodie? That was my favourite one, I thought the dryer ate it.”

Caitlin snatched it away. “Piss off.”

“Oh, so we’re swearing now. That’s new.”

Caitlin rolled her eyes.

Cisco seemed totally unbothered. “Remember that time when we just finished midterms, and we’d just had like, the most intense makeup sex for all the times we skipped on dates to spend studying, and we were in your bed when your housekeeper Molida knocked, and you pushed me in the closet and grabbed the first thing you could find to wear to open the door and it was this sweatshirt? Oh man, she knew right away what we were up to,” he chuckled at the memory, throwing his feet up to lie down properly, sprawled against the couch.

His hair splayed messily as he tilted his head up against the leather arm to look at Caitlin, albeit upside down. “Does Molida still work here?”

Caitlin stared wide-eyed, clutching her lace dress by her sides. She nodded mutely.

Cisco seemed to realize what he said and pulled himself upright. “Uh. That probably wasn’t appropriate to rehash right now. Sorry.”

Her surprise wore off. “No, it’s fine.”

Cisco balled up his hoodie, playing with its drawstrings. “Y’know...This is pretty soft, but I bet I’m comfier.”

“Cisco…” she warned.

“Sorry. I tried.”

She huffed.

Cisco sat up more. “So. How are you doing, Caitlin? Really.”

She picked at her nails. “I can barely breathe.”

How was she supposed to feel? How do funerals even work? Yeah, you go stare at the corpse of someone you loved and depended on for the entire 17 years of your life as people who you’ve never seen before cry about why your loved one was so special.

Then you drive miles away to a cemetery to watch a big truck dig dirt in the ground for where they’re now going to go forever until they decompose into dust.

Then, you eat food. Then it’s over.

And everything resumes to normal.

They expect everything to go back to normal.

Like Caitlin could ever get things back to normal.

She blinked rapidly.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped as she began to wipe away the rush of tears again. “I just—”

Cisco was already by her side, “There’s nothing you need to be sorry for.”

—They both knew that was a lie—

“I miss him. I miss him and I don’t know what to do, how am I going to go to school and apply to college and—and turn 18 without him here.”

“I know,” Cisco soothed.

“And I feel so bad because he was in so much pain. It’s bad that I want him still here when he was suffering, but Cisco, I need my dad, things with my mom are so bad and she keeps telling me I’m being a baby about this, like I should’ve been prepared since we knew he was dying but doesn’t she know that’s easier said than done? What am I supposed to do? Erase all the memories of him from my brain? Not love him anymore?”

She looked at her hands and winced at the black smudges of her mascara.

Cisco hopped up to go to her bathroom and returned with wet towelettes, wiping the streaks on her face away.

“There,” he whispered gently. “Caitlin, you feel how you feel. Grief is real and it doesn’t go away in a day.”

She looked down at her lap. “Why are you really here? Why don’t you hate me?”

“Caitlin, you know that what had happened was a big misunderstanding. I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you. I’d never."

She felt herself slipping as she leaned forward, her fingers inching their way across her duvet cover for him.

He took her hand like he did during the funeral, and she felt her heart do that thing. That jittery fluttering thing.

They were close.

She didn’t like the way he was looking at her. She loved the way he was looking at her.

She got up to throw out the wet wipes and wash her hands.

“Soooo…” Cisco drawled, his voice carrying over the rush of water from her sink, “Senior year, huh? You ready?”

“No.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

Caitlin hedged at the edge of the bathroom door.

“Um, how’s Barry and Iris?”

She was curious, based off the short stiff conversations she had. “I didn’t really get the chance to talk with them about that.”

That was a nice way of putting it, not like she sort of turned the corner every time she found to be in the same room as them after what happened with Barry.

Caitlin was glad he didn’t say what she deserved. Why don’t you ask them yourself?

It was too much.

Cisco’s face lit up. “Ooooh, you’d never believe it. They finally did it!”

“No!” Caitlin perked up immediately, walking back and sitting at the opposite end of the couch. She drew her knees to her chest, deliberately avoiding Cisco’s legs spread out along the cushions.

“She and Eddie broke up?!?”

They fell into the easy old habits of teenage gossip. The revolving drama around Barry and his decade long pining on Iris. She was happy for them. She truly was.

The last thing Caitlin remembered was the awkward dance they were doing after Eddie found out that Barry was in love with his girlfriend.

Cisco was nice about it, like Caitlin didn’t wreck a relationship and almost ruined Barry’s most coveted friendship in the process.

It turned out Eddie broke it off the day before Iris was about to break up with him, both knowing her feelings were stronger for Barry than they were for him.

“So now they’re dating? For real?”

Cisco nodded, “Oh yeah, it’s pukey. Power couple, definitely contenders for Homecoming King and Queen. I mean, unless they’re up against us, that is.” Cisco winked.

Caitlin looked down at her lap, blushing. She forgot how much Cisco flirted. She forgot how much she liked it.

Her stomach grumbled.

“Hungry?”

She shrugged, “There’s probably leftovers from downstairs.”

“Uh, you mean those frou frou crab puffs and asparagus squares?” Cisco scoffed and got up, “Nah, we’re not doing that.”

Caitlin cocked an eyebrow, watching Cisco pace around her bedroom.

“What do you want? We’re gonna feast. I’m talking all your favourites. Let’s go, I want this entire bedroom filled with junk and I don’t wanna hear one complaint.”

Caitlin bit her lip holding in her smile. “...I wouldn’t mind a Big Belly Burger.”

“Yes!” Cisco crowed, pumping a fist. “...And?”

“Starbucks? A mocha.” Her stomach grumbled again. “I want fries.”

“You got it, babe. I’m gonna Uber Eats the shit outta them.”

The endearment slipped and Caitlin didn’t correct him.

“Hey, where’s your mom? Does she want anything?”

From Big Belly Burger? Hardly.

“She went to her study. She said she wanted to be alone.”

Caitlin watched Cisco give out his gigantic order over the phone, frowning when he batted away her mother’s credit card.

“Yeah, can I order a double—make that triple—cheeseburger with ketchup, mustard and fries. Yeah, and two California burgers with ketchup, mustard tomato and extra lettuce,” Cisco paused, putting his hand over the phone speaker, “You still like extra lettuce, right?”

She nodded. He stuck out his tongue and mouthed out ‘weirdo’.

“Right and I’ll add two large fries to that order. Thanks, yeah man, debit.”

It was night, Caitlin realized distractedly, when the doorbell rang and she looked outside to find it was dark.

The food came quickly, and Molida helped Cisco carry it all up. Caitlin avoided the sneaky looks she gave them as Cisco prattled on happily about bumping into her in the hallway.

She knew what this looked like. She shot Molida a glare.

Caitlin wasn’t going to end up in only Cisco’s hoodie tomorrow morning. She wasn’t.

Molida found a red picnic tablecloth and they spread it across the floor, then dug into the food, sitting together against the foot of her bed.

When Caitlin’s fingers were salty from fries and Cisco was lying against the tablecloth with his arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling with a Twizzler hanging out of his mouth, she knew she was in big trouble.

She threw a wrapper at him, and he batted it back lazily.

“So how was your summer?”

Cisco turned to his side and squinted, “Promise not to be mad?”

She gulped. “Promise.”

“I got the summer internship at Star Labs. I’m not going to lie—It’s awesome.”

Caitlin pushed down her flair of jealousy. She’s always wanted to intern at Star Labs. They both had. It was their dream. They were going to apply together and hopefully work together and then spend all of their lunch breaks kissing. But doing that would be like the daughter of McDonalds working at Burger King. Her mom was pretty strict that all her volunteerism and job experience in research would be for Tannhauser Industries.

“I’m not mad! That’s super cool! How did you get it?”

“Professor Stein wrote me a letter of recommendation.”

“Seriously, I think that’s great.”

He gave her a side-eye. “Really?”

Caitlin swallowed down the lump in her throat. “Yes, of course. What is it you’re working on?”

Caitlin couldn’t help smiling along to Cisco’s vivid description of the particle accelerator project the lab was working on, how it will revolutionize Central City’s energy economy and possibly be the biggest metropolitan advancement in physics since the adaptation of electricity—Sounded like a stretch on Cisco’s part— but it did seem pretty cool.

“What about you? Any cool internships?”

Caitlin shook her head. “...No. I mean, does it really matter?”

Cisco frowned. “You were the one who told me it did. That it would look good on our college aps.”

She folded her hands in her lap tightly and put on a strained smile. “Well it’s not like I had the time after all, now did I?”

“What do you mean?”

Caitlin blinked. “Cisco, I watched my Dad die.”

Cisco’s smile fell off his face. “Oh Caitlin.”

“I’m sorry, that came out badly. I—It’s all I can think about today.” That and him. “I’m not fun. You should go home.”

“I didn’t come to have fun, Caitlin. Or to get back together.”

He paused, “I mean, unless you want…”

“Cisco.”

“Right, ignore me,” he sighed. “I came because you’ve been my best friend since Kindergarten and no matter what’s going on between us, I still want to be there for you.”

That meant a lot, actually. Something Caitlin couldn't put in words. She had always had Cisco, always have had him by her side, that used to be fact. These past few months have been horrible, Caitlin no longer certain that any of the things or people she believed in were true. But that, what Cisco just said, was like a soothing balm.

“Thank you.”

Cisco pushed some trash out of the way, scooting closer.

“Would you like to talk more about him? Your dad?”

Caitlin shook her head no. She’s had enough right now. Maybe later. “Distract me? Please?”

Cisco fished in his bag for one last fry. “Okay, yeah, I can do that. What else did you do then this summer? I doubt Miss I Read Tolstoy For Fun sat on her ass and did nothing since July.”

Caitlin twisted her fingers, “I hung out with Lexi.”

He groaned, flopping back onto the tablecloth, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“Nooo, why?” he whined.

“She’s not that bad. She looks out for me. And she was very supportive about my dad.”

Cisco peeked from under his hands, “Yeah, uh huh, I’m listening. So, I’m just wondering, do I need glasses or something because last time I checked she was not there today.”

Caitlin opened her mouth, then closed it, thinking back to the hurt she felt when the group chat didn’t respond to her texts that morning.

If Caitlin were to be honest with herself, she didn’t expect much from Lisa and Shawna. Lisa probably forgot and she doubted Shawna even checked her phone since her boyfriend came back from college this summer.

But Lexi promised she’d be there.

“I’m sure she had a good explanation.”

Cisco’s eyes softened. “She doesn’t deserve you.”

“She protected me because she thought you hurt me. You don’t know her,” Caitlin accused.

Her phone beeped. Caitlin looked.

Omg Caitlin I’m so sorry an emergency came up. I wish I was there with you!!! Feel better lots of love, xoxoxo.

She flashed the text at Cisco. “See? She had an emergency.”

“What, did she break a nail?”

“Cisco!”

“I don’t trust her.”

“You don’t have to,” Caitlin snapped. “She’s my friend. Not yours.”

She saw the way Cisco made a funny face. His eyebrows pinched, mouth open like he wanted to argue more, but changed his mind.

They’ve argued so much this year over stupid, pathetic things.

“Okay,” he said shortly, and Caitlin knew the topic was dropped.

“So, have you, um, been seeing anyone?” Cisco asked her, trying to sound casual.

Caitlin picked at her nails. “No.”

“Nice,” Cisco replied. Then quickly shook his head, gesturing rapidly. “No, I don’t mean, like, that’s nice. It’s not, it’s so not. Anyone would want to date you, like why aren’t guys lining up to date you.”

Cisco went beet red as he stuck his foot in his mouth. “I just meant like, nice. You know like, um...nice,” he finished lamely.

There was a pause. Caitlin’s cheeks were also aflame, paired with the burning need to ask him the same thing, but she was terribly afraid of his answer.

“Have you?” she choked out.

“No,” Cisco said quickly, averting his gaze. He laughed dryly. “I’m kind of still hung up on my ex.”

“Oh.”

“I really like her. She’s the prettiest, smartest girl in school. I’ve known her forever. Since Kindergarten.”

Caitlin bit on the nail of her thumb, trying not to smile.

Cisco caught her, and his smile widened. “She has big brown eyes and the loveliest speaking voice.”

“Cisco,” she mumbled, losing battle as she fought the dangerous effects of his playful grin.

“Her name is Melinda Torres.”

She gasped. “Oh, screw you,” Caitlin spluttered, pushing him away, pelting him with empty fry cartons.

Cisco cracked up. “We were six, Caitlin! When are you going to let it go?”

“When you stop claiming she was your first girlfriend,” she shot back, falling easily into this old silly, stupid argument.

She leaned back, supporting herself with her elbows bent behind her on the floor.

“I kissed you first.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t like it.”

“That was a mistake,” she huffed, her nose up in the air, pretending to be haughty.

“No, you’re right,” Cisco admitted. “It was. Crazy eight-year-old me.”

“Remember when we were ten and Hartley pushed you in his locker?”

Cisco propped up on his elbows too, mirroring her. “Ooh, and he denied it like the dick he is? Pretty sure that was the birth of my claustrophobia.”

“That’s how I feel,” Caitlin admitted, looking aside. “Like I’m trapped. I don’t want things to be like this.”

“Like what?”

He was going to make her say it, wasn’t he?

She hated how her voice shook.

“Like everything is broken. I miss you.”

“Caitlin, I swear all you have to do is say the words and all of this could be over. I still—”

“Stop,” she pleaded weakly. She had to shut that down, because if she let him continue, if she let him keep talking... then she might listen. “Just. Please. Not now.”

Cisco stopped talking, but came closer, sat next to her as their backs rested against the side of her bed, and now they were brushing shoulders.

Cisco reached up on the bed to find his phone that he dropped there but instead found the gift box with the pearls instead.

“Woah,” he said when he popped the lid. “Pretty sure this is worth more than my entire house.”

Caitlin rolled her eyes. “It’s from my mom. I hate it.”

Cisco was skeptical, picking it up and admiring it. “I dunno Cait...This looks fly to me.”

“She thinks she can buy my sadness away.”

He was distracted by what looked like a pearl count. “Huh?”

“Mom tried to force me to wear that with this dress instead of my locket.”

Cisco’s eyes flickered back to hers at the mention of the locket. Caitlin reached for it, gripping like it was her lifeline. “You know Daddy gave this to me. And she said I was being childish for caring about this.”

Cisco put the expensive pearls down, and placed a hand on Caitlin’s knee.

“It’s not childish. Look, Dr. T is cool and stuff, but I know she doesn’t like me all that much, and she’s whack for controlling how you choose to continue the memory of your dad.”

Caitlin leaned her back against the edge of her bed, her lips parting as she listened, her eyes attentively on his.

“That locket has sentimental value she can’t just like, turn you into her. Like an ice princess Barbie. You’re smart and special and gorgeous and you.”

“Cisco,” she breathed, her eyelids going heavy as he continued passionately. She hung onto his every word.

“And so screw her then. Whatever. She didn’t want you to wear your locket? Well you still did. You have autonomy Caitlin, you do what you want.” He reached forward, dropping his licorice and taking the locket in his hand.

He fiddled with it as he kept talking, unclasping the hook. The little pendant swung open, revealing the picture of her father wedged in the frame.

“That’s a nice photo,” he murmured.

“I switched it out.”

Cisco looked up. “Right, of course. It would be weird if you still had my face in your necklace. We’re not dating anymore. And especially wearing it today. He’s the one who gave you the locket, it makes sense you have your dad.”

He played with it some more.

Caitlin hoped he couldn’t hear the way her heart was beating out of her chest.

“I never noticed the fine details before. This has actually really nice engravings. Is it silver?”

He flipped the pendant twice. His thumb accidentally slid on the tiny glossy photograph, causing it to move out of place.

Her dad’s picture stuck to his finger, and when he pulled away he was met with the old image of himself.

He went quiet.

“Oh.”

She looked up and said, “It’s hard to get it out once its in.”

“Right.”

She leaned forward, his hand still clasped around her necklace, with hooded eyes. She hesitated, an inch from where she wanted him. Cisco’s eyes fell to her mouth, his own opening slightly.

She tilted her head and kissed him.

A warm feeling spread through her chest as she clung to him, kissing him desperately, afraid it would be the last time ever.

Cisco inhaled sharply, a surprised moan escaping him before he pressed his lips back, pulling her into his lap.

Caitlin straddled him as his hands moved to her back, holding her through the black lace of her dress. The dress hiked up against her thighs, exposing her legs in nylons.

Caitlin couldn’t stop. Her tongue was in his, fitting perfectly exactly how it used to before.

Her arms snaked around his neck, and Cisco’s head thudded back against the edge of the bed, breaking away shortly so he could catch his breath.

“Caitlin,” Cisco panted out. “Shit.”

“I need you. Please, Cisco. I missed you so much.”

He put his mouth on her neck, against the silver chain, and Caitlin’s eyes fluttered close with a soft mewl.

She gripped onto his hair as he made his way back up her throat, kissing her pulse point, her jaw, her cheek, her lips.

Her mind went fuzzy as arousal pooled dangerously below. His strong hand was on her thigh now, and all she wanted it was up, up, up. She almost wanted to laugh, how good this felt, but it wasn’t funny how much she needed him.

She didn’t know how she went this long without.

Her fingers shook when she reached behind, unzipping her dress. The top sagged forward, bunching around her chest. She pushed it down, exposing what she was wearing underneath, and Cisco’s eyes went dark.

She placed his hands over her bra, and he caressed her gently, then pulled away quickly with a groan.

“No,” he said. “We shouldn’t do this.”

Time stopped. Caitlin felt like she was stuck on fragile ice.

“You...You don’t want me?”

Cisco looked conflicted. “I want you. I want to. I want to so much, but...Baby, your dad just died. You’ve been crying off and on all day. We broke up. I don’t want to do something you’ll regret.”

She swooped in, kissing him deeply. “Then let’s not be broken up. I want this. I need you.”

She grinded into his lap, and he hissed. “I missed you. We’re so good together. You know we are.”

Cisco took a lock of her hair into his hand, marvelling at the new silver highlights. Caitlin unpinned it and it all went spilling out.

“It looks so different.”

“Bad?”

Cisco didn’t reply.

“I’m still me. I’m still your Caitlin.”

She kissed him again, over and over as long as he’d let her, which he always did.

“I don’t think you understand how much I love you.”

Caitlin’s heart stuttered, and she rolled her hips against his again, pulling his shirt out from beneath his dress pants. Her black nails against his warm skin.

“Then show me.”

He whimpered, pressing his face into her bare shoulder. Kissing her there lightly. He tried to pull her dress sleeve back up, but she stopped his hand, and slid it back down, then brought it to her bra clasp.

“Show me, Cisco.”

His fingers unhooked the clasp.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, one tone short of begging, “Yes. Please.”

He lifted her up. Caitlin wrapped her legs around his waist as she pulled off his tie completely, dropping it on the floor.

He detoured around the bed to turn off the lights, then placed her down gently against her duvet.

She snapped his suspenders before he could unclip them.

“Hey now,” he said, and she giggled at his heated gaze. He pulled his wrinkled white button up over his head.

It went dark and she could no longer really see him. But she could feel him all around her, touching her, and she could hear him, whispering softly in her ear, and that was all that she needed.

~.~

Come morning, Cisco was sleeping soundly beside her and she had half the urge to push him away out of sheer mortification. The other half wanted to wake him up and do it all over again.

She poked at his face until he snuffled. He opened a bleary eye, his hair a birdsnest of tangles, but yawned and smiled at her.

And just like that they were okay.

~.~

Cisco had left after breakfast with a quick kiss and a promise to call her at lunch time, skedaddling to make it home to change and get to Star Labs on time. Molida let him out silently, one eyebrow arched high at Caitlin.

“It was nice seeing you again, Cisco. Hope to see you around soon.”

“You too, Molls!”

Caitlin wrapped her arms around the sleeves of Cisco’s hoodie as she stood on her front porch, watching Dante’s car pull out of their parking garage.

Cisco waved before he U-turned then drove down the road.

Caitlin found herself smiling softly, fingers curled into the fleece, unable to stop remembering last night in vivid detail.

Molida cleared her throat.

“Miss Snow?”

Caitlin snapped out of her daze.

“Yes?”

“You might want to um—“ Molida gestured to her own neck. “Let’s get you changed and dressed before your mother wakes, yeah?”

Caitlin burned furiously under the housekeeper’s gaze, slapping her hand over the hickey Cisco left on her throat and followed her back inside obediently in search for concealer.

~.~

Caitlin thought the magazines scattered on Lexi’s bed were pure trash but was somehow talked into taking the Cosmo quizzes anyway.

Lisa painted her nails a bright red as she read the next quiz title. “Are You Good In Bed?”

Shawna snorted. “Bitch, please.”

Lexi dug through her closet, pulling a blue dress out and holding it in front of herself in the mirror. “Oh my god, like we need a quiz to know.”

Lisa high fived her, nearly tipping over her paint bottle, “Preach. Caitlin, when it comes to sex positions you….A. sometimes try different things, sometimes stick to classics. B. Tend to stick to a couple favourites or what he suggests, but you’re not too keen on doing anything out there. Or C…”

Lisa gave Caitlin a feral grin and purred, “Change it up eveerrrrynight.”

Caitlin squirmed, trying to dispel the images of Cisco’s fingers and mouth. “I don’t feel comfortable answering that.”

Shawna rolled her eyes. “Why not?”

Lexi snapped her fingers. “Let’s not embarrass Caitlin.”

Caitlin smiled tightly at Lexi, “Thank you—”

“—She’s obviously a virgin, and there’s nothing wrong with that Shawna.”

Caitlin frowned. “Actually—”

“Fine,” Lisa interrupted. “You answer the question, Shawna. A, B or C?”

And there went Shawna, giving way too much information about exactly how she liked to get it with her college long distance boyfriend.

Caitlin closed her eyes, inhaling through her nose. These girls could be so much sometimes.

Why was she even trying to defend herself?

Whose matter was it whether she’s slept with someone or not other than her and well...Cisco. The only person she’s ever slept with.

She side eyed them, laughing over kinks. Sure, the conversations weren’t riveting, but it’s not like they should be. Caitlin’s been sheltered by her old friends, how they all bonded over science and school.

These girls didn’t care and that was refreshing. Besides, they knew how to be girls how to not be socially awkward. They were bold and flirty and knew what they wanted and weren’t afraid to tell you.

Caitlin admired that. Really, she did.

“So how does this skirt fit on me? I love it, it cost a lot but worth it,” Lexi asked, sucking in her stomach. “It’s Ralph Lauren.”

Lisa and Shawna oohed and ahhed.

Caitlin stopped scrolling through Instagram to look up. “Yeah, that one’s nice. I have it in green. It’s from last season.”

Caitlin went back to Instagram, bored, oblivious to the way Lexi narrowed her eyes.

“Well, whatever. Do you think Ronnie would notice my legs in it?”

“Ronnie? Ronnie Raymond?”

“Yeah, he’s so hot. Don’t you think so?”

Caitlin shrugged, “He used to have a crush on me sophomore year. He’s very intelligent.”

“Shut up!” Lexi shrilled, "No way.”

Lisa looked at Caitlin as if she had three heads, “Well why didn’t you hit that?”

Caitlin frowned. “I was with Cisco.”

“You dropped Ronnie McHottie for Mosquito?”

“Ha,” Shawna snorted. “Cisquito.”

Caitlin bit down on her inner cheek, temper flaring.

“Don’t call him that!”

“Why the hell not?” Lexi demanded, throwing the skirt on the bed. “He fucking cheated!”

“He did not,” Caitlin snapped.

Lexi’s gaze softened. “He did, Caity. He really threw you in for a number if you believe otherwise. Twisted bastard. What’s rule one, ladies?”

Lisa rose her hand like this was a pop quiz. “No talking about our exes unless it’s talking shit.”

Shawna nodded sagely. “Amen.”

Caitlin swallowed, staring down at her phone.

“Caitlin, can you go get my black belt?”

She was glad for the excuse to leave, grumbling under her breath as she walked over to Lexi’s walk in closet.

The black belt was beneath a pile of other clothes, and when she grabbed it, a heap fell to the floor. Caitlin crouched down, picking up the items from where the half fell into an empty Ralph Lauren bag.

She mindlessly pushed three camisoles back into the shelf, when her fingers brushed against something crinkly.

She pulled away the receipt from the bag.

Caitlin couldn’t help but peruse it, curious to see how much Lexi paid for the skirt, even though she knew it was really none of her business.

She stopped short at the date.

Lexi bought the skirt yesterday. At eleven thirty, to be precise. It said so on the timestamp. The exact same time Caitlin was sitting in a church staring at her father’s coffin.

Lexi’s ‘emergency’ was a fashion one.

Caitlin wanted to scream.

She crumpled the paper in her hand and dropped it on the floor, leaving the rest of the fallen items there too.

She grabbed the belt and threw it at Lexi.

“Woah,” Lexi scolded, trying to catch it before the buckle hit the ground. “Aggressive much?”

“Shut up,” Caitlin bit out, gathering her stuff.

“What did I do?” Lexi asked, and Caitlin scoffed, fighting back tears. Lisa and Shawna watched Caitlin with identical judgey faces.

She almost told her off. She should have. Like, how the hell was that okay? Caitlin told Lexi how important it was to her that she’d come, and she promised she would and Caitlin was stupid enough to believe her.

But it didn’t make sense. Lexi was so kind to her, so compassionate and, yes, shallow maybe but supportive.

They’d text until midnight, and eat brownies in Caitlin’s kitchen. She picked her up and helped her out when she had nobody. Why would she do that, if not for she cared?

If she let Lexi go then she’d have nobody.

And yes. She had Cisco, Cisco today, by some twisted miracle of fate, she had him again, but what about tomorrow?

How long before Cisco realizes Caitlin’s not the same girl anymore and leaves her behind.

She wasn’t holding her breath.

Caitlin slowed, putting her Coach purse back down. Maybe she was acting too hasty. Lexi did invite her over today after all. This whole afternoon was dedicated to cheer Caitlin up.

Maybe Lexi’s mother bought the skirt. Or her grandmother. Maybe the store’s printer had the wrong date.

“Nothing,” Caitlin eventually replied. She pulled her hair in a ponytail and adjusted her tank top.

“Sorry, I—” Her eyes wandered up the walls of Lexi’s room, passing along the posters of Shawn Mendes and Cardi B when she spotted a creepy crawly.

“A spider!”

The girls jumped up and screamed as Caitlin sat there on Lexi’s bed, thighs pressing against glossy pages of trashy magazines, her hair blowing every so often with the change of direction of Lexi’s fan.

Caitlin clutched her purse to her chest as Lisa sprayed perfume at the bug per Lexi’s commands and Shawna screamed bloody murder, wondering what the hell was wrong with her, if she could really be this pathetic.

~.~

The last two weeks of summer vacation consisted of Caitlin texting Lexi Laroche during the day as Cisco interned at Star Labs, waiting for three-thirty, when he’d drive over and spend the rest of the evening with her.

They’d swim in her pool, watch movies, and go to the science museum. Sharing ice creams, sharing kisses, sharing sunsets.

It wasn’t their dream of working together at Star Labs like they hoped eight months ago, but it was still good.

~.~

Caitlin wasn’t good.

Cisco eyed her a lot when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Like the time she was hungover from Lexi’s party the night before, when Cisco hadn’t even known that she’d ever gotten drunk.

Like when he suggested meeting up with Barry or double dating with him and Iris and she clammed up and went no, no, no.

Like every time he said he loved her and she’d only kiss the words out of his mouth.

And he’d ask her a lot, if they were good.

And she’d always say they were with a reassuring tug on his hand while hiking along the trail near her estate, or when they had lunches by the streaming brook.

They were good, she’d say as sticky August turned into breezy September, and the first week of classes loomed right around the corner.

“We’re good,” she promised, twisting her silvery hair into a bun before they crossed the street to avoid Lexi’s home.

So they were good.

#killervibe #cisco x caitlin #the flash fic #the flash #Caitlin snow #lux et veritas #tkv fic #Cisco Ramon

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sweethazzababy · 6 years ago

Text

A Good Memory

Harry x reader

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: none

A/N- hey everyone! this is not from the prompt list, but was a request and i really loved the idea of it. sorry if the meet and greet part is awkward and not well written i have no idea what happens at a meet and greet lol so if it’s awkward im sorry i know it is too haha otherwise the rest of it is good! also im really bad with titles lol sorry hope you guys enjoy it :) my ask is always open for requests!

The room feels cool, the breeze from the slow motions of the ceiling fan nips at her skin while Y/N lays flat on her back, hands rested on her stomach. Her eyes are following the repetitive rotations, as the fan spins over and over again. She feels extremely comfortable, relaxed, and at peace as she lays here focusing on the slow motions of the contraption above her. She feels like she can finally breathe. Lately, she’s been feeling very stressed and has always been on the move, never really taking time to just sit down. Even going to bed for about 5 hours a night doesn’t satisfy her need for time to unwind. Deep in her thoughts, she continues to watch the slow motion of the fan above her, zoning out into her mind as she reminisces pointless things.

Harry is beside her, in the same exact position. Humming random tunes to himself, his eyes closed as he appreciates a moment to rest. With a busy life like his, like Y/N, it is rare for him to not be thinking about work. His next career move, his next song, his next tour. His mind is always reeling with creative thoughts and ideas, which can grow to be tiresome. So as he lays down next to his best friend, hands clasped behind his head, he takes a deep breath as if he’s been holding it in for the longest time.

Very little words have been spoken, but with a friendship like theirs, words don’t need to be said. Just being with each other, is enough. The bond they’ve developed over the years is one that Y/N never expected, to say the least. Y/N was never really a friend type of person. She’s grown up to be independent and not reliant on others. Stupid drama and petty fights is what turned off the idea for her. She’s had best friends in the past throughout middle school and high school. None of them stayed. People grow apart, and she understands that it’s natural for that to happen, but she doesn’t understand why it happens. How can people just come into someone’s life and then leave like it was nothing? She’ll never know, and it’s quite sad.

Harry is different. He’s been around longer than anyone, and she sometimes questions him about it, wondering why he even bothers with her. Her life can be kind of a mess at times, and if she doesn’t even want to deal with it, how could someone else want to stick around for her? He never fails to show support for her every day, especially on days when the support is gratefully needed. She’s never opened up to someone like she has with Harry, not even her own parents or her own sister. Family can be judgmental, and she doesn’t want to waste time opening up to them when all they’re going to do is reprimand her for her feelings despite her lack of control of them.

Y/N has always been a hard person to read, but Harry somehow saw right through her the moment they met. He just knows how she feels all the time, like some sort of weird intuition. He’s picked up on little ticks and habits she has when showing certain moods. Kind of like when she’s sad, he knows she always makes a cup of green tea with honey to help soothe her, or she watches reruns of Gilmore Girls to help cheer her up. When she’s annoyed or bothered, Harry notices she bites the inside of her cheek, her eyebrows furrowed together most of the day.

When she’s home sick, Harry already knows to make her his homemade chicken noodle soup, only with no carrots because he knows she’ll eat around them and pick them out. Feeling gross when sick, Y/N always uses a ton of lotions and hand sanitizers to make herself feel better and by the time she dreadfully gets herself up to walk to the drugstore, Harry has already left a basket full of spa remedies by her door.

Y/N does a lot for Harry too, like giving him back and shoulder massages after long days writing in the studio. His posture is God awful, always hunched over when he’s writing. When he comes home from long trips away traveling, she welcomes him home by fixing his house with his favorite candles, and a homemade meal ready for him to devour after he’s been settling for plane food. He goes to her for opinions on song ideas, lyrics, melodies, and she never shy’s away from being honest with him. She’s not harsh, but she will tell him if she likes it or not and will follow up with suggestions. Harry is so appreciative of it. He hates when people praise every little thing he does or are too scared to really tell him the truth. Her opinion is one that he values above most others, because she was there from the start. She knows him, and knows what he is capable of, and she never wants him to settle for a mediocre melody or mediocre lyrics. Y/N pushes Harry to be his very best, and often times he needs someone like that. She knows him better than he does.

He’s her rock, and she is his. She never expected for their friendship to grow the way it did, but she wouldn’t change anything. She truly would be lost without him, and he would definitely feel lost without her.

“We’ve been friends for 5 years.” Y/N blatantly speaks, breaking the silence in the room. Her eyes are still stuck on the ceiling, not turning her head to look at Harry beside her. The sun is on its way down, the warm light peeking through the curtains as sunset approaches and it makes her wonder how long they’ve been laying there for as dusk creeps up on them.

“I know.” Harry responds quietly, his voice a bit scratchy from the limited talk, a warm smile forming on his lips. He truly can’t believe how time flies, remembering the exact moment they met as if it was yesterday.

“Remember when we decided to be good Samaritans and bake cookies for your tour crew during One Direction, and we fucking burnt all of them so bad that the oven started smoking backstage?” Y/N chuckles, her eyes crinkling as she slowly grins remembering that moment.

“Yeh, the fucking fire department showed up, all because I forgot t’set the stupid timer on the oven.” Harry shakes his head in disappointment, clicking his tongue.

“Idiot. Those cookies had potential to be the best cookies in the world and you ruined their chances.” Y/N teases, sarcastically disapproving of his failed attempt at setting a timer. A laugh slips from Harry’s mouth at her remark, playfully knocking his leg against hers.

“Oh, shut up.” Harry counters. He chuckles softly to himself, the memory playing through his head like a movie. They got into so much trouble for that, no matter what the intention was. Never again have they attempted baking because that tragic scarring moment scares them away from the idea of it, worried they might burn the house down.

“Y’know what’s crazy?” Harry chimes again, his head turning to his left to look at her as his hands move from behind his head to rest on his stomach like hers. Y/N turns her head to face him, their eyes meeting. Harry has the most beautiful pair of emerald eyes that she knows she can get lost in every moment she sees them. She knows they’re friends, but those eyes, fuck they mess with her brain.

“What?” Y/N raises her eyebrows, curious to hear his thoughts. His eyes leave hers as he glances off into space, a smile forming on his lips before he speaks.

“We wouldn’t be friends if you hadn’t come to our concert.” Harry lets out a breathy laugh, his eyes meeting Y/N’s again. Y/N rolls her eyes with a smirk, giggling to herself.

“What can I say, I was a diehard Directioner back in the day.” Y/N sarcastically teases, the memory flooding back into her thoughts making her smile wider. Crazy how one day can change your life forever. And she knew in that moment her life wouldn’t be the same.

“Oh stop the bullshit.” Harry shakes his head with a smirk, knowing very well that she wouldn’t have gone if her sister hadn’t dragged her there with her two cousins. “I owe your sister a huge thank you for forcing you to go.”

Y/N takes her view away from the ceiling and turns her head again to face Harry who is gazing at her softly, and almost lovingly in a way. Y/N’s lopsided smile makes his heart warm as he laughs, the two of them reminiscing over past memories.

Y/N was never a fan of One Direction, that is until her and Harry became close. She remembers exactly how that night went, from start to finish. Her sister Sara was crazy about the band, posters on the walls and their songs constantly being played through her speaker in her room as she danced around joyfully. The Take Me Home tour was her sister’s first concert, to her favorite band and Sara was the happiest she’s been in a while. As a surprise, Y/N and Sara’s aunt got VIP tickets for them and their two cousins with Meet and Greet tickets. Sara cried so hard when she found out, and as much as Y/N wasn’t that big of a fan, she was pretty excited too.

That night, meeting them is what changed everything.

Walking backstage Y/N’s hands are shaky despite not being a huge fan. Is she really meeting One Direction? Girls would probably kill to be in the position she’s in now. Next to her, her sister Sara is already crying, hysterical.

“Please clean yourself up, you don’t want to look all messy in the picture do you?” Y/N says, wiping her tears away.

“Y/N, you don’t understand! I’m meeting the loves of my lives tonight, I feel like I’m fucking dreaming right now.” Sara says through sobs, her body shaking as they’re waiting to meet the boys.

When it’s their turn, they walk into the room and there they are. All five of them joking around with each other, laughing. Sara’s eyes widen next to her, and her two cousins are star struck as well. The boys all say hello as Y/N, Sara, and her two cousins walk to them to greet them. First, there’s Louis.

“Hello, love how yeh doin’?” Louis excitedly asks, a playful gleam in his eye. Y/N smiles, as he goes in for a hug. Giving Y/N a tight squeeze, she smiles appreciating how nice he is.

“I’m great, how are you?” Y/N politely responds, letting go from his grasp. Louis gives her a cute smile, nodding his head.

“I’m doing lovely! I like your shoes.” Louis points to Y/N’s feet, a pair of black and white van sneakers.

“Thank you!” Y/N giggles, then moves to Niall and Liam.

“Hello, how are ya?” Niall asks, moving in to hug her. Y/N looks over to Sara who is tightly hugging Zayn, tears streaming down her face.

After meeting Zayn, Niall, and Liam the last person is Harry.

“Hi! Nice to meet yeh.” Harry holds his hand out politely, and Y/N takes his hand in hers and shakes it with a warm smile. As he speaks, his eyes never leave hers.

As Sara and her two cousins take pictures with the others, Harry stays talking to Y/N.

“You a fan?” Harry skeptically asks, a playful smirk on his lips as he already knows the answer is most definitely a no. His tight skinny jeans have a giant rip at the knee, his plain white t shirt is sheer enough to show the obnoxious butterfly on his stomach and Y/N can’t help but muffle a laugh knowing he might regret it one day later.

“What are yeh laughin’ at? Got something on my face?” Harry’s eyebrows draw together as he rubs his cheeks and around his lips. Y/N shakes her head, giggling a bit at his frantic reaction as his cheeks flush with redness.

“That’s a pretty big tattoo you got there.” Y/N says, pointing at his stomach, poking it playfully. Harry chuckles, shaking his head knowing she’s making fun of it but he doesn’t blame her. As much as he loves it, it is pretty big and obnoxious.

“Oh, yeah you see its purpose is to cover my two extra nipples.” Harry sarcastically remarks, poking the two nipples that are out of place and partly covered by the butterfly’s wings. A loud laugh slips from Y/N’s mouth, crinkling her eyes and Harry smiles foolishly, dimples forming on his cheeks.

“You do not have four nipples.” Y/N’s eyes widen, gaping. Harry just smirks, thinking she’s kidding because it seems to be the one thing everyone knows about him. But she’s not. She’s never heard this information before and quite frankly, she finds it funny.

“D’yeh really not know? I guess you aren’t a fan.” Harry questions, his emerald eyes sparkling at this newfound information…liking that she doesn’t know something stupid like that. Someone that doesn’t know anything about him really…except that he sings.

“Why is that so surprising? Is that something I should know?” A corner of her mouth lifts, curiosity gleaming in her eyes. Harry’s large hands find their way to his pockets, as his body relaxes into a slouched state.

“That’s like the number one thing people find most fascinating about me.” Harry informs, shaking his head at the ridiculousness, his smile slightly fading as he shuffles, leaning on one foot to the other.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N says, a genuine tone in her voice as she softly looks at him, kind of feeling bad. Why is that kind of information so important? What about is music?

“Why d’yeh say that?” Harry quizzically glances at her, his eyebrows pulling together at her apology.

“It sucks that that’s what people care about, you know? The amount of nipples you have has nothing to do with who you are…so I’m sorry. Because from what I can tell, you seem pretty cool and more people should know how cool you are.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders, as if what she just said is nothing. But Harry is dumbfounded. Dumbfounded in the best way, because someone understands him and sees him as just a guy who loves to perform. All of the pointless media has been getting to him lately especially with his rumored flings that aren’t true in the slightest. He’s intrigued with this girl…because she already feels like a better friend than most of the ones he’s made after One Direction.

“I don’t think you understand how much I appreciate that.” Harry says breathily, placing his hand over his heart as he genuinely takes in her thoughts. His eyes meet hers, and he grins at her as she holds her hands behind her back rocking back and forth on her heels. “Not many people really get it, you know. Of course, the other boys do since they’re in the same position as me. But sometimes it sucks, you know? Why do people care so much about who I’m dating…I know it sounds stupid for me to complain when people would kill to be in my position—”

“No, no Harry I get it. You’re more than someone’s fling…but I mean, four nipples is a pretty fascinating phenomenon.” Y/N lifts an eyebrow playfully with a small giggle and Harry rolls his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose as a smile forms again.

“You’re really something, aren’t yeh?” Harry studied, looking at her with intrigue crossing his arms over his chest as he leans closer to her. “I like talking to you…it’s refreshing.”

“I like talking to you too. And I must say, I am really happy I came to a One Direction concert because to be honest, if it wasn’t for my sister dragging me on my ass to get me here I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.” Her cheeks flushed, feeling oddly happy at the moment. She likes being around him, despite the limited time they had to get to know each other.

After talking with him for a few more moments, the way they’re getting along is so seamless and effortless and it seems too good to be true. She wants to get to know him more, as weird as that sounds. But he’s Harry Styles…he’s probably just being nice, just passing the time. He’ll probably move on from his life and forget about her tomorrow as he meets hundreds of new people. Harry pulls her into a big hug, wrapping his arms around his waist as he squeezes her tight, really hoping it’s not the last one.

Harry wants to get to know her too. There is something really comforting about her, and they already have so much in common that it kind of scares him. He’s so used to being introduced to all sorts of people, formally and informally. But he likes Y/N…and not in a romantic way. He wants to tell her his secrets, open up to her, talk to her about pointless things that no one else would probably care about. It’s too good to be true.

“Oh my god, I was so awkward that day we really don’t need to bring that up.” Y/N covers her face with her hands in embarrassment, shaking her head as if she is trying to get rid of the memory. But she can’t because after all it’s how she met her best friend.

“What? Is it because our topic of conversation was about my nipples?” Harry bursts in laughter, when her face heats up even more as she groans into her hands.

“Harry I swear to God…” Her voice is muffled, a few giggles leaving her lips. Harry’s face is beat red now as well, the laughter getting to him.

“We became best friends…o-over conversation about my-my nipples.” Harry says in between giggles, his nose crinkling up and his eyes shutting.

Y/N playfully slaps his arm, but Harry just laughs harder hunching his shoulders in and bending his knees up to his chest as his laugh echoes throughout the room, piercing her ears but she’s grateful for it because she loves his laugh so much that she can’t even be mad at it.

“Whatever laugh all you want...the nipple conversation worked didn’t it? Wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your nipples.” Y/N tries to explain over his loud cackles, and Harry calms down a little bit as he sits upright from his position, wiping his teary eyes.

Sitting up with him, she leans her head on his shoulder as they both wind down from their antics. Harry takes a deep breath, recuperating. A small chuckle slips afterwards, as the memory of that day replays in his head.

“I really appreciate you, y’know. You’ve always understood me when no one else did.” Harry leans his head onto hers, closing his eyes.

“Don’t get all sentimental on me...you know how much I hate that.” Y/N groaned, but Harry just smiles wider, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her so tight she can’t breathe.

“Oh stop, you love me.” Harry gloats, Y/N starting to giggle again.

Harry might voice it more, but Y/N is pretty sure she would die without him. He’s been there for her in ways like no one else has, and that day that they sparked conversation about his four nipples, as dumb as it sounds, is such an important one. Because if it wasn’t for that, she wouldn’t have met her best friend. And that, is a world she can’t imagine.

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left-myself-in-the-alleyway · 6 years ago

Text

Thank You

Description-You’d had a bad day, well more like a bad month. After some classic high school drama you come back to Avengers tower and eventually end up breaking down and having a good cry with a special person coming to lend a shoulder.

Warnings-crying, anxiety, mild swearing, fluff????? The fact that I write 1st person??? And that I’m a horrible writer???

A/n-having three long cries in the last twenty-four hours and seeing some stuff similar to this on Pinterest I decided that I needed to write this. Also, I’m horrible at writing, so sorry. Also, minor Gilmore Girls reference for any of you who catch it.

Pairings- Peter Parkerxreader

Disclaimer- I own none of these characters but I do own this idea... somewhat. Rights go to Marvel.

“And with the addition of the thermal-“ *bell rings* “-we’ll finish tomorrow. Don’t forget about your midterm on Monday!” The teacher yelled as the students fled as fast as they dared.

I’m so happy this day is over. I got two pop quiz’s today and I forgot my band instrument meaning I had to skip band- the only good part about school.

So overall it had been a crummy day, well, more like a crummy month. Between training with Nat and missions every weekend and homework on top of it all I haven’t had much time to unwind.

I don’t need anything from my locker so I’m hoping to make a quick escape.

“Y/n!”

Or not..

“Look, I know we haven’t been able to hang out much lately but I’m really busy with my internship at Stark industries-“ I started, not wanting a fight with y/b/f/n.

“Cut the crap Y/n, your internship is as fake as Peter’s. You made it up because you want to look cool,” She snapped. “You don’t have time for me because you don’t want to make time for me. If you’re not going to put any effort into our relationship, neither am I. We’re done.”

I just stood there stunned. Honestly, I’m not sure how to feel. She never really was a good friend in the first place, but it still stung. Though, with everything piling up, it just seemed like one more thing to deal with.

On my way home it had started raining and since I walk to and from the tower to school I was stuck in the downpour. As much as rain is my favourite weather, today was just not the day. Especially since I hadn’t applied waterproof mascara this morning and I was wearing my glasses instead of contacts. So on top of having been poured upon for my 15 minute walk back, I looked like a squinting raccoon while doing it.

Once I finally made it back I immediately headed to the lounge because I had left my headphones in there this morning. But, of course, everyone was in there. Steve,Tony, Bruce and Clint. Natasha was probably waiting for me in the training room with Peter. Goody.

Everyone froze when they saw me, a dripping mess, but I ignored them, grabbed my headphones off the coffee table and made my exit.

Luckily I made it to my room before anything else could befall me. I quickly stripped of my sipping wet clothing and donned my training gear. I also took the time to wipe off my raccoon eyes as much as I could and add on a quick flip of mascara. Once I popped in my contacts I headed to the training room.

On the way there I told myself I would just listen to my music and do my workout since today isn’t sparring day. I found a good playlist on my Spotify and plugged myself in as I walked. Ironically enough “I’m a Mess” by Bebe Rexa started playing.

Though, when I got there my plans were foiled.

“Ah, I see you finally decided to show up. Now that both of you are here I have an announcement,” Natasha starts off. “You guys have deemed yourselves worthy to train with the rest of the group. So I suggest you warm up before the rest of the team gets here.”

As we started stretching Natasha continued, “You’ll each be sparring with different members of the group today. Remember, they’re not here to train you. We’re all here to train each other, so don’t hold back.”

“I can’t believe we get to train with the rest of the team!” Peter exclaimed enthusiastically.

“Yes, so exciting. Yay.” I replied with as much fake enthusiasm I could muster. He didn’t buy it, but he also didn’t push for answers. A nice refresher.

Once the rest of the team arrived we all paired up with someone to spar. I got paired with Clint. Mainly because he’s one of the only people who isn’t afraid to hit a girl. Peter got paired with Steve, then Thor worked with Tony. Natasha just walked around watching Peter and myself.

Peter, of course was doing fantastic. Myself, not so much.

“Y/n, come on! You can do better than me this!” Natasha yelled as I hit the mat, yet again. But I got up, again, and got myself in a sparring position.

I can do this I tell myself. Yet I couldn’t.

I hit the mat again, this time with a very loud thud. I was definitely winded.

As I tried to catch my breath the words, “Peter was ready for this but I guess you aren’t.” Reach my ears.

As my eyes water I stand shakily. “Maybe that’s because I don’t having fricking superpowers,” I snark through my tears. I storm out of the room tears flooding from my face, I didn’t even bother to grab my phone.

I slam the door to my room and fall on my bed. What I did after that, I sobbed. I cried and I cried. I cried about life, about friendship, about failure. What I cried about most of all, was Peter. The fact that he would never love someone like me, someone who couldn’t even keep up with him and was constantly failing.

The knock at my door made me evaluate myself slightly. Yet again having runny mascara, definitely bright red from crying, clinging to my pillow. Yet, I no longer care.

“What do you want?” I manage to sputter our through my tears.

“It’s me, Peter. Could I please come in?” He spoke softly with kindness in his voice.

“Sure,” I mutter. Though he must have heard it as he came in after I said it.

When he entered he looked slightly taken aback by my appearance but, nevertheless, came and sat beside me.

“Would you like a hug?” He questioned.

I answered him by cuddling into his side and holding onto him instead of my pillow.

Besides him eventually running his hand through my hair, that was it. I was and absolute mess who was sobbing my heart out onto the shirt of the most perfect boy ever to exist.

After I managed to calm myself I sat up and apologized. “I’m really sorry, I guess I just snapped,” I sniffled, wiping my tears on the blanket that was sitting beside us. “Is Nat mad?”

“A little, but that doesn’t matter.” He said. “I’m more worried about you. Strong people like you don’t just snap like that. What’s wrong?”

“Just little things piling up over the day. Ever heard the saying that people don’t break over one little thing? But a bunch of little things over time lead them to snap? That kinda what happened to me,” I tried to explain.

“But it doesn’t matter anyways,” I muttered, looking at my hands and feeling really bad for snapping at Nat. “People like me never matter.”

I had mumbled that last part so quietly I didn’t expect him to hear.

“Of course you matter. You matter so much to so many people y/n! It’s just that they often get so used to you being so amazing and wonderful that they take you for granted-“ he paused.

“If you didn’t matter... would I do this?”

He lifted my chin and softly kissed me. He pulled away after a second.

“Thank you.”

Before he had a chance to respond I jumped up and ran out of the room and down the hall as fast as I could. I could hear him following me but the embarrassment kept me going. Though, soon enough, I felt his hand wrap around my arm stopping me.

“Thankyouforgivingmeapitykissandcalmingmedownbutyouhavenoobligationstome.” I rushed out.

After Peter stared at me for a minute with his eyebrows raised he replied.

“It wasn’t a pity kiss, y/n, I actually really like you... and I’m hoping you like me back.” He replied with the softest of voices, yet a deep red blush on his cheeks.

Instead of messing things up even more I opted for just kissing him.. which seemed to work out pretty well.

Peter laughed and spun me around. “Y/n, will you please be my girlfriend?”

“What do you think I’m going to say?” I laughed. “No? Heh, as if.”

“So... how do we explain this to everyone else?” I ask, still giggling.

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igoturbackkid · 6 years ago

Text

Pandora’s Box Part 3 (Dean Winchester x reader AU)

Read Parts 1 & 2 here!

Note: So I know this story isn’t getting like any notes right now but I don’t care cause this is my favorite story right now. I feel like I understand Dean so well and so much better than Michael Langdon so writing him is just so much easier, the story just flows. Anyway, some drama actually happens in this chapter. Originally, I really liked the whole fluffy aspect but I had this idea for the reader to go through a trauma to bring them closer and I personally love this chapter!

Warnings: violence, guns, robbery, trauma, ptsd, this one gets pretty dark but happy ending, I promise!

(gif isn’t mine, found on google. credit to the owner!)

For the next few days you and Dean spent your days texting each other nonstop. It was a mix between strictly friendly and also a bit flirty. Every time you heard your phone ding or felt it vibrate in your pocket you couldn’t help the butterflies you felt in your stomach or your heart beating out of your chest. Conversations with Dean just seemed to flow and there was never a dull moment between the two of you.

Charlie was still gone for the weekend when you were about to close up the shop for the day. You’d been fairly busy throughout the day, your few employees coming very in handy for days like these. You’d tried to message Dean as much as you could while you were there but you were trying to concentrate on working so you two didn’t talk much that day. It was finally the end of the day, the store cleared out, and you sent all your employees home right before you locked the doors. Your phone dinged and you checked and saw a message from Dean. He made some pun about his favorite flavor of pie and it made you giggle and blush. You were distractedly staring down at your phone, too caught up in Dean that you didn’t hear the bell on the door ding, indicating someone had walked in.

Next thing you knew you heard a gun cock and heard in a threatening voice, “Hands up and get down on the ground. This is a robbery, don’t try to be a hero, or I will shoot you.”

Your entire body suddenly froze up out of fear. This couldn’t be real, stuff like this only happened on TV, it couldn’t be happening to you. Terrified for your life, you slowly raised your hands above your head, but not before stealthily sicking your phone down the front of your pants. You slowly kneeled down onto the ground, doing as the intruder asked.

“Good. Now give me the keys to the safe.” he demanded from behind you.

“I-I don’t have them on me, they’re in the office.” you sputtered out.

“Alright you’re coming with me.” the man dragged you by the arm making you lead the way to the back office. Once there you grabbed the keys off a hook before holding them out for him.

“Where’s the safe?” he asked.

“O-o-out front. Under the register.” you stuttered.

“Stay. Put.” he growled at you, forcing your knees back to the ground. As soon as he walked out the office you quickly pulled our your phone, slightly hiding behind the desk in case he walked back in. You just sent a quick text knowing you didn’t have much time.

“Call 911. Robbery at the shop.” you texted to Dean. You quickly double checked the phone was on silent before shoving it back into the front of your pants. You could hear loud footsteps approaching the room as you made sure to look exactly as you did before he left. The man seemed satisfied and pulled you back up to lead you back out into the store. The man pulled a chair over from one of the tables in the store and forced you to sit down. He pulled out some items from a duffel bag that absolutely terrified you. He had a rope in one hand and a bag in the other.

“As much as I’ve enjoyed our time tonight sweetheart, it’s time we parted ways.” he joked darkly at you. He tied both your hands behind you before tying them to the chair. Right as he was about to place the bag over your head the door jingled again.

“FBI! Stop what you’re doing asshole. We got you, it’s all over.” Dean currently had a gun pointed at your assailant. You were thankful for his quick response but also worried seeing as the cops hadn’t showed up yet. It was one versus one.

“Yeah right, you don’t scare me, pretty boy.” he scoffed. The man turned back to you to put the bag on your head when you suddenly heard a gunshot. You looked at the man in horror, not yet processing what had happened. You almost thought the man had shot you but in fact Dean shot him in the leg, causing him to collapse to the ground. Dean quickly approached the man, turning him onto his back, pulling his hands behind him to handcuff him.

Just as Dean was about to untie you the cops pulled up in full force. Dean quickly put away his gun and untied you from the chair, then he pulled out what you assumed was his FBI badge. The cops ran in, guns raised, ready to shoot on sight. Dean had his hands in the air holding his open badge in one hand so they knew he wasn’t the threat.

Once the cops inspected his badge and took in the state of the handcuffed man on the ground they quickly put away their handguns and took action taking care of the criminal. Once Dean was in the clear, he practically ran back over to you, worry etching his every feature as he embraced you.

“Oh my god sweetheart, thank god you’re alright. That text gave me a heart attack, I was so worried I was too late.” he said as he crushed you to his chest. You couldn’t speak you were still in shock as you sobbed into Dean’s shoulder.

“It’s all ok now sweetheart, it’s gonna be ok. I’m here, I’ve got you. I’m not letting you out of my sight.” he promised. After a few minutes of wailing and balling your eyes out, you pulled away and looked Dean in the eyes. He looked heart broken at seeing the state you were in. Dean put his hands to the sides of your faces, his thumbs wiping away the tears.

“So the police are gonna want a statement. We can do it now to get it over with, but if you’re not up for it I can tell them to wait. And then once we can leave we’re going back to your place, I’ll make you some soup, get you some water. We’ll get you into the comfiest pajamas you own and I’ll stay up all night keeping watch. Sound good, sweetheart?” The fact he was so willing to help you only confirmed your feelings for him. But right now you were just grateful for his friendship and his kindness.

You managed to nod your head telling him you approved of his plan. It took you a second but you grabbed his hands and managed to tell Dean, “T-T-Thank you.”

“Oh sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me, it’s my job but I’m pretty sure I’d do anything for you.” his confession made your cheeks heat up a tiny bit underneath all the trauma you were currently experiencing. The cops came over then and with Dean’s help you managed to give them a statement. After that, Dean helped you get outside where they had an ambulance parked outside. Dean helped you to get in so the paramedics could check you out before letting you go. The paramedics prescribed you something to help you sleep at night, but seeing as it was already night, you wouldn’t be getting the medicine until tomorrow. After the paramedics okay-ed you, Dean took you to his car and placed you in the passenger seat. Luckily Dean still remembered where you lived so you didn’t have to find the will to talk to tell him directions. Once you arrived, Dean parked on the street and came to open the door for you. Dean surprised you by pulling you out and carrying you all the way up to your apartment.

“Keys?” he simply asked once you reached the door. You pulled them out of your jean’s pocket before handing them to Dean. Somehow, Dean managed to unlock the door while holding you in his arms. Once unlocked, he kicked the door closed, and walked a few feet into the apartment before setting you down. Once he did he turned back around to lock the front door, even dead-bolting it. When he came back to you, he pulled you back into another warm, loving, hug. You buried your face into his chest, inhaling his scent, trying to remember you were safe now, Dean would take care of you. Dean had one hand around you, holding you to him as the other combed through your hair. You both stood like that for several minutes, basking in the safety of each other. Dean finally pulled away, but still holding onto you.

“Now, let’s get you into something comfy. While you change, I’m gonna make you some soup or something light you can eat. And then I want you to go onto Netflix and pick something cheesy and silly for us to watch. Ok?” he was gauging how much you could handle.

You nodded weakly at him. Dean had already done so much he didn’t need to babysit you as you changed and picked out a movie. You managed to make it into your room and change before the anxiety started coming back. Instead of scrolling through Netflix you walked out to the kitchen to wait while Dean cooked for you.

“Hey, now those are some cute pajamas.” Dean complimented you. You blushed, looking down at yourself, already forgetting what you put on. You had on a pair of sleep pants that had cute dogs on them and some over-sized t-shirt that you owned.

“Alright, I found some chicken noodle soup that I made for you. Who doesn’t love chicken noodle? It’s the ultimate classic soup!” Dean bantered on for a minute, trying to lighten the mood. The side of your mouth managed to lift a tiny bit into the air and Dean took that as a success. Dean carried your soup and grabbed you a glass of water as you both went back into your bedroom. He made you sit down, get comfy before he handed you the soup and placed the water beside you. Dean then started taking off his shoes, his jacket, and his flannel before hopping into the other side of the bed. He got under the covers just like you before grabbing the remote.

“Alright, let’s see what we got here, Bridget Jones, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, or we could watch a show, maybe Gilmore Girls, The Office?” Dean suggested.

You were about to shrug and say, ‘You pick.’ when you caught sight of one of your favorite cheesy romance movies.

“Can we watch The Notebook?” you asked.

“Isn’t that sad though? Like don’t they both die in the end like Titanic?” he asked you. You simply looked at him quizzically, not having expected him to be such a chick flick expert.

“What? I’ve seen them, so what? They’re both critically acclaimed.” he defended himself.

“Just put on the movie.” you told him. Dean stuck his tongue out at you before starting the film. You managed to down your soup fairly quickly and half the water, already feeling more normal again. By halfway through the movie you were feeling absolutely exhausted. Crying always wore you out the most. As you started to feel the exhaustion, Dean put his arm around your shoulders before pulling you into him, you resting your head on his shoulder. You didn’t remember much else of the night other than passing out near the end of the movie, comfortably snuggling into Dean. It had been one hell of a night, one you never wanted to relive in a million years, but Dean got you through it. Dean was your guardian angel that night. You already thought Dean was special but now you knew how incredible of a person he was. You’d have to think of a way to thank him once you no longer had PTSD. Maybe if you were feeling brave you could ask him out, and end the night with some home made pie, made just for him. That sounded good as you drifted off to sleep in Dean’s arms.

@staradorned

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #Jensen Ackles #jensen ackles x reader #Supernatual #dean winchester fan fiction #supernatural fan fiction #dean winchester fan fic #supernatural fan fic

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