#ghar nahi jaana

[ruksarcreations]

❖ Gu-won & Sarang || King the Land [01x08]

[folkloregirlfriend]

mujhe rona aa raha hai

[orangeeesstuff]

I am screaming "mujhe mummy ke paas jaana hai" at the top of my lungs but koi sun nahi raha.

[hi-avathisside]

Guys I have so much to tell you. LIKE so much to tell you.

(not proofread, will read it later lekin mujhe batana tha yeh sab)

Gup-chup baatein, tumhari aur meri . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

So, finally, mera aur uska program ban gaya. Paper tha aur phir hum ghar saath main ghoomte phirte vaapis aane waale the. aur paper ho raha tha na aur him baithe the, toh woh mere poeeche baithi thi aur jab mera paper ho gaya toh maine peeche mudkar dekha aur woh itni sundar lag rahi thi itna bada haaayeeee nikla na mere dil se ki haaye itna khoobsoorat koi kaise ho sakta hai, uske baal khule, uski aankhein paper par aur meri uss par aur uska woh golden chashma jaise uski aakhon ki chamak ke saamne feeka pad raha ho. jaise qoh uski aankhon par ek sundar taaj ki tarah ho, jaise chaand ke asspaas taarein, jaise chaand aur yeh samaan. Hum uske baad paper khatam hone ke baad neeche khade ho kar baat kar hi rahe the ki usne kaha chale? mera muh dekh kar woh samajh gayi ki abhi mujhe nahi jaana, usne kaha haan haan thik hai ruk jaate hain. main hasne lagi. maine kaha ab kya karun mujhe tujhse itni saari baatein karni hai, usne kaha baatein tkh mujhe bhi bohot karni hai lekin tu itna muskura kyon rahi hai aaj hm? ab main usse kya bataun ki muskurahat ki wajah woh, zindagi main khushi ki wajah woh, ye baadal aur yeh baarish yeh halki halki si dhoop joh meethi lagti hai, yeh thandi hawa joh badan ko lagti hai, uska haath mere haath main, aur mere yeh laal gaal, aur chehre par muskurahat sabki wajah wahi toh hai. toh ohir maine kaha ab main kya karu main toh tujhse baat karne ke liye bohot excited hoon. ab min tujhe jitna pyaar karti hoon utna tu mujhe nahi karti, himesha one sided love :'( aur phir woh apna sar hilakar boli draamebaaz kahin ki aur phir hum donon hass diye. Kich der baad hum pohonche, aur khoob baatein kari. mera phone aa rhaa tha aur mujhse woh swipe up nahi ho raha tha, woh phoen baje jaa raha aur main usse uthaane ki koshish kar rahi thi, maine uski taraf dekha aur ohir phone ki aur hum donon khoob zor se hasne lage. phone utha liya baad main vaise maine. uske 2nd floor par itni achhi hawa chal rahi thi. aur humne kich pictures khinchi. Uske saath achha lag raha tha. Shaant lag raha tha. Aur phir humne aas paas jagah ghumi thodi si, ghumein ek saath, aur phir usne mujhse poocha tere phone ka password kya hai? aur maine usse bata diya kyonki usne phone pakad rakha tha aur usse mera wallpaper dekhna tha. aur ab realise ho raha hai ki maine usse apna password aise hi bata diya, bejhijhak aur main usse batana chahti thi. main usse apne baarein sab kuch batana chahti hoon. auruska sab kuch jaanna chahti hoon. aur phir kya, waapis ghar aagaye kyonki usne keh diya ki ab ghar chalte hain main thak gayi hoon, toh maine kaha haan thik hai, kyonki jaana main toh kabhi bhi tumhare saath ya tumse thak nahi sakti. maine usse bola ki ghar pohonch kar message kar diyo aur usne kaha tu bhi, aur muskuraayi. aur mera dil maano udd hi gaya. Bas aur kya, thoda sa pyaar aur ho gaya. Usse itni tez gale laagaane ka mann hua na, aur abhi do ghante bhi nahi hue hain lekin uski itni yaad aa rahi hai.

Duniya main jitna pyaar hoga na, mujhe tumse usse shayad thoda zyada hi hoga.

[heruntoldfeelingss]

You give meaning to all the things I ever heard about love. Things were blur to me but now that I've known you, I can see how much power love holds. You look at me like I'm a piece of art- you call my name like it's your favourite song. I don't feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach - my heart feels safe when you're around. It's the feeling of being home after a long tiring day, no increased heartbeat- I'm at peace. You're my destination, I've been waiting to reach you and now that I have, I don't want to go anywhere else, ever. I want to stay here. Right beside you. You ask me, what can I do for you - love, just stay. And let me stay too. Rest, we'll see - you have me and I have you.

Aapse milke mohabbat k maayne jaane. Sab dhundhla sa tha, ab jo aapko jaana toh yeh bhi jaanliye k mohabbat mei kitni takath hoti hai. Aap mujhe yun dekhte hain jaise mei koi nayaab cheez hoon, mere naam yun lete hai jaise koi khoobsurat gazal ho. Mere dil ki dhadkanein tezz nahi hoti aapko dekh k- mera dil aapki moujudgi mei mehfooz mehsoos karta hai. Jaise koi sukoon ho. Aisa sukoon jo ghar pohochne pe hota hai. Aap meri manzil hai, meine aap tak pohochne k liye bohot safar tey kiye hain. Ab jo aap mile hain, ab jo aaptak pohoche hai, ab yahin mera ghar, yehi mera basera hai, meine ab yahin rehna hai. Aapke paas. Aap puchte hain, k kya karun tumhare liye? Meri jaan- bass rukk jaayein. Mujhe bhi rukne dein. Baaki, saath milkar sab dekhlenge- aapke paas mei jo hoon, mere paas aap hain.

[scarlet-sam-chaos]

yaar log hostel aake maze karte hei and mei yaha raat ke 1 baje kapde dho rhi hu kyoki shaam ko pani nahi tha and kal nahi dho sakti kyoki kal dusre kapde dhone hei and yeh already ek hafte ka backlog hei and bhai hamari rassi yeh ek hi hei and voh bhi bina fan wale room mei kal subha tak sukhne chaiye and upar se ek aur tension ki residential campus ke kutte raat ko muh se gate kholne andar aate hei and kahi kuud ke kapde na chura le toh rector ma'am ko call karwake tala lagana hei and shit ek baje kaise call karu abhi-

yaar ghar jaana hei iss chotu ko, jaane do na

ghar jaane nahi de rhe toh atleast ek washing machine laake do and uhn bathroom ke darwazo ko fix karo joki band bhi nahi hote, bass dhakka maarke hope for the best karna padh rha bro that too in a girls hostel wtf??

upar se kal chutti hei toh kya kya plans nahi banaye thee padhai ka backlog complete karne ka par yeh seniors and hostel walo ka alag hi chakkar chal rha

[gulaab-jaamun-galaxy]

Women's are simple beings... Badi divya aur madhur hoti hai unki dictionary... aur jab ek stree kisi mard se prem karti hai toh aur bhi khoobsurat ho jaati hai uski vaani... jaise...

Here are a few phrases and their meanings...

I need you - You need her

Itni zyada mohabbat karte ho tum mujhse - Main jeeetni tumse karti hoon utna kar paaoge kabhi tum? Huh, Kabhi Nahin!

Can you drop me home - Oye Hero, Baraat lekar nachte-nachte idher udher na nikal jaana, yeh ghar dekh lo yahin aana hai sidhe tumko. Bujhe?

Mere liye aapka prem kaafi hai, mujhe aur kuch nahi chahiye aapse - Chup chap weekly jhumke aur bangles shoppings jaana hai mujhe fir IMAX mein meri favourite movie dekhungi fir main daba ke Paani-Puri aur Momos khaungi fir Park mein ghumi-ghumi karna hai mujhe fir Library mein kitabein pardhte hue coffee piyungi tumhare saath

Apna khayaal rakha karo - Itni si baat tere moti bhuddhi mein kyun nahi jaati hai ki tujhko jitna hurt hota hai usse dugna mujhe hota hai ullu de patthe!

Look what I made for you - Oye Mister, chup chap acche compliments de mujhe baad mein apni sakhiyon ke saamne teri baatein karni hai

Tum pagal ho poore ke poore - Main tumse zyada pagal hoo chuki hoon

Ek thappad maarungi tumhe - Kisi ne ek kharroch bhi di tumko toh chamdi ukhaad dungi uski

Acchi lag rhi hoon na? - Mujhe toh pata hai main acchi lag rhi hoon bas ab tum bhi fatafat meri tareef kardo, mujhe aur bhi kaam hai sunder dikhne ke alawa

Pardhai kar lo tum bhi - Mujhe shaanti se pardhai karne de mere baap!

To know the other side of the list, contact my Ardhangini - @bareilly-wala-jhumka she'll tell you that list... 🌻❣️🌼

[wagairah-wagairah]

Mandir mein baitha hu meko ghar nahi jaana bhai

[thatstolenpayal]

consent sirf sex ke liye hi nahi baaki cheezon me bhi zaruri hai yaar

nahi jaana hai bua ke ghar to NAHI JAANA HAI NAA

[allcolorsinone]

Ghumne firne ki Umar me ghar ki chowkidari karti hu😭

Remote work ka ye Matlab nahi k ghar k sab log ghumne nikal jaye

Roz ka hai

Mera to aaj tak lockdown chal raha hai

Meetings k beech me bell baje to gate kholo,

Kahi atak jao to solution aane hi wala hota hai k tabhi bell baj jayegi,

Sab maze se ghumte hain

Mera kaam khatam hone pe mujhe kahin jaana ho to main hi nahi jaa sakti bas, kyunki main to chowkidar hu na

Utha le mujhe bhagwan, nahi chahiye aise bekar zindagi mujhe😭😭😭

[episodesofdailyjournal]

A Heartfelt post

Read And really know more about Navratri… Raja Daksh ne vardan to maang liya tha Devi Aadhi Shakti ko apni beti ke roop mein paane ka, par apne vachan ka palan nahi kar paaye. Devi ne kaha tha unse ki agar unhone kabhi bhi Devi ko rusht kiya to vo unhe chodkar chali jayengi hamesha ke liye aur aisa hi hua. Jab Devi Sati ki love marriage hui Shivji se, to unhone unke rishte ko accept nahi kiya.

Unki shaadi ke baad Raja Daksh ne yagya ka aayojan kiya tha jisme unhone Shivji aur Devi Sati ke alawa sabko bulaya tha. Devi Sati usme shaamil hona chahti thi par Shivji ne mana kar diya kyunki unhe invite nahi kiya gaya tha aur bina invitation ke jaana unhe thik nahi laga. Par Devi Sati ne unki baat nahi maani aur akeli hi chali gayi. Vaha pohochne par unki maa ke alawa kisi ne unpar dhyan nahi diya. Pehle to sabne unko ignore kar diya aur fir baad mein Shivji ka bhi apmaan karne lage. Apne pati ka apmaan Devi Sati se saha nahi gaya to unhone yagya mein apne praan tyaag diye.

Shivji ko jab pata chala to unhone gusse mein Raja Daksh, Sati ke pita ka sir dhad se alag kar diya aur Devi Sati ki yaad mein idhar-udhar bhatakne lage aur aakhir mein jaakar tap mein leen ho gaye. Rakshason ne iska fayda uthakar devtaon par akraman kar diya. Unme se ek bahut powerful asur tha jise sirf Shivji ka ansh hi maar sakta tha. Aur Devi Sati ki mrityu ke baad unka beta kaha se aata. Isliye fir Devi Sati ne Parvati ke roop mein janam liya Raja Himalaya ki beti bankar. Aur Himalaya ki beti hone ke karan unko Shailputri naam se bhi jana gaya.

Ab Mata Shailputri ka vivah Shivji se karana tha, lekin vo tapasya mein leen the aur unka tap bhang karna, vo bhi tab jab vo extreme sad phase mein the, mtlb mrityu ko amantrit karna tha. To Devi Parvati/Shailputri ne thaan liya ki vo Shivji ko paane ke liye kathor tap karengi aur itna kathor tap karne ke karan unka naam Brahmacharini pad gaya. Finally, unki shaadi Shivji se ho gayi.

Shaadi ke time par Shivji, Devi Parvati aur sabhi Devgan busy the aur mauka dekh kar asuron ne hamla karne ki planning bana li. Jab Devi Parvati shaadi karke Kailash aayi, to asuron ne bhi Kailash par hamla bol diya. Par vaha vo kisi ka kuch nahi bigad paaye kyunki vo Kailash par entry hi nahi kar paaye. Entry kyun nahi kar paaye? Kyunki jab Devi Parvati shaadi karke Kailash aayi, to dekha ki sab kuch bikhra hua pada hai. Ghar mein saaf safai bhi nahi ho rakhi thi. To unhone apne ghar ki saaf safai ki aur fir puja-archna ki, jiski vajah se vaha bahut powerful positive energy utpann ho gayi. Isi karan asur Kailash par entry nahi kar paaye the. Iss incident ki vajah se unhe Kushmanda ke naam se jana gaya.

Iske baad Kartikey ka janm hua. Kartikey ko uss asur ka vadh karna tha jiske liye use bahut achi training ki jarurat thi aur vo training use uski mata se mili. Jiske baad usne uss asur ka ant kar diya. Jiske baad Kartikey ko Skand ke naam se jana gaya tha aur unhe ye naam apni mata ke karan mila tha. Isliye unki mata ka naam Skandmata pad gaya, yani ki Kartikey ki mata, Skandmata.

Ek baar kisi baat ko leke Mata Parvati ki Shivji se behes ho gayi, jiske karan unhone Kailash tyaagne ka decision le liya. Par uss vakt Ganesha bahut chote the aur aise mein agar Mata unhe chodke chali jaati to unhe Mata ka pyaar nahi mil pata aur unka bachpan unki Mata ke bina hi guzar jata. Par Mata ne to decision le liya tha aur vo final tha. Isiliye Mata ne Ganesha ko vardaan diya ki jab tak vo laautengi nahi tab tak vo bade nahi honge, bache hi rahenge.

Ek taraf Kailash par ye sab ghat raha tha aur dusri taraf Mahishasur ne kathor tap kar Shivji ko prasann karke unse vardaan manga ki use koi bhi Devta ya nar maar na sake. Use lagta tha ki sirf ye log hi powerful hote hain, isliye usne sirf males se hi protection maangi, women se nahi.

Idhar rishi Katyayan ne bhi Devi Parvati ka tap kiya aur unhe apni beti ke roop mein paane ka vardaan manga. Fir kya tha, asur to apne character ke hisaab se chal diye devtaon pe waar karne aur unpar vijay prapt karne. Idhar Devi Parvati jo Kailash ka tyaag kar chuki thi, unhone bhi rishi Katyayan ke ghar mein janm le liya jiske baad unka naam Katyayani rakha gaya.

Jab asuron ne devtaon ko hara diya to unhone tridevo se help maangi. Tridev bhi to men hi the, to vo bhi unki help nahi kar sakte the. Isliye unhone devtaon ko Mata ke paas bhej diya. Mata Katyayani unki help karne ke liye maan gayi. Mata Katyayani ne Mahishasur ka ant kar diya aur ghanta baja kar ye shubh sandesh sab tak pahuncha diya, jiske baad unhe Chandraghanta naam se bhi jana gaya.

Similarly, ek baar Raktbeej ne bhi devtaon par hamla kar diya tha aur firse vo Mata ke paas madad ke liye aaye. Raktbeej ko vardaan prapt tha ki jaise hi uski ek bhi boond prithvi par giregi, uske jaise hazaron Raktbeej aur paida ho jayenge. Mata Parvati apni samast shaktiyon ko yaad kar Raktbeej ka vadh karne chali gayi. Unhone Raktbeej ki puri sena ko kuch hi palo mein maar diya, jiske baad unhe Durga naam mila.

Ant mein, jab unhone Raktbeej ka sir dhad se alag kar diya, tab Raktbeej ka khoon prithvi pe girne ke karan hazaron Raktbeej aur paida ho gaye. Mata unhe maarti ja rahi thi, parantu unka to koi ant hi nahi tha. Akhir mein, Mata ne Raktbeej ka sir kaat kar uska khoon dharti par girne nahi diya, balki use apne kanth mein bhar liya. Mata ka ye roop bahut hi prachand tha aur fir unhe naam mila Kaalratri.

Raktbeej ka ant karke ab samay tha unke Kailash lautne ka. Kintu itne prachand roop mein vo Shivji ke saamne kaise jaati? Aur Ganesha bhi to abhi bache the, unhe unki Mata ka ye roop dekhne ko milta to vo kitna dar jaate. Isliye fir Mata ne bahut hi sundar aur shant roop liya aur laut gayi apne Kailash par. Mata ke itna sundar roop dekh Mahadev, yaani hamare Shivji, ne unka nickname Gauri rakh diya. Jiske baad unhe Mahagauri ke naam se bhi jana gaya.

Ab mata Parvati ashtsidhiyan prapt kar chuki thi jiski vajah se log unhe siddhidatri kehne lage. To story ka conclusion ye h ki navratri me hum alag alag Devi ki Puja nhi karte balki ek hi Devi ki ashtsidhiyon ki Puja karte h. Ek hi Devi k 9 naam h. Or iss story se hame ye bhi pata chalta h ki hum chahe to kuch bhi haasil kar skte h bas intention ache hone chahiye or karm nhi rukne chahiye.

Or ek sabse bada conclusion ye nikalta h ki Jo bhi hota h uske piche koi na koi reason jarur hota h. Kuch bhi yuhi nhi hota. Or sabkuch interlinked hota h.

Ye mera nazariya h…. navratri ki 9 days ki alag alag stories se maine ye conclusion nikala h…. You can share yours also.

©Himanshi Dargas

[the-prophecy]

hi bbg how we doing subha se dikhe hi nahi aap toh

Yo ivy subah se college uske baad I went to Nani's house and then my cousins house and kal ek test keliye padhna he abh Ghar jaana he 😭😭

[misssclumsy]

No one Just my mother's obsession over me : bas din bhar phone chalati raho tum, tumhari jitni badi ladki ghar ka saara kaam kar leti hai or tum ye dabba chlati reh jaana saari jindagi, pata nahi sasural jaa ke kya karegi

[om-is-ok]

Lyrics which reminds me of you:

सुरीली अँखियों वाले, सुना है तेरी अँखियों से, बहती है नींदें और नींदों में सपने, कभी तो किनारों पे उतर मेरे सपनों से, आ जा ज़मीन पे और मिल जा कहीं पे, मिल जा कहीं ओ ओ, मिल जा कहीं समय से परे, समय से परे मिल जा कहीं, तू भी अँखियों से कभी मेरी अँखियों की सुन...

Tere liye chaand bhi rukta hai, tere liye oas tehrti hai, yaad nahi tha, yaad aaya...

Chand aasmano se laapata ho gaya, Chal ke mere ghar mein aa gaya, aa gaya... Main khush kismat hoon bakhuda iss tarah, Ho jaaye poori ik dua jis tarah... Tere bin meri jaana kabhi, Ek pal bhi guzaara nahi... Teri aarzoo ne khud se begana kar diya...

तुझे सोचता हूँ मैं शाम-ओ-सुबह इससे ज़्यादा तुझे और चाहूँ तो क्या? तेरे ही ख़यालों में डूबा रहा इससे ज़्यादा तुझे और चाहूँ तो क्या?

Dekha hazaron dafa aapko, Phir beqarari kaisi hai, Sambhale sambhalta nahi ye dil, Kuch aap mein baat aisi hai...

Tum sabah ho, ya ghata ho khekasha ho saiba ho, Subha ki pehli kiran ke jaise, Beba ke alhade pawan ke jaise, Khusboyein tum lootathi ho, Masti mein chur chur, Masha allah, masha allah, masha allah...

Uska hoon, usmein hoon, Us-se hoon usi ka rehne de, Main to pyaasa hoon hai dariya wo zariya wo jeene ka mere, Mujhe ghar de, gali de, shehar de, Usi ke naam ke, Kadam yeh chalein ya rukein, Ab usi ke vaste, Dil mujhe de agar dard de uska par, Uski ho wo hansi goonje jo mere ghar, Aye Khuda, aye Khuda jab bana uska hi bana...

है जो ईरादे बता दूँ तुम को शरमा ही जाओगी तुम, धडकने जो सुना दूँ तुम को घबरा ही जाओगी तुम, हम को आता नही है छुपाना होना है तुझं मै फणा, चांद सिफ़ारिश जो करता हमारी देता वो तुमको बता...

Jab tujhko paata hai Dil muskurata hai, Kya tujh se hai waasta, Kya tujh me dhoondu main, Kya tujh se chaahu main, Kya kya hai tujhme mera, Jaanu na main tujhme mera hissa hai kya, Par ajnabi apna mujhe tu lagaa, Jaanu na main tujhse mera rishta hai kya, Par ajnabi apna mujhe tu laga...

और मिश्री सी तेरी बातें ये, यूँ हौले-हौले याद आ रहीं हैं, और मीठी सी तेरी यादें अब, यूँ रातों में सुला जा रहीं हैं

....

तेरा, तेरा ही, मैं हो गया हूँ सोने के महलों में, तेरा, तेरा ही, मैं हो गया हूँ मिट्टी के शहरों में

Marhami sa chaand hai tu, Diljala sa main andhera, Ek dooje ke liye hain, Neend meri khwaab tera, Tu ghata hai phuhaar ki, Main ghadi intezaar ki, Apna milna likha issi baras hai na, Jo meri manzilon ko jaati hai, Tere naam ki koi sadak hai na, Jo mere dil ko dil banati hai, Tere naam ki koi dhadak hai na...

Marne ka sabab maangta raha dar-ba-dar, Mitne ko toh dil pal mein raazi hua, Poori hui har aarzoo har daastaan meri, Ke tum shuru hue jahan main khatam hua... Kurbaan hua…

Hale dil tujhko sunata, Dil agar yeh bol pata, Bakhuda tujhko hai chahta jaan, Tere sang jo pal bitaata, Waqt se main woh maang laata, Yaad karke muskuraata haan...

Tham gaya ye shama hosh hai laapta tere deedar kar, Rafta rafta sanam tumse mili nazar toh hua hai asar...

खामोशियाँ जो सुनले मेरी इनमे तेरा ही ज़िक्र है खाव्बों में जो तू देखे मेरे तुझसे ही होता इश्क है, उल्फत कहो इसे मेरी ना कहो है मेरा कुसूर कोई हूर.. जैसे तू कोई हूर.. जैसे तू...

Sundar sundar woh haseena badi sundar sundar, main to khone laga, uske nashe mein bin piye behka...

Kisi shaam ki tarah tera rang hai khila, Main raat ek tanha tu chand sa milla, haan tujhe dekhta raha kissi khwab ki tarah jo ab samne hai tu ho kaise yakeen bhala, Toota jo kabhi tara sajna ve tujhe rab se maanga rab se jo maanga mileya ve...

क्या कह के गया था शायर वो सयाना, आग का दरिया डूब के जाना, तू सबर तो कर मेरे यार, ज़रा सांस तो ले दिलदार, चल फिकर नू गोली मार यार है दिन जिंदडी दे चार, हौले हौले हो जाएगा प्यार चलिया, हौले हौले हो जाएगा प्यार

Par uss ladki ka thoda alag andaz, Ankhey nashili uska chehra noorani, Jab chalti thi lagti thi, Dunia ki rani, Meethi meethi uski batein, Uski apni ada thi vo sabsey juda...

[hi-avathisside]

Trigger Warning: Mental health, indications of suıcıde

Sept aa gaya aur pata bhi nahi chala, aaj teachers day hai aur pichla teacher's day mujhe bakhoobi yaad hai. yaar yeh samay bhi na kitni ajeeb cheez hai jitni upma se upma karu kam hai, kahu ki yeh samay inn ghirte- hatte baadlon ki tarah hai aur inn patton ke girne ki tarah hai aur iss toofan ke jaane ki tarah hai. yeh samay woh pighalti ice-cream ki tarah hai, woh signal badalne ki tarah hai, achaanak aane waali modoslaadhar baarish ki tarah hai aur aasmaan mai. ek indradhanush ki tarah hai toh bhi shayad kam hoga. Yeh saal kaise beeta pata hi nahinchala, yoon bhadrapad aa gaya aur keval kuch mahine hi bache hain yeh saal khatam hone main. yeh samay bhi na bohot kamaal hai. Pichle septmeber mujhe laga tha, ki shayad nahi ho paayega. Yeh zindagi, mujhse nahi ho paayegi, kyonki yaar mushkil hota hai, har din hospital jaana aur phir kaam, kaam aur hospital, lekin humne kiya. September guzra, ek ek din gine the humne ungliyon par zaroor, lekin kab december aa gaya pata hi nahi chala. Naye saal ki kuch zyada khushi nahi thi, bas yahi dua thi ki yeh sal khishiyaan laaye. January, fervary ek aisi hawa ka jhonka laaye jisse hum aaj tak waakif hi nahi the. Aur yeh hawa ka jhonka jis dhara se aaya tha humari zulfe udane ke liye, waise hi chala gaya, shayad kuch bikhri zulfe chhod gaya. Yeh saal guzar toh raha tha, lekin aisa lag raha tha ki hum sthir haim kuch badal nahi raha tha. Jitni bhi koshish kar lo yeh patthar hil hi nahi raha, yeh dhakkan khul hi nahi raha. Phir kya, socha aise rote hue raatein guzaarna thik nahi hai, yoon ghar main band rehna thik nahi hai, kuch toh galat hai. Madad li, shayad kuch behtar hua, shayad nahi. lekin inn sab ke beech, maine bohot yaadein banayi. Woh ek baarish, woh ek sunset, aur na jaane kitne saari hassi joh shayad nahi hoti agar maine zindagi ka haath chhod diya hota. Kuch din aise bhi the jinmein mujhe laga ki isse khush toh main nahi jo sakti, kuch raatein iss kadar thi ki mujhe laga ki mujhse dukhi koi nahi ho sakta. Ho sakta ho ki aapka samay itna achha na chal raha ho, lekin phir bhi, samay kaisa bhi ho, yeh chhoti chhoti khudhiyaan zaroor laata hain. September aa gaya aaj aur pata bhi nahi chala. Shayad, woh dhakkan thoda dheela ho gaya.

सितंबर आ गया और पता भी नहीं चला, आज टीचर्स दे है और इससे पिछला शिक्षक दिवस मुझे याद है। यार ये समय भी ना कितनी अजीब चीज़ है, जितनी उपमा से उपमा कम है, कहू की ये समय इन घिरते-हटते बादलों की तरह है और इन पत्तों के गिरने की तरह है और इस तूफ़ान के जाने की तरह है। ये समय वो पिगलती आइसक्रीम की तरह है, वो सिग्नल बदलने की तरह है, अचानक आने वाली मूसलाधार बारिश की तरह है और आसमान में एक इंद्रधनुष की तरह है तो शायद काम होगा। ये साल कैसे बीता पता ही नहीं, यूं भाद्रपद आ गया और केवल कुछ महीने ही बचे हैं ये साल खत्म होने में। ये समय भी ना बहुत कमाल है। पिछले सितंबर मुझे लगा था, शायद नहीं हो पाएगा। ये जिंदगी, मुझसे नहीं हो पाएगी, क्योंकि यार मुश्किल होता है, हर दिन हॉस्पिटल जाना और फिर काम, काम और हॉस्पिटल, लेकिन हमने किया। सितंबर गुजरा, एक एक दिन गिनें थे हमने उंगलियों पर जरूर, लेकिन दिसंबर कब आ गया पता ही नहीं चला। नए साल की कुछ ज्यादा खुशी नहीं थी, बस यहीं दुआ थी कि ये साल खुशियां लाए। जनवरी, फरवरी एक ऐसी हवा का झोंका लाए जिसे हम आज तक वाकिफ ही नहीं थे। और ये हवा का झोंका जिस धारा से आया था हमारी जुल्फे उड़ान के लिए, वैसे ही चला गया, शायद कुछ बिखरी जुल्फे छोड़ गया। ये साल गुजर तो रहा था, लेकिन ऐसा लग रहा था कि हम स्थिर हैं, कुछ बदल नहीं रहा था। जितनी भी कोशिश कर लो ये पत्थर हिल ही नहीं रहा, ये धक्कन खुल ही नहीं रहा। फिर क्या, सोचा ऐसे रोते हुए रातें गुज़ारना ठीक नहीं है, यूं घर में बंद रहना ठीक नहीं है, कुछ तो गलत है। मदद ली, शायद कुछ बेहतर हुआ, शायद नहीं। लेकिन इन सब के बीच, मैंने बहुत यादें बनाईं। वो एक बारिश, वो एक सनसैट, और ना जाने कितनी सारी हंसी जो शायद नहीं होती अगर मैंने जिंदगी का हाथ छोड़ दिया होता। कुछ दिन ऐसे भी थे जिनमें मुझे लगा कि मुझसे ज्यादा खुश कोई नहीं है, कुछ रातें इस कदर थी कि मुझे लगा कि मुझसे दुखी कोई नहीं हो सकता। हो सकता है कि आपका समय इतना अच्छा न चल रहा हो, लेकिन फिर भी, समय कैसा भी हो, ये छोटी-छोटी खुशियां जरूर लाता है। सितंबर आ गया आज और पता भी नहीं चला। शायद, वो धक्कन थोड़ा ढीला हो गया।

wrote this at 8:30 am, first thought in the morning. It's because I never thought I could make it to September. I'm glad. Life throws shit at you, but please remember to breathe, and it'll pass on. Sept-Dec patch was very rough for me, but it passed and I'm glad it did. This is your reminder that it'll pass.

[heruntoldfeelingss]

Ye faasla jo humaare beech hai,

Zaroori hai.

Kuch mei bikhra sa hoon abhi,

Kuch tujhmei bhi uthrahe tufaan hai.

Kuch uljhanein meri hai,

Kuch mayoosi tere hisse mei hai.

Kuch zimmedariyon k taley mei daba hua hoon,

Kuch khwaab tere bhi adhoore hain.

Kuch seekhna mujhe hai,

Kuch imtehaan tere bhi hai.

Tu aur mei toh yahin hai,

Shayad waqt sahi nahi hai.

Tu guzar jaaye kuch raaston se,

Mei bhi paar kar lu kuch manzile.

Shayad fir mile hum kahin,

Naseeb ki sadak k sahaare.

Shayad fir ho mulaqat humari,

Jab tu mere liye aur mei tere liye sahi ho.

Jab tere dil k sheher mei dastak ho,

Aur mere dil ko panah mile.

Jab tere khalipan mei shor ho,

Meri awaaz ki gunj se.

Jab teri khamoshiyon ko awaaz mile,

Meri baaton ko ghar mile.

Filhaal tera basera kahin aur hai,

Mere aangan mei khalipan ka dhera hai.

Filhal tere fayslon mei mai nahi,

Meri raahein tujhse juda hain.

Tu khudmei muqammal ho k milna mujhe,

Mei bhi inn diwaro ko todd aaun kabhi.

Fir kisi din tu apne sheher le jaana mujhe,

Mei tujhe apna asmaan dikhaun kabhi.

Tab tak mere yaar,

Ye faasla jo humaare beech hai,

Zaroori hai.