#geumhyuk angst

[yeosangs-horizon]

[16:05] -> Tattoo

You winced in pain as the first traces of the needle began to dig into the sanitized and shaved portion of your leg. You felt a bit of tranquility once you felt your boyfriend squeeze your hand gently while caressing his palm over yours.

“Geumhyuk, how did you withstand all of this on your arm? Ack!” you winced in pain as the tattoo artist started to go over the lines he had made to your small bunny design. 

“Shh (Y/N) baby, it’ll be alright. You just kinda get used to the feeling, I’m here,” he soothed as he brought your hand gently to his lips and grazed over them with a gentle kiss. 

He let his fingers intertwine with yours as he stroked your hand with his thumb in a loving manner. You smiled at him with a tear dripping from your eye. You had extremely low pain tolerance but you had wanted this symbolic tattoo for years now. 

You winced in pain again as you felt the sharpness of the needles penetrate into the open wound filled with ink.

“Geumhyuk…” you whined as you buried your face into his arm. 

He leaned over and placed a kiss softly on your forehead while tilting your head up. 

“Baby it’s already over, look,” he guestered to your leg with your fresh new tattoo sitting upon it like a throne. 

You smiled happily and rubbed your eyes from any excess tears that you had. You had waited so long and endured the pain of it all. 

“It looks so beautiful, and it means so much to me. Gosh I-- I love it!” you exclaimed. You turned towards your boyfriend and added, “And thanks for helping me get through this, even though I may have looked like a wimp,” you trailed off.

Your cheeks flushed to colour as you leaned off the side of the tattooing bed and pecked him softly on his cheek. 

[kpophours]

Undead Savior

➵ VAV: (vampire) St. Van x fem. reader / one shot, vampire AU / angst, fluff

➵ warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of blood

➵ word count: 4.1k

➵ series: Baron, Ayno, St. Van, Ziu, Lou, Ace

Bringing you with him was not what St. Van had planned at all.

But letting you bleed to death hadn’t been an option either.

So here you are now, laying on the fluffy bed in St. Van’s guest room, ghostly pale but at least still alive.

He doesn’t know when you’ll wake up – it could take a few hours, but also only minutes, depending on how fast your body will be able to spread the vampire blood St. Van has given you. Given the right dosage, it should be able to heal you rather quickly – but if you should die with his blood still in your system…

Well, then he has just sired a new vampire.

And he definitely does not need a freshly born vampire at his side right now, not when he only just managed to get rid of some rather nasty hunters last month (with a bit of help from another friendly hunter he’s known for a few years now).

It’s not his fault if you turn though – he just tried to save your life. It had been a rather close call for you, the rogue vampire almost ripping out your whole throat right in front of his eyes. Thank God he had been there and managed to surprise the rogue, saving you in the process.

Bringing you to a hospital hadn’t been an option, the smell of blood in there too overpowering even for a strong and old vampire like himself. That’s why he brought you to his own apartment – quickly dressing most of your wounds, before giving you some of his own blood.

And now, all he can do is wait.

You feel like absolute shit when you slowly begin to regain consciousness.

The last thing you remember… is some weird guy trying to grab you.

After that… nothing.

You groan, your tongue feeling like it weighs a ton inside your dry mouth, head pounding slightly. The room you find yourself in is dimly lit, you can just make out a small dresser, a full-length mirror on the wall opposite you and a tiny desk. The bed you lay on is soft and comfortable – but unfamiliar to you. It’s rather cold and you begin to shiver slightly, hugging yourself to keep some warmth.

It’s completely silent inside the apartment.

Has that strange man managed to kidnap you?

You try not to panic and to stay calm.

Should you leave your room? Try to escape – from wherever you’re at right now? But what if your kidnapper is outside, just waiting for you to come out…

Your thoughts spiral like this for a few minutes, before the decision is made for you – footsteps come towards your room; if it weren’t so eerily silent, you wouldn’t have been able to hear them. The door opens with a slight creak, revealing a tall, broad figure standing in the hallway.

You can’t help it – you scream.

"Jesus Christ!", the shadowy man in the doorway yells, nearly dropping the tray he's carrying, "Do you want to give me a heart attack?!"

With that, he switches on the light, looking at you with a slightly incredulous expression. "What was that for?!"

You blink a few times, a bit taken aback. This is definitely not the man who was following you earlier, that much is sure. This man is tall and broad, dark tattoos peek out from under his light grey jumper, his eyes and hair are dark, but his smile friendly.

"Where am I?", you simply ask, actually sounding braver than you feel.

"In my apartment on second street.", the man answers, placing the tray onto the small dresser.

"Why am I here?"

"You were hurt. I brought you here to dress your wounds."

You raise both eyebrows. "You do know hospital exists for exactly this reason, right?"

He looks a bit sheepishly. "Yeah, but my apartment was closer and you were already half-dead when I brought you here, so..."

You snort at that. "Already half-dead? Well, I feel more than fine right now, so that can't be true."

"I have no reason to lie to you.", the man simply states, "But I understand if you don’t believe me."

You decide to stay sceptic, crossing your arms in front of your chest. "Who are you even?"

"My name is St. Van."

You suppress a grin - what kind of name it that? - but give him your name as well: "I'm Y/N."

He nods curtly, before pointing to the tray. "I've brought you some tea. Drink, it will help your body to stay warm."

And with that, he turns to leave again, but you quickly jump up, wanting to hold him back - but failing, thanks to the world suddenly beginning to spin around you. "Oof.", you make, but before your body can hit the ground, strong hands have already picked you up and placed you back on the bed again. You have no idea how fast St. Van must have moved, you only know it should have been impossible.

"H- how...", you ask confused, but he quickly shushes you: "Sleep, Y/N." Strangely, the intensity of his gaze makes you sleepy and darkness washes over you - seconds later, you're out like a light.

St. Van sighs, looking at your sleeping form. He shouldn't have used his power on you, the gift of persuasion being something he tries to use as rarely as possible. But he knows your body isn't completely healed yet, knows you need more sleep, so making you sleep was actually in your best interest.

At least that's what he tries to tell himself - it definitely had nothing to do with you seeing how fast he had moved to catch you.

He has been for the look-out for the rogue vampire for a few weeks now. Most of the information he had on the rogue was thanks to Lou, one of the more friendly, open-minded hunters out there. From time to time they team up, knowing it’s easier to catch rogue creatures who threaten to expose the supernatural world to humans with the combined strength of their skills.

But Lou had to leave before catching this particular vampire, so he entrusted St. Van with all the information he had already gathered so far, before departing to take over another pressing case in a town a few hours away.

Since then, St. Van has begun to follow the younger vampire, trying to see if he could maybe catch him on his own and help him with his blood lust. By now though, he knows that the rogue is a lost case, already being way too deep into his blood rage. There is only one way to end his bloody path - to end him.

Easier said than done, though - the younger vampire is pumped to the brim with fresh human blood, making him faster and stronger than St. Van, who relies on blood bags to keep him from starving. It had been more luck than skill he was even able to fight the rogue off your body, thankfully managing to save you. But now he is still out there, continuing to look for more human blood. 

St. Van knows he should be out there, trying to catch the rogue, but he doesn't want to leave you alone. Maybe the rogue will come back and take what, at least in his eyes, is his - to finish what he started.

No, St. Van won't leave you.

Maybe Lou could send another hunter over... The vampire considers this for a moment, before pulling out his phone and dialing the hunter’s number.

Lou picks up after a few rings: "What's up?"

"Can you send someone to take care of the rogue vampire? I won’t be able to leave my apartment for some time."

"What do you mean, you won’t be able to leave your apartment? The sun's not even that strong at the moment." Lou sounds exasperated and St. Van can only imagine the dark scowl the young man is probably sporting right now.

"The rogue vampire attacked a young woman tonight and almost killed her. I brought her to my apartment and gave her some of my blood to heal her body. She's still out like a light at the moment, but I don't want to leave her alone in case the rogue comes back and tries to end what he started.", St. Van explains quietly, his back turned to you. He fumbles for the light switch, the darkness immediately helping with his concentration. Even though the sun can’t actually hurt vampires, the darkness feels way more natural to them, bright lights often hurting their eyes and giving them splitting headaches four hours on end.

On the other end of the line, Lou sighs deeply. "I'll try and see what I can do. I’ll  get back to you as soon as- oh, hey babe. Why are you awake? Did I wake you?" A muffled voice, female and sleepy, answers something inaudible even to St. Van's superior vampire hearing. "Go back to bed. I'll be there in a second."

St. Van doesn't think he's ever heard Lou use such a soft, gentle tone before.

"Uh, so, yeah. I'll send another hunter over. Stay with the woman and take care of her. I'll text you when I’ve got news." With that, he simply hangs up.

The vampire raises both eyebrows, looking at his phone with an incredulous expression on his face. Well, that was kind of rude. But he just sighs, before pocketing the tiny advice again. He’s used to it by now. That’s just how the young hunter is.

When he turns around to look at you again, he jumps.

Because your eyes are wide open, staring at him and reflecting the dim light coming from the hallway.

"Uh. How are you awake?!", St. Van asks, shocked as well. This shouldn't be possible - his persuasion has never failed him before!

You simply continue to stare at the man, still too shocked to talk. You've heard the whole conversation, the voice of the other person - someone called Lou? - on the phone audible even to you.

"So, I guess you heard everything.", St. Van asks again, trying to sound calm (which he isn't at all right now).

You simply nod, heart beating fast in your chest.

"I swear, I'm not a psychopath. I'm really trying to protect you."

"And you're a vampire."

St. Van jumps a bit, looking at you with wide eyes.

"I- what?"

You suppress a smile at his comical expression. "You're a vampire.", you repeat yourself.

He begins to nod slowly, before quickly catching himself and beginning to shake his head rigorously. "There's no such thing as vampires."

You raise one eyebrow, scowling slightly. "Don't even try this with me, I know there are. My family has the sight."

St. Van looks surprised at this new information - this actually explains why his persuasion didn’t work on you. Humans with the Sight are often immune to some supernatural powers - apparently, this has something to do with their lineage (at least one person in your family tree had to be some kind of supernatural creature for the Sight to emerge in the next generation). "Really? So you're able to see ghosts and everything?"

"Yup, have been ever since birth. Just like everyone else in my family. So I know about the supernatural world - even if I'm not part of it, not really at least."

The vampire sighs, looking relieved. "Well, that makes everything a lot easier. But why didn't you notice the rogue vampire following you, then?"

You cross your arms in front of your chest, beginning to pout and St. Van doesn't think he's ever seen anything cuter than this, you're adorable. 

“Just because I know of the supernatural world, doesn't mean I know a lot about it. You're actually the first supernatural creature I've come into real contact with - even though I'm pretty sure the slightly eccentric boyfriend of one of my closest friends is actually a warlock."

St. Van simply nods. "Fair enough. So - like you’ve already overheard, I think the rogue vampire will keep a lookout for you. So I don’t think it will be safe for you to be alone, at least for the time being."

You consider him for a few moments, before shrugging. "Well, thank God I'm on holiday at the moment and don't have to go into work." You gaze around the room. "So, do I have to stay here with you or...?"

"Uh, well, it would make things a lot easier. But I do understand if you want to go home. I'll just keep watch over you from afar - that should work as well."

"But not as well, right?"

St. Van nods again. "Like I said - it would make things a lot easier if you'd just stay here with me. If Lou contacts another hunter as quickly as he's promised, the rogue should be taken care of in a few days."

"Okay, then... I'll stay. But I think I'll need a few of my things to be comfortable in here, like clothes and stuff like that."

The handsome vampire smiles at you. "Of course. Give me your address and I’ll get you whatever your heart desires. In the meantime... if you want to, you can take a shower. I'll lend you some of my clothes."

You look at yourself, realizing with slight horror that you're covered in dried blood. "Ew.", you make a bit distressed, gazing up at St. Van, "Isn't this diffcult for you? Being in the same room with me - with so much blood?"

But he only shrugs. "Nah. It's dried up, so it doesn’t smell nearly as good as fresh blood. Still, I would appreciate you taking a shower." He grins at you, showing you his pearly white canines (no fangs in sight though).

You huff playfully. "Just tell me I stink.", you murmur, before slowly getting up. St. Van extends one hand towards you, but you shake your head. "I'm okay."  

The vampire shows you to his bathroom, which is tiny but very clean and neat, and gives you fresh towels as well as some of his clothes, before leaving you alone. The warm water helps relax your stiff muscles and you're surprised to see no bruises or other wounds on your body. Just some scars that look like they've been on your body for at least a few months. "Probably the vampire blood St. Van gave me...", you murmur, "Very effective indeed."

Twenty minutes later, you feel like a new person; quickly toweling yourself off before getting dressed. St. Van's clothes are way too big on you, but they are comfortable and smell amazing. You definitely need to ask which laundry detergent he's using.

When you leave the bathroom, releasing steam and the smell of fresh soap, you find St. Van in the kitchen, making dinner. He smiles at you, his eyes forming little crescents. "Feeling better?" He takes in your wet, frizzy hair and the way his large jumper gives you sweater paws, the view making him feel all soft and mushy inside.

You nod, sliding onto the kitchen bench. "Immensely, thank you. Why are you cooking? I thought vampires can't eat normal - uh, well, I mean, human food."

"That's right. But I guess you must be pretty hungry by now." 

Right on time, your stomach begins to grumble, making you both laugh. 

"There you go." With that, he places a plate of steaming hot pasta in front of you.

"It smells delicious, thank you!", you say right before diving in. You can't stifle a tiny moan when the first bite hits your gums.

St. Van grins. "I guess you like it?"

You nod fiercely before swallowing and asking: "Where did you learn to cook?"

He props his chin on one hand, gazing at you with a slightly wistful expression on his face. It makes your heart flutter and you hurriedly take another bite before being able to blurt out something stupid. 

"My mother was an amazing cook, actually. She taught me a lot about spices and how to combine different flavors and so on."

"So you weren't a cook before turning into a vampire?"

"No, I was a priest actually."

At this, you choke on your food, coughing and only getting your windpipe freed again thanks to St. Van carefully hitting you on the back, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"A priest?!", you're finally able to gasp out, still left with a few tears in your eyes.

"Those were different times, Y/N. A lot of people became priests or nuns back then. It was pretty normal, actually.", St. Van explains, his eyes glinting amused.

"Mhm, yeah, I guess...", you mumble, taking another bite and observing the handsome man opposite you. "Do you believe in God, then?", you ask curiously.

He nods. "I do, yes. I mean, there must be something bigger out there - and we just give it the name 'God'. It can be a kind of energy or something like that, I don’t know. But I definitely do believe in something more."

Well, you can definitely agree with him on that.

Your conversation continues to flow easily over the next few hours; you tell him about your family and job, he in turn talks about the many historical events he managed to witness during his life as a vampire - he actually saw the Berlin wall fall?! He was at Times Square when the end of the Second World War was declared?! You are more than amazed, being a bit of a history freak. When he talks about the years he used to live in China, your heart softens even more for the vampire - you can’t believe he’s still in contact with the descendants of the family he used to stay with, all of them actually knowing about him being a supernatural creature! This really touches you, showing that he still cares about all the humans he met over the span of his long life.

It's well after midnight when your eyes begin to droop, making St. Van gently smile at you. "I think it's time for you to go to bed, Y/N.", he murmurs and you nod, letting yourself be led towards the tiny guest room.

"Don’t worry, Y/N, I'll keep you safe."

That's the last thing you hear, before falling into a deep slumber.

The next few days are spent in the company of your undead (and ridiculously handsome) savior: he makes you breakfast, watches movies with you and lets you ask all kind of questions, answering them with an almost saintly patience.

You quickly notice you actually share the same kind of humor, always laughing about silly stuff (St. Van's laugh rapidly becoming one of your favorite sounds in the entire world, it’s just adorable).

He tells you more about his past, about his family and friends, about the supernatural world.

It doesn't take long for you to feel completely comfortable around him, his laid-back, easy-going nature making it absolutely impossible for you to not like him.

You pretty much forget all about the danger you're actually in - the rogue vampire couldn’t be further from your mind.

You're not quite sure what wakes you during the third night spend in St. Van's guest room - but your heart is hammering inside your chest, your hands are clammy and you feel like you're unable to breathe properly.

Everything instinct inside you screams to run.

Carefully, you sit up and look around your room - everything's still dark, so it should still be nighttime, you guess.

You creep towards your door, trying to be as quiet as possible, before opening it and stepping into the hallway.

"St. Van?", you whisper into the darkness.

No answer.

You begin to shiver a bit, hugging yourself tightly, the sleeves of your jumper way too long and covering your hands.

"There you are."

That is definitely not St. Van's voice. 

You whirl around, but before you can react in any way, two long-fingered hands have already grabbed you around the neck, slowly beginning to choke you. "I can still taste your blood.", a voice rasps, but thanks to the non-existent lighting, you're unable to see more than a shadowy figure in front of you.

Your fingers claw at the hands around your neck, trying to get them off and failing miserably. You struggle to get air into your lungs, darkness beginning to creep into your vision. "Please.", you croak out, but the rogue vampire just hisses.

The next thing you feel are his fangs grazing the thin skin covering your neck. Tears are streaming down your face, the only thought in your head being I don't want to die, I don't want to die, oh please, God, I don't want to die - then, pain seems to explode in your entire body, the vampire burying his fangs into your vulnerable neck.

You're unable to scream, unable to move, unable to feel anything but pain soaring through your whole body.

This is the end, you think.

Darkness washes over you.

"Please wake up, oh God, Y/N, please wake up.", a male voice besides you sobs, "Y/N, please come back to me."

Something strong and painful hits your chest, making you gasp, your eyes flying open in the process.

St. Van's scared face hovers just above you.

"Oh God, oh God, thank the heavens.", he gasps out, when he sees you looking at him, your eyes wide and searching.

He softly cradles your face between his hands, thumbs stroking your cheeks. "You're okay, you're okay. You're safe, I've got you.", he murmurs, slowly  wiping away the tears rolling down your cheeks and carefully holding your body against his chest.

"Where-", you croak, but St. Van instantly hushes you. "Don't speak, save your strength. I gave you some of my blood, but it hasn't managed to heal you just yet." He hugs you even closer, hands stroking your back, "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I failed you..." He chokes on his own words, trying to calm himself with a few deep breaths (even if he doesn't really need any of those, right?). 

"I was gone for barely thirty minutes to get some more of your stuff.", he whispers, pressing his face into your hair, "But that bastard... he must have watched us."

You move a bit in his arms until he loosens his grip around you. You gaze up at him, at the worried lines on his forehead, his dark, apologetic eyes and the grim set to his mouth. You raise one hand, gently touching his cheek. "It's not your fault.", you rasp as softly as you can manage.

"He nearly killed you.", St. Van whispers, lips trembling slightly.

"You saved me."

"I should have come earlier, I shouldn't have left you alone-"

"Hush. Don't beat yourself up. You saved me, twice. I owe you everything.", you interrupt him, tracing the worried lines on his forehead with one finger.

He swallows thickly, before nodding, leaning his forehead against yours and closing his eyes. Gently, you stroke the hair at the back of his neck, hoping it will calm him down further.

In that moment, a tall, blond-haired man steps inside the apartment, making you jump. Immediately, St. Van's grip around you tightens and he bares his fangs. When he sees the unimpressed expression on the intruder's face, he relaxes again. "Oh, it's just you."

"Just me? Excuse you! I just killed that rogue vampire!", the man huffs, a bit offended, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You helped. A bit.", St. Van replies with raised eyebrows.

"Well, yeah, okay. But I have to get rid of that thing now. So I think some thanks would be in order." He looks at you, taking in your tired expression and bloody clothes, the way you cling to St. Van. Immediately, his cat-like eyes soften. "I'm Inseong, by the way. Nice to meet you."

You return his smile wearily. "Y/N. Thanks for saving me."

"Don't mention it, that's what we hunters are here for." With that, he turns to the vampire again, "I'll give Lou your greetings along with my report. Soo... I guess I'll see you around. Take care." With that, he gives you both a mock-salute, before stepping out of the apartment and closing the door behind him.

St. Van gazes down at you, eyes soft. "Are you okay?", he asks quietly.

You nod. "I will be." 

Especially with you by my side, you silently add in your head.

He sighs deeply, pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead; your heart skips a beat at the sweet, simple gesture.

"I promise I'll keep you safe from now on.", St. Van whispers, arms tightening around you.

I won't ever leave you again, he silently adds in his head.

[masterlist] | [requests] 

[noris-nebula]

[9:48 am]

Choi Chunghyeop

[kpoprunsmylifenow]

LETS GET THIS ANGST!!!!!!!!!! 10 “I’m late.” 21 “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.” with vav st van💙

10. “I’m late.”

21. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”

“I’m late.” He said as he put his bag down on the couch.

“You are.” You said quietly. You both had made plans to have a small date since your week had been really bad. And your day had only grew worse when Geumhyuk had texted you, saying that his last class of the day was gonna be longer due to him having to finish an assignment before everyone was released.

You’d been sitting on the couch for over an hour waiting for him to get home. You’d changed into some comfortable clothes, basically just a pair of sweatpants and one of his hoodies. You were just about to order some food and go to bed when you heard him come in.

He kissed your head and brought you to his chest.

“I’m sorry I was late.” He said quietly. He truly felt bad that he’d been held up in class and couldn’t come home.

“It’s okay.” You said equally as quietly. “I can order some food while you go get changed.”

“Sounds good.” He paused before he let you go, making sure to press a soft but firm kiss to your lips.

Later that night after a few movies you were still down.

“What do you need?” Geumhyuk asked as he pulled you closer to his chest. “You still seem upset.”

“Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.” You said as you looked up from his chest. And a bright huge smiled broke out across his face and you smiled back at him. Glad that you had a wonderful boyfriend that would do anything to make sure that you were okay and happy.

[imissjoongsmullet]

IMISSJOONGSMULLET MASTERLIST (updated)

Fireworks

Mingi x reader

fluff

angst

Jising Mafia AU

Jisung x reader x Yunho

angst

drabble

also has stray kids in it

Too Far

Bang Chan x reader

smut

5 part series

Mirrored

Felix x reader

smut

Something Better

Bang Chan x reader

college AU

fluff that leads to smut

2 parts

We’ve got all Night

Hyunjin x felix x reader

smut

2 parts

Jising Mafia AU

Jisung x reader x Yunho

angst

drabble

also has ATEEZ in it

has a part 2

Tricked You

Baekhyun x reader

fluff

An Evening with the Boys

Xiaojun x reader

fluff

has a sequel

The Morning after the Fact

said sequel

Xiaojun x reader

fluff

Lost Cause

Kun x reader

dark/angst/gore

Caught in the Rain

Geumhyuk x reader

fluff

My Prince

Minghao x reader

royal au

fluff

angst

unfinished

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

Blurb Masterlist

A/N: So my blurbs are little writings that are like spur of the moment writings. Short and sweet without official titles. So bare with me on how I name them here lmao

Also I only recently started writing these so there aren’t many but I’ll fill them in as I go!

A.C.E

Wow: 

He paints on your back

Ateez

Hongjoong: 

Dom! Hongjoong + chest worship (smut) 

Yunho: 

Basketball player au Yunho

First time sucking Yunho off + a smidge of size kink (Smut) 

adopting a golden retriever with your goolden retriever

Playing video games takes a sweet turn 

San: 

misfit? San (Suggestive)

Mingi: 

Bodygaurd au Mingi

Day6

YoungK: 

Relaxing on your fire escape with neighbor! Younghyun

GOT7

Jackson

100 ways (angst)

Monsta X

Wonho: 

Morning shower with Wonho + some handjob action (smut) 

I.M:

You need something familiar at a party (very suggestive)

NCT

Johnny:

Underground boxer au! Johnny 

Badboy au! Johnny

Yuta: 

Piercer! Yuta

Jaehyun: 

Badboy? (idk but he has tattoos) Jaehyun + Fem Artist Reader! + morning freaky bussiness (SMUT)

N.Flying

Seunghyub: 

He wants you to hear his new song but his voice is distracting (Suggestive)

Jaehyun:

You want Jaehyun’s attention

SF9

Hwiyoung

Hwiyoung looks cute with butterfly clips oh and he has a crush on you

The Rose

Dojoon:

Dancing in your kitchen at 2 a.m

Seventeen

Dokyeom:

You play with his hands because your tired

VAV

Jacob: 

Jacob really likes your skirt and thigh highs (Suggestive) 

Roommates Geumhyuk and Jacob ���comfort” scared reader (suggestive)

Geumhyuk:

Roommates Geumhyuk and Jacob “comfort” scared reader (suggestive)

[fallinnflower]

better late

jacob x reader (angst to fluff, bad boy!au, non-idol!au)

a/n: i got a request for bad boy jacob. i think i deviated a little from that, but i hope it’s still angsty enough for you!

You’ve pretty much always been in love with Jacob.

You first met Jacob through your childhood best friend, Geumhyuk, who had taken the Chinese student under his wing almost as soon as he had arrived on campus. Jacob was extremely shy when you first met him — the opposite of you and Geumhyuk, but in the most endearing way. You had very limited knowledge of Chinese, but you tried your best to communicate with Jacob that way until he was more comfortable with his Korean; at some point, actually, you established a mutually beneficial relationship teaching each other the two languages.

It was probably then that your crush on Jacob became serious. You’d always thought he was cute, and anyone who was a friend of Geumhyuk’s was pretty much automatically a good guy (to be perfectly honest, your mom had been pushing for you to marry him since the two of you were teenagers, and objectively you could see why — but ew, he was like your brother!) in your book. He seemed a little brooding at first, sure, but once you cracked open Jacob’s shell he turned out to be a total softie. Your heart was positively melted.

And because you weren’t really shy about your feelings, Jacob was one of the first to know of that fact. In fact, it was during one of your unofficial language study sessions that you first asked Jacob out on a date.

He declined. But that didn’t stop you.

Some people would probably say you’re trying too hard, and you can see it — you’ve been asking Jacob out for almost a year with no luck. You’re in deep. But you just can’t help it, you know in your heart that he’s the one for you — and you trust that instinct, you always have. It’s what got you a best friend as amazing as Geumhyuk, so why would you possibly stop trusting that now?

But then… things changed.

Geumhyuk throws a party, which of course means you and Jacob are going to be in attendance. You’ve always been a lightweight, but that never stopped you from playing drinking games and taking shots with your friends. It wasn’t like you drank often, so you always lived it up when you did; by contrast, Jacob would spend most of the night nursing the same drink. The nights almost always ended with you tracking down Jacob in some corner of the house where he was avoiding the crowds, observing, and talking his ear off for a while.

It’s late spring, and Jacob is sitting out on the back steps. You wobble out of the house and sit down heavily beside him, immediately dropping your head to rest against his shoulder. Jacob lets out a little laugh,

“How much did you drink this time, Y/N?” You groan, closing your eyes.

“Way too much. But it was fun.” 

The two of you sit in silence, looking up at the moon. The stars are hard to see from where you are in the city, but with the party lights lingering behind your eyelids with each blink you can imagine that they’re right there in front of you. A breeze runs across your skin, and you scoot closer to Jacob and his sturdy warmth, pressing your knees to his. He gently takes hold of your cold fingers in his hands, holding them between his palms to warm them up.

“Ah, Jacob, you’re the best,” you say, nuzzling your cheek against his shoulder. “No wonder I love you so much.”

Suddenly, Jacob tenses. He lets go of your hands, and you open your eyes. His lips are pressed into a firm, thin line, his brows set solemnly.

“Stop that,” he says. Before you can even question what he means, he suddenly stands up from the steps. There’s a look in his eyes you’ve never seen before as he stares down at you, and you suddenly feel very small when he speaks again.

“You don’t love me, we aren’t together, so stop talking like we are. Love isn’t real, especially not yours — stop being so childish.” With that, Jacob turns and walks back into the house. The spring air suddenly feels freezing against your skin. You don’t realize you're crying until you get back to your dorm and notice the mascara tracks running down your cheeks, and you laugh. You look just as foolish as you feel; just as foolish as you must seem to Jacob and everyone around you

You cry in the shower, and cry yourself to sleep, and after that you don’t shed a single tear over Jacob. 

Spring turns to summer, and you barely see Jacob. Not only because you both have internships, but also because you make the conscious decision to distance yourself from him. Every time you look at him, even if it’s just his back in passing, you can’t help but hear what he said that night ringing in your ears. 

Who does he think he is, to say love doesn’t exist? You’re equal parts bitterly angry and sad over what he said. Who did they think they were, the person that made Jacob feel that way?

Geumhyuk knows better than to ask outright why you and Jacob suddenly don’t seem to be on speaking terms. In his typical dad fashion, he just tells you to be safe when you start going on dating apps and trying to meet new people, double- and triple-checking that he’s on speed dial in case anything goes wrong for you.

Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes you call Geumhyuk after a trash date and the two of you just eat some ice cream together at his place. But then, things go right. You meet someone in the midsummer. He’s tall, lanky, and has an enchantingly deep voice. He works at the same place as you, but as an intern translator for English-speaking relations. It starts with you begging him to teach you some English, and quickly evolves into something else entirely. 

He’s not Jacob, but he’s equal parts sweet and sarcastic and Geumhyuk likes him. You don’t put a label on it, because you don’t feel ready to and Lou isn’t someone that’s going to push you if you’re uncomfortable, but the two of you hold hands and go on dates and snuggle up on the couch together watching movies. 

And yet some nights when your phone rings, you still wish it was Jacob trying to get in contact with you. 

Lou goes to another university near yours, so you do still see him sometimes when you’re both free on the weekends after the summer ends. As a result, you still don’t see Jacob very much at school. Your usual study sessions become less and less frequent, and you spend more of your weekends with Lou than you do Geumhyuk and Jacob. 

Jacob knows it shouldn’t bother him, but it does. 

As the semester starts to get busier, keeping you on campus more often, you suddenly find that your phone buzzes with messages from Jacob again. It starts with him relating messages from Geumhyuk, then evolves into him asking you for translations. Occasionally he quizzes you on your Chinese, which is actually very much appreciate because you’ve been slacking a bit without someone to practice regularly with. 

And then he starts asking to get meals with you between classes. You find that your feelings for Jacob, while faded, still exist deep within your heart. You should’ve expected it, you know that, but you can’t help but feel sick just thinking about it — more specifically, thinking about Lou with those feelings in your chest. 

It’s barely October when you break off whatever it is you have with Lou (he just laughs and tells you he saw it coming. He wishes you the best and somehow that’s the worst thing he could say to you.), then show up on Geumhyuk’s doorstep with bottles of soju in your arms and tears in your eyes. 

The great thing about Geumhyuk is he doesn’t judge you. The bad thing about Geumhyuk is that he literally always takes a phone call, even if you’re crying in the background. 

“Hello?” He says, then, “Oh, hey, Jacob. Um, now isn’t a good time—”

You don’t mean to, but you can’t stop the sob that rips from your chest. Geumhyuk runs back to your side immediately, and you can hear Jacob over the phone,

“What’s wrong? Is that Y/N?” You cry harder, so you don’t hear what Geumhyuk or Jacob say, burrowing down onto Geumhyuk’s couch and burying your face in a blanket. 

But you do hear the rapid knocking at the door, and Jacob’s voice once he comes through the door. You wipe at your cheeks with one hand and reach for your soju with the other, only to have a familiar hand snatch it away from you. You scowl up at Jacob, but he looks pissed; you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so angry. 

“Give it,” you whine anyways, reaching for it, but Jacob rolls it behind him as he kneels by the couch. 

“No. You’re a mess, Y/N, what’s going on?” You shake your head. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it with you.” He furrows his brows, and you feel a pang in your heart at the sad look in his eyes. It’s not fair, you think. He can’t look at you like that after the way he dismissed your feelings. 

“Stop it,” you mumble into the blankets, looking away from him. 

“Stop what?” His voice is softer now, less angry. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” you say. “You don’t care about me.”

“Y/N...” Jacob seems to falter, and you chance a look back up at him. No matter how hard you try, you still love Jacob; if he seems sad, it breaks your heart. And he certainly looks sad right now. He passes a hand over his face, and when he looks back at you he almost looks like he’s about to be the one crying instead of you. 

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out finally. “I shouldn’t— I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve regretted it ever since.” You sniffle and reach for his hand, desperate to comfort him. 

“It’s okay,” you reply, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I shouldn’t have been so pushy—”

“Don’t,” he says. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were right about everything.”

“Everything?” You ask. Jacob lets out a bitter laugh. 

“This is the worst timing,” he sighs. His gaze falls to your hand still holding his, and he licks his lips before speaking again.

“You were right,” he starts. “Love is real. I should’ve trusted you from the start.”

“Jacob…” He lifts his hand, and you fall silent again, giving him time to speak. He seems troubled, and you feel absolutely helpless. For a prolonged moment, the two of you sit in silence, neither willing to break it with anything except your breathing. You wonder if Jacob can hear your pounding heart as clearly as you can.

“I love you, Y/N,” he says, so softly and suddenly you almost miss it. You lean in closer, certain you’ve misheard, searching Jacob’s dark eyes as they stare steadily into yours.

“What?” You whisper, breathe, barely even words at all, and Jacob lets go of your hands and runs his thumbs under your eyes, cupping your face. You didn’t even realize you were crying.

“I’m always making you cry,” he notes, sadly. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up, I’m sorry that I doubted you — but I hope I’m not too late.” With your throat full of tears, all you can manage to do is shake your head almost violently at the notion. The space in your heart that Jacob occupies may have been boarded up for a time, but it was never empty, never could be; you were always watching for signs of life through the cracks in the wood. The Chinese boy draws you into his arms, rubbing calming circles along your spine whilst you ruin the shoulder of his sweater with your tears. Once you’ve finally managed to stop crying, reduced merely to sniffling awkwardly, Jacob finally speaks again. You feel the rumble of his words in your chest.

“Does this mean we have a chance?” He asks. You pull away, swiping at your cheeks with a broad smile on your face.

“Of course,” you say. “It may take some time, but, you know what they say. Better late than never.” 

And it does take time, but it’s all worth it with Jacob by your side.

[wronqness99]

Sweet Heart

> About my writing

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/suicidal behaviour and depression

Word Count: 2.5K+

Characters: St. Van/Lee GeumHyuk (VAV) X Female Reader

Inspired by VAV’s song Sweet Heart (composed by our wonderful ACE)

*The image doesn’t belong to me, credits to the owner.*

Y/N had met GeumHyuk during what she considered to be the worst time of her life.

He had felt an instant connection with the girl from the very first time he saw her at the psychiatric ward of the hospital he worked at. Every time she went in for an appointment, the man made sure to take a break just so they could talk and get to know one another for a while.

During those moments, Y/N and Geumhyuk had been able to develop a friendship. He had gotten to know her favourite colour was orange, that she loved nature, reason why she often went on hikes and that listening to music was her way of disconnecting from the world, allowing her to create a safe place within her own mind even if just for a short period of time. Geumhyuk had even had the pleasure of meeting her younger brother, Park Heejun, whom he found to be such a nice and caring kid, always worrying and taking care of his noona, sometimes even going to the extent of scheduling appointments of his own just so he could talk to his sister's doctor in order to better understand her condition and learn what he could do to help her health get back on track.

The younger boy was well aware of GeumHyuk's feelings for his noona and he could definitely tell she had become significantly happier prior to meeting the receptionist. Heejun had developed some kind of hope that the man would be the one to exorcise the demons from his sister's pretty brain. He had hopes that he'd be the one to save her.

Y/N started scheduling her appointments according to Geumhyuk's shifts, that way they were able to go on dates, whether that involved going to the cinema and eating together or simply walking home together. The red headed male always insisted on walking Y/N home first and then taking the bus to his own home. He liked to make sure she got home safe and sound.

On one of those days, while walking to a pizzeria close to the hospital, Y/N had acquired the courage to hold his hand for the first time. Geumhyuk was taken aback for a moment after their skins came into contact, a big smile breaking through his plump lips as he registered what had just happened. The man leaned over and placed one of his hands on her cheek, pulling her closer and pressing his lips to her temple. Y/N looked at him, their eyes meeting as a dreamy smile took over their expressions.

They ate their pizza over a good conversation, a dosage of heartfelt laughs and a wave of positive energies that filled the whole room. After dinner, they headed to a local store and bought some chocolate ice cream, heading over to the man's place for a movie night filled with snacks and sweets, something GeumHyuk would generally oppose to, but decided to make an exception for her.

After they had set everything on the small table of his living room, they finally sat down on the couch next to one another, ready to watch her favourite movie, "The Corpse Bride", which GeunHyuk had never seen or even heard of. That piece of information had shocked Y/N who had then firmly insisted on making it the choice of the night, insisting that despite its sad nature, the movie told a story too beautiful not to be known.

A small smirk formed on Geumhyuk's lips as he felt her gaze on him, his eyes averting towards her own.

"I want to cuddle you," she stated cutely, a pout forming on her lips. The red headed man chuckled and opened his arms wide so she could make them her home for the night.

"What are you still doing there then?" Y/N smiled moving closer to him, his arms holding her close to his body as hers circled his middle, allowing them both to feel each other's warmth. The girl smiled,  head leaning against his chest as she tilted it up so she could see his handsome face, their eyes meeting in the process.

"Oppa, actually... There is one more thing I would like to do. I hope you don't get mad at me," She said barely above a whisper, biting her lip. His eyebrows furrowed, curious about what it was the girl wanted so badly. His heart skipped a beat as he felt her soft lips pressed against his plump ones in a chaste kiss.

"Are you mad?" The girl questioned hesitantly after breaking the kiss, her hand moving towards his face and caressing his round cheeks that she loved so much with a feather like touch. Geumhyuk chuckled and caressed her hip, shaking his head and pulling her in for another kiss, a deeper one this time. The girl smiled against his lips, her hand tangling onto the short hairs in the back of his head. They pulled away feeling slightly out of breath, their eyes glimmering as they looked at one another.

"Lee GeumHyuk, I think I'm in love with you," Y/N stated, still trying to catch her breath.

"Well, that's good, because I know I love you."

That night, after watching the movie, Y/N ended up sleeping over at his house, waking up the next morning to Geumhyuk's awesome, sweet voice singing right next to her ear. Looking to the side, Y/N saw him singing, a bright smile taking over his lips as he noticed she had woken up. His left hand was supporting his head as he laid by her side while his right one held an orange-ish yellow rose. Y/N's eyes glimmered in amazement as a smile broke through her lips.

" I didn't know you could sing," she said, her smile evident in her voice. Geumhyuk's smile widened and he leant forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Did you sleep well?" He questioned receiving a nod in return. Geumhyuk looked at the rose he held, extending it in her direction. Y/N sat up and smiled, accepting the rose as a rosy colour took over her cheeks.

"Thank you!"

Geumhyuk sat up and held her free hand, eyes locking with her's right after.

"So, about last night..." He started, being interrupted by the girl.

"I meant every word I said," She stated firmly, looking him dead in the eye.

"Then... Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?" He questioned, a smirk appearing at the corner of his lips. The girl's eyes filled with tears.

"If you are willing to deal with my depressed, crazy self... Then, sure," She replied her hand tangling with the hairs on the back of his head as she pulled him in for a kiss. When they pulled away, the man left a soft kiss on the tip of her nose, a sense of peace and happiness filling their beings.

"Well, my beautiful girlfriend, we have banana pancakes that I made for you in the kitchen."

Hearing Geumhyuk’s words, Y/N jumped out of bed and ran towards the kitchen, making him laugh before getting up and following his now girlfriend's steps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything had been going great for the couple. Heejun could not shut up about how he had predicted the couple since the beginning, which always made his sister blush, wondering if she had been that obvious over her feelings for Geumhyuk.

"It was really obvious! And it was equally as obvious how head over heels in love with you he was as well, how could you not notice? He did everything in his power to see you happy, to make you smile, to scare those terrible ideas away from your pretty little brain..." He pressed his lips into a thin line, looking at his noona. "And we both know he is the reason you haven't taken yourself away from us," Heejun stated hesitantly. Y/N knew he was right.

Lee Geumhyuk had brought colour and happiness to her life. His kindness and care towards the girl had managed to scare her ghosts away.

She had spent years going to the psychiatrist in order to cure something Geumhyuk had been able to scare away in a matter of months solely with the love he had for her. He made her want to stay alive. She wanted to live for what their love story could be. He didn't judge her, he loved her for who she was, he made her feel loved and special. Y/N felt happy just hearing his laugh, there was nothing in the world capable of calming her down more than his sweet voice. Lee Geumhyuk had been like a breath of fresh air in the girl's worthless life.

This was the reason why what happened next was so unexpected.

One day while at work Geumhyuk got a call from a very frantic Heejun, who tried to speak through tears and desperation, making it hard for the older man to understand his words.

"Heejun, calm down, I can't understa-"

"Hyung, noona just texted me, the thoughts are back, she said she's gonna..." His throat closed up on him, more tears spilling from his eyes at the thought of losing his sister forever. Geumhyuk went static, swallowing hard.

"It can't be..." He mumbled, his eyes shaking. The man blinked as if trying to wake up from a nightmare, however, everything was very real.

"I'll be right there." Geumhyuk finished the call with a shaky voice, his heart beating faster than ever before. He needed to get to her fast. Grabbing his belongings, the man ran out, not worrying about the possible repercussions his action could have.

He couldn't understand.

Everything had been going so well, what could possibly have triggered her depression again?

Thinking about it just made him run faster, the wind making the traces of his tears even more evident as it made them run down his cheeks faster, some even dissipating into his hair. He just wanted to save her. All Geumhyuk wanted was for Y/N to be ok.

Getting to the front of the sibling's house, the receptionist ran to the front door, thanking all the Gods she'd given him a key to the place earlier on their relationship. The man pushed the door open and immediately heard Heejun's screams coming from upstairs, which made him bolt there, finding the younger male trying to force the bathroom door open.

"Heejun," He called, as he walked in his direction, making the youngest look at him.

"Hyung," He sobbed. "I was at work and I got this text from her saying she's a burden for everyone and that she can't keep the ones she loves the most from living a happy life." Geumhyuk shook his head and looked at the door.

"Is she in there?"

"She is, she isn't opening the door or answering me... I'm scared." He stated lowly with a wobbly voice. He was afraid of they were going to find on the other side of the door. Heejun hoped they were still in time to save her.

"Let's try to break in, we might be able to put the door down together," The older said, getting into position. "Ok, on three." Proceeding to the countdown, both men threw themselves at the door, finally succeeding at breaking the door lock after two more tries.

The door hit the wall with a bang, allowing Geumhyuk to find his girlfriend in a trance like state, staring at a bunch of pills that rested on the palm of her hand. Heejun froze at the sight. The man was in shock, he could not understand what had gotten his sister to get to that point.

Geumhyuk's eyes widened as he took quick steps towards the woman, swatting her hand and consequently making the pills fly all over the room.

Y/N jumped in surprise, being taken from her trance. Tears spilled down her face as her body shook, losing strength and falling to the ground. Her boyfriend immediately kneeled next to her, pulling her body towards his own and holding her tightly, trying his best to provide her with some kind of comfort which he knew was very needed.

Y/N sobbed and hid her face on his neck, holding onto his shirt tightly. The red headed man ran his hand through her hair in an attempt to soothe his lover.

"Baby... Why?" The man questioned, his voice barely above a whisper, trying to process everything that was happening. Y/N sighed, exhausted.

"I am a burden to everyone. Heejun goes out of his way to take care of me, who is older than him. I should be the one caring for her little brother, but here I am, making him have to put his life on hold so he can go speak to my psychiatrist every week to make sure my suicidal tendencies don't take the best of me. Heejun doesn't have a life because of me. He lives for me and my shitty situation. And you... You are so perfect Geumhyuk. I don't know how I got this lucky to have met you, to have had you fall in love with me... I am so messed up, I... I just can't control the demons in my head. I was doing so well since we met, but as soon as I was alone, my brain started to overthink. My demons came back and told me  I am being a burden to the ones I love and care the most about. That I should simply just not exist and everything would be so much easier and better for you guys. And I mean, they're not wrong... I'm so tired of being myself." She sighed, lowering her head.

"Don't ever say that again, Park Y/N," Geumhyuk said, his voice sending chills down her spine. "Do you know how much we love you? Do you know how much pain we would have been in had you taken those pills?" He questioned, his voice shaking as he broke down. "Y/N, I love you so damn much. Your brother does what he does for you because he loves you, he wants to know how you are doing. You are his family. You have no idea how happy he gets when your doctor tells him how much you have progressed, that you are enjoying the present and have plans for the future. You certainly aren't a burden to me either. You are my person, my missing half. I love you for yourself, Y/N. I told you from the start that whatever is going through your mind, I want to help you with it. You are not a mess. You are depressed, you are feeling and there is nothing wrong with that. Get it through your beautiful brain. Fill it with our loving words so the demons get so scared that they leave for good. With all your positive traits and flaws, I want you. I want us. I want all of it. With you. Only with you, Y/N." He affirmed, looking deep into her crying eyes. The girl reached up and stroked his cheek, his head leaning onto her palm.

"What did I do to deserve you?" She questioned out loud. He himself would wonder the same sometimes and he couldn't find an answer. He didn't know how he had gotten such an amazing girl, that's the tricky part about life. The best things are never earned, they fall onto our laps out of nowhere with no warning whatsoever and come to make us tremendously happy.

Like their love for one another.

"I'm sorry, please don't give up on me, I promise I will try hard and get better, oppa. I, too, want it all with you. And I want my brother to live his life without having to worry about me every waking moment of the day. I will get better, please just be patient with me."

"Sweet Heart, I'm going to love you in your weakest moments and your strongest ones. I'm going to love you when you're happy and I'm still going to love you when you are sad. When you can't look on the bright side I will sit with you in the dark. Love, don't you understand? I'm here with you and I don't plan on going anywhere." He stated, placing his lips to her forehead, his hold on her tightening.

"Noona, we will be here for you every step of the way. I believe in you. I know you can do it." Heejun said, crouching down next to the couple and rubbing his hand up and down his sister's arm comfortingly. "You are not a burden to any of us, it's a pleasure to climb this mountain by your side and see your progress." The man finished. Geumhyuk nodded in agreement and smiled softly. "We will never give up on you. And we won't let you give up on yourself either." The girl smiled tiredly, eyes darting between both men.

"I have two pretty big reasons to keep going, I can see that now."

That day, she learned something: We can never be good enough for everyone, however, we will always be perfect for those who love us and are deserving of our love. A person that truly loves us will never let us go no matter how hard the situation gets. They accept us for who we are.

Maybe Y/N didn't have a lot of friends, but she had her brother and a loving man who had sworn to spend forever by her side, and that alone made her want to know what forever looked like.

MASTERLIST

[thatmpdblog]

Drabbles/Scenarios Masterlist

[Main Masterlist]

✨ - fluff 💋 - smut 🌈 - mlm/wlw 🔥 - angst

Amber Liu: Amber + revealing clothes 💋🌈 

CL: CL + giving punishment 💋🌈

Hyuna: Hyuna + cooking ✨🌈

San: San + receiving oral  💋

Daehyun: Daehyun + formal dance ✨ Daehyun + giving oral 💋

Jongup: Jongup + rough sex  💋

Yongguk: Yongguk + comforting you after a nightmare ✨ Yongguk + public teasing   💋

G-Dragon: “Cherries” ✨ Jiyong + meeting in an elevator  ✨💋

Jennie: Jennie + FaceTime ✨🌈

Lisa: Lisa + playtime 💋🌈

Zico: Zico + giving punishment 💋

Jimin: Jimin + school assignment ✨🌈 “His Majesty”  💋

Jungkook: Jungkook + wall fucking   💋

RM: Namjoon + public teasing 💋 Namjoon + Daddy kink 💋

Suga: “Relax” (Fluff version)  ✨ “Relax” (Smut version) 💋 “Punishment” 💋 Spending your birthday with Yoongi (moodboard + drabble) ✨

Threesome with Suho and D.O 💋

Baekhyun: Baekhyun + road trip ✨🌈 Baekhyun + rainy night  💋

Chanyeol: Chanyeol + receiving oral 💋

Kai: Kai + dance practice ✨

Kris: Kris + Friends With Benefits 💋 Kris + filmed sex 💋 “Tongue Tied” ✨💋

Lay: Yixing + waking up  ✨ Yixing + you go into Kitten Space  ✨

Sehun: Sehun + receiving oral 💋🌈

Suho: “Dessert” (moodboard + drabble) 💋 Junmyeon + masturbation talk 💋

Tao: Tao + kissing   ✨

Xiumin: Minseok + public teasing 💋 Minseok + Daddy kink 💋

Threesome with Mark & Yugyeom 💋

Bambam: Bambam + waking up ✨

Jackson: Jackson + caring for you when you are sick ✨ “Just A Dream” 🔥✨

Jaebum: Jaebum + stress relief 💋 Stepbrother Jaebum 💋 Jaebum + Daddy kink 💋 Jaebum + Daddy kink part 2 💋

Mark: “Hickies” ✨💋🌈

Yugyeom: “Mine” (Part 1)   💋 “Mine” (Part 2)   💋

Threesome with Shownu and Minhyuk 💋

Hyungwon: Hyungwon + Skype call ✨

I.M: “Bruises” 💋🌈

Jooheon: Jooheon + thigh riding 💋

Kihyun: “Autumn Leaves” ✨

Minhyuk: Minhyuk + fingering 💋

Shownu: Shownu + club dancing 💋

Wonho: Wonho + waking up ✨

Taeyong: Alpha!Taeyong 💋

Yuta: Yuta + stargazing ✨

Chan: “Autumn Droplets” ✨

Kiseop: Vampire!Kiseop (moodboard + drabble) 

St. Van: Priest!Geumhyuk  💋

Leo: CEO!Leo  💋 Leo + biting ✨💋

Ravi: Ravi + buying you lingerie  💋

[yeosangs-horizon]

VAV MASTERLIST 

ST. VAN | LEE GEUMHYUK  

↬ 16:05 | fluff 

BARON |  CHOI CHUNGHYEOP

↬ ...loading

AYNO | NOH YOONHO

↬ ...loading

ACE | JANG WOOYOUNG 

↬ 18:11 | fluff

↬ 22:18 | smut

LOU | KIM HOSUNG

↬ ...loading

JACOB | JANG PENG

↬ ...loading

ZIU | PARK HEEJUN

↬ 19:32 | angst

[cosmichoneyedblossoms]

Secret Velvet

Pairing: Gangster Ziu x Lawyer Reader

Genre: Gangster!au x Lawyer!au | Angst | Smut

Word Count: 1,889

A/N: @xkpopobsessedx asked for a Ziu imagine not too long after he became her bias, it’s taken me forever to write him, but here he is

[[MORE]]

Pulling up into your usual parking spot in the driveway, you sighed leaning back into the driver's seat, taking a moment to breathe before walking into a house filled with rowdy men. The white siding of the house held the glow of the porch light, the windows spilled the light from inside the walls, it fading into the dark midnight that cloaked the town—the gorgeous farmhouse definitely didn’t match the people who reside in it. You turned off the car and stepped out to notice a cab pulling up to the driveway of the house, the front door opened to reveal a woman with bleached strands of pleasure tangled hair stepping out of the house.

A woman…?

Another body appeared in the doorway, this time a body you knew. You walked up the sidewalk for a voice to call out your name, “Y/N. You’re home late.” Baron’s throaty voice made you look up at him, the woman standing next to him wore a contorted sneer as she watched you walk up the steps of the porch.

“I know.” You tried to push past him when his hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him until you were pressed against his body.

“You should’ve let us know you were gonna be this late.” You looked up into his liquor tainted eyes, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“Law student papers take a while to grade, B.” He nodded, humming a response when his eyes flicked over to the woman standing there.

“Why’re you still standing there? Your cab is here.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Whatever, Baron.”

“See ya later… Krissy.” He chuckled, rubbing your side. You could tell that she was annoyed by the way he was tossing her out like last nights garbage.

“It’s Kimmy...” She huffed turning on her heels and stormed her way to the cab. You waited until the car pulled off to shove Baron from your body.

“What the fuck man.” You walked into the house and kicked off your heels while Baron chuckled behind you.

“I’m sorry, she was getting to close for my liking—”

“Y’know, you could just stop bringing girls home from the clubs you guys go to. They’re all trashy.” You hissed walking down the hall towards the living room.

“Hey don’t get mad at me. We all brought girls home.” You stood in the archway of the living room to see the rest of the guys lounging around the room.

“All of you brought girls home?” Your question didn’t seem to surprise them as five heads nodded.

“Most of us had them out before one.” Lou gruffed and you glanced down at your watch.

“It’s almost two-thirty—hold on, all of you had women in my house?” Dropping your messenger bag, you crossed your arms, your blood starting to boil.

“Is that a problem?” Geumhyuk cocked his head like they weren’t criminals.

“Is it because we’re criminals?” Ace laughed, nudging Ziu who sat quietly next to him, avoiding eye contact with you.

“Don’t act like you aren’t. You guys were caught on camera yesterday after fighting with a rival gang and you decided to celebrate your victory by going to the club and bringing trashy women into my home, which by the way, I’m graciously letting you live here—”

“Y/N—”

“Do not interrupt me, Jacob!” You growled, your face flushed with frustration while you took a deep breath, “So if you want to get your rocks off…Go. To. A. Hotel.” All seven heads nodded, their agreement only slightly alleviating your annoyance, “I’m taking a shower then going to bed…” You walked past the boys to the double doors that sat next to the stairs and opened them to disappear into your side of the house.

The scalding water against your skin helped bring your anger back down, aided in melting away your stress of the day. You could fall asleep in the warmth, but you needed to sleep in your bed tonight, spending every night in your home office chair has your back begging for a break; with that thought, you turned off the water and stepped out of the shower to wrap a towel around your glistening skin. You began to start your nightly routine when a knock came from the door accompanied with the creaking of its opening, “Don't you have enough manners to not walk into a room where you know a woman is undressed?” The casual tone that fell from your lips caused a muffled chuckle to come through the sliding door separating you from the other person.

“Oh, I do, but not for you.” The door slid open for Ziu’s towering height and electric red hair to step into your space.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You grabbed your bottle of toner and a cotton pad and began to tone your skin.

“What do you think it means?” His voice filled the steam tainted air around you causing your heart to race, you didn’t have to look at him to know his eyes were trailing your exposed skin.

“Just because I’m your lawyer doesn’t make me less than a woman, I’m just an extremely less trashy version of the girls you guys bring home.” Tossing the toner soaked pad into the trash you started to apply moisturizer to your skin; cold fingers ghosted over the back of your neck, their gentleness carefully threading themselves into your messily damp hair.

“Are you jealous?” All your senses were focused on his voice that appeared close to your ear, so close you could feel the heat from his breath tickling the outer shell.

“No, I’m not.”

“Then you won’t be upset when I say my girl is here?” He could see your eyebrows furrow in the hazy mirror, feel your body tense under the touch of his fingertips.

“What?” You tried to hide the twinge of anger in your voice, but it was hard.

“She’s here, waiting for me to just strip her of what little clothing she has on…” His fingers slipped under the hem of the towel that loosely hugged your frame, “Her eyes have been screaming for me to squeeze between her thighs—”

“Ziu…” You hissed hearing him ramble on about the girl in his room, waiting for him, “What did I say downstairs? Get your trash out—”

“You really want me to take you outside? I mean if you want to fuck in moonlight and grass, we can.” He hummed pulling your back against his hard chest, ghosting his lips over your shoulder and sliding his fingers up your thighs, the sweetest of chills flooded your skin, “I didn’t know you were into public sex…” His long extremities brushed over the shape of your pussy, his touch already sending pleasure coursing through your body.

“I’m not… It’s against the law…” Spreading your legs more for him, he dipped fingers between your smooth lips, the pads of his fingers instinctively went to your clit while his lips burned their shape into the bend of your neck, his teeth animalistically marking you as his, staining your silk with the finest red wine. His fingers found your already wet hole, a slight hiss escaped him as he slipped two of them into your wetness.

“You’re always ready for me, aren’t you?” You couldn’t confess what him being around did to your body, he didn’t need to touch you for your body to drool, all he had to do was look at you—his eyes had your body in his trap. The curling of his fingers in your core had your previous thoughts melting away into bliss, he knew just how you liked it, knew just how you wanted it, he loved pleasing you…

“Ziu…” You gasped as your body was roughly bent over the counter, the coolness of the granite countertop bit at your blazing skin as your towel fell down to the ground.

“You’re so hot when you get all authoritative over us…” He pulled his hand from between your thighs to unbutton his pants, dark denim and black boxers fell to his ankles as his hand gripped his throbbing length and ran it up and down your slit, coating his cock in your naughty juices, “Am I the only one who knows you like to be dominated?” His question was all too rhetorical for you to answer because he knew he was and even if you did, you were too focused on the head of his cock sliding over your swollen clit to give a coherent answer. You pushed your hips to him, pinning his cock to his stomach, and you ground your need against him; your slick warmth caused a growl to escape his lips, “Careful what you ask for.” Rough fingers gripped your soft hips, his throbbing length delved deep into your gooey heat. A quiet hum left him, slender fingers traveled up your goosebumps ridden skin to tangle them in your damp strands of hair. The most blissful sound radiated from you as he pulled your head back by your hair while he prodded at your sensitive spot, he enjoyed being inside you, but he could honestly get off on the gasps and moans you made—in his eyes, you’re an angel falling from grace, comfortably indulging in sin.

Aggressive thrusts took over his hips, his cock rammed into you wildly, greedy attacking all the spots he knew you loved to have teased. The ache in your stomach craved release, the urge echoed through your every pulsing nerve; with each stroke of his cock in your drooling pussy, you turned into a moaning mess, not giving one care if the guys next door heard you. Ziu unburied his hand from your hair to wrap it around your neck, his thumb and index cradled your chin while he pulled you back to him, his cock already beginning to throb between your glistening lips, “I’m so close…” He growled, nipping at your ear lobe.

“Please don’t stop, Ziu…” You whined, your orgasm right on the edge of unraveling; his fast pace told you how close he was, but he wasn’t the guy to leave you hanging, especially with how close you were.

“C’mon baby, help me…” He panted and you reached between your legs and rubbed at your taut clit, your walls almost immediately clamped down on him causing him to hiss, the end of his rope already in sight. The knot in your stomach finally unraveled around him, your convulsing walls became too much for him as he tried to guide you from your high that he pulled from your creamy core to move you down onto your knees, “Say ‘ah’.” You opened your mouth, his eyes focus on your glazed over eyes as he pumped his cum onto your face, watching his cum drip down your face onto your breasts.

“So tell me the truth.” Ziu flipped the light off to your bedroom as he walked towards your bed, “Were you jealous?”

“W-What?” You stammered pulling the blankets up to your face, “I was not jealous.”

“Are you sure? You got really defensive when I mentioned I had a girl…” He crawled into bed next to you, his head falling a few inches away from yours, “Why would I bring home trash when I have a diamond at home?”

[kpophours]

VAV masterlist

✩ = fluff  |  ☾ = angst  |  ♡ = smut  |  ☼ = humor

DISCLAIMER: anything marked (M) contains mature content

Geumhyuk (St. Van)

Undead Savior | one shot, vampire AU ✩☾ | 4.1k

↳ you wake up, covered in blood, head hurting, not knowing where you are. the last thing you remember is some stranger attacking you - and then, suddenly, you hear soft, careful footsteps outside of your room... 

[2:35am] | time stamp, boyfriend AU ✩

prompt game | drabble, co-worker AU ✩

Chunghyeop (Baron)

A World In-between | one shot, angel AU ✩☾ | 2.5k

↳ trapped between living and dying, you’ve been wandering the hallways of the hospital, every day and every night. that is, until you meet a handsome stranger with a soft smile, who’s showing you that there’s more to this strange world than you know...

[10:20am] | time stamp, boyfriend AU ✩

Wooyoung (Ace)

Prince of Hell | one shot, demon AU ✩☾ | 3.5k

↳ years ago, you’ve made a deal with the devil - quite literally, by selling your soul to save your little brother. since then, you’ve been stuck in Hell, filing souls. one day, a handsome demon with a kind face steps into your office - he goes by the name of Ace...

[6:10pm] | time stamp, boyfriend AU ✩

prompt game | drabble, confession AU ✩

prompt game | drabble, spy AU ✩

Yoonho (Ayno)

Bewitched | one shot, warlock AU, college AU ✩ | 3k

↳ having an eccentric research partner is one thing. but having an eccentric research partner who’s suddenly disappearing, practically ghosting you?! that’s an absolute no-go. so you’re determined to get him to talk to you...

[3:40am] | time stamp, boyfriend AU ✩

prompt game | drabble, roommate AU, friends to lovers AU ✩

Hosung (Lou)

Nightbringer | one shot, hunter AU ✩☾ | 4.7k

↳ you’re a witch - and a dedicated girlfriend. so, when a rogue vampire stalks your boyfriend’s city, you immediately ask him over to your apartment, trying to protect him - not knowing that there’s something way more sinister waiting for you....

[9:50pm] | time stamp, barkeeper AU ✩

prompt game | drabble, friends to lovers AU ✩

Jacob

Moonlight Hours (M) | drabble, honeymoon AU ♡✩

Heejun (Ziu)

A Lucky Puppy | one shot, werewolf AU, college AU ✩ | 4.9k

↳ one semester spend abroad, a dream come true. at your side, your outgoing, loud and funny “buddy” Ziu. ever since seeing him for the first time, you’ve felt a strange pull towards him - but you’re only staying for a few months, so a relationship with him is out of question... right?

[3:15am] | time stamp, boyfriend AU ✩

prompt game | drabble, confession AU ✩

other

VAV as tumblr text posts

© kpophours

[masterlist] | [requests]

[noris-nebula]

[9:37 am]

Lee Geumhyuk

i e d g y b i t c h

[kpoprunsmylifenow]

I Wanna Make You Mine Chapter 2:

Dongwon had been looking into this new group, A.C.E. You’d found out that they’d been hitting almost everyone. They’d been taking shipments that was mostly drugs and weapons. Heejun and Zelo had been sent to spy on them for a little while, and hadn’t gotten much from it. There were a couple of people who they both had seen them before, and they figured they were the ones who were A.C.E’s insiders. Since the attack, you and Yongguk hadn’t been anywhere by yourselves. Jihun made sure to be near you at all times since then, fearing that they’ll target you next. Yongguk had made sure to go get Hicham as soon as possible, he got him 2 days after. He’d been pretty beat up, he’d said a little about it to Heejun and Zelo, but nothing really to you or Yongguk.

“Y/N.” You heard Jihun say as he knocked on your open door. “There’s been another shipment stolen.” You huffed and grabbed your jacket.

“Let’s fuckin’ go.” You told one of your lower guys to go get the rest of the guys. When you got to the cars, everyone was already there. Seoham was handing you your 2 pistols, when you got comfortable inside. You gave them the rundown of what you know, and Jihun added in what he knew. You made sure to tell Jongup about what happened, and what you were doing before you got out of the vehicle.

Walking into the warehouse, you huffed. There were bodies everywhere. Some of them weren’t yours, so you made sure that they were all searched before you began to walk around to see if you could find any clues. There were a couple of your higher guys that you could tell had been searched. You knew that they didn’t have anything on them, knowing that they’d get slaughtered by you if they gave up any information, accident or not. You didn’t get much from there, but you could tell that they had a lot of lowers. 

On the way back to your house, you realized that someone was following you. Jihun looked over at you, and you nodded. You all knew what was going to happen, you weren’t about to give them the location of your own home. You called Jongup.

“What’s up?” He asked as you heard him rolling around in his chair.

“I need to make this quick. We’re being followed. I’m just informing you now. I’m pretty sure it’s them, so when Jihun get’s to you, make sure you track me down so I know where to hit them after I murder their dumbass leaders.” You saw them speeding up. “Guys.” You said quietly. “Brace yourselves.” And then you got hit. Jihun tried to keep you on the road, but he could only do so much. The airbags deployed when you started to roll. You must’ve blacked out, because when you came too you heard someone talking outside.

“Did you really have to make them flip?” You heard them groan out. “Now it’s gonna be hard to get her door off.”

“Well, how do you expect me to get her?” The other person asked. “You know the bosses what her alive. They were already trying to get info out of that B.A.P. guy, but he wouldn’t give them anything. So they’re gonna try something worse with her.” And then your door was being torn open. When you opened your eyes, you saw a guy with short black hair and silver hair looking at you. “Well, I really fucked them up.” The smaller one laughed as the dark haired one started to drag you out. What little of your body didn’t hurt, you tried to move away from him, but you didn’t move far enough away.

“Well while you get her out, I’ll have the others tie everyone else up and I’ll check on her injuries before we leave.” You blacked out again, and when you woke up again, it was to the silver haired boy leaning over you. You punched him and tried to get up, but you hurt a lot. Groaning as you tried to get to your feet, you were grabbed and held against a chest, which only made your side hurt more.

“Where are you going?” You heard him laughed a little. “We were trying to be considerate, but since you want to be difficult.” He sighed and brought you over to a blacked out car. “Come on guys. If you’re done with those idiots then lets go.” Someone was bringing the silver haired boy to the car, his lip busted from where you hit him. And then there was a bag being placed over your head.

---

When you woke again, you were tied to a chair. Thankfully your injuries had been taken care of while you were passed out. Groaning, you looked around to see what you could find out about this place. There was one door, and it was a usual torture room. There was one working light that sat a little ways behind you, a door that was to your left, and a wall of weapons that sat in front of you with a dim light over them.

Fuck.

You decided to get some sleep while you could, it was going to be a while before you could sleep peacefully.

---

The first thing you heard when you woke up was to voices by the weapons wall. You wish you had your own pistols in their respective holsters, but they’d taken them and left them at the crash. God you hope that Jihun and the guys were alright. You’d grown close to them while you were growing up, so you’d feel guilty if they got killed now.

“She’s been passed out for a while.” You heard a new voice say, it wasn’t any of the guys from the crash.

“Maybe she got a concussion from the crash. Keonhee sent me a picture of the car, it was pretty bad.” Another new voice said as they stepped near you and grabbed your head. Your head still hurt, but you tried not to tense up when they touched you. “We’ll wait a few more hours and if she’s not awake by then we’ll go get up some of her henchmen.” And with that they left.

You opened your eyes to see that your chair had been moved back. You groaned, realizing that they’d changed your bandages, which means you’d had an opportunity to try an escape. But you’d wasted it trying to get some sleep. You decided that you’d stay awake this time, not wanting them to go after any of the boys.

When they finally came in, you were inspecting under your nails, since you heard them coming down the hall towards your room.

“Ah, she’s finally awake.” You heard as 2 men walked into the room.

“Yeah. That’s what happens when you crash my car.” You sassed.

“Oh, Donghun she’s gonna give you a run for your money with her sass.” The one with grey hair said. Donghun rolled his eyes and made his way towards you.

“How are you feeling princess?” He asked with a sickly sweet smile. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not a princess.” You sighed. “I’m the queen, so let’s stop playing games and you tell me what you really want.” You would’ve crossed your arms and legs if they hadn’t been tied.

“Oh,” The other one awed. “She’s feisty. Sehyoon will like her.”

“What we want is your empire.” Donghun said as he walked back over to the rack of weapons. “You, or whoever is running your group, has made quite the name for themselves.” You rolled your eyes. You knew that you’d kept your role in the group hidden, mainly because of your father, and you never clarified after he died. So no one really knew about who was running the group. 

“Then why did you kidnap me if you don’t know who’s running the group?” You knew you were trying to get under their skin.

“Well you obviously are important. You were with a whole group of henchmen when you went to check the shipment we stole.” You rolled your eyes and looked bored.

“Or I couldn’t matter and you’re wasting your time.” They eyed you a minute before Donghun pulled the other closer to talk. You couldn’t really hear them, but you did find out that the other’s name was Byeongkwan. And you heard that their leaders name was Jun. You made sure to tell Yongguk when you got out.

“You know,” Byeongkwan said as he walked closer to you. “You must be high up if your talking with B.A.P.” He grabbed your chin and made you look at him. “But we don’t know. Well, for right now.” He smiled sinisterly and let go of you while Donghun came closer to you.

“Let’s get started.” And the torture began.

---

You honestly didn’t know how long you’d been here in the basement. 5 guys had come to visit you, and you were surprised you hadn’t passed out from blood loss yet. But you had been getting patched up so you wouldn’t die. They hadn’t gotten any of the information they wanted, but the sass you’d been giving them wasn’t making them any happier. They’d been going harder on you, you guess because they knew that your guys were gonna be coming to find you soon.

You woke up to a loud bang. You hoped it was Jihun and the guys. But it wasn’t. When you saw a couple guys come into the room you were being held in and stop.

“Uh.” The one with blonde hair say. “Ace what are we gonna do with her?”

“Well obviously you’re gonna release me!” You yelled as you struggled to make it to the wall with all the weapons on it. Ace grabbed the back of your chair.

“Do you know how long you’ve been here?” He asked cutting the ropes that held you to the chair. You groaned as the feeling came back into your limbs.

“I don’t know.” You said as you tried to stand up, but the tall guy that was by the door came and helped you up. “I need to find Jihun.” You grabbed 2 pistols off the wall and made sure there was ammo in it. “As long as you can keep me upright, then I can help get us out of here.”

As you were trying to get through the hallways, you caught a glimpse of their leader. You took off after him, pushing your body to the limit. You caught up to him, and tackled him to the ground.

“Bitch!” Jun said he tried to land a punch on you. You kicked him in the stomach, making him clutch his stomach.

“You should really learn to not fuck with people.” You laughed as he spit at you. “Especially the leaders.” And then you shot him.

Walking back to where Ace and the blonde guy where, you had weapons drawn on you.

“You all can calm down. I’m leaving.” You said as you walked towards the door. You felt someone grab you.

“No you’re not.” They chuckled. You almost broke his arms when you flipped him over you, working your body more than you should. Making sure to draw your weapon on him.

“I said I’m leaving. I need to go make sure they didn’t kill the rest of my men.” You groaned as you stepped to leave, but your knees gave out. The two boys that helped you out grabbed you before you could hit the ground.

“Hey, you should really take it easy.” A shorter blonde man said as he crouched beside you. You shook your head. “Well can you tell me what happened to you?”

“I was kidnapped and tortured to try and give info on my group.” You groaned out as you tried to get on your feet. “I need to make sure Jihun and the guys are okay.” And then you passed out.

[imissjoongsmullet]

IMISSJOONGSMULLET MASTERLIST

Fireworks

Mingi x reader

fluff

angst

Jising Mafia AU

Jisung x reader x Yunho

angst

drabble

also has stray kids in it

Too Far

Bang Chan x reader

smut

5 part series

Mirrored

Felix x reader

smut

Something Better

Bang Chan x reader

college au

fluff/angst that eventually leads to smut

currently working on part 2

Jising Mafia AU

Jisung x reader x Yunho

angst

drabble

also has ATEEZ in it

has a part 2

Tricked You

Baekhyun x reader

fluff

An Evening with the Boys

Xiaojun x reader

fluff

has a sequel

The Morning after the Fact

said sequel

Xiaojun x reader

fluff

Lost Cause

Kun x reader

dark/angst/gore

might write more in this au

Caught in the Rain

Geumhyuk x reader

fluff

My Prince

Minghao x reader

royal au

fluff

angst

unfinished

[walnut-kyun]

i. anemone [st. van]

genre: angst

pairing: reader (gender neutral) x geumhyuk

word count: 2.3K

summary: part one of the vav floriology series

[anemones: forsaken; loving someone even after they’ve stopped loving you]

You broke up with Geumhyuk on a Wednesday. It was an idea you had given considerable thought to, but when it came down to the actual occasion it was unplanned and unrehearsed. In a rare moment of resolve, you called him, heart thudding as you secretly hoped he wouldn’t pick up and you could take it as a sign that you could just forget about the whole thing. But he picked up on the first ring, as he always did.

“____!” The smile in his voice is palpable and you briefly wonder if you can just hang up and pretend you drunk-dialed him. “Great timing! I was just about to call you and ask about next Saturday! Wait, can we video-call?”

“No, I look disgusting,” you say, immediately. It’s not a lie, you do look disgusting right now, but he’s seen you at all your worst moments. It’s really because you know if you saw his face, your resolution would crumble like dried flower petals.

“I’m sure you look beautiful like you always do,” he says without a beat. “But it’s okay, we don’t need to video-call. Are you still coming down to Seoul next week? I still feel bad we didn’t get to see each other over spring break, so I was thinking we could go on a date, maybe ride our bikes along Han River and go to that new dog café!”

“I don’t like dogs, Hyuk.”

“Oh, I forgot.” The excitement in his voice dims at the uncharacteristic sharpness of your tone. “Okay, no dog café. Cat café? Wait, I think it got shut down because of health violations. Let’s see, uh, maybe an owl café? My friend recently went there, and he said it-”

“Geumhyuk, we need to break up.”

The words are out before you realize it, and now it’s too late to say you called by mistake, it’s too late to laugh and say you’d love to go to the owl café with him, it’s too late. Everything changes now. The realization is so strange and jarring. Just like with the words, I love you, time comes to a stifling halt, teetering on the edge of the moment before crashing into the future where nothing can ever be the same. You’ll exit the day a different person than the one who entered it, and that’s a little frightening.

There’s a long silence and you check your phone to see if he hung up. He’s still there.

“Geumhyuk?”

You can hear him inhale sharply and clear his throat. “Yeah?”

“You okay?” It’s a useless question, obviously.

“I don’t understand,” he finally whispers. “What… why? Why would you say that?”

You struggle to find a coherent answer. Why? Well, you definitely knew why, having spent countless nights asking yourself the same question. It was natural, you reasoned, for two people to fall out of love, especially when they only got to see each other once or twice a year. Seasons pass, feelings fade. But the words get stuck in your throat as you stammer this to Geumhyuk over the phone. It doesn’t help that he’s begun crying and you know exactly what it looks like since you’ve seen him cry many times. He cried when he failed the college entrance exam, and when he broke his leg, and the first time you said you loved him. You had laughed at him then. You’re so silly, you’d said, wiping his tears with your sleeve. You’re making me feel bad. I promise I’ll never make you cry again. Seasons pass, feelings fade, promises get broken.

“You don’t love me anymore?”

His question breaks your heart and your final remnant of strength. The familiar sting of tears pricks at the corner of your eyes.

“Of course I do, but not in the same way I used to. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yes,” he says, in between broken hiccups and loud sniffles, but you know he’s lying. You need to plow on.

“Remember when we used to talk on the phone every night for hours, and never finished our homework? And we used to go on dates every Saturday, and you’d make the five-hour drive to come visit me in Busan, just because you missed me. And we went to hip-hop concerts and we thought we were both going to be doctors and open a clinic together.”

“____, please,” and he sounds exhausted. “We’ve been together for four years. Of course we’re going to change, but we’re still doing fine, aren’t we?”

“I guess, but… we’re so busy with college and we don’t have time for each other. I can’t remember the last time I spent more than a few hours with you, because you’re always doing internships abroad. Our dates always get cancelled because you need to finish a track, or I get called for a last-minute shift at the hospital. We like completely different things and want different things. You want to be a music producer, but I’m still doing pre-med. We’re so different now, and… I feel like neither of us really know each other anymore.”

“Do you really think that?”

“Geumhyuk, I found out that you compose tracks for a K-pop group by accident. You never told me. I didn’t even know you liked music production until that point.”

He’s silent and he knows you’re right. You had both been absent from each other’s lives as your college work became more serious, and he regrets it.

“I’m sorry,” he says after another long pause. “I’m so sorry, ___.”

“Please don’t apologize,” you rush to assure him. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, these things happen to every couple. It’s not your fault.”

“Of course it is!” he snaps. He rarely raises his voice around you, and it scares you every time. “How can you say that? It’s all my fault! I should have… I should have…” You can imagine him raking his hand through his hair in frustration, as is his habit. “If I had treated you better, this wouldn’t be happening!”

“Geumhyuk, no, this has nothing to do with the way you treated-”

“___,” and his voice has become almost desperate as he pleads with you. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you more, and I cancelled so many dates, but it won’t happen anymore! I promise! Just, don’t do this, please.”

He’s crying again and it hurts to think that this might be the last time you ever talk to him. This isn’t the way you want to remember him. “Hyuk, please. It’s not fair for you or me. I want you to be with someone who has time to give you the love you deserve, and right now, it’s not me. Please understand. I’m also really sorry, but we shouldn’t drag this on anymore. It will only hurt more later.”

Geumhyuk coughs. You wait for him to catch his breath after so much crying. “Okay,” he shakily agrees at last. “Let’s break up. But only because I love you.”

And time, which had been swaying precariously on the precipice of your decision, finally lurched forward and fell into a future where you and Geumhyuk were no longer together.

The next Wednesday, you come home tired and irritated. Everything had gone wrong that day. You had failed your molecular biology midterm (which you thought you’d done great on), left your jacket in the library, and spilled an enzyme solution and had to redo the lab, much to your lab partner’s annoyance. These were common happenings, but you had always had Geumhyuk and his infinite patience to offer you comfort and distraction in the form of cat videos. His absence from your life simply added a tinge of sorrow to the already unpleasant day.

“I’m home!” you announce, kicking your shoes off at the front door and throwing yourself on the sofa next to your roommate.

“You’re back late,” she says, not looking up from her paper.

“Yeah, I broke a vial in the lab and spilled stuff, so I had to stay after to redo it,” you grumble, nestling your head into her thigh. She sighs but doesn’t stop you. She hates how clingy you are, but is probably tolerating it because your freshly single status warrants cautious pity.

“Well, someone left something for you on the doorstep today. I put it on the kitchen table.”

“Really?” You hoist yourself up and stumble into the kitchen. A surprise package sounds like a welcome distraction from the day. But it’s not a package. It’s a large bouquet of red flowers.

“Who’s it from?” your roommate asks, craning her neck to get a look. She flashes you a mischievous smile. “Is it from a secret admirer? So soon?”

“Shut up,” you mumble. A small square of creamy cardstock is attached to the bouquet. To: ___ it reads. There is no mention of the bouquet’s giver, but you immediately know it’s from Geumhyuk. For a moment, the world narrows to a pinpoint where all you can see are the flowers, and there’s a dull ache in your chest from knowing he was here on your doorstep, and you missed him. If you hadn’t spilled the lab solution and had to stay late, would you have been able to catch him? Rationally, you know it would have been a bad idea, but even just seeing his back retreating down the street would have been enough.

“___?” Your roommate’s voice draws you back to the present. “Everything okay? You’ve just been standing there, staring at the floor for like, five minutes.”

“Yeah,” you say, snatching the bouquet off the table. “I need to uh, finish my lab report. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

You place the flowers on your desk and regard them from your bed. You’ve never seen flowers like these before. They’re beautifully red, round-petalled and clustered flatly around a wide, black stigma. You do a quick Google search. They’re not poppies. Trust Geumhyuk to pick the most uncommon kind of flower, you think with a sigh. You take a picture of the bouquet and send it to your mom, who’s always been overly passionate about botany.

A few minutes later your phone chimes with her response: anemones. Anemones? Aren’t those a type of sea creature? Nevertheless, you fill a jar with water and place the flowers in it. That night, you dream of gently swaying ocean plants and Geumhyuk’s face rippling along the waves.

The next Wednesday: two Wednesdays after the break-up. This time you are the one to find the bouquet of anemones on the doorstep. And this time, there’s a note.

“Floriology is a language communicated through flower symbolism,” you read aloud, making your way to the sofa. “Anemones have historically symbolized forsaken love.” You’re stunned by the message and the immaturity of his words. Forsaken love? As if you were simply a crush who had rejected him, and not his former girlfriend of four years. As if he was the only one left with feelings. You scoff and toss the flowers on the coffee table.

Truth be told, though, the pain was beginning to lessen each day. You’d had a lot more time to accept the decision than he had, having thought about it for months prior. By the time you had broken up with him, you were prepared. For Geumhyuk, on the other hand, the break-up was sudden and left him feeling unresolved. You understood, but still. You’d rather do without these kinds of petty reminders of his sadness.

It’s been a month now since you and Geumhyuk broke up. You received two more bouquets of red anemones in the two Wednesdays that passed. Even though you don’t appreciate the message conveyed through the floriology, or whatever he called it, you keep the flowers in water-filled jars around the apartment. Your roommate calls it “whipped aesthetic.”

On the fifth Wednesday, the one-month mark, you come home expecting to find a bouquet of anemones on the doorstep again. You don’t know how long Geumhyuk plans to keep this up, or how he’s financing the purchase and the weekly journeys from Seoul to Busan. You haven’t tried contacting him about the flowers, and he’s refrained from contacting you too.

Today, there’s nothing though. The doorstep is bare, save for the twisted welcome mat your roommate tripped over this morning. That’s good, you chide yourself as a small pang of disappointment settles in your stomach. It means he’s moved on. You remind yourself this throughout the night, but it doesn’t appease the fear that maybe he hates you now and wants to forget everything about you. He probably thinks I’m cold-hearted, you reason. How many weeks can this man send you flowers without you even acknowledging them, before he gives up?

That night your roommate throws your door open without knocking. “I’m so mad at you,” she glowers. She tosses a small bunch of pink azalea on your bed. “I don’t understand. I can’t even get a text back, but you still get flowers from your ex.” She shakes her head. “I’m going to bed.”

You wait for her to close the door before approaching the azaleas. They’re a little wilted and slightly damp. There’s another note attached to the stems, written on the same creamy cardstock.

To: ____. Azaleas are commonly given to loved ones as a request for them to take care of themselves. Some also believe they represent fondness for something you cannot return to. I gave you anemones, one for each year we loved each other, because I was afraid you would forget me. But I know you can never forget me, just like I can never forget you. Thank you a lot for loving me so unconditionally. Live a good life, meet a good person, and do good things. I hope you think of me in small moments of happiness – Hyukkie

Seasons pass, feelings fade. Hearts repair, and time begins to breathe again.