#gettoknowheena

[bespectacledbookworm]

I need to up my rockabilly game, I was clearly made for it. (Rockabilly style great for hiding overgrown hair)

[bespectacledbookworm]

My sister thinks I dress too goth so I'm showing her just how goth I can get.

[bespectacledbookworm]

Me, 10 yrs ago:

Me, today:

Ok ok ok we GET IT UR GORGEOUS, SHOW US THE GOOD STUFF!

u got it fam:

[bespectacledbookworm]

One time I went to a sleepover with a friend who is definitely not my friend anymore and I was like cool, are we all sharing the floor or bed or?? And my friend put me on the couch in the upstairs area, it was like a big weird loft on one side and on the other there were the bedrooms. Anyway her two friends and her slept in her room, and I was like... All alone on the couch :") lemme tell u fam. I did not feel loved that night.

[bespectacledbookworm]

[bespectacledbookworm]

Greek pantheon asks: Artemis, Hecate, and Hyperion!

Artemis: What are you hunting for in life? happiness.

Hecate: What do you think of magic? Loved it since I was a kid, not really sure it actually exists. I like to write about it.

Hyperion: Do you prefer sunrises, or sunsets? Sunsets, definitely. Not really around for sunrises.

[bespectacledbookworm]

Update she was here and the lesson took place as planned. I again almost cried. I think I'm just terrified of disappointing her... any more than I already have. :/ On an interesting note she asked me what I want to do and why I was majoring in music. I told her I want to write music.

"What for?" She asked. "Do you want to write for movies, or television, teach?"

"I want to write for myself. That's the only reason I'm doing this."

"...oh. But how are you going to support yourself? What will you do after?"

"I'm going to major in Creative writing, minor in music. "

"do you write a lot? Like are you writing right now?"

"yeah I've got some poetry and a fiction piece in the works. "

"OK! How about this: you'll write two pieces of Poetry and write some music to go along with it. We'll play it at your jury. Does that sound good?"

What.

"Okay," I said, having a minor heart attack,"that sounds interesting!"

So I'm... writing poetry. For a group of distinguished music professors who all have doctorates in music. I'm? I have a lot of emotions. How will they respond to having to put up with my poetry? Plus, I sent in my scholarship essay so if any of them read it they've basically read my deepest darkest troubles and what I've been through. I don't know. Today just reaffirmed for me that I will always love music. But writing holds the biggest place in my heart.

I’d in lucky my piano teacher thinks we have the day off and she won’t be here 😃

[bespectacledbookworm]

Oof

This post was going to be about something completely different, but in the middle of writing it out, I ... started approaching a topic that can make me feel suddenly bad. Just like... It starts near my stomach and expands to my chest, I just feel bad, man. I have no idea what this feeling is. It's not guilt or shame... Its not self hatred. No I take it back , I feel like it's close to shame but darker. Without getting too into what I consider private, It makes me hate having a physical form. Makes me feel wrong about it. I probably shouldn't be posting this here but saying it somewhere helps me explore it.

[bespectacledbookworm]

The only good thing about watching my father eat a whole lemon is thinking maybe I've inherited his power.

[bespectacledbookworm]

Today was super shitty. And weird. I haven't felt like this in a long time. Not like myself. I've been waiting all day to fall asleep again.

[bespectacledbookworm]

It was beautiful. I wish you were here, right beside me as we looked on at the blood moon. I would have taken your hand and placed my knife over your palm, slicing the flesh; your skin giving way as if this was its destiny all along. Your blood would have spilled on the sacred stones, filling the crevices of the earth as other- worldy forces deemed your sacrifice worthy, accepting it, and awakening after a thousand and one years with a desire for revenge. You would shudder as the blood left your veins, left you empty and cold, a hallowed hollow you've never known. You would cradle my face in your injured hand and we would both Know. It would have been magic.

bespectacledbookworm 

[bespectacledbookworm]

I Thought I Was Gonna Watch Mad Max Today, Not Live It.

No I'M not driving a bad ass death car through the desert with my band of badass ladies. But what I am doing is sitting in a diner with shitty air conditioning as I stuff a Burger down my hole. Here's what went down; My mom, Dad and I were on our way to see to see this car we're thinking about buying. Now I wanted to eat, cause its almost three and i havent had anything all freaking day. But moms INSISTENT on seeing this stupid car so i shut up and try to nap in the backseat. Next thing I know my moms pulling over and shouting "Open the hood, Open the hood!" So theres smoke coming out of OUR car, and when my dads done checking it out, he says the hose that holds the power steering fluid is busted, but all im hearing is "we're stuck in the middle of nowhere and were definitely not seeing Mad Max now". So Shit. So we test drive the other car, and drive to an autozone to pick up the part we need. When we get Back, I book it to our car holding a bag that definitely wasn't with us when we got in the test car, hoping to GOD that this car DUDE doesn't see me. Because then he'll see the bag, and know that we are a family who joyrides to autozones in other people's cars. So now we're sitting outside. It's hot as balls. And my Dad tells us we should walk somewhere to get out of the heat . My mother however, likes to play a game called "disregard and question everything your father says" she wins when Dad finally realizes that she has no intention of seeing his point of view and leaves. So he left, and mom sits down on the grass, seemingly content to boil In The heat, clearly the Victor. I know she secretly wants to be in a nice cool diner though, so i aks her to walk with me. "I'm going with Dad. You coming?" "No . just go without me. Bring me back a tea." "What? No! I'M not coming back, its effing hot out here! Come with me." "No." "Is like a five minute Walk" "NO. ITS HOT OUT HERE." "EXACTLY. COME WITH ME." "NO!" So you see how easily this woman is persuaded. So i then go on to shout "MOOOOM!" As obnoxiously as i can until she decides that dying on the sidewalk is better than dying to the sound of my shrieking, so she finally gets up off the grass, and walks the five minute walk to the diner. We're here. We're alive. And no one is seeing mad max tonight.

[bespectacledbookworm]

Long hair is so fun. MESSY CURLS! •﹏•

[bespectacledbookworm]

I feel cute *wink*

[bespectacledbookworm]

40's housewife style~

[bespectacledbookworm]

47 also 66

47: what is a sound you really hate?

I don't really think theres a specific sound. maybe when my mom tells me to wake up. XD

66.The emoticon that throws the sparkles~ too lazy to go copy and paste it here though