#getting to a point in this documentary where things (narratively) are starting to look better for him felt so good

[russell-crowe]

Rhod Gilbert: A Pain in the Neck for SU2C (2023)

[crossbackpoke-check]

Fixed point (mathematics) // The History of Perspective // "Point of Disappearance", Dennis Held // How the Hughes hockey family stays grounded // Fixed Point Photography-- // "Portrait of A.", Tung-Hui Hu // Mic'd Up | Hughes NHL 25 cover shoot // "Burnt Norton", T.S. Eliot // "Circuitry", Janine Joseph // Bruce Bennett // Nick Wass // from obedience [maybe one day, during a point in time], kari edwards // Bill Rapai // "Errand Upon Which We Came", Stephanie Strickland // Benchmark (surveying)

art kid luke hughes

[luchitohamilton]

lewis with moritz steidl back at the austrian gp '23, part 2 [part 1]

I don’t know whether I’d be a writer. I’ve always wondered, when I hear about writers I’m always like I’d love to know what that entails, like, I couldn’t even, I’ve seen a script, but I would have no idea where I would start with a script. I’ve written songs and that process’s been, you know, learning about the pre, the verse, the bridge and all these different things and how you narrate through that and that’s been a process of learning that so. I don’t currently have any desire to write a story. I feel more compassionate and more driven to like give people opportunities that would never normally have, an opportunity to uplift their stories, whether it’s in documentaries, whether it’s real life stories, whether it’s people from diverse backgrounds who, you know, or something that would normally not get seen and so, you know, as you go across the industries there’s little access for people with disabilities, for people from diverse backgrounds and we gotta disrupt that, not only in this sport but across the most[industries].

They posted another version of this interview and in English so, transcript below 👇

So, Lewis, first of all, thank you to be invited here in Mercedes [My pleasure.] And how is it? Finally you come to a race weekend and now this could be a really really good one.

Yeah, well, we’ve had a couple of really good race weekends, in Montreal, in Barcelona, which to be on the podium on those two, to be so close in Monaco, was a real positive for us. So, we wanna try and continue with the consistency. The team had done an amazing job to point us in a better direction.

When you enter the car, or when you also leave the car, do you or does your body gives you any other specific signs? In a good ones or some, I don’t know. [My Body?] Yeah, yeah, your body. Do you feel like… I’m 30 years old, 29 soon 30, and I remember when I was 20 everything was quite smooth and so, I’m not asking but can you imagine you as a top sportsman you can maybe, you have other signs your body sends out to you?

I think uhm, I’m 38, I think I feel stronger than I’ve ever been so, I think the thing you notice when you get older is recovery takes a little bit longer but it’s not massive. There’re so many different solutions today like cold water therapy, there’s cryotherapy, there’s all this other things to help speed up recovery and better understanding of diet so, it’s not as bad as people say it is. If you look at Tom Brady, he was 44/45 and still performing so that gives people like myself a lot more confidence.

When I get out of the car I feel generally fresh, as I’ve said, I’ve been training in a slightly different way this past year and I feel a lot stronger and more stable that I’ve ever felt in the car physically now, then the car it’s not been great to drive for the past year and a bit, but now it’s slowly starting to give us more confidence as a driver.

You know, actually, to be honest, I just wanted to ask you this question because I think it’s kind of pushed also by the media, all over the world, for example “oh, you are a 7-time world champion against now a younger man” and so on. I think it’s the narrative all the media wants to hear but it’s so untrue. I have a quote for you, Mohammed Ali once said, and I also can relate this to myself, “Just remember you don’t have to be what they want you to be”. Do you know this quote? Do you like it?

Yeah, I like that. Definitely, I mean, if you see how I’ve navigated over the time that I’ve been here in this sport. It’s been a challenge, you know, and you have of course, I’m sure, your own challenges. I think always just knowing yourself and staying true to yourself is the most important thing and not trying to change yourself to suit what other people think.

I think on the racing side of things, yeah, the narrative’s been interesting in the past year, you know, it’s a new scenario to have a new driver, George he has nothing to lose, zero, you know, so if he finished behind, they say “well, you’re driving against a 7-time world champion”, if he finishes ahead, is a win-win all the time, but for me if I finish ahead it’s kind of like “oh, well you’re 7-time world champion [so it’s expected]”, you know, and finishing behind is all doom and gloom, you know, so uhm, I just don’t read any of that stuff so I’m not like, I don’t get sucked in by the BS as you mentioned, you know, I just focus on everyday trying to be the best version, trying to work towards building the best version of myself, physically, mentally, you know, I’m trying to work on my entrepreneurial stuff, I’m trying to make sure my foundation is having true impact on people, I’m trying to make sure that when I travel around the world I’m utilizing this platform that I have, like social media, in a positive light that’s educational and it’s uplifting, and what else? I don’t know what else I can do.

You know when I have the most motivation is like when people say like “you can’t” and then, my motivation is lifted up extremely high to prove them so wrong and I think, their faces when you look at them and they are like "he's really has done it", you know what I mean?

Yeah, I love that. I have that, I can empathize with what you're saying there, my whole life also people said, "you can’t", when I was a kid people said, "you can’t", when I was at school my teachers said, "you can’t", when I said I wanted to be a Formula 1 World Champion they said, "you can’t". I’ve had team drivers and drivers, so many people, so, so many people trying to create that narrative and let that sink into your head and if you let that into your head then it can become a reality, right?, so just blocking it out, continue to believe, that's been the key and then proving people wrong, it’s the best thing ever, so I love that you’ve done that, and you’re doing that, and I think that’s part of our role, on this Earth, right, is to prove them wrong and, yeah.

I remember when I was joining this team, Niki was one of those, he said, “You can’t be doing this, you can’t be doing that” and then, you know, in one of the races he was saying to Toto “He can’t be doing this things [going to a fashion show in New York right before the Singapore GP in 2018]. There’s no way, he can't be traveling here and arriving here fully focused” and I arrived, and I did the best time in Singapore in qualifying and he was like “Ok, maybe he can” so, you know, even the young to old, you're having to prove that too.

You know like for me, you know, what comes through today like talking to you, doing an interview and a Formula 1 panel, was always my dream and I remember back in University and also back in my high school days people doing like “ah, it’s so difficult in this world” and so on, and I always think if you give up and show them that’s what they want to see and I always had the most motivation out of them.

Yeah, no, well congratulations to you.

Congratulations to you. And I have another example for you. I saw a video of you where you said that also when you got your puppy Roscoe back then you also liked the fact that people always told you…

Yeah, everyone said to me in my family “ you can’t have a dog, you’ll never be able to take care of a dog” and yeah, I just, anything anyone say I can’t do I just feel for me I have to go out and do it, I’m like “dammit, I have to go and do it now” and so, you know, look, I skydive, I surf, I try everything even if I’m not good. I’m not good at everything but I’m very very focused when I try everything that I do to try to be the best I can be.

At least try, I think, that’s the most important thing, right?

Exactly. You gotta try everything, anything and everything so, whether I’m trying instruments, I’m trying, and I’m not great at the piano but I’m trying…oh God I still dream of one day playing a lot better and one day I will be able to play really really well.

You’re a 7-time World Champion, someone who knows maybe most of the world. Do you also sometimes, at home, it's silence, you have self-doubt?

Uhm, there’s definitely…I wouldn’t be human if that, there weren´t ever. Sometimes it pops up, sometimes it's creeps op, and that´s part of my experience of growing up when, you know, with these people telling you "you can't" and then sometimes it creeps out inside that voice that comes in and says, you know, "you´re no good", " you don't look good" or "you're not this", "you're not beautiful", all these different things and I've just learned to really continue to build a positive, a strong mental approach to my days so that can penetrate me ever.

Like you block it, you’re so focused, also in a personal manner it doesn’t influence you.

Yeah, and I also don’t do things that take away my energy, I don’t put people around me that take away my energy. I surround myself with people who are like-minded, I surround myself with people who are positive and who are like also driven to, not to be, they are not negative, they are not on social media saying negative things about people, yeah.

Are there people, like when I have self-doubt when I think about things, I know certain people I want to ask, I mean, the friend and family, they tell you always the best because they want you to feel good, but there are some people around, I know, when I have self-doubt I don’t know if I can make the next step, whatever, personally or business-wise, I go to them. Do you also have those kind of people around you?

I would say if there was ever somebody it was always my dad. I mean, I went into the boxing ring and this kid beat me up in the boxing ring and I was like "I don't want to go back in. I can't do it" and my dad said "Yes, you can" and that was the first time he told me "Yes, you can", and those words are so powerful. You tell yourself that every day, then, it can liberate you, you know, so I tell myself in the morning [You can meditate] Yeah, tell myself this morning "Oh, maybe I can't do this" "Yes, you can". So, anytime those doubts come around I just I would rather just keep telling myself "Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can". If I go to the gym and I don't feel I could do the weights [I would say] "You can do it. You got this", and that's just all in the mind and my mind is so infinitely powerful, that we don’t even realize and so it's making sure we’re feeding it with the right positive information.

I also heard you’re really inspired by, or was inspired by, Kobe Bryant, you also have your own production company. Is this something you can see yourself in the future also writing narratives, writing stories?

I don’t know whether I’d be a writer. I’ve always wondered, when I hear about writers I’m always like I’d love to know what that entails, like, I couldn’t even, I’ve seen a script, but I would have no idea where I would start with a script. I’ve written songs and that process’s been, you know, learning about the pre, the verse, the bridge and all these different things and how you narrate through that and that’s been a process of learning that so.

I don’t currently have any desire to write a story. I feel more compassionate and more driven to like give people opportunities that would never normally have, an opportunity to uplift their stories, whether it’s in documentaries, whether it’s real life stories, whether it’s people from diverse backgrounds who, you know, or something that would normally not get seen and so, you know cause as you go across the industries there’s little access for people with disabilities, for people from diverse backgrounds and we gotta disrupt that, not only in this sport but across the most [industries] [Across the world of business as well] so I applaud you, because you know, you’re the first here, you know, you’re first and that’s huge and there’s people that are gonna see that and we need to make sure that we highlight that more because, you know, my brother has cerebral palsy and he’s the first in touring car that’s showing we can also do this thing.

[gqa-lite]

'Where we’re going with ‘Frozen’ did not come from me. It came from an incredible person. That’s a new piece, I’ve told no one. And I’ve been blown away by it'

and

'They told us, the day of, and a little bit about what they’re thinking. It got us very excited. Now, we have to let the wheels of Hollywood do what they do, but we were very excited with their ideas'

can we talk about what these two interviews imply? lee and lopezes know what frozen 3 plot is about and they both admit it's ~amazing~. I think it bodes very well for the movie and we're in for a one hell of a ride.

the only thing that worries me is idina's lack of any reaction. she must know the plot, I'm sure someone from disney has called her and they talked about this. yet the only thing she said when asked about frozen 3 is 'yeah I'm happy 'cause I'll be able to pay my bills'...

anyway, I'm very intriqued by this whole thing. what are these ideas that got them so excited? I must know! maybe it's about Elsa finding romance? but on the other hand I don't believe romantic sub-plot is something that would make lee's mind blow away. let alone make her greenlit the threequel.

or maybe it's about neighbouring kingdom attacking arendelle? it would be too much like frozen 2, tho.

uuuuGGGhhh I just can't stop thinking about it!

Kristen Bell also lightly announced F3 back in 2022 but said she wasn't in charge to 'officially' announce it. This tells me she had heard about it (maybe small talks or rumors...or she's directing it just saying) and that they were actually, at the very least, talking about the film since 2022.

What's interesting about the quote "It's a new piece" tells me that while Frozen and Frozen 2 are meant to be one complete story, Frozen 3 might be starting something different, and may not even be called Frozen 3. It makes sense - Frozen 2 doesn't have a special title, it's literally just Frozen part 2.

Basically, every plot point introduced and explored in the first two films could very well be finished, and now we're treading new territory with these characters. Honestly, this possibility screams for an analysis post on who the characters are now and who they'll be going forward, and what plot points we'll most likely be leaving behind (for better or for worse). Stay tuned for this on my main blog haha.

In terms of Elsa maybe finding romance - My honest opinion is that Elsa won't be getting any romance (male or female) and remain ace. However, I do think they might heavily imply a strong connection to Honey, since fans were already on board with them and they already had a fairly close scene in F2, which opens up some more narrative opportunities between them. I'm 100% certain that there will be no prince though.

Now, in terms of Idina Menzel not being enthusiastic....that's kind of her overall personality, to be honest. I don't know Idina personally of course, but from what I've seen, she's a bit on the introverted side unless she's acting or singing. If you look at her during the Making of Frozen 2 Documentary, she also seems a bit unenthusiastic. Again, I think she's just acting that way because it's her personality, not because she's not interested in the film. But that's my personal observation.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve finished the audiobook for Fern Brady’s Strong Female Character, which came out last week. Even before I’d finished it I kept starting to write posts about it, and not going anywhere, basically because I can’t think of any way to do it without doing the thing she says here she doesn’t want to do. Writing the Tumblr post equivalent of a BBC3 doc where I cry at the 45-minute mark, and I don’t want to do that. I’ve written some posts like that before and I’m sure I will again, just don’t really want to write now, also there was so much that got to me in that book that I kind of want to just keep in my own head for now.

But Jesus, it was one hell of a book. Not an easy thing to listen to, and I wish I could think of a less cliche way to say she didn’t always come out of it looking good but showing the bad stuff too was the point. Cliches I’m sure will be thrown around about this book in reviews include “brave” and “doesn’t pull punches” and things like that.

I’ve got one thing I can say, which is amazing how much more there is to a story than what can fit in a stand-up set. So many stories in there have been in her two full stand-up hours I’ve heard from her, cut up into tiny pieces while the book fleshes them out and shows us how much bigger the picture is. Her book references Hannah Gadsby, as another autistic female comedian, and it has me thinking of the message in Nanette, how much gets left out when you fit a narrative into a stand-up routine. Obviously I knew this already, mainly because that’s just how life and stories work (you tell a story in two minutes, you leave a lot out), partly because I’ve read other comedians’ memoirs before and seen the extended versions of their stand-up stories. This one just hits particularly hard, as the the things that got left out of some of Fern Brady’s stories were closer than most to the things Hannah Gadsby’s talked about leaving out, in terms of realizing even her stand-up stories that seemed dark were lightened up for a comedy set. And of course even a memoir, including this one by Fern Brady, tells a longer story than a stand-up set but leaves out a million things. 

One other really specific thing, just because it’s literally the first time I’ve ever seen anyone else express this specific thing before, it’s cool to me that I’m not the only person who worked out I was gay as a teenager, and then said, “Oh, cool, that’s the explanation for what’s wrong.” After spending a whole life feeling like I was made of completely different material from everyone else at school, looking at the girls and feeling the massive disconnect of all the things they understood and I didn’t, sometimes trying to explain this to adults or to myself and it never made sense, and then having that thing that could say “Oh, I get it, it’s just because I’m gay and they’re not so that’s why it’s different.” And then getting a little older and realizing obviously lots of girls can be gay and still have friends in middle school, maybe when desperately looking for answers I should think about the autism diagnosis that I got at fourteen and for some reason spent ten years absolutely refusing to believe was real, and not being given any help for despite a list of recommendations by that doctor I hated being clearly laid out on a piece of paper I never even saw until I went through old files in my parents’ basement at age 30.

Okay that’s the only bit I wanted to pick up on in this post, just one paragraph of the Tumblr post equivalent of a BBC3 documentary where I cry at the 45-minute mark, I don’t need to write any more paragraphs of it than that. It’s a very very good book and people should read it - or better yet, listen to it, because Fern Brady reads it very well on the audiobook and I think that added something to it. Trigger warning for fucking everything, I guess, which doesn’t mean people shouldn’t read it, just that if you’re likely to be upset by any subjects Fern Brady talks about then go into this mentally prepared for it to be upsetting (I mean, if you can read or listen to that entire book and not feel upset by any of it, then I would like to know what type of stone you’re made of). But it’s worth it.

[some-thrilling-heroics]

Sex workers are still real people no matter what you tell yourself and it's creepy as hell to take issue with that statement.

you are the one bringing up sex workers into this conversation and i don't get why. do i need to say it to make you feel better? yes sex workers are people, yes they should have rights and be respected. yes sex work should be legal and protected by the law. and so what? how does that affect the point that - in words of the op:

How you treat fictional characters, given they are entirely objects of fiction, does NOT necessarily speak to your own character, and you do not need to be "careful".

It is not dangerous to imagine dark things happening to fictional characters. It does not mean you are secretly a bad person. It does not mean you unconsciously want to hurt people in real life. It is not a "slippery slope" to doing bad things to people in real life. You cannot damage your brain or turn yourself into a bad person by consuming "dark" fanfic.

it was you who balked at people acting "as if porn = fiction". it was you who started talking about sex workers.

you know that fiction depicts a thing people did not do, right?

what if fiction can be abt things people do? what then?

fiction can be about elves and dragons, and it can be abt car thieves. or it can be abt being hot and bothered about the milk man. some of these also happen to coincide with what exists irl and i think that's where the miscommunication comes from.

you are adamant abt bringing real people into the conversation abt fiction so eh. an actor wearing a historically accurate costume or a prosthetic to make them look like an alien had to walk around on set and wave a sword around or whatever. somebody DID THAT. if that is an actor in their birthday suit in bedroom, that to me changes little. actors kiss. there are sex scenes outside of porn too and yes they were acted out by real people making noises and thrusting hips and shit - it's still not real.

The Dungeons & Dragons movie is not a documentary.

porn isn't either.

Porn features real people really doing a real thing (sex) in the real world.

beg to differ here. it's a performance. i don't assume shit abt the person im watching. they may seem excited and what not but that doesn't tell me shit what the actual person, the actor is excited by (in fact i don't want to know bc it's none of my business). that's kinda the point of acting. did you watch any interviews abt shooting sex scenes? abt shooting actual porn films? that's them putting on a performance and not how they do things irl.

if i pay a real life person to fuck me and we go to a restaurant as part of the agreed experience i am not naive enough to think they give a shit abt me. and i am fine with that. it would be shitty of me to expect anything like that from them and *then* that would be a problem.

similarly, a person putting a tiktok up of how they are so cute as they sleepily roll out of bed is not doing real things, they stage it. they put on a show. like, there is a difference? can you not see that? that is also fiction. yes we have beds and shit irl, and you and i also roll out of our beds and maybe the line is more clear when it's a story abt kings and dragons.... but it's still fiction. it's curated to appeal.

I don't think, "Ah yes, my blorbos, Jeff, Jessica and Julie, back to complete their character arcs! Excellent, I wanted closure on their narrative!" I think, "that is a man masturbating. That is an amateur couple who turned on a camera whilst banging."

i don't expect porn to have that level of depth (lol) and a lot of sfw shows and movies these days don't bother with satisfying closure to their narratives. yes i know you were absurd on purpose but like, please. nobody is arguing that.

i don't get the appeal of somebody filming themself and putting it online but to each their own *shrugs* but i refer you to the above abt staging. porn is a fantasy. whether it's a pizza delivery opening line or somebody licking toilets for clicks.

A real person putting on a performance is still a real person.

performance is fiction.

and what is this post abt again? it's abt us doing whatever we want with a fictional characters and it not reflecting who we are as people. because they are fiction.

A cartoon is not a real person.

guess what, a real person is voicing that character. now what?

to wrap this up: it says absolutely nothing abt how im going to treat real people if i enjoy gore and mutilating my blorbos until they are sobbing bloody messes. i may enjoy rape fantasies and even watch porn with that. that tells you nothing on whether or not i will say good morning to a cashier or punch a homeless person.

bringing up sex workers starts an entirely separate conversation bc as much as i would hate to hear that there were no safety measures when actors were filming a car crash scene or something else dangerous, the same way i wouldn't want the porn i happen to watch to in fact involve human trafficking victims. but i would hope we can all see how those are two very different conversations to have, right?

and just a side note:

Also, uh, what porn are you watching?

this comes off very judgy and condescending, so fuck you.

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[kanmom51]

JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years - 2017

Disclaimer:  these are my own opinions and conclusions.  Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.

This is a long one, so I will to post this in several parts (at least 4).

 2017 - Part 1

2017 is an enormous year for the couple.  This is such a significant year for the both of them.  

This is a year that both JK and JM become way bolder.  

Saying that, out of the two, it’s JK that I feel gets much more comfortable within his own skin, and feels ready to be louder.  Not only is JK making progress in coming to terms with himself, but he is ready to tell the world about it.  He is young, he is impulsive, meaning he most definitely needs reigning in by the members on several occasions.  

I think that is why, sometimes, it feels to us like he is more reserved with JM when it comes to the ‘skinship’ or closeness, because when he isn’t, he tends to go ‘too far’.  It’s sometimes easier to keep away, not touch, not react, than to touch or react and lose control in the process.  The ‘big’ or ‘loud’ moments we do get from him are mostly (GCFT not one of them) when he is acting impulsively, doing first and only then thinking it over.

Another thing we see this year is the two getting comfortable within the relationship.  By the end of the year we get to see how much more comfortable they are within themselves.  You can’t say yet that there is a calm between them, but they are getting there.  

At this point all the members of the group are aware of the relationship, and I believe that in 2017 the important surrounding staff are made aware too.  Were they outright told, or did they just ‘get it’ as the time past? Maybe both, in a way, all to be able to protect both members, and not to let things get out of control (protecting the band and the brand).  I think that the staff knowing allowed them both more freedom to be themselves, at least when off camera, without needing to hide all of the time.  

This is the year of both JM’s and JK’s love odes to each other.  

This year brought us bv2, GCFT, Serendipity, JK’s graduation and so much more.  

We still see the micro touches and brushes, but there is also a boldness, especially on JK’s part. As JK is finding his place within the relationship, asserting himself, he is also maturing, so he learns how to assert himself but also learns how to be more attentive to JM’s needs, especially his emotional needs.

JM was, and still continues to be JK’s anchor.  He is his biggest supporter, pushing him to challenge his boundaries, pushing him to the front, helping him when he is down, being there for him when he is hurt.

But JK is also there for JM. It is sometimes less noticeable, but he is the one that knows how to make him laugh, even when JM is down.  He supports him when he needs it.  He looks after him, makes sure he eats, protects him physically, when he thinks it’s needed.  

They are like magnets – constantly seeking each other’s closeness.

I know that there are many Jikook’s that believe that JK and JM’s romantic relationship started only after their end of 2017 trip to Tokyo.  I emphatically disagree.  2017 brings much development and change in their relationship, but that’s like every longer term romantic relationship.  There are shifts in the relationship.  The more the couple get to know each other, their wants and needs, they adjust themselves to that (as much as they want the relationship to continue).  That is the push and pull we see with the boys over the first 2 years .  Figuring out how they feel, what they want from each other, what they need from each other, and just how much they are willing to give the other or maybe give up of themselves.  

That’s a healthy relationship – when you manage to find that point of balance.  And that’s what the boys were doing throughout 2016 and 2017. That doesn’t mean that even after you find that point of balance there won’t be conflicts.  It does, though, enable you to come back to that balance faster, to be able to solve the conflict, because you understand each other better, and learn how to and when to give in (Summer package 2017 - the dream catcher saga).  

This brings me to the JK jealous narrative out there.  I don’t love it.  It makes JK out to be this possessive jealous boyfriend.  It’s oversimplifying and a bit juvenile.  Sorry, but that’s how I feel.  I’m not saying that JK ,or for that matter JM, didn’t ever get jealous.  They are human beings, like me and you.  Jealousy happens.  But there is a difference between getting jealous once in a while and creating this whole narrative of possessiveness jealousy, where someone is so jealous they can’t see anyone, including their closest of friends, come anywhere near your boyfriend.

Also, there could be other kinds of ‘jealousy’.   Not only seeing your significant other leaving you for someone else.  That is only one aspect of it, feeling threatened that someone you love will  be tempted to leave you for another.  But there are other aspects to jealousy too. You can be jealous of others, not a jealousy within your relationship, not a fear your significant other doesn’t love you or will leave you, but the jealousy of those others that can show affection to one another, but you can’t because of the nature of your relationship, that may have to be hidden.

There could also be frustration, not jealousy.  Frustration you need to keep hiding your relationship, when all you want to do is shout out loud to the world that JM/JK is yours.  

The fact that JK and JM’s relationship was something to be hidden, the fear of discovery (have you seen that clip when they are caught in the car ‘taking a photo for Twitter’? The panic on JK’s face? Seeing his face for me was heartbreaking) forced them to mellow down on their interactions, not to be obvious with the touchy feely between them.  

That, in my opinion, is another reason for JK’s minimalizing his skinship with JM.  Not knowing when it’s ok to touch, or just how much, or maybe the fear of going too far.  

JM had less of a problem with that.  Most of the time he was more calculated, knew exactly what he was doing, and how far he was pushing it (although, he too loses himself sometimes – Wings tour Japan documentary interviews, just for example).  

JK couldn’t do that, so sometimes the safer thing was to disconnect all together. That’s when the cameras were on, and not behind the scenes.  But not being able to show their love, having to hide, that took a toll on both of them. Seeing the person that they are building a relationship being able to be touchy with others but not with them, that hurt.  And that, in my opinion, is what we see and that is interpreted as jealousy some of the time with JK and with JM alike.    

2017 gave us plenty of content.  And just like with 2016 timeline, I just can’t address all of the content out there. I chose to refer to the content that seems most relevant to me.   No Twitter, mostly not photo shoots, even if they are the cutest.  Even if some of the moments there are spontaneous, most are directed.  The unicorn photo shoot, for example.  So beautiful, may have some spontaneous moments, but still mostly produced and directed.  Was it their own decision to pose with the unicorn? At this point in their careers, I doubt it.  It’s definitely a cute Jikook moment though.  They are beautiful, cute, have chemistry to die for, but it’s not more than that – not a JK and JM relationship moment, if you get what I’m driving at.

So, in JK’s words, let’s get it:

14 Jan 2017 Golden Disk awards – JK making his bae laugh, by imitating his own dance (Rainism) - exaggerating his own moves.  Yes Tae joins in, but JK is the one to initiate, and JM’s attention is solely on him.  He only has eyes for JK, but wasn’t that clear by now?

16 Jan 2017 ISAC 17 – I love these ones.  Just like with award shows, they have so much time to burn, that they sometimes seem to forget the cameras are there, so we get to see these little cute interactions between them, like JK finding his way to JM, wherever and whoever he may be with, little flirtatious behaviour, including JK finger hearting JM and JM doing it back to JK giggling. JM ‘flashing’ for JK .  JK holding JM’s hand, while it’s around JK’s waist, when photo taken.

19 Jan 2017 – Seoul Music Awards.  OMG, this is a big one for me.  They both look absolutely gorgeous btw.  This was one of the first clips I saw.  The way JK looks at JM, so beautiful.  But what topped the cake for me was what JK did.  JK notice JM back hugging Hobi, so he goes to Hobi, moves him aside, only then to go stand behind JM and back hug him, while gently placing his head on JM’s shoulder and closing his eyes.  

First of all, why move Hobi?  He wasn’t in the way, and it makes no sense to move him from below JM only to go behind JM and hug him from behind. Second, JK was fully aware that they were being photographed.  You can see the members around him posing for the cameras. This is where bold JK comes in. He needs JM.  JM is his safe place, his home, so who cares who can see or what they see?  He wants. No. Needs to hug him and feel him, so he will.  

When I saw JK close his eyes, I wanted to cry. I’m not exaggerating. It was so beautiful, so pure.  When I saw this, I knew.  I knew this was ‘something else’, something special.  

26 Jan 2017 – Global Vlive top 10 BTS – JK asserting his place by JM’s side.  Making sure JM doesn’t fall off the stool, but also pushing Jin back away from JM – that’s JK’s place not Jin’s.  We also get to see, again, the hesitation when touching JM, placing his hand at his lower back, only to pull back hesitantly.  We get the mutual glances, and them being in their own world.  At some point RM having to whack them out of it.

7 Feb 2017 – JK’s graduation day.  Big big day. Starting with JK making sure it’s JM standing by his side for the group photo.  In the car , on the way to their celebratory dinner,  JK singing a suggestive song while looking at JM – serenading him in a way.  Then JM asks JK what he wants for a graduation present, V telling JK that JM will buy him whatever he wants, and JK asking for an apartment (something that withing cultural context is a big thing).  The whole time there’s a flirty vibe between the two, V being the 3rd wheeler in the conversation.  

At the restaurant the boys recreate their photo from JK’s 1st day at high school too (of course it’s the two of them centrefold).

Then, to top the cake, there’s JM’s tweet.  The camera is on JM, and we hear what sounds like a kiss in the background bringing a big smile to JM’s face, and then what sounds like “My Mo, my mochi…”.  Then JM says congratulations and turns the camera sideways, only to see JK sitting there, and to JK’s smile and clapping.  V is in the back seat playing with his phone.  

Did JK send JM a kiss?  Did he call him his Mochi? .  Idk. 

It wouldn’t be the first or last time JK referred to JM as a Mochi.  

What I am sure of is that it had nothing to do with V. He was sitting in the back playing with his phone, totally ignoring or unaware of what was going on there.

To be continued...

[agentnico]

Last Night In Soho (2021) Review

It seems that with this and Dune I really am challenging the critical status quo this year. I’m very much in the minority on my views with these two films. 

Plot: An aspiring fashion designer is mysteriously able to enter the 1960s, where she encounters a dazzling wannabe singer. However, the glamour is not all it appears to be, and the dreams of the past start to crack and splinter into something far darker.

Edgar Wright as a filmmaker always leaned primarily towards the comedy genre. Whether its the projects he collaborated with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost on or his bigger scale Hollywood projects such as Scott Pilgrim vs. the World or Baby Driver, they all had that sense of whimsy and sarcasm to them all. Heck, even his documentary this year about the Sparks band was filled to the brim with jokes. So Last Night In Soho is definitely a step in a different direction for Edgar Wright, and it is nice to see him finally be willing to experiment more and try out things outside his comfort zone. Gone is the humour and instead we have this visually rich creepy horror tale that jumps from modern day to the 1960s, and the result may be questionable, but I certainly admire Wright for his efforts to try something different. And yes, from that sentence and tone I think you may gather that I didn’t really like Last Night In Soho that much. And you would be right!!

The primary issue with Last Night In Soho in my humble opinion but an opinion I choose to post online for the world to see is that I feel like this film tries to take on too much all at once. What’s more it is evident Edgar Wright is a filmmaker but also a massive film buff himself, as you can see how much inspiration he’s taken from other movies to create this motion picture. Visually you can see Nicolas Winging Refn’s neon visuals all over this thing, and the gothic gory side of things is very Italian horror in nature with the prime example being Dario Argento movies, with the crazy amounts of fake looking paint blood and creepy ghosts, and then there is the central mystery that is very Agatha Christie in style that I was half expecting Hercules Poirot to walk on screen and be like “Piss off ghosts, there’s been a murder here and I am the only one to solve this as I am the greatest detective in the world!!”. Okay, I feel like a bit of Korg slipped into that line but hey, if Taika Waititi ever decides to take on Hercules Poirot as a role I would be open to it, for better or worse, just saying. Anyway, it’s all these different styles thrown into this one movie, and the result is really messy. It tries to do so much all at once, however if you look at the narrative, the main plot-line is actually overly simplistic, however Wright’s style unnecessarily overcomplicates it. In fact, I was really enjoying this movie up to the halfway point, but then it decides to go bonkers and throw a bunch of crazy nonsense at you and at that point it lost me. For one, you get introduced to these ghosts who are supposed to scary you, however every time they appeared I found myself wanting to laugh as they would all trot along together like a bunch of Minecraft characters and act all creepy, but it just came off weird and ridiculous more than anything else. I get what Edgar Wright was going for, as I remember him mentioning in an interview that he was inspired by Nicolas Roeg’s psychological horror film Don’t Look Now where in that movie too things start out pretty calm and civil, but then at the end things naturally go AWOL and nuts (damn that red hood!!), however in that film that transition seemed to go more seamlessly. In Last Night In Soho it feels really messy and disorganised. This movie should have either leaned more fully into it’s traditional horror elements or have been more of a straightforward mystery with flashbacks. Not try and do both those very different genres together in this way.

There’s still elements I enjoyed here. The 1960s sequences for the most part looked very dazzling and stellar with the fitting costumes of the time and the streets of London being lit up with the 60′s night lights and shiny old school cars driving past. The glamour was indeed present as they say. The cast performances too were solid for the most part. Thomasin McKenzie is our main character in modern day and we see the events transpire from her perspective, and at first she annoyed me a little, not sure if it was due to her delivery of lines or her facial expressions, but eventually I did warm up to her. Anya Taylor-Joy also appears but primarily in flashbacks, so unlike the trailers and marketing may make it seem she is not the main character and isn’t in the movie that much, but for the time she’s in she does well and can apparently sing so that should be news to everyone. Where both McKenzie and Taylor-Joy get there chance to stand out is in the first dream sequence where McKenzie first enters the 60′s through Taylor-Joy’s character’s body, and Wright shows off his main technical gimmick for this movie in that whenever Taylor-Joy passes, looks into or stands next to a mirror we see McKenzie in the reflection mimicking all her actions, and it was actually impressive seeing how in-sync they were. There’s also a Matt Smith being evil and doing evil things, and look, his demeanour fits a villainous role so it works. I don’t know why, but when I see Matt Smith’s face I always wonder if he may be a bit of a prick, hence why evil characters seem to bode well for him. Terence Stamp appears and is appropriately creepy and unsettling, and Diana Rigg appears posthumously in her final role as the landlord of McKenzie’s character and she did her part well but I felt really bad when the end credits rolled, as throughout the movie I kept thinking she was the “hag” from Hot Fuzz. Point to note, she’s is not.

Cast performances and 60′s costumers aside, I can’t say I bought into Last Night In Soho. It was too many ideas and styles thrown into one. It’s as if Edgar Wright wanted to break out of his comfort zone, but in doing so tried to take on everything all at once. You can tell that in this movie’s narrative as things are set up but aren’t paid off. For example, in the beginning when McKenzie’s character arrives in her new university halls, she has to deal with this group of “mean girls” which their leader evil-Rachel-McAdams-type being set up as someone who’d constantly be getting in her way. But no, there’s a bit of bickering and then that character is completely forgotten about until the very end of the movie where she appears again to give McKenzie the ol’ side-eye treatment. There’s a few of these story choices that are left undealt with, which the more signified how this movie doesn’t know what it wants to be. Regardless as I said I admire Wright for trying something new and as always I look forward to seeing what he cooks up next.

Overall score: 5/10

[thereallivingded]

Cineris Somnia

So this past week I started playing Cineris Somnia. For being released in 2018 it has some of the clunkiest mechanics I've seen in a long time. I felt very reminisced of Silent Hill 1&2 while trying to navigate the paths and buildings in the game. It's frustrating but nostalgic at the same time. Which is a little mental. But the game itself is just that as well. Mental.

So far, I'm following what looks like two separate narratives. The only cohesive thread seems to surround a brother and sister relationship. The brother somehow falls ill, resulting in the sister receiving less attention from the pair's parents. We appear to be picking up the pieces of this scattered narrative through bizarre dreamlike sequences.

I wish I had gotten farther in the game this week. I've been distracted by things in real life and not other games. Shocking. I know.

I became incredibly sick last weekend. I somehow got a severe case of food poisoning or a viral stomach bug. I'm leaning toward the latter. I was vomiting and having diarrhea simultaneously for six hours. 2AM-8AM. Once the hell of it was over (I stopped counting after the sixth time), I managed to snag about 4-5 hours of sleep. When I woke up I didn't feel much better, and started to run a hundred degree fever. At that point I had my husband take me to an emergent care where I received an IV, 2 liters of fluid, 2 doses of zofran and pepcid. After some labs it was determined my potassium was incredibly low from all the vomiting. They made me take some of that too. It was disgusting. Like cherry flavored chalk water. I almost threw up again from it. After that, I was released and convalesced in bed for two days. I was placed on a BRAT diet. Bread, rice, applesauce, toast. Those were really the only solids I could have. The rest was broth, jello, water, ginger ale. I'm finally back on solid food and feeling more like myself seven days later.

Sadly, gaming was the last thing on my mind. I did watch a lot of true crime documentaries while I lay in bed, sipping my ginger ale.

Should be getting back to gaming this week. /fingerscrossed

Although I did just spend 2 hours of my free time tonight cooking, cleaning my kitchen, and clearing out my fridge.

As usual, distractions abound.

[strideofpride]

But to get into the GG of it all specifically...I’ve finally started reading sudsnewsletter’s analyses in full (like, I read your post digests but now I’m reading the whole things and OMG they’re so good), and anyway, she makes this point in her Jenny essay, about GG falling into and perpetuating the fixation on sexual purity that was so prevalent in the 00s. Maybe it still is? Idk I’m not a teenager anymore (thank fuck), and I don’t really pay attention (thank fuck) (1/6)

I mean, one of the most definitive pieces of media from the era was created by a Mormon housewife who wrote 3 novels full of repressed judgement before marrying off her 18-yr-old heroine so that she could finally have sex! Gossip Girl really is such a time capsule of a show, in so many respects, and especially how it acted surrounding all of this. So, taking what I know about living through the 00’s, and what I know about GG, and Chrisinda’s absolutely god tier analysis…(2/6)

I think the fixation on sexual purity has a lot to do with how the GG writers/production behaved in regards to its cast members’ relationships, almost as if the real-life relationships gave more validity to the relationships that appear onscreen? Like, it’s okay to yank Serena & Dan around by the collar in their relationships, because look! And, in the case where the relationship came first, it’s almost the inverse, like GG was giving its benevolent blessing which is just *shudders* (3/6)

It’s like they had to keep the story and the behind-the-scenes parallel to create an appearance of monogamy? If that makes sense? Like, all the promiscuity and scandal on the show is justified or absolved if they brought it back to this, to the beginning, which ties into Dan being fated for Serena and Blair being fated for chip, bc hey, that’s who they made their debut with. Which, the show's fiction on virginity just makes me want to punch a wall. (4/6)

And of course, we can’t separate this from the fact that it’s really only the sexual purity of the women characters that GG is interested in perpetuating, or preserving, or punishing for the loss of it. Lively I think is the one you quote most, and for Serena, they seemed to do all three. Gossip Girl is not a documentary, nor an instructional text, it’s fiction, and that’s all it should be.(5/6)

This compulsion though, that the story that plays out on the screen also has to play out in reality is a juvenile one, and the fact that the production team of people in their 30s and 40s pushed this to hold the interest of their teen audience who didn’t know better onto their cast of 20-something emerging artists who didn’t have the power to demand better, is pretty gross. And letting this PR fixation lead the story rather than the characters…*whispers*~it’s bad writing~ (6/6)

(Full disclosure, I did not catch the Twilight reference the first time I read these lmao)

And yeah! Very interesting to tie the purity culture present in the show to the BTS relationships, I never thought of it that way, but that's certainly an interesting perspective. And yes, re: derena and chair, I definitely think that was the narrative, particularly with chair, although even when Dan is single and sleeping around in season 6, one could argue that the show is judging him for that/connecting it to him being morally bankrupt now.

And yeah, the reason I keep quoting Blake is because she is by far the most willing to be interviewed in that Vanity Fair article, and I do wonder if it's because at that time of that article (2017) she was the one who had most broken away from her character, and therefore she didn't have to worry about still being overly connected to Gossip Girl like the rest of them.

Like it must be so frustrating for the cast (now all in their mid-30s) to never put behind these roles you got when you were 20. People referring to Joe Goldberg as Dan Humphrey gone off the deep end, Chace being on SNL and still being identified as being from Gossip Girl instead of the show he's currently on (and yeah it was a joke, but the best jokes are always based in truth as they say), when Ed made his tiktok (which...don't even get me started on the gross fan reaction to a man who has been accused of SA by multiple women in real life) and everybody was commenting "Where's Leighton? She needs to duet!"....

And I know that's just part of the game of being on a popular show, especially a popular teen drama, this phenomenon is not unique to Gossip Girl. And I know people take this attitude of "how dare [x] actor be ungrateful for the role that launched their career!" and yeah I get that, but also it can't feel good to be pigeon-holed like that for the rest of your life either and that's certainly something worth thinking about from the actor's perspective. Idk.

But anyway, re: your last point, there is no reason they had to run their show the way they did. There are hundreds of successful TV shows that did just fine without capitalizing off the stars' personal lives (and even when the stars' personal lives became just as big as the show, i.e. Friends, the push came from the media, not the show's producers themselves?? Like wtf. Can you imagine if your boss (cause that's what a showrunner is, your boss) was exploiting your personal life like that? That's what we're talking about here). Gossip Girl didn't have to be like that. That was a choice made by the show's producers, and a very toxic one at that.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Goodbye Bruce Lee: His Last Game of Death (Lin, 1975)

I've been sleeping rather poorly over the last week or so. There is construction happening in my neighbourhood, and some genius decided it would be great for everyone if said construction was done overnight in this quiet residential area. So for the last few nights, I've been waking up at 4:00 AM to what sounds like an unholy mixture of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and an industrial record. This morning, with a few hours to go until I started work, I decided to pick an unchallenging movie to veg out to before the coffee kicked in and I had to fire up the work computer. And what better choice than a Bruceploitation movie, a genre whose entries feel like dreams you fade into and out of during a sleep deprived viewing of an actual Bruce Lee vehicle?

Goodbye Bruce Lee: His Last Game of Death is the earliest Bruceploitation movie I've seen (not counting Bruce Lee: The Man and the Legend, the documentary Golden Harvest rushed out after his death), and I assume at this point the genre itself held enough novelty that the movies didn't put much work into distinguishing themselves. This one stars Bruce Li, who the movie introduces as an actor picked to replace Lee and finish his last movie, and then we segue into that film, a generic crime plot where Li plays Lee. This is a less than elegant way to lampshade the genre and gaslight the audience. What are you talking about, bro? Of course that's the real Bruce Lee, get your eyes checked. At this point I should credit the film for at least not wheeling out the funeral footage that these movies are normally eager to serve up.

And that kind of gets at the problem with this movie. There's nothing especially wrong or offensive about it, but there's also little personality here. I've enjoyed Li's performances in The Chinese Stuntman and Soul Brothers of Kung Fu, where he had relatively distinct characters to play and seemed to put a bit of himself into his roles. And in Ng See-Yuen's biopic Bruce Lee: The Man, the Myth, he delivered a relatively forceful Bruce Lee impression. Here, he just comes across like a watered down copy, and there's never a moment when we don't actively wish we were watching the real Lee. Even during the relatively competent fight scenes, the choreography apes the real Lee's fighting style, but carries none of the philosophy, narrative intelligence or magnetism that the real Lee brought to his work. It feels a little weird to single this movie out in this respect, but with the genre's sometimes trashy charms largely absent here, there isn't much to chew on.

The one great thing about this movie is the much funkier than necessary theme song, "King of Kung Fu" by Kandy, where a frog-voiced singer waxes rhapsodic about Bruce Lee's martial arts prowess. (I looked up the artist and found they only had a handful of other songs, none of which I'm guessing had the success of "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas. We can't all be winners, I guess.) This song is replayed multiple times over the course of the movie, doing the heavy lifting to keep things engaging during the numerous, numerous stretches of dead air. (The copy I watched was a relatively nice looking transfer on the Wu Tang Collection YouTube channel, which periodically dropped audio in different parts of the movie, likely because the soundtrack originally "borrowed" the work of Pink Floyd and scores from the James Bond series. I don't think I missed much, but figure I should disclose this.)

Given the title, it's no surprise that it contains a ripoff of the pagoda fight, although this was released before its better known namesake and the version here looks a lot brighter and cheaper than Lee's original footage. This has a greater variety of foes, which provides some novelty, but like I mentioned above, the action direction here lacks any real point of distinction. The best confrontation is between Li and a samurai, who Li defeats using a technique reminiscent of that move in Dragon Ball Z where the characters move so fast they appear to be teleporting. There's also a fight with a boxer resembling Muhammad Ali, which provides that downmarket ambience inherent in Bruceploitation where you feel like you've stumbled onto a late entry in a franchise or a TV adaptation of a movie where all of your favourite stars have been replaced by inferior actors who kind of look like them and the production values have plummeted. (An earlier fight with a basketball player arguably adds to this vibe as well, although that character doesn't really resemble the one Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played.) I should also note that the premise of this scene doesn't really make sense here, as the bad guys give Li an ultimatum that either he fights these guys or they'll throw his girlfriend off the top of the pagoda, with no real gain for them if Li opts for the fights, but I suppose I should be happy to see some punching and kicking.

So this is definitely skippable, but not too painful if you choose to watch.

[alexalbonbon]

Drive to Survive is less documentary and more Keeping Up With The Formula 1 Drivers. And that needs to change

When Netflix first announced Drive To Survive in March 2018, the show was promoted as an “attempt to immerse the audience inside the cockpits, the paddock, and the lives of the key players in Formula 1 racing. The series will have exclusive access to the world’s fastest drivers, team principals and owners, as well as Formula 1’s own management team.”

The announcement was a clear statement from new owners Liberty Media: attract new fans to Formula 1. And what better way to do this than by collaborating with the biggest streaming platform in the world? Drive To Survive was supposed to become a 10-episode documentary series for both new and established Formula 1 fans and would cover the 2018 season.

The show did a decent job in its first season, it did give a fresh look behind the scenes of the sport, with some drivers also allowing the camera crews in their personal lives. It introduced us to (most of) the teams, drivers, and team principals and gave an insight into the traveling, multi million dollar circus that is Formula 1.

But how are you going to cover a racing championship if you’re not allowed access to the two major teams fighting for that championship? You can’t, and the producers decided to take a page out of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians manual and thought it would be fun to give a show that was supposed to be a documentary show about the pinnacle of motorsport a reality series makeover in post production instead.

While we did see some of Daniel Ricciardo’s family and life off-track, this was completely overshadowed by the producers’ excessive need to dramatize his inter-team rivalry with then-teammate Max Verstappen. Any person who followed Formula 1 and especially Red Bull at the time knew that, although Daniel indeed was struggling with his position within the team, the two were not the enemies the show makes them out to be and are actually good friends. And rather than learn from the first season and the feedback given by both fans and drivers, the producers decided to up the drama even more for the next two seasons. Meanwhile, all of us are sitting here wondering why. If you spend some time following the sport, there’s plenty of drama already.

Going forward with seasons two and three, it was apparently decided that the show needed more of a Hollywood feeling and plenty of episodes were given the hero versus villain treatment. This reached its peak in the Red Bull focused episodes in both seasons two and three. Take the difficult (to say the least) work environment of the “big” team, mix it with some weird crap said by Christian Horner and top it off with the commentary by Will Buxton literally nobody asked for and you have yourself a Pierre Gasly versus Alex Albon rivalry. Where in season two Gasly was portrayed as the person keeping Red Bull back in the World Championship and Albon came in to save the day, season three decided to reverse Uno that narrative and made Albon (one of the only three people of color on the grid) the one in this role, while Gasly thrives at AlphaTauri. Albon is made look weak, stupid and slow. All things people who have looked beyond his Red Bull stint know are not true. Not once is it suggested that Albon was put under immense pressure by being moved to the “big team” in what was only his first season of Formula 1. Nor would Horner ever take responsibility for the clear favouritism shown to Verstappen.

And then there is what might be the biggest crime in the entire show: the lack of presence of record race winner, seven-time World Champion Lewis Hamilton in season three. There are no good words for whoever was in charge of production and decided that this man, one of the greatest, if not the greatest, Formula 1 drivers of all time, was not worthy of an entire episode dedicated to his story, his racecraft, and his activism. The only black driver on the grid, Drive To Survive gave him five minutes at the end of the very last episode to touch on the Black Lives Matter movement Hamilton has been a vocal supporter of for years. His record equalling 91st win at the Eifel Grand Prix was briefly touched upon, but his record equalling seventh World Championship in Turkey was apparently too much of an effort to include. It only enhances the fact that the We Race As One campaign Formula One Management ran last year was nothing more than a PR stunt. It is time to take Lewis Hamilton seriously, he has a platform and he wants to use it and Netflix not giving him that opportunity is shameful. Yes, a big part of the demographic of Formula 1 consists of straight, white men who absolutely refuse to look at the world outside of their bubble. But Netflix promotes inclusivity, so why should this show be any different? It is a Netflix original show, which gives them no way to point at anyone else being the final part of production responsible. By showing the (graphic) clip of George Floyd’s death and letting Hamilton say three sentences about the BLM movement, you’re not promoting the inclusivity the streaming service wants to stand for. Formula 1, Netflix, and Box To Box Productions all need to do better, and they need to start doing better now.

So how does the show move forward? Let’s start by throwing out the terrible “scripts”, including those terrible one-liners Lance Stroll throws out in the first couple of season three episodes (I like Lance, but this made me cringe so hard, my eye is still twitching). Several drivers, including Max Verstappen, and more recently George Russell have spoken out against the framing the show chooses. This should be a clear sign that things need to change, especially if one of the drivers above called the show “cringey” in front of the Netflix cameras. Is there absolutely nobody in the producing team who has any real knowledge of the sport and the regulations itself? We need less Christian Horner, less Will Buxton and less forced drama and rivalry. If you put twenty men who get paid hundreds of thousands of euros in a paddock and drive around the fastest cars in the world for a living, the drama will write itself. 

Formula 1 loves reminding people that it’s the “pinnacle of motorsport”, so why not show that? Why not show that the world of Formula 1 has some of the brightest minds out there that came together in the fight against COVID-19 in Project Pitlane? Or how they were one of the first major sports that returned to their competition, setting up a huge logistical challenge and managing to create a calendar with seventeen races in twelve different countries, while keeping COVID infections to a relative low? But they also should focus on the parts the teams may not always want to show. Why does Red Bull seem to have a curse on that second seat? Why does Haas have to take on a driver who didn’t manage to finish in the top 3 of the Formula 2 championship, while the vice-champion was left without a seat? Why did we have to say goodbye to the Williams family and why weren’t they given a proper sendoff in the show? Especially with Williams having the only female team principal in the paddock. And why aren’t we shining a light on what’s important: a black man standing alone in his fight for equality.

Drive to Survive should give us what it promised: an exclusive behind the scenes look of one of the most exciting sports out there. The drama will write itself, we just want the good, the bad, and the ugly. And these are things the Netflix crew can achieve, even with the current COVID restrictions still in place in the paddock.

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

🙂 - ɟ

Hiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 Here’s another post with the answers to the asks Mari sent me. Enjoy 🙃

 Hi @sawwyouuinadream 👋🏼😄 I’ve already talked about how C exaggerated for the sake of the songs in my ‘💭- ɟ’ post (8th question) [click on the #f anon of this post to see all my others]. As for the rest, you need to understand the difference between our normal life and theirs, especially when they were in the group. You can’t compare your life and what you would do with your girlfriend in their place simply because they’re completely different things. Any parent of famous artists who gets the chance to spend time with their child when they can, seizes the opportunity. I saw it with 5H, I saw it and keep seeing it with Ari, I saw it in Taylor’s documentary, and many others. But not all artists have this luck.

5H were far from home, always around the world, without parents most of the time, and with fans who recognized them. Unlike the other parents who didn’t always have the opportunity to be with them because of work, the most present were Sinu, papa H (Jerry, Ally’s dad), and mama Dre (Andrea, Normani’s mom; as much as Sinu and continued as Sinu even after the hiatus). The only difference is that Camila suffers from depression and variants of OCD (diagnosed in 2015) and for these reasons, Sinu has always tried to be as present as possible. She only became a regular presence after C’s explosion in early September 2016. And, honestly? I don’t know where Camila would be without her mom. I don’t think she could have gotten through most of the things. I don’t think she would be in the industry anymore.

Now, I’d like to remind you of something else: we only see 5/10% of their lives. And that 5/10%, is ONLY what they want to show. You said that Sinu always accompanied C on dates? That’s not true. We saw Sinu with them a couple of times when they went shopping, once for dinner at Katsuya’s, and once at the beach in Australia. And these are literally only five times in what, four years that C was in 5H? Do you really think those were their only dates? Or that those can even be called dates and not just spending time with the mother-in-law? Come on. Try to look at it differently. Try to look at it from a broader perspective. Try to look at the big picture.

I send you a hug 🤗

 No, dear Anon. Lauren was together with Camila. That whole conversation was based on Camila teasing Lauren. That episode was another confirmation for me regarding their first kiss. Lauren answering “Kind of” because Camila literally nearly passed out from nervousness is one of the things that amuses me the most.

Oh and, dear Anon? Bread Simplified, aka I don’t know what lips are, was just another one of her PRs. I don’t know how this is still something to doubt about. 75/80% of all Hollywood couples are fake, and as I said earlier, we only see 5/10% of what they want to show us about their lives. I’ve said this before and will write it again: “Any PR relationship involving Camren is simply this: fake, and for publicity and narrative purposes”. Real relationships, dear Anon, are not public ones. They’re the ones we don’t see.

 I’m still a little bit confused about your ask actually if I have to be honest, dear Anon. I’ll answer based on what I understood.

None of the five of them are with Syco Music anymore because it has integrated with Sony Music Entertainment and therefore doesn’t exist anymore.

Only Camila and Lauren are with Syco Entertainment simply because only the two of them were asked to sign. Simon never cared about the group per se. He wanted Lauren and Camila from the start and he got them. He created an opportunity to prepare them for that world and for their eventual solo careers. How? By creating 5H. By creating three products (C, L, and 5H) at once that would make him money.

 Because, dear Anon, as twisted as it sounds, it’s part of their publicity. I’ll explain myself better. Camren sells. From the beginning. A large part of the 5H fans became their fans BECAUSE of Camren. The labels still use them when needed. For labels, it’s okay to get people talking. It’s okay to get them to speculate, take their name out there, create buzz, create gossip, everything’s okay, EXCEPT confirming it. The important thing is the publicity. The important thing is to sell what they want to sell, and many times, they use Camren to do it. And it works. It works EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Plus, I think both C&L also had fun doing it to “keep the boat afloat”. More in the past than now tho.

I know about the rest of the pictures because it was said a while back by a guy who said he was yet another ‘insider’, dear Anon. This guy even published an email that was supposed to be from 2017 from TMZ to Roger in which they were supposed to have a meeting to discuss the extension of the agreement made not to publish the dossier. It’s actually old news, and it indeed seems strange to me that you’re only finding out now 🙃 Has anyone ever talked about it here on Tumblr?

But anyway. That he was an insider, I have my serious doubts. That the email picture was specially created, perhaps by him himself, I’m sure of it because it looks more fake than a plastic flower. That TMZ actually has a dossier on them, is very likely because this is another one of the many ways paparazzi agencies make money.

Dear Anon, I guess this ask of yours is due to your reading of my last post. If you’ve read it, then you have also read the sentence that I will now copy: “Everyone’s ready to point the finger when they don’t even know what is really going on behind the scenes”. You’re doing the same thing. You’re doing the same thing because all I see here is Roger did this and Roger did that, but you don’t know that. You don’t know why he did certain things. You don’t know why he didn’t do certain things. You don’t know why he handled some things in one way and some things in another. You know nothing, yet you’re pointing the finger.

I understand that you’re speaking based on what you see, believe me, I understand, but you’re judging without knowing. We know this PR is for Skittles, so what do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to promote him more? What do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to do or not do certain things? And more importantly, what do you know that Roger no longer has Camila’s best interests at heart? Just because of this show? Come on!

I’ll try to be clearer this time because I’ve noticed that many, like you, didn’t get the big picture of my last post. The labels decide everything. Camila can choose certain things, propose ideas, and be more liberally creative, but she doesn’t have the last word. If Camila comes up with the idea for a video she wants to make, but the labels don’t like it, then she can’t make that video. If Camila wants to perform a song in a certain way, but the labels don’t approve of a thing, then Camila has to change that thing in order to perform it. If the labels say no, then it’s no. Periodt.

Camila accepted the PR. COVID has changed things. She couldn’t expect such a thing. Hell, none of us could have expected a worldwide pandemic. But things turned out this way, and now she’s miserable. The choice she had initially made has backfired on her, and there’s nothing she can do to change that because it’s a legally binding contract. Neither she nor Roger, whom I remind you is also an attorney, can do anything about it.

I made this little scene for you. I hope that with this, you’ll see things a little more clearly.

*During the meeting*

“And that’s the idea” Roger says as Simon continues to look at the various set designs and documents by nodding

“So.. what do you think?” Camila asks anxiously and with a small hopeful smile

“I think we only need to change a couple of things, but for the rest, everything’s fine” Simon replies

“Really?” Camila asks excitedly

“Yes, really” Simon replies with a chuckle due to her enthusiasm “Good job, Camilla”

“Yay!” Camila cheers towards Roger. She’s too happy to care about the cringe due to the mispronunciation of her name. She’s used to hearing him call her that for years now.

“What are the changes you were referring to?” Roger asks him

“Oh, you know, this and this” Simon replies, turning the set designs towards them “It’s a little too…”   “Gay?” Camila asks with a laugh, finishing his sentence

“We knew, but she wanted to try anyway” Roger says, indicating Camila with his palm “So, by changing those two things, we’re ready to go? We’re gonna shoot the video in a week”

“Yes, I approve. Everything’s all right” Simon says, handing the set designs back

“Thanks, Simon” Camila says, getting up together with Roger ready to leave the room

“Oh and, Camilla? Remember what we talked about” Simon tells her as soon as she gets to the door

“But-”   “Remember what we agreed on” Simon says, interrupting her

With a sigh, Camila nods and turns to look at Roger who smiles at her sympathetically. With another sigh, this time of acceptance and determination, Camila positions herself behind Roger, who’s bending his knees to get down and is bringing his torso forward.

“Um.. what exactly are you two doing?” Simon asks, confused and curious at the same time

“When you tell me to jump, I ask you ‘how high?’, right?” Camila answers him as she climbs on Roger’s back

Simon nods with an even more puzzled expression.

“I’m helping her jump from higher” Roger explains to him

*the end*

This is just a silly example, but I hope it helped you understand the dynamics better. I also copied and pasted another piece of my previous post as a reminder: “If Roger does certain things that you may not like at first glance, before accusing him, please wait. Wait till you see why he’s doing what he’s doing, and then if you really don’t like it, then point the finger. But if you have to do it for no good reason, then don’t. You’d only going to look worse after. Same thing for Camila. They have a reason for doing what they do, so just wait before speaking and judging.”

Have a great day too, dear 😊

 I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis, dear Anon, but you asked for it, so here it is.

I’d like to start by saying that Thinkin’ Bout One is a half-demo. It’s not a completed song and it’s from ‘The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving.’ era, so even before the album title changed to ‘Camila’. I’m talking about the very beginning. When Havana wasn’t even remotely ready to be complete, or recorded if that’s why. When I Have Questions had just been recorded or was about to be recorded. I’m talking about the end of 2016.

The demo is pretty messed up because there is no intro, verses, pre-chorus, chorus, etc., like in a normal song. The quality and the way the demo is structured reminds me a lot of the GarageBand Camila times. To be honest, I think that’s how it was recorded. I think Camila created the demo on her own and then she abandoned it once she started recording other songs that would adapt and fit in the true direction of the album.

The reason I said I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis is because this song, it’s not about Lauren. I have reason to think this song is for someone else, but without dwelling on that, I’ll explain why in my opinion it’s not about Lauren through my interpretation.

“Where you at

Come baby show me where you at

Finally got time off work

Tryina disappear off the map with ya

What’s love gotta do with it

This my vacation time

Bathin suits and tan line

Thirst trap for your timeline”

Camila is asking this somebody where they are. Camila was still working with Lauren in 2016. She knew where Lauren was because she was with her, this somebody wasn’t. She’s asking them to meet and spend those days she had free together. She’s asking them to go together to a place where they could be off the radar. A place with a warm climate. And she’s not asking them to see it as a romantic getaway, but just as a vacation. Love was the last of her thoughts given what she was going through with Lauren that year.

“Num num num num num

Pass the henny not the rum

I go num num num num num

If I decide to give you sum

Talkin talkin talkin

All this time that we been rockin

Hey”

“Sip a lil this

Sip a little that

Now this ain’t nothin but a fact

I need you come and take control”

This vacation that Camila proposes also included alcohol and other activities, if you know what I mean. I’ll explain the slang she uses here to indicate those two very things.

In case you didn’t know, num is the slang for making out. Henny is the slang for Hennessy, which is a brand of cognac. It’s used a lot together with coke for a simple two-ingredient cocktail, and indeed, Camila specifies that she prefers henny over rum (rum and coke) in her simple two-ingredient cocktail. Sum is the slang for some. Now that you know, I believe you can put the pieces together and better understand the puns she used here.

And that’s all. There’s nothing about Lauren for me. There’s nothing deep about it. Just another distraction. And for me, for my timeline, this event happened during the 7/27 tour break. The break that lasted from July 6 to 26 before starting the North American part.

Hello to you too dear Anon 😄 No, I personally don’t think those scenes represent her experiences exactly as they happened. I think she and Dave (Meyers) represented her experience in a cinematic and straight way, but with symbols that represented Lauren.

For example, the fact that Dylan plays the piano is to represent an artist, aka music, aka Lauren. The flower on the back of his shirt in the kiss scene: Lauren. The book’s scene you mentioned? The scene is represented in winter with snow, yet in her memory, they’re both represented dressed in a light way, aka ‘In Miami, where winters are hot’ (Sangria Wine’s verse 2) [or even in L.A. since the winter climate is much more similar to the spring one]. They both like to read, so the book was a perfect clue. Alcohol and fights were represented in a much stronger way than I think they happened in reality because we all know that Lauren is not a violent person. The moon? There’s not even the need to explain it. Oh and, the fact that she’s holding hands with herself at the end of the video is also a representation of what we saw in the Havana music video. The “I do love you. But I love me more” that we saw there. With that scene at the end of the Consequences music video, Camila shows us that she has finally managed to love herself.

So dear Anon, to me, that video is just an artistic representation of how things went. And thanks. I hadn’t watched that video in a long time, but I went to re-watch it for you, so thank you, dear 🥰

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I’m done 😄 I hope I was helpful in this case too. As always, I’m available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊 Thanks once again to you for asking me and Mari for making this exchange possible 😍

As usual, remember to be kind, to others and to yourself. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. I send you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

___

This was awesome, thanks again F. BTW, the marks on the asks is a small detail I couldn’t erase but you can read them anyway, so sorry bout that.

[onisiondrama]

Onision on Kermit and Friends - March 21, 2021

(This video only has 59 views on Youtube. This is probably the smallest audience I've seen for an Onision interview.)

Summary Part 1

The host seems to be a fan of Onision and the co-host says she saw the documentary so she is well aware of Onision, but the show is a safe space and they don't judge.

Host says her and Andy talked about The Banana Song all night.

Host really like that Onision said not to focus at negativity. Says he only focuses on positivity and he's an amazing guy.

The co-host jokes that they will "do the Onision thing" and shave Andy's head, make him film videos, then maybe he'll change his sex.

Andy can't figure out how to join the show.

James joins. It appears he is in his new house.

The host says he said "goodbye" 2 months ago. James says during one of his more dramatic moods. The host asks what inspired him to say goodbye to all of his fans? He says when you work at something for 12 years and it gets torn away from you, you want to take a break. Host asks why it was taken. James says he likes the question. He says the reason why people are losing content these days is cancel culture. Says people have share holders in the stock market and a risk of being canceled themselves and people attack everything they're associated with. He says recently David Dobrik was canceled and he was losing sponsorships because the company doesn't want to go down with them. The companies don't want to lose business when they see someone they sponsor is being boycotted. He says it's business smart, but morally disagreeable.

James says the Discovery+ documentary called for him to be removed from the internet.

Andy appears. Andy says it's a horrible situation for James to be in and tells him he will do fine. James says he fears for the host and Andy because they aren't taking the position of "Anti-Onision" and anyone who goes against them becomes the target of that community. Andy says he doesn't care and he's sticking up for Onision. James laughs and says Andy has his own extensive celebrity experience so he understands how things work in "the biz. "

The host says everyone is at risk of getting canceled and saying anything can get you canceled these days. She says she was pissed off when she watched the documentary because everyone had groupies who want to sleep with them. They come after him and want him, he ignored them, they kept coming, and now he's at fault? Says now he is canceled and Andy is already canceled. She asks who is not in danger of being canceled at this point?

James says people told him not to go on the stream because of Andy Dick. James laughs and says he was told he couldn't work with Andy. He says people hold serial killers and people who make people upset at the same level. He says they have no gauge for morality, it's all the same to them. Says when you cancel someone for being a law abiding citizen who does things by the book and ignore someone who isn't famous and does horrible things, it shows your priorities. He says it's not about right and wrong, it's about who will bring more attention to me and make me look better.

The host asks James to show her one guy who would decline an offer from a hot fan to meet up. Andy points to himself as she's saying this. James says he thinks there is a significant misunderstanding to what she thinks he went through. He says there were no groupies or hot fans.

He says 10 years ago he dates a Canadian pop star, but he uses the term pop star loosely because she never got that huge. Says she had one music video that got over 1 million views. He says she dove into his life, contacted him early December 2010. He points out they showed this in the documentary. He says he responded to her something inspirational because she was talking about how she was on the edge of suicide and he wanted to help her. He wanted to be the person he represented in his videos, someone who does suicide awareness, etc. He says full disclosure, he straight up left his spouse for this person. The host asks if this was Skye, his high school sweetheart. James says not exactly. He says he broke up with Skye when they were 18 and 19 or 19 and 19 because he told her he couldn't make her happy. He joined the air force and she would write him letters.

Drunken Peasants comment "Cry is Kai-ing now." is features. James says "nice" and laughs.

He says he saw there were a lot of military benefits to getting married. Skye was his best friend and he thought it would be great to get benefits and bring her wherever he went. Says he married his best friend, then he fell madly in love with Shiloh. Six months prior he threated divorce because she said because they were married, half of his stuff was hers. He says that wasn't the agreement because he asked for a prenup. He told her if she was in this marriage for half of his things, let's get divorced now. He says she said never mind and if they get divorced she wouldn't try to take his stuff.

James says when Shiloh came along he realized what a real relationship was supposed to be like. He says he could talk for 10 hours about this because it's such a thorough and rich story. Andy says you could talk for years about what it's like going after a girl. James laughs and says, "a little sexist there?"

Andy and the host talks about their relationship. The host says other men she's dated didn't like commitment and never proposed to her. The host says James likes commitment. James says he proposed to 4 people in his life. Andy asks if anyone said yes? James says all 4 said yes. Andy asks then why isn't he married to them? James says he's been married 9 years. Andy asks to all 4 of them?

James says he only knew Adrienne from Texas 2 weeks and he proposed to her.

The host says she's been talking to Andy about James all week, but Andy forgets. Andy says he knows, but he won't bring it up. James says he's willing to talk about almost anything. Andy says he loves this kid and the host says she knew he would. She says he has so many amazing videos and she wants Andy to collab with him. James says before he went on, he was joking if Andy was like "you're a POS" and screamed at him, he'd still be a fan. He says Andy is top 5 comedians. James says Andy's still a comedian because he's made millions laugh. Says Andy took social norm and threw it into a woodchipper and does whatever he wants. He says he never saw a comedian with no limits, other than Sacha Baron Cohen. He says some comedians pretend they have no limits, but censor themselves later on. Says Andy seems to be on the same path, which is amazing. Andy thanks him.

Andy starts to get upset with them comments on the live. James asks if there's comments and takes a look. He says "this is great" and announced he will give them a crash course on the internet. He says there is an algorithm that promotes whatever you want to believe, like if you're a conspiracy theorist that believe in aliens. You keep seeing videos about it and it's an endless cycle of telling you you're right. James says Andy would probably laugh at this concept, but they took countless clips from comedy sketches and framed them as if they were from real life. He says there's one clip where he says mean things to someone, but they don't address he's dressed as the Joker and they're dressed as Harley Quinn.

He says he did countless pranks where people thought they were real. He says he did meltdown video series, which was one of his favorite video series ever. He says he rubbed poop on himself, lived in a box, etc. He says people ate it up and believed it was real even though he left hints in the videos that it was fake because they wanted to believe their pre-existing narrative that he was a nut case. He says it was entertaining until someone showed up to his house, then he stopped doing it. They drank the kool aid to the extent that they brought it to real life. (He's talking about Chris Hansen.) The host asks if it's scary to have people show up. He says it is when you have small children. He says when people show up to your house you think these people need mental help because they don't understand this is fiction. The host asks if this is the main reason he said goodbye? He says it was more an assortment of emotions. The host says he's an emotional guy. James says it depends, he could be. He says he's chill until you put someone he loves in danger. He says on camera he is "whatever I wish to be" because being a character is fun.

The host says she saw him go crazy in a few videos and wondered if he was bi-polar or had depression. He laughs and she says that's something she suffers from, so that's why she asking. He asks, you're bi-polar? She says yes. James says he is not. She asks if he has depression or anxiety. He says he has major depressive disorder and he was diagnosed last year so existential crisis happen often with him. Andy says "boo-mother-fucking-hoo." James laughs and says that's the father figure he needed growing up.

The hosts says she knows his parents divorced when he was 2. She asks if that affected him. He says "probably." She asks if it affected his relationships because he seems to have volatile relationships. She says she's in one currently. Andy asks what does she mean? She says sometimes Andy calls her a cunt. James laughs and says "yeah." James asks if it's a comedian thing to call people cunts? She says it didn't sound very comical. James says he wouldn't take it personally because what matters is if they stand by you, don't hurt you physically, that they give you love, and they don't say anything out of pure hate.

Andy shows a pill to the camera and takes it. The host asks what it was and Andy says muscle relaxer. James looks a little shocked, but mostly amused.

They have fans on to ask James questions. The first one asks if he really chained a girl in his basement. James says that's another thing the conspiracy mill musters up and no one was chained in his basement. The fans says he doesn't get why they would demonetize him because his channels were dead and he wasn't making any money. James says he was actually making money, he was solidly making a living and it was taken away.

The fans asks about the 14 year old James and Kai groomed, he says he's not saying it's true but he was wondering. James says it's not true and that person ( Sarah ) swore on their grandmother's life it wasn't true. He says if you to to Onision.com/IRL it has videos footage and texts of them saying they were not. The fans asks if James thinks he could sue YouTube for suspending him for offline behavior. James says it's hard to find a lawyer that would not mind being bombarded by negative reviews. He says cancel culture affects people with actual jobs too.

The host talks about how she and Andy are trying to find Andy a new place to live. She jokingly says with Onision. James says he's not in an entertainment-friendly place to live. The host asks what he means. He says LA is more relevant. The host asks why he doesn't live somewhere like LA. James says he's more of a rain and clouds person. The host says she always thought he would make a great actor. He says going to LA feels like his eye are being melted.

Another fan comes on. She says she grew up watching Onision and used to be a Patreon of his on and off for a couple of years, but she's more indifferent now. She says she already knows both sides of everything, but she thinks it''s a lot of it is bull crap. She says as someone with a similar mental disorder as said person- she understand why they would flip like that, but it's extremely shitty. James says he wasn't the person who went through all of the horrible things. Yes, he was demonetized and lost a means to make a living off other platforms, but the person they betrayed was the person he's married to. Kai didn't insult or engage, or do anything bad to anyone ever. The fact that their life got ripped apart makes him feel bad that he ever spoke to them. They have a family so it's hard to regret that. He says that's the only person anyone should feel bad for. He kicked someone out of his life, then he made passive aggressive videos about dating people and it leading to the same result. That person took it personally and lashed out. He triggered them and they attacked. Kai did nothing wrong.

They get into a bit(?) about Andy cheating on the host and her exposing him with a video. James just kind of sits there and watches.

The host asks if James is in a committed relationship with his wife. James says Kai is transgender and identifies as a guy. He says he heard the person earlier that implied he changes people's scientific genders. He says he was confused by that. The host just says "yeah" and there's a bit of a pause. James says they are in a committed relationship. She says he used to bring in other people. He says he is committed, but sometimes they were not exclusive. She asks if he has threesomes and orgies. He says not orgies.

They bring in another guest. She says she is new to him, but is familiar with cancel culture. She says it has to have been hard for him and his family. She asks what advice she has for people dealing with this. He says to not engage with anyone. He says people would do things that were illegal and a danger to his family so he kicked them out of his life. He completely isolate himself from them and they would try to hurt him. He says when you are in the public eye and you have a falling out with someone they can destroy you by spreading rumors. He says the Youtuber Anthony Padilla was terrified of getting into a relationship because he didn't want it to go south and his life to be destroyed. He says if you get in a relationship with someone, don't get out of it.

[littlemixnet]

Little Mix on what it takes to survive being the most bullied band in pop

Still teenagers when they were catapulted to fame, superstardom came at a price for Little Mix. They open up to Francesca Babb about the soaring highs and crashing lows of the past nine years. It is the end of our YOU cover shoot, and I am facing the lesser-spotted sight of a barefaced Little Mix. Wet wipes swipe back and forth across their faces and, as the foundation departs in a deluge of coffee-coloured tissues, Jesy Nelson and Leigh-Anne Pinnock, both 29, and Jade Thirlwall and Perrie Edwards, both 27, visibly relax into their tracksuits and boyfriend jeans, shoulders dropping as they settle into themselves. I’m so used to seeing them contoured and camera ready that I assumed full glamour was their happy place. But perhaps the real Little Mix are not the war-paint-and-leotard-clad pop stars we’ve spent almost ten years watching grow up, but rather the four women they have become behind the glare of the spotlight. It’s those four women that I’m intrigued to meet. Since winning The X Factor nine years ago, there have been highs – selling over 50 million records globally, a significant percentage of which were self-penned, and creating enough accompanying make-up lines and merchandise to keep them and their families comfortable for the foreseeable future (recent reports suggest they have earned a combined £28.5 million to date). But there have also been lows – perpetual picking apart by both the public and the press, bullying and vitriol from online trolls. The most extreme cases of which led Jesy to attempt suicide during Little Mix’s early days in 2013 (she regards a tweet from the controversial Katie Hopkins – ‘Packet Mix have still got a chubber in their ranks. Less Little Mix. More Pick n Mix’ – as the ‘pinnacle point’ for her depression) and pushed Perrie into an ongoing struggle with anxiety. Fame has changed them. In some ways they are still youthful and silly – dropping phrases into conversation that wouldn’t be out of place in a playground – yet, in others, they are wise beyond their years, diving headfirst into battles on feminism, race and mental health. They’re fun enough to be light relief, smart enough to inspire a generation struggling with the pressures of youth and social media even before a pandemic was thrown at them, and ballsy enough to leave Simon Cowell’s record label because they didn’t feel he had their best interests at heart. ‘It’s never really been a cruise, has it?’ Jade ponders, a copy of social activist Bell Hooks’ 2002 feminist theory Communion: The Female Search For Love in her hand (not for show, I might add; when I ask her about it, she is well versed in its content). ‘It’s either been a really big high, or a really big low.’ Jesy, who has found herself the target of some of the cruelest contempt from the world outside Little Mix, agrees: ‘Some of the best times, some of the worst times.’ Comments on her weight, her looks, her place in the band, comments that she should take her own life, all led her into a deep depression and the aforementioned suicide attempt. Her documentary last year, Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out, revealed her journey through it all and, while harrowing, it is essential viewing on the realities of growing up in a world dominated by social media. ‘Before we got in the group, I never looked at myself and thought, “I don’t like that” – I don’t think any of us did. I never thought, “Oh god, I’m fat”, and then we got in the industry, and we all started wanting to change things about ourselves. It’s so sad. There are things [in the past] I definitely wish I hadn’t done,’ she says, referring to the suicide attempt, in which she took an overdose after a two-year battle with depression and an eating disorder. ‘But would I be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through all of that?’ ‘There was a time when it was worse than it is now,’ adds Leigh-Anne, who has increasingly used her own Instagram channel to vocalise her experience of racism, both overt and underlying, throughout her time in the band. ‘I guess we’re taking steps forward, but I fear for my [future] daughters…’ ‘It makes me not want to have a kid,’ agrees Jesy. ‘Those insecurities that we all have now because of social media, imagine having that embedded in you as a child?’ Before you write them off as four very lucky girls ungratefully complaining about a lifestyle so many dream of, I should point out that they are fully aware of the paradox of their privilege. I suppose the point is, it’s not too much to ask to not be bullied to the point of hospitalisation as a by-product, is it? ‘Little Mix has changed our lives for the better, and our families’ lives, and we have achieved so much,’ says Perrie. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ agrees Jesy (a warning I will hear repeatedly throughout our hour together, perhaps thanks to almost a decade of their quotes being blasted out of context for click-bait). ‘I’m not going to sit here and say we’ve got a terrible life, because we haven’t, but I do think our innocence was taken from us.’ It’s a while since the girls last did any press. Lockdown saw a halt to any activity they had planned, including the launch of their new talent show, BBC1’s Little Mix: The Search (in which they, well, search for a new band to mentor and join them on tour). But the time apart has not diminished their ability to finish each other’s sentences and jump to each other’s aid. It has, it seems, been really rather good for them and allowed them to come back fired up for the release of their sixth album, Confetti, which came out this week. ‘It was needed,’ agrees Jesy. ‘We’re never not with each other and we’re always busy. Our mornings start early, we finish really late.’ Being at home has meant more time spent with their families, with Jade even starting her own show on MTV with her mum Norma. Called Served!, the self-filmed series saw the pair interview celebrity drag queens and challenge each other to cooking competitions. ‘I love drag culture,’ she says, ‘and me mam was by herself in lockdown, so I thought it’d be something nice to keep her entertained.’ ‘Your mum could be on Loose Women,’ Leigh-Anne muses. ‘Imagine our mams on a show!’ shrieks Jade. ‘Nobody else would get a word in edgeways with my mam,’ laughs Perrie. ‘Ooh, when Debbie goes off on Twitter,’ says Jade, of Perrie’s mum’s habit of weighing in on comments from haters. ‘My mam will text me, have you seen Debbie’s been going off on someone!’ It is interesting that all four talk frequently about their mums throughout our chat, and yet there is no mention of fathers. While their mums often appear on Instagram, a sighting of Perrie’s dad on her 23rd birthday was extremely rare. Perhaps the Little Mix dads’ absence in the narrative is because the four girls were predominantly raised by their mothers (all of their parents separated when they were younger), and another reason the group’s bond is so tight. Little Mix are each other’s wall of arms, their own personal bodyguards. Jesy, they unanimously agree, is Scary Mix (although I find her a delight), which is interesting given her own inability to bat off other people’s words. ‘When it’s you on your own dealing with something personally,’ Jesy says, ‘It’s completely different. You feel so vulnerable alone, but we are a force when we’re together.’ It’s not hard to see, in today’s social-media obsessed society where there is little retribution for cruelty, why four attractive, successful young women, with attractive, successful young boyfriends (two footballers – Perrie dates Liverpool’s Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Leigh-Anne is engaged to Watford’s Andre Gray – while Jade is with Rizzle Kicks singer Jordan Stephens and Jesy is going out with Our Girl actor Sean Sagar), who seem to be living a dream life have found themselves at the heart of a whirlwind of vitriol. There was the infamous spat with Piers Morgan, in which he mocked them for posing naked but for the insults that have been hurled at them painted on their bodies. He accused them of using sex to sell records and called them ‘foul-mouthed, talentless, clothes-allergic little dimwits’, which is not how I find them to be. ‘I take Piers with a pinch of salt,’ Jesy says, rolling her eyes. ‘He does it to cause drama, so I take no notice. When we won The X Factor, we didn’t look like a generic girl band: we’re all different shapes and sizes, we didn’t dress sexy, so immediately everyone was, “What’s this?”’ ‘Usually, when you see a girl band, they’re perfection, they have six-packs – and we didn’t,’ continues Jesy. ‘People saw us as kids, so even though we’re now women, people still think of us that way, so when we come out on stage in leotards, they think, “That’s disgusting!”’ ‘One Direction didn’t get the s**t we get, because they’re men,’ states Leigh-Anne. ‘It’s like, “They’re four girls, let’s come at them”. As soon as it’s girls, they think, “Oh you slag.”’ ‘When it’s men, it’s celebrated, but the minute women sexualise themselves and feel powerful doing it, we’re told to rein it in,’ adds Jade. ‘We’re conditioned to think that women are there to be these innocent and pure beings and the minute you step out of that, it’s carnage.’ Little Mix, however, are not scared of embracing that carnage and of sparking a debate. For their show The Search, Jade describes how it was important for them to set the tone on respect when each new person auditioned. ‘Because we are small women, it’s important to show people that they need to respect us, that we know what we’re talking about and we need to be listened to,’ she says. ‘There’s no nastiness,’ continues Jesy about the show, which has been praised for modernising and freshening up the age-old TV format. ‘There’s no making anyone feel uncomfortable for entertainment.’ They also insisted a large part of their budget be dedicated to looking after the contestants’ mental health, understanding, first hand, the pitfalls of talent shows. The Search is not their first attempt at diversifying their talent. As a group, they have LMX make-up line and also a perfume, Style By Little Mix. Subsequently, they have become expert businesswomen, refusing to make the mistakes of pop groups past, so often left completely penniless at the end of their careers. ‘I remember walking into an early label meeting and saying, “This is who we want to be, this is the campaign we want, this is the imagery we want,”’ says Jade. ‘We knew our brand from the get go and we very much steered that ship.’ It’s a long way from their (as Jesy puts it) ‘working-class backgrounds’. Since joining the band, each one has bought their mum a house and, while their tale is not entirely rags to riches, the jump from Primark to Prada in recent years has certainly been significant. When it comes to business, Perrie describes herself and Leigh-Anne as the ones who will often seek a compromise in difficult situations, while they send Jesy and Jade in when deals need to be made. ‘Jesy’s the badass,’ Perrie laughs. ‘Whenever I’m scared, I’ll stand behind her. She’s the one who puts her foot down in a boardroom full of men and says, “It’s going to be this way.” But we pick our battles. We don’t just argue about every decision – it’s when we feel we have to.’ ‘Nobody could say that we are difficult, and if they do, they’re lying,’ says Leigh-Anne adamantly. Adds Jesy: ‘We know what we want, and we know what kids want.’ Little Mix have lived over a third of their lives in the spotlight. They’ve seen how things work, how things don’t, and they’ve learnt how to cope with it all. The lows may have been spectacularly low, but the highs have surpassed any of their expectations. Their story is not your classic fairytale, but it’s one they have learnt they can write their own ending for. If the Little Mix I meet today is anything to go by, I wouldn’t expect that ending to come any time soon. Little Mix’s new album Confetti is out now. Their movie LM5: The Tour Film will be in cinemas nationwide on 21 and 22 November.

[the-toasted-teacake]

Carlando made my brain too noisy. I’m not sure what my point was.

On the eve of DTS, all the talk about how exactly Drive to Survive will create a rivalry from Carlos and Lando’s friendship got me thinking.

So… I actually don’t think it’s that ‘out there’ for Netflix to portray their relationship as a rivalry. (*winces* Don’t shoot me!) They do have a fiercely competitive rivalry, both on and off track. It’s not a nasty, bitter kind of rivalry–they don’t hate each other, sabotage each other, or wish each other ill. It’s healthy and respectful, and the desire to beat each other drives both of them to be better–but the rivalry is definitely there. It’s an integral part of the relationship, just like their supportive friendship and genuine affection for each other 🧡.

But I think that healthy rivalry gives Netflix more than enough ammo to build an exaggerated tale of animosity between teammates. Because who needs nuance when you can have mElOdRaMa? (I’m speculating. Who knows, DTS might offer a fair portrayal of their relationship--but based on Carlos and Lando’s reactions and the style of previous series, I’m assuming Netflix have been, er, liberal with the creative license.)

We know Netflix is prone to using radio messages, video footage, and interview quotes out of context–cutting the footage relating to one situation as if it relates to a totally separate incident. They mould the content to fit their narrative.

But where will they drum up the footage to craft their tale of rivalry and betrayal? My guesses:

Carlos’ bad luck at the start of the season → Carlos had a run of really bad luck early in the season, and most of it was totally out of his hands (good article here). While I don’t think he truly blamed the team for his misfortune, he was obviously massively frustrated at the time. Things just kept going wrong. Every time his luck seemed to have turned, at the next race he had another disaster. Tensions run high, and I’m sure his frustrations were reflected in comments and interviews. I can imagine how DTS could easily spin that frustration into a storyline about ‘Carlos feeling that McLaren were favouring Lando’.

Focusing on the tense moments as teammates, at the expense of all the cooperative ones → Lando and Carlos have a genuine friendship and a cooperative teammate relationship: *George voice* FACT. But it's true that your teammate is your biggest rival and performance benchmark, and that will inevitably create some tense moments. Lando has said himself there were times where they “hated” each other. I don’t for a second believe that they ever actually hated each other, but there were obviously moments where they were frustrated or angry–because of bad luck, because of dissatisfaction with their own performance on the day, because a car upgrade they received/didn’t receive benefitted the other and it felt unfair–and perhaps in those moments they resented each other. Made some comments out of frustration or defensiveness. It hurts when you’re beaten by your teammate, even if you’re happy for them too.

Emphasising the moments they actually were annoyed with each other → Lando and Carlos are close friends, but let’s face it–all relationships have their moments! No matter how strong your relationship with someone, sometimes they drive you mad. You get grumpy with each other and overreact to little stuff. Carlos has said that Lando is in a foul mood sometimes and not up for joking–it doesn’t mean anything deep, but it sure makes for dramatic footage if you catch it on camera and spin it just right 🙃 (I dread to think what storyline Netflix could make up about my sister and I–we’re really close and rarely properly argue, but sometimes she makes me 😤)  

Overplaying or misrepresenting their banter, maybe → Carlos and Lando are sometimes kind of savage to each other! 😅 They clearly enjoy winding each other up, having a little dig at each other. I don’t think there’s much edge to it. It’s all in good fun and just part of their friendship, but take it out of context and cut it the right way and it could easily look like animosity.

And, of course, interviews at opportune moments, full of leading questions to draw out every bit of drama and elicit spicy soundbites → If Netflix interviews people when they’re riled up and tensions are high, it’s easy to get the response they want–we’ve often seen the controversial comments made during the post-race interviews in the media pen. People say all sorts in the heat of the moment! Also, ask someone ‘how angry they were’ at a situation, and their response will be different from if you asked them ‘how they felt’ about it.

So that was a really long way of saying: I love Carlos and Lando’s relationship. (Shocker, I know.) As teammates they built a strong bond and cooperative environment to push McLaren forward, always respecting each other along the way. As friends they’ve shared a lot of laughs; supported and encouraged each other through the doubts; been each other’s biggest fan; just got each other’s little idiosyncrasies; and shown all of that affection in the face of a sport that still believes teammates need to hate each other to succeed. They want to beat each other on track more than anything, but they also seem to enjoy each other. Sometimes they probably irritated the hell out of each other too. But I think they found each other at the right time, in the right place, and were exactly what the other needed. Watching them together makes me smile.

So when Netflix inevitably hones in on the rivalry angle, I don’t think it’ll be a total fabrication–just a massive exaggeration of one part of their relationship. That said, I will be angry if DTS really, truly tries to suggest they hated each other or ever lost that respect.

I’m looking forward to watching DTS, and I’m glad we get a whole episode focused on Lando and Carlos, but I’ll watch it all with a very healthy dose of scepticism. And: they’ll never stop me shipping it 😁

So there you have it. My long-winded speculative analysis of the relationship between two blokes I’ve never met and its portrayal in a documentary I’ve yet to watch. What could possibly go wrong? 😬

(I may have forgotten to mention that I haven’t even watched DTS 1 & 2 yet. I’ll get round to it eventually, I swear…)