#getting mad at this writing surprisingly does help distract tho

[archduke-enver-gortash]

playing tales of arise to try and distract myself and oh my god this is pathetic. in the second fucking half of the game there’s a side quest to learn more about the villains from the first act and god. it really feels like the writers woke up in a cold sweat and realised they forgot to give their antagonists (or characters in general for that matter cough cough) any screen time or unique personality. AND EVEN THEN IT’S ONLY LIKE 4 LINES FROM RANDOM NPCS AT BEST??? BALLSACK DEEPLY CARED FOR HIS HOUSE AND ITS MEMBERS?? YEAH?? HOW ABOUT. SHOWING THAT ON SCREEN. no? because then you’d have to put effort into the writing of this whole thing?? ah ok got it my bad fam 👌

[mountainashes]

Ok so I'm just gonna do 1 final hc post abt the rest of the characters. Bc yea

Matthew Taylor

He likes sports but he does actually try to engage with his friend's hobbies- e.g going shopping with Em and Jess, and he's definitely sat and listened to Mike rant abt politics or sth before. Hannah's bugs made him get over any fear he had of insects.

He's very patient and friendly but when he gets mad he gets MAD. (we see that in game anyway tho tbh).

Ashley often helps him with homework.

He has ADHD.

He has a younger sister.

He has pet guinea pigs that he loves and Jess always jokes she only hangs out with him for them.

He's pansexual.

He's had a tiny little crush on Josh before.

He was decent friends with Mike before everything.

Even after him and Em break up he stays as a close friend of hers.

He's a bit of a pushover.

Michael Munroe (I'll be as nice to him as I can).

After UD he develops a fascination with wolves.

He's not actually as well-off as some of the other kids in the group, and he's sort of insecure about it which led to him putting up his whole confident guy charade which evolved into him being a massive dickhead.

His mother passed away when he was young and his Dad is an asshole. He spends most of his time out of his own house and his own bedroom is quite empty.

He scares quite easily and when he's alone he often ends up talking to himself just so there's a distraction.

When he's alone his whole persona comes crashing down. Part of why he fears isolation.

He has ADD, and he also has narcisstic traits.

He's also autistic but thats more me and my friend projecting when we write him lol.

He's pretty smart in the subjects he likes but he lacks common sense and does lots of dumb things.

He lived in Florida until he was 14.

He's demiromantic bisexual.

He needs to feel useful or he gets quite upset. This often ends up with him taking on the sort of 'leader' role in the group.

He tends to clash with Josh a lot, and Beth.

Christopher Hartley

He's not a massive fan of animals. He's either scared of them or complains about them being dirty/diseased.

He's trans.

He isn't into doing sports but he is surprisingly strong.

He's autistic.

He knows basically everything about technology and fuck all about anything else.

He did not pay attention in most of his subjects and then would end up going to Ashley for help and she'd scold him.

When he was young and first met Josh's sisters he was just. Amazed by the fact Hannah was allowed to be a girl.

He had a short-lived crush on Hannah as a kid. And it was mostly envy.

When he was a kid he had long hair, which he complained about until he got a 'compromise' with sort of medium hair length. When he was 15 he chopped it all off himself and has had it short ever since. (he was also in so much trouble).

He has quiet bpd. (this is sort of projection ignore me pls. I have my reasons I am not going to explain them here).

He's biromantic demisexual.

He's pretty much always had a massive crush on Josh that he barely realised.

He's generally just kind of a disaster bi.

He's very quick to get defensive and upset.

He tends to go way too far with pranks and the only people who can ever really reel him back in are Josh and Ashley.

[allisonlol]

Hello! Can I just say, how much I love you writing and such, it’s just perfect like I mean it

But could I possibly have what different BSD characters (dazai etc etc) would do to like help their s/o and such who has gotten out of surgery and in pain? Like how they would help etc.

Thank you so much! Take your time with this and remember to stay hydrated and all that! :)

a/n: tysm anon ily!! i got ur other ask too and, good luck with ur surgery!! i promise everything will be ok <33 picked some of the characters that i thought would be the best for this :0 also, thank u all for 1.6k??!?! was just celebrating 1.5 a week ago?!? plz ily all sm

warnings: surgery, descriptions of pain, but tons of fluff

(Dazai, Yosano, Ranpo) When Their S/O Gets Out of Surgery

Dazai

so first of all, dazai stayed with you for the entirety of the hospital visit

from the consultation, to the surgery itself, to the recovery afterwards

he wasn't allowed in the room during the operation but stayed in the waiting room (probably blowing up your phone with memes for you to see when you woke up)

speaking of when you wake up, expect to see this mfs face the second you open your eyes

hovering over you like (•◡•)

goes all "good morning belladonna~" while you just stare at him like O_O because you're still loopy from the anesthesia

^he thinks it's the most adorable thing and records a video to send to the agency group chat

once the effects of the anesthesia have worn off, dazai helps you to the car and brings you home to rest

is literally so doting?? and surprisingly responsible for once

makes sure you take any medications for recovery and picks up food from ur favorite place

his heart breaks to hear you complain about the pain so he'll lay with you and hold you until it feels better <3

meanwhile you're wondering why ur phone is blowing up with messages from the agency group chat?? (dw, they're just commenting on how adorably lost you looked)

then there's the one message from kunikida that's like "they look horrified. but i would be too if dazai was the first thing i saw when i woke up" based asf

Yosano

she's literally a doctor, therefore the best one for this situation

tries to convince you to let HER do the operation?? you gotta refuse because getting cut up with her mf chainsaw sounds even worse than the surgery

despite the fact that she won't be carrying out the operation, she MAKES SURE it all goes smoothly

drives you to the hospital, checks you in, and leads you to an operation room??

you don't have to lift a finger

the other doctors are just like "....." but let her do her thing since they'd heard about her work from the agency

yosano demands to be allowed to stay in the room during the surgery and you best believe she is not denied

keeps a careful eye on every movement the surgeon makes (plz they were mad stressed)

waits by ur bedside until you wake up & holds your hand even tho you aren't conscious

once home, she is very strict with making sure you recover to 100%

deadass sets timers on ur phone to remind you to take your medication

prepares you foods that will be easy on your stomach, and only eats the same things as you so you won't feel left out

shares the latest workplace gossip to distract from the pain as well >:)

Ranpo

bro is all over the place

atsushi probably gets dragged along at one point?? since neither you nor ranpo know the directions to the hospital

once you're in the operation, he does leave the building BUT only so he can go buy a bunch of snacks for y'all to share once you wake up

literally walks in with a shopping bag overflowing

ur not supposed to be eating that stuff after but...no one's exactly looking sooooo >:)

atsushi comes back to pick y'all up and drop you off at home ofc give this man a break

let me just say!! ranpo is the BEST at distracting you from the pain

he does everything from shoving snacks in your face, to putting on five different movies, to going on little story times about past cases he solved and how great he is

bouncing from topic to topic gets BOTH of y'all tired and then you end up falling asleep snuggling or something

but we all know you guys aren't making it to work on time the next morning (if you even show up)

kunikida spam calls at like eight AM and ranpo just answers like "SHUT THEBFUCK UP" before hanging up so you can keep sleeping <33

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie  @scul-pted @exorcisedstraydog  @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert  @stygianoir @sonder-paradise  @nervousyetconfidentway @beautiful-is-boring @alexaizawa @irethepotato @serenareiss

[widowswineapologist]

Hello again and I hope your 2022 is happy and healthy!❤️ I am in self-shipping hell (Tank and Edward are playing tug of war and I’m stuck in the middle of it help) Could you please write Ultimis Tank and Primis Richtofen mushy headcanons of their s/o cheering them up on a bad day?

AAAA SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I DELETED TUMBLR FOR A LIL WHILE BC I HAD NO SPACE ON MY PHONE-- I HOPE THESE R OKAY!!

warnings: uhhh depression nd slight suggestiveness. Also i did not proofread bc fuck that

Ultimis Dempsey:

- Okay honestly I think he's such a bitch whenever he's having a bad day. His sarcasm and overall assholery is amped up to 10. Probably gets into a lot of arguments with the crew too.

- Luckily for everyone else, you're Dempsey's pride and joy whether he's angry or not and he literally cannot help but smile at you whenever you try to cheer him up.

- He'll try to keep that gruff, tough dude persona when you start cracking jokes or being extremely sweet to him but the facade will just break after a few minutes.

- Tank totally does that thing where he cracks a smile and gets mad about it so he looks away from you.

- Literally say some stupid shit and he'll lose his fucking mind and then his mood is back to normal. You could just do some absolutely god awful impression of somebody and he'll straight up bust out laughing, it'll be cute. Do a horrible impression of one of your teammates and he'll join in. Needless to say, you both will throw SO MUCH SHADE.

- I think he would appreciate being distracted rather than directly comforted when he's having a bad day, yknow? But that isn't to say he won't appreciate a good hug or two. Just...not too many, okay? He's got a reputation to uphold.

- I personally think he's a little awkward with comforting people but he will definitely try to return the favor, to show his appreciation because we all know for a fact this motherfucker will be caught DEAD before he says "thank you for cheering me up" out loud.

- Also also,, there's another way to cheer him up if you're up for it 😳

Primis Richtofen:

- okay but when is he not having a bad day fr fr

- I imagine he's a lot more somber than Tank, but that isn't to say he ISN'T snappy. You know how bo4 Primis Richtofen is just a dick to everyone? He's prolly like that (cant blame him tho. imagine finding out everything u've been working so hard for is worthless nd ur crew wont care abt u even if u sacrifice urself to save their musty asses)

- He canonically has meltdowns (would they be called panic attacks? I've never had one b4 so I wouldn't know--) so I imagine he'd probably try to hide how he's feeling from you for the longest time bc he has to keep up that facade of he knows everything and has to do everything.

- You'd probably find out when looking for him around the grounds and you find him huddled in a corner sobbing and hyperventilating.

- Surprisingly, he'll let you hug him then. But get ready to be nearly crushed bc he's clinging to you and wont let go until he has no tears left to cry.

- Cheering him up is a difficult task bc he'll never truly feel better, but indulging him in his scientific ramblings, joking around with him, or offering to lighten his workload will make him feel better.

- But I think he'd catch onto what you're doing real quick, especially if you start asking abt wonder weapons to him so he can ramble his little heart out.

- I swear if he didn't love you before then, he would fall head over heels now. You're...going out of your way to cheer him up? When you have your own issues to deal with? Brb he's planning a impromptu wedding rn

- He won't ever forget it, and though he may be a little awkward himself, he'll definitely try to be there whenever you're having a bad day too <3

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 4 Episode 3: Gang of Secret

(Spoilers below)

-So they just beat a villain, and Ladybug is acting SUS. Like she doesn't Want to leave yet. Hmm

-Chat noir YOU SLICK MOFO. (I dare not ruin it, because I am laughing at it)

-She is still not over her break up. So I guess Lukanette stans, get whatever remains of your juice while its there.

-Ladybug ... sweetie. Do you need a hug? Cause you look like you need a hug.

-Chat noir realizing his idea was NOT very smart after that.

-Ladybug ruining experiences for a LOT of couples today

-Chat noir trying to help, but Ladybug aint telling him

-They are going swimming now. Chat noir for once, is not thrilled about hanging out with Ladybug... thats a YIKES.

-She has goggles and a towel, so she did go swimming.

-The Kwami see her in pain, QUICK, TEAR DOWN THE PHOTOS.

-She said no tho, but clearly sad about it.

______________

-So Alya is giving the girl posse the rundown on Marinette. Claiming she is lovesick.

-Rose thought they were cute, and Juleka says nothing. Is it wrong that I want Juleka to have an opinion? Whether positive OR negative

-Juleka is like "Yea, he is sad." shows picture of sad Luka. Though to be fair, that is a decent pic of him.

- So Alya is LAST to know. Double ouch.

-Marinette was crying in the bathroom, baby girl no!

-MARINETTE OMG! HOW DOES SHE HAVE THAT?!

-Alya out here trying to be a good friend. By showing Marinette she has support. (She aint even mad that she was last to find out. She is more concerned about her friend)

-THEY HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE!

-They calling her now

-She didn't answer. She is too sad

-So she won't detransform and talk with tikki. Can I PLEASE give her a hug. She needs it.

-Yo... Marinette has zero concern for herself and only detransformed when she thought it was causing strain on Tikki.

-Mylene offering friendship bracelets. Never change dear.

-Okay so are they witches now?

-Alix is like 'Can I not be in a ritual, Id rather give her some juice'

_________________

-Marinette sad cause Ladybug can't have a boyfriend. Cause even if she dated Adrien, it would be the same as it was with Luka.... Tikki knows that aint true but can't say why. UGH! This is pain

-Did Tikki just confirm Kwami can't fall in love? NO! MY CHEESECAKE!

-OH S***! So now she gonna be Perma ladybug?!

-So the girls showed up as soon as ladybug left. This isn't good.

-And of course Marinette is TOO GOOD at making s***, so they curious about the new dollhouse

-OH S*** THAT WAS CLOSE!

-And things going to s*** in 10, 9, 8

-Oh no... this... this is not good. Marinette sweetie no. No please.

-Look can we take a second and APPRECIATE HOW HARD ALYA AND THE GIRLS ARE GOING FOR MARINETTE! Did the writers see all of the alya salt and say 'Yea f*** that noise'? Cause I feel like they did.

-Okay so I know Marinette just didn't want to expose her secret... but damn girl... THAT was harsh.

-Marinette literally going scorched earth for being Ladybug... Okay, this episode PHYSICALLY hurts me. SHE DOESNT MEAN IT GIRLS. PLEASE DONT HATE HER.

-Shadowmoth could you not. Like seriously?! COULD YOU F***ING NOT! MY BABY GIRL IS IN PAIN AND I WILL GO THROUGH MY SCREEN AND [Redacted]

-And then you'll have to f*** sideways.

-So first 5 way akumatization

-So can we talk about how the last 3 akuma were after the secrets of Marinette. well 2, but the other one was Adrien. But still. A Lot of Hawkmoth saying 'F*** this individual in particular'

-THEY JUST WANT HER TO STAY THEIR FRIEND! OMG I CANT EVEN BE MAD.

-I wish I could understand Juleka. Can someone please just translate with what she is saying. It was funny in truth, but I want to know

-OH Timebreaker and Horrificator are BACK. Yay, I missed them

-Just realized how AMAZING their Gang of akuma are. Like damn, thats like a super team of evil. Yea sure

___________________________

-Not to nitpick, but Marinette, you should have led with that box.

-TRIXX IS GONNA USE HIS POWERS OMG FINALLY! A PURE KWAMI POWER. We haven't seen that since Plagg.

-Damn that was a really boss illusion trixx. But question, how was that out of control? Like if anything, that was BETTER then when the user used it.

-Trixx makes a really good point. WHY DOES HE NEED A HOLDER AGAIN?!

-OH, HE WAS LYING. EVERYTHING LOOKS F***ING BANANAS.

-Trixx is now my second favorite Kwami.

-PLAGG! MY SON! HE IS IN THE EPISODE! I MISSED HIM. Also, surprisingly knows.

-Plagg cares about other Kwami.

-Adrien just chilling, watching tv. XD

-Timebreaker casually committing murder

-Hold it, Okay so why are so many people in school right now? Ivan is there, chloé and Sabrina? Oh my tomato son too. Can someone tell me wtf is up with this school schedule?

-Fragrance/Reflekta Power combo is amazing.

-Wow, this gang is MEGA DANGEROUS

-So yea Ladybug. Maybe... idk... TALK WITH CHAT NOIR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS!?

-So they really gotta plan this time.

-Ladybug smart to disarm Ladywifi.

-Ladybug trying to get lady wifi to fight the akuma. This is touching

-SHE DID IT! ALYA BROKE FREE! LIKE A MOTHERF***ING BOSS.

-No, shadow moth, you's a b***

-Loving this Alya- Ladybug friendship

-Chat noir looking boss by fighting 3 akuma at once while on the phone. Chat noir Leveled up.

-So Ladybug can now pull the miraculous out of anywhere because she has guardian status. Thats a cool trick. Makes it much easier.

-Thats a secret tho, Alya got trusted with a big secret.

-RENA ROUGE IN THE HOUSE!

_______

-And Chat noir is captured... but in his defense. He did have to fight 4 at once this time. So that took longer than usual. So no shame kitty. You did well.

-Lucky charm is an inner tube

-Clever illusion. POINTS! Using the goal of the akuma to distract. Alya gets gull points!

-WOW! REALLY CLEVER ILLUSION.

-Ladybug suave catch of rose tho.

-So that was probably the best Group akuma attack since Heroes day (and honestly it probably tops it)

________

-Marinette patches things up with her friends. That is a relief. She was able to somewhat explain her issues up to the point. Without spilling the details.

-Marinette has some really good friends.

-Alya knows that not everything has been told... Hold on DONT TELL ME.

-Oh wow, Marinette is breaking down.... My poor baby girl is hurting real bad.

-OH S*** SHE SAID IT! SHE TOLD HER! SHE TOLD ALYA!

____________________________________________________________

wow this episode... This one hurt. This one hurt a LOT. But also, it was really good.

Okay so, 10/10.

I haven't been this enthralled with an episode in a long time.

Are there one or two nitpicks? Absolutely.

Do I wish somethings were not mentioned? A little bit.

Am I glad Alya knows? Out of everyone, she is the second person I wanted Marinette to tell.

(The first one being chat noir, but lets face it, we kind of knew that won't be happening for a while.)

So can Alya salt stop now? Cause Alya CLEARLY showed how much of a motherf***ing boss she is.

But damn I didn't feel this emotional since Chat blanc.

I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THE AKUMA WERE REPEATS.

That was OBJECTIVELY, one of the best episodes in the entire series.

This made me rethink my favorite episode. THATS HOW GOOD IT WAS.

Season 4, You keep doing what you are doing. Your writing (minus some very minor nitpicks) has been pretty damn good.

[astaroth1357]

Congratulations!! So happy for you!! Do you mind writing a HC for the Tiny!MC, where the brothers see Tiny!MC in trouble with some lesser demons? Like, the lesser demon is bullying them or about to hurt them, how would the brothers react? You don’t have to write this if you don’t want to tho. Again Congratulations!!!

Demon Brothers React to Tiny!MC Being Threatened by Lesser Demons

You know, my first thought was "Which one of you fuckers lost tiny!MC in the first place?? Bad demons! Worse than usual! Keep better track of your itty-bitty human!"

Pretty much uses the same continuity to the rest of my Tiny!Series, I put this somewhere during the “Lucifer, I Shrunk Myself...” portion.

Warnings: Violence, Overly Protective Behavior

Intro:

Five minutes. Their demonic guardian said they were only going to put them down for Five. Minutes. It shouldn't have been that dangerous, or even risky, because everyone should have known that tiny!MC was under their protection. Sure, an itsy-bitsy human would make a perfect snack... but who would want to provoke the wrath of the student council for no reason??… Okay so, lesser demons aren’t exactly known for their intelligence but still...

This is not going to end well...

Lucifer

Doesn’t that lowlife know who he's messing with? Lucifer almost pities him for being so stupid, really…

He brought tiny!MC out to the gardens at their request because they were getting restless being stuck in his room. It wasn't supposed to be a dangerous area so he felt fine leaving them briefly to answer a call from Diavolo. When he came back he found a lesser demon standing over them... drooling...

What came out was a rather chilling side of Lucifer normally only seen by Mammon. One where he can walk up to a person, demon form out in full, then drag them away by the collar with an eerily calm smile on his face.

Tiny!MC didn't see what Lucifer did to the demon… but they did hear Cerberus get summoned before the firstborn returned to them. Their imagination worked to fill in the blanks…

Lucifer apologized to them rather kindly (a real rarity for him) but they noticed he cut their visit short and took them back to the House quickly. They got the sense he'd rather they be safe but bored in his room than entertained but vulnerable to such a dangerous world…

Mammon

Pfffffft, Mammon is protective of MC even when they’re normal-sized. Them being tiny doesn’t change much.

He had brought them along with him for one of his gambling nights. Unfortunately, he got too absorbed in the game to notice a group of lesser demons getting closer to tiny!MC than they really should have… At least until they shouted for his help.

It's rare to see Mammon mad. It really is. But there was nothing but pure rage in his eyes when he grabbed one of the demons by the throat and sent him crashing through the roulette tables. His speed made it pretty easy for him to round up all the others that tried to scatter and he gave them a similar treatment.

After everyone was thoroughly on the ground, bleeding, he asked the MC if they were hurt. If they were, then that'd just earn the downed demons another round of his fury. No one hurts his human like that! Big or small.

He'll apologize a whole bunch for letting his guard down… but also complain a little on the way back to the House because his luck was just starting to turn around too! 😖😞

Leviathan

Direct confrontation isn’t something Levi finds himself in often… but there can be exceptions.

He and tiny!MC were in one of the few stores in town that sold otaku goods and he had set them down to do some browsing in that hyper, distracted fanboy way he gets.

A couple of lesser demons were just some other patrons who happened by them, but who could pass up such a convenient snack?

Well, tiny!MC was convenient until the guys heard what was probably the world's most unholy hissing sound coming from the other side of the room…

Levi has never claimed to be at the peak of demonic prowess or anything, but just this once he was at their defense at a speed he’s never pulled off before. In practically a blink of an eye, he has one asshole lifted by the collar and the other getting crushed by his tail. It wasn't a pretty sight...

After the threat was dealt with, he snapped right back into the same ol'Levi like nothing ever happened, though. Blubbering apologies and frantically checking to be sure they were unharmed... What a somewhat terrifying sweetheart. 🤭

He pretty much refused to take them anywhere again until they were back to normal. Who needs the real world anyway?? His room is the only place they ever need to be!

Satan

You know this is exactly why he kept them so close in the first place...

Satan had to retrieve a book from the highest shelf in the RAD library so he set tiny!MC down in order to climb the ladder. A small gang of lesser demons decided to strike while he was up there browsing...

When he slid back down and turned to see the demons had surrounded the table that he left tiny!MC at, his shout alone was powerful enough to rattle the shelves behind him...

Needless to say, the Avatar of Wrath made very short work of the threat. And a library ladder can make a surprisingly versatile weapon if you put it in the hands of someone pissed enough to use it... and strong enough to rip it off its sliding track… What was it? Metal? Steel? Eh, not strong enough to stop an angry Satan anyway.

After the dust settled, he double-checked to be sure the MC was okay and apologized for being so careless... But they could tell he was still trying his best to regain his composure post berserker freakout. Someone's going to have to nurse those bloody knuckles for him later...

His overprotective instincts tripled afterward. If you think that Satan was ever going to put them down again then that’s a fantasy. Between the lesser demons and that sly bastard Solomon, tiny!MC was never leaving his hand at RAD again. Period.

Asmodeus

Excuse me?? Some lesser demon was doing what now?! Oh HELL no!! Not to his adorable tiny!MC!!

Asmo was shopping with tiny!MC and set them down outside a dressing room while he tried on a cute outfit. Apparently, a lesser demon was doing the same in the stall next to him and came out to find a little human waiting patiently outside… powerless… vulnerable… and tasty!

Asmo opened the door right as the demon picked tiny!MC up to have a bite. The fifthborn's scream shattered all the mirrors in the store like he was some kind of infuriated opera singer then he ripped the demon a very verbal (and physical) new one...

Once the attacker was pretty much decimated, Asmo tended to the MC like they'd just gotten dragged through an active war zone. He asked them, "Are you okay?!" so many times that the words "I’m fine" pretty much lost all meaning...

The sheer carnage left the store employees too damn petrified to ask him to leave so he bought the (now ruined) outfit he had on and took them right home. His sweet tiny!MC was definitely getting a spa treatment that night as an apology… Poor thing...

Beelzebub

Apparently, some people just want to go bear poking for fun...

He and tiny!MC were outside a food stall and he had set them down to go wait in line. In hindsight, he probably should have known the meals would attract other hungry demons… ones that wouldn't mind a free snack… And tiny!MC got cornered pretty quickly while his back was turned.

Those demons might have thought twice about their plan, though, if they had known Beel would attack them with the entire stall itself. 😰

Poor tiny!MC, by some miracle, barely got out of the way of the wooden structure crashing down on top of their attackers as if dropped by the heavens in a fit of rage... Those not crushed under the wreckage got squashed under Beel's fists...

In the aftermath, Beel was barely recognizable when he picked them back up, holding his bitty human so close that they might have suffocated against his chest. Even the stall's very upset owner just backed away from him after getting a ferocious snarl…

It took him a couple hours to calm back down… Then a couple hundred apologies to Lucifer who has to foot the bill for that guy's ruined livelihood… But hey, no one would ever be dumb enough to touch his tiny!MC again. 

Belphegor

Heeeey! Picking on tiny!MC is his thing! Like he’s going to let anyone else give them any grief…

Belphie likes to hide on the roof of RAD sometimes to take a midday nap so he thought it would be funny to hide tiny!MC from the others by taking them with him one afternoon. Both were peacefully napping when a lesser demon apparently had the same idea and found them.

Belphie woke up when he heard their distressed cries and saw the demon trying to carry tiny!MC away... Oh, he wasn't having that.

Belphie shot up and snapped the scumbag's wrist to get tiny!MC free before he effortlessly sent him flying over the edge in one fell swoop. Give this to the Avatar of Sloth, when he does get moving he’s pretty efficient.

The demon's fall got cushioned by a grove of trees below, which earned Belphie a slightly less severe lecture from Lucifer. He did, however, get a pretty rough one from Satan anyway because he took the MC like that in the first place…

Beel took custody of tiny!MC yet again but even he was grateful to his twin for protecting their little human. Tiny!MC noticed Belphie started sleeping a little lighter when he knew they were around, but he'd deny that any supposed “guilt” had anything to do with it… Whatever he says, I guess. 🙄

[quietmyfearswith]

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 2/3

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 2/3

status — ongoing series

warnings — name-calling, hint at alcoholism, attempt at angst

word count (without the lyrics) — 1,904 words

a/n — so this is for @baezen’s the other guys writing challenge and my prompt was alcohol is the only constant in my life; tho in this one i didn’t mention it i like to think i was able to reflect the prompt.this is based on narcissist by no rome ,, listen to the song here if u want ,, feedback is appreciated and hope u guys have a lovely day !! :> y/f/n = your full name

masterlist | series masterlist

Stay out late, I just wanna get stoned

Telling all your friends that I'm never at home

And my face filling up with blood

But you're still saying they don't like your bourgeois

Surprisingly, the meeting with the representative from Eichner Enterprise went well. 

The rest of the day seemed like a blur to Carter that is until he came back at 2:00 in the afternoon after having his lunch. “You have a 2:45 pm appointment at this address,” Y/N informed him as she prevented him from entering his office. Carter looked down on the piece of paper she held and looked at her oddly as he looked up at her — she never informed him this late of having a prior appointment with anyone.

“And I’m only hearing about this now because?” Carter might have sounded rude and discourteous, but in his defense he was simply mirroring the cold tone his assistant used on him. Which, thinking about it now, was not the best way to repay her for her efforts in keeping the company together, and if he was being honest, she was the glue that prevented him from crumbling down and giving in to his negative thoughts and going insane.

Y/N wasn’t fazed or didn’t flinch upon his reply and instead put a hand on her hip, “They suddenly became available and this is an appointment you were looking out for a while now.” He nodded, only then realizing how she was able to organize and plan ahead most, if not all, of his errands. “After this what’ll my day look like?”

Walking away from standing in front of him, she was now heading back to her desk to complete her work but she informed him, “You’re free to go after you meet up with that appointment.”

He nodded and debated about whether or not he should apologize for what he had said earlier. Deciding against it, he went inside his office to quickly retrieve his car keys and other items. As he brushed past her work desk, he muttered a simple goodbye to which she just curtly nodded as she typed away on her desktop.

The drive towards his destination was filled with his denial of his current state of being. He kept convincing himself that truly, there was no problem with how he was living his life and that there was no reason for him to be alarmed, right? Upon arriving at the address, Carter’s confusion increased. He was standing in front of what looked like to be a residential building. 

Walking in front of the entrance, he noticed how the building seemed to be the location of some services — some doctor, lawyer, legal advice. He shrugged off his doubts and trusted Y/N’s words that he had an appointment here that he was putting off for some time. The lack of elevators in the premise prompted him to take on the two flights of stairs in order to reach room 207.

Knocking on the door, he heard someone give him permission to enter. A female receptionist immediately greeted him warmly, “Welcome, do you have an appointment?” Carter scratched his neck and looked around, trying to get a hint of what kind of appointment he was going to have. “Yeah, I believe a 2:45 appointment,” he replied meekly, which was unusual for him to sound like for he always needs to sound confident.

 As she nodded, her auburn wavy hair moved along with her and quickly typed on her computer, “Dr. Richards will see you know, it’s the door to your left.” She pointed at the door to which Carter followed his gaze at and mumbled a soft, “What?” to. 

Not sure what came over him, he did follow where the receptionist pointed to and found himself knocking on the door. “Hello, Mr. Baizen, come in and make yourself comfortable.” A woman kindly welcomed him as she opened the door and directed him to sit on the couch near a coffee table.

Once he sat down, the lady with salt and pepper hair immediately began to strike up a conversation, “So, how are you today, Mr. Baizen?” As she sat down on the opposite side of the coffee table, Carter noticed how she had a clipboard on her lap as she held a ballpen on one of her hands.

“Honestly? Confused. I don’t know why I’m here, my assistant just told me this was an appointment I’ve been holding back on,” he blurt out as he started to feel that his long sleeves were too tight on him, which prompted him to unclasp the top button as he settles both his hands on the arm rests of the couch.

The woman nodded and smiled warmly, “Y/N has been telling me for months how much she worried about your well-being. And that she was trying her best to convince you to see a therapist even though,” she was quickly cut off when Carter questioned, “Y/N? Therapist? What the hell are you talking about?”

Dr. Richards was silent for a few seconds, and Carter was waiting for her to admit that she was pulling his leg and that she really was a businesswoman who was interested to work with him. However, she was just really trying to piece together what was going on. 

“Y/F/N is one of my patients, and I am her psychologist. You know her as your assistant, yes?” She began her explanation, Carter nodded in confirmation and as a cue for her to continue, “One of the things she usually talks about during our sessions is her worry for your well-being. That you might be abusing certain substances as a coping mechanism. She told me how she desired for you to meet up with me, in order to address your issues and other possible problems.”

After hearing her explanation, Carter found himself with his mouth wide open in shock and disbelief. He didn’t think how serious Y/N really was when she said that she was concerned about him. That she would go out of her way to clear his schedule and book an appointment for him, it made him feel something that was weird and something he hadn't felt before — he just couldn’t name what it was.

“Well I’m here now so how does this work?” he managed to say as he shrugged his shoulders. Dr. Richards smiled in surprise and appreciation, in her point of view, it looked like he was willing to comply and cooperate with her. “Let’s start with you recalling your earliest memories with alcohol.”

Coughing up the promethazine

Living like an evergreen

Sorry for the things that I've done

Now Selena won't be friends with me

I was kissing Emily

I love you, it was never your fault

(Got me like)

Nursing a scotch, Carter laughed quietly as he recalled the events of earlier. 

He could not believe how he immediately opened up to Dr. Richards. How he told her that his father introduced him to alcohol at an early age and he saw it as their way of bonding. How he picked up on his father’s habits of turning to alcohol when they felt upset, confused, sad, or if he felt any emotion really. On how he fears he might turn up like him or worse. How he wants to continue to be successful in his business ventures.

Part of him is thankful for the appointment Y/N set up; it allowed him to be vulnerable and open up to someone who listened to him without judgement or careless replies. But the bigger part of him felt angry with her. Why did she think that he needed professional help or some shit?

A girl flirted with him earlier, to which he of course flirted back with. He suggested that they go back to his place to which she agreed but first she had to tell her friends about where she was going. Finishing up his scotch, he dropped a few bills on the counter, while another girl approached him.

In his distracted and preoccupied state, he asked, “You ready to go take this to the bedroom?” The girl looked taken aback, she had yet to mutter a word and yet he was already asking her to go home? Seemed like a win for her either way. She nodded and looped her arm around his and he guided her to where he parked her car.

The following morning, Y/N knocked on the bedroom door and hearing groans was her usual cue to enter the room. “Oh God, you didn’t mention you had someone with you.” She exclaimed as she avoided looking at the bed where Carter laid with his female companion and instead made a beeline to his closet to pick out his outfit.

“Selena, babe, you need to leave now,” Carter sweetly cooed to the woman beside him which was a contrast to what he wanted her to do. The girl shot up and slapped him, “Dick! My name’s Emily not Selena!” The slap added to his headache but he was relieved to see her wear her clothes from the previous night and hastily make her way out of the suite.

Carter removed the duvet from his body and stood up and walked to where Y/N was, he leaned against the wall, “You know I’m still mad about how you deceived me yesterday.” On cue, he was handed his outfit for the day as his assistant brushed past him, “And how exactly did I deceive you? I said that it was an appointment you were holding off on which is true because you scoff at the mere mention of help.”

He threw his clothes to the side and angrily snapped at her, “And what makes you think I need help huh? So what if I drink every now and then? Don’t think that equates to me having a problem!” She rolled her eyes and pointed a finger at him, “That right there is a problem! Your denial! You deny the idea that there’s a problem with how you always need alcohol! Not want, need. You deny the help I give you! You know what Dr. Richards told me following your appointment? She said that when you left you seemed a hundred pounds lighter!”

Carter’s jaw clenched and he looked cold, but he was just really trying to organize his thoughts and prevent himself from lashing out on Y/N. “I care for you, Carter,” she softly said as she was brushing her hand up and down his forearm, “I don’t want to see you lose everything you worked hard for. Or even worse, see you lose yourself.” 

His heart twisted upon hearing her say that. He never had someone genuinely care about him and go the extra mile in proving so. But there was something about the unfamiliarity with the situation that made him resort back to denying this kind of comfort and care. “You’re suspended from your duties for 2 weeks.”

She looked at him in disbelief at what he said, and if he was being honest he too was surprised with what he just told her. But there was no turning back now, was there? Her look of disbelief was only visible for a brief moment before she looked at him pointedly, “Fine. I’ll forward your schedule to Melissa and the other files you need.”

The sound of her heels clicking away made him look at her retreating form, he found himself following behind her with small and slow steps. Before she exited his bedroom, he gave her one last look as she bid farewell to him by saying, “I’m not sorry about what I did. Alcohol’s not the only thing that can be there for you, I’m always here for you, Carter. But I guess that’s not what you want.”

[shirewalker]

nikolina, matthew & diana and galavant & isabella 😊

omg three!! :D

Nikolina:

Who starts putting up decorations in October? Surprisingly, it’s Alina. Everyone would expect it to be Nikolai, but nope, it’s her. The moment decorations are up for sale, Nikolai frees a whole day to go decoration hunting with her so Alina can do her magic and transform the whole house. 

Who buys the advent calendars? Nikolai. It’s his first gift to Alina. He always makes one in his workshop while she’s out and about. The look of wonder in her eyes is the only reward he cares about. Not that he doesn’t appreciate the kisses she always gives him upon seeing the calendar ;)

Who places mistletoe all around the house? Ohohoh, this isn’t even up for debate. It’s Nikolai. This lovesick nerd will NOT miss such a classic kiss-opportunity-maker duh. Alina rolls her eyes and pretends she doesn’t like it, but she sure gets caught under mistletoes a lot of time hmm. There’s one atop their bed as well ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Who wraps the presents for other people? Nikolai. He’s come up with a trick that both makes it fun and faster to wrap all the presents. Alina makes the wrapping paper (her own funky patterns that Nikolai loves to save a square of every single year) and he takes care of the wrapping. He’s a wrapping presents master.

Who puts the final star/angel on the top of the Christmas tree? The two. There’s a step for tiny Alina and then, as soon as she’s in place, they both put it up there. Ironically, it’s a fox. It always ends with Nikolai sweeping Alina off her feet and taking her to the nearest sofa so they can appreciate their hard work from its fluffy comfort.

Who’s the one that hates eggnog? Probably Alina. Though she probably doesn’t hate it. She just might have had a bad experience where she had too many and now she can only handle a sip once in a while.

Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? Alina. She’s the resident baker and Saints help Nikolai if he so much as looks too long at the batter. There’s not a year where at least one batch ends up with them covered in cookie batter because Nikolai just can’t resist going for a dip.

Who sends out the Christmas cards? Nikolai and Alina always switch this task. Sometimes it’s a matter of being in the mood, other times it’s time or who wrote less cards and thus has to send them. Alina always gets one from Nikolai, even if she’s made sure he hadn’t sent out any. It’s always super cheesy but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love them. She even has a box just for his cards.

Who knows all the words to twelve days of Christmas? Nikolai. Tho his singing is still off-key. Whether it’s on purpose or not, Alina can’t ever be sure. 

Who’s the better snowman builder? Nikolai. It’s his Thing™

Who starts snowball fights? Nikolai as well. He just can’t resist pushing Alina’s buttons. Little does he know that the next time he’s napping on the porch or distracted in his workshop he’ll be dunked with a bucket of snow. Every. Single. Time.

Who’s the one that wakes the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly? Alina. Nikolai attacks her with mistletoe and snowball fights? She fights back by waking him super early on Christmas morning. He doesn’t hate it that much, but he will make her pay (ie: snogging by the tree happens every time)

Who has the ugliest Christmas sweater? Nikolai. Made by Alina during that One Time™ she tried knitting. It’s really ugly but he refuses to let it go. He says it’s a masterpiece and it brings out his eyes (it does, amazingly enough he looks amazing in it)

Who still writes from Santa on the gifts? No one really knows. Alina writes in the gifts for Genya’s kids but the ones she gets? She has yet to catch Nikolai doing it, so she can’t be sure it’s him. (It is Nikolai)

Matthew x Diana:

Who starts putting up decorations in October? Diana. It’s just such a magical time she cannot resist the pull to put up those decorations. (Basically, the day she takes out the Halloween stuff is also the day she puts up the Christmas stuff)

Who buys the advent calendars? Matthew. He always goes out of his way to find the most unusual vintage advent calendar. One time he accidentally got one that was charmed to grant wishes depending on its mood (the wishes were tiny ones ofc)

Who places mistletoe all around the house? Diana does it. She loves catching Matthew unaware while he’s walking through the halls, his nose in the latest book that caught his interest. Sometimes his nose is in his research too. Doesn’t matter, Diana’s special mistletoe always keeps him in place until she can come collect her prize.

Who wraps the presents for other people? Diana. One time she found a cute spell to wrap presents and she can’t get enough of it. Sarah and Em always get double wrapped presents because of that.

Who puts the final star/angel on the top of the Christmas tree? Matthew. He puts it there with such an ease and grace, Diana can’t get too mad at him for snatching the thing out of her hand, that grin wins her over.

Who’s the one that hates eggnog? Matthew. He simply can’t stand it.

Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? Diana. She calls Em for ideas and then spends the whole afternoon of Sunday baking cookies of all kinds. She only uses magic here to collect the ingredients, she loves getting dirty.

Who sends out the Christmas cards? Since they write them together, they also send them together. Any excuse to take a walk in the wintry streets together.

Who knows all the words to twelve days of Christmas? Matthew. He was there when it was born. He might have made a couple of suggestions. Diana still has to drill that information out of him.

Who’s the better snowman builder? Neither. They suck at it. Doesn’t mean they don’t try every snow day ;)

Who starts snowball fights? Diana. She’s always trying to perfect a spell to catch Matthew with his guard down. 

Who’s the one that wakes the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly? Diana. Especially after Matthew groaned in agony the moment they walked into a café and All I Want For Christmas started playing. Matthew doesn’t complain that much, her laughter is the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

Who has the ugliest Christmas sweater? Matthew owns it but it’s Diana who wears it, all day long throughout Christmas Even and Christmas Day.

Who still writes from Santa on the gifts? Matthew. He has the best penmanship ever.

Galavant x Isabella:

Who starts putting up decorations in October? Galavant. Isabella prefers to do it on the 1st of December but Galavant always does it sooner. Every year, it’s a day sooner. She doesn’t fight it anymore. In fact, she now races him to see who puts up the first decoration.

Who buys the advent calendars? Isabella. She’s a sucker for those things, much to Galavant’s surprise.

Who places mistletoe all around the house? Neither. It’s actually Sid in this case. They always complain but you don’t see either walking away from a kiss, do ya?

Who wraps the presents for other people? Galavant always tries his best but his wrapping skills are only good when it comes to ribbons and stuff. So Isabella does the ground work and he does the flourishes.

Who puts the final star/angel on the top of the Christmas tree? Galavant picks Isabella up and she puts it up there. It’s never a thing that happens at first try tho.

Who’s the one that hates eggnog? Isabella is suspicious of it ever since someone from her family tricked her into tasting one with high levels of alcohol. It tasted horribly and now the only eggnog she has is the one she makes herself. Which is like a super rare thing.

Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? Both, even if the cookies aren’t that outstanding, it’s the partnership that matters.

Who sends out the Christmas cards? Isabella. Galavant always forgets them until the 23rd but thankfully Isabella took care of them earlier.

Who knows all the words to twelve days of Christmas? Galavant. Isabella can’t stand the song anymore, not that it stops him from singing it when bathing.

Who’s the better snowman builder? Galavant taught Isabella but she quickly surpasses him in skill. Her snowmen are the best in all the neighbourhood.

Who starts snowball fights? Isabella. Galavant is out there practising with his sword when there’s SNOW ALL AROUND!! HOW DARE HE NOT PLAY IN IT??? She loves snow a LOT, much to everyone’s surprise.

Who’s the one that wakes the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly? Galavant. And he sings loudly as well.

Who has the ugliest Christmas sweater? They have matching ugly sweaters.

Who still writes from Santa on the gifts? Isabella. Galavant firmly believes in Santa so Isabella makes sure to keep this little flame alight.

send me a ship for some xmas headcanons

[fordarkisthesuede]

At the Brink of Midnight - Prologue & Chapter 1

Category:  M/M

Rating:  M (subject to change)

Fandoms:  Batman: the Telltale Series, Batman - All Media Types

Summary:

When Bruce receives a distressing call from the institutionalized John Doe, the billionaire-philanthropist is thrust back into the darker side of Arkham Asylum, where his strive for the facility's improvements are null when faced with a new threat from the inside. Bruce swore off Batman after seeing what it did to those he loved - will he have to put the cowl back on to save the day? Or can he do it as Bruce Wayne? 

<Next> <All>

(read on Ao3 or continue below cut:)

Prologue

[You have:  (ONE) new message. First message: ]

Bruce! Buddy! Uh, it's me, John. I-I know you're busy - it's why you haven't come to see me in the past two weeks, probably.

Look, it's-it's okay, Bruce. I get it. It’s water under the bridge…okay? It has to be, because I... I need your help, Bruce.

Please... I need you to trust me on this.

BAM.

I don't have to time to explain-

"Damn it, ram the door!"

Dang it - Crane, Bruce, Jonathan Crane! I thought it was just the meds they put me on at first, but -

CRASH .

Gotta go.

[End of message. There are no more messages.]

Chapter 1:  The Sign Forward

Important Spoiler Warning:  use of slur - f*g (mentioned)

Bruce pulled the phone away from his ear, barely feeling the weight in his palm. The people walking down the hall - past him, towards him, down the corner - seemed to be moving at a snail's pace. There should be sound, from the footsteps on the tile and voices and doors swinging open somewhere, but it was like there was nothing at all in the world but Bruce's breathing and the whispering echo of John's voice in his ear, so close and yet so far away.

The transformation of John's voice from nervous to hurt to rushed and desperate chilled him in the same manner Bruce might discover a body floating in the Gotham River.

His phone buzzed, a reminder for the meeting he had in ten minutes sitting above the display for his voicemail, and sound came rushing back all at once.

The message had lasted thirty seconds, from an unsaved number that Bruce had a feeling registered to the old landline in the hallway of John's floor at Arkham. The echo of the bangs and crashes were probably from the orderlies trying to open the hallway door, which miraculously had gotten stuck - John probably locked it, probably caused a distraction in another room to get their attention for the precious seconds he had to dial and pass the message along, tell him to come help...

Bruce felt heat burn his stomach. He should have picked up when it rang, damn the fact that he'd been in the lavatory and damn the way it looked so like the auto-dialing spam he'd been getting for the past few months. He could have picked it up on the second ring, saved Joker some time -

No. Not Joker. John.

Joker was the vigilante, the persona hung up for good like the bat-cowl of the person he was modeled after.

Bruce felt a light pang in his side where the latest scar sat, a twinge that seemed to come and go at odd intervals. There he was, thinking about John like they were still working together in the cover of that warm night several months ago, where things had gone from good to bad to absolutely terrible, where Bruce had decided that the crusade had to stop. Their partnership had been like a dream, too fast and too short, a taste of something that, with time, could've been wondrous.

It was nothing more than a dream of a dream, now. Batman was retired, Joker with him, and now the both of them were trying desperately to get back to a normal life. John's would just take longer. A lot longer.

The air in the hall seemed stifling all of the sudden. Bruce walked as quickly as he could to his office, tempted to break into a run.

The office was cool and bright, but even as he shut the door behind him and let the air conditioning wash over him, the guilt and anger and worry that bubbled under his skin didn't fade. His eyes automatically went to the chessboard - one moved piece and he could just fire up Lucius' old computer, slip right back into the old ways and try and get one of Tiffany's drones over the asylum as he dug into Arkham's files...

Bruce shook his head.

John needed his help. It just couldn't be Batman that helped him. Bruce was an ordinary civilian now - well, a civilian with more money than was sensible and an unusual drive to fix the city's problems in any way he could, but a civilian nonetheless. He could still look into Arkham, into this Johnathan Crane, before things escalated out of hand.

Bruce tried to concentrate on his breathing. John was intelligent and surprisingly strong; even if he was put into isolation as punishment, John would be alright. He hadn't been hurting himself or causing trouble for a couple of months, anyhow...

Bruce paused, staring at the vent on the ceiling. He had tried to see John every Wednesday at the very least, but two weeks ago he was told that John didn't want any visitors, and Bruce had regretfully let it slide, thinking that their argument a few days prior still weighed on his mind. (It wasn’t improbable, what with his tendency to hold grudges, but it had seemed strange.) Last week John had twice been put under observation for some kind of medical testing, and thus was not allowed to be seen under any circumstances, despite the drastically different times Bruce had shown up.

Each time, though, Bruce was under the impression that John would at least be told about his attempted visits. The young doctor-in-training from last time had given him a sympathetic smile and said as much herself, along with a clumsy attempt at flirtation Bruce had played along with for his image's sake.

The thought that John had been left hurt worse than before because of a misunderstanding like that didn't sit well with Bruce. It made him feel like he’d been hit with a burning punch.

His phone buzzed at him, and Bruce glanced down at the calendar notification with annoyance. It was tempting to blow the meeting off, just make up some excuse and head home so he could start digging as much as his civilian identity would allow, maybe make a phone call to Arkham and see if he could get a word out to John under the guise of looking into the progress on the asylum's improvements he was sponsoring.

He breathed deeply, going back into the hall and telling himself that John would be alright for a little while longer - Wayne Enterprises came first in the day, regardless of whether or not a cowl was involved.

Bruce apologized for his tardiness and sat at the too-long table with the rest of the board, his phone practically burning a hole in his pocket as he tried desperately not to think about flipping the table and running out the door like he was giving chase in amongst the humid smog of Gotham's nights.

As per John's voicemail (which Bruce thought he must have listened to half a dozen times), any spare moment Bruce had at Wayne Tower was spent looking up Jonathan Crane. There was no telling who was trying to keep tabs on his phone, so he resorted to double-hopping on his VPN in a private window.

There were a few Jonathan Cranes in the state, spelling considerations included, but only two stood out - one was several cities away, working as the head of a generic-replacement pharmaceutical company, and the other was working right in Gotham, a former professor of psychology at Gotham University who was added on to the Arkham payroll not long after the incident with Lady Arkham.

While the pharmacist had several photos on the company website and a seemingly normal (if seldom used) Friendbook page and several mentions on the company's Chirper, Professor Crane had no social media accounts whatsoever and only two photos, one of which was a tiny faculty photo obviously used on his university I.D. However, he did have several published articles in psychology journals, the last three dealing with the subjects of treating fear and anxiety and how it manifested, the last two of which had rebuttal articles from other doctors listed.

At least some of his courses were listed on RateTheProf, and while many of the higher-rating students listed him as incredibly knowledgeable, they and the lower-rating students warned about his seemingly abrasive personality from over the years:

(*) queenofdiamonds

creepy know-it-all fag kept giving me ds and didn't allow me to do the extra credit!! he likes ds so much??? he can eat my DICK!!!!

(***) vintage-or-die

I swear his office hours are ridiculously tight. Make sure to arrive to class on time and take REALLY good notes - I missed a day I regretted it ever since, he gets the point across so well that the only way you can really copy it down for yourself is to hear it firsthand... Seriously, record the lectures if you suck at writing, it'll save your life.

(*) BigD@ddyy

Fucker put down my final paper so hard i think it broke my ribs. He thinks he knows everything, he doesn't take two words against anything he talks about. I don't know why GU keeps his emotionless scrawny ass.

(****) itty bitty pumpkin pie

Great teacher, but not very personable; he doesn't talk much out of lectures. Make sure to ask before using your phone to record lectures, he'll kick you out if you don't. Also I SWEAR he uses a cell blocker, I can't get any tower or wifi signal in his classes even if we change rooms...

(****) dank memes only

He kicked me out for taking a picture of him once. He's lucky he's such a smart silver fox or I might have quit right there. Learned loads tho.

(*****) dr. psychosubb

Amazing. He gave me a C on my final but his comments on it were so good I can't be mad, I learned so much!! Also if you like hot stern daddys that's a big plus. Hard to hate a face like that!!

(*****) the-night-falls-hard

Seriously the best teacher I ever had. Pay attention and you'll feel like you could take on anything.

Bruce breathed through his nostrils. Professor Crane was critical, solitary, and stubborn, but he clearly left an impression on those who he came into contact with.

While there wasn't many mentions of the professor in news, he managed to find a letter to the editor in the last psychology journal that Professor Crane contributed an article to, aimed at the rebuttal to his last paper - and Bruce figured by the language that it was Crane lashing back:

My Dear Editors,

I'm surprised that such an acclaimed journal of psychology would sink so low as to publish the distasteful words of the so-called Dr. Strange. His work - if you can even call it that - is pure fantastical speculation when it is organized enough to be decipherable. Not only does he genuinely believe in the concept of telepathy, but he is under the childish delusion that he can devise a way to see thoughts put into visual form as if it were something to be filmed. Tell me:  do you think someone with such an obvious deficiency of realistic thought could provide any kind of counter-argument to any sane research? I don't believe he's sound enough to comment correctly on the weather.

If you continue on with publishing the work of people who earned their doctorates by shelling out thousands of dollars to a fly-by-night online institution, you will lose more than just subscribers with half a brain more than you.

Regards,

A Competent Doctor

Bruce read over the last paragraph twice:  it could be read as either a warning or a legitimate threat, and it was impossible to tell which one it was without even knowing what it was that John suspected Crane of doing. But considering the rebuttal in question was published over a year ago and the editor at the time was still in alive and in charge, at least Bruce could say that Crane didn't have that murder in mind. Dr. Strange, however, had no other work published since, either in Psychology Now or any other reputable magazine.

Naturally, he could find nothing on the current work of the former-Professor Crane in Arkham. That would require a hack of the asylum's systems, and even though Bruce knew Tiffany would be up to the task, he decided against it. He knew it would tempt him to go back to his old habits, and that was strictly a no-go.

He'd have to pay Arkham a visit, see what he could figure out from the inside - and hopefully, talk to John.

A/N:  Here we are, just as I promised! I got super into TellTale’s Batman universe last year, and like many fans, S2E05 hurt so bad and so so good that I immediately wanted more. Before I knew it I was already crafting a potential season 3 storyline! I’ll try to update this weekly, since I already have a lot done and I can’t stop thinking about it! (ღ✪ｖ✪)｡o○

Also I seriously try to put any trigger/squick warnings in the front of chapters. If you need something tagged, please say so!

If you’d like to give kudos or comment (or just read all the story’s tags), my ao3 is here, but I really appreciate feedback in any form! 

[snaggle-chamsae]

Winning your heart | Woojin

genre: fluff

member: woojin (+ other members)

requested: yes!

summary: you entered wanna one’s dance contest, not knowing that you’re in for the big prize. 

side note: thank you so much for requesting this anon 💓 i had fun writing this and i hope you’ll have fun reading this too :> I’m sorry if this is a little boring tho! hopefully this meets your expectations :>

- in this world, dance is the only thing you know 

- it means the whole universe to you 

- other than that, nothing else is important to you 

- you don’t give two shits about school

- you attend classes as usual and you only complete your homework whenever you have time 

- and you could still miraculously pass your subjects 

- people often wonder how you could do it 

- anyways,,,

- you spend most of your day dancing, like you would go straight to the dance room after class and the moment you stepped in, you would usually lose track of time until the guard says they are closing

- simply because dancing is a stress reliever for you

- your parents aren’t at home most of the time and this means you can’t tell them some of your problems

- they would only bother telling you what did they did at work and it is always all about them 

- whereas for your friends, they are more like classmates to you where you guys only talked about school stuff

- other than that, you’re pretty much alone

- handling all the problems you had by yourself 

- thus, dancing is the only thing you could turn to 

- all the more, no one criticizes you when you’re in the dance room which makes you feel like you’re in an alternate universe 

- since you have been dancing for years, but you have never actually showcase your skills 

- every time you walk past those huge companies like JYP and Bighit, you always wonder what it is like to have your skills recognized for once 

- you find yourself smiling back at yourself because you know the dance industry in Korea is just hell crazy and competitive 

- and your skills are probably only 40% of what others have??

- so one day while you are walking back home, this middle-aged man was giving out flyers along the streets near the companies

- without thinking much, you took it and the caption made you stopped walking 

- “wanna one dance contest”

- you’re the biggest fan of wanna one and looking at the prize makes you wanna scream 

- “the winner of this contest will get to meet wanna one personally and take a photo with them” 

- knowing how busy their schedule is and hosting this contest is like a total miracle 

- you immediately told yourself to sign up but as you continue walking home, you started contemplating whether you should or not

- you know how many fans that wanna one has and probably the number of people signing up would be thousands???

- you sighed to yourself because what are the chances of being the chosen one 

- nonetheless, you decided to sign up and try your luck lol 

- you started preparing your dance routine and decided to choose their recent title track, beautiful 

- you’re guessing that most people would do like pop songs but you wanted to be different so you went ahead with your decision

- time skip to the day of the contest 

- as expected, tons of people came and a wave of nervousness just hits you 

- this is your first time attending a dance contest and being nervous is a natural reaction

- so you went to collect your tag and waited at the designated area

- everyone is seated in rows and each row consists about 10 people

- and each row will take turns to go into the room 

- as you’re waiting for your turn, you plugged in and mentally rehearse your steps before you go in 

- and after waiting for 3 hours, it is finally your row’s turn

- you have never prayed so hard to not let this contest fail 

- you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of anyone

- and thankfully you are standing almost at the end of the row, allowing yourself to be more prepared 

- once you entered the room, you could literally feel your heart skipping because wanna one is IN HEREE

- you’re freaking out because they didn’t say wanna one will be one of the judges and you’re like??? hold up man i’m not prepared for this 

- it is almost impossible not to be distracted by their handsome looks

- and you didn’t realize it is your turn soon

- because all the other dancers that was in front of you, they didn’t get to perform half of their song and they were cut off 

- you’re pretty much surprised at how strict they are even though this is just contest

- you’re shaking but you tried to stay calm 

- finally your turn came and you introduced yourself to the 11 of them 

- once again, you tried your best to maintain your composure as park woojin, your bias is staring back at you 

- “please show what you have prepared today.” with that, you started dancing 

- you changed your gaze according to the song and danced like how you did in practice 

- apart from beautiful, you added a little dance break to give the song a twist 

- surprisingly, they didn’t cut off your song and you heard them said that you gave them goosebumps and your moves are really elegant 

- does this even make sense??? me giving wanna one goosebumps 

- more like wanna one gives me goosebumps

- anyways you thanked them and got out 

- there aren’t many people left as everyone was kinda busy complaining that they didn’t get to show what they prepared 

- and just before you leave, one of the staff stopped you 

- you thought there are some issues with your application form or something but it turns out to be something even better

- she said that wanna one wants to see me 

- and you’re like “are you sure? me?” 

- so you followed her and went back to the same room 

- despite seeing the 11 of them just 15 minutes ago, your heart is still skipping LIKE MAD

- 11 handsome guys staring at you is just too much to handle 

- so apparently, they told you that you won the contest because they think you’re the best out of the rest 

- “even though you did our song, but you gave a new feeling to it and we love it so much” jisung said 

- “I NEVER HAD SO MUCH GOOSEBUMPS WHILE watching someone dance before” daniel laughed 

- “we enjoyed your performance a lot y/n!” jinyoung clapped and smiled 

- “shall we take a photo together?” jisung suggested 

- as they are approaching you, you could gradually feel your soul leaving because ASFGKNERKNRE wanna one is just right beside you 

- you took a couple of photos and eventually, the staff had to ask you to leave 

- you didn't want to leave but you know you have to 

- right before you leave, you felt someone grabbing your wrist and pulling you away from the door 

- when you turned around, you meet a pair of charming and captivating eyes

- it is none other than, park woojin

- that’s the exact reason why you love woojin because he’s really charismatic when you looked at him

- without doing anything, his gaze alone has already made your heart beat even faster 

- “h-hey y/n.” and you have never expected your favorite member to even say your name 

- “I think we should give them some space” seongwoo chuckled

- “YA PARKWOOJIN YOU BETTER NOT DO ANYTHING FUNNY” daniel added

- you blushed at their words and the fact that woojin in right in front of you isn’t helping

- “you’re such a good dancer in my eyes so iwaswonderingifyoucouldgivemeyournumber?” 

- you laughed at how he got so shy towards the end and you couldn’t resist but to say yes

- “i thought to myself that i would regret if i let you go like this so i had to call you back” woojin shyly confessed 

- “now that i got your number, see you at the next dance practice!” he winked at you while he walks away, leaving you standing there 

- “ne-next dance practice? that means i will see you again?” you questioned

- you got your answer as he flashed his usual charming smile with that snaggletooth popping out 

- you just realized you got the real big prize here

- not only winning the contest, but also winning woojin's heart 

feel free to leave comments in my ask or drop any random messages :> 

[authenticaussie]

Izou and Thatch for the pairing ask.

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter

Ooooo okay okay so like??? The thought of Izo as a hunter is really really cool but also it’s r EALLY REALLY FUNNY to imagine him being a werewolf and being SO MAD ABOUT IT. Because he sheds!!!! everywhere!!!! Every goddamn where!!! And the amount of clothes he’s ruined by accidentally shifting?! It drives him Crazy. Ofc tho to pass off his obsession w/ the moon is pretty simply - most people think that he’s eccentric, and saying that he’s “charting the planetary flow” and spouting over mumbo jumbo really easily deflects why he actually keeps an eye on it. I can totally see him having this nice apartment w/ pot plants on a balcony and EVERY SINGLE FUCKING FULL MOON, HE KILLS THEM, BC HIS WOLF!SELF IS LIKE, “GOTTA MARK MY TERRITORY”. No-one ever lets him take care of plants. Ever.  

And Thatch???? Thatch isn’t even a hunter. He’s the person who got called bc Izo’s apartment isn’t allowed pets and someone complained that Izo had this big dog and Izo’s like my good sir no I do Not, you can very obviously see I do not have space for a dog, and regardless, I hate dogs. They shed and break your stuff and I swear to god if I get humped by one one more time I am going to learn how to levitate. 

And like, Thatch was ??? a hunter?? But he’s….soft. He’s soft and squishy and hates to hurt and the whole “werewolves are totally and utterly evil” thing never ever sat right with him. So he went and got a job with animal control buttttttt…. yeah the training doesn’t leave you. And so he’s like “soooo there are no….special circumstances??? Surrounding your….dog??? Like….when he comes to visit?? During certain times of the month?? Like…at night……??”

“My good sir are you suggesting that I am a vampire???”

“No!!!” Thatch goes, “I’m suggesting you’re a werewolf!!” 

Three seconds later got him like: why did I say that

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman

IZO MAKES THE PRETTIEST MERMAID,,,,,And like, just ??? All decked out in pearls that he found himself and strung together, and they’re so big and pretty and he’s found chunks of crystals and gone diving in ship wrecks and has thousands of dollars worth of jewellery wrapped around his tail that he likes because it’s sparkly and pretty and also surprisingly enough they make pretty good weapons???

Thatch is #wrecked Bc like??? ooo imagine pirate!thatch chasing down rumours of a mermaid, and a mermaid with a tail made of diamonds??? And finding out that his tail isn’t made of diamonds, but fuck they’re just as valuable, anyway, because of the gems – and then later on, not because of the gems, but just because it’s- Izo. And Izo is infinitely more valuable than any stone, because Izo laughs and teases and smiles and is so captivatingly beautiful. 

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar

Izo is the witch!!! Thatch is his faithful familiar. Well, more so faithful helper?? He’s a bit dorky and distracted but also he’d take curses for Izo if that’s what it took. Izo mainly does potions and is a decent witch - not amazing, but decent - and the reason Thatch is considered his familiar is bc when they were young izo tried to brew a “get me a girlfriend” spell for Thatch and it went So Badly and ended up giving him a biologically female body, which he FREAKED OUT about, and in izo’s attempt to fix it he accidentally gave Thatch a whole bunch of animals forms and so!! Thatch can shape-shift a bit xD Only into a couple of animals/objects tho, and only for an hour or two.    

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict

Surprisingly enough, Izo is the coffee addict?? Like, people think it’s Thatch because he’s so hyperactive, all the time, and Izo is constantly perfect that no-one thinks he ever has a time where he doesn’t look 10000% put together, but nope. Thatch has seen Izo in the 6am, when he’s just rolled out of bed and stumbled into Thatch’s cafe and been like give me coffee or death and Thatch is like one death coffee coming up!! And serves like, a triple shot black pffft xD

who’s the professor and who’s the TA

Thaaaaaaaaaaatch!! Thatch is the professor and Izo is the TA!! He’s distracted and loud and bouncy and forgets things constantly but like?? He’s really good at helping people. Students terrified of their thesises have gone to talk to him in a panic, asking to drop the course, and he manages to kick start their ideas and motivation and enjoyment and they walk out babbling to themselves because all of these thoughts! They know exactly what they’re doing! And Izo has never been able to figure it out; he’s given out schedules and colour-coding and he keeps thatch organised and on-time and helps with marking and meetings but- 

Thatch is the one that they flock too when they need it. People leave Izo’s office still looking vaguely worried, but Thatch’s students?? They could conquer the world after a meeting with Thatch. Izo thinks it’s fascinating and amazing and impressive because he’s never been able to do it or figure out how it works and he asks but Thatch just. It’s just Thatch.

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss)

Honestly, interchangeable??????? It’s hard bc like, whitebeard connection is undeniable, so like, why would one be a prince and one be a guard, you feel? But like!!!!!!!!!! Honestly I lean more towards Thatch as the prince!!! He’s not… good at politics, because he’s too honest and truthful, but like..He’s been raised for this, and he knows how to twist people round his finger. They think his optimism is idiocy and someone scatterbrained? He’ll give them scatterbrained, and sneak what he wants right by them. Most of the servants know his particular brand of intelligence, but they keep it to themselves because he’s a good prince, and for all that he can manipulate with the best of them, he really only does it in the interest of others???????????? And Izo, now Izo, you’d think he’d be a bad knight, and you’re right in part of the aspect - he’s not the best sword fighter, or horse-rider, or the best guard, and he can get distracted by people and things and situations, but like, gods above does this man know how to get information. And it’s weird!! It’s weird, because Izo understands people but not in the way Thatch does. He understands guilt and greed and secrecy and bribery and what people will do for others, what he doesn’t understand is- is the things that thatch is proficient in. Like, Izo gets it when people act in a situation he knows. But when they change it? When they don’t act like he expects? He has to find out why. And if there’s no reason bar human fallacy he’s just??????????????? It confuses him so much. He knows what paths will lead to the best outcome and people!! not following that!! what the heck!!! why!!! ???? and thatch is like uhhhhhhhh because they’re unpredicatble and people are weird???

“IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE“

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent

Thatch is the teacher and Izo’s the single parent!! Like I said?? before?? Izo’s not like…amazing with people, he tries, but he always…thinks his way is best?? And doesn’t understand why people don’t do the most efficient thing? That’s hard for him. But Thatch, oh thatch, he’s good-natured and a bit dorky and useless, but he can solve a person faster than Ace can burn down a building. He started off not really getting kids, because, well!!! Kids!! They’re loud and shrieky and their sense of place and self and Science is weird but thatch stopped looking at them like some other species and was like No they’re just Little People. Anyway, he’s basically everyone’s favourite teacher.  

who’s the writer and who’s the editor

Thatch is the writer and Izo is the editor. And like, I can definitely see Thatch as an editor, too, but like?? For structure and flow and being creative and pulling more from a work, and Izo gets really stubborn about it because he’s like no, what you’re suggesting is grammatically incorrect but then Thatch is like yes but it feels. That’s their dynamic even if it’s switched, too pfft. Thatch would write cookbooks but like!! The dorky ones w/ cute stories and pictures and stuff like that. He’d also probably write ??? Poems, I feel?? Whereas Izo would write nonfiction and fantasy, but fantasy ala a quiet, understated fantasy that seeps into every book, and like, you’re not sure you’re meant to understand the book and it’s a weird philosophical classic and you’re just squinting like…uh…okay. Also the one time he and Thatch collaborate they make a jokingly cheesy messy ridiculously out there romance book and it becomes the most popular out of any of their books and they get SO MAD.

[selcouth-eunoia]

The end

Dear Misho, 

it’s me. Believe it or not. Want it or not. I’m writing to you in order to release the thoughts of mine forever and always. Get them, keep them and as you leave again - take them with you. I need to live. 

May 1st 2019. The last time I talked to you. Yet over that year behind us, you kept crushing me all the time. I’m not here to tell you how much I love you and that I want you back. I’m here to let go the past and leave. As you did. 

On 26th April, few days before we talked at last, my mom and my brothers had a serious life-threatening car crash. They are alive. But I went through so much since then. My mom had 4 OPs, my brother 2 and my little brother got away with a mild brain concussion. Since 28th February, we did not have a home. We lived here and there. The house was not ready and we had to move out from the apartment. So not only I had to switch from one hospital to other, not only I had finals at school, not only my dad and I had to sleep on the couch in my aunt’s apartment, but I started work. 

Summer came. Mom got better physically but mentally she was destroyed. So guess what - I became a psychologist. Mostly for myself because I could not help her - I only had a slight possibility to protect myself. And on top of all - you were gone. 

But fortunately, all these struggles are gone now. Mom even got her licence back the other day. Dad and I have a stronger bond since the problems around the car crash and the bad depressed and stressed situation in the summer right after the car crash. My aunt and my uncle are better now - we see each other every week as we used to. I concentrated on school and now I’m working on a project about rabies to present that in an organisation in Heidelberg - where I want to study medicine. 

Most importantly, while you were gone, I learned how to love myself. I haven’t lost all that weight yet, but I love myself the way I am right now. My face is not perfect but nobody’s is. I put a bit make up almost everyday, I workout and try to eat healthy even tho recently I developed binge eating disorder. But I’m recovering. I’ll be fine. 

I love myself for working on myself and for stopping with those depressive thoughts all the time. I try to be happy for no reason and I want my friends and family to be happy too. I found out my parents want to communicate with be but I never give them that chance. I found out that when someone loves himself it does not mean he cannot love anyone else - only then he can obtain enough happiness for himself and the rest of the world. I have a hard time at school and often I think that I won’t make it in medical school but that’s the point of MS - to be hard so you stick to it only if you really want to do it. 

Yes, I’m not writing this to only talk about me here. Back in the days, when I cried rivers for you, tried to find out why I’m annoying you all the time with reading messages but not responding on time or at all or when you made jokes I did not get and I got mad at you. Childish - that’s basically what it was. The real thing was my love to you. I loved you. 

I don’t think that I will forget you ever. I will always remember our digital love story. Or how all these almost 3 years, we never managed to hug in the summer. You disappearing happened to be always in the summer. Chen, Gabcho, your ex, the chinese girl you slept with and God knows whoever else is involved our love story. 

I would like to thank you for saying that girls like Chen are your type when we were at the beginning of our relationship (yes, it wa a relationship to me, idk about you). When you said you are thinking of Gabcho, when you preffered the company of an asian beauty instead of meeting me. When you were holding the hand of a girl less annoying than me instead of texting me. Thank you for causing that pain. Without it, I would not have found myself nowadays.

Thank you for dissapearing multiple times. Thank you for showing mixed signs. Thank you for not truly loving me. Thank you for your harsh and painful words. Thank you for givin up right the way, Thank you for listening when it hurt (when YOU hurt (me)). 

It was painful. Oh God, it was so painful. Loving someone you cannot hold, someone you cannot see, someone you cannot really take care of, someone you cannot kiss wherere it hurts him, hug whenever he’s hurt. Somone you cannot watch an anime with (it’s not that it was a problem for us back then - we’ve done that). Someone you want to spend your life with but haven’t seen for longer than 2 hours. I was jealous of your parents - not only friends or classmates of yours. Not to mention any passing by girl that had the chance to see you. I had an album with over 80 videos and photos of you. I deletet it. All the elements are now somewhere in my 5 year old google photo account. But somehow I clicked on favourite photos few weeks ago and found your pic. And I found other pictures of your graduation I hadn’t saved. I will delete them someday. I’m still in the process of letting you go. I sometimes watch Efo’s streams on twitch just to get a touch from your area. 

I have to admit that I miss you. And that I don’t hate you. But I’m indeed not sure if I still love you. And If I see you someday and have the chance to talk to you - I don’t know what to tell you. 

I have found many mental issues of mine when I was overthinking on what happened with us one year ago or better said - why it did not work between us. 

You never asked about my childhood and I’m glad about that. But I want to release it all so here you go: 

My mom and dad were separated when I was born because my dad always got late and sometimes did not even get home after work. My mom left and went to live with her sister and her husband, my grandma and Presko in Dobrich. She had to go to 3 work places because she did not have money to even buy me a gum. There was a period of time when my mom and I lived with a man named Alexander with his son. He was abusive. I remember when he pulled her in the air holding on her neck. When I was 3 years old, I met my dad and his sisters - I don’t remember these days. I remember playing every day with Presko. Then I remember how my aunt sent me to my grandma in Montana where she got remarried. I had a good time there too. Dad came to see me once again because he wanted to take me with him and go to Cyprus where my mom went after leaving me in Dobrich. I disagreed. But on that day I heard them both fighting about me. My aunt said she does not want me back and my grandma said she can’t take care of myself anymore. I felt guilty. She was tired because of me. So I agreed to go with him. He seemed very lively but at the same time so dark and fake. He showed a very scary part of him and whenever I did something wrong - he showed that dak side. Before that, mom tried to take me in Cyprus with her once but whenever she left me in any kindergarden, I started panicking that she will be gone for a long time once again. A place with strangers not even speaking my language - scary. 

Him and I left but this time we went to Balchik - to meet my other grandma and my aunts. And then his dark side came out. He started beating me. Pictures I don’t want to share. 

My mom came back then and I was still scared she will leave me with him again. It was like hell to me. But soon enough he started beating me in front of her. Sometimes she stood behind me but often she stayed still. There are situations my mom does not even know about. 

I started gaining weight. From a kid with good physical strength because my grandma used to feed me food and let me play a lot outside, I went to a distracted kid that was actually really good at school but was blamed for not being the perfect one. 

Soon enough my brother was born and I was so happy. Even tho so jealous that my mom is not looking at me the way she looked at him. I became the black sheep. 

The we went to Cyprus where I turned 9 and even today nobody wants to admit my skills in learning. I learned greek fast and almost alone, I kept up with the stuff at school even tho we did not do anything new than what I had done in Bulgaria. My dad kept beating me, even started calling me bad names. I constantly kept gaining weight. But fortunately, my physics worked for me - I was tall enough for my age and the weight I was gaining at some point started disappearing. 

Then I went to a bulgarian school at the same time. And the bullying stared. They kicked me, called me names, insulted me, spread lies about me. And then my mom found lice in my hair and since we were poor, we did not have money to buy something to kill them, she had to cut my hair short. The bullying spread in the greek school as well. I barely had friends. No one liked me, my dad was violent, my mom never protected me, I had to do a lot of her household chores, took care of my brothers and never had the chance to play with the kids. I had to study. Books. To translate them. And do chores. And look after my brother. This was the life of a kid between 10 and 12. 

Over the years, things were getting even worse finantially, all my clothes were either given by someone or we found them somewhere. We did not have a proper washing mashine, it was so hot that my parents even slept outside, cockroaches everywhere, mosquios eating us. And my little brother was born so money was missing. 

My mom decided to take my brothers and leave them at one of my dad’s sisters to take care of them and to go to Germany and start a life there so we can go there and start over. So I had to stay with my dad. He was surprisingly less violent. But something else happened... He went sexual. Another situation I don’t want to talk about. 

We managed to leave Cyprus and get back to Bulgaria. While my mom was getting things straight in Germany, my dad, my brothers and I stayed at my aunt. I missed school a lot. I just found friends, kids at school just had started accepting me, bullying started slowly disappearing. And in Bulgaria, dad became violent again. He even started calling me really bad words, blaming me for things that were happening. I was like an absorbend rag. I started hating him, started hating the bullies in Cyprus. I was 12 years old and I carried so much hate and hatred... I was listening to what they used to call me all these years and I hated myself even. I started living in the world of animations, games. It was my comfort. I hated every gilry girl, every potentional bully. I basically did not know how to socialize. 

Dad went to Germany where mom finally found us a place. And it was a wonderful time... My aunt, my uncle and my brothers. Peace. I leanred so much from them, I helped at home too and it was wonderful. But then dad came to pick us up. I did not want to go to no Germany, i did not want to meet no new class mates either learn another language. My stubborn side was gaining strengh. I became an actual tom boy. And guess what - germans were not less bullies than greeks. It even got worse. They used to put things in my bag, called me names, made fun of me. I probably hated myself more than I hated them. Because my acne, my strange hair and weirth oversized clothes were the truth. So instead of working on myself, listening to what they don’t liek and turning into what they want me to be - I concentrated on hating them. Even when a girl came to our class and we became friends. Even if she showed me how to talk to people, how to start looking after myself a bit. It was just not the right time to fully love myself. 

When I was 14, I met that guy I had pseudo sex with. He was my true love. When we were apart, I felt empty. But he was just not my guy. I started looking after myself slowly. I wanted to be fit, so I managed to keep my weight in the healthy zone. And one year later I met you. 

From that point you know what happened. No need to say a thing else. Now you at least know why I was so insecure, why I wanted you to be always there, why I was scared to lose you and why I was always offended and felt attacked. 

These are not excuses. These are the reasons why I was like that. The most important part is - I managed to develop a better self of mine. I accepted my face, my body and what I’m doing now is trying to feel BETTER, not good. Because I already feel good. 

If one day we meet again, I would like to at least have a taste of what we could have been if we have had the chance to be an actual couple. I really want to. 

But I guess there is already someone who has taken that part of your life. So I’m wishing you good luck and lots of love. You deserve it. 

Kind regards, 

Dahling. 

[laptrance]

January 17

hung out with kim today. caught up on stuff that’s going on with her (cki, danny, classes, internships, letters of recc). then kim told me about how tanisha and karl broke up. then i asked her if i could talk to her about this falling out angelica and i are having and she said yes. i told her everything. she was kind of surprised but also not surprised. kim agrees with me tho that she should stop talking to dennis. kim also said that she didn’t really like him cause he wouldn’t say hi to her whenever he saw her, or it would just be very short. i told her about how her and max broke up. kim said she likes max better cause he looked like a guy who would treat a girl right lol. max does. 

anyways, i asked kim to give the letter i wrote to angelica and she agreed. i asked if she could just leave it on her desk or something instead of having it get to riverside, cause that shit’s complicated. kim told me that she’ll tell me when she gives it/when angelica reads it, which is kind of reassuring. 

im preparing for the wrost. im thinking the worst is that angelica will be so mad at the fact that i talked to kim about what’s going on between us and how i asked kim to send the letter that she won’t even read it. or she might read the letter and she’ll still not say anything. or it might be a combination of the two. i dont know how long i’ll wait in order for it to be a no. 

best possible situation i can think of is that she’ll read the letter, contact me to talk about our issues, and she’ll tell me the whole damn truth. then we’ll reach a mutual understanding and our friendship will be restored. 

honestly i am really hoping for the best. kim said that she thinks angelica might wanna talk after reading the letter if she saw that i hand wrote the letter. eh, we’ll see. 

if she doesn’t say anything about dennis if we do have a talk about the letter, then i will just drop her completely. if she’s not going to be truthful about her interactions with dennis, then i honestly can’t be her friend anymore. i want to help her so much with everything that’s going on between the two because he is honestly causing her so much emotional distress. like there’s no point in having a close friendship if she’s going to be so secretive about her and dennis. maybe i should try to tell her that i’ll be supportive of whatever she does so that she won’t feel like she needs to hide her interactions with him. i think that’s the reason why she’s becoming so distant. but idk, if she doesn’t want the help, then i’ll leave her the fuck alone to deal with that shit herself. 

i really feel like saying the moral of this story is fuck dennis, but i can’t say that. there’s something going on with him that i don’t know about unless i ask him. i feel like understanding his side will enlighten me as to why their relationship is so fucking on and off. i might be more at peace with their behaviors too. 

I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHY THIS IS EATING AT ME SO MUCH. WHY CAN’T I JUST MIND MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS????    

since then, i’ve just been deep inside spotify. i made top 10 albums for the years 2006-2015. i also checked out sufjan stevens’ work for call me by your name and tonya harding. it’s really been the only thing distracting enough from all the shit i said above. 

also, im seriously working on my cover letter for the all songs considered internship for summer. i’ve always been so scared to work on the letter because im afraid that i wont get the position again. but this time, since i want to get distracted from all this angelica bullshit, i am really focusing on getting it right as best as i can. all the other times i applied i made stupid mistakes. this time, i’ll get everything right. the email from npr internships encouraging me to apply is surprisingly motivating. 

i made a brainstorm about what ideas i’ll bring to the table, how to write my letter in an engaging yet informative way, and just to motivate myself to actually get it done and get it done right. honestly, i really want to put the work in and get the position. it’ll be such a plus for this year if i do get it.

now in terms of preparing myself to actually fly over and live there for the duration, im applying to food service places to make some money. i wanna be able to work part time in two places so i can use one paycheck for everyday expenses (and paying off loans for part of it) and use another paycheck purely for future DC living expenses. 

if all songs doesn’t work out, not going to lie, im going to be upset, but hopefully not so much if my plan B comes through.

plan B is applying for part time promotion assistant positions for stations like KROQ then applying for a part time position at amoeba. i know amoeba wont be so long, but it would be really cool getting to say i work there for any length of time. hopefully i either climb up the ladder on the promotions assistant job and eventually work full time. if not, then i’ll use the time to apply for other full-time positions. 

somewhere along the way, i want to look for programs that’ll help me gain confidence in my writing skills. tbh college did not help at all. i just know how to write a 5 paragraph essay. i dont know how to convince people of something i want, i dont know how to add spice and variety to a paper. i dont know how to sound like myself in a professional paper. good writing will go a long way.