#getting all of our dirty laundry in the whole house done

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

I’m tired

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #31] The Photo Booth

warnings: THE photoboth chapter!!!! a legend amongst bd readers!!!! we meet jaykays mum (shes the best) and his dad (legend), byeol gets her own back for the 'daddy' debacle, teasing, shameless flirting, a lil dirty talk, jaykay is desperate and whiney (just how we like him!!), precum...swapping?? as much as it can be swapped lmao, jaykay does her glitter ::(((((, a date! between friends!! some would argue!!, photobooths, kissing !!!!, oh god I love them so much, very cute, mmmmmm the way he says goodnight!! or alternatively, the way he doesn't say goodnight!!, our babies are v confused <3 cos they are stewpid <33

wc: 9k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Mum? Dad?" Jeongguk calls into the entryway of his family home, pushing the door further open with his shoulder.

Your bag is hooked over his broad back, along with his own, Jeongguk not even considering it a favour. Just helps you out in little ways whenever he can, just because he can. You do what you can to make his life easier, and so it's reciprocated without a second thought.

Carrying a bunch of fresh flowers that had hastily been picked up from the shop across the street, you're a little nervous. There was no way you could show up empty-handed, but had been so scatterbrained when you left your place, it had completely slipped your mind. They're pretty pink posies and are something - which is always better than nothing, even if they aren't all that impressive.

"Oh, you're here!" A sweet voice calls from the back of the house. The sound of indoor slippers scuff against the wooden floors, as his mother scurries to greet you both. "I thought you'd call when you were on your way!"

"Sorry," he apologises and leans down to let the bags softly tumble to the floor, before outstretching his arm for a hug. "Left in a bit of a rush."

Squeezing his mother gently, his back eclipses her from your view. Hands patting his back, you think you can tell a lot about a person from their hands - and she's no exception.

Well-manicured, his mum clearly looks after herself. She wears just two rings - her wedding band and engagement ring. Gold. The only remaining elements of her wedding jewellery that had survived the '98 gold drive.

"Spent my whole life in that house," Jeongguk had said of his family home on the journey to Busan. He'd been opening up. Telling you tales that you'd have never heard if you had declined his offer. Is clueing you in on the life that formed him. Wants you to know. "They held onto it throughout everything. The financial crisis, turn of the century, everything. I'm lucky. We were never well-off, but they never let me know when we were struggling."

It explains a lot about who Jeongguk is, you think. Never wants others to shoulder his burdens. Keeps things bottled up until the glass shatters - but you can see through glass. You always know.

A modest three-bed, there's something nostalgic about the four walls he calls home. Though you've never been here, it somehow feels familiar - but that's perhaps more so to do with the scent of laundry drying, and the fact that Jeongguk uses the same fabric conditioner as his mother always has done.

Swanning Jeongguk out of the way, his mother greets you with a smile that could stoke warmth in even the coldest of hearts - and suddenly, you understand exactly where Jeongguk gets it from.

Dark, round eyes, and a smile as radiant as a spring day, she's got the kind of delicate nature bestowed upon Disney princesses. If you were to learn she'd been a model in her youth, you wouldn't be surprised. 

Introducing yourself,  you hold out the flowers for her to take.

"For you," you offer, a little shy and reserved, in a way that Jeongguk doesn't see too often. Your glitter - toned down today, for some reason - sparkles in the late afternoon sun that pours through the windows. "Thank you so much for offering to host me. I really hope it hasn't put you out too much-"

"Oh, don't be silly," she tuts, flipping her hand away as if to emphasise that it really is no big deal. "It's always lovely to have Jeongguk's friends staying with us."

She glances over to Jeongguk. Leans in a little closer. Whispers just loud enough for him to hear. "Plus I'm sure you'll be a far better house guest than Jimin ever is!"

"Mum!" Jeongguk goes to defend his housemate - but he knows his mother adores Jimin. Treats him like a third son. Knows she's creating an alliance with you, given the little lie Jeongguk told about you previously dating Jimin.

"What?!" She plays innocent, and it's suddenly so easy to see why Jeongguk is the way that he is. A product of the people around him, he soaks up their best qualities like a sponge in search of water. His playfulness must come from her. Taking the bunch of flowers, she smiles. "Let's go put these in a vase. You must be hungry."

"Ravenous," Jeongguk confirms, as if he didn't eat half an hour ago. "What's for dinner? And where's dad?"

"At the driving range," she tuts, encouraging you both further into the house.

Large and open plan, the sitting room is adjacent to the kitchen; a space designed for socialisation, it's clear that Jeongguk's parents enjoy hosting. It's no surprise that they agreed to let you stay without hesitation, and is also why Jeongguk had no qualms about asking.

"Minhyuk got a new driver that he wanted to show off, apparently," she continues. "A Titlelist. Got it in some dodgy back alley sale. Your father reckons he's been scammed, but Minhyuk reckons it's the real deal, so I'll guess we'll see."

"Minhyuk lives down the road," Jeongguk explains to you as his mum rummages around in a cupboard to find her favourite vase. He's smiling, amused by it all. "Bit of a busybody. Likes being in people's business, so Dad likes to return the favour. Petty middle-aged man shit."

"Watch your language," his mother scolds. He apologises immediately.

It's sweet, seeing Jeongguk like this. He's always been respectful, even if he does swear like a sailor and has a sense of humour that would send a prude to an early grave.

"As for dinner, I told your father to meet us at the samgyeopsal place you like down by the beach-"

"Ugh," Jeongguk smiles, beaming from ear to ear. "Thank you."

"Don't know why you're thanking me," she hums sweetly as she arranges the flowers in the vase. A little lacklustre while they were still wrapped up, she manages to preen them to look far more beautiful. "You're paying."

"I'm- what?!" He whines, now, taking on the role of youngest son perfectly.

She's just joking, and you all know it - but you also know Jeongguk will likely try and cover the bill regardless. Glancing over to you with a cheeky grin, his mum playfully shrugs her shoulders. You return the smile, and giggle a little harder when Jeongguk continues to whine.

"Oh hush your moaning," she simply says. "Go take your bags through to your rooms. We'll head out in half an hour."

Jeongguk doesn't protest. Drags you along with him back to the entry hall to retrieve the bags.

"See," he says quietly, finding your shyness all rather curious. You're never normally like this. Never so quiet. "Told you there was nothing to worry about. Mum always likes my friends."

Picking up your bag to hoist it over your shoulder, you simply say, "Nerves are natural."

Jeongguk doesn't entirely disagree, but really thinks there's no need for you to feel this way.

"Yeah, if you're meeting, like, a girlfriend's parents," he says. "My parents are nothing to be scared of. Idiot."

"Doesn't matter if I'm not your girlfriend, Gguk. I still want them to like me," you remind him. "And let's be realistic here, parents aren't one for subtleties. You've brought a girl home and have hickies on your neck - I need to touch up the foundation, by the way. If they notice, they're gonna add two and two and get five."

"Well actually," he interjects. "They'll add two and two and get four. You are the girl who gave me them."

You laugh. He's got a point. "But I'm not your girlfriend ."

Yep , he thinks. Thanks for the reminder.

It's not like he even wants that. He knows that things are good as they are. Knows that any indication of things getting serious will likely make you run for the hills.

Things feel easy, now. He doesn't wanna do anything that will complicate it. Won't tell you how he's feeling, 'cause he knows the second it does, things will change.

He doesn't know if it would be for better or for worse, but he knows you. Knows his own lived experiences.

The mistakes made with Hayun have contorted his ability to go with his heart, because he knows the pain it can cause. Will take the nail-biting uncertainty of his feelings for you over the soul-crushing certainty of rejection any day of the week.

You're equally as shaped by your own experiences.

Once had a man who would declare his love for you on a Monday morning before his monthly business trip, only for him to spend the entire week in bed with a girl from the accounting department. You've no trust in words. No trust in anything, really, when it comes to matters of the heart. All you can trust is how you feel - but even that's a little more confusing than usual, these days.

"And thank God for that," Jeongguk teases, which seems to settle the woes within you. He tilts his head to the side and guides you up the hallway. "C'mon. I'll show you to your room."

He deliberately doesn't show you his own room. Will show you later, once he's had the chance to hide away most of the embarrassing stuff he hasn't touched since he was a teenager.

Instead, he leads you straight into his brother's old room, and winces.

"It's worse than I remembered."

Jeongmin's bedroom walls are coated in the Lotte Giants; like an oil slick on the surface of a road, or ice cream dripping down the side of a cone. Unsubtle, garish and impossible to ignore, the man is an interior decor menace.

Flags, shirts, commemorative posters, you name it; Jeongmin has it. You think he must have personally spent enough money to fund an entire season of the KBO.

It's a pretty inoffensive colour scheme - white, blue, red - but it's still an eyesore. The rest of the house is well-decorated. Tasteful. Roses do come with thorns, you consider. Maybe Jeongmin and Jeongguk's rooms qualify for that position.

"So your brother likes football?" You deadpan - although you're sure if there was a Lotte Giants branded football, you'd be able to find one in this room.

Jeongguk just shakes his head. Doesn't even dignify it with a proper response.

"It's a miracle he even managed to get girlfriends during high school. This shit is... I didn't recall there being so much."

Signed baseballs, bobbleheads, foam fingers. God. It's endless. Trading card binders, house slippers, even a rubber duck. It's overwhelming.

"What about now?" You ask of Jeongmin's passion. "Still obsessed?"

"Less so," Jeongguk shrugs. "Did call his dog Seagull, though."

The prospect of a dog being called Seagull has you bursting into laughter. You half think Jeongguk is joking - but quickly realise he isn't. For some reason, that only makes it even funnier.

"Will he be at dinner? Your brother?" You ask, setting your bag down on the freshly made bed. The scent of laundry detergent wafts up, and it reminds you of being back at Jeongguk's place in the city. You've never felt more at home in a stranger's bedroom.

"Why?" Jeongguk asks, narrowing his eyes, remembering what you had said earlier. "You're not allowe-"

"Oh give over," you laugh. "You know I won't."

You've never seen his brother, but already know Jeongguk must be the brother. The one that the girls go crazy over.

Then again, Jeongguk did say that his brother is a fuck boy. Perhaps he's just as handsome.

Impossible .

Thing is, Jeongguk doesn't know you won't go for his brother. You made threats earlier. Knows he ignited a fire in you the second he pulled the 'Daddy' stunt. Knows you're competitive. Regrets it a little bit now. Only has himself to blame.

"Anyway, piss off," you playfully tell him. "I wanna get changed."

Jeongguk doesn't care. Takes a seat by his brother's desk, instead. Smirks. Raises his brows in that promiscuous, boyish way that always disrupts the butterflies who peacefully rest in your diaphragm. "Okay. Get changed."

"Gguk," you deadpan. He's pushing his luck, and he knows it. Glances over to the door. It's ajar, but pushed shut enough to obscure any unwanted eyes. Just means he needs to keep his deep voice quiet.

"What?" He flirts. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

"Your mum is down the hallway!" You whisper-shriek. Sometimes you forget how much of a boy Jeongguk is, and then he pulls shit like this.

The worst part?

You love it when he's like this; all cheeky and brazen, audacious in his quest to get what he wants.

And when it's you that he wants? Oh, it gets you all hot under the collar. He has that effect on people, you think. It can't just be you.

"So?" He licks his lips. Rakes his eyes down your body. Looks fucking hungry - and to him, you look like a 5-course meal he'd gladly get on his knees and beg for. "She's not gonna come in."

His lips press down against one another, tightly. His lip ring does the thing. You whine.

"Gguk."

"Byeol." He teases. "It's not like you're getting naked. Not like we'd be doing anything. Seen you in your underwear so many times."

He'd like to know that he still can. Wants to know he hasn't fucked it all up by getting you a little vulnerable earlier.

"Maybe I am getting naked," you whisper back, feeling challenged now.

"Are you?"

"Should I?" You tease. He sits up a little straighter. Tries to be subtle as his hand drops between his legs, the heel of his palm pressing against himself. Fails. You know he's adjusting himself. Know that it means he's getting a little excited.

"Think if you need to, then you should," he simply replies. "Just a little revision of a bird, no? Nakedness ? It'd be good."

You don't need to get fully undressed. Not in the slightest - and you're not gonna.

In fact, Jeongguk isn't gonna see anything - but you're still gonna fuck with him a little first. He deserves it after this morning.

You turn away from him. Shrug the jacket off your shoulders. Toss it onto the bed. Open up your bag, and have a little dig around.

"I'm not sure what to wear," you hum, sounding a little defeated. It's intentional. Want him to think you're being genuine.

Turning to face him, you hold lingerie in either hand. Packed deliberately just to fuck with him. Had figured you'd wear it discreetly, letting him know as and when he deserved to know. Would use it to wind him up - and not to give him any satisfaction. He's right in thinking he's ignited a little competition in you.

Didn't realise you'd take him to war, instead.

He's not seen you in either of these. Has never really seen you in your 'nice' stuff. All of your underwear is nice to a certain extent, because you're intentional with your purchases. Like feeling good beneath even a pair of sweats.

However, Jeongguk has only ever been treated to matching sets.

After all, you've never tried to seduce him. He's your friend. You fuck each other, sure, but it's cause it's comfortable. Safe.

The lace in your hand is far too exciting for your established arrangement.

In your left hand is a lace bodysuit. Mesh panels make up the structure, but it's the ornate, hand-sewn lace that really makes it beautiful. The neckline is fairly high, so sometimes you get away with wearing it at a top on nights out. Been a while since you went that risque.

In your right hand, it's a classic black garter belt. Jeongguk has no idea what the fuck they're called, just knows he likes them.

He swallows. Licks his lips. Doesn't know where to focus his eyes. Barely realises he's gripping himself now. Is so fucking hard.

"Which is your favourite?" You ask, eyes innocent, voice nonchalant.

Jeongguk thinks he'll die if you wear either.

"Both are fine," he manages to say, eventually.

"Fine isn't good," you pout.

"Well what do you want me to say, B?" He whispers, clearly a little frustrated. Not with you. With himself . "That as soon as you put them on, I'll wanna take them off you? They're fuckin' hot. Both of them. Fuck ."

He tilts his head back. Whines a little. Moans. "Why do I do this to myself?"

"Think you might be a masochist," you giggle now, tossing the lingerie back down by your bag. Will save it for later. Poor boy is going through it. "You did this to yourself."

He looks at you with a huff and a frown that is far too sweet for the situation at hand.

"I'm stupid," he pouts. "Pea brain. You're the one with a big brain. You should tell me to stop doing pea brain things."

"You wouldn't listen to me even if I did," you smile fondly as you walk towards him - 'cause even if it looks like he's admitting defeat, you don't trust him yet. His cock is too hard to be making sensible choices.

Coming to a stop between his legs, you don't stop Jeongguk when his large hands stroke up the backs of your thighs. Your own hands are toying with his hair. It's all very amorous; affectionate despite the allure.

"You don't know that," he whispers, still. Cupping his strong jaw, you tilt his head upwards. Your hair is still up from earlier, and he regrets it now. Always loves it when your hair tumbles around his face. Likes being consumed by the entity of you. The scent of your shampoo, the softness of your well-conditioned hair. Heaven.

"You made a bad decision this morning," you remind him. "Would have done it even if I told you it was a bad decision."

Regretfully, Jeongguk thinks this is true. That instant gratification of his ' Daddy' stunt made it worth it.

Worth it at the time, at least.

He's not so sure, now.

Sinking to your knees, your hands stroke up his thighs. Jeongguk looks down at you, tongue wetting his lips. There's a change in his breathing. Anticipation.

"You know," you say quietly, making sure no sound travels at all. You're not looking to get kicked out of Jeongguk's house within an hour of being invited in. Looking directly at his hard crotch as your hands squeeze his thighs, you simper. "I really thought you were gonna take charge this morning. Thought you were gonna get me where you wanted me."

"Yeah?" he husks, pulling on his shirt, releasing it from the belt around his waist. Lifts it a little. Gets his abs out. Is doing shit he knows will make you salivate. One of your hands follows his encouragement and pushes up his chest. Hard beneath your warm hand, his body really is a gift from the gods.

"Yeah," you tease.

"What did you think, huh?" He says, his hand cupping your cheek to raise your gaze to his. It'd embarrass you, if it were anyone else; but for some reason, you don't mind worshipping Jeongguk unabashedly. Are on your knees like his body is your alter. Whisper words of sin like you're in a confessional. Pray that you'll never have to give this up. Religion is wasted on you, and Jeongguk is a false God, but you've never felt more holy than when you're committing cardinal sins with him. "Where was I gonna get you?"

Smiling in that coy way you so often do whenever he gets you a little vocal, your eyes rake back down his body.

"Right here," you shrug. Give him those eyes; the ones that make Jeongguk think he's seeing fucking stars. Smirk, before you say, "thought you were gonna get your cock in my mouth."

"Shit," he curses as you press down over the hard ridge in his pants. He's always so pleased to see you - especially like this. "You want that, huh? Wanna suck on it?"

Nodding, you bite on the lip, sin written in the constellations Jeongguk's gazing at. "Wanna make you feel good, Koo."

If Jeongguk doesn't get his cock in your mouth within the next minute, he's pretty sure he'll die. Has wanted it for weeks. Months . Wants you in any capacity he can get you, granted, but there are few things in life better than a good blow job. Good pussy, is, admittedly one of those things, but he already knows you have that. Thinks your mouth must be just as good.

His hands drop to his belt. Metal clangs as he races to get it undone. You let him. Don't stop. Watch on with sated pleasure as he hurries. Undoes his buttons, and then his zipper is down, too. His Calvins are on display. There's a teeny tiny damp mark showing through; evidence of how badly he wants you. "We don't have long. Be quick, B. Gonna nut so fuckin' fast."

Smirking, there's something so painfully endearing about how needy Jeongguk is as he untucks himself from his boxers. Thick and firm, his cock is just as pretty as it always is whenever he's desperate for you. The little bead of precum pooling at his tip is begging for your tongue, the freckle on his shaft deserving of a pretty little kiss.

And then you pull back. Look at his pretty, needy face and raise a brow. Poor baby .

"Said I wanna make you feel good," you smirk. "Not that I will."

You get to your feet. Walk away. Giggle to yourself as Jeongguk fucking whines as quietly as he can. Needs that door closed. Needs you to know that this balling is gonna kill him off. Head thrown back, cock in his hand, he's gonna fucking die .

"B," he growls a little, faux sobs echoing from his throat.

"What?" You smile. He looks like a fucking state, desire taking hold of the way he's staring you out, chest heaving a little bit. And then, to add insult to injury, you remember to 'address him properly'. "Something wrong, Daddy ?"

His face bunches up. Regret embeds itself into the lines on his face. He whines. "You're so mean, Disco Ball."

He's cute. Really fucking cute.

It makes you feel bad.

And fuck, you want him.

Seeing him like this gets you all sorts of fucked up - but he deserves it.

He watches you cautiously as you walk a little closer.

You crouch between his legs this time, instead of getting down on your knees. Replace his hand with yours. Have missed how it feels to have him in your grip.

Eyes on his, you watch as his chest begins to beat a little fast. His lips are ajar. Eyes forlorn, he's desperate . His cock twitches in your hand, so you tighten your fingers. A hushed moan lets you know he likes this. Likes every fucking thing about it.

Licking your lips, you position yourself a little better. Glance down. Think it's a miracle you haven't given him head yet. Have never wanted to choke on a cock more - cause what are friends for, if not that?

"I'm not mean," you whisper. You drag your wet tongue across the tiny slit that is fucking oozing for you. It takes everything in you not to give into what you want. "I'm so nice to you, Koo."

You've got a point to prove, though. Ease your grip. Stand. Replace the now empty space in your hand with his chin between your thumb and index finger, grasping onto it as you tilt him upwards.

You hold your tongue out, encouraging him to do the same - and without even a second fucking thought, he does it.

Eyes wide, Jeongguk wants this. Want you. Wants your tongue on his.

And what Jeongguk wants?

Well, eventually , he always gets it.

Your tongue swipes against his; traces of his own precum sinking onto his tongue, masking the taste of you.

He wants more.

Wants you to do it again. Wants to taste you. Wants you to sit on his lap, tongue in his mouth. Wants to be too fucking busy with his lips to remember how to breathe.

And, like always, he will get it - just not now.

Eventually, yes.

Immediately, no.

"You're gonna fuckin' kill me one day, B," he whines as you walk away from him again.

"Good," you smile, talking at full volume now. Playtime is over.

You do, however, take off your shirt, and let him watch. All he can see is your back, but even that drives him insane. He can't remember the last time he was this worked up without any indication of a release. He's been horny all fucking day.

Pulling a fresh shirt over your head, you're a little sad to see he's tucked himself away when you turn around again.

"Go get ready," you say fondly. "We don't have long."

Jeongguk is pouting. A crease between his brows, he looks hard done by.

" So mean."

His stroppy demeanour makes you laugh. It's so classically him. A Ggukism, if you ever did see one.

"That's what you get for making me call you Daddy," you say quietly. Find it funny how much of a baby he's being - and consider that maybe he's the one that is better suited to the nickname.

He whines again. Louder this time. You glance to the door. Make sure you're still without disturbance.

You want to call him baby.

Just because it works, and it's funny, and - fuck it - maybe it'd be nice.

But it would also be a step too far, you think.

"Shush," you say affectionately, not accenting your command with 'baby' like you really want to. Instead, you walk over to him and cover his mouth with your palm. "What if someone hears you whining, huh? I don't wanna have to tell your mum you've just been tasting your own cum in your brother's bedroom, do you?"

"You're so fucked up," he wails, feeling incredibly hard done by. He needs to learn how to resist you. Never wants to have to endure this again.

"We're so fucked up," you correct. "I wouldn't be so mean to anyone else - but you deserved it."

He can't even argue against it. He knows that this is a product of his own creation.

"Go, get yourself sorted out," you encourage him along. "We don't have long."

He nods. Sighs. Gets to his feet, and does his trousers back up. Is convinced he'll die before your trip to Busan finishes if this is the game you're playing.

Leaving you to get ready (and to let his raging boner die, even if he won't) Jeongguk returns within 15 minutes. He's nonchalant, as if what happened the last time he was in the room was simply a fragment of your own imagination.

You're sitting by the floor-length mirror (which is, of course, adorned in Lotte Giants memorabilia), doing your makeup. Hair claw-clipped now, Jeongguk is a little sad to see your space buns go, but understands why. You seem to be a little more demure than usual.

He nudges his knee against your back, gentle in how he touches you, your body swaying ever so slightly.

"Don't," you smile, pulling the liquid glitter away from your face. "I'll get it in my eye."

There's an innuendo to be made there, but Jeongguk knows better. Just smirks. Plonks himself down next to you; cross-legged, knees up, arms hugging around them. He looks like a condensed version of himself like this, sitting as close to you as he possibly can just so he can see himself in the mirror.

"Little disco ball," he says fondly, watching you dab the glitter onto the inner corners of your eyes. It's not something he often calls you these days, but there's something about hearing the name now that makes you smile.

"Strange, isn't it?" You muse. "This time last year I was just disco-ballin' in your club. Didn't even know your name."

He nods. Smiles. "And now you're in my brother's bedroom turning yourself into a disco ball."

"Funny little lives, we live," you muse fondly. How far you've both come. If it wasn't for the glitter, you don't think you'd recognise yourself.

"Would you have ever predicted it?" he asks. Knows he was intrigued by you from the very moment he first saw you. Has no idea what you thought of him. Wonders if you had 'what if' thoughts about him. Who he was. Who he could be. What you could become. "That you'd end up here?"

"Honestly? Sorta wanted to curl up and die after you found me in your living room."

The memories are a little hazy, but you still remember the look on Jeongguk's sleepy face in the early morning sun that was intruding on his living room at the time.

Jeongguk nods. Smiles. Remembers it far better than you do. "Yeah, wasn't your finest hour."

You turn to look at him, chin resting on your shoulder. There's a glow about you now that Jeongguk can't seem to get enough of. Wants to drink you in like purple starfuckers at 2am in the heat of full-capacity Dionysus nights.

"I mean, I don't know," you say with a small shrug. "How often do you become friends with your punters?"

"Not often," he admits. "How often do you become friends with your bartenders?"

You're coy as you smile. "Not often."

Not ever, actually.

Yeonjun doesn't count - you've never spent any time with him sober, even if you do always enjoy seeing him behind the bar. Even then, it doesn't compare to the way you seem to light up whenever Jeongguk is serving your drinks.

Jeongguk's the first. The only.

Taking the liquid glitter from your hands, Jeongguk scoots a little closer. Gets more product on the wand, and sets the tube down beside him. Pinches your chin between his index finger and thumb.

There's no opposition from you; just a silent acceptance of Jeongguk dictating your movements. Lips parting as he draws a little closer, there's apprehension to the way your eyes flicker between his own pair and his lips.

Jeongguk is pleased, but tries not to let it show. Fights his smile. Battles the inner voices telling him that kissing you would be a good idea.

Breath hitched as his dark eyes survey your face, you're regretful of the way your body responds to him. Friendship tainted by desire; a natural by-product of fucking someone you really care about, you think.

It's no secret that you adore each other, but doesn't everyone feel so fondly about their best friends?

He's slow as he dabs the end of the wand against your cheek, following around the curve of your eye socket. Jeongguk always thinks you look so pretty when you highlight yourself with glitter there. It catches the light so easily that he always notices it. Might have even been the first glitter of yours that he notices in the dreary lights of Dionysus, the hedonistic haze of neon lights and dark shadows creating the disco ball effect he likes so much.

"There," he says quietly as he finishes evening it out. "Pretty little star."

"Careful," you say back just as quietly. "You'll give me an ego."

"Just returning the favour," he jokes, screwing the wand back into the tube, his hands working quickly. "The Daddy thing really did a number on my ego this morning."

Rolling your sparkly eyes, you gently push him away.

"Fuck off, Jeon," you playfully reprimand him for mentioning it again, getting to your feet. Smoothing out your clothes as you check yourself over in the mirror, you're pleased to see that Jeongguk has applied your glitter just the way you like it. Dabbing it out slightly, your heart swells a little with how attentive he is.

Still sitting exactly where he was, Jeongguk strokes up the inside of your leg. It's all very innocent. Just touching you 'cause he likes the comfort that comes with it. You're in sheer tights, there's a softness to them that Jeongguk likes. He tries to forget the garter belt you were holding earlier. Doesn't think you'd wear it out for dinner with his parents.

He's right.

No matter how hot it might be working him up in public, you're not about to go and do it in front of his parents . You have some morals at least, even if Jeongguk does make you momentarily forget about them from time to time.

Reaching down, you scratch his hair a little, just behind his ear. Eyes closed, he leans into your touch like a little puppy dog. So docile and devoted. Cute.

"C'mon," you encourage him, but remain fixed in position. Head versus heart. Wanna stay right where you are in the cocoon of Jeongguk's family home with him, but know you have places to be. "Shouldn't keep your mum waiting."

He nods, head resting against your leg. Sighs. "Yeah. You're right. Let's go."

You offer him a hand up, of which he gladly takes. Checks himself over in the mirror. Is still wearing the outfit he drove in. Considered changing, but he's aware of the way the girls at the service station were ogling him earlier. Knows the outfit probably has something to do with it.

He doesn't mention the change of your outfit; the fact that you're wearing a white shirt too, now. It's tucked into a little black skirt, he's certain you're probably gonna wear those slightly worn out Converse of yours - and he intends on doing the exact same.

"C'mon, kids!" Jeongguk's mum calls up the corridor, echoing your thoughts about needing to leave.

It's nice, you think, to be grouped with Jeongguk in such a way. Makes you feel like this is the way it's always been. Doesn't matter if you're in your twenties, and Jeongguk's mum met you an hour ago. There's an acceptance of you; of your place in her son's life.

He glances over at you, scrunching his nose a little. Is a little awkward. Likes the idea of you being part of his life since childhood. Is sad it'll never be the case.

"You heard her. Let's go."

Ushering you back down the hallway, a hand on top of your shoulder, thumb rubbing the nape of your neck, there's a casual intimacy to the way Jeongguk always finds an excuse to touch you.

It's not scary, nor daunting in the way that you always deem intimacy to be, but it is something . Gets you feeling a little flustered. Has you wriggling out of his grip with a laugh, as if he was tickling you.

"Stop annoying the poor girl," his mother scolds fondly as you come into her line of vision, which just simply earns another protest from Jeongguk.

"She's the annoying one."

You scoff. "That's rich coming from you."

It's all in good humour, and his mother appreciates this. Likes seeing Jeongguk goof around, especially knowing how stressed he's been lately. Has barely called. Missed his father's birthday to study.

All she wants is for her children to live happy, fulfilled lives, and if there's one thing to be noted about Jeongguk's current demeanour, it's that he's undoubtedly happy.

Whether or not that has anything to do with you, she doesn't know - but she wasn't born yesterday. His desire to visit home is understandable after the pressure of his studies. He needs rest - and somehow, he factors you into that rest.

Of her two children, Jeongguk's always been the more introverted one. He needs his time to recharge. Would be the life and soul of the party at school, then come home and remain silent until dinner time.

For a few years, it bothered her. Thought that maybe Jeongguk was unhappy at home - but it was quite the opposite. It's his safe space.

And now he's bringing you into it.

"Is the room okay?" she asks you, knowing that the sheer amount of baseball memorabilia in Jeongmin's room is... a lot to take in. "Interior decoration was always more of Jeongguk's speciality. Had Jimin to give him pointers. Jeongmin... Well, he had an acquired taste... As you've probably already gathered."

Laughing a little, you nod. "It's grand. Thank you for letting me stay. I really appreciate it - and I grew up with a Lions-loving Dad. I'm used to it."

"Ohh," his mother winces, then addresses Jeongguk. "Keep this one away from Jeongmin."

You also turn behind you now, raising a brow. He's just rolling his eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

"Samsung Lions - and their fans - are the scum of the earth in Jeongmin's eyes," he explains, then looks over to his mum. "Is he coming to dinner? Do we need to sit them at opposite ends of the table?"

Shaking her head, she laughs. "No, he's got plans, apparently. I did tell him you were visiting, but you know what he's like."

Jeongguk just sort of accepts this answer. Nods. Shrugs his shoulders, as if it's to be expected. An air of disappointment clouds around Jeongguk, lips pursed, eyes stern.

He and his brother are cut from the same cloth, but have been sewn together with different stitches. For all their similarities, they have stark differences, too. This one has always been the most challenging for Jeongguk; how little his brother seems to care about maintaining a good relationship.

Jeongmin seems to think their status as brothers is enough to keep the bond strong. Doesn't seem to care about fostering an actual friendship with him.

It's part of the reason why Jeongguk is so reluctant to let go of friendships that no longer serve him. They're filling a void. He never wants to be the one who gives up. Doesn't wanna be the reason things fall apart.

"Alright," Jeongguk's mother smiles at you both. "Ready to go?"

It surprises you that she's the one driving to dinner instead of Jeongguk - but it makes sense, given the fact you and Jeongguk will stay in the area afterwards.

She insists that you sit up front, even if all forms of hierarchy would dictate that Jeongguk should be there instead. He doesn't complain. Sort of likes how you and his mum are ganging up on him like a little team.

When you arrive at the samgyeopsal place, his father is already waiting.

He's everything you expect him to be: funny, a little dramatic, and the spitting image of Jeongguk, just with a few more grey hairs and even deeper creases beneath his eyes. Introduces himself with as much gusto as a cartoon character; full of life and pleased to have another person to relay all of Minhyuk's misdemeanours to.

You learn more about the Busan Driving Range circuit than you ever could have predicted - specifically about Minhyuk, the legitimacy of his 'bargain' driver, and how Jeongguk's father is convinced he's been tampering with his balls.

Jeongguk chokes on his drink when his dad mentions that last point. Earns himself a talking to for thinking with such a dirty mind - but after a few drinks, his parents are giggling about it, too.

There's something incredibly easy about being around Jeongguk's parents. It's no wonder he's grown into the person he is.

You feel a little shy. Don't understand the in-jokes at first - but someone always explains them to you. Normally Jeongguk, but sometimes his mother. Never his father, 'cause he'll go on a twenty minute long tangent explaining the lore and the back story. They've learnt this the hard way.

Still, he's a dab hand when it comes to grilling the meat. Takes charge of it all. Plates his wife up first, always. You second, Jeongguk third, and then himself. Head of the house, he takes his place in the hierarchy seriously, but not at the expense of the ones he loves. Will make sure they're provided for first.

Jeongguk is much the same. In charge of refilling the soju and beer, he'll pour for his father first, then mother, then you. Puts the bottle down before he fills his own, which is when you step up and fill his glass. He'll nudge with you his knee beneath the table to make you wobble, but never enough to make you spill it.

Subscribing to drinking norms is something that you never really do with Jeongguk. He's a bartender, after all. Things are always a little unconventional. He's normally the one making you drinks and sorting himself out, too.

Something about this feels incredibly domesticated. Natural. Pleasant.

By the time dinner is done, Jeongguk's parents have to order a taxi. Had a little too much to drink- but you're bloody glad for it. Made it a lot easier for you.

"Your parents are fun," you beam, walking down the promenade of Gwangalli with Jeongguk. It's your favourite of all the busy beaches in the city, but you rarely ever get the chance to see it after dark. There'll be a drone show, soon. You've definitely never seen that. Can't wait for it.

"They sure are something," he laughs, a little embarrassed. They have big personalities, which he's glad of, but he knows they can be a bit much sometimes. "Dad drinks well, so we probably had a bit more than we should have done. Sorry."

Shaking your head, you don't mind in the slightest. Are at that giddy stage of drinking, where everything seems marvellous, and bad decisions cosplay as good choices.

"Are you forgetting how we met? I don't mind having one too many, Gguk."

"True," he agrees, checking the time on his phone. Still a good half an hour before the small show. It's just a free thing that the city council puts on every night, not a huge deal to him anymore, but he understands why people romanticise it. Knows that you have to see it.

Tugging on your hand, Jeongguk checks the road before he crosses, dragging you along with him.

"Hm?" You squeak, taken by surprise. A little tipsy, your reflexes aren't as fast as usual, just like tipsy Jeongguk isn't as good at voicing his thought processes as sober Jeongguk usually is.

"Photos," he simply states, leading you into a small retail unit that houses only photo booths.

It's the standard set-up: wall partitions between self-timer camera units, and curtains instead of doors to the small spaces. Each booth has a different colour background, adding to their own individual charms. The walls of the entryway are lined in discarded pictures; friendship groups, couples, first dates, anniversaries, birthdays. Life events, big and small. Moments of time captured to last forever.

Accessories and props are abundant in the entry area - hats, glasses, wigs, signs. Your favourites are always the headbands. Kitty ears, normally, though sometimes you branch out into bunny ears if you're feeling fancy.

There are five booths in total along the back wall, but one in particular grabs your attention: the one advertising Sanrio-themed frames instead of the standard solid colour outline.

"Oh my god," you gasp, and then it's Jeongguk's turn to squeak with confusion. You point to it. Specifically, to the My Melody and Kuromi figures by the bottom of the ad. "It's us."

He smiles. Doesn't really understand your hyper fixation. Agrees nonetheless. "It is us."

The pair of you goof around, picking props. Jeongguk learns that you find him in any sort of animal ears absolutely hilarious, but the second he puts on a yacht captain's hat?

"Take that off right this second," you tell him, voice stern, eyes wide.

He's bemused. Snorts a little. Teeth on show, he's dangerously pretty. So handsome and yet such a little shit. "Why? Like it?"

You turn your nose up. "Hate it."

"I know you're lying," he laughs. Tilts it down. "Is this getting you all hot, B?"

"I'm leaving," you say, because it's so much easier than saying yes.

Something about him in a white shirt, with that hat? White with a navy peak, gold embroidery on the sides? God, you see why the old money girlies like boatmen so much. Decide that you're never getting on a boat with Jeongguk if you want to retain your sanity.

He takes it off. You don't even realise it, but you pout.

"You're so confusing, Byeol," he says as he playfully puts it on your head - and then he's feeling all fucked up too.

Something about a captain's hat. Just really does the trick.

You've both had too much to drink. There's no reason for you both to be getting flustered because of a stupid hat and yet -

"I don't think we should ever touch hats again," Jeongguk says very quickly.

But then you put a pair of kitty ears on and he starts questioning whether or not furries are actually kinda onto something.

He furrows his brows. Picks up a pair of ears. Bunny ones. Black. They're satin and a little too sexy, he thinks, but he's gotta see himself in them.

And when he does?

He kinda gets why girls dress up like cute animals for fancy dress parties. Doesn't wanna blow his own trumpet - but shit. He does look cute.

"Oh my god, YES," you exclaim when you clock his new attire, and quite literally drag him to the booth. He gets no say in the matter, and honestly doesn't care. Is having too much fun with you to take any of this seriously.

You pick the Sanrio framed booth, because of course you do. Jeongguk pops his card in the slot, and lets you click through on the options that you want - 4cut, vertical frame. The classic style. Your favourite.

Turning to Jeongguk, you tweak his glasses a little. Can't decide if they look better hiked up, or further down his perfectly sloped nose.

All Jeongguk can think about is your nose, and much he wants to nudge his up against yours.

And so he does just that.

Doesn't give a fuck.

The camera flashes.

You're caught, forevermore, in your state of Jeongguk-induced hypnosis. The pictures will survive beyond you. Will be stored in boxes to be looked at once, maybe twice by future generations.

One day, no one will know the name of you nor the boy you're with. They won't know how the scent of his aftershave lingers, nor the way your soft exhale of air sounds as you smile. Your present will be lost to history, this photograph? Your legacy.

Nothing will be known of you, and yet this picture alone will tell them everything they need to know.

"We're gonna waste shots," you whisper. The booth takes six photos, but you'll only be allowed to choose four for the printed picture at the end.

The more to choose from, the better.

"So?" Jeongguk smirks. Holds your neck just beneath your jaw. Strokes across your cheek with his thumb. Looks at you with sparkly eyes and a boyish smile that is just begging to be kissed. "Don't you wanna see what it looks like when we kiss?"

"It's intimate," you remind him.

"Maybe - but it's also fun," he reminds you.

The camera flashes again. That's two shots wasted, now.

If you let this carry on, it'll be three, and then one of them will have to be used in the final print.

And yet as Jeongguk nudges against your nose a little deeper, you let him.

When his lips ghost yours, you let him.

When his lips press down, you let him.

You'll let the third photo be taken, because you'll be too busy kissing him back to pay attention.

The fourth, too.

Lips on yours, Jeongguk kisses you in a way that he hasn't done before. It's delicate, and gentle, but his lips are strong. Intentional. There's no intrusion of tongue, no fervent need to get you moaning, even though it feels like you will regardless.

Your brain screams at you. Something about rules, and breaking them.

You ignore it.

'Cause all you can think about is the way this feels.

You don't think you've ever had a kiss like it.

And it's terrifying.

It's not until the fifth shot flashes that you both pull away; smiles smitten, eyes glossy. Both of you felt that. Ain't no way he couldn't have.

You think that maybe that's even more terrifying.

And so for the sixth shot?

Both of you pretend to throw up, disgust plaguing your giggly smiles and blushed cheeks.

There's distance between you, but as soon as the camera flashes, Jeongguk is pulling you back to his side again. It's just so that you're both ready to look through the pictures that are about to pop up on the little touchscreen. He's being helpful. Glances down at you, and has to stop himself from pressing a kiss into your hair.

Things are just so easy with you.

As soon as the pictures load, you're laughing. "We have to retake these."

"No, no, no," he swats your hand away, then taps on one of the photos, adding it to the preview frame. "My jaw looks really good in this one."

It's shot number four. Mid kiss. His hands on your cheeks, yours out of frame because they were on his waist. His jaw really does look fantastic - but it's sort of devastating when you realise just how happy he looks. He's smiling into the kiss. The most devastating thing of all?

So are you.

"How is that even us," you giggle. Seems so bizarre to see yourself like this.

"Gross isn't it," he smiles, adding more of the pictures to the frame, but you're the one correcting him now, tapping his hand to move him out of your way.

"We need them in order," you say. "A chain of events."

Eventually, the order is settled: the nudging of noses, the innocence of a kiss with the sin of Jeongguk's sharp jaw, the slightly startled look in both of your eyes as you'd pulled away, and then, of course, both of you pretending to vomit.

As they print, you pick out props for the next set of photos - Jeongguk in a pair of purple heart-shaped glasses and a Kuromi headband, you in that damn sailor's hat - and discuss which poses to actually do. This time round, it's all peace signs and finger hearts; goofy angles too close to the camera and a little laughter to set the tone.

"C'mon," Jeongguk says softly as you finish sliding the pictures into the thin plastic sleeves next to the booths. He normally doesn't bother with them. Likes that you seem to care about preserving the integrity of your memories. Hand outstretched, he encourages you to take it.

"Your bird," he says. "Said we'd do it in Busan."

The look you give him is coy, eyes a little sultry, lips a little pouty.

When you're silent, Jeongguk laughs. "Hold my hand, B."

"Getting a little date-like, don't you think?" You say of the night, but Jeongguk just shrugs.

"So? We'll just call it practise."

"Mhhm," he nods, shaking his hand a little because you still haven't held it. He's impatient. It's only as you take his hand that he begins talking again. "You don't wanna go back into the dating world unprepared. What if Mr Mechanical Engineer tries to hold your hand without you being ready for it?" He squeezes your hand, leading you out the door. "Let's get you used to it."

The mention of Seojoon makes you feel guilty. About him? About Jeongguk? You're not sure. It's something you need to figure out. Something you need to figure out fast .

And yet as Jeongguk holds both yours and his shoes in one hand, your hand firmly secured in the other, you choose not to think about it.

Just think of the sand, and how it will be a bitch to get out of your tights. It's sort of like your glitter, in a way.

But just like Jeongguk wouldn't trade your glitter for anything, you wouldn't trade this moment for anything either.

Neither of you say much. Just listen to the waves rolling in. Listen to other people's conversations. Listen to the whir of the drones as they start up and get into position. The show begins. Won't last longer than ten minutes. The silence is comfortable.

He holds your hand, and you move them to your lap in a bid to keep them warm.

Jeongguk isn't really feeling the cold. His heart is simply burning too brightly.

"I'm really glad you're here," he says as the show draws to a close.

"Me too," you whisper back fondly. "It must be nice to be home."

"Well, you know they say," he muses. "Home is where the heart is, and all that."

Been at home for months, B.

You breathe through your nose, exhaling a sincere smile. Could say a million things. Could say nothing at all. Could ask what he means, but you're taking it at face value. Genuinely think he's just happy to be home.

"We should visit more often," you suggest.

"I'd like that," he nods as he squeezes your hand. "You wanna go explore the night markets?"

Grinning, you get to your feet immediately. "Thought you'd never ask."

Jeongguk leads the way. Shows you his old haunts. Gets you hotteok from his favourite stand down by the promenade. Shows you the arcade machine he once spunked away 50,000 won on and didn't even win a prize. Shows you the initials he and Jimin caved into a pavement curb fourteen years ago. Took them hours. Both got blisters. Worth it though. They're embedded in the city, forevermore.

He takes you down memory lane, and you find it's your favourite street to visit with Jeongguk. You love his history; learning what shaped him. Who shaped him. Where.

Not once does Jeongguk let go of your hand.

Not down the markets, not along the beach, not in the taxi home, even when he doses off for a moment, head resting on your shoulder.

Not once. Not until you're both home, and he's saying goodnight outside of his brother's bedroom door. He's still toying with your fingers. Isn't even gonna suggest the idea of doing things you know you shouldn't.

Doesn't wanna taint the night.

In the morning, he'll blame all of his bad decisions on the alcohol. Will say he was tipsy, even though you stopped drinking hours ago.

He hugs you goodnight. Lingers a little too long. Too close. Nudges his nose against yours. Brushes his thumb against your cheek.

"This..." he whispers. "This is what it should be like."

His jaw tenses. He holds himself back from pressing his lips against yours like he so desperately wants to. Knows he's already said too much. Pulls himself away from you, to press a kiss against your forehead.

His lip ring is so hard, and his lips so soft, that it makes you feel all sorts of fucked up.

The most fucked up thing of all?

How badly you want his lips on yours.

But then he fucking walks away .

Closes his door. Shuts you out.

The evening had been so simple. So straightforward. Casual. Nothing confusing in the slightest. You were happy. So was he.

And yet as you lie in bed, all that rattles around in your head for hours on end is the question: what the fuck is happening to us?

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid]

Vent

We have someone coming to look at the house tomorrow and preparing for it is a stark reminder that I'm not able bodied and haven't been for years.

It wouldn't be as stressful had I been able to work on stuff the whole weekend. But my new meds basically made me comatose the entire weekend from how sick they made me so nothing got done. At all.

Stuff that ableds can easily maintain, are things that I'm festering in. Our dishwasher broke, and with my husband working himself to death and my pots and audhd and tbd fibro, I just can't. I can't keep up.

We just threw away so many dishes because they weren't salvageable. I just filled the bathtub with dishes that were, to soak and scrub later this morning. My entire body is screaming in pain from scrubbing one stack of plates. One. Stack. Of plates. That's like, maybe a dozen?

My hands are cramping up and soon I won't be able to use them for a bit until they unlock. My entire back/shoulders are locking up as I speak.

I hate this. I fucking hate this. We even use disposable a lot but there are times disposable is too flimsy for the meal we have. Or it requires bowls that are sturdy.

I am getting laundry put away, but immediately refilling the baskets with the dirty. The washing machines are going nonstop. But sitting and folding hurts my entire body so much. Hands and back/shoulders mostly.

If we could afford a weekly cleaner/some laundry help we would. In a heartbeat. But we can't. We aren't even paycheck to paycheck. We're always having to shift stuff around and with the year we've had? Big ticket items of the house breaking and multiple illnesses on top of chronic illness.... we just can't.....

I hate it so much.... we need help. But there is no help right now.

[aspiring-writer-hidden-voice]

⛅️

The grit and grime cling to your skin, making it feel irritated and dry, not to mention itchy. A glance at the window reveals a world you barely recognize. What happened to the people?… Where did the smiles go?… Why was the sky so dark?… How did things end up this way?… So many questions fill your mind as you lay in bed half covered by the sheets and pillow partially covering your face. The room is a mess, hell the whole place is from dirty dishes you’ve been meaning to wash to laundry that needs done to the trash building around the too full can beside the fridge that’s been empty for…you can’t even remember how long it’s been since you went grocery shopping.

All that you’ve known is survival mode.

Holding just enough energy to do the bare minimum, to keep up appearances that everything was fine. That raises the faint question in the back of your head of “Is this the new normal?” Unfortunately, that same tiny voice doesn’t have an answer for you, so it remains silent…for once.

What day is it? What time? Should you bother getting up? Was anything worth doing anymore?

Your lashes twitch when a notification bings.

For a second your hand remains where it is…until it slowly shifts across the bed to lightly pick up the device responsible. The screen lights up as you lift then bring it closer until your face is illuminated.

That’s when the world suddenly seems to bloom with color rather than the grayscale you’ve become familiar with as the text shows upon the screen from an unknown sender. It didn’t matter if it was a wrong number; an AI, an old friend whose number you’ve lost over the years, or a relative you thought would never reach out.

It was what you needed.

Your fingers dart across the screen to respond back. A few words turn into a paragraph…then two…then three…until it’s so long that it’s near impossible to see the beginning without scrolling. For a moment your finger hesitates over the send button and with a moment of silence you quickly delete it all then send “I’m fine”.

Or at least you think you do when it sends the whole thing.

For a moment anxiety grips you. Your eyes widen, heart hammering against your chest as its rise and falling of breaths quicken…

But then the response of “Whatever I can do, I will for you.”

And you believe those words as you glance up at the window just in time to view the rainbow that breaks apart the clouds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, loves! Long time, I know! Lots of things have been happening lately and I’ll just cut to the main points:

Basement flooded with sewage

We three got sick with Covid like we did back in March and had to be hospitalized

The pipes are remedied with bandaids until we can move out

Field for Section 8 housing and are looking for Low-Income Neighborhoods

Our little one celebrated her second birthday in the hospital

We have come to the understanding and acceptance of her Cerebral Palsy, meaning I will most likely be her caretaker for the rest of our lives

I have alarms for 6am, 7am, 8am, 9am, and all through ought the day due to her feeding/meds schedule

My energy and esteem has suffered tremendously so I am now mustering the courage to face a therapist for antidepressants

Juggling being a mom of a special child, a wife, my ADHD and PTSD from childhood trauma, my depressions that I’ve been in denial about for the last five years, and being the middle person of everything else from pharmacy dealings to landlord…

Anyway~~~ so as I am working through life, I may or may not update as frequently.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step…and mine starts now.

[frogofalltime]

05.03.2024

i woke up at 7am, ate breakfast, and got ready for class. my 9am lecture was about FROGS so you bet i was there EARLY and READY TO LEARN >:)

then i had lab from 10am to 1pm. half our group didn't show up and there wasn't enough equipment for the whole class so we spent the first two hours Literally Doing Nothing while waiting for our turn and then the last hour frantically trying to get everything done now that we were able to use the equipment. it was very stressful. but i made the most of the time when there wasn't much to do by taking time out from the lab, sitting in the sunshine, and eating Second Breakfast (because i wouldn't get a break from class until 2pm and i was really hungry already at 11am).

next was a lecture that was incredibly boring, it was a recap of stuff we already knew followed by an unnecessarily long explanation of how to solve simultaneous equations (which is something we definitely learned in high school or even before that ??) and i was really tired so i fell asleep. i was woken up at the end of the lecture by @etherealspacejelly poking me lmao. we went back to the house, but robin needed Alone Time and i was Going Insane From Everything, so i left.

on my way home i went for a walk in the park to try and feel better and enjoy the nice weather. i sat on a bench in the sun and it actually felt almost warm on my face. but then i realised i hadn't eaten lunch yet and i had an appointment with the gender clinic at 4:10pm so i rushed home and quickly ate something before that.

i was dreading the appointment because i had to talk about my family's transphobia, the recent incident with my mother, and how i was feeling like i was being forced to detransition. but it was actually very useful and they helped me to see the positives of transition and come up with a plan to write something down and use that to explain my feelings and identity to my mother next time she brings up the topic.

after that i was absolutely exhausted but it was only 5:30pm and i still had so many things i needed to do. robin encouraged me to do my laundry because i hadn't done it for two and a half weeks. so i dragged my heavy bag of dirty clothes to the laundry room at my student accommodation and somehow squeezed everything into one washing machine.

while my clothes were washing i decided to go to the small shop near my building to get the food i needed instead of having to go all the way to the big (and very overstimulating) supermarket. that way i could tick another Big Daunting Task off my list (GROCERY SHOPPING) without actually using up too many spoons in the process.

when i had put away my shopping i sat down for a few minutes to rest but then i realised my laundry was just about to finish so i forced myself to get up and collect it. i put as much of it in the dryer as i could, and took the rest to air dry in my room, because once again i had way too much laundry to possibly hang it all up on my clothes airer.

by now i was extremely tired and overwhelmed so i lay down on my bed in the dark and listened to music to calm myself down. but then even the music was too overstimulating so i just turned it off and lay there in silence.

i needed to eat, but i had no energy to cook, so i just ate soup and toast, while reading percy jackson. then i washed my dishes, and went back to the laundry room to collect my clothes from the dryer.

i put away the dry laundry while listening to music because i knew if i didn't do it now it would stay in my brain as a Big Task and stress me out. when i had done that i changed into my pyjamas, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. i did not have the energy to take a shower.

it was not even 10pm yet so i let myself relax by working on my sewing project in bed, while listening to youtube in the background. finally i went to sleep around midnight.

[dollsonmain]

May need to get rid of all of the house plants.

Came out of the bedroom this morning and WHAM! MOLD!

Ew. And ow. Hurts my nose and eyes.

-

Laundry room stinks today, too, and that was after my laundry so it's not just That Guy, it's just more often after That Guy. I'll go run a cleaning tablet here in a bit.

I do wonder if it would be better to run the drain down into the floor so the hose drains out completely instead of spilling old, dirty water back into the machine.

-

People were burning wood yesterday and that hurt my face and was stinky.

It is stinky times.

--

Made the mistake of trying to talk to That Guy about why he can't get his friends to come over more often after he was having buyer's remorse from buying that table top game on eBay. Not just buying the game but buying from eBay which he's never done before.

He had me buy it for him because he refuses to sign up for basically anything and will pay me back.

He keeps guests in the dining room playing table top games the whole time except when they're eating. They don't get a chance to go sit on the couch for a bit or anything like that. The chairs in the dining room are painful to sit on, as are the chairs in the kitchen which is where we eat. He doesn't provide drinks/snacks, etc. just a single, large meal that he expects to be spread out through the evening.

He says it's ONLY because we live about an hour away, and I tried to say that if we made our home more welcoming and more worth the trip then the distance would matter less but he kept saying that wasn't what I was saying because I didn't say it in exactly the words he wanted it said in.

I hate The Script.

I stopped talking to him again.

-

He was saying this morning that his dreams aren't fun anymore after ruining his hearing on the 4th of July by being outside for hours one house away from where the neighbors were setting off mortars (this is not an exaggeration, they buy the big fireworks that are meant for shows and to be set off far, far across a field from spectators and set them off one house away in the street) without hearing protection.

That's kind of interesting. I wonder if the signals he's getting from his damaged ears are affecting the content of his dreams or if it's that he did something foolish thinking that he would be unaffected because he's Special and experienced a consequence.

-

I had a weird dream last night myself.

Scott suddenly showed up and then came onto me and I was surprised but not at all opposed to the idea. We were in the kitchen and I was wearing matching bra and panties set which is not something I have ever done in my life, and then That Guy walked in wearing those heavy duty orangey work coveralls and a beanie which he has never done manual labor in his life so we were all wearing weird shit.

Scott was like "Hold on I'm going to go out to the car and get my clothes" intending to come back and talk to That Guy explaining that That Guy shouldn't be mad at me for it.

That Guy rounded up a couple of our old army friends whom we haven't seen in over 20 years to beat Scott up but when Scott stood up he towered over all of them.

That Guy says he's 5'11" but he's eye to eye with my mom and she's 5'7". Scott IS 6'4. I can confirm.

Then I was in a public bathroom that was in my house trying to text Scott to not come back in and try to talk to That Guy because they were going to try to fight him but I couldn't spell the words right in the text. I didn't want Scott knocking those other guys around too hard.

Then I was trying to talk That Guy into not starting a fight, saying shouldn't he be mad at ME instead since out of the two of us (Scott and me) I was the one in a relationship and getting handsy with someone else.

That Guy was like "No, it's not your fault. He said he just showed up unexpected and surprised you so...."

It was one of those dreams that I woke up from like "What???????" with a general sense of exasperation.

[l3monsoda]

My roommate told me I had too many clothes the other day. I was shocked because actually I'm in desperate need of some more work clothes. A lot of mine have been worn down and had to be thrown out. But then I realized why she said that. All my clothes have been out and in piles all over my bedroom instead of folded sorted and put away. This was because lately I've been too sick to actually fold and sort my laundry after I get it washed. Such a simple thing, usually only takes 20 minutes with just a single load but it was 20 minutes of standing time I simply didn't have in me lately. Not a big deal here and there but laundry basket after laundry basket and finally basically my entire wardrobe was not in my dresser or closet but all over every surface in my bedroom stacked in piles and baskets and hampers and impossible to find anything.

And I got to thinking that's what the offseason is. Those particularly nasty times of year when your chronic illness is actually just literally kicking you in the ass and all you can do is get through the day doing the bare minimum to make it to another one. It's piles of laundry that were at least washed but not put away taking over every surface of your bedroom. It's just one set of clean dishes in the house at all times and stacks and stacks of dirty ones. It's microwave meals instead of home cooked because you can't stand up long enough to prep or cook them. It's dust gathered in the corners of your stairs and bathroom. It's going a week or more without a shower because you're afraid you'll pass out if you take one. It's abandoned litter boxes until you just throw the whole thing out and get started fresh instead of scooping them. It's unvacuumed floors and discarded water bottles all over everywhere.

I used to get so frustrated and depressed when these times came. Used to beat myself up for all the things I wasn't getting done. I used to get so frustrated and disgusted with myself. How could I live like this? What was I doing? Did I want to be a slob for the rest of my life? But now I know better. I know that as long as I do what I have to to take care of myself I will have good days again. On the good days I'll take care of things that have been sliding on the bad ones. Nothing is forever not even this, and it's okay if everything's a little messy. Right now I have to take care of me and contrary to what our capitalistic minimalist aesthetic obsessed society might have us think sometimes taking care of me means living in a little bit of mess.

[mythoughtsbysms]

Surprise - Part 1

January 29th, 2023

It’s been a little over a week since your date with Matt. Everything has been going great between you two. You’ve been texting each other almost daily to see how you're doing and what’s been going on in life and his tours. 

Morning

It’s 6:45 am and you get up from bed. You open the curtains and opened the window to let some fresh air inside. You walk to the kitchen to make yourself a hot matcha latte and an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich with a side of cut-up strawberries and blueberries. After making your breakfast, you go into your office to package some orders that people ordered over the weekend. 

You have been selling art and cards on your website for the last few weeks and you are very happy. You were worried that this wouldn’t work out however, you built your confidence and went for it and it ended up working out in your favor. People love your work and have been posting it on Instagram telling people how much they love your products. You wanted to share the love of art with others and the fact that people love your work - brings a smile to your face.

Four hours later, you finished up your orders and went into the kitchen to make yourself an iced chai tea latte with a rice cake with almond butter and honey on top. It’s quick, simple, and very good. 

You went into your room to get ready for the day. It was Sunday and you wanted to get things done around the house like a reset so this coming week you don’t feel overwhelmed by the little mess throughout the home. You put on a cozy set from [ your favorite place ] and put your hair up with a claw clip. 

Before starting, you created a list of tasks you want to get done:

To-Do:

make the bed

throw dirty clothes in the basket

vacuum floors

clean bathroom

start laundry

place dirty dishes in the dishwasher

clean the kitchen

clean the living room

wipe down the table

dust everywhere

You started from your bedroom since you were there and took it one task at a time. It felt nice cleaning up because it was doing something rather than nothing at all. Cleaning helps you sometimes because it can calm your nerves. 

Afternoon

You’ve been cleaning for hours (with breaks) and you were very tired. However, the place is cleaned up and you feel great! You were relaxing on the couch with an iced latte when you get a text from Matt.

Matt: Hey Y/N! How’s it going?

Y/N: It’s going great! I cleaned my whole apartment because I was starting to get overwhelmed by the small messes throughout it. How are you?

Matt: Wow! I bet it feels great. I’m doing good. I wanted to tell you something. It’s a surprise. 

Y/N: Oh! what’s the surprise?

Matt: I’m stopping by to visit you! I missed you since our date night and wanted to spend some time with you.

Y/N: Oh my gosh! That’s amazing. I missed you too. I’m so excited to see you again.

Matt: Yeah. I’m going to be in the area on February 1st. Do you want to meet up around 9:00 am to get a coffee and something to eat?

Y/N: Yes! I do have to work a little bit in the morning however, I can do 9:00 am.

Matt: Awesome! I’m excited to see you. This is the first part of the surprise. I’ll tell you the second part when I see you on the 1st.

Y/N: Oh... there's a second part? I miss you too!

Matt: Yes, but you will love it! It’s a good surprise. I know you don’t like surprises.

Y/N: Okay. As long as it's a good surprise - I'm okay!

After putting the phone down, you were thinking about what the second part of the surprise would be. However, you knew if you think about it for too long, it makes you anxious. You decided instead of thinking about it, you went to grab your art supplies and start creating work.

You made yourself dinner and started to get ready for bed. You were very tired from cleaning the whole apartment and you were mentally tired from drawing. You were ready for bed and fell asleep very quickly once you got into bed.

[anxiouspregnantlady]

38+4

counting downnnnnn downnnn downnnnnn.....

These couple weeks are insane. Nothing quite like it. Trying hard not to hope that labor will start at any moment, but hoping anyway. But also feeling as if one should be grateful for the calm before the storm. I think we are more or less all settled and ready for baby. We have a crib in our room and a bassinet in our closet. A bouncer, a swing, a boppy lounger, two breastfeeding pillows, a carseat and caddy, a stroller bassinet, a changing table, two diaper pails. 9 onesies. Somehow located our electric nail file thing. Cloth diaper laundry is done, disposable diapers are bought, breast pump is set up and random breastfeeding accessories and bottles have been sterilized. I keep trying to clean the house but it continues to get messier and dirtier with each day that we dare to live in it.

Purchases that I'm still thinking about - manual breast pump, afterease, windii - but those are pretty small

I think at this point I need to just REST. and RELAX.

I want to treat myself to

sweetgreen (strange late pregnancy craving is salad. Super bizarre. I am usually ANTI-salad.)

hardenas (indonesian home foods. all the sambal eggplant and coconut curry veg in the whole world please)

federal donut

really excited for my parents to arrive in two days(!)

am knitting (now working on a hat for P), reading, watching youtube... organized and edited my fall winter wardrobe, which i am SO excited to access at least partially in the next three months. I wake up and decide between two pairs of maternity leggings - which is less smelly/dirty essentially, and I usually end up washing them a couple times between laundry days anyway. I keep peeing on them. i have been wearing a couple of my nice sweaters which has felt good, though I can't really tuck them in nicely. And i am VERY grateful for these maternity leggings and also so glad I ended up buying a second pair. BUT I AM SO DONE with dressing this belly.

dear mei mei. WHO ARE YOU!? what will you look like? I can't wait to hold you and kiss you in the flesh. your mama, baba, and jiejie are anxiously waiting for you but i know you will come when you are ready my love. You have made the year 2024 quite special. You are dragon baby. I have waited this long. I can wait another week or so.

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 12.7.24

Dream 1: SM and I were in my room and we noticed that one of our regular customers (a middle aged male) was sleeping on the ground on the left side of the bed. We were standing there worried because he looked cold as he didn't have a blanket. I started trying to look for one in the wardrobe but there wasn't one, only things that could be used in place of one, like bed sheets and big articles of clothing. It might have done the job but I didn't want to use it for this man because he might make it dirty. I didn't want my clean things to touch him. For some reason, I felt that he was dirty like a homeless man. It was as if he had stumbled into the house without knowing where he was and just found somewhere random to sleep, I didn't know why he was there. In this dream, SM was helping me with the 'problem' and we both very focused on it. Lying on the actual bed was my sister and I think she was on the verge of sleep. I tried to ask her where the household blankets are kept but as she was almost asleep, or (because I also saw her with her phone out) too busy concentrating on constructing a text message to hear me. I kept repeating the question over and over that I became annoyed because there was still no reply. I got the feeling like she had just come home from a late night out. It seemed as if both her and the random man on the floor were drunk or something. Then finally she said to me, Oh I was gonna clean them (all the blankets we had were dirty), I was gonna put them in the laundry when I got home but didn't get a chance. I felt okay about putting a dirty one on the man but my sister never told me where the darned things were. Anyway turns out the man hadn't actually been asleep and was just faking and listening to our conversation because SM said, Look he's awake. I saw that the man was smiling in his 'sleep'. I think he was quite amused by the whole situation. We just quickly put something on him to keep him warm, I don't know what.

Dream 2: SM and I were messaging each other, talking in depth about something. We hadn't talked like this in a long time so there was a feeling of trepidation and awkwardness. He was sending a whole bunch of paragraphs about how he felt about something that had happened. I tried to reply, but I was having trouble typing. I couldn’t make the words flow and the sentences came out disjointed, like a child’s response. When I hit the send button, the response turned out like I was slurring because I was drunk, or maybe it seemed like I was mocking him but in all honestly I had tried my best. While I was writing the message, he was still sending me more messages but this time it was pictures of poetry or lines from novels. Irl, it reminds me exactly of the types of posts that I re-blog on my other blog. After I had sent my 'drunken' response, I saw that he deleted the last few images that'd sent, but not before I read them. One of them was a quote, which I don't remember but it something about 'love, forever'. They were all romantic but that was the most revealing one of the lot. Maybe I brushed it off, IDK, and I think after awhile I was able to respond to him normally toward the topic at hand.

[adhddbt]

That was only three minutes of exercise? It felt like a lot! But that's... probably a good thing. I didn't slack off. I packed a lot in. Okay, I'll think about adding more over time.

So, to add even more good news to this, I spent a solid hour decluttering the dining table (always weeks overdue, for real. It's a very hot, hot spot), and a little puttering, required for dealing w/ the table.

Then I did the quick workout. (It's not little. It's fast and compact.)

So I'm contemplating...

Some more context to my productivity today. Thursday, I had a pretty in-depth peer meeting with a DBT classmate dealing with ADHD very much on the same level as me. Clutter was at the top of our list. *Cleaning* isn't a real barrier itself. That part is easy. I'm very motivated (as is my peer) to clean surfaces and really get in there and deal with gunk. Honestly, any part of the house, even the bathroom. The TRUE barrier/difficulty/hurdle/uphill battle is the stuff- the things, objects that are all over the place, in the way of getting (more of) the cleaning done. I'd love to keep all of the floors clean. Not OCD level, I'm not that impressive. But each week, clean the whole floor of one room. (In addition to dishes, laundry, and whatnot) No problem. Same with tables. I'd keep the dining table so nice- without junk all over it to begin with. Anyhow, these hot spots (a term my peer used, which I like) are now on my hitlist, including the two or three piles piles of clean(!) laundry. (There is honestly a rotating (one!) pile of dirty laundry, too, but that's a longer term solution, requiring more steps. I gotta focus on the larger quantity of clean laundry that needs more and better places to go. OK, blah, blah, blah...

[bl6ckr0s3]

Still Dealing w/ Reality Pt. 2

Just as Joshua was telling me that he wasn't going to make enough money to rent the U-Haul truck for our move out, I realized that I would be able to just take several boxes on my trip to Pomona, drop them off at the storage unit, & head back to my family's house to spend the remainder of my time with my son for the day. Monday is New Year's Day observed so it's a paid holiday which means that I don't have to go to work on Monday. For some reason, I kept thinking today was Tuesday, so I kept expecting that I was going to get paid, but no I forgot it's still Monday, which I'm not getting paid yet. I tried to get some things done, but i ended up not leaving the house until 1pm. I wanted to get laundry washed because this was going to be the last time we can get our clothes washed before we are out, so I took care of the dirty clothes as well as the few whites. I also got Lim's pillows from his basinet washed so they will be nice and clean when he gets to use them again at the family home.

I needed Joshua to help me with gas, so I had to take his debit card, run to the gas station to put some gas in, then run on back right after making a quick run to Burger King for him to get him some food because that was gonna be his only meal for the day. I didn't eat yet, so I know there is going to be food at the house, so I didn't have him get me any food at all. I rather him saved some money so that I could just have some free food at my family's home later.

It's supposed to be raining this whole week & it has been raining different times every day. Yesterday, it rained for a bit during the early evening while I was at the family's, but thankfully it stopped later on, so I didn't have to deal with it when I was driving Lim home. When I got to my family's home and had lunch, Lim was already passed out, so I was able to chill just for a little while, then I ended up passing out on the bed. The curtain rod had a missing screw that came off loose from the wall and the shit is just hanging off halfway on the wall. It's really annoying to look at, knowing that that shit can be pulled down by Lim each time he climbs up there to mess around the window area. I think it needs a new curtain and a whole new rod for that window.

My sister told me that the night before when she changed Lim's diaper and she ended up passing out an hour after, Lim came back and tried to wake her up. She couldn't understand why he wouldn't go to sleep, but he ended up breaking up into a bad diaper rash. It was so bad that it was hurting him when I kept trying to put diaper rash ointment on him. It sucks because my sister doesn't always change his diaper when she should so sometimes he ends up with bad diaper rashes when she's helping me watch him. Sadly, I don't have enough money to provide his food and me and Josh are suppose to be moving out anytime now from Beck Park Apts. so leaving Lim at my family's home was the best decision because he has everything he needs there regarding food and milk. I didn't even have money for jack shit. For that very same reason was why I felt that I had to take Lim home later on that night because it would've been difficult having to drop him off at the daycare the next day in the afternoon and then dealing with all the bullshit traffic and being in a rush if we had to get the move done. I'm most likely having to call off work in that case just to get the shit done, so I was really sad that I couldn't keep Lim until the next day. I wanted to take care of him and make sure he returns to his father in better condition, instead of having to deal with his father blaming me for being a bad mother every time something bad happens with Lim. My sister thinks and blames the quality of the diaper on his rashes, too. She said my mom use to buy me Huggies all the time when I was a baby, and I never broke out in any rashes even if she left the diapers on me long.

That's not supposed to be the point. The point is that my baby ends up getting bad rashes because my sister doesn't change his diapers often the way I do. I reminded her many times that he needs to be changed every 2-3 hours, but at the same time it's not really her responsibility in the first place. Other than that, my sister is really good with making sure he's fed. Poor Lim was in so much pain every time I was trying to put the ointment and spray on him, I felt so bad. It's not the first time he had a diaper rash, but those were one of the worst ones I seen on him. I know now that I will have to invest in good quality diapers for him especially if my sister ends up watching him so that it will reduce the chances of him having a break out like that again. It was all I can think about as I was driving him back to his father, dealing with the father's blame gets pretty damn old. He's still bitching about getting fully paid back for the daycare. He doesn't want to pull out Lim from daycare, he states that the program he's going through is really helping him, and he's still expecting that I help cover the cost regardless of how much I am struggling financially right now. Me & Josh just lost our apartment, but of course he doesn't know that. He thinks that I have moved back with my family all this time ever since I moved away from San Bernardino. I rather keep it that way until the day me and Josh either move out of state or if we actually got settled and found a permanent home to stay in for the remainder of our lives. I never wanted Ricky to know where I really lived, it's good enough he knows that my son is with my family most of the time.

Ricky is taking a 2 week vacation at the very end of February. What he's planning to do those 2 weeks, most likely going to go somewhere on a trip with Wilma so that they can take a break. He just told me that Lim will be staying with me at my family's the whole time, so that at least I'll be able to have a lot of time with my son during those times. I missed my son a lot. I didn't get to spend the time I wanted to with him as I should because of my housing situation. No matter how many times Joshua apologizes for making us homeless, the great news is that he found out about this app called WIN (What I Need) specifically that helps provides information and resources for people who are homeless in Los Angeles. One of the riders that Joshua took on his Uber trip, the rider was nice enough to give him info about that as well as telling us that in Malibu Beach where Joshua took me to show me where he filmed 'This Place Is a Prison' music video, they actually allow people to stay there and sleep in their cars as well as use the restroom and shower. I didn't know they had showers there, but apparently they do for the campers. The rider also stated that there's a Motel 6 in Thousand Oaks that has the cheapest rate to stay at for $55 a night, which isn't bad at all. The person stated that when they first came to Los Angeles, they were homeless as well until they were able to get on their feet. Joshua was looking up mobile homes in Bakersfield and even in El Monte. They were definitely cheap, but it will be hard for somebody to give us a chance since we have an eviction on our record now. Somebody out there should give us a chance especially if they desperately need money.

[marvelous-harry]

A blurb where Harry is away for work n so is Florence but reader has book meetings so can’t go with any of them, one of them coming back on break surprise after a few weeks and reader hasn’t been taken care of herself at all like no food in fridge, being very concerned reader begging not to tell the other, angst

Home Alone Harry/Florence/Reader Words: 1.9K Summary: With Harry off on tour and Florence off shooting a movie, a series of meetings for your upcoming book leaves you home alone in London for a few weeks... it results in a lot of takeaways.

Jerking awake as I heard a noise, I sat up and looked around the bedroom, my heart racing in my chest. Hearing another noise, I dived onto the other side of the bed and pulled out the giant knife I had put under it before holding it up as I jumped out of the bed.

Quickly grabbing my phone, I ran over to the bathroom and closed the door, locking it quickly. My hands shook as I tried to get it open and dial 999.

The door to the bedroom squeaked as it was opened.

"I called the police!! And I have a knife!" I screamed as aimed the knife at the door.

"Oh god, babe. It's me!" Harry called out as he rushed over to the door. "It's okay, it's just me. Please tell the police not to come,"

Putting the knife down, I opened the door and punched Harry in the arm hard. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Almost gave me a heart attack!" I groaned as I clutched my chest and took a deep breath. "Fuck,"

"I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to scare you just surprise you. Surprise!" Harry said as he opened his arms.

Taking a step closer, I hugged him tightly. "I'm very surprised. I've missed you!" I mumbled as I breathed in the smell of him.

"Did you tell the police to not come?" Harry asked as he rubbed my back.

"I never actually got as far to call them. My hands were shaking so bad, I think I only managed to dial 9," I replied as I looked at him with a smile. "For how long are you home?"

Harry smiled back and stroked my cheek. "Just a night. Have to fly out tomorrow at 3,"

"Not very long," I said as I tried to keep the smile on my face. For a split second, I almost wished he hadn't come cause now I had to say goodbye to him again. "What time is it anyway? I was sleeping when you tried to kill me," I pulled back and walked over to the bed.

"It's four in the afternoon, why were you asleep?" Harry asked as he stepped into the bathroom to grab the knife. Making a note of the mess, he turned off the light and looked around the bedroom, noting the mess in there too.

"I might have fucked up my days and nights a little," I said quietly as I grabbed the chocolate wrapper on the bed and threw it into the bin, blushing as I saw all the other empty wrappers in it.

"Why are you staying up so late? You can't be sleeping all day. It's not good for you," Harry asked as he came over and put the knife on the nightstand before taking a seat next to me.

I shrugged and looked down into my lap.

"Are you having nightmares? Staying up late watching tv?" he asked as he put an arm around me.

"Your shows don't start before 2 or 3 usually and then I'm too excited after it ends so I usually stay awake an hour after it ends," I whispered.

"Baby," Harry said as he made me look at him. "That's why you're staying up? You've seen the show in person several times and you'll be seeing it several times more. It's very sweet but you need your sleep,"

"It's different!" I protested. "I have to see what you're gonna wear and every show is slightly different! And what if something happens? I need to know. I want to see every show. I feel like I'm there with you when I'm watching and I don't miss you as much,"

Harry sighed as he pulled me in for a hug. "Baby,"

I whined as I snuggled close. "Don't be mad! I haven't broken any rules so you can't be mad!" I told him as my stomach rumbled loudly.

"We'll discuss this later cause you can't keep staying up all night. Let's go downstairs and I'll cook us something," Harry said as he gave me a little kiss before standing. "Let's bring down the garbage that's up here so we can throw it out, and let's open a window cause it's very stuffy,"

"Okay," I mumbled as I walked over to the windows and cracked it open. Picking up the bin, I picked up a few more pieces of garbage before following Harry downstairs.

"We can order in? I'd love Chinese. Or Indian!" I quickly spoke up as I remember the state of the kitchen and the fridge. "You don't have to cook, you just got here," I smiled and grabbed his hand.

"It's okay. I'd love a home-cooked meal," Harry smiled as he walked into the kitchen.

"Okay, so, don't be mad," I said as I put the bin down and walked into the kitchen with him. Dirty dishes were overflowing in the sink and there were two bags of garbage just sitting on the floor, plus there was a stack of pizza boxes on the counter.

Harry took in the mess before heading to the fridge. Opening he saw that it mostly held just drinks and condiments, nothing to make a decent meal out of.

I bit my lip as I watched Harry close the fridge before moving silently over to the garbage. He counted the pizza boxes and looked at the bags which clearly showed all the takeaway containers.

"Baby," Harry sighed as he turned around and looked at me.

"I said don't be mad!" I whimpered as I pulled down the sleeves on my jumper and hid my hands inside.

"I'm not mad but I am worried. You're not getting good sleep and you're clearly not eating too good. The house is a mess," He looked at me concerned. "Are you okay? Have you been outside any? Gotten fresh air?"

I could feel tears stinging in my eyes and I had to look away cause I couldn't deal with the disappointment in his eyes.

"Come here," He said as he took a seat by the kitchen table and pulled up a chair opposite him.

Sniffling, I walked over and took a seat - looking down the whole time.

"Your health and well-being are one of the most important things to me. The habits that you've got going on right now aren't good for you, baby. You can't keep doing what you're doing," Harry said in a very determined tone.

"Please don't tell Florence," I sniffled as I looked at him. "I'll stop. I won't do it anymore, I'll do better but don't tell her," I asked him.

Harry smiled as he stroked my cheek. "We don't keep secrets from each other. You know that,"

Whimpering, I leaned against him and let out a little cry. "She'll be upset too. I didn't mean for it to happen but it's too difficult. I don't like being alone, I can't do it"

Harry wrapped his hands around me and swayed us back and forth lightly. "I know, baby, I know," he whispered. "I'm going to fix it,"

A few minutes later when I'd stopped crying and my stomach was rumbling even louder, Harry pulled back. "I'm going to order us some food. Can you be a good girl and take out all the garbage?" he asked with a smile.

Wiping my eyes on the sleeves of my jumper, I nodded. "Okay,"

Standing up, I grabbed the garbage bags by the counter and put them by the door before I started collecting everything else around the house. It was embarrassing just how much I ended up collecting and how many trips I had to take outside to get rid of it all.

Once I was done, I could hear Harry upstairs in the laundry room so I walked up the stairs slowly. As I stood at the top of the stairs, I sighed before walking into the bedroom instead of walking over to Harry. The bed had been stripped and the duvet was hanging out the window getting aired out.

"Fuck," I whispered as my eyes welled up with tears yet again. Hearing the door to the laundry room close, I sniffled and quickly wiped my eyes before turning around as Harry walked in.

"Food should be here within the hour. You okay?" Harry asked as he put the fresh sheets and blankets down on the bed.

"I'm fine," I replied as I tried giving him a smile.

Harry came over and put his hands around my waist. "Want to try again?"

I could feel my bottom lip trembling as I played with his cross necklace. "I'm really sorry," I stammered out. "You came all this way and I've ruined our time together cause I'm too stupid to function alone," I quickly put my hands over my eyes as I let out a sob.

Harry pulled me in for a tight hug. "Baby, you didn't ruin anything and you're not stupid!" he said firmly. "Do you hear me? You're so smart and clever. Plus any time I spend with you is priceless to me, it doesn't matter what we're doing,"

"You only have one meeting left right? Then you're going to come stay with me for a bit then you'll go see Florence. I'll talk to her about what's been going on so we can figure out the best way for you to be safe and happy at home until then," Harry told me as he rubbed my back.

I let out a loud sob and grasped onto him tightly. "No! I want to come with you now! I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't care about the meetings! Please don't leave me!" I cried.

Harry led me over to the bed so we could sit down and cuddle. "It'll be okay, I promise. We'll figure something out,"

--

"I'll see you in a week," Harry said as he stroked my cheek.

I nodded and gave him a little smile. "It'll go by fast I'm sure. Be there in no time, jet-lagged and ready to complain about the long flight,"

He glanced at his phone as it buzzed. "I can't wait. Remember, I've made you some meals, you can order takeaway one time and try and go to sleep at a decent hour," Harry smiled as he gave me a hug.

"I'll try," I whispered as I closed my eyes and hugged him as tightly as I could. "Now go! You don't want to keep your driver waiting!" I said as I pulled back and put my hands in my pockets.

"I love you," Harry said softly as he leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss.

Smiling, I kissed him back. "I love you too," I replied as he pulled back.

Harry picked up his little bag and opened the door. "7 days," he said as he stepped out.

"7 days," I said and watched him get into the car. Waving at him, I blew him a kiss before they disappeared from view. "It's just 7 days," I whispered as I closed the front door and locked it.

Turning off all the lights I grabbed the knife from the kitchen and headed upstairs. Crawling into bed, I ignored the tears running down my cheek as I put the knife back under the pillow and pulled the blankets over me. It was going to be a long week.

[sweetyyhippyy]

Alone at Last. Spencer Reid x Female Reader. Part 2.

(Not my gif)

Summary: A few months after *part 1*. Spencer and his wife take advantage of an empty house while the kids are at school. 

TW: Mentions of taking a pregnancy test. Sex with the possibility of getting caught. Oral sex (female receiving). Fingering. Calling Spencer “sir”. Almost getting caught during sex. Mirror sex. Hair pulling. Dirty talk. Praising. Breeding. Creampie.

Word Count: 2.6k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 She picked up the white stick from the counter, frowning at the word “NEGATIVE” that was displayed on the screen.

With a heavy sigh she threw the plastic stick away in the trash, washing her hands and going out to start her morning. Her kids still had at least 45 more minutes before they had to get up which was long enough to get their breakfast cooking.

Spencer was away on a case out of state, which meant that getting both of the kids up, fed, and to school was all up to her.

As she went down the stairs she could hear shuffling going on in the kitchen and the smell of fresh brewing coffee. She peeked around the corner hesitant at first, until she recognized the back of her husband’s head.

“You’re home!” She cheers quietly, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him from behind.

“I wanted to surprise you and the kids. I got in about an hour ago.” He quickly turns around and takes his wife’s face in his hands, kissing her softly. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” She responds, resting her head against his chest. “I um… took a test this morning.” She starts.

“Yeah?”

She looks up at Spencer and bites her bottom lip, looking displeased.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry.” Spencer says, rubbing her lower back in comfort.

“It’s been months that we’ve been trying. We didn’t have this much trouble getting pregnant with Jason and Valerie.”

“Well, with them we were younger.”

“Are you saying I’m old?” She asks, not being able to contain the laugh that was on her face.

Spencer’s eyes widen, realizing his mistake right away. “No! No! No, I’m just saying that you just turned 33 so it’s going to be harder to get pregnant. We were both in our early 20s when we had Jason.”

She sighs and nods her head. “I know. I just… I want a baby now.”

Spencer kisses her forehead and brings her in for another hug. “We’ll have another, sweetheart. But in the meantime, we get to make the baby and I know you enjoy doing that.” He whispers.

“Spencer Reid, it is 5:30 in the morning are you really trying to do this now?”

“I am.” He backs his wife against the counter and lifts her up, making her sit against the countertop.

“Spencer! We eat and cook on this counter!”

“And I’m about to eat too.”

She can’t help but laugh, covering her face with her hands and Spencer wastes no time with pulling her shorts down her hips and instantly licking a long stripe up her pussy. “Fuck!” She moans quietly, her fingers intertwining his hair. “I-I know you like doing that, and-fuck- I love when you eat me out too.” She gets lost in her train of thought as Spencer flicks his tongue back and forth against her clit, making her whole body go weak. “Oh my god!” She whisper yells. “We don’t have time for this if you’re going to fuck me.”

Spencer gives a few more licks before coming up and meeting her face to face.

“Come here.” She says, kissing his lips harshly.

Spencer took advantage of the fact his wife’s legs were open, taking his fingers and slicking his fingers up and down her folds, touching the wetness and slipping his fingers in.

“Spencer!” She whines, her head falling back.

Spencer kisses her neck, lightly nipping at the skin, making her yelp a little too loudly.

She covers her mouth with her hand, stifling a laugh.

“Shhh, so loud.” Spencer teases, a smile on his face.

“We have maybe 20 more minutes before the kids need to be up. We need to hurry this along.”

“Oh, so romantic baby.” Spencer says with sarcasm laced in his voice.

She hops off the counter and turns her back to him, bending over the counter. “I’m all about the romance.” She smirks, letting her shorts fall down around her ankles.

Spencer quickly fishes his cock from the zipper, stroking himself a few times before guiding himself in, a throaty groan coming from him. “Fuck baby, so wet.”

“You know you can just look at me and I get wet.” She whispers, clinging onto a clean dishrag on the counter.

Spencer kept a nice steady pace as he gripped both sides of her hips, railing into her. “You take me so well, baby.”

His wife hums in response, letting out a string of broken sobs, careful not to moan too loudly. “Baby, harder and please! I need more.”

Spencer gives her ass one harsh slap, making her yelp again. “You think you can take my cock going harder into you?” He asks, grabbing the ponytail that was going down her back and yanks it back.

“Yes sir! Yes I can take it!”

Spencer fucks into her harder, holding both of her shoulders for balance. “Sir? That’s the route you wanna go, darling?”

Just as she’s about to answer they hear a door open from upstairs followed by footsteps.

“Shit! No!” She cusses as Spencer reluctantly pulls out and helps his wife pick her shorts up and fixes them for her.

Spencer turns around to situate himself, trying to hide the evidence of what they were just doing.

She grabs the disinfectant spray and a paper towel, wiping the counter off as their son makes his way down the stairs. “Hi sweetheart.” She calls out to him.

He continues to rub the sleep out of his eyes until he sees his dad. “Dad! You’re home!” He runs to him, Spencer embracing him for a hug.

“Hey buddy.” Spencer says, holding his first born.

“Is your sister awake?” She asks Jason.

“I don’t know. I had to wake up because I heard sounds and didn’t know what it was. And then I had to go to the bathroom.”

Spencer and his wife make eye contact, his wife trying to hide the smile on her face.

“I’m going to go upstairs and wake her.”

“I’ll start on some eggs and pancakes for you guys, what do you think bud?”

She watches as Jason looks up at Spencer and nods his head, hearing him ask if he could help which made her heart feel full.

As she climbs upstairs she can feel the dull aching between her legs, something the both of them were going to have to take care of once the kids were at school.

***

“But mommy, daddy’s home! Why can’t we stay home?” Valerie asks from the back seat.

“Because you guys have to go to school. Daddy will be home when school is done.”

“But we missed him!”

“Honey, I know. I missed him too, but you guys have school, and I have work so I can’t hang out with daddy either.”

A slight lie. She did have work, but the kids didn’t need to know she took a “sick” day.

She looks back in the rear view mirror, both of her kids with a matching pout on their faces, ones that also matched Spencer’s pout. “Listen, if we go to school today, and you guys have a good day, maybe I’ll bust you guys out early on Friday and we can all go somewhere fun for the weekend. Does that sound like a plan?”

“Where are we going to go?” Jason asks.

“I don’t know, we can all talk about it as a family if you guys have a good day at school today. Can we do that?”

“Okay mommy!” Valerie says loudly, a smile on her face.

“Okay.” Jason says with not as much enthusiasm as his sister.

She pulls up to the parent drop off line at school, hearing both of the kids undoing their seat belts and gathering their stuff up. “Have a good day babies, I love you.”

Both kids give her a kiss on the cheek before scooting out the car door and walking hand and hand with each other to the school.

***

She makes her way up to their bedroom, ready to pick up where she and Spencer left off this morning, only to find him fast asleep under the sheets, soft little snores filling the room. She can’t help but smile at how adorable he looked hugging one of her pillows into his chest. Slowly she closes the door and goes back downstairs to clean the mess from breakfast and start some of Spencer’s laundry from his go bag.

After a few hours of cleaning up the kitchen and catching up on some laundry, she was beyond ready for a shower. She heads upstairs, quietly gathering new clothes while Spencer slept.

When she steps out of the shower she spots Spencer leaning against the sink, making her slightly jump. “You scared me.” She says, grabbing the towel and drying herself off.

“Come here.” He says, motioning her over with his hands.

She cocks her eyebrow at him and walks over to him, the towel pressed against the bottom of her face as she tries to dry it off.

“I need you.” He says, pressing her against himself.

“Yeah? Are we going to pick up where we left off this morning?” She asks, wrapping both of her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

His body buzzed at the feeling of how wet and warm her body was against his. “Do you remember where we left off?”

“You’re the one with an eidetic memory. Why don’t you tell me? Or better yet, show me where we were… sir.” She smirks.

Spencer turns her around, her back facing him while facing the mirror. “You want me to show you, baby?” He whispers in her ear, his fingers dipping in between her legs.

“Fuck!” She moans, gripping his forearm.

“Look at that, just out of the shower and you’re already wet for me.” He growls, nipping at her neck. His fingers quickly rub at her clit, feeling how hard he was getting as he heard her moaning and felt her ass pressed against his crotch.

“Spencer, fuck me please. Please baby, please.” She was desperate to feel him inside her again after this morning.

“Yeah, baby.” He groans, taking his sweatpants off to his ankles and sliding himself in painfully slow.

Both of them moan as he doesn’t miss a beat with thrusting into her in a good steady rhythm.

“Fuck that’s so good sir.” She says, looking back at him in the mirror.

Spencer takes a fistful of her hair and holds her head up, forcing her to look back at herself. “Look at you. You like looking at me fuck you? You like that, baby?” He grunts out, giving her ass a smack.

“Yes! Yes I love it! I fucking love it!” She moans back, holding the counter of the sink so she didn’t fall over. She loved watching Spencer look at her through the mirror and seeing how his mouth fell open while he railed into her, hunger in his eyes.

Spencer pulls back, turning his wife around and taking her face in his hands and kissing her harshly.

She wraps her arms around his neck while he lifts her up to sit on the counter, pulling back from the kiss. She opens her legs and smiles as  Spencer slides back in and instantly begins snapping his hips back and forth. Her own hips meet his thrusts, making her whimper as her bottoms her out. “Keep going sir!”

“Yeah baby. You’re doing such a good job taking my fucking cock baby. Such a good girl.” He says into her mouth, kissing her again. “Come here.” Spencer pulls her off the counter and brings her over to the edge of the tub, sitting on it.

She climbs onto his lap, sliding onto his cock with a pathetic whimper. She rests her forehead on his as she begins to grind herself against him, biting her lip.

Spencer grabs onto her ass and helps her fuck herself on him. He stares into her eyes, seeing her slowly fall apart on top of him. He pulls her damp hair back from her face, holding it at the back of her head. “That’s my girl. Yeah, you like fucking me don’t you?

“Yes!” She breathes out heavily. “Yes I fucking love it! Fuck you’re so deep in me sir.”

“That way I can cum deep inside you and put a baby in you. You want my baby inside you?”

“Yes I want you to give me a baby!” She almost yells, her voice echoing through the room.

Spencer kisses her lips, letting her hair go and letting it flow down her back. “You’re going to cum, aren’t you little one? You’re going to cum for me?”

She nods her head and bites her bottom lip again.

“Up. Let me fuck you.”

She stands up and sits back on the counter, massaging her clit as Spencer slides back into her.

His fingers replace hers and continues the circles. “Does that feel good? Do you like that?” He asks.

“Mmhmm! Don’t stop, please!”

“I’m not going to stop, sweetheart. I love seeing you fall apart all because I’m touching you.” He whispers, thrusting and massaging her.

She puts her hand on the back of Spencer’s neck and pulls his head closer to hers, kissing him deeply as her body begins to tingle.

It doesn’t take much more for her to fall apart against his cock and fingers, moans getting trapped between their lips.

Spencer pulls back, letting her moans fill the room while he still massages her. “I know baby, I know that felt so good.”

Between her clenching around his cock and hearing  her desperate and broken moans, Spencer could feel himself start to lose his composure. He swipes his thumb across her bottom lip as he touches her face lovingly. His hands didn’t leave his wife’s boobs as they bounced in his line of sight. “I’m going to cum, sweetheart.” He groans, sitting his eyes tight.

“Yeah baby. Cum inside me! Fill me up and make me feel good.” She coos.

He manages 2 more thrusts before shooting ropes inside his wife before stalling his movements. Deep throaty moans and grunts coming from him as he calms down.

She holds his body against hers, kissing his shoulder. “That was so good.” She half laughs.

Spencer pulls out slowly, kissing her lips as he does. “Come lay with me in bed.” Spencer says, helping her off the counter and taking her to their bed.

She cuddles into his side, nuzzling her head into his neck. “I love you Spence.”

“I love you too baby.” He responds, kissing her head. “Are you okay?”

“Mmhmm. Perfect.”

“Not too rough?”

She laughs and kisses his cheek. “Baby no. Just because we have kids doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy rough sex. Do you remember how we used to go at it before we had kids? It’s amazing how we didn’t have kids sooner.”

Spencer laughs. “Yeah we would probably have a whole sports team worth of kids at this point.”

“Can we take a nap?” She asks.

“Of course. And I’ll pick the kids up from school so that you don’t have to get out of bed.”

She grabs the bed sheets and covers both of them up, nuzzling closer to him. “I have such a good husband and father of my kids.”

Spencer puts his arm around her and rubs her shoulder until he hears her softly snoring next to him.

9 months later, Spencer would have two new babies to take care of alongside his wife: identical twin baby girls. Their house now up to 6.

[astaroth1357]

Brothers Finding Out a Lesser Demon with a Crush is “Moving In” on MC

You know, I like to show the good sides of our boys a lot… But how about the ugly for today? Let's let them just being mean, nasty, possessive little demons, huh? 

Full disclaimer: I almost didn’t post this because I received an answer post from @diavolosthots that ended up being distressingly similar to this idea about 3/4th of the way through drafting it. I’m posting it anyway because of the time I’ve already sunk into it but in exchange I will absolutely encourage you to read from @diavolosthots if you aren’t already. They’re a big reason why I’m making content to begin with and I love what they’ve done. Warning: their blog is a LOT less fluffy than mine (they probably wouldn't be into my stuff 😅) and has NSFW content so be prepared for that going in. If that’s not your thing then just give them a pass, cool?

Check out the Masterlist for more!

Warnings: Violence, Bullying, Cyberbullying, Cannibalism(?), Murder, Yandere-ish

This is all for the purposes of fantasy and in no way an endorsement for these behaviors in real life. Be nice (and smart) with your lives, my friends.

Lucifer

Is honestly offended for them.

Don’t they know the caliber of demon MC rubs elbows with every day? Do they honestly think they’d stand a chance? Any one of his brothers would be more deserving than some lesser demon suitor and that even INCLUDES Mammon.

But of course, the real reason they’d stand no chance is because he wants the MC too and he’s not planning on sharing with or losing to someone who isn’t even worthy to be stuck under his boot...

He may lay down some… “discreet” hints for the poor demon to look elsewhere.

Things like advising Diavolo to make some emergency changes to the classes at RAD so they no longer share any class together or watching the demon extra closely for any minute slip up he can flag them for. If he could have them expelled for a dress code violation, he’d do it no sweat.

Okay, "discreet hints…" Flagrant misuses of power… Same difference right?

He may never come right out and say they should leave MC alone (why dignify the guy with such a response?) but if looks could kill then his “competition” would be utterly decimated by now. Especially if he ever catches the two in the same room... Yikes.

Mammon

Oooo buddy, he ain’t happy. He doesn’t even like sharing with his brothers and now some rando wants a piece too?? Nuh-uh. No way.

Takes the more direct approach and just confronts the guy when the MC isn’t around. It's good for the demon that Mammon doesn’t like resorting to violence if he doesn’t have to. Heated words and a threat or two will be exchanged then they can go their separate ways.

That can be the end of it if the guy backs off (as anyone with sense should). But if not…

When he makes a threat, and he’s serious about it, Mammon makes good on them.

He’ll come back to the House one night a little beat up, maybe with a few nicks and scratches. Of course he’ll want the MC to play nurse for him and he’ll be delighted if they accept (even if his tsundere ass won’t say it).

The lesser demon apparently dropped out of RAD the next day. No explanation given. He didn’t even step foot back on the school grounds to do it...

Of course, everyone’s sure there’s no relation between the two. I mean, this is the same Mammon we’re talking about… right...?

Leviathan

It’s a miracle he even found out but now that he knows he’s pissed. He’s not the Avatar of Envy for nothing.

Look, he might be a shut-in and not worth all that much but he’s got to be better than some lesser demon guy! He’s the third born and he has a freaking navy for crying out loud!!

Will likely leave his room for the first time in who knows how long to follow the MC to RAD. Once he’s got a face to the name, that’s all he needs for his hatred to really get going...

He will make this dude’s life a living hell with the best tool a shut-in has, the Internet. 

He’ll dedicate a freaking week to digging up dirt on this bozo then start releasing it out to everywhere he frequents. Not a single sock of that dirty laundry is getting left out. All of his most embarrassing secrets are laid bare for the Devildom to see.

He’d cover his tracks, of course, so nothing can be traced back to him. The MC is probably none-the-wiser to who’s spreading all this hot gossip but his brothers know right away.

Once the dude’s social life and pride are in utter ruin, he’ll invite the MC over for a movie marathon to celebrate! He might even get a little more cuddly than usual... His MC is with him and that’s how it ought to be.

Satan

Pffft… That’s cute. Real cute they think they stand a chance. He’d wish them luck but he also kind of wants to stab them so…

On the one hand, he knows he probably shouldn’t waste his time but on the other he just can’t resist the call to absolute devastation that his inner rage is forcing on him...

His new goal is to utterly undermine the new competition in every way, mental and physical, which means he will take every opportunity he can to demonstrate just how much on another level he is. 

Gets nitpicky and corrects the guy’s every move. If he says something wrong in class, he’ll berate him for it. Make a social faux pas? Well now the whole school is going to know about it.

Doesn’t stop there, though. He will do everything in his power short of throwing the first punch to try and instigate a fight with the him. He knows that if he technically starts it then the punishment will be on him, but the other way around he can say, “Hey, he’s the one who punched Wrath incarnate. What was he expecting would happen?”

Any resulting fight between the two would be a very one-sided bloodbath. He will not hold back at all and stop when he damn well feels like. The guy will be in whatever the Devildom equivalent to a hospital is for weeks...

If the MC tries to ask him about his behavior, he’ll gaslight them and change the subject. He doesn’t really like indulging in the more violent side of himself in his day-to-day life but some things just can’t be helped, can they?

Asmodeus

Honestly not as bothered as the others are. He knows they stand zero chance, so why worry? It’s bad for the skin.

But that doesn’t mean he’s going to sit back and do nothing. Oh no, a zero chance could always become a one, even five percent chance if you’re not careful.

Asmo’s preferred method of ridding competition is like a mixture of Satan and Levi, but Oh. So. Much. Worse.

Lesser demons can be astonishingly easy to charm without them noticing and he is the best charmer of the family. He’s pretty popular to start with but suddenly he’s talking to almost everyone he comes across until, well, he’s got the whole school listening.

From there it’s child’s play. Suddenly, the demon’s friends won’t talk to them. People stare and whisper about them in the hallways, is what they’re saying true? Doesn’t matter. Asmo could feed them anything and they’d believe it.

He’ll make sure they feel isolated, alone, and hated by everyone they speak to and they won’t even know why. Going to RAD at all will be like walking into a prison. Ideally, they’ll just stop going, and then tada! Competition no more.

Of course, he could just charm the competitor to look elsewhere, but then who’s going to be the example to the others? Nobody needs any more “Zero-Chancers” popping up around the MC, right? You’re welcome, sweetie~! 😘

Beelzebub

He’s trying not to be that guy, he really is… but since the MC is involved… Really? You actually think you got a shot there, buddy?

Probably going to be the brother most likely to try and let the guy down gently at first, but make no mistake he will make sure he knows it’s a lost cause.

If the other demon still insists on being a competitor though… Alright.

MC pretty much goes under his “protection” from that point on. If they’re at RAD at all, Beel is not far behind. Not exactly looking outright intimidating but always just…. there.

But if the dude so much as enters a room with them he’ll be sure to stare him down and mention that he’s hungry a little louder and a lot more often.

To the MC that may just be typical Beel, but everyone else there knows Beel has swallowed lesser demons whole in the past. And for a lot less reason than this...

When Beel gets territorial he can be a subtle about it, but terrifying nonetheless.

Belphegor

Would laugh in their face and give zero shits about it. 

Like, even as the weakest sibling he could snap them like a toothpick and that’s not even getting to how they probably know jack all about the MC anyway. What even is this idiot??

Starts pulling some casual “pranks” on the guy to grief him at first. Little things like tripping him up with his tail or taking his things and hiding them in inconvenient places.

The lazy part of him hopes he’ll get the message and back off but that sadistic side really hopes he doesn’t so he’ll never talk to him directly...

When, of course, the dude doesn’t back off because he doesn't know he's supposed to, his pranks start escalating. A textbook in the school pool suddenly becomes an explosive curse put on their backpack. A kind of homicidal passive-aggression, if you will.

By some unholy miracle the guy manages to last a couple days after a barrage of progressively lethal murder attempts pranks, Belphie’s inner laziness and frustration will finally get to him and he’ll cut the passive from his aggression.

Much like with Mammon, everyone finds out that the demon dropped out of school quite suddenly. But he’s also seemed to have gone dark from all his socials and his friends can’t seem to find him anywhere... 

Concerns were raised with Lucifer but he doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about starting an investigation... It’s not the first time he’s covered for his brothers after all. 🙄🤷‍♀️

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, slightest fluff, cursing, physical harm mentions, lowkey little yandere obsessive hints, smut, 18+, daddy kink, sad boi Bakugou    :(

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Bakugou’s been going through hell ever since the breakup. He’s been so lost without you. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win back his Teddy bear. Everything and anything for the love of his life.

*Everyone is of age for legal consent (which is 16 in Japan, if you are uncomfortable with it please move along, thx<3)*

A/N: Bakugou is a little OOC but the main thing in the beginning starts with fixing up Katsuki a little bit. So sorry if you don’t really enjoy it all that much<3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Melancholy music bounces off the walls of the dark room. The river of tears that flow down his once perfect porcelain skin is everlasting. As he lays in the soft bed, staring at the ceiling, he thinks about all he could’ve done better for you. In his hand, the same framed picture of you both that he’s held onto every night ever since the horrible incident. Y/N L/N. Like a song that’s stuck on loop. It’s the only thing that runs through his mind.

The door swiftly opens, and much to his disliking, a massive amount of light now enters the former den of manliness pit of depression.

To show his displeasure, Bakugou rolled himself in the blankets, covering his entire body in them and being the picture inside with him as well. With different circumstances, Y/N would’ve thought it was cute or adorable, but it wasn’t Y/N that opened the door.

“Really Bakubro?” The blonde’s best friend spoke.

Eijirou Kirishima. The best friend of our dearest sad boy. He’s been letting his Bakubro crash in his dorm room because Katsuki refuses to clean his own. It looks exactly the same as it did on Valentine’s Day. Just a little different.

Rose petals were dead and dried up on his floors, candles were nearly melted to the bottom as they lay everywhere in the room, the curry was thankfully thrown out by Kirishima claiming that he could smell the spoiled aroma all the way from his room. But the presents, letter, and new gear stayed in the exact same spots. Bakugou didn’t feel worthy enough to be blessed with all the stuff but he was oh so desperate to be worthy. Worthy of your time, your love, and you in general.

Bakugou let out a grumbled whine of displeasure. He could feel the disappointment and concern radiating off his friend. As Katsuki poked just his face out of the covers, he was met with the expression that represented those two things.

“You can’t keep living like this bro,” Kirishima began, “You can’t keep hallowing in sadness in my room. I wanna help you, but you gotta help yourself too. Ever since you and Y/N split-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted.

“We didn’t split, she left me!” The blonde cried.

“...Right, okay. Well ever since Y/N left you, you’re not the same. You stay in here, playing the same damn sad tunes, covering yourself in my blankets, crying all day, and holding onto that picture! You haven’t even been to class or training! Shit man, you don’t even come out of my room to eat food! I gotta bring your plate here just to make sure that you’re properly fed. You’re a mess Bakugou. And not even the hot kind!” His best friend was right. He was a mess. And not even the hot kind.

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do shitty hair?” Bakugou said while dragging the covers over his face once more. Inside the blanket he held onto the picture as if it were actually you.

The fake red head snatched the covers off of his friend’s body and forced him up.

The said friend didn’t take too kindly to that and growled in displeasure.

“What the fuck Kirishima,” Bakugou said, a little to calm and chilling.

“Dont give me that bull Katsuki. You gotta get her back. I would say move on, but it’s clear you can’t.” Kirishima said while rolling his eyes.

Bakugou mirrored the action and said “yea no shit genius. I can’t and won’t move on.”

“So then go get her man!” Kirishima yelled

“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Huh?!” Bakugou was so confused. In what way was it going to be possible to win you back?

“Figure it out! Look Bakugou, I’ll be here to help you along the way, but you gotta figure this shit out on your own. This is your relationship here, if you want it as bad as you claim you do then prove it. You want Y/N back? Then fight for her, idiot!” The blonde’s eyes seemed to go wide.

Two words stuck out to Katsuki during his friend’s little speech. Prove it. Fuck yeah he will! He’ll prove to the whole damn universe how much he wants you back. More importantly, he’ll prove it to you and win you back.

The iconic Bakugou smirk reappeared on Katsuki’s face. Kirishima took it as a good sign. “Alright shitty hair, you want me to prove how badly I want Y/N back. FINE!” The two friends pulled the iconic bro hug to seal the deal.

(You know? That shit that guys do where they high five and pull each other in with that one hand for the quickest hug and pat each other on the back? You know what I’m talking about.)

“Welcome back Katsuki.” Kirishima gladly stated. “Now get the fuck out of my room man, I’m sick of sleeping on the common room couches and you reek. Take a shower. And get your own clothes from your own room.”

As Kirishima pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door, it hit Bakugou like a bus. This would be Katsuki’s first challenge. Going back into the room filled with the torn love.

As Katsuki opened the door holding onto the picture, he felt his heart sink. He saw the damage. Melted candles, dried petals, the gifts and letter. Even the nasty smell of the spoiled curry still remained. As Katsuki gathered the courage to walk in and place the picture on the messy nightstand, it’s like the room was holding onto some sad emotions. Heartache and regret filled Katsuki’s chest. He couldn’t believe how fast it happened. He thought he would at least have a minute or two before he felt the pain again. Man, did it hurt like hell.

Katsuki dashed to his closet grabbing the first things he saw. He grabbed his shower container that held all his soaps and cleaning utensils and ran out the room, shutting the door. Once out, he let out a breath of relief.

“...after I clean myself up, the room’s next.” Katsuki said with determination as he walked towards the boy’s community showers and bath house.

When the hot water hit his skin, he felt a sense of calm. It wasn’t the same as the warmth of Kirishima’s blankets. It was better. The water and hot steam completely engulfed him in relaxation. The water washed away not only the dirt and grime, but also some of the tense feelings. For a moment, he felt at ease.

As Katsuki walked out the bathing area now fully clothed and dried, he made his way back to his room. He stood there, staring at the knob until he felt he was ready. Once he opened the door, the emotions hit him once again. Like a wave of sadness washed over his entire body. Finally, he stepped in.

First things first. Open up these windows. Let out that disgusting air filled with spoiled curry and sad emotions. When Katsuki took a breath a fresh air, he felt so alive. Much better than he has in days.

Now, we gotta move stuff. Katsuki picked up his dirty laundry and put it in his closet to wash later. He moved all his presents up off the floor and onto the bed. He swepted all the dead petals and toss them in his trash can. He threw out all the ruined candles and sprayed the room with air fresheners. He fixed up his bed and placed the picture frame back on his now cleaned nightstand. Next to it, a lit candle that smelled of caramel.

Katsuki took a seat at his desk. He was back to thinking about Y/N and all that he could do to win her back. As he checked his clock, he realized just how late it was. Kirishima came back to him at the end of class and training which was around 6. He spent an hour talking to Katsuki, and then Katsuki spent 4 hours cleaning himself and his room. It was 11:00 now. Way past his usual bed time. He’ll figure things out in the morning.

Katsuki smiled to himself as he layed in his own bed. He was finally on the right track again and one step closer to getting his teddy bear back. He turned to the picture frame, and grabbed onto it, hugging it while he slept. Katsuki was getting better but he wasn’t whole again. He needed Y/N to help him sleep alright, so holding the picture at night will have to do. He couldn’t wait till he woke up in the morning. Tomorrow he had school, he’ll get to see Y/N’s beautiful face for the first time in awhile, but before that, you bet your ass he’s waking up extra early to come up with a plan.

——————————————————————————

The next morning

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

The blonde smacked his alarm button before he rose up and stretched his body. Today was the day. He’s gets to see Y/N again. Bakugou just sits in place staring at nothing. Just taking 2 minutes to regain full consciousness. Once he’s set, he’s up and getting ready. It’s 4 in the morning now, so he begins to strategize.

Katsuki is pulling out easels and white boards. Pulling out notebooks and writing down facts. What Y/N is interested in, her favorite hobbies and foods, where she likes to spend her time, what she could need help with that Bakugou could assist her with. He’s also writing down the highlights of their relationship and what she seemed to enjoy best about him. He’ll be keeping that as a reference for when he needs to reassess on how he should treat her better. He will do better this time. That’s a promise to himself and you.

After half an hour of slightly struggling, he reaches out for help. Now at 4:30 a.m, here was the blonde knocking at his best friend’s door.

Rock music is blasting, sweat is flying everywhere and punches are being thrown at a hero. Not just any hero, Crimson Riot! As Kirishima continues to spar with his idol, he’s interrupted by a banging sound.

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

“The hell?” The younger red head says. Soon his idol began to fade away.

“Crimson Riot! Hey are you okay sir?!” But it was too late, the man was gone. Now the whole room was waving around. Did Kirishima accidentally mistake his giant jug of water for vodka or something? Soon he was left in nothing but a black abyss. And then....he fell!

“Shitty hair.....Ei....KIRISHIMA!”

“AH!” The red head screamed as he shot up from the bed, head-butting his best friend right then and there. Great, a perfect dream. Ruined.

“Ah, shit!” Bakugou said in pain as he held his now throbbing forehead. “What the fuck?”

“That’s my line Bakugou,” the red head sighed, “Did you break into my room? Jeez man, what the fuck? What are you doing here at.....4:38 a.m?!?!? DUDE!”

“I know, my bad okay? But..I could use some help.” Bakugou whispered the last part so Kirishima had no idea what this man just said.

“What bro?” Kirishima asked.

“I said....I could use some help.” The blonde repeated.

“C’mon man, you’re gonna have to speak u-“

“I need your help, alright?!” Bakugou finally said. Kirishima sighed. His bro really couldn’t wait until later?

“Bakugou, you know I’m always down to help you out but this is too early man. Can we just-“ the blonde quickly added on to what he was previously saying.

“Please.”

Kirishima’s eyes shot open after he closed them to drift off back to sleep. Did the Katsuki Bakugou just ask for help by saying please? This must be extremely important.

“......alright. You got me, I’m up. But if I’m gonna be up at 4 in the morning, others are gonna be helping us too.” Kirishima bargained.

“But-“ Kirishima cut him off

“But nothing. Besides, I’m drowsy in the morning so I wouldn’t really focus all that well. And we’re just going to the people we can trust.” The red head explained.

“Fine.” The blonde gave in. So there they went, gathering the other members of the Bakusquad (minus Y/N) to help Bakugou win back his girl.

As the 4 sleepy heads sat down on Bakugou’s floor infront of the whiteboard he wrote on, The blonde began to explain some of his plans.

“So I was thinking of treating her real nice all day until she takes me back and we become friends again, eventually leading to our relationship, but then I realized she’d be into a fake me and we all know I can’t pull the nice guy act forever. Then I thought I’d spoil her with all of the things she desires, but money can’t buy you love. So I thought I could-“ Katsuki quickly noticed the long period of silence other than his voice.

There, were his 4 friends sleeping in a dog pile in the middle of his dorm room floor, completely ignoring everything he’s been saying.

Bakugou sighed and grabbed a small “heroes weekly” issue sitting on his desk, rolled it up, and wacked his friends in their heads.

“You idiots...WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Ahh, welcome back Gremlin Bakugou.

As his friends came back from the dead, they all complained.

“Aww c’mon Bakugou. We’ve been at this for an hour already, it’s 5:40.” Sero said while yawning.

“I don’t care. You idiots offered to help so here you are.” Bakugou said while turning to face the board again.

“We didn’t offer shit!” The bakusquad simultaneously replied.

Mina let out a groan while rubbing her eyes open, “Look Bakugou. We really want you and Y/N to be happy together, we really do, but maybe it’s for the best if you guys don-“ Mina was cut off by Denki slapping his hand over her mouth.

As she looked at her electric friend, she saw a nervous expression on his face. She followed his gaze and saw the back of an angry and almost insane looking and shaking Bakugou.

Hearing Mina say that he should let Y/N go triggered something in his brain. But hearing her say they wanted the couple back together enlightened him too. His mind got the two mixed up.

‘Everyone wants us back together. Not just me. So...then we are back together. Yeah. Y/N is still mine’ the now insane blonde thought to himself.

“....Ok well, time to go, get some sleep, see you idiots in the morning!” Bakugou said while pushing the group out of his room. Once they made it over the threshold, he slammed the door.

With an insane plan in mind, Bakugou checked the time and saw he could take at least a good hour long nap before he had to get ready to leave for school. And that’s exactly what he did. So he jumped into the covers, grabbing onto the picture and drifted off into sleep.

——————————————————————————

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

Bakugou’s alarm rang once more, and again, he slammed it shut. He stretched, got up outta bed and changed into his uniform. That power nap really well rested him, but it also must’ve fucked up his brain even more.

‘And now it’s time to go see my beautiful girlfriend,’ he thought to himself.

After Mina’s comments last night, it hit Bakugou with a great realization. Everyone wanted him and Y/N back together. Not just him. So why not give everybody what they want? Sure maybe Y/N might not completely want it but she’ll learn how to love Bakugou again. Everyone’s happy. And so, Bakugou was convinced that him and Y/N were back together.

At breakfast, Bakugou ran down to already see the Squad up and eating.

“Why the hell do you losers look like death?” He asked while grabbing a cup for his orange juice.

“Well we were all trying to sleep, but after what happened this morning, we couldn’t.” Mina explained.

“What happened this morning? There was nothing big except you guys helping me out.” Kirishima really couldn’t believe it. Had his dear friend not even notice his weird ass trigger moment earlier?

“Alright whatever. Anyway, wheres Y/N?” Bakugou asked after he finished his cup.

“Oh, she just left. She had an early breakfast and went for a quick walk.” Mina said.

“You planning on talking to her today Kacchan?” Denki questioned him.

“You damn Spark Plug, of course I’m gonna talk to my girlfriend today. Fucking idiot.” He said as he grabbed his bag and walked out the kitchen.

“.........Huh?” The entire squad was left in confusion.

‘Had they gotten back together this morning? Did she really accept him back that fast? What the fuck is going on?’ They all thought.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?” Kaminari cried out as he pulled at and scruffled his hair in confusion.

Ah Denki. Always saying what everyone is thinking but the only one ballsy enough to idiotically say it aloud.

——————————————————————————

As she walked to class, Y/N hummed a little song to herself. She enjoyed her walk as it helped clear her mind from all the recent events. Her breakup with Bakugou really took a toll on her. They were together for almost 2 years (EVER SINCE JUNIOR HIGH) so of course the split hit her hard. He accused her of cheating and burned her. So much for trust, right? Not only that, but the burn left a tiny scar. Usually, due to you having a regeneration ability as part of your quirk, Phoenix, the scar should’ve healed up. Maybe the emotional damage caused it to permanently mark itself in you. Oh well, whats done is done. And now it’s time for class.

When you walked though the door, you were expecting a normal day. Ever since the split, you usually got their a lot earlier before anyone else so you could sit, do a little reading, sketch out a little drawing, or just rest your eyes until the bell rang. Except this time, when you opened the door, someone jumped on you for a hug.

“Babe! There you are you little dumbass. Jeez, I was looking for you everywhere.” Bakugou said as he let go of the hug. “I’ve missed you, haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Uhm, you said babe??” You spoke with a confused and shocked voice.

“Yeah, I called you babe? So what? We always call each other that. You are my girlfriend after all.” He said so casually as he walked to his seat.

THISMANSAIDWHAATTT

“Uh, Bakugou-“

“Katsuki.” He deadpanned.

“Bakugou, we broke up.” You stated while walking up to him.

“Mm...no we didn’t.” He once again so casually said.

“Wha- I- we- you-....HUH?!” You stuttered out.

“Y/N-“

“L/N!” You corrected.

“Y/N. We didn’t break up you dummy, we only had a little set back and that’s fine. All couples do. But thankfully you forgave me and we’ve moved past it,” he began as he pulled you into his lap, “besides, everyone wants us back together including us so why not make it easier for everyone.”

You began stuttering out none sense right there on his lap. You were in such shock and utter disbelief that he said all that bullshit. Well maybe he was right about one thing. Everyone did want you guys back together, including you both, but that’s besides the point! Y’all broke up! He needs to accept it.

“Baku- no- I- we-“ and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

And for some reason, you didn’t push him away. Granted you didn’t accept it either, but you slowly melted into it. The kiss was passionate and slow. It wasn’t sloppy, it was very controlled, but it was just a lotta lip and tongue. The whole thing sent butterflies to your heart and stomach. Oh how you missed moments like these with Katsuki.

He readjusted you on his lap so that you were now straddling him. His hands travelled down to your ass as he gave it a nice squeeze, one that made you moan into the kiss. Your arms went straight to his neck to pull him in for more and he took it as an invitation to start. The kiss began to get a little rougher. More tongue and teeth, both of you extremely desperate for the touch from one another. With your cunt pressed onto his crotch, he slowly thrusted up into you as you grinded down slowly on him. You both started breathing heavier and letting out little whimpers of ecstasy. He could probably feel your now soaked panties. One hand left your ass and came around to the front. He pressed on your soaked pussy through your damp underwear and it caused shutters to go through your entire body.

You began pressing down into his hand, desperate for more friction and Bakugou noticed. He moved your panties to the side and slipped in one finger. This was rewarded with a louder moan that caused Katsuki to smile into the kiss. He knew you and your body so well. He was determined to treat you right and get you to fall for him one more time. As his finger felt around your velvet walls, he slipped in another one, receiving an even louder cry of pleasure. You broke off from the kiss to throw your head back. Katsuki saw this as an opportunity to attack your neck. To mark you up and let everyone know you still belonged to him.

“K-Katsuki. Don’t...don’t stop,” you panted.

“I won’t princess, I’ll take care of you.” He smiled.

Without warning, he shoved in 2 more fingers. You were so loud and Bakugou was so proud. You were gonna let everyone know what’s happening and he was excited.

He lifted his head to whisper into your ear as you continued to moan and sigh.

“Well aren’t you just a little slut. You want everyone to know how well daddy takes care of you? You want them to hear you scream in pleasure?” His words went straight to your cunt that was now welcoming in his 5th and final finger. Completely fisting you now, you let out loud cries.

“S-uki, .....ah, AH YES! Mm, s’too much!” You cried out. You couldn’t help it, you loved him. You knew you did. Even though what he did was wrong, your body took over and your mind turned off. You fully succumbed to his wishes.

You let your feet hit the ground to stand yourself up a little bit and fall down onto his fist, meeting the thrust of his hand moving in and out of you. Watching the show, Katsuki couldn’t help but stare in delight. His hard on growing bigger and bigger each second as he bit his lip to hold back his sounds. Watching you bounce on just his fist did something to him and brought out a feral beast. He snapped.

He pulled his fist out of your aching pussy and sat you down on his desk. He stood up infront of you and tore your delicate panties off.

“Katsuki-“ you were silenced with a smack to your ass

“That’s not my name, teddy bear. C’mon now, you know exactly what I wanna hear.” He said while caressing your thighs.

“..Yes daddy.” You bashfully said.

With a kiss to your cheek he praised you.

“Good girl.” As he began to unbuckle his belt, you looked around the classroom.

“D-daddy. Someone’s gonna see!” You cautiously stated.

Katsuki reassured you with a kiss to your lips, “We’ll be fine princess, I promise,” he said while placing his tip at your entrance. You whimpered at the thought of him inside you again, it’s been so long. You were almost nervous. That is until Katsuki place a finger under your chin so you could face him in his eyes.

“I’m gonna take care of you, so don’t worry.” And with that you slowly nodded. And he finally began to press into you.

With just his tip in, you let out a breathy moan. He was bigger than you remembered. He kept pressing and pressing until he was fully inside your warm and tight hole. You both let out a moan at the feeling of each other.

“Daddy, please move.” And he did as he was told. With a steady pace set, he thrusted himself in and out of you. Both of you moaning louder every second. While you were enveloped in the euphoric feeling, Katsuki was struggling to hold back the beast inside of him. That is until you came up to his ear.

“Fuck me like you mean it, daddy. I won’t break, I promise.” You said in his ear and Katsuki swore he could hear your smirk. Gripping your ass and continuing his pace he spoke.

“Don’t be mad when you can’t walk for the next week,” he smirked. With that, he slammed himself deeper, harder, and faster inside of you. His tip hitting your cervix. You let our screams of pure pleasure and he did the same.

“Oh yesss...shit daddy..so big..”

“F-fuck! Oh you like that? Yeah princess? ...oh shit baby your pussy takes me so well. Y-Yeah, your tight little cunt takes this big cock so fucking well,” he moved faster inside, exploring you completely. His hands went straight to your shirt and and ripped it open. You had a few buttons fly everywhere, but you didn’t care. He pushed your bra up and let one of your mounds fall into his hand. He squeezed it tight to release a generous moan from you. He then dove into the valley of breast to mark your chest. You held onto the back of his head and tugged at his hair and he growled at he feeling, enjoying every second of it.

“Oh yess princess just like that. S-shit. Oh fuck yes...oh you’re mine,” he went deeper inside as he spoke.

“Fuck! Daddy yes! Right t-there! Oh my god..yess,” you cried out.

“Can you feel that. Oh fuck, can you feel my dick in your gut?” He moaned out. Katsuki went to grip the edge of his desk as you kept your hold around his neck, causing him to somehow move faster. He went up to taste your lips once more

“I love you....so much princess...you hear me...Mm, your mine,” he said between kisses and ended with a smack to your now red ass.

His words had you squeezing his cock. He knew what was coming.

“Aww, is princess gonna cum? You gonna cum on daddy’s dick?” He teased.

“Mm...p-please daddy. Please let me cum,” you said while throwing your head back. Katsuki only smirked at this.

“Not yet~” he pulled out of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“N-no! Daddy please! Please let me finish,” you said while holding onto his shoulders, inches away from his face, pressing your chest to his. Your words caused his “little” friend to grow even harder and Katsuki only smirked and looked down at you.

“Dont worry teddy bear, Daddy’s not done with you yet.” He yanked you off the desk and pressed you down onto it, with your chest to the desk. Then he slammed back into you, returning to the fast pace again.

“Fuck yeah..oh god look at this ass. Nice and round, all red for me,” he said while pounding into you.

He gave your ass a good few smacks, countered with a thrust each harder than the last before going to lay his chest on top of you to whisper in your ear.

“You wanna be a good girl for daddy? Huh, teddy bear?” He asked.

“Mmm, yes! Yes I’ll be good, just please!” You cried out. He reached his hand over to rub on your clit. Your body began to shake with pleasure.

“Then cum with me.....NOW,” he said, and that was all it took for you to release the white liquid. As you came you could feel his hot release filling you up to the brim. He cried out in pure pleasure while you did the same.

You both stayed in that position for a bit, and you could feel the mixture of both your release dripping down your inner thighs. Soon, you felt Katsuki lower himself to kiss your neck.

“You did so good princess.” He calmly said to you. It was relieving, and you loved the sound of his voice, but you couldn’t help but feel a little off at this whole ordeal.

Katsuki pulled out of you and watched how his cum covered and filled your entire pussy. He smiled at the sight and went to grabbed some tissue on Aizawa’s desk to clean you and himself up.

He tucked himself back into his pants and you rebuttoned your shirt the best you could and flipped your skirt back down. Since Katsuki tore your panties you’d have to go commando at least until you got back to your room. You watched as Katsuki went to throw away the tissues and your torn underwear into the trash can. When he made his way back to you, he held you in his arms and attempted to kiss you. But you turned away.

“Hey teddy be-“

“No, Katsuki. Please don’t call me that.” You said while looking down. Katsuki felt his heart hurt a little. You’re always gonna be his teddy bear, why would he ever stop calling you that?

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked you.

“Us. This. Katsuki, what happened today should not have happened.” You said

“What?” He was so confused and a little hurt.

As tears start to fill your eyes, you did everything you could to not let them fall. “Suki, we broke up. You accused me of cheating, you burned me! So for us to come in here and just have sex like nothing happened is wrong.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for what happened. Seriously, after what I did it destroyed me. But please listen, I lov-“ you cut him off again.

“I know!.....I know you do Katsuki.....and I love you too Suki. So much,” this brought a smile to his face. A true, genuine smile that you loved so dearly.

“But I’m scared.” You added on. This made Katsuki’s smile drop, worry and concern fill his eyes.

“Of what exactly?” He asked you while gently holding onto your hand.

“.....You.” This shocked him. His own teddy bear feared him. Heartbreaking.

“I’m scared of the lack of trust that you have for me. And not only that, but your quirk too. Katsuki I know you’re one of the best students here at UA, but I know you’re emotions can get out of hand too. It’s clear that when you’re not in control of your feelings, your quirk can lash out. The evidence is right here,” you turned you arm that he was holding to show him the scar he left on you.

Now this really hurt Katsuki. He loved marking you with his love, not with his anger. The fact that he did that to you sent his mind into a frenzy. Until he felt your touch on his cheek.

Holding onto his cheek with your soft hands, you spoke reassuring words. “Katsuki, you were right about two things. I do want us to be together again and I do forgive you,” and with that, Katsuki leaned into your touch. Holding onto your hand that held his face, he released a single tear he didn’t know he was holding and closed his eyes in relief and satisfaction.

“But I can’t be with you again.” Your words caused him to open his eyes and stare at you in shock and fear. “At least...not yet.”

Whew, his heart rate went back down. Oh the rollar coaster of emotions this poor boy was currently on.

“Yet?” He asked hopefully.

“Suki, I’m still trying to fix myself, and it’s clear that you need to fix yourself too. I really want to be with you, but we both need time to grow for each other. I can’t leave you. I know for sure that in my heart, you’re always gonna be the one I run back to, but I don’t want to run back to someone who could possibly hurt me again. I want to come back to you knowing that when we are together again, our relationship is secured.” You explained.

A silence filled the air. You both stared at each other for what felt like forever. Nobody else in the world. Just you and him. He then pulled you in for a tight hug. As he held onto you, you could feel hot tears hitting your shoulder, and quiet sobs left his voice along with a hitched breath every now and then. Katsuki was crying.

“....I promise you. I’m gonna get better for you. I’m gonna be worthy of you and your love and it’ll stay that way for the rest of our lives. You and me. Together. Im gonna do whatever it takes to get you back and I won’t stop at anything until you’re mine again. I swear I’ll treat you better than I ever did before. As long as I know that you’re coming back to me and me only, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes teddy bear.” He said into your neck with his arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

“I know you will Suki. And I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” You said while hugging him back.

“You better not.” The blonde said.

“Don’t forget though, I’m always yours. And just yours.” You reassured him.

“......Can we at least make this a little easier for me and say we didn’t split. We’re just on a break. A small break?” He said, now looking directly in your eyes while still holding onto you.

You put his worries at ease with your gentle smile. “The smallest break, Suki.” You softly laughed as you both went back in for another hug.

“........I like it better when you call me daddy,” the damn devil said while smiling.

“Shut up you horny idiot.” You chuckled.

‘I can’t wait to be yours again,’ you both thought

You both stayed there in each other’s embraces until the world faded away. It was just you and him. Together. You were both no longer lost. You weren’t at your destination yet, but you were on the right tracks. One step closer to each other. One step closer to love.

A/N: There’s still a little more I wanna add to the story, so there will be a part 3 to close this little short story. Sorry if there were any spelling mistakes. Thank you guys so much for the love and support. As a new writer I never expected to grow so quickly so I truly love each and every one of you bear cubs! Sorry this was so long, I hope you enjoyed! 💗🧸