#gettin' all sentimental
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energetically-exhausted · 6 months ago
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happy birthday to Remus!! 💚🐀 @thatsthat24
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so here i am. precisely one year ago, i made my first actual Tumblr post. (i don't count whatever i did before.) thank you to all of the wonderful people i've met since then.
[tw for eyes under the cut]
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okaydays · 6 months ago
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I kinda wish we’d gotten a shot of Pen and Colin finally sharing a bed. Like we got them having sex, which, good on y’all for sure, but how many nights did Pen spend, alone in a big bed in a new house, with the man she’s loved since she was a child in the next room, preferring to spend the night cold and uncomfortable on a couch that’s too small for him, rather than sleep next to her?
Imagine that first morning after the ball - Pen waking up, having a split second of fear that she’d woken up alone, and then turning to see Colin’s dark hair on the pillow next to her? Or maybe they woke up with their limbs all entangled, like she’d suddenly accrued a very large teddy bear.
Waking up to the golden light of dawn, knowing she is loved for all that she is. From the first moment she wakes up, to the last before she falls asleep, wrapped in her husband’s arms.
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anonymous-eggy · 8 months ago
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seeing a nicky valentino post from u made me so happy?? i followed you years ago bc of nicky brainrot but almost every other fandom you've been a part of ever since i've also somehow been in. bless nicky v's heart that sure is a Guy!!!
i kept this in my inbox to stare at for a week or two bc it made me feel so funky (in a very very good way!) every time i looked at it.
sometimes i truly forget that there are people out there who genuinely love my content and follow me for when i drop crumbs of it. not in a bad or unappreciative way, but in a way that i just... i cant process it?
either way this ask brought me so much joy. Anon, i can only hope you'll follow me through all of my silly little interests that i amass over many more years. and trust that there'll always be room for Nicky every now and then 💖 we both have superb taste 😌
both fandom and original content (bc i am slowly working on some original things that I'd love to share when im done with it ٩( ᐛ )و)
truly, bless Nicky V for bringing together a community of creators and fans who live on in other fandoms together. he'd be proud of us all if he were real, i think.
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alex-dontknow · 1 year ago
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before i go eepying please consider
solmora stargazing at night and since they're technically looking at the remnants of their ancestors and what remains of the solarisapien race sol gets all sentimental about his choices to settle amongst the humans
"... would they ever let me return as one of them? I've strayed so far from what it means to be a warrior. have I lost my glory?"
amora turning to him with the sweetest look ever to reassure him
"you never fall from grace as a warrior. you've shown yourself to be even more courageous by choosing to protect and care for others. it's been eons, times will change."
"besides, our sons will be forever grateful that you're their father."
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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I genuinely can never thank you enough for the past year. I can't express how much it's meant to me to be understood and have my energy reciprocated with someone on the same wavelength. Although I've been in the fandom for quite a bit longer than most people writing in, and longer than you, even, I can't remember the last time I felt this welcome and motivated. A TRULY embarrassing amount of my work's just been fueled by "oh Snap's gonna wanna see that," and of course that circle's expanded since then, but it probably wouldn't have had I not met stream chat through you, aaaaaand if I'm honest you're still up there... lol...
It's always, always a highlight of my day to see your your work, your posts, and your responses, whether they're to me or to others, and it's always a highlight of my week to be able to make it to streams! You're a huge inspiration for me, particularly in terms of your work ethic across the board. I always come out of streams energized and feeling like I can actually finish things, and usually this is hubris, but it's gotta count for something.
Not to be dramatic, but you kinda changed my life, no exaggeration. I still really can't see myself the way I was two or three years ago not just calling it quits after some of my Gaiden experiences... lol... but I'm still around, and like always, I wanna be able to write in and interact as much as I used to sometime soon. Thanks for everything! I hope RGGS continues to deliver so we can stay in touch :3
i cant thank YOOOOU enough for the past Xsome months or so. feelins ABSOLUTELY mutual in that i wasnt sure anyone else would really be into talkin bout rgg as you and i have (or would be willing to read my. miles-long scrolls of bullshit LMAO) so it's been real fun gettin to know you an everyone and chattin !!
most bafflin thin to ever to think i have good work ethic, i feel like ive been behind everyone for the past couple weeks and even with the things i do make it's really not up to snuff. it's always nice to hear that's not supposedly exactly the case :) I Suppose :^)
rgg community (like any community lbr) can be. An Experience, esp for someone with a position like yours. so im glad i can make it worth to hang around somewhat LOL
regardless, i always look forward to you next ask or the next time you leave tags on a post i make. if i ever bother making a post again ☠️☠️
#fave#snap chats#I DID SIT ON THIS ALL DAY OOPS#i got a bit busy with some stuff...... also i always try my best to write a sufficient response cause ill feel bad if i dont </3#mad funny youre stoked for me to see stuff And I Am Always Stoked To See Stuff cause i got a similar sentiment towards you#i mean i TRYYYY not to get too in my head bout it since then i get paranoid but i always do hope on the downlow like#'ah man. hope this is funny. hope masu likes it. hope im shot for this one' VERY NORMAL things to want :)#so funny tho. funny timin of this ask i feel like ive been disappointin people an particularly yous#which 'snap that doesnt make sense please be happy with yourself for three seconds' which. NO?? no. impossible#but i do get worried im disappointing or being too annoying or yk. just being a pest or not being adequate#so it's fun/ny gettin this ask today all that considered LOL#I MEAN I KNOW EVERYONE BEEN NICE THE PAST DAY OR SO YK SO NO REASON TO THINK IT#i cant avoid thinkin a it... my number one bully is myself he Will Not leave me alone no matter how hard i try to complain to the board#the board also bein myself. i cant excommunicate myself from myself--#REGARDLESS. very cool that i give you motivation :) esp after streams :)#every time i finish a stream i feel like i made an ass out of myself. ALWAYS HAVE FUN. but i feel at the cost of bein obnoxious#tho i guess theres no point stayin round if i was. lest its like Last Resort kinda deal then TRULY i am sorry im The Last Resort#ILL STOP WHINING FOR FIVE SECONDS TO SAY thank you :) for everythin :) both just chattin with me an all the work you do for the community#it truly is a lot and indescribable and its very cool i have someone like that who likes what i do. you do be the beyonce in walmart to me#to reference that post i rb'd last night LOL its still hard for me to understand but ig i dont have to understand it#i think i mentioned this before but i remember when id draw for persona (cringe ik) id mostly draw adachi (this is relevant Trust)#and this one mate one day was just 'snap its really nice how much. love you bring to the adachi community'#which is a hilarious thing to say since adachi sucks but POINT IS im glad i. i THINK im kinda doing the same thing now still#thats the consensus ive gotten the past couple asks.. lol.. its nice bringin people together and havin a fun and welcomin space :)#ILL WRAP IT UP HERE THO before i make people throw up. i kept this ask hoarded long nuff.. ill just hoard it in my chest cavity instead#once more thank you forever and always :) when we inevitability branch off to other things i'll always treasure all you've done for me
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mcrdvcks · 2 months ago
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I Wanna Be Yours
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Summary: You're a hacker for The Organization, a secret group that is currently working on dismantling a mutant trafficking ring. You've been working with Logan for months but neither of you have met each other in person and he doesn't even know your real name.
Word Count: 14.7k+
Pairing: Logan (X-Men) x fem!reader
Notes: this is something i've wanted to do for a while- playing with the idea that logan can totally fall in love with someone just through their voice (and vice versa). i hope y'all enjoy it!
warnings/tags: reader has a code name, pet name (darling), light violence, mentions of (mutant) trafficking, some uses of y/n
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“Bet you look good in that suit.” You say, tapping on your keyboard, hacking into the security cameras of the seedy casino where the deal was taking place.
Logan huffed, covertly adjusting the small earpiece as he blended in with the crowd of the dimly lit casino. His tuxedo felt too tight, but then again, it wasn’t like he was made for fancy suits and shiny shoes.
“Don’t go gettin’ all sentimental, Phantom. This thing barely fits,” he muttered, keeping his voice low and steady. He glanced around, taking in the sight of gamblers, dealers, and a few shifty-looking men gathered near a corner. Probably the ones he was here for.
“Must be hard to hide all those muscles,” you teased through the comm, your voice a steady whisper in his ear. “But I’ll try not to distract you, just this once.”
A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips as he slipped past a group of laughing tourists. He scanned the room, zeroing in on his target: a short, balding man with an expensive suit and a smug look on his face. Logan’s senses sharpened. He could practically smell the guy’s nervous sweat. This had to be one of the trafficking ring’s major players.
“Any idea where they’re at?” he asked, his tone shifting from playful to serious in an instant.
“Second floor. Private poker room,” you said, enlarging one of the camera feeds to get a better view. “Security’s tighter up there. You’ll need a distraction if you wanna get past those guards.”
Logan glanced at the stairway leading up. Two burly men stood in front, arms crossed, eyes scanning for any sign of trouble. “Can’t just slice my way through ‘em,” he grumbled. “What’ve you got for me, Phantom?”
“Patience,” you teased. “Trust me, I’m working on it.” You typed a few more commands, initiating a loop in the security feed of the second-floor hallway. “You’ve got a 30-second window. Move now.”
Logan didn’t need to be told twice. He slipped through the casino floor, dodging between slot machines and card tables until he reached the base of the stairwell. The guards barely glanced his way as he strolled past, looking for all the world like another high-roller with a chip on his shoulder.
“Almost too easy,” he muttered under his breath, taking the steps two at a time.
“I make it look easy,” you corrected, monitoring the shifting feeds as Logan made his way to the second floor. “Just keep moving. The loop’ll hold, but not for long.”
Logan reached the hallway, his eyes narrowing at the closed door leading to the poker room. He slowed his pace, ears straining to pick up any sounds on the other side. “Tell me you’ve got eyes in there.”
“Not yet, working on it,” you said. “This system’s layered, gonna take a sec.”
Logan let out a quiet growl. “Great. No pressure or anything.”
“Hey, if you’re in such a hurry, I could always—”
“Don’t,” he cut in. “Just—stay on it.” He pressed his back to the wall, inching closer to the door, waiting for your go.
There was a pause, and then, “Got it.” Your voice softened, like you were focusing extra hard. “Four guys in there. Three playing cards, one pacing by the window.”
“Let me guess,” Logan grunted. “The bald one’s pacing.”
“Bingo.”
Logan’s fingers flexed, the subtle urge to unsheathe his claws growing. But this was a delicate operation. No bloodshed if it could be helped.
“You’ve got any ideas how to get me in without turnin’ this into a brawl?” he asked, half-expecting you to come up with something clever.
“I’ve got a couple,” you replied, a smile evident in your tone. “But you won’t like them.”
Logan sighed. “Why do I feel like you’re about to mess with me?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it,” you said sweetly, then paused. “Okay, maybe a little. There’s a closet down the hall to your left. Go there.”
He frowned but did as you instructed, slipping into the darkened space, filled with cleaning supplies and boxes. “Now what?”
“Well, I could trigger a fire alarm, but that’s a little loud and obvious. Or, and hear me out, I could disrupt the air conditioning. Make it so hot in there they’ll be begging for an excuse to step outside.”
Logan chuckled under his breath. “That’s your big plan? Make ‘em sweat?”
“Worked on you, didn’t it?” you teased.
“Funny.” He shook his head, glancing at the vent above him. “Think they’ll all leave?”
“Probably not all at once, but it should get the ball rolling. Just be ready. I’ll handle the rest.” Your fingers flew over the keys again, tapping into the building’s climate control system.
After a moment, you heard Logan’s quiet grunt. “Feels like it’s workin’ already.”
“Yeah, I see the temp rising in their room.” You pulled up the camera feed again, watching as one of the guys at the table tugged at his collar, then another wiped at his brow.
“Ten bucks says Mr. Baldy cracks first,” you said, amused.
Logan smirked. “You’re on.”
Not even a minute passed before the bald man swore, yanked off his suit jacket, and threw it on the back of his chair. “I’m stepping out for some air,” you heard him mutter to the others.
Logan’s eyes flicked to the door, his body tense. “Here we go.”
As the door opened, Logan moved fast. He grabbed the guy, pulling him into the closet before he could make a sound. With a quick, non-lethal chokehold, the guy slumped to the ground unconscious. Logan checked his pulse—alive. Good.
“Nice work,” you whispered in his ear. “Bet he’s not going to wake up happy.”
Logan crouched down, frisking the guy’s pockets. “Let’s hope he’s got something useful on him,” he muttered.
“He’s got a keycard,” you said, watching the screen as Logan pulled out the small plastic card. “That should get you into the back office.”
Logan glanced down at the unconscious man. “You were right. I didn’t like your plan.”
You laughed softly through the comms. “You’ll get over it. Now go, before they notice their friend’s gone.”
Logan straightened up, giving the unconscious man one last look before slipping out of the closet. “You better have a plan for what’s next, Phantom.”
“I always do,” you said, smirking as you pulled up the building’s blueprints. “Just follow my lead. Take the hall to your right. There’s an access door near the end. It’ll get you closer to the office.”
Logan moved quickly, the soft thud of his footsteps barely audible. “You sure about this? That door doesn’t look like it’s meant for guests.”
“I’m sure,” you replied confidently. “It’s an employee access. You’ve got the keycard, remember?”
He grunted in response, holding the card up to the reader. The door unlocked with a faint beep. “You really do make this look easy.”
“I try,” you said, voice laced with amusement. “Now, once you’re inside, there’s a small hallway. You’ll want to hang a left, then a quick right. The office is at the end.”
Logan opened the door, slipping into the narrow hallway. “What’s the deal with this office? Anything I should know?”
“Could be where they’re stashing data on the trafficking network. Either that or it's where they’re counting money.” You were typing again, eyes scanning multiple camera feeds. “But I’ve got a good feeling about this.”
“Good feelin’, huh?” Logan muttered, carefully making his way through the corridor. “Hope that feelin’ is worth something.”
“It always is,” you shot back playfully. “You’ve got about a minute before someone notices the guy you knocked out is missin’. So… chop, chop.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Logan growled, reaching the door to the office. “And you said I was the impatient one.”
Before you could respond, he swiped the keycard again and pushed the door open. Inside, the room was dimly lit, filled with filing cabinets, a desk cluttered with paperwork, and a few old-looking computers. Logan’s nose twitched at the faint scent of stale cigarettes and cologne.
“Jackpot,” you whispered in his ear, pulling up the feed of the room. “There should be a terminal near the desk. Get me plugged in, and I’ll handle the rest.”
Logan looked over at the outdated equipment and scowled. “This stuff’s ancient. Hope you can work with it, Phantom.”
“Please, I’ve hacked worse,” you said, brushing off the concern. “Just get me connected.”
Logan knelt down, finding a small port on the side of the computer and pulling out a cable from his gear. As soon as he plugged it in, your fingers danced across the keyboard, breaking through layers of security.
“There we go,” you murmured. “This’ll take a second. How are things on your end?”
Logan stood back up, glancing around the room. “Quiet. For now.”
“Good, because I’ve got eyes on another guy heading your way,” you warned. “He’s probably checking in on his boss. You might wanna handle him before he stumbles on Baldy.”
Logan’s fists clenched. “Great. Any more good news?”
“Depends. You want the good news or the bad news first?” you asked lightly, your tone casual despite the urgency of the situation.
“Just spit it out.”
“Good news? I’m almost done here. Bad news? You’ve got about thirty seconds before that guy reaches you.”
Logan let out a low growl. “Any suggestions?”
“Well,” you said thoughtfully, “you could go for subtle and knock him out—again. Or you could do the Logan thing and scare the crap out of him.”
Logan smirked. “And here I thought you were gonna say ‘no bloodshed.’”
“I’m flexible,” you teased. “Your call.”
Logan moved toward the door, listening carefully. The approaching footsteps were getting closer. “I’ll try subtle,” he muttered. Then, almost as an afterthought, “for you.”
“Aw, how sweet,” you quipped. “I’ll be sure to remember this moment.”
He cracked the door open just as the guy turned the corner. Logan grabbed him by the collar, yanking him into the room before he could shout. A quick punch to the gut, and the guy doubled over, gasping for air. Logan pressed him against the wall, one hand firmly over his mouth.
“Stay quiet, and I won’t hurt you,” Logan growled, his tone low and threatening.
The guy’s eyes widened, and he gave a shaky nod. Logan let him go, and he slumped to the floor, half-conscious.
“Nice work,” you praised, your voice a soft murmur in his ear. “You’ve still got it.”
“Didn’t lose it,” Logan muttered, stepping over the guy and returning to the desk. “You done yet?”
“Just about,” you said. “And… there. I’ve got everything. You’re good to go.”
Logan disconnected the cable, glancing around the room once more. “And you’re sure this’ll help us track the ring?”
“Positive,” you replied confidently. “Now, get out of there before someone else shows up.”
Logan took one last look at the unconscious man on the floor. “You got a clear path for me?”
“Always,” you said, your fingers flying over the keys again. “Head back the way you came. I’ll loop the cameras again. And don’t worry, I’ll keep them busy downstairs.”
Logan smirked as he stepped back into the hallway. “Sometimes I forget how useful you are.”
“Only sometimes?” you teased.
He chuckled softly. “Don’t push your luck, Phantom.”
You smiled to yourself, watching the feeds as Logan made his way through the building. “Whatever you say, Logan. You owe me one.”
“Add it to the list,” he said, his voice gruff but laced with a hint of amusement.
“Believe me, I am.” You took a bite of your cake, an orange cardamom one you made the other day.
“The hell are you doin’?” Logan asked.
You shrugged, “I’m eatin’. Thought now was a better time than ever. Let’s my fingers have a break. Got a problem, Wolf?” you ask, taking another bite of your cake, your tone teasing through the comm.
Logan’s voice grumbled in your ear, low and irritated. "We're in the middle of a mission, and you’re havin’ dessert?"
"Hey, a girl’s gotta eat," you reply casually, wiping a few crumbs off your keyboard. "I’ve earned it. You’re lucky I’m not eating popcorn with the way this operation’s going. Besides, I’m the one doing the hard work behind the scenes, remember?"
"You’re sittin’ in front of a computer, Phantom," Logan shot back, though you could hear the faintest trace of a smirk in his voice. "Not exactly the front lines."
"Exactly. Where would you be without me?" you retort, savoring another bite of cake. "I’m the reason you’re not punching your way through the entire casino right now."
Logan stayed quiet for a beat. You could imagine him clenching his jaw, trying to decide whether to argue or just let you have your moment. "You done?"
You chuckle softly, leaning back in your chair. "For now. You make it out of there yet?"
"Almost," Logan muttered, his voice low as he moved through the hall. "Place is still crawling with these scumbags. Any chance you can keep ‘em distracted?"
"Already ahead of you," you said, your fingers flying over the keyboard again. "Looping the feeds, and I’ve got a little surprise coming for the main floor. Keep your eyes open."
Logan grunted in response, his boots making soft thuds as he crept through the back corridors. "Surprise, huh? What kind of surprise?"
"You’ll see," you said cryptically, unable to hide the amusement in your tone.
There was a pause before Logan spoke again, quieter this time. "You always this chatty during missions?"
You tilted your head, curious. "Depends on who I’m working with. Some people are all business, no fun. Others… well, they don’t mind a little conversation. Keeps things from getting too tense."
"Huh," Logan responded, noncommittal. But then, after another beat, he added, "Guess it ain’t so bad."
Your eyebrows shot up. "Was that a compliment? Did Wolverine just say something nice?"
"Don’t push it, Phantom," Logan growled, but there was a hint of a smile in his voice.
You grinned to yourself, pleased that you’d gotten under his skin a little. "Alright, alright. I’ll stop before you start getting sentimental on me."
Logan was quiet for a moment, then muttered, "Not much chance of that."
Before you could reply, you heard footsteps in the feed, heading in Logan’s direction. Your tone shifted, all business now. "Logan, hold up. Someone’s coming your way, about twenty feet ahead."
"Great," he grumbled, already moving to the side, pressing himself into the shadows.
You watched the camera feed, tracking the figure’s movement. "Wait… looks like it’s just one guy. Should be easy to handle."
Logan’s low growl rumbled through the comm. "Easy for you to say."
You rolled your eyes, but your focus stayed on the screen. "You’re Wolverine. You’ll be fine. Just make sure he doesn’t see you."
A few seconds passed, and then you heard a soft thud. Logan’s voice came back through the comm, sounding slightly breathless. "Handled."
"See? Told you. Easy," you said smugly.
Logan didn’t respond right away, probably too busy moving again. You kept your eyes on the security feeds, tracking his progress. Finally, you heard his voice, a little softer this time. "Thanks."
Your fingers paused over the keys. "For what?"
"For not gettin’ in the way," he said, almost gruffly, but you could tell he meant it.
You smiled, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. "Anytime, Wolf."
There was a brief silence, and then Logan cleared his throat. "So, you gonna tell me what this surprise is, or you just keepin’ me in the dark?"
You leaned forward, grinning. "Oh, right. Almost forgot. Check the main floor in about… five seconds."
Logan didn’t say anything, but you imagined him looking around suspiciously. Then, just as you’d planned, the lights in the main casino flickered before the fire alarms started blaring. You heard Logan’s quiet chuckle through the comm.
"That your idea of subtle?"
"I prefer ‘effective,’" you said, watching as the casino patrons started panicking, scrambling for the exits. "Should give you the distraction you need to get out clean."
Logan let out a low laugh. "I’ll give you that, Phantom. You make one hell of a distraction."
"Flattery will get you nowhere," you teased, though you couldn’t help the slight flush creeping up your neck. "Now hurry up and get out of there before someone starts putting two and two together."
"On it," Logan muttered, the sound of the alarm still faint in the background as he made his way out. "I’m guessin’ you already got us an exit plan?"
You leaned back in your chair, tapping your fingers against the desk. "I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that. Side door, west end of the building. You’ve got about three minutes before the cops show up."
Logan moved swiftly, his footsteps barely audible now. "You really are somethin’ else, y’know that?"
You smirked. "I’ve heard that once or twice."
As Logan slipped through the side door, you watched him disappear from the building’s cameras, your job mostly done. “You’re clear. Ricky wants you to meet him tomorrow morning, 8 sharp for a debrief.”
Logan let out a short grunt. “Ricky, huh? Great. I’ll bring donuts.”
You smiled, rolling your eyes even though he couldn’t see you. “You could at least try to pretend you’re not completely over these meetings.”
Logan’s voice crackled through the comm, rough but with a hint of humor. “I’m over a lotta things, Phantom. Meetin’s just one of ‘em.”
You leaned back in your chair, stretching out your arms. “Well, don’t be late. You know how Ricky gets when he’s kept waitin’.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Logan muttered. There was a pause, and then, “What about you? You gonna be there?”
You raised an eyebrow, surprised at the question. “You think I just show up to these things? I’m the behind-the-scenes tech genius, remember? My job’s done.”
Logan huffed. “Yeah, well… guess I figured after all this time, I’d finally meet the mystery hacker.”
There was something in his voice—something almost like curiosity—but you brushed it off with a light laugh. “Aw, are you saying you miss me already, Wolf?”
“Don’t push it,” Logan shot back, though there was a playful edge to his words. “Just seems weird, is all. Workin’ together this long and never even met you face-to-face.”
You paused for a moment, considering his words. It was weird. You’d been guiding Logan through missions for months now, your voices constantly in each other’s ears, but you had never been in the same room. A part of you liked it that way—it kept things professional, detached. Safer. But another part of you… well, maybe you were curious too.
“Maybe one day,” you said lightly, dodging the subject. “But for now, I think it’s better this way. Keeps the mystery alive, right?”
Logan snorted. “Yeah, real mysterious. You sittin’ there eatin’ cake while I’m out here doin’ the heavy liftin’.”
You smirked. “It’s called multitasking, Logan. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”
Before he could respond, a soft beep on your computer alerted you that the building’s security systems were coming back online. The loop you’d created was about to end.
“Looks like my window’s closing,” you said, typing a few last commands. “Everything’s going back to normal on their end. You’re officially off the radar.”
“Good. Was gettin’ sick of the place anyway,” Logan muttered. You could hear the sound of traffic now, indicating he was out on the street. “You sure you don’t wanna show up tomorrow?”
“Why?” you asked, amused. “So you can finally see if I really do eat cake during all your missions?”
Logan grumbled something under his breath. “Yeah, somethin’ like that.”
You hesitated, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. Meeting him in person… it’d be a big step. The dynamics between you two would change. And honestly, you weren’t sure if that was a good idea. But at the same time, a part of you was curious about the man behind the gruff voice and dry humor.
“We’ll see,” you said, keeping your tone light. “But don’t hold your breath, Wolf.”
Logan was quiet for a second before he let out a low chuckle. “Wasn’t plannin’ on it. See you around, Phantom.”
With that, the line went dead, and you leaned back in your chair, staring at the screen. You could still hear Logan’s voice in your head, and for a moment, you wondered what it’d be like to finally meet him. But then you shook the thought away, focusing back on your monitors.
It was safer this way. Easier. Less complicated.
But as you closed down your systems for the night, a small, nagging part of you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever get the chance to see the man behind the voice.
---
The next morning, you found yourself up earlier than usual, sipping coffee and thinking about Logan’s mission. You knew he was already at the debrief with Ricky, probably sitting there with that irritated look on his face. The thought made you smile.
You were in the middle of pulling up some new data on the trafficking ring when your phone buzzed with a message.
Logan: Missin’ you at this meeting. Ricky’s talkin’ my ear off.
You blinked at the screen, surprised. You weren’t expecting a text from Logan, let alone one like that. He wasn’t usually the type to check in.
You: I’m sure you’re handling it like a pro. Should I send donuts as a peace offering?
His reply came almost immediately.
Logan: Yeah, make it two dozen.
You snorted into your coffee, shaking your head.
You: I’ll see what I can do. How’d the debrief go?
There was a pause before Logan replied.
Logan: Fine. Got another mission lined up. They want you back on comms. Same setup.
Your fingers hesitated over the keys before you typed back.
You: Guess that means you’re stuck with me a little longer, huh?
Logan: Could be worse.
You smiled to yourself, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. It was a small thing, but the fact that Logan had reached out to you, even if it was just to complain about a meeting, felt like progress.
You: Just let me know when you’re ready for another round, Wolf. I’ll be there.
Logan: Yeah, I know you will.
You stared at the screen for a second longer, feeling something stir in the pit of your stomach. You shook it off, downed the rest of your coffee, and started pulling up the files for the next mission.
There was no time for distractions—not when the stakes were this high.
But still, a small part of you couldn’t help but look forward to hearing Logan’s voice in your ear again.
---
“Why don’t you tell me something ‘bout you?”
You raised an eyebrow at Logan’s question, momentarily pausing your typing before resuming. “I don’t know… don’t want a strange man knowin’ about me, do I?”
There was a low chuckle on the other end of the line. "Strange man, huh? Thought we were past that by now."
You smirked, leaning back in your chair. “Well, I guess you’re not that strange, Wolf. But still. Not sure I’m ready to spill all my secrets.”
“I’m not askin’ for all your secrets. Just one.” His voice was rough, but there was a hint of curiosity behind it, like he was genuinely interested in getting to know you. Which was… unexpected.
You tapped your fingers against the keyboard, considering. “Alright. Something about me, huh? Let’s see… I used to hate coffee. Couldn’t stand the taste.”
Logan snorted. “That’s it? C’mon, Phantom, give me somethin’ better than that.”
“Hey, you didn’t specify what kind of fact,” you shot back, a grin creeping onto your face. “But fine, if you want something more interesting… I got kicked out of my computer science class once.”
There was a beat of silence. “You? Miss hacker extraordinaire? What the hell did you do?”
You shrugged, even though he couldn’t see you. “Maybe I hacked into the school’s system to change a grade or two. Not mine, though. A friend’s. The professor wasn’t too thrilled about it.”
Logan’s laugh came through the line, deeper this time. “Should’ve known you’d be trouble.”
You smiled, leaning forward again. “Well, you’re stuck with me now.”
“Seems like it,” he muttered, a hint of something in his voice that made your stomach flip.
You cleared your throat, steering the conversation back on track. “Alright, your turn. Tell me something about you.”
“Not much to tell.” Logan’s voice was gruff, almost dismissive, but you could hear the hesitation.
“Come on, fair’s fair,” you pressed. “You can’t ask me for something and not return the favor.”
He was silent for a moment, and you could almost picture him sitting there, deciding how much he wanted to give away. Logan was driving, he had finished another mission with you on the line like always. Except this time, it ended with a man tied up and unconscious in the trunk for Ricky.
Finally, he sighed. “Alright. You want something about me? I used to be a lumberjack.”
You blinked, thrown off by the admission. “A lumberjack? Like, chopping down trees and all that?”
“Yeah. Chopping down trees, clearing land. It was… quiet. Simple.”
You let that sink in, the image of Logan swinging an axe somehow fitting. “Sounds nice. Bet you looked right at home doing it.”
He huffed a short laugh. “Not sure anyone’s ever ‘at home’ doing that, but yeah, it wasn’t bad. Kept me grounded, I guess.”
There was something unspoken in his voice, something heavy. You knew enough by now to not push too hard, so instead, you kept it light. “So, from chopping trees to chasing bad guys and mutants. Quite the career change.”
“Yeah, you could say that.” Logan’s tone shifted, and you could tell he was ready to move on. “Enough ‘bout me. What’s the status on those files? You find anything new?”
You glanced at your screen, where the data on the trafficking ring was slowly coming together. “A few new leads. Cross-referenced some names from the last mission, and there’s definitely a connection between the ring and a shipping company based in Miami. Could be our way in.”
“Good.” Logan’s voice was steady, all business again. “Send me the details when you’re done. Ricky’s gonna want to know.”
You nodded to yourself, already pulling up the files to forward to him. “You got it. And Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“Try not to let Ricky drive you too crazy. I’m not sending donuts again.”
Logan snorted. “No promises.”
---
Two days later, you were back at your desk, knee-deep in code, when the comms crackled to life.
“You ready, Phantom?”
You smiled to yourself, hearing Logan’s voice in your ear again. “Always. You good to go?”
“Locked and loaded,” he replied, the sound of a car door shutting in the background. “What’s the target this time?”
You tapped a few keys, bringing up the map. “Warehouse in Miami. Based on the intel we pulled, this is one of their main distribution points. High traffic, lots of movement at night.”
“Security?”
“Pretty tight, but nothing we can’t handle. I’ll be your eyes and ears. You just focus on getting in and out.”
“Like always.” There was a pause, then, “You ever been to Miami?”
You raised an eyebrow at the question. “Once or twice. Why?”
“Just curious. Thought maybe you’d have some recommendations on where to go after all this is over.”
You couldn’t help but grin. “What, planning a vacation already?”
“Maybe. Depends how fast we wrap this up.”
Shaking your head, you brought the focus back to the mission. “Alright, Wolf. Let’s get through this first, then we can talk about your beach plans.”
Logan chuckled, low and rough. “Deal.”
As you guided him through the back streets of Miami, tracking his every move on the security cameras, you couldn’t help but feel that familiar sense of anticipation. Working with Logan had become second nature by now, and yet there was always this underlying tension, this unspoken connection between you two that made every mission just a little more intense.
“Left at the next alley,” you instructed, your eyes flicking between the camera feeds. “You’ll see a door around the corner. Should be unlocked.”
“Got it,” Logan replied, his voice steady. You could hear his footsteps echoing off the alley walls as he approached the warehouse.
“Any movement inside?” he asked, keeping his voice low.
You scanned the interior feeds. “Three guards on the ground floor, two patrolling the upper levels. They’re not on high alert, though. You should be able to slip past them.”
“Easy enough.”
You listened to the sound of him moving, the slight creak of a door opening, then the soft thud of his boots on concrete. You kept your focus on the screens, heart rate picking up as Logan made his way deeper into the building.
“There’s a stairwell to your left,” you whispered, though no one but Logan could hear you. “Take it up. The control room’s on the second floor.”
“On it.”
Everything was going smoothly—until it wasn’t.
“Shit,” Logan muttered, his voice tense. “Got company.”
Your eyes flew to the nearest camera, catching sight of two guards rounding the corner, guns drawn.
“Hang on,” you said quickly, fingers flying across the keyboard. “I’m looping the camera feed—there, they shouldn’t be able to see you now.”
Logan didn’t respond right away, but you heard the scuffle over the line, the sound of fists meeting flesh, followed by a grunt of pain. You held your breath, watching the screens intently.
“Logan? You good?”
There was a beat of silence before his voice came through, breathless but unbothered. “Yeah. Just had to put a couple guys to sleep.”
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “Jesus, give me a heart attack, why don’t you?”
“Don’t worry, Phantom. I’ve got it under control.”
You could practically hear the smirk in his voice, and despite the tension, you couldn’t help but smile. “Well, next time, maybe give me a little warning before you go all Rambo on me.”
“No promises,” Logan’s voice crackled through the comms, and you could practically hear the grin in his tone. There was a brief pause before he added, “You still with me, Phantom?”
You shook your head, trying to suppress a smile. “Barely. I swear, you’ll be the death of me one of these days.”
His laugh came low and rough, and for a moment, you let yourself relax a little, the tension from earlier easing. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard that.”
“Yeah, well, I mean it,” you shot back, eyes scanning the multiple screens in front of you. The warehouse was sprawling, but you had a pretty good read on the layout by now. “You’re clear to move. No one else on this floor.”
“Got it.” You heard the soft thud of his boots again as he moved forward.
“So, what’s the next step?” Logan asked, keeping his voice low. “You got me runnin’ around this place, but you haven’t told me what I’m lookin’ for.”
“Patience, Wolf,” you teased, tapping a few more keys to bring up the rest of the building’s security system. “I’m working on it. There’s a secure server room on the north side of the building. That’s where they’re storing the data we need. You’re gonna have to bypass their security to get in.”
“Piece of cake.”
“Funny you mention cake,” you said, grinning to yourself as you tapped into the server’s firewall. “Because after this, I’m thinking you owe me some. Maybe even pie. You’re racking up quite the tab.”
Logan chuckled. “Yeah? We’ll see. First, let’s get through this alive.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
As you worked, your mind drifted for a second, the familiar rhythm of the job taking over. It was almost unsettling how natural it had become to guide Logan through these kinds of missions. You weren’t sure when you’d started looking forward to them—maybe it was the banter, maybe it was the trust you’d built. But either way, it had become a part of your routine.
“Server room’s on the right,” you said after a beat, focusing back on the task at hand. “Two guards outside, but they don’t seem too alert. Shouldn’t be a problem for you.”
Logan’s voice was smooth as he replied, “Already ahead of you. On my way.”
You kept your eyes on the screen, watching as he moved through the shadows, blending in with the dark corners of the warehouse. It was impressive, really. The way he worked was so fluid, like he’d done this a thousand times before. And, well, he probably had.
“There’s an override switch on the wall next to the door,” you instructed. “Flip it, and you’ll have access.”
Logan grunted in response, and a moment later, you heard the soft click of the door unlocking.
“Inside,” he muttered. “Now what?”
You were about to respond when a sudden blip on your screen caught your attention. “Wait, hold up,” you said quickly, fingers flying across the keyboard. “We’ve got movement. Someone’s heading toward your location. Two guards, second floor.”
Logan’s voice was calm, even as he moved into action. “How long do I have?”
“Not long. They’re coming fast.” Your heart pounded as you watched the dots on the map converge on his location. “You need to get out of there, now.”
“Too late for that,” Logan muttered, the sounds of heavy footsteps echoing through the comms.
“Logan—”
“Don’t worry, Phantom,” he cut you off, and you could hear the smirk in his voice again. “I’ve got this.”
The next thing you heard was the unmistakable sound of fists hitting flesh, followed by a low grunt of pain. You winced, even though you couldn’t see what was happening.
“Logan? Talk to me.”
More sounds of a struggle came through, and then finally, Logan’s voice, slightly breathless but unbothered. “Two down. Told ya, no problem.”
You let out a shaky breath, leaning back in your chair. “Yeah, well, maybe next time don’t wait until the last second to handle it.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, even though your nerves were still on edge. “You’re impossible.”
“That’s what they tell me,” he replied, and you could hear the faint rustle of him moving again. “Alright, I’m at the server. How much time do we need?”
“Give me five minutes,” you said, fingers flying across the keyboard as you initiated the download remotely. “I’m pulling the data now. Just stay put until I finish.”
“Five minutes? Thought you were faster than that, Phantom.”
“Don’t push it, Logan,” you shot back, rolling your eyes even though he couldn’t see you. “I’d like to see you hack into a secured server faster.”
“Maybe I’ll give it a shot one of these days,” he muttered, the humor still in his voice. “Bet I’d be a natural.”
“Please. You’d probably smash the computer before you even logged in.”
“Only if it pissed me off.”
You shook your head, focusing back on the task at hand. “Alright, I’m almost done. Just a few more seconds.”
There was silence on the line for a moment, and you could hear Logan shifting in place, his breaths slow and steady.
“You ever think about doin’ this full time?” he asked suddenly, his voice lower now, more serious.
“Hacking?” you replied, thrown off by the question. “I mean, I’m not exactly doing this for the money. Why?”
“Just curious,” Logan said, and you could tell by his tone that he wasn’t pressing the issue. “Seems like you’re good at it. You could make a real difference.”
You hesitated, fingers hovering over the keys. “I’m already making a difference,” you said softly, your voice quieter than usual. “I don’t need to do it full time to feel like it matters.”
There was a pause, and for a moment, you thought maybe the line had cut out. But then Logan spoke again, his voice low and almost… thoughtful.
“Yeah. Guess you’re right.”
You didn’t know how to respond to that, so you didn’t. Instead, you focused on finishing the download, the soft hum of the servers filling the silence between you.
“Got it,” you said finally, leaning back in your chair with a sigh of relief. “Download’s complete. You’re good to go.”
Logan didn’t reply right away, but you could hear the soft sound of him moving, his footsteps heavy against the concrete floor.
“Logan?” you prompted after a moment, the silence starting to make you uneasy.
“Yeah,” he said finally, his voice a little distant. “I’m on my way out.”
You nodded to yourself, watching his dot move across the map on your screen. “Good. Let’s get you out of there.”
As you guided him back through the warehouse, you couldn’t help but wonder what had changed in his voice during those last few minutes. Something about the way he’d asked that question—about doing this full time—had caught you off guard.
But now wasn’t the time to dwell on it. You had a job to finish, and Logan needed to get out of there safely.
“Alright, you’re clear,” you said once he reached the exit. “No one’s around. Just make sure you don’t—”
“Yeah, I know,” Logan interrupted, and you could hear the smirk in his voice again. “Don’t get shot. You’ve told me a thousand times, Phantom.”
“Then maybe this time you’ll listen,” you shot back, grinning despite yourself.
Logan chuckled, the sound low and rough. “No promises.”
And with that, the line went quiet, leaving you alone in the soft glow of your computer screen.
---
"Alright, your change is $2.87. Have a good one.” You handed the change and a paper bag to the customer, smiling politely. After brushing your hands on your pastel blue apron, you turned to the next person in line. "How can I help—”
You paused mid-sentence as you looked up, surprised to see Ricky standing in front of you with a smirk on his face. You let out an exaggerated sigh. “The regular?”
“Always.” Ricky leaned against the counter, watching you with that usual casual attitude. “You know me too well, Phantom.”
You scoffed lightly at the use of your codename in the middle of your bakery. "Could you not call me that here?" You motioned to the line behind him. “I’d prefer not to blow my cover in front of customers.”
Ricky grinned, clearly enjoying himself. “Relax, I’m just messin’ with you. Your secret’s safe with me.”
You shook your head and started prepping his order, grabbing a coffee and a chocolate croissant, which he always got whenever he visited your bakery. “What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have something better to do than bother me at work?”
“Maybe I just missed my favorite hacker-slash-baker,” Ricky teased, crossing his arms as he watched you work. “Figured I’d stop by and see how you’re holding up.”
You raised an eyebrow, handing him the coffee. “I’m holding up fine. Business as usual.”
“Yeah. This place looks better than before. New paint job?”
“Actually, no. New tables and chairs.” You replied. Computer programming had always been something you enjoyed and loved, but when you started working for a big tech company, you couldn’t help but feel like your talents were going to waste.
You found Ricky, or rather, Ricky found you, and you were recruited into ‘The Organization’ to take down mutant trafficking rings. You still needed money, so you decided to put to use your other skill, baking. You opened a small bakery in New York City and have been running it for close to 2 years now.
Ricky leaned against the counter, eyeing the new setup. “So this is what you do when you’re not saving the world? Whip up some cupcakes?”
You rolled your eyes as you placed the croissant in a bag. “Something like that. Gotta pay the bills, right?”
Ricky took the bag from you, giving you a knowing smirk. “You know, it’s still hard to picture you as a baker. I keep waiting for the day I come in here, and all the pastries are bugged with tiny microphones.”
You snorted. “Please. Like I’d waste good croissants on something like that.”
He laughed, then took a sip of his coffee. “You heard from Logan?”
Your fingers froze for a split second, but you quickly masked it by busying yourself with wiping down the counter. “Why? Did something happen?”
Ricky raised an eyebrow. “No, not that I know of. Just thought he might’ve reached out, is all.”
You shrugged, trying to keep your tone casual. “He’s probably busy. You know how it is.”
“Mhm.” Ricky gave you a look that suggested he wasn’t buying it. “Right. Busy.”
You shot him a glance. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He grinned, shaking his head. “Nothing, Phantom. Just… you two seem to get along pretty well. That’s all.”
You felt a warmth creeping up the back of your neck and quickly turned away, focusing on the pastries again. “We work well together, if that’s what you mean.”
“Sure, sure,” Ricky said, clearly amused. “Just don’t let ol’ Wolf get too attached. He’s not exactly the sentimental type.”
You scoffed. “Yeah, I’m not worried about that.”
But even as you said it, you couldn’t help but think back to the last mission. The banter, the small moments where Logan seemed to let his guard down—just a little. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make you wonder.
Ricky stood up straight, crumpling the paper bag in his hand. “Alright, Phantom. I’ll leave you to your cupcakes and secret side missions. Just don’t go getting yourself into trouble.”
“Me? Trouble?” you grinned. “Never.”
He chuckled, heading for the door. “Catch you later.”
As soon as he was gone, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Ricky had a way of pushing your buttons just enough to make you think. And now you couldn’t stop replaying your recent conversations with Logan in your head. It was strange—this… thing between you two. He wasn’t like anyone you’d worked with before. And yet, it felt natural, like you’d known each other much longer than a few months.
Your phone buzzed in your apron pocket, snapping you out of your thoughts. You pulled it out and glanced at the screen.
Logan: Got some info for you. When’s your next shift with me?
You bit your lip, your fingers hovering over the keys for a second before you replied.
You: Whenever you need me. What’s the mission?
Logan: I’ll fill you in later. Just be ready.
You: Always am, Wolf.
A short pause, then Logan’s reply came through.
Logan: I know.
You stared at the screen for a moment longer, feeling that familiar flutter in your chest. Shaking your head, you shoved the phone back into your pocket. You had a business to run, after all. There was no time to dwell on this… whatever it was between you and Logan.
But as you served the next customer with a practiced smile, you couldn’t quite shake the feeling that your next mission with him was going to be different. Maybe it already was.
---
“You ever been to New York City?” Logan asked.
You briefly stopped your typing on the keyboard, “maybe. Maybe not. Why?”
Logan’s voice crackled through the earpiece, low and rough as always. “Just curious. Figured you might’ve wandered through at some point, considering how close we’ve been workin’ together.”
You raised an eyebrow, glancing at the surveillance feed on your screen. “Is this your version of small talk, Wolf? Because I gotta say, you’re not exactly known for that.”
He chuckled. “Nah, just figured it was worth askin’. You ever get outta that basement of yours?”
You leaned back in your chair, smirking to yourself. “I’m not always in a basement, you know. I have other things going on. Like you, sweetie. You focusing on those wires?”
“Sweetie?” Logan’s voice came back with a low growl, amusement lacing his tone. “You know I don’t get distracted easy, darlin’.”
You smirked at the monitor in front of you, watching as he carefully maneuvered through the narrow corridor of the warehouse. “Just making sure. Wouldn’t want to have to bail you out if you trip a wire.”
“Funny,” he muttered. “You’re soundin’ real confident for someone sittin’ comfy at a keyboard.”
“Hey, I’m not comfy,” you shot back, leaning closer to the screen. “I’m on the edge of my seat watching your back.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Logan said, the sound of a door creaking open in the background. “What do you see up ahead?”
You focused on the different camera feeds, your fingers flying over the keys to switch between views. “Two guards in the hallway to your left. Armed. They’re just patrolling, so if you wait about ten seconds, you should be able to slip by.”
“Copy that.” His breathing slowed, the sound of footsteps faint as he pressed himself against the wall. “Tell me somethin’, Phantom. What do you do when you’re not playin’ babysitter for me?”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Logan grunted softly, the sound of his claws extending briefly as he took a peek around the corner. “Yeah, kinda. All I get’s that voice of yours—still gotta figure out the face that goes with it.”
You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. “You’re obsessed, Wolf.”
“Never said I wasn’t.” There was a beat of silence as Logan moved silently down the hallway, bypassing the guards with ease. “But you still didn’t answer me.”
You sighed dramatically, switching to another camera feed that showed a large storage room filled with crates. “What do you think I do? Sit in a dark room, hacking into firewalls all day?”
Logan snorted. “Ain’t that what you’re doin’ now?”
“Touché.” You shifted slightly, watching him take down a lone guard with a quick, precise movement. “But no. I do have a life outside of this, you know.”
“Like what?” He sounded genuinely curious now, and you could almost picture the way his brows would be furrowed in concentration. “You got a family? Friends?”
You paused, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Family? Not really. Friends? Also a stretch. But you didn’t feel like sharing that right now. “I’ve got… a business to run.”
Logan was quiet for a moment. “A business, huh? Didn’t think you’d be the type to deal with customers.”
“Why not?” you shot back. “I’m very good with people, I’ll have you know.”
“Yeah, like the time you almost tore that guy a new one when he questioned your coding?” He chuckled, the sound low and deep in your ear. “Real people person, darlin’.”
“Okay, that was one time.” You rolled your eyes. “And he deserved it. But yeah, I’m pretty good with people—when I want to be.”
“Uh-huh.” There was a rustling noise, like he was checking through one of the crates. “What kinda business?”
You hesitated again. Part of you wanted to keep that piece of your life separate from Logan. But he’d been honest with you about a lot of things—his past, his work, even some of his regrets. It seemed only fair to give a little in return.
“...A bakery,” you finally admitted, almost cringing at how mundane it sounded compared to the world you two operated in.
There was a long pause on the other end. Then—
“A bakery?” Logan repeated, his voice thick with disbelief. “Like… cupcakes and cookies bakery?”
“Yeah, Wolf,” you said dryly, feeling heat creep up your neck. “I bake things. It’s called having a hobby.”
He made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “Just tryin’ to picture it, that’s all. Our resident hacker pullin’ cookies out of the oven.”
“Is that so hard to imagine?” You switched to another feed, tracking his progress through the facility. “I bet you’d like my cookies.”
“Yeah?” There was a hint of teasing in his voice now. “You gonna make some for me sometime?”
You bit your lip, surprised at the sudden flutter in your chest at the thought. “Maybe. If you’re good.”
“Darlin’, I’m always good.”
“Debatable,” you shot back quickly, but your smile softened at the edges. “But I’ll keep that in mind.”
There was another pause, and you could hear Logan’s soft exhale through the comms. “You really own a bakery?”
“Yes, really,” you said, feeling oddly defensive now. “I’m not making it up just to sound cute.”
He chuckled again. “I didn’t think that. Just… didn’t see it comin’, is all. Got any specialties?”
You blinked at the sudden change in tone, a mix of genuine curiosity and something else you couldn’t quite place. “Well, I make a mean chocolate croissant.”
“Chocolate croissant, huh?” He sounded like he was mulling it over. “Could go for one right now.”
“Focus, Wolf,” you teased, but there was a warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the coffee beside you. “Get through this mission, and maybe I’ll let you try one.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” His voice was low, a promise wrapped in that simple statement.
For a moment, the two of you fell into a comfortable silence. It was strange how easy it felt, talking like this. Like you weren’t two people who only knew each other through voices and screens. Like there was something more.
“Alright, I’m in position,” Logan murmured, breaking the silence. “What’s next?”
You glanced at the feed, spotting the final target. “There’s a control panel just ahead. Shut it down, and we’ll have full access to the data we need.”
“On it.” There was a soft thud as he moved forward, the sound of his claws retracting. “Phantom?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks… for keepin’ me company. Makes this kinda work a little less shit.”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you struggled to find your voice for a second. “...Anytime, Wolf.”
And you meant it.
---
After 5 months of The Organization searching, the base of the mutant trafficking ring was finally found. It wasn’t just you and Logan, but other’s out on the field searching, and now things were coming to a head.
Ricky had briefed everyone—the field agents and those, like you, behind the computers. Everyone was in position, and tonight, after months of planning, the mutant trafficking ring was finally going to be shut down.
You took a steadying breath, fingers hovering over your keyboard. The screens in front of you were filled with various feeds: security cameras, schematics of the building, comms channels. It was go-time, and as much as you liked to pretend you were calm, there was a knot of tension in your stomach. You knew what was riding on this mission—innocent lives, and for some reason, your thoughts kept circling back to one person in particular.
“Phantom, you there?” Logan’s voice came through your earpiece, low and steady.
“Yeah, Wolf. Right here.” You sat up a little straighter, adjusting the headset. “You good?”
“Never better.” He sounded almost amused. “How ‘bout you? Keepin’ those fingers of yours nimble?”
You rolled your eyes, even though he couldn’t see it. “I’m ready to go. All feeds are online, and I’ve got eyes on every entrance. You’re at the west side of the building, right?”
“Yep.” He paused, and you heard the faint shuffle of boots against gravel. “What’s your status?”
“Locked and loaded,” you replied, scanning the feeds. “Looks like we’ve got a dozen guards outside, plus more scattered throughout the building. The main target’s in the central office on the second floor. You’ll need to cut through the lower levels to get there.”
“Got it. You got eyes on the others?”
You quickly toggled between the different comms channels, listening in on reports from the other teams. “Everyone’s in position. Team Alpha is covering the south, Bravo’s moving to secure the exit routes. You’re clear to start your approach.”
Logan grunted in acknowledgment, and you watched on one of the monitors as he started moving through the shadows, staying low and out of sight.
“Be careful, Wolf,” you murmured, your voice softer than you intended.
“Careful’s my middle name,” he drawled back, a hint of that signature cockiness coming through. “You just keep those pretty eyes on the feeds and tell me if someone’s gonna try and sneak up on me.”
“Always do,” you shot back, smiling despite the tension in the air.
There was a pause on his end, and then: “What’s the fastest way to the office from here?”
You glanced at the building’s layout, quickly mapping out a route in your head. “Take the staircase to your right, follow the hallway down two doors, then take a left. You should be able to bypass most of the guards that way. Just… watch for the tripwires.”
“Roger that. Stay on me, Phantom.”
“Like I’m ever not.” You kept your eyes glued to the screen as Logan moved through the facility with practiced ease. Despite the tension thrumming through your veins, there was a strange calmness in listening to his breathing over the comms, knowing you were right there with him, even if it was only in a digital sense.
“How’s it look up ahead?” he asked after a few moments of silence.
“Two guards at the end of the hall,” you reported, zooming in on one of the feeds. “They’re armed, but they’re not paying attention. You should be able to take them out quietly.”
Logan didn’t respond, but you saw him slip into the corridor, moving like a shadow. A few seconds later, both guards were down, and he was back on the line. “Clear.”
“Nice work, Wolf.” You leaned forward, fingers flying over the keyboard to hack into the security system. “I’m disabling the cameras on the next floor. You should have a clear path to the office, but I’m picking up some chatter—looks like they’re getting suspicious.”
“Let ‘em get suspicious.” There was a low, dangerous edge to his voice now. “I’m ready.”
You couldn’t help but grin a little. “That makes one of us.”
“C’mon, Phantom, you know you love this shit,” he teased, but there was a warmth in his tone that made your heart skip a beat. “All that adrenaline. Gets the blood pumpin’, doesn’t it?”
You bit your lip, shaking your head even though he couldn’t see you. “I’m not the one out there risking my neck. That’s your job.”
“Yeah, well… you’re doin’ a hell of a job keepin’ me from getting my ass shot off.” There was a pause, and then he added, almost softly, “Don’t know what I’d do without you, darlin’.”
You blinked at the screen, momentarily caught off guard by his words. “...Just stay focused, Wolf. I’m not pulling your ass out of this if you get cocky.”
“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. I’m good.” His voice turned serious again as he approached the central office. “I’m at the door. How many inside?”
You quickly cycled through the cameras, counting the figures inside. “Three guards. One unarmed. That’s the target. If you move quick, you should be able to neutralize them before they call for backup.”
“Got it.” Logan’s voice was low, almost a growl. You watched as he shifted his weight, preparing to make his move. It was always a little nerve-wracking, watching him go in like this, but you trusted him. He knew what he was doing.
Your fingers danced over the keyboard, disabling the cameras in the immediate area. “I’m taking out the cameras around the office. You’re clear for entry. Make it fast, Wolf.”
“Don’t worry. I’m on it.” He paused for a beat. “How’s the rest of the team doin’?”
You glanced at the other feeds, tracking the movements of the different teams scattered throughout the building. “Team Alpha just took out the last of the perimeter guards. Bravo’s securing the exits—no one’s getting in or out without us knowing.”
“Good. Let’s end this.” There was a soft click as Logan pushed the door open, slipping inside the office with deadly precision.
The guards barely had time to react. You watched in awe as he took them down with a combination of swift strikes and quick, lethal movements. He was a blur of action, and within seconds, the only people left standing were Logan and the target—an older man who looked like he’d just seen a ghost.
“Please, don’t—” the man stammered, holding up his hands in a pathetic attempt at self-defense.
“Shut up,” Logan growled, grabbing him by the collar and slamming him against the wall. “You’re gonna answer a few questions for me.”
You leaned closer to the screen, keeping an eye on the other guards roaming the hallways. “Careful, Wolf. We don’t know if he’s got any backup on standby.”
“Yeah, I got it.” He gave the man a rough shake. “Who’s runnin’ this operation? Where’s the rest of the mutants you’ve been trafficking?”
The man sputtered, his face pale. “I—I don’t know! I just handle the logistics—transport, security—”
“Bullshit.” Logan’s claws extended with a sharp snikt, and you could hear the man’s terrified gasp even through the comms. “Try again, bub. And don’t lie to me.”
You zoomed in on the screen, checking for any signs of incoming guards. “Logan, I’m picking up movement on the lower levels. It’s not one of ours—looks like reinforcements. You need to hurry.”
“Copy that.” He leaned in closer to the man, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “Last chance. Where are the mutants?”
“Storage room—basement level—cage twelve!” The man practically screamed the words, his eyes wide with fear. “Please, I swear, that’s all I know!”
“Storage room, basement level, cage twelve,” you repeated quickly, already pulling up the layout of the basement. “I’m sending the coordinates to Team Bravo now.”
“Good.” Logan released the man, who slumped to the floor, trembling. He stepped back, claws retracting. “Now sit tight. You’re gonna have some company soon.”
The man whimpered but didn’t move as Logan turned and made his way out of the office. You switched your focus back to the basement, watching as Team Bravo moved in to secure the mutants.
“They’re in position,” you reported, keeping your voice calm. “Looks like… ten, no, twelve mutants total. All of them are alive.”
“Alive, huh?” Logan’s voice softened just a fraction. “That’s somethin’, at least.”
“Yeah.” You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. After months of hunting down leads, false starts, and dead ends, it was finally coming together. “We did it, Wolf.”
“Not yet, we haven’t.” His tone turned serious again. “We still gotta get ‘em outta here. You got a path?”
“Working on it.” Your fingers flew over the keyboard, pulling up the building’s blueprints. “Okay, there’s an access tunnel two levels down from where you are. It leads straight to an underground parking garage. If you can get them there, we’ll have transport waiting.”
“Got it. I’ll head down now.” He paused for a moment, then added quietly, “Good work, Phantom.”
You felt a warmth spread through you at the unexpected praise. “Same to you, Wolf. Just… stay safe, okay?”
There was a soft chuckle on the other end. “Don’t you worry ‘bout me, darlin’. You just keep doin’ what you do best.”
You stayed on the line, guiding him through the lower levels as he made his way to the basement. The rest of the mission went off like clockwork—Team Bravo secured the mutants, Team Alpha kept the perimeter locked down, and Logan made sure no one got in their way.
By the time it was all over, the mutants were safe, the ring was shut down, and the remaining traffickers were either captured or taken out. It was a resounding success, and yet, as you watched Logan emerge from the building, something inside you felt… off.
“Logan?” you called out softly, your voice hesitant. “You good?”
“Yeah. Just tired.” He sounded a little rough around the edges, but that was to be expected after a mission like this. “What about you? You doin’ okay?”
You let out a soft breath, leaning back in your chair. “Yeah, I’m good. Just… glad it’s over, I guess.”
“Yeah.” There was a pause, and then he added, “You did good tonight, Phantom. Real good.”
“Thanks, Wolf.” You smiled, even though he couldn’t see it. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”
He grunted softly, the sound almost affectionate. “Bet you say that to all the guys you babysit.”
“Only the ones I like,” you teased, feeling a little bolder now that the mission was over. “But seriously… thanks for trusting me out there. I know it’s not easy.”
“Trust ain’t somethin’ I give lightly,” he murmured, his voice low and sincere. “But you earned it. Over and over.”
You didn’t know what to say to that, so you settled for a soft, “...I’m glad.”
There was another beat of silence, and then Logan’s voice came back, a little lighter. “So, when am I gettin’ that chocolate croissant?”
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Guess you’ll just have to swing by my bakery sometime, huh?”
“Maybe I will.” He sounded thoughtful, like he was considering it for the first time. “Soon as I figure out where the hell it is.”
“Good luck with that,” you teased, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nerves. “But if you do find it… first croissant’s on me.”
“I’ll hold you to that, darlin’.” There was a warm, teasing lilt to his voice now. “Take care, Phantom.”
“You too, Wolf.”
And with that, the line went quiet. You stared at the screen for a moment longer, a smile tugging at your lips. It wasn’t much, but it felt like a step—toward something new, something real.
Maybe one day, you’d get to see the look on Logan’s face when he finally tasted one of your croissants.
But for now, this was enough.
---
It had been a few weeks since the mutant trafficking ring was taken down, and since then, things from The Organization had been quiet. You were sure that soon, something would happen, and you’d have a new mission or cause to fight for, but for now, life was… normal. Or, as normal as things could get for you.
During the day, you focused on your bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread and sweet pastries filled the small space, the steady hum of business keeping you busy. You didn’t have to think about The Organization or anything outside of kneading dough and serving customers. It was a welcome change of pace, a grounding routine that gave you some much-needed breathing room.
But at night, when the bakery was closed and the streets outside your shop went quiet, your mind wandered back to Logan—and those long conversations over the comms. The teasing back and forth. The gruff but genuine praise. The way he’d been so protective of you, even when you were just a voice in his ear.
You leaned against the counter, wiping your hands on your apron as you glanced around your empty shop. The bell above the door jingled, and you glanced up, expecting to see one of your regulars who’d forgotten to grab something before closing.
But it wasn’t one of your regulars.
It was him.
Logan.
He stood in the doorway, his broad frame almost filling it completely. A beat of silence passed as you stared at each other, and then he stepped inside, his boots making a soft thud against the wooden floor.
“Hey, darlin’.” His voice was the same deep, rough tone you remembered, and yet hearing it in person made your heart skip a beat. He glanced around the bakery, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Figured I’d finally swing by and see if your croissants live up to the hype.”
For a moment, you couldn’t speak. He was here. Here. In your bakery, standing in front of you like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“Logan?” You blinked, trying to wrap your mind around it. “How—how did you find me?”
He shrugged like it was nothing, but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Did a little diggin’. Asked around. Turns out you’re not as good at hiding as you think.”
You felt a flush rise to your cheeks, a mix of surprise and… something else. “And you just—decided to show up out of nowhere?”
“Thought you could use some company,” he replied easily, but there was a seriousness in his gaze that told you this wasn’t just a casual visit. “Been too quiet lately. I don’t do quiet well.”
You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”
“Neither can I,” he murmured, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before he glanced at the display case filled with pastries. “But since I am… you gonna give me that croissant, or what?”
The corner of your mouth lifted, and you reached behind the counter, pulling out a fresh chocolate croissant. You placed it on a small plate, sliding it across to him. “First one’s on the house, remember?”
Logan took the plate, his fingers brushing against yours for the briefest of moments. A spark shot through you, but you quickly pulled your hand back, pretending like it hadn’t happened.
He lifted the croissant, inspecting it with a critical eye before taking a bite. You watched, holding your breath as he chewed thoughtfully. Then, he swallowed and nodded.
“Not bad, Phantom. Not bad at all.”
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, a smile breaking out on your face. “Just ‘not bad?’ I think I’m a little insulted.”
He chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that sent a shiver down your spine. “Okay, fine. It’s good. Real good.” He took another bite, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t ya?”
“I could say the same about you.” You leaned against the counter, studying him. In the soft light of the bakery, he looked a little more relaxed, less guarded. There was still that roughness to him, but there was something else, too—a quiet sort of contentment. “So, what’s the real reason you’re here, Logan?”
He raised an eyebrow, finishing off the croissant before setting the plate down. “What, a guy can’t visit his favorite hacker?”
“Nice try.” You gave him a look, crossing your arms. “But I know you better than that.”
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Maybe I just wanted to see for myself that you’re okay. That this place is real. That you’re… real.”
You felt something tighten in your chest, your gaze softening. “I’m real, Logan. You know that.”
“Yeah.” He looked around again, as if trying to memorize every detail of your little shop. “But it’s different, seein’ it with my own eyes.”
There was a weight to his words, a sincerity that made your heart ache a little. You’d spent so many nights talking to him, listening to his voice, getting to know him in a way that felt almost… intimate. And now he was here, standing in front of you, and it felt like a dream.
“Do you—” You hesitated, biting your lip. “Do you want to stay for a bit? I’ve got coffee. Or tea, if that’s more your style.”
Logan’s lips twitched into a small smile. “Coffee sounds good.”
You turned to make a fresh pot, your hands moving on autopilot as your mind raced. What did this mean? Why now? You’d thought maybe, someday, you’d meet Logan in person, but you hadn’t expected it to be like this—so sudden, so… normal.
“So,” Logan drawled, leaning against the counter as he watched you, “what’s next for you? Gonna hang up your hacker hat and just focus on bakin’?”
You glanced over your shoulder, giving him a wry smile. “You think I could actually stay out of trouble for long?”
He huffed a quiet laugh. “Nah. Don’t think you’re cut out for the quiet life, darlin’.”
“Guess we have that in common, huh?” You poured the coffee, sliding a mug over to him. “But for now… I’m taking a little break. I think I’ve earned it.”
“Yeah, you have.” He took the mug, his fingers brushing against yours again. This time, neither of you pulled away. “So… what’s the plan now? Just you and the bakery?”
“For now.” You shrugged, looking around the shop. “It’s nice. Calming, even. Keeps me grounded.”
Logan studied you for a long moment, his gaze intent. “You know, I never pictured you like this. With flour on your apron and—what’s that?” He reached out, brushing his thumb lightly against your cheek. “Frostin’ on your face?”
You froze at the contact, your breath catching in your throat. His touch was surprisingly gentle, the roughness of his thumb contrasting with the softness of your skin. You stared at him, caught off guard by the sudden intimacy of the moment.
“I—uh—” You cleared your throat, feeling your face heat up. “Occupational hazard, I guess.”
“Hmm.” His thumb lingered for a heartbeat longer, then he pulled back, his expression softening. “Guess it suits you.”
You swallowed, trying to steady your racing heart. “What about you? What’s next for the great Wolverine? Gonna go back to the X-Men?”
Logan chuckled, leaning back slightly as he sipped his coffee. “Who said I ever left? Maybe I was doin’ this as my side job.”
You raised an eyebrow, giving him a playful look. “Oh, so the big bad Wolverine has a side hustle now? Should I be worried you’re going to start making croissants too?”
He smirked. “Nah, I’ll leave the bakin’ to you. But maybe I’ll stick around, see how things go.” His eyes held yours, that familiar teasing edge mixed with something else—a quiet intensity.
“Stick around?” you asked, not entirely sure where he was going with this. “In New York? Thought you weren’t a fan of big cities.”
Logan shrugged, his gaze flicking around your cozy bakery again. “It grows on ya. Plus, I got reasons to hang around now.”
The way he said it, so casual but pointed, made your heart skip a beat. “Reasons, huh?”
He leaned forward, setting his mug down on the counter. “Yeah, Phantom. You think I spent all those nights listenin’ to you talk, gettin’ to know you, just to go back to business as usual?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the directness of his words. You tried to bring things back to normal, to calm your racing heart, but perhaps you only made it worse with his response. “Y- you don’t have to call me that, you know? Or- anymore, at least.”
Logan’s eyes locked onto yours, a spark of curiosity flickering in his gaze. He leaned forward, elbows resting on the counter. “Oh yeah? So, what should I call ya?”
You hesitated, feeling the weight of his question. It was such a simple thing—your real name. Something you’d kept hidden, not out of fear, but because keeping a wall between your real life and Phantom had made things… easier. Safer, even. But you felt safe with him standing in front of you, even if it was the first time meeting face to face.
“Y/N.” You finally said, quietly with a small smile.
Logan’s eyes softened, something shifting in his expression as he repeated your name—almost testing it out. “Y/N, huh? Suits you.”
You shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the warmth spreading through your chest. “Figured it was time to be on a first-name basis, Wolf.”
His lips twitched into a smirk at the nickname. “Wolf,” he repeated, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. “You’ve been callin’ me that for months. Thought you’d drop it once I was standin’ right in front of ya.”
“Why would I do that?” you shot back, your smile growing a little more confident. “It suits you, Wolf.”
Logan chuckled, shaking his head. “Fair enough.” He leaned back, his gaze never leaving yours. “Guess I’ll stick with ‘Phantom’ for old times’ sake.”
“‘Y/N’ is fine,” you said softly. “I think we’re past codenames.”
He nodded slowly, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Y/N, then.” The way he said it—slow and deliberate—made your heart flutter. There was something so personal about it, so… intimate. You’d spent so long hiding behind ‘Phantom’ that hearing your real name in his voice felt almost surreal.
You glanced down at the counter, clearing your throat to break the tension. “So,” you said slowly, a hint of mischief creeping into your tone, “now that you’ve tried my croissants, what’s next on the list? Gonna critique my muffins too?”
Logan’s smirk widened, his eyes glinting. “Oh, I’m definitely stickin’ around long enough to try everything on that menu, darlin’. Gotta make sure it’s all up to snuff.”
“Uh-huh. Just don’t expect me to bake for you every day,” you teased, but there was a warmth in your voice that you couldn’t quite hide.
“I dunno,” he drawled, leaning forward slightly, his voice dropping to a lower, more intimate tone. “Kinda like the idea of you makin’ me breakfast.”
Your heart skipped a beat, your breath catching in your throat. You chuckled back at him, putting the towel in your hand over your shoulder, “yeah? Bet you say that to all the women you meet.”
Logan’s smirk grew, the corner of his mouth lifting in that way you’d come to recognize as trouble. “You think I go around findin’ bakeries just to get breakfast from pretty hackers?”
“Pretty hackers?” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “Didn’t know I was your type, Wolf.”
He shrugged, leaning back in his chair with an easy confidence. “You’re my type if you keep makin’ croissants like that.”
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Nice recovery.”
There was a beat of silence, and Logan’s smirk softened, replaced by a more thoughtful look. His eyes swept around the shop again, taking in the cozy space as if trying to understand something deeper about it—about you.
“This place,” he said quietly, breaking the silence. “It’s yours, huh?”
“Yeah,” you replied, a touch of pride in your voice. “Bought it a couple of years ago. Did most of the renovations myself. Not the hacking kind, though.”
Logan nodded, his gaze lingering on the shelves lined with baked goods and the flour-dusted counter. “Figured you’d be in some high-tech lab or somethin’. Not… this.”
You smiled, glancing around your bakery. “What? Don’t think I can bake and hack at the same time?”
“Nah, it’s not that.” He paused, his brow furrowing slightly as if he were searching for the right words. “Guess I just never thought about what your life looked like when you weren’t on a mission.”
“Well,” you said softly, meeting his eyes. “This is it. Flour, sugar, and a whole lot of early mornings.”
Logan tilted his head, studying you like he was seeing a whole new side of you. “It suits ya.”
You shrugged, feeling a bit exposed under his gaze. “It’s not as exciting as fighting bad guys, but… it’s mine.”
“Doesn’t have to be exciting all the time,” he murmured. His voice was quieter now, more serious, and it made you pause. “Sometimes… it’s the quiet stuff that matters.”
You felt a warmth spread through your chest at his words, your heart doing that annoying fluttering thing it did whenever he got unexpectedly sincere. “Yeah, well, quiet doesn’t seem to be your style, Logan.”
He chuckled, a low rumble that sent a shiver down your spine. “Yeah, guess not. But maybe I’m workin’ on that.”
You gave him a playful smirk. “You? Working on ‘quiet’? I’ll believe it when I see it.”
He leaned forward, his arms resting on the counter as he looked at you, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Maybe you’ll see it sooner than you think.”
Your teasing smile faltered slightly, your heartbeat picking up again. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Logan held your gaze for a long moment, something unspoken hanging in the air between you. “Means I’m stickin’ around, Y/N. If you’re okay with that.”
Your breath caught at the way he said your name—your real name, not Phantom. There was a weight to it, like he wasn’t just talking about the bakery or the city. He was talking about you.
“Logan,” you started, your voice a little shaky as you tried to keep it light, “are you saying you want to be a regular customer?”
He smirked, but the seriousness in his eyes didn’t fade. “Somethin’ like that. Thought maybe I’d get to know the person behind the croissants… and the computer screens.”
Your heart raced, and you couldn’t help but smile, even though you felt a little breathless. “Well, considering you just showed up without a warning, I’d say you’re off to a good start.”
Logan’s smirk widened. “Always liked makin’ an entrance.”
“Yeah, well,” you said, shaking your head, “next time, maybe give a girl a little heads-up.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” he teased, though his voice had softened.
You didn’t have a snappy comeback for that, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. The bakery felt smaller, quieter, like the world outside had paused, leaving just the two of you in this little bubble. You’d known him for months, heard his voice in your ear during some of the craziest situations, but this—standing here in the same room, with him right there—felt different. Real.
“So,” you said after a beat, your voice a little quieter now, “what’s the plan? You just gonna hang out in New York for a while? Or…?”
Logan shrugged, but there was something thoughtful in his expression. “Dunno. Figure I’ll stick around, see how things play out. Been on the move too long. Might be time to slow down a bit.”
“Slow down?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. “You?”
He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, I know. Doesn’t sound like me, does it?”
You smiled, leaning against the counter. “Well, if you’re serious about sticking around, you’d better be ready for a lot of early mornings.”
Logan’s gaze flicked to the flour on your apron and the slight mess on the counter. “Early mornings, huh? Guess I can handle that. Long as there’s coffee.”
You laughed softly, feeling that familiar warmth in your chest again. “I think I can manage that.”
There was another pause, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind of quiet that felt… nice. Like neither of you were in a rush to fill the space with words.
Finally, Logan straightened up, glancing toward the door. “Guess I’ll let ya get back to it. Don’t wanna keep you too long.”
You felt a flicker of disappointment, but you quickly pushed it down, giving him a smile instead. “You’re always welcome, you know. Next time, I’ll save you a muffin.”
Logan’s smirk returned, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “I’ll hold you to that, darlin’.”
He took a step toward the door, but then he paused, glancing back at you. “Y/N?”
“Yeah?” you asked, your heart skipping a beat at the way he said your name again.
“Don’t be a stranger,” he said softly, his gaze holding yours for just a moment longer before he turned and walked out the door, the bell above it jingling softly in his wake.
You stood there for a long moment, staring at the door long after he was gone, your heart still racing.
---
Logan’s unexpected visit left you in a whirlwind. For the next few days, it was hard to focus on the usual routines of the bakery. Each time the bell over the door chimed, your heart leapt a little, thinking maybe, just maybe, it’d be him again. But Logan didn’t show, and you tried to remind yourself not to overthink it. He was just… being Logan. Coming and going as he pleased, without a word or explanation.
But then, one evening, just as you were flipping the Open sign to Closed, you noticed something slipped under the door—a folded piece of paper with your name scrawled across it in a familiar, rugged handwriting.
You picked it up, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, and opened it.
Got a place in mind. Be ready at 7. —W
No address. No other details. Just a time and a cryptic note.
You found yourself smiling despite your confusion. Of course, he’d pull something like this. He couldn’t just ask you to dinner like a normal person—he had to be all mysterious about it. But then again, it was part of his charm.
The day passed in a blur. By the time you were getting ready, nerves had settled in. What exactly did Logan mean by ‘got a place in mind’? Was this a date? Just… friends hanging out?
You pushed the thoughts away and focused on getting dressed. Something casual, but not too casual. Comfortable, but still showing you’d put in some effort. You settled on a pair of well-fitting jeans and a soft sweater that was flattering but not over-the-top.
Right at 7, there was a soft knock on your door. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself, and opened it.
Logan stood there, looking the same as always and yet… different. Maybe it was the way he’d traded his usual jacket for a dark button-down, or the fact that he looked a bit unsure himself, his gaze flicking over you in silent appraisal before settling on your eyes.
“You look good,” he said, his voice gruff, but there was an honesty in his tone that made your cheeks warm.
“Not bad yourself, Wolf,” you replied, earning a small, almost shy smile from him.
“Ready?” he asked, holding out his hand.
“Ready,” you confirmed, and you stepped outside, locking the door behind you.
---
Logan had borrowed a bike—one of those big, heavy motorcycles that roared to life when he turned the ignition. He tossed you a helmet, then helped you onto the back. Your hands found their way around his waist, your fingers brushing against the fabric of his shirt, and for a moment, the world seemed to narrow down to just that—your arms around him, the rumble of the engine beneath you, and the feel of his solid form against you.
“Hold on tight, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice low and rough in a way that made you shiver.
The ride through the city was exhilarating, the cool night air whipping past you as Logan navigated the streets with ease. You had no idea where he was taking you, but you trusted him. You’d always trusted him.
Finally, he pulled up to a secluded spot along the East River, away from the usual tourist traps and bustling crowds. You could see the lights of the city skyline reflected in the water, the soft sounds of the river lapping at the shore creating a serene backdrop. There was a small wooden table set up nearby, with a blanket laid out and a picnic basket resting on top of it.
You blinked in surprise, glancing between the setup and Logan. “Did… did you do this?”
Logan rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncharacteristically sheepish. “Yeah, well. Figured we’ve had enough high-stakes meetin’s. Thought you deserved somethin’ different.”
Your heart melted a little at that. He’d gone through the trouble of planning something just for you—a quiet evening, just the two of you, away from the chaos of missions and comms.
“It’s perfect,” you said softly, meeting his eyes.
He gave a small nod, visibly relieved by your reaction. “Good. Now c’mon, let’s eat before it gets too cold.”
The two of you settled down at the table, and you couldn’t help but smile as Logan unpacked the basket. It was mostly simple stuff—sandwiches, fruit, a bottle of wine—but there was an almost endearing quality to it, like he’d put in effort but hadn’t tried to overdo it.
“Didn’t know what you liked, so I kinda… winged it,” he admitted, glancing at you almost nervously.
“It’s perfect,” you repeated, smiling at him. “And honestly? I’m just happy you’re here.”
Logan’s gaze softened, his eyes lingering on you in that way that made your stomach flip. “Yeah. Me too.”
The conversation flowed easily after that. You talked about everything and nothing—the bakery, old missions, even random bits about your lives that had never come up before. He was surprisingly open, and you found yourself sharing more than you usually would, the relaxed atmosphere making it easy to let your guard down.
As the evening went on, you found yourself inching closer to him. At some point, the two of you ended up side by side on the blanket, the picnic basket forgotten as you stared out at the lights reflecting on the water.
There was a comfortable silence, the kind that didn’t need to be filled. You glanced over at Logan, feeling that familiar flutter in your chest. He was looking at you with an expression that was hard to read—soft, almost contemplative.
“What?” you asked softly, feeling a little self-conscious under his gaze.
“Just thinkin’,” he murmured, his voice low and rumbling. “You’re even prettier in person, you know that?”
You felt your face heat up, and you looked away, letting out a soft laugh. “Logan—”
“I mean it,” he interrupted gently, reaching out to brush your cheek. His touch was light, tentative, like he wasn’t quite sure if it was okay. “Been drivin’ myself crazy, wonderin’ what you’d look like. But seein’ you now… Hell, Y/N, I don’t think I did you justice.”
Your breath caught at the way he said your name, his gaze intense and unwavering. There was something raw and honest in his expression, like he was laying himself bare in a way you hadn’t expected.
“Logan…” you whispered, the words dying on your lips as he leaned in, his face inches from yours.
“I shouldn’t be doin’ this,” he murmured, his voice low and almost regretful. But he didn’t move away. If anything, he shifted closer, his breath brushing against your skin. “But I’ve been wantin’ to since the moment I heard your voice.”
Your heart was pounding, every nerve in your body alive with anticipation. “Then don’t stop,” you whispered, your own voice trembling.
Logan’s gaze flicked down to your lips, and for a heartbeat, everything seemed to freeze. Then, slowly—like he was giving you every chance to pull away—he closed the distance, his lips brushing against yours in the softest, most tentative of kisses.
It was gentle at first, like he was testing the waters, but when you didn’t pull back—when you leaned in, your fingers tangling in the front of his shirt—something seemed to break. He deepened the kiss, his hand sliding up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin.
The kiss was everything you hadn’t known you’d been waiting for—slow and sweet, but with an underlying intensity that left you breathless. You melted into him, the world around you fading away until there was nothing left but the feel of his lips on yours and the warmth of his hand against your cheek.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead resting against yours, you were both breathing hard, your hearts racing in sync.
“Damn, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice rough and low. “Didn’t think it’d feel like that.”
You laughed softly, your own voice a little shaky. “Yeah. Me neither.”
Logan smiled—a real, genuine smile that made your heart ache. “Think we should do it again?”
You grinned up at him, feeling lighter than you had in ages. “Yeah, Wolf. I think we should.”
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gurorori · 1 year ago
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i love my partners. ive been growin to love the fact we r in fact not healthy in how we respond to some interpersonal issues in our relationship & dats ok. we prolly will never b.
i feel like theres so much pressure on people (especially those who r clearly mentally ill) to have relationships dat r only 100% pure n healthy n devoid of negative parts <- n im not tryin to say like 'its ok to have toxic n dangerously unhealthy relationships n let em fester until they r disastrous'.. ive actually had my own fair share of those affect me in ways i still deal with today
but as a deeply troubled mentally ill individual datin a few others who r the same, i think its incredibly unrealistic to expect of us to do a 180° & have relationships dat Dont reflect us..
im happy im slowly gettin more comfortable with facin hardships due to mine or my partners' mental state. i think findin ways to work around & with each others' personal stuff will make us stronger in the end
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rqnarok · 2 months ago
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thinking about being old man!logan’s little housewife...
headcanons - cws/tags: sexual content, mdni! old man!logan. dom/sub undertones. age gap. both characters are of the age of consent. unprotected p in v. 18+ only.
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logan’s all worn out. there is no justification made on depicting how done he is with the world. he lives his days in an accustomed routine - dread crawling on his scarred skin - digging the soil for his own grave. 
when he meets you, however, the horror, the panic, and the terror begin to fade away from his blurry orbs—replaced by the sight of your sugary sweet smile. you kept him calm by easing down his drinking and self-destruction. and he just can’t deny you, not when his dick gets so fucking hard when you’re around.
you can’t help it either. the need to fix someone seems very familiar in your generation—so sentimental and at the same time, pragmatic. never accepting ‘no’ for an answer, including when he tries to back you down by saying “ya’ don’t want me, kid. i’m an old dog.” as if sunlight to a plant, it only motivates you. leaving him flushed red and burrows knitted after you whispered filthy remarks to his ear. 
up to the point where he finally tears down his prejudices towards marriage and puts a shiny ring on your finger. 
he turns a blind eye to anyone glancing at him weirdly at how much older he looks compared to you, his salt-and-pepper beard not helping either. when charles notices the changes in him—how he seems to smile more and how hickeys sprawled up on his neck—he just can’t help but make snarky comments about it. logan’s too old for you (or so charles told him), and logan finds himself balking at that. 
“if she doesn’t want it, she would’ve left already.”
he’s right. if you didn’t want it, you would’ve left him. oh, but you stayed. and not only did you stay, but you also took care of him. letting you eat out the palm of his hands. 
greeting logan when he comes back from his blue-collar work, cooking and baking his favorite foods, ironing his work clothes and spraying the fabric with a lovely scent, kissing his bloodied knuckles, putting the prettiest outfit for him as a show, warming his cock when he sits lazily on the couch, nuzzling his thighs while you wait for him to get harden again, and letting him have you anywhere and anytime he wants.
logan keeps a polaroid of you while he’s away. a reminder to himself that he has a home now. he’d keep it in his wallet or his jacket pocket or hanging it on the car’s rear-view mirror. how empty was he to be so full of you now?
he never thought he would live a life like this—like how it is supposed to be. without you knowing, logan added one or two hours into his shift so that he could earn more extra pennies. the money he’ll use to pamper you, to make you feel comfortable and content. let you buy anything you want—all things on your shopping list are checked out by the end of the week.
and y’know, he’s an old man who’s not as strong as he used to be. so you pay for all this hard work by burying your face in logan’s neck as you ride him on the sofa. his head tilts slightly to catch your red-kissed lips with his - logan breathes something about how good you’re making him feel, “such a good little wife f’r your old man.”
he loves to tease you—telling you that you’re making him feel younger than ever when he’s with you, “gettin’ tired already, baby? need me t’do it for ya’?” his murmurs get to you as his large palms cup your ass, getting a handful of the plush skin before guiding you up and down his girth. 
logan knows how tired you can be, especially when you start whining desperately like this, so he gives one or two light smacks for encouragement, “there ya’ go, kiddo. fuck. don’t stop now. doin’ so well, baby. so good.” 
how you always ask for kisses from him ignites that taboo, perverted part of him he did not even know existed. anything that reminds him of how needy you are for him — feels so fucking wrong. but again, it gets his dick so fucking hard, too. he cannot help but to give in. 
“bet no one has ever fucked this pretty pussy like i have, huh? need a real man to do it.”
he’s so fucking smug of himself since he had you. knowing those boys your age wishes that you choose them instead. but he’ll know that would never happen because when he says something like “look acha, drooling over an old man like me. gonna let me fill ya’ up, hm?” your walls manage to grip his girth tighter - squeezing him in so deliciously logan wonders what kind of a heroism act he did to deserve you. 
makes you do a little ‘fashion show’ for him in the living room, parading yourself wearing all kinds of clothes that he bought. logan spreads his muscular thighs wide as he reads the newspaper—and the sight of him wearing his glasses that rest at the tip of his nose is holy to you, waiting to be worshipped. 
you’d come out with a white lingerie that barely covers anything, “do you like it, lo?” whilst you giggle and twirl in front of him, you almost miss how he adjusted his seating position to palm himself through his trousers. telling you, “c’mere here, baby. lemme take good look at’cha, gimme some sugar.” 
by ‘taking a look’ he means hiking up the sheer cloth to inspect your glistening mound, “hm. such a perfect pussy you got here, sweet’art.” probing his thick finger on the wet slick, humming at the dirty squelching sound. the look that he has makes your legs tremble  - his untrimmed greying beard - his vague-looking face scars. 
oh, coming home to you is the best part of his day. always. he’d see you heating the soup you made earlier and loses his fucking mind. turning off the stove in quick movements before hauling you up in his arms. 
skin meets skin slapping fills the room and praises come out of his mouth so naturally, “f-fuck. gon’ stuff ya’ up, darlin'." you’re vulnerable and bare, you can’t even think when he’s got you like this. 
logan would intertwine his fingers with yours. placing them side by side to see the wedding rings. a legitimate reminder that you’re his and he’s yours—forever. 
“good little wife. my good little wife.” 
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daytaker · 1 year ago
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The Gang React to You Falling Asleep on Them
Lucifer
*deep sigh that speaks volumes to how difficult it is for this man to get any sleep, and here you are, conked out on his shoulder...*
If you don't wake up within a few minutes, he'll have no choice but to move. He is not the sort to be so sentimental that he can't bear the thought of disturbing your precious sleeping face. Of course, he won't be an asshole about it; he'll be careful and try not to wake you up. He might even drape his jacket over you for your nap.
But only if he doesn't need it.
Mammon
"Hey, my arm's gettin' a little stiff, can I just-- ...ah."
Oh. Ah. Alright. Cool. This is happening. Hmm. Damn. Not super comfortable, and it's kinda inconvenient to be trapped here, but, pshh, what's he supposed to do, wake up a sleeping human? He's heard that can lead to...cardiac arrest, or something. He ain't gonna murder you just to move a little sooner.
You did not just start snuggling him in your sleep. Did Mammon score today or did he score today? Too bad his arm's starting to fall asleep, but, well, nothin' in life is free.
Leviathan
"What...? WHAAAAAAT?" (But only in his brain. He doesn't want to wake you up. Mammon says that can lead to cardiac arrest in humans.)
He's pretty sure he's the one who's going to keel over from heart problems at this rate. He hadn't even realized you were getting sleepy. Are you bored watching him tackle this single-player old school RPG? Did you hate it all this time and you never even mentioned it?! Why is your face so close?! Do you not have any idea the kind of mental torture you're putting him through right now?!
Deep breaths, Levi. Deep breaths. This happens in anime all the time. It's...usually a good thing! It means that the main character and their love interest are tripping all the right flags, and... and how long is this scene going to last? Those scenes almost always end with the two still on the couch, then they skip to the next day or something. How long is he going to have to just sit here... suffering...?
After about ten minutes, he's reached his limit and he gently shakes you awake. He is so embarrassed that he insists you go to bed now, and he will not take no for an answer. Good night. Goodbye. *door slams*
AAAAHHHHHHHHH.
Satan
"Hm? Have you been getting enough sleep...?"
Satan would be very pleased with the situation, though probably less intensely excited than Mammon. He'll make whatever small adjustment is necessary for his comfort, then settle in and read for as long as it takes you to wake up. He feels very warm and fuzzy. It's nice. Hopefully you do this more often. But he should really ask you about your sleep schedule. Levi must be forcing you to stay awake too often.
Asmodeus
"Aww, aren't you adorable?"
This is precious. He needs to document it. As soon as he realizes what's happening, he'll carefully pull out his D.D.D., making sure not to wake you up, and start snapping pics. A few of you, a few dozen selfies with you, a few with him pretending to be asleep too, and then a perfect shot of him kissing your forehead. Grammable as fuck.
Er... is that drool he can see in one of those photos? ...You're going to have to wake up. You can't just drool on his brand-name jacket.
Beelzebub
"Oh."
He's used to people falling asleep on him, so this doesn't really throw him for much of a loop. However, he's a bit more careful of waking you up. He knows that if he wakes Belphie, he'll just fall back asleep within a few seconds, but you're not quite so adaptable. So he'll do his best to stay quiet and not move much.
But no matter how hard he tries, he's never going to be able to turn off his stomach. You'll probably wake up with a start as his stomach roars at you about twenty inches from your face.
Belphegor
"...zzzz..."
Who are we kidding, we all know he was asleep first. Probably, he's the reason you fell asleep so easily. He's soft and warm, perfect for drifting off to dreamland...
Diavolo
"Very bold! You really are astonishingly brave."
It's not every day someone has the stones to fall asleep in his presence, let alone fall asleep and use him as some sort of glorified pillow. What a nice change of pace.
He'll continue doing whatever it is he was doing before, but he is a busy demon, running the Devildom and all. He'll slowly and carefully extricate himself when it's time to move, then have Barbatos bring you a blanket and prepare some tea for when you wake up.
Barbatos
"Humans are awfully needy creatures, aren't they."
He can't help but chuckle. You just pass out during the middle of the day? Then again, it's possible you're probably not entirely well. He'll have to disturb the young master to ask what sort of accommodations to make for you. Of course, he's sure Diavolo won't mind. But it's irresponsible to let yourself drift off like this in the castle of the king of the demons, isn't it? This isn't a resort.
Sleep well, human.
Solomon
"You're just looking cute on purpose now, aren't you?"
Oh well! Looks like he's stuck here for now. Too bad. He'll smile, put an arm around you, kick his feet up, and settle in for the long haul. Hopefully you're able to get a good, solid nap in.
Most likely, you both will. He'll pass out too within ten minutes, give or take.
Simeon
"Oh- shh. There, there."
Well, if you aren't adorable... You must be so tired. He's glad you feel so at ease with him that you let yourself fall asleep, and you certainly look cute, but he's also a little concerned that you're this tired. He'll patiently wait for you to wake up. Then he'll make you some tea and gently remind you to take better care of your health.
Luke
"Eh...?! Hey! ...WAKE UP!"
How tired are you?! You need to get better sleep! Sheesh, you need to be more careful too. You almost crushed him.
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moremaybank · 7 months ago
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tending to jj's cuts and bruises after he defends your honour... (based on this post and this request) [0.8k]
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"Ow."
Your hands work diligently at the cut etched across his cheekbone from your stance between his legs. For a moment, one wanders off, stroking his non-battered cheek in a silent apology for the added pain.
"You did this to yourself," you state matter-of-factly. "No one told you to turn into the Hulk."
"Well, you don't have to be mean about it."
"I'm not trying to be mean. I just don't understand why you can't let shit go sometimes."
You move on to his split lip. A jagged, dark red line cuts through the mouth that you think about far too often. You ache to kiss it, believing that maybe you occupy the healing powers he so obviously needs, but then you think better of it.
There's no way he feels it too.
You dab a wet towel at his lip, cleaning off the dried blood, and once his mouth is free, he chooses to defend himself, thankfully with his words this go around.
"You didn't hear what he said about you, Y/N/N. I wasn't about to jus' let him get away with that shit."
Your eyes meet his, and you pause your movements. Though you appreciated his loyalty and how he'd always stick up for you no matter the cost, you never enjoy when he actually goes to those great lengths just to protect you.
Simply having him in your corner was more than you could ever ask for.
"Kelce is an idiot. I don't care what he has to say about me, and you shouldn't either."
"Well, I do. He's lucky he didn't leave in a bodybag."
Your eyes narrow at him. "You're impossible."
"'M jus' sayin," he says. His tender and sore hands travel up the sides of your thighs, warmth blossoming through you in their wake. He gives your flesh a squeeze. Funnily enough, he can no longer feel the pain flashing through them like lightning bolts now that he's touching you. "I'll never let anyone say or do anythin' to hurt you, princess. I'll always protect you."
You feel the warmth bloom in your cheeks, and you're eternally glad that he isn't holding your face the way he always does. You'd be busted if he were.
You offer him a small smile, one you can't suppress. How can you be expected to after those sentiments?
"Look, I know I probably sound like a broken record, but you can't keep putting yourself in the position to get in trouble. You're not a kid anymore, and you've had enough run-ins with the law as it is."
"'M not scared of gettin' in shit, Y/N/N."
"I'm serious," you frown down at him.
"So am I. Fuck the opps."
You scoff, wanting to wipe that devilish smirk off his face. "You sound like Pope."
"Who d'you think taught him that?"
You know he thinks this is all just a joke. Not the defending you part, but the getting in trouble with the law part. He'll always do what he feels he needs to, regardless of the possible consequences. It's just how he is. Still, you don't think it's a joke. You hate how Shoupe and the rest of them take all his indiscretions and use it as ammo to remind him that he'll never escape the southside. You'd hate to be the reason that he 'proves them right.'
"J, I mean it." You set the items that occupy your hands down on the marble counter, and grab his face in your hands, careful of his cuts and bruises. "All I'm asking is that you try and keep it together. Please. I don't like watching you get hurt."
He's silent for a moment, analyzing your words and the sincere look on your face. Yeah, you're his best friend, but it's always a nice reminder that someone actually wants to look out for him and care for him.
He likes it even better when it's you who's doing so.
The corners of his lips turn up and his hands migrate to the backs of your thighs. He uses his hold on you to urge you closer. "You're worried about me."
You give him an incredulous look. "Yes, JJ. I worry about you. After all this time, I don't even know why you question that."
"'Cause you're the only one who does."
You melt inside, and you're sure you do so on the outside as well. Your eyes soften, and to distract him from it, you go back to cleaning him up, reaching for some q-tips and the disinfectant.
His eyes flutter closed when you touch him again.
"If you wanted attention, you coulda just said so," you joke, unable to resist poking fun at him.
"Shut up," he says, laughing softly. His eyes are open again, and he looks up at you so tenderly that he wants to tell you what he's been feeling all this time.
I love you.
It's on the tip of his tongue, but when he wills it to leave his mouth, they refuse him.
He goes for the next best thing.
"Look, I'll try to...control myself. No promises, though."
A small smile graces your lips. "Thank you."
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concepts ; concepts (ii)
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merakiui · 10 months ago
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maybe, i'm afraid.
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azul ashengrotto x (female) reader cw: slight angst, nsfw, azul bottles his feelings and is insecure note - happy birthday to my favorite tako in the whole world. <3 may you have wonderful days forever!! // loosely inspired by lovelytheband's "maybe, i'm afraid."
i. spring - dancing in your party dress, you were singing me some frank sinatra as you wept. pull me close enough. it seems like we lost touch, so hold me as the record skips.
“Can you believe we’re gonna be fourth years?!” Kalim exclaims with wide, sparkling eyes. They look like twin garnets set into his face—polished jewels having caught the aquatic illumination from Mostro Lounge’s aquarium. “Time really does fly, huh!”
“Feels like yesterday,” Ruggie agrees around a mouthful of food. His plate is stacked as high as it can possibly get, piled with contrasting flavors. “Pretty crazy to think we’re all gonna be heading off in different directions soon.”
Jade nods. “Our school lives are as fun as they are fleeting.”
An odd quiet falls over the three of them, which is soon broken when Floyd drapes himself over the booth. He leans down to swipe a sliver from Jade’s plate. “Whatcha talkin’ about?”
“Just reminiscing.”
“Ah. S’bout that time, ain’t it? Gettin’ sentimental in the spring.”
“Makes sense. The semester’s ending and people are starting up their internships or going home. Really makes you think…”
Ruggie gazes at the group huddled near the bar. Riddle, Jamil, and a half-awake Silver chat alongside you and Azul. You seem to be in the middle of a riveting story, for your arms gesticulate wildly. Azul looks on with what Ruggie thinks is the most mushy-gushy, ooey-gooey smile he’s ever seen.
“We’re gonna come back in the winter, aren’t we?” Kalim asks, tilting his head.
“Indeed. For the cultural festival.”
“Yeah, that’s right! It’ll be fun to see you guys after so much time apart. Oh, we should all keep in touch! That way it’ll feel like no time has passed at all.”
“Perhaps not for us.” Jade follows Ruggie’s line of sight, landing on one person in particular. “For others, the gap is cavernous.”
“What do you mean, Jade?”
Floyd catches on then. “S’not our fault he’s not sayin’ anything.”
Ruggie shrugs. “It doesn’t concern me.” He pops up from his spot in the booth, grinning. “It’s been great and all, but I’ve gotta get my fill. Wouldn’t be right for a guy to skimp out when it’s Azul hosting.”
Giggling, Floyd waves him off. “You do that, Sharksucker.”
Kalim turns to the twins, brows raised. “You’re talking about Azul?”
“He’s been swept up in Shrimpy ever since. It’s been—how long now?—about two years or something.”
“Oh.” Kalim blinks back at him, slow on the uptake. And then, seconds later, it hits him. “Ohhh! He likes (Name)!”
“There ya go.”
“I’m afraid he’s yet to confess,” Jade adds around a bite of cake. “You should see the plans he’s drafted. Dozens of them, in fact. Each one is… Oh, perhaps I’ve said too much already.”
“I don’t get it. If he likes (Name) so much, why wouldn’t he just confess? Why make plans?”
“Wow, Sea Otter, you don’t play when it comes to feelings, do ya?”
“If it was me, I’d want everyone to know how much I care about someone.” To demonstrate this point, he cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, “You’re the best, (Name)!”
You glance past a now wide-awake Silver at the twins and Kalim. Mirroring his actions, you reply in a giggly voice, “Thanks! You’re great, too, Kalim!”
Beaming, he says, “See? It’s not so difficult. If Azul needs any help, I’d be happy to—”
Floyd throws his head back and cackles like a madman. “Not so difficult for you!”
Jade masks his amusement behind a gloved fist. “My, my. I think I’ve just witnessed the very soul drain from Azul’s eyes. You have quite the talent, Kalim.”
Kalim doesn’t hear the underlying meaning or the backhanded barb in his statement. “He’s got time, doesn’t he?”
“That’s what he keeps saying. But deep down he knows.” Floyd watches Azul hurry to recover his composure before anyone can notice. “He’s leaving for his internship after school’s over and then graduation’s next spring. He’s running out of time.”
“Does (Name) like him? Maybe she’ll confess before he does!”
“That’s just it. He doesn’t know what Shrimpy feels for him. Been driving himself crazy all school year tryin’ to figure that one out.”
“I suspect he’s grown excessively cautious as a result of his fear of rejection,” Jade explains, dragging his fork through the buttercream smeared on his plate.
“But if he confesses now and she doesn’t feel the same, he’ll have all summer to recover.” Kalim turns his stare on you next. “(Name)’s always been nice. I’m sure she wouldn’t shatter his heart.”
“When you’re Azul, even the tiniest push is enough.” 
“Really? But he’s always so strong!”
Jade hums. “Three hearts are quite the boon-burden.”
“Only makes lovin’ someone that much worse. Cuz then you’re lovin’ ’em three times as much.”
“Isn’t that good? I think it’s sweet Azul cares about (Name) so much.”
“Sweet…” Jade shares a look with Floyd. Something unspoken passes between them. “Yes, I suppose that’s one way to put it.”
“Azul thinks it’s a pain in the ass. Throws him off his course and he loooves bein’ on his course.” 
Kalim stares a moment longer. “Maybe he needs a push in the right direction.”
“Liquid courage works wonders—”
“—or gives way to woe.”
“Nothing like that.” He doesn’t elaborate further, instead getting up and padding over to the bar with a cheerful bounce in his steps. “Hey, everyone, let’s take a picture!”
Riddle welcomes him with a warm smile. “Ah, hello there, Kalim.”
“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” Jamil comments, arms folding across his chest. Which, arguably, is worse because it can only spell trouble should Kalim find himself inspired.
“Way ahead of you!” You hold your Ghost Camera up, turning the lens on Kalim. Lighting up like the very sun in the sky, he poses just as you snap a photo. It takes a few moments for it to develop, but once it does you hand it over to him for his perusal. “Looking good as always.”
“Aww, thanks! Okay, your turn next! Let’s get a big group photo and then individual photos.” With the camera now in his possession, Kalim’s free to fidget with it as he pleases. “Ooh, this is neat!”
“Careful with that!” Jamil bounds forward just in case. “The Headmage gave that to (Name). Don’t break it.”
“I won’t,” Kalim promises, holding it up to capture you and Jamil in its sight. “I think I’ve got it! Everyone, group up! Picture time!”
There’s lots of fumbling. An argument about height breaks out. Floyd pokes fun at Riddle for having to stand in front to account for his height. Riddle fumes, red with anger, and stomps his foot indignantly—all while insisting he’s still growing. You offer to stand beside him, but he hisses at you like a cat: “Don’t patronize me! I’m of perfect, healthy stature for someone my age!”
Kalim looks on from behind the camera. “Actually, can we get (Name) and Azul together first?”
Azul, who had been in the process of adding to the joke with a comment of his own, hesitates. He peers at Kalim, his walls rising. “Me?”
“Yeah! Only fair to put you front and center. You’re the host, after all!”
“Ah, right. Of course. But then—”
“Why me?” you ask, confused. “If anything, I should stay out of the picture. I’m not a third year like the rest of you.”
Kalim gasps, scandalized. “We can’t do that! It doesn’t matter what year you are. You’re still our friend, and parties are for everyone to enjoy.”
“Doesn’t that throw off the original plan?” Ruggie wonders, munching on a frosted donut.
“Kalim, we need to account for height. Riddle can’t stand in the back.” Jamil glances apologetically at Riddle. “That’s just the reality of it.”
Riddle huffs, refusing to dignify that with a response.
“I’ll stand in the front,” Silver offers.
“What? No, that’s not the issue here, Silver.”
“It’s not? I thought we were picking who stands beside (Name).”
“Ooh, I wanna stand with Shrimpy!” Floyd wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your head. “C’mon, Sea Otter, take our pic!”
Jamil sighs. “All of you…”
“Shall we take individual photos with (Name) first?” Jade suggests, smiling placidly at Kalim.
This time the message is received loud and clear. “Oh, great idea, Jade! Azul and (Name), could you stand next to each other?”
The group disperses to allow you and Azul to do just that. Rigidly, Azul steps closer. He keeps a healthy distance between your bodies, one Jade picks up on right away.
“Please smile and pretend like you love each other,” he instructs, to which Azul flusters.
“W-What? Jade, that’s—”
“C’mere, Ashengrotto! I don’t bite!”
With a joyous laugh, you wrap your arm around Azul’s waist and drag him in close. He stumbles, flushed in the face, just as the camera flashes. The corresponding photo slides out next, blank for a while. Eventually, the image begins to show up with striking clarity.
“How’s it look? Great, right?” As soon as it happened, it’s gone—your warmth. The comfort of being held. Azul almost pursues you when you release him from your grasp and move towards Kalim to inspect the photo. Thankfully, he catches himself. “Hey, this is nice! Good job.”
You and Kalim share a high-five.
“Me next, Sea Otter!” Floyd crowds in, baring his pointed teeth in an unruly grin.
With everyone’s attention on you, Kalim, and the camera, Azul’s left to stand behind in silence. Anticipating the rainless deluge, Jade lingers within earshot.
“I know,” he mutters in a brittle tone. “Don’t say a word.”
“Not a peep. Although if I may share just a tiny tidbit… Kalim offered some very helpful advice. You may want to hear it.”
Azul stares at him, stunned. “You told Kalim?”
“Not directly, no. It was implied.” Jade averts his mismatched eyes on purpose. “More or less.”
“I should’ve made you and Floyd sign NDAs…”
“Is it really so sensitive?”
“Yes! Yes, of course it is!” Azul deflates with a sigh, looking on mournfully. You’re trying to snatch the camera from Floyd’s hands. He holds it up and out of reach, laughing raucously. “What did he say?”
“If you confess now, you’ll have the entire summer to mend your tattered heart.”
Azul barks out a short, hollow laugh. “In an ideal world, that’s easy.”
“You’re making it more difficult than it needs to be.” Jade issues an encouraging smile. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Are you seriously asking that?”
“It’s just something to consider.”
A minute ticks between them. Jade watches the scene alongside Azul, delighting in distant chaos.
“I’m afraid, Jade,” he admits quietly, the confession as soft and fragile as a single breath. “She’s everything and I’m…nothing.”
Jade frowns in disagreement.
“I’ve looked at it from every conceivable angle. There isn’t any calculated risk to be made—no potential profit or success to be had.”
“Are you certain?”
“Very.”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt to get it off your chest. We have a few weeks left before the break. If not your heart, perhaps you could establish a means to communicate?”
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt… For the sake of networking—”
Jade chuckles. “Networking? Is that it?”
Azul scowls. “You’re awfully irritating tonight.”
“I’m not the one with his tentacles tied, hopelessly infatuated.” 
“You—”
“(Name), there’s something Azul would like to tell you,” Jade announces, and you turn to look at him.
Azul thinks he should just go ahead and die right there. Is it possible to spontaneously combust if he thinks about it long enough? Is such a phenomenon magic? All he needs to do is visualize it and then the spark will catch and—
“Yeah? What’s up, Azul?”
Azul flounders, his concentration broken. Like he’s done so many times in the past, he plasters his trademark smirk-grin on and falls into the shoes of the sleazy conman. “If you ever find yourself in need of study materials even after I’ve graduated, do not hesitate to contact me and I—”
You laugh. “I think I’ll be good. Thanks, though.”
With withering confidence, he chuckles. “I could give you quite the deal. You’d be missing out…”
You roll your eyes, unconvinced.
Jade—annoying, asshole Jade—brushes past, smooth as sea glass. “I shall take my leave, but please continue your chat. I believe there’s a camera waiting to capture the memory of me.”
Now it’s just you and Azul. He clears his throat, suddenly awkward.
“(Name), I—”
“Azul—”
“Oh.” He stares at you, a smile twitching on his lips. “You first.”
“No, no, you spoke before me.”
“Ah. Well…”
If you confess now, you’ll have the entire summer to mend your tattered heart. As if a love that’s been flowering for two years could possibly be resolved within the span of a few months.
He tries again even though it’s not what he really wants to say. “I do hope you’ll have a pleasant summer.”
“You as well.” You nudge him. “Kick ass at your internship.”
“I intend to.” Right. Internship. Work. Business. He can hold a normal conversation if that’s the topic. “And you? Do you plan to stay here?”
“Yeah. Crowley’s letting Grim and me live on campus since we don’t have anywhere else to go. I’ll work part-time in Craneport. Summer is a great season for tourism, but I shouldn’t have to tell you that.”
Azul laughs. “If it’s a family, they may spend more on kid’s menus for the novelty of it all. Be sure to talk it up to truly sell it. All children deserve to know the magic of a seasonal menu, do they not? Food in fun shapes. Fairy tales and sparkles. All of that razzmatazz. It’s the experience they’re paying for, after all.”
“Is that advice free?”
“Is it?”
“Fine, fine.” You dig through your pocket and hand him the photo from earlier. “Your payment, good sir. A memento of me.”
Azul takes it from you, admires your effortlessly pretty smile, and then freezes. “Oh, I look positively dreadful!”
“Not at all. It adds character.”
“A horrid sort of character.”
You sidle up beside him, peering at the picture. “I like it. It’s a photo of an imperfect Azul.”
“What an ambiguous compliment.”
“I’m serious! It’s Azul when he’s not acting. I like imperfect Azul. He’s authentic. A real person.” You pat him on the shoulder. He stiffens, betraying his initial nonchalance. “Or maybe not. One day I’ll catch you off guard.”
“We’ll see.”
“One day…” Your attention is stolen when you catch sight of the group attempting to bunch together for a selfie. Offering Azul that same smile he’s admired ever since he saw it, you add, “Have a fun summer. Don’t be a stranger next year, okay?” And then you’re bounding across the lounge. “Wait for me! I want in, too!”
For the rest of the semester, Azul keeps the photo tucked away in his phone case.
I have time to mull over the pros and cons, he tells himself when he departs through the mirror, summer break at his fingertips.
ii. summer - maybe i’m just too good. maybe i’ll run away. maybe i’m over you. maybe i shouldn’t stay. maybe i just don’t care. maybe i talk too much.
It occurs to you, while sorting through the photos you’ve taken throughout this past school year, that there’s an absurd amount of Azul. Whether on his own or with others, he appears in more photos than anyone else. You wonder how that happened—how you managed to be there for so many of his moments, each one documented in photographic permanence.
Some of them are humorous. Azul looking unimpressed when you lifted your camera to capture him. Grim jumping into his arms to demand snacks. His glasses sitting crooked on his face. Some of them are endearing. Azul reading in a comfortable nook in the library. Azul smiling fondly at the lens during an alchemy lesson. Azul laughing after you cracked a joke during PE. Some of them are animated. Azul waving at you from across the courtyard. Azul rolling his eyes at a dull pun. Azul playfully blowing a kiss to the camera after you told him to do something memorable. Some are special. Azul in his birthday robes. Azul during that time Mostro Lounge became a butler café for one week. Azul on his last day of the semester, leveling the camera with a roguish smirk.
This one—the most recent and last photo taken of him—is especially important. It’s the conversation that prompted an unforgettable expression that fills you with butterflies whenever you recall it.
“I think you’ll miss me,” you told him, elbowing him for good measure.
“I think I will,” he replied, his lips curling.
Unequipped to deliver a witty retort, you could only gawk.
“Don’t tell me that’s all it takes to shock you into silence.” He chuckled, and there was that infamous smirk-grin—sitting so perfectly on his face, as if it was meant to be there for this very exchange. “You’re too easy, (Name). Where’s the challenge?”
Wordlessly, you raised your Ghost Camera and snapped his picture.
There are so many facets to his person that you’ve managed to catch on your camera—complex layers you wouldn’t have otherwise witnessed if you hadn’t spent so much time around him.
Now you realize why you have an abundance of Azul photos.
We sure hung out a lot this year, and every time I had my camera…
Is he your muse? Is he just naturally photogenic? He fits into plenty of backgrounds, but it’s never the scenery that fascinates and bewitches. It’s always his expression, his body language, his emotions. And the reason all of these photos are so important is because this is an Azul who is comfortable enough to show these sides to you. An Azul who wants you to document his best and his worst, his beautiful and his ugly, his silly and his serious.
Sitting at your desk, thumbing through stacks of photos, you know he’s more than a muse. As you watch Azul move in various pictures, you wonder what he’s doing. It’s only a month into summer, but everything feels so slow. Campus has cleared out, and with it the lounge has closed for the season. You’re certain he still has his ways of making profit and spreading word of its wonders. Azul isn’t foolish. He’s always working an angle. Endlessly clever and stubbornly ambitious.
Does he miss me, too? you think, running your finger over his smiling face. Or was that just something he said to get a reaction?
Just then, a gut-wrenching thought lodges itself deep: Are we even friends? What if he thinks I’m a nuisance? Maybe he’s just tolerating me and all this time I’ve been delusional.
You glimpse the photos again, watching Azul laugh soundlessly in an animated loop. What am I to you, Azul?
As if on cue, having sensed your sadness, arms wrap around you from behind. For a second you think it’s Grim, but then you see distinctly human hands clasping together. You whirl, startled out of your skin, to find Azul Ashengrotto standing there.
“Wha… What?”
He’s…here. Azul is standing in your bedroom.
You blink once and he remains. You blink twice and he’s still there, gazing down at you with soft, smiling features.
“Hello to you as well.”
“Hey…?” You pat his cheek and flinch away. “Oh, you’re real!”
“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?” Chuckling, he withdraws and moves to stand at your deskside. “I’m wounded. To think you would forget me just like that. And I thought I was plenty memorable.” He blows you a mock kiss then, and that’s when it finally strikes you.
This isn’t your Azul. This is an Azul from your photos.
How is this even possible? you think, scrambling to find which picture—which memory—he’s from. In doing so, you remember a particularly unique fact about the Ghost Camera. It’s a magical device that allows a photographer to capture slivers of their subject’s soul, which gives way to a special sort of connection known as a soulbond. The deeper the bond, the more likely the person in the photographs is to take on animation and, in some cases, slip out of the image that contains them.
So this is Azul from the time at which he was last photographed, you determine, holding up pictures to match his corporeal likeness to that of the scenery. The Ghost Camera is so cool…
“I missed you, you know.”
“Did you now?” He leans in close, curious. “How much?”
You push him away with a weak scoff. This isn’t good for your heart. Any closer and you might say something you’ll come to regret.
“Not as much as you think.”
“Is that so?” His gaze pans over to the pile of photos on your desk. “And these photos are simply here for convenience?”
“D-Don’t worry about it! Summer project. You wouldn’t get it.”
He flashes his teeth at you in a bright, competitive grin. “Try me.”
“You’re so nosy. Don’t you get tired of prying?”
“Not in the slightest.” He leans against the desk, his arms folding casually over his chest. “That’s besides the point. You’re avoiding the subject at hand.”
You turn in your chair and open your mouth to reply—why are you so invested in this?—but a better idea crops up. Meeting his cerulean stare with fierce, fiery eyes, you challenge him: “If it matters so much to you, I could be convinced to share my plans for the small price of one kiss. A real kiss. Not that fake one from before.”
Azul blinks back at you, a smirk crawling onto his face. “Is that all you desire?”
“What do you mean by—”
Your question is cut off when another set of arms embraces you from behind. Warm, soft lips press against your cheek; his breath tickles your ear.
“Are two not better than one?”
With a yelp, you jerk back so fast that you almost fall out of your chair. Standing there, looking very proud of himself, is another Azul. But this one, unlike Dorm Azul, is dressed in his school uniform. A very helpful distinction.
“D-Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
It’s the only coherent sentence you can manage. Your mind is a panicked muddle: I can’t believe it. Two Azuls. Am I dreaming? This is definitely a dream, right? There’s no way he’d kiss me on the…
You slap your hand over your cheek, gasping. “Y-You kissed me?!”
“Is that not the price you wanted me to pay?” School Azul asks, one brow raised as if daring you to deny that fact.
Dorm Azul’s fingers curl under your chin, guiding your gaze towards him. “Unless you’d like to raise the price…”
You swallow thickly. This can’t be happening.
“Of course, in raising the price, it’s expected you raise the value of the information you’re willing to divulge,” School Azul adds with a chuckle. “Is that not fair?”
You shrink under both of their insistent stares. “W-Why do you even wanna know?”
“Why not? Any information is good information so long as it’s useful.”
You scoff, but it comes out choked and shy. “I… I’m going to use these photos to put together a present for you. I know your birthday’s so far away, but I’m getting a head start.”
“And this present would entail…?”
You click your tongue at him. “I already paid my half for that kiss. No more.”
“Aah, is that right?” Dorm Azul leans in, kissing dangerously close to your lips. You reach up to touch the corner of your mouth after he’s pulled away. “How much for the full story?”
“How much are you willing to pay?”
School Azul rests his chin on your shoulder. His hands settle on your waist, pulling you up from your seat. This proximity allows you to feel his hair as it brushes against your face. Dorm Azul closes the distance as if it’s second nature, and now you’re sandwiched between the both of them.
Your heart stumbles in your chest. He’s quite literally surrounding you, but you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
“A very valid question.” Dorm Azul glances coyly at School Azul. “What do you think, Me?”
“Will we be enough for you, (Name)?” he purrs, rubbing slow circles into your hips.
You’re dizzy in their arms, your entire body warming with anticipation and embarrassment alike. Is it okay to be selfish? Even though this isn’t technically Azul—just mere memories of him—it seems so real. He’s holding you, touching you, reaching for you…
“Hmm. Two does seem to be a bit much.”
“Let’s call it a holiday and say it’s seasonal spoiling.”
“A gift for the summer.”
“Do open the window to let in the breeze. The heat is prone to making one feel rather…stuffy.”
They’re doing this on purpose. Maybe another Azul is more troublesome than I once thought. I can only handle so much charm!
Shrugging off self-doubt, you grab Dorm Azul by his lapels and yank him towards you, sealing the space that once separated your mouths in a hungry kiss. He melts against you, eyes fluttering shut. It’s quick and starved, the way you chase each other’s lips. You cling to him before you can fall, arms looped around his neck to keep him near.
Fully clothed and achingly desperate, you loathe the unbearable heat, but nothing is more molten than the space between your thighs.
Meanwhile, School Azul takes his sweet time running his hands along your sides, up the length of your body until he reaches your chest. With his form pinned to yours, you can feel his erection pressing against your ass. Rather shamelessly, he rolls his hips. You’re pushed up against Dorm Azul next, who takes hold of your hand and guides it to the strain in his slacks. He pulls away briefly to allow School Azul to slide your shirt up and over your head.
“Were you anticipating this?” he whispers, taking hold of your breasts.
“No way,” you protest between kisses. “Not… No. K-Keep dreaming. It’s too much trouble to wear one in the summer. Gets hot and—”
Dorm Azul captures your lips in another ravenous smooch, and the objection dies in your throat.
“There’s no need for these pesky articles where I’m from,” School Azul murmurs. He presses kisses into your bare shoulder, humming his very obvious delight. “You’d have already been laid out beneath me if that were the case… Soft and sweet, all mine to love at the bottom of the sea…”
“Humans have so many steps,” Dorm Azul laments, tutting.
“And merfolk don’t?” You try to sound smart with your question, but it comes out breathless when your nipple’s twisted between two fingers. “Oh…”
“Not when it comes to clothing. The very concept doesn’t exist beneath the waves.”
“You could visit sometime and see for yourself. I’ll welcome you with open arms.” Dorm Azul rests his forehead against yours. “And maybe then you’ll find yourself so taken with my home that you’ll want to stay.”
“A tempting offer.”
“But?” he prompts, his gaze falling to your hand as you palm him through his pants. He inhales a shaky breath.
“What’s stopping you?” the other Azul asks, his voice muffled in your skin.
“Firstly, I’m not a mer.”
“My dear, that’s nothing. Have you forgotten my proficiency in potionology?”
“And how much will one of your potions cost? I’d love to visit, but if it’s going to bankrupt me—”
“For you, a single kiss is all I require.”
“Isn’t that awfully cheap?”
Dorm Azul chuckles at this back-and-forth. “You say that as if you want me to charge an exorbitant amount.”
Glaring, you squeeze him out of revenge. His laughter comes out choked next, replaced with a needy whimper. Unbelievable.
“Maybe I do.”
“I would be careful with those words, dearest. I might take them to heart.”
He ruts against your hand, panting into your mouth. The kiss is sloppy and wet, all tongue and saliva. You move on instinct, grabbing at his shoulders when you’re taken to bed next. Both Azuls peer down at you from where they kneel on either side of you. They issue you hazy, lust-drunk smiles. Hands wander, feeling every inch you have to offer. You shut your eyes and submit to titillating touches.
“You really did miss me,” School Azul remarks when his fingers slip into your shorts to rub you through your sodden panties. Your breath hitches, a strangled whine squeezed from your throat, and he laughs. “I missed you, too.”
“I really like you,” you blurt, chest heaving with your every breath. He squeezes your clit to draw another sinful groan from you. “I think—Azul, you’re so—I think you’re so amazing… I wish we talked more. The year—aah… It went by so fast.”
“It did, didn’t it?”
“I wanna know you—the real you. I wanna know what Azul’s like when he’s comfortable and when he’s sad and when he’s happy. I wanna—ooh! Please… Please, Azul…” You grab fistfuls of the sheets, arching up towards the hands that caress your stomach lovingly. “I just want you.”
“And you’ll have me,” he—you’re not sure which—promises, leaning over to kiss you. It’s soulful passion, lust bleeding into love. Your cries are lost on his lips when you come undone beneath him, buoyant on a mellow wave.
You sense the loss before you see it.
Half-nude and gasping for breath, you stare up at the ceiling. Your bedroom is empty. All that remains of the Azuls are the animated memories imprinted on the photographs.
“I’m losing my mind…” you mutter, draping your arm over your eyes.
Please let summer pass quickly.
iii. winter - maybe all we are is fools with hearts that tried too hard. and maybe that’s just fine as long as you’re here in my arms.
Azul paces restlessly in his VIP room. It’s been months since he’s seen you, but his heart hasn’t swayed in the slightest. If anything, he’s only grown fonder in the time spent apart. Absence… What a bothersome thing.
“You’re gonna walk yourself into the floor, y’know. Your shoes’ll be all worn out by the time you’re done.”
“I’m aware,” Azul quips, uncharacteristically jittery. He turns towards Floyd. “Do I look presentable? Is anything crooked or misplaced? How about my hair?”
“You’re fine.” At Azul’s disbelieving glower, Floyd pouts. “I mean it. Shrimpy’s gonna like it either way.”
He bristles, defensive. “Who said anything about (Name)?”
“No one, but you’re thinkin’ it.”
“I… T-That’s besides the point! It doesn’t matter. She’s only here because I invited her. Common courtesy and all that.”
“Mm, I dunno about that one.”
Azul frowns at the vault set into the wall behind his desk. If only he could pack all of his fears in there and lock them away for good. Then he could continue masquerading as someone fearless and confident. With winter having descended upon campus, bringing with it layers of fluffy, glittering snow, and the cultural festival having concluded successfully, Azul finds himself lost.
This is the last birthday he’ll celebrate at Night Raven College and, subsequently, the last February he’ll spend with you. He’s running out of time.
“Invitation or not, Shrimpy’ll always wish you a happy birthday. S’not like her to forget. Plus, she cares about ya.”
“You can’t be sure of that.”
Azul’s tone is so sharp that Floyd raises his hands in defense. “Guess not.”
“What would you do?” He inhales a wobbly breath. “If you were in my shoes…”
Floyd scratches the back of his neck, contemplative. “Dunno. Guess I’d wait for the right moment and say somethin’ to get it outta my system.”
Azul sighs. “Jade said something similar.”
“He ain’t wrong.”
“I’m not prepared.”
“No one is.” Floyd smiles at Azul’s baffled expression. “C’mon, Azul, you can plan all you want, but you know life’s never gonna go the way you want it to. S’just how it is.”
“Even so, it’s better to know all viable routes and options before diving into uncharted waters.”
“That’s just it. You can’t know. S’kinda the whole point, ain’t it?”
“I can’t do it,” he decides, the words heavy on his tongue. “I’d rather accept my future failure now than continue working towards it.”
“Like a coward.”
“Far from it! In business, that’s known as rescission. It is a completely valid method of—”
“You ever realize your feelings and business are two separate things? Not everything’s gotta be about business.”
Azul stands there, nonplussed.
Floyd makes for the door, stopping only to add, “Your fly’s unzipped, by the way.”
“You—” He scrambles to check. Much to his relief, it’s not. “Honestly… That’s not even funny.”
He smooths nonexistent wrinkles, schools his expression into something brave, and exhales slowly. I’m not going to ruin an occasion as grand as this with a half-baked confession.
Having made up his mind, he steps through the door out into the bustling lounge. Like clockwork, all eyes turn to him. He searches the crowd for you, hopeful. But before he can locate you, party poppers resound with a loud bang. Confetti trickles down like colorful rainfall, landing on his suit and getting stuck in his hair.
“Happy birthday, Azul!”
He wants to run and hide. He wants to dive into the sea and seek solace in his favorite octopus pot. He wants to bury himself in the sand and disappear.
Instead, he smiles and spreads his arms like he’s just pulled off an astounding magic trick. “Why, thank you, everyone! I’m pleased you could make it. Do enjoy yourselves to the fullest tonight.”
Cheers erupt amongst the partygoers, but they might as well be on a completely different island. Azul turns, hoping to make his rounds and escape, but Kalim intercepts him. Jamil isn’t far behind.
“Azul, happy birthday!” Kalim smiles just as Jamil catches up.
He passes two expertly wrapped gifts into Azul’s empty hands. “On behalf of Kalim and myself, thank you for the invitation.”
“Yeah, super thanks! It’s been so much fun. I hope you’ll like your gift, but if you don’t just let me know and I’ll get you something else. Whatever you want! You deserve it on your special day.”
Azul looks past him, not in the mood to entertain. “Yes, of course. It’s not a problem.”
Jamil raises a brow, but then it clicks. “(Name) wanted me to pass on her regards.”
As expected, that draws his attention. “Why’s that?”
“She wasn’t sure if she’d get to see you on your big, busy day.” Jamil eyes Azul knowingly.
Kalim nods. “We ran into her on the way here, but she said to go on without her.”
Azul doesn’t like the way they’re both looking at him—as if they’re in on some joke he’s not currently aware of.
“Well,” he says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “her regards are well-received.”
“You’re not going to meet her?”
“It’s my big, busy day, isn’t it? I’m afraid she’ll have to catch me at her earliest convenience.” Azul, gifts in hand, smiles. “Please do enjoy the party, you two. Thank you again for your thoughtful gifts and birthday wishes.”
On his way to the table designed for gifts, Azul spots Riddle, Silver, and Ruggie. They stand off to the side, chatting amongst themselves. He supposes, if anything, he might as well say hello. Setting the gifts down, Azul struts over.
“Good evening, gentlemen. I do hope you’re enjoying yourselves.”
“You know it. Parties at Octavinelle are always somethin’ else,” Ruggie says. Unsurprisingly, he’s done well to fix himself a plate and more. With him around Azul doesn’t have to fret over food waste.
“Your presentation at the cultural festival was very informative, if I may say so,” Riddle commends, sipping his fizzy beverage.
“As was yours.” Azul’s smile tightens. For some reason, he’s always felt the need to walk on eggshells around Riddle. And for good reason, too! Whatever Azul seems to accomplish, no matter how lofty a feat, Riddle seems to do better. “I’m sure you’ve had quite the rewarding experience yourself.”
“Indeed.”
“It’s good timing,” Silver notes, and all eyes drift towards him. Azul perks up. Timing. He needs more of that. “Your birthday came right after the festival. It’s almost like celebrating your hard work and another healthy year all in one.”
“Never thought about it that way. Guess it makes sense when you put it like that.” Ruggie grins cheekily. “Lucky you, Azul.”
“I wouldn’t call it luck. The dates just happened to align… Either way, thank you, Silver. I’m pleased you can look at it with such inspiring positivity.”
“You catch up with (Name) yet?”
“No? Am I meant to?”
“Just asking.” Ruggie shrugs. “She had me run a few errands for her yesterday. Said it was all for your sake, but when I tried to get more info outta her she told me I’d have to wait for ‘the big reveal’—whatever that is.”
Now everyone’s looking at him. Azul feels small.
“With how often I’ve heard her name tonight, I’d think she’s the one with the birthday.”
“Is she really so popular today? Odd. I haven’t had the chance to greet her,” Riddle muses.
“I thought I saw her this afternoon.” Silver furrows his brow, uncertain. “She seems busy.”
“Which is precisely why I can’t fathom the insistence that I ought to have met with her already.”
Ruggie tilts his head. “That the only reason?”
Just how many people are in on this asinine joke? More importantly, which eel is he going to have to wring out for spilling a not-so-secret secret?
Azul realizes his mask is slipping and so he repairs it expertly. If Ruggie takes notice of this, he doesn’t say anything. “It’s bad manners to show up late to a party. I’m sure one of us will agree.”
Riddle nods, but his words are surprisingly lenient. “Life happens. I suppose we can’t fault (Name) entirely.”
“She’ll make it. I’m sure she will. Don’t worry, Azul,” Silver reassures.
He’s not. He won’t. He isn’t.
“If the world was ending tomorrow,” Ruggie says, sliding into a new subject with practiced finesse, “what would you all do?”
“The end of the world…” Riddle frowns. “That’s impossible.”
“It’s a hypothetical. Anything’s possible.”
Silver hums thoughtfully. “I’d spend what time I have left with my loved ones.”
“You sure you’re not just gonna go running back to Briar Valley to protect Malleus?”
“As a guard it’s my duty, but fighting against the inevitable would be pointless.” Silver looks to the rest of them for their input. “If the world is ending and there’s nothing a guard like myself can do to prevent it, then I can only offer what’s left of my time.”
“So companionship. Okay, good to know. What about you, Riddle?”
He huffs. “I refuse to let the world end before I’ve accomplished my goals.”
“Yikes. You academic types don’t rest, do you?”
“No, no, it’s true,” Azul pipes up. “I agree. Why am I going to let the world get in the way of my plans?”
“So both of you are going to resist it until the very end?”
“You said anything can happen in a hypothetical, yes?” Riddle smirks. “In my hypothetical the world says it’ll end tomorrow, but it never does. It keeps saying so like it’s a faulty forecast. The end of the world is scheduled for next week, the week after, three weeks from now. By then, a year’s passed and the world still hasn’t ended.”
Ruggie groans. “That defeats the whole purpose of my question. You can’t give yourself more time when it’s already so limited.”
“Anything is possible if you know what you’re working with,” Azul adds, nodding alongside Riddle. “I quite like this hypothetical.”
“Leave it to the honors students to logic it out and make it more complicated than it needs to be…”
“You wouldn’t spend it with your loved ones?” Silver asks, but it appears as if the question is directed entirely at Azul. “I think I’d want to tell them the things I never got to say. Things I put off saying… Would you do that, too, Azul?”
“I…” He shuts his mouth and then opens it. “I’m not sure what I could possibly say within such a limited timeframe.”
“It doesn’t have to be complex.”
“I guess a good, old ‘love you lots’ is better than nothing,” Ruggie says.
Azul stops short. The end of the world. Time. Loss. Loved ones.
Time! He’s running out of time!
“Well, this was quite the lively discussion, but I’m afraid I’ll have to excuse myself now. There are a few more people I must meet.” Azul smiles gratefully at the three of them. They wish him another happy birthday before he finally departs, his heart in his throat.
He’s running out of time.
Logically, Azul knows the feeling doesn’t reflect his reality. It’s not as if he has to confess by the end of the school year. Logically, he has his entire life to confess. But who’s to say you’ll stay in his life after he graduates? You might be gone by the time he finally finds the right words, the right time, the right circumstance.
You can plan all you want, but you know life’s never gonna go the way you want it to.
Floyd’s right. There’s no way of knowing for sure until he does it. There’s no way to know what lies in those uncharted waters until he dives in. There’s no way to know where your heart lies until he confesses.
The world isn’t going to end tomorrow, but if he doesn’t say what he needs to before graduation he’ll never have another chance. And then that world—the world contained within NRC’s boundaries—will implode and that will be that.
At that very moment, a camera flashes. He spins around to search the photographer out and—
There you are, striding through throngs of people to reach him. There you are, dressed for the occasion. There you are, wearing that pretty smile he sees in his dreams.
“Happy birthday!” You turn the photo towards him for his viewing pleasure. It’s of him, staring off into space. He looks so stone-faced with his knitted brows and pursed lips. “Sorry about showing up late. I had to add the finishing touches to your present.”
You hand it to him. The amateur wrapping job makes the gift appear more lumpy than it actually is. It’s heavy like a textbook. Shaped as such, too. Azul wonders what its contents could be. Perhaps something relating to economics? A novel in a particular genre?
“Thank you very much. I’ll take good care of both.” He tucks the picture into his breastpocket, battling the urge to tear into your gift now. He needs to know. What did you get him? What could it possibly be? “I’m glad you could make it.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
“Even if the world was ending?”
“Uh… What?”
“Ah, never mind that. It was simply a lingering thought from a previous conversation.”
“That’s so grim! And on your birthday, no less.”
Azul waves his hand through the air. A playful smile draws his lips apart. “Can you believe Riddle said he’d make the apocalypse wait on his behalf?”
“Seriously?” You snort, eyes brightening with amusement. “Even the apocalypse gets a schedule…”
He barks out a laugh. “Insanity, isn’t it?”
“Maybe for us, but definitely not for Riddle.” You glance at him. “What about you? What does Azul Ashengrotto’s last day look like?”
He intends to answer with something prepackaged: Awash in success until the very end!
“Alone.”
“Really? No friends or family by your side?”
“Would that make it better? Perhaps being surrounded by others only intensifies the dread.”
There’s some sort of symbolism in coming into the world alone and going out the same. Azul just can’t quite phrase it eloquently.
“Maybe there’s no right answer. Maybe there’s not any comfort in it either.” You run your fingers over the edges of your Ghost Camera. “We can’t know what lies ahead until we’re there. Maybe that’s why we spend so much time theorizing.”
“Quite the insightful judgment.”
“For the record, I wouldn’t mind being your plus-one for the end of the world.”
“I’m flattered.” He grins. “I shall be yours in return.”
“No strings attached?”
“All the strings attached. So many,” he exaggerates.
“No fair!”
Silence fills in the cracks. You stand side by side, drinking in Mostro Lounge’s upbeat atmosphere. After some time, you nudge him.
“Look at us, speaking about all of these sad things. It’s your birthday, not a funeral!”
He wonders if now’s a good time. Should he lighten the mood and confess? But wouldn’t that just make it even more serious and somber? Is there ever going to be an opportune moment?
You can plan all you want, but you know life’s never gonna go the way you want it to.
Surprises. Spontaneity. Luck. All things left to chance. All things Azul attempts to anticipate. He thinks back on the many plans and what-ifs he calculated and wonders if it was worth it.
“(Name), I just wanted to say—” He stops himself, his fingers curling around the gift cradled in his arms. I love you and I want you in my life. I don’t want the world to end here with you and me. I want to know what lies beyond and experience it with you—the good and the bad. Everything. “I just wanted to thank you.”
For being my friend. For being yourself. For existing in the same world as me, even if it feels like we’re doomed to be islands apart.
“What’s this? Genuine thanks? Am I going to find an anemone on my head next?”
“That can be arranged. Isn’t it tradition to grant the person of the hour one birthday favor?”
“Hah! You wish!”
I do. I really do.
The party wears on into the night. Azul repeats the same mantra as before: I have time.
When he’s in his room, gifts piled high on his desk, he sits back in his seat and carefully unwraps yours. It’s a book, leather-bound and regal. It looks expensive. While attempting to approximate its value, he reads the title spelled out with alphabet stickers: My Azul. His brow furrows. Just what are you playing at here?
Cautiously, he opens the book to the first page. Your writing winks back at him: Happy birthday, Azul! This is my gift to you. It’s a chronological journal of your school life! :D People often say it’s difficult to picture themselves through the eyes of others, so I wanted to show you what I see every time I look at you. I hope you’ll never forget just how important you are. If you ever do, open this book to remind yourself.
With love always,
(Name).
“Curious,” he mumbles, flipping the page. The layout reminds him of a scrapbook. You’ve decorated it with stickers and patterned tape, scrawled words in different colored inks. There are two photographs—each from Azul’s second year. He’d forgotten about these. That time it snowed so much the students had a snowball fight in the courtyard. That time an alchemy accident (courtesy of Grim) led to Azul speaking in cat for the rest of the day.
In the center, a small blurb reads: My Azul is terrifyingly good at making snowballs within record time, just as he’s terrifyingly good at marketing them at all the right moments. My team was totally losing. Leave it to Azul to swoop in when he knows it’s advantageous… He’s intelligent and passionate. Even when mistakes occur, he works through them effortlessly. (Although it was nice having Catzul for a day!)
He rolls his eyes at that last bit.
The next page displays photos in much the same fashion. You’ve clearly put lots of effort and thought into each arrangement. Azul feels like he’s walking through a museum with every page. Like the first, the rest of the pages that follow include photographs of himself (some with others and some with you) and a short paragraph describing your observations.
His eyes are on the verge of a typhoon as he soaks in every sugared sentence.
My Azul is strong. My Azul is silly. My Azul has the best laugh. My Azul is great at bargaining. My Azul is awkward. My Azul is clumsy (in the best ways). My Azul is resourceful. My Azul makes the best study guides (thank you!!!!). My Azul is a hero. My Azul never gives up. My Azul is a talented mage. My Azul is…
All of these things he’s never heard anyone acknowledge before—have you always seen him in this way? Is this truly what he’s like through your eyes? He finds that hard to believe, and yet there he is on the page, winking at the camera or posing in an outfit from one of the many school trips he’s attended. You’ve added little comments and doodles in the margins and corners. Azul smiles as he reads them.
Noble Bell College sure was something! I’d like to visit again one day…
Vargas Camp was exhausting! I still can’t believe we survived.
Halloween! I want to experience it in the Coral Sea one day. But maybe just for one night. An endless Halloween is too much…
The ceremonial robes are very pretty. They’re so different from the uniforms in my world.
Happy Beans Day! Azul prepares all year for this. That level of commitment is impressive!
Azul reaches the end with watery eyes. He sniffles, so enveloped in a love he’s never felt from any friend before. You care. You truly, honestly care. It’s clear in each and every page—in the words you’ve written. You care about him.
The final page has a blank space the rough shape and size of a photograph. For some reason he understands what he’s meant to do. He slides the photograph you gave him all that time ago from his phone case and pastes it to the space. And then he reads what’s written below.
My Azul keeps all of these walls up in order to protect himself. He’s sensitive and self-conscious. He likes to uphold a perfect image at all times. He likes to keep his weaknesses hidden, his cards close. But then he’s also funny. He’s sincere and gentle. He’s sweet. He’s someone I admire from all sides, good and bad. Even when he’s scheming, even when he’s acting, he’s still Azul. My camera’s captured so many of his moments, which is very apparent now that you’ve made it to the end. But I’m happy to have documented these moments because they showcase everything that makes my Azul himself.
My Azul has never looked “positively dreadful” to my camera. Even on the days where he feels like nothing, my Azul is everything to me. I will always think so.
He’s crying. He can’t help it.
Azul sits there and he sobs.
He sobs until his throat is dry, until his eyes are blotchy and red. He sobs until he can’t anymore.
Holding the book close to his chest, he wonders how he ever managed to befriend someone like you.
An angel. That’s what you are.
An angelfish.
And he’s Azul. Your Azul.
iv. spring - but, baby, i’ll be there. yeah, baby, i’ll be there. it’s been a little hard. i’ve been a little tough. but maybe all along i’m afraid, i’m afraid, i’m afraid. i’m afraid, i’m afraid, i’m afraid.
The air is sweet with the scent of blossoming flowers, thick with pollen. Azul’s chest is light, swelling with excitement. A new chapter is about to begin. In just a few hours he’ll graduate along with the rest of his peers and then it’s off to start another story. For Azul, this is just a continuation of something already so prolific.
He strolls past The Great Seven, pausing briefly to admire the Sea Witch in all of her tentacular glory.
“With this weather, it’s almost difficult to imagine they called for rain.” Jade peers up at the sun, shielding its obtrusive rays with one hand.
“They’re always gettin’ it wrong,” Floyd says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “So annoying. I was hopin’ it’d rain and then they’d cancel.”
“Unlikely. There are always contingency plans put in place when it comes to an event as momentous as graduation.”
“Bleh. Lame. I wanna skip. I hate bein’ in those stuffy clothes, packed in close like a sardine.”
“If you’re absent, you won’t receive your diploma.”
“What a scam.”
Jade simply smiles. Ironic.
Azul turns around to look at them. “Four years… Gone in a blink. Will either of you miss it?”
“It was certainly enjoyable. I admit there are some aspects I’ll miss quite fiercely.”
“Guess it’ll be a bummer not seein’ everyone all the time. I’m gonna miss playing with Baby Seal and Shrimpy.”
“I’ll miss them, too.” Azul sighs. “(Name) especially…”
“You still haven’t told her?” Floyd raises a brow. “You’re gonna leave without sayin’ a word?”
“That does seem to be the plan,” Jade answers.
“I… I’ve thought it over.” He clears his throat. No time for waterworks. He needs to be in top shape if he’s to deliver the opening speech as Salutatorian. Riddle took first place, which wasn’t a shock to anyone. He always did say he’d make Valedictorian no matter what. Azul had been keen to fight him for it, even if it became clear he’d never surpass him. Second place is irksome, but it has its merits. Although he isn’t going to settle with just that! He’ll get first place one of these days. “We’re better off friends.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Is that enough?”
“Is what enough?”
“Her friendship.”
“It’ll have to be.” Azul’s gaze glazes over.
He’s run out of time, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe that was meant to be.
“Well, let’s not dwell on it any further!” He claps his hands and turns swiftly on his heel. “There’s still work to be done.”
Jade and Floyd exchange furtive glances. They know as well as he does that he’s lying.
But maybe that was also meant to be.
— — —
Crowley tasked you with snapping photos for NRC’s yearbook. “Because I am a paragon of magnanimity,” he said, “I am entrusting this very important task to you once more. Take lots of pictures! Don’t miss a single moment!”
You do just that, photographing the graduates as they wait in a room behind the stage, chattering eagerly amongst themselves. You raise your camera to document Azul when he stands at the podium to give his salutation speech. You do the same for Riddle when it’s his turn. The ceremony is grand, ballooning with emotion. You look on with a cheek-splitting smile, proud of every student who crosses the stage. It’s bittersweet. The friends you made when you were enrolled as a first year are now moving on in life.
Time flies. What a whirlwind year it’s been.
When it’s Azul’s turn and he goes down the line to shake the hands of his professors and Crowley, you wave at him from your place in the audience. He meets your eyes from where he stands, and he smiles.
Your camera catches that moment in perfect permanence.
By the end of it all, your face hurts from smiling, your throat sore from cheering, your hands raw from clapping. Grim grumbles at you to knock it off with the sun shower, your tears dampening his fur. You wipe your eyes and sniffle. “I’m happy for them. It’s a good day.”
He forces his head under your palm, allowing you to pet him and cry through it in peace. He doesn’t say anything. You don’t need him to.
While the graduates meet up with their family and friends, you make your rounds. Kalim introduces you to his parents and siblings—all thirty-something of them. You’re in a daze by the time introductions are finished, and Jamil leans over to whisper, “No need to commit everyone to memory.”
“Have you talked to Azul yet?” Kalim asks after everything has settled down.
You shake your head. “Why? What’s up?”
“Just wanted to ask. I know the Headmage wants you to take lots of pictures.”
“We shouldn’t keep you any longer than we already have,” Jamil adds with a curt nod.
You smile. “Congrats, both of you. Good luck.”
“We gotta keep in touch. Promise me you’ll call whenever you can. You’re always welcome to visit, too! Oh, I’ll go check with my parents now! I’m sure they’ll say yes!” Kalim bounds off in their direction.
“Just let me know well in advance. That way I can plan for proper accommodations,” Jamil says, following Kalim with sharp eyes.
“I’ll do that.” You turn to leave and then stop. “I hope you get your vacation one day, Jamil.”
He stares at you, mystified, before a gentle smile softens on his face. “One day,” he echoes. “I hope you’ll find your way home.”
“One day.”
The two of you share a final look before going your separate ways.
Surrounded in such an energetic environment, talking to and meeting families, you find yourself longing for your loved ones. So much time has passed. You wonder how they’re doing. Are they well? Are they worried?
“Aah, it’s Shrimpy!” Floyd crashes into you with so much force you nearly topple. He steadies you with a giggle. “Where’s Baby Seal?”
“Left to gorge on refreshments. Hey, since you’re here, can I get your picture?”
“Course you can.”
Detaching himself, he poses for you. You take a few photos, mirroring his good mood.
“Are your parents around?”
“Mhm!”
“Seriously? They came?”
“Course they did.”
“Did they take transformation potions?”
Floyd nods. “Pops does land business sometimes, so he’s used to it. Mama doesn’t leave home much. She’s real bad at walking on her feet.”
“Ah, got it.”
Floyd grins down at you. “You wanna meet ’em?”
“Maybe later… I’ve gotta keep taking photos.”
“I gotcha. Make sure to snap a few of Azul.”
“Right! Speaking of him, where is he? I’ve spoken to everyone but him.”
Floyd peers out across a sea of faces, scanning each one like a predator sizing up his next meal. “He’s avoidin’ ya.”
“What? Why?”
“Why don’tcha ask him when you see him? Bet he’ll have a fun answer for ya.”
You would, if only you could find him. As the afternoon wears on, you begin to lose hope. If he’s truly hiding from you, he’s doing a great job of it. After what feels like hours of walking in aimless circles, you take pause to consider the situation. If you were Azul and you wanted to hide away for a little while, where would you go?
To someplace familiar. To someplace comfortable. To someplace quiet.
He’s pacing in front of Ramshackle when you arrive. You open the gate and step through, taking each step one at a time. Once you’re within a close enough proximity, you make your presence known.
“Azul?”
He startles and whips around. As soon as he sees you, he lurches forward, intending to leave.
You block his path. “Hey, wait! What gives? I’ve been looking all over for you. Floyd told me you’re avoiding me.”
“Floyd doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“But I’m sure you do. So what’s up?”
“It’s…nothing. I merely wanted to tour campus one last time.”
“Oh. Why didn’t you say anything? I would’ve come with you!” You attempt to elbow him, but he side-steps you. “Uh, right…”
“Ah, sorry. I… Admittedly, there’s quite a lot on my mind.”
“I get it. Congrats, by the way. Your speech was really good.”
“I’m pleased you think so.”
This…isn’t Azul, you realize, a frown flickering on your face. At least not the Azul I usually see.
“I got to meet all of Kalim’s siblings.”
“Did you? All of them?”
“Every. Single. One. His family’s huge!”
An uncomfortable silence festers between the two of you. You glance at your camera and then at Azul.
“Can you believe that Crowley? He wanted me to take all of these pictures, but there were dozens of professionals who did it much better than me! What was even the point?”
“Terrible, isn’t it? A job as good as the one you do deserves proper payment.”
“Exactly! My services aren’t free.”
Azul smiles, a wistful gloss to his gaze. You can see the cogs turning behind his eyes—can see the calculation as it comes to fruition.
“You can cry. I won’t judge.”
“I’m not going to.”
“It’s fine. It’s normal, Azul.”
He inhales a deep breath, holds it for three seconds, and then releases. When he looks at you next, his expression is hard and riddled with subdued anxiety. A zephyr blows between you, rustling the leaves in the trees, raking through the grass, dragging wispy fingers through your clothes and hair. The quiet expands and stretches wide.
Azul opens his mouth, shuts it, and sighs. A forlorn resignation flits over his countenance.
“I—” he swallows hard and then it just bursts free, the admission he’s kept secret for so long— “I love you.”
Another breeze combs through the premises. Your gasp is swept away with it.
“I’ve loved you for two years. And I… I wanted to tell you so many times in the past, but I never could. I was scared and I ran away. I still am! The truth is that I’m afraid of losing you. I’m afraid of messing up in front of you and looking like a fool. I’m afraid of showing you the parts of myself I hate most. I’m even afraid of that phrase—of saying it because it terrifies me to think, in some distant world, it might be reciprocated. But I have to say it, and I want you to know. Even if you don’t feel the same, I have to tell you.”
You gape at him, utterly speechless. The longer you do so, the more flustered he becomes.
“Y-You’re free to think it’s gross or weird. I understand I’m not the most ideal candidate, but I…” He wrings his hands, exhaling shakily. “I think you’re everything. My whole world.”
There are so many things you want to say. So, so many. But they’re all jumbled, carried along like flowers floating down a stream in spring. You close the gap, taking his hands in yours, and you kiss him.
Azul startles, squeaking against your lips. It takes a minute for him to find his rhythm, but soon he’s wilting against you, his body relaxed. You taste saliva and salt—tears. When you pull back, he’s crying.
“I think you’re the most ideal candidate. I’ve always thought so.” You cradle his cheek in a warm hand.
A sob trembles through him. “I never thought—you’re just so… I couldn’t have imagined…”
“That I’d like you?”
“Yes!”
“Why?” “Because…”
“I’ve always liked you, Azul. I’d never lie about that. Your birthday gift—those are my honest opinions.”
“Every one of them?”
“Each and every one.”
He sniffles weakly, drying his eyes with the heel of his palm.
Instinctively, you reach for your camera. And then you hesitate. You’ve always stood behind the protective lens of your trusty Ghost Camera, assuming the role of photographer in order to remain in his orbit. But now you’d like to try putting the camera aside and documenting Azul’s moments with your own two eyes.
He loves me.
You just manage to shut the front door before you’re pulling him flush against you. He presses you up against the wall in the foyer, a knee slotting between your legs. You melt in mutual merriment, grabbing at every part of him. Your uniform blouse is ripped open in a hurry. You try to handle his graduation robes with caution, appreciating expensive embroidery, but vehemence gets the better of you. It’s a wild rush. Hot and panting, you’re shuddering in carnal delight, every nerve alight. When he presses up against you next, half-dressed and hazy with an addictive adoration, you can feel the result of your exploratory touches straining for release.
“Upstairs,” you mumble against his mouth, sweating out of your skin.
You fall into bed as one, tangled around each other. Azul trails kisses up the expanse of your stomach, working you open on skillful fingers. You shiver beneath him, your heart pounding in your ribs.
“I love you.” A kiss to your belly.
“I love you.” A kiss to the valley of your breasts.
“I love you.” A kiss to your lips.
You love him just as intensely. 
He drags his fingers out next, admiring the slick coating them like it’s a valuable substance. You giggle, dizzy with delirium.
“Can I call you mine?”
You run your hands up and down his arms. “I’d like that.”
“Your boyfriend,” he murmurs, astonished. “I’m your boyfriend…”
“Mhm…” You sit up in bed and climb into his lap. Slowly, inch by inch, you lower yourself. He sucks in a breath through grit teeth. “And I’m—mmh—I’m your girlfriend.”
Azul whines into your mouth. His arms wrap around you to keep you firmly pinned to his body, and he bucks his hips up to meet you the rest of the way. Filled in such a way, connected so intimately, you breathe a satisfied sigh. You dig your nails into his shoulders. Every muscle slackens. It’s bliss, pure and perfect. The both of you mold to one another like sea meeting shore.
You grind down, chasing a mounting climax. “You’re the best—perfect. So perfect. Oh, I love you, Azul. I love you so much. I’ve always wanted to say it.”
He presses his forehead to yours. “You have no idea how fervently I’ve yearned for this—for you.”
You can’t possibly begin to imagine, but you can definitely relate. Weeks of silent pining, of hoping something might happen and you’d be able to confess without fear. Those days are behind you. Now you can know love in his arms and it isn’t so uncertain.
You lose yourselves in the sensations of sweet, soulful sex. He’s gentle like a spring breeze, dedicated like a devotee at your altar. You’re much the same, your moans just as plentiful. Just as loud. You’re wrapped in wonder when you look into his eyes and find the same amount of love reflected back.
I’m so happy I met you.
When he cums, he digs his fingers into your hips to drag you down and bury himself deeper inside. You unravel shortly after, your orgasm coaxed out by a few attentive massages to your clit. Your bodies, sticky and sweaty, stay connected even after you’ve come down from the clouds.
“Had I known, I would’ve said something sooner.” After catching his breath, Azul rests his head in the crook of your neck. “I regret it.”
“I don’t. Things happen when they happen.” You run your fingers through the tangled, silvery strands of his hair. It’s soft just like him. He leans into your touch and hums appreciatively. “I’m glad it happened when it did.”
“I’m glad I could say it. It would’ve eaten me alive if I’d left without telling you.”
“And are you still afraid?”
Azul places his hand over yours. “No, not anymore. The world ahead looks much clearer now.”
“Am I in it?”
He laughs. “More than that.”
“Oh?”
“You are my world.”
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brainlessrot · 2 years ago
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Penguin Pebbling
Involves collecting and giving small objects, like pebbles, as gifts to people you care about.
because i do penguin pebbling very often and i wanted to indulge myself a lil bit 🤭
also sorry for disapearing for like... 5 months!!! requests are now open again <3
Characters ;; All of the students (grim included)
Contents ;; could be seen as either platonic or romantic (except ortho's and grim's!), GN!reader, no beta read‼️around 1200 words total, 50~ words per character
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Riddle ;; i think he would see it as weird and although he would keep it he doesn't think it to be sentimental, for him its just some random rock you randomly gave him, may give you some trinkets (no rocks :( ) as payback (prolly roses or rose themed stuff)
Trey ;; he wouldn't understand why you chose to give him a... rock? probably put it in some drawer in his room and forgot about it unless you explain why
Cater ;; doesn't understand but will keep the rock in his bedside table, may understand that its a sentimental gift from you and if its pretty enough he will post a pic of it!!!
Ace ;; throws it away. Nah but hes similar to trey, confused abt why would you give him?? a rock you found somewhere on the floor?? would prolly make fun of you if you told him why (but the way his face lowkey matches his hair is proof that hes gettin flustered)
Deuce ;; HE GETS YOU!!! will absolubtely cherish the lil rock AND give you some in return, you two may start a rock gifting competition to see which one of you gives the prettiest one to the other
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Leona ;; "...what is this". will throw it away (this time fr) unless you specifically tell him its a sentimental gift, then he will throw it in a drawer and forgets abt it (man does NOT care abt a rock sorry :/) but if you are especially close to him and the rock is pretty he may send it back to his brother for it to be made into some jewelry... but DO NOT mention it if he wears it
Ruggie ;; if its pretty enough he will display it in his room, if not, he still puts it carefully in a box with other trinkets, may also find you one for yourself (my man gets it!!) and may even give you some dandelions he was saving for a quick snack if he finds you while out (doing Leona's work) walking
Jack ;; super confused but lowkey touched, will put it with his (many) cactai, if you do it multiple times, he will start giving you some he found on a run that he thought you would like
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Azul ;; if he likes you hes giggling and kicking his feet, will put it in his desk at the VIP room, no matter if its just a broken brick or a cute crystal you found, the tweels make fun of him for this
Jade ;; probably has gifted you some by himself that he found on his lil mountain treks, may put whatever you give him in one of his terrariums as decor
Floyd ;; loves it a normal (crazy) amount, cherishes the rock SO much, probably gives it a small hat and face and brings it around the school, will loose it and demand you find another one for him... he might throw it at you to get your attention
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Kalim ;; definition of !!!!YIPPIEEE!!! puts it on his bedside table and stares at it while giggling before going to sleep, beware, you will find boxes of gemstones (not the cheap ones!!!) in front of your room at any moment now
Jamil ;; may try to hide it but he finds it cute, covers his face before accepting the rock, leaves it on his desk for when he goes back to his room to give him a small boost in mood, doesn't reciprocate the rock giving but isn't against receiving more from you
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Vil ;; what. what the hell is this. unless its throughly clean and has some interesting colors/design/it's pretty he will throw it away woops, doesn't understand the appeal but if youre sad he threw it away hell ask you for "the prettiest rock for him, the prettiest person you've seen"
Rook ;; now youre inexplicably finding rocks EVERYWHERE, your pillow is lumpy? rock! you wanted cereals for breakfast? filled with rocks! went to put on your socks? why is there a rock?! he may even throw them at you from afar!! (believe him he didn't actually think it through he just wanted to surprise you)
Epel ;; kinda gets you!! may not reciprocate the rock giving at first (he prefers personally carving you some apples as a gift) but will if you explain to him the sentimentality behind it!! will save any rock you give him and maybe even send one back to his meemaw if he deems it cool enough
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Idia ;; Doesn't really?? get it at first?? but when he was (forced to be) outside he saw a cool rock on the sidewalk and went "oh hey they would like this one!... Oh damn." a light bulb went off of his head at that moment, he wont really give you any rock bc he simply doesn't go outside, but will put the rocks you give him between his idol merch and figurines
Ortho ;; the epitome of just there for the vibes, doesn't understand jackshit of why youre doing it but if youre happy he's happy!! will test the rocks to see what compound or kind they are and tell you funfacts about them
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Malleus ;; OH LORDDDDD hes kneeling down and holding his chest the moment you open up your hand and present him with the rock, A GIFT??? FOR HIM?? FROM YOUUU???? hes a very shinnies boy so be prepared to find anything gold anywhere in your dorm/room, he actually gets you from the start and is so happy, like straight up giddy, cackling in his room as he makes a small altar for the rock (half joking)
Lillia ;; also very giggly and understands the act of gifting rocks as a show of friendship (or more) will also leave small trinkets on your way (some of them are hundreds of years old... be careful)
Silver ;; hes used to small animals also giving him offerings and trinkets, so he understands the sentimentality behind the little rock, will also give you some shinny stone he found while resting in the forest, look it has the shape of a chipmunk!!
Sebek ;; he doesn't understand, he doesn't care. nah but seriously he really doesn't get why even if you explain it to him, no "it reminded me of you", "i though you would like it", "its pretty tho!!"s will make him understand, but please do ignore how close he set it to his Malleus' altar
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Grim ;; acts like he doesn't want it and might even throw it away in your face, but the moment you turn around hes running back and searching desperately for it, he wont ask for any but if you give him more he aint complaining, hes like the
+"do you like it?
-"no"
+"then ill take it"
-"BACK OFF, NO WAY!"
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curvykittyyssmutfics · 5 days ago
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Aot S4: Deleted Scene
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A/N: Deleted scene of y/n finally getting what she wants. Trust me, it really happened. I was there! 🤭😂
kruger!Eren truly believes he's a chameleon when undergoing his secret mission into Marley. Unaware of a sneaky lil thing sticking to the shadows, stalking him around Liberio unnoticed, your gaze narrowed, attentive to every inch of your attractive target. Licking your bare lips and lewdly studying his tall toned build: long dark silky tresses, sharp intense green eyes, an unamused pout on his full lips. Yeah, that's your Eren Jaeger all right. "Just dont know how fuckin fine you are, huh? Well, I'm bout to show you. heh. I'm comin for you, babe." You get your chance to make a move at the hospital late into the night, long after his fatigued form drifts into a deep peaceful dreamless state, oblivious to the cute curvy toffee-skinned spy keeping tabs on him since his arrival. "Rennieeee.. Ready to gimme that dick, baby? Hope so. Cause if not.. I'm gonna take it anyway, handsome." You're too fuckin giddy, tummy doing somersaults when you pull back the thin cover to see he's shirtless, only in a loose pair of white long-johns, soft chubby cock bulging the center. "So you're a show-er, not a grower, huh?" His slow deep breaths, and quiet rustle of clothing the only sound in the room as you swiftly undress and mount him. "Thought you could leave home without me baby? Come risk your life without a goodbye, no note.. Nothin. Not even a tiny taste of this fat cock." You know if he awoke at this moment you'd be a sight for sore eyes: palming your full round tits, occasionally tweaking your hard nips, head tossed back, features absolutely blissed out as you slowly grind his swelling girth.
kruger!Eren's low and throaty groans join the gentle creak of the bed when you really roll your hips, plump drooling pussy folds smooshing against his length. You're stickiness turns his bottoms transparent, frosting his swelling dick in your cream. "H-hooh, mmnh- ah,ah,ah.. Ohhh." It makes you smile when you see his big hands repeatedly curl open and close against the shabby sheets. "Oh? So you do like gettin ya dick wet? hmph. Thas real funny 'Mr. Kruger'. Fuckin hilarious considering how long I've been chasing your virgin ass around Paradis. You're such a damn tease, baby." You whine. Bending suddenly, fingers abandoning ebony titties, grippin his jaw as you suck deep angry marks into his pale throat. Moaning like a hussy while pecking a trail to his soft lips, suckin his bottom lip into your mouth before kissing him hungrily; rocking against the thick cock encased between your glossy lips, both you and Eren pulsing for more. "Ahh, wh-what.. nngh, aaagh- sooo.. Mnnh.." He babbles brokenly in his sleep, air huffing from his parted mouth. Tan muscles ticking, limbs twitching. Strong hips unconsciously humping back at you, rosy lips parting as his eyes move restlessly under his lids. "I know we talked about this, but I can't wait anymore. You been taunting my poor pussy for too long. She needs, you Ren. Time to give her what she wants." Words tapering of into the lewdest wanton moan.
kruger!Eren harshly bucks into your needy core, now fisting the sheets, seemingly sharing your sentiment. You don't wait a second longer, leaning another smothering kiss while unsheathing his cock, all shiny with your combined juices. "Poor Rennie.. Gonna run away this time? Or turn into a big bad titan so you can stop me?" You giggle, bending to whisper in his ear. "No, not gonna let you. Think I rather sit on this pretty dick. Make you fill me up over and over till you buss inside, ahfuck- oh, Ereeeen!" You moan. Head tossin back, impaling yourself on his leaky flushed tip, wide hooked mushroom head digging into your hot soft gummy insides. "Fuck, baby, you're opening me up so much- ah, ah, ah!" You shallowly bounce on the first few inches of the thickest meat you eva took, pussy givin in right away, almost sucking him inside, clamping so tight your victim chokes on his spit, eyes slitting open dramatically. "Theee fuuuck?!" Eren's chest heaves and you almost get him in halfway, the fierce pleasurable throb stunning his thought process. He stutters, words a jumbled mess. "I-I.. ngnh.. sooo wet.." Now, slurring. Your good ass pussy fogs his brain so much, unfocused jade irises dart around the room aimlessly, unseeing as saliva spills down his chin, before his vacant stare finally lands on you. "Hi Ren." Sweet greeting ringing in his ears so soothingly his dick jerks to your voice, oozing precum into your depths. "Fuh.. Y/nnn. Fuck are you doin to meee.."
kruger!Eren is slowy spiraling, body temp so damn overheated and he can't catch his breath but doesn't know why. Only knows theres something so utterly soft but scorching hot and snug trying to eat up his dick. Its so tight, feels so good tears blur his vision a second after he makes out your beautiful face above him. "Baby, you c-cant be here. Why did you- mmn, shit, suckin me in.. sofuckingood.. W-wait! Stop, stop it, you can't.. Mmn, don't- you promised y/n.. nnggh.." Eren Goin limp, head drooping; blinks his teary sight clear jutst in time to witness your greedy lil hole swallow him all. "FUCK!" He nuts violently soon as your pelvis meets his. Fingers shredding the covers, cumming inside pussy for the first time in his life, flushed slit projectile vomiting nut at your fertile womb. "Yes, baby, yeeees. Gimme that shit, thas my nut- all mine! ohfuck.. Ah! ohhhfuuuck, been waiting so damn long.. Bussin so much for baby, thank you.. Nnggh, so much Rennie, sooo. soooo. much. Cum!" You punctuate each frantic word with crude harsh bounces, thick thighs burning. But you couldn't pay for a fuck at the moment. Deliriously pumping your hips to his, twisting in small grinds, needy slobbering coochie milking him for every drop as you nip and suck his puffy bottom lip.
kruger!Eren plans for domination melt from his brain and spill from his ears, all cause ya fat cunt and crude words mush all coherent thoughts beyond crammin ya coochie with another gooey creampie. "Fuck, why's it so tight inside- noooo, you gotta stop. I'll cum again, i swear im gonna fuckin pump you full. Ohshit, can't believe you're makin me breed you.. D-dont do this. Make her lemme go, y/nnnn." Eren's outta his mind, digging his fingers outta the thin blanket to claw at your waist, hips clashing yours as he tries to lift you up. "Nope. Said this was my dick, yeah? Then gimme my pretty babies, handsome." He's so weak for your pussy, no match for you while still healing and you happily take advantage of the fact. Smiling like the cheshire cat when he snatches his body into the sitting position trying to create space between y'all, leaning against the sweat laced pillows, his overwhelmed lower half either attempting to back away from your ravenous pussy or buck you off of him. "Y/nnnn.." Eren groans. "Quit fuckin me! Feels t-too good. Never had.. oouuee.. Gotta stop, pleaase. Ahh.. Don't make me baby, just a small break please, y/n, pleeeease." Large palms pushing at your chest and tummy but you quickly lock your arms around his neck and cage him in a secure embrace. "No can do, baby. Did this to yourself. Next time.. Don't withhold my dick. Or do.. And suffer the consequences." Inhaling his protests into your demanding mouth, chasing after his lips and your own orgasm now that you've stolen his. Hell, he so fucking pussy drunk, begging you to stop even as he fucks you back, tryin to make you hurry up and fuckin cum. Not knowing you may not even stop then.
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kennytheworkingclasshero · 2 months ago
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Alongside Stan, we've also seen Kenny experience addiction issues. Most notably in the episode Major Boobage, where he spends the majority of the time favouring the escapism that cat pee offers him from his day to day life. Kenny is often spending his time taking care of his sister, dealing with his parents' own inebriation and their tendencies towards domestic abuse, as well as having to go through painful deaths over and over again. The relief and happiness he feels when he is able to go into another world, where he is experiencing the things that he loves (good looking women, obviously), is enough to make him do it again and again (despite how worried his friends are).
This is similar to Stan, as seen in Ass Burgers when he has to come to terms with his parents divorce, as well as developing depression and a sense of cynicism in the world. He takes to alcohol very easily in order to numb the pain and be able to make it through his day.
Kenny and Stan are both victims of addiction being passed down genetically; Kenny with his parents being addicts and Stan with his father and grandfather being addicts. However, I do think their reactions to addiction is very different, and it all comes down to the environment in which they were raised.
For Kenny, he grew up with two parents who were very clearly addicts. There was no hiding it, they were always drunk or high and their kids knew that. Kenny as Mysterion even asked them to stop getting high as frequently as they do, which is seen in the episode Mysterion Rises when Carol says they did what he asked and they "stopped gettin' high every night." Kenny has deep rooted trauma which stems from his parents addiction and what happens because of it, like neglect and domestic violence. That is why when Gerald is giving his speech at the end of Major Boobage and he says "Problem is, the more you go into that world, the more you need to go. Until you start blowing off all the real people who care about you." Kenny resonates with this, looking down guiltily and saying to himself "Yeah, I guess so."
Him and his siblings experience this everyday and that has real material effects on their lives. This is seen in The Poor Kid when the McCormick siblings are taken into foster care because of their parents neglect. Karen asks why her mom and dad went to jail and Kenny replies with sentiments that are similar to Geralds speech, of them "blowing off" the people that care for them in real life; "Sometimes, people do stupid things. Sometimes they don't realize what should have come first. Until it's too late."
He doesn't want to become like his parents, he wants to put his family (and more specifically, his little sister) first. Because she's all he's got, because he has taken on the role of her caregiver due to his parents struggle with addiction. If he gives into his own 'needs', who will be there for her? That is why he restrains himself and that is why the way he has been brought up, despite being surrounded by addicts from a young age, has made him want to distance himself from substances.
This is not to say that Stan's upbringing didn't have an effect on his addiction, but the Marshes are able to put on the front of a more put together family due to their economic status, in a way the McCormick's simply cannot. They are middle class, Randy has a good job, they live on the 'good' side of town. Randy is a terrible father and an idiot, who doesn't put much effort into his family members lives, but he is a functioning alcoholic. It is easier to hide and therefore, Stan's trauma is not as clearly linked to substances and addiction as Kenny's is. Stan also does not hold much responsibility for other family members in the way that Kenny does and because of this, it is easier for him to fall into his addiction in the way Kenny isn't. Stan isn't even particularly introduced to alcohol by his father, but rather a group of cynics.
However, this does not absolve Randy from his responsibility for his son's addiction or trauma. It still stems from Randy, but it also functions differently from Kenny's.
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pookalicious-hq · 1 month ago
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blue velvet... jinx x reader
| 1.3. find me. | prev | next | masterlist
synopsis: two girls trapped within a world full of hate would do anything for each other. too bad they're both crazy. tags/tws: mentions of mental health illnesses, mention of suicide, blood and gore, mc has split personalities, violence word count: 4.8k
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six years ago - age 15 …
It was an intrusion, the weightless breath spreading through your polluted lungs like an unwelcome guest—too pure, too sharp to belong in a body accustomed to decay. Breathing it in was instinctual, but it felt like a crime, as though you were stealing their air—their pure, crisp air that had been theirs to enjoy every second of their lives.
The streets were spotless compared to Zaun, lined with polished stone and framed by buildings that, while modest by Piltover's standards, gleamed with care and affluence. The faint hum of machinery filled the air, not the grinding, screeching chaos of Zaun’s factories but a calm, rhythmic thrum that hinted at efficiency and progress. Even the light felt different here—clear and golden, untouched by the murky haze of shimmer-fueled smoke that stained the skies below.
The weight of your large cloak was a constant reminder of the disguise you both wore to avoid attention. It hung heavy around your shoulders, its fabric thick enough to hide your wings, but it was a constant reminder of what you couldn’t reveal—what you couldn’t be in this place. The scent of the clean air felt almost like an accusation against your every breath, too flawless for someone like you.
Jinx sniffed theatrically, tilting her head back as if savouring the difference. “Betcha we could bottle this stuff up. Maybe even make it ourselves or somethin’—”
[“We breathe in what the plants breathe out,” came the soft, echoing voice of someone who had once mattered to you—someone important. “They’re yours to protect, child.”
Grey eyes, warm yet serious, locked onto yours, the deep wisdom in them cutting through time and space. The towering giants around you—the trees—groaned softly in the wind, their presence ancient and enduring, as if the very breeze carried with it an age-old greeting, a promise of life.]
“—and sell it for hundreds!”
You blinked, her voice snapping you back to the present, and your eyes found hers, an old thought settling in your chest. “It’s the trees, Jay... all the plants up here.”
Jinx raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a playful grin. “The trees, huh? Fancy trees makin’ fancy air for these rich folks. Real nice of ‘em.” She shrugged and bounced on her heels, the sharp contrast of her energy and the stillness of the city making her seem even more out of place. “Think we could swipe a few and set up our own little tree factory? Might be fun.”
The memory of the voice from the past clung to you, heavy, suffocating. It felt like a lifetime ago, but the words never left. “Never take them for granted.”
You pressed your lips together, stepping forward with an unsteady breath. The trees, the plants—they were a gift, but the people of Piltover had no idea what it meant to need them. To breathe without poison in the air. To survive.
Jinx noticed the shift in your expression, her playful tone turning sharper. “Hey, what’s up?” She nudged you, catching the distant look in your eyes. “What, you gettin’ all sentimental on me now, Birdie?”
A small frown found its place on your features, the thought of Piltover's so-called prosperity making a bitter taste rise in your throat. The air here felt too clean, almost sharp against the remnants of the smog that clung to your lungs from years spent in Zaun. “They don’t even know what they have,” you hummed, your voice thick with confusion. The words came out colder than you intended, laced with something darker—something sharp, like the sudden burn of a raw wound.
Jinx frowned, her sharp eyes catching the change in you but not probing too deeply. She gave you a side glance before turning back to the street ahead. Her voice was lighter, teasing. “C’mon, let’s get to work. We’re not here to admire the trees, right?”
Before you could respond, Jinx dropped to a crouch, her fingers brushing against the ground as she plucked a small flower, the only violet among a primrose patch. Its petals were a delicate purple, soft as silk, the colour so vivid it seemed to hum with life. With a sly smile tugging at her lips, she tucked it behind your ear, the coolness of the flower sending a brief shiver down your neck.
The flower’s chill lingered on your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of her breath against your cheek as she stepped back, eyeing you as if she’d just won some silent victory. “Perfect,” she said with a grin, her voice playful and rich with satisfaction. “You look all fancy now, Birdie.”
Before you could protest, she spun on her heel and darted off, her footsteps a quick staccato against the cobblestones, the sound light and almost musical. Her laughter cut through the air like the tinkling of distant bells, a sound so pure and untainted it almost made you forget about the city around you.
“Hey!” You scowled, but it was too late—she was already a few paces ahead, her figure melting into the flow of the crowd. Your pulse quickened, a rush of adrenaline pushing through your veins. Your feet hit the pavement, the rough stones biting at the soles of your boots as you surged forward, chasing after her.
“Jay, slow down!”
But she only giggled louder, a mischievous ring to the sound, her voice slipping through the throngs of people with that impossible speed of hers. You gritted your teeth, the clamour of voices and the sharp scent of perfume filling your senses as you wove through the crowd, pushing yourself harder, faster.
The violet, still perched behind your ear, seemed to pulse with every step you took, the faint scent of its petals mingling with the crisp, clean air. For a brief moment, as you chased her, it was as if the world paused—everything except you and Jinx. The chase felt alive, a raw, frantic pulse of energy that seemed to tether you to something you could barely grasp.
In that fleeting second, the weight of Piltover's wealth, the bitter air, and the city’s polished facade faded just enough for you to remember what was real. The strange warmth in your chest as you ran—that was real. And for a moment, it was enough to make everything else seem distant, irrelevant.
The chase was worth it.
Up until the world’s cruel reminder of everything you once had came crashing down harder.
You pushed yourself harder to catch up with Jinx, but something pulled at you—an odd, gnawing sensation crawling up your spine. The polished stone beneath your feet seemed to shimmer too brightly, the golden light from the street lamps cutting through the twilight like sharp edges. It reminded you of things you had long since locked away, memories you’d buried deep in the dark corners of your mind.
The clean, fresh air here, so different from the murky fumes of Zaun, should’ve felt like a relief, but instead, it felt almost suffocating. It brought with it flashes of sterile white walls, the cold bite of glass pressed too tightly against your skin. The sharp clink of metal. Hands that weren’t kind.
You felt the corners of your lips twitch into a smile, but it was empty, distant. It didn’t quite reach your eyes.
"Feels so empty, doesn’t it?" You said almost peacefully, voice soft enough to be drowned out by the steady hum of conversation and distant street vendors calling out to passersby.
Jinx glanced back, a brow raised at you. "Why’d’ya have that cute-scary-pretty smile on, Birdie?"
You sighed, the sound dreamlike but almost hollow. "Ugh, topsiders' got it all," you said, keeping your voice light but with a hint of resentment simmering underneath. "The air, the trees, the people. They think it’s all just there for them like they deserve it. But what do they really know about it?” You giggled, the sound alone bringing a smile to Jinx’s features,  “What do they know about breathing without poison in the air, or surviving in a world that doesn’t care if you live or die?"
Jinx stopped and turned to face you, her playful grin faltering slightly as she read the shift in your tone. She tilted her head, not pushing but curious. "What’s up? You getting all deep on me, Birdie?"
You shrugged, still smirking, but your gaze turned darker, more focused. "What’s there to be scared of?" you said, the words coming out smooth, as though you were stating a simple fact. "They can’t break what’s already broken."
Your laugh followed, soft and light, cutting through the steady chatter and clinking of nearby street vendors setting up for the night. The laughter was brief, sharp—a flash of something unsettling.
The buzz of the street lamps overhead shifted the familiar hum faltering, followed by a sharp crackling sound. Without warning, every lamp along the block sputtered, their light flickering like a dying breath, and the air around you seemed to pulse with a strange, static energy. You felt it before you saw it—the telltale jolt of power rippling through the air, like a spark on the edge of something dangerous.
The lights buzzed and flickered again, a chorus of crackling static that grew louder, more erratic, until a loud crack sounded.
One lamp shattered, its glass scattering onto the street below with a deafening pop. In quick succession, the others followed suit—a soft crackle left behind until the entire block was plunged into darkness. The light from the nearby windows spilled out onto the cobblestones, casting eerie, shifting shadows across the street, but the lamps were gone, their fragile bulbs shattered by some invisible force.
A few pedestrians screamed, scrambling to avoid the broken glass, while others froze in place, uncertain of what just happened. A nearby vendor let out a nervous laugh, trying to calm the frightened crowd, but the air was thick with tension.
Jinx’s eyes flickered from the broken lamps to you, her grin widening as she took in the chaos. "Well, guess we just have that effect on the city, huh?" she teased, her voice light with amusement.
You didn’t respond immediately. Instead, you studied the shattered glass scattered on the ground, the last remnants of the once-glowing lamps gleaming eerily in the dim light. The electric hum of the atmosphere still lingered, crackling around you like the residue of a storm.
With a dark, knowing smirk curling at the edges of your lips, you turned to Jinx. "Guess so. Piltover’s perfect little world just... cracks."
For a moment, the usual hum of the city—the noise, the voices, the movement—faded into a distant background. It was just you and Jinx in the silence like the world had stopped to take a breath. But then, as quickly as it had all gone quiet, the sounds of the street came rushing back. People were talking again, rushing away from the mess, and the vendors were scrambling to get their goods undercover.
And yet, in that moment, the tension in the air still lingered, like everything around you had just shifted. You and Jinx shared a glance, and then, without a word, you both broke into laughter—wild, unrestrained, and full of that familiar, dangerous joy.
The city continued to pulse with life, the laughter ringing out through the noise, blending with the chaos that followed. But for just a moment, in the midst of it all, you felt lighter. Almost like you were breathing again.
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present - age 21
"Stay still," you chirped, your tone light and sweet, as if offering a friendly suggestion rather than holding a man captive with a knife at his throat. Your knees dug into his ribs, the coarse fabric of his uniform scraping against your skin. The blade in your hand hovered mere millimetres above his clammy neck, sparks of electricity dancing along the edge like restless fireflies. Each flicker sent faint, ghostly reflections darting across his wide, terrified eyes.
The guard beneath you trembled, his breath hitching with every erratic rise and fall of his chest. He smelled faintly of sweat and grease, his fear mixing with the sharper metallic tang of blood from a small cut on his cheek. His hands twitched at his sides, his fingers curling into fists before loosening again as if trying to will himself into stillness.
"Don’t squirm," you added, your voice soft but teasing, like you were sharing a private joke. "It’d be such a shame if my hand slipped. So messy. Though, your uniform would pair nicely with a deep red..."
The hum of electricity grew louder, its faint, crackling buzz cutting through the heavy stillness of the warehouse. Overhead, a flickering bulb swung gently on its chain, casting jittery light and warped shadows across the walls. Dust motes swirled in the air, catching the sporadic gleam of your blade. The faint scent of ozone tinged the space, sharp and electric, mingling with the musty aroma of rotting wood, old crates, and spilled oil pooling in uneven puddles on the floor.
“Birdie!” Jinx’s voice rang out suddenly, sing-song and teasing, shattering the tense quiet. She leaned lazily against a stack of precariously balanced boxes, her rocket launcher resting casually against her shoulder. The dull green glow of her goggles glinted in the dim light as her wild grin widened. "You flirtin’ again? C’mon, you’re makin’ me jealous."
You giggled, glancing back at her over your shoulder, your cheeky grin as sharp as the blade in your hand. "Jealous? Bluejay, you know you’re my favourite."
Jinx snorted, spinning her zapper in her hand like a toy. The movement sent a faint whine through the air, a sound like a dying firework. "Good, now hurry it up! We don’t have all night."
You returned your attention to the guard, his pale face glistening with a sheen of cold sweat. His pupils darted nervously between your crackling blade and the manic girl in the corner. The sour stench of his fear was almost tangible.
"You heard her," you said brightly, your smile unwavering, even as the electricity crackled with menacing energy. "So, here’s the deal—stay quiet, stay still, and I won’t have to test how conductive you are. Sound good?"
He nodded frantically, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard, a visible tremor rippling through his body.
"Good boy," you cooed, your voice dripping with mock affection as you tapped his cheek lightly, the gesture more unnerving than comforting. When you stood, the blade still sparking faintly in your hand, he wasted no time scrambling away. His boots scuffed loudly against the concrete, the sharp sound echoing in the cavernous space as he disappeared into the shadows.
Jinx sidled up to you, her grin a crooked mirror of your own. “You’re way too nice, y’know that?”
You tilted your head, shrugging with an exaggerated pout, your tone playful. “What can I say? I’m a people person.”
Her laughter rang out, sharp and unhinged, ricocheting off the warehouse's cold metal walls. The sound seemed to echo in your chest, mingling with the electric hum that still crackled faintly at your fingertips. Together, you turned toward the rows of crates stacked like soldiers in rigid formation, their weathered surfaces bearing the scars of countless journeys. Each crate seemed to whisper promises of power and chaos, daring you to uncover their secrets.
“Just gotta find the blue stuff, right?” you asked, stretching your arms lazily, the faint shimmer of your wings catching the flickering light as you unfurled them. The motion sent a harmless ruffle through the air—harmless until the feathery edge of your wing smacked Jinx square in the head.
“Hey!” she squawked, rubbing her temple with a mock glare. “Watch your chicken wings!”
You stifled a giggle, glancing at her sheepishly. “Thought you said you loved them, Jay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” she grumbled, though her grin betrayed her annoyance. “How could I not?” She flicked her fingers, a few sparks crackling into the air.
As the two of you turned, a banner hung on the far wall caught your eye—bright, regal, and emblazoned with the unmistakable insignia of the Kiramman family. The same gold crest that once adorned the halls of the Piltover mansion where you had spent so many days locked away, trembling in fear under the watchful eyes of their cruel experiments. The familiar scent of polished wood and sterile, bitter air flooded your senses in an instant, the haunting weight of it pulling at your chest like an old wound that had never quite healed.
You froze for a moment, eyes locked on the banner, your breath catching in your throat. 
“Birdie?” Jinx’s voice cut through the haze of your memories, her brow furrowed. “You good?”
Your hands twitched involuntarily, a sharp jolt of electricity crackling from your fingertips before you reined it back in with a forced calm. You swallowed hard, shaking your head, and forced a smile.
“Yeah, just... hate these fucking topsiders,” you said, the words feeling thin, like a mask you had to put on to cover the shadows beneath. "Nothing more nothing less."
Jinx didn’t push, though she gave you a long look, her playful energy dampening just for a moment. She turned back to the task at hand with a sigh. "You and me both."
You nodded, though your eyes lingered on the banner for a second longer. You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening, the memory of those days—the dark, cold rooms, the smell of iron and sterilization—swarming back. You’d never forgotten who had bought you, who had taken you from Ixtal and twisted you into something they could control. But this was different. You weren’t powerless anymore. You had your revenge waiting.
“Let’s find the blue stuff,” you echoed, voice steady as you forced yourself forward.
The crates loomed ahead, stacked high and heavy, filled with Piltover’s precious tech and the hextech secrets you were here to claim. The whole warehouse was suffused with the dusty, metallic scent of industry, but there was something different about the air today. It felt heavier, charged with anticipation. And maybe a little darker than usual, especially now that you were back on familiar ground.
Jinx gave a slow, deliberate nod. “Right. And we’ll make sure it’s nice and... safe for our use.”
She flashed that gleam in her eye, the one that always meant a mess was coming. You couldn’t help but smile back, your mind momentarily distracted from the past as you focused on what lay ahead. It wasn’t just the blue tech anymore; it was the chance to prove you could be more than just a weapon.
The warehouse stretched out before you, the low hum of electricity growing louder with each step, as if the very walls were alive, ready to react to whatever you brought with you. You ran a hand along the rough edge of a crate, the splintered wood prickling your fingertips, before Jinx’s voice broke through the silence.
“Alright, Birdie, new stakes,” she announced, spinning her zapper in one hand. “Whoever finds it first gets the fluffy blanket tonight.”
You stopped in your tracks, tilting your head to the side in a silent question. “ The fluffy blanket?”
“Yeah,” she said, her grin widening. “Y’know the one. The soft, cozy, ‘wrap-yourself-like-a-burrito’ blanket. The one you always steal from me.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound light and genuine. “You mean the one you keep kicking me for in your sleep?”
“Details,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Point is, it’s mine if I win. Got it?”
You shrugged with a giggle, feigning indifference. “Fine by me. But don’t cry when I’m the one burrito-wrapped tonight.”
Jinx snorted, bounding ahead to a row of crates with her usual reckless energy. “Whatever you say, Dove.”
You followed at a slower pace, your wings brushing against the edges of the narrow aisles. Each crate you passed felt heavier, their secrets pressing against your mind like a whisper you couldn’t quite catch. You knelt by a smaller one, prying it open with a grunt. Inside, rows of gears and wires glinted under the dim light—fascinating, but not what you were looking for.
From the other side of the warehouse, you heard Jinx’s frustrated groan. “Ugh, more boring junk. Where’s the good stuff?”
You smirked, moving to the next crate. This one was different—smaller, heavier, with strange markings etched into the wood. As you cracked it open, a faint, pulsing glow spilled out, bathing your face in soft blue light.
Your breath caught in your throat as the hexstone came into view, nestled within layers of protective fabric. The gem pulsed faintly, its energy radiating out in waves that seemed to seep into your skin.
“Hey, Jay,” you called out, your voice quieter than you intended.
“Nooo, did you find it?” Jinx’s voice echoed from across the room, followed by the sound of her hurried footsteps.
But you barely heard her. The hexstone’s glow had grown brighter, more insistent, and the faint hum in the air had risen to a sharp, almost deafening pitch. Your wings twitched involuntarily, the metal plates inside vibrating in rhythm with the stone.
“Birdie?” Jinx’s voice was closer now, tinged with confusion. “What’s wrong?”
You tried to answer, but the words stuck in your throat. The gem pulsed again, and the edges of the world began to blur—not in an unsettling way, but with a dreamlike softness, as though reality itself was exhaling.
Warmth enveloped you, spreading from your fingertips to your chest like the first rays of dawn filtering through a thick canopy of trees. It wasn’t just a sensation—it was a presence, familiar and inviting, almost as if it recognized you. The faint blue glow of the hexstone intensified, casting the warehouse in a gentle light that rippled like water, its rhythm almost imperceptibly aligning with the beat of your heart.
You smiled without meaning to, your breath catching in wonder. The energy wrapped around you like a silken embrace, weaving through the cracks in your soul and filling them with something you hadn’t felt in years: peace. Your wings stirred, their metal plates shifting smoothly for once, no longer scraping or grinding. They felt lighter, freer—almost as if the stone had erased the weight of their existence.
The hum of the hexstone resonated through the air, low and soothing, like the distant rumble of a summer storm. It curled around you, a siren’s call that tugged at the edges of your mind, drawing you deeper into its glow.
But then, the warmth shifted.
The soothing heat became sharper, hotter, prickling against your skin like embers scattering across bare flesh. The pulse of the hexstone grew erratic, its rhythm no longer in harmony with yours but forcing itself into your veins. The soft hum rose into a shrill whine, scraping against your eardrums like nails on glass.
Your wings spasmed violently, the once-smooth plates locking up as sparks crackled along their edges. The metal groaned, the sound jarring against the memory of that fleeting lightness. You tried to release the stone, your fingers trembling with effort, but they wouldn’t obey. The warmth had turned suffocating, a crushing heat that coiled around your chest and throat.
It wasn’t just holding you anymore—it was taking you.
The air grew heavy, and dense with the acrid tang of burning ozone and the metallic bite of blood. Your lungs burned with every breath, as though the stone’s energy had leeched the oxygen from the room. Shadows rippled at the edges of your vision, and the once-gentle glow twisted into jagged streaks of light that lashed out like living things, searing patterns onto your retinas.
The whispers started then.
“Leave.”“Close your eyes—let us in.”“We’ve been looking for you, (y/n).”
They weren’t real, but they felt real, the voices sharp and clinical, each word slicing through your mind like a scalpel. The pulse of the hexstone matched the rhythm of the words, each beat a hammer driving the memories deeper into your skull.
“Birdie!” Jinx’s shout was distant, muffled by the storm raging in your head. Her footsteps echoed faintly, distorted like a sound underwater.
Your wings unfurled uncontrollably, slamming into nearby crates with a deafening crash. Splinters rained down, scattering across the floor as electricity arced along your feathers. The air sizzled with the sharp tang of ionized metal, and every nerve in your body screamed for release.
“Snap out of it!” Jinx was closer now, her voice raw and frantic. Her hands gripped your shoulders, shaking you hard enough to make your head snap back. “It’s just a rock, Birdie!”
But the hexstone wasn’t just a rock.
It was a trap, a cage, an anchor to everything they had done to you.
Then came the crack—a gunshot, sharp and deafening.
Pain exploded through your wing, the metal plates seizing as agony rippled through your body. The hexstone tumbled from your grip, its glow dimming as it hit the floor with a hollow clink . The oppressive heat vanished in an instant, leaving you shivering in its absence.
You stumbled back, clutching your injured wing as blood and sparks seeped from the torn metal seams. The acrid stench of burned feathers filled your nose, and the distant voices finally fell silent.
“Birdie!” Jinx’s hands were on you again, her grip trembling but firm. Her voice was closer now, desperate. “Hey, are you with me? Come on, say something!”
The world around you swam, blurring at the edges as you blinked against the blinding warehouse lights. Jinx’s wide, frantic eyes came into focus, her face streaked with dirt and panic.
“...Fuck—yeah,” you rasped, the words scraping out of your throat like shattered glass.
Jinx exhaled a shaky breath, relief flashing across her face. But the reprieve was short-lived.
“Shit,” she hissed, her head whipping toward the far end of the warehouse. Flashlight beams sliced through the dark, followed by the heavy clang of enforcer boots and the sharp bark of orders.
She grabbed your arm, yanking you toward the nearest exit. “Forget the blue stuff,” she said, her voice uncharacteristically low and serious. “We’re leaving. Now.”
Still dazed, you stumbled forward, every step sending jolts of pain through your damaged wing. But as you moved, your eyes caught the faint, flickering glow of the hexstone, still lying on the floor where you’d dropped it. Its light pulsed weakly, no longer suffocating but still insistent, calling to you like a whisper at the edge of your mind.
It had nearly destroyed you.
But you couldn’t leave it behind.
Your hand darted out, snatching the stone before shoving it into your pocket. It sent a sharp, biting shock up your arm, but you ignored it, your focus narrowing to the approaching voices and the faint glint of enforcer rifles.
Jinx tugged you forward, her grip grounding you as your legs struggled to keep up. The glowing hexstone in your pocket throbbed against your hip, each pulse faint but insistent, like a warning you couldn’t ignore.
"Okay, shake it off!" Jinx urged, her voice a strange mix of panic and forced cheer. “We’ve got company, and I don’t feel like sticking around to meet 'em!”
The clang of enforcer boots grew louder, the sound slicing through the eerie hum still buzzing faintly in your ears. Your body felt heavy, the aftershock of the hexstone’s grip making every step feel like trudging through quicksand.
As you reached the warehouse doors, a blinding spotlight flooded the room, casting long, stark shadows against the rows of crates.
“Hold it right there!” a voice barked, the sound amplified by a speaker and distorted by authority.
Jinx’s grin returned, wide and wild. “Oh, great! A party crasher, I really don’t remember inviting you guys here…” she quipped, letting go of your arm and reaching for her gun.
“Jay—” you started, but she was already bounding away, her laughter echoing through the cavernous space as she dove behind a stack of crates.
"Stay low, Birdie!" she called, her voice fading as the first gunshot rang out.
The sound snapped you out of your haze, adrenaline flooding your veins as you ducked behind a crate. The sharp scent of gunpowder mingled with the faint metallic tang still clinging to your senses.
You pressed your back against the cold metal, breathing hard as the chaos unfolded around you. Sparks flew as bullets ricocheted off the crates, the enforcers’ shouts mixing with Jinx’s delighted cackles.
But even as you moved to grab a weapon, your fingers brushed against your pocket, where the hexstone pulsed faintly. A shiver ran through you, your stomach twisting as its warmth seeped through the fabric again, teasing, beckoning.
The fight raged on around you, but the hexstone’s pull was undeniable. It wasn’t just a weapon. It wasn’t just a tool. It was alive , and it wanted something—something only you could give.
You clenched your jaw, shoving the thought aside. Not now. Whatever power it held, you couldn’t afford to lose yourself again.
With a deep breath, you unfurled your wings, ignoring the sharp sting in the injured one as you launched yourself into the fray.
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a/n: aye chapter 3 im so glad that ppl are liking this so far! you can probably expect an update every 2-3 days (or not cuz school's kicking my ass and november burnout is real)
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taglist: @deathvidal , @stupendousbananasharkcop , @titusmouser , @itosh1teru , @0sunnyside0 , @pulcen , @chuucanchuucan , @fluffygreatness , @pebble-peddle
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kastlequill · 11 months ago
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iv/v. unearth without a name: the wolf that seeks always his own kind
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pairing: keegan p russ x f!reader word count: 2.3k synopsis: the fourth and final time you hallucinate keegan tags: whumptober, psychological warfare, injury, brainwashing, hallucinations, amnesia, hurt no comfort, established relationship, ghost!reader, 4+1, no y/n warnings: canon-typical violence, torture, non-consensual drug use ao3: read here ← prev | next →
IV.
The day you finally broke started off like all the rest.
Tray of gruel, no spoon. Recreational beating, violent enough to put the ache in your bones and the blooms of purple in your flesh, but nevertheless mindful not to render you out of commission. And now, mind games with Rorke.
Another harsh knee slammed into your abdomen, bruising the spleen beneath layers of tender flesh. The blow would’ve had you in a fetal position if you weren’t currently hanging from the ceiling by bound wrists. So, instead, you twisted your hands to tighten your grip on the taut rope, hoping to ground yourself with something tangible, something real. Alas, the move only served to agitate the preexisting friction burns along your restraints.  
Rorke sighed. “This little game of yours is gettin’ old, don’t y’think?”
You silently agreed with the sentiment, but your outward expression remained stoic. Or, at least, as stoic as could be expected from a half-beat, nearly-gone prisoner of war. Fatigue and exhaustion had assumed residence in your headspace, the pair thick as thieves, and you were growing weary of their company. 
Thanks to Rorke breaking your orbital bone a few meet-and-greets ago, your right eye had swollen shut, so it hurt like a motherfucker to tear your gaze up from the blood-soaked floor. When he at last entered your field of view, you almost wished you hadn’t wasted the energy to do so in the first place. 
“I’ll make you an offer,” he started, leaning forward. His breath reeked something foul. “Tell me what I want to know, and maybe I let you walk out that door with all your limbs still intact.”
In your desire to put an end to this prolonged bout of suffering, the suggestion briefly appealed to you. That was, until you felt the unforgiving, unmistakable heat of shame burn deeply within your gut. 
The Ghosts—the guys, your guys—were depending on you. They were out there, saving the world or what’s left of it, and you were down here, protecting their secrets with your rotting mind, body, and soul, heedless to the sharp sting of their apparent betrayal. Despite the horrors Rorke had forced you to endure over the course of presumably several months, you continued to keep firm so as to buy your men the time they needed to fulfill their ultimate objective. 
Hold the line, Keegan had instructed you once, hand heavy on your shoulder. The intensity in his eyes had captivated you as the team readied themselves to embark on another suicide mission.
Hold the line ‘til I tell you to fall back. Know I’m always watchin’ everyone, everything, everywhere, so trust I won’t forget about you. Just ‘cause you’re out of sight doesn't mean you’re out of mind. Is that clear, rookie?
Crystal clear. As clear as the wad of saliva you now lobbed at Rorke’s face, landing on the dead center of his left cheek. You watched him process the small act of rebellion and predicted his impending streak of violence. Then, for good measure, you broke your vow of silence and whispered two words:
“Fuck you.”
You had taken Rorke for the Devil at the beginning of this whole ordeal, but the revulsion he’d evoked in you back then did not compare to the pure malignancy that now contorted his scarred face. 
“Guess I’m just gonna have to beat it out o’ you,” he resolved, cracking his knuckles. 
And so the torture ensued as it always did in this vile and twisted tango. Punch after punch, kick after kick, cut after cut—you somehow remained conscious through it all. Even when you finally began to black out, he didn’t for a second relent his rapid volley attacks. 
At this point, fear was a distant thing. Bitter acceptance, however, had never been closer. Its arrival marked the beginning of the end. 
Everything that would follow was entirely and utterly out of your control. 
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“What’s your name?”
“. . . I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“No, I. . . I can’t remember it. My name.”
“Alright. Next question—”
“—did I do something wrong? Where am I? Is this some kind of test—”
“—how about your mother’s name? Think you can tell me that?”
“My mother. . ? Is she here? Safe?”
“Her name, please. If you’re unsure of the answer, say the word ‘unknown’.”
“She’s. . . her name is. . .” 
“Is what?”
“Unknown.”
“Interesting.”
“Interesting? I’ll show you interesting. You better start explaining why I can’t remember her, or her face, or my own goddamn name.” 
“That’s what we’d like to know as well, considering you are the one who all but short-circuited her brain and forgot everything of note.”
“. . . I what?”
“Retrograde amnesia. Quite a severe case of it, at that.”
“You’re saying I gave myself amnesia? Impossible.”
“Evidently not.”
“Just what exactly is this place? And who the hell you people?”
“Answer our questions, then maybe we’ll answer some of yours. Now, do you recognize the man in this photo?”
“Should I?”
“Yes or no.”
“No. I don’t know who he is. I’ve never seen him before in my life.”
“Well, this certainly changes things. Not to worry, though. You’ve made your mind a blank slate, and we can most definitely use that to our advantage.”
“Sorry, could you repeat that last part? My ears are still ringing, and your mumbling makes it hard to hear a damn thing.”
“Not important. Moving forward, it’s imperative that you understand the Federation is here to support your want for revenge. We can begin training you—”
“Slow down, alright, you’re not making any fucking sense. Let’s rewind. Who’s the guy with the mask? What’s his deal?”
“That guy is Keegan P. Russ. He’s part of the terrorist organization that launched the attack that murdered your family. Their plan called for no survivors, but you beat the odds and clung onto life long enough for us to find and rehabilitate you. We extend our sincerest condolences and hope to ease your pain by helping you eliminate him.”
“. . . eliminate? Do you hear how absolutely insane you sound? You’ve got the wrong woman, pal. I don’t do revenge, and I’m no killer.”
“Perhaps not yet. But you will be. Of that, I have no doubts.”
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They pumped you full of drugs and said it was to aid in your recovery from old wounds. Although that sounded like a steaming pile of horse shit, the barricaded exits and the constant stream of guards meant you had no choice but to comply. 
Honestly, you didn’t much care if their words were honest or deceitful. With no sense of who you were or what you cared about, a numbness froze your heart and your mind. And with nothing to gain and nothing to lose, apathy usurped the majority of your other emotions and thoughts. 
Still, you had no wish to participate in whatever acts of vengeance the Federation had planned. You attended the training sessions held by Commander Rorke because knowing how to fire a gun and how to defend yourself were valuable skills to have. Taking a life was altogether absent from the equation. 
But things changed once you came across the man in the mask. 
He appeared like a mirage not too long after your first dose of whatever they injected into your system. Initially, you’d assumed it was a trick of the light, but you quickly ruled out that possibility because there was simply no logical explanation for why you would otherwise be able to conjure a perfect replica of a stranger. The only sensical answer was that he had actually infiltrated the compound and was actually standing before you. 
That was when you learned that the faceless man—Keegan Russ, they’d called him—was a downright asshole. 
He took a liking to beating the utter shit out of you. You were certain you’d never been so sore in your entire life, given no recovery time between each show of his strength. Russ also accompanied his physical hits with verbal degradation, and with every additional insult he hurled your way, the more it stung: 
Worthless. Burden.
Omen. 
At first, it struck you as rather odd that no one else in the compound seemed able to discern Keegan’s presence. You’d once asked the female guard who brought your meals why she kept letting an enemy breach their supposedly-secure base, but your only reply had been a confused look and a disbelieving laugh. 
Seeing ghosts already, eh? She had no sooner spoken the words before her smirk disappeared, replaced by a more serious expression. Be calm, none pass without the commander’s permission. 
So, naturally, you concluded that this Keegan Russ must indeed have a personal vendetta against you, going as far as to risk his life and sneak past several defenses just to make you his very own punching bag. Upon realizing the extent of his desire to reap the life to which he still felt owed, your previous general apathy gradually morphed into a refined, pinpointed hatred. The emotional detachment lingered, but you were suddenly filled with a reinvigorated sense of purpose. 
In your new unfeeling world, you couldn’t help but latch onto the one thing that had managed to reduce you to a volatile vessel of rage. 
As the intensity and frequency of the beatings increased, so too did your eagerness to return his damage in full. Luckily, Commander Rorke was always there to patch you up and mend your wounds, though he was never curious about how you acquired them. Amidst your painful meetings with Russ, the commander began to grow on you slowly but surely. 
However, despite your greatest efforts, you simply could not grasp why he wouldn’t just kill Keegan himself. After all, based on what you’d gathered from your conversations, he seemed to hate the guy just as much as you did, if not more. 
Perhaps you should be thankful for the fact that the task had fallen onto you, because it was now the sole reason you awoke in the morning and went to sleep at night. Nothing else mattered; there was only this mounting need for revenge. It fueled you with a limitless supply of motivation, and you were determined not to let even a drop of it go to waste. 
Glorious be the day you finally sink a knife into his abdomen, face to face so you can see how the light fades from his eyes. 
That’s too easy. Too quick, you decided, mind elsewhere as your body remained fixed in the training room, wrapped fists ricocheting off a sparring dummy. He needs a taste of his own medicine. Maybe a few rounds of torture first, then I’ll kill him. 
That didn’t sound half bad. Actually, it sounded quite good. 
Still, you needed to give this some more thought. Killing Keegan Russ properly was of the utmost importance. 
And you’d have only a single chance to get it right. 
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“Name?”
“Not applicable.”
“Not applicable?”
“I have no use for a name. My name is my designation, and I am a weapon of the Federation.”  
“Understood. Familial relations?”
“Irrelevant and unimportant.”
“How so?”
“Logically, they must’ve existed at some point, but their existence has been reduced to a shadow in my mind. No tangibility, no substance.”
“And your primary objective?”
“Neutralize Keegan P. Russ. Then incapacitate all remaining Ghosts.”
“Good. Any further questions?” 
“Just one—how do you want me to confirm his death?”
“It’s simple, really. Bring us his head, mask and all.”
“Consider it done.” 
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Harsh winds pierced the layers of your gear as it funneled through the trees encircling the cliff from which you conducted reconnaissance. A few hundred meters away, you observed four men tend to their contained campfire and watched their hound roll in the dirt to score an extra piece of meat. 
The group appeared to be preparing for a confrontation. One was cleaning the barrel of his gun, and another was sharpening the blade of his combat knife. The remaining two had risen from the ground and were now engaged in conversation. Of them, the more animated speaker was bald, and the other listened as he fiddled with a pair of radios. Your stare locked on his face, or, more importantly, the familiar mask that covered it. 
Keegan Russ’ mask. 
Bloodlust began to take root in every fiber of your being, but you forced yourself to reduce its intensity to a simmer. 
Patience, came Rorke’s characteristic drawl, so embedded into the walls of your skull after three months of nonstop training and conditioning that it seemed to have developed a consciousness of its own. An unwelcome guest capable of overriding the authority of its helpless host. You’ll catch ‘em soon enough. Act sloppy, and I’ll put a bullet in your kneecaps, hear? If those sons of bitches don’t kill you first, that is. 
Flashes of phantom pain bloomed at the spot on your forehead between your brows, right where he would’ve usually flicked you for insubordination or incompetence. A fairly lax disciplinary measure, all things considered, and any irritation it sparked in you was simply redirected onto your target. Although the meek form of corporal punishment felt humiliating, you knew Rorke had only wanted to make you stronger to ensure you would survive your encounter with Keegan Russ and emerge victorious. 
You heaved a shaky sigh and raised your visor before clenching your gloved hands into fists, squeezing tightly, then releasing. Coming here had been strictly for recon purposes; there’d be no contact today, much to your disappointment.
Soon, you reassured yourself, trigger finger twitching against your leg. 
Soon, the task to which you had devoted yourself for months on end would be over and done with. Soon, the haunting image of a man known to you only as your attempted murderer would linger no longer. And soon, the world would reorient about its axis and start to make a bit of sense again. 
Soon. 
tbc.
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