#gets forgiven and taken back by John

[fahbee]

In the least surprising news ever, Amanda Abbington is a terf. And she thinks we need to protect kids from drag queens. Turns out the woman who got mad at fans for making porny gay fan art featuring a character played by her then-partner because one day her son might find it in a google search, when her then-partner had already made at least one film featuring full frontal nudity of his cock, is not an ally after all…

[novemberheart]

{overview} Just because your pack is back together doesn’t mean things are back to normal

{warnings} fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, poly141, cursing, mentions of being scared, smoking, short chapter

Chapter 30 <- Chapter 31 -> Chapter 32

“Hi, Ms. Garrick,” you greeted. You heard her chuckle on the other end of the phone.

“Well hello, lovely,” she greeted back. You smiled at the similarities between their pet names for you. She had gotten your number from John after Kyles accident. She called you leaving the kindest message in your inbox.

Hello, Sweetheart. Now you don't know me, but my name is Rosalind Garrick, Kyle’s mother. But don't think that just because you don't know me, I know nothing about you. You’re all Kyle talks about anymore and I’m just so happy he's finally able to get some peace amongst his chaos. I know how hard this all must be for you so if you ever need anyone to talk to please reach out to me. As far as I'm concerned you’re a part of our pack and we want to make sure you are taken care of.

Alright, sweetheart. Talk to you soon.

Since then you've called her every few days, mostly to give her updates about Kyle.

“How’s our beta doing?” she asked.

“He’s been doing good. Started to get up and walk with crutches. He's stubborn and restless,” you grumbled. As if on cue, the beta trudged out of his room, heading towards the kitchen.

“That’s the man I know,” she chuckled.

“Hey, mum,” Kyle greeted from the kitchen. You bounded over, hoisting yourself up onto the counter.

“The next time you all go on leave I want you to come home,” She pressed. You grinned wickedly, agreeing before the words had even reached Kyle’s ears. “I’ve only met Johnny. Now it’s a crime I haven't met your alphas yet, and I'm not going to let you get away with me not meeting your omega. In-person,” she added.

“Sounds right to me,” you agreed. That's why she loved you.

“You’ll love the city. Did Kyle tell you about all the museums? I know you love those.”

Kyle did tell her about you.

“We can work that out,” Kyle agreed. He did want to go home, and he desperately wanted to share that part of himself with you. You and Ms. Garrick both squealed excitedly.

“Can I talk to you about something?” you asked. He stiffened immediately, his mind jumping to the worst.

Had he hurt you again?

Your hands smoothed over his shoulder, your bottom resting against his knee. His relax was instantaneous. He leaned forward, his forehead resting against yours.

“I was wondering if I could get a job?” you said slowly. It wasn't slow enough with the way the wheels in his mind were turning.

“Why? Something you need? It’s my job”-

“No, nothing like that. It’s more social than anything.” you interjected. “I’ll be with Anais and Jane. It’s at a new bakery a little off base. It's just a few hours on Fridays and the weekend,” you explained.

He wanted to shut it down. You were social enough. Before Kyle was hurt you had activities nearly every day. Sometimes it felt like you did more in a day than they did.

Yet the look in your eyes halted him. You had forgiven him- he could feel it. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint you after just making up.

“Alright,” he agreed. You gasped softly, a wide grin spreading over your face. It made him happy despite the feeling of something wrong clawing at him.

“Thank you!” you cheered, your lips colliding with his cheek.

“One of us will take you to work the first week. Then you girls can commute together. And you are never to go off on your own, you understand?” he urged. You hummed against his cheek. “And I need to meet your boss- and anyone else who’s working there,” he added, between your attacks.

You were just about to head to your room, when a strong arm wrapped around your middle. You recognized a familiar tattoo.

“Tavy,” you giggled. He said nothing, heading to his room.

“Seems like you've forgotten it’s my night, bonbon,” he teased, tossing you on his bed. He crawled over you, making you flush.

“I could never forget,” you lied, blinking up at him. He smirked down at you, completely still for a moment before pressing rapid-fire kisses against your cheek.

You squealed as his hands tickled up and down your sides.

“Mac, no!” you gasped out. “I was just getting tired,” you whined against him. He paused, his smirk pressing against yours.

“Alright, peaches,” he agreed. He wrapped an arm tightly around you, purring softly as you buried your face in his chest. Cinnamon mixed with some of your vanilla lotion he had stolen.

“Simon comes home tomorrow,” you sighed happily. Johnny hummed, a pleased rumble leaving his throat. “I thought you and John would be gone longer,” you yawned.

“So did we,” he yawned back. He said nothing more on the topic, yet you didn't expect him to.

When you woke up you were no longer trapped between him and the bed, but him and another body. Leather with an undertone of black licorice. There was more smoke in his scent than you were used to. He must have been smoking a lot. A purr vibrated through you, making his chestnut eyes flutter open.

“What’re you purring about?” Simon groaned, pushing the two of you closer to Johnny. He was playing dumb. You could feel the curl of his lips against the back of your head.

“You’re back,” you said weakly, your throat hoarse with sleep.

“I’m back,” he affirmed. His hand found your stomach rubbing small circles in an attempt to lull you back to sleep. He wasn't ready to get up yet. He had just gotten home an hour ago and the last thing he wanted to do was pull himself away from the warmth of this bed. “Go back to sleep, pup,” he urged. You didn't need much more convincing, your eyes practically sewing themselves shut.

“Welcome home,” Johnny grumbled, with half-lidded eyes.

“Thanks, pup,” Simon mumbled, his fingers digging into the Scots side, pulling all of you closer once more. That wasn't usual for Simon, needing to have his pack this close, especially after a mission. Something must’ve happened.

“You alright?” Johnny drawled, unburying his face from your neck. Simon hummed in assurance.

“Fine, mutt,” he soothed. “Get some sleep,” he pressed, his fingers racking up and down Johnny’s lower back.

The next time Simon woke he had a fever. It was hot enough to make you and Johnny wake up in a sweat. Johnny quickly grabbed you, plopping you on the couch next to Kyle- assuming you may have triggered a rut for Simon like you had for John.

“What’s happening?” John groaned, uncurling himself from Kyle on the couch.

“Fever,” you responded. Kyle's hand pressed against your forehead. “Simon,” you clarified, moving to stand so you could peek into Johnny’s room. “I don't think it’s a rut Johnny,” you mumbled.

“I’m fine,” Simon groaned. He peeled off his sweatshirt, flopping back down against the mattress. His wide chest rose and fell irregularly. You approached your hand resting on his stomach. His body seemed to relax slightly, and you decided to take the chance and curl up against him. His heartbeat was fast- too fast.

“I’m calling a doctor,” John pressed, gently maneuvering Kyle off of him. Simon flipped the two of you over, making you gasp. Johnny flung forward his hand gripping the alpha’s shoulder.

“Not gonna do anything, pup,” he mumbled, his heart squeezing at the sound that escaped you. “Need to feel ya,” he mumbled, just low enough for you to hear. His hand crept under your shirt resting against the soft skin of your back.

He couldn't explain it. It started two weeks ago, a light burning sensation under his skin, and an almost sour feeling in his mouth. It felt like he was going through withdrawals. He was shaky, his heart skipping beats. He went through two packs of cigarettes in a day and still no relief. Wasn't till he met you at the hospital after Kyle’s accident did he start to put it together. Yet it only got worse being around you.

He growled against your neck, clenching his jaw so hard his teeth creaked.

“Doctor’ll be here in fifteen,” John spoke, his shoulder taking up the doorway. “How long have you felt this way?” John pressed.

“Couple weeks,” he growled. A pang shot through his skull, he steadied himself over you, taking a deep breath. It only made it worse, yet he couldn't pull himself away. Johnny leaned against the desk causing it to creak, the sound sending Simon on high alert. You whined at the snarl that left him. “Sorry,” he apologized instantly.

“Sweetheart, how about we wait on the couch till the doctor gets here?” John offered, beginning to move towards the two of you. He didn't like the way Simon was acting. The sound that came out of Simon was deadly, making it known he disagreed with Johns suggestion. John released a sound of his own.

You were scared.

It didn't help when Simon's hand reached behind him, grabbing at John's shirt.

“What the hell?” Johnny growled. Johnny sprung into action, his arms reaching under Simons pulling him to the floor.

“Get out!” John commanded. You didn't need to be told twice, throwing yourself off the bed, curling up behind Kyle. Kyle held you with both arms, not caring about the uncomfortable stretch of his shoulder.

“Up we go,” Kyle pressed, grabbing his crutch and leading you into your room. He locked the door behind the both of you, cradling you against him as you shook.

You could hear them.

Cursing. The sound of someone being slammed against the wall. Growling. Shouting. Things breaking.

The smell of angry alpha began to seep under the door.

“Kyle,” you whimpered. He shushed you softly, his lips pressed against your hairline.

It suddenly went quiet.

Hi friends! See you in three days for chapter 32! 🧡🙌🏻

[hydrus101]

To go alongside my John thoughts, I also can't stop thinking about Arthur.

You love him, you lose him, you get him back, but not before mistreating a version of him that you don't recognize, one that isn't perfect, one that isn't right. You nearly die in front of him. Again. You escape. You leave. And at the crossroads, he asks you to trust him.

You know he is lying to you, but you trust him.

You gain friends, more people than you've spoken to in, what? Weeks? Months? Entire years? He pushes you away from them all, some more violently than others. He tries to kill one and doesn't even realize it. You give him another chance. You give him what he asks for. You let him feel seen.

And he is still lying to you. You realize later, it's with good reason. He's told you the horrors of that place, you cannot judge him for wanting to escape at any cost, and it would be hypocritical to judge him for dealing with the devil when you were the first to shake his hand.

You would have forgiven him that. Easily. You trust him.

But he doesn't trust you.

He asks for your memory to be taken. For revelations to be obscured, for you, who has spent this entire journey driven by the insatiable urge to seek, to find, to know, to forget. Because he does not trust that you can find him redeemable.

[therealslimshakespeare]

i hope u know u have destroyed me w ur description of major cleven back there and i expect every detail of major egan’s as well now

P.S CLEVEN SO IS A SPLUTTER

Long love our gushing little eager sprinkler Cleven!

Now, on to Major John Egan who will definitely blush up to his ears regarding what I shall relay over the covers of this our sleepover, but who will nonetheless be tuned in with unabashed curiosity to hear what we make of him and to catch -he dearly hopes- some word of admiration and applause for his pleasing proportions…

Cock-versations: John “Bucky” Egan edition

nsfw (AF!) under the cut:

So we’ve talked about Gale Cleven and his ken doll perfect silicon-esque, beauty pageant pretty cock, how it’s shaped and sized as if to be a dildo, as immaculate as that face he possesses, feels a little otherworldly to be even dealing with it kinda cock.

But Bucky? Oh that’s no cherub for you, that’s a salt of the earth man.

Where Gale Cleven’s appendage could get passed up in a line up of fakes as another perfect fake, there’s something to be said about a cock so singular, rugged and wonderfully human there’s no doubting it’s a genuine -if utterly shocking- article.

If Gale Cleven is a renaissance pillar, John Egan is a gnarled oak tree.

Hear me out:

For one: The sheer size. Tree-worthy, a mighty oak, a stalwart redwood, a hardened maple. But also, a tad bent, and curving up, partly because all that length must go somewhere. And oh -trust me, there’s length. But there’s also girth. But here’s what’s funny, my sweets, length and girth as we have said but were you to lay this cock next to say, bratwurst or the average petite pubic bone, you might be a little shocked by just how large it is. Because when seen in the wild, seen at liberty, attached to the man himself, it appears deceivingly moderate.

It’s the opposite of Cleven’s slim hips and jutting pillar illusion. Instead, with Bucky you’ve got mighty thighs and a huge torso and broad shoulders that could carry the globe. You would be forgiven for thinking he’s nicely equipped while not rightfully proportioning it to you, to the rest of us mortals.

Taken alone or…into oneself, you suddenly realize you’re riding a telephone pole and…now we are back to the tree imagery again. Huge, bent a bit, a tendency to grow and throb the harder he gets, but most of all -we all know and love that very special vein running along the underside of a dick. But for Egan? That whole vein is an extra ridge, like a three leaf clover cock sorta thing: if you’ve seen one you never forget it, and when I tell you it rubs your stretched little rim to madness with it’s extra ridge, I’m not using hyperbole.

Closing thoughts: less of a bright Barbie pink tip like Cleven’s and more of a constant pretty multi shade of purples, all along, sack and all. shockingly huge balls to go with it, even deeper plummy shade for these. perhaps the hottest and warmest cum blast you’ve ever felt, those swimmers have been sheltered and simmered in between those thighs waiting just for you, after all.

[piratefishmama]

Forgiven Not Forgotten | Part 2

Out of the estimated 10 to 15,000 people in Hawkins Indiana, several hundred left just after the earthquake, a handful of families left during the serial killings to protect their families, and the rest?

Those remaining amounted up to about three hospitals worth. Four maximum. Whatever terrors had wrought through Hawkins during those two years of radio silence… had decimated the population.

So when the Harringtons got the call, when Steve’s croaky voice filled that speaker, and told them exactly where he was, which hospital they’d been taken to, they hadn’t wasted a single second, they jumped into the car, and broke several speed laws to get there.

The sight that greeted them on the other side of those double doors would be forever seared into their minds.

Families they’d known, broken, missing members neither Lynda or John wanted to assume about, were they alive, being treated in one of the rooms, or were they lost, neither wanted to know, so they pushed through, eyes roaming those waiting to be seen or waiting for news on friends and family until someone familiar appeared.

Lynda spotted her first, her legs pulled up on the chair, arms tucked around her knees, surrounded by a small hoard of younger teens, all supporting various non-life threatening injuries and scars they probably didn’t want to speak about.

It was like they’d come from a warzone, clothes torn, patched up by rags tied in places to cover skin, dirty skin, hair matted, clinging to each other, haunted. Nothing life threatening, it looked like they were all just… waiting.

Waiting for people who knew them to turn up for them.

“Robin!!” Lynda gasped, loud enough to catch the girls attention, her head snapping up, eyes wide as the parents rushed forward, Robin rose to her feet, stumbled almost just in time to be gathered up into Lynda’s arms, much to her surprise. She didn’t fight it though, no… instead she melted into it, as though it was the first physical contact she’d had that didn’t involve fighting for her life in two whole years. “Where—where are your parents, Robin?”

“T-They… I don’t know, they got out… I think… but I—I haven’t seen them, I think people are still learning that they can come back, if they even want to come back, I mean… there isn’t much left back there for anyone to come back to—Steve! Steve you want—you want Steve right?” The other kids seemed to have perked up, watching the interaction in confusion.

“Where is he, Robin?” Robin looked to John, her gaze a mixture of uncertainty and hesitance. “Please… we know he’s here, he called us, sounded—”

“He’s been in and out, worlds best babysitter took a beating from something… big, protecting these idiots.” They hadn’t been made to sign anything yet, but it was hard to explain what exactly had come for them in the end without sounding like she should be in a hug me jacket getting thrown into a rubber room. “C’mon, I’ll take you to him.”

“Robin? Who’s—” one of the kids started to rise from his seat, or… not a kid, probably closer to a young adult at that point, forced to grow up far too quickly.

“Steve’s parents.”

“Holy shit, they exist?” Both parents cast similar frowns in the boys direction for that little quip “—sorry It’s just… I’ve known him for years and never met you, doesn’t even—”

“That’s enough Dustin” Robin cut him off, sharply but not unkindly. “You don’t know everything, just drop it. C’mon, this way.” She seemed to be walking on a limp, but she was walking, leading them down a corridor until she made it to a door left slightly ajar, the one opposite it flanked on either side by a pair of soldiers. The Harringtons assumed she’d be leading them to the other. But no. She stopped outside of the one closed too and looked at the pair like they’d personally offended her.

They didn’t even try and stop her when she grabbed the handle, instead stepping a little further apart to allow her and her guests to enter with her, John closed the door behind him.

The room was quiet, mostly, save for a radio playing quietly by the window, a genre that no-one would ever assume could be played quietly, and the steady beep of life saving machines. It wasn’t a large room, only big enough for a single bed, the machines, some room to walk around, and a couple of chairs, private, but it housed two people anyway. One on the bed, hooked up to all those machines, skin pale, scarred, his hair long and messy in a way Lynda would probably guess he’d had curls at one point.

Not anymore, it was just a matted mess by that point, one of his hands resting in the linens, handcuffs on his wrist linking him to the bed, the other wrapped in someone else’s grip.

That someone else… the other—

“Steven?” His head snapped up at his father’s voice, hand swiftly withdrawing from the man’s in the bed, his hair had been cut short, possibly to the scalp for convenience, the lengths seemingly only just growing back, he had scars around his neck from what looked like barbs, scars down his arms, both old and new, bruising, treated injuries that'd likely looked way worse when he was admitted.

another round of injuries his parents figured he'd struggle to tell them about.

He rose to his feet, he looked… thin beneath the hospital garbs they’d put him in. Thinner than he should have been, he’d always been broad but now… it was as though he hadn’t had a decent meal in two years. Likely living off of whatever they could scrounge together.

“Stevie, my baby…” Lynda’s voice sounded more like a pained whine, but it was the only warning Steve got before his mother lurched forward and wrapped him up in a fierce hug, adjusting only when her son winced and hissed in pain “you—you were s-supposed to—you were supposed to call to—to contact us, you—”

“I know… I know I—we got cut off, that call, it was the last one any of us could make, those bastards cut us off when they realised it wasn’t gonna be like the times before.” It wasn’t going to be a quick one and done. That the thing they were dealing with was much bigger than just one evil.

It was a whole hoard of evil. Not just Henry. Henry had back up in the form of a gigantic evil cloud, monsters of all shapes and sizes, and an arsenal of loved ones to use as his own personal puppets to terrorize and destroy the people left behind. Eddie being the only one actually there.

“The times before?” John’s voice had his son looking up from the hug his mother had trapped him in. His eyes seemed to dip “Steven… please…”

Steve shook his head, he couldn’t, not there anyway. “I’m fine though,” he’d change the subject instead, a regular instance in the Harrington household, hide the truth and mask it with an “I‘m fine” “bit banged up, but I’ll live…” he released the hold on his mother, even if she didn’t want to let go just yet.

“Who’s this…?” And they let it happen. Every time they let it happen, let the subject go, let it switch to something new, John would allow it for now, but… once out of there, once the dust settled, they’d be having that talk. For now, he was okay with letting the subject change. Aiming it instead at the elephant in the room.

The unconscious man in the bed his son had been holding onto moments ago. That ember, that tiny spark in his son, perhaps… perhaps it was still there.

“Eddie… he uh… he helped, at the end… he—we wouldn’t be alive without him… we thought—we thought he was dead for months but… he wasn’t.” Another touchy subject, but at least that one his son was willing to talk about.

“The handcuffs?”

“Police still think he killed a bunch of kids before the earthquake, the handcuffs are a ‘precaution’ apparently, as if he’s going anywhere.” The serial killer. Eddie Munson. Lynda’s head snapped to the man, eyes wide “he didn’t!” Steve was quick to assure her “It looked bad, it did, it looked like he did it, but he didn’t, he wouldn’t he—he’s good… he’s good. He saved us.”

“Saved you? How?”

“It’s hard to explain…”

Robin on the other hand, didn’t care quite as much as their son did when it came to hiding the facts. “Evil guy, Henry Creel, actual culprit in the Creel murders of ’59 and actual serial killer, we thought Eddie died before the earthquake cause he basically got ate alive by a bunch of evil bats, but Henry was using him as a henchman of sorts, kept him alive to use against us cause we all felt guilty over it which… y’know, fair, he didn’t have to stay involved but he did, and he got ate of course, we felt guilty. I dunno how, but he snapped out of it at like… the last minute, and bought us enough time to take him down, now he’s just…” she motioned to the bed, the steady beep of the monitor going off rhythmically. “We got him out this time though.”

“…What?” Both Harringtons asked in unison.

“Robin” Steve hissed.

“What? Jeez, they haven’t made us sign anything yet.”

“…Sign something? What do you mean sign something?” Lynda looked between them, the two young adults clearly exhausted. “Steven? What have you signed?”

“NDA’s mom, each time, they’ve forced us to sign these Non-Disclosur—”

“Who?”

“Y’know… the government?”

There was something distinctly satisfying about watching a 5’4" woman demolishing a government agent. Something almost the entirety of the Party managed to witness when someone from said government finally decided to grace them with their presence to sign those pretty shut your mouth documents they were so fond of dolling out.

John Harrington watched with what could only be described as a dopey grin on his face as he leaned in to whoever was closest, this being one very tired Mike Wheeler, to say “You know she majored in Contract Law back in the day? Minor in Ethics too. God look at her go.” Totally and completely smitten over his own wife’s rage.

Apparently forcing minors to sign NDA’s, while technically legal for them to scribble on the dotted line, couldn’t actually be held up anywhere in court due to age and how dare they force children, not just her OWN but other children to sign that shit without a parent or legal guardian present.

It ended with her loudly declaring that “NOBODY in this hallway will be signing your goddamn papers, and as for the previous ones? You’ll be hearing from our lawyers.” Then, on her heel she turned, and returned to the group, leaving a stunned government agent floundering in the hallway having clearly expected an easy ride. “Everyone, get your things, you’re coming home with us.” Too revved up to stop just yet.

“Excuse me, why would we go with you? Ain’t you ever heard of stranger danger, ma’am?”

“Erica Sinclair, I held you when you were just 3 months old and I bought you and your brother your first strollers, now get your backside out to that car this instant.” Erica shut up, momentarily subdued, but she did have to wonder when exactly her parents had met the Harringtons, later, questions for later. Maybe when she and her brother found their parents. “We have a house with two bathrooms and enough food to feed an army, let’s go.” Not quite the six bathroom four bedroom estate they’d had in Hawkins but…

They weren’t going back there. Nobody was going back there.

The modest two bed close by would do as home base for now, even if it wasn’t quite big enough to hold everyone, they’d make do. John stepped forward to add, “we have a working phone too, get you in touch with the people you need to be in touch with, and we’ll let the front desk know to inform anyone who comes looking where you’ve gone. It’ll be okay, let’s get you out of here and cleaned up.”

“Mom… I’m not leaving Eddie, we’re not… not again, he’s—he’s all on his own I—I can’t.”

“Honey…” Lynda started, but… that little boy they’d long since watched withdraw into himself, he was just… there, for the briefest of moments, showing himself, his emotions, raw, and tired, but it was enough, her son was in there, clawing back to the surface, she wasn’t about to ruin it now. “How about we go home, we get you all cleaned up, get you something to eat, and then we come back and figure out what to do about Eddie, how’s that sound?”

“We have plenty of world class lawyers on our side, Son, we’ll get him out of here in no time, just… let’s get you cleaned up first, Okay? The house is only half an hour away.” Close, they’d be close, the hesitation on all of their faces though, this poor boy, whoever he was… they all hesitated to leave him, there was a lot of love in that hallway, each one as determined as the last to stay with their friend.

“…Alright shitheads, to the car.” Not a single one of those kids argued, Steve was in charge, but Mike and Lucas both hung back.

“I’m gonna stay with the Byers, Nance, Holly, and my mom are with them so—”

“An I’m gonna stick with Max until her mom gets here.” Doctors said she could wake up at any time after her brain activity kicked back up when the dust settled… when Henry died. He wanted to be there when she did. “I’ll be fine though, promise.”

And when Lynda stepped forward to hand Mike a little card with a number scribbled on it, saying “This is our home number, If anything changes with your friend, Eddie while we’re gone, call us, okay? We’ll be right back here in a flash.” She caught the faint smile on her sons face in her peripheral vision.

Baby steps.

Part 4

[catcas22]

Incoming Rant

We need to bring back the concept of righteous vengeance in fiction. The idea that "if you kill a murderer, the number of murderers in the world remains the same" needs to die.

There is a time and a place for stories about the destructive and ultimately pointless nature of the cycle of violence -- namely, when both sides are equal participants in the violence, and/or equally guilty, and/or equally capable of fighting back. There is a time and a place for stories about redemption, second chances, and people who change for the better -- namely, for characters who make real, tangible changes for the better before they are forgiven, for characters who proactively make amends, for characters who do not presume that they are entitled to forgiveness from their past victims.

But I'm going to lose it if I consume one more article of media where it's suddenly bad to kill an unrepentant murderer because the protagonist has a personal stake in the matter. Sometimes justice and vengeance are one and the same. Sometimes valuing human life means being willing to kill someone who has massacred countless innocents and fully intends to continue doing the same.

It used to be a noble calling to hunt down the man who killed your father, or to make it your mission to kill the warlord who burned your village, or to tear down the tyrant king who oppressed your people. Why is a villain getting their just desserts suddenly "wrong" and "vengeful" just because, amongst all of their many victims, one of them managed to hit back?

Imagine a version of The Princess Bride where, just as he has the Six-Fingered Man dead to rights, Westley catches Inigo's arm and is like "No, my friend, if you kill him then you're no better than he is!" Imagine Gladiator if during the final duel Maximus decides to die gracefully and spare Commodus, because he's sad and conflicted and being emperor is hard, okay? Imagine John Wick or I Spit on Your Grave if the protagonist was like "But the cycle of violence tho" and let a bunch of vicious sociopaths walk away unscathed. Imagine Taken if Liam Neeson said "So those human traffickers took my daughter, but if I kill them then aren't I taking those men away from their families? Wouldn't that make me the real monster? 🥺"

What I'm saying is, I'm enjoying The Stormlight Archives tremendously, but Brandon Sanderson's moral compass is a spinning top. I could maybe see his point with Elhokar, but Amaram and Roshone? Really? Really?

[sosa2imagines]

I know where I belong. Part 9

----------------------------------------------------- Warnings- Angst for Steve, fluff for everyone.

Part 10 -----------------------------------------------------

Your POV- ‘This was all you, none of it me’ I see Sharon pushing you in anger. Your eyes fell on me. I didn’t feel anything. ‘I was too strong, you were trembling. You couldn't handle the hot heat rising, mmm, Baby, I'm still rising’ Bucky holds my hand and leads me to the dance floor. I can see Sharon is being abusive towards you and you are speechless. ‘I'm giving you up. I've forgiven it all. You set me free.’ Whereas I found my happiness thanks to you Steve. I look deep into Bucky’s eyes and all I can see is me in them and the love they hold for me. Bucky kisses me softly, not to tease you or show it to the world. But to remind me that he is with me and he is mine. Thank you, Steve, for giving me Bucky and setting me free. ‘Send my love to your new lover. Treat her better. We gotta let go of all of our ghosts. We've both know we ain't kids no more.’ Sharon threw her drink on you and left.

Sharon was hurt and angry. How could Steve stop be being Captain America? How dare he retired? “How could you do this to me Steve?” She pushes him in anger, demanding answers. “I did it for us babe. We can have more time together, start a family.” Steve is somewhat hopeful, Sharon will agree. But instead she starts to scream at him. “Family? A fucking family? Are you out of your mind? You ruined everything!” Steve was not expecting this. No this can’t be happening to him. His eyes fell on you and Bucky dancing together, without a care in the world. Sharon, saw what he was looking at. “All this because of that bitch?” before Steve could say something, Sharon threw her drink on him and left.

Sam was the first to burst out laughing followed by Tony. You and Bucky kind of felt bad for him...but? Oh, never mind. Steve was angry, on top of that he was insulted and Bucky kissed you. “So, you two an item or something?” He snaps at you both, Tony and Sam were ready to give him a piece of mind but Bucky was quick with his metal arm colliding in Steve’s face. Steve stumbled back, breath taken away. A huge bruise was formed on his cheek. Bucky didn’t say anything turning his back on him. “If you know what’s good for you, keep your mouth shut.” Tony warns Steve and he nods in response. After some minutes Sharon joined you all for drinks. Everyone ignored her. “Fine you and the bitch can gang up all you want. I don’t care.” Before anyone can say something to defend you, this time you were quick to throw your drink on her and give her a black eye. “Anyone wants more drinks? Mine is empty” Tony whistled proudly, while Sam sang praises, and Bucky?...well god help him with the boner you just gave him. He has seen you fight plenty of time before, but this was “SEXY” he actually said it out loud. While you headed to get drinks for everyone, Nat was quick to grab Sharon by her hair so tight breaking few a lot of strands. “Be careful with what you say next.” She warns her, letting go of her hair not so gently making sure her head bangs on the table, damn it didn’t.

As the party went on, more guests had arrived. One particular guest was John Walker, Bucky absolutely hated him. Why? Let’s say long before you were even Steve’s girlfriend, John misbehaved with you and Bucky beat the shit outta him.

Bucky was about to get up to throw him out before Tony stopped him with a hard glare. “Fine but if he does not behave, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.” Bucky tells not so very sweetly. “He won’t do anything, anyway he is The Director of Shield’s favorite.” Now what Tony said was pure sarcasm, but little miss Sharon thought something else and quickly left.

An hour later Steve came around searching for Sharon. “Have you guys seen Sharon?” “Nope, must be lost with the black eye.” Sam laughed, Steve looked utterly confused. “No, we have not seen her, since Walker arrived.” Nat told him. “Hmm speaking about him, where is he?” You asked before pouting at the way Bucky was looking at you for asking about Walker, “What? I asked only to stay the hell away from him.” Bucky nodded to your answer but kept looking at you like an angry puppy. Steve was looking visibly upset as no one was helping him. Tony took a pity and asked FRIDAY about Sharon’s whereabouts. “Miss Carter is in the gym with John Walker.” As soon as FRIDAY said that all heads turn towards Steve, “Maybe she is teaching Walker how to use the gym” Sam snickers, “With a black eye?” Tony asks and you all leave with Steve towards the gym. “Bucky, I don’t have a good feeling about this” you whispered in his ear, but Steve could hear your concern due to his super hearing. “Don’t worry doll.” Bucky assured you. When you all reached the gym, John’s loud moans were echoing. Steve was not ready to open the door. Somewhere you all knew what was happening. Nat took the initiative and open the door. All the emotions drained from Steve’s body, you all froze to the sight of John walker leaning on the wall, pants and boxers dropped to his ankles and Sharon on her knees, mouth full. When Steve cheated on you, that feeling was so horrible you didn’t wish it for anyone to experience. So what Steve must be feeling right now, you could understand.

Part 10

----------------------------------------------------- (Hey lovelies part 9 is here and I hope you all enjoy. Comments and feedbacks are appreciated. The next part will be the last of this series. Lot's of love to you all. 😊❤️) -----------------------------------------------------

[muzaktomyears]

Mimi and Paul

I immediately wrote Mimi of the news [of John leaving Yoko]. “If your news re: Y. is sound, well that’ll please me I can tell you. It’s his only hope of getting on an even keel again,” she responded.

Someone had sent her recently taken pictures of John and they made her sad. She thought he looked lost somehow and might be wishing The Beatles would get back together. It was those times she thought he missed all the happy times the group had together. He began phoning her again and had told her that Paul was coming over and that he would be seeing him. She hoped that happier times would be coming out of their meeting.

Mimi seemed to hear from John on a somewhat regular basis again while he was separated from Yoko. If he didn’t phone, he wrote and she was always pleased when she heard from him. He seemed much more like his old self, she thought, and he had continued hopes that he and Paul might get back together again.

---

Mimi had talked to John (before the Paul [getting arrested in Japan] news had broken) and determined that he would never tour again. He and Paul had just spoken on the phone and Paul had been complaining “how hard the tour was”. So John had asked him “why the hell do you do it then?” The honest answer, according to Mimi, was that he simply could not give up the publicity.

---

“…I was talking to Neil Aspinall – Apple. He too is furious about the book ‘Shout’, such a pathetic liar for money. I had a good ‘shout’ about Paul too. Behold! A couple of hours later a phone call from Paul! He was nervous of me�� I told you… many excuses. Thought I was annoyed with him. And so I was. Also Paul seriously thinking of going after Philip Norman over ‘Shout’. If ever I see Philip Norman I’ll pitch into him. Paul advised me not to do it myself. It is monstrous that this scandal monger can write such things.”

---

[re: Paul ringing in April] Mimi had truly been upset that he’d not called her before then and she had bent Neil Aspinall’s ear one Sunday afternoon. Two hours later all was forgiven with a phone call from Paul. She said she scolded him, telling him he should have known she wasn’t thinking of any ridiculous slight he might have been worried about. It had been John who had been killed and Paul should have known she was thinking of nothing else. I don’t know what he said but they both cried, she said, and any resentment was gone.

She said she could hear children in the background and asked him if all those were his. “Yeah, we’re like rabbits around here.”

They discussed the book Shout! by Philip Norman and how they resented parts of it. He told her not to get involved and that he would handle it, though what he intended on doing or what he actually did, I have no idea. Since Norman is now writing a biography on Paul and claims to have received a rather conceptual OK, I would assume all is forgiven there as well.

Before ringing off, Paul said he would be down to visit her one day; something she was still waiting to see happen.

The Guitar’s All Right as a Hobby, John, Kathy Burns (2014)

[meetinginsamarra]

mayprompts2024, #22 night

White Pony Tattoo - Part Three (Night)

A loud metallic bang ringing behind John’s back made him startle. His heartbeat sped up and he instinctively ducked, looking for cover to avoid being shot again.

The sound of hushed voices and the clatter of high-heeled shoes on cobblestones had John realize that it had been the door of car banging shut. Also, John was remembered that suffering from PTSD might give him a break but will not go away even after a multitude of sessions with his therapist and more than two years after the original traumatizing event.

Embarrassed about his behaviour that had made him look like a nutjob, John feigned to have ducked in order to tie a loose shoelace.

Peeking up from under his fringe that had fallen over his forehead, John saw Calais Reno disappearing in the White Pony tattoo shop. He could not believe his eyes. Standing up, close to the shop’s window, John watched as the expensive limousine turned around a street corner, feeling slightly dazed.

The internationally acclaimed movie star and recent Oscar-nominee who currently dominated the news of London’s yellow press had vanished in Sherlock’s shop to get tattooed. Dear God!

Knuckles tapping on glass made John turn around and look straight into Sherlock’s grinning face on the other side of the window pane. Sherlock winked and then pressed the suction cups of a second metal sign against the glass, and disappeared behind the purple curtain. The sign simply read “closed, don’t disturb”.

It was still early in the afternoon and the sun was shining, so John took the opportunity to take a stroll through Regent’s Park nearby. He sat down on a bench, sipping the take-away coffee he had bought on the way and remembered how he had met his old friend Mike Stamford on a very similar bench in this park two years ago.

They had talked about their training time at Bart’s Hospital. Mike had taken on a carreer in educating medical students while John took an army engagement. In the end, it had been Mike’s pointer that helped John to get hold of his current job as a clinic doctor.

Shortly after, Mary Morstan had come around and quickly won over John’s heart with her open, charming and uncomplicated nature and her dark sense of humour that matched John’s own very well.

It had been a day like this when they had got married. Seven months of happiness followed, at least for John. As it turned out, Mary had not been happy but instead became bored of John and started to have an affair. With their mutual dentist of all possible men. Who was also married and bored apparently.

John had only found out by accident. Coming home early from an obligatory three-day refresher course in emergency medicine, he had literally caught them in the act on the sofa in their sitting-room. Not in their marital bed, thankfully. Small mercies.

John might even have forgiven her, had it been a one-time misstep. But it hadn’t. Mary confessed quickly in the following tumultuous row that the affair had lasted for two months and that Randy Bernard, the dentist, was about to divorce his wife for her and therefore, Mary wanted to divorce John.

Too hurt and betrayed to argue, John agreed. He spent the night alone in their bed, having banned his adulterous soon-to-be ex-wife to sleep on the sofa. The next morning, Mary had left John’s flat to move in with Randy.

Albeit John scorned his wife for her unfaithfulness, he also missed her at home and in the bed. Everything was too quiet, too cold, too empty, too lonely. The nightmares of Afghanistan and getting shot in the shoulder, bleeding out in the hot desert sand returned in all of their gory glory and terror.

This had been going on for nearly four weeks, every night and it wore John down.

Mary had long taken her things and moved out, not leaving a scrap of hers in the flat. Not that John would have wanted. The only thing that stayed with John, irremovable, was the damned tattoo of the Virgin Mary with Mary’s face on his upper arm.

Once, John had loved it. It was a very well-done tattoo and the artist had captured Mary’s face in ink beautifully. But now, it reminded John every time he saw it of all the hurt that Mary had unapologetically caused and John hated it. Therefore, it had to go.

Drinking the last sip of his coffee, John took out his mobile phone and began to search for images of tattoos that had been done by Sherlock. The artist himself did not boast with his work apparently because all the photos John could find had been posted by the people who had managed to get one.

Quite a number of the lucky persons who had been deemed worthy of Sherlock’s attention were famous.

There was the lauded crime writer couple who only went by their pseudonyms “Solarmama” and “Plantsareneat” and never showed their faces in public. They had posted a photograph of their backs standing beside each other and the tattoo was a stunningly intricate diptych of flowers on a sunny meadow.

Another very impressive tattoo was a full arm sleeve of a majestic grizzly bear in a mountain landscape. It looked so realistic as if the bear might jump right off Peanitbear’s skin. The Grammy-winning singer/songwriter beamed on the photo and proudly held the tattooed arm close into the camera.

This evening back home in his flat, when John fell asleep in the empty bed after stalking White Pony Tattoo and Sherlock Holmes – which apparently was his real name - on the internet for hours, he did not dream of Afghanistan.

John dreamt of getting tattooed by Sherlock Holmes lying naked on a sunny mountain meadow while a large group of faceless but famous people watched and applauded. John had never been so happy before in his life.

+++++

I hope you like your cameos as famous people @solarmama-plantsareneat @calaisreno @peanitbear

tagging some people @totallysilvergirl @peageetibbs @lisbeth-kk  @raina-at

[archivalofsins]

You won't tolerate sin?

Let's get right back into this! When we finished off the last post we were still discussing question seven of Kotoko's second written interrogation.

This post is a direct continuation of the last post. In this we'll be discussing Kotoko's mindset towards the law and sin. I hope some people can find enjoyment from it.

Q.07 Why did you choose law school?

Kotoko: Because I had some doubts about it. That's my excuse for wanting to study it. I think complaining about something you don't fully understand is disgraceful.

Why this phrasing of her answer is being used is explained in depth in the first part. Now let's get back into it for real-

You won't tolerate sin?

"Yes. I despise evil."

I want readers to really let what Kotoko said sink in. She doesn't say she despises criminals or crime. She states that she won't tolerate sin or evil.

The failure to distinguish between these things is what I believe is tripping people up about Kotoko the most.

For example a good while back I saw people being surprised about how Kotoko went from this,

Q.03 Do you think any other prisoners who committed the same sin as you deserve to be forgiven?

Kotoko: Of course. Haven’t I already said that I believe my actions have been correct?

Q.16 How do you feel about extenuating circumstances?

Kotoko: I think it’s important to consider. I don’t believe it’s true that all crime is inherently evil, so obviously the situation should be taken into account.

Q.20  What do you consider “evil”?

Kotoko: The persecution of the weak and innocent.

To this,

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but for now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate.

Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself.

Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……! [TN: The word “me” here uses first person pronoun “boku”.]

Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

Yet if we all take a moment to really look at what she's said and her wording closely. How she called Mikoto a villain but says the other's existence is a crime. The way she differentiates between criminals and evil.

Mikoto (John) is a criminal because his existence itself goes against Milgram's rules. As Jackalope said during the second trial commencement notice due to Mikoto (John's) existence Mikoto has been left free and unrestrained by Milgram's rules. Making it difficult for them to fully punish him.

One could say he's aiding and abetting Mikoto the prisoner by simply being there. Which is why Kotoko refers to his existence as a crime but tells Mikoto to his face that he's a villain.

As well as why she states she doesn't think all crime is inherently evil while remaining so certain she should be forgiven. Because she believes what she did was not evil. That what she did wasn't a sin. Because it was the only way to make the world better.

She's just making the necessary sacrifices for the betterment of society in her mind that could never be a sin.

"I did kill someone, as you say. This is the one reason why I believe in the power of Milgram. But I only took a life for the sake of protecting the weak from the absolute evil. I became a shield of the weak, because I am the fangs of the weak. Even when there is someone who blames me for my actions, such as you, Es..."

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing Earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

Q.13 Do you have any regrets?

Kotoko: No.

"I don't have a single regret."

Kotoko states that the reason she believes in the power of Milgram is because she has in fact killed someone. If we consider this statement along with her admission from earlier that she believes Milgram was made by someone who finds the current way of discerning sin unsound.

Someone whose goal she believes is,

"Determining the good and evil of the truth."

Then Kotoko may believe in the power of Milgram so fully from the beginning not just because it could discern she killed someone but because it could discern she was a sinner. Something she won't even admit to herself let alone consider.

I'm not only saying this because it aligns well with my attempt to distinguish between crime and sin when it comes to Kotoko or even because if Milgram discerning she's killed someone was the only reason she believed in it then anyone with internet access and an interest in press confrences would be someone she believed in. What she did isn't a government secret or anything there are news articles on it that she's seen and shown us.

Unless Milgram discovered something that even the public doesn't know. Something that Kotoko herself doesn't even want to look at.

The thing she's been shielding her eyes from since this all started.

“UNDER” Swaying to and fro? Laughable justice-

"Laugh and I can get to like myself."

"Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion."

"I could be deluding myself with wishful thinking."

You are the-so-called "Sinner" that you despise so much.-"They’re still here, still here, it grates me."

Over the course of the series Kotoko has shown that to cope with and avoid self-reflecting she fixates on the errors of others to feel better about herself. This is pushed more to the forefront in her second trial song. However, this mindset of hers is also present within her first voice drama as well.

During that she consistently deflects and highlights issues with the others to the extent that Es has to remind her she's no different from them,

"How about it? Do you understand me as a person now?"

Can I say something?

"What is it?"

Kotoko, you are a murderer.

...

You are a prisoner of Milgram, and beyond doubt, a killer. You are the-so-called "Sinner" that you despise so much. Don't forget you yourself are in a position to be judged.

"Sigh... "A murderer". Is that so? Trying to remind me of my low position in the hierarchy of this place? Don't disappoint me. Well, maybe it doesn't matter."

Notice how she latches onto the term murderer over sinner. She knows what she did was a crime. She doesn't hesitate to admit it was murder because that's a technical term that describes the act of taking another living things life. That's fine, that's not a charcter flaw. It doesn't make her a bad or irredeemable human being.

She's not evil. A crime is a crime sure but not all crime is evil. She can still be a good person and a murderer. Because not every crime committed is a sin. Anyone who's human could understand why she felt this was the only way to move forward.

In fact,

So, you think the act of killing itself does not bear the concept of good or evil?

"Well, if you put it bluntly, it does mean that. There are times when it's your only option if you truly want to protect the weak. To hone in on the point, what I did was,

"An action taken out of necessity in order to protect the rights of myself and others in the face of an urgent and illegal crime."

You understand what that means, right?"

Criminal Law, Paragraph 36, Article 1. Justifiable Self-Defense.

"Looks like someone knows it by heart. So, in reality if my case were taken to judiciary, they too would see it as justifiable self-defense."

That is Japan's Judiciary Judgment. Me deciding whether or not to forgive you, Milgram deciding whether or not to forgive you... is a totally different matter.

I would like to take a moment to point out how Kotoko says if while knowing full and well she was taken to court for this already. Just another friendly reminder that the prisoners can lie outright, withhold information, and do whatever is within their power to make themselves look better through their voice dramas and interrogation questions.

Further emphasizing just how much Kotoko honestly believes her methods and the outcomes of them are not bad. Because was purposely vague about being taken to court in her first voice drama and continues to use incredibly subjective wording to her advantage making it even clearer what she does willfully disclose are simply beliefs she in no way believes are wrong.

Which is literally why several people in this prison over the course of trial two have made degrading remarks in regards to her sanity and intelligence.

Also, Kotoko weaponizing the legal system in this way further highlights that she is no different from the sinners she claims to despise earlier-

"Hurting the innocent through violence, taking from others, killing people... I can't stand it at all! There are too many cases of The Law being unable to deliver a verdict to sinning. Just by exploiting loopholes in the law, the sinners who have bullied and tortured the weak can still live out their lives unpunished! I want to change this world but I alone only have so much power!"

Despite saying all this earlier in her voice drama as soon as her morality is called into question by Es she falls back on the legal system that she doubts so much. To the point that Es has to remind her that the thing about Milgram she was just praising can also be used on her.

Kotoko to her own admission has never been persecuted and how she deals with Es during her trial one interrogation shows that.

Q.18 Have you ever personally been persecuted in the past?

Kotoko: I haven’t. But are you trying to say that if you haven’t had those experiences you can’t hate evildoers?

She consistently gushes over Milgram's system as though she's not at the mercy of it. Attempts to bargain with someone in a position of authority over her as though they are equals. Then reminds said authority figure of their own shortcomings to reaffirm her own necessity within this setting.

Q.17 Tell me what the merit is in working with you.

Kotoko: I will act according to your will. I can also act as your guard. Have you forgotten that you were about to die before?

Then blatantly questions if it matters whether Es disappoints her or not.

"Well, maybe it doesn't matter."

Without really elaborating on why she said that.

In contrast to her muddled feelings on Es she really only has praise to give to Milgram as a system throughout her first voice drama.

Kotoko...

"To be honest, I don't know your true intentions- And I don't know if you're a similar person to me with similar thoughts. In the end I could be deluding myself with wishful thinking. Even still, this place has multiple methods of deducing good from evil."

"To me, MILGRAM'S very nature has a kind of charm to it."

Notice how here she says the law is unable to deliver a verdict on sinning not on crime. This ties into her answer about why she began studying law those doubts/suspicions of hers. Because the law can't punish all sin.

This plays into Deep Cover a great deal too.

A lot of people got things twisted. Kotoko isn't judging crimes,

She's judging sins.

Sinners not Criminals.

Lick that sin and oppose punishment./Hate evil as the evil that it is.

This mindset of hers ties into what she says about the prisoners over the course of Deep Cover.

So let's go over them all one at a time.

“UNDER” Doltish, a codependency of the weak - “UNDER” Doltish “001 Parasite”.

Doltish

Meaning

Cambridge Dictionary: Stupid.

Merriam-Webster: As in stupid, not having or showing an ability to absorb ideas readily.

Weakness

Description quote

“I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling.”

"The word I tried to say was “You’re unfair”, and those words thought how pitiful I am." - "If I tried and couldn’t say it, you would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”." - "If only I could do what anyone else could do."

MILGRAM / Character Voice Trailer [Full Ver.]

"Then what should have I done instead?! Tell me! Tell me so even I can understand!"

But Gunsli ignorance isn't a sin. Yes you're right. Kotoko is implying that Haruka's ineptitude led to his sin.

The sin itself is in the title of Parasite.

Doltish “001 Parasite”

Haruka's sin in Kotoko's eyes is more than likely sloth. Viewing him as nothing more than a parasite that latches onto and feeds off the weak.

"A codependency of the weak."

"Parasite."

Something Milgram highlights well through his second trial glitched voice line.

"I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!!! Making you waste your life on someone like me...!!"

The series also alludes to this through his first song Weakness. Through having him constantly lament over how he wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling but he was in denial.

While having him go if only I could do the things other could over and over. Despite him repeating for all to here he wished he couldn't do those things. He wished he was a pitied and loved weakling that everyone would put their attention into.

He was in denial saying that he couldn't do it he wants to be the person that can't because that's the person who gets the most attention.

"The right future unfairly chose the wrong me."/ "If with one click, and I can reset everything- Can I be your favorite this time?"

I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling. I was in denial, I was in denial- I just had to make sure.

Isn't odd how no one has really discussed Haruka's victim staying the same size and age in contrast to him being older in his second music video. I haven't really seen people discussing that so much as trying to focus on how his victim could be related to him. I think it's a really interesting tidbit though.

As it highlights Haruka's relationship with age well. It highlights how envious he is of animals and young children simply because since they are small, weak, and assumed to be ignorant they're doted on. They're given the attention that he wants.

Milgram emphasizes this through one of Futa's second interrogation questions. Futa displays concern for Haruka because he assumes he'd be hopeless without him but in trial two he flatly states this when asked about him-

Q.02 What do you think of Haruka?

Futa: I can’t afford to be worrying about other people at the moment Anyway, he’s not a little kid.

Mikoto even highlights that he's grown into a good man when Haruka wishes him a happy birthday.

The more capable Haruka is the less likely he is to get what he wants the only reason he's become comfortable with being competent is because he has Mu to fall back on for the doting he wants. Outside of that Haruka takes the easiest path to get the attention he wants regardless of if that attention is negative or positive.

Stating he will continue killing to be their good boy while also lamenting how long he'll have to do this as if he isn't choosing to do it-

"You praised me by saying “You’re crazy.” Thank you, I’ll do my best-How many more times do I have to do this so I can be human?" - "I will keep on killing to be a good boy."

He'll do anything to be this persons good boy except literally stop doing the thing they keep reprimanding him for doing. Complaining about his circumstances but not really putting much of an effort in to change them.

Sloth is not just pure laziness.

This is why I like the depiction of Sloth in Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood the best. Because it is the practice of doing something over and over not because it yields the best results but because it is simplest.

Even if the work is hard, even if one doesn't like it, they do it because their slothful and it's the only thing they can think of doing it's the closest thing they can reach because it's what they've always done and reflecting on why that is would be far more difficult than just continuing as is.

They dig the hole deeper because the only thing they know how to do is dig and they don't want to learn anything else. Sloth is beyond laziness it is a dedication to avoiding growth in all forms and where all sin spawns from.

However the prisoners themselves are a mix of sins just like any person would be. Meaning I could see Haruka's behavior as Sloth, but some might see it as envy.

Q.20 Did you hate the person you killed?

Haruka: I wonder if I did- I was jealous of them.

Both would be just as reasonable. Because people are complex.

Let's use Yuno as an example on the surface she'd appear to be lust- Even Kotoko can see that.

“UNDER” Obscene, pulling all cords to stay warm- “UNDER” Obscene “002 Slut”

Lust: "I want to be with you as many times as I can. Just the two of us, I feel a little tingle inside. Our love links us together. Just me alone, the warmth starts fading away. Let’s reload the warmth."-“Let’s just do it, please smile? Hooked up till the morning to this sweet “Umbilical Cable” Let’s just do it, please smile?"

However she also makes statements that could lean towards sloth as well. Such as her first glitched voiceline.

"I won't be bothered......."

This is also something Kotoko's lines about her call to attention through the lyric-

"Pulling all cords to stay warm."

Implying what Yuno has shown over the course of trial two- That she will cut people off if they can no longer provide the warmth she's seeking.

"Caressing me with your “Good girl”. Who needs your self-righteous pardon? I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."- "So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear."

“Phew. Anyway!”

However, Yuno's narrative fits the moral and spiritual definition of the sin lust.

Even down to the point of bringing up adultery in her very first voice drama.

"For example, news outlets; they always make a big fuss about aldutery, inappropriate comments, immodesty, and so on right?"

"Isn't it odd? Even though you're a prison guard, you're about my age, aren't you? Or even a little younger? And then they start criticizing the people who make an appearance there. Don't you think it's all ridiculous? There's no end to how much people punish one another outside of the law."

Yuno's mindset from the beginning made it pretty clear that she wouldn't be a fan of Kotoko's mindset.

"That's right. You know those people who just want to convince themselves- So, they intrude on other people's affairs even though it's not their place? I despise them. That's what I was saying they only do that to make themselves feel better, don't they? Those people don't actually end up doing anything."

While working to foreshadow it and her own change of attitude during trial two.

Yuno...

"No matter how many chilling memories I had to go through, those people never gave me any warmth."

"Pulling all cords to stay warm."

Don't care.

"Look, look. It's impossible, isn't it? To break out into a cold sweat over a face that cute."

In the same way it would be just as easy to consider Mu Pride. Given her focus on being queen.

“UNDER” Incessant, this sorry round-robin of who’s queen- “UNDER” Incessant “004 Phony Queen”

Though there's also a bit of envy within Mu's character. More envy than pride in my opinion.

"If you want to betray from jealousy." - "Take more and more (honey) and devote to me."

"God gave me everything, everything is as I wish."

Phony Queen

But if you don't give me what you have too, then-

"You know what’s gonna happen ON YOU!"

"I’ve got EVERYTHING, everything is as I wish."

Envy is believing that when someone else receives good fortune than you're losing out-

"If I was gone, If I had just disappeared- I overheard, I found out. How much I’m not needed." - "Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up. My sorry spells must be wearing off."- "Just one more time before saying goodbye. I’m just kidding, please forget I said that."

Hence the hourglass which has been used to represent a reversal of fortune throughout Mu's songs. It doesn't matter how big or small it is if someone else is succeeding an envious person feels like they're failing. Some people going through that will do anything to feel like they're back on top again.

Incessant

Meanings

Collins Dictionary: An incessant process or activity is one that continues without stopping.

Merriam Webster: Continuing or following without interruption

Cambridge Dictionary: Never stopping, especially in an annoying or unpleasant way.

"My sorry spells must be wearing off." - "“I’m sorry” won’t reach anyone I hope it will someday." - "I don’t want tomorrow to come, I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me."

"I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?"

"I am always the drama (Phony) queen."

"The stabbing of the little devil's voice, counterattack being a suicide note- “I love YOU”."

"If you’re going to make me the villain. It’s ok to ignore me."/"Hey..why don't you listen to me...? I'm telling you... Hey...HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Now onto the glutton-

“UNDER” Doomed, a peddling flower thief - “UNDER” Doomed “005 Dissection Pawn”

"Those cards of promise I discarded. Were they retribution for my incessant taking?"

"Killing, extracting, I still won’t see them again."

"“Throw down”, someone’s value- Cannot be the same as another. “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority."

Proud, complacent in prosperity- They did not give any help to the poor and needy.

"After stabbing you with my words, the blood started to flow. And slowly stained my white. Hey, you remember what it feels like? The feeling to take away in order to give?"

"It becomes more and more diluted, it doesn’t have any flavor even if it’s chewed. If it’s not needed, I’m not interested."

“UNDER” Concealing, coveting, glass half empty or full? -“UNDER” Concealing “007 Deceiver”

Kazui come on and spell it out for them-

I don't think Star or I need to explain more than this picture with Kazui.

"Coveting"

Me: Kazui what are you doing there? Kazui: Oh, you know this old school thing called-coveting my neighbors spouse. Kotoko: ! Sin- SINNER!EVIL! Me: Oh, Kazui you- They all know you're married. You kidder! Almost had me there for a second you really did. Kazui: Ha, ha- Yeah... Kotoko: Hm... he's hiding something. Deceiver then.

"Only if your heart would change but that’s not possible."/ "Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?"

Q.08 Which do you prioritise between logic and feelings?

Kazui: I put my feelings first and it ended badly. So I don’t want to act just based on feelings again.

Q.13 Who do you want to see right now?

Kazui: They won’t see me anymore.

"I just wanted to touch, to caress. I just wanted to be touched." - "I just got a little greedy."

"What I gave up a long time ago. Why is it questioning me now?"

There's as many apples in the world as there are fish in the sea but people tend to focus the most on the ones that got away.

"So it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right? Maybe, perhaps... or... could it come true... like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that?"- "Lick that sin and oppose punishment."

Q.08 What are your parent’s occupations?

Kotoko: They’re just the normal office worker and housewife. Did you want me to be born in with some unique circumstances?

Again as Kotoko told us in trial one, she's had a normal childhood, one where she didn't have to face any persecution.

This answer serves to further highlighted this. By showing off that she not only lived in a two-parent household as brought up during her trial one written interrogation,

Q.08   Tell us your family structure.

Kotoko: Grandmother, father, mother, older brother.

Yet, it shows that her parents are probably not financially well off. Kotoko is their youngest child by her own admission. Chances are her parents spoil her a great deal. Especially considering she's going to a top university and from question nine admits to only having begun working after taking leave from university.

She also admits to have started taking martial arts classes from a young age as well something that isn't free.

Q.04  When did you start learning martial arts?

Kotoko: When I was in primary school, I think? Without enough power, justice won’t be upheld.

All this on the salary of one office worker. We have a pretty good example of how office workers are doing from Mikoto. That's some love right there from Mr.Yuzuriha. Plus, Kotoko could just decide to take a leave from school out of the blue without really being reprimanded about it to the point that she was very blunt about dropping out at the beginning of her first voice drama.

The idea that she may be a bit spoiled and used to things going her way is even displayed by how she carries herself throughout her first voice drama. Not accepting that she herself is a prisoner and consistently attempting to distinguish herself from the others.

Now I was going to say maybe she was paying for some of these things through part time work or taking student loans who are we to say.

However again question nine throws the idea of it being paid through part time work right out the window. Since Kotoko is uncertain if what she was doing even counts as a part time job or not,

Q.09 Do you have any experience working part time?

Kotoko: After taking my absence of leave from university, I did some journalism here and there, so if it counts I guess it’s a part time.

She was probably doing freelance journalism. This would explain why she's uncertain as to if it would count as part time or not because at that point she'd be deciding her own hours. This would also explain how she knew who to go to in order to get the information she needed in Harrow.

However, it wouldn't change the fact that she started doing that after taking her leave from Law School. Meaning while she was going to school, she was solely a student. We don't know Kotoko's living situation, but she was probably still receiving support from her parents during that time.

So, her father's office worker salary not only provides a home life with no concerns for financial issues, but also allows Kotoko to partake in extracurricular activities and afford to not only study but attend law school. Along with the supplements she takes on a consistent basis and all the other frivolous stuff in that basement room we see her in.

Though when it comes to the stuff in the basement she could have gotten that from the pay received for her journalism work after she took her leave from college. It would also explain why she was looking over all those articles and it also implies that she may have wrote those articles herself.

Something that further complicates her case because that would just mean she never looked for any outside information she was just working off of her own work the whole time. Along with comments on said work.

The last two questions are sort of interesting because it creates this image of Kotoko being a spoiled youngest child with doting parents and possibly an overprotective big brother. The last one is just hilarious to consider because those articles that we see her referencing and looking over in Harrow could technically just be written by her now.

Further emphasizing the fact that she just draws her own conclusions and works off of those without asking anyone else.

Whelp with that I'm finally done and caught up until her next question comes out. I guess.

[someoneintheshadow456]

I said before, now that Cait Corrain’s true self has come out, I can finally elaborate on what happened with her. To put a long story short, I was one of her very first victims - long before she became an original fiction author and back when she was known as Enterprisingly on AO3 - the author of Play to Win.

I know that #reviewbombgate was back in December, but at the time, I did not know about it because I’m not involved in BookTok. However, I WAS involved with the Reylo fandom, albeit indirectly.

The final chapters of Play to Win went on a tangent that seemed bizarre to me at the time. In fact, it seemed so strange that I brushed it off almost completely. It was only when I found Play to Win’s Wayback Machine page after recalling memories of the Reylo fandom last year when I read the chapter properly (instead of skipping ahead to get to the Reylo scenes). And a proper reading made me realize what was so unnerving about it:

Anyone who has engaged with my blog (especially from 2015-2019, when I used to post a lot more content about my personal life) can see the strangely... specific way this character was described. In order to go into this level of depth, one has to have been following me intently and keeping tabs of all the personal things I posted.

And then, she goes from eerily specific descriptions, to straight up maliciously lying about me:

Keep in mind, this screed takes up an ENTIRE chapter in itself. Said character, Ejya Fjord, is a background NPC who is mentioned a total of 121 times in a 161,000 word story. In fact, her name is mentioned so little that you could be forgiven for not remembering her at all:

You'd think, if someone would do something like this, I had to have done something terrible to her, or even just gave her a negative review. But I never did.

As you can see here, I have only engaged positively with her. Since Play to Win was also taken down and you can’t see old comments on Wayback Machine. Unfortunately after this, I can only give my word without receipts.

Play to Win was published first in 2018. I reviewed her story in March of 2018, possibly even earlier. In my review, I praised the writing, worldbuilding, and dialogues, but gave a small constructive criticism in that the politics could be better integrated into the story without feeling disjointed.

In the very early chapters, Ejya was clearly intended to be 100% Swedish - as one can tell from the name. However, at some point in the later half of the story, she retroactively became mixed race and a rival for Ben's affections, while Ben seems to be having none of it. It's clear these choices were made to portray me as some kind of horny fangirl for Kylo Ren who will stomp on other girls for his sake:

When I read the last chapter first, I was horrified. But now I'm just... bemused that someone would ever see me as some kind of calculating vixen who dresses like a Euphoria high school student and only likes masculine hobbies to pick up dudes. When in reality it took me until 2020 to be able to type the word "sex" without having heart attack and have never so much as posted a selfie on here.

It's also funny that Ejya is petite and flat chested while my actual body type is the exact opposite... which she would know since she stalked my blog so thoroughly. Almost as though she's implying something about her own insecurities...

Initially, I was under the impression that Corrain targeted me because of my association with @ainomica - due to her ruffling the Reylo fandom’s feathers (and ending up on Corrain’s hit list) over her opinions on John Boyega. However, that controversy happened in 2020. When Corrain wrote this libel about me, @ainomica wasn’t even on her radar, not to mention it was a year before we had ever even met. This libel was done to target me, and me exclusively.

In essence - Corrain weaved libel about me into her story because my existence pissed her off. We know now that Corrain had a penchant for targeting sapphic authors and WOC almost exclusively. So it's safe to say she was just being a typical white saviour liberal who shows what she actually thinks of minorities when they don't toe the line.

While this does make her less unhinged in my eyes than using me to target someone else, it still means that Corrain was, and always has been capable of aggression towards anyone she’s remotely offended by. Especially if said person happens to be a minority of some kind.

[layce2015]

John Wick Chapter 4 (John Wick x Female!Reader)

Chapter 2: The Battle Of Osaka Continental

JW 1 Masterlist

JW 2 Masterlist

JW 3 Masterlist

JW 4 Masterlist

The three of them clink their glasses together and begin to drink. "You want to die? That's your choice. A good death only comes after a good life." Shimazu said. "You and I left a good life behind a long time ago, my friend." John said and Shimazu takes a sip of his drink then looks over at them. "But what of your wife?" He asked and (y/n) looks down at the cup in her hand.

She let's out a small scoff and shakes her head. "I believe my good life was taken from me the moment I was kidnapped. It was only a few months ago but...feels like a lifetime ago. I'm not even sure...if I'm that same woman." She responded and John places his left hand on her leg. Even after she already forgiven him, he still feels responsible for everything that's happened to them. He would give anything to go back to that life, back when she was innocent and had no idea about this world.

"Father, The High Table." Akira exclaimed as she ran but stopped when she sees John and (y/n). "What are they doing here?" She asked, angrily. "Mr and Mrs Wick are our guests." Shimazu said and Akira glares at her father. "Father..." she growls. "I'll talk to them. They don't know you two are here." Shimazu said as he gets up from his chair and walks around.

"Please." Akira pleads to him as he walks up to her and she grabs his wrist. "Stay with Mr and Mrs Wick." Shizuma said and he walks away and Akira gives a pleading look to her father then turns to the couple and glares at them, like this was all of their fault.

She then looks down and shakes her head after a few moments of silence. "You and your wife have no right to be here. If they find you two here, The Table will kill my father, me, everyone because you broke the rules." Akira said then she looks up at them. "You two shouldn't have come." She said, a firm tone.

"I know my words mean nothing but...both my husband and I are very sorry. We just wanted to be left alone." (Y/n) said and Akira stares at her until a man, carrying a bow, walks up, bows then leans over to Akira.

"The hotel is being attacked." He tells her. She glares over at the couple then takes off her robes, revealing am armored body suit. "You two armed?" She asked them as she takes the bow out of the man's hand.

John and (y/n) pull out their handguns when the man is shot and killed. John and (y/n) fire a few shots as a group of armored men come up. The couple and Akira take cover and Akira nods to some nearby men and they begin to fire arrows at the men, killing two of them.

She runs out, jumps on one man, shoots him in the head with an arrow then goes to attack while John and (y/n) go and shoot a few armored men. John jumps on one man, flips him around and shoots him the head before shooting another man while (y/n) ducks from some bullets.

She gets down close the one of the armored me, wraps her legs around the man's leg and turns over, knocking the man down before shooting him in the head. They take down the remaining men before they meet up with Akira and the remaining members of her guards. "Let's go." She said. "Hai." One of the archers said and they all run towards the hotel.

Once inside, they were immediately attacked and they started shooting at the men. They make it to the escalators and one guard tried to attack John but (y/n) was able to take him down as she grabbed the man, shot him and threw him down the escalators.

John and (y/n) shot a few more men but would fight hand to hand to anyone that got close. Akira was also taking dien some men in her own as a few men in suits started to come in and fight. One big guy try to fight Akira but she was so quick he was unable to keep up and she stabbed him several times in the legs.

He tried to crawl away from her but she stabbed him in the back as she crawled up on him until he finally died. She gets off of him and walks down the steps when she was shot in her side. "Akira!" Shimazu shouts as he comes running in the room, kills a couple of men then runs to his daughter, not seeing some men coming up behind him.

But John and (y/n) make their way to him and shoot the men. "Can you stand?" Shimazu asked Akira as he places her arm around his shoulder and helps her up. He then turns to John and (y/n) as they walk up to them. 

"Get out the way you came. Go to the Umeda Station." Shimazu said. "We'll stay." John said. "Don't insult my gift to you." Shimazu said and they share a look before John nods. "And, John, do me a small courtesy. Kill as many as you can." Shimazu said as he raise a fist to John, who fist bumped him. Then John takes his wife's hand and they run as Shimazu helps his daughter to run in the opposite direction.

John and (y/n) make it to the museum area that was blinking white-blue lights and lean up against a wall. The two reload their guns then they share a look before (y/n) nods at her husband and they walk out from behind the wall and see more armed men coming and they start to shoot.

They run along the room and fire their guns at the men 'til they get into the middle of the room and just either shoot them or punch and kick at them. At one point, John ran out of bullets and threw his gun at one man and grabs at another man to pull his gun put of his hand and uses it.

(Y/n) punched and kicked at one man then used her knife bracelet to stab him in the neck. She takes his gun as he falls over and John takes another gun and shoots at the men that were on the ground, making sure they were dead.

The two started to walk when a large man in a suit grabs at (y/n) and punches her across the face, making her fall to the side. John goes to shoot at the man but he knocks the gun out of John's hand and they start to fight while (y/n) shakes her head, getting out of her daze.

The man then grabs John and tosses him against a glass case that held Nunchucks inside. John notices them and grabs them while (y/n) goes to attack the man when another suited man comes up and grabs her.

She slams the back of her head against the man's face as John gets up and hits the first man's face with the nunchucks, repeatedly. The second man that held onto (y/n) lets her go as he cups his nose and she lands on her feet, pulls out her knife bracelet and goes to stab him with it.

He does his best to block her but she was able to slice at him. Finally, she stabs him in the stomach then the chest, several times while John was able to grab a gun and shoots the guy he was fighting then the one she was fighting. (Y/n) sighs and looks to see if the dead man had a gun and takes it.

"Alright?" John asked her and she nods and they start to walk out when more gunfire sounds out. They fire back then they take cover behind some glass cases. They peak out from the edges of the cases and fire then John goes to one man and hits him in the leg with the nunchucks then his crotch.

They fight as (y/n) goes to the second man, jumps on him and swings around to get on his back. He tries to grab at her but she moves away from his hands as she stabs him in the back with several quick movements. The man yells in pain and falls to his knees before (y/n) pulls out the gun and shoots him in the back of the head.

John was able to knock his guy down and shoots him in the head as well. He places the nunchucks around his neck and (y/n) gets up and they start to walk when some armored men come in and fire at them.

John and (y/n) get behind a wall of painted glass and John takes the nunchucks off of his neck and gets into position. One of the armed men comes around, aiming his assault rifle, when John pops out and uses the nunchucks to pull the rifle out of his hand and shoots him then another guy.

The couple go around the wall and John fires through the glass at another armored man. (Y/n) hears footsteps behind her and she turns and fires her gun at them, killing one.while the second one comes up. John turns and goes to fire his rifle but found out he was out of bullets and he threw the gun at him before he goes to fight.

It seemed never ending as the couple would just punch, kick, shoot, or hit these men with nunchucks whenever they would come. But John and (y/n) were able to hold their own as they fought their way through these waves of men until finally John took down the last man then fell to his feet in exhaustion.

"John?" (Y/n) said, worried, as she kneels down next to him. "I'm fine." He whispers back to her as he takes a breath. Then she helps him up to his feet when they heard footsteps.

They look over and see an Asian man in a suit and sunglasses walking up to them, using a cane to run across the surface of the case. This was Caine. "John?" He calls out as he walks up to John, who seemed surprised to see him. "Caine." John said, a bit stunned, and Caine stops and stands a few feet in front of him.

"They gave you my name." John said, questioningly. "Yeah. And your wife's." Caine replied and (y/n) gasped, quietly, at this. "I'm sorry." John tells Caine. "Me too." Caine said before he fires his gun around and John grabs (y/n) and they run and hide.

Caine raises his cane and holds it in front of him as John and (y/n) duck down behind a wall. (Y/n) looks over to her left and sees a dead guard with a gun held in his hand. She takes it then hands it to John and he begins to look it over, seeing if it was loaded.

"You should have stayed out. For all our sakes." Caine calls out and John looks over at (y/n). "I tried." He replied and (y/n) gives him a sympathetic look. "Did you?" Caine asked as John grabs a nearby samurai sword and holds it in his left hand and the gun in his right hand.

He turns back to his wife and mouths the words stay here before he gets up. And before Caine could come around the corner, John goes to attack him with the sword but Caine was able to block it with his cane. 

The two sword fight for a bit while also firing bullets at each other, but missing. Caine then pulls off the cover of his cane, revealing a sword, and the two swing swords at each other. John then ducks from a swing then goes to hide behind another wall of glass.

While they were firing guns, (y/n) was able to get up and run for a different cover in case things got bad. She could tell by the way Caine was fighting that he was blind and she knew even if this guy was a good assassin like John, there was still a good chance she could get badly hurt...more so than usual.

She hide behind a wall of glass that is behind the one John was hiding behind. And she sticks out from the edge to show him where she was. He looks over then nods as Caine sits down behind another wall and reloads his gun. "Come on, John. Let's get this shit over with." Caine said. "Yeah." John replied, breathless. "That sounds like a good idea." He said and he reloads his gun while Caine comes out from hiding and holds his sword out, hitting a glass case, as he walks around.

"You took a deal." John said to him. "Same as you, John." Caine replied. "Family?" John asked as he gets up on his knees. "Family." Caine confirms as his foot hits a dead man and his rifle.

John peaks out from his hiding and fires at Caine. Caine grabs the rifle, runs and slides on his side and fires to where he heard the gunfire. The two men keep firing through the glass wall, not hitting the other, until the glass breaks and falls.

John was on his back, his gun aimed at Caine as Caine used his sword to feel his way around. "You dead, John?" Caine asked and John keeps quiet then looks over to his side to see a gun. He goes to reach for it but made a noise and Caine catches this. John goes to grab the gun but Caine slides across the floor and blocks him from grabbing the gun.

Caine started to get up and swing his sword but John ducks then gets behind him and grabs him but Caine flips him over on the ground, gets on top of him and starts to hold the sword to John's neck. John holds the sword back at bay then looks over to see his wife sticking her head out from her hiding place. 

She looked frighten and was about to move to him but he shakes his head at her. "John." Caine said. "Caine." John said as he struggles and (y/n) couldn't let him die so she goes to grab her gun and aim it at Caine.

But before she could fire, another gunfire shoots out and Caine jumps off of John and rolls away. John then gets up and runs as a man fires at Caine. John goes over to (y/n), takes her hand and they run out of the room.

They make their way outside when a few guards shoots at them and they fire back. Another suited man comes up and John fights him until he was able to knock him down and shoots him in the head. He then noticed a pin with a crest on his jacket and he takes it then pockets it.

Before (y/n) could speak, they hear a small branch breaking and the couple turn to aim their gun when a couple of guards come up. But then a dog comes up and attacks one man while the second man was shot in the head.

Then this African American man comes up while John and (y/n) aim their guns at him. "Damn, Johnny. This is quite the mess you and your woman made." He said as John stands up. "I don't know you." John said, confused. "But I know you." The man, Mr Nobody, said and he aims his gun at John.

"You a tracker?" John asked and Mr Nobody holds up his phone. "How much?" John asked. "Not enough." Mr Nobody replied as he shuts his phone and pockets it. "But it's gettin' there." Mr Nobody said as he lowers his gun.

Then a suited man comes up behind John and (y/n) but Mr Nobody shoots him, killing him. "I need you to take better care of yourself and your wife, John." Mr Nobody said as he holsters his gun. "Cause we're in this together now." He said and John stares at him then he lowers his right hand and reached out for his wife's hand, his left hand holding the gun.

She lowers her left hand, her right hand holding her gun, and they hold hands then back up before lowering their guns and run off into the woods, hand in hand.

[mayimkjs]

Mikoto's Notable T2 Timeline Convos (EN Ver)

Taken from the FOOL's MATE research doc

T1 EN

T1 JP

T2 EN

T2 JP

1) 2022/10/06, Mikoto's birthday

Sakurai Haruka Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……? Kayano Mikoto Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……? Sakurai Haruka Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you.  I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly…… Kayano Mikoto Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself…… haha. Kayano Mikoto Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

Mikoto has cast himself away.

His relationship with Haruka is completely different as he's now scared of Mikoto.

Mikoto is understanding of his fear and thinks Haruka is in the right.

He has no idea what's been going on and thanks Haruka for the birthday wishes.

2) 2022/12/15, Kotoko's birthday

Kayano Mikoto Ah, Koto-chan. It's been a while. We were isolated for some time but, how are you doing? Lots of things happened, but for now let's get along. Here, it's your birthday right? I figured that no one would come celebrate it for you, so I came to wish you a happy birthday. Yuzuriha Kotoko ...What a carefree person you are.  Someone as atrocious as you won't be forgiven next time too, surely.  When that time comes, it'll be your last. Next time, I'll kill you. Kayano John Haah? Why don't you try it then, you lunatic.  I'll crush anyone who tries to harm me....  I'll make sure to thoroughly beat you at your own game...!! Yuzuriha Kotoko Hmph. The boundaries have gotten more blurred, it seems.  Your existence itself is a crime. I will give you your punishment.  This is MILGRAM's, Es', and also my own decision.

Mikoto and Kotoko were separated for some time. He still wants to get along with everyone and wishes her a happy birthday.

Kotoko then threatens Mikoto

John fronts and threatens her back.

3) 2023/10/06, Mikoto's birthday

Kayano Mikoto Is it true… There’s really another me? These tattered clothes, and scaring everyone, it’s all because of him.  They say I'm a murderer... Isn't it unreasonable to expect me to believe that? Kayano Mikoto Can you hear me talking like this?  If you can hear me, then answer me.  Why are you doing such horrible things? Hey. It's your fault things have become like this. ……Answer me!! Kayano John Ah, ahhh!! Because, I did it for your sake...!  Because you would break apart!! Kayano Mikoto - - What am I doing...?  There's no way you'll conveniently give me an answer. I should just stop thinking about everything already...I'm tired......

Mikoto has completely isolated himself at this point.

He’s trying to communicate with John but is unsuccessful. Even though John responds, Mikoto can’t hear him.

4) 2024/08/05, Kazui's Birthday

Kayano Mikoto Well, you know... I appreciate your feelings, but... I don't know what I might do, even I'm not sure myself. So I think it's best if we're not together for a while. Besides... haha, aren't you scared, Kazu-san? Mukuhara Kazui Hmm, due to my job, I'm used to dealing with troubles youth. You must have your reasons. I don't feel like prying. Well, come over if you feel like it. Staying alone all the time will make you feel down. I can keep you company if you need to relieve some stress. Kayano Mikoto Yeah... I'm not really used to relying on others, you know. How should I put it, I feel like I'm being a bother. I can't bear that feeling of being pathetic... I guess I'm being very Japanese about this, haha... Mukuhara Kazui Hmm... well, that's fine. If that's easier for you, I won't force you. But you know, people in their 20s are still kids. It's admirable that you're hard on yourself, but I think it's okay to cause a bit of trouble for others. After all, I'm nearly 40 and I'm still a kid at heart.

He’s starting to confide in others more.

He still thinks he’s a monster and that other’s shouldn’t be near him. 

Kazui is offering to help Mikoto out by listening to him when he needs it.

He’s admitting that he has a problem about bothering others.

[shallowseeker]

I don't really agree with your demon dean takes but i find them interesting

K. Much of this is just my lens and experience, you know? My beloved brain-addled Gramps grabbed my ass one day from his hospital bed. Was that his "true self?"

Basically, I don't buy into the whole, "release your inhibitions" wholesale. Inhibitions taken to extremes can be bad, sure, like how they are rigidly enforced with angels. On the flipside, I don't think disinhibition is automatically "good" or "your super-duper secret true self." Inhibitions are actually a key component of decision-making and free will.

I don't actually disagree with other takes on Demon Dean. I let most of them co-exist in my head. They're fun. A) I just see this particular take less often, and I like it. B) It gives me a shit-ton of mileage in filtering the side stories of the season:

DEAN HATED BEING A DEMON

Dean talks about how he hated becoming a demon, and he asks Cas to kill him if he goes darkside again.

As a demon, Dean doesn't actually act like himself; he mistreats the girl he sleeps with, which is not his MO at all.

He sings badly, and the Dean we know is into music even since Robin and sings quite well.

He's not his full integrated self, he's often disinhibited, bitter, and numb.

It's a callback to his original trauma in Hell, "being carved into a new animal." Hell, it's an odious nod to Alastair.

There are glimmers of his soul fighting to get out. Moments of lucidity, you might say.

He thanks Cas for, "stepping in when you did." Another callback to Dean's original Hell rescue.

via @silver-stake-through-the-heart - he didn’t care about Baby! “She was just a car.” Dean didn’t care about Baby or himself. He became an animal with no interiority that requires no tenderness, like “just a dumb car.”

LOSS OF CONTROL; DISORGANIZED PSYCHOLOGY

During season 10, Dean has recurring nightmares about the loss of control.

...because he hated being a demon beholden to instinct, sundered from his own emotions. (It's a parallel to Naomi's super-soldier-Cas.)

That's what killing the human traffickers was really about; if Dean had lined them up and executed them under his own free will with full faculties, it wouldn't have bothered anyone.

Like when Mary views Jack's torture-kill in season 14, it's about the "kill signature." And well, the loss of control does have some research to back it up when it comes to assessing a worsening disorganized psychology. Mary is a lifelong hunter and would be hip to recognizing the signs of a hunter losing himself/losing touch with reality.

As much as I love to joke about Dean trying to crack Sam's skull open with a hammer, that's not what Dean really wants. In this scene, he becomes a specter of Lucifer/Nick Vaught (a former mark bearer; known for his volatility and impulse issues).

PIMPS & PROSTITUTES & ROOFIES

Randy/Claire/Salinger-the-human-trafficker is parallel to Crowley/Dean/Cain-the-father-of-murder.

Claire loves Randy as Dean loves Crowley: he seemed kind and like he was giving Dean new purpose & support...at first. Randy showed remorse after he threw Claire to the wolves. He still "loved" Claire, probably. Same with Crowley. (Horribly, I'm 99% sure Claire would have forgiven Randy, too, eventually.)

Like how Claire forgave Cas, ofc. Claire will take any scrap of affection. Literally, the way past her defenses is just to give a damn, no matter what else has happened.

Raoul-the-pimp-soul-collector-that-Rowena-kills & Shaylene-the-prostitute is definitely a parallel to Crowley & Dean, right down to the brutal capitalism of Hell's soul deals.

Dean's story about John "saving" him from what is surely a close encounter with being roofied is a nod to Dean's sexual abuse as a minor, even though Dean plays it off as sexy, fun, and cool. Part of me thinks John actually walked in on a drugged-up-teen-Dean being statutory-raped by a bunch of adults. Or at the very least, sexually assaulted.

He feels like John set him up to be vulnerable and then turned around and shamed him harshly for becoming damaged goods.

SHAME & SUICIDE

This is why there's this constant swirl of SHAME and SUICIDE with regard to Dean's time as Demon Dean and becoming a knight of Hell through the Mark of Cain.

Dean even emphasizes some of the friendly, cute moments. It's the same way he retells the bar story as being Super Cool. Even Sam thinks his retelling of CBGB is a heartwarming tale. A lighthearted “summer of love,” if you will. Sam doesn’t get it. He never will.

DEAN: Somehow, we convince him to let us go. So, we all go. We all, you know, see all the sights, and uh, ride the subway, eat too much pizza. The whole nine. Well, by about midnight, Sam and Dad are zonked, and I figure… Screw it. I’m going to CBGB. All right, so I get there. I sneak in, and it is nuts. I mean, people are drinking and they’re smoking and they’re—they’re snorting whatever. There’s a five-hundred pound guy on stage with a Mohawk just screaming. And, uh, my mind is blown. I don’t even know what to do. Then this girls walks up and she says “Hey, why don’t you come over and sit down with me and my friends at our table?” All right! SAM: Yeah, and they get him drunk. First time. DEAN: But not fun drunk. I’m not quite sure what was in that stuff, but the room starts to spin, and I feel like I’m going to puke … forever. And right about that time, I hear him. “Dean Winchester!” ...My old man. I don’t know how, but he found me. And now I’m really freaking out, because he’s just standing there, not saying anything. I look around, and everybody else is freaking out, too. In fact, nobody’s even looking him in the eye. And finally, this one guy with, like, a safety pin through his nose and a—a “Kill Everything” tattoo looks up and he says, “Sorry, sir.”

So yeah, Demon Dean wasn't a positive experience on the whole, even though he, parallel to Claire, pretty much forgives everyone about it. She, too, is a heart character.

He only reveals how much he hated it...to Cas, really.

DISINHIBITION (REDUX)

This disinhibition of the mark rears its head again when Dean visits the college campus and makes comments about the girls there. That's not an accident of writing; it's a neon sign for how demon Dean and MoC!Dean acts, and why.

That's not in line with the Dean we've known in seasons prior OR after. It's simply...inappropriate disinhibition. Like a frontotemporal injury. Not the true self.

Dean beats on people as revenge for how he was wronged, too. If you look closely, he beats on Cas in a very similar way to how Cas beat on him in seasons 5 & 8.

Much of his behavior is an outpouring of those times Dean felt powerless in his life.

SLUTS, VALIDATION & VICTIMIZATION

Then, we have Mr. McKinley and the "slut daughter," Rose.

Dean says, "And you know what? I don't blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her."

Dean is finally unleashing his anger about what happened to him re: Cain and re: the CBGB incident.

For all his talk of "making Claire tougher," he's looking at how vulnerable he was, and he's finally starting to process the magnitude of that.

This is probably why he's not acting as outlandishly sexual in the later seasons, as much as I'd like to put it down to Cas's presence (Cas's presence is certainly meaningful).

But actually, it's that Dean processed why he acted in a certain way, and he's reflected on how it actually made him feel. (His protective locker room talk, of course, remains.)

CAS AS WHAT DEAN WISHED FOR FROM JOHN

That Cas gives Claire up to a healthier, safer life is what Dean wishes John would've done for him...left him with Sunny, perhaps.

Cas wants to keep Claire, because he loves her, but he can't repair the damage he did to her life.

Giving her up to Jody was the best thing. He's not equipped to care for Claire, like how John wasn't equipped to care for Sam or Dean.

Dean wishes John had been like Cas, and apologized, even though the situation was damn-near unfixable. He wishes John had tried to make amends anyway.

So when I say I get a lot of mileage, it's simply this. I get a lot of mileage. It's a fun lens for me, personally. And before you bring it up, yes, I do see the drug addiction parallels; I see addiction as quite complicated stuff.

I also think that Crowley is legitimately integrating his own humanity and catching feelings, but it doesn't erase the core of the whole situation. Crowley is also dealing with the events that led him to become a demon in the first place. He was abandoned, he drank too much in order to cope with an "unsuccessful" life, and he was tricked by a demon in a back alley who played on his dick insecurities.

He is like Metatron was to Cas. He saw that Dean was vulnerable, and he orchestrated a situation as a means to gain power in Hell. Ruby did this, too, with Sam. She had an agenda to get him corrupted and served on a silver platter to Lucifer. Demons do what demons do. It's not a judgment on my part so much as an observation.

I do think that, over time, it's shown that regular demons do have the capacity to get a better hold on their instincts, make connections, and can even remember how to love (SEE: Meg). The Mark was just...a much harder situation. Makes you reconsider Cain and Lucifer's plight a little bit, mmm?

[heranubis]

dullahans first serious cod fic? more likely than you think. originally started this after a bad night of missing my brother and decided to cope writing price. turns out i don't hate this so i decided to polish it up and post it.

major trigger warnings for: referenced sibling death (non graphic but relevant to fic), vaguely accurate angels

UNTIL THE AIR GOES QUIET: archangel john price r/insert (non descriptive) - 1.4k word count

Ever since you were a child, you would talk to angels. Your grandmother would say you had a gift, speaking to God’s children. But that’s not how you saw it. This was a curse. You see them beyond their vessels, not just people but with the changing heads of animals with too many tongues and too sharp teeth. They always smile at you but it feels more a threat than anything gentle or kind. The angels scare you – they know that, yet still they remain. It only gets worse when you lose your brother.

They wear his face sometimes. His red hair and brown eyes. You sit down with your dead brother for dinner again. It’s the last dream you ever want to have. And there’s a new angel – one who smells of blood and iron and his face weathered. He visits you the most often, says his name is John – privately, you call him Judas. He sits with you and your brother, his wings folded against his back, looking deceptively small as he simply sits and observes. He makes you uncomfortable with how much he sees and little he says, but he is always there. John is your new constant, even when the dreams with your brother stop. John is your only constant now; the others seem afraid of him – and part of you can’t help but wonder why.

You don’t dream anymore, but he keeps guard. No nightmare dares get close when John stands guard over your bed with his wings bound tight and arms folded over his chest. He stands tall and proud, every bit of the soldier he was created to be. “They won’t hurt you,” he says, his voice is scratchy, like he hasn’t had to use it in a long time. “I won’t let them close. Sleep as long as you need to.” And you do – for several days and as many nights, you sleep undisturbed. John never removes from his position of guard.

    -

    Something has changed with this angel – when you look at him you no longer see the heads of bears, wolves, and boars; you simply see a man. His eyes are tired and blue and he smiles so gently at you, as if anything sharper and you will break. He looks at you like he cares, like he wants good and gentle things for you. One day, you work up the bravery to ask why. “Grief is love with no place to go” he says and there is a sadness, a sense of knowing in his eyes. “As you are, once I was” are the last words your angel speaks.

His vow of silence lasts many years – he remains in your shadow, but he does not speak again. He kneels with you, when you pray for your brother, but his lips do not move nor does he fold his hands or close his eyes. There is an anger there, something that bubbles beneath the surface, waiting for eruption. The other angels speak to you again – tell you of John’s punishment. You pray for his absolution – for his sins to be forgiven and his tongue freed of its burden. Not for the first time, your prayers go unanswered.

You don’t believe in god anymore – you like to believe she loved you, once upon a time. What is a mother's love if not giving away her most faithful son and sending him to guard the sheep who has lost its flock. What mother is more worshipped than the one who carves the staff that keeps wolves at bay. What mother turns her back on the creations she crafted with such tenderness that you have both a heart to break and ribs to crack. God tells you he is forgiven – and then she splits you open.

The angels say they love you, but they look upon you with eyes of scorn and judgement. Your back has never born wings, yet the scars remain between your shoulder blades. You have taken John’s punishment as your own, and he speaks to you when not another soul is around to hear. “Never tell anyone,” he whispers in the dead of night – his lips to your ear and all you can feel is how his beard scratches against your skin, how rough and soothing it is. “Try and remember that. Never tell anyone anything, ever again.”

You take his words to your very soul – you will never tell anyone of the way your angel looks at you. You do not repeat his secrets – they are yours now, and they will die with you. He tells you one night, as he holds you close to his chest. “Look hard at my wings. There will be no more after me.” And you do – you memorize every feather even as they bleed and meld with his skin and muscle. That is truly the final night you dream, and it is the one that scares you most.

You see god’s face – except there is no face. She is everything and nothing, beautiful and horrible and god. “Your life was never meant to be punishment,” she tells you. “Those are not your scars to carry, sweet one.” You cannot see her eyes, but you can feel as they stare deeply into you, everything you have been or will be. “You are hiding” she says, the silence from before long and heavy and gone. “Why”

“To hide the fact that it’s me.” you finally say – and your voice is not fully your own. John is there, in your shadow, as he always is. You can feel his stare on you, feel his wings as they wrap around you like a shield from her gaze. “To make up for the fact I want to run away, but instead I sit very still. Because I’m afraid.” His wings are hiding you completely now, his face cradled in the crook of your neck and arms wrapped tightly around you, as if afraid you’ll disappear the second he lets go. Your next words are to the man behind you – and you know he knows. “I love you, I don’t know if you like me. I want you to.”

“My child – your angel loves you. He has loved you in every life, and it is his purpose of creation to find you, to covet and adore – but he cannot keep you. Your angel loves you. Let your heart be uncomfortable with that until you find healing.”

That night is the last time you hear god speak – it is the first time your eyes open to John wrapped around you. His wings are curled around you like a shell, a barrier from the outside world. He loves you – that is his punishment. You want to be yourself again, you want to stop knowing everything that you know. He opens those hauntingly blue eyes, and you only see the face of a man. “We are made to serve,” he whispers. His voice is as gentle as his touch as he buries his face (his shame) between the scars on your back. “I hope you want more for us, too.”

  -

  You don’t hear the angels anymore. You were merciful, and now all will know of you – that's what John says to fill the silence. Your kindness does not save you from the sin of loving that which is forbidden, but it earns you sympathy, affection. He tells you of the whispers, things that will never reach your ears. You are young and learning how to live, so they will watch over you just as John has.

They will keep you safe, they will love you as one of their own. But mainly they say it’s ok that you loved John. He is big and old and scarred, they said he would be loved. They say it cannot be a mistake to have loved, it cannot be an error to have tried. it cannot be incorrect to have tried.

There is only one more thing they say before all is silent except for John’s snores beside you – he loves you. Your brother, who has seen your angel in the dreams and given him his blessing. Your brother, who knows he leaves you in good and gentle hands. Your brother, who knows your angel who has forsaken his wings to live with you in this life. Your brother, who has denied this love it’s inevitable tragedy.

There is no one left to love you, so John will love you.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello again!

Okay I'm just here for a chat (if thats okay) (i think you're lovely!)

There are some stuff about the show that really bother me you know... First of all in season 4 What Happens to John Watson.. like he is simply characterized by loyalty right it is who he is, then HOW does he cheat on Mary?! (Okay granted that his heart was elsewhere... ahem. But he's just not someone who would cheat)

Also i think Mary shouldn't be a villain... i know she possibly looks like it messes up Johnlock but i think its the opposite actually. I think John is bisexual and his love for her was real but she was basically a Sherlock substitute who looked like him (John)! Plus, she was there when he was at rock bottom so. But what doesn't make sense is her shooting Sherlock in the chest?! What's up with that!

Okay but the Weirdest part is in the last episode when Sherlock has to choose between John and Mycroft and finally choses to shoot himself... BOTH John and Mycroft do Nothing?? HOW

AAAAA the Last Season was SO much angst.. i think this fandom saved me <3

In my head It was love at first sight... and then slowly falling head over heels crazy in love with your best friend and all of it culminating in the most beautiful TV Romance.

(okay im sorry i think i ranted a bit)

Hi Lovely!

Inbox is always open for a chat (even if it takes me a long time to get to it, LOL), so no worries!

Let's address each of you things one by one:

What HAPPENS to John Watson – Your guess is as good as mine, Lovely, and it's a lot of the reason a lot of us can't take S4 seriously. It feels so OOC for John to cheat on Mary with ANY other woman, other than Sherlock (hence it being part of the Alibi theory, this part of it referencing SHERLOCK as being the one John is actually texting in the night), so many of us just don't think that S4 is what it appears to be on the surface. Of course, it could all just be a coping mechanism to deal with how dirty a beloved series did it's fandom, but we take what we can get, honestly.

As for villain Mary, I have to respectfully disagree, only because I believe that I think they were setting her up in S3 to BE a kickass antagonist for S4. Amanda ALSO thought they were going that route for a bit until (my speculation) things went sour with MF, AND they built up her character as a psychopath imho. Then they made her character attempt a piss-poor redemption arc that just... really soiled S4 for me because I firmly believe that John would have NEVER forgiven Mary for trying to kill Sherlock after seeing what it did to him the first time.

But to your point: John is bisexual, yes, but I don't think he's biromantic. I think he's homoromantic, and it's VERY played up in the series that this is the case: his blasé attitude about ALL his girlfriends, but pouncing around the close men in his life like a puppy? Heck, if Lestrade was single, I have NO doubt John would have taken his chances with him too, LOL. John is horny. That's literally the gist of it. He likes sex, he doesn't care what hole it goes in, just as long as he gets it. But I do think he forms VERY strong attachments to men in his life, and in turn he gets hurt, so he pretends he's not into men because it's "just easier" (you can read more posts about my and others' thoughts on John's sexuality here). He was with Mary because he was lonely, and Mary played him like a fiddle. She knew what John liked, and played that up. I believe it's even explicitly stated she knows what John likes. They only knew each other 6 months, CONVENIENTLY just before Sherlock was on his way back? Even ANDERSON picked up on Sherlock making his way back to London. I believe she was a Moriarty plant to see if John knew Sherlock was for-real dead, and she herself enjoyed the game and stealing and keeping John for herself away from Sherlock was part of that game upon the return. So yeah, I really have a hard time believing she OR John actually loved each other. I dunno, again, personal biases and readings of the series, apologies, LOL. I spent a LOT of time analysing Mary's character arc. But I WANTED her to be the big bad for S4, and it just... fizzled and died.

And finally, on your point about the weirdness of John nor Mycroft opting to stop Sherlock, yeah, have to agree with you there. TFP was a goddamned clustereff of WTF moments and mischaracterizations of literally every character on-screen. The only character NOT in character was Eurus and that's literally because they didn't know what to fucking do with her. TFP was so dumb. I have a hard time believing any of it actually happened the way it did on-screen. But yeah, S4 was a big disappointment for everyone including the actors. I think they only people who thought it was great was Mofftiss and that's because they love the smell of their own farts. I can't believe that they GENUINELY thought TFP was going to be Emmy-worthy (for those unaware, they initially planned to nominate TFP for the Emmy, and instead chose TLD, I believe, after the poor reception of TFP, and acted like they were always going to nominate TLD lol).

Anyway, yeah, it was full of angst, though my reasons for it are probably different than everyone else's, LOL. But the fandom IS fantastic, and that's why we stay here, and why I choose now to curate fandom content. Makes me happy, and keeps me out of drama, LOL.

Thank you so much for giving ME the opportunity to chat and rant! It's been so long since I've done mini meta, and posted my thoughts about everything. I like chatting.

Hope you're having a wonderful day, and sorry again for the delay! <3