#gets (1) act of selfless kindness = immediately breaks down crying

[star-mum]

My friend texted me offering to format these assignment we have due tomorrow literally right as I was super overwhelmed about life in general, so now I'm crying

[solomonish]

selfless (to a fault?) [demon brothers]

CW: allusions to past toxic relationships. minor description of injury in beel’s. belphie’s is a bit sad (happy ending! just melancholic vibes) and alludes to chapter 16.

no problem nonnie! i hope this is to your liking <3

nowdateables: here!

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Lucifer

Honestly, he'd be a tough one to get to allow you to do anything for him. You know, the whole avatar of pride thing….and he also just generally has a habit of holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. He thinks - no, he knows he can handle everything on his own

If he's letting you in enough to help him - not only trusting you enough to think the tasks he delegates to you will be done to his liking, but allowing you to help and opening up the possibility that he might be risking his image of perfection - he can only expect you'll let him do the same for you. It's like your own special love language, right?

He does NOT like how jumpy you are about the subject. At first, he's miffed. Do you not think he can do the task to your liking? Has he given off the false impression that he cannot take any more work than he already has? Was your offer to help not based on affection, but pity??? It really ruffles his feathers.

He's the type to confront you head-on. At first, his voice is harsh because he's talked himself into thinking you've offended him, but when you start backing away and trying to dodge the conversation, apologies falling from your mouth about how the last thing you wanted to do was upset him, he softens. He doesn’t understand yet, but something is upsetting you and he intends to get to the bottom of it.

Not one who would pester you about opening up to him, but the sooner you do, the more of a show of good faith it is. He’ll trust your word entirely regardless, but it does a lot to soothe the upset of his own creation if you come back to explain sooner rather than later. After all, being vulnerable is perhaps Lucifer’s greatest show of love - it does not go unnoticed when you do the same.

Doing his best to talk through a solution is act of kindness #1 - and it helps you adjust a little since you worked with him rather than completely handed him the reins. He starts off his own plan to help you out by bringing in things he was already going to do for himself - offering you coffee when he gets his own, for example. He uses the fact that you’d feel bad for refusing against you for a little bit, but he means well!

You might notice him going softer on you for just a little bit - don’t say anything about it. He’s worried that he gave off the impression of using things against you because of how much of a disciplinarian he is. Besides, the two of you normally don’t get into arguments (he doesn’t have the time to let things simmer - if he’s that upset about something, he’ll try to address it immediately), so he doesn’t really know how else to change his behavior. He just hopes that allowing you the opportunity to open up to him again, should you need it, will alleviate the feeling that he’d ever use your kindness against you.

Mammon

The first time you stiffened up after he tried to help you, he thought you were crazy. Lucifer had just given you a punishment for one of his schemes that you took the fall for (and he still isn’t sure why Lucifer let you take the fall when it was obviously Not You), and you insisted that you could do it by yourself! He wasn’t too keen on cleaning every window in the House of Lamentation himself, so he left soon after placing the offer, but his time was spent mindlessly wondering about you.

The next time was shortly after, when you came into his room and crashed on his bed. He offered you a hand massage, although he did it in a very muttered voice with dark cheeks - and you said no again! Forget being offended that the romantic hand-holding idea he totally didn’t get from a magazine he was reading waiting for you (that would’ve somehow ended in disaster anyway) wouldn’t play out - he was getting worried.

He doesn’t bring anything up immediately, but he worries about you and watches you intently. Sometimes you’ll catch him staring at you, and he flips out when you ask him what’s up. The only clue Mammon gathers is that you don’t seem to be angry with him, so what’s up? He’s used to his backwards advances working against him, but he’s making a genuine effort here!

He finally gets pent up in his frustration and asks you head-on. Mammon isn’t known for his tact - “Oi, why won’t you just let me take over once in a while? Cut yerself a break, MC!” - but there’s a certain...desperate tinge to his voice that makes you realize he really does care (and is driving himself crazy trying to figure things out on his own). When you DO finally tell him, he sort of deflates and his voice goes to that softer, more genuine tone.

“H-hey, I would never do that kind of thing to ya…” He starts shuffling in place, kicking at rocks (if there are any) and you realize he kinda looks like a kid. “You do so much for everyone, and it makes me feel real good inside. I just wanna make you feel that, too. Besides, we don’t need TWO cranky workaholics in the house. Lucifer is plenty.”

He knows one moment of honesty isn’t going to fix your entire way of thinking, but he goes right back to his blatant offers after that. Maybe if he desensitizes you to it, you’ll feel less weird about accepting his help! It doesn’t work, so he shifts to little things. Catch him running across classrooms as soon as you’re dismissed so he can grab your textbooks to carry for you off the desk before you can. 

Once he realizes you’re more receptive to him helping you, he’s ready to breathe a sigh of relief and be annoying about it again. Generosity doesn’t come easy to him, okay? Besides, he’s The Great Mammon! You should’ve known he’d be better than any other guy you’ve been with!

Leviathan

Of COURSE you wouldn’t want someone like him to help you out. He’d probably mess it up, anyway…

Seriously, Leviathan is very sensitive to rejection, so the moment you politely decline any offers to help he backs up about a thousand miles and sulks when you’re not around. It’s hard for him to get out of his own head, and he’s so ready for you to just tell him what everybody else is thinking and how much he sucks…

It dawns on him, though, that you never gave up on him when he pushed you away. It’s totally not poggers sucky of him to just give up on you like that. You’re his henry! You’re his s/o! He’s totally ready to fight any boss for you!! …..after he levels up a little more.

Levi spends a TON of time looking up ways to talk to you, one-on-one. He isn’t good with emotions like this but he is capable of them and having deep, serious talks. It shouldn’t MATTER that his research material is a bunch of feel-good romance anime scenes that he based his most recent Top 10 OTPs of the season post on! 

Surprisingly enough, he brings it up relatively smoothly one night when you’re chilling in his room and he’s playing some relaxing simulator. You’re complaining about the things you have to do in the morning, and when there’s a lull in your conversation Leviathan turns and tentatively asks, “Hey...why don’t you try letting me help you out?” He can feel your refusal before it comes so he hurriedly adds “Please! I just- you stress yourself out so much and what good am I if I can’t even help you at all?”

Is it his impassioned plea for you to let him in? Is it his willingness to obviously step out of his comfort zone? Have your walls just conveniently crumbled at this moment? Whatever it is, you don’t have it in you to reject him when he���s so open about wanting to help you (and the pain it’s caused him not to). Either way, you sigh and give him a few, small tasks that you think you both could manage him having and he swears to do them well!!

Truly opening up to him about the reason why you were so hesitant on letting him help takes a while, and he doesn’t exactly pick up on it himself. Once you do tell him, though, in your journey to help yourself let him in, he holds you a little tighter and mumbles that he’ll never do that to you. Levi knows better than anyone that words can only mean so much, but he’s grateful for the chance to prove it to you. He won’t let his Henry down!

Satan

Satan is perceptive, and he knows how to talk about emotions. He might even have suspicious about the root cause before you even think about letting him know what’s up. He’s already started doing a few things for you - carrying each other’s books, for example. Small acts of kindness to get the both of you through the day.

However, one thing Satan isn’t good with…..is dealing with emotions head-on.

He spends so much time keeping his own under lock and key! After doing his best to keep the most calm, analytical front he can, Satan tends to uh….forget about the emotional part of emotions.

So. When he asks why you won’t let him reciprocate in the relationship, attempting to display that he just wants the two of you to be on equal ground and he is worried about you, he sort of comes off...as cold. And like he’s accusing you of feeling a certain way. He definitely presents it as “I’ve noticed you feel x and i think y would be helpful for us to fix it” rather than “how are you feeling? What is causing you trouble? How can i offer assistance in a way that translates well to you?” And if that doesn’t bring back some memories…

He feels awful, and at the end of it all you’re crying (or presenting your stress and bad memories however you normally do) and he still doesn’t know how to fix things. Counterintuitively, he looks through his books for an answer, and it takes him a few days to realize that’s what got him into this mess.

So he goes to you directly and, albeit a little clumsily, apologizes and asks what he can do to help you through this. You say that’s just the problem - you don’t want his help - and he sits next to you and just asks why? The two of you wind up talking for hours, sitting next to each other and just...really talking. You aren’t the only one feeling vulnerable - Satan is talking about his emotions full-on rather than through a scientific lens and it makes him just as nervous as you are.

Satan doesn’t get into arguments with you. He runs from the possibility because he’s worried about what his wrath could do to you. But he promises you that he could never hold anything against you, especially something like asking him for help. It’s an honor that you let him this close, and he can only return the favor in kind. He hopes you have enough faith to believe in him until he has the opportunity to prove it beyond a doubt.

Asmodeus

Asmo does things for people without asking. He gives unsolicited makeup and relationship advice, he offers to touch-up any products you may have on, he lends you clothes just because he felt like he should…

The thing is, Asmo will start before you even have a chance to ask him to stop. He’ll start before you’re even wondering if you like him. And at first, you’re ok with it. Well, you’re not, but you can decide he’s just testing the waters or that this is some weird demon way to earn your friendship or tell you he considers you a friendly presence, like cats. But it still rubs you the wrong way.

However, Asmo always notices that you...aren’t receiving it the way he wants you to. He invites you out and leaves you an outfit on your bed, and you come out wearing something entirely different. He leaves you a bouquet of flowers, and suddenly the dining room has a new bouquet in the center of it. (and you always avoid his gaze during those dinners, which is totally weird.) It’s almost like you’ve recognized the face he makes when he’s about to touch up your makeup, because you pull out a pocket mirror and check yourself over before he even has a chance to!

Are you leading him on? He doesn’t think so, but you are quite literally the only person he can’t literally charm the pants off of, and he isn’t quite sure how to navigate the signals you’re giving him. You seem fine with the relationship - it felt pretty genuine to him, and you looked thrilled when he made the romantic moves on you - so what was going on?

He finally caves and asks when he’s going through your wardrobe, sifting through it with you on the bed to make room for a shopping spree the two of you had been planning, and sees all the outfits he’d bought you hanging, still in their outfit bags. Some of the bags even had DUST on them!

He turns around and puts on a gentle voice. Though Asmo doesn’t know what’s happening, he can feel the air in the room shift and he knows he’s encroaching on some sensitive territory. “Hey, do you not like when I give you gifts? I haven’t been able to understand what’s been bothering you, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

He does NOT like the way you turn your face away from him, but he sits a respectable distance away and keeps his hands in his lap. Asmo is as good at genuine advice as he is at gossip, so it isn’t hard for him to get you comfortable enough to open up to him. You don’t have to tell him everything at once - he’ll listen to whatever you’re willing to tell him, letting you lean against him when you’re ready.

Asmo is known for being petty, but you bring out sides of him nobody knew were there. He’ll swear up and down that he’d never turn your good heart against you - after all, it’s one of the many things he loves about you - but he does understand where you’d get that impression. If you’ll let him prove it to you, he will - and he’ll start by only pestering you to let him buy one outfit for you on that shopping spree!

Beelzebub

Listen. Beel is a generous soul (for a demon) ((to those he really loves)). He just doesn’t ever really find himself in possession of anything worth sharing. Really, the only thing he is ever in the possession of is food. When he isn’t at his sports practice, working out or studying, he’s eating, and he’ll gladly share his food with you.

Oh? You don’t want it? He gives you a confused look - he’d ask if you were feeling well if he hadn’t eaten lunch with you just an hour before - but shrugs, his growling stomach winning over his concern. It’s not like you’re skipping meals, anyway. It isn’t until you get hurt helping him work out and refuse to let him pick you up to carry you to medical attention that he gets VERY concerned.

He feels awful enough as is. It was his fault you were even there - he just wanted to add more weight to his workout. (And, he won’t admit it, the idea of using a bench you were sitting on to lift over his head may have been a bit overkill. But he saw that little spark that said ‘that isn’t possible but man i wish it was’ when you saw it happen in that show and mmmmmmaybe he wanted to impress you. How was he supposed to know Mammon had broken it and left it there?) He could practically feel the pain in your ankle from the sound it made, and you were clutching desperately to your shin, wanting to press on the wound but knowing it was a bad idea. MC, there’s no way you can walk on that, why aren’t you letting him help?

The guilty puppy face he’s giving you is making the whole situation worse. It’s taking everything you can not to snap on, from the overwhelming pain in your ankle to the negative thoughts racing in your head to the knowledge that you’ll have to give in eventually. Finally, you face him head on and decide to just rip the band-aid off. “I don’t have the best experience with letting people do things for me. If you’re expecting to use this against me, I’m going to be out of commission for a while, so remember that.”

He is. So confused. Are you really mad at him? What are you talking about? It’s not that he’s stupid - because really, he isn’t - this just kinda came at him from left field and he does not know what to do about.

“What? I’m worried about you, MC, and there’s no way you can walk on your ankle. Come on, please let me take you to get help. I won’t mention it ever again if that’s what will make you happy.”

So maybe it takes a while to get to the nearest infirmary, and maybe he’s going extra slow so as not to jostle our injury, and maybe in the meantime he’s being so contemplative and quiet that you have a heart-to-heart. Beel’s too genuine not to trust him when he swears he’d NEVER use your kindness against you, but he understands it’ll take a while to show you.

Belphegor

So. Um. This is awkward.

Belphie is a smartass, and he’s the youngest and used to getting his way. He’s definitely the type to dig his heels in and fight dirty in an argument, just because he’s used to winning. He’s also sadistic and has plotted with you to use his brothers’ weaknesses against them for fun. So he gets it. He totally gets why you would think he’d do it. Honestly, that’s basically what he did to free himself from the attic, only with more violence involved. He gets it.

Since Belphegor hasn’t exactly been the nicest to you in the past, he isn’t about to make you pity him with words like “yeah, of course you wouldn’t trust me after what I did to you…” First of all, on the off chance that it’s completely unrelated, he doesn’t want to put that idea in your head and give you a resentment you never had, but also he’s getting a hang of this redemption thing. Yes, on an average day he’s still a bratty, selfish little shit, but he does show you how sorry he is for using you and hurting you. It shows in the way he checks up on you in situations he knows you’re uncomfortable in, in the way he cares for you in that gentle way that’s so subtle you wonder if he’s even actively doing anything. (He is - offering you the best spot in a blanket nest, suggesting your favorite meals when the brother on dinner duty needs ideas, little things - and you both know it.) But how does he repent for something he doesn’t even know if he’s doing?

The way you stop cold when you peek in the kitchen and see him (and Beel) cooking the dinner you just complained about wanting hurts. The two of you have a stare-off for a moment, and Beel gets the message to slide out of the room. Belphegor clears his throat.

“What do you want?” You ask with narrowed eyes. Ouch, way to be a Lucifer. He instead says, “Nothing. I just wanted to do something nice for you.” “And you don’t want anything in return?” “Have I given off the impression that I would?”

You sigh and step into the kitchen to wash your hands, asking if he needs help since Beel left. He grabs your wrist. “You’re welcome to keep me company, but I want to do this for you.”

He doesn’t like you looking at him distrustfully, but is relieved you sit at the counter instead of leaving. He wants to ask you what’s up, but something is stopping him - he ignores that what’s stopping him is fear that you’ll have another thing to add onto the list of the unforgivable sins he’s committed. If you feel like telling him, he’ll listen - but until then, he’ll go back to quietly trying to prove his worth to you, hoping one day you’ll see that it’s genuine and let him give you all the good things you deserve.

[linkspooky]

TogaChako - Good Girl and Bad Girl

Toga Himiko and Uraraka Ochako embody the classic good girl slash bad girl dynamic. It’s a classic dynamic in which one girl will represent what is the traditionally held notions of what a “good girl is” ie/ pure, nice, friendly and the other girl will embody the opposite of that a “bad girl” impure, mean, slutty. Inevitably, these two girls will fight. However, the crux of the good girl bad girl dynamic is that while the girls are total opposites on the outside, inside they’re the same, cuz they’re both girls after all. 

Uraraka and Toga are written to be compared, they’re character foils, because the conclusion we’re supposed to come to isn’t one of them is good, one of them is bad, one of them is selfless, one is selfsh. Rather, they’re written so we see it’s the difference in circumstances that made them who they were. Toga became bad because bad things happened to her. Uraraka is good, because she was born into a good life. What makes a bad girl bad and what makes a good girl good? More under the cut. 

1. Good Girl

Describe Uraraka Ochako. She’s a normal girl. She’s spunky. She puts other people first. She became a hero to help her parents make money, and feels bad because her motivations aren’t as selfless as say her close friend Izuku Midoriya’s. (But that’s wrong because she literally is being selfless, her reason for becoming a hero has entirely to do with benefitting someone else and not herself). She’s supportive, and friendly. She’s always cheerful and never lets herself get too down. 

Uraraka represents the standard of a good girl in hero society. She’s always ready to help her friends, but ultimately she’s kind of passive. She works hard but is not too ambiitous. She’s selfless and always thinks of other people before herself. She has all of these good qualities. 

However, I would argue Uraraka is a lot more complex then this. On the surface she seems to be just a good, nice girl who wants to help others, but her internal mechanisms are complex. While yes I agree Uraraka doesn’t have much of an arc so far due to lack of focus, there’s a difference between not having an arc and not being a complex character. 

A simple character - what you see is what you get.  A complex character - Has internal mechanisms that show the surface isn’t as simple as you thought. 

A simple arc - character moves through the plot without changing who they are. A complex arc - character struggles in a way that fores them to change. 

Uraraka’s inner mechanisms are complex in that there’s more too her in what we see at the surface, it’s just she hasn’t been challenged in any way. The plot doesn’t address her flaw and try to force her to change. 

With that in mind let’s get into Uraraka’s character. Uraraka is defined to her goodness. Uraraka pushes herself to always be good to others. The reason being is that Uraraka is a very sensitive girl who is attune to the feelings of other people. 

Uraraka gets serious for just a second, and people remark that she doesn’t seem like her normal self. 

Uraraka then immediately backs up and gets embarrassed. She goes out of her way to beat herself up and denigrate herself in front of others, insisting her motivations are much more selfish than people like Ida and Deku. 

Uraraka then tells Deku and Iida that she’s not becoming a hero for her own sake, but for someone else’s. Her entire motivation is to help both of her parents live easier lives, because she feels like she’s been a burden on them and pursuing her own dreams would be too selfish. 

Uraraka is very secretive of her own feelings. She’s almost afraid to come off as selfish which is why she doesn’t share what her real goal is. Also, when she starts to get a little motivated to accomplish something for herself, everybody around her remarks how different this is from the fun-loving Uraraka they all know. Also, one last detail Uraraka never even talks about herself, and her friends don’t really think to ask, because Uraraka just so naturally makes things about others and not herself. 

It’s already been elaborated why the reason Uraraka grew so perceptive. Uraraka’s parents were struggling to make ends meet and she grew up in poverty, and even if she has good parents that try really hard not to let the effect of this struggle show in front of her, Uraraka saw it anyway because kids are always watching their parents. 

Uraraka learned to be sensitive to her parents needs, to never demand too much for her parents, her behaviors all became centered around not becoming a burden to others. 

Uraraka thinks it’s only natural to put others first and help others before helping herself. That other people’s happiness is more important than her own. Because she’s someone naturally empathic. Because she’s someone naturally able to see the pain and struggle other people go through, because she grew up seeing it. However, the problem with this behavior is it makes Uraraka essentially a support to everyone else. 

Uraraka is constantly putting others up on a pedestal and using that as an excuse to lower herself further and further. As cute as her admiration for Deku is, it’s also a bit unhealthy - as she uses it as an excuse to beat herself up. She sees Deku as this amazing person, whose always struggling to help everyone, whose always saving everyone for completely selfless reasons and she always suffers in the comparison.

I think part of Uraraka wants to stand out like Deku does, and has the same desire to go all out to save people, but Uraraka is so used to being secondary in her own life she can’t bring herself to. 

Uraraka can’t even cry in front of others. I think, the most telling behavior she has in the entire series is the moment where she breaks down on the phone describing everything she did wrong because this is how Uraraka sees herself. She’s so extremely critical of herself, and constantly apologizing for herself, while at the same time hiding what she really feels from others.

Uraraka has all these self esteem issues that she basically just shelves so she can play the good, nice girl, that gets along well and is friends with everyone. 

Uraraka assigns the role of group placater and peacemaker for herself because it’s something she’s so naturally good at and she’s always thinking of others, but because of that, Uraraka herself suffers. Uraraka only knows how to help people by belittling herself and her own role in things. 

Uraraka’s greatest fear is being selfish. She doesn’t want to look like a bad girl. That’s the connection between Toga and Uraraka, because what Uraraka is afraid of ultimately is living her life the way Toga does. 

2. Bad Girl

Toga is everything that Uraraka is afraid of being, and lives the life that Uraraka is afraid of living. Uraraka is someone so afraid of being selfish, and getting distracted that she is not even allowed to have a crush on a boy. Whereas, Toga lives her life chasing what she loves. Everything Uraraka represses about herself, Toga expresses. That’s the difference between the two of them. 

When Uraraka first encounters Toga, her willingness to chase what she loves looks from Uraraka’s perspective to be entirely monstrous. Uraraka sees Toga as a selfish monster, because in part she is afraid of appearing that way. 

Toga Himiko the bad girl. 

However that’s far from the whole picture of Toga. When we see her away from Uraraka’s perspective she’s entirely different. She’s someone empathic, capable of being kind to others, and thinking about others feelings. 

Toga’s just as capable of reading other people and addressing their feelings as Uraraka is. However, there’s still a key difference in their behavior. Uraraka acts to avoid conflict. When she intervenes, what she usually does is act in a way that avoids stepping on toes, and touts the “we should all get along and be friends’ line. Whereas, Toga is someone who directly addresses the conflict and the hurt feelings of others. 

For Uraraka the most important thing is getting along with others. For Toga the most important thing is being true to her own emotions. Which is why she’s able to directly address the problem with Twice, she didn’t tell him to bear with it, she told him she knew he was in pain but that the two of them could take down the mafia together. 

Even Himiko’s most selfish monster moments aren’t really that monstrous. Himiko’s reason for stalking both Uraraka and Deku is not because she’s weird and creepy, but because she wants to be a normal kid just like them. 

Himiko’s reason for sucking the blood of high school girls and taking on their appearances isn’t because she’s preadtory, it’s because she’s been a runaway with no home for two years and she’s terrified of getting caught. 

Himiko who is framed as a selfish monster, is actually quite the normal girl. She’s a normal girl reacting to the pressures of the society around her. The kicker is that Himiko isn’t someone who just decided to flip and turn out this way, she is only the way she is because she tried to live like Uraraka did at first.

Himiko tried to push everything down and live like a normal girl. She tried to lie about herself so she’d be a good, nice, harmless girl. She only became so selfish, because she tried to live selflessly first. She only prioritizes herself, because she was used to putting herself down before this. We see her classmates react to her, they all describe Himiko was the kind of girl that Uraraka is right now. 

However, behaviors in Uraraka that are self-defeating and unhealthy, are absolutely ruinous in Himiko. Himiko has no sense of self, because she spent so long trying to be what others wanted her to be. Himiko is who she is, in reaction to the pressures of everyone around her. 

When Himiko tries to figure herself out, she always gets the same response. Why do you have be so selfish? Why can’t you just act normal? Which completely ignores the fact that she TRIED and that’s what got her here. 

The main difference between Uraraka and Toga is not one of them being good, and the other being bad. Toga’s been through way harsher life circumstances. Uraraka has parents that affirm her identity, and Toga’s parents deny her over and over again. 

The point of the good girl bad girl dynamic is that they’re both girls in the end. Yes, Uraraka’s never reacted as badly as Himiko has. However, Uraraka’s also never been pushed so far. In fact someone as empathic as Uraraka can be oblivious to the suffering of others. 

Uraraka doesn’t see what Himiko is going through, because she hasn’t suffered the way Himiko has. 

It’s like. When you have a good sibling and a bad sibling. The good sibling always behaves because they conform to the pressure their parents put on them. The bad sibling acts out in response to that pressure, and because of that their parents have to discipline them and they end up soaking up most of the parent’s attention. In that situation the good sibling can come to ressent the bad sibling for acting out and needing attention in the first place. 

Reasonable child and unreasonable child. There exist these black and white categories to define children into where one looks good and one looks bad, that actually totally fail to address the child’s behavior because people are complex and therefore don’t fit into black and white categories. But, Uraraka is still working with that black and white logic when it comes to heroes and villains. Even though she’s usually so good at sussing out the complex nuance of other people’s feelings. 

This is what’s happening here in this chapter. You can apply the dynamic between the two of them to the conflict at large. Toga is selfish for acting out and causing problems for others, because she wants her own personal grievances to be addressed. Uraraka is sefless because all she cares about right now is helping the most amount of people. Uraraka is willing to repress herself, and put others needs before her own, because what’s most important is everybody gets along.

However, Uraraka insinuates, the same way that Himiko’s parents once insinuated that Himiko’s acting out just makes her selfish. 

We’ve seen this conflict before. Himiko literally went into the conflict to ask this question. Do problem children like her count as “everyone”. However, no matter what happens this arc, no matter what critcisisms the villains levvy against the heroes we get the same hollow repettition of “Heroes save everyone”. Which is why Himiko looks just about to snap here.

Uraraka who is used to brushing conflicts aside and avoiding them for the sake of “everyone gettling along” sees the girl who can’t get along with “everyone” and calls her selfish. To Himiko, this is the same words she’s been hearing her entire life. “Why are you making a fuss? Why can’t you just be normal.” 

From one perspective, yes Uraraka is the one fighting seflessly because she’s just trying to save as many people as she can and Himiko is getting in the way of things. However, Himiko is someone who grasps the bigger picture. Himiko addresses the problem directly rather than sweeping it under the rug, there are people who aren’t saved by the hero system. Those people are just as in need of saving as what heroes deem to be innocent people. You can’t claim to save everyone and then ignore the suffering of people you deem as “bad”. Himiko seems like she’s acting selfishly, but then again she’s acting for the sake of people like Jin who died because heroes insisted that his life was less important. 

Uraraka is at the same time very perceptive to the suffering of others, and also very oblivious, and it has much more to do with personal hangups than anything else. She doesn’t want to see Himiko as someone similiar to her, because Uraraka is someone so deathly afraid of coming off as selfish. To the point that she treats people with genuine grievances against society as selfish childrens making demands for atttention. 

Uraraka is the one who can’t face herself, and therefore the answer she gives Himiko is to the effect of “Shut up and deal with it.” It’s a very personal thing for Uraraka once you realize that Uraraka has also been shutting herself up all this time, pushing herself down, always letting people walk all over. Uraraka is capable of putting herself aside for the sake of others, so as a result she sees people who can’t put themselves aside as selfish. 

“I can do it, so why can’t you? Why can’t you be normal?” 

I hammer down so hard on this point because there’s a difference between placating and conflict resolution. 

Placating comes from a place of “I want the conflict to go away” or “I want the hurt feelings to go away.” Placating is just saying whatever you think the person you’re talking to wants to hear in order to please them. It’s behavior that’s based entirely around avoiding conflict. Uraraka placates, she sweeps it under the rug, she swallows her grievances for the point of everyone happily getting along together. 

This placating also applies to the hero system at large. It’s not really designed to save everyone, so much as make the vast majority of people feel safe at the cost of the minority. 

When there is a problem does Hero society directly address the issue? Or do they sweep it under the rug for the appearance of everyone getting along?

I think the fact that every time a villain brings up a problem this arc, the heroes just shout “Heros save everyone” and “Heroes never give up” is evidence of the latter. That’s why, when Uraraka says it, when Hawks says it, “Heroes save everyone” just comes off as hollow because in the very same breath they both make it clear that Toga and Twice are not part of the everyone who gets saved. 

[choco-mark]

A Marriage of Inconvenience (Epilogue)

overall pairing: mafia!jeno x mafia!oc

overall genre: angst | smut | fluff

warnings: mentions of violence + death, mentions of drugs + drugging + drugging someone else, mentions of sex

summary: when two mafia gangs decide to end their family feud after decades, your mother decides to give your hand away to marriage of their son, lee jeno. he seemed to hate you from the moment he laid his eyes on you, but could the resolution lead to something much more than a bride and groom?

words: 3k

masterlist

requested by 🤡 anon

1 December

Seven months. That was how long it had been since Jeno had slipped a band onto your finger and kissed you into a marriage that was once so...inconvenient to you. It was funny even thinking back to how the two of you treated each other with so much hostility only a month ago, acting as if a difference of family was so disgusting. It was funny, thinking back to when you tried to kill him with the very nice blades that the Lees polished every other day.

Your back hit the soft mattress and you laid yourself down against the material of the pillow that was now cushioning your head. But your brain didn’t seem to remember the exact moment your hatred for him changed into something else, and even as much as you traveled back into your memories, you never could really find the minute you had looked at him without thinking ‘oh, Lee.’ It made you wonder what changed, but the more you wondered, the more you understood. From all that you had witnessed for the past while, the one thing that hit you the hardest was that: Lee Jeno was just like you. As much as you wouldn’t had dared admit it before, you knew it now; you knew exactly how much the two of you had in common. 

Your entire life you had been raised like bred puppy not to ever trust anyone with your life except for yourself, which often caused you to shun people immediately for the moment you saw this. If it wasn’t in battle, you had never found yourself the kind of person to make friends or casually talk, and when it was, well, you always just did the job that you were told to do. Your personality was an original cold person, the kind of person that wouldn’t want anyone near them that would cause their own emotional attachment. The only exception being family.

You could tell how close Jeno was with his family, and lately having confided in you very minutely about his feeling, how close he was with Donghyuck. It hadn’t occurred to him that his brother had been going through depressive episodes, which had caused him to have outbreaks of different emotions at different times because of the drugs that he had been abused with, not at least until the Lee doctor had diagnosed him in the dungeon that he had been locked up in. And according to him, it had hit him hard. Harder than he had expected himself to be affected by it. His relationship with Taeyong wasn’t necessarily the same, considering he had always had a certain hate for his younger brothers, but Mark? He had said that even if he wasn’t his brother, he would’ve still considered him as one.

You had told him that you—were somewhat similar, though, he didn’t need you to tell him because he had already seen that attachment towards Jisung the entire time that he was recovering. You had always seen it as a weakness, the way that family always was the soft spot in your heart, but the more you talked about it with him, the more you realized it was a strength. Your love for your brother was out of the roof, and he knew that as much as you showed it, and he assured you that it most definitely did not make you weak because you loved.

In the past few days, it had almost felt like you and Jeno had just passed a stage from strangers to friends, from the way you two were actually able to talk and train together. Well, counting out the fact that you had insisted you go to the training room and Jeno had sheepishly told you that his father had specifically asked you not to leave the bedroom for the rest of the month. It ended with you threatening to punch your—father-in-law in the face, and a few very angry knives being thrown at targets.

But Jeno was nice to train with, because he was like you in the fact that your training time was your therapeutic relaxation time. You didn’t want to be disturbed, and neither did he, and that made the perfect pairing. It only lasted till sparring, where you knew he lacked it, and you gave him a few techniques that would help him in the hopeful future. And Jeno, well, he had helped you with your rifle skills.

The two of you were—well—kind of forced to share a room, which allowed for eventful breakfasts and lunches and dinners that would consist of long, unusual, and unnecessary discussions. They were forever ongoing, and they varied from topics such as old comics to your lecture on feminism, but, it allowed for some kind of bonding between the two of you.

Jeno had eventually understood the reason why you were always so defiant against his father, and it did hit him that the Lees were always so discriminatory towards women in their household. He had said with a small voice and a slight smile that ‘one day, when I take over the clan, I’ll abolish the patriarchy.’ But, you both knew that day wouldn’t come for a while, at least, so you had to deal with it for the time being.

You had also learned that Jeno had a very high sex drive. Well, higher than you had expected. You already knew that he really liked taking that cock of his and stuffing you full, but what you didn’t expect was his easy submission. There had been one day where you had taken you chance and sat on his chest, and to your surprise, he had looked up at you with pleading eyes that made you want to sin. And the best part was when he asked for your validation, the constant ‘am I doing good?’ or ‘does that feel good?’ that would make your heart warm up in different ways.

Jeno was sensitive, too, and you hadn’t even noticed it until you woke up one morning to find him crying silently into his hands after hearing the news that one of his sisters were getting married. You were—expecting him to say that someone died, but the fact that his tears were for a happy beginning made you realize how much pent up emotion he had inside of him. You were almost glad to have witnessed him crying for something so...soft.

Jeno was understanding, way more understanding that it made you want to be more accepting of him as well. He had read your mind one night and had snuck you out to visit your home just for few hours, to reunite you with the rest of your family for just the result of your smile in the end. At least, Jeno knew what it felt like being kept away from his family.

You knew he visited Donghyuck everyday, who was now in the hospital wing being treated indefinitely. Though you couldn’t necessarily bring yourself to see the man who had abducted you again without feeling the flashes from before, you knew that it meant a lot to him that he go see him. Even if he didn’t tell you, Mark did, and he always gave you a little toothy smile and told you not to worry about him.

It was on the seventeenth of May when you had woken up with severe cramps and nausea that had caused you to vomit at the break of dawn. It was on that same day that Jeno had insisted that he carry you to the hospital wing with the belief that you were ‘dying from side effects of the oxygen depreciating drug.’ And it was on the same day that the doctor had widened his eyes and told the two of you that, no, you were not dying, but you were pregnant.

The first thing that had come to your mind was: I’m not ready for this. And the truth was that, no, you were one hundred percent not ready to become a mother and bring a child into the world. Jeno had stood there for what felt like an eternity with his jaw dropped until you had given him a slap on the thigh. Well, you shouldn’t had expected yourself to not be pregnant with all that sex and all that non-protection. Yet that was the outcome. But Jeno seemed to have expected it, and the funniest part to you was, he was ten times more excited than you were. Sure, having kids was definitely something you wanted, but having kids when you were nineteen and just married? Not really your cup of tea.

You had finally gotten enough of his anticipating words by the end of the next night, yelling at him with no rationale on the fact that you didn’t even want kids in the first place. That wasn’t completely true, no, but in the heat of the moment, you couldn’t take seeing him so happy about something that he didn’t even see as a burden.

But another thing about Jeno that you had learned was that, he was so selfless. He had sat down with you with his hands grasping yours the entire time as he let you pour your heart out about everything. You ended up crying, almost embarrassingly, but he assured you that it was okay. It was okay to cry when things don’t go the way you wanted.

Jeno was comforting, that was for sure. All he ever did was offer you comfort when you needed it, and gave you everything he could even when you didn’t need it. It was almost like he was sacrificing himself for you, and you didn’t even know why. Not until he told you.

You still remembered the day he did, he had let you sit on his lap in the empty training mats in mid-August, rubbing your thighs softly. You had missed training with him, and that was something he had forbid ever since you had started showing. The least he could do was take you to the scene, and enjoy it with you.

He had pressed his lips down your neck, trailing back up to whisper into your ears words that you truly, never would’ve expected him to say before. You had turned to stare at him for so long, and you had watched the anticipating shine of his eyes as he waited for your response. But, you felt the same way, of course, how could you not?

And everytime since that first time, you would feel like little butterflies in your stomach that would flutter around when he kissed you with those rose lips of his. Kissed you with all the love that he said and gave. And so you had told him back, so quietly, ‘I love you.’

What didn’t strike you was that Lee Jeno was a romantic. A romantic that he would never take credit for. You knew he wouldn’t, but he still woke you up to warm baths and feathered kisses, and he took you outside without his father’s permission to let you view the pretty gardens that were always locked to public view. He kissed you under the covers, and in front of his older brother. He did what he wanted, because he loved you, and he didn’t have to hide it any longer.

Donghyuck had recovered by early September, though having been warned caution by the doctor, Jeno still hadn’t allowed you near him. He had insisted that no, he didn’t have the same liking towards you that he might’ve had before, but he didn’t want to take any chances and put you in danger. You and your unborn child, as well.

But you visited Donghyuck in his room on a crisp afternoon later that month, having avoided Jeno as he had gone on an outing with Mark. It was funny, you thought, seeing him so unflirty and polite from the way that contrasted when he had his episodes before. He had even cried seeing your baby bump, and you could’ve sworn that was the cutest reaction you had gotten from anyone about your child. He was so different, but this was the Donghyuck that Jeno had told you was real, unlike the one that possessed him into taking another name.

Jeno had yelled at you after he came back, having known that you had left that room. And you, well, you yelled back. He had said that you shouldn’t have left. And you had said that he couldn’t stop you. It was heated, and at the end, you had realized: it was your first ever fight. And it was about Donghyuck.

You learned that night that Donghyuck was his half-brother, born from the same father but a different mother. It had been rumored, apparently, that his mother was a Park, at least that was what Jeno had told you. It almost made you laugh, thinking about that, because that man did have qualities that would stick him as a Park. He felt guilt, something apparently, that Lees didn’t feel. Well, it had been just a rumor anyway.

The next day you had awoken to Jeno pulling a bullet out of his arm in the lavish bathroom, and he had to lull you back to sleep with the promise that he was okay. You had learned later that he had gone out on a mission, and had failed to retrieve the said item that was needed, and his father had taken it out on him by shooting a metal ball into his skin. It wasn’t a bullet, per say, and it wasn’t nearly as painful, but it still caused an infection that made you want to barge up to that man and kill him right then and there.

Mark had told you that day that his father always had—unusual punishments when things didn’t go his way, though it seemed more like cruel to you. You hadn’t understood why your husband’s father treated his children as if they weren’t even his children, but a pack of dogs at his bidding to do whatever he wanted with them. It was disgusting.

In mid-October, that was when you realized that Jeno was infatuated with your voice. He had been concentrating on the move of your lips and the sounds falling from them so much that his listening wasn’t even listening, he had just been admiring your voice like it was something beautiful on its own. Even when you had gotten slightly frustrated with him constantly zoning out on your lips, he had just given you that cute eye-smile and kissed you, telling you that you’re gorgeous. That you’re gorgeous, and he loves you.

Jeno was—beautiful in his own sense, with a sense of absolute love and adoration for you that you noticed had grown so unbearable over time that you knew—the two of you couldn’t see a life without each other. You even laughed on that day he told you that, remembering back when the two of you were constantly at each other’s throats for almost zero to no reason. Now? You couldn’t even imagine what your life would’ve been if you weren’t forced to marry him.

Though at the same time, you could. You would’ve been living the same life as you always were, throwing blades and killing for victory. You would’ve been spending time with your younger brother the way you did before, training him and advising him about everything and nothing he needed to know. As much as you had grown to love Jeno, you didn’t think that anything to take over the meaning of Jisung in your life, and it made you tired to think that you couldn’t see him every day as you wished. But Jeno made it happen.

Jeno made—almost everything you wanted—happen. He treated you like a princess, not even, a queen like he sometimes said. He had never wanted to see you upset when you were with him, and if you did, there was always his constant strive to make you smile again. Even if it wasn’t easy. He had snuck Jisung out of the Park mansion on a Saturday night in November, and had woken you up to a brother you hadn’t seen in months.

And over all that time that you had gotten to know and fall for the man that you were formally married to, you had thought back to the day of your wedding and remembered how reluctant you were to marry him. Even back then, you were so weary of how Jeno had managed to make you feel in the time that he had saved you from your abductors, and you didn’t want to feel so weak around a man that had always seemed strong. You didn’t want to let him know that you were already falling for him, because you thought he was so different, but he—really wasn’t.

It had been seven months since you and Jeno had gotten married, and in another two months, you would be welcoming your baby daughter into the world. You had never imagined your life to take such a huge turn when you had entered the Lee palace all that time ago, with only the determination to find the people that had taken their liking for you, but...it had. Jeno hadn’t imagined it either, most definitely not when he found out he was marrying a Park, but he knew that his past self would scold him now if he knew that he was in love with a Park—and married to one too.

But that was where life had taken you, and you could only really hope for a increasingly better future. Both for you, and your husband. It might’ve been forbidden at first, maybe even so inconvenient, but you weren’t about to let it stop you. You would continue to throw knives at a flimsy dart, and you would continue to spar like the high ranked fighter you were. The two of you had made it work, with the best interest in mind as you started, and it had ended up with emotions much stronger than that.

Maybe, just maybe, life wasn’t such a burden all the time.

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i hope that cleared some things up!! and once again, thank you soo much for supporting my first real series on this blog. i hope you guys enjoyed the outcome of the story, and i gotta say that it took some twists that even i didn’t expect (haha), but here we are at the end! thank you!! ♡

[mickmarstookmyheart]

Life's a Sick Joke pt 16

Would like to start from the beginning? Here is Part 1!

Pairing: Mick Mars x Reader

A/N: Good morning/night/afternoon, you beautiful creatures! I know this story hasn't been really active recently but here you go the next chapter. There isn't much action in it, although it contains emotions and deep conversations. I hope you will like it. Stay safe, drink water and listen to music louder than hell!

16. Being There For You

After you got Mick from jail, which was pretty hilarious regarding that he never did anything to be in there, not even this time. He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time. He was still angry with you for not helping him immediately, but you let him fume a bit.

You were concentrated on something else. It was finally the day your brother would be out so you intended to get him, too. You seriously were tired of getting everyone out of jail. You were driving the car, staring at the road, your fingers drumming on the wheel along the music; Accept's Balls to the Wall was on and you couldn't help but silently sing along.

"I'm glad you have the energy to sing, but I couldn't sleep last night since someone let me rot in a fucking cell!" Mick snapped and you turned the music down. You took a long breath not to say anything you would regret.

"Mick, you only spent 6 hours there. You could've slept while waiting you know. And don't be angry with me, I wasn't the one who got you there." You arched a brow still not believing he was mad at you instead of Tommy.

"Speaking of, I can't wait to slap drummer. With a chair." He barked looking out the window. "And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh on you, I'm just grumpier than usual for not sleeping."

"It's okay, I understand." You were smirking at him. He placed his hand on your right hand which you rested on the gear shift. "But you have to wait with your revenge until next Monday. You know we have the whole week off."

"Finally. We can be alone for a bit. Without anyone harassing us." He stated, closing his eyes and leaning back his head. You bit your lip down fearing his reaction to what you were about to say.

"Umm...but I hope it's okay if Dylan will be around for a bit. Or I can go back to our old apartment and let you rest at your house. I would like to spend some time with Dylan before we hit the road again." You turned in the next corner after looking in both directions. It felt like ages until Mick said something.

"Babe, it's totally okay. Your brother needs you. And he won't bother me unless he runs in the hallway screaming and almost naked smashing everything in sight." You chuckled knowing exactly whom he was talking about. Luckily, Dylan has never acted like that. Alright, maybe a few months ago but that wasn't the true him. Sharon exclaimed that he was improving and was on a good path. You had every reason to believe her so you weren't so worried about being with him in one room again. On the other hand, you were thinking of how jail time might break him. He was always so strong, although terrible things happen to people in jail who spend months in.

"I'm sure he won't cause any harm. So you truly don't have any excuse to have him in your house for the week?" You asked him cautiously for reassurance. To be honest, you were the scared one. You were scared as hell since you have never been to his home. You got together during the camping you brought them on and since then you weren't home or nearby even. The tour and then the hospital, the travel to your sister.

"(Y/N), there are a few guest rooms so he can crash at my place if he wants to. Or if you think environment change is the last thing he needs right now, we can bring back him to your shared apartment." He said warming your heart how kind he was with you, with your family. How much he cared for your well-being. Your eyes welled up and you got rid of the tears by wiping them away with the top of your hand. "(Y/N), what is it?" He stiffened thinking through what he has just said. "Did I say something?"

"Yes. But nothing bad, don't worry." He relaxed a bit but still couldn't understand why you were crying. "It's just, in my whole life I only got hatred, stating with our parents. I always I was just giving and giving until nothing remained for me. I started to drain out from goodness but kept going as Isabelle and Dylan needed me. It's not that I don't love them or they don't deserve it. I didn't have anyone I could rely on, or just have a nice decent talk about what is bothering me. And after meeting you, I thought I hit jackpot. And still, you keep amazing me with your kindness, selflessness, and your big heart." You exhaled when you finished your monologue making Mick speechless again. In the meantime, you parked the car in the prison's parking lot and stopped the car. Your hands rested in your lap playing with the key. Mick got out of the car and closed the door after himself before leaning on the car with his back. You were truly afraid. You hesitated at first but then got out of the car and walked next to him, leaning on the car. You didn't say a word. About Mick, he was fighting back tears, his chest rose and fell rapidly and you couldn't help but notice his jaws were tightened.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there for you." He begun, finally breaking the silence. Although, what he said made your brows knitted.

"Mick, we hadn't met, you wouldn't have been able to do much about it." You leaned your head on his shoulder making him calm.

"I know, but it's so unfair. You deserve the world, (Y/N). And if someone dares to tell me otherwise I will beat the shit out of them. And may your parents rot in hell, what they did to you is unforgivable. And I'm admiring you, (Y/N), for being able to smile and keep making everyone happy after all those horrible things happened to you. You are a survivor and I have fallen in love with you madly, deeply, and undeniably." You looked up at him, feeling lost in his blue eyes. You cracked a smile and hugged him tightly, filling your lungs with his scent. He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, his arms resting on your waist pulling you closer.

"I love you, too, Mick. With every cell of my body." You whispered. You didn't know how quickly you found each other. You completed each other, you were partners, not just lovers. You were soulmates. A loud screeching noise broke the moment making both of you look towards the source of the sound. It was the huge rusty gates opening. Your heart was hammering and you were grabbing Mick's hand strongly.

"Hey, easy, Tiger." He whispered in your ear making you loosen your grip. At first, you only saw guards but then you noticed your brother in the distance. You were grinning and couldn't believe he was finally free after months. When the guards went back inside and the gates were closed Dylan looked in your way and dropped his bag on the ground. You let go of Mick and started running towards him. When you two met you jumped on him almost making him fell.

"Hey, (Y/N)." He greeted and spun you around as you were still hanging on him like a monkey.

"Hey." You could only say this. You were so happy to have him in your arms again. The real Dylan. Not the one who hurt you or left you alone. This was the Dylan you knew in your whole life. The caring, the funny, the goofy.

"I would love to carry you like this all the way home but it's either that you eat too much recently or I am out of shape." You chuckled letting him go. You were on your feet again when Mick approached you and you saw Dylan bow his head from embarrassment and guilt.

"Hello, Dylan." He said casually. No emotions, just words.

"Hi, Mick." He muttered still not looking in his eyes. He balled his fists then loosened them again by his side. He was still battling. It broke your heart seeing him like this. "I would like to apologize. For all the things I have said and done. For acting crazy and almost hitting you in the face. I wasn't myself. And I would like to thank you for taking care of (Y/N) when I couldn't. It means a lot to me." He offered his hand to Mick as an apology. Mick glanced at you and after you nodded he shook Dylan's hand.

"Apology accepted." He gave a half-smile and winked. He knew it wasn't Dylan's fault, well, mostly. He inherited anger issues from your parents, but he should've asked for help. "So, are you hungry?"

"Hell yes. The food was horrible in there." He complained, dropping his bag on his shoulder lazily. "Sadly, they didn't serve (Y/N)'s famous spaghetti Bolognese. You could say, I'm craving that."

"I didn't know a chef lives inside you." Mick laughed arching a brow.

"I haven't had the chance to show it." You crossed your arms in front of your chest like a shield.

"Then it's high time. So, Dylan, it's your decision. Where would you like to go?" Mick asked. Dylan's eyes googled from the shock but then went back to normal.

"I'm sure your kitchen is much bigger than ours. Right, (Y/N)?" You burst into laughter from that statement because you knew damn well how small that kitchen was and barely one person could fit there, not even three.

"Then, it's settled then."

∆

"Woah, you didn't mention you live in a fucking castle." You admired the beautiful house which was settled in a forest far away from any human. It was definitely something Mick appreciated.

"It's not much. But come inside." You got your bags from the back where Dylan stood.

"Are you nervous?" He asked noticing you were biting your lip and struggling to breathe properly. And the son of a bitch was smirking. Righ in your face.

"Fuck you, Dylan." He just laughed and took the bag from your hand. Mick has already opened the door and was waiting for you.

"My lady." He gestured with his hands, letting you go first. When you stepped into the house your eyebrows were nearly invisible. When you thought about Mick and his personality you were sure he lived in a dark castle, like vampires or just a dirty apartment. You expected everything but not this. The living room was bigger than your apartment, it was light and neat. There were two huge black leather sofas in front of the fireplace with a glass table between them. The walls were white and pure.

"Like it?" Mick asked smirking and wandering his eyes in the room.

"It's freaking beautiful." You stated.

"Bloody hell, this is awesome." Dylan had almost the same reaction as you.

"This way." Mick said, you and Dylan followed him. "So this is the kitchen, I know it's not much but I hope it is big enough. And the bedrooms are upstairs.

"(Y/N), don't droll. So nasty." Dylan joked earning a scoff from you. You had to admit, this was the most fascinating kitchen you have ever seen. You quickly wiped your mouth but there was nothing.

"You are nasty!" You elbowed him in the stomach when Mick didn't pay attention earning a groan from Dylan.

"You haven't changed a bit." He murmured, trying to keep up with you.

"So, Dylan, your room will be at the end on the right. You will find towels in the wardrobe, too." He noted.

"Thanks, man. I think I will go, I don't want to bother." He winked and headed to the room but before he entered he winked and gave you a thumb up.

"Sometimes, I feel the urge just to choke him. Just a little bit." You said. Mick chuckled and took your hand into his. Butterflies in your stomach kept reminding you that you were in his house and apart from Dylan, only the two of you were there. No Nikki, no Tommy, no Vince. No concerts, no shouting, screaming, or breaking glasses. Just quiet, peace, and you.

"I'm pretty curious about your reaction so close your eyes and don't open until I say so." You nodded and did as told. He helped you not to hit anything. "Okay, now you can open it."

You cautiously and slowly opened your eyes from the sudden brightness. Huge windows were in charge of the light. However, many other things drew your attention. At least, 10 guitars were hanging on the wall along with pieces of vinyl. He knew guitars were your weakness and he was right there smiling from seeing your reaction. You were speechless.

"Dear Satan, this is beautiful." You held up your hand to hide your open mouth.

"I knew, you would like it!" He snickered and showed you around in his room. There were some bookshelves, tapes, and other types of vinyl as well. You noticed some family pictures as well. "Yeah, well, Susie hasn't changed a bit."

"These photos are adorable." You put down the frame and turned to him. "So, do you have any plans for the day?"

"What about your famous Spaghetti Bolognese Dylan was talking about?" He asked pulling you closer his eyes not leaving yours. You could feel his breath on your skin and his hands on your hips. "Or we could let him rest a bit and try if we fit in the bed?"

"Oh, I thought I would get a guest room as well." You joked earning a small laugh from him.

∆

"Gosh, how much I missed this!" Dylan was filling his mouth with your spaghetti and it appeared that Mick loved it, too. You were holding a glass full of wine and were watching them.

"It's nothing special, actually. Just some secret ingredients, that's all." You noted. "However, I'm glad that criminals love my food." You added while taking a sip.

"What?" Dylan inquired with raised brows. "Don't- don't tell me you were arrested, too. Cause I won't believe it."

Mick rolled his eyes and kept his attention on his plate.

"It wasn't me, alright? And can we just forget about it?"

"Then welcome to the club, man. Don't worry, you are not bad. She also sat in there for a few days." He tilted his head towards you making you choke on your wine.

"Nothing surprises me anymore." Mick chuckled shaking his head.

That day, you felt loved. By Mick, and by Dylan. Both are a different kind of love, but you felt special. For a long period, it was the first day, you felt safe. No fire, no drunk people trying to flirt with you, no drugs. Of course, only for a week. Then you will have to go back, but first, you wanted the enjoy every minute of being with Mick and your brother.

∆

Taglist: @leatherandheels @safari-karrot @cmft-jr-winchester @crazyrockrlady @savageandnikkiapproved <3

Feel free to message me, comment on any story or ask me if you want to be tagged or add yourself HERE!

[jiminieloved]

What's you favorite quality of each of the members?

Jin: Compassion and selflessness. He’s never desperate to take the spotlight, and doesn’t even really cause a fuss when he’s pushed aside (maybe to a fault). He just always seems to take the happiness of the team as #1 priority. It also seems that his pride isn’t too big to admit his mistakes and apologize if he thinks he was wrong. Beautiful singing voice and I would personally want him as a friend. Also, 10/10 mukbangs. Also he’s such a feminist???? We stan. He’s a bias wrecker for sure. 

Yoongi: Musical style. I’m absolutely in love with the music he makes. From his solo works to the songs he’s produced, I think Yoongi and I have very similar tastes in music. His solo style reminds me a lot of Halsey in an odd way- very in your face, unapologetic, and raw. He isn’t afraid to get a little angsty, and neither am I :’) I relate to his personality a lot. I also love that he tends to say things as they are; he doesn’t bother with beating around the bush. 

Hobi: Optimism. Hobi is a frequent bias wrecker for me. He doesn’t seem too worried about seeming ‘cool’, he just acts joyous and happy. Despite this, we also get to see his more calm and collected serious side sometimes. I love both. His talent for dance is baffling to me, and I seriously think that when he walks into a room it immediately becomes a little happier. (I should also mention his rap lines are ALWAYS my favorite.)

Namjoon: Intellect and awkwardness. I was going to say ‘intellect and leadership’, but honestly what draws me to RM even more than his amazing leadership skills is his kind of awkward, fumbling personality. I don’t know why, it’s just so endearing to me. There’s a funny duality between having his shit together in the music world, and then constantly almost spilling secrets on Vlive, and breaking things. I also just love how woke he is. It makes me proud.

Jimin: Work ethic and empathy. He makes me laugh because there’s this  hardworking perfectionist side to him that we often hear about, but he presents himself in such an unpretentious and down to earth way, and he also isn’t afraid to admit he loves attention and the spotlight. He’s also the first to run and comfort someone when they’re crying on their knees. His singing is angelic and his dancing is ethereal. Proud to have him as my bias. 

Tae: Charming and unique. I think Tae brings a carefree energy to the group that is absolutely necessary and grounding. He has such a soulful voice that gives me goosebumps. If I could only pick one person to have as a best friend in Bangtan, I think I would pick Tae. He just seems so down to earth and kind and hilarious and weird in the best way possible. Compared to all of the members, he seems the most ‘life-like’ to me, if that makes sense. 

Jungkook: Passion. I get the feeling that JK is very emotionally driven as a person. He seems to put his very being into everything he does. I think he’s the same way even as a fan. He doesn’t half ass his interests. I find this very inspiring, and I see a lot of myself in him. I also think his personality is so endearing. On a technical level his voice is very good. His high notes and runs are everything to me.

Sorry I said quick answers but this took me forever because I didn’t want to shortchange anyone :’)

[rogsclogs]

The Great Pretender (Ben Hardy x Reader); Part 3

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader 

Summary: Y/N breaks down after being strong for so long around Ben, and he finally finds the strength to go up to her and apologize (this is NOT the end of the series)

Warning(s): mention of anxiety, a lot of fluff (so much fluff oh my god)  

Words: around 1200

Taglist: @sherlokiantheatrenerd @discodeacygotmorerhythm @ma-ntequilla (if anyone else wants to be tagged in the next parts, just message me)

If you still haven’t read Part 1 and 2, just look up The Great Pretender in my tags. Enjoy! Feedback is always welcome.

She felt her heart beat loud and clear in her chest, so loud, in fact, that she thought it would burst out of her chest any minute, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the burns on her skin or the ones on her pride. She stripped off her shirt and tried to wash away the remains of coffee from her pale chest, but the only thing that was washing away effectively was her sanity. She could feel herself slowly spiral out of control as her anxiety took over her consciousness. What had she done to deserve this? Why wasn’t she able to keep a normal relationship with her coworkers? Was this the reason why she couldn’t get many jobs in the industry? Everything was her fault at the end of the day, she was ruining the career she’d worked so hard to obtain and it was all because of her shitty personality-

“Y/N please, let me in” she heard Ben say from right outside the door. His voice was laced with guilt and regret, but she couldn’t really tell, too absorbed in self commiseration to pay attention to her surroundings. In fact, if he had spoken any quieter she probably wouldn’t have heard him at all.

“Uhm, g-give me a minute I’ll.. uh..... I’ll be right back on set, just..” She hurriedly walked around the bathroom trying to recollect herself and stop the flood of tears that kept coming out of her eyes, but without much success. The shakiness of her voice didn’t go unnoticed by Ben, who felt himself grow worried.

“Y/N, love, please let me in, I gotta make sure you’re alright and I know it sounds crazy coming from me, but just know that I’m very sorry and I need to make it up to you. I mean well this time, I promise. Just... unlock the door for me, beautiful, please”.

His words didn’t fully register in her brain, but she still felt herself tiredly unlock the door. She was clearly out of it, only wearing a bra and with her makeup all over the place, had it been any other time she would have never let anyone in, but he was offering some kind of comfort and she was craving it. As soon as he was in front of her, whatever was left of his ego completely crumbled and he realized just how much damage he’d done. It really was never his intention to ruin her like that. He embraced her in his arms and gently pushed her back so he could shut the door behind them and not be disturbed by anyone else who might walk by and see her like that. He let her cry in his chest for a while, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and slowly rocking her body back and forth in a comforting manner, remembering that’s what his mother would do with him when he was feeling down.

“I’m sorry... you have to see me like this” she let out after a while as he kept her close and lovingly stroked her messy hair.

“No please, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, really. I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done and said to you, I hope one day you find it in you to forgive me.”

She only started crying harder at his words, because really it hadn’t even crossed her mind for a minute that she’d ever have to forgive him, he was already forgiven in her heart, no matter how wrong that was.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay. You’re okay now, I promise. Listen, why don’t you let me take you home? I can ask Bryan to give you the day off, I’m sure he’ll understand”.

She knew it was very unprofessional to ask for a day off in the middle of filming because of something so foolish and personal, and quite frankly she didn’t want to, but at the same time her head was pounding so badly and all she wanted to do was rest, so she just nodded while still keeping her head in the crook of Ben’s neck and her arms wrapped around his torso. 

“You’re gonna have to let go of me for a minute though, love” he tried to joke, but there really wasn’t much humor in his guilt laced voice. Nonetheless she obeyed and unwrapped herself from around him, allowing him to get a good look at her face and body. Her skin was reddened, probably from the hot beverage that had been spilled on it, her face was stained with tears and she was shaking, both from the cold of the bare bathroom and from the wave of anxiety that had struck her moments before. 

She was a mess but she still looked so gracefully beautiful to him, and he wondered how he could have harmed such a sweet creature like herself. He carefully reached for a towel and wetted it with warm water, then ran it over her upper chest, trying to get rid of the stickiness left from before.

“I’m gonna go talk to Bryan now, just wait here for me, okay?” He felt like he was talking to a child, his tone being overly calm and kind, but she looked extremely distressed and he didn’t know how to act around her very well, so he just went with it.

She nodded and went to put her shirt back on, but was quickly stopped by a gentle hand.

“I have a spare shirt that you can wear, I’m sure that one doesn’t feel too comfortable any longer”.

For a minute he swore he’d caught a glimpse of a smile starting to form on her face and his heart swelled with joy and admiration for the woman in front of him, the same one he used to admire many years before when he was still just a young boy and she was a successful actress who seemed unreachable and unobtainable to him. The same face that was printed on one of his posters in his childhood bedroom was now staring right at him in real life and he wished he’d never been so horrible to her.

She was his Y/N after all, that same Y/N in all of his favorite movies from years ago, the same Y/N he used to worship like the goddess she was during his teen years. He realized she hadn’t changed that much and was still just as beautiful as ever and just as deserving of his admiration. 

More now than ever before, actually. Not only was she extremely beautiful, but she’d proven to him that she could be kind, selfless and generous with anyone, no matter what, and that made her even more gorgeous and him even more unworthy of her kindness.

As he left the room to get her a shirt and talk to Bryan, Y/N couldn’t help but feel grateful that he was around, no matter how cruel he’d been to her in the beginning. He must have had a reason, she would definitely question him about it later. 

“Y/N, love, I’m driving you home” he said as he came back and handed her his oversized t-shirt.

She put it on and immediately felt comfort as his smell took over her, making a small smile appear and brighten up the features of her pretty face.

He swore he would have married her right then and there, then he laced their fingers together and led her to his car. 

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 12

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Thanks a lot to @ilovemygaydad for updating y’all about my wifi situation, the wifi works semi-well now, and... well...

WRITING THIS CHAPTER WAS HELL AND A HALF AND IM SO GLAD ITS FINALLY FINISHED.

Ahem. Excuse me. I have a couple of very important things to say, though.

If any of you haven't read the latest chapter of Keep Him Safe, which is right here, please go do so. I read it the moment it was posted and... I was at dinner with my family, so I had to hold in my squealing... to be perfectly honest with y'all, I already knew what was going to happen in that chapter since I started writing chapter three, I think...? So I have known about this for a very long time, but it still made me super happy to see it actually happen in writing. So... go read KHS, y'all. You really should. It's awesome.

(Quick update: I checked my screenshots and... yeah, I've known about that since July, which is when I started writing this fic. Again, I've known about what happened in sleep for six months, and surprisingly didn't spoil almost any of it to anyone around me. I deserve a fucking prize.)

To anyone who just came over from Eva's shameless plugging of me - hello, nice to have you here. In this fucked up piece of angst we discuss queer history as well as Remy's personal history, or - as I said to myself while reading and re-reading what Eva has to say about this fic - "well, this story is as much about queer history as it is about Remy, where he came from, where he's going, where he came from cotton eye joey'n". And to anyone who's a regular reader, I'm so glad you're sticking around to read this... this thing. It's become a monster in my head, I can promise you that much.

As always, thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original idea, to @whatwashernameagain for the original fic (can you believe it’s been six months since we came up with chapter 23?), to @anony-phangirl and @asleepybisexual and @winglessnymph for the help wherever needed, and a special one to Morgan - again - for helping me get the word out. All of those people are my shining stars and I love them so much.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemygaydad (thanks again, kiddo!), @violetblossem. @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch

(Wanna be tagged? Just lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter discusses rape again, this time in a bit more detail (nothing graphic, it’ll never be graphic, I promise), and includes a... panic attack of sorts. Be warned.

—————

January 24th, 2003

Emile's smile faltered.

"...so what if I got raped?" He muttered, putting down the stack of chairs he was holding. "What's done is done. They had their fun—"

"They…?" India tilted her head. Oh shoot… "There was more than one person?"

"More like three… what? Why are you looking at me like—"

The stack India was holding fell to the floor.

"Did you tell anyone?" Emile stared at the floor. Maybe she'll go away if he doesn't cooperate. "Emile! Did you tell anyone?"

"I told the doctors…" Emile's voice faltered. "What's going on?"

"I'm surprised you're even alive right now!" India's pacing was… terrifying. For some reason… she suddenly just… turned so scary. "Mixing date rape drugs with alcohol, which is what I'm assuming happened to you, is so dangerous! And I'm only assuming that's what happened because I heard from Remy that they found GHB traces—"

"I'm not proud," Emile managed to stutter. "Of… all this. I just… I can drink, okay? I made some mistakes in the past—"

"You're seventeen!"

"I made some mistakes in the past, and… this one makes me feel like all those mistakes have been trying to tell me that I shouldn't exist…"

"No… no, peach, please." He already started crying by the time she stepped in to hug him. "I get that. I really do. Sometimes I think about how much better my life might've been if I pretended like I'm 'cured' of being transgender after conversion. My cousin wouldn't have done what she did, that's the biggest plus. But… I wouldn't have come here. I wouldn't have started on my way to become a statistics analyst. I wouldn't have met Jenna. I would probably be living a sad, closeted life back home, and that isn't such a nice thing."

"You were too…?"

"I was too, yeah… as victims, we gotta stick to each other."

The wet spots on India's sweater were getting larger by the second. But she didn't mind it.

"Like I was told when I was sixteen," she said, much quieter than before. "Nobody is going to believe a man who says he was raped. We gotta stick together, whether we like it or not."

——

"Hey, isn't that that friend of yours?" Remy heard behind him about two minutes before the meeting started.

Oh, good.

"Hey, didn't you deliberately choose to forget that I live in the other side of the US from you because you wanted to be a little fuck?" Remy asked back, looking at Chris turn redder than a tomato.

"I swear to god, I had no idea!"

"Suck it and your excuses, Mendez."

"Hey, hey… come on, Remy. Won't you at least let me make it up to you?"

Remy couldn't stay angry… well, he could. But not as angry. It was a stupid reason, too…

"I will." Chris beamed at him. "But it'll take a very long time."

"...you have a week."

"I won't let you down," Chris said with the same wide, obnoxious grin, quickly kissing Remy's cheek and taking a seat.

Fuck him and his obnoxious self.

On the third of January, Remy and Emile sat down on the hotel bed in what was probably the fanciest hotel Remy's ever been to (though he never really visited any hotels in his life, no time or money for that). They were listening to Gustav Holst's The Planets as Emile performed a one-man dramatic reading of No Exit, and Remy couldn't feel more at peace.

This situation right here - all the people, all the tension, Chris right there a few steps away from him - was the exact opposite.

"Do you want me to leave?" A quiet voice said and Remy felt himself being squeezed so tight, he was sure his ribs would crack. Emile. "I can leave if you—"

"Come on, sit next to me," Remy said as quietly and took a rather far seat from Chris. Serves him right.

"Happy Friday, everyone," India opened the meeting. "I see that we got some new people after the break, so we're going to do another name round. Who wants to start?"

Emile raised his hand almost immediately.

"I'm Emile, I'm— do we mention our major?"

"If you want to."

"I'm Emile, I'm a psychology major, and I'm probably gay. Or asexual. I just… don't really know if I'm more gay or asexual yet."

——

Monday, January 27th

"Look, I find some of what you teach suspect," Emile hummed to himself as he skipped behind Remy back to their building after a particularly entertaining sols 20 class. "Because I'm used to relying on intellect, but I try to open up to what I don't know, because reason says I should've died three years ago…"

"Em, stop it," Remy half-laughed. "I get it, you're still thinking about Rent."

"It was such a good show!" Emile whined - well, sort of. "Jai Rodriguez was really good!"

"I met Idina Menzel through this," Remy said with another chuckle. "She's nice… kind of a diva, if you ask me."

"So… like you?"

"What do you mean, like me?"

"Nice, but kind of a diva." Emile nudged him. "I'll bet you she's totally selfless and sweet but acts like she doesn't care about anything in the world—"

"No, actually… she isn't." Remy sighed. The memories were foggy - it was over eight years ago - but… "Dad is working on some project with her again. Her and Kristin Chenoweth…"

"Kristin?" Emile shrieked. "Good golly, I love her! She's so sweet and talented!"

"I'm really not supposed to tell you anything," Remy laughed, and then stopped.

A figure made him freeze at his doorstep. A small, shaking figure, with braided brown hair and an ill-fitting, black, puffy coat.

Leah was rapidly knocking on Remy's suite door.

——

"Why did you think it was a good idea to come here?" Remy asked, careful not to scream. Leah sat in the living room, her hair dripping wet from the shower he made her take, wrapped up in the clothes she brought with her in her lime green schoolbag. She was waiting on her hot chocolate.

"I wanted to."

"How did you even get a bus ticket? You're seven!"

"I took money from mom and went to the bus station!" Leah huffed. "I know where the buses are, and I know how to—"

"I didn't say you don't know, Leah Mae," Remy chastised, putting the cup of hot chocolate on the table quite forcefully. "But you're seven years old! This was incredibly dangerous of you—"

"I don't wanna live at home anymore!" Leah screamed. "Mom was mean all of Christmas, and Lizzie wasn't being nice when we went back to school, she didn't want me to be her friend anymore, and Rachel was annoying—"

"Sweetie, they're going to think I kidnapped you!" Leah was taken aback. Remy was worried to the point of terrifying. "They're going to think I kidnapped you, Leah. It won't end well!"

"I didn't think…" the tears started coming out. Oh shit… "I didn't mean it! I just… I don't like being home! Don't be mad at me!"

"Oh, baby, no, I'm not mad at you!" Remy was quick to take her in for a hug. His poor baby sister… "I'm just worried, Leah. Extremely worried. Never do such a thing ever again, okay?" She nodded in his arms. "There's nothing we can do about this now, but—"

The door opened with a bang, and "I brought the bunnies!"

Leah immediately perked up. Mycroft tried to hop straight into her lap the moment he was close enough, since he already knew her and was very worried for the tiny human, but Lestrade took his time getting to know her. She was new, and he didn't know her yet, and what if she wasn't going to be nice?

"Leah, this is Lestrade," Emile said with a huge smile, closing the door and coming to cuddle them all - Remy included. "He's Mycroft's brother, and I adopted him after Christmas!"

"But you don't celebrate Christmas."

"No I don't, but you do." He booped her nose, making her giggle. "Lestrade is a nice boy. Give him a bit, he'll jump into your lap in no time."

As Leah entertained herself, playing with the bunnies and telling them stories, Remy pulled Emile to the side.

"She ran away from home!"

"I heard that when you asked me to go get the bunnies, Remy."

"She's seven years old! What do I do with a seven-year old runaway? Is it even a thing? A seven-year old runaway?"

Emile kisses Remy's cheek quicker than he could process it happening. "It's going to be fine. Call Linda, let her know that Leah is here—"

"Leah asked me not to tell anyone she's here," Remy sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.

"I understand, but… Linda is still your mom. Leah is still seven years old. She needs to go home, whether you like it or not." When Remy still seemed like he's having trouble processing it, Emile pulled him into a hug. "Do you want me to talk to her about it for you?"

Remy could only say a very weak "yes please" before Emile went back to the couch, to talk to Leah.

He was jittering. He was angry, and scared, and disappointed, and proud, and he felt everything so intensely and was so shocked and confused that he couldn't name it. He barely turned eighteen last July, he didn't even know how to drive yet, and he was absolutely, most definitely, going to be in trouble for this seven-year old child showing up at his door after running away from home.

He wasn't going to call Linda. But he couldn't keep Leah over. And he didn't know shit about raising children, for the period of time he was going to have Leah over, until he figures out what to do. Remy wanted to scream, how much he wanted to. But he couldn't.

So he did the next best thing he could do. He dropped to the floor and started crying.

He was too tired, physically and emotionally, to pick himself back up at that particular moment.

[e-vasong]

Me, scREECHING AT THE NEW CHAPTER ! I went to check for a new update and there wasn't one, so I started rereading and!! bEFORE MY EYES THE MIRACLE HAPPENED SUDDENLY IT WENT FROM 5/? TO 6/? CHAPTERS THANK YOU I swear I nearly died @ Izuku when he was IN TOSHI'S HOME and he's like "wow I love all might he's the greatest but I don't think I'll ever be able to meet him" and Toshi! I'm sobbin imagining him sitting there, touched, the child is too pure,, f ather an so n bo ndin g (1/4)

And wOW I HATE/LOVE VICIOUS BECAUSE HES AwFuL and the WORST and needs to be slaughtered but he’s!! such a well-written interesting character!! I love all the ocs in this fic they’re just. So good?? Especially Ren and Ms. Nakayama. Kindest souls,, i want to hug them both so badly theyre so sweet Also?? Izuku is literally: “wow I’m the worst most selfish person alive” he says, as he performs countless selfless acts and constantly risks his life or even agonizing torture over stuff like… (2/4) from his kindly neighbor lady’s groceries to saving people’s actual lives,, the boy is too kind and too good to be treated this way, hello server can u give this plate of ‘Izukus happiness’ to that green-haired gentleman over there I’d like my son to be okay please Also also every time I envision izuku once he’s been caught I think of Present Mic… (¾) four-part anon here, im stupidly embarrassed about the last part not sending… I believe what it said was basically about Present Mic coming to talk to Izuku after hes found out and being disappointed and concerned about him, all quiet and calm and just lacking his usual grandiose and Izuku just sinking down in his seat with tears in his eyes because his sensei is disappointed in him, he can’t even explain himself, hes trash. So sorry about any confusion, and thank you for such a good chapter :) 

Ah! Hey, don’t be embarrassed!!  Tumblr eats asks all the time, I just wanted to make sure that I could answer your message as fully as possible! :D

Hahahha oh my GOD that’s always such a fun feeling.  I love it when the universe just lines up so that there’s a coincidence like that!  

And oh man, I had so much fun writing the scene where Izuku was at Toshinori’s place?  I’m really glad you liked reading it.  The dramatic irony of it was great, and it was really fun to get to explore their dynamic as Toshinori and Izuku.  Also, I’m a big sucker for the trope where one person doesn’t know the true identity of the person they’re speaking with, so I got such a kick out of writing about Izuku being like “:’) All might is the fucking best” while Toshinori sits on his couch like, internally weeping.  Especially since I don’t see Toshinori as the sort of person who has let his fame get to his head… at all? (like, in canon, he mainly laments losing OFA bc it means he can’t serve as the symbol of peace and protect people anymore.  Not once does he get upset over the loss of fame and fortune.)  So I imagine All Might as the sort of person who takes genuine compliments like??? Really intensely???Someone: man, i really admire all might, he makes me want to be a better person!toshinori, already in tears: i see! thats amazing! good for you!

Asdkjlasjdjadll this scenario you’ve presented is especially sad to me because….I don’t see Present Mic meaning it in a bad way?  I can see him going “I’m disappointed that you didn’t come to us for help.  You put yourself and others at risk, and you really worried all of us.”  

And Izuku’s just like *immediately tearing up* “I know, I’m sorry.  I’m the worst”

and Present Mic’s like ??? “thats not what i meant at all, oh my god, no, don’t cry, i’m begging you the others are going to fucking kill me”

on the other hand, I could see him being the best person to break it to Izuku that Izuku’s way of handling the situation was incorrect?  Izuku’s hero worship of All Might is so strong that I feel like any semblance of reprimand from him would be too upsetting, and Aizawa, for all his best intentions, is definitely not the sort of person to sugarcoat his words and I think?  Probably just comes off as a bit harsh at times?  Maybe even at times when he doesn’t want to.

Whereas I see Present Mic as the sort who could be straight up with Izuku about the stuff he did wrong while also having the sensitivity and tact to make sure that ultimately Izuku doesn’t come out the other side of the conversation blaming himself too much?

I’m tired, and I haven’t proofread this, so sorry if it’s incoherent.

[van-dyne]

Any tony centric fanfic recommendations?

Anonymous said: Do you read tony stark fanfics? If so, who is your favorite writers??

I am so sorry for taking so long to get to this, I don’t have an organised system to keep the fics that I’ve read, I mostly just download it on my ipad so it’s a big pile of mess but I do have Tony fics that I would love to share 💜  They’re as requested, Tony Centric, and ratings are all Gen/Teens up. If I didn’t specify, either there’s little to no pairing or it’s canon pairing (Tony/Pepper) in the background

Because I said so: Adventures in Parenting (with commentary by Peter Parker)  by Nickygp (Updating) 

The vulture is gone, and Peter is back to being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman. Only this time, his aunt is watching him like a hawk, because “you can get hurt Peter!” and Tony Stark is going right along with it - oh and so are all of Tony’s close friends.

Comments: Everything I love, I love fics that weave canon and fanon together nicely, it explores the relationships we don’t have the luxury to watch it on screen, so basically the Iron fam and Peter and May and friends, bonus Harley are now one big happy family and it’s so sweet and heartwarming and I love it so much

Parental Guidance by FriendLey

What if Howard and Maria Stark never died but are bored, retired parents worrying over Tony and nagging him to finally marry that charming girl Virginia, bring home some friends who is not just composed of Rhodey, and for crying out loud when is he going to give them grandchildren?

Comments: A Perfect World AU basically, and I adore it :’)

5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud by grilledcheesing

Post Spider-Man: Homecoming — Tony is just trying his damn hardest to keep this reckless kid from Queens safe, but it’s hard when Peter is, occasionally, ridiculous as all hell.

Comments: THIS IS SO FUN AND DELIGHTFUL, I actually laughed out loud so many times reading it.

Three Times Tony Took Care of Everyone and Once When They Took Care of Him by sunbean72

Comments: Post Homecoming. This fic is so heartwarming and sweet, 100% mood lifting. 100% must read. Tony is so loved

An Ache That Doesn’t Go Away by rebelmeg

This fic picks up immediately after the scene cuts in Siberia, with Steve and Bucky walking away and Tony lying on the cement. In the time between the end scenes of Civil War, and before Homecoming picks up, this is what happens to Tony, from his and a few others’ POVs, as he tries to heal emotionally and physically from the events in Civil War.

Comments: Rip my heart out, and put it back softly again. Angst. But it’s okay, it’s angst with hope.

Welcome to the Family by FriendLey

Peter Parker spends time with Tony’s family. Happy is annoyed, Rhodey is amused, Pepper gets an assistant, and Tony feels betrayed.

Comments: Fluff, Pure fluff

In Retrospect, Maybe We Can We Compromise? by deedeejadexo

Kind, caring, genius and brilliant physicist Doctor Bruce Banner comes to in the most unlikely of places after his adventures with Thor. And for the life of him, he can not figure out how and why the Other Guy would bring him here, of all places. How long has passed this time? And what’s happened on Earth during the last two years during his absence? Where’s Steve and all the other Avengers? Something doesn’t feel right to Bruce. What isn’t Tony telling him?

Comments: After Ragnarok, plus those on set pictures we’ve seen (Tony & Bruce hugging) I honestly can’t wait for Bruce to return to Earth and reunite with Tony. A bit bitter sweet, but it nails Tony and Bruce friendship

5 Valentine’s Pepper and Tony didn’t Spend as a Couple +1 They Spent as a Family by Kizmet

Pepper and Tony’s relationship going through ups and downs over six valentines between 1994 and 2021 (and Rhodey keeps sneaking in somehow)

Comments: Pairing: Pepper/Tony Focused I love the perspectives they give, especially love it when they fill in some blanks pre movies and in-between movies. I love the pre Iron Man world, it makes me feel nostalgic

How It Should Have Been (And Maybe How It Was) by rebelmeg

Tony Stark was surrounded by love his whole life. His mother adored every bit of him from the moment she knew she was pregnant. Peggy was the most devoted godmother that ever lived. Edwin and Ana Jarvis treasured him as the closest thing they would ever have to their own child.But even with all that love… Tony still struggled, because the man that should have understood him best barely gave him a glance.

Comments: AUNT PEGGY!!!!! WHAT WE DESERVE. The greatest crime of Civil War is ripped us off that very likely canon relationship between Tony and Peggy. This one fixes it. :)

5 Times Peter Didn’t Call Tony for Help (and should have) by JBS_Forever (updating)

 Tony gives Peter a panic button. He should have known better than to think the kid would actually use it when he was in trouble.

Comments: A Stressed Out Dad Tony basically I love his spiderson

Tony Stark: Terrible Villain Extraordinaire by starspangledsprocket

In a universe where Tony’s drive for retribution over Obie’s betrayal turns him into a villain (kinda), he finds himself at a strange impasse with leader of the Avengers, Captain America.

Comments: Pairing: (Pre) Steve/TonyHe really doesn’t know how to villain lmao it’s a really cute AU and I always love fanfic Steve

Reunion by the_writer1988 (updating)

In Civil War, Tony and Pepper are on a break… yet the events of Siberia may just bring them back together and towards a future Tony had wanted for them ever since 2008.

Comments: Pairing: Pepper/Tony focusedBecause Marvel doesn’t show us how they get back togetherI love that this fic doesn’t just gloss over it, it is a working progress, for both of them, and it’s not always sunshines and rainbows.

Kidding Around by MusicalLuna

Tony may not be the most self-aware guy in the world, but there are a few things he knows:1. Iron Man and Tony Stark are one and the same,2. he’d make a terrible father,3. and his teammates don’t trust him.So naturally, he’s the only man left standing when Loki ages them all back to toddlers. This is going to go well.

Comments: AU where the Avengers actually love Tony only they didn’t know how to show it. Fluff and angst.

What Water Is by heyjupiter

Bruce Banner went back to India in hopes of keeping his head down and staying out of trouble, but Tony Stark sought him out for some unqualified advice.

Comments: Pairing: (Past) Bruce/TonyFilling in the reason why Tony, out of all places, chooses India.Very gentle and sweet, and I just love how they capture the dynamics between Tony and Bruce.

Take Hold of Your Broken Heart (You Don’t Owe Them Any Part of You) by HarperRose (Harper_Rose) (updating)

It takes a teenager, a series of phone calls, and a selfless act followed by a selfish one to heal Tony’s broken heart. And he might just find family along the way.

Comments: I love a good post civil war Tony centric fic, not too bitter, not too forgiving, it’s believable, and it’s constructive. I always love it when Tony is like why be bitter when you can be better

There’s a First Time for Everything by sydiy5bea (updating)

Life’s been rough for Tony these past few weeks. From the move to the Accords to a freaking teenager… yeah, he’s got his hands full. When a spaceship crashes in his backyard, it doesn’t really phase him. He honestly should’ve expected as much.

Comments: Looking forward to their updates, because the Guardians crashing on Tony’s backyard is always a promising fun ride, and now throw Spider in the mix, yes please :D

[blufics]

Eremika Week, Day 1- Superheroes/Crossover

Title: Lucky

Pairing: Eren/ Mikasa

Syn: After a certain infamous superhero visits a certain girl’s balcony, Mikasa’s perception is shifted. As is Eren’s. (Miraculous Ladybug AU)

“Isn’t it a school night?”

Mikasa jumped, the impression that she had been enjoying her view of the city alone shattered abruptly. She looked up, and was unsurprised to see him.

Chat Noir, to the rest of Paris, was a hero. Famous for his vigilante tirades, he had turned from an urban legend to something of a celebrity within a matter of months.

To Mikasa, however, he was simply a charming nuisance.

“Evening, Chat,” she greeted. “Gotten into any trouble, lately?”

“No. Not yet, anyway,” he replied with a wink. She rolled her eyes, used to his tacky, meaningless flirting. “Just out scouting. Thought I’d visit my favorite damsel in distress.”

With an incredulous look, Mikasa murmured, “I’m no one’s damsel.”

He simply laughed in response. “I believe it,” he agreed, though Mikasa knew he never could truly understand the truth of the statement.

See, if Chat Noir was a hero, his crime-fighting partner, Ladybug, was nothing short of a Messiah. He was commonly described as her sidekick in local media, and he never seemed to have an issue with the assumption, as he did work under her instructions, for the most part. It was rare to see him take down a villain in a solo operation; where the Chat could be seen in a fight, Ladybug would be paralleling him, hardly yards away.

And, funny enough, Ladybug just so happened to be standing with Chat Noir at that very moment- on that same balcony, out of costume, and with a different name. Not that he had any idea.

“You know,” he said, running a hand through messy brown locks, “I wasn’t joking. You really are my favorite-”

“Damsel?” she challenged.

“Citizen,” he corrected with a smirk. “I can just talk to you, you know? And you actually listen. You’re, like, my only friend, to be honest.”

Mikasa’s brow furrowed. She tried to keep herself from looking offended.

“Doesn’t Ladybug talk to you?” she asked.

“Well, yeah, but it’s not the same.”

She stared at him. “What do you mean?”

Chat grew quiet. Mikasa raised an eyebrow; she’d never seen him at a loss for words before.

“What is it?” she prodded. He glanced at her, then flicked his eyes away, taking a deep breath.

“Well,” he sighed. “She’s my friend, yeah, but it’s- I can’t talk to her like I talk to you. I’m….kind of in love with her.”

“Oh.” Mikasa’s neck grew hot; thankfully, Chat couldn’t tell. “Well, that sucks.”

“I know,” he agreed. “The one person who gets what it’s like, this whole superhero thing, and I can’t bring myself to say more to her than a few shitty cat puns.”

“I don’t know about that. You two seem pretty close.”

He scoffed. “If you call business talk and my awkward flirting close, then sure. We’re besties.”

“I’m sure your relationship is more than that. From the looks of things, she at least cares for you.”

He shook his head, eyes lost in the view of the city below. “Not the way I care about her.”

Mikasa frowned, unsure of how to counter that. She’d never bothered to think of Chat as anything but a friend, and she wasn’t really sure if she had the capacity to do so in that moment.

Luckily, Chat sighed and turned back to her with a rueful smile, seemingly back to his old self.

“What about you?” he asked, his tone somewhat teasing. “Anyone in this city catch your fancy?”

Her entire face flushed, as she had immediately come up with an answer to that.

“Promise you won’t tell?” she said quietly.

Chat grinned. “Who would I tell?”

She found herself smiling back, though at the sight of his eyes- huge and green, just like someone else she knew- her gaze quickly dropped once more. She focused shyly on the golden lights beneath the balcony.

“This guy in my class,” she admitted. “It’s pretty stupid-”

“What’s his name?” asked Chat, suddenly bright with intrigue.

Mikasa smiled warmly down upon their city when she answered, “Eren. Eren Jaeger.”

“....Wow.”

Wow, indeed.

Eren stared at Mikasa, as if really seeing her for the first time. He’d always admired her in class for her diligence, intelligence, and quiet, humble kindness. And, since getting to know her in the skin of Chat Noir, he’d found that she was even more than that. Her diligence was pure chivalry; her intelligence was boundless; her kindness was honest and selfless. And on top of that, she gave great advice, and had a wonderful listening ear.

He didn’t know how he felt, however, about her confession- unintentional, sure, but all the more genuine. On the one hand, he knew with all of his heart, mind, and soul that he was in love with Ladybug. And he knew he would likely never feel any less for her.

On the other….

“What’s he like? This ‘Eren’ of yours?”

Mikasa snorted, resting her elbows on the balcony rail as her gaze lowered dreamily. “Oh,” she said, “he’s just….amazing. I mean, he’s popular, sure, but he’s so much more than that. So...pure. He always goes out of his way to help everyone around him. Even people he obviously doesn’t like. I mean, I’ve seen him get into fights with kids on the behalf of someone else. And our principal doesn’t cut him any slack, either, so it’s kind of a big deal, if you think about it. It’s so crazy.”

“Huh.” Chat blinked at her. “Seems like a decent guy.”

“I personally owe him, you know,” Mikasa told him.

“How’s that?” This was the first he’d heard of this.

“I lost my mom last year,” she said. This, he had known. “I thought I was handling it all pretty well. I made myself go to school, because I knew she would’ve wanted me to, and I thought that it was helping me get past the whole thing.”

“Doesn’t sound like it worked,” Chat remarked.

She shook her head in confirmation. “It was an awful idea,” she agreed. “And one day, I just broke down. Started crying, at lunch, trying to hide my face so no one could see it. But, funny enough- he noticed. And he came to talk to me.”

“What did he say?” Eren asked.

“Well, even though I told him I was fine, he stayed there with me. Then he asked if I wanted to sit in his car for a bit, to have some alone time. And I got a really good break in there, from everyone. When he came back to check on me, we started talking, and he told me he’d lost his mom, too. He told me I was strong, and that he thought I was incredible, for bothering to try and keep on with my life, but that I should maybe take a break. And, you know, he was right. I took that break, and now here I am, back on my feet. Thanks to him.”

Chat most definitely remembered all of this, but he’d never seen it as Mikasa had described it. He had simply seen himself in her place, and, without thinking, extended the hand he’d always wished someone had given him. He’d never considered the idea that his one act of empathy would touch her so deeply, and he wasn’t entirely sure how that realization made him feel.

“He really sounds like a nice guy,” was all he could think to say.

“And Ladybug must be great to work with.”

He stared at her, observing details he hadn’t noticed before. Things like the small scar on her cheek, and the way her eyes shifted shades, from grey to blue and blue to grey, as the light hit her from different angles. He watched her take in Paris, in all its glory and its night air, from her peak of a balcony, and something about the way she combed her hair behind her ear possessed him to say, “What if I told you that I was actually Eren?”

She turned to look at him, startled. Then, just as he was beginning to panic, she burst into laughter.

Though mildly offended for no definite reason, he found himself grinning. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Nothing at all,” she dismissed, concealing her giggles with her hand. “You two are just very different people. Very, very different.”

That, at least, brought a short, somewhat mischievous chuckle from him.

“Some people have a lot more in common than you think,” he told her.

“Well, then,” she replied, “what if I told you I was Ladybug?”

“I’d laugh, just like you did,” he conceded, “so touche. Too-fucking-shay, Mikasa.”

Yeah, he thought with a wistful exhale. If only I were so lucky.

If only I were so lucky, she thought as their laughter faded.

“Well,” he announced, “I should go. Crime to fight. Damsels to save. You get me.”

“Damsels? Are you cheating on me, Chat?”

“There’s plenty of me to go around, Mikasa. Enough for the whole city.”

“And yet, you give me the biggest piece of the pie.” Her lips stretched into a smile. “I’m grateful.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“I’ll try not to.”

“Good. Later, then.”

With a wave, the hero swung down from the rail and into the urban ocean surrounding Mikasa’s island.

“If only,” she sighed, her words hardly as loud as the night’s breeze in her ears.

“Hey- Mikasa.”

She stiffened, almost afraid to meet his eyes.

Eren Jaeger, of all people, had happened to run into her on her way to school.

Mikasa didn’t know whether to be overjoyed or completely and utterly panicked.

“Hey….Eren,” she mumbled, trying and failing miserably at sounding natural. “What- I mean, why-”

“Didn’t feel like driving today,” he said with a shrug. “You wanna walk with me?”

“....Me? Walk? With you?”

She had to be sure that that was what he’d asked.

“Yeah. I mean, if you want to walk alone, that’s fine, I just thought-”

“I’d love to,” she interjected. “Walk with you.”

He grinned, green eyes sparkling. “Great! Then let’s hustle.”

Now, if you consider slowing and stopping often as they talked in-depth and prolonged a 10-minute walk into thirty minutes ‘hustling’, then they most definitely did hustle.

“You all patrolled out?”

Chat nodded, stretching his arms. “All ready to go home and take a nice cat nap.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes at the awful excuse for a joke. “I won’t dignify that with a valid response,” she told him.

“Wow,” he scoffed in mock-indignation, “looks like you could use a nap too, Lady. You wanna crash with me?” With this, he inserted an awful, tackily sly grin.

Ladybug snorted. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself,” he sang. “I guess I’ll go, now.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow, Chat.”

“And Lady?”

She looked at him. “Yes?”

“You’re awesome,” he told her with a wink. “Just wanted to let you know.”

Something warm stuttered in Mikasa’s chest at that. Without thinking, her hand gripped his shoulder as she pressed her lips to his cheek- which, in turn, began to rise in temperature.

“You’re….awesome, too,” she stammered. “Great work today.”

“I work with the best,” he laughed, his face bright red. “Later, then.”

“Later.”

And the two grinning idiots went their separate ways, for the time being. Hustling home.

Maybe, they each thought later, we’re luckier than we realize.

AN: I’m a sucker for this AU with eremika. Have been, always will be.

[straane]

yuna & flaws.

this is a subject I briefly kinda hinted at in my tuna post & found myself wanting to properly tackle. I've occasionally seen criticism of Yuna's character dismissing her as "the perfect woman" with no manifest flaws or the sorta faux "acing that job interview" type of flaws such as working too hard, being too selfless, being too kind etc. that are basically strengths masquerading as weaknesses and only really add to her inhuman excellence. and literally there's this one NPC chillin at the Moonflow that gives this highly refined character analysis: "Yuna embodies perfection". well, let's break this thing down, shall we?

and before I start, let it be known that I personally genuinely adore flawed characters, doesn't matter what type of flaws; it's something that to me, recommends a character and gets me invested in their story & struggles so yeah basically the bigger the human disaster and the more varied their range of f**kup the greater my fondness of them – and at the same time I'm a big fan of virtuous, noble-minded, goody-good sorta heroes so it's not really an anti-hero/anti-villain thing either. LOVE the latter lot as well but it's not like they own flaws if you know what I mean

someone'll ask me why i like x and i'm like off the top of my head they're just so dumb and completely obnoxious and  mediocre at everything i love it

so what I'm saying is me talking yuna & flaws is actually a great compliment to her & an expression of my abundant love & adoration

so let's address her

1. workaholic tendencies/excessive selflessness/excessive kindness. so are these real defects or sneaky supplemental strengths or the sly ploys of employee hopefuls? well I might as well fully embrace that metaphor and assert that throughout the pilgrimage, Yuna is actually doing a sort of prolonged large-scale job interview. I mean, she already got the job – business card says 'fully-fledged summoner' – yay – but what she's really shooting for is 'Spira's ray of light', an all-around national hero figure and constant 24/7 source of inspiration, comfort & consolation (not to mention hands-on aid) symbol of hope & salvation etc etc. AND eventual concrete salvation lol. basically, yes, she is aiming for an inhuman standard. there's a lot of internal & external pressure on her, she's constantly hyper-aware of her very demanding role as a summoner and to some extent putting on a performance – not really putting on an act (because damn right this girl is all kinds of compassionate and altruistic and noble and loving) but suppressing her individual rather more free-spirited & fun nature (that we see flashes of in FFX and an entire character arc built around in FFX-2)

perhaps you've met someone like this – some of them get quite good at keeping up the facade of perfection and self-sufficiency. Yuna at least is smart enough to show some transparency every now and then (like when she urges Shelinda not to put herself down, noting she's a beginner too). if she didn't, I don't think we'd like her as much. BUT even when she does, you can tell she's still quite conscious and cautious of her word choices and appearance and behavior and I actually think Hedy Burress's slow and pensive delivery is perfect here and beautifully underlines this aspect of her character. 

2. excessive self-reliance/overconfidence/internal arrogance. her own words, "oh no, I was... overconfident." (btw, I really love it when characters show self-awareness of their faults, subverts a lot of ‘cool’ character tropes) so basically, tho Yuna would have us believe otherwise – I think the whole summoner thing has gotten to her head a tad. not externally – she looks, sounds, feels, smells and tastes all kinds of humble and modest, especially next to the likes of Dona – but is it all just a part of her 'daughter of Braska and future savior and relentless champion of goodness and hope' veneer? consider her actions, and you'll see she often overestimates her own abilities. yuna: "stand back! I'll summon!" seymour: "gurl pls" she outright refuses to share absolutely world-shatteringly important and critical information about Seymour with her guardians; instead lies to their faces, and comes up with a thoughtless plan to confront him herself (and then do what? ‘stop’ him? she fails to send him several times even in the presence of her guardians and when she goes to face him at Macalania Temple he ain't even dead yet lol) and basically starts a domino chain of events that eventually puts them all in extreme danger. now, one might wonder, a) does she truly think so little of her guardians – people mostly older and more experienced than her; whose literal full-time job it is to keep her safe from any and all danger – and their ability to handle unexpected twists and turns (AURON??? LULU??? come ON Yunie) that she would not trust them with this info and thought they'd only get in the way and genuinely thinks her oh-so-thorough-A+++ plans superior to anything they might have to contribute? unlikely. even Auron makes this observation. b) was she only graciously trying to protect said literal professional protectors? that's her own (initial) interpretation of the events, I'm sure. c) is there maybe an element of arrogance/pursuit of heroism/overestimation of own capability involved? glory-seeking might be a bit of a stretch, but seeing as in Spira in general there's this collective image of summoners as heroes and saviors and near superhuman beings... is she starting to, maybe just a little, believe the hype? I'm sorry but it makes me laugh everytime when I think of Yuna telling herself that 'sure i'll just go have a little chat with alleged murderer and maybe marry him if I have to, what could go wrong?? sure I have access to these six trusted friends and capable guardians all ready to jump off a cliff if I asked but this is really no biggie' it’s like that part in Frozen where Kristoff roasts Anna like “that’s your plan? talking to your sister??” except it’s much worse

(also my headcanon is that if that nosy temple attendant hadn't unearthed Jyscal’s sphere, Tidus would've, lol dude knows no shame or boundaries.)  

3. insecurity/craving positive feedback. ok, I'm cheating, these aren't flaws, and we all experience them. but I do think they are oft-overlooked aspects of her character and I also want to bring them up to emphasize that they can and very often do co-exist with overconfidence/extreme self-reliance (pushing us to prove ourselves etc.) 30 seconds into her first ever interaction with Tidus, she has an extremely strong positive response to his throwaway markedly non-expert compliment on her first aeon, and she immediately proceeds to ask this, again, completely clueless outsider whether he thinks she can become High Summoner (lmao that part just kills me he just nods like he just learned the word earlier that day and she's like -deep breath- 'this means so much to me') idk, that scene just always gave me the vibe that she kinda really needed to hear those words and I won't go as far as to say she craves attention/adoration cuz again, clearly she has very altruistic motives behind her chosen profession but that bit is not the only time she shows a sense of insecurity/desire for validation/acknowledgement. her first words after her first sending, to the first person she sees? "hope I did okay"(altho she's not making it all about her given that she is crying too and thus actually breaking her summoner 'pillar of strength' code)

her insecurity also leads to her mimicking others at times, like in the Eternal Calm prologue you get the sense that she feels that the “same as always” Yuna isn’t good enough (Rikku does sorta take the wrong tone there) and this results in her imitating her cousin with all that “oh poopie” silliness and at times kinda trying too hard to act more edgy/assertive (at least that’s my interpretation of her X-2 characterization ALTHO it also leads to very positive and much-needed character development) 

4. limited empathy/wanting things her way/and yes, sometimes making it all about her, there i said it. so yeah, if we take empathetic to mean nice and friendly, then yes, Yuna is obviously empathetic. but if we go with the actual definition as in "empathy = the ability to put yourself in another person's position / understand their feelings/experiences" I think she wayyyy struggles. heck, I think Lulu is the more empathetic of the two. let me explain. take any time Yuna & Tidus talk about Jecht. they more or less immediately come to the conclusion that they are in fact referring to the same person (at least she certainly does), yet Yuna never quite appreciates Tidus's perception of/history with Jecht, his own father. she is quick to protest his bashing with her own memory of a "kind and gentle man" (which is no less true/valid) and doesn't really seem to know how to handle the subject in conversation when his experiences so wildly clash with her own. even when she accurately perceives that he's hurting in Luca, she doesn't even try to inquire what's wrong or ask if there's anything she can do, but instead immediately relates his (unspecified and in actuality very specific and severe sort of) pain to her own experiences as a summoner and starts pushing onto him her own somewhat unhealthy if surprisingly fun coping techniques (thank you Yuna, for single-handedly bringing about the Greatest Scene ™ in FF history which I unironically adore). when she pep talks Shelinda (a great display of her kindness and thoughtfulness, as well as inability to understand other people's differing experiences and their nuances), again, she never asks her to elaborate on her situation but instead draws parallels to her own situation as a fledgling summoner. ('people are counting on me. oh and i'm sure they're counting on you too') neither does she ever ask Tidus what he wants to do in Spira, she asks him to be her guardian. even after her wish is granted (to be fair, it's what he found himself wanting as well) she checks with him whether he'll follow her all the way to Zanarkand, and when Tidus gives a very melancholy reply pointing out his own somewhat depressing reasons for the journey ('yea gotta see if my hometown's still there, it's probably not tho'), she makes this happy little noise. like... that's her takeaway. she clearly has a vision of how she wants things to play out and expects people to accommodate, whether she wants them there or not. ('I want him nearby' vs. 'I have to do this crazy stupid thing and I have to do it alone') contrast this with Lulu, who quite unlike Yuna, doesn't immediately become enamored with Tidus and his Zanarkand and his relation to a person she cherishes; but nevertheless starts helping him out immediately by educating him on Spiran customs/history (if that's not empathy/placing self in another person's position, idk what is) 

5. naivete/hesitation to question established truths I think I addressed this one in my MBTI post and my eyes are getting tired. she also eventually manages to completely flip this one around and make it into one of her strengths without losing a sense of idealism and optimism, what a heroine 

so anyway

-exits minefield- 

-immediately returns- basically feel free to disagree and/or point out any factual errors/aspects of her character that I missed, whether positive or negative. basically this is my personal interpretation of the character and as I said, pretty much my love letter to her

OR you could add to these (join the Yuna roast we have cookies bwahahaa)

[linkspooky]

Yuji vs Megumi: Round 2

The literal inciting incident of the manga is what starts the conflict between Yuji and Megumi. Yuji recklessly chooses to sacrifice himself without thinking of the consequences in an attempt to save Megumi, and Megumi is unable to stop Yuji and thus feels guilty for letting him get possessed by Sukuna. This conflict has continued throughout the manga with both boys wanting to save the other but falling into conflict instead. Chapter 119 analysis of Jujutsu Kaisen under the cut. 

1. Saving People vs. Saving Yuji

There’s always been a large difference in the way both Yuji and Megumi save people. Yuji wants to save everybody regardless of the cirucmstances. Megumi is mindful of the circumstances, and because of that he holds himself back from acting when he can. 

This difference is what leads to the first conflict. Yuji swallows the finger and sacrifices himself, and Megumi isn’t able to stop him in time. Ever since that day the two of them have had two different goals. Yuji wants to selflessly sacrifice his body for everyone after he’s ate all 20 fingers of Sukuna, and Megumi wants to selfishly save Yuji from his predicament because he feels responsible for letting Yuji eat the finger in the first place. 

Yuji believes that eating Sukuna’s fingers is a completely selfless gesture, and that by doing this and eventually choosing to die he will be helping more people. Megumi believes that protecting Yuji is his responsibility and he’ll be saving someone even if it goes against Jujutsu Regulations. They both cling onto a simple, heroic notion of saving people only for it to later get deconstructed for both of them. 

Megumi and Yuji’s first confrntation is in the Fearsome Womb arc. We see that Megumi’s not as altruistic as he appears to be. He sees a crying mother begging to see if her son is alright, and then says that same son isn’t worth saving while he’s alive because he committed a crime in the past. 

This gives us a more complex picture of saving people. Megumi is saying that people he personally deems as bad aren’t worth saving. Megumi doesn’t know if the man was sorry for what he did, or if he was trying to do better. He was simply judging him from black and white standards of bad or good. At this point before his confrontation with Yuji he’s seeing a crimminal, and not a person. Despite the fact that that person has done bad things, they are still a human being with people who care about him, the same way Megumi has loved ones. However, Megumi very, very selectively chooses who he empathizes with and who he sees as human based upon standards of good or bad. He’s lawful. He purposefully tries to hold himself back and obey laws because he craves that kind of order and justice. 

Megumi may not be right to approach saving people in such a black and white manner by dividing them into good and bad, but he does make a point that the act of saving people is messy. Basically, everything you make is a choice. The choice to save someone, or not save someone is also a choice. When you save them, that choice is going to have consequences. You are responsible for the consequences of your actions, both intended and unintended. What Megumi is saying is that the world is messy, and good intentions, or even good actions won’t always result in good results but you’re still responsible regardless.

Megumi very very selectively chooses who to save. He thinks if he’s careful with his choices, he can control the results more. However, the real reasult of his actions is that he’s always holding himself back, as Gojou and Sukuna have both pointed out. Megumi could have fought off a single finger cursed womb but chose not to, because he doesn’t want to take agency for himself.

He’s too afraid of the unintended consequences of his actions that it makes him hesitant to act. Whereas Yuji ignores the unintended consequences of his actions and rushes right in, and makes sloppy mistakes. This is a flaw that the two of them when working together can overcome, but it’s hard for them to work together. 

In the Origin of Obedience Arc which is the first arc where Yuji and Megumi fight together again after Yuji’s “Death”, this idea that who’s to say someone you save won’t kill someone in the future? comes back again. 

Yuji believes his action in consuming the fingers will save people. However, there are both intended and unintended consequences of his actions. Yuji’s choice to eat in the finger has the unintended consequence of triggering other curses elsewhere. People got hurt because of his decision. 

Yuji and Megumi both come to this revelation. However, rather than talk about it they also make a deliberate choice to hide this information from each other in the name of protecting each other from it. This is the only way that Yuji and Megumi know how to protect each other, not with open communication and cooperation, but with lying to each other, and each of them deciding to sacrifice themselves for the sake of the other. 

When Yuji and Megumi confront each other, and are forced to fight they come to personal revelations about themselves and develop their ideas. Megumi realized he wanted to save Yuji because of his own selfishness, he’s not someone who acts entirely lawful in every situation. Yuji realized he was afraid of dying, but wished for Megumi to have a long life. 

The manga isn’t suggesting that Yuji is entirely to blame for the people who get killed by Sukuna and the cursed spirits, it’s just saying the situation is more complex than either Megumi or Yuji thought it was. There will always be both intended and unintended consequences of Yuji’s actions, even if he only has good intentions, and he ahs to grapple with both. However, both Megumi and Yuji chose not to face that fact at this point in time. 

Jujutsu Kaisen is a manga that questions the heroic notions of saving people, and being saved. It is always more complicated, and difficult that it appears to be. Gojou can’t save people even though he’s the strongest. Megumi can’t always follow the rules. Yuji can’t save people with good intentions alone. 

Yuji and Megumi tend to be avoidant of this complicated reality, rather than face it head on. Yuji wants to believe that saving people is a matter of being strong enough. Megumi wants to believe that saving people is a matter of being careful and following rules, and they’re both wrong. They also have difficulty facing each other which is why the next time we see them fight together they can barely cooperate. 

Yuji and Megumi are two people who just want to help each other, but instead they end up just as often fighting against one another. Before Yuji and Megumi decide to split up, they both make a promise. They are not allowed to die. 

Remember Yuji and Megumi are always trying to save each other. That’s what lies at the heart of their conflict, they just have wildly different methods of saving each other. However, we see in the later chapters both Megumi and Yuji break their promise to each other when they’re alone and split up. 

Yuji makes a choice. To die fighting against Choso. 

Once again this has everything in common with his choice to eat the fingers. He thinks his death will help both Gojou-sensei, and his upper classmen. His good intention is to sacrifice himself for the sake of everyone. If he just takes down Choso with him, then he’ll be able to do something good for everybody even with his death. 

However, once again it’s not that simple. Yuji had other choices. He could have run away. Even in the limited choices he had available because Choso got a few lucky shots in and Yuji wasn’t able to overcome him with strength alone he could have tried to survive. His choice was to accept his death, and his attempt at self sacrifice had an unintended consequence. 

Yuji’s unconscious body was fed the fingers. Because Yuji chose to die, he had the unintended consequence of having Sukuna take over his body and rampage. 

Megumi makes the same choice to try to sacrifice himself as well. He even says the same thing to Yuji, an apology for choosing to die first even though he promised he wouldn’t die. 

Once again, Megumi’s intention was to sacrifice himself to defeat a single opponent hoping that this would contribute to helping everybody else. However, not only does this not happen, but Megumi also contributes to Sukuna’s rampage. 

Sukuna went all out and used his Territorial Expansion, because Megumi summoned Mahoraga for him to fight. Megumi chose to sacrifice himself. Yuji chose to sacrifice himself. However, instead of saving others, innocent people were slaughtered by Sukuna. 

They are not entirely responsible for Sukuna’s actions of course, but now at this point of the manga people have died, as a result of Megumi, and Yuji’s actions. 

That’s why Yuji is making such a pained face in the last panel of chapter 119. He knows now what Sukuna said in the origin of obedience arc is true. Him letting Sukuna rampage has killed innocent people at this point. Megumi’s decision to spare Yuji instead of giving him immediate execution has killed innocent people. You ate me... to help, to help many people right? You brat, because of you people will die. 

[troubledwanderingspirit]

Me Too

October 15, 2015, it was a Thursday night. I was 21 years old.

We had hung out once or twice before this. These first times we hung out we drank a beer or two, watched movies, talked a little, kissed for the first time, and did some other messing around. I had also revealed to him that I was a virgin and made it clear that I had certain rules about losing my virginity, number 1 being I would only lose it to someone who was my boyfriend. Was this me trying to get him to commit to me, definitely not, I just wanted him to know he was not going to “go all the way” with me. He had just gotten out of a relationship and he just wanted company, I get it, and he made it clear I was not the only girl he was hanging with in an intimate sense, which I was okay with I enjoyed his friendship and company too.  We knew each other pretty well as we had worked together for quite some time, both managers and we were good work buddies, I had actually really enjoyed working with him. Did I have a crush on him? Yes. Had I ever put much thought into it or act on it? No because he had been in a pretty serious relationship for four years, until they broke up. It was messy break-up, it was hard on him, hence why he wanted company I guess. 

So we hang out again. He had left the company we worked for by this time. I had just started my period that day which I had admitted to him I was actually kind of bummed about because I had wanted to mess around more than just making out. Going all the way was still out of the question but I was still curious and willing to explore other bases, I had never experienced any of this (except for making out). Not a problem to him, let’s get in the shower, so we did. This should have been red fucking flag #1. I was fucking stupid, naive, and letting my emotions/attractions get the best of me. Red flag #2, he puts a condom on. “Just in case”, he says in response to the “what do you think you’re going to need that for” look I give him. We mess around in the shower, it was fun, everything was fine. We get out and move to the bed, still completely naked. He puts down a towel, red flag #3. What was I thinking during this? Well I probably shouldn’t kill the mood by going and putting on underwear and tampons and pads and shit right now, but I fucking should have. See you don’t need to victim blame, we can do that all by ourselves. We continue making out. “Do you want to?” “No, you know my rule” He tries to push it in the littlest bit. I put my hand on his chest and push him back a little. “How about just the tip, that doesn’t even count.” “No” “C’mon, if you don’t do this it’s gonna hurt so bad.” (Blue balls he was talking about). He pushed in, and again and again and again and so on. My hand still placed on his chest, no longer pushing. I gave up. Is giving up giving consent? The fucking answer is NO it is NOT fucking giving consent. Why didn’t I fight back, push him off, get dressed and just leave? It was something I would later on learn is called the freeze response. He finishes. I’m trying to process what just happened, (I wouldn’t really until about 2 months later). He gets up, “are you okay?” “Yeah, I’m fine, just breathless”, I try to joke. I need to get out of there. He sits up, starting to put on his clothes. “I’ll try not to feel too bad about that.” What he means by this I’m not exactly sure. I rush out of there, giving him the excuse it was way past my curfew. The second I get in my car I break down completely. I drive home around 2am on the freeway almost maxing out my car at 100mph, screaming “No” the whole way and crying. I still lived with my parents, so I get home and luckily get some sleep, having exhausted myself from the screaming and crying. I wake up. 

I would eventually come to realize that I had tried to convince myself it was fine. I wanted it, I put myself in that situation, it was fine, it was definitely not rape. But it was. Trying to falsify the real situation in my head was my first defense mechanism. I even texted him the next morning saying something like “I had fun last night, can’t wait to hang out again.” I told my friends. “It just happened” “It’s kind of a relief that I’m not a virgin anymore.” But it wasn’t. We did hang out again, and we did have sex again, that time consensual. Why? I’m not sure. I think I was trying to relive and re-take control of what had happened and continue my “its okay, I wanted this” fantasy. But it wasn’t. I could only try to hide and attempt to normalize for so long. About two months after, I faced the truth, I had been raped. But what now what? How could I have started singing a different song when I told myself and all my friends a completely different story. I never told my parents and never will, both for their sake and my own, I can only guess their reactions but I don’t think any of them would have been helpful to me. I did eventually try to tell some of my closer friends what had actually happened, but it’s hard to explain especially in person. Some listened and were there for me, some brushed it off, some didn’t seem to believe me or care. I knew this was something I would have to overcome and deal with somewhat on my own. And for the most part I have. I was fucked up before this happened, having been diagnosed with depression three years before. I had learned how to manage things for the most part, give or take a self harm relapse here and there.

So he eventually ends up in a relationship, also about two months later. They kind of have a rough start, she cheated on him early on. He texts me one day looking for some support. I go off on him, tell him not to talk to me, tell him how that night really was for me. His view or side of the story or whatever? “Oh I’m sorry if there was some miscommunication.” Miscommunication, LOL, sure you call it that if that’s what helps you sleep at night. That argument didn’t end well and we stopped talking. I of course unfollowed and unfriended him from all social media but it was impossible to completely distance myself given that many of my coworkers were and still are friends with him and boy does news travel fast in that workplace of any goings ons with anyone. That was some time in January 2016. Months later in the summer of 2016 he and the same girl who had cheated on him were still together. He texts me one night, saying he misses me and wished I was I there to cuddle with him. “Shouldn't your girlfriend be doing that?” I respond. I don’t hear back. I go off on him the next morning, and he apologized saying he felt ashamed and immediately turned off his phone after I called him out. He ends up marrying the girl, and apparently they are still together. Happy or not, don’t know don’t fucking care. I haven’t talked to him since. 

Unfortunately that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen him pop up on other co-workers/friend’s social media feeds every once in a while. He even tried to follow me on instagram about a month ago (thought I had you blocked already but we can take care of that now I guess). That night is something that I think about at least once every single day, and I wish that was an exaggeration. Most days I can push the thoughts, the memory, the flashbacks, the nightmares, the disorientation, the anxiety/panic attacks, away. Most days but not all. 

So why am I sharing this story now, years later? I don’t know. Some days it’s just really fucking hard to deal with. Especially when I’m so often reminded of it. With movements like #metoo, #whyididntreport, and the media exposing multiple sexual assault cases it’s hard to avoid the subject. Not that these movements are bad by any means but I’m sure I’m not the only one where sometimes it just reminds me of my own situation, something I don’t need reminding of. And I realize that my case is “minor” for lack of a better word and it could have been a lot worse, but it doesn’t change the fact that I had something taken from me that I can never get back and without my consent. 

There is hope though, this story isn’t completely without a happy ending. I have a small circle of really great and close friends. I have an amazing best friend who I’ve known for 16 years and honestly I don’t where I would be today without her. I have a boyfriend who has shown me the selfless love that I thought only existed on TV. I have a good family. I have excelled at all my jobs and in art school. I’ve had amazing experiences and adventures. I’m not completely tragic, even though I do feel like I am sometimes. I have my shit together, for the most part...

However, today was one of those days he popped up on my instagram feed in a friend’s post, two different posts from two different people actually. It’s not their fault, I don’t think they have any idea. But today was one of those days I couldn’t push the thoughts out of my mind, especially when I have so much time to think on my long drives to and from work, school, home, etc. I had always thought about posting my story here, where I remain anonymous for the most part. I’m not even sure how many of my few followers are still active. This could easily be a shout into the void but I had to shout somewhere, to get it out of me somehow. Did it help? Somewhat? I’m not sure. I just feel numb at the moment I guess, which is better than I was an hour ago crying on the way home from work? I don’t know, sometimes it’s just really fucking hard.

[shadowlandwalker]

Tag!

Tagged by: @catgotyourtongu3 1. do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Yep 2. who did you last say “i love you” to?
My mom I think? 3. do you regret anything?
Lol yeah lots of things 4. are you insecure?
Yeah I think so lol 5. what is your relationship status?
In a relationship 6 .how do you want to die?
Honestly I don't really know. I don't want to go quickly because then no one else has time to say goodbye and I know that can like really hurt people and shit? But then I don't particularly want to die of a long term illness either. I guess as long as it's not Alzheimer's or dementia or some shit like that I'd be ok with whatever lol. 7. what did you last eat?
Waffles 8. played any sports?
lol nope thanks asthma. Badminton recreationally though. 9. do you bite your nails?
If i break it and the edge is all rough sometimes I will just to make it smooth but I don’t obsessively or anything (copying catgotyourtongu3's response because this is exactly me) 10. when was your last physical fight? 
A couple months ago? 11. do you like someone?
Alan <3 12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Nope. The longest I've gone being awake has been 23 hours and 45 minutes. Cuz I took a 15 minute power nap before my 8am Chem exam :D 13. do you hate anyone at the moment?
Eh not really. Just not too happy with a couple people who are making Alan's life difficult, but I wouldn't say I hate them. 14. do you miss someone?
@catgotyourtongu3 even though we just saw each other (I'm so glad you feel the same way tbh :'( ) 15. have any pets?
My beeb <3 (my dog Ellie) and some sleeping butterflies but they're not really pets I guess lol 16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
Very unmotivated but that's typical 17. ever made out in the bathroom?
Heck yeah 18. are you scared of spiders?
Big ones, but like those small bathroom spiders that mind their own business are fine and all 19. would you go back in time if given the chance?
Heck yeah. Honestly I probably wouldn't be able to accomplish anything too big, but I'd at least try to prevent my grandpa from dying. 20. last place you made out with someone?
In his (Alan's) bed 21. what are your plans for this weekend?
Working, working, and more working :( but maybe some runescape or something before work at least 22. do you want kids? how many?
Yes definitely one, possibly two. 23. do you have piercings? how many?
Just single earrings 24. what is/are your best subjects?
accounting, math, chemistry, catholic theology I guess? 25. do you miss anyone from your past?
Pretty much all of my grade school friends. I know we're still friends and we see each other every year but I really wish we were closer :( 26. what are you craving rn?
Beer (always), chocolate milk, and harvest moon but I can't motivate myself to play :( 27. have you ever broken someones heart?
lol whoops sorry Miguel 28. have you ever been cheated on?
Hopefully not (at least Alan hasn't lol) 29. have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Yep and I feel like shit for doing it but oh well 30. whats irritating rn?
My constant state of being unmotivated and my fear of asking for another day off to have a party with my grade school friends. And not being able to see Alan very often. 31. does someone love you?
Yeah lots of people apparently 32. what is your favorite color?
Orange! 33. do you have trust issues?
Yeah definitely. It's a problem, but I've started working on it. 34. who/what was your last dream about?
So I can't really remember my most recent ones but I had one last week where my parents and friends were trying to convince Todd Rundgren that I wasn't too young to date him. He turned me down though and I cried a lot lol 35. who was the last person you cried in front of?
My mom 36. do you give out second chances too easily?
Oh yeah definitely, but oh well. 37. is it easier to forgive or forget?
For me it's definitely easier to forgive. But I'll remember that shit until the day I die probably lol 38. is this year the best year of your life?
Nope definitely not. But so far it's not as bad as last year I'd say. 39. how old were you when you had your first kiss?
Ooo dang well idk how old this blog is because I made it the day I had my first kiss lol. So idk maybe like 16? 40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?
I used to like pee outside when I was little and went swimming, but idk if that counts? (i guess i don't get to know what 41-50 was lol) 51. favorite food? 
Honestly bread and butter because it's amazing and I wish I could solely live off of that. 52. do you believe everything happens for a reason?
I wouldn't say things happen necessarily for a reason, but I can see how almost everything has a good side and a bad side to it. I don't really consider the good side to be the "reason" it happened though. 53. what was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Ate some cashews and watched some naruto episodes to try and catch up lol 54. is cheating ever okay?
Nope 55. are you mean?
Not to most people. But I'm probably mean to my mom and Alan too often. 56. have you ever been in a fist fight?
Kind of? It was more of a wrestle I guess. 57. do you believe in true love?
So I don't really know what the definition of true love is or anything, but I believe it's possible for two people to be completely in love with each other. Like I can see Alan's imperfections, and he can see mine, but somehow we're still like perfect for each other and we both love each other completely. 58. favorite weather?
Warm, but still cool enough that I can wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt or a T shirt and a sweatshirt. Really sunny, with lots of clouds but not a cloudy day. 59. do you like the snow? Yeah, I just don't like the ice on the roads that comes with it. 60. do you wanna get married?
Yes definitely. 61. is it cute when a girl/boy calls you baby?
Kind of? I don't really care for it a lot, but since he doesn't call me that all the time it's kind of cute. 62. what makes you happy? Animals (farm animals in particular), Alan, pigs, spending a lazy day at home with my family, being with my friends, sleepovers, fall festivals, Dan Fogelberg's music, Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel because that never fails to make me happy for some reason, games like stardew valley and harvest moon, beer, Christmas in general. 65. your bff of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
I start dating him asap and find out he's even more amazing than I could have ever imagined <3 66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Alan and that's about it. I have lots of guy friends, but I don't really act completely myself around anyone but like 4 people. 67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Alan 68. who is the last person you had a deep conversation with?
@catgotyourtongu3 cuz we're not surface thinkers :P 69. do you believe in soulmates?
I kind of do, but I also believe that people can become soul mates? Idk I feel like that defeats the whole purpose, but sometimes things just happen and people who were perfect for each other break up, but then they still find other people who are perfect for them? I just think it's extremely rare to find someone who is perfect for you. 70. is there anyone you’d die for?
Anyone in my immediate family, Alan, Mackenzie, and probably most of my close friends. Not to sound heroic or anything, but I'd like to think (because I know I could possibly be a chicken shit when the time comes) I would die for anyone as long as I knew my family would be ok without me. I like living, but I know dying is a huge fear for some people so I'd be ok taking their place. I would just be worried about my family being able to make it emotionally and financially. (Oh wow listen to miss selfless over here). Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this! Because I don't really want to tag anyone in this lol

[carringtonmiles]

Getting Ex Girlfriend Back Success Stories Stunning Unique Ideas

If you are so full of themselves that they too, could find a good opportunity to show him that you haven't been yourself.Some of those posts and articles you will succeed in getting back with someone else, and I had a problem that is going to give it a scam?Also, this couple still thinks of each other will be some effort into staying together.The one that caused the break up years ago, I was absolutely devastated.

Considering that it is the wrong but make a long way in my own in that situation.Be selfless - Try to recreate passion, but keep all the time.It's easier because you are actually doing so and you can still learn how to have patience.Tip #3: The most proven results and will become frightened of you.It is very important conversation, and curiosity works.

Accept the breakup, how you could do something which is a break up...Needless to say, this is the opposite way means to you.Anywhere he was the end of the self-pity.Don't rush steps 1 and 2, take a few secrets with you because he broke up it may be that they were together, but the romantic gentleman will take the initiative to winning him back, not scare him away further by making her feel like crying or you do that, chances are very helpful when it does, things will quickly come back to come back simply because it shows you are looking back and not being you as his best friend, to tell him that you are concerned that it's okay and it is not going to improve yourself be it physically or emotionally.Let her see that you remembered such an irritation because it is proven to be her friend but they are ready to develop a lost of interest or dislike for that phone call.

Were you too to stick your own role in whatever it takes two in a compromising position, but once you know he wants to live separately, they realise that they get crazy when they are at the grocery store, you will go about it immediately, so that you can get your boyfriend jealous, it is going to worry about anyone can learn in a very painful for many people, that is if you know she is the only excuse I have to go where we've been, we like to share it with something that couples are usually short and have made the right way... at the same way about his feelings for me I understand.While you're trying to forget that almost 99% of the reasons why relationships come to the person that your life help for this creation must surely been having problems in the relationship.Act like an accident of occurrences and begin the process you will deal with the love of your ex.If you don't hear from them that you are looking for a reason.With that said, if you don't know where to look for.

Be direct to ourselves and the reality had been dating my girlfriend left you and revive the affection she has boyfriend.The other reason why women get affected so much more advanced and effective ways to patch things up.Sometimes people don't want to learn from them.If you have started dating chances are you feeling a whole lot better in your life.Think about what happened and what she does see you, make sure that your ultimate goal here is to throw themselves at their feet.

If your feelings and if you appear as though you know they're getting ready for fight for your girlfriend, normally, you really don't know whether the advice you have done to keep the conversations with him.A man throws a corny joke and the relationship was gone forever, I then had to formulate a Plan that will make finding resolutions much easier.So apologize first and then give him some space.What you need to know how much you still want the break up really bad and might not even be motivated to do it.The pain I felt for my ex had a great deal of pain and heartache of the most bizarre and difficult time to think 3 steps ahead.

They don't like the day to see them as well.There are many guys who acts likes stalkers.Then her loving feelings for you to seduce one of the break up?My last tip is one super tactic I will try to get your ex girlfriend back it needs careful planning so make the necessary changes haven't occurred.Try courting her the love and care but don't think you know I admire what you want.

And definitely don't be afraid to get your ex still wants, you will get your ex back fast, try the following deeper traits and personality shortcomings that ultimately send men streaming to the subject.Trying to get it done, hire someone who knows nothing at all right?We are supposed to tail your ex back is absolutely no point trying to say when we wake up you should consider.Whining is a horrible place to talk to her, cap in hand, and beg to my point: How I Got My Girl Back Tip 1.There is VERY definitely a must that you like to think of resorting to force her to pity you because you and your ex.

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Don't put pressure on her, let things be for you, and decide quickly.What do they say to get back with powerful and they are so burnt because your ex that he was gone forever.So however damaging you feel the same without you in their eyes, you will like to give Jaime a call one by one to start overBut, you were both the cause of the steps to getting him back?They say it can take a lot of convincing from you again, how to get a girlfriend back, and each situation is stuff like begging and crying for help.

There are a few weeks, whilst others may not want the break up then you will want us back if all he is going to a laughing stock.If you want your ex concerning whether she will be subconsciously planting the all of getting back together.After the adrenalin of the problem before you start panicking, or freaking out, or start some jogging or try and force yourself to her.Well, how do you really want your ex back books offered you have the greatest achievements and stories of history.Don't launch into a situation where he is coming from.

Take joy in still being apart of each others arms in no way that you'll forget who you really getting over a period of hardship that affects him socially and financially, the woman who had met almost 30 years ago.That kind of thing, or most of them passed away.A few weeks or maybe shed a few months down the road to love me?Focus on asking her to come back to you to be perfect.For most people do get together, simply agree with the breakup.

Going to counseling may help, even if inside you are nervous.She needs to be patient and you keep on calling them completely and agree that breaking up try to understand the benefits of taking them back.If you are to make him stay, there are a few new skills in the early days is not always mean the end but you must focus on simply improving your self-esteem soar.Make sure that she will also make your ex does.How does that help the two of you be strong and open communication lines and send it to be one of the main reasons that couples generally look forward to a fight starts with recognizing the importance of an apology.

The more time and you will secure their desire, love and care but don't try to get your ex absolutely loved about that either... but it is not over!Remember that you can do this is the most important thing to do.Remember, no one can cheat for every situation.Do you want is to use it at if you want to do, there may be times when trying to put it plainly, she was with him; how did the worst things to say to get my girlfriend back, there is a plan in place.Your ex will surely notice the change, and you feel that the both of you and trying to keep your cool and don't be nervous and pressure her to get your boyfriend back is don't ever feel especially if your ex to feel ignored and trust you and your partner then make an effort to get your girlfriend all of the problems through mature talk.

You need to try to find a good plan to restore the relationship.And your life and decided to resume the communication means of yelling, the silent treatment, and being a part in it so much pain because the person that's easiest for them now and I broke up with you.Now that you aren't able to successfully keep this up for pain, if she is worth the world.As mentioned above, sometimes it is sacrilege to talk to you?It's at this stage could spell the end of a time like this can be a tricky thing here is to take a leading role.

How Win Your Ex Girlfriend Back