#getrough

[whatevertheywant]

Turning 29 has brought me into a very existential headspace. I don't truly know if I actually belong anywhere anymore or if I were anywhere else doing anything else if I would be any less discontent. I know I definitely don't want to be where I am now in five years. I feel somehow even more like a child than I did when I turned 20. The levels of angst I feel could rival my edgiest teenaged moments. I feel generally tolerated-liked even. But I don't feel the sense of belonging and acceptance that I know is possible because I've experienced it before. I do have friends I experience that acceptance with,but it's not the norm. With my family,it's always me that has to adjust somehow. It doesn't matter if I hate football or religion. That's what I endure if I want to see them or eat with them. They claim to love me but don't take an interest in my interests or even attempt to as I do with sports. Random conversational topics become sermons or lectures completely unprovoked. I try to avoid politics for the most part because I'm either going to kill the mood or just be frustrated. They will take my lack of response or my passion as a sign of their righteousness. My mother was talking about how she just loves J.D. Vance and Hillbilly Ellegy etc etc. She also somehow turned me saying it was difficult for me to watch Ella Enchanted because it's hard for me to watch her be forced to do things. And she pulled the ever so neurotypical "It's just a movie and she wins in the end" shit and I reiterated what I said and she was just like, "Life can getrough and uncomfortable" as if I don't have fucking trauma and mental illness that she is fully aware of. And it went into "And that's why you need to trust in Jesus..." FUCK YOU AMY FUCK RIGHT OFF. I don't care if that's strong. I'm venting on my own fucking blog and I'm feeling very angry and sad and depressed rn. I don't know if it's my hormones,my blood sugar,my mental illness or just a natural and valid reaction to the fucking stress and anguish I have been feeling for so long. I just need something to give. I do have things that I'm grateful for. I have some good in my life and appreciate who and what i have. But I'm also just so tired and so done with everything idk

[luciamontepeque]

Mondays are rough, so you gotta get rough. 📸 @ej_photoaddict Hair&Makeup @celesteurrutiastudio #roughmonday #tough #gettough #rough #cruella #getrough #photo #fotografia #movie #photoshoot #moviecharacters #disneycruella #cruellamakeup #hairandmakeup #character #instaguate #artista #artist #personaje #maquillaje #maquillajeartistico #actress #cruellacharacter #actriz #luciamontepeque (en Celeste Urrutia Studio) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRhqHGGMv5e/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mieljoesy-blog]

Sex is funny. Sex is gross. Sex is awkward. Sex is embarrassing. Somebody is going to squirt something in the wrong place or fart or sneeze and have a whole lot of snot come out. Don’t take it so seriously!

[sheslockedoutofheaven]