#get that purity fandom culture shit away from me lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rpbetter · 3 years ago

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Wha-? Now people are labeling muns who just play devil's advocate and don't have strong feelings either way about what other people write? I didn't sign up to be a 'proshipper' just for not caring what other people ship. I don't care about a lot of things. Why the label for this particular thing? It sounds so dumb, like a way to yank in more muns who just want to mind their own business into drama and 'sides'. I agree with your post, I'm just angry at the rpc for being babies. And the labels...

I'm always angry at the RPC for being babies and the labels, it's alright, Anon.

I believe (and I could be wrong, because for the most part, I tried to stay out of any and all fandom-related things for years and years - I just want to enjoy the movie/shows/books, I don't need or want to discourse about that shit, you know?) that all of those terms originated in fandom, outside/predating transfer to the RPC.

I know when I encountered them initially, it was in fandom, not the RPC part of fandom...and at that time, it was just the label of people being "antis." A label they gave themselves by, literally, asserting themselves as "anti-character here-."

It's been my supposition that the RPC's transition to being more canon character and fandom-based than OC-preferred led to an organic transfer of more fandom-specific terminology (and behaviors). As places like twitter and tumblr became hubs of fandom and RPCs, they brought tags to the table. While that is an absolutely wonderful thing, it also means that we all started out tagging things with good intentions, only meant to be tags. You could tag something, pulling from a random fandom here, "anti-Daryl Dixon" from TWD and the plethora of fans who love that character could block it. It was a peacekeeping measure at that state, not a flag for discourse and drama.

Tag-language influencing and becoming an organic part of language, in general, is a whole other, though fascinating, topic, so I'm going to just leave that there. The point is, it happened.

And unfortunately, you quickly got people popping "anti-whatever" in their bios and blog descriptions. Not as a means of allowing others to avoid it, but as a means of making it really clear that they despised the character, fandom, ship, whatever. With purity culture 3.5 hitting in earnest, the reasons for despising those things became raised stakes. It wasn't a basis of simply disliking them anymore - you needed a dissertation how this thing was morally objectionable and destroying the world. Anyone disagreeing with you, by that logic, is morally reprehensible themselves and must be stopped. Raised stakes.

Actions cause reactions, too. People started making it clear that they were "pro" whatever, too. These became opposing designations, and honestly, I'm not sure who started up "proshipper" first. I only know I saw it being used negatively first, that doesn't mean it happened that way! What I've seen has been the entire ship/write/like what you want crowd being given that label negatively and taking it up themselves in the same way people are given to take up a lot of things they've been negatively called.

By "what I've seen," I don't just mean witnessing it happening in the wild lol it happened to me, as well. I reblogged a post about how shipping wasn't activism, and got an anon informing me that I was a disgusting proshipper (every time I reblog that, I get at least one person popping off in my RP inboxes, actually, it hasn't slowed down any). At which point, I, too, was very much like, I'm a what now? Yes, I am okay with shipping? What the hell is this person even on about?

So, it's my theory that in response to the anti movement, some people stated that they were "pro-ship and let ship" and thus...we got to be "disgusting proshippers."

Regardless, it absolutely is just another way of labeling people in order to single them out and/or keep feeding drama, yes.

And again, I feel you. I know labels, good, bad, reclaimed, whatever, seem to give a lot of people a grounded sense of identity, but I've always been uncomfortable with them. I don't understand the need for them, even if I get that they make others feel a certain way. I just want to feel the way I do, be the person I am, and have that person engaged with based singularly on my actions.

It's alright if someone else wants to freely label themselves in a way they feel is positive (though, I do wish that younger people, especially in the queer community didn't have this batshit pressure to do so, and correctly, the first time), but they've always felt threatening and restrictive to me.

As such, having people create and bestow a label on me for the purpose of designating me a problem is kind of an uncomfortable realization of why I feel negative about them. I don't like it, and it's part of why I don't like the bullshit of making this distinction in DNIs. By doing so, they're literally as hell singling people out...with a negative label they gave them for the criminal act of feeling like it's absurd to police fiction, instead, expecting adults to behave like adults when engaging with fiction and each other.

It's honestly forcing hostility and drama, when the point of being ship/write/like and let ship/write/like is not having that hostility and drama. It's merely a live and let live mentality, that's what y'all are attacking! The labeling is a rotting cherry on top that is so indicative of this same, legitimately problematic, behavior that goes on in the extremism I talked about in the post you referenced. It's...gross, let's just say that.

And I'm really sorry that it makes you upset, too! You don't have to label yourself, you can reject that and refuse to engage with those using it in this negative way. That makes me feel considerably less annoyed and disturbed! I'll totally joke about it, as I do fall into the designated parameters of being both "proship" and "anti-anti," but I don't actually label myself thus. I only consider myself a reasonable adult who has better and more serious shit going on than to worry about what fiction someone else is writing or enjoying.

Just...do be aware that, like myself and others, you're likely to be labeled if one of these hostile parties sees you reblog the "wrong" thing or make the "wrong" statement. You are being labeled in those DNIs for your viewpoint of wishing to avoid absurd drama. So, I'd advise, for your peace of mind, to try to avoid blogs stating that they're "anti" anything but drama/bullying etc., or who feel it necessary to put up those DNIs. You are who they're talking about, they just don't know it because you're not labeling yourself or being otherwise obvious about it :/

Try your best to avoid that changing, you deserve to peacefully enjoy RP! As disturbing as it is, as rightfully upset about it as you are, maybe it's a good thing you found out? In this way, I mean. Without someone bringing it to your inbox hatefully. Now you know what it means, that they mean you, and you can stay away from it! Try to look at it that way - there will always be people weirdly desperate to make their drama hobby everyone else's problem, you can only make an effort to stay out of it if you know what to look for, right?

I hope any of this made you feel better about the fresh hell that is the RPC lol keep doing you, Anon! You're not the problem, infantile drama mongers are <3

#answered #anonymous #post and ask replies #rpc terms #fandom history #potentially #tumblr rpc #dni lists

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lillupon · 4 years ago

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So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask.

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it.

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF.

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community.

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless.

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well.

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags.

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn…

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

#asks #my writing #fic & fandom #I keep coming back to fiddle and add things to this answer #but I think I've said all I wanted to now...

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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(Last Anon) I write a lot of dark shit. I’ll openly admit it helps me cope with the shit Ive been through. It was advised to me by a therapist, and reading and writing it makes me feel better. The tagging system helps me avoid the things that WOULDNT make me feel better. It’s up to me to make that distinction. What level of tagging would actually make you comfortable? Do you want to stop people from writing anything noncon all together? (Idk if this sounds attacky, I don’t mean it that way)

I answered before I saw this second question, so I’ll try to make this briefer...

I’m gonna be blunt here: I’m.....not exactly side-eyeing that therapist, because its not like I’ve talked to or worked with every therapist out there lol, and I don’t know their reasoning on this subject, but I DO question whether or not there’s room in your dialogue with your therapist to expand on this and explore if there’s any kind of miscommunication or misinterpretation of WHY they suggested it might make you feel better....as well as whether or not they meant just in writing it for yourself vs writing it to share with other people online.

I say that last part because those can be very distinct things.....because ALL forms of writing, are at their core inherently just....communicating ideas. Even to ourselves.

Its why journaling is so effective for a lot of people. Its literally just us using writing to express our own ideas to ourselves, to communicate what we’re already thinking or feeling to ourselves in more...digestible ways we can more easily internalize even if we’re the only intended audience for what we write there.

And I also say this because there’s a difference between exploration and validation....and the intended results and receptions to both these things.

Like.....tbh, I’ve spent a lot of my life asking WHY, in terms of why certain of my victimizers might have done the things to me that they did. Its been a large, central question at times.....the mystery of it being something that’s bothered me to large degrees.

So in that vein, there is a certain logic to writing various dark shit in an effort to reach SOME kind of understanding, even just in my own mind. Trying to understand what they were even thinking, the WHY of it, in order to at least transform the unknown of it into something real or tangible that I could more easily refute or push back against.

But all of that can be done in the form of writing just to myself. The second I share that writing with a wider public, many of them unknown to me, however.....it takes on a whole new dimension.

Because now I’m not just communicating my thoughts on this matter to myself.....I’m communicating it to an audience of people all with their own thoughts, priorities, lived experiences, etc. And there is ZERO guarantee, or even really a realistic expectation, that this wider audience is receiving what I’m communicating or interpreting it or whatever.....in the same vein, and for the same reasons, that I’m writing it in the first place.

So not only do I now have to factor in that while say, exploring my victimizers’ mindsets in order to make them more real and thus more realistically refuted, like....that might be my motivation for writing it to myself, and MY understanding of what I’ve written and why......but to people out there in that wider audience....I have NO idea what they’re getting out of it. People who actually ALREADY think this way could see it as validation, proof that the predatory thoughts they had were more normal and acceptable than society otherwise wanted them to think.....or other victims of similar kinds of events could accidentally use it to negatively reinforce ideas they had about THEIR victimizers’ being valid in thinking the way they did, and for doing the things they did to them.

But then I also have to now factor in the ADDITIONAL angle that is....feedback. And especially, ESPECIALLY in a fandom environment which simply does not allow for or condone negative reception to this kind of content, and will default to defending the author and any readers of the author, REGARDLESS of their motivations or intentions....over a reader who is genuinely distressed by how they received the content.

Because feedback IS validating. Plain and simple. Positive reception IS affirming, in WHATEVER we do.

So....now there’s the problem that I can’t honestly say for sure at this point if what’s making me feel better about writing this dark shit is just the writing of it itself, communicating whatever it communicates to me when I put it to paper....OR if maybe what’s making me feel better is the external validation I’m getting from readers who for their own reasons, whatever they might be, are telling me this is fantastic, I’m great at this, they want more.

And that can very easily become a trap, see....because whereas initially my writing this stuff for myself might have had some benefit....if the how and why of me doing this goes somewhere it wasn’t ever intended and becomes something else entirely....that can eventually like....overtake and REPLACE my original motivations completely.

And instead of this being something I do for a FINITE period of time, for as long as I need to in order to work through this stuff....it can become something I kinda just...dwell in, and never move past.....because the validation I’m getting from writing this specific content and how that VALIDATION makes me feel, specifically.....gives me reason enough not to...ever actually move past this stuff no matter how else it might be effecting my life or my mindsets about things.

And I’m not saying that’s what’s going on with you or going to happen with you or anything of the sort, because I flat out DO NOT KNOW your situation or your therapist or what they recommended or why.

I’m just saying....the problem with using ‘coping mechanisms’ as a catch-all defense without ever delving into the specifics of WHY this specific coping mechanism and what specifically its meant to accomplish....is there is nothing inherent in a coping mechanism that’s like.....good.

Because coping is the bare minimum, frankly.

It should never be upheld as the IDEAL.

So for instance, as a survivor of physical abuse and in terms of how that often made me feel weak or powerless....I could, feasibly, say getting into physical fights is a coping mechanism for me, as long as I win them, because they make me feel strong or powerful. I could genuinely say, despite how it sounds, punching someone on some level DOES make me feel better.

But could I actually argue this is any way ideal, healthy or sustainable in the longterm? Let alone ignore the effect is has on the people I fight, for what are essentially entirely self-serving reasons?

I’m just saying....coping isn’t always the be all and end all....and it can get away from us very quickly if we lose sight of WHY we’re doing it and to what end.

And to answer the rest of your questions.....all of this is what I want. All of the above conversation is the POINT of my frequent rants.

Because these kinds of conversations are ESSENTIAL to what fandom CLAIMS are the point of these kinds of fics and content and readerships.

These are not things that can just be assumed, or things that are one size fits all and the same for every writer and reader regardless of personal situation.

But can you honestly say that fandoms, as they exist now, are remotely open or conducive to HAVING these kinds of conversations regularly? To making the asking of THESE specific kinds of questions something people regularly do, or check in with, or consider before or during the creation or consuming of dark content.....as opposed to just taking for granted that its fine and its GOOD because fandom has been doing it this way all along and everyone who’s been a guiding influence to you in fandom has previously assured you this is fine and works and doesn’t need fixing or adjusting?

Because I don’t think they are, and THAT’S my issue, and THAT’S what I want, in answer to your other question.

Do I really want people to just stop writing dark shit altogether? At least the fetishistic kind, the kind that exploits real peoples’ real traumas for entertainment rather than be respectful of the inherent power and weight it comes with just by virtue of being what it is?

I mean, on the one hand, yes, sure. I’m not going to lie. That would be ideal.

But part of why I object so strongly to accusations of purity policing and censorship is because I DON’T view the world in terms of black and white, binary thinking.

And so on the other hand, no, this isn’t what I want, because it isn’t something I spend any time actually WANTING....because that would be a waste of time and effort, because I UNDERSTAND that that’s just not a realistic want. I’m not likely to ever see like, just a full scale abandonment of the consumer culture fad of rape culture.....and I don’t want to actually censor it because I fully believe censorship is just a band-aid slapped on a gaping chest wound....banning content does nothing to address the WANT of a type of content, and as long as that want persists, people will find a way to feed it.

So realistically, ACTIONABLY.....all I really want is this. More of these kinds of conversations, engagements. Open, frank, directness about what’s ACTUALLY going on with a lot of this content and being communicated with it, the risks inherent in it....acknowledgment of the negative impact that goes hand in hand with the positive impact you get from readers saying they like this, they enjoyed it.

And yeah, I fully admit and hope that along the way, it DOES lead to more people just stopping writing this type of content altogether.....BUT the WHY of that is important.

Because I believe this would only happen or come about because in the act of actually ASKING these questions of themselves and their work, ACTUALLY acknowledging the full scale of impact, the bad as well as the good, actually LISTENING to people who complain or criticize it instead of just dismissing them as entitled or whiny or puritans....I do think that this would inevitably lead to some people abandoning this type of content altogether.....because its just flat out not really enjoyable to them when they consider it in the context of its negative impact AS WELL as the positive.

But the thing is......THAT, yeah, I’m okay with. Because I don’t believe anyone is entitled to LIE to themselves or hide from the negative impact of their own actions or actions of those around them, just in order to preserve the entertainment value of ONE aspect of ONE personal hobby.

That, I have no shame about potentially having an influence on people in regards to, because there is literally NOTHING WRONG with asking people to be more aware of themselves and their place and impact among others, and to interact honestly and directly with their own actions, likes, and interests.

Like, there’s just not.

And I fully believe everyone really already knows that, and that’s WHY this conversation so frequently gets twisted and derailed into being about things its just not about...censorship, purity policing, fiction not being the same as reality....

None of those are the point. THIS is the point. Has always been MY point, at the very least.

Bottom line, fandom as is, expects people whose lives are directly reflective of specific types of content to make THEMSELVES smaller in fandom spaces, in order to make room and make way for the content a lot of people like.

And I fully and unapologetically believe that’s backwards.

Fic should not take priority over people. Fictional interests should not be more important to a fandom COMMUNITY than lived experiences.

Nobody has any right to ask or expect other fans to make room, object less, isolate more.....just so that other people can enjoy certain fictional content without having to do any serious examination of it and how that makes them feel.

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elysiumwaits · 5 years ago

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Hey! For the autumnal asks, frost, amber and fog, please. Thanks.😊

Hey! Thanks so much, this ask game is so cute.

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

Don’t wait that long to talk to a psychiatrist.Tell your mom when it starts. Don’t go through four years of it.Listen, it’s dark now, but you’re gonna meet someone amazing and she’s going to change your life, and it’s going to be worth it, I promise.Don’t be such a music snob, kid. You could have loved 1D from 2010!

You take those safety pins off that shirt right now!

Sometimes, a firm fist to the nose does more than talking at some asshole who’s picking on someone that can’t stand up for themselves, and your record will be fine.Please, for the love of god, don’t drink that much Mountain Dew. There are lasting consequences to 6+ cans a day.Also, brush your teeth.You’re going to survive past 21, and you should plan accordingly.

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

Oh, gee, just one?

Purity culture is ridiculous is my big one. I don’t believe in “unproblematic” media. It lends itself to a harmful black-and-white way of thinking and doesn’t allow anyone to think critically about what they consume. It’s the idea that what you watch/read as an adult in fandom and media can lead to you basically breaking down as a decent human being.

So, like, media - let’s look at something like Gone With the Wind. Produced as a movie in 1939, and there are very obvious issues with racism and sexism (particularly marital consent). Now, you show that movie to a ten-year-old, you may need to explain that things were different then, we don’t use some of these words now because we’ve learned how harmful they are... maybe, if they’re ten, don’t get into the whole idea of the bodice-ripper thing, but the point stands. As an adult I have the critical thinking ability to recognize those issues and consume the media anyway without devolving into some racist, sexist Reconstruction relic.

Lolita is another one. It’s supposed to be disturbing. You’re supposed to be viewing things through the eyes of the predator, because it’s supposed to alarm you and draw attention to the issue and how those minds work. You’re supposed to walk away and think about it, it’s supposed to make you feel something.

Fandom purity culture is frustrating because everyone I know who writes “problematic” things - me included - is often doing so as a catharsis, or even just to explore something that they wouldn’t in real life. Like, I write murder and non-con. I’m not actually about to do those things in real life, but that’s the beauty of fiction, is that it’s not real life.

Also, it really heavily plays into the Slippery Slope fallacy and that ticks me off.

Sorry, I have strong feelings about this.

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

Theoretically, I wouldn’t do too badly if I had access to some kind of community or the ability to get to one in a timely manner.

Problems: arthritis and epilepsy are the main physical issues. So I wouldn’t be able to walk long distances or do any intense physical things on a regular basis. The epilepsy would mean I would at least have to have my basic needs met and ideally another person to watch my back and take care of me if I seize. This is all assuming I don’t have access to medication.

However, I am a very good shot, especially with a handgun or a youth rifle - not so much with bigger guns. I’m also scrappy, but I’d rather not get close enough to a zombie to have to hit it. I have a lot of halfway-decent skills that would make me valuable in a community-type setting - gardening, mechanical knowledge, cooking, textile/fabric work, childcare experience, scattered knowledge about first aid and medication, and trauma support.

My not-so-obvious valuable assets include a pretty ambiguously gray morality (in that I wouldn’t lose a lot of sleep over ‘doing what you have to do’ in terms of human attackers to make sure I and my loved ones survived unscathed), quite a few trauma and stress coping mechanisms, an ability to learn very quickly, a cool head under pressure (though I do lose my shit later on), a natural ability to manipulate, some silver-tongue and diplomacy skills, and a very high pain tolerance.

When you’re like me, in that you can’t really do wilderness survival and you can’t survive for long on your own, the trick is to find a group and make yourself valuable. It’s like when you work at a job and you learn to do things no one else can do, so they can’t fire you.

I’ve thought about this a lot, actually! Lol.

#ely answers #novemberhush

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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 7 years ago

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Lotor?

ngl, i squealed when i saw this. i get to talk about My Boy!!!

thank you for the ask

(send me characters and i’ll give thoughts on them!)

sorry, anti-lotor half of the vld fandom, but i love this guy to pieces and nothing y��all say can change that because 1. y’all’s attempts at critically saying he’s Bad are poorly done imo lmao, 2. i’m not so preoccupied with morality and purity culture that i stick my thumbs in my ears and try to shove plugs into other ppl’s ears, and 3. opinions are subjective.

like personally, i love complex characters set up as parallels and foils to major protagonists that are inherently anti-imperialist, archaeologists, and conservationists; are representative of a not-so-palatable reality of abuse survivorship; have issues of trauma, paranoia, and interpersonal defeatism; and are clearly being set up for a future arc that will be closely intertwined with said major protagonists—as well as driven by a deep, internal conviction and strength that has persisted against absolutely ridiculous odds—

but idk. your loss, i guess.

aesthetically: gorgeous. but i am very ace.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

don’t harangue me for not calling lotor a slytherin in case you support that side lol, but i read a really good meta on this a while ago that i agreed with here.

(gonna put the rest of this under a readmore since this gets to be A Lot.)

essentially, one of lotor’s core traits is the search for knowledge and scientific advancement for its own sake. there’s no way he doesn’t love learning—he spent centuries studying a culture that was extinct, a culture that by any imperialistic measures was worthless and weak because it opposed the empire and it was destroyed. one could hardly believe he began searching for the last remnants of altea for power or ambition. he studied them because he wanted to, for the sake of it, to connect to something that’s part of him.

in a lot of ways, he does exemplify slytherin traits—he can be exceptionally ruthless when he believes he or things/people he cares about are threatened, he is unusually preoccupied with a need for power and control, and his goals could be considered lofty and ambitious. however, much of these traits and desires can easily be linked to his trauma. one might make an argument that he’s still similar enough to honerva to qualify as a slytherin, but personally i think the story sets him up as opposing haggar without hypocrisy in too many ways to be persuaded.

(honerva wanted to continue her research despite the risks, endangering an entire planet and potentially the universe, because she saw the research as empowering. she saw her research—her own ambitions—as more important than anything else, and abandoned ethics like some burdensome shackle. but lotor is seen multiple times as unwilling to endanger people and planets for his goals without either being reasonably assured of their survival (such as voltron) or their consent. he despises cruelty and the taking away of others’ agency.)

in an ideal world, i think lotor would be an obvious ravenclaw. but his trauma has encouraged him to act like a slytherin.

best quality:

superficially: HIS NERDINESS. as soon as lotor started talking about ancient ruins, learning other cultures’ customs, and rattled off an entire poem he memorized off some old-ass cave wall he probably saw like 3 centuries before, i was absolutely done for. i had been trying to maintain my skepticism of him for skepticism’s sake, but god. you can’t just throw a goddamn archaeologist in my face and expect me to not fall deeply in love.

more seriously: i love lotor’s conviction. lotor has a strong sense of self, morality, and personal drive, especially for someone with his experiences.

he accepts and embraces both sides of his heritage as defining parts of who he is. in an empire that despises altean blood, he wields an altean broadsword, spends centuries studying what’s left of the culture, and openly admires the peace, people, and traditions of altea past. and in a castle of paladins and alteans, he demands to be judged “by [his] actions, rather than [the] preconceptions of [his] race,” knowing full well that team voltron perceives him as galra, and failing to inform them of his altean blood despite the clear benefits that would’ve come from doing so.

he has a code of conduct that’s repeatedly shown in sharp contrast to the ideals of the empire—even from his very introduction, when he stands in front of an entire arena of galran soldiers and refuses to compromise his own morals for a more rhetorically effective argument. lotor’s small, four-person team of generals (compared to the typical galran fleet) seizes an entire planet while killing no one and causing virtually no destruction.

he is also incredibly self-motivated. lotor has lived for centuries relying almost completely on himself, and he will ruthlessly protect himself and his own.

his inner strength is ridiculously admirable, and i love his self-assurance.

worst quality:

idk? usually ppl say flaws or some such here, but the problem is that flaws are more complicated than just “they do dumb things because of this adjective.”

also i love flaws. they’re born of the essence that makes a character who they are. hating their flaws is ridiculous.

with that said……..

fucking hate lotor’s hair. seriously, wtf? he can tuck all of it into his helmet and have it all fall back out nice and neatly. HOW. it’s the biggest lie of the entire show alongside allura’s bun. it’s just not possible and i hate that lotor defying reality just to look beautiful is Canon.

his butt cape. like akjhdkhgkghjgk,,, a genuine BUTT CAPE. for what purpose?? preference??? drama???????? i’ve seen comparisons to honerva’s own butt cape back when she was a normal empress-consort scientist on daibazaal, which makes sense since lotor loves making Fashion Statements, but god. a butt cape.

what on god’s heavenly green earth is up with his swordsmanship? the acrobatics and the flourishing are positively ridiculous. who the fuck actually tries killing a powerful emperor and their abuser by smashing them from above with a purple final fantasy sword like they’re the hammer and zarkon is a nail. lotor is unrealistic.

ship them with:

recovery and happiness.

brotp them with:

his generals. DUH. it’s clear that they’ve had a strong history together, and it’s impossible to have their relationship end here without any sort of resolution or confrontation about narti’s death. let them reunite under conciliatory terms. let them be friends again. (and let sincline return.)

allura for sure!!! their relationship development has been beautiful so far and i want to see that continue.

coran. they’re both Nerds. plus, one of them got to experience a full and long life on altea. let them talk.

the paladins in general. it might be difficult, slow-going, and hesitant/full of suspicion on both sides, but god—just imagine if they were friendly. (plus it would do worlds of good for lotor. he’s a lonely man, and it would even more clearly distance him from comparisons to zarkon.)

the blade of marmora (and keith). the show has said nothing so far, but i refuse to believe that in the past centuries, lotor and the blade have never interacted or crossed paths before. i can imagine why they would’ve been uninterested in alliance with each other, but i can also imagine what would make each appeal greatly to the other. let them interact. (as for keith, he and lotor have a lot of similarities. it’s real funny how similar allura, keith, and lotor all are to each other, really. hm.)

needs to stay away from:

haggar. she’s fake as hell and evil to boot. some ppl think that she’s reawakened some kind of dormant love in her for lotor after regaining more memories in s5, but that’s far from the case. someone who’s become and lived as she has for 10,000 years doesn’t suddenly care well about someone she’s abused horribly because she realizes she gave birth to them, and doesn’t suddenly become sympathetic in the good way because she’s “motherly” now. (not if the writing’s supposed to be decent, anyway.) she realizes lotor’s about to die and does absolutely nothing else except turn on the magic shiro television in her lab. she only finds out after the black bayard exchange has already happened, and she’s haggar. if she really wanted to stop what was happening, she could’ve done a lot more than just watch through shiro’s eyes. she’s a horrible person, folks, and lotor would do best to never see her again. (unfortunately, it’s much more likely that she will fuck his shit up some more next season. rip.)

zarkon. hopefully he actually stays dead this time, but i’ve seen some good points on how sketchy his ability to stay dead is. nevertheless, all memory of him deserves to be banished to the nether realms. lotor should never have to deal with that asshole’s legacy again.

misc. thoughts:

anyone who talks about lotor getting/not getting/deserving/not deserving a redemption arc makes me lose my shit because he hasn’t even done anything to warrant a redemption arc in the first place like tbfh. evil deeds whomst?? trying to kill voltron when?? where are these receipts of malice??? he’s never done an evil damn thing but y’all humoring the concept anyway. smh.

anyway, lotor needs a therapist, healing, and some good fucking friends. @dreamworks give lotor a recovery arc 2k18.

#luanna801 #ask #voltron #voltron meta #lotor #prim post #i talk a fucking lot about one of my favorite boys #in regards to the :)#i am trying to avoid siccing the tumblr shipping demons on myself #sorry

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olderthannetfic · 4 years ago

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“For a long time, Wincest was the most popular ship online.”

Bold claim! I wonder if one can really back that up. I’m thinking probably not, though she’s right that it was insanely popular.

“Quite frankly, as an adult, I do not operate in fandom thinking about teenagers.”

Yup.

Oh man... She brought up confurrititties. I agree with her that confederate bikini art is hella racist, but I think she missed some of the sides of that wank that were specifically critiquing the idea that the confederate flag and the objective fact that it’s a hate symbol are well understood outside of the US. A lot of the pushback around that whole situation was over how much the artist--as a non-US person--should have known what they were making rather than people just arguing that it’s okay to put that shitty flag on things. There was also a bunch of wanking about how it was a commission, yet people were primarily bothering the artist, not the person who requested the symbol. I also saw more “proshippers” on the “harassment is fine in this case” side, while she saw more on the “but my free speech!” side. Knowing twitter, I assume both were common.

Uh oh... Sarah Z supporter... let’s see where this goes...

I like that she was initially not a fan of Sarah’s dumbass tweet because, indeed, that minor was being fucking annoying and deserved to hear what an adult thought of them.

“As someone who got owned by adults as a teenager... it’s good for you sometimes.”

LOL. I like her.

She’s getting into pink triangle discourse now, of course. She’s skipping over the anti-Sarah narrative, which is that Sarah dug up other shit to try to show that that other account sucked, and nobody needed to even talk about the stupid pins in the first place. But okay, I can see how Sarah’s friend would not come at it from that angle.

On the upside, she felt the pins were “tacky”, which is the right kind of word here because it’s about her emotional response to them and thus valid. OTOH, the idea that it’s bad to put a pink triangle on a pin that’s about being queer and... well, anything, is simply incorrect. (Okay, you shouldn’t put them on a pin that’s like “Queer + Nazi”, but if you’re making queer Nazi pins, you have bigger problems.) But if you want to make a pin that’s for queer fans of this show or that ship or ice cream or whatthefuckever, you can put the pink triangle on that.

Now she’s getting into people huffily explaining shit to her on twitter. I assume this is all super accurate because people always want to explain things in offensively obvious and stupid ways and always go “you sound white” and other bad behavior like that. I do think she missed a lot of why people were annoyed at Sarah, but if she says people were being asshats to her, I believe her.

She goes on to correctly call out that thing where people only care about black fans’ opinions to win some dumbass shipwar and do their level best to erase all the black fans on the other side of the wank du jour. I see this a lot too.

“To me, purity culture is dangerous because it never actually helps victims.”

Bingo!

TBH, I’m still rolling my eyes at her not getting some of the nuance around the pink triangle drama, but I like how this video keeps returning to its actual points, which are about overall purity culture (which is more antis), that the youtuber herself is more or less a proshipper, and that the people using the actual word ‘proshipper’ are often hypocritical bullies engaging in the same shitty behavior as the anti side. I was sort of using that word for myself for a while, but the way it’s used on twitter is nothing I want to associate myself with.

She laid out the issues with wanting everything to be moral and justified very nicely: Basically, it has led to fandom trying to explain away and justify all bad character behavior instead of just being able to enjoy a character who is also doing bad things. Not terribly healthy.

I’m about 30 minutes in. I don’t think we’re going to agree on everything, but I like how this video keeps returning to the idea that the whole thing is messy and that zero sides or demographics or whatever are monoliths.

Have you seen the new Melina Pendulum “Purity Culture & Fandom... Issa Mess” video. I heard she defended Sessrin in it which is promising, but I’d love to hear a review before I watch because a) it’s long and b) I don’t want to end up watching hate and getting triggered.

I'm not familiar with her at all. Sounds interesting though.

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not-poignant · 8 years ago

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Hi Pia! Hope you don't mind if I ask you a question... Both of the fandom I'm in I've been in for awhile and I love them but I've gotten kind of burnt out on them... I used to write fics and be really involved but I can't anymore because the fandom have started to make me hate everything about it, especially my fave ships :( I want to get involved again but I'm scared and don't know how... What did you do to help comfortable to stay writing again for rotg?

Hiya anon!

You might not like my response, so I’m going to give you two responses lol.

Response one:

I dealt with toxic shit in the RotG fandom by leaving the RotG fandom. I finished out my stories (at the time finishing ISWF was really hard, and there was covert harrassment in the tags re: what I wrote), and I unfollowed most people connected to the fandom or who were reblogging stuff to do with the fandom, and I stopped reading fanfiction connected to it, and I took like...god, about a year and a half off.

In that time I wrote two RotG stories without re-engaging with the source material or reading any RotG fics. I didn’t tag surf, I didn’t discuss meta with anyone else, and I usually knocked back requests to engage in the fandom again. The only RotG thing I’d engage on, was SAL.

I didn’t do it to cope with the fandom, I did it because I was thoroughly over the fandom and its bullshit. There were a lot of folks at the time who wrote the majority of the early, popular fics who actually all checked out at that time (or over the following six months), and almost no one has come back. The drama was just too blech, and even a year and a half ago / two years ago, people talked about like...how ‘dead’ the fandom was. People moved onto other things.

So, this is probably not what you were expecting. As a coping mechanism, if I based any advice off that, it would be ‘leave the fandom and stop writing your fic until you want to write it again.’

When I came back to RotG it was because I really wanted to, but in order to avoid drama, I still don’t follow many RotG blogs and I don’t tag surf except on the rare occasion.

Response two:

So let me talk about another fandom that I came to mostly despise and yet still wanted to keep writing a really long fic. And that’s the Dragon Age fandom. *takes a deep breath, sighs it out.*

When I started writing Stuck on the Puzzle I began to follow fandom blogs and meta blogs and I think all in all I was following about 20. Dragon Age, at least when I was writing SotP was filled with tons of callout posts - often very aggressive and based on dogpiling and outrage culture. No one was free from this, regardless of what they were doing, and the character I was writing (Cullen Rutherford) drew a great deal of ire from people I respected. I didn’t like blind Cullen love, which often meant I was dealing with blind Cullen hatred. Or alternatively fans who sought to ‘prove’ that they could be Cullen critical to the popular, dogpiling crew of the time.

The push to guilt-trip readers for not commenting has a huge piece of heartwood in this fandom too. So there was just aggression everywhere. The readers weren’t good enough. The writers weren’t good enough or writing the right themes or doing them well enough. (It’s incredibly crushing, btw to keep writing in this environment). If writers quit it was the reader’s fault, or Tumblr’s fault. If readers quit it was the fault of the writers, or Tumblr. Basically everything was always someone else’s fault and people didn’t really own their shit. This was the place where I got introduced to like, preliminary purity and anti culture before the words ‘purity’ and ‘anti’ became words.

So here’s what I did:

- I unfollowed everyone except about 2 people in the DA fandom on Tumblr. Yes, this meant dropping a lot of people, even people I really liked. If they supported the drama, they were out. - I stopped tag surfing everything except my incredibly rarepair. - I went back through my DA tag and specifically looked at artwork and all the things I’d come to love that inspired me to write the thing in the first place. - I re-engaged with the source material.

In other words, I dropped out of fandom while still producing a fanwork. It was the best thing I decided to do. It was never really the meta and shit that inspired me the most anyway. It was always the source material and my interacting with that. And it was maybe a few pieces of fanart. Otherwise, everything came from my brain anyway, and I didn’t need anything else. I certainly didn’t need the drama, and getting the occasional awesome piece of fanart floating across my dash wasn’t worth everything else happening.

And those two/three people I kept around still posted awesome fanart and stuff from time to time anyway. Also they’re awesome people.

But yeah, I never stayed comfortable writing for RotG. In fact, for a while, I hated it. I’d been really hurt by certain things within the fandom, and the drama hit too close to home, and I decided it wasn’t worth it. It’s fine to do that by the way, you’ll find another fandom eventually (I found many), and if you’re meant to find your way back to the fandom, you will.

If you really want to stay in the fandom though, I do recommend some pretty drastic actions to stay in it. Fandom drives a lot of fanwork/content producers away sometimes.

Also, additionally, it’s just normal to kind of not want anything to do with a ship or a fandom for a while? Even if you love it? Burn out is normal, and may just signify that you need something from a fandom that your current fandom / ships aren’t giving you. Being in that space between one fandom and another kind of sucks, but it may be worth using this time to like...explore other things you love, watch some new shows and movies, read some new books, and remember the joy of what it is to engage in the source material in the first place. I wish you luck!

#asks and answers #pia on fandom #pia on fanfiction #personal #i mean i've burnt out on fae tales #it's partly why there's been such a long gap between TIP and COFT #because i just wanted to do other things for a while #and i did my Dragon Age fic #and still couldn't escape the drama #honestly like i have come to cherish tiny fandoms #for their general lack of drama #huge fandoms with source material that's more diverse than average but still problematic #(like everything is)#are often the worst fandoms lol #administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue #Anonymous

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

Text

Like, you wanna know why I get so feral about people being ‘just mind the tags’?

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

dick grayson should could would can and must be raped

There’s two back to back tags that tell me everything I need to know to avoid the fic, but guess what, I don’t actually have to read the fucking fic to get pissed as hell that some of you assholes really do get off to stuff you summarize as ‘this character should be raped cuz that’s hot to me’ but lol, don’t like don’t read, amirite guys? First page of the Dick Grayson tag, bam, unavoidable if you don’t have the right things blacklisted, which....there was literally no way to blacklist and avoid seeing that fic and its summary and tags, because half of the Dick Grayson content is tagged rape/non-con elements because WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A CHARACTER NOTEWORTHY FOR BEING A CANON RAPE SURVIVOR, OF FUCKING COURSE A TON OF HIS STORIES ARE GONNA HAVE THAT ELEMENT AND THUS THAT TAG.

There’s literally NO way for me to avoid dealing with the reactions that come from looking for content about a character I identify with and look for content about BECAUSE he’s a canon rape survivor, only to instead find shit like ‘he should would would and MUST be raped’...short of just....avoiding fandom altogether.

But that’s really what some of you want, right? That’s why you’re SO QUICK to jump to accusing antis of censorship and trying to control what content people do and don’t post.

Because that’s where some of your minds immediately go. Thinking about how much you wish you could make those of us who are vocal about having a problem with certain kinds of content, who say things that make you feel guilty or defensive about stuff you’re just trying to enjoy and have a good time with.....like, you wish we’d just go away, and leave your fandoms in peace, isn’t that the truth? You don’t actually give a fuck about survivors when its interfering with getting your smut on, like, priorities are priorities, lmao.

Its just so interesting to me that some of you just take it for granted that you’re entitled to a fandom experience free of being inconvenienced and hassled by people who want you to feel bad about certain things you like.......but meanwhile, flip of a switch, and you’re laughing contemptuously at how entitled some of us are, that we act like we should be able to have fandom experiences free of racism, homophobia and the glamorization of rape culture.

I don’t want to censor even crap like this fic. I don’t want to control what people do or don’t post. I don’t want to police anyone.....

I literally just want people to pull their heads out of their asses and spend a few seconds thinking about how fucked up it is that they care more about protecting their hobby of writing and reading rape fantasies than they do about the impact on the actual real life people who share a fandom with them, and in fact, produce a lot of the content they themselves enjoy on the occasions they branch out beyond just a noncon fixation.

You’re not anymore entitled to a comfortable fandom experience than I am, jackasses, and you can rant about purity culture all you want, but I’m pretty fucking sure my stance of “I want to be able to enjoy a single day in fandom without being triggered by not even little minor hard to predict triggers, but fucking blatant over the top shit” has the high ground over your “I want to be able to enjoy a single day of reading and getting comments on rape fics without other people making me feel bad about it.”

Sorry not sorry, but if the feelings of me and people like me aren’t in any way, shape or form a priority for some of you, I find it utterly laughable that there’s this vibe that I should still be mindful of YOUR feelings and not subject you to the ‘discourse drama’ that you find so terribly tiresome and pedestrian.

#rape cw

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