#get some rest and stop your useless worrying

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

y’all are all worried about the election, i got a test tomorrow i can’t worry about that

[purinfelix]

you're here, that's the thing ˚⟡˖ ࣪ - franco colapinto

summary: your boyfriend tries his best to make your schedules, as a racer and student, work - even when miles apart w/c: 900

a/n: it's finals season for me and i needed to write something self-indulgent as a break from cramming forgive me 🙏

Being a full-time student was one thing, but being a full-time student in a relationship with an extremely clingy boyfriend, who also happened to be travelling the world to race in Formula One, was a whole other challenge.

You and Franco had had some time to adjust to a long-distance relationship since you started dating, having such different lives, and managed to make it work for the most part. But now, with him having to wholly commit to his racing and finals season rolling around for you, it put a strain on your relationship that neither of you was ready for.

It was a strange paradox - the less free time you had outside of classes and studying, the less you were able to spend talking to him, and the more you wanted just to drop everything and fly to where he was. Your morning texts and voice message updates stopped being enough, and before you knew it you struggled to go longer than an hour studying without sending your boyfriend a message to whine and complain.

You were fully aware of how immature and irresponsible this was, but this awareness did little to stop you. And it didn't exactly help that Franco seemed to share the same sentiment, telling you again and again how hard it was for him as well, how racing seemed almost impossible without you there to cheer him on. It hurt, but the two of you just had to do everything you could to get through it - for you to focus on your studies and for him to try his best at racing.

All this came to a head one Sunday though, the afternoon before one of your final exams and - because of the time difference - the night before Franco's next race. Sitting in your dorm alone, surrounded by piles of textbooks, notes and scattered pens you felt a sudden jolt of vulnerability and before you knew it you were reaching for your phone.

"Can you call?" you typed quickly to your boyfriend, your eyes lighting up upon seeing the three dots begin moving almost instantly.

"My gosh, I was just going to ask you the same thing," he replied, and before you knew it your phone was springing to life with a call from him. Clicking accept, you couldn't help but smile widely at the sight of his face.

"Hi," you say, almost shyly.

"Hi baby, how are you?"

"Good," you pause, "stressed."

He nods understandingly, "You're holding up okay, hm? Taking care of yourself?"

"Of course, Franco," you laugh at his almost motherly concern, "and you?"

"Nervous, of course."

"Well, that makes two of us." You pause after speaking, for some reason this call is turning out less enjoyable and more awkward than you hoped.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really tired," you hear your boyfriend say and when you look up you can definitely see it, his eyelids half closing over deep, dark circles under them.

"Do you want to sleep? I have to study anyways."

You watch as he chews his bottom lip, thinking of what to say though once he finally talks his voice is small, almost like a confession. "But I wanted to talk to you."

"We are talking Franco, and we can talk tomorrow once you rest."

This doesn't seem to quell his worries though, his brows still knitted in thought. "I just feel so useless knowing that you're struggling and stressed and I can't even keep you company like I normally do."

You nod sympathetically until an idea pops into your head. "We can keep the call on, carry me over to your bed - you'll sleep and I'll study."

Even through the fatigue pulling him down, Franco nods enthusiastically, doing as you say. You watch him sink into the plush white bedsheets of whatever hotel he's in, and whilst you feel a little jealous at his ability to rest right now, you turn back to your desk and start pulling out your notes.

"You'll be okay," you hear him mumble.

"What do you mean?"

"With your exams," he smiles sleepily, eyes flitting as he watches you pick up your highlighters and pens, "you're the smartest person I know."

"I don't know how much that's saying, you didn't even finish high school baby."

"Hey! I was trying to be nice," he says, feigning offence though there's a soft smile across his face.

"You're right, I'm sorry," you laugh, "you'll be okay as well, with your race tomorrow."

"I hope so."

"I know so."

"I wish you were here," he sighs, looking at you earnestly and all you can do is give him a nod in agreement.

"But for now," you wave your pen to hint at the fact that you need to get back to cramming and he seems to get the hint.

"Right, right, you won't even know I'm here," he assures you.

And despite that, the entire night passes without you once forgetting it. Not that he's distracting or anything, in fact he falls asleep mere minutes after telling you that - leaving you to work peacefully for the rest of the night. Instead, his presence, even as he sleeps, even through a screen and halfway across the world, is enough. You find yourself smiling as you study because maybe having a long-distance boyfriend, even one as clingy as Franco, has been a blessing in disguise all this time.

[moondirti]

johnny wears his sense of duty like a gold-gleaming badge of honour. and if you were to ask any one of his doting relatives, they'd tell you that indeed, he's a stand-up lad. the best our clan’s got tae offer.

johnny hones his sense of duty like a sword of high-carbon steel. his brothers in arms each have a story to credit their continued survival to him. carried me out the crash site while under heavy fire. anyone else would have left me for dead.

johnny wields his sense of duty like a heat-resistant kevlar shield. that is to say, do enough good for God and He will align your interests.

the train is empty and the hour is late. any partner worth their salt would not let you be here alone under these conditions – in your condition. he thinks it says something about your lack of one. or he's just hoping; just testing the line that marks how far he's willing to go.

he's antsy in his seat across the car. his right leg jumping, and not for their jostling along the tracks. a weight like a stone grows heavy in his crotch. he itches to adjust it, to pull his cock up under his waistband. but he's also staring, has been staring, and while he doesn't think you've noticed yet, you definitely will when the strange man donning fatigues sticks his hands down his pants.

there's a level he knows not to reach for while this exposed. johnny would rather keep his reputation shiny in the eye of the public. likes the praise too much to consider damaging it, like a dog stowing his messes under the couch.

so he sits, twitching but patient. a good old boy. sniffs. rests his elbows on his knees and squeezes his legs together to slyly grind into himself. he imagines what you must smell like between those soft legs of yours, imagines rubbing his face against the gusset of your underwear to soak himself in the scent. he's no stranger to pussy, he wonders if it tastes any different. his stare flattens over your calves. he tries to gather some phantom estimate in the salivate coating his tongue.

he thumbs the latin cross pendant he wears around his neck. God answers with a particular rough shake of the train car.

having already been fixated on your bottom half, he's one of the first to notice. second to only you, of course. a surge of water gushes out between your legs, splattering across the floor to become a puddle underneath your feet. your darling little face drops, eyes blowing comically wide as your hand slaps over your mouth in disbelief. the man standing next to you stumbles away, lifting his shoes to check for any damage. an old lady tuts.

and then, silence. no one does anything but stare.

johnny jumps from his seat, jogging to hover over you.

"ye awright, hen? aww, aw, c'mon. it's okay, y'wee thing. shhhh," he helps you up out of your seat, smoothing one hand down your back and the other over your heavy belly. one look at his clothing, at the MTP print that could only mean one thing, and you're leaning your full weight into him, blinking back a barrage of tears.

"s-sor– i'm so sorry. i– i think... think that was– my water broke." you sniff, tucking your face into his side to hide from the useless muppets surrounding you. he feels a swell of pride stretching the walls of his chest. his cock hasn't stopped throbbing despite the commotion.

"naebody faults ye for it. a’natural. a blessin', aye?" he says, not before clearing his throat of the lust he's sure coats it. "have ye got a birth plan? any hospital ye've made preparations wi'?"

"n-no." you shake your head. your voice is muffled between his layers of clothing, and he notices the gooseflesh of your skin just then. he's slipping his coat off within seconds, draping it over your shoulders, then combs the sweaty baby hairs off your temple. his fingers look rough, too big, against the dewy stretch of your forehead.

"there’s one near the next station. we’ll get aff there. ah’ll stick wi' ye, bonnie. ye dinnae have tae worry aboot a thing but yersel'."

and you nod, because of course you do. he's got commitment practically tattooed right there on his arm, alongside the SAS emblem and the cursive 141 gaz made him get on a dare. and johnny peddles that sense of duty like the psyops they've been taught to watch out for — to cover up the fact that it's a commitment to the wrong thing.

(he'll stick with you, alright.)

[pomefioredove]

Hiya! Hope you're doing okay, and take it easy if you haven't been!

For the flirty prompts starters list, could you maybe do: "Stop saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you." with Vil? I think it'd be a good one

Thanks!

(I hope you have fun writing this if you do! No biggie if you don't or if someone else already asked!)

GIGGLING SO MUCH

summary: "stop saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you" type of post: short fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, Vil experiencing cuteness aggression.jpg, not proofread a part of this event

Vil considers himself to be an eloquent man.

After all, how one speaks is just as important as how one carries themselves, and every last inch of him, from his looks to his body language to his words, have been refined to perfection. Each a golden thread in the dazzling tapestry that is Vil Schoenheit.

And yet, despite that, he still can't seem to find a way to describe you.

Frustrating is not quite right. Epel is frustrating. Those first years you insist on spending your precious time with are frustrating. But you...

You are not annoying, nor are you incompetent. His usual vocabulary for the students of NRC is useless when it comes to you.

...And different is too vague.

Vil just seems to forget what to do with his hands when you're around.

You look so soft in the golden afternoon light of the lounge, which is distracting enough as it is. Now you're giggling in the way you do, and he can't concentrate, and... what was he doing, again?

"Stop that," he says, plainly, not looking up from the textbook he'd been reading. Or trying to, anyway. He'd lost his place some time ago.

You make this... sound, this confused little hum, and he pictures you tilting your head to the side like a puppy. Sevens, you're just so...

He huffs. "I said, stop,"

"Stop what?"

Clueless little thing. Vil sighs, finding it within himself to make eye contact. He'd given up on finishing this assignment early, anyway.

"You know what,"

You stare back, unblinking. Are you really so oblivious? No, there's no way you aren't doing this on purpose, whatever it is, just to get on his nerves. Did those friends of yours put you up to this?

He should scold you. He invited you to study with him, a luxury which many would pay millions for, and here you are, being...

Ugh. He still can't think of the right word.

"Am I being too loud?" you ask, a confused lilt in your voice.

Sevens, you are so dense, he wants to just grab you and squeeze you like a stress ball until a thought comes out of that empty head.

The thought of that is no help. If anything, it just bothers him more.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. Are you really not doing this on purpose? "No. You're distracting me,"

"Oh... sorry,"

...In such a soft, meek little tone, like you really feel bad about it, looking up at him with those eyes of yours... ugh. He wants to bite you, squeeze you in his arms until this overwhelming, restless feeling passes. You're so...

"It's... fine," Vil relents. "I don't think I would've gotten much done today, anyway."

You actually tilt your head to the side this time, worsening his condition. "Something on your mind?"

Sevens, what are you doing to him? He can't sit still. He pictures himself reaching across the table to pinch your cheeks, to kiss that sweet, worried expression off your face. The effect you have...

And you're not even doing anything!

"No," he says, his voice strained with the weight of the lie. "Just burnout. It's a busy time of year for me."

You seem to take that as a cue, standing from your seat with wide eyes and holding out a hand, much to his chagrin.

"You should be resting, then. Overworking yourself will only make things worse. Come on, let's go back,"

Such a determined expression on that pretty face of yours. There's just something about how you respond so innocently, so intent on caring for him, you're...

You're so...

Vil feels his heart drop. Oh, Sevens. That's the word.

You're so cute.

"Stop that," he snaps. He can feel his face warming. "This is the last time I'll ask."

A little flash of annoyance crosses your face at his dismissal. How adorable...

"Stop what?" You repeat.

Even your scoff is cute. His face feels hot. He can handle beautiful. Gorgeous, pretty, sexy, even, But not cute. And now he's getting himself all worked up over it, and you're being so sweet, and...

"Stop saying things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you!"

Nothing has ever had such an effect on him before.

After all, it would take something incredible to fluster Vil- and here he is, blurting out every thought he has, blushing like a schoolgirl as he realizes what just came out of his mouth.

Vil Schoenheit, suddenly terrified of being rejected. It was as if he'd woken up in a parallel universe.

Or died, and went to his own personal Hell.

The shock slowly wears off your face, and you... laugh.

You laugh.

"You're very forward,"

"I'll take that as a compliment, and not the way you meant it," he mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. "Though I'm failing to find what's so amusing."

You move around the table to sit next to him, eyes gleaming. "How would you like me to react, then?"

Vil stares back. Was that... flirtation? Perhaps you're not so oblivious, after all...

But still cute.

Still very cute.

He sighs, though there's a smile playing at his lips now. "Save me the embarrassment of being rejected,"

"Hmm... I suppose that can be arranged,"

And with that, he cups your face in his hands and draws you in for that kiss.

[absurdthirst]

Mother's Day Surprise {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11.4k

Warnings: Menstrual blood/cramping, violent attack, near death, surgery, comma, mentions of blood and disturbing scenes, recovery, assistance with basic needs, helping Joel shower, confessions of feelings, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, pull out method, mentions of family planning, breeding kink, dirty talk, cream pie, infertility, depression, feelings of worthlessness, death, harsh and cruel world, babies

Comments: Helping Joel Miller recover from a horrific attack leads to a life you never knew possible.

**🚨🚨 Contains spoilers for Season 2 of The Last of Us🚨🚨**

A/N: Happy Mother's Day to all those lovely moms out there and anyone wishing to become one in the future. Being a mom doesn't necessarily mean biologically. 💜

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

You grunt, squinting as you struggle to see in the dark. It's the middle of the night, the sun not yet peeking through the curtains, and you wonder why you woke up until your stomach twists and you realize you're wet between your thighs. "No. No. No. No." You cry, tears in your eyes as you scramble out of bed and rush into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You shove your shorts down and sob at the blood that's gathered there. You got your period. Again. You sit down on the toilet and gather some paper to clean yourself up while you try to smother your cries but there's a knock at the door and Joel's voice  resonates through it, "are you okay, sweetheart?" He asks and you choke out, "the bed." Joel walks over to turn the lamp on, his eyes widening at the blood on the sheets. "Oh sweetheart." He sighs, resting his forehead against the door frame. "I'm sorry, baby. I - I am useless." You sob and he rattles the door handle, "let me in." He demands and you flush the toilet, washing your hands before you open the door. Joel immediately wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. "We will try again." He promises, "I didn't give up when I was recovering and we won't give up now." He assures you while you sob into his chest.

He sighs, not even going to deny his own disappointment, although people who used to know him in the Boston QZ would never believe it. Joel Miller, disappointed that you aren’t pregnant. The very obvious sign of his seed not taking root staining the sheets of the bed you share. He shouldn’t want a child. He’s closer to fucking sixty years old than not, just a few years shy and yet he finds himself wanting to see you round with his child. His second child by blood, his third in his heart. Ellie is staying with Dina tonight, so he doesn’t have to worry about waking her up as your sobs wrack your body. “You aren’t useless.” He soothes, frowning when he remembers your emotional words. Standing in the bathroom, he wishes there was something that he could do, fertility doctors from twenty plus years ago were a thing of the past. Most people do not want to bring children into this fungi infested world, but here in Jackson, he has hope for the future. Hope for a chance to pass on a legacy.

You cling to him, knowing he's disappointed. Lord knows you've been trying enough but you just can't seem to get pregnant. It's like you are cursed and you wonder if Joel's injuries hurt your chances.

****

You gasp when you look up to see a mangled man carried into the hospital. You set your cup of coffee down and stand up, the resident doctor rushing around to try and stop the bleeding. "What the hell?" You ask and a teenage girl is clinging to his hand as the team try to wheel him into the surgery room. "Joel. Joel. Don't leave me." She pleads, tears in her eyes, and you reach for her. "He's in good hands, sweetheart. Come here. Let the doctor work." You manage to drag her away and she wraps her arms around you and sobs, "I didn't know - she nearly - they nearly- it's all my fault." She chokes and you rub her back, frowning at the doors where the man disappeared.

Hours later, the door swings open and the doctor comes back through, his work scrubs stained with blood. Ellie had been impatiently sitting and leaps out of her seat. “Is he alive? Where is he? I want to see him.” She demands, making the doctor lift his hands slightly. “He’s alive.” He reassures her, making her tense shoulders slump with relief and tears prick her eyes. “There was massive trauma to the head, and-“ Ellie interrupts him. “Of course there is, that bitch tried to beat him to death with a fucking golf club.”

Your eyes widen at the news that he was nearly beaten to death. You wrap your arm around Ellie’s shoulder. She had rambled about how Joel saved her, how much she loves him, how he’s the father she never had. Her words made your heart melt and you silently prayed he pulled through. “It’s going to be a long road to recovery. For now, we will monitor him and see if he pulls through the night. It’s touch and go still.” The doctor warns Ellie who nods, “he will pull through. Joel is a stubborn fucker.” You chuckle and rub her upper arm, “let’s get you something to eat and a shower and we can come back when he’s settled in a room.” You suggest and she’s reluctant to leave but the doctor nods, “he’s unconscious. Will be for a few days at least. His body needs rest. Go get some food and he will be waiting for you.” Ellie nods and lets you guide her to your house. Her home needs to be cleaned up and you don’t want her to see the aftermath of the battle that occurred in her home.

Joel had put up a fight. Furniture is broken, the mirror in the hallway - one he had grumbled about every day when it showed him how old he is - is shattered. Shards of glass and spurts of blood splash the walls. Ellie grimaces and stops at the blood stain on the floor right by the open front door. Obviously no one had cared about closing up the house when rushing Joel off to the hospital. “Right.” She sighs, turning when she hears someone running towards her. “Ellie! Fuck, is Joel alright?” Breathless, Tommy stops in front of the teenager and his face almost begs her to tell him that his older brother is okay. “I tracked her, but she got away.” He explains; that being the reason he wasn’t at the hospital earlier. “She went to the river and I couldn’t track her from there.” 

Ellie straightens her back, shaking her head, “that fucking bitch.” She growls and you answer Tommy’s question. “Joel had surgery. He’s unconscious right now. Still in the air as to him waking up without brain damage. The doctor did the best he could but it…it was bad.” You admit and Tommy closes his eyes, needing to see his brother. “I need to see him.” He says and you nod, “he’s unconscious still. I’m going to get Ellie changed and get her something to eat.” You tell Tommy who reaches out to squeeze Ellie’s shoulder. “Get something to eat, kid. I’ll let you know if anything changes.” Tommy promises and Ellie doesn’t say anything else, going quiet. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

You nod, “go clean up. I’ll get started on trying to clean this up.” You tell her and she makes her way upstairs. You sigh, looking over at the pool of blood and you feel sick. You’ve always had a crush on the older Miller brother since he arrived at Jackson, but you’re certain he doesn’t even know you exist. 

****

You check Joel’s pulse, his eyes moving beneath his eyelids. He’s still unconscious, has been for a few days, and the hospital isn’t equipped with equipment to test brain function. All you can do is watch and wait to see if he will wake up.

Joel hurts, every inch of his body hurts and it feels like he’s trying to move mountains just to open his eyes. Fingers twitching and he opens his mouth, groaning quietly.

You gasp when you hear him groan, watching his eyes flutter, and you let go of his wrist, calling for the doctor. The doctor comes in and you gesture to Joel, “he is waking up.” The doctor nods, checking Joel over, his bandages wrapped around his head, and they had to shave his head to perform the surgery. You wonder if he will be angry about losing his hair. Ellie is in the waiting room so you head out to see her. “He’s awake.” You tell her and she stands up, “he is. I want to see him.” You shake your head, “the doctor is checking him over. Let’s give them some time.”

It takes a long time to understand what the doctors are telling him, frowning in confusion and wondering why his head feels like it’s been squashed like a grape. Moving is slower and he hisses in pain when he learns that his ribs have been broken and his leg is also fractured. Opening his mouth, it’s hard to get a word out. “E-E-El-Ellie.” He manages, needing to see her.

The doctor nods, “she’s okay.” You escort Ellie into the room, wanting her to see her father is awake, and she rushes over to the bed. “Joel. Joel. I’m sorry.” Ellie chokes, reaching for his hand. He groans as he squeezes her hand, silently assured that she’s okay.” You watch their reunion with tears in your eyes from the doorway.

“D-d-don’t bl-ame y-your-self.” Joel rasps out, still fuzzy on what happened. He doesn’t remember anything much before waking up in the hospital. Although he gets the sense he was angry- desperate. He groans in pain when she lunges forward to hug him, but he doesn’t push her away. 

You watch Ellie hug him and you know in that moment you’ll do whatever you can do to make sure Joel gets better. Ellie pulls back after several moments and the doctor checks Joel’s vitals. “He needs some more time here so we can observe him.” Ellie nods at the doctor’s words and you walk over to rub her back.

“I’m going be honest, Mr. Miller,” the doctor tells him as he pulls back. “I am surprised that you even woke up. There was significant bleeding and swelling of the brain. Tests seem positive but there could be damage that hasn’t manifested itself yet.” He tells Joel. “It’s going to be a long road to recovery for you.”

Joel doesn’t say anything. He was nearly murdered. He knows he shouldn’t be alive right now. Ellie sniffs as she steps back and Joel attempts to squeeze her hand. The doctor grabs his clipboard and looks at Joel’s recent vitals. “Waking up was half the struggle. Let’s monitor you and go from there.” The doctor says, “and we will keep running tests.” Joel grunts out an “okay” and you offer him a smile, “you’re a fighter just like Ellie said. She’s lucky to have you.”

You’re familiar to him, he can’t place it, but his thoughts are still fuzzy and jumbled. “How- how long have I been here?” He asks after a moment. “Three days.” Ellie answers and he frowns. “Who- where have you been sleeping?”

Ellie says your name, “I have been staying in her house. She has been cleaning our house because there was too much blood and - and it was a mess.” Ellie reveals and Joel’s eyes are hazy as they meet yours, silently saying goodbye thank you and you nod in response. “Just focus on getting better, Ellie and I are enjoying some girl time.” You tease, winking at Ellie who chuckles.

****

Joel stays in hospital for two weeks and you look after Ellie, preparing his home for his return, and when the doctor declares him fit to leave, he says that he needs someone to look after him. He still can’t shower by himself, he needs help eating and he struggles to walk alone. It’s going to be a long recovery for Joel. “I can help,” Ellie says without hesitation as Joel sits on the edge of the bed.

“You can’t help me do everything.” Joel grunts, knowing that he could never allow the teenage girl to help him shower or get to fucking bathroom. “I- Tommy-“ his brother has been by to visit every day, and he’s talked to him about taking Ellie. He doesn’t know how he will manage, but he also knows he can’t burden Maria and their baby with his convalesce.

“Tommy is out of town on a scouting mission.” Ellie says, knowing Joel’s brother was set on revenge for his brother’s condition. He just had to track Abby down. “I can help.” You volunteer, feeling close to him despite not having a full conversation with him. Spending time with Ellie, hearing her stories about Joel and his bravery had made you fond of him. “I can help him at home.” You offer and the doctor looks to Joel for his answer.

His eyes slide to you, unsure why you would volunteer to help him, but the doctor immediately nods. “That would be a good idea.” He agrees. “You can check his bandages and make sure that he doesn’t get an infection.” He smiles at the three of you like it’s a done deal and Joel frowns slightly, not sure if he likes the idea of you helping him.

You nod, noticing Ellie’s grateful smile, and you look at Joel, “it’s for the best. I can monitor your health and help you. I’m a nurse. It’s a medical decision.” You tell him and he grunts, knowing he doesn’t have a choice. He’s discharged and you wheel him to the doctor’s truck, knowing Joel won’t be able to walk home. You arrive outside of the house and Joel grunts, “I can walk.” He doesn’t want a wheelchair so you let him wrap his arm around you to guide him into the house. “Take your time.” You reassure him, “no need to rush.”

The shuffle is slow and painful, making him huff in irritation that he can’t move like he would want to. Even as he’s gotten older and been slower, he’s been able to move how he wanted to. Now, in a cast and recovering from nearly dying, he needs help. Ellie jumps forward to open the door and he’s glad to see that the scene that had been left from the attack you told him about has been cleaned away. He will have to thank you for that. “Fuck.” He pants, out of breath and in pain just because of the short walk from the truck to the house. “I don’t know how the fuck I’m getting upstairs.”

“We moved a bed downstairs.” You tell him, “you won’t be going upstairs for a while.” You escort him into the living room and help him settle down on the bed. He’s only wearing socks so he groans as he sits down and you help him lay on the bed. “You need to rest as much as possible. Let me get you some water. Are you hungry?” You ask, helping him settle against the pillows.

“Can you cook better than the shit they served at the hospital?” He grumbles, having not enjoyed the food there. He’s relieved to be home and his head hurts a little bit less today than before. He’s got a plate covering the fractured portion of his skull and they actually had to remove a large chunk of the bone.

You chuckle, “I like to think so. I’m glad your appetite is back. What do you feel like? I make a mean mac and cheese.” You adjust his pillow and Ellie comes to sit down next to him. “She’s a really good cook. Like really good. I’ve been helping make cheese and we even made a cake.” She tells Joel with wide eyes, shocked at how this place is like life in books she read.

“Sure.” Joel agrees, the little fissure of pain at the mention of a cake isn’t as rough as it might once have been. The last night she had been alive, Sarah had wanted a cake desperately for Joel’s birthday. “Make something the kid likes.” He suggests. “I eat anything.”

You smile, liking how he caters to Ellie, and you know that Ellie told the truth about the man she considers a father. “What do you want, sweetheart?” You ask her and she nods, “Mac and cheese.” You ask if she wants to help you while Joel gets settled in and Ellie follows you into the kitchen so you can get started on the food and you pour Joel a glass of water. “You want to take this to Joel?” You ask Ellie who takes the glass and takes it to her father figure.

Joel listens to the sound of people talking in the kitchen and it’s so strange. He can’t make out what’s being said, but he can hear voices. It’s almost unsettling that there is someone else in the safe, cozy home that he and Ellie have managed to carve out for themselves. Tommy told him that Abby, the girl who had attacked him, was the daughter of the doctor he had killed to save Ellie. His past sins were coming back to haunt him, but he doesn’t regret not letting the teen sacrifice herself for a lost cause.

Ellie comes back out to hand Joel the glass of water and he takes it, taking a sip. “Thanks, kid.” He says and she sits down at the edge of his bed. “I- I thought I was gonna lose you.” She whispers, her brown eyes meeting his, “I was scared.” She admits and Joel feels his chest tighten, tears stinging in his eyes. “But you didn’t. I survived and I ain’t going anywhere, kid.” He promises, reaching out to squeeze her hand with his free one. “She been looking after you?” He asks her, jerking his chin towards the kitchen. “Yeah. She’s been great. She cleaned this place up. Made sure I ate and showered and slept while worrying like fuck about you. She’s a good one.” Ellie says and Joel trusts her opinion. You hear what Ellie says from around the corner, some homemade chips in a bowl in your hand and you smile, liking that she trusts you. You carry the bowl in and set it down , “hope these are good. We fried them earlier today.” You say, looking between Ellie and Joel.

Joel’s brow raises and he nods. “Thanks.” It hurts to nod so he just sends you his thanks with his eyes. “For taking care of her and me now, I guess.” He sips the water and grunts when the cool liquid slides down his throat to quench his thirst. “I’m sorry for all the cursing I will be doing.” He warns you, knowing he’s never been a good patient.

You chuckle, “curse away. You’re alive. That���s all that matters.” You promise and make your way back into the kitchen to continue making dinner. It’s going to be a long path of recovery but you’re happy to help Joel get back on his feet. 

****

“Shit.” Joel hisses as you help him into the downstairs bathroom to shower. “Do you, uh, I can help take off your pants.” You offer, cheeks burning as you try and help him shower for the first time since he left the hospital.

Joel isn’t a shy man, never has been, but the idea that you have to help him bathe like he is a helpless baby makes him burn with embarrassment. There’s not a goddamn thing he can do about it though, his body is still healing and he can’t get his head wet because of the stitches and staples. “Fuck.” He grunt, hoping he doesn’t really embarrass himself. The fact that he’s not gotten an erection since he’s woken up makes him wonder if something is wrong with that function. “Fuck, what the hell else am I going to do? Shower with my fuckin’ clothes on?”

You shake your head, “no. I- I have to help. I’m a nurse. I am a professional.” You tell him even though that doesn’t hold much weight in today’s world. “Let me help you.” You reach in to turn on the water to heat it up and you reach for Joel’s shirt. “Keep still.” You murmur, working the buttons open. He probably prefers t-shirts but the button down is required so he doesn’t jostle his head. He is still weak so he lets you push the shirt off of his shoulders. “Pants next.” You declare and hook your fingers in the sweatpants, dragging them down his legs  and he’s naked under them so it's easier for him to use the bathroom. He steps out of them and you try not to appraise his naked form. He’s still healing but he’s gorgeous.

“Sorry.” He huffs, knowing that the last thing you want to do is to help an old man bathe, his still bruised body on display. Luckily, there were still medical supply devices like a chair to sit in the shower to make it easier for him, although he knows you will get wet helping him. His dormant cock twitches slightly and his eyes widen at the sensation.

You focus on looking after him and not on his body, which even though bruised, is still beautiful. You know your clothes will get soaked but that’s okay, you don’t want to strip off and make him uncomfortable so you step into the shower and help him sit down on the chair. “Temperature okay?” You ask and he nods. You grab the soap you made last week and hold it out. “You want to do it or shall I?” You ask, knowing you’ll need to wash his face so he doesn’t get his head wet.

He hates to admit that he’s so damn tired after getting into the shower, he just wants you to do it. Grunting, he shakes his head slightly and winces when he feels a little pain. “Just do it.” He tells you, not wanting this to become some kind of pissing match. “Feel like a damn baby.”

You nod, “I understand but this is the best thing for you, honey. You need to focus on healing. You nearly died so being showered isn’t the worst thing in the world.” You put it in perspective for him. You lather up your hands and work on washing his back. He groans and your stomach twists with forbidden arousal. He’s injured, recovering, you shouldn’t feel attracted to him.

“Does it hurt?” Your soft question is almost arousing, murmuring in his ear but he grunts. “No.” His voice comes out raspy and raw. “Feels good.” He’s still so damn sore and your hands on his skin feels like a massage. “It’s feeling really good.”

You continue working on washing him, mindful of his bruises. “Good.” You murmur, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” You say as you massage the soap into his black and blue back. “Tommy tried to find them but they were gone.” You reveal, “they are gone.”

“It’s my fault.” Joel murmurs quietly, closing his eyes and trying to forget the moment he had killed that doctor, but it plays behind his lids. “How could you deserve something like this?” You snort, but he sighs softly. “I killed her father.” He reveals. “He was a doctor, for the Fireflies. They believed Ellie was the answer to a cure.” He opens his eyes, frowning. “They were going to remove her brain.”

You gasp, your hands freezing on his back. "They - does she know?" You whisper and Joel shakes his head. "She can't." You declare, having gotten to know Ellie enough to know that she would sacrifice herself. He nods, "I can't - I lied to her. I can't lose her." He confesses and you rub his back, "you won't. Secret's safe with me." You promise, "you didn't deserve this, Joel. No one does. This world...it's cruel but we have our little piece of paradise here. We just gotta protect it."

Even though he knows it would never absolve him of his sins, your words are a balm to his spirit. Soothing him and making him relax even more. “It’s nice here.” He murmurs softly. “Sarah would love it here.”

Ellie had briefly discussed the daughter that Joel lost on Outbreak Day and you rub his shoulders, “we are lucky. Not QZ, not the Wild West. We are safe and our commune is thriving.” You hum, “Ellie is lucky to have you.” You murmur and he hisses when you press a little too hard, “I’m sorry.” You grab the rag and lather it up, “you, uh, want to wash your -” Your cheeks heat up at the thought and he takes the rag without a word.

Joel washes his groin quickly, gritting his teeth when his long neglected cock starts to stir from the simple touch and the smell of your soap. He has noticed it every time he gets your help to use the bathroom and he is now covered in it. “Help me.” He grunts, trying to push to his feet so he can wash his ass.

You wrap your arms under his armpits, helping him stand and he grunts as he washes his ass. When he’s done, you rinse him off and shut off the water, grabbing the towel around his waist. “You good?” You ask and he nods, “yeah. Just feel like a fucking baby.” You chuckle, “at least you don’t need breastfeeding.”

“Fuck.” He huffs and blurts out, “that would be more fun,” before he even realizes how inappropriate it would be. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He grunts, blushing slightly.

You snort and smile, “I think we are beyond apologies now, huh?” You say, knowing you’ve helped him to the bathroom and now helped him shower. “Let’s get you redressed and I’ll heat up the soup I made earlier for you.” You tell him and grab the clean clothes you set aside for him.

His bedroom is what used to be the downstairs office. It’s got some doors for privacy, but more often than not, they are kept open until he needs to change. It makes it easier. “I didn’t ask, how do you like that bed?” His bedroom upstairs had become yours since they had broken down the smaller bed from the third bedroom. Joel wouldn’t let you sleep on the couch, telling you he could piss in a bottle in the middle of the night if he needed to. You deserved to sleep in a real bed for helping him.

“It’s good. Nice and comfy. I have no complaints.” You tell him, knowing your roommate, Sandra, will be enjoying the peace and quiet on her own in your house. “I hope it’s comfortable here.” You help him pull the shirt over his head and you kneel down so he can  step into the sweatpants.

“It’s a bed.” He’s going to be uncomfortable regardless of where he is because of how badly he had been beaten. The only reason he’s alive is because she had started swinging on other parts of his body besides the head. “I think I’ll appreciate it more when I can move without wanting to cry.”

“Not too long now. You’ve overcome the worst. You’ll get there in the end.” You promise him, “you’ll get better. Ellie needs you.” You pull the sweatpants up and stand up, patting his chest. “All clean.” You smile and guide him to sit on the bed. You swing his legs onto the bed and stand up, “I’ll go get your soup, Miller.”

He watches you go, his eyes dropping down to your ass, not for the first time either. This time though, there is a punch of lust that his body responds to. Making him grunt and reach down to adjust himself slightly. You are beautiful and now that he has spent time with you, he can see why Tommy called him a lucky bastard.

****

You spend eight weeks looking after Joel. Helping him bathe until he can manage himself, feeding him, making sure he has water. It’s your priority and you are so happy he’s recovering well. He can walk properly now and the bruises have faded. “You want some cake?” You ask Joel as he walks into the kitchen where Ellie is trying to lick the spoon of the jam you made to go in the sponge cake.

“God, yes.” Joel groans, the irony of cake not being lost on him. You have been positively spoiling him and Ellie and he hates to think about when you will leave. He’s getting better and it’s about time you go back to your own life. “Are we doing a shower tonight?” The stitches are out, but he still has staples and needs help in the shower.

You nod, “yes, sir. Gotta make sure you avoid a nasty infection. We don’t have any oral antibiotics left.” You sigh, knowing that even if someone found some, they’d be expired. You and Ellie put the cake together and you cut out a slice for each of you. Setting the plate down in front of Joel, you love the way he smiles at you. It’s been impossible to keep your affection for him at bay. You’ve fallen for him, knowing that you will have to return home at some point but the grumpy yet funny man has gotten into your heart.

“Thanks.” He sends you a grateful look and sets his elbows on the table as he waits for you to sit down. “It smells incredible. You seem to enjoy cooking, or is it just something you do because you know Ellie can’t?” He teases, making the teenager huff and roll her eyes. “It’s not like I’ve had a chance to learn, man.”

You giggle and nudge Ellie, “you’ve been learning. You’ll get there. No, I, uh, I love cooking. Always have.” You admit, “I missed it a lot when I was on the outside. Cooking rabbit on a fire isn’t quite the same as cooking in a warm kitchen.” You sigh, forking up a bite of the cake.

“Yeah, campfires are temperamental, and cooking on them is even worse.” He snorts. Ellie chuckles. “When you would let us have them.” Joel shrugs slightly. “It’s dangerous out there.” He reminds her. “Hell, it’s dangerous in here too, but it’s better than out there.” He glances towards the entryway where he had collapsed when Abby nearly beat him to death.

You notice his glance and you realize once again how close to death he was. “You’re here now. Hopefully you don’t have to go back out there anytime soon.” You reach out to squeeze Joel’s hand and he smiles at you, his fork in his other hand, “you are safe for now.”

You have been incredible, and it’s almost amazing to see how you have slipped past the shell of his heart, something that only Ellie has managed since Tess. It’s hard to believe Tess has been gone as long as she has, but Joel has been slowly trying to heal emotionally as he heals physically. Thoughts of you have crept into his waking hours, causing some embarrassing moments in the showers when he gets hard, or you wake him up from an erotic dream that features you.

****

“So, the doctor gave you the all clear. Just to be careful and not do too much.” You smile at Joel as you enter the living room after the doctor left. He had done a full assessment of Joel and called his surgery a miracle - the fact that he survived is a gift from God. Ellie is out visiting Dina and you sit down next to Joel on the sofa, “I guess I can get out of your hair now. You can have your bed back and I’ll go back to my place.” You finish softly, sad to be leaving him.

Joel wipes his hands on his sweatpants, still wearing them out of habit over the past few months. “You’re probably happy as hell to be getting away.” He snorts as he looks over at you and wonders how you have become even prettier than before. He’s crazy about you, how kind you are, how you have taken Ellie under your wing and how you never rebuke him for when he gets sad and introspective. You have helped so much and he hates that you are leaving. “Maybe I need to get the shit beat out of me again, make you stick around.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. "No need to do that. All you have to do is ask me to stay and I would." You confess and your eyes widen at the way you blurted that out. You close your mouth, turning your head to stare across the room, avoiding those dark brown eyes. "I'm sorry. I-" You begin but he interrupts you. "Stay." You turn your head to look at him again, "what? You - you want me to stay?" You ask, feeling breathless.

He rolls his eyes at your question and huffs. “Do you think that I’m getting hard every time you help me shower because getting clean turns me on?” He asks bluntly. “I’ve been trying to think about anything else but you, but nothing works.”

You stare at him in shock, “I- I can’t believe - I just thought you were horny because you couldn’t jerk off.” You snort and close your eyes for a second. “I think about you. All the time.” You admit, reaching for his hand, “I had a crush on you before I came to help.” You tell him honestly, “always thought you were handsome, but now that I know you? You’re - fuck, I love you.” You confess just as breathless as your prior revelation.

His own breath stops, caught in his chest as you confess your feelings. A year ago, hell - a few months ago, he would have been denying that you felt that way. Ignoring it or being unable to respond in kind because his world was still ground to a halt, but that had changed. You and Ellie, that attack, it had changed things and made him realize that even though he had lost so many, he still had those to live for. He lunges forward and presses his lips to yours. “Love you too.” He murmurs as you gasp.

You can’t believe he’s kissing you but you reach up to cup his cheek, pressing your lips back to his, and your heart is pounding in your chest. You shift closer, cupping his other cheek and you rest your forehead against his when you pull back, caressing his stubbled cheeks. “I love you, Miller.” You smile, unable to fathom that the man you’ve fallen for loves you too.

He's panting and his heart is beating wildly in his chest. Already turned on again and starting to tent his sweats and all you've done is shared one kiss. Reaching up, he caresses your neck and shoulder. "Are you sure? I'm fuckin' old, baby." He jokes. "And a little decrepit."

You shake your head, "you're not decrepit. Or too old. I love you, Joel. No matter what. Hell, if I can look after you like I have and still think you are sexy, you're good to go." You promise with a giggle, sliding your hands down to his chest. "And I haven't stopped thinking about you between my thighs. Inside of me." You confess in a hushed tone.

The kid is off with her friend and Joel groans quietly, having thought of nothing else for the past few days. "I don't know if I can perform worth a shit." He admits with a shake of his head. "Haven't cum since I woke up."

"I don't care. Just want to be close to you." You murmur, "don't care if you cum right away. I can ride you." You want to be close to him, to feel all of him. "I keep thinking about how you'd feel inside of me."

He's still in his downstairs bedroom and he nudges his nose against yours. "Close the doors." He rasps out, nodding towards the French doors that close off his makeshift space. "I don't want to tire myself out trying to get upstairs."

You stand up, hands shaky as you shut the doors and turn to face him. You take in the details of his face, his head shaved from his surgery so his hair is growing back patchy but he’s still so attractive. You reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and you swiftly remove your bra. Hooking your fingers in your leggings, you push them down along with your panties to stand naked in front of him. “I’ve seen yours, figured it’s only fair if you see mine.”

"It gets bigger." He jokes, aware that you have seen and politely ignored the times he's gotten hard from you helping him in the shower. "Fuck, you are beautiful." He praises breathlessly, eyes drinking in your body as he licks his lips. It's been a long goddamn time since he's been with someone, the last person was Tess, but he feels like he's about to bust if he doesn't touch you.

“So are you.” You respond as you walk towards him. “So brave. A fucking fighter.” You murmur, shifting to straddle him as he sits back on the bed. His hands immediately find your ass and you chuckle, knowing he’s watched it enough times. You cup his cheeks and lean in to kiss him, “wanna see if it gets bigger.” You joke, grinding down onto the tent in his sweats.

Joel groans, twitching underneath you and he knows he won’t have any problem performing. The problem might be that he doesn’t please you before he cums. His hand slides around your waist to dip between your thighs. Hissing when he finds you starting to get slick as he starts to slowly rub your clit.

“Oh God.” You pant, rocking down onto his hand. It’s been far too long since anyone touched you and you are whimpering at the way his thick fingers rub your bundle of nerves. You tilt your head back and he leans in to kiss along your neck, your fingers digging into his shoulder as you absorb every touch.

He groans as he learns your body. He and Tess had been comfortable, completely familiar with each other and what the other liked. The whimpers and groans rockets his arousal higher as you grind down against his fingers and he feels like he’s going to bust in his sweats. Turning his wrist, he presses his thumb against your clit and slides his fingers through your slick folds so he can press them inside you.

“I want to touch you.” You whimper and he shakes his head, “not yet. Otherwise this will be over sooner than you thought.” He grunts and you rock onto his thick fingers, stretching you out in the most delicious way. “Fuckkkk.” You exhale as he presses his finger against that spongy spot inside of you. He’s good. He knows what he’s doing.

He loves the way you respond to him, how wet you get. Sliding his hand up and down your back as he kisses along your shoulder and down to your tit. Wrapping his lips around a stiff nipple as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of your wet heat.

“Shit.” You hiss, caressing his head as he suckles on your nipple like he’s trying to root. It has you quivering and you’re so close. So many nights of imagining how he’d touch you has led to you getting worked up faster than you have ever known. “Joel. Oh God, Joel. You’re gonna make me - I’m gonna-” You don’t finish your cry as you cut yourself off with a strangler choke and clamp down on his digits, soaking them with your cum.

“That’s it, fuck, good girl.” Joel pants against your breast as he pumps his fingers to help you ride out your orgasm. “You’re so goddamn good to me, ain’t ya? You creamin’ all over my fingers, making me harder than a fucking rock.” He coos praises into your skin, enjoying the way your nails bite into his shoulder through the shirt. Your pretty cunt soaked his fingers and he can only imagine how good you will feel around his cock.

His words make you choke on your breath as he works you through your orgasm. You never imagined he’d be so dirty but you love it. “Fuck, baby. Yes. I need - I need you inside of me but I want to suck your cock.” You whine, reaching down to tug on the hem of his shirt, wanting him naked beneath you.

“You can’t.” Joel moans, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t last a minute. And I want to feel you, fuck, imagined it so many times.” He pants, pulling away from the back of the bed so you can pull his shirt off. “Maybe- later, if I can get it up again.” He chuckles.

You pull his shirt over his head, still mindful of his injuries, and you slide your hands down his chest, admiring his broadness. “You’re so sexy.” You murmur, reaching down to pull his cock out of his sweatpants, wanting to see him in this light. You’ve seen his cock plenty of times but now you know he’s hard for you and it’s intoxicating. You pump him and he groans out a warning so you shift to lift your hips, positioning him at your entrance and you slowly sink down onto him.

“Fuuuuuuuuck.” His hands grip your hips harshly and he clenches his jaw as you take him. You are hot and tight like a glove around his cock, clenching around him as your walls flutter. Your ass presses against his thighs and he rocks his hips up. “Fuck, that’s - fuck, gimme a minute.” He begs, feeling like he’s about to cum. “Let me- calm down.”

You nod, stilling on top of him, and you caress his chest. He exhales shakily and you lean in to kiss him, “take your time, baby. I’m in no rush.” You promise and kiss along his jaw, loving how he stretches you out.

It’s been so long since he’s felt this close to anyone, your breath blows against his skin and he shivers. Closing his eyes as he holds you still. “Fuck, I love you.” He murmurs quietly, aware that this is something that he shouldn’t even have, he should have died. But he’s here and he’s going to live for the moment and bask in the forgiveness of your touch.

You close your eyes at his words, loving how he caresses you, and you tilt your head to look at him. “I love you too. You’re so much more than you think you are.” You murmur, caressing his cheek, and you experimentally rock your hips. His groan makes your stomach clench and you rock again, starting slow as he moves inside of you.

“Shit.” He hisses quietly, opening his eyes to watch as you start to move. “You’re so pretty, so fuckin’ pretty.” He promises as he starts to slide his hands up and down your back. “You feel so good, does it feel good for you?”

His words make your heart pound in your chest and you nod, “feels so good. You feel so damn big inside of me.” You confess breathlessly, “stretching me out. It’s been so long since I had sex. You need to- to pull out so tell me if you’re close.” You remind him, not wanting an accidental pregnancy right now.

Joel grunts, looking into your eyes as he nods. “I will.” He promises. Safe sex isn’t really a thing to be had but hopefully there’s not something to come of this. You are right to remind him. “I’m good baby, ride me.”

You take his word and start to move faster. Your hands gripping his shoulders as you start to move on top of him, moaning at the way he twitches inside of you. "Fuck, you feel so good." You pant, chest heaving as his cock curves just right inside of you.

Joel grunts and leans forward to press his lips to yours, biting your bottom lip after he kisses you. Your breasts brush against his chest and he pulls you closer, craving the feel of your skin against his.

You moan into his mouth, loving how strong her feels, how he’s recovered and he’s stronger for it mentally. You rock down onto his cock, loving the way he twitches inside of you, and you are getting close. Just the feel of having the man you love inside of you is pushing you higher. “Oh shit.” You whimper when you find the right spot and you reach down to rub your clit, pushing yourself closer to the edge.

“That’s it pretty girl, making yourself cum.” Joel groans, watching you touch yourself with dark eyes. It’s so sexy and he can’t get enough of it. “Make yourself cum on my cock. I want to feel it, see it. Show me what you look like.”

You nod, mouth open as you work yourself higher until you finally fall over the edge. A cry escapes your lips as you cum, moaning his name and you clamp down on his cock, soaking him while your orgasm rocks through you.

His eyes roll back in pleasure as he feels you squeezing him and he knows he will be cumming any second. “Sweethea-rt, you gotta-“ he grits his teeth as he jerks your body up off his cock so he can keep his promise to you, panting as he spurts all over his stomach and chest.

You watch him as he cums and you love it. The way he looks is intoxicating and you lean in to kiss him. “Fuck, I love you.” You murmur, leaning in to kiss him as he pants your name.

He kisses you back eagerly, reaching for his shirt to wipe away the mess so you can lean against him. “Fuck, that was- I can’t even-“ he chuckles quietly and kisses you again. “What do you think about moving in permanently?”

You smile as he looks at you, his dark eyes soft, and you cup his cheeks. “Yes. Absolutely.” Your smile turns into a grin, excited to explore this next step with Joel. “I was dreading going home and I would miss you and Ellie like crazy.” You confess, “I want to stay.”

“Good.” He pauses for a moment and then he admits, “it’s felt like a proper home with you here. Ellie, she loves you too.” He tells you softly. “I think she imagines we are a family.”

“I imagine that too. She’s like a daughter to me.” You confess, “I want to make this a home and I want to be yours. Be in your bed every night. Be by your side no matter what.” You promise and Joel smiles, cupping your cheek, “sounds amazing, baby.”

****

“Joel.” You say his name as he takes a sip of whiskey. Ellie is watching a movie with the other kids in the barn and you decided to cook a romantic dinner for Joel, wanting to ask him something. He looks at you and you tilt your head, appraising him. You pick up your glass and take a sip, your throat suddenly dry. “Everything okay, baby?” He asks and you nod, squaring your shoulders. “I want a baby.” You announce, bracing yourself for him to say no.

Joel freezes, waiting for the familiar ache to take over his chest. For this vision to blur and his breathing to turn into short bursts as thoughts of Sarah take over. As the sounds of her rapid, panicked last breaths fill his ears. It never comes. 

He doesn’t panic at the thought of having a child that could remind him of Sarah. Ellie does in some ways, but she’s a completely different type of girl. One raised in the world outside the safety of the walls of Jackson. If you had a child here, they would be innocent in some ways Ellie was not, more like Sarah. “A baby, huh?” He murmurs after a moment. “With me?” He asks. “I’m nearly sixty, baby. You want that?”

You sense his hesitation and you feel like backtracking but you think about the nights you’ve spent awake pondering this, weighing the pros and cons of having his baby in this world. You reach for his hand, “I know and I still want it. Spending time with Ellie, helping with your nephew, it’s made me realize that I can do it. It’s hard, always hard being a mother, but I’m ready and I want a baby. I want a baby that will carry our legacy, a baby that will grow up safe and capable. We will make sure of it. Unless you don’t want that, which is - it’s fine. I’ll handle your decision. We both have to want this, Joel. Not just me. Don’t do it for me. I want you to want this too and if you don’t, then that’s case closed.” You promise, not wanting to pressure him.

Joel squeezes your hand gently, reminded of the nights he had woken in a cold sweat, sometimes from the broken memories of him being attacked or the memory of losing Sarah. You have been right beside him, offering him comfort and solace. He’s told you about that night, sharing with you memories that he has kept bottled for over twenty years. You had cried in his arms like you had been Sarah’s mother, assuring him that he had done everything right to try to protect his baby girl. The fact that he’s not immediately said no is very insightful and he bites his lip and watches you with a softness that even a year ago, he was unsure he was capable of. “It’s been a looooong time since 2 AM feedings and my hearing is shot.” He snorts, smiling slightly. “You’ll have to poke me to wake me up if you want me to get up with a baby.”

You smile, loving the way he has agreed to having a baby with you. “You’re forgetting the best part about deciding to have a baby….” You trail off and smirk, “the trying.” He returns your smirk and you giggle, standing up from your seat and you round the table to sit in his lap. “I love you.” You murmur when you’re settled in his lap, reaching up to caress his cheek. “I want you to fuck a baby into me, Joel.”

“Fuck, that’s hotter than I ever imagined.” Joel grunts, twitching underneath you. His sex drive isn’t completely on par with yours, but he keeps up and keeps you satisfied in other ways. You’ve told him you don’t regret being with him at all. Which is another balm on his battered soul. “You want me to cum in that pretty pussy?” He asks, squeezing your ass. “Imagined how you would look dripping me a few times.”

You moan, kissing along his jaw as his words wash over you. “I want you to cum inside of me. Put a baby in me.” You plead, wiggling on his lap. His hair has grown back now, more gray in it, but you love it, and you reach up to run your fingers through his hair.

He groans and captures your lips with his, licking into your mouth immediately as the easy passion blooms between you. His hands move to start stripping you down.

It doesn’t take long for you and Joel to be naked. You stumbled up the stairs to your bedroom, clothes scattered on the trail upstairs and when you lay down on the bed, Joel is immediately hovering over you. Your heart is pounding in your chest and his hand slides along your thigh, cupping your pussy. “I don’t want foreplay. I just want you. Want to feel all of you.” You murmur, caressing his shoulders.

There are times when you want the burn of his cock stretching you out and tonight is one of those nights it seems. That’s good because Joel is impatient to get inside you. He takes his cock in hand and pumps it a few times as he shuffles forward to press against your entrance. “I love you.” He murmurs.

He pushes inside of you, stretching you out, and you gasp out “love you too.” He pushes inside of you until he’s fully seated and you take a deep breath, enjoying the weight of his body on top of yours and the weight of the moment. Deciding to take this step together has your body primed and ready for him. He starts to move inside of you and you wrap your legs around his waist, moaning at the way he rocks into you.

Nearly dying hadn’t had the lasting effects that the doctors had feared when Joel had been brought in. His thrusts are steady, if not a little harder than normal, although he keeps the pace sedate. Not rushing, but he enjoys burying himself as deep as he can go and watching your eyes roll back in pleasure. “Gonna knock you up.” He grunts out.

His words make you clench around him, your hands sliding down his back to squeeze his ass. His recovery has been a miracle from the man who was on death's door to the man currently making love to you trying to get you pregnant. You whimper when his lips find your neck and you rock your hips up to try and meet his.

Every time the two of you come together, Joel remembers how lucky he is. His kisses trail along your throat as he groans into your skin. Both of you give and take from each other. “Fuck, baby.” Joel moans, his body tensing when you clench down around him again. “You gonna cum before I fill you up? Love it when you soak my cock.”

You nod, "yes baby. I - shit - you always feel so good." You slide one hand down between you so you can rub your clit. He immediately bats your hand away after shifting his weight onto one elbow. You moan when he rubs your clit just right, his hips pushing into your ass as you take him deep inside of you. "Shit. Joel. You - I'm - God." You cry out as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him.

“That’s it, good girl, goooooood girl.” Joel moans, clenching his teeth as you come apart around him. He feels his own body is ready to cum, excited by the situation and it only takes a few more thrusts. Instead of pulling his hips back, he plunges them forward, embedding himself deep as he paints your womb with his seed. “Fuck, fuck.” He pants, closing his eyes as he rides out his orgasm, amazed at how good it feels. “You’ll be pregnant in no time.”

You smile against his lips when he leans in to kiss you and you’re so hopeful for the future with Joel. A baby that looks like the two of you combined. You are excited and when he pulls out, you keep his cum inside of you, trying to make sure that it takes. You’ll be pregnant in no time.

****

“Sweetheart….I’m supposed to go ride the southern border and check the area.” You’ve quieted down over the past few hours, but he can still see the sadness lurking in your eyes. You’ve stopped blaming yourself but he knows those thoughts are bouncing around and he’s reluctant to leave you. “Do you want me to have Tommy go? Stay here with you?”

You shake your head, eyes sore from crying, “no baby. Just go. I’ll be fine. Ellie will be back soon.” You murmur, keeping your back turned towards him. You feel useless, you feel broken, and you feel exhausted. You’ve tried so hard to get pregnant. You even researched old wives tales about how to get pregnant. You’ve taken herbs, teas, anything you can to get pregnant and after trying for so long, you’re exhausted.

He worries about you, leaning over and pressing his lips to your forehead. “I’ll be back as quickly as possible and I’ll make dinner tonight.” He offers. It’s the historical Mother’s Day today, and he knows you will be extra glum since you are once again not pregnant. Sometimes he wonders if he should just tell you that he’s changed his mind, taking the guilt and worry about it off your shoulders. You can blame him for not having a child. “Okay?”

“Sure.” You murmur, closing your eyes as a cramp contracts in your stomach, making you curl into a ball. You really thought this was it. Your period was two weeks late and you didn’t tell Joel because you wanted to surprise him and then you got your period. You sniff and Joel sighs, shuffling out of the bed to get ready for his shift. You can’t blame him. He’s had a kid. It’s got to be you that’s the issue.

He’ll look for some wildflowers for you while he’s out. They always make you smile and tonight, he will do his best to make sure that you know that no matter what, he loves you. He thinks about all this while he puts his clothes on and brushes his teeth, coming out of the bathroom to find you still curled up. “Go soak in a hot bath, baby.” He suggests, walking over to the bed and kissing your cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”

You listen to him go and you know it's technically Mother's Day today. Salt in the wound. You swallow harshly and wait until the front door closes before you allow yourself to sob again. You can't believe you aren't pregnant. You've tried so hard. Maybe you aren't meant to be a mother.

Saddling the horse and getting let out of the gates of Jackson has Joel on autopilot. Most often the scouting parties are in groups, but today had been just singles, most men in the community wanting to spend time with their wives and celebrate them. The grass is green and lush; there's a certain beauty to the mild spring transitioning into warmer weather. Urging the horse forward, he is eager to finish the patrol so he can get back to you.

You have your bath, eyes sore from sobbing, and you try to come to terms that you’re never going to be a mother. It’s just not in the cards. You love Ellie and you think of her as your daughter but you wanted a baby, a combination of you and Joel to love and care for in this new world. That isn’t going to happen and you curl around yourself in bed after you’re dry, trying to cope with that fact.

Pulling the reins, Joel listens carefully, certain that he has just heard a cry. His hand goes to his rifle to pull it off his shoulder. Wary of traps or ruses to draw unsuspecting people in, he scans the area. Silence lingers long enough until he’s almost convinced he was hearing things when there’s another, louder cry. A baby. His eyes widen and he nudges the horse forward again. “Hello?” He cups his hand and calls out, wondering if there is a group traveling nearby. There must be, if there is a baby. Mountain lions and things that can sound like a baby crying are farther up in the mountains. Instead of the sound quieting, the crying turns into screaming, giving him a direction to head towards. Joel keeps his rifle up and guides the horse with his knees when he almost stumbles upon the scene. 

“Shit!” There’s a woman lying on the ground, face down with a carrier on her back, a small baby - no more than three or four months old - screaming from the restraints. He scans the areas again, looking for a trap, but there’s nothing moving. The baby's howls prompts him to dismount and move towards the woman, his rifle pointed at her until he reaches them and nudges her with his boot. Wondering if she’s been changed and cannot get to the baby, although he’s never seen one go dormant with a human around and making noise. “Hey…” prodding her doesn’t make her move and Joel scans the area again, the open range not a good spot to plan an ambush, but someone could be hiding in the tall grass. Carefully kneeling down, he grabs a bony thin shoulder and turns the woman enough to see that her gaunt face and shrunken eyes are lifeless. “Shit.” He hisses, looking back at the baby who is almost as bad as the mother. From what it looks like, this poor woman had been traveling to find shelter, food, anything for her and her baby and she collapsed less than two miles from salvation. 

Joel sighs as he sets the rifle down and rolls the body on its side. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs quietly, his heart clenching at the reality of the situation, reaching out to close the woman’s eyes before unbuckling the strap for the carrier that is across her chest.

Ellie returns before Joel does and you offer her a smile as she says hello. “I, uh, I made you something.” She says, handing you a piece of paper. It’s a card. “Happy Mother’s Day” it says and your heart clenches. A genuine smile on your face as you realize she made this for you. You open it and tears sting in your eyes as you read her scrawled handwriting. “Thank you for being the mom I never had.” She wrote and you choke, reaching for her. “I love you so much sweetheart.” You pull her close, reminded that you have a beautiful daughter who loves you. “I love you too.” She murmurs, holding you just as tight. The front door opens and you pull back as you hear a baby crying. “Joel?” You gasp when your partner walks into the kitchen.

“Ellie….go to Tommy’s and get a bottle.” He orders the teenager as he starts to pull the baby carrier off his own chest to take the baby out. He had brought the body back, but this baby needed milk as soon as he could get it for her. “I found her,” he explains. “A woman collapsed two miles away from Jackson, she starved to death.” He motions you over. “At least, I think it’s a girl.”

Your eyes widen as he cradles the baby and you reach out to take them into your arms. The baby’s diaper is dirty and you shush them as you walk over to grab an old dish towel from the drawer as a makeshift diaper. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” You coo, unwrapping the baby on the kitchen table and you tell Joel to get a wet cloth. You work on cleaning up the baby, “it’s a girl.” You announce and wrap her in the dishtowel, using the pin from her old diaper. “It’s okay sweetheart. You’re okay, sweet girl. You’re safe and we are going to get you milk.” You promise, cradling her as you turn back towards Joel. “Her poor mother. So close to salvation.” You sigh, shaking your head at the tragedy.

“I brought her back.” Joel tells you quietly, watching as you bounce the baby girl in your arms and coo at her to calm her down. “Hoping something in her bag would tell us where she’s from, what the baby’s name is.” He sighs softly. “I couldn’t leave her out there.”

“Her mother deserves a service, a burial. We must give this little one a place to visit her mother.” You murmur, stroking her cheek. She’s gorgeous, her eyes watching you, and you try to not get too attached to her, knowing that Maria and Tommy will be handling the situation.

Ellie comes bursting into the house. “Got a bottle!” She yells, thundering down the hall to rush into the kitchen. “Tommy and Maria are coming too.” She pants, quickly handing the full bottle of milk to you. The baby is obviously hungry because the second that you brush the nipple against her mouth, she shakes her little head furiously as she tries to get it in her mouth, crying out before the nipple is in and immediately starting to suckle hungrily with great, greedy gulps.

“We will need more. Tommy and Maria have everything for a baby. We - they should take her.” You murmur, knowing it will be hard to hand the baby over but she isn’t yours and the leader needs to make a decision on her placement.

Joel takes one look at the way you hold this baby while she’s eating and knows that’s not what needs to happen. This baby is your chance to be a mother, to feel like a mother. It’s like it was fate for him to be out there and find her today, to bring her to you. “I think we should keep her.” Joel tells you, coming up and laying his hand on your shoulder. “Tommy and Maria have a lot on their plate with one baby already.”

Your eyes widen as you look at him then back at the baby. “We - us - are you - Joel.” You whisper, a soft smile on your face as you dare to hope that you can keep the little girl. It feels wrong. Her mother just died, but she can’t be left alone. She needs someone to look after her.

The front door opens. “Joel?” Tommy’s voice floats through the house and Joel keeps looking at you with the baby. “In the kitchen.” He calls out. The guards at the gates had kept his horse with the poor woman’s body and he had known Tommy and Maria would come to find out what the hell happened, but he wanted to get the baby here first. Footsteps quickly sound out, two sets of them like he expected and the baby is still greedily sucking away at the milk when his brother and sister in law come into the kitchen.

You look up as Maria walks in, her baby strapped to her chest, and she immediately comes over to see the baby in your arms. “Oh, she’s a sweet little thing. She needs fattening up. Poor girl, her mom was so close to our gates. She needs a mother. You should be her mother.” She says and you stare at her, “are you sure?” Maria smiles, stroking the head of her son. “She needs a mother and you are a more than capable applicant.” She gestures to the way you’re holding the baby. “I- I know this sounds insane but I feel like this is my purpose.” You murmur, looking down at her as she suckles.

Tommy smirks at Joel, who is obviously relieved by the decision. He’s talked to Tommy about the issues you’ve had trying to conceive and wished that there was some way for you to figure out what was wrong, but there just aren’t the medical resources here in Jackson. Joel had even been thinking about trying one of the universities, but couldn’t risk it again. “We both feel that way.”

You smile, cooing at the baby. “Did we find out what her name is?” You ask and Tommy nods, holding up a note that was in the mother’s satchel. “Her name is Hope.” Tommy reveals and you smile, “Hope.” You murmur, pulling the bottle away when she’s done. You shift her to your shoulder to burp her and you cradle her once she’s burped. “She’s our hope.” You declare as you look at Joel and he comes over to wrap his arm around you, looking down at the baby. “Our new daughter.” Joel murmurs, kissing your hair and he beckons Ellie over. “She’s kinda cute.” Ellie says and leans in to stare at the baby. “Hi Hope. I’m Ellie. Your big sister. I’ll teach you everything you need to know. Especially about our grumpy dad.” She jokes and Joel chuckles and rolls his eyes. “We will gather everything you’ll need and we will make sure her mother has a proper burial. For now, you guys settle in as a family.” Maria says, stepping back towards Tommy. “Oh and Happy Mother’s Day.” Maria says to you and you smile, “you too.” You may not be able to have a biological baby but you have Ellie and you have Hope. The two girls who have made you a mother.

[wandascrush]

Welcome to the world

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Pain, birth, crying, water breaking

Cold sweat lined your forehead when you opened your eyes, adjusting to the darkness in the room. You flung your sheets off the bed and sat up, immediately holding your tender belly. You felt nauseous, cramped up, and sweaty- the worst combo. Immediately, you waddled over to the restroom, splashing cold water on your face and taking shallow breaths in and out. Phew- you were calming down, everything was okay. Just the normal symptoms when your 38 weeks, nothing new.

You hoped the warm light pouring into the bedroom wouldn’t wake up your exhausted wife that only got four hours of sleep the night before, tending to your early morning sickness. You felt bad but hey, you were equal, it’s not like you got any sleep either with this little one growing inside you. You finished drying your face off with a towel and drinking some water through the sink when you decide to head back to bed and try to get more rest, it was probably just some Braxton hicks pains. That is until you felt a gush of water down your legs, your water broke

“Nat-,” she didn’t even stir. You gripped the side of the door frame, hands turning red as you groaned out in pain, “Natty!”

Two hours later you were in a delivery room, damp with sweat and a worried, but excited, wife holding your hand. The hospital lights flooded your vision as nurses and doctors came in and out, checking your dilation. 

Tender lips brushed the top of your head, “Shhhh detka, this is the moment we’ve been waiting for, just a little earlier than planned. Breathe, that’s it, in and out, just like that sweetheart,” and when you looked into her eyes you’d never seen so much love from another human. Your stomach immediately cramped again, pain washing over you as you closed your eyes and took shaky breaths out loud.

Clint was on his way with Laura, the future uncle and aunt of your child, speeding down the highway. Steve, your baby's future Godfather, was two hours away picking up flowers for you, a teddy bear for your little one, and candy for Natty and himself. The rest of the group was getting back from a mission overseas, no doubt they would miss the birth, but you knew they’d be there ASAP.

The warm glow of the bright lights kept you up, even as you tried to shut out all other senses. Closing your tired eyes and imagining what the cries of your baby would be like was the only thing that brought you comfort. Once the pain subsided and nurses stopped poking and prodding you, images of your new family of three eased your mind.

Natasha was right by your side, rubbing your back through the pain and nausea, dabbing your forehead with a cold compress for the hot flashes and feeding you ice chips. In this moment she swore to herself you’d never looked so beautiful. You were her dream come true. All three of you. An hour later your redhead had to step out to update Maria and Fury on what was going on.

At first, sure Fury was disappointed to lose one of his best agents for a couple months for maternity leave- but he couldn’t hide his excitement either.

Laura’s sweet gaze was above you in the meantime, gently lifting your head up to press cold compresses on your neck and chest.

“Hey momma, how’re we holding up?” She grabbed some water for you and adjusted your pillow. 

“Well, for starters I feel like a tiny human is kickboxing with my insides…so right on point I’d say.” You tried to sit up on your elbows, wriggling your way through the copious amounts of hospital sheets.

It felt like hours before the nurses gave you the go-ahead to start pushing. You had never been so glad for any decision like the decision to get an epidural during delivery. Was it still painful? Hell yes. But did it hurt a lot less? Also, hell yes. Natasha felt useless watching you, not being able to help. It was like being stabbed in the chest every time she heard you scream or start to cry. The best she could do was not keel in pain when you practically broke her hand from squeezing it so hard. And then- in a magical instant- she was here. 

Mae Lena Romanoff. 

This beautiful, new child you just delivered was crying and being wrapped in a blanket.

You and your wife’s biggest dream had arrived and she was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. Her nose was the same as her momma’s, with your e/c eyes. She had a full head of brownish-reddish hair like Natasha’s, damp on her small head. You couldn’t help yourself from crying, sobbing really, as you looked at this little doll in your arms. And as you looked up at Natasha, she was crying too.

The nurses started cleaning you up and doing all the usual routines after giving birth, making sure not only your baby was healthy but yourself as well. Natasha took the baby in her arms and sat by you, marveling at this little joy she created with her wife. Her gentle arms cradled the baby close to her ear as she whispered to her, “Welcome to the world, little one. As long as I’m here, no one will hurt you. Not ever.”

An hour later the room was filled with Clint, Laura, their kids, and Steve. All of them gently stroked the baby’s head, cooing and “awww”ing. You held her close and pointed to everyone in the room, “That’s your Uncle Clint, he’s going to teach you how to shoot a bow and arrow. And that’s your Auntie Laura, one of the best people you’ll ever meet. Those are your cousins that are going to play with you until you’re all grown up. And that right there, is Steve. The best Godfather anyone could ask for. Later on you’ll meet Tony and Pepper, they’ll get you into so many adventures. We’re all going to love you so much, sweet baby. ” If you could freeze this perfect moment in time, you absolutely would. You knew that as long as you had Natasha, your daughter, and this village to help raise her- your family would always be okay.

[wildwestdean]

repose

based on a request made by @chevroletdean! 🤍

a/n: this is a repost, because i tried to edit the main post when half asleep but my dumb ass deleted it instead 😭

summary: you catch a cold while out on a hunt with dean. you refuse to take it easy once back at the bunker, so he takes matters into his own hands to try and help you recover - even if it means bribing you into finally getting some rest

pairing: dean winchester x female reader

word count: 2.6k+

warnings: some mentions of violence/mutilation in the beginning, established relationship, stubborn reader, reader puts her own health on the back burner, reader doesn't like to feel useless, reader won't take her meds, fluff, a touch of angst, minor swearing, protective dean, worried dean, dean goes full caretaker mode, dean just really loves reader, briefest mention of clothes being taken off, reader gets carried around, more fluff

Dean knew it was a bad idea. 

He knew he should’ve tried harder to stop you, but really, what was he supposed to do? The suspect was about to get away, and you were too stubborn in your ways once you set your mind to something. All he could do was watch as you ran out the door, quickly disappearing within the sheets of freezing rain that were falling while he cursed to himself. 

His first thought wasn’t a declaration of fear that the suspect might get a drop on you. No, despite your appearance, your skills were rivalled only by those of Sam and Dean themselves; they taught you everything you knew, after all. Instead, shockingly, the first thought to cross his mind was: she’s going to catch a cold. 

Hurrying after you, you two easily managed to apprehend the suspect to haul him back to the warehouse for questions, all while Dean grumbled about how you should’ve stayed put and let him deal with it; a rant that only earned him a roll of your eyes in return. You didn’t venture out very far, and while it did feel like you were soaked straight through to the bone, the warehouse was growing closer and would soon offer respite from the downpour - his worrying, like usual, would end up being over nothing. 

Yet the chill you were met with once back in the warehouse almost had you regretting your choice, and had it not been for the sickening grin you were given by the douchebag that Dean was currently tying to a rickety chair, you probably would have. You were convinced it was even colder in here than outside; but you refused to let Dean in on that fact.

He didn’t pick up on it right away, focusing solely on extracting the answers that were buried behind the soulless eyes he glared into. He always enjoyed taking his time when it came to things like this, letting the fear and dread settle in their hearts as he threatened to carve into skin or chop off extremities. It was fun, really, and he was enjoying it right up until you decided to pitch in, voicing your own threat of cutting off a very precious body part piece by little piece.

As soon as the words left your mouth, Dean took on a new sense of urgency to get the information you two needed. You could see it in every choice he made: how his pacing quickened, how his voice got darker and tighter while his patience drained away, how he stopped giving warning before his knife dove into flesh. 

You knew he was suddenly in a hurry to wrap this all up, but what you didn’t know was why. You didn’t know that when you spoke, Dean heard the waver in your voice, the quiet chatter of your teeth as you shivered from the cold. You didn’t think it was noticeable, but when it came to you, there was nothing Dean wouldn’t notice. 

With the increase of effort and decrease of delicacy, it wasn’t much longer until Dean finally got what he needed, and he plunged his knife through skin and muscle one final time before eagerly leading you from the warehouse.

“Wait here,” he requested, gently tugging you back just before you could step outside. 

“What, why?” you asked, silently amazed at how warm his palm felt on your arm despite being just as drenched as you were. “We need to finish up.”

“Just wait here,” he repeated, running out into the darkness before you could even reply. 

Left confused in his wake, all you could do was stand there and wait for him to return, trying to ignore the way your whole body wanted to tremble in response to the frigid air. You really, really longed for a hot shower right now, and the fact you knew you needed to dispose of this body somewhere out in this storm made tears threaten to spill over onto your still dampened face. 

The sight of Baby’s headlights cutting through the curtain of rain was like a breath of fresh air to you, and you yearned to just curl up on her front seat while the heat blasted from the dash. 

“One step at a time,” you told yourself. “Take care of the body, then you can warm up on the drive back.” 

Dean made it clear he had other plans in mind when he pulled up as close to the door as possible, leaving the engine running as he ran back over to you. 

“Heat’s on,” he declared, shaking some excess water from his jacket. “Lock yourself inside, I shouldn’t be too long.” 

“Too long doing what?” you asked, totally lost. 

He looked just as confused as you were, not understanding what you didn’t understand. 

“Getting rid of the body,” he declared after a moment, as though it were completely obvious. 

“You’re not doing that alone,” you argued in bewilderment. 

“Yes I am,” he argued back. 

“Dean-” you wanted to argue some more, but he cut you off by taking your face in his palms. 

“Even the screams couldn’t cover up the sound of your knees knockin’ together,” he teased. “Go wait in the car, baby. If you don’t go willingly, I’ll gladly toss you in.” 

You had the urge to say no, wanting to be useful and help him, but you backed down when you saw the look in his eyes.

“Fine,” you agreed, sighing in defeat. “But if you’re not back soon, I will be coming to find you,” you warned. 

Dean grinned in triumph as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “Understood,” he confirmed, guiding you to the car before heading off to carry out his mission. 

It wasn’t until a few days later, when you finally made it back to the bunker, that you realized maybe Dean’s worrying hadn’t been over nothing after all. Despite having the heat cranked all the way up in every motel room, those worn down radiators could really only do so much. The piercing winds would seep through the meekly insulated windows, finding you even under the feigned safety of blankets and tight embrace of Dean; not to mention there being no way to avoid the icy blows whenever you made stops along the road. The sheer lack of sleep you got due to rushing back home seemed to be the final nail in the coffin, and your body was too exhausted to fight off the inevitable. 

It started as a tickle in your throat, which resulted in you continuously chugging back tea and honey; honey that Cas was extremely thrilled to provide you with. Dean was quick to notice you started doing this, and took it upon himself to bring you a mug whenever you were tied up with Sam and looking into some lore, or tirelessly helping Jack understand his latest discovery of the day. 

When the tickle in your throat developed into you having a full blown cough, he bought you your favourite cough drops, keeping an eye on them to make sure you didn’t run out. Though when they seemed to not be enough, he made sure to get you some cough syrup, too. 

He did his best to make sure you didn’t do too much, but asking you to take things easy was like asking a baby not to cry. It just wasn’t going to happen. You had the constant need to be productive, to be helpful. Feeling a little under the weather wasn’t going to change that. Him getting you to see a doctor was nothing short of a miracle, and the fact you were just about as stubborn as him was nearly ironic; he would laugh about it if he wasn’t so worried about you. 

His worry only magnified tenfold when he went to check on you one night, only to find your room empty. He tried convincing you to let him stay with you like usual, but you didn’t want him to get sick, too. He was really regretting not pushing back on that more, now that he found you in the library, lost in a pile of books; he had to take a breath to compose himself before speaking. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, approaching the table. 

“Research,” you croaked, eliciting another coughing fit. 

“Research?” he baulked. “For what? And why now?” 

You coughed once more, chugging down the rest of your tea before replying. “T’help Sammy. Couldn’sleep anyway,” you sniffled, words jumbled together from congestion.  

Dean sighed heavily, taking a seat beside you. “You didn’t even try to sleep, did you?” 

The lack of response from you told him everything he needed to know. 

“Alright, come on,” he announced, reaching for the book you were reading. 

Your reaction time was definitely slower than usual, but you still managed to pull the book out of his reach just in time. “No.” 

Knowing it would be a losing battle, and that it would probably cause more harm than good to just toss you over his shoulder and carry you to your room, he got up with a huff and left. You assumed he was angry, and felt a little guilty for upsetting him when he was just looking out for you, but you knew you were fine enough to carry on with this for a while longer.  

The last thing you currently expected was for him to return with a bowl of your favourite soup, leftover from when he made some for you earlier, and another large mug of tea, placing them on the free space in front of you before sitting back down. 

“If you wanna be helpful, then you’re gonna sit there and eat while I look for whatever the hell it is we’re looking for,” he ordered, easily snatching the book from you. 

“Fine,” you mumbled, picking up the spoon. “Bossy,” you added, hoping he didn’t see the smile playing on your lips as you feigned annoyance. 

He definitely did, but he kept it to himself as you gave him a cliff notes version of what you were looking into between spoonfuls of soup. 

You aren’t sure when it happened, but at some point between finishing the soup and drinking half the tea, you started to drift off; the warmth of his palm on your thigh and comfort of his soft rambling beside you lulling you to sleep. 

This time, Dean knew he would win the battle against you, and he carefully took you in his arms and carried you to bed, staying with you until morning.

Days had continued to go by, and you only seemed to be getting worse. Dean didn’t know what else to do and it was driving him mad - he couldn’t stand to see you like this anymore. 

He refused to take no as an answer now when it came to him doing things for you, and took over every task you tried to start. He followed you around, practically glued to your side, never letting you lift a finger and being a second pair of eyes when you did any research. 

Research that he tried to stop from coming in by threatening to break Sam’s legs if he didn’t quit bothering you for help, only to find out you were doing it of your accord. 

Even Jack had decided to stop coming to you for things until you were better, since he knew you’d never let him heal you.

Yet Dean knew it wasn’t enough. He knew you needed to just fucking lay down and rest. 

Waking up in the middle of the night to find your side of the bed empty once more, Dean stormed off towards the hub of the bunker as he shouted your name - he didn’t care if he woke everyone up at this point. 

He didn’t stop until he found you in the kitchen, frantically cleaning and completely unaware of his presence. 

“Baby?” he asked cautiously, hesitantly approaching you. 

“'m’not going back t’bed,” you told him, not even looking at him.

“Okay,” he said. “Why not?” 

“Too much t’do,” you replied simply, trying to breeze past him. 

“Hey, whoa,” he called, gently taking hold of your shoulders. “Look at me.” 

“I’m fine,” you said automatically, meeting his gaze after he forced your chin up.

He took note of your distant gaze and pale skin, practically burning under his touch. Suddenly, everything seemed to click into place. “You’re really not, sweetheart,” he determined, tucking your hair behind your ears. “You have a fever. Which means you haven’t even been taking your meds, have you?” 

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise at his question, before you averted your gaze in guilt. “No.” 

Dean wanted to be mad at you. Well, truthfully, Dean was mad at you. You’ve been doing seemingly everything you could to prevent yourself from recovering, while Dean was trying as hard as he could to help you. He wanted to yell at you, but more importantly, he just wanted to understand. 

“Why?” he asked gently, softly running his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks. 

“They make me groggy,” you told him.

“You mean they make you sleep,” he corrected, knowing what it was you wouldn’t say. “I don’t understand why you won’t let yourself rest.” 

You shrugged helplessly, feeling smaller than ever under his searching gaze. “I don’ like feelin’ useless.” 

“You’re not useless, baby. You’re sick,” Dean defended. 

“Still,” you said, not having a better argument. “I need t’help.”

“How about we make a deal?” he suggested, fully understanding how it feels to not want to lay around and not help with anything, all while everyone else seemed to scramble around.

“Like?” you wondered, lightly shoving him away so you wouldn’t sneeze on him. 

“Like,” he said, feeling more and more like this was the best idea. “You leave this mess as is, go take your medicine, and lay down with me.” 

“That’s not a deal,” you argued thickly. 

“I didn’t finish!” he said with a laugh. “You do that for me, and that disgustingly cheesy movie you love so much? Not only will I watch it with you from start to finish, but I won’t even make a single joke about it.” 

“But what about-” 

“Sam and I can handle the mess later,” he said with a sigh, already knowing what you would ask. 

“‘kay,” you sniffled. “Then deal.” 

“Good,” he grinned, not giving you a chance to change your mind and scooping you off your feet once more.

He made a stop at the bathroom first, so that he could help you freshen up and do your usual nightly routine. Lord knows he watched you do it enough times to know it step by step, and he was never more grateful for that than right now.

Once that was all taken care of, he took you to your room to get you fully settled for the night. He gently peeled off your lounge clothes to slip one of his clean sweatshirts over your head before tucking you into bed. He grabbed you a glass of water so you could take your medicine. He hunted down extra blankets to keep by the bed in case you got cold. He settled in beside you, setting up the movie as you nestled against his chest. 

It was barely even twenty minutes in by the time you were sleeping soundly in his arms. Dean smiled to himself, carefully landing a kiss on the top of your head as he carried on with the movie. 

He started to doze off about halfway through, and he knew in his heart that if this was the deal he’d have to make every night while you recovered, he’d gladly do so. There was definitely no shortage of these cheesy movies you loved, and there was nothing in the universe that mattered to him more than you and your wellbeing. 

Besides, even though he’d never admit, these romcoms you liked really weren’t half bad. 

taglist: @roseblue373, @redmaro86, @snowayumi, @iluvdeanwinchester, @winharry, @star-yawnznn, @jc-winchester

if you'd like to be added or removed from this list, please let me know!

(sorry for the double tag on this y'all, i'm stupid af lol)

[cyripticchronicler]

Hiii I have a request for Matt Murdock I was thinking him with an reader who’s job has gotten more stressful and it starts to get to them they get dizzy and lightheaded but brush it off until it happens around Matt and he can sense that it happened and he gets all protective and caring

Preferably fem reader but gn is also totally fine so everyone can enjoy it !

If this isn’t your cup of tea I totally get that !

In His Arms

Thank you for requesting, sweetie. I kind of went off track a little and I'm sorry :( (If you want me to rewrite it I happily will!) But either way, I hope you enjoy it!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Overwhelmed by your growing workload and the pressure to prove yourself, you keep your struggles hidden—even from Matt. When the stress leads to a breakdown, he pulls you back, reminding you that love means sharing the load.

TW: Panic attack, mentions of anxiety, pet names (I can't help it), swearing

Masterlist

Stress was a familiar feeling to you. Its sharp claws seemed always to be gripping onto you tightly. You’ve learnt how to manage the lack of air in your lungs and the painful squeezing of your heart whenever you go through a rough patch. 

That’s why the feeling of anxiety creeping up your spine was carelessly ignored. You regret that you shrugged the feeling away, too focused on your work. It’s much easier to calm your bones' nervous trembles before it worsens. 

But now it’s too late. 

You’ve been so distracted by your work. Your colleague had just gone on maternity leave after giving birth to twins. You weren’t sure what would happen to her workload, but you certainly didn’t think it would all be passed down to you. 

Now all your brain can seem to focus on is the deadlines coming closer by the minute. They flash in your mind each time you consider taking a break. You never take a break - this is your one chance to prove to your boss that you’re ready to take on more responsibility. The rumours floating around the office of potential promotions, motivating your hard work ethic. 

You’ve always been a hard worker; had always been distracted by what you consider important rather than what was essential- like eating, or sleeping. Each time you got away with it. You didn’t have anyone to look after you. 

Until Matt came along. 

He’s such an attentive man and would be even without his heightened senses. You knew he’d be worried about your desperation to complete your work, completely gone to the rest of the world as your stomach grumbled louder and your under eyes got darker. 

He’s a natural worrier. That’s what compelled you to keep your stress a secret. It’s hard lying to a human lie detector,  so you’ve taken to avoiding instead. It’s easy to avoid him when you’re so busy, anyway. A couple of messages per day seems to keep him subdued for now and you’re glad; it’s all the attention you could offer.

Your lip is pulled between your teeth, chewing hard enough to draw the taste of metallic blood. None of the words before you make sense through your blurry eyesight. As you attempt to read the same sentence for the third time, you angrily rip off your glasses and groan. 

Black spots take over your vision as you rub at your eyes aggressively, hoping the sickeningly dizzy feeling that’s making your throat feel tight will go away. It’s useless, yet you only allow yourself a second break before gulping down some water and returning to work. 

Your phone rings as soon as your fingertips touch the keys of your laptop and a curse slips out of your mouth before you can stop it. You hate yourself for the spark of annoyance that has your blood boiling when you read Matt’s name on your phone. 

He’d already left three messages from before. As well as a voice message that you hadn’t yet listened to; you were practically forced to answer the phone so as not to draw concern. You’re determined not to burden him with your issues - he’s a vigilante for God’s sake, he doesn’t need your petty problems on top of his own. 

“Hey, Sweetheart.” His deep voice crackles through your phone speaker. Instantly, your shoulders relax and your eyes flutter shut. He’s the bright sun during cold days, the flowers during winter; beautiful and everything you long to see.

“Hey, Matt.” You respond lazily, mustering up enough energy to open your eyes and read the words on your laptop screen. You use one hand to type while the other holds your phone to your ear. You can hear his smile in his voice. “I’ve barely talked to you all day. I thought you were coming to mine for dinner. Did you get my voicemail?”

Guilt nags at your stomach. “I’m so sorry, Matt,” the little sigh you can hear through the other line has your heart splintering, “I’ve just been so busy with staying on top of my work as well as Mara’s-”

“It’s okay. I know how busy you’ve been. I could come by with dinner. I can do some work while you do yours.” You hate to diminish the hope in his voice, but you know he'd be worried about your obvious stress as it shines through in your old clothing and unbrushed hair (not that he’d be able to see but feel). 

“Can we do a raincheck?” You whisper, guilt nagging at your stomach. His voice is so sweet. So understanding. It makes you want to cry. “Of course, baby. Try to eat, please. And take breaks. I’ll call you tomorrow; maybe we can go out for lunch.”

“Maybe,” If I’ve got enough work done, “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You drop your phone on your lap as soon as the call ends. For once, you’re thankful for the large amounts of work, as it distracts you from the guilt that claws and tugs at your skin. 

⚝⚝⚝

The second time Matt calls, you’re nose-deep in paperwork that was slammed down on your desk. ‘More of Mara’s work,’ your boss said before leaving you with the rasing anxiety in your chest. Thoughts of taking your lunch break didn’t even assimilate in the blurry haze of your mind. 

Only the shrill ring of your phone brought you out of your bubble of work. Sighing, you don’t bother to check the name before picking it up, as you already know who it is. “Hey, Matt.” Your hand still scribbles words on the paper, phone pressed awkwardly against your ear by your shoulder.

“Hey. I called to see if you wanted lunch, but you sound busy.” Unlike last time, his voice doesn’t soothe your racing heart. If anything he makes it worse. “I’m so sorry,” you hope he can hear the sincerity in your voice, “I miss you. As soon as the crazy amount of work has subsided, I’ll call you.”

“Is there any way I can help?” You can’t help but smile at his caring nature, wanting nothing more than to be with him. But you know if you went to lunch you’d be too focused on work to be good company. “Remember that I love you?”

His laugh makes your heart melt, anxiety melting away with it. “Of course. As long as you remember that I love you. I won’t call so I don’t distract you from your work, but please take care of yourself. I love you so much, honey.”

“I love you too.” You hang up the phone and instead of returning to work immediately, you just sit there in silence, staring at the piles of paperwork in front of you. The sting of unshed tears joined by a nervous feeling in your stomach is enough to make you want to throw up. You’re so tired. 

You should have listened to your body. You should have gone out for lunch and taken a break. But instead, you got back to work, ignoring the bright red signs of a panic attack on the rise. 

⚝⚝⚝

Having been diagnosed with anxiety when you were younger, you’ve learned to identify signs of an upcoming panic attack. First, you begin to feel dizzy, then a little lightheaded. Your heart begins to hurt, and your stomach starts to turn. Then you can’t breathe, and you’re scratching at your skin to give your lungs more space to breathe. 

Now, as you stand in your kitchen, staring at the piles of paperwork that cover the dining room table, it’s hard to ignore how your body reacts to the sight of the never-ending workload; the feelings you so carelessly ignored before forced to be brought to attention. 

Your eyesight is unfocused, and you are unable to concentrate on the hand you’re using to prepare a small dinner. Your hands violently shake by your side and feel incredibly weak. But that isn’t what worries you; it’s the lack of air entering your lungs that has your eyes squeezed shut. 

Feelings of worthlessness travel up your throat and block your airways. You’re having a panic attack. The realization has you sliding down the fridge and to the floor, tears running freely down your flushed cheeks. You bring your knees to your chest, hands scratching at your throat as if it would allow air into your beaten lungs. 

Your body feels so weak, you’re sure you wouldn’t be able to stand up if you tried. You’re lost to the darkness and anguish the past weeks have wrought upon you; lost to the cruel insecurities your mind created to fool you into this vicious despair. 

No matter how hard you cry, how hard you claw and scrape at your skin, you still can’t breathe. Hopelessness washes over your chilled skin, pulling you into its shadows. You can do nothing but let it take you as its own, the fight for air warring off as you succumb to the darkness that spots your eyes. 

And as your eyes flutter shut, you fail to notice the opening of the window in the living room. You fail to notice the hurried steps and the gloved hands that hold your face gently. Or the man’s desperate calls of your name. 

⚝⚝⚝

The first thing you notice when you regain consciousness is the exhaustion that wracks through your frail body. The second thing is the man who lays next to you on your bed. 

Matt. 

He’s sleeping peacefully, chest moving up and down in slow breaths. You frown, unsure of why he’s here. The last thing you remember was you freaking out about the workload and having a panic attack. You must have fainted from the lack of air, you consider then immediately cringe. How embarrassing. 

“What are you thinking about?” You jump at the sound of Matt’s deep voice, eyes shooting up to watch a small smile grace his face at your reaction. “Why are you here?” The question comes out ruder than you intended, but Matt’s smile doesn't waver. 

“I was on patrol,” he begins, pulling you into his warm embrace, “and figured I’d stop by to check on you. I wasn’t going to come in, just listen-”

“-that’s not creepy at all-”

“-then I heard you panicking. Your heart was beating really fast and you were breathing really heavily. You were already passed out from lack of air by the time I was inside.” He pulls you in tighter like the moment still haunts him. You trace your fingertips gently down his bare arm, ear against his chest as you listen to his heartbeat. 

“What happened, sweetheart?” He asks when it became clear you weren’t going to speak. You sigh. “I’ve been a little stressed lately. And I should’ve listened to my body but I didn’t. There’s just so much work and such little time. I can’t handle all of this workload.” The familiar bite of tears has you shoving your head in Matt’s neck, letting him hold you tightly and reassure you that everything will be okay. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have worked through your stress together,” He questions quietly and you shake your head in response. “You take the burden of everyone else’s problems, and still go out every night to face all the bad guys- I just didn’t want to burden you with my problems on top of all the rest.”

He pulls away and you try not to frown at the lack of contact. Slowly, his fingers move under your chin and compel you to look into his beautiful, unfocused eyes that sparkle in the city lights shining through your windows. “You are not a burden. Your problems are not a burden. I want to be here for you. I want you to tell me what’s going on in that smart little head of yours-” He flicks your forehead playfully before giving it a small kiss “-And I want you to know you can talk to me.”

You nod your head slowly, feeling like a child that’s just been scolded. “Okay.” He lays there in silence for a moment, seemingly contemplating his words before he speaks, “I think you need to talk to your boss,” you open your mouth to protest but he cuts you off with a gentle squeeze, “This amount of work isn’t healthy. I mean, why hasn’t the workload been separated and passed around to all of your co-workers? It’s fucking stupid if you ask me. She’s obviously taking advantage of your brilliance-”

“-Matt,” You cut him off with an amused smile. His eyes glint at the sound of your giggles as if that was his mission all along and he won first place. 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me. If anything I’m being selfish.” He grins cheekily, kissing your palm as it raises to cup his cheek. “And why, pray tell, are you being selfish?” Your smile is sly and knowing. 

“Because I’m doing this to get my beautiful girl back and into my arms. Foggy isn’t as good company as you, y’know.” You giggle, holding him tightly as your mind settles on a decision. “I’ve missed you too.”

Tomorrow you’ll call your boss and ask for a lessened workload. But for now, you’re just going to lay in bed with the man you love dearly and let him hold you tightly. 

[blarshwritezz]

Yanderr mafia boss x male reader prisoner, You are a rival of the mafia boss and your group was defeated by his group, thus becoming his prisoner.

Little did you know, he had lust for you and he decides that you will succumb to his desires whether you want to or not.

A new mafia boss coming right up! But no more new mafia bosses after this, guys. I know they're hot, but my masterlist will suffer also, changing it to leader to avoid confusion hope that's okay

Yandere Mafia Leader x Prisoner Reader

M yan x M reader

TW - general yandere behavior, NSFW, noncon

How long has it been? For how many days have you been held captive here? You couldn't keep track. There weren't any windows or other ways to tell time in your damp cell.

You had to wonder if your comrades were doing alright. You weren't too close to most of them, but you were still worried. You hoped whatever they were going through wasn't much worse than what you were.

The leader of this mafia kept a constant watch on you. There was a single camera in your cell, which really wasn't strange, but you could often hear him right outside your door. He'd often come in and watch you "sleeping".

That was one of the more difficult things to do here; fall asleep. You really didn't struggle this much usually, but between the environment and the whole being watched thing, it wasn't easy.

You hoped you might finally get some rest tonight. Or...whatever time of day it was when you closed your eyes.

Your dreams almost came true...until they were crushed by the fact that you felt something choking you. You opened your eyes, taking only a few seconds to realize what was happening.

The leader was in here again, fucking your mouth! You tried to pull away, but he only gripped your hair and forced himself deeper down your throat.

He groaned as you gagged around his dick. It was almost enough to make him cum.

Oh who was he kidding? He didn't want to hold back. Not this time. With a few more thrusts, his seed was flowing down your throat.

He took both of your wrists in his hand as he pulled out, holding them tightly above your head. His free hand mover to roughly spread your legs apart.

"You're my new fuck toy, got that?" Without warning or preparation, he plunged into your ass with a pleasured groan. "I'll stop torturing you, long as you please me."

You didn't have a choice.

He was fucking you anyway, no care for how rough he was being. In fact, he seemed to like seeing you slightly in pain.

You couldn't get away, his grip on you was too tight. He smirked as you struggled, even though it was useless.

"Stop struggling so much or I'll just have to kill you, and fucking a corpse doesn't sound nearly as appealing."

He leaned down and started biting your neck, licking the blood clean as he did. He made sure the marks would be visible. You were his, everyone should know.

Despite knowing you shouldn't enjoy this, you couldn't stop the moans you made. You couldn't stop your cock from growing hard, twitching as it came closer to climax.

Finally, he slowed down, making you whine pathetically. "You want to cum? Think you deserve it? You just have to tell me you'll be mine. That your body belongs to me." He growled in your ear.

You couldn't! You refused, shaking your head.

"If you say so." He chuckled, pounding into you harder than before. Only to stop right as you were on the edge again.

And that became a cycle. He fucked you hard and stopped over and over until you were a whimpering mess beneath him. And of course, he couldn't be fair. While he denied you the right to cum over and over, he repeatedly filled your asshole with his seed. Over and over again until your insides were painted fully white.

All until you begged him for release. Saying anything for him to let you cum. Even that you and your body belonged to him.

"There's a good boy..." His hands released your now bruised legs and wrists, one moving to your nipple as the other made its way to your ass. In one swift motion, he pulled out and replaced his cock with his fingers. They curled in you, hitting all the right spots.

As his hands worked wonders on you, he took your cock unto his mouth and sucked you off. Pathetic as it was, it didn't take very long before you came. He moaned, the sound vibrating around your cock as he swallowed your cum.

"There we go. Not so difficult, right? And you get to cum like that whenever I want for the rest of your life~"

I think that one was pretty decent! or at least, I really hope so

[weneeya]

Hii :D may I request Genshin Sumeru men with an s/o who always has cold limbs? my best friend prohibited me to hug them because of my cold hands *sigh* so I need something to warm up :( anyways, have a great day!!

always cold w/ sumeru boys m.list | rules

note. hiiii thank you for your request! I hope you're doing okay with your cold hands and that it's nothing too worrying <3 hope you'll enjoy this!

Al Haitham

act like he doesn’t really care

does care in fact 

annoyed but deal with it 

He was sitting at his desk, working on some paper as he was the Acting Grand Sage now. He was so busy that he didn’t spend time with you for the last few days. But you knew how to get his attention, and you were sure that it would work. 

You arrived from behind him without making too much noise, and you let your cold hands rest on his neck. It surprised him, he couldn’t say otherwise, as he slightly jumped on his chair at the touch. He quickly looked behind him, frowning a bit as he met your gaze and your proud smile. 

“I’m busy,” he said, “and I’m cold,” you answered him without any hesitation. He knew what you were trying to do, and it simply made him sighed discreetly. He had work to do and he wasn't going to stop right now ; but he wouldn’t brush you away either. So he let you warm up your hands against his skin, as he kept working. 

Kaveh

the definition of softness

he would always try to warm up your hands with his

he’s always worried that you might be cold so he’s really attentive on this 

You were sitting on the couch, rubbing your hands together as you were trying to warm them up. They were so cold, as always, and it almost started to hurt you. When Kaveh came home after some time, he saw you there, slightly shaking. 

He came quickly closer to you, a bit worried because he knew you were frequently cold. He sat right next to you, grabbing your hands between his. He slowly brought them closer to his lips so he could softly blow his warm breath against your skin. 

“Are you okay? Is it working?” he asked you, raising his eyes to meet your gaze. You couldn’t help but to smile slightly at how adorable he was with you. Always so caring about your cold hands: it warmed your heart. 

Cyno

he doesn’t really care about your cold limbs 

except when you’re trying to warm them up with him

Cyno was laying in your shared bed, sleeping peacefully ; or at least trying to sleep. You were right next to him, bundled up in the blanket. You were so cold right now, almost shivering, and you couldn’t understand how your boyfriend was sleeping without any problem. 

You looked at him, when an idea crossed your mind. A smirk appeared on your lips before you brought your feet closer to him. You put them right against his back, making him jump slightly in surprise. 

“What the-” he turned his head, trying to look at you as you started to giggled softly. It was even funnier than you expected, and your feet were feeling warmer. Cyno was a real radiator. He sighed a bit, before turning completely around to face you. He opened his arms and you almost rushed against him, hiding your face in his neck. You were feeling way better now. 

Tighnari

always taking care of your health

so your cold limbs are always a concern for him 

“You should wear warmer clothes,” he said, frowning as he saw you going out in such light clothes. You looked at him in disbelief, you didn’t expect such a reaction from him. Your boyfriend was always concerned by your health, worrying too much about your whole problem with the cold. 

“I’m fine Nari, it’s just my hands,” you told him as you showed him your hands, a little smile on your lips. He came closer to you, grabbing your hands between his to examine them. He looked back into your gaze, before shaking his head slowly. 

“Here, wear this,” he holded gloves out to you, waiting for you to take and wear them. You rolled your eyes but didn’t fight back. With Tighnari, it was completely useless. He would never let you go out without being sure that you would be warm. 

It was his way of taking care of you as he could. Health was his domain, so protect your health was the least he could do.

I love sumeru boys sm they're my favorite pls hoyoverse bring them back

[girlgenius1111]

all i do is try, try, try

alexia and r finally talk.

part 3!

"I can't- I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired, Alexia, I can't." You choked out. You suddenly looked so completely broken, all of the fight, the frustration nowhere to be found.

Alexia felt useless; everything in her was telling her to pull you into a hug, but she wasn't sure you wanted it, not from her. She turned, looking helplessly for Olga. Her girlfriend stood in the doorway, a small frown on her face. She nodded reassuringly at Alexia, as if to tell her to trust her instincts. Your sister turned back to you, hesitantly wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

You practically collapsed into her, wrapping your arms around her tightly, as if afraid she would disappear if you weakened your grip for even a second. Alexia could feel you trembling against her, and she held solidly to you, blinking hard at the tears that were gathering in her eyes. Your anguished sobs, the way you clung to her shirt, the way you gasped for air in between your cries, it was all killing her.

"Ale, I can't anymore, please just make it stop," You sobbed, and Alexia pressed a kiss into the top of your head.

"Hey, hey, cariño, it's okay, you're okay," Alexia murmured, trying to calm you down.

"No, I can't, I can't do it, Ale."

"I don't know what you mean. Talk to me, pequeña, please. Tell me, and I'll fix it." Alexia pleaded, wishing that anyone else was here with her. You didn't need her, you needed Alba, or your mom, but she was the only one around. The one who had made her so upset, and she didn't know if she could fix it.

"I can't, I can't," You repeated, and Alexia pulled away from the embrace, gripping your face in between her hands.

"Breathe, pequeña, please. Calm down for me, and we can then we can fix it. You just need to calm down." The blonde insisted, running her hand through your hair in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

For the second time in as many days, Alexia began trying to calm you down, hoping her words would work better this time. "You're safe with me, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You don't need to worry about anything right now, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Just when Alexia was going to call for Olga, tell her to get someone on the phone, you push away from her like you'd been burned, resting your head in your hands as you stutter through several deep breaths.

You couldn't go to Alexia for comfort, not now. You needed to fix this yourself. Your sister shouldn't have to be responsible for trying to put the broken pieces of you back together.

"Nena?" Alexia asked after a minute, resting her hand on your back.

"Just give me a second," you responded, shifting to avoid her touch. Alexia sighed, sitting back into the couch, her eyes never leaving you.

Once you'd gotten some control back over yourself, you sat back, your face melting into a mask of indifference. "Sorry, Ale. I'm sorry." You stated, before moving to grab your crutches and get off the couch, fleeing the conversation seeming like your only option at this point. Before you could, Alexia pulled on the back of your shirt, forcing you back down onto the couch.

"No, nena, no. We're going to talk about this, please. Talk to me. I'm begging you, I want to hear what you have to say."

You rub your face roughly. "I don't know what to say, Alexia."

Your sister pauses, not quiet sure where to begin. "What were you saying to Olga? You said... you said you thought I would hate you, that i'd be disappointed in you."

"I don't- I don't think I'm strong enough for this, Alexia, to come back from this."

"Chica, it is only a broken ankle. It is only a few months." Alexia didn't understand, not at all.

"A few months is a long time. And I'm so tired." You replied, struggling to say enough to satisfy your sister, but not so much that you exposed how horribly you were coping with everything.

Alexia knew you were exhausted, she could tell now. She looked at you, and she finally saw what everyone around you had been seeing. She just didn't understand what had pushed you to this point; it wasn't her, couldn't be her. "Why are you so tired, nena?"

"I'm trying so hard to be perfect, and I keep messing up. There's so much pressure, all the time, and I feel like it's killing me." Your choice of words wasn't accidental or random, and your sister could tell. She inhaled slowly, before trying to put herself in your position.

"The media, it is a lot? The expectations are a lot, but you can't pay too much attention to them," Alexia began, trying to reassure you.

You shook your head, cutting her off. "The media is a lot, yes. It's also... fuck. It's also you, Ale. I feel like nothing I do is good enough for you. I'm not strong like you, I'm not perfect like you, no matter how hard I try."

"I don't understand. I have made you feel this way?" The blonde asked, her voice incredibly small.

"You always want more from me, and sometimes it's okay, but other times, I just feel like I can't do anything right, anything the way you want me to. You tell me I'll be back before 4 months, and it's like all of a sudden there's a deadline at 3 months, and I have to be back by then, or you won't be happy with me." You chanced a look at your sister, finding her completely and utterly shocked.

You continued, realizing that you might as well just tell the entire truth at this point. "I just want to be good enough, Alexia. Good enough that you're proud and that you love me."

Alexia's face crumples at this, reacting to your words like she'd been struck by you. She seems to consider what to say for a while, mouth opening and closing before finally, she settles on something, looking at you.

"I am so sorry." She said, drawing in a big breath as if to prepare for a long speech. You shake your head, but she holds up a hand, telling you to be quiet for a minute. "I never meant to make you feel like that, never. I thought I was doing the right thing, pushing you to be better in a way you wanted. I didn't realize it was too much, I didn't realize you were struggling so much, nena."

Alexa paused, getting her emotions under control.

"I don't want you to be me, or do things just because you think they'll make me happy. Pequeña, you are you, and you are perfect. I don't want you to be anybody but yourself. Whatever makes you happy, that's all I want."

"But with football," you began, before Alexia cuts you off with a strong shake of her head.

"Fuck football. Hermanita, if you wanted to quit football today, I would love you just as much, I would be just as proud of you. You don't need to earn that from me; you are a good person, an incredible sister, and that is why I love you. Not because of what you do or don't do on the pitch. That doesn't matter to me, not really. You matter to me. More than anything."

You still wouldn't look at your sister, so Alexia grabs you by the shoulders turning you to face her. Her eyes are glistening with tears when she speaks, the words cracking you open, leaving a chasm of pain behind.

"You will always be good enough for me, do you understand? I will always love you. Nothing you could do will ever change that." Alexia promised, watching as your body sags with relief. You lean imperceptibly towards her, and Alexia pulls you in again, not letting go even as you shake against her.

"Oh, pequeña. I love you, hermanita. I love you more than anything." Alexia whispered. "I'm so sorry you felt like this, so so sorry. Mi hermanita perfecta, te amo mucho de menos."

You stayed like that for a while, face buried in your sister's shirt, letting go of all of the stress and sadness that had been weighing on you for the past months. Alexia wanted to cry, too, but she didn't let herself. Forcing you to deal with her emotions right now wouldn't be fair. Not after all that she had unknowingly put you through.

"You're going to take your time getting better, however long it takes. And you'll stay here with me and Olga, as long as you need. I'm going to be a better sister, nena, I promise you. I promise." Your sister said the words quietly, but the weight of them was not diminished.

"And you won't be mad if it takes longer?" You asked, leaning back and drying your eyes.

"No. Never."

"Okay." You said, a small smile gracing your lips. "I'm sorry I overreacted."

"You didn't overreact; not at all. The only thing you need to be sorry about as that you didn't tell me sooner how much you were struggling. I'm your sister, nena, you can tell me anything. Always."

-----

Alexia waited until you were soundly asleep in your bed before she allowed herself her emotions. She barely made it in the door of her bedroom before tears were flowing down her face, and she was stumbling blindly towards where her girlfriend awaited her in bed.

"Oh, Ale," Olga sighed, pulling her girlfriend into her arms.

"How did I do this to her? For months, and not realize the pressure she was under, how unhappy she was?" Alexia sobbed, gripping tight to her girlfriend.

"Alexia, you didn't know." Olga tried, but her girlfriend only cried harder.

"I should have. She's my responsibility, I should have known."

"She didn't want you to know. All of this, it isn't your fault. You both should have communicated better. And you will, from here on out. If there is anything I know about you, mi amor, it's that when you set your mind on something, you do it. You'll help her, Ale, you'll fix it. She'll be okay again."

"But she's not okay now." Alexia said, looking up at her girlfriend with wide, watery eyes.

Olga chuckled lightly, running her hand through her girlfriend's soft hair. "She can't always be okay, amor. She has you, though, and she trusts you. You'll make sure she gets through this."

A knock at the door interrupted Alexia before she could respond, and she hastily wiped her eyes, sitting up off her girlfriend as she told you to come in. The door creaked open, and you hesitantly crutched in a step.

"What's up, nena?" Alexia asked, smiling confidently at you, as if she wasn't just sobbing into her girlfriend's shirt. Either you didn't notice, or you pretended that you didn't.

"Can I... can I sleep in here tonight?" You asked, eyes flitting anxiously between your sister and her girlfriend. Both of them only smiled, though, and Alexia scooted closer to Olga, motioning you closer. You scooted into the next to her, letting your sister wrap you up in her arms, like she used to do when you'd sneak into her bed after a bad nightmare.

"Goodnight, nena. I love you. Tomorrow will be better." Alexia murmured. You nodded in agreement.

"I love you to, Ale." You told her quietly.

You weren't exactly sure, but as Alexia's arms tightened around you, you considered that maybe she needed this as much as you did.

-----

Things from then on out were easier for you; you had your confidante back, your shoulder to cry on. Alexia proved to you everyday that she meant what she'd promised you. The biggest instance of this was when you suffered a rather unfortunate setback in recovery, one that sent you back on crutches only days after you'd finally gotten off of them.

-----

You were in the gym, working on lifting some weights, trying to keep the strength in your arms up. It was a freak accident, you tripping in your clunky boot, and stumbling into Jana, who managed to keep you upright. Not upright enough that you didn't step down, hard on your ankle. Apparently just in the right spot for you to set your healing back several weeks. You'd collapsed onto the ground, crying out. You were upset, silently so, until Alexia arrived to the medical room you were in, having sprinted over from the training pitch.

"Hey, pequeña, I'm here." Alexia announced, eyes fluttering over you frantically. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"A little. I have to go back on crutches." You said tearfully. It had been a while since had Alexia seen you be so willingly emotionally vulnerable. She hoped it was a sign that things were improving, that you were trusting her again.

"Let's get you home, yeah? I texted Olga, she's picking up dinner for us. Your favorite." Alexia smiled, helping you up and off the table. You were silently stunned at her lack of questions; it was completely bizarre that your sister didn't ask any questions about the injury. Her focus seemed to be entirely on getting you to the car, and home. She went out of her way to make ridiculous jokes she knew would make you laugh, effectively distracting you when she did an impression of Mapi staring at Ingrid taking penalty shots.

You were almost home when you brought up what was on your mind.

"You didn't ask how much longer I'd be out for." You mentioned quietly.

"It doesn't matter. I just wanted to know you were okay." Alexia said, not a shred of doubt in her voice. You stared over at her, where her eyes were fixed on the road in front of her.

"Ale?" You said.

She glanced over at you. "Yeah?"

"You're a really good sister." You told her. Alexia could only give you a watery smile, turning back towards the road, although she squeezed your shoulder appreciatively as she did so. It meant more to her than she could express, you telling her that.

You'd worked hard to trust her again; she never directly showed you how much your confession had affected her, but you knew it had weighed heavily on her. You'd caught the tail end of the conversation she'd had with her girlfriend, and you promised yourself, there and then, that you'd try to have more faith in yourself. If not because you deserved it, because you'd do it for your sister, who carried the weight of everyone around her's problems on her shoulders at all times.

It wouldn't just be for her, eventually. It would be because you knew you deserved kindness from yourself.

-----

not proofread. hope its everything you could have hoped for :)

[hyunnie04]

pleaaaaase i need a reader x hyunjin where hyunjin sweats his ass off during sex and it drips on the reader!!! (totally not thinking about this from his most recent live)

a/n: sorry for the sort of long exposition!! kinda got carried away since the req was so hot jhasjdhjhds i hope it turned out ok!! sweaty hyune is so.. 😵‍💫

unprotected sex, sweat, mdni 18+ nsfw below the cut

hyunjin had texted you a few hours ago that he would be home later than expected. you were fine with it, noticing how hard he worked these days. passion never rested for someone like hyunjin.

sending him a quick ‘ok, take care love youuuuu’, you decided to do some light reading in the meantime. you have been trying to find some down time, not really finding the right moment to squeeze it in your hectic schedule.  

it was almost midnight now. laying down on your stomach for an extended amount of time was probably bad for you, but the novel that rested on your bed had you completely engrossed. legs dangled up in the air as you flip another page, a quiet yawn escapes your mouth.

the bed dips as a figure hovers over yours. the figure straddles and lies down to rest on your back. surprise takes over your features before you could turn back to look, but a kiss to your shoulder told you everything you needed to know.

"hyunjin!"

“baby, you weren’t answering your phone.” hyunjin mumbles, his voice soft and raspy, most likely worn out from practice.

you turn your head to glance at the neglected phone beside you in worry. surely enough upon pressing the on button, a flurry of unread messages from hyunjin had popped up. there were at least 15 and they mostly consisted of wondering where you had gone. the guilt immediately sets in, sitting up to face him.   

“oh, no i’m so sorry. i must’ve lost track…” you close your book and throw it to the side, mad at it for distracting you for such a long time. you hope whatever he texted you was nothing urgent. 

he laughs at your expression, kissing the space between your eyebrows. hyunjin takes the strings of your hoodie and pulls you closer. he was still in this practice clothes, the beanie he left with this morning was nowhere to be found. your legs slot right in between his while hyunjin tilts your chin up to his eye level. “it’s okay, baby.” he smiles, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. “i know how much you love reading.” 

that one simple action from him made your heart practically pound out of your chest. no matter how many times he manages to fluster you with his gentle touches, it always feels like the first time. heat easily creeps up your neck as he turns you around to cuddle.

when hyune was tired, he turns into the cutest, clingiest ferret.

hyunjin’s hands snake over the expanse of your stomach, further burying his head into your neck. the hot puffs of breath from his mouth and the growing hardness in his pants send goosebumps all over your flushed body.

and sometimes, he turns into the horniest one.

you stop yourself from audibly gulping as he leans to whisper in your ear.

“hmm? are you getting flustered?” hyunjin rasps out lowly from behind the shell of your ear. wetness followed as soon as those honeyed words left his lips. it was useless in denying it, he knows damn well how much it affected you.

-

you were down on your shared bed, laid bare and disheveled all for hyunjin to see. you're still recouping from the mind numbing head he had lovingly given you, not expecting him to still have the stamina to go down on you judging by his sleepy state just an hour ago.

hyunjin’s lean and toned figure hovers over yours as his faded grayish pink strands fall delicately over his eyes. he was still dressed in his dark hoodie, only pushing the waistband of his sweats under his length, stubbornly insisting that tonight was about you.

when he had finally entered your drenched cunt, you immediately felt incredibly full, like you always did. hyunjin’s flushed length is eagerly hugged by your gummy walls as if it was solely made for him alone. the deep groan he lets out drives you insane.

he had let out a shudder, feeling your warm pussy swallow him whole, combined essence slowly dribbling down the ruined sheets. hyunjin struggles to contain himself from giving in too early, wanting to make you comfortable first.

a light sheen of sweat starts to collect on his brow line as he adjusts his hips, eliciting a mewl of pleasure from you.

any movement- no matter how little, from either one of you sends mind numbing, electrifying shocks towards your sensitive nerves, tethering on the edge of orgasm. 

looking at hyunjin with hazy eyes, his chest heaved heavily with desire, poking his tongue out to lick his lower lip in that teasing manner that he usually does.

you wonder for a second if it was possible to get any wetter- with hyunjin? it definitely was. 

he looked absolutely sinful, staring down at you hungrily with half lidded eyes as if he was hunting prey, tongue still cheekily poking out and ready to pounce.

“hyune-” the words prematurely die in your throat, getting cut off by the abrupt desperate thrust of his hips. hyunjin couldn't hold back any longer.

you cry out, hands gripping the sheets in an attempt to ground yourself from the animalistic pace he had set. hyunjin is like a man starved by the way his unrelenting thrusts into you eventually start to rock the bed.

you can't help but grind yourself in time with his hips, the wet sound of skin slapping against each other echoing through out the room.

cum obscenely drips from your connected bodies and hyunjin can't help but take his fingers out and spread it further onto your weeping cunt. his surprising actions make you squeal out, clutching on to his forearm and subconsciously making you clench around his delicious cock.

he hisses through the overwhelming pleasure, continuing to toy with your overly sensitive lower lips whilst keeping his momentum.

"you're so pretty, my love..." hyunjin mindlessly sighs out. you could only moan in response, too fucked out to reply.

hyunjin was starting to get hot, you could tell. sweat had started to accumulate all over his body, making him glisten even in the dim atmosphere. the sweat saturates and dampen his hair, making him run a hand through them every few seconds in an attempt to keep them from falling.

seemingly having enough, hyunjin abruptly stops his movements. a strangled sob of desperation escapes your throat as he angrily pulls the zipper of his hoodie down, throwing it next to you. it was so incredibly hot.

you could smell the intense scent of his perfume mixed with sweat along with the unmistakable erotic smell of sex radiating off his skin now. he bites his lips and closes his eyes as he sinks easily into your slick cunt once more, resuming his exhilarating pace.

hyunjin’s lithe arms cages you in between them as droplets of sweat start to drip profusely off his chin and down on to your chest.

the first time you and hyunjin had sex, you were simply astonished by how much sweat he produced. he even apologized for it, for something he couldn't control. you had to insist that you really weren't bothered by it. everybody sweats, some just more than others.

in fact, it secretly made you even hornier knowing how your hot and sexy boyfriend was wet, soaking, and glistening, how could it not make you horny? many nights were spent thinking of him in that state, tempted to just lick it off him in depravity.

it was definitely an unexpected but welcomed addition to your unexplored kinks. you haven't even told hyunjin, so it takes him by surprise when you pull him closer with your legs around his waist, kissing, lapping at the droplets that continue to fall down his chin.

he gapes at you with a momentarily look of bewilderment, but then a flash of ferality in his eyes takes over. hips now starting to stutter aimlessly, he drowns in his unrestrained pleasure. savoring your sweet mewls of ecstasy fueled by his own erotic grunts and hisses.

hyunjin leans down to trail tender wet kisses of desperation along the junction of your neck and shoulders. it's spreads more and more of his perspiration onto the dewy expanse of your skin, the sight of it is absolutely nothing short of pornographic.

the tell tale sign of his orgasm shows, breath hitching in his throat and the bruising grip he has on your hips says it all. his hair flips upwards along with the slight tilt of his head as you clutch his toned arms in return, finally spurting his release inside of you.

wrapping your arms around his neck, the thick searing hot cum that spills inside your walls prompt yourself on the edge of unraveling. hyunjin reaches a hand to your aching clit, rubbing tight little circles on the bud to aid your release.

the throbbing in your pussy seems to increase by tenfold, hips wildly bucking up to meet his hands. you cum with a whine, relief washing over you.

the piercing just below his eyebrow shines against the golden light of your night lamp, getting covered by his pretty hair falling on his face while he stares into your half lidded eyes.

your fingers instinctively reach up to tuck the strands behind his ears, just to see the beautiful piece of jewelry. hyunjin’s eyes are still shut from the aftershocks, but that didn’t stop him from taking your palm and kissing it affectionately.

“i love you so much.”

"i love you too."

he collapses on the wet valley of your breasts, resting his head to recover. both of your breathing are labored, no doubt extremely exhausted.

“we really need a shower.” you hum, smiling adoringly at his tuckered out form, playing with the hair on his nape. hyunjin raises a suggestive eyebrow at your proposal and lets out a cheeky giggle.

"if you wanted to get even wetter, all you had to do was ask."

[d0youc0py]

Can you do like the 141 taskforce+könig crying and not wanting the reader see. But then the reader walks in the room and started to comfort them.

“Could you pass these to Ghost? They need his signature.” You hummed in response taking the folder from Price.

“Sending me to find the grump. Real nice Cap.” You groaned playfully. Price let out a soft chuckle and you could feel the eye roll as you shut the office door behind you.

You were actually looking forward to tracking him down. He’d been different lately. Colder, snippier. At least to you it was unusual. Soap explained to you that’s how Ghost was way before you joined, and it took a lot of work to get the masked man to where he was now- a relatively happy human being. You thought Johnny just wanted some glory, but you were starting to think he was telling the truth.

“Lieu.” You chirped, the large, metal door to the roof creaked and whined as you shut it. You knew you’d find him here. It’s the only place he can smoke. He had his back against the wall, and he quickly put out his cigarette on your arrival. “Don’t have to stop for me.”

“And listen to you fake cough for twenty minutes?” He huffed. You plopped down next to him. His mask rested on his knee, his head facing the opposite direction of where you were.

“Cap wanted you to sign these.” You said, handing the file over. He grabbed it, surprised by how light it was.

“It’s empty.” He swallowed a chuckle.

“What?” You leaned over your shoulder pressing against his. An empty file folder stared back at you. Maybe the papers fell out in the hallway? You hoped it wasn’t confidential.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a Price tactic.” He groaned. “He just wanted to give you a reason to come check on me.” Simon sighed resting his upper face against his palms.

“Why me.” You mumbled.

“Cause he knows I won’t bite your head off.” Simon finally looked over at you a small smirk on his lips.

“You’ve been crying?” You almost gasped, taking in the red blotches across his face. His brows furrowed.

“No.” He spat. “Probably gettin’ sunburnt.”

“It’s okay to cry Lieu.” You pressed. He huffed again.

“I wasn’t crying.” He pressed back.

“I cry.” You commented.

“You think I don’t know that? How many times have you slobbered all over me since we’ve been working together.” The comment made you chuckle. Simon had been your shoulder to cry on during more than one occasion.

“You’re right.” You tsked, resting your head against his shoulder. He tensed but let his body relax. “You know I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to slobber all over me for a change.” You whispered.

He didn’t say anything, but the way his hand squeezed yours provided more emotion than any of his words could.

It was always a challenging adjustment, going from Captain with thousands of people relying on you to just being John. It didn’t help that his home was a recluse cottage in the English countryside. To most people it was something out of a storybook, to him though- it was a type of prison. It was so quiet- except for birds chirping and the sound of trickling water from a nearby stream. He didn’t deserve such tranquility. It wasn’t a home to him, just a place he could get drunk and sleep it off- maybe cry if he had the energy.

That was until he met you.

When you told him you couldn’t go on leave with him this time he quickly threw himself back into his old habits as soon as he walked through the door of his ‘home.’ You had made it a home. The whole place felt of you. You had turned the dark, run down cottage into a sanctuary, but without you physically there it resembled the prison he was much more familiar with. He grabbed a brand new bottle of scotch from the cabinet, quickly retreating into the bedroom.

Without you there he had no place to hide. Nothing to take his mind off of work. He was just John. Completely useless John.

You hoped he wasn’t upset at you. You had a family emergency and you just thought it would be better if he didn’t come with you. You didn’t need to expose him to that mess. Yet as the phone went to his voicemail for the tenth time you wondered if you had maybe made the wrong call.

“Hey Cap, it’s me, again. Listen I hope you aren’t upset at me, I don’t think you are but”- You cut yourself off. “Call me back please? I should be able to wrap up here in a day or two. Love you.” You hung up with a sigh.

You had kept your promise and the family affair only took another day to sort out.

“Cap!” You yelled, shutting the door behind you. The weather outside was depressing, matching the atmosphere inside. Complete silence. “Cap!” You tried again. You trudge up the narrow steps of the cottage, already having a feeling where he was. The bedroom door was wide open, he was sprawled out on his stomach, his back rising and falling as he slept. You grabbed the empty bottle off the floor, and trudged back down the stairs, starting on dinner. You felt horribly responsible.

He had opened up here and there about how he struggled during leave. You didn’t doubt it. He was always so composed during missions that it only seemed natural for it to all come to a boiling point sometime. A loud shout from upstairs snapped you out of your thoughts. You jumped at the sound, your feet making quick work up the stairs.

“Cap?” You asked quietly. You could hear his labored breathing from down the hall. He had flung his legs over the bed his head buried in his hands. The sound of your voice caused his head to snap up. He rubbed at his face, but you caught a few glistening tears.

“I didn’t know you were here.” He offered you a fake smile, trying his best to cover up his embarrassment.

“You alright?” You began to walk towards him but he stood up waving you off.

“Sometimes my mind wanders away from me when I sleep, nothin for you to worry about.” He assured, digging in his closet for a shirt.

“I didn’t know you had nightmares.” You continued, sitting on the edge of his bed. He waved you off again. “I was worried, you know?” You sighed. He rolled his shoulders, joining you on the bed. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off.

“I know it must be hard having everyone rely on you all the time, but you need someone too, John. You deserve a break, you deserve to be happy- actually you deserve it more than anyone I know.” You wrapped your arm up with his, leaning against his shoulder. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had spoken so softly to him. He wondered if anyone ever had spoken to him in this way. It made the last few bricks of his wall crumble and he let a few silent tears roll down his face. Neither of you made any move to wipe them away.

You groaned quietly to yourself as a knock clamored through your room.

“Come in!” You shouted. The door knob made no move to open. You shrugged, reburying yourself under the covers.

Another knock.

“Come in!” You shouted again. The door didn’t even budge.

Another knock.

“Steamin Jesus.” You growled, throwing the covers off of you. You opened the door, only to come face to face with a teary eyed Johnny.

“Bubbles?” You questioned softly. “What happened?” He threw you a smile.

“Nothing.” He denied.

“You’re shaking, Jo.” Your hands rested against his arms.

“Tough workout.” He said quickly.

“That’s also why you’re panting?” You continued. He nodded his head.

“I didn’t even know the gym was open this late- or should I say early.” You hummed looking over at the clock. Your eyes met his again.

“Goodnight.” He said suddenly, opening the door next to yours. He disappeared into his room. You groaned softly, closing the door. You walked back over to your bed, stopping at the door that conjoined your room with his. You didn’t bother to knock as you slowly creaked it open.

Even in the darkness you could find him hiding underneath the bedsheets. His large body took up most of the bed so you just plopped down on top of him. “Jo.” You hummed. Your hand snaked its way under the covers, petting at his hair. “Why’re you sad?”

“Not sad.” He insisted. “Thought you called me so I went to check on you.”

“If you’re going to lie to me I’m not going to cuddle you.” You sighed moving to get up. He acted fast, wrapping you up in his blanket, nuzzling his face between your cheek and the pillow.

“Had a bad dream.” He finally muttered out.

“I understand, that last mission was a rough one.” You soothed scratching up and down his back. He shook his head.

“Wasn’t about work.” He sighed, his grip on you tightening.

“You wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head, shamelessly breathing in your scent. “Okay.” You smiled softly. You pulled the sheets up, doing your best to tuck the both of you in. “You never have to feel bad about coming to me, you know. You always take care of me, it’s about time I started repaying the favor.” You spoke, giving him a squeeze. You didn’t mention it when you felt his wet tear roll down your neck.

“Oh, I’m sorry Ky!” You sputtered quickly. He had forgotten to lock the bathroom door. Luckily he wasn’t in a compromising position.

“It’s alright.” He said quickly, splashing his face with cold water, praying you didn’t noticed the redness around his eyes.

“You okay.” You asked softly. Of course you noticed. No one could ever get anything past you.

“I’m fine.” He responded curtly. You bit your lip, taking the cue to shut the door. That wasn’t the last time you would see him with a similar appearance.

He had been dodging everyone. The normal life-of-the-party quickly turning into a bad attitude that even made Ghost uncomfortable. He had dark circles under his puffy eyes, and his voice was so hoarse that when he did speak it caused you to wince. It took you a whole day to finally corner him.

“Didn’t know you smoked.” You said, stepping onto the fire escape.

“I don’t.” He responded bluntly, taking another drag. You sighed, grabbing the little white stick before putting it out on a cigar filled ashtray. He scratched at his forehead, leaning back against the cold bars. You sat down next to him, not bothering to say a word. You just stared at him. “What?” He chuckled dryly. It was obvious he was growing uncomfortable under your gaze. “What’s your problem.” He snapped.

“What’s your problem?” You chided back. His face softened.

“Nothin.”

“Knock it off, Ky.” You snipped. He opened his mouth, the edges of his lips curling. He took a deep breath, calming himself. “Why won’t you let anyone help you? Everyone has tried to pry what’s going on out of you but all you’ve done is brush people off. We’re a family, Ky.” Your voice was soft, so soft it sent a shiver down his spine.

“People already don’t take me seriously. The last thing I need is for someone to pin me as a baby.” He muttered through a clenched jaw.

“Ky, no one thinks of you that way.” You gasped, resting your chin against his shoulder. You tangled your arms with his. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

“Mom’s sick again.” He admitted. “I know she’s taken care of back home but I just wish I could do more.” He quickly wiped a tear that escaped his eye.

“Ky, I’m so sorry.” You whispered, squeezing his arm. “You talk to Cap? I’m sure he’d excuse you.” He quickly shook his head.

“Don’t want any special treatment. Besides she’s kill me if I make a fuss over her, she’s already mad that I’ve been callin her twice a day.” He let out a light chuckle. “She’ll be fine, she always is.”

“You must get your toughness from her, uh?” You smiled.

“I like to think so.” He smirked.

If there was one thing Konig hated most in the world it was room full of loud, drunk, strangers. So when the team demanded they go out to celebrate he quickly declared he had a load of paperwork to do. It wasn’t until he overheard Horangi complement how good you looked in your civilian clothes did he decide to tag along. He was colonel after all, couldn’t let his team make an utter fool of themselves.

He felt sick before the car even stopped, the loud music and loud chatter easily heard from down the street. He didn’t even really like to drink. He needed to have full control over his body. Yet he was about to break that rule as all sorts of people brushed up against him. His height didn’t seem to matter here, the alcohol making people feel invincible.

“Give me a piggy-back ride!” Someone yelled from next to him. He groaned low in his throat, keeping his eyes trained on you. You quickly found the dance floor and he quickly found the perfect spot to view you from. Despite his height the hoard of people quickly caused you to fade from view.

The thought of something happening to you flickered through his mind. What if someone got handsy? He knew you could handle yourself- but he wanted to handle it for you. With another groan he left his seat in the corner of the room trudging his way through the mass of sweaty, loud people. He did take a bit of satisfaction from bumping into them a little too hard.

Where the hell were you? Trained blue eyes scanned the room from top to bottom, side to side and yet no sign of you. Were you getting swallowed up by the masses too? He wiped the sweat off his flushed forehead. It seemed never ending. The shouting. The touching. The room. The eyes. The hands. The sounds. The smells. The lights. Everything was just too much. He was about to scream when he felt a soft hand grab his. He recognized the feel of your skin instantly. He let his brain turn to mush as you pulled him out of the crowd, your sweet eyes sending him a worried glance. The hot air felt cool against his burning skin. He leaned against the wall, keeping your hand wrapped in his large one, like a lifeline.

“You alright Konnie?” You hummed, giving his hand a squeeze. He nodded his head, quickly wiping a few overwhelmed tears that managed to slip past his waterline. “Ko.” You sighed again, reaching up brushing one he missed away. His head flinched away. “Don’t be embarrassed Konnie. It was a lot- even for me.” You whispered, taking a few steps closer. His breathing had just began to come back to normal until you pressed yourself against his side.

“I hope no one else say that.” He grumbled. “I’d be unemployed.” You snickered.

“I won’t tell Konnie. I promise.”

[iluvapplesxh]

⧽⧽⧽Behind The Scenes II. ⧼⧼⧼

✰ pair: billie eilish x fem!reader

✯ summary: The man you thought has finally stopped haunting you, suddenly gives you a call. And needless to say, he doesn't quite like it when you seek comfort from the one person you should've left out of this.

✰ warnings: stalking, a little bit of fluff, angst, blood, stabbing, intentions and attempt of kidnapping, mentions of vomiting, !ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE! (5.8k+ words)

✯ part I.

✒ a/n: the fluff fics sitting in my drafts like: 😴. (I accidentally posted this when it was halfway done and almost had a panic attack)

The silence in your apartment was overbearingly loud as you sat by your kitchen counter. There was a glass in front of you, half empty, filled with some type of alcoholic drink you took out of your fridge. You hadn’t drunk that much, but your head was pounding while you rested it on your cold, clammy palms. 

Gosh, why couldn’t you just get her out of your head? That stupid, worried expression she had been looking at you with a couple days prior. The soft crease in her brows, the pouty frown which had been so beautiful on those pretty pink lips. Or how her fingers had wrapped around your wrist, pulling you back against her. Close. So close you’d felt her breath on your skin before you’d painfully stepped away. 

A long, soft breath slipped past your lips as you shook your head in hopes of making the thoughts vanish. But it was useless. You couldn’t just stop thinking about her. Not when the two of you parted ways so…stupidly. 

But you weren’t in the wrong. You had a fucking stalker at the time. And you couldn’t just say no  to him.  Not when he had been threatening you with such  things. But then again, you could have, no, should have told Billie. So why didn’t you? Maybe you were scared he’d find out somehow. Or maybe you were just a coward. Whichever, it wasn’t the right or your decision to make. 

You perked up when your ears picked up the faint sound of your phone ringing in your bedroom where you had put it up to charge. 

You pushed the glass in front of you away and stood with another heavy sigh. You slowly walked towards your bedroom, walking through the door and up to your bedside table where your phone was plugged in. But, when you stopped in front of the wooden furniture and your gaze fell on the bright screen of your phone -a tight contrast to the darkness in your room- and what you saw was; Caller ID: unknown.

Your brows knitted together and a lump formed in your throat at the realisation. Your jaw clenched tightly as you took a deep breath before picking up the device, unplugging it before accepting the call with a shaky thumb.

“Hello?”

Just about as soon as the word left your mouth, a dark chuckle came from your phone, making you cringe. “Hey, beautiful. How are you?” A rough, deep voice said. “Enjoying the single life?” He continued, a smug smirk noticeable in his tone even though you couldn’t see him.

You screwed your eyes shut for a brief moment before sceptical gazing towards your windows, covered by blinds. “What do you want?” You asked, your voice filled with confusion and anger. “You already destroyed my relationship. What else could you possibly want?” You all but pleaded in a desperate tone.

The man tutted loudly, a deep sigh leaving his lips. “Now, now. There are a lot  of things I want” He paused dramatically for a moment before continuing. “You. for instance” He murmured lowly and a shiver went down your spine at his words. “But, not yet-” 

You swallowed thickly around the lump in your throat, you gaze frantically shifting around your room. “Just…” You began speaking. “Leave me alone. Please”

Another dark chuckle followed your plea. “But, baby, I’m enjoying this way too much” You almost gagged at the pet name he used and your grip tightened around your phone. “And you will, too. In time” He said in a taunting tone. “Right now, you’re scared, sad, lonely…and alone” 

Your whole body went rigid and all you could do was breathe heavily in and out your nose. “Not for long. Don’t worry, darling” He all but murmured into the microphone of his phone. “I’m coming” 

Those words were the last thing you heard before the line cut off, signalling the end of the phone-call. You blinked multiple times, standing still for another moment or two before you turned around frantically, rushing out the bedroom and almost aimlessly going around the apartment as your chest started feeling tight.

Finally, you stopped in front of the dresser in the hallway and grabbed your car keys with a trembling hand. You took fast, big steps towards the chair you had been sitting on minutes before, your finger grasping the fabric of your sweater before pulling it on and striding towards your front door. Your phone slipped into your pocket and you hurriedly put on your shoes. 

Your heart was thudding hard and loudly against your ribcage and with every breath you took it felt like it might be the last. You placed your hand on the door handle, hesitantly pushing it down before slowly pulling it open. You peaked your head out the barely open door, looking side to side in the hallway before letting out a shaky breath of relief when you saw nobody and heard silence.

You opened the door wider and stepped out of your apartment, your shoes thudding loudly against the newly renovated floor of the apartment building’s hallway, the sound echoing a little. You pulled the door shut behind you and turned around, locking it. You took another deep breath before pocketing your keys and taking hesitant but swift steps down the hallway.

Soon you were in the garage, anxiously glancing around as you took big steps towards your car in the far end of the building. Your hands were held in front of your torso, one grasping the other tightly. Your heartbeat echoed loudly in your ears, just as your ragged breaths did through the empty garage-considering the time-. 

You were just about a few metres from your car when a loud bang echoed through the building, somewhere behind you. You turned around fast, eyes wide and heart beating in your throat as you eyes darted all over the place.  The faint sound of footsteps approaching echoed and your heart almost jumped right out of your chest.

You didn’t think, you just swiftly turned back around, and ran to your car. You unlocked it and opened the door as the sound of the footsteps grew closer and heavier. Your hand shook as you placed the key to the ignition hole and twisted it before the same hand flew to the shift gear, gripping it and moving it. Your other hand pulled the door shut and moved to the steering wheel. Your foot stepped on the gas pedal hard and in a fast single motion your car flew towards the exit, tires screeching as you took the turn out onto the street before the car sped down the road.

It was only when you finally stopped at a red light that your heart rate slowed and your breathing became less ragged. You leaned your head back against the headrest and let out a shaky breath, shutting your eyes for a second.

You swallowed harshly before opening your eyes again, straightening up and placing both hands on the wheel, watching as the light turned green before you began driving again. 

You didn’t know exactly where you were heading. You didn’t really care either. You just wanted to get away. Fast. So, did it surprise you when you ended up at Billie’s place? Kinda. Not really. After all, she's always been your safe place. A shoulder you could cry on. A pair of arms that would hold you close until your body stopped shaking in sync with your rough sobs.

Not anymore though. You’re not hers anymore. Not hers to hold. Not hers to comfort. You simply weren’t her problem anymore. And you didn’t know if rightfully so, but it hurt. So much. 

But there were other things right now that you felt. Things that overpowered the feeling of hurt and guilt you felt whenever she was near you. Fear. A gnawing feeling of overwhelming fear and panic. You didn’t know if he was there earlier. You didn’t want to. And who knows, maybe he was, and he followed you here. And now not only were you in danger but so was the woman you loved with all your being.

Nevertheless, your car came to a halting stop by her home. You looked out the car window and a sigh left your lips when a couple of rain drops made the image of the house blurry. Your hand was placed on the key, and you twisted it once more, pulling it out as the dull rumble of your car’s engine stopped. Your bottom lip was tucked between your teeth as you gathered yourself before your hand reached for the door handle, pulling it and pushing the door open. 

Immediately, as soon as you stepped out of the car, the now pouring rain drenched you. A shiver ran down your spine and you shut the door before locking the car once more. 

A lump formed in your throat as you turned, glancing at the familiar house in front of you. The lights were on in the living room and you couldn’t help but let out a breath of relief. You took fast steps up the sidewalk then you approached the porch. Now, you stood in front of that door. Like you did so many times before. Of course, this was different. Because as your hand lifted, fingers tucked against your palm tightly and your thumb squeezed between them, ready to knock, suddenly you couldn’t.

It just didn’t feel right.

Maybe it was a horrible idea. Shit. What if he did follow you? No. No. You couldn’t be the reason Billie-...

Just as your fist dropped to your side again and your body turned to the side, the door swung open and you looked up with wide eyes. And you saw those blue eyes staring back at you, filled with confusion and a tinge of concern. Her brows were once again knitted together, a frown on her face. 

You felt a raindrop run down your face as you turned, it felt like hours until the silence was broken. Her voice was just a little louder than the thudding of the rain against the roof of the porch.

“What are you doing here?” 

The softness of her voice almost made you break down right then and there. You cleared your throat, suddenly finding your reasoning ridiculous and cowardly. You stayed quiet for a moment longer before the words formed  in your brain and came out of your mouth. 

“I-…He called me”

When the words left your lips, Billie’s heart rate sped up. A lump formed in her throat and she acted fast. “Alright. Alright. Come in” She grasped your arm gently, her fingers -now ringless- wrapping around you in an almost timid way. She pulled you inside and wordlessly shut the door behind you. Swallowing hard around the lump in her throat before she cleared it. She took in your drenched form and a shaky sigh left her lips.

“Uh, I’ll get you some clothes…” She said slowly, the awkward atmosphere suddenly overwhelming her. “You-...you can take a shower.” 

You nodded and looked down beneath yourself, seeing the small pool of water around your shoes. “Yeah. Okay” The words were muttered silently and you hesitantly pushed off your shoes and began walking to the bathroom. When you arrived, you gently pushed the door open and stepped in, closing it behind yourself.

Billie’s eyes followed you as you took cautious steps towards her bathroom. When you disappeared out of her sight, she huffed and inhaled deeply. Then turned around and locked the front door in a swift movement.

Soon she was rummaging through her closet, searching for something for you to wear. In all honesty, you would happily wear anything she owned just to feel that comforting scent around you again even if just by wearing her clothes.  

Billie’s hand ploddingly halted on one of her big T-shirts and she lifted it carefully, her breath catching in her throat when she looked at the article of clothing. Honestly, it wouldn’t have been anything special but, the way her mind almost immediately took her back to the numerous times you had worn this shirt of hers. It was a simple grey T-shirt with a small symbol on the left side of the chest area. 

Billie gently placed the T-shirt on the bed behind her after shaking the thoughts out of her head and she turned back to the closet, now going through  her pairs of pants. It didn’t take long before she settled on a pair of soft material blue baggy jeans and placed the folded clothing next to the T-shirt on the bed. 

She decided you would need something for your bare foot, too and just simply placed a pair of socks next to the already laid out clothes. Then she closed the doors of her closet and when she turned around, her eyes were set on you. And her heart leapt into her throat as she took you in, standing there, just in a white towel around your body.

Your eyes shifted towards the bed slowly, a pang making your chest tighter when you see the grey T-shirt layed out on it. You heard Billie clear her throat and you gaze went back to her, watching as her hand flew up and rubbed the back of her head.

"Uh, you can change into those." She began, her eyes now burning holes into the wall next to you. "I'm gonna be in the living room" She walked to the door where you stood. You nodded your head silently and stepped inside.

You heard her footsteps disappear down the corridor and a soft sigh escaped your lips as you tilted you head back.

Your thoughts raced as you sat down on the bed. The mattress under you so soft and comfortable. The memories which came flooding back made your heart ache. You felt like you couldn't breathe for a second and it just got worse when you once more cast you gaze down at the clothes laid out next to you.

Tears brimmed your eyes but you blinked them away. God, you missed this. Seeing her. Wearing her clothes. Being with her. In this house. Home.

A shaky hand reached out and picked up the T-shirt, holding it up in front of you. You let out a shaky exhale before dropping the clothing on your lap and unwrapping the white towel from around your body. You quickly slipped the T-shirt on, it's sleeves reaching down to your elbows and the end of it bunching up a little around your hips.

Then you stood and slipped on the baggy jeans, too, pulling it up to your waist before buttoning it and putting on the pair of socks. When you were done, you turned and took a look at yourself in the mirror.

You hated this. You hated this because you looked like hers again. Looked like nothing ever happened. Like there wasn't a man out there, waiting for you to be alone. Her scent developing you like it has so many times before. It was so comforting, making your breath calm and your heart rate slow down.

You felt your eyes burn with unshed tears once more and you squeezed them shut for a moment.

It was so wrong. You shouldn't feel like this right now. Like you were hers. You weren't. She's just a good person. That's all there was to it.

You exhale loudly and open your eyes once more, not letting your gaze fall into the mirror in front of you, instead turning your body and beginning to walk out of the bedroom.

You made your way towards Billie’s living room, looking around the corridor. Pictures of Billie at various events or with her family adorned the walls, but you noticed a couple clearer spots in between them, like there had been pictures there, too, previously but it had been taken down.  And you knew. Of course you did, after all it was so painfully obvious. Said pictures which Billie took down were of the two of you.

Your throat tightened up and you struggled to breathe for a long moment before you took a deep breath in through your nose and swallowed harshly. You continued making your way to the living room after.

When you arrived, you saw Billie looking out through the blinds, looking for something. Someone. You halted your footsteps with a tight, gnawing feeling of guilt in your chest. She shouldn’t have been in this situation.  She shouldn't have to be worried, anxious that there was someone out there, lurking and waiting for you. Or her.  But she was, and once again, you were to blame.

Billie’s head snapped back when she heard footsteps and let out a soft sigh when her eyes locked with yours. She let go of the blinds and turned around fully, taking in the sight of you in her clothes. Again. God, how she had missed this. You, coming over, sharing a wonderful evening with her and then getting comfortable on her sofa  in her clothes, watching some random teen show on Netflix. 

Billie cleared her throat and snapped her gaze away from you. “Uh…” She rubbed the back of her head, fingers tangling into her silky dark hair. “Would you like something to drink?” 

The awkward politeness of her question made you want to run out of there and never come back. “No, I’m good. Thanks” You managed to mutter out while your eyes darted all over the room nervously.

A small silent ‘alright’ left Billie’s mouth before she looked to the side and gestured towards the L-shaped sofa which was pushed against the wall. “You wanna sit?” 

“Sure”

The words abscond from your dry lips after a moment of hesitation and you turned, taking a couple steps towards the sofa and softly slumping down onto it. Billie followed suit, sitting down next to you at a respectful distance. Her shoulders were tense as she leaned back against the soft cushions. Your knee bounced up and down in an anxious and annoying manner, catching Billie’s attention. 

Her hand twitched with the instinct to reach out and put it on your knee to stop the nervous habit, but she didn’t. And maybe it was for the better anyway.

After a long minute of stillness, Billie spoke up. “Can you tell me what he told you?” 

Her words made your heart pick up its pace and you swallowed around the forming lump in your throat. You nodded reluctantly after a second. “Yeah” Your voice was a little hoarse and you shifted in your seat. “Well, uh he called me and just…I asked him what he wanted” You started, hearing the man’s words echo in the back of your mind. Billie tilted her head, brows knitted together while she waited for you to continue. “He said,” You cleared your throat. “There’s a lot of things he wants. For instance…me” 

An almost inaudible gasp slipped past Billie’s lips before she bit down on her lower lip. “He what?” Her words were harsh, her blood boiling. You cast your gaze down at the rug and exhaled. Billie’s head shook in disbelief. “A-...and then?”

You took a deep breath before continuing. “He told me that I-...” Your tongue darted out, moistening your dried lips. “I won’t be alone for long…and he was coming”

Billie exhaled loudly and brought a hand up to her face, her index finger and thumb pressing harshly against her temple. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments before she spoke. “Okay…” She started, swallowing hard. “Then you stay here and…we call the police” 

Your head turned to her at the mention of the police. “What? A…-and say what? There is no valid reason for them to actually do something” You argue, clearly -and understandably so- frustrated. “At least not permanently.”

Billie screwed her eyes shut and groaned, running the hand down her face and letting it fall against her thigh. “Then I don’t know! I-...” She took in a deep, ragged breath. “I’ll talk to someone, okay? Tomorrow. Until then, you stay here.”

Your eyes studied Billie’s expression and your jaw clenched before breathing out slowly. “Alright…” You softly nipped at the inside of your cheek for a moment. “Thanks” 

Billie’s expression softened and she nodded. “Of course. You’re welcome” 

Soon after, Billie offered for you  to spend the night in the guest bedroom of her house and you reluctantly agreed. So now, you stood by the door of the room, eyes watching Billie’s every movement as she set up the bed. Your thoughts were once more racing. What was going to happen after all this is over?  Were the two of you going to go back to being distant and awkward and just overall strangers? Would this whole thing ignite a spark of fire in the both of you, and the next thing you know you’re resting in her arms again every night? Will you just become friends? Gosh, the seas of questions and possibilities made your head pound and your breathing unsteady while you stood by the door with your arms folded over your chest, your fingers mindlessly fumbling with the soft material of the grey T-shirt.

“Are you okay?” 

The feeling of a warm touch on your arm made you snap out of your head and your eyes locked with Billie’s. You cleared your throat and glanced down at her hand on your arm for a moment before looking back up at her. “Yeah, uh…I’m good” 

Billie’s own eyes went to her hand resting on your arm, your skin soft against her palm and she swallowed harshly before taking her hand back and letting it rest by her side. She turned her head back into the room as she nodded. “The bed’s set up” 

You also nodded , a wave of disappointment flooding you when her touch no longer warmed up your skin. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah…” Billie turned back and ran her hand through her dark hair. “I’m going to bed now, alright?” When you nodded your head again and stepped aside, she slipped past you and stood in the corridor for a moment, her eyes burning holes into the wall, staring at one of those empty spots before she glanced down the hallway and to her own bedroom.  

“If you need anything just…come to me” 

Her voice was soft and just above a whisper and it felt like pure heaven to your ears before you replied. “Okay.” When you responded, Billie hesitantly turned and began walking down the corridor.

You didn’t wait until she was in front of her door, instead you went right into the guest bedroom and shut the door behind you.

When Billie heard the door shut, she turned around a little, her eyes looking at the now closed door with sadness in them before a sigh left her lips and she turned back, walking to her room and also shutting the door behind herself.

To be completely honest, neither of you got any sleep that night. Billie laid in her bed, under her blanket and stared at her ceiling. She was worried. Scared, if you may. But not for herself. She couldn’t care less about that right now. There was a pervy psycho out there, hunting you. Well to be fair if she did get involved, she possibly could also be a target. All Billie wanted to do was to hold you close and never let go again, keep you close to her, hug you tight and keep you safe in her arms. To Kiss you reassuringly before whispering to you that everything was going to be okay.

But she couldn’t. Because you simply weren’t hers anymore. She had no right to hold you that close, to kiss you until you felt safe again. The only thing she could do was keep you safe. And she was going to. Maybe even until she draws her last breath.

You were just about in the same situation as Billie. You laid on the guest bed which felt a little rough, uncomfortable due to the lack of times it’s been used. And you could feel just about every molecule of the damn blanket on top of you and it made you sweat and your heart beat fast in an incredibly intolerable way. Your ears picked up on every sound that came from outside on the  street, but it also didn’t quite reach your brain as it was clouded with overwhelming worry. Not for yourself, of course. All for Billie.

You didn’t get it. She was so insistent on you staying. She didn’t leave any room for argument after she suggested it for the first time. Even when you voiced your worries for her own safety. Why? Why? For what reason was it so important that you stay? For you, if it meant she’d be at least 5% safer, you’d have been out of there the moment she had pulled you inside from the pouring rain.

But, obviously, you didn’t. Not when she looked at you like that. Such sadness, worry and firmness etched onto her expression. So you stayed. And maybe, just maybe when or if the man would come, you’d be able to keep her safe. Out of reach for him. God, how you would just give your life for someone who possibly doesn’t even care like that anymore.  But to be fair, you couldn’t be more wrong about that.

In the morning, your restless sleep was interrupted by the sound of knocking on the guest bedroom’s wooden door. With a painful groan into the pillow, your aching body got up from the concrete-like mattress and walked to the door, opening it up. Billie stood in front of you, now in a different outfit than last night which was quite possibly her night wear. Now, she was wearing white long sleeved T-shirt with red running down from its shoulders and to the end of its sleeves which reached just about the middle of her hands. A pair of baggy men’s shorts, its checked  bottom hems reaching just past her knees and there was a small distance of skin between the shorts and the socks that were pulled up high. When your eyes went up again, noticing the red and black cap resting on her head, your eyes locked with her blue ones and you felt heat creep up your neck when you realised you’ve just checked her out.

Billie cleared her throat and nervously adjusted the thin,  frameless glasses which sat on the bridge of her nose. “Hi.” Was all that came out of her mouth as she felt her own face heating. “I uh…did I wake you?” Okay, stupid question.

You shifted your weight from one leg to another and glanced back at the bed you’ve been laying on before looking back at Billie. “Oh, yeah. But it’s fine. I wasn’t exactly having a great time in my head” You tried to joke but when Billie’s expression softened your jaw clenched and you cast your gaze down. “What’s up?”

“I was just coming to tell you that uh,” Billie tapped her now once more, ring covered fingers against the side of her thigh. “I was called in for some work so…” 

You looked up again and nodded, folding your arms over your chest. “Oh. Okay” 

“I was thinking you could tag along” 

At her suggestion, your brows furrowed and you hesitantly shook your head. “I-...I just don’t think that’s a good idea.” You struggled to voice your thoughts. “You know, the crowd” You muttered.

Billie inhaled sharply and nodded, shutting her eyes tightly for only a second before they met yours once again. “Right. Of course,” she nodded. “Sorry”

You bit down on your tongue harshly and swallowed hard. “I’ll just stay here” Billie nodded her head to your statement with a soft sigh. 

“Yeah, good idea.” She took one last look at you before turning to the side. “I’ll be going then. I should only take a couple hours.” Her expression softened again and her hand itched to reach out. To take you in her arms and hug you goodbye. Maybe plant a kiss on your soft lips before walking away. “Call me if anything weird happens, alright?” 

“Yeah. Okay. I will” 

With those words of affirmation, she took a deep breath and walked down the hallway, turning and walking towards the front door. She slipped on her shoes and took her car keys before stepping out of the house with a heavy heart and a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.

–

Remember the words; ‘couple hours’? Yeah well, now it was 6PM and all you got was an; ‘hey, sorry I might be a little late. Lock the doors please’ from Billie. Your throat tightened up at the thought of being alone for so long. That message was 3 hours ago and now you were in Billie’s kitchen, having tried to eat something but the uneasy feeling in your gut pushed it all back right up so now you’re just leaning against the counter with your back to the entrance of the kitchen.

Something just didn’t feel right. And suddenly, you felt like you should’ve gone with Billie to the studio.

 Or wherever it was she needed to go.

As you were dwelling in your thoughts of worry and uneasiness, you didn’t pay much attention to your surroundings. So, you didn’t even bat an eye when footsteps echoed down the hallways, growing closer and closer at a tauntingly slow pace. You could only feel the uneasiness grow and you shook your head in hopes of just letting it go, but you didn’t, not when suddenly you felt a presence close.  Your body tensed suddenly and your eyes widened.

You hesitantly turn your body to the side and your heart jumps into your throat when you see someone. You couldn't see his face, there was this weird mask-like thing on his face. Then, you heard that disgusting chuckle rumble through his chest and you backed up as you shook your head. 

“Hey, baby”  

You swallowed hard as tears of fear welled in your eyes. You heard a quiet scoff leave his lips before he began taking large steps towards you. “Oh, are you not happy to see me?” His head tilted to the side and you just stood against the kitchen counter, frozen in place. The man exhaled loudly and tutted. “I thought I told you I was coming…why are you so surprised?” 

Your breathing grew heavy and fast. “No…what do you want from me?” You pleaded out in a broken voice and the man now full on laughed before stepping close to you. 

“You. Of course…” 

Your head shook side to side rapidly and you tried to step away but when you felt the feeling of something cold and metallic against your midsection through your shirt your head shot down, the edge of the sharp knife glistening back at you as the kitchen lights hit it just right. 

“It wasn’t a fucking question” He practically growled out into your face. “Not after you came here” He scoffed and took his gaze off you, looking around. “To that bitch’s house. Have you learned nothing, little girl?” He looked back at you and you could see the anger flaring in his dark eyes, you let out a whimper when the point of the knife pressed into you harder. 

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry”  Tears fell on your cheek as you begged. “Don’t hurt her, don’t-...”

“Shut the fuck up!” You flinched and nodded, heart thudding loudly against your chest. “Whether I hurt anyone or not…will simply depend on your decision, baby” His voice was once more low and somewhat calm when he spoke. “But whether I have to force you or not, you’re mine. Not hers. You understand?” 

When you felt the tip of the knife press against your flesh through your shirt, piercing it, you whimpered again and nodded. The man chuckled again and nodded. “Good. Good. Such a good girl, aren’t you?” You grew nauseous at his words and you swallowed down your sobs.

“So,” He began speaking after a couple moments of listening to your helpless sobs with a satisfied grin behind the mask-like thing on his face. You felt his free hand wrap around your forearm, holding it tightly. “You’re gonna come with me…without as much as a squeak” 

You were about to nod when both of your attention was drawn to the sound of an engine rumbling lowly and lights shone through the window as Billie’s car parked in the driveway. Your eyes widened and the man almost growled out. When his grip loosened and he took a step away from you, your whole body was trembling as you saw him move towards the front door which Billie was no doubt approaching.

No. No. No. No.

You didn’t think. Your body moved on its own and leapt forward, pushing the man into the counter. He let out a low groan before looking at you. “The fuck. Oh you wanna be disobedient?” He asked angrily before stepping towards you. Your heartbeat in your ears as you shook your head and sobbed, taking a step back before fleeing towards the living room.

The man didn’t waste a second and ran after you, and you didn’t get far before he tackled you and you were pushed face down onto the cold floor. You cried out when you felt your nose crack and blood almost immediately gushed out. The man swiftly turned you around as he got on top of you.

“Oh would you look at that?” He chuckled lowly. “I always knew you’d look even sexier with blood all over you” His thumb gathered some of the blood from your chin then put it against your trembling lips. “Come on” He muttered and you shook your head, tears mixing with the blood on your chin. He scoffed and forced his thumb into your mouth, harshly gripping your jaw and bringing your face up. 

“Any moment, that little pop star of yours will walk in…”  He whispered against your face. “And I will be long gone. But don1t worry. Not for long” He chuckled and pushed your face down roughly. Then you watched with blurry vision as he brought the knife up with his other hand and traced it on your side. “This is just for good measure, baby…this way she’ll know you’re mine” He growled before you felt the knife being brought down against your side, plunging inside fast and your vision blurred more as you screamed out in agony. The skin around the knife burned when he kept it in for a few seconds before pulling it out and you felt the as it was pulled out of your flesh, a disgustingly slushy sound leaving the wound as blood immediately poured and gushed out. 

The last thing you felt was his weight lifting off of you while you laid there. You didn’t see where he went. Then you heard the front door slam and hurried footsteps approach before a loud voice shouted. 

“Oh my God”

✒ a/n: oof...it got a little dark there. Anyway, the way 'Guess' ft. Billie has been on repeating on spotify is honestly unhealthy (i don't regret anything) Ahh the ending is so rushed. so sorry guys 🙏

➥ part III.

[babeilovemonsters]

You found it completely on accident. It was a mild day, with clouds covering the sky, but the air uncomfortably sticky with warmth. You soon regretted leaving the house, but c'mon, who isn't going to go on a spending spree once they get paid? So you sucked it up, put on what was at least comfortable, even in this weather, and left to splurge.

The town selection was nothing interesting. Rather depressing, actually. Not much caught your eye, and in all honesty, you probably spent more money on drinks throughout the day rather than treats for yourself. But when you finally reached the end of town, you found a new store. A curio store. Your excitement was barely contained. Not just a new store to look in, but one full of useless yet entertaining junk? Oh hell yes!

You entered the store, getting hit in the face by the overwhelming scent of dust. The clerk seemed friendly enough, cheerily greeting you as you wandered in aimlessly. The items in that store were beyond curious. Chocolate cocks and clits, giant lava lamps, glass sex toys on the shelves, taxidermy mice positioned in day to day jobs, lighters and antique knives locked behind a glass cupboard door, you found every corner had something to behold. But one lone barrel caught your attention, on account of it looking so out of place, even in a store as curious as this one.

Unable to shake away your interest, you wandered to the barrel, gently coaxing off the lid to peer inside. To your surprise, it was filled to the brim with a soft pink slime. Against your better judgement, you slid one finger into the substance. It felt... warm. Unnaturally so, like the inside of someone's mouth. You could've sworn you just felt the slime shudder as you did that...

You eventually made your rounds. Grabbing some candy genitals as a gag for your friends, of course, and a rainbow lava lamp that would really brighten up your room. But at the counter, you found yourself asking the clerk about the barrel of slime. She shrugged dismissively, saying it had stayed with her for a while, but that it wasn't her cup of tea. Perhaps it was the curiosity of the lifelike texture, or the simple nostalgia from childhood, but you impulsively decided to purchase the slime barrel. After all, at only $5, what's there to lose?

It was delivered by the clerk a few days later, in the store's branded van. You had forgotten about it, honestly. Unsure what to do with this completely bizarre purchase that you kind of regretted making, you just left it in the living room, hoping inspiration would strike. And it would.

That night, in your sleep, you dreamt of warm, soft jelly. Swimming in it, relaxing in it, under a hot sun. All your worries seemed so far... Although this jelly was getting quite sticky. In fact, that was a very convincing feeling. You awoke soon after, only to find that hot sticky feeling was still there, as the pink slime was coating your legs, two holes fashioned in a lump that was resting on your knee. Hang on, did those holes just... blink? You shrieked, wondering how it possibly could've gotten there, when your own question was soon answered, as the substance moved away all on it's own, retracting itself from you and clumsily dropping into a pile on your floor.

It began to stretch and mold upwards, taking on a wonky but undeniable humanoid shape, with those holes forming in the head just like eyes. Before you could scream, it uttered a quiet, soft apology, panic in it's own voice. You stopped your little freakout, processing the talking slime creature before you. It apologised again for waking you up, and for scaring you, stumbling back a bit as it struggled to keep it's balance. You quickly dismissed the apology, no longer threatened, now just curious. You questioned what it was, and it was honest, stating that it didn't exactly know. It admitted it was lonely, and tried desperately to gain the affection of the store clerk, only to find she had no interest in it's friendship.

You offered your own hand to it, jumping at the opportunity to gain the affection of a monster. How often does this opportunity arise? In excitement, the slime creature forgot it's boundaries, wrapping it's weighted, soft arms around you, it's warm body almost blending into yours. It was a weird, but incredible sensation, like a hot bath after a stressful day... In fact, it was quite cold that evening, right? Yeah. Definitely. This feeling should last longer. This new companion could keep you nice and warm in the night. You requested it's company, and while surprised, it accepted, just happy to have someone glad in it's presence.

You laid back down into your pillows as the creature slowly and calmly enveloped you, like a weighted blanket. You sighed in comfort, easing back into sleep, when a hot flush suddenly waved over you. A bit of slime had accidentally drooled down in between your legs, lightly brushing your most sensitive area. That's fine, you thought, you'd just move slightly and-- oh that made it worse. More slime slid between your thighs, intensifying that tickling hot feeling down below. You couldn't help but gasp in pleasure, stopping the creature as it tried to move away. You reassured it that you weren't uncomfortable, and invited it to actually keep doing this.

Confused yet not deterred, the slime did whatever it took to please it's new master, sliding a thick mound of hot slime all the way down to your hole, lightly teasing it as you internally pleaded for more. It stopped after one stroke, so you clarified your wants, saying that feeling had to continue, if the monster was comfortable. The slime quickly caught on to what it was supposed to, and rippled continuously over your genitals, giving a wonderful wavy sensation that pleasured your entire waist at once. You pushed down into it, moaning at last when a slight bit went through your clothes and into your hole.

Quick to catch on, yet not ceasing to stop the rippling at the same time, the creature pushed more slime into your hole, relishing in your sounds of pleasure. Almost using your internal walls like a mold for it's staff's shape, it began sliding in and out, slow at first, but ever faster, increasing in speed slightly with every whine and grunt of pleasure. It opened another hole in itself, this time over your own member, and enveloped it, rippling and stroking over it to hit every spot you delighted over, while sprouting another slimey limb to carefully and gently slide into your mouth. It was hot on your tongue, and tasted not like any factory manufactured toy slime, but instead of sweet, sweet flesh. Like the taste of licking cream off another human's body. The slime sliding across your taste buds only made you hornier and hornier, as you quickly realised it was an aphrodisiac.

Eventually, it all got too much, and you finally finished in a blaze of glory, mixing your own fluids with the creature's unique body.

You would always be a part of this creature now as your liquids added to it's mass. Every time you and your beloved slime embraced one another, it got bigger and bigger from the added material, even if only by a couple of inches each time. But even just those few inches isn't saying much when it's a constant stream, so keep up your stamina, because the bigger the slime gets, the more mass it has to cover you.

[leviathanlazarus]

In Your Fantasy

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x (F) Reader

Word Count: ~5300

Warnings: semi-public sex (like...very low-key), oral sex (F receiving), unprotected PIV sex. 18+ only ~

This took me forever to finish because I started it before my stupid tonsillectomy and I was totally useless throughout most of the recovery. Also, it's been absolutely ages since I wrote a Jake x Reader fic so I'm not sure how I feel about it...I really enjoyed writing this regardless of my trepidation though. I loved the idea of falling in love with him at work and him being so cheeky...hope you enjoy it too <3

P.S. also ages ago, I wrote a Josh x Reader fic that also took place in a library which you can read here. Links on my desktop masterlist aren't active for some reason...but I found it using a certain tag lmao. If you know, you know.

---

You were finishing up fixing the order of some art books in the back of the library when you felt Jake come up behind you. “Wanna hear something kind of crazy?” he whispered in your ear, his chin nearly on your shoulder, his hair brushing against yours. Without even seeing him, the closeness and warmth of his body and the low, husky whisper sent a tingle up your spine–he certainly added a level of intrigue to working in a library. 

“Always,” you said, slipping the last book into the correct spot. It was a quiet Thursday afternoon–you’d thought it’d actually be busier given the rain that kept bucketing down outside, creating an even cozier atmosphere, but maybe people just wanted to stay home with their books instead. That was fine by you. You liked it when it was nearly dead silent throughout the building and Jake was there to occasionally break through, his voice a river through your thoughts and his subtle touches all shockwaves to your heart. 

When you turned around to face him, Jake looked like he was holding back a hilarious joke or something, eyes all eager and a grin tight on his lips like he was bursting at the seams. “So I just went to the bathroom and guess what I heard?” he went on, raising his eyebrows. 

You scrunched up your nose, already worried. This wasn’t what you were expecting when he’d said ‘something crazy.’ What sort of craziness happened in libraries anyway? “There are a lot of things I can think of. Is this a gross story?”

Jake chuckled. “It depends on your definition of ‘gross.’ Okay,” he said, looking around to make sure you two were still alone in the section. Then he looked into your eyes again and lowered his voice even more to tell you, “There were people fucking in there.” 

You scoffed, offended on behalf of the library–the sacred, beautiful space where people went to relax and read, not deal with lewd conduct. That wasn’t crazy, that was just offensive! “What, like two guys?” you questioned, tilting your head, a little irked at Jake finding this all so funny. 

“No, a guy and a girl.”

“Ugh. That’s even worse. Women shouldn’t have to deal with getting laid in a men’s bathroom,” you said, then were momentarily distracting yourself with yet another out of place book on the shelf.  “I’d never do that. I can’t believe someone else is. I mean, kids go here.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Jake said slowly. He leaned against the bookshelf and looked at you pointedly, his dark eyes even darker in the dim light. “Then again–”

Before he could finish, you had another thought. “Wait, Jake–did you say anything to them?”

“No. What could I say? I just high-tailed it out of there as soon as I heard.”

You sighed. The whole thing would be far more redeemable if your boyfriend had at least tried to throw out some warning words to the perpetrators. “You should have told them to stop. I would have.”

“I’m sure they finished soon after I left.” He smirked. “It sounded like they were pretty close.”

You groaned quietly and turned away, preferring to find another thing to busy yourself with now. “Gross. They should be banned.”

Jake followed along right at your side as you whisked through the rest of the art section and back to the cart you needed to empty. “I didn’t see who they were, so no chance of that.” At the cart, he put his hands on it, keeping it in place. “I actually thought you’d find it sort of amusing, Y/N.”

You leaned over, almost close enough to touch your noses together. “You’re such a guy. Only a guy would think it’s amusing and not disgusting.” 

“I don’t know about that. Maybe you’re just a little stuffy,” Jake replied, tilting his head up as if he were challenging you. “Although maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, considering we’ve never done anything like that.”

You scoffed again and leaned back, surprised and still a little irritated, but also genuinely curious. “Oh, so you want to fuck around in a public place? That’s something I didn’t know about you.”

Jake’s challenging stance turned crestfallen, and he lifted one of your hands to press a kiss to. “Forget I said anything about it. I mean, I suppose you’re right–it is kind of gross.” He kept your hand clasped in his for a few seconds as he said, “But I’d never make love to you in a public bathroom. I’d hope you know me better than that.”

You looked over your shoulder at the sound of a man clearing his throat, settling down into a chair with a newspaper. He wasn’t paying any attention to you or Jake, but you gave the cart a push anyway, cajoling Jake off it so you could navigate to where you needed to go next. 

“It’s really the fact that it’s the bathroom that makes it so gross,” you whispered as Jake kept following you. You couldn’t deny you’d had some secret fantasies about getting it on in the library–after all, it was where you and Jake had met and where you continued to spend the most time together. But none of your fantasies included the restrooms in the hall, or the utility closet or that little corridor tucked away across from the restrooms where the vending machines were. Too grody, too cramped, too obvious.

“At least our bathrooms are clean.” Jake parked himself right next to you once you were in the biography section, and when you stepped away from the cart, he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you in place. “But if I’m being really honest, I have thought about us, well, fooling around here. I think it’s quite surprising we never have.”

“Jake,” you said in an attempt to protest, but his sweet, pretty face and ticklish touch on your waist made you giggle, and his confession that echoed your own secret thoughts lit a little spark. “We work here!” 

“So? All the more reason. It’s always been our special place.” Jake smiled as he got even closer to kiss you; you kissed him back, looping your arms over his shoulders. He was smiling even bigger when you both broke away and he said, “You know, it’s just me closing tonight. You should stay after with me.”

“God, and do what?” you replied, but, despite yourself, you were growing more intrigued. 

“Well, don’t you think the study rooms here are nice and cozy?” Jake questioned, still latching himself to your side as you started to put more books away. “There aren’t any cameras in any of them either. No one would know.”

You looked up at him from your crouched position, sliding a book into place. “Someone would know. Someone would find out somehow.” You were quickly finding even more perfectly good reasons in your mind not to do this, to not even really toy with the idea, but the more you thought about it, the more you thought, why not? Could the risk make it more fun? Even just the new, ill-fitting, sort of scandalous environment? 

Besides, Jake really did look hot today. He looked hot every day, but the second you’d seen him after he’d come into work earlier, he’d lit a fire in your belly that was more intense than usual. His hair had the perfect level of slight messiness and the relaxed black button-down shirt was perhaps one or two buttons shy of being overtly inappropriate for work; the smooth tan skin of his chest exposed and acting as a lovely backdrop to the long silver chain dangling, the pendant hitting his sternum. You could imagine tugging on that chain, grasping the pendant in your palm, to pull him closer while he pressed you against one of those thick wooden tables. You’d run your fingers through his hair and kiss him in the frozen silence, and maybe no one would ever know after all.

“I can practically hear the wheels turning,” Jake remarked, tapping your forehead once you were standing again. “You know you want to.” 

You let out an inadvertent nervous giggle and rolled your eyes. “Yes, I’m thinking about it.”

Jake stepped closer, pressing you back against the cart of books. “I’d love to hear some of those thoughts,” he said, putting his hands on your waist.

“You’re lucky it’s dead here today,” you said, keeping your voice a whisper despite the, indeed, dead library around you. You rested your arms over his shoulders, twisting a strand of his hair between your fingers; Jake just kept looking at you with that sweet, silently begging gaze until you giggled, relenting. “Okay. I was, um…thinking about you pushing me down on one of those big tables.”

Jake’s eyebrows rose. “What else?”

“Well…” you began, looking down at his dark jeans rubbing against your skirt. “You’re giving me some more ideas now.” You lifted one foot off the floor to rub your calf over his, the delicate material of your tights creating subtle but scintillating friction against his denim. 

Jake ran the tip of his nose up your cheek and whispered in your ear, “Same here.” 

Just as you were closing your eyes and allowing yourself to let your environment fall away around you, to forget about all the risk of being caught right there, and just as Jake’s hand was sliding down between your legs, a person’s incredibly soft–thanks to the clever carpeting job–footsteps headed your way yanked you right out of the moment.

Jake, too. He shot back and cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair and looked in the direction of the footsteps; you did too, and soon enough an older woman with her nose already in an open book trotted past the shelves. 

“See?” you whispered, gesturing at the passer-by who was already out of view. “It’s so easy to get caught.”

“Please, that lady didn’t notice a thing. Alright,” Jake said before he stole one last hurried kiss. “I should let you keep doing your job and I should carry on with mine. But will you stay after with me tonight?”

You pursed your lips as you looked at him, considering, but it wasn’t long before you said, “Alright, Jake. I’ll stay after and we can play out your little fantasy.”

“It’s your fantasy too, baby doll,” Jake said with a wink before he half-turned, beginning to step away. “I think we’ve established that.”

-

There wasn’t a whole lot to keep your mind occupied as the afternoon carried on. The rain kept coming down, hammering hard against the roof and windows, and the sky outside was pure gray, all flat and blank. It reminded you of your first day working here, as a matter of fact–that morning in the previous late October, when autumn’s chill was officially in the air. A fine layer of frost had even been on the ground that morning; your shoes had crunched over it on the short walk to your car and you’d had to use your defroster once you turned the key, your anxiety peaking as you had to wait even longer to start the new job. 

How could such a quiet, peaceful place encite so much anxiety anyway? You remembered wondering that very question as you walked over the sidewalk to the library entrance for the first time since being hired, the concrete slick with that morning frost and the beginnings of a gentle rainfall. And just when you’d been settling in and getting comfortable, Jake had showed up and introduced himself, all casual and easy like he didn’t know he was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen.

Thankfully, Jake was also the sweetest man you’d ever met. It didn’t take long before his beauty and charm stopped intimidating you and instead just made you feel all light and full of joy–you were simply happy to chat with him whenever you both could spare a few minutes. Those few minutes steadily turned into shared breaks; then, shared lunches where you’d sit out back on the one picnic table when the weather permitted. Then he started bringing you special treats sometimes, things he knew you liked because he actually listened about what you liked, and then after that he started bringing you whole lunches packed with love and care that you’d never experienced before. 

So, after all that, was it really such a big deal to make love inside the place in which you fell in love?

None of your other coworkers even seemed to notice that you were staying later than planned this evening. But, just to be safe, you also made a point to hide out in the kid’s section when closing time crept up, busying yourself with cleaning up stray crayons and markers and then browsing through some of the newer picture book additions when you were done with that. 

When you were sliding one picture book back onto the shelf and reaching for another, you noticed the part of the library beyond the kid’s section dim; you stood up and walked out into the main area, and there Jake was behind the checkout counters flipping switches.

“Despite almost always being the one to close,” he said, flipping another switch. “I still sometimes forget which lights actually get turned off and which ones stay on.”

A path of yellow light led the way past the checkout and reception, past the few rows of public use desktop computers. Jake held your hand as you both stepped through the library, your heartbeat speeding up a bit with nervous yet delightful anticipation; a few more steps and you were further into the very back of the library, just about there. Four study rooms were staggered just beyond the teen reading section, two on the left and two on the right with a wall of windows in between. 

Jake opened the door to the last study room on the right. A large window was in there too, soaking in the deep sunset that was resting beyond the grass outside and the trees, and the mostly-bare branches of all the trees were throwing shadows across the library grounds. Then Jake flipped the light on, making it all disappear.

“Oh no,” you said, reaching behind him to flip it off again. “It’s sort of magical with the light off. Look at that sunset.”

Jake followed your gaze out the window to the wash of deep blue painted across the sky, nighttime so early in autumn that only a slight sliver of golden-orange remained just on the horizon. The rain had stopped a few minutes ago and had left a lingering mist on the ground, its faint haze trailing along just outside the windows–the whole scene was so much more peaceful than what was going on inside your head. You couldn’t shake the possibility of getting caught even though Jake was right about there being no cameras back here, and there was no one else around, not even any of the custodial staff, and not a soul out there in the fog. Just you and Jake in the little dark study room, his hand still warm around your own.

Your thoughts started to drift away, making space for your mind to comprehend the shadowed image of Jake before you as he gently turned you to face him. He smiled with the slightest bit of white teeth gleaming between his full lips, and you instinctively smiled back, pulled under his charm again. So, now effortlessly charmed and put at ease, you wrapped him in your arms and pulled him close, caressing his shoulder blade with one hand and the slight curve of his waist with the other as both of your smiles disappeared into a kiss. 

“You were making me crazy all day,” he remarked between the kisses that accelerated with both of your lips parted and the wet meeting of tongues. 

“Really? You kept it well-hidden.” Of course Jake did–you never doubted his affection and passion for you, but he kept everything so private. It was one of the many things you liked about him. You cupped the back of his head, sinking your fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp with your nails just the way he liked it, and kissed him again.

“God, your ass in this skirt,” Jake said, voice a little rough, and he reached down to grab you there. “The way your hips move.” He licked his bottom lip as he took a moment to just look at you, his eyes scanning your face. “So unbelievably pretty.”

You held the side of his face. “You are too, Jakey.” He really was, and even in the dark–perhaps especially in the dark, actually. The shadows enveloped him in even more mystery than normal, but you could still so plainly see the angles of his face and the smoothness of his skin in the faint, distant glow of the lingering sunset. Jake smiled at the sound of that little nickname coming from you, then disappeared as he pressed his lips to yours again and pushed you back against the table just like in your little fantasy. 

You felt the warmth of his hand travel around your hip then slide down over your skirt; you kissed him harder and spread your legs a little wider when his fingers skated effortlessly up your thigh over your tights. Jake purred against your mouth as he traced the seam of those tights, and subsequently the crotch of your panties beneath, with one fingertip, and your own hands hurried down his body with much less grace to squeeze his ass and feel the hardness between his legs as reciprocity. 

Before you could do much more than that, he was pushing your skirt up all the way with one hand and continuing to use the other to tease you. Your breath caught in your throat as you were finding yourself trying to stay silent despite the library being completely empty; Jake carried on with longer, deeper touches over the crotch of your panties and tights. The steady back and forth of his fingers over the two thin layers of fabric sent a delightful tingle of pleasure up your spine but you couldn’t forget his either–you kept that one hand of your own on his crotch too, gently squeezing his erection through his pants.

Jake huffed softly and kissed you again; you clutched his arm with your other hand, squeezing his bicep. Maybe other people didn’t mind getting caught–maybe there really was some sort of thrill to it. Maybe other people actually sometimes wanted others to witness their most intimate moments but you didn’t. You couldn’t imagine doing this with the lights on in the middle of the day, with the soft noises of people beyond the walls and the risk of someone catching a glimpse from opening the door or from outside the windows. You were perfectly happy with having Jake all to yourself in the shadowed little square study room, his skin so perfectly warm, his kiss so perfectly molded to yours.

“Was this part of your fantasy?” Jake questioned as he slowly sank to his knees, keeping your skirt bunched up over your hips with both hands now. But it was obvious what he was doing, so you took their place to keep it out of the way while his hands squeezed your thighs as he pressed his face between your legs.

The scant sharpness of his teeth over your crotch made you gasp. “Maybe,” you answered, thighs quivering against the table behind you.

“Oh, come on,” Jake beckoned, looking up at you with a sweet but slightly mischievous gaze, his eyebrows raised just enough to display teasing curiosity. 

“Seems like you already know,” you replied, stifling a giggle at him struggling to get your tights down from beneath your skirt. 

“I don’t know how you wear these things,” he remarked, which made you actually let out a laugh.

“Just rip them for fuck’s sake,” you instructed, eager now, already wet for him. “They’re not expensive.”

Jake didn’t hesitate. “If you insist,” he said as he grabbed a fistful of black nylon in each hand and ripped the tights right open, then quickly pulled your panties to the side next, giving you no time to think at all anymore. Whatever words your mind may have found merely turned to shaky breaths as you watched Jake’s face disappear between your legs again.

He gave a little hum just as he went straight in, the bridge of his nose rubbing up against your clit while he dove his tongue into your center like he really did want to eat up all the arousal that had been conjured up just for him. Your fingers found his hair again, knuckles curling to tug the long strands while your nails scratched his scalp again and he let out a little pleased sound, almost like a gratified laugh, and dug his own blunt nails into your inner thigh as he kept you spread open. 

One word finally emerged from your lips–Jake’s name, simply spoken in a soft tone as the ministration of his tongue and lips had you squirming and quivering even harder, your heels digging into the carpet below as you slightly struggled to stay upright. The repeated flicks of tongue over your clit disappeared for a brief moment, then slowed to one long drag of his tongue over your center just to start that quick pace again. Sighs and whimpers were dragged out of you with each lick; when Jake slipped two fingers in, the slow but easy stretch made you tremble and clench your fingers into his hair even harder.

“You’re so tight,” he commented when he pulled back just enough for you to look down again and see your own wetness glistening on his lips and chin. You could feel it too, how much tighter you were clenching around his fingers as he gently thrust them and teased, curling them and now rubbing your clit with his thumb.

“You’re so good,” you told him breathlessly, closing your eyes again when the sensations had you arching your back. You hissed and bit your lip when Jake’s mouth found you again, his tongue teasing your clit more while he slid his fingers in deeper.

You had thought it would take more of a conscious effort to relax in this space and just let go, but it was easy, so easy–you just let your body respond to Jake with each tremble and moan and gasp and tug at his hair until your legs were outright shaking. Panting, the peak rising deep inside, you pulled him closer and he obliged, sucking on your clit as his fingers curled and gently tugged deep inside you too as if he was literally trying to pull you right to the edge you were already rapidly careening to.

His name from your lips once more wasn’t a soft little sigh; it was a sharp, long whine that seemed to boom in the little study room. Your ferocity surprised you even more when the overstimulation came on so soon and you yanked his head back with one hand and shoved him away with the other, your hand gripping his shoulder. Panting, eyes still shut, you could feel how much wetter you were with his saliva and the rush of your orgasm, the fluid soaking your panties that were pulled to the side and even the very inside of your thighs. 

Jake pressing a kiss to your thigh made you look down but he was getting up on his feet now; your gaze followed the steady movement of his rise and then you were whisked away into blissful darkness again when he closed in and kissed you–close-lipped because he was so polite. But you parted yours and slid your tongue over his and gripped his waist tight for a moment before hastily getting those buttons on his shirt undone, fingers trailing all the way down to get his pants undone next. 

He tentatively pushed you back onto the table a bit more so your feet were off the floor, legs still spread wide around him and dangling when he pulled his pants and underwear down just enough to reveal that heated hardness. His cock leaked just a bit as he stroked it once, looking at you, and a blip of that old insecurity born from adoration and fascination stroked your brain, because Jake was just so beautiful and his beauty was so much more stark in contrast to the plain white walls behind him. 

“That was intense,” Jake said with a chuckle, leaning in to kiss you. You sighed against his lips as he slid the head of his cock all through your wet center, making a point to rub longer and harder over your clit. As he slid in, taking your breath away entirely, he sighed too and you watched his shoulders drop and his chest flush and he asked, so casually, “Is your fantasy being fulfilled?”

Even with the impact of Jake’s cock filling you so perfectly, you had to laugh. “You're a fantasy, Jake,” you told him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to bring him closer, to make the head of his cock hit so deep inside you that you gasped again as if you weren’t expecting the feeling. “What about–” You had to pause when Jake gave his first thrust. “What about your fantasy? This was all your idea.”

“It was a shared idea,” he reminded you with the cutest little smile. How could anyone be so sexy and adorable at the same time, especially during the actual act of sex, especially when that sex was taking place inside a public library? But he was, and you kept your eyes on him as he steadily sped up with his hips and his hands explored your body over your clothes, one squeezing your breast through your shirt and the other smoothing down your waist, your hip, traveling around your thigh.

“Oh god,” you chirped when Jake’s fingers made contact with your still-sensitive clit; but he was gentle, clearly deliberately being slow with the little circles he was making. With your arms still a loop around his shoulders, you sank your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and held him there for a minute before the soft pink of his chest became too tempting not to touch.

“Fuck yeah, that feels amazing,” Jake said in that deliciously hazy, husky voice after you slipped your hands past his open shirt to toy with his nipples. Bringing more attention to him put your lingering overstimulation in the background–you continued to tease with one hand while the other skated over the other side of his chest, feeling his warm, soft skin, up to his neck. You caressed him there, your fingers lightly touching the tender skin along his throat and then up to his ear, and Jake moaned softly and tilted his head to try and get more contact.

That was fine by you. You lightly scratched behind his ear like he was a cat and he sort of purred like one anyway, making you giggle; Jake giggled too and surged forward, picking up his pace as he whisked you away with another series of kisses that were deep but just sloppy enough for your mutual moans to be voiced. 

But, also to your surprise, Jake began to voice more thoughts between increasingly ragged breaths: “Remember when we first met?” he asked, his fingers over your clit sliding down to get slick again from your own arousal. “That was–fuck, that was such a good day.”

“It was,” you agreed, playing with one of his earrings as your other hand squeezed his pec. “I’m lucky I even got the job here. For a lot of reasons.” You stole another lingering kiss before adding, “You’re the biggest reason.”

Jake smiled. The sunset that had been just barely clinging to life when you’d both began was gone now–the only illumination was coming from a parking lot light that was too far away from the windows to see, but the pale yellow glow was scant enough to see that alluring, mystical beauty that your boyfriend possessed. Just looking at his face was enough to make you come again.

But Jake’s skilled fingers and the heat, weight and stretch of his cock still thrusting into you certainly helped. You buried your face against his neck now that you had access to all of him; a thick sob was muffled as you tightened and spasmed around him, and you heard him let out a quiet “wow” as the second orgasm rolled through you. 

His fingers on your clit, thankfully, moved away. He gripped your thigh again instead; his pace was now messy and fierce, and you had to fight to stay in place not only from the harsh movements and how the table you were sitting on was skidding a bit across the floor, but also from that second round of intense bodily excitement. 

“God,” you huffed, stifling another laugh. Apparently it didn't matter where you were–if you were with Jake, he just gave you the giggles. “You’re really going for it.”

Jake cradled the back of your head, messing with your hair a bit. “And I’m–hmm–almost there.”

You kissed him softly and sweetly, from his collarbone and up his neck to his ear. “Good boy,” you whispered there, giving his ear a nibble. Jake moaned wordlessly in response and gave one last deep, solid thrust that jostled you backwards and made the table creak, then he went slack over you, his whole upper body all loose and so hot that warmth was radiating through his shirt.

When Jake lifted his head, you leaned back and waved the back of your hand over your forehead with a silly “whew” motion; Jake laughed and nodded, then slowly pulled out. He collapsed forward again, resting his head on your chest, and you wrapped your arms around him once more. 

“Well, we’ve done it once. Do we ever need to do it again?” you asked, petting his back.

“Like, um, sex?” Jake asked, mumbling against your chest. “Or sex in the library?”

“In the library, duh,” you said with a chuckle, and kissed him when he lifted himself up and looked at you. 

“Where else should we do it?” Jake replied, his tone and little smile making it obvious he was kidding–finally. You were glad to have played out this little fantasy and do something new and a little risky, but you’d be even more glad to just go back to the way things were. Nothing wrong with a classic. 

“Our bed, definitely,” you said, and Jake smiled and nodded again; you began working on buttoning up his shirt. “Our couch. The floor. Maybe the shower.” 

“Maybe?”

“Last time we tried the shower, you nearly cracked your head open,” you reminded him, lifting a hand to cup his jaw. “And nearly broke your perfect teeth.”

Jake’s smile grew wider. “That would be terrible, wouldn’t it?”

“I’d never forgive that stupid shower.”

Jake patted his hands from your shoulders down the length of your body, stopping at your ankles. “Well, babe, we’re both in one piece now, aren’t we? Time to close up?”

“Definitely. The custodians are probably going to be here any minute.”

“Oh my.” Jake held your hand to bring you off the table. “That would have been quite the show for them.” 

“No more shows,” you said as you both put the finishing touches on getting yourselves decent before Jake opened the door. “I should be the only one looking at you when we fuck.”

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