#get some good mileage out of it y'know

[bbygirl-aemond]

just read chapter 10 of stormbreak *cue surprised pikachu*

[gunkreads]

(back to our regularly scheduled programming)

So I know I said I was about to read Leviathan Falls, but I had to put a hold on it at the library, so I grabbed Ten Arrows of Iron in the meantime.

Ten Arrows of Iron is the second book in the Grave of Empires trilogy by Sam Sykes. I read the first book, Seven Blades in Black, nearly a year ago now. It was... well, if you wanna read my review, you can search its title on my blog. Ten Arrows of Iron is preeeeetty much the same deal.

Before, I compared this story to Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames (one of my all-time favorites) by saying Seven Blades in Black had all the same things right with it as Kings, but more things wrong with it.

The world of this series is pretty compelling, with Sal, the protagonist, on a revenge quest the no-man's-land of a war between the militaries of the Empire (made of mages with a comically hackneyed array of powers) and the Revolution (Basically the Imperium of Man from Warhammer 40k). There's some wacky interdemensional shit going on in the way background, but the foreground stuff is basically "Sal has a haunted gun and a list of people to kill. She is mean, bad, funny, and in extraordinary pain with even more extraordinarily bad coping mechanisms."

These books, the Grave of Empires trilogy, are an exercise in non-restraint. Sykes lives and dies by the idea that every single line he writes should be fucking killer. He makes liberal use of paragraph breaks, italics, choppy sentences, and all-caps dialogue to this end (kind of like I do in these reviews!). You might be able to tell this just from that description, but these books can get BEYOND exhausting to read. Blah blah, "when every line is a showstopper, none of them are," blah blah.

However! If you let yourself melt into the narration, you can see it as both 1: characterizing the narrator (diegetic narration; Sal is telling another character her story) and 2: a thousand attempts at greatness with about a hundred successes. Sykes takes that 10% success rate and says "Fuck it! Good enough!" assuming that you'll also feel that way. As I believe the old crusties on this site say, "YMMV" (Your Mileage May Vary, for those of you who also didn't know what that meant).

Personally, I read these books in the same way I watch action comedy movies. They aren't high art. Are they constructed well? Yes. Are they changing my life? No, not at all.

Do I have a good time reading them? You fuckin betcha! They're oozing style in a way I don't see often. I've seen somewhere that Sykes created his setting inspired by old-school JRPGs; to this I say nay, this is Wacky West. Y'know how Sergio Leone basically said "Here's what a cowboy looks like!" and all of America went "Yeah we're cool with this, it's awesome!" Sam Sykes agreed with all of America on this and made Sal his Clint Eastwood. She's a cowboy through and through, in all the most ridiculous ways mythologized by classic American filmmakers.

Or... at least, she was in the first book. The second book cranks up the melodrama quite a lot. It's actually a very pleasant transition, with Sal having plenty of reason to become more emo and the difference coming out fairly smoothly. She's really questioning herself more in this book, which is saying something, but her narration does show wild swings in her belief that she's a bad person that are actually super interesting to read, but... possibly too deeply buried for some peoples' tastes. It's not that Sykes actually buries anything--he's about as subtle as, well, a zeppelin falling out of the sky--but because he's so blindingly hamfisted most of the time, any character or plot beat that's done normally feels like a little secret just for you.

I can't say I'd recommend these books outright, but I will say that if you're in for a couple 600+ page brain candy fantasy action comedies, these are pretty fuckin' stellar.

[formulatrash]

hi! if you don’t mind talking about it, how would you say being autistic has shaped you working in media/journalism? just curious bc we’re obvs all different, as are our traits, but i feel like a job in that area would be so at odds with my experience of my autism and i was wondering how you feel about it <3

been meaning to answer this for ages and then there's autism discourse (one of the worst five discourses) on twitter and I suddenly remembered about it.

as you say, everyone's experience and traits are different. and I didn't know I was autistic until I was in my late 20s, so have a particularly different experience of it. so, this is not 'how all autistic people would experience it' it's just like, how I find it.

I'd also say there is an extremely high prevalence of neurodivergence in motorsport journalists. probably journalists generally but particularly motorsport. but mileage varies across all of that, of course.

things that make it hard: I struggle with, for instance, asking visibly upset drivers for interviews. it makes me feel sick with empathy (it's not true autistic people don't have empathy, we often have too much) - but I don't think that's a bad thing. tbh I think there's too much emphasis on trying to be hard on interview subjects and it's like, what do you expect to get out of this?

conversely, I think it helps with interviewing drivers other people can't. I get interviews other people don't and there's people who'll talk to me when they won't talk to others. so, that's a mixed bag.

it's difficult in terms of the job being social but honestly I don't know how much that's being autistic or being a woman. you get excluded from stuff a lot but I don't think that's because I'm not friendly or can't make friends. stuff like drinks receptions or whatever is difficult, especially in places where it's sensorily overwhelming but like, that is what it is and it's not technically a necessary part of on-the-clock work.

where it doesn't help, at all, is some social media stuff. I can get wound up and overwhelmed relatively easily and I find it hard to step away from things. meltdowns are just, well, meltdowns and I am chernobyl in that respect. it's not, y'know. dignified or acceptable and I've never worked out a balance of how to remove or protect myself from it; obviously being autistic doesn't mean you have meltdowns on twitter but for me it's definitely one of the things that I can't cope with as part of being autistic.

it also... I know I would be bad at TikTok because I don't smile and I'm not expressive. that sort of to-camera Insta story and TikTok stuff, I can't do and it frustrates me a bit because that seems to be the only way to get traction and it's also tied up with male journalists not having to do it and oh [pulls duvet over head]

anyway; other ways it helps are the travelling, for me. I know some autistic people would not have this experience and might find it overwhelming but I can memorise huge chunks of stuff, like airport layouts and maps of cities and use the puzzle-solving bit to figure stuff out even when I can't read a language. I'm an information sponge and can process it quickly - which can sometimes make situations overwhelming but so long as I'm travelling on my own I'm quite good at retreating into myself to deal with that. (I can't stand travelling with anyone who faffs around, it's the absolute worst. do or do not there is no faff)

I can grasp topics easily and complex stuff goes into my brain fast (and stays there) which is helpful for the tech stuff. some of that is that I am smart in that specific way (which is not the only way to be smart, obviously) so

I don't think my mental health is dogshit because I'm autistic, I think my mental health is dogshit because I have a laundry list of trauma that, honestly, it's quite impressive I operate despite of and try to be relatively kind to myself about, with mixed success. but sometimes it is also affected by being autistic; I can be very sensitive to things that other people don't think are anything and upset myself for days. sometimes, even though I am very highly trained to understand cues, I don't and then I'll misunderstand something and upset myself.

some things, like being nervous to email pitches - well, it's just cus emailing pitches is fucking scary as hell to everyone. a lot of stuff about motorsport journalism (or anything, frankly) is just scary and hard and complicated and it's the same for everyone. sometimes it helps that I have a ruthlessly efficient bit of my brain that deals with things like accreditation systems, sometimes it makes me feel like shit because I'm anxious and paranoid about what's been used from filming I've done and whether I missed obvious cues that they were going to fuck me over.

so: a mixed bag, I guess. and it would be different for everyone.

[radioconstructed]

Gal Pal'ing (9/1/2023)

Al sees that Valera (@autokrates) isn't feeling The Best and reaches out. The gal pals chat about parenting over food. It's very sweet. (More of a rundown than a formal chatlog. It's a cute insight into them interacting face-to-face.)

radioconstructed

Aww Al is happy to come over and chill with Valera and see how she's doing 💕

autokrates

Val is glad to have a friend like Al, good to have a girl friend to vibe with.

radioconstructed

Al doesn't want to pry, but if Val wants to talk or vent about what's up, Al is happy to listen!

Al is also like "as your friend I have to do this. Vital stat check reminders: drink / eat / sleep / shower / socialize. Do you need to do any and do you need help doing any?"

(Whenever Al feels Not Good she has to remember to do a sim bar check. Or someone has to remind her to do a sim bar check.)

autokrates

It's good to get stat checked, it's easy to forget. But yeah Val's gotten some food and is socializing (now), so she's fixing her wonky headspace responsibly.

But! Only real thing on Val's mind that's been any kind of downer is worrying about the kiddos. The usual woes of mixed parentage, vis a vis culture/language/etc.

radioconstructed

Nodnod! If Val has any specific concerns she wants to bounce off Al, Al is happy to be a sounding board, and offer whatever perspective she can as someone who's biracial -- though her mileage may vary here, the sociopolitical circumstances around her heritage are super different.

autokrates

A few BROAD questions are probably still applicable, and she can at least offer a human perspective that Val couldn't have independently as a Fish.

Some would have to be reworded. Like Val couldn't really ask if Al felt like trips to Earth are important to feel connected to her heritage, but asking if she visited famous historic sites For The History Of It would be close enough.

radioconstructed

To that, Al would say that visiting famous historic sites with an understanding of their significance & place in the larger context is meaningful, sure.

She feels more connected to her heritage through everyday stuff, though. Like, when she was alive & had both parents in the house, she just existed among both her maternal and paternal cultures. She didn't really have to seek it out. It was in her home. Now she just keeps a lot of that going because it's like, what she was brought up with.

autokrates

Which is good. Penny and Leal are both active participants in parenting, so it's not like Val is having to try and parrot humanity at the kids. But they DO live like. NOT on earth, so maybe a yearly trip would suffice.

radioconstructed

Yeah that's fair, Al doesn't have the experience of having a parent who's an expat/emigrant. Trips sound fun! Al would suggest having the kids interact with the local culture like locals. Doing what the normie local humans do in their own context. Y'know? Seeing important landmarks and going to like, specific events like Mardi Gras is great but so is just vibing like a local.

That's just her personal thoughts and she recognizes there's no single objectively correct way to do things!

autokrates

There's no objective correct way, but Val still appreciates the input from someone who at least Kind of had insight into how the kids are likely to feel as they get older

Like the local thing is good, it's not something Val would really consider since obviously, autocrat, everything they do is a big event.

radioconstructed

Aww! Well Al is happy to help, and leave it to Valera to decide what's applicable/helpful and what's not.

autokrates

Her input is valuable! And it's always good to just get checked by someone else anyway to make sure she's not catastrophizing about them feeling overly disconnected from anything.

Fretting as every young parent does

radioconstructed

Aww well of course! She's happy to help. She thinks it's good that Val is considering these things, and she thinks her kids are in a favorable position because their dads are actively in their lives. Like, they won't have a part of their heritage that they've lost connection to.

It's a bit tough bc they don't live on Earth and they have to be deliberate about getting that exposure, but yeah the idea of visiting Earth is lovely! And the dads can show the kids around and be like "this is the place where [x story]." Like, connect it to their human father's life. And maybe make some memories there, too.

autokrates

That's a good idea! Val might suggest to Penny that they do a repeat of their little traincation. Last time they took it she was pregnant with Eelizzy, but he would probably love taking the kids around Europe on a train so he can show them his old haunts.

And. I mean. Obviously Sebastien has to go to New Orleans

That's his dad's HOME CITY

radioconstructed

Oh, that sounds so sweet on all fronts!

Al has faith that the dads can come up with some fun ideas too!

See, Valera, you got this! And you're not on your own, the dads are involved here

autokrates

They are, but they're also dead men who never had to parent before EITHER. They are ALL new at this

But she can at least tell Al some funny more light-hearted goofy news

radioconstructed

Counterpoint, most parents have not had to parent before! There is a first time for everything. It's ok to be nervous but Al has faith in Valera.

Haha Al would be happy to hear the news!

autokrates

Al is SUCH a supportive friend, and talks with sense to give Val a good perspective. And she gets to hear about how Sebastien punched Spent in the boob because he Thought Spent was being rude (he was being unconscious, actually).

Woke that man right up with his tiny toddler right hook

radioconstructed

She's glad to be! Valera is a sweetie to Al, it's the least Al can do.

PFFT!!!!!

The rude behavior of being passed tf out!!!! lmao Al is so curious about what Sebastien's thought process was here

autokrates

Spent's tail was on Sebastien's toy. He asked him to move. No response. Tapped him and asked a few more times. Then decided violence was the answer.

radioconstructed

HAHAHAHA! Kids are SO FUNNY

Al approves. Violence IS the answer sometimes. Well did it work? Did Spent move his tail?

autokrates

He did! Sebastien learned nothing!

radioconstructed

He learned that violence is the answer! Al approves.

[jayextee]

Final DOOM - TNT Goes Boom!

Of the Final DOOM duo, Plutonia gets all the love. It's not fair! No, wait, it's totally far; TNT Evilution was a bit shit really, wasn't it? I mean, okay, to be fair I really enjoyed my first-ever playthrough of it when I had no access to the whole reams of user content and it was sorta my first megaWAD before I managed to acquire Realm of Chaos a couple months later. So it wowed me to begin with. But the point is, there's more content in 2023 that apes the Casali brothers' opus than the Team TNT effort.

That being said, there are a few here and there. TNT: Revilution was great, and a thing I played long before I started reviewing the WADs I shuffle through. Devilution looks good, but I was waiting for a final version -- last I checked there was no MAP26? For shame, I can't be playing the default TNT maps here, they're not amazing for the most part. I will make exceptions for the technical detail of the Mustaine maps or anything a Casali has even breathed in the vicinity of, though.

Well. Anyway. Pre-amble over, here's TNT Goes Boom! and it's pretty much in that popular Ultimate DOOM vein of "let's reimagine the maps' broad strokes if not the finer details" a la Stickney Installation and its ilk. And y'know what? It's fucking fantastic!

What really helps out is that mapper The_SloVinator has a sense of humour about this, reflected in the map titles -- remember the map 'Metal'? (I do, the fucking thing's cursed - especially at the end!) Well now we get to play 'Aluminium'! And as such, the remixed version is 'Metal' in spirit, but the creases and kinks ironed out for a much more pleasing experience. Imagine 32 maps of that, with some surprises thrown in (such as a not-the-Icon-of-Sin fight at the end). That's TNT Goes Boom!

This approach does have the downside of inheriting one particular 'quirk' of TNT Evilution that may vary in terms of mileage per passenger though; the tendency toward longer and more adventurous maps - especially in the back third - had me personally feeling more and more burned-out, necessitating short-burst play sessions. That's a 'me' problem though; but the absolute abundance of ammo isn't. I barely ever needed to resort to the cell weapons, so plentiful were the shells and bullets and rockets. I found myself at least 90% of maximum for all weapon types more than half of the time through the maps in general. I suppose Evilution was never really about being careful with resources, though.

It's a great time. Not perfect, could've done with more of its own ideas, but nonetheless a deserved 4/5

[crusherthedoctor]

Top 5 vocal Sonic songs? :>

I bet you I'll write this list, and then after uploading it I'll think "Shit, I forgot about that one..."

Also note that, being a neanderthal, the way it sounds is a priority for me. You can have the most amazing and thought-provoking lyrics ever, but if I think the composition is so-so, I can only shrug. So anyway, about With Me...

5. Sonic Boom - I prefer the JP CD soundtrack over the US one overall, but I prefer this over You Can Do Anything. It might be cheesy, but it's Sonic we're talking about, so I don't consider that an immediate point against it. :P

4. Believe in Myself (SA2) - Your mileage may vary on the singing, and it might be unconventional to place this one above the original SA1... one, but there's always been this coziness to it that I can vibe with. And it's about Tails, so y'know.

3. Live Life - Black Knight's soundtrack as a whole is obviously not terrible, but I do find a lot of it to be either mid or Too Much Rock Syndrome compared to others in the series. But this is one of the stand outs; it fits the story and all that good stuff, but I just love how uplifting it is, and I'd argue it sums up Sonic even more than some of his more famous character songs.

2. What I'm Made Of - As much as I love Open Your Heart, and have warmed up to Live & Learn due to it not being as overused in the fandom nowadays, establishing the main theme as the final boss track is a trend I've always been ehhh on, because I like to speculate and be surprised by what the final boss theme will sound like. What I'm Made Of only appears in the finale of its respective game however, so that technically doesn't apply here. This one always gets me 100% pumped, nothing more to say.

1. Unknown From M.E. (SA1) - Because what else was it going to be.

[leam1983]

Fat Cat Envy

The shift's ended, and Sarah's still working through the Wizard Game, while Walt and I are shooting the shit and backseat-gaming.

"I just love the boardroom aesthetic, is all," justifies Walt. "I've never been slim, I'm not built for tank tops or open shirts or anything, and I'm not the type of Fat Gay Guy who lets it all hang out, y'know? I need to feel braced, and I need a vest to do that. None of that should suggest that I'm shilling for the Fat Cat aesthetic."

Sarah pauses. "Welp, you kind of are. The difference is, you're self-aware. You're not Patrick Bateman who's expecting all of this to define him as a human, you're trying to assert a sense of identity that's only really expensive if you're hung-up on designer brands. There's a baker's dozen worth of Italian brands that don't come with Milanese pedigree and that don't have the price tag to match."

Walt waffles for a few moments and then rolls his eyes in concession. "Yeah, sure, I guess. I just don't know what's wrong about knowing what the fuck you're supposed to do with gingham and having a couple pinky rings to cycle through."

I watch Sarah as she Avada Kedavra's a big wolf-dog, whose only crime consists of being a wolf-dog in this particular location. As per usual, she does it while poking fun at Ralph Fiennes' delivery of the incantation.

"Stalin wore suits like you, Walt," I tell him. "Malcom X and Martin Luther King wore the shit out of their suits, too. You're not just a guy in a suit selling cars, and you're not a jagoff going for his fourth yacht or his third Mercedes. You knowing male haberdashery like the back of your hand isn't some moral fault of yours, okay? It's a choice you've made and an interest of yours. Some people collect Pokémon cards well into their forties, some people have a little lacquered box with a bunch of select watches like you, and I bet some other people just like you have another little box for their tie clips and pins."

I grip his hand. "Only two persons alive get to call you a Fat Cat as a positive - that's Sarah and me."

He blinks. "So you don't mind the contradiction between my values and how I look?"

I sigh. "Hon, you're a consumerist with a conscience. There's tons of people out there like you, starting with me. We buy shit we don't always need while being aware of their impact, and we otherwise try and make responsible choices. Count yourself lucky you never fell in with PC gaming or car ricing, 'cause then you'd be financing underage labor and exploitation. Christ, Walt, the last tie pin you bought came from a local artisan. You gave money to a local. How is that Blind Fat Cat logic?!"

He follows mine. "And if you bought that Oculus Quest in a few paychecks, you'd be in a moral quandary."

To which I have to agree. "I would, actually. I don't need that VR headset, but having the option to go untethered sounds nicer than my current setup. Maybe I'd get more mileage out of the Quest than my Rift S, which I only bring out with the office's VR PC for showroom car demos."

The big guy seems surprised. "And you're fine with that?"

Sarah pauses her game again. "Sweetie, real life isn't a video game. There's no Good alignment and no Evil alignment. Either you do the best you can and likely die forgotten by everyone, or you're an ass in a few select aspects and get a shot at notoriety or infamy. Please don't go down the Self-Flagellating Penitent route; my last boyfriend had anxiety attacks over which brand of coffee we bought!"

An angel passes, followed by a thoughtful nod. "So you can either be nihilistic about it and join the douchebros spending their way to an early grave, or you can be realistic about it. What then?"

I hug my Sales Adjunct. "Pick your battles, you idiot. Book sales, fantasize about that Burberry coat for next Fall while being aware you'll probably go for a Chinese knockoff at a fraction of the price, dress to the nines all you like - but make a difference where you can.

He's silent for a while and just hugs me back. After a minute or two, Walt sharply exhales.

"I take it back, I'm actually super rich, if it's all a question of perspective."

Sarah sees it coming and gives Walt a smirk and a slow sideways glance.

"I'm super rich because I've got you two," he says, assuming a bit of that Alpha Douche posture he uses it blend in, with his shoulders squared off and his girth allowed to take up space.

Suddenly, reaching the endgame phase doesn't matter all that much to Sarah. We're both in Walt's arms, and he fakes a self-satisfied laugh. "This fat cat's got two kittens to groom," he suggests, adding a deliberately lusty Meow before locking lips with me.

[lowhowl]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑.

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞. Spiders.

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬. she/her

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. do not perceive me (discord)

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). It's just Whisper right now. I've been on-and-off trying to clean up and restart my Tangle's blog but it hasn't really worked out,,

𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞/𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 (𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬/𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬?). If I count like. The very, very start? Something like 11 years now.

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. lbp (oh yeah we're diggin Deep) skype, ffxiv, discord, and tumblr.

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. I remember when the Homestuck RPC was at its most active and I was like. The only Vriska that actually stuck around for longer than a month without abandoning their blog, so if anyone needed a spiderbitch they went to Me and idk it just felt nice; Vriska is one of my most developed muses for a reason lmao

𝐫𝐩 𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 / 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬. the list has gotten longer and longer over the past few months but y'know what. It really bothers me when people flood the dash with ooc reblogs of stuff for their muses. Like- please queue all of it so its spread out, it makes scrolling around much less of a pain. (to be clear, none of my mutuals atm do this, ya'll are good)

𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. my preferences change depending on if I've done one specific thread type a Bunch, i.e. if I've had nothing but angst recently, I'd like to have some fluff to sorta reignite whisper's spirits, and so on

𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬. I get the most mileage out of memes. I love to plot! but my brain just turns off after a while.

𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬. I can do either, depends on the overall density of the thread, i.e. how active it is. I'll need to write multi-para over fights of any kind, but if muses are just standing there and talking, it's probably gonna be less than 3 paras, unless it's a very dense subject. best example of that would be my recently started thread with aaron's tails.

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞. nighttime. i hit my second wind at 3AM.

𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). I admittedly put a lot of myself into Whisper (we're both transfem, into alt fashion, have social troubles but have grown to be pretty jaded and Angry) but I also did the same with my Vriska and at this point it just kinda Happens without planning.

tagged by: a hedgehog gave me a sinister look tagging: steal it you coward

[checkoutmybookshelf]

I'm Not Saying I'm Homesick, But...

Yes, yes I HAVE been reading a lot of Alaska-based romances lately. I miss having mountains around that you can't drive over, and this book is set right in Fairbanks, which is where I was raised. I recognized more than a few of the locations here, and almost more than the characters and actual romance, I loved being immersed back in my home town.

That said though, y'know what strategy has literally never failed me when choosing books in a genre that is somewhat famous for it's broad range of quality? Following authors I like and seeing who THEY recommend. My road to Elva Birch was 100% through CE Murphy, and it was an excellent path. I am literally doing the math again on getting physical copies of the other four books in this series, because Libby--much as I love it--doesn't have them. In the meantime, let's talk The Dragon Prince of Alaska.

Carina and Toren are pretty adorable as a couple, and as far as shifter lore goes, I really appreciated that Carina had some reservations about the "fated" part of fated mates, especially once Toren explains that it's a spell. That was a nice underlying question, even if the effect on the relationship was...minimal at best. I wasn't mad about it, but your mileage as a reader may vary.

I also really enjoyed Carina's legal troubles, because as far as plots go in romance novels, framed for murder by a massive bank that the protagonist caught laundering just SHATTERING amounts of money was interesting and political in a way that really served to build the world. That was deftly handled, and I appreciated it massively.

The character work was also pretty good, given how many needed to be introduced and developed. I liked all the dragon princes, not just Toren, and the family dynamics were really sweet and real. I am very excited to get to read the rest of the princes' books.

Finally, I just need to shout out the incomparable Mrs. James, who completely understood the assignment. Like yes, you absolutely should make a production of pointing out the bedroom of the princes with whom the future princess is to get it on as the first stop on the Alaskan castle tour. Mrs. James runs that castle and quite frankly might be my favorite secondary character in the book.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this light, fluffy read that evoked home so strongly.

[the-expose-on-girls]

On Repeat

We all know at least one person who likes to tell the same story over and over, getting as much mileage as possible out of it. Some people don't have interesting things happen to them very often and some are just innocently proud of those cool moments. But others have darker motives for sharing their tall tales on a constant loop to anyone who will listen...

Imagine this...

You're at work and hear a higher ranking coworker sharing a story in the break room to a small group of people. With nothing else to do, you listen. She tells this long-winded story about how she used to be in a very high position at another company a number of years ago. She made a lot of money in that position and definitely had the rule of the roost. With her pushy personality, you don't doubt that one bit. The story takes a quick detour as she shares how she left that job voluntarily to "sort out" her son, who was dealing with some issues at the time.

"Because I'm a single mom, I had to be there for him, y'know? The job comes second," she adds in, sounding fairly sincere.

Next, she explains how she came to work here, where she has to work harder and work more hours, only to make about $200 less per paycheck than her previous job.

"But it's worth it, y'know? I get more time with my kids," she says, nodding. "It's been hard trying to find an affordable place to live though. I need at least a two bedroom apartment for me and the kids, but the only way to afford that is with a roommate! Being a single mom is hard!"

You think to yourself, "maybe she's not so bad?" She seems to put family first above work, a contrast to her treatment of others on the job that can often seem heartless. Perhaps you misjudged her? Maybe you should make some amends to the view you have of her, from her first impression... and every impression after. With a shrug, you go on about your day.

The following week, you once again end up in her general vicinity as she's having a one-on-one conversation with someone. It doesn't seem private, so you don't leave. After a few minutes, she rolls right into telling the same story again, almost word for word---the only difference seems to be that she exchanged "because I'm a single mom" with "because I'm a good mom". This time, you got to hear the beginning and you notice that A) no one asked any question to provoke her monologue, B) she had to completely change the current subject to tell her story, and C) the person she's telling it to had been in the group she told last week. The person she's talking to patiently and politely stands there listening to her chatter on like a broken record.

Now, let's point out the red flags, the reasons this is not some innocent story repeating.

She changes the topic to tell her story. Doesn't matter how awkward or out of place it may seem, she wants to tell everyone and that's what she's going to do whenever she feels like it. No one asked, no one brought it up (probably because they've all heard it before), but she's going to tell them anyway.

She makes the speech to the same people repeatedly. It doesn't matter if she realizes it or not. If they haven't heard before, then they must know! If they have heard it before, then they must be reminded!

The emphasized parts of the story highlight her being "a good person", rather than details others might be interested to know. Any part where she seemed like the hero or overcame a struggle will be emphasized and beaten to death in her retellings. If you get to hear it enough times, you might even notice she escalates and embellishes with every loop. (Notice how she went from "because I'm a single mom" to "because I'm a GOOD mom"?)

The version of herself that she pitches to others in these stories doesn't quite match up with how you have seen her behave towards anyone else. If she's such a good, wonderful person, why is she mean to coworkers? What you see at work is a lot of yelling, attitude, impatience, stubbornness, exclusion, and so much more. Where is this holy saint she speaks of?

The combination of these red flags can mean a few very important things:

She's pitching herself SO HARD as "the good guy" because she's actually not the hero of this story. There's a reason for the discrepancy between the way you've seen her treat others and how she acted in her story. It's quite possible (in this example) that she ACTUALLY got fired from her previous job for the exact behavior you see from her every day. Spinning it as voluntary resignation for family reasons changes the narrative so she looks good and the truth is hidden. Also, notice how she shines such a stark spotlight on her reason for "leaving", while keeping details about her actual time at the job in the dark? Normal people with good jobs brag about the job, NOT the reason they left. It would be interesting to hear what former coworkers have to say about her time at that office...

She tells this good guy underdog lie so often, without considering who has heard it before, because she's actually trying to convince herself it's the true story. No one else knows the truth, so she doesn't have to cover up anything for them. She's covering up the truth for her own mental peace, because she can't look in the mirror and face her own behavior and its consequences.

Her motive is to manipulate others' opinions of her to be more positive. This sob story is perfect, because it claims she has good character AND that she's an underdog. Hopefully, by the end of it, people will admire her AND feel sorry for her, right? She can play the hero card AND the victim card at the same time. Bonus points!

Pay close attention when you hear a woman retelling a story to death. Watch for the red flags. If there aren't any, GREAT! Cut her a little slack, because we all have some cool life moments we like to relive. But if you notice any red flags similar to those above, proceed with caution around her.

She likely doesn't have any other stories to tell where she looks good or where the story can be twisted to make her look good. She retells this one because it's literally all she can scrape together in the positive PR department.

She loves the positive attention she gets from telling it. Even when people have heard it before, they are good sports and still give her a figurative pat on the back. It helps her satisfy her constant thirst for attention.

[funkytoesart]

.

[lacrimosathedark]

Is rhato really not worth reading? :( Honestly I was interested because I wanted to see red hood jason run around with friends (also dog... That's so sweet I love that he had a pet) but I just saw ur post (thank u for it btw ur doing the good work, intense boost of serotonin from all the dog) and was wondering if all its faults are really egregious enough to make it unreadable? :0 hope ur having a good day!

Honestly, it depends on your tolerance and attachment to the characters.

I'm going to spoil a bunch of stuff so if you want my spoiler-free tl;dr: the second series might be worth it. Mileage may vary. The first is absolutely not--just read a summary. Recommendations for Jason reading in the last couple paragraphs of the post!

The first series centers around Jason, Roy Harper/Arsenal, and Koriand'r/Starfire.

The characterization isn't great. Jason gets dumbed down, makes some off-color jokes, and feels like he's just an "edgey protagonist". Basically a mouthpiece for Lobdell and Lobdell is a sack of shit.

The characterization of Roy Harper is...not great. It's not necessarily inaccurate, but it's honestly only accurate for early Roy Harper. Like, decades and decades of character regression. They also in New 52 changed his backstory like...a decent amount. Like, I think initially his Navajo heritage was removed? And then it was made that he might have accidentally killed his Navajo foster father while drunk??? It's yikes. They also changed his self-destructive weapon of choice from heroin to alcohol. And removed that he was pretty much fully recovered from addiction and actually spent a lot of time volunteering to help people struggling with addiction. It also very much removes how close he was with Dick Grayson. They grew up together, formed the Teen Titans together. They were tight. Dick actually helped Roy through a relapse, was one of the few who would help him. And the biggest issue? The lack of Lian. Lian caused a huge change in Roy's behavior. Before Lian, he was, tbh, a fuckboy. But pretty much as soon as he learned about his daughter, he single-mindedly tried to retrieve her from her mother and was the best father he could have possibly been while being a vigilante (ignoring Devin Grayson's Arsenal run where he let Lian play with guns wtf). Everything he did, even in part the people he saw, was connected to Lian. She was his entire world. And y'know what? Jason was present--as Robin!--when Roy learned he was a father. And that's never mentioned.

As for Kory, it is absolutely awful. They give her gnat-like memory and face-blindness and make her hypersexual. Kory has never been a prude, but she's also a romantic, not one to just sleep around, and they made her pretty much all about sex. It also changed her backstory and made her more...angry. Kory has always been a being of emotion and is prone to righteous rage, but she was never fueled by anger the way she could be in RHATO. It also almost completely--and this seems to be the trend!--erases her relationship with Dick Grayson! Which is probably her most important relationship period, just maybe edged out by her relationship with Raven or Donna. Barely. And she has completely forgotten all of them. It's incredibly dumb.

The New 52 as a whole, is godawful with a handful of exceptions. You're better off reading the summaries.

The second series swaps out those two for Artemis Grace of Bana-Mighdall and Bizarro Superman. It is overall marginally better...at first.

Artemis is also sexualized, and there ends up being a somewhat-forced romance between her and Jason. Could there be excellent chemistry between them? Yeah. But she suffers from "Men Writing What He Thinks is a Powerful Woman" Syndrome. She's not awful, though. She's wlw, very much in love with her deceased childhood best friend that she essentially had to kill because she lost her shit. She also does not take Jason's shit and it can occasionally be funny to watch them interact.

Bizzaro is incredibly difficult to fuck up. He's (initially) got toddler-level intellect. He speaks like a caveman. "Me am Bizzaro", y'know. Then he nearly dies and Lex Luthor manages to save him but he's temporarily a super-genius, which isn't...too bad. But then he's essentially made an addict to synthetic Kryptonite, which he literally bathes in like a Lazarus Pit like???? It's bad. And then when he finally stops being a genius, it gets worse. Like...ugh. But Jason's relationship with Bizzaro is actually sweet; it's compared to Jason being a big brother to him. He literally starts their relationship telling him everything's gonna be okay, and then buys him a stuffed Superman doll that Bizzaro names Pup Pup (mimicking Superman's "Up up and away" thing) and it's really cute.

Under the second RHATO run umbrella is Red Hood: Outlaw, which is Jason going solo for a bit. I wanna talk about that, but first I really need to talk about the ooc trauma conga line that came just before it.

So, Jason just found letters Ma Gunn had kept that Jason's dad had sent him from prison. It's a whole thing. But through this, Jason learns that his father was put away not for any of the awful shit he actually did, but as a fall guy for the Penguin. And Jason kinda...loses it. He hunts Penguin down, reveals his identity, and shoots him point blank in the face.

(Don't worry he got better)

But we all know how Bruce feels about people killing in his city. He has been allowing Jason to operate in Gotham, despite his general disapproval, so long as he doesn't kill anyone. And Jason almost killed the Penguin, and definitely tried to.

Bruce Wayne's parenting skills vary wildly between writers. Some people making him a loving and affectionate, if emotionally stunted, parent. Some make him emotionally and physically abusive. He has, admittedly, hit his children before. It varies widely enough that I think it equally valid to say he's a good parent or a bad parent due to your personal canon. But what happens here is out of character despite even that, because the one constant is he always loves them.

The Goddamn Batman hunts down Jason and very much brutalizes him. Like, punches him hard enough to break his helmet. Like, completely shattering the front of it so you can see Jay's whole fucking face. He's yelling about how if Jason left it would be his own choice and not Bruce's, and saying shit like "No more Red Hood!" and it's...disgusting. Really bad.

Jason manages to get away long enough to discover that his HQ is falling apart. It's kinda complicated, but basically to save them and entire Gotham block, Bizzaro drags their HQ into another dimension, and Artemis goes after him. So, Jason just lost two more good friends. (for note: he hasn't heard from Kory since RHATO, and he quite literally broke up with Roy at the end of Red Hood/Arsenal, "it's not you it's me" speech and all, and the most he's heard from him is second-hand from Waylon Jones aka Killer Croc who is his addiction recovery sponsor like????) And then Bruce does the thing where he appears behind you. And he proceeds to attack Jason again.

Out of nowhere a savior arrives: Roy Harper! He has a knockout gas arrow that knocks them out and carries Jason to safety.

He takes Jason back to the island they stayed with with Kory as Outlaws and helps with his recovery, and Roy lets Jason in on a drug trafficking case he's been working. Partway through, Roy goes separate ways from Jason because he's going to "superhero rehab". Jason teases him but is supportive, and they go separate ways.

And then Roy fucking dies at Sanctuary because Heroes in Crisis was even worse than RHATO!

You know who comes to tell Jason that Roy's dead?

Bruce.

Their whole interaction is actual fucking bullshit. Not because what is written itself is bad, but in the context of their last interaction it rings hollow and disgusting. They hug. Like??? That is so fucking tone deaf I can't even--

Jason just lost Ma Gunn (who's missing), Bizzaro, Artemis, Bruce, Gotham, and possibly the rest of his family. And then Roy on top of that who he has not one, but two series with establishing their closeness. And Roy died, as Jason says, somewhere he was supposed to be safe. He actually calls Roy's phone and leaves a message that starts with "Hey, it's me. Jaybird." This man pretended he hated that nickname; he once told Roy to "choose between Jaybird and your trachea. You can't have both." and like--fucking ow. Throughout the rest of RHATO, it is repeatedly brought up how effected Jason is by Roy's death.

(Which makes me even more mad when he comes back to life and doesn't fucking tell him like??? Fuck the people writing Roy rn let him go back to Gotham and find Jason and Lian I am begging)

But other than that, the earlier part of Red Hood: Outlaw is pretty good. Funny enough, the time that it's good is pretty much the duration of Dog's appearance. It's honestly coincidental, but she does make everything better. But Jason kind of does what he initially planned to do! He's practically running crime in Gotham from the Iceberg Lounge, which he stole from Penguin! He's a semi-legitimate business owner! And the art is still decent there, and damn, boy looks good in a suit.

After the departure of Jason from Gotham (and Dog from the comic :( ), is an era called Generation Outlaw. It's written sooooo bad. Jason accepts a teaching job from Lex Luthor to train the next generation of supervillains. Like??? The premise itself sucks.

The kids are worse.

First off, the art is ugly. Second, only two of them have actual names. The rest are only known by their "villain" names.

One of them is literally a genius baby and her zombie "mom". She has no actual name, just "Baby in Arms" and "Mombie". Dumb as shit.

What really gets under my skin is DNA. DNA is referred to as nonbinary. What's the problem? Well first of all, it keeps being brought up, like it's one of their 2 personality traits. The other? They literally identify as a multiplicity rather than a singularity. Like, they refer to themself as "we" and "us". This is first of all, annoying, and second of all, reinforces the trope of enbies being amorphous inhumans. I hate it and I hate them. (However at least Jason treats them with moderate respect unlike Roy who repeatedly misgenders Stitch in Titans Academy and god do I hate that characterization of Roy)

And it just goes further down the drain from there.

Honestly, if you want Jason content that's not Death in the Family, Lost Days, Hush, or Under the Hood, (cuz they're all old and technically a different continuity, sort of, it's complicated) Batman: Urban Legends is where to look, followed by Task Force Z (though maybe read the run-up to it which is in Detective Comics 1042 I think? there's a few issues). They both have pretty good grip on Jason's character. It reinforces his anger, his general emotional-ness, and his empathy. It also reinforces that he's intelligent, clever, and plays dirty. And it finally tries to address the distance between him and the Bat-Family, which is entirely Bruce's fault. And it makes his vow to not kill based on his own moral choice rather than appeasing Bruce! And it's not that he thinks killing is wrong, but that he's faced with the fact that even killing the scum of the earth can have innocent collateral. It's so good.

He's also in a few crossovers with his family, like when all the Robins show up in Robin to catch Damian, it's great. Robin as a series is pretty great actually. And before that I'm pretty sure he appears in Joker War. I think specifically in issues of Nightwing. Jason is also in Batman Secret Files: Clownhunter, and in the 2017 Talent Showcase has a story where he's training Duke Thomas.

Also if you don't mind Elseworlds, Wayne Family Adventures on Webtoon is honestly so good and it does Jason great justice. He is a dramatic bitch, a book nerd, makes jokes about his death while also demonstrating accurate trauma from dying, and due to the premise being essentially Slice of Life, he can have actual healthy relationships with his family and it's so cute. Also Alfred's there and alive which is always a bonus.

But yeah. RHATO is kinda yikes.

[scaryscarecrows]

Some instances Jason getting hair pets from Frank? Or the squad awkwardly trying to parent/older sibling their murder child?

Also on a scale of 1-10 how awful does it feel to know that the Knight, who is scary competent and badass never actually got to like. Graduate high school. Because he’s got abducted/captured and tortured. For a year.

Also also, I have the prequel comics and Jason is just. Brooding in a tree about how he’s going to to kill Batman. Squad would absolutely mock him for it. Really living up to your cat helmet, eh, AK?

"--c'mon, you stubborn fuck, you weren't under that long--"

"--are you, Mark--"

"--minute out, maybe less, don't you dare let up--"

The boss suddenly gags and chokes, water bubbling over his lips, and Frank pulls him upright.

"There you go, get it out, c'mon..."

The next few seconds are silent, save for the coughing and the lapping of the sea against the docks and the steady plik-plik-plik of the rain. Finally, the coughs give way to ragged gasps and Jason slumps against Frank's chest, shivering.

"You got him, right?"

"Yeah," Frank says, carding one hand through his hair. "Yeah, we got him."

Trent: Yeah...none of us here are claiming to be saints or anythin', but. It's just. In what world, exactly, does somebody think that's even remotely a good idea?

Frank: Multiple somebodies! I don't see Gotham bitching about it. Fuckin' cesspit.

Jimmy: It's no wonder he's, y'know, the way he is. There was no other way that could shake out. I made the mistake of doing some off-hours research on the Joker; Arkham videos and such, right? Mm-mm. Sick fuck.

Riley: Frank's right. Gotham's a cesspit and the Bat's the worst kind of enabler.

Mark: We probably should have blown it to Kingdom Come when we still had the bombs to do it, but oh, well.

Antoine: Certainly explains a lot, doesn't it.

Jason: I lived, I'm fine.

Antoine: Your mileage may vary.

Jason: Humph. I am fine. And my helmet does not look like a cat.

[soulwillower]

when richie met y/n • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

prologue

requested: idk if your taking requests rn BUTTTT could you do a richie fic that’s like when harry met sally? if you’ve seen it that is 🌟🌟🌟~🤍

warnings: mentions of sexist stuff, bc richie is a dick, mentions of sex, slander of the name sheldon (sorry), talking about the plot of casablanca but you dont rly have to have seen it lol

ok so i know i havent finished tozier but i just recently rewatched this movie and figured i’d write the prologue for this planed series n post it <3

[losers + reader have just graduated college in this. ]

2.3k words

♡

it’s after graduation '92 when y/n y/l/n first meets richard tozier. 

the trees are turning red and crusting off the tips of branches, the bitter cold of the university whipping around your car even though it's supposed to be nearing the end of spring. you're sitting awkwardly now, with your window cranked down, eyes glued to the couple at the edge of the sidewalk. they're entagled with each other enough that all you can make out is wild dark and curly hair, a sharp jawline, and the girl’s blonde hair gathered in a fist of the mysterious boy. but you'd notice your friend amanda anywhere, even if her back is turned and face occupied with another’s. 

you clear your throat, but they ignore you, the boy whose hands are wrapped around her waist tilting her jaw to kiss her even deeper. "i love you." she whispers. you feel awkward, and roll your eyes. it's still seconds later and so you clear your throat, muttering, "amanda." 

she jumps apart from the boy. "oh, hi y/n. um, y/n, this is richie tozier. richie, this is y/n y/l/n."

you lock eyes with the boy, who's got a smirk on his lips as he wipes his mouth. you watch as amanda's lip gloss rubs off his bright red lips, "nice to meet you, y/n." 

you nod back at him, antsy to start driving and nervous for some reason. "hi. you want to drive the first shift?"

he laughs slightly, shaking his head as his wild dark curls bounce around. he’s devastatingly handsome, and you’re not surprised amanda loves him so much. he pulls his crewneck's sleeves over his hands and shrugs, "no, you're there already, you can start if that works." you nod, slightly put off, but shrugging it off. 

"okay. the back's open." you watch awkwardly as the boy lifts his belongings into the space in your trunk, amanda coming up and hugging his tall, skinny frame. "please call me." she whispers. he nods and you watch from the rearview mirror, "call you as soon as we get there, baby." he says. your friend amanda whines, "oh, please call me from the road. "  the boy, richie, cracks a charming grin, "i'll call you before that."

almost gagging, you turn your attention to the radio and fiddle it, waiting for richie and amanda to finish making out against the back of your car. 

it's awkward once you start driving, richie tapping his long fingers against his knee as you stare at the road ahead of you. you clear your throat, "i have it all figured out. it's an eighteen hour trip, which breaks down into six shifts of three hours each. or, alternatively, we could break it down by mileage-" but while you're speaking, richie's leaning to fiddle around with a bag in the back. you blink, "er, there's a...there's a map on the... visor that i've marked to show the locations so we can change shifts." 

richie barely hums and crunches on something, making you turn to look at him. he lifts his brows, "grapes?"

you lift a brow, "n-no. i don't like to eat between meals." you say, eyes going between him and the road, where he spits out the grape seeds. "alright, y/n. why don't you tell me the story of your life." his sentence makes you do a double-take and you almost laugh. 

 when he sees your bewildered expression, he shrugs, "we've got eighteen hours to kill before we hit new york." 

shaking your head, "the story of my life won't even get us out of chicago." that makes him laugh, a sound that was shockingly unexpected as it cuts through the stale air of your car. a light, excited and shocked laugh that makes you smile as you watch the road, your eyes stealing a glance at the abrupt and disheveled boy lounging in the passenger seat. 

it's four hours later, and richie's convinced you to pull into a small diner on the side of the road. "-you're wrong." you shake your head as you enter the lot. "i'm not wrong, he wants her to leave! that's why he puts her on the plane." richie insists. you shake your head, "no, i don't think she wants to stay."you insist.  richie rolls his eyes at you, "of course she wants to stay. wouldn't you rather be with humphrey bogart than the other guy?"

you shrug, "i don't want to spend the rest of my life in casablanca married to a man who runs a bar. i probably sound very snobbish to you, but i don't.” 

richie looks shocked and annoyed, slamming the car door shut to catch up to you as you walk towards the front doors. "you'd rather be in a passionless marriage." you nod, "well, yeah, and be the first lady of czechoslovakia."

"really? that rather than live with the man you've had the greatest sex of your life with, and just because he owns a bar and that is all he does."

 you glare at him, "ingrid bergman is sensible, okay? that's why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie. she knows better, just like i do." 

as a waitress takes you to a booth, richie hums behind you with amusement laced into his voice. "ohh, okay. okay. i understand now." you look at him, "what?" but he shakes his head. "nothing." "tell me."  "no. forget about it." "forget about what? tell me." you insist.  richie's pushing up his glasses and staring at the menu, grinning. "it's not important." "-just tell me!" you hiss.  richie pushes his menu down and looks at you cockily. "obviously you haven't had great sex yet."

you blink, staring at him in shock. this stranger, who you met hours ago, is telling you that you haven't had good sex yet? you scowl, "yes i have." you snap. 

he laughs, looking at the menu still. "no you haven't."

you accidentally project your next words loudly, "it just so happens that i have had plenty of good sex."

 it goes silent at the diner, all the eyes on you. the waiters and workers stare, the other patrons watching with wide eyes as richie just grins at you. you feel yourself go red with embarrassment. what is it about this kid that gets you so mad?  

richie seems unphased. "well, with who?" he asks. you mutter, "whom." to correct him, and so he folds his hands and tries again, "with whom are you having this fantastic sex?"  "i'm not telling you that."  "fine, don't tell me." richie says with a shrug, reading over the menu once again. you study his face, the light smirk that seems to be plastered onto his lips permanently; the freckles over his cheeks, forehead and nose. something about him makes you feel like you have to prove yourself.  "shel gordon." you say after a moment. 

"shel? sheldon?" he asks, eyes dark blue as they lock with yours. he laughs, "no, no, you didn't have great sex with sheldon."

"fuck you." you spit. he's still chuckling as he says, "no, no. sheldon can do your income taxes. if you need a root canal, sheldon's your man. but humping and pumping is not sheldon's strong suit." you wrinkle your nose at his vulgar language. "it's the name. 'do it to me sheldon, oh, you're an animal 'sheldon.' it doesn't work." he says, moaning loudly and making you red. you swat him and he laughs. 

 you're furious, but the waitress shows up and asks for your orders. "hiya doll, i'll have the number three, please." richie orders. the waitress looks at you. you smile, "i'd like the chef salad please with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie a la mode. but if possible, i'd like the pie heated and i don't want the ice cream on top i want it on the side. and i'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it? if not then no ice cream, just whipped cream - but only if it's real. if it's out of a can then nothing."

the waitress looks at you and you can feel richie's eyes on you in the silence following your order. "not even the pie?" she asks, while writing. you shake your head, "no, just the pie, but then not heated.” she looks at you slightly but nods,  "noted, coming right up."

you look at richie, "what?" you ask as he stares at you. he shakes his head, "nothing, nothing. so how come you broke up with this sheldon?" he asks. 

you stare at him, irritated and regretting agreeing to this road trip. "how you know we broke up?" you say. richie grins, "because if you didn't break up, you wouldn't be here with me, you'd be off boning with sheldon the wonder-schlong."  "richie."

the next moment you know you shouldn't have agreed to this is an hour later, back on the road. you can feel richie's eyes burning into your head, so you stop singing.

 "you should probably keep your eyes on the road." you suggest lightly, making the boy crack a smirk. "you're a very attractive person." he says earnestly. you look back down to the map in your hands, "thank you."

"amanda never said how attractive you were." richie says, as if he's just saying whatever he's thinking. "well maybe she doesn't think i'm attractive." you say with a shrug.

 richie hums,"i don't think it's a matter of opinion," you can't help the butterflies in your chest at the compliment. "y'know, like...empirically you're attractive."

you frown, distrustful that richie's being so flirty with his girlfriend's friend. "amanda is my friend." you say. 

richie looks at you with a tilt of the head, "yeah, so?" "-so, you're going with her." "so?"  you scowl, "so you're coming on to me!"

richie's eyebrows shoot up and he looks defensive, "no i wasn't- what?" you're unimpressed, eyes widening and jaw dropping. this boy is full of shit, and the smirk on his face proves it. you don't think you're much of a big fan of this richie kid. 

"can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on?" he asks with a blindingly charming smile that makes you glare. "-alright, alright, let's just say just for the sake of argument that it was a come-on. what do you want me to do about it? i take it back, okay? i take it back."

you cross your arms, staring out the window. "you can't take it back." richie groans, "why not?" "because it's already out there." "oh god, what are we suppose to do, call the cops? it's already out there!" he yelps, swerving on the road and making you grip your seat. "just let it lie, okay?" you say, annoyed. "great! let it lie. that's my policy. that's what i always say, let it lie." richie mutters, and you shoot him a glance before looking back at the rolling greenery outside the window.  it's quiet for a moment, then, "wanna spend the night at a motel?"

your jaw drops, richie beating you to speaking as he laughs at your reaction. he finds it so funny, but all you do is glare. asshole.  "see what i did? i didn't let it lie." "richie." you say. "i said i wouldn't and i didn't." he adds.  "richie." 

"in fact, i went the other way, i-" you cut richie off, "richie!"  he looks at you, "what?" you shake your head, huffing. "we're just going to be friends, okay?" 

"fine by me. friends, it's the best thing. " he says.

it's silent for ten more minutes, and you almost get to sleep until you're jolted awake by a voice you've been forced to listen two for six hours straight. "-you realize, of course, that we can never be friends."

his words, while irritating beyond belief, do capture your attention. "and why not?" you say. 

he swallows. "what I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”

its silent for a second as you take in the stupidity of his words. "jesus, richie. that's not true, i have a number of men friends and there's no sex involved.”

“no you don't.” he says matter-of-factly. you scowl, "yes i do.”  

“no you don't.”  “yes i do.”  "you only think you do.”

"you're saying i'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?" you sass, rolling your eyes so hard it hurts. richie huffs a short laugh, "no, what i'm saying is they all want to have sex with you." 

you wrinkle your nose. "they do not. that's really disgusting."  "maybe it is, but it’s true." "they do not!" you insist, turning in your seat to stare at him. "do too." your jaw goes slack and you narrow your eyes, "how do you know?"

"because. no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive - he always wants to have sex with her."

you feel like punching him in the face. "so you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive." you say, feeling disgusted by his sexism. "we- uh, you pretty much wanna nail 'em too."

you groan, "well what if the women don't want to have sex with you?" you say. "well, sure. but it's still ruined because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that’s the end of the story. men are very stupid and painfully simple creatures."

"well i guess we're not going to be friends then." you snap, turning to look back out the window. he's such a fucking douche, you can't believe you're trapped in this car with him for ten more hours. 

"guess not." he mutters.

you sigh, "that's too bad. you're the only person i knew in new york."

you slept for eight of the ten hours left, and when you’re unloading richie's luggage from your car in front of a small apartment, he nudges you slightly. you look up at him as he towers above you, raising a brow. you hate to admit it, but this asshole is awfully cute when he’s not being the devil.  

"thanks for the ride." he says with a soft smile. 

you nod, "yeah, it was... interesting." you say. he smiles, "it was nice knowing you." he offers his hand out to you, and you grip it, his hand warm and rough in yours. "yeah." is all you can say. 

richie steps away, grabbing his things. "well... have a nice life." you say as you get back into the car. 

"you too, y/n." 

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[thexam-union]

Enter an axe murderer and a constuct! The Old Town isn’t really densely populated, as far as things go, but there sure are people here all the same! And they both love their jobs, which is always something you love to see. Just make sure not to cross either of them on a bad day, and you should be out alright. They’re pretty friendly, given what they do for a living!

Of course, these two don’t interact as much with each other, given none of the Buckwheats know how a technology works past a barely-functional family LinkedIn page. You can still ask both of them questions, though!

As before, transcripts and picrew links are under the cut in case the fonts or images are wonky. :>

Bellatrix:

Name : Bellatrix Buckwheat Attraction : Creek Freak Massacre Zone : Creek Town Sector : Corvus Local Duty : Sawmill Worker

Bellatrix fits in with the family, for worse rather than for better. She's just as manic as everyone else in the family, and twice as likely to push you into a wall blade first with a smile. She's pretty accurate with her chops, too, so it's very prudent to be careful around her if you don't want accurate slices and dices taken out of your leg. Bellatrix has also gone through a lot of people in her time, mostly those that couldn't handle what she was about when she was at her best. Their loss!

Outside of being feral in and around the sawmill, Bell likes to travel! A lot! She's really into exploring what the island has to offer, given that she wasn't really allowed to when she was younger. And now? Well. She's just a bit unstoppable, really. And that translates into checking out all of the things. Weird cinema that tends to be the focalpoint for thunderstorms? Sure! Apocalyptic half-destroyed district? Some of the helmet guys are a bit boring, but she's been there! Dockyard? Bit infested but still fun! Good to practice a couple swings now and again, too, the guys down there said they needed help, y'know!

Of course, between family ties and work, there's not much time to hang around other areas, but she certainly does like to go out and have fun on her quests. Maybe sometimes bring a friend back and watch the chaos go down, but that only works on newcomers to the island and she actually does want friends after so... mileage varies! Everyone in Amity doesn't like her antics, though. That much you can know for sure.

Castula:

Name : Castula Attraction : Black Mirror Labyrinth Zone : Creek Town Sector : Corvus Local Duty : Public Relations & Recruitment

Castula is an outstretched arm of Labyrinth. It is a part of a whole. It is an inviting hand that will push you into the flames. They know how to act like a person, and they know how to encourage you to join them on a trip you'll never recover from. They know what they should and shouldn't know, and know what to say and what not to say.

Aside from being a construct with an incredibly specific use, Castula is incredibly empathetic, due to having a general understanding of people and the human condition. They do like to people-watch, though it's more of a habit to get more data for Labyrinth and to test their own skills of prediction than a social activity or based on personal interest. They also do tend to hang around high-traffic areas, such as Amity and the Dockyard, and never really say what they're assigned to, so there's a lot of people who assume it's with the Dockyard crew rather than Old Town. Even more so given the construction of Superspark Cinema, given the description "neon disaster" that's occasionally banded around.

Another thing of note is having a close relationship with one of the WWTP Radio workers, Kalausi. Not necessarily a work relationship, but more genuine interest and a long game, depending on who's asking. Truth be told, she just has a chipper personality that Castula tries to emulate a lot.