#get out of my head foul rhyming demon

[junebugwriter]

I thought I was Het

I thought I was Cis

I thought I was straight when I kissed my wife

I can't be that

So now I'm this

And now I'm just gay when I kiss my wife

[tigerdrop]

ive been absolutely losing my mind this past week but today i have escaped the thrall of brain demons and i would like to show u a sneak peek of my geralt/jaskier sex pollen fic, Sacrificial Rites. (this part is safe-for-work tho.)

its roughly halfway done but this is all im comfortable sharing right now BYYEeee

It starts when Jaskier hears, in the near distance, something like a cannon firing. Well, if he were to think about it, actually, it starts some time before, in a little spit of a village to the north of the Temerian capital. Theirs is but a humble farming community, and it smells the part, which Jaskier reminds Geralt of. Frequently. But the air’s tinged with the smell of smoke, too, and the snow-dusted trees that knot themselves through the village are adorned with bright, multicolored muslin ribbons. Jaskier thumbs some of them as he passes by. Their coin purses are light, and there’s always something, somewhere, in need of slaying, and when a stream of young girls brushes past them, boughs clustered in their hands like bouquets, Jaskier suspects all he’ll have to do is join in whatever festivities are at hand and he’ll drum up work for them in no time. And by “them”, of course, he means Geralt. But that’s not the part he says out loud. True enough, it takes just one bawdy song about Geralt’s prowess at ghoul-slaying and lady-killing for someone in the local tavern to recognize him. A puffy-eyed man, calls himself something Jaskier can’t parse. Or pronounce. But his coin’s good, and Jaskier’s not yet had occasion to sing about the creature he describes - a cikavac, heavy on the sibilants; a gangling, bird-like thing that’s stealing the milk from their cows and the honey from their hives. Jaskier lets out a laugh. “Really? And what does a great big bird want with cow’s milk, anyway?” “Not for eating,” says the man, tugging at his mustache. His voice has a heavy accent, like the words are punched out of his mouth. “Cikavac works for someone. Maybe in another village, maybe someone here. Takes the milk back to them.” “Glorified theft,” Geralt mutters. “Well, what’s the bird get out of it, then? If it were up to me, I’d rather get to fly around, and sing, and, er, whatever else it is birds get up to. Preening? That sounds nice.” “That’s all you do anyway,” says Geralt, face stony, and he steers Jaskier away from the tavern by his shoulder. They almost bump into a woman and her children just outside. Jaskier shimmies past them, narrowly avoiding trodding on their embroidered skirts. “I’m deeply offended, Geralt,” he laments with a hand over his heart. “I’ll have you know, I’m a man of many skills and talents. Like… Oh! You wouldn’t happen to have any cherries on hand, would you?” “No,” he says, like this is obvious. “More’s the pity. I’ve got this fascinating trick of the tongue, you know. Lets you tie a knot in a cherry stem, no hands necessary. I picked it up from some ladies in Novigrad.” Geralt turns his head back to look at him, eyebrows raised, but doesn’t dignify that with a response. Doesn’t say much the rest of the afternoon, either. All Jaskier can squeeze out of him is a rudimentary description of the thing - gawky, uncomfortably humanoid, and bearing a long, narrow beak with a fleshy pouch where it keeps its spoils. “Like a pelican,” Jaskier supplies helpfully to no one but himself. There are preparations to be made, but Jaskier mostly tunes them out. More interesting is the smoke, growing thicker as they approach the outskirts of the village. Lot of torches for the middle of the day, he thinks, until they resolve themselves as effigies of cloth and straw, bedecked in dried husks and rudimentary skirts to give them the shape of a woman. Jaskier’s mouth closes mid-word. “Oh, that’s alright, then,” he starts up again, “they’re just setting a bunch of little girls on fire. No big deal. And— and then putting them out again. Sure. Seems a little counterproductive!” His voice breaks on the last word, coming out unnaturally loud. A handful of people glance his way. “Don’t be rude,” grunts Geralt. “Not looking to get chased out of town before I get paid.” “Geralt of Rivia, telling me not to be rude? My goodness. I guess I must be rubbing off on you.” Most of the participants gather around a creek that splits the town from the thicket. They cross its shallow waters between a group of boys taking turns to toss their own straw dolls into it. Back to their familiar rites: gathering herbs, laying traps, establishing a stakeout. Jaskier’s gotten quite good at it by now. He sings while he works, mindless things about sad women with lush black hair, so thick you could drown in it. Geralt tells him to knock it off. It only encourages him to give Geralt a winning smile as he cooks up another verse. They’ve got a nice little vantage point where the valley swells up into rolling hills, affording a decent view of the— of the— “Geralt, what’d that alderman call himself?” The witcher looks up from where he’s crushing seeds in a mortar. “Zduhać.” He mouths the word silently, and finds it cumbersome. Of Zduhać’s farmstead, then, where he’s kindly left his prized goat tied up this night for them to use as bait— “It’s a title,” continues Geralt. Jaskier blinks at him, surprised. “Means something like ‘dragon man’.” Of the zduhać’s farmstead, then. Glad they got that sorted out. “So, what, am I to believe that that old man killed a dragon? He didn’t seem much for that kind of thing. A bit too much gout, if you ask me.” “That’s not what it means.” Jaskier waits for a moment, but Geralt just keeps pounding his pestle. “And what, pray tell, does it mean?” he asks at last, as he crosses one leg over the other and rests his hands on his knee. Geralt keeps silent in a way that Jaskier has come to interpret as I don’t know, so don’t ask. Now, they wait. And wait. Geralt keeps his eyes peeled, as sharp as ever, but sometime after the moon rises high in the sky, Jaskier’s fingers stop strumming quite so fast. The air’s balmy and supple, ripe with moisture and the pollen of countless plants unfurling again, and he finds himself nodding off. Jaskier comes to all at once when he hears, in the near distance, something like a cannon firing. He clambers to his feet, against all reason, really, because the last thing he should do is make himself a bigger target for - for whatever that was from. His lantern’s been put out, enveloping the forest in darkness, and he is suddenly aware that he is alone. “Geralt?” he calls out to the trees. His voice warbles in a way he doesn’t like. There’s no response, but he’s sure that sound came from this way. Or maybe it was that way? Jaskier may be no witcher, what with those keen senses and all, but he is clever enough to follow the shuffling and rustling in the trees until he’s sure he isn’t just hearing things. It’s not until he’s well and truly lost track of where he started from that he stumbles through a cluster of flowering bushes, and with it, Geralt. What he should say is something like “Geralt!”, or “Geralt!”, or even “Thank goodness you’re alright!”, but instead what he says is, “Lords have mercy, you’re filthy,” because his eyes have a direct feed to his mouth that bypasses his brain entirely. Geralt’s hunched over and trying in vain to clean his face, covered as he is from head to toe in a translucent, yellowy slime. So is everything else in a ten foot radius. Geralt spits. “No shit.” “What’s— what in the world happened to you?” He steps forward gingerly in an attempt to avoid the mess. “Damned thing. It ate one of my pouches.” Jaskier draws upon his dabbling knowledge of witchery and alchemy to come to the conclusion that something inside it didn’t play nice with the cikavac’s insides. And now its insides appear to be its outsides. “Well, you’re not hurt, are you? Not missing any limbs, from what I can see.” “You’ll put me out of a job with observational skills like those,” says Geralt, unimpressed. He wrings a thick glob out of his hair. All that’s left of the poor beast is its beak, glossy, orange, and befouled with the same stuff. Jaskier lets Geralt pick it up himself. They can’t go back to town looking like this, or at least Geralt can’t, as Jaskier kindly reminds him. There’s a secluded bank downstream from the villagers and their celebrations. It’ll have to do. This, too, is another thing Jaskier’s gotten good at over the years. Scrubbing Geralt clean, that is. He knows which oils to keep on hand to best maintain Geralt’s hair, which salves to apply to all the places Geralt can’t reach, and which temperature Geralt likes the best when they’ve got a choice in the matter. Things that should be degrading. Beneath a man of his stature. ‘Should’ isn’t often found in his vocabulary, however. His fingers knead through Geralt’s hair to coax the last of the slime out of it. It has an odd texture, not unlike a whisked egg, although he’s to understand it’s just a foul mixture of honey, milk, and assorted intestinal fluids. Muscle memory takes over. The rote nature of it quiets a buzzing in him. It’s the same buzz that makes him turn rhymes over in his head, over and over, keeping him from a good night’s sleep unless he’s worn out or fucked out. Hence his predilection for the finer things in life - wine, women, washing. Geralt’s kind of like a cat, Jaskier thinks idly, how he leans into the firm drag of Jaskier’s fingernails against his scalp. It’s hard to beat back a smile. Those eyes of his, normally beady slits, balloon in the dim moonlight. Jaskier pushes down on his shoulders to get him to submerge himself. He goes easily, lingering under the surface for a moment, where his silver hair hangs suspended around him in a filmy cloud. Then he bursts back through the surface like a quenched sword, hot and steaming. Maybe there was something to those strange rituals after all.

[randomkposts]

Hello

I figured I should start with wall of quotes. Cause whynot

Quotes “It's hard to hate my prep team. They're such total idiots." - Katniss.”

“Here's some advice. Stay alive.” “The cat that Prim got hates me, I think partly because I tried to drown it.” “District 12: Where you can starve to death in safety.”“No. Now, shut up and eat your pears."

” It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death." "Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it's a gigantic cake-”“Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.”

“Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.”

"Well, leprechauns. You know they're not real, don't you?""Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron."

"I majored in Ancient History. You have your own page in the 'Criminally Insane' section."

"Really, Butler, I must begin choosing my business associates more carefully. Hardly a day goes by when we aren't the victims of some plot.""The punching is not helping my concentration, by the way.""Oh, brilliant. I must write that one down in my witty retorts book."

"The pixie is crazy! Give me your gun, Holly. I'm going to shoot him.""Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?"

"This is a well. You might think that there is something to it... But in fact it is just an ordinary well."

Woman in Ur : Hey, where are you four brats off to now? What...? You're going to go save the world...? Did you get hit on the head or something!?

Gilgamesh : Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT IS MORPHING TIME! Galuf : Bartz! Stop that! Bartz : But it's fun! poke, poke, poke... Bartz : Jumping Christmas!

Edgar : "That's Shadow! He'd slit his mama's throat for a nickel!" Kefka : "This is sickening! You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet! Prepare yourselves!" Locke : "Hey! Call me a TREASURE HUNTER, or I'll rip your lungs out!" Edgar : "If something were to happen to me, all the world's women would grieve!" Setzer : "My life is a chip in your pile. Ante up."

Yuffie : So! I saved the great Vincent Valentine! Do I get any thanks?

Squall : Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just two sides holding different views. Squall : I dreamt I was a moron...

Seifer : Great, I have one chicken-wuss and one kid who just entered puberty in my team! Squall : ...Whatever.

Auron: The red carpet has teeth. Auron: Outside the dream world, life can be harsh, even cruel, but it is life.

Rikku: Memories are nice, but that's all they are.

Kimahri: Pick spot. Shut up. Wait.

Rikku: Do you think we need a password? Paine: How about 'Kick..it's..ass' Paine : The hardest person to know is one's self.

Raogrimm: People are capable of kindness beyond angels, yet we also commit sins that would put a demon to shame... Lonely Chocobo: Warkkkkk!!! Gweh!!!! Warkkkk

Naja Salaheem : (After Abquhbah faints when he realizes that he's speaking to the empress) Nothing to be concerned about, Your Magnificence. Mercenaries are trained to sleep anywhere, anytime if the opportunity presents itself.

Lightning: Worst birthday ever. Lightning: It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do. Lightning: We live to make the impossible possible! That is our focus!

White Mage: Hi. I was just wondering if you knew how much we've suffered because of you. Good day. [after finding the Falcon Rydia : It's not yours. Edge : That's okay, it would be happy to be used by us!

...That's General Leo.. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.

You think a minor thing like the end of the world was gonna do me in?

"What a cute doggy!' "Leave us. The dog eats strangers...'

This should be fun. When do we leave?

Read my lips - mercy is for wimps! There's a reason "oppose" rhymes with "dispose"...If they get in your way, kill them!I don't care for the appearance of this pitiful little hamlet... So burn it!!

Figaro Guard : Kefka's "One shy of a six pack!" Imperial soldier : I oppose peace! Narshe resident : Narshe is a neutral city.! We want no war here, but that %#$@& Empire won't listen! South Figaro Resident : We may be thieves, but at least we have goals in life!

Cyan: This is the Phantom Train. It carries the departed to the other side. Sabin : Wait! I don't want to go THERE!

Strago: Go to your room! Relm : I will not! What a fussy old man! Strago : Relm! Is that you, my dear? You're alive! Relm : Idiot! Of course I'm alive! Strago : Oh, I'm so happy..." Relm : Did you think I was gonna check out before you, old man? Strago : You're as foul mouthed as ever, bless your heart!

Shadow: I know what friendship is... and family...

"It's not my problem."

"Don't fight here! You'll ruin the flowers!" "I think they believe I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER!" "Mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing!"

Don't need no appointment... This is a 'mergency! Anyone who don't wanna get their face bashed in better git outta the way!! "I've got the wrong person."

W-wait a second. I won't run or hide. Yes, I was a spy. I was hired by the Shinra. I couldn't help it. How 'bout if we continue like nothing ever happened?

Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!

This's gonna be a big splash. Hold on to your drawers, an' don't piss in 'em!!

Maybe God'd forgive an ugly shit like you, but I won't!

I don't know what the hell it is, but it's falling from the sky. Hmpf! It's not even an omen.

Hey, do you know who I am? I'm Cid—that's who the hell I am! Now just let me handle it!

I don't want to regret not having done something later.

I always thought this planet was so huge. But lookin' at it from space, I realized it's so small. We're just floatin' in the dark. ...kinda makes you feel powerless. On top of that it's got Sephiroth festerin' inside it like a sickness. That's why I say this planet's still a kid. A little kid sick and trembling in the middle of this huge universe. Someone's gotta protect it. Ya follow me? That someone is us.

We're busy runnin' back and forth! Even my bikini goddess would be pantin' about now!

Oh, GAWD! If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've taken rope escape lessons more seriously!!

Escape from a world of illusions... Hmph... I wonder which is better.

I know you want my help because I'm so good!

Cloud, put me in your party, so I can get off this ship. Cloud...sign this. It's a contract that says when the war is over, all the materia will belong to me.

The stars shine so bright, like glowing materia... reach up and grab one. GROSSNESS! Don't mess with me old man! You don't even have any Materia!

Citizens, unite! Come to the light, Mako energy. Power is truth. Shinra is the future. Real happiness can be found in obedience to the company People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished.

Godo : Go! Survive till the end! And return! With the Materia! Doctor in Mideel : You can see for yourself what things look like, but at least no one was seriously hurt. We're just very unhappy now. Junon soldier : I'm learning to be a delinquent soldier!! I just can't seem to get the hang of it! Reeve Tuesti : What may be a few to you was everything to those who died...

Barret : She ain't gonna show up. 'Least this time she didn't steal our materia. Guess we gotta be thankful for that. Yuffie : How could you say that!? I came all the way here after being seasick as a dog! I didn't go through all that just to have you guys have the best parts all to yourselves!

...A speech? Forget it. Cut the mic!

You're-going-to-like-me! You're-going-to-like-me! Did it work?

D-Do you have any...hot dogs left?

...The HELL! Man...Now this is what I call boring. This ain't right, man!

YOOOO!!! The HELL you doin'!!!?

I'm a pretty lucky guy. Hand in hand with two beautiful girls.

That is sooo vague!

Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer!!

Well, Zell was riding his T-Board in the hallways of Garden. He made a sharp turn and went straight into the woman's res...

Sharpshooters are loners by nature... We hone our instincts, pour our whole being in a single bullet. The pressure of the moment... An instant of tension... That's what... I have to face alone...

Well, fine then! We WILL have a good time!

Thanks for the support, but I never miss my target.

Well, we could skin this little guy and wear him as a disguise...

I say things that get a rise out of some people. Just don't let it bother you and we'll get along fine.

Ooh neato! A hole in the middle of no-where!

You've all heard this before. How life has infinite possibilities. I don't believe that one bit. There weren't many paths for me to choose. Sometimes, there would only be one. From the limited possibilities I faced, the choices I made have brought me this far. That's why I value the path I chose... I want to hold true to the path that HAD to be taken.

Let's just fire like crazy and make a big hole, BOOM!

...Speeding. Let's go arrest that student for violation of academy regulations. Listen up! Teamwork means staying out of my way. It's a Squad B rule.

This is the scene where you swear your undying hatred for me!

And so, Laguna runs for dear life. She got upset and put fruit jam in your shoes. You were almost in tears!

Fujin: DISTURBING.RAGE!SHOCK!GOOD. CONVENIENT.PERSUASION, USELESS. SEIZE!IGNORE.RUN!ELLONE? NOT HERE.FATIGUE POSSE... We are. We always will be. Because we're a posse, we want to help you. Whatever it takes to fulfill your dream, we're willing to do. But... You're being manipulated, Seifer. You've lost yourself and your dream. You're just eating out of someone's hand. We want the old you back! Since we can't get through to you, all we have now to rely on is Squall! It's sad... Sad that we only have Squall to rely on... Seifer! Are you still gonna keep goin'?

Big Sister: I can't wait until I meet a guy that I can scream at and exchange blows with!

Quistis : You're the squad leader. Good luck to you. Seifer : ...Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student who needs them, eh? Quistis : Alright, then. Good luck, Seifer. Seifer : [to Fujin and Raijin] Add Instructor Trepe to the list. Zone : Our plan is to...Selphie : ...Blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher!? Zone : [taken aback] ...Ahh...not quite... Rinoa : Oh, shut up! I made it like that on purpose. It represents my hatred towards Deling. Zell : Hatred, eh? Yeah...right. Selphie : It's one of the...ugliest things that I've ever seen in my life. You must really hate him.

You don't need a reason to help people.No cloud, nor squall shall hinder us!Piece of cake. I'm an escape artist.

In the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... but that's the way things are. The choice is yours.

SON OF A SHOOPUFF!

Al Bhed is Al Bhed. Rikku is Rikku. Rikku swore to protect Yuna. And Rikku is not a liar. Kimahri can tell. So, she is a friend.

Why are you still here, sir? (pause as Auron looks at him) I beg your pardon. We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane.

Rikku : Did you...hit your head or something? Tidus : Um, you guys hit me. Rikku : Oh, right...do you remember anything before that?

Sometimes, when I got a lot on my mind, it just helps to go, "AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave." "Guard your emotions first, then guard your summoner." "Ha! Legendary guardian? I was just a boy. A boy about your age actually. I wanted to change the world too, but I changed nothing. That is my story." "Don't look to others for knowledge. This is your story."

Don't think it's just a game. Your life's on the line. "You. It's what's for dinner." You. Are. Hired."

Barkeep : Mish Yoona, what can I do for yoo?

Yuna : Duck Soup! Paine : Duck what?

Rikku : I'm gonna kick you in the spleen! Paine : Spleen?

Lightning : (to soldier).Nice gun. Noctis : Goodbye, whoever you are.

You sure are a keen observer of the obvious, kupo!

And I know some "little girls" who can kick your butt!

"You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."

Rachel: They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb. Annabeth: Was it hard?"

"Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?""Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?" "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart."'

“Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades." "The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"

Rachel: You're a half-blood, too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about? Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god! . . . They don't seem to care."-

"What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year."

“You're a stalker with hooves." "I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.”

Well, we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death." "I see. You tried the diplomatic approach.”

"Well, Percy, what have we learned today?""That three-headed dogs prefer red rubber balls over sticks?""No," "We've learned that your plans really, really bite!”

"Dude!" said a party pony as he unloaded his gear. Did you see that bear guy? He was all like: 'Whoa, I have an arrow in my mouth!”

“Boys are usually forbidden to have any contact with the Hunters. The last one to see this camp…” She looked at Zoe. “Which one was it?”"That boy in Colorado,” Zoe said. “You turned him into a jackalope.”Ah, yes.” Artemis nodded, satisfied. “I enjoy making jackalopes…”

“Christmas in the Underworld was NOT my idea. If I'd known what was coming, I would've called in sick. I could've avoided an army of demons, a fight with a Titan, and a trick that almost got my friends and me cast into eternal darkness. But no, I had to take my stupid English exam.”

“Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian." "You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him."Those are vegetables.”

"How about this: stealing is not always bad?""I don't think my mom would like that moral."

I thought about the lines Rachel had spoken in that creepy voice: about storm and fire and the Doors of Death. "Maybe," I said, "but it didn't sound so good.""No," said Apollo cheerfully. "It certainly didn't. She's going to make a wonderful Oracle!”

"My son here convinced me that perhaps I should prioritize my list of enemies." He glanced at me with distaste. "As much as I dislike certain upstart demigods, it would not do for Olympus to fall. I would miss bickering with my siblings. And if there is one thing we agree on - it is that you were a TERRIBLE father.”

Running with a drowsy child of Hades was more like doing a 3 -legged race with a life size rag doll.”

“Yay!' he said. 'Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!”

“You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.”

" He tossed me a jar of thick green liquid—Greek fire, one of the most dangerous magical substances in the world. Then he threw me another essential tool of demigod heroes—duct tape”

“Juniper: Are you guys busy? Percy: Well, we’re in the middle of this game against a bunch of monsters and we’re trying not to die. Annabeth: We’re not busy. ”

Though "peanut butter" is a strange battle cry. It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works."I am praying. I'm talking to you, right?"Oh . . . yes. Good point.”

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?""Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." "I do not understand.""I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said."And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt."

"with great power... comes great need to take a nap"

“Oh no." I said panic rising in my chest. "No, no, no, Somebody get a can opener. I've got a god in my head!!”“Well," I said. "If you need me, I'll be outside, playing with sharp objects.”

“Fairness means everyone gets what they need. And the only way to get what you need is to make it happen yourself.”

“I guessed his name was Face of Horror. I wondered how long it had taken his mom to think of that. Bob? No. Sam? No. How about Face of Horror?”

“Now the tattoos," Zia announced."Brilliant!" I said."On your tongue," she added."Excuse me?”

“I just love family meetings. Very cozy, with the Christmas garlands round the fireplace and a nice pot of tea and a detective from Scotland Yard ready to arrest you.”

“Carter Kane, 14, died tragically in Paris when he was eaten by his sister’s cat Muffin.”

“There will be guards,” Bast said. “And traps. And alarms. You can bet the house is heavily charmed to keep out gods.” “Magicians can do that?” I asked. I imagined a big can of pesticide labeled God-Away.”

“I believe you, Sadie.""Oh really. I'm holding the bloody feather of truth, and you believe me. Well, thanks.”

I guess it started in London, the night our dad blew up the British museum.”

“The baboon is driving,” I noted. “Should I be worried?”

“Thank Ra!” She exclaimed. “Yeah, I’m alive.” “No, I almost jumped in after you. I hate the water!”

“Why did adults have to be so thick? They always say “tell the truth,” and when you do, they don’t believe you. What’s the point?”

“I must admit I’m impressed, Sadie. You controlled your magic and controlled Isis. And you, Carter, did well turning into a lizard.”

“That’s Narmer with the spoon,” I guessed. “Angry because the other bloke stole his breakfast cereal?”

“Most of Set’s forces were running towards our boat, screaming and throwing rocks (which tended to fall down and hit them, but no one says demons are bright).

"Great another mystery. I was about to suggest we ram Amos’s head against it and see if that worked.”

The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways.”

“I looked back, but Bast and Sadie seemed fine. They were still staring at the water as if it were some amazing Internet video.”

. Why would someone display a rock? Aren't there enough of those in the world?”

“Dejardins was so stunned, he momentarily forgot how to speak English. "Ce n'est pas possible. On ne pourrait pas-”

[kiruuuuu]

Oneshot in which... I don’t even know how to summarise this. Maestro threatens Blitz with an Italian dessert, I suppose. It’s insanity. Enjoy! (Rating T, humour, ~1.8k words) - written for @magehir because the world needs to suffer under the ideas we come up with :)

.

“A-ha! Just the man I was looking for!”

Blitz is this close to simply turning around and booking it as fast as his legs will possibly carry him. His day has been going great so far, he had an extremely productive meeting with Sledge concerning their cooperation with a few certain CTUs, stumbled over Rook trying to get rid of some chocolates of which Blitz more than gladly relieved him and now he’s on his way to fetch his lunch from the fridge in the canteen – but was not at all prepared for the Italian train which keeps running him over unexpectedly.

Maestro who was until just now busy with putting the finishing touches on what looks to be a panna cotta, now whips around and strides towards Blitz with worrying speed. Despite him instinctively cowering before the tall man, he gets dragged in by the collar like a dog who misbehaved – and there isn’t even anyone present whom he could ask for help, not that it should surprise him the canteen is deserted when Maestro is fuming in it.

Recently, the Italian has been in a decidedly rotten mood, extremely easy to anger and not even placated by Sledge who normally has a similar effect on him as horse tranquillisers should (Blitz hasn’t tried it so he can’t know for sure), meaning he turns the whirlwind into nothing more than a soft breeze. Before Maestro’s temper flared for real, Sledge was one of the most popular people on the base purely due to his ability to rescue whoever currently was sentenced to listening to the Italian. In the past week, however, not even Sledge’s gentle touches achieved anything and so everyone has taken to avoid Maestro whenever possible.

Especially Blitz.

Because for some reason, Maestro has taken an, uh, odd liking to him. He doesn’t really know what else to call it seeing as he sees no rhyme nor reason in it, but it seems like he’s being hunted down regularly, only so Maestro can preen in front of him. There’s no established ritual but a lot of similarities between each separate instance and most of them involve Maestro bragging about a variety of skills, inviting Blitz to compare their abilities, be it in archery or gutting a rabbit, and more often than not he displays his really quite impressive body: sometimes he traps Blitz against a wall, showcasing his arm muscles, puts a foot up on the bench where Blitz is sitting or similar antics – and while he’s undeniably attractive, he’s also very much taken.

This is the problem with the whole situation. Maestro reconquered Sledge’s heart immediately upon his return (or maybe it was never not in his possession, with how private the man is it’s just as possible they were in a long distance relationship all these years without anyone noticing) and has been madly in love with him, propagating this fact to everyone who didn’t ask with an uncomfortable amount of gory details. Since Sledge can usually tame him a little, people prefer them being together to Maestro being broken-hearted (and no one wants to imagine that particular horror) but it seems the Italian is fickle enough to shift attention pretty quickly.

At first, he outright ignored Blitz for the most part, talked over him whenever he was having a conversation with Sledge, but a short while ago this tilted over into the complete opposite. Blitz can’t believe Sledge hasn’t noticed yet or maybe he’s scrambling to save what’s still to save behind the scenes, it’s hard to tell also because he feels too guilty to raise the topic to the Scotsman. He doesn’t want to be accused of being a homewrecker. On various occasions, he’s told Maestro to back off, leave him alone; he hasn’t encouraged him in any way though this only seemed to fuel the Mediterranean macho even more.

“Here, taste my cream!”, Maestro demands and points accusingly at the impeccably presented dessert he seemed to have prepared for no one but Blitz.

“I have my own lunch”, Blitz replies, vaguely intimidated, and chooses to ignore the double entendre.

“This is your lunch! Never in your entire life will you ever eat panna cotta cooked to such perfection again – I make the best panna cotta on this continent and you will test this fact for yourself, cesso!”

Blitz doesn’t know what the nicknames Maestro has given him mean but based on the nature of all the others it’s probably dripping with honey. He asked Alibi about one once and she just snickered and said that’s cute. “Look, thank you for offering me food, but I really don’t think -”

“What, you don’t like it? I don’t believe you. Everyone likes it! You’re still growing, right? If you’re not fully grown yet, you need calcium, secchione, and just look at you.” Maestro inexplicably starts poking him, testing his muscles by pinching them harder than necessary and this, of course, is exactly the moment the door to the canteen opens. He throws a panicked glance over to his teammates who seem frozen to the spot in fright as the Italian proceeds to grope Blitz openly. “Here, there’s plenty of room to grow, you baby, you’ve probably never felt real muscles in your life!”

He realises with dawning horror that Maestro is not only inching closer by the second but also seems to be flexing at him, pushing his chest out so his already tight shirt leaves next to nothing to the imagination and yes, he’s – he looks good but could he please get out of Blitz’ face? Preferably soon? “No, I don’t -” Panic is now audible in his voice and he can see more and more people quietly file into the room. “Please stop, Maestro, please just -”

“Have you even seen any? Huh?! I’ll show you, boy!” Maestro has basically backed him into a corner now and Blitz can feel the heat radiating off him.

“I really don’t think this is the why are you taking your shirt off please put your shirt back on what are you -”

“This is what a well-trained body looks like!”, Maestro booms and fluffs himself up like a bird trying to attract a mate and Blitz has literally never been this uncomfortable in his life.

“This is really inappropriate”, he whispers meekly because he doesn’t have the voice for anything else seeing as Maestro is looming over him like an ancient God come to life and uh, wanting to catch up on a number of things. He also looks ready to suffocate Blitz in his chest hair.

“I’ll show you inappropriate”, Maestro shoots back, either not thinking about his words at all or, in fact, considering them very deliberately, “and now taste my fucking cream!”

Blitz is 90% sure no one else in the room is breathing at this point. It’s clear Maestro hasn’t noticed their audience though he’s actually not sure he’d stop if he had. “I don’t want -”

Opening his mouth was quite clearly a mistake as a spoon gets shoved into it, almost choking him and no, this, this is the lowest point in his life.

He’s being accosted by a man almost 10 years his senior who would drive him insane were he forced to stay in a room with him for longer than a few hours – not only that, it’s a foul-mouthed, loud, arrogant Italian who is in a relationship with one of Blitz’ best friends, making this whole situation all kinds of awkward, but on top of that, he’s currently trapped, being molested and violated with dessert and unable to escape because that would mean putting his hands on Maestro’s half naked body. And he’s not doing that. He’s absolutely not doing that.

And while his life flashes before his eyes, he thinks: Damn, this panna cotta is fucking good.

“What’s going on?”, the one voice comes from beside them that Blitz really didn’t want to hear in exactly this moment. Sledge is nonchalantly leaning against the counter next to them, a fond smile playing on his lips as if he was watching an old couple bicker good-naturedly instead of his boyfriend deepthroating his best friend with a spoon.

“I can explain”, Blitz rasps, prompting a death glare from his nemesis.

“You will explain nothing, cesso!”

Sledge’s brows are rising in amusement but as he doesn’t look like he’s going to interfere any second now, both of the two burst out at the same time: “He won’t stop flirting with me!”, Blitz complains and it pains him to speak it out loud, especially in front of everyone, but the truth needs to come out because - “Why would you ever choose him over me, amore?” - he’d hate if he were the one to taint Sledge’s wait what.

Wait.

What?

The two of them stare at each other, probably a perfect mirror in how open-mouthed and unflattering they look. “Are you seriously thinking -”

“Seamus and I are just friends, why would you assume -”

“You’re nothing but an insect to me, needing to be squashed, you’re not -”

“Is this why you’ve been haunting me all this time?! Because you thought -”

“How dare you, I’ve been proving myself to be the better man all this time, showing you all the things you lack, you wet noodle!”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, excuse you, you really are a weak excuse of -”

“Then why were you so worried about me stealing Seamus away, huh? If I was no competition in the first place?”

“You seemed willing to stake a claim on something not belonging to you, I was merely -”

“Gentlemen, please.” Both of them shut up simultaneously at Sledge’s soft baritone, whipping their heads around to him in agitation. “Apologise to him for calling him a toilet and a nerd, Adrianito.”

Blitz balks. Is…. is that what those nicknames meant?

“I will never”, Maestro announces, dramatically turns on his heels and stalks away, his exit made less impressive by him having to fight his way through the thoroughly stunned crowd. He also leaves his shirt behind. And his panna cotta.

“Is that”, the German speaks up with hesitation and points to where his personal demon has just disappeared, “is that how he shows jealousy?”

“Oh yeah”, Sledge confirms with a wide grin. “That’s how he establishes dominance.”

His eyes narrow. “If you knew this entire time, why didn’t you interfere?”

“Are you kidding me? This was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.” And with a chuckle, Sledge leaves as well, probably to appease his livid boyfriend.

Blitz rubs his face with a deep sigh and then notices half of the base still staring at him. “Fuck off!”, he barks at them and watches them scramble to get away in satisfaction. Maybe now he can finally eat his lunch in peace.

And like this, no one will watch him eat the panna cotta. It really is delicious.

[nervyghost]

Back in all of my glory with another chapter of  @littlekiwifrog ‘s Turned good AU! This one (like the last chapter) got crazy long, but it mostly did so because I wanted to write something with the rest of the losers. (Cursing, as per usual with these losers) I’m tagging @da-chubby-burb as my lovely beta, and just before I begin, I wanted to ask if any of you wanted to be on my tag list.

Yep! You heard it! I’m starting a tag list, so if anyone wants to be added, shoot me a PM and I’ll be more than hapy to throw your name into the next one! That’s it from me, enjoy the chapter!

Bill hammered on his younger brother’s door for what had to be the thirtieth time that morning, his patience wearing thin as seconds ticked by. “JUH-GEORGIE! C’MON!” He shouted irritably. The sound of bedsheets being torn off of a mattress followed his words, causing him to add: “If you’re not out here in f-f-five minutes, I’m leaving wi-without you!” There was a crash from within the room along with the sound of clothes hitting the floor with a panicked sort of haste. Bill smiled and shook his head fondly, knowing full well that his brother was nowhere near ready to go and meet the gang.

Richie was hardly ever on time anyway, and Georgie was practically stuck to the other boy’s side whenever they were in the same room, when he wasn’t asking Stan a thousand questions about birds. Both would complain sometimes, but Bill knew they both secretly loved the attention the seven-year-old was more than willing to give them. Before he could become too lost in his thoughts, he turned his attention back to the door decorated with turtles and banged on it again, harder this time. “Suh-sometime today!”

“COMING!” Georgie hollered. Bill listened as the banging noises became more frantic, less spaced out, and altogether hectic as the boy within fought with his pajamas and tugged on his clothes. With a final creak of protest from the floorboards, Georgie emerged in all of his glory, his hair swept awkwardly across his face to obscure his bright eyes. He was quick to brush his bangs out of his eyes and look up at Bill with a grin on his face.

He tugged at the strings of his yellow hoodie before striding forward, trying- unsuccessfully- to hide his excitement. “I’m ready to go, Billy!” He chirped. Bill shook his head firmly.

“Guh-go eat something.” Georgie’s face fell near instantly.

“You’re going without me?” Bill snorted and leaned forward to ruffle his hair.

“Course not.” He reassured him. “But you sh-should eat something first.” Georgie looked ready to argue but Bill silenced him by turning on his heel and striding in the direction of the door. “I’m j-just going to fuh-fix Silver up a bit, okay?”

“Okay.” Georgie seconded, running to Bill’s side to grab him around the waist and stare up at him with his big brown eyes. “Promise?” He asked. Bill smiled.

“Of cuh-course.” Georgie grinned up at him. Bill almost felt bad for crossing his fingers behind his back as the younger boy bounded to the parlor to snag a muffin.

Bill knew he wouldn’t have long to wait before he was back at his side, so he quickened his step, letting his feet carry him out of the front door and to the pair of bikes parked neatly out front, looking like two dogs waiting for their masters to return. Bill ran his hands over Silver’s rusted frame. “Not yet.” He whispered to it, letting his fingers run over the dents in the handlebars before pulling away. Silver was in pristine condition, as always. The bike he was worried about, was Georgie’s.

He stared at it, wondering idly if it would disappear before his very eyes, but the bike remained, its blue paint gleaming in the sunlight as it waited for Bill to touch it. It seemed to call to him, which was ridiculous. It was a bike, not some sort of child-eating-demon. Bill still couldn’t bring himself to even touch it, the smell of what he knew wasn’t popcorn clinging to it like a foul musk to a wild animal. He had to take a deep breath before laying his hand on the cheery paint, just to calm his racing heart. It was stupid, really, to be afraid of a bike. He hated that he had to fight to convince himself that was true.

He knelt next to it and poked at the spokes, his eyes scanning the chain for any kinks or breaks in the metal. He ran his finger along the edge and inspected it further, the links cool on his hands. He pulled away with hesitance, wiping the grease stains on his hands across his pants, leaving twin smears across his jeans. He hardly batted an eye, standing to feel the seat instead, searching for anything sharp, not wanting to be responsible for anything bad happening to the kid.

He almost wanted to find something, just to prove to Georgie that Penny was nothing more than imaginary, but the lack of anything dangerous was driving him up the wall.

And, it still didn’t explain how it ended up in his bedroom with a red balloon. He didn’t want to admit how long he had stared at the red balloon, a feeling of dread causing his stomach to twist into a tight knot of sheer fear, the room near electric. The hairs on the back of his neck had stood on end as though Georgie had left his window open.

He hadn’t.

As he further inspected the bike, he couldn’t hold back more skeptical thoughts regarding Georgie’s friend. It was impossible for it to have brought the bike back, and Georgie wasn’t one to lie. Bill had no trouble believing that the Bowers gang had attacked his little brother, it had happened enough times. But the part that he was finding hard to swallow was the fact that the bike had been returned. Someone would’ve noticed if their house was broken into, surely. And for the intruder to be carrying a bike? It just didn’t make sense.

But, as his hands wandered up and down the pristine bike, he came to his conclusion. The bike, was just that. A bike. A blue bike that somehow had magically appeared in his younger brother’s room after being tossed into the river.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door behind him swung open on squealing hinges. He threw his leg over Silver’s sturdy frame and rested on the seat, watching with a forced smile as Georgie galloped over to his own ride.

“I had a muffin!” He proclaimed.

“Knew it.” Bill booted the kickstand into place and began to pedal forward. “C’mon, or R-Richie will beat us th-there!” That was all the convincing Georgie needed to spur the bike forward and out of their yard. Bill looked toward the road as Silver began to pick up speed and he stood up on the pedals, loving the feeling of wind in his hair. He let it blow all thoughts of ‘Mr. Penny’ out of his head, and with every noise of metal-on-metal that Silver let out, he felt just a little better about- well, everything.

He would never admit it, of course, but on the day Georgie had gone out all alone with his little paper boat, something inside of him just screamed that his brother was in danger. And not just in danger of a fall, or a bruised forehead, no. Bill was almost certain that something absolutely horrifying was going to happen to Georgie while he had been immobilized by fever. It was stupid, really, but the fear gluing him to the bed had felt so real, so cold and sharp, he was positive that he’d never see Georgie again. He didn’t want to admit how he had stared at the ceiling and said a silent prayer for his brother’s safe return as the piano downstairs played the tune Für Elise. It seemed to last for hours. Hours of waiting to hear Georgie’s screams from the window. Days of wanting to be anything but as useless as he was. Years of feeling his head burn and sweat drip down his back.

And then- Georgie had come home. Wet and waterlogged, but with a joy that warmed him from head to toe. He would never admit to practically leaping down all the stairs in a single bound when he heard his brother call him down.

He wasn’t even mad about the boat, not really. It was only his cold that stopped him from scooping his brother up in his arms and holding him close, just for a second. He’d be able to blame it on being more than a little loopy off his meds (As they all knew Eddie had been in the past) and that would be that.

“Wait!” Bill slammed on the brakes and nearly went flying over the handlebars as Silver screeched to a stop. He shot Georgie a dirty look.

“Wh-What the hell, Georgie?” He snapped. Georgie looked a little bit sheepish as he dismounted and began to pull his bike toward Bill, crossing the arguably large distance between them until he was at his brother’s side.

“Could you slow down a little?” He asked, looking as though he was asking Bill to carry out his own death sentence. Bill’s glare turned into a soft smile.

“Course.” He slid off of Silver’s seat with ease and began to walk his beast of a bike, Georgie’s looking ever so small in comparison. The small grin he earned as a reward was more than enough to make up for being late.

“So,” Georgie looked at the passing houses as he spoke, a hundred unsaid thoughts rushing about in his head. “Why exactly did Richie call you in a panic last night?” Bill let out a small laugh.

“They went to the N-Neibolt house, H-Him and Bev.”

“Why?” Bill shrugged.

“D-Dunno. Riche was too puh-panicked to say an-anything other than fuh-fuck and shit. It’s a w-wonder I got anything out of him at all.”

“Why was he panicked?” Georgie asked. Bill hesitated for a moment before deciding to be truthful.

“Well, I couldn’t guh-get much out of him, y-you know T-Trashmouth. Buh-but, he said that it always seemed ruh-really creepy to him, juh-just the whole place, y’know?” Georgie nodded. “An-Anyway, th-they said it was no-normal, except for the smell.”

“The smell?” Georgie echoed.

“L-Like something from the o-old drainage tunnel. Se-sewer water.” He knew that his brother wouldn’t sleep that night, but he hardly cared. “And downstairs, B-Bev and Richie kept s-saying that they were hearing this creepy n-nursery rhyme about oranges? M-Mike said it was super old, like from the seventeen-hundred-”

“Oh, Billy! Wait a sec!” Georgie rolled his bike to a stop and pushed down the kickstand of his bike. Bill watched him slide off of the seat and reach into his pocket, fumbling for a moment before his hand closed around something. “Mr. Penny?” He asked, a small grin finding his face. “Thanks for getting my bike back!” Bill could’ve sworn he saw something glimmer in the dark opening, but once he blinked, it was gone. That same feeling of unease began to creep back into his bones as his brother drew a small bag of popcorn from his pocket, along with a couple of hot cocoa packets. “I brought you some popcorn since yours blew away in that storm! And some hot cocoa packets ‘cause I bet it gets cold down there.” Bill smiled softly as Georgie rested the offerings in the leaves.

He shot Bill an innocent smile as he straddled his bicycle once more, only stopping to say a cheerful: “Hope you like them! Bye, Mr. Penny!” over his shoulder. The two pedaled forward a few feet before Bill spoke again.

“You really th-think that your imaginary f-friend from the sewers is the one that b-brought your bike back?” Georgie nodded enthusiastically.

“How else did it get in my room with a red balloon? I just wanted to say thank you.” Adding under his breath: “And he’s not imaginary.” Bill rolled his eyes, the near-horrific prickling sensation in his stomach completely forgotten.

“F-Fine.That just better not have been the k-kettle-corn from the fair.” Georgie began to pedal faster, Bill keeping pace easily astride Silver.

“I only took some of it.”

“G-Georgie!” Georgie, however, had already shot ahead a few feet, his legs pumping madly as he raced along the street. Bill grit his teeth and pedaled harder.

Had either of them turned to look back, they would’ve seen a pair of gloved hands reach up from the sewer and delicately grab the offerings, pulling them into the darkness.

Georgie kept shooting glances over his shoulder at Bill, cackling madly in a way that only a seven-year-old child can. He wasn’t even mad, not really. He just wanted to get into the competitive spirit, and what better way to do it than to race his sibling to the Barrens?

“Shit and shinola!” He heard Georgie shout as Silver’s huge front tire began to overlap his shadow. Bill grinned, standing up on the pedals and coasting past Georgie with ease.

“I’m g-going to beat you th-” This time, it wasn’t his stutter that caused him to stop. He was stopped by a sharp cry of:

“Look out!” from Georgie. Bill slammed on the brakes for the second time that morning and felt the back tire begin to skid out of control, leaving a black line on the street in its wake. He screeched to a halt, his heart hammering heavily in his ears, but-

Georgie began to cackle and he shot past Bill, nothing more than a blue blur. “Gotcha!” He crowed. If looks could kill, Georgie would have winked out of existence in an instant, leaving his bike to freewheel right off the road.

“You little sh-shit!” Bill leapt off of Silver and grabbed the handlebars, putting his head down like that of a charging bull as he tried to coax Silver out of its dormant state. He began to barrel forwards, the clink clink clink of the chains beneath him drilling into his skull. Forcing himself to breathe evenly, he kept on pedaling, sweat beading on his brow even though the morning was cold. His hot breath fogged up the air and he lowered his head, giving Silver one more good kick to keep it going as he stood on the pedals once more. He could see Georgie’s bike wobbling and pushed himself to keep on pedaling like a crazy person.

Georgie looked over his shoulder and Bill grinned as his face drained completely of color. “Gotta be fuh-faster than that!” He taunted as he crept ever closer. Georgie squealed in response and stood up on the pedals. Bill didn’t do so much as slow down.

“Bill!” Georgie shouted. Bill stuck out his tongue as he zipped past.

“Gonna b-beat ‘ya!” He knew he was the textbook definition of a big brother when he rolled into the Barrens, a huge, somewhat cocky grin in place on his face. Georgie wasn’t too far behind, but even though he was tired, it couldn’t stop the scowl that slid onto his face.

“Cheater.” He huffed, sliding off of his bike so he could properly cross his arms. Bill playfully knocked shoulders with him.

“I’m n-not the one who caused the uh-other to slam on the buh-brakes.” He quipped. Georgie sighed, but Bill could see the small smile on his lips. “Cuh-come on, the others are probably waiting.” That caused Georgie to stop hiding his smile.

“Really?” Bill didn’t have time to respond before his suspicions were confirmed.

“Oh, come on!” Richie’s voice rang through the trees. “I’m not going to die, Eds! It’s a leaf, for fuck’s sake!” Bill grinned and began to quicken his pace in the direction of the shout, already able to see flashes of Richie’s eye-bleedingly bright Hawaiian T-shirt through the trees.

Bill was about to turn to Georgie to prompt him in the direction of the gang, but the boy was already bounding ahead, the strings of his yellow hoodie bobbing unevenly on his chest. It didn’t take him long to follow close behind. The scene he walked into was one that instantly caused his already wide smile to stretch impossibly wider.

Eddie was standing on a tree stump, pointing an accusing finger at Richie as he yelled something unintelligible about diseases and animal shit, hands fiddling weakly with his inhaler. Mike however, was his polar opposite, leaning forward and tapping his fingers on his thighs, eyes fixated on the object of Eddie’s discomfort.

“You can’t just eat leaves!” Eddie shrieked, “You’re going to give me a fucking asthma attack!” Ben was laughing so hard he could hardly make any noise, his shoulders shaking with frenzied giggles. Bill could practically hear Stan roll his eyes. Richie looked up at Georgie with the biggest shit-eating grin that he had ever seen, a leaf hanging from between his lips.

“Why are you eating a leaf?” Georgie questioned between giggles. Richie held up one finger, causing Eddie to gag.

“If you swallow it, you’re dead to me.” He threatened. Richie shrugged.

“I’m already dead if I eat this anyway, if what you say is true.” He managed to say around a mouthful of plant.Stan choked on the laughter he was holding back, letting it out in a sort of gasping bark.

“Suicide attempt,” he wheezed “I can see the headlines: Local boy killed by leaf.”

“T-Tragedy.” Bill agreed. Georgie was already at Richie’s side, peering curiously at the boy who was now doubled over, holding up his glasses with one hand to keep them from falling off.

“What’re you doing?” Richie made an exaggerated gulping noise and Eddie let out a high-pitched whine.

“Don’t you dare!” Eddie’s voice was nearing a screech now, sounding just a little more frantic. He turned his wide-eyed gaze to Stan. “Did he fucking swallow it?” Stan shook his head.

“Not yet.” Georgie’s eyebrows knit together.

“What’s he doing?” Mike chuckled.

“This loser,” He pointed to Richie, causing the accused to lay a hand over his heart dramatically. “Was pretending to lick a leaf, which, of course, set Eddie off.” Stan nodded, brushing a few stray curls behind his ear before continuing Mike’s narrative.

“And so Eddie’s ranting on and on about-” He laughed, cutting himself off. He had to brace himself against a tree until his frenzied giggles stopped. “About how you can get some disease-”

“Not a disease,” Eddie cut in. “Poison. Deadly poison.” Richie rolled his eyes dramatically and began to tip his head back. “SWEAR TO GOD, RICH!”

“Right,” Stan continued, “That. Anyway, that led to Richie saying, and I quote-” Richie grinned widely.

“I’ve got this one, my man.” Richie cleared his throat, but momentarily forgot that his mouth was full of leaves. This, of course, led to him inhaling a mouthful of leaves and gagging as one got stuck in his throat. Eddie instantly began prancing about on his stump whilst screaming:

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Richie hammered on his chest once and coughed feebly.

“I said-” He croaked. Bill cringed as something green dripped from Richie’s mouth. Richie followed Bill’s gaze and tried to wipe it from his chin with little success, leaving a bright smear across his jawline. “I said-” He tried again, only managing to make it worse, to everyone except Eddie’s amusement. “That-” A gob of something green was visible between his two front teeth. Georgie giggled, which of course, caused Richie to grin wider. Eddie gagged again. “That I could probably eat five of them and be fine, because they’d taste better than his Mom did last night.”

“Beep beep, Richie.” Mike warned, jutting his chin out in the direction of Georgie. Richie waved him off.

“He’s fine, right Georgie?”

“Yep!” Bill rolled his eyes and moved to sit beside Mike.

“How long’s huh-he been ch-chewing on those?” Mike flashed him a wide grin.

“Few minutes? Eddie can probably give you the time to the second.” They both leaned forward as Richie turned back to Eddie. “I wish we had popcorn.” Mike mumbled. Bill covered his mouth with his hand to hide his laughter.

“You know what,” Eddie threw his hands up in the air and stalked over to where Bill sat. “It’s your funeral.” This sent both Ben and Stan back into hysterics. Richie surveyed his audience with a gleam in his eyes that made Bill more than a little bit nervous. It was the signature Trashmouth look, the ‘Hey, look at me!’ sort of look he usually put on when he was about to do something stupid. Bill wasn’t wrong.

With a theatrical sort of flourish, he tipped his head back and swallowed the leaves in one gulp. Eddie looked like he wanted to scream.

“You’re disgusting.” He spat. Richie shrugged.

“Maybe so.” He licked his lips and Bill noticed that his tongue was tinted with a toxic looking green. “Still tasted better than your Mom did last night.” With that, he bent at the waist and bowed low, holding up his glasses with a green stained finger to keep them from falling off of his nose. Georgie applauded enthusiastically while Ben and Stan hooted their approval. Eddie glared at Richie until the giggles coming from the rest of the losers ceased.

“As much as I cherish every moment spent with you,” He growled. “I really hope this isn’t the reason you called me, and my mother while doing a god awful Mexican-”

“Pancho Vanilla, senor.” He corrected, but his smile faded with his next words. “No,” He broke off into nervous laughter. “God, I wish.” Something about Richie’s tone of voice made Bill’s stomach knot. He shifted his weight from one side to the other in a sort of nervous fashion as Richie wiped his tongue on his shirt and cleared his throat once more. “Can I wait ‘til Bev’s here?” He asked.

“Sh-She’s coming?” Richie nodded.

“Si, senor.” Mike leaned further back toward the tree he was propped up against.

“Depends if her psycho dad lets her come.” He pointed out. Georgie frowned.

“Psycho Dad?” He repeated uncertainly. Richie opened his mouth to respond, but Bill was quick to cut him off.

“Beep buh-beep, Richie.” They all knew Beverly’s home life was far from perfect, but Georgie didn’t need to know why she showed up with bruises on her arms some days, or with nasty gashes on her knees. They’d all seen the scars. All, that is, except for Georgie, and they intended to keep it that way.

“Ah, he couldn’t keep me away if he tried.” All eyes turned in the direction of the feminine voice, and they all pretended not to notice how Ben sat up just a little straighter.

“Bevvie!” Georgie was the first one to move, prancing through the trees to give her a hug. Bill would never say just how much he liked to hear her laugh.

“Hey, Georgie!” She said between melodic giggles. Bill watched as Georgie tugged her into the circle by the hem of her spotted summer top, oblivious to the eyes on him. Bev’s smile faded once she saw the solemn expression on Richie’s face. “Neibolt?” He nodded meekly.

“Wanted you to be here, but you’re here now, so…” Richie rubbed at the back of his neck nervously and coughed, causing Eddie to elbow Mike in the ribs. Bill managed to overhear Eddie saying something about how:

“He’s been poisoned, see?” Mike scoffed.

“Nah, he’s fine. Just nervous.” Bill’s stomach twisted unpleasantly upon hearing that Richie, of all people, was nervous

“Yuh-Yeah.” Bill agreed. Ben and Stan had both sobered up once Beverly appeared and sat at attention. Even Eddie had calmed down enough to take his eyes off of Richie as he sat next to Georgie, Beverly on the other side of the smaller boy.

“Do you want me to start?” Beverly asked, her questioning gaze connecting with Richie’s. Richie nodded.

“Si, Senorita.” She cuffed him on the shoulder playfully before turning her attention the ensemble.

“Okay, so. Neibolt street.” The clearing was silent as she gauged their reactions. Bill silently willed away the blush on his cheeks and the way her gaze made his thoughts blur together like the words that left his mouth. She laughed nervously. “Where do I even begin?” She stood and began to pace, nervously fiddling with the folds of her dress. “Everything inside was normal, I guess, for Neibolt. It was this idiot’s idea to go into the basement.” Richie let out a small squeak of indignance.

“Your idea.” He corrected. Beverly rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. We weren’t down there for very long anyway.” Richie slumped forward and averted his eyes, mumbling something that nobody could make out under his breath. “So, we’re walking around in the pitch-darkness, both of us bitching about our lack of flashlights when-”

Richie shuddered. “The fucking singing started.”

“Singing?” Stan asked, his voice showing how much he didn’t want to know, but also how much he knew somebody had to ask.

“Yeah, singing, if you can even call it that. It came from the well past the puppet room full of clowns.” Bill was surprised that Richie could even get the words out of his mouth from the way he was shaking. “It kinda, echoed…” He pushed his glasses up into his hairline and let out a groan. “Jesus.” He har to take a few deep breaths before continuing. George shifted over to him wide eyes, sidestepping Eddie in order to get closer. “We ran after hearing that shit, we didn’t even have to say anything to each other, we just kinda-” Richie searched for the right word for a moment. “Knew.” He settled with. “Like, dunno, we read each other’s minds or something.”  

“No,” Beverly corrected, moving to tug at Richie’s shirt. “We just fucking ran.”

“True.” Richie admitted. “God, I can still fucking hear it, just the tune.” Mike propped his chin on his hands, letting his feet shuffle nervously beneath him.

“Oranges and lemons…” Bill frowned, not wanting to acknowledge the prickling sort of anxiety sparking into existence in the back of his mind. Georgie, however, didn’t seem to mind. His gaze kept shooting from Richie back to Beverly, his questioning gaze lingering on them until they looked away. Bill knew he wanted to speak up, but also knew that he could sense the tension leaking off of all of them.

“Oranges and lemons?” He watched as Georgie tried to make eye-contact with the losers. “What does that even mean?”

“It’s a nursery rhyme.” Mike answered, his voice uncertain, as though he didn’t want to keep speaking. Bill knew the feeling well. He had enough problems with speaking to know. Every time somebody teased him for his stutter and he knew that defending himself would just make it worse, he still wanted to, just to prove them wrong. Every time he would stand in front of his Mother in the dining room, hands clenched into fists that quivered at his sides and his jaw so tightly shut, he thought it would break off from the tension. Every time he would open his mouth with her eyes on him, trying to make sense of all the noise.

He thrusts his fists

“It’s about churches.”

Against the posts

“How’s that scary?”

And still insists

“Look, when you hear it while in the basement of a house that could collapse at any given moment.”

He sees the ghosts

“It’s pretty fucking terrifying.” Bill could tell Richie was fighting hard to keep his voice under control. Even Eddie looked like he was showing the boy some sympathy, his gaze infinitely softer than it had been mere minutes ago. “We hardly even talked on the way back.”

“I cuh-can see why.” Silence descended in heavy waves in the barrens, not even the birds were singing as they all thought over the words that had been shared. It was crazy, really. Batshit insane, as Richie would not-so-delicately put it. Bill couldn’t say he disagreed. “D-Do you remember the tu-tune?”

The two who had been in the house paled and shared a glance.

“It’s just a song.” Richie reasoned. Beverly nodded.

“Right.” Beverly agreed. “Not like it can follow us.” She was the first one to start humming, and after a few bars, Richie joined in, adding his voice to the haunting melody. Bill felt the hairs on the back of his neck begin to stand on end as slowly, Mike began to try and add words, despite his lack of a proper tune.

Uneasy looks were shared between all of them, Richie and Bev’s eyes staying firmly squeezed shut, as if opening them would unleash an unspeakable evil onto the entire club. Bill wasn’t sure he disagreed with the notion, as insane as it sounded. Even after they had stopped, the notes seemed to linger in the air along with Mike’s uncertain words, leaving a near-electric sort of crackle in the air in its wake.

“That was…” Stan’s voice trailed off uncertainly. “Wow.” He settled with.

“Yeah.” Eddie’s voice cracked and he flushed beet red. “Shit.” He mumbled, rubbing idly at his left arm, not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes. Georgie was gripping Richie’s hand tightly and bouncing his knees.

“You can open your eyes.” The nervous way he was speaking made Bill feel a pang of sympathy. “Richie?” Richie slowly opened one eye.

“What, little dude?”

“Are you…” Georgie bit his lip. “Are you feeling okay?” He laid his hand on the other boy’s knee.

“I’m always okay!” He insisted. “It was just,” He shuddered violently. “God…”

“It’s over n-now.” Bll managed to get out. “You’re huh-here with uh-us. It’s suh-safe.” The others nodded in agreement.

“And if it isn’t, whatever was down there is getting the shit kicked out of it.” Bev cracked a smile at Mike’s words. Her green eyes widened and she blinked once, slowly, as if she was lost and just regaining her bearings. Bill offered her a small smile and tried to hide the flush his cheeks gained when she returned it.

Conversation was hesitant after that, the dark cloud of what had been said hanging over the small group, weighing on their shoulders with just how- real it was. Even Richie’s constant jokes couldn’t lighten the mood, no matter how many times he pinched Eddie, all he got were a few forced chuckles. Eddie hardly even reacted, just swatted him away and tried to refocus on the rest of the club. He ended up being the first to go, and before Bill had time to do so much as blink, he was walking his bike next to Georgie on the way home.

“They were pretty scared of that lemon song.” Georgie stated after a few moments of silence.

“Yuh-Yeah.” Bill agreed, shifting so he could push his hair back from where it hung on his forehead. “Let’s just guh-get home, okay?” He silently begged Georgie to grasp the change of topic, not wanting to have to tell him about the creature that they all knew was haunting the town of Derry.

“Okay, Billy!” Georgie chirped, straddling his blue bike. His yellow hoodie seemed to glow in the sunset, and Bill couldn’t help but smile. “Do you think Penny liked his popcorn?” Bill swung his legs over Silver’s back and began to pump.

“Puh-probably tastes better than wh-whatever’s in the sewer.” He panted between breaths. The steady clicking of Silver beneath him helped ease his mind.

“Sewer popcorn.” Georgie mused. Bill grinned at that.

“Gross.” Let the kid have his fun. After all, imaginary friends were harmless, and a clown in a sewer couldn’t be the worst thing in Derry.

[thornedmage-blog]

Amaryllis

@necro-mancers

‘Amaryllis, amaryllis, bring my love back to me... Amaryllis, amaryllis, halt my tears in my eyes... Amaryllis, amaryllis, they lie before me... Amaryllis, amaryllis, dead as the dead can be... Amaryllis, amaryllis, she lays before me... Amaryllis, amaryllis, bloated with air and gas... Amaryllis, amaryllis, why have you forsaken me? Amaryllis, amaryllis, why do my fingers squeeze? Amaryllis, amaryllis, awaken the monster in me... Amaryllis, amaryllis, oh prideful amaryllis... Keep the secret within me.’

Devil’s rhyme, that’s what he thought of such a chant. The words that fluttered through his skull made him dizzy and heavy. When had he heard that? The voices of children chanted and cried it once didn’t they? So long ago they had, he swore it, based off of a gentle flower. His fingers felt the silky petals of the plant that bloomed from the flower pot that rested on the bench before him. The greenhouse was hot, filtering the heat of the sun down, amplifying it for the bright colored plants that blossomed in such an elegant array. Red eyes were still for a moment, his mind wandering until--

“Elias? Are you okay?” He snapped back almost violently, nearly loosing his balance as he tottered onto the back of his heels. He caught himself, of course, long before his center of gravity could be thrown so far off that he can’t right himself. He looked to the source of the voice to see grassy hues watching him, burning red hair framing her pale face. He didn’t know what to say, there was a dull throb in his skull that he wasn’t sure he understood. “Yes... I’m fine, Chise...” He responded gently, his lack of facial features that could move like a human’s prevented the girl from seeing through the facade he held. What was that emotion in her eyes? He wasn’t sure... Was it... Concern? Perhaps. He never was able to understand human emotion...

The day went along as normal, with only the dull throb in his brain to be any indicator that the memory of unknown origin struck him. He hadn’t found himself all by his lonesome again until late that night, when the moon hung loosely in the sky, the fairy lights glistening in the distant branches of the forest. Reds, oranges, and blues gave way to purples and black, the stars that blinked to life seemed to be taunting him from their position in the sky. So perfect, so precise, pinpoints that knew all that they were and weren’t ever seen as-- He stopped himself as he walked beneath them, the grass gently dancing in the soft spring breeze.

He didn’t like leaving the bed this late, didn’t like leaving Chise like this, he didn’t enjoy passing Silky by as she watched on in concern, it was something that left a foul taste in his mouth, something that made him shrink back in shock and distaste. But there was nothing else he could do about it. Stepping upon the path he let the forest swallow him into the darkness, he vanished without a sign that he was ever out of that lost world to begin with. As he slipped deeper and deeper into the wilderness, the soft chant of children returned to his head. It was a pounding force, drilling into his brain, and he hated it. At some point it felt as though he could feel hands pressing upon the inside of his skull. They were trying to rip his head open, they had forced themselves out of his brain and now they were trying to claw out into the world.

Demons of memory with grins of illusion, they were going to kill him. That’s what it felt like-- but of course death would not come. At least not from something like this. There has been worse in this wretched life for him. Humans with arrows, spears, torches, screaming words of disdain and hatred. Chains that bound and spikes that ripped open skin and tore away muscle. Memories of leather binds that he couldn’t quite break out of as easily as he would’ve wished. The growing knot of his stomach tied itself tighter and tighter, he felt himself growing ill, what was this emotion!? He didn’t like it, and he could feel the shadows beginning to thicken around him.

Was that his magic or was it--

When he came back to the world, the lights were so bright... The fairy lights that glimmered in the night hurt his head but all the while he didn’t think he was asleep as he was sitting upright on a tree stump. Elias gazed about, disoriented, confused, a little pained at the thoughts that raced through his head. A trick truly! He was so distracted by his mind and the emotions they brought back that he hardly was paying attention to some stray spell or trick, perhaps this was revenge from the fae, or perhaps this was some mistake by nature... Perhaps it was a goddess that wished to forsake him for just existing.

Those thoughts were halted as he saw white hair catching the moonlight, the flowers in the beast’s hands melted suddenly into darkness and faded into the night. There was no reason to inspect, no reason to admire, only to watch. There was something far too wrong, far too distorted, his mind screamed that he should disappear not because he was frightened but because this would somehow be worse for him than he thought. Fight or flight, that’s what Chise had told him that feeling was. Anxiety and instinct. He wasn’t sure what he could say in order to get anywhere, time felt fake, the world was bending in his mind’s eye and it only made things worse. There was something terribly wrong here keeping him from clarity.

They aren’t human.

The thought screamed in his head and he almost recoiled but stopped himself-- he refused to show weakness. From the outside he looked as calm and collected as he always has and will.

[ask-the-phan-site]

Phan Cam: Talents

WARNING: This post may be a bit long.

>Wednesday.

>The fishing pond in Ichigaya.

This is the riverside Where lowlifes gather The ones stuck here All have foul mouths

Success is hidden behind the clouds here Our future and the sky are both gray

The air's dirty The water's just as bad My asthma's worse I'm feeling weak

A place even God wants to leave An experience I can see Only with my eyes

Can't live luxuriously It's choking me But it's my home

I won't give up, but I'll shout my name I made up my mind

So, what do ya think of my rhymes?

Uh... This isn’t technically a river. It’s a fishing pond.

Well, at least you’re honest.

>Miki Makimura, the proclaimed Witch of Track and Field from Kamigaku High School and a member of her school’s Women’s Stride Club, only came here to do some fishing. She and her team were in the city for the E.O.S. While she was here, she ran into Panther, Shiho, Rise, Nanako, Gwen, Kamala, Chloe, Iso, and (coincidentally) Becky. While they were fishing, these young men showed up, rapping, and getting in the girls’ way.

I doubt honesty is going to help right now.

Miki: Why are you here, Wamu? Did you come all the way here from our hometown just to see me?

Wamu: I needed an honest opinion and you were the first one that came to mind.

That, and we’re entering the Open Mike Nite at Dream FES.

And Kukun was starting to miss Miko Kuroda.

Kukun: ... Can we please call her by her real name?

(just shakes his head)

(does the same)

Still, it’s a good song. Now if you please, we’re busy. So can you please leave?

Wamu: Why? We still have some time before the show. Why don’t we have some fun?

(whispering to Gwen) Any ideas?

(whispering) We already outnumber them. Maybe we can get them to back off... But no using our powers.

(also whispering) That could be difficult. (begins nodding to Nanako)

... That man with the hat and necklace... Sounds like Big Bro.

I don’t think so. Senpai is a much better gentleman than this clown.

Wamu: Now I’m just hurt. Especially hearing it from Risette.

Is this guy just begging for it?

Wamu: Come on, I think we’re going to have a fine time.

>This is starting to look bad.

?????: Excuse me! I think they don’t want to spend time with you.

>They quickly turn to see the new comer at the pond.

Wamu: (unimpressed) Oh great, it’s the mermaid.

That’s right! The Mermaid from the Great Sea! ... And the Spider Queen!

Wamu’s gang: (except Kukun) Huh?

>Then, someone comes down from the fishing shop’s roof and grabs Wamu’s neck.

Kakun: Miki, wait!

>Quickly, she let’s go of Wamu’s neck.

Sorry. I guess I got caught in the moment.

Miki: Hey, Miko. You brought Akira.

Miko (real name: Miki): Picked him up from the train station as promised. Your family is here, too.

Miki: That’s great, thank you.

Miko: Good. And as for you boys...

Wamu: (clearly scared, but not showing it) Tch! Whatever. C’mon, guys, let’s grab a bite before the show.

Kukun: See you, tonight, Miki.

Miko: Looking forward to it, Mayuta.

>With that, Wamu and his gang leave while rapping. Me, Fox, Skull, Diego, Yu, Yosuke, and Teddie pass them as we come in.

Are you girls alright?

Panther: We’re fine.

I can’t believe they would gang up on girls just enjoying their day.

I agree. It’s so brave of Lady Ann to stand up to them like that.

Thanks.

Am I even going to ask why you’re wearing that, Teddie? It’s like 90 degrees out, and it’s almost night.

Teddie: Because the ladies just love the original Teddie. And it’s part of my act tonight. I’m the Singing and Dancing Magician. A 1... A 2... And a...

3!!!

Akira: That’s amazing! I applaud you!

Nanako: (also happy) I liked that, too.

Iso: (confused) Umm, he just jumped out his costume. Not really magic.

For Nanako, it might be.

I’m bearly happy to hear that from you, Sensei. And especially from you, too, Nana chan.

Diego: (unimpressed) Kiss up.

Anyway, we came to see if you’re ready. They want us for one last rehearsal before the show.

Miki: The show? You’re in the Open Mike Nite?

A lot of us are. I know I’m already a member of KUROFUNE, but one of the performances my friends are about to do still need me.

Becky: I see...

Just hope you remember your summer homework.

Could you not remind us. ‘Sides, I already finished mine.

You have!? You!? Ryuji Sakamoto!?

Skull: Well, Harry and Peter helped.

Becky: (actually relieved) Oh, I see.

Joker: Anyway, we should get going. Everyone’s waiting for us.

Panther: Hold on, I just cast my line. I’ll just-

>Suddenly, Panther’s fishing line started moving.

Panther: Looks like I just got something!

>We quickly helped Panther reel something out of the water... It was an old shopping cart.

Yikes!

Shiho: Guess that Wamu guy was right about one thing. This water isn’t exactly taken care of.

>So, we leave... I actually saw what happened... What the Miko girl did... I think about what happened earlier.

>Flashback...

>Me, Fox, Skull, and Diego were just exploring an unfamiliar part of the city our next break from Dream FES. Then suddenly, we heard something running. It sounded close. Curious, we just hid and saw what was running... It was Moyuru Koda. He was running real fast like an animal... Even the way he ran seemed inhuman. Then, he stopped.

Junichi, hurry up! We have to find it!

>Then, his boyfriend, Junichi Kotoba, finally caught up to him.

Slow down, Moyuru! I know you’re in a hurry, but it’s not going anywhere.

Koda: Sorry. It’s just- AHH!

>Koda quickly clutches his chest in pain.

Koda: It’s... It’s getting worse. We have to find it... Now!

Junichi: Koda, please. I’m sure it’s somewhere here. We looked it up in the directory.

Koda: But... Junichi... AHH!

>Koda was now really holding himself real tight.

Junichi: Moyuru?

Koda: Junichi... RUN!

>Junichi backs off as, to our horror... Koda’s shirt explodes away... To show a mouth.

WARNING: This next scene might be a little too much. But please don’t flag it.

Junichi: I’m not leaving you!

>Then, Koda changes.

>Junichi, however, refused to run. The thing that Koda turned into was now charging at him... But then he stopped. Junichi noticed that he was touching a some fence. Then, Koda changes back into a human.

Wh- What just...

>Junichi looks at the fence he just touched. Koda looked and saw an opening. They both look inside.

Koda: (in relief) We... We did it. We found it.

I know that place. I think I see it sometimes when I’m walking around the city for inspiration.

Skull: (a bit confused) Huh? What are you talkin’ about, Fox? I don’t see...

What the eff! A building just appeared in that lot!

>It is then, Koda and Junichi heard us.

Koda: What!?

Junichi: How did you...

???? and ????: Please, don’t get upset!

>We look to see the voice came from the building.

Diego: (a bit surprised) Yikes! Those two seem familiar.

>No doubt about it. These two young girls remind of Lavenza when she got split and became Caroline and Justine.

Blue-haired girl: (surprised) Oh my, you’re naked!

Pink-haired girl: (also surprised) You’re naked!

Koda: (realizing) Oh!

Junichi: Hold on, I have your spare clothes.

>After quickly getting dressed, Koda and Junichi follow the girls inside.

Blue-haired girl: You have to come in, too.

Pink-haired girl:  You come in, too.

Us?

????????: Is there anyone else around?

!

>As if they I was under a spell, I do what the twins say. My friends fallow. Inside, there are two more inside... I was surprised to see who they are.

Bet you thought you saw the last of us, didn’t you, Inmate?

It would seem that way.

You... Split again.

Blue-haired girl: (angry) Hey, you’re twins again because we’re here, aren’t you!?

Pink-haired girl: (also angry) Not cool.

Caroline: Sorry if we just wanted to have a little fun.

Justine: All joking aside...

>In a flash of light, the Velvet Twins were one again.

I’m here because the owner of this shop asked me to come.

Joker: The owner?

????????: She is talking about me.

>The two girls then open a door. We go inside.

Koda: Are... Are you the owner?

Man in kimono: I am. I am aware that you came here seeking me.

Koda: And you know why?

Man in kimono: From what Maru and Moro just saw, yes.

Koda: Then, can you help us? I’m sure that if anyone came at least control this... demon, you can.

Man in kimono: That depends. When people find this store, they think it is just a coincidence. However, there is no such thing as coincidences in this world. Only inevitably. You managed to find this shop... Because you have a wish that you really need to be granted... And I believe it has something to do with these four. That’s why Lavenza is here.

Joker: What do you mean?

Man in kimono: ... Tell me, what are your names?

Koda: You don’t know who I am? Or him? (points thumb at Skull)

Man in kimono: ... I don’t get out much.

Koda: ... Moyuru Koda.

Junichi: Junichi Kotoba.

Joker: Ren Amamiya.

Fox: Yusuke Kitagawa.

Skull: Ryuji Sakamoto.

Diego: Diego Mercury.

Man in kimono: (smiling) Diego Mercury... That’s not your real name.

Diego: Try to understand. There’s reason to why I use it.

Man in kimono: (still smiling) Very well. I shall respect it.

Joker: And what about you?

Man in kimono: ... Kimihiro Watanuki... And before you say anything, yes, my name means April 1, my birthday.

I see.

Watanuki: Koda, you came because you wish for me to remove the demon you have merged with.

Koda: Can you?

Watanuki: Perhaps. But you should know, I require compensation. No wish is free.

Koda: We’ll pay you any price if it means things will go back to the way they were... Hold on, I think I left my wallet outside.

Watanuki: I’m afraid money will not be needed. In this shop, the price must be of equal value. Something that you have that you love just as much as you wish for. (draws closer to Koda) What is it that you value more?

>As if to answer, Koda’s eyes... Turn to Junichi.

Watanuki: I see.

Koda: I love Junichi. More than anything... But can I really give it up for just one wish? The real reason for this is so I can be with him. To be with him, but gone...

Watanuki: The decision is only yours to make. If you are truly unsure... I shall give you time to think of it.

Skull: I still don’t know why we’re here. How do you even know Lavenza?

Lavenza: My master was good friends with the previous owner of this shop.

>She turns us to a portrait on the wall.

Lavenza: To many, she was the Space Time Witch, but to those who knew her, she was Yuuko Ichihara... Which is not her real name.

Fox: That does answer one question.

Watanuki: You four are here because I sensed that these two will need you in the future... And not just him.

Joker: What do you mean?

Watanuki: There are two others... Miki Kuroda and Akira Fudo.

Koda: I know those two. They go to Kamigaku High School and they’re members of the track team. What do they have to do with all this?

Watanuki: ... I have already told you all that I know. What lies after that is beyond even my powers.

Lavenza: Yes. The only person who would know is my master, the contract has already been fulfilled.

And he may not come back until Persona 6... If ATLUS decides to make it.

Koda: I see... I think.

Watanuki: The offer for the wish will stand until you make a decision. When you are ready, you know where to find me.

>Koda and Junichi nod.

Watanuki: And the four of you and your friends will make sure to keep an eye on them as well.

Joker: Us?

Lavenza: That is probably why I came. Because in case something happens...

The Trickster might be needed.

I understand.

>Koda and Junichi just stare... Then they realized something.

>We were now at the front door when they stopped us.

Koda: Hey!

Skull: What is it?

Koda: It’s... It’s about what you just saw and what you’ve been told...

Joker: It’s a secret. Don’t worry... We happen to have a secret of our own, so rest assure that it’ll be safe.

Koda: You’re secret? ... You mean that you guys are the Phantom Thieves?

What!?

Oh my!

Holy shit!

Diego: How did you know?

>Koda and Junichi just stare past us to Lavenza.

Koda: Call it a hunch.

Junichi: Then it’s a deal, we won’t tell your secret if you don’t tell ours.

Joker: ...

Sure, we’re down with that.

>The others agreed.

Koda: Really? That’s... That’s a calm way of agreeing.

Joker: I can sense that the love you two have is true and I know you don’t want to see it die. I know. Me and Yusuke are like that, too.

Fox: That’s true. (smiles a bit)

Joker: I know that you are a demon... But you have the heart of a human. That’s a rare sight. Usually the demons we face are... Difficult. But you’re different, Koda san. Be happy for that. I think it’s your love for Junichi that’s helping you now.

Koda: (unsure) Really? Last I checked, he lost a leg because of me.

>Junichi rolls up his pant sleeve to show a prosthetic leg.

Junichi: But I’m still a member of our track team. I finished my physical therapy with Moyuru’s help. Now I’m a running again, even though I was made the starter. But I don’t blame him for this. There were a lot of demons that appeared at the Black Sabbath. For all we know, anyone of them could have taken my leg and not Moyuru.

Koda: And what about that time I was unfaithful to you after? That guy is now in the hospital because of me.

Diego: What do you mean?

Koda: I overheard you talking with Black Panther and Thor. They probably told you about what happened a couple months ago. A gay prostitute was found with hug bite marks on his back in a hotel... That was me. I did that.

Joker: You did?

Koda: Don’t worry, he survived, but the sight of me turning into a demon turned his hair white from shock and now he’s in a vegetative state. They think it was an Inhuman. But I know the truth. I did that to him. Not because I’m an Inhuman... But because I’m a demon.

Joker: How do you know?

Koda: I was there when the Terrigen Mist came to Japan. I was exposed, but nothing happened. In fact, I didn’t become a demon until that night at the Sabbath while we were in America. And they just wrote that off as just things getting out of hand due to drugs.

Joker: I guess that’s good... Sort of.

Koda: Either way, I’m just thinking you need to be careful. There might come a day...

I’m sure it won’t come. Don’t worry.

>Koda gets closer to get a better look at me.

Koda: You don’t seem like the kind of person who would lie... So yeah, I guess... Thanks. I owe you.

>Koda has trust in me. And I can trust him with our secret.

I am thou, thou art I… Thou hast acquired a new vow.

It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh they chains of captivity.

With the birth of Balance Persona, I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power…

Confidant: Moyuru Koda

Arcana: Balance (This Arcana is made up for this Confidant.)

Rank: 1

Ability: Kawa

Allows you to visit Kawa High School, but only on days when Koda has practice.

>Skull’s phone rings. He checks it.

Skull: It’s a text from Keigo. He says they need us there for one last rehearsal before the show.

Junichi: Then I guest we should go.

Skull: Are you guys also in the Open Mike Nite?

Koda: Yeah, we already paid to use the Dream FES System. We’re doing a cover of one of DearDream’s songs.

Diego: I see.

Junichi: Are you guys entering, too? I know Ryuji san is already with KUROFUNE, but it never hurts to perform with your friends.

Skull: That’s right. We’re just performing a few song from Dancing in Starlight.

Diego: That reminds me, we promised we’d take the girls to the stadium on the way.

Joker: Yeah, Makoto, Haru, Futaba, and Akechi should be there by now. And the others. Yu, Yosuke, and Teddie said they would go to the fishing pond to get the girls with us.

Koda: We should go there, too. You go to your other friends.

Joker: Right. See you soon.

>With that, we leave the store. Koda and Junichi leave for Ikebukuro.

Skull: I still wish I knew how I couldn’t see that place at first.

Lavenza: You couldn’t see the shop because you have no need for it. However, your leader, in a way, does. And because you have such a strong bond with him, that allowed you to see it.

Skull: Really?

Fox: That would explain it...

Wait. Does this mean I have a wish that needs granting!?

Diego: And me?

Lavenza: ... You should hurry.

>She points to... A young strong woman and a skinny young man walking along. I recognize one of them.

Miko: Well it has to be here somewhere, Miki texted me.

Akira: I’m sure we’ll find it. There aren’t that many fishing ponds in this city.

Miko: I’m sure you’re right, Fudo. But it’s not like... Hold on.

>Miko listens carefully... Rapping and beat boxing.

Miko: Over there.

>She runs in the direction of the rapping... In the same manner as Koda did.

Akira: Hold on, I’m coming! (runs after her)

Diego: Isn’t that... The people Watanuki talked to us about?

Joker: Right, let’s go.

>We chase after them.

>End of flashback.

>The Dream FES stadium was filling up with people who will either be watching the Open Mike or entering.

>Backstage in the dressing room.

Alright! Is everyone ready?

Panther: Where is everyone else?

Skull: Yuto and Keigo don’t have to perform tonight, so they’ll be watchin’ from the VIP seats with the other idols and our royal guests. Harry, Peter, and the others are with them.

Where’s Kasumi chan?

Joker: She and her gymnastic club have their own act. She with them in another dressing room. As are Yu, Yosuke, and Teddie, and the other people performing. They have their own dressing rooms.

Queen: I see. I hope we see them, soon. I wonder what they’ve got in store.

I guess we’ll know soon.

Alright then, let’s get to it.

Everybody in?

Ready as we’ll ever be.

Diego: (looking a little down) Why don’t I like the sound of that?

>On stage, the MC comes.

Good evening, Tokyo! The Dream Festival proudly presents the Open Mike Nite! Now it’s your turn to shine tonight. We’ve got a fine line up for you. As always, I’m your MC. Joining me tonight to host with me are legendary idols. Give it up for Haruto Mikami, Rise Kujikawa, and Blue Rose!

>The crowd applauded.

Welcome, everyone, to Dream FES’s First Annual Open Mike Nite!

It may not be a contest this time, but we’ll tell you just how great you are at performing!

(sorry, but it should be small enough, so don’t flag) This Festival of Dreams will show all light. Now let’s get together and shine though the night!

MC: So true! Now, let’s move on with our first act. They came from the west, their rapping supreme. Just a few words to just make you scream!  Ladies and gentlemen, Wamu and the Gang!

>Wamu and his gang come on stage.

Wamu: Alright, Tokyo, get ready for the power of our rhymes! Our rhymes speak only the truth! Now, world, prepare!

>Wamu and his gang begin their rapping. After they finished, people applauded... Though, a little shaken by the words in their song.

Wamu: This next one is made by Kukun.

Kukun: This next song goes out to a very special lady. I’m sure she’ll like it.

>In the audience, Miko was intrigued... A memory washes over her... That day at the snapdragon garden.

DISCLAIMER: The following song belongs to its creator. Devilman Crybaby is the property of Go Nagai and Netflix. Please support the official release.

MC’s voice: That... Was... Super!

>Miko snaps back to the present.

MC: So, judges, what do you think?

Haruto: That first rap definitely speaks the truth. Our world may not be perfect, but it’s our job to change all that.

Rise: We have the Phantom Thieves to tell us that. And that second rap... That sounds more like a confession. Kukun, Mayuta, or whoever you wish to be called, you must really like this person.

Kukun: ... More than you know.

Blue Rose: That’s actually quite sweet of you. Just remember, sometimes, reality can be more painful. But don’t give up... I know I learned to live with such things.

Wamu: You mean with Wild-

Blue Rose: (quickly and angrily) Moving on! Next act.

MC: Out next performers made their first show at LMB. Now they’re here for all to see. Here to dance all night to the day. Give it up for Yu and Yosuke!

>Yu and Yosuke come on stage.

Yosuke: Don’t go easy on us just because we’re friends, Rise chan!

Rise: Don’t worry, Yosuke senpai, I’ll be as brutal as you want me to be... I’ll even put on a black shirt and start talking in a snobby British accent.

>No one could help but laugh at that joke.

Haruto: Now I believe you signed up to use the System. So everyone, ready your Dorika!

Yu: We actually have a surprise for you. For this year only, we have a new Dorika for you all!

>In the audience with Kagami Tsurugi and her party... Which at the moment consists of herself, young fashionista, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, her friend, Alya Cesaire, and their other friends, Mylene Haprele, Alix Kubdel, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Marc Anciel, Le Chien Kim, and Max Kante.

A new card?

>They searched the deck. They found it.

Tatsumi E.?

Yu: It’s short for Tatsumi Empire. Another up and coming designer like yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, for this one night only to debut his design, let’s welcome the creator of Tatsumi Empire, Kanji Tatsumi!

>Everyone applauded as a reluctant Kanji Tatsumi comes on stage.

Uh... Hi... I’m Kanji... And these are my... Designs.

Yosuke: (laughing a bit) C’mon, Kanji, that’s all you have to say?

Kanji: Sh- Shut up! I can say more. You’ll love my clothes! They’re super cool and really cute... They’ll give you diabetes!

Haruto: (a little confused) I’m not sure if that’s how the saying goes, but still I’m sure we’ll love it. Shall we?

Yu and Yosuke: Yes, let’s do it! Together!

Dorika Time!

Catch Your Cheers!

Yu: Behold, the truth!

Catch Your Cheers!

Yosuke: Now’s our chance! You ready?

Dancing All Night Series! Complete!

>Yu and Yosuke perform Backside of the TV (Lotus Juice Remix). It was one of the best performances the crowd has ever seen.

MC: That was a really awesome show, you two! I’d say you’d even give KUROFUNE a run for their money.

Yu: Not really. We’re just amateurs.

Haruto: Still, you two are such great talents. If you ever get tired of the physiology game or Junes, we have a place for you at D-Four.

Rise: Sorry, Haruto san, but my senpai are already spoken for by Takura.

Blue Rose: I don’t think it would matter... They could start their own productions if they wanted to.

Yosuke: Thanks, Blue Rose san, guess I know what I’m doing after college.

MC: And how is college coming along, Yosuke san?

Yosuke: ...

MC: Oops, that’s a little personal, so I’ll stop right there.

Yu: Anyway, thank you for seeing us tonight! Enjoy the rest of the show!

Yosuke: A- And don’t forget, the outfits we used are from Tatsumi Empire!

>They leave the stage.

MC: Are next act is also from the sticks. He claims to have some tricks. I hope you all are beary ready. Here he is, the Dancing Magician, Teddie!

>Teddie rolls on stage.

This performance goes out to all you lovely ladies out there. Now, my honeys, you Teddie Bear will now enter your hearts. Bring on the music!

>Teddie performs Likea Dream come True (Never More ver.).

And bear you have it.

MC: That was... Not like anything I’ve ever seen.

Rise: (unimpressed) Are you kidding? All he did was jump out of his suit.

Blue Rose: I agree. Anybody can do that.

Teddie: (unhappy) I’m hurt, Rise chan!

Haruto: But you have to admit, I can feel the energy from your dance. You should be happy about that.

Teddie: (cheered up a bit) Thank you, Haruto. You’re almost as generous as Sensei.

Haruto: You’re welcome... I think.

>Teddie leaves.

MC: Our next performers maybe strange, but they hope to fill the world with change. They maybe Inhumans and have powers, but tonight is their finest hour. Give it up for The Atyran Experience!

>With that, Haechi, Iso, Jaycen, Inferno, Chloe, and, to our surprise, Ms. Marvel, come on stage.

(vocals) I still can’t believe we let you talk us into this.

(drums) Come on, I think this might help with our relationship with the rest of the world.

Chloe: (keyboard) He’s right. And what could help with stuff like that than with music?

Iso: (guitar) You say that, but will it really work?

(also on guitar) It has to. Dante and Chloe had us work so hard.

(bass) Hope you’re right.

Haechi: (sighs in defeat) Fine. But don’t blame me if we screw up.

Chloe: That’s the spirit.

Inferno: We are The Atyran Experience and we’re here to foster peace between humans and Inhumans! 1! 2! 3! 4!

>The band begins playing. They’re not so bad. They even worked their powers in the act. At first, the audience, except for the Inhuman Royal Family, all our our friends, Chloe’s friends, Miki, Akira, Miko, Miki’s family, Phoebe, Coop, and the Tsurugi party, cheered little. But as the song went on, their cheers became more and louder. Then they finished. The whole crowd was applauding.

MC: That was The Atyran Experience, ladies and gentlemen!

Inferno: Sorry that this is the only song we know. We kinda came up with this on the fly.

Haurto: I see. You must be quite the genius to think of something like this on the go.

Inferno: I just have experience. I’ve played drums before.

Blue Rose: Experience can only get you so far. After that, you need skills. Then again, it really worked for Wild Tiger.

Rise: That’s right. Now he’s living a happy life with his husband.

Inferno: That’s good to hear... Though I doubt I’ll find my soulmate so soon.

Haechi: (now feeling real awkward) Can we finish this?

Rise: Anyways, you all did wonderful.

>With that, they leave.

MC: For our next act, he’ll get us fallin’ in love. Like stars, she shines above. Let’s now begin the show. Give a great welcome to DJ Nino!

>The audience applauded as Nino Lahiffe comes on stage.

For this performance, I asked my main boi to perform the dancing part of it. Let’s hear it for Adrien Agreste!

>The audience (especially the girls) cheered as Adrien Agreste comes on stage.

I guess I’m up for it. The question is... Who am I dancing with?

Nino: I’ve already figured that... It’s the cure girl the pigtails between Alya and Kagami.

Marinette: (freaking out) What!? Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!

I’m going to have to talk to Nino later.

>Marinette reluctantly gets on stage.

Nino: Alright, now that that’s done, let’s kick this party into overdrive!

>Nino performs DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love with Marinette and Adrien dancing together. When they were done, the audience really cheered.

Haruto: Now they look like such a great couple.

Rise: 可愛い！Just like me and Senpai!

Blue Rose: They do make such a good team... Just like Ladybug and Cat Noir.

>Marinette and Adrien are just left silent. She returns to her seat.

MC: Our next performance, Adrien is in it. They have name that can get you to dig it. They came from Paris, France. Let their song really get you to dance. Kitty Section!1

Rose Lavillant: Evening everyone, our name is Kitty Section!

Go for it, Kitty Section! You’ve got this in the bag!

Remember, Kim, this isn’t a contest.

I love you, Ivan!

Marc: I’m really looking forward to this.

Nathaniel: So am I... I wonder if I should ask Blue Rose to tell Origami Cyclone I said hi.

Rose: Let’s start the show! One, two three!

>Kitty Section with Adrien play I Love Unicorns (2.0).

MC: That was Kitty Section! Now let’s see what our idols have to say.

Haruto: I think it was great. You don’t see something like this with just any rock group. You guys have a style on your own.

Luka Couffaine: You actually have Marinette to thank for that. She designs our costumes.

>A spot light shines on Marinette. She blushes.

Juleka Couffaine: Yeah, they’re so awesome.

Ivan Bruel: Real awesome.

Rose: We’re Kitty Section!

Kitty Section: Thank you and good night!

>The crowd cheered as they left and the MC returns.

MC: The next up is Inhuman, too. But his time with us ain’t through.

>The next act comes up.

Diego: Hey Joker, it’s that bouncer we see in Shibuya sometimes. I didn’t know he was an Inhuman.

MC: I didn’t know you were an Inhuman. And you work as a bouncer in Shibuya.

Bouncer: You’d be surprised by what you learn about me.

>Then, a third eye opens on the bouncer’s forehead. Then, he shout some light out of it and a sculpture of a building appeared where it hit. He hits it again and it disappears.

Bouncer: Relax, that only happens on stuff my third eye creates. If I use it on anything or anyone else, nothing will happen.

MC: That’s good to hear.

Bouncer: But here’s someone I didn’t create. He offered to help with my performance. He’ll be DJing my act.

MC: Really? Who would that be?

????????: That would be yours truly.

>The crowd was shocked to see who just appeared.

Bet you didn’t know that apart from being a superhero, I’m also a great DJ... Almost as great as Nino.

Alya: (whispering, but now real upset) Now I’m really going to have a word with him later.

Bouncer: Now, let’s get this show on the road!

>With that, the bouncer and Carapace perform Heartless. The bouncer uses his power to add visuals. The audience was amazed.

MC: Spectacular! Really Spectacular!

Haruto: I must say, I’m impressed. The Atryan Experience used their powers in their act, and so did you.

Rise: That’s true. You made us feel like we were actually inside the song.

Blue Rose: I know I’ve used my powers in my shows, too, but this is just one of the greatest I have ever seen. Have you tried going to Sterbild to join Hero TV?

Bouncer: There’s just a couple of things wrong with that. First, I’m not a NEXT, I’m an Inhuman. And second, I don’t think the other Inhumans would be happy about that.

I do not see any harm in it. Though, we will have to see if you will be safe there. What do you think, Blackbolt?

(just nods, he agrees)

Bouncer: Well, that’s my show. Thank you, Tokyo!

>The bouncer and Carapace get off stage.

MC: Are next performers are from Neo Yokio. Think we should give them a go? They’ll give you glamour and all that jazz. Let’s give a welcome to Arcangelo and Kaz!

>The crowd cheered as the two Neo Yokioians came on stage.

Now this is just a great turn out. Is that right, Kaz Kaan?

Yeah... (whisper) Why am I up here with you?

Arcangelo Corelli: Because Aunt Agatha said so.

Kaz Kaan: (melancholy as usual) Right. I can’t believe I’m doing this... Did Charles tell you that story he told me on Christmas?

Arcangelo Corelli: ... Maybe. (smiling) Now, shall we (you pink-haired prince)?

>Kaz Kaan just grimaces, but agrees. They begin performing Friend Like U.

NOTE: This song was made originally for Christmas. So some of the lyric have been altered for Dream FES. Example: “I’m only rappin’ for you ‘cause it’s Christmas” will sound like “I’m only rappin’ for you ‘cause it’s Dream FES”.

>After the song, the crowd cheered. Mostly the girls for Arcangelo Corelli. Not that there weren’t any for Kaz Kaan.

Blue Rose: You two are suppose to be from an alternate version of the city I’m from, right?

Arcangelo Corelli: Neo Yokio may not be a city of heroes, but we are a city of glory.

Haruto: Seems like it. You guys have a flare that just won’t go out. I admire that.

Rise: But sometimes, it doesn’t take much to fall from glory. Just watch your step.

Kaz Kaan: That’s sound advice... (whispers to himself) Kind of reminds me of Helena.

MC: Anyway, let’s thank Arcangelo and Kaz for joining us here tonight!

>The audience applauded as they leave the stage.

MC: The next act are by locals, but their skill are just beyond. Though one of them’s already with KUROFUNE, they have a strong bond. These guys are just without end. Please welcome, Ryuji and friends!

>The crowd goes wild as we come on stage.

Skull: Good evenin’, Tokyo! How you all doin’?

>They cheer.

Skull: Though I’m already with KUROFUNE, it never hurts to perform on stage with your friends, right?

Joker: I’m just happy to be here tonight.

Fox: I’m more of an artist, but for tonight and for my friends, I am willing to dance!

Diego: Time to shine and light the stage!

Crow: As am I!

MC: I see even the Detective Prince wants in on the action.

Crow: Just something I do on the side. Ryuji san is my best friend after all.

You know it, buddy!

Indeed, I do.

MC: Now from what I’ve heard, you will be using the Dream FES System.

Diego: Except for me and Akechi. We’re good as is.

MC: I see. Performing with people who are using the system, how bold. So, shall we get this show started?

>The crowd cheered.

Then let us begin!

Tonight, we’ll show Life Will Change!

Dorika Time!

>In the VIP seats.

Hey look, new cards have been added. Look.

NOTE: I apologize for the use of the ATLUS logo. They are the original creators of the clothes.

This looks cool.

These look just like the ones they wore in the original Dancing in Starlight videos.

I think that’s the point.

Clever.

A little over used, but okay.

I think they’re good. Can’t really beat the classics.

You sound like my dad. But it’s not far off.

I think I’m starting to understand why Stark is interested in the Dream Festival System. There’s almost no limit to this.

Just try not to go over board over it. Remember the conversation?

>Harry, Alistaire, and John all blush.

Ollie, there’s a time and place for everything. This is not one of them.

Ollie: (surprised) Oh, I’m sorry.

What do you mean?

I’ll tell you later.

>Then, Aleksei walks up to Flash and, to everyone’s shock, lifts him by the shirt.

Now, Friend Flash, I’m sure the last thing you want is to embarrass your friends by revealing their secrets for everyone to hear. And I’m sure you wouldn’t like your secrets to be revealed. Would you?

Flash: (a little shaken) N- No.

Aleksei: And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see me upset about seeming friends embarrassed. Because if you think the Hulk’s temper is bad... Do you want to see what happens when you anger a rhino?

Flash: N- No.

Aleksei: Then, what are we going to do?

Flash: Keep it quiet.

Aleksei: (putting flash back down) Very good.

Flash: (thinking to himself) Damn Russian Rhino.

Harry: Wow, Aleksei, I didn’t know-

Aleksei: (worried) Oh no, we better hurry. Dorika Time is almost over.

Harry: Never mind.

Is he always like this?

Peter: Depends on the situation.

>They load the cards and launch the cards in the air and at the stage.

Catch Your Cheers!

Skull: Ima gonna charge into your hearts!

Catch Your Cheers!

Joker: I seek the Treasure within!

Catch Your Cheers!

Fox: The beauty of tonight will show!

(Reminder: The following images are not in violation of the Tumblr policy as they do not actually contain sensitive or adult contain. They only show the upper half. Please do not flag.)

Dancing in Starlight Series! Complete!

(I also apologize for the transformation end scene. Still not a good artist.)

>We perform Life Will Change. We reworked it so that Diego, who is in human form, and Crow can dancing too. This includes recording the song ahead of time since we usually play the song live (with me on guitar and vocals, Fox on bass, Skull on drums, and Diego on keyboard)... Well, I warned them about my singing.

MC: (after we finsihed our song and he is surprised) Wow! They weren’t kidding when they told you you sound like Lyn Inaizumi! How is that even possible!

Ask ATLUS.

Haruto: Actually, we can work on that. If you ever get tired of the barista game, you might have a place with us at D-Four. Especially if Ryuji san makes it into the Top Three.

I’ll think about it.

Fox: Actually, I’d rather work on the art of the CD. I actually have a few ideas.

Blue Rose: I’m sure you do. Actually, I’m about to release a new CD soon and we could use an artist of your talent.

Fox: I’ll be sure to consider it.

Rise: And Diego, that move just now... Just like a cat and not like some bear I know.

Teddie’s voice from backstage: Teddie discrimination isn’t cool at all!

Haruto: Anyway, I”m starting to think why Harry Osborn considered you as an idol. You might even make it to the Top Three. Good luck, Ryuji san!

I won’t let you down, Haruto san! And that goes double for KUROFUNE and my friends and family!

We love you, Ryu kun!

Skull: I keep saying...

Ah, screw it! I love you too, Mom!

I think you’ve finally made him like the pet name.

Mrs. Sakamoto: He already did. (makes a satisfied smile)

Skull: Alright, MC, our other friends are here, too. give ‘em great intro.

>We got off stage.

MC: Alright, Ryuji, I’ll welcome the girls. Their song will reach the whole world. Their appearance alone is just what we all prize. Here they come, Last Surprise!

>Everyone, mostly the men, cheered as Panther, Queen, Oracle, and Noir came on stage.

This next song is where we got our name.

It’s fitting since we are unpredictable.

Don’t bother getting ready for us.

Because nothing can prepare you for what we have in store.

Panther, Queen, Oracle, and Noir: You’ll never see it coming!

>With that, they perform Last Surprise. Good thing they’re using their regular Dancing in Starlight costumes. The press would have a field day and the men would lose themselves in their other outfits.

Rise: Amazing! Makes me wish me and my girlfriends did that in LMB.

Oracle: Maybe the next time we meet. We might set up something at our school.

(from here seat) Why me?

Well, at least things won’t be dull.

Blue Rose: Actually, I should get my own girlfriends to try a show with me. Since Kotetsu and Barnaby have their hands full these days.

Rise: Will Dragon Kid be alright with that?

Haruto: She will if you tell her that it’s for training.

Blue Rose: I’ll have to think about it. Anyway, you all did a wonderful show. I hope to see you perform again soon.

>The girls bow happily and leave the stage... They walk past Koda and Junichi.

Junichi: Are you ready? We’re next.

Koda: (worried) A little.

Junichi: (putting an arm around Koda) Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.

Koda: I know... I’m starting to wonder if I should have taken Watanuki’s offer.

Junichi: Are you? Are you going to take it?

Koda: ... I’m still thinking about it.

Junichi: Well, whatever you choose... I’ll never stop loving you.

Koda: ... I know. Thank you, Junichi.

>What they don’t know is that I watched this. I think I understand Koda a little more.

Rank Up!

Confidant: Moyuru Koda

Arcana: Balance

Rank: 2

MC’s voice: Next is the super student and his partner true. Nothing can tear these two. Give it up for Moyuru Koda and Junichi Kotoba!

Junichi: (smiling) Come on. Let’s do this.

Koda: (smiling confidently) Yes. Together.

>With that, they come on stage.

Koda: Good evening, Tokyo! Now before we begin, let me set something straight: No, we’re not exactly here for the End of Summer. I mean, we might see it, but we’re not in it. Our school doesn’t even have a Stride Club.

Junichi: We thought of starting one, but we could never find the time.

MC: Maybe you’ll have time after this. You never know.

Koda: I see. We’ll think about it. Right now, we’re here for this night. And we enter a world of dreams and light.

Junichi: I even paid on the fly that we can use the System. So we can make this night even more awesome.

Koda: You really paid a lot of money for me? That’s so sweet of you.

Junichi: Thank you.

MC: Indeed it is... Japan really needs more couples like this no matter the gender.

Koda: Now, let’s do this together!

Junichi: And together, we will purify the darkness in your hearts.

Koda: Cast out the demons that plague your minds.

Koda and Junichi: We will go forward with NEW STAR EVOLUTION!

Dorika Time!

Catch Your Cheers!

Koda: How fitting. Let’s go for it!

Junichi: Evolution is part of the future. And us!

(Reminder: The following images are not in violation of the Tumblr policy as they do not actually contain sensitive or adult contain. They only show the upper half. Please do not flag.)

>They change clothes.

Dear Future Series! Complete!

>They perform NEW STAR EVOLUTION.

MC: (after song) That was absolutely marvelous!

Haruto: That was quite the show. You should take a leap from Ryuji san and Galaxy Standard. You can be idols and athletes.

Koda: Thanks, but we should be fine. Sorry, Kanade kun.

It’s okay, Koda san. We know you have your reasons. But just in case you change your mind, give me a call. Okay?

Koda: (smiling) Yeah, I’m sure

Rise: Still, you have such talent. No wonder you’re the Super High Schooler. But you’re still you. You should be happy for that.

Koda: Yeah...

Blue Rose: And you’re in a gay relationship. That also makes you quite modern.

Junichi: Well, if Kotetsu and Barnaby can do it, so can we.

Koda: Yeah... (embraces Junichi tearfully) I love you, Junichi!

Junichi: (smliling) I love you, too, Moyuru.

>The two men kissed. The whole audience cheered wildly. They leave the stage.

MC: How beautiful. Now, for your next act...

>While the other acts were on stage, I meet up with Royal to see how her performance was coming along. I saw they has set up a huge bucket over the stage.

Joker: What’s in the bucket?

Royal: Gold glitter. We got the idea from Flashdance and Elvira. Near the end of the song, I’ll douse myself in it. It will be spectacular.

Joker: I see...

Just hope they don’t think you ripped it off.

Gymnast 1: Hey, are we ready? They’re about to call us soon.

Royal: Yes. I think we are.

Gymnast 2: Then let’s get started.

>They leave to get ready for the final act... Suddenly, I hear something above.

Joker: ?

>I look up and I’m sure I see a shadow headed for the bucket. I use my Third Eye to see what was going on. It looked like they had a hood up, so even I had trouble seeing what was under it... I see I’m not the only one who noticed.

Carapace: I see why you’re friends with Spider-Man. You’re quite the spotter.

We’re not done talking! But yeah, that looks suspicious.

Want to take a look?

>We go up. Carapace smiles as two more shadows appear.

>On stage.

MC: Our last act for the night will surly be a sight. They dancing with the rhythm is seems. Makes you feel like you’re in a dream. Let’s welcome the Shujin Gymnastic Team!

>Royal and her team come on stage.

Royal: This is the first time we’re doing something like this. We hope you will enjoy it.

>With that, they perform the iconic Maniac.

>On the catwalk above the stage. Me, Rena Rouge, and Carapace get close to the hooded figure. Using my Third Eye again, I finally see who it is.

Call me a boy, would you!? You’re lucky I can’t chop you down because then that bleached bitch and that crap Canadian will come after me. So I’ll take a leap from the Elvira movie you talked about.

>Roxie Ritcher, the artist/half ninja and Ramona Flowers’s 4th Evil Ex, was also holding a bucket of what was unmistakably tar and feathered pillows. We step in.

Rena Rouge: Don’t even think about it, Ritcher!

Roxie: Back off, Volpina! You, Shell Shocker, and this geek who could pass off as a Japanese version of Gideon have nothing to do with this.

Rena Rouge: That’s Rena Rouge! I’m not Layla!

Carapace: See, this is what I was going to say. I got a message from an anonymous source that there was going to be trouble here at Dream FES. Guess they were right.

Roxie: Well, it doesn’t matter. Unlike the last time... I didn’t come alone.

>Suddenly, someone rushes between us.

やめて、パンク！ 近づかないでください！

>Rena Rouge gets out her flute, Carapace takes his shield, and I draw my gun.

????: The flute and shield we can buy, but a model gun that only shoots pellets is useless.

???: True. But I guess you work with what you can. I fear what is becoming of our country.

>The two more people come in.

Kyle: Normally, we don’t fight on our own.

Ken: We let a robot do that.

Roxie: (upset.. er) Yeah, well normally, I don’t rely on men for help! But you were the only ones available in my contacts.

Kyle: ... I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.

Carapace: Good... Because we’d like to introduce you to our own back up.

>Suddenly, two more people swoop down and take out the ninja.

Roxie: Great, now we have to deal with the bug and the cat.

>The two figures show themselves.

More like spider and bird.

Yeah, those two may be Paris’s greatest heroes, but we’re Earth’s mightiest heroes.

>Both Roxie and the K. Twins back off.

Roxie: I only wanted to teach that Yoshizawa bitch a lesson because she mistook me for a boy and humiliated me in the middle of Kichijoji. I’m not giving up! I’ll get her soon enough... And you’ll see her for what she truly is.

>She was eyeing me. Then, in a puff of smoke, she was gone.

Kyle: By the way, how did you even find out about out plan?

Hawkeye: Don’t you know? We’re the Avengers. We practically know everything.

Black Widow: That, and a little thing called the Internet.

>Black Widow takes out a phone to show... that Ken had posted the plans on his blog.

Kyle: (irritated) Ken?

Ken: ... Alright, so I couldn’t help it. I really wanted to show up those damn twins from Ouran Academy.

Kyle: Well, can’t really argue with that. Very well, until we meet again.

>With that, the K. Twins leave.

Black Widow: Well, that should take care of things. Thanks, Carapace. Your skills with a shield might even rival Captain America’s.

Carapace: Really?

Black Widow: ... Not really.

Hawkeye: Stung. Though, I wish I new what she meant by what she just said.

That would be spoiling it. 

Black Widow: Right, not until Halloween. Still, I think we should keep an eye out. Thank you, Carapace, Rena Rouge. As well as you, Ren Amamiya. You’re a good friend to Parker and Osborn.

>I nod and Black Widow and Hawkeye leave.

Rena Rouge: The performance is about to end. We should head back... And we still have to talk.

Carapace: I already told you. Besides, I doubt someone like Hawk Moth watches Dream FES.

Rena Rouge: We’ll see. Oh, and Ren Amamiya... I hope your friend makes it in the Top Three.

Thank you.

>With that, we leave the catwalk.

>Back on stage, Royal and her team finisher their performance with Royal dumping glitter on herself.

MC: AMAZING! Aren’t they great? Aren’t they spectacular?

>The crowd cheered loudly.

Haruto: I know it’s already been done, but they was no doubt a really great show. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Royal: You think so?

Rise: Absolutely. If this were the Olympics, you would totally get a gold medal.

Royal: I’m sure... Just as long as we don’t end up like a certain gym teacher.

>Cricket sounds.

Royal: (turning red) I’m sorry! That was in poor taste!

Blue Rose: You just made a mistake. We all do. Still, we love your performance. Thank you.

Royal: You’re welcome, Blue Rose san!

>Royal and her team bow. Then, the MC comes back on stage.

MC: Let’s welcome back the other talents that showed up tonight, shall we?

>The audience cheered as we came on stage with the other performers of the night. We bow to them.

MC: Well, that’s our show for the night. Remember, our grand finale is this Saturday. That night, we will be holding our competition to see which Rookie Idol will make their CD debut and our final song for this year’s Dream Festival.

>The crowed went wild.

MC: Well, until then everyone, this is your MC saying thank you and goodnight!

>The audience applauded.

>We’re so close to the end... Skull, good luck, brother.

[fanbun]

(previous part - 19)

But now, on a more personal note, we’d just like to let you know that Kidtronic actually loved his little sister Anica very much, he just had difficulty showing it sometimes, kind of like those traditional father-son relationships, you know. He began to soften up more and more as his human side developed and he even agreed to let her rhyme on some of their tracks. Their biggest break-through was when Anica saw a tag Kidtronic had scribbled on somebodies nice wall which read: ‘BLOOD-NOSE PUSSY-BOY’, and asked him if she could use it as the name for her album she was buzy working on. This really warmed his heart and he told her that he would even make the beats for the album if she wanted and then gave her a big hug but then Kidtronic suddenly felt this wierd sensation below his waist.

“WHAT THE HECK…” he cried jumping back as Mr Rockadopolis popped his little green head out from Anica’s tummy pouch. They then found out that Mr Rockadopolis could rhyme too and asked him if he wanted to kick a little something on the next track they were about to put out.

SUPER-PSYCHE

The inhabitants of The Ziggurat got quite a big surprize when they found out that the perfect world they had been living in for so long was infact a giant people-trap, capable of inter-dimentional travel and that The Constructus Corporation and the majority of it’s employees were actually shape-shifting demons from the Nether Realm who had come to Earth to harvest Souls, which are these little things that eat light, situated just below your cerebal cortex. Certain people already sort of knew what was going on and were primed for the great awakening that followed but the majority of the inhabitants lost the plot and exploded into an emotionally chaotic state-of-emergency. The people that were ready to wake up, woke up while the people who were still sleepy scrambled for their sanity as the nightmare they were living in got revealed.

there’s no fuckin stoppin this, mr rockadopolis sneaks through enigmatic, ominous, anonymous there’s no fuckin stoppin this, mr rockadopolis speaks to everyone from governers to commoners

don’t mind me, i’m not actually here no-ones sticking sneaky little goggas in your ear that crawl around inside your head, eating up your brain maybe you want to go away, come back another day cats aren’t ready i’m stuck in five years time hologram on the mic like someone pressed rewind rip open my chest and flex my blessed design get all up in your system like some pesticide electrify when i testify, would the next in line please step inside dissinfect your mind, make sure that you don’t get left behind electronic, symphonic, melodic, exotic harmonics steady exorcize melancholic, demonic robotics this megalomaniac likes to think sick things devil cruncher sent to earth to eat weak links rupture metal mental structure, defeat kings humans… activate your super-psyche

it’s the boom band back with a bang metatron stand strong with the mic in his hand extracting funk from the ether, to pump through your speaker i’mna summon a governer fuck being a commoner stuck in a rut with no possible way out woo… johnny be bad in the mental doctor wanna take away mechanical pencil stick sick spell to piece of paper cos the people need some flavour lazer-beam focus as evil meets its maker hey; check out my nifty new receptors bonafide prototypes imported from planet zector vectors need to step inside my sector and get some love from my sexy purple velvet glove i’ll help you to experience beautiful, strange feelings stand on the ceiling look down at you like a stalactite baby, won’t you be my stalagmite tonight, let’s unite humans… activate your super-psyche

fuck law and order, i walk apon the water eliminating small-fry like alcoholic bad guys dream-walker rupture reality with war-cry constructus brings the motherfuckin raw vibe where am i, uh… verse three, line one, two, three, four …five yessir everything is gonna be alright um… too much tv gives you sore eyes what else um… oh ja, the nazi’s invented flouride i’m kak serious bru, we not as needy as you we just need food, clothes and shelter plus a little pocket money so that we don’t have to ask for shit and keep making art for a living till the fat bitch croaks back foul beast… back from whence you came crush the pyramid, i’m living it, never giving in i practice in the blackness listening to the drummer drumming humming… hmmm…. humming something i’m becomming

blah blah blah, i’m not that easy to see floating like whhhh… silently from tree to tree don’t bother me, my master made me in his laboratory spliced his own jeans with flying frog jeans original clone number one with webbed hands and webbed feet sticky soles and finger tips, freaky deaky goals sneaky, false when i need to be, eeny meeny mino mo, catch a nigga by his toe and he’ll make you wish that you hadn’t

(next part - 21)

[metallikca]

There was once two brothers, bound by mother, and father’s blood,  drowned in sorrow, in pain,  yet still believing in their parent’s love. One brother, the elder, so strong, but so scared. Because losing his brother, yeah.. He wasn’t prepared. So he sold his soul, and his brother did live, and now he’s not whole, One year he’s been given. So strong, yet standoffish, aloof, that was his way. and yet within this way of his, he lost the will to stay. Gave up on his life, just so his brother could live, never thought about what, his brother would give… Now the second brother, younger by years, couldn’t live without Dean, his eyes full of tears. Their father had saved Dean,  by selling his soul, to the demon who beamed, because the deal was so foul. His father, not thinking, made a deal for his son, because he couldn’t bear the thought, of his boys becoming only one. This younger brother, his life was quite wrecked, when he found out his brother, had sold his soul to death. He cried, so vulnerable, but only in the night, because he knew his older brother, couldn’t bear the sight. He died inside each day, as the year his brother was given passed faster than he’d say, but his brother was forgiven. He didn’t hold a grudge, no, he held merely pain, he prayed each day, to the God above, for a miracle, in vain. He tried so hard to live, and made his brother, too, live life to their fullest,  while their lives reduced. “Sam,” his brother beckoned, “come here to me, brother, and remember all we’ve lost, our Father, our Mother… but it’s all in the past. Don’t fret about me, Sam, it will all be okay, ” Dean said, as his voice broke and cracked, “I don’t give a damn!” Sam cried as his composure crumbled at last, “Dean, don’t say anything, about ‘after I’m gone’ because I’ll make damn sure, your life will be long. "Dean, Please don’t worry, I won’t be okay, but I’ll still keep thinking of you, every single day. "Dean, my brother, please don’t let me go, we’ll get your soul back, We will make it so. "Sam, don’t worry about it, it’s already gone, I know you’re scared,  but you won’t be for long. "Sammy, little brother, I vowed to protect you, I vowed it to our father, he probably didn’t know what I’d do… "But when I see him down there, even though he’ll be pissed, I’ll tell him you’re okay, Sammy we were all meant for this. "Sammy, please continue, to fight the evil in the world, and keep on fighting the evil, keep helping it be purged. "Sam, please remember, I was never just afraid, I was terrified of when I’m gone, I knew you’d never be the same.” So Dean left a note for Sammy, His little brother, the only one, left of his once-happy family, now reduced to nearly none. So Sammy went after Dean, and the demon he had dealt with, he shot that bitch in the head, he tried to brake the deal, yet… as the year persisted,  and the deal seemed the same, and poor little Sammy cried, every time he felt the pain. He lashed out, he yelled, he couldn’t take the sorrow, of what his brother had told him, would be done after the year goes Dean’s soul, he knew he now had none, bound it by a demon contract. Sam’s soul, he knew, is a tainted one, and he found no way yet to break the pact.

@violinmyhead  “Two Brothers” (Sorry it’s not the best as far as rhyming and rhythm goes, but eh, I’m just writing. I still think it turned out okay/)

[vilewrought]

He exhales, a slow wind of his shoulder, cane catching a glint of light from his stolen arm. The only light found here. “ a raven can sense death — even if it clings to a life it once knew. “ lips curl, flashing teeth as he tips his head, an acknowledgment of sorts. The demon upon his shoulder watches steadily perched as though she is ready for flight. “ you were once revered my lady. . Tell me why that must end. . When you could be hailed again ? “

          HIS PRESENCE WAS NOTED,     and greeted with a small bow of the head. Friend or foe, she’d still be polite. She tended not to waste her time with trying to make someone feel uncomfortable around her. Maria glanced around, giving each raven a brief glance. Pesky things, those birds --- always spying with their beady eyes.      “ I should like to know what these ravens feel around me, then. “ the Huntress spoke out, returning her full attention to the Noxian. Maria didn’t cling to life, she was simply forced into keeping it. There was a reason she had attempted to rid herself of this nightmare once before. Now, unfortunately, it was futile. She was forced to live a long life of misfortune and misery. 

“ Revered, yes... “  she sighed, the word almost getting caught on the tip of her tongue. Revered for all the wrong reasons.  “ The idea of being hailed once more is sickening, “  the watcher admitted, lips pursing in discomfort. “ This world has been drowned in corruption. Everyone and everything has so drastically changed since the beginning of this Nightmare. There is no longer a purpose... no rhyme nor rhythm to this dream. I, myself, have been laid waste to the ways of blood and it’s foul magic. There is no saving us now. “

[fromtheriverbanks]

Lyrics for Batts by The Uncluded

My feet hang off of every bed I ever slept on Catch less Z's more f-bombs (fuck) Invaders from the north brought a body in the trunk

With four cold eyes ushering a Johnstown flood Too known too dumbstruck Plainclothes sputtering A strange home spine-chilling cluster to unfuck Sup sup all steady with little magic No checked bags show up with the most baggage Fresh hell dragging old hell up from holed rabbits From mangled emotion and gross patterns No carrots only rumors of a that flickered with black scallops And float pine out the bathtub of crass maggots (Bats) 1 point fuckin 5 schmillion A number undermining how they duck and dive different And I was waiting for an hour and I merely saw six Some thought it was a bust, I thought it was the shit

I watched the videos and hung out with his friends and hugged his mama And it’s clear to me this kid’s the Minnesota Dali Lama And the lama twist his tongue To create a perfect rhyme With every style preconceived to spit that shit out at your mind And your mind’s rind peels back revealing Every dead friend on the back of a little black bat So you stand and you wait at the top of the Only six fly out and return to where they hid So you wait and you wait and you never wanna leave ‘Cause 1.5 million bats is what you need to see to grieve 1.5 million bats is what you think you need But 6 is enough to receive a little peace ‘Cause every little bit counts Sometimes in death and disorder You look for shooting stars In the reflection of the water And you open the gifts that you didn’t expect On the birthdays of the dead friends that are stuck in your head Like love, and hugs and songs and rage And the keys that you needed to unlock your heart’s cage The ability to put the pen back to the page The heat beneath your feet to propel you on stage The beat that completes your shit these days Yea the beat that completes your shit these days (The beat that completes your shit these days)

BATS BATS

The post cards coast from a reoccurring force field Pickling his demons with the prematurely door-nailed Never played Taps on a short scale Played dream wars with corbins chalkboard nails Sore thumb Ay yo played the corner of the salt lick Kayo said “are people you are meeting know what loss is?” Twenty in a one a patio with forceps Wig splits sorting would amount to little mortar heads Never gonna stop Tell me about your homey The quote that would open a can of bogeys In the form of stolen roman candle stories Wild youth clique From a tethered plus my alive friends are even deader

There’s a little folk singer who has run out of chords Like a big bad lion who has lost its roar Coming in like a lamb-chop At which the lion’s shamed I got Gunther Gabel- Williams Trynta tame my brain With a flick of the wrist and a crack of the whip I said if that’s all you got You ain't got shit ‘Cause for free birds like me The possibilities are endless Try to put me in a box I will be relentless In my pursuit of lots of different kinds of things You can clip my toe nails but You can’t clip my wings

BATS BATS

I know about your brother I will bring him to the If the colony is hiding we lift him on the six Knife in the road Scalp in his mitten Glass house decalicow and pissin--- A proud Fugee and a foul cow limp cow system Triple crown clip never trickle down bread crumbs Group is over gallon Under the bowed head shrunk Better sip from the acrylic killer clown redrum-wretch If you ever woke up feeling future-proof Precious brothers in effect and rooting for the future you Speaking of the future us Twin city mourning Broke a wiper on a rental trynta grin away the gory Wait new game smuggle bats on a plane Wait newer game tug a whole through his brain I will drag these bricks Over lake and law Shake 1.5 out over St. Paul Just knowing poetry and mathematics get involved Then he totaled and a quarter of ‘em a draw Don’t count shit First sign of leathery wings He throw them devil horns up yelling heavenly things

See I started this life As a nappy but clean flapjack Slipping on the shiny white backs of the back pack A princess a jock a brain a freak Now I’m a fucking rebel I’m a little of each And I’m not ashamed of all the different parts in me And I like cross-pollinating the communities Because divided we’re cool But together we conquer Like monsters and roaches And humans and honkers And if you’re close to my age, then you were raised down the street With a lick-em-mate Fun Dip in front of your TV And our generation’s gotta do it differently ‘Cause we got new ideas and new abilities Inside an old-fashioned funeral, ew - change the station I’d rather tune in for a life celebration Say good bye with dance parties and say good bye with shows ‘Cause that somber-ass shit’s not the way I wanna go Put your hands in the air Feel your dead friend’s presence Wrap and unwrap pack no resentments With our hoods on our heads we are up on the And we’re summoning the bats so we can live With our hoods on our heads we are up on the And we’re summoning the bats so we can live

[naomisakagura]

Styx VS Hellboy

Just a blurb between my friend and myself because it’s fun. It has nudity and violence! Be warned! (Also, this HB is based off of Ron Perlman’s version, not the comics. Sorry. :/)

Chilling out with my friend Shadow, she spoke to me about school and how she was so bad with procrastinating. I had to laugh because I could relate. “Do you need a cheerleader, then? To help encourage you to do some work?” I smirked evilly as a thought came to my mind.

“I would love a cheerleader.” She smiled at me sweetly.

“Okay, let me go get Styx.”

She burst out laughing, “Dude, is he about to be put into a cheerleader outfit?”

“Hell yes…”

Styx was just minding his own damn business when he got dragged out by his ear. “What the fuck?!!”

“I need you to do me a favor.”

Styx pulled away from her and glared, “What kind of favor, and why should I help you?”

“Because you owe me.” I gave him a knowing look and his eyes widened in realization.

“Fuck…” His ears drooped as his face soured.

I smiled cheerily as I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “Oh come on, it won’t be that bad.”

Next thing the goblin knew, he was walking out in a cheerleader outfit, leaving nothing to the imagination, and a huge ‘S’ on the front.

Shadow looked up and burst out laughing, “I’m sorry dude.” She turned to me, “Thanks, you’re amazing.”

I nodded to her and then turned back to Styx, “Yo, you got pom poms bro, use ‘em.”

Styx grumbled under his breath, and started to slowly move.

His enthusiasm was on par with a chicken wanting to cuddle up with a fox. I decided to rattle his cage some. “I can’t hear you~!” I said in a sing-song voice.

Styx rolled his eyes and got louder, trying to be more enthusiastic about this horrible situation I had put him in.

I smiled, “Good boy.”

Shadow giggled, unable to keep it in.

I sat down beside her and handed her a pink, studded leash, “Here, have his leash. He’s all yours.”

Hellboy, having recently learned how to work a phone, had been texting Shadow back and forth. She sent him a picture of Styx and he got a bright idea in his head. He smirked as he got changed into a mini skirt, belly shirt with a kitten on the front, and grabbed fluffy pom poms to go with. He walked out to where they were at, grinning like an idiot. “Naomi, Naomi, she’s our girl, if she can’t do it, no one can!! Wait, that doesn’t rhyme…” He decides to light up a cuban cigar, nodding at Styx. “Sup? Nice tutu.”

I burst out laughing at his comment. Styx’s skirt did look like a tutu.

Not to be outdone, Styx growled and really got into it, shaking his butt and everything. “You got this! Show that bitch how it’s done Woo woo!” He vigorously shook the pom poms.

Hellboy reached out with his tail, grabbing Styx by the ankle and ripping his legs out from under him. He smirked when the goblin landed flat on his bottom. “Oh, shit. You’re not wearing underwear?”

Styx growled and pounced him. “You fucking bastard! What the fuck are underwear???” He tried to strangle HB with his fluffy pom poms.

Hellboy lifted Styx by the ankle, keeping him well out of striking distance, smirking and casually puffing his cigar. “Feisty one, aren’t you?”

Styx growled and kicked HB hard in the ribs, managing to get free. He flipped back and ripped his outfit off, taking a fighting stance. “Let’s do this.” He didn’t care one bit about fighting naked, this bastard was ganna get it. Plus, he wasn’t above foul play. He smirked.

Hellboy took one last puff from his cigar before causually flicking it to the side, ripping off his own shirt and knee-high stockings. He hesitated only briefly and then tore off the miniskirt as well, shifting into his own fighting stance. His eyes flicked to Styx’s not insubstantial manhood and chuckled. “No need for a measuring stick.”

Styx smirk deepened, “Scared demon? Afraid I’ll tear you in half?” He meant that in more than one way and he knew the demon would pick it up. He charged, tackling HB. They went flying into the wall. Unfortunately, he had forgotten about his pink, studded collar.

Hellboy struggled for a moment to catch hold of the almost supernaturally fast goblin, barely managing to get hold of his collar. He started wailing on him, pounding his face and stomach with his massive, stone hand.

Styx grunted at the barrage. Once he had had enough, he found an opening and head butted the demon. He also dug his nails into the flesh hand. Unfortunately, that didn't warrant release so he used his legs and wraped them around the demon’s body. Once he had a secure grip, he started to lean backwards towards the floor with all his weight. He was hoping he would be able to flip the demon over and off of him.

While his weight alone was insubstantial to budge the massive demon, Styx’s barrage managed to imbalance Hellboy, causing him to topple over right on top of the goblin. HB chuckled heartily, “You alright little guy? We can stop any time.”

Styx growled, then smirked as an idea came to him. He turned over and threw up, causing a clone to form. “Not yet. I’m just getting started.” The clone grabbed at HB while Styx shoved, causing the demon to lift just enough that Styx could get out form underneath him. Though they were mostly evenly matched, HB had weight and height on his side, but at the same time, the goblin, was still faster. He landed a round house to the demon’s face then pinned him, landing his own series of punches to HB’s face.

Startled by the sudden shift in fortunes, HB backed up a couple of steps, shielding his face and trying to regain his balance. He managed to catch one of Styx’s fists, squeezing until he felt the bone begin to crack. He held the goblin at arm’s reach. HB split blood from his mouth and reared back aiming a devastating punch at Styx’s groin.

The clone hit HB from the back, allowing Styx to fight back. He wasn’t going to let this asshole win.

HB grunted, loosening his grip on Styx. He’d forgotten about the little clone. That was going to be trouble. Momentarily dropping the goblin, he whirled on the clone, needing to put it down permanently so he could get it out of the way and focus his full fury on the naked bastard who was, undoubtedly, crumpled and nursing his tender-bits on the ground behind him.

Having forgotten that the two of us were still present, I grew bored with the fight and looked over at Shadow. “Want me to electrocute them?”

“How would you go about doing that?” Shadow looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

“I pre-installed thingies into the floor that can electrocute them. Crispy goblin and demon.”

Shadow laughed her ass off, “Alrighty, go for it. You have the red button of doom, I’m guessing?”

“Hell yes.” I smirked and pressed the red button, causing the floor to light up where the three were fighting. The clone disappeared and the other two got electrocuted.

Hellboy grunted in shock, literally, and stumbled to the ground. Just before blacking out, he aimed one last punch at the prone goblin.

Styx tried valiantly to fight it, but it was a losing battle, and took the hit HB landed before passing out.

“Now we need to take our men and comfort them, yes?”

“I’m sure he’ll love every minute of your massage.”

Shadow laughed out loud and stood up. She walked over to Styx who was starting to wake back up from the shock. “Ooh, baby, are you alright? Your groin took some serious punishment. Let me massage it and make it better.” She smirked and the two disappeared.

I laughed and stood up, about to leave HB to his own devices.

However, he had other ideas in mind. He poked me and gestured to a nice, secluded room with a comfy bed. “Want to, ah, fade to black?”

I laughed and smiled, “Sorry love, but I’m married. Thanks for the show! Tata!” I blew him a kissed and waved as I walked away, leaving HB to stand there slack jawed.

FIN~