#get me out of here!!!!!!!

[rowanisawriter]

every corporate email looks like this

team,

schmoople poop shit fuck has had the most profitable year in x years thanks to the support of everyone across monkey fuck face’s org, every single one of you raised the bar for schoop poop people fuck ass. we’re putting our best foot forward as we approach mother fucker asshole bitch season and to align with our blue sky vision for next year, we’re announcing somechanges to the reporting lines under monkey fuck face

fuck hole ass bitch clown ape shithead’s org is going to roll up to hole in the wall fucker. hole in the wall fucker’s purview will still include kissing lamp posts, and the lamp posts will still focus on flickering on and off when it rains. this change will enable all lamp posts to get the support they need, when they need it

dog shit eater’s team will roll up into monkey fuck face, this close proximity to monkey fuck face will align with their goals for next year to eat as much dog shit as possible. dog shit eater’s local projects will shift over to sloppy second’s sloppy office, where they will eventually be off boarded to cocksucker mcgee’s org

meanwhile, we’re eliminating the hole in the floor fucker role, and all hole in the floor fuckers will roll up to hole in the wall fucker, and all holes in the floors will be filled in permanently. we believe this shift from hole in the floor fucking to hole in the wall fucking better aligns with our three year plan

thank you again to everyone under monkey fuck face, we’re excited for the mother fucker asshole bitch season and will be sending out a survey after this email to collect your feedback on our communications at schmoople poop shit fuck

[isatoru]

i wanna do this with isagi so so soooo bad… 🥹

[closapine]

[dahyun]

there is nothing worse than sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s and everyone is coughing and sniffling

[br1ghtestlight]

i forgot everybody on osc tumblr is so fucking mean and negative for no reason LMAOO i hate it here dude i wanna go back to bobs burgers. at least im not sensitive about people who hate that show

[hansoeii]

the honda odyssey, huh?

[alwerakoo]

I think the main reason why FNAF translated well into a movie, while Minecraft very much doesn't, is that when you're playing FNAF you're supposed to imagine it as real life. You're supposed to squint at any janky or goofy animation it may have and imagine this is you, right now, in real world, behind this security guard desk. While playing Minecraft - what you see is what you're supposed to see. This is not the real world, this is the world of minecraft and things are blocky with simple colors and designs. You're not in the real world, you're in the world of the game.

Which is why seeing the graphics so realistic yet still blocky makes it look deeply uncanny. Like this is not real world. This is also not minecraft. I have no fucking idea where I am

[crowkip]

yeehaw, baby!

[spidertroupeart]

the jokes write themselves

[thechurn]

its that phase of my cycle where i really wanna **** ** **** ** * **** ** ******* so fucking bad

[plaguedeities]

It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

IM SORRY WHAT? HELLO?

[aro-throughyourchest]

*grinning with blood dripping from my gums as I watch the male lead have to deal with a girl who's very clearly too forward and its really starting to get uncomfortable*

[waywardstation]

Look for anything (or anyone) that could be familiar

For part two:

❤️ 300 likes

🔁 70 reblogs

Reblog with the hashtag:

🔼 for Ingo to find Emmet

🔽 for Emmet to find Ingo

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

[3liza]

hot autistic adult women are always saying they're doing fine really and everyone is nice to them and they just need to figure out a few little things and then everything will be perfect

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)