#get a grip my friend lmao
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
really fucking grinds my gears how my dad knows just how to make me feel fucking guilty for putting up boundaries and saying no
#not even for a major thing!#barely setting a boundary even! just saying i donât want to do smth!#asking me if i want to go for dinner one evening when he knows i work late most days and have said this for years - in fact said this exact#thing to him last week - so when i say no bc i finish late he just pushes and pushes#until im like this doesnât work for me AND i hate eating out i dont want to go. just go with my brother thatâs fine. and heâs suddenly#blunt as fuck in his messages leaving me on read or guilting me about the hours i workâŠ.. like get a fucking grip your over 50 bro#i try to be polite with it but he just gets in a fucking mood like please you are a Loser#i see you weekly (smth HE chose when i was a bairn) like im not making my job and life harder just bc you feel bad that you donât see me#more often now#also i only hate eating out with him!! because itâs awkward!! i like to be in and out when i eat with friends and weâre all the same about#it bc weâre all very autistic lmaooo but with him he likes to chat and chat and chat which is fine but i donât.. and he asks more personal#questions than when weâre just at his as if im gonna open up just bc weâre eating thai food đđđđ#like you Donât get to know if im seeing anyone or if im queer or even if ive got fucking plans to go away with friends tbh#like deadbeat dads that try to emotionally manipulate their kids get minimal information actually !! đ€âïž#stelle yaps#fuck sake#i knew heâd start doing this when my brother was back - heâs always played us off each other and he always gravitates towards whichever is#the âeasiestâ child at the time which is my brother ever since i became an adult lmao#i just donât tolerate his shit and i let him know it whereas e will play along#me and my dad are too similar in that we both know how to really cut deep in the other :/#it just all sucks#please please feel free to ignore#i just need to vent like hell bc he winds me up a treat so bad
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi, if this doesn't bother you, what are your pikase headcanons?
do you have au with them?
also i love the blog idea, it's so cute have a place were the pikase fans can talk about them đ
hiiiii anon i did not realize how much i would have to say about this ive been writing this reply for hours sorry long post inkoming lmfao
my funny little general headcanons can fluctuate for whatever i wanna do but the solid ones are that fukase is disabled and does tech support and piko is a robot and does a lot of programming stuff, they join forces to build silly little robots together and theyre always looking out for each other
more random ones are stuff like the height i draw fukase with fluctuates but hes never taller than piko, both of them are some flavor of transgender (i personally like unlabeled piko and intersex fukase), piko is mikis sibling and shes dating miku append, both of them are robots and id love to draw a double date at some point, i dont really have any mikippend headcanons but i love them sm too omg and i like to draw piko with funny little hologram windows he can acess the internet from and i think thats just kind of a robot thing robots can do :]
the only thing i can consider an au that i have with them is what i call "memesquad from the mirror dimension" or "seriousquad" which is this note on my phone where i wrote every single personality trait i could think of from talkloids i saw around 2018-2020 and reversed them heres what i wrote for fukase and piko
also AWWW TYYY thats so sweet yeaaaaaaah shipping vocaloids is all fun and games until you realize that unless your otp is from crypton you cant find SHIT about them, id love to have my blog seen as a little hub where all of us can sit around a campfire and chat about our silly ship omg đ„ș
pikase being a rarepair baffles me specifically because of the memesquad, idk why but at least on my time on that side of the fandom some years ago it was always super hard to find any pikase stuff which always confused me since they're both In The Deam Memesquad. PERFECTLY good gay couple in there guys. why does no one see the vision. i vividly remember this one time i was like 13 reading a crack ask fic on wattpad and the only time pikase was even hinted at it was played off as a complete Joke and it made me so upset lmao
i only have around 40 followers here but it makes me so happy to see so many people that share my love for this ship, the rarepairness of it always made me feel so alone, back when i only used twitter there was 1 artist that Sometimes posted pikase stuff and that was all i had, genuenly i am willing to bet that im currently one of the only active pikase artist out there lmao, i say this in my bio but i made this blog to just get me to draw them more and be more shameless about MY FUCKING OTP and i genuenly never expected to see more than like 5 people on my notes, even if someone just silently likes and reblogs a drawing with no comment attached it still always makes me so warm inside even, ive gotten at least 2 people saying "OH MY GOD AN ACTIVE PIKASE BLOG" on my notes and i share the sentiment deeply. hell yeah. theres more of us out there >:D
#the height thing is solely based on the jjinomu tda models that i used to fucking love some years ago#but now the way pikos haircut is innacurate to the boxart really bothers me lol#which is fucking incomprehensible considering its a SUPER detailed model#if you can get the tiny details right how do you fuck up the hair????????#ask#anon#not a drawing#pikase#peak and awsome ask anon <333#another thing i intentionally didn't mention it on my main post because this is not what this blog is about but why does olikase#specifically have such a grip on the memesquad fandom like idc abt what you ship but i dont understand how this one ship has such a monopol#on the 14 year olds. where did it come from. in my experience in the memesquad fandom it was the only ship people cared about and im just#really curious how one pairing can completely take over a fandom like that. why was there no shipping diversity if you wanted to watch sill#silly little talkloids you had to be down with olikase and floko specifically#for what reason lmao#like i said in vc with a friend the other day#theres a perfectly good gay couple in there. you dont need to get the child involved#also fuuuuuuck i havent drawn in a while need to fix that
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved đ#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl đđ#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Iâm allowed to post what I want. YOU decided to engage and interact with me. You can simply scroll and move on with your life bestie
you say this and then put your own hate in the #tony stark tag. the anti tag is literally one damn word away, use that one.
Bestie youâre acting like Iâve me hating Tony Stark is new, like Iâm in love with RDJ.
Also bestie, I didnât singularly tag Tony Stark. My post cropped up there cause I used his name đđ»ââïž
Heâs a fictional character, he ainât sad because I hate⊠heâs sad because he put his money in bitcoin.
Edit- that screenshot still slaps tho. People were clogging FANFICTION tags, writers tags. Iâm not clogging no Art/fan work⊠my post shows up in his name. People who intentionally tag BS posts with xreader or fanfiction centric tags should be shot on sight đđ»ââïž
#imagine getting butt hurt over someone calling Tony stark Elon musk#get a grip my friend lmao#Tony stark
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
when the unhealthy homoromantic friendship got yu that bad your therapist had to treat your separation like a bereavement and is teaching you coping mechanisms for grief
#dawgs dont get into situationships with your closest friend youâve ever had it dont end well#LMAO#i have to laugh otherwise i might completely break down#LMFAO#(im afraid iâll never find someone who will love me unconditionally because im too much to handle)#HAHA WHAT PARKERâS GETTING EMOTIONAL ON MAIN??#(im afraid that iâm not only unlovable but also that i will inevitably ruin any relationship i form)#WHAT THE FUUUUCKKK#THIS IS SO CRINGE#(iâm completely delusional and the more i keep repressing this shit the further i regress into my head)#WOOOAH GET A GRIP DUDE????#(i canât cope with this type of stuff)#parker spews his troubles connecting emotionally and romantically and platonically and just generically with people#sorry guys i am cringe feel free to ignore this
7 notes
·
View notes
Photo
missing young k hours D-22
#day6#young k#youngk#the grip this particular yonk has on me needs to be studied tbh because i go Insane every time#i know i always say i'm giggling and kicking my feet but this for this one is real#once i was h*gh with a former friend watching day6 videos and i was like dude look at him LOOK AT HIM#and she was like idk he looks mean i don't like him ://#the whole audience booed#i get why the lead of the video fell for him i really do#b.edits#missing yonk#(also i think i've told that story more than once already LMAO)
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
#friend isn't liking solas so far but doesn't know who she wants to romance#bc the only character who's rlly gripped her is dorian lmao#i'm expecting cullen to win this tbh but not as hard as solas would win it if i included him#i'm also not expecting this to get outside my circle but i'm also-also prepared for bloodshed
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
oh my god your additions to my tags on that iv post. yes!!! you are absolutely correct 100%.
iv gives off such service top vibes. but i also definitely see the switch thing too. iv gives off the vibes i wish i had lmao
đđđ
#I have nothing to add to this haha.#I just love it#hihi!!!#friend exie!!#I wish I had ii vibes if we are talking like that lol.#*sighs* iiâŠâŠâŠ I know I talk about being down bad for the guys but I swear Ves and II have a grip on me I donât want to talk about sometimes#lmao.#service top iv isnât just a vibe itâs a truth/j#I did have somethings to add to this but none of it makes since so Iâm leaving it in the tags#wish me luck Exie!!! I have the first family Christmas thing tomorrow and Iâm NOT looking forward to it#but it might be uhhh. my last oof#just cause Iâm thinking of no longer going haha#I amâŠ. so done with screaming little kids honestly. and now next year there will be 6. maybe even more if I get unlucky.#so yeah. unless we have it at rented party room or something Iâm not going again next year.#Iâm gonna be so overstimulated on Monday and I have GOT to finish my last gift knit.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been thinking about the recent fact i learned which is that he met one of my man friends and then his first response was to ask my friend about his relationship to me because he was worried we might be romantically involved and that's like. crazy. like do you have anything better to do or are you gonna be weird and possessive over me like we haven't talked for only two weeks
#jcd you are the bane of my existence get away from me forever and ever#sorry for the name drop if you're checking my tumblr then um. awkward way to find out i resent you greatly yeah#i don't think he stalks my socials actually only bc i only have tumblr and he refuses to get tumblr#because there's too much gay fandom stuff and he's mildly homophobic#the only reason i haven't told him to fuck off to his face yet is because of so many complications like it's just easier trying to#phase him out of my life over the summer#we haven't been talking much recently anyway i just found out this happened though and it's like. wild to me lmao like get a grip#also i blocked his number so he can only contact me through our friend discord server đ«¶đ«¶đ«¶
0 notes
Text
//
#oh my god. twitter users need to get a grip#look. im not a fan of bsd.tiktok as much as the next person#but why are they spreading rumours about a regular fucking content creator just having fun#d.azaisplotarmor is famous and whatever so ofc everyone is trying to be different now that they have an excuse#âomg i never liked j.ulia shes so unfunny!!!!â buddy youre on TWITTER#get a fucking life#and to spread rumours about someone being ableist is insane#the person who created the og post has already deleted it and admitted they were making shit up about j.ulia being ableist so WHY is the#hate spreading at an even quicker pace?#âim glad theres an excuse for me to hate her nowâ youre a fucking dick. why are you glad that someones âableistâ i fucking hate you#if you dont like a famous creator NOBODY CARES!! youre not quirky or woke or different#just block and move on#this goes for legit anybody famous. whether itâs in music or movies or youtube or WHATEVER#like seriously yall need to take some internet etiquette courses. dont like dont interact. yell about it to your friends or im priv idc but#do not blast hate on the PUBLIC internet. thats just shameful#i dont even fucking know j.ulia but i hope shes doing ok bc the hate is wild#itâs always fucking bsdtwt i swear to god. theyre all convinced theyre correct and smart about characterisation and wtv#like buddy. having 8k followers doesnt mean youre a genius humble yourself please#sorry. this is pissing me off#i need to turn rbs off LMAO#vent
0 notes
Text
CUNNILINGUIST â s.jy (ft. p.sh)
Unfortunately for you, no man has ever given you some good head. Fortunately for you, your best friend is more annoyed by it than you are. Itâs just a favor, right? or the one where your best friend jake eats you out as a way to admit his own feelings for you, also, apparently sunghoon existing is an issue.
minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog to give bestie jake conflicting feelings
WORDCOUNTâ 16.1 k
PAIRINGâ jake x afab reader (ft. sunghoon)
CONTENTâ a lot of waiting, like to the point it even annoyed me, very fluffy stuff , typical best friends to fuck buddies to âactually, I had feelings this whole timeâ, jealousy, jake is whiny and needy when heâs horny, reader thinks itâs cute. angst if youâre a baby about it
OTHER CHARACTERSâ sunghoon as the mutual friend who bangs reader
NOTEâ this was originally written by me on my other blog [@/ncteez], if youâve read it before, thatâs why!
smut tags under cut::Â
smut tagsâ BIG DICKED BESTIE, pussy eating (he gets IN THERE), masturbation in the form of dry humping a mattress and then into his hand, finger fucking, cum eating, sunghoon hook up, morning sex, lazy fingering, lazy fuck, dirty talk , unprotected sex, awkward build up,raw grinding, no blowjob in sight sorry lmao, deep penetration, cream pie, kind of cum stuffing but like not entirely intentional, cheesy love stuffÂ
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
âWhat? Again?â Jake says, leaning back against the couch with a groan and a smack to his own forehead.
âYeah, so basically he went down on me for less than a minute but expected me to, like, go long enough to âswallowâ or whatever.â You continue the story in a frustrated huff, shaking your head in self-pity.
Jake groans louder, leaning himself forward again and swiping his drink from your coffee table to take a long and thoughtful sip.Â
âHow many times is that, then?â He says between sips, glancing around the room as if heâs in deep thought. âI canât help but think you pick these kinds of guys on purpose at this point.â
You look at him in mock pain, grabbing his drink and taking your own thoughtful sip of it.
âI dunno, they always talk big game during phone sex and stuff. I figure eventually one of them will live up to it.â You drone on, internally marking your recent dateâs name off of your call-back list.Â
âBe honest with me, have you ever actually gotten good head? Like how would you know if theyâre bad if you have nothing good to compare them to?â Jake asks, letting you mindlessly drink his beverage.
Itâs not weird to be having these types of conversations with him, if at all, something would seem off if you didnât. Heâs the only person in your life that youâve ever felt this close to. At this point, you think heâd have to chase you down with a bloody hatchet for things to be awkward. Which isâŠkind of interesting, you guess.
âWell, I mean,â You think for a moment too long for his liking, but he gives you the space to finish your answer. âIt feels good and all but itâs not like Iâve ever gotten off by it.â
âCorrection ââ Jake starts, blinking right at you. âYouâve never been given the chance to get off on it.â His bright smile shows through his words, and youâre sure heâs mocking you at this point.
âYeah, yeah. Yada, yada. I have terrible taste in sexual partners but to be fair, itâs not like the pool is that big to choose from.â
He nods in agreement, humming as if to end the conversation and still watching you sip at his drink.
âWould you be opposed toââ He pauses, making eye contact with you. âYâknow, I could do it for you.â
You pause, nearly dropping his drink out of your hand but thankfully your grip actually tightens on it instead. You swallow as you look at him, searching his face to see if this is some kind of joke.
âJae-fucking-yun,â You deadpan, sitting his cup back down on your coffee table and leaning toward him, staring him down. âYouâd really do that, for me?â
You bat your eyelashes at him, mostly playing it off as a half-joke just to see if heâs fucking with you or not.Â
âHow else are you gonna experience it?âÂ
You stare him down harder.
âYou say that like youâre some sort of pussy-eating-god,â You narrow your eyes. âAre you?â
He shrugs casually with his little smile, leaning back on your couch and stretching his arms out. One of his hands lands behind your shoulder and you lean into it.Â
âIâd let you be the judge of that if youâre up for it.â
Finally, you decide that heâs definitely not joking and youâre definitely gonna do it because like, thatâs your best friend. Experiencing your firsts with him comes almost as naturally as walking. You had your first kiss with him, albeit it was a dare. You experienced your first concert with him, your first break up, your first failed exam, and even your first legal drink in a club. Whatâs so bad about letting him eat you out?
âRight now?â You ask, quirking your brow and tilting your head.
âNow, tomorrow, next week. Whenever.â He runs his hands through his hair as he says it and only now are you starting to really tune into his features that youâve already found handsome.
Day after day youâve seen him on this couch and in other states of dress without really thinking twice about how his lips would feel on you (despite that short first kiss). Youâve seen him kissing all up on other people, youâve seen him in the club with wet lips from alcohol, youâve seen him all messy and eating spaghetti at his parentâs houseâ but for some reason, his lips seem different now. His sleepy eyes seem different, his messy hair seems like something that should be tugged on, his fucking jawlineâÂ
âWhyâre you staring at me like that?â He looks at you up and down as if heâs judging. âYou wanna go right now?â
You nod slowly, letting the traces of any lusty thoughts youâve had about him in your life come to the front in waves. Then you quickly shake your head.
âWait, no,â You roll your eyes more at yourself than him. âI havenât showered since my date, maybe I should, uhâŠâ
âUh â yeah. Please do.â He grimaces, that same dopey smile coming back after a moment.Â
âFair.â You roll your eyes. âGonna go shower then.âÂ
Part of you wonders if like, heâs being totally legit. For all you know, youâll get out of the shower and heâll be too busy doing something else, or like, heâll go home or something. No hurt in seeing though.
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
In the bathroom, you canât help the feeling in your chest at even the thought that this may be about to happen.
Excitement. Thatâs what you feel. Not because itâs Jake. Well, maybe a little bit because you wanna see what his tongue is all about but more so because youâre about to get some presumably good head.
You shower thoughtfully, cleaning every part of your body and feeling little goosebumps rise and fall with each sensation of your air conditioning snaking its way past your shower doors. When you get out, you lotion your body so youâre all nice and soft and brush your teeth just in case things go a little further. Youâre not expecting it to, but yâknow, nothing wrong with having fun if it comes to it.Â
After all, heâs doing you a favor by going down on you, the least you can do is smell good, be soft, and totally prepared for if he were to suggest more, right? Right. Anyway, youâre all showered up and opt to just let your hair do its own thing as you throw on your shirt and shorts. You ignore the panties at this point, because why not?
When you get back to the living room, Jake isnât there. Naturally, you check your bedroom and there he is, still his normal self and lounging against your headboard while flipping through videos on his phone.Â
âAnd sheâs back,â he comments, reaching a hand out as if to invite you to your own bed. âChange your mind yet?â
âNot even for a second,â you smile as you take a spot in front of him, your entire body facing him as you pull your knees up and lay your chin against your arms. âHave you?â
He seems to fall into a more serious tone now, locking his phone before tossing it to the side and flicking his eyes up to look at you, scanning your legs in the shorts.Â
âNo,â he chokes back, shocked to see straight between the gap of your shorts and actually lay eyes on the point of this whole situation for the first time. âAnd youâre not wearing anything under those shorts.â
You watch his face and the way it turns from your best friend into something youâve seen time and time again from men youâve gone home with. Itâs sexy on him though, for some reason.
âFigured Iâd save you the trouble?â
He smiles, now moving himself toward you and reaching a hand behind to cradle your head.Â
âLay back,â he says softly, in a voice youâve only heard a few times from him, âyou could have left the shorts off too though.â He adds with an even softer laugh.
For some reason, it makes you feel shy. His hand guiding you to lay back all while grabbing the pillow from behind him and placing it under your head so that youâre nice and comfortable. You watch him look at you and honestly, itâs in a way you canât remember him ever looking at you before. If this is how he looks at other women, you may be a little jealous.Â
It feels more intense right now than you thought it would.
âYouâre being weird.â You say offhandedly, looking away from him and trying to keep the heat from flushing to your cheeks.Â
âYouâre letting me eat you out, how am I being weird?â He leans up from you, putting two hands on your knees but still waiting for your eyes to meet his again. âYou want me to act like the other dudes? Dip my tongue in then wrap it up?â
You groan, rolling your eyes back to him and analyzing the way his big hands drape over your knees.Â
âOkay, fair.â You admit defeat, feeling his warm palms move down the back of your thighs and to your ass.Â
âLift up,â He says, quickly pulling the shorts off of you when you do as he asks.Â
âOhââ He gasps quietly. âDamn.â
He stares directly between your legs, bracing his hands back at your knees and spreading your legs a bit. He angles his head in different ways to really look at you, seemingly enamored with your pussy as a whole.Â
âLook whoâs staring now.â You chuckle, instinctively hiding your face from him despite knowing he isnât looking up at you.
âYeahâ I am,â he admits, now adjusting himself on the bed to lay down, his head easily slotting between your legs as he rests his chin on your lower belly and looks up at you. âYou can pull my hair or do whatever, Iâm just gonnaâŠlike, start I guess. Tell me if itâs something you donât like.â
As normal as this isnât, heâs speaking similar to how the two of you had taken on projects before. He typically takes the lead but offers you control more often than not. All you can do is nod at him, trying to comprehend that itâs your best friendâs head between your legs right now.
When he pulls his head back up with one last nod of confirmation, the first thing you feel is his fingers slipping up your folds, the other braced on your thigh and holding your legs open. You release a short sigh of relief at the feeling and he instantly smirks at it.Â
âI havenât even started yet,â He whispers, glancing up at you before fixing his eyes back on the expanse of your pussy. He uses his ring and pointer finger to spread your lips open, and the middle finger to rub against your hole only for a brief moment before he licks his lips and releases his own sigh of relief. âGod, Sunghoon would be so jealous right now.â
You look down at him, wanting to ask him what the fuck heâs talking about and why heâd bring up Sunghoon right now, but you find yourself staring at him instead. Breath caught in your throat with the way his eyes meet yours before letting his tongue hang from his mouth as if presenting it to you in a cheeky way.
Heâs so fast with it too, with the way he replaces his middle finger with his tensed tongue, forcing you to swallow your words and hold your breath even more. You can feel him lick and nibble against each of your lips before moving inward, flattening his tongue to lick one long, languid, and wet stripe up until meeting your clit.Â
He wraps his lips around it, sucking once, hard, before releasing it and pulling back to look at you.
âThis okay?â
Goddamn him for making you have to talk right now. Youâre still trying to comprehend the fact that he said Sunghoon, fucking Sunghoon of all people would be jealous that heâs doing this right now. Thatâs definitely a question for later, because yeah, itâs fucking okay.Â
More than okay.Â
You nod to him, throwing your arm over your eyes and instinctively bucking your hips up towards his hovering mouth.Â
âOh, that was hot,â He groans out his compliment, watching the way you hide your face before he pulls his eyes back down and uses his fingers to spread your pussy open wider, enough to see your hole pulsate when he dips down to blow against it, âI can see how wet youâre getting, Is it because of me or is it just because someone is playing with your pussy?â
You half groan half moan at that, mostly because hearing these words from him is something that feels entirely too sexual. As if he hasnât already tasted you, as if youâre not spread out by his fingers right now. You ignore his words, yet, your brain holds onto them with white knuckles and your hips buck toward him again.
âNot a talker, got it.â He notes, watching your hips chase his breath.Â
He watches for much longer than youâd like for him to, and youâre about to lift up and accuse him of being just like the other guys but he shuts your thoughts off so fucking fast when you feel his lips on you again.Â
His tongue explores every part of you, licking and sucking against areas you didnât even know would feel good until his mouth lands against your clit again. This time, you canât help it, you grind up and he hums at it as he braces your legs open just enough to skew his head and move his tongue back down.Â
Heâs slurping. Lost in the moment as he does it. Tasting you in full and getting a warm, pleasant feeling each time your legs try to close and your hips buck up for more. HeâŠcanât believe this is finally happening. Fucking finally.
Unsure if youâd let him, he tries anyway. He stiffens his tongue, circling your hole before pressing just a bit, giving you just enough pressure that you feel frustrated. So frustrated that youâre the one who ends up finishing his attempt at something new. You reach down and lace your fingers in his hair, and let out a soft, needy little moan for him.Â
That sound forces one from his chest too, he canât help it, really. With the way youâre grabbing his hair and holding his head in place, pressing yourself against his mouth so much harder than before. Ah, he really, really loves doing this for you.Â
To think any man would already be done? To think anyone could like, not wanna eat you out? Insanity. Stupid, stupid fucking men.
He can taste how wet you are now, truly taste it as he stretches your hole as much as he can with his tongue and another groan of his own. Itâs probably embarrassing, truly, but he doesnât care.Â
Both of you are moaning at this point as you hold his head in place and grind your hips harder than you think you are. He loves it, you love it. So much that you really are barely comprehending that your best friend could do this the whole time?! And never told you until now?!
Jake is just as drunk on the moment as you are though. Totally lost in the scent and taste of you as he continues to lap away, constantly trying to prove that you can and will get off from his mouth alone. And honestly? Itâs at the point that he figures he can use his fingers now too considering you let him spread you open with his tongue. Whatâs a little more gonna hurt, anyway?
The taste of you alone has him in heaven, cursing any man who didnât take advantage of your pussy against their mouth. He can easily slip a finger into a hole this wet and needy, gasping in awe before glancing up at you.Â
God, the way you immediately ride his finger, no huff or sound of irritation that heâs pulled his tongue back now. Your face. Fuck.Â
He watches as you shamelessly chase the small amount of pleasure he can offer in terms of just head and fingering. He can imagine how hot youâd be without that shirt on, with your legs around his hips, with your mouth wrapped around him. You look blissed out, soaking his finger and keeping your hand in his hair, mindlessly grabbing and scratching at him.Â
Making quick work, he goes back for your clit, circling his tongue around the bundle of nerves and noticing how you ride his finger harder. He canât help but smirk against you when you do it either.Â
The movement of your hips constantly humping against him is enough, and he canât help but groan at the sound of your slick squelching out of you and warming his chin, he canât fucking help but grind his own hips forward when you act like this. His cock is so painfully hard for you right now, at the taste of you, that all he can do is chase the mattress beneath him. Tensing his muscles and moaning against your clit shamelessly at the jolts of pleasure he gets from it.Â
He slips another finger in with ease, feeling how much wetter youâve gotten in the way the slide is filthy and audible. You groan out at that too, feeling his tongue flick relentlessly against your clit and only now moving your free hand from your face and trailing to your stomach.Â
You canât even talk, so you donât. You lift your shirt up until you can at least rub against your nipples, just to heighten the pleasure your best friend is so graciously giving you.
His eyes roll back when you do that, only to fall back on you and get a frustrated grunt from him. Heâs a bit annoyed that the shirt is still covering you despite your hand under it, fondling yourself. Heâs thinking with his cock, so fucking aroused that he doesnât think twice when he aggressively lifts your shirt up to your chin and watches the way your fingers poke and prod at yourself.
He inhales a sharp breath at the image, and his hips fuck harder against the mattress at that. His fingers speed up and now heâs focused. You feel him all over you from the waist down, his tongue flicking and lips sucking against your swollen clit, his fingers relentlessly fucking into you, your fingers heightening those sensations by playing with your own titsâ then, oh, then you notice.Â
Jake, youâre best fucking friend, is so goddamn horny that heâs dry humping against your bed and whining out moans against your clit. Probably to avoid asking for more, to avoid making you feel obligated to get him off too, to avoid anything you may not want or consent to. And thatâs why heâs your best friend.
It doesnât take long after that, your hips come to a stop as you watch him get himself off all while getting you off, and you find your orgasm bubbling up much faster than if youâd have imagined solely because of the image in front of you.
âJake, youâre fucking whining.â You groan almost as needy as he does, rolling your hips up in a stutter.Â
He was almost gonna stop, because yeah, he is whining. Gasping for air but only tasting you, only swallowing up the moans you give to him, only inhaling the dull scent of the fruity soap you used when you showered. But, you moan louder after you say that. You like it. You like seeing him act so desperate. So he continues, shamefully reaching one of his hands between himself and the bed and quickly shoving it down his pants, circling around his cock and continuing to fuck into it.Â
If he thinks hard enough, youâre what heâs fucking right now, and technically, he is. With his fingers and mouth at least. When your hips stutter more, he fucks harder against his hand and holds his fingers inside of you as deep as he can get them. There, he sucks against your clit until youâre the one whining louder.Â
Youâre shocked at how quickly youâre getting off. Releasing a splash against him in a breathy, choked up sob. Nearly squeezing his head between your thighs to the point he almost misses the way you breathe out strings of praises toward him. But he hears them.Â
He definitely heard you say that he looks sexy with your hand in his hair, and god, did he ride off of the fact that you encouraged him to get off with you. Regardless of if you knew if he could or not, regardless of if you knew his hand was providing just enough pleasure for him to do just that.Â
There, as your orgasm subsides with his tongue still flicking your sensitive clit, you watch him writhe his hips against your mattress, his eyes slammed shut, and his breath coming out in pornographic moans. So this is what Jake looks like when he cums. Itâs desperate, but somehow, it feels passionate too.
Youâre all dazed after the fact, pussy pulsing and tingling from the loss of his lips and fingers once he pulls back and lays against your bed with a lazy smile. His pants are uncomfortable, but he doesnât mind as he wipes his hand across his shirt and watches the way you catch your breath.Â
âSo,â He tries to say, clearing his throat. âIâ umâ hope thatâs what you needed?â
Youâre shy. Youâre never fucking shy, especially towards Jake, but god.Â
âUm, yeah,â you sigh out, lifting from the bed and looking back at him. Part of you wondering if thatâs what itâs supposed to be like when someone gives you good head, or if thatâs justâŠwhat itâs like when Jake gives head.
For some reason, you genuinely donât think another man would ever eat you out to that level again. Thereâs no way, based on experience.Â
âIt was definitely what I needed.âÂ
He nods in a shy way, reminding himself that his pants are fucking nasty right now. So, he goes to stand up and extends a hand out to you.Â
âLetâs go clean up.âÂ
You shake your head, not at all wanting to move from this bed. He nods again, pulling your shirt back down for you and leaning to look at you.Â
âIâm gonna bring you something to clean up with, and Iâm gonna shower.â
You smile at him, a bit dazed as you make yourself comfortable on your messy sheets as you think hard about the fact that this dopey motherfucker really never told you how good he was at this? Rude.
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
Jake looks all proud of himself when he comes back to your room and cuddles into bed with you much like he always has.Â
âI didnât expect to sleep over, I have work in the morning.â He whispers in a rasp against your back, curling around you like the perfect big spoon.Â
Youâre quick to turn on his work alarm on your phone, like you always do when he crashes during weeknights. Because, what best friend doesnât have alarms set for each other anyway?
After a few more long moments of silence, you try to talk. Mostly because your brain is swimming with the fact that, like, youâre not sure but itâs justâ wow.Â
âHey, umââ
âHmm?â He hums out in a sleep-heavy voice.
âDid you actually enjoy doing that?â
âAre you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.â His sudden louder voice causes you to jump, but you relax back into his gasp.Â
âOh,â You think hard. âIs this gonna change stuff between us?â
âProbably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.â He responds with mock-confidence, shifting a bit and hugging you closer to him, as if to hide the way heâs trying to make this sound like a joke. For his own comfort, really.
You smile.
âAnd donât tell other dudes my secrets.â He adds.
âI won't.â
Jake has his own smile from behind you, wondering if he really is just that good at eating pussy. The truth is, heâs done it a handful of times but he was just really really interested in doing it for you. ForâŠreasons.
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»THIS WAS ORIGINALLY TWO PARTS, NOW ITâS ONE. YOUâRE WELCOMEă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
âHey, um,â
âHmm?â Jake hummed out in a sleep-heavy voice.
âDid you actually enjoy doing that for me?â
âAre you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.â He responded in a sudden, louder voice.Â
âOh,â You think hard. âIs this gonna change stuff between us?â
âProbably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.âÂ
You remember the conversation that happened after he went down on you like it was yesterday, and heâs a goddamn liar. Nothing changed in your friendship with him, and he certainly doesnât ask to eat you out all the time either. If anything, youâve felt disappointed time and time again with the aftermath of that night.
Itâs weighing on you in a strange way. At first, the weeks following the first and apparently, only time Jake went down on you, you almost expected him to ask for a repeat. You wanted to return the favor. You wanted him to ask but he never did. Even when he came over to hang out, even when you tried to lay down hints.
Nothing changed.
In fact, he doesnât even talk about it. He doesnât look at you as if heâs tasted you, and he doesnât act like he came in his palm against your bed, right in front of you. Heâs justâŠJake. Sweet, caring, aloof, Jake. And youâre just you. Except you want to be someone else at this point. Someone that he does feel differently around after that.
Maybe you werenât a memorable event for him when it comes to intimacy. Maybe he prefers to pretend it never happened? Maybe he was really just doing you a favor and intending for it to never go past the initial act. Even with his sweet words after the fact. Maybe, that was just to reassure you so it wouldnât be awkward.Â
Youâre a version of you who wants to know what the fuck heâs thinking about. Did it taste bad? Did he get cold feet about it all? Arguably, if things did get weird after what happened, youâd feel more comfortable than you do with the situation as it stands.Â
It is weird now, but only because itâs not weird for him.Â
Even now, as you lay across the same bed where he had his head nestled between your legs, you can almost feel the tingle of what it felt like. The way his hair tickled your thighs, and the way his fingers laid against the flesh of your legs. The sun is beaming in through your windows and it still doesnât feel as warm as it did when he cuddled against you that night. Itâs been weeks and your heart is sick for him by this point. Sick with confusion, angst, lust, maybe even love if you think hard enough.Â
You miss him a lot more than before as you throw your hand up to your face in a gentle slap as if to knock yourself out of it. This is insane. Every day you wake up feeling this way, thinking of him, and where you stand with him. It wasnât like this at first, you truly expected him to come back for more and now youâre just sitting here with a loop of reasons as to why he never did.Â
Insane. Youâve gotten head from so many people and didnât think twice about them the next day, Jake is different though. You knew he would be too.
Why is Jake any different? Why do you miss him so badly right now? Why couldnât he pick up on it either? Even worse, why do you feel like doing that with him was a mistake?
Heâs with his parents for the weekend, and youâre here still thinking about shit that should have been released with your orgasm.Â
You havenât gone on any dates since that day, you havenât met up with any one other than him to hang out, and at this point youâre starting to feel a little pathetic for falling in so deep. Itâs entirely one sided, he makes that very clear.
So, naturally, you hop up with the confidence of a damn lion and decide that today, it ends. You will stop making it weird between the two of you, if he has even noticed anyway. Youâre gonna get dressed, look hot as fuck, and sit on your couch swiping left and right until you find a hot piece of man thatâs willing to take you out tonight.
Thatâs when something dawns on you. You remember Jake briefly mentioning Sunghoon to you, which seemed more like an implication if anything at the time.Â
Why would Sunghoon be jealous of what happened? You can admit to being attracted to him but itâs not like the two of you hang out often or anything, and itâs also kind of a rule for yourself that you donât fuck within the friendgroup. Jake was an exception, solely because thatâs your best friend. Or, well, was your best friend.Â
Now though? Who cares about these little rules you create for yourself? You need a confidence boost. You need your mind to be taken off of this little spiral you keep falling into. Most of all, you need to be proven wrong that you can still get off without it being him.Â
So, texting Sunghoon? Easy.Â
Thankfully, Sunghoon texting you back at lightning speed seemed even easier for him.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
Well, Sunghoon sure did a great job at getting your mind off of Jake for the past couple of hours.Â
You lay here in his bed, feeling your body tingle from the sensation of just how well he lived up to the promise of a good time. For hours he touched you, licked against you, fucked you. And yeah, you did fucking enjoy it.Â
But why now? Why did you only just decide to give Sunghoon a shot? Why are you lying in his bed, with his heavy arms thrown across you as he snores gently behind you, feeling the need to cry? Why do you wish it was Jake, your best friend who seemed so eager to please and then suddenly leaped ten feet back as if he never suggested it in the first place?Â
Your brain is confused despite your body relaxing itself from the state of bliss you were able to experience. You really did enjoy this time with Sunghoon and think that maybe, if you continue to make late night visits to him, the need for your best friend will weaken in time.Â
God, if only Jake would just talk about it.
And you fall asleep thinking about that. About how youâve let your feelings weaken you to the point that itâs genuinely hard to enjoy being pleasured by someone who actually has the capability.Â
And, well, you wake up much the same, except Sunghoon was quite quick with his fingers upon waking up himself. Showing you that even if the person you want doesnât have a thing to do with you, he sure does.Â
âGood morning,â He rasps in a sleepy voice, fingers already traveling down your stomach as he hugs up against you from behind. âGlad you finally came through for me.âÂ
You quirk a brow. Right, Jake is the whole reason you're here. If not for mentioning him, at least.
âI finally came through?â You chuckle, your body jolting at the ticklish sensation of his lips brushing the back of your neck. âYou knew I was single, why didnât you call me?âÂ
You feel a harsher kiss against your neck, and his fingers only travel further down now.Â
âBro code.â He whispers, dipping his fingers between your still naked thighs. âIâm not overstepping if youâre the one asking for it.â He slides his fingers gently back and forth between your legs, trying to work you up. âAnd you did.âÂ
You think hard about that. Bro code, overstepping limits, not coming onto someone unless they do first solely because someone must have asked him not to. And youâd think even harder about who that someone might be, but instead your brain is quickly thrown into the morning sex routine Sunghoon must offer to all of his lovers.Â
You enjoy it too, the small moments of bliss where youâre not in your head about what you could have possibly done wrong with Jake for you to end up feeling this way. Itâs a brief moment of numbness though, feeling his fingers pleasure you gently can only do so much to quiet your thoughts.Â
âAre you saying one of your friends had dibs on me or something?â You laugh in a half-joke, arching your back to rub your ass up and against the bigger and warmer man behind you.Â
âYou could say that, Iâm assuming he missed his chance thoughââ Sunghoon whispers snidely, now satisfied with how you already drip for him and sliding one of his fingers into you. His other hand, being used to hike one of your legs up and against his hip to open you up for him. âYou wouldnât be here doing this if he didnât.âÂ
You clench around his finger unintentionally, pretending you donât know who youâre both referring to. Mostly because thereâs no way in hell itâs your best friend, seeing as how heâs acting like you donât exist outside of platonic friendship with him. Then again, who else could it be? Jay? Heeseung? Fucking Jungwon? As fucking if.Â
âI guess he did miss his chanceââ You breathe, now allowing yourself to give into the lazy and slow pleasure being offered. âDeeper.âÂ
And he listens. Sunghoon goes deeper and deeper with one finger, then two, then three, up until you slip his fingers out of you and plead through your body to have more. Deeper still, holding you from behind, plunging in as if to intentionally fuck the confusion out of you. As if to, maybe, prove that Jake isnât the only man who can please you now.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
When you eventually find yourself walking through your front door, you do feel better. Sunghoon did have some type of capability to make you feel as desired as Jake did. After all, itâs not often that you sleep over with a man, better yet get fucked again as soon as you wake up with him.Â
Even so, you know Jake will be back tomorrow, wanting to hang out yet again as if nothing happened. Thankfully, with Sunghoon around, maybe you can pretend alongside him. Maybe even forget it ever happened.Â
You can argue that for the first time, youâre even a bit annoyed when you see his name pop up in your notifications with a call as if youâre not right in the middle of texting Sunghoon. Itâs not that you were trying to go back over to his house or anything, but man, he sure is trying to get you to come back for a third round already.Â
Maybe you just like when people are eager to please you, or maybe you donât like to feel as if youâre the one chasing another person. Still, you answer Jake, seemingly releasing all of this resentment youâve built up for him in an instant.Â
âWhat?â You huff into the phone, feeling it vibrate with another text from Sunghoon and wanting nothing more than to see what his fourth reason would be for you to come over not even two hours after you left.Â
âWhat?â Jake responds in confusion to you. âWhat do you mean âwhatâ?âÂ
âI mean what do you want? Iâm busy.â You huff again with a roll of your eyes, flopping back on your bed.Â
âOh god, something happened.â Jake groans, though he was simply calling you because he missed your voice. âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
âNo, not really. Was just trying to figure out what Iâm doing tonight when you rudely interrupted me.âÂ
Something is off, Jake can feel it. Your voice has a bite to it, one that feels like youâre mad at him. Not to mention, he knows what you mean when you say youâre trying to find something to do for the night. He tries to reserve his feelings though, despite wanting that something to be him.Â
âOh, I know thereâs an event at one of the clubs downtown tonight I think. Jay mentioned itââ He pauses briefly to hear another annoyed breath from you. âYouâre not gonna go with him?âÂ
âNah,â You wave off dismissively. âI think Iâm just gonna go hang out with Sunghoon.âÂ
You donât notice at all the brief and panicked silence for a solid second and a half before Jake reacts.
âWait, what?â He says quickly after managing to process those words, trying not to sound as panicked as he knows he feels. âSunghoon? Why?!âÂ
God, he knew he shouldnât have said anything about Sunghoon that day, but his confidence was overflowing and he couldnât help but boast at the time. Itâs come back to shoot him in the dick, knowing full well that Sunghoon has been trying to get you into bed since he fucking met you. Hearing you ask for him in this context is something that makes his blood run cold.Â
âRelax, I was with him last night. Itâs kind of like, maybe gonna be a normal thing now.âÂ
You refuse to pick up on Jakeâs tone. He had all the time in the world to make you feel something other than confusion, and this is just fucking petty at this point. He clearly doesnât want to have anything with you, so why in the hell should you just sit around hoping? Waiting?Â
âSunghoon? You want to fuck Sunghoon?â He asks in a lower tone, trying to convince himself that he has to be mishearing you. You can hear him shuffle around and close a door behind him, showing that he doesnât want his parents to hear him. But the frustration showing blatantly in his voice is somehowâŠsatisfying.Â
âI already did. I figured he would show me a good time since no one else can, and he did.â You shrug with slight disobedience. Resentment bubbling up in your gut to the extent that you almost want to grill him for having any type of opinion about it.Â
Jake hangs on those words for a second. âSince no one else can.âÂ
He really thought he was the one who could do it for you.Â
âYeah, butââ Jake starts, feeling like a child almost in the way he protests despite not being in a position to have a say in who you sleep with. âYou know what? Nevermind. Do what you want.â He adds blankly, hanging up before you can get another word in.Â
Honestly, he doesnât know what heâs doing wrong because you acted like he was fully capable of doing everything right. Hanging out with him consistently after the fact, not making it weird, flirting with him, asking him to sleep over.Â
He wasnât sure if he should ask you for more or if he should ask you to be his girlfriend first. The whole reason heâs with his parents right now is because he felt the need to run home to his Mom for girl advice. Embarrassing? Yes, but he really wanted to do things right. He cares about you.Â
He needed just one single weekend away, and the second heâs gone youâre out fucking other dudes? Fucking Sunghoon?Â
By now, that asshole is probably feeling like heâs on top of the world for getting to touch you. Not even he has done what Sunghoon managed to do with you by now and he canât help but feel pissed about it.Â
Whether youâre his or not, Sunghoon never should have been a fucking option.Â
So, he calls you right back, pushing back the feeling of how pathetic it seems considering heâs the one who hung up on you. Then, when you donât pick up, he immediately feels his stomach drop.Â
You must be talking to Sunghoon, you must be setting up a time and place to meet with him. And Jake has heard that Sunghoon knows how to fuck. Other people have said heâs good in bed. Surely, if youâve already been with him once and youâre still wanting to go back to him, those other people werenât lying.Â
To Jake, it feels like heâs losing you to his own friend with each passing second, and itâs weighing so heavy that spamming your phone with calls to interrupt whatever it is youâre doing right now feels like the right thing to do. In fact, it feels like it is the best thing in the world to do.Â
He calls again. You donât answer.
Again.
âWhat?!â You answer, annoyed.Â
âWhy would you even want Sunghoon?! Is he really that much better than I am?â He doesnât think before he says it, because if he did, he wouldnât have been able to say it at all.Â
Itâs his turn to experience that awkward silence because in all fairness, you donât know how to respond to that. You feel annoyed now, you feel confused and quite frankly, blind sided. Since when did he care?Â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean? You came onto me once and then never followed up.â You dead-pan at yourself in the mirror across your bedroom, speaking into the phone with a voice that seems scolding. âI donât see why youâre mad that Iâm hanging out with Sunghoon. We arenât dating, Jake.â
âSince when? Who said I didnât want to do it again?â Jake argues back in a whispered voice, showing you that he still canât be as loud as heâd like to be. He chooses to ignore that last sentence though, pretending as if it doesnât strike him in the center of the heart.Â
âNobody! Thatâs the thing, you havenât said anything about it. Not that you want to, not that you donât. Youâre just being you and itâs driving me up a fucking wall.â
Pause.
âYouâre mad because I didnât make it weird?â Itâs like his brain clicks.Â
âPretending it didnât happen somehow makes it worse.â You lower your voice, ignoring the string of texts Sunghoon is sending you and listening closely to what Jake might say next. Your heart is racing through this hushed argument, and it feels good to admit that you kept thinking about it, even if he hasnât.
âI wasnât pretending that it didnât happen,â He pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. âI just wasn't sure what the next step was.â
Youâre fucking appalled.
âJake, I have been flirting with you since it happened because I couldnât stop thinking about it. Youâre the one who didnât make any moves, so I figured you wanted it to end there.â You sigh loudly, but somehow feel a bit lighter. âDo you have any idea how that fucked with my confidence?â
Jake sighs along with you on the other end of the line.Â
âThatâs why I was annoyed earlier, and thatâs why Iâm going to Sunghoonâs tonight.â
âWhat?â Jakeâs voice raises a bit higher. âStill?!âÂ
Itâs the fact that heâs trying to explain himself. Had he known that you were confused by his lack of, um, touching you, he would have done it every day since it happened! Yet, youâre still considering Sunghoon an option? Knife to the heart, honestly.Â
Or maybe heâs not being clear enough with you about this.Â
You, on the other hand, nod your head as you hum a confirmation to him, smiling and wondering if this conversation will turn into an event that would, perhaps, have you cancel the hook-up with Sunghoon.
âWhy? Are you jealous?â You pry.
âYou really called him, and now Iâm just sitting here in my old room trying to find a way to get to you before he doesâŠ.again.â An inhale. â Yes! Iâm fucking jealous!âÂ
You remain silent, trying to pretend that your pettiness isnât solely to confirm what he seems to be implying to you. Then, an unintentional chuckle leaves your lips.Â
âWhy are you laughing?!â His voice is raised again, and he doesnât seem to stop spilling what he needs to say. âI wanted to do that for you for years and you somehow still didnât know?â He pauses. âI always made it weird between us, what? You thought I treated all of my friends like that?â
You just listen, feeling your heart beat in time with each word he speaks. Strings of sentences like, âIâm going to kick his ass.â and âYou thought Iâd just eat you out as a friend?! Youâre insane.â and âI would have come home last night if you wanted to feel good so badly, why did you have to go see him, of all people?âÂ
The confirmation of Jake being the friend who forbade Sunghoon from making a move on you is right there, clear as day.Â
âAh, so the Jake I know isnât the Jake everyone else knows?â You respond, trying to force the tingling feeling in your gut to calm itself. Hearing him be so blatant to you has your heart doing flips, and itâs not an easy task to make it stop.
âOf-fucking-course not!â He rolls his eyes, you can definitely tell. âYou had me wrapped around your pinky from day one.â
âAnd you really thought that, with the way you seemed so uninterestedââ You pause, processing his words. âI would have asked you to come home from your parentâs house to get me off? For what? Funsies? You thought I'd be brave enough or selfish enough to ask such a thing?âÂ
Jake sighs deeply, seemingly fed up with the situation.Â
âIt wouldnât be because you are selfish.â He breathes out, almost angrily. âAnd for the last time, Iâm not uninterested. I was just trying to do things right. I donât just want to fuck you, you know.âÂ
âAnd you didnât think to tell me until weeks after you ate me out?â You smile harder, trying to contain the heat flushing over your cheeks. âUntil after I thought I had a pH imbalance and maybe you were just grossed out by me?!âÂ
âIâm genuinely shocked you didnât know already. Made me think you werenât interested enough to likeââ He pauses, not wanting to be too telling. âI guess waiting and being polite isnât really your style. I should have known that though.â
You let him continue, because you can tell heâs simply taking breaths and small pauses to figure out how to express his thoughts to you.Â
âYou canât tell me that over the years, you never once noticed how often I stared at you.â He lowers his voice again, softening it to an extent that you actually feel the butterflies fly from your belly to your chest.Â
âThe fact that I jumped in head first and offered to do that for you? I didnât think I had to tell you at this pointâŠâHe breathes out a chuckle through the line this time. âAnd for the record, I couldnât get enough of it. I was just trying to likeâ I donât know.â
You listen to him breathe deeply, again.Â
âI didnât want you to think I was in it just for the sex, I guess.â
There. There it is. Youâre nearly kicking your feet, feeling him confirm feelings and erase any hint of doubt within you. Despite never truly noticing that he treats you differently compared to his other friends, despite never thinking too hard about the way he looks at you.Â
âYou acted like it wasnât a big deal, Jake. Iâm not joking. If thatâs how you act when you like someone, you shouldnât blame me for not noticing.â
âI literally tongue fucked you.â He dead-pans. âFriends donât just do that.â
âI thought we were friends who could do that.â You argue. âBut I guess youâre not quite looking to just remain friends, are you?âÂ
âNo,â Jake sighs. âMom told me I needed to take you out on some extravagant date and express my undying love for you with a handful of red roses, but I guess this is just how itâs gonna be. After all, this is you.âÂ
âAnd this is you.â You confirm.Â
âI was going to come home tomorrow and try to lie our way to the restaurant, which I still can, if you want. You kind of fucked up my plan though.âÂ
You pause at his words, suddenly feeling like shit for not realizing sooner. In your defense though, if he really did like you from day one, you didnât exactly have a chance to see how he would have acted without feelings. The Jake you know is your best friend, and someone you trusted with everything, you thought he treated everyone as well as he treated you. Thatâs why, when he didnât change, you couldnât read him anymore.Â
Then again, all of this could have been fucking avoided if he had just voiced it to you.Â
âRomance is dead and itâs your fault.â Jake tries to joke, his soft tone somehow coming out even softer as he waits for some type of response from you.Â
âSo, are we done fighting?â You ask meekly, tapping your finger against your phone and looking up at the ceiling with a smile that by now, you canât escape. âSince youâve just expressed your undying love for me and I very much wouldnât mind going on a date with you so we can work this out face to face?âÂ
âAre you still going to fuck Sunghoon?âÂ
You laugh.Â
âOh yeah, for sureââ To his silence, you immediately take it back. âOh my god, relax. Itâs a joke.âÂ
âGet better jokes, asshole.âÂ
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
âWhat the fuck?â Jake deadpans into the phone, his heart beating far too fast for his health, but vibing with it anyway because by tomorrow night, heâll be next to you again. âYou seriously had sex with her?!âÂ
âHey, sheâs the one who called me.â Sunghoon shrugs as he listens. âTo be fair, Jake, I did tell her that someone else had dibs on her.â
Jake slaps his forehead and rolls his eyes.Â
âYouâre such a dickâ I told you at least three hundred times that I like her! I donât have dibs.â He gripes, trying to pretend that heâs not imagining Sunghoon with you, the person he wants the most.Â
âDamn right you donât, because she seemed to have a great tââÂ
âSunghoon, stop. I donât want to know what happened, but like, stop texting her.âÂ
Sunghoonâs brow raises in curiosity.Â
âAh, did you finally make a move?â
If thereâs anything Jake knows Sunghoon wonât do, itâs go for a woman that is actually unavailable. He has his fun, and heâs not one to turn anyone down if he has an interest in them, bro code be damned. And yeah, heâs still a little pissed at him for hooking up with youâŠbut, it is true, Jake made you feel like he wasnât even an option in his attempts to be a gentleman.Â
Still, boundaries need to be set now. Real boundaries.
âI did, and I would really appreciate it if you back off. Iâm trying to make something out of this, you know?â
Sunghoon lightens up, sighing at his loss of a would be fuck-buddy that seemed more promising than some heâs had in the past.Â
âJesus, youâre serious about her arenât you?â He smirks as he speaks, feeling proud of Jake for finally stepping up for himself. âI mean, I can totally see why. Please excuse me as I mourn that sweet, sweet, pu-âÂ
âSunghoon.â Jake warns. âShut the fuck up.âÂ
âRelax, jesus.â Sunghoon plays it cool, though he actually is mourning it a little bit. âGood on you though. Iâll back off, donât worry.âÂ
Jake rolls his eyes yet again, his love-hate relationship with Sunghoon becoming more fond than ever by this point. Only because the confidence he had in himself before all of this wasnât entirely where it needed to be. Itâs true that he wasnât exactly a pussy eating god before, nor could he even say heâs amazing at sex but, when it comes to you, he canât help but be excited. He wants to do it all, be it all for you.Â
Never in his life has he eaten pussy like that, and never in your life have you felt a mouth so eager to please between your legs.Â
Sunghoon could have been something, but he couldnât have been Jake, ever.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
The day couldnât go by any slower than it already has.Â
Jake comes home tonight, and by home, you mean to your apartment where he doesnât live.Â
Your mind goes in loops on what could possibly happen. Scenarios of him getting cold feet and ignoring that any of this happened at all again. Scenes of him unlocking your door, closing in on you, and kissing you before you can even say âhelloâ. Images of his hands on you, his mouth on you, what it would feel like if he were toâŠwell, oh.
You snap yourself out of it, every bad scenario in your head gets replaced with one where youâve got Jake working himself on and inside of you. Itâs making you feel hot, insane, and entirely too horny for the proposed date night full of talking that needs to be had first.Â
Then you freeze, your hand on the handle of your mug as you wonder a bit too hard.Â
What if he doesnât show up at all?Â
You did run off the second he left the city and fuck one of your mutual friends. Arguably, you were equally as bad at communicating with him as he was to you during the past few weeks. Sure, you flirted, but was that even enough when he literally put his tongue inside of you âas a friendâ?Â
God, heâd have every right to not show up. To move on, to never speak to you again.Â
Youâve been so stupid. Both of you have, stumbling together but apart into something neither of you could even begin to navigate. For you? Sex is easy. Feelings though? Thatâs where it gets complicated. Yet, still, you find yourself more willing than ever to let these feelings roam free if he accepts them at face value.Â
Solely because of how shitty it felt when you were trying to pretend that Jake was nothing but a one time thing for his sake.Â
And when the time comes, after hours of brooding, getting worked up, and feeling insane, youâre looking like a mess when he knocks on your door. So much for looking good for him. Youâre an absolute fucking wreck when you open that door and dead-pan stare at him and his bags.Â
âHi,â He smiles, not quite making eye contact because he really is kind of embarrassed by all of this. âIâm here.âÂ
You step back from the door, eyes remaining on him.Â
âYouâre here.â You say quietly, watching him step into your apartment and drop his bags.Â
You feel his breath before you hear his voice. So much closer than just moments before, right up against your ear, and his arms wrapping tightly around you.Â
âFelt like I was gone for too longââ He whines slightly against you, breathing in a breath and taking in your scent. âDidnât know I could miss you like that.âÂ
You fucking melt. Out of all of those scenarios and fantasies in your head, this wasnât one of them. Which goes to show that Jake is the one person in this world who can surprise you time and time again. Youâve hugged him like this hundreds of times, but this one, oh this one. He feels so close after feeling so fucking far away.
âYou were gone for two days,â You smile, nuzzling against him and gripping his waist in your own hug.Â
âTwo days too long, though.â You feel him smile, that little upturn of his lips pushing his cheek up and against you as he chuckles and pulls back. âWe donât have a lot of time, but we can still make it to the restaurant if you still want to go? I can shower when we get back.â
You pull back, offering him a small nod and feeling a bit let down. You wanted more, especially after that hug. The fact that he can contain himself right now feels isolating. Are you the only one who has a vibrating brain right now? He really wants to have the conversation at the restaurant?Â
He really wants to do this the right way?
You look like shit, but arguably he might think he looks worse considering the long trip back to you. Still, the restaurant is the chosen option to have this conversation, and youâre ready to get it over with so that finally the two of you can take a step forward.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
The restaurant is nice. Thereâs a buzz of conversations surrounding the two of you but most of it feels muffled because the only sound you can truly hear is Jakeâs hushed and awkward attempts to get the ball rolling.Â
âSo, I guess thatâs why I went to my parentâs house. Itâs embarrassing, I knowââ He says before you cut him off.Â
âTell me how you felt the past few weeks when we were together.â You say boldly, wanting so badly to have the confirmation that he really does want this, and that he suffered much like you did.
You watch a fan of rosy tint cross his cheeks as he breaks eye contact with you, looking to the table and then back up at you.Â
âOkay, umââ He stiffens a bit, glancing around to make sure no one is looking or listening in. âWhen we werenât together, it was a lot easier for me to think, but when we were together, I could only really think about one thing.â He admits, nodding to himself.Â
You look at him curiously before you see his eyes light up in panic.
âNo! No, no. Not like, sexâŠâ He looks down. âI mean, yeah maybe sex too but mostly I just couldnât stop thinking about ways to make you want me more than anyone else.âÂ
Your heart swells at his panicked save, and then the words that follow.Â
âI think I already did want you more than anyone else.â You admit back to him. âEven if I didnât know I had feelings until you did that to meâ Iâm sorry it took me so long to realize.â
He smiles, reaching over the table as if to ask for your hand.Â
âWhat about you? What did you think about when we were together after that night?â He asks for his own confirmation now.Â
âSex. Mostly, I guess. I felt like no one else would ever be able to make me feel that good again.â You look away, feeling ashamed and seen. âGoddamn, I sound so dramatic.â
Jake snorts, laughing at how he should have expected this but the confidence boost is a happy surprise to him.Â
âTo be fair though, Jake, I think I had my feelings and my lust for you mixed up.â You continue. âBut that doesnât change the fact that I still feel both of those things every time I see you, or even think of you.â
âFeelings and lust?â He nods with a smile and wiggling his eyebrows, his eyes glistening in the warm lighting of the restaurant.Â
You nod in confirmation, side eyeing the waitress who walks over to take down your order.Â
Both of you are somehow dissociated outside of each other, thereâs no way youâre not because you donât recall what you ordered, nor what he ordered, and he appears to be feeling much the same. The moment she walks away, heâs continuing.Â
âI was really that good, huh?â A smirk from him, and a nod from you.Â
âWhat about right now then? How do you feel when you look at me?â He follows up, looking down at the table.Â
âBoth of those things.â You dead-pan, squeezing your legs together as you look at him and feel the warmth radiating from even this far away. The confirmation of feelings is enough by itself to have your thoughts in the gutter about him, especially after weeks of wanting him.Â
Especially after having to be in this stupid fucking restaurant in the first place.
He quirks a brow before lowering his voice, his eyes drooping a bit.Â
âDo you have any fucking idea how badly Iâve wanted to get my mouth on you?âÂ
God, there he is. That same bold best friend who originally suggested eating you out in the first place. Not entirely unfounded that he said it, but fuck, your cheeks are searing.Â
âJake, weâre in public.â You warn, knowing damn well that youâve not been able to think of anything else either, but for the sake of the foundation of this relationship, you want to tame yourself a little bit.
âSince we started hanging out, every fucking time.â He continues, ignoring your warning. âI would get so mad when youâd go to your little hook-ups. Sometimes I even wondered if you did it intentionally to piss me off.âÂ
Your cheeks are still hot, but now thereâs a bit of guilt filling you.Â
âYou really had no idea how badly I wanted that to be me?â He continues with his streak of confidence, unintentionally dirty talking to you solely because he, genuinely, cannot deny his attraction or his feelings for you by this point. âEven right now, I want nothing more than to have you to myself.â
You pause, the guilt leaving you in an instant as itâs fully replaced with Jakeâs eagerness to have you in full, finally.Â
âWhyââ You sigh, dropping your head into your hands to hide your face from him. âWhy are we at this restaurant again?âÂ
You feel his hand reach back over to you, removing your hands from your face and dipping down to look at you.Â
âItâs so fucking hard to contain myself right now. I can admit that.â He whispers, blinking at you. âIf you feel satisfied with where we stand, Iâd be more than happy to leave this table now and prove everything to you.â
An instant nod from you, and an instant confirmation from Jake.Â
Youâre both out of the restaurant before a single sip of water, before a single visual inspection of the forgotten food the two of you ordered, and before any doubt could creep in to ruin the electrifying atmosphere you were indulging in with him.Â
For Jake, his self control wavers with each passing moment as you sit next to him in the car. You look so calm as he drives as quickly and safely as possible back to your apartment, shaming himself for ever considering the two of you go in the first place. Still, the outcome is somehow more satisfying. Both of you wanting to leave just so you can truly be alone together? He couldnât ask for a better night.Â
Still, your calmness contrasts the way his insides vibrate the closer he gets to your place, and he wonders how the fuck you manage to do it. If you were to simply glance at him at the right moment, youâd see his entire body melt in the fantasies of what the two of you may be willing to do tonight.Â
Years worth of pining in his head and heart are bubbling up now. Youâre inviting him in, youâre accepting him, youâre wanting him back.Â
What he doesnât know though, is that you are quite literally imagining yourself wrapped in chains to this seat. Why? Because if it werenât for those astral chains, youâd be on top of him in an instant, reassuring him that if thereâs anything in the world youâve wanted within the past few weeks, itâs him. Youâd be apologizing for never taking note of his feelings before, and kissing away all of the moments he wished he could have had with you before, replacing them with very real, firm, hot kisses.Â
Thankfully though, you manage to tame the beast from within and somehow, so does he. Up until you get through your apartment door and the electrifying atmosphere sizzles away in an instant.Â
You expected to have the confidence to, quite literally, jump on him as soon as your door closed. Instead, you find yourself standing in awe at the entryway.Â
Jake, on the other hand, would love nothing more than to have you right this moment, speeding and parking crooked be damned, he will not allow it just yet.Â
âListen,â He reaches out to you, pulling you up and against his chest. âI need to shower before I let myself do anything.âÂ
You breathe a sigh of relief, noting that the awkwardness came from the fact that Jakeâs energy is seeping out of him, lust and worry for possibly not being as clean as heâd like to be for this.Â
It feels strange, actually. You can imagine youâve had many hook-ups with men who wouldnât even consider a shower before inviting you over.Â
âHurry up then, before I decide to call Sungh-âÂ
âDonât you fucking dare make that joke right now,â Jake squeezes you tighter against you, hating himself for constantly bringing up reasons to wait.Â
âIf we are going to like,â He pauses, struggling to say it out of pure nervousness that you might change your mind. âYou know, be exclusive, Sunghoonâs name is forbidden.â
You chuckle against him before shoving him back in a playful way.Â
âDeal. Now, can you fucking hurry?â You roll your eyes playfully, internally a little thankful for the short moments you will have to prepare yourself for this.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
Damn this shower for feeling so good. Jake could fall asleep under the warmth if it werenât for the fact that heâs been half-hard this entire time and truly fighting with himself on how to approach this situation.
Itâs kind of awkward, actually. Knowing exactly what the two of you are about to do but having to wait even for fifteen minutes makes it seem like you both have a scheduled hook up and nothing more.Â
Itâs not a hook up though. Jake is finally where heâs always wanted to be with you, in your shower priming his body to go absolutely fucking insane on you. Before, when he ate you out, he really was controlling himself. He wanted to do more with you so bad, and now? GodâŠ
Heâs flushed as he finally makes his way out of the shower, length still stiffening and softening with each thought that passes. He can barely look at himself in the mirror without wanting to laugh at how embarrassing he truly is.Â
Youâd probably laugh too, and heâd love the sound of it.Â
Then, heâs faced with a dilemma.Â
You, on the other hand, find yourself lying quietly in your bedroom after doing your best to fix the mess of yourself for whatever Jake may offer. Waiting for him, and ultimately wondering what the fuck is taking him so long when you finally hear the bathroom door open.
Faintly, you can smell your shampoo and body wash that he used as you hear him make his way to the living room and not find you.Â
Then, you hear him making his way to your room. He doesnât open the door any further than it already was and instead, stands behind it quietly before muttering out.Â
âUm,â He starts, putting his hand on your door and only peeking his head in. âI wasnât sure if there was a point to putting my clothes onââÂ
Fucking pause.
God, he must sound so stupid saying that, especially after looking into your room and seeing you lying against your bed changed into the exact same pajamas you put on the night he initially made a move on you through the guise of friendship.Â
Well, now itâs not even a question and he was right to assume that all he needed to do was wrap a towel around his waist and come to you.Â
You watch his eyes travel your body curiously, a smile forming on his face.
âIf youâre wondering if I put panties on this time too,â You smile, reaching a hand out as if to invite him to open that door and come have at it. âI didnât.â
Thatâs all it takes, really, to have him pushing the door open and not-so-calmly making his way to your bed.Â
Seeing his naked and damp chest is one thing, but smelling your scent all over him is another, especially when the first thing he does is practically envelop you with his body and plant his lips straight on your own.Â
The first real kiss. Despite his lips having been on you before, you melt into it and find yourself forgetting how differently heâs acting now compared to before. He was so confident, so cocky, and now heâs almost docile. Meek.Â
âIâve wanted to do this for so long,â He leans back to whisper, adjusting his body so that heâs more comfortable and leaning down on one arm while the other holds your cheek. âCanât believe you let me eat you out before ever letting me actually kiss you.â
Your face heats up at the comment, making you feel more scandalous than you ever truly tried to be. But heâs not wrong, and you regret making him feel like eating you out was the only way to get to your heart.
Strangely though, it was the way to your heart. Him doing that for you practically threw you into the deep end in search for more, from him, specifically.Â
âCanât believe you decided that you should just eat me out rather than admit your feelings for me.â You counter with a smile, lifting your head to kiss against him again and pretending you canât feel the weight of his length under the loosely knotted towel on his waist.Â
âWell, it worked, didnât it?â He says through the kisses, quickly losing the ability to speak when you lick against his bottom lip and, ultimately, take control of the act.
He wonders what your mouth could do to him. His entire body reacts to the way your tongue flicks and licks against his own, it takes everything in him to try and control himself from pushing too far too soonâ until he realizes that there is no reason to control himself now.Â
Never has making out gotten him this turned on, and itâs not a surprise because itâs you.Â
He half moans, half chuckles into your kiss when he does it, pressing his hips down and against your thigh much like he did previously to the very mattress heâs got you lying against.Â
âThereâs so much I want to do,â He finally admits, pulling back from the kiss and hanging his head to feel how his cock reacts to the flesh of your thigh. âPlease, let me do all of it.âÂ
You sigh, somehow feeling a pang of arousal radiate between your legs despite not yet being touched there. The weight of him on you is enough, and all you can do is nod and await the ways he intends to relieve himself with you.
Hours of head, he could give. Even more hours of burying his cock between those pretty lips and watching you return the favor for him. His confidence grows as your body moves under him, waiting, waiting, waiting for what he will do next.Â
First, he plants another kiss to you, pressing his hips hard against your thigh with a breathy sigh before moving his lips down, against your neck.Â
At the same time, his hands work their way up your loose shirt, cupping one breast in his palm and easily teasing your nipple with his fingers. He works his lips down the center of your clothed chest, down to your stomach, and then up again. His nose nudges your shirt up with each kiss, until his lips replace his fingers and heâs sucking your nipple into his mouth.
Youâve never felt so wanted in your life with the way he appears to be savoring you. Leaving his own pleasure neglected once again, his entire focus is on you. You arch your back up a bit, hands shooting to his head and cradling it there against your breast.Â
He groans when you scratch against the nape of his neck, wiggling your hips under him and chasing the sensation that his mouth manages to send to your clit. He groans again when your nipple remains firm between his lips, and he begins to nibble.Â
And this time, he moans when he manages to trail one of his hands down just to see how much it will take of this to get you wet. He tucks one hand under your shorts, only to find that youâre already dripping, soaking his fingers with a mere single slide up your folds.
âFuck,â He sighs as if itâs a compliment when he pops his mouth off of you, flicking his head up to look at your already dazed eyes. âAlready?âÂ
You glance away, embarrassed by how badly you want the man who was once your best friend, and is nowâŠ.more than that. You can feel his fingers graze and gently play around with the heat your body has already released for him, rolling your eyes back each time he pretends heâs going to offer pressure to your clit.Â
Heâs fucking teasing you, and you know it.
He knows it too, because of fucking course he is. After years of torture, wondering if youâd ever manage to get wet at all with the thought of him, here you are, dripping under him when all heâs done is kiss you and fondle your nipples.Â
Briefly, he remembers how needy your hips were when his tongue was seeping into you. He remembers the taste of each thrust you pressed against his face, and the smell of how badly you needed him at the time.Â
As used as he was by you that night, he wants nothing more now than to pull those same desperate moans from you, to taste the wet inside of you that no man ever managed to release for you.Â
âI feel like Iâm going insane,â He finally breathes out, still toying with your folds and keeping an eye on the way your eyes glare back at him. âI want you so fucking badââ He stutters now, instantly sliding his fingers into you and scooting down on the bed at lightening speed, pressing your loose shorts to the side just to get the taste of you against his lips again.
Your legs instantly shoot over his shoulders, and one of his hands reaches up to hug your thigh against him as his tongue immediately laps at every dip and crease of your cunt. His eyes nearly roll back at being able to experience this again, his fingers holding firm without a single movement just so he can feel your body confirm that you want him just as much.Â
The clench around his fingers are enough, and he licks around them only for a moment before returning his lips to your clit and giving you all heâs got.Â
All he can feel is your legs tightening around his head, nearly lifting your ass up and off of the bed, all he can hear is his own moans vibrating through him each time he hears you react.Â
Arguably, even after that brief moment of teasing from him, feeling his mouth so eager, much like before, sent you straight into a blissed state and made you forget about the restaurant, the shower, the weeks of pining before this. His mouth is so warm, and his vibrating moans sooth your clit through its desperate attempts to beg for more.Â
You canât help the fact that your legs hug his head, or the way your hands shoot down much like before, scratching through his hair before dropping down and spreading yourself open with two fingers solely to expose your clit in full to the assault of his tongue heâs giving you.Â
He missed you so much, he missed this so much. Never again will he leave you wondering, from this point forward, you should be well aware that if you so much as pushed him to his knees and lifted a leg over his shoulder, heâd be eating like a fucking king.Â
Still, even with his immense love for kissing your pussy until your legs shake, thereâs more to be experienced here than just this. His pace slows with the reality of that, and only now does he move his fingers with intent, and he pulls back to see how youâre spreading yourself for him, even as your legs fall from his shoulders.
âFuck.â He rasps, lips glistening with a mixture of his own saliva and your slick.Â
You lend him a drunken smile, nodding slowly as you focus in on the way his fingers scissor you open. Within a blink though, his face is right there hovering above you, staring intently at the way you react to his fingers.Â
âYou look so good right now, you know that?â He compliments, leaning down again to plant a kiss against you, only pumping his fingers in faster when your kiss appears to be more hungry than his own. âGod, I can feel you squeeze my fingersââÂ
And itâs true, heâs seeing stars solely because he can feel the clench of your pussy walls pushing his two fingers together, almost pushing against his attempts to scissor you open and curl them into the spot inside he knows you have. He can only imagine how good that would feel if he were toâŠ
His eyes squeeze shut in a drawn out moan at the thought, his own kiss growing more hungry as he releases the towel from his waist and quickens the pace of his fingers inside of you.Â
You can feel him press his cock against you, and the weight of it only becomes heavier when his fingers pause inside of you just so he can slip them out and use those same slick-coated digits to hold his length down and against you before he slides it between your lips. Now coating himself in the same wet sensation.Â
You listen closely to his moan, knowing that he seems fond of neglecting his own pleasure to the point of doing near-embarrassing things to get it back when he needs it the most. Itâs strangled, almost. You can hear him swallow around it when he slides up harshly, bumping your clit and causing your shorts to stretch against the crease of your thigh.Â
He seems soâŠdesperate. Yet, he can have anything he wants.Â
âKeep it spread openââ He mutters when he feels you try to remove the hand that had been holding your pussy out on display for him. âI want to feel all of it.â
God, youâve never heard him say something so sexy. Easily you do as he says, now using both hands to hold either side of your pussy open for him, and feeling the underside of his length slide against your hole.Â
You let out a pleased sigh, despite your shorts becoming a nuisance at this point. Itâs easy to forget youâre still wearing them though, because they only become drenched more and more as the moments pass with Jake.
You can genuinely just assume that his cock must be aching as he does this, leaking all over you. Thatâs something you donât mind at all, because the stimulation is far beyond what you could ever ask for.Â
âJakeââ You try to speak, only to be cut off by his hand sliding under your head and his lips attaching yet again to you.
There, you canât help it when you remove your hands and shoot them up to his face. Holding him there, feeling the way his jaw moves when he licks into your mouth in a desperate attempt to get as much of you as he can in this moment.Â
His hips fuck forward much like they did into his palm all those weeks ago, and the anticipation of if or when he finally plunges it into you drives you to kiss him just as hard as he does you.
There is nothing but the sound of kissing in the room save for muffled moans from both of you, entirely tangled up together as he does nothing more than grind himself against you. His hand cradling your head and the other still pressing his length down and against you as close as he can manage. Yours, cupping his cheeks as he kisses you, up until you run one hand down to take over for him.
In that moment, with his free and now shaking hand, he pulls back entirely and just looks at you.
Heâs out of it, entirely gone from this world as he stares down with his hair drying by the minute from that shower, messy as all hell with darkened hooded eyes. He continues to stare, each thrust against you becoming pointed to the extent that it almost feels like heâs already fucked you for hours.Â
And then, you feel it. The weight lifting, your shorts being stretched until theyâre sliding down your thighs and off of you, and then the warmth as he adjusts his hips just barely enough to line up with your quivering hole, practically begging for him to stretch you out for the first time.Â
His eyes falter only for a moment when he realizes that this is a moment he will never forget. The way you look up at him with glassy and needy eyes, out of breath, seemingly loving him as much as heâs always loved you.Â
âYeah?â He whispers, not breaking eye contact even for a moment.Â
âPlease.â You mutter out, not fully intending for it to sound so broken.
And as broken as your voice was in that instance, he grows much weaker by it. Dropping his head with a deep sigh, a smile, and then a chuckle.
âYou really, really, canât look at me like that and expect me to be gentleâŠâ He pauses to look at you again. âFor your sake, please tell me to slow down.â
You can barely comprehend a word heâs saying when you can feel the head of his cock teasing where you need it the most.Â
âPlease.â You rasp out again, wrapping your legs around his waist and forcing his body forward, ultimately sliding the tip of his length into you yourself.Â
âOh, fuckââ He chokes out before sucking in a breath and letting out a moan at the feeling. His body jerks at the sensation, the sound of your voice, the way you pulse around him. âFuck, so good.â He continues to mutter, controlling himself for only a few seconds longer just to see if you have the ability to understand that he truly and honestly will not have the ability to go easy on you at this point.Â
âDeeper.â You plead, squeezing your legs tighter around him, uncaring of his attempt to control the situation.Â
Thatâs all it takes. Your broken voice already had him shaking, and now heâs giving up any and all control that he could have possibly hoped to have.Â
Right there, with your legs hugging his waist, your hands gripping the pillow behind your head, and his hands finding purchase on either side of your shoulders, he sinks himself into you as deep as he can go and feels as if the life is being choked out of him over how fucking good it feels.Â
He throws his head back in an erotic and attractive moan of relief, allowing you a glimpse at the expanse of his stretched neck, naked of any marked territory. Still, your vision goes white when the stretch hits you.
So big, so strong on top of you. You can imagine he really could fuck you hard, you hope he doesnât go gentle on you at all, actually
âShit, please,â You moan brokenly again, releasing your pillow and gripping his forearms. âJake, godââ You have no words to describe how good he feels inside of you, you couldnât begin to fathom trying to explain to him how perfect he is.Â
It feels deep, deeper than you ever could have imagined. His length alone should have been enough to tell you that, but you hadnât yet factored in the girth of it. So heavy inside of you, touching each soft and sensitive surface your pussy has to offer.Â
Your body jolts in adjustment, knocking the breath out of you despite him not moving just yet.Â
âShhââ He soothes, not at all actually wanting to hush your cries for him. In fact, heâs simply saying it because he could quite literally release at any moment if you continue to speak and clench him like this. And when he finally looks down at you, he canât fucking help it.
His hips move at their own volition, and he was right in believing there is no gentle fuck to be had here. He slides out only slightly, with the intent to fuck you as full of him as he can. He wants to stay deep, because you asked, and he wants to keep you feeling stretched around him because he can truly never get over the way you look and sound right now.Â
You shake at the feeling of him pressing impossibly deeper into you, keeping his hips flush against you before snapping his hips back more now. A slightly empty feeling inside of you being filled once again within a second.Â
His moans sound beautiful, he feels beautiful, and all you can do is stare up at him with watery eyes and a slack jaw, wondering why it took him so long to do this with you.
Wondering why it took you so long to want it at all, when now, you think you could never feel this good with another person again.Â
His arms flex in your grasp with each thrust, and his eyes land on each visible part of your body before he weakens his stance and lowers himself to you, hips still fucking you open at a pace thatâs only becoming more and more rapid, more and more fucking blinding.Â
âYeah, yeahââ Jake suddenly chimes with out of breath words, kissing you before you can comprehend or respond to those words. âNo one has ever reacted like this for meââ He continues, pointing his thrusts harder into you. âFeels so good, so tight around me.â He chokes up at the last few words, stuttering his and picking up a different pace.
This time, those harsh thrusts pull back further, emptying you before slowly pressing into you again.Â
âI want you to remember how this feels,â He continues, seemingly rambling against your lips with each slow thrust. âNo one will ever fuck you like I will.âÂ
Your hooded eyes shoot open with arousal at his confident boasting. Those words feel so final, as if it isnât even a rule, but a logical fact that only the two of you could ever find to be true.Â
You canât even manage a response, and instead moan before tucking your lips up and against his neck, using one hand to grip his hair and skew his head.Â
That once naked and markless neck is no more. He is yours, and youâre lucky enough now to know that this is exactly how he wants you to feel.Â
âAhh, you like that?â He questions your reaction to his words, feeling your hips make attempts to meet him halfway with each thrust. âYou like when I talk?â He continues to urge your sucking lips to speak out to him, to answer him, to boost his ego just a bit more.Â
âSo much,â You nearly whimper against his neck, moving your lips to another spot. âLove when youâre confident like thisââ
Heâs in heaven hearing those words. As if itâs a confirmation that he wasnât just talking dirty. You both truly take those words and will fuck by them from this point forward. He truly doesnât want anyone else, and hopefully, youâd never give another person the chance to make an attempt to fuck you the way he does.Â
And then the room falls silent again, as if Jake is focused on reminding you with each passing second that heâs never been more sure or right of something in his life. Despite you already believing him, the way his cock pulses inside of you is enough of a reminder even if he had never said it in the first place.Â
His pace quickens again, and then slows, and then stutters. Only to fall back into a good rhythm before his entire body starts to shake through the act.Â
You wonder if this is it. Is this how his body reacts when heâs about to cum? Is this what his face looks like? Is this what his eyes do? Did his arms strain like this the first time? Did his moans come out as choked and desperate?Â
None of that matters, because as quickly as it started, he buries himself into you again and stays in that one spot, shaking and timidly looking down at you.Â
âDonât move, please, donât move.â He practically begs, losing himself to the way your hips chase the feeling of constant stimulation. âStop moving.â He pleads again, pulling his chest from you and sitting up on his knees, keeping his cock in place deep within you.Â
You watch him, unable to keep your hips still, and he watches youâ trying to keep his orgasm under control before seeing your fingers trail down your stomach and to your clit.
There, he loses himself, watching you rub the soft spot just above where his cock stuffs you full.Â
âI canât,â He chokes out, snapping his hips back and allowing himself to get lost in the feeling. âFuck, I really canât.â He continues to mutter out, pressing his strings of cum ever deeper inside of you as he feels every muscle in his body tense.Â
It feels so sensitive, but he canât stop moving, feeling his cum fill you up to the point itâs surely being pressed out of you by his desperate length wanting nothing more than to stay inside of you.
You moan through it with him, encouraging him to lose himself inside of you, and heâs so beautiful when he does it. The fact that he does it at all has your body tensing on its own. Teetering on the edge of your own orgasm with the way your fingers almost aggressively chase after the feeling he appears to still be releasing inside of you.
And then, emptiness. You are left empty and dripping, fingers still chasing your release beforeâ
âWhat the fuââ You moan, squeezing your eyes shut at the feeling of his tongue instantly back on you. As if heâs looping back to the beginning of it all, uncaring of tasting himself solely because through it all, he can still taste you. âJake, Fuckâyes, right there.â You continue to groan when he replaces his tongue against your hole with his fingers, fucking into you as quickly as he can before nudging your fingers away and taking over the chase of your orgasm.Â
Youâre entirely amazed by how eager he is to pull it from you, and that alone is enough. The desperate ways in which he decided to pleasure you right in this moment, itâs enough.
Your hands instantly reach for his hair, gripping so tightly that you can hear the pained sound he lets out at the sheer force behind it. You very nearly rub his nose in the mess heâs made of you out of the sheer arousal you feel through your orgasm.Â
Youâre seeing white, feeling his fingers expertly work you open and somehow donât feel disappointed at all that you didnât get there before he pulled out of you. You can still feel him dripping out, fingers squelching and sliding through the mixture of both orgasms inside of you. And his tongue, good lord his fucking tongue, licking up every bit and eagerly flicking your clit at a pace much faster than he offered before.
And now, you find your legs nearly kicking him across the room. As soon as the orgasm subsides, your body goes into overdrive with the overwhelming sensitivity between your legs and all he can do is laugh at the way you practically do kick him.
Right off the bed, actually, he tumbles.Â
You lay there, staring into space as you attempt to bring yourself back to reality when you see his messy hair and glistening eyes peek from the edge of your bed at you. His shoulders huffing with each deep breath he takes.Â
âJesus fucking christ.â You manage to gasp out, spread eagle and almost completely naked on your bed save for the forgotten shirt thatâs still pushed up to your collarbone.Â
He makes his way back up to you, pressing your legs together, lowering your shirt, and planting his heavy dead-weight right on top of you.Â
A solid ten minutes pass as the two of you lay there in the mess youâve both created. Heavy breaths turn to easy, balanced breaths together. You can barely hold your eyes open when he finally rolls off of you and right up against your side.Â
âCan I ask you something?â He mutters, throat dry and stomach growling embarrassingly loud.Â
âHm?â You hum out, entirely ready to just sleep in the mess.
âAre you always like that?â He questions, a little hint of doubt breaking his confidence. âLike, did Sunghoon see you act like that too?âÂ
You crack your eyes open and instantly turn to face him.Â
âYouâre insane if you think Sunghoon is that good. Iâve never used the word âpleaseâ in my life.â
Jake glances away, thinking to himself and letting those words sink in.
âWell,â He starts, pausing and feeling that little pit in his stomach return. âThatâs a lie because Iâve heard you use your manners at least twice in the years Iâve known you.âÂ
You smile, loving that the two of you can still be somewhat catty and playful even after the fact that you just realized how insanely in love with him you are.Â
âJake, no one has ever made me act like this in bed.â You try to reassure him. âI donât think anyone else could, besides you.â
He smiles with a nod, running his hands down your body before pausing at the half dried cum that managed to make its way up to your stomach. And then? He groans.Â
ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»ă»
Itâs insane really, that all it took for you to fall in love with the person you think you were always meant to love was him admitting it. Even more insane that he decided to take the route that involved faux playful head, with no feelings attached despite his feelings being deeply fucking attached.Â
Still, the route taken to get to this point, he thinks, is fitting for the two of you. Especially now that he can look at Sunghoon without wanting to strangle him, and he can look at you knowing youâd very much invite him to strangle you, you know, considering the fact that youâre now trying to explore every sexual realm in the fucking universe with him.
Even with the desperate need to have you under him any chance he gets, and the fucking, and the arousal, none of it shines brighter than the small intimate moments he has with you that arenât weighed down by pining or lust.Â
As playful as the two of you are together, there is so much love here. So much love to still be discovered too, and he canât help but feel excited by it.Â
Romance isnât dead, despite how the two of you tried to fucking butcher it.Â
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
just a taste
18+. mdni. smut. kinda perv!eddie x fem!reader. he is a lil freaky in this i'll admit.
a/n: i just love the idea of the citrus six all living together lol idk i think itâs so nice also i have never watched cheers i just googled 1991 american tv shows and picked one at random LMAO ++ for the movie, i thought itâd be a nice lil easter egg for them to watch something with winona in:,)
â§ïœ„ïŸ: â§ïœ„ïŸ:
eddie doesnât know who you are or why youâre coming to visit or why exactly it was him that was being made to vacate his room for the two weeks that you were here.Â
âcâmon eddie,â robin pleads, nay, demands, âyou sleep on the couch most nights anyway, whatâs the difference?âÂ
âuh, maybe because itâs my room? i donât want some random girl in there touching my stuff,â almost flabbergasted that sheâs even asking.Â
âsheâs not a random girl,â robin frowns, âsheâs my friend and she needs somewhere to stay.âÂ
âtell her thereâs a great hotel in town,â rolling his eyes, trying to leave the conversation before she breaks out the puppy dog eyes. "i'll even give her a ride if you ask nicely," no longer interested in entertaining this conversation.
âiâll give you fifty bucks,â robin deadpans, using her last resort.
this was bribery of the highest order but eddie's not stupid. fifty bucks is fifty bucks.
ânow?âÂ
she sighs, sliding her wallet from her pocket to reluctantly hand over the bill. she stops just before it touches his palm, âpromise youâll clean your room.âÂ
eddie goes to grab the paper but robinâs faster, jolting her hand into the air, âand change your sheets.âÂ
âokay,â he huffs, holding his palm outstretched.Â
she graciously places the note down, smiling wickedly as she does so before skipping off back to her own room.Â
he can only roll his eyes, turning around to the shit hole that was his room, wondering if fifty dollars was worth having to tackle it.Â
-
eddieâs sat on the couch when you arrive, barely looking back as robin begins to fuss, talking loudly about your journey. he doesnât really care enough to involve himself, besides, elvis presley had just given sam a very important message.Â
âeddie,â robin hisses, standing in front of the screen, âdonât be rude, say hello,â her hands firmly on her hips like she was his mother or something.Â
he looks up at the looming figure by the couch, hoping his eyes hadnât given his immediate shock away too much.Â
you flash him a sheepish smile back, waggling your fingers in a short wave.Â
two weeks on the couch didnât seem so bad now.Â
not if you were sleeping in his bed.Â
itâs just a shame that he wouldnât be in there sharing it.Â
âhey,â he stands, hoping to indiscreetly catch his breath, âiâm- uh, iâm eddie,â offering his hand out, though he regrets it as soon as itâs done.Â
who shakes hands now? christ. he needed to get a grip, and badly.Â
âhey,â you reply, your name dripping from your tongue. though you do shake his hand, not bothering to hide your confusion in the process.Â
âeddie very kindly said you could have his room,â a bright, big sarcastic smile on her lips.Â
âyeah.. no biggie..â christ, heâs almost panting. âdo whatever you want in there.. or you know, just- just make yourself at home.âÂ
his desperate pleas for the earth to split open and swallow him whole go unanswered. instead, robin shoots him a concerned glare before ushering you away from his weird, longing gaze.Â
'pull it together loser' she mouths before disappearing, leaving him to reflect upon how utterly hard he had just fumbled that entire situation.Â
-
when everyoneâs home from work and youâve exchanged niceties and greetings with the rest of the house, robin brightly suggests a movie.Â
eddie usually hated movie nights in the house.Â
jonathan would want to watch some indie cult classic that no one else had ever heard of, steve wanted to watch some dumb comedy that only heâd find funny and then nancy and robin typically opted for the romance genre.Â
leaving eddie and argyle with absolutely no choice but to sit in silence as they bickered.Â
tonight itâs different, you get to pick.Â
and now heâs not saying that whatever you choose will forever change the way he views you but.. well, thatâs actually exactly it.Â
you land on edward scissorhands.Â
not the worst choice you couldâve made, and hey, his mom used to call him edward when he was in real bad trouble.Â
in the end, it doesnât really matter what you had picked because eddie canât muster up enough energy to actually care about the film. not while your thighs are peeking out from underneath your oversized shirt. he canât help but wonder what theyâd feel like wrapped around his ears. what previous sounds would fall out of your mouth in response.
at some point during the movie, you stand up and walk out of the room to the kitchen but that doesnât stop him. staring through the open door, marvelling at the way the hem of your shirt lifts, exposing the tiny shorts you had on underneath.Â
heâs practically hanging over the back of the couch to get a look, craning his neck at a ninety degree angle just to get a glimpse of your soft, pillowy skin. pinching himself as he tries to resist the urge to just sink his teeth into your inner thigh.
robin jabs her elbow into his ribcage, drawing his eyes back to the room with a grunt and a harsh glare thrown her way.Â
âyouâve been staring at her all night,â she whispers angrily into his ear, âstop it, or next time itâs your balls,â a harsh warning he didnât find entirely necessary.Â
you sidle back into the room, drink in hand and eddie canât help but let his eyes wander over again, short glances that robin hopefully wouldnât pick up on.Â
he canât help it, some magnetic force swaying his gaze in your direction. he wishes so badly that he could just crawl out of his head and tell you how much he wanted you.Â
unfortunately for eddie, heâd instead spend the night dreaming of your ass and all the ways he could have you if heâd only grow a backbone.Â
-
living alongside you is an entirely new feat eddieâs not sure heâll survive.Â
itâs torturous.Â
testing the limits of how ridiculously horny one man can get without self-imploding.Â
so close and yet so far. each night youâd tuck yourself into his bed, doing god knows what in between his sheets all without eddie getting a look in.
of course heâd made up a hundred different scenarios to fall asleep to each night.Â
his favourite being the one where he walks into his bedroom to find you mouth open, legs apart, too encapsulated in your pleasure to notice him. only until you do, inviting him closer, between those supple thighs of yours, a forbidden nirvana heâll never get to know.Â
though more often than not heâs cruelly forced back into reality by robin ripping the curtains open at the ass crack of dawn, blaring sunlight on his face as you slip away from the grapples of his dream land.Â
now is his opportunity, the house quiet, bar the muffled giggles of you and robin upstairs. heâs safe for now, he thinks, rather foolishly. itâs late, the rest of them asleep or too busy in their own rooms to catch him in the act.Â
eddieâs never done anything like this before. itâs disgusting, perverted to the core.Â
good grief, this is prosecutable behaviour.Â
tiptoeing down the hall to his room, the door open just a crack, enticing him in further. he can still hear you on the floor above, giving him enough confidence to push it open a little more, edging inside with a quick glance back down the hall, just in case.Â
gratefully it seemed that you were just as messy as he was, your clothes strewn across the floor. his eyes immediately turning to the peeking of lace from under the pile. glancing one last time at the cracked door, ensuring that absolutely nobody would see him.Â
reaching down to gather the fabric in one quick swoop, bunching them in his palm as he lets out a quick sigh of relief.Â
oh fuck. they were so soft, fingers spreading to really get a feel. he wasn't even going to take them, he'd just wanted a little look, something to help his overactive imagination get all the important details right.
âwhat are you doing?â startling him in this precarious position, the lace of your underwear entangled around his fingertips.Â
eddie freezes, he can feel the heat rising through his chest, all the way up to the tips of his ears. scarlet red.Â
âuh.. i..i-i donât know..â he hasnât done anything like this before, he swears.Â
your mouth is open in a sort of half-smirk, half-perplexed gawp, closing the door before he could bolt.Â
you move around the mess, creeping closer until he can feel you brushing against his side, peering over into his hand.Â
âoh wow..â you remark, breath hot and sweet against his cheek, âwhat were you gonna do with those?âÂ
eddie feels sick, trying not to projectile vomit across his room. thereâs no way you wouldnât tell robin. fuck. he could hear you now, voice full of disgust, robin laughing at how pathetic he was.Â
ân-nothing i swear..â stumbling through his sentence, âi was just..â excuses fail to come to mind, âi was uhm.. looking for something,â the absolute best his flustered mind to muster up.Â
âoh really?â reaching around to untangle them from his hand, âyou sure about that?âÂ
thereâs no anger to your voice, but he doesnât dare turn around to look at your face. afraid of what heâll find. your eyes pitying, sad that he has to root around your dirty laundry to get off.Â
âiâm- iâm sure,â though the crack in his voice gives him away.Â
you hum, coming around to stand in front of his gormless face, âso you donât wanna keep these?â holding the evidence up to his face, the hem just barely grazing his cheek.Â
eddieâs knees almost buckle, his breath shuddering as any semblance of composure he had left, floats right out the window.Â
âhere,â reaching forward to tuck the baby blue fabric into the waistband of his sweatpants, your eyes never once leaving his as you do so. âyou keep those.. but next time just ask, okay?âÂ
he nods like an obedient dog, lapping up the scraps you were throwing him. he could stand here all night long, keeping up the weird little power game youâd started.Â
âgoodnight eddie,â you smile, giving him a gentle nudge, a sign for him to get the fuck out.Â
you were the master, he was just the lap dog, eager to please.Â
-
at breakfast the next morning, he struggles to even keep his eyes open. having spent an embarrassingly long amount of time on the couch last night shamelessly sniffing the lace youâd gifted him.Â
you donât even acknowledge it, or him for that matter. happily chatting along with nancy about some news article.Â
âoh and eddie,â robin begins, flashing him a stern look, âi donât appreciate finding your fucking panties in between the couch cushions,âÂ
he chokes on his mouthful, his knife clattering against the table in shock. a multitude of eyes turn to stare at the spectacle he was making.Â
âtheyâre- theyâre not mine,â clearing his throat as he clears his name, though he doesnât dare look in your direction, terrified that heâd absolutely lose his mind if he did.Â
âwell whoeverâs they are, i donât care, stop leaving them on the couch.. iâm sure our guest doesnât want to sit amongst dirty underwear,â she bites, calming down now she had gotten her point across.Â
if only she knew.Â
eddie mustâve fallen asleep with them still attached to his hand, thanking his lucky stars that no one had walked in on him with them pressed to his nose. Â
he keeps his head low, focusing on the plate in front of him. nothing had ever been as mortifying as this. not even the time he had slipped off the dinner table in the middle of the cafeteria.Â
cutlery scrapes and clinks against the china, uncomfortable silence until argyle clears his throat, âgnarly meal robin, thanks dude,â seemingly settling the tense atmosphere, for now.Â
everybody hums in agreement, getting back to their food without another word. but your eyes peek up, meeting his with an indescribable glint. and really, the worst part is that eddie would sit through this horrific situation a hundred more times, just for one more measly sniff at your panties.Â
-
eddie canât take it anymore.Â
heâs never been so pent up in his entire life. and heâs tried to hold on until he could move back into his room but he couldnât last any longer.Â
but heâs careful, waiting for everyone to trundle on off to bed, listening carefully for the muted click of the light switch and even then, waiting another hour to be sure.Â
the clock glares an alarming 1:04 by the time his belt clinks and his jeans come down, the first of them would be awake in just a few hours, ready to take you on to the airport.Â
he wishes it wouldâve played out differently, that he wouldnât be sat here on the last night of your stay alone. but alas, eddieâs never been particularly brave and especially not in regards to hot women.Â
your panties wrapped around his right hand as he spits on his left, wrapping around his stiff cock while his fingertips play with the lace in his other hand.Â
âohh fuck,â he hisses, wanting nothing more than to start hollering the house down.Â
robin wouldnât be too pleased if she ever found out what heâd done. and he canât really afford to get the entire couch dry-cleaned so he really must be careful.Â
thinking quick, he shoves his t-shirt into his mouth, muffling the chorus of grunts and groans threatening to spill over into the dark room. the muted light from the tv illuminates his face, breathing loudly through his noseÂ
he hadnât heard the door open or the soft sound of your feet padding down the hall, only made aware of your presence when he reopens his eyes, near enough jumping out of his bones.Â
how long had you been there watching him shudder and whine?
âfuck,â he exclaims, fist still wrapped tight around his throbbing cock, too aroused to care about it too much.Â
âyou want some help with that?âÂ
eddie looks at his dick, then back at you, mouth hung open in a mixture of awe and confusion.Â
itâs not very clear but you move closer anyway, sinking to your knees and nestling in between his spread legs.Â
âokay?â maintaining eye contact despite how difficult it was, eyes bright and eager.Â
he nods, unable to comprehend what was happening. knowing heâd wake up from this twisted dream to some soggy boxers and a whole lotta shame.Â
your palm wraps around the base of his cock, shooing his hands away to make room, smiling as your lips wrap around the already leaking tip. were you a psychopath? were you placed on this earth to goad and tease him?
this isnât real. this isnât real. the voice repeats around his head though itâs quickly silenced by your tongue swirling circles around the tip of his cock, readjusting his t-shirt to bite down harshly on the fabric.Â
eddieâs hands lay useless on his thighs, twitching to intertwine with your hair, still doubting the reality of the situation. this could all be a dream and the second he touches your hair, youâd disappear from in front of his eyes.
the t-shirt falls from his lips, âfuuck,â grunting into the tense air, gritting his teeth so as to not expose your precarious position to the rest of the house.Â
the wet sounds of your lips wrapped tight around his cock make his toes curl, his hands find your hair, not without prompting from you. tugging gently at the tendrils as his head starts to spin.Â
when your eyes look up to meet his, eddie thinks he might just cum right down your throat then and there. he can see that troublesome glint in your eye, a roaring fire that he so desperately wants to keep stoking.Â
your fingers slide up his thigh, finding his neglected balls and with a slight smirk, you grab ahold, gently fondling them as his brain melts out of his ears.Â
no one had ever, ever made him feel so good. collectively losing brain cells when you hum on his cock, getting just as much out of this as he was.Â
âoh yeah, fuck- shit fuck, iâmcummingiâmcummingiâmcumming,â eddieâs mouth rushes, louder than he ever shouldâve been. bright flashes of light fill his peripheral, using your scalp as leverage to keep himself on the couch.Â
his hips stutter, thrusting into your mouth with his fingers tight in your hair, yanking harshly in an effort to get your lips off of him before he came everywhere.Â
you donât budge, nails digging into his thigh as his release seeps down your throat, his eyes squeezing shut as his fist instinctively comes up to muffle his mouth, moaning into his clammy palm instead of alerting the entire house.Â
eddieâs other hand lets go of his strong hold on your hair, allowing you to get off of his dick, panting happily as you sit up between his knees and with lips glistening with his release, you kiss him. all soft and gentle while his brain fails to compute.Â
it should be gross. but eddie just canât find it in himself to care, because in reality, this was the hottest thing that had ever happened in his measly little life.Â
âplease let me taste you,â he begs between kisses, grasping desperately at your waist, the fabric of your shirt slipping between his desperate fingers.
you giggle, pulling back to look at him through the dimmed light, ânot now,â you hover just above, constantly teasing and unobtainable
âwell when?" jutting his bottom lip out in hopes it'd convince you to change your mind.
"when i'm back," letting him down gently. eddie'd count the seconds till you came back if that was what it took to get even a tiny glimpse of your pussy.
âwhat time do you leave?â he pants, chasing your lips. eddie was nothing if not a chancer, though if it hadn't happened already, there's a miniscule chance of it happening now.
âseven,â whispering back, a hint of annoyance that this build up had only crescendoed now, just as you were about to leave. he'll blame robin for that, poking her nose in and trying to turn him off. it shouldn't have worked. he should've been braver.
âbut itâs your turn,â an awful sadness and regret overcoming him. someone better, someone like steve, would've had you pinned to that couch by now, his head between your thighs and your slick dripping down his chin. Â
ânext time,â only repeating yourself, smiling coyly before you plant one last kiss to his longing lips before standing fully upright and disappearing back off to his room, leaving him reeling with a story nobody else would ever believe.
#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x you#eddie munson stranger things
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
i normally dont replay routes but i think i will replay asagi.... i get why ppl dont like it bcs tbh it is POORLY executed and honestly.. objectively speaking i should have hated it bcs his route was so shit. But somehow he became my 2nd fave overall watdahell it doesnt help that i wouldnt exactly rank lp high in my list either....... asagi sensei what did u do to me
#legit when my friends tell me âwow his route is so dogshitâ#i am like YES SPEAK UR TRUTH#it's SO BAD WHY DID THEY DO HIM SO DIRTY LMAO#they did kazuma SOOO DIRTY TOO#kazama had like. The BEST SET UP and the the writers were like âwhat if we chuck it all out to the window and make his route go downhillâ#wow thanks!#istg lp wouldve been tons better if chiyuki wasnt like âoh what if i get closer to LI so i can find out if he is my brotherâ#GIRL WHAT????#LOOK I LIKE ME SOME TROPES BUT THIS IS MODERN ERA GET A GRIP GIRL LOL#tfw chiyuki walks away crying going like âwhat if he doesnt like me back boohooâ#GIRL DONT U HAVE A BIGGER FISH TO FRY#LIKE... YOU KNOW... THE POSSIBILITY THAT UR CRUSH IS UR BROTHER LOL#i cannot take this game seriously istg#i love incest but lp had all my gross radars ringing#prob bcs it's modern era and the incest aspect is supp to be treated as smth accidental rather than intentional at the writer's part LMAO#GRAAAH#ANYWAYS!#asagi is the best thank yoy
0 notes
Text
"an inconvenient attachment"
Pairing: sae x fem!reader Genre: fluff with smut, fwb to lovers, minors dni! Summary: what you and sae have is completely casualâ or at least itâs supposed to be. heâs fine with it at first, until he starts to realize how much he actually likes being around you. now heâs starting to wonder if casual is enough. WC: 20k+ (haha, iâm in danger) Warnings: nsfw, some pwp (mostly plot though), alcohol, casual/no strings sex (until it isnât đ), car sex, fingering, light choking, reader and sae are in their mid-20s, reader is also incredibly forward and kind of shameless lmao, pro!athlete sae, big time jealousy, misunderstandings, lots of pining but also lots of denial, sae being annoying and bad at feelings but also very much into you A/N: watched bluelock for the first time this past year and immediately fell victim to the itoshi brothers. consider this an ode to my suffering <3 -Dawn
Sae doesnât really know what the two of you are to each other.
He knows you hate driving in the rain and love reading at the park, just like he knows how you take your coffee and what your voice sounds like when you first wake up in the morning, all sleepy and soft.
He also knows what you look like tangled in the sheets of his bed, just like he knows how to make you fall apart with his mouth and hands and tongue. He takes pleasure in leaving you bleary-eyed and breathless, in watching you grip at his sheets and drag your nails across his skin as you say his name again and again.
But when it comes to your current relationship, to what the two of you actually mean to each other? Sae has no idea. Youâve never bothered to put a label on it. He figures youâve never felt the need to, even though normally youâre the kind of person who labels everything, from the colorful tabs in your planner to the glass containers in your pantry.
Not that Sae has any room to judge. He hasnât made much of an effort to define things between you, either. Heâs not one for titles or attachments, least of all romantic ones. He never has been, and thatâs something he made clear to you from the beginning, long before the two of you ever shared a bed and started whatever the hell this thing is that exists between you now.
If heâs being honest, Sae didnât really think much of you at first. He remembers meeting you, completely against his will, at a party he never wanted to attend in the first place, one that his teammates insisted on dragging him to.
In the beginning, you were just another face in the crowd, the best friend of Aina, Oliverâs notorious on-again, off-again girlfriend.
Sae never planned on seeing you again, much less actually getting to know you. In fact, he was fully content to forget you completely, but he couldnât. And it wasnât because he had a change of heart or because he was particularly interested in you, but because you made it practically impossible to ignore you.
You, with your ridiculous laugh and your know-it-all demeanor and your unreasonably animated way of talking. Itâs no surprise that you were an instant hit amongst his teammates. They all took to you right away, captivated by your quick comebacks and witty humor, by your easy confidence and natural charm.
And though Sae will never say it out loud, he could admit, even back then, that he understood the appeal, at least in a general sense. Youâre smart and funny, not to mention daring and lively, with the kind of effortless charisma that makes everyone want to be around you.
You laugh at his dry humor and unapologetic bluntness, but you also donât hesitate to call him out when heâs being a dick. And it doesnât hurt that youâre completely gorgeous, either, a vision in smooth satin and shimmery lip gloss whenever he sees you on nights when his teammates actually manage to bully him out of his apartment.
Soon youâre everywhere, laughing during game nights at Oliverâs place and rolling your eyes in the background of Shidouâs Instagram stories. Sae doesnât accept their invitations to go out too often, but when he does, youâre always there, just as much a part of the group as everyone else isâ even more than Sae is, most of the time.
You cheer him and the rest of the team on at games, send him new recipes to try and stupid videos he only sometimes replies to.
And inconveniently, inevitably, you start to grow on him.
Then one night, against his better judgment, he offers to drive you home from the bar, and to his surprise, you accept.
Saeâs not entirely sure why he does it. After all, itâs unlike him to inconvenience himself or go out of his way for the sake of others. But then he remembers the cheeky way you were acting with him earlier and decides itâs worth it, if only to see what youâll do.
Thereâs always been a certain kind of tension between you and Sae, an unspoken chemistry neither of you has ever been able to replicate with anyone else. Heâs never acted on it, of course. Heâs never felt the need to, until now.
Youâve been flirting with him even more than usual tonight, brushing your hand against his arm and leaning in close to whisper in his ear. Heâd be lying if he said he didnât like it.
Sae has always appreciated how forward you are, how honest. Youâre the kind of person who always speaks your mind, who never hesitates to go after what you want. Itâs part of what makes him respect you so much.
Itâs also why he doesnât bother to stop you. Why he doesnât push you away from him, no matter how close you get or how bold your hands become. It does something to him, he realizes, having you touch him so casually. Makes him possessive in a way he never expected heâd be over anyone, least of all you.
Still, he doesnât take it as anything more than what it is. Youâre always like this, all playful and coy, especially after you've had a shot or two. He knows better than to think it means anything. He takes it upon himself to drive you home anyway, the idea of you being so casual and touchy with any of his other teammates leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
You look unfairly beautiful sitting in the passenger seat of his car, all smooth skin and smokey eyes, jacket sliding halfway off your shoulders as you wave your hands around and tell a story heâs only half-listening to. Youâre absolutely stunning and therefore annoyingly distracting, not that heâll ever grant you the satisfaction of telling you that himself.
The lot behind your building is quiet when he pulls his car in, empty. You unbuckle your seatbelt and thank him for driving you home, but make no move to leave.
Sae notices but doesnât call you out on it, dismissing your gratitude with his usual impassiveness. He also doesnât stop you when you reach out to touch him. Your fingers brush against his collar, smoothing over the fabric on his shoulder.
He has makeup on his shirt, you tell him. Itâs yours, of course, the shade of the smudge an identical match to the color staining your lips. It mustâve happened when you leaned in to talk to him earlier.
Sae isnât surprised. Youâre the only person he lets be that close to him, the only person he wants that close. And right now, youâre smiling like you already know, like you revel in it.
âSorry about that,â you say, without an ounce of guilt in your voice, dragging your nail over the stain.
Sae watches the way you watch him, the way your eyes drift down to stare at his lips. Thereâs something wanting and possessive in your gaze, something he thinks has been there for a while now. âNo, youâre not.â
âYouâre right.â The laugh you give is shameless, your smile brazen as you move your hand from his shoulder to his chest, fingertips skimming against the buttons of his shirt. âIâm not.â
You kiss him, then, a heated and hungry thing as bold and unapologetic as you are. He surprises himself by letting you, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and dragging your bottom lip between his teeth, a calloused hand moving up to cradle your jaw.
Soon youâre kicking off your heels and shrugging off your jacket, tossing it blindly into the backseat and climbing over the center console. You settle into his lap like you belong there, straddling his thighs with your bare knees. He trails his lips along your throat and chest, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your heated skin and pulling down the front of your dress so he can reach more of you.
His hands push the skirt of your dress up and over your hips, palms smoothing over your skin, and you tug at his hair, pressing your body firmly against his. The movement is exactly what you both need, your hips grinding into his lap.
You both groan when the head of his cock catches against your clothed center. You roll your hips into his again, chasing the friction, his grip on your hips turning bruising.
Sae presses a hand between your legs and pulls your underwear to the side, just enough to run a finger along your slit and gather the wetness there. He lets out a strained curse and drags his teeth along your throat when he feels how warm and wanting you already are, all because of him.
Thatâs all the convincing he needs to fuck you open with his fingers, while you grind yourself down against his hand, making breathy little sounds in his ear that he decides he wants to hear more of. You undo the buttons of his shirt and tear the material open, hands roaming over his chest as much as the limited space will allow.
Itâs not long after that you decide you want more, undoing the button of his pants and yanking down his zipper with little restraint. He mutters something about you being an impatient brat under his breath, but he doesn't stop you.
Instead, he lets you pull his leaking cock out and wrap your hand around his shaft. He bites back a groan as you squeeze him at the base and move your hand up and down in slow, even strokes, smearing precum along the length of him.
You surge forward to kiss him again, and itâs all Sae can do to meet you halfway, curling his fingers inside of you and making you gasp against his lips. You cling to his shoulders and whisper into his ear, telling him how good he feels, how badly you want him inside of youâ all of him, this time, not just his fingers.
Your words go straight to his already painfully hard cock, making him buck up into your hand and reach out blindly for the condoms he keeps in his car. You end up beating him to it, fumbling for only a moment before pulling one out of your purse and tearing the packet open with your teeth.
You donât waste any more time after that, rolling the condom down over his length while Sae slips his fingers out of you and plants his hands on either side of your waist. You line him up with your entrance and sink yourself onto him with a gasp, hips pressing flush against his as you moan and dig your nails into his skin. He tightens his grip on your waist and muffles his own moan against your lips, the kiss he presses to your mouth all tongue and teeth.
You ride him, head thrown back and lips parted, while he leans back to watch you with half-lidded eyes, taking in the sight of you fucking yourself on his cock and pushing his hips up to meet yours.
You look absolutely breathtaking, hips rolling and circling as you gasp out his name and tell him how deep he is and how good heâs making you feel. One of his hands presses against your throat while the other squeezes at your hip, helping you lift yourself up and sink back down to take more of him.
With his lips mouthing at your neck and his thumb drifting down to rub circles into your clit, it isnât long before you find yourself tipping over the edge. He follows you almost immediately after, spurred on by the scrape of your nails against his scalp and the tightening of your walls around him.
Youâre both panting when itâs over, foreheads pressed together and hearts racing as you slump against one another and try to catch your breath. You recover faster than he does and press a parting kiss to his lips that feels almost too sweet after what youâve just done, climbing off his lap and over the console on shaky legs.
You almost slip when you do, his hand shooting out to steady you at the last second. You laugh while he rolls his eyes and tells you to be more careful, keeping his hand on your hip until finally you settle back safely into the passenger seat.
Youâre both quiet as you set to work on fixing your clothing and cleaning yourselves up, redoing zippers and clasping buttons in an effort to make yourselves look presentable again.
Sae finds himself grateful for the silence. It gives him the chance to process exactly whatâs just happened between you, and âmore importantlyâ to decide whatâs going to happen after.
The sex was good, obviously. Better than good. The best heâs had in a while, maybe even the best heâs had everâ though he thinks heâd rather die than be caught saying any of that out loud. He imagines it mustâve been the same for you, if the way you moaned his name and fell apart around him are anything to go by.
Still, Sae knows himself, which is why he knows better than to allow it to mean anything. He doesnât need a relationship right now, nor does he particularly want one. He likes you well enough, in a way that makes him view you as slightly less irritating than he does everyone elseâ but wanting you and wanting to be with you are two very different things.
And at this point in his life, Sae doesnât want to actually be with anyone, not even you. He doesnât have the time for it, and even if he did, he wouldnât have the patience.
Sure, heâs dated before, but it was never anything serious. Never anything real. All of his previous relationships âif one could even call them thatâ were just for show, nothing more than publicity stunts orchestrated by his PR team with models and socialites heâs never really cared about.
Most of them understood the arrangement quite well, knowing it wouldnât last. Some of them didnât and tried to make it into something more, but itâs never worked. Saeâs never allowed it. As a result, heâs become an expert at shutting people down, at crushing their hopes of receiving anything more than what heâs willing to give them.
He tells you as much after youâre both dressed again, fully prepared to disappoint you and the hopes youâve no doubt allowed to build freely inside your head. Heâs not cruel enough to say it in a way that hurts you âat least not on purposeâ but he wants to be honest. The last thing he needs is for you to get the wrong idea and start thinking that this is going to change anything between you.
âYou should know,â he starts, serious and stoic as ever, âIâm not looking for a relationship. The only thing Iâm interested in right now is soccer.â
He pauses, bracing himself for your reaction, for the moment when his words finally sink in and you realize that he has no intention of taking this any further. He watches your face carefully, mentally preparing himself for what he knows is going to be the inevitable fallout.
Heâs spent enough time with you by now to know youâre not really the crying type, so heâs comfortable with knowing that he at least wonât see any tears. He does, however, expect some swearing on your part, maybe even a little bit of yelling, just enough to let him know that you think heâs an asshole.
To Saeâs surprise, none of that happens. Thereâs no anger, no confrontation, no fallout. Instead of shouting at him and telling him to go fuck himself, the way he initially expected you to, you smile at him and slip the straps of your dress back up over your shoulders, nodding like this is exactly what you were expecting, like you couldnât agree more.
âYeah, I figured as much,â you say, laughing lightly, casually, as you finish readjusting the rest of your clothing. âYour emotional unavailability kind of gave it away. Well, that and your apathy, though Iâm starting to think the latter is less of a relationship deterrent and more of just you being yourself.â
You arenât wrong, of course, but the bluntness of your words still makes him scowl, which in turn just makes you laugh even more.
âHey, I never said I didnât like it.â You slip your heels on your feet and lean down to secure the straps, though not before sending him a teasing grin from over your shoulder. âIâll have you know, emotionally unavailable and apathetic is exactly my type. Helps if they have pretty eyes and great hair, too.â
Predictably, Sae ignores your blatant flirting in favor of rolling his eyes. Still, he doesnât hesitate to help when he sees you struggling to retrieve your jacket from the backseat, reaching behind him to grab it and offering it to you with ease.
âSeems like an easy way to get yourself hurt,â he deadpans, before you get the chance to thank him.
âYouâre such a pessimist, Sae.â You roll your eyes at his response, but the smile you give as you take your jacket from him is grateful and genuine. âMy point is, if youâre worried about me reading into things, donât be. Iâm not expecting anything from you. If weâre being honest, Iâm not really looking for anything serious right now, either.â
He knows you mean it âyouâre too honest not toâ but he raises an eyebrow at you, anyway, examining you carefully for even the slightest hint of doubt.
âSo youâre really okay with things staying the same between us?â
âOf course I am. I wouldnât have kissed you if I wasnât. But you have my number if you ever want to do this again.â
You gather the rest of your things before leaning over and pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. Itâs light and offhanded, free of any pressure or expectations. Then you smile at him, lifting your hand to give a little wave.
âIâll see you later, Sae.â
You leave his car with that smile still on your face and your purse in your hand. He watches you go, not taking his eyes off of you until you make it inside your building. You donât turn back to look at him once.
And though he tries not to âthough he likes to believe heâs above such baseless, lukewarm desiresâ he thinks about your offer on the way home.
It doesnât take him long to make up his mind.
He texts you three days later. The messages are short and to the point âboring, he knows youâd call themâ just a simple âheyâ followed by a blunt âwanna come over?â that he regrets sending almost immediately after it goes through, mostly because he knows youâre never going to let him live it down.
You donât disappoint, replying back a few minutes later with a âdamn already??â and an âit was that good huh đđđ€Șâ that he pointedly ignores. He threatens to block you, you laugh at the message, and less than an hour later, youâre at his door.
This time, Saeâs the one who kisses you first, easing you onto his bed and pushing your thighs apart so he can slot himself between them. His lips trail down your neck, his teeth nipping at your throat. His hands are everywhere, roaming over your body and helping you slip out of your clothes until youâre completely bare beneath him.
He makes you cum twice with his mouth, another time with his fingersâ and only then does he finally slide himself into you, hands gripping your thighs and chest pressing into yours.
Practice was cut short today in favor of a press conference Sae couldnât have cared less about, so he has a lot of pent-up energy, which he immediately sets on using to throw your legs over his shoulders and thoroughly fuck you into his mattress.
You donât complain about it, either, too lost in the pleasure of it all to scold him for the tight grip he has on your hips or the way heâs nearly folding you in half beneath him. You even make a joke about it afterwards, muttering something about how they should cancel his practices more often.
âBut only on the weekends,â you add seriously, trying to catch your breath. âThe last thing I need is my co-workers watching me wobble into my office because of it.â
Sae actually laughs, though he tries not to. You beam at the sound, only to end up flipping him off moments later, when you rise on trembling legs in search of your clothes and catch him smirking knowingly at you.
And itâs simple, he thinks, doing this with you. Simple and comfortable and not the least bit complicated, which is exactly how he likes it.
You must feel the same way, because the next time it happens, youâre the one who calls first, inviting him up to your apartment and latching your lips to his neck before heâs even fully through the door.
You never really talk about it, nor do you establish any real boundaries beyond that initial conversation you had that first night in his car, but Sae figures you donât really need to. It goes without saying that this thing between you is completely casual, just a way to satisfy your physical needs and work off some stress whenever you both need it.
Neither of you wants an actual relationship, but that doesnât mean youâre opposed to sleeping together every now and then, especially when the sex is as good as itâs been. So you keep at it, meeting up whenever you have some free time and fucking until youâve both had your fill, all without ever expecting anything more.
Sae doesnât tell anyone about your arrangement. Neither do you. You both agree itâs easier that way, in the name of keeping things smooth and uncomplicated.
Heâs not ashamed of what the two of you are doing âhe knows you arenât, eitherâ but neither one of you wants the headache of having to explain it to the well-intentioned but ultimately chronic meddlers you call your friends. So you keep it to yourselves, treating each other the same way you normally would without any extra consideration or kindness.
You both get really good at it, too, maintaining your composure no matter how many stupid and suggestive comments Shidou and Oliver make about the mystery girl heâs always texting, or how often Aina bugs you to show her a picture of the guy she swears has got you dickmatized.
Saeâs sure they have their suspicions, but he knows that he isnât among them. As far as everyone else is concerned, you and him are just friends, even if you do have a habit of getting a little handsy whenever you think no one is looking.
It helps that youâve been shamelessly flirting with him since the day you met, so no one ever bats an eye when they see you brushing your hand against his chest or leaning in close to whisper in his ear. Everyone just assumes that itâs you being your normal, bold and affectionate self, and that Sae âmoody, stoic, emotionless Saeâ will brush it off and ignore you the way he always does.
They have no idea that as soon as youâre alone, the exact opposite happens. That heâs trailing his lips along your neck and sliding his hands up your skirt, while you lock your legs around his waist and pull him in closer, the way youâve been doing for weeks now.
Saeâs honestly a little surprised no oneâs figured it out yet. More than that, though, heâs shocked that heâs still hooking up with you at all.
Itâs not like him to stick with someone for so long, especially without his manager breathing down his neck to keep it up for the publicity. He thought your arrangement would last a week, maybe two weeks, topsâ but here you both are, still going nearly two months later, with no signs of stopping anytime soon.
He was so sure heâd be bored of it by now, but he isnât. He canât be, not with you. Youâre too good at distracting him. Youâre even better at making him trust you.
And the more time he spends with you, the more he realizes just how easy it is to be around you.
The thing about Sae is that heâs never really been the kind of person who has a lot of friends. He has his teammates and his manager, his parents and sometimes his brother, but heâs never had someone who wasnât obligated to be around him. Never someone who didnât expect anything of him.
You, thoughâ you spend time with him on purpose, not because of anything he can give you. Even if this thing between you ends tomorrow, Sae knows it wouldnât change anything.
Youâd still be there, still without expecting anything, because thatâs just who you are. Because for some odd reason, you actually like being around him, despite his attitude and his indifference, despite all the things his teammates and the media are always giving him shit for.
He thinks youâve always liked being around him, even before you started sleeping together. He knows he doesnât make it easy, but youâre patient with him despite that, giving him space when he needs it and pushing him when he doesnât.
And heâll never say it out loud, but the truth is, he likes being around you, too. Almost enough to make him forget that this thing you have is only temporary.
Almost.
The first time you stay the night happens a week later.
Youâre both in his bed, all bare skin and tangled sheets as you come down from your respective highs and try to catch your breath. Outside his penthouse, the rain drones on, quieting the city below you into a nearly imperceptible hum.
Itâs well past midnight, so late that itâs early, and sure, Sae might be an assholeâ but heâs not cruel enough to make you drive home in the rain, especially when he knows how much you hate it.
âYou can sleep here if you want,â he says, without thinking much of it, right as you sit up to start looking for your clothes.
Understandably, the offer catches you off guard. Even in the dark, Sae can see the way you turn back and blink owlishly at him, eyebrows raised, like itâs the last thing you expected him to say.
Itâs kind of annoying, honestly, the way youâre looking at him right now. He knows heâs far from being the most considerate person in your life, but the way youâre gawking at him like heâs grown a second head feels a little dramatic.
Not that he can really blame you for being surprised. Youâve been hooking up almost daily for two months now, but not once during that time have either of you ever spent the night at the otherâs place.
Something about it feels different. More intimate, somehow, like itâs crossing a line thatâs supposed to be there, if only the two of you had bothered to draw it in the first place.
Sae realizes it at the same time you do and finds himself regretting making the offer at all. Heâs accepted the fact that the two of you are friends âalbeit begrudginglyâ but the last thing he wants is for you to think he meant anything by it.
âOr donât,â he adds quickly, careful to keep his tone as blank and detached as possible. âItâs up to you. I donât really care either way.â
From the corner of his eye, he watches you spare a glance at the window. The rain is still going, pouring unforgivingly against the glass, and it only seems to be getting worse.
The rumble of thunder that follows shortly after is enough to convince you to accept his offer. You shrug, murmuring a quiet thanks before laying back down and making yourself comfortable next to him.
Predictably, he says nothing in response to your gratitude. He moves over to give you some space and lets you tuck yourself back under the blanket, shutting his eyes as he settles onto his back.
When he feels your gaze on him moments later, he frowns, cracking an eye open to look at you. Sure enough, youâre staring right at him, a knowing, borderline smug smile on your face that lets him know youâre going to be completely insufferable about this.
âDonât,â he warns, before you can even get a word out.
You have the audacity to look offended. âWhaâ I havenât even said anything yet!â
âDidnât have to. Your face is saying plenty.â
He throws an arm over his eyes and does his best to ignore you, hoping youâll get bored enough with his inattention to let the whole thing go.
(You donât, of course, but he supposes you wouldnât be you if you did.)
In the end, itâs Sae who gives in first, uncovering his eyes against his better judgment and turning to face you with a scowl.
âWhat?â
âNothing,â youâre quick to reply, even as that smug little smile of yours curls into a grin. âIâm justâ Iâm surprised you offered to let me stay, is all. Itâs not what I was expecting.â
âYeah, well, it was either that or wake up tomorrow to a ten-minute voice note complaining about how shitty your drive home was and how close you were to death.â He turns on his side, shifting so he can face you fully. âI figured if I was going to be annoyed anyway, I might as well get it out of the way now.â
That earns him a smack to the shoulder, along with a scowl meant to convey how unamused you are with his words. He can only hope youâre too busy rolling your eyes to catch the way the corners of his lips twitch upwards, barely suppressing a smile.
âYouâre a dick. And for the record, if I did decide to grace you with one of my exciting and wonderfully detailed voice notes, it wouldâve been five, maybe six minutes, max.â
He raises an eyebrow, clearly not believing you, and you sigh in defeat, relenting.
âOkay, fine, six and a half, but can you blame me? I hate driving in the rain. Itâs scary and disorienting, and I always get paranoid that Iâm gonnaââ
âSpin out and end up on the side of the road,â Sae says, at the exact same time you do, making your eyes widen. âI know. I remember.â
And the crazy part is, he does. He remembers because he knows you, probably better than he knows anybody else, and itâs only now when heâs lying here with you, practically nose-to-nose in the dark, that he realizes just how much.
Heâs not sure how or when it happened, but it did. And now, he knows you. He really, really knows you, enough to accept your good-natured teasing and playful smugness, enough to consider your comfort and offer you a place in his bed.
And honestly? He has no idea how the hell heâs supposed to feel about that, so he ignores it entirely, the same way he ignored how his stomach fluttered and his chest warmed when you showed up with a bag of groceries and made him dinner earlier, for no discernable reason other than the fact that you wanted to spend time with him.
His only consolation is that you seem to be as surprised by it as he is. He watches as you blink at him in the dark, wide-eyed and a little stunned, like youâre seeing him for the first time.
Then you smile at him, soft and sweet, and Sae feels something in his stomach shift all over again, something warm and unfamiliar he canât name and honestly doesnât think he wants to.
âAnd here I thought sleepovers were against our unofficial rules,â you tease, nudging his leg with your own. âYou getting soft on me, Itoshi?â
âYou wish,â he denies, scoffing for good measure. âThis is a one-time thing. Iâll be back to my usual asshole self in the morning.â
âBummer.â You nuzzle your face into the pillow beneath your head, stifling a yawn that betrays how tired you really are. âI kind of like you like this.â
âYou like me naked and annoyed?â
âNo, dummy. I meant sweet and concerned. Itâs a surprisingly good look on you. A rare one, but a good one.â You close your eyes, lips curling into a playful smile. âNakedâs a pretty close second, though.â
In response, he flicks your forehead with his thumb and forefinger. You make a noise of protest but keep your eyes shut, swatting blindly at his hand, and for that, he finds himself grateful. He doesnât think heâll ever live it down if you catch the way his lips twitch into a smile.
âJust shut up and go to sleep, you little pervert.â
For once, you actually listen to him, bidding him a drowsy âgoodnightâ and knocking out almost immediately after. He falls asleep not long after you do, drifting off to the sound of your steady breathing and the patter of midnight rain.
Sae wakes before you the next morning, and the first thing he notices is how much closer you are to him now than when you fell asleep.
Heâs not sure how it happened, but it seems that somehow over the course of the night, youâve managed to curl yourself into his side. Now, your head is resting comfortably on his chest, your hand splayed against the muscles of his abdomen.
Sae wishes he could blame the new and compromising position solely on you, but sadly he canât. At least not when he looks down and finds that his own traitorous arm has wrapped itself around your waist to keep you pressed against him, one of his legs tangled with yours.
Itâs cuddly and intimate and most definitely against the unofficial rules of your arrangement, but still, he canât find it in himself to wake you. He doesnât shove you off, either, even though he knows he should, half because he thinks heâd rather die than talk to you about this and half because he doesnât hate it nearly as much as he thought it would.
Youâre pretty like this, Sae thinks distantly, completely unprovoked. You always are, but youâre softer when youâre asleep, more relaxed. Itâs different from the version of you heâs used to, the one thatâs loud and a little bit unruly, who talks a mile a minute and knocks back caffeine like itâs water because she always has a million different things to do.
He never imagined heâd get the chance to see you like this, all delicate and vulnerable. He never imagined he would want to, or that looking at you would make him feel this way, warm and fond and ridiculous. Human, too, in the way he so often likes to forget he is.
He spends longer than he should taking in the curve of your lips, the slope of your cheek. He untangles himself from you as carefully as he can manage and forces himself out of bed before he does something really stupid, like brush your hair out of your face or swipe his thumb against your cheek.
Sae takes a cold shower and runs through whatâs left of his morning routine, willing all the strange thoughts heâs having about you to disappear.
It works for the most part, until you come padding into the kitchen and join him at the counter like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
Youâre bare-faced and sleepy, dressed in one of his t-shirts and the sweatpants he let you borrow last night, glasses perched on the bridge of your nose and your hair pulled up and away from your face. He thinks fleetingly that itâs the cutest youâve ever looked, which is not only ridiculous but also so unlike him that he has to resist the urge to vomit right then and there.
Somehow he manages, handing you a cup of steaming coffee as soon as you approach. You take it from him without hesitation, accepting the drink with a grateful smile and murmuring a quiet good morning.
If youâre surprised by the gesture, you donât show it, too busy sipping gingerly at your coffee and letting it wake you up. Then youâre launching into your usual upbeat chatter, this time about your job and the co-worker who you swear youâre one âas per my last emailâ away from fist-fighting in the conference room.
Itâs normal enough to distract him, allowing him to push away the memory of how you woke up this morning and all the sappy shit heâs been thinking about you as a result.
He almost forgets about it entirely, until later that night when he slips into bed and catches the scent of your shampoo on his pillow.
Thatâs when his mind begins to drift, completely against his will. He starts remembering all sorts of unwelcome things, like the weight of you in his arms, the curve of your lashes against your cheek, how tempted he was to brush your hair out of your face and pull you closerâ
Sae huffs and flips the pillow over, somewhere between confused and annoyed, though whether itâs with you or himself, he isnât sure.
He turns around and closes his eyes, forcing himself to sleep, but the thought of you lingers.
Itâs Aina âand, by default, Oliverâ who finds out first.
It happens on a Saturday morning, nearly four months into your arrangement with Sae. Aina shows up at your apartment completely unannounced, with a tray of coffee and a surprisingly dutiful Oliver in tow, carrying the rest of the bags. (Apparently, itâs an on-week for them.)
They mean to surprise you with breakfast, hoping to convince you over french toast and scrambled eggs to put a pause on your âno relationships allowedâ policy and agree to a double date with one of his teammates.
One could only imagine their surprise when they find you standing in your entryway with an entirely different teammate, one who apparently already has access to sleepover privileges. And with Sae in his clothes from the night before and you in your robe and absolutely nothing else, it isnât hard for them to put two and two together and realize what youâve been up to.
The silence that follows their discovery is the loudest Sae thinks heâs ever heard in his life. Thereâs an uncomfortably long moment where the four of you just stand there and stare at each other, not saying a single word.
Aina is the first to react, letting out an Oscar-worthy gasp loud enough to alert your neighbors. Her eyes go wide, jaw dropping as her gaze jumps back and forth between you and Sae, like her brain canât fully make sense of what sheâs seeing.
âHoly shit.â
Oliver, on the other hand, appears to be having the time of his life, leering at the two of you with the largest and most shit-eating grin youâve ever seen on his face, like this is the best news heâs heard all week.
âNo fucking way,â he says, two-toned eyes darting between you and Sae wickedly, before settling on you once more. âYou bagged Itoshi?â
Itâs a pretty spot-on assumption, Sae thinks, even if the way Oliver says it is stupid and irritating as hell. You are the one who approached him first, as well as the one who initiated things that first night you slept together. Not that itâs anyone elseâs business, anyway, least of all nosy-ass Oliverâs.
You and Sae exchange glances, a silent conversation passing between you. Itâs a testament to how familiar youâve grown with one another over the past few months, where just one look is enough for the two of you to get an idea of what the other is thinking.
Having two of the loudest people you know find out youâve been sleeping together isnât ideal âneither Aina nor Oliver is exactly known for their subtletyâ but itâs not the end of the world.
The two of you agreed to keep things quiet because you wanted your privacy, not because youâre ashamed of what youâve been doing, so telling them wonât change much, as long as they donât make it a big deal.
And besides, itâs not like youâre in any position to deny it, not when theyâve caught you red-handed.
Still, Aina and Oliver are more your friends than they are Saeâs, so he has no problem with you taking the lead on this one, which he attempts to communicate with a subtle nod of his head.
Thankfully, you seem to understand exactly what he means, clearing your throat and drawing all eyes back to you.
You pointedly ignore Oliver and his devilish smirk in favor of focusing on your best friend, who seems to be short-circuiting in light of the new information thatâs been presented to her today. You take it all in stride, wielding that same easy confidence that Saeâs always admired in you, and nod at the tray sheâs carrying.
âIs that iced coffee for me?â
Aina, for her part, still appears to be at a loss for words, but she makes an effort to answer you all the same, a confused but otherwise affirmative sound leaving her lips in response. You smile, reaching out to pluck the drink from its tray.
âCool. Thanks.â You take a sip of your coffee before returning your attention to the midfielder beside you, offering him a warm smile and a parting wave. âBye, Sae.â
Itâs an easy out, of course, one that Sae is quick to accept, nodding at you and the stunned couple across from you before taking his leave.
The last thing he hears before your door shuts is the sound of Ainaâs voice, baffled and utterly disbelieving as it rings out into your apartment.
âYouâve been fucking Itoshi Sae?!â
Her astonishment is a sentiment that carries over into the texts she sends you that same night, complete with various emojis and an assortment of reaction images she hopes will reflect her lingering shock. Oliver isnât far behind her, though the texts he sends you are more teasing than anything else.
Still, theyâre both strangely supportive about the whole thing. They even promise to keep what theyâve learned to themselves, though they still canât quite believe it.
You show the texts to Sae the next time youâre at his place, letting him read them over your shoulder as the two of you lounge together in his bed, your back against his chest and his arm wound loosely around your waist.
The reaction images are sadly lost on him âSae, as it turns out, really only cares about soccer, which means he has the social media literacy of a 70-year-old manâ but heâs able to catch the gist.
You laugh about it together anyway, though for him itâs more of a little hum, followed by that tiny amused smirk youâre seeing more and more of every day.
âDid they seriously congratulate you for sleeping with me?â
âYup. Itâs a big deal, according to them. Theyâre both very proud of me.â You lock your phone and set it gently on his nightstand, twisting in his arms to face him with a teasing grin. âApparently, Iâm hooking up with the hottest midfielder in the league.â
He brushes off the comment at first, the way he seems to do with all of your obvious flirting, but he doesnât stop you when you lift your leg and hike it over his hip.
And maybe itâs because heâs tired from practice, or maybe itâs because being around you relaxes him in a way he isnât used toâ but he ends up pulling you closer, palm smoothing over your skin and tracing a path up your leg.
âWell,â he mutters, hand squeezing appreciatively at your thigh, âitâs not like theyâre wrong.â
âI dunnoâŠâ You let your voice trail off, fingertips skimming down his chest as you pretend to think about it. âI mean, âhottest midfielderâ is a really big title, and from what Iâve seen, your brotherâs pretty hot, too.â
âMy brotherâs a striker, dumbass.â
âEven better. Think you can put in a good word for me?â
He shoots you a flat look, unimpressed by your joke, while you grin at him and crack up like you're the funniest person in the world. Youâre still laughing when he reaches behind his head for a pillow and smacks you right in the face with it, squeaking out a âhey, wait, Iâm kiddingâ Iâm kidding!â between bursts of laughter.
And itâs ridiculous, Sae thinks, how easily the sound of your laugh softens him, how quickly it makes him forget about ever being annoyed. It shouldnât, but it does, and right now heâs trying very hard not to think about what that might mean.
So he pushes it down and ignores it, the same way heâs forced himself to ignore how comfortable heâs gotten with you these past few months, hooking his hand behind your knee and rolling you both over so youâre laying on your back with him hovering above you.
He kisses you, then, deep and wanting in the way he knows you like, the one that leaves you breathless, half to distract himself and half because he wants to. You welcome him eagerly the way you always do, hooking your arms around his neck and tangling your fingers in his hair in an effort to bring him closer to you.
He breaks the kiss before it can go any further, drawing back just enough so that his lips are hovering above your own. You open your eyes, pupils blown out with desire, blinking at him expectantly as you wait for him to kiss you again.
When he doesnât, you move for him, leaning up to press your lips back against his. He moves just out of reach at the last second, leaving you with a crease in your forehead and a pout on your lips thatâs almost cute enough for him to give you what you want. Almost.
But Sae, as youâve both learned, has a bit of a possessive streak. And while heâs already forgiven you for your earlier teasing, he hasnât forgotten. And he intends, in true egoist fashion, to have the last word, even if it means having to stave off his own desires for a bit.
âYou still interested in my brother?â he asks, and itâs pointed, goading. Probably the closest heâll get to admitting how utterly disinterested he is in sharing you with anyone else.
âWait, you have a brother?â You widen your eyes and pretend to be shocked, batting your lashes innocently before shaking your head. âNever heard of him.â
âIdiot,â he tells you, quiet, fond. Affectionate, too, if youâd listen closely enough. If heâd let you.
You merely laugh in response, bright and airy, before wrapping your arms around his neck and tugging him down to you. This time, he doesnât pull away, leaning down to kiss you and feeling your smile against his lips.
Itâs not long after that your kisses turn heated and wanting, his tongue and lips tracing a path down your neck and over your breasts. He takes one nipple into his mouth and rolls the other between his thumb and index finger, your nails digging into his back as you moan, pretty and breathless into his ear.
One of the perks of your arrangement lasting so long is that itâs made Sae somewhat of an expert at taking you apart. He knows exactly how to make you feel good, knows your body and all of its little tells, all the ways you like to be touched.
It doesnât take much for him to have you desperate and keening, just his tongue at your clit and his fingers deep in your cunt, curling against the spot that makes your eyes roll back.
Soon youâre pulling at his hair, your arousal dripping down his wrist and chin as you whine at him to fuck you, all trembling thighs and breathy whimpers. He obliges, half because youâre practically begging for it and half because he wants you so much, itâs starting to make him dizzy.
Itâs not always like this. Most nights Sae prefers taking his time with you. He gets off on seeing how needy you get, how much he can make you want him. You never beg for anything, never want for anything from anyone else until youâre here, desperate and panting beneath him.
He likes seeing you that way. He likes being the one you seek out to give it to you even more.
Tonight, though, itâs different. Heâs not sure what triggered it, but suddenly he canât stop touching you, canât stop thinking about you and how much he wants you. Heâs always attentive, but right now he feels greedy, impatient. Wild in a way he isnât used to. He kisses you, and itâs hungry, deliberate, like he has something to prove.
He helps you to your knees and fucks you with his hands at your hips and his chest at your back, hard and deep the way he knows you like. He makes you cum with your cheek pressed into the mattress and your hands digging into the sheets, and then he flips you over and pushes your knees to your chest, sliding back into you.
He makes you cum like that, too, with his name on your lips and your hands laced with his own, pinned above your headâ once, twice more until heâs had his fill and begins chasing his own release, his face pressed against your neck as he finally lets go and falls apart inside of you.
You shower together afterwards, all slow kisses and languid touches as you stand beneath the warmth of his stupidly expensive shower head. Itâs softer than it should be, too soft to be considered casual.
Sae knows it, too, just like he knows he should quit while heâs ahead and pull away from you before itâs too late, but he canât, not when the scrape of your nails against his scalp as you lave shampoo through his hair feels as good as it does.
You exit the shower looking clean and refreshed, hair damp and skin glowing as you towel yourself off. You smell just like him, the scent of his body wash clinging to your skin.
It does something stupid to his brain, knowing that. Makes his ears red and his heart race in a way he immediately tries to bury. For some reason, this time itâs harder to do.
You get dressed in his bedroom and pack your bag. You tell him you have a big meeting at work tomorrow, so you canât spend the night. You stay for dinner anyway, letting him treat you to takeout from your favorite restaurant.
The two of you sit on his couch and enjoy your meal together. As usual, youâre the one who provides most of the conversation, Sae preferring to nod along and listen, interjecting every now and then with a surprisingly thoughtful question or a sly comment that has you elbowing him in the side.
With takeout boxes littering his coffee table and a movie youâve both already seen playing idly in the background, his apartment feels more lived in now than it ever has before, the way it always does whenever you come over. Sae does his very best to ignore how normal it all seems, how easily your knee presses against his as you sit beside him on the couch.
When itâs time for you to leave, he walks you to the door. You thank him again for dinner and smile when he brushes you off, reminding you to text him when you get home.
Then you kiss him goodbye and he lets you, like itâs the most natural thing in the world. Like it isnât a big deal, even though you both know it is.
And though he knows he shouldnât, though he knows heâs better off pushing it down and ignoring it, the way heâs gotten so good at latelyâ he thinks about it for the rest of the night.
Things get a little blurrier after that.
It starts slowly, at first. An extra toothbrush by his sink, your hair ties on his nightstand. Little pieces of you scattered across his apartment that reveal just how intertwined your lives have become, even if neither of you wants to admit it.
He gets into the habit of picking you up from work. Starts showing up at your door with a bottle of wine and your favorite comfort snacks whenever he knows youâve had a shitty week. Thereâs a shelf in his bathroom set aside just for you, stocked with moisturizer, cleanser, and face masks he lets you slather on his skin every now and then, on nights when heâs feeling particularly indulgent.
Your place is just as bad, if not worse. Thereâs protein powder in your pantry now, his hoodies hung up comfortably in your closet.
You drive him to practice when you have some free time and send him voice notes when you donât, ones he makes a fuss about but always listens to. And whenever he has a game, youâre the first person who Facetimes him in the morning, wishing him luck and letting him know how excited you are to watch him win.
These days, youâre together more often than youâre apart. Sometimes he invites you over, and you donât even have sex at allâ you just hang out in his apartment and tell him about your day, resting your feet in his lap while his hands roam up and down your calves, and it feels like enough. Having you there feels like enough.
It gets to the point that whenever Shidou or Oliver want to reach him, they call you instead, knowing that Sae will be with you, the way he always seems to be now. Itâs so humbling that for a single, horrifying moment, he considers cutting you off completely.
But Sae knows, even before the thought forms in his mind, that he wonât be able to go through with it. Youâre too important to him now, too familiar. Youâre his best friend, and as confusing and annoying as his thoughts about you have become, he canât stay away from you.
He doesnât even realize how bad heâs got it until another two months later, on the night of your birthday, when a conversation with Oliver forces him to confront the feelings heâs usually a lot better at ignoring.
The evening itself starts off normally enough. Sae spends most of it on the field with his team, in preparation for a rivalry game thatâs less than a week away. The other players leave as soon as their coach dismisses them, eager to hit the showers and get some rest, but Sae stays behind for some extra practice.
Heâs still at it by the time Oliver returns from the locker room. The centerback looks surprised to see that Saeâs still there, but he doesnât hesitate to approach, joining his teammate out on the pitch.
âFigures youâd be the last one on the field,â Oliver says, greeting him with his signature sleazy smile. âYou trying to make the rest of us look bad, Itoshi?â
Sae barely spares him a glance, choosing instead to focus on the row of soccer balls lined up at his feet. âIâve never had to try to do that.â
Anyone else would be insulted, but Oliver just laughs, too used to Saeâs attitude to take it personally. âWhyâre you still out here, anyway? Itâs your girlâs birthday tonight. Shouldnât you be back at your place getting ready?â
Youâre not his girl, obviously, but correcting Oliver would be more trouble than itâs worth, so Sae doesnât bother. âWhy would I do that?â
âOh, come on, man. No oneâs that much of an asshole, not even you. Arenât you coming to her party?â
Sae knows all about your party, of course. You invited him a while ago, though you made it clear it was a no pressure invitation. You knew he had that game coming up and that parties âespecially the over the top and extravagant kind planned by Ainaâ arenât really his thing, so youâd understand if he didnât attend.
Youâve always been like that. Always more considerate than he or anyone else deserves. He picked up a present for you anyway, a simple necklace with a diamond sun pendant that made him think of you.
He planned to give it to you next week. Figured it would more than make up for his absence tonight, especially when he knows youâll be busy with your friends. Heâll be shocked if you even notice he isnât there, which is why he doesnât feel the least bit guilty about sitting this one out.
âIâm not going,â Sae states plainly, kicking the ball at his feet and watching it land in the goal. âShe said I didnât have to.â
âWell yeah, that sounds like her, but donât you want to? Itâd be a fun way to surprise her,â Oliver points out, as if Sae really needs the reminder. âHell, even Iâm going, and she only tolerates me.â
âShe knows Iâm busy.â Another kick, another goal. Sae lifts the bottom of his shirt and wipes at the sweat on his face, unmoved. âSheâll be fine.â
âDamn.â Oliver whistles and crosses his arms over his chest, somewhere between incredulous and impressed. âAnd here I thought the two of you were finally getting serious. Shidouâll be thrilled youâre back on the market. Adrian, tooâ though for different reasons.â
That catches Saeâs attention. He pauses before his next kick and shifts his gaze to where Oliver stands, narrowing his eyes.
He isnât sure what his teammate is suggesting here, but he already doesnât like it.
âAm I supposed to care about who that is?â
âYou tell me. See, from what I hear, heâs your girlâsâ my bad, I mean your not-girlâs ex. Apparently they ended on pretty good terms. Aina told me heâll be there tonight, along with the rest of their friends.â
Oliver waits for a moment, letting his words sink in, before he grins knowingly, mismatched eyes smug and goading.
âGuess itâs a good thing you donât care, huh?â
Sae feels himself frown, eyes narrowing into a glare as something heavy and bitter settles over his chest. Thereâs a sinking feeling in his gut, too, one that makes his stomach twist with discomfort.
Youâve never mentioned Adrian before. Youâve never mentioned any of your exes before, at least not to Sae, and why would you?
Contrary to popular belief, Saeâs not your boyfriend. Heâs not even someone youâre officially dating. Heâs just a friend you fuck regularly and hang out with after, even if it has been going on for way too long to be considered casual.
The point is, who you choose to spend your time with, romantically or otherwise, is none of his business, because you never agreed to be exclusive. And itâs not like he cares if youâre seeing other people, anyway, because he doesnât. He doesnât care.
Heâs just a little annoyed by it, is all. Just a little irritated by the fact that Oliver would waste his time by bringing it up now, even though he knows Sae has more important things on his mind, like the upcoming game everyone else seems to be forgetting about.
Thatâs what Sae tells himself, anyway. What he reminds himself of even after Oliver says goodbye and heads off to get ready, leaving him alone on the pitch with nothing but his thoughts.
He repeats it inside of his head, over and over again, telling himself that it doesnât matter, that he doesnât careâ even as the next ball he kicks misses, ricocheting off the goalpost.
So what if youâre seeing the ex you never mentioned tonight? And so what if the two of you ended on good enough terms for you to feel comfortable inviting him to your party? Itâs your birthday, and youâre allowed to spend it with whoever you want.
Sae knows that, just like he knows you donât owe him anything, least of all an explanation. And he doesnât careâ he doesnât. He shouldnât, because if he did, wellâ then that would mean he cares about you, maybe even has actual feelings for you, and that just wouldnât make any sense, would it?
Because Sae doesnât do this kind of thing. He doesnât do feelings, or relationships, or anything else that puts him at risk of being vulnerable. He isnât made for it. He never has been.
But then he thinks of you. Of your smile and your enthusiasm, of your quick comebacks and your laugh that turns into a snort whenever you think something is especially funny.
He thinks about the first time you spent the night at his place. He remembers waking up with you after and how easy it felt to hold you, how right.
You are thoughtful in a way that Sae is not, light-hearted and optimistic in a way he knows heâll never be. Youâre smart, too, smarter than anyone else he knows and more sensitive than you like to admit.
Youâre stubborn to a fault, you hate admitting when youâre wrong, and you wouldnât know how to relax even if someone paid youâ but Sae canât think of anything heâd like to do more than spend his time trying to keep up with you.
It hits him, then. The truth heâs spent the past few months trying to deny. All those sappy thoughts heâs had about you, the comfort and ease that settle over him whenever heâs around youâ itâs not just because he likes spending time with you, or because he considers you a close friend.
Itâs because he has feelings for you. Real, genuine feelings that he canât ignore, at least not anymore.
Itâs why hearing about your ex distracts him enough to make him miss the goal. Why the thought of you with someone else makes him feel sick to his stomach. And as much as Sae hates being vulnerable and honest about his feelings, he thinks he hates the idea of you cozying up to your ex even more.
He doesnât know what heâs going to do about it yet, or what heâs going to say to youâ but what he does know is that he canât do it here, so he picks up his bag and leaves the field.
An hour later, heâs in his car and driving up to the lounge where Ainaâs hosting your party, freshly showered and handing his keys over to the valet. The necklace he picked out for you rests inside the pocket of his jacket, tucked securely against his side.
Itâll pair nicely with his confession, he thinks, if he can find the words. If his logic will allow it.
Inside the lounge, it doesnât take him long to find you. Youâre exactly where he thought youâd be, smack dab in the middle of the dance floor, swaying your hips and singing your heart out with Aina and the rest of your friends at your side.
You look incredible, all smooth skin and glittery eyes, dressed in something soft and lacey he canât wait to help you out of. Youâve always been beautiful, but here beneath the warm lights with your hair framing your face and your lips curled into that alluring smile, youâre easily the most stunning thing heâs ever seen.
Sae spends longer than he probably should just looking at you, watching you laugh and dance out on the floor, spurred on by the music and the enthusiastic cheers of your friends. He finds himself smiling before he can really help it, tender and fond in the way only you ever seem to make him.
You do a bit of a double take when you spot him, craning your neck past Ainaâs head to get a better view. He sends you a short nod as a form of greeting, and you return it with an excited wave of your own, excusing yourself from your friends to join him where he stands at the edge of the crowd.
You smile as you approach, a little breathless from all the dancing, but still so beautiful. You look happy that heâs here, but youâre surprised, too, eyes wide, like heâs the last person you expected to see.
âSae? What are you doing here?â
Itâs a fair question, considering the fact that the last time you spoke, he told you he couldnât make it, but he raises an eyebrow anyway, like he canât believe youâd ask. âYou invited me, remember?â
âWell, yeah, I did, but I didnât think youâd actually show up,â you say honestly, laughing a little. âI thought you were busy.â
âI was. Now Iâm not.â When your eyes widen even more, your surprise giving way to disbelief, Saeâs eyebrows furrow. âIs it really that big of a deal?â
âThat youâre choosing to spend your free time surrounded by everyone I know getting drunk off their asses? Kind of, yeah.â You reach out and smooth your hands over his chest, tugging at the lapels of his jacket to tease him. âI didnât realize you cared so much.â
And Sae, too sure of his feelings to deny it, but too stubborn to agree, merely sighs, though he does nothing to move your hands away. âLook, if you want me to leaveââ
âAnd rob me and the rest of my friends of the opportunity to ogle you in a button-down? On my birthday?â You put a hand over your heart and shake your head, looking scandalized. âThatâs so disrespectful, not to mention selfish. Iâm honestly offended that you even suggested it.â
He rolls his eyes, muttering something about you being the most dramatic person in the world, and you start to laugh, lips curling into that lovely little smile that lately he canât stop thinking about.
Then you take his hand, sliding your fingers through his in a way that feels a lot more significant now that he knows he has feelings for you, and Sae feels something in his chest shift all over again, his pulse quickening beneath his skin.
âCome on,â you tell him, tugging on his hand to guide him forward, completely unaware of the effect you have on him. âIâll get you a drink.â
You lead him to the bar and prop yourself up on one of the stools. Sae takes a seat beside you and watches as you order two cocktailsâ something simple for him and something sweet for yourself. The bartender makes quick work of your drinks, setting them down in front of you in record time and leaving you and Sae to chat.
âHow was practice?â
âSame as always. Howâs your party?â
âItâs been a lot of fun, actually. Aina really outdid herself. Iâm thankful, even if it is forcing me to accept the sad reality that Iâm basically a grandma now.â You let out a wistful sigh, stirring your drink with your straw. âWhen I was in college, I used to knock back tequila like it was water. Now it just kind of burns.â
That has him letting out an actual laugh, quiet but genuine, though he attempts to cover it up by reaching for his drink. You notice anyway and beam at the sound, unreasonably pleased with yourself, the way you always are whenever you manage to make him laugh.
He thinks of telling you that youâre the only one who can, the only person heâs ever felt comfortable enough around to do so. But the bar is rowdy and the musicâs too loud, so he keeps it to himself, taking a sip of his drink and watching you do the same.
You chat for a while longer, catching each other up on all that youâve missed in the week since you last saw one another. He tells you about the trip he took to the beach and the clothing sponsorship his manager wonât shut up about, and you tell him about the new pastry shop you tried and the comically large fruit bouquet your parents had delivered to your doorstep this morning.
And itâs easy, Sae thinks, talking to you like this. Heâs never been a fan of parties, but sitting here with you, listening to your voice and hearing you laugh, it isnât so bad.
He spent most of the drive here thinking of you and coming to terms with his feelings for you. These past few months have been filled with nothing but denial on his part, with Sae doing everything in his power to convince himself that he only saw you as the friend he was casually hooking up with, despite every one of his thoughts and actions proving otherwise.
But on the drive here, when he finally sat down to think about it, he found that what he feels for you was strangely easy for him to accept, despite the initial shock of it all.
Saeâs never been one for romance or relationships. Heâs never imagined thatâd be something heâd want, but looking at you now and wanting you the way he does, he knows itâs true. If he has to have feelings for anyone, he figures it might as well be you.
You, with all your sarcasm and your compassion and that soft little smile he doesnât think heâll ever get tired of.
Heâs glad that itâs you.
If Sae were softer, more sensitive like Rin, heâd tell you. If he were better with words, if he knew what to say or where to start, heâd grab your hand and take you somewhere quiet and romantic, and then heâd tell you the truth. Heâd tell you everything, all about the way you make him feel and all the parts of himself you make him want to give you.
But Sae isnât like that. And while normally he wouldnât hesitate to go after what he wants, heâs not going to risk ruining your birthday or the friendship youâve built by telling you about the feelings heâs only now realizing he has, especially when he has no idea how to put them into words.
So he doesnât.
He just listens to the sound of your voice and keeps his feelings to himself, pretending that absolutely nothing has changed even when itâs obvious that everything has.
Eventually, Aina and the rest of your girlfriends show up at the bar to steal you away. Theyâre shouting something about birthday pictures and ass-shaking that Sae only half-understands, but he doesnât fight them on it. He knows how excited you are to spend tonight celebrating and letting loose with your friends, so he lets them whisk you away, nodding when you promise to catch up with him later.
Shidou and Oliver show up to harass him the second you and your friends are gone. They try to bully him into taking shots with them, but when that doesnât work, they settle for setting him up with another drink instead. Then they each sling an arm around his shoulders and herd him over to the couches, where a handful of their other teammates are waiting.
The next time Sae sees you, you're back on the dance floor with your friends. He recognizes most of them, like Aina and Eri, Kenta and Misaki. The only stranger is the man standing behind you, the one Sae immediately decides he doesnât like.
Thatâs when Sae notices how close this guy is to you and how low his hands are on your waist. All of a sudden, ignoring his feelings for you becomes a lot harder to do, especially now, when heâs almost positive that youâre dancing with your ex.
Sae doesnât actually know that the man youâre dancing with is Adrian, of course. Heâs too far away to hear whatâs being said or to catch any names, but with how comfortable this guy seems to be with touching you, it isnât hard to guess. Heâs lean and broad-shouldered, too, with bright green eyes and silky dark hair, and wellâ you did say you have a type.
And when you glance over your shoulder to look at him, instead of being disgusted and telling him to get the fuck away from you, the way Sae is hoping you will, you smile. You actually fucking smile, accepting the bastardâs outstretched hand and letting him spin you around, like itâs normal, like youâre used to it. Like itâs something the two of you have done a million times before.
Quite frankly, it makes Sae want to fucking vomit.
It bothers him more than he cares to admit, watching you dance with Adrian and seeing how happy you look, how easily you welcome your ex-boyfriendâs touch. You arenât even doing anything particularly scandalous, just laughing and letting him twirl you around, but seeing it happen still makes Saeâs stomach churn and his chest ache in a way he knows canât be normal.
When the song changes, Aina ushers you and the rest of your group back towards the bar, ending your little stint on the dance floor. Sae finds himself grateful for the interruption, until he realizes that all itâs done is provide Adrian with the opportunity to get even closer to you, nestling himself between you and Eri.
Aina stands on your other side and waves down the bartender, but all Sae can focus on is the arm Adrian has wrapped around your shoulders, the way he leans in close and whispers in your ear.
Immediately, Sae decides he canât watch anymore, not unless he actually wants to throw up. So instead of sticking around to see what happens next, he stands up and walks away, before the tension in his chest makes him do something stupid.
Shidou and Oliver call after him in confusion, but Sae ignores them, disappearing into the crowd without looking back.
Thereâs an outdoor section attached to the lounge, guarded by a set of clunky metal doors he didnât notice until now. He pushes past them and is pleased to find the space almost entirely empty, save for the trio of smokers who are already on their way back inside, their cigarettes quickly blackening in the ashtray left on one of the tables outside.
Sae walks past them as they exit, ignoring the open chairs and couches in favor of standing closer to the balcony. He braces himself against the railing, nursing a drink he doesnât even really want in his hand and a heaviness he isnât used to in his heart.
Itâs colder out here than it is inside. Quieter, too, though Sae hardly minds it. He welcomes the chill and the silence it brings, even if it does little to sort out his thoughts. All he knows for sure is that right now, he wants to be alone, and being out here can give him that, so he stays.
He enjoys about ten minutes of blissful silence before he hears the doors push open again. He braces himself with a deep sigh and looks over his shoulder, ready to tell Oliver to go back inside and leave him alone, but he stops himself when he sees that itâs you.
And itâs awful, Sae thinks, how easily the sight of you softens him, how happy he is to see you, even now. A few seconds ago, he was convinced he didnât want to see anyone at all, but looking at you now, he canât imagine ever asking you to leave.
The thoughtâs a little easier for him to stomach now that heâs accepted his feelings for you, but that doesnât make it any less disorienting.
âThere you are,â you say, greeting him with a warm smile and looking just as happy to see him now as you were when he first arrived. âI was wondering where youâd gone off to. I tried asking Oliver, but he wasnât sure, either.â
Saeâs eyebrows raise at your words, his previous agitation forgotten. âYou went looking for me?â
âOf course.â You join him at the railing, heels clacking against the pavement as you walk. Youâre standing close enough now that your arm touches his, but he doesnât pull away, and neither do you. âI canât exactly fulfill my promise of ogling you if youâre all the way out here, now, can I?â
âIâm sure you wouldâve figured something out,â he says, bumping his shoulder with yours, even as the corners of his lips twitch in amusement. âYouâre persistent that way.â
âCan you blame me? You know what the sight of you with your shirt buttons undone does to the general public, myself included.â
âWeirdly enough, youâre not the first person to tell me that tonight.â
âLet me guessâ Shidou?â
âHeâs the only other person as dedicated to flirting with me as you are.â
You laugh, flipping your hair over your shoulder with a shrug. âWhat can I say? We have excellent taste.â
âIs that what youâre calling it?â He raises an eyebrow at you and hums, amused. âAnd here I thought it was just the two of you being shameless as always.â
âOnly for you,â you say, voice low and playful, punctuating your words with a ridiculous wink that he shouldnât find nearly half as endearing as he does. âWell, you and Pedro Pascal, but he didnât show up for my birthday the way you did, soâ mostly you.â
âIâm flattered,â he drawls sarcastically, making you laugh.
A brief silence follows, though itâs far from uncomfortable. It never is, not when itâs just you and Sae. You know he isnât exactly the most talkative person, but youâve never seemed to have a problem with that, never tried to make him into something heâs not. Itâs one of the many things he likes about you.
You blink when you catch him staring at you, but you donât hesitate to smile at him anyway. âWhat?â
âNothing.â Heâs quick to change the subject, clearing his throat and tearing his gaze away from your own. Thatâs when he notices the way youâre shivering, your arms going up to wrap around yourself as a breeze passes and goosebumps rise on your skin. âYouâre cold.â
âOnly a little,â you admit, expression bashful as you rub your arm, âbut itâs fine. Iâll adjust. Honestly, with how hot it was inside, I probably need theââ
He doesnât wait for you to finish your sentence, shrugging his jacket off his shoulders and offering it for you to take. âHere.â
âOh, no, thatâs okay. Really, you donât have toââ
Your protests quickly go nowhere, Sae choosing to ignore you and all but shoving his jacket into your hands. You accept it from him somewhat unsurely, though that hesitance quickly disappears the moment you feel how warm his jacket feels around you.
You slide your arms through the sleeves and let the jacket rest comfortably around your shoulders, looking up to face him with a grateful smile. âThanks.â
He nods in acknowledgement of your gratitude but says nothing else, too busy taking in the sight of you in his jacket and thinking about how much better itâd be if you were actually his.
Not for the first time, he thinks of confessing his feelings. He settles for bringing up the gift he got you instead, hoping itâll be enough to make you understand.
âThereâs something in it for you,â he says quickly, before he can talk himself out of it. âInside the pocket.â
You blink, taken aback. âReally?â
When he nods, you reach inside his jacket. It takes you a moment or two of rummaging around, but eventually you find what youâre looking for, pulling out the dark velvet box that holds the necklace he got you for your birthday and cradling it gently inside your palm.
You meet his gaze briefly, eyes soft and searching, before opening the box with your other hand. You let out a tiny gasp when you see whatâs inside, your eyes widening at the sun pendant that rests before you. It quite literally takes your breath away, and Sae knows, even before you meet his eyes again, that heâs done something right.
âOh, my god. Sae, this is soâ I mean, I donât even know what toââ He doesnât think heâs ever seen you this way before, so at a loss for words. Usually you always have something to say, but right now you can hardly form a sentence, eyes wide as you all but gape at him. âAre you sure?â
âHappy birthday,â Sae says, as softly and sincerely as he can manage. âI hope you like it.â
âAre you kidding? How could I not?â
You laugh a little, voice disbelieving as you trace your fingertips over the necklace, gentle and admiring. Sae canât help but smile to himself as he watches you, pleased by how touched you seem to be by the gift.
âItâs beautiful. Seriously, Sae, itâs gorgeous and wonderfulâ and way too fucking expensive.â You snap the box closed, shaking your head firmly. âI canât accept this.â
Your words make him frown, brows furrowing slightly as you hold the box out to him. He had a feeling youâd be difficult about this, knowing how notoriously stubborn you are, but he thought youâd at least put the necklace on before trying to give it back to him.
âWhy not?â
âWhat do you mean, why not?â You stare at him, bewildered, an almost comically serious look on your face as you lift the box in your hands and shake it around. âSae, there are actual diamonds on this necklace.â
He resists the urge to laugh at your expression, shrugging his shoulders and raising an eyebrow. âSo?â
âSo?â you repeat, giving him an incredulous look. âThat means itâs probably worth more than my freakinâ apartment! I canât take this from you.â
âYouâre not taking anything. Iâm giving it to you,â Sae corrects, completely unbothered, even as your eye starts to twitch in a way that makes it clear you think heâs lost his mind. âYou know, like that gift thing people do on birthdays?â
He tries to make a joke, but you hardly acknowledge it, evidently too occupied with having an internal crisis about the amount of money he spent to appreciate his rare attempt at humor. Thereâs a frown on your lips and a crease in your brow that reassure him itâs going to take a lot more than that to convince you to accept the gift, but thankfully, Sae has already prepared for that.
âIâm not bringing it back to the store,â he says, meeting your eyes so you can see exactly how serious he is. âI already got rid of the receipt, and Iâm not giving it to anyone else, so either you take it, or it goes in the trash.â
You open your mouth to argue, but the look on his face must make you reconsider, because youâre closing it before you can say anything else. Realizing that regardless of your protests, he wonât be changing his mind, you sigh, relenting.
âFine. Iâll take it.â Youâre trying your best to pout, making a show of your begrudging acceptance, but the sparkle in your eye as you gaze down at the box in your hand betrays just how thrilled you really are to be keeping the gift. âBut I would like the record to show that I think youâre a psychopath. A filthy rich, full-blown psychopath.â
âYou know, most people would just say thank you.â
Sae expects you to make a quip back, maybe even return his snark with an eye roll of your own, but you surprise him by taking his hand in yours, using the other to cradle the box to your chest.
âThank you, Sae.â You squeeze his hand and smile, gratitude and sincerity hanging off every word. âI love it.â
You give his hand another gentle squeeze before releasing it and turning your attention back to the box youâre holding, a distraction Sae finds himself grateful for. Heâs not sure what kind of expression heâs making right now, but if the way his pulse is racing is any indication, he doubts itâs anything normal.
He watches as you open the box and remove the necklace from inside. Once itâs been freed, you put the empty box back in his pocket and let the necklace dangle from your fingertips, turning to offer it to him again.
âWill you help me put it on?â
For a moment, all Sae can do is nod. His pulse is still racing, drumming beneath his skin with the kind of adrenaline he thought heâd only ever get while playing soccer. He ignores it as best as he can, clearing his throat and taking the necklace from you.
âTurn around.â
You do as he asks, turning so your back is facing him and holding up your hair so itâs out of the way. He brings the necklace to your throat, fingers brushing against your neck in a way that makes you shudder slightly, goosebumps rising on your skin as you lean instinctively into his touch.
The sight is tempting enough to make him want to forget the necklace entirely and bring his lips to your throat, grazing the spot below your ear he knows drives you crazy, but somehow he resists the urge, clasping the necklace shut without any further incident.
âWell?â You let go of your hair and turn back around to face him, a smile on your face as you put your hands on your hips and strike a pose. âHowâs it look?â
What Sae wants to say is that you look stunning. That you always do, and that it has nothing to do with the necklace at your throat or the clothes you wear and everything to do with the way you carry yourself, dramatic nonsense and all.
What comes out of his mouth instead isnât nearly as poetic. âIt looks better on you than it would have in the garbage can.â
Itâs probably one of the least romantic things youâve ever heard, but luckily for him, youâre too used to his personality to be offended by it. All you do is laugh, brushing it off without a second thought.
âYou know,â you say, in the shittiest imitation of his voice you can manage, throwing his words back at him the way heâs sure you planned to from the beginning, âmost people would just say it looks good on me.â
Sae huffs out a laugh, though he still makes a point to roll his eyes at your words. He watches you grin and laugh along with him, taking in the curve of your lips and the flutter of your lashes, and finds himself speaking again, before he can change his mind.
âIt does.â Itâs hard to say who the confession surprises moreâ you or himself. He keeps going anyway, even as your laughter fades and your eyes widen. âYou lookââ It takes him a second to gather himself, the words awkward and stiff coming from his mouth, but just as sincere. ââbeautiful. You are beautiful.â
Understandably, the compliment catches you off guard. Saeâs called you many things before âstubborn, ridiculous, dramatic, even shamelessâ but heâs never called you beautiful. Heâs never called anything beautiful, at least not on purpose. You probably didnât even think it was something he could do.
Maybe thatâs why youâre looking at him so strangely now, his words stunning you into silence. He can only hope you know he meant them. Then he notices the shy little smile on your face and the way you wrap his jacket a little tighter around yourself and realizes you already do.
âThank you.â
Another silence falls between you, different from before. This one is a little more intense, the air between you thick with words left unsaid, but itâs still not uncomfortable, at least not yet. Sae knows itâs true, because when he leans back against the railing, you follow, settling into the space beside him and letting your arm press against his without a hint of regret or awkwardness.
âIâm glad youâre here, Sae.â You donât look at him when you say it, eyes on the city skyline below you, all the twinkling, faraway lights blanketed by the cover of darkness. Your voice is quieter than heâs used to, but still undoubtedly sincere. âAnd not because of the gift, or because of the compliment, even though those were nice, tooâ but because of you.â
That catches him off guard. âBecause of me?â
âYeah, because of you.â You turn to look at him then, all easy smiles and undeniable fondness. âJust you. I mean, obviously you didnât have to be here, and I know you probably havenât been enjoying yourself too much, but still, itâs nice.â
âWhat makes you think Iâm not enjoying myself?â
âYouâre kidding, right? This whole thing is loud music and a big crowd, neither of which youâre fond of. Besides, you told me you hated parties.â
âI donât hate you.â The words fall from his lips before he can stop them, soft and tender and way too fucking honest. Your eyes widen, even more now than they did when he called you beautiful, and immediately he clears his throat, backtracking. â...I didnât mean it like that.â
âOh, so you do hate me, then?â
âWhat? No, thatâs not what Iââ He cuts himself off when he catches the smile you try and fail to hide behind your hand, any concern he had about hurting your feelings vanishing as he shoots you a scowl. âOh, shut up.â
You give up on masking your amusement and begin laughing outright. Normally, the sound would annoy him, especially when done at his expense, but because itâs you, all it does is make him grow more fond, the corners of his lips curling into a smile of his own before he can stop them.
âIf it makes you feel any better,â you say, your side pressing against his as you lean in close, whispering like youâre sharing a secret, âI donât hate you, too.â
Itâs nothing like an actual confession, nor can it be considered a real sign that youâll return his feelings, but Sae hears you say it, watches the way you watch him, and suddenly he knows that if there were ever a time for him to tell you the truth, then this would be it.
But words have never come easily to Sae, so instead of saying it, instead of telling you, he decides to show you.
He brings his hand to your face, cupping your cheek in his palm with a kind of gentleness he didnât even think himself capable of until now. He swipes his thumb along your bottom lip, his gaze never leaving yours, while you look on, startled by his sudden softness.
He knows as soon as he does it that the way heâs holding you now is something different, something real. He knows youâll feel it, too, knows itâll catch you off guard, even if itâs far from the first time heâs touched you. Itâs why he isnât the least bit surprised when your eyes widen, your voice a quiet, stunned murmur as you open your mouth to speak.
âSae, what are youâŠâ
He doesnât let you finish that thought, closing what little distance is left between you to press his lips against yours. Itâs a softer kiss than he usually goes for, every bit as tender and delicate as the way his hand cradles your cheek and filled with all the sincerity he can manage, all the longing he didnât even realize heâd been feeling until now.
Youâre breathless when he pulls away, lips parted and eyes fluttering back open to meet his, dazed, like youâre seeing him for the first time.
âWhat was that for?â
For a moment, Sae has no idea how to respond. Youâve always been the most observant person in the room âitâs how you found out about the ankle he sprained last month, having picked up on the strain in his voice the moment he answered your callâ so the fact that you still havenât realized heâs trying to confess his feelings for you is unexpected, to say the least.
Still, he doesnât let it deter him, letting the hand he uses to cradle your face speak for him, thumb brushing across your cheek in a way he hopes makes things a little clearer.
âWhat do you think?â
You donât answer right away, your eyes locked with his own, stunned and searching. You reach up a hand and place it over the one he has on your face, but your touch is hesitant, unsureâ much like your voice is when you speak again.
âHonestly, Iâm not really sure what Iâm supposed to be thinking right now.â
Sae is trying very hard to be sensitive for you, but he canât stop himself from frowning at your words. He knew telling you about his feelings âor, in this case, showing youâ wasnât going to be easy, but he didnât think itâd be this hard, either. And though he knows itâs probably unfair of him to think kissing you like this will be enough, your reaction isnât exactly making him feel any better about it.
âItâs not like itâs the first time Iâve kissed you.â
âWell, yeah, I know that, but youâve neverââ You cut yourself off, brows furrowing as you fix him with a serious look. âYouâve never kissed me like that.â
âMaybe I just didnât think you could handle it.â
Itâs the wrong thing to say, Sae knows, not to mention completely at odds with what heâs actually feeling, but itâs what comes out of his mouth, anyway. You frown as soon as he says it, eyes narrowing as you shake your head.
âYouâre such a dick, Sae.â
âI know.â He moves his hand and brushes a piece of hair away from your face. You let him, your gaze flickering down to his lips then back up again to meet his eyes. âDo you want me to stop?â
And though he knows as well as you do that you should say yes, though you have every right to push him away and demand he explain himself properly, all you do is lean in closer, your lips hovering against his as you answer, voice low and deliberate and just a little breathless, â...No.â
He closes the distance at the same time you do, your lips meeting in another kiss thatâs as longing and passionate as the first. Itâs just as soft, too, soft in the way you still canât quite make sense of, but that hardly seems to matter to you now as you tilt your head and let yourself become lost in it, one of your hands going up to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck.
Then youâre pressing your body against his, your lips moving to nip at his jaw, and itâs all Sae can do to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer, his mouth finding yours once more.
Thereâs so much more the two of you need to talk about, so much he still has tell you so that you can finally understand the extent of his feelings, but right now, all he can focus on is the feel of your lips against his own and the weight of you in his arms, steady and solid, like itâs where you were meant to be all along.
He lifts a hand to cradle your jaw, and your lips part, tongue sliding against his as he walks the two of you backwards. Your back hits the railing, and you make a needy little sound in the back of your throat that just makes him kiss you harder, one of your legs going up to wrap around his waist.
His lips are halfway down your neck when your phone starts to ring. The two of you ignore it at first, too lost in each other to pay it any real mind, and eventually it stops, just in time for Sae to make his way back up to your lips, his free hand shifting lower to grip at your thigh.
Not even a minute later, the ringing starts back up again, a loud, chiming tone thatâs a lot harder to ignore the second time around. Reluctantly, Sae pulls away, though he doesnât go very farâ just enough to meet your eyes, one of his hands still cradling the side of your face.
âYou should probably answer that,â he mutters, even as his other hand smooths over the skin of your thigh, his lips hovering just a breath away from your own.
âWhat?â you ask, dazed and distracted, your eyes still focused on his lips.
âYour phone, dumbass,â he replies, soft and amused, the corners of his mouth curling up at your reaction. âAnswer it before your friends start a tequila-fueled search party.â
âOh, shitâ yeah.â The reality of his words spurs you back into action, your eyes widening a fraction as you snap yourself out of your daze. âGood call.â
You work together to untangle yourselves from each other, unwinding your arms from around his neck while Sae guides your leg back to the ground to help you find your footing. When heâs sure you wonât fall, he lets his hands drop and takes a step back, giving you space to answer the call.
You, however, seem to have other plans, your hand shooting out to grab onto the front of his shirt before he can get too far. Your phone is still ringing, even louder now that youâve pulled it out of your purse, but you donât seem too concerned about it, your attention focused solely on Sae.
âThisâll be quick,â you reassure him. âSo donâtâ donât go anywhere, okay?â
Itâs cute, Sae thinks, how earnest you sound when you say it, how serious you look as you ask him to stay. Heâs never been good at denying you anything, even before he realized he had feelings for you, and now? Now, itâs the last thing on his mind. âOkay.â
Your expression brightens, lips curling up as you smile, pleased by his response. Then you let go of his shirt and swipe at your phone screen, bringing the device up to your ear.
âHello?â
Thereâs a brief pause as you lean against the railing, awaiting a response. Sae doesnât think much of it, until he hears you speak again.
âOh, hey, Adrian.â
Thatâs when the tension in his chest from earlier returns full force, every muscle in Saeâs body locking up the moment your ex-boyfriendâs name leaves your lips. You donât pick up on it, either, too focused on your conversation to notice the frown on his face or the furrow of his brow.
(He canât tell if that makes things better or worse.)
âYeah, Iâm okay. I just stepped out for a minute,â you continue, oblivious to the tension in his frame, the scoff he just barely manages to hide. âNo, Iâm not, I promiseâ Iâm with a friend.â
A friend, you say, as if thatâs all you expect from him, all you want him to be. Just a friend, as if everything thatâs happened between you tonight doesnât matter.
Needless to say, it doesnât sit well with him at all.
Is that why you told him you were okay with him missing your party? Why you looked so surprised when he showed up anyway? Because you wanted to spend the night with your ex-boyfriend instead?
Earlier, Sae thought that the longing and urgency that poured from your lips as you kissed him back meant something, that you could actually want him the way he wants you. Not just as a friend or a hookup or whatever the hell it is youâve been doing this whole time, but as something more, something real.
He understands now that it was all just wishful thinking on his part, a fantasy he shouldâve known better than to indulge. He feels whatever softness you managed to bring out of him fade away, and with it his desire to open his heart and confess his feelings for you.
The logical part of his brain, the part he usually has no trouble listening to, knows heâs overreacting. It isnât fair of him to assume thereâs something going on with you and Adrian just because you answered his phone call, just like it isnât fair of him to assume youâll understand his feelings without him actually talking to you about them.
Still, itâs hard to be logical when all Sae can focus on is the churn of his stomach and the ache in his chest as he watches you chat with your ex. Itâs a little easier than watching you interact with him in person, Sae supposes, but not by much. He still feels ready to throw up by the end of it, frustrated and annoyed for reasons he still isnât sure how to explain to you.
Thankfully, you donât stay on the phone for long. Your conversation with Adrian only lasts a minute or two, and then youâre hanging up the call, tucking your phone back into your purse without any further distractions.
You reach for Sae the moment your hands are free, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing your body against his. Itâs muscle memory for him to open his arms and welcome you, his hands moving to rest at your waist before he can stop himself.
âNow,â you say with a smile, earnest and eager as you lean in close, âwhere were we?â
You kiss him, then, determined to pick up exactly where you left off, your lips warm and soft as they move against his own. And if it were any other day, then Sae would be kissing you back without a second thought, tightening his grip on your waist and pulling you even closer.
But that was before your phone call with Adrian, before you laughed and said Sae was just your friend, right after he kissed you and held you in a way he thought would make it clear that he wanted more than that. Now itâs all he can think about, all that frustration and bitterness he felt earlier âand jealousy, he realizes now, begrudgingly, unfortunatelyâ settling into his chest in the worst way.
It doesnât take you long to notice his hesitance. You feel his lack of response and pull back, a look of concern on your face as you meet his eyes. âWhatâs wrong?â
If Sae were better, more honest, heâd tell you the truth. Heâd tell you how much he hates the idea of you and your ex reconnecting, how he canât stand seeing you with Adrian or anyone else for that matter, not because he actually knows him or because he doesnât trust your judgment, but because he wants you to be with him instead.
But Sae canât do that. In fact, just the mere thought of putting himself out there, of allowing himself to be that vulnerable without knowing exactly whatâs going on inside your head makes him feel like heâs going to be sick, so he doesnât.
He just shuts down entirely, closing himself off the way he always does whenever he starts feeling more than he knows how to handle. Itâs probably the worst thing he can do at this moment, especially when it comes to you, but thatâs of little consequence to him when he feels as raw and hopelessly human as he does right now.
âYou should get back inside,â is what he tells you instead, distancing himself in the only way he knows how, though itâs the exact opposite of what his heart wants. âYour friends are waiting for you.â
At first, the bitterness in his tone is lost on you. Your lips curve into a smirk, your voice playful and coy as you lower your hands to his neck and tug at the collar of his shirt. âThey can wait a little longer.â
You lean in to kiss him again, pulling on his collar so he can meet you halfway, your tongue sliding along his bottom lip. He ends up kissing you back despite himself, parting his lips so your tongue can meet his before he has the chance to think better of it.
It takes him longer than heâd like to admit to remember heâs supposed to be distancing himself from you, too lost in the feeling of your lips moving against his to recall why he was so upset in the first place.
Eventually, though, he finds it in himself to pull away, turning his head before you have the chance to kiss him again. âSomething tells me Adrian wouldnât agree with you.â
This time, you do notice the bitterness in his voice. You loosen your grip on his collar, drawing back to give him a funny look. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âNothing. Just forget it.â Sae lets his hands drop, releasing his hold on your waist. Youâre so caught off guard, you donât even complain, your own hands falling back down to your sides as he takes a step away from you. âYou can leave my jacket with Oliver. Iâll get it from him later.â
âWait, what?â You donât bother to hide your confusion at his sudden shift in mood, eyes wide as you stare at him in disbelief. âYouâre leaving?â
âYou said it yourself.â He shoves his hands into his pockets, the smile he sends you wry and humorless. âParties arenât really my thing.â
âYeah, well, neither is being passive aggressive, but you seem to be doing a great job of that right now.â You cross your arms over your chest and frown, your normally relaxed features twisting into a scowl. Youâre definitely annoyed by his behavior, but he can see in your eyes that youâre hurt by it, too. He thought seeing that would make him feel better, but it doesnât. âWhy are you being like this, Sae? A minute ago, we were totally fine, and now youâre acting like youâre mad at me or something.â
âIâm not acting like anything.â
âYes, you are, and I want to know why. I mean, all I did was answer one phone call, so why are you acting soâ oh. Oh, my god. Is that why youâre mad at me? Because of the phone call?â
Sae turns to scoff at you, acting as if he couldnât care less, even though the problem is that he very much does. âYou really think I give a shit that you spoke to your ex?â
âWhy does it matter that heâs my ex?â You tilt your head, then, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, until slowly âdespite his best effortsâ the realization begins to dawn on you. All at once, your confusion disappears, replaced by a wide-eyed, knowing look that makes whatever hope he had of avoiding this conversation vanish. âItoshi Sae, are you jealous?â
Youâre right, of course âfrustratingly enough, you kind of always areâ but Sae thinks heâd rather chew concrete than admit it, especially when heâs already resigned himself to burying his feelings.
Itâs why he kisses his teeth at your words, his lip curling up in disdain. âTch, you wish.â
âLiar. Youâre jealous as hell. In fact, I bet the whole reason you were even out here in the first place is because you saw me dance with him and got all sulky about it. Thatâs how jealous you are.â Youâre confident enough about it to dare to take a step forward, raising an eyebrow as you meet his eyes with an expectant look. âAm I wrong?â
All Sae can do is scowl at you, irritated by both your smugness and the fact that it does nothing to change the way he feels about you. âYouâre a pain in the ass, is what you are.â
And because youâre you, of course his words donât offend you in the slightest. If anything, your satisfaction only grows, your lips curving into a smirk thatâs as pleased as it is insufferable. âI still havenât heard a âno.ââ
Sae grimaces but remains silent, half because heâs stubborn and half because you arenât wrong. Youâve always been smart, too smart, really âitâs one of the things he likes most about youâ so of course you were able to pick up on his jealousy, despite his attempts at denying it.
He expects you to give him a hard time over it, maybe even chew him out for how immature and ridiculous heâs been acting as a result, but you surprise him by wrapping your arms around his shoulders. When he doesnât push you away, you take that as a sign to continue, tangling your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.
âYou know you donât have to be jealous, right?â Your voice is tender and comforting when you speak. Thereâs a certain seriousness in it, too, a firmness that lets him know how much you mean it. He wishes it didnât affect him as much as it does. âAdrian and I used to be a thing, sure, but itâs not like that between us anymore. He and I are just friends now.â
âYou mean the same way you and I are just friends?â
âOh, wow, you really are jealous. Is that why you showed up tonight? You wanted to make sure there was nothing going on between me and my ex?â
âIt couldnât matter to me even if there was.â He tries not to sound bitter when he says it, but his efforts are hardly effective, the half-smile he forces tight-lipped and strained, even as he moves his hands to settle on your hips. âItâs not like Iâm your boyfriend.â
âI didnât think youâd ever want to be,â you admit, low and honest. And maybe heâs just imagining it, but he swears thereâs a hint of disappointment in your voice, too, a sadness he isnât quite sure how to make sense of. âI mean, back when we started all this, neither of us wanted a relationship. Has that changed?â
It takes all Sae has to keep himself from ripping his own hair out, because havenât you been paying attention at all? Of course itâs changed. Do you really think heâd be here fighting with himself and agonizing over how to confess to you if it hadnât?
He wants to tell you as much, can feel the words right there on the tip of his tongue, but his pride keeps him from saying them out loud, at least not until he knows exactly how you feel, too.
âHas it changed for you?â
âNot so fast, hotshot. I asked you first.â
He sighs. âSeriously?â
âYeah, seriously.â The look you give him is as unapologetic as it is pointed, the sternness in your voice leaving little room for argument. âYou almost walked away from me on my birthday, asshole. The least you can do now is answer my question.â
Itâs a fair point, he knows, especially after everything heâs put you through tonight, but Sae is nothing if not completely awful when it comes to verbalizing his feelings. He knows it most likely wonât be enough to satisfy you, but he gives your hips a gentle squeeze anyway, wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you closer. âIsnât this answer enough?â
âNot even close,â you tell him flatly, every bit as unimpressed as he thought youâd be. âI want you to tell me how you really feel about me. And I want you to say it with your words, not just hold me or kiss me and expect me to read between the lines.â
âWords arenât really my strong suit,â he mutters, more honest now than heâs been all night, averting his gaze to the floor.
âTry anyway.â You lift a hand and run your fingers through his hair the way you know he likes. Itâs disarming enough to have him meeting your gaze once more. Your eyes are soft, searching. Patient, too, despite him, the way you always seem to be. âCome on, Sae. Is it really that hard for you to be honest with me?â
He laughs, though there isnât any humor to it. âYou have no idea.â
âDo you want me to leave?â
âOf course not.â
âAre you okay with me dating other people?â
âDefinitely not.â
âWhy?â
Sae narrows his eyes, shooting you a flat look, because you know. You have to know. After everything heâs said, everything heâs done, thereâs no way you havenât pieced it together by now. âYou already know why.â
âOh, I do,â you confirm, smug and irritating as ever, smile bright and eyes knowing, âbut I want to hear you say it, anyway.â You brush his hair out of his eyes, and he watches as your expression morphs into something softer, something fond and affectionate that makes his heart stutter the way itâs only ever done around you. âFor me?â
And though it isnât easy for him, though it goes against all of his better instincts and is quite possibly the last thing heâs ever wanted to doâ for you, he decides to be sincere. âFine.â
He takes a deep breath and forces himself to find the words, urged on by the weight of you in his arms and the tender, encouraging way youâre looking at him. Itâs daunting for him to be this honest, not to mention completely unnerving, especially when you both know how bad he is with words in generalâ but for you, heâs willing to try.
â...I like you. I really, really like you, as in I have feelings for you, and this thing weâve been doing, this casual, no strings, whatever the hell it isâ itâs not enough for me anymore. And I wantâ I want to be with you. For real, this time, ifâ if youâll have me.â
Sae snaps his mouth closed the moment heâs able to get the words out, bracing himself for your reaction. He isnât sure what heâs expecting from you, exactly ârejection, reciprocation, maybe some backwards, nonsensical combination of them bothâ but heâs determined to be prepared for it regardless, determined to appear unaffected, even if it means he has to grit his teeth to do so.
But then youâre cupping his face in your hands, gaze soft and open and filled with the kind of affection he never once imagined heâd be on the receiving end of, and any notion he had of remaining unaffected is promptly cast aside, replaced by the warmth of your touch and the tender, fond way you look at him.
You lean in, and itâs all Sae can do to close his eyes as you press your lips against his in a slow, gentle kiss. The gesture is soft and surprisingly chaste, soft like the way he kissed you earlier, back when he was trying to communicate the extent of his feelings. It doesnât last very long, but it doesnât need to, not when he can feel it linger even after you pull away, delicate and deliberate, important in all the ways that matter.
When he opens his eyes, he finds that youâre already looking at him, your lips pulled into that soft little smile he doesnât think heâll ever get sick of. Then you wrap your arms around his neck, resting your forehead against his.
âI want to be with you, too,â you say, steady and sure, without a hint of regret or uncertainty, and Sae swears something in his chest cracks wide open, every bit of affection heâs ever felt for you pouring out until itâs all he knows, all he can feel. âAs way more than just casual. I have for a while now.â
âYou have?â The confession catches him off guard, makes his eyes widen a fraction as he pulls back just enough to meet your gaze properly. âSince when?â
âSince your away game in France.â You say it naturally, doubtlessly, without any of the hesitation he wouldâve had to grapple with to do the same thing. Not for the first time, he finds himself envying how easy you make it look, how effortless it is for you to be so honest and upfront about your feelings. âYou were only gone for two weeks, but it felt like ages. Then you showed up to my apartment with pastries from that bakery your manager suggested, and they were amazing, but all I could think about was how happy I was that you were back. Thatâs when I knew I was in trouble.â
For a moment, Sae has no idea what to say. His away game in France was almost two months ago. Youâve had feelings for him since back then? If that was the case, then why didnât you tell him? Had he really made you feel like you couldnât talk to him about it?
âWhy didnât you say anything?â
âI wanted to, but every time I thought about bringing it up, Iâd remember what we said about keeping it casual. I figured if I said something, itâd scare you off. And I didnâtâ I didnât want to lose you. I still donât.â
You look down, then, averting your gaze, uncharacteristically nervous as you fidget with the buttons on his shirt. And as Sae watches you standing there in front of him, quiet and apprehensive in a way heâs never seen you before, he wonders if maybe heâs not the only one whoâs been reluctant to be vulnerable, after all.
Things would be different if either one of you had said something sooner, he knows. If youâd been brave enough to let the other in. He imagines it wouldâve saved you both a lot of time, knowing that it wasnât just one-sided, that your feelings were returned.
But youâre still here. You both are, and thatâs more than enough, he thinks. Itâs everything.
(After all, Saeâs never wanted anything the way he wants you.)
Itâs why he takes your chin in his hand, urging you to look up at him. For once, you donât put up much of a fight, your eyes flickering up to meet his own.
Thatâs when he kisses you, soft and sweet, passionate and patient the way youâve always been with him, the way he knows you deserve to have returned. He kisses you like he means it, like you have all the time in the world, because right now, you do. He kisses you, and he hopes you feel the promise in it, the one that this time, he wonât hesitate to say out loud.
âYou donât have to worry about losing me, dummy,â he tells you as soon as you break apart for air, breathless and sincere as he presses his forehead against yours. âBecause Iâm not going anywhere.â
You smile at him, then, knowing how much he means it, bright and beaming as you take his hand in yours and lace your fingers together.
âIâm not going anywhere, either,â you promise, and the best part is, you donât.
When the two of you go back inside to rejoin the party, you do it together, your hand tucked securely into his, your fingers intertwined. Youâre still wearing his jacket, still smiling at him in that warm, easy way of yours. He knows now for sure itâs something heâll never get tired of, knows heâs going to spend the rest of the foreseeable future making sure he deserves it.
When your friends see you walk in holding hands with Sae, chaos ensues. Thankfully, the two of you are more than prepared for it, braving their onslaught of wolf-whistles and too-personal questions without missing a beat.
Somehow, Oliver and Aina are the loudest of the bunch, hooting and hollering in matching degrees of shock and excitement, despite already knowing what the two of you have been up to these past few months. Shidou isnât far behind them, though he does lament Saeâs new taken status. He wraps an arm around each of your shoulders and very seriously offers himself up to the two of you as a willing volunteer for a threesome, should you ever find yourselves in the market for one.
You and Sae take it all in stride, enduring their teasing and answering their least invasive questions until finally you decide to use your birthday authority to put an end to their pestering, declaring in no uncertain terms that they all go back to celebrating. They complain about it, of course, well-meaning and meddlesome as they are, but still they do as you ask, cooing and waggling their eyebrows at you as they take their leave.
âIâm sorry our friends are all unhinged weirdos,â you apologize as soon as everyone else is gone, blunt and serious enough to make Sae laugh. Youâre sitting in his lap on the couch, the two of you tucked away in a dark corner of the lounge in an attempt at finding some reprieve from all the chatter and excitement of the night. âAnd that they have no concept of what it means to mind their own business.â
He hums in acknowledgement, reassuring you with a kiss to your shoulder that thereâs nothing you need to apologize for. You smile at the gesture and drape your arm around his shoulders in turn, using your other hand to press your palm against his cheek and make him look up at you.
Itâs only then he notices the slight crease in your brow, the worry youâre trying your best to play off with a carefree smile that doesnât quite reach your eyes. âThey didnât scare you away, did they?â
âNot even close.â He shakes his head and squeezes at your hip, taking your hand in his to press a kiss against your palm. âYouâre gonna have to do a lot more than that to get rid of me.â
âGood.â You wind your fingers through his, that smile he likes âmaybe even lovesâ curving its way onto your lips. Happiness has always been a fickle thing for Sae, floating just outside of his reach, but he sees the way you look at him, feels the warmth of your skin against his, and he knowsâ itâs here. Itâs you. Itâs always been you. âIâm glad.â
Yeah, Sae thinks, shifting to meet you halfway as you lean down for his lips, only this time he doesnât have to worry about hiding or burying his feelings. This time, he doesnât have to do anything at all except kiss you, the girl heâs wanted for too long, the one he finally gets to call his. So am I.
Written by: Dawn Taglist link
#sae x reader#itoshi sae x reader#bluelock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#our writing#dawn writes#minors dni
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
đđđđđđđđđđđ | đŠđąđ đźđđ„ đšâđĄđđ«đ đ± đ đ§!đ«đđđđđ«
à©â©â§âËđŹđČđ§đšđ©đŹđąđŹ: miguel tells you how annoying you are
à©â©â§âËđ§đšđđđŹ: last and second part of annoying is here!! thank you so much for the huge support yall broke my app my notifications werenât loading properly lmao THANK YOU! this was supposed to be just a short one but here we are with a part two and a bit bigger word count mâgonna need rest and need more time for the preggo fic
part 1
Wordlessly, you left the team. You returned to your own Earth and did your own thing again. There was a slight tinge of unfamiliarity, knowing that you might never work with other spider people, your friends, again, but you forced the feeling down.
Miguelâs outburst haunted you wherever you went. Even as you fought villains that disturbed the peacefulness of your home, even as you mingled with the other civilians and hung out with your friends, even as you laid down in the comfort of your bed, his words would constantly echo through your head, and they would threaten the fall of your tears every single time.
If Miguel thought you were annoying, what about your other friends? Do they think you were bothersome as well? Maybe, you bitterly thought as you brought your knees to your face. Maybe the civilians donât like you as well. The thought of the people you treasure and care for so dearly, the people whom you devoted most of your life to save, the people whom you risk getting hurt every day for, hating you, left you breathless.
More tears fell, and you gasped. The ache in your heart was too much to bear and seemed to sting your entire being. You clutched your chest as you laid sideways on your bed, pillows and blanket long scattered on the floor. You tried to muffle your cries, but it was useless, as they still vibrated through the room of your apartment.
Oh, god. Please donât hate me. Donât hate me, please. Donâthatemepleasedonâthatemepleaseâ
â[Name]?â the familiar voice momentarily halted you in your weeping. You slowly rose a bit, supporting yourself on your arm and looked towards the source of it. Peterâs worried look greeted you as he crawled himself out of your window.Â
âOh, [Name].â you wavered at his heartbroken voice. He immediately rushed in to hug you. He sat on your bed beside you and embraced you. He rocked you back and forth, one hand on the back of your head that leaned into the crook of his neck, and one hand caressed your back.
âP-Peter, I caâ I canât,â you hiccupped, and with shaking fingers, you gripped his suit tight. You felt your heart would burst with the way it was beating so fast and hard, ringing in your ears. âI canâtâ I canât breathe.â
âItâs okay, [Name]. I got you. Iâm here, okay?â his voice was slightly muffled by the top of your head, but you could still hear him. âI want you to listen to me. Stay with me, yeah?â
You tried your best to respond, but it felt like your body wasnât listening to you. He pulled back a little and held your face in his hands. You look at his eyes full of undisguised concern overflowing, and you desperately hope he doesnât hate you too. You gathered what was left of your little strength and nodded weakly.
âCan you tell me three things around your room?â you try to look around as you cling to his arms. You looked away from his eyes and looked around you. Your old lampshade provided you with dim lighting in your dark, cold room. Your messy books were in disarray on the table. You saw a mirror. You saw yourself and how miserable you looked. Your face was wet with tears, and your eyes were red. You also saw how Peter looked at you with such solicitude, and you want to cry all over again.
âUm, lampshade.â You said and winced at the painful scratch in your throat and your hoarse voice. âBooks. Mirror.â
âGood job. You did well. Can you move three body parts for me?â you unclasped your hands from his arms and tried to clench and unclench them. You wiggled your head out of his hold, embarrassment starting to creep onto you being seen so sticky and so wet and such a mess. It was fortunate that he understood and he chuckled. You were silent for a moment, and you didn't know what else to move so you settled on headbutting Peter.
âOw! Of all things, really? Can't believe this is what I get,â he grumbled as he rubbed his forehead. You giggled at his exaggerated expression and unknowingly to you, your tears had stopped flowing, and only hiccups remained.
âAre you feeling better, [Name]? You can talk to me, my shoulder is vacant for you. Or do you want me to just stay quiet? Because yeah, I can do either. Just tell me what to do,â you chuckled even more at that. âIâll even give you a pass for laughing at me.â
Seeing Peter comfort you like that, there was a sense of relief wash over you. It was obvious he was being genuine with you and if he wasn't, he most likely wouldn't even have the patience to sit with you and let you cry on him.
âIt's nothing, um, it's just that,â you sighed as you weakly played with your fingers. The words are lodged in your throat, and you slowly breathe out. He looked at you with encouragement to take it slow, to breathe and you did. âI found out people at the headquarters think I talk too much and they didnât really like me. Then I made Miguel mad, and I learned how I was annoying him. He probably hates me. And, uh, it got me thinking, what if you and Jess and Hobie think the same way? What if everyone thinks the same way?â
There was an urge to cry again, but it felt like you had cried it all out. There was none left for you to cry anymore.
âWow, I knew Miguel was all bite and no bark, but I didnât expect heâd bite that deep. What the hell is wrong with him?â the genuine disbelief made you sputter and chuckle.Â
âFirst of all, whoever doesnât like you is automatically wrong. I mean, who could not like you? You literally make everyoneâs day. Jess loves gushing with you about her husband, and Hobie loves talking about how his punk stuff and fighting the literal government which I think itâs really pretty cool of him donât tell him that heâs going to tell me I should do it as well and I just canât,â he said. âAnd I love talking to you because youâre funny and so positive you just know how to make me cheer up. Besides, Iâm talking too much now, arenât I? Always have been. But did you think I was annoying?â
âNo! I never once thought you were one.â You replied without a beat.
âExactly. Us either. Look, [Name], everyone loves you. Trust me when I say that.â He said with confidence and finality that you had no choice but to believe him,
âBut, Miguel..â
âHe's stupid. I know. Donât mind what he said because itâs all bullshit anyways.â He grins. âLyla told me what happened. Iâm not taking his side because what he said is just wrong and I get you, you know? Having to hear all of that hurts. But from the bottom of my heart, I think Miguel did not mean what he said. Like, all the pent-up stress got to his head and boom, it suddenly burst out. Iâm not saying that it was a valid reason, no. I just wanted to let you know that he doesnât truly think youâre annoying, you know?â
âBesides, from all the time I knew him, I had never seen him genuinely enjoy his time with someone nor mope so bad when you didnât come to the headquarters anymore.â He said with a deadpan expression at the end.
âPfft, really?â
âYes, really.â
There was a pause, it wasnât awkward but it made you appreciate him more for coming here for you. He smiled at you and you did too, leaning on his shoulder for support. He hugged you sideways, one arm rubbing the side of your arm and you closed your eyes.
âI missed you, [Name]. We all did.â
â...I missed you all too.â
.
.
.
The decision to come back to the headquarters was a bit hard but you took it slow with Peterâs support. He never rushed you nor forced you to come back which you really appreciated and when you did return, you were sure you didnât regret it. Jess and Hobie immediately latched onto you, they hugged you tight and told you how much they missed you so bad. They asked you how had you been, if you were alright, if were you hurt, and all that. Seeing their sincere worry for you, you smiled hard enough to hurt your cheeks and slowly you were going back to the old, happy you.
What changed right now was that you avoided Miguel. When you first returned to the headquarters, Miguel was there a bit far away from you. You could feel his earnest gaze at you and you looked at him briefly. The bags underneath his eyes seemed to be bigger and you wonder if he had gotten a bit bigger too. A reminder of his words rang instantly through your head and you breathed deeply silently. You quickly looked away as soon as you laid your eyes on him and that remained true for a couple of weeks.
During the briefing of your missions, he would look at you expectantly as if you would stand beside him like you always did. But you usually stood nearby Hobie who was at the entrance of his office. Sometimes you stood beside Jess and Peter which was a bit near him but not quite so.
âYouâre not gonna be near him?â Hobie once asked as he lay down on a flat surface. He nudged his head in Miguelâs direction who was looking at you a couple of times as he talked about the mission details. You smiled bitterly.Â
âAight, guess I got more time to catch up with you, huh?â the tip of his lips lifted up, âWanna leg it and come join the protest in my home?â
âOh no.â you silently snorted.
âWhat? Itâs fun and weâre doing the right thing, you know.â
âHobie, are you listening?â Miguelâs voice interrupted you both. You look away, not yet keen on looking at him.
âYes, big boss. Ears open for you, donât worry about me,â he stretched his arms before he folded them to lay his head on his clasped fingers. You wondered why he hadnât called you when you werenât really listening to him as well. Maybe he targeted Hobie on purpose to make you feel uncomfortable? You bit your lip. No, that canât be. Peter said Miguel didnât hate you and you trusted him so despite the voices haunting voices once more, you decided to believe in him.
Sometimes, you two would meet outside the building on his favourite Mexican stand outside the building. Maybe it was a habit formed over the time you knew him that you would buy him his empanadas. Now that you couldnât bring yourself to talk to him just yet, you bought some for yourself. You could not deny that you missed buying his food, only to eat half of it yourself.
âAh, itâs [Name]! How have you been? I havenât seen you in so long!â Mrs. Flores exclaimed as soon as she saw your walking figure towards her. You two have gotten close a bit back then and has since then insisted you to call her âAbuelaâ. âHave you lost weight? Youâve gotten smaller since I last saw you!â
You didnât think you did but before you could deny she was immediately cooking some empanadas, âJust wait, Iâll cook some for you, okay? No need to pay.â
âAbuela, thank you, but I canât accept this without payment. Please, let me pay,â you opened your wallet and took some money but she wasnât having it.
âNo! I told you I donât need any money! Do I look like I need some, huh? Donât make me angry,â she threateningly pointed her clamps at you. You just sighed, knowing full well that her stubbornness was stronger than any villain you had fought. Suddenly, a figure crept behind you and you paid it no mind, figuring it was some other customer but the voice surprised you.
âBuenas tardes, Señora. Lo de siempre por favor.â You looked at Miguel in reflex. He wore a plain white shirt and trousers and oh, he was so close to you. His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something but hesitation dripped from him so you took the opportunity to look away and stepped to your side to create some distance between you.
âOh, Âżes tĂș novio, [Name]? ÂĄLo sabĂa! Why didnât you say so? Heâs been the one buying empanadas instead when you were gone.â You choked on your own saliva and embarrassment immediately crept up your cheeks. You coughed it out as she side-eyed you. Miguel was silent and you wonder if he wasnât going to clear this misunderstanding up.
âYou had a fight, didnât you?â
âNo, Abuela, heâs not my boyfriendââ
âHe isnât? ÂĄQuĂ© hombre mĂĄs estĂșpido! Are your eyes not properly working? What are you still waiting for?â she snorted at him. The bubbling noises from the oil fill the silence as you didnât really know how to respond in this situation.Â
âWell whatever, you will fix it, wonât you?â she glared at him. In that moment, you felt loved once more and you were starting to truly believe that those who said you were annoying were wrong. You bit your lip. You did not deny to yourself that you were expecting to hear his answer.
âI will.â He replied with such determination and resolution as he looked at you. Your heart throbbed, you saw how much he wanted to fix things right with you and you didnât know how to feel. Glad? Happy? But you also felt upset at yourself because you almost wanted to smile just because of that and it felt like you were too easy in forgiving him even though he hurt you so much. You quickly dismissed the confusing feelings down and when Abuela gave you the empanadas, you hurriedly slipped some bills while you took the food and almost ran off.
But everything would have to come to an end, including this avoidance of yours of him. You sorted out your thoughts, and your feelings, each day as you avoided him like a plague after numerous encounters because you feared that if you saw him one more time, you would burst out and say things that you didnât mean like he did.Â
On the day that you decided to finally stop everything and just talk to him, you were beaten to it by Miguel. You were looking through the windows in the building and stared at the beautiful blue skies and the white clouds that decorated it. The flying cars and the mega train running vertically were like the birds and the beam of sunlight back in your home and you were reminded of the differences you and Miguel had.Â
â[Name],â his voice was so soft, so unlike the tone he had the day he yelled at you. You admit you had gotten comfortable with the pain you felt since that day that you still wanted to evade his gazes and attempts to reach out to you. But the rational part of you, the one that grew from the pain, knew you had to meet his eyes this time. To let him reach you this time. And so you did. You looked at him, you looked at his eyes that were looking at you so desperately, so hesitatingly.
âCan we talk, please? Just the two of us,â he said but to you, it felt like he pleaded with the way his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw was clenched, awaiting your words that seemed like it would decide his fate.
âOkay,â you breathed out and he did too. The crease on his forehead slowly thinned out and his shoulders moved back. You knew that if someone different saw Miguel like this, they would think he was normal and that he wasnât acting differently. But you knew better. Despite the tough shell he portrayed, there was a man vulnerable just like you. You just had a soft shell.
You two went to his office and the door closed behind you two. He asked Lyla to not let anyone enter for at least a while so nobody would disturb you both. She saw you and waved brightly at you. She then nodded and finally disappeared.
âBefore you say anything, can you honestly answer this one question I have? Just one, please,â you asked him, nerves started to creep onto you and you wanted to look away so bad but you have to search for the truth in his eyes. You have to know his answer to your question.
âSure, yes. Iâll be honest, I swear.â He promised you.
âDid you ever really think I was annoying? That all I do was nothing but cause trouble for you?â
âNever.âÂ
âLiar.â You were disappointed. You were not as stupid and oblivious as others thought of you. There was a part of yourself that knew that you were bothering them. That you were bothering him. But you couldnât help it. You cared for him and if talking too much, if bothering him would make him distracted from the grief and the pain he had from Gabriella then you would gladly do it.
âNo, I wasnât lying, [Name]ââ you looked away. He couldnât even be honest with you. Were you that unworthy of honesty? That was all you had asked. You clenched your fist and let your nails dig into your palm. âListen to me, please.â
You start to walk away.
â[Name], por favor,â
You were nearing the exit.
âIâ fuck it, yes! I didnât like you because you were so annoying. I hated you.â You immediately looked back at him. Disbelief was obvious in your face and tears fell from your eyes. You felt a sense of betrayal at this. If he hated me so much, then why did he let me so close to him? Were you just a show to him? Were you entertaining? He was approaching you and strength had left your legs from the shock at what he said but you remained still.
âI hated the way you talked so much I felt like I was losing a part of myself because I wanted to know more about you and listen to you talk. I hated the way you know so much about me. I felt like you could see through me and I was so scared that you would hate me if you knew what I truly am. I hated the way you cared for me like no other because I cared for you too and I was so terrified to lose you too. I hated the way youâre so reckless, you donât care if you get hurt as long as itâs for others.â He stopped in front of you and tears were also coming out from his eyes. âI hated the way you captured my whole attention whenever youâre there by my side because I canât look at anything else anymore. I canât work properly anymore. I canât think properly anymore andâ and I, oh fuck.â
What?
âYouâre so annoying because you distract me so much. I hated you because I fell for you and youâre all I could think about and I just donât know anymore,â he shakily breathed out. His figure was so big but at this moment, you felt like he was so small. His tears ran continuously like a furious stream and you were sure yours were too.
âWhen you left, it didnât feel right anymore. I missed you talking to me. I missed you eating my food. I missed you annoying me. I missed you so much it hurts.â His voice turned hoarse and you finally moved. You caressed your hand on his cheeks and he leaned his face against your touch. âLo siento, [Name]. I really am. Es la verdad, por favor crĂ©eme. Por favorâŠâ
âAre you stupid? Why didnât you tell me?â you cried out as you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him tight. But you couldnât really blame him. Because he was the same as you. Despite his flying cars and vertical running train and your birds and beam of sunlight, there was still the same blue sky and white clouds. Despite his tough shell and your soft one, you two were just as vulnerable as the other.
âIâm sorry, donât hate me pleaseâŠâ he croaked out and gripped onto your suit tight. You leaned back a bit to hold his face in your palms. His face was wet, his hair was a mess, and he looked so haggard. You lean your forehead against his.
âI donât, I promise. I could never hate you and I hate you for it as well,â you giggled amidst your tears.Â
Really, he was such a stupid man and you were so annoying.
tag-list: (i'm sorry if i wasn't able to tag you!) @nxrdamp @um-well @nanasdumbworld @myconglomerateromance @sleepyamaya @harlekin6 @bittersw33t-lotus @saturnknows @miggyoharaswife @innergardentoadpony @asobriquet @mimooyi @misscaller06 @sciencethot @vainillasmil157 @just-a-mothboi @katsukiswrld @zukiizuks @cumbermovels @bigmood-myman @momos-peaches @lunrai @saint-chlorine @themoonsaynotocircus @deputy-videogamer @brittney69 @armins-ocean-seashell @galadrien02 @ranp01 @witherfag @eileen201804 @daryldixonh0e @chinglewingledingledong @mystar-girl57 @lorarri @poopoobuttsy @scarletsloveletter @mimimarvelingmarvel @tfygcdy @skulfan1 @roryrose327 @gamersansblog
#blue writes! â§Ë*°àż#spiderverse 2#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#spiderman 2099#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#atsv angst
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
â candy paint, l. norris. â  â â â Â
â â ââ ââ summary: lando norris is a lot of things: 100% honest is not one of them. good thing you're around to make sure he owns his weaknesses.
â â ââ ââ author's note: first lando fic everyone cheer!! finding my footing writing lando's personality (dry asf) but I'll get there lmao day three of my no nut november series.
â â ââ ââ warnings: smut, please do not interact with my work if you are under 18. language, friends with benefits, the max mentioned is fewtrell not verstappen, oral (male receiving)protected sex, neither reader nor lando can shut the fuck up.
â â ââ ââ pairing: lando norris x reader.
â â ââ ââ word count: 2k.
"You're kidding, right?" you said into the phone, your voice laced with a hint of skepticism. The rain pattered against the window of your apartment, matching the rhythm of your thoughts. You had just returned from a week-long work trip and were looking forward to a quiet evening in.
Lando's voice was as persistent as the rain outside. "Come on, mate. It's been too long. You know I can't wait." His tone was a blend of playful and demanding, the kind that usually made your heart flutter. But this time, you had to draw a line.
"Lando, seriously," you said, a smirk playing on your lips. "What about your little bet with Max?" The mention of Max's name brought a mischievous glint to your eye. You knew how much he hated losing, especially to his friends.
Lando chuckled, the sound echoing through the line. "I wasn't sticking to the bet anyway. I've got to see you." His voice grew husky with desire, the kind of voice that made your knees wobble and your resolve waver. "I'll come to you."
You hesitated, your eyes narrowing as you considered his plea. The thought of seeing Lando sent a warm shiver down your spine. You could almost feel his strong hands gripping your hips, his breath hot on your neck. "Fine," you relented. "But if you want to come over, I'm telling Max you caved."
"You wouldn't," Lando said with mock horror, and you could almost hear his grin.
"Oh, I absolutely would," you replied, the challenge in your voice unmistakable. "You're the one begging to see me, remember?"
The line went quiet for a beat, and then Lando sighed dramatically. "Alright, fine, whatever. I'll be there in twenty."
Twenty minutes later, the sound of the door opening and closing was like music to your ears. You felt the heat of Lando's presence before you even saw him. He was soaking wet from the rain outside, his white t-shirt clinging to his muscular chest. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him. "You look like a drowned rat," you said, standing up from the couch where you had been scrolling through your phone.
"Charming," Lando shot back with a smirk, shaking his wet hair like a dog and spraying droplets across the floor. He stepped closer to you, and you could smell the faint scent of his cologne mingling with the freshness of rain. "But it's worth it if it means I get to see this gorgeous face." He leaned in to kiss you, but you playfully pushed him away. "What, no greeting for the man who braved the storm to see you?"
You rolled your eyes but couldn't hide your smile. "Take off your clothes before you drench the whole place," you said, stepping aside. You watched as he peeled off his shirt, revealing the defined abdomen and muscular arms that had your knees growing weaker by the second. You made no effort to hide your eyes sweeping over his form as you bit your bottom lip.
He kicked off his shoes and socks, leaving a puddle by the door. "Better?" he asked, a glint in his eye as he moved closer.
"Marginally," you replied, trying to keep your cool. But when Lando's hands reached for your waist, pulling you into his warm embrace, you melted against him. His touch was like a warm blanket on a cold night, comforting and revitalizing all at once.
You kissed with an intensity that spoke of weeks of pent-up longing, your tongues dancing in a familiar rhythm. His hands slid down your back, cupping your ass, and you felt his erection pressing against your thigh. "You're going to be the end of me," he murmured against your lips.
You pulled away just enough to whisper, "You're the one who couldn't wait." You stepped back, taking his hand and leading him to the couch. With a swift motion, you straddled him, your cotton shorts riding up your thighs. Lando's hands roamed up your legs, his thumbs teasing the hem, hinting at what was to come.
Your round brown eyes searched his emerald ones, a silent question lingering between you two. "You sure you're ready to lose?" you asked, your voice low and sultry. The room was filled with the sound of your ragged breaths and the distant patter of rain.
Lando's grin was all the answer you needed. "Love, I'd do anything to taste you right now." His thumbs hooked into the waistband of your shorts, and with a quick pull, they were around your ankles. He groaned as he felt the heat of your bare skin against his.
You giggled, a sound that was music to his ears, and leaned back, placing your hands on his shoulders. "Well, you're in luck," you said, your voice dripping with seduction. "Because I'm feeling quite generous."
Without breaking eye contact, Lando reached for the waistband of his sweats pulling it down with a slow, deliberate movement. His erection sprang free, and you couldn't help but gasp. He was always so beautifully aroused, so ready for you. You slid your hand over it, feeling it pulse beneath your touch.
He groaned, his eyes closing briefly before snapping open again. "Don't tease me," he warned, his voice strained.
"Who's teasing?" you said, your smile wicked. You kneeled off the couch, your soft dark curls brushing against his chest, and took him in your mouth. Lando's grip tightened on the couch cushions, his body arching off the cushions with a hiss.
"Fuck, babe," he groaned, his eyes rolling back. Your mouth was warm and wet, moving over him with the kind of expertise that only came from knowing someone's body intimately. You took him deep, your tongue swirling around the head before pulling back to tease the sensitive underside. You knew every inch of him, every spot that made him squirm, and every spot that made him beg.
You felt a rush of power, your eyes sparkling with amusement as you watched Lando's reaction. You loved the way he lost control around you, the way his cocky exterior crumbled to reveal the desperate need beneath. You bobbed your head faster, taking him deeper each time, until you felt his thighs tense and his hips jerk upwards.
"Goddammit," he breathed, his hands finding their way into your hair, guiding your movements. "I can't wait anymore." He pulled you off him, his eyes dark with need. "Get on top," he said, his voice a gruff command.
Your heart raced as you straddled him, your own desire matching his. You watched as he reached into the pocket of his sweats, retrieving a condom he casually slid over his length. Then you felt him at your entrance, his fingers eagerly pushing your panties to the side, and with a little wiggle, you sank down, enveloping him in your warmth. Lando's eyes rolled back in his head, a silent groan escaping his lips. The sensation of him filling you was overwhelming, a sweet ache that you had missed.
You found your rhythm quickly, your bodies moving together as if you had been practicing this dance your whole life. Lando's hands roamed your body, cupping your breasts and squeezing your hips as you rode him. Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving little half-moons of pressure as you rose and fell. Each time you took him in, you felt like you were claiming a piece of him, a piece that was yours and yours alone.
The sound of your bodies slapping together filled the room, a testament to your passion. You leaned forward, your breasts brushing against Lando's chest, and whispered, "Couldn't even go two weeks, could you?" Your voice was teasing, but it held an underlying satisfaction. You knew you had the power to make him break his bet.
"Fuck the bet," Lando groaned, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. "You're all I need." His words were punctuated by his hips bucking upwards, pushing into you with a desperation that sent a shiver down your spine. The room grew hotter, the scent of your desire mixing with the dampness from the rain outside.
Your movements grew more frantic, their breaths mingling in the air. The couch creaked beneath you, a testament to the intensity of your passion. You felt yourself getting closer, your inner muscles tightening around him. Lando's grip on your hips grew firmer, his fingers digging into your skin.
"Come for me," he urged, his eyes burning into yours. "Let go, baby."
You threw your head back, your dark curls bouncing off your shoulders as you picked up your pace. The sensations grew more intense, each stroke bringing you closer to the edge. Lando's hands moved from your hips to your breasts, his hands squeezing at the bouncing flesh before leaning down to bring his mouth to the peaks. You gasped, the pleasure shooting straight to your core.
"Yes, just like that," you moaned, your voice a little raspy. The warmth of his mouth on your breasts sent shockwaves through your body. You felt your orgasm approaching, the familiar coil tightening in your belly. You leaned into him, your movements becoming erratic as you chased the feeling.
Lando could feel you tightening around him, your breath coming in short gasps. He knew you were close, and it was his undoing. He thrust upwards, his own release building. "Fuck," he groaned, his eyes meeting yours, silently pleading for you to let go.
With a cry, you did. Your orgasm washed over you, making your body convulse. You felt him swell inside you, his own climax following closely behind. You held onto each other tightly, your bodies moving together in perfect harmony until the waves of pleasure subsided.
For a moment, you stayed just like that, panting and sweaty, your hearts hammering in your chests. Then, Lando leaned in to kiss you, a gentle brush of his lips that spoke of affection and satisfaction. He pulled out of you with a soft groan, and you felt a twinge of loss. But the warmth of his body remained, his arms still wrapped around your waist.
"You're amazing," he murmured against your neck, his voice a low rumble that made your skin prickle. You leaned into the embrace, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. This was your thing, your little slice of heaven, left uncomplicated despite your close friendship.
You lay there for a while, your bodies entwined and your breaths slowing. The rain outside had turned into a gentle pitter-patter, lulling you into a state of post-coital bliss. It was moments like these that made the world seem to stop spinning, where the only thing that mattered was the warmth of each other's skin and the sound of your hearts beating in unison.
You leaned back and looked into his green eyes, the corners of your mouth curling up in a knowing smile. "So," you began, "Are you going to man up and text Max now, or should I?"
Lando groaned, his head falling back against the couch cushion. "You're enjoying this way too much," he said, a hint of a grin playing on his lips.
"I like seeing you squirm," you replied, your voice light and playful. You reached for your phone on the coffee table, your eyes gleaming with mischief. You knew Lando was competitive to a fault and losing was not something he took kindly to, especially not when it came to something as serious as a bet with Max.
Lando's eyes narrowed playfully as he watched you type away, his arms still around your waist. "Don't be too detailed," he murmured, his grip tightening slightly.
You glanced up at him, your smile widening. "Oh, I won't," you said sweetly, sending the text. "But he's going to know you didn't last five minutes."
Lando's eyes shot open. "You didn't!"
"Oh, I did," you said with a laugh, the sound like a melody in the quiet room. "And you know what?"
He tugged on your hair gently, bringing you closer. "What?"
"It was worth it," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity. "Every single second."
You kissed him softly, your tongue darting out to trace his bottom lip. Lando's eyes closed, savoring the moment, his arms tightening around you. He knew you were right, that the thrill of being with you was worth any bet.
#&. cassie writes.#&. nnn masterlist.#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smut#lando norris x black!reader#x black fem reader#black!fem!reader#black!reader#x black reader
849 notes
·
View notes