#germany is on some bullshit
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mileenaxyz · 11 months ago
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Namibia has entered the chat.
ETA This part 😂😂😂...
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taylorftparamore · 1 month ago
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i love when europeans say shit like "in europe we do this" and it's such a broadsweeping claim that i am like. ain't no fuckin way. ain't no goddamn way. i KNOW you're lying.
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the-deadlock-south · 7 months ago
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we lost the game but i won in looking cracked in front of strangers so did we (i) really lose (yes)
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panvani · 11 months ago
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I actually finished Monster a few days ago but I will state my feelings on it for posterity's sake: I think Monster, while composed of a number of well written and evocative vignettes, ultimately fails to execute its overall emotional arc well. If the story had been explicitly framed episodically with an overarching B-plot connecting these episodes, I might feel more positively towards it, but the fact that it must nominally develop its "main plot" each chapter while devoting most of its screen time to tangentially related stock characters was extremely frustrating. None of the twists or reveals actually felt consequential because information about the main plot is fed to you so painstakingly and in a way that's so repetitive that its conclusion is largely predictable and almost anticlimactic.
Monster ultimately does not do a very good job of developing any of its main cast. Its story and characters warp around Tenma, who is just not very interesting. I was frankly just fed up with him and the unilateral adoration that every character holds for him by the end of the story. Nina was extremely underdeveloped for the character she should have been and supposedly was within the story and any pathos that could have been elicited by her was neutered by first having her be barely present for the vast majority of the story, and second by also relegating her into being a Guy Who Just Loves Tenma. Eva was probably the closest any character had to a real character arc and her writing was just so absurdly misogynistic for nearly the entire story I couldn't enjoy any time she was on screen. Johan should have been an interesting character, but the manga got so long and drawn out that by the end I was just fed up with him.
The story overall was weirdly saccharine in a way that felt almost childish in contrast to its intended tone, and while that's not in itself a bad thing, its attempts to portray humanity as Overall Good felt simplistic and often cheap. It kinda goes hand in hand with how horribly it attempts to address WWII. "Well, The Nazis Felt Really Bad About It" and "If You Think About It, Japanese People Were The Real Victims" are not, uh. Themes that show a willingness to contend with complex morality or any real belief in human goodness aside from superficial self-reassurance. Also Urasawa Naoki is insanely insanely insanely afraid of sex.
Ultimately I think Monster would have been way, way better if it had just been shorter and had treated its main plot in any reasonable manner. It had a lot of interesting, evocative moments, and a lot of the ideas of the main plot could have been really good to chew on if the main plot hadn't lost momentum long before it was actually wrapped up. Nina and Johan are given very interesting treatment on occasion, and I have been thinking about their characters and relationship quite a bit since finishing Monster, but the plot was so bogged down in the Various Extraneous Dipshits and the need to conform every aspect of Nina's character around Tenma that there's no actual interesting conclusion to be drawn from them.
I think on an arc-by-arc level, Monster is quite well written, and it has a few really strong moments. It just makes such poor use of its format overall that it sours the whole experience.
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astramachina · 1 year ago
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i will say, fuck disney, but he really popped off with the og EPCOT. that was my shit when i was a kid and it's still technically my favorite of the orlando parks even if it's slowly turning into an IP nightmare.
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thecolorsfucked · 1 year ago
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just saw the german venue cancelled purim thing like
everyday i wonder how jewish ppl dont just go apeshit
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mr-ladystardust · 2 years ago
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respectfully, can they speed this the fuck up?? I want to sleep
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reginaofdoctorwho · 2 years ago
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hell is real and it's the classroom discussion page on the gender and sexuality unit
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mayhaps-magical · 1 year ago
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Very little beats the emotional rollercoaster that is waking up, checking Tumblr and seeing your country trending only to find out some bot dumped half a kphjillion ad posts into the tag and you didn't manage to sleep throught a disaster
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melancholicscoundrel · 1 year ago
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h e l p m e I’m in love with an anime character AGAIN
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foone · 1 year ago
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Have you heard about the Polish Train company, Newag, and the bullshit it turns out they got up to?
So, the regional rail operator Koleje Dolnośl��skie bought some Newag Impuls back in 2016 . In late 2021, some of them need to have major maintenance done, as they've been in service a while. So the company SPS (Serwis Pojazdów Szynowych) gets the contract to fix them. They basically take the train apart, replace a bunch of it, following all the rules in the documentation Newag gave them, and... it won't move. The train says everything is fine, the brakes are off, there's plenty of power, but you push the throttle up and it won't move.
SPS spends a while trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong, with no luck. So they hire some hackers from the Polish security group Dragon Sector. Dragon Sector figures out how to get into the code of the computer system that runs the train, and OH MY GOD.
So it turns out there's a secret train-lock system. If it's on, the train won't move. This will be triggered in some situations you might think are normal: the clocks are wrong, the serial numbers of the various parts have changed, and a firmware mismatch between the main computer and the power system. Now, the fact that it makes sense to not run the train in these situations until someone can check it? that doesn't extend to the fact the train uses a SECRET lock system, rather than just popping up an error message telling you what's wrong. There's also the problem that while these are all potential error problems, they can't be cleared by anyone with the technical manuals, which are supposed to cover everything about how to run these trains. Only Newag themselves can reset this system.
Which, you know, keeps SPS from properly fixing them. Only Newag can fix them now, but not because SPS lacks any technical ability, but because Newag sabotaged their own trains. But don't worry: it gets worse.
So now that Dragon Sector knows what's happening, they get to look at other trains. It turns out the trains aren't all running the same software, and there are other tricks in there.
One of them is a "how long has the train been stopped?" check. If the train hasn't hit 60 km/h in 10 days, the train locks itself and won't move until Newag can clear it. So, like, if a train is ever out of service, like it's going to a repair place... it'll break itself. Unless the repair place is owned by Newag.
But two of the trains go further: See, these trains have GPS built in, right? You may be able to guess where this is going...
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THEY JUST MAKE THE TRAIN CHECK IF IT IS PARKED AT THEIR COMPETITORS' REPAIR YARD AND BREAK ITSELF IF IT WAS.
The sheer audacity of this move. This is frighteningly bullshit anti-competition self-sabotage.
This has, obviously, made some parts of the Polish government to start investigating this. Newag may be (and hopefully will be) in a lot of trouble.
For more info, there's a great video of a presentation by the three people from Dragon Sector who did the hacking, which was presented at the 37th Chaos Communication Congress in Germany.
Ars Technica also has an article on it, but it predates the presentation so it doesn't have some of the later details.
Anyway, the good news is that in the end the hackers at Dragon Sector were able to unlock most of the trains: A few had additional trickery that they didn't want to hack around, because it might break the train's certification. For the others, they discovered undocumented "cheat codes" in the software that they could use to bypass the secret lockouts... presumably the same ones that Newag would have used when they "repaired" trains.
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dasha-through-the-snow · 19 days ago
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Like, seriously
Almost every single country's public holidays fit into the same predictable mold:
Day of national unity
Celebration of some glorious military victory that no one alive has any connection to
Day of independence from England/Germany/France/Spain/Russia/Turkey/Japan/whoever
Assorted religious holidays, half of which coincide with the start/end of the harvest season and at least one is conveniently in the middle of the darkest, coldest and most depressing month
NEW YEAR'S, FUCK YEAH, LET'S GET DRUNK AS SHIT
Something very political/historical
Random bullshit
And most people in the Western world are very secular about all of this too. Santa is way more important for Christmas than Jesus, for better or for worse.
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jinxedshapeshifter · 19 days ago
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I think the vibes between prosecutors vs defense attorneys in Ace Attorney is incredibly funny. Most defense attorneys are pretty normal but then you get to the prosecutors:
Edgeworth is obsessed with the Steel Samurai, looks like a fucking zombie if you kill one of his arguments, left a note saying "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death" not expecting people to take it as a suicide note then finding it weird when people get mad it him for leaving what FEELS like a suicide note when he goes to Europe, has staring contests WITH HIMSELF in reflective surfaces, and has a chess table set up to where it's just a bunch of Edgeworths surrounding a Phoenix, among other things.
MVK killed a man over a win record, reveals his ATM PIN in court, and suggests cross-examining a parrot and doesn't expect the defense to actually do it (despite having known Phoenix for more than a day AND PREPARING FOR IT). There might be more in Turnabout Goodbyes that I'm not remembering or more in Investigations that I don't know about because I haven't played Investigations.
Franziska became a prosecutor at the age of 13, has a perfect win record which means she won against ADULT DEFENSE ATTORNEYS in Germany for 5 years, carries a whip with her everywhere she goes, and gets upset when a 9 year old gets mad at her for prosecuting her cousin.
Godot allows himself SEVENTEEN CUPS OF COFFEE A TRIAL (how is he still alive, how has he not died from a caffeine overdose), was woken from a coma by the scent of coffee, usually reserves the pet name "kitten" for pretty women but calls a male defendant kitten multiple times, FLIRTS with the aforementioned defendant, assaults Phoenix with coffee multiple times, speaks in cryptic coffee metaphors all the time, and has such bad trust issues that he didn't tell Phoenix about a plan he made with Misty and Iris (and telling Phoenix about this plan could've cut down on the amount of bullshit that happened in Bridge to the Turnabout).
Klavier is a rockstar who acts like he's more focused on his music than being a prosecutor but actually isn't, is a perfectionist to the level that he got pissed about Daryan missing a cue and is so gay for Apollo that Apollo shows up and he lights up IMMEDIATELY, assumed Apollo set his guitar on fire, uses two massive speakers as desks in his office, has a floor to ceiling filing cabinet for some reason, and is somehow the more normal of the Gavin bros.
Barok is all but stated to be a vampire, HE HAS BATS IN HIS OFFICE, he's so particular about how his office is organized that he won't let anyone touch his chalices, wine bottles, or wine casks, he throws wine bottles into the gallery behind him, slams the prosecutor’s bench WITH HIS LEG if you upset him enough, accuses Ryunosuke of being the reason he smashes his crystal chalices, and does not seem to care about Ryunosuke taking a 10 year old to investigate a murder with him, among other things.
The Paynes (including Taketsuchi Auchi). Just everything about them all but especially the fact that they have some variant of "this man is the most incompetent prosecutor I've ever fucking met" in their court record profiles
I haven't met Blackquill or Nahyuta yet but based purely on vibes and what I DO know about them I'm assuming they fit into the "prosecutors are really fucking weird" trope Ace Attorney loves so much.
In comparison the defense attorneys are incredibly normal (although still not really normal) and it's hilarious
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bruhnze · 4 months ago
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Fuck this - Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
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Summary: Jealous Lucy.
Warnings: A lot of bad words, smut. Minors DNI. Not proof read :) THIS IS X-RATED!!!
Wordcount: 4k
i dedicate this one to you @onabronze and to the anons that asked it's not really good but i tried :).
(i've emptied my inbox so if your ask is not on my WIP pls send again (if u still want it done) because i had so much garbage in there i just removed everything in one go, sorry not sorry😬)
Ps: We do not hate Germany (don't come for me, it was for the plot)!
´´fuck this shit´´ Lucy mumbled to herself as she was running faster and faster on the treadmill, ´´fucking dick-head ref, that’s not a fucking yellow´´. ‘’Cata is a fucking goalie, you fuck ass pigfucker, really strange for her to use her hands, huh, dumb fuck’’.
´´that’s a lot of f-bombs Bronze’’ Millie tried to joke, not noticing how worked up the English defender really was.
‘’Fuck off Millie’’, Bronze called as she stopped the machine and ran off with her eyes glued to her phone.
‘’Bruh’’ Lauran giggled, ‘’you know Spain Germany is on right now’’.
‘’Oh really’’ Millie said confused, ‘’ohh, fuck, her girl is playing for Spain right’’.
‘’Yeah, they’re losing’’ Sam called from the bench on the side of the gym, ‘’Gwinn is about to take a penal and she hasn’t missed a single one for club’’.
‘’Are you watching that?’’ James asked while she strutted over to the Australian, ‘’let me watch along’’.
‘’Ofcourse mate’’ Sam chuckled, ‘’I watch everything’’.  
‘’Do we check on her?’’ Millie asked, mostly directed to Lauren, as she knows her best.
‘’Nah’’ James says, ‘’if you like to live you’d best leave her alone’’.
‘’Sure?’’.
‘’Yes, we’ll just give her some boxing gloves as the game is over’’.
..
‘’Ona doesn’t deserve this shit, what a horseshit head coach’’.
‘’Putellas missing a penalty what a fucking joke’’.
‘’You’re a cunt Berger, A CUNT!’’.
Lauren knocked on the doorpost of the locker-room, ‘’Ey Luce, they’re looking for someone to break in the new boxing gloves’’.
‘’I hate those German wankers with their ugly kits’’.
The English forward suppressed a giggle, ‘’yeah they suck, but you should turn it of bruv, it’s no point of watching them cry’’.
‘’Ona is going to be devastated’’, Lucy said as she looked up and stared ahead, as if she’s just realized it.
‘’Are you seeing her soon?’’ Lauren asked carefully.
Lucy snapped out of her trance and looked at her friend, ‘’yeah she coming tomorrow’’.
‘’To London?’’.
‘’Yes, she has ten days off’’.
''Well then you have enough time to comfort her''.
Lucy sighed ''yeah, I'll just quickly send her a text and then we'll box, I'm going to turn off this stream bullshit''. She says as she looked back at her phone and saw Paralluelo crying. ‘’my heart can’t take this’’, she muttered quietly without James hearing it.
..
When she was driving back ‘home’ from the training ground she received a call, it was Ona.
‘’Hey love’’, Lucy said timidly, not sure about if Ona’s mood would be more sad or angry, or maybe both.
Instead Ona answered pretty lightly, ‘’hey Luce, how are you?’’.
‘’Huh?’’ Lucy said, maybe a bit too loud ‘’I should be asking you that’’.
‘’Montse just scolded us for an hour’’ Ona said, ‘’but for some reason I don’t care about the loss, Germany was just better and I think Cata needs a psychologist after she’s broken her nose, she’s been out of it for every game after it’’.
‘’You deserved to win’’ Lucy said with tears in her eyes.
Ona chuckled ‘’I love you Lucy, but honestly, I’ve got respect for the Germans, they played well’’.
‘’I hate the Germans’’.
Ona chuckled louder, ‘’no Luce, you can not say that because they won Bronze’’.
‘’I hate Montse then’’.
‘’Okay’’, Ona laughed ‘’I agree with that one’’. ‘’But I am going to dinner with my family tonight, so I have to get ready in a little bit, you texted me to call you when I had time, so that’s why I called’’.
‘’Oh wow’’ Lucy said, a little hurt ‘’not because you wanted to hear your girlfriends voice’’.
‘’I see you tomorrow’’, Ona chuckled.
‘’That’s true but I still miss you today’’ Lucy sighed, ‘’maybe I’m a wuss, but I just feel bad for you Oni and I thought you might have needed some comfort’’.
‘’I love you, but I have to get ready’’ Ona laughed, ‘’see you tomorrow?’’.
‘’or you can call me tonight after dinner?’’.
‘’I think I will go to bed straight after, I am extremely tired’’.
‘’I understand, do you want to stay on the phone when you get ready?’’.
‘’Okay’’ Ona said as she put her phone on speaker.
After Ona had hung up because her cab was about to be there, Lucy thought about what she would eat for dinner.
She looked around her kitchen, ''fuck'' she mumbled ''i should clean this shit up''.
She opened her phone and ordered some sushi for tonight, 'because she deserved some comfort food' and got to work.
Her appartment was still a bit of a mess after the quick move in, and she needed it to be presentable for her girlfriend tomorrow. Ona would probably start cleaning her place and she didn't want to be a partner like that, that would be stupid because it was one of her own icks.
As she had cleaned up her apartment the bell rang.
With the sushi she took place at the table and opened the ipad that layed there.
Mindlessly she went on Twitter, she was logged on to her anonymous account and went on the hashtag 'Ona Battle'. She knew she shouldn't, but she was curious what the people thought of her performance this game.
Lucy had seen Ona was tired, but when you took in mind she'd played every single minute, and Lucy knew Ona slept very bad in the hotel, she had played very good.
She froze when she saw people joking about Feli and Ona being back together ''what the hell?'' she said to herself as she went deeper into the rabbithole and eventually came aross pictures of Ona in a Germany shirt, and not just any German shirt, it was the ugly 'Rauch 19' one.
Lucy was tempted to send a teasing text, maybe even with the picture attached, but she chose not too.
She couldn't help to feel a little anger inside her towards Feli, and as she came across a video of them chatting and giggling Lucy lost her shit and quickly closed the Ipad.
She jumped up from the table ''Fucking hell, not bothered about losing, fuck that'', she started pacing the room ''Germay deserved it'' she mocked, ''sure Ona, if you want to fuck her just say that''.
Lucy walked to her kitchen and fetched a beer from the fridge that was left from when Jorge had helped her with building some furniture ''fuck it'', she thought she might aswell have this because it was such a shitty night.
She took the beer to the bathroom and ran a bath, after that she went back to the kitchen to grab her ipad and got in, eventhough she had already taken a shower this afternoon.
Finaly she felt a little better, she had watched some episodes of a series she was watching and after two hours she decided to just go to bed early, Ona didn't want to call anyways so she didn't see the point of staying up. Might aswell get some rest before she saw Ona again tomorrow, eventhough she'd probably be very tired, so Lucy doubted they'd do anything, but atleast she'd be able to take care of her better.
As she got comfy in her bed she opened her phone to check one last time if Ona had sent her a text.
She hadn't.
Then she opened Instagram, scrolling for a little while.
She was just about to shut her phone when she saw @feli_rauch on her timeline, ''bitch'' she grumbled and as she took a better look she saw it was a teamphoto of the Germans, she only saw one person wearing a red shirt in the whole group.
''No way'' she said out loud as she zoomed in, ''are you kiddin' me'' - ''the only fucking shirt swap and it's my girlfriends' ''.
She closed her phone, trew it on the nightstand and dramatically dropped herself on the bed to go to sleep.
As she remembered she still had to put on an alarm and it would be probably best to have her phone on the charger she reached out to put the nightlamp on and fetched it.
When she held her phone it automatically unlocked with face-ID, and she saw that god-awfull team picture again ''fuckkkkkk'' she groaned as she swiped instagram away ''this is one big joke''.
After she had finally put in an alarm and found her charger, she put the light out and layed down again.
She tried hard to sleep but her mind kept wondering off to Ona.
Normally she wouldn't mind that one bit, sometimes her hand would even find it's way between her legs when she thought about her hot, beautiful girlfriend.
But not this time, her mind was polluted with images of Feli and Ona laughing together.
She knew Feli was Ona's ex, she had never really been bothered about it, eventhough she knew her mind was just being a bit stupid, she couldn't help to think back about what Ona had told her about Feli after Lucy had asked her how she had ever been with Feli.
''I wasn't really with her, we just fucked''. Ona had said laughing, ''but i soon found out she was very vanilla and for a relationship we would never ever work''.
Lucy knew she shouldn't have asked the question, but she had, ''but was she good?''.
Ona had asked her if she really wanted to know, and she had confirmed that she did.
After the answer she had regretted asking it, ''uhm, well, at the things she did do she was pretty good at, it just got boring very quickly'' Ona had said.
Now she was laying in bed with the thoughts of Feli fucking Rauch having her way with her precious Ona.
The thought that the German had tasted Ona sickened her.
The thought that the German had been inside Ona sickened her.
But the thought that Ona had, at one point, enjoyed it, got her blood boiling.
Maybe it was the distance.
Maybe it was because they hadn't been able to be intimate for a few weeks now.
Maybe it was the fact Ona hadn't told her about the shirt swap.
But Lucy felt jealous like she had never before.
..
Lucy woke up from her alarm, and checked her messages.
None from Ona.
She freshened up and got dressed.
Nothing from Ona.
In the kitchen she made herself some breakfast.
Nothing from Ona.
She went through the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator and wrote out a grocery list.
Nothing from Ona.
Lucy knew she would be flying in a couple of hours, so she decided to send a text herself, eventhough she had wanted Ona to text her first.
..
It was afternoon, Lucy was waiting in her blue Skoda outside of the airport. When she saw the beautiful freckled woman walking outside, searching for her, she jumped out of the car.
Ona was wearing sunglasses and a hat, but Lucy would always recognise her.
She opened her trunk and walked towards Ona.
''Hello baby'', she said happily.
''Luce!'', Ona said as she sped up her pace walking to her girlfriend.
They shared an embrace, ''i have missed you so much'' Ona muttered against the taller woman.
Lucy held Ona away from her to take a look at her face, ''i have missed you too''.
''I want to kiss you, so lets get in the car please'', Ona said smiling.
Lucy hastily threw the suitcase into the car and got back in the drivers seat as she saw Ona was already in the car.
''Your suitcase was pretty light'' Lucy said as she hopped in next to Ona.
''Yeah, i gave a lot of my stuff with Joan, i'm planning to wear your clothes anyways'' Ona stated.
''Oh'' Lucy said as she smiled at her girlfriend, ''and cool frames by the way''.
She leant in to kiss Ona.
They shared a kiss full of love, it was adamant that they had both missed eachother.
Not wanting to risk being spotted by anyone Lucy pulled back and got ready to drive off, reversing out of the parking spot.
''What yours is mine'' Ona chuckled, ''you said it yourself''.
''True'', Lucy said as she put her hand on Ona's thigh and drove away ''it's cute''.
..
Lucy carried Ona's suitcase to her apartment, and handed Ona the key to get them inside.
''Should i unpack your stuff? is there anything in here that needs to be washed?''.
''Uhm, i don't think so, i have only worn a few clothes, mostly the olympic stuff and those are with Joan, he is going to wash that for me''.
''Clever'' Lucy chuckled, ''putting your brother to work''.
Ona grinned, ''ofcourse, but maybe i will take a shower now and then we can nap together?''.
''I'd love that'' Lucy said, ''oh and let me show you around quickly, i almost forgot''.
It was a pretty quick tour, as the apartment wasn´t that big.
´´So here is the kitchen´´, Lucy said smiling as she turned on her heel and spinned.
Ona laughed, ´´are you making us dinner tonight?'' she asked stepping closer to Lucy.
''Of course beautiful'' Lucy said as she pressed herself against the Catalan, ''i was thinking that one tofu dish you like''.
''Hm yes''. Ona groaned, thinking about the dish Lucy made her often, because she liked it so much.
''Good'' Lucy said ''because I bought stuff to make that this morning''.
''You know me so well''.
''Yes'' Lucy smiled, ''and to be known is to be loved''.
''So romantic'' Ona laughed.
''Oh i'm feeling really romantic'' Lucy said as she bit her lip.
´´Really?'' Ona smirked as she put her arms around Lucy's neck and crossed them.
Lucy kissed her softly.
Ona hungerly answered the kiss and tried to get impossibly closer, getting up her tiptoes.
Lucy pulled away with a smile on her face ''but first you wanted to shower right?''.
The Catalan pouted ''i do.. but i also want you''.
The English defender kissed her girlfriend ''i'll be still here after the shower, and i know how you like to shower off the travel''.
''sí okay''.
They went to the bedroom, Lucy leading the way.
Lucy showed the on-suite bathroom and pointed to the towels.
''Leave the door open?'', Lucy asked in the sweetest voice she could put on.
''Sure'' Ona chuckled, ''are you staying in the bedroom?''.
''Yeah i'll put away your clothes really quick, i don't want you living out of a suitcase when you're with me, and i left some space in the closet for you''.
Ona kissed Lucy, ''you're cute''.
''You're cute'', Lucy repeated.
Lucy opened the suitcase, ''you need some underwear? and what do you want to wear or were you really planning on stealing my clothes''.
''huh'' Ona said, ''it's not stealing, it's my right''.
She chuckled until she watched Lucy's face who could appearently not laugh about it, ''what?''.
Lucy stayed silent.
''Sorry'' Ona ''i'll wear my own clothes if you really don't-
''No'' Lucy said, ''why don't you wear this'' she asked with a sarcastic laugh as she held up the white football shirt.
Ona chuckled.
Lucy looked at her in disbelieve ''you think this is funny? tell me why i have a damp German shirt in my hands right now?'''.
''I said my brother was going to wash my stuff right'' Ona said, ''well, match worn is worth more, you know you're supposed to keep the shirts you trade unwashed right?''.
''Fuck that''.
''It's financially responsible'', Ona laughed and stepped towards Lucy to kiss her.
With a quick peck she wanted to walk away.
Lucy didn't have any of that and grabbed her wrist, ''more please''.
Ona chuckled, ''let me shower, then we nap together''.
''Ona''.
Ona sighed but gave in, she held Lucy's face as she kissed her again, this time more slowly.
Lucy hands travelled to Ona's ass and squeezed her cheeks as she pulled the Catalan in closer.
Ona grinned into the kiss, ''you missed me'' she said, with a tone sounding somewhere between a question and a statement.
''Where did you and Feli talk about after the match?'' Lucy said before she could stop herself.
Ona looked up with a mischievious smirk, ''is that what is bothering you?''.
Lucy huffed out some air, ''why did you swap shirts with her''.
''She wanted too''.
''So you said yes? and giggled about it with her?''.
''What did you want me to do then'' Ona chuckled, thinking it was funny seeing this jealous side of Lucy, it was something new.
''I dont know'' Lucy scolded lightly, ''just to tell her to fuck off with her boring shirt''.
Ona laughed ''boring shirt?, how can a shirt be boring''.
''Not the point'' Lucy grumbled, ''you talked to her after the match and you didn't want to speak to me''.
''I had a dinner!'' Ona laughed as she rubbed Lucy's arms, ''don't worry, you are the only one for me''.
She kissed Lucy's pouty face, ''my beautiful *kiss* strong *kiss* smart *kiss* perfect girlfriend *kiss*''.
Lucy pulled the Catalan thighter against her, ''i think i should give you a reminder''.
''What reminder?'' Ona frowned.
''About what good sex is like''.
''Luce!'' Ona slapped her shoulder playfully.
Lucy frowned, ''you want boring sex?''.
''No..''.
''Cus if you want that I could just put that ugly shirt on and we can roleplay that''.
Ona blushed, ''Lucee''.
Lucy's jaw dropped, ''you're not even saying that you don't want that?!''.
''I don't want that'' Ona rushed to say.
Lucy rolled her eyes. ''yeah i totally believe you now''.
''Sorry'' Ona pouted, putting on a cute smile ''i was distracted because you look so hot when you are jealous''.
''Í'm not jealous!''.
''Oh, és clar que no ets gelós'' (oh i see you are not jealous) Ona mockingly chuckled, she reached out to the suitcase and grabbed the shirt.
''Maybe i will wear it today''.
Lucy looked at her with dark eyes.
''It smells like her'' Ona added with a grin.
A second of silence hang in the air.
''Put it on.'' Lucy said.
Ona's smile faded ''No i was just joking''.
Lucy repeated herself ''go on, put it on''.
''I was kidding''.
''i'm not''. ''put. it. on.''.
Ona gulped and took her shirt off to put it on.
Lucy stopped her, ''no wait, first get naked and then put it on'' she said as she took her shorts off.
Ona felt her heartbeat fasten from the way this aroused her and followed the instructions.
''Your panties too'' Lucy said as walked to 'the drawer' and chose a rather large strap-on to wear.
Ona looked excited at Lucy, wearing a cheeky smile.
''You want this one?'' she helt the strap up.
Ona nodded furiously, a blush creeping on her cheeks.
''i can't hear you'' Lucy said as she pretended to put it back in the drawer again and took her shirt off.
''No wait'' Ona said ''yes, i want that one''.
''Okay, i suppose you deserve it right?''.
''Yes'' Ona said desperately ''please Luce, i-''.
''-laughed with an ex'' Lucy said sternly, ''i don't know if that is good girl-behavior''.
Ona kept quiet as Lucy walked towards her on the bed.
Lucy put the strap in her harness and hovered above Ona.
''that's basicly asking her to fuck you'' she wispered as she let her eyes roam the woman below her.
Ona put her hands on Lucy and chuckled ''Luce, you're crazy''.
''You know how i always say you would look perfect in everything?''.
''mhmm'' Ona grinned.
''Well this is awfull'' Lucy plucked at the shirt.
Ona tried to kiss Lucy but Lucy leant back just in time to dodge it.
''Turn around''.
Ona whined but quickly oblidged, this attitude was making her feel some things.
She was on all fours on the bed and without warning Lucy slapped her ass, resulting in a moan escaping her throat without her being able to surpres.
''Im so wet'' Ona whined as she felt herself dripping along her thighs, she looked over her shoulder to read Lucy's face.
''Don't look at me'' Lucy ordered, ''your pretty face doesn't suit this revolting shirt''.
She leaned against Ona to hold her face before she could turn, and gave her a kiss ''you are beautiful'' she said and softly kissed her lips.
When she released Ona's face and let her hand slide over the number '19' she huffed out some air.
''But you should be happy i have a fake cock'' Lucy grumbled, ''cus i could never get a hard-on like this''.
Ona whimpered.
A cracking sound and a moan filled the room.
Lucy watched the flesh of Ona's as jiggle and groped the skin when it turned red.
''Who does this ass belong to?''
Ona groaned ''you''.
Lucy rubbed the tip of her rubber cock along Ona's wetness.
The Catalan's breath hitched in her throat ''Luce'' she chocked out.
Another time Lucy's hand found it's way to Ona's behind with great force.
''Agh'' Ona groaned, ''please Luce''.
Lucy grabbed Ona by her hips and guided her to grind against her.
''please''.
With one hand Lucy reached around for the smaller womans' centre.
With two fingers she traced her lips and collected some wetness before circling her clit.
''Fuck'' Lucy breathed out, ''so wet''.
She had problems with circling one spot at how wet Ona was, her fingers slipping away.
''Who are you so wet for?'' Lucy asked, talking in Ona's ear.
''You Lucy! you''. Ona practically cried out.
With that Lucy carefully slid the strap inside in one fluent movement.
''Merda'' (fuck) Ona moaned as her head slumped to her chest.
Lucy picked up a rhythm that she knew would drive Ona crazy, perfect for building the tension inside her quickly.
But after a few moments Lucy fastened her pace, not able to contain herself she fucked Ona hard and deep, the sight of the fabric around Ona fueling her anger.
She gave her another spanking to 'punish' Ona for wearing the shirt, but she knew it wasn't actually a punishment for Ona, which was confirmed by the filthy moan she let out.
''I'm coming'' Ona cried out as she gripped the sheets with clenched fists.
''Shit, already?'', Lucy groaned and kept thrusting.
''Lucí'' Ona said as her arch deepened.
''Fuck, come for me Ona'' Lucy said as her grip on Ona thightend.
With a loud cry Ona came.
Lucy slowly rode out her orgasm and released her grip on the girl, causing her to flop down on the bed.
The English woman shuffeld and took the strap out of the harness and layed it on the bed besides them, figuring the sheets were ruined anyways.
Lucy pulled Ona around by her shirt.
Ona looked at her with hooded eyes, wearing a content expression from her post-orgasmic bliss.
Lucy smiled, ''hi beautiful''.
Ona grinned as she took Lucy's hands, ''thought you hated it''.
Lucy scrunched her face ''the shirt; yes.. you; no''.
The Catalan smiled, ''i'll take it off'' she said as she sat up.
She stopped as she noticed reticence on Lucy's face.
''What?''.
A smile tugged on Lucy's mouth, ''i'm debating sending her a picture''.
'''Lucy!''. Ona punched her girlfriend.
She snapped out of her dream and redirected her gaze from the shirt to Ona's face. She shook her head quickly, ''sorry, i don't know why i said that''.
Ona chuckled, slapping a hand on her forhead ''jealousy''.
''I don't want her to see that pretty little fucked out face of yours''.
Ona chuckled and held her arms up, ''pull this off, we're throwing it away''.
''I'll sell it for you'' Lucy grinned, ''you didn't do all this effort for nothing, did you?''.
Lucy helped her out of the shirt and threw it so far it landed in the hallway.
''Well, that's gone'' Ona chuckled at the unreasonable attitude Lucy had, and tugged on Lucy's sportsbra ''this can go too''.
Lucy quickly took it off and got on top of Ona.
''Did i go to far?''.
''No''.
Lucy tilted her head questioning.
''I'm sure, it was hot actually, a little gross, but hot''.
''Gross?''.
''Yeah, stinky shirt'' Ona said with a disgusted face, making Lucy chuckle.
''Oh and'' Lucy said as she traced her hands along Ona's skin, ''as much as i hate it, you did look beautiful''.
Ona smirked, ''i thought the things you said were really hot'', ''i am already thinking about who's shirt i'll trade next''.
Lucy narrowed her eyes and shook her head, ''ohh you're bad''.
''Sí, soy fatal'' (i'm a baddie) Ona joked chuckling.
''Que?'' Lucy said, thinking Ona just called herself terrible.
''In spanish we call someone that's unreasonably hot, fatal, it means they're bad but it is like slang'' Ona explained, ''a funny joke, because you called me bad''.
''I get that now'' Lucy laughed, ''that's funny actually, in English you can also say someone is a baddie, same thing''.
''Really?''.
''Sí'' Lucy said, ''god, i will miss our language talks''.
''We call every day'' Ona said, frowning.
Lucy looked at her with a pouty face ''but you don't want to talk to me''.
''Luceee'' Ona dropped her head on the pillow ''I had a dinner!!'' she called out snickering.
''I love when you call out my name'' Lucy said as she ran her hands along Ona's thighs.
Ona looked up with a smirk, ''I love when you make me call out your name''.
''I think I forgot what you taste like'' Lucy said as she crawled on top of Ona.
..
-----
The end, not theirs.
-Keep an eye out for Feli's shirt on Ebay 😂
Feel free to give me feedback/tips (anonymously) but in a kind way is the most appreciated xx
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ind1g3n0us-lev1t3 · 11 months ago
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@elenajones23 first of all, who are you, a non Jew to lecture me about what my religion does or doesn’t allow? Who are you to tell me, as someone who doesn't practice the same religion, that I can or cannot do things?
The Torah isn’t a simple set of guidelines and commands, it’s far more complex than that. It has different interpritations, so saying the torah doesn't allow it is blatantly false. The name "Zion" (Promised land) is mentioned 154 times.
“It isn’t your land and it never was your land” bullshit.
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We absolutely do have a land, if we don't, then why do we have holy sights in Jerusalem? Why are names like "Jaffa" and "Haifa" Hebrew?
The land of Israel is where my ancestors came from, it is where they lived, it is where they had a connection to, and it is where they suffered under the romans and were exiled.
We were never welcomed in Europe, we were never welcomed in the rest of the middle east.
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These are ancient scrolls called the "Dead sea scrolls" which are a set of ancient Jewish writings dating from the 3rd century BCE.
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This is all of what remains of our ancient temple, this is what it once was:
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The first temple is Solomon's temple, the second one is Herod's temple, which was destroyed in 70CE by the romans. centuries later, the Muslim caliphates built the Al Aqsa mosque which was built on top of our temple mount. Today, the west wall is all we have left of this historic holy place.
The name "Palestine" was given to the land of Israel by roman colonisers who exiled most of us from the land of Israel, took many of us slaves, and scattered everyone else through western Europe (Some moved further east).
Now about the Nazis = Zionist argument. The Nazis originally made a deal with German Zionist Jews (The Haavara agreement) to bring about a mass migration from Germany to Israel, it should be mentioned that this was because Hitler and the Nazis wanted a Jew-Free Europe, not because the Nazis supported Zionism.
This deal was criticized by both Nazis and Zionists. Zionist criticised it because it made a deal with the devil, and the Nazis criticised it because it went against their philosophy.
The Nazis were extremely antizionist, the belief that they were Zionists is soviet cold war propaganda to demonise the state of Israel and the broader Jewish community. They believed that Jews were biologically incapable of running their own state and were too inferior. Hitler had a "Palestinian" friend (Amin al-Husseini) who campaigned in Berlin, fought for a Palestinian state, and even CONTRIBUTED TO THE HOLOCAUST. They also lead a boycott of Jewish businesses in "Palestine".
So, you're wrong. So very very wrong. You can try to lecture me about the history of my own people and religion all you want, but you're wrong.
Please, kindly fuck off and read a history book. Please attend a Synagogue service and learn more about our religion before you come spewing false bullshit about it.
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perfectlyvalid49 · 11 months ago
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Today is January 27th, which is International Holocaust Remembrance Day, and I'd like to get some stuff off my chest.
First, I'd like to take a minute to point out that it is not Yom HaShoah, which is the day Israel (and by extension large portions of the Jewish diaspora population) uses as Holocaust Remembrance day. Yom HaShoah is on the 27th of Nisan, a date that was selected to commemorate the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, centering Jewish resistance in our own story. That date was selected nearly five decades before the UN picked January 27th, which was selected to center our white saviors who came to liberate Auschwitz. This is utter bullshit. And no excuses for not being able to handle a moving date on the Gregorian calendar - April 19th would be the Gregorian equivalent, and it was not selected.
Having said that, given how many infographics I've seen over the last four months about how people are increasingly denying or doubting the Holocaust, I figure any day that acknowledges it is a good thing, so yeah, let's take two days to remember. I think it's worth it.
So given that this is the Holocaust Remembrance Day that centers our goyishe friends, let's talk about how our goyishe friends should observe the day.
1. It is likely that you never learned a lot of details about the Holocaust. Holocaust education usually boils down to, "and the Nazis put Jews in camps in order to kill them, and a lot of Jews were killed in gas chambers, and about 6 million died in all." Go learn some details. Read or watch an account from a survivor.  Learn about the medical experiments, or the death marches. Learn some details about what the gas chambers were actually like. Try to understand the horror. Learn about the SS St. Louis or the Evian conference in 1938 where almost every country on Earth decided it was better to let the Jews die in Germany than to allow them into their own countries.
2. On that note, take the time to understand that anti-semitism neither began nor ended with the Nazis, and that even the "good guys" were incredibly antisemitic.Try to recognize that the antisemitism that was present where you live right now in the 1930s didn't just disappear, it just went into hiding. Think about where it might be hiding now.
Basically, because this is the Holocaust Remembrance Day for the goyim, I want to focus our remembrance of what happened on the goyim. What did they do? What could they have done to help? Why didn't they? We can come back in May for more Jewish focused learning, but the Holocaust could not have happened without A LOT of willing goyim, and I think we should spend the day remembering them and their actions.
And as a side note: if you happen to read this and you've chosen to spend the day engaging in Holocaust denial or Holocaust inversion, then know that my hope for you is that something happens in your life to teach you empathy and basic human decency. And I hope it isn't pleasant for you.
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