#gerards voice on it is just ugh

[m1lkywaymikey]

Everytime disenchanted plays I feel like ive been punched in the fucking chest ITS SO SAD UGHH

[a-pigeons-soliloquy]

will i never learn my lesson not to listen to mcr past like 6pm,,,,,,,, why am i like this

[onestormeynight]

The Twins Go Out

Nellie, despite all the odds, had made a friend that was not related to her. She shared a poetry class with a girl named Fatima who shared a love of Poe with her. Not a shallow love like her class mates who could only quote the Raven or Annabelle Lee, but a real fan.

"No, he's for sure the Grandfather of emo," Fatima said. "And Gerard Way is the Father of emo. That's the hierarchy."

"I couldn't agree more," Nellie said. "Sad and scared voices are valid, too. Even if people want us to stay quiet." She screwed up her face and went into a mocking falsetto. "Why don't you write something happy for once?"

Fatima rolled her eyes. "Ugh. Because not all of us are happy, Chad. Sorry not sorry that I make you uncomfortable."

"Honestly, we should make them more uncomfortable. They underestimate our powers."

"I can make any conversation weird if you give me enough time."

"Are you sure you're not my twin?"

At the top of the lighthouse, Ida had snuck away with Pierce for a quiet moment. They were still in high school, still focused on getting great careers out of high school, ambitions high. Nothing could get in the way.

But, every once in a blue moon, they indulged in their horomones.

"Have I ever told you how much I like your hair?" Ida said. "It's really cool."

"Cool, huh?"

"Quite."

"Is that the best you got?"

Ida held his gaze for a moment before looking at every inch of him, ferocious jawline to his winter boots and back. She did it slow, savoring the way his breath caught a little with her change in demeanor. When she met his eyes again, his cheeks were pink.

"I know you're thirsty," she whispered. "And, one day, I'm going to more than quench that thirst; I'm going to drown you in me."

Pierce was left speechless. Ida winked at him and then ran down the stairs, her confidence fading.

What in the hell was that, Ida?! That was downright filthy...

"No you didn't," Nellie whispered. "You did not say that."

"I did."

"I....how are you going to look at him again?"

"I am simply going to pretend I didn't say it. Didn't happen."

"But it did. You said you were going to drown him with your..."

"Gahh, Grumpy, please, I can't bear to hear it out loud again."

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID IT!"

Ida frantically shushed her laughing sister.

"I do like him, though," Ida finally said.

"Clearly. Just date him."

Ida shook her head. "No. I don't want to be distracted. I think about Grandma and what she could have done if she hadn't had Mom as a teen."

"She still did a lot, Ida."

"But think of what she could have done."

"Dating doesn't mean copulation, you know. You could just not do that part."

"Not until I get the job I want. Then..."

"You're going to climb him like a sequoia tree?"

"I'll tap that tree until it's dry, honestly."

"YOU ARE SO GROSS!"

((prev)) ((next))

[lovessidney]

Hey syd hiii!!!ugh mm I was wondering if you can please make a Gerard way x reader she/her fanfic where Gerard and her are both in mcr and they are fwb but she has another boy (you can choose the name) that she met in school that still thinks she’s in love with him until one day she sends him a live picture of Gerard and her kissing and hugging super touchy and he gets jealous and tries to always be around her and protect her but she’s in love with Gerard and they fight over her and their always back stage arguing bc Gerard and her are just so kissy on stage thank you lovely (I absolutely adore you and your work I’m so sorry if this is Long)also can you can make it smut go FERAL!!!

Life on the murder scene

Please note that this explicit story was written by an adult, for adults. If you are under the age of 18, please do not interact.

Trigger warning: Violence, blood.

Pairing: Gerard Way x fem!Reader

Pronouns: she/her (anatomy: AFAB.)

Requested by: the sweetest, loveliest anon.

Summary: (Y/n) is the drummer of My Chemical Romance, and has an unfortunate crush on Gerard. They are also in a friends-with-benefits kind of situatonship. An old fling of (y/n)s come to visit them on tour, and everything gets really ugly before it can turn pretty again.

A/n: This request meant so much to me, it was so sweet. And I also think it’s the first time ever I’ve been called by the nickname Syd, it kinda made me tear up tbh. Sidney is not my rea” name, but it’s what I would prefer to be called irl too, so that was really special to me. Sorry for rambling, let me get back to business. I altered the storyline slightly, as I’m not so good with long-form (as in playing out over a longer period of time) content. I hope it’s still okay though anon. Thank you so much for requesting it.

The drums thundered beneath (y/n)s feet as she hammered away at the kit. Her sticks blurred as they danced between snare and cymbals, keeping the beat alive. The stage lights blazed down on her, casting her in a fiery glow, and the roar of the crowd filled her ears. This was their hometown, and the crowd had never been wilder. They'd never sounded better. The energy was crazy. The audience pulsed with every note, their bodies swaying, their voices raised. She was in her element, her body thrumming with adrenaline and dopamine, every beat of her heart in sync with the music. This was what she lived for, this connection with the crowd, this ecstasy of sound. But she wasn't just watching the crowd. She was watching Gerard. They were on fire tonight, moving across the stage in pure frenzy, their voice soaring above the instruments. She and Gerard had a friends-with-benefits thing going on, and watching them move like this made her go absolutely crazy. Gerard caught her eye, and for a moment, they were locked in a shared intensity. They both knew what this meant, this feeling of being alive, of being in the moment, of being together on stage. The crowd was just a blur now, a background of noise, as they connected through the music.

She knew she shouldn't be doing this, getting involved with someone in the band. It was risky, and it could mess things up. But she couldn't help it. She was in love with Gerard, and every time they played together, she felt it more intensely. They didn't know it, of course, and she didn't dare tell them. She didn't want to ruin what they had. So she focused on the music. She poured all her energy into the drumming, trying to drown out her feelings, trying to stay in the moment. But it was hard. Every time Gerard came close, every time they brushed against her, every time their voice filled her ears, her heart skipped a beat. She couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to be with them, really be with them, not just in this awkward friends-with-benefits limbo.

The last song of the night ended, and the crowd exploded into applause. Gerard was grinning, their eyes bright with the thrill of the moment. She’d never seen someone look so beautiful. (Y/n) felt the rush of adrenaline and excitement course through her body, and she couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. She quickly got up from behind her drum kit and joined the rest of the band at the front of the stage. As they stood there, basking in the glow of the crowd's adoration, Gerard put their arm around (y/n)'s waist. She felt a jolt of electricity shoot through her body, her heart racing as she tried to keep her composure. She had been in love with Gerard for so long, and a little gesture like this only made her feelings for them grow stronger.

Suddenly, without warning, Gerard turned towards her and pulled her into a passionate kiss. (Y/n)s body trembled as she responded to the kiss, the heat and intensity of the moment taking over all of her senses. She could feel Gerard's breath hot on her face, their lips moving against hers with an almost desperate urgency. (Y/n) was instantly lost in the moment, the energy of the concert pulsing through her veins as she kissed Gerard back with equal passion. Their bodies pressed together, their tongues exploring each other's mouths with abandon. She could feel the heat of the stage lights on her skin, the sound of the crowd fading into the background as all she could focus on was the feel of Gerard's lips on hers. 

The crowd roared even louder, cheering them on as they shared their moment of passion. This wasn't the first time this had happened, but each time it felt just as electric as the last. It was something about the adrenaline and passion that Gerard couldn’t let out in any other way. She was lost in the moment, in the rush of the music and the heat of the kiss. Eventually, the kiss came to an end, and Gerard pulled away, their eyes still locked on hers. (Y/n) was left breathless, her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to catch her breath. She knew that this was something that could never be replicated, something that could only happen in the heat of the moment on stage.

Eventually the band waved goodbye to the crowd before making their way of off stage. (Y/n)s mind was racing, her heart pounding as she tried to make sense of what had just happened, how to feel about all of it. She knew that she was in way too deep with Gerard, that her feelings for them went way beyond just a physical attraction. As they made their way backstage, the rest of the band congratulated each other on a successful show, but (y/n) couldn't focus on anything other than Gerard. She was lost in her thoughts, wondering if they could ever become something more than just this friends-with-benefits arrangement, these random sparks of passion. But for now, she pushed those thoughts aside and just enjoyed the afterglow of the concert, reveling in the adrenaline and passion that still flowed through her body. She knew that she was meant to be on stage, and that nothing else could ever compare to the feeling of being in the moment, of sharing that energy with the crowd, and of sharing that passion for music with the rest of the band.

The day after the gig, (y/n) was feeling a mix of exhaustion and euphoria. She sat in bed, scrolling through MySpace and looking at pictures that fans had taken at the show. As she lazily scrolled through the pictures, her eyes came to rest on a series of shots of her and Gerard making out at the end of the concert. In one particular shot, Gerard was kissing her neck, and (y/n)'s heart skipped a beat at the sight of it. There was something about being with Gerard that made her feel alive in a way that nothing else did. She knew that the kiss was just out of passion and adrenaline, nothing more. Still she couldn't help but feel happy whenever they were together. She chuckled to herself as she closed her laptop and got ready for another day of rehearsals. The tour was starting the day after that, and she knew that they had to be on their A-game if they wanted to make it a success.

(Y/n) sat outside rehearsals with Mikey, looking at her ringing phone. It was Ethan. She sighed deeply. She had really been trying to avoid Ethan. More so since joining the band and specifically since getting to know Gerard. Ethan had been a fling back in school, and it had ended poorly. At least on her end. They hadn’t been in a relationship, so theoretically he hadn’t been cheating while he was sleeping around with half their school but it still felt like a betrayal. She really had had feelings for him once. Those feelings was since long gone though, and now she just wanted to avoid him. She hadn’t really told him that she knew what he’d been up to, rather she’d just tried to cut him off, just ghost him. It wasn’t going that well though. He wasn’t really getting the signals. The phone kept on ringing, and she kept on staring at it. She was sitting outside, taking a break from rehearsals with Mikey. He chuckled at the ringing phone. “You’re sure you shouldn’t take that? It seems like he won’t give up” he asked. Mikey knew part of the story about Ethan, but not the part of why (y/n) wanted to cut contact with him; since she was now interested in Gerard, the charismatic singer of the band and also Mikeys sibling. (Y/n) sighed deeply and picked up the phone. “Okay, fine. I’ll see you back inside then?”

She walked a bit further, away from the bench where Mikey was sitting. She took a deep breath and answered the call. “(Y/n)! Hi!” Ethans voice enthusiastically greeted her. Why was he so chipper, she thought. “Hi Ethan” she answered, a bit more lukewarm in tone. “I’ve been trying to reach you forever. Are you too busy for me now that you have a band and success?” He teased. She frowned, this was really the least person she wanted to have a conversation with and she wished once again that she just had the guts to confront him, so he’d back off once and for all. “It’s been a hectic time lately, we had a gig here at home yesterday, and today is final day of rehearsals for the tour” (y/n) answered, giving as good of an excuse as she could. It wasn’t a lie. They’d been busy. Their second record had just been released, and they’d done lots of PR for it, as well as planning for the upcoming tour. Ethan wouldn’t get that though. He’d never really been supportive of her as a musician, and had always just seen her drumming as a ‘quirky hobby’. In hindsight, (y/n) really didn’t understand what she ever saw in him. Sure, he was good looking, but she couldn’t think of much more. “I saw the pictures on MySpace,” Ethan said, and (y/n) immediately understood which pictures this might be. She sighed internally, and Ethan kept on talking. “I thought maybe I could come see one of your gigs?” Ethan asked. (Y/n)s jaw almost dropped to the ground. Really? Was now the time to be supportive? She mentally cursed herself for not having more of a backbone to tell him off. Never seeing him again would’ve been too soon for her liking. “Are you sure that’s your type of thing? You never used to like to hear me play when we were together back then” she asked, trying to keep her tone as neutral as possible. “Come on (y/n)! I used to love hearing you play and sing.” That was just a blatant lie, she though immediately. “Uh, yeah, I guess you could come see us the in a few days, if you really want.” Maybe she could end whatever it still was they had while Ethan was visiting, she thought to herself.

She returned back to the bench where Mikey was still sitting, drinking a coke. “Mikey, why the hell was I born with absolutely no fucking backbone?” she asked him. Mikey was a close friend at this point, and he always gave her good advice, whatever the matter was. He chuckled and took another sip of coke. “What happened? It can’t possibly be that bad (y/n)” he said with a friendly smile. (Y/n) sighed deeply. “Ethan is coming out to one of our gigs. I just couldn’t say no” she explained. “Okay. That’s actually pretty bad” he said with a chuckle. “You don’t need him anymore (y/n). I get that it’s hard to just cut someone off like that, but I think it’d be for the best.” (Y/n) smiled at him. He always understood. “I know, I know. I’m going to tell him when he comes to see us. Get him out for good”.

They headed back inside where Gerard, Ray and Frank were waiting for them and continued rehearsing. They all wanted to sound their best this tour. It was something Ray had said in an interview, about wanting the crowd to feel like “they’d just been fucked” when they left a gig. They’d all taken it to heart, and more than anything they wanted to create a lasting impression on the people that actually came out to see them. Soon, afternoon came to evening and the band members began dropping off. Then, at last, there was just (y/n) and Gerard left. As soon as Frank, the last of the three other members, had left the room the whole atmosphere changed. The way Gerard looked at her went from careful glances when the rest of the band was present to something more like a a hunger now. For a moment (y/n) tried to pretend not to notice the way Gerard looked at her, playing along to a backing track of Helena and focusing on getting emotion into the beat of the song. Gerard sat on the sofa, just staring. Eventually the song came to an end and (y/n) had to remove her headphones and meet Gerards gaze. 

“What?” (Y/n) asked, despite knowing exactly what was on Gerards mind. It wasn’t the first time they were looking at her like this after all. "God, you're so talented," Gerard said, while taking big strides across the room to (y/n). "I can't believe how lucky I am to have you as my drummer”. (Y/n) knew that Gerard appreciated her musical abilities, otherwise she wouldn’t have gotten the job, but it still meant a lot to hear them say it. “Thanks” she said, trying to keep herself together while she could feel her cheeks heating up. “You’re not all too bad yourself, you know.” Gerard smirked at her and stepped closer. "You know, there's something else I appreciate about you," they said, their voice now barely above a low whisper. (Y/n) looked up at them from her place behind the drums, knowing where this could possibly lead. She decided to play along. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” she asked, her pulse quickening with anticipation. Gerard leaned in, their breath hot against (y/n)s ear. "The way you play, the way you move, the way you look," they murmured. "It's all so fucking sexy”. (Y/n) gasped at the sudden intensity of Gerard's words. She had always known that their relationship was more about physical attraction than an emotional connection. She had always hoped for more. But hearing Gerard speak so explicitly about their desire was still hit her straight in the heart. Before (y/n) could respond, Gerard closed the gap between them and pressed their lips to (y/n)s. The kiss was rough and urgent, full of pent-up passion and longing. As they kissed, Gerard's hands roamed over (y/n)'s body, tracing the contours of her curves and sending shivers down her spine. (Y/n) moaned softly into the kiss, their own hands reaching up to tangle in Gerard's hair, pulling slightly at it, knowing just what they liked. The way they moaned into her mouth made her proud, for lack of a better word. Knowing that she did that to them did things to her as well. They broke apart to catch their breath. (Y/n) smiled up at Gerard. A smile with connotations not suitable for the world outside. But with just the two of them, alone, what did it matter? "What are we waiting for?" she asked, taking Gerards hand and pulling them towards the couch. "Let's make some music."

She softly pushed them down on the couch and straddled their hips. The whine they let out at the new found friction was enough for (y/n) to feel a surge of warmth trough her body. Gerard pulled her closer, and she more than willingly grinded down against them. With one of their arms around her waist and the other wrapping around her neck they nipped at her earlobe before moving lower, kissing and nipping down her neck. (Y/n) groaned at the sensation, letting out a disappointed whine as they stopped. “Oh, was that good?” Gerard asked, grinning up at her. (Y/n) nodded enthusiastically. She ran her fingers through Gerard's dark hair, enjoying the sensation of their soft locks beneath her fingertips. She grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled slightly, eliciting a moan from far down Gerards throat. They leaned in to kiss (y/n) again, their tongues tangling together with ease. Gerard slid further down, continued to kiss along (y/n)s neck and collarbone. (Y/n) felt heat rush to her face as Gerard nibbled and sucked at her exposed skin.

Their hips met each others as she ground down against Gerard, making her gasp as she felt the bulge in Gerards, now way to tight, jeans. They pulled away to catch their breath before returning to the task at hand. Gerard's hands slid down her sides, carefully sliding her skirt of her hips. She stood up to kick it off and Gerard continued their work with her top, undoing the buttons and pulling the garment up and over her head. Her underwear was likewise discarded, tossed haphazardly on the floor. Now completely naked, (y/n) let out a pleased sigh as Gerard continued to pleasure her with their kisses, keeping her distracted while they undressed themselves. (Y/n) kissed Gerard deeply, letting their tongues tangle together as their hands explored each others bodies.

When they finally broke apart again, Gerard was pushing their pants down their legs, kicking free with ease. (Y/n) watched in fascination as Gerard pushed down his underwear, revealing themselves fully to her. Their cock was already hard, leaking with precum. Gerard carefully laid (y/n) down on the sofa and spread her legs open, and pulled her closer, slowly moving their hands up her thigh and towards her pussy. She shuddered, excited by the growing need within her. Gerard's fingers brushed against her, tracing the edges of her cunt and gliding along them. (Y/n) groaned at the touch, her eyes closing as she bit her lip. Gerard's finger slipped inside of her, teasingly slow at first before gradually speeding up. (Y/n) sighed, leaning into Gerard's hand as they worked her over. Their thumb rubbed firmly over her clit, occasionally rubbing it in circles. Her breathing began to come faster, her heart beating wildly as she rode their hand.

"Fuck me," (y/n) whispered, breaking the silence. Gerard grinned at her, sliding one more finger into her with ease. "Mhm, everything in good time" Gerard replied, pulling out to rub her clit again. Gerard's tongue snaked out of their mouth, darting out to tease her nipple. (Y/n) bit her lip to try to keep from moaning, knowing that Gerard could tell she was close. Gerard's fingers sped up their pace, working her over with skill and familiarity. (Y/n) moaned helplessly, unable to concentrate on anything but the pleasure. Gerard rubbed her clit faster, while their tongue circled her nipple. “Oh God, Gerard," (y/n) whimpered, her voice shaking. "Please..." Her words were cut short as she came, going limp as she cried out. 

They slowed down their rhythm, giving (y/n) time to get used to the change before going back to work. Gerard licked at (y/n)s nipples, causing (y/n) to whimper in delight. Gerard kept up their fingering, working her over until she was begging for release once more. "Fuck!" (Y/n) cried out. She threw their head back, arching her back in bliss as her orgasm rocked her. Gerard curled their fingers inside of her, hitting just the spot she needed. They stopped, waiting to see if (y/n) was finished with them yet. (Y/n) looked up at them, her eyes hooded with lust. 

"Gerard, I need you to fuck me now. Or so help me god". Gerard smirked at her, but wanted nothing more than to obey. They quickly got atop of her. They kissed passionately, their hands roaming over each others bodies as they moved together. When Gerard entered, (y/n) gasped with pleasure. They started slow, but built up speed steadily. Soon they were both moving with abandon, Gerard thrusting deep into (y/n). They rolled over on the couch, (y/n) now on top. She knew Gerard loved it like this. They sounded so needy, like this was what they had been waiting for the whole day. She grabbed a fistful of their hair and tugged slightly as she ground her hips into them, picking up the pace as Gerards hips began stuttering. "That’s so fucking perfect" Gerard cried out, bucking his hips into (y/n), driving themselves deeper inside of her. ”That’s it” she encouraged Gerard. ”Come for me. I want to see you break.” And it wasn't long before Gerard could no longer hold back. Their legs shook uncontrollably, muscles tightening and hips desperately stuttering as the white hot pressure raced through their body. Gerard cried out, throwing their head back with an unholy moan as their orgasm hit them. They went completely limp as (y/n) stilled in their lap.

They stayed like that for just a moment. That moment meant everything to (y/n), just getting to be close to Gerard. She treasured those moments of closeness almost as much as the ones on stage. But she knew she couldn’t stay. Hastily, she got off their lap and gathered her clothes, quickly putting them on again. Gerard was still sitting on the couch, dazed. ”I have to get going Gee, but I’ll meet you here tomorrow at 11. That’s when the bus comes to pick us up, right?” She tried her best to sound casual, like her heart wasn’t aching from having to leave them. But the proverbial show had to go on.

The first couple of shows of the tour had been absolutely amazing, and (y/n) couldn’t wait to play again the upcoming evening. But first she had to deal with a day of Ethan. He had arrived in town earlier that day, and they were all supposed to meet up for lunch. (Y/n) dreaded it, and as they sat down to eat, she couldn't help but notice the way Ethan kept staring at her. He seemed to be trying to flirt with her, bringing up old memories and trying to make her laugh. It made (y/n) uncomfortable, and she while she really didn’t want him there, she couldn’t help to feel bad. Maybe he had the idea that something could still happen between them. She looked over at Gerard, who sat across from them, trying his best to be polite, but something wasn’t quite right. If (y/n) didn’t know any better she almost would’ve thought his mood could be summed up to jealousy. Gerard could see the way Ethan was looking at (y/n), and it made them feel uneasy. They tried to engage in the conversation, but Ethan seemed to ignore them, focusing all of his attention on (y/n). Eventually, (y/n) managed to make an excuse for them to leave the unpleasant situation at restaurant, realising they had soundcheck coming up.

During soundcheck, Ethan's presence was felt like a dark cloud hanging over them. He acted strangely, standing off to the side and barely answering when spoken to. Gerard could sense the tension between (y/n) and Ethan, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. After soundcheck, they all gathered backstage, waiting for the gig to start. Ethan was still there, hovering around (y/n) and trying to make conversation, and Gerard was beginning to worry. They knew part of (y/n) and Ethans history, and it made them nervous. Of course, they had no say in if (y/n) and Ethan got back together, but still, it would be heartbreaking. They were fed up with the way Ethan was acting, and he wanted to make sure that (y/n) knew how they felt about it, as they could see she was starting to look uncomfortable too.

Gerard was struggling to keep cool, their jealousy boiling just below the surface. It was an ugly, ugly emotion. Especially since they and (y/n) really wasn’t together. But still they couldn’t help but feel it. They tried to focus on the upcoming gig, but their thoughts kept drifting back to (y/n) and Ethan. They couldn't shake the feeling that Ethan was trying to win her back, and the thought made them feel sick to their stomach.

As they waited for their cue to go on stage, Gerard pulled (y/n) aside, away from Ethan's prying eyes. "I don't like the way he's acting around you," they said, their voice low and serious. "He's making me uncomfortable, and I don't want him to hurt your feelings again.” (Y/n) was taken aback by Gerard's concern. She could feel the tension between them, and it made her heart race. "I know," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I can handle him. I'm not going to let him ruin our night." Gerard looked at her for a moment, their eyes meeting. They wanted to say so much more, to tell her how they really felt, but they couldn't find the words. Instead, Gerard leaned in and kissed her, their lips meeting with passion. The kiss was electric, sending shivers down (y/n)'s spine. She could feel Gerard's arms around her, pulling her close. It was like nothing else mattered in that moment, just the two of them together. They finally broke apart and (y/n) looked at Gerard, absolutely perplexed. The whole situation was so unusual. ”For good luck” Gerard finally managed to say with a wink and a smile, before stepping out on stage.

As the band took to the stage, the crowd erupted into cheers and screams. The atmosphere was electric, and the band could feel it coursing through their veins. They played with a fierce energy, each member pouring their heart and soul into every note. Gerard, in particular, seemed to be on fire. They danced across the stage with a wild abandon, their movements more suggestive and provocative than ever before. Their eyes kept flicking back to where (y/n) sat behind the drums, and every time they made contact, a jolt of electricity seemed to pass between them.

Despite the incredible energy of the show, Gerard found that they couldn't fully focus on the music. Their mind kept drifting back to (y/n), to the way she looked behind the drums, to the way she screamed along to the lyrics as she played.

Finally, as the last song rang out, Gerard couldn't take it any longer. They strode across the stage, eyes fixed on (y/n), and pulled her to her feet. The crowd erupted into cheers and applause as Gerard pressed his lips to hers, his kiss filled with more passion and intensity than ever before. For a moment, they were lost in each other, the rest of the world falling away as their bodies pressed together. It was as though they were the only two people in the world, lost in a moment of pure passion and desire.

Finally, as the song came to an end, they pulled away from each other, their eyes locked in a fierce gaze. The crowd roared their approval, and (y/n) felt a thrill of excitement race through her body. This was what it was all about. The music, the passion, and the wild, unpredictable ride that came with it.

(Y/n) had seen the way Ethan had looked at her when she sat behind the drum kit. If someone would’ve asked her just over a year ago what she would do to make him look at her like that, she would’ve offered the world. Now, it felt wrong. It felt like Ethan was just here now because she’d ‘become someone’, like he thought what he’d done didn’t matter. It made her uncomfortable and she tried her best not to think about his presence and just focus on the music. Just making the gig count. What she hadn’t seen was the way he looked at her and Gerard when the were half way to making out at the end of the show. The look in Ethans eyes had been that of slight disgust, and somewhere in there, despise for Gerard.

On her way off stage (y/n) stopped to talk to her drum tech, just talking the set-up and some things that needed fine-tuning through in before the next gig. As she walked through the corridors she thought she could hear screaming. She shook her head, it was probably just the crowd hoping for another encore.

Gerard arrived backstage before any of the other members of the band. They were surprised to see Ethan there, with his arms crossed over his chest and pure anger in his eyes. ”You fucking disgust me” Ethan spat at Gerard as they entered the room. Gerard was still pumped up on adrenaline from the show, and the ecstasy flipped to anger much quicker than any of them expected. Gerard glared daggars at the man. ”What’s your bloody problem?” Gerard spat back. ”My problem is that you’re corrupting (y/n). The way you act on stage is repulsive, you’re dragging her down with you” Ethan answered, stepping closer to Gerard. They just stared at him for a moment. And when Gerard didn’t answer Ethan continued. ”(Y/n) used to be so good. Such a nice, sweet girl. Now she’s in the gutter with you.” Gerard was fine with people insulting them, they didn’t really care, but the moment Ethan took (y/n)s name in his mouth it was like something boiled over. 

They crossed the room in just a few strides and swung directly at Ethans face. It was so quick, and they were surprised at their own action. They weren’t one to get into fights typically, but if someone was worth fighting for, it was (y/n). The blow connected, but not enough to knock Ethan down. Ethan dodged backwards while trying to keep standing. Gerard kept swinging, but now that Ethan had his head in the game it was harder to hit. A moment of lost focus allowed Ethan to get a hit in. A hit straight over Gerards mouth, splitting their lip open. Gerard staggered backwards, but stayed on their feet. Ethan followed, ready for another round. Gerard knew they wouldn't last long if the fight went on, Ethan was both taller and stronger than them. "You don't get to speak about (y/n) like that" Gerard growled, shoving Ethan away. Ethan stumbled back several steps. "Yeah? Well she's going to regret leaving me if it’s you she’ll be stuck with" Ethan said before pushing Gerard to the ground and managing to pin them down. Gerard tried to twist free, but Ethan held them tight, pressing them against the floor. "I told you to leave her alone. And I'm not warning you again.” Ethan gritted out through clenched teeth. Gerard struggled hard, but couldn't get Ethan off. "Why should I listen to you? You're not even her boyfriend anymore, you blew that chance ages ago.” Ethan looked like he was about to punch Gerard again, and like this punch would be something other than the earlier ones. ”Well neither are you. You’re delusional if you think she’d ever want to be with someone like you” Ethan bit back.

And at the exact moment Gerard squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for a hit to the face they heard (y/n)s voice. ”Ethan! What the fuck is wrong with you?” she screamed at him. Both Gerard and Ethan was taken by surprise, and while Ethan couldn’t even begin to think of an excuse for the situation she’d found them in, (y/n) had more to say. ”Get off him right fucking now, you bastard” she yelled. ”But-” Ethan began, not quite sure where the sentence would go. ”But fucking nothing. You’re leaving right fucking now.” she spat angrily at him. ”So you’re really choosing them before me? (Y/n), are you sure about that?” he answered, voice almost mocking as he let Gerard go and stood up. (Y/n) looked at Ethan like he was absolutely insane. ”They are my best friend. They’re the world to me. You’re just an embarrassing history I can’t seem to shake. You’re leaving right fucking now and I never want to see you again. Do you understand?” (y/n) shouted at him, looking like she was about to punch him too. Angry tears were welling up in her eyes. Ethan stood still. ”I said now! Or I’m calling security”. Just a moment later security rushed through the door anyway, having been made aware of the racket. (Y/n) tried her best to calm down as she told them what had happened and directed them to escort Ethan of the premises. As soon as he was out the door she fell to her knees next to Gerard who was still laying on the floor.

”Gerard?” she asked, trying to get their attention. Gerard blinked slowly and looked up at (y/n). They saw she was crying and reached up a shaky hand to wipe a tear off her cheek. ”Don’t cry (y/n). It’s okay. Everything is okay. I’m fine, I promise” Gerard said softly and mustered up a smile, which immediately made them wince in pain. She pulled them into a hug and held them close for a long time.

Some of the personell at the venue had offered to take care of Gerard, but (y/n) had insisted on doing it herself. It was her fault that Gerard was in this state, and she’d be damned if she didn’t do her best to fix it. With a first aid kit in one hand and Gerard by the other they walked towards the bathroom. A bathroom where they, in any other situation, would probably have had sex right now. She carefully sat them down on the floor before turning to rummage through the first aid kit. She found what she was looking for. Cotton balls and some asol to clean the wounds, and plasters to cover them up. She squatted besides Gerards place on the floor. “What were you thinking, Gee? You could’ve gotten much worse hurt than this” (y/n) said, trying her best to conceal the genuine worry for them. Gerard smirked at her with a bloody lip. “He had it coming” was all they said. (Y/n) shook her head but smiled at Gerard. 

She got a cotton ball ready and held it up to their face. “Okay, are you ready? This might sting a bit” she warned them, as if they’d never had a wound cleaned before. She softly dabbed the cotton ball against their split lip. Gerards eyes screwed shut and they winced at the feeling. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” (y/n) said softly. She cleaned the wounds one after one before plastering them up. She looked at Gerard. Even like this, with a split lip and bruises beginning to form, they were absolutely stunning. “Okay Gee, you’re all fixed up”. Gerard smiled softly at (y/n). “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that you know” they said with a voice that told (y/n) they were grateful but somewhat ashamed about the whole situation. She was just about to stand up when Gerard grabbed her hand. They looked at her with big eyes. “Would you kiss me?” (Y/n) smiled at them, just slightly perplexed by the whole situation. But how could she ever say no to kissing Gerard. They were a dream. Her dream. She had never loved someone like she loved Gerard. She leaned in and pressed her lips to Gerards, softly and sweetly. The feeling between them was something unfamiliar, but Gerard responded eagerly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into their lap. After a moment, they pulled away, both breathless and smiling. "Feeling better?" (y/n) asked, grinning. "Definitely," Gerard replied, his eyes sparkling in a way that made (y/n)s heart skip a beat. (Y/n) grinned back at them. "Good. Now, what do you say we go find the rest of the band and have dinner?” Gerard nodded, still grinning. "Sounds perfect to me." 

The whole band walked through the streets, looking for some place to have dinner. They were all talking and laughing about the gig they’d just played. No one seemed to dare mention the fight afterwards, all of them talking around it like the elephant in the room. Until Frank decided not to. “I mean, it’s a shame you got your ass kicked, Gee. It really is. But I must say, I didn’t think you had it in you to throw a swing first like that.” The sentence piqued (y/n)s interest. Gerard had thrown the first swing. It didn’t quite make sense to her. Why would they do that? She decided not to take part in the conversation and instead turned to Ray to compliment him on the solos he’d played on stage. Ray always played amazing solos, and she made sure to tell him every single night. The two of them soon got lost in a conversation and she didn’t manage to hear the rest of what’d played out before the fight backstage.

After searching the streets for way too long they eventually stumbled upon a small bar with a neon sign that read "Food & Drinks". The place looked a little dingy, but the smell of cooking food wafting out of the kitchen window was enough to make their stomachs growl. The group walked in and took a table in the corner. They ordered drinks and food, chatting and laughing the whole time. Once they were all settled with food, they ordered a round of shots to celebrate the successful gig. The group lifted their glasses and cheered to the future of the band. Gerard was particularly excited and kept making jokes and laughing loudly. (Y/n) couldn't help but feel a warm, fuzzy feeling in their chest at seeing Gerard so happy, despite the situation backstage. As they sat there, the conversation focused in on the gig they just played. Frank started talking about how the crowd was electric and how their energy had been absolutely crazy. Ray chimed in, saying that it was the best they'd ever played as a band. Mikey agreed, nodding his head in enthusiasm. (Y/n) listened to them talk, a feeling of pride swelling in her chest. She hadn’t played with them for that long, just since before they started recording the second album, but she treasured every moment of it.

As the night wore on, the drinks started flowing a little more freely. The group got louder and rowdier, shouting and singing along to the music playing over the speakers. After a few more rounds of shots, Gerard was starting to get noticeably drunk, and seemed to have lost their good spirit. The alcohol had strengthened the despair they felt, rather than making them forget it. They kept swaying in their seat and slurring their words. (Y/n) was worried about them, but they insisted they were fine. They talked for a while longer, about everything and nothing at all. The rest of them laughed and joked around, enjoying each other's company. Gerard stumbled a bit as he got up from his seat to go to the bar, and (y/n) caught them before they fell. She looked at the rest of the band, who were all smiling and chuckling at Gerard's drunken antics, also too drunk to notice how sad Gerard seemed. "Come on, Gerard," (y/n) said, wrapping her arm around their waist to steady them. "Let's get you back to the hotel." Gerard leaned their head against her shoulder, their eyes half-closed. "Okay," they said with a soft voice. They said their goodbyes to the rest of the band that had decided to stay a bit longer, and made their way into the night.

As (y/n) and Gerard stumbled out of the bar and into the cool night air, (y/n) wrapped her arm tightly around Gerard's waist, trying to steady them as they walked. Gerard leaned heavily on her, their steps unsteady and their words slurred. "Thanks for taking care of me," Gerard said, their voice almost too quiet for (y/n) to make out. "Of course," (y/n) replied, her voice gentle. "I'm always here for you, Gee.” As they walked, the night grew quiet around them. The only sounds were their footsteps against the pavement and the occasional car passing by. They walked in silence for a few more minutes until (y/n) spoke up. "You seem awfully quiet, what’s on your mind?” she asked, her voice soft. Gerard was lost in thought, their mind consumed by worries about what Ethan had said. Gerard didn't want to burden (y/n) with their worries, but they just couldn't shake the feeling that she was too good for them. They shook their head, trying to clear the thoughts that was bringing them down. "It's nothing," they said finally. "Just thinking."

They arrived at the hotel, and (y/n) helped Gerard up the stairs and to his room. They stood outside Gerards door for a moment, both of them silent. "Thanks for tonight," Gerard said finally, their voice somber and with a bittersweet smile. "Anytime," (y/n) replied, smiling at them sweetly. Gerard was still lost in thought, mind consumed by doubts and fears. But then (y/n) spoke again, her voice warm. "You know, you're really quite handsome, even with a split lip," she said. Gerard smiled, feeling a warmth spreading through their chest. ”Handsome enough for you to come inside with me?” they said with a playful wink, regaining some composure and hope. (Y/n) didn’t say anything, she just leaned in and kissed Gerard softly on the lips. The kiss so was gentle at first, but quickly grew more passionate, both of them lost in the moment. Gerards lips were soft and warm against hers, and she could taste the alcohol on their tongue. Their arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close as they kissed. (Y/n) could feel the heat of their body against hers, and it made her feel alive. Their tongues danced together, the passion between them building with each passing moment. (Y/n) could feel her heart racing in her chest as Gerard's hand moved up to cup her cheek, deepening the kiss even further. She ran her fingers through their hair, feeling the soft strands slip through her fingers. The kiss was intoxicating, and (y/n) found herself lost in the moment. She pulled Gerard closer, as if closer was a thing to be possible, and for a few brief moments, all of Gerard's worries faded away, replaced by the warmth of (y/n)'s touch. They stood close together, foreheads pressed against each others while they tried to catch their breath. “Okay. Let’s get inside” (y/n) demanded, eyes dark with desire.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Gerards hands were all over (y/n)s body. They quickly pulled her jacket and t-shirt off, then stopping for just a moment to admire the sight. ”God, you’re so fucking gorgeous (y/n)” they said, panting, before closing the space between them again. They stumbled their way over to the bed and fell onto it, without ever breaking apart. Gerards coat and t-shirt got lost somewhere on the way. (Y/n) quickly got on top of Gerard and pinned their hands down on the bed over their head. They looked up at her, pupils blown wide with desire. 

She watched as his eyes tried to take in every inch of her naked skin, in slight disbelief. Gerard leaned up and kissed (y/n), pouring out everything they were feeling into the kiss. She let them keep that up for a moment before pushing them back down into the bed. Once they were flat on their back, (y/n) leaned in to kiss their neck. Gerard moaned softly as she sucked on a particularly sensitive spot on their neck and rolled her hips against theirs. ”Oh god (y/n). Please, more. That feels so good” they whined, barely keeping their thoughts straight. (Y/n) smiled down at them gently before pressing her lips down towards their chest. She licked each nipple, then took one into her mouth, sucking hard. Gerard let out a breathy moan and arched their back, gripping at the sheets around them. They were already hard from her working them over, but this made it so much hard to be patient. She pulled away and moved her free hand down their body. She rubbed their cock through their jeans at a agonisingly slow pace.

Gerard groaned as their hips bucked and their stomach tightened, straining against the fabric of their pants. (Y/n) smiled down at them, then turned her attention back to their cock. She slowly unbuttoned their pants, pulling them down to their ankles before tossing them aside along with the boxers underneath. She ran her fingers up and down their length, watching it twitch when she brushed across its sensitive tip. It throbbed and grew even harder under her touch. She looked down at Gerard, kissing their chest as she continued to stroke their cock. Gerard was breathing heavily, trying to get their hands free so that they could touch her.

”Please (y/n), I need to touch you. Please” Gerard begged her, their voice desperate. Her breath caught in her throat and she stopped stroking them, instead leaning down to kiss their lips softly, her tongue slipping between their lips with ease. They moaned deeply, trying to reach up to get more of her. She pulled away and stood up. Gerard eyes followed her as she unbuckled her belt and slid it through the loops of her jeans. Gerard's eyes widened as they watched her pull the zipper down, revealing her panties. She slid those down over her thighs along with the jeans. Gerard craned their neck, watching her strip. Their cock twitched and swelled even further under her stare. (Y/n) bit her lip, letting a satisfied smirk cross her face as she stepped out of her jeans and underwear. She kicked them away before standing in front of Gerard, naked.

She grinned down at Gerard as she dropped to her knees on the bed before them. They looked at her with wide, desperate eyes as (y/n) bent down towards their hard cock. She wrapped her hand around it and gave it a few slow strokes. Gerard groaned deeply, moving their hips up and down slightly in attempt to get more out of her touch. She smirked down at them, taking their cock into her mouth. (Y/n) sucked on it roughly, bobbing her head up and down. ”Fucking god. (Y/n), please. More.” They didn’t even know what they were begging for, they just knew that they wanted whatever she would give them. (Y/n) gave them a few more strokes before she pulled back up, looking up at Gerard with a devilish grin on her face. She licked her lips before leaning down again. She took their cock in until the tip hit her throat, then let go of it. Gerard cried out loudly as she worked up and down his shaft, her tongue sliding along the underside of their cock with every move. She looked up at Gerard, who had a look of pure ecstasy on his face.

She looked up to see their eyes meeting her own, their pupils blown wide open. They held her gaze as she sucked their dick, making sure to keep eye contact. Gerard was shaking on the bed, their hips jerking up and down, trying to get more from her. She hummed gently into their cock, their hips bucking as she bobbed her head faster. ”(Y/n), please. If you keep this up I’m not going to last” they gasped, trying to keep their hips still. She grinned mischievously and pulled off. Gerard groaned as (y/n) climbed back up, straddling them. She ran her hands down his chest and stomach, then leaned in to kiss them passionately. ”Are you ready?” she whispered in Gerards ear while positioning herself over their cock. They nodded quickly, with eyes screaming of desperation. She smiled down at them and lowered herself down. She moaned as she felt their cock slide deep inside her, stretching her tightness. She threw her head back and moaned loudly, and Gerard could’ve sworn they’d never heard a more beautiful sound in their life.

(Y/n) ground their hips against Gerard, then leaned forward as she began to bounce up and down. She looked down at Gerard, watching their expression. They were so beautiful. Their rosy cheeks, desperate eyes and mouth slightly agape. Gerard put their hands on her hips, helping her up and down their shaft. They closed their eyes, biting their lip to keep from crying out. The pressure was building, their body tensing up as their climax was rapidly approaching. (Y/n) knew exactly what they were feeling and slowed down to keep them right there on the edge. Gerard's grip tightened on her hips, but then immediately they let go, as if afraid they'd lose control and hurt her. But she just laughed and rocked her hips faster, causing them to let out a loud cry. (Y/n) rode them out, slow and steady, until Gerard couldn't take it anymore. He bucked up into her as she came down onto him, their bodies exploding together. (Y/n) threw her head back as the waves of her orgasm crashed through her. Her body relaxed as she came back down to earth, but Gerard was still trembling underneath her. (Y/n) slid off of them, just taking a moment to lay beside them in bed. But she knew she had to leave.

After just a moment she sat up, while Gerard laid still in bed. She looked for her clothes. Clothes that made a trail from the door to the bed. She sighed and reached for her panties to put them on before going after the rest of the clothes. Carefully she stood up, legs a little wobbly both from alcohol and sex. After collecting the rest of her clothes she sat down on the edge off the bed again, starting to put on her t-shirt. That’s when she felt Gerards hand on her hip. She turned to look at them and was surprised to see them look sad again, like the earlier effect of the alcohol had doubled down on them. In combination with the bandaged cuts and bruises they really looked miserable. 

She leaned over and caressed Gerards cheek. It didn’t count to the ordinary, but this wasn’t an ordinary situation either. “What’s wrong Gee?” She asked carefully, not quite knowing what to expect to hear. “Do you really have to go (y/n)?” Gerard asked with a small voice. She looked at them, perplexed. “No. Not really” she said, confused. “Do you want me to stay with you?” she then asked, just to clarify to herself that she’d understood Gerard correctly. They smiled a melancholic smile and nodded. (Y/n) didn’t quite know how to handle this new situation. Sure, she’d seen Gerard sad before, but not in a situation like this. But if they really wanted her to stay, then of course she’d stay. She took off her shirt again and got back under the blanket. Carefully she took Gerard into her arms. They crawled close and rested their head on her chest while she softly stroked their hair. “What’s the matter honey?” she asked softly, daring a term of endearment. “I just want you to stay. I always want you to stay afterwards” Gerard murmured into her chest. She kissed their black mop of hair softly. “You could’ve just told me”. Gerard sighed deeply. “I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to make things weird between us, if you didn’t feel the same” they explained after a moment of silence. They looked up at her, half expecting a negative reaction, aversion. Instead they saw (y/n) smiling down at them. “I’ve always wanted to stay, Gee. I just didn’t know how to tell you” she said, echoing their words back to them. They just looked at each other for a moment before Gerards face broke up into a smile. “Really?” they asked, not quite believing what they were hearing. She smiled back at them. “Really, Gee. I promise.”

Gerard kissed her softly. Not like they usually kissed. Not with the fever or hunger that she was used to. This was something else, something sweet and almost shy, like the kiss they’d shared when she’d taken care of Gerard after the fight. “I really adore you, you know. I’ve always adored you, and the whole situation with Ethan just made me so jealous. I just have to let you know how I feel, even if you don’t feel the same” Gerard whispered softly in her ear. It made her heart skip a beat, those were the words she had waited for for so long. She looked at them, slowly putting the puzzle pieces together. “Was that why you got into that fight with him before?” she asked, carefully. Gerard nodded slightly. “Yeah, he said some really idiotic things about you. About us too, I guess” they confessed. (Y/n) looked at Gerard, slightly confused. ”He said that I’m ruining you and that you’re too good for me. And I guess he’s right. You are too good for me. Too good to be true” Gerard mumbled, a lonesome tear rolling down their cheek. (Y/n) wiped the tear off their face. ”Oh, sweetheart. Don’t cry. It’s okay, everything’s okay” she whispered softly in Gerards ear. They looked up at (y/n), at her soft, sweet smile. More tears started coming, their bottom lip trembling. She pulled them closer and held them tight. ”Gee, honey, there’s no place I’d rather be, no one I’d rather be and no one I’d rather be with than you” she whispered calmingly while drying off more tears. She kissed their forehead, over and over again, until the tears seemed to have stop. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine” she sang softly while wiping away their tears. “You make me happy, when skies are gray” she continued, whispering in their ear. Gerard looked up at her with big eyes. “You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.”

Gerard snuggled up closer to (y/n), enjoying the warmth and comfort of her embrace. They breathed in sync, feeling the rise and fall of each other's chest. (Y/n) softly stroked Gerard's hair, running her fingers through the messy locks. They lay like that for a while, just basking in the afterglow of their intimate moment. (Y/n) could feel the tension in Gerard's body slowly dissipating, as they relaxed more and more into her arms. Eventually, (y/n) spoke up, breaking the peaceful silence between them. "I'm going to get you a glass of water, okay?" she whispered. Gerard groaned slightly, not wanting to move ever again. "Do I have to?" they mumbled, burying their face into (y/n)'s neck. (Y/n) chuckled softly. "Yes, you do. You'll get a headache otherwise, and we don't want that, do we?" Gerard sighed and reluctantly untangled themselves from (y/n)'s embrace. They sat up and watched as (y/n) got out of bed, stretching her limbs before padding over to the kitchenette to get a glass of water. As (y/n) came back to bed, Gerard sat up and took the glass from her, taking a few sips before setting it down on the nightstand. They snuggled back up to (y/n), sighing contentedly as they rested their head on her chest once more.

They lay there for a while longer, talking softly about everything and nothing in particular. Eventually, exhaustion caught up with them, and they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, for the first time ever.

Thank you for reading! And applauds if you made it to the end. I hope you enjoyed whatever this was, and if you ever want to send me a request, my inbox is always open!

[lemoncrushh]

Cubicle // 2) Little Too Early

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 1256

Wednesday // Harry

I finally found out where Roni's desk is. She works for that short, plump woman in the sales department. I don't recall her name, and I'm not even sure I ever learned it. But somehow, she knows me because almost every morning when I pull into the parking lot, she's getting out of her car and she waves and says, "Good morning, Harry." I always politely nod and say good morning back. Today, however, she actually asked me for a favor.

"Harry," she called. "Would you mind carrying this box for me?"

I walked over to her car and pulled a large box out of her back seat. I followed her to her desk as she carried another smaller box. I assumed they were some sort of office supplies, but I didn't ask. Frankly, I didn't give a shit. I had been running late this morning and didn't have time to fuel myself with caffeine. I was practically a walking zombie. I laid the box down on the floor next to her desk where she told me to.

"Good morning, Roni," I heard her say.

The sound of her name perked me up more than any coffee or tea would. I jerked my head around to see Roni removing her purse from her shoulder and placing it under her desk.

"Morning," she replied with a yawn. With her back still to me, she stretched her arms up over her head, then brought them back down to adjust her dress. It was only then that she finally turned around and saw me.

"Oh, hi Harry," she greeted in a raspy morning voice. The kind of voice I imagine her using when we've just awoken in bed together.

"Hi," I beamed.

"Harry was kind enough to help me with these boxes," Sales Lady announced, interrupting our exchange of flirtatious gazes.

"How very gentlemanly of him," Roni said to her boss although she was looking right at me. Then without hesitation, she addressed me again. "Harry, I'm going to grab some coffee in the break room. Care to join me?"

"I was headed that way myself," I nodded.

Roni turned on her heels and I followed her, staring at her ass the entire way. Sometimes the thoughts that go through my head shock even me. But all I could think about as we reached the break room was having her bent over the table while I fucked her from behind.

"You okay?" I heard Roni say, shaking me from my sexual thoughts.

I realized I was biting my bottom lip, and I actually felt myself blush. If only she could read my mind. I let out a low chuckle.

"Yeah, 'm fine. Just tired."

"Ugh, me too," she agreed as she took a mug down from the cupboard. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"No?" I grabbed my own mug and a tea bag.

I heard her sigh so loudly, it was almost a moan. God damn it, I want to make her moan.

"Do you ever have things on your mind when you go to bed, and even though you're extremely tired, you can't turn off your brain? So, these thoughts just keep manifesting and before you know it, it's morning?"

My stomach flipped at the idea that she was lying in bed thinking about me. Wishful thinking, I know. But the idea turned me on.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

As she waited for her coffee to brew, I made my tea and sat down at the table. I knew I should be at my desk, getting started on the reports I never finished yesterday, but I'd much rather be here with her.

"So what are you working on today?" Roni asked when she'd sat down next to me.

"Oh, I have some re—" I started, but Roni stopped me.

"No," she said, holding up her hand. "Never mind. Let's not talk about work."

"Um...okay."

"Let's talk about something else. How old are you?"

I felt the blood rush to my face again. "Nineteen."

Roni almost spit out her coffee. "Oh my God."

A trifle embarrassed, I just stared at her as she closed her eyes and placed her hand over her heart. I wondered if she thought me too young, but I was afraid to ask.

"Something wrong, Miss Graver?"

I looked up to see Gerard Holcomb, one of the lead salesmen and a complete dick standing in the doorway. I fucking hate that guy. He thinks his shit don't stink, and he's always making people give him high fives when he's reached a goal or something.

"No," Roni stifled a giggle. "I'm okay."

"Mr. Styles isn't giving you a hard time, is he?"

The fuck?

"No, no, not at all," Roni smiled. "He's a perfect sweetheart." Then she surprised me by grabbing my thigh under the table. I almost came in my pants.

Gerard grunted at the term of endearment which only heightened my pleasure. As he moved over to the counter to pour a cup of coffee, I turned my attention back to Roni.

"So are you going to tell me how old you are?"

She raised an eyebrow as she lifted her mug.

"A lady never reveals her age, Harry. Don't you know that?"

I stared at her incredulously, waiting perhaps for a different response. But she gave none. She stood up and pushed in her chair.

"I should get to work," she smirked. "See you around, Harry."

I felt her fingertips lightly brush my back as she walked around me. Then when she reached the doorway, with her hand placed on the beam, she turned and gave me one last smile. It took all the restraint I had not to grab her and kiss her right there. Maybe if Gerard hadn't been there... eh who the fuck am I kidding? I'm a pussy.

When I finally got to my cubicle, I had a stack of papers on my desk and loads of emails in which to reply. I slumped into my chair and got to work. When I'd just about reached the end of my emails, I noticed a new one pop up. The "from" name said Graver, Veronica. The subject merely said FYI. I clicked on it to read one small line.

Who the heck says I'm a lady? I'm 27. :)

Roni

Nineteen. Nineteen! Okay, I knew he was young. But I guess actually hearing it made me feel...old. I'm not old.

When Gerard appeared in the doorway, I wanted to gag. I've only been here two days and I can already tell he's a creep. Every time I bring something to him at his desk, he gives me the up and down, slow gaze. Granted, Harry looks at me like that too, but it's different. Maybe because I actually like him.

I don't really know why I decided to be sly and not tell him my age when he asked. He looked confused and a bit disappointed. So, when I got back to my desk, I toyed with the idea of telling him. I got busy with work, but the thought kept poking at my brain until I finally knew what I should do. I sent him an email. Just a quick, one-liner in which I revealed my age. With a smiley face at the end. Hopefully he got the message that I'm not trying to play hard to get. On the contrary, he can get me any way he wants.

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[glastly]

Hope you guys don't mind me just sharing songs I like every now and then... here's a list of songs I like and why I like them :3 for fun :3

You can definitely check out some of the songs if you feel interested!! You don't have to listen to ALL ofc but if any of my descriptions pop out to you, feel free to have a listen :]

- I rlly like this song!!! at first I was like "ooh, sick ass drum beat" and then I was smacked in the face with the sheer beauty of the vocals and bgm.. it's a very pretty song! makes me sad though

- This song is also very nice, MCR's slower songs make me feel a very specific type of emotional... gerard way's voice is just so so so good and I love the way he sings with emotion in all of the band's songs..... Plus I really like the guitar solo in this :3

- This is actually one of my favourite songs, I love EVERYTHING about it... It just ticks all my boxes,, and it makes me so emotional because of the lyrics and the guitar and UGH VIC FUENTES VOICE.... Very good, me fave song... maybe even my number one....

- ERM... AVril Lavigne is a big celebrity crush of mine she's very pretty and her live singing voice is INSANELY good, unfortunatley idk too many of her songs and only know the popular ones but this song is a classic and it makes me sad(iSEE THE WAY YUR ACTING LIKE YOURE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS ME FRRUSTRAATEDD😫/lyr)

- DID YOU KNOW THAT I DRAW HALF OF MY METTATON DRAWINGS WITH THIS SONG LOOPED IN THE BACKGROUND GAHHAHA I'm so basic but you can't go wrong with the QUEEN(gaga) she's literally perfect

- This song is just 2018 memories to me.. When I was 10 years old Sushush was my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE artist and they did an animatic to this song and I loved it sm.. very nostalgic!

- This song is literally so omg. I dont know if anybody knows this but I was such a big akiangel person and I'd listen to this on loop for MONTHS because I was so obsessed with the ship HELP I love old songs.. plus this one's so catchy, 10/10

- Not many people really know this because I never talk about it but I'm a big J-hiphop fan and I lav home made kazoku... this song reminds me of year 8, itz very groovi

- I rarely listen to songs like this, but it's honestly fire and I listen to it pretty often.. AND UM.. I FOUND IT THRU AN OLD 2019 ANIMATIC MEME TREND HAHHW MAYBE YOUVE SEEN THE VIDS TOO

- Oh this song... I like arctic monkeys but I only know like two songs, but I LOVE how Alex turner doesnt "Americanise" his accent because I always see non american vocalists sing in a different accent than they speak in.. But anyway this song is very good, catchy bassline, catchy song, catchy everything. Def recommend! makes me nostalgic

[namelessknight]

Random Overwatch Writing Idea.

I love the idea of if Gerard survived the encounter with WidowMaker that Gerard would do anything to take down not just Talon but also WidowMaker without thinking of the implications that holds.

He just wants revenge at Talon & destroying their weapon WidowMaker and avenging his wife Amélie would bring him peace…or at least he thinks it would.

(Basically he separated WidowMaker from Amélie) He tries not to put too much thought into it, all he does is try focus on the mission and that anger.

If you want a comparison, he’s more akin to OW1 WidowMaker with no feeling replaced with just anger & resentment.

I also imagine that if WidowMaker (Overwatch 2 specially) ever saw Gerard again she would be floored. Flabbergasted and honestly show that side of emotion again.

Compared to OW1 she is showing more emotion…more anger at Talon and when it comes to Gerard. A lot. (Example when she’s all sassy to Solider 76 when telling him that Gérard preferred roses to lilies)

So I imagine this confused WidowMaker hiding her new found emotion to Talon so she doesn’t go through that trauma again and finding out Amélie isn’t totally dead…then encountering a angry supposed to be dead French man bashing through a window and throwing a dagger at her.

I imagine those interactions in game being damn interesting.

Here’s some ideas of how that would go-

“WidowMaker.”

“Gérard.”

“Still angry at the fact I threw that dagger at you?”

“Yes.”

“Very well.

“You’re alive…”

“What about it?”

“I killed you.”

She sounds pissed off here in both of her statements.

“Oh pff, You’re just mad that the whole reason that your the way that you are is now a lie. Don’t worry SpiderBuilder…you are still a killer.”

//Laughs at seemingly nothing when in reality it’s a certain someone making her laugh//

“Well that’s not disturbing…”

“What? You used to love my laugh~”

“That was before you murdered me in my sleep.”

//hums a soft melody//

“I remember liking your singing voice…why not sing a little song before we go into battle.”

“No can do. My voice is sore.”

A WidowMaker eye roll can be heard.

“From what exactly?”

“…Screaming.”

“Next time when you shoot, can you not shoot near me?”

“Maybe try not heading in with no plan first.”

“You have to get the job done right away. You made that very clear.”

“And I will make it very clear. Again.”

“//Laughs// Remember that time you got super happy hitting that target at the fair?”

“What? Are you gonna tell me that I was a terrible shot and you would do better?”

She stays very silent a moment. As though in thought or even hurt at that comment.

“…yes. I never miss.”

“Well you missed me, faiseur de veuves!”

“Stop standing so close to me, woman!”

“Must you start every fight when we’re near each other?”

“yOu sTarTeD iT fIrsT!”

“Ugh…”

//Gets killed by Gérard//

“I guess I’m the new WidowMaker!”

//Gets killed by WidowMaker//

“You should’ve stayed dead.”

//Gets killed by Gérard//

“I wAs aFrAiD oF sPiDERs-“

//Gets killed by WidowMaker//

“I wish…I wish things were different my love.”

//Gets killed by Gérard//

“I’m sorry…but history tends to repeat itself…”

//Gets healed by WidowMaker//

“Don’t expect a thank you!”

//Gets healed by Gérard//

“Merci, espèce de porc.”

//Gets healed by WidowMaker//

“Wow! You being nice!”

//Gets healed by Gérard//

“You still care? Pathetic.”

I want to make a separate post about my version of what Gérard would be like if he was in game and also other interaction with other characters!

But this was fun to think, write and experiment with! :DD

[septembersghost]

Ugh, don't even get me started on POTO's film adaptation. I felt bad for Gerard Butler, because I could see he was clearly trying his best, but he was just not the right person for the role. It wasn't the right casting. Honestly, I think they should've gone with Michael Crawford; yes, he might've been old, but at least he knew the role!

phantom is such a strange case study as an adaptation because there are pieces that do work! but somehow the whole doesn't. gerard WAS trying, but between him being miscast (as the angel of music, no less!) and the hesitancy they seemed to have regarding getting erik's character across (plus the makeup situation), he feels out of place. emmy is LOVELY, i'm a fan of hers!, but she was too young. patrick wilson's voice is BEAUTIFUL, but they made odd decisions with raoul. minnie driver is delightful as carlotta, but she's in a whole other movie. the visuals are stunning. the costumes are beyond gorgeous. but schumacher's direction was a whole mess, and it's missing something in its soul as a film. i don't hate it, it just makes me kind of sad/disappointed because i love phantom soooo much and it's so naturally cinematic, and they fumbled it! part of where i always defend sweeney was that i really feel burton *did* understand the soul of the tale and how to effectively tell that story, and it still comes across onscreen.

i am forever gnashing my teeth that they don't hire musical theatre actors for film adaptations (and that they don't regularly do proshots of productions for accessibility and to preserve them - so many incredible productions are lost to time forever because producers on broadway have been opposed to this!).

[gaybriar]

ok i have to tell my mcr story!!! i have to TALK about my chemical romance!!! in 2004 maybe, or 2005, i had just got home from school and, as we did in the 2000s, i was sat on the living room floor with my mum and sister in the room, flicking through the music channels to find something to listen to, and i came across this music video. singer with long black hair, lots of thick eye makeup, at a funeral, right? and my mum went, in this funny little voice that first gen middle class northern mums have when theyre trying to be respectable, she went "ugh this is awful, turn this off!" and i did but that mv percolated in my tiny little 11 year old brain for a nice long time, and then about a year later the black parade mv dropped, and i saw it, and i looked at gerard way;s face, and i died inside, and i realised i was gay, and i understood god, and then i basically spent the next 8 years alive because gerard way said i should be alive. and then when they split up it was the easter holidays of my first year at uni and i was essentially living off strongbow dark fruits and supernoodles and my halls were let out to conferences so i couldnt stay there, so i had to go back to my parents house and commute three times a week back to my city for work, and i found out theyd split up by reading it on my blackberry on the first of three (3) buses to work. and i cried on the bus and then i got told off at work for not being helpful enough to customers.

[fistfightsandstilettos]

🌃 📚👶 for the song ask game

🌃 A song for night time

when I listen to music at night I usually go for chill instrumentals or easy listening. I've listened to this Icelandic group for years and I love how chill they are

📚 A song or album you could write a term paper on

man. MAN. Desert Song. Desert Song. DESERT SONG. a bonus track from the biographical/behind the scenes/super 2005 flavour My Chemical Romance DVD Life On The Murder Scene. I was 16 the first time I heard it and it's stuck with me ever since. the simplicity of the guitars. the STRAIN in Gerard's voice. I lose my mind over it. I'm jealous of every single person who was at the show on their last tour where they played it. to be able to pull something like this out of yourself when you're suffering the way he was when he wrote it is a FEAT.

👶 The first song you remember enjoying

GOOD QUESTION. I mean it's gotta be a kid's song right. there were lots of great children's musical artists in the 80s and 90s but two that were always hits for me are Fred Penner and Charlotte Diamond. I actually have a Charlotte Diamond album on vinyl! and got to see her in concert as a wee baby (maybe 3 years old? the memory of being there is very clear in my mind but no details lol)

let's go with one of the songs off that vinyl I have. my mum continued to sing this to my brother and me even as we hit our teen years (ugh MUM!) and I just think it's nice!

[inkykeiji]

Hehe i was listening to Thank You for the Venom by MCR and it reminded me of both Tomura and Dabi in your BMB series 🤧🍓🌈✨🍑🔮 hope you are well!!!! 💘

oH MY GOSH ANON i totally forgot about this song!!!!!!!!! holy fuck mcr was one of my favourite bands when i was like 12-14 and their older work (especially three cheers for sweet revenge + the black parade) still holds up today it’s so fucking good!!

you are so right!! i can totally see that, 100%!!! it also reminds me a of my touya-nii a LOT and i rly want to add it to both his playlist and bmb!dabi’s playlist!!! thank you so much for letting me know ur thoughts!! <3 the end reminds me of canon dabi & like,,,, canon dabi’s funeral song lol ._. so good tho! aw sweetpea thank you, i hope you are well, too!!! ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

[agnessmadness]

he have listened .

he questioned him back with a few things but he still proceed to listen to his voice - not pushing him aside like he was nothing but a mere trash - yet all of this could only be just a trick - but soon he'll know and see through of what he have to do .

he was a kid with a huge weight on his back and shoulders - he wanted to carry some of them too - so he could feel more light - but was he adding more weight onto his back ? maybe - but he couldn't turn back now - he cannot ever since he have touch the kid's hand - was he regretting his decision ? no , of course not ! he could not regret such a firm decision that he have made !

he wanted to live in a world with peace . no fear no death no bad things .

he don't want anybody else to feel what he have gone through -

what is the right course of action to take what is the wrong course of action to perform .

trust him with his whole life - is he that trustworthy ? of course he is ! he was a hero after all ! a warrior ! a hero and a warrior is to be trusted and rely on - right ? why is he still holding onto that title that he was called back in that village - is it - a good thing ? - ugh - whatever - he's going to stay strong with this titles of his .

as they left that village alone and set onto their path - walk along the path days and nights that stop time to time for his king to set onto some places as a traveler - healed and helped some people get better and stronger - then continue to move on - on and on without no stop -

yet they have both to land upon a path that will lead them to a village that Gerard can decide on taking . a village that he can deemed bad .

everybody was kind and nice - he couldn't help but felt guilt forming over him every time he wanted to take onto an action and perform it and take over the village - he have said to himself didn't he ? he didn't want anybody else to ended up like him - alone and lost -

he walked before he looked down onto his hand as his king voice a concern .

" does .. eliminating innocent people to get what we need .. necessary ? "

would miracle allow that to happen ? would miracle be with him - within this ?

—-- this was what he wanted.

It was refreshing and it was pleasing as well. Someone who had power and a voice. Someone who would speak up when it was needed, like he said. He was not all knowing, all seeing, all powerful —- yet. The day will come when he would become a god and have the power to kill the soul king, end all who stood with him as well and then to take the three worlds and force them to become one, to become the world of dreams, the world he would rule over.

A world for his people to live within.

“I am not a mindless killer nor will I slaughter anyone who does not deserve it.”

As he would twirl his hand within the air for the moment and speak his words. Looking back at the village, he would let them be then and pay them no more attention, if his newly crowd knight deemed it such a thing then so be it, he would not raise his blade to them and he would not spill the blood of those who had truly done nothing wrong and nothing that would deserve such a thing to befall them, he was a prince, he was learning and in time he would know himself.

What was the right course of action to take.

And what was the wrong course of actions to take.

“You are no mindless brute, you are someone that I see value in, someone that might not trust me as of this moment, but I trust you with my life, a part of my soul lives within you, that is how much I trust you.”

So he set out across the land, letting that village remain as it was as they traveled together, for days and nights, across this vast land, passing through numerous villages and people, and at times he did stop, he did speak, he did seek out those who were ill, who were sick, dying even and he touched them with his hand. Placing his power within them and healing them, making them youthful, full of strength and power once more, as it had been and then, moving on, slowly.

As they crossed the land.

Very slowly he was growing his people all the more, but the problem was still there, it was always going to be there until something was done about it. “We need land.” As he voiced, walking at his side. “You know this area better than me.” As he sighed - forming a kingdom, was not going to be such an easy task for him to come along and do. “Which area can we take then?” If he was concerned that they would harm innocents, then he would leave it within the hands of his knight.

—-- to pick the place they would form this kingdom of dreams.

[girlgerard]

mr girlgerard arrested on one bazillion accounts of killing gerardies

i'm just. UGH <3 im so glad they don't feel like they have to wrench their voice lower anymore it's. blah. obviously it's affected by smoking/not smoking but it's just so intentionally free and unrestrained. the 00s would attempt to impale you if you so much as hit a higher decibel for a second as a man*, or if you had a lisp or any other feminized stereotype attached to you. everyone spoke lower to try and dodge this. and the fact that gerard doesn't feel the need to do that anymore............wowie

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

I really enjoyed seeing your style advance in your most recent post on here! Short little request (only if you want to!) Angsty Break up/make-up with punk! (Or Desolation Row) Gerard based on the "you see me in hindsight" part of Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams?

Title: Wildest Dreams A/N: UGH I LOVED THIS REQUEST. I literally wrote this entire thing in a day, I just got down to it. I've also been meaning to write something more angsty recently, but was never able to figure out what I should write about, so this was PERFECT. Pairing: Punk/Desolation Row!Gerard x F!REader Word count: 4,910 words Warnings: LOTS of angst, fighting (both physical and verbal), swearing, all the good angsty, breakup stuff.

If there was more than one way to say “fuck you” you would’ve screamed every single one at him by now.

You had devoted so much of yourself to him. You paid for the two of you to live in a basic 800 square foot apartment in a crappy neighborhood because his stupid band could never actually get a grip on any decent money. Scratch that- they couldn’t get any money at all.

On top of the thousands of dollars you had clearly wasted supporting the dream of a man who was nothing short of a douche bag, you had become attached to him in such an insufferable manner. You loved him, absolutely loved him. And he said he had loved you too, many times actually. You reflected on the times when he seemed to have meant it, when that hazel color in his eyes seemed to mix with your own so well as you stared at each other, or when his hand gave yours one of those little squeezes as he said it. Or right after he would gently kiss you, which was relatively rare. Most of the time it was somewhat aggressive and harsh.

You weren’t really sure how it all happened. It was a mutual decision as you screamed at the top of your lungs a fired up, “Get the fuck out of my house” and he screamed right back, “I was already planning on it”. And now it had been a week.

No calls, no texts, no nothing. It wasn’t like you had tried, all of your friends had reminded you that he would’ve reached out by now if he actually wanted to apologize or mature up a bit. Something that you scoffed at, because Gerard could never mature. Not even in your wildest dreams.

Gerard was now in his brother’s basement, laying on the couch as some random music played in the background. He took his current cigarette out of his mouth, letting the smoke linger above his head as he exhaled, staring up at the slightly stained ceiling.

Break ups had never been hard. At first, he figured this one wouldn’t be either. He started off the day after finding himself with another girl in the back of his car, but midway through his desperate attempt to get any feeling all he could see on her face was you. He had to shake his head a bit and get a grip, which didn’t work because all he heard was your voice beginning for more, not the other girls.

Day two he got seduced by a girl at a bar. She was pretty, average height, blonde, skinny, his average hookup. But as her hands roamed his body they felt like a strangers. He remembered how you always knew where he was most sensitive, his favorite move of yours being how your delicate fingers danced along the skin on the back of his neck while his hands gripped on your waist. You would always be quick to whisper another “I love you”, just loud enough where he could hear it but the sound would never dare to depart the invisible bubble the two of you had created. 

He always knew you meant it to. Your eyes lit up a bit, I miss her eyes. He thought. And he always meant it to, he just wasn’t great at showing that. Or love in general.

Day three he got drunk. Something that was stupid and he hadn’t done much since the two of you had gotten together. You scolded him like a mother when he drank too much, and even in his deeply drunken state he always remembered you trying to carry him back home and making sure he got to bed safe. Then waking up to find pain killers and water.

Day four he played with his band again. It was miserable, but somehow that only fueled the crowd. He let his anger and despair loose like a wild animal, and for a brief moment up there with the shining lights beaming down on his skin he felt like one. Like a wild animal lashing out on whatever it could.

Day five he got into a fight. Kind of by accident, but long story short the guy was just a dick. He chuckled to himself as he pondered on that self-reflection, because he was a dick too. The guy was just more of a dick than him. That’s how he ended up with a bruising black eye and busted lip. A few light scratched painted his face and played as accents as well, but he always had some form of a scratch somewhere.

He remembered the first time he had ever gotten into a fight with you there, and you drug him like a dog catcher with a new find away, scolding him, again, like the great mother he had always imagined you being some day. You were mumbling all the way home, calling him stupid and asking what made him do such a thing, and he just shrugged it off. Then you had him sit on the bed as you fixed him up as best you could, and scolded him even more when he let out any sign of pain, reminding him that “you got your ass into this”.

Day six he stayed inside all day. Mikey asked him if he wanted to go out with any of his friends and he silently shook his head. He laid on the couch all day in his own thoughts, something that deeply scared him. You just wouldn’t leave his mind. Every other girl he had ever dated had just erased themselves in two to five business days. But you stayed put on the forefront of his mind.

But of course you did. You were a no shit woman and stubborn as hell. That’s what made him love you so much. You were never scared of him, not that he ever wanted you to be, because both of you knew you could do better than him. But opposites always attract, so of course the fucked up punk with a low life band got a kick ass girlfriend with a real job and real friends and a life that was together. Maybe that’s why the relationship would never have worked out.

And then came day seven. The day he cried. He never really cried, it wasn’t something he ever did. He remembered you crying, a lot. You were strong but incredibly emotional, to a borderline envious point. You cried over friends who were struggling, over stress, over those stupid PETA commercials that show skinny and shaking dogs looking up at the camera with big puppy dogs eyes.

And shit those puppy dog eyes you put on when you wanted something. He would fall to his knees practically if you put them on, hell, even kill a man if you asked. You were just-

You were obnoxiously perfect.

He’s pretty sure he was at least on pack three by now when Mikey came in. “Okay, get the fuck up, we’re not doing this anymore.” Gerard turned his head and furrowed his eyebrows. “Oh don’t play dumb. You’ve never once gotten upset over a break up. So you have one of two options: one, fuck as many girls as it takes until you’re over Y/N, or two, put your pride back up your ass and go to apologize.” “How about neither?” Gerard asked.

“Nope.” Mikey stated matter-of-factly. “Listen, as respectfully as I can put this, you’re an asshole. And you were a dick to Y/N most of the time, which was so unfair to her because of how sweet she is-” “Like the fucking sun in a person.” Gerard commented.

“Exactly! And she somehow ended up with you.” Gerard growled a bit.

“Don’t remind me.” He sighed.

“I’m pretty sure she’s on your mind 24/7.” Mikey looked at him still with a tight knit face, “So get your shit together, and go confess your love to her like some fucking Romeo and Juliet shit and then stop acting like a dick to her. Maybe you won’t be a dick to the rest of us too.”

Gerard didn’t respond for a second, “You know how Romeo and Juliet ends, right?” Mikey scoffed, turning around for a moment before absolutely blowing on his older brother to collect himself.

“Fine, I’ll give you a day to think this over. But you’ve now had a week, and I bet you my entire fucking savings account that Y/N is probably just as distraught as you if not more. So you gotta figure this shit out, Gee. Clean up your own mess for once.”

“So, what’s the plan? Glitter on his shit, really sexy pictures of you on Instagram-” “No.” You stated, your best friend, Bee, standing over you as you sulked into your bed more. His side still smelled like him despite washing the sheets at least a half dozen times this week. “Just sulk over him. I hate him.” “I know, I do too.” She admitted, sitting next to you and placing a hand on your leg. “Which is why we need to find you another man. And one who’s not a complete pain in the ass man child.” You grumbled.

“Yeah but I-” Your voice cracked a bit as you grabbed onto your pillow and hugged it more, “I loved him.” And you broke down into a sobbing fit again.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Bee sighed, running her fingers through your hair to soothe you. “You’re crying over a man who pushed every single button he knew you had and then left like it was nothing. He knew what he said, all that hurtful shit.” “Yeah, but I said some hurtful shit back.” You sniffled.

“Not to the extent that he hurt you.” She sighed, “Y/N, you gotta get over him. I love you, seriously, and that’s why I’m telling you that you could have literally any man in this entire city falling on his knees and begging for you.” “Yeah, but I don’t want them.” You replied.

“Do you want Gerard?” You shrugged.

“Not right now, no.”

“Then c’mon girl. Let’s get that skimpy little red dress that’s barely legal to wear out and get drunk!” She smiled at you and you huffed. “And no, you don’t have a choice.”

You had never felt more uncomfortable in your life.

Physically, this dress was straining. Sure, it hugged your curves in all the right way, and yes, you looked very hot, but you really craved a hoodie and sweatpants at the moment. And those high heels- you wanted to chuck them into the street.

You stood in line for this stupid club your friends raved about, they were all talking about something as you leaned up against the brick wall and zoned off a bit. It would be really nice if Gerard was here.

He loved this dress, always. He said he loved how you finally got confidence in yourself to wear it out, and despite the fact he trusted you, or at least to your best knowledge he did, he was one protective borderline jealous motherfucker. The way he would take you in backrooms and bathrooms, in the car sometimes if a guy even looked at you just the wrong way. Or when he would grip your waist so tight you almost felt your circulation come off.

“You cannot be thinking about him right now!” One of you friends, Rachel, broke you from your trance.

“Hm?” You asked looking at her.

“Seriously! There are, like, at least 50 guys in there who would practically die to get a taste of your ass! And you’re still dreaming about stupid fucking Gerard. What good did he ever even do for you?” “Oh shut the fuck up!” You fired right back, every single girl in the little circle suddenly looked shocked and paralyzed. “I know he wasn’t the best, most picturesque boyfriend, and he was shitty sometimes, of course, but at least I could die tonight and know that he genuinely cared and loved me.” “Get over yourself!” Rachel fought right back. “You’ve clearly lost your fucking mind if you are going to defend a man like him. Not even a man- a boy most of the time!”

You had no idea where this sudden flame of fire and fury came from within you but you had no control. For the first time, as your teeth seethed together and your fists grew into a ball, you understood that this was maybe how Gerard felt- all of the time.

“And who the fuck are you to give me relationship advice when the last guy you dated was a good for nothing blonde hair blue eyes type with two side chicks?”

Had you gone too far? Probably. Did you regret it? As soon as you felt her hand grab your hair, yes.

Okay, so you were in a fight. And over a man, apparently. Y/N, how the fuck did you get yourself here? You thought as she dragged you towards her. But as soon as you made eye contact, despite being below her with her hand run through your hair, you swung her right in the nose.

She fell back a bit, letting go of your hair but swiftly punched you right back, again, in the nose. You remained standing but gasped a bit, covering your nose as you saw nothing but red. At this point, you didn’t even have to take your eyes off the target to know that everyone was looking at you. You got one final swing in, right on her cheek before two security guards came up and pulled you apart, your friends too scared to get involved.

It took you a few seconds of snarling and regaining your breath, your face still contorted in anger and determination, before you actually looked around. Everyone around you seemed shocked to say the least, confused, maybe even scared. And you face softened as you realized what you had done. I fucked up.

As Bee dragged you away with her hand, walking back down the street towards your apartment, you looked around briefly in disappointment. More in yourself than anything. You sighed and looked across the street towards a local bar. I could use a fucking drink right now. Or two. Or three. Or an entire bottle of something.

Gerard, with much reluctance, had agreed to go out with Mikey and his friends. They went to the same bar for drinks, ordered the same things, and Gerard was proud to say he only had two shots. Much better than what he had done just a few days ago, a steady improvement. She would be proud, I bet.

He looked around, seeing some girls at a booth eyeing him like he was the most delicious thing all six of them had ever seen, and maybe he was, but none of them were you. So why did it matter?

“Hey man, you alright?” Mikey turned his stool at the bar to face his brother who still had a sad aurora outlining his entire personality and being at the moment.

“Yeah,” He sighed. “I fucked up real bad, didn’t I?” He asked with a tone of realization as Mikey tightly smiled and nodded.

“Yup.” He stated, taking a sip of his beer, “You fucked up. Big time.” Gerard took a deep breath.

“I’m gonna run out for a smoke, come with?” Mikey nodded in agreement, following his older brother closely behind as they made their way to the front of the building, leaning against it as Gerard quickly scavenged around in his leather jacket to find his pack, quickly lighting the one propped through his lips, impatiently waiting to feel some relief again.

“Fuck I hate this.” He muttered, talking solely out of the corner of his mouth free from intrusion of what he knew was poison wrapped in paper.

“Yeah, man, I think I could tell.” Mikey chuckled, a few moments of silence lingering between the two of them before Mikey took a deep sigh. “Listen, if you want her back, you’re really gonna have to fight for it. And you’re gonna have to change, Gee. You can’t keep being a shitty boyfriend to a girl who has probably at least a couple dozen men lined up to be her next.” “Yeah, I get that.” He removed the cigarette, letting the smoke fade into the air. “I’m scared, Mikey.” “Scared of what?” The younger brother asked, his entire face contorting into confusion and concern. Gerard had never been scared, or at least had never openly admitted to it.

“What if I actually lose her. Like, actually.” He began, “What if she moves on, finds a rich husband that actually treats her like the gorgeous, amazing, smart woman she is. Has kids and a big house in the suburbs and a stupid big fucking Suburban or something and college funds for their kids and shops at Whole Foods- and what if that guy’s not me?” “Gee,” Mikey began, not even sure where to go with this as he blankly stared at his brother, mouth wide open. “You realize you will never be that guy, right?” “I mean, the Suburban part, yeah. Who the fuck actually needs a car that big-” “No, any of that!” Mikey exclaimed. “You could be her husband, sure, but you have never been able to commit to something or someone for more than a few years, and that’s stretching it. And kids- Gee, I love you so much man, but you’re like a kid right now. A lost 17-year-old trying to run from responsibility.” He sighed, “If you wanna be that guy, you gotta grow up, mature. I love the band, but man, use your college degree! You’re still in debt from it, go find a job, be a big boy for once and do it for her!”

Gerard let it all sink in. Deep down he knew Mikey was absolutely right. Gerard was scared of growing up, so he never did. He was always a stupid 17-year-old dreamer who fucked girls and played in a punk band, dressed like he would beat your face into the cement (which, let’s be clear, he would), and ran from everything. But this- you were something he couldn’t run from.

“You’re right Mikey I-” Right as he was about to continue absolute chaos erupted across the street. The two of them looked over, a bit confused, seeing the line across the street for whatever the stupid night club was called, it was popular amongst young people.

It looked like two girls were going at it. One had the others hair, then one punched the other, than the other punched that one, and finally the girl in the red dress- wait, he’s seen that dress before. His mind began processing and searching through it’s files trying to find where he had seen it before and then- shit, it was you.

He saw Bee, your best friend (who, side note: hated Gerard from the get-go) drag you away as you looked down in shame before looking back up in almost an internal panic. He knew that look on your face, it was the pure disappointment one that always led you to a breakdown. It was the same one you always made when you failed at something or fucked something up, just with blood coming out of your nose. Wait, that’s really hot- get it together Gerard! Y/N just got into a fight!

He turned to Mikey who turned to him at the same time. “Was that who I thought it was?” Mikey asked and Gerard nodded.

You were back to being curled up in your bed, sweatpants, sweatshirt and all, crying again. This time, the only difference was an ice bag pressed against your nose. You knew that this was your fault. But you had also had it with people who just didn’t... understand.

They never would. Sometimes people find love that erupts like fireworks, makes butterflies swarm in your stomach every time you see that person, the type of love that makes you want to spend every minute of the rest of your life with that person, even if it means regular arguments filled with screaming and fighting.

You weren’t really all that sure what went wrong. Gerard was great, always, but he had just been more on edge for the last few months and he broke. Your face turned sour as your mind brought back the images of the fight. You had thrown punches at each other constantly, it was part of your relationship to fight a bit every day over how he didn’t have an income, he would call you pretentious for thinking you were better than him, you would get pissed at him for using that as an excuse to continue and play games, then you would have make up sex and the world would be back to normal.

But this last fight, the last fight... it wasn’t like that at all.

“That’s a lie and you know it is!” Gerard fired at you, pacing in the small kitchen area as you stood in the living room, arms crossed and tears streaming down your face. “You’ve always wanted this perfect little princess life, wanted to copy your friends on everything they do with their stupid brunch and Instagram pictures and mimosas and fucking self help books-”

“You cannot seriously be accusing me of not knowing who I am.” You responded firmly with a scoff, standing your ground. “You’ve always been lost and running from who you are. You’ve constantly been in a battle with yourself against maturing. It’s why you’re acting like you’re nine right now.”

“Oh fuck off!” He yelled right back, “You’re not just pretentious, oh no, Y/N. You’re way worse than that.” A vile smile grew on his face as he was right about to press the nuke button on everything you two had together, “You’ll never be good enough. You and I both know that. You’re scared of never being good enough, so you try to prove yourself but all you do is make it worse. You’ll never be known, no one really gives a shit, you have fake friends who don’t care about you, a fucked family, and you think you’re the shit. A little advice: stop acting like you’re perfect when all you are is fucked up.”

You stared up at the man who had just this morning looked at you with the most gracious, loving eyes you had seen. Now, they were empty. A void that had sucked every little piece of you and him together. It was gone forever.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” You muttered under your breath.

“I was already planning on it.” He responded, walking over to the door, grabbing his leather jacket and slamming the door on his way out.

You wondered, still, if that’s what he actually thought of you as or if he was just trying to push your buttons. Either way, he pushed an irreversible button. It would be hard to look at that Gerard the same way, unless he became a newer, better version of himself. You almost laughed at the thought. A better Gerard? Impossible.

You laid there for a few more moments, letting those fantastical ideas fade into nothing, as they were, and heard a knock on the door. You sighed, getting up and assuming it was Bee here to scold you some more or a package arriving.

When you reached the door, you opened it and froze in place.

“So what am I supposed to do Mikey, huh?” Gerard was pacing his in brother’s kitchen this morning, his feet growing sticky against the tile as his worry grew. Mikey sipped on his cup of coffee, Gerard’s turning cold for possibly the first time in his life.

“Go check on her.” Mikey said nonchalantly, Gerard looking up at him like he was a crazy man. “Seriously, help her out. It’s a step in the right direction, and although you’ll need at least a mile of steps to reach where you were, it’s a start.” “I can’t just walk in her apartment like that, I mean- Mikey, I broke Y/N.” “Yeah, you did.” Mikey responded, going to refill his coffee again. “Which is why you need to fix it.”

“Hey.” His voice echoed through your ears over and over again until you realized you were just staring at him.

“Hi.” You responded.

“I um- I wanted to check on you after last night, the fight and ya know-” “Great, you saw that.” You sighed, holding onto the door frame for what felt like dear life. “I- I’m fine.” You forced a smile. He nodded a bit, scanning your nose.

“Are you sure? Your nose looks like it might be-” “I don’t need a snarky comment.” You stated, making dead eye contact to make it clear his games would not be tolerated now. Or ever.

“I- I wasn’t going to.” He said, stuttering a bit. “I was just gonna say it looks like it might be scratched a bit towards the bottom. Did you hit it with alcohol yet?” You shook your head. And letting your better judgment go, moved to the side to let him in.

He made his way straight to the bathroom, and under the sink where you kept the first aid stuff. You sat back down on your bed, which was a hot mess and had not been made in a week, and waited for him to come back.

He opened the small red box, getting out some bandage, small towelettes, and some extra alcohol. He began to dab some of the alcohol on the towelettes, examining your face a little. “This is gonna sting a bit, okay?” He said and you nodded.

He very lightly padded the area of shredded skin around your nose as you held back any sigh of weakness, only closing your eyes and flinching a bit when he began. He kept a sturdy hand on your chin, letting his fingers grace your skin which felt absolutely incredible- No Y/N, he’s bad right now.

“Good job, sweetheart.” He lightly smiled, putting the tools back in the case and throwing away the used towels before putting a bandage under it to stop any further bleeding. “Have you taken painkiller?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, some, I’m almost out though-” “I could run to the store and grab you more.” He beamed and you looked up at that hopeful face of a man who crushed you just a week ago. You sighed.

“Gee, I-” You looked away for a moment trying to formulate the words without crying. “I- I think it’s best if maybe we- maybe we don’t see each other for a bit.” You cringed just slightly over your words, still looking away and with much hesitation looking back up at him.

His face was disappointed, but not surprised. You felt bad, of course, but these were boundaries, right? And well all need those. He slowly nodded, looking away a bit and awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Listen I just think we have two different views on a lot of things including what we were and until we can find that mutually again we should just-” “I get it.” He responded with a tight smile. “I um- I have a lot of work to do on myself, and you have a lot of things in life that I shouldn’t hold you back from, especially now.” You nodded, grateful that he understood.

You got up with him to walk him out, and as you opened the door and he walked into the hallway you couldn’t help but quickly grab his hand, pulling him back for a moment to look at you. His face was soft and sorrowful, but also understanding. You decided to lean in and give him one kiss on the lips, your flesh barely touching in the process, but just enough to remind him of everything.

“Just- say you’ll remember me?” You asked, still holding onto his hand. He gave it a small squeeze.

“How could I ever forget you?”

[iheartreiner]

Vampire! Mikey Way x Reader -pt 2-

⚠️Warnings⚠️ None

Again, takes place in a school

Mind my tenses assume it's present unless otherwise noted

Also mind my errors

Trying to keep it gender neutral

Part 2 out of idk

Approximately 1,024 words

I go home and sit at my desk. There's nothing to really do now. I pick up my phone and just stare at it. Wow my life is pretty sad. I go and get something to eat. I sit in silence. The guy fills my thoughts. I really need to get a life. I can't figure out if it's attraction or curiosity that makes me so interested in him. I go take a shower, of course he's still in my head. Why? Am I turning into a stalker? Not yet anyway. I finish my shower and change. He intrudes on my mind. Ugh. I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling "You suck." I mumble to myself. I start to drift to sleep and my phone goes off. I look, it's Gerard. I groan and look

"lunch tommorow sit with me and the guys👍" I groan. I really don't want to sit in the cafeteria

"Says who" I respond.

"I, Gerard Arthur Way"

"🙄"

"Its settled your going to sit with us in the cafeteria or im gonna find ur ass"

"To be determind"

"And ur gonna eat"

"Nope"

"Why"

"Because"

" :/ "

"I don't have to eat"

"We'll deal with that tommorow"

"Sure...."

"Night [Y/N]"

"Night"

I put my phone on my Night stand. Tomorrow doesn't have to come right? Usually I'm ready for another day to redeem my not so graceful self but now I'm dreading it. I lay down. I was about to do something to prolong night but I ended up fall asleep before I could.

~Next day mid day~

Wow when I don't want something to happen the day goes unusally fast. Interestingly a bitch. I take a deep breath. I look at the time every few minutes hoping today could go by sooner. I want to get this overwith. I could hide from Gerard. Bathroom? No that's... just no. Bathroom? Ugh now I'm thinking of the dude again. If I could at least know his name so I don't have to keep calling him guy, boy, dude, male like literally anything could be better than that. Thinking of him made the class go faster. Ugh now it's lunch time.

As I go over to the benches the guy is putting his stuff down. I look down so he doesn't know I know he is there and 100% spying on him. I exhale as I watch him go to the restroom. I sit for several minutes before I hear loud uneven footstep coming near me. I look over and it's Gerard "I told you I wasn't gonna let you sit all by yourself!" The other guys are in pursuit. I stiffen up as the others sit on the bench as well. Gerard quickly hands me a sandwich "No thanks." I say light pushing it back to him. "Yes you are eating it." He puts it on my lap "At least pretend your eating it and throw if away in secret." He says with a chuckle. I nod my stiff composer only increasing.

After a few more seconds the boy returns and sees me and the others. He immediately becomes akward and stiff as well. He slowly walks back to the bench across the hall. I look up to see him with his head down. 'Do something [Y/N]!" I say to myself. Out of adrenaline I give him a little wave. He smiles shyly and waves back. My heart skips a beat. Best thing that's happened to me all day hands down. I smile and glance up at him. God he's actually gorgeous now that I really pay attention. I can't tell if he was making me a bit more confident or even more insecure. He looks at Gerard and the guys and quickly looks down. There was something there. He gets up and walks toward the lockers. I panic. No! He's the only excitement I have at thus point. "One sec." I say before standing up. Gerard and the others barely noticed. I quickly walk in the direction he did. I question my impulse, debating on going back but continue.

I can see him now. I jog, not so gracefully until I get closer. "Hey!" I say my voice pitched up to sound better. He turns around and raises his eyebrows "Hmm?" He says kindly. Now I'm regretting my decision "Um.. I.. uh.. sorry." I turn red and he smiles. That made me even more flustered. I compose myself "Why'd you leave?"

"Oh you paid attention? Thats rare for me to get that much recognition.."

Aw.. "Yeah I did.. Why'd you leave though?"

"No reason... long story, really pointless."

"Are you and Gerard related?"

He winces and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry! That was dumb." I know there is something more there.

"No that's a good question." He smiles. I smile back. I was getting better at this.

"[Y/N] [Y/L/N]. Yours?" My voice is starting to relax.

"Mikey Way."

Ugh why did this make me so giddy and dizzy. I simply smile. The bell rings. "So.. I'll see you around?" Mikey asks. "Yeah... I'd like that." I respond. He smiles and I do the same. He looks down at me for a few more seconds before walking away. I'm frozen. He turns around quickly as he walks and waves. I wave back and walk the opposite direction. Finally making progress. I go to my class much happier. Mikey, I keep saying in my head.

Space science goes by quick knowing that the guys name is Mikey.

When I get out and start walking Gerard meets me. "Hey where'd you go?"

"I was talking to Mikey."

His eyes go big "Mikey Way?"

"Yep." I smile.

"[Y/N] no! That's not a good guy! Not good for you anyway!"

"I thought you didn't know him!" I say firmly back.

"That doesn't matter!"

"You guys are related."

He rubs his hand on his face "He told you.."

"No.. I just assumed. What do you mean not good for me? We've only talk like.. well.. just this once."

"Just trust me."

I roll my eyes "Fine."

He nods and sighs in relief. Little did he know I just lied to his face.

[gayswithguitars]

Well, now that it’s been nearly 48 hours since I saw MCR, I should talk about it. This will likely be sappy and cheesy, I’m not apologizing.

The openers were hella fun, though I had to fill my mom in on what happened between Gabe Saporta and Mikey so that was fantastic.

Then this deafening static, the kind that shakes you to your teeth, it felt like ages but was probably only five minutes max.

Then they were there.

All four of them.

I can’t describe the rush of emotions that flooded me, shock, excitement, anticipation and most of all, pure joy.

If I could go back in time and tell my 12 year old self that one day I’d see MCR live, she’d burst into tears. If I told her that one day she’d see the whole emo trinity, she’d faint.

The Foundations of Decay starts, beautiful and haunting. I knew that night was going to be incredible when the stadium shook on the “So he gets to die a Saint but she will always be the whore!” part.

The song pulls to a close, and I’m shaking with happiness. Praying for my favorite songs to play.

BANG. THANK YOU FOR THE VEMON!!! This is easily my number one MCR song, it’s fast, it’s heavy, and seeing Mr. Toro rip it to shreds was absolutely wonderful.

So I’d think after these two fast, hard songs they’d play something slow, but iN COMES IM NOT OKAY. Again, my younger self would piss herself. God, it was so incredible.

Again, like a fool, I think a slower song will follow. Nope! Vampire Money! I started losing my voice around here. Oh! Gerard also sang “Get fucked in an airport bar.” So we had that going.

THIS IS HOW I DISAPPEAR!!!!! Beautiful, wonderful, served, I love her. Mwah.

Finally we get a little reprieve, Ah fuck, it’s Summertime. Look, don’t get me wrong, I love the song, but it’s about you know who. I’m gonna ignore that because G asked us to put our lights up, giggled and said it looked magical :)

Back to it! Cemetery Drive! Was there a tiny part of me praying Mikey would slip again? Maybe, you’ll never know.

Lights go off, it gets quiet. Gerard starts humming. “What are we? To him? To god? Our father, who art in heaven…”

BLAMO it’s Our Lady of Sorrows!!!!! Also I forgot to mention, Mikey was hella active with our section ugh He’s awesome.

Hang Em’ High starts! Gerard just wore a black shirt and pants but I wish him or Ray wore a cowboy outfit.

Boy Division starts, again, hearing a whole crowd together was awesome, especially the LA LA LA LA part.

Welcome To The Black Parade. What can I even say. Words can’t describe how moving it was to hear everyone singing together. This anthem. This banger. So beautiful.

Teenagers. Gerard said he didn’t like the song that much but they’ve got to play it I suppose. (Cough) though they could play MGATMK but that’s not my business.

I turn to my mom, smiling, this smile would quickly drop as I realized DESTROYA was starting. So yes, I had to watch Gerard Way moan with my mother. (Heavy sigh)

DEATHWISH!!!! How I love it, so fucking cool.

And from the heavens, my baby girl, Mama begins. Gerard literally pointed the mic at the crowd and told everyone to “Sing it!” at the gender part. I love them.

HOUSE OF WOLVES!!!! I had to delete my messages with my father to make room for storage here, do not regret it.

Na Na Na! My mom knew this one and said she really liked it live :) love you mom

Famous Last Words. I told myself I wouldn’t cry at this show. I was so SO wrong. They let the crowd sing the part after the guitar solo alone and I broke into tears, my makeup and I did not survive.

They left the stage as I sobbed, my mom staring at me wondering what the hell was wrong.

Ready for the encore? Good, buckle up.

Gerard announces the next song is for the king. Everyone says what the fuck. BOOM. VAMPIRES WILL NEVER HURT YOU. WHAAAAT.

Next up is Helena, so beautiful and perfect, I thought this would be the last song as it used to be.

Everyone left the stage except G, who was laying ass up on the stage.

My mom and I laughed, watching as he hopped up.

And then.

Cancer.

Every emotion I’ve felt in these rough few months came crashing down. I sobbed like a baby. Then it was over.

I am so thankful I got to see this show, it was genuinely life changing. I hope you all get to see them one day if you haven’t. It was just, wow, wow wow wow.

These guys saved my life, and I think they did it again last night. :)