#geralinda

[rhondafromhr]

Expanding on my “the Monroes adopt Max and he becomes an even worse person” AU

- they take him in not long after he turns sixteen. His dad dies in some kind of freak accident, it makes the news and Linda recognizes the name because she knows everything there is to know about the history of the Honey Queen pageant and his mom won about ten years ago. She also knows that, like every other winner of that pageant, she left Hatchetfield and never looked back, meaning Max is completely alone now. She’s not sure why she cares about this complete stranger, but her heart breaks for him not having a loving home and she decides she can provide that. She’s a great mother, after all, and they already have four beautiful boys, what’s one more? Gerald isn’t as invested at first, but he agrees to it because he supports Linda in basically anything she wants to do.

-Linda keeps trying to give him expensive new things to cheer him up and make him feel like part of the family and she doesn’t understand why he’s reluctant to accept them. His dad was the type to act like providing basic needs (food, housing, etc) was a huge burden and always came with strings attached, saying stuff like “I put a roof over your head, I pay all your sports fees and you couldn’t even win that game?”. She and Gerald eventually figure it out and the next time Linda gives him something, she makes sure to tell him he doesn’t have to take it if he doesn’t want to, but it’s a gift that they got for him because they like him and they’re glad he’s here. That makes him smile for the first time since he moved in. He tells her that he’s glad he’s there, too.

-they try to stick him in an expensive private school, but he wants to stay at Hatchetfield High because he doesn’t want to give up his power there. They go back and forth over it for a few weeks and during that time, someone overhears them discussing it while out for dinner. This leads to a rumor going around school that Max is leaving and it gives all the nerds so much false hope that things could get better. In the end, they let him stay. There’s not a lot Linda and Gerald can’t get away with, but even they’re not willing to risk pulling the star quarterback out of school and making the Nighthawks lose to Clivesdale.

-Pete, Ruth and Richie do end up transferring out to get the hell away from him when he starts becoming even more of a menace, as impossible as that seems. Richie begs Paul to let him finish out high school at Sycamore and Paul reluctantly helps him get a variance. He joins the anime club and the swim team there. Sycamore isn’t as cliquey as Hatchetfield High and a lot of the kids who go there are just as “weird” as he is, so he’s actually kind of popular there and he’s much happier. Ruth starts doing online school. Being away from the constant bullying, her anxiety starts to get better and her confidence improves. She joins a local theater troupe for teens, makes tons of new friends there and lands her first ensemble role. Pete just works his ass off and graduates early, then goes off to UCLA (he gets his own CaliforMIA reprise). Lex and Hannah make it to California in this universe too because why the hell not and Pete ends up being their roommate. I just think he and Lex would be an iconic duo. They’d hate each other at first (she’s a retail worker and Pete’s canonically a rude customer, natural enemies) but then they’d start vibing and the levels of snark would be off the charts.

-When Linda and Gerald see how Max is struggling in school, they hire a tutor for him and his grades actually improve a little. He’s still a nightmare to deal with and doesn’t try that hard, but they pay this tutor such an extravagant amount that they’re willing to put up with just about anything. Just for funsies, maybe the tutor is Ziggy. Idk could be a fun comedic pairing and I like to think Ziggs is smarter than they let on and tutors on the side so their only stream of income won’t be drug dealing - they don’t want people getting suspicious of how they’re making a living.

-Linda and Gerald start going to every single football game with the boys. The whole family is decked out in an obnoxious amount of Nighthawks gear and they cheer for Max louder than anybody else. Max pretends not to care, but he secretly loves it. They’re proud of him and it’s not conditional on whether he wins or not. They prioritize him, clearing their schedules so they can come to the games and always show up when they say they’re going to. His dad never did that for him.

-Max injures his knee during one of these games and he insists he’s fine, but the coach forces him to sit out for the rest of it. He’s worried Linda and Gerald are going to be mad at him for not playing or think he’s weak for not toughing it out, but they’re both just worried about him and want to make sure he’s okay. When they get home, Gerald makes him stay off of it and ice it. Linda fusses over him and his new brothers keep him entertained while he’s laid up on the couch.

-every so often, the school calls the Monroes and tries to talk to them about a bullying incident. It’s pretty rare because Max is the star football player and the administration doesn’t really care what he does, but if it’s a particularly violent one they’ll at least make a half-assed attempt to address it for appearances’ sake. Gerald tells them “if you have that much of a problem with it YOU do something about it.” Linda then reminds them that if they do, their generous donations to the school just might dry up. Whenever Max comes home after, Gerald just laughs about it and claps him on the back, then says something along the lines of “That’s my boy, keeping those nerds in line!” Obviously, this only encourages him more.

-Linda decides to impart her wisdom on him and show him that brute force isn’t the only way to keep people in line and get what he wants. She and Gerald start to teach Max more creative, underhanded ways to hurt people and encourage him to use their wealth and connections to his full advantage. As they say, what’s the point of having money if you’re not going to enjoy it?

-As part of this lesson, Gerald fondly recounts what Linda did to that girl’s skis in that competition back in college and how it was the moment he knew she was the one. He goes on about how hot, successful and smart she is and says that Max should take her advice because she knows what she’s talking about. Max can’t put it into words, but there’s something so healing about seeing the way Gerald and Linda love and support each other. Maybe seeing this modeled teaches him how to have (somewhat) healthy romantic relationships down the line and he and Grace eventually get together and have a similar “horrible to everyone else, loving and supportive to each other/enabling to each other’s bad behavior” dynamic.

-When Max joins the family for dinner with Roman and hears the way he talks to Linda, he can’t control his temper and tells him he doesn’t care who he is, he’s going to smash his face in if he doesn’t shut the fuck up because nobody talks to Linda like that. Gerald, of course, is absolutely delighted. Linda half heartedly scolds him, but is secretly so touched that he stood up for her like that. She and Gerald discuss it, decide Max deserves a little reward and buy him a brand new Range Rover.

-After the incident with Roman, Linda tells Max that he just might be her new favorite. River overhears and this ignites a lifelong, largely one-sided sibling rivalry with Max. He starts kind of emulating Max’s bad behavior and lashing out at school to try and get Linda’s attention and when that doesn’t work, he becomes a huge overachiever instead as a way to distinguish himself from Max and make himself feel superior since Max isn’t very academically gifted. He does genuinely study and work hard but he also pulls every dirty trick imaginable to sabotage any other students standing in his way (some…unfortunate things end up happening to his competition for a few scholastic awards and the one student who’s ahead of him for valedictorian his senior year). Linda’s proud of him and showers him with praise, but all he can think about is that moment Max displaced him as the favorite. He wonders if anything he does will ever be good enough to earn that spot back.

[starcanwreckedpulp-doyoushipit]

do you ship it?

[dailyhatchetfield]

day 157 - @polyamships' polyartober day fifteen; falling asleep (alt prompt)

[thericeballofcamelot]

Linda: I have never done anything wrong, ever, in my life.

Gerald: I know this. And I love you.

[escapeaddict]

me: toxic relationships are terrible! they should break up and go to therapy!

toxic fictional ships: *exist*

me: *sweats* they should still go to therapy..?

[eldritch-ace]

I'm working on commissions rn, but I want to do other stuff too, so I would love to do some silly Hatchetfield ship doodle requests >:3

Here's pretty much all the ships off the top of my head I'd love to do. If you don't see smth here, feel free to ask! (QP just means I prefer them in a queer platonic sense, still willing to draw them romantically):

Paulkins

Also droid23/Falsekins

Nerdycule/Waylon House Party

QP Nerdy Prude Trio

Michie

QP Jägertitty

Lautski

Grace x Steph x Ruth

Halogear/Flemity

Graph/Stephgrace

Steph x Ruth

QP Spankoffschitz

QP Flemschitz/Flipschitz

QP Chaslautski

CCRPoly

Billted

Chai Coffee/Dirty Chai/MusicBox

Caramel Coffee

Charlotted

Paul x Melissa

P.E.I.P.

Lee x Mcnamara

Wilbur x Mcnamara

Swedish Barbecue

Paulkotho

Tinkoffski

Lexthan

Potseed

Holloweane/Holloduke

Barneston

Barnroe

Officer Bailey x Miss Mulberry

Ted x Officer Bailey

Holy Bastard

Honeypot

Legally Blond/Garlinda

Melissa x Woman

Tedgens

Attorney in a Hurry

Appletheosis/ Made Inevitable

Geralinda

Debalice/Aldeb

Hidgens x Workin’ Boys

Sheilinda

QP Hannah x Sophia x Daniel

Hollowebby

Wine n' Dine

[notanerdyprude]

FOR THE SHIPS POST!!

so far i have

paulkins

chai coffee (paul x ted)

billted

tedchar

lautski

nerdy prude trio

spankoffschitz

flemschitz

barneston

barnroe

geralinda

garlinda

lexthan

chaslautski

michie

stephgrace

tinkoffski

paulkotho

flemity

jagertity

debalice??? aldeb??? what is their ship name??

holy bastard

holloduke

swedish barbeque (trevor x rudolph)

so if anyone has any others to add pls rb w them!!!!

[ella-ashmore]

dont think ive ever seen one of these with only the canon couples. so

in order or when we first met them/excluding a few that wouldnt necessarily be. as well known (lucy and the ape man, the cunninghams, zach and josh, frank and sheila) or are a bit hard to define (jonlucy, jennybear) etc but i might do a followup for those ones because. i am curious !

[barnroes]

this is kind of just gerald and linda during honey queen

Marriage is about having good sex and committing unspeakable acts of violence for one another

[dailyhatchetfield]

day 63 - hot girl shit

[rhondafromhr]

Save me toxic person x enabler who adores their toxicity and is just as bad in their own way ships save me

[rhondafromhr]

“If watching your daughter give something her all embarrasses you, then you should be fuckin’ embarrassed”

TELL HIM GERALD!!! THE WAY HE STANDS UP FOR HER!!! THIS IS WHY I’M SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THEM!!!

[chaosciara]

Okay but this is so cute????

Also geralinda obviously owns my heart and I'd die for he

I mean Gerald is cute and all but like geraldina🥺

Not me naming my therapist's succulents and creating entire backstories for them

[dailyhatchetfield]

day 116 - hatchetfields hottest powercouple. and their boytoy lawyer