#georgia's tag :D

[wrecking]

ok i don't care i'm gonna be weird -- honestly very normal, just open -- in the tags

[offficial-united-states]

OK SO

THERE ARE SOME GIMMCKVERSE DISCORD SERVERS

SO

COUNTRYVERSE

HOW ABOUT CREATING A COUNTRYVERSE DISCORD? :D I CAN CREATE IT AND SEND INVITES TO ALL WILLING TO JOIN

(sorry for the tags) @nihonkokuu @definitely-britain @definitelytherepublicofireland @russia-totallyofficial @non-tyrannical-usa @true-blue-straya @totally-france @totally-germany @officialtheunitedkingdom @forever-scotland @genuinely-germany @india-official @definitely-canada @official-new-zealand @france-unofficial @cape-breton-island-itself @wales-official @yugoslavia-official @the-state-of-michigan @michigan-is-cool-trust-me @state-0f-0hio-official @virginia-state-official @the-us-navy-offical @state-of-connecticut-official @state-of-florida-official @the-state-of-georgia-official @the-real-illinois @definitely-indiana @mhm-wisconsin FFUCK WHY CAN'T I TAG YOU TWO

[whoiwanttoday]

Hey guys, it is @wildflagsure birthday today and last night she demanded I make a "really good" post for her for her birthday. She can't help it, she's from Greece but lives in the UK and what I have heard is immigrants there are always coming in and demanding things, it's why as a country they decided to set their economy on fire, because if you make your little island completely unlivable then no one will want to move there. Not that tactic I would have taken but then I try not be a hateful bigot, so who am I to talk? Anyway, besides blaming @wildflagsure for all of England's problems (and like… where was she when they lost the Empire? She can't account for her whereabouts) I do want to celebrate her birthday. By talking about myself. I mean, it is my blog, I tagged her twice, I am not sure how much more giving a person can be. I'll drive literally tens of people to her dead blog. Anyway, my favorite thought about Andi, which I will call her from here out because first I am tired of tagging and second I think it looks cooler with the E not on it but also it's short for Antigone and I can change a T to a D for a friend but I'll be dead and buried before I leave off the apostrophe if you insist on shortening Antigone to Anti'e. Anyway, my favorite thought is when she was doing a small radio show live (and doing it wrong, rather than use the service that paid for the songs rights they just played shit off of spotify because literally no one cared) I used to listen every week cause it was fun to support her but also she likes good music. There was a listener request form and I used to submit requests. I did this for a few reasons. One, I learned on tumblr every single person in the world wants more asks. It is exciting and makes them feel special. Also, by sending multiple requests or messages a show it meant they would seem very popular to other listeners and you know, fake it till you make it, that way everyone else would go, "Wow, these guys must be more famous than I realized. I should tell my friends to listen and also send in requests". And then, obviously, I like to control women and tell them what to do, so it was a real rush to send in a song title and then make her do it. Anyway, there was a time when the person she did it with referred to me as, "Our fan". And that got a snap back of, "Actually, is MY friend". It was very defensive and I appreciated that in part it came from the fact that her cohost was trying to diminish me in a way that person liked to do and Andi was willing to stand up and protect me even though honestly, I didn't care. She did, that mattered. I mean, there was a lot going on there because her cohost was one of those lowkey monsters you meet in your late teens and early 20's who you find compelling because you are too young to know better but also because you are insecure and the fact that they have absolutely no moral center is appealing because it sure must be nice to not be insecure and upset and worried about things all the time. Andi eventually moved on, don't worry. Actually, it's really cool to see that she has matured into just a totally cool as fuck lesbian bad ass. I mean, she was always those things but now she has the confidence and a really cool life that she always was going to have but I bet she was unaware of. Like, she has her own place, she has a hot girlfriend, she eats cool meals, and she can get you any drugs you want. It's pretty cool.

Anyway, today I am posting Georgia Ellenwood because in my experience Andi loves Olympic Athletes. She always goes on that she's glad someone is honoring Zeus properly. Now, sadly, Georgia Ellenwood is not going to the Olympics this year because she is still recovering from an injury. That kind of thing is always sad, athletes only have so many chances but I think she has a good future ahead of her even outside of sports because she is charming and friendly and well… looks like she does. It's not hard to imagine her being successful doing other things. And even if she felt like a good pick today because even if she isn't going to the Olympics I am willing to bet @wildflagsure would be willing to burn down a second island nation to sleep with her. Today I want to fuck Georgia Ellenwood.

[boygiwrites]

TWD Harley D. Dixon Chapter List

Daryl Dixon & Daughter OC.

Gen Tags. Found family, Daddy issues, Abuse, Hurt and comfort, Gore.

Summary. Harley D. Dixon is a tough yet sweet little girl who until the dead started eating the living, thought she had seen it all. Alongside a mismatched group of survivors in rural Georgia, Harley and her Dad are forced to leave their small life behind and learn how to survive all over again through the horrors of the apocalypse.

— TW: This fic contains canon typical violence and gore, abuse, mentioned suicide, off-screen suicide, main character death, and has been described by my lovely readers over on Ao3 as 'gritty', 'intriguing', 'intense', and 'special'. Please read with caution!

— Note: Canon is only loosely followed. Some changes have been made to certain plot points to keep it fresh and interesting / account for the added character.

❤️Cross-Posted from Ao3.

Season 1 - 2 Word Count: 180,000 Season 3 - ? Word Count: 48,000

SEASON ONE.

Chapter 1: Them That Mourn.

Chapter 2: No More Songs.

Chapter 3: My Brave Girl.

Chapter 4: Not Quite Yet.

Chapter 5: Black Out Days.

Chapter 6: Angels and Devils.

Chapter 7: Nothing's Ever Ours.

Chapter 8: In Sheep's Clothing.

Chapter 9: Rest In Piece.

SEASON TWO.

Chapter 10: Play Stupid Games.

Chapter 11: Win Stupid Prizes.

Chapter 12: Daddy Dearest.

Chapter 13: A Plan And An Execution

Chapter 14: If Heaven Weren't A Lie.

Chapter 15: Mockingbird.

Chapter 16: Custody Battles.

Chapter 17: Every Corner.

Chapter 18: Custody Battles, Part II.

Chapter 19: Dreams Don't Go Unpunished.

Chapter 20: And Still Very Beautiful.

Chapter 21: Thoughts and Prayers

Chapter 22: Growing Pains.

Chapter 23: The Type Meant for Dying.

Chapter 24: Church and State

Chapter 25: And The Type That Ain't.

Chapter 26: The Last Sunday on Earth.

Chapter 27: A New Life, Pursued.

Chapter 28: These Old Homes.

SEASON THREE.

Chapter 29: From Little Seeds.

Chapter 30: Red Handed.

Chapter 31: Maturity.

Chapter 32: The Best of Us.

Chapter 33: Picket Fences.

Chapter 34: Fresh Air.

Chapter 35: A Short Walk.

Chapter 36: Paradise.

Chapter 37: A Piece of Me.

Chapter 38: Heroes, Old and New.

[suncaptor]

hi! i hope you don't mind me asking, but i need a certified opinion on sam winchester and you seemed like the person to go to :D

could you rec me some good sam-centric fic & character studies? preferably for early seasons or pre-series?

i'm showing spn to a friend and they like sam a lot, but we are both. somewhat afraid to go into the tag lol. so I figured you could have something nice bookmarked or there's maybe a rec list i dont know about.

thanks!

Okay I actually mostly read later seasons Sam stuff (or at least s5+) because the more trauma the better <3 but here are some that are either sam studies that include earlier stuff or earlier/preseries (like kripke era)

DO check trigger warnings! since these are (mostly) pre hell (and I would not read w*) they aren't as bad as some of the sam & lucifer fics I'd share, but some still have different potentially triggering themes (like addiction, suicide, etc, so please just be careful! I'm assuming you can check the tags on ao3 <3)

also some are 18+, not sure your age but I don't personally want my followers talking to me about nsfw content if they are minors. so be wary around that too, but they're all outer links so ao3 will have them rated/stop you etc.

Sam w/ OCD rec list & my old Sam rec list

samjess

Sunlight by sp8ce, samjess

The first time Sam tastes blood it's human blood, and it feels like shame and the closest he has been to truly human wrapped up in one. He's never been so safe and in love. The second time it's electric and consuming. He has nothing left, but the desire to chase the power and hold on to the objective of revenge, only still connected at her touch. The third time, he's pretty sure it will kill him, burn him like purifying light from the inside out. --- An exploration of Sam and consuming blood. This work is the first time: with Jessica Moore.

also if you like samjess sp8ce has later seasons ghost samjess too&lt;3

sam & john

the type who doesn't burn by patrocluus

On a late October afternoon in 1997, John Winchester takes his son out into the woods and puts a bullet between his eyes.

make a mirror out of you by sp8ce - john kills jess (it's john pov though)

The thing about Jessica's death is that it makes Sa,m understand John more than anything else ever could and choose everything John's ever wanted Sam to choose. Azazel always seems to have John's silhouette.

sam / gen or multi

This Is the Way (The World Ends) by Lise

In Georgia hunting a skinwalker, Dean saw Sam. AU. Like, really.

Weblike Causality by sp8ce

Which came first? The fear or the inevitability?

instrument by sp8ce

Sam Winchester grasps with his own personhood.

Polaroid Sun Picture by sp8ce

Sam has been stalked his whole life in order to be manipulated into an instrument of his worst fears. He has no privacy to himself. He has no defence.

therefore I react by sp8ce

for a while, in the cage, all Sam sees is a tree.

(okay so I've tried to not give you any lucifer stuff but this one is a sam & learnt helplessness thesis for connecting past & present)

This Kid's Not Alright by safiyabat

What exactly did Sam get up to at Bobby's while Dean was at Sonny's? When John makes a very odd request of the older hunter, Bobby takes the boy into his home for a few months. It isn't an easy time for either of them.

the easy way out and the hardest part by queenbaskerville

Sam would rather die than be Lucifer's vessel. Lucifer will just resurrect him now, but there was a time before the seals were broken—a time before Sam broke the seals. To save the world, to save Dean—Sam knows what he has to do.

The Special Children by TheMightiestPen

After Dean reveals his Dad’s last words, he asks Sam to lay low for a while. This time, Sam says no. This time, Sam goes all in in his search for the other kids like him. S2 AU, for spnhiatuscreations on tumblr for week 5: favorite season.

sam & dean

Dear Abel by lowkey_existential_despair (it has samjess/early sam&dean basis okay)

It wasn’t always like this, is the thing. There used to be a time when caring about Dean was more than just a habit. There was a time, once, when seeing Dean with demon-black eyes would’ve been the worst thing in the world. But that was a long time ago. Now, he looks at this black-eyed version of Dean—wrapped in layers of chains, in pain, sobbing quietly—and he feels nothing. Nothing at all.

Purify by cenotaphy

"We know what happens when Sam drinks demon blood.

…but what happens when Sam drinks angel blood?"

Set at the end of season 4, before Sam gets out of the panic room.

Hell Fractal by sp8ce

Sam's last real memory is of Dean stabbing him after he let Lucifer out. Sam keeps, with varying levels of memory and awareness, waking up in the panic room. With Dean needing to kill him.

Man-in-the-middle by ambersock (who has some lovely fics <3)

Sam hears the driver’s side door open, hears footsteps approaching. He remembers that Dean still has Ruby’s demon-killing blade. Yet another voicemail fix-it.

The Choice by authoressnebula (authoressjean)

(this author has other early seasons sam&dean stuff)

One gun. One bullet. It's up to Sam and Dean to decide who will shoot the bullet…and who will die.

it’s not that i think i’m good, i know i’m evil by redskyatmorning

(author has good later seasons Sam stuff as well)

The conversation that leads up to Sam ending up in the panic room, again, to detox from demon blood.

Fade Far Away, Dissolve, and Quite Forget by Lise

You've seen isolation before, but not like this. It's not quite another hemisphere, but it's close enough.

Catharsis by BlueIris08

Sam copes with learning of Dean's promise to John in the classic Winchester way--with alcohol. Or, the drunken, angsty post-Croatoan/Hunted scene that didn't happen.

Don't Think Twice, It's All Right by WilsonTheMoose

In which Sam gets beaten up (rookie), Dean mentions the voicemail (idiot), and nothing really changes (figures). Fits into the first episode of season 5. For an anonymous prompt on tumblr asking for Dean hitting Sam in the earlier seasons. This is not quite what you wanted anon, sorry.

yeah, well, i don't want to by AreYouReady

He didn't do it on purpose. / Dean sabotages Jess's warding in pilot

Comets, Stars, Haunted Houses, and Other Things Best Observed from a Hundred Million Miles Away by occasionallyalways

See also: violent deaths; apologies; lightning. Or; Something happened in the panic room. Something went wrong. Dean finds out six years later.

sambrady

One to Save You by sp8ce

If Brady needs Sam, he'll be there immediately.

The Piece You're Missing by sp8ce

Brady can't seem to figure out why Sam won't give up on him. They have a conversation where he tries to dissect and understand why.

Out by TheMightiestPen (also sam&dean)

A god-possessed witch reveals a secret that Sam’s been keeping for a long time. The brothers handle it like mature, well-adjusted adults, for once.

sastiel

Grace (made perfect in weakness) by Sidewoundcore (CherryHollow)

After he is freed from the panic room, Castiel, rather than Ruby, is the first person to find Sam. In the end, it changes nothing at all.

atrophy & other stories by saintsurvivor

early seasons sastiel that is sam centric

Monster by Ginipig (voicemail fic so mostly sam&dean)

After everything that happened between him and Dean with the breaking of the final seal, Sam is having trouble moving on. Dean's weird, sort-of helpful angel friend wants to know why.

Not that it's any of his damned business.

Comfort by Never_x_Better

Sam's being tormented by Lucifer and Castiel just wants to help him. Nightmares, blood addiction, hallucinations, and fluff ends up leading the two friends down an interesting path.

Wishing Is Cold This Year by Lise

Dean has his head rather determinedly up his ass, so it falls to Castiel to take this one. Post 5.03ish.

what did you bury / before those hands pulled me from the earth? by starlightswait

It’s the strangest thing. Sam’s in the Cage. And then he’s not.

(technically post kripke but it's my favourite sastiel &lt;;3)

Ruby Red by sp8ce (also samruby but I don't read or write a lot of samruby)

An exploration of Sam and consuming blood. This work has Sam reminiscing on Ruby. He then has more blood forced upon him by some hunters who think they can purify him. (can be read standalone or in series)

[sugarcoated-lame]

tag game

rules: pick a song for every letter of your url and tag that many people.

thank you so much for the tag my lovely angel @sebsxphia 🥰💗🧡💗💕

s: summer’s here - sun room

u: under control - the strokes

g: georgia - phoebe bridgers

a: audrey (spending all my time with you) - the shacks

r: racetrack - beach bunny

c: crimewave - crystal castles

o: oh! - the linda lindas

a: adam - adult mom

t: time (cool version) - the vernes

e: edge of town - middle kids

d: date night - father john misty

l: let’s find an out - snail mail

a: apple cider, i don’t mind - modern baseball

m: mission to mars - rainbow kitten surprise

e: everybody’s gonna love somebody - alfie templeton

no pressure tags: @hangmanssunnies @joelsgreys @emeraldmoth @undrthelights @roosterbruiser @mothdruid @fairyheart @floydsglasses @floydsmuse @joelshoney @joelsgreenflannel @vee-bees-blog @bobfloydssunnies @alwaysmicado @rhettabbotts @catb-fics @attaboylew @freelancearsonist @just-in-case-iloveyou @darkblue-tennesseee @midnightraain @swiftispunk @pascalpvnk @teacupsandtopgun @gracieheartspedro @joels-shitty-puns @silk-spun @ryebecca and leaving the tags open for anyone else who wants to participate 🥰🧡

[aziraphales-library]

I've been watching All Creatures Great and Small (the original with Georgia Tennent's father thank you very much) with my family lately and it's given me a craving for ineffable vets. I know there's a few floating around. Thank you so much in advance! This blog is truly a Someonesend :D

You might be interested in some of the fics on our #animals tag, so check that out. Here are some where one of them in a vet (and one with a pet shop owner, but it's a similar theme)...

Demonic Pet Rescue by Caedmon (G)

When Aziraphale finds a litter of stray kittens in the alley behind his shop, he needs to take them somewhere safe. He takes them to the nearest shelter, where he meets a handsome man taking care of all the cats...

You Just Want Attention by BooknerdMiss (G)

Aziraphale is renting out his second bedroom to university student Anathema Device and her two dogs. After noticing one of the dogs exhibiting some strange behavior, he takes the pup to the vet, where he meets Dr. Crowley. Human AU. Meet-cute. (And Inspired by true events.)

Fur Get Me Not by bisasterdi (T)

Crowley's been doing just fine since he left London for a slower and quieter life in the country. He's the owner of a pet shop in a small village, spending his days in the shop helping people and their pets and his evenings...well, his evenings are quiet. It's all going fine, and then Adam Young bursts through the door to his shop, his godfather Aziraphale struggling to keep up. Up until the day he first met Aziraphale, Crowley thought he'd live out the rest of his days in solitude. Now? He's not so sure that's what he wants anymore. Written for the GO-Events Good AUmens AU Fest, to the prompt "Pet Shop".

eden animal hospital by jupiterjazzpartii (T)

Crowley doesn't need this cat. He doesn't need a crush on his cute vet, either.

My Dearest Darling by elf_on_the_shelf (E)

When Crowley first started his day he had no idea that his whole life would be completely upended like that and yet here we are. A couple of hours later and he is now a proud cat owner and in possession of another man's phone number. The cutest, most adorable man Crowley had ever laid eyes on. What is a poor sod to do but have a complete meltdown?

- Mod D

[ingravinoveritas]

Is there any consensus or speculation on whether D & M have been intimate? I've always gotten the sense that they have and their wives know about it. Having worked in the film industry for a decade, I have witnessed these open secrets first hand. And a little part of me hopes these 2 have 'connected' in a physical way.

Hi there! Well, you've very much come to the right place. Haha. My blog has pretty much been speculation galore for the past four years as to whether David and Michael have been intimate. My #ineffable lovers tag is probably the broadest in terms of my thoughts on Michael and David potentially being together (said tag originated from Michael calling David his lover in 2019, and I basically haven't been able to not think that they've hooked up ever since). For something more specific, you may want to check out my timeline of the polyamorous dynamic between Michael, David, and Georgia and how this has evolved over the past few years to strongly suggest that such an arrangement is, in fact, in place.

One tiny point of clarification, however, because you will notice that Anna is not included in the timeline post, and I keep seeing people make this assumption and it's slowly driving me crazy: Michael is not married. Anna is his girlfriend, but they are not married and never have been. So to your point of her knowing about it, I fully believe that is the case, but that the dynamic with her, Michael, and David is vastly different (and not nearly as amiable) as the one with Michael, David, and Georgia.

I am intrigued by your mention of working in the film industry, and of witnessing similar 'open secrets' in action. I have also strongly had the vibe of whatever is between Michael and David being an open secret, especially given how often they keep popping up on each other's television appearances and how mentioning one when the other isn't there seems to be a repeated and deliberate occurrence. So I would certainly be interested to hear any other insights you might have in this particular area, if you're at all inclined to share.

But to your last sentence...boy, am I with you there. Obviously, there are all kinds of relationships and dynamics and not everything has to necessarily be sexual, but there is such an incredible component of physical attraction to whatever is between Michael and David that it seems nearly impossible to think they wouldn't have connected in that way by now. There's also the fact that we know they have kissed on screen, but the evidence of their off-screen attraction is plentiful: Michael calling David's hips slinky (twice), talking about David's "sylph-like" chest, calling David the "thin dark Duke" and how he made the decision to touch his chest in a scene in GO 2, David putting his arm around Michael, David leaning/melting into Michael when Michael had his arm around David's waist...it just goes on and on.

So yes, I have speculated greatly about all of this for some time now, and it seems that recently a lot of other folks are starting to see that there is something special between Michael and David and asking questions of their own. Glad to have you here on my blog to keep the conversation going!

[talesofsorrowandofruin]

OC Outfit Tag

Thanks for tagging me, @willtheweaver! :D

I'll do this for Abi from The Power and the Glory (I based Saoridhian clothes on real outfits, mainly traditional dress from Georgia and other countries in the Caucasus, so that's reflected here):

(All photos from Pinterest)

Tagging @theimperiumchronicles, @author-a-holmes, @writingingraves, and anyone else who wants to do this! :D

[fightingalgth8rs]

I have already sent a similar ask to @dtmsrpfcringe but she didn't reply and I can understand why.

But I wanted the fandom especially the "antis" to be aware of this. As I mentioned in my previous ask if you think that you've seen the worst face of the tinhatters then you need to look again. If you refer to some posts from 2010/ 2011 from these people's blogs especially the Georgia hating blogs you'll find (and trigger warning here because this can be distressing) you'll find them speculating that there's some kind of s3xu! relationship going on btw DT and Ty the then 4 or 5 yr old that D went on to adopt.

The level of delusion and cringe is appalling and I'm no expert but these are tell tale signs of a dirty, deranged, sick criminal mind.

Ok. Holy fckn fck. This is disturbing. I have no words for this. You've said what needed to be said anon.

This is why it is important to steer clear from these people. And here is proof that this disgusting mindset didn't just start with the Sheenant rpf. It's existed long before that and we need to make sure people don't get hurt by this.

I don't know what my co admin @sakuranova07 has to say about this but this is all I can say.

Remember anon if you ever feel scared, threatened or uncomfortable bcs of these people don't hesitate to talk to me about it. We are all here for each other to help us feel better in the wake of this fckery.

🌞 Meena. x

(Nova here: added tw in the tags)

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

oh yeah BTW, idr who I sent my last ask is, so I'm gonna tag it as my state blog, but I was the one who said they liked your profile picture and said I used to have one of those lil bugs

I found it yesterday :D

I can send you a picture of it when I get home

– @the-state-of-georgia-official

:o yesssssss

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 1

• Gen Tags. Found family, Daddy issues, Hurt and comfort, Gore.

• Summary. Harley D. Dixon is a tough yet sweet little girl who until the dead started eating the living, thought she had seen it all. Alongside a mismatched group of survivors in rural Georgia, Harley and her Dad are forced to leave their small life behind and learn how to survive all over again through the horrors of the apocalypse.

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

❤️Cross-Posted from Ao3.

Author's Note. Here we gooo! Argh, I'm so excited.

I've been wanting to write something like this for a long, long time. I've read just about every 'Daryl has a daughter' story out there, and now I've finally got my own to share. I just love Daryl, and Daryl with a kid is a whole other thing. We all know he wouldn't be the perfect parent, so you bet I'm gonna play right into that. He's gonna swear, he's gonna be strict, and he's gonna mess up. As for Harley (Yes, as in the motorcycle brand), I love her too. So ready to write her.

This story will cover the general plot of the show. To keep things fresh, I've made sure that almost every canon scene has undergone at least one small change. Plus, of course, many new scenes. Occasionally, I'll make bigger changes just to keep you on your feet! Nobody's safe! I'm also gonna be expanding on all the characters. And lastly — FOUND FAMILY! Piles and piles and piles of found family, eventually. I live for found family.

Please enjoy reading! :)

My Uncle Merle died today.

I'm sitting in a crinkly green camping chair, watching embers die.

I don't wanna think about my Uncle right now, so I think about something else.

The fire was built last night by Glenn and Morales. Then Lori came along this morning very quietly and made it alive again with logs and wads of notebook paper. Thinking about facts is easy. It's like sucking on a plain candy that tastes like nothing. There's a navy-blue blanket across my lap with three holes in it, perfect for nibbling, poking, and ripping. Dale gave it to me when the cold settled in this afternoon. He told me he reckons it's around June, as he covered my shoulders, which used to be his niece's birthday.

He says she looked a little like me. That means she's dead. So many people are dead, now.

A thin log in the campfire cracks and tumbles over after trying to stay upright all morning. I hope I don't look like that log.

I can hear Officer Rick approaching. My stomach becomes a stone.

I can tell it's Rick because he's got one of them power walks that you can hear coming from a mile away, which I think makes him pretty stupid. He's loud, and loud is dangerous, and dangerous is stupid. My Dad's not like that. Unless he's angry or running, ain't nobody hearing my Dad coming; especially not no squirrels.

He's almost as big as my Grandpappy Dixon, who people used to say was as big as a house, and he wears super heavy boots from a hunting store near our house — but he's still not loud, or dangerous, or stupid. Not like Officer Rick.

"Hey, Harley."

I think I hate Officer Rick. I think I hate everyone.

And I think I might be crying now, too. I focus on twirling the blanket strings around my finger so I have something very simple to think about, which is that it hurts real bad when I twist it tight. I see Rick crouch down in front of me. He takes a while to say anything else, and it's prolly 'cause he's tryna be real careful, so he don't make me cry even more.

If my Dad weren't out hunting, he'd prolly slap Rick and everybody else that's tried badgering me today dead for tryna do his job for him. I feel like, just by sitting here, I'm disobeying him. Rick ain't my Daddy.

"We, uh..." He clears his throat. "Me and Lori, and some other folks are uh... Well, we're all a little worried about you, honey, okay?"

I imagine a small group of folks gathered by the RV right now, watching me and Rick; wondering if he's gonna be the one to get through to me.

I'm worried for when my Daddy comes back. When he finds out about Uncle Merle, he's gonna be fuming. He's gonna be like one of them cartoon characters with the bright red faces and the smoke comin' outta their ears, stomping all around, and he's prolly gonna kill somebody. It's prolly gonna be Rick. He always told me cops are bastard liars, and that they can't help us.

I look up at Rick. Yep, I've been crying.

Rick's all blurry, but I can still make out his ugly Sheriff's badge and his scary blue eyes and his frowning eyebrows that look like clenched fists, and I can tell he's been waiting to be the one to talk to me. I bet he thinks it makes him better than everyone else; better than my Uncle Merle, who he left to die just 'cause he ain't like him. I wanna kick Rick right in the face. I think he knows this, but he doesn't move.

"First off, I wanna say that I'm sorry about what happened to your Uncle Merle." Rick says all nice and gentle.

Nothin' happened to him.

It weren't no freak accident, which is what Uncle Merle used to say happened to my Momma.

Rick killed him.

"I know he meant a lot to you. And I'm sorry. If I had'a known he had a niece to come back to, maybe I woulda been a little wiser with my decision makin'. But Harley," He tilts his head and puts a hand on my knee for this part. "You gotta know, like I know, that your Uncle was a danger to us all."

There's a little angry parasite inside of me. It's been growing and growing ever since the group came back from Atlanta, and I couldn't find my Uncle Merle in the crowd. I've never noticed my Uncle Merle so much than when I realised he wasn't there. It was like there was the wrong amount of space left in the air and Rick was taking up the too much of it. Ever since the cars showed up, everything has been wrong, wrong, wrong.

Ever since Rick showed up.

"If I hadn't stepped in when and how I did," Rick says, "Your Uncle wouldda gotten us all in a lotta trouble."

Another log crumbles in the campfire. My finger aches and pulses around the string.

That hungry little parasite — hungry for Rick to hurt like I'm hurting, needing it more than anything — makes me tell him, "I wish he did." And again, because it feels good. Rick becomes even more blurry, as my voice makes an embarrassing hicking noise. "I wish you died."

I expect to be hit. That's what happens sometimes, when little girls don't know their place.

Tellin' adults I want them dead — That ain't my place. And I know it. I just don't care.

My Uncle Merle wasn't a danger, he was just Uncle Merle; Has been since I could talk. He used to feed me bits of his sandwich out on the deck back at home, like the tomato, 'cause he ain't like the taste. He used to fix my bike when it was broken. He used to make sure I was the first one to open presents at Christmas, and help me wrestle the wrapping when there was too much tape. He used to pull my wobbly baby teeth out for me and let me outside without shoes. He wasn't mean, or bad, or loud, or dangerous, or stupid; at least not always. He wasn't the one that got my Momma killed. He was good. And now he'd dead.

If someone had to die, I wish it had'a been Rick — Stupid, noisy, idiot Rick who ain't shed one single tear after what he done to my Uncle Merle.

I wanna get hit. I want him to hit me so bad that I'm allowed to hit him back.

"Okay." Rick says, and I can't breathe.

I feel like everything goes silent throughout camp, like the chairs and the cars and the people are all holding their breaths like I am. He actually looks a little sad, which feels really, really bad, because I wanna be angry.

"Okay. That's okay."

But as I think about my Uncle Merle, and the tomatoes, and my old bike, and what Christmas used to feel like, and my Daddy, and how he ain't even know about Merle yet, I realise I'm just really, really sad.

I can't even see Rick anymore, my eyes are so watery. My whole body hurts from being sad. I feel like I'm sick and I need to go to the doctor, but I don't even know what for. There aren't even any doctors here. Just two bastard liar cops, some campers, and a space where my Uncle Merle should be.

I think, after a while, Rick leaves.

My Dad still keeps his wallet.

It's in a backpack under his sleeping cot. He says that everything inside that bag will keep us alive some day, if we ever need to leave the quarry camp. He said I need to know exactly where it is so that I can grab it if he can't. He showed me everything the night we got here, because he forced me to, because it's important. The other kids don't learn stuff like this from their parents. It makes me feel smart. I'm in on a secret. He showed me the bug spray, which keeps our skin healthy from bug diseases, and he showed me the flashlight, which has two batteries and a big black button. He showed me the compass, the box of matches, the big knife, the little knife, the rope, and the map. It's like a Jenga tower. If we lose even one thing from the backpack; everything topples, and we die — I die. You gotta listen t'me, chicken. My Daddy's always been like this.

But the wallet made no sense.

We don't gotta pay taxes no more, like Merle said. I don't know what taxes are, except they're bad, and gone, and nobody liked them anyway. And I saw my Dad burn all his money in a campfire one night, so it can't be that.

It's the pictures, Dad told me. He flipped it open like a book, and we looked at 'em together on top of his sleeping bag. I felt like crying for a second because we forgot all my storybooks when we left our house, but Daddy hates it when I cry, so I dried up. Crying is for babies, and I'm a big girl. He showed me a photo of an actual baby, and after he touched the baby's face with his fingertip, he said the baby was me. I didn't think I could look like that. He stopped talking for a while. I listened to the cicadas in the trees to pass the time while he touched the photo. Then it was bedtime.

I'm looking at the photo now, waiting for him to get back.

I was a very pink baby. I was only the size of his forearm, which in the photo, hasn't been tattooed yet. The tattoo of my name is missing, which goes up his wrist in curly letters. Harley Davidson Dixon. It's the name of a motorcycle. The tattoo of the skull and the bleeding angel are missing, too. He's fixing my baby blanket around my chin. I guess he's been doing that since the day I was born. Every night, at least up until last week, my Dad tucks me into bed and sings me the same song. Hush little baby, don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird. I like his voice when he sings to me. Usually, he's yelling, or grumblin', but in those twenty seconds before I have to go to sleep, and nobody else is listening, he's softly whispering the lyrics to me, and touching on my ears and my cheeks. In the photo, he's crying down into his smiling mouth. That's something he doesn't do anymore.

The next photo is of us at the zoo. I know it was taken on one of the weekends I was at my Dad's house, because my Momma's not in this one. Just my Dad and two of his friends, I think, who are throwing rock star hands in the air. I'm wearing a black shirt with a videogame character on it that my Dad likes, and brown pants. I'm sitting on my Dad's hip as we pose in front of three giant elephants. My Dad's got a tiny purple backpack over his shoulder that makes him look sorta funny. It used to be mine. I'm looking at the elephant's long, silly-straw trunk as it tries to sniff us, but my Daddy's lookin' at me. I wish I remembered this day.

The third photo is a school photo with a swirly blue background. I remember this one. My Momma did my hair that day.

I know why he keeps his wallet, now. Just like how we need the bug spray, and the matches, and the rope, and the knives, and the map, and the flashlight to stay alive — I think my Dad needs these photos. They won't keep him warm or stop bugs from chewing on him, but he needs them.

I shove the wallet back where I found it, 'cause I'm not meant to be goin' through my Dad's things.

My Dad comes back while I'm vomiting under a tree.

At first, he doesn't see me. He calls for me to come get my little butt over there, so I can help him and Uncle Merle stew up some rabbits for dinner but when he hears me retch, he comes running over. I hear his crossbow drop and some more people call after him.

One minute, Lori and Amy are holding back my hair and patting my shoulders the best they can, and the next, my Daddy's forcing his way in. I'm rocking and I'm swaying like I'm on a life raft in the ocean, and I can hear Rick's voice and then Shane's and then Dale's. My Dad grabs the back of my neck and squeezes it, the way Lori and Amy would never know how to do, and tells me to lean forward some more. It works. I vomit up a chunky puddle of peaches and jerky into the dirt.

Then, I'm empty, and I'm crying — crying hard — into my Dad's lap.

"Someone wanna tell me what the Hell's goin' on here?" He snarls at whoever's around.

Feels like half the camp is here.

"How 'bout we all just try—" Shane's suggesting, but my Dad cuts him off.

"How 'bout ya'll just spit it out? And where the Hell's my brother?"

That makes me bury deeper into my Dad's legs, moaning and hiccupping. He puts a hand over my head. He's clocked the problem.

"Where the Hell's my damn brother?"

"Look, Daryl," Shane levels, "I'm just gonna come out and say it, alright? There was a problem in Atlanta."

My Dad's panting, now. "What fuckin' 'problem'?"

"Listen—"

"He dead?" Underneath me, my Dad's muscles are lurching and stopping, lurching and stopping, like he wants so much to just jump up and knock Shane to the ground, but he won't bring himself to leave me. The camp has gone completely silent.

Shane stammers. I've never heard Shane stammer. "We're— We're not sure."

The silence just keeps on goin' and goin' and goin', and somehow, it's even scarier than the yelling.

"There's no easy way to say this," Rick says, voice lowered. I wonder what my Dad looks like; if I was right about the cartoon thing.

Dad presses my head further into his stomach. "Who're you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"'Rick Grimes'." He spits, like it's an insult. It is. Bastard cop liar. "You got sum' you wanna tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all." Lies Rick. "So I handcuffed him on a roof; Hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there."

After he says this, something in the air must have changed; something must have snapped without even makin' a sound, because Lori's whispering to me that I should follow her back to camp, like we're running out of time. She tries to pull me away, but I kick her; kick her hard, in the shin. She tries again. I realise she's trying to separate me from my Dad. Then, I realise he's sorta shaking. Lurching, stopping, lurching stopping. Silence, silence.

"Lemme get this straight." Dad whispers, and it's not the nice kind, like when he sings. "You're tellin' me that you handcuffed my brother to a roof."

Glenn's pulling at me now, too. Nobody else moves a muscle.

"And you left him there?!"

This time, he lurches and he doesn't stop. Glenn catches me as I'm flung from my Daddy's hip, and he passes me off to Lori as Dad goes lunging at Rick. The brown pebbles go flying up into the air. My Dad tackles Rick at the waist, and they crash into the leaves and the twigs, and his fist — The one with my birth date tattooed on each knuckle — goes smack, smack, smack, into Rick's cheek. There's yelling; scrambling. Glenn and Shane pull my Dad off of Rick, and that smacking sound stops. Dad beats Shane offa him and then, — 

"Watch the knife!" T-Dog yells. Now there's a swishing sound, and grunting sounds, and I was right — My Daddy's gonna kill Rick.

My Daddy's killed someone before. He did it on accident, 'cause he got so angry that he didn't stop until the guy was dead and gone, which means that it was aggravated manslaughter. It was in the afternoon, just like it is right now, and I was playin' in the front yard in the sprinklers. My Dad and Uncle Merle were in the open garage, smoking and poking at their bikes with tools. Ronnie lived two trailers down. I was small, and easy to pick up, so I don't remember much, but Ronnie snatched me up right there in the yard. My Daddy says he was gon' take me. But he didn't let him. Ronnie got chased into the woods, and for two days, my Daddy and Uncle Merle searched for him. Then they beat him so bad his Momma ain't recognise him when the ambulance people dragged him out in a big black bag, and the cops took my Daddy away while the sun rose. I wasn't allowed to see him for four and a half years.

I need my Dad. Suddenly, I'm shrieking at him to stop, even though I want Rick dead so bad. By now, Shane's got my Dad in a chokehold up against a tree. Are he and Rick allowed to take my Daddy away? Lori and — I think that's Amy — are shushin' me, but I just keep hittin' on them and shouting.

I writhe in the dirt. "Stop! Daddy!"

"Damn pigs!" Dad growls. "You're stressin' out my kid, now! Lemme the Hell go!"

Shane laughs. "Nah, I think it's better if I don't." Then he turns to Lori, because what my Dad said is true. "Get Harley out of here."

I don't let her move me when she tries.

Dad struggles. "Chokehold's illegal, bastard!"

"You can file a complaint later." Shane scoffs. "We got all day here."

Rick steals my Dad's knife off the ground and gets in his face. His cheek is all red and purple. The fight's over. "What I did was not on a whim," He tells my Dad straight. "Your brother does not work and play well with others. I did what had to be done in the moment, to keep us all alive."

He's lyin'. He's lyin' again. My Uncle Merle chopped these people's firewood and brought them meat. He worked well.

My Dad shoots out a foot to try hit Rick in the crotch. He misses. Shane pushes his face harder into the tree.

"It's not Rick's fault." T-Dog holds up his hands, coming close. "It's mine. I had the key. I dropped it."

"You couldn't pick it up?" Dad sasses.

"It fell in a drain." T-Dog serves up this answer like it means anything at all. I hate him.

"If that's 'posed to make me feel better, it don't." 

"Well, maybe this will." T-Dog's lookin' at me, now, too. "The door to the roof — I locked it with a padlock so the geeks couldn't get to him. There's a good chance he's still alive."

I heard this all before, when all them people kept coming up to me at the campfire. Lori told me to get some food in my stomach; the peaches and jerky. Shane tried to make me go play with Carl. T-Dog said sorry over and over again. Dale gave me the blanket. Rick made me cry. I know how this goes, though. Gettin' someone killed and killin' them with your actual hands are the same thing. I know that.

"To Hell with all'a ya'll!"

He shakes Shane off and beelines for me. He takes me from Lori with bloodied hands — Rick's blood — and I let him yank me by the back of my shirt to my feet, and I fall into his chest when he crouches. His breath is heavy on my neck. Even his skin is hot.

Lori's pale as an egg. I think she's scared of my Dad.

He takes a big breath, stands up, and drags me by the hand back to our tent without sayin' another word.

[me1-atonin]

saw a ship poll by @aledradio and knew i had to make a friendship one :D

[transnbgenderqueeeeeer]

username song game / rules: but a song for every letter of your username

T Teenager in Love by Neon Trees

R Rock to my Roll by Anarbor

A All to You by Sabrina Claudio

N Normal Problems by Honeychurch

S Stronger by The Score

N Northern Attitude by Noah Kahan

B Black Swan by The Struts

G Georgia on my Mind by Willie Nelson

E Electric Love by BØRNS

N No Hopers, Jokers, and Rogues by The Fisherman's Friends

D Daniel by Elton John

E Evermore by Dan Stevens

R Raised by Wolves by The Interrupters

Q Queer Girls by Akward Marina

U un million by Pomme

E Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

E EP 1: Adult by Ian McConnell

E Everything's Fine (Nuke Song) by Roe Kapara

E Everybody's Gay by Lizzo

E Explosion by Zolita

E Enemy Estrogen by Art Project

R Running Kind by Merle Haggard & The Strangers

<tags: @enby-positivity @ecoqueer @energievie @enby-positive @genderenvyelimination @genderfluid-culture @genderpunks @genderfucked-culture-is @gendereuphoriahours @letters-to-lgbt-kids @queercripintersex @queer-love-4-women @transmascsteveharrington @transincel @trans-mlm-aesthetics @transfagcore @your-bigender-big-brother @zukkahellyeah>

[0owhatsamsays]

Thanks, @9ndreus for tagging me <3

[TAG SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KNOW AND/OR SOME OF YOUR BESTIES]

favorite color: Purple and black

last song: Recently I am obsessing over Måneskin.

last movie: Alice in Worderland 1999 (remembering childhood :D)

currently watching: Rewatching Good Omens... I can't get into anything else after this 2nd season...

other stuff I watched this year: Oh too many things, but I enjoyed a lot Ginny and Georgia, Severance, Wednesday, From, What We Do in The Shadows, and Young Sheldon.

shows I dropped this year: The last of us...

currently reading: I am currently reading London by Edward Rutherford (historical fiction about London that begins from the creation of the world to nowadays, and every chapter is telling the story of some of its citizens)

currently listening to: Playlist: Måneskin, Point North, Catch Your Breath, Yungblud

currently working on: I have 3 jobs. One main 9 to 5 and two side jobs, so they take a lot of my time but besides that, I am writing a Good Omens fan fiction.

current obsession/s: Obsessions? Who? ME? (she said, while the voice in her head goes GOOD OMENS GOOD OMENS GOOD OMENS)

No pressure to join, but tagging a few mutuals that I see more frequently: @kaiannanthi @dramamines @midwife-slash-cobbler @hedgebotherer @star-o @vestaldestroyer @aloeverahhh