onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

i fucking hate fruit flies literally get out of my face im not a fruit

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

can you tell i really like the winter outfits

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

I'm having a good time :)

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

please god stop talking about diets and weight loss in front of kids. especially if those kids are girls. and especially if you’re someone those kids look up to. but really just stop talking about about diets and weight loss when children are in earshot at all. I promise you you’re doing far more harm than good.

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

AND III

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

replying to emails on my hands and knees begging please beautigul sex toy company the dick you sent me has air bubbles i'm not lying there's bubbles i cant use this dick tell me do i send her back do i get a refund do i get a free dick pleas e ... how is a man meant to jerk it in this situation

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

*blows up*

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

At this point I'm considering a phalloplasty out of pure spite

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

i made you a cookie but i fucked it with my penis until there was nothing

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

never underestimate my ability to stay tf home

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

the thing about having a job is i just don’t want to do it. Sorry

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

Gordon "this is bloody raw!" "Idiot sandwich" Ramsey apologizes to a man for unknowingly calling a man a nickname his abusive dad used to call him and offered to call him a different insult.

But the majority of people online will spontaneously combust the second a trans man politely asks you to please not call him "girl".

It's like respecting boundaries is not that hard you're just being a big baby about it.

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

isn’t it fucking crazy how much you can miss someone you don’t remember

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

almost fucking died

[onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice]

Always remember the golden rule.

Pepsi into milk, of an angel's ilk,

Milk into pepsis, gives you sepsis