#geordi just looks really fit in that uniform

[spaceshipchicken]

I recently started watching tng and i really wanted to draw something with Data and Geordi, but unfortunately i am in no way profound so this happened …

[gallavichsreddie1128]

The Measure of A Man (Data)

Description: Bruce Maddox wants to take Data and study him without his consent so the enterprise has to come up with a backup plan that involves marriage....

Word Count:2,128

Warning: Some Smut

Request: Data star trek requests open??? 😳😳 I would love to see your take on an arranged marriage/marriage of convenience with data? And reader showing data that he's capable of feeling- especially love? 💗💗

Author’s note: Spoilers for S2 E9

Y/N’s eyes widened at Picard’s words. Her jaw dropped in shock and the world seemed to stop. Y/N was the nurse of the enterprise and she did find herself in dangerous situations at times but this was just crazy. “You and Data are to be married.” She didn’t quite understand why it had to be her.

But as she looked around at the table it made sense. Troi and Riker were basically together and Beverly and Picard had something going on. She did not. Picard looked at her with worry as she didn’t speak. “What?” She finally asked. Picard explained to her that she and Data needed to get married in order to keep Data from Maddox, who wanted to do tests and research on him.

If Data is married and can be proven to have emotions then Bruce Maddox cannot take him away. Y/N gave a deep breath and looked over at Data who stared back at her. I mean at least she would be doing it to help stay, right? She did believe that Data was a being and not a robot. Definitely not a lab rat either. “Okay.” She said in a quiet voice as she stared at her soon to be husband. “You will need to move into my quarters as well.” Data told her.

Y/N sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked beautiful. The dress fit her body well and it was the exact one she had always wanted. Her hair was half up, half down and her makeup was simple but she looked stunning.

Troi and Beverly helped her get ready. “You look beautiful, Y/N.” Troi smiled at her and Y/N smiled back, though the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She felt nervous about this as if this was something that she saw coming. She wondered if Data was going to stay in his uniform or get a tux. “It’s almost time.” Beverely tells her. 

Picard offered to walk her down the aisle given the fact that she couldn’t get her parents to come that fast. Y/N was shaking as she waited for the wedding to start. “You look great.” Picard said to her. He could tell that she was nervous and wondering if she was making the right decision. Y/N gave him a small smile and thanked him as the music started playing.

Troi and Beverely walked down the aisle with Riker and Geordi. Y/N gave one last deep breath before she began walking. Data looked amazing. He was not in his starfleet uniform which she loved. The tux fit him perfectly and his hair was still slicked back. She couldn’t imagine him any other way. Data, who claims he cannot feel, couldn’t stop staring at Y/N as she walked down the aisle.

They made eye contact and Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach. Data held out his hand for her to take. She smiled as she did and they faced each other. As Picard spoke she couldn’t help but get lost in the android’s eyes. She never really thought about him like this but ever since she found out that she had to marry him, it was all she could think about.

Before she knew it, they were putting the rings on each other’s fingers and kissing to seal the deal. His lips felt nice against hers, almost like they were made for each other. As they walked down the aisle everyone clapping and cheering, Y/N felt happy about this. She wondered if Data felt the same. 

Data, Worf and Riker helped her move into Data’s quarters. Y/N sat on the couch and pet Spot. She couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. “That should do it.” Riker said as he carried her last box. She smiled and thanked him. Data was thanking Worf for the help before they both left. Y/N looked around the room that she now called hers.

Data watched her as they took it all in. “You may decorate it with your things, if you would like.” He told her. “Thank you, Data.” Data sat next to her on the couch and she looked over at him. “The bed is yours since I do not require sleep and the bathroom.” He tells her. “So, what do you do in your free time?” She asked him. He told her that he paints. “Do you have any paintings you would like to share?” She asked and he got up to show her.

He was really good at it but that was to be suspected. “What is it that you like to do?” He asked her. She told him that she loved to watch TV and Movies in her free time and hang in Ten Forward. “What is your favorite movie?” He asked and she answered.

He hadn’t seen that one and would like to watch it with her sometime. She agreed and they kept asking each other questions. “I do have a sexuality program if you are interested.” Her jaw drops. “What?” “I am fully functional.” She never thought about it like that. Sure she remembers when he and Tasha slept together but never asked how it was.

“I know that we are married now but I am not one to jump under the covers with someone that I barely know on a romantic level.” She tells him. “Jump under the covers?” She explains that she means to have sex. 

Data had prepared a meal before Y/N got home so that they could get to know each other better. Y/N walked through the door and smelled food. “Data, are you here?” She asked and saw him prepping the table. “I made dinner.” He said and she smiled at the sight.

“This is a lovely surprise.” She said and he pulled out her chair for her. She thanked him and took a seat. “Data, this is lovely.” She told him as she ate. “I had help from the captain on what to make.” She nodded and took a sip of the wine.

“Well I really appreciate it.” “You had told me a few days ago that you do not engage in intercourse unless you know the person on a romantic level.” Y/N nodded, confirming her words. “I figured that as a married couple we should explore these things together.”

“Data, do you even see me like that?” She asked. He looked at her confused until he got what she meant. “Ah. I do not have the ability to feel emotions but I do think you are very attractive.” He tells her.

“Now I do not think that is true.” She tells him. “You do not view yourself as attractive?” He asked, confusion laced in his voice. She wanted to laugh, “No silly. I think you are capable of emotions.” He did not. “If you are willing to do all this for me and think that I’m attractive. Isn’t that saying something?” He looked down for a moment as he never quite thought about it like that. 

Data was on the bed still in uniform while Y/N was on top of him as they made out. It has been weeks since their first official date and they were taking things slow. Data was a great kisser and knew exactly what to do with his tongue.

The first time they had kissed after the wedding was after the first date but now they were to the point of making out. His tongue was pretty much down her throat as they heavily kissed each other. Data did not need air so they only pulled away when Y/N needed to breathe. “My gosh Data. You’re so good at that.” She praised him.

He moved to kiss her neck. She sighed as he left a hickey or two. And while she was trying to catch her breath from the intense make out session, him kissing her neck didn’t help that. She pulled away from him completely and looked down at him. He looked perfect. Literally! He was not sweating or even blushing.

His hair was still neat and everything. “Wow.” She breathed out. “Is everything okay?” He asked her and she nodded. “Yes you just don’t look like you’ve been kissing me or anything.” He explains that since he is an android he does not sweat or has any issue with his hair or face. She nodded and they went back to kissing. 

Maddox glared at Y/N as she sat by her husband’s side. The trail was nerve wracking and his glare did not help that. Picard assured her that them being married would give them a better chance.

Y/N had hope that was the case and that Data could stay. Not only because he deserved to have his own rights but because she was falling in love with him. Even if he couldn’t love her back, which she believed to be a lie. Even knowing that they were married, Maddox refused to believe that she was in love with what he called a machine.

Y/N wanted to punch the guy but just glared as he spoke. “He can’t care about you like that. He does not have the ability to love you. He’s probably using you.” Using her for what?

This wasn’t even Data’s idea. Maddox had no idea that this was arranged or anything like that. He just jumped to that conclusion by himself. While Data does not believe that he was capable of love, Y/N did and was going to prove it. 

Data held Y/N’s hips as just thrusted on top of him. He watched in awe as she moaned and whimpered at the feeling of him inside of her. Her hips were going faster and faster but still it felt like they were making love. Her hands were placed on his as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back to let out a moan.

Data could not feel sex like she could but it was shown that he felt it in a different way. “Data.” She moaned his name as she chased her high. One of his hands that was placed on her hip moved up to play with her boobs. She gasped as he pinched and rubbed her nipple. The feeling heightens the pleasure.

She grabbed the hand playing with her nipple and brought it to her mouth. She started sucking on his fingers while looking at him. He was not aware that he could feel what he was feeling but when he let out a gasp. He realized that he was orgasmimg.

Her hips stuttered and shook as she whined his name as she came as well. He was in a state of shock for a second as she collapsed on his chest. He was able to orgasm. “Mmm Data are you okay?” She asked and looked up at him.

“Yes I was not aware that I was able to have an orgasm.” Her eyes widened at his words, “And you did?” She asked, sitting up. He nodded and she hugged him, “Data, that’s great!” She kissed him. “How did it feel?” She asked and even with his big words and scientific thoughts, as he explained to her how it felt, she felt herself get turned on again. 

It was Data’s turn to talk and Y/N had her fingers crossed that he, himself, could convince the judge that he was his own being and not just a machine. Picard had asked him about the things he had planned to take with him if he was to leave the enterprise.

Each thing held a special meaning to him that proves he was more than a machine. “What about that woman over there? Nurse Y/N.” Data looked at her and it was like the first time they saw each other at the wedding. “While I have never been capable of emotions and feelings, Nurse Y/N taught me that I was false about that. I have had my first experiences with different emotions because of her.” He said, not breaking eye contact with her.

“What kind of emotions?” Picard asked him. “Love and happiness.” While Y/N was allowed to smile she couldn’t look surprised or run up and hug and kiss him like she wanted too. She smiled at him as he said this. She mouthed “I love you too” to him. 

Though Maddox didn’t get his way in the end, Data was a free man. Data was willing to send logs to him about his life and time on the enterprise. And though this meant that they did not have to stay married any longer they chose to stay married since they loved each other and thanks to Y/N, Data realized that he did have emotions and that he can feel and experience them.

[jaegermonstrous]

Rewatching some TNG, and I've got thoughts:

S4E18: Identity Crisis

I love the premise. Space mystery is a great starting spot.

And it's a Geordi episode! My man! And we get a friend from the past! Heck yes.

And the mystery thickens! Disappearances, torn uniforms, shuttle crashes. I love when TNG does horror/suspense eps, they're surprisingly good at it.

I remember how this one goes though, and I've already got Questions. Why can't Geordi see the frog guys? He's got shrimp vision.

And things look mysterious! Grim even! But they're gonna Do Science About It, and honestly that's something I love about Star Trek. Things might look hopeless and grim, but if we can just Understand What Is Happening, we can Make A Difference.

And Data's worried about Geordi! I didn't grow up a DataForge shipper, but dang if it don't fit. "Strongly motivated" indeed.

Also I love the creature effects in this one. The blue veins, the goofy lil hand paws, they work so well to show the transformation. The scene in sick bay gets top marks from me. Like I know it's a black light and some funky paint on latex, but dang it works really well.

Also shout out to the actors who did the holodeck simulations.

Nope, still got the same question. Why can't Geordi see the frog people? If they cast shadows, he should be able to see them. Yeah yeah, they generate a dampening field, but a person-shaped dampening field would still be weird as hell, right? Like the tricorder might not notice anything because it's as smart as we made it, but Geordi has a brain behind his shrimp vision. I know it's not the point of the episode, but it bothers me.

Oh no! The frog paws!

Also I forgot Nurse Ogawa is in this! She's great.

I do love how the technobabble solution to this episode is a black light.

Also another question. They said there's no life signs on the planet, so why is it filled with frog noises? Y'all expect me to believe the wind is making frog sounds?

Also I love these kinds of episodes. Both because we get to see lots of good character moments, but also because it's one of those Space Is Just Like That episodes, where Things Go Awry because Space Is Dangerous. It's so easy to get bogged down in our day to day and forget how weird our planet is, let alone space.

[jennawynn]

Chronotrek TNG Part 4

We're sailing through season 2!

2x11- Contagion

Appearing out of nowhere sure sounds like a transporter.

It always amazes me that medical personnel have no medical first aid training outside of their tech. If tech is so automated that anyone can use it, specialists at least should be trained in what to do if an emergency renders tech useless. They don't know what a splint is, FFS.

2x12- The Royale

Beyonce meme: NASA?!?

2033 and 2079- when the flag had 52 stars. Puerto Rico and DC statehood in the next 9? It's possible.

The laugh I laughed when "It was a dark and stormy night... (heavy sigh)"

2x13- Time Squared

In the beginning, they seemed to be establishing a 'time travel always happened' explanation of time travel that seemed to track with Pike in SNW and the red lights in Disco, but by the end of the episode, I'm not so sure anymore.

2x14 The Icarus Factor

Hey, dad's from Liar Liar. Also ew.

Why would Geordi ever believe a Klingon ceremony involved a ballroom and formalwear :joy:

2x15 Pen Pals

They have memory erasing? Did I know that before? Nice to see Pulaski being less of a jerk to Data.

2x16 Q-Who?

Why do they even have a food replicator in engineering if drinks aren't allowed? (Also imagining someone saying you can't have coffee in the plant causing a mutiny lol)

PEE-card or Pih-CARD?

Borg reminds me of Scorpius from Farscape- like who raided the BDSM shops for these costumes?

Picard's point as he says engage is almost comedic and out of place. Almost fan-servicey sometimes.

2x17 Samaritan Snare

Can you make our ship go? (Yes) We look for things to make our ship go.

They're gonna steal him, aren't they?

They stole him.

Why would surgeons wear full red (and no masks!) Of course this is a bloodless show, so they're not gonna show splatter anyway. But apparently they don't have to cut anymore either. How you replace a heart without cutting I do not know.

2x18 Up the Long Ladder

They really softened Pulaski huh? Or was it just towards Data?

This is another abortion analogy- are they allowed to steal DNA to procreate? Riker even says 'the right to exercise control over our own bodies."

They really should have asked the women's opinions about the arrangement first, though. There's like 3 of them and they have to have multiple children via multiple men. That sounds like my nightmare.

2x19 Manhunt

Man. I can't believe she'd snipe her own daughter like that lol

2x20- Emissary

Half-Klingon, huh? Humans really are the sluts of the universe. I usually see this kind of thing (there are half-elves and half-orcs, but always half-human, etc.) explained as humans are naturally more diverse within our race compared to other races which means we're more capable of inter-species breeding. You never see the same diversity of skin tone, size, features, personality, etc. in fantasy/sci-fi races as you do in real humans (partially because they have to be recognizable as Vulcan/elf/Klingon/halfling, etc.)

2x21 Peak Performance

sheds a tear look how far Pulaski's come.

One of my fave TNG gifsets here- It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose.

2x22 Shades of Gray

As far as clip shows go... it wasn't the worst I've seen.

3x1 lol Wes's little pimple face in 4k.

The uniforms are certainly thicker! AND collared! Yay!

All due respect to Sir Pat Stew, but Brent Spiner might have been the best actor on that set. The range he had to show.

Nanite civilization. Do we ever check in on them again?

3x2 Hey that voice is recognizable. Oh! Mrs. Doubtfire and Liar Liar (again!)

You don't understand the scope of my crime. I didn't kill just one Husnock or a hundred or a thousand. I killed them all. All Husnock everywhere. Are 11,000 people worth 50 billion? Is the love of a woman worth the destruction of a species?

We are not qualified to be your judges. We have no law to fit your crime.

God what would you even do if you wanted to penalize him for genocide? There's nothing you COULD do to a creature with that power... good thing he's punishing himself.

[actionfigurebullshit]

My Excuse This Time

I've had a cold making its way through its 4th week. I've been in a time warp, forever stuck in a loop of those early symptoms when you start getting a cold, right when it starts to suck, though it might not yet be in your lungs, no fever yet, but you feel like it anyway, sensitivity to pain, etc.

I bought two O'Brien action figures and the TNG bridge. That had to be written down somewhere. I've wanted one of those for a long time, but they're cost prohibitive. How can I justify that? Sometimes, these things are being sold on eBay by part. I'll see just the bridge base, and it's going for 45 with 25 shipping, a viewscreen will set you back 40 dollars. I found one for 50, and had some interesting modding done to it- looks like something I'd do, and I can see how it might not be attractive for a collector.

Know what that extra lighting wired into the aft stations mean to me? It means I have an excuse to get back into my budding interest in electronics a couple years ago. I helped program some "robots" for a long time friend who has a band and he wanted a light show with these robots having big red flashing eyes that turn on and off to the beat of Thus Sparch Zathr.. Zuh... the 2001 theme. I was excited about the propsect of using coding and electronics for video bullshit, too. I wanted to make something a Grey Device, which may or may not show up in AFB. It should. It'd be neat.

Back in the 90s, they called these lights "blinkies"... um... that came out clumsy, this were the production people on Star Trek TNG were calling the lights inside Data's head. I read they were expensive. Now, they're absurdly cheap, stupefying how cheap you can do this stuff. So, someone did something here. I don't know if it functions or if it does anything interesting at all, but here's the door to mod this thing, continue this person's work.

But more importantly, I feel like I have permission to give and receive to myself. Use it for filming. If you want to mod it to fit your vision... MAKE IT SO!

But if I do film, I can take out the chairs and consoles and use them- most of them, anyway, on a separate set, like the one I made a few years ago. I don't think I have it anymore, and I loved it because it was simple, and yet I felt like it really did capture the feel of the TNG bridge, like, in relation to the action figures, we can accept it. The size of the room is a better fit than this bridge toy. HOWEVER, I can do a lot of tight shots, try to make it look like a lot of those standard bridge shots.

I don't know what I'll do with it, but the price was unbeatable considering how intact this toy is. It must be a scam I just fell for, right? LOL. Too good to be true, and I knew a deal like this would never come by ever again.

Oh, one of the chairs is broken, too. I'm not concerned about it. I have the means to get it fixed.

I have had the bug to film, maybe not AFB. Maybe I'll do a straight forward TNG spoof, but in doing so, I wasn't satisfied with the amount of secondary characters I had. I have Barclay. I should have O'Brien.

And I got two, though that wasn't the plan. I wanted a standard O'Brien in a TNG uniform, which is a Geordi body, and was used a lot- several Picards, and an O'Brien! This would be a great asset to have, especially in engineering (I have that- it's the boiler room in AFB).

I ordered this O'Brien, but he came in his dress uniform when he arrived! These have an ever so slightly higher value, so whatever. It was a good deal. So I got another O'Brien, this one in proper attire. Dress uniforms or nice, but the action figures can't sit down.

Here's an idea:

Night shift on the bridge of the Enteprise, but it's all gold shirts. Call it "Golden Pay", and they bitch about the cronyism rampant on the Enterprise-D. The weird Sam and Diane romance- and then they have to get quiet when Wesley comes aboard because they don't want to piss him off because they think he may be pulling the strings! And, of course, Riker and Troi and their business.

I like the idea of Barclay trying to fit in, awkwardly attempts to crack a joke, and it just kills the moment for a bit.

Data may ask Barclay about how he handles it. Maybe they just end up getting along? I don't know. We got a problem here. Two awkward dudes? Or maybe Data gets called away to the ready room. Or he gets really caught up in doing something in the back of the bridge.

Yesterday's Enterprise Yar could get a new doo, and she's a new officer- ops? Tactical? Worf should be at the Ops console in a nod to that weird finale to "Webster". Or maybe I just let the character be a different character. She doesn't exactly look like Denise Crosby.

...

Meh. This idea sucks.

But maybe it just needs some extra pieces to make it work, and perhaps this is just one element of the story, not the whole thing.

Would be fun to a completely unnecessary shot for shot action figure remake of "The Royale".

[airlocksandaviaries]

EVERY DATA OUTFIT EVER, RATED (pt 1)

BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR IT

^^ THAT’S MORE THAN THREE NOTES RIGHT THERE. LET’S FREAKING GO.

#1 - The Classic Yellow Uniform (S1 version)

5/10

Simple but effective. The TNG uniform designs serve as usual. I would actually wear this. He looks good in it. It’s very basic, and the later uniform designs are better, of course, but I’m bumping up the rating in it because his tits look gorgeous.

#2 - Sherlock Data pt 1

6/10

It’s just a pipe, but it adds SO MUCH. You can tell he’s really throwing himself into the role. Boy reads a book series for the first time and automatically decides he IS the main character. Just like me fr. Not rating it higher bc I know we can do better with this style.

#3 - Dixon Hill Data pt 1

8.5/10

OUGH. That is an OUTFIT. The tie. The Hat. The HANDKERCHIEF. They sure didn’t half-ass the costumes on this one, they really gave him the full aesthetic and I am HERE FOR IT.

#4 - Lore Outfit Switcheroo

4/10

Basic, TNG, “we found somebody on a planet and we dressed them in the nearest garment we could find, which happens to look like the world’s blandest sweater.” I would have rated it lower if it weren’t for the fact that they layered a v neck and a turtleneck and made him look particularly whoreish. 

#5 - Sherlock Data pt 2

7.5/10

Look how happy he is cosplaying his favorite character! This is an odd choice for a costume, though, a robe over a collared shirt, looks kinda like pjs, or maybe I’m just illiterate in 1890s fashion. Still looks good tho. Now we’re getting somewhere.

#6 - Sherlock Data pt 3

11/10

LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT MY BOY. Benedict Cumberbatch? Robert Downey Jr?? Henry Cavill??? Never heard of em. This is the real Sherlock, a fruity lil android cosplaying his favorite character from his favorite book, bonus points for the gay roleplay with his bf Geordi (playing Watson). This is a Superior Data Look.

#7 - Stand-Up Comedy Data

7/10

Gotta be honest this was one of my least favorite Data B-Stories (aside from the one about comphet) but at least this outfit served absolute android cunt. Knocking off points for how awkward he looks in it tho. Boy pls stop torturing urself for validation from others. It’s physically killing me.

#8 - Poker Visor

3/10

Data why are you wearing that. You can literally see in the dark Data you don’t even need it. Do you think it looks stylish Data. Do you think it looks cool and that’s why you decided to wear it to every single crew poker night. At least you’re trying and that’s what counts.

#9 - One Arm Data

1/10

He arm off. Put it back

#10 - Cowboy Hat Data

🤠/10

yeehaw

#11 - Dixon Hill Data pt 2

8/10

This one is slightly more formal than his previous Dixon Hill attire, and less dramatic, but fashionable nonetheless. Fruity in a way I can’t seem to describe. Period outfits (almost) always fit this man and Idk what it its.

#12 - Strategima Gloves

-10/10

I DO NOT LIKE THOSE FINGER THINGS. THEY ARE GIVING ME ANXIETY. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO WEAR THOSE TO PLAY A STRATEGY GAME. THEY LOOK LIKE COW MILKING MACHINES. WHY ARE THERE TUBES. DATA TAKE THOSE OFF PLEASE I AM HAVING A SENSORY NIGHTMARE JUST LOOKING AT THEM

This concludes Data’s Outfits Rated, Part 1. I’ve made it through Seasons 1 and 2 by combing through footage trying to find wearing anything out of the ordinary. If I’ve missed any please feel free to send ‘em in. Part 2 will be out soon.

[starlitangels]

uh hi yeah so this is kinda for me but also kinda to give you a break from all the long asks while still keeping you in a creative headspace:

pick 3-5 boys and have them discover their listener can sing? or maybe some other art form? (Or, for shits and giggles, that they were a cheerleader in high school and have them still fit in their uniform and everything and do a cheer for their boy/mate)

answer whenever you need a break!

I mean, I don't mind the long asks. I'm honestly delighted to get any asks. Bear in mind I've been on Tumblr since 2014 and I've gotten more unprompted asks since I started this blog than I ever got on any other blog combined, probably. I love the engagement!

That said, I do appreciate the reprieve XD

I know nothing about being a cheerleader. I was a band geek in high school and continue to be pretty unathletic. So we're gonna go with singing because that is something I do know a lot about XD

Okay! I figured for this one I'd do some of the "not main" boys, I guess? (Like, I do a lot with the Shaw pack, so I'm trying to branch out. That said, I can't stop and won't stop writing for Sam and Avior even though they're two of my main boys XD)

Avior

Avior first hears Starlight sing in their first stint in the Meridian. Before he realized he'd fallen in love with them, but after he was definitely in love with them

Starlight was just singing softly to pass the time and entertain their brain, doodling in the dust to try and think of a way to get out of the trap

Avior froze

Completely halted what he was doing

He was just around the corner, trying to reshape the walls to start making the hovel

His magic just... sputtered out

He can't believe that in the middle of something so insane as their situation, anyone could find it in them to sing

But Starlight's voice absolutely captivated him

It wasn't like Starlight was putting on a performance of Bohemian Rhapsody or anything

They were just singing a lullaby to themselves

And Avior couldn't unfreeze his muscles until they stopped

He wanted to be able to hear every. single. damn. note

He starts encouraging Starlight to sing more often

After he confesses that he’s in love with them, he asks them to sing for him when he’s getting stressed

The silence after Starlight left the Meridian for the first time was maddening. He missed their voice filling the idle quiet, drowning out the flames and the winds and the screams

When he dragged them back in, he waited to hear them sing for days, silently begging them to give that back to him, even if he couldn’t have them back yet the way he desperately wanted them

Geordi

Cutie and Geordi had gone on all of three dates when they ended up in one of those private-room karaoke places

It was Cutie’s idea

Geordi started all awkward and, “Nooo, you go ahead and go first... I don’t know what I want to sing... I’ll look while you go ahead.”

Cutie got up and selected a song, and then blew Geordi away within seconds.

Cutie was reading Geordi’s thoughts as they sang, and all he was thinking was, “wow they sound incredible—amazing voice—never heard anyone like it—” and other variations

It almost made Cutie falter in their song. He sounded so awed that it was flattering and embarrassing

Now that they’ve been together a while, Cutie sings while doing chores a lot, and Geordi looks wowed every single time

Sometimes Cutie will stop singing for months on end when their mental health isn’t quite as good as other times, and Geordi misses it every time

Cutie always hears his thoughts when they start back up again and he’s always so relieved and happy to hear his partner is singing again—because it means they’re feeling better

And they sound so nice that he feels really happy

Elliott

Elliott and Sunshine have been friends for years—like, high school friends

Elliott discovers Sunshine can sing when they both ended up auditioning for the school musical

Elliott lost a bet with one of their other friends and had to audition

Sunshine wanted to

Elliott was outside the audition room—he and Sunshine signed up right after each other—when Sunshine did their song

He was so amazed that he forgot his monologue and the first couple bars of his audition for a few seconds when he was reviewing them out in the hall

He literally just froze and listened

Their friends, who he was with, started to laugh and tease him—and he shushed them so he wouldn’t miss a second of the music

Elliott didn’t end up getting cast for the musical—not that he expected to, anyway—but Sunshine did

He went to every performance he could just so he could hear them sing as much as possible

He brought them a bouquet of roses both opening and closing night. Both of them with cards full of compliments to their singing, acting, and dancing skills

Sam

Ya wanna talk about bamboozled?

Let’s talk about bamboozled.

The last thing Sam ever expected of Darlin’ was for them to be an incredibly skilled singer

But they are

A new baby was born to the pack and Darlin’ managed to drag Sam along to the little “Meet the Baby” gathering at the parents’ house (“As my mate, you’re legally obligated to come with me to pack social events. If I have to endure this, so do you, cowboy” *Sam chuckles and shakes his head as he follows after Darlin’*)

The poor little infant got a bit overwhelmed by the sheer amount of pack members present and fawning over them and started to cry

Darlin’ just so happened to be holding the infant at the time

The baby’s parents offered to take the child back, but Darlin’ just shook their head and retreated to another room in the house. Sam stayed with the rest of the pack, but his vampire hearing easily singled out Darlin’ gently singing a lullaby

The baby stopped crying quickly, but Darlin’ stayed in the other room for a bit, still singing to keep the baby soothed

Sam had to keep his expression cool around the rest of the pack but in his mind his jaw was hanging open

He doesn’t bring it up until they’re driving home after meeting the baby—and even then all he does is compliment their voice and leave it at that

Darlin’ starts slowly singing more around Sam. Not often and never anything complicated, but he’s amazed every time

Vincent

It takes Vincent and while to hear Lovely sing, after everything that happened with them

But when he does, it’s when he’s playing piano

From the other room, he heard Lovely singing the lyrics to the old song he was playing, clear as day and like they were standing right beside him

He was so stunned he almost stopped playing

Muscle memory was the only reason he kept going

Once the song was over, he zipped into the other room, mouth hanging open and eyes wide

“That... was beautiful,” was all he could say. Breathlessly.

Lovely gets all embarrassed and tries to brush it off

But Vincent won’t let them

It becomes a little evening activity for them. Vincent plays while Lovely sings.

They build up quite a little repertoire

After Lovely’s turning, it becomes one of the ways Vincent helps ground them back in reality, even if it takes months for their singing to be as full-bodied as it was before, rather than hollow and half-hearted

The only members of the clan who know are William and Sam, who have both been invited to “band practice” with Vincent and Lovely before

—

Bonus Bois, because Why the Heck Not!

D.A.M.N. Crew

The entire crew found out Freelancer could sing (barring Caelum, who’s known for years) at the same time

Group karaoke night!

At one of those private room places, again, because Lasko wouldn’t do karaoke otherwise and neither would Damien but his was out of grumpiness, not nerves

Huxley and Freelancer drew the short straws and had to go first

They picked Don’t Stop Believin’ with Freelancer singing the first stanza, Hux the second, and then swapping off from there to join in together for the chorus

So Freelancer got up with the first mic, standing in the middle and belted out the first stanza

Cue flabbergasted faces—Gavin’s most of all

“I’ve been living with them for ages—how have I never heard pipes like that on them before?”

Huxley was so amazed he completely missed the first two lines of his stanza

Even though they were supposed to be doing a duet, for half of the time when it was supposed to be them together, he’d just stand there and listen in amazement, letting Freelancer hit the long power notes on their own

Needless to say, Freelancer was the star of the night, and ended up doing duets with every single one of the boys at least once

[thegreaterlink]

Reviewing Star Trek TNG - S2E1 “The Child”

THE PREMISE

Dr Katherine Pulaski, the Enterprise's new Chief Medical Officer, is brought aboard as the ship travels to Aucdet IX to take on dangerous virus samples, which will be carried to a Starfleet medical station with the hope of developing a cure for a plague epidemic in the Rachelis system.

While travelling at sub light speed, a ball of energy passes into the ship and travels around before settling in the womb of Counsellor Troi. Dr Pulaski's analysis shows that the foetus is growing at an accelerated rate and will be fully developed within 36 hours. The ship's senior staff debate terminating the pregnancy, but Troi decides to carry the child to term. Troi names the child Ian, and he continues to develop rapidly.

WHAT'S NEW IN SEASON 2?

This new season brings with it a lot of changes:

Geordi is now the ship’s Chief Engineer, meaning he can do more than just use his visor to advance the plot.

Worf has replaced Tasha Yar - may she rest in peace - as the ship’s Chief of Security. He also has a slightly updated makeup design which I think looks much better. Apparently Michael Dorn’s original Klingon headpiece was stolen which necessitated the change. And I'm honestly glad it was; his old one just never looked right to me. Just compare for yourself.

Dr Pulaski has replaced Beverly Crusher as the ship’s Chief Medical Officer. Gates McFadden was fired by then-head writer and showrunner Maurice Hurley because he didn't like her or her acting. So that guy can go fuck himself.

Deanna Troi and Wesley Crusher have new outfits, with Wesley finally getting a Starfleet uniform.

Transporter chief Miles O’Brien makes his first appearance. Colm Meaney had previously appeared as an unnamed security officer in "Lonely Among Us." Maybe they're actually the same person? Food for thought.

Whoopi Goldberg has her first guest starring role as the character of Guinan, and her Ten Forward lounge is introduced.

And, last but not least, Riker has finally obtained his legendary facial hair. The babyface is dead; long live the beard.

Anyway, time to review the actual episode.

MY REVIEW

The majority of this episode is focused on Troi's rapidly-developing child. Within a few days, he has reached the physical and mental state of an eight-year-old. Most of it is pretty by-the-numbers, aside from the implication that Ian deliberately burns himself in one scene out of curiosity.

Still, at least some effort is made to hold our interest, with Ian refusing to explain who or what he really is until the time is right, and one of the sample virus strains growing inexplicably and threatening to rupture the storage vessel and infect everyone on board. Obviously they want to avoid that - Picard only just recovered from that sore throat, after all.

At the end of the episode, Ian confides to his "mother" that his presence as a being of energy is the cause of the virus' growth. He dies in her arms and returns to his energy form. He contacts Troi and explains that he impregnated her to find out what it was like to be human.

Hmm... a sentient being impregnating Troi without her knowledge or consent? Some might call it a fascinating new form of life. I call it rape. Ian is a child begotten of a rape that he himself committed, and it baffles me that none of the crew ever address this! Marina Sirtis was apparently happy with the episode because it gave her character some focus for once, and I'm all for that, but... did it have to be like this?

I don't want to think about this anymore. Let's just keep going.

My research shows that the premise for this episode originated as far back as Gene Roddenberry's original pitch for the Original Series. A similar idea was intended for Star Trek: Phase II, the planned sequel series which was eventually cancelled in favour of making Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Because of tight deadlines caused by the Writers' Guild Strike, the script was pulled out of storage and rewritten to fit TNG.

This episode has a minor subplot of Wesley Crusher trying to cope with leaving the Enterprise to join his mother on Earth after her promotion to director of Starfleet Medical - so that asshole Maurice Hurley found a convenient way to write her out. Bastard. Anyway, he has some nice scenes of receiving guidance from Guinan before deciding to stay. Good for him, I guess.

Also this is a bit of a nitpick, but it'll annoy me if I don't bring it up. Pulaski has a small scene with Data where she mispronounces his name, and when he corrects her she jokingly pretends to scan him for a circuit which allows him to experience hurt feelings. I realise they were probably trying to give them a dynamic similar to Spock and Dr McCoy, but there’s a key reason it doesn’t work - Spock was perfectly capable of holding his own against McCoy’s witticisms, and nearly always got the last word. The cynical, cranky Dr McCoy made for the perfect foil for the calm, logical Spock, creating a dynamic which endeared us to their relationship and the characters involved.

But here Data lacks the understanding of humanity to recognise Pulaski making a joke at his expense, meaning this scene was just Pulaski picking on Data for no good reason while her jabs go over his head. The result is that we feel sorry for Data and dislike Pulaski for being mean to an established character. They’re trying to make her a new Dr McCoy-esque character, when Data met the actual McCoy in “Encounter at Farpoint” and he treated him much better! Hell, Pulaski as a character just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the crew.

4.5/10 - Riker’s beard is generally associated with an increase in the show’s quality, but the beard evidently hasn't started to work its magic just yet.

Previous Episode | TNG Masterpost | Next Episode

[sttngfashion]

5.26 and 6.1 - Time’s Arrow

Oh my god. Y’all. It’s a new Fashion It So post. In the year of our Picard 2020. Yes.

For literal years, Charlie and I have been like UGH WE NEED TO DO TIME’S ARROW PARTS 1 AND 2 BUT IT’S JUST SUCH A MONSTER.

Well, I’m doing a complete rewatch of the series with my partner and we just got to these two, so IT IS TIME. 

We open in a cave in San Francisco, where Data and Picard are checking something out:

Rent for the cave is $6,000 per month

Showing them around is this guy in a Science Outfit:

He’s ready to go night biking

We’ve seen this look before in both Silicon Avatar and Devil’s Due, and it’s functional, yet cute. Basically a windbreaker in jumpsuit form. 

They find a couple of items in the cave, including a pocket watch from 1889 and also:

I left my head in San Francisco

IT’S DATA’S HEAD!!! And it’s been there for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS. What could have caused this? And why is Data’s head so absolutely terrifying?

Is that fondant

This head is, in a word, haunting. The 2020 of heads. 

Data and Geordi chat in Ten-Forward about what the presence of Data’s head in the cave means. Data says it means he’s mortal; that someday he will die, and that’s comforting. Spoiler alert: that’s not what it means. But it’s a nice conversation.

Also, Guinan is here!!!

Merlot My God!! 

Or maybe: Burgundy-lightful!! Or perhaps: De-Crimson-alize Sex Work!! Okay that last one was a stretch but I really think I missed my calling as a nail polish shade namer. 

Anyway, she’s here in her classic look of a pizza-sized hat and a flowing gown/coat/top/robe. The collar here is a little too close to a mock turtleneck for my liking and honestly - this is a little staid for our friend Guinan. I want a TEXTURE or a SWEEP or some WIDE RIBBING or some PLEATS. Don’t worry, though...she will get plenty more later.

Then there’s some plot which frankly we DO NOT HAVE TIME to get into but let’s just say: the away team goes to a planet, there’s a temporal disturbance, and Data ends up here:

Huge mood

Where are we? Or should I say WHEN are we??

Well that old-timey font is a good clue...also the horse

Are we in the Old West land of an off-brand Disneyworld? Are we going to ride something called Large Lightning Mesa Train Tracks? What colorful characters will we meet here?

Winner of 1893’s Mustache Medal

This type of ‘stache is called a Fu Manchu, after the character Dr. Fu Manchu. It’s not...a great look? But it is memorable, which is sometimes enough. He’s also wearing a simple black cap, probably made of silk. He’s keeping it cazh.

So where are we?

SAN FRANCISCO, OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATE / YOU’LL LET NOBODY WAIT / OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR

Yes, it’s San Francisco. And it’s *eyes popping out of head like a cartoon wolf seeing a busty babe* 1893!!!! That temporal disturbance was...disturbing.

So who else do we have hanging out?

Please check out our Vaudeville act, Knit Cap ‘n’ Bowly

These dudes understand those famous Bay Area MICROCLIMATES, amirite? We’ve got a Henley. We’ve got a buttondown. We’ve got a vest. We’ve got a coat. No matter which way the thermometer decides to go, THEY ARE READY. Also loving the pop of forest green on Knit Cap’s knit cap. 

We also have a 49er:

No, it’s not Steve Young. I googled “famous 49ers” to complete this joke so if there is a more famous 49er please let me know

It’s a literal 49er. Since it’s 1893, this guy’s been hanging around in town for a while, and he’s also familiar with the layering techniques one must master if one is to conquer the Bay Area’s climate. He also has a kicky Colonel Sanders-type tie. He asks Data for money and gives him a few panhandling tips. He’s chill. We like him. But don’t get too attached if you know what I mean!!!!

Data decides he needs somewhere to stay, so he finds a hotel:

Brian.

Why is this so funny to me. Brian. Why would you name your hotel Brian. Brian!!!! I know it’s a last name but like...Brian. HOTEL BRIAN. 

This bellhop’s name is not Brian:

Where’s your hat, bro

He’s giving us a classic bellhop look, complete with too many buttons. He gives Data the very important information that there’s a poker game happening in the back of the hotel, which means: Data is about to be RICH rich. 

The poker game includes a few good looks:

Louie Anderson IS Wolverine IN a Lands’ End barn coat

Two plaids? Sir...I salute you

Colonel Sanders Goes to Carnaval

Data, of course, wipes the floor with them so hard that he wins their clothes:

Didn’t get that barn coat tho

Yes, that’s the actual vest and the actual hat of those guys from the previous scene. Oh, I love it. I love Data in a vest over his uniform and I love Data with a feather in his cap. Let’s call it macaroni.

Meanwhile, out on the street, the plot is happening:

Beige: inescapable

This is our first taste of the decadent 1890’s sleeves that appear in this episode, and these aren’t even the best sleeves!! These are an amuse-bouche of sleeves. An armuse-bouche, if you will. 

Anyway, these two are aliens disguised as humans who are here to steal the 49er’s life energy. 

Pew pew pew

I told you not to get attached!!!

Back on the Enterprise, Guinan is doing mixology:

She would never call it something as stupid as mixology though

She tells Picard that he needs to go check out the temporal disturbance, too, even though captains don’t normally go on away missions, and then she gives him this look:

It’s that serious

When Guinan looks at you like this, you do what she says. 

Now this outfit is much better than the earlier one. We have some pleated sleeves, which I didn’t even think was a thing you could DO. We have some sort of functional(?) strap(??) across the front. We even have matching fingerless gloves which always make a look A LOOK. And if Picard wasn’t sure whether he needed to go on this away mission, she then gives him THIS look:

Okay now it’s REALLY serious

Back in 1893, Data is making something:

It’s actually just a really complicated and large music box that plays “I Left My Head in San Francisco”

He’s gotten his hands on some more period-appropriate clothing, including a bow tie and a vest. Since he’s not wearing arm garters and his sleeves appear to be the correct length for his arms, we can conclude that the shirt was custom-made, not ready-made, because Data is now a baller due to his poker earnings. 

Then, Data sees this in the paper:

I know her!! From work!!!!

Yes, it’s Guinan. In 1893. In a hat!!!!

We cut to the literary reception, which is honestly not as well-attended as I thought it would be, considering it got a GIANT photo of Guinan on page THREE of the paper, but okay. And who should we spy there but:

You’ll love my secret blend of 11 herbs and spices

No, it’s not Colonel Sanders. (Sorry, I really have Colonel Sanders on the brain because of that Lifetime movie.) It’s Samuel Clements, AKA Mark Twain. I had an English teacher in high school who explained the origin of his pseudonym (it indicates a mark of two fathoms, aka twelve feet, on a steamboat) and for some reason she shouted MAAAARK TWAAAAAIN when she told us that story so now her delivery of that line is in my head until I die I guess.

Anyway, it’s Mark Twain.

He’s wearing his iconic white linen suit with a black bow tie, and he’s also wearing a lot of prosthetics, because the actor playing him (Jerry Hardin, AKA Deep Throat from The X-Files AKA Melora Hardin AKA Jan Levinson-Gould’s dad) (was that too many AKAs) (you get it, right?) didn’t look enough like Mark Twain, I guess? In conclusion: what if eyebrow wigs were a thing?

Twain is having a chit chat with “Madame Guinan,” who is wearing what can only be called a sumptuous gown:

It’s 11:30 and the gown is sumptin’ sumptin’

There are so many ELEMENTS to this look! First of all: the color. Royal purple. Fit for a queen. Appropriate. 

Then: those sleeves! These sleeves are known as “leg of mutton sleeves” because they KIND OF look like a leg of mutton. Have you ever seen a leg of mutton? I haven’t. I’ve only seen these sleeves. Plus they have a stripe?? No, I don’t know why, but I LOVE IT.

The cuffs and the cravat bring this from “dress” to “lewk.” Top it all off with this hat and you have a true 1893 mood.

What bird is that feather even from

We get a few good extra looks in this scene as well:

Pink Lady is NOT wearing a corset

Look, sometimes you don’t have enough period-appropriate undergarments for all the background people and that’s fine. But I WILL notice.

Is that Loretta Lynn

I am loving all of this! That purple dress is fantastic, those stripes? I die. Military man has some fun flair on his shoulder, and there is a dude in a beautiful turban back there. Plus, another Black lady in addition to Guinan and That One Ensign Who Is On The Bridge Sometimes.

Data rolls in to the literary event in a different suit with a CRAVAT:

Craving a cravat

Data is like “we serve together on the same starship in the 24th century” and Guinan is like “huh” but then she’s like “okay” which...I’m not sure if I would believe that? But let’s just say it’s fine. 

Over in the 24th century, the literal entire bridge crew is checking out the temporal disturbance and I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL:

Blue Man Group...on ACID

These beings are like ghosts but also like Dr. Manhattan but also like pure energy. 

Then everyone goes through the temporal disturbance AND THE SEASON ENDS. 

Fortunately for you, this post will continue...right now.

Okay, so we’re back in San Francisco in 1893. You can tell by the horses:

Also the fruit carts

Samuel Clemens is strolling around with a reporter, telling him that he has a great story for him that involves time travelers and, like, protecting the nation.

Here’s the thing about this episode’s version of Mark Twain: he’s kind of a dick. Was the real Mark Twain kind of a dick? I just feel like Mark Twain should be JAZZED about meeting time travelers and not acting like a fuckin’ time cop* and trying to put the Enterprise crew on blast. 

Anyway I love his double-breasted vest.

See my vest

The reporter’s hat is technically period-accurate, but that style is SO associated with the 1930s-1950s that I would have gone with something else. He looks cute though.

Meanwhile, Data is wearing a three-piece suit:

My positronic olfactory synapses are interpreting something as...a fart

I hate brown, but this is fine.

Additionally, the beige baddies from before are back and this time, they’ve got a SNAKE CANE:

Love the snake cane, hate how they suck the life out of people

But we are not here for them, we are here to see our faves in period clothing. Our first look is at Riker, who is dressed as an actual cop, not a time cop like Mark Twain:

The past just had...so many buttons

I guess if you’re a time-traveling white man there are worse disguises than a cop. But WHERE DID HE GET THIS UNIFORM? I choose to believe that he found a cop with a similar large handsome body to his own and beat the shit out of him and stole his clothes. Now we can all enjoy imagining a cop being beat up.

The badge that Riker is wearing is a great historical detail; the SFPD started wearing them in 1886 and are reportedly the first law enforcement agency to have worn the seven-pointed star, which is now a common shape among sheriff’s departments across the United States.

But let’s move on to a better look: Dr. Beverly Crusher:

Curlz MT

Okay, now I have more questions. Beverly obviously wouldn’t beat someone up for their clothes, so where did SHE get HER outfit? And who did her hair? Did she do her OWN hair? Where did she get a curling iron? Does she know how to use a curling iron? Was it one of those ones that’s actually made of iron that you have to heat up in a fireplace? 

We will get answers to zero (0) of these questions.

We actually get a much better look at her dress later, so let’s focus on that cloak!!! I love it and I also love her hat. Okay, I guess I had less to say about those than I thought.

Bev and Will, along with the rest of the officers, have somehow procured a room/apartment in some lady’s lodging house. It’s cute!

They gave it 5 stars on AirBnB

This also raises questions. How did they get this room? How many bedrooms does it have? Are they sharing one large bed? If so, who has to sleep crossways at the foot of the bed and why is it Geordi? We will get zero answers to these questions as well, so let’s move on to arguably the hottest costume in this two-parter:

I’ll be in Holodeck 4

Whewwwwwww. He’s giving us a rolled sleeve. He’s giving us a casual tweed vest. The pants? They’re perfect. And he KNOWS how that slouch is working. It’s working VERY well. But the Irish landlady? She’s having NONE OF IT.

Absolutely NO nonsense

She needs the rent, but Picard charms her and she leaves. So I guess that’s how they got the room. Her look is knitwear-forward:

Eileen Fisher does sound like an Irish name

She’s got a shawl AND a cardigan! The cozy factor is OFF THE CHARTS. She also has a brooch, because a touch of fancy is always welcome. I will say that her hair is a little more fashion-forward than I’d expect for a woman of her age and station. This is straight up 1890s hair, and she would probably still be rocking an 1860s look, which isn’t as sweepy and would likely involve more braids. Still, she looks lovely. 

Geordi is also here looking dapper:

Make the collar as high as you can. I want to be sliced open by my own collar

You CAN go wrong with a three-piece suit, but it’s difficult to. He can’t wear his visor, so he has some kicky shades which we’ll get a better look at in a sec.

Back at the Hotel Brian (lol), the bellboy (who we learn in this scene is Jack London, inspired to be a writer by Mark Twain [citation needed]) lets Mark Twain into Data’s room and allows him to look around unsupervised. This is very bad hotel management. 

Great Scott

Then Data and Guinan show back up, and Mark Twain hides in an armoire.

One short day in the emerald brocade

I think one reason I love Guinan’s looks so much, both in the 24th and the 19th century, is that our color palette is very similar. We’re both winters. Bold jewel tones are the vibe. This one is in a beautiful deep green fabric with what looks like a velvet flocking pattern on it. The collar is also velvet, and I love that sleeve with a flounce on top like there wasn’t already enough fucking fabric on the sleeve so they just added a random piece to be like “yes, bitch. I’m a sleeve.”

Naturally, the hat is also jaunty af:

San Francisco’s hottest milliner is: Madame Guinan

This hat has everything: feathers, netting, a brim, an angle that makes you think it’s going to fall off but it doesn’t. We stan.

Meanwhile, Picard is setting up a sensor in a hospital while wearing a hat:

I’m bowled over

We haven’t even asked where Picard got these clothes, but I would like to point out that he’s dressed as a lower-class guy, while Riker is a cop, and Geordi looks like a gentleman. Was there even a discussion they all had about how they would disguise themselves? Was Picard like “I just really want to wear a beat-up bowler hat” and since he’s the captain, they extrapolated from there? This episode is NOT CONCERNED about any of this. They all have clothes, end of story. 

Bev even has TWO outfits!!

Hello nurse!!!!

I love this look. She still has her unlikely hairstyle happening, which means her nurse’s cap is sitting atop her voluminous hairstyle. (Not very practical, but realistic!) She’s sporting a simple striped dress and a button-on apron. (Look closely and you can see the two buttons holding the apron to the dress.) The fabric underneath might be cotton seersucker, but it’s likely a lightweight cotton or linen twill. You can see how closely her look matches these nurses from a similar time period:

Hello nurses!!!!

Deanna is also in this scene and this episode, but you wouldn’t know it from what she’s given to do. HUGE SHOCKER: TROI NOT GIVEN ENOUGH TO DO IN AN EPISODE. 🙃

She still looks beautiful:

Why aren’t capelets more popular

We never get a really GREAT look at her whole outfit, but I can tell you that it has a capelet, it’s in the red family, and the hat has a lot of business going on. For those reasons: approved. It has a flounce in the back too:

More fabric = more wealth

Sometimes I think about just how much fabric it took to make these old-timey dresses and I’m like...how did anyone get anything done?? It takes me like 4 weeks to finish a pair of leggings and those have like 5 seams and I own a serger. These historical bitches were sewing whole ass dresses in no time at all. 

Okay, so Bev is in this hospital and here come some more energy-stealing aliens, disguised as healthcare professionals this time:

I cannot take a medical professional wearing a LIGHT BROWN TOP HAT seriously, sorry

Bev AND this energy-stealing alien have BOTH managed to get their hands on the SAME nurse’s uniform?? I guess in the case of the alien, she is a shape-shifter, so she got her clothes from...that. And her hair. 

I hate this light brown top hat. If you’re going to wear a top hat, don’t DISRESPECT IT by making it BROWN, but if you’re going to make it brown, make it a good brown, like chocolate. Stupid energy-stealing aliens.

There’s a skirmish, the energy-stealing aliens disappear, and the real cops show up:

MOUSTACHE

Of course, the cops showing up is bad, because when has a cop showing up ever made a bad situation better? Never. Defund the police, but don’t defund handlebar mustaches. Those can stay.

Fortunately, Data has gotten a ping on that machine he was building before and shows up on a motherfucking HORSE:

Brent just wanted to show off

He’s back in his brown striped suit and red tie. Okay.

Everyone returns to the boarding house to suss out the situation, and we get a look at what Riker is rocking underneath his cop jacket:

Suspend me daddy

You can see very clearly here how the collar is not actually attached to the shirt. This was a thing people in the olden days did so they could wear their shirt for multiple days in a row and just switch out the collar and cuffs so they looked clean. As someone who is wearing the same sweatshirt for the third day in a row, I support this method. (If you’re interested on more info about collars, here is a very enjoyable article about them.)

We are also blessed with a better look at Deanna’s sleeves and bodice:

Black lace cuffs? Decadent!!!

You can also see Geordi’s shades, which suit him really nicely. One thing I’ve been enjoying on this rewatch is just how well LeVar Burton can act without having his eyes visible. He’s great. Let’s just all think about how great LeVar Burton is for a second

And also Bev’s dress:

I legitimately want this dress

I don’t think those buttons are functional. Can you imagine how annoying THAT would be? But I am absolutely in love with this dress. Two paisleys, Beverly???? A goddess. I’m also dying for that brooch with the chain. A+ look all around, great work.

Finally, FINALLY, Guinan meets the rest of the crew:

When you meet someone you won’t actually know for 500 years

She is wearing a hat that looks like a toilet paper cozy. Did your grandma have one of these? They’re so stupid and I love them so much. 

Picard and Guinan meet for what is the first time for her, but not the first time for him, and honestly it is...sensual?????

If I got a m’lady from P. Stew I wouldn’t even mind

Patrick and Whoopi truly do some nice work in this ep. But we are here to yell about clothes, so: LOOK AT THIS DRESS ON AN EXTRA:

Gimme dat dress

I just want that dress to wear around my house. I legitimately bought an 18th century costume dress to do just that, so don’t think I won’t literally do this.

OKAY, WE ARE ALMOST TO THE END. 

The crew, plus Guinan, go back to the cave where this all started:

Cave Club, the only club that meets in a cave

We get a nice look at the bodice of Guinan’s dress here and guess what: MORE BUTTONS. Buttons on the lapels, and also buttons on the front panel with the pointy top. I wonder if she has multiple front panels for that dress in different colors, like a Swatch watch. 

Unbeknownst to them, Mark Twain followed them!! Then there’s a scuffle with the energy-stealing aliens during which a few things happen:

Data’s head flies off

Mark Twain gets sucked into the temporal disturbance

Guinan gets hurt

Picard stays behind to make sure Guinan is okay

So we end up with Mark Twain on the Enterprise, where he sees Worf, and he’s like:

Buh-WHAT

Worf is also confused:

This is...extremely perplexing

We have a few more looks back on the Enterprise, including Regular Guinan:

ShoulderSpreads™: The Bed Spread for Your Shoulders

I love love LOVE this outfit. The color is perfect, the shoulderspreads are perfect, the front draping is perfect. It looks like a velvet housedress from the 1960s except FANCY which is kind of my ideal aesthetic. And it’s red (my fave). 

We get a quick glimpse at the barber uniform:

Bitch let me pass, idc if you wrote Huck Finn

This barber does. not. give. a. fuck!!!! 

Geordi reattaches Data’s head, the one they already had, which means this whole thing was a ding dang closed loop. The reattachment also kind of diminishes the whole conversation they had earlier about how Data’s head in the cave meant that Data could die someday, because...he didn’t. He still might, but his head is back and he’s fine now.

Meanwhile, Picard is still back in 1893 and they have to go get him, but only one person can come back through the temporal disturbance, so Mark Twain is like “duh I’ll go get him.” 

And finally Guinan and Picard can talk about how their friendship spans 500 years!!!!

Hey girl

Hey

YOU’RE WELCOME

*abolish the police

[starship-imzadi]

S5 E6 The Game

Riker in action everyone. Just kidding. This episode feels like "it's all fun an games until someone gets hurt." Like this opening scene: it's superficially playful but, it also highlights the vulnerability the communicator creates. It's such a small accessory and without it, it's more difficult to beam anywhere and you lose contact with your ship. Taking away someone's communicator is actually a notable threat. The scene stays playful but if you know the rest of the episode, it serves as a sort of foreshadowing.

As always, Riker looks good in blue.

I wonder if this game is what they envisioned or just what they could afford for graphics.

I recently listened to Frakes' audio commentary on Roswell and he talked about the young actors holding up really well under extreme close up and I want to say, as of this episode, he does pretty well himself.

Most of the time I see this episode interpreted in a highly sexualised manner, the reaction to the game is often interpreted as orgasmic. It makes sense why that is BUT I disagree with it. It's kind of like interpreting Risa as a sex planet: sex is pleasurable but so are other things and not everyone wants or finds pleasure in sex. Risa is a pleasure planet.

This episode is about a game, a game that isn't sexual (yes, basically it's: put this thing in that thing which can in the most general sense describe sex but it could also describe so many other things) but a game that in its actual graphic designed is fairly innocuous. Gaming in its own right can be addictive (just think if this concept were reinterpreted for an episode of Black Mirror) and ultimately any addiction is down to neurochemistry, including but not limited to hormones like dopamine and serotonin.

I don't know what to make of this but notice Geordi is the first person Riker goes to hoping to share his new... gadget. The real question is how will it fit over Geordi's visor?...

Look at Riker brush Geordi's shoulder

Riker walks into Ten-forward and doesn't take his eyes off Troi. 😍 And then he proceeds to tease her about her chocolate consumption.

This is an interesting scene within the context of this episode because, for Troi, eating chocolate is a pleasurable experience. It sort of show cases different kinds of pleasure.

Now that Riker tells Troi about the game, I'm not sure if there was a significance in telling Geordi first, or if it was just opportunity. Riker did specifically seek Troi out. Now the real question is: did they go try it together...

I like this inverted uniform they put Wesley in.

Worf is a bit socially awkward. He just interrupts Geordi to announce that he made cake for Wesley...like, you couldn't wait just one more second? And "i made it myself"...in a replicator?

Worf looks to Riker for reassurance.

"Wesley, was our attempt to make you uncomfortable effective" "you bet it was" yeah, me too Wes, me too.

Data's laugh!

"come by my quarters and I'll show it to you" wow...that was a bit... seductive.

Riker just carries Data

Picard got the nice tea set out, that's sweet.

Wesley's flirting has improved, he's far more comfortable with women.

Wesley walking in on Beverly is...oh so awkward. I think Beverley's pleasure response (looking at you "Sub Rosa"!) makes me the most uncomfortable of the entire command crew.

(that's what Wesley chose to wear for his dinner date?)

"it's just a fad. It's here this week. Next week we won't even know it existed" Now, I'm not sure if this is supposed to have a meta subtext but...with the highly episodic nature of TNG's format, this is literally true: on next week's episode we actually won't be aware this game ever existed...

Here's another point were star trek is supposed to be super advanced scientifically but they have to take a moment, step back, and explain that the prefrontal cortex controls impulse control and higher reasoning.

I like Wesley and I'm glad to see him back for an episode but it's a little unfortunate that yet again he has to be the one to save the ship when all the adults fail. At least now he's less of the chaotic wunderkind he was portrayed as in season 1 when the writers were struggling with everyone's characterisation.

Wow... I don't know about you but having Worf and Riker appear from around the corner and walk in like that...is ever so slightly terrifying.

I love this shot in engineering done in the reflection of the control table top.

I can't imagine being inches from Frakes and keeping a straight face.

(a warning to the photo sensitive much?)

Thank goodness this was an easy fix... Is everyone going to go through seritonin withdrawal now?

"get her of the screen" it's satisfying to have Riker be the one to banish her. As much as he might be faulted for introducing the game to the ship, everyone proved to be as vulnerable to it as he was. His only mistake was choosing to trust the wrong person, unaware of the true extent to which he could be used to compromise the ship. His trust was not only risking himself but also the people around him. As Riker pointed out in "In Theory" trust is a risk; this doesn't mean trust isn't worth it, but it's important to know the entirety of what you're risking.

That looks like a nice hug.

[scaredandbored]

the one with the sonic showers

for @julie-yard , (sorry it’s so ooc but it’s got DaForge in!)

word count (excluding the compulsory grouching i do in the brackets next because i ran out of space in the tags whoops) : 2233

(also this is my first ever piece of writing using solely other people’s characters so i apologise in advance lol)

(constructive criticism welcome just please be nice i cry really easily)

(hey so data is literally an android and geordie is CHEIF FRICKIN ENGINEER and i am Bad At Physics. so there are large gaps in dialogue which i would LOVE to do some more research on (not sarcasm i really would but i would get sucked into it and never actually write lol) but i’m more of a chemistry/biology Basic Bitch™️ so even though i’m supposed to know enough about sound waves to write that dialogue i don’t trust myself enough to do it)

(also, i’m a First Aid Responder, not a doctor, damnit! so all medical talk in this is me reading three (3) articles on chronic tension headaches and then seeming myself fit to write about it)

(sorry in advance, here you go!)

The alarm he had set for twenty minutes before the beginning of his shift made Geordie feel as though he was being hit repeatedly by a phaser. Wincing, he groped for his VISOR, slamming his other hand on the button that would stop the infernal shrieking. Logically, Geordie knew the noise was just barely above a soft trill, but as he rummaged around his drawer for his acetaminophen hypo, he was considering having a word with the senior medical staff about limiting the volume of the ships alarms in the interest of the crew’s wellbeing.

As usual, the hypo did very little for the inescapable pressure on his skull, and the activation of his visor did nothing but restore him to the state he was before the hypo. Grimacing, he dragged himself over to the replicator in the far corner of his room, toeing off the black regulation bottoms he’d slept in and tossing them into the laundry shoot as he walked by. “Coffee, black, sixty degrees Celsius.”. Hoping against hope the caffeine would keep the dull pain from spiking until he could administer her perscription later in the day. He rolled his head between sips of the slightly too bitter beverage, with the intention of loosening up in order to stave off neck and shoulder tension later in the day. “Computer, set a reminder to schedule a meeting with Dr.Crusher for me, will you?” The computer’s answering trill was, again, much too loud for his liking, so he gave a second order for all automated auditory responses to decrease intensity by 50%.

Sliding off his VISOR, Geordie decided to pick out his uniform and dress using muscle memory, the idea of putting his VISOR back on before absolutely necessary was enough to make his stomach turn, violently. “OK, so don’t put it back on, Geordie, it’s not rocket science.” he sighed to himself as he tugged the zip up, catching his thumb in his collar. Adequately annoyed at himself and already aching to take another shot of his hypo, Geordie lamented the fact he hadn’t decided to shower, the warm water would’ve done some good towards the inevitable spasms his upper back and neck would undoubtedly engage in later that evening. Sitting down, he pressed the heels of his almost-cool hands against his temples, rubbing around the terminals for his VISOR, where the ache was the worst. As he considered requesting sick leave and how to tell Riker he’d be missing poker tonight without raising suspicion, his communicator went off, the obnoxious trill sending a jolt of nausea through him as Barclay’s voice rang around his room.

“Barclay to Commander LaForge.”

Geordie winced and sighed before tapping his badge. “LaForge here.”

While Reg was relaying his message, Geordie reluctantly picked up his VISOR and clicked it into place. “There’s been several complaints shipwide about sonic shower malfunctions, the captain has asked us to assemble a team and look into it as soon as possible, sir.”

“Acknowledged. I’ll be in Engineering as soon as I can. Until then, Reg, you get a few ensigns and run a few tests on the basic functions in the malfunctioning units on the lower half of the affected decks. I want the results updated in real time so I can check them against the ones I’ll run. LaForge out.” Geordie considered popping into Sickbay on his way to see if he could get a muscle relaxer to avoid any serious cramping of his neck muscles, but the acetaminophen seemed to be kicking in, and he’d hoped this meant the worst was over.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

After numerous hours of running several different sonic showers at increasingly higher frequencies, Geordie felt as though his head was going to burst. He’d missed the hour he was supposed to re-administer his painkiller by a good thirty minutes, and the ensign he had taken with him to the upper decks had noticed his smile was less a smile and more a pained grimace. When she’d suggested he let her run a few tests while he updated the logs, Geordie had politely declined with a small laugh and an even smaller smile. When she repeated the question ten minutes later, he complied without a word.

Lunchtime arrived what felt like years later, when Geordie finally caved and turned himself into sickbay.

“Hey, Alyssa, can I talk to you for a second?” Geordie held out his hand in a sort of rushed, half-thought out greeting that immediately told Alyssa what it was Geordie wanted to talk to her about.

“Geordie, maybe you should sit the rest of your shift out.” Was all she said in the way of sympathy as she administered several of his usual hypos. This was why Geordie came to her before any other nurse on the Enterprise. Her sympathy was just enough to get her job done and she kept her pity to herself for the most part.

“Well, you know what they say!” Geordie jumped to his feet, rubbing his hands together briefly before giving one sharp clap to test the rapidly receding pressure in his head. “No peace for the wicked. I’ll see you around, Alyssa, thanks for the help.”

As Geordie moved out from behind the thin curtain Alyssa had pulled for privacy, he found himself looking straight up at his best friend, and his heart skipped a beat. “Data!” He grinned.

“Geordie.” Data’s head nodded in acknowledgement. Geordie admired the halo his VISOR caused around Data’s head. “I fail to see the relevance between your chosen turn of phrase and Nurse Ogawa’s reccomendation. I also object to the comparison you have drawn between yourself and the afformentioned ‘wicked’.”

“Data, it was a joke.” Geordie smiled again, the combination of the slightly stronger meds and his closest friend reducing the pain to a tolerable level. The fact his crush on Data was all-consuming only meant he had something to distract himself from what pain remained. “And Alyssa was just being nice, you know how I’d love to take an evening off to fool around on the holodeck.” Geordie immediately regretted his choice of words, but Data remained oblivious, his concerned head tilt still in place.

“Nurse Ogawa is not known for the benevolent prescription of unnecessary sick leave, Geordie.” He opened his mouth as if to suggest something, before closing it again and taking a step forward, placing his hand on Geordie’s shoulder. Now, it was Geordie’s chest that was under considerable pressure. “Do not hesitate to contact me if necessary. I must return to duty.”

Geordie chuckled in order to hide his disappointment at the loss of Data’s hand on his shoulder, shaking his head fondly. “No problem, Data. I’ll do that.”

Geordie was nearly out the door of Sickbay when Data called after him. “I shall see you at poker tonight, Geordie.”

It didn’t sound like a question, but Geordie knew Data well enough to know he was hoping to prompt a response. “I dunno, buddy. I’m kinda tired, if I’m being honest. I’ll let you know later, ok?”

Data blinked once, then twice, then nodded, his head adjusting itself into a neuteral position. “That is satisfactory.”

This time, Geordie laughed, the pain in his shoulders creeping up on him slowly once again, despite Data’s adorable half-attempt at a wave as the doors slid shut behind him. “Computer, what time is it?”

The shrill chime that preceded the response didn’t particularly hurt his head, but Geordie could feel his shoulders tensing even further, and he knew beyond doubt there was no way he would make it to cards that evening.

That evening found Geordie still in one of those awful, shrieking showers. He’d been technically off-duty for an hour now, and desperately needed to take off his VISOR for ten minutes, but Barclay had taken one look at Gerodie’s drawn face and refused to leave him alone in the bathroom they were checking out. “Hey Reg, do me a favour?” Geordie needed to get him out of the room so he could slip off his VISOR and massage his temples. That, or he needed to stop working with the shower on; the high frequencies were really not helping his situation.

“Sir?” Barclay’s hands had stuttered to a sudden stop the minute his commanding officer had spoken.

“Could you run and grab a coffee? The Gamma Shift doesn’t start for another five minutes, we can take a break from this instantaneous reporting.” Geordie didn’t take his head out from the panelling they had removed half an hour ago, afraid Reg would see the pained twist he could feel in his lips and call Dr.Crusher. He knew he could handle it, it wasn’t the worst pain he’d ever had from his VISOR, and he’d managed to subtly administer another hypo when he’d gone to grab them both a water around twenty minutes ago.

“Yessir.” Was Barclay’s anxious reply, and there was a prolonged silence between his response and the sound of the doors opening and shutting. They’d had to shut down all replicator and environmental control activity while they worked, which meant Geordie had five minutes to give his head a well-deserved break. Clicking the VISOR out of its terminals and heaving a sigh of relief, Geordie felt his head swim. Taking a few steadying breaths, he fumbled blindly at the sonic shower’s controls, silently cursing himself for not having shut it off before removing the VISOR. Only succeeding in shifting the tuning to an impossibly more painful frequency, Geordie sat down on the floor of the shower, back pressed against the back wall, head falling back against the cool slate. He rubbed at his eyes. “Goddamn.” His sigh made his head swim once more, and his subsequent calming breaths only served to worsen the sensation. The constant drone pressed down on his head so much the pain from that morning seemed as intimidating as... Geordie couldnt think properly; he could only conjure up an image of Data as he worked at his desk in his quarters, resolutely ignoring Spot on his stack of PADDs, aside from his gentle, regular strokes. The image made him smile, which caused his tensed muscles in his neck and shoulders to spasm, violently. Again, the deep breathing Deanna had helped him with when he’d first arrived on the ship did nothing but worsen the sensation.

Geordie dragged his shaking hand down his face, which came away damp with what Geordie briefly considered to be sweat, before everything went black.

There was a hand on either side of his face, a comforting pressure being applied by what felt like a pair of thumbs around the terminals on his temples. “Do not be alarmed, Geordie.”

Data was whispering, Geordie noted, and his tender head thanked the android for it. “Data? What happened?”

The thumbs stopped rubbing briefly, but resumed without hesitation when Geordie accidentally, slightly whimpered at the loss. “You passed out while completing your tests on the malfunctioning sonic showers. Dr.Crusher administered a variety of medications which she noted in your medical log, if you would like for me to read them to you?”

Despite his hushed tones, Geordie’s head really wasn’t going to put up with any noise for very much longer. “No, no talking, please, Data.” he managed to get out, curling up a little, before starting, which caused his shoulders to spasm lightly. “Wait, my VISOR-” Data’s hands shifted to the problematic muscles immediately, massaging firmly.

“I have your VISOR on the arm of your couch to my left. However, given the negative effect it has had on your condition throughout the day, Dr.Crusher has requested you refrain from replacing it this evening.” There was a pause as a mildly confused but very tired and complacent Geordie allowed himself to be gently manoeuvred into a reclined position, his head in Data’s lap while the second officer returned his hands to Geordie’s head. “I am here to assist you in every way possible, and I have downloaded various massage techniques frequently used on those who suffer from long-term, extreme tension headaches.”

“Why?” Geordie mumbled, slowly drifting off despite the pressure slowly returning with a vengeance behind his eyes.

Another pause, the hands stilled. Geordie frowned and they started to move again, but the silence continued. Just as Geordie was about to fall asleep, Data spoke. “You are my friend.”

“Huh?”

“I am helping you because you are my friend, Geordie.”

Geordie smiled softly, shaking his head. “I know that Data.”

Another pause, much more brief, and the hands did not stop their gentle rubbing on his delicate head. “What was the purpose of your inquiry, Geordie?”

And Geordie, as much as he wanted Data to know, he couldn’t tell him. Couldn’t say he wanted Data to be there because he liked the domesticity of this situation, to be there not only to massage his knotted muscles and play nurse, but to hold his hand, to kiss his forehead, to... “No purpose, Data.” He sighed softly, settling further into his best friend. “None at all.”

His breathing had lengthened, he was almost fully asleep but not quite there yet, when he felt cool lips press against one of the terminals, then the skin right beside it.

“Hmmm, Data?”

A pause. “Yes, Geordie?”

A mumble, the beginnings of a snore.

Slightly more urgently, “Geordie?”

“Said, I l’ve ya,,,”

Several minutes of soft snores and gentle massages later, an almost unintelligible: “I believe... I am in love with you also.”

fin

i was going to put in a bit about Data finding Geordie because he hadn’t gotten back to him about the poker but then i felt like it took from the kind of,,, geordie pov vibe i had going idk

hope you enjoyed!

sorry for all the inevitable typos i did this on my ipad and i didnt proof read because i’m kinda using this one shot prompt thing as a warm up to writing as opposed to actually writing fic? idk if that makes sense but i enjoyed writing it and i hope you enjoy reading it!

[championoftheoppressed]

Watching Picard episode 2 on my lunch break at work! Spoilers under cut.

Things I like:

The use of androids in a large-scale service capacity like Utopia Planitia is chilling, and reminds me of the EMHs being reprogrammed to work on waste barges in Voyager. It seems very non-Federation, but I actually like it. It shows that this organization is not as perfect as it thinks it is, and lets some really dark shit slide by for convenience. And frankly, they brought the Mars Attack on themselves. (I just hope they show that Picard and/or other characters were protesting androids/synthetics being used like this before the attack and subsequent ban.)

Picard’s Romulan friends seem cool, especially Laris.

The new StarFleet uniforms look great and very fitting to the time period. Unlike Discovery *cough.*

I really liked the scene with Picard and the admiral (tho I didn’t think the actress playing the admiral was terribly good). Even though the Federation was clearly in the wrong to abandon the Romulan rescue efforts, you can see why they made the choice they did. Also I gasped when she said “the sheer. fucking. hubris.”

I think this is the first time there’s been a black Trill onscreen?? And she’s very cute.

Some of the designs have mixed results, but overall I think I like that the Romulans have different appearances and hairstyles, instead of all having the bowl cut. I said the opposite about Narek’s appearance in my episode 1 post, but whatever. I changed my mind.

Dr. Jurati is really cute. There’s just something endearing about her that I can’t quite put my finger on. She and Laris are my fave new characters so far.

Things I dislike:

Not sure how I feel about the Romulan secret organization that’s even more super secret amazing than the Tal’Shiar. I mean, I can go with it. But it’s a bit silly.

I don’t care about Narek and Soji’s relationship. They’re very awkward, especially since we know they just met a day or two prior. It’d be easier if they were just... already a couple before the show started and we could have some nice pre-established stuff.

Why is the Stargazer doctor here instead of Crusher?? I don’t mind it I guess, I just wish they gave an explanation. Her absence feels strange.

In fact, their excuses for why Picard isn’t going to Riker or Geordi or anyone for help are falling a bit flat.

It’s strange that the Romulans are still considered enemies, and there’s no acknowledgement of their help during the Dominion War. It’s reasonable that in the decades since the war something happened to worsen relations again, I just wish they said what it was.

Things I’m reserving judgment on:

The Romulans reclaiming Borg drones. I just don’t know where they’re going with it so I can’t decide how I feel yet.

[sshbpodcast]

Tales from the Holodeck: TNG Fanfic: Caitlin’s Story

A Star to Steer Her By is closing the book on Star Trek: The Next Generation with our much anticipated fanfic series “Tales from the Holodeck”! With our random draws for our special guest characters in hand, we’ve written new adventures for the crew of the Enterprise-D for you to enjoy! Listen to the whole episode here, or read on below for Caitlin’s story!

[images © Paramount/CBS]

“The Pulaski Maneuver”

by Caitlin

Random Picks: Katherine Pulaski, Leah Brahms

She wasn’t exactly what you would call a blonde bombshell, but she was no granny, either -  you could see from her bright eyes and sarcastic smile that she almost certainly broke her share of hearts in her heyday. One of those hearts was the subject of her interest for the evening, and she had dressed the part. Her black synthosilk dress fit just right (just as the slaughter of animals was largely a thing of the past thanks to replicators, they had long ago given up raising silkworms just for some soft, shiny fabric), and she had employed a touch of makeup to accentuate her already enviable features.

Katherine, you look pretty damn good tonight, she thought, looking around her. You could give these kids a run for their money…

She sat at a freshly clothed table in a small restaurant, a silently hovering but empty chair across from her awaiting its occupant. The decor was nothing spectacular, though the holo-chandeliers never ceased to impress new visitors - they cast beautiful pastel light and rotated around the room, creating a soft kaleidoscope effect. She had chosen the spot not just because it was one of her favorites, but also because she knew the lighting would give her that vaseline on a camera lens look, and tonight could be an important night...

Katherine was pulled from her thoughts and hopes for the evening by a familiar voice calling to her from across the room. She saw a handsome dark-skinned man approaching, with shocking bright blue eyes; his dress gave him away as a Starfleet officer, yellow for engineering. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t quite place him.

“Dr. Pulaski! Imagine running into you here!” exclaimed Geordi, leaning down to embrace the former CMO of the Enterprise warmly. “It’s so wonderful to see you - how have you been? How’s the on-planet life?”

“Geordi, how nice to see you,” said Pulaski, remembering at last as she returned his hug stiffly - she was not really a hugging person. “Things have been well - as well as they can be, trying to teach advanced medical courses to students who would rather be adventuring on a star ship already. Not as exciting as my time on board the Enterprise, but when Starfleet Academy calls, you answer. You finally took my advice and got the implants - I almost didn’t recognize you!”

“Oh, right - you haven’t seen me out of my visor!” he grinned. He decided to skip telling her about the time he grew new, fully functional eyes - Pulaski wasn’t the type to believe in something so far-fetched. “But say, have you heard the news? Deanna and Will are finally tying the knot!”

A wry smile crossed Pulaski’s face, and she shook her head. “No, I hadn’t heard - I think my invitation must’ve been lost in the mail. Though it’s interesting you ask, I’m meeting Kyle Riker here a little later.” 

Most people might’ve seen that as a tactful way to end a conversation, but Geordi wasn’t most people, and though he was one of the best in terms of engineering, tactful he was not.

Geordi grinned wide, and made sure to log this information away to tease Will. He had heard rumors that Pulaski and Kyle Riker had been… intimate friends, and he knew Will had heard the same ones. He could almost see his face now.

“I’m actually meeting someone for a drink here too,” Geordi offered. “Remember Leah Brahms?”

“Of course I do,” Pulaski replied. “Anyone worth their salt here in Star Fleet knows Dr. Brahms. But why is she meeting you for a drink?” Pulaski tried to keep her question on the right side of rude, but after the infamously embarrassing first encounter between Geordi and Leah, she couldn’t think of any reason, beyond fatalistic female politeness, that would have brought the two of them together in such an intimate fashion.

“Well, I’m sure you know we became great friends after meeting on the Enterprise,” said Geordi, settling into the chair across from Pulaski to continue their conversation. 

“I didn’t realize that, no,” said Pulaski, taking a long sip from her water and wishing it was something stronger. “Fancy that.”

“Well, yeah, we’ve run into each other at a few conferences, exchanged a few subspace communications - mostly when there have been changes made to how I’m running the Enterprise, but they’ve always been very friendly exchanges,” said Geordi, who Pulaski was beginning to think was definitely confusing politeness and mutual friendly interest.

“I see,” said Pulaski. “It’s… nice… that the two of you are able to continue as colleagues and work together with such a... rapport.”

“I thought so too,” said Geordi seriously. “And, I know she’s married, so I have no expectations, obviously, but I’m hoping to ask her tonight if she’d like to go to the Troi-Riker wedding as my date!”

“As your… date?” Pulaski choked on her water. “Surely you can’t be serious…”

“I am serious,” said Geordi. “And don’t call me Shirley.” He grinned, but his smile faltered when Pulaski didn’t respond in kind. “More of a friend date, really, not a date-date.” 

Pulaski fell silent for a moment, holding Geordi’s gaze with a hard stare, before sighing and taking another sip from her near-empty glass.

“It sounds to me like you are in need of a very serious medical intervention,” Pulaski muttered, serving Geordi some serious side eye.

“What? I don’t even feel unwell! How could you determine I need medical attention after what I just - “ 

“Trust me, you need it,” Pulaski said flatly. “It’s a procedure I created and perfected, and in lay terms it’s called the Pulaski Maneuver. It’s used for extraction -

“Extraction?!” Interrupted Geordi. “My god, you think I need to have an ORGAN removed because I suggested -”

“I never said an organ would need to be removed, Mr. La Forge,” said Pulaski. “What needs, in fact, to be removed, is your head from your ass. Are you really suggesting that, after your incredibly unprofessional run-in with Dr. Brahms on board the Enterprise, you would actually have the… unimaginable gall to ask her to be your date to a wedding?” 

“Listen, you don’t really know what you’re talking about here,” said Geordi, gently, like he might with a child mid-tantrum. “Leah and I had a good laugh about it after all was said and done, and besides -”

“Geordi, I can’t believe that, in the 24th century, I have to have this conversation with you,” Pulaski sighed. “We’re supposed to be beyond this now. Some perfect future.”

She folded her hands over her water glass and stuck Geordi with an unflinching stare. “Geordi. Your behavior towards Leah has been incredibly inappropriate. If she had reported you to your superiors, you would have been stripped of your rank and probably black listed from Starfleet altogether.”

“I think you’re making this too big of a deal,” said Geordi nervously, glancing at the parties at nearby tables and gesturing with his hands for her to keep it down. “Please, Katherine, if you could just lower your voice -”

“If it’s not a big deal, why do you care if these people hear about it, Geordi?” spat Pulaski. “Your inappropriate relationship with your Holo-Leah Brahms is not unknown among some of Starfleet, though because she didn’t want to file a report, it’s largely gone ignored. That much is bad enough. To then treat Dr. Brahms with such disrespect when you found she wasn’t who you thought… it is absolutely disgraceful.”

The diners at nearby tables were looking around, trying to not seem obvious in listening to the quickly escalating “friendly” conversation. 

“Now I’ll tell you what you are going to do when Dr. Brahms walks in here to meet you,” continued Pulaski. “And you are going to ask her something, Geordi, but do you know what you’re going to ask her? You’re going to ask her for forgiveness for your disgusting behavior. You are going to do so after acknowledging that you have behaved, frankly, as a cad, and that you are ashamed that things happened the way they did. If I hear from anyone that you actually asked her to attend the Troi-Riker wedding with you, Geordi, I will reverse the Pulaski Maneuver and stick your head so far up your ass you’ll be able to see your vocal cords. Do we have an understanding?”

Geordi leapt up from his chair, blushing a deep crimson red. “Katherine, I-I had no idea,” he stammered. “Le - Dr. Brahms has always acted so friendly when we talked, I had no clue she was so upset.”

“No, you wouldn’t, would you, Geordi?” scoffed Pulaski. “Too wrapped up in your own hurt pride to think about how she was feeling, and what a horrible position you put her in. Did you know that in the 21st century, brilliant women in science and technology fields went through this kind of disgusting harassment regularly? Brilliant minds were forced to flee from their fields because they were the subjects of mockery and gross misconduct from their male colleagues and worse, their superiors.”

Geordi stood, mouth agape, in shocked silence. “Katherine… you’re right,” said Geordi. “I’ve been such a fool, a disgrace to my uniform.” He buried his head in his hands, and Pulaski thought she spied a glimmer of gathering tears in his unearthly blue eyes. “Thank you, Katherine, for making me see the truth, the reality of how I’ve behaved. I will tell Leah -”

“Tell Leah what?” asked a cautious but friendly female voice, from behind Geordi. 

Geordi jumped, visibly startled by the arrival of his intended dinner partner, ran a thumb across his eyes to slick away the threatening tears, and turned to look at Dr. Brahms, who stood before him with an eyebrow raised. “Leah! I, uh, I was going to tell you that Katherine sends her regards, but now you’re here and she can send them herself, can’t you, doctor?” He turned back to Pulaski, eyes pleading for her to not rat him out.

Pulaski cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, shooting Geordi one last quick glare before turning her attention to Leah and smiling. “Dr. Brahms! Wonderful to see you. How are your husband and the children?” 

“They’re doing well, thank you,” said Leah warmly, crossing to Katherine and greeting her with a quick kiss on each cheek. Leah was dressed in what looked like her usual work clothes, with one of her signature turtlenecks, her hair scooped back into a loose twist at the back of her head. To look at her, you would think her ready for a fight, not feast. “Always lovely to run into you. Geordi, did you still want to grab that drink?”

Geordi looked at the two women, and saw them as both wearing battle armor - one for love, one for war. He smiled. “I would like that, Leah, if you are willing. I… would really like to talk to you about something important. I… realize what an ass I’ve been, and I owe you an apology. Can we find a quiet table to talk?”

Leah looked shocked, and Pulaski looked smug. Another successful use of the Pulaski Maneuver. Now if only Geordi could keep his head on his shoulders and not up his - Well. She would give him the benefit of the doubt. For now. “You two enjoy, it seems like you have a lot to talk about,” said Pulaski, craning her neck to see around them. It was then that she spotted Kyle Riker walking into the bar, and smiled. As tall and handsome as ever, she thought, a smile curving one half of her mouth. “Besides, my visitor has just arrived. Go on, you two, before you make yourselves a nuisance.” She gestured as if to hurry them along, and then smiled and waved at Kyle. He saw her, smiled, and started on his way over.

As Geordi and Leah walked across the room to find a quiet spot, Geordi overheard Kyle say, “Katherine, did you hear about Will? He and Deanna are to be married. And I wanted to ask… would you be willing to join me as my guest for the blessed event?” 

Geordi hid a smile. He knew the conversation he was about to have with Leah would be unpleasant at best, but at least he had some serious dirt to throw at Will next time he saw him. But he knew he had learned something more valuable than romantic gossip that day, and he vowed, silently, to be a better man for it.

—

We’re moving on to new Star Trek and Star Trek–related series we’re sure you’ll enjoy, so be sure to keep listening on SoundCloud, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and pull your head out of your ass, Geordi!

[halfwayinlight]

Title:  Fauxrents, Ch 3 Rating: PG, possibly up to PG13 in future chapters Fandom: Star Trek TNG Pairing: Will Riker/Deanna Troi

It wasn’t surprising that the corridors of the Enterprise were empty at zero twenty, but Will didn’t realize exactly how tired he was until he passed Deanna’s door and nearly gained his and realized he was supposed to be three more decks away. To where she was staying with the Potts boys several decks below. Running his hand over his beard in frustration, he went ahead and entered his own quarters. He might as well take a quick sonic shower, change into his bedclothes, and grab a fresh uniform for in the morning.

Thus far, he was nearly a week into life as a parent-by-proxy, and things were settling a little. The boys were getting better at doing their homework and having it mostly completed by the time that either he or Deanna met them in the evenings. Deanna had found a few activities to better cover the gap between the end of the school day and shift changes.

They’d discovered that the boys liked playing various games and enjoyed swimming, which they had previously only done on shore leave. So at least twice now, including in the earlier evening, they all went for a long swim after dinner. It wore out the boys, and it was a good stress release. And besides, he knew Deanna enjoyed the water, even if she still thought it was weird that humans insisted on swimsuits. He would never stop teasing her about that.

He tried not to think about how nice his bed would feel right about now. The Potts quarters did have the main bedroom, but it still felt too strange to sleep in a couple’s bed that wasn’t his. The couch wasn’t nearly long enough. More than once he found Deanna asleep on it before he was ready for bed. And he envied how she always seemed to curl so neatly on it. It was about time to check with Data or Geordi about other options because he’d spent half the day with an aching back from trying to fit himself onto the sofa.

Perception, Will reflected, really was a strange thing. It felt like it took twice as long to walk to the turbolift, go three more decks down, and walk two corridors than it had taken for him to leave the bridge and get to his own quarters. The distance was only a little further, but the family corridors were silent this late.

This particular call out so late at night was a two-part issue. The first was a yellow alert from a dicey situation with the region of space and a borderline-hostile and certainly not friendly ships patrolling the region. He had managed to smooth things over without an actual incident and without needing to rouse the captain, who had been working far too much in the last weeks and needed sleep worse than Will. He’d asked Data to call him first tonight. And although it was the most pressing to the overall wellbeing of the ship, it had turned out to be the easier of the two issues needing his attention.

Once the alert was over, a call had come up from sickbay requesting senior staff. Will had turned over command to Data and dutifully made his way down. When he had walked into the ICU area, Will found the doctor on duty with four surly looking patients.

Ensign Sa’Naar was glaring at the floor, his left eye swollen shut. Starling and Ulani were two other ensigns, both fresh out of the academy and on their first assignments. Just new enough and resembling one another enough that Will still struggled to distinguish them from the other. One was being tended to by a nurse who was mending something in his hand. The other screened for internal injuries. And the ever-eager-to-prove-herself Von Treaes was sitting in the farthest bio bed protesting that she was fine in an uncanny mimic of the way Deanna usually handled her stays in sickbay. With no more success than the counselor, either. As she was clearly unable to get up from the table without assistance.

No one had wanted to talk for long minutes. In the end, it took the report of the security officer on watch tonight and a few previous odd reports to piece it together. And Starling had broken first, pulled into a private room. Twelve questions in, and the whole story behind the overly competitive ensigns had unraveled.

All four were confined to separate private cubicles in sickbay while they rested. Tomorrow he’d have to investigate everything. He had no issue with blowing off steam. Or friendly competition. There were plenty of tournaments during the course of any given year for all sorts of games and sports. But a fight ring on Deck 28 in some empty storage bays made Will’s blood boil. There was nothing sporting or okay about knocking each other senseless.

For now, though, his initial anger had burned off. It was far past time to be sleeping. He could only imagine what Deanna and the captain were going to have to say about this. That was a problem for tomorrow. Or at least six hours from now.

He’d fully prepared to have to move Deanna before he fell asleep on the couch in the Potts quarters. In fact, he was really looking forward to her familiar weight and warmth resting against him. He swore he slept better with her beside him. In all honesty, he was tired of the couch, though. It was too short and forced him to scrunch into awkward positions. Sending him twice to sickbay for a head ache caused by pinched nerves in his neck one day and muscle spasms in his back on another. Easily remedied by Beverly… but even she had questioned why he was putting himself through it. The simplest answer was that he had been too busy during the day to deal with a better bed solution.

The lounge was silent. Lights still on as they had been when he was called away a few hours ago. He trudged on toward the low light still on in the boys’ room, and he was fully prepared to lay down the law about how they had to go to sleep. Deanna would be wiped out in the morning, and she was never a morning person as it was.

But he found everyone deeply asleep. Both boys and Deanna, still in her maroon suit, were on Willie’s bed in a big cuddly pile. His breath left him in a rush. It wasn’t something he had known he’d ever wanted until he saw this. This small slice of domestic normalcy.

For long moments he wondered what it would’ve been like. If he’d said yes six years ago. If he’d met her at Risa. If he’d tried to make it work. If he’d turned down the Potemkin. If he had done anything to pursue what she had so clearly wanted. What he had feared. And now he was feeling foolish and wondering what, exactly, he had feared. If they would’ve had a kid already. Probably not right away. But in six years, they might have had one.

And he might have screwed that up, too. Or messed up a kid along the way. Probably not the same way his father had… but the specter of that lurked.

He was so, so tired. But he couldn’t drag himself away just yet. He was trying to absorb this moment and the way that Willie was sprawled across his bed, his hand curled around Deanna’s arm, reaching for assurance even in sleep. The boy’s pillow was damp with drool. And Jake was curled up, his back to Deanna’s. But still close enough to seek the warmth and comfort she offered.

A family to come home to, even if it’s only temporary. Why the hell did he run from this?

He wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to seek out his own comfort tonight. Rubbing his face and beard, he made his way to the far side. Jake was lean for his age, not that Will was complaining. His arms slid under knees and shoulders, and he lifted quickly and moved the older boy to his own bed a few feet away. In retrospect, he should’ve pulled down the covers first. But Jake wasn’t complaining.

It was going to be a tight fit with both him and Deanna on the twin bed, but he was determined to make it work. One down, one to go. He carefully eased Willie’s hand from Deanna’s arm and tried to shift her without waking her.

A hand caught his arm and a groggy protest. “ ‘was warm,” she mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Sssh, I’m moving him over so I can sleep—”

“Not fair to kick him out of his own bed,” Deanna countered groggily. She pushed herself up, blinking owlishly and clearly attempting to muster the energy to get to her feet and trudge to the other room.

He sighed but nodded, his brain too tired to figure out how this was going to work now. But he slid an arm around her and let her lean on him as he tugged the blanket back over the youngest boy and led her back to the lounge, calling for the lights to dim. Will planned to tuck her into the sofa, but she caught his arm and pulled him down to the cushions.

The last days since they had suddenly taken on parenthood, each night seemed to end with both of them too exhausted to make many decisions. Maybe it was better this way. So he went with it and stretched out, trying to find a cushion to support his head and neck.

In moments, she was curling into the spaces left. Her head tucked under his chin, weight shifted somewhere atop him and supported by the back cushions. Reaching awkwardly and trying not to move her too much, Will snagged the blanket from the previous night and managed to get it more or less over Deanna. “’s that ok?”

Silence was his answer. She had fallen back to sleep as quickly as she had awakened. Almost alarmingly quickly. And it occurred him that this wasn’t keeping any kind of boundaries between them. But his thoughts were hard to hold onto right now. Because she was warm. And here. And it felt like something he imagined marriage to be. But before he could turn over that thought to examine it, the day closed in over him. And he slept.

[bluering8]

TNG S02

TNG S02 roundup let’s do this let’s make it happen!

Data - I still love Data!! That’s it that’s all you’re getting on the topic because I love Data so much that if you let me talk about him at all I’ll Talk Forever and there are non-Data things in this show which  need to talk about.

Geordi la Forge - I’m glad that Geordi’s the chief engineer now. Last season was kind of weird in that there wasn’t a dedicated engineer character so they were pulling out a new random yellowshirt every time they needed someone to explain a thing to the main cast. If I’m yelling something at the screen (use a shuttle! fly in a different direction! fate is bullshit shut up riker!) then usually Geordi will be the one to say it. This is like, one of the fastest ways you can possibly endear a character to me.

Anyway, I love Geordi and I love his friendship with Data and honestly, you could give me an entire show entirely about these two being bros and I would adore it. I forgot that Geordi likes to build model ships, but now I remember and it delights me that he’s just like, a huge fucking dork in his own right.

...it occurs to me that I’m better-disposed to characters when I know what their hobbies are. Part of the reason I love Data and Geordi so much both as individuals and as a brotp is that the show devotes a lot of time to showing them fucking around and getting into shenanigans outside of their duties. Contrast that with the characters I’m more ambivalent towards, such as Riker or Dr Crusher, and it becomes really obvious that part of the reason I’m ambivalent towards them is that I have no real idea what they do when they’re not doing their jobs.

Kate Pulaski - I hated Pulaski the first time I watched TNG and now, several years later, it turns out that I still hate Pulaski!! I talked about her before and tl;dr: my issue with her isn’t how she treats Data or that she’s decided he isn’t a person, but that she thinks treating someone that way is acceptable as long as she’s decided they’re not a person. Listen, mate, I’m not here to insist that everyone should be a perfect morally-pure cinnamon roll (all my faves are problematic as Hecke). I hate Pulaski because it would be so so easy for me to love her as a character, but she simply doesn’t fit the universe. In a grittier setting? Fantastic, splendid, superlative, I’ll take ten. In spacefuture utopia? I can believe in Pulaski as a person who might exist, sure, but I cannot believe that the rest of the Enterprise crew would stand there and watch her treat Data the way she treats Data, and not respond by hauling her off for sensitivity training. I hate Pulaski not because there’s anything wrong with Pulaski, but because the way the rest of the characters let her get away with it feels like a betrayal of everything I believed in about Star Trek.

Wesley Crusher - Alias FUCKING WESLEY THE WORST CHARACTER, because he is the absolute worst. Why is he wearing a uniform now? I am not usually a guy with strong opinions about wardrobe choices, but I actually really liked his collection of ugly-ass sweaters. If Wesley adds anything to the cast it’s his identity as someone who, despite all his smarts, is still just a teenaged civilian, and as a result lacks both the experience and the training of the other characters. Once you stick him in a uniform you start to lose the impact of that difference. I mean yes the difference will inevitably be lost as he embarks on his Starfleet career but at this point he’s still not even a real cadet yet, let me have the one thing I actually kind of like about the character.

Also why is he on the bridge. Seriously why. Why why why. Stop this!!

William Riker - Somehow it took me until halfway through this season to realise that Riker is mostly just a clone of Kirk? I think this contributes to how bland I find him, all Kirk’s philosophical inclinations got given to Picard instead so Riker ends up feeling super flat and underdeveloped. He’s, like, generally a decentish person (sometimes), and he’s good at his job (sometimes), and he flirts with pretty ladies (often), and his dad is a piece of shit? That’s all I’ve got on him. Dude could use another personality trait or three.

S02E02 Where Silence Has Lease - I have very mixed feelings about this episode. The first half was excellent horror, the kind of thing I love about the SCP Foundation or the Sick Land, that scenario where you’re trying to look at a thing from the perspective of a researcher but you’re in a situation where research simply doesn’t work because the thing is a fundamental violation of the way you interact with reality, and you’ve reached the point where all you can do is look at it and describe what you’re seeing and hope really, really hard that someone will figure something out eventually maybe. (The exploration of the Yamato reminded me a lot of House of Leaves, which also has that delicious sense of nightmarish slowburn reality-breakdown even if it lacks the desperate attempts to Do Science to something which completely resists the application of the scientific method.) Horror is an incredibly subjective genre, but for me a vital part of it is denying me any explanation while maintaining the illusion that if I go just a little further, learn just a little more, suddenly I’ll have my explanation and everything will make sense.

This episode not only gives an explanation, but salts the wound by giving an incredibly shitty explanation. See, something something rats in a maze and then there’s a face in the sky and I don’t give a shit. It was Whatsisface all along!! All it achieves is making me super super confused about what are Whatsisface’s capabilities even. He can make fake ships and fake people and instakill a dude, but he can’t deactivate the ship’s autodestruct or prevent Picard from activating the autodestruct in the first place?

S02E03 Elementary, Dear Data - What the fuck is up with the holodeck? My friend pointed out that “bear in mind they probably have a thousand problem free uses of the holodeck for every freak issue” but like, that’s not the fucking issue here, the issue is that regardless of how many problem-free uses they’ve had, they’ve also had an alarmingly high number of potentially-fatal malfunctions in a relatively short span of time. Why is overriding the mortality failsafe even a thing which is possible?? I can completely buy the holodeck being too useful as a training tool to get rid of it, but they should really have some kind of restrictions or guidelines on the thing for recreational use. You’ve had it demonstrated to you multiple times over that holodeck malfunctions can end in corpses, why are you not doing something about this! Why is there apparently no Health & Safety department on this ship!!

S02E07 Unnatural Selection - Philosophical argument time: do transporters kill people? Normally I’m happy to put this question in a box labelled “let’s not think about that too hard” but the ending of this episode makes more sense to me if the answer is yes. Instead of some bullshit technobabble de-aging nonsense, what they’re actually doing is replicating a new body using the hair as reference and jamming Pulaski’s memories into it then destroying the old body.

S02E09 The Measure of a Man - See, Bruce Maddox is Pulaski done right. I’m straight-up incandescently mad that this episode was Pulaski-free, because whenever she never misses the opportunity to remind Data that he’s not a person, and I super wanted Pulaski and Maddox to interact. Pulaski’s absence here makes the issue with how casually the show treats her attitude towards Data even worse. I feel like if you’re going to spend an episode debating whether Data counts as a person you should at least have the decency to acknowledge the cast member who comes down firmly on the “no” side. You can’t have Data’s personhood as a serious topic for serious debate while simultaneously shrugging your shoulders and going yeah well Pulaski’s just Like That I guess nbd. It doesn’t work that way!

S02E10 The Dauphin - “She’s perfect, absolutely perfect,” says FUCKING WESLEY THE WORST CHARACTER about a girl he’s only met once and barely exchanged a dozen words with, and then he gets super super mad when it turns out she’s a weird space alien shapeshifted into a human which just goes to prove that her personality mattered to him not one iota and he only liked her because she was hot and gave him a boner. And... that’s it, that’s the episode. There’s no subplot, nothing else happens, the entire episode is about FUCKING WESLEY THE WORST CHARACTER having a crush. In conclusion: FUCKING WESLEY THE WORST CHARACTER.

S02E15 Pen Pals - If anyone ever attempts to fight me on the topic of Does Data Is Emotions?, this is the episode I’m pointing them to. I’m pretty sure there’s not a single action Data takes in this entire episode which can be justified from a completely unemotionless point of view. He goes from “I’m too focused on my personal project to spend two seconds stacking this crap neatly so I’ll just leave it lying around as a trip hazard” to “hey Captain remember when you said I could break the Prime Directive a little bit, is it okay if I break it twice that much? actually I broke it ten times that much sorry not sorry” to “so I know this kid has no memory of me or our interactions now but I stole Pulaski’s weird space rock to give to her anyway because sentiment is important to me”.

S02E17 Samitarian Snare - The a-plot of this episode is that multiple people tell Riker that sending their chief engineer over to some random alien vessel is a bad idea while Riker tries to insist that it is a great idea and will be totally fine and then is completely fucking blindsided when it turns out to have been a terrible idea. I’m pretty sure this is the first time Troi’s said anything useful so of course Riker ignored her because she’s not allowed to be a worthwhile character.

The b-plot is that Picard and Wesley take a shuttle trip together and Wesley is so incapable of taking a fucking hint that even when Picard gets up and moves seats to be away from him Wesley doesn’t realise that his constant stream of personal questions might not be welcome. In conclusion: FUCKING WESLEY THE WORST CHARACTER.

S02E18 Up the Long Ladder - Oh my god it’s like they listened to my complaints about S01E17 and somehow managed to fuck it up even worse!! WHY ARE YOU ALL SO WEIRD ABOUT CLONING.

tl;dr: Direct from my liveblogging of S02E03: “DATA CHANGED HIS OUTFIT data my boy my son my precious cinnamon roll how many sherlock holmes cosplay outfits do you own”. I know the reasonable explanation would be that he replicates one fresh each time, but I choose to believe that Data owns an entire closetful of Sherlock Holmes cosplay outfits.

[airlocksandaviaries]

Every Data Outfit Ever, Rated (pt 3)

^^^^^^^ you guys brought this upon yourselves. Are you ready. FOR PART THREEEEEE. I don’t think you are.

#22 - Vulcan Data

5/10

Cute. But I can hardly recognize him. He has no Data Makeup on so he looks a little more like Brent Spiner. To be fair, Spiner was actually incredibly attractive during in the 80s. But that’s Brent Spiner, not this Vulcan Data abomination. Also, he looks really gay here. Gay AND Vulcan. That’s like double gay. I know this review was chaotic, but this look honestly confuses the hell outta me. Hence the medium rating. It’s so cute and so ugly at the same time it cancelled itself out making it neutral.

#23 - Jeffries Tube Maintenance Suit

6/10

okay hear me out. It’s not spectacular. It looks like just another generic TNG out of uniform outfit, which are usually ugly as hell. But this one is kinda cute!!! And it looks really soft!! And it matches his uniform color......

.....

.........also I read a  fic once where Data and Geordi had a messy makeout session in the Jeffries tubes. It was an amazing fic. That’s the only reason I rated this fit as high as I did. I have nothing to say for myself. But. LOOK AT THEM. They’re in love! What are they exploring in there??? Each others’ bodies??? Gay ass engineers. I love them. 

#24 - Whatever the Fuck This is

2/10

Honey, no.

#25 - Data’s Disembodied Head

0/10

PUT IT BACK

#26 - 1890s Data, pt 1

50/10

Listen, I’m a simple man(/woman/person/creetchure, etc..). I see someone who is ALREADY ATTRACTIVE wearing VICTORIAN STYLE CLOTHING, I lose my fucking shit. Look at this guy. Look at him. Look at my boy. This is so gay. I am so gay. Doesn’t matter what fucking gender. He has them all. The vest. The shirt. The Bow Tie. THE FUCKING POCKET WATCH. I’m gonna eat my couch cushions. (but we can do better-)

#27 - 1890s Data, pt 2

60/10

It’s a darker suit. And he has a jacket with it this time. I’mg ghghaks djdshajdg kewlgaiulgdkbasldglewuhwHWEIIuAJFGjFG JWHG WEGEHGSD GDGJSDGHSG FHJ GJDHSGFHJGFJHGFGFFFFGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

#28 - 1890s Data, pt 3

10000/10

AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#29 - 👀

👀/10

hwhat are they doing.

....I fucking knew he was a bottom-

oooooKAY and THAT concludes part 3!! And this is just season 5! He wears so many outfits in the later seasons it’s ridiculous. Tune in next time for season 6. Thanks for all the notes so far!

Part 1

Part 2