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vaelzz · 2 months ago

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It feels so odd to be treated with kindness and respect. I think people do themselves a disservice by keeping dismissive, toxic or downright negative friends, family or romantic interests in their lives. On the other hand I know how isolating it can be to cut it all out and just be left with your own thoughts in an endless echo chamber debating that you might actually be the toxic/negative, that you might be overly sensitive or perhaps selfish/narcissistic for feeling hurt over people downplaying or wilfully ignoring something you've achieved…

In worst cases downright insulted and degraded which I personally have always understood as people projecting their own insecurities and envy which helps ignore it sure but even still when it is persistent it slowly wears you down over time and serves as a way to validate your own internal negative thinking about yourself. I'd think I'd only care about what I truly think but then I'd simply let myself be exposed to negativity until it's literally hardwired into my very being and being told positive things is met with a lot of internal resistance because I truly don't believe it. The worst part is that I feel guilty for not truly appreciating kindness or affection which makes me anxious because I am unable to reciprocate and I understand it's not supposed to be like a transaction but when someone is genuinely nice to me I just melt into a puddle of confusion. This is all internal though because on the outside it's easiest to just say "Thanks!" and move on because exposing the issues I see can be seen as attention seeking or just simply draining to people which will be met with frustration and resistance from them.

But again it just feels so bizarre to have someone be genuinely appreciative. The screenshot attached to this post is an old artwork of mine reposted to the story of a new very special individual who has entered my life and it really puts into perspective the stark differences in every simple interaction. It feels so crazy to me that I'd invest so much time and energy into people that would refuse to input even the bare minimum and would even go as far to exert their own expectations followed by incessant downplay at every opportunity.

The artwork is from 2015 and it's taken on a cheap borrowed school camera at The Den Of Nargun and then further edited and painted over on my old craptop and only a mouse (R.I.P pre-tablet days) so screen was barely calibrated or accurate but it was inspired by The Hallow in Terraria which is one of my favourite games. I remember showing it to a close friend of mine this after gifting them a Canon film camera that had a good lens. (it was old and compatible with their new Canon and I used Sony so why not) But they literally said it looked like vomit which beyond irked me because whilst it's not perfect it was a prominent creation in my life when I was just 17 in highschool without many resources. I also won an acquisitive art award for it alongside another piece called An Ever Flowing Stream of Eternity, acquisitive meaning the local gallery acquired it and I was given $500 alongside some other art supply gifts which I don't like to brag about but surely it must have some merit or value for that? Certainly not vomit right?????

I guess to top it off I was only sharing it because having gifted them a camera I was recommending locations to go except they literally went 2 days later without telling me after I said I wanted to return there and retake some pictures now I am older with a better camera. Definitely some strong gaslighting there when trying to confront it but that's whatever but what really irked me was them just shoving all their photographs in my face and essentially demanding praise and getting upset if it's anything less than positive. I'd never really share much of my art or things I made because people wouldn't really care which I figured is fair enough because everyone has different tastes and there is zero expectation for someone to like or appreciate anything you do but after so many years of that you just feel so empty. Because this is just one instance but there are countless instances with plenty of other people too which is incredibly demotivating because why bother doing or sharing anything that someone is just going to devalue? Might as well focus my attention elsewhere??? Except I'd still always have that inherent drive to create and achieve things so ultimately it just led to cyclic toxic cycles of internalized perfectionism.

But now being met with something as simple and trivial as a story repost followed by being spammed likes because I felt sad about this artwork being called "vomit" and an overall general lack of appreciation after discussing some concepts around Tall Poppy Syndrome it just… idk it sort of warms my heart and honestly I was melting a bit and I felt so guilty that this person was showing kindness and appreciation towards me because I felt so underserving? The crazy thing is that it's so simple and basic yet feels so foreign to me to have someone take the time and basic thought to undertake the gesture. For the record the share and likes are meaningless, it's all just superficial social media bullshit but the simple gesture and thought is what touches me deeply yet it feels like such a basic and trivial thing so it really makes me think back to when I'd let negative people remain in my life and convince myself I'm selfish for ever having the passing thought that I'd like the same respect and energy given to be returned mutually.

#Thoughts #Me

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kamabokobun · 3 months ago

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How do you characterize the ancient hero and the princess of the first calamity era? I'm obsessed with them but can never seem to decide on what they're like - so I'm curious how you imagine them!

Edit: don’t read this . It is outdated and dumb + I somehow mischaracterized my own characterizations. Not even sure how I managed to do that to be honest

HI!!!! I’m very happy about this ask. sorry in advance

Just a warning. My interpretations of the ancient hero and zelda are very, very oc-ified. Absolutely none of this is based on facts I am straight up making things up about them. anyway i hope you enjoy

My ancient hero is the worst guy ever. Insufferably cocky and is somehow still very good at what he does (in this case, being the hero chosen by the Master Sword). Unfortunately, he knows how good he is and makes it everyone else’s (especially zelda's) problem. He’s the Main Character. Of course, all of this is probably a cover-up for some kind of low self-esteem or deep-set insecurity or something, but that isn't really that important. right

My ancient zelda takes her role of princess/goddess reborn very seriously. (I mean, she has to.) While she puts on a stoic face for others, she is secretly riddled with dread. Although she is pretty (genuinely) confident in her abilities, she can't help but fear that despite her best efforts, something will go wrong, and she will be responsible for failing her kingdom and bringing it to ruin. yeesh

The ancient hero and zelda do NOT get along with each other (WELL. That isn't completely true? i guess? they become friends during the calamity i think. idk. character development or something)

Zelda feels as though the hero isn't treating his responsibilities with the respect they deserve. In a way she almost resents him for being allowed to act like a pompous child while she has to take on all the responsibility and worry that comes with trying to make sure absolutely everything goes to plan.

& The hero thinks zelda is far too high-strung, but he doesn't dislike her. In fact he likes to mess with her- to break her facade every once in a while. In his head, it's a waste of time to be afraid. Especially since they have the sheikah technology on their side. Ganon has been sealed before. Zelda's just ruining his fun for no reason. this'll be a piece of cake. right

ANYWAY this post is long and my ideas are half-baked I HOPE THIS ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION!!!! <3<3

#ask #ancient hero's aspect #i am not very confident in my writing abilities sorrgy </3 #my ideas are still halfbaked even a year later </3 #I want to do ancient hero and zelda justice someday </3 #I still had fun thinking about them seriously again. sigh #keep in mind i will forget all of this and the next time i draw them they will be out of character /j (probably)

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mantequillamcwhoremick · 4 months ago

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hah i so knew someone would have already asked for Kenny lol if you are still bored - Kevin? 🫶

Omg thanks for the ask!!! Hheheheheh this is an interesting one....

Favorite thing about them:

There's literally so little about him so it's hard to pinpoint something canon to deem my favorite thing but I guess I would say his adult design. idk it just speaks volumes about his character, especially when you compare how well put-together Karen looks next to him. I have a million Kevin McCormick ideas and a oneshot about him and Kenny in the works.

Least favorite thing about them:

I have a hard time with this part of the ask meme bc most characters don't have something I blatantly don't like, even their worst flaws are interesting and engaging. So I'm just gonna say I hate how little info there is to him

Favorite line:

"'Just take a seat in there, kids.'" /mockingly (S15, "The Poor Kid") he has like 4 canon lines or smth but the way he imitates the police officer here just kinda speaks volumes to me about his character

brOTP:

lol idk I'm just gonna go with Kenny, they deserve some genuine screen time together

OTP:

this one is fairly common but Shelley & Kevin. It makes sense. Do they have any canon interactions? No. Have they ever even been in the same frame together? Not that I remember. Is that gonna stop me or all the fantastic fanartists I've seen draw these two from rooting for them? Absolutely fucking not. They're two very outsider-coded kids, and by what we've seen of Kevin's characterization and Shelley's boyfriend Larry Feegan (who died </3), he could definitely be Shelley's type. It would be an entertaining dynamic to explore in canon & fic.

nOTP:

Random headcanon:

I think he is autistic and/or has another developmental disability. It just checks out with what we've seen of him, how he's been characterized, and I'm pretty sure he has inherited his parents emotional problems as well, since we see him physically fighting and insulting Stuart in s15's "The Poor Kid" even though Carol is telling them both to stop and Karen is crying. In the "Bigger, Longer and Uncut" "Blame Canada" song it is revealed that Carol thought Kenny had the stuff to become a doctor or a lawyer, and given the aforementioned headcanon I kinda can see Kevin being written off as a good-for-nothing by his parents. This is supported by Carol calling him, alongside Stuart, a "drunk piece of shit". I can imagine him getting into lots of problems when he's older, as evidenced by how old and shabby he looks as an adult next to Karen, who probably looks as put-together as she does due to having grown up receiving support from Kenny.

Unpopular opinion:

I see him being characterized as a good brother to Karen and Kenny sometimes and as much as I would love that to be true, I doubt they have a good relationship, if any at all. He seems more like a super distant kind of older brother to me, who occasionally becomes Kenny's problem when he comes home drunk or high or when Kenny has to pick Kevin up from the police station because their parents are working or just being neglectful. I can imagine Kevin being an inspiration to Kenny for all the things he never wants to do to Karen, even if it never should have been Kevin OR Kenny's responsibility to step up for their younger siblings in their parents' place. I can see Kevin even resenting Kenny and claiming he's their parents' favorite, similar to how Shelley does with Stan.

Song i associate with them:

I'm sorry I can't think of one hsdjhaskjd but I'll edit this post once I do!!

Favorite picture of them:

It's a yucky picture I'm just a big fan of his adult design <3333

#kevin mccormick #sp kevin #ask game #sp kenny #kenny mccormick #hcs #character analysis

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ivestas · 2 years ago

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bro,,,your last ghost one,,,,head full, big thonks

what if hound!reader never went looking for simon because she thought he was dead?? or better yet, she DID look, so vigorously in fact that her superiors at the time maybe misinformed her of his death, even going as far as planting fake evidence??👁👁

also im thinking about old nicknames..,.,hitting him with the "si-guy" or "'mon-mon the man" or smth 💀

can’t say goodbye to yesterday

PART TWO TO ‘HEARTS ALIGNED’

Summary: You were deceived by the same people you fought for. You discuss it with Ghost.

Tags: soldier!fem!reader (call sign “hound”) x ghost (2022 version), childhood friends, smoking, canon divergence of both the game and the oneshot, barely edited, death, lowkey konig x reader

Word count: 1.4k

Notes: anon, you're genuinely such a GENIUS!!!! those thonks fr are gold bc now my head is full of thonks too hehe---this post will hopefully extend those clever thonks and added more???

You were sitting against the wall while Ghost was laying in his cot. The night had grown old, but you refused to leave him—that won’t happen again, not now, not ever.

You were on your third cigarette, the smoke having long since coated your mouth in a thick layer of cheap tobacco and newspaper. Ghost didn’t seem to mind, laying on his side, watching you with tired eyes—more so watching the cigarette.

Extending it forward, your head tipped to the side. “You sure you don’t want one?”

“No. I should be sleeping.”

“You’re eyeing my cigarette though.”

“Just lost in thought.”

“About smoking a cigarette?”

He huffed. “No. Just...” he sat up now, the cot straining under his movement. “You’ve changed. And you also haven’t—and you haven’t told me why you didn’t search for me.”

You frowned.

“Jus’ tell me that. Tell me why. I don’t give a bloody fuck if you were just too lazy too—”

“Smoke with me and I’ll tell you everything.” Your voice was strained.

Emotions were high, tension was thick, maybe it was foolish to think that would just dissolve by planting yourself in his room. You weren’t kids. This wasn’t just a blow-up about something dumb, and you hated it. Because at least when you were kids, the arguments were insignificant, the worst that could happen is you calling him a ‘booger-brained idiot’.

This was real. This brought true hurt.

You were thankful when Ghost finally nodded, getting up and sitting across you on the floor. Despite sitting criss-crossed, he was huge. He towered over you. König would often shimmy away, giving you a little space—he’d bend his body downward in a vain attempt to dwarf himself.

But Ghost sat tall. He stared right at you and lifted a hand.

You gave him the cigarette.

You watched as he lifted the balaclava a little, setting the end at the bridge of his nose. It was just a small sliver of his face, but fuck did it strike you right at your heart.

His face was all firm lines—carved and rigid, with the lightest scar running along his lips.

Simon—smaller, younger Simon—had a round face. Soft cheeks, a crooked smile, unscarred.

You looked away to the side at the hard concrete wall, back pressed against it.

A waft of smoke hit you, then a finger lightly tapped on your hands.

You turned. Ghost was lifting the cigarette to you.

Taking it, you murmured a quick thanks before taking a puff out of it yourself. Ghost tugged down the balaclava once more.

“Why didn’t you search for me?”

“I did,” you responded simply. “It was when I was younger. Naive. More trusting. You know, I searched for you every moment I got—thought you still went by ‘Simon Riley’. Even went as far as to go to the superiors and ask all nicely—told them, ‘he’s the son of that piece of shit drunkard, the one who you constantly kissed up to.’” You laugh though it’s devoid of any humor.

Ghost only watched, listened, eyes flicking between the cigarette and your straying gaze.

“They—they told me you were dead. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. ‘Simon Riley was killed in action a few years back’ one of them had told me, all sad-like and frowning. ‘He was a good soldier.’” You scoffed. “No fanfare, no tricks, they just—they said you were dead. Showed me a document or two, I hardly fuckin’ remember, I just... I tried to forget. Not to care.”

Your hands were shaking. You didn’t know why. Your heart was silent, so was your mind, but your body—it was moving on its own. As though shedding a deeper feeling your own mind couldn’t process.

“So can you imagine my surprise when, just a few months ago, a man named ‘Ghost’ happens to be registered as ‘Simon Riley’ in their files? I couldn’t believe it, thought there was another Simon Riley whose from the UK, but I was curious. So... yeah. I ended up in KorTac ‘cause I heard rumors 141 was gonna come along and do some mission together.” Again, you laughed. “Then I saw you—and fuck, did I tell you how much you’ve grown? You look so different—actually can I say something weird?”

“Yeah.” His eyes met yours.

An unfamiliar smile formed on your lips. “It... it makes me happy, seeing you with that Scot, all grown, and... it’s hard to put into words, but it makes me feel proud. And it also hurts like a bitch.”

He hummed. “Could say the same.”

“Then say the same. I want to hear it, Simon.”

“It makes me feel proud, and it hurts like a bitch.”

You snorted. “Ass.”

He reached for your cigarette. You handed it to him. “So... does that clear things?”

“Yep,” he tugged his balaclava off this time, pushing the cigarette between his lips. He’s handsome. “Shoulda guessed you’re too much of a gullible dumbass to find me.”

“You piece of—keep talking shit and I’ll kick your ass!” You reached for the cigarette. He moved away from your reach, a shit-eating grin now plastered on his face.

“You kickin’ my ass? I’d like to see you try, pipsqueak.”

“Don’t test me mon-mon.”

He glared. “Mon-mon?”

“Sorry, wait, mon mon the man—my bad, nearly forgot the whole damn title.”

“Keep callin’ me that and I’ll be the one kicking your ass.”

“Not gonna listen to a guy named si-guy.”

“Shut. Up.”

You laughed. It was dumb and childish—not even that funny, frankly—but something about Simon frowning all seriously brought it out of you.

A moment later, the frown disappeared, and Simon handed the cigarette back with a little smile.

Bonus headcanons (post oneshot):

When you two were kids, you often took the role of the mature one to reign in any dumb ideas that Simon schemed, though you’d participate in them moments later.

The roles have reversed now: you are the dumbass and Ghost tries his best to keep it under control.

The moment you’re near Ghost, a little layer of your cold exterior melts a little and you allow yourself to drop your guard a little and be loose-lipped—though, in public or with the guys, you tone it down a little and still address him as Ghost.

In private though? The names are everything except for Ghost.

Si-guy, mon-mon the man, syphilis, Simon says, se-si-so-fum (fe-fi-fo-fum), etc.

Half the time the names just don’t even correlate with his and he quickly just got used to it.

No one really notices the change between the two of you except for Soap, who takes note of the small glances the two of you exchange like it’s a secret language that could only be communicated between you guys.

He even noticed the small brush of your hand against Ghost’s shoulder after a particularly difficult mission and he returned it moments later.

He has no idea if your friends, lovers, or just like?? Related maybe?? even if it would make ZERO sense for that to be the case.

In regards to König, Ghost would be protective.

He wouldn’t be shy to voice his thoughts against the relationship because he’s seen how monstrous König could be on the battlefield and worries that he’s just hiding that ‘true persona’ of his for whatever reason.

Also because he’s possessive; he’s convinced himself he’s just looking after you but he doesn’t like the idea of you straying away again but this time for some other guy.

He also doesn’t know if he likes you romantically or not: he likes you, but he has no idea if the strength comes from a romantic pull or if it’s just platonic. He just wants you close.

Also, both of you know each other’s tells; old habits die hard, and the tells you both had of discomfort from childhood still exist to this day.

Simon would go quiet and have a very specific stare that just kind of... glazes over. It’s dissociative.

You’d gently pry him out of that state with uncharacteristically soft words, making random observations or jokes.

Whenever you're in a similar state, he'd just sit beside you and kind of lean in—he might just straight up grab your hand and squeeze if no one is nearby.

Overall, to any outsider, you guys would just appear to be comrades with the same layers of cold and bile, but in reality, you guys have history.

Despite the time that had passed, you'd still call each other the best of friends.

You're satisfied with that, but Ghost is unsure if he wants something more.

Until then, he'll just shoot König glares until he figures out what he really wants.

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

#fr thank you anon this is SO GOOD.#i literally put everything down to write this #simon ghost riley x reader #mw2 x reader #mw2 ghost x reader #ghost x reader #modern warfare x reader #modern warfare 2 x reader

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thychesters · 2 years ago

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#wipwednesday! the pine trees fic/zoro pining was posted yesterday, but in editing it i cut out nearly uh, 10k of extra bits and pieces, so technically there are 3-4 missing scenes. this was one of them! ft. a conversation between usopp and zoro that got a little too long and disrupted the flow. the entire thing still needs some polishing, but i’d like to post them at some point?

the context is that in the scene just prior to this, luffy sat on zoro while he was doing push ups got a little too handsy just to mess with him. or at least, that’s what zoro’s going with. usopp’s not having it. || text under the cut:

“Are we gonna talk about it?” he asks, head bent. He has his bandana tied up higher to keep his hair out of his face. He also calls this the golden hour, says it’s great for drawing, but Zoro doesn’t really see how since it’s such a short window and it’ll be dark soon.

“No,” he says.

Usopp makes a soft ah sound but doesn’t push it beyond that.

It’s comforting then, because he genuinely does not want to talk about it, perfectly content with burying it away in a hollow in his chest until he draws his last breath. A bit melodramatic, yes, but his … longing for his captain will remain only that: something kept to himself. He will not cross that line.

“I don’t think it’s the worst thing ever,” he says, because woe for Zoro to think he wouldn’t actually bring it up. Luffy wasn’t exactly subtle and apparently Zoro didn’t school his expression as much as he thought he did. His projected annoyance clearly wasn’t strong enough, even though annoyance had been a big part of it. Usopp’s too aware and Chopper was too blissfully ignorant and entertained by their antics.

“Right,” he mutters, because it’s actually a terrible idea. He’s not as stupid as Nami and Sanji like to say he is.

Usopp smudges some charcoal with the side of his thumb. “When I first joined up I got the impression there were more to things than you guys let on. You didn’t say anything outright, and maybe it was just me putting too much stock into your dedication, so, y’know, I didn’t want to say anything. I’ve seen the way the looks at you though.”

“He doesn’t look at me like that,” Zoro says, voice sounding perfectly level, he thinks. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, but then he’d never wanted to talk about it in the first place.

Usopp finally turns to look at him, stares right into him in a way that makes him want to growl, bite back that maybe he should mind his own fucking business, that he knows he’s a liar but he should know when to cut the crap. He swallows and turns away.

“If you say so.”

This time Zoro does growl, or at least mutters something indelicate because he kind of wants to tell him to fuck off, but that’s a little too harsh.

“I was there, remember?” he says after another minute spent fidgeting with charcoal that oscillates between shading and smudging. His voice is quieter though, like he’s afraid Zoro’s going to overhear, as if he isn’t talking to him right now. “I heard the oath you made to him, Zoro. At this point I think you and I both know there’s a lot more weight to it now than there was before.”

#zolu #kate writes #**#i'm still sad this zoro/usopp/chopper scene got cut but it was also getting too long and didn't quite fit tonally #happened a couple times so technically the pine trees fic sprouted saplings LMAO #this takes place before water 7 too :(

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tweexcore-undrgrnd · 6 months ago

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if this ever gets weird: obscure review edition.

(slight spoilers)(probably more than slight)

if you thought there was any chance in hell I would not watch this as soon as I possibly could.. oh to be wrong. autism always wins.

Things i thought were great:

heart-wrenching cathartic piece of art that made me weep , all the clips of Cedric on stage where the lights shine on his hair , lots of silly little moments... all throughout their time they're just... whimsical , the 1 million shots of all the pedals and tech pieces (love) , very funny English accents , waow ftm backstory waow... , kissing the homies anyone??? oh and also long hair pre 2000s Cedric you have my HEARTTT

Things I thought were not great:

I heard some songs from despair come on and immediately all the life drained out of me in horror because I Knew shit was about to go down. been religiously listening to that cd but still It is like a clarion call from hell. (did anyone get that)

yeah I don't actually have any gripes with it I was too in love with the whole thing ..... glad I saw it now. it feels like this is the right time for me to be viewing this. evaluating what I want in my own life too.

I can't stop thinking about the unconventional uses of love and affection from Omar's commentary too, I really feel it when he says he loves Teri and Cedric. it means so much to me to finally see someone like him just admitting so openly that they feel so deeply and genuinely towards the people around them! using words that might confuse others with a too closed-minded view of what love, and soulmates can be. he's totally radical.

(was loving the taped glasses here)

It always takes me out when Cedric's been very honest in recent years and interviews just, plainly saying what he feels. he's got such an air of sincerity and wisdom about him that's amazing to see so much of in this documentary. The difference in how he and Omar talk about painful things is so interesting to me, their way of recounting and the words they both use is nothing short of a wonder to hear. For Cedric in particular, listening to him really tap into that emotional side and physically express it, crying and letting pain shake his voice a little at times, that's amazing. for someone who seemed to disconnect themselves and push people away in that aspect, being so open and honest now is an insane progression.

this scene... hi girl

At the end of the doc, when they're talking about coming back together and their bond and doing volta again, and it's cutting back to clips of them being young together GOD. THAT HIT ME LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN. being able to stitch that film together and look back on it, seeing some of the worst times as halcyon in your memory and actually making that mental journey something physical, that other people can experience is so magical. this whole thing is like being let into the deepest recesses of their mind, it's terrifying, I love it.

sharp turn now, um..... lots of technology... big fan.. I'm definitely going to be making a few gifs of the equipment.. I'll probably make a post with 1 million screenshots anyway bleh bleh bleh

#tmv #if this ever gets weird #yapping tag #<- but such a yap this time for real #cedmar autism plane has hit the week of free time towers

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magicalgirlmascot · 1 year ago

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Alright who wants to see my old Bionicle humanizations? These were from my modern/college!AU Metru Uni which I made when I was in college. These were all posted on dA circa 2011-12ish, and you have to understand these were drawn by hand, scanned into a computer, and edited using a laptop trackpad and MS Paint. Get ready for a lot of Shoujo Legs and Weird Character Choices. (All images will have their descriptions in the alt text.)

So first of all you have to understand that Vakama was my babygirl for many many years. This guy has the worst social anxiety you've ever seen. Not sure why I decided to take away his glasses when he transformed considering that's one of my least favourite things but whatever.

THIS MAN HAS NO ASS. I mean none of them do but Matau especially, goddamn. Anyway he wanted to dye his hair green so bad but his mom wouldn't let him. This guy is a huge flirt and we stan. Also I think the second image is flipped for some reason.

Okay yeah the second image is definitely flipped why did I do that. I was genuinely trying to make Nokama look cute and fashionable here but also I didn't know how to draw skirts very well so. Yeah. Vakama and Matau were both instantly smitten with her when she showed up and honestly the endgame ship there was Vakama/Nokama but for real it should've been the three of them. God she was so fucking patient

Now I gotta say I have absolutely no clue why the hell I gave Onewa a punk aesthetic (it's not even that punk, really, just what I would've considered punk as a very sheltered teen in 2011) but it kinda fucks actually. He was such a bitch but also he was so right about basically everything. King <3

WHENUA MY BELOVED. He was the oldest out of all of them and straight up had a university degree already but had for some reason decided to go to college after to get qualifications for a job that definitely would have paid less than the job he was originally going for with the university degree but I was dumb as hell and also he had to be at college that was the point of the fic. He and Vakama were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

Okay so the hairstyle. Um. I was obsessed with Wizard AnimalParade at the time. Also when he lifted the eyepatch on his transformed self he could zoom his vision in and out like a telescope. Also also he was obsessed with astronomy and thought astrology was stupid which. Is very funny writing KNPS now because that version of Nuju has exactly the same opinion

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Hey Rags how come the characters with brown and black as their theme colours are the only brown and black skinned characters" because I was fucking stupid that's why. Moving on.

One of the running gags I had in the manga version of this fic (YES there was a manga version, it only got about halfway through the second chapter) was that Lhikan always had bishounen sparkles every time he appeared. I wanted him to be a pretty boy so bad. I stand by this choice honestly Lhikan should be the prettiest boy. He should be more pretty than he is. VAKAMA SHOULD'VE HAD A BI LITTLE CRUSH ON HIM.

Honestly the only reason his eyes are white here is I forgot to colour them lmao. Dume worked in the college's security office and he was such an uptight old bitch. Look at his stupid little tie clip. This was also before I learned how to, like, make people look older, and so he just looks like a young man with a moustache lol. What learning to draw from Chris Hart books does to a mf

And to round off this part, please have one of the first pieces of digital art I ever did: a cover for the series! Back in the day fanfiction.net let you set a specific cover for a series so I drew this for that. I'm honestly really glad I found this again, I thought that it was lost to time and the only version I had access to was the extremely crunched version still up on ff.net. I drew this all by hand and did all the colouring and shading and stuff using Paint.net, which was a free program. The textures for the dirt and earth were made using MS Paint still though lol.

OKAY there are still about one million billion left to go but I'm calling it here for now so it doesn't get too long. I'll make another post with villains or something later.

Except also here have this no-context picture of Matau that was my deviantart profile picture for a long time.

#bionicle #human bionicle #look. LOOK.#at least half of this story is what became the blueprints for knps okay. i have changed very little.#it was formative for me though. how many big weird au fics have i done since then. metru uni was the first. the progenitor.#without metru uni we don't get west city public library or kini nui public school. so there you are.#but like for real though NO ONE HAS AN ASS. WHERE IS THE BOOTY. 19 YEAR OLD ME WAS A COWARD.

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exileseverafter · 1 year ago

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The Author of Exiles Rereads All Of Exiles Published So Far

That's right, I did it. In preparation for Book 4, I started rereading something I started writing...like...ten years ago or something. And you know what? It's pretty good! Turns out I like my stuff!

Behind the cut are a lot of rambling thoughts on each book, along with anything I might have done differently. Mild spoilers, but mostly just authorial navel-gazing.

Book One thoughts: Hey, did you know that if you're making any kind of longform work you should consider taking notes on things like character hair/eye color and background details? And also, it's good to have a beta reader? Because I don't know if I had either at the time of book one! And there are sooo many little continuity errors I noticed! They aren't things you're likely to catch unless you're looking for them, but it makes me think I want to go back at some point and not rewrite book one entirely, but just edit it a little. Fix some errors. It's still solid, and I'm pretty sure me being the author is the only reason it kind of felt like that "Spot the Errors" episode of Garfield and Friends. (Side note: If you can find it on the web, please watch the Garfield and Friends episode "Mistakes Will Happen." It's one of the funniest things ever, with far too many jokes to catch in one viewing for something that predates the internet.)

Also, it turns out that if you try to read something by downloading it in PDF form off of AO3 and putting it on your phone via Kindle, it does unholy things to the formatting. So I do not recommend reading Exiles (or anything else) like that.

Errors aside, god, this was nostalgic. One reason I started this reread was to get back into the heads of the characters, and it all started coming back to me right away. I can go oh, there's where I figured out how this would end. That's when this first comes up. Neat! Also there are some genuine accidental foreshadowing bits that lead into book three, of all things.

Book Two thoughts: Wow, this is long. It's easily the longest of the three, and I'm not sure how well the pacing holds up in retrospect. I was very much writing as a "weekly serial" rather than a novel at this point, and it shows for better or worse. There are chapters where I can tell I was just trying to get something up. Did you know if you write something with regular updates, it's a good idea to have a backlog instead of just writing week to week?

That said, this is where I started to shake off the constraints of "everything must be rooted in some preexisting fairy tale" and I think that's for the best. I started pulling inspiration from 50s pulp sci fi, Little Shop of Horrors, what people in the 90s thought VR was going to be like, and buddy cop flicks. I was figuring out my gender at the time I introduced Rem Tera, and wanted a nonbinary character whose issues were not centered around what were Nonbinary Character Tropes at the time, i.e. 'figuring out nonbinary was a thing, explaining it to others, which bathroom to use, etc.'

I also like playing with scale in unusual ways, and one thing I wanted to lean into was how to create a threatening antagonist who was a few inches tall in a world where people came in giant size. It turns out the answer is 'give him some big monsters to command and scary levels of manipulative charisma.' Lord Germain, you are the worst but I am so proud of you.

Note: I think there may be a chapter missing from the original Jukepop posting. I'll try to go through and fix it soon.

Still also very happy with the final arc, even if the story does a bit of narrative water treading to get there. This book has the most 'quiet time' with the characters, and I think in the long run it helped me flesh out the relationships established in book one and the new ones forming in book two. Especially since book three is pretty story-heavy. Speaking of! Book Three thoughts: Wow, this is like post-timeskip One Piece where one thing just leads right into another. It's unsurprising, since a lot of the plot threads laid in books one and two really activate here. Libra and Valerian have a been a presence from the beginning and Blue was hinted at as far as the Moonflower Market. So yes, I was sitting on those for a while and happy to set them off here.

No Reflection is probably the most difficult original fic work I've written so far. To give you an example, I started it too soon after finishing Of Rot and Bloom and was stalled out for years afterwards. The good news is that like any creative project that isn't made of expiring materials, you can pick a story up at any time. One day I finally decided to ditch the chapter I was stuck on, write something else and start the ball rolling again.

And it worked! I finished it. More or less. There's something of a Nona the Ninth/Alecto the Ninth "book 3 and 4 are part of a piece" feeling to the end of Book Three, but I do try to end on at least a climactic element. There are just a lot more cliffhangers this time around.

Man, I'm mean to Basil in this book and this isn't even his book! Poor guy is gonna have it rough in Book Four.

ALSO, there are at least two missing chapters, and they're important ones that reveal major plot elements. In fact, one is right in the climax. I need to fix that ASAP. Presumably AO3 lets you insert chapters? I'll figure out how.

So, what does this mean for Book Four? It means it's definitely happening, though I don't want to say it's happening immediately. Maybe after the New Year. I have some chapters prewritten for Book Four I want to revise, and this time I'm making sure I have a healthy backlog and a plot outline worked out.

For everyone who's read any part of Exiles, thanks so much for supporting me thus far! I really appreciate it. Wouldn't be able to keep up this much enthusiasm without you. And if you're thinking of writing (or drawing, or animating) your own original thing, my advice is just to do it! Just jump in. Yeah, it won't be perfect, but you'll learn by doing, and an imperfect story that exists is always better than the idealized one trapped in your head.

#The Exiles Ever After #cornet stuff #writing stuff

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risingphoenix761 · 1 year ago

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For the writer ask game: 💀

💀 Do you have a fic/story you regret writing?

I learned something from every story that didn't work, so in that sense, I regret nothing. However, there are a few that I knew while posting that I half-assed, and there was one particular fic a couple years ago that would have been fine...had I paid more attention to the rules of the event I was taking part in. To get it back within guidelines, I had to do a last minute rewrite of my POV character and I really really don't like how it turned out as a result. I've considered editing it back to the way it was, but I haven't made up my mind either way.

I also have some regrets about a dark fic I finished about ten years ago. It was the best thing I had ever written at that point and I'm still impressed with myself about it, but I was working through A LOT in it and the process itself ended up kicking off one of the worst depressive episodes I've had to this day. So some days, I have this piece of writing that I'm really proud of and that people enjoyed when I genuinely expected to get a lot of flack for it (like I said, it was DARK). Others, I have documentation of one of the worst periods of my life and I keep cycling back to the story when I'm at a low point for the sole purpose of wallowing, which of course makes it worse.

Send me an emoji!

#thanks for asking!#send me asks

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kindahoping4forever · 2 years ago

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💫 🤍💘 pls crystal 🥰

Anything for you, Jess. 😌💙

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

I really appreciate hearing from readers who chose to read something despite it not being their usual cup of tea - whether it be the particular band member, something in the tags, the genre or even that they don't read much fic at all - but for whatever reason, they decided to give me and my story a chance. It's a nice feeling to know that they saw something there that made them want to make an exception and that they ended up being happy they did. That kind of faith and intent is a special kind of reader/author vibe.

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

Two fics came to mind but I can't really pretend that I don't understand the response they got because in one way or another, I feel like I didn't totally "get" what I was going for either. Both have a slight angst element to them and while I was intentionally trying to challenge myself to write something different, I should have realized that my audience (at least at the time) really just wanted to have a dirty, banter-y good time and so it made sense these stories didn't hit like the others did.

The fic that immediately came to mind is I'd Rather Be In Love, the one and only non-smut fic I've ever written (and most likely, will ever write). It was written in the 5+1 format and while I'm actually fairly proud of the way I structured the narrative, it's ultimately a story that didn't need to be written (I was in a rut and 5+1s were going around so I tried it out just to try it) and at least to me, it doesn't really feel like one of my stories without the smut. So with the confines of the format limiting my ability to give my characters as much depth and personality as I typically do, a wildly different tone (I literally have it tagged as fluff on AO3) and a blink and you miss it sex scene, I think my audience simply didn't know what to make of it and to date, it remains my least engaged story on both Tumblr and AO3.

The other story I thought of is Threw Out Our Cloaks & Daggers Because It's Morning Now (also probably my worst title lmao). For some reason, I thought my super fun and sexy Gardener!Ash series needed some dramatic weight and this was meant to be the first in a multi-part emotional arc (spoiler: that was for some reason going to culminate in Ash getting pegged) but I struggled so much with writing it and the reception was so underwhelming, I shelved the entire series. It was an unremarkable idea executed poorly (the structure is a mess, the tone is all over the place and you can absolutely tell I cobbled the final draft together from a pile of scraps because I just needed it to be done) and again, it was an unfortunate case of me just not understanding what my audience liked about my writing and specifically, that series. Who wants to see Gardener!Ash sad?! It made sense it bombed and I've genuinely considered retroactively calling it a standalone piece instead so it can be retconned out of the Gardener!Ash universe.

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

In the years since I wrote Release, I've quietly gone back in and made some changes but I think overall I'd like it a lot more if I gave it a more thorough overhaul. It was my first fic and I'm still proud of the concept but I just know that 2023 Crystal could handle certain ideas and scenes with a lot more grace and style.

Stylistically, in a lot of ways it feels like I was kind of mimicking Cass and a few other authors I looked up to at the time so a lot of my own sensibilities were still forming and thus don't really feel present. But the biggest issue for me is the centerpiece of the fic contains this extended rough dom sex scene and while I don't think it's a misstep (I still like what it means for the characters and the overall narrative), I can totally admit that I was out of my depth attempting such an emotionally complex scene like that with so little writing experience. If I were to write it now, I would definitely check in with the characters and their thoughts more to make sure that the point of the scene, what it meant to them and their relationship was spelled out a bit more responsibly. Thankfully, the majority of readers understood it anyways but still, I wish it was a little more obvious a lot quicker because as it stands now, it's kind of a crazy tonal shift.

I'd also probably tone it down a little bit. Hard dom fic was A Big Thing at the time and so I didn't think twice about including some fairly harsh physicality and degradation elements that I don't entirely vibe with now and are a pretty stark contrast to the type of fic I'd go on to write lol. Again, I don't regret the scene, I just think if I wrote it now, I'd be able to provide it with the nuance it required and deserved. (Cass and I have also discussed revising the poly!Lashton series we collaborated on for these same reasons.)

Let's chat! Writer Asks

#i didn't mean for that 2nd answer to drag those fics as much as I did lmao #i've generally been very lucky with the reception for my work thus far #but those two were definite bombs and ykw they lowkey deserved to be so i had to be honest 🤷🏻‍♀️#and that last q was such a catharsis to get that off my chest lmao #i think about revising that fic so often #like i want to be true to where I started #but at this point I have very little desire to reread that fic as it stands now because it just feels so foreign #but i love the story so I do think it deserves a better treatment #it's interesting bc i don't love a lot of my early work now tbh #but that was The First One so in a lot of ways its the cringiest but i think it's also one of the richest of that era #so it makes me want to try and save it #ask #daydadahlias #kh4f writing #real writer asks

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the-teddy-bear-butch · 2 years ago

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One of these days I’ll be done answering asks. Anyway, @lavenderlevetan 1/3 of “twos not divisible by 3” ✨

2: talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

run away my beloathed. Changed plans in that fic so many times. The current defeat Vecna plan, without spoiling anything, was not my og plan when I started the fic

4: what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Technically run away but I am actually writing that, so I’ll lean into the low key abandoned but soon to be resurrected monster hunter Nancy au. I had read a few other monster hunter Nancy/werewolf Robin fics and was worried I couldn’t measure up. I think I also tried to do too much in one fic in my original plan, so I dropped it. It will undergo massive changes for sure. I think simpler is better for me in most cases

8: what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

I have a love/hate relationship with it. It HAS to be asked for. Genuinely is so helpful when I have someone beta who can point out weird wording and stuff, or give advice about different aspects. However, unwarranted comments on my fics that criticize the plot or whatever, those bother me more than they should. I think I overreact but it feels rude and tends to make me want to drop the fic for a bit and get self conscious about it. I will seek it out!! But I only want it if I ask for it lmao

10: at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

I honestly tend to do titles pretty early, and often will base vibes somewhat on the title! They’re easy for me because I love to use music lyrics. I’ll take some time to find the perfect song (and because of the range in my music taste, I’ve got something for everything), and then boom a quick look through lyrics and we’re titled

14: what’s your worst writing habit?

Skipping around. I get bored and move on to the next scene. It becomes a lot harder to make everything flow in a way that makes sense when you have to stitch together pieces like Frankenstein

16: where is your favorite place to write?

My warm and cozy bed <333

20: what is your favorite trope to write?

Slow dancing, if that wasn’t obvious!! Also There Was Only One Bed 😏

22: describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

This has actually changed since I first started. If it’s an au, start with figuring out what roles each character is going to fill. Next (or starting here if not) I get a basic idea of the plot. I tend to kind of just fly by the seat of my pants after that, with a few notes on scenes I’d like to have. I do have two fics with actual outlines (cyberpunk and there in the garden!). Then I toss it all in a Google doc, edit round one, beta, edit round two, and post

26: do you like to write one-shots or series, and why?

Series! I like a good slow burn. Also it’s what I tend to like to read. I like the way you have more chance to explore long term development of characters and relationships, and there’s often a richer, deeper plot, which I LOVE

28: handwritten notes or typed notes?

Typed. Carpal tunnel my beloathed. Also I hate pencils and can’t erase pen

32: do characters influence your writing style?

I think so! Maybe it’s just in my head, but I feel like my writing tends to be looser and more rambly with Robin, and more correct and introspective with Nancy. Again, that might just be how it feels in my head tho

34: how do you name characters and places?

Inspiration from real life and Fantasy Name Generators. I 100% will use names from towns I’ve seen, and I keep a running list in my phone of cool names I’ve heard and could use

#fanfic asks #I really don’t even expect you to read all of these #I just think it’s fun to answer them #lavenderlevetan #lo answers stuff

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ivan-fyodorovich-k · 1 year ago

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Well, I can't remember exactly but I think I paid between $20 and $30 for my Franklin Library copy of the Decameron, and I think my Easton Press War and Peace was between $30 and $40. Both of them have some scuffing along the gilt page edges but structurally are perfectly fine.

In my experience, and you may take all this for what it's worth, a lot of those newer (as in since the 1970s) leatherbound prints of classics can actually be had for shockingly cheap. Easton Press has been selling a mail-order "100 Greatest Books Ever Written" series for about fifty years and if you go on eBay right now and type in "Easton Press" and sort price + shipping from low to high, you're going to find an astonishing selection of classic books like Moby Dick, Crime and Punishment, and the Decameron for around $30, sometimes less. In my experience usually the worst disaster to befall them is that some of the gilding has worn off.

Some of them cost more. I have yet to find good Easton Press copies of the Three Musketeers or the Count of Monte Cristo for less than about $50, and I can't find Dracula or Frankenstein for less than about $70. In my experience you don't start running into painful prices unless the book is a meme (Dracula) or until it's some kind of really lavish special edition with fancy illustrations, and/or a limited reprinting of a very famous edition, and/or some kind of niche thing where a relatively small number of lunatics are all competing for an even smaller number of copies. Or if you buy new. New ones are expensive.

If we were so inclined, we could go through that shelf of leather books I posted volume by volume and you (and anyone reading this) would be shocked at how many of those cost in the neighborhood of $30.

What follows is mostly conjecture and anecdotal from the last ten years of collecting books like this, shamelessly pillaging both used book stores and the internet. I say all this as someone who has pursued this interest in almost total isolation and so I do not have a sense of a community or its mores.

Leatherbound books made since the 1970s do not invariably appreciate in value, or even hold their value. I'm not exactly sure what is the market explanation for this but as far as I can piece together the market is fairly flooded with some leatherbound editions of classic books, particularly the Easton Press "100 Greatest Books" series. But they're still sort of a niche item. Because there are more of them than there are people to buy them, used ones are often cheap. Shockingly cheap. Too cheap for what they are. Your instinctive skepticism of this I think is perfectly rational and well founded but in this instance it is, in defiance of common sense, untrue. It should not be true that you can go to Barnes & Noble and find a copy of the Odyssey and other classics printed in China with garishly bright fake leather covers that are going to age as well as fake leather ages for $35, and then go on eBay or into a used book store and find an Easton Press copy of the Odyssey that was printed in the United States and bound in genuine leather on good paper whose edges and covers are gilt with actual gold for $30, but it is true. It's a little like furniture. Nobody can make good new furniture anymore, but used furniture, which is made better, is cheaper than new furniture. The sticker price is less than the intrinsic worth of the item.

I think some of the explanation has to do with the kinds of people who buy Easton Press and Franklin Library books and the reasons they tend to want them. A lot of people are trying to find leather books that are in perfect condition that have never been opened that they can put on a shelf and themselves never open. These people will pay premiums for books that have never been opened (you may notice as you search that a lot of books are still in their shrinkwrapping).

Because that is what people want, as soon as a book is scuffed or damaged in the slightest way, it is no longer perfect and loses the collector premium. But usually physically it's still a perfectly good book that just has a couple scratches in its gilding or there are kinks or fraying in the bookmark or it has a bookplate with someone's name written on it. To a normal person who just likes leather books and wants them, they're fine.

I would bet that virtually every used copy of a leatherbound Easton Press or Franklin Library book you see on eBay no matter how cheap has rarely if ever been read, let alone opened. Because they are almost universally bought by people who are weird about books only to be put on a shelf, they have almost invariably been well taken care of.

If a book is like, water damaged, or truly falling apart the seller should make that clear. But in my experience you can usually tell from the photos the shape that a book is in, and it's usually fine. Of all my Easton Press books, the worst problems I've ever had are on two volumes that I actually I bought in person for like $13 on which gilding rubbed off a bit, and then I have a Franklin Classics book (also bought in person) that had like... a paint stain on it? It looked like someone dropped a drop of white-out on it. I scraped it off, whatever.

Point is, if you just want to have good, well-made leather books because you find them inherently desirable, there are a surprising number out there for surprisingly cheap.

I also increasingly suspect some of it has to do with the niche that places like Easton Press fall into. Most people don't care about fancy books, and a lot of people who do care about fancy books I suspect are more interested in old fancy books and don't care for Easton Press and co. as a lot of what Easton Press and co. do is reprint old editions, and if you are already obsessed with fancy books and already spending lots of money on them and already know you are never going to open them, I suspect people veer toward just going after the older books. Again, this is me speculating from the outside.

Personally, I feel more reluctant to go out on a limb when I am looking at actual antiquarian books from like the 1930s and earlier, because it's hard to tell from photos how faded a spine is from sun exposure and how tight the boards actually are. Antiquarian books are a more byzantine market and the books themselves are far older, so they have had a much longer time in which to have been subject to disaster and it's much harder to explain the shape a book is in.

Can I ask who some of the publishers of your leather bound books are? I recognized a number of Easton Press from your shelf but rn I'm hunting a nice copy of a book and I'm not really keen on the EP and want to see who else might make a copy worth having.

What book are you looking for? Franklin Library used to be a thing, I have a couple of theirs… I think there’s one or two others that escape me in the moment

#books #we're really just engaging my insanity today

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smolbeandrabbles · 6 years ago

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Out of Nowhere Girl Pt.2 - Director Keller / Talos (Captain Marvel)

Part 1

Author’s Note: Did anyone else temporarily forget what this was supposed to be? Because I did. Short. Was the answer. What has developed in my head is a LOT longer. So, I hope you enjoy the ride with Mr.Keller this time around... Pretty much had a brain explosion over the last week due to those deleted scenes and then everyone throwing GIFs around. So here we are! This is also the first time I really get to introduce you to my Keller. As he’s almost entirely a blank slate... I hope you like him! We are following 3 Time Stamps: 1993-1995, allowing us to focus on Keller/Maliyah’s relationship. 1995, in the aftermath of the events of Captain Marvel Present/10 Years Later (c.2005, I suppose), To follow the real story line.

I hope this doesn’t get confusing as hell... Disclaimer: MCU Characters not mine. I stick by Jonathan Richard Keller. No “Canon” is changing that. I’m certainly NOT sorry.

#ComicCanon Premise: Keller had always wondered what was out in space. Naturally he never expected the answer to be ‘the girl of his dreams’; and now he has to let her go...? Talos and Maliyah figure out where they need to get - and it ain’t all good... Words: 3877 Warnings: Zip!

____________

There were no stars in sight Then the planets all aligned When I saw her eyes One look that's all it took To send me to another galaxy She said, she was on her way to Mars Then she ran into a star and she fell into my arms Thank you gravity, never let her go I'll hide her U.F.O., she'll never have to know She's my space girl and she's outta this world ...She looked kinda bored Said she'd seen it all before Made me wonder even more Which universe was hers? What galaxy did she call home? Like a meteor I'm fallin’ From the first time I saw her It was heaven on earth

--- Circa 1993 Getting called to any incident was likely a bad thing. Except this one. This one, Keller couldn't refuse. The course, rough, ugly streaks through the salt left harsh black scars where the ship had hit before coming to a complete stop. Keller tried to stop himself from getting too giddy. He'd long been a geek when it came to space - if you got him started on science and astronomy, he was off like a proverbial rocket. (To be honest, any flying craft was likely to get him talking like that; as the model planes in his offices and his apartment would prove… But space was his real muse.) And this didn't look like it had come from Earth. Which is of course, why Keller and his S.H.I.E.L.D agents had been called in. He had to be professional about this situation though. He had a team of good, good people. And he couldn't risk their lives. He was the leader and he had a responsibility. Even if he was slightly freaking out about the prospect of meeting an alien life form. "Sir, have you ever seen anything like this?" Keller shook his head. Not as an agent, nor director had he ever been called to a UFO sighting or similar. He'd dreamed it, plenty of times. But he'd never actually been. "No..." he was quiet, but his voice no less authoritative. When he spoke, they listened. No questions. "Team, proceed with caution. We don't know what we're dealing with..." The structure of the ship was weird in itself. The blue and yellow painted metal twisted, but not completely broken. It was shaped a little bit like an 8 point star - or would have been - there was definitely nothing like that on Earth. Keller’s heart jumped in his chest and he had to check himself a few times. "Life signs?" "Negative, sir." He wasn’t disappointed, that didn't mean there weren't any. "Keep on your toes. All your wits about you, we are a little out of our depth here..." and Keller couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched either. As his crew searched amongst the wreckage Keller surveyed the scene again. He'd have to call it in. Of course, he would. But what do you even write on a report like this? No doubt the board - the creators of S.H.I.E.L.D themselves - would want this as down low and classified as possible. And these marks all over Utah’s salt flats would need to be explained away somehow. Now he had to think on a cover story AND get this ship out of here without Joe public finding out a thing. He'd done similar before. He wasn't worried. That was when he spotted her. Standing a little way away but not trying to look inconspicuous. Keller visibly startled and his heart leapt again. He looked back to his preoccupied team and then touched his right side. His pistol was there. Keller was a quick draw... He proceeded. She didn't, almost like she was waiting for him to come to her. But she eyed the team around the ship with some interest. Keller all at once realised he didn't know what he was going to say. This was his first ever in counter with an alien lifeform and he couldn't screw it up! But what to say!? She was silent herself and looked relaxed about the situation. Dressed in black flight pants and a black-and-tan vest top that cut just above her stomach, what looked like a weapon on her right hip, where her hands sat relaxed (should he ask her to remove her weapon? Was that a dumb thing to ask?), her clothing was a little ripped and charred but, she looked miraculously intact. The star shaped necklace that hung from her neck on a fine chain was eerily reminiscent of the ship now buried in the dried-up lake behind them. Her shoulder length hair ran pink and purple and she almost looked human. But he was transfixed by her eyes. Deep blue, purple. No they were certainly purple. And they looked like they held stars - cosmic. Keller felt lightheaded. Have mercy-! He took a deep breath; "Is the ship yours?" Dumb-! Dumb, Keller-! That's your first sentence!?! Really!?! You've dreamed of this moment since you were about 3 and that's the first thing you say!?! She gave a smile, then a slight laugh. "Yeah." then with a raised eyebrow; "What are you doing to it?" English. She spoke English. And her voice... Good lord. Keller found he had to check himself AGAIN. "Guess I'm on Earth." She kept talking "You’re human. Obviously." He had a nice accent. It was different to Peter’s, for sure, the twang, but... American. Had she landed in America? Maliyah Saal couldn’t keep the smile from her face; it was nice to be around a human again even if accidentally. She could feel his emotion so clearly; the internal fighting with himself was like reading a book. A very interesting book, mind you. How he seemed to switch between excitement and fear. Constantly. How she could feel him fighting to choose every word he said. She was positive that she was the first extra terrestrial race he’d ever encountered. "We were sent to investigate the crash. Yeah, you're... On Earth... Utah." She didn't need to know that. Why was he saying this!? Was he nervous? Was he babbling because he was nervous!?! "Where are you from...?" She tipped her head, trying to decide if she trusted him or not. But Maliyah decided she did; "I came from Xandar. But... I'm from Aauraa. That's my race. Auron.” That's two places that had life out there. Now he was certain there were many more. He held out his hand, she didn't seem dangerous. Hell. She seemed like everything he'd ever wanted. Think of what she could tell him. "I'm Jonathan Keller. I'm the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D." he had a warm smile and she liked that "I guess I'm between LA and Atlanta..." He didn't know why he was telling her about two places she didn't know. But he'd been raised right, and he politely matched the information she was giving him. Jonathan, she almost had to laugh again. Jonathan Keller and Peter Quill... Two human males that clearly couldn't be further apart. For one, the male in front of her was a lot older; a man and not a boy. He was wearing a suit that edged professional, but she was willing to bet, from the fact he was here, it was not a kind of... Corporate role. The team was significant. And she had observed enough to know that he was both the leader and had their respect and trust. That was important. His hair was once dark but had faded to grey overtime. Still, the black that showed up in places let her know Keller was not nearly as old as it made him look. And his eyes. She'd not seen a blue quite that spectacular in all her years of travel. And she'd been more than her fair share of places. He watched as she backed up slightly, eyes wide and turned to his team. All at once they had noticed what was going on, stood in a neat row that flanked him. They all had their guns drawn, but all were pointed to the ground. Good. He didn’t want to screw this one up. They were a good team. They probably knew he wasn’t in trouble, but they were ready to spring into action if she tried anything. He motioned for them to lower their weapons; “It’s Okay…” Keller’s voice was suddenly vastly different from how he was speaking to her. And she noticed it instantly. How calm he was. “…She’s Okay… It’s alright…” This was a man who had been in charge a long time. Who had seen a lot. And knew exactly how to handle a situation. These other humans were not loyal to him because of his title. They were loyal to him because he had earned it. Jonathan Keller had proven he was worthy of it. And that made Maliyah smile even more, she knew that ship would be out of action for a while until she fixed it. And if she had to find and trust someone on this planet… there wouldn’t have been a better man to encounter than him. Keller turned back to her as his agents did as he asked. Her eyes were trained on his face, and her lips were slightly parted. He wanted to call it awe. But that was impossible. Why would something so beautiful be in awe of him? When she had come from way out there in the stars? He inhaled, and then exhaled – and this time it worked. And they both felt the way his nerves calmed – though he didn’t know it. He extended his hand to her; a customary professional Earth greeting when meeting for the first time; “Is this.. your first time on earth?" Maliyah reached out and took his hand and he felt himself go lightheaded again. Gosh-! Now he was touching her..?!! He wondered if she knew how excited he was. That this was possibly better than every alien encounter dream he'd ever had. He hoped his professionalism was intact. "Maliyah, Saal. Treasure hunter... Member of the Nova Corp." Director sounded important. She wanted to match that herself "And yes." He had to smile then, properly. Maliyah Saal sounded like she came from the stars. "Well..." Keller glanced around him and then met those eyes again; "Welcome to Earth."

She inclined her head in thanks. But Keller needed to think quick. It wasn’t just a girl he was dealing with. But that ship too. Maliyah let his hand go, because it was clear he wasn’t going to do the same. She was glad that her skin would only ignite if they were together. Not that she would dwell on that, she knew she wasn’t supposed to be here and that Earth was about the one place in the galaxy that didn’t know about the races that lived in the rest. She would not stay long enough to form any kind of friendship with him, simply an arrangement of coincidence. Still – when his skin touched hers, she couldn’t help but feel all his emotion. She wanted desperately to calm him down – to tell him not to be as terrified as he was. Because there was no denying under his exterior he WAS. But she couldn’t reveal exactly what she was just yet – which meant she couldn’t exert influence on him either. At least not here. “…Maliyah, I’m afraid we will have to move your ship. As you may well imagine we are not used to coming into contact with…” He hesitated, aliens? Could he say that to her? Was that offensive..? “…Other races.” “I understand.” Although she couldn’t see his teeth she could tell they were sinking into his bottom lip – solemn “…I also need to ask you to come with me.” He didn’t want to say it. Keller didn’t want to sound like he would have to take her by force – but knew he would if necessary. She understood that too; but was curious enough; “Where?” “There is a facility not too far from here.” The lip bite turned into a smile, it was a warm smile. He was smiling at her because he wanted to, not because he had to. It had nothing to do with reassurance, “I promise you, you will be safe there.” ** 1995

The drive to Utah was long, slow and quiet. In fact, Keller thought that if he didn't turn the radio up he would go insane. It had taken another couple of months for him to convince her to even get in his car to go and he knew that she would not want to fix her ship in a hurry. He'd taken the liberty of getting a close-knit band of engineer's together to give himself a head start. She'd probably get mad about that. But he knew what he was doing was for the best. Maliyah would come ‘round to that. She'd got in the car, hadn't she?

He looked across to her, the road was empty and seemed to stretch endlessly. Mile markers aside he felt he was a million lightyears from Utah.

Today she was wearing biker boots and slim fit jeans, shirt over figure hugging vest top she actually looked human. But, far from happy. Arms crossed, looking out the window, feet up on his dash, legs crossed. Even though he'd told her multiple times to take them down. She was pouty too, which was unfortunate because it just made her look cute. The only thing about her that was inhuman was the vibrant colours (because she'd damn well let her emotions show at this point!!) that streaked across her arms. This time they reminded him of the warning lights of deep-sea creatures. She was just mad... And dealing with a lot she didn't understand: or pretended she didn't understand. Jonathan knew he could never fathom which. For all she had opened up to him, he knew there were still many secrets she held back.

“Maliyah…” She shifted in her seat but said nothing “Maliyah look at me…” She heard it in his voice – he was hurting because she was intent on ignoring him, he was hurting because he felt he had to let her go, he was hurting because she was hurting him. “Supernova... Please...” She would have looked to him anyway, but that nickname... he’d use that nickname. So she turned. “Jonathan, I… Don’t want to talk about it.” “…But you know we have to get you off planet… Right? I couldn’t bare to think about whatever these Skrulls might have got out of my head. And now that more people know about what’s really out there, your file will not stay lock-and-key classified for long I can assure you…” Keller put his eyes back on the road, because they smarted when they were locked on hers. Pushing the rolled-up sleeves of his light-blue-purple checked shirt up even further. He noticed her eyes follow the motions and land on his wrist watch with its too many dials. She remembered the inscription on the back and the NASA symbol. NASA – yet another organisation that should know about her and didn’t. Yet another ode to his great love for the stars. Keller knew already how many times he would have to testify on her presence on Earth. Luckily, as his first report had been straight to the board of S.H.I.E.L.D he wouldn’t lose his job for keeping Maliyah to himself – but he might be heavily reprimanded once all the advisory boards and committees started popping up. She finally answered him, also looking ahead, “I do… But I am worried about leaving you.” “I can take care of myself.” “I know you can. But you don’t think I will be worried every time I feel pain?” He tipped his head with a hmm to dodge the question. But realised he couldn’t swerve it like it was a pot-hole in this endless stretch of highway; “…If I make my desk job a desk job, would that make you happier?” “…You tried that already.” “What if I really did it this time?” She shook her head. “That wouldn’t make YOU happy. And I care about that more.” He removed his right hand from a wheel and held it out for her to take. She did, between both of hers. At once her skin ignited; but the colours were soft. She pressed her lips into his palm and he felt that rush of joy, not too much – it was kept toned down. She was doing it again – picking him up. He encased one of her hands in his. It said all he needed too. Though sometimes when she did this Keller couldn’t help but wonder exactly what else Maliyah could influence on a person. She used it for good things… But he had always been fairly positive that if she wanted to see the world in despair, she could do that without a second thought. She was incredible. She would be incredible without being with him; the fact that she was still sometimes made him feel like he was dreaming. …Could he really let her go? For her own good. To protect her. I would do anything…

The reason he had even mentioned keeping himself at his desk was if he got hit too hard (it had to be pretty hard. If she didn’t know anything about his escapade with the shapeshifters), if he bled at all; be it a papercut or a medical check-up pinprick, she would feel that too. Some things Keller just wouldn’t be able to protect her from. He wasn’t always willing to accept this. But she had bonded with him and it had been her choice. Her acknowledgement of the consequences of their union showed nothing but how much she loved him. And God, if he didn’t love her just as much. ** He took his foot off the gas and the car ticked up another mile as a crop of buildings began to creep up on the horizon line. It was all too much too soon. And even her happy influence couldn’t stop him from biting his lip so hard. It was all he could do to stem any tears he could feel coming. No matter how long it took Maliyah to get her ship into order, she wouldn’t leave this facility now until she was ready to break Earth’s atmosphere. His hand shook as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose – don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry… God. Jonathan Richard Keller be STRONG for her. He couldn’t. And he let out a sob; he was shocked that he had, and instantly covered his mouth. She was looking at him now with wide eyes, her lips parted for words she couldn’t say. She knew. Maliyah could feel his sorrow bubbling up inside him but it still shocked her when it broke the surface. Her eyes flicked to the buildings, enlarging by the second, and back to him. They were still a few miles away. But to Keller, it would never be far enough. And he’d insisted on this. He squinted slightly – he could hold those tears back all he wanted; she knew emotionally they were already flowing down his face “I’m sorry…” It was muffled by his hand. “I’m so sorry.” 15 minutes and no tears later he rolled the car to the security gates. He hesitated as his hand hovered over his pass. He had until the guard strolled over to change his mind. To take her back home, because she belonged here with him and he knew that. But how long would that last? How big of a risk was it to keep her here? It wouldn’t just be her home that were looking for her in reality, or the Skrulls if that was even something they would do, but the home she had left. Her older brother, her adoptive parents. Keller knew all about them, and if he was any of those three, he’d want her back. He’d be worried about her. Even that didn’t stop him from wanting to turn back. Maliyah placed her hand gently over his, she may not know his exact thoughts, but she knew how to read his face. She swallowed; it was time for her to be the strong one. “We can do this.” He glanced across to her as she pushed his hand down to enclose around his S.H.I.E.L.D ID card. She was smiling. And this was one of reassurance. “Together. We can do this.” ***

Present

“How exactly do you propose we find them?” Talos looked around, it was built small for a Ravager vessel; he knew that by the fire like emblem emblazoned on the wing of the ship. Inside it was decked out for no more than one or two people; But the tech, all of it new and polished, Talos guessed must have been Xandarian. “…This isn’t just any Milano.” Maliyah indicated to what he had already noticed, “The amount of tinkering I’ve done to this thing over the years… Doesn’t even bare thinking about. The computer system can do just about anything. There’s tech from my home world, tech I’ve lifted with the help of, or from, Ravagers. Earth – obviously! - things I’ve transferred from the Nova Corps vessels, my own crews’ Vessels - They’re pretty much grounded until further notice - But, It’s a Xandarian system. I’m connected to all databases I can get my hands on, most of them I have actual access to – a bit of hacking never hurt anyone…” She sat on the arm of her pilots’ seat and tapped a few things into her computer “…Essentially, every race has a different kind of ship and different fuel elements for each ship. These are good indicators of the who and where, the ship gives out a lot of different signatures of its own, but the fuel particles. That’s what we’re gonna go follow. I don’t always trust ship radars bouncing off of things in space… Very sketchy at times.” “How do you know how to do half these things?” The computer set to work, so she slid into the seat and indicated to a chair; “Buckle up-!” Igniting the fuel of her own ship, the Milano hummed into life. “That human you simed.” She turned to him with a grin “He’s a lot damn smarter than me. I have the tech, I can engineer the tech. He is every single piece of code and every mathematical algorithm behind that tech.”

The Milano’s ship computer beeped enthusiastically as it located the trail left by the Kree ship – running its own diagnostic it came up with a probable location. Making Maliyah grimace; “UGH!” “What?” Talos tilted his head and squinted at the flashing coordinates and corresponding planet name - he didn’t recognize either. “We don’t want to go THERE. Geez, that’s like, half way over the other-other side of the Kree’s sector of the Galaxy…” “…Meaning what?” He turned to her, but Maliyah had that determined look on her face he almost couldn’t help but smile at. “Don’t you worry about it. I’ll get you there. It’s once we’re there… I’ll just need some crew back up.” “…Thought you just said your crew was grounded.” She shrugged “Pfft! They were a bunch of trigger-happy treasure hunters before I got them organised into an efficient crew. They’ll just be doing that again-! I’m not dumb enough to think they’d actually listen to a WORD I said.” She pulled another smile and lightly punched the top of his arm; “You’re gonna be glad for that when we get over there.” “Trigger happy sounds just what we need.” It was clear sarcasm. Maliyah grinned, she liked him already. This was going to work out; hell it had to work out. “That planet is deceptively tricky. They’re not going to like me very much, they’re CERTAINLY not gonna like you.”

---

I’m not partial to believing Keller fell in love with her at first sight. But it IS possible that he has a crush on a girl that comes from Space.

GIF Credit: @winterswake @dennismitchell - Omgosh, I have a brain like a sive! But I remembered to tag you this time, sweetie! 😘😘 @morganadarkladyofall

#Keller x OC #Director Keller #Keller #Talos #Captain Marvel #Shes my supernova #She's HIS supernova!!!#Same damn nickname but of course it is #Keller is SO super important to me...#He's just...#I love him. and i LOVE him with her #She deserves him. But I don't think she think SHE deserves him #genuinely the worst piece of posting editing ever #I can’t even look!#45 #Maliyah #so embarrassed I can’t even tag Ben...

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darling-i-read-it · 4 years ago

Text

Lipstick

Karl Heisenberg x reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: borderline nsfw like I thought real hard about it, weapons, talks of murder, slight spoilers for resident evil 8

Author’s Note: just impulsively wrote this and am posting it promptly after writing so it has not been edited. Besties im down bad about this sarcastic basterd (also if anyone wants a nsfw part 2...i am willing to provide) (or any other requests for him and Alcina, my favorite bi panic people rn)

Summary: You run into Ethan in Castle Dimitrescu on your way back to the factory.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

(not my gif)

Ethan Winters genuinely just wanted his daughter back. He was so sick and tired of going through this village in an attempt to save her, running into every possible inconvenience he could find and knowing that he would probably lose fingers fighting them.

Castle Dimitrescu was vast and regal. He might have liked it if he wasn’t running for his and his daughters' lives from the four vampires that lived there.

He was crouched down, holding a gun up as he walked very quietly and carefully throughout the house so as to not alert any of the Dimitrescu daughters. He opened one of the unlocked doors carefully and immediately stopped moving at the sight of someone.

You wore no cloak, to signify that you were a daughter and you were much shorter than the lady of the house. You grabbed one of the lipsticks that Alicna had plenty of and leaned over the vanity to see how it looked on you.

Ethan stood up and held the gun up to your head. You raised an eyebrow, looking at him from the mirror reflection.

“Who are you?” he asked, voice rough. Rougher than his face looked. You put on the lipstick and then rubbed your lips together.

“Do you think this is my color?” He shoved the gun further into your head and you scoffed. “Fine fine. Not one for makeup eh?” You put your hands up and turned around. He let you sit down on the vanity but not without his gun still pointing at your skull. You seemed unphased which would have been weird if Ethan wasn’t incredibly desensitized to everything ever.

“Who are you? Are you one of the vampires? One of the other family members? Who are you?!” You put your hands slowly down on your lap. He let you, but you were testing his patience.

“Not quite.” You gestured to him. “I’m human. Like you. Well not like you, I’m completely human, no mutations or anything done.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he hissed. You waved him off.

“If you hurt me, you will have Karl on your head and I imagine it won’t be pretty. It’s the only way I can get from Castle to Castle unharmed,” you told him.

“Karl?”

“You know, fun hat, frizzy hair, has that big hammer thing. Karl.”

“Heisenberg?” You nodded.

“Yes Ethan, I thought you were smarter than this.” Ethan shook his head quickly and then regained focus, his hand holding the gun shaking a bit.

“Where’s Rose?” You shrugged.

“Fuck if I know Ethan Winters. I’m just the person who lives in a factory and becomes a nuisance for each and every Lord.” He jabbed the gun at your head and you didn’t even flinch.

“You’re lying.”

“Truthfully, I am not. If I knew where Rose was I would at least give you a hint, just to make it interesting.”

“What is Heisenberg to you?” he asked. You smiled a bit, crossing your legs.

“I’m Heisenberg's...girlfriend for lack of a better word. Whatever Mia was to you.” His mind flashed back to Mia. He had barely been able to mourn her. He shook the thought out of his head.

“You know how to get out of here and get Rose yes?”

“I know how to get out of here. How to get Rose, I have no idea. We’ve been over this.”

“But Heisenberg knows and if I can bring you to him, he can tell me.” You shook your head gently.

“Ethan sweetie...I could call for Alcina or the girls at any time and they would be in here in seconds to tear you to pieces.”

“Not before I could pull this trigger.”

“Again, if you so much as scratch me, you’ll never breath non metal infused air again.” Ethan shook his head gently and took a deep breath. He grabbed the gun at you again. He was silent and then he lowered it.

“I’ll just be going then,” he muttered, defeated. You nodded pleasantly and stood up from sitting on the vanity. You put the lipstick back on it. You walked forward and put your hand on Ethan’s shoulder. He looked you in the eyes.

“Good luck Ethan Winters.” You started to leave but turned to him. “I do suggest that in order to save your daughter you don’t kill Alicna’s in the process.”

“Any bits of advice then?” You put your hand on the doorknob and turned it, opening it just a tad.

“Grab the masks for the main room. Do you have a map?” He handed it to you, a tattered old piece of paper. You grabbed the lipstick again and marked some places. “Avoid hurting them as much as you can.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“I don’t like Mother Miranda. I don’t trust Mother Miranda. She is the one who has your daughter I’m sure or she must know where she is. But the Dimitrescus and Karl...even Donna for that matter, are people I like and trust.”

You stepped back outside the room.

“If I hear you’ve killed any of the daughters, I’ll tell them what I know of you. If you think the Dimitrescus are scary, just wait until you meet Donna.”

You shut the door in his face. Ethan shivered.

====

You walked up the stairs to the second floor. You knocked on the door of Alcinas room and she swang it open. She took a sigh of relief.

“Thank God. I thought you were Ethan Winters.”

“You think Ethan would knock before coming in?” She scoffed. You held her the lipstick you were wearing.

“Where did you find that?”

“Downstairs where I ran into Ethan,” you said honestly. Her eyes went wide and her lips pursed in annoyance.

“Did you see the girls?”

“No but I’m sure one of them ran into him as he left the room. He was only there a couple of minutes ago, it shouldn't be that hard to find him.” She walked past you without saying goodbye. You huffed. “You’re welcome!”

=====

You made it back to the factory in just a couple of minutes. You had gotten so used to the walk that you were on autopilot the whole time before you were back to your room. Karl was already there, clearly taking a quick break before returning to his never ending work day.

“Where did you go?!” he asked, walking up to you from the bathroom. He put his hand on your arm and you grabbed his glasses which were hanging from his shirt. He had shed the jacket and hat, clearly about to shower.

“Relax, I was just at Alcinas castle,” you told him gently. He let out an annoyed exaggerated sigh that you knew all too well.

“How is my sister?” he asked. You took the lipstick out of your pocket. Alcina hadn’t actually taken it in her fit of rage to go and get Ethan. Now you had something extra for your own personal vanity back at the factory.

“Shy of one more lipstick.” You walked past him into the bathroom. He followed you as you placed it carefully on your vanity. You admired it for a second with a smile on your face. You wrapped an arm around yourself and turned back to him. You hoisted yourself onto the bathroom counter. “I ran into Ethan Winters.”

His face, which had been admiring your new addition to the vanity which was full of stolen things and things he had acquired for you, turned sour. Karl put his hand on your arm and raised it, checking your side and arm for injuries.

“I told you not to leave the room until he was caught,” he grumbled. He was trying to act like he hadn’t been worried about you from the second he realized you were gone. He was trying to ignore the fact that he himself almost stomped to each of the Lord’s castles to make sure you were alright. He didn’t want you to run into Ethan Winters, that was his worst nightmare. Ethan didn’t have any regard for you. Ethan just wanted Rose. “Are you hurt?” You shook your head.

“No. He asked me if I knew where Rose was and held a gun to my head but in the end we parted ways peacefully.”

“You could have brought him back here,” he muttered.

“I told Alcina where he was. I figured she could take care of him. You already had your shot.” He rolled his eyes and his grip on your arm tightened.

“You could have been seriously hurt. The Lord’s won’t hurt you but Mother Miranda might, Ethan might have.” You brought your free hand up to his cheek and leaned forward so your lips were just barely brushing over his.

“I can take care of myself.” He pressed a harsh kiss against your lips and made a low groaning noise. He let go of your arm to grab your leg and part them so that he could stand between your thighs. He dipped his head to kiss you and you pressed your body against him, feeling every inch of his breathing.

There was a harsh rasp at the door and he pulled away. You grabbed his neck and shook his head, kissing his jaw and peppering kisses down his neck.

“Come on, Mother Miranda doesn’t need you that bad,” you whispered. You pressed a long kiss to his jaw again and he had to physically tear himself away, however much it pained him.

“She might,” he grumbled. You held him until he moved too far away for you to. You groaned and put your head against the wall beside the mirror.

“Maybe I should go and find Ethan Winters again to finish the job. I mean he may only have eight fingers but he’s stayed alive this long and-” He grabbed your arm that was waving around as you spoke and looked you dead in the eyes.

“I will finish the job. You just sit tight kitten.” You kissed his knuckles and then let him go.

“Better be quick Karl. I get very restless very easily.”

He put on his hat and coat (the opposite of either of you wanted in the moment) and slammed the door in frustration against Mother Miranda behind him.

You took a deep breath and hoped he wouldn’t be gone too long.

NSFW Part 2

#karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg imagines #heisenberg imagines #resident evil 8 imagines

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