#genuinely my favourite bit of his videos is finding out what gender i am this time

[drivingsideways]

Melo is My Nature Review

Well, as usual, I’m late to the party! I picked up 2019′s Melo is my Nature/ Be Melodramatic with some trepidation since I was (am!) still smarting a bit from the disappointment that’s Hospital Playlist S2, and I wasn’t quite ready for another. 

I’m so glad I gave it a chance! While it isn’t a “perfect” series- in the nature of the world *sigh*- its combination of quirky, clever, self-aware humour and heartfelt performances won me over from the first episode. 

More thoughts under the cut (along with some spoilers)

I’m very fond of ensemble dramas that love their characters, and “Melo is my Nature” does that very well. Perhaps a little too well, to the point that you feel the writers letting themselves be more than a little indulgent during the middle stretch of the episodes. But I can’t complain too much, because yes, I know the feeling!  “Side characters” that refuse to stay in the lane and take over the narrative are also my favourites, as a writer and a viewer. I loved, loved, loved Lee Joo-bin as the flighty-but-amazingly-smart Lee So-min; that felt like such a delightful  clap-back against the prevailing sentiment that often goes against young, successful women and the ridiculous levels of expectations of them, in how they need to perform gender and  femininity and smartness. I loved that (like Emma! There’s a lot of Jane in this series!) the writers managed to make her likeable even though they never disregard her flaws or its consequences.

 Another performance/ character that I totally adored was Baek Ji-won as Jeong Hye-jeong, the industry maven who may be (?) a nod to Kim Eun-sook, I suppose! I was afraid at some point that they’d just trash her character, by making her a little too ridiculous in an unkind way, but I found some of the loveliest scenes involved her- like the one where she tells Jin-joo to do the work, but not be too successful. In the end, there was a love and fondness for her, a genuine empathy, that really was core to what made this show so successful. 

Shout out also to two of the weirdest characters I’ve watched, but thoroughly loved- Heo Joon-seok as Director Dong-gi & Lee Ji-min as Nutritionist (?) Da-mi. I absolutely adored that the only wedding in this series is between these two, and they do it in a completely predictably-unusual way. 

Re: the “main” characters, I loved all of them without exception, though some more than the others :) One of the things I love about the show is how real and present the three female leads feel; they feel like whole, entire people rather than caricatures of them, even when the show reaches almost unusual levels of quirky. I love that a through-line of the narrative is how important women’s labour is- to themselves. The work they do, which is acknowledged as a part of their identity rather than just something they do to pay bills (though of course there’s acknowledgement of that aspect too!),  their hunger to do it well and for it to matter- all of that is portrayed in a way that’s charming  but still taken very seriously. And the way you know that its taken seriously is in the things they focus on- how Oh Jin-joo struggles to write alone, and how Han-joo’s learning to be someone’s mentor while struggling with her own insecurities, and how lost Eun-jung feels, when work which was supposed to give her purpose fails her in a time of crisis, and how unmoored she feels without it. 

Re: the romance- I’m someone predisposed to dislike heterosexual romance, especially at the present moment, so it’s always with a great deal of hesitation that I start watching shows that I know have a large romance component. It’s always a bit of a coin toss for me whether the show will end up making me hate the romance or just about tolerate it. I rarely expect to *like * it.  So “Melo is my Nature” was a pleasant surprise!  This is  one of the few series where I felt the writers put in the work to sell the “main romance” of the show. You get to know the Oh Jin-joo and Beom-soo in sharply etched sketches before they move into the romance part (with a lot of tongue-in-cheek meta humour about the formulaic nature of tv romances). I genuinely felt that thrill of  “oh this could go platonic or romantic and I would like either” slowly ease into “oh my god these two are MEANT TO BE”, because the Romance is clearly in the all the ways they are NOT meant to be, but also, very, very definitely are. DELICIOUS. Just my cup of Jane Austen in a different context/ time.

Through most of the show though, my heart was divided between two characters- Jeon Yeo-bin’s stellar Eun-jung and Han Ji-eun’s pitch perfect Han-joo. Jeon Yeo-bin brought edginess, dark humour and a deep, almost- inconsolable grief to Eun-jung. Some of the stand out scenes of the entire series are hers: the moment where she watches herself on video talking to an imaginary person, and the moment she breaks down in front of the psych after talking about her mother. Watching this show, it really felt like- oh, she’s a star. Consider me sold on her for life (though, no, I will not watch Vincenzo unless there’s a Hong Cha-young supercut out there, in which case, please put it in my eyeballs now)

Han Ji-eun, imho, actually pulled off the toughest performance, because I think Han-joo’s strength of character is so often concealed by her “silliness” (in a similar vein to So-min’s), and that often makes her someone you’d overlook or not take seriously.  But god, she broke my heart, from the scene in the first episode where she’s sitting alone at a table after a rough day and watching her horrible ex live his best life to the hilarious and excruciating  “Oppa” scene, to the one where her kid is quite unconsciously cruel to her in the way kids can be. I was disappointed in the way they dropped the “reveal” about whom she’s dating in the last episode- not that I wanted her to be in an romance with Jae-hoon, god, NO- but it felt quite clunky.  This is one of the two complaints I have with the show. 

The second one is that starting from the middle, episodes began to noticeably feel like scenes/ sketches spliced together. Each scene is, within itself, perfectly written and performed, but the seams between the stories began to show. I felt one of the main reasons was that Eun-jung’s trauma tonally felt like it belonged in another show, but instead it had to get stitched into the mostly happy/ frothy storylines of the other characters. Sure, we had Hae-joon and his girlfriend’s terrible relationship, but the show had an easier time integrating that by way of Han-joo.

That said, I love how clever this show is! I love that it loves its own cleverness and can’t resist the urge to show it off- from all the meta references, in-universe jokes, and oh, that entire episode devoted to farting, complete with a song about it,  which I think maybe my fave episode of the series. A great look at the place of performance in intimate relationships (and how the women bear the burden of it more than the men), but coming at it from a place of compassion and humour rather than anger. Love that choice, for the show and us! 

I think @rain-hat mentioned in a comment here or twitter that Melo feels like a part of a triangle of shows along with Run On and Search : WWW.  I’m inclined to swap out Run On for Rookie Historian, or huh, maybe change the triangle for a quadrangle? Rookie Historian dares to imagine a past where our protagonist is (mostly) unshackled by the patriarchy and in the “modern” ending to its main heterosexual romance, reminds us that people have always found ways to find joy and thrive outside the rigid bounds of society. Search: WWW goes about it in the opposite direction- placing us in a present/future where the patriarchy doesn’t  and hasn’t ever mattered. Melo, I think, doesn’t quite do that, but in common with both these shows, it refuses to focus on the trauma of living under such structural violence, and instead talks about how we all (irrespective of gender) can find a way to remain unbroken by it. And while both Search:WWW and Melo do well at queer-platonic relationships as an alternate to the heterosexual project, it’s Run On, I think, which goes furthest there- firstly because though ostensibly structured around a het romance, that romance turns out to be falling in love with yourself/ loving yourself;  secondly because it’s most explicitly queer in the choices that the characters make and the lives that they choose for themselves- Min-joo & May are each others darlings and will be for life, Yeong-hwa and Ki Seon-gyeom are allowed a tenderness in their friendship that feels like an explicit repudiation of toxic masculinity, and of course, you have May being asexual, but not aromantic, and Goh Ye-jun’s whole arc of accepting himself as a gay man, and finding acceptance of that identity from others. 

Anyway! tl;dr would recommend (and have recommended!) Melo is my Nature to anyone fond of women, clever story telling and also ridiculously happy songs.

[milkybonya]

a Letter a week - Penpal!Hui Au

Warnings: mentions of food, video calling

Pairing: Hui x (gender neutral) reader !

Word count: 3.5k words

Summary: Where Hui is trying to learn English and you are trying to learn Korean, so your schools set you up as penpals.

[a/n]: so ever since my friend told me that my soulmate is supposedly a virgo and i realized that Hui is a virgo, i’ve been a lil more soft for Hui ever since. also Hui is just so talented and makes me happy and deserves the world SO YEAH i hope this is enjoyable ! 

Everyone was always excited to reach the last year of high school; not only because of graduation, but also because all seniors, if they wanted to, would be given a penpal from another country to write to for a year. It was your school’s tradition.

On the first day of senior year, you had written on the penpal form that you would prefer to have a penpal from Korea, since you were trying to learn Korean and were interested in their culture. You also got the option of choosing whether or not you wanted to write the first letter, and you said you didn’t mind either way. 

The next week, all of the seniors were supposed to send out their firstletters. Your teacher informed you that your penpal wanted to write the first letter, so you would have to wait until next week to receive it.

“The only thing I’ll tell you is that he is from Korea! I hope that he will help you on your Korean-learning journey,” your teacher said, smiling at you with her hands clasped together.

At lunch, your friends were all talking about their penpals.

“I really hope my penpal likes marvel too. That was one of the first things I wrote about!” one of your friends, sitting to your left said.

“I just want someone who’s cute so I can end up dating them,” your other friend said, across from you.

The friend to your left scoffed. “Not everything is about love, you know!”

-

Incoming letter from Hui!

A week later, a letter from Korea finally arrived at your door. You rushed up to your room to read it, seeing the sender’s name: Lee Hwitaek.

Hello,

I am Hwitaek (●⌒ｖ⌒●) but if easier, call me Hui! I am happy to be writing with you. They said that we are writing together because you want to learn Korean and I want to learn English. Please teach me well （´・｀ ）♡ I will try to teach you also! Funny, my mother is an old English teacher, so she want me to learn English too.

A bit about me, I like music very much! I like writing songs and dancing too. I do that a lot with my friends. They are nice but can make me feeling angry sometimes （￣^￣） I have an older brother, but my friends are like a younger brothers (╯︵╰,) I like to playing games with them sometimes too. Do you like music too? And games?

I wanted to write for you first because I was so excited! I will be excited to get your letter too. I think what time it is when you get my letter? Now when I write it, it is afternoon here. I am writing in my bedroom and the sky is today very pretty. How does the sky looking there?

I don’t want write too much, don’t want to make you bored. I am excited for your reply! 

waiting,

Hwitaek

When you finished reading, you sprawled out on your bed, staring at the ceiling. He sounded so sweet and wholesome... You bolted upright, rushing to your desk to write a response.

-

It went back and forth like this, week after week. You would receive a letter from him every week, and he would receive one from you every week too. As the two of you wrote to each other more often, the letters grew longer and longer, full of more things you wanted to tell each other. 

Somehow, the two of you really clicked, even though it did not go so well for your other friends. 

“It’s so awkward... I think I’m going to have to stop writing,” one of your friends told you.

At some point, Hui started to decorate the envelopes and letters that he would send to you with little coloured doodles, since that was all he could do. Your school had said that you and your penpal could only include ‘goodies’ in the letter (like photos, pressed flowers or stickers) after two months. However, after two months, you were not allowed to send a photo of yourself yet.

As soon as those two months passed, you included photos of all of your favourite places in your city as well as some pressed flowers that had an important memory attached to them. 

Incoming letter from Hui!

Those places look very beautiful! I wonder if I can come there some day? Maybe with you? I hope so... I am very curious to see you and meet you. Also, thank you for the flowers! I am going to put them in my favourite book, so they can be safe. They still smell good too (●⌒ｖ⌒●)

This is a book café that I went to, it reminded me of the book that I kept your flowers in ^^ Is it pretty? Do you like places like this? I wonder if I can take you here one day...

This is an old photo... After you told me you had a hard time this week, I decided to include these, because they mean rebirth （´・｀ ）♡ I hope that you can feel reborn and have a better week this week, starting fresh !

His letter cheered you up a lot, especially because you confided in him about how hard your past week had been and he took that into account, thinking of you.

Excited at being able to send each other things, you would send things ranging from small candies to movie tickets from a movie you had seen. You were always excited to see Hui’s reactions to the candies you sent. Sometimes he would comment about how you had to send him more because of how much he enjoyed it, other times he would nicely say that he didn’t like it.

After another two months, you were finally allowed to send each other photos of yourselves, if you felt comfortable to, of course. The letters leading up to this moment consisted of you and Hui counting down the days, Hui constantly writing about how excited he was to finally put a face to your words. When you felt insecure and thought he would be disappointed, he insisted that you were absolutely beautiful no matter what.

Sometimes, his words really made you blush. His encouragement, his genuine responses to all of the things you wrote to him about. He made your heart feel warm with his kindness.

Incoming letter from Hui!

Hello,

Finally, you can see that this is me! I worried so much to choose a picture where I was cool and stylish, do I look okay? Here you see me drinking my favourite Starbucks that you know I like ^.^

I am very excited to know that your next letter will also have your photo. I am very happy to know that I will finally see your beautiful face soon!

As you continued to read Hui’s letter, you could not stop staring at the photo he had sent to you. His peach hair and his soft skin. His hand barely revealing itself under the big jean jacket made you want to hold it and wrap his delicate fingers around your hand... Wait, no. Hold his hand? Goodness what were you thinking... Your face got hot and you had to open a window to let some air in.

When you finally calmed down, you wrote your response letter, quickly putting a photo of yourself inside and sealing the envelope.

-

Incoming letter from Hui!

Wow.. So this is what you look like? I can really not believe it... You are so beautiful, you should have never been worried about disappointing me at all. Your beauty is at the maximum level! I am so happy to see your photo like this... I am so happy to see the face of the kind person who has been writing to me all this time. Thank you so much.

Hui went on and on gushing about how wonderful you are. In fact, the entire letter was about you and your cold hands kept nearing your warm face to cool it down, touching your red cheeks. His words were so sweet, despite English not being his first language.

Just like that day when you received his letter for the first time, you collapsed on your bed. Your heart was racing, you couldn’t stop smiling and your face was so. Red. That was the moment. That was when you realized your feelings for Hui. No one else could make you feel this way.

-

Hui always made sure to include a photo of himself from that point on. You saved them in an empty photo album that you had, but you never admitted that to Hui. (Little did you know, Hui was always saving all of the photos you would send of yourself to him each week too)

As it was nearing the end of your time in high school, your friends were surprised at how well you were getting along with Hui. You would show them a few of his letters and photos sometimes, and they would tease you a lot.

“He writes to you like this? Isn’t this more of a love letter? ‘My dear, it’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to do badly. As long as you have tried your best, know that I will be with you until the end’“ your love-obsessed friend read out. You quickly snatched the letter from her hands, not wanting to hear those precious words be read out mockingly. But you had to admit, you were blushing at your friends comments.

Your friend took that chance to point your red face out. “Look, look, look! The colour of her face went red in an instant! Don’t tell me... you like him?”

“So what if I do!” You said, a little annoyed and tired of all of the teasing. Your friends looked at each other, smirking and winking.

“Wow I can’t believe it. This has never happened before in the history of penpalling at our school,” another one of your friends said, sitting to your right.

-

During the last month of school, you were finally allowed to exchange social media if you wished to continue staying in touch.  Of course Hui shared his sns with you, and you did the same with him. You were surprised to find that quite a few of the pictures on his feed were of the letters and things that you had sent him. 

“Another letter from my lovely penpal~!”

“They sent me all of the sweets that I love so much this time >.<”

All of his other captions were full of excitement in receiving your letters, too. And what was funny was that you had also boasted Hui’s letters on your sns once or twice. The two of you talked about how funny this was in your DMs.

The instant you got the chance to, you video called. Your heart was racing and you were nervous that it would be uncomfortable,  imagining Hui smiling awkwardly and not knowing what to say.

(including this gif again because I imagine this is what he’ll look like during your first video call)

“Ah, hello hello?” Hui said.

“Hello!” You responded.

“Oh, [y/n]! Look at you! Looking so good! How are you?” He said, smiling brightly.

Eventually the conversation started flowing and the two of you laughed and talked until you felt tired.

It was sad when you had to hang up, but you knew that you could always contact him soon. It was a lot nicer being able to text him whenever you wanted. 

Hui was kind and would simply call you when you didn’t feel comfortable showing your face. One day, you even fell asleep to the sound of his soft voice while he was talking about what he and his friends had done the day before. 

“-So Shinwon and I, you know Shinwon, I told you about him right? We were playing games and I really didn’t want to lose-oh. [y/n]? [y/n]? Are you sleeping? Ah, I will hang up now and let you sleep.”

You felt bad when you realized that you had fallen asleep in the middle of him talking, but he insisted later that it was okay.

“It was cute to hear you softly snore and breathe heavy” he texted you.

Other times, he would sing his songs for you, asking you what you thought. There wasn’t a single song of his that you didn’t enjoy, but you were always honest in telling him when you thought something sounded awkward.

-

“[y/n]! Stay back after class, I need to have a word with you,” your teacher said during your final week of classes.

As everyone left, you slowly walked to the front of your class, feeling worried.

“Don’t be worried!” Your teacher said, as if reading your mind. “I have good news.”

She sat at her desk and gestured for you to sit at the desk nearest to her.

“So, there is actually a prize for those who are able to get along with their penpals well. We did not tell anyone in case some people would fake that they liked their penpals and would keep forcing themselves to send letters, but after seeing how much you enjoy talking to Hui to a point where you even exchanged social media, we will pay for you to fly to Korea this summer.”

You couldn’t believe it. You had always wanted to go there, always dreamed of it, and to know that you could meet Hui made you even happier.

“Thank you so much! Thank you, thank you,” you repeated and your teacher simply smiled.

-

As soon as your plane landed during a Korean afternoon, you were nervous.

“You are coming to Korea? When? Which flight? Please tell me so I can meet you at the airport”

You remembered Hui’s texts when you told him you were coming. Stepping out of the airplane, you knew that he would be there after you passed security and picked up your luggage. You were so excited to finally see him, not through a screen or photo, to hold him and hug him- calm down, you told yourself.

As you approached the doors that were all that stood between you and Hui, you stopped to close your eyes and take a breath. Gathering your senses, you followed the other people through the doors.

Your eyes instantly found Hui. He was checking his phone and the arrivals screen before he looked at the doors and his eyes met yours. He smiled so brightly that you thought you would fall to the ground right there and then - his smile looked so much warmly in person.

You walked faster and faster towards him, not being able to contain your excitement. He waved wildly at you, laughing. When you were only three metres away, he scrunched his nose and held out his arms for you, ready for the hug that you never told him you wanted, but really did.

You buried yourself into his chest, feeling the warmth of his arms around you. Finally, finally...

He stepped back to take a good look at you and he could not stop smiling, neither could you, honestly.

“Wow, finally I am able to see you...” he said.

As he helped you with your luggage, you noticed a white envelope in his back pocket. He drove you to his home, which you had agreed to stay at after he offered.

At his home, he showed you to the only bedroom since he noticed you were tired. When you looked concerned, wondering where he would sleep, he said, “Don’t worry! I have another mattress that I can lay on the ground.” No matter how much you insisted that you could sleep on the ground, he wouldn’t let you.

You changed into clean, comfortable clothes and laid down in his bed. There was a faint scent of perfume hidden in the bedsheets, and you could tell it was his. You fell asleep soundly while smiling and listening to Hui trying not to make noise in the kitchen.

-

When you woke up, Hui had prepared something for you to eat. He told you that he had tried his best and “sorry if it isn’t so good,” but you enjoyed it. It was nice to have some warm, home cooked food after the flight.

“I know it is dark, but do you want to go to one of my favourite coffee shops?” He asked, leaning forward in his seat and staring into your eyes with a grin. You shyly agreed and walked to the coffee shop that was near his house. 

On the way, the cars and streetlights blurred together like a galaxy (or universe, should i say) and you really felt like you were over the moon, walking next to Hui.

When you arrived at the coffee shop, you realized immediately. It was the same one as in the first photo he had sent you.

“You know this place, right?” he asked, while holding the door open.

“I do, I remember! You sent me the photo,” you said.

After ordering drinks, you walked over to a quiet corner by a window. You had noticed that Hui was carrying the white envelope that was in his back pocket when he met you at the airport. You were too flustered to ask him about it then, but now as he laid it on the table, you asked.

“This?” he said, pointing at it. “It’s for you, but read it after our drinks come.”

A few minutes later, when a server brought your drinks, you snatched the envelope right away, Hui laughing at your eagerness. Neatly tearing it open, you read it.

Wow, I cannot believe that when you read this, I will have met you in person. My heart races at the thought, and I cannot wait for it. The truth is, my heart races a lot these days. After seeing your picture for the first time... I was really... I could not stop looking at your cute face and I really wished to see you in person.

After calling you and hearing your voice, my feeling for you grew. I fell asleep thinking of you and woke up excited to check my messages for your name. Even before all of this, your letters always made me happy and cheered me up.

I’m sorry that it is only now that I am realizing my feelings. But yes, I am saying that I like you. Can you accept my confession?

It was so brave, to risk a friendship in that way. But you knew this meant that Hui knew to some extent of your feelings for him.

You brushed your thumb over the curves of his writing and looked up at him. He had been staring at the window, a trace of a smile in his face that grew when he looked back at you to meet your eyes. His head was cocked to the side, waiting for your response.

“Hui...” you wanted to say it, you wanted to say it so bad but you were nervous. So you grabbed a pen from the table and wrote your feeling on a napkin, just like you had written your feelings in your letters to him every week. “Hui, I like you too” you wrote.

As soon as he could make out your lettering, he grabbed your hand and smiled, looking into your eyes.

“Should we date, then? Starting from this moment?” he asked, and with your small nod, it was affirmed. 

You felt butterflies non-stop in your stomach, and even though you thought things would be awkward, Hui didn’t let that happened. He resumed the conversation as if it was the two of you video calling again.

When you stepped out of the café, having finished your drinks, Hui walked in front of you and faced you. He cupped your face in his soft hands and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. You couldn’t help but close your eyes and feel your heart flutter. When you opened your eyes, you noticed the full moon shining brightly in the sky.

He held your hand for the rest of the walk home, excitedly telling you about all the places he wanted to go with you.

[sheoutcasted]

      hiiiii doves!!  (♡´ω`♡)  i’m amanda  (20, she/her)  and i am suuuuper excited to be back;  i can’t wait to properly meet all of you  +  your muses!!

under the cut, you’ll find some information on my lovely little bean, dreamer (yes that’s her real birth name) delamora, as well as some connection ideas  ♥♥

i.   profile,

full name.   ›   dreamer rose delamora

nickname(s).   ›   dream, little dreamer (only by her mother)

age.   ›   19 years old

gender, pronouns.   ›   cis woman, she/her

sexuality.   ›   bisexual

major.   ›   education

aesthetics.   ›   oversized sweaters with skater skirts, muted colour palette, messy braids, true crime videos at 2am, pouring emotions into an original song, the echo of a recognizable laugh

                                  (  continued... )

ii.   important information,

› born and raised by a single mother in valencia, spain;  her mother didn’t have much money but still tried to give her daughter the best.  her grandparents would often look after her while her mother was working 2 - 3 jobs in order to make a comfortable living

›  when dreamer was 6, her mother met zacarious (zac) souza and it was genuinely love at first sight  -  they instantly clicked and were inseparable. 2 months later, they’re in a relationship. 1 month after they made things official, dreamer and her mother moved in with him in a 3-bedroom apartment. life is really looking up at this point

›  when dreamer was 13, she started getting alienated by her peers at school. she never really knew or even understood why  -  though it might’ve been because of her generally weird nature  (i mean, who goes up to people with a white bedsheet over them  &  screams BOO! at people?).  as a means of feeling less lonely, dreamer started learning how to play guitar;  it took her a while but once she got the hang of it, she would sneak into restricted areas with her acoustic guitar and play and smoke weed for hours on end.

(MISSING PERSON TW)  ›   when dreamer was 15, she got awoken from a phone call one evening; her (step-)father is frantic, asking if she’d seen or heard from her mother.  she hadn’t;  not in about a day, in fact, which was quite strange considering how close they were. the day after, her mother is filed as a missing person.  hours upon hours are spent trying to find her but it’s to no avail.  rose delamore up and vanished off the face of the earth.  dreamer was even more alienated after this.

›   when dreamer was 16, zac legally adopted her.  the trio  - dreamer, her mother and zac  -  had always been a family; right from the start.  and now that her mother was gone, zac felt responsible for her (which was completely okay in his books; he loves her like his own).  it’s also then that he told her about her mother’s secret college fund for her;  finding out about this made her sob.

›  when dreamer was 18, she finally decided on a school: château campus.  it’s beautiful and she knew in her heart that her mother would be proud of her for picking such a place  -  the pair had started from the bitter bottom and now, dreamer is going to a breathtaking school to study.  her father was most definitely proud of her.  dreamer, herself, on the other hand, has mixed emotions.  she grew up an outcast and now she’s moving to a place where no one knows her name.  things were going to change  -  she made a promise to herself to get out of this outcast label and have a good time at the campus.

›  dreamer is 19 now and settling into the campus.  she’s made a few friends so far  &  already knows who she won’t click with.  she constantly tries to fight her socially awkwardness; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  keeping her promise to herself to break out of her shell might prove to be difficult considering she’s only ever been an outcast growing up and has no idea how not to be one.

other random info,

›  her name is dreamer because when her mother was pregnant with her, she was literally like “hahah, what if i named my kid dreamer” as a joke but it ended up sticking because she literally just couldn’t find another name that she liked

›  her mother is a very, very touchy subject for her  &  even after a few years, she can’t talk (or even think) about her without wanting to burst into tears.  dreamer actually always has one of her mother’s favourite necklaces on  -  it’s a beautiful rosegold locket necklace with a photo of their little family in it;  she literally refuses to take it off.

(DEATH TW)  ›  at this point, dreamer thinks her mother is deceased  -  she’s been told by authorities that the likelihood of her being found alive at this point would be very, very slim so as a means of like, making it a bit easier to cope with her mother being missing. dreamer just tells people that her mother is dead  (to avoid the complicated and heartbreaking real story that she’s a missing person).

›  dreamer is genuinely one of the best frigging friends ever  -  if you need someone, even at ungodly hours, she won’t hesitate to get up and be there for you.  she didn’t have very many genuine friends going up so having them is really exciting to her.

(ANXIETY TW)   ›  she has undiagnosed social anxiety and suffers from the occasional anxiety / panic attack when in social situations (like parties or gatherings).  because of the promise she made herself, she’s been trying to push herself a bit more to go to said social situations and stay as long as she can.  she’s honestly really proud of herself for this because she would avoid every social gathering growing up like they were the cheese from diary of a wimpy kid and she’d get the cheese touch if she went.

›  she’s reeeaaalllyy interested in true crime  +  unsolved mysteries.  this honestly might just be something of a coping mechanism so she doesn’t feel so alone (cause her mother is basically an unsolved mystery).  she finds it so interesting, in fact, that if she didn’t want to be a music teacher so badly, she would’ve been a detective.

›  this is just a random headcanon but she gives the best hugs :) and also makes the best brownies.

iii.   wanted connections,

best friend.   ›   when you first saw dreamer, you could sense those “lost puppy” vibes and decided to offer your friendship.  there was an instant click between the two of you and she considers you to be one of her best friends at this point.  ( 0 / 1 )

bully & mutual dislike.   ›   from the moment you saw her, you knew that dreamer was the perfect target.  quiet, non-argumentative, visibly awkward.  your words play on repeat in dreamer’s mind at night.  she doesn’t like you at all and goes to great lengths to avoid you.  ( 0 / 1 )

one-sided (or mutual) crush.   ›   you know those scenes in movies where the beautiful person walks in slow motion, their hair blowing perfectly in the wind, sparkles fluttering around them.  that’s what dreamer saw the very first time she laid eyes on you and she hasn’t been able to shake off the butterflies since. at this point, you two are friends  &  whether or not that prior-mentioned feeling is mutual is totally up in the air.  ( 0 / 1 )

                                (  continued... )

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (3)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, youtuber phil lester, dan howell is not a youtuber, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.1k (this chapter), 9.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Interviews used to be Phil's least favourite part of this job. The research was always captivating, the filming was always fun, the editing was always challenging, but talking? To people? About things? Absolutely not.

He still doesn't love doing it, but he's long past the point of begging Martyn or Ian to pretend to be him on the phone.

The curtains in Phil's room are open for once, letting natural light in so he doesn't look as dark on the Skype screen. His eyes keep drifting to himself, distracting him as he tries to fix his hair or laments not getting out of his pyjamas. This is his fourth interview of the day, and he's starting to hate the process with a renewed fervour.

"Okay, thank you," he says, clicking out of the screen record window. "Can I message you here if I have any further questions, or would you prefer this to be your final statement?"

"Oh, um," the girl says, her eyes round with some kind of emotion that Phil can't be bothered to parse. "No, no, that's... that's all I saw. I don't have anything else. But you can still... message me, if you like."

Ah. Phil makes a face that he hopes reads as apologetic and not panicked. "No, I - sorry. Gay. Just interested in your ghost."

"Oh!" she says again, looking more puzzled than Phil thinks she has any right to after a forty minute conversation where he mostly just asked her clarifying questions that she kept dodging. She tucks some of her long hair behind her ear and shakes her head. "Sorry, that's just - you haven't said that online."

Phil isn't very good at knowing when people are lying to him, but now he's definitely suspicious of the half-assed testimony he'd gotten from this girl. He sighs. "Okay, you know who I am, then?"

"I mean, I looked you up when you messaged me about a video and all," she says. "Wanted to know if you were a creep or, like, legit."

Okay, that's fair enough. Phil supposes that if he were a girl in uni and a stranger asked to video chat, he'd also do a little digging first. He still doesn't quite believe her story, though - most of it matches what she'd written on Facebook, word for word, and she didn't go into detail on anything she claimed happened.

"Right, of course," says Phil, feeling awkward and exposed.

Her eyes are wide and blue and she can see into his room, into his life, and she's giving him this look like she thinks she knows something about him. He hates this feeling.

"That a secret, then?" she asks.

"No," Phil says. "It's just not relevant to my job. I don't have a lot of ghouls asking me out."

She doesn't laugh. Phil is getting more and more uncomfortable by the second, and he's wondering if it's worth it to hang up on a potential lead - no matter how dubious her claims - when she says, "Well, alright. I won't tell anyone anyway."

"Thanks," Phil says automatically. He doesn't particularly care if she does or not, but he does want this call to end as soon as possible. "And thanks for your time. Message me if you think of anything else you forgot to mention about the Wilkins place or if you know of someone who's seen something."

Before she can even respond, Phil hits end on the call and groans, resting his forehead on his thumbs for a moment.

Unsurprisingly, this is giving him a migraine. It doesn't take much to make the twinge of a headache turn to insistent throbbing, because Phil's body hates him and overreacts to everything.

Phil takes a couple of deep breaths before he comes out of hiding. He attaches the final screen recording to the email he's already got open and ready to send to Martyn. After a moment's thought, he CCs PJ and Sophie in and adds, Nobody sounds credible except the second person to me, so... it's not looking good lol, before hitting send.

He takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes for a moment. Interviews are still draining for him, especially when they don't go as planned, and Phil's starting to get the impression that there's nothing to even find at the Wilkins place.

But. Phil pauses, considers his options. He hasn't interviewed everyone, has he.

Before he can talk himself out of it, Phil shoves his glasses unceremoniously back onto his face and opens Tumblr. Winnie hasn't said anything to him so far today, so Phil feels only a little like he's bothering them when he shoots off a quick, Hey! I just finished interviewing the sources you gave me and most of them aren't very promising. Would you consider letting me ask you some questions to round out the video?

me?????, Winnie replies almost immediately. i didnt even see anything?? like im happy to answer questions but idk how much use ill b in an INTERVIEW

I know! And you don't have to lmao so don't feel pressured or anything but you know so much more about the place than they do. Everyone claimed that they didn't know other people were having paranormal experiences.

oh bullshit, Winnie says. Phil is surprised into a huff of laughter.

There's a part of Phil, fuelled by anxiety and uncertainty, that worries Winnie is just pulling an elaborate joke on him. That part of him feels a little more at ease every time he actually talks to Winnie. They just seem... genuine. And maybe Martyn would disagree, would blame Phil's desperation to see the best in people, but there's a reason Phil doesn't tell Martyn everything.

Before Phil can agree with Winnie's colourful derision, his laptop beeps again. i look like an ogre rn but i can voice chat if you rly think itll help

It would!!, Phil assures them. The tender spot behind his eyes twinges again, serving as a reminder. Can I call in like an hour? I've got a headache from the screen lol

sure i really have nothing else going on today

--

So it's later in the day, late afternoon light still streaking through Phil's window, when Phil sits back down at his computer and adds the Skype username Winnie gave him. His head still hurts a bit, but it isn't all-consuming now that he's had another coffee and some painkillers. The padded headphones feel good to put over his ears, blocking out most of the typical noises from such a full house and a busy street, and Phil just sits in the blissful quiet for a moment before he sends a voice call request.

It gets picked up almost immediately, and Phil presses a smile into his palm before he says, "Hi! Can you hear me alright?"

There's a beat. Phil waits, in case Skype is lagging as usual, but he's opening his mouth to repeat himself by the time he gets a response.

"Yeah," says Winnie. "I can hear you."

Phil isn't really proud of himself for being surprised by Winnie's voice. It's just. He knows his viewer demographics, okay, and he has a rough grasp on Tumblr demographics, and the name - alright. It isn't his proudest moment, is his point, because he's expecting a much higher pitch for absolutely no good reason.

In addition to that, his brain automatically tries to classify Winnie's voice as very obviously masculine, and Phil has to push back against that.

"I can hear you, too," Phil says cheerfully, not allowing his anxieties to spill over into the conversation.

"That's good, probably," Winnie says. There's another beat of silence, and then a huff that might be laughter or a sigh comes through Phil's headphones. "Sorry, I - I'm not trying to be fucking weird, this is just surreal."

"Is it?" Phil hums. "But I haven't even asked you about ghosts yet."

A snort - definitely laughter, this time - follows, and Phil is so glad that he's able to put Winnie at ease even if his brain is betraying him. "That's true. I guess it's gotta get weirder from here."

"That's kind of, like, the subtitle of my whole channel," says Phil. After a moment, he frowns. "Subtitle? No. What's the thing, on the poster -"

"Tagline," says Winnie. They sound so amused and warm and, okay, they've got a nice voice. That's not gendered. Phil can think that. "You're thinking of a tagline, you buffoon."

"Tagline," Phil echoes gratefully.

"Don't you," Winnie starts, then stops abruptly. They don't finish the sentence, but Phil can kind of guess what they were going to say. There's the sound of some rustling, like Winnie is getting comfortable, before they change tacks. "Again, I didn't see any of this alleged ghostly activity with my own eyes, but I know the hot goss."

Phil opens the recording program out of habit, nodding even though Winnie can't see him. "That's still really useful at this point," he says encouragingly. He clicks a couple of buttons. "And, yes, I do have an English degree. Thank you for not asking."

Winnie laughs, the sound of it filling Phil's headphones and making it feel like they're in the room with him. It's warm, like everything else about their voice, and absolutely contagious.

"I didn't want you to think I was, like, a big stalker," Winnie says, and Phil can hear the grin in their voice.

"Eh, I know you watch my videos," says Phil. "So I figure you know some stuff about me. You probably know that I'm going to ask this, too, but - is it okay if I record our conversation? I don't need to include it in the video if you don't want me to, but it's still useful for me if I don't so I can, like, actually remember the things you told me."

"Yeah, sure," Winnie agrees easily. They hesitate, for a moment, and Phil waits for whatever the caveat will be. "Uh, can I still swear?"

The question surprises Phil into laughing. "Yeah, you're fine. I can bleep them out."

"Then I am all for it. Ask me the ghost questions, ghost man."

Phil presses record and glances down at his notebook, where he's scrawled some disjointed questions alongside his usual doodling. "Uh, okay. Yes. I am totally a professional."

"If you say so, mate," says Winnie.

"Hush. Okay." Phil finally gets his brain back on track and taps his pen against a question near the end of his list. "So, Winnie, you did all this research into the Wilkins place on your own downtime, but you mentioned that you've been hearing murmurs about it for a while, right?"

"Not that long, actually, I've only been hearing about it since term started," Winnie says, and Phil is struck by how comfortable they suddenly are now that there's a guideline. Or, maybe, now that there's a non-Phil audience. "Which I thought was pretty weird, since I'd been there a couple times since I moved here, and it's a spooky fucking place but nothing to write home about."

That's more or less exactly how Phil feels about the situation, except that he doesn't remember the Wilkins place to be scary at all. Maybe it's gotten worse in the years since, or maybe he's just got a higher threshold for empty, decrepit homes than Winnie does. Either way, he's not sure if he should be relieved or suspicious that their thoughts on it mirror his own so well. He starts a spiral in the corner of his page as he considers the answer.

"So, you never got the impression that it was haunted before?"

"I - can I be perfectly honest?" Winnie asks, and then doesn't wait for a response. "I don't get the impression that it's haunted now. I dunno if people are just making shit up or if they're doing too many drugs, but we all know that ghosts don't actually exist."

Phil snorts. He does have a fairly large number of skeptics who watch his videos to argue in the comments about logical explanations for his findings or to just enjoy watching him fail so much, but he hadn't really expected that from someone who sent him a sourced essay on the topic of ghosts.

He's recording right now, so he's not about to give away the fact that, yeah, he kind of does agree with Winnie on this one. Instead, he keeps his tone neutral and says, "You don't believe in ghosts."

"I don't believe in most things that can't be explained by science," Winnie says, so matter-of-fact that Phil has to smile.

"I don't really believe in science," Phil says, mild.

A beat. "Excuse me?"

"I said I don't believe in science," Phil repeats, doubling down on the joke so he can hear that incredulous pitch of Winnie's nice voice again. "I mean, isn't it all just as made-up as anything else? People just tell us stuff exists and we have to believe them?"

"We believe them," Winnie says slowly, "because it's a fact."

"How do I know that?" Phil asks. He knows how off track he's already gotten, and he decides to cut this part out before he sends the file to Martyn or his friends.

"Because you can. See it. With your eyes." The genuine bewilderment in Winnie's voice is very funny. "Like. What the fuck, Phil. If someone drops an apple and it hits the ground and they're like, 'oh that's gravity', how are you supposed to say, 'uh, no it ain't'?"

Phil leans back in his chair a bit, his spiral turning into an apple. "Because, what if that's just what the apple wanted to do? It's not like we know any of this for sure, Winnie."

"You're fucking with me," Winnie says, but they don't sound very certain.

"I am," Phil admits happily. "Do you remember the first incident that kicked off the Wilkins place rumours?"

"You," Winnie says, and then cackles. They lean away from their mic as they do, but the sound of it still makes Phil feel some secondhand giddiness. He wonders if their laugh has a volume limit, or if it's just going to keep getting louder the funnier Phil is. He is so tempted to put that to the test. "Fuck. You little fucker."

Phil hides his own giggle in the palm of his hand and clears his throat, trying to get back into the professional mindset he'd forced himself to be in for the four earlier interviews.

"Do you need me to repeat the question?" Phil asks. He can't resist teasing, just a bit.

"No, fuck off," Winnie chuckles. They take a deep breath and let it out on a hum, low and thoughtful. "So, there was this shindig during fresher's, which I obviously didn't go to because I'm not a fresher and I'm too old to go to shindigs, but people were talking about how the house was making weird noises. A girl I know - I linked you to her Reddit post - said she saw someone just standing outside the window watching them, but, like, is that really a supernatural occurrence in Rusholme?"

"It's not. And she hit on me as well, so I'm not sure her judgement is trustworthy."

"Sounds like her. Sorry. Anyway, nobody really thought 'ghosts' as much as they thought 'rats in the walls and a pervert on the street', but then - this one didn't get spoken about online. I don't even know how valid it is."

"Word of mouth is how most ghost stories get passed," says Phil. "I'm not going to hold you to citations on rumours."

Winnie huffs a laugh. It's soft, quiet, and Phil almost wishes he could say something ridiculous to make them cackle again. Unfortunately, he has a job to do.

"Fair enough. Well, some idiots spent the night there to see if anything weird would happen," Winnie says, and Phil feels a bit attacked, "and three separate dudes had sleep paralysis."

Phil hums and jots some messy notes down. "In the same night?"

"At the same time," Winnie corrects him. "The other idiots were trying to wake them up for a long time, apparently. They're convinced that the guys who fell asleep were just pulling a prank on them, and maybe they were, but that's when the ball really got rolling."

Out of everything Phil has heard today, this is the most compelling story so far. Maybe that's a good indicator of the Manchester students being full of it - maybe there truly is nothing to find in the Wilkins place - but it piques Phil's interest anyway.

"For someone who only believes in cold, hard science, you're good at telling ghost stories," Phil says.

"Thanks," Winnie says, sounding pleased with themselves. "Learned from the best."

Phil is suddenly very, very glad that this isn't a video call, because he can't stop himself from smiling like an idiot. "Oh, is that what they're calling me?"

Another cackle. Phil doesn't remember the last time he made someone laugh so much without tripping over his own clown feet.

"I never said I was talking about you."

"Uh huh."

"Oh, shut up," says Winnie, and Phil can still hear the laughter in their voice. "Don't you have a bunch of questions to ask or something?"

Phil does. He has a whole list of questions that he should be following. He chews on his pen and looks at the doodle-covered list of things he's meant to ask Winnie. His head still hurts - maybe the extra caffeine didn't help after all - and all he really wants to do is take a nap.

"Yeah," Phil says, reluctant. "I've just got, like, a migraine. Can I call you back another time? This was a really great start."

"Oh, yeah, sure," says Winnie. They've dropped their voice down to something soft, like they're worried that they'll make Phil's headache worse.

"I'm actually going up to check the place out this weekend." Phil isn't sure what makes him say that. He meets up with sources in person, sometimes, but usually only if they've seen something with their own eyes. He just feels comfortable talking to Winnie, far more than he'd felt talking to the other students he'd interviewed today.

Phil doesn't actually extend the invitation, and Winnie either doesn't pick up the hint or doesn't care to.

"That'll be good," they say, still soft. "Get some rest, Phil, you can call me back when your brain stops trying to drill a hole through your temple."

After Phil says goodbye and hangs up, he sits at his desk for a long moment. It feels too quiet, all of a sudden, his padded headphones blocking out all the ambient noise around him. It's good for his head, but Phil is still weirdly disappointed.

[gaiahypothesims]

50 Questions for your Sim

I was tagged by TWO people but I can’t scroll back far enough to see who the second was!!! I’m so sorry! @ultroslovesyou Thanks for the tag that I CAN find.

Ash would LOVE to answer these himself. And its LONG because .... Ashley. (Its like... so long I’m embarrassed)

01. How old is your sim? Isn’t age subjective? I’m as wise as an elder, but youthful in looks as a young man in his absolute prime. 

02. When is your sim’s birthday? On the most perfect day. My Mother said the sun was shining and all the birds were singing. My newborn cries were met with tears of joy and happiness. 

03. What is your sim’s zodiac sign? This is a complicated question, as the Zodiac horoscopes you see popularly don’t take into account so many details. For one-... No I can’t answer this without explaining everything-

04. What is your sim’s ethnicity? I’m a child of the world. Fine, my parents are originally from India. Though I’ll have you know this kind of question is very narrow-minded.

05. Does your sim have any nicknames? Ash. That’s it. NO you may not ask my brother if I have any others.... or Evelyn... or Rosie. Just take my word for it.

06. Do they have a job? Travel Writer and a professional student in the teachings of the world. In fact, I do believe that being an avid learner in all things-

07. Where does your sim live? Its rude to interrupt someone every time they try to answer a question. AS I was saying, being an avid learner has taught me that there is no such thing as having a ‘job’. We have a responsibility to cultivate our PASSIONS. In that way you will never once be trapped by a ‘job’ or by one ‘place’, a box really, to call a home. 

08. Who does your sim live with? I’ve lived with so many different, unique, and beautiful individuals. I’ve been really helping my amazing friend Evelyn out. She’s very dependent on my mental fortitude. I don’t find it trying at all, though there are some days I do feel an imbalance in my Chi due to her constant bitching about my hair shedding. I tell her that just because she can SEE my hair better because its black doesn’t mean that she isn’t shedding as well. The OTHER day I found a long, thin, sad, brown hair in my soup, and I know for a fact that I have only the most luxurious raven black hair. 

09. What environment did your sim grow up in? (strict, loving, cold etc.) I have the most loving of parents. My brother on the other hand... well let’s just say he’s embraced Capitalistic conspiracy. 

10. What are your sim’s favourite food? I’ve found that the most healing and ethereal foods are what my body craves. Something like Lotus blossom water, I feel could sustain me for years. .. hmm?.. Oh no, I’d never TRY to live off of it. It is just water...

11. What is your sim’s favourite drink? I adore a good Oolong tea, I have an interesting story about how I was introduced to this-

12. If they have one what is your sim’s favourite color? Well that was rude, I wanted to explain the Oolong. Very well... moving on. How can one choose a favourite colour? The spectrum is SO vast. Can you believe that human eye can perceive approximately 10,000,000 colours? How can I choose a favourite?

13. Does your sim believe in any clichés? (love at first sight) Of course! There has to be a basis of truth if so many can relate to cliches. 

14. What is your sim’s sexuality? I would say that I do mostly enjoy the company of women sexually, but that’s not to say that I think men are unattractive. Sexuality isn’t a be all- end all. We are constantly learning new things about ourselves. I’ve recently discovered that I don’t mind a bit of anal play. I’ll tell you exactly how I discovered this, and it might surprise you-

15. What is your sim’s gender identity? How can you NOT want to learn more about my experience? It might change your life. I’m going to be writing about it for my next article. It has something to do with... a bath house.. and that’s ALL you’re going to get from me since you so rudely interrupted. Again.

16. Is your sim type a or type b? I don’t believe in types. Like asking me if I’m a square or a circle. I’m an entire sphere, unable to be bound to your strict typist ideals.

17. Is your sim introverted or extroverted? I would have to say that I am thoughtfully introverted. 

18. What is your sim’s favourite woohoo position? Oh so NOW you want to hear about my sexual exploits? Well its too late. I’ve been through the entire Kama Sutra, and NO that is not because I have Indian heritage, and it would have shocked you. 

19. Is your sim a pet person? If so what is their favourite animal? Not so much. I like Jonah’s dog actually. In fact he is likely more loyal to me now than he ever was to Jonah. An animal can sense things. 

20. Does your sim have a best friend? Rosie and Evelyn.

21. What is/was your sim’s favourite school subject? I quite enjoyed creative writing, which I think is why I turned to Travel Writing. The absolute best of both worlds. 

22. Is/was your sim a high, mid or low achiever in school? Every child has their own strengths and I find it unfair to measure one against the other when everyone is a unique learner. 

23. Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? If so, what would be or what was their major? I did go for a few years, but I never graduated with a degree. The classes that I took were all for my own interest, not to pander to organized academia for a worthless piece of paper.

24. What are your sim’s political beliefs? (if they have them) Politics are a construct to keep the individual from reaching their full potential. 

25. What is one thing your sim wants to do before they die? I’d like to share my travels with someone that I love, and that loves me back. 

26. Does your sim have a favourite TV show (cable) and/or movie? Watching television stunts a persons cultural and creative growth.

27. Is your sim a Netflix viewer? If so what are their top 3 shows. No.

28. Does your sim like books? Absolutely. I try to pick up a new book at every new location that I get to. I then leave my old book. Its a wonderful way to associate a certain story with a specific location. The feel and smell and tastes seem to stick better, for me, that way. 

29. Does your sim enjoy video games, if so what is their favourite one and do they play on PC or console? Well, I don’t love video games. But Evelyn owns one of those game systems, and sometimes we play together. Its purely for her therapeutic benefit that I join in.

30. What is your sim’s personal style? I wouldn’t dream of limiting myself to only one style.

31. Does your sim have a lucky charm? I make my own luck.

32. Is your sim religious? I’m an acolyte of all religions, including no religion.

33. What kind of music does your sim listen to and who is their favourite artist? There was a beggar woman in Romania that played the most beautiful violin. I gifted her talent with a hand-written poem. She didn’t seem to appreciate it, but I still remember her music.

34. Is your sim a festive person? If so what’s their favourite holiday? I love celebrating all the holidays, and festivals, as long as they aren’t attached to the shilling of Corporate greed. 

35. What is your sim’s favourite type of weather? All weather is beautiful and should be appreciated.

36. Does your sim prefer to start fights or finish them? I don’t prefer either.

37. Does your sim have a dream job? I am living my dream, doing something I love strictly for the passion of doing it.

38. Does your sim have any siblings? .... ugh.. one brother. Raj. 

39. Does your sim get along with their family? I love my parents very much. My mother is the most beautiful and loving woman, and my Father is generous and giving. 

40. What is your sim’s favourite hobby? Nothing, I don’t believe in hobbies. I believe in passion and doing. If you’re doing it and you love it, it isn’t a ‘hobby’ its a passionate endeavor. 

41. What does your sim look for in a romantic partner? I’m not very good at making things work with women. I’m not entirely sure why. It could be because I move so frequently. I have no schedule, no concept of time and plans. I suppose I’d love someone that also could be as flexible. 

42. What is a secret about your sim? I have no secrets, I’m an open book. <He’s extremely vain. His nonchalance is extremely cultivated>

43. What is a wish your sim has? To share my adventures with someone that loves me. 

44. What is a flaw your sim has? Is there really such a thing as flaws? Are we not like the kintsugi in Japanese pottery, “flaws” make us beautifully unique.

45. How do others generally perceive your sim? I would say that some are threatened by my complete oneness with the universe. They might see it as something else, arrogance... perhaps. Though if I could have a moment to explain it to them, they would understand and appreciate it.

46. Does your sim have a greatest achievement? Every achievement is a great one. For a person to get up in the morning, is an achievement. The will to say “yes! another.” and to make it through the day happily, unhappily, to have an adventure, to stay home and self-care, its what life is about. There is NO greatest achievement. Every action is great in itself, no matter how small.

47. If they have one, what is your sim’s greatest regret?  That I tried to follow in Rajan’s footsteps for too long. Instead of embracing who I really was. 

48. Does your sim have a favourite emoji? Emoji’s can’t properly convey all the feelings that I have. I feel that a wordy text, or a phone call is so much better. A long text is something the person can treasure over and over, but a phone call can contain so much more warmth and genuine conversation.

49. Does your sim use simstagram? <under his breath> Yes. 

50. What is the last text your sim sent (and who did they text)? Oh do I have to share? This isn’t exactly... fine.. its to Evelyn and it says: You’re a dirty tramp. <cough> ... I’m sure she’s treasuring the words right now, yes thank you. 

[imaginebeatles]

Hi ! I discovered your work with the short story "secret" - which really made me reflect on quite a lots of things about genders , and after with "true to you" , which also opened my mind on quite a lot of subject I never thought of ... The last story I read of your and chut-je-dors's writing is "ten minutes " (I thought I'd cry, I can't wait for next chapters) , and once more, you come up with the quite uncommon subject of sex workers (✌1)

cont. (idk if strip teaser is considered as a sex job ? I didn’t found other boxes to put both those jobs into ) , and both those stories really fight against prejudices, the fact that those persons are humans with rights, and that you can’t judge people’s work or life choices. It’s not very common (at least to me ) to meet (through your writing ) someone that open mind and comfortable with those subjects, is there anything that made you realise all of this or maybe your education ?  (✌2)

I absolutely love this question!! Thank you so much for asking it! Buckle up, this might be a long answer. 

If anyone’s interested in the issue of sex work, I love watching YouTube videos on a bunch of different political and philosophical issues and I would definitely recommend watching this video (x). It’s long but worth it. 

I think part of it is the fact that I’m Dutch (prostitution is legalized here) and grew up in quite an open-minded and progressive family. Subjects like sex work (I’m gonna count stripping as “sex work” here to make things simpler, but whether people define it as sex work differs from person to person, even among strippers themselves, so please forgive me if you don’t agree) weren’t taboo in my family and are often topics of discussion in our politics, so it’s something that people tend to have quite informed but different opinions on. Of course, stereotypes and prejudices exist here as well and in recent years, the whole debate around it has grown again with religious people being mainly against it, because they see sex work as inherently immoral. 

However, because religion doesn’t play as big of a role in Dutch politics as it does in the US for example, most of the debate around prostitution specifically (not counting stripping) is more about human trafficking and the role of women in society. Some people may be against prostitution because of the human (sex) trafficking that is a (small!) part of it, and because they believe that prostitution and sex work is dehumanizing towards women. So the debate is much more about the negative consequences of sex work than the inherent moral value of sex work (the religious group who is against it just on that basis is relatively small). 

Having been interested in politics and philosophical issues for most of my life, I gave this issue a lot of thought and actually did quite a bit of research on this, listening to different voices, especially those of the women and men (!) who are sex workers themselves, as well as people who have done research on this issue and are specialized in it. This very much included what I learned during my studies at university, because I learned a lot about how debates and politics works and was introduced to a lot of feminist thought as well as philosophies on capitalism and markets, which also includes sex work. At university, I also met people who did or used to do (or people who have friends who did) different kinds of sex work, so that way I learned about their motivations and why they wanted to do it, as well as what it was actually like (something you don’t often find information on that easily!). Knowing people who did it, made me more aware that they really are just people like you and me. You can’t know who is a sex worker just by looking at them on the street, and usually they are very smart and diverse of different ages, races, sexualities, and with different reasons for doing! Lots of students like doing sex work, because of the hours and the pay, or just because they genuinely like the work. 

For me, sex work was never immoral because you sell your body for “sex”. I don’t see a difference between selling your body for that or for any other kind of job, and I’ve always been very “do what you want to do and don’t care what other people think! If you want to make money doing sex work, go do it, i don’t care!.” (if you’re gonna say sex work is immoral because selling your body for sex is exploitation, I think you have to also agree that any work for money is exploitation and I would kinda agree on that at least, but then we’re dealing with the issue of capitalism and not sex work). 

As I learned more about it, this didn’t change for me. I don’t think sex work is inherently dehumanizing towards women or men, but just a job just like any other (these businesses are very strict in how clients treat the workers and the worker, be they a prostitute or a stripper, has all the power during the exchange and gets to decide what they do, when, with whom and how, and they often curate their own clients and because people know each other, words about bad clients travel fast!). The way sex work is portrayed, especially in movies, is very different from reality, and sex work itself includes a lot of other forms of labour, such as emotional labour. I learned about people with mental issues who have problems making connections with other people who prefer seeing prostitutes who know how to deal with those issues for sex instead of a partner, or people trying to find out about their sexuality, or what they like and don’t like sexually, or just people who feel like having sex but don’t want a relationship or a hookup! I learned about women looking for sex with prostitutes and who also like going to strip shows (and getting those service from men and women). 

On top of that, because prostitution is legalized in The Netherlands, there are a lot of rules that must be followed. These don’t often work and I’m still critical about the Dutch system in relation to protecting sex workers, but it’s better than when it’s completely criminalized, which would not only make work itself much more terrible and dangerous, but would also make sex trafficking even more difficult to fight. Businesses have worker agreements and back-up checks are done often to tackle human (sex) trafficking. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing and criminalization would only make it worse for everyone. For me, we have to protect sex workers (both women and men! people always forget about the men doing sex work) and make sure no one is being made to do any kind of work that is not safe for them for too little money that they do not want to do. That is exploitation (and can flow into actual slavery) and is wrong no matter what the job is. 

But yeah, the debate around sex work is a lot… mature (?)… here than it may be in other countries like the US, so you have more open-minded people and debates around the issue. I care a lot about issues like this and about human rights and fighting injustice and am all for protecting sex workers and decriminalizing it completely, so I like pushing boundaries in fics to help this a bit. Chut agrees with me on (most, if not all, of) this too, and when we started to write Ten Minutes, we decided to actually actively tackle these prejudices and give a (hopefully) less stereotypical portrayal of it. 

The same goes for other topics in my fics, like gender. For my studies I do a lot of research on queer studies and feminism and I find it all incredibly interesting and very important issues to tackle! I want to understand people and their experiences and find it important that there is more awareness and understanding. Although I’m not trans myself, I really wanted to write “Secret” when someone requested a mclennon fic where either one of them was trans, because I wanted to learn more about it myself and hopefully help both trans people by giving them this story (I know from experience how great it is to recognize yourself in stories and how much that can mean to you) and those who were less familiar with it or didn’t know much about it by talking about it so openly in a fic. 

Again, I did a lot of research on the experiences of trans people (especially trans boys, considering that’s where I was going for) on the internet and did my best. It was nerve-wrecking to post, because I really didn’t want to insult anyone by misrepresenting them, but I still get comments on that fic from people who love it exactly because they recognize themselves in it. That makes “Secret” my favourite fic I’ve written. 

So yeah, I think it’s mainly my liberal, progressive environment, as well as my own curiosity in political and philosophical issues, and my studies at university.  I’m so glad to hear that these fics changed your mind on certain issues, or at least had you looking at them in different ways. It’s what I want to do with my fics aside from just having fun and writing about stuff that interests me :) 

[goindanswingin]

Les Amis Webshows - Reviews!

So! There’s been a whole two new Amis webshows premiering this January! However, I’ve noticed not that many people are actually talking about them! New content, and we’re not yelling??

So, I’ve decided to give short reviews on their debut pilot episodes, as well as the first episodes of some other Les Amis webshows (I probably missed so many, feel free to add more if you know of them!) in order to maybe spread the word about some cool creators online as well as give y’all a lil more content to consume that isn’t just grim BBC Les Mis discourse atm

(I’ve reviewed them in the order they premiered)

1. Stories From Les Amies

This is a vlog story of the les amis with all the genders purposefully changed! Now this one has an awful lot of content to make up its plot, having premiered in 2013 and wrapped up with an HOUR LENGTH FILM at the end of 2014, so there’s a hell of a lot to digest here! The Enjolras behind this is actually also the author of TextingEnjolras/EnjolrasRising so the plot does bear some resemblance to that also! (Another piece of content I’d highly recommend if you’ve not read yet).

But, to keep it fair, I’m going to stick with just the pilot episode! It’s set up like a big group skype call with our amis introducing themselves, where we are first introduced to their personalities, mostly led by Enjolras although Combeferre acts a beautifully sarcastic arbiter. The video quality isn’t excellent, but surprisingly, the audio quality is pretty great (for every character except Marius), with almost no background noise or fuzz.

Enjolras: All of us make up a society that we call the Friends of the ABC

Enjolras: *awkwardly nods and grins*

Enjolras: Which is actually a pun, because... ABC pronounced together sounds like the word abaissés, which means “lowly” or “abased...

Enjolras: So... it’s... it’s a pun.

I know I’m only reviewing pilot episodes to keep it fair, but I will say yes, the quality of the series absolutely does improve over time, and I would highly recommend giving it a go if you’ve never seen it before! You can find the whole series here.

2. Official Les Amis Vlog

Premiering at almost exactly the same time as number 2 on this list, the Les Amis Vlog is similar in terms of quality but different in style. This is as it says - a vlog channel, with divided playlists for each character in the Amis. Every character uploaded vlogs between 2013 and 2015 introducing themselves, answering questions, and making content on certain themes. 

This one took me by surprise - I was very much underwhelmed by the camera quality and lack of plot, but once I started watching, I realised why the Les Amis vlog doesn’t have plot - it’s because instead of making up political issues and action, they actually discuss real politics - in the pilot episode, Enjolras actually talks about a real news article from Reuters and then goes on into an impassioned rant on public surveillance  - it’s kind of amazing.

Enjolras: I mean, you wanna hide your face for whatever reason? Well, congratulations! You’re now a potential t*rror*st for having stood in the way of the observational machine!

Obviously this one is much more about the characters than it is any sort of plot like we’ll see in some of our later series, but... these characters are by far some of the most convincing Les Amis I’ve seen! Particularly Enjolars - wow. So if that sounds like your kinda thing, check it out here!

3. Vines de l'ABC

A multimedia webseries that ran from 2016-2018, but mostly confined to Vines, this one in essence is similar to the Les Amis Vlog in that it is more character driven than plot driven - the different characters were all cast and then separately uploaded Vines (and occasionally YouTube videos) as well as answering questions to the main blog.

The first “episode” is, as common for these webseries, a video of our Enjolras introducing Les Amis and his character, then being interrupted by a phone call. The quality is webcam quality, the sound pretty fuzzy, but I do think Dorian here makes a great Enjolras... more on that shortly! Overall, the quality of this first episode isn’t super relevant to the rest of the series though, because as is obvious by the name, it’s mostly comprised of amusing little vines.

*Tik Tok by Ke$ha plays*

Enjolras: Hello? Did you change my ring tone again? ...Again? Well, I mean, I'm trying to do the video... No, I mean, I'm actually in the middle of doing the video right now, you're on camera... No, no I don't know how to edit it out... I mean, does he have a concussion, or..? *sighs* ...How did I know he had a concussion.

Obviously vine is dead, but everything is available here - if this sounds like your kind of thing, definitely go check it out! There is TONS of content for your consumption here.

4. Barricade Boys

Next up is a comedy/parody show from NyxRising, an already established group of YouTube cosplayers who’ve made lots of similar shows previously. This means, for a start, that the production quality here is some of the best you’ll see - great audio and video quality, basic but good set design, great costumes.

Now, let’s make it clear: if you’re looking for a brick accurate show, this is not the one for you. It’s a pretty ludicrous parody, with an unbelievably arsehole Enjolras with no notion of personal space, a Grantaire with weird sideburns and a crush so obvious it’s hilarious, a Marius so dumb he thinks he’s joining a “lonely hearts club” and a Courfeyrac so OOC that I don’t even know where to begin. 

But god damn, did this make me laugh out loud a good few times.

Enjolras: You do you, Grantaire. Nobody else will.

This one has a couple episodes out already, and I’d highly recommend if you want some laughs! You can find it here.

5. The Downtrodden

Aaaand... onto our January debuts! I’m super excited to give a review of the pilot episode of Shadow of the Tor’s “The Downtrodden”! 

One thing that stuck out to me immediately is that this might be the most diverse cast yet - we have multiple POC, and also a trans Enjolras - in both cases, there’s no self-congratulatory back-patting, but it’s made very clear and very casual, and it’s wonderful. Another point worth mentioning is that our Enjolras is the same Enjolras seen in Vines de l’ABC - and as I mentioned, I think Dorian is great at the role.

The Downtrodden seems to be going for an enjoyable line between plotty and humorous, and so far I’m super excited to see where they take it. The audio and video quality is outstanding, though the cafe background noises could do with being toned down just a tiny bit (as there are occasionally character lines in the background that are a little drowned out), but overall it’s by far the most professional looking alongside Barricade Boys (which had to contend with far less characters!). One comment I will make, though nitpicky, is that unlike Barricade Boys, which moves extremely swiftly through its jokes, The Downtrodden is edited just a pace too slow in one or two scenes, meaning the comic timing falls a little off and the jokes don’t quite get the reaction they really deserve.

Grantaire: You get free coffee refills here if you’re part of a student group. I gotta make that loan last.

Cosette: Do you consider yourself a politically motivated person?

R: I barely even consider myself a person.

C: Oh. Are you alright?

R: Is anyone?

Surprisingly, one of my favourite characters in the pilot episode was Marius! I often find he’s overplayed to death, but in this he appears a little dim but genuinely charming, and he got some of the best laughs out of me. I’d be interested to know how well all the jokes landed with someone who isn’t a Brit, however, since I’m super sold on all these characters being British uni students (student poverty aesthetic and Oxfam shopping bags, goddamn!), and also love Courfeyrac for the same reason - he seems like your typical friendly but laddish uni type, which works perfectly for his character. Also, I own that mug he has.

One of the strongest points, and a very common issue I have with Les Amis webshows (and the 2012 movie NOT GONNA LIE), is losing track of who is supposed to be who - I had no such problem with The Downtrodden - everyone is introduced naturally, gets at LEAST a line or two, and is beautifully acted - go check out the pilot here!

6. The Les Amis Webshow

The last one on our list - the Les Amis Webshow premiered on the last day of January!

First impressions of this webshow are: the most enticing hook yet straight from the beginning, and some of the worst sound quality.

After the introduction - structured as Marius speaking to us from the future - the pilot episode actually centers around a random film student coming up to Marius and asking if they can film him. Is this Cosette? Will we ever find out? Who knows, but for some reason Marius just takes it in his stride and lets this person follow him around, in what I can’t decide is a very weird move, or a very Marius move.

Jehan: Are you wearing your lanyard?

Marius: Yeah. Why? That’s what it’s for.

Jehan: (laughing) You simple little freshman!

Marius: *long pause*

Also Marius: We’re gonna get along great!

The editing is actually fun and a few shots seem to be going for something quite adventurous - I just wish the audio quality were better.

I like Enjolras so far - he seems very confident in himself and a little bit of a rich boy, and I’m really interested to see what they do with Marius, since this is the only webshow so far where Marius has been front and center instead of Enjolras - in that snippet at the start, he seems very anxious and weary - it’s very Empty Chairs at Empty Tables! Overall, this has the most “plot-y” vibe to its initial episode so far, and reminds me a lot of Stories from Les Amies, honestly. I’m very excited to see what they do with it, and am also euphoric at a REGULAR UPLOAD SCHEDULE unlike the other two which are currently running - Barricade Boys and The Downtrodden. Keep up with it every Thursday here!

Thank you so much to @starberry-cupcake for helping me compile this list!

highlight reel: @/SFLA who the fuck makes a feature length movie oh my god, the sheer levels of gay in BB, Marius’ super poshboy accent in TD (sorry if thats just how u speak Ethan), and best of all the German flag taking centre stage in tLAW - the european cynic in me is desperate to know why its there and hopes that you didn’t just mix up French and German flags lmao

[sattickate]

Heathers: The Television Pilot

So I watched the pilot for the Heathers show yesterday. It's not faithful to the original film at all. like it goes in a completely different direction - more SJW than maintaining the "status quo" like in the film, that said, I didn't hate it.

I won't be watching the rest of the series because it's not my thing. It's Heathers in concept only, not plot. It does make some references to the original (quoting famous lines, big fun is a chip brand, the new happiness posters, the original score), but it very much is a departure from the film. And it is for that reason that I can't place it on the same level as the film or even the musical. 

Though it's not outright terrible, it's not a cult classic from and set in the late 80s. This show may be "just" but it is so not "very".

(via my facebook page)

Naturally, I have a lot of opinions on Heathers, the television show. I say naturally because the film is my favourite movie of all-time. And, although I recorded a video commentary/analysis/comparison of the show in relation to the film and musical, I have no idea when I’ll get around to editing that or exactly how clear and concise my opinions will be.  So, going back to the medium at which I’m best, let me take the time to go into more detail about the show so far, my opinions on it in relation to the source material and the musical and how it would be as a stand-alone show. Future Katey coming to tell you that I did edit the video and here’s the link to watch it. 

Spoiler alert below the cut as I will be going into detail of the events of the entire pilot (as well as the film and music as a whole but if you haven’t seen those where have you been?). 

If you’d like a plot summary but don’t actually want to watch the episode.

TL;DR: below the cut, my analysis may be quite long so be prepared to read a lot.

Let’s just clarify some things right off the bat, the show is set in 2017/2018, not in 1988 as was the film (or in ‘89 like the musical). The slang has been updated to fit the time, for example, ‘very’ becomes ‘just’. References are made to the original film: big fun is now a brand of chips, there are “the New Happiness” posters hung on the walls of the school, some dialogue from the film is recycled or repurposed for the show, and (my favourite nod to the film) some of the original film score has been used (or slightly updated) for the show. [This last thing is a very minute detail, but I am such a sucker for the film’s score, so I appreciated that little touch.]

The opening is a bit graphic, to say the least.

Eight years prior to the main events of the episode, we are introduced to an adult woman in a red scrunchie. She has just doused her house in gasoline and lit the match when her husband and son come home. The father quickly runs into the house while the son stays in the car as the mother waves at him from her bedroom window then shoots herself from (under her chin/jaw) as her son is left watching the entire thing. It’s safe to assume the boy in the car is JD because, by the episode’s end, that assumption proves to be true.

So how similar is it to the film, really?

Not very. Not very at all. OK despite my ass clinging to the use of the word very for dear life now, the show honestly has very little to do with the source material. One could speculate that Shannen Doherty’s character (JD’s mother who commits suicide in the show’s cold open) might be someone from the original film and that’s how they could be linked. Otherwise, there’s not much similarity to the original beyond the basic concept and shared character names. And the references. There are loads of references to the source material - not so much to the musical - but you’d be hardpressed to forget this is a reboot with all the allusions to the original.

Why are the diverse characters the villains?

I have no fucking clue. In the narrative, it’s because people who are different are now popular. 

Heather Chandler (HC) is fat (or as the show calls it “body positive” as if to say fat is a bad word and only overweight people can be body positive) and she appears to be into a more blackmail centred version of social justice. And she’ll continue to blackmail people even after her “death” it seems - if the sneak peek at the end of the episode’s any indication. 

Heather Duke (HD) is our genderqueer character, and we see she/her pronouns being used (I can’t recall if other pronouns were also used for Duke). She basically copies HC in that blackmail approach to social justice and she’s secretly very envious of HC

Heather McNamara (HM) is our biracial Heather, she is also supposedly a lesbian, but we see her making out with one of her male teachers in the parking lot of Snappy’s Snack Shack. HD catches her in this act and claims that HM is not actually LGBTQ+ (sexuality is fluid though so maybe HM is another type of WLW. Though, by the way, this show is going HD seems correct in her assumption that HM is straight).

Outside of this narrative though it doesn’t make any sense. We could have gotten a POC Veronica and/or JD (who they seem to be making more of an antihero than outright psychopath), or they could have gender-bent JD and made Veronica WLW to provide diversity in a way that doesn’t villainise the diverse.

Trying to Flip the Script

As I said above, they seem to want to make JD more of an antihero than the psychopathic killer he was in the film. And I noticed this was something they tried to do in the musical too. They may not have gone as far as making him an anti-hero in the musical, but they were definitely trying to make him a more sympathetic character.

In the film, there’s this element of mystery to him. What was his past? When did he start killing? Was HC his first or was framing murders as suicides always his M.O.? The film alludes to his mother’s presumed suicide as the catalyst for his strange fascination with death but it never comes out an says it. Maybe I like that because it’s also left a little ambiguous to how JD’s mother died. We all know he said it was a suicide - “she walked into a building right before my dad blew it up.” - but was that the whole truth? Did she really decide to die in such a way? Was she lured into the building under false pretences (every time I watch the film, I’m very suspicious of JD’s dad, and I get the feeling that he may have murdered his wife)?

I suspect that if this show continues, and based on reviews, it’s not looking good, we’ll see more of that: how his mother died and why he is the way he is.

I also wonder how much of the other characters they plan to change. In the show, Veronica’s only label seems to be that she thinks of herself to be a “good person”. In the film, she was bored with where she was in the school’s social hierarchy. JD provided her with adventure that she wasn’t finding at school or with her friends. JD disrupted that status quo, and that’s what was so intriguing to her. In this show, though, the status quo has already been disrupted. The outsiders are insiders now.So what could JD possibly offer than changes her whole perspective?

Betty or Martha

Just as in the musical, it seems as though these two characters get combined. Unless they intend to introduce or make mention of Martha “dumptruck” Dunnstock later, it seems as though she’s been combined with Betty Finn.

As for Betty, she’s not the innocent one you loved from the film. This one seems to be quite envious of Veronica. She’s got a chip on her shoulder, and after HC’s not-really-death she delivers a eulogy on campus which seems to be setting her up as the next Heather - the new sheriff in town, as it were. Though HD and HM are fighting to claim the void that HC left as the school’s ruler, it seems by the next day, Betty would take it upon herself to claim this role. And I really don’t know how I feel about that.

In the film, Betty was Veronica’s past and a place she to which she longed to return. Betty was her life before the Heathers. And she longed for that simpler time. She was a pleasant reminder of what Veronica used to have and what she was trying to get back. Similarly, Martha was Veronica’s future. After dethroning HD, Veronica befriends Martha, and they plan to spend prom together watching movies and eating popcorn. The chaos is out of her life, and Martha offers her a chance of normality.

Having said that, my next question is, what will be Veronica’s relationship with HM? In the film, HM was the quietest of the Heathers and only really partook in events because the rest of the group was. After HD mocked her for her troubles [Poor Little Heather], she attempted suicide - which was quickly stopped by Veronica who spotted the signs. Their relationship grew in the film because of this event. There was genuine caring and support that Veronica had with HM that she didn’t have with the other Heathers and I wonder if that will ever be explored in the show. I would love to see Veronica being friends with HM and Martha in the show, if the show doesn’t die a quick death, because those were the relationships that were being created at the end of the film so we didn’t get the chance to explore them further. Veronica saw the pain these women were having and made an effort to befriend and help them after they had both attempted suicide. That is something that would be really cool to explore, but I doubt they ever will.

Wait, so Heather Chandler didn’t die?

She did not. The final moments of the episode flashback to earlier that day where HC wakes up in the morning after having smashed through her table and seemingly died the previous night. At first, she’s pissed and is prepared to make Veronica and JD’s lives a living hell, that is, until she checks her phone and realises just how much more popular she has become now that people believe her to be dead. 

And that’s where we leave things. We get a little sneak peek of episodes to come. HC will seemingly blackmail Veronica and JD to help bring about “justice” for her. Which appears to take the form of killing other students and framing them as suicides at HC’s request.

Final Thoughts

I think this could have been a really cool show had certain monikers not been attached. This show is both trying to pay homage to the film and be its own thing, and I feel like that could lead to its downfall. If the character had different names, this could be a really cool stand-alone show. The plot of the show will obviously have to deviate from the film to allow for multiple episodes, so it’s really only similar in a general concept and sporting characters with identical names to the film and musical.

Had this show been a looser adaptation/reboot or had it only been inspired by the film I could see it having a much longer life than it probably will. While I love the allusions to the film, this show is a drastic departure, and although I don’t hate it and could admire it as it’s owe thing (had the title been different and the characters’ names changed), I won’t be watching it any further.

If I’m a “stan” for anything, it would be the 1988 cult classic on which this show is based. But I just feel that the show is both trying really hard to be it’s own unique thing while also trying to be a love-letter to the film and I think that’s where it’s going to struggle.

[shoyoboops]

KIM TAEHYUNG’S NOT SO STRAIGHT TENDENCIES (a.k.a his gayest moments) PART 1

(I cannot provide media proof since that’ll take a lot of time, but if you observe Kim Taehyung, you’ll get what I’m saying. Also, my native tongue is not english so I’m gonna have to ask you to excuse my shortcomings lol)

Before anything, I’d like to say that I acknowledge that Kim Taehyung is definitely a beautifully unique person who has shown time and time again how a person can have so many different sides. I am aware that he is the embodiment of affection and appreciates physical contact BUT SOME THINGS BEYOND THIS ARE JUST HARD TO IGNORE.

1.      Muscle Kink

-This may be something the less observable fans may have overlooked. There have been several instances when our dear Taehyung had been a little bit too enthusiastic about feeling up other men’s biceps and abs. I have seen him many times, feeling up the other members, particularly Hoseok (in one of the latest Bon Voyage episodes), Seokjin (during their earlier days), Jimin (occasionally, I distinctly remember him feeling up Jimin’s abs) and Jungkook (on several different times, he even bit his biceps for fuck’s sake). Even Namjoon from time to time. And I’m certain that he had not only felt them up casually, if his lip bites were anything to go by. (BONUS: His whole reaction to that one shirtless crew member during one of the episodes in Bon Voyage S2?! He was definitely checking him out, look at the video I posted if you wanna know what I’m talking about)

-We all know he also has an affinity to being carried. I have never seen him show any negative reaction when being manhandled by his members. I expect that we all know his legendary moments when he purposely climbed onto other members’ backs for a piggy back ride or randomly clings onto them like a koala. I have seen videos from 2014 til today that can prove this. I remember that Seokjin tended to play around with him and carried him bridal style during their fansigns earlier back then. Also, he seemed very happy when Nate picked him up when they were saying goodbye during AHL. I’ve also seen him demand piggy back rides from Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook. Sure, he may have complained during a particular BTS Festa back then about Jungkook throwing him whenever he annoyed the maknae, but seriously? Why would he even bother Jungkook again and again if he knew the outcome was him being thrown around their dorm? The maknae even said that he’d repeat annoying him for about thirty times? Something doesn’t seem right there. (Also, while “complaining” I didn’t really see him be seriously troubled by it? I don’t know if it’s just me).

-Did you also see how he held back his smile and tried to hide his excitement when he got a piggy back ride from one of is Hwarang members during a photoshoot? Our Gucci boy literally had sparkles in his eyes. (Also in Hwarang, when Hyunsik just did the ‘dip’ with him? Y’know that that step in salsa. During one of their photoshoots/interviews, when his hyung finally finished his shoot, he went and bulldozed Tae off his feet. I didn’t see him complaining though, he even had a huge smile).

-When Seokjin got pissed at them (him and Jimin) during ISAC 2017 and he carried Taehyung towards where he threw his shoes, our little Taetae was giggly the whole time and was completely flustered when it ended. (Also with Seokjin, when they were promoting the Wings album, he suddenly clung onto him and let himself be carried just like old times).

-The legendary Taekook moment during their concert in Japan. I forgot where it was (Nagoya?). It was around 2016, if i’m not mistaken, when he got on Jungkook’s back during their “Attack  on Bangtan” performance. He clung to him like a life line and he was truly enjoying himself. (Bonus: when he also asked for a shoulder ride).

-Let’s not forget the instances when he just praised other members’ bodies. Like, saying “Rapmon-hyung has the best body” and “Jungkook has a nice body”. I’m sure there are a lot more, but I can’t remember.

2.      Girls

-Before anything else, I’m not ruling out any possibility of him being interested in the opposite gender (because girls are fucking hot, trust me), but he has not shown any genuine interest in them? I know that some of the fans would mention the Star King thing? The one where this girl was teaching them exercises. I honestly get annoyed when they make inappropriate jokes about this because there was nothing really sexual about it at all? I mean, yeah, he glanced from time to time but wouldn’t it be awkward and disrespectful to not look at an instructor? (Others may say “but what about his facial expression?” Bitch, what facial expression? All I saw was him trying to do the exercise and being in slight pain while doing so because he doesn’t exercise regularly for shit). You can also see that he was seriously trying to get the position right so he observed well (he even did that cute little wall exercise for couples with the other male mc).

-I also notice that in award shows, he doesn’t look particularly enthusiastic about girl group performances. Sure, he dances along to the catchy ones but unlike other people, he doesn’t really give that much attention to it? (I understand that it is disrespectful for them to stare, but I don’t think he feels the urge to do so, he can give sneaky glances but I don’t see him doing that. Just pure enjoyment and appreciation of music).

-During YamanTV (?) I’m not sure if the title is correct. One male MC suddenly felt the need to voice out his opinion about Taehyung’s looks. Out of the blue, he praised Taehyung for being very handsome (which made him shy), and then added “you must be very popular with girls” which stopped him momentarily from talking (he laughed at the comment), but then just continued talking like nothing happened.

-His general non-chalance about how girls could perceive his actions. There are a loooooooooooooot of instances like this. When he was MC-ing with this other female idol, and he just acted naturally goofy the whole time; when he added sound effects to his comments when BTS and Twice were being interviewed about their songs (he got shy at first like how most people would react but he got over it instantly and went to do aegyo while imitating the girl group’s song); when he literally twerked over the speaker during New Year(?) while the other members of Red Velvet stared at him like he’s a madman during an award show; AND his shameless flirting with his members during award shows, while in the presence of female groups e.g. Taejin being playful at MAMA and TAEKOOK goofing off during Golden Disk Awards while girl group members were literally behind them).

 3.      Spontaneous moments

-I think he is generally a spontaneous person and gaddamit, he does some pretty questionable things when his bout of craziness comes around:

-When he kissed Jungkook’s ears during one of the Festas, I literally just stared for a few seconds because WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? (That’s how not you get voted as the favourite hyung).

-Seokjin’s graduation where he swiped some cake from Jin’s lips with his thumb and literally sucked it, then smirking immediately after. (JESUS CHRIST)    

-In their earlier days when he grabbed the back of Seokjin’s head and pulled him in until they were nose to nose (in an AIRPORT WTF).

-Randomly acknowledging another man’s attractiveness. He would praise Hoseok from time to time, saying he’s the most handsome; suddenly saying that Jungkook is sexy during bon voyage season 1 AND (this one took me by surprise) When they were in one interview with the Hwarang cast and they were watching some memorable scenes, Tae said “You’re so handsome” out of the blue when he saw Hyungsik’s character THEN he proceeded to be flustered and looked like he didn’t have the intention to say it out loud like that. He said it with a somewhat exasperated tone that fangirls have when they come to admire their male crushes. He was so shocked that he voiced it out and became silent afterwards.

-Playing with male idols’ ears. This has somewhat become an endearing move when it comes to Taekook since he does it to the maknae all the time, BUT we should also take note that he does it to male idols who catch his interest (?) Bogum and Sungjae eventually became his friends, right? AND SPEAKING OF BOGUM. No, I’m not gonna talk about their Jeju date since straight men can also have “platonic dates”. Admittedly, it was very cute though. I am, however, gonna point out about Tae’s fixation on him. I have seen Tae interact with several idols and, for me, none of them had caught Tae’s interest as much as Bogum did. When he first saw him MC-ing during an award show, he immediately played with his ears and sent several glances in his direction the whole time. (Not to mention he barely even looked at Irene, who was also MC-ing with Bogum even though she was the one talking). It was also said that he approached Bogum first backstage and asked for his contact. Then when he was asked during celebrity bromance, he said that he contacted Bogum every day. Also, out of all his friends idol friends outside Bangtan, he only ever bothered to set up pre-planned dates with Bogum. You know what? I’ll talk about the Jeju thing anyway. Why would he choose to spend the day immediately after a tiring concert, to immediately fly to Jeju with him during one of their rare rest days? (I’m not implying that they’re dating, what I’m saying is that there is definitely an attraction that comes with that much effort, BONUS: have you heard of the Korean reddit user who said Bogum bought him a drink when he was in PULSE (a gay bar) and stated that Bogum had a super famous person with him that night and they left together?). Having said that, he may find comfort in hanging out with people who…share his sentiments.  

-Finally, the randomest shit he’s ever done this month. Sit on Jeon Jeongguk’s lap. Come on, you’re lying of you say that that didn’t surprise you at least a little bit. (BONUS they were both so GENUINELY flustered when it happened, it kinda looked like it felt awkward for the other members).

NOTE: This is part 1 and I basically put all the light stuff here. The heavy stuff is for the part 2. So, I’m sorry if you think this was a waste of time, but I think part 2 is where the serious stuff is at. I’ll be mentioning there his relationship with members, some BigHit stuff (Stigma and the like) and a little about his background

AGAIN: I AM NOT STATING THAT HE IS GAY. He may be perfectly straight and is actually just a very VERY touchy person BUT please respect my opinion and I will respect yours. I WILL LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT HE IS AND NO MATTER WHO HE LOVES SOOOO…UNTIL THEN :)

[viscountessevie]

Where Are They Now? Eady’s Elite Edition: Kile

The Elite: Henri | Hale & Ean | Fox | Gunner

Kile

Kile and Alice’s story was the most simple yet tragic out of all Eady’s Elite. They had met during Kile’s banishment in Bonita. They also started off on the wrong foot. Well, for one, Kile thought Alice was a boy the first time they met.

***

“Hey man!” Kile clapped his Head Engineer’s back after Julian Henry had directed him to his boss. Julian was an old friend from Eady’s Selection. He was the candidate from Bonita and also the boss’ cousin. Kile decided to get friendly. Unfortunately for him, he misgendered her. She turned to him slowly, taking off her cap to reveal long thick dark hair and glared at him. She had icy blue eyes instead of Eady’s sharp brown ones. The two ladies looked scarily similar with their dark, all year round tan and the fire in their eyes. Engineer Lewis had softer features, in contrast to Eady’s sharp ones, Kile noticed.

“Excuse me? Do I look like a man to you?” She growled. Alice Lenore Lewis had dealt with this kind of men long enough. She was sick of it.

“I just thought –“ Kile gulped, he couldn’t think of any way to make this situation better. “Thought what? That a girl couldn’t do this job because it’s ‘a man’s job’?” She pointed a crowbar at him, “Well Mister, I am very capable at my job! If you are going to question that, you can leave right now.” She stormed off, her long hair whipped in the wind and hit her cousin, Julian in the face. Kile laughed once, Alice was out of earshot.

“You deserved that.” Kile voiced to Julian, “A warning about your cousin would have been nice.” One glance at Julian’s mischievous expression and Kile knew he had been set up. He lightly shoved Julian.

“She’s funny when she gets riled up.” Julian admitted sheepishly. Kile shook his head at Julian, disappointed in him. “Her anger is not your entertainment. We should go apologise.” Kile saw the panic in Julian’s eyes and grabbed him before he could make a run for it. “Do you know what my Ma will do when she finds out I’ve been messing with Lenore again?” “You really should have thought this through then.”

Julian kept cursing the entire time on the way to Alice’s office. He even struggled against Kile’s hold a couple of times. Kile was as strong as his father. Training occasionally with the guards came in handy. When they reached Alice’s office, Kile practically threw him in.

“Hey Lenore, Julian has some explaining to do, afterwhich I would like to speak with you privately.” “My name isn’t Lenore.” She said menacingly, “It’s Julian’s stupid nickname for me, it’s Alice and noted.” As he closed the door, he caught a bit of their conversation.

***

“What the hell did you do now, Jules?” Alice was already tired of sexist men in the workforce but her cousin was a whole other level of exhausting. He gave his usual sheepish laugh. He was always a deer caught in the headlights.

“I may or may not have set up Kile to think you were a boy…” Alice rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and let out a frustrated sigh.

“You made me look like a bitch!” “You are a bitch, though.” “YES! But that’s not the point, Julian! God, what am I going to do with you?” She then grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out to where Kile was waiting to have a word with her.

“OW LENORE! Not my ears, they are my best feature.” Julian whined. Both Kile and Alice rolled their eyes at the same time and shared a smile at the gesture. She let go of him and he stumbled for a while.

“You both are horrible people.” Julian spat. Alice just raised a single eyebrow. Like she hadn’t heard that one before.

“I believe you owe Kile an apology, Jules.” She said sternly. Julian huffed and mumbled an apology. “I can’t hear you, Jules.” At that Kile lost it and burst out laughing. “She calls you Jules. It’s funny, man.” He offered an explanation when Julian glared at him. To get away from Kile’s laughing and Alice’s pressure, Julian yells an apology and goes off. The former two were taken back but Alice quickly brushes it off since this was a regular occurrence with her cousin.

She gestures for Kile to follow her into her office. She poured herself some coffee, the Lord knows she needed it after that whole fiasco with Julian. She poured some for Kile and turned to pass him one. What she didn’t notice was that Kile was standing right behind her and the coffee cups crashed into him, spilling all of its contents on him.

“Shit.” Alice was efficient, she quickly discarded the cups and took paper towels and started wiping his overall. “I’m so sorry!” She apologised profusely. Kile smiled down at her. She was much more pleasant when she wasn’t yelling or glaring at him. “I don’t think it’s going to come off. It’s okay, we are even now.”

She looked up at him, trying to figure him out. Alice has had dysfunctional men in her life, her father was a drunk and ran out on her family, Julian was… well Julian and her ex-boyfriend Luc was no better. She laughed remembering her reaction to him breaking with her. Kile was surprised at her laugh that he stumbled back and fell into the trashcan. Alice couldn’t help herself and started laughing. She went to help him up.

“Sorry for startling you, I was thinking of how I threw a pipe at my ex-boyfriend when he broke up with me after cheating on me…TMI sorry.” She waved her hand, to disregard the subject and rummaged through her cabinet for Julian’s old clothes that Kile could wear.

When she handed him the clothes, their hand brushed ever so slightly and they both feel a spark. Cheesy as it was, that was how their love story began.

***

“Sarah, I’m home!” Alice called out to her sister. “Go wash up before you touch me.” Alice rolled her eyes at her OCD-ic sister. While washing up, Alice yelled across their apartment about the day she had.

“So I met a pretty boy today. He questioned my gender and I flew off the handles as usual.”

“Typical you.” Sarah called back. By then Alice had done washing up and went over to her sister for an inspection. Otherwise the younger Lewis sister would never let her be near her. “You’re clean.” They settled on their couch and Alice recounted her story.

“So basically it was Jules’ fault and Kile’s really cute.”

“His name’s Kile?” Sarah questioned suspiciously. Alice nodded and all the questions came raining down on her. “Is he blonde? Blue eyes? Is his last name Woodwork?” “Yes, yes…I’m not sure. Why all the questions, S?”

Sarah shook her head, disappointed at her older sister. “You can be such an idiot sometimes, sis.” Sarah went to their DVD cabinet and pulled out the recording of Princess Eadlyn’s Selection from a year ago. The video starts playing and Alice spots a familiar head of blonde hair and her cousin’s dark hair and signature green shirt. She gasped and pointed at the two of them.

“Kile was in the Selection? Jules too? Is there where he went for a while?” She was genuinely surprised. “Al, this is what you get for burying your head in a book all the time.” “They aren’t just books –“ Sarah cuts her off with an eye roll.

“My point is, can you set me up with Kile Woodwork? He’s my favourite.” Alice immediately scoffs and protests. She lists all the reasons why Kile and Sarah can’t date. He’s too old for her, it would be awkward for him to work for Alice if he was dating her little sister and she kept this reason to herself but Alice liked Kile.

Meanwhile, in Kile’s temporary apartment, he was thinking the same of Alice. The mean way her eyebrows furrowed when she frowned at him the first time when he called her ‘man’. The gentle curl of her smile when she smiled at him when they were both annoyed with Julian.

They don’t know how but they fell in love with each other within a day. They didn’t come to terms with it until they were given a push.

***

Their push came in the form of Julian and Sarah.

Months into Kile’s banishment and their meeting, Kile and Alice were making it all too obvious that they fancied each other but never had the courage to tell each other. This was due to two reasons. 1) They were oblivious to each other’s affections and thought it was one sided and 2) Kile was intimidated by the fact that she threw a pipe at her ex-boyfriend, he couldn’t imagine what she’d do to him if she didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Alice was scared off by the fact that he was literally the Queen’s ex-boyfriend. She watched the whole of their Selection. Alice has seen how Queen Eadlyn looked at Kile before she realised she loved the translator, Eikko. Who could ever live up to the Queen of Illéa? The thought of not being good enough for him scared Alice away completely.

Sarah figured it out when Alice refused to take her to the construction site to meet Kile. Julian put two and two when he noticed Kile’s faint blushed whenever he was around Alice. He was even worse when he had to talk to Alice. Kile was usually a well-put together guy but around Alice, he became a babbling idiot.

The ironic thing was that everyone noticed what was happening to them before they themselves even knew.

The opportunity for Julian and Sarah to give the inevitable couple their push arose during Alice’s birthday. Since it was so close to Christmas, the sneaky pair of cousin set it up to be a Christmas themed party. They hung up mistletoes everywhere so that it would be impossible for Kile and Alice not to kiss. They prepared lots of eggnog with extra alcohol for Alice because the only way to loosen up the uptight Latina was get some drinks in her.

Invitations were sent out and to make it even more fun, Julian encouraged everyone to make bets as to how and when Kile and Alice – or Kalice  as everyone called them now – would end up together. All bets had been place before Sarah caught him. That didn’t stop her from giving him a tongue lashing.

***

A week later, the party was set up at the office because you’d have to be crazy to pry Alice Lenore Lewis away from her work. Even though, it was a ‘surprise party’, Alice knew Sarah would pull a stunt on her like this, she learnt from the last time. So this year, Alice wore something prettier than her usual overalls. She slowly walked into the conference room and as always, everyone jumped out from their hiding positions and yelled ‘Surprise!’

As per routine, she faked a smile as she greeted everyone in the room. She just could never enjoy her birthday because it was the day her dad left. She also hated spending time leisurely when she could be working. With every minute that passed, she just became more grumpy. Then Kile came to her side and she instantly lit up and forgot about work. It was all too evident on her face and everyone gave a little ‘awwh’. Alice just looked at them confused.

Then both of them were pushed against each other and Julian yelled,

“MISTLETOE! You two know what to do.” Both of them mirrored each other by widening their eyes. Kile leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” She melted right there. He was such a gentleman. She pulled back a little and gave him a smirk before murmuring, “Well, if it’s a show they want, we’ll give them one.” She put her hand at the back of his neck and pulled him to her.

‘His lips felt soft,’ were Alice’s first thoughts. ‘She’s a great kisser.’ Kile was in awe.

Julian and Sarah’s plan worked, in an instant Kalice’s feelings were magnified. Then the illusion was shattered when Alice came to her sense. What the hell was she doing? She can’t like him! He’s Kile Woodwork, he probably has relationships on a pedestal after dating the Queen. She pulled back sharply and ran out of the conference room. She wanted to lock herself up in her office but they’d knew they would find her. She hailed down a cab and started to get in when Kile came out shouting for her.

Crap, she thought. She was going to have to end up facing the music anyways, why not now. She apologised to the cabbie and turned to face Kile. She kept her head down, terrified to look at him.

“Has anyone told you that you look gorgeous in red?” She still stared down, examining a loose thread. She picked at it. It was a stupid dress. A red version of a ‘little black dress’. She finally tilted her head up to face him. “If you came to comment on my dress, I suggest you go work for your friend Hale and don’t waste my time.” She stated coldly. This has always been her defense mechanism, pushing them away until they leave.

Kile Woodwork wasn’t one to give up. He stepped forward and cupped her face.

“Must you always be mean?” “I am not –“ She starts to protest when the expression on his face tells her that he knows she’s lying to herself. Her eyes started to well up, thinking about her father and Luc and how they hurt her. She was tired of being hurt.

Kile kissed her once again and she let him. In that moment, all her worries about being hurt and work all disappeared. How did he do that? Manage to completely sweep her off her feet and distract her.

“Tell me you didn’t feel anything and I’ll leave you alone.” “I’m scared.” She whispered, finally deciding to tell him the truth. “What are you scared of, Alice?” He asked softly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I’m scared of being hurt. I like you so much, it terrifies me. I mean the Queen of our country is your ex-girlfriend. Do you know much I have to live up to?”

Kile laughed at her confession. It wasn’t a pretty polite laugh either. It was knee-slapping, tear jerking kind of laugh. “Yes, please find the time to laugh at my insecurities.” She barked. Immediately he stopped but still had a goofy smile on his face.

“Oh please, Eady is just my best friend. If we loooved each other so much as you claim, why am I here?” The question caught Alice off guard. Why was he here? While watching their Selection, she was so sure Kile was going to win.

“I don’t know.” She admitted sheepishly. “It’s so that I could meet you.” He said seriously and it took her a moment before she began to laugh out loud. “Oh my god that was horrible. Which movie did you get it from?” He gave her smirk.

“Yeah, you’re right. That was cheesy. If I was meant to be Prince Consort, I would have been. But that’s not the life for me. I’ve always wanted to get out of the Palace and Eady knew that so she sent me off. Then I met you, you make me feel like The Selection didn’t even happen. I know we’ve only known each other for a few months but by Gregory, Alice. Falling in love with you has been a whole another wonderful experience.” Alice pressed her lips into the tiniest smile to prevent herself from exploding in a huge ‘Awh’.

“You know, you could have just asked me out like a normal person.” She teased, nonchalantly. He rolled his eyes and pulled her close.

“Well, what can we say? You’re a special girl, Alice.” They walked back to the party, with interlaced hands.

***

Here they were. One year later. Kile’s banishment was over. His mother was dying to have been back. He really had to go this time. Alice and him had six blissful months together. They were now on their last date before he goes back to Angeles. Alice laid her head on Kile’s lap as they recounted everything that happened over the six months.

Their First Date. Sarah thought it would be fun to go ice-skating and dragged Julian and the couple along. She thought it would be a romantic first date where Kile would catch her when she falls. In theory it works but their ice-skating outing ended in snowball fights and finding out Kile’s middle name which no one knew until now.

Kile had stuffed snow down her coat and Alice was pissed. She rolled up the biggest snowball her tiny hands could muster and ran around trying to catch Kile in close range to hit him.

“COME BACK HERE, KILE WHATEVER-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME-IS WOODWORK! This means war!!” He was laughing so hard, he knocked himself over and Alice got her victory snowball in his face.

“It’s Maxon by the way.” He said casually as they were drying themselves off. Alice quirked an eyebrow. “What’s the King?” “Not the King. My middle name is Maxon.” He rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed as he recounted the equally embarrassing reason behind the middle name.

“Uncle Maxon saved Mom and Dad’s lives and so Mom being Mom insisted that I was somehow named after him so there went my middle name.”

“I still find it hard to believe that the King is your 'Uncle Maxon’.”

*

Then there was the 'Meet The Parents’ on Alice’s side. Her family really just consisted of Julian and Sarah since her father ran out on her and her mother died a few years after that. To make it all the more dramatic, Julian and Sarah dressed up to look like old rich parents. Julian exaggerated his voice as he took Kile’s hand in a firm handshake.

“So what are your intentions with my daughter, young man?” “Ohmygod, Julian! You’re embarrassing me!” Alice intervened before Kile could even think of giving a serious answer. “That’s the whole point of parents, sis.” Sarah laughed and they enjoyed the rest of their dinner peaceful.

Well…until Julian thought it would be a good idea to balance an egg on his nose.

*

The Actual Meet The Parents with Marlee and Carter Woodwork. Kile created a video calling software on his laptop and his parents’ when he left for Bonita so that he could call them anytime any of them missed the other. Four months in, Kile decided to introduce Alice to his parents.

It was safe to say that it did not go too well.

“A girlfriend?!” Ms. Marlee made it all too clear she wasn’t happy with Kile having a girlfriend. “Yes…is that okay with you?” Alice said unsurely. She had heard all about Mama Woodwork and how she freaked out about Kile’s banishment. She gave Queen Eadlyn quite the tongue lashing for sending her precious son away.

“If you are going to tie him down there, then absolutely not!” At least she was honest, Alice thought. She smiled serenely at her. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Woodwork. It’s not long term. He’s leaving in three months.” She seemed delighted at this while Kile just stared at his girlfriend with a frown, trying to figure her out. He gruffly said goodbye to his parents and slammed his laptop.

This led to Their First Fight.

“It’s not long term? What the hell, Alice?!” was the first thing he yelled. She glared at him.

“Don’t yell at me. Did you see the relief on her face when she realised I wasn’t going to keep you here. Your mother loves you, Kile. Yes, she might be a bit too overbearing but at least you have a mother.”

Both of their eyes flashed. They knew that last line was a touchy subject. Kile immediately tried to calm himself down. Even though he was still upset, he opened his arms wide for her to step into them. She silently obliged and hugged him back.

“I’m sorry for yelling.”

“You’re forgiven and I shouldn’t have ambushed you like that. We never really did talk about what is going to happen after your banishment has been lifted…” He sighed, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“I don’t want to be sad anymore. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

***

Here they were. Contemplating how to cross the bridge.

“I say we burn it!” Alice laughed manically when Kile brought up the fact that they were indeed at their crossroads bridge. He rolled his eyes and ruffled her hair.

“Very funny, Alice. Come back to Angeles with me?” He suggested. She parted her lips in shock. For once she was at a loss for words and she was the writer. She gave a little sigh, remembering that special dinner with Kile. This was her attempt to remain looking back in their own little world.

*

The Dinner.

When she emerged out of the room in her gorgeous red gown, Kile’s jaw dropped. Quite literally. It was their three-month anniversary and they wanted to do something special. So Sarah forced Alice into that dress. All throughout dinner, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. This was the first time Kile realised and entertained the idea of falling in love again. They were comfortable around each other but haven’t gone as far as to say those three little words. So he decided to test the waters and gave Alice a sort of initiation to get through. He already liked that they had the housing unit in common.

“If you weren’t an engineer, what would you be?”

“A writer.” When she saw the surprise on his face that she replied so quickly, she proceeded to elaborate, “I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but my parents didn’t think it was a stable career so they made me take up engineering and here I am. I still do write from time to time but not as much as I used to or would like to.” Her eyes lowered sadly at that last bit.

So they went back and forth like that. Kile talked about how his mother’s overbearingness almost stopped him from pursuing the housing unit project. Alice asked of his thoughts on settling down and he shared that he’d like to travel the world for a bit before settling down to start a family. This was when Alice became excited because she felt the same way and they discussed of the places they’d visit.

Little did Kile know that Alice was performing her own initiation through this conversation as much as he was. Sarah had been their Cupid, silently working behind the scenes. She had given each of them, hints as to what to get the other. Kile pulled out her perfectly wrapped present while Alice’s one for him was messily taped all over the place.

“Wrapping presents is not exactly my best suit.” She admitted, sheepishly. He smiled, his lips quirked up a little. It amused him endlessly that Alice was so adorable sometimes.

“Nobody’s perfect. Could you open mine first?” He requested. She nodded and was careful to unwrap it. Sarah may have been the sister with OCD, but when it came to unwrapping presents, Alice was just as bad.

“Al, we aren’t getting any younger here.” She huffed and quickly stripped her present off the wrapping paper. She gasped, with tears in her eyes. “Sarah told me you’d like a notebook. I think you should get back into writing, Al.” She ran over to him and threw her arms around him.

“I love it! Kile, this is amazing!” She kissed him all over the face and hugged the notebooks to her chest. He got her three of them, all with velvet covers and a special quote printed on them. He also sweetened the deal by getting her a stationary set to go with it. He laughed at her joy and kissed her before pulling up her chair next to him. Being across the table was just too far away from each other. Alice watched excitedly as he ripped the wrapping paper off her present to him. She slightly cringed at his method of unwrapping. Her joy of him getting his present overruled that.

He gasped when the book underneath the wrapping paper was revealed. He choked up a little. He understood the thought she put into this.

“Alice, I can’t take this. It’s your favourite first edition.”

“Well I want you to. You know I’ve told you that I would give this to the person who matter the most. I’m giving you a piece of my heart, Kile Woodwork.” She had given him her favourite book and she knew all Kile ever wanted was to get out of the Palace. So when their 3-month anniversary came around, she had no idea to get him. He didn’t need anything else and he was a hard person to get a gift for. So she opted to give him the precious part of herself.

No words could ever describe how elated the couple felt with their gifts and how their counterpart loved the gifts given. Nothing could hurt them in the moment.

*

Alice sat up abruptly, with that memory fresh in mind. Kile was startled. She moved her head to face him ever so slightly. She gave him a demure smile. It said everything but he wanted to hear it from her lips. He nodded, prompting her.

“Yes, Kile Woodwork. I’ll move to Angeles with you.”

***

Alice was nervous. A month ago, she along with Julian and Sarah had moved to a small apartment near the Palace in Angeles. Today, she was going to meet Kile’s family. That didn’t just include his parents and sister. The Royal Family were involved. Alice’s heart was beating so far, she feared it would run out of heartbeats and she would just drop dead.

“Al, relax. It’s just my family. They won’t bite.” Kile rubbed her back comfortingly. She gave a snort.

“Just your family, my ass. The Schreaves are our sovereigns. I’m just a commoner to them, oh dear lord. What if I mess up horribly and am banished? Queen Eadlyn did banish you for near nothing!” Her boyfriend chuckled and she slapped lightly across his chest.

“Not funny, Woodwork!” “If it makes you feel better, I invited Sarah and Julian.” Her eyes widened in panic when he mentioned Julian. “Julian Henry?? Do you want us to be embarrassed?” Kile could only shake his head at her. “He’s been Palace groomed before, remember?” “Oh…” Suddenly Alice felt very inadequate for the Palace. Kile sensed this and hugged her close.

“You can just pretend that its just the two of us. Just us, having our normal dinner.” “Yeah, with the Royal Family as an audience.” “They aren’t that scary, you’ll see.” He pulled her into the dining room. They weren’t the only couple there. Kile and Alice did not recognize them, mostly since they were making out. Until Kile caught a flash of familiar blonde hair.

“JOSIE?!” His sister pulled back sharply, accidently biting on her boyfriend’s lip.

“OW!” Kaden cried. “Shit!” Alice found this all too amusing and started laughing until she saw Kaden. She immediately dropped her stance into a curtsey.

“Your Highness, I apologise.” Now this made Kaden giggle.

“Oh please, I’m just Kaden to you. You are Alice, right?” She nodded slowly, not comprehending how he knew her. Her explanation came in the form of a shrieking future sister-in-law.

“YOU MUST BE ALICE! I’ve been dying to meet you! Kile would never tell us about you, it’s almost like he was keeping you all to himself.” Josie practically ambushed her and both girls fell into the floor because Alice didn’t gauge how well she could catch Josie. As if to sweeten the deal, Queen America and King Maxon came in. She noticed that she walked forward and the King trailed behind her happily. This was a different dynamic from what she’s seen on the screen.

The King and Queen stared down at her quizzically. She immediately stood up and helped up Josie before falling into another curtsey. “Your Majesties.” Queen America gave a little giggle before turning to Kile, “You were right, Kile. She’s absolutely adorable.”

Did the former Queen of Illéa just call her adorable?

They all took their seats as Mr. and Mrs. Woodwork came in. Marlee seemed more happy with Alice now that they were both actually in Angeles. Now everyone was here…except Queen Eadlyn and Prince Consort Eikko. The one person Alice was dreading to meet.

“I apologise for my daughter and her husband’s tardiness, I think they wouldn’t mind if we started without them.” King Maxon announced just as Queen Eadlyn threw the doors to the dining room open and ran in. She seemed to be panting and her dress and hair were slightly crumpled. Prince Consort Eikko trailed behind her with a smug expression.

“Sorry I’m late! I was doing stuff…” She walked to the head of the table as the Prince Consort giggled something to himself in a foreign language. Kile caught its meaning and gave a small laugh. He leaned towards his girlfriend and whispered,

“So remember how I picked up Finnish because of Henri and Eikko? He just said ‘I’m stuff’.” Without realizing, Alice bellowed in laughter. Everyone stared at her, confused.

“Oh um… excuse me. I just think that Prince Consort Eikko is hilarious.” Kile and Alice simultaneous turn to him and he winked at them.

He actually winked at them and that set off another laugh from Alice.

***

Overall she had a grand time with Kile’s big family. Queen Eadlyn wasn’t as intimidating as Alice pictured her to be. Josie was a sweetheart and by the end of the night, Eikko and Alice were best friends.

This was over two years ago. Now, after three years of dating, Kile and Alice were married. Alice just went through an intensive 14 hours of labour.

Warren Owen Woodwork was brought into the world.

Everyone was flocking to see the latest addition to Woodworks. Alice, of course was the first one to see her little man. She cooed at him.

“Who’s my little man? You are!” Then Alice gently placed little Warren in his father’s hands. “Oh my god, Alice. He’s beautiful.” She smiled sleepily. “We made him.” She yawned and was knocked out. Understandable considering the last 14 hours.

“No, Josie! I’m the Queen of Illéa and his best friend. I get to see the baby first!” Kile could hear Eady before he saw her. He stood there, watching the door in amusement as Josie and Eady wrestled to get to the baby first.

“I’m his sister! And possibly the Godmother!” They both came to a halt when they saw both little Warren and Alice were sleeping. They immediately shushed themselves and the incoming family.

***

15 Years Later

Kerttu had a brother named Laden after a six-year wait. Little Warren became not-so-little Ren and he along with the Schreave siblings were thick as thieves.  Ren also grew up to be a big Mama’s boy and was very close with Alice. He was their pride and joy.

He was very shy and slightly awkward but he was mostly comfortable around the Schreaves’ company. He was smarter than both his parents’ combined and they knew this when he picked up an encyclopedia at the age of 3. Now at 15, just like his Uncle Kaden, Ren was very knowledgable in various areas of studies but just like his mother, he picked up writing as his forte. He was a natural at it. He was so brilliant that he had gotten his first deal to publish one of his works at 15. He had gone with his Uncle Gunner to look over the contract since his Uncle Gunner was already a published author.

Everyone was happy but we all know too well that you can’t always get what you want.

He practically ran back home, dragging Uncle Gunner to the Palace with him, so that he could break the news to his parents. “MAMA! POPS! You’ll never believe what I did today!” He reached his parents’ room, panting frantically. He caught sight of his father and ran up to hug him.

“Hey Pop, you’ll never believe what happened to your Little Man!” Ren stopped bouncing excitedly when he saw his father’s sullen face and eyes brimmed with tears. Ren’s heart dropped to his stomach. His father was always a happy man.  Ren was confused as to what could have made him so upset. His mother…

He looked around for Alice, panicking.

“Pop, where’s Mama?” With that question, Kile collapsed onto the floor, breaking down. “She…went…to…surprise…you….” He barely managed to choke it out.

*

Alice had gone to pick Ren up from the publishing firm after Gunner had helped him do up the contract. She wanted to surprise him with congratulatory ice cream. Her car swerved the wrong way and it twisted itself around a tree. She was killed on impact.

Ren learnt this from his father after Kile had composed himself. Ren then broke down, blaming himself. Kile pulled himself together to be strong for both him and his son. He firmly reassured his son that it was no one’s fault. The father and son spent the next few days curled up in bed, mourning their loss. Today was the funeral and all they had to do was pull themselves together for a couple of hours.

‘I can do that.’ Ren thought to himself as he put on his suit for the wake. There was a soft knock on his door and he mumbled for them to come in. The door opened to reveal the youngest Schreave, Laden. Ren immediately felt comforted by his best friend’s presence.

“Ren, are you ready? It’s about to start.” Ren nodded solemnly once before turning to his best friend. Without prompting, Laden pulled him into a hug.

“I’m always going to be here for you, Ren. Never forget that.”

***

Kile and Alice’s love story was a simple and powerful one but it ended in tragedy. Alice had no regrets as she died, she was proud to have had a son like Ren. She had loved Kile more than life itself.

What is a legacy?

It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.

[leilaland]

If you watch my videos on YouTube, you will no doubt be aware of my love for Revolution Beauty. I have such strong feelings about the brand, the team, and the products that I have often wondered whether I should reduce the amount of Revolution content on my channel for fear of boring you all! The fact, however that I am sat surrounded by a whole host of their foundations, eyeshadow palettes, lip colours and much, much more, writing a piece entirely dedicated to the brand, would suggest that I came to the conclusion to continue shouting my adoration from the rooftops. Read on as I take you through ten of the reasons that Revolution Beauty should be held up as the new industry standard.

Aesthetic appeal

Let’s face it, we buy with our eyes, and Revolution’s packaging is now instantly recognisable. Stylish, clean, chic and high end looking, those black and rose gold packages make my little heart dance. They look beautiful on my shelves and can compete with any other product with a much higher price tag.

Price

In February 2016, my scrummy man, Paul and I went away for the weekend to celebrate our first Valentine’s Day together. In true Leila style I headed to the nearest shopping centre to see if they had a larger Superdrug than our hometown’s tiny (but lovely) one. On this particular trip I stumbled upon a blush palette which had a ridiculous price tag of £6! Then I spotted an eyeshadow palette with 32 shades for £8!!!! Obviously I put several of them straight in my basket and have never looked back. Even now, 2 years on, I genuinely struggle to find a brand which matches Revolution for price and quality.

Quality

Which brings me neatly on to my next point. Almost as if I planned it! You can not fault Revolution on their product quality. Whether we are talking about eyeshadow, blush, lip colour, foundation, highlight, or anything else in their now extensive range, every single one will be made to the highest standard, with the best formulas, all whilst staying 100% cruelty free and with mostly all vegan products!

YouTube team

By far my favourite thing about Revolution is their YouTube team. If you haven’t had the pleasure then please do head for their channel and check them out. The team has grown hugely this year but the original gang consisted of Soph, Tammi & Carmi who have all, through their videos, passed on invaluable knowledge, tips, inspiration and giggles. I was lucky enough to meet Tammi at a Revolution blogger event and am so happy to say that she was exactly as friendly and lovely as she is in her videos. I’m very drawn to genuine people and so it was good to see that I had got it right in being a fan! I think Carmi discovered me and my videos through me commenting on his and popping up on social media and I think it safe to say that we are fans of each other! I am extremely humbled and grateful that somebody who I admire, not just as a makeup artist, but as a human, thinks that I’m an ok kinda gal too. Please do check out their channels. You can find Soph here, Tammi here and Carmi here

Constantly striving for improvement

The Revolution team must be the hardest working team in the business! The amount of effort that goes into making sure that all products are the best that they can be .. and then that little bit better is obvious.

Humble

As I mentioned, I have been beyond lucky to have attended a couple of events with this brand and the main thing that struck me at each one, was how much they give back to and shine the light back on the team and the customers. Their slogan of ‘You are the Revolution’ really comes across.

No elitism

There is zero ego with this brand, and I mean zero. They set out to create the best quality products which could rival the big brands, at a cost which was suitable for everyone, and with prices starting at £1, boy did they deliver!

Responsive

Like any new or young brand should, Revolution has changed and grown and evolved and one of the things I really enjoy seeing is their constant willingness to make things better. Too often I see brands get things wrong or make mistakes but then either ignore feedback or worse, make horrible excuses. Oh you want specifics? Ok, how about their initial launch of their internet breaking Conceal & Define concealer? An 18 shade launch featuring light, medium and deep shades but still with room for more inbetween, only took a couple of weeks to have those in between shades included and available. Recently some orders were taking a little longer to arrive than they should, yet as expected, a statement was released recognising the situation and detailing not what they were going to do to rectify it, but what they had already done to fix it. I don’t think you could expect much more!

Inclusive

I genuinely do not know any other brand who supports such a diverse range of people, without shouting it from the rooftops. You will find people of all ages, genders, colours etc. in their campaigns and on their social media because that represents the society in which we live. What I love, however is that there’s no fanfare to it. It’s just how they are and how everyone should be!

The owner

To expand on the point above, I like to sit back and watch people. Not in a weird way! I’m more about what a person does and how they treat others than what they say they’re going to do and I’d like to think that over the years I have become a pretty good judge of character. I have so much respect for Adam Minto, the owner of Revolution Beauty. I have been fortunate enough to occupy the same space as him a couple of times and to have listened to the way he talks about his brand, his vision and the teams involved. He is clearly incredibly driven, passionate and successful yet all of the praise is deflected back onto the design & development teams, the store teams, the bloggers and YouTubers, and to me, that shows such a genuine character that it just makes me even more brand loyal.

I hope that you have enjoyed my ten reasons to love Revolution Beauty. Were there any you disagreed with? Are there any I missed? Make sure you subscribe and share this post, and head to my YouTube channel, Leila Land to subscribe and see some Revolution products in action.

Lots of love, L xx

10 reasons to love Revolution Beauty If you watch my videos on YouTube, you will no doubt be aware of my love for Revolution Beauty.