#genuinely if someone knows how to do this
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gale-gentlepenguin · 2 days ago
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Odysseus fought hard for 20 years just to see his wife, his sins weighing on his back, unsure that his wife would be able to even look at him much less view him with love in her eyes. So when he asks, he is expecting her to be hesitant, to be unsure, he might have even been expecting her to turn him away. There may have been a part of him expecting her to have moved on and married someone else.
But Penelope hears him asking her if she might be willing to fall in love with him again and is offended. Like genuinely offended. Thats why she makes the statement about the bed, the one LITERALLY ROOTED INTO THE GROUND. Because she needed to show Odysseus how ridiculous his request was.
She spent 20 years waiting for his return, doing EVERYTHING in her power to make sure she would see him again and keep their son safe. She loved and trusted him so much. The thought that she would need to re-evaluate her love in the slightest was insane.
Odysseus understood and needed to hear that, and hearing that not only was she capable of loving him again, she never for a MOMENT stopped loving him. Neither of them EVER stopped loving eachother.
This, this song "Would you Fall in Love with Me Again" Just maybe the GREATEST depiction of a truly loving relationship I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in fiction.
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 days ago
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Jason will forever be my comfort character, forever and always
Jason knew from an early age that love was conditional. This was especially more so if you lived in Gotham, and if that was the case then love was more or less something that’s purely transactional. The moment you lose the ability to give anything to someone else, you’re more then likely left to die in an alleyway or in a far away abandoned warehouse that was rigged to blow up.
Love was a weapon utilised in every possible way then what it was meant to be used for, and so Jason didn’t grow up with a very good experience with love or what others claimed as love.
Yet he read books where love was pure, love was powerful and empowering to the people who had the chance to experience it, love was scary and brutal as it was beautiful and something everyone desires to have in their life; whether or not it was real for everyone will chase after it blindly and carelessly as though their self worth was dependent on such an emotion.
He’s read books where love could break someone so badly that they can’t get up, where love can cause more cuts and wounds than knives and other weapons could ever inflict. He’s read books where love has left people wonder their self worth and if anyone else could love them as deeply and truly as the person who had just walked out of the door.
However Jason wondered that if people did love that deeply, wouldn’t you want to stay with that person even through the toughest times of their lives? Help them pull through instead of abandoning them when they were in the most need of their life? To Jason that didn’t sound like love at all as he couldn’t help but see himself in these characters that only saw the worst in themselves, truly believing that love wasn’t for them nor ever will in how their entire lives was the biggest example of such.
However all that changed with time the moment you entered his life and for good.
Jason was on the defensive as his eyes wouldn’t leave you as all you did was simple things for him unprovoked, unwarranted, as though you wanted to do these things for him. You would care for his books as though they were irreplaceable while rearranging them in alphabetical order, clean his weaponry and armour before he could early in the morning, and even would him breakfast in the morning when you noticed that he didn’t eat nearly as much as he should to properly function.
Jason didn’t know how to feel, nor how he could repay you back in response and even when he did, you would just brush him off and tell him that you could handle it, telling him that he shouldn’t worry about doing anything for you purely because you did things for him one day.
‘I just wanted to do these things for you.’ You tell him with a smile. ‘You’re a busy man and you don’t have nearly enough time to catch up to everything and I merely wanted to help clear your schedule somewhat while you’ve got your hand full.’ You add and Jason could only stare at you.
‘You wanted to?’ He said with a raised brow. ‘Sweetheart, there’s no such thing as people doing things for others out of the kindness of their heart, everyone wants something in the end as nobody is above their own desires.’ He then crossed his arms over his chest as a look of unconvincing overcame his face at your words.
You frown at this but didn’t hold such views against him, Gotham wasn’t a city where love was genuine and not corrupt nor unhealthy to some extent, if anything your heart ached for him as you could only imagine a young Jason having to learn this cruel lesson in the worst possible way; one that left a permeant scar upon his heart that would ache painfully as a reminder that in a city of Gotham love didn’t exist unless it was for transactional or conventional purposes for even more corrupt figureheads.
‘Love shouldn’t be used to hurt people, it should be used to help people and allow them to gain the strength to let others into their heart and trusting that person to not stab them in the back, love should be used between friends, family and lovers and no one else who could corrupt an innocent emotion such as love.’ You stepped closer to him as you watched his eyes and the flickering of emotions within them as his jaw clench and he would straighten his posture as though he was trying to scare you off with his height, it wasn’t working.
‘Love should help you realise that the love you’ve been receiving is not love at all, Jason you deserve love much like everyone else, for someone will look at you and see a beautiful man with scars that tell stories that they can only hope you’ll be ready to share with one day at your own comfortability.’ You finished as you rested your hand upon his bicep, feeling the muscles tense beneath your touch, as your thumb caresses a faint scar of his. It wasn’t a touch tender as anything Jason had experienced before and it both frightened and intrigued him at how much he needed this.
Had he found the love that the books he’s read in the past promised? That child in him said yes with such an eagerness, but he was still uncertain but knew that he felt safer with you than he did anyone else, and that was certainly a start in his eyes.
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nqueso-emergency · 2 days ago
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i seriously don’t understand what bucktommy shippers see in tommy though. genuinely. he starts the show as a racist misogynist and is reintroduced as somebody who has literally 0 defining character traits. he treated buck like a child. he didn’t know or care about the people in buck’s life or buck’s interests. you all claim that he’s had character growth since s2 but we never saw any evidence of that so why should we believe he’s changed? like i’m not even trying to hate here and i really don’t gaf about buddie, but seriously why are you guys so obsessed with tommy 😭
What I don't understand is why some people, like you, anon, put the entire "racist and misogynistic" atmosphere of the 118 under Gerrard completely on Tommy.
Yeah. He makes a racist joke towards Chim when he firsts comes into the 118 but no one stands up against it. In fact, people smirk at it. Even Eli. Eli explains the reason the 118 keeps Chim at arms length. I really wish people would actually watch the episode.
And if you want to get technical, we do see growth in Hen begins (time wise, Chim begins is first. Not Hen's) and when Hen shows up, Tommy is much more accepting of new people. In fact, he's interested in Hen until Gerrard opens his mouth, each time ultimately using his authority to intimidate and I know people hate this accusation but Chim never stands up for Hen in front of Gerrard or the others either.
And that's because they all know how difficult it is working under Gerrard.
By Bobby begins, it's clear that Tommy, Sal, Hen, and Chim all get along. And honestly by saying he's had no growth is an insult to both Hen and Chim's judge of character. Do you think they would willingly hang out with someone outside of work who they felt was actually racist and misogynistic?? Hell no. Didn't you watch the stuff with Jonah?? Hen hated him.
As for having no defining character traits, you're very wrong. Tommy shows up. For friends, for the wedding date, for coffee after the disaster date. He includes Eddie in a lot of his interests. He showed up at the hospital for Buck when he got hurt. He never told Buck he was stupid for believing in the curse and he wasn't embarrassed to be in public with Buck covered in boils. He stayed the night with Buck, sleeping on a tiny ass couch just to be near him. He also attended a funeral for a mummified cowboy and even dressed up.
All those things cover the shit you've said that Tommy doesn't do.
He does care for Buck's interests. He does care for the people in Buck's life. He went to a fucking zoom birthday party for Christopher ffs.
Not to mention, Tommy has acknowledged multiple times that he wasn't a good person back then. He even broke up with Buck even though he was clearly falling for Buck (and I believe already has).
Saying you don't care about buddie doesn't give you the right to say you don't see something that others do.
I don't see buddie happening. Never have. But people can still ship them. That's not a problem, and honestly, I'd never ask someone in fandom WHY they like a character or a ship or even a trope.
The issue is when people are obsessed with a character they don't like. That is where we are in the 911 fandom and it's why there's so much hate.
So. Perhaps. You should send this ask to a buddie bnf and ask them why they're so obsessed with Tommy. Especially now that he's broken up with Buck.
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mosscaller · 2 days ago
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My Fiancé has helped me sort through a few traumatic memories, most of which gave her an inclination of just how "broken" I am.
I don't really react to affection or emotional warmth the way normal people do.
Which is weird, because if it's directed at someone else I'm fine.
However, if someone tries to give me affection or any form of human compassion I have a panic attack, make a joke or try to quickly change the topic.
…kinda like Chandler.
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I genuinely do not know how to be vulnerable.
Online is easier. I can hide behind a screen and avoid anyone getting too close, because I can walk away from my computer or phone.
…I don't want to live like this forever.
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frostbitten-writer · 2 days ago
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Bathtub nights
Pairing: Ekko x gn!Firefly!reader
Tags: established relationship; no description of R; nakedness??? I don’t know how to name it, but no smut or suggestiveness; FLUFF
A/n: just a simple, cute one-shot that I thought about while daydreaming, so yeah, enjoy 🫶🏻
The rustling sound of leaves and the creaking of wood were the only things that could be heard in the slow night. The hideout was full and peaceful, the little ones kind of helping with the feeling of pure chaos. You were usually stuck with them during the day, but not that you were complaining, it’s just the fact that you saw Ekko even less. He was always so stiff and serious, never eating or caring for himself. The wrinkles and lines on his forehead were giving him a few more years than he had, making his young face look older. So that’s why you’re here, balancing the tray with his favourite dish in your hands while walking up the steps to his workshop, which, unfortunately for you, was at the top of the tree. 
The wooden door creaked open and you slipped your head into the room, only to see an even more slumped version of Ekko sitting at his desk. To the sound of your steps, he turned around, and you could see his stiff face softening ever so lightly from your presence. The workplace was untidy and yet cozy, just like Ekko. The whole atmosphere was just screaming him. The room was illuminated by a small, warm lamp that made Ekkos eyes seem even warmer, the little specks of gold shining so bright, you almost felt your body melt. 
Carefully setting the plate of food and bread down in the mess of his desk, you sat on his lap and wrapped your arms loosely around his neck while looking down at him with a tender smile.
“Hey..” He rasped out, voice groggy from several hours of silence, his callused and dirty from metal hands snaking up to your hips.
“Hi, tree boy, already studied everything about trees and their existence, or is there something more?” You joked, lips forming into a lazy grin, one hand coming up to one of his dreadlocks.
“Not yet, but I’m close to it..” He smiled, clearing his throat a bit before giggling quietly to you tickling him with his hair. 
He looked at your face with a certain softness that only he could give to you, the expression of love no one else got to see. If you stared a bit longer into his eyes, you could promise you saw his pupils forming into hearts. 
“What’s that that you brought..?” He mumbled, peeking at the plate with a mysterious meal.
“A bit of food, your favourite.. hazelnut soup~” You hooked his chin between your fingers, tugging his head back straight to face you, his big doe eyes looking at you with interest. 
“Really..? You’re so good to me.. how did I get with you..” He mumbled and rested his forehead against your shoulder, his eyes drooping closed. 
“Well, I have to feed you with something if you don’t eat yourself..” You teased, your hands sliding to his shoulders, kneading the lumps and muscles.
He whined a bit at the sensation, head lolling to the side.
“I just- I didn’t have time to do so.. I feel like time’s running away from my grasp..” He whispered sincerely, looking at you with puppy dog eyes.
“It’s okay, you just need some rest.. how about we take a warm bubble bath?” You suggested, doing your best to persuade him.
“You just want a reason to get me out of clothes..” He mumbled, his voice still tired but playful.
“Maybe~” You giggled quietly, jumping out of his grasp and then taking hold of his wrist. “Let’s go, space boy!” 
He only chuckled, the steamy soup long forgotten while you two ran down the spiral steps. 
Many Firelights stopped in their tracks at the sound of something or someone running down the stairs like a madman, their surprised expression growing back to neutral as they saw you two giggling and laughing. They all knew the effect you had on Ekko, they saw it by the way he would smile. Not the smirk he’d do when a plan worked, but a genuine one, an ecstatic grin.
When you reached your shared apartment, you slipped into the room, going straight to the bathroom, hands still clasped together. 
The steam was rising smoothly from the tub, the mirror already fully fogged, making the room humid and warm. He was about to ask how you managed to get it full, if you had already thought about it before asking him at the workshop, but he quickly shut himself up to the smell of the new oil or soap you borrowed.
“I found a new lavender and vanilla oil at the topside, smells amazing, right~?” You purred out with a grin, his expression confused and yet happy.
“Of course you did, found it.” He rolled his eyes affectionately, tugging at the hem of his shirt and pulling it off.
 
-
 
You both were now settled down in the bathtub, foam and bubbles flying around in the mist. He held you against his bare chest, your back rubbing against his skin, his long legs enveloping you from both of your sides. His dreadlocks were wet, his muscles finally getting their rest.
“Now that's a way to end the day, right..?” He whispered and pressed some lazy pecks to your shoulder. You only hummed in response, shifting sideways to face him, your damp hand wiping his face paint off.
“You always do that..” He giggled quietly, closing his eyes affectionately to let you get to his nose and forehead.
“And you love it..” You watched the drops of white colour roll down his cheeks. The smile on your face grew intimate, the chaos temporarily fading away.
“I do..” He whispered back, kissing the inside of your palm before tackling you and pressing gentle and chaste pecks all over your face…
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bigmoon-is-bigwife · 2 days ago
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I'm still thinking about how a few days ago when Bad was having that out of character talk with Tubbo and others about The Realm and the issues he and others were having where Bad just admitted that he was only matching the energy he thought was being put out there and he would be willing to pull back if people asked.
I think a lot of people forget that Badboyhalo (the creator) leans into playing chaotic villain character that causes problems but he is genuinely a very sweet dude who wants things to be fair. He plays the antagonist because he knows someone has to for things to be interesting. That is how he helps contribute to the story on servers. He gives people someone to go against.
On every server he plays on he falls into the role of a cartoonishly evil character with messed up morals because that's fun and interesting! Bad cares about things being interesting and he will always choose the more interesting choice! His character is as smart or stupid as the most interesting choice requires! If he thinks it's interesting he will walk straight into a trap knowingly! He understands rp is a story told between people and he always does his best to create a scenario that gives other people a chance to do interesting things.
I think a lot of people don't see past the character Bad plays but especially the last few weeks you have been able to see it in the way how Bad freaks out and starts panicking every time he accidentally kills someone. The character he plays is evil but Bad the creator is not and he did not mean to do that! Eventually when he recollects himself he'll play it off in character as being intentional but Bad even admitted on that stream that he played into it because it was interesting for the story! He did not actually mean to kill people but it already happened so it may as well be made interesting and impactful to the plot!
I just have so much respect for him because playing the antagonist is a hard and often thankless job but he throws himself into the role constantly. We have him to thank for pretty much any lore on The Realm right now because he's so passionate about keeping a story fun and exciting. Out of character he's always willing to communicate so I hope that conversation opens up more communication so people coordinate things better.
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b00tyliciousbabe · 2 days ago
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⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙
oddballs and eggnog
goofybf! x THICC male reader
summary: love me a nerdy man that’s got a lil spice to him. plus a lil xmas lore!
notes: HI BEAUTIFULS! merry xmas to those who celebrate. it’s been a while fr, my bad dawgs uni work has been ploughing my ass so violently im reconsidering if a degree is even for me. but as a masochistic bottom, i had to channel my energy elsewhere; thus, this fic is just me showing the variety of my tastes as the true indecisive femboy that i am. show me a cute guy and i will plan my whole life with him. i need to get a grip.
originally, i canonically wrote this character with ginger hair (y’all know i fold for redheads), but the more i kept writing, the clearer it became to me that dark brown hair/black aligned with my OWN understanding of him. it’s all fiction anyways so feel free to adapt body types as you see fit. enjoy my lovelies 🎀
album rec: flo - access all areas. these girlies have my heart. been following them since about 2022 and they are genuinely my fave artists, cannot wait for flo world domination.
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you guys had mutual acquaintances for a couple years, but it wasn’t until the two of you got to university that your friendship really blossomed. the engineering student didn’t have the best luck when it came to relationships; in fact, people would only toy with his emotions when they wanted something from him, so he learnt to put up a wall of cynicism.
these barriers he had fortified for his own protection made him quite a reserved guy. never cruel or nasty. just quiet. sure, he wasn’t a complete loner, he had a few VERY close bros who he’d let in, but it was clear that in this silence, he was safe.
he’s super handsy, whether that means pulling you on his lap, be it at parties or when he’s gaming, or placing his hands in your back pocket when y’all walk to class, he just wants to hold you. probably got something to do with the fact that he needs to make sure you’re real and not the angel he believes you to be. you love your needy bf and his craving for physical touch.
this is kinda juxtaposed by how flustered he gets by your words. the minute you whisper in his ear, he could cum in his jeans on the spot. he gets so red when you compliment him which makes him squeeze you tighter.
he wasn’t a virgin before meeting you, he’d had a few hookups but nothing sexual with someone he genuinely cared about. as a result, it made sense why he was very nervous when it came to your first time together.
to relax him, you decided to give him a blowjob to ease the tension and allow him to cum quick in the first round so he’d last longer during anal. sat back on the edge of his bed, he wore a vest and baggy joggers, awaiting your fingers to unleash his raging boner. you knelt down and flashed a comforting smile to him, which he failed to mirror perfectly.
‘we don’t have to do this if you’re not ready to. I’d never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.’ you said concerned, stroking his abs, clear to you that he was stressing.
‘nah baby, i want this so bad. it’s just gotta be really special because you’re really special to me.’ he said gripping your chin.
‘i love you, y/n. like a lot.’
‘i know that you weirdo, i love you too, you mean so much to me.’
‘now, lemme show you how much.’ you said coyly, to which he was more than happy to oblige.
when i tell you, your man eats so well that his cum is literally like milk. the typa white, thick, pearly cum that you would swallow every drop of, because it truly is just disrespectful not to. the first time he came was a surprise for the two of you. he didn’t realise how much he loved seeing his cum all over your face, decorating your juicy, wet lips. the head you gave him was so good, he napped for 2 hours straight after you drained him. but that deffo changed him for the better.
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his hobbies include boxing and gaming. he’s such a nerd he makes his own demo projects, playing with his classmates. you always chastise him for not making his hobby a lucrative endeavour - your boy’s got a talent and he doesn’t seem to know it. equally, he loves his legos and comics just as much as he enjoys coding, making you the prettiest bouquet of lego flowers for your first date. after spending some time walking, he took you back to his place and y’all spent the entire night binging his favourite marvel and dc films.
one time it was his birthday and you thought it be a good idea to make a short graphic novel of the journey of your relationship - ending steamily with you pregnant.
‘baby, i love this so much! who knew how sexy you’d look with a baby bump?’ ‘anything can happen in the multiverse’ you laugh, as he kissed your jaw.
‘I’m gonna fuck you so good tonight.’
as we have established, he’s far from experienced. he holds your hand through missionary always because it makes him feel safe. makes so many jokes during it as a way to deflect. lowkey loves being choked. you took the lead most of the time before, using him as a pole and ride the shit out of him.
but, that night he ploughed you with a sense of purpose, so deep and mercilessly that your insides were moulded into an incubator for any hypothetical foetus he would soon impregnate you with. after, he laid curled up next to you, caressing the belly that he had now filled with
‘i hate biology sometimes,’ he says breathlessly. ’you’d look so good with our lil baby growing inside your belly.’
your boyfriend is the goofiest mf ever; playing practical jokes on all his friends and fulfilling his role as your comedian. definitely one of your favourite characteristics of his.
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his sleeper build is INSANE. he might appear tall and lanky, but he is far from it. bench pressing more than 100 kilos with one arm - the brudda is basically superman. he’s what you’d get if clark kent had ginger hair, and was a huge weirdo.
though he cannot dance to save his life. he used to be very awkward and shy, but the minute them clothes are off and you two are in the sheets? stroke game is giving pornstar baby girl lemme tell you! ever since your first time, it’s like you awaken the sexual drive in him that’s been missing all his life. this, paired for his complete adoration for you makes him a lethal weapon in bed - quite literally, your man casually packs an 8 inch pussy destroyer with veins that massage and pummel your gummy walls so well.
after this moment he became the BIGGEST TEASE. slapping his dick all over your face. as you chase his dick like a good puppy, he giggles at how desperate you are. ‘sweet Jesus you feel good’. ‘holy shit’. ‘don’t act like you don’t love it.’ painting hickeys all over your neck . he loves when ppl ask you because of how flustered you get, makes him want to mark you more. he’s no longer shy to the world and he thanks you everyday for that. living to call you princess - in both a mocking and endearing tone, he loved toying with your nipples because you’re his lil doll. in cowgirl he will play with them whilst jerking you off to get you to cum all over his abs. and! he LOVES eating ass - like almost obsessively, as if he’s high of your pussy.
he smells so good. so good. you always act like a bitch in heat whenever he steps out of the shower with a towel skimpily wrapped around his adonis belt.
your bf loves playing with his cum and using his dick as a paintbrush to decorate your belly, butt, and face. ‘my masterpiece’ + ‘my muse’ he professes. somehow managing to entrance you to always stroke his dick during makeout sessions. he brings his hands to play with your hair, knowing that his dick is in extremely good hands with you - literally. always pulling you off of his dick because he is really sensitive and ur mouth is a fucking weapon, but will show you that he’s the boss and could leave you bedridden for a couple days after a good fuck.
things he would say drunk off of eggnog:
‘i would die a happy man beneath those beautiful cheeks of yours’
‘put ur hole on my North Pole.’
‘ay, you Don’t get to call me handsome unless you’re gonna HANDsome of those fat cheeks of yours to my lap.’
‘come on, I’ve been a good boy, Santa says gimme some of that pussy you know I love so much.’
‘that ass of yours, come here lemme unwrap it.’
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this man has you written into his destiny. he always dreamed of raising a son and dressing him up in the flyest outfits and with you, that desire became reality. you too truly are a match made in heaven.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙
taglist:
@ghostking4m
@gayaristocrat
@lysanderplume
@acoustickitten
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fangel · 14 hours ago
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always, attic angel — jake [ 심재윤 ]
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synopsis : jake’s hidden secret isn’t so secret anymore, but he’ll go to great lengths to keep it. he reaches his breaking point when faced with betrayal. he relinquishes any remaining sense of sanctity, surrendering to everything he's spent his life trying to suppress. ⇀ read part 1 here ⸝⸝ updated playlist
pairing : jake sim x fem. reader featuring : heeseung genre : psychological thriller, smut, yandere word count : 7.7k content advisory : dark content ⚠︎ sexually explicit content, obsessive!jake, possessive!jake, jake in general, corrupt!reader, choking, dubcon, somnophilia, spanking, unprotected sex, stockholm syndrome, religious themes and concepts, violence, blood, mentions of homicide/death, open ending - mostly proofread
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“can you keep a secret?”
jake wasn’t only asking heeseung the literal question, but he was questioning himself. how long could he realistically hide you away? were you, his sacred secret, something that he could actually keep? he’s thought about it a lot. often losing hours in a day just going over the agonizing idea of not.
heeseung at a loss for words, just watches jake’s body language. jake is like nothing he’s ever seen before. jay and sunghoon have brought up jake’s odd behavior with concern, but he always brushed it off. now heeseung is here to witness it himself, stunned with his brows furrowed and a mouth opening and closing, looking for words he can’t find. he looks back up to the top of staircase, the room that he knows is occupied with someone. hundreds of questions flood his mind but he doesn’t know where to begin. 
“jake,” he says quietly, eyes darting from the door up the stairs and to the boys huddled in the living room. “what did you do? who is here?” even if jake did have a girlfriend, or just someone he’s been seeing, why would he need to act this way? with the way the air feels around them, heeseung is sure that there’s much more going on. and whatever it could be, was far from good. 
jake still can’t look at heeseung. he just stares to the floor with a death grip on heeseung. his breathing picks up in slow, deep heaves. he holds onto his hyung like a lifeline. heeseung feels genuine dread. the chill he feels run through his body makes every hair stand up. he wants to pull away from jake, to go investigate before the others get nosy or cause a scene. but he can’t. his instincts are telling him that if he moves too quickly that jake will break.  
“jake… if i go up there—” he begins to say slowly, quietly. and that’s when jake looks up at heeseung. his eyes look wild, almost like they’re threatening him. heeseung swallows hard, sensing that maybe he is silently threatening him. 
heeseung tries to step back but jake only digs his nails into the flesh of heeseung’s arm. he hisses at the sting and attempts to tug his arm away from the hold. jake’s strength is something heeseung never knew he had; he thinks that jake might just fucking break his arm at the elbow right here and now. 
through clenched teeth, jake seethes under his breath, “i’ll explain, but get them all out of my house first. and i swear to god if you tell another soul you’ll be buried out back too.” 
what the fuck, is all heeseung can think. his eyes wide from the venomous threat. he complies with jake out of fear. these were treacherous waters and he wasn’t going to test it out by diving in. especially with the tension growing too thick and too fast for heeseung to waste any time. 
jake follows heeseung to the living, standing behind him, watching and listening. he doesn’t say a word as his older friend handles the situation. he just shifts on his feet while staring into the back of heeseung’s head.
heeseung stumbles over his words, nervously attempting a lie to get the rest of the boys to leave. the words catching in his throat that he masks with a cough whenever one of them makes a questioning expression. 
although disoriented and perturbed, they all listen to heeseung. heeseung being obviously troubled with something serious made them gather their things with haste. they were rushing out to the car in minutes with no questions asked. there were many to be had, but they assumed they would find out eventually. 
jake and heeseung watch as they drive away, from the front door. neither of them say a word even when the vehicle is out of sight. the taillights fading into the snowscape treeline of gravel road is all to be heard and seen. 
there’s a pregnant pause before jake closes the door and locks it, all 5 different locks. heeseung raises a brow, stepping back slowly. his eyes watching as jake stuffs the ring of keys into his front hoodie pocket. he makes note of it. 
jake, still yet to utter a word, just walks into the living room area to clean up the leftover mess. heeseung, unsure of what to do, just helps in stillness. the tv remains a static screen displaying no signal: (1) check the cable connections and settings of your source device. the kitchen oven light flickers every so often. and the darkness of the night bleeds into the house. it’s eerily quiet between them. 
after some time, there’s a slow creak of a door to be heard. both of the boys heads shoot upward and down the hallway. layla trots away from them and sits at the end of staircase. her head tilted, ears raised, and mouth open in what would be interpreted as a smile. 
slow footsteps make their way down. the space between each creaking step of the wooden floorboards shows how apprehensive and timorous you are. once halfway down, there’s a pause. you’re standing there, waiting for a noise or response from jake. you saw the group of his friends leave, but there was still another car parked outside. and after waiting for so long, listening to silence, you had to see why jake hadn’t come up to see you, to tell you it’s safe to come out. 
jake stands from his crouched position, dropping the wet wipe he was just using to clean the low coffee table. he throws off his jacket to the edge of the couch. there’s a clink of the cluttered keys, but only heeseung hears it. jake’s already in tunnel vision. he gives heeseung a daring glare before walking away to meet you halfway. heeseung sits down on the couch, his hands folded over his lap while his leg picks up an anxious bounce. he looks at the pocket of the abandoned material. a glimmer of metals peak through the opening. 
jake walks up the stairs that you stand in the middle of, layla hot on his trail. he gives you a small smile as he places his hands on your shoulders to turn your body back around. “i didn’t tell you when to come out, did i?” he whispers with small anger, trying to keep his tone light but what’s deeper surfaces regardless. 
you very rarely made jake angry. a feeling of disappointment envelops you like instinct. as if you had to feel bad for going against him. 
“i’m sorry i made a noise,” you mumble, “i got excited when i heard them mention me.” it’s an honest admission. you turn your head back to jake and your guilt drops to something empty. the color fades from your face when you see him. he looks disgusted. “i-i’m sorry, i-” your mouth open and mind trying to find the right thing so say. 
he grabs the back of your neck and begins to walk forward, forcing your body back up to the bedroom. you stumble over your feet, nearly falling. his footsteps stomp against the wooden stairs. his hold on you is squeezing with fingers pressing into the sides of your throat. you want to cough away the feeling but decide on struggling to remain quiet instead. someone is still here. i promised to behave. 
when back in the room, he shoves you forward with the release of his grip. the door slams behind him. you lose balance but catch your own feet, your ankle shooting in a great affliction that you’ve become accustomed to ignore. your hands reach for your throat to massage the ache. you whimper at the touch. 
“it was a perilous decision, making you my attic angel.” his heavy footsteps march forward. he picks you up from under your arms and tosses you onto the bed. you bounce slightly before gathering yourself. you push yourself back into the corner of the bed, hugging your knees to tuck into your body, like you’re protecting yourself. you watch as he places his knee onto the bed, his hands too, leaning towards you. “i am trying so hard, so why isn’t it enough?” his head shakes in disbelief. “i’m just not enough for you? you want everyone to see you, to know you. why? as if they would need or love you as much as i do.” the last sentence is a scoff, spat with hate. he just stares at you with a tilt to his head. you feel that he’s mocking you in some way with his ridiculous words. 
tears brim your eyes, your hands forming small fists that tremble in a rage you’ve always felt within you. “i never asked you to.” your words are firm, a tight lip frown wears your face. you want to argue that this isn’t love and he’s just a sick man, but you don’t want to spill more tears over him. you’ve been drained enough.
jake’s face flashes with an array of emotions. his fingers curl into the blankets so tight his knuckles turn white. he looks irated and dejected, but mostly broken.
“you didn’t have to.” his face is a scowl, glaring at you for the first time. how could his attitude change so quickly? “you wanted me, and now you have me. let it be enough.” he pushes himself off the bed and picks up the metal cuff chain from the floor with one hand. you instantly try to scramble up off the bed but he’s faster; he takes your bruised, weakened ankle in his free hand to drag you into him. you yelp with agony, trying to kick your leg around in a struggle that would hopefully prevent the entrapment. but he secures it onto you with a low growl, warning you that your actions have been enough. 
with a burning gaze, he pushes you back down onto the bed before making strides to the door. he’s never been so blatantly mean towards you. it hurts far more than you could’ve ever expected. you slide yourself off the bed with urgency, tripping up behind him. you want to cry so badly, but you also want to show you’re stronger than he allows you to be. your hands reach for him to grab at the back of his shirt, a try of pulling him back from the door. “take it off! take it off now!” you stomp your metal clad foot, the chain rattles against the floor. 
layla begins to bark loudly from the other side of the door. her paws scratch at the closed white wood. 
jake spins around with your raised voice and slaps his hand over your mouth, “shut the fuck up!” he whispers with heated aggression. his other hand grabbing the back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair and craning your neck back to look at him. crazed eyes stare into yours like they want to rip you apart. you can no longer help it now, tears escape and wash down to meet his hand. your entire body is now shaking in fear. “angel, i thought i taught you better than this… haven’t you made yourself known enough tonight?” he softens in tone, but his expression and hands don’t match. they’re strong, keeping you still. 
you shake your head frantically under his hold. his large hand taking up half your face, making it hard to breathe. your mouth and nose only taking in larger breaths of air that just isn’t sufficient. fat tears run down your face as you continue to shout muffled pleas into his palm. 
“take it off!” 
“let me go!” 
“stop, stop!” 
“help me!” it’s a deadened attempt of a shrill scream.
it’s all lost against his skin. you try to slap his hand and arms off of you but it’s to no avail. you’re simply too feeble to put up the fight you want to. you’ll always be overpowered by man. 
his hold doesn’t let up. he just watches you struggle in blazing silence. your lungs losing oxygen make you see bright white stars scatter your vision. the burning tears only make it all the more hazy. your body feels weak, like it’s about to collapse in on itself. is this what it’s like to lose consciousness? weird, it feels kind of good. you use all your strength to keep your eyes open, but they blink slowly to a close. 
“please.” is the final beg to be said against his palm.
“i love you.” is the final words he promises before it all goes black. 
     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝
  when jake finally comes downstairs, he looks like he’s seen a ghost. 
heeseung—who was in the kitchen—heard jake’s descent with the settling creaks of the house’s floors, returns to the couch. he nervously watches jake, who was yet to look over at him, as he stuffs something back into the hoodie that jake left behind before going up to that room. 
jake just stands at the bottom of the staircase with a dead stare, eyes unblinking and unfocused. he looks pale, stuck in a state that heeseung is not ready to approach or question. heeseung heard nearly everything from upstairs. it was jarring, and enough evidence to understand that the house is dangerous for everyone in it. 
to think that he’s been here before without a clue of what was happening behind closed doors makes his skin crawl. he never could have imagined that his own friend, or himself, would get wrapped up in a scenario like this. was it all merely a matter of time? 
heeseung slowly stands up. due to the silence, even the slight sound of movement has jake’s heard turn in a split second to his friend's direction. 
unknowing of what to do, heeseung just stays still like a deer in headlights. frightful in nature as if he was the one to be caught in the wrong place. he’s frozen under the cold, black eyes that bore into him. 
jake stalks over to heeseung slowly. the unbreaking eye contact and lack of words sends chills through the older male. the kitchen oven light hums in the background, and it’s all to be heard. jake places himself on the other couch in the living room. the light flickers off and on again when heeseung follows jake’s actions, sitting once more. 
“i’ve never hurt her before,” his tone hostile, as if to defend himself from whatever he was imagining that heeseung was thinking, “not physically at least, i don’t think.” 
heeseung feels a cold sweat take over. his palms sweaty, squeezing his own thighs for a sense of stability. this can’t be real. he couldn’t process any of this. how could this be what jake is? he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and gnaws with anxiety. eyes trained on the intense presence before him. 
jake speaks up again, his voice breaking like he’s about to cry, “she looked at me so.. she looked terrified of me, seung. and i made her cry again.” jake has his elbows resting on his knees, his head hung low with hands fisted in his hair. he pulls on his dark locks in distress. 
heeseung glances from jake to the front door. then back to jake. and then the staircase. and then the front door again before going back to jake. he feels like his lungs are going to burst, his breathing something he now has to force himself to manually maintain. 
“but fuck, man!” jake hits himself in the head once, twice, three times. his smack echoing through the room, sending shivers of panic through heeseung each time. “i-i can’t think! what the hell am i supposed to do!?” there’s a pause. “i want to be good for her. she’s supposed to help me but i’m getting worse everyday.” his hands drag down over his face, covering it. 
“jake, i don’t know—”, heeseung’s voice didn’t reach. 
“i went to church. i prayed. i couldn’t confess though. i was too cowardly to say what ill thoughts consumed me.” jake looks up to heeseung with tears in his eyes, “too cowardly to admit to what i’ve done. i want to be clean, man. but i am full of greed, lust, and wrath. i can wash my hands over and over, but i still remember the feeling. a damned confession wouldn’t take the weight of that away.” he laughs lowly, shaking his head. a hand lazily wiping his tears from his face. “and i see it every night. the stains that painted me, that should’ve made me feel dirty. it didn’t.” 
heeseung needs to get the fuck of here now. he can’t keep up with jake’s insane behavior or confession. this has gone far beyond his expectations; his flight or fight instincts are screaming that this is unsafe territory. 
“but when i have her, it’s not so bad. i can’t--i can’t have you getting in the way, or anything, anyone else, for that matter.” jake is hanging on by a thread, it’s clear. he was going to snap soon. “do you understand that?”
heeseung nods his head but can’t bring himself to say a word. 
“well say it, damn it! say ‘jake, i won’t get in the way.’” his voice loud, demanding. 
“jake,” he stands on shaking legs, “i won’t get in your way. i w-won’t say a thing. this has nothing to do with me, man.” his hands up in a defending position as he makes brave steps that lead to the front of the house. “you can trust me…” 
“i hope so, or you’ll end up like her parents… somewhere in the back of those woods to feed the maggots.” 
heeseung nods again then darts for the door and out to his car. he wastes no time in getting far away from that nightmare. as he starts the car, he looks up to the window at the highest point of the house. the light is off and there is no face peaking through with hope. heeseung exhales deeply. he recalls the smile jake wore with his leaving statement. closing his eyes, he knows that he is no hero, and certainly won’t be made a victim. 
but, he also isn’t someone to do nothing. so, he’ll leave for now. 
     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝
  jake’s mind is in a whirlwind. he needs to release the weight of everything that’s suffocating him from the inside. he feels as if all his organs have corroded and are crawling up his esophagus, like hundreds of little centipede feet, only to get stuck in his throat. 
he doesn’t even recognize how he got back to the bedroom since heeseung’s escape; unable to realize that some has passed. 
he stands in the middle of room, blinking his eyes back to a state of awareness. he was watching you sleep in the bed he placed you in. or perhaps he was just looking through you. he made you pass out in and from his own hands. he despised himself for it, and how it gave him a sense of god-like power. 
jake moves towards the bed and creeps in next to you. his hands find a place on your hips to pull you on top of him. the subtle movement of your chest and small breaths assure him of your liveness. he hugs you close like that for a minute.
his fingers trail up and down your body, squeezing and caressing his favorite parts of you. they stop at your ass, full in his hands he begins to move your body back and forth. his growing cock pressing up into your pussy, grinding with the maneuver. the back of his throat releases a soft, guttural sound. 
his large hands slip up your night dress and pull your underwear to the side. he runs a finger along your folds, feeling every detail of your womanhood. the callosed tips rub over your core until a layer of wetness leaks through.   
you shift on top of him, not awake, but subconsciously sensing an uncomfortable intrusion. a small noise leaves your lips, something of a whine. 
“i know you’re not all there. you’re too compliant with all i’ve done. you listen too well.” he’s whispering against the side of your face. his free hand working to take off his pants and boxer briefs. “you’re like me.” he licks a strip up your face, wet saliva leaving a trail. you stir again, face scrunching before rubbing onto jake’s shirt. 
he grins at you, thinking you’re cute all out of it and on top of him. his eyes find the teeth marks on your shoulder. the thin spaghetti strap of your dress falling from it, revealing full sight to the scarring mark of his possession. “i can sink my teeth into you and you will do nothing but watch me lick it clean. and you would still let me hold you. kiss you. and,” he’s rubbing his leaking cock against your pussy, humping up into you so the head dips in and out. “fuckkk.” he moans, feeling himself being teased with the enveloping of your creamy, warm hole. 
you make another tired, bothered sound with eyes squeezed shut. 
“possibly i have let you think of me as tender, but i will prove to you i am everything but.” he thrusts his hips upwards, his cock pushing into your tight core. he moans at the feeling of you wrapped around him, hugging him with wet heat. “i’ve always had these tainted thoughts with me. i could never admit to anyone, or myself, what i longed for.” his arms are wrapped around you, holding you close. his legs propped up, knees bent and feet pressed down to the bed, as he begins a brutal pace to pound himself in and out of you. 
your eyes open along with your mouth, a sound in between a moan and gasp leaves your lips. you look up to the man who is fucking you, confused and disoriented. you feel a deep pain between your legs and in the bottom of your stomach. you try to pull yourself back, to sit up, but jake grounds you to his chest. 
“i prayed for all the disturbed thinking to come to an end. my mind became more grotesque, morbid.” he looks at you and all you see is misery. his eyes are so empty yet he forces a smile. “i am haunted like a sick man.” i know, you think. your head rests tucked by his chin and neck. you just watch him, letting your body make little moans and chases to his touch like it’s trained to. “i always wanted more. i didn’t want to just think it, i wanted to do it all.” 
“mhmm.” your eyes blink slowly, watching the faces of pleasure he makes through your eyelashes. maybe this is all a dream, you imagine wishfully. 
“i stopped praying a long time ago, yet kept stepping into god’s house. i knew something, someone, would come for me.” he grunts, squeezing the skin on your back to bruises. his trusts become messy as squelching sounds of your pussy. skin slaps and fragmented noises come from the both of you. “in the bible; tell me, angel, who did god send to fulfill all his obligations?” he nibbles on your ear. sometimes licking and leaving his spit coating it. 
him pistoning his cock at his assaulting speed and force, elicits a loud mewl from you. you wish he would fuck you even harder. violent enough that it rattles your brain and body senseless. you don’t want to think at all, just want to see those stars again. 
jake is pissed when you ignore his question. one of his hands slides up your back while the other moves down to slap your ass. you whine at the sting. he grabs the back of your neck like he did earlier and you can’t help but grin a little. he yanks your head back and your body sits up on top of him. he feels so deep inside of you. you hum at the feeling, not even realizing your hand drops down to rub over your lower stomach. 
you still wear the faint grin on your lips as you look down at him. “hm?” 
“who carried out his judgements, served punishments, and set examples?” he fucks into you slower, focusing on your body. noticing how your hips move in small swivels and bounces on his cock. how your nipples peek through in needy points of the thin material. 
he gives your ass another slap and your head tips back with a moan, “ngh, the angels.” 
he squeezes your neck from behind at your response. your eyes rolls back as you continue to fuck yourself down onto him in severity. a slutty sound leaving you with every kiss of his dick to your cervix. 
“yes,” he pulls you back down to his face. his hand is still tight around your neck, borderline suffocating in pressure. “and he sent one to me too.” he feels your pussy pulse around him, signaling you’re close to cumming. “he sent you to me. but instead of learning a lesson i became obsessed just as my thoughts.” jake always had a dangerous personality, hiding inside of him. his obsessions becoming an illness was nothing he should be shocked by. or maybe it’s the other way around and he was always sick so he became it. “i so badly wanted you to be my savior… to tell me lies of purity and goodness.” he feels his cock throb, aching to release. he chases the feeling of pure want, pounding relentlessly into you. 
“open your mouth,” he demands with a low growl. you listen without a second thought and he spits into it. his saliva meeting your tongue only to be swallowed down. 
he pressed a kiss to your lips while you cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure as you cum. your body collapses on top of his like an act of defeat. your breathing so ragged and lungs suffering; jake releases his hold on your neck only to use both hands on your hips to bounce your body on him. 
while your body makes small quivers in overstimulation, jake groans loudly as he cums inside of you. as you feel the deep warmth coat your insides, a sense of drowsiness takes over you. 
“i feel like a besotted rot has taken over me, and it’s been growing evermore since i met you.” he whispers, relaxing his body flat against the bed. with you still on top of him and his cock still buried in you with his seed, he hugs you. “it’s killing me from the inside out. you’re going to kill me. i can feel it.” 
the quiet and gentle honesty of his fearful ending confession lulls you to sleep. 
he continues to fuck you until he’s too tired to not. 
     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝     ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝
  when you wake up the next morning, you feel your entire body is in pain. there’s a throbbing pain in your head, a dull strain in your neck, and a heavy ache in between your legs. 
you sigh as you sit your body up, hands place slightly behind you at your sides. you make slow circles of your head to stretch your neck muscles. there’s a pang of sharp pain for a split second but you relax once reversing the movements around. 
with lazy eyes, you scan the surroundings of the bedroom. the sun shines bright through the thin lace, white curtains. the clock reads that it is half past 10 in the morning. on the white, wooden night stand beside the bed is a note, a cup of water, and a plate of cut up fruit that has probably been out longer than intended. the door is slightly cracked open and the cold, heavy weight is missing from around your ankle. 
you stretch your arms and back before leaning over to chug down the glass of water. you think of eating the fruit presented for you, but decide on not. it's hard to have an appetite these days. 
you move yourself to sit at the end of the bed, legs and feet dangling off the mattress. you realize how quiet the house is. normally, jake is always with you when he’s home. if he’s working from home then he is next to you, or at least at the desk with his work laptop. but it’s saturday, so why would he be working? 
“jake!” you call out his name, but there is no response. your voice doesn’t sound like normal, it’s rough. you call for him again and still there is nothing. only layla comes up the stairs to push past the door. she too looks confused. 
you look outside the large window next to the bed and realize that his car isn’t there either. 
you look back to the nightstand, remembering there was a note left for you. you pick it up and read: had to run out. i will be back soon. rest and eat well, angel. 
with the note in your hand, you squeeze your hand into a fist, crushing and crinkling the paper in your palm. you stare at the destroyed paper, enclasped in your hand, before releasing your fist and letting it fall to the floor. 
the sound of a car driving makes you turn around. you don’t know if it’s annoyance or ease that washes over you. but once your eyes see the car, you know that it’s neither. because it’s not jake’s car that you see outside. you can recognize it’s one from the other night though. 
you’re quick to stand up and make your way over to the side of the clear glass. you peek over the side of the window, suddenly not comfortable to be seen. is it because you know jake isn’t here? your heart rate picks up rather quick, along with a feeling of anxiety. who is here? why? 
a tall man with dark, brownish.. no reddish hair, steps out of the now parked vehicle. he glances around before jogging over to the side of the house. you furrow your brows in confusion, wondering what he could be doing. you bite at your lip, trying to look around the house as much as the window allows.
then you walk over to the bedroom door and close it quietly, leaving you and layla inside. you lean your back to the door and slide down to the floor. your ear presses against the wood, listening to anything that you can. there isn’t much to be heard for a minute or so. and then there is. there’s a landing thud from somewhere downstairs. a clashing of objects hit the floor with it. something like a glass bowl or cup, if you had to assume. you can tell it’s coming from the kitchen based on the direction alone. 
your heart beats harder now and you don’t even realize how your hands hold a small tremble. you’re frozen in place; you don’t know what to do. jake always tells you what to do. he tells how to handle situations, how to react, how to respond. 
the footsteps of the intruder are rushed. quick feet move through the house and up to the stairs, only to stop right outside the door that you’re in front of. you feel a dangerous panic coarse through you, and unknown to you, you’re holding your breath as if it could give you away. 
seconds feel like minutes followed by a knock at the door. it’s slow and just as scared as you are. 
you place your hands over your mouth, silencing yourself from uttering a sound or a word. meanwhile layla lets out a guarded growl. you shake your head as you look at her, as if she could understand the notion. 
“i know you’re in there. i’m here… i’m here to help you.” the voice is sweet, familiar. it’s a friend of jake that’s been here before. he must have been the one who stayed longer than he should’ve last night. 
for some reason, you still remain silent. why would he come back? 
“i don’t know what exactly is going on between you two, but i know when something isn’t right. and jake isn’t…” his voice goes soft. he’s worried and nervous. 
“he isn’t what?” heeseung hears your melodic voice, weak yet defensive. 
“can you open the door? i don’t know how much time we have.” the door knob turns but doesn’t push open. it’s not locked. you both know it, but neither of you bring yourself to break the barrier. 
you stand from the door, your legs uneasy as if a baby fawn learning to walk. you grab the door handle with a timid hand. you turn it slowly and pull back the door just a crack. you look up with wide eyes. you’re face to face with someone other than jake for the first time in what feels like forever. someone is finally seeing you, talking to you, acknowledging your existence. why isn’t it as exciting as you anticipated? 
heeseung gapes at your disheveled appearance. his eyes quick to find the many bruises that litter your body, from your neck to your arms and legs. then to the scarred bite mark that’s discolored and horrid along your shoulder. and lastly over your face: dry, bitten lips and dark circles around your sad eyes. “i’m sorry.” is all heeseung can say. you think his voice sounds disappointed. 
“why? it’s not like you did anything.” you pull the door open a little more, unintentionally though. it furthered the exposure of the room when your hand pulled back to wrap around yourself. your eyes scan over his face, taking in the up close new appearance. you think he’s very cute for a second before a dread of guilt becomes you. you wrap your arms tighter around your midriff, as if to conceal what you’ve begged to be seen. you avert your eyes from his, suddenly embarrassed. 
heeseung steps into the room, and you step back. your eyes watch his feet. it feels like you weren’t given the permission to look at him; like you’ve already overstepped jake’s boundaries and broken his rules by seeing and speaking what you already have. yet your heart races with adrenaline. 
“that’s the problem. i didn’t do anything the minute i knew something was wrong.” 
it’s nice to hear something rational for once.  
“i tried to come up with some sort of plan as soon as i could. he left and i found his keys,” you immediately look up at heeseung when he mentions the object you fantasize about. keys. unlocked cage. freedom. “i figured the kitchen window would be the less susceptible.” he attempts a laugh but it’s clearly full of nerves. his eyes dart from you to the outside window. it reminds you of yourself. that feeling of waiting for jake, always mixed with too many emotions to really decipher. 
“but for real, you need to get a jacket and shoes on. we have to leave right now.” heeseung deadpans. his eyes watching yours that refuse to look back. you just stand still in the room, shaking like a leaf in the wind. your focus trained to the floor, spacing out from the scenario. 
“is this real?” your voice is quiet, unsure. “did jake put you up to this to test me? i don’t want to cause more trouble with him. i don’t like when he’s…”
heeseung begins to frantically search the room. he goes to the closet and shifts through the hanging clothes for the thickest jacket he can find. he grabs a big one with faux fur lining and heavy material, “put this on. where are your socks?” he hands it to you but you just hold it low in your hands, letting it hit the floor. he opens drawers of the dresser nearby, finding a pair of socks. 
still spacing out, feeling dreamlike, you sit down at the edge of the bed. the large winter coat still hands in your fingers, half over your lap and exposed legs. 
heeseung crouches down in front of you with socks in hand and a pair of boots by his side. he looks up at you with despairing eyes, but you just watch the floor below him. i should sweep the floors. there’s dog hair and dust everywhere. 
trepidatious, large and unknown hands pick up your foot. the cold fingers brush over your abused ankle. a sick feeling of flutters fills your stomach, you jerk your leg back from his touch. this isn’t right. something like a stray cat who doesn’t let strangers touch. 
“what happened to this?” he lightly taps the bone, “you need to see a doctor.” he tries again but faster this time. gentle hands pulling the sock over your foot and then the other. next he reaches for the boots to put your feet into. “come on, get the jacket on.” he says as he stands, a hand reaching out to you. you stand from the bed and ignore the offered gesture. 
you take a few steps forward and stop. heeseung takes notice of the slight limp in your walk. his eyes follow the floor from your feet and that's when he sees it. the long silver chain that’s attached to the bedpost, mounted to the floorboards. 
“jesus fucking christ…” he exhales, taking the coat from your hands to put it on you himself. 
“i used to try and break that whenever i had the chance, but i ended up hurting myself in the process.” you laugh a little. he sees your blank stare and lost smile. “he would ice my ankle for me though. and he wrapped it up, changing the bandages everyday when it was worse.” 
“i’m gonna get you somewhere safe.” heeseung promises, taking your hand in his own to lead you to the door. “you won’t have to live like this anymore, okay? do you have more family somewhere, someone we could call?” heeseung is doing his best to remain calm, but inside he senses immense uneasiness. you can feel how his palms are sweaty and holding too tight of you. you don’t like it. 
“my parents…” it’s a whisper. he helps you down the stairs and to the kitchen. your heart feels like it's a ticking time bomb set to explode. each beat a warning that screams louder and louder.
“well, how about anyone else.” there’s consternation. 
you stop in your tracks, heeseung tries to pull you forward. his eyes begging to leave through the window he left open for you two. “why anyone else?” you question. you feel heavy again, a boil builds in your body, your heart racing faster than you know it was capable. your breathing becomes quick and panicked. heaves and wheezes now leaving your body. “what? w-what do you m-mean?!” 
“they… jake, he…” heeseung stammers, his head moving side to side in a slow display of sorrow. he reaches out to you, to pull you into a hug of comfort. 
but you just stand there, unbelieving of what the man is trying to imply to you. “no, no… he wouldn’t—” your bottom lip quivers and eyes sting. 
from the corner of your eyes, you see a dark shadow approaching heeseung from behind. a large object hangs high in the air with the shadow. you let out a blood curdling scream, eyes looking past heeseung. the tall man turns his head around before the held object comes crashing down into the back of his head. heeseung drops to the floor in an instant, his hand slipping out of yours. 
it all happened so fast. 
you’re in a fit of panicked sobs now. your eyes can’t look away from the man who tried to help you; the man you didn’t try to believe in. there’s an open gash in his head, bleeding and matting into the hair. you feel sick. 
your attention is removed from the man when a familiar hard grip pulls on your hair. “where the hell did you think you were going!?” jake’s voice is terribly sad, loud and croaking. he’s dragging you back down the hall and up the stairs to your room. 
“i wasn’t going anywhere!” you squirm around trying to look back at him, “i was never going to leave! i swear!” 
jake sits you down at the chair by the desk, his hands place on your shoulders. he looks down at you with disquiet heartache, “you promise?” he’s fixing to cry. you hate when jake cries. 
you nod your head quickly, still having a panic attack, still frightful and overwhelmed. 
jake swallows hard, staring into your eyes. he’s trying to trust your word, and ultimately he just does. he places a long kiss to your forehead. you feel a drop of wetness land against your skin. and you just sit there, watching him leave the room with hands of shaking fists. 
you hear a lot happening downstairs while you’re glued to the chair. there’s loud commotion and aggressive words being passed between the two. heeseung is still alive. they’re fighting. 
unknowing of what to do, you squeeze your eyes shut. you curl your body inwards and cover your ears, gently rocking yourself back and forth to ease your mind of the chaos. this isn’t real. it’s all a bad dream. it’s another bad story you conjured up. 
and then someone yells. a painful, agonizing noise that you can’t disassociate from. it sends shivers through you. you can’t open your eyes, you can’t leave the room. if you don’t see it then it’s not happening, right? 
the clashing of aggression comes to a halt. and the usual eerily silence of the house stands still. 
a few minutes go by. 
you lift your head and open your eyes when you sense the door being weakly pushed open. 
you gasp and stand up, quickly moving over to jake to help him stand up straight instead of leaning on the door. 
“j-jake…” you’re crying, “hey, wha-what happened?” you’re trying to support his weight but it’s too much. you both somehow manage to make it to the bed. did he do it? did he kill heeseung? 
jake is covered in blood and he’s crying too. he simply shakes his head and presses wet kisses your cheek, pulling you down to lay next to him. he can’t say anything. 
confused and scared, you ask him again, but he doesn’t speak yet. he just holds onto you as tight as his body allows. the blood begins to stain your clothes, the bed sheets and blankets.
he breathes a ragged sigh, looking at you with wet, thick lashes, “i thought god hated me. ya know, for making me the way i am and expecting me to follow him.” he coughs, turning his head away from you, hiding. “but why would he hate me and still give you to me?” he laughs with a small cough, he feels his mouth tinge with metallic iron. 
you watch from the side of his face, crying quietly. then you feel it. the warm, seeping of thick liquid spilling onto you. your eyes track down your body and his, landing on the gash of his shirt. an open wound punctured in his side. a wrecked sound slips past your lips with your cries. 
“even if it was a punishment, you’ll always just be an angel to me.” his head turns back to face you, his mouth painted red with slips of blood passing the corners of his smile. 
you push yourself from his hug, crazed to find some material to wrap around jake and stop the bleeding. but he pulls you back to him, his eyes closing. “h-hey, hey. stop, it’s okay. just hold me close a little longer.” and you do. through all your whimpers, hiccups, and tears. you wrap your entire body into him, legs entangled and arms wrapped never this tight around him before. 
eve was made from adam’s rib. so is it really your fault for wanting to crawl inside the man you’re closest to? 
jake’s breathing is starting to become dangerously slow, along with the pulse of his heartbeat. 
heeseung, who managed to crawl his way up the stairs, waits outside the door. blood is dripping down his face and neck from his head. he coughs, grabbing your attention. 
you sit up just enough to not let go of jake, swollen eyes watching heeseung sit at the edge of the stairs. his body is struggling to stay upward, he wobbles and sways. his eyes not able to stay open. he asks you if you could drive them to the hospital, in hopes that there is still time to save them. 
you don’t take the risk of losing the only family you have left, so you do what he asks.  
  time passes by in a blur. you end up back at house a day later to take care of layla. jake and heeseung are still in the hospital. you don’t know who will recover or die first.
when you return to the house, you do all the things that jake would normally do. you take layla outside for a walk around the house. you make sure she has food and water. you make yourself a meal that will be left untouched. 
and then you trudge up to your room and you crawl into the blood stained bed. you attach the metal cuff to your ankle, and lay there in silence. you think of praying but end up crying yourself to sleep instead. 
the first man you knew to really sin, not just true nor venially but mortally sin, you can’t help but want to wait for the return of. to be damned with him may be his punishment and your fate, but whatever happens is in gods hands now. maybe it doesn’t really matter anyways because you’ll be his attic angel, always.
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awkwardandeccentric · 2 days ago
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I want some scenes were Blitz comes to understand how stifled Stolas really was. That he’s not Like This out of his own free will.
I want Blitz to see Stolas genuinely shook that he can turn down an invitation and it not turn into a huge thing that will bite him in the ass.
I want Stolas to be happy that Millie and Moxxie actually like their clothes instead of wearing whatever their ‘superior’ demands (Andrealphus picked out that ugly-ass Royal outfit I will hear nothing else)
I want Stolas to have a moment of panic when someone asks what his hobbies are and Blitz answers for him and Stolas didn’t know what the right answer was supposed to be but for his entire life, it was never ‘botany and books.’
I just want Blitz to know that Stolas is going to need adjusting to more than doing his own chores. He’s literally going to need to adjust to having autonomy.
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purplecrimson · 1 day ago
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This made me think a lot about my own experience with non-queer people, thank you for both of your posts @genderqueerdykes and @kithpendragon ^^
As a (very) young queer adult who is still hiding from their aphobic and transphobic family, I am really glad I had queer friends who helped me out and comforted me during my childhood and my teenage years.
My experiences with cishet people of my generation were more mixed: while most women (/ girls depending on their age at that time) seemed to genuinely care about me and tried to understand the problems I was facing, I could not meet a cishet man who was an ally; in fact, I heard the most transphobic sh*t while trying to do so, and some of it came from one of my friends, which really hurt me (and I couldn't even stand up for myself, I was too weak...). Therefore, I started growing bitter towards all cishet men, which even resulted in me disliking myself for being transmasc. Online spaces I was in did not help me dealing with this insecurity.
But in September 2023, upon entering higher education, I met a professor - a cishet man - who has been making a difference in my life, by being kind-hearted, compassionate and thoughtful. Some gushing incoming :D
He was the first person outside of my friend circle I dared coming out to. I sent him a shy email asking if I could change my name and pronouns without the academic institution telling my parents, even if it was not technically authorised (I was still a minor). He had a perfect reaction, informed all of the other professors and offered his help in case someone decided to be transphobic.
But he did not just treat me decently. He went out of his way (even when he did not have to) to make my life as comfortable as it could be as a trans person, ensuring, for example, that I was misgendered in the least possible amount of documents. And when I was feeling scared or sad, I knew I could talk to him about it - he would always listen. Heck, he even called me during last summer holydays, even if he is not my professor anymore, when he somehow learnt that I was depressed and ready to quit my studies.
And of course, he is a brilliant, charismatic, motivating and captivating professor - everyone loves him. I ended up realising he made me want to become a researcher or a professor in his field, which gave me back some hope and energy. And I often come back to his classroom to chat or ask him for some advice - his door is always open. He is also rather skilled in reminding me that I should be more self-confident!
One could say he saved me, without knowing it. I don't think he has any idea how much of an impact he's had on my life. I am still trying to find a way to thank him, to tell him how much I admire and look up to him before I move to a university far away. I can't even begin to word it.
Weirdly, the fact that he is a cishet man has been sticking in my head too. Now, I understand why: I guess he gives me back hope from a more political point of view too, and makes me feel less shameful to say that yes, I am transmasc (even if I still have to work on this...).
i feel like the entire online queer community collectively forgot, or rather pretends that queer allies don't exist. like. we literally have a term and even a flag for queer allies. they exist. assuming every single perisex cishet person hates queer people isn't the way to go. allies are a very real and important part of our community. allies challenge the status quo by saying, i'm not queer, but i support what you're doing. they exist. they're out there- and yes, many of them are cishet men.
please don't forget this, or pretend that they don't exist: allies are an extremely important part of our history, community, and safety.
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mggslover · 3 days ago
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How the Unsub Stole Christmas ❆
A Holiday to Remember: part 2
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In which the BAU's holiday getaway takes a dark turn when a family is found murdered on Christmas, forcing the team to investigate while reader struggles with painful memories of her past and her growing, unspoken feelings for Spencer Reid.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!bau!reader Genre: crime, angst, smut (18+), fluff, found family Content warnings: graphic cm case descriptions!!, mentions of shitty childhood, reader getting in some unsub trouble, oral (f receiving), p in v sex. Word count: 9k 🫣 i swear it reads really fast A/n: read part 1 first! writing this story genuinely brought me so much joy, and i hope you will experience the same while reading this. this will be my last fic for the year 2024, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support, i can't wait to see what the new year will bring for this blog. don't forget to interact with this post if you've enjoyed! 🎄🤍 dividers by @issysh3ll
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It shouldn’t have surprised you that you’d be called out for another case. Still, the disappointment lingered thick in the air.
“It was fun while it lasted,” Garcia murmured softly, her tone sad. JJ wrapped an arm around her, bringing her in for a side hug. “Don’t worry,” she reassured gently. “The trip isn’t over yet.”
Penelope seemed satisfied enough with that answer, but then spoke up again. “I don’t want to stay here on my own. It’s spooky knowing someone got murdered just miles away.”
“You can come with us to the station. Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss and Y/L/N, you’ll head to the crime scene. A deputy will be waiting for you there.” Hotch instructed. 
You exhaled softly and gave a brief nod. Spencer glanced over at you, his eyes filled with that quiet empathy you’d come to recognize over the years.
“Good luck,” he said, his voice low but sincere.
“Thanks,” you replied, your words equally soft. “You too.”
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Half an hour later, you arrived at the crime scene. The neighborhood was so small it hardly felt like one—just a handful of houses scattered across large, snow-dusted plots of land. It looked peaceful, almost idyllic, as if nothing could ever disturb the calm. The street was adorned with Christmas lights and festive decorations. The only thing slightly out of place was a crack in the bench beside one of the houses. Otherwise, the neighborhood looked like it had stepped right out of a holiday card.
As you stepped out of the car, you noticed the few neighbors who hadn’t yet been driven inside by the cold. They stood in clusters in front of their homes, bundled up in scarves and coats, watching the scene unfold with cautious curiosity.
You looked over at Prentiss. “We should start doing some interviews—maybe send a few of them over to the station.”
She nodded, her expression focused. “Got it.” Without another word, she made her way toward them.
You followed Rossi and Derek toward the red wooden house, where the Deputy awaited by the front door. He looked young—probably around your age. 
Rossi introduced you to Deputy Wilson. Wilson gave a sheepish smile, “Sorry it’s just me. Almost the whole department is unavailable because of the holidays.”
“Convenient timing for a murder,” you mused.
“The scene’s been left as it was when we found it,” Wilson continued. “The back door’s been forced open, and you can see boot prints in the snow leading to the backyard.”
Morgan immediately stepped forward. “I’ll get a shot of those prints for Garcia,” he said, already heading toward the backyard.
Wilson looked at you and Rossi. “You want to take a look inside?”
You paused before heading in, shaking the snow from your boots and making sure not to use the doormat—the one engraved with the names of the family members. It felt wrong, almost disrespectful, to dirty the only thing that might be left of them. 
You took in a sharp breath as you entered the house. Your gaze was first taken by the large Christmas tree standing in the corner of the living room, decorated in red and gold. But then you noticed the bloody mess underneath it. Four bodies—two adults and two children—lay scattered on the floor, broken Christmas ornaments surrounding them, as though the killer had dropped them carelessly after his violent act. The mother and father were draped over each other, their throats slit cleanly. The teenage daughter, too, had her throat cut, but her body was twisted in a way that didn’t seem accidental. The small boy—no older than ten—was slumped between them, his face frozen in an expression of terror, a look that would haunt you for days.
The scene before you was a sickening parody of a perfect Christmas. But the most disturbing part wasn’t the carnage—it was their faces. Each of them wore a grotesque, unnerving smile, painted onto their lips in blood. It was a mockery of joy, an image of happiness forced onto the dead.
You felt a wave of nausea rise in your throat and turned away, needing a moment to breathe. It was then that you noticed the walls, once filled with smiling family photos were now smeared with blood. Shattered frames lay scattered on the floor, as if the killer had intentionally destroyed the family’s history, piece by piece. 
Rossi spoke first. “The unsub who stole Christmas,” he mused, his tone almost playful despite the grim reality.
You gave a sharp exhale, a brief scoff escaping your lips. “Yeah, you could say that.”
You put on your gloves and picked up a shattered picture frame from the floor. You handed it to Rossi without a word. He took it, studying it for a moment before speaking again. “One thing’s for sure—this wasn’t just a murder. This is deeply personal.”
You nodded, scanning the room. The starkness of the crime scene was still sinking in, but your mind was already running through the facts. “The execution was meticulous,” you murmured, your gaze flickering over the room, “but the aftermath... messy. The unsub rushed out of here—didn’t even bother closing the back door behind him, and those footprints? Almost like he didn’t care at all about leaving evidence. We might even get lucky and find DNA on the bodies.”
Rossi considered it. “It could be that he was in a hurry. In a small neighborhood like this, people will notice anything out of the ordinary. He probably knew he had to move fast.”
You hummed in return. “It still doesn’t add up. You can’t plan a murder with this much detail and then completely overlook how to cover your tracks afterward.”
You took another slow turn around the room, examining the details. Every piece seemed to add to the strange puzzle, but none of it fit together. As you passed the fireplace, something caught your eye: a piece of paper tucked into one of the stockings. You reached for it carefully, your fingers brushing the corner stained with blood.
You unfolded it with precision, revealing the scrawled words in black ink. The sentence was short and written in Latin, a language you hadn’t encountered in years. You stared at it, furrowing your brow as you tried to make sense of it.
“You wouldn’t happen to know Latin, would you?” You asked Rossi, half-joking, though the seriousness in your voice remained.
Rossi looked up, his expression a mix of confusion and dry humor. “Does it look like I know Latin?”
You smiled, already pulling your phone out of your pocket and speed dialing Spencer. As the phone rang, you turned your attention back to the paper, the blood spatter still making your stomach turn.
“Hey,” you breathed out as he picked up the phone after the second ring.
“Hey,” Spencer replied. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft with concern, your single syllable being enough for him to decipher how you feel.
You glanced over your shoulder at the murdered family, swallowing hard before turning away. “I will be,” you responded. Once that fucker is behind bars.
You straightened, pushing the thoughts away, and focused on the task at hand. “I’ve just found a piece of paper at the crime scene. It’s a text written in Latin. I figured it’d be quicker to ask you than wait for Garcia to look it up.”
Spencer hummed in acknowledgment. “Good call. What does it say?”
You glanced at the paper again, stumbling slightly over the unfamiliar words. “Nunc sciunt te perfectum non esse.”
There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line before Spencer spoke, his voice calm but precise. “Nunc sciunt te perfectum non esse. ‘Now they know you’re not perfect.’” His perfect Latin pronunciation made you wince at how poorly you’d read it.
“What’s that supposed to mean? A taunt?”
Spencer’s voice was thoughtful. “Sounds like he’s trying to prove something. It’s definitely personal.”
You exchanged a look with Rossi, who was standing nearby, holding the broken picture frame. “Yeah, that’s what we’ve been thinking. Whoever this unsub is, he knows the Reynolds family intimately.”
“Garcia’s already digging into the family’s background,” Spencer replied without missing a beat, already a step ahead.
“Good,” you muttered, relief washing over you for a moment. “How are things going over there?”
“JJ’s been trying to reach family, but they don’t live nearby,” Spencer answered. “A snowstorm hit. I’ve been tracking the meteorological data, and the chances of them making it are close to zero.” 
You nodded, a dull ache settling in your chest. “Well, I’m going to keep looking around here. The bodies will be picked up soon to go to the lab, and then I’ll be heading over to the station.”
“Alright,” Spencer replied, his tone warmer now. “I’ll see you there. Be careful.”
“Always am,” you said, offering a small smile even though he couldn’t see it.
The words on the note kept drifting through your mind. Maybe it was the sentiment that came with Christmas—or maybe it was the fact that, up until now, you were having a perfect holiday, something you never thought you’d get to experience—that made the scene remind you of your childhood. How everything looked so joyous from the outside, especially during the holidays. But if you looked closely, you’d see the cracks. The ornaments on the tree, hastily glued together, their edges jagged and uneven. The hole in the wall, cleverly concealed behind your stocking. 
You were probably overthinking it. After all, it wasn’t the family that was broken like yours was—it was the unsub who had shattered their picture-perfect life.
Rossi’s voice broke through your thoughts. “You okay, kid?”
You blinked, pulling yourself out of the past and into the present. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get out of here.”
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You and Rossi walked into the secluded room the Sheriff had arranged for the team, exchanging your findings with Morgan and Prentiss along the way. You’d made a quick stop at a Chinese takeaway to grab food for everyone, knowing the team needed fuel for the long hours ahead.
The rest of the team was already seated around the table, and Reid was in the middle of showing Hotch something on the map of the neighborhood.
“Oh, you guys are the best!” Penelope sighed, her voice full of appreciation as she caught sight of the plastic bags you were carrying.
“We couldn’t leave you to go hungry,” Emily responded with a grin.
You took a seat closest to where Spencer was standing, and he naturally slid into the chair beside you. You reached into the bag and pulled out the only plastic fork, knowing he’d struggle with chopsticks. He flashed you a grateful, closed-lip smile as he took it from you.
Once everyone had filled their plates, the conversation turned back to the case.
“Garcia dug up some useful info,” JJ began. “Stephen Reynolds owned a construction company that’s on the verge of going bankrupt. It’s possible the unsub was an employee who got fired—or was cut loose because the company couldn’t afford him anymore.”
“It seems like the whole family was targeted,” you added, leaning forward. “The note was left in one of the children’s stockings. It doesn’t feel like the murder was just directed at Stephen.”
“That’s why we need to find out more about the Reynolds family outside of their neighborhood,” Hotch said. “The employees at the construction company could have insight. It’s clear the neighbors aren’t going to give us much.”
Rossi’s eyes narrowed, a skeptical look on his face. “Did they really not give you anything? The neighbors, I mean.”
Prentiss shook her head. “Nothing useful. They kept insisting that the Reynolds’s were a perfect family. They even seemed offended when I pressed for more.”
“That doesn’t sit right. The note specifically mentioned how the Reynolds’s are not perfect.” Rossi replied. 
“I gotta give it to them, though,” Garcia chimed in. “The Reynolds’s are model citizens. The parents were both heavily involved in charity, and the kids have won multiple prizes in spelling bees and other competitions.”
“Has anything bad ever happened in that neighborhood?” Morgan asked, clearly skeptical about the idea of perfection.
Penelope clicked away on her laptop. “Well, there was a fire in one of the houses about ten years ago, because of damaged Christmas lights.” She made a sad face as she continued searching. “Oh, and a cat got stuck in a tree once… didn’t make it.”
“What happened to the family in the house?” Spencer asked.
Penelope’s fingers paused over the keys. “Uh, let me see… The Eriksens died from smoke inhalation. Oh… this is sad. They left a child, Christopher Eriksen. He was put into foster care when he was just eight.”
“Did the Reynolds’s live there when that happened?” JJ asked.
“Yeah, they did. Actually, they organized a fundraiser to build a bench with the parents’ names engraved on it, in their memory.”
You felt your pulse quicken at the mention of the bench. Something about it seemed strangely familiar, but you couldn’t trust your mind right now—not with everything still scattered from the case, and the ghosts of your past tugging at the edges of your thoughts.
You could feel Spencer’s gaze on you, but you decided to ignore it, keeping your focus on Hotch as he spoke up. 
“It’s best if we head back to the cabin to rest up,” he said. “Tomorrow’s going to be a long day, and the station’s closing tonight so everyone can spend time with their families.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, the relief of getting some rest evident on their faces. But as the team began gathering their things, you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that had settled in your chest. You hated the idea of putting the case on hold, even if it was just for the night. The face of that little boy kept haunting your thoughts, his wide eyes silently pleading for answers, for peace. You couldn’t help but feel like you were letting him down.
Spencer’s hand snakes up on your shoulder, his warm hold holding you in place. His lips barely moved as he mouthed, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you whispered, shaking your head.
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The entire car ride had been silent. Spencer’s gaze would occasionally flicker over to you in the backseat, but you kept your eyes fixated on the road, watching the scenery blur past.
The silence stretched on as you said your goodnights to the rest of the team and walked toward your shared room with Spencer. As you both got ready for bed, there was an unspoken tension hanging in the air. Now, lying in the king-sized bed, you both stared up at the ceiling, the quiet stillness between you thick with unspoken words.
“When are we finally going to talk about what’s wrong?” Spencer’s voice broke the silence, careful but insistent.
You stayed quiet for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts. “Nothing’s wrong,” you replied, your words coming out a little too quickly.
“There’s obviously something wrong,” he pressed gently. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
“I know,” you answered, your voice softer now, more honest. Usually, Spencer never had to press. There was something about him—something warm and patient—that made it easy to open up, to share your thoughts without fear of judgment. But this time, it felt different. It wasn’t just the case. It felt personal, something you couldn’t fully explain.
“I don’t know what’s wrong,” you said, thinking aloud. “It’s just… something’s off. And I don’t know if it’s just me.”
“What do you feel?” His question was quiet, but his concern was clear.
You hesitated. “It sounds stupid,” you muttered, brushing it off.
“Nothing you could say would sound stupid to me.” His words, soft and sincere, made your chest tighten with warmth. You turned your head to look at him, noticing the closeness between you, the way his gaze lingered on you.
“You thought it was stupid that I shower at 115 degrees,” you said with a playful smile.
Spencer let out a soft chuckle, the tension easing just a little. “I don’t think it’s stupid that you like it,” he said, his voice gentle. “I just think it’s stupid that you’d risk hurting yourself over it.”
His eyes warmly looked at you. One hand rested underneath his pillow as he lay on his side. You turned toward him, mirroring his position.
"I’m really struggling with this case," you softly admitted, trying to keep eye contact, though your gaze flickered down, betraying the weight of your words.
“Was it hard seeing the crime scene?”
"Yeah," you choked out, your throat tight. You blinked quickly to try to stop the tears that threatened to spill. “It was... it was horrible.”
His hand reached out to gently rub your bare arm under the blanket. "It’s completely normal to feel affected by what you saw," he began, his voice steady but laced with the kind of empathy that only someone like him could offer. "Witnessing something as violent and horrific as the bodies of two children—it’s traumatic. The brain processes trauma in complex ways, especially when it involves young victims. According to studies in neuropsychology, traumatic experiences, particularly those involving children, can cause the brain to release a surge of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This flood of chemicals can lead to acute emotional responses, such as anxiety and flashbacks.”
“I’ve been experiencing flashbacks,” you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. You met his gaze, looking for reassurance, and he gave you the space to speak, waiting patiently. “It actually started earlier today, when we arrived at the cabin. I’ve never experienced a Christmas like this, you know, the kind that feels warm and joyful. I- I don’t know if I’m making connections that aren’t there, but the feeling I had in that house was the same feeling I used to get when I was growing up.”
He tilted his head. "What feeling?"
“...Jealousy.”
His eyebrows knitted. “Jealousy?”
You nodded, swallowing hard, gathering your thoughts. “You could feel so much rage in there. Everything that made the home feel homey—that warmth, that love—was completely shattered. The way the unsub positioned the family members under the Christmas tree, the way the note was tucked into the stocking… There’s a reason for it. Christmas represents this idealized view of perfection. I don’t think the message was to prove that the company going bankrupt is some sort of imperfection in the family’s picture-perfect life. No, it feels like the unsub was jealous of their happiness. Of the fact that they had a family who seemed perfect—something he never had. He wanted to destroy it. To ruin their happiness. He could never have it, so he shattered the illusion of perfection entirely.”
Spencer was quiet for a moment, processing your words. “So you think the Reynolds’s were targeted as surrogates?”
“I guess so. But you don’t just stumble across a neighborhood as desolate as theirs.” you responded.
“It could still be one of the employees of the construction company. If Stephen bragged about his perfect family to the wrong person, it could have triggered something.”
You hummed in agreement, but Spencer could see there was more on your mind. He raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
“As I got older, I learned that blaming others wasn’t going to make me feel any better about my situation. It’s like the unsub hasn’t realized that yet. The way he executed this crime—it’s almost like a child throwing a tantrum. He was so meticulous in setting everything up, and then once he got what he wanted, he just… walked away. There was no care for the aftermath, no consideration of what would happen afterward.”
“Do you think the unsub could still be a child?” he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.
Your mind clicked, and for the first time, the puzzle pieces seemed to fit together. “How old was the kid when he was put into foster care?" You asked, already knowing the answer.
“Eight. Why?” Spencer's confusion was evident.
“It’s been ten years since that house caught fire. That would make him eighteen now, and—"
Spencer’s eyes widened as realization struck. “And that he just got out of foster care.”
"Exactly," you said, rolling out of bed and storming downstairs.
“Hey! Where are you going?” Spencer called after you, quickly grabbing his cardigan from the chair in the corner of the room before hurrying to catch up.
“Be quiet, I don’t want to wake anyone.” You instructed, feeling Spencer’s presence behind you as you moved toward the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” he hissed in a whisper as you opened Garcia’s laptop on the table. You didn’t respond, your fingers already flying over the keys as you settled into a chair.
Spencer huffed, knowing full well there was no stopping you once your mind was set. He hovered behind you, draping the cardigan over your shoulders. “I’m not covering for you if Garcia finds out,” he warned, glancing over your shoulder at the screen.
“That’s fine. I know exactly what to say to win her over,” you said nonchalantly, clicking away. In your mind, the image of Spencer in the shower was still vivid—a story you could easily use to distract Penelope if it came to that.
You paused, your heart skipping a beat as you found the file. “Here it is,” you muttered, eyes scanning the information on Christopher Eriksen. You clicked to open it fully, Spencer already reading ahead of you.
“They found bruises all over his body when he was put into foster care,” he read aloud, his voice tense as the words sank in.
You leaned forward, your breath catching. “This is it,” you murmured. “His parents— they must’ve bought into that ‘perfect family’ image of the neighborhood, but behind closed doors, they were hiding this. Can you imagine what it must’ve been like for him? Everyone thinking his parents were saints, while they were hurting him? All the while, they’re the ones who get a memorial bench, their lives celebrated while they tortured him.”
“It was on Christmas that he was put into foster care. Now, it’s the first Christmas since he’s been out. It makes sense to go back to the place where it all started,” Spencer concluded.
“I need to go there,” you said urgently, slamming the laptop shut.
“Have you lost your mind?!” Spencer asked, bewildered. He immediately followed you as you rushed to the door, still in your pajamas. “You’re not seriously planning on going out like that?”
“It’s just a quick peek. I need to see if I was right about the bench,” you said, almost to yourself, already focused on the task ahead. You didn’t even glance behind you as you pulled on your shoes and yanked open the front door, wrapping Spencer’s cardigan tighter around yourself to ward off the cold.
In moments like these, Spencer knew exactly who had trained you. You were unmistakably like Gideon—determined, single-minded, and often impulsive once your mind was set. And that, in turn, always left Spencer in a state of mild panic.
“You can’t drive at night,” he said, his voice rising with concern as he followed you into the snow-covered yard. “You have nyctalopia!”
You didn’t stop, your focus unwavering. “You should take night-blindness seriously, it takes forever for your pupils to dilate, and by that time, you’ve already missed the stop sign or, I don’t know, hit a pothole or something. Your contrast sensitivity goes down, so objects blend into the background, and—did I mention the glare from headlights? Because that’s a huge problem, and it makes it worse! You’re already having trouble seeing, and now the glare from every car that passes is just blinding you. It's like trying to navigate in a fog, but it’s just light fog, which—okay, that’s a really bad analogy, but you get the point!”
His words fell into the background as you continued walking, your mind fully occupied with proving your theory. The case had been driving you mad. If you could just confirm that the bench was broken—that Christopher was the one who’d done it in a moment of anger—everything would click. The case would be solved. You’d give the Reynolds family peace. And, selfishly, you’d give yourself peace.
“Please,” Spencer begged, now standing in front of the car door, blocking your path. “If you’re going, at least let me drive.”
His comment made you halt in front of the car. “You hate driving,” you pointed out.
“I’d rather be uncomfortable for a few minutes than risk something happening to you,” he admitted.
You stared at him, feeling a surge of gratitude for how much he cared, how he believed your theory and was willing to go along with you. 
You reached out and took his hands. It was a gesture he rarely tolerated from anyone, but you’d learned over the years that Spencer appreciated it when it came from you. You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. “Thanks, Spence,” you said softly, the words simple but your voice full of appreciation.
He swallowed, his eyes softening as he nodded. “We’ll just take a quick look, right?”
“I swear,” you promised, a reassuring smile tugging at your lips. “Just a quick look.”
He sighed, still clearly uneasy but unwilling to argue. You handed him the car keys and moved to the passenger side, sliding into the seat. 
—————
Spencer slowed the car as you neared the familiar area, the headlights casting long shadows over the snowy driveway.
"Let’s stop the car here," you suggested. The thought crossed your mind just in time—it would be very inappropriate to drive into a quiet neighborhood with an unknown car at this hour, especially after a murder had taken place.
You and Spencer stepped out of the car, the cold biting at your skin as you walked side by side. You stayed close to him, partly to keep warm, partly to follow his tracks through the snow, the dark pressing in around you. The Christmas lights that had lit up the neighborhood earlier were now off, leaving everything shrouded in an eerie quiet.
You made your way to the bench. Your hand skimmed over the smooth wood, lingering on the top right corner where you felt a distinct break—something sharp and jagged where a piece had clearly been broken off. You exhaled in relief. You were right.
Spencer’s hand shot out to gently grab your wrist, his fingers warm against the cold night air. "Careful," he said, his voice low but insistent. "You don’t want splinters. Stay here, I’ll grab a flashlight from the car."
You nodded, watching as his footsteps faded into the distance, swallowed by the thick darkness around you.
Alone now, you scanned the area. Everything was still and silent, save for the occasional crunch of snow beneath your feet. Your eyes were drawn to a dim light flickering from inside the rebuilt house where the Eriksens used to live, just past the bench. Curiosity nudged you forward, and before you could second-guess yourself, your feet were already moving toward the light.
You crept closer to the window, standing on your toes to peer inside. The house was barely furnished, still very much in the process of being worked on before it could be sold. You pressed your hands against the cold glass, forming makeshift goggles with your fingers, your face just inches away from the window as you tried to get a better look.
A sudden pressure on your stomach snapped you out of your thoughts. Before you could react, an arm tightened around your waist, yanking you away from the glass. For a brief moment you thought Spencer was playing some kind of prank, trying to startle you—but the movement was so fast and forceful, you knew Spencer would never grab you that aggressively.
Your gasp caught in your throat, immediately silenced as a cold, rough hand clamped over your mouth. Panic surged, but your body went stiff when the sharp edge of a knife pressed to your throat. You didn’t need any further confirmation that this was the unsub.
"I don’t know who you are," the voice rasped, low and dangerous, his breath hot and heavy in your ear. "But you shouldn’t have shown up here."
The tension in his voice was unmistakable. You could feel his rage, his plan disrupted by your unexpected presence. Every instinct screamed at you to fight back, but you remained frozen, knowing that one wrong move could end it all.
“I didn’t plan on killing anyone innocent, but you’ve put yourself in this situation,” he spat, his grip tightening on the knife.
In that fleeting moment, you made a decision. Taking a leap of faith, you sank your teeth into the soft flesh of his palm. The sudden bite startled him, and by sheer luck, he loosened his grip on the weapon.
“Christopher!” You shouted, the name ringing out with urgency.
It was enough to catch him off guard. In that instant, you turned, quickly positioning yourself with a better angle. He was taller than you—still, just a boy, consumed by something far beyond his control. His pain was evident, lurking beneath the fury in his eyes. You knew this wasn’t what he wanted. 
“Who are you?” His voice was strained, the words gripping with suspicion and confusion.
“I’m here to help you,” you said sincerely, keeping your voice steady.
“No, you’re not,” he denied.
“I swear I am. I know what happened to you. I know what your parents did to you.”
Without warning, he shoved you hard against the house. Your head slammed into the window, a sharp pain exploding in your skull. “You don’t know anything!” he screamed.
“I do, Christopher. I do!” The words came from a place of desperation, your breath ragged. “I understand. I know how much this eats at you, how alone you feel because you’re the only one who knows the truth. But it doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to hurt anyone else. The truth will come out. People will know what your parents did, what really happened here. You’ll get what you want, the world will see that they’re not perfect.”
For a split second, something flickered in his eyes—something soft, vulnerable. 
“They all knew what happened!” He said in anger, pointing at the houses surrounding you. “They all knew and no one said anything!” He shook his head, “I’ll never get what I want. It’s too late for that.” he muttered bitterly.
Despite his words, you felt a flicker of hope. He was talking. He was listening. That had to count for something.
“It’s not too late, Christopher,” you said, your voice gentle but firm. “I thought the same thing once. But family… family isn’t just the people you’re born to. You can build your own, one that will love you despite everything. I’ve got that family now.”
He swallowed hard, his face momentarily flickering with doubt. “I wish I could believe you,” he said, his voice quiet, tinged with regret.
And then, in a flash, his arm shot out. Instinctively, you braced yourself, squeezing your eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable strike.
As the seconds stretched on, memories—both regrets and cherished moments—flashed before your eyes, a cruel reminder of everything you had to lose.
But then, a loud thud echoed in the night. Christopher crumpled to the ground, his body going limp. You whipped your head up, heart in throat, and saw Spencer standing behind him, the butt of his gun covered in blood, the impact of the blow knocking Christopher out cold. 
A shaky breath escaped you, half a sob, half a gasp of relief. You stumbled toward Spencer, your legs nearly giving out as you threw yourself into his arms. 
“I’m so sorry,” you cried into his chest, voice cracking. “I was so stupid. I shouldn’t have—”
He shushed you softly, brushing a hand through your hair as he held you close. “It’s okay. You’re safe now,” he murmured, his voice soft and soothing. “I’m here. You’re safe.”
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Twenty minutes later, the team and the police arrived. Spencer had called Hotch the second you’d calmed down enough, and by the time they got there, Christopher was still passed out. The officers dragged him into the back of their car, while JJ and Prentiss took it upon themselves to reassure the neighbors that they had someone in custody.
You knew exactly what was coming when Hotch finally made his way over to you and Spencer, but your head was pounding too much to care.
Hotch scanned the two of you with a sharp, disapproving look. “Really? You went to catch an unsub in your pajamas?”
“The whole ‘catching the unsub’ thing wasn’t exactly part of the plan,” you muttered, wincing slightly as the headache flared.
Hotch exhaled sharply, then turned to Spencer, his gaze a little more pointed. “I could’ve expected this from her, but I expected better from you, Reid.”
Spencer shifted uncomfortably, knowing there was no defense. “I’m sorry, sir.”
Hotch gave a sigh in response, his expression softening just a fraction. “I’m too tired to deal with the two of you right now. I expect to see both of you in my office in the morning.”
“Actually, I checked all the rooms in the cabin, and there’s no office. Which is surprising, considering—”
“Spence,” you interrupted him with a nudge of your elbow.
He shot you a tight-lipped look, turning back to Hotch. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”
—————
The second you closed the car door behind you and buckled your seatbelt, you passed out. You’d always slept best during car rides, and especially now, with your mind much quieter now that Christopher Eriksen wasn’t your problem anymore.
When you finally arrived back at the cabin, you were still sound asleep. Derek told Spencer to wake you, but he didn’t have it in him. Instead, he carefully made his way to your side of the car, unbuckling your seatbelt. He lifted you into his arms, trying not to huff too loudly as he carried you through the thick snow. He made his way up the stairs quickly, hoping Penelope wouldn’t notice the wet tracks from his boots inside the house—he couldn’t take them off while holding you.
He was glad you were in your pajamas as he gently laid you on the bed. He walked over to the closet, grabbing some extra blankets and draping them over you, hoping it would help you regain some warmth.
Then, he crawled into bed beside you. Closer than he would’ve dared if you were awake, not quite touching, but close enough to share body heat. His gaze lingered on you, watching how peaceful you looked. The night had been a lot to handle, but he knew he’d do it all again if it meant keeping you safe.
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The bright light reflected off the snow outside, filtering into the room. Groaning, you rubbed your eyes, the movement only making your headache worse. You huffed and carefully opened your eyes, being met with the sight of Spencer. His hair was a curly mess, and a small, warm smile painted his face.
“Hey, how’s your head?” he asked softly.
The events of last night rushed back to you, and you groaned again. “So, all of that really happened?”
“It did,” Spencer confirmed.
“I really hoped I just got drunk on too much Glühwein,” you sighed, wincing at the thought.
“You can still do that tonight,” he teased.
“No,” you muttered in disgust. “I need to recover from this first.”
You glanced over at him again, seeing the concern still shining in his eyes.
“I’m sorry for putting you in that situation last night,” you said quietly. “Everything about it was just... stupid.”
“If you hadn’t insisted on going, who knows who else he could’ve hurt,” Spencer pointed out.
“I guess that’s true.” You thought about it for a second, the weight lifting slightly. “Still, I shouldn’t have dragged you into it.”
“I’m glad I went with you,” Spencer said, his voice softening. “If I hadn’t... I don’t want to think about what could’ve happened to you. I would never forgive myself if I wouldn’t have been there in time.”
You gave a heavy sigh, turning your gaze to the ceiling. “That’s why it’s probably best we stay friends,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to him. Despite Emily’s pep talk, this was proof that it wouldn’t be wise to start something serious with Spencer.
“Friends instead of what?” Spencer asked, his voice higher, as if eager to hear the answer.
“Instead of us dating,” you said, almost offhandedly, not realizing you were speaking aloud about something you’d never discussed before, even though the topic would come up eventually.
Spencer froze, his eyes wide, hope flickering in them as he looked at you. “You would date me?”
Your heart skipped a beat. You froze too, catching up with the fact that you had said that out loud. Your cheeks warmed, and you immediately turned your gaze to the ceiling, not daring to look at his expression.
“Uh—hypothetically,” you stammered, scrambling to cover your tracks.
“You would hypothetically date me?”
You swallowed, still too flustered to look at him. “Yes. If... you would, I mean. If you wanted that, too...?”
Spencer was silent for a beat, his gaze never leaving you. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes,” you answered, your voice steady despite the racing thoughts in your head.
He slowly moved closer to you, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. You flinched back instinctively, and he immediately withdrew his hand, his expression apologetic.
“What are you doing?” you asked, your heart beating faster.
“You said you’d want to date me,” he murmured, his voice unsure.
“Yes, but—” you stopped yourself as the realization hit that he was planning to kiss you. “Oh.”
Tentatively, you reached out and placed your hand on his cheek. You leaned in a little, but this time it was him who pulled back.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice breathless.
“Kissing you.”
“Oh,” he breathed out, his tongue darting over his lips. “Okay.”
You smiled softly, then closed the distance, your lips gently pressing to his.
Spencer hummed in satisfaction, both of you staying like that for a moment, neither of you wanting to pull away. You were the first to break the kiss, catching your breath. If it were up to Spencer, he’d keep his lips on yours forever.
Your eyes fluttered open, faces still inches apart. Spencer cupped your face and pulled you back in, placing several soft pecks on your lips before he leaned on his arm, slightly hovering over you as he deepened the kiss.
You tried to mirror his movements, but a sharp pain shot through your skull. “Ouch,” you hissed, pulling back.
“Just lay down, let me take care of you,” Spencer assured, the warmth of his words making your heart flutter. You slowly lower yourself onto your back, the soft sheets crinkling beneath you, and Spencer moves above you, the blankets still covering both of you.
His lips found yours again. He kept them slightly parted, giving you the chance to slide your tongue against his. The world outside seemed to disappear as you melted into each other, lips moving in sync.
The kisses become more heated, each one a little deeper than the last. His hand moved to cup your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek, the other hand resting on your side, his touch sending little sparks of warmth wherever it brushed.
You could feel the heat between you growing. “I’m so warm…” you mumbled against his lips. 
His eyes darkened slightly. “Yeah?” His voice was rough as his fingers lightly trailed over the buttons of your pyjama shirt. “Do you want me to take this off?”
You nodded, and he slowly started undoing each button with purposeful care. His gaze flickering between your eyes and the exposed skin. He let out a moan when your shirt finally fell open, his eyes taking you in. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed out in awe, before pressing his lips to yours again. 
You responded eagerly, your hands fumbling between your bodies to undo his shirt in the same way. You slid the fabric off his shoulders, letting your hands run over the muscles of his back, feeling the heat of his skin. 
He gently pressed his body weight down on you, and you shuddered at the feeling of your nipples pressing against his bare chest.
His lips delicately kissed your face, until he reached your ear. He nipped at your lobe, sending a jolt of heat straight to your core. “Do you like that?” he murmured, his breath hot against your skin.
You answered in a soft moan, your body arching into him. He didn’t need to ask again; he could tell you were enjoying this as much as he was.
His lips slid lower, kissing and sucking on your neck, while his hand slid down to cup your breast, his thumb brushing over your nipple in slow, teasing circles.
His mouth moved to your collarbone, and then he teasingly dipped lower.
“God, Spence,” you softly moaned as he placed a wet kiss on your lower stomach. “That feels so good.”
His hand, which has been resting on your breast, trails down until it reaches the waistband of your pyjama pants.
“More, please,” you whimpered, lifting your hips instinctively. His fingers slide around the band as he slowly pulls them down, his eyes drinking in the sight of you.
He lowers himself onto his stomach on the mattress. With a tender touch, he lifts your legs over his shoulders.
“Is this okay?”
For a moment, you’ve lost yourself in his gaze—those warm brown eyes looking up at you, his pink lips swollen from his kisses…
“Y-yeah,” you manage to respond, nodding.
You moaned as his mouth made contact with your inner thighs, his tongue warm and wet against your skin. He took his time, kissing his way to the sensitive spot where you needed him most.
“Spencer…” you breathed, your voice shaky with need.
The anticipation was unbearable as his hot breath tickled you, but you didn’t have to wait much longer. Slowly, his tongue flicked over your pussy, and you gasped, your body trembling at the touch.
He moaned in response, as if he couldn’t get enough of the taste of you, his tongue swirling in soft, teasing motions that had your hips lifting off the bed in search of more. 
“So fucking sweet,” he muttered against you, before repeating the motion, licking you again and again, while he grinded himself against the matress.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, urging him closer, deeper, your body quivering as he continued. He alternated between sucking and licking your clit, his finger moving up and down your pussy until it entered you gently, then slowly adding another, the stretch an overwhelming pleasure. 
You gasped his name, your body writhing beneath him as the pressure built with every move. “Spencer… please, don’t stop…” you begged, voice thick with need.
His fingers curled inside you, pressing just the right spot as his tongue continued swirling around you. Your legs started trembling as you reached the edge.
“I’m—“ you gasped, but the words dissolved into a string of moans as the wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your legs were shaking as you came undone, clenching around his fingers, your hips bucking against his mouth. 
Spencer didn’t stop, though. He kept going at a gentle pace, letting you ride out the intensity of your orgasm. Then, he slowly pulled away, his lips glistening as he looked up at you, eyes wide and full of wonder. 
“Was that good?” he asked softly, licking his lips. 
You laughed breathlessly as you nodded, your chest still rising and falling rapidly. “Come here,” you whispered seductively, pulling him in by the back of his neck to kiss him. You could taste yourself on his lips, which only added to your arousal.
Spencer’s eyes darkened with desire, his forehead pressed to yours. “I need you. I need to be inside of you.”
You nodded, moving your hand down his body, feeling the hardness of him against your palm. He helped you pull his pants down, and you stroked him gently, feeling him twitch in your hand before guiding him toward your entrance. He let out a low groan, his eyes never leaving yours as he slowly pushed into you.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned, his hips stuttering as he filled you completely. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as his thrusts grew deeper, more urgent.
You could feel every inch of him, every movement as his cock repeatedly hit those places inside that made your head spin. The room was filled with the sound of skin against skin, your moans mixing with his ragged breaths.
“You’re so warm,” Spencer whimpered. “So perfect for me.” 
Your hands gripped his back, nails digging into his skin as you urged him on, your body moving with his. His pace quickened, and you couldn’t hold back the desperate cries that escaped you. 
“Spencer… I’m so close,” you gasped.
“Me too,” he moaned, his hips slamming into yours. “Let me come with you. Please, let me come with you.”
You nodded, your body trembling. “Now, Spencer…” you begged in a breathless plea.
His breath hitched, his body tensing as he gave one last deep thrust, and then, with a loud, guttural moan, he came inside you. You followed a moment later, your body clenching around him as you fell apart. 
The room was filled with nothing but your ragged breaths, the sound of two bodies, tangled in a quiet, shared moment of bliss. Spencer collapsed beside you, his chest rising and falling as he took your hand in his, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it.
“That was… perfect,” he whispered, his voice full of awe.
You smiled softly as you placed your head on his chest, fingers lazily tracing his stomach. “Yeah,” you said in a breath, your heart full of him. “It really was.”
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You let out a soft groan as Spencer stood up, and you instinctively reached for his hand, pulling him back toward you. “Don’t go yet,” you pouted.
Spencer smiled, his eyes twinkling with a mixture of amusement and affection. “I’ve got something for you,” he said, wrapping a blanket around his waist before walking to the corner of the room. He rummaged through his bag, his back turned to you for a moment as you blatantly checked him out.
“I miss you,” you murmured, leaning back into the pillows.
He chuckled softly, glancing over his shoulder. “I’m not even five feet away from you.”
You shrugged, your voice a little teasing. “Still feels like you're miles away.”
With a smile, he walked back toward you, sitting down on the edge of the bed, his hands behind his back. “Which hand?” he playfully asked.
“Left,” you replied without hesitation.
He swiftly shifted the small box he’d been holding from his right hand to his left, then grinned, revealing the gift. “Here you go.”
You blinked in surprise. “That was your present?” you asked, your voice filled with wonder as you recognized the familiar wrapping Garcia had handed you the day before.
Spencer nodded, watching you closely. “Yeah. Open it.”
Your hands trembled slightly as you unwrapped the gift, your heart racing with excitement. Beneath the paper was a velvet black jewelry box. You glanced up at Spencer, your eyes searching his for reassurance. He gave a soft nod, his smile encouraging.
With a gentle flick of your fingers, you opened the box—and there, nestled inside, was the most stunning heart-shaped locket you’d ever seen.
“Oh my God, Spencer,” you breathed, your voice a mixture of awe and disbelief. “It’s… it’s beautiful.”
A shy smile tugged at Spencer’s lips as he ran a hand through his hair, pushing it behind his ear. “It used to be my mom’s,” he said. “She doesn’t wear jewelry much anymore, but she wanted me to keep it... to give it to someone special one day.”
Your heart melted at the thought, and you looked at him with newfound tenderness, the weight of his gesture sinking in. 
“She was happy when I told her I wanted to give it to you,” he added, his eyes soft with sincerity.
Your eyes widened slightly. “Your mom knows about me?”
Spencer nodded, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “I tell her pretty much everything. She likes hearing about you most.”
“Why?” You curiously asked.
Spencer's smile deepened, and he looked down at his lap for a moment, as though gathering courage. When he looked up at you again, his eyes were soft, full of love.
“Because you make me happy.”
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After your intimate moment with Spencer, the inevitable conversation with Hotch had to happen. Just before the talk, Hotch received a call from the lab confirming the DNA found on the Reynolds matched Christopher Eriksen’s—meaning the bittersweet news of Christopher going to prison.
“I still don’t get how the two smartest people on the team act like half a brain when they’re together,” Hotch had said with a half-smile, glancing at you and Spencer. “But… you did good work.”
—————
Later that morning, Emily spotted you, her eyes immediately drawn to the locket around your neck. “Fancy,” she commented, her smirk growing as she cocked an eyebrow. “Where did that come from?”
You felt your cheeks heat up as you absently played with the necklace, a soft smile on your lips. “It’s Spencer’s. He gave it to me.”
Emily’s smirk turned into a knowing smile, and you could see the proud glint in her eyes. “You two are something else.”
—————
Throughout the day you and Spencer did your own thing, trying to act casual in front of the team—yet every time his hand brushed your back or he leaned in for a quick kiss in the empty hallway, your heart fluttered. You couldn’t help but sneak glances at him as he played chess with Rossi, your eyes catching his in those fleeting moments.
You felt Spencer’s presence behind you like a familiar warmth as you stood in the kitchen. He slipped his arms around your waist and buried his face in the crook of your neck, placing soft kisses.
“Who would’ve thought you’d be such a romantic?” you mused, running your fingers through his hair, the feeling of him against you enough to make your heart race.
His lips hummed against your skin. “It’s your fault,” he stated, his voice thick with affection. “You drive me crazy.”
You tugged him up the stairs to your shared room, pushing him playfully onto the bed. You stood between his legs as you began to slowly peel away your clothes, revealing the red laced lingerie set Derek had gifted you during Secret Santa.
“Never thought I’d be thanking Derek for gifting you this,” Spencer mused, his hands sliding up and down your legs, a smirk displayed on his lips.
You smiled, tracing his jaw with your thumb, the heat between you growing. “What do you think of checking out the hot tub?” you purred.
He swallowed nervously, his eyes flicking down to his lap. You rolled your eyes as you responded in a sigh, “You can choose the temperature.”
Before you could say another word, he scooped you up, lifting you over his shoulder with a playful slap to your ass. You yelped, giggling as he carried you off toward the bathroom.
—————
The cabin was large, but unfortunately not big enough to avoid Garcia, so you knew what was coming when you heard the familiar sound of her heels clicking against the hallway floor. She was heading straight toward you, her finger pointing accusingly at you.
“I slept with Spencer.” you hurriedly spilled out before she could say something.
She stopped in her tracks. Her face went through a thousand different expressions in the blink of an eye—confusion, disbelief, excitement—before she finally let out a high-pitched squeal. “You... you slept with Spencer?”
“Twice,” you giddily answered, the smile creeping across your face before you could stop it.
Garcia’s expression finally broke into a huge grin, and without missing a beat, she grabbed your hands and started bouncing on the spot. “Derek is gonna lose his mind!”
You barely had time to protest before she was already up the stairs.
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As the end of the day drew near, the group gathered around the fire pit in the backyard, cocoa mugs in hand, the warmth of the flames casting flickering shadows on everyone’s faces. 
“Are you sure your phone is on silent?” Garcia asked Hotch, eyeing him with suspicion.
“I’m sure, Garcia,” Hotch replied with a small smile.
She was satisfied, her focus shifting to Rossi. “The honor is yours. You may present the last Secret Santa gift.”
Rossi cleared his throat, glancing around awkwardly. “Now, this might sound like a cheap excuse for forgetting to buy a present…” Laughter rippled through the group, and Garcia shot him an offended look. “But... I think I can speak for all of us when I say the best gift is us being together in this beautiful location.”
He turned to Hotch, his voice genuine. “Aaron, you’ve built a good team here. A good family. You should be proud.”
Hotch’s smile softened, his eyes briefly glancing over the group, the weight of the moment settling on him. “I am. Thank you, David.”
And for the first time, you didn’t question whether you deserved a place in this loving, dysfunctional family—you knew you belonged.
338 notes · View notes
taeyongdoyoung · 2 days ago
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poison
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summary: tasting the king's meals for poison is a great honour to be bestowed on you. but poison is not the only thing you're interested in tasting... paring: king!haechan x maid!reader genre: royalty!au, romance, drama, smut warnings: reader has anxiety, food-tasting, mentions of poison, hierarchical system, rich guy/poor girl trope, shitty ex jaemin (sorry boo 💞), evil uncle trope, threats, mentions of blood, insecurities, crying, pet names, lots of kissing, inexperienced reader, lowkey corruption kink, fingering, handjob, cum-eating, loss of virginity, unprotected sex author's note: the plot is loosely inspired by some historical kdramas and the folk of the air trilogy 🥰 also, there are some references to nct songs in bold bc it's me, duh word count: 4.8k
Your life as a maid in the royal palace is pretty boring. You wake up, you prepare meals in the kitchen, you wash clothes, you clean rooms, you sneak a piece of stale bread if you find any (if you're lucky even some cheese), you go to sleep, repeat. Every day is the same. No drama, no adventure, nothing out of the ordinary. You don't like it but it's all you can do so you can send some money to your poor family.
That is until on one random day you are summoned to the king's chambers immediately, the other maids saying it is of utmost importance. You are panicking. Did you do something wrong? You try to attend to your duties with all the care and attention to detail possible. Will you be scolded or worse, punished, for some mistake you cannot place? You try to calm your rapidly beating heart, as you enter the king's room.
Looking down nervously, you bow deeply, not able to think of anything else to say, rather than mumbling a weak "Your Majesty".
"Relax, I'm not going to kill you," king Haechan says in his signature deep voice.
His words do little to ease your mind and your hands are still shaking.
"I've been told by my most trusted counsellor that I have many enemies and cases of poisoned aristocrats have been increasing. So, after discussing it in great detail, he advised me to look for a food taster. Someone I could count on not to betray me," the king explains.
"With all due respect, Your Majesty, but w-why me?" you ask meekly.
"You know my counsellor Jaemin, don't you? I believe you two were once…intimate. He said you could definitely be trusted. And I trust him with my life, so…"
Your damn ex Jaemin…You can't tell if him recommending you to the king as a potential food taster is a compliment or a curse. After all, you could literally die from poison. But then again, what can you do? You can't exactly disobey the king's direct command. At the end of the day, he bestowed a great honour on you. Anyone else would be jumping with joy. Anyone else but you.
"Your Majesty, I'm not denying you, of course. It's just that…I'm the only source of income for my poor parents. I can't bear to think of them all on their own."
"You have my word. Should anything happen to you…your parents will be well taken care of," the king promises and there is so much compassion and sincerity in his voice, you have no choice but to believe him.
"Very well, then. I'll try all your meals before you," you vow solemnly.
"Splendid," the king claps his hands.
That is how your boring days at the royal palace come to an abrupt end. You try the first couple of meals anxiously and with little appetite. Your stomach hurts from nervousness and not because there is any poison in the food. As time goes by, the food-tasting process becomes second nature to you. Eventually, you convince yourself that the chances of actual poison are low and you begin to enjoy your daily interactions with the king.
"What do we have for lunch today, my sweetest treasure?" the king asks. You like how he addresses you. As if you are genuinely important to him. As if it would pain him if he lost you. It's a kind gesture to distract you from the reality of how replacable you are.
"Your favourite, Your Majesty. Kimchi jjigae," you respond politely.
"Yesss, it's gonna be a great day!" the king squeals happily like a little boy.
It is an unwelcome reminder of how young he actually is. Unwelcome because you cannot imagine how difficult it must be for him. Enemies lurking at every corner, having all this power and responsibilities…and no one to share them with.
After you try the kimchi jjigae and check its safety, the king begins eating excitedly.
"You know that not all poisons kick in immediately, right?" you know it's rude to interrupt him but you cannot help yourself. "There is still a chance that we both get poisoned but the symptoms appear later."
"I know, but…" the king sighs, his mouth still full. Once he finishes chewing, he finishes his sentence. "It's still a precaution. At least Jaemin seems to think so."
You roll your eyes at the mention of your ex.
"Did you not end things on good terms?" the king is curious.
"We just…had lots of differences. Jaemin, being from a higher social class, said that I was just a way to pass the time. That he didn't see any future for us…That he would never marry me."
"Ouch," the king keeps chewing his favourite food. "I mean, it's technically true you belong to different worlds, but he could have said it more nicely."
"Do you trust his judgement? I'm not talking about relationships. Just…on the topic of poisons and stuff," you need to know.
"I suppose. We've known each other for so long, it'd be silly not to trust him."
"May I make a suggestion?" you inquire. "I know I'm not as qualified as Jaemin, but it's still worth taking other people's opinions into consideration."
"Sure," the king shrugs. "What did you have in mind?"
"If there are so many cases of aristocrats being poisoned, why don't you try taking a little poison each day to build an immunity? I've heard this method is quite common in other kingdoms."
"Where did you learn that?" the king asks you suspiciously.
"I read it in a book somewhere."
"You can read? No offense."
"None taken. When I'm done with my maid duties, I sneak into the royal library sometimes. Don't tell the king," you joke.
"Your secret's safe with me," the king laughs.
Time passes in the same old way. Cleaning, cooking and food-tasting. Repeat. One evening, the king summons you again.
You are about to take a bite from the food before him when he unexpectedly grabs your wrist and stops you.
"I don't want you to do that anymore," he murmurs.
"What?"
"I've started taking a little poison each day to build an immunity, like you advised me to. So far, I've been doing alright. And…I just think it's unfair, alright? What if you actually die?" the king whispers, as if the thought is so unbearable to him he can't even say it. "I can't lose you. I…trust you too much."
He trusts you? The thought is so bizarre in a flattering way your heart hurts upon hearing his sincerity.
"Are you planning to find another food-taster, then?" the very question is painful to you. Despite the potential danger, you don't want to be replaced. You want to keep being his person.
The king shakes his head.
"No life is worth more than mine. I'm not doing that outdated thing anymore."
"Of course, your life is worth the most! You are the king!" you exclaim passionately, pulling the food towards you.
"You think I don't know that?" he whisper-shouts, taking the food once again. "You think I don't wake up each morning wishing things were different?"
What…what is he on about? Why would he wish he wasn't the king?
"I'm not sure I follow," you say quietly.
"It's fine. I don't understand myself. Just…don't tell anyone, okay? Not even Jaemin. Let everyone believe you're still tasting my food and come at the allotted times as usual."
The not even Jaemin part shocks you. Does he no longer trust him as he once did? What is going on?!
"As you wish, Your Majesty," you respond, not even thinking of disobeying him. As confusing as everything is, you need him to trust you. More than you've needed anything else in your life.
"Oh and…one more thing. You should call me Haechan. When we're alone, that is."
"Uhm, okay. Haechan?"
"Yes, sweetheart?" he tilts his head cutely.
"Nothing, just trying it out," you chuckle.
Haechan laughs warmly and starts eating calmly.
"I can't tell if you're brave or reckless," you tease him.
"Perhaps both," he shrugs.
One Monday, your worst fear comes true. As you are preparing Haechan's meal, you are faced with his uncle. You've never been a fan of him for some unknown reason, but now you know your suspicions were completely justified.
"Give me the meal," he orders and you are so terrified, you do as he asks.
He pulls a vial out of his pocket and pours it on top of the food nonchalantly, mixing it well with a spoon, so that it doesn't show.
"Say a word to the king and you parents are dead," he threatens.
"What do you know about my parents?" you ask boldly. Foolishly, even.
After Haechan's uncle says the names of your parents and the exact location of their home, you realize he isn't bluffing. What are you going to do?
As you enter Haechan's chambers, you realize you can't do it.
"Ooh, this looks delicious," Haechan is about to put the food into his mouth when you rudely push the spoon away from him, spilling the food all over the ground.
"It's super cold and totally unappetizing," you exclaim the first thing that comes to mind.
Haechan eyes you weirdly but doesn't scold you.
"Have this, instead," you pull a sweet pastry from your pocket, knowing it's safe.
Haechan shrugs, not caring about what he's given.
"So yummy," he smiles happily, not suspecting a thing.
If you tell him, your parents are dead. If you don't, he's dead. Sooner or later.
When his evil uncle questions you later, you lie through your teeth that the king wasn't hungry and tossed the food away in an angry fit. Miraculously, his uncle believes that.
Similar things happen throughout the week. On Tuesday, you eat the food meant for Haechan yourself, hoping that the self-poisoning you've been doing in secret with the help of your apothecary friend Renjun will be plenty of protection and that you'll survive this extra dose of poison. On Wednesday, you explain to Haechan that the food was made with old ingredients and give him a piece of bread and some cheese you've set aside. On Thursday, you once again make a mess and spill the meal, pretending it was a clumsy accident. On Friday, you tell Haechan that you saw a cockroach in the food. Very far-fetched but it somehow works?! On Saturday, you go as far as lying to Haechan that you were so hungry you ate his food in the corridor.
Not once does he question you or get angry. His evil uncle, however, is becoming more and more agitated.
On Sunday, the uncle has had enough of your failed attempts to poison the king. And he shows you something that makes your blood run cold.
Two chopped-off fingers that he claims belong to your parents.
"If you fail again, it'll be their entire hands next time. And then, their heads. Choose wisely," he threatens cruelly.
You seem to be at an impasse.
As you are once more left alone with Haechan, you debate what to do. You are running out of ideas. Haechan's spoon is approaching his mouth eagerly. After all, he's been eating nothing but bread and random snacks all week. Your mind goes blank. If he eats that, he'll surely die. If he doesn't, your parents might die. It's an impossible situation. But you are greedy. Greedy to save both his life and your parents'.
"Stop," you cry out.
Haechan's hand freezes mid-air. It's now or never.
"I have betrayed you, Your Majesty, please kill me," you drop to your knees desperately.
"I told you to call me Haechan," he rolls his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Your uncle has been trying to kill you," you blurt out. "He's been putting poison in your meals for the past week. I kept trying to come up with ridiculous reasons to prevent you from eating it but…he's been threatening my parents. Today he showed me two chopped-off fingers and said the next time I fail to poison you, it'll be their hands and the final time, their heads, but…I can't do this."
"Can't do what?" Haechan asks you to clarify.
"I can't poison you," you admit, eyes filled with tears. Even though your parents' lives are in grave danger, losing Haechan would hurt just as much.
"Could have just said that from the beginning instead of feeding me bread for a week," Haechan teases.
"You believe me?" you inquire nervously. Only now does the gravity of the situation strike you. What if he'd chosen to side with his uncle and executed you for treason?
"Jaemin's been warning me about my uncle plotting against me for a while now. I thought it was just his paranoia, but…I'm inclined to believe you and Jaemin."
"Over your own flesh and blood?" you are pleasantly surprised.
"Blood doesn't necessarily make you family," Haechan shrugs. "Okay, here's the plan. We'll sneak out of the palace and go find your parents. We'll make sure they go somewhere my uncle won't be able to find them."
You nod numbly, amazed at how quick he's thinking and finding a way out of this situation.
"Then, we'll return to the palace and make my uncle regret ever trying to mess with us."
"Us?" you repeat.
"Yeah, us," Haechan confirms. "We're in this together, no?"
"Hell yeah!" you reply, infected by his enthusiasm to find a solution.
Once you dress up with cloaks and daggers, Haechan leads you through a secret tunnel hidden behind the royal library that takes you both out of the palace.
"Don't tell anyone about this," Haechan whispers in your ear, his hand on your lower back, making you gasp for air.
"Who am I gonna tell? The king?" you joke to distract him from how affected you are by his gentle touch.
"Yeah, he should never know about this," Haechan chuckles in the dark and kisses you on the lips, taking you by surprise. You…he…what?!
You wrap your arms around his neck, desperate for the way he grounds you and makes you believe it will all be alright, you'll find a way out of this mess. Together.
He is the one to initiate the kiss but sadly, he is also the one to end it as abruptly as it started.
"As much as I'm enjoying the taste of your lips, we have to get to your parents and make sure they're okay."
"Right, right," you agree. He's more concerned about your parents than you, which speaks volumes about his noble character.
You resist the urge to swoon and try to focus on the task at hand.
Once you get to your parents' place, you are happily amazed to find all their fingers intact! That bastard was bluffing!~But the question remains…whose fingers were that?!
"You'll have to go to another town," you explain impatiently. "Haechan has some trusted friends who'll take you in."
"H-haechan?" your mom repeats in shock upon hearing you call the king by his first name.
"Uhh," you look to Haechan nervously for a way to explain. You know he told you to only call him that when it's the two of you but it just slipped so naturally…
"It's okay," he reassures you. "Your daughter has saved my life on multiple occasions. Making sure you two are fine is the least I could do."
"You are too kind, Your Majesty," your dad is even more stunned by Haechan's gentle demeanour.
"Just returning the favour. Your daughter's irreplaceable."
Oh. You wonder if he truly believes that or is simply trying to ease your parents' worries.
Soon enough, you parents are travelling to Haechan's friends and you and the king are riding back to the palace.
Immediately, he summons a court meeting and gives the order for his uncle to be brought to justice in front of all the aristocrats. His uncle is struggling to escape the guards' arms and screaming treason. But Jaemin's and your account of the uncle's actions are enough to convince the people of the truth. Eventually, other aristocrats start speaking up of suspicious things Haechan's uncle has done or said like threatening them or their family in an attempt to take the throne. In no time, the uncle is imprisoned.
"You should have just killed him," Jaemin tells Haechan quietly. "He would have done the same to you."
"I do things differently," Haechan replies. "If you were king, you'd understand."
Jaemin shrugs.
"Lucky for me, I'll never know what that's like."
Haechan rolls his eyes, trusting that his friend has no such ambitions and is happy with his life as a counsellor.
Even with the threat of Haechan's uncle behind bars, he still continues to take little doses of poison to build an immunity. You don't tell him but you do the same, carrying on with food-tasting his meals before him. You value your life, sure. But you value his more.
One random Tuesday, Haechan summons you to his chambers. But the hour does not indicate food-bringing activities. Just like the first time, you are overwhelmed by a strange sense of anxiety. Even though you've known him for so long and have been through so much together, it still unnerves you, being alone with him. You don't know if things would be different if he weren't king. Perhaps not. There is just something about Haechan that makes your knees tremble in the best way possible.
"You've asked to see me, Your Majesty?" you mumble.
"When will you get rid of that annoying habit? It's just me…Haechan," he reminds you needlessly.
"I know, but you're still the king."
"That sounds so detached," Haechan groans. "But I'm hoping what I have to say will convince you to only call my name. Not just when we're alone."
"What are you saying?" you're beyond confused.
"Marry me. Become the queen of my kingdom," he pleads, taking your hand in his.
"But…you can't," you whisper in shock, reminded of how adamant Jaemin was. And if the distance between your place in society and Jaemin's was big…then, the distance between your and Haechan's worlds seems far more insurmountable.
"I can," Haechan looks more determined than anything to do this.
"People will talk…They won't be happy."
"Fuck people," Haechan scoffs. "Will you have me or not?"
"Of course, I will, Haechan," you cry out. "You've shown me more kindness and understanding than anyone in my life."
"You do know I'll give you anything you desire?" Haechan speaks softly. "As long as you're by my side, as you have been so far."
"You do know I don't want anything, right? Even if you weren't king, I'd choose you in any universe."
"Are you serious?" Haechan smiles in disbelief, the idea so foreign to him.
"Of course I am," you insist. "Even if you were a poor bard singing in taverns."
"Hm. I do love singing," Haechan smirks and kisses you.
And gods, his lips are sweeter than any meal you've tasted and every poison you've consumed. You could never get enough.
Your wedding day finally arrives. Shockingly, people are more accepting of your union than you anticipated, because they take your food-taster position in consideration and how valiantly you exposed Haechan's evil uncle. Your parents, as well, are happy to see you and Haechan together.
However, there is one person who is against.
"Is that why you broke up with me? Aiming high, I see," Jaemin snickers rudely once you are out of Haechan's sight for a brief moment at the wedding afterparty.
"I broke up with you because you said I was just a way to pass the time and you see no future for us. If you think I'm with Haechan because of his crown, you're even more foolish than I thought," you scoff.
"Oh, really?" Jaemin raises his eyebrows. "So, you're saying if Haechan lost his title as king, you'd still be with him?"
"Yes, I would. But the fact you're even talking about that can be considered treason by some."
"You know I'm loyal to Haechan. But do you honestly think you're good enough for him? You could never satisfy him. He'll grow tired of you, you'll see. You're so fucking…cold," Jaemin hisses.
His words sting more than when he implied you were with Haechan because of his power. It is true that you are not experienced. Even though you were with Jaemin for a while, you two never…went all the way. You were perhaps far too romantic but you wanted to save it for your wedding night.
"Well, lucky for you, you'll never get to feel how warm I can be," you say with a self-assured smile. "Now, piss off and let me enjoy my wedding."
Jaemin rolls his eyes and seemingly has nothing else to say, leaving you alone.
Why did he have to say all that stuff? You know it's not entirely true, but it still sucks. Jaemin was the one who ended what you two had with his cruel words. It's just that you were the only one brave enough to finally call it quits. And you're glad you did. He may be bitter now but he'll eventually find someone better suited for his character. As for you…you were perfectly happy with Haechan. And you wouldn't let Jaemin ruin your special day.
Eventually, the guests started leaving one by one and it was time for your wedding night. To say you are nervous would be an understatement. Your hands are shaking more badly than the first time you were summoned to Haechan's chambers. You are aware that he's a good person who will treat you right…but he's still your king and that fact is intimidating enough to make you tremble with anticipation.
"Good evening, my lovely wife," Haechan enters your (gods, this is insane) now shared room.
Your mind completely blanks and you have no idea what to say. So, you just start crying.
Haechan immediately rushes to you, embracing you and kneeling next to you.
"What's wrong? What did I do?"
"N-nothing," you manage. "It's not your f-fault."
"What is it?" he asks again. "Did Jaemin say anything?"
"How did you know?" you blink furiously to clear your vision from the tears.
"He's not over you yet, is he? It's obvious from the way he looks at you. And me. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still as objective as he can be when giving me advice, but…he sometimes stares at me as if I stole his dinner. Not that you're dinner. You're obviously much more important than that and uh…I really should stop talking, shouldn't I?"
You laugh, pleasantly distracted by his ramblings.
"You're good. And he did say some stuff implying I was a gold digger, but…frankly, I don't care about his opinion."
"I'm gonna kill him," Haechan gets up but you are quick enough to grab his wrist.
"No, please, stay. Let him think what he wishes. I only care about what your opinion of me."
"Darling, I am perfectly confident you did not marry me because of my title."
"I know. I'm not talking about that. I mean…I'm just nervous I won't be able to please you. I've never done this before," you explain nervously.
"You and Jaemin never…?" Haechan waves his hand in the air meaningfully.
"I wanted to wait till my wedding night. So, um, here we are, I guess."
"Oh, my angel," Haechan places a hand on your cheek. "You don't have to worry about that. Just, relax, and let me take care of you."
"No, no. Teach me. I'll do anything you say, just…guide me, please?" you plead him, looking up at him, your eyes still moist with tears.
"Okay," Haechan agrees easily. "Take off your clothes."
You gulp anxiously and start unbuttoning your wedding dress. Why is it so hard? Why are there so many freaking buttons?
"Gods, you're trembling," Haechan points out the obvious and his impatience takes over. He removes your hands from your dress and finishes the remaining buttons himself. You are grateful for his help, but you still feel like a total failure for not being able to complete one simple task.
"I'm s-sorry," you pout.
"Don't apologize," Haechan shakes his head. "Can I touch you?"
You nod and he caresses you with his pretty fingers. It feels so sticky and weird but…weird good. Definitely good.
"You're so cute, you know that?"
"N-no, stop," you disagree, chuckling.
"Stop what? Stop doing this?" Haechan teases you but continues his motions, because he sees how much you're enjoying it.
"Stop calling me cute," you elaborate.
"You're so not cute," Haechan obliges jokingly. "That was a lie, by the way."
You laugh again, not just because of his words, but because the things he's doing with his hands make you feel so amazing you can't hold it in.
"You like that, my pretty wife? You like being touched by your husband?" Haechan talks you through it.
"Yes! So much! You have no idea!" you scream as you fall apart under him.
"I think I do," he smirks proudly and lets you ride it out. Then, he takes his fingers out…and licks them clean. Your eyes widen in shock. You've never imagined such a sight possible. The king of the country just did…THAT to you. And against all reason, you're still breathing.
"Show me how to do this to you," you beg, wanting to make him feel as good as you.
"It won't be the same," Haechan giggles. "But I'll give the best of me."
He takes off his clothes hurriedly, extremely excited to teach you everything he knows. You are amazed to see him in his full glory. His golden skin radiates in the dimlit room.
"You look incredible," you gasp.
Haechan tilts his head to the side, his cheeks turning red.
"May I touch you?" you ask reverently, still in awe of his sun-like beauty.
"We're married. Of course you can," Haechan reminds you sweetly and guides your hand, showing you all the way he likes to be touched, telling you what feels good and what doesn't (though everything you do feels good for him but he won't tell you just yet).
You do your best to follow his instructions and soon enough become bold enough to start experimenting yourself. He is enjoying it judging by the expressions on his heavenly pretty face.
"You're so hard. Isn't it uncomfortable?" you inquire, genuinely curious.
"It kinda is. But it's also a good thing. It means I'm really into you."
"The way when you touch me and I'm drippin' and it's kinda strange but also feels nice?" you try to explain the logic in your own terms.
"Exactly that way. You're a quick study," Haechan praises you.
"I just have a very good teacher," you compliment him in return and kiss him deeply, your hand still stroking him.
Soon enough, his release comes and you marvel at how much of it there is. You gather some of it with your finger and lick it, just like he had done with you.
"Fuck. You don't have to do that," Haechan moans.
"But you did it? Isn't it okay?" you blink innocently.
"It's not that it isn't okay. Just saying, you don't have to. I bet it tastes weird."
"No, it's not weird," you shake your head adamantly. "I mean, it's you, so I think it tastes sweet."
"Better than poison?" Haechan teases.
"Definitely better," you agree without thinking.
"I know you've been tasting my meals even when I told you to stop," Haechan blurts out all of a sudden.
"You knew?" you whisper in shock.
"I felt so bad but I didn't mention it because I knew no matter what I said, you'd keep doing it."
"You thought correctly," you sigh. "But you don't have to feel bad. I'm also taking little doses of poison each day, so I'll be fine. We'll both be fine, I'll make sure of it."
Haechan kisses you again, gripping your hair firmly, but gently at the same time.
"Remind me again what did I do to deserve you?"
"Did the Sun ever do anything but shine to make the Earth revolve around it?" you smile fondly.
"You're saying I'm your Sun?" Haechan presses his forehead against yours.
"Provided I'm your Earth," you respond.
"Well, did you know the fate of the Earth is to be consumed by the Sun?" Haechan informs you with a sweet voice but sombre expression.
"Consume me, then," you gladly consent and he slides inside of you all too smoothly.
Earth and Sun, moving together as one. Two entirely different worlds and yet…you belong with each other.
"You're too sweet for me," you murmur, chasing his lips once more.
"You've had too much poison your taste buds are off," Haechan jests.
"Maybe so," you grin. "I should probably drink more of you as an antidote."
"I'm counting on it, my beloved wife."
The End
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theeldritchcorvid · 2 days ago
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Precisely. On all the panel shows and political commentary shows you got all these comedians talking about it and it felt good because they were angry, everyone was angry, but genuinely?
I don't remember anyone saying hey. hey, you fucking shits, we listened. We did what you told us because we had faith in you. You let us down. You fucking hypocrites, you liars, you weak-willed posh twats, how fucking dare you do this to us.
I have wanted to hear someone say those words for so long - and yes, it's a PG version, but hearing that... healed me, too, prev. Thanks, Moffat. I may have my gripes about him, but you know what. That was quite good.
She died on Christmas Day. On Christmas Day! I said goodbye on an iPad! Because of the rules! She died alone! And those awful people and their wine fridges, and their dancing, and their parties, and I listened to them, and I let my mother die alone!
i dunno about the rest of the world but this is such bitter, satisfying british political commentary that i've needed to hear for over two years now. thank you steven moffat this genuinely healed something within me
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s4kura-tr3 · 10 hours ago
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Jjk men (doesn’t matter who) reaction to their kid disrespecting their mom ?
Gojo : It started out as a typical family afternoon. You were in the middle of explaining something to your child—why they needed to pick up their toys, or why dessert wasn’t happening until after dinner. But out of nowhere, your kid stomped their little foot and said it:
“Ugh, shut up!”
The room went silent.
Your jaw dropped, and before you could even respond, Satoru’s voice cut through the air like a blade.
“Hey.”
That one word was enough to make both you and your child freeze. Satoru stood up from where he’d been lounging on the couch, his usual playful demeanor completely gone. He walked over, crouching down to your child’s eye level.
“What did you just say to your mom?” His voice was calm but firm, a rare edge to it that made even you straighten up.
Your child hesitated, suddenly realizing they had crossed a line. “I… I didn’t mean it like that…”
Satoru tilted his head, his blindfold slipping down just enough to reveal his piercing gaze. “Doesn’t matter how you meant it. You don’t talk to her like that. Ever. Got it?”
Your child nodded quickly, their eyes wide.
“Say you’re sorry,” Satoru added, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Your child turned to you, looking genuinely sorry now. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”
You sighed, crouching down as well to gently take their hand. “Thank you for apologizing. But we’ll talk more about this later.”
Satoru straightened up, crossing his arms as he looked down at his child. “Listen, kiddo, you can have all the attitude in the world, but you never disrespect your mom. She’s the boss, even more than me. And if I hear something like that again…” He let the threat hang in the air, though you knew he’d never do more than a firm lecture.
Once the tension eased, Satoru’s usual grin returned, and he ruffled your child’s hair. “Alright, now that we’ve cleared that up, who’s ready for some ice cream?”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “You’re not seriously rewarding them right now, are you?”
“Hey, I’m teaching balance!” he said with a wink. “Discipline, then dessert.”
You shook your head, watching as your child eagerly grabbed Satoru’s hand, already forgetting their earlier outburst.
Satoru turned back to you, his grin softening. “You know I’ve always got your back, right?”
You smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I know. Thanks, Satoru.”
Suguru: You were in the kitchen, trying to reason with your child over something trivial—bedtime, homework, or why jumping off the couch wasn’t an Olympic sport. But as the conversation went on, they crossed their arms, huffed, and spat out the words you least expected:
“Just shut up already!”
Your heart skipped a beat. You blinked, stunned, and before you could even formulate a response, a deep, calm voice echoed from the doorway.
“Excuse me?”
Suguru stood there, his tall frame leaning casually against the doorframe, but the sharpness in his gaze was anything but casual. His usually serene expression was replaced with a quiet intensity that made the room feel smaller.
Your child froze, realizing too late that their words hadn’t just reached you—they’d reached him.
Suguru stepped into the room, his every movement deliberate, his eyes locked onto your child. “Say that again,” he said, his voice low but firm, “so I can make sure I heard you right.”
“N-No, Daddy, I didn’t mean it,” they stammered, their earlier defiance evaporating.
Suguru crouched down to their level, his tone softening just slightly but losing none of its authority. “I don’t care what you meant. You do not speak to your mother that way. Ever. Do you understand me?”
Your child nodded quickly, their eyes wide and remorseful.
“Words have weight,” Suguru continued. “And what you just said was hurtful. To someone who loves you more than anything in the world.” He glanced at you briefly, his gaze warm and reassuring before turning back to your child. “You owe her an apology.”
Your child looked up at you, tears brimming in their eyes. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I didn’t mean to say that.”
You knelt down, pulling them into a gentle hug. “Thank you for saying sorry. But we’re going to talk more about why words matter, okay?”
Suguru stood, his posture relaxed again, but his presence still commanding. “Good. Now, go to your room for a bit and think about how you can do better.”
Your child nodded and shuffled off, glancing back at you with a small, apologetic smile.
Once they were gone, Suguru stepped closer, his hands gently resting on your shoulders. “You alright?” he asked, his voice now warm and tender.
“Yeah,” you said, exhaling a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “Thanks for stepping in.”
He smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “They’re going to test boundaries—it’s part of growing up. But one thing they’ll never get away with is disrespecting you.”
You leaned into his touch, grateful for the unwavering support in his eyes. “You’re a good dad, Suguru.”
“And you’re an amazing mom,” he replied, pulling you into his arms. “They’ll learn. We’ve got this.”
Nanami: It had been a long day, and dinner wasn’t going any smoother. Your child, full of energy and sass, refused to eat the vegetables on their plate. After a few rounds of calm negotiation, they crossed their little arms, glared, and said the unthinkable:
“Just shut up!”
The room fell into complete silence.
You blinked, momentarily stunned, but before you could even react, a measured voice came from the doorway.
“Excuse me?”
Nanami stood there, his tie slightly loosened from the workday, his gaze sharp and unyielding. He wasn’t angry, but the weight of his presence made it clear that he was not pleased.
Your child turned to him, realizing immediately that they’d messed up.
Nanami walked over, his movements calm and deliberate, as if every step was meant to emphasize his authority. He crouched down to your child’s level, his hands resting lightly on his knees.
“Repeat what you just said,” he said, his tone low and even, though it carried a weight that made even you sit a little straighter.
Your child squirmed, their earlier confidence replaced with nervousness. “I-I didn’t mean it…”
Nanami raised an eyebrow. “That’s not what I asked. Did you or did you not tell your mother to ‘shut up’?”
They hesitated before nodding reluctantly.
Nanami let out a quiet sigh, glancing at you briefly before focusing back on your child. “Listen carefully. Your mother works hard every single day to take care of you, to make sure you’re happy and safe. She deserves your respect, always. Do you understand?”
Your child nodded quickly, their eyes wide with guilt.
“I’m going to give you one chance to make this right,” Nanami continued, his voice softening slightly but still firm. “What do you say to your mother?”
Your child turned to you, tears welling up. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I didn’t mean it. I’ll be good.”
You smiled softly, crouching down to hug them. “Thank you for apologizing. But we’ll talk more about why words matter after dinner, okay?”
They nodded, sniffling, and went back to their plate, poking at their vegetables without further complaint.
Nanami straightened up, adjusting his tie as he turned to you. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” you said, exhaling a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. “You handled that perfectly.”
He offered a small, reassuring smile, placing a hand on your back. “Parenting is a team effort. You’re not alone in this.”
As the two of you sat down to finish dinner, Nanami looked over at your child and said calmly, “And if I ever hear you speak like that again, there will be no dessert for a month. Understood?”
“Yes, Daddy,” they said in a tiny voice, clearly humbled.
You hid a smile behind your napkin, grateful for the quiet authority Nanami always carried—and for the unwavering respect and love he showed you.
Toji: It was one of those chaotic evenings where everything seemed to be going wrong. You were trying to get your child to finish their homework, but instead of cooperating, they slammed their pencil down, crossed their arms, and shouted:
“Just shut up!”
The words hung in the air like a thunderclap.
Before you could even process what had just happened, Toji’s deep, gravelly voice came from the hallway.
“What did you just say to your mom?”
He stepped into the room, his sharp green eyes narrowing as he looked at your child. His usual laid-back smirk was gone, replaced with a look that sent a chill through the air.
Your child froze, clearly realizing they had crossed a line. “I… I didn’t mean it, Daddy—”
“Don’t even try that,” Toji interrupted, his voice calm but deadly serious. He walked over to the table, leaning down to their eye level, his towering presence making it impossible to look away.
“You think it’s okay to talk to your mom like that? Huh?” he asked, his tone low but firm.
Your child shook their head quickly, their earlier bravado crumbling.
“You listen to me, and you listen good,” Toji said, pointing a finger at them. “This woman right here?” He gestured toward you without breaking eye contact with your child. “She does everything for you. She takes care of you, feeds you, loves you, and you think you can disrespect her? Not on my watch.”
Your child’s lip quivered. “I’m sorry, Mommy…”
Toji nodded toward you. “Say it like you mean it.”
“I’m really sorry, Mommy,” they said, tears starting to spill.
You softened, crouching down to their level and pulling them into a hug. “Thank you for apologizing. I forgive you. But we’ll talk later about why this isn’t okay, alright?”
They nodded, sniffling.
Toji straightened up, crossing his arms and looking down at them. “Good. Now, I better not hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, or we’re gonna have a serious problem. Got it?”
“Yes, Daddy,” they mumbled, wiping their tears.
“Good,” Toji said, his tone lightening just slightly. “Now finish your homework. And if I see you giving your mom a hard time again, no TV, no games, no nothing. You’ll be staring at that wall for a week.”
As your child returned to their work, Toji walked over to you, placing a large hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” you said with a sigh. “Thanks for stepping in.”
He smirked, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “They’ve got my temper, but they’ll learn. Nobody disrespects my wife—especially not my own kid.”
You smiled, leaning into his touch. Despite his rough edges, Toji always made sure you knew you were his top priority, no matter what.
Sukuna: It was late in the evening, and you were exhausted from a long day of managing both work and home life. Your child had been unusually cranky all day, and now, during dinner, they were pushing every button. You patiently tried to get them to eat their vegetables, but after a few minutes of back-and-forth, they finally snapped, glaring at you.
“Shut up! I don’t care!”
You froze, heart skipping a beat. Before you could even respond, the familiar cold, dark presence of Sukuna filled the room.
His deep, mocking voice echoed from the shadows. “I heard that.”
You looked over to see him lounging in the doorway, his crimson eyes glowing with a mix of amusement and irritation. His face was still the same unreadable mask, but you could feel the power radiating from him, a silent warning in the air.
Your child’s bravado evaporated the moment they met his gaze. Sukuna walked over slowly, his movements precise and intimidating. His four arms crossed, and his smile was that twisted, knowing smirk he often wore when something pleased him—yet it was far from reassuring.
“You think you can speak to her like that?” Sukuna’s voice was laced with a dark amusement, though there was a weight to his words. “You must’ve lost your mind, child.”
Your child shrank back, realizing they were in far deeper trouble than they’d imagined.
Sukuna crouched down in front of them, his face only inches away, his smile widening. “You’ve got a lot of spirit. But you don’t know your place.” His voice dropped, turning icy. “You’ll never disrespect her like that again. Understand?”
They nodded frantically, fear and guilt mixing in their eyes.
“Good,” Sukuna said, standing up with a slow stretch, as if everything were beneath him—because, in this moment, it was. “Now, what do you say to your mother?”
Your child swallowed, voice shaking. “I’m sorry, Mommy…”
You gave them a small smile, but your eyes flicked to Sukuna, who was still watching with that unsettling calm. “Thank you for apologizing.” You reached over, pulling your child into a gentle hug. “But we’ll talk about this later.”
Sukuna stood back, giving a lazy stretch. “I’m not a fan of anyone disrespecting what’s mine. She’s my woman, and I don’t tolerate it.” His gaze never left your child as he spoke, his tone dark and final.
You placed a hand on his arm, silently thanking him for stepping in. He shot you a quick glance, a twisted grin crossing his face. “Don’t thank me. I’m just reminding them of their place.”
With that, Sukuna turned to leave, his presence still lingering as your child went back to their plate, much more subdued.
“You’re lucky I’m not in a worse mood,” Sukuna called over his shoulder, his voice teasing, but his gaze sharp. “Next time, I’ll let you figure out the consequences for yourself.”
You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “You’re impossible.”
“Impossible?” He glanced back with an amused glint in his eye. “I’m just making sure they know who the real boss is.”
As he disappeared into the next room, you let out a breath, feeling the strange mix of fear and comfort that only Sukuna could provide. He wasn’t the type to do things by the book, but in his own way, he made sure you and your child were always protected.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 days ago
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Days of Yore
Warnings: some dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
Summary: You show up uninvited but are welcomed nonetheless.
Character: Geralt of Rivia
Day Twenty-Five of the December Daze Challenge.
Prompt -an unexpected guest at the holiday get together.
Note: As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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“Wow,” you gape up at the immaculate array of lights strung across the facade. “This place is amazing. Who’s house is this?” 
“A friend of a friend’s, I don’t know,” Wendy shrugs. 
“A friend... Oh? Are you sure it’s okay we’re here?” You wonder with a furrow between your brows. You now feel a bit foolish for getting all done up when you might not even have been invited. 
“Open invite! Besides, no one will notice,” she assures you. 
“Right,” you mutter doubtfully. 
“Loosen up. What else do you got going on, huh?” She grabs your hand and pulls you through the open iron gates. They accentuate the medieval effect of the house. Now you don’t feel done up enough. 
“Not much, I guess,” you admit. If anything, you’ll get a bit of free food then ditch. It's not the first time you’ve unintentionally party-crashed with your wayward friend. 
“You know Sienna, it will be fine,” she tuts and comes up to the front doors.  
Again, you’re awed by the aesthetic of it all. You notice that the lights aren’t coloured, but only white, and the decor doesn’t bear the typical Santa or candy cane theme. In fact, it all has a historic tint. Traditional in a strange way. Dried oranges hung on long strings and holly twisted into bunches. For a moment, you’re remind of that dusty history degree hidden in the back of your closet. 
Wendy knocks with the heavy iron knocker. She waits and chatters as she wiggles her legs below her short skirt. She didn’t dress for the temperature. She searches the door frame and grumbles. 
“You think someone who could afford this place would have a doorcam or something,” she chuffs out a cloud of steam. 
The door opens and startles you both. You look over as Wendy as good as jumps inside. She seizes the woman who keeps a hand on the door. 
“Kami! You look... nice,” she holds her and gives her an eye up and down, “is this velvet?” She drags her hands down the green fabric. 
“Designer,” Kami pushes away her touch. “You brought a friend.” 
“Yeah, Sienna said so--” 
“Mm, sure, it’s just... whatever. No one will notice,” Kami rolls her eyes. “You have to come. Lucas has the funniest story! I was just dying.” 
Your shoulders fall and you clasp your hands together. You trail after, unwelcome and unacknowledged. Uninvited. You frown and silently configure how you can excuse yourself and leave. If you wait long enough, Wendy will forget about you. It might be easier to sneak out. 
You stop to hang your coat with all the rest and Kami makes a point of telling you to take your boots off. The floors are old wood, polished and well-kept. The entire house is immaculate. An antique on its own. 
You follow them into a high-ceilinged room adorned in strings of threaded popcorn and dried clusters of flowers. The air is fragrant as mulled cider steams in a heated bowl on a table, copper cups waiting to be filled, and dishes of appetizers in a line. The smell makes your stomach churn hungrily. 
“Who the hell owns this place?” Wendy asks the question nibbling on your ears. 
“Oh, he’s a funny guy,” Kami chuckles. “A bit... eccentric. Sienna’s been trying to loosen him up a bit, I mean... look at this house. That’s a good bag.” 
You try not to show your disapproval. You don’t have much luck with men but hearing the way some of your friends talk about them, you don’t know that you’re cut out for it all. It really doesn’t seem that anyone is out for a genuine connection, they just want a good set-up.
Can you really blame them? You’ve been handwashing your clothes since your building hiked up the machine prices. Turns out a couple quarters can really break the bank. 
Your guilt compounds as you realise that you’ve cosigned this entire extortionate affair. This party seems to have been a ploy by a hopeful prize winner. You know Sienna and she’s always sure to show you her Fenti and point out the label, though she can never remember the name of the man who bought it. 
“So what? He gave her full run to do all this? It's not really her... style. I expected more pink,” Wendy scoffs. 
“Nope, he’s a tight ass apparently. They were up for nights making the decorations and the food.” 
“What?” She squeals in surprises as your whispers from your mouth. That’s a lot of work. 
“Very old-fashioned,” Kami remarks. “But he’s not just rich you know, he’s fucking hot.” 
“Ah, jackpot,” Wendy giggles. 
You keep behind them, as good as hiding behind them. You bob and clutch your purse as Lucas excitedly hugs Wendy and Sienna drunkenly echoes him. You know a few of the partygoers standing with them but none of them even look in your direction. It seems Wendy’s already forgotten you. 
This is why you said no at first. This is how it always goes but she begged and begged, guilting you fro making her show up alone. What about you? Why is it okay to ditch you every time? 
You glance around. There are just as many strangers and none of them seem eager to mingle past their trio or pairing. You wish Wendy mentioned the dress code. You don’t think your H&M clearance rack attire is very suiting. 
As an elbow hits your arm, you back up. No apology. You’re a piece of decor to these people. You back up and turn. Well, no one else seems to want to indulge. What a weird party. 
You go to the table and take a cup. It’s times like these that you enjoy being invisible. College was tough, you longed to be noticed, to be like the other girls. Since then, you’ve grown comfortable with just being there. It’s much safer. 
You ladle the cider into a mug and the steam roils from the top. A slice of blood orange and a few cranberries float in the rich amber liquid. You blow over it and retreat. The warmth is a comfort. It makes you feel a little less out-of-place. 
As you turn, you nearly collide with another. You bring your other hand up to steady the cup and barely keep from sloshing the cider all over. You squeak and step back on your heel, your eyes skimming up the large figure in front of you.  
You haven’t seen eyes like those since... 
“Geralt?” You utter dumbly. 
He looks down at you. He looks different but not. He always had his own vibe. The white hair, the bright eyes, he wore his individuality without meaning too. Yet some things are his own doing. 
When you were in Early Modern History or Medieval Weaponry and Warfare together, he always dressed as if the clocks were set back to the Victorian era. Stiff jackets, high collared shirts, even a pocket watch. He was a bit of a dweeb then but too big for anyone to say so. And he was the only person who wanted to talk about history outside the lectures. 
Now he wears a tunic, silver trim on black, slightly less stuffy but just as dated. Half of his hair is twisted back behind his head, the tails of it spilling past his shoulders. 
He says your name and tilts his head, “I didn’t invite you.” 
It’s a statement that makes your heart sink. You peer down at your cup then around the room. “I’m sorry, my friend, she knows Sienna, she--” 
“It’s good to see you,” he interrupts. “It’s been a very long time.” 
You wince and dare to look at him again. “Yes, college was a while ago.” You slanted your lips and press your hands to the hot metal cup. “This is your house? It’s very nice.” 
“It is. I don’t often entertain, so mind the cobwebs,” he intones. He still has that way of speaking; so matter-of-fact. “It wasn’t my idea.” 
“Mm, right,” you nod. 
“Is the cider good? I found the recipe in an old journal from 1764.” 
“Of course you did,” you hold back a laugh. 
“Of course...” he begins to repeat curiously. 
“It’s all very you, is all,” you say. 
“I suppose,” he agrees. 
You smile shakily and swallow. You make yourself try the cider. It’s hot but not scalding. A very spiced. Not in a bad way, you just don’t expect that much. 
“Mm, it’s... heady.” 
“Mulled for days,” he explains. He shifts on his feet and smooths his tunic. “Can I show you something?” 
“Um, sure,” you accept. “It’s not the door, is it?” 
He lets out a small snort, “leave the cider.” 
You peer around and he takes the cup from you. He puts it down on a leather coaster on a tall wooden table and beckons you after him. You peek back as you sense a hush and notice that Sienna and the rest of them are watching. Great, they already don’t care much for you. 
Geralt stops and waits for you to catch up to him. The staircase is wide enough for both of you. Your ascent is quiet, almost torturously so. 
“You did not bring a boyfriend?” He asks. 
You nearly laugh at the abrupt question. You get to the top of the stairs and he gestures you left. 
“Well, I’d bring my cat. He’s the only guy sleeping in my bed,” you kid. 
He hums but doesn’t comment. 
“So, how’d you meet Sienna?” You ask. 
He shrugs and stops to open a door. He pushes it inward and reaches around the frame to turn on the lights. He waits for you to enter first. You do with a gasp at the interior. 
The walls are hung with various weaponry and you can tell at a glance that it’s genuine. It’s like walking into a museum. You traipse forward as you stare and barely notice the door click shut. 
“Wow, how—Geralt, how the heck—what do you do? I mean, how can you afford all this?” 
“I make replicas for TV and stage productions,” he explains. “This is my personal collection.” 
“It’s... wow,” you hug yourself, feeling even smaller than before. 
He’s quiet again. That’s just how he’s always been. He never said more than he needed to. It made studying very easy. 
“You asked about Sienna. She is persistent but we are older now. I don’t see her as viable,” he says. Again, just a fact, nothing emotional. 
“Oh, uh, well, I heard otherwise. Maybe you should tell her that,” you chuckle nervously as you admire the executioner’s sword with its blunt tip. 
“Perhaps,” he agrees as he slowly crosses the room to stand next to you. “I’m... pleased that you showed up. It is a coincidence, isn’t it?” 
“Sure, must be,” you agree. 
You keep your eyes on the groove in the blade as you feel his on you. You sidle along and turn your head away from him. The door is shut. He stays close. 
“Here,” he steps around you, startling you. 
You spin as he goes to a large wooden chest on a table. “The smaller things are in here. Thumb screws, some daggers...” he flips open the lid as you turn and follow, keeping your distance. He holds up a curved blade, possibly a jambiya. “Hm, come,” he waves you around as he reaches in again, “you’ll like this one.” 
You sway before you move, hands clasped to each other. You slowly pace around to him and he moves so quickly you nearly stagger. In a moment, there’s a weight around your wrists. You cry out and raise your manacled arms. 
“Geralt!” You exclaim. 
He laughs. You don’t hear that often. You look at him and tug on the chain. 
“Centuries old but they are strong still, yes?” 
You frown, “please, it’s not funny. I don’t like it.” 
“Aren’t they wonderful?” 
“No, Geralt, please, take them off.” 
“Hm, I’d have to find the key...” 
“Don’t play,” you warn. 
His laughter trickles off and his face returns to its stoic mask. He stares at you. Silence rises and roils around you as the chain clinks in the loops of the cuffs and you fidget. You wait for him to pull out the key and undo them. 
Instead, he hooks a thick finger around the links and tugs until your arms are above you. He holds you like that, trapped and prone. You shudder as you stare up at him, terrified at the glint in his pale eyes. 
“I’m not playing,” he intones. “I’ve been waiting to get you in those. Far too long.” 
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nonranghaes · 3 days ago
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joshua thinks he loves you too much. that's why he's strolling up to this house 'late' for this christmas party, dressed up in a suit (rather than waiting for you in cozy sweats like you promised), and a bottle of wine he stole from jeonghan's apartment on the way over. this, in his humble opinion, is what a best friend is for: pretending to be your date when you see your ex with someone new at a christmas party you didn't know he'd be at. it's easy enough to find you socializing with this tight-lipped smile that melts into something genuine when you see him. he passes off the bottle of wine to the host and makes a beeline for you. you're a vision in blue and it's all too easy to look at you like you outshine everyone else in the room.
"hi, honey," he says, pressing a chaste kiss against your cheek. he lowers his voice to a whisper, "you owe me."
"i know." but you curl an arm around him all too easily, pulling him into your side as you immediately start introducing him and coming up with some casual lie as to why he's late.
the moment the two of you have a second to yourself, he leans in, pretending that all he's doing is stealing another little kiss and not also whispering to you. "where is he?"
"tall guy in the green sweater across the room. his new fiance looks like a candy cane."
joshua glances over, eyes widening a little at the red and white stripes that seem to jump out at him now. it's cute, sure, but still catches him off guard in a 'how did i miss them...?' kind of way. he turns back to you, and suddenly the word hits him harder. "fiance?!"
joshua remembers this guy too well: mister 'i don't think i'll ever get married again,' which wasn't a problem in the slightest in general, but it was one of the multiple reasons you ended up ending things with him. you just give him this tight-lipped smile, a hand coming to rest on his chest for a moment. you know. he can see the way you waver a little in front of him.
"fifteen minutes," he says to you. "and then we'll fake an emergency."
your hand slips into his, and he feels the way your lips press against his cheek and linger a few seconds too long. long enough to make him think a little too much about what it could mean. "thank you, honey. i owe you."
(his payment comes in the form of watching horror movies with him, dressed in your sweats again... and again when he feels you fall asleep against his shoulder, his heart fluttering in his chest.)
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