#genuinely I was like where's Neal

[nadiaerre]

“Some birds can’t be caged. We’re on borrowed time… Our sins catch up to us all eventually. While you were kidnapped, I walked in your shoes: I sat in the FBI, felt the camaraderie. It’s compelling. It’s also an illusion.”

[noonvoid]

since it’s on netflix u all have to watch killing eve now no take backs

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Ava Gardner (The Killers, The Barefoot Contessa)— She's so goddamn hot. Her and Frank Sinatra could've sandwiched me and I would've thanked them for the privilege

Patricia Neal (A Face in the Crowd, Hud, Breakfast at Tiffany's)—i just think she she emanates a raw sexual energy...i want her to divorce me

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Ava Gardner:

Ava Gardner is one of my favorite actresses of all time. Although a lot of her roles in movies are about her being beautiful and nothing else, there are some films where her acting truly shines.

Gifset: https://www.tumblr.com/pelopides/721438308726603776/ava-gardner-as-pandora-reynolds-pandora-and-the

Gifset 2: https://www.tumblr.com/portraitoflestatonfire/731899355804598272/if-the-loustat-reunion-doesnt-look-like-this-then

HER FACE. LOOK AT IT. Also was a life long supporter of civil rights and a member of the NAACP, had lots of fun love affairs with other stars, bullfighters, married several times but was also happy in between to just have lovers and was unapologetically herself.

I literally gasp every time I see her.

Between 1942 and 1964, Ava Gardner was credited in no less 50 films, and is still considered by some to be the most beautiful actresses that ever graced the silver screen. Despite life-long insecurities regarding her talent as an actress, she weathered public scandal, industry hostility, and outright condemnation by the Catholic Church with fearless grace. She would later in life talk candidly about the reality and pain of living through two (studio approved!!) abortions during her short marriage to Frank Sinatra, and while the two of them could not make their relationship work, they remained in each other’s lives for nearly 30 years. She would forever describe herself as a small-town girl who just got lucky, but always felt like a beautiful outsider.

Really genuinely one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen. An autodidact. Had amazing chemistry with Gregory Peck to the point where I do think about watching On The Beach again sometimes because they're so good together even though that movie did destroy me. Was a great femme fatale in many movies.

Patricia Neal:

[eleonoraalbright]

An Ill-Timed Confession Part 1

Pairing: Peter Pan x fem!reader (kinda)

Summary: You tell Henry about your romantic feelings towards Peter Pan. Unfortunately for you, he turns out not to be Henry.

The citizens of Storybrooke gathered in Granny’s diner to celebrate. Most wore big jovial smiles and talked excitedly to their companions. You took note of the absolute happiness that seemed to radiate from David and Mary Margret. Nevertheless, their daughter was uneasy, as if she half expected the Pied Piper himself to waltz through the doors and rip her son’s heart out.

You felt sorry for Emma’s needless worrying, but understood where it stemmed from. After all, many restless nights would have to be endured before you forgot Pan’s threats in Neverland, not that you wanted to forget every single comment of his just yet. You pushed that particular thought back deep in your mind where it would have to be reconsidered later. You chose to focus on more trivial matters.

Hook was seated at the bar, drinking with the boisterous dwarves. It didn’t escape your notice how often his gaze flickered between the Savior and her ex-boyfriend; Neal left his place beside Henry to chat with Mother Superior. You eyed the pirate’s ill-natured manner with interest when Ruby interrupted your musings of his unfortunate predicament by placing a steaming mug of apple cider on the counter.

You accepted the hot beverage, maneuvering your way through the crowded restaurant and slid into the booth to sit across from Henry. His attention was directed to the storybook in front of him. Even upside down, you recognized the illustration of Cinderella dancing at the ball with her prince. Henry glanced up, seeming apprehensive at your arrival, he tensed for some strange reason. His fingers tapped the edge of the smooth paper.

You offered him a reassuring smile. It would be reasonable for his nerves to be a bit frayed after his harrowing adventure. You blew on your drink and asked in a quiet tone, “How’re you holding up?”

“Good. It’s good to be back here with my family.”

You nodded your head in agreement. That was the understatement of the year. The distress and danger he went through the past few days must have been unimaginable. People often said kids were resilient, however, it was odd how unfazed Henry was at being reunited with his loving family. Odder still was his cold and distant attitude towards you. This was the first genuine conversation you two had exchanged since his capture. It was unlike him to keep to himself for so long.

You were close friends and confidants. It was worrisome for Henry to be this reserved around you. What had happened in Neverland that would have caused such an abrupt change? The next second, you berated yourself for such a thought, having one’s heart torn out would have drastic mental consequences. It was possible he wasn’t comfortable discussing his feelings yet. On the other hand, it would be harmful if he kept them bottled up inside his mind to fester.

The best course of action was to respect his silence and hope in time he would open up. You took another sip of cider while Henry went back to reading. The message was clear; he had no interest in talking any further. The temptation to leave was strong, but you remained in your seat. There was a question you were desperate for Henry to answer, the sooner the better. You blurted out, “What was he like?”

He glanced at you again. “Who?”

“Peter Pan. What was he like? I only met him a handful of times on the island, and he was pretty intimidating. How did he act around you? I mean, Pan was deranged, how’d he manage to convince you to give up your heart?”

Henry shrugged and flipped a page before replying. “He told me magic was dying and my heart was needed to save it. I believed him. And he was…” Henry shivered a little. “He was scary. I’m glad he’s gone.”

You propped your elbows on the table and rested your chin in the palm of your hand, waiting for him to elaborate. He didn’t. Henry reached for his glass of root beer, refusing to utter one more word. You sighed, “Too bad he was a psychopath. Pan was kinda hot.”

Henry spat out his drink, spewing the soft drink all over the table and its contents. You grabbed a handful of napkins and dabbed them on the storybook. “Henry, be careful you almost ruined it!” Emma paused speaking to her parents and shot you both a quizzical look. You waved the wet napkins at her, signaling everything was fine, only a little spill had happened.

“What did you say?” Henry wasn’t the least bit concerned about the precious book. His eyes were wide and his mouth somewhat agape.

“I know, I know, he was a murderer and evil and wanted to kill all of us. But in my defense, he was attractive.”

Henry said nothing for a solid minute, and stared at you as if an extra head had grown from your neck. You were beginning to worry that the poor boy’s brain had broken upon hearing your staggering statement.

As the seconds ticked by you began to regret saying your astonishing confession aloud. Your attraction to Pan was something you had been grappling with ever since laying eyes on him.

You shamed yourself for feeling this way toward such a revolting person, but that would not dampen them. During the adventure, it had been eating you alive from the inside out.

The rest of the group had been debating over the best way to save Henry, how to rescue Neal, and the complications of getting off the Island. Meanwhile, you had been battling the guilt of being enamored with your best friend’s captor.

Near the end of the journey, you made peace with this upsetting fact by realizing you could acknowledge Pan’s attractiveness and still hate his guts for kidnapping Emma’s son.

Though the shock on Henry’s face made you question the wisdom of admitting this so soon after the terrible ordeal. You were on the brink of explaining your more nuanced views to him on this delicate subject when his expression changed.

The corners of his lips turned upward in a disbelieving smirk as he raised one eyebrow in wonderment. He said in a soft voice, almost to himself, “You… like Pan?”

The grin spread wider across his face and he covered his mouth with a hand to muffle the sound of his laughter. His body shook in a fit of merriment. He pointed a finger at you; his eyes contained a mocking glint which was quite foreign to them. “You have a crush on Pan!”

You were uncomfortable at his reaction, but believed it was somewhat deserved. Gesturing to him to lower his voice, you attempted to hobble together a defense. “Not really a crush per say, I–”

Henry interrupted, “That’s so gross. He's– he’s Rumpelstiltskin's dad!”

“That’s true, but it just makes me wonder whether or not Mr. Gold was that good looking in his younger days,” you joked.

He shuddered at that remark and twisted his features into one of disgust. “Ew, I’ll never understand girls.” Puzzled at your stance on his villainous great grandfather, Henry probed, “Why did you like him?”

“Like is a strong word. I didn’t like him. He was gonna kill us all for Pete’s sake, but I did observe that Pan was blessed… genetically speaking.”

A mischievous air hung about Henry as he inched forward in his seat, tilting his head close to yours, and whispered in a low tone. “Tell me, do you fantasize about Peter Pan?”

Your mouth dropped open at his blunt question. You replied in a strained voice, “Henry, that’s a very inappropriate thing to ask.” What on earth had possessed him to say that?

Moments earlier, he was repulsed at the prospect of you harboring secret feelings for Pan and now he was inquiring whether or not you fantasize about his relative!

It was your turn for your brain to stop working. Henry had never, never asked you such a personal question in all your years of friendship. This was most unlike him.

Was there a chance he had bashed his head on a rock somewhere to justify this sudden change of personality? He leaned back into the booth. “That alone gives me my answer.”

Before you could chastise him for his nauseatingly smug attitude, Emma sauntered next to the table. “Sorry to break up the chit chat, kid, it’s time for something you didn’t have in Neverland. Bedtime.”

Henry closed his book, disappointed for having to leave so soon. You were quite relieved; however, sensing Henry was having far too much fun with this knowledge at his fingertips. You were too stunned at your friend’s response to see he had left with Regina and not Emma.

That conversation had left a bad taste in your mouth. Something wasn’t right with Henry and it made you uneasy. Regret at having confessed your passing fancy towards Peter Pan seeped through you. It could be that this Neverland escapade still had a few loose ends that needed to be tied up.

You help David and Emma cover Mother Superior's body with a blanket. You shoved your trembling fingers in your coat’s pockets. Your eyes darted up to the sky and scanned for any sign of the one who did this. You didn’t feel safe. At any moment you could meet the same fate as well. The danger was lurking around the corner and–

“What the hell happened?”

You jumped slightly as Regina and Henry raced up to your group.

David answered her. “The shadow, it killed her.”

“Pan’s shadow? I trapped it on the sail.” Regina was confused.

“Yeah, well, it got free.” Emma said while crouching on the steps.

Comprehension dawned on everyone as they realized what that meant. Pan was back. You moved to Henry and wrapped your arms around him in a protective gesture. All thoughts of last night's events flew from your mind.

If Pan was somehow controlling the Shadow from inside the box, then he would never stop terrorizing them until he had the Truest Believer’s Heart. Henry was going to die. The adults discussed what to do as you patted Henry on the head.

The boy said in a hollow voice, “So Pan can still hurt me?”

Regina responded to comfort him, “We don’t know that.” You knew it was inevitable he did though.

“But we have to assume he’s still a threat.” Mary Margret clasped her hands together in worry.

You added, “And that he’s after Henry.”

“Then what am I doing here?” Henry wriggled out of your grasp, looking anxious.

David said, “He’s right. He’s not safe out in the open.”

“You’ll protect me, right?” He hugged Regina as she consoled him.

You were put off at how easily he disregarded you in favor of his mother. It was like he didn’t even acknowledge your presence. But of course, it was natural for a son to turn to his mom in his time of need.

You stopped scolding yourself when you overheard Emma tell Regina that Henry didn’t seem like himself. Your feelings of unease felt vindicated now if she was aware that her son was acting a bit different. It made your head spin; what could it mean?

After convincing Mr. Gold to give up Pandora’s Box, you all drove to the edge of Storybrooke. You huddled close to Mary Margret and David, watching the red smoke swirl out of the box.

It transformed into Pan, and Emma cocked her gun. Pan stood up, breathing hard, he acted confused, and dumbfounded to see everyone's mistrustful faces. You had to admit, he was a good actor. You couldn’t believe the next words that popped out of his mouth.

“Mum?”

Emma was also taken aback. “What?”

“What are you waiting for? Shoot him,” Gold ordered.

Pan panicked. “Don’t! Please! I’m Henry. Pan, he switched our bodies.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Emma continued pointing the gun at him.

You didn’t know what to think of this situation. You wanted to trust him. It would explain Henry's peculiar actions. The other, more cynical part, of your brain was reprimanding yourself for entertaining the outlandish idea.

Pan was a master manipulator, capable of slaughtering you and your loved ones in a millisecond if it benefitted him. He toyed with people’s minds and reveled in the horrible game of it. Your sympathetic side excused that truth when seeing Pan’s face. He was hurt and betrayed. Henry, you were sure it was him, needed a friend.

You almost took a step over the red line when Gold stopped you with his cane and said, “Don’t listen to him. This is one of his tricks.”

Pan/Henry was adamant. “No, it’s not! He did it right before Mr. Gold captured me in the box. I swear!” He stepped forward, but Emma stopped him.

Holding one hand out, she commanded, “Don’t come any closer.” Mr. Gold ordered her to shoot him again. She didn’t. “Maybe he is telling the truth. Maybe that’s why I can’t shake this feeling something’s off about Henry.” Mr. Gold argued with her, but Emma asked Pan to prove his claim.

He started listing facts about Henry. They weren’t persuaded by this. Emma stated, “Pan might know facts. But life is made up of more than that. There are moments. He can’t possibly know all of them. The first time you and I connected, you remember that? Not met, but connected.”

Pan’s face softened at the happy memory. He told her the conversation they had at his castle right after she came to Storybrooke. Emma lowered her gun and embraced him. “It is Henry.”

She released him and they crossed the line into Storybrooke. Henry hugged his grandparents and you soon followed. He enveloped you in a bone crushing hug which you returned with equal joy at having your friend back. It was a little weird since every sense told you this was to all intents and purposes Peter Pan. You pulled back to examine him.

Staring into his green eyes, you squished his cheeks. “This is so surreal.” You tapped his nose. “You really look like him, ya know.” Henry laughed, a delightful but bizarre sound coming from Pan’s throat. It was too innocent.

The full impact of what was happening hit you. You retreated a couple of paces from your friends, and hid your face as mortification overcame your entire being. “Oh no.”

“What’s wrong?” Henry put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

Your face felt ablaze. If Pan was Henry, that meant… “I might’ve– I didn’t know it was him!”

Mr. Gold urged you to go on. “Yes? What is it?”

You gulped as they came closer. “Last night at Granny’s, I told Henry—who I thought was Henry—that Pan was hot.”

Both David and Mary Margret closed their eyes in exasperation. Emma stared at you, questioning your sanity. Bell grinned, and to your surprise, Mr. Gold was unbothered by this. “How tragic. However, we have larger problems that must be dealt with other than your lack of taste.”

“Do you think he’ll do anything to me for saying that to him?” You asked Henry. He had smirked at your confession, which had made your heart beat faster at the sight. You wanted to slap yourself for that reaction. Now he frowned at your inquiry.

“I don’t know. Pan might not care or he might target you because of it. Don’t worry about it. We’ll stop him.”

You climbed into the truck’s backseat. The sinking sensation settled in your stomach despite Henry reassuring you everything would turn out for the better. Peter Pan had a plan and it would lead to everyone’s ruin. Your only hope was that he wasn’t concocting a special method of torture for you since laying open your abashed feelings towards him.

(The previous night)

In the body of his grandson, Pan walked arm-in-arm with Regina down the sidewalk to her home. It was loathsome having to humor the woman while she talked to whom she believed was her son. He answered her relentless questions to the best of his ability, keeping his replies vague and unassuming.

She didn’t seem to heed his noncommittal responses. He was impatient for this part of his scheme to be done. He restrained his strong desire to kill her this instant because he had to find her vault first. Pan distracted himself from that impulse by thinking of what you had told him.

It would be beyond humiliating for you when you found out the truth. He couldn’t wait to see your gobsmacked expression when he revealed his true identity, and made Storybrooke into the New Neverland.

Peter Pan would make you regret ever spilling your secrets to him. He was eager to make you into his new plaything, to see how long it took you to cry, to break. He wondered how far over the edge he could drive you. Grateful for the limited light, he allowed a cruel, sadistic smile to form on his lips. This was all too perfect and pleasurable for him.

[radawayghoul]

His Little Dove | Chapter 1

The Plan

Warnings: cursing, slight age difference, innuendos, height difference, ummm calling people names, angst, i think i switched from second to third POV at a certain point so..bad/subpar writing is a warning lol, 18+ only, MDNI

Pairing: Lee Russell x Reader (AFAB)

Word Count: 2,123

A/N: it's finnniisshheeddd!! ugh i actually am so insanely proud of this chapter!! thank you so much to everyone who has been waiting to read this!! i'm genuinely so honored and am starting chapter two as we speak!! the comments and stuff really motivate me so much 🥹

 Following behind Lee and Neal, Y/N listened in on their conversation, a bit confused as to why you’d been invited. 

“Oh, Jesus Christ, the bloodbath begins,” Lee said around a mouth full of smoke, “She’s got me off my rocker, Gamby. We gotta act quick,” Lee adjusted his hold on his cigarette, “Now, she’s tied up in teacher reviews for the next 72 minutes. That gives us some time.” 

Y/N arched a brow. “Time to do what, Lee?” You questioned him, “Who exactly are we sabotaging?” Y/N knew the name of Lee’s game by now. 

“Oh, great, Russell, why did you invite her?! She’s not even familiar with the parameters of our plan!” Neal exclaimed, yanking his toothpick out from between his teeth, pausing in the middle of the school parking lot. 

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Gamby!” Lee whined, “Treat Y/N with a little respect! Ohhh, Y/N, darlin’, I’m so sorry for this fat fuckin’ losers disrespect, please just ignore him, okay, pretty bird?” Lee gave you a sickeningly sweet smile before turning back to Neal with a disgruntled look, “Loosen the fuck up or I will do this shit on my own motherfucker. Now, let’s go dig up some dirt on that grimy bitch.” 

Neal scoffed but followed after Lee begrudgingly, Y/N speeding up her steps to keep up. 

You had no idea WHO you were sabotaging but you weren’t one to say no to Lee. You never said no to Lee Russell. And you absolutely never fucking would. 

-----------

The three of them rolled up on a house that Y/N knew all too well. Lee’s house. This did little to lessen your confusion but you trusted Lee. 

“Is this where she lives? What a shit-hole.” Neal chuckled. 

Y/N snorted as Lee ripped off his sunglasses. 

“This is my house, motherfucker! It’s a mid-century sea ranch!” Lee yelled, huffing a sigh before continuing, “Now, stay here, I gotta go get somethin’.” Lee got out of the car and strutted towards his front door. 

“You should go easier on him, Neal. Really.” Y/N said, crossing her arms, leaning back into her seat. 

“Oh shut up, Y/N! God! Stop being so pretentious.” Neal groaned, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. 

Y/N looked over as Lee was followed out of the house by his screaming mother-in-law, Mi Cha, looking stressed to the heavens. 

“Shut up! Shut up! All I hear is gibberish from you, shut up! Go back in the house!” Lee yelled before turning to walk towards the car, “Like nails on a fuckin’ chalkboard.” He groaned, stopping when he got to the car, closing his eyes in frustration as the woman kept screaming, “GO BACK IN THE HOUSE!!!” He yelled louder this time, pointing angrily at the open door. 

“FUCK YOU!” Mi Cha yelled, finally walking back inside. 

Lee grunted as he got back inside the car, a noise that made the butterflies in the pit of your stomach stir, shoving a bag into the back of the car into your lap. 

“Y/N, would you be a dear and hold this?” Lee smiled at Y/N, always being so sweet with her, even if he was out of breath. His smile dropped, however, the minute he turned towards Neal. “Go.” Lee demanded.

“Everything okay?” Neal questioned. 

“Just go.” Lee sighed, leaning heavily into the passenger seat. 

Y/N’s heart hurt for Lee. He was always under so much stress. Ever since his mother-in-law moved in, he had not been doing so well. He’d been a bit…wilder than usual. Always wanting to get into something scandalous or cause some sort of raucous to relieve his stress. Was it always the best solution? No. No it wasn’t. But, Y/N wasn’t going to deny Lee any sort of stress relief…even if it did mean they’d have to cover for him. 

-----------

Neal cleared his throat as the three of them continued their journey to wherever it was that they were going. 

“So, uh, was that woman your wife?” Neal asked, looking over at Lee nervously. 

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle slightly. 

Lee looked at him completely disgusted. “Don’t be asking me personal questions. We ain’t fuckin’ friends, okay? This is business.” Lee scoffed. 

“Leeee..” Y/N said quietly, leaning up slightly to rest their hand on Lee’s shoulder, “Breathe.” Y/N massaged his shoulder, trying to help him relax. 

Lee relaxed a little into Y/N’s touch, taking a deep breath. Y/N was really the only one to have this sort of effect on Lee. She could calm him in almost any and all situations unless he was really, really stressed. 

“Friends?” Neal laughed, “I am not trying to be your friend.” 

“Over here tryin’ to make a fuckin’ friend and we about to do a mission.” Lee scoffed, leaning back into Y/N’s touch even further. 

Neal looked between the two of them with a raised brow, “You’re the one trying to make friends the most.” Neal challenged. 

Lee sighed, slipping his sunglasses back onto his nose. “Just shut up, Gamby, god!” 

Y/N shook her head at the two of them, pulling her hand off of Lee to sit back once more. 

-----------

The group of them rolled to a stop in a very well-off looking neighborhood. 

“Who are we here for, Lee?” Y/N questioned, peering out the window of the car. 

“Dr. Brown’s deep, dark secrets.” Lee smiled mischievously, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Belinda?! Lee…honey, I need you to bring yourself back to earth for a moment. You know I support you in all that you do but this is a suicide mission, sweetheart.” Y/N told him sweetly, sighing a little. She knew this man was up to something scandalous. 

“Don’t start, Y/N. God, you both just really wanna piss on my parade, don’t you? Maybe you two should be fuckin’ butt buddies and I’ll do the work that fuckin’ matters.” Lee grumbled, getting out of the car. 

Y/N sighed, following after him while Neal awkwardly stayed in the car. 

“Lee, sweetheart, you know it’s not like that at all!” Y/N said, walking over to place a hand on his back, “Don’t get all grumpy with me like that, it hurts my feelings, doll.” Y/N frowned up at him. 

Lee scanned Y/N’s face with his famous sad puppy dog eyes before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Alright fine, fuck!” He exclaimed, looking down at his feet, “I’m sorry, okay? There I said it. Now, come help me take this dirty bitch to hell?” Lee looked at Y/N with a cute smile, batting his lashes at her. 

Y/N closed her eyes. “I’m gonna regret this..but fine. I’d do anything for you.” Y/N muttered, shaking her head. 

“Are you two weirdos finished? We’re running out of fucking time!” Neal grumbled as he stomped over to them. 

Lee rolled his eyes, grabbing Y/N’s hand to drag her towards Dr. Brown’s house. “Shut up, Gamby!” 

The three of them shortly arrived at Belinda’s house where Neal and Lee began digging their way through the woman’s garbage. 

“Ugh,” Y/N gave them a disgusted look, “Lee, I love you, but that is fucking repulsive.” 

“Oh, please, just pretend I’m digging in your ass, that’ll make the picture a whole lot prettier.” Lee winked at Y/N with a smirk.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, heat rapidly rising to her cheeks. “Lee fucking Russell, do not say that shit to me,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, feeling sheepish. 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love it when I talk dirty to you, darlin’.” Lee’s smile grew as he took in her red appearance. 

“So..uh..I’m confused, are you two like..dating..or..?” Neal questioned, watching the pair with an expressionless face. 

“NO!” Y/N said much too quickly before steadying herself, “No, we’re just friends. Lee just doesn’t know how to shut the fuck up.” She grumbled. 

Lee placed an offended hand on his chest. “That no was a little too quick for my liking. What? Am I not good enough for you little miss honors English teacher? Huh? Not good enough for the little straight A, fuckin’ teacher of the goddamn year?!” Lee scoffed, his brows narrowed slightly. He looked genuinely hurt by her rushed response. 

“You’re fucking married, Lee!” Y/N yelled at him, eyes wide, “Why the fuck would I ever agree to someone asking if we’re dating, idiot?!” 

“Oh, don’t you start callin’ me fuckin’ names now, missy!” Lee pointed an accusing finger at her, scrunching his face up the way he does when he’s upset about something. 

“Right. Okay um, it seems like you two have a lot to work out and I really don’t care to hear the rest of this conversation because you’re both fucking stupid and I don’t care about either of you.” Neal ranted awkwardly before walking towards Belinda’s steps.

Y/N and Lee rolled their eyes at each other, following after Neal. 

“Oh..there’s no fucking way we’re breaking in here!” Y/N scolded, giving Lee a disapproving look. 

Lee shrugged, shooing Neal towards the door. 

Neal popped off his tie, wrapped it around his hand, and busted open one of the windows on the back door before sticking his hand through to pop the lock. 

“Jesus Christ,” Y/N muttered, shaking her head. She pinched the bridge of her nose with a sigh, “what are y’all getting me into?” 

“Oh shush.” Lee scolded, waltzing into Belinda’s house behind Neal. 

Y/N followed close behind. “Lee, we should not be doing this. You’re smarter than this.” 

Lee stopped and turned around to give her a cold gaze. “Am I, Y/N? Hm?” He challenged, walking towards her dangerously slow, “You don’t really know me all that well, do you?” He smirked, standing so close to her she could feel his breath fanning her face. 

Y/N gulped, trembling slightly as she peered up at him. “Stop it,” She said quietly, looking away from him, “You always fucking tease me and it’s not fucking fair, Lee, jesus.” She snapped, immediately turning and walking back out the door. 

Lee chased after her, grabbing her by her elbow. “Hey now. What's the matter with you?! Where the fuck are you going?” 

“Back to my fucking job, Lee. I am not doing this. Belinda hasn’t done shit to me. Look…I love you, Lee, I really do. You’re my best friend but this job is my fucking life. But you wouldn’t get that, would you? Because you’ve got fucking everything. You’re married, you’ve got a beautiful home, a nice car.” Y/N took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. She was overwhelmed with her feelings. His teasing usually never bothered her but today...today was different for some reason. She just couldn't go through with this any longer. “I understand why you’re doing this..and I want to help you, Lee, believe me, I do. But I can’t lose this job.” Y/N finally looked up at him, almost taken aback by the sincere look on his face. 

“Go,” He said, softly, “I’ll meet you back at the school..okay? For lunch. Like always.” Lee held out his pinky. It was their tradition to link pinkies when making plans as a promise to not let each other down. 

Y/N nodded, curling her smaller pinky around his larger one. “Like always.” She pulled her hand away, starting her journey back to the school on foot. It wasn’t far, she wouldn’t have any trouble getting there but leaving Lee behind like that when he had been counting on her to help him really broke her heart. But she couldn’t lose this job. It was all she had that kept her connected to Lee and she’d be the first to go if anyone found out about this scheme. She couldn’t risk it - couldn’t risk her livelihood and her job. Lee was everything to her. Everything. Lee was and always will be her livelihood. 

-----------

Back at Belinda’s, Lee walked back into the house with a determined look on his face, now upset that his one and only friend bailed on him. 

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” Neal said while scanning the wall of Belinda’s photos.

“What the fuck did you just say to me, Gamby?” Lee said pissily, narrowing his brows at him. 

“That girl loves you..and you’re just blind to it..I’m not good with women but you shouldn’t use her the way you do.” Neal shrugged. 

“Shut the fuck up, you ass face, you have no fucking idea what you’re even talkin’ about.” Lee scoffed, stomping off up the stairs of Belinda’s house. 

That couldn’t be right, could it? Could you really love him in that way? 

‘No,’ Lee thought, shaking his head, ‘There’s no way…right?’ 

Right? 

--

tag list: @one-of-thewalkingdead @itsyellow @ajeff855 @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @casiaregina @dried-mushroom @justme12200 @wtfwhyanyway @sequoiassoul @saturnbourne @ryankaylamartin96 @avidreadee123 @theweirdoneee @saltysultry @radskull-69 @deviantgamergirl @caligrl1992 @littlenosoul @sir-henry-may @spatialwave @danveration

[gonnadosomethingwmylife]

White collar handles angst in such a great way because 3/4ths of the characters are emotionally mature, well-regulated people so when things like El getting kidnapped for the treasure go down, Peter doesn’t blame Neal or Mozzie, and even hears out Neal’s side on how he got the treasure. El doesn’t hold any resentment either because she recognizes Keller is to blame even though he was after their treasure.

I wouldn’t have blamed them for being more mad at Mozzie and Neal, but the fact they understood where they were coming from and never misappropriately assigned blame (Peter even tells Mozzie to stop blaming himself, because it was Keller who kidnapped El) is such a huge indicator of their maturity.

Also, Peter being able to see Neal be willing to confess and go to jail for his part in stealing the treasure allowed him to see that his good influence WAS changing Neal too. Peter recognizes that Neal is genuinely trying to be better, even if he can’t fully kick his habits, so even when Neal fucks up, he always keeps that in mind.

There are other examples, but how they handled the treasure fallout really stood out.

[hellfirecvnt]

Teacher Work Day

Lee Russell x Fem!Reader pt. 3

Summary: "Is that bitch pissing on that cop car?"

Notes: Whoops. This one's long. Idk why I keep doing that lmao.

Part one here. // Part two here. // Part four here. // Part five here.

The next day, the aforementioned Teacher Work Day, you show up hungover as all hell. You groan out a pained sound as you step inside the school underneath the bright, fluorescent lights. They claw and beat on your skull with every pulse of your heart. Your sunglasses do little to stifle the ache.

"Hey!" A voice that's far too excited for your liking. Whereas you're usually a tame person, this hellacious hangover has you out of character. "I just wanted to introduce myself to the new secretary. I'm Bill Hayden."

"My God, you are awake, aren't you?" You do your best to smile, peeling the useless sunglasses from your face. Across the foyer, watching from the large glass wall of his office, Gamby holds a phone to his ear. Lee's voice chimes a greeting from the other end.

"You're gonna be pissed if you get here too late and Bill fucking Hayden's made his move on Ms. Y/L/N." He taunts.

"Yeah, maybe I can show you around town sometime. Show you all the cool spots," he says with a smooth laugh. The young teacher's try-hard flirting is enough to make you gag, hangover or not.

"I just heard him offer to show her around town." Neal shakes his head.

"What are you talking about?" Lee ponders, sounding obviously stressed.

"Bill Hayden is making a pass at Y/L/N. Where are you?" Gamby's voice becomes urgent.

"I fuckin' told your stupid ass I had to meet with the lawyers today."

"I thought you said your divorce was finalized," he says, still watching as you wait for Bill to stop talking.

"Yeah, they usually like to get paid after they do that for you, dumbass. I'll be there in 20 minutes." He's about to hang up until Neal starts talking again.

"She's probably only talking to him because I told her you were into her, but when she asked you out, you said no."

"What?"

"It's okay, I told her that you are probably not into her anymore." Neal nods, pleased with his own actions for some reason.

"Gamby, what the hell? Why?"

"What do you mean 'why?' She asked you out and you said no. Did you want me to lie?"

"I want you to stop fucking talking!" Lee hangs up and tosses his cell phone into the back seat of his car as he drives down the highway. "Bill Hayden, you shifty little bitch."

He whips through a local coffee shop, because fuck Starbucks, and grabs some coffees for whoever. He just doesn't want to show up empty handed after Neal has taken to intruding on his dynamic with you. He quickly throws the car in park and speed walks inside with a peculiar amount of energy in his hips.

When Lee walks through the door, your face lights up. It doesn't go unnoticed. For just a second, Lee's eyebrows threaten to knit as he watches your expression change. He wonders if he underestimated his chances with you.

"Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N," he chimes, leaving one of the hot drinks on your desk.

"Thank you, Mr. Russell." You grin, genuinely thankful for the caffeine that you're praying will set you right for the rest of the day.

"Why don't you come with me, darlin'? If I don't claim you now, you'll be stuck running bullshit errands for Gamby." A wave of relief washes over you as he says this. You whisper a quick thank you and slip out from behind your desk. After grabbing your coffee, the two of you head down the hall.

You reach a set of double doors and as he holds it open for you, a student walks in. You're still learning names, but you recognize him as Todd. A freshman that loses his phone and has to come to the office to pick it up relatively often.

"Todd, honey, you can't be here," you say in your soft, teacher voice.

"Todd Frechett, what are you doing here?" Lee interrupts.

"I'm going to school." The short, blond kid looks around, confused.

"It's teacher work day, we did announcements about it every day this week. Go home." Lee shifts his weight onto his hip, waiting for the student to exit.

"But my mom's not home and the door's locked."

"Okay, well, then go bowling or play stupid video games, or go masturbate in your car- whatever it is that teenage boys do." He explains. "You can't be here."

"Uhh, uh-" he seems genuinely at a loss for what to do.

"No, no, no. Not 'Uh, uh, uh.' Go home." He finishes, shoving Todd out the doors he came through. "Open this door, open the next door. Open the door after that."

Lee and the student go back and forth for a while as the kid walks away, exiting the school.

"We need a day without children please!"

"Alright!" He shouts back, the door closing behind him, ending the interaction.

"Um, Lee. I don't think you're allowed to say half the shit you just said to that kid." You look at him with concern, sipping your caffeinated drink as the two of you continue walking.

"He won't remember it tomorrow. Kid's got ADHD and two Christian hippies for parents." Lee's words confuse you and you nearly get a headache trying to decipher what he means.

"So, you were a little late today." You change the subject. "Everything okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. It was nothing." He shrugs. Nothing, you repeat inside your head. Nothing kept him from having a drink with you last night, he just didn't want to and that's fine. You try to bury your embarrassment under a smile, knowing it'll pass in a short while. Rejection is part of the human experience.

"So, uh, listen. About those drinks," Lee starts. He's got a stupid smile on his face as if he's almost in disbelief that he's already finding himself speaking so boldly to you. The divorce had been drawn out for a while, his feelings for his ex-wife have long since fizzled. But it just seems so fast. Too good to be true.

"Oh, please. No worries. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm still not allowed to talk to teachers, I think. I just didn't want to drink alone," you say, hoping to ignore the situation and allow your humiliation to fade out with dignity. You let out a fake laugh.

"No, I mean, this weekend. Maybe you and I could get those drinks." Strangely enough, his palms sweat with nerves.

"Drinks this weekend? I'm in. This week has already been a shit show," Gamby appears from seemingly nowhere. "Y/L/N, grab a clipboard-"

"Not today, Gamby. She's the secretary, not your personal assistant. Get an ISS kid to do it." Lee waves him off.

"Fine. Payday drinks this Friday. I'm in." Neal snatches one of the coffees from Lee and takes off down the hall. There is no way out of it, as arguing with him is like negotiating with a brick, you might as well accept that Gamby will be crashing your date.

You and Lee share a knowing look and he rolls his eyes. You can't help but laugh.

"At least we know it'll be a fun evening," you chuckle.

"I'm certain he will turn the night into a shit show the minute we get there, but sure. It'll be interesting."

The rest of the week is filled with nonsense and plotting from your two higher ups. They can barely seem to agree on anything until Neal learns that Dr. Brown has a history of alcoholism. The three of you gather in Lee's office.

"That's perfect, Gamby. Invite her out to payday drinks, we'll knock that bitch right off the fucking wagon." Lee looks elated.

"I hate to rain on your parade, Lee. But if she's been sober for this long, there's a high chance she'll say 'no' to going out and drinking," you chime in.

"Listen. That bitch is going down one way or another. Let's just invite her to dinner and see where it goes," Lee stares deeply into your eyes and you almost forget to respond.

"Y/N's gonna have to show up separate from us. Brown doesn't fraternize with staff under her VPs," Neal injects.

"Okay, well. Don't call yourself a VP. That sounds too important," you sneer.

"Too impor-? I am important."

"Yeah, but it sounds like you see yourself as like a Vice President or something." You can't help but tease.

"I'm close enough. I'm fuckin'... Vice President of this school." Neal fumes.

"Whatever, whatever. I'll be there before you guys get there. I can't let my bosses know how high my tolerance is anyways." You shrug and the two men look at each other for a moment and then back to you.

"Go see what she says, Gamby, and report back," Lee instructs and Neal just about listens to him, but then he stops in his tracks and turns back around.

"You've been sending me off a lot. Bossin' me around. Makes me think you might think you're in charge or something." He squints his eyes. "Or are you just trying to get some alone time with Y/N even though you rejected her and she drank alone about it last night?"

"Je-sus Christ, Gamby." You stare down at the floor in front of you with wide eyes and a flushed face.

"Will you please get the fuck out of here?" Lee pinches the bridge of his nose. "Go, go!" He ushers Neal out the door, closing it behind him. Lee returns to his seat behind his desk and glances up at you where you stand, smiling from the embarrassment and humor of the entire situation.

"He's the fuckin' worst, right?" You chuckle, only half joking with that statement. You take a seat across from his desk. "I was going to drink anyways, by the way. It wasn't because you weren't there." Lee laughs at your clarification.

"A fucking idiot, just an absolutely stupid motherfucker. I'm bewildered," he huffs, leaning back in his chair.

"I guess I'll get back to the desk. Mrs. Frechett will probably be calling us after a while." You straighten the stapler on Lee's desk and he watches your delicate hand as you do it. Just as you're taking a step toward the door, he speaks.

"What if I did just like being around you? Alone? Would that make you uncomfortable?" His words cause heat to rise in your face, you feel it all the way to your ears. He's posed his question like a hypothetical, but you're no fool.

"Gross," you say in jest with little thought at all. Lee's face immediately drops to one of confusion. "Oh, my God. I'm kidding. I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that." You shake your head, clearly taken aback by your own actions. "It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, Lee. You're the best part of my day, usually."

"Usually?" He questions as an uncontrollable smile creeps onto his face.

"Yeah, sometimes Neal just sweeps me off my feet. All that shit about leadership definitely does it for me." You fan yourself, playfully. Lee can't help but laugh, utterly charmed. Time slows down, it seems, as the two of you laugh together. In the same moment he allows himself to feel comfortable with you, his mind is flooded with doubts and anxieties.

He and his ex-wife, Christine, haven't been divorced for long, but the marriage itself was over long ago. His feelings for her are all but a memory. What troubles him now is the fear of being left again. No, not in an overdramatic, help him feel whole again type of way. It's just a lingering fear. When Christine left, it was hard on him. With the divorce freshly finalized, he wonders if he can handle the stress of doing it all again should something go wrong.

The next day, after the school day concludes, you leave work and head home to get ready to meet the guys and Dr. Brown for drinks, staging it as an accidental run-in. After changing into some comfortable, casual clothes, you make your way to the bar.

To your satisfaction, none of the cars in the lot are recognizable. You park on the far side in the darker corner, hoping your car doesn't stand out too much. Inside the bar you order two drinks, slamming them down as quickly as possible before your coworkers arrive.

"Ms. Y/L/N? Is that you?" Principal Brown's smooth voice rings behind you. You turn around, flashing a face of convincing shock.

"Dr. Brown! Oh my goodness!" You chime, reaching to bring her in for a friendly hug. "Let me buy you a drink!"

"No thank you, Y/N. Now, you all know I don't drink," she laughs warmly. A sense of pride in her words. You begin to wonder if opening your mouth is the right thing to do, but after one glance at Lee, you do it anyway.

"I hear you, ma'am. I have a terrible history with drinking as well," you admit, only half lying. Is it really history if you're still drinking? Oh well. Brown's eyes go wide as she takes in your words. "I was clean as a whistle and straight edge as they come for years after initially getting sober." You finish your third drink. "But then I realized that if I have to force myself to not even look at the bottle, then alcohol still controls my life. Moderation is what I strive for."

You set the glass down on the bar and shrug with a smile, insinuating that it's your first drink of the night.

"Moderation, B. It's a beautiful thing," Lee announces, having just ordered a round of shots. "I know that whole book fiasco got you down. Leblanc fuckin' humiliated you at that tribunal."

Belinda seems to weigh her options before snatching the last remaining shot, and joining the group as you all toss it back. She releases a hyper sound, whooping like a sports fan as the clear, burning liquid enters her system for the first time in years.

"Yeah, Dr. Brown!" You cheer, signaling for another round. Round after round, with fruity cocktails in between, even Lee and Neal find themselves more buzzed than planned, but you're still stone-faced. Dr. Brown wavers on the cusp of belligerent and blackout.

You and Lee step outside to have a cigarette, mostly to escape the overwhelming nature of a drunk Dr. Brown.

"Did you really have a drinking problem?" Lee asks, wanting to dissect how much of your monologue was just a performance.

"Shit, I think I have a drinking problem right now," you joke. "Nah, that was all bullshit." He bursts into laughter, impressed by your quick-witted nature.

"Sure wasn't hard to convince her, huh?" Lee gestures to the door where a drunken Principal Brown terrorizes the locals.

"Not at all. She was basically grabbing the glass while I was still talking."

"I really appreciate your help, Y/N," he speaks softly. "Gamby's a fucking idiot, there's no way we'd make it this far if it weren't for you."

"Thanks, Lee," you smile with pride. You look down at your hands as a thick silence grows between you. "The other day, when you were late to work, did you really have something to do, or was it an elaborate rejection? I've learned you're pretty elaborate."

Lee sighs.

"Y/N, I'm newly divorced. My wife left me one day... Unexpectedly." He knows that's a lie and he's pretty sure you know that too. "I was paying my lawyers, filling out paperwork." He shrugs, waving his hand around as if to dismiss the matter.

"Okay, yeah, sure. Except you can do all of that over your phone nowadays." You lean against the railing outside the bar.

"I know, I just-" he searches for anything to say besides admitting it scared him to pursue you so quickly.

"So you could've had a drink with me after all," you smirk, reading his hesitation. Understanding his explanation, even if you've never been in that situation.

"Guess so," he mirrors your smile, slowly drawing closer and closer to you. Before either of you are aware, you're nearly pressed against each other. Lee's chest rises and falls at a rapid rate and you watch his eyes dance back and forth from your eyes to your lips. Your face feels hot and the heat only grows more intense until you finally close the gap, pressing your lips to his.

His well-tended hands wrap around your body, pulling you closer to him, and deepening your kiss. You reach your arms around the back of his neck, resting them there comfortably as your heads move in sync, albeit sloppily. Lee's grasping at any part of you he can, pulling you as close to him as possible. Your breathing quickens and a small moan escapes your mouth until you hear something strange and pull away.

"Lee."

"What?" He sounds annoyed to have lost contact with your mouth.

"Did you just hear Belinda say a slur?" You squint as if it'll help you hear better. At that moment, the door flies open and Brown is quite literally thrown out the door, Gamby close behind.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, Gamby!" Lee exclaims, laughing maniacally at Brown's physical state.

"Oh, fuck. My purse is inside!" You run to the door and beg for them to let you inside just to grab your belongings. They're hesitant, but after seeing you so coherent, they let you in to recover your things, demanding that you leave right after. You show no protest and quickly make your getaway as promised.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, you scan your surroundings for your group, more importantly, Lee. They're a few blocks down the sidewalk doing something you're not close enough to decipher. As you speed walk up to them, you realize Dr. Brown is standing on top of a cop car and...

"Is that bitch pissing on that cop car?" Your jaw drops.

"Fucking pig!" Belinda chants as she urinates down the windshield of the police cruiser. Lee makes sure to gather every bit of evidence he can, while Gamby stands off to the side, looking a little guilty. You understand his empathy, but you crave Lee's approval over social acceptance and that's just something you've come to terms with. Maybe you're not so far off from him on the crazy scale.

Right after her golden shower, Principal Brown passes out, tumbling down the front of the cruiser.

"Oh, shit!" Gamby runs to help her up.

"Cut me out of that shit, I want no part in it," you point to Lee with a serious expression.

"I need to get her home, ASAP." Gamby says, helping her to her feet.

"I'll drive Lee home. You get her to a bed." You shake your head, leaving the men to help Dr. Brown to Gamby's car. You jog over to your own vehicle in the dark corner you parked in and fumble with your keys, finally feeling your buzz. Worst timing ever.

"Let's see that purse," an unfamiliar voice speaks from behind you. You turn around with a raised brow and see a tall, skinny man in a hoodie, hiding his facial features. In the shadows, you can still see his pale hands as he lunges toward you.

"What the fuck?!" You attempt to fight the man off as he tugs on the strap of your purse. He wrestles it off your shoulder and the two of you play a sort of tug of war. "Fuck off!" You scream, echoing through the parking lot.

"Was that Y/N?" Lee's head pops up from the car he's helping Belinda into.

"I heard it too," Neal scans the parking lot.

"Let go!" You wail, out of sight. Neal rummages through his center console and then takes off toward the sound of your voice. Lee's not far behind, squinting his eyes to attempt to see further into the darkness. "I swear to fucking God when I get my concealed carry license switched over-"

"Hey!" Lee's voice booms across the lot as they close in on you. The man quickly releases your back, causing you to jerk and stumble backward, falling to the ground with a hard thud. Lee runs to your aid while Neal, broken out in a full drunken sprint, hunts down the assailant and bashes him once in the back of the head with his brass knuckles.

"Hey, you okay?" Lee kneels beside you, placing a soft hand on either side of your face, searching you for wounds. "Did he hurt you?" He asks with an eccentric amount of worry.

"No, dude. He couldn't even get the bag out of my hands," you break into a laugh and he joins you, just from the relief of seeing you okay. Eventually, Neal returns with his brass knuckles ever so slightly bloody. It was less about defending you and more about getting to use his new brass knuckles.

"The thief has been taken care of," Gamby says with his eyes narrowed.

"Mr. Gamby, did you just kill that man?" You ask, shocked.

"No, but I could've." He walks away without another word, heading out to drive Dr. Brown home. You climb into your driver's seat and Lee slips into the passenger side. It's quiet for just a moment before you speak up.

Maybe it's the alcohol and adrenaline talking, but you do very little to stop it. You bite your lip before finally speaking up.

"Lee?" He looks at you, buzzed and smiling. "Do you want to come back to my place?"

(Part 4 coming soon!)

•••

Taglist: @its-in-the-woods // @justme12200 // @sixx-writes // @littlenosoul // @itsyellow // @blackwoodtree

[buzzyb33]

I’ve been so obsessed with sidemen recently it’s so bad😭 specifically Tobi if I’m honest, hes literally so sweet I love him sm

anywayss I was hoping for a friends with benefits type fic w tobi, where him and reader kinda just will do whatever they feel like with eachother, whether that be cuddling, being each others plus ones to events, doing other fun things (😳). they’re basically dating at this point but neither of them have the guts to flat out say anything about it.

maybe tobi is talking with the other sidemen and casually mentions that he’s shared a couple kisses with reader (or more idk🤭) and they all encourage him to just ask her out on a real date

just wanted to send something in bc I’ve been obsessed with this man for a while now😭 you don’t have to write this if you don’t feel like it! thank you!!

ps: love your work, your writing style is so amazing and perfect 🩷

TOBI? OF COURSEEEE

Prompt: since Tobi used one of his passes to be Y/ns plus one to a wedding the boys have been suspicious. Though she was already a friend of them then two seem closer than ever

Warnings: suggestive content,

Tobi sighs as he gets to the set, he hasn’t seen the boys in roughly a week as he went out with Y/n to a wedding as her plus one, his mind was full of her still.

The two were close, she held him when his mental health declined and he was feeling down, in the comfort of their little relationship.

He also held her when she was getting trolled on the internet, which was massively getting her down.

And when Tobi got a little tipsy at the sidemen 10 year party you two got frisky in a corner- ending in you going back to his hotel room with him which ended in expected sex.

When you got nominated and won an award for the female content creator of the year along with Eleanore Neale he buried his head between your thighs to congratulate you.

Also when he scored the sixth goal in the sidemen charity match- to congratulate him he got back to his hotel room when you came to speak to him, he shut the door and you instantly sunk to your knees before him.

“Well done tobi.. my way of saying well done? I’m not good with my words..” you peered up at him as you worked on his jeans.

But as he stood before you during one of your old school friends wedding in your blue thigh high dress, your beautiful smile accompanying that.

Sighing, he walked into the house for the recording and was met with a cheer.

“Tobjzl! What do we owe the pleasure!?” Ethan calls with a grin on his face.

Rolling his eyes in response and sitting down on the settee next to josh and Harry.

“Where was you last week?” JJ questions with a surprising amount of genuine confusion in his voice.

“I was at a wedding.” He replied.

“Who got married?”

“My friends friend.”

“JJ he was with Y/n the whole weekend.” Simon interjects with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Tobi's response is a simple eye roll but as JJ laughs and Simon seems to be waiting for a confirmation or even a denial he reluctantly speaks up: "she asked me to be her plus one- Simon just called me when we was talking."

"She your girl?" Josh grins with a nudge to Tobis side.

“No.”

He wants her to be.

During the recording he checked his phone briefly and seen a message from no other than the girl he was infatuated with reading out an innocent “will you come over later?”

-

Meeting Josh for lunch the next day after having a night with Y/n, his mind a nice set of bliss.

The way her lips moved with his- her hands on his shoulders in a desperate way, how she whispered how much she missed h-

“Tobi, are you listening?”

“Tobi?” Josh’s voice sounds through his clouded mind.

“Yeah- sorry mate- what?”

“I was just saying how lannan was flying down soon- tobi, are you alright?” Josh’s voice masks concern.

“Yeah- I’m just a bit distracted..”

“With what?”

“… y/n.”

Josh smiles slightly. “What? Have you got a date?”

“That’s the thing- we’ve you know- but I don’t know if it’s just.. physical or she wants something- I do, I’m ready to commit but-“ he sighs.

“Have you shagged?” He urges.

“Well- yeah.”

Josh nodded slowly.

“Tobi- she initiates conversation just as you from what you say so just- ask her but make sure it’s clear of your intentions,”

“Okay- yeah, okay..”

Tobi forced the thought of you to the back of his mind as he spoke to Josh over food, nice conversations flowing.

-

I get a knock at my door and flat out my grey vest.

I open the door and see Tobi, a surprising factor as he normally messages me.

“Tobi! Did you leave something here or?..” I ask with a smile.

“No, no, uh can I come in?” He questions with a nervous smile, both hands behind his back.

“Yeah- course.”

I step out of the way and he exhale deeply, pulling his hands from behind his back and handing me a beautiful bouquet of light blue and pink lilies.

“Will- do you wanna go out? Properly? On a real date?” He taps his foot lightly as I look in awe at the flowers.

“Tobi- of course I will… You got me flowers?” I whisper as I feel my water line fill with tears.

“Great! And yeah I got you flowers- do you not like them?” A smile adorns his lips as he speaks, nervousness still swimming in his dark eyes.

“I- love them.. I’ve never got flower’s before..” I reply with a hint of emotion.

“A beautiful girl like you should get flowers every waking minute.” He grins softly as I hurry into my kitchen to put them in a vase.

I feel his eyes on me and as I cut the tips I turn to face him, hugging him tightly.

“You- wanna get serious? Not just.. what we do?” I ask as he squeezes me back.

“Yeah, I do, if you’re okay with that.” He murmured softly into my hair as he sways with me in his arms.

“I’m great with that.”

A/n:

JAMES MARRIOTT IS UP NEXT!!

Anyway I really hope you like this I’m sorry it’s short I was struggling a bit feel free to request some more!!

Requests are open

Masterlist!

[couldpolyamorysavethem]

ELIZABETH BURKE, PETER BURKE, and NEAL CAFFREY from WHITE COLLAR

Justification:

"okay listen this might already be in the queue but i sincerely believe the last three seasons of the show would've gone in a completely different direction if peter got that last little push away from his bullshit cop behaviour by neal pulling some grand romantic gesture for him + el. like, come on man, you've already come to peace with legality not being the same as morality after you ran all those cons and let neal cut and run, but he's so convinced the ONLY way to do good in the world is being an fbi agent that he like, actively makes things worse for neal (AND HIMSELF? AND ELIZABETH?) over and over again just so he can preserve the status quo of neal being his CI + while peter's an active field agent. would kissing about his devotion to their dynamic and neal's rehabilitation and peter's complicity in neal's dehumanisation by the state solve that? maybe not! but considering the alternative is neal fucking dying (he got better) about it i think we should give it a shot!

that previous paragraph was more or less me preaching to the choir wrt this relationship but still here's my pitch:

neal is essentially already the third in elizabeth + peter's marriage, with how much he lives in peter's brain during pre-series sequences, how INVESTED he is in their relationship (reminding peter of anniversaries), and then IN the actual series that only increases when he's coming around to their place all the time

each pair within this trio have supporting but distinct relationships w one another that they all benefit from (and they often need the support of all three dynamics to get through Issues™)

that one episode where peter ends up on the run w another fbi agent and neal gets paired up with that guy's CI, and there's just an unbelievable amount of parallels between the two pairs and their relationship, even after its established that those two are in a romantic relationship and peter and neal 'aren't'. like peter says he'd go to neal first if he was ever in trouble LIKEEE

fucking everything about the run up to the finale of season 2 where we hear over and over again that the only two ways conmen end up are with 'one last score' (which inevitably leads to the next, because they can't help themselves), or going to prison. OR, the 'true love' option, where an ex-conman is able to genuinely settle down and go straight (more or less). this 'secret third option' is literally even spelled out to us IN an episode about a trio of thieves (byron june and ford) who meant the world to each other!

neal uses the engagement ring he was GOING to give to his TEXTUAL 'true love' in order to pay for peter's ransom that one time and isn't even cut up about it??

also like the episode before that neal and peter switch identities (very well) and neal acts like elizabeth's wife, and the only issue peter (or anyone) has with it is that he's also committing the crime of impersonating a federal agent.

season three finale where peter asks why neal didn't run when he just got the score of his life and the first thing he says is 'you, elizabeth', before listing literally anything else. INCLUDING HIS CURRENT ROMANTIC INTEREST?

also the scene before that where neal immediately folds from his season long cat and mouse game with peter and hiding the treasure because elizabeth's in danger! and peter only believes he's not lying abt any of it bc it's elizabeth!

that one shot in the pilot where neal and elizabeth look up at peter and you can so clearly see he has a type.

literally everything about elizabeth + neal's interactions in s1. get you a girl who sneaks you into her house past dozens of fbi agents so you can talk to your handler personally about being framed for a crime that she has no reason to suspect you didn't do other than believe in your and her husband's relationship!

im losing track of my argument at this point. anyway can someone please knock peter upside the head with some kind of bi awakening for the love of god this homoerotic 'partners' situation has an unbelievably high body count not to mention all the violation of civil liberties and frankly you could've all moved to paris and started a detective agency YEARS ago and this show would become slice of life" - @time-is-restored

[bodiesbodiesbodiesx3]

wait, genuinely, what's the black history behind dyke? i've never heard anything about it, so i'm genuinely curious to learn, if you don't mind explaining? (completely fine if not!) (also apologies if i worded the question a bit weird, wasn't sure how else to say it)

it's fine, its fine!

So consider this a LOOSE timeline, like loose, I had to research this for cultural studies

In the 1920s, around 1919-1921, "bulldyking' and bulldyke, both of which are considered to be dyke's predecessor was heard and noted down by white professors to be AAVE, specifically used by black women with the first woman to use dyking around being a (black) woman from a Harlem prison. However, bulldyke has been recorded far earlier than that in the black community with Harvey Neal as it was their nickname and was mentioned in the 1890s as a woman won their affections. Knowing the meaning of Bulldyke, Harvey Neal was most likely a black butch lesbian of their era and was also recorded in 1906's Human Sexuality as vert specifically being the speech of Philadelphians (historically black) and Backcountry Black Americans, reaffirming it as AAVE.

In 1926, Nigger Heaven was released and written by a white man based around the black people of Harlem, specifically around the Harlem Renaissance and was the first time Dyke as a term was used to mean lesbian, coming from the shortening of bulldyke or more particularly, BD Woman (bulldyke woman). This was the true first instance of dyke ever being used to mean lesbian in any instance.

It was then recorded in the 1930s in the American Slang Dictonary as an alternate term for lesbian and during that era, wasn't even considered a slur but simply black people slang.

Dyke became a slur during the fifties when white people and this unfortunately includes white sapphics of that era began using it as a slur against black lesbians (and other lower class lesbians but this often again mostly is black people of that era) and in thw 60s, was used against all lesbians because of association of black masculinity and then merged to lesbianism as a whole.

It was ""reclaimed"" in the 1980s but with reclamation, came erasure. Most non-black sapphics in that era simply refused to acknowledge its history if they were aware and any connections we had as black lesbians were lost outside the black community because it meant acknowledging the origins. This is where the alternate etymologies began showing up.

[greysontolliverowned]

Neal Shusterman disgusts me. This is nothing new, of course, but many people in the Arc of a Scythe fandom haven't read Nicht Schöner als Ich and I feel like it should be talked about.

Nicht Schöner als Ich, translating to "No More Beautiful than Me" in English, is a short story in Gleanings that was written exclusively for the German-language copy of the book. It's about the purge of all mortal-born people that was briefly mentioned in The Mortal Canvas. I haven't finished it yet, I genuinely don't know if I can considering everything it is about (and the fact that It takes about 20 minutes just for me to translate a page, but that doesn't matter), but the basic premise from what I can tell is that Rasmus has to flee where he is with his grandma, Elke, who was born mortal, so that the scythes of the purge don't glean them. These specific scythes kill mortal-born people so that they can "cleanse" the population as all a show of power, a show of torture and bias, and a want to rule their own world.

Of course most of Shusterman's works are about killing, death, sacrifice, running and corruption and stuff. Translating this story, though, really makes me uncomfortable in the way it mirrors current events, with the genocide in Palestine, and the way Neal Shusterman is ignoring and literally engaging the killing of tens of thousands of people all while writing sympathetically about people being attacked and targeted in such a similar way is just so hypocritical and gross.

This is your reminder: I know you've probably heard this all before, but it cannot be forgotten about or ignored. Do NOT support Neal. Don't buy his books, don't buy his merchandise; if you want to read his books, buy them second-hand or support your local library. Try to minimize the clout you give him. Personally, I feel comfortable mostly interacting with people who are already in/have been in the fandom, and I don't want to post much or share his books, but absolutely no hate to people who still want to post about his content. Over 26,000 people have been killed in Gaza now. This is not something that you can just ignore, and this is not something you can be neutral on.

[nicedeviledhamrightthere]

click

Summary: Neal tries to teach Peter some important life skills.

Words: 819

Warnings: none

Read on AO3: click (this fic is so short that I posted the whole thing here too)

Notes: This fulfills two squares on my hurt/comfort bingo card - "I trust you" and "exhaustion", plus "under 1k words" on my White Collar bingo card. It's short and sweet. Little emotional hurt much comfort. This was written in fifteen minutes, unedited, sorry about the quality. The image was too cute to pass up.

================================================

Click. He’s out...again.

“How do you do that?” Peter asks, bewildered. Neal’s summer sky blue eyes twinkle with mischief and he bows his head affectionately.

“Trade secret,” he says, but only because he’s afraid Peter is smart enough to keep him in cuffs someday. Figure out a way to lock him up for his own good. Still, the number of times Peter has found himself in cuffs recently pulls at Neal’s heart – surely he could show him one way. One wouldn’t hurt. “It’s all about tools. You have to carry things with you that no one would be suspicious of.”

“Like MacGuyver. A paperclip and bubble gum, that kind of thing?”

Neal rolls his eyes and nods. “Yeah. Like that.” Quickly, Neal jumps up and rummages around in Peter’s desk drawer. No one else is in the office, they’d been alone for hours now pouring over case files with nothing but coffee to nudge them forward in their pursuit. Until it became too much and Peter started dozing at his desk. Until he decided they would play a game to stay awake – he wanted to know how Neal escaped over and over. “It’s relevant,” he’d assured him. “This guy is as slippery as you are.”

“Oh I doubt that,” Neal says without an ounce of humility. “Come on Peter.”

And that was how Neal found himself slipping handcuffs over and over, using different tools, attached to furniture and doors and in compromising positions. Peter couldn’t seem to find a way to hold on to him.

If that wasn’t a metaphor for the storm in his heart, he didn’t know what was. Best not to think about that.

“Here,” Neal hands Peter a couple of items and shows him where to stash them so they’re useful. Peter frowns.

Peter looks him up and down, tired eyes soft but full of intrigue. “I trust you.” Does he? Where did that come from? What’s to stop Neal from leaving him cuffed in his office all night and just disappearing?

“You always have these things on you like this?”

“Maybe. Not the point. You’re learning.” He pauses, the cuffs in his hands. “Are you sure?”

Trust, he hopes. He trusts that Neal will always try to deceive him, but he also trusts that Neal genuinely cares for him.

There are tears in Neal’s eyes. He blinks them away and turns his head to the side for a moment – when was the last time someone said they trusted him? He was, by nature, not to be trusted. He’s a conman. Even Mozzie doesn’t fully trust him – sure, he loves him, but he doesn’t trust him. Not the way that Peter means right now. Thieves don’t think like that, they always hold something back. Peter doesn’t hold anything back. It’s heavy and it hurts his chest.

“Don’t go soft on me Caffrey,” Peter urges, holding his wrists out expectantly. “Cuff me.”

Neal clicks the cuffs in place and steps back, folding his arms over his chest. He blinks the last of the burning in his eyes away and watches as Peter struggles. It was a lot harder to get to his items than he’d originally thought. He shifts and wiggles and Neal shakes his head.

“You’re being too obvious. If they catch you squirming around like that they’re going to search you and take everything they find.”

“Alright slick, how do you do it?”

“It’s all in misdirection. Go for the cufflink, it’s the easiest. And talk to me while you’re doing it. Distract me. Say words that lead my attention around the room.”

“What does that mean?”

“Say something about a door. Not this door, just a door. Or a light. Anything to draw my eyes away for a second, it’ll be almost unconscious. I can’t help but follow if you’re smooth enough.”

Peter yawns and tries to follow, but he finds that it’s Neal directing him. He’s not even sure what Neal is saying and it doesn’t matter, it’s not what he’s saying, it’s how he’s saying it. Neal is putting him to sleep. It’s the relaxed cadence of his speech, his casual demeanor, his peaflower eyes. Peter yawns again. Neal grins.

“Sleepy Peter?”

“You’re scary, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told. See how easy it is to get someone to do what you want just by saying a few words?”

“Neal…” Peter scolds, lifting his hands expectantly. Neal shakes his head.

“You can do this yourself Agent Burke. I’m going down to the coffee machine. You’d better be out by the time I get back.”

Peter is still in cuffs when Neal gets back. Still in cuffs and fast asleep with his forehead on a pile of papers.

“Hopeless,” Neal whispers, crouching to unlock Peter’s hands. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

“….so much work to do…”

“Not when you’re drooling on our case files. It can wait until morning.”

[summerfevers]

running """joke""" of peter threatening to send neal back to prison is OVER. clear as day in my mind i can invision this instead. peter, believing neal to be 35 in s1 (a full decade older than he actually was), has a conspiracy corkboard in his basement (why don't the burkes have a basement?) full of his 'evidence' of how neal and mozzie were the ones behind the isabella stewart gardner museum heist. here is the police sketch of the suspects so you can see where peter is coming from with this:

neal thinks this is hilarious. he's flattered, honestly. no one in the fbi is seriously investigating this, this is peter's passion project. he thinks neal was like 17 (the robbery was in 1990 btw) and that he was mozzie's apprentice or something. he thinks the thieves making sure the security guards taped up in the basement weren't uncomfortable and even chatting with them SCREAMS neal&mozzie shenanigans. this mystery of the ages heist that changed museum robbery forever is exactly the kind of bullshit neal and mozzie used to get up to.

but all good things must come to an end... at some point when peter is in his distrusting neal part of his friendship cycle he is REALLY leaning into this. tbh with neal's history he is getting a little worried that a court could be convinced of peter's tale. he has to break it to him.

peter has neal captive at the kitchen table, going over his "timeline of events" for the billionth time until neal is like "ok peter.... i have a confession to make." peter's expression at this can best be described as !!! "when the isabella stewart gardner museum was robbed in march 1990 i was..." peter is on the Edge Of His Fucking Seat "...five years old. i genuinely am stunned that you really believed that i'm 35. i was born in 1984. i literally did not even meet mozzie until like 6 months before i met YOU."

peter is fucking floored. his life is a lie. he put neal, a fucking baby? in jail? the implications this has for his five other caffrey-spiracy boards are far reaching and beyond what he can try to understand right now. he has been trying to pin the most infamous art crime of the last century on neal for years and his alibi is that he was in kindergarten.

[junetoosoon]

It's 3am and I can't escape the thoughts about Stirling so let's do this (SPOILERS FOR PORTAL: REVOLUTION):

(My sleepy ass can't figure out how to make the "read more," thing appear here so apologies for the potentially unavoidable block of text for anyone not reading)

First and foremost, I adore Stirling so much. He's so fun and silly, the writing for all of his dialogue is so good and William Neal delivers them perfectly. Especially when Stirling stops pretending to be an announcer and speaks more naturally.

I think partly because of how much I loved him I feel mixed on where his character goes towards the end. I think his betrayal happened way too fast to feel right. It's barely a few chambers before that he's genuinely thanking us for the help we've given him, yet the next time we meet him he's decided we're going to betray him?

Using Portal 2 as a comparison point, Wheatley's betrayal also happened quite suddenly, but there was at least reason for that. He got put into GLaDOS' body which fucked up his mental state and made him insanely powerful, the perfect combo for a power trip. Plus Wheatley as a character is clearly insecure. He constantly tries to look smarter than he is, so it makes sense that when he trips on power, he lashes out due to those feelings.

All of those things make it work. Yet with Stirling there's nothing like that. The impression I get of Stirling is just a guy who wants to do his job and clean the facility, and he needs your help to do that. He's dedicated to that job and Aperture over everything else, but he does still come to bond with you over the course of the game. I could see his dedication being a really good way to write in his betrayal, but it isn't, at least not well. He just seemingly decides we're working against him and that's that.

In spite of this though I did love the ending. The dialogue between him and Emilia was so funny, I could've listened to so much more of them. Hell, more of them talking could've helped build up to the betrayal before it happened. I definitely didn't grow as attached to Emilia as I did Stirling, I think partly again because the ending felt quite fast. We don't get much time with her before we're picking her over Stirling and he's evil.

I saw a comment somewhere of someone suggesting we pick between Stirling or Emilia towards the end and I would've loved that. During the game itself I was wishing for that sort of option. I was fully down to help Stirling restore GLaDOS and then be escorted out the facility. Obviously lore wise GLaDOS wouldn't actually be woken up, but I would've picked at least trying to help him any day of the week.

In conclusion: Portal Revolution is an amazing mod, the visuals are great, the gameplay is great, the puzzles are amazing, the voice acting is really good, the dialogue is super funny, and most of the writing in general is really good. It's unfortunately just the ending that feels rushed, which is a shame considering how good it is before that.

Anyway if anyone actually read that mini essay, thank you!! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the game and its characters.

[mccallhero]

okay so i just finished ouat for the first time ever (watched it years ago but stopped in s5b) and i just wanted to ask one question about the finale lmao

(discussions of r*pe, the r*pists on the show, the erasure of graham, and regina's crimes)

first. some context. i absolutely hate what happened to graham's character (being r*ped and then murdered by his r*pist and then the crime never ever ever ever being acknowledged) and it's really really hard for me to like regina's character after that. for the longest time i always told myself it was the writers that didn't actually understand what they were writing, and then once they did, they tried to ignore it and sweep it under the rug because that wasn't their intention for regina's character

for example, with the other two r*pists on the show (there's arguments for a lot more, but these ones are confirmed in the canon), zelena and mother gothel are both treated as villains (regina actually calls zelena out for the r*pe, telling her she 'deceived robin in the most vile way possible,' which is another reason i thought the writers were trying to kinda retcon what regina did to graham once they realized what they had actually written). zelena eventually does get her 'redemption' (kinda. the only person who ever treats her well is regina. we just stop seeing zelena with other characters. the only exceptions really in s7 are wish!killian, robyn, and chad and they all don't know about her true crimes), which is something i hate, but again, zelena and mother gothel (for the majority of their characters) are treated as villains, which is genuinely why i thought for over a decade now that the writers realized they made an oopsie with regina and graham and just ignored it

however. then i watch the season 7 finale

and regina's getting crowned the good queen which. okay. interesting take i guess (love or hate regina's character, she burned down entire villages, who the hell is voting for her???). and then regina, the good queen, supposedly forgiven and redeemed for all her past evil deeds, gets to give a speech. in fact, the last speech that's ever given on ouat, the last words ever spoken on the show is this speech

she starts off by saying: 'i thought my story came to an end a long time ago, and then new people came into my life... people who gave me a second chance. i can't wait to see what's in store for me next. well, for everyone'

and then with this speech, as it continues, there's a lovely little montage to give us a reminder of the journey that was ouat and all of the characters along the way

regina says: 'i refuse to believe there won't be more adventures' and we see the jolly roger, charming on horseback, rumple in the heroes and villains au on horseback (interesting choice), grumpy being hatched, jiminy cricket, pinnochio and gepetto being swallowed by a whale, regina casting the dark curse over snow and charming's dying body (.......), emma freeing merlin from the tree, elsa using magic, ursula and maleficent tussling, monkey!walsh, rumple being bitch slapped by a bear, belle being attacked by fire-doggie!phillip, snow hitting charming with a rock, and cruella's stank breath

these are all, so far, decent choices. some are a little iffy but, for the most part, just moments reminding us of everything that's happened

and then regina says 'more love' and we see outlaw queen, snowing, swan believer, phillip and aurora, rumbelle, henry and violet, cinderella and her guy (shawn?), jasmine and aladdin, snowing again

this one's a little more questionable (just like. where is captain swan? and why is swan believer here when everything else is romantic love? did someone mix it up? idk. not the point but still)

'more family' and we see snowing and baby emma, emma and baby henry, the heroes in s2 walking together, snowing and neal, gepetto and pinnochio, henry smiling, and the last supper ouat version

this one's fine. i think including gepetto and pinnochio there is kinda funny when it could be replaced by any other scene of the actual main family (regina and henry maybe???????????????)

and then. finally. why i am making this textpost

regina says 'and yes, there will be more loss'

and. okay. we see robin dying, robin's funeral, regina at her father's grave, and then ???????????????????????????? for SOME REASON they show GRAHAM DYING????????????????????????????????

and at this point i don't care what else they show because regina's then saying 'because that's just a part of life' and i am just wondering. HOW. after SEVEN SEASON. did ouat think that was a good idea

and it genuinely makes me feel nauseous because yes, he is a forgotten victim, he was controlled and r*ped and murdered and nobody ever found out about it and, in fact, he is rarely ever even remembered (emma wearing his shoelace was such a fucking blessing to know at least ONE PERSON cared about him after he had died. that he at least wasn't forgotten by her) but for YEARS i thought it was just ouat being ouat and trying to ignore their mistakes because addressing them would make regina truly unforgiveable

but then. regina. in her final act of being truly redeemed, switched completely from the evil queen to the good queen, her crimes being forgiven by her victims and everyone electing her to be queen (WERE THERE NO OTHER CANDIDATES?), regina reminds us of the crime that she never ever told anyone about, the crime that she will be taking to her grave, and we see graham dying (because she r*ped and then murdered him)

and it just feels so so so wrong. ESPECIALLY. especially. ESPECIALLY after season seven, where we're forced to watch rogers be taunted by his r*pist, the knowledge of her crime being unknown to him (she taunts wish!killian too when he does know), and that entire plot is sickening and heartbreaking but that's what it's supposed to be. like one of the biggest plots of the season was about a r*pist taunting her victim and destroying his life and making him miserable and being the cause of his death (gothel poisoned wish!killian's heart, regina crushed graham's, wow ouat sure does love their parallels). never once are we expected to be on gothel's side and literally everyone on the show hates her besides characters she is also manipulating (ivy and anastasia). so how are they going to have that be one of the main plots of the season (if not the main plot, considering it's why rumple dies and killian/alice/gothel have the most backstory eps out of any other plotline) and then do this?

how are they going to give regina her redemption and then remind us of graham's death, arguably one of her worst crimes that is kept secret from everyone on the show? she took his heart and then commanded him to her bed chamber and then created a curse where they had a sexual relationship despite graham being miserable every single day and never wanting or feeling anything because oh yeah she stole his heart and controls him. and then she killed him when she couldn't control him any longer

and now she's the good queen, getting her second chance? ('second' chance. okay ouat. sure)

how are they going to forgive regina for her crimes while reminding us, the audience, that nobody even knows about graham?

[queerjesusthelord]

I've been thinking about her

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened: why did they do what they did, was there some logic in it, were we so furious because of the denial, as we were unable to accept the forlorn finale and why did it hurt that much so nobody could recover from it till now.

It’s been two years, guys. Two years of re-reading Luke Jennings books, writing songs and dedicating them to VillanEve, doom scrolling post about them, about all the anger fans still got for Laura Neal and the shitty ending (as Villanelle would say with a sexy Russian accent). 

I was listening to my beloved Unloved soundtrack of course, all this time. I’ve been on their concert in Paris recently and felt euphoric as I was sinking into Eve and Villanelle love story again and again through their divine music. Every word and sound reflected with my whole body and soul – it was ineffable. Every time I listen to “I’ve been thinking about her” it brings me to tears. I genuinely want this song to play at my funeral one day.

Well, I did my best to remain in this state of equanimity and kinda succeed. But a couple of months ago I decided to re-watch KE from season 1 and here is what happened. I happily binge-watched all three seasons and it felt like home – a perfect comfort zone, a way of my escapism. I even discovered a place where they shoot Villanelle’s apartment (here in Paris), I walked there, secretly got into the courtyard – it was AMAZING – visualizing what happened there in the 1st season, remembering their dialogue with Eve – “I think about you all the time” and stuff. It was comme la presence de Villanelle and I felt so happy and inspired there.

Lately I realised that I’ve been struggling, not wanting to re-watch the goddamn last season. Why the fuck it was so hard? I just can skip the last 5 minutes and et voilà – it would be just perfect. Plus dearest Luke Jennings has been writing and posting his new book about Villanelle and Eve (RESURRECTION) since November 2023, so we know that in his book they got their happy ending and their love story goes on, so it’s good news, right? We have something to rely on “more rock than sand” and it sounds so easy…

But frankly it’s not – I couldn’t pretend I did not see it – the ending they’ve made. I didn’t want to be in this denial any more. I was so angry, I didn’t want to go through it again. But I wanted to see the kiss, to feel their love, to embrace this fucking finale as well. The mixed up feelings were bothering me much so I decided to contemplate on them more, to write this down and here’s what I got.

For me this show, the VillanEve story, was very personal. And it started way long before the book. The book was a cure to find my peace AFTER I watched the ending, so I think it is what it is: the show is one thing and the book is another. I cannot pretend they are the same, like “Villanelle’s death was never meant to be in the book so fuck Laura Neal and her interpretation”. It’s fucking painful but I need to admit it – they ruined my favourite show, something I really loved and I feel so miserable I cannot simply rewatch it from time to time (like Twin Peaks for instance) to feel cheerful and happy KNOWING what awaits me in the end. It’s not a comfort zone anymore, it is a pure Hélène style torture. 

I’ve never felt so attached to the heroes before. I mean, I watch a lot of tv shows and movies, and I easily emphathysise to every story I love. But THIS was different. It was a mind-blowing love-journey, irrational, psychotic, driven, crazy, fun, epic, passionate, surreal, iridescent and QUEER. I NEVER felt so seen and understood on the deepest level by just WATCHING the show. VillanEve resonates with my personal life and fantasies and I was glad that I found it. I’m more of a visual person, so it was crucial for me to be able to WATCH it, to see the performance of Sandra and Jodie and their desperate game with unresolved sexual tension where should, no, MUST have been the glorious end game. The happy ending for them and for all of us. Not just us queers, but all the people.

This show was twisted, sexy and fun from the very beginning – thanks to ingenious Phoebe Waller-Bridge. And it should have stayed like that and ended like that. It shouldn’t have to be a torture. It’s not Game of Thrones for christ sake. Besides, the story of The Twelve was screwed up too, and I will explain why.

We have a lot of this political shit in life already. Right parties, fucked up capitalism, like Russian government and its dictature. It’s no fun guys, this is really frightful and disastrous. So I believe we people do need some kind of an inspiration, a hope in the shows we watch – so we can take this hope to our lives and keep it, lean on it. In dark times like this it would be really helpful and right – so they should have caught the The Twelve gang and crush it, end it for good. But they (producers) fucked it all up so it’s quite impossible to be unfucked. 

They ruined the VillanEve AND the fiction fantasy itself. It was the Author and the Twink death at once. Why not choosing an open ending if you had no idea how to end the show? The open final is always a good way, for me it’s all about respecting your audience. Think David Lynch way. Open endings give you a possibility to rewatch the show and come up with new ideas and interpretations. But they screw this one too.

So no, I think will never accept the finale. I will be grieving for a long long time. Until some director or a show runner who loves VillanEve as much as I do, makes a come-back to fix this shit.