#generous benefit package

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Paying consumer debts is basically optional in the United States

The vast majority of America's debt collection targets $500-2,000 credit card debts. It is a filthy business, operated by lawless firms who hire unskilled workers drawn from the same economic background as their targets, who routinely and grotesquely flout the law, but only when it comes to the people with the least ability to pay.

America has fairly robust laws to protect debtors from sleazy debt-collection practices, notably the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA), which has been on the books since 1978. The FDCPA puts strict limits on the conduct of debt collectors, and offers real remedies to debtors when they are abused.

But for FDPCA provisions to be honored, they must be understood. The people who collect these debts are almost entirely untrained. The people they collected the debts from are likewise in the dark. The only specialized expertise debt-collection firms concern themselves with are a series of gotcha tricks and semi-automated legal shenanigans that let them take money they don't deserve from people who can't afford to pay it.

There's no better person to explain this dynamic than Patrick McKenzie, a finance and technology expert whose Bits About Money newsletter is absolutely essential reading. No one breaks down the internal operations of the finance sector like McKenzie. His latest edition, "Credit card debt collection," is a fantastic read:

https://www.bitsaboutmoney.com/archive/the-waste-stream-of-consumer-finance/

McKenzie describes how a debt collector who mistook him for a different PJ McKenzie and tried to shake him down for a couple hundred bucks, and how this launched him into a life as a volunteer advocate for debtors who were less equipped to defend themselves from collectors than he was.

McKenzie's conclusion is that "paying consumer debts is basically optional in the United States." If you stand on your rights (which requires that you know your rights), then you will quickly discover that debt collectors don't have – and can't get – the documentation needed to collect on whatever debts they think you owe (even if you really owe them).

The credit card companies are fully aware of this, and bank (literally) on the fact that "the vast majority of consumers, including those with the socioeconomic wherewithal to walk away from their debts, feel themselves morally bound and pay as agreed."

If you find yourself on the business end of a debt collector's harassment campaign, you can generally make it end simply by "carefully sending a series of letters invoking [your] rights under the FDCPA." The debt collector who receives these letters will have bought your debt at five cents on the dollar, and will simply write it off.

By contrast, the mere act of paying anything marks you out as substantially more likely to pay than nearly everyone else on their hit-list. Paying anything doesn't trigger forbearance, it invites a flood of harassing calls and letters, because you've demonstrated that you can be coerced into paying.

But while learning FDCPA rules isn't overly difficult, it's also beyond the wherewithal of the most distressed debtors (and people falsely accused of being debtors). McKenzie recounts that many of the people he helped were living under chaotic circumstances that put seemingly simple things "like writing letters and counting to 30 days" beyond their needs.

This means that the people best able to defend themselves against illegal shakedowns are less likely to be targeted. Instead, debt collectors husband their resources so they can use them "to do abusive and frequently illegal shakedowns of the people the legislation was meant to benefit."

Here's how this debt market works. If you become delinquent in meeting your credit card payments ("delinquent" has a flexible meaning that varies with each issuer), then your debt will be sold to a collector. It is packaged in part of a large spreadsheet – a CSV file – and likely sold to one of 10 large firms that control 75% of the industry.

The "mom and pops" who have the other quarter of the industry might also get your debt, but it's more likely that they'll buy it as a kind of tailings from one of the big guys, who package up the debts they couldn't collect on and sell them at even deeper discounts.

The people who make the calls are often barely better off than the people they're calling. They're minimally trained and required to work at a breakneck pace. Employee turnover is 75-100% annually: imagine the worst call center job in the world, and then make it worse, and make "success" into a moral injury, and you've got the debt-collector rank-and-file.

To improve the yield on this awful process, debt collection companies start by purging these spreadsheets of likely duds: dead people, people with very low credit-scores, and people who appear on a list of debtors who know their rights and are likely to stand on them (that's right, merely insisting on your rights can ensure that the entire debt-collection industry leaves you alone, forever).

The FDPCA gives you rights: for example, you have the right to verify the debt and see the contract you signed when you took it on. The debt collector who calls you almost certainly does not have that contract and can't get it. Your original lender might, but they stopped caring about your debt the minute they sold it to a debt-collector. Their own IT systems are baling-wire-and-spit Rube Goldberg machines that glue together the wheezing computers of all the companies they've bought over the last 25 years. Retrieving your paperwork is a nontrivial task, and the lender doesn't have any reason to perform it.

Debt collectors are bottom feeders. They are buying delinquent debts at 5 cents on the dollar and hoping to recover 8 percent of them; at 7 percent, they're losing money. They aren't "large, nationally scaled, hypercompetent operators" – they're shoestring operations that can only be viable if they hire unskilled workers and fail to train them.

They are subject to automatic damages for illegal behavior, but they still break the law all the time. As McKenzie writes, a debt collector will "commit three federal torts in a few minutes of talking to a debtor then follow up with a confirmation of the same in writing." A statement like "if you don’t pay me I will sue you and then Immigration will take notice of that and yank your green card" makes the requisite three violations: a false threat of legal action, a false statement of affiliation with a federal agency, and "a false alleged consequence for debt nonpayment not provided for in law."

If you know this, you can likely end the process right there. If you don't, buckle in. The one area that debt collectors invest heavily in is the automation that allows them to engage in high-intensity harassment. They use "predictive dialers" to make multiple calls at once, only connecting the collector to the calls that pick up. They will call you repeatedly. They'll call your family, something they're legally prohibited from doing except to get your contact info, but they'll do it anyway, betting that you'll scrape up $250 to keep them from harassing your mother.

These dialing systems are far better organized than any of the company's record keeping about what you owe. A company may sell your debt on and fail to keep track of it, with the effect that multiple collectors will call you about the same debt, and even paying off one of them will not stop the other.

Talking to these people is a bad idea, because the one area where collectors get sophisticated training is in emptying your bank account. If you consent to a "payment plan," they will use your account and routing info to start whacking your bank account, and your bank will let them do it, because the one part of your conversation they reliably record is this payment plan rigamarole. Sending a check won't help – they'll use the account info on the front of your check to undertake "demand debits" from your account, and backstop it with that recorded call.

Any agreement on your part to get on a payment plan transforms the old, low-value debt you incurred with your credit card into a brand new, high value debt that you owe to the bill collector. There's a good chance they'll sell this debt to another collector and take the lump sum – and then the new collector will commence a fresh round of harassment.

McKenzie says you should never talk to a debt collector. Make them put everything in writing. They are almost certain to lie to you and violate your rights, and a written record will help you prove it later. What's more, debt collection agencies just don't have the capacity or competence to engage in written correspondence. Tell them to put it in writing and there's a good chance they'll just give up and move on, hunting softer targets.

One other thing debt collectors due is robo-sue their targets, bulk-filing boilerplate suits against debtors, real and imaginary. If you don't show up for court (which is what usually happens), they'll get a default judgment, and with it, the legal right to raid your bank account and your paycheck. That, in turn, is an asset that, once again, the debt collector can sell to an even scummier bottom-feeder, pocketing a lump sum.

McKenzie doesn't know what will fix this. But Michael Hudson, a renowned scholar of the debt practices of antiquity, has some ideas. Hudson has written eloquently and persuasively about the longstanding practice of jubilee, in which all debts were periodically wiped clean (say, whenever a new king took the throne, or once per generation):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/24/grandparents-optional-party/#jubilee

Hudson's core maxim is that "debt's that can't be paid won't be paid." The productive economy will have need for credit to secure the inputs to their processes. Farmers need to borrow every year for labor, seed and fertilizer. If all goes according to plan, the producer pays off the lender after the production is done and the goods are sold.

But even the most competent producer will eventually find themselves unable to pay. The best-prepared farmer can't save every harvest from blight, hailstorms or fire. When the producer can't pay the creditor, they go a little deeper into debt. That debt accumulates, getting worse with interest and with each bad beat.

Run this process long enough and the entire productive economy will be captive to lenders, who will be able to direct production for follies and fripperies. Farmers stop producing the food the people need so they can devote their land to ornamental flowers for creditors' tables. Left to themselves, credit markets produce hereditary castes of lenders and debtors, with lenders exercising ever-more power over debtors.

This is socially destabilizing; you can feel it in McKenzie's eloquent, barely controlled rage at the hopeless structural knot that produces the abusive and predatory debt industry. Hudson's claim is that the rulers of antiquity knew this – and that we forgot it. Jubilee was key to producing long term political stability. Take away Jubilee and civilizations collapse:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/08/jubilant/#construire-des-passerelles

Debts that can't be paid won't be paid. Debt collectors know this. It's irrefutable. The point of debt markets isn't to ensure that debts are discharged – it's to ensure that every penny the hereditary debtor class has is transferred to the creditor class, at the hands of their fellow debtors.

In her 2021 Paris Review article "America's Dead Souls," Molly McGhee gives a haunting, wrenching account of the debts her parents incurred and the harassment they endured:

https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2021/05/17/americas-dead-souls/

After I published on it, many readers wrote in disbelief, insisting that the debt collection practices McGhee described were illegal:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/19/zombie-debt/#damnation

And they are illegal. But debt collection is a trade founded on lawlessness, and its core competence is to identify and target people who can't invoke the law in their own defense.

Going to Defcon this weekend? I’m giving a keynote, “An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet’s Enshittification and Throw it Into Reverse,” today (Aug 12) at 12:30pm, followed by a book signing at the No Starch Press booth at 2:30pm!

https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=50826

I’m kickstarting the audiobook for “The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation,” a Big Tech disassembly manual to disenshittify the web and bring back the old, good internet. It’s a DRM-free book, which means Audible won’t carry it, so this crowdfunder is essential. Back now to get the audio, Verso hardcover and ebook:

http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/12/do-not-pay/#fair-debt-collection-practices-act

[nasa]

Athletes Go for the Gold with NASA Spinoffs

NASA technology tends to find its way into the sporting world more often than you’d expect. Fitness is important to the space program because astronauts must undergo the extreme g-forces of getting into space and endure the long-term effects of weightlessness on the human body. The agency’s engineering expertise also means that items like shoes and swimsuits can be improved with NASA know-how.

As the 2024 Olympics are in full swing in Paris, here are some of the many NASA-derived technologies that have helped competitive athletes train for the games and made sure they’re properly equipped to win.

The LZR Racer reduces skin friction drag by covering more skin than traditional swimsuits. Multiple pieces of the water-resistant and extremely lightweight LZR Pulse fabric connect at ultrasonically welded seams and incorporate extremely low-profile zippers to keep viscous drag to a minimum.

Swimsuits That Don’t Drag

When the swimsuit manufacturer Speedo wanted its LZR Racer suit to have as little drag as possible, the company turned to the experts at Langley Research Center to test its materials and design. The end result was that the new suit reduced drag by 24 percent compared to the prior generation of Speedo racing suit and broke 13 world records in 2008. While the original LZR Racer is no longer used in competition due to the advantage it gave wearers, its legacy lives on in derivatives still produced to this day.

Trilion Quality Systems worked with NASA’s Glenn Research Center to adapt existing stereo photogrammetry software to work with high-speed cameras. Now the company sells the package widely, and it is used to analyze stress and strain in everything from knee implants to running shoes and more.

High-Speed Cameras for High-Speed Shoes

After space shuttle Columbia, investigators needed to see how materials reacted during recreation tests with high-speed cameras, which involved working with industry to create a system that could analyze footage filmed at 30,000 frames per second. Engineers at Adidas used this system to analyze the behavior of Olympic marathoners' feet as they hit the ground and adjusted the design of the company’s high-performance footwear based on these observations.

Martial artist Barry French holds an Impax Body Shield while former European middle-weight kickboxing champion Daryl Tyler delivers an explosive jump side kick; the force of the impact is registered precisely and shown on the display panel of the electronic box French is wearing on his belt.

One-Thousandth-of-an-Inch Punch

In the 1980s, Olympic martial artists needed a way to measure the impact of their strikes to improve training for competition. Impulse Technology reached out to Glenn Research Center to create the Impax sensor, an ultra-thin film sensor which creates a small amount of voltage when struck. The more force applied, the more voltage it generates, enabling a computerized display to show how powerful a punch or kick was.

Astronaut Sunita Williams poses while using the Interim Resistive Exercise Device on the ISS. The cylinders at the base of each side house the SpiraFlex FlexPacks that inventor Paul Francis honed under NASA contracts. They would go on to power the Bowflex Revolution and other commercial exercise equipment.

Weight Training Without the Weight

Astronauts spending long periods of time in space needed a way to maintain muscle mass without the effect of gravity, but lifting free weights doesn’t work when you’re practically weightless. An exercise machine that uses elastic resistance to provide the same benefits as weightlifting went to the space station in the year 2000. That resistance technology was commercialized into the Bowflex Revolution home exercise equipment shortly afterwards.

Want to learn more about technologies made for space and used on Earth? Check out NASA Spinoff to find products and services that wouldn’t exist without space exploration.   

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[gaylienz]

The 7 R’s of Sustainability:

Did you know that ‘recycling’ is step 6 of the 7 Rs of sustainability? The other R’s are just as important even if they are often forgotten.

Rethink- Do I really need to buy this? The point of this step is to stop and think.

Refuse- Does this product damage the environment? If so, refuse to spend your money on it. i.e. single use plastics, harsh chemicals

Reduce- How much of this do I really need? Buy less! Buy in bulk when you can as it often equals less packaging to throw out.

Reuse- Can I use this product again? Can I fix what I have so that I don’t need to buy something new? Reuse that plastic water bottle a few times. And instead of buying new, try thrift shopping, flea markets, yard sales etc.

Repurpose- Unlimited creativity! Does this item have another use? i.e. old torn clothes can be rags or plastic cups can be planters.

Recycle- Can I recycle this? Not everything can be. There are also some important steps to making sure your recycling is done properly. If unsure, look up local recycling regulations.

Rot- Can I compost this? Food waste, yard clippings, newspapers and many other items can be composted instead of being tossed in the trash. Composting is surprisingly simple and helps reduce harmful greenhouse gasses from entering the atmosphere.

What is the point of the R’s? The number one benefit of the 7 R’s are the reduction of the amount of waste sent to incinerators and landfills. The EPA website provides a lot of useful information. Other benefits that we can reap from implementing these concepts in our life are (as listed on the EPA website): • Prevents pollution caused by reducing the need to harvest new raw materials • Saves energy from not making a new product • Reduces greenhouse gas emissions that contribute to climate change • Helps sustain the environment and natural resources for future generations • Saves money from processing our waste • Increases economic security by tapping a domestic source of materials • Helps create jobs in the recycling and manufacturing industries in the United States

https://www.northglenn.org/government/departments/public_works/trash/recycling.php https://www.nrdc.org/stories/composting-101 https://www.epa.gov/recycle https://www.northglenn.org/Recycling%20Article.pdf

[clinicse]

DCİDENTALCLİNİC - DEVASA+ (3)

Are you considering enhancing your smile and wondering about the costs involved? If so, you’re not alone. Turkey has emerged as a popular destination for dental procedures, particularly for implants and veneers, thanks to its affordable prices and high-quality care. In this post, we'll explore the pricing of dental implants in Turkey, providing insights into what factors influence these costs. Additionally, we will dive into the world of dental veneers and crowns available in Antalya, showcasing their benefits and how they contribute to an overall radiant smile. 

İmplant turkey price

When considering dental implants, one of the most crucial factors that patients assess is the cost. İmplant turkey price are generally more affordable compared to many Western countries, making it a popular destination for those seeking dental treatments. The average implant turkey price can range from $300 to $800 per implant, depending on various factors such as the clinic's location, the expertise of the dentist, and the quality of materials used.

Another important aspect to consider is the all-inclusive packages offered by many dental clinics in Turkey. These packages often cover the entire treatment process, including pre-operative consultations, post-operative care, and sometimes even accommodations. This makes the overall dental experience not only economical but also convenient for international patients traveling for treatment.

It’s essential to conduct thorough research before selecting a clinic. Reading patient reviews, verifying the credentials of the dentist, and understanding what the quoted implant turkey price includes can help ensure a successful and satisfying dental procedure. With the right information at hand, patients can make informed decisions regarding their dental implants and en

Dental veneers antalya

When considering dental veneers Antalya, it's essential to understand both the aesthetic and functional benefits they offer. These thin shells of porcelain or composite resin are designed to cover the front surface of teeth, providing an enhanced appearance. Patients often choose veneers for their ability to correct issues such as discoloration, minor misalignments, and gaps, significantly improving their smiles.

The cost of dental veneers in Antalya can vary depending on several factors, including the type of material used and the complexity of the case. Generally, the prices are more affordable compared to many Western countries, making Antalya a popular destination for those seeking cosmetic dental treatments. Additionally, many dental clinics offer packages that include consultations and follow-up care.

For anyone considering dental veneers, it’s best to consult with a qualified dentist who specializes in cosmetic dentistry. They will provide patients with an understanding of the procedure, the expected results, and any potential risks. With the right guidance, achieving a perfect smile with dental veneers in Antalya can be a rewarding experience.

Dental veneers turkey

When it comes to achieving a perfect smile, dental veneers offer a transformative solution. In Turkey, the rise of cosmetic dentistry has made it an attractive destination for those seeking affordable and high-quality dental care. The process of applying veneers involves the placement of thin porcelain shells over the front of the teeth, which can enhance their appearance and address various aesthetic concerns.

What makes Turkey a popular choice for dental veneers Turkey is not just the competitive pricing but also the high standards of dental practice. Many Turkish dental clinics have state-of-the-art technology and experienced professionals who specialize in cosmetic procedures. This combination allows patients to receive top-notch care while enjoying significant cost savings compared to procedures in other countries.

Patients from around the world visit Turkey for dental veneers due to the country's reputation for excellent service and patient satisfaction. With personalized treatment plans and a focus on aesthetics, Turkish dentists help individuals achieve their desired smile. Whether addressing discoloration, gaps, or misalignment, veneers in Turkey can provide a stunning and natural-looking outcome.

Dental crowns antalya

When it comes to enhancing your smile, dental crowns are a popular choice among patients seeking both aesthetic and functional improvements. In Antalya, the demand for quality dental services has surged, particularly for procedures like dental crowns. These crowns are custom-made caps that cover damaged or weakened teeth, providing strength and support while also improving overall appearance.

The benefits of choosing dental crowns Antalya are numerous. Not only are they crafted from high-quality materials, but the cost is also significantly lower compared to many Western countries. This means you can achieve a beautiful and healthy smile without breaking the bank. The combination of skilled dental professionals and modern technology ensures a high success rate and patient satisfaction.

Moreover, many clinics in Antalya offer comprehensive packages that include consultations, x-rays, and post-treatment care, making the entire process seamless.

[lexirosewrites]

What about omega prison guard Steve and alpha prisoner Eddie Munson.

Steve should sue that prison for workplace endangerment and I’m so sorry for how late this is. I have others still in my inbox too that I will get to eventually!

That being said... alpha prisoner Eddie flirting with nervous prison guard Steve!!! Steve who's been told to be wary of inmates trying to intimidate him with threats, but he was never warned that he'd fall in love with the charming weirdo in Block D who's always telling him how pretty he is.

At first, Steve assumes that inmate Munson is trying to get extra time in the yard or a better work assignment, but he never does. He greets Steve like a friend, asks how his dog is, and even makes sure that other prisoners don't mess with him despite being an omega working in an alpha prison.

It feels too good to be true, but five days a week, Steve clocks in and instantly finds himself drawn to Block D. Even if it's not his assignment for the day, he makes a point to say good morning to Eddie. Sometimes he does sneak him an extra granola bar from commissary if he's feeling generous, even though Eddie would never ask.

"Morning, officer beautiful."

Steve laughs at that, sticking his hand in his pocket to quickly find the pack of gum security had allowed him to bring inside. Not necessarily following protocol, but he figures that it's innocent enough.

"Good morning, Munson," he greets.

Eddie gets off his cot and comes over to the bars of his cell, his smile widening when he catches sight of the bright pink package of gum in Steve's outstretched hand.

He has to be subtle about the special treatment, but Eddie’s good about that, accepting the present and pocketing it quickly.

"Surely you can come up with a better petname than that, baby? You've had damn near a whole year to pick one for me,” Eddie teases in a whisper.

Steve brushes it off with a laugh, putting a little more space between them.

Having a soft spot for a handsome prisoner wouldn’t look good to the other inmates or his fellow correctional officers. Everyone already thinks he’s not fit for this job and he can’t afford to lose it. It’s the best paying job he’s ever had and the benefits are great.

“Alright, Munson. Mind your manners.. What’s on the agenda for Block D? Are you running your little club this morning?”

The alpha typically leads some weird club for the prisoners on good behavior. Steve has never understood their funny game, but he always volunteers to oversee it.

Eddie smirks, throwing him a wink as he returns to his bunk and picks up a full box to show Steve.

“Big plans for today, actually.”

He chuckles at that.

There are no big plans in prison. Every day is more or less the same. Eddie either has a work assignment or his club. Sometimes he attends a special workshop or class for some college credit, but it’s not exactly the Ritz-Carlton.

“Sure, Munson. Whatever you say,” Steve says, rolling his eyes.

Eddie pouts.

“Don’t you want to know why all my stuff is packed up? You aren’t the least bit curious?”

Huh?

He looks around the cell, suddenly noticing how bare the walls are— devoid of Eddie’s monstrous drawings and plans for his game. In fact, his bed has been completely stripped and none of his books are lying around the place anymore.

“Eddie? What— what’s happening here?” Steve questions frantically, his heart racing now at the idea of his favorite prisoner being transferred elsewhere.

He’s had good behavior lately, but maybe he got caught in a fight on Steve’s weekend off?

Eddie can’t leave. He’s unintentionally become Steve’s best friend here and honestly, he’ll really miss the guy. Even the extra attention and flirting too!

The alpha drops his box and comes all the way to the bars, close enough that he can reach a hand through and take Steve’s. He squeezes it gently, settling Steve’s panic a little with his calming scent now.

“Hey now, baby. I thought you’d be happy for me? Are you really that upset that I’m getting out finally?”

Getting… out? Holy shit. Eddie is leaving prison. For good.

“You— your time is up?”

Eddie leans down, glancing around to make sure nobody sees him press a kiss to the omega’s knuckles.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I told you I was gonna be on my best behavior for the parole board. How else was I gonna take you on that date I promised?”

Everything he says always sounds confident and a little cocky, but for once, Eddie seems vulnerable and sincere.

He actually wants to take Steve on a date.

Steve shakes his head, but doesn’t pull his hand away from Eddie.

“You didn’t really mean that,” he protests. “I know you were just messing around or whatever, Eddie.”

“Oh, so now you know my name?” the alpha teases.

Steve rolls his eyes, wanting a real answer.

“Munson…”

Eddie grins.

“Alright, alright. No need for all of that, honey. I just thought I’d give you a heads-up in case you wanted me to leave you alone when I get out. I didn’t really expect you to let an ex-con take you out, but it gave me something to aim for and I wanted to thank you nonetheless for being such a good friend, even if you don’t want to see me outside of here.”

Steve hesitates for a moment.

Of course he didn’t realize that Eddie was getting free any time soon when the alpha joked about taking him out and “showing him a good time.”

But does that really change anything?

If Eddie wasn’t an inmate, would Steve be interested in him? The answer seems clear, but he’d never had to think it through before now.

He clears his throat, giving Eddie a smile as he comes to a conclusion.

“I think… I think you could thank me with dinner, Munson. I’m assuming you have a place to stay already? Do you have a number I can call too?”

Eddie grins like a kid in a candy store and runs to grab a piece of paper out of the box, writing on it frantically before shoving it into Steve’s open hand.

“I’m staying with my Uncle Wayne. He got me a position at his garage since I got all my certs here. My first paycheck is all yours, Steve. You find the fanciest restaurant in town and I’ll book the table, sweetheart,” Eddie promises. “You won’t regret this.”

He blushes at the intense stare from the alpha, feeling surprisingly eager for him to follow through with this.

“I’m going to hold you to that, Eddie. Don’t keep me waiting too long.”

Steve loses his favorite inmate that day, but ends up with a different kind of mate a few months later.

[lavandulawrites]

Sumeru’s Damsel In Distress

Yandere Alhaitham, yandere Cyno, yandere Kaveh, yandere Tighnari x female reader (not separate)

Part 2

I was wishing for Sethos and managed to get c3 Alhaitham (he was c0). When I played Cyno’s story quest earlier today I got the idea for this fic. (Let me know if anyone wanna be apart of my taglist).

Synopsis: You are invited to Alhaitham and Kaveh’s house among with your two friends, to taste their new tea.

Masterlist

Warnings: drugging, imprisonment

Word count: 1974

Kaveh had been stirring the tea for 5 minutes straight. The cup was in a beautiful dark green design with little flowers. The tea spoon was engraved with flower details and must have cost a small fortune. You were sitting on the divan to the left of Kaveh. He had prepared some tea for the five of you and brought it out in the little salon in his and Alhaitham’s house. The tea set was beautiful and luxurious, a good fit for Kaveh’s exquisite tastes. Tighnari and Cyno was sitting opposite of you and Alhaitham to your left.

The window behind you were open and the curtains fluttered in the warm summer wind. The flowers on the windowsill colourful and clearly thriving in the heat. The garden behind the house well attended and beautiful.

You fiddled with your bracelet. Your gaze flickered up and your eyes met orange ones. The general mahamattra’s eyes were watchful. His white brows furrowed slightly.

Tighnari eyed Kaveh’s stirring intensely.

The blond smiled. “I saw your new book in the bookstore today. I must say the design you chose is absolutely stunning” his voice eager. “I started reading it, but unfortunately I haven’t had the time to finish it yet” he laughed sheepishly. The spoon in his hand still stirring in an almost robotic manner.

The dark haired fox stilled Kaveh’s hand and muttered something between his sharp teeth. The architect nodded slightly and stilled his movement.

“Your novel is definitely one of the best I have read. Your sight on humanity and morals are really interesting as well as your storytelling. I am impressed” Alhaitham drew your attention away from the forest ranger and the architect. His lips twisted up into a small smile.

Kaveh sat your teacup in front off you and smiled. “The instructions on the package said to stir it good, so sorry for the wait” he laughed awkwardly.

“It’s okay” you shook your head.

Kaveh poured the steaming hot tea into four cups for each of the men. He stirred them, but not as long as he had with yours. When you were about to open your mouth, Tighnari chimed in “When you stir it extra long, the taste is milder. We know how you prefer your tea mild”.

You picked up the teacup. It was hot, but not too hot. The aroma slightly sweet. You caught your reflection in the dark surface. A sudden bad feeling crept through your veins and your hand stilled.

Noticing your hesitation, Alhaitham spoke up. “Are you alright?” his voice concerned.

“Yeah, I just got lost in thought…” you smiled slightly. With a slightly trembling hand you brought the cup to your lips. You didn’t know why you had such a bad feeling. You wanted to brush it off, but something told you to trust your instincts.

Tighnari cleared his throat. “This blend has great health benefits so I would advise you to drink it” despite his soft voice, you could make out the sternness hidden beneath it.

A weak “Yeah” escaped your lips.

You wrapped your lips carefully around the rim and swallowed. The tea was slightly sweet and a little bitter, but overall pleasant. You swallowed and lowered the cup.

As your gaze went between the four men before you, you noticed the hint of relief in their expressions. Kaveh grinned beside you and lifted his cup. “Let’s toast to [Name]’s newest book!”

The five off you brought your cups over the table and clinked them against each others. You did not miss how they exchanged glances. Their eyes swirling with a deep emotion you couldn’t quite place. It sent shivers down your spine and you gulped. Alhaitham’s ever so observant eyes didn’t miss the shift in your manner.

Time blended together as you talked about all and nothing. Your uneasiness had long passed and the house was filled with laughter. As time went on you felt slightly drowsy and you casted a glance over at the clock on the wall. It was time for you to head home.

You cleared throat “I think it’s time for me to head home. Thanks for having me, Alhaitham and Kaveh. I have had so much fun”. You smiled and was about to stand up when Kaveh placed a hand on your shoulder, making you sit down again. “Wait a moment. I will bring you some food to go. We didn’t eat it all so there’s plenty left!” his smile didn’t reach his eyes which were wide and frantic. As he made his way to the kitchen he bumped into different things and almost tilted Cyno’s glass over. Alhaitham eyed the blond with an unreadable expression.

“Are you tired, [Name]?” Cyno’s voice soft. He reached his hand over the table and gently grasped yours. The skin on his fingertips rough after many years of wielding his spear. On the back of your hand his long finger drew circles in a soothing manner.

“I am, that’s why I should head home” your eyelids slightly heavy as you blinked.

The hazel eyed man sighed softly “Why don’t you rest your eyes?”.

Your eyes flickered up to met the fox’s predatory eyes. His expression soft and yearning. A expression one reserved towards their lover.

“I really should… go… home…” your speech became slurred as you struggled to keep your eyes open.

Kaveh entered the room and paused in the opening. Why was his hands empty? Didn’t he say he would bring you some food you could take with you home?

“It finally took affect. I really started to stress out” the blond sighed out in relief.

“I told you I would time it correctly, didn’t I?” Tighnari answered him.

What were they talking about? You leaned back against the backrest, your head heavy and feeling like it was filled with cotton. Your mind drifting. Voices broke through your sleepy state.

“Is she fully out now?”

“Not yet. I would give it a few more minutes.”

“I have already sent her editor a letter in case she wonders where she has gone.”

“It is almost frightening how naive she is… We really did the right thing.”

Strong arms snaked underneath you and cradled you against his chest. A deep voice sounded in your ear “We will take good care of you. No one will hurt you now”.

When you opened your eyes, you were met with a unfamiliar ceiling. Daylight swept through the curtains and lit up the room. Your head was hammering and your body felt numb. You scanned the room as a attempt to understand where you were. The room was decorated with flowers and delicate trinkets. It was decorated exactly as you would decorate it…

You removed the sheets and sat upright. The covers were soft and a pale pink colour. You didn’t wear the clothes you wore last night, but a rose pink nightdress. The fabric was silky and beautiful. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed. You carefully sat down one foot, then the other and slowly rose. You were wobbly and slightly off balance, but you managed to make your way over to the door that seem to lead outside the bedroom.

You slowly opened the door and peered out into the hallway. The interior was the same as that of Alhaitham and Kaveh’s house. Weird. You stopped in your tracks as you tried to recall the night before. None of you had engaged in alcohol. In fact the only beverages you drank were tea and water.

You walked down the hallway as you studied your surroundings. You had been to the scribe’s house before, but you had never been to that part of the house. You stopped before two green tainted glass doors. You could hear the faint sound of voices. Even though you did not hear what they said, you recognised them. It was the voices of your four trusted friends.

You opened the door quietly and entered the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked bread made your stomach slightly growl. The fennec fox had his gaze fixed on you as you entered the kitchen. He had without doubt heard you the moment you stood up from you bed.

At the sound of your stomach, the white haired man turned his head to face you. “You are finally awake. Kaveh already baked some bread. We thought you would be quiet hungry when you woke up” his expression soft and on his mouth was a gentle smile.

You blinked. The kitchen table was set to five. Alhaitam stood by the coffee grinder. His green orange gaze set on you. Kaveh stormed towards you and took your hands in his. “I hope you are hungry! There’s plenty off food, so eat as much as you want!”

You tried to wry your hands out of his grasp, but it proved to be an impossible task. He was really strong, not surprising when he wielded a claymore. “Why am I here?” your question snapped Kaveh out of his cheerfulness. “What happened? What the fuck did you do?” your eyes were wide in terror as you stepped back.

The blond tightened his hold on your small hands. His expression was dark. “We did this to protect you” his answer curt.

The grey haired scribe stepped in and placed a hand on his senior’s shoulder. Kaveh hesitated before he released your hands.

You quickly stepped back. The wall hit you back, making you slightly lose balance. You were trapped. Tears welled up in your eyes. Why didn’t they tell you that this was only a misunderstanding?

“You are going to stay here. This is your new home. Forget about the outside world. It will only do you harm” Alhaitam’s stern voice snapping you out of your tears.

“Yeah, me and Cyno will stay here when our schedules allows us. This is truly for the best” Tighnari smiled. “Why don’t you get something to eat, hmm? You will feel better when you have some food in your stomach” he pulled out a chair for you to sit. “I will get you some medicine too. I can imagine that you have quite the headache now”.

Cyno placed his hand firmly on your lower back and guided you to the table. He looked at you sternly and you sat down. Tighnari gave you some medicine which tasted bitter.

“I still don’t understand…”

“Why did you kidnap me?” you looked up at the four men with a sacred expression.

“It’s not technically kidnapping as you already were in their house…” Cyno remarked.

“Shut it Cyno” Tighnari snapped. “Be a little but more mindful. Her fear is a natural response”.

Cyno held his hands up in a defensive way and muttered a “sorry”.

“We have noticed that you often find yourself in dangerous situations and we think that staying here, is for the best” Kaveh had kneeled down besides you. His hand gently holding yours. “We know all too well how cruel humans can be and we wish to protect you. You are too precious after all, darling” his red eyes laced with obsession mixed with a love deeper than any well.

You swallowed thickly. The situation you found yourself in really started to dawn on you. You were absolutely helpless. There were no chance in hell that you would escape the clutches of the unforgiving general, the intelligent scribe, the passionate architect and the cunning forest ranger. You were truly doomed.

“It seems you finally realise your place. Good” the scribe patted you gently on your head. “Just you wait, it won’t take long before you realise this is where you belong”.

Soft lips met your cheek as you started off into the distance. As the grey haired man lips made contact with your skin, you knew your fate was sealed.

[blogborsa]

CREVH - GOLD

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[rotzaprachim]

the funniest possible thing obviously is jyn and cinta staring from across the space!hilton bar at That Couple whom they can both Never Have and Pining Away and deciding to do something about it all to deal with the frustration. which ends up with cinta and jyn in a not particularly romantic but very emotionally attached (even if they will never admit it) sexual relationship and vel and cassian involved in a very awkward shape of polycule that is in rebellion terms common-law married for real

what no one has done nearly enough with is vel and cassian (or more likely, joreth sward or someone) having a lavender marriage for the Rebellion. vel needs a more convenient Cover for not being a nice heterosexually married Chandrilan Lady and the rebellion needs to sink another long term sleeper agent into the Chandrilan elite to pass money and information around. Vel and Cassian think they're going to kill each other in the first week or be immediately found out but the thing is that because they have a shared purpose and don't actively hate each other's guts they can grit their teeth and Bear It for the rebellion and in comparison to the *rest* of *real* Chandrilan couples this is an absolute dream relationship, so everyone's after Vel for marriage advice

enter jyn and cinta. for maximum drama

[kitasgloves]

— ♬ NSFW

Having intense thoughts about fem! FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY, or rather FYODORA DOSTOEVSKAYA. Now, Fyodora is perceived as a maneater because of her reputation for manipulating men for her benefit. She easily captures the hearts of any man who comes across her, and then she'll leave a trail of broken hearts after. With her long raven hair, snow-like complexion, and especially her hypnotizing and alluring dark eyes, it was impossible not to gaze at her mysterious beauty. Paired with that is her unusual intelligence, she seems untouchable. Nobody has ever succeeded in tricking her or gaining her interest. Well...that was before you came into the picture.

Your entrance into Fyodora's life seemed to have answered the question of her 'dislike' for men. In her perspective, she views men as nothing but selfish and gullible creatures. So, you, a fellow woman, seemed like a refreshing breath of air. She kept to herself, but things began to slowly change after you applied for the job as her assistant.

Fyodora was gentle with you, surprisingly. She doesn't treat you with any coldness she usually does with everybody else. And you were naturally welcoming, so she took it as a sign to invite herself into your life. You were stuck by her side almost every hour. You'd serve her favorite tea whenever she's too occupied in her office. You're tasked with cleaning her workplace and constantly playing her favorite classical music. You'd often run errands for her like delivering or fetching packages, sending letters, etc. And when Fyodora feels extra generous (which was considered rare), she'll take you with her to dinner or for drinks.

You took a liking to your boss since she was considerate of you, unaware of her reputation of being a coldhearted woman. You can't help but admire Fyodora from time to time, you were attracted by her beauty. Lately, she has been inviting you to share tea with her and chat. Because of it, you've learned a fair amount about her interests. During the holidays, she would celebrate with you by inviting you to a feast with her alone. On your birthday, she gifted you your favorite book. You were blushing at the idea that Fyodora probably loved spoiling you.

And the woman did. She finds you the most entertaining and captivating compared to her previous male companions. It may be the fact that you're both women, but Fyodora knew it was something more. Your insatiable innocence, your inviting personality, the smell of your cheap perfume, and that wonderous smile on your face, lingered in her mind on a daily.

Women being attracted to women wasn't unheard of, but Fyodora being allured by a woman seems baffling. She would've preferred it if the roles were reversed, alas, it seemed like you have her wrapped around your finger.

Fyodora was sharing her afternoon tea with you, she enjoyed the solace she discovered with you. While you blabbered about your day, she can't help but let her eyes wander to your mouth. You have that soft shade of lipstick on that makes your lips look so plump that it makes her involuntary gulp. Fyodora sighs and settles her teacup down, almost shakily.

"[Name]"

"Yes, Fedya?"

"Come here"

She gestured for you to come near before patting her lap. You raised your brows and carefully put your teacup down. You reluctantly walked over and awkwardly sat on her lap. Fyodora was a tall woman, taller than average and it made you feel small. She runs a soft hand on your face, brushing away the stray hair and fixing your hair. There was a blissful smile on her features.

"You know I view you more than a subordinate, right?"

"You see me as a friend of yours?"

"Hmm, possibly more than that, dearest"

Fyodora whispers wistfully and leans closer. You immediately stopped her by placing your hands against her chest softly. She looks at you with a frown and notices the glimmering jewelry around your finger; an engagement ring. Right, you were talking about your recent engagement earlier with a wealthy man. However, this doesn't stop her from snaking her arms around your waist and pulling you close.

"Why are you flustered? This is merely platonic affection, [Name]"

Your face felt warm with how intimate Fyodora was holding you on her lap. Gently, she buries her face against the crook of your neck and greedily inhales your scent. The thought of you being taken away from her by a man fills her with contempt. She wanted you all to herself and she won't let a man of all creatures get between you and her. Suddenly, she turns to you.

"Would you do me a favor, darling?"

"Of course, what is it, Fedya?"

"Go lie on the couch over there"

And that's how you ended up with your skirt flipped up and your panties discarded while Fyodora ate you out on the couch. The pleasure of her tongue swirling around your clit and even sucking on it made your thighs shudder and your eyes roll back. Fyodora felt intoxicated with how you trapped her head between your thighs and how fucking delicious you tasted. She kept slurping up all your juices, but you kept overflowing to the point it started dripping down to her chin and even staining the couch.

You have came a couple of times by her eating you out but it seemed endless. You kept arching your back and curling your toes with how Fyodora was stealing orgasm after orgasm out of you.

"Fe—Fedya! I can't—ungh—no more, please—!"

"Oh dearest, I know you can handle one more for me"

Fyodora smiles up at you with her dark eyes and glistening mouth, her red lipstick is smudged in a debauched way. Her sharp fingernails were leaving marks on your thighs. You shook your head tiredly as you weakly pushed her head away from your pussy, she chuckles. Her eyes landed on the engagement ring on your finger, to think she had already ruined you before your future husband could fill her with pride.

"I doubt your future husband can make you feel as good as this"

She dives her face again into your cunt making you squeal as she licked a fat stripe.

"Fe—Fedya, th—this feels so wrong—"

"Only I could ever love you better than any man you'll ever meet, [Name]"

"But—nghh fuck!"

"Come on, do the thing. Yes, darling, take off your engagement ring"

With a hazy mind, you discarded your engagement ring on the nearest table. A victorious sensation swallows Fyodora as she eagerly goes to give you a tender kiss on the lips before returning to your pussy. You returned very late at home after being endlessly pleasured by her.

Fyodora smirked to herself as she busied herself with the papers on her desk. Her eyes trailed to your naked ring finger where your engagement ring used to rest in. She knew you'd fall for her and call off the engagement. She wouldn't dare let any man claim you for she felt the worthiest of you. Only she would love you, eternally.

god I really love closeted lesbian Fyofyo

[blorger]

Hello and welcome to today's instalment of "Harry doesn't know what he's feeling when he's feeling it". I'm in the middle of going through the books (for nerd reasons) and I stumbled upon this passage:

And the thing is: this happens in book 1, right at the beginning of the school year. Not only have Draco and Harry interacted very little so far but the inciting incident that made Harry react this way is peculiar.

You see, Harry here is thinking back on his first ever potions lesson, where Snape tried to humiliate him at every turn. In that scene Draco does not interact with Harry, all he does is be a gleeful spectator to the dressing down and also make potions. Literally.

Draco mentions in the scene:

The slytherin boys (or at the very least the ones Harry knows so far) are amused by Snape's roasting of Harry

2. second verse, same as the first

3. Draco is good at potions, this irritates Harry

That's literally everything. All Draco is guilty of here is being present for Harry's humiliation and being competent at something Harry is trying for the first time. Yes, he's laughing at Harry's misfortune but this is not described as a performance for his benefit (unlike in later books where Draco will make sure Harry sees him laughing at his misfortune). Harry sees Draco's reaction (and Crabbe and Goyle's) but are they the only ones laughing or are they the only ones Harry is paying attention to? Harry explicitly says, in the second passage I mentioned, that he tries not looking at Draco+ Crabbe&Goyle; this to me implies that he's especially conscious of them and their reaction.

As I remarked here about their very first interaction, Harry's feelings towards Draco are, from the get-go, more complicated and nebulous than one might think. If I had to name what sentiments Draco inspires in Harry in these first interactions, I'd say a non insignificant one is inadequacy.

We can see that during the first potions lesson, and again at the thought of a shared flying lesson, Harry very much dislikes the thought of being seen failing by Draco . Why, on Harry's very first night at Hogwarts he has a nightmare and you know who's featured prominently in it, witnessing Harry in an embarrassing situation and laughing about it? None other than Draco Lucius Malfoy.

I find this interesting because Harry claims his feelings towards Draco are similar to what he feels towards Dudley (at this point in the narrative he's remarked on it more than once) but Dudley's actions towards Harry are intentional (pre-Hogwarts dudders loves bullying Harry) whereas Draco has yet to do anything to Harry other than try really badly to befriend him (and be stung by his rejection).

Furthermore Harry, from what we see from his interactions with Dudley, does not seem to be at all self conscious of the way he behaves in front of his cousin nor does he measure his achievements by comparing them with Dudley's. I'd say his general attitude toward Dudley is dismissive, in complete contrast with the competitiveness he feels with Draco yet, somehow, Harry keeps associating the two in his mind.

There's this element of self-fulfilling prophecy in Harry and Draco's interactions (no doubt because jkr is telling us to dislike Draco before showing us why) that I never noticed before. Harry dislikes Draco at first sight (more accurately, he's unsettled by him and decide this means he dislikes him) so he's going to look for other things to dislike in order to reinforce his bias:

Draco receives packages from home? Wow, he's spoiled just like Dudley, nevermind the fact that countless other students are undoubtedly receiving just as many packages.

Draco is a competent beginner potions student? Oh wow, it's just like that git to succeed in a class taught by another git (essentially: if you're favoured by a bad person that means you're bad too)

And because these reactions don't happen in a vacuum, Draco notices them, which fuels HIS complicated emotions vis-à-vis Harry. Add all of this to the feelings of rejection he has no doubt been stewing on and voilà, you have the birth of Draco's decision to be Harry's enemy (since he can't be his friend).

tldr: Harry indadvertedly started the rivalry with Draco and Draco followed suit because negative attention is still attention.

[auckie]

You are not allowed to ask question for supplemental information on either organization

However, you may know these following facts:

The poop mines are dark and cold. You will be assigned a helmet, pickaxe, canary, tin lunch pail and matching thermos. Outside of the mines are a quarry and a toxic dumping sight where tapped veins are spilled into a reservoir, and waste is funneled from the mining operation. You risk tunnel collapse, methane poisoning, and work at night because the day time sun heats the product up and causes noxious fumes. The poop is hard and can be put into a mine cart. You do not know where it is coming from or what it is for. There is dust. There is also a union, but the poop mining operation is run by a company, complete with union busting attempts, scrip, but a very healthy benefit package.

The pee distillery is operated during daylight hours only. It is hot and you must wear a respirator, rubber gloves, boots, and apron. Oftentimes goggles are necessary too. There is no union, but you are on a salary with a less generous benefit package. If you ask about the distilled pee you will be reprimanded up to three times before being terminated with extreme prejudice.

[threepandas]

Like A Dangerous Cat: Yandere!Aizawa

See, here's the thing. (And don't get me wrong, to each their own.) I come across Yandere!Aizawa fics time and again, that forget his crucial truth. This man? THIS man... is fuckin EXHAUSTED.

No sexy body or "ooooh~ IMPRISON ME sempai~♡" energy is gonna motivate him enough to get out of his damn sleeping bag. No today, not tomorrow. Not EVER. He's best friends with Nemuri, for god's sake. He's seen finer tits for far less effort.

And HURTING you? Why would he do THAT? You got something to confess? He has more then a few cops on speed dial. He WILL if he must... but for your sake. Do Not Make Him Do That.

It's his napping time.

He gets that so, SO fucking rarely.

But! Does this mean he can not become a Yandere? Are we cursed to a hot hobo-daddy-less Yandere-free world?

The FUCK it does!

He has SO much love to give. And is that not the CORE of the Yandere? The love? The OBSESSION. Hey, real quick, how much of his personality has he completely reshaped around the hole Oboro left in his life? How far do you think he would GO for Mic? What do you think he would DO?

The thing is? He's not the sort of Yandere that would ever hurt or humiliate his Darling. Oh no, he'd sooner die. Take you all with him. No...

No he's a HERO.

He's gonna PROTECT them. Make them HAPPY. Bask in the light of it, like a cat on a sunbeam. And? HOW he protects them? What he needs to DO, to make sure everything is SAFE? That their dreams come true and their path is full of nothing but rose petal n light? Well... they don't need to know about THAT do they?

That's his JOB, isn't it?

To be a HERO. To PROTECT. Keep watch, just in case.

And? He is the sort of Yandere you'll NEVER notice. Others will. They'll never get the chance to WARN you, but they'll notice. Or, they'll already be so wrapped up in his madness, that it all feels normal.

You'll just... start finding your life easier, all of a sudden. Little things will start going your way. Then bigger and bigger. That creep who kept cat calling you? Finally stopped! The rumored pervert around the neighborhood? Caught! Oh! Look! You didn't even KNOW about this sale!

Wonder how the ad even GOT to you...

Still, you'll brush it off. Pet some cats. Wonder why all the guys who used to hit on you STOPPED. Figure they were messing with you. Oh, hey! Promotion! You buy nicer coffee for the weird hobo looking Hero that uses your balcony as a patrol rest stop.

You DID offer.

Even set up a lil coffee maker out there. Electric kettle. A lockable snack box n stuff. You figured he wouldn't trust food left to the open air. It's suspicious, right? He knocked on your sliding door and asked about it. You guys had a conversation and everything. Was pretty cool.

And? Slowly? He'll pull you in. Vague thank you notes becoming polite but generic "how are you"s. Which of course meanders in to questions about things you mention. Longer responses from you. More and more notes. Until? Oh, he just HAPPENS to be early today...

Slowly, carefully, dragging you into his friend group. Letting Mic do the heavy social lifting. Letting Nemuri do the loud girls nights. Letting you roam free, happy and oblivious. Careful as he peppers in the benefits of working for UA. Good pay, excellent protection, unmatchable care package...

Ah, but he's rambling, you were mentioning your unreasonable boss?

And of course, his friends will tease. He has a "crush". That's one word for what he feels. They suggest dates and hookups. It sounds awful. He has an almost comically low sex drive. You would too, with working hours like his. WOULD he though?

The second you showed interest. In anyway you'd have him. Like it's his life's MISSION to get you off. He'd do RESEARCH. Deep dives. Your computer? Hacked. Your search history? Gone through with a fine tooth comb. He found your smut stash WEEKS ago. Has copies of every title, been going through them like he's studying for a final.

He's been friends with Nemuri for YEARS. Knows things youve never even considered. If not from HER, then from her 18+ Hero work friends. They're loud. He's vaguely annoyed that it actually HAS become useful knowledge.

And? The thought of having you completely, taking you apart, holding you, boneless and soft and warm against him? Makes feels like some horny teenager, for how quick that does it for him. He has FANTASIES of what he would do to you, if he actually had enough time of to be well rested.

Wants to pamper you. Wants to limp, bruised and sore, to your apartment, so you'll WORRY. Want to pamper HIM. Want to focus on him. Pay attention to him. Be soft and careful and gentle with him. Your poor wounded hero...

Ah, he bets he could convince you to let him sleep, propped up in your arms.

It'd be so WARM.

In the meantime? He'll slowly get you used to him. Use Mic to do it. That's right, every hour is cuddle hour. It's good for mental health and hormonal regulation. Perfectly logical, really, to get some casual touch from trusted friends, right? Honestly, there's nothing to see here. He's harmless. Of course he can help braid your hair. Sure you can lean against him. Cold? Let's share a sleeping bag.

He's harmless.

Like a grumpy cat.

A big, dangerous cat.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The moral injury of having your work enshittified

This Monday (November 27), I'm appearing at the Toronto Metro Reference Library with Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen.

On November 29, I'm at NYC's Strand Books with my novel The Lost Cause, a solarpunk tale of hope and danger that Rebecca Solnit called "completely delightful."

This week, I wrote about how the Great Enshittening – in which all the digital services we rely on become unusable, extractive piles of shit – did not result from the decay of the morals of tech company leadership, but rather, from the collapse of the forces that discipline corporate wrongdoing:

https://locusmag.com/2023/11/commentary-by-cory-doctorow-dont-be-evil/

The failure to enforce competition law allowed a few companies to buy out their rivals, or sell goods below cost until their rivals collapsed, or bribe key parts of their supply chain not to allow rivals to participate:

https://www.engadget.com/google-reportedly-pays-apple-36-percent-of-ad-search-revenues-from-safari-191730783.html

The resulting concentration of the tech sector meant that the surviving firms were stupendously wealthy, and cozy enough that they could agree on a common legislative agenda. That regulatory capture has allowed tech companies to violate labor, privacy and consumer protection laws by arguing that the law doesn't apply when you use an app to violate it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

But the regulatory capture isn't just about preventing regulation: it's also about creating regulation – laws that make it illegal to reverse-engineer, scrape, and otherwise mod, hack or reconfigure existing services to claw back value that has been taken away from users and business customers. This gives rise to Jay Freeman's perfectly named doctrine of "felony contempt of business-model," in which it is illegal to use your own property in ways that anger the shareholders of the company that sold it to you:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

Undisciplined by the threat of competition, regulation, or unilateral modification by users, companies are free to enshittify their products. But what does that actually look like? I say that enshittification is always precipitated by a lost argument.

It starts when someone around a board-room table proposes doing something that's bad for users but good for the company. If the company faces the discipline of competition, regulation or self-help measures, then the workers who are disgusted by this course of action can say, "I think doing this would be gross, and what's more, it's going to make the company poorer," and so they win the argument.

But when you take away that discipline, the argument gets reduced to, "Don't do this because it would make me ashamed to work here, even though it will make the company richer." Money talks, bullshit walks. Let the enshittification begin!

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/22/who-wins-the-argument/#corporations-are-people-my-friend

But why do workers care at all? That's where phrases like "don't be evil" come into the picture. Until very recently, tech workers participated in one of history's tightest labor markets, in which multiple companies with gigantic war-chests bid on their labor. Even low-level employees routinely fielded calls from recruiters who dangled offers of higher salaries and larger stock grants if they would jump ship for a company's rival.

Employers built "campuses" filled with lavish perks: massages, sports facilities, daycare, gourmet cafeterias. They offered workers generous benefit packages, including exotic health benefits like having your eggs frozen so you could delay fertility while offsetting the risks normally associated with conceiving at a later age.

But all of this was a transparent ruse: the business-case for free meals, gyms, dry-cleaning, catering and massages was to keep workers at their laptops for 10, 12, or even 16 hours per day. That egg-freezing perk wasn't about helping workers plan their families: it was about thumbing the scales in favor of working through your entire twenties and thirties without taking any parental leave.

In other words, tech employers valued their employees as a means to an end: they wanted to get the best geeks on the payroll and then work them like government mules. The perks and pay weren't the result of comradeship between management and labor: they were the result of the discipline of competition for labor.

This wasn't really a secret, of course. Big Tech workers are split into two camps: blue badges (salaried employees) and green badges (contractors). Whenever there is a slack labor market for a specific job or skill, it is converted from a blue badge job to a green badge job. Green badges don't get the food or the massages or the kombucha. They don't get stock or daycare. They don't get to freeze their eggs. They also work long hours, but they are incentivized by the fear of poverty.

Tech giants went to great lengths to shield blue badges from green badges – at some Google campuses, these workforces actually used different entrances and worked in different facilities or on different floors. Sometimes, green badge working hours would be staggered so that the armies of ragged clickworkers would not be lined up to badge in when their social betters swanned off the luxury bus and into their airy adult kindergartens.

But Big Tech worked hard to convince those blue badges that they were truly valued. Companies hosted regular town halls where employees could ask impertinent questions of their CEOs. They maintained freewheeling internal social media sites where techies could rail against corporate foolishness and make Dilbert references.

And they came up with mottoes.

Apple told its employees it was a sound environmental steward that cared about privacy. Apple also deliberately turned old devices into e-waste by shredding them to ensure that they wouldn't be repaired and compete with new devices:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

And even as they were blocking Facebook's surveillance tools, they quietly built their own nonconsensual mass surveillance program and lied to customers about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Facebook told employees they were on a "mission to connect every person in the world," but instead deliberately sowed discontent among its users and trapped them in silos that meant that anyone who left Facebook lost all their friends:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

And Google promised its employees that they would not "be evil" if they worked at Google. For many googlers, that mattered. They wanted to do something good with their lives, and they had a choice about who they would work for. What's more, they did make things that were good. At their high points, Google Maps, Google Mail, and of course, Google Search were incredible.

My own life was totally transformed by Maps: I have very poor spatial sense, need to actually stop and think to tell my right from my left, and I spent more of my life at least a little lost and often very lost. Google Maps is the cognitive prosthesis I needed to become someone who can go anywhere. I'm profoundly grateful to the people who built that service.

There's a name for phenomenon in which you care so much about your job that you endure poor conditions and abuse: it's called "vocational awe," as coined by Fobazi Ettarh:

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

Ettarh uses the term to apply to traditionally low-waged workers like librarians, teachers and nurses. In our book Chokepoint Capitalism, Rebecca Giblin and I talked about how it applies to artists and other creative workers, too:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

But vocational awe is also omnipresent in tech. The grandiose claims to be on a mission to make the world a better place are not just puffery – they're a vital means of motivating workers who can easily quit their jobs and find a new one to put in 16-hour days. The massages and kombucha and egg-freezing are not framed as perks, but as logistical supports, provided so that techies on an important mission can pursue a shared social goal without being distracted by their balky, inconvenient meatsuits.

Steve Jobs was a master of instilling vocational awe. He was full of aphorisms like "we're here to make a dent in the universe, otherwise why even be here?" Or his infamous line to John Sculley, whom he lured away from Pepsi: "Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or come with me and change the world?"

Vocational awe cuts both ways. If your workforce actually believes in all that high-minded stuff, if they actually sacrifice their health, family lives and self-care to further the mission, they will defend it. That brings me back to enshittification, and the argument: "If we do this bad thing to the product I work on, it will make me hate myself."

The decline in market discipline for large tech companies has been accompanied by a decline in labor discipline, as the market for technical work grew less and less competitive. Since the dotcom collapse, the ability of tech giants to starve new entrants of market oxygen has shrunk techies' dreams.

Tech workers once dreamed of working for a big, unwieldy firm for a few years before setting out on their own to topple it with a startup. Then, the dream shrank: work for that big, clumsy firm for a few years, then do a fake startup that makes a fake product that is acquihired by your old employer, as an incredibly inefficient and roundabout way to get a raise and a bonus.

Then the dream shrank again: work for a big, ugly firm for life, but get those perks, the massages and the kombucha and the stock options and the gourmet cafeteria and the egg-freezing. Then it shrank again: work for Google for a while, but then get laid off along with 12,000 co-workers, just months after the company does a stock buyback that would cover all those salaries for the next 27 years:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/10/the-proletarianization-of-tech-workers/

Tech workers' power was fundamentally individual. In a tight labor market, tech workers could personally stand up to their bosses. They got "workplace democracy" by mouthing off at town hall meetings. They didn't have a union, and they thought they didn't need one. Of course, they did need one, because there were limits to individual power, even for the most in-demand workers, especially when it came to ghastly, long-running sexual abuse from high-ranking executives:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/25/technology/google-sexual-harassment-andy-rubin.html

Today, atomized tech workers who are ordered to enshittify the products they take pride in are losing the argument. Workers who put in long hours, missed funerals and school plays and little league games and anniversaries and family vacations are being ordered to flush that sacrifice down the toilet to grind out a few basis points towards a KPI.

It's a form of moral injury, and it's palpable in the first-person accounts of former workers who've exited these large firms or the entire field. The viral "Reflecting on 18 years at Google," written by Ian Hixie, vibrates with it:

https://ln.hixie.ch/?start=1700627373

Hixie describes the sense of mission he brought to his job, the workplace democracy he experienced as employees' views were both solicited and heeded. He describes the positive contributions he was able to make to a commons of technical standards that rippled out beyond Google – and then, he says, "Google's culture eroded":

Decisions went from being made for the benefit of users, to the benefit of Google, to the benefit of whoever was making the decision.

In other words, techies started losing the argument. Layoffs weakened worker power – not just to defend their own interest, but to defend the users interests. Worker power is always about more than workers – think of how the 2019 LA teachers' strike won greenspace for every school, a ban on immigration sweeps of students' parents at the school gates and other community benefits:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/23/a-collective-bargain/

Hixie attributes the changes to a change in leadership, but I respectfully disagree. Hixie points to the original shareholder letter from the Google founders, in which they informed investors contemplating their IPO that they were retaining a controlling interest in the company's governance so that they could ignore their shareholders' priorities in favor of a vision of Google as a positive force in the world:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/

Hixie says that the leadership that succeeded the founders lost sight of this vision – but the whole point of that letter is that the founders never fully ceded control to subsequent executive teams. Yes, those executive teams were accountable to the shareholders, but the largest block of voting shares were retained by the founders.

I don't think the enshittification of Google was due to a change in leadership – I think it was due to a change in discipline, the discipline imposed by competition, regulation and the threat of self-help measures. Take ads: when Google had to contend with one-click adblocker installation, it had to constantly balance the risk of making users so fed up that they googled "how do I block ads?" and then never saw another ad ever again.

But once Google seized the majority of the mobile market, it was able to funnel users into apps, and reverse-engineering an app is a felony (felony contempt of business-model) under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a crime to install an ad-blocker.

And as Google acquired control over the browser market, it was likewise able to reduce the self-help measures available to browser users who found ads sufficiently obnoxious to trigger googling "how do I block ads?" The apotheosis of this is the yearslong campaign to block adblockers in Chrome, which the company has sworn it will finally do this coming June:

https://www.tumblr.com/tevruden/734352367416410112/you-have-until-june-to-dump-chrome

My contention here is not that Google's enshittification was precipitated by a change in personnel via the promotion of managers who have shitty ideas. Google's enshittification was precipitated by a change in discipline, as the negative consequences of heeding those shitty ideas were abolished thanks to monopoly.

This is bad news for people like me, who rely on services like Google Maps as cognitive prostheses. Elizabeth Laraki, one of the original Google Maps designers, has published a scorching critique of the latest GMaps design:

https://twitter.com/elizlaraki/status/1727351922254852182

Laraki calls out numerous enshittificatory design-choices that have left Maps screens covered in "crud" – multiple revenue-maximizing elements that come at the expense of usability, shifting value from users to Google.

What Laraki doesn't say is that these UI elements are auctioned off to merchants, which means that the business that gives Google the most money gets the greatest prominence in Maps, even if it's not the best merchant. That's a recurring motif in enshittified tech platforms, most notoriously Amazon, which makes $31b/year auctioning off top search placement to companies whose products aren't relevant enough to your query to command that position on their own:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

Enshittification begets enshittification. To succeed on Amazon, you must divert funds from product quality to auction placement, which means that the top results are the worst products:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

The exception is searches for Apple products: Apple and Amazon have a cozy arrangement that means that searches for Apple products are a timewarp back to the pre-enshittification Amazon, when the company worried enough about losing your business to heed the employees who objected to sacrificing search quality as part of a merchant extortion racket:

https://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-gives-apple-special-treatment-while-others-suffer-junk-ads-2023-11

Not every tech worker is a tech bro, in other words. Many workers care deeply about making your life better. But the microeconomics of the boardroom in a monopolized tech sector rewards the worst people and continuously promotes them. Forget the Peter Principle: tech is ruled by the Sam Principle.

As OpenAI went through four CEOs in a single week, lots of commentators remarked on Sam Altman's rise and fall and rise, but I only found one commentator who really had Altman's number. Writing in Today in Tabs, Rusty Foster nailed Altman to the wall:

https://www.todayintabs.com/p/defective-accelerationism

Altman's history goes like this: first, he founded a useless startup that raised $30m, only to be acquired and shuttered. Then Altman got a job running Y Combinator, where he somehow failed at taking huge tranches of equity from "every Stanford dropout with an idea for software to replace something Mommy used to do." After that, he founded OpenAI, a company that he claims to believe presents an existential risk to the entire human risk – which he structured so incompetently that he was then forced out of it.

His reward for this string of farcical, mounting failures? He was put back in charge of the company he mis-structured despite his claimed belief that it will destroy the human race if not properly managed.

Altman's been around for a long time. He founded his startup in 2005. There've always been Sams – of both the Bankman-Fried varietal and the Altman genus – in tech. But they didn't get to run amok. They were disciplined by their competitors, regulators, users and workers. The collapse of competition led to an across-the-board collapse in all of those forms of discipline, revealing the executives for the mediocre sociopaths they always were, and exposing tech workers' vocational awe for the shabby trick it was from the start.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/25/moral-injury/#enshittification

[strawberryblondebutch]

If you are a visibly disenfranchised person in America (by race, gender, sexuality, physical ability, or any other definition) and are worried about violence carried out in the name of sycophants, I would strongly recommend arming yourselves.

Brass knuckles are not illegal at the federal level, although many states have their own laws. They work in two directions: the brass rings increase the injury you do onto someone else, while the palm grip redistributes the kickback so that you're less likely to break your own fingers. Kevlar gauntlets, like the ones I wear for motorcycling, help with the latter more than the former.

Switchblades are becoming increasingly legal on the state level thanks in large part to an EMT lobby -- carrying a collapsible blade is helpful when your job involves cutting people out of their seatbelts in vehicle collisions. They come in two types: side-loading and out-the-front. OTF is triggered faster in an emergency.

In both cases, remember that most things are only illegal if you get caught. The issue comes in states where the sale of brass knuckles or switchblades are illegal, which makes them harder to acquire. If you can find a way to send a care package via a reputable courier, you should have no problem transporting across state lines. (My OTF blade came to PA nestled between a pair of sneakers.)

Handguns are easy to purchase in just about any state. Check your state laws to see whether you need a permit and/or to register your firearm to conduct a sale, but unless you're a convicted felon, the process is fairly straightforward. Always hold a handgun with both hands and practice at the range until you're confident in your aim and your stance.

Long guns are not going to be particularly useful on the street. You're unlikely to get the distance from your target to maintain your accuracy. They're more useful for standing your ground on your own property.

Bows are my favorite weapon to handle, but I would not recommend them for protection. It takes years of practice to fire them accurately, and you need space both to draw back the string to your ear and to fire at a distance. Arrows need a certain amount of momentum behind them, snap shots don't really work. Entry-level bows are cheaper than entry-level guns and that's the only edge I will give them.

General advice:

Put spikes anywhere you don't want people grabbing. Wrists and shoulders are the most obvious places. Punks don't just wear them for decoration!

Slip-resistant boots help you hold your ground in a tussle, and most come with an additional benefit like a steel toe or impact-resistant material.

When aiming with brass knuckles or bare fists, aim for the nose and the cheekbone. Both break easily and cause a shockwave of immediate pain that will make your attacker retreat.

Aim for center mass when possible with any type of puncturing weapon. It's the biggest target with the most important organs.

If you are put in a headlock, the thigh has both sensitive nerves and the femoral artery, and it's probably the most available target to you.

Strangling someone might seem like the nicer option, but it's the most dangerous for you. You need at least 10 seconds to strangle to the point of unconsciousness, during which your hands are both occupied and you can't defend yourself as well. Always go for an immediate, painful injury that will disrupt your attacker's attention.

Any protection - body armor or weaponry - is better than no protection. My motorcycle armor was designed to keep me from breaking every bone in my body in a crash, but the way it redistributes bludgeoning force also helps against baseball bats and batons.

Most people are not as prepared to receive physical violence as they are to dole it out.

[lee-laurent]

Slim Pickins - Jack Hughes

Summary: Ana's got slim pickings

content: kissing, allusions to sex, fluff, minor angst, bittersweet ending

wc: 1.8k

inspired by sabrina carpenter's song slim pickins from her new album short n' sweet!

notes: i love sabrina carpenter!! and her new album EATS! i thought of writing a jack fic as soon as i heard the full song!! enjoy!!!

Guess I'll end this life alone I am not dramatic These are just the thoughts that pass right through me

Ana had given up on finding the "perfect guy." Every guy she dated just let her feelings unsatisfied and disappointed. Her friends were beyond excited to introduce her to Jack. They'd dragged her along to the bar, meeting their boyfriends there, and shoving her in the direction of Jack.

A smirk took up his face as soon as his eyes met hers. The blonde just narrowed her eyes, waiting for him to say something. Introduce himself and show her this "Hughes" charm she'd heard so much about from the girls.

"Hey, I'm Jack," he said, extending his hand with a confidence that bordered on arrogance.

Ana took it, her grip firm, but she didn't bother with a smile. "Ana," she replied coolly, already bored.

Jack's smirk deepened, and she could see he was expecting her to be more impressed, maybe even flustered. But Ana was neither.

"Nice to meet you, Ana," he continued, leaning in slightly. "Your friends have been telling me a lot about you."

"Oh, I'm sure they have," Ana said, her tone flat. She glanced around, noticing how her friends were watching eagerly, clearly hoping for sparks. The only sparks Ana felt were the ones of irritation.

Jack raised an eyebrow at her lackluster response, clearly not used to being met with such indifference. "So... what do you do for fun?"

"Read," she replied simply, taking a sip of her drink. "I'm into fiction, but I like a good biography every now and then. You?"

"Uh, I play hockey. For the Devils."

"I know," she said, not bothering to add that she couldn't care less about hockey.

The conversation dragged on, Jack trying to charm her with his stories from the rink. Ana just nodded along, letting her mind wander. She had already resigned herself to the idea that the "perfect" guy didn't exist--not for her, anyway. And Jack, with his cocky grin and predictable lines, wasn't about to change that.

But as the night wore on and she saw the hopeful glances from her friends, Ana sighed inwardly. Maybe it was time to stop holding out for someone who ticked all her boxes. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to settle for someone who could at least hold a conversation--even if it wasn't what she wanted.

With that thought, she decided to give Jack a little more attention to see where things would go.

A boy who's jacked and kind Can't find his ass to save my life

Ana watched as Jack laughed at something one of the other girls' boyfriends had said, the sound rich and easy. He looked the part--tall, athletic, with that effortless charm that had most girls falling head over heels. Her friends had raved about how he was the total package: a boy who was both jacked and kind.

But as Ana sipped on her drink and observed him more closely, she noticed the flaws in her friends' description. Like the way his eyes glazed over whenever the conversation veered away from him and/or hockey, or how he seemed more interested in impressing his friends than actually getting to know her.

Sure, Jack was kind in a superficial way--polite enough, quick with a smile, and generous with compliments (when it benefitted him). It wasn't that she needed him to be perfect-- God knows she'd given up on that fantasy long ago--but she couldn't help the pang of disappointment that she felt. Jack was exactly what everyone had said: good-looking, successful, and charming. But beneath that, he didn't really have much that Ana looked for.

"So, do you follow much hockey?" Jack asked, walking back over from where he had been with his friends.

"Not really," she admitted, her tone more honest than before. "It's never really been my thing."

Jack nodded, looking a little thrown. "Oh. Well, what are you into then?"

Ana considered lying, giving him an answer she knew he'd like, but decided against it. "Honestly? I'm more into arts and stuff like that--books, museums, writing."

Jack's smile wavered, and Ana could tell he was struggling to find a way to connect with her. It wasn't really his fault, she knew she wasn't making it easy. But as she looked at him, trying so hard to find common ground, she couldn't help but feel the weight of her earlier thoughts.

It was time to lower her expectations.

As everyone was saying their goodbyes, Jack gave her a lingering look, clearly hoping for a sign that she was interested. Ana smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks for tonight, Jack. It was... nice."

"Yeah, maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"Maybe."

Oh, it's slim pickings If I can't have the one I love I guess it's you that I'll be kissin' Just to get my fixings Since the good ones are deceased or taken I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

As the weeks went by, Ana found herself spending more time with Jack. Not because she was falling for him, but because it was easier than being alone. The more they hung out, the more she realized that Jack was exactly who she thought he was--nice, handsome, but not who she'd been hoping for her whole life.

One night, after a dinner with their mutual friends, they found themselves alone, walking through the streets of Newark. Jack reached for her hand, and Ana let him take it, though the warmth she'd hoped to feel never came. Instead, she felt a dull ache of acceptance. This wasn't what she wanted, but it was better than nothing, right?

Jack stopped walking, turning to face her. There was something in his eyes. "Ana," he began, his voice softer than usual, "I really like you. I want this to work."

He was trying--really trying--and it wasn't fair to him that she couldn't muster the same enthusiasm. But life had a way of wearing down those high hopes she once held onto.

She forced a smile, leaning to press a quick kiss to his lips. "I like you too, Jack," she said, though the words felt hollow.

The continued walking, hand in hand, and Ana thought about what her perfect guy looked like. Maybe George Harrison or a young Bob Dylan. A guy with soul, who wrote her songs and poems. Wasn't afraid to talk about feelings, but was still just as attractive as Jack. But Jack was here, and he was nice, but he wasn't a young Jimmy Page.

That night, as she lay in bed next to Jack, who had fallen asleep almost immediately, Ana stared at the ceiling, her thoughts swirling. She knew she should be grateful--Jack was sweet, he cared about her--but the spark wasn't as strong as she dreamed.

Jesus, what's a girl to do? This boy doesn't even know The difference between "there," "their" and "they are"

Ana tried to focus on whatever her friends were yapping about, but Jack's text messages kept lighting up her phone. The boy didn't even know the difference between "there," "their," and "they are."

She reread his text over and over again. "I'll meet you over at they're place. Their should be plenty of parking outside if you don't wanna walk." Ana had almost chucked her phone across the room at the sight of it.

"You okay, Ana Banana?" one of the girls asked.

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking about shit."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Ana hesitated. What was she supposed to say? That she was annoyed because her boyfriend couldn't differentiate between basic homophones? That she was frustrated because she wanted more than he could offer? It wasn't fair--he wasn't really doing anything wrong.

"Nah, it's stupid. Just work stuff," she shrugged. "Continue your story."

Yet he's naked in my room Missin' all the things he's missin'

Jack sighed, pulling her body into his. She cringed at the feeling of his sweaty chest against her back. The room was quiet, just the sound of their breathing returning to normal. She turned to look at him, brushing some of the hair stuck to his forehead back. He looked at her with so much care in his eyes, massaging the skin of her thigh.

He was completely unaware of everything she thought was missing in him. So oblivious to the things that mattered to her. He didn't understand her passion for literature, her love for art, or the way she craved deep, meaningful conversations with her boyfriend.

But none of that mattered to Jack, he was just happy to have Ana by his side. And it made her feel so guilty. But if she didn't have Jack... what would she have? She'd be back to being lonely and bored with her life. At least Jack brought some excitement with him.

Since the good ones call their exes wasted And since the Lord forgot my gay awakenin' Then I'll just be here in the kitchen Servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'

The kitchen was dimly lit, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting shadows on the walls. Ana was putting away the last of the dishes from dinner, her mind preoccupied with everything she'd been thinking about over the entirety of their relationship. The rhythmic clicking of plates was a soothing backdrop to her contemplation.

Jack had been quieter than usual, his nerves evident as he fidgeted with his phone as she dried their wine glasses. Ana glanced over, noticing his unease but attributing it to work stress or something else she didn't understand.

After she finished cleaning, Jack took a deep breath and approached her, his face the most serious she'd ever seen. Ana's heart skipped a beat as she saw him pull out a small velvet box from his pocket.

"Ana," he began, "I know things haven't always been perfect, but I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Ana's breath caught in her throat as she looked at the ring. She had been contemplating the idea of settling for the last year, and now, faced with Jack's heartfelt proposal, she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Since the good ones all call their exes wasted," she thought, reflecting on all her past disappointments and the unattainable ideal she once chased.

Then I'll be here in the kitchen, servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'. The idea echoed in her mind as she stood there, knowing that despite her doubts, Jack was offering her a commitment that she might not find elsewhere.

"Yes, Jack," Ana smiled. "I will marry you."

Jack's face lit up with joy as he slipped the ring onto her finger. Ana had come to terms with the idea that while Jack might not be the "perfect" partner she once dreamed of, he was a solid choice in a world of slim pickings. She had chosen to move forward with him, not because he was perfect, but because he was the best she could find.

Jack just might have to put up with some moanin' and bitchin'.

[yooglefics]

The casual type: 05 . The art of paying attention

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader Wordcount: 3,354 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ???. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. Fluff for cute friends. Summary:  ( Series ) • Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However, no one really expected things to end the way they did. ( Ep. 05 ) • Sometime the little details mean more than people think. More info under read more.

Includes ( this chapter ): The squad<3. Subin my love. And other new characters. A kind of out of nowhere jump in time ( just a few weeks ) because the writing just flowed like that, I don't know what to tell you. A mini-drama ( this is the spoiler I posted on ko-fi the other week ) and a bigger drama.  Author's note: so… I'm sorry this took so long to be updated Y_Y As you may know, inspiration hasn't been too good these days, but after some lovely comments and knowing people are interested in this story, I finally finished this chapter, so thank you! Also, let me know if you figured out what the drama was before the end, or if you had a theory about it, etc. Hopefully you like this one, and remember to leave a comment, reblog, send an ask, follow or what not, to help my motivation. Thank you for reading <3

“Kang Subin, queer and honorable member of the divorced parents club.” Is how your roommate introduces herself friday night, pointing to the latter as the reason she is only now, a month after classes started, arriving to campus and the city in general. 

She says her dad insisted on doing a year abroad as he did, assisting to his Alma Mater and hopefully fall in love with the city to move full time with him. And she did love it… a little too much. She admits the change of scenery was liberating, she could be a totally different Subin from the one in Seoul, and sadly that meant neglecting her notes and putting at risk her art history degree.

You're glad to note she will be joining you ( and some of your friends on occasion ) for classes, since she managed to keep her notes high enough to not lose her first semester. And then you spend the weekend getting to know each other, practically becoming friends overnight. Subin says it must be a you thing, and shaking your head no, you confess essentially begging the administration for a roommate because you're stuck with silly boys and all girls hate you because you aren't cool like them. She laughs, asks if that means the plan is making everyone hate her too and be stuck with you. And you freak out a little, but her laugh keeps flowing across the dormroom and you know she is joking; you know that things would be fine.

Monday arrives and between classes, you continue to give Subin small tours of the campus, mostly the art building and where all the vending machines are. 

“There's more than I thought, could you make me a map?” She jokingly asks.

“I'll ask Jungkook for the one we made last semester,” you know he has it because it was offered to Yoongi before.

“Hey, y/n!” calls Taehyung, appearing at the other end of the hall with Yoongi, and when he asks “you got some gum?”, you know they were just on a smoke break.

“Oh, hi, Tae. Nice to see you.” Sarcastic tone all over it, “are you having a nice morning?”

He rolls his eyes and Yoongi laughs at his side.

“Sorry, I'm actually not. And I'm running late,” still you give him a look and as a little kid he repends. “Hi, you guys look pretty today, as alway.” He adds before you can argue anything, and only then Subin chuckles, understanding this must be part of your dynamic. “Do you happen to have some gum for us, your lovely friends?”

“Yes, actually.” Taking one strap off, you move your backpack to your front, looking for the little package they keep stealing from. “Here,” you hand one wrapper to Tae, who starts running in the other direction immediately, screaming how much he loves you. And a “nice to meet you!” to Subin.

Everyone laughs, Yoongi turning back in your direction after Taehyung disappears down the hallway.

“You want one?” You ask and before being able to stop yourself, you add, “Is cherry, though” 

“Of course it is,” he smiles and you look away, pretending it's only to search for another one to offer Subin. Memories of friday’s night invading your psyche and shyness your whole body. 

Well, that's your own fault.

“Thank you,” she says, looking at the two of you while unwrapping it. “I'm Subin, by the way, the new roommate.” 

“Oh, she actually found one!”

“Just hoping she doesn't abandon me too,” you pout and Subin wraps one arm around yours.

“Never.”

“Yoongi,” He introduces, thumb pointing to himself and then behind, “And that was Taehyung, but I guess you'd meet the whole squad later.”

“Ah, yeah. I've been told she collects cute guys.”

“Did someone actually say that?” Yoongi asks when you're not even surprised.

“Yeah and when I asked about girls she looked relieved,” subin goes on, “I actually wanted to know, you know.”

Yoongi and you laugh, “someone doesn't like competition,” both say in unison.

“I told you, they lied.”

“Well, I can't really say that yet. I've to look first,” Subin insists, walking through the cafeteria's door. And it doesn't bother you because it comes from a place of curiosity and not horniness. No shame to anyone, your friends are hot, but you've known them for so long and know they have other great attributes that sometimes it feels superficial and it bothers you.

Besides, as a friend, you need to keep their egos just high enough to be healthy for everyone involved.

“Listen, kids,” calling for the table's attention, you stand in front of them, “this is Subin, my—”

“New roommate?” Asks Jungkook, remembering the text you sent, and you nod excitedly.

“That's Jungkook, he is in music and sports.”

“Which ones?”

“All. Some. We don't have time for that,” you joke, but only continue with the rest of his introduction after the youngest clarifies is soccer and box this year. “Oh, he also takes an art class with Taehyung and I, and now you, this semester. You know Tae from earlier, the one who keeps stealing my gum.”

“You're the one that tells me to not show up to class with cigarette breath!” He pushes back against accusations.

“I think she wants you to buy your own,” Jimin suggests.

“Or quit,” adds Hobi and the table laughs even more.

“That’s Hobi, the group's mom.” Tae offers after.

“Does that make Mai the dad?” Jungkook asks, with a serious expression on his face.

“I'm telling her so,” Yoongi says, already phone in hand and texting his best friend.

“You'll have to meet Mai later, she is great,” you continue, “but Tae is in arts. And Hobi and Jimin, are both dancers,” index finger pointing at their direction as you say each name, “and well, you already know that's Yoongi, he is in music too.”

“And the last new guy, right?” Subin remembers from your talk earlier after she met him for the first time, “I guess I took your title.”

“Are we enemies now?” He jokes, “I was about to offer you my chair, but now I don't know.”

Again, laughs all around and before anyone can think about the sitting arrangement too seriously, Jungkook is standing up, saying he needs to go back to the house before his next class.

“Oh, you are the biker from friday!” Subin exclaims as Jungkook’s helmet comes into view, everyone turning to look at her, “can't believe I forgot to ask you.”

And then five pairs of eyes are on you, all but Yoongi's, since he doesn't need an explanation. 

“...What?” Asks Tae, finally.

“Had to call her to my rescue because I lost my key and from the hallway's window I saw someone drop her off on a motorcycle,” she explains, “that's when the girl told me about you collecting cute guys.”

“But that wasn't me,” says Jungkook.

“Yeah, you weren't with us that night. We were all at the house, so who was it?” Ask Jimin, and the curiosity in his voice makes you nervous. You have never lied to them, and starting right now without preparation is terrifying.

However nothing compares to the feeling on your stomach when Yoongi answers, “it was me, actually.” And without a beat, your friends are looking at him now, “What?”

“You what now?” Mister interrogation Tae goes on, “Why were you together? What time was it? Was it late?”

“You were alone? Why?” Asks Hobi.

“We can't hang out now?” You ask back, wasn't he who set you up in the first place? And yes, it didn't turn out the way they planned it, but wasn't the whole premise to get to know Yoongi?

“Not what I meant,” he corrects, “Just… you didn't say anything.”

“Well, you guys canceled, what were we supposed to do? Not do anything just because you weren't with us?” Yoongi answers before you. 

“And we just hang out, you know, eat junk food and chat. Nothing to write home about.”

“Aww,” coos Jungkook, sliding his arm over your shoulders, “does that mean you missed us? You really love us, uh?” you pull back, sticking your tongue at him and pushing him towards the exit, telling him to hurry because if he is late to class you aren't covering for him again.

Thankfully, that's enough to get them off your back and Subin’s arrival provides better entertainment through the lunch hour, as your friends don't hold back on their questions to get to know her. And you're glad they seem to like her as much as you do.

“So… should I've not mentioned the bike thing?” worries Subin later, when everyone has left and is only her and Yoongi at the table.

“Don't worry about it.” He reassures her, offering a tangerine slice when she doesn't return the smile. “Seriously.” 

Is not her fault, he thinks. He can't blame the guys either for wondering and going into big brother mode as soon as they hear you're hanging out with someone, since the prevalence of that is not the best right now. And although he does feels bad about keeping things a secret from them, mostly Hoseok, who Yoongi himself give the “you better be careful with what you do with my best friend” talk, it consoles him a bit to know that the both of you are on the same page with what you have. 

Maybe if they knew it wouldn't be a big deal, he thinks. Better him than anyone else, right?

Putting away your phone and with the excuse of going to the bathroom before class, Subin and Tae follow their journey to the second floor without you and without suspecting anything. As you walk in front of one of the classrooms, a hand wraps around your forearm and pulls you in.

“What th—!” scream is interrupted when you recognize Yoongi. “You almost gave me a heart attack! I could've punched you.” And with adrenaline still running through your body, you actually push his shoulder with less force than you first intended.

“Ouch.” He rubs the place you hit, dramatically, as he explains, “Sorry, I panicked. There were people around and I didn't want to scream your name”

“Yeah, we should be careful after what happened at the cafeteria. Good save, by the way.”

“You own me,” he quickly returns.

“I do not,” you deny, crossing your arms, “You were the one insisting on going into the parking lot, I told you to leave me at the gate.”

“Well, forgive me for being a gentleman.”

You laugh, “and modest.”

Yoongi smiles, relaxing his body against the wall beside the door, “are you telling Subin about us?” he asks before you can question him about why he asked to meet.

Uncrossing your arms, you fiddle with your nails instead, scratching the acrylic paint off of them. “What is your opinion on that?”

“You can't answer a question with a question, miss.”

“Well… I don't know.” Is your final answer after a few seconds of silence. “She is cool and I really think we’re going to be friends and maybe I can gossip to her about you.”

He chuckles at that.

“And also she said sorry and asked if it was supposed to be a secret.”

“Really?” Yoongi sounds surprised, “She asked me that too earlier and I told her to not worry.”

“I feel bad about it because it seems like she is actually worried she messed up,” you share, “maybe I should just come clean. Only to her, at least. But of course not, if you don't want to.”

“No, it's okay. I think is good you have someone to talk to. And she seems nice.”

You nod in agreement, relieved you don't have to start hiding things from Subin as soon as you two met.

“Also,” Yoongi goes on, holding your hips and bringing you closer to him. You allow him to without much thinking. “It was nothing to write home about?”

“What?” 

“Friday night, you said that earlier.” 

“Did your ego get hurt?” You tease.

“No. But I didn't know you were a liar.” he throws back and you laugh. “I'm going to call you Pinocchio now.”

At that, you gasp, “stop giving me nicknames!”

And your attempt to pull away is just that, an attempt, because between laughs he holds you closer. “But is funny. And all of them are true.”

“They aren't.”

“Are so.”

“I don't like you.”

“That's not what I got from friday.”

“Yoongiii—.” you gasp again, his laugh louder this time.

Wanting a clarification stops him from dumping his phone back into the duffle bag and so, throwing the strap over his shoulder, he makes his way over to Chris and other teammates. 

“Are you ready to go?” His roommate asks, and Yoongi nods, “good, I'm just waiting for Ha-ri.” 

“Hey!” As they turn around, it is not difficult to recognize her as one of the cheerleaders since she is carrying her pom-poms and all, but is only as they continue talking that Yoongi realizes who she is, “sorry, I was saying goodbye to the girls and planning for next practice.” 

“Don't worry, babe.” 

“You must be Yoongi, hi,” she waves her free hand enthusiastically enough the pendant on her bracelet makes a jiggly sound, catching his attention “welcome to the university. And the team. Go, Bears!”

She seems nice, Yoongi thinks, “Go, bears!” first in the air, he chuckles in response before they all make their way to the parking lot and to Chris’s car.

The drive home is short and filled with questions about his last school and the reason he transferred, which Yoongi manages to give simple and vague answers that satisfy Ha-ri’s curiosity. It definitely helps that he has been questioned about it more than once the last few weeks, giving him more than one chance to practice before today.

The more weeks pass, the less people ask. And soon the mystery of his arrival is pushed to the side as people decide to talk about his accomplishments in the basketball games.

Every now and then someone recognizes him as an ex Tiger's player, and asks why he changed teams, but before anything can get to deep, a “well, now you are on the right team,” or something alike is thrown his way and he couldn't be more glad for the rivalry between the universities.

For what is worth, the change has proven to have been a good decision. Of course he is nostalgic for the past and he misses hanging out with Mai more often, but he has friends, basketball and music. He has even been planning to perform at school events with Jungkook as he did with Jay back then. 

It feels like he is starting to build a new life, and it wasn't as difficult as his brain told him it could be.

With chuseok around the corner the university starts to plan the events for the weekend and some professors feel generous enough to give extra credits for participation. Others just used it as an excuse to make the assignments related to it, that's his and Jungkook’s case.

Yours is the first one, because getting a good grade for hanging out with your friends sounds too good to pass out. That's why for the last few days you have been following them around taking pictures and notes, preparing your article about their performance Saturday night. 

“Are you done?” Yoongi asks from his spot at the end of the bed when you take the headphones off, the ones he made you wear so he wouldn't have to listen to himself on the interview recording.

“Yep. I only need Kook's side and I'm done,” end of the sentence elongates a bit, arms in the air as you stretch your back.

“How long for him to be here? I need him to go over something before he eats and gets a food coma.”

“I'm glad you're already prepared for that,” you giggle, “Because he is not even seeing my texts.”

“He is still busy?”

“Yeah, kissing someone for sure. Does he think I don't have things to do too?” 

“Like making out with someone too?” he jokes, putting his guitar down on the bed, deciding to take a break too.

“Why? Are you jealous?” you tease, trying not to laugh and is surprising when you're met with a serious expression as you spin around on his desk chair.

 “I thought the rule was to tell if there were other people.”

“I'm just kidding,”

“Wow, a comedian.” he rolls his eyes, and you know he is only pretending to be annoyed.

So, you push. “I'm funnier than you, don't get mad.”

“Cocky.” 

“What, you don't find confidence attractive?”

“Oh, I find a lot of things about you attractive.” 

Touche; you think as a smirk appears proudly on his face and makes you turn around, shy reaction at the security of this voice.

And he laughs. Of course.

“Shut up, Yoongi.”

“If you want to kiss me, just do it,” he only has to stretch a bit to pull on the chair, making you turn to him again and bringing you close.

And you do kiss him.

Not only to erase his stupid and attractive gummy smile, but also because you've missed it.

With projects and exams, with Yoongi not only being in a different major but also in his third year, hanging out only the two of you hasn't happened as much. 

You don't mind. You understand that is not a priority and there is something relaxing about it being an unspoken agreement, something that you truthly appreciate. 

But you would be lying if you said that you didn't miss Yoongi's lips against yours and the way his hand cups your cheek, still gentle as he tries to lead the kiss. 

Looking for closeness, your hand finds balance on his tight, making you contemplate ditching the comfiness of the desk chair for a sit on his lap.

“Is pizza night, baby!” breaks through the house before you can make another move, making you jump and pull away on instinct. Moving out of Yoongi's reach, even hitting the desk with the back of the chair as you stand up in record time.

“Careful,” he murmurs and you don't understand why he isn't freaking out. Even dears to chuckle.

“Min, come out!” another voice calls out.

“That's not Jungkook,” you say as a matter of fact, your brain still in shock.

“I'm starting to think he stood us up.” He stands up, looking at his phone still without texts from the younger guy, “Wanna meet my roommates? They have pizza, apparently.”

And your empty stomach makes the executive decision to hide your shame, and disappointment, in exchange for some food.

You're introduced to Jin first, who introduces Namjoon while taking the knife out of his hand with a “let hyung do it.”

“I swear he never lets me hold a knife for more than five seconds,” he says and you find it adorable, but Namjoon seems genuinely confused and maybe a bit hurt by it. 

You wonder what more there's to that. But before you can ask anything, a third roommate comes out of the kitchen, “Is for your own good and the wellbeing of everyone involved,” he says, making your whole body tense as the familiar voice rings through your ears.

“That's Chris.” Jin says, and you almost answer that you know, but for a second it is even hard to breathe.

Nevertheless, you don't need to say anything, because your silence is everything Yoongi needed to confirm that an introduction isn't necessary and in fact, you'd probably rather forget about him. 

Because is him.

The guy who hurt you.

A/N: I missed writing this! again thank you to anyone who has show interest one way or another, you're the reason this chapter was actually finished uwu♡. A/N 2: I'm working on the intros for the characters that aren't part of the squad, and sometimes I ask for your help with fc's suggestions or names, so... that's something to know if you're interested. Send a tip on ko-fi and get some rewards!!

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