shousetsubangbang

[shousetsubangbang]

Shousetsu Bang*Bang 2024 in Review

Thanks for joining us for another great year of smutty queer original stories and art! Here's how we spent 2024:

Issue 107: Yes, Chef was our culinary-themed February issue. Hope you're hungry, because this issue serves up an eight-course banquet of stories, art, and other tasty treats.

Usually SSBB prides itself on original tales that you can hop right into with no prior knowledge, but April's Issue 108: Another Round mixed things up by offering direct sequels, prequels, and companions to stories that have run in previous SSBB issues. It's like getting two issues for the price of one! (That price was free.)

All aboard for Issue 109: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea! June's issue took a nautical approach, catching sea creatures and beach bums alike in its sexy nets.

Issue 110: Neon Lights is the issue that never sleeps! Inspired by big-city night life, August's urban tales of steamy romance will stay up with you long past last call.

The past isn't past -- it's here in Issue 111: Hauntology! Our traditionally spooky October issue is a little on the gentler side this time, but still good for a ghostly shiver or two.

And for our last trick, we've got our theme-free December big bang, Issue 112, to ring in the New Year just right. Containing both the shortest and the longest stories we've run all year, this issue is a smorgasbord of smutty tales to fit and fill all tastes!

As has been true for the last nineteen years, all of our contents are made with love and the hard work of creators who give freely of their time and talents. If you like what we're doing, please help us keep the project going by reblogging this post, sharing links, and generally getting the word out about a queer webzine that is probably older than some of you reading this paragraph.

We're always looking for new contributors! Whether you're an experienced creator or just getting started, you should feel welcome to join us! Check out our Themes and Dates for 2025 to see what's coming up. Be sure to click here for our Google calendar with the dates pre-loaded so you never miss a deadline, and join the community on Discord to keep abreast of all fun happenings.

This project literally would not be possible without the support of all our contributors and readers, so thank you for helping keep Shousetsu Bang*Bang rolling all the way into our 20th year in print!

[shousetsubangbang]

Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 112: Theme Free

cover by Swedishjazz

~*~

Shades of Purple, by Togi Kayako (土宜草子)

Nothing They Can Do About It, by Kit Miller

Of Figures and Fingering Things Out, by Greta Jia-Kang Cabrel

Chain Reactions, by juou no zan (女王のザン)

in a hallway, somewhere, by sen no akumu (先の悪夢)

Your Head, Your Neck, My Hands, by Sylla C.

Altare Sacrificiorum Columbarum, by Iron Eater*

*illustrated

–

Rosebuds, by lonelytuatara

Nice n’ Naughty, by yabamena

~*~

It’s been one of those years … pass the SSBB!

Welcome to our sixth and final issue of 2024, our theme-free big bang! All wrapped up and tied in a (metaphorical) bow, we’ve got a batch of stories and art guaranteed to heat up your nights no matter what the temperature outside may be. All queer, all smutty, and all absolutely free!

We here at SSBB are eternally grateful that in the age of commercial flashiness and computer-generated garbage, you’ve chosen to spend your holiday season with our long-running indie webzine. Everything in our pages is created by people who love what we’re doing so much, we just have to share! Please enjoy all our small-batch artisanal dick-touching (to say nothing of other body parts!), handcrafted with love especially for you.

Please help us keep SSBB going by spreading the word on social media (particularly Bluesky, Mastodon, and Tumblr), writing comments of encouragement for the creators, leaving reviews on our ebooks (at Smashwords and itch.io), and becoming one of our authors and/or artists! We’d love to welcome you — or welcome you back — to the project.

2025 will be our 20th year in print (can you believe it?), so check out what’s coming, add the dates and reminders to your Google calendar, and join the community on Discord to keep abreast of all fun happenings.

Thank you all again for helping make this project a reality. Best wishes for the end of the year, and we’ll see you in 2025!

[shousetsubangbang]

Signups are now open for the February 24 issue; the text deadline for the issue is Tuesday, February 11 and the art deadline is Saturday, February 22.

Please reply to this post if you plan to submit a story or artwork for this issue, indicating whether you are interested in contributing to the issue as an author and/or artist, and whether or not you are looking for a collaborative partner. As always, you don’t have to sign up to participate, and you’re not creating an unbreakable contract by signing up, but it’s always a good idea!

This issue’s theme is Nine to Five: Looking to make a work spouse your real spouse? Clock in on time for our office-romance-themed February issue!

Quick Answers: Interested in participating but don’t know where to start? Bring your quick questions here!

Submission Guidelines for Fiction: All the specifics for text submissions. READ BEFORE SUBMITTING.

Submission Guidelines for Art: Whether you’re illustrating or submitting a standalone piece, here’s what you need to know.

Find the Shousetsu Bang*Bang community on Discord! Join us on our very own server for discussions, inspiration, shop talk, silliness, and other behind-the-scenes fun.

For related nonsense, announcements, and various goings-on, find us at our main website, Mastodon, cohost, Plurk, and Tumblr. (Other accounts in less-used places include Reddit, DeviantArt, Archive of Our Own, and Goodreads!) We have pages at Smashwords and Itch.io where you can download ebook versions of past issues for free.

Receive reminders and deadlines by email by signing up for our newsletter! We promise: no spam, only porn.

To make sure you don’t miss a single deadline, click here for our Google calendar with the dates pre-loaded.

[shousetsubangbang]

Signups are now open for the February 24 issue; the text deadline for the issue is Tuesday, February 11 and the art deadline is Saturday, February 22.

Please reply to this post if you plan to submit a story or artwork for this issue, indicating whether you are interested in contributing to the issue as an author and/or artist, and whether or not you are looking for a collaborative partner. As always, you don’t have to sign up to participate, and you’re not creating an unbreakable contract by signing up, but it’s always a good idea!

This issue’s theme is Nine to Five: Looking to make a work spouse your real spouse? Clock in on time for our office-romance-themed February issue!

Quick Answers: Interested in participating but don’t know where to start? Bring your quick questions here!

Submission Guidelines for Fiction: All the specifics for text submissions. READ BEFORE SUBMITTING.

Submission Guidelines for Art: Whether you’re illustrating or submitting a standalone piece, here’s what you need to know.

Find the Shousetsu Bang*Bang community on Discord! Join us on our very own server for discussions, inspiration, shop talk, silliness, and other behind-the-scenes fun.

For related nonsense, announcements, and various goings-on, find us at our main website, Mastodon, cohost, Plurk, and Tumblr. (Other accounts in less-used places include Reddit, DeviantArt, Archive of Our Own, and Goodreads!) We have pages at Smashwords and Itch.io where you can download ebook versions of past issues for free.

Receive reminders and deadlines by email by signing up for our newsletter! We promise: no spam, only porn.

To make sure you don’t miss a single deadline, click here for our Google calendar with the dates pre-loaded.

[shousetsubangbang]

Shousetsu Bang*Bang 2024 in Review

Thanks for joining us for another great year of smutty queer original stories and art! Here's how we spent 2024:

Issue 107: Yes, Chef was our culinary-themed February issue. Hope you're hungry, because this issue serves up an eight-course banquet of stories, art, and other tasty treats.

Usually SSBB prides itself on original tales that you can hop right into with no prior knowledge, but April's Issue 108: Another Round mixed things up by offering direct sequels, prequels, and companions to stories that have run in previous SSBB issues. It's like getting two issues for the price of one! (That price was free.)

All aboard for Issue 109: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea! June's issue took a nautical approach, catching sea creatures and beach bums alike in its sexy nets.

Issue 110: Neon Lights is the issue that never sleeps! Inspired by big-city night life, August's urban tales of steamy romance will stay up with you long past last call.

The past isn't past -- it's here in Issue 111: Hauntology! Our traditionally spooky October issue is a little on the gentler side this time, but still good for a ghostly shiver or two.

And for our last trick, we've got our theme-free December big bang, Issue 112, to ring in the New Year just right. Containing both the shortest and the longest stories we've run all year, this issue is a smorgasbord of smutty tales to fit and fill all tastes!

As has been true for the last nineteen years, all of our contents are made with love and the hard work of creators who give freely of their time and talents. If you like what we're doing, please help us keep the project going by reblogging this post, sharing links, and generally getting the word out about a queer webzine that is probably older than some of you reading this paragraph.

We're always looking for new contributors! Whether you're an experienced creator or just getting started, you should feel welcome to join us! Check out our Themes and Dates for 2025 to see what's coming up. Be sure to click here for our Google calendar with the dates pre-loaded so you never miss a deadline, and join the community on Discord to keep abreast of all fun happenings.

This project literally would not be possible without the support of all our contributors and readers, so thank you for helping keep Shousetsu Bang*Bang rolling all the way into our 20th year in print!

[shousetsubangbang]

Take our theme-free year-end issue with you no matter how crappy the wifi is being! Download the ebook for free at our itch.io store or our Smashwords page. (You can also download it from other sites, but some of those will charge you and give us a tiny fraction of that money in return, so ... why bother?)

And if you do download it, take a couple seconds and leave us a starred review. That helps us raise our profile, raising our profile gets us new readers, new readers gets us new contributors, and new contributors get you bigger and sexier issues full of more steamy queer stories and art! It's a win-win situation for everyone!

As always, thank you for all the reblogs, shares, comments, and other signal boosts that help keep this project going!

Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 112: Theme Free

cover by Swedishjazz

~*~

Shades of Purple, by Togi Kayako (土宜草子)

Nothing They Can Do About It, by Kit Miller

Of Figures and Fingering Things Out, by Greta Jia-Kang Cabrel

Chain Reactions, by juou no zan (女王のザン)

in a hallway, somewhere, by sen no akumu (先の悪夢)

Your Head, Your Neck, My Hands, by Sylla C.

Altare Sacrificiorum Columbarum, by Iron Eater*

*illustrated

–

Rosebuds, by lonelytuatara

Nice n’ Naughty, by yabamena

~*~

It’s been one of those years … pass the SSBB!

Welcome to our sixth and final issue of 2024, our theme-free big bang! All wrapped up and tied in a (metaphorical) bow, we’ve got a batch of stories and art guaranteed to heat up your nights no matter what the temperature outside may be. All queer, all smutty, and all absolutely free!

We here at SSBB are eternally grateful that in the age of commercial flashiness and computer-generated garbage, you’ve chosen to spend your holiday season with our long-running indie webzine. Everything in our pages is created by people who love what we’re doing so much, we just have to share! Please enjoy all our small-batch artisanal dick-touching (to say nothing of other body parts!), handcrafted with love especially for you.

Please help us keep SSBB going by spreading the word on social media (particularly Bluesky, Mastodon, and Tumblr), writing comments of encouragement for the creators, leaving reviews on our ebooks (at Smashwords and itch.io), and becoming one of our authors and/or artists! We’d love to welcome you — or welcome you back — to the project.

2025 will be our 20th year in print (can you believe it?), so check out what’s coming, add the dates and reminders to your Google calendar, and join the community on Discord to keep abreast of all fun happenings.

Thank you all again for helping make this project a reality. Best wishes for the end of the year, and we’ll see you in 2025!

[shousetsubangbang]

Signups are now open for the February 24 issue; the text deadline for the issue is Tuesday, February 11 and the art deadline is Saturday, February 22.

Please reply to this post if you plan to submit a story or artwork for this issue, indicating whether you are interested in contributing to the issue as an author and/or artist, and whether or not you are looking for a collaborative partner. As always, you don’t have to sign up to participate, and you’re not creating an unbreakable contract by signing up, but it’s always a good idea!

This issue’s theme is Nine to Five: Looking to make a work spouse your real spouse? Clock in on time for our office-romance-themed February issue!

Quick Answers: Interested in participating but don’t know where to start? Bring your quick questions here!

Submission Guidelines for Fiction: All the specifics for text submissions. READ BEFORE SUBMITTING.

Submission Guidelines for Art: Whether you’re illustrating or submitting a standalone piece, here’s what you need to know.

Find the Shousetsu Bang*Bang community on Discord! Join us on our very own server for discussions, inspiration, shop talk, silliness, and other behind-the-scenes fun.

For related nonsense, announcements, and various goings-on, find us at our main website, Mastodon, cohost, Plurk, and Tumblr. (Other accounts in less-used places include Reddit, DeviantArt, Archive of Our Own, and Goodreads!) We have pages at Smashwords and Itch.io where you can download ebook versions of past issues for free.

Receive reminders and deadlines by email by signing up for our newsletter! We promise: no spam, only porn.

To make sure you don’t miss a single deadline, click here for our Google calendar with the dates pre-loaded.

[shousetsubangbang]

by juou no zan

-

The part that rankled Radek the most was how he was going to have to ask the Academy doctor for emergency contraception. Radek had always prided himself on being prepared for his endeavors, even after he stopped working as a mercenary and became a teacher. Yet he had been incorrect in his assumption he would have time to secure contraception before any sexual activity.

After Radek reported to Headmaster Ilgi what had happened on his class’s field trip and how he dealt with the matter, he went directly to the infirmary.

Thankfully Professor Kaezo, who functioned as the doctor as well as the healing specialist, was in. He looked up when Radek entered and laid his book down upon his desk. “Ah,” Kaezo said, “you’re back. How did it go? You look well, so I trust your training exercise went smoothly.”

“Not entirely,” Radek said. He closed the infirmary door behind him. “We ran into a small patch of Midnight Flower and one of my students fell right into them.” Radek had had an entire career as a mercenary, and he had never once run into Midnight Flower in person. Not that he especially wanted to fuck any of the obnoxious incompetents that had been his colleagues then, but at least they’d all been adults.

“Oh, gods,” Kaezo said, bringing a hand up to his mouth. “I assume they’re all right?”

Midnight Flower, also known as Love’s Thorn, though probably best known by its vulgar name of fuckweed, was a magical plant. It was incredibly powerful and potentially deadly. It posed little threat to people who weren’t traveling alone, since all someone had to do to dispel the effect was have sex, but there were a few cases every year where a missing person was found in some out-of-the-way place with mutilated genitals from trying to satisfy their magically unsatisfiable lust, or a rapist was pardoned because they could prove they’d been exposed to fuckweed and hadn’t been in their right mind.

“I would not let one of my students die,” Radek said dryly. He didn’t think Kaezo really meant to suggest that, even if his words implied it. “However, it does mean I need something in the way of contraception.”

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 112: Theme Free

cover by Swedishjazz

~*~

Shades of Purple, by Togi Kayako (土宜草子)

Nothing They Can Do About It, by Kit Miller

Of Figures and Fingering Things Out, by Greta Jia-Kang Cabrel

Chain Reactions, by juou no zan (女王のザン)

in a hallway, somewhere, by sen no akumu (先の悪夢)

Your Head, Your Neck, My Hands, by Sylla C.

Altare Sacrificiorum Columbarum, by Iron Eater*

*illustrated

–

Rosebuds, by lonelytuatara

Nice n’ Naughty, by yabamena

~*~

It’s been one of those years … pass the SSBB!

Welcome to our sixth and final issue of 2024, our theme-free big bang! All wrapped up and tied in a (metaphorical) bow, we’ve got a batch of stories and art guaranteed to heat up your nights no matter what the temperature outside may be. All queer, all smutty, and all absolutely free!

We here at SSBB are eternally grateful that in the age of commercial flashiness and computer-generated garbage, you’ve chosen to spend your holiday season with our long-running indie webzine. Everything in our pages is created by people who love what we’re doing so much, we just have to share! Please enjoy all our small-batch artisanal dick-touching (to say nothing of other body parts!), handcrafted with love especially for you.

Please help us keep SSBB going by spreading the word on social media (particularly Bluesky, Mastodon, and Tumblr), writing comments of encouragement for the creators, leaving reviews on our ebooks (at Smashwords and itch.io), and becoming one of our authors and/or artists! We’d love to welcome you — or welcome you back — to the project.

2025 will be our 20th year in print (can you believe it?), so check out what’s coming, add the dates and reminders to your Google calendar, and join the community on Discord to keep abreast of all fun happenings.

Thank you all again for helping make this project a reality. Best wishes for the end of the year, and we’ll see you in 2025!

[shousetsubangbang]

by yabamena

-

See this image in context in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

by lonelytuatara

-

See the rest of this comic in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

by Iron Eater

-

The pursuit of medical science was an inglorious thing, dealing from challenges in all directions: to the layman, it was a morass of gore and suffering more akin to butcher’s work than healing; to the tradition-minded, it sneered at generations of curated knowledge in the name of its own ghastly glories; and even to other students of reason it was a battleground of competing ideas, procedures, and personalities, all seeking to hold up their own theories as a thing worthy of respect by their peers. Unusual conditions increased the challenges tenfold. For a man like Hugh Wainwright, whose own condition well strained the boundaries of the word unusual, there was even less on the books, and so it was with the utmost concern for his similarly exceptional kin that he volunteered his time, observations, and flesh, to say nothing of the reams of less exciting data he tracked from day to day. Hugh took keeping regular meal records as seriously as he did his lectures and his hunting. It was the least he could do for those who shared his nature but not his bloodlust, and if upholding that purpose meant scheduling the odd spot of extracurriculars in the evenings, so be it.

One such evening found him seated in a padded chair in his basement workshop, bathed in the fiery orange light of said workshop’s hearth as it blazed against the subterranean dark and glinted, wide and wolf-like, where it caught his eyes. He was practically in shirtsleeves; the outfit he’d worn downstairs was already reserved by his tastes, lacking much of the rich fabrics and ruffles he preferred in his everyday attire, and his handsome blouse was unfastened so that it fell away from his shoulders and bared his gnarled, pale chest to the room. Fancy clothing was necessary for concealing more than his own modesty, of course! The exposed identification plate about his throat—an important marker for things such as he, as it proved he was accounted for in the records of the nameless society for which he toiled—shone like a gilded lavaliere. Had he been receiving outside company he would have looked quite indecent. Most fortunately for Hugh, the only company he kept that day was of an equally scientific mind.

Mr. Ward, the aforementioned company, was a bespectacled man of unassuming shape and size who, nevertheless, could easily fill the room with sheer presence alone. He plucked up the glass tube Hugh had been holding beneath his tongue and read the numbers on the side, recording them in a notebook next to similar entries for Hugh’s height, weight, pulse, and the results of some simple blood testing. “Slightly warm from the fire,” he said as he wiped off the tube before returning it to a tray of instruments, “but your temperature falls within the expected range we’ve determined for you. The rest of your numbers are equally satisfactory. I believe we can formally state that you are in good health, Mr. Wainwright.”

Hugh wiggled his shoulders. “Always a fine thing to hear I am officially well, Mr. Ward,” he replied, cheerily. “You do take such good care of me.”

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

by Sylla C.

-

Darkness sits in the meadow and cradles her Sun close enough to her skin to feel her burn. Fire coils around her wrist. Stars die above them in their own fragmented eternity, and flowers bloom, painting the meadow with their patient life, as she sets the last stitch. Dark twine curls its way through sickle-pale skin, thorny vine burrowing deeper into her beloved’s flesh. She sinks lower still to touch her lips against the pale sea-shell ear, teeth worrying the twine until she can bite it off clearly, close enough to Sun’s skin to have blisters form on Cupid’s bow. Her beloved laughs. Shadows flee from honeyed sound.

“Don’t you think you worry too much?”

Darkness hums and watches her kiss drench Sun’s skin until it darkens, less moonshine and more candlelight in her unwavering presence again.

“Do I worry?”

Sun laughs again, as if she, too, cannot get enough of it. “Your teeth do.”

That, she cannot deny. Darkness lets herself echo Sun’s laughter as she picks at the stitches with sharp fingernails until she can no longer draw blood from her beloved. Every drop she licks up until she is sated, her lips dark red against night-sky skin. She tilts Sun’s head back until their eyes can meet, Sun’s lonely one blazing brightly until Darkness’ moon eye reflects her light back at her.

“Look at you,” Sun croons, and Darkness yearns to be blessed with her beloved’s eye once more, yearns to fit it neatly into the hollow of her socket carved out by her own hand. “How beautiful you’ve made yourself for me.” Her cheek fits into a hand made to hold her. Blood, syrup-thick, still trickles onto Darkness’ lap, each drop wax-hot, another splash adding to delirious desire. Darkness’ tongue draws past her own lips.

“Let me have you,” she whispers. The meadow swallows her need. Sun smiles at her, summer-bright and just as ancient.

“Please.”

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

by sen no akumu

-

Two hours before the wedding, Erhart sneaks off to fuck his guard.

He doesn’t even like Siegfried much; the man is big, boorish, dull. He only ever trains, spending hours each day working the sword and the bow and the spear, bullishly instructing the few other soldiers who went with them on how to best somebody looking to gut them like pigs. All there is to him is fat and muscle: large hands and a strong stomach and wide thighs and the most hideous beard that Erhart has ever seen. It’s as dark as the night, unlike his graying hair swept into the long braid that swings behind his back, and Erhart pulls on that stupid beard every time they have sex, gleefully trying to tear the dratted thing out at the roots, but it only ever seems to spur Sieg on.

Only ever seems to make his grin wider, and his eyes sparkle, and then Erhart is lost once more to the pleasure of that perfect thrust of Sieg’s proportionally big cock.

And Sieg is twice Erhart’s age, too: a relic of the system of knighthood that once existed in Erhart’s lands. Erhart remembers watching him in an exhibition match as a child, remembers being awed by the might of Sieg’s every movement, how fast he was despite his great size. Remembers the rush of bright excitement and gleeful joy when Sieg waved and bowed theatrically at the audience and tiny little Erhart pretended it was just for him.

Fuck, but he was a delusional child.

And now Sieg’s nothing but an aging guard for a minor noble, kept on retainer for his past glory and without prospects, on loan to Erhart’s cohort for the duration of this months’ long journey through the chilled, icy lands, where it’s freezing even inside the fortresses, despite the dozens of torches that burn bright on every wall, flames crackling, casting long, distorted shadows before them as they pass.

Erhart doesn’t know where the windows are open, letting in those dratted ice-cold winds that won’t leave his cheeks alone even when he’s got his scarf tucked high over his face—and he very much doesn’t, at the moment—but he curses those that descended to such abject villainy. Curses them most ardently.

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

by juou no zan

-

The part that rankled Radek the most was how he was going to have to ask the Academy doctor for emergency contraception. Radek had always prided himself on being prepared for his endeavors, even after he stopped working as a mercenary and became a teacher. Yet he had been incorrect in his assumption he would have time to secure contraception before any sexual activity.

After Radek reported to Headmaster Ilgi what had happened on his class’s field trip and how he dealt with the matter, he went directly to the infirmary.

Thankfully Professor Kaezo, who functioned as the doctor as well as the healing specialist, was in. He looked up when Radek entered and laid his book down upon his desk. “Ah,” Kaezo said, “you’re back. How did it go? You look well, so I trust your training exercise went smoothly.”

“Not entirely,” Radek said. He closed the infirmary door behind him. “We ran into a small patch of Midnight Flower and one of my students fell right into them.” Radek had had an entire career as a mercenary, and he had never once run into Midnight Flower in person. Not that he especially wanted to fuck any of the obnoxious incompetents that had been his colleagues then, but at least they’d all been adults.

“Oh, gods,” Kaezo said, bringing a hand up to his mouth. “I assume they’re all right?”

Midnight Flower, also known as Love’s Thorn, though probably best known by its vulgar name of fuckweed, was a magical plant. It was incredibly powerful and potentially deadly. It posed little threat to people who weren’t traveling alone, since all someone had to do to dispel the effect was have sex, but there were a few cases every year where a missing person was found in some out-of-the-way place with mutilated genitals from trying to satisfy their magically unsatisfiable lust, or a rapist was pardoned because they could prove they’d been exposed to fuckweed and hadn’t been in their right mind.

“I would not let one of my students die,” Radek said dryly. He didn’t think Kaezo really meant to suggest that, even if his words implied it. “However, it does mean I need something in the way of contraception.”

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

by Greta Jia-Kang Cabrel 

-

“The answer is no,” Hongyu said, her voice ringing out over the post-rehearsal hubbub. She internally winced as everyone else in the early music consort turned toward her to see what was the matter. “It was no last year and the year before, and it’ll be no the next thirty times you ask. So stop asking.”

“A true artist never gives up on his vision,” Jeremy intoned, “and my vision is you on stage in this gown. You’d look soooo fabulous in it!” He brandished his tablet, its screen displaying a mood board. “It wouldn’t even cost you anything! You know I’d be willing to pay for—”

“No,” Hongyu snapped. “For fuck’s sake, if you have that kind of money to waste, go spend it on some conservatory kiddos. I saw at least three in last week’s showcase whose outfits made me cringe.”

“Do I look like Papa Noel to you?” Jeremy demanded. “I don’t in fact have any cash to spare. But if getting my credit card limit raised is what it takes to get you in red, so be it.”

“Oh, buddy.” The flute player gazed at Jeremy with pity. “Your fairy fashion godmother game seriously needs work. That totally crossed the line from ‘keen’ to ‘stupid desperate.’”

“Yeah,” one of the cornettists echoed. “I wouldn’t touch anything you picked if I heard that, and I’m not the one allergic to all things scarlet and cramoisie.”

“Why are you all acting like I’m the unreasonable one?” Jeremy protested. “I just want to make our girl look good!”

“Nice to hear I don’t look good the rest of the time,” Hongyu icily said.

“I didn’t mean it that way, and you know it,” Jeremy huffed. “You wouldn’t be dunking on baby soloist fashion crimes if you didn’t have a sense of style.” 

Hongyu grimaced. “That wasn’t cool of me, saying that here. What I ought to do is talk to the dean—figure out how to help those kids dress better without being creepy or officious.”

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.

[shousetsubangbang]

by Kit Miller

-

‘Oh, that’s lovely, congratulations,’ Sebastian says after a brief, shocked pause. What he really wants to say is Are you fucking kidding me?

Millie, his younger sister, is laughing at the other end of the line. ‘Thank you!’

‘When did he ask you?’ he asks, resting his forehead against the windowpane in despair, watching autumn leaves twirl as they fall. How is the world so unfair?

‘Just the other day. He did the whole thing – fancy dinner, down on one knee, diamond ring.’ She sighs dreamily. 

‘That’s wonderful,’ he gets out. God, he’s choking on envy. ‘Do you already have plans for the wedding?’

He immediately wishes he hadn’t asked, as Millie launches into the very extensive plans she indeed has for the wedding. From the venue to the menu, she apparently has it all laid out already. And the proposal has only been three days ago, Christ.

He lets her talk and putters about his flat. Occasionally, he asks a question or makes a comment if required, but he mostly tunes her out. After an hour of incessant wedding chatter, though, he is seriously considering ringing his own doorbell to have an excuse to hang up on her, but then, someone else mercifully calls her, and they say their goodbyes.

It isn’t that he wants the same wedding Millie is planning, or even one a fraction as opulent. It isn’t even that he isn’t genuinely happy for her. He is. She’s always dreamed of a white wedding, and her boyfriend – fiancé, now – is a great guy. They have a true, equal partnership, and make an unstoppable team. Everyone in the family has known he would propose sooner or later, and has just been waiting for him to gather up his courage.

Sebastian falls down on his sofa and throws one arm over his face. Fuck. That’s ruined his whole day. Sebastian has always been the odd one out in his family. He’s the only son, the only one who’s queer, and the only one who’s gone into the arts and not the sciences. His parents are both pharmacists, and his three sisters likewise all have careers in STEM.

It gnaws on him, like a persistent rat, that now, he’s the only one to not have got hitched yet, too. 

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Read the rest of this story in the full issue: Issue 112: Theme Free.