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bloomyforest · 1 year ago

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Ranking the tma entities based on how well I could deal with them (in a fight)

(this will be the begining of my personal TMA entity lists)

The Dark : It's just darkness!? What's it gonna do, blind me to death? I'm already almost blind. It's boring as hell, and yeah yeah monsters that lurck in the shadows ooo~ but nah they can't get me! I've mastered the art of threatening, and or flirting with, the shadowy figures in the dark. I may not be physically that competent in a fight, but I have fait in my weird fight flight fawn reaction!

Short answer: I would go full Shaniac mode and bully the hecc out of it.

2. The Lonely: Once again, I do not fear it at all, but it would be boring after a while- I am generally the type of person that doesn't need people to survive, but enjoy the company of people when they are there. I don't think I'm a good target for this entity, and I could definitely beat the Lukas family in a fist fight! Or I could just start infodumping on them, that should also make them uncomfy enough to retreat.

Short answer: I can take em'

3. The Vast: The one entity that's just perks no negatives, in my opinion. This is the point of the list where I am unsure if joining would be a win or a loss... I may be able to break some of Vast Granpa's crusty bones, but if I'm yeeted into the sky, I will just enjoy it. So basically, I love every part of the vast's deal, but is joining forces with the combattant concidered a loss, win or draw???

Short answer: mrgg I want to be in skyy, but must fight ittt.

4. The Buried: Once again, I would probably have a hard time not just becoming a part of it. I sometimes want to just be buried in the ground, and if possible, not breathing. I think this may just let me go after I start dozing off in the coffin instead of screaming in terror, I think I could bore this entity to submission. If I have to fight an avatar, I may be screwed, they are probably STRONK, grave digging, cave crawling, those are physically challenging stuff- I will admit that this battle could end either way, so I'll make it a draw.

Short answer: A nice place to rest, but probably stronk avatars.

5/6. The End & The Extinction: (I'm putting these two together because it would have similar results) They are both inevitable, so I doubt there is much point fighting them. I don't fear death, but I don't want to die right now, it's more like an inconvenience. So, do I believe I can fight The End? Not really, but I think I can handle it well so that's why it's so high up. Can I fight The Extinction? More plausible- probably not but what's the harm in trying, if I fail it's just the end of the world and after that there's nothing, that's not that bad :D

Short answer: In the end, it doesn't even matter ~ (I'll still try tho)

7. The Stranger: I wondered if I should put this higher or lower because I don't fear it, and I am actually pretty endeared by this one. But I realised that even though the actions of being a part of the stranger sounds alright, being a victim would be a bit of a pain- I don't think it could get to me, nor do I believe I am their targeted audience (so to speak) but if they did want to feed on me, it would probably be a bother. I do think I could win this, but I would also be tempted to go full avatar- and with the stranger, I don't think that's a win.

Short answer: A pain in the butt, but can probably win?

8. The Eye: At first I thought it would be an easy fight, but then I realised that I might actually be an easy victim. I have no fear of being stalked or watched, but I am terrified of not knowing all I should know (school anxiety, but even in non academic subjects). So, if the eye uses strategies, it could probably atleast put me in a stand off, but all these scenarios, I know I'm supposed to fight them and I tend to do a lot better when I want to win. I imagine it could end with an eternal staring contest (I have had staring contests with the sun, I could probably do an eldritch manifistation of a fear too >:]) I do know I can fight Jonah Magnus in one on one combat and win tho!

Short answer: Play our cards well and I will pipe murder the pipe murderer himself >:3 Play it badly and I will have a panic attack.

9. The Spiral: (unsure if it should be before or after hunt tbh) It doesn't scare me per say, it's more that I know I am a prime example of someone the spiral would feed off- (✨mentally ill✨) I already have troubles trusting my own mind and I'm unsure if it'd kill me or if I'd become one with the chaos of the spiral. I find comfort knowing that the chaos is just there and a part of existing, so being avatar-ed would be nice, but being a victim could probably be really bad for me. The Dr. David episode is a good example, as it's one of the few episodes that actually affected me. If I was his victim, I would be a sobbing mess, or just completely shut off nontheless not well.

Short answer: Could I win? heh probably not! But it's not the worst fate for me, I guess.

10. The Hunt: I'll just get this out of the way, no I could not win over the concept of being the hunter and the prey. But I could definitely try to run and hide.. Shit mildly scares me, not so much the pack mentality and violence/killing part, more just the use of wild animals. I don't want to be hunted by animals, they are freaky- I would sprint away and hide, so maybe I could hide until they get bored of me and move on?

Short answer: No. but I can try to hide

11. The Slaughter: Short answer; Fuck no, there is a reason for the saying "there is no winner in war". I would like to not engage in a one way ticket to being brutally murdered, thank you very much.

12. The Desolation: I have some trauma about human skin melting, so concidering that I flich every time someone turns on a lighter, I could not win this one. The desolation also focuses on making you painfully loose everyone/thing you care about, and I have a bit of a protectors complex, so that would also sting. But hey! Atleast they're hot ;3

Short answer: They would beat me to a burnt pulp. (I'll die as I lived, a gay mess)

13. The Flesh: First off, I would be a victim off the whole "feeding off personal body hatred and shit" thingy they have going on. I hate having a mortal flesh body so so much, it has genuinely made me cry before. Also I dislike gore, I just think it's gross and that's really all there is to it- I am also afraid of raw meat, but the reasoning behind said fear would feed the corruption and not the flesh, I think? The entities do work together, so I could be feeding both.

Conclusion: Flesh 1, Me 0

14. The Corruption: This is just a term for all my biggest fears :D As I hinted to, I don't fear raw meat because "eww blood, death aaa-" no, I fear it because of the germs. I have cried over the sight of mold, I used to hold my breath around wild fungi, and I refused to enter buildings that existed during the plague in fear that it could still be infected. Just the thought of being near anything from the Corruption would make me a sobbing mess on the floor, and it has done so before. 10 year old me once said "I'd rather kill myself than letting [insert horrifying disease I was talking about] kill me", I don't fully agree with this anymore but it's a good example of how irrational this phobia is. I don't mind insects though, as long as they don't crawl or goes inside me-

Short answer: It wouldn't even be a fight, I would just die.

(have fun psychoanalyzing this if ya want ^^)

#tma #the magnus archives #dread powers #magnus pod #podcast

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waltwhitmansbeard · 2 years ago

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hiiiii, i'm fairly new to CR (it saved my life during the pandemic!!1) and i'm pretty much caught up with everything but my love for vaxleth is off the charts and it's both a blessing and a curse: i love everything about them but there's fewer fics about them than i thought they ought to have. i have gone through ao3 these past few months and read a lot and also saved some for later (including yours!! i want to save it for a cozy day where i need a pick me up). having said all of that i was wondering if you have any recs (preferably of the longer type but ok if not) not just in ao3 but anywhere else as well? and preferably happy endings and some smooching n stuff bc wooooooof. these two got so much angst (i do also love it tho). any smut rec is welcome as well!! AND!!! ALSO!! do you think there's any chance this last ep can reignite the flame so to speak so we can all get more and more fics bc honestly?? i'm obssessed and they deserve it. epic love needs eternal retelling.

well hello! first i wanna say welcome to the fandom, we're all pretty nice but completely feral so watch where you put your hands bc we like to gnaw on things. (i say this like i am not also very new to the fandom; i just looked it up earlier today and my 1-year anniversary is at the end of may.)

when it comes to fic recs, i actually have to admit that i don't read a ton of fics myself (i don't have time, lol). i'll start by saying reading @romeoandjulietyouwish's au posts and drabbles is what got me back into writing fanfiction for the first time since i was a teenager, so i definitely recommend checking her stuff out. @blorbologist is, in my humble opinion, the foremost perc'ahlia expert of the fandom, if that ship also floats your boat. i have started reading her extremely famous one for joy but as i said, i really do not have a lot of time to read these days so i am extremely behind. my friend @ravendruid has recently started dipping her toes into the fic-writing realm, and i've been really loving watching her style develop as she goes, and my irl best friend and platonic life partner @runforyourshield is writing a vaxleth summer camp au called camp cloudtop you should check out! other recs you can find on my blog under the tag #fic rec. also just generally we tend to rb each other a lot so just stalk all of those blogs and you'll find some good stuff.

on ao3, i actually just today read a little three-part vaxleth happy ending style fic called with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair that i really enjoyed, and i've started reading this incredible fic called Heaven Couldn't Shake that AGAIN i started reading and then stopped having time for (!!!!!!!!!!!! i am busy!!!!!!! i am sorry!!!!!) but it is really good and i highly recommend the one chapter that i have read lol.

as for smut, to be perfectly honest, there is a dearth of smut in the vaxleth fandom, and like, i get it, it is extremely common to headcanon keyleth as ace or demisexual, and i don't have a problem with that headcanon at all. but me personally, while i also hc her as demi, i absolutely believe she and vax have fucking incredible sex and i wish i could read more of it (*eyebrow waggle* keep your eyes on the mfl space for future one-shots, jussayin). my recommendation there is to go the keyleth/vax tag on ao3 and filter by E, tbh. (also, don't sleep on vaxlethmore, bc those fics are *chef's kiss*)

(also this isn't vaxleth and idk if you've seen c2 or not but truly one of the hottest fucking fics i have read in my life—and friendo i have read a lot—is this shadowgast fic that truly gave me a nicotine addiction, bc wow)

will c3e51 reignite the fandom's fire for vaxleth? i mean, i can hope so, tho tbh, i'm keeping my hopes low. i know that, generally speaking, more people care for perc'ahlia than vaxleth (which was truly the wildest thing for me to find out when i started interacting w the fandom at large, i assumed everyone would be as fucking feral for vaxleth as i was), so i don't imagine there's gonna be a ton of new people writing them, but hey, maybe the episode will spur some people who haven't watched c1 to go watch, and they'll be the new generation of vaxleth shippers (again, me talking like i'm not the new generation of vaxleth shippers).

i hope i answered all of your questions, and thanks for being part of this community! i hope you find what you're looking for.

#ask #worshippin #critical role

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shijiujun · 3 years ago

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on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

===

🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not.

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free.

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

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🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

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🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever.

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you.

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument.

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect.

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively.

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal�� work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault?

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

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🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

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🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly!

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

===

🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”.

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

================

🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for?

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation.

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone.

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#danmei #danmei twitter #rambles #long post #literally cannot take the stupidity of some people anymore

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sir-yeehaw-paws · 2 years ago

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ivy, taro, camellia

About Me Asks

Howdy Hi~!

Ivy: what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

I laugh a lot when I'm happy. (I have a loud, probably very annoying laugh), I'm very quiet and short tempered when I'm angry, and if I'm upset or tired I'm clumsier, more confused and spaced out more often. My mum usually can tell when I'm 'hangry' *My levels tank HARD* because I tend to start crying if I'm too hungry and can't explain why.

Taro: if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

Depending on who they were I'd probably want to come out to them. Offline I'm still largely closeted on being trans, so the more people I'm able to tell, and catch up with, always takes some pressure away. When I can, of course. I don't push things andgetscaredtoofast.

Camellia: what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

I could be pretty immature when I was younger. My teen years were bracketed with difficulties in being undiagnosed, taking care of my dying grandfather and trying not to fail my classes and help my mum pay bills. I sought escapism wherever possible, and could be horribly cringey online. I used to post in forums (I'm old guys) and would speak in all caps with four to five page long bios and terrible images. Nothing dramatic honestly, but stuff that makes me feel very shallow and conflicted upon looking back on it. I do believe I've changed quite a bit in this regard.

I've learned a lot. I also think my general interests have 'cemented' better you could say and I make much more genuine friendships nowadays. I still have some friends from that time! Some that are family now, after 15-16 years, and I'm grateful for it.

I care a lot less too about things like arguments, and engaging in what doesn't appeal to me. I have no patience for what doesn't let me escape, and I want people to see me as sincere. I enjoy talking to people and care more about what I get happiness from, vs clinging to things that might be vaguely appealing just so I won't have to think.

I can't say I'm much wiser tho, ;) I'm still pretty dumb at times, I just care a lot less about that fact.

Thank you for sending in!

#answered asks #ask games #about me asks #asks

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iloveyoutotype-moonandback · 3 years ago

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CW: gore, abuse and rape mentions.

So I recently played the original Tsukihime visual novel (it’s being remade so I might as well check out the original right?) and I wanted to talk about some of my general impressions and thoughts on it.

TL;DR for people who don’t wanna read any spoilers (or if you just don’t wanna read through my long-ass post): I thought it was good and there were lot of aspects and themes that I found interesting. I did have problems with certain aspects of it however, and I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone since it’s really violent and...well just see the CW for yourself. But if none of that deters you, then I think it’s worth checking out!

So, like I said above the cut, I enjoyed it overall. The story was interesting, with the focus being on vampires and some more information on the church for example (fate tends to focus more on the grail war, so other aspects of the Nasuverse are inevitably glossed over or not mentioned at all). This also had a psychological horror aspect, with Shiki having dreams where he kills people just to give one example. But then there are certain indications that what he’s seeing is real, leading him to believe that he could be unconsciously killing people. And he doesn’t WANT to see these dreams, he actually hates them to the point that there are a few scenes where he straight up avoids going to sleep altogether. The problem is that he has no idea how to stop seeing them, or even what’s happening to him. Also other characters often hide stuff from him or lie for his “protection”, so that really only adds to the uncertainty (this dude kinda gets gaslit a lot, come to think of it).

I remember seeing some people say that the artwork for this vn isn’t as good as what you get in fsn, which makes sense given that it’s older and thus earlier in Takeuchi’s art career. And I can see what they mean, but there’s legit some good CG’s in this one. Also it does this interesting thing where instead of drawn backgrounds, it has real life pictures that have been edited/stylized. I can’t quite articulate it, but it gives the vn a different vibe that really works for it imo. I like it.

In terms of characters, I gotta say that Hisui was one of my favorites. I guess I just kinda relate to her in a weird way. She’s quiet, isn’t super expressive (or at least it seems that way initially), and doesn’t like being touched. I used to be like that (I’m still like that sometimes but I’ve gotten a lot better), though obviously she has....very different reasons for being that way. But at that point my brain had already gone “that one” with her.

Speaking of Hisui, I really like Kohaku too. If we’re comparing Nasu’s works here, I feel like she’s kind of comparable to Sakura. Mostly in a thematic sense, seeing as how she’s someone who appears normal enough but there’s a lot brewing beneath the surface that we don’t fully see until her route (and by that I mean she suffered sexual abuse from Shiki and Akiha’s father when she was a child). I don’t want to compare them too much tho, since they are different characters at the end of the day. It’s just something of a common thread I noticed. Though with Kohaku, you do actually get a glimpse into what her deal is in Hisui’s route (mainly in the epilogue), which then leads right into Kohaku’s route.

Outside of the two maids, Arcueid was another favorite of mine (if Hisui is my favorite, I’d say Arc is a close second) because she looks elegant at first but then you realize she’s a fuckin dork the moment she opens her mouth (and I love her for it). Ciel was cool too, and it was interesting to have a member of the church who’s more sympathetic than Kirei Ketamine over there (though as her route reveals, the church is still kinda fucked). I liked Akiha as well. It was really interesting seeing her develop across the 3 “far side of the moon” routes. At first you think she’s normal then op, turns out she’s part vampire and is actually pretty fucking powerful! That said, I did have a few problems with her route...

...which leads me into one of my criticisms of this vn. Akiha’s route was my least favorite out of the 5. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, it is not because of Akiha herself. Akiha good and cool. The issue here is Akiha and Shiki...basically fall in love and also fuck at one point. Did I mention that Akiha is Shiki’s little sister? Because she is. “Well Shiki was adopted so it’s not technically incest” don’t make me tap the sign:

Like yeah, I know “romance happens between Shiki and the main heroin of the route” is a common thread here but I’d like it if they made just one exception. Sibling relationships are good too, you don’t need to resort to romance.

And, well, now that it’s been brought up already: this vn has sex scenes! And they were just as bad as I expected! I did read through one or two, but after that I just started either skimming through them or skipping entirely. A lot of them don’t really effect the story much (except for like, one which is actually kinda important) so most of them aren’t really worth it unless you just want to laugh at the weird lines. Not a big deal but I felt like it was worth mentioning at least.

Moving on, Tsukihime did have some problematic elements outside of the whole incest thing. Fate/Stay Night had its own issues and obviously Tsukihime will have them too. Tbf to Nasu, he did say he later regretted some of the stuff he wrote in this early period. It’s good that he’s grown as a person and a writer, because looking back there are definitely a few lines here that are really fucking bad. One that stuck out to me was this line from Arcueid’s route where Shiki is arguing with Ciel and then he just suddenly says something along the lines of, “if you try to stop me from going, I’ll rape you right here”. It’s right the fuck out of nowhere too. And like, the reasoning was that he could barely walk at that point so he just came up with some super threatening thing to say, but it was just really unnecessary.

Actually, I think the same could be said about some of the sexual violence depicted. Like, there’s a whole recurring thing where Shiki will just suddenly get possessed to murder someone (because his vampire step-brother basically lives in his mind rent-free) and he mentions the arousal he gets from doing so. At several points he even acts on these impulses, and winds up getting hard and cumming as he cuts someone up into pieces. It’s...really fucking weird and I’m not sure what it adds by being there. It adds a creep factor for sure, but ig it’s a question of how necessary it actually is. Some of it is integral to the story, as is the case with...certain aspects of the Arcueid and Kohaku routes for example. So don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying remove it entirely, I’m just questioning some of the extra stuff that doesn’t seem totally necessary to me.

So all in all, while I did have some problems with it, Tsukihime isn’t bad by any means. Like I said before, I think it was good overall and I enjoyed it. You can acknowledge the problematic elements of something, but still otherwise like it. But yeah, certainly not for everyone, but still worth playing in 2021 I think.

#tsukihime #nasuverse #type-moon #also i didn't mention it but #this vn came out the same year i was born #so that's neat #this game is only 4 months younger than me #tsukihime is in college #long post

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coollyinterferes · 3 years ago

Text

Character Interview || Repost, don't Reblog

NAME : Robert Edward Orville Speedwagon

NICKNAME : Boss, aniki, “bastard!”/"that son of a bitch!” (usually from rival gang members, so the insult varies sometimes lol), Rob (used by a few friends), derivatives of his last name −Speebs, Speeds, Speeb, Speedy, etc�� but these he will only accept them from certain people, otherwise he will do his best not to cringe on the spot or will do it inwardly. Uncle Speedy and etc later on (as in once George and the rest of the children come into his life, more specifically~).

AGE : 25 in the main verse (may vary depending on the verse)

SPECIES : Human/Stand user in the main/time-travel verse | Vampire in the vamp!verse | Werefox in the monster!verse

—— Personal! ♡

MORALITY : lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true .

RELIGION : Non-practising catholic (was raised as Catholic, like most other Victorians, believes in God, but that’s pretty much about it)

SINS : greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath .

VIRTUES : chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice.

KNOWN LANGUAGES : English is his first language. Conversational Spanish, Italian, French, Portuguese, German and some more. Some conversational Mandarin Chinese as well (this one thanks to Li −canonly known as Kenpo, his Ogre Street friend−) and bits of Irish (this one thanks to Tattoo, his other Ogre Street friend). He can read and understand some Japanese (kana and some okurigana/kanji) but can’t really speak or write it. Same case for some other languages that he can also recognize and more or less understand bits of them but can’t really speak them. As you probably guessed, he’s learned most of these through his many journeys around the world.

SECRETS : All of the stuff in regards to the stone mask and all the events and incidents that came out from that (it was stated that the only ones who know everything about it from start to end are Jonathan and Speedwagon, the others who might know a great deal of it would be Straizo and Master Tonpety). He also tries to keep a low profile in regards to his homosexuality whenever he’s out of the slums to save himself some trouble due to the stigma at the time and the potential legal consequences, going only for the gay codes of the time (long hair, cleanly shaven face, colorful accessories, etc) so I guess that could count? Other than that, and in the verses that it applies, his stand mayhaps?? That’s what allows him to leap through timelines in the time travel verses (it possesses other abilities and skills but, since Robert doesn’t even know about his stand’s existence yet, he hasn’t trained with it and thus he doesn’t know about any of it’s abilities, not even about the time travel oof).

—— Physical! ♡

BUILD : scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average .

HEIGHT : 5’11”, close to the 6’ mark (181 cms)

SCARS / BIRTHMARKS : The most recognizable one is the scar marring the left side of his face (going from the top of his nose to his jaw), but he has plenty more scattered all over his body, some more visible than others, some larger than others. Most of them come from fights and his general criminal lifestyle, some of them even come from some of the torture sessions he’s endured as part of that (so it isn’t surprising that they were either caused by knives, gunshots, burns, shards of glass and etc). Most of his scars are located on his chest and arms, some more on his hands/wrists and fingers (hands/wrists and fingers mainly from when he was learning to use his buzzsaw hat), though he has a few more on his legs/thighs, lower abdomen, and a couple more on his back. In the main verse (usually set in the late stages of PB), he will have a few more from the events in PB −burn scars on his hands from the fire at the Joestar mansion, one on his shoulder from the attack he received from Jack the Ripper, an ice burn across his abdomen from thawing Zeppeli’s arm, and a couple more and not so visible ones on his arms from minor injuries (cuts) he got while fighting and fending off zombies−. Most of the “PB scars” aren’t too visible thanks to Jonathan (he used his hamon to heal Speedwagon’s injuries shortly after).

ABILITIES / POWERS : He’s able to tell an evil person from a good one by their smell alone. He’s a resilient man and quite a strong one, too (stronger than the average guy, as he was shown killing zombies using his brute force only and a sledgehammer). He's good at hand to hand combat, he’s also good at using knives and guns, and at wrecking shit with a sledgehammer. I also hc that he's capable of creating veeeeeery small amounts of hamon (this as a result of Zepp's "accidental" slip) if he really puts his mind into it. Due to his current limitations with it, his hamon can’t be used for fighting, but it does enhance his healing process, making it slightly faster than that of an average human (with some proper training, chances are he might be able to do more with it, tho). His stand, in the verses where he has it, can perform time travel, which happens at random at first (he gradually gains control on his stand once he learns about it and starts training with it). Due to stands being a reflection of sorts of their user and their fighting spirit, and as an extension of Robert’s own hamon healing abilities, his stand also possesses healing abilities that can be used both on himself and on others, though this requires some training prior, as the healing relies entirely on Speedwagon’s own life force and can be fatal for him if used carelessly at first (once properly trained, it won’t represent a real danger for him to use). Much like Robert himself, his stand is also capable of packing some punches and causing serious damage on it’s opponent despite his stand being more of a “support” stand rather than a fully combat based one.

RESTRICTIONS : He's mostly a regular human in the main verse, so he’s at a great disadvantage against stronger supernatural beings such as vampires and pillarmen, for example. As stated above, the amounts of hamon he can currently create are small and, thus are difficult −almost impossible− to use for combat (again, this can change if he gets some proper training). His lack of knowledge on his stand’s existence can also count as a restriction for the time being, as he doesn’t know about it or it’s abilities and, thus, can’t use it at his will for now (it operates mostly in an “unconscious” level at first, usually after getting triggered). He also tends to wear his heart in his sleeve when it comes to the few people he truly holds dear and considers special to him, so that can be used against him if he’s not careful enough.

—— Likes / Scents! ♡

FOOD : He isn’t really picky with food since he grew up in absolute poverty and sometimes went for days without a single bite of food or eating stale (sometimes even moldy) food so like… he’s cool with pretty much anything nowadays. He’s also an adventurous man, so he’s always open to trying new and even “exotic” stuff. Other than that, pastries are one of his top fave things ever (creamy ones mainly but not exclusively).

DRINK : Tea −citrusy/fresh types mainly like lemongrass, same with berry teas−. He doesn’t mind sweeter teas but, since he usually has them with the pastries, he prefers something more “sour” to balance things out. He also likes coffee, liking it strong, kind of sweet, and hot (just how he likes his men lol). As for alcoholic drinks, he’s all for beer and gin. He also enjoys some of the sweeter ‘posh’ wines Jonathan normally has at his home.

PIZZA TOPPING : As far as I know, pizza toppings weren’t as creative and “crazy” in the 19th century as they have been over the last few decades, so he’s only used to more ‘traditional’ stuff like variants of Pizza Margherita, for example. However, in the time travel verses/modern!AUs he will definitely try all kinds of pizza toppings (yes, this includes pineapple pizza as well as entirely sweet pizza toppings and so on) and actually likes some of them.

COLOUR : Purple (shades like those of his waistcoats i.e.), pink, greeeeeeenvert, black.

MUSIC GENRE : More than a genre itself, he enjoys and appreciates music that can make him feel something. Toss some pub songs there for obvious reasons lol.

BOOK GENRE : General fiction mostly. He also enjoys reading some romance novels every now and then whenever he gets the chance to get his hands on a gay romance one, either featuring two males or two females (he doesn’t find the appeal in “traditional” ones for a variety of reasons).

MOVIE GENRE : Non-applicable in the main verse. Time travel verses −if he even gets the chance to watch a movie− and even in a modern!AU, his go to genres would probs be similar to his book genres, lol, just add some comedy there but like, not the ‘cheapest’ and cringey kind of comedy.

SEASON : Autumn and Winter (harsh winters are a pain in the ass in Ogre Street, but he can handle them fairly well overall)

CURSE WORD : Fuck / Shit / Bloody and variants of it (like Bloody Hell) / Arsehole / Wanker / Damnit / Bollocks, Ballocks and all of it’s variants / Bastard / Motherfucker / Zounderkite (victorian for “idiot” but with even harsher and ruder connotations than just using “idiot” lol) / Beardsplitter (one of the victorian words for “penis” xd). There are plenty, plenty, more but those are the ones I can think of rn. He comes from the darkest pits of the slums after all, so yeah... Lots of cussing can be expected.

SCENT ( S ) : Sweet and masculine musky scent, mainly, with an occasional subtle note of gunpowder and/or tobacco depending on whatever tf he’s been doing. Maybe a vague note of blood if he just got out of a fight. Some vague vanilla too but that one only around the time when he lands a temporary job in a bakery in London.

—— Fun Facts! ♡

BOTTOM OR TOP : Top leaning verse. He only bottoms occasionally for serious/long term boyfriends that he genuinely trusts, partly due to how being a bottom was (wrongly) perceived as being submissive by most people, and how dangerous being seen as such can be in a place like Ogre Street if the word gets out (not to mention that there’s been people there who have given him shit just for being gay), and partly because he also prefers to top and likes it better, lol.

SINGS IN THE SHOWER : Yeah. He started doing it as a child as a way to keep his mind distracted from how cold as fuck the water he’d wash himself with was (he usually bathed in rivers or washed himself with buckets of water some maid forgot outside of a household and that he managed to steal). He’s become a lot more used to cold baths over the years so a distraction is not necessary anymore, however, he still sings or hums sometimes whenever he has a song stuck in his head or if he’s particularly happy about something (this continues later on in life as well,even after cold baths are no longer part of his life, so it’s a habit that he never actually leaves).

LIKES PUNS : He loves them! Lame ones, good ones, cheesy ones, silly ones, witty ones, dirty/vulgar ones, etc. Heck, even dad jokes can be found in his repertoire! Chances are that, if you come to him with a pun or joke, he will give you one or two (maybe even more) in return.

------------------------------

Tagged by: @le-princesse-chevalier (( thank you so much for the tag!!! ♡♡ ))

Tagging: @historias-multorum @jojoingjoseph @gazelessmenagerie @usfv @featherchan @kindersturm @iiguess @storiedocs @quirofiliac @rotrioted @breatheflcra @emcraldsxchcrrics @arrhythmiiia @mechahero @voltagecrow @promiseled @joesrparchive (tagged your main but the tag applies to any and all of your muses that you might want to fill this for >:D) @rzrbite @mistymiddiana (if you’re up for it) & also tagging anyone and everyone who wants to give this a shot! Just take it and say i tagged you~ Multis and peeps with 2+ muses, feel free to do this for as many of your muses as you wish!

#;dash games #;canon #[and also]#;headcanon #[ cause there be bits of both O: ]#;scrapbook (( speedwagon - headcanons ))#;basics #[didn't tag personals since the game doesn't apply]#[but please let me know if you have ocs or smth and i will gladly tag you guys!]#[also didn't tag peeps who are on hiatus as not to clog their notifs ;v;]#;long post

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thisstableground · 4 years ago

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do you have any hcs for if usnavi's parents hadn't died? it would change him and his story a lot and I feel like it could be really interesting, how he's still him but with such different experiences. and you write him and get his character so well so you're definitely the person to ask about this kind of thing if you're up for it :) (also as a fellow brit the uk au is really really weird to me, I can't quite work out why)

(lmao ikr? i wouldn’t actually call it a uk au because i firmly do not believe it could work as a fully-fledged idea without changing way too much about a very culturally specific story in a way that has very uncomfortable implications, tho it is hilarious to briefly entertain the idea of ITH except it’s all set in fuckin milton keynes or something because Simply No Thank You)

THIS WILL BE LONG, BUCKLE UP

i think that a lot of canon usnavis traits are perhaps things he already had but that got magnified by a huge amount after losing his parents, because they could also be seen as ADHD traits; particularly the anxiety and the difficulty with making changes or starting new things. he’s still worried about messing up, about making a fool of himeslf, or just doesnt have the executive functioning to do things. but the difference is prior to losing his parents he had a lot more optimism and self-confidence to push himself past those anxieties or to find it easier to listen to his friends and family when they encourage him, because he has this certainty when he’s younger that things will turn out okay. an usnavi who never loses his parents carries that certainty into adulthood (i think even after abuela passes, because while it’s difficult and tragic for him, it isn’t deeply traumatising in the same way). so this version of usnavi still worries about failure, but the stakes are so much lower; he might embarrass himself but he has the safety net of his parents support, whereas the fear that fuels canon usnavi’s difficulty with changing things or moving forward is “what if i fuck up and lose someone else important to me again?”, where things which aren’t actually literal life-or-death tend to feel that way to him, and he’s a lot more cynical about whether things will have a positive outcome.

with his parents still alive doesn’t find it so terrifying to look into the future – “today’s all we got”, he says in the opening song, and i think he would still say that but in a way that means “live for today, live in the moment, enjoy life”. that might be the attitude he’s trying to get across in canon, but he also uses it as a way to hold himself back and keep himself stuck in place, to not let himself hope for anything in the future: in canon, he knows in a very painful way that he isn’t promised a future, and nobody he loves is promised a future, so why make plans or hypotheticals or even seriously believe that he’ll ever go back to DR? (i genuinely think there’s a subconscious part of him that’s firmly convinced he’s going to die young, but that’s a whole other tangent). he’s living in the moment because he’s scared of what he’ll see when he looks past it; usnavi with his parents still around lives in the moment because he likes the moment he’s in.

i wonder if him and vanessa would have ended up dating, or at least if they’d have been so successful and long-lasting as a couple. they’e always known each other and got on well, but i see their deeper feelings as growing out of this shared understanding between them based on the difficulties they’ve been through – would they have still had the champagne bet, if usnavi didn’t have that grief and loss and extra responsibility that drives his vague non-plans to go live in DR? would he even want to leave new york, in this version, or would he still be content with the place he grew up because it doesn’t have those painful memories?

the character arc of reconciling moving forward from a place that symbolises a painful past without having to completely sever from the good things about it is something that both of them share in canon. without those moments of both being given too many responsibilities and too much independence way too young because they don’t have parents who can ease the transition into adulthood, or this unspoken recognition that even with all their barrio family around both of them are very much on their own in some ways, would they make the deeper emotional connection that makes them work so well together in a more long-term way? or would they just have gone on a few casual dates that didn’t stand out from any other casual dates they might have with others?

and hell, maybe usnavi would’ve already been in a relationship with someone completely different – he’d be working at the store with two other people who were experienced in running it. he’d have so much more time to go out, have a social life, go to clubs and hang out with more people his own age. usnavi after losing his parents became quite disconnected from the larger group of people him and benny would hang out with at school; he doesn’t have the time, he doesn’t have the energy, and for a long time while he’s still so deep in grief i think they find it hard to know how to be friends with this quiet, broken, listless usnavi. they’re all still friendly but internally i think he loses his sense of place with his peers because he’s been rapidly catapulted into a stage of life that none of them are in. an usnavi who doesn’t lose his parents also doesn’t lose his sense of being around the same level and life stage as his peers, so who knows who he meets or develops feelings for?

his relationship with sonny is definitely different. his love and care for him isn’t so full of fear, because he doesn’t feel this need to protect him from every little thing or like it’s his personal responsibility to keep him alive, because it doesn’t really occur to him that he could lose him. canon usnavi i think has a lot more of a somewhat parental vibe, and often an overprotective parent at that. i think this usnavi, because he doesn’t have to grow up so quickly and he isn’t sonny’s boss, has much more of a fun big brother role. and i think sonny in return doesn’t feel so much responsibility for usnavi as he grows up - he doesnt feel like he has to force him to have fun or get some rest or put himself first every so often because usnavi doesnt push himself nearly so relentlessly and because his parents can look out for him when he does.

maybe sonny doesn’t start working in the bodega until much later, either – a lot of why he spends so much time there is because usnavi watches him while his mom’s at work but can’t just close the store. if his parents are there to keep working then usnavi watches sonny at one of their homes, or they go out and do more stuff. the bodega is still important to both of them but it isn’t nearly as much a main setting for sonny’s adolescence as it is in canon.

on that note, since in my version the first thing that makes usnavi hold an instant vendetta against pete is catching pete tagging the store only a few weeks after losing his parents, where his feelings are still so intense and raw. the store hasn’t reopened and so the graffiti feels like someone else making a claim on the only thing he has left of his parents. in this version he’d be annoyed to catch someone tagging the store at most but much quicker to forgive and forget. so in a world where usnavi doesn’t lose his parents, usnavi also doesn’t hate graffiti pete.

if we’re assuming that things did go roughly similar to the point of usnavi being in the club with vanessa on the night of the blackout, here’s the things that would change:

- sonny isn’t the one at the bodega, his parents are, and they’re together so usnavi doesn’t feel the same urgency to get back and check on things there when the power goes out. instead he finds vanessa and walks her home and by the time he’s back at the store, i think his mom would already be with abuela making sure she’s okay, and usnavi would focus on helping his dad make sure everything was safe and secure at the bodega

- he’s also probably still pretty drunk at this point, so there’s a chance that when everything at the store is secured he just goes straight to bed; it’s been a long night, and he’s tired, and he doesn’t have the trauma of past loss making him feel like he personally has to check every little thing himself. he trusts his parents to take care of abuela, it isn’t all on his shoulders. so they don’t have their moment together on the roof.

- whether the store gets looted in this version or not, i don’t think usnavi’s waking up at sunrise to deal with it, but even if he is then he gets up, helps his parents, is upset and annoyed but not in the same visceral, overwhelming way that he is in canon because he doesn’t have all those other long-term anxieties building up in him, he doesn’t have that pressure of his parents legacy tied up in the store when they’re still right there, he doesn’t have that conversation with vanessa where she’s hurt and betrayed that he left her in the blackout and didn’t check up on her. (sidenote this may even mean that vanessa doesn’t move downtown, because if he isnt looking for a way to make things up to her before he leaves then he might not think to speak to dani about co-signing her apartment)

- this means he probably doesn’t get overwhelmed and abandon cleanup to go visit abuela in the morning like he does in canon when we get Hundreds of Stories. he might not even be around, since he tells sonny in canon to get a generator and candles to the church and that’s probably an errand he’d do himself while his parents manned the store. this means he probably does not see abuela that one final time or have that one final meaningful conversation with her before she passes.

final sad note: in a version of events where usnavi never loses his parents, christmas is still his favourite time of year.

#in the heights #usnavi de la vega #fandom: in the heights #long post #good to know that no matter what universe i find a way to make myself so sad about usnavi #Anonymous

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moonyeclipses · 4 years ago

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Kaminari Denki hc’s I have (+ basically canon things)

Kami is an extremely affectionate person, he loves making friends and being outgoing towards everyone, and if he knows they’re comfortable he’ll be extremely touchy with them, he’s the type to just grab onto someone like hold their hands or something randomly because he just wants to, other examples are, holding Ojiro’s tail, grabbing onto Bakugo when scared (ova), that one time he put his hand on Kiri’s face to shut him up and then kept it there for a while

Kami has no set music taste! He loves every type and it just depends on how he’s feeling that day, his normal is rock and tends to lean that way but honestly he could listen to anything and enjoy it, other than Jirou he’s probably the person you’d want to go to when it comes to music! Especially if you want playlists, I could picture him being bored and then making everyone in his class + extra friends their own specialized playlist to what he thinks they’d enjoy

He’s bi! Don’t get me wrong he loves women, obviously, but he 100% isn’t opposed to dating a man either, honestly he just kinda wants love (going back to him being very affectionate)

Continuing on that he flirts with everyone, for Girls hes more straight forward like “you look nice today” etc but he’d do it with guys too, “you have the nice face a lot of girls are attracted to” “you were so cool during training today dude! You looked so badass” it’s more subtle but he genuinely means it, and to him, flirting isn’t always romantic either, it’s just, complimenting but with a bit more behind it, if he knew someone were uncomfortable by it he would stop

Speaking of “uncomfortable”, Kami May be a flirt like Mineta but he has morals, he knows consent is sexy 🥴 (JSNDNF sorry-) and the moment someone was like “hey please leave me alone” he would! And also be careful around said person until he can understand the boundaries better!

He is close with Mineta, but not as much as you may think. Kiri and Bakugo are his best friends, but he’s one of the few people who can actually handle Mineta, another being Sero, but Kami also being a flirt, and probably feeling bad if Mineta had no one at all hangs out with him a lot, and is probably the reason Mineta hasn’t pulled off worse stuff (you can tell when it’s the two acting together it isn’t bad, but Mineta alone is when he gets out of hand) (Ex: Kami and Mineta with the cheerleading uniforms, going to the pool, checking the girls out in formal wear vs. mineta climbing the wall to the girls side, peeking through the hole in the wall, almost suggesting something “topless” for girls, and saying he couldn’t wait to see Eri in 10 years) Kami is actually calming him down!

He loves thunderstorms! He can actually sense when there’s one coming just by the electricity in the air. Storms actually fire him up and make him super energized and awake, more hyper than usual. He sometimes likes to lay out on the dorm roof soaking it all in, and unless he tries to take in electricity the lightning won’t strike him

He’s a gamer, and quite a good one at that, Pokémon being his first ever videogame due to the fact a kid when he was a child pointed out he was like Pikachu. The idea that he was like a famous mascot to something made him extremely happy and immediately latched onto the game, now he genuinely enjoys it for what it is and owns every game. He does main in electric types but he loves other Pokémon as well. Mareep is actually his favorite, Pikachu jokes aside.

Despite the low grades he’s actually extremely smart! One of the smartest students in class actually, and this one is confirmed! Kami cant focus Well in class and just didn’t care too much about his grades at the beginning. After he started studying with Momo and stuff he got a set study habit and brought his grades significantly higher

I do HC that Kami has ADHD/Dyslexia, Ojiro’s tail is his current major fidget “toy” to help him focus in class

And despite the dyslexia English is his best subject! He’s one of Present Mic’s best students and secretly enjoys reading a lot, I like to think he usually listens to audiobooks because its hard to focus and read a physical book in front of him but he still tries time to time!

He’s basically as close to Bakugo as Kiri is. Kiri’s the official “equal” to Bakugo’s eyes(meaning strength and ability as well), but Kami is just as much as a FRIEND to bakugo as Kiri is, he’s not so much in the healthy rivalship they have but more so the person to hang out with both of them and- well- be friends lmao

After the concert he continued practicing guitar with Jirou. As a music lover he always wanted to play an instrument but never really thought he could do it, but he saw an opportunity to try and he took it, after realizing he’s actually pretty good at it he continued to practice with her and they have frequent jam sessions

Like how I mentioned hes very outgoing and such, he actively tries to be friends with everyone in 1-A plus a few additional people. He does take time to get to know every single person individually and hang out with them as much as he can. He doesn’t want anyone to be left out and just enjoys having people to talk to

He’s constantly letting out electricity. I like to believe that Kami is just constantly producing electricity in his body and it just keeps building up. Like when he lets out too much as one time, if he holds in too much he can basically combust with extreme power and then short circuit. So to prevent that he’s constantly letting it out, very subtly, if you were to touch him you could feel the slight buzz and the hair on your arm would rise. Another way he does it is by letting it out of his feet, like if he’s walking outside, he releasing the electricity into the ground

He 100% has a Tik Tok, no further comment

He and Mina actually do them together a lot and have tons of followers and likes, they love to film the shenanigans of the Bakusquad

As much as he complains about being a phone charger he actually doesn’t mind it for 3 major reasons (and a few others but these 3 mainly): It helps him let out electricity cause of how it stores up in his body, it gives him time to practice controlling his quirk and letting out a certain amount of wattage, and just cause he loves his friends and doing things for them and it is an easy thing for him to do

Yes he can use his mouth to charge the phones, but ✨germs✨ so he tends not to and the only times he does is when someone annoys him and he wants to get back at them so he grosses them out by sticking their phone in his mouth with the excuse “his hands were too busy”

There’s an emergency generator in the dorms because him causing the power to go out happens more often then you may think

Speaking of which he has multiple triggers on doing so: extremely overwhelmed, scared (someone jump scares him), extremely excited, holding in too much electricity for the day, sometimes it just kinda happens in his sleep (he’s gotten better at that)

He’ll take any dare during truth or dare, my man isn’t a scaredy cat

He goes clothes shopping with Jirou

He can sing! I love the idea he has a really soothing voice but doesn’t feel the need to sing openly at all, so no one knows this, Jirou might tho

He loves onesies and would live in them if he could (currently owns 4: Pikachu, Jolteon, Hamster, Otter)

He’s a Hufflepuff! 💛

Going back to his love for reading, his all time favorite series is Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus, I saw someone make a comment about how him seeing demigod kids who have ADHD and Dyslexia as well as powers as strong as his (he’s biased and loves any kid of Zeus/Jupiter, but his favorite is Leo despite that) the whole thing made him feel extremely validated and quickly became obsessed when he first read it

Those are all the ones I can think of atm, but I’ll probably add more in the future

@weebunfinishedoddle

#mha #mha denki #mha kaminari #kaminari denki #denki kaminari #my hero academia #boco no hero academia #kaminari headcanons #bnha #bnha denki #bnha kaminari #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #denki headcanons #denki kaminari headcanons

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shingia · 4 years ago

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hii baby, could i request a haikyuu male match up please? i'm 5'6, she/her, i have dark brown, kind of wavy hair that i had long for some time but recently cut it to my shoulders. i have brown eyes that prefer not to do their job right so i switch between wearing glasses and contacts! i have been training dance my whole life and volleyball for a few years too, but only recently quit and switched to working out in the gym.

i am quite ambitious and hardworking, and my dream profession is to be a neurosurgeon or to work in emergency medicine. i am a cancer, and an isfj, i am the mom friend of my group. i am generally a calm and quiet person and i do my best to control my emotions, but once i warm up to you i will show my warm, childish side. i tend to be a bit dramatic at times, but mainly just to make people laugh. i tend to be a bit stubborn and stuck in my ways and defend what is mine. i tend to get a bit moody, and get random bouts of energy. honestly, the biggest compliment i could receive is somebody being comfortable enough around me to vent to me, i love comforting other people. i tend to ramble a lot and my mind changes lanes of thinking quite a lot, especially when you get me talking about things i love talking about. some of my passions are writing (to be quite honest, if it wasn't such an unstable career path, i would want to be a writer), working out, reading, food (making and eating it, i am a bit bigger on baking more than cooking and i stress bake quite often), science (particularly math), history (count on me to sprout random facts all the time) and languages (i speak three currently!). my preffered book and movie genre is action, psychological thriller, but i do love to watch a romantic comedy once in a while.

i tend to have pretty high standards for myself, and overworking is not a foreign thing for me. being in sports for a while, competitiveness tends to get the better of me (i will pick a random person and race them somewhere without them knowing the race is on; i am that person that will be increasing their speed on the treadmill if someone else is running next to me). i am a bit insecure and tend to pull back quite quickly, and i tend to avoid getting attached because when i fall, i fall quite fast and quite deep. my love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, and i am definitely okay with some pda!

my favourite season is summer (i joke it is because i am a summer child), i love love love my cappuccinos and ice cream, i have a big sweet tooth. i am fine with both outdoors and indoors dates- i believe in healthy balance! i am an ambivert, so i can go back and forth!

my ideal type is someone ambitious, a bit chill, someone who can read the atmosphere cause i don't always speak my feelings and someone who is not going to hesitate to show me they love me. really, a biggest turn off would be someone arrogant and unmotivated to be better.

thank you so much, i really really love your blog! make sure you are staying safe!

🖤 a/n : hi !! ok so i noticed you recently liked a lot of my posts and omg the ego boost that your notifs brought/bring me??! so THANK YOU ! hope you’re staying safe too <3

i ship you with...

𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈 !

you know how it works, let’s go for the explanations~ !

• akaashi with a s/o who wears glasses has always been and will always be a HUGE YES for me

• since we know akaashi became an editor, that means he probably has a good eye for art, which means that he would absolutely s w o o n in front of your dancing skills

• probably my biggest point here : you got yourself a #1 fan right there. he would support you in EVERYTHING you set your mind to, no matter how others react to your personal projects/goals, you will always have him by your side

• which obviously means that words of affirmation are daily. and honestly name one thing better than being 100% supported by akaashi keiji ?

• he would appreciate that you’re pretty chill, responsible and calm but that would only make his surprise bigger when your hidden character traits finally surface. and definitely not in a bad way, he would be so happy to see your warmer and more bubbly side <3 (makes him feel important to you 🥺)

• oh and also, please don’t mind being dramatic and/or moody at times because akaashi’s tolerance for moody people is canonly HUGE (thanks bokuto)

• we know he has a tendency to overthink a lot so he would gladly accept the comfort you can give him, and overall he would enjoy your presence a lot

• but rest assured that he always returns the favor, he wouldn’t mind spending hours reassuring you on your insecurities if needed and never ever rush you for anything

• i don’t think akaashi would mind pda, he doesn’t see any problem in showing others that he loves you. so definitely expect hand holding and kisses in public (nothing too extra tho, just a well-balanced amount of love)

• i’m gonna finish this matchup with a list of things you guys would probably do together : bake (a lot), study, write stuff and ask the other to proof read, go on MANY coffee dates, go to the gym together (because quick reminder that akaashi canonically wants to work on his physical power), watch movies and then talk about it for hours after, and, obviously, cuddleeee

<33

#matchups are closed rn :(#[matchups]🧩

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ashtcnirwin · 4 years ago

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god typing your url is always so hard for me i don't know why but i always want to type ashtocn ANYWAY how about this: gimme a director's cut for jalex in paris, change my mind fic, or makeup artist ashton fic. yes those are the three you wrote for me. i'm giving you the option to only break down one of them if you don't wanna have to dig into all three. but like you can hit all three if you wanna! go crazy. whatever floats your boat. love youuu xoxo bella

you and me both, i keep spelling it as aschtnirwin whenever i have to type it out🤡

hmm giving me choices... i like that, thank u miss bella! i haven’t really talked much about any of these fics (that i can remember), and i can’t quite make up (heh heh) my mind (heh heh) so i’ll just do all three and here’s to hoping i can keep it at least a little bit short

⭐ we’re doing director’s cut of fics guys⭐

jalex in paris aka we go together (or we don’t go down at all)

writing this fic was really hard in one way because i’d never written a fic for a fandom that i barely knew anything about, and i remember that i spent that whole morning/early afternoon looking at atl interviews and miscellaneous vids to get a tiny teeny grasp of their vibes. and it’s like...when you’re part of a fandom, you keep picking up all these little pieces of information about whatever/whoever it is you’re a fan of, things that you won’t find on a wiki page or anything, but to try and pick up all those little details in one day just wasn’t gonna happen obviously.

i think you, bella, commented on smth in the fic, a little detail or smth that didn’t add up with the real people, and i never went back to fix it (cos it just...didn’t matter to the story at all really) but i remember thinking to myself like “ah fuck...okay making little mistakes like that is really irritating cos if this was 5sos (or 1d for that matter) i’d never ever make a mistake like that”, yk?

anyway, i love paris a lot, i’ve been there a few times, and i’d been meaning to write you some jalex for a while when...either sam or meghna said smth about jalex in paris, and i thought...yeah...i can do that...mhm. so i did. and you know me, i’m usually all about the angst and the emotional torture and the heartbreak and all that stuff, BUT in addition to this fic being written for you and i know you’re all about the easy love, writing this as angsty or have jalex have a bigass argument over their relationship or anything like that just didn’t feel right AT ALL.

in my mind at least, the combination of how jalex act irl, both as individuals and as a duo, and the general vibe i was going for in the fic, the easy love-path was the only thing that made sense. it was just like...they spent a day wandering around paris, being a little chaotic, and ended with them sitting at a restaurant in the early evening, waiting for their dinner, and then jack just being like “are we on a date?”, totally casual, and then that was it, sort of. no conflict, no long conversation, no colliding expectations, etc etc, and it was lovely to write.

(but ofc, in true me-fashion, i had to throw SOMETHING in there, hence the nods towards a fwb-arrangement)

(in my defense, if it wasn’t for that, there never would’ve been a ‘is this a date?’-question tho so)

and i really, really enjoyed writing this piece, far more than i thought i would, and getting to write about parisian vibes (and cute boys complaining about awfully hot parisian summer weather) was just...i felt like a soft boiled egg by the time i finished and posted it😌

change my mind-fic aka we dance along

would you believe that this was the first fic i ever wrote that was inspired by a song? actually, so far it’s the only song-inspired fic i’ve written, i haven’t written another one since. why haven’t i? it was so much fun...huh

well i’m a wh*re for 1d, i was deep into the fandom back in the heyday, and this song was my sad jam back when tmh came out, so writing a fic for it eight years later and for a different fandom was...it felt a little odd, ngl, especially since i wrote it as non-au? which would indicate that 1d exists in this universe? and that 5sos went on tour with them? i don’t think i put a direct timestamp on the fic, but they were in stockholm when the events of the fic went down and it was established that they were in sheffield a week prior, so that would have been the myt tour, so...yeah, they would have toured with 1d a few years prior, and now they’re hanging out, drunk, in an hotel room, speaking in 1d lyrics? that’s a vibe

just like the jalex in paris-fic, there’s easy love here, too. i think i said something in the club a little while back (it might have been in response to...nik asking for general writing tips?) about how sometimes, people just...do things, they don’t think it through, they don’t stress out about it or anything; they want something and they go for it, and it just isn’t deeper than that. not everything has to be super fucking deep, right?

and i remember thinking as i was getting started on writing malum’s whole conversation about what went down in sheffield, that if any 5sos ship was gonna hook up and then a week later be like “ykw? i like you, i liked kissing you, i liked hooking up with you, so let’s just run with it and see where it takes us” with just a brief, minor freakout and not getting themselves into a whole pining, angsty situation over it, it would be malum. cos the basic premise of this fic COULD have been turned into an angsty slow burn, no doubt, but it made sense to me to drop the argument all together and just go for a soft and easy conversation

makeup artist ashton au aka something old, something new

ah awkward, nervous luke...loml. this one was SO FUCKING HARD to write for the sole reason that idk shit about makeup, like i’m literally barely able to paint my own face without ending up looking like heath ledger in the dark knight, u feel? had it only been hairdresser!ashton. i know way more about hair. well anyway doesn’t matter.

it’s been so long since i wrote that fic now (or, it feels like it’s been super long, in all actuality it’s only been like half a year) and i wrote it so quickly that i can’t remember a lot about my thought process as i wrote it, tbh?

the only thing that stands out to me is the line in the fic that goes, “He chooses to not say anything about the fact that it’s the judgement he’s passing on himself that’s the main problem.” because while i’m obviously not gonna sit here and speak for everyone else, i often find that when i make a big change in my life, be it with my looks or my job or my studies or in personal relationships or whatever else, i tend to be more focused on judging myself for whatever it is i just did than i am on whatever judgement other people may be passing on me.

i wrote luke as being super nervous and unsure about asking ashton to put makeup on him, but his nerves definitely came more from being scared of taking that step than from worrying about other people judging him. i didn’t elaborate on it in the fic as far as i can remember, but i imagine that the reason he was so nervous was that he was scared of taking another leap away from traditional masculinity and what it might lead to. i feel like...a part of him was hoping that he wouldn’t like his face with makeup on, simply because then he could take it all off and carry on with his life, but well, that didn’t happen. he’s a pretty boi, even prettier with makeup.

also, in hindsight, i realise that this is one of those fics that could have been left pairing-less and it wouldn’t really have changed the story much at all. the focus of the fic was very much on luke, not as much on the interactions between him and ashton, and i think the main reason why i did include some flirting (or, clumsy attempts at flirting at least (luke just going ‘hey do u have snapchat? pls? i wanna talk to u more)) was that it’s become more or less second nature to me when writing fic to include at least a nod or two towards a romantic relationship?

yeah i did not manage to keep any of these particularly short? surprise surprise but thank u bella for giving me the chance to talk abt these fics that i have a tendency to forget abt, ily🧡

#this was neat #not the fics i think abt very often (or at all) but getting the chance to do it was really really great so thank u bella #ask #bella #fic ask

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glitchnovax · 4 years ago

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okokok sooo a lot of people think Atsushi is annoying and too insecure. At first I didn't like him either,but then I realized overcoming his insecurities(which he kinda still has) is part of his character development and I've come to the conclusion that I love him very much. So I was just curious, what do you think about him?

I am so sorry this is so long, I always get caught up on topics like this-

I hope this answers your question tho :3

Atsushi is one of the only protagonists I have genuinely had respect for and overall actually like the character of, compared to other animes/shows. At first I was the same, just sort of assuming he’d be another do-gooder protagonist the whole “I’m gonna be strong, defeat the true enemy” yada yada, but there actually is truly depths to his character that there isn’t with most other protagonists.

The difference with Atsushi is that he genuinely does not this he deserves to be where he is, he doesn’t even believe that he deserves to life, he thinks he has to earn the right. With other protags they tend to be doubtful at first but then very very quickly switch to the most positive characters ever to the point of their optimism being annoying af.

The reason Atsushi is so interesting to me is that mindset of needing to earn the right to live. Obviously it’s a very unhealthy way of viewing life but it’s what gives him depth as a character. The way he fights not necessarily because “iT’s ThE RiGhT tHiNg tO dO” (although it does factor in) but because he sees it as an opportunity at redemption, a way to validate his life. If you think about it, it’s quite similar to Dazai, they both feel as though they need to redeem themselves and joining the ada was a clean start for them, they both try to not so much bury the past, but put it behind them.

This is where the trauma comes in. In response the idea that he is just a whiny, overly insecure kid who needs to quit complaining and face the world, yes ofc I can see why people think that, he is definitely the most hesitant character in terms of facing his problems, he spends a lot of time trying to escape them or hide from them. Here’s the thing though, he was literally taught to hide from his problems all his life. At the orphanage we never see him stand up the headmaster, only him crying. Why? Because he’s a literal child. All he knows is fear, and escaping the abuse and torment of his previous “family”. He was never taught how to face his problems and while other protags tend to face them head on, he generally spends a lot of time hiding from them and cowering, the tiger is incredible symbolic of this.

Not only this but he’s literally followed around by his past. I said earlier that what he’s trying to do is put it behind him and move on, but he literally can’t do this because he’s haunted by ptsd (which is very visible in dead apple). This is also why he constantly reiterates the fact that he needs to prove his right to live. This boy literally hates himself so much all because that’s all he’s ever known. The headmaster says in a flashback “when you leave this place, hate me. Never hate yourself.” But this backfired on him because now all he can do is hate himself because it’s all he’s ever known.

One of my favourite quotes from Atsushi is in that fight with Akutagawa in season 1 when he says “people need to be told they matter or else they can’t go on” which is so damn iconic. It reflects on Atsushi, it reflects Akutagawa, it reflects on Kyouka (and I’d love to go through all of them but I’ll just stick to Atsushi for this post). That quote explains it all, it immediately states why Atsushi is as insecure as he is - because he’s always been told that he’s worthless and would be better off dead - it explains why he feels the need to earn his right to life - because again, he’s been told no one would miss him if he died (and I can’t stress hi enough:) all his life!! He needs to prove to the headmaster and most of all to himself that he isn’t worthless - and overall it just shows how self aware he is.

Anyone who has struggled with intrusive thoughs, insecurity and just overall self hatred knows that it’s like to have a voice in the back of their head telling them how shitty they are, and it’s awful. The voice in his head is a constant, it’s loud and it’s clearly hurting him. Whenever he’s “annoying and insecure” it’s because that voice is beating him to a pulp and he’s struggling to fight back. His character developement is visible (I mean you can can see the clear difference when he’s with his friends from the ada because he can tell they care about him a lot which is obviously a massive difference to the orphanage) however the developement will take time, if he’s written right, it’ll take more than just friend that care about him to improve his self esteem so to speak, he needs to help himself out of his own darkness. This is very very obviously contrasted to Akutagawa’s character in that Aku has essentially given up on himself, he’s worked so hard and in the end he’s given up on finding a way out. That is until Atsushi came along. Atsushi is different because he is clearly working towards getting out of that darkness, and he is succeeding. As we know, Aku’s jealousy stems from Dazai’s appreciation of Atsushi, but I would also argue that it’s from seeing how much Atsushi is improving and actually having a warped view of that.

I know this is slightly off topic but just let me explain: when Aku talks to Kyouka in the canibalism arc, he says that she’s lucky to have found her way to the light, the general meaning of this is taken as hat she got out of the Port Mafia and joined the “good” side. However there’s quite obviously a double meaning in that Aku can see how happy Kyouka is and believes that he’ll never reach that (Aku’s story is one I’d rather discuss in another post but for the purpose of understanding Atsushi’s growth, you should understand it from Aku’s point of view as well).

He says how happy he is for Kyouka, but remains angry at Atsushi, because he feels like Atsushi has everything (this comes from their fight on the Moby Dick) Atsushi is really quick to point out that he absolutely doesn��t have everything and that he suffers just as Aku does and I think that scene really explains Atsushi’s character incredibly well. Just to tie this all up, I think Aku agreeing to not kill anyone until he and Atsushi battle it out, is a massive first step in him attempting to improve himself (even if it is in the essence of competition).

Overall, Atsushi is so much more than just an “annoying and insecure” character, like all of the characters in bsd, he’s quite complex and I really enjoy breaking down all the aspects of his character to explain this.

Atsushi isn’t one of my favourite characters, but he’s one I’ve come to respect him more and more as I’ve watched and rewatched bsd (and now as I finally read the manga!!). I love discussing all the complexities of bsd especially since there’s so much to break down and delve into (and believe me my favourite characters aren’t my favourites for no reason).

To everyone reading this, feel free to reply/reblog with your opinions, I love hearing what other people think about stuff like this skdjskd

I’ll gladly give my opinion on whatever character, scene, story arc, fandom based thing or just anything in bsd in general so feel free to send in more asks :)

#cas talks #despite everything i said #i will not refrain from yelling about how much of a lil bitch Atsushi is while watching dead apple #i love him tho #even if hes not one of my favourites ill defend him til the day i die #bsd thoughts #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd character opinions #atsushi #atsushi nakajima #nakajima atsushi #bsd atsushi #bungou stray dogs atsushi

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gender-chaotic · 5 years ago

Note

I don’t think I’ve hear anything about your Paranormal Investigator au?? Could you tell me/us about it?

Anon bless, thank you for giving me an exuse to info dump about my au. Also just a warning this is going to mix characters from all 3 canons and its gonna be pretty long. So this au takes place in pleasent pines Connecticut (based on peaceful pines from the show) that is a paranormal hotspot of sorts. Its seen as a town curse and while many of the townsfolk are vaugley aware of the cryptids,ghosts,monsters,ect. That are apart of the town they tend to turn a blind eye/ignore it. This also has to do with the witch trials that took place in Connecticut hundreds of years ago which raises the towns superstitions. Beej, adam, babs are paranormal investigators who live out of their van with lydia who doesnt live in the van with them but helps them hunt the paranormal Beetlejuice/bj/beej (Lawrence beetlejuice Shaggoth) (23) is one of the local paranormal investigator, at a young age he learned he could see ghosts due to the death of his father which was thought to be him leaving his family. After that beej started to see ghosts anywhere they were and tried to tell people around town and attempt to help ghosts as much as he could. This sparked beej's interest in becoming a paranormal investigator and he attempted for years to tell people and town and get them to pay attention but he ended up gaining the reputation as being the "crazy wierd kid who thinks he can see ghosts". Over the years as beej started to humant and investigate the paranormal more and more in town with the rest if the gang the town started to resent him more and he was also seen a making their "curse" worse not to mention breaking into buildings and generally "causing trouble" around town to do his job. Juno, mother to beej and his twin brother Donny hated this and for years tried to shut down his belief in the paranormal and discourage him from hunting ghosts. The fact that beej insists that he says he kept seeing his father as a ghost around made it worse. Juno is a successful buisness woman in town obsessed with her image and status in town and often pits donny and bj against eachother and cares more about they make her look than her own children. She made it clear all bj's life he was a disappointment and always insulted and berated him but favored donny, she even attempted to have beej institutionalized because of his ability to see ghosts and also undiagnosed mental illness she never took seriously, but since beej was always deemed "mentally healthy" it was never sucessful but gave him a fear of being institutionalized and asylums. When beej turned 18 she kicked him out of the house and beetlejuice dropped out of highschool, after this beetlejuice officially started his parnormal investigation buisness out of his van traveling around town and even out of town or out of state at times. Juno still lets him and the rest of the gang in the house at times or atleast let them sleep in the van in their driveway because donny begs her. Beetlejuice often steals food and supplies from his mom's place but donny replaces it for him and attempts to help beej out financially but of course beej is too stubborn to take it. Barbara(21) lived on a farm her whole life with a deeply religious family and was homeschooled, she often went into town to read books at the library where she learned about witchcraft and immediately took a liking to it, secretly practicing at home. Her parents unfortunatly found out multiple times and each and everytime threw out or destroyed any altars, books, herbs, ect. She had anything she had to do with witchcraft. When she was 18 a monster/crpytid started hunting down and killing local farm animals. Baraba who is an animal lover and also a very young witch secised to try and bring the animals back but failed and while doing so was kicked out of their home, blamed for the murders of those farm animals even after she insisted and begged it wasnt hrler and that it was somwthing else out there but none of her family believes her instead she is called the devil and various other insults. After this she moves in with adam for the time being who's parents reluctantly take her in temporarily. Adam (21) used to go to school with beej and donny back in middle/high school. For a long time he kind of saw beej how everyone else saw beetlejuice, and thought he was a crazy trouble making wierdo not wanting anything to do with him until one day barbara brings beetlejuice around telling adam they should help him hunt the paranormal, withadam being the tech guy since his love for fixing and building things carries over into more modern tech in this au. Adam doesnt believe beej at first but on their first job that quickly changes and the 3 of them eventually become paranormal investigation team, barbara being their witch/mystic and adam ad their tech/research/ and camera guy. Adam's parents eventually kick adam and barbara out because they don't approve of Barbara's witchcraft but also that both of them are working with the "town menace" beetlejuice so after that they live with beej out of the van. Often struggling to turn a profit or make ends meet . all of them become infamous around town and ans are mostly hated especially since they're rivaling otho. Otho(early to mid 30's) is the town's medium,exorcist ,paranormal investigator and rival of our mystery gang. Most of the town looks up to him and he's seen as the savior of pleasant pines when he's actually a fraud. He rarely actually solves any actually problems or finds a cheap/half assed way of doing it while pretending to this all powerful mystic. He also tends to just straight up exorsize ghosts even low level ones that arent demons or poltergeists when beetle juice tries to help these spirits and they down need to be exorsized. Otho is assisted by vanessa (She is the magician's assistant from the film)(24/25) his loyal assistant who enjoys having power in town and living ontop working for otho uaually willing to do whatever he says to help them rise to power of course she is very independent and will speak her mind, still often doing what she wants. They both along with otho's other followers want the mystery gang gone. Delia (early to mis 30's) is one of the the many deticated followers to otho in town, being one of his closest friends and wants to help in anyway she can. Delia is also a witch or a witch in training under otho but very new to witchcraft and since she is taken under otho's wing she doesn't really know alot of proper witchcraft. Delia is more naive and thinks otho is actually helping, wanting to assist him and the town in anyway possible. Lydia (13), Charles' daughter and delia's stepdaughter is fascinated with the paranormal and runs a blog "pleasant pines paranormal" documenting all things weird in town. Lydia is also obsessed with the mystery gang and desperately wishes to join them despite being so young and a job like this will put her in alot of danger. She eventually convinces them to hire them because of her father's connections to certain buildings and lands around town since charles has a job in real estate and is pretty successful/well off giving them leads ahead of otho. With her step mother's close friendship with him this also gives them a chance to one up him. Lydia can see ghosts loke beej but keeps it mostly a secret to not be ostracized even more by the town like beej is, and eventually learns witcraft under barbara. Through out the story lydia is also trying to look for emily's ghost around town or find her in some kind of after life. Charles (late 30's) as mentioned works in real estate in town inadvertently helping the gang with leads and investigation. Charles is more neutral toward otho and the mystery gang, he doesnt really see otho as a great saviour of the town like everyone else but luts up with all the otho stuff because of delia. He also doesn't hate the mystery gang just see's them as a bunch of kids making money the same way otho is although he isnt thrilled his daughter is following them around. This is the main cast and story for now, there are more characters like: tina (miss argentina) (24) who is childhood friends with beej and donny she like charles is more neuteral toward bith parties although since she ia friends with beetle juice she is more on their side, often trying to help them with food, essentials, somwetimes lets them sleep in her apartment and use her shower. She unfortunatly doeant areally believe that beej can see ghosts like the town and thinks its "delusions" which puts a strain in their friendship especially since tina thinks they should find a real job, this isnt malicious she's just worried about her friends and hates seeing them struggle. Tina Secretary/assistant to juno in this au and the ex girlfriend to vanessa. Tina doesnt really like otho and broke up with vanessa after she became closer and more loyal to him. Claire (13) lydia's classmate (and crush) like in the cartoon bullies lydia for being "weird" and helping the mystery gang, claire's parents are rich followers of otho. Sometimes acts as a spy/informant for otho to prove her loyalty to him and her parents. I think this is all the basic info and main cast stuff for the au im probably missing some stuff tho. Theres also alot of things i have developed already and alot more world building i want to do so if y'all wanna hear more about this au hmu in asks, I'll probably even draw some stuff for this au.

#Beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice cartoon #the maitlands #lydia deetz #and yes this au is going to have goldenrat/beetlelands y'all know me by now #i love this au with all my heart and its based off of my favorite type of media gravity falls buffy scooby doo stuff like that so im very p #au's #au #beetlejuice au

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szopenhauer · 4 years ago

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What would you call your body type? hourglass? vase? chubby yet underweight? worse version of Juno Temple’s body? petite?

When is the next time you’ll be at work? when I’ll have a job lol

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? am not, thx for gift bags!

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? besides pajama I put all my dirty clothes into laundry bin

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? no

Is your vision good? yes

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? recently - necklace from my gf

Is your present hair color, natural? it is

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? where should I start...

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? yeah, and I did, more than once/one person

Have you ever worn color contacts? I haven’t worn any contacts

What’s the best thing about a hug? dunno

Do you buy your friends gifts? sure

What color headphones do you own? light blue

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? I wish but home stuff, not clothes

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? my ears ain’t pierced

Do you enjoy watching fights? in action movies?

Have you ever been in a physical fight? I’ve been hit/punched/slapped

Do you tend to talk badly about people? I complain about people often

Where are your parents as of now? my dad’s working and my mom is calling him from their room, I turned music on to not listen to their conversation even tho my head hurts a bit

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? pfft

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? hmm...

Are you wearing make up at the moment? obviously not

Favorite television channel? I don’t watch TV

Describe the worst day of your life: ugh...

Name something that’s your favorite color: lime, sun, darkness

Do you judge by appearances? kinda

Do you follow a certain religion? Christianity

What are you most self conscious about? I’m insecure in general

Do you have any family members who live out of town? yup

Do you consider yourself short? I am short

Hoodies or jackets? why not both? there ain’t a big difference between those

Are you outside a lot? nope

Have you ever been dumped via text message? I dumped someone via text message

Do you like dreamcatchers? not anymore

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? T?

Do you believe in any particular curses? I’m afraid

What movie scares you the most? that I watched or don’t wanna see?

Do you work with any close friends? I don’t work

Do you listen to any country music? few songs of Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? bunch

Are you normally an independent person? I don’t believe you can be totally independent, you can be more or less but never 100% and I wish I wasn’t so dependent

Ever been judged because of your weight? I’ve been told I must have anorexia or bulimia which is a lie

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? obvi

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I’ve heard so many names that it’s hard to choose

Do you own any brown clothing? I might but I can’t remember atm

What is the first digit of your phone number? personal

Do you tend to sleep a lot? wouldn’t say so, especially recently

Silver or gold jewelry? dunno, depends

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? I’ve received lots of goodies

When was the last time you showered? last night

Would you consider yourself attractive? me? r u kidding?...

Has anyone made you mad today? mom - slightly

Favorite smell: sigh...

Are you afraid of insects? dead ones and maggots

Do you have any children? noooo

If so, what are their names? -

Have you ever lived on a farm? been visiting my aunt, I enjoyed it

Ever played any sports? we all had to in PE

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? I know they won’t

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? I try to be?

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? no way

Do you like to make donations? if I had money... but I donate old stuff at times

Meet anyone from your past lately? yep

Have you ever called a suicide line? nope and no comment

Have you ever caught something on fire? my fingers

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? I think it was a hill actually

At what age do you plan to get married? about 30 if at all

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past 12 hours? I have not What’s something you need to go shopping for? food tomorrow? How many hours did you sleep last night? fallen asleep before 2 am then woke up twice until 5 am as I felt bad and then finally about 10 am In the past week have you watched cartoons? She-ra Do/did you do good in school? very then I got worse gradually Who are you most like in your family? look more like mom but have personality and interests more like my dad

Last thing you had to drink? I’m drinkin’ water now Is there any part of your body that hurts? there is Where is your biological mother right now? balcony

If you say “haha”, do you sometimes put space between them? [Ex. Ha ha] then it has a different (sarcastic) meaning

Do you have fruit flies in your house? only sometimes when there are fruits in the kitchen

Have you ever seen a spelling error in a book that you read? yeah and that annoys me

Do you type “mhm” a lot? mhm hehe

Have you ever tried eating peanut butter to get rid of your hiccups? it helps? :o

Do you have a garage? we don’t as we don’t own a car

Do you think it would be cool if one of your family members was your neighbor? but I live with my parents

Do you remember the first time you experienced the Internet? not exactly the very first time

Are you still in your pajamas? am not

Is Jiminy the Cricket your favorite Disney character? sorry but no

If you were Noah, would you procrastinate building the ark? it made me laugh

Do you know anyone that snores really loud? my mother

What kind of purse do you have? I own many

If you were only allowed to make one more phone call to a loved one, who would you speak to? my dad

“Age is nothing but a number.” Is that true? said a pedo

What’s the most interesting thing about you? depends on a perspective?

Have you ever lost someone to suicide? If so, how did you cope? I haven’t

What’s your most prized possession? Why? personal

What’s your favorite part of speech? mic drop, jk

Would you rather have it all or know it all? does have it all means also have all illnesses? then thx but no

Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? only part about paying, I check if it’s free or else I’m paranoid about it later What’s the most dangerous thing you would like to do now? eat what I can’t Did you invite classmates to your birthday parties? only my best friends Do you like when things are color coordinated? nah

Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? I didn’t win Can you juggle? can’t

Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? not only, sometimes there is a sound in a song and I think it was my phone or smth How often do you use bobby pins? very rarely Are you in a good mood right now? I’m in one of the worst moods actually Who was the last person in your bedroom? my mother Are you listening to music, if so, what song? I’m not in the mood Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? I wish I had What color is the sky outside? light blue with white clouds Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? I haven’t

Do any of your neighbors have dogs? some, one of the dogs is barking 24/7 and I hate it

Have you ever bought a fragrance by a celeb because you liked who it was? that’s stupid Do you normally wash your hands in warm or cold water? warm Do you watch The Big Bang Theory? used to Do you think about the way things used to be often? overthink, feel nostalgic, miss stuff Do you know someone who has purple in their hair? Or do you? not anymore Are you a competitive person? competitions are too stressful How often do you get an upset stomach? all the damn time Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? we do :D What’s worse : A clingy person or someone who doesn’t care enough? I prefer someone balanced, in between How many dresses do you own? just a few Do you read instructions? partially Have you ever seen the show Wife Swap? I heard of it

What was the last thing you took a picture of? flowers for my parents

What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? very cold and snowy Would you rather read or write? depends Growing up, did you see your cousins often? no Where was your first job at? dunno what I can count as my first job Is life a party to you? as a person who doesn’t like parties... Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? I’m tired of news in general When was the last time you flew a kite? as a kid :( How long have you had Facebook? I don’t remember how old I had my first account but this one is new, had it just couple of months have you ever wanted to be a dentist?: no way in hell

does your cell phone have a charm hanging from it?: new cellphones don’t have the spot for that like the older models did and that’s really sad, I had charms on my blackberry

what color was the last thing you drank?: transparent

what was the last game you played online?: I’m playing Raid shadow legends

do you have something with your school’s name on it? not anymore

which one of your friends would make the best roommate?: my dad as I already live with him

how old were you when you first learned how to read?: I learned very soon

do you have a favorite cup or mug? if so, describe it: I don’t use my fav ones as I worry I will ruin them

who was on top the last time you had sex?: personal

what color was the last blanket you used?: it’s blue with sun and moon

if you don’t have a car, what is your dream car?: DeLorean or jeep

have you ever wanted a pet chinchilla?: yep

has gum ever gotten stuck in your hair?: będąc w lokalnym sklepiku z tatą zauważyłam, że żując miałam włosy w buzi i się wlepiły i powiedziałam ojcu o tym, a ten mnie pociągnął za czuprynę i guma wyskoczyła mi z paszczy i zawisła na tych nieszczęsnych kosmykach i ekspedientka to widziała, chciałam się zapaść pod ziemię, nie pamiętam jednak co się stało potem czyli jak odlepiliśmy to świństwo oraz kiedy właściwie

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howlingwind · 5 years ago

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01. what’s your name/alias you go by ??

my name is jeff !! lmfao (i don’t let memes die) it’s not my real name but i’ve gone by cody on tumblr for a long time

02. what’s your age ??

twenty. jfc i’m old. but also apparently a fetus??

03. what’s your zodiac sign ??

aries, which couldn’t feel further from correct lmfao

04. what’s your ethnicity ??

uhh mostly italian & sicilian, but you could probably point to any white place in europe and i’ll have a little bit of that in me. i’m also 1/16th native american but it’s such a small amount and sadly i don’t even know which tribe to learn more about them.

05. what’s your nationality ??

‘murican

06. what’s your favorite band and/or musical artist ??

i’m super indecisive about everything, so it’s difficult for me to pick faves (as you’ll see in a sec) but… mac miller, post malone, johnny cash, eminem, tenacious d, colter wall, kehlani, bruno mars, snoop dogg, elvis presley, justin timberlake, sublime, the rolling stones, etc etc there’s probably a lot i’m forgetting tho. i like most types of music except country. well, modern country anyway.

07. what’s your dream job ??

uh, i don’t have one? i mean yeah, i’d love to be a writer, or game dev, or a narrative director on a game, or direct, write, or act in movies or television, but like…i could live without any of that stuff. i just want to make a decent living, be able to own a house, not completely hate my job. yknow, not a glamorous life but a good one.

08. what’s one place you would love to visit ??

idk there’s a lot of places i’d like to go, but i’d most like to visit alpha centauri, even tho that’ll never happen lol

09. what’s your favorite tv show ??

i can’t pick that! but i love a lot of shows. general hospital, lucifer, the 100, supernatural, stranger things, izombie, south park, legends of tomorrow, once upon a time, arrow (at times), dragon ball, big brother, riverdale, chilling adventures of sabrina, that 70′s show, the ranch, umm… i could probably keep listing forever.

10. what’s your favorite movie ??

hmmmm, again i’ve got a list but… joe dirt, the new guy, why him, the waterboy, 50 first dates, all the spider-man movies, thor ragnarok, man of steel, 21 jump street, 22 jump street ,and a fuckton more lol

11. what’s your favorite song ??

constantly in flux, but the current faves are — creep by radiohead, stay by post malone, no below by speedy ortiz, unshaken by d’angelo, cruel cruel world by willie nelson, wanksta by 50 cent, shooter by lil wayne & robin thicke, stressed out by 21 pilots, self care by mac miller (along with practically everything on his final album), and i will always, un-ironically love only in america by riff raff. he’s not the greatest ever but that song is hilarious and always puts me in a good mood.

12. what’s your favorite sport ??

can i say rocket league? lol

13. what’s your favorite food ??

pizza, unquestionably. cereal is a damn close second tho. or pot stickers. damn, i’m hungry…

14. what’s your favorite face claim to use ??

typically, i’ve always really liked using paul wesley, chris wood, and matt daddario. i’m using lindsey morgan for the first time now though, and i really like her as an fc too.

15. what’s your least favorite face claim ??

to use?? um pretty much any singer or model just bc their resources aren’t too great. i really didn’t enjoy using pete davidson as much as i thought i would, either lol

to see… uh probs emma roberts or andy biersack. emma for obvs reasons but also bc i once had a really bad experience with people using those fcs. idm people using whoever they feel like using tho.

16. what’s your favorite character of yours to play ?? which do you think you’re most like ??

oh man, uhh i really enjoy writing chrissy & theo. they both speak to me. but tbh i’m not much like any of my characters? i’m boring af so i tend not to make any like me lol. i am kinda like theo in the sense that i’m quiet, and really just try to be a good person. other than that i’m most like jason solely based on the fact we’re both human lol

17. what’s your sexuality ??

danversexual. attracted only to fictional danvers women, examples including carol, kara, and alex danvers.

lmfao but nah i’m just a boring straight boy. well, like 99.9% straight. jensen ackles makes me question shit.

18. what’s the last movie you saw in a cinema/theater ??

captain marvel (thanks to dani lol). only two months late but it was worth the experience haha.

19. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ??

thankfully i’ve never really hurt myself too terribly except for a broken wrist, but between the ages of 10-17 i’d occasionally hurt my back by sitting weird, usually in an attempt to play video games without the glasses i desperately needed lol. once when i was like 11 i laid belly down on the couch with my elbows up on the arm of it for like three hours, which messed me up for days, then a few other times i hurt myself, but another bad one when i was 17, i had my back curved while sitting and propping my laptop up on my knee, tried to move and literally just cried, crawled on the floor, and laid there all night until i forced myself to move in the morning. lol luckily it hasn’t happened since i lost a little weight.

20. what’s a random or interesting fact about you ??

uhm, nothing? i literally can’t think of one, i’m dull af. i uh.. i replaced my own cpu cooler once? lmfao

21. do you listen to music while you write ??

sometimes. a lot of time i just like the silence or ambient background noise, but if i’ve got a fitting playlist for the vibe of what i’m trying to write, i’ll use it!

22. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer ??

i’m a never writer, apparently v___v but lol ideally a night writer, my best work is between the hours of 12am & 4am, but my sleeping schedule is so inconsistent, and so is my dad’s who spends literally every waking moment of his telling me different stuff he wants done, so it’s tough to hit that sweet spot. i write whenever i get a chance tho.

23. have you ever roleplayed intoxicated ??

lol nah i’ve never even had a drink. like what teenager doesn’t have a drink at some point?? i told you i’m lame.

24. what language or languages do you speak ??

english, barely. and assassin’s creed 2 taught me some italian swears. and ac: odyssey has had me occasionally dropping “malaka” bombs since the day i first played it haha.

25. how long have you roleplayed ??

officially, about 9 years. i started at 11 on myspace, rping dragon ball z stuff. but basically about 12 years, if you count how from the ages of 8-11 i’d put an anime pic up on my myspace, pretend i was older, and talk to roleplayers i didn’t realize were roleplayers lmfao.

26. favorite roleplay genre ??

i like pretty much anything, tbh. as long as it’s well thought out, has an interesting plot, or whatever. sometimes it doesn’t even need that, it just needs to catch my eye or line up with something i’m looking for. but yeah, supernatural, multi-fandom, sci-fi, romance, town rps, high school/college rps, anime rp (well, pokemon mostly), harry potter… i’ve done it all tbh and don’t particularly have a favorite.

27. one sound you hate & one you love ??

the sound of cotton stretching is the absolute worst thing to me. or scratching cotton. idk, it just sends chills up and down my spine and makes my hands feel weak lmfao. i’m weird. i really love the sound of rain, or fire crackling, or like “ambient” harp or ukulele music.

28. do you believe in ghosts ??

short answer, yes. long answer… i’m pretty sure i was friends with a ghost girl as a kid?? like no joke, even looking back at it through rational “adult” eyes, i’m still convinced. my fam moved into a new apartment, and pretty much right after that i started having dreams about a girl my age at the time (11-12). i’d never seen her before but the dreams would be like just conversations, like i was visiting a friend or something. i don’t remember them much, but i do remember the feeling of someone else in my room all the time, like you know how if someone else is around you just know even if you’re not looking at them? like that. there was even one night i was getting in bed, laid there a minute, and then i could have absolutely sworn somebody came in the room and sat down next to me on the bed because i felt the bed sink a little under their weight, but i looked and no one was there. i had a really vivid conversation/dream/thing that night. then a few nights later, for the first time since moving there i didn’t have one. the next morning my dad was really freaked out and said he fell asleep in the chair, but woke up and couldn’t breathe, and felt cold little hands over his mouth. he rationalized it as just waking up from a nightmare but i didn’t think so, so that night when i went to sleep and saw her i got really upset, yelled at her for it, and woke up right after. then i never saw or heard anything even remotely similar again, like she left or disappeared or something. it’s so weird, and i know how crazy it sounds, but yeah. don’t get me started on the topic of ghosts lmfao. THEN AGAIN, like a year later we had a carbon monoxide scare, but i really doubt the two were related because that would mean there was an entire year that we were breathing it in and the monitor didn’t do anything lol

29. do you believe in aliens ??

no alien story, thankfully, but it just makes no sense not to believe in them to me. like, we probably don’t have them on earth, and we’ve probably never encountered any, but it’s as close as you can get to a mathematical certainty that there’s some other life out there in the universe.

30. do you believe in true love ??

like, people who are just meant for each other, like romantic soulmates? nah not really. but i believe that two people can grow to truly love one another. whether it’s based off an initial attraction/infatuation, or a friendship, or both. i’d actually argue that’s a simple explanation of the biological science behind the feeling of love, but that’s an essay i’m not gonna write lol. but there’s apparently a lot of different types of love, so i guess “true love” is suggestive?

also slightly unrelated but i don’t-quite-believe-in-but-am-open-to-the-idea-of soulmates, not necessarily as two souls who are just meant for each other romantically and always end up together, but more as two or more souls that gravitate toward each other to make up the important people in each other’s lives, like family members, lovers, or close friends. but that’s more of a theoretical idea/possibility than an actual belief of mine.

31. do you hold grudges ??

um, yes. lol i try not to, and i really do want everyone to be their best/happiest selves, but some people man… some people can take a long walk off a short pier lmao

32. do you have any obsessions right now ??

PO KE MON GOTTA CATCH EM ALLLLL. also… life is strange (thanks dani lol). supernatural. stranger things (thanks dani & steph) the 100 / clexa / becho (thanks steph). lucifer. captain marvel (thanks dani). the song “creep” by radiohead and all its covers (tom ellis, haley reinhart, etc). cyberpunk 2077 (thanks dani). as you can see, i’m easily influenced lmfao.

33. do you drive & if so, have you ever been in a crash ??

nope i don’t drive, precisely because i’d definitely end up in a crash lol

34. do you like the smell of gasoline ??

uh that’s a big fat no from me, chief

35. do you prefer writing fluff, angst, or smut ??

i like it all equally, i think. i just really like writing & rp in general. i did run a smut rp once in the past tho. it gets old quick tbh and is the one of the three i can live without lol

36. are you in a relationship ??

bahahahahahahaha no.

37. grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what is the 17the line ??

❝ “and why would that be?” kronos’s golden eyes glittered. ❞

— the last olympian by rick riordan.

38. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up:

1. season of the witch – donovan 2. riot van – arctic monkeys 3. busta rhymes – qveen herby 4. der kommissar – after the fire

also i gotta cheat because it’s too perfect that the next two are

5. stay – mac miller (one of my favorites ever that i forgot to mention above) 6. only in america – riff raff (i just love this ok. the video is hilarious but tw james franco for those that don’t like him)

#pandemonium: task #// i’m always last 😔 lmfao #// also this is like a mile long idek why so if you actually read this?? you’re a saint lol #→ por queue

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