#general gender positivity

[taliabhattwrites]

[cuddlytogas]

there was some Twitter madness recently where someone left a comment on someone's art to the effect of, "Ed shouldn't wear a dress, he's a man!" which I do disagree with on principle, but unfortunately, it brought out one of my least favourite trends in the fandom

so, naturally, I had to write a twitter essay about it. and I already largely argued this in a post here, but the thread is clearer and better structured, so I thought I'd cross-post for those not on the Hellsite (derogatory). edited for formatting/structure's sake, since I no longer have to keep to tweet lengths, and incorporating a couple of points other people brought up in the replies

so

I want to point out that the wedding cake toppers in OFMD s2 aren't evidence that Ed wants to wear dresses. Gender is fake, men can wear skirts, play with these dolls how you like, but it's not canon, and that scene especially Doesn't Mean That.

People cite it often: 'He put himself in a dress by painting the bride as himself! It's what he wants!' But that fundamentally misunderstands the scene, and the series' framing of weddings as a whole. I'd argue that Ed paints the figure not from desire, but from self-hatred; it's not what he wants, but what he thinks he should, and has failed to, be.

(Yes, I am slightly biased by my rampant anti-marriage opinions, but bear with me here, because it is relevant to the interpretation of the scene, and season two as a whole.)

The show is not subtle. It keeps telling us that the institution of marriage is a prison that suffocates everyone involved. Ed's parents' cycle of abuse is passed to their son in both the violence he witnesses then enacts on his father, and the self-repression his mother teaches, despite her good intentions ("It's not up to us, is it? It's up to God. ... We're just not those kind of people. We never will be."). Stede and Mary are both oppressed by their arranged marriage, with 1x04 blunty titled Discomfort in a Married State. The Barbados widows revel in their freedom ("We're alive. They're dead. Now is your time").

But even without this context, the particular wedding crashed in 2x01 is COMICALLY evil. The scene is introduced with this speech from the priest:

"The natural condition of humanity is base and vile. It is the obligation of people of standing ... to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony."

It's upper class, all-white, and religiously sanctioned. "Vile natural conditions" include queerness, sexual freedom, and family structures outside the cisheteropatriarchal capitalist unit. "The obligation of people of standing" invokes ideas like the white man's burden, innate class hierarchy, religious missions, and conversion therapy. Matrimony is presented as both "sacred" (endorsed by the ruling religious body), and a "transaction" (business performed to transfer property and people-as-property, regardless of their desires), a tool of the oppressive society that pirates escape and destroy. That is where the figurines come from.

When Ed, in a drunk, depressive spiral, paints himself onto the bride, he's not yearning for a pretty dress. He's sort of yearning for a wedding, but that's not framed as positive. What he's doing is projecting himself into an 'ideal' image of marriage because he believes that: a) that's what Stede (and everyone) wants; b) he can never live up to that ideal because he's unlovable and broken (brown, queer, lower-class, violent, abused, etc); c) that's why Stede left. He tries to make himself fit into the social ideal by painting himself onto the closest match - long-haired, partner to Stede/groom, but a demure, white woman, a frozen, porcelain miniature - because, if he could just shrink himself down and squeeze into that box, maybe Stede would love him and he'd live happily ever after. But he can't. So he won't.

The fantasy fails: Ed is morose, turns away from the figurines, then tips them into the sea, a lost cause. He knows he won't ever fulfil that bride's role, but he sees that as a failure in himself, not the role. It's not just that "Stede left, so Ed will never have a dream wedding and might as well die." Stede left when Ed was honest and vulnerable, "proving" what his trauma and depression tell him: there's one image of love (of personhood), and he'll never live up to it because he's fundamentally deficient. So he might as well die.

This hit me from my very first viewing. The scene is devastating, because Ed is wrong, and we know it! He doesn't need to change or reduce himself to fit an image and be accepted (as, eg, Izzy demanded). Stede knows and loves him exactly as he is; it's the main thread and theme of season two!

(@/everyonegetcake suggested that Ed's yearning in these scenes includes his broader desire for the vulnerability and safety Stede offered, literalised through unattainable "fine" things like the status of gentleman in s1, or the figurine's blue dress. I'd argue, though, that these scenes don't incorporate this beyond a general knowledge of Ed's character. Ed is always pining for both literal and emotional softness, but the significance of the figurines specifically, to both Ed and the audience, is poisoned by their origin and context: there is no positive fantasy in the bride figure, only Ed's perceived deficiency.

Further, assuming that a desire for vulnerability necessarily corresponds with an explicit desire for femininity, dresses, etc, kind of contradicts the major themes of the show. OFMD asserts that there is nothing wrong with men assuming femininity (through drag, self-care, nurturing, emotional vulnerability, etc), but also that many of these traits are, in fact, genderless, and should be available to men without affecting their perceived or actual masculinity. It thematically invokes the potential for cross-gender expression in Ed's desires, especially through the transgender echoes in his relieved disposal, then comfortable reincorporation, of the Blackbeard leathers/identity. It's a rich, valuable area of analysis and exploration. But it remains a suggestion, not a canon or on-screen trait.)

Importantly, the groom figure doesn't fit Stede, either. Not just in dress: it's stiff and formal, and marriage nearly killed him. He's shabbier now, yes, but also shedding his privilege and property, embracing his queerness, and trying to take responsibility for his community. In a s1 flashback, Stede hesitantly says, "I thought that, when I did marry, it could be for love," but he would never find love in marriage. Not just because he's gay, but because marriage in OFMD is an oppressive, transactional institution that precludes love altogether. All formal marriages in OFMD are loveless.

So, he becomes a pirate, where they reject society altogether and have matelotages instead. Lucius and Pete's "mateys" ceremony is shot and framed not like a wedding, but as an honest, personal bond, willingly conducted in community (in a circle; no presiding authority, procession, or transaction).

That is how Stede and Ed can find love, companionship, and happiness: by rejecting those figurines and their oppressive exchange of property, overseen by a church that enables colonialism and abuse. Ed is loved, and deserves happiness, as he is, no paint or projection required.

ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY: draw Ed in dresses! Write him getting gender euphoria in skirts! Write trans/nb Ed, draw men being feminine! Gender is fake, the show invites exploration, that's what 'transformative works' means! But please, stop citing the cake toppers as evidence it's canon. Stop citing a scene where a depressed Māori man gets drunk and projects himself onto a rich, white, silent bride because he thinks he's innately unlovable and only people like her can find happiness, shortly before deciding to kill himself, as canon evidence it's what he wants.

(Also, please don't come in here with "lmao we're just having fun," I know, I get it. Unfortunately, I'm an academiapilled researchmaxxer, and some of youse need to remember that the word "canon" has meaning. NOW GO HAVE FUN PUTTING THAT MAN IN A PRETTY DRESS!! 💖💖)

[sucresanguine]

not to be throwing stones but the way people talk about having a "female" childhood as a default good thing in queer spaces is bonkers. Like the amount of abuse I and many others experienced that was directly tied to that shouldn't have to be minimized as some kind of learning experience. I don't actually think suffering in one way makes you a better person for it. I'm not out here saying No One Ever Had A Happy Girlhood but for many people that shit was traumatizing and doesn't need to be put on a pretty little pedestal nor held up as something that made you necessarily more empathetic/feminist/radicalized because imo that really does carry the connotation that all those things were potentially good for you. Being someone who went through that didn't distinctly or directly make me a better feminist or ally, it made me a very very hurt person.

[rosered-schneeweisschens-sis]

so I’ve come up with 2 types of LGBT+ representation for my own personal reference. if there are academically/professionally defined categories out there, feel free to enlighten me. for now I’m just making stuff up.

thematic rep: the plot revolves around being LGBT+, like the main character is discovering their identity or actively dealing with queerphobia from relatives/former friends/the general public.

incidental rep: characters are LGBT+ and it’s not a plot point or overarching theme, it’s just part of their identity. this character is straight, this one is gay, doesn’t make a difference on a quest to slay a dragon.

[spaghettimakesflags]

glossophobia pride flag

[diamondsandtoads]

really messed up that everyone is all about body positivity until it comes to balding men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then it's all like "oh just shave it all off, it looks SO much better! don't men know how HORRIBLE they look when they DON'T remove their HAIR! ew so gross!!!!!!!!"

[otaku553]

just curious, what are the chinese characters for your ocs names? since the romanizations dont convey tone and meaning haha

Here they are!

Their approximate meanings are heaven-bestowed or sent by the heavens for tianci and bountiful growth of thankfulness or gratefulness over time for xieran

Let me know if these don’t seem quite right, I did make up xieran’s name and I do not have much experience choosing Chinese names lmao

The two of them share a last name but I don’t know about the last name yet

[dean-winchesters-clit]

Just a quick reminder:

IF YOU MAKE GRAND, SWEEPING STATEMENTS ABOUT HOW MEN AS A COLLECTIVE ARE TERRIBLE AND AWFUL, YOU ARE NOT A FEMINIST; YOU'RE A FUCKING BULLY AND YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE

Stay the fuck away, terfs: This user is nonbinary

[everyone-with-a-para]

I hope everyone with a para who struggles with their identity has a great day

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

well lots to think about there

[xenogendergenerator]

Pansymasc / pansygender / pansyfem

Pansymasc: a gender related to being masc and pansies, or being a masc Pansy .

Pansygender: a gender related to pansies, or being a Pansy.

Pansyfem: a gender related to being fem and pansies, or being a fem Pansy.

Made with inspiration from the xenogender creator (link in pinned)

[catxcatxcatxx]

The patriarchy rewards (a) men, and (b) people who fit into the roles in society determined by their genitals at birth.

Trans women/transfemmes are neither of the two. Therefore, the patriarchy punishes us the most.

[myplasticadversary]

Oh right, I just remembered! I was thinking about boy Shiv again earlier, how I feel like he'd have a combination of Stewy's attitude + Ewan's beliefs + Roman's pesky little brother-ness, and it occurred to me that perhaps he and Kendall could have a kind of Charley and Frank (of Merrily) thing going on with them promising to run Waystar together someday and change the world but it all falling apart as they grow up and keep getting put in the ring with one another.

[spotlightstudios]

I'm wasting time by drawing my fursona (s)!

DJ/Spot (left) is a Cheetah, Theory (middle) is a snow leopard, and Light (right) is a Bunni.

(Fun fact: One time I had a Crocodile fursona. It didn't last very long, but maybe I'll redraw her sometime.)

Actually thinking about going on a spree because I had a few AJ looks that I'd like to Oc-ify :3

[spaghettimakesflags]

photophobia flag

[turpetinekisses]

I am fucking addicted to AI videos I took my video and made this