#genderbent pitch black

[poussacha]

My Maxley Fics Masterpost

✨🎆the rise and fall of a midwest love affair series

[the man, the myth, the legend. The series I'm writing based on Chappell Roan's Midwest Princess Album. A story for most tracks (some of them are mashups).]

[This series does not need to be read in order whatsoever, they're all independent of one another (allegedly)]

hit it like it's hot to go

Rated E | F/F Genderbent Maxley | 17,477 Words | Complete

Summary: It’s pitch black and from the booth she can only really make out flashes of light and a writhing mass of bodies. Their voices lift to sing in unison with the music she’s broadcasting while their bodies undulate like live wires.

This is the part she loves most about playing in clubs. The drunken, writhing mass of voices that lend her their ears. They listen to her heavy-handed remixes, her mash-ups, her house beats all without a single complaint. For a moment, she controls their narrative, holding them captive with a beat.

She’s three quarters of the way through her set when her least favorite part about playing in clubs rears its ugly head. In the form of a wasted brunette with long curly hair and a sneer.

“Can you play a song with a fucking beat ?”

OR

Max is a DJ at a club Brittney (Bradley) frequents with her finance bro boyfriend. Brittney tries her damndest to be obnoxious. Max might just be endeared toward her anyway.

Tags: DJ AU, homophobic slurs, minor violence from a fist fight, internalised homophobia, lesbians, jumpscare het sex, man attacking a woman, implied/referenced domestic abuse, explicit sexual content, degradation kink, vers characters, praise kink, tongue piercings, angst, heartbreak, cheating, genderbent

Song: Femininomenon To Go Mashup

Playlist(s):

hit it like it's hot to go (official)

After Midnight

Rated T | M(IN)/F College AU (Trans Masc!Intersex!Bradley x Cis!Fem! Max) | 130,703 Words | Complete as of Jan 1, 2025

Updates on all days ending on 7 and on most days that are multiples of 7

Summary: It’s Max’s first year at university. She arrives on campus with her two best friends PJ and Bobby in Bobby’s beat up sleeper van from the 1970s that reeks of musk, weed, and boy sweat. She doesn’t know yet what this year has in store, but she hopes it’s something to remember.

Bradley is in his final year in law school. Just trying to graduate, pass the bar, and move on with his life. That is, until someone comes along to change his perspective.

Tags: CHEATING, INFIDELITY, AGE GAP, College AU, genderbent, fem!Max Goof, fem!PJ Pete, masc!Bobby Zimmeruski, fem!Roxanne Rover, fem!Stacey, trans!Bradley Uppercrust III, intersex!Bradley Uppercrust III, masc!Tank, no x-games, underage drinking, marijuana use, falling asleep in precarious situations, fist fight, harrassment, masturbation, shotgunning, fishing trips, San Francisco, indulgent touching, body worship, body dysmorphia, semi-nudity, tws at the top of every chapter

Song: After Midnight

Playlist(s):

After Midnight (Official)

Gamma Mu Mu House Party Playlist

& if you let me, i would've loved you always

California

Rated E | M/M Doctor!Bradley x Disabled!Dancer!Max AU | 23,857 Words | Incomplete

WARNING: DUB-CON, DEAD DOVE

Summary: Max Goof is at the prime of his life. He’s finally realized his dream of becoming the main dancer and choreographer for his favorite singer of all time, Powerline. That is, until an accident brings everything crashing down in an instant.

Leading to him to return home to Ohio, metaphorical tail tucked between his legs.

Will he find peace back home with his dad? Or will being back in Ohio only complicate things more?

Tags: blow jobs, bathroom sex, public sex, disabling incident, characters with disabilities, ableism, toxic relationships, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, incomplete spinal cord injury, polyamory, angst, wheelchair user max goof, canonically disabled della duck, discussions of medical insurance, allusions to drug abuse, eating disorders, slow burn, EXTREMELY DUBIOUS CONSENT, DUBIOUS MORALITY, POWER IMBALANCE, semi-public sex, prostate examinations, erectile dysfunction

Song: California

Playlist(s):

i'm never gonna get the things i want the most

🐩Standalone Maxley Fics

i just wanna sweet talk for awhile

Rated E | M/M Canon Divergent Post X-Games AU | 2,975 Words | Complete

Summary: They were always fighting. Two sides diametrically opposed. Except, as perfect opposites, they find themselves pulled together like magnets. Until they can't deny their chemistry.

Tags: fluff, self indulgent, frottage, frotting, inexperienced bradley uppercrust iii, experienced max goof, bottom bradley uppercrust iii, top max goof, soft boys, shockingly gentle to be something written by me, body worship, gentle words

Song: Sugar High

take it like a taker

Rated E | M/M Canon Divergent Post X-Games BDSM AU | 5,777 Words | Complete

Summary: Bradley's breath is quiet, measured. Muscles tensing beneath Max's fingertips, illuminated by the warm orange glow of candlelight, as he deftly loops ropes in simple patterns around his upper thigh and ankle. Until his legs bend open, splayed

His wrists are next. A simple double column across both arms and up through the center. OR

The shibari and wax play fic nobody asked for

Tags: shibari, wax play, porn without plot, BDSM, dom max, sub bradley, hurt/comfort, sub drop, panic, aftercare, bradley is the biggest brat, humans because getting wax out of fur sounded painful, max might be a brat tamer if you squint, self-indulgent, body worship, rimming

Song: The Giver

i feel so untouched & i want you so much

Rated E | M/M Fifth Column return to PJ's House with Bradley AU | 4,887 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Max and George return to PJ, Vicki, Tres, and Bobby's house in Northern Ohio. This time to help them pack their things and move back to Spoonerville. Bradley accompanies them on their journey.

Tags: based on Fifth Column by Madam_Muffins, if you haven't read that fic this one probably won't make sense, porn with some plot, Anal Sex, Bradley is a Brat, Max is a brat right back, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Dirty Talk, Banter, i tried to keep them as in character as possible, missing scene au from the source work

Song: Untouched

Oneshot for: @madammuffins

🐩Maxley & Goofline🎤⚡

if we listen to each other's hearts

Rated T | M/M & M/M Christmastime Miscommunication AU | 14,974 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Max and Goofy both have new partners to introduce to each other during Christmas. Little do either of them know, both are familiar faces from their past. With a few adventures and funny misconceptions along the way, everyone reunites.

Tags: fade to black smut scenes, funny miscommunication, max and his dad are both bisexual but haven't come out to each other, bradley and powerline are along for the ride, powerline's name is trevor, thanks to blxejxtice_, fluff, the sweetest thing i've written to date, crying over how soft this is, soft gays for my soft gays, bobby and pj only mentioned

Song: I2I

Oneshot for: jennadrawskinda (IG), zebombul (IG), and blxejxtice_ (IG)

🐕🐩🐕‍🦺Braxanne (Bradley/Max/Roxanne) OT3 Fics

i'm so obsessed with your ex

Rated E | M/M/F Mean Girls/Swap AU (Boy Next Door!Bradley x Homeschooled!Max x Queen Bee!Roxanne) | 19,324 Words | Complete

Summary: Max moves to Spoonerville after spending his formative years traveling around the world with his dad and his stepmom to study weather phenomena. Specifically lightning storms. He runs into a bit of a storm himself when Brad Uppercrust and Roxanne Rover both take a liking to him at the same time.

Tags: Mean Girls AU if you squint, Brad is the boy next door, Roxxane is the Queen Bee, this a brad and roxanne swap AU, surprise, max is a virgin, roxanne wants him bibilically, so does brad, brad and roxanne are bitter (?) exes, halloween parties, threesomes, explicit sex, teasing, praise kink, multiple orgasms, underage drinking, everyone is 18, but this takes place in the us so, MMF threesome

Song: Obsessed

Playlist(s):

i'm so obsessed with your ex

🛹⭐Sw00ney Brobert Swap AU fics (not maxley)

Brad Crust x Robert Zimmeruski

More from the Swap AU here on Sw00ney's ig

bite your tongue or i'll do it for you

Rated E | M/M | 2,007 Words | Complete

Summary: Brad convinced Robert to do something stupid again, this is the aftermath of their latest near-death experience.

Tags: they're so unhinged in this, degradation kink, brat on deck, going in dry, sort of, begging, wacky power dynamics, dirty talk, they're so mean to each other, but it's love i swear, established relationship, robert is a rich boy, brad's just a teenage dirtbag baby, i had too much fun writing this

Song: Good Hurt

Art for this fic by kofiracha!

beautiful boy, your words are made of poetry

Rated E | M/M | 1,457 Words | Incomplete

Summary: Bobby comes over to yell at Brad for something he (allegedly) didn't do only to find him suffering from an intense migraine.

Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: slow updates, migraines, hurt/comfort

Song: Sugar High

🐱‍🏍🐛Other AEGM fics (that aren't maxley)

Bobby x Max

open our bodies, i quietly knock on your door

Rated E | M/M (Trans!Masc!Max x Cis!Masc!Bobby) | 1,902 Words | Complete

Summary: "Fuck," Max says, coughing a little at the tail end of his latest hit. His voice echoes in his head, making him feel like he's at the crossroads of a hundred different timelines. Consciousness dipping and floating through each. Like he's the doorway of time. "What did you say this was?"

"OG Blueberry Creme," Bobby drawls, voice slow like syrup. He takes the blunt when Max passes it back to him, raising it to his lips to take another hit. "One of my all-time favorite highs, man."

OR

Bobby and Max get high and fool around in his van. That's it, that's the fic.

Tags: porn without plot, explicit sex, cum play, marijuana use, having sex under the influence, established relationship, van sex, trans Max Goof

the things i want the most

Rated E | M/M California-Verse AU what if Maxby instead of Maxley | 12,897 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Bobby's coworker convinces him to go to Powerline's Christmas Concert Extravaganza in New York. Begrudgingly, he agrees. Only to find himself dressed as a Slutty Santa at an after-party in hopes of reconnecting with his old friend turned backup dancer for the Powerline, Max Goof.

Tags: takes place in california-verse, New York City, au of california-verse, explicit sex, public sex, allusions to sexual abuse in Hollywood, you've heard of snakes on a plane, but have you heard of sex on a train, Bobby's van is called Bertha, purple prose everywhere as far as the eye can see, author doesn't know shit about the NYC subway system, all train shit based on BART in NorCal, and you can fucking TELL, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Sex in a van, smoking weed, Drug Use, Explicit Drug Use, sex under the influence, Dirty Talk, Cum Play, Multiple Orgasms, somebody get these boys some water

Song: California

Oneshot for: Sw00ney (Instagram)

Bradley x Kyo (Fratchanic by Crossoutz_ on IG)

so, honey, hold my hand (you like making me wait for it)

Rated G | M/M Fratchanic AU by Crossoutz_ on IG | 2,977 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Kyo honestly has no clue why Bradley keeps showing up at the body shop unannounced. There is absolutely no logical reason for him to go there every single day. BUT there is an illogical one. If they're willing to admit it.

Tags: Kyo belongs to crossoutz_, i'm only borrowing him to make someone happy, fluff, pre-relationship, author doesn't know shit about cars, but spent a lot of time in a body shop growing up, bradley is super sweet, PJ is a little shit, everyone in the body shop ships this like fedex, even pete, fratchanic

Song: I Really Like You

Oneshot for: Kofiracha (Instagram)

[raewritesf1]

16. Birthday Gift...? gax birthday shenanigans sound top tier

I apparently did have another genderbent gax fic. Confused why I haven’t touched this one is a while

“Danny’s just down the left hallway. He’s finishing up the surprise we’ve prepared for you.” Lando had told him as the last of the guest filed out. Max hadn’t been unaware of this preplanned surprise that Danny and Lando had laid out for him, the two choosing to leave the contents of the present a surprise rather than the fact that it was happening. Danny and Lando had informed him that they would be preparing a surprise present for him the second he had, reluctantly, allowed them to take charge of his birthday party.

“Danny?” he calls out, tentatively pushing the door open.

“Max! Okay, wait don’t open the door.” Danny answers, halting Max in his tracks. “I’ll be out in a second.” Max steps back, eyes still trained on the door In front of him, confusion building. It takes a few minutes before Danny walks out, purposefully making sure to obscure the room behind him.

“Please tell me you didn’t actually go out and order a bunch of stripper for my birthday.” he sighed, recalling one of the what he thought was joke suggestions Danny had mentioned previously.

“I promise I didn’t order a bunch of strippers to you room, even if it would have been funny.” Danny laughed, “Don’t be so nervous, you’ll like the present. Trust me.”

“Uh-hu” he hummed, still skeptically.

“Anyways, me and Lando are going to get out of your hair and let you enjoy your present. he said, giving Max a light punch in the arm. Danny pulls him into another hug, wishing him happy birthday again, before quickly making his way down the hallway, calling for Lando. A short while later he hears Lando shouting a quick ‘bye’ before the he hears the door open and shut.

Well, no more avoiding it. he thinks grasping the door handled and turning it open. Max walks into the room frowning. The room is pitch black all the light seemingly purposefully turned off. He frowned, hand blindly searching the wall for the light switch. It takes him a second, eyes not fully adjusted to the dark before he flick on the overhead lights. A dim light fills the room partially illuminating it, and the person sat on his bed.

George Russell is sat on his bed dressed simply black lacy bralette, with black lace panties, and a a matching set of thin black garter belts adorning her thigh.

“Happy Birthday.” She whispered, voice soft and nervous, cheeks dusted a light pink. Her eyes remained on the floor refusing to meet Max’s gaze.

Max was staring.

He couldn’t take his gaze off his, eyes slowly raking over her barely clothed body, desperately trying to take in George’s appearance.

“Sorry, this was stupid.” George seems to shrink into himself under Max’s gaze, legs squeezing together, arms wrapping around her exposed midriff.

“Hey, no.” He isn’t even aware of when he walked across the room, it’s like he blinks and he’s across, crawling up the bed, resting a reassuring hand on George’s thigh. “You look..” he mummers running his hand up the exposed portion of George’s thigh, revealing in the way she automatically spreads her legs for him. “Fuck, Princess.”

“L-Lando thought you might like it.” she mumbled looked away, cheeks darkening. Max had never loved Lando Norris more than he did in this moment.

“He was right you look fucking perfect.” he mumbled, head dipping between her legs, teeth lightly grazing the tender flesh of her inner thigh. He heard the way her breath hitched, fingers threading through Max’s hair.

[lindzem]

THE SUGAR WITCH

"Frost, did you hear me?"

Jack jerked from his own thoughts and looked at his teacher, Miss Bellamy pointing at her board.

"Y-Yes ma'am. Sorry I--"

"Then would you please come up and solve the arithmatic problem."

Jack swallowed, but forced a smile.

"Yes, certainly."

He stood from his desk and walked up to the board. He knew his equations well enough, but his mind was too worried about other things. Much too worried. He took the chalk and wrote an answer.

"That's wrong, Frost. The answer is 35. Go sit back down and get your head out of the clouds."

Jack shuffled back to his desk and sunk down in his chair. He couldn't wait for the school day to be over.

Finally Miss Bellamy released them and Jack was the first one to sprint out of the building. He ran as fast he could through the town amd to the farm he called home. It wasn't much. It was quaint and cozy, with good crops and some small animals. However, when he heard a commotion from the barn, his eyes widened with panic.

"Augh--! What in heavens name-!?"

Jack rushed to the barn, dropping his school satchel and yanking open the doors. He saw his caretaker, North laying on his back in the pig pen cursing in a different language. Jack leapt over and helped him stand.

"North, what are you doing out of bed?! I said I'd take care of the chores when I got home!"

North groaned and stood, cracking his back a little.

"Oh, Jack, did not know you would be home so soon."

"I come home about the same time everyday--"

"Baghk--Nevermind. I am not going to lay in bed all day when there is work to be done--Buuaghuagh-!"

The older man hacked and sputtered some dry hard coughs. Jack clenched his jaw, the deep worry all over his face.

"Please, you need to rest."

North pushed Jack away a bit.

"Nonsense, I am fine! I have never felt stronger, see?"

The bearded man strolls over and attempts to grab an axe out of a tree stump, but it won't budge. Jack knew North was strong as an Ox when healthy, but this time he knew he had caught a terrible cold that was getting worse.

"North..."

"Just one second!"

"North please can we just--"

"Hold on, almost got it--"

"NORTH!!!"

The older man stopped and slowly turned back to the young teenager, whose chest was heaving and tears were streaming down his cheeks. North's expression immediately softened and he went over and hugged Jack lovingly.

"Alright, my boy. Alright....I am sorry. Please do not cry. I will be better soon enough."

Jack sniffled and smiled a little. They both went back inside the house.

The next day, Jack awoke to find North in a cold sweat, wheezing and hacking. A deep fear struck through Jack's heart. He grabbed his cloak and rushed to the doctor's house in town. He knocked on the door, practically banging until it opened and he saw Dr. Higgins standing there. He looked a bit annoyed to see Jack again, but also a bit sad.

"Dr. Higgins, please, I need you to come take another look at North right away--"

"Hold your horses, Jack. Have you been giving him the tonic I prescribed?"

"Yes, every day twice a day, just like you said--!"

"Then there isn't anymore I can do for him."

"Please, I beg you, it will just take a minute--"

"Jack, no. Im sorry. I have other patients. I do truly hope North recovers and you have my deepest sympathies. Good day, Frost."

Jack steps aside and watches in shock as Dr. Higgins moves past and leaves. He stands there for a few minutes looking heartbroken amd hopeless. Until another boy he knew from school named Terry spots him. He jogs across the street to meet him.

"Jack! Hey, Jack! What are you doing?"

Jack turns his face away, not wanting Terry to see him crying.

"Nothing...I was just leaving."

Terry watches Jack start to walk away, but catches up to his side.

"It's about North, isn't it..."

Jack sniffled and didn't respond. Terry piped up a little.

"Hey, I'm not suppossed to really say anything but...there's been a rumor going around lately at school."

"I don't have time for stupid pranks, Terry--"

"It's about a witch."

Jack pauses and eyes him.

"A witch?...Are you kidding me?"

"They say that if you bring her a bag of sugar and a name of a person, she'll curse your enemies. So we call her the Sugar Witch."

"And she...can do magic?"

"Well, yeah, Johnathan swears that he brought her two bags of sugar and asked her to put a curse on Riley for bullying him. The next day Riley was tripping everywhere he went! Everyone saw it! But you have to do it at night, they say. Head south until you find the giant burned tree stump and place your offering there."

Jack laughed and wiped his tears away.

"Thank you, Terry! Thank you! I won't forget this!"

Jack sprinted off as fast as his legs could carry him to the store. He used all of his allowance to purchase 5 bags of sugar. He stuffed them in his satchel and raced off back home to the farm. He checked in on North to find the man sleeping deeply. With a hopeful smile, the boy snatched a lantern and ran back outside off into the forest as the sun started to go down.

Jack went south and finally found the burned giant tree stump. It was quickly becoming dark and the forest was dangerous at night to get lost in.

He gently took out the bags of sugar and set them down neatly onto the stump next to his lantern. A breeze kicked up and the wind moaned all around eeriely. Jack shivered and looked around at the the encroaching shadows.

"This is lunacy...why did I do this?"

He cleared his throat and yelled.

"OH GREAT, UH...SUGAR WITCH! HEED MY PLEA AND SEE MY OFFERINGS OF--!!!"

Suddenly a voice rang sharply back close by.

"No need to yell! Heavens above, boy!"

Jack stood there frozen as he watched a tall slender woman with grey skin and short black hair step out from behind a tree just across the way. Her eyes, golden like the crowns of kings, seemed to glow and watch him in the darkness. Jack was terrified that he had angered her! He braced for an attack of some sort to punish him for his insolence. Until she just yawned loudly and stretched. She strolled lazily over and looked at the bags of sugar. She raised a brow and laughed.

"My goodness, you've brought so much. I can bake up a storm with all this sweet crystal goodness~!"

Jack slowly lowered his guard to see that she was inspecting all the bags rather nonchalantly. Her dress was as black as her hair and he spotted the slit v neck down her chest low to eccentuate her breasts.

He blushed and yanked his gaze away, never having seen any woman dress so boldly.

"I-I have brought you your sugar, now I would like to ask for your help..."

He spoke softer, fearful that she might curse him if he said or did anything she didnt like.

The woman nodded and sat down on the stump, crossing her legs and inspecting her long nails.

"Alright kid, make this snappy. Whaddaya want in return? Want me to put a curse on someone? Turn their hair gray? Put worms in their food? Make someone trip a lot? I got all kinds of curses, just name it."

Jack bit his lip nervously.

"I...I don't want to curse anyone. I came to request your magic to help my father. He's very ill and he's not getting better..."

The witch jerked up and stared straight at Jsck ith the most perplexed look. He had caught her offguard.

"You...want my *help*?"

Jack couldn't stop his desperation from showing through. He dove and knelt at her feet and bowed his head, clinging to her dress while he sobbed.

"Please, I'm begging you! You're my last hope...!"

The witch's eyes widened in shock at this boy before her. A terrified child with nowhere else to turn. She sighed and groaned in annoyance, letting her empathy get the better of her.

"Ok, fine, just stop getting your snot all over my dress! Ughh...This is gonna be a doozy..."

[oldtimesart]

BRINGING A BLACKSAND (pitch x sandman) I NEVER SHOW AND A MOONLIGHT (the man in the moon x midnight ) in my old doll style

I still in love whit this ships and very proud of this style and i love what a BIG WOMAN THE MAN IN THE MOON GB IS HEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHE

[thechangeling]

Ok this is me trying to create a master list for my fanfiction. These aren't in chronological order and some of them are really old.

Helen Blackthorn:

I was the one who found him

Ty and Helen oneshot before the ending scene in LOS.

Be wise enough to wonder, be brave and let it go

Helen and Mark reflect on their childhoods.

Fire

Helen learns what Jace said in COHF and goes off.

Haline:

I'm at your mercy

R-rated haline post-date fic.

Don't let the basterds get you down

Helen is having a bad day, luckily Aline is there for her.

Kierarktina:

I don't care if I'm forgiven

A continuation of the Kiertina infirmary scene.

The lucky ones

Kierarktina proposal fic.

You have found two

Cristina breaks down and Tessa knows exactly what to say to comfort her. Polyam pride y'all.

And maybe one day I'll get around to fixing myself too

An exploration of enneagram Two Cristina Mendoza Rosales.

Six of crows:

I feel safe in the 5 am light

Six of crows Kanej fic.

Kit character peices:

For better or worse, I am alive

Kit struggles with depression.

Say my name or I won't survive

Kit comes out to Jessa as nonbinary.

Shame

Kit reflects on his life and his sexual orientation

She burns like rum on a fire

Kit deals with abuse

What's in your head

5 times Kit didn't realize he had ADHD.

Part 2

...and the one time he did.

According to you

Kit struggling with undiagnosed ADHD. Ft. Janessa.

Kitty fics:

When no one's watching part 1

When Kit gets seriously injured, Ty comes to see him.

Part 2

Kit wakes up.

The day the earth stood still

Kitty's first meeting from Ty's pov.

Eutony in a whisper

Genderbent kitty

There's nothing to be afraid of

The first fic I ever wrote when I was 18! Set before QOAAD, Kit goes to see Magnus for help.

The Game: A ten things I hate about you Au.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The one thing you can never do

Kitty reunion on the roof.

Kitty fluff

Just some sweet morning kitty fluff.

Kitty snippet

Just a snippet, not a full fic.

Out of our heads. Out of our minds.

Ty misses Kit, but he's seeing Anush. Terrible decisions are made.

Ty's letter to Kit

Ty writes to Kit during TWP.

Lost and Found

Kit and Ty reunion. Only Ty gets to say his peice.

No one's gonna take you away from me

Kit and Ty are being adorable, happy and in love, until Julian walks in.

Power

In a world full of chaos, Ty attempts to remain in control. Featuring sex favorable Kit Herondale.

Tell me a story

Ty doesn't believe in fate

But you like her better: Part 1 Part 2

Kit has a new girlfriend. Ty might be jealous.

If I keep my eyes closed: Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6: FINAL CHAPTER!

5 times people saw Ty wearing the Herondale necklace and thought Kit and Ty were dating, and the one time they were actually right.

I will pull you so close

Kitty being adorable and stargazing together. Based on Venus by SAL.

Pitch black, pale blue

Kit's internal struggle as he deals with his feelings for Ty, based on Neptune by SAL.

My armour falls apart

Ty is determined to protect Kit. No matter what.

All I wanted

Kit and Livvy's kiss from Ty's pov.

Terrified with the lights out: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Ty is dying from his connection to Livvy's ghost. But Kit is determined to save him, whatever the cost.

I wash my mouth out, but still taste you

Fwb kitty. These dumbasses do not know how to communicate.

Ty character peices:

The Box

Ty dealing with trauma, disassociation and ableism. Features my OC Alyssa.

Love

Ty deals with some dark shit.

Ty's vows

Ty's wedding vows to Kit. I honestly think this is the best fic I've ever written.

Enough

Ty needs to get his mind off of Kit. Features my OC Alyssa.

I used to say that there was no such thing as we

Ty meets another autistic person at the scholomance and they bond.

The island of misfit toys

Christmas at the Scholomance.

The Changeling

Ty and Kieran talk about identity

Tell me I'm wrong

Ty breaks down in front of Livvy

Five

Christopher Lightwood leaves a letter that Ty finds, and quickly realizes it was meant for him.

Not the only freak

Ty has worries. Alyssa eases his mind.

Seven days

Ty's log of his attempts at sobriety.

The wall

Ty learns that he is autistic.

Oh love, I'm sorry if I smothered you

After seeing Kit at Blackthorn hall, Ty breaks down.

OC POVS:

Little Girl

Character exploration fic about my OC Alyssa.

Who we've been dying to become

A fic about Alyssa and Kit being enneagram fours and bonding over it.

Me and I are not friends

A character peice on my OC Lizzie

Your heartbeat is disguised as mine

One shot about my OC Janessa and her friendship with Kit.

Friend make sense of me

On her way to meet up with Ty, Alyssa meets Jaime Rosales...

I remember the minute

Janessa opens up to Kit about her past

Loveless

Alyssa teaches Ty to dance and lets herself love again.

Not gonna write you a love song

Future generation:

Alyssa Reyes is lonely. But not for the reasons people think.

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

Alyssa seeks out Kieran in her time of need.

Aimless

A story about aged up Mina Carstairs.

Despair

Part 2 of Aimless

The Fall

One shot about my OC Gianna, the eldest Kierarktina child.

Thanessa:

Nightblooming

A oneshot between my OC Janessa and Thaís Pedroso. Janessa and Thaís go on their first date.

Only love

Thais confesses her feelings to Janessa.

The price of this so called perfection

Rule following, self-policing Thaís learns how to stand up for themself. Ft. Nonbinary, enneagram one Thaís.

Thaís' list

Thaís has a lot of things they can't stand about Janessa....

TLH:

Unbreak the broken

Alastair goes for a late night walk and tries to calm his chaotic mind. Ft. Autistic Alastair.

Wake up

Thomas decides to finally be honest with Alastair, and himself. Enneagram Nine Thomas.

Enneagram fics:

And maybe one day I'll get around to fixing myself too

An exploration of enneagram Two Cristina Mendoza Rosales.

Five

Christopher Lightwood leaves a letter that Ty finds, and quickly realizes it was meant for him.

Who we've been dying to become

A fic about Alyssa and Kit being enneagram fours and bonding over it.

The price of this so called perfection

Rule following, self-policing Thaís learns how to stand up for themself. Ft. Nonbinary, enneagram one Thaís.

I remember the minute

Janessa opens up to Kit about her past.

Wake up

Thomas decides to finally be honest with Alastair, and himself. Enneagram Nine Thomas.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/23/21

vacation problems, baybee

listening pitch black, by sencit feat. lady blackbird (deathloop soundtrack). i do not think i will be playing this game since a particular twist was revealed to me (if i had two nickels &tc) and my backlog is already...very long, but this track is a banger. i like this more than many “real” james bond movie opening songs

reading mawrth valliis, by EPHK. the schtick is “presented in the original martian” which i think could have been a stronger creative choice if there was less dialogue? the lettering is very pretty, but it’s sort of a frustrating read. i fucking hate the character design and the twist, but the art is lovely in a very textural way, and i’m a sucker for pages like this. 126 p is not a lot of my time wasted

watching the anime otherside picnic is based off the light novel (and manga adaptation) of otherside picnic by iori miyazawa, itself based off the novel roadside picnic by the strugatsky brothers. in short, otherside picnic is a gay genderbent college AU isekai that manages to capture some of the psychological horror and financial desperation of the original. still with me? available free here (legally, even! you’re welcome).

i care about these girls in a way i don’t usually with anime. part of this is bc this anime does tick all my boxes- young lesbians figuring themselves out, who grow into a well-oiled pair that also goofs around on their off time, a perpetually exasperated handler/patron, The City Is Alive And Will Get You, it’s an adaptation of one of my favorite things, jokes about the availability and type of guns in open-world RPGs that made me laugh like a hyena. there’s a bit about someone growing their hair out that genuinely gutted me. i am probably going to buy physical copies of these light novels bc apparently the POV voice is Quite Something and they’re more explicitly gay.

the animation is Fine, the sound mixing is quite good imo, the emotional arcs were satisfying, i really love halfhour shows bc it’s so easy to watch a whole season in like three days if you’re not careful. hour-long shows are Appointment Television. that’s a Time Investment i simply do not always have

this show (unfortunately) features the US military stationed at okinawa (the marines ARE the ones most likely to get themselves into this sort of situation tbh) and therefore cannot let anything really bad happen to them although i really do think they should just be left to tear each other apart in the Zone/otherside

playing still having a Time with meshes not meshing in sable (also a piece of graffiti i needed to follow to start a quest simply...wasn’t there?) but it’s very forgivable, imo. i am willing to put up with a lot for a pretty game with mysterious solar-system spanning mysteries and wrecked ships to climb around. 4/6 of the way done with the ship AI quest and i am extremely excited and also pre-grieving what i think happened

ANYWAY. BIG DISH YAAAAAAY

making found :) dead :) moths :) in :) my :) new :) sewing :) machine :) cabinet :) so that’s been fumigated to the best of my ability, please cross your fingers i did not introduce clothes moths to my house bc that’s the last fucking thing i need (sewing machine backstory here)

so i haven’t actually started sewing anything yet, and the first thing i was going to make was a new ironing board cover, so it’s hard to prep anything. am i starting with any of the half finished projects i have already cut out? heavens fucking no we’re going to do something with this dreadful flag print i picked up in the summer. setting invisible zippers, truly my beloathed

pattern companies: it’s a shift dress...with a TWIST!

me, every time: it’s a shift dress... with a TWIST!!! :0

[atemins]

Genderbent Kai fanfiction (Ninjago warning very bad)

I went through some old documents and I found this very old very bad Lego Ninjago fanfiction. So this is a rewrite of the pilot episode of when Kai joins the Ninja but as a girl. Thought it was a brilliant idea at the time and now I’m cringing.

Kailee’s life had never really been the best, sure she had an amazing older sister and they’ve had had enough savings to get them both enrolled in school so they both had an education, (Nya being 15 and Kailee being 13)  they, of course, worked in all their free time being orphans and all. But all in all, they were pretty happy, their father had teched Nya how to smith and she in turn, when they lost their parents, taught Kai so they could take turns running the shop. Kai was not very good as a blacksmith but she was terrible with customers so she more often than not ran the smithing part whilst Nya took orders. So life was pretty ok, not good, but it could be worse. That changed when an old man suddenly turned up at their shop. Kai being impatient asked the old man to leave when he didn’t want to buy anything. Shortly after of course Skeletons turned up and Kai being better with the combat part (in her opinion) opted to protect her older sister but of course, Nya wanted to protect Kai so she jumped in the way of the skeleton claw when it tried to capture Kai. The old man turned up and saved Kai from a falling pole.

After some crying (Kai only had some dirt in her eyes she swears) Master Wu took Kai to train her into a ninja. After some intense sweaty days, Kai stood in the mirror and took in her appearance. Kai had always had very long hair, spiky but long, but now it was cut jagged falling just above her shoulder. Green eyes stared back at her where she stood, in the red pajamas she had been gifted she looked like a boy. Not that she had a problem with that but Kai had always been the girlier between her and Nya. That also reminded her of how her education had been cut short, how miserable. She was just about to leave when something moved behind her, instantly she was on her toes. When three hooded black-clad figures attacked her she fought back, the battle moved them outside where Kai activated the training course to even the odds. She was just about to kick one of the attackers when Wu came out.

Instantly the three intruders lined up and bowed, Kai was so confused.

“Sensei we found an intruder,” a deep scrowly voice said.

“Yeah sensei did you see how we kicked his butt?” an energetic slightly pitched voice said.

“Excuse me who are you calling intruder, intruder?” Kai said, offended at being called a dude.

“Ey man why is your voice so squeaky,” the energetic one asked.

Kai shot him a death glare but before she could respond Master Wu spoke.

“Enough my students”

“What!! they are your student too” Kai said in disbelief. “This was the test you talked about?”

“Wait hold on, back the train what?” the energetic one said throwing his hands up in disbelief. “You never said anything about a forth. Have you never heard of the magical three? three little pigs, three musketeers, three….”

“What he means sensei is that we already are a group, we’re solid,” the deep voice said.

“Not so solid looking to me,” Kai said earning her a dirty look  

“Master what is the meaning of this?” the final voice said sounding kinda, robotic.

“You four has been chosen for a very special reason, all of you have an elemental power burning in you, Ninja go!” Wu said starting a spinjitzu.

They all looked at their new outfit and weapons, Kai now held a katana in her hands and noticed the she now had the same clothes the others had but in red.

“Jay, blue and the master of lightning,” Wu said.

“Ha, that’s not all I’m the master of, I do a little inventing,i dabble in model building, touch of cooking a little poetry……”

“Cole, black, solid as rock and master of earth” Wu said cutting Jay of.

Cole swung his scythe pointing it at Kai.

“Nice to meet you new kid, I’ve got your back,and for the record there ain't nothing in this world I’m afraid of.

“Except for dragons,” The white one said.

“Dragons are not from this world Zane, I said IN this world,” Cole said crossing his arms.

“White ninja, Zane master of ice and sear with sixth sense,” Master Wu said.

Zane did some showing off.

“I can sense this one takes it a bit too seriously,” Kai said to Cole.

“You too have the gift?” Zane said making Jay explain that is was a joke promoting Zane to let out the fakest laugh Kai had ever heard.

“And Kailee, the newest member, and master of fire,” Wu said drawing all the attention to her.

“Wait, isn’t Kailee a girls name??” Jay asked when Kai took down her hood.

She scowled at him and was about to retort when Wu cut her off.

“Attention!! You four are the chosen ones who will protect the four weapons of Spinjitzu, from Lord Garmadon.” Wu said paying no attention to his students.

“But what about MY sister?!” Kai said angrily.

“Wait we’re saving a girl, is she hot?” Jay said leaning in to Kai.

“JAY!” Cole said.

“What?! I just want to know what we are getting ourselves into,” Jay said defensively. “Does she like blue?”

“Back off,” Kai said growling

“When we find the weapons, we will find your sister,” Sensei Wu said. “It is time, we must go to the first weapon.

“Wait you said you were going to teach us spinjitzu,” Cole spoke up.

“Spinjitzu is in each and every one of you, the key will only be unlocked when it’s ready to be found,” Wu said. “Come! my feet are tired, we will take the horse carriage.” Wu started to walk away.

“Ok before we move on I must ask Kailee, are you trans or like non-binary or something? Jay asked curiously. “You know to not disrespect you or anything dude.” he defended when Kai shoot him a death glare.

“No, I’m a fucking girl can’t you tell?” Kai said growling at him.

“No way, we have to babysit a girl sensei?” Cole asked in disbelief getting a nod of agreement from Zane making the old man stop

“Yes sensei we can’t afford someone weaker to follow us, what we do is dangerous,” he said.

Kai was fuming.

“Wait how old are you?” Jay asked making the taller ones stare at her.

“What does it matter?” she answered angrily.

“Well both me and Cole are 16 and Jay is 15 so it would be optimal if you were around our age as well,” Zane said matter of factly.

“13, I’m 13 and it doesn’t matter if I’m younger I can still fight!” Kai said practically smoking from rage.

“WHAT!!?” the three boys stared at her. “Sensei she’s not only a girl but a kid too, we can’t babysit we’re ninjas!”

Before Wu could speak Kai moved and fast as lightning kicked all the boys where the sun won’t shine and they all crumbled to the ground.

“Well I expect you to be ready we will be leaving soon,” Wu said turning around to walk inside.

Kai followed turning around to stick her tongue out at the groning boys.

Ugh boys, she thought bitterly.

[saturnseobie]

One Last Time || Park Jisung

Genre: Fluff, best friends to lovers!au, nonidol!au. Part of the @neo-the-stars-net halloween collab

Pairing: best friend!jisung x fem reader

Word Count: 2.9k (I didn’t intend for this to happen)

Warning/s: Mentions of fake blood (red paint), singular mention of alcohol (not consumed by either party)

Synopsis: Senior year. Full of teenagers trying to pack the most into their last year of high school to make it memorable. You and Jisung have decided that this year will be the end of your tradition, trick or treating. Better make it count, right?

A/N: I was so happy to be able to be a part of this collab and a special thanks to @ncitythoughts for letting me bounce ideas off you. I really appreciate it, elle! This concept also one my favourites. I also couldn’t find a gif of it but the costume that jisung is in is his one from Halloween 2018! Enjoy, spookies!

Adding the final touches to your makeup, you smiled brightly at your mirror image and stood up, looking the same reflection up and down at your costume. You had recently found your obsession with Stephen King horror movies, your favourite of which being It. You knew that was basic, but the character design of Pennywise was something that continued to fascinate you. So, with your slowly growing sewing capability and enough dedication, you created your genderbent Pennywise cosplay. White top with ruffled sleeves, ruffle white skirt, a lot of white, but for a bit of fun (and what was pretty much canon) you had splattered the clean material with red paint, creating fake bloodstains.

Now your face was coloured white and your lips were shaded into the creepy and sinister smile that Pennywise always harboured. Once satisfied with your reflection, you turned to your best friend. “What do you think?” You called out to him, drawing his attention away from the whiskers he was drawing on his cheeks. He looked you up and down for a moment before smiling.

“Truly terrifying.” Jisung smiled, turning back to his reflection to add the last whisker. He placed down the eyeliner pen and stood up. Jisung’s costume was also mainly white, but his taking on a more animalistic and innocent portrayal, polar opposite to your ‘blood’ splattered clothes.

“Look at you, Jwi. So cute.” You said, playfully pinching his cheeks, causing him to groan.

“Y/N stop~ We’re not five anymore.” He stated.

He was right. You weren’t five anymore. You were both eighteen and in your final year of high school. Funniest thing about this whole thing is that you didn’t even know Jisung when you were five. The two of you didn’t meet until you were eleven and the seating plan the teacher had set up had graciously introduced you to Jisung, the soft spoken, gangly boy who spent way too much time in the gymnasium for your liking, yet the two of you became inseparable.

To be quite honest, you had no idea how it happened, it just did. Asking for solutions for the math homework ended up turning into the most important friendship you’ve made.

“Y/N! Y/N! Are you ready?” Your little sister, Gyuri squawked, running into your room in her cheap Halloween store Princess Aurora dress. The young girl was six and only came up to Jisung’s knee, but her excitement was measured to approximately seven feet tall. It was the first year that your mother had let her go trick or treating but only if you went with her, and knowing Jisung, he wasn’t going to mind the girl tagging along. You knew he was very much whipped for Gyuri and she looked up to Jisung like the older brother she never had.

“Give us a minute, GyuGyu. We’re almost done here. Why don’t you go and get the little bags I bought. They’re the purple and black bags I put on the kitchen table. There’s one for each of us, and our names are written on them. Can you do that for me?” You said, slowly shrinking down to her level so she hopefully wouldn’t be to intimidated by the creepy clown makeup, but thankfully she remained bubbly.

“I can do that!” She said, her hands curling up into little fists before running back out the door she had entered not long before.

“Does she ever just...stop?” Jisung asked. He was honestly jealous with how much energy the six year old had. You shook your head, a reminiscent shine glazing over your eyes. You didn’t recognise the trance you were in until Jisung was waving his hands in front of you.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Do you copy?” Jisung huffed, his big brown eyes almost touching your own. Your eyes finally snap back to now and you see how close in proximity your face was from his.

“Yes, I copy. Now get out of my face.” You rolled your eyes, shoving Jisung away from you. He chuckled and stepped away from you, a warm feeling buzzing in his chest. A buzz he recognised way too well, and one he only felt when he was with you.

“Okay you two, stand in front of the door. I think you know the drill.” Your mom smiled, camera clamped firmly in her hand as she gestured towards you and Jisung.

Another one for the scrapbook

You shuffled towards the tall boy, looking towards your mom and smiled. Jisung did the same. His heart shaped smile revealed his teeth and gums to the camera and your mother couldn’t stop herself from fawning over him a few seconds after the shuttering of the camera was heard.

“Aww, Jisungie, dont you just look adorable?” She cooed, making you roll your eyes. “Mom, stop it~ It’s embarrassing~”

“What? Am I not allowed to compliment someone?” She teased back before you rolled your eyes and strutted over to see the photo, a soft smile gliding across your face. This was really the end of your tradition, huh?

You and Jisung retreated back to your bedroom and from under your bed, you pulled out a scrapbook with its spine cracked from how many times it had been opened.

It had been your mother’s idea to scrapbook your friendship. Although you thought it was dumb at first, you’re really glad she had suggested it. Calling for Jisung to pass you one of your many orange gel pens, you made small decorations in the page before writing ‘Halloween, Senior Year’ at the top in cursive and glued the picture onto the page.

You couldn’t help but flick back to your very first Halloween together, you dressed in a cheap princess dress and crown (very similar to your little sister’s), and Jisung in an equally as cheap vampire costume, complete with fake teeth. Your pumpkin shaped candy buckets clutches tightly in your hands.

The more pages you flip, the more you watched yourselves grow. Jisung went to being shorter than you to being five feet taller than you and you grew into your body and developed as every girl did.

“God, I was so cringey back then.” Jisung groaned when he saw what picture you were looking at.

“And what makes you think you grew out of that?”

“And what makes you think that...that...” He tried to find something to fire back at you but all he came up with were bent bullets.

“Better luck next time, Sungie.” You smirked slyly, your hand creating a ‘V’ on his face and squishing his cheeks. He puffed his cheeks out and stood up, walking towards your little sister, who was busy imitating a spinning top in her dress.

“Gyuri! You silly, if you keep spinning like that, you won’t be able to come trick or treating with us!” Jisung told her, placing his hands lightly on her back to stop her. Gyuri stumbles for a second when she stopped before smiling up at Jisung.

“I’ve stopped now. Can we go?” She asked excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her heels and with a singular nod from your mother, she squealed (which rang through room in a pitch you didn’t like to think about) and grabbed her little black and purple bag and raced to your side.

“I take it you’re ready to go?” You asked the little girl, who nodded her head enthusiastically. You looked back to Jisung, but his eyes were trained to your sibling and an unconscious smile touched your lips.

“Have fun, kids!” Your mother voice broke your train of thought and you nodded.

“We’ll see you later, mom!”

As dusk turned to nightfall, you, your best friend and your little sister went to the doors of the decorated houses, which broke the familiarity of the normal picket fences neighbourhood. The excited rap on every house’s door was opened with an equally excited parent, placing candy into each of your buckets. There were a few who questioned you and your friend, asking if you were too old for dress up.

“It’s been our tradition for years. It’s what brought us closer together.” You would always tell them before taking Gyuri’s hand and skipping back up the path and onto the next house.

By 9pm, Gyuri was in Jisung’s arms, fast asleep, her pudgy cheek squished up against her eye. The stars were out now and the moon’s reflective rays were the only thing that lit up your path aside from the occasional streetlight. You opened up the front door, Jisung pushing passed you to deliver the six year old to your mother.

“Are you two going to stay out a little later?” She asked the boy. He nodded. “Yes, we are but not too much later.” He promised. Your mom smiled. If there was anyone who was just as whipped for Jisung as you were, it was your mother.

“Alright but no later than midnight, alright kids?” She called out as Jisung made his way to the door. With a call of reassurance delivered, you and Jisung left the house once more and began to wander the streets.

The memories from the past seven years crashed over your mind like a tidal wave, images of a younger set of best friends, running like crazy through the streets, playing chasy with all the other neighbourhood kids while the parents sat around and drank and conversed. The memories of your younger self. A younger friendship, a younger mindset, a younger crush.

Neither you ever confessed your feelings but you lost count of how many people (particularly adults) who assumed you were a couple.

“Do you remember when I would sleep over, if the sky was clear, we would say we would sleep under the stars but chicken out and just sleep in your room?” You reminisced on the story aloud, Jisung giggling in return.

“Yeah. We were so scared something like a cougar was gonna eat us or something.” His laughter picked up again, his eyes squinting as he did.

“The wild imagination of a child, I guess.” You concluded, falling back into comfortable silence before stumbling across a part of the neighbourhood that was all too familiar.

The woods.

Many games of hide and seek and murder in the dark were played here, the latter being played with other friends and children on the same street. You remember the nights of giggling until your sides ached, hiding until you had to find the seekers, being too good that you were always made the seeker.

“We basically know every inch of that wood.” Jisung cocked his head to the side, trying to peer into the wood, seeing if there were any creatures of the night lurking around. There weren’t but it wouldn’t hurt to check.

“I remember making so many cubby houses with Yuna and Seulgi. You, Renjun and Chenle wouldn’t let us into yours so we made our own. Turns out ours was much more stable when it came to windy days.” You teased, letting your shoes tease the edge between the woodly maze and the street. Jisung scrunched his nose up and folded his arms, mumbling something about Chenle being dumb and Renjun being just as dumb when it came to stability.

Jisung stood there for a second longer, before his eyes lit up with an idea. “We should play hide and seek.”

You snapped your head towards him so fast, it almost gave you whiplash. “Huh?”

Jisung looked at you and felt his chest was about to explode from the warmth inside it. “I mean, if we’re stopping our tradition tonight, might as well finish it properly. Let’s play hide and seek one last time, before we become boring adults stuck in office jobs and getting more paper cuts than hours of sleep.”

You couldn’t see why not

“Since it was your suggestion, you’re the seeker.” You declared as you dashed into the woods, looking for the same pile of old plywood that you would hide behind and no one could ever seem to find you. Jisung tried to protest but you were too far into the wood that his complaints fell onto deaf ears.

You could hear Jisung’s footsteps approaching and distancing themselves from the spot you sat. ‘Even after all these years, that idiot still can’t find me.’ You thought to yourself. You checked your phone and you had been crouched in the same position for ten minutes.

“Y/N! Y/N! Where are you?” You heard Jisung’s voice echoing from the other side of the wood.

“Over here, you stupid!” You called out, knowing that he was nowhere near close to finding you. He dashed back to the centre of the forest, looking around and trying to pinpoint where your voice had called out to him moments ago.

“Where’s here?” He asked, but this time, no reply. He groaned before calling your phone. You were quick to decline the desperate boy’s plea and watched as he tossed his head back in annoyance. You watched him slowly make his way closer to you, and you were in perfect alignment with his ankles. Yes. Yes. This is what you wanted.

One step. Two steps.

When he reached his third step, you grasped his right ankle, causing the boy to screech in a high pitch and high decibel rating. You were laughing your ass off, while Jisung calmed his racing heart (mind you, you were dressed as a psychopathic clown). You pouted at him before wrapping your arms around him.

“I’m so sorry. I saw the opportunity and I had to take it. Please please forgive me.” You pleaded, squeezing him tightly and listening as his heart slowed, but his heart still had a skipping rhythm to it.

“I suppose I can. But I can’t promise anything.” Jisung sighed out, plonking down at the base of a thick oak tree whose branches reached over the night sky, obscuring the stars that dimly shimmered above. You sat down beside him and sighed, your head resting against the tree.

Jisung watched over your smiling form, your fascination with the stars saving him from being caught staring at you. His heartbeat quickened once more and unbeknownst to him, a soft pink hue poked at his cheeks and reddened his ears.

“Y/N?” He called out to you, pulling you from your starry trance. You caught the flaming red that flowed on the tips of his ears.

“Yeah, Sungie?”

“Can I tell you something? Something I’ve been hiding from you?” His question was hesitant and his tone was shy, like he was scared of your reaction.

“Jisung, we’ve been friends for years. You don’t need to ask me to tell me something.” You chuckled, nudging his arm to try and get him to lighten up. The blush in his cheeks darkened crazily fast and he sighed.

“I’velikedyouforareallylongtimebu-” His words were jumbled and close together and you couldn’t understand anything he was saying.

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down, Jwi. Take a deep breath and try again.” You reassured him, turning your body towards him and rubbing his shoulders. Jisung followed your instructions, sighing out his breath and trying again.

“I’ve liked you for a really long time but I didn’t know how to tell you. I felt like tonight would be my last chance before I chickened out again.” This time, you understood him and you couldn’t quite still your pounding heart.

“You don’t have to accept and I know this might ruin our friendship but I had to shoot my shot, you know and Haechan said-”

“I like you too.” You interjected, your own cheeks dusting pink. There was a silence, filled with processed emotions and spiked heartbeats.

“So...”

“Guess Renjun was right.” Jisung snapped his head towards you. “What do you mean?” You chuckled at the boy’s confused face and hummed.

“He said that if we didn’t like each other by the end of high school, there was something wrong with us.” Jisung scrunched up his face and mimicked the words you just, imitating Renjun’s voice. “Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong.” You smiled, picking yourself up and dusting off your knees and butt.

“How long have you liked me?” Jisung asked, standing up himself as the two of you started to wander aimlessly. You looked up to the sky in thought, the stars helping you connect the question to the last seven years.

“Since I was like...13? 14? We had been friends for a while but I kept it quiet because you were still dating Heejin.” You could hear Jisung audibly cringe at the name of his ex-girlfriend. Yes, he and Heejin were only together for two months but she was awfully clingy and had tried to drive you and Jisung apart.

“You know what’s good about this though?” Jisung said, looking back to you, still seeing the sparkle in your eye despite it being almost pitch black.

“What?” No sooner had you said that, you felt Jisung’s lips touch the burning skin of your cheeks and your face flushed red. He laughed at you before pulling your arm towards the street once more.

“I should get you home. Your mom said to be home by 12, didn’t she? Don’t want her thinking I’ve Up and left with her daughter.” He smiled at you.

As the two of you walked side by side, like you had done for years, your pinky fingers wrapped around each other as you set off home. Down the same road you had walked for years, with the person you loved more than anything.

[thedreammweaver]

Masterlist

No longer being updated, here’s my ao3

Gotham (TV):

Draft Dodgers chapter 1. (Nygmobblepot 60s AU

Draft Dodgers Chapter 2. (Nygmobblepot 60s AU)

Draft Dodgers Chapter 3 (Nygmobblepot 60s AU)

Try (Post 5x12 Nygmobblepot fluff)

But Lately I’ve Been Crying like a Tall Child (Young!Gertrud, baby!Oswald)

Poof ( Nygmobblepot Hurt/comfort, Angst, trans!Oswald)

Like a Stuck Penguin (Post 5x12 Nygmobblepot hurt/comfort, insecure!Oswald)

Save the Wedding Bells for My Returning (During the ten years nygmobblepot angst/fluff)

Goodbye Horses (Nygmobblepot AU, photographer!Oswald, Model!Ed)

A Bit of a Jam (Post 5x12 Nygmobblepot fluff)

Hate Myself For Loving You (Nygmobblepot angst)

Baby Blues (post 5x12 Nygmobblepot hurt/comfort, angst, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Operation “Friendship” (Nygmobblepot AU, hurt/comfort angst, jealous!imaginaryfriend!Oswald)

La Valse Du Sang (Post 5x12 nygmobblepot, vampire!Oswald)

Jump in the Saddle, Hold Onto the Bridle part 1 (Gotham Beetlejuice au, nygmobblepot)

John 6:53 (post 5x12 Nygmobblepot, cannibal!Oswald)

Stupid Cupid (Nygmobblepot fix-it fic, angst, hurt/comfort)

Yakety Yak (post 5x12 Nygmobblepot)

Latch On to the Affirmative (Post 5x12 nygmobblepot, Insecure!Oswald)

Rotten (Nygmobblepot, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Something About a Soldier (post 5x12 Nygmobblepot, jealous!Ed)

Baby, You Ain't Lookin’ Right part 1 (Post 5x12 Nygmobblepot, hurt/comfort)

Baby, You Ain’t Lookin’ Right part 2 FINAL (post 5x12 nygmobblepot, hurt/comfort)

Hurry Back, Hurry Back (Nygmobblepot, during/post the ten years au, angst, hurt/comfort)

The Lines We Cross (post 5x12 Nygmobblepot angst)

By the Light of the Silvery Moon (Nygmobblepot au, werewolf!Oswald)

Baby and All (Post 5x12 nygmobblepot, angst, hurt/comfort, trans!pregnant!Ed)

Kiss Me, Mother, Kiss Your Darling (Gotham AU, angst)

A Fuss Among Friends (Post 5x12, nygmobblepot, protective!Ed)

Feed Me (Nygmobblepot, little shop of horrors au, plant monster!Oswald)

A Safe Place to Nest (Post 5x12 nygmobblepot, trans!pregnant!Oswald

At Last (Nygmobblepot 5x12 au) 

Bump in the Night (Nygmobblepot)

Too Late (Oswald angst)

Unsought (Nygmobblepot, angst, hurt/comfort, trans!Ed)

Call of the Magpie part 1 (Nygmobblepot angst, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Call of the Magpie part 2 FINAL (Nygmobblepot angst, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

My Pretties (post 5x12 nygmobblepot)

Not Over Any Oceans Chapter 1 (Nygmobblepot, The Santa Clause 2 au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz, elf!Penn) 

Not Over Any Oceans Chapter 2 (Nygmobblepot, The Santa Clause 2 au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz, elf!Penn, Toy Santa!Burtonverse Oswald)

Not Over Any Oceans Chapter 3 (Nygmobblepot, The Santa Clause 2 au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz, elf!Penn, Toy Santa!Burtonverse Oswald)

Not Over Any Oceans Chapter 4 (Nygmobblepot, The Santa Clause 2 au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz, elf!Penn, Toy Santa!Burtonverse Oswald)

Not Over Any Oceans Chapter 5 (Nygmobblepot, The Santa Clause 2 au, Santa!Oswald, elf!Zsasz, elf!Penn, Toy Santa!Burtonverse Oswald)

Not Over Any Oceans Chapter 6 (Nygmobblepot, The Santa Clause 2 au, Santa!Oswald, elf!Zsasz, elf!Penn, Toy Santa!Burtonverse Oswald)

Not Over Any Oceans Chapter 7 FINAL (Nygmobblepot, The Santa Clause 2 au, Santa!Oswald, elf!Zsasz, elf!Penn, Toy Santa!Burtonverse Oswald)

Not Quite Down the Hatch (Young!Elijah x young!Gertrud, baby!Oswald)

Comfort and Joy (young!Elijah x young!pregnant!Gertrud)

Things Lost (Post 5x12 nygmobblepot)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 1 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 2 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 3 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 4 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 5 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 6 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 7 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 8 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 9 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 10 FINAL (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

Melt Away (Gotham au, young!elijah, young!pregnant!Gertrud)

Working In the Kinks (post 5x12 Nygmobblepot)

Uplift (Post 5x12 nygmobblepot, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

And They Were Cellmates (During the ten years AU, Nygmobblepot, angst)

Remembrance (Nygmobblepot, angst)

And You See Me, Somebody New (Post 5x12 nygmobblepot, mayor!Oswald)

When The Penny Drops (post 5x12 nygmobblepot, angst)

What A Headache (Nygmobblepot, mayor!Oswin)

Guten Abend, Gut’ Nacht (Nygmobblepot)

What You Told Me To Do (Gotham Interview With The Vampire AU, nygmobblepot)

A Better Son (Gotham Detroit: Become Human Au, android!Oswald)

Aw, nuts! (Gotham, nygmobblepot)

Better Than Expected (Nygmobblepot, pregnant!Oswin)

Oh, So Quiet (Gotham, nygmobblepot, teenage!Martin)

Every Night (Nygmobblepot)

Toddling Towards Greatness (Young!Elijah x young!Gertrud, baby!Oswald)

Batman (Burton-schumacherverse):

I Loaf You (Riddlebird Domestic fluff)

In the Meantime Let Me Tell You That I Love You (Riddlebird mild angst/fluff)

You Really Thought I’d Leave? ( Riddlebird hurt/comfort, angst, trans!Oswald, coming out)

Cramps (Riddlebird fluff, trans!Oswald)

Fever (Riddlebird Sick fic fluff)

Syncope (Riddlebird hurt/comfort, fluff)

Smitten for a kitten part 1. (Riddlebird Jealous!Ed)

Smitten for a kitten part 2. (Riddlebird Jealous!Ed, lonely!Oswald)

Smitten for a kitten part 3. (Riddlebird Jealous! Ed, lonely!Oswald)

Smitten for a Kitten Part 4. FINAL (Riddlebird, jealous!Ed, lonely!insecure!Oswald)

Old Abram (Riddlebird angst, major character death)

Wiegenlied (short riddlebird fluff)

Kinderszenen (riddlebird hurt/comfort)

Four’s a Crowd (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Four’s a Crowd continuation (riddlebird, Trans!Oswald)

Four’s a Crowd Part 3 (Riddlebird, trans!Oswald)

Not the Words of One Who Kneels (riddlebird angst, hurt/comfort, major character death)

Cough Syrup (riddlebird fluff)

A Bit of a Jam 2.0 (riddlebird, hurt/comfort)

Gut Rot (riddlebird hurt/comfort, embarrassed!Oswald)

With Drooping Wings Ye Cupids Come (Riddlebird, Victorian AU, angst, Doctor!Ed, Patient!Oswald)

Felicia No Capicia (riddlebird, Ace!Ed)

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (Riddlebird hurt/comfort, trans!Oswald)

Tickled Pink Penguin (riddlebird fluff)

One of These Mornin's, You're Gonna Rise Up Singin' (Victorian AU, hurt/comfort, Doctor!Ed, Patient!Oswald)

Cry Baby (riddlebird, hurt/comfort, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

La Petite Énigme (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Ed)

Don’t They Know It’s the End of the World (riddlebird, hurt/comfort, trans!pregnant!Ed) 

Friday Afternoon (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort, trans!Ed)

The Flood is Nigh (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

For the Good Times (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

You Are My Destiny (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

The Nightingale (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort, Trans!pregnant!Ed)

Living in a Material World (Riddlebird fluff)

From Lemons to Lemonade (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Disturbing the Suburban Routine (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Disturbing the Suburban Routine Continuation (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Lazy Lark (riddlebird fluff)

The Tide, I Declare, Does Carry Upon It the Scent of My Lover’s Perfume (riddlebird pirate au, merman!Oswald)

As the World Falls Down (Riddlebird, hurt/comfort)

Too Good to Be True part 1 (Riddlebird)

Too Good to Be True part 2 (Riddlebird)

Too Good to Be True part 3 FINAL (riddlebird)

A Little Bliss (riddlebird fluff, deaf!Oswald)

One Way or Another (Riddlebird)

I’ve Looked at Clouds from Both Sides Now (riddlebird bodyswap fic)

Nothing Guaranteed (riddlebird, angst, trans!Oswald)

Le Veau D'or (Pre-the events of Batman Returns, fix it fic?, vengeful!Penguin)

Puffy (riddlebird, hurt/comfort, trans!pregnant!Ed)

Kiss-Curl (riddlebird au, Hairdresser!Ed)

Flamingoes Have Nineteen (riddlebird hurt/comfort)

The Best Things In Life Come In Two’s part 1 (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Ed, yearning!Oswald)

The Best Things In Life Come In Two’s part 2 (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Ed, yearning!oswald)

The Best Things in Life Come in Two’s part 3 (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!ed)

The Entropy of Atrophy (riddlebird)

Dead Weight (Riddlebird, angst, vengeful!Oswald)

Words Don’t Come Easy (riddlebird, trans!Edward)

Somnolent Cygne (riddlebird au, Angel!Oswald, demon!Ed)

For the Love of All Things Purple (Joker x Penguin, lonely!Oswald)

A Weighty Subject (Riddlebird, insecure!Oswald)

Love is Draining (riddlebird au, vampire!Oswald)

Dead of Night (riddlebird, angst, trans!Oswald)

Shivers (Riddlebird sick fic)

In the Still of the Night (teenage!riddlebird au)

Ask Not For Whom the Duck Quacks (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Ed)

Synced (riddlebird, trans!Oswald, trans!Ed)

One of Us, One of Us (angst, toddler!Oswald, toddler!Ed)

Saddled (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Nothing’s Too Good For My Baby (Riddlebird)

Unmentionable (genderbent!Riddlebird)

Flippers Are Forever (riddlebird, hurt/comfort)

Tomorrow (older!riddlebird, major character death)

Petit Oiseau (riddlebird fluff)

Black as Pitch and White as Snow (riddlebird au, mayor!Oswald, ballet dancer!Ed)

Four and a Half (riddlebird, vampire!Oswald)

Ghost Story (riddlebird au, ghost!Oswald)

Penguins Go Moo (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

A Little Less (genderbent!riddlebird)

Foam at the Mouth and Fall Over Backwards (riddlebird angst, trans!pregnant!Ed)

When Chickens Rule Foxes (riddlebird, Victorian!au, vampire!Oswald)

Clown Lung (Joker x Penguin, jealous!Oswald)

Glow (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

I Don’t Wanna Play House (riddlebird, agere, little!Ed)

Paw Prints (riddlebird fluff)

Elasticity (Riddlebird)

Starlit (riddlebird au, actor!Ed, director!Oswald)

A Festive Delivery (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

A Much Awaited Evening (riddlebird, Victorian au, Patient!Oswald, Doctor!Ed)

Together?? (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Last Christmas (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Merry for the First Time (teenage!riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Not Fair (riddlebird, fem!Oswald, angst)

Please, Go All the Way Chapter 1 (riddlebird, fem!pregnant!Oswald)

Please, Go All the Way Chapter 2 (riddlebird, fem!pregnant!Oswald)

Please, Go All the Way Chapter 3 (riddlebird, fem!pregnant!Oswald)

Please, Go All the Way Chapter 4 (riddlebird, fem!pregnant!Oswald)

Please, Go All the Way Chapter 5 (riddlebird, fem!pregnant!Oswald)

Please, Go All the Way Chapter 6 (riddlebird, fem!pregnant!Oswald)

Please, Go All the Way Chapter 7 FINAL (riddlebird, fem!pregnant!Oswald)

In Paradisum (riddlebird, Victorian au, doctor!ed, patient!oswald, hurt/comfort)

Love is a Sinking Feeling (riddlebird, angst)

A Virulent Arrangement (Riddlebird fantasy au, fairy!Oswald, wizard!Ed)

On the Wings of a Snow White Dove (50s au, southern!riddlebird, pastor!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 1 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 2 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 3 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 4 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 5 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 6 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 7 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 8 (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

That Would Suffice to Make a Formidable Monster Chapter 9 FINAL (Sci-Fi Horror au, riddlebird, sea monster/alien!Oswald)

Ladies and Gentleman, We’re Floating In Space Chapter 1 (riddlebird, the Truman Show AU, Ace!Ed)

Ladies and Gentleman, We’re Floating In Space Chapter 2 (riddlebird, the Truman Show AU, Ace!Ed)

Rock-A-Bye Edward (riddlebird)

Eye of the Beholder (riddlebird, blind!Ed, angst, hurt/comfort)

Metal Allergy (riddlebird, fem!Oswald)

Dirty Pillows (genderbent!riddlebird)

Humbly At Your Door (BatCat, Riddlebird, trans!Bruce, trans!Oswald)

Dolly Lills (Riddlebird)

Gourmand (riddlebird, chef!Ed, food critic!Oswald)

Welcome to the Dollhouse (teenage!genderbent!riddlebird)

The Same Bloody Thing (trans!Bruce, batcat)

Don’t Care For It (riddlebird, ace!Oswald)

Far From Over (riddlebird)

Out Very Soon (Riddlebird, Pregnant!Edith)

Plenty of Fish in the Sea (riddlebird, catboy!Oswald)

Or Live On Mars And Have It Your Way Part 1 (Burton-Schumacherverse au, riddlebird, superhero!Ed)

Or Live On Mars And Have It Your Way Part 2 FINAL (Burton-Schumacherverse au, riddlebird, superhero!Ed)

I Felt Like I Knew You So I Just Wanted to Hug You (2020 Robotnik x Burtonverse Penguin)

Round and Round in Circles Until One of Us Drops Dead (Burton-Schumacherverse riddlebird, trans!Oswald)

Baby, They Ain’t Got a Clue (Burton-schumacherverse Batcat, Riddlebird, fake dating, jealous!Ed)

Burton-Schumacherverse + Gotham (TV):

“Excuse me, um, I love you.” (Gotham (TV) Ed x Returns Oswald)

Split Personality part 1 (Burton-schumacherverse/Gotham crossover)

Split Personality part 2 (Burton-schumacherverse/Gotham crossover)

Split Personality part 3 (Burton-schumacherverse/Gotham crossover) 

Where Evil Grows (Forever Ed x Gotham (TV) Oswald)

Birds of a Feather (Burtonverse/Gotham (tv), toddler!Oswald, young!Gertrud)

The Batman (2022) stuff:

Oh Boy, What a Prize (2022 Riddlebird)

The Puzzler Invisible (2022 Riddlebird, Invisible man au)

Flinch (2022 Riddlebird)

Batman the Animated Series:

The Calm After (Riddlebird, hurt/comfort)

A Few Hundred (Riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Stretched Thin (Riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Dozing Daisy (hattercrow fluff)

The Morning After (Hattercrow)

Rude and Restless (Hattercrow, trans!Jonathan)

Sorry (Hattercrow, angst, hurt/comfort? , trans!pregnant!Jervis)

A Cuddly Compromise (Hattercrow)

A Touch of Softness (Hattercrow sickfic)

Thou Wouldst Hate Me in the Morning (Hattercrow, werewolf!Jonathan)

Don’t Blame the Projectile (Riddlebird)

Needy (Hattercrow, trans!pregnant!Jervis)

Smothered With Care (Hattercrow x Riddlebird, polycule fluff)

Care Bear (Hattercrow)

Labour of Love (older!Hattercrow, angst)

Tied Up (BtAS Hattercrow, trans!pregnant!Jervis)

Gotham New Orleans:

Muscle and Blood  

And You Know You’re Going To Fall (Hattercrow)

Prying Eyes (Hattercrow)

Such a Clatter (Hattercrow)

Bat in the Warren (Hattercrow)

Life With Jervis (Hattercrow, domestic fluff, some angst)

Baby, It’s Loud Outside (Riddlebird)

Better For Me, Better For You (Hattercrow)

Staring at the Abyss (Dork Squad, Hattercrow)

Like A King (Riddlebird)

The Talk (Gotham New Orleans, kid!Oswald)

Unsupervised Cuteness (Gotham New Orleans, toddler!Oswald)

Happy Accident (Gotham New Orleans, baby!Oswald)

Only Broken On The Outside (Gotham New Orleans, toddler!Oswald)

The Batman (2004):

Divinity Defiled (Riddlebird, angel!Ed, demon!Oswald)

Grateful (Riddlebird)

My Loopy Love (riddlebird, sick fic)

Do You Hear That? (riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Only A Raccoon (Riddlebird, werewolf!Oswald)

Chronic (riddlebird, angst, hurt comfort)

Spitting Image (Riddlebird)

The Harder They Fall (Riddlebird, angst)

Hidden Heat (riddlebird au, demon!Oswald, angel!Ed)

Bouncing Bundle of Surprise (Riddlebird, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

3,000 Teeth Are Better Than A Brain (merman!riddlebird)

Keep It To Yourself (riddlebird)

Pen Pals (cluemaster x riddler)

Back On The Sunny Side (Cluemaster x Riddler)

Auk-Aukward (2004 Batman, Riddlebird)

Peeping Birdies (Riddlebird)

Leech (genderbent!Riddlebird)

Batman (1966):

A While Longer (Riddlebird)

Quite the Buster (riddlebird)

The Grating Call of a Hungry Fledgling (riddlebird)

Batman (non-specific media):

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables (Harlivy, Riddlebird, Hattercrow)

Harley Quinn (2019):

Perte (Riddlebird)

Personal Growth (Riddlebird)

Clueless (riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort, trans!pregnant!Oswald, buff!riddler)

Tightly Bound (Riddlebird, buff!riddler)

Non-existent (Riddlebird, Hattercrow, trans!Ed, trans!Jonathan)

If I Was A Flower Growing Wild And Free All I'd Want Is You To Be My Sweet Honey Bee Chapter 1 (Harlivy, temporary Ivy x Kiteman, pregnant!Ivy)

If I Was A Flower Growing Wild And Free All I'd Want Is You To Be My Sweet Honey Bee Chapter 2 (Harlivy, temporary Ivy x Kiteman, pregnant!Ivy)

If I Was A Flower Growing Wild And Free All I'd Want Is You To Be My Sweet Honey Bee Chapter 3 (Harlivy, temporary Ivy x Kiteman, pregnant!Ivy)

If I Was A Flower Growing Wild And Free All I'd Want Is You To Be My Sweet Honey Bee Chapter 4 (Harlivy, pregnant!Ivy)

If I Was A Flower Growing Wild And Free All I'd Want Is You To Be My Sweet Honey Bee Chapter 5 (Harley Quinn show, Harlivy, pregnant!Ivy)

If I Was A Flower Growing Wild And Free All I'd Want Is You To Be My Sweet Honey Bee Chapter 6 FINAL (Harley Quinn show, Harlivy, riddlebird)

Merlin (2008):

Through Infirmity (Merthur sickfic)

Ash VS Evil Dead/The Evil Dead 1-3:

Away

You Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog 

Better Dreams (Ash vs Evil Dead)

Star Trek: The Next Generation :

New Tricks (Daforge)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Broadway):

Two Boys On A Bench (Broadway CatCF, Mike x Augustus)

Harvester (1996):

How they spend Valentine’s Day with you part 1

How they spend Valentine’s Day with you part 2

[greenandhazy]

i read your recent fic, wrote up a big thing and then ao3 wouldnt let me comment so here you go: p1) you are truly doing what is needed for the good of this fandom. i've scene some gender bend abed but never hijabi (which is a nice touch for diversity i think

p2) i particularly like the line jess has in reponce to psych of gender changing brittons life ("not noticably" LMAO ROAST HIM) bc its clearly paralleling how britta called jeff out in canon but is still very in character for jeff/jess and their sarcastic methods. . i liked shermon a lot. you did a good job of maintaining shirley religiousity but at the right level (slightly old fashioned and annoying but well intentioned)

p3) i liked shermon a lot. you did a good job of maintaining shirley religiousity but at the right level (slightly old fashioned and annoying but well intentioned) when i think often time male religious characters end up being more intense in a way that seems very bigoted and kinda villainous. It would have made me sad to shirley get that character treatment, so im glad you didnt

p4) troy-tory's perspective in this was really nice. often trobed is done from abeds POV so i like the switch. The way you maintained troys internalized homophobia was really well done, especially how you also maintained troys more """masculine"" traits (like his athleticism). the line at the begining about how pitching in softball is "the straight position" kinda made me laugh a little, but i also really felt for tory bending over backwards to maintain her heterosexual persona.

p5) a small detail but one of my faves. and the little arc about tory's hair was fun ! I like the idea of gender bend troy with box braids alot

Oh man, this is such a lovely comment! I want to reply to a bunch of different things and I can already tell it’s going to get rambly so I’m going to put it under a cut:

Yeah so in general I have a lot of Thoughts and Opinions on religion and how religion is treated in fiction. I think in a lot of fanfic, religious tends to be pretty black and white--people are either A) Super Religious or Not Religious, and then either B) Good or Bad. And I think in canon Shirley doesn’t fall into those categories. She definitely makes homophobic and antisemitic statements, but she still genuinely loves her friends and is overall kind, and I think her kindness is more of an essential character trait than her bigotry.

also, w/r/t to hijabi Abed--I’m Jewish and I think a lot of nonreligious or Christian people kind of assume that people who aren’t super religious about Judaism don’t participate in the religion at all aside from maybe Hanukkah (cough like Annie in the show cough) and that’s often not true! for people in minority religions in the US, culture and religion are intertwined and it’s very common for people to keep some customs--like, maybe you don’t eat kosher all the way, but you do abstain from pork, maybe you don’t go to synagogue services but you do light candles at home, etc. And I think Abed does the same thing. Is he devout enough to pray five times a day and abstain from all alcohol all the time and only eat meat that’s been halal slaughtered? Probably not. But in canon he doesn’t drink frequently, and I think a genderbent Abed would see wearing a hijab as something that’s (relatively) low effort and high reward in terms of making her feel connected to her heritage without requiring a lot of time or effort or making her stop doing something she loves.

maybe my high school was weird this way, but the whole “male athletes and female cheerleaders are the popular ones” stereotype was really not a thing? I mean, I also don’t think there was one way to be popular in my school, but to the extent there was a “popular” group, it was athletes as a whole. the prom queen and homecoming queen my senior year of high school were a basketball player and a soccer player, respectively, and yeah, I think sports fits Troy’s personality better than cheerleading even if we are swapping genders.

I had a friend in college who mostly wore her hair short like Troy’s but would get box braids done for special occasions and usually kept them in for a while afterwards, so that was the inspiration for that moment--in general, I got my headcanon favorite hairstyle for lady Troy from watching Van in Atlanta (1, 2). Hair texture isn’t quite the same but still, she always looks cute as hell.

[izupie]

So I entered the Fruits Basket Gift exchange over at @lgbtfurubanet and my giftee requested a genderbent story, and one of the ships they had on their preferred list was Kyoru, and I thought this sounded like a great challenge!

So here’s a gender swapped, fluff filled, festive cookie baking story for my giftee, Allison (who I can’t tag because I don’t know their tumblr name!) Happy holidays!

————

[AO3 LINK]

It’s an unseasonably sunny day for the ass-end of December, Kyoka decides, as she practically burrows herself further down into her futon. It makes the task of getting out of bed practically impossible, when she’s so warm and comfy, and it feels like forever since she had a day off from school to just enjoy an extra-long nap. An overdue extra-long nap.

She was usually the first one up in the house, though sometimes Tokuro was already making breakfast by the time she came into the kitchen. Kyoka often found herself wondering if he even slept those nights. He always seemed to be smiling a little bit too hard those mornings – with a smile that looked not quite right, despite how hard he was obviously forcing it on there. Bad dreams maybe?

Not that it was any of her business.

Kyoka turns over and huffs into her blanket, trying to force out the thought of Tokuro’s sad smile. Today was a day of napping. That included no annoying dogs or rats and definitely no thinking about him.

As if summoned by the very thought, Kyoka perks up automatically as she hears the soft tones of Tokuro drifting up through the floorboards. She immediately pulls her duvet up over her head, but even that isn’t enough to drown out the sound of Shihori’s cackle of a laugh that answers him and assaults her ears. Tokuro’s pitch raises, though now she can’t hear what he’s saying, and Kyoka frowns as she pulls the quilt back down. She’s not quite sure why it bothers her so much when something is making him unhappy, but even just the idea of Shihori being a nuisance to him this early in the morning is making her face scrunch up in annoyance.

Someone needs to get that dog a leash.

Kyoka finally throws off the blanket completely and shoves on the closest clothes to her she can reach; a quick glance reveals she’s wearing a black sweater and khaki cargo pants, then she runs a quick hand through her orange bob, hoping it’s not too tangled from sleep, as she pounds down the stairs barefooted.

Shihori looks up and freezes in place as Kyoka enters the kitchen, wooden spoon deep into her mouth, while Tokuro flaps his hands in a panic beside her.

“P-Please put the spoon down Shihori, y-you could get sick from raw cookie batter like that,” he says with a concern that makes his voice fast and high.

“Buh itsh sho tashty,” Shihori just about manages, with her mouth still around the spoon, as she places a hand to her cheek and swoons.

Kyoka makes a disgusted sound in the back of her throat that makes Tokuro jump on the spot as he turns in surprise to see her in the entrance to the kitchen, though it only takes a beat for his face to brighten instantly into a smile. Kyoka stamps (hard) on the impulse to smile back.

“Good morning Kyoka!” Tokuro chirps.

Kyoka folds her arms tight over her chest. “M-Morning,” she acknowledges, then turns to Shihori with a scowl. “You’re disgusting.”

Shihori is dressed in one of her more casual kimonos, open so low on the chest that it borders on inappropriate, and there’s a bag over her shoulder.

“You’re going out?” Kyoka asks out loud.

“Mm,” Shihori hums, licking the spoon thoroughly clean before she hands it to a concerned looking Tokuro. “Only to the main estate. Oh, don’t look at me like that Tokuro, don’t you know that dogs have iron stomachs?”

“O-Oh, they do?”

“Absolutely. I can eat anything, and I’ll be totally fine.”

Kyoka blinks. “What? That’s not true.” But her voice has less fire in it that she wants as doubt creeps in, and she glances at Tokuro as if his expression might tell her the truth, even though he always agrees with whatever Shihori says as much as she does.

Goddamn that dog’s gold-class bullshitting always makes her doubt the stuff she already knows is true.

“Oh, Kyoka,” Shihori wails, as if fatally wounded, “so little faith in what I tell you. Tokuro always believes me.”

I’m supposed to be napping, Kyoka remembers with an internal huff as she resists the urge to outright growl, but instead I’m dealing with the fucking theatrics of the ‘adult’ of the house.

“I’ve even eaten Hatsumi’s cooking,” Shihori adds in a proud voice, “though I suppose if she’d ever poisoned me, she could have just treated me straight after. Not really in any danger if a doctor gives you food poisoning, right?”

“Unless she does it on purpose,” Kyoka snaps.

Shihori cackles another laugh and shakes her head, though Kyoka notices she doesn’t disagree. She finally gives them both a wink and turns to leave the room. “Have a fun morning you two, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Kyoka chokes out a cracked, “Just go already!”

Another cackle and Shihori is finally gone. The front door slides shut with a definitive click.

Kyoka sighs loudly and feels her shoulders sag, feeling like she’s just lost some of the years off her life. When she turns back to Tokuro he’s already at the sink washing the spoon Shihiro had just been licking for dear life (gods, she’s gross) and drying it off with a towel. Only then does she notice the big bowl of what must be cookie batter on the table, the big pile of plastic cookie cutter shapes, and the tubes of different coloured icing covering almost every available surface.

“What’s all this?”

Tokuro brightens and a soft embarrassed blush blooms onto his nose.

Kyoka feels like someone has punched her in the chest and kicked her in the stomach all at once. She hadn’t really paid attention to him when she’d first walked into the kitchen, trying to deal with the headache that was Shihori, but now he’s all she can look at and, shit, the boy is trying to kill her. He’s wearing an oversized sweater in a brown that’s almost the same shade as his floppy hair, underneath denim overalls. She remembers Tokuro bashfully telling her that he has no fashion sense once, and that he prefers plainer clothes, but even at the time she could only stare blankly back in amazement because he clearly has no clue that this stuff makes him look cute as hell.

It makes her a bit self-conscious of her hastily thrown on clothes, creased from the floor, and her un-tied, un-brushed hair.

Kyoka realises his brown doe-eyes are wide and she’s completely missed what he’s just said. “What?” she snaps, harsher than she intended as she tries to wrestle her feelings back under control.

He blinks and goes back to the bowl of cookie dough. “O-Oh, um, I said I’m baking holiday cookies. B-But I didn’t want them to be just Christmas themed, so I thought I’d make them… festive… zodiac… animals.” Tokuro ducks his head down with a shy smile.

That’s so him, Kyoka thinks with a fondness she wishes she could stop as easily as she stops the small laugh that wants to escape her lips.

The big pile of random cookie cutters does seem to contain a whole collection of different animal shapes, so Kyoka makes her way over and picks them up at random. They’re all there: rat, cow, tiger, rabbit… the whole zodiac. A shape catches her eye and she realises there’s a cat shaped on there too. It makes something fluttery and warm flap in her chest.

By the time she’s turned back around Tokuro has started rolling out some of the dough.

“And let me guess, you’re gonna to give them out to everyone, right.” It’s not even posed as a question, because she already knows the answer.

Tokuro nods excitedly. “Yes!”

Kyoka definitely can’t stop the smile that tugs up her lips then, and without another word she begins sorting out the shapes into order. She frowns at the rat shape as she places it at the head of the group, then grins to herself as she pushes it down and puts the cat cutter there instead.

“Kyoka?”

“Yeah?”

“Um…”

“I’m helpin’. That a problem?”

“N-No! It’s just… you don’t have to. I don’t want to take up your time on our day off school.”

Kyoka snorts. “It’s fine. Not like I’ve got anythin’ else to do anyways.” She ignores the thought of her futon.

Tokuro says thank you each time Kyoka hands him a shape cutter and it winds her up slowly more and more each time. His soft voice is so shrill and high when he’s panicked (which is often) but it sounds entirely different when it’s just the two of them. Sometimes she could kid herself that he has this voice just for her. She shakes her head and folds her arms again as Tokuro pushes down on the last shape and places each cookie onto a baking tray for the oven.

The instant the oven door is pushed closed Tokuro says, “Phew,” and wipes a hand over his forehead, brushing across his fringe and messing it up.

Kyoka feels an unexpected jolt of longing to brush it back into place. Instead she says, “Your fringe looks dumb.”

Tokuro laughs and smooths it back down.

Kyoka wants to jump into the oven with the cookies.

“So, what’s with all the icing?” she says, trying desperately to go for ‘I’m so casual, I definitely wasn’t thinking of touching your hair’.

“Well, I wanted to do zodiac animals, but I still wanted them to be festive, so I’m going to put different coloured scarves on them. And I want to do all the animals in different colours too. So I, well, I needed lots of tubes,” Tokuro says, as he turns the base on a kitchen timer with a few clicks.

“Seems like a lotta trouble to go to for some cookies.”

“Oh no, I don’t mind, it’s no trouble at all really. I just… I like doing something nice for everyone. And with it being nearly Christmas and everything, I thought this would be fun.” He smiles. “I don’t really have much money to spend on Christmas presents, and it’s not like they’re going to be especially professional looking cookies, but…”

“Look, everyone’s gonna appreciate anything you make them. Trust me. And don’t even worry about presents or nothing. Buying presents for all the zodiac members would be insane – there’s no way you earn enough money to shell out that much. Especially since half of ‘em don’t even deserve you spendin’ your money on them in the first place.”

Tokuro’s face softens as he rubs the back of his neck self-consciously. “B-But, um- I think your family- the other zodiac members- I feel like they’ve been so nice to me. And it’s nice to return those feelings in something tangible at Christmas. Something that says, ‘thank you for knowing me’. I couldn’t not get them anything, even if it’s small.”

Kyoka feels her cheeks warming and she looks away sharply to hide the blush she knows will be there. “Still think some of them don’t deserve it,” she gripes, “especially Yukari.”

Tokuro laughs good-naturedly and turns to wash up the cooking equipment he’s finished using in the sink. “Everyone deserves a gift at Christmas,” he says belatedly, and Kyoka notices his smile has faded as he looks at the water.

She wonders if he feels his dad’s loss more at this time of the year. She wonders what kind of gifts they got each other. Did he bake cookies for him too? She bets that Kyodo Honda spoilt his son rotten at this time of year. But with the things that really mattered; like time spent together, love, good times, that sort of thing. It sounded like the Christmases she’d spent with Master, who’d always tried her hardest to make it a special time for Kyoka. Up until Master had taken her in, she hadn’t had a single a happy Christmas time throughout her entire shitty childhood.

Kyoka moves to the sink with the dishtowel and begins to dry off some of the clean cookie cutters, which makes Tokuro look up in surprise and take a breath (to probably tell her that she doesn’t need to help) but she shrugs and snaps, “I wanna help,” before he can get a word out.

She cringes at her own tone and delivery, and desperately wishes she could spend a whole conversation with him without snapping or saying something she didn’t mean, but when she peeks a look over at him, ready to apologise, his smile has returned. Kyoka hopes there’ll come a day when she can speak to him without messing up and losing her cool, but she’s glad it looks like he knows her well enough to know that she doesn’t mean it. It makes her feel like they’ve got something unspoken between them, because he knows her better than anyone her own age has ever done.

The kitchen timer rings just as Tokuro is about hand over the mixing bowl for her to dry, and it makes him jump so badly that he loses his grip and drops it back into the sink with a splash that peppers them both in soapy water. Kyoka flinches backwards while Tokuro yelps.

“I-I-I’m so sorry Kyoka!” he says in a fluster, turning to her immediately.

Kyoka splutters and wipes her face. “It’s fine. It’s fine. Jeez, you’d think you’d just accidentally murdered someone or somethin’ the way you panic.”

“I’m sorry!” he repeats, his expression worried.

Kyoka lets out a laugh. “Stop apologising.”

“Sorr-” He clamps a hand to his mouth.

“That’s better,” Kyoka says with another laugh. She sighs as she continues warmly, “You’ve got bubbles on your face.” Then without thinking she reaches out a hand and lightly brushes away the bubbles from his cheek.

She pauses.

Tokuro’s eyes are wide above the hand still clamped to his mouth.

Kyoka snatches her hand back and rubs her own face free of bubbles, trying not to let her internal screaming show on her face; Why did I do that? Don’t fucking caress his fucking cheek like that, what will he think?!

There’s an awkward pause while Kyoka tries to think of something to say, until Tokuro suddenly yelps again. “The cookies!” He rushes over to open the oven door and he’s about to reach in for the baking tray until Kyoka reacts just in enough time to throw an oven glove at him.

“Gloves!” she chokes out, trying not to let the image of him grabbing the tray with his bare hands float into her mind.

Tokuro thanks her in a wobbly voice as he pulls the glove on, grabs the tray, and sets it down onto the counter. He sighs deeply and wipes his gloved hand across his forehead while Kyoka feels her whole body unclench as she lets out a breath.

“They’re fine,” Tokuro whispers in a happy voice, “they’re safe. A perfect golden brown.”

“Maybe you should save the washing up for after the cookies are done next time,” Kyoka suggests, even though she knows, with a cold, guilty feeling in her gut, that it was more her fault that he got distracted than anything.

“Mm,” he hums in agreement, smiling at his creations, “I think you’re probably right.”

Kyoka frowns at how readily he agreed with her, but she pushes her guilt away – the cookies turned out fine anyway, didn’t they? – and instead grabs a plate from the cupboard and fans the food gently to cool them down quicker for the icing. Tokuro beams at her and she looks resolutely down.

Once they’re cool enough Kyoka puts the plate down and watches intently as Tokuro pipes icing over them with surprisingly steady hands. Whenever he needs a new colour, she helps find the tube he needs and hands it over. Their fingers brush together once or twice and they nearly drop the tubes.

“You think we could mix some chilli powder into this one?” Kyoka asks cheekily as Tokuro begins to pipe lilac icing over the rat shaped cookie. “Could be like a Christmas surprise,” she adds with a barely restrained laugh at Tokuro’s panicked refusal. “I’m just joking. Wouldn’t want her to think you can’t cook or somethin’ I guess.”

She wonders if she imagines the extra care Tokuro takes in decorating the cat shaped cookie. Or the light blush on his cheeks as he looks up and smiles at her when he’s done.

They both laugh at their combined confusion of how to make the seahorse cookie look like it’s wearing a scarf, and how sincerely Tokuro tries to give it a happy expression. It doesn’t really work, but she thinks it’s the happiest looking seahorse she’s ever seen anyway.

When all thirteen are done they both stand back and admire the festive looking zodiac animals. But Kyoka’s face scrunches into a deep frown as she counts them all again, and she looks up at Tokuro, trying to keep her voice steady as she asks, “Wait, where’s yours?”

How had she only just noticed that there are only thirteen cookies there. Why didn’t he make one for himself?

Tokuro laughs lightly and looks down. “Oh, well, since I’m the one making them, I didn’t think I should make myself one. It seemed greedy somehow. And besides, they’re all gifts for the Sohma family. Not for me.”

“But you are part of the Sohma family,” Kyoka huffs before she can stop herself. She realises what words have tumbled out of her mouth when Tokuro’s wide eyes snap back up to hers. He looks a bit like he’s about to cry and she doesn’t know how she’ll deal with that so her voice comes out rougher when she tries to backtrack and say, “W-Well- I-I mean, y’know- you live here with us and- it’s like you might as well be part of the family or something. As messed up as it is…”

Tokuro is practically beaming at her, his whole face lit up by some expression that Kyoka can’t even comprehend. Something like family. Belonging.

“Alright, alright, look, just dry off that mixing bowl and grab me out the ingredients.”

“Huh?”

“The mixing bowl. The ingredients. So I can make another cookie.”

“Wh- N-No, don’t got to any trouble for me!”

“It’s no trouble at all,” Kyoka says, echoing exactly what he’d said to her. “I want to.”

They both blink at each other in silence, and she wonders if her blush looks as intense as his, then he finally follows her instructions.

Kyoka mixes up what she needs to and rolls out the dough, then reaches hesitantly for the cat shaped cookie cutter.

She hopes her voice holds steady as she says, “Since you don’t have any other shapes I’m just gonna use this one again, okay?”

“Y-Yes! I told my dad that I’d be born in the year of the cat, so we can both be the cat cookies. I’d love that!”

He smiles and Kyoka’s entirely sure she must still be asleep in her futon and none of this has really happened at all.

When they’d had their first real conversation, where Tokuro had confessed that he’d wanted to change his zodiac animal for the cat after his dad told him the old zodiac folk tale, Kyoka had been flustered as hell, but some part of her still screamed that it was a lie. She hadn’t known Tokuro back then, and she didn’t know that he was the most genuine person she’d ever met or will meet. To hear him say it again, now, when she knew he meant it – that he’s happy to be lumped into the ‘year of the cat’ with her – it’s both the scariest and best thing she thinks she’s ever experienced. “I’ll decorate it after, so you’ll know which one is for you,” she says eventually, swallowing the lump in her throat. “And you can make whatever else you want with this leftover dough.”

Tokuro excitedly gets out a knife and begins cutting out more festive shapes by hand while Kyoka places the extra cat cookie on the baking tray, ready to go into the oven with the others when Tokuro has finished.

“It’s a Santa hat,” he proclaims proudly as he lays an oddly shaped cookie on the tray.

“Hm, looks like a banana with fluff on the end to me.”

“Oh no, really? Do you think it’s too thin?”

“I’m kiddin’. Looks fine. Almost as good as the Christmas tree there.”

“Th-That’s supposed to be an elf…”

[borkdork]

So I’m working on new prices for my work and I did this one for fullbody linework and I enjoyed how much I did it I wanted to post it here

Some Genderbent Pitch Black from Rise of the Guardians :)

[sew-into-music]

Wore my Pitch Black yesterday at WizardWorld comic-con 2017

It was tons of fun! Had my best friend “sparklyliciouscosplay” on Facebook, as my Jack Frost. We put sooooo much effort into the outfit

I did a majority of the sewing and painting of the dress Jack Dress. And I made my Pitch Black dress. All together the jack frost took 80 hours. And my PB took arounf 30

[vincess-princess]

Genderbent Crue, p. 2: Vince

(This one turned to be so. damn. big. fucking 1786 words, what the actual fuck. i didn’t even expect it and now i feel ashamed because i wrote twice fewer words for nikki. school’s really getting in the way now and i’m so tired so i’m sorry it took a while and next one will probably too. placing it under a cut because it’s just. so big)

Violet Whitley Neil thinks she was born in the shittiest place possible - Compton. She’s not entirely wrong.

Her parents loved her and her little brother, but she didn’t get to see it often – they were always at work. She knew that, but as she grew older it had become less and less believable.

Being the only white family in the neighborhood was hard. Being the only white girl in neighborhood was even harder. That's why the two things most well-preserved in her memory from her childhood are: 1) Don't go out at night, and if you really need to 2) Don't be afraid to fight for your life, because if you don’t, nobody will.

The second rule was hard for a petite girl to follow, and along with always carrying around a switchblade, she had to find other ways. Like enamoring the local ringleader. Always worked.

She was pretty, and she knew that from unnaturally young age. She learned it from the way the boys looked at her, tried to touch her, wanted to share a desk with her. She wasn’t stupid, and she noticed everything. At first it caused only discomfort, the way boys pushed her around, hiked up her skirt and called her names trying to get her attention. She grew up, and she began to understand why. It didn’t make it more comfortable, though.

She had her first boyfriend when she was ten, and it'd all been fun and games, just children being children. When the games had become too serious she didn't quite remember, but she remembered very well the moment when a pharmacist had refused to sell her condoms, "girl, what are you, twelve?". Someone in the line muttered something indignantly, the others scowled, and she swallowed her resentment and fled. But these disapproving whispers haunted her for the rest of the day.

School was hard and really not worth the effort. Letters and numbers in the books didn't make sense, and after a while she gave up trying to understand them. "Thinking about boys again?", the teachers used to call her out, seeing this only as laziness, and soon she became convinced of it herself. Everybody was saying that good girls should study well and shouldn't date so many boys. Maybe she wasn't a good girl after all, she decided. Not that it really bothered her.

Then Violet heard soul and rock n’ roll for the first time and absolutely lost her mind. She had no money for records, and her parents, though not forbidding her to listen to it, didn’t either. She shoplifted and outright cheated, her favorite trick pretending to be short of money in shops, and everyone liked helping a pretty girl. She lied to her parents that she got a job to explain her constantly growing pile of records, and they were so glad to hear that their daughter didn’t spend her all free time hanging out with boys that they didn’t ask questions. She went to concerts and met new people there, and soon discovered weed and alcohol. She also discovered that she could get it for free if she talked the right way with the right people.

After that school suddenly became an important place in Violet’s life – a place to sell weed. She was making big money out of it until someone snitched to the headmaster about it and she was suspended. The only reason that bitch avoided her revenge was that Violet didn’t want to go to school anyway. When her suspension ended she just didn’t show up.

By that time, tired of all the dangers of Compton and uncontrollability of their daughter, Violet’s parents moved the kids to their aunt’s place. Another school, in which Violet wasn’t interested in a slightest, ended up being all the same. She would come to lessons completely stoned and just sit there, not listening or watching anything, not even reacting when she was called. You don’t need education to be a rock star, so why bother?

Her real life always started after lessons. She had a thing for bad boys, some were from local gangs, some were aspiring musicians, some were rich kids with inexhaustible money and weed in their pockets. She loved sex, and they loved her for that. She laughed when needed, smoked weed in their cars, took their money and never believed anything they said. She was long disillusioned about love – it was always just lust in disguise. The heartbreaker, they called her, and she only laughed at them, those silly boys still had so much to learn. The whore, others called her, and those times she never laughed; she could never force them to change their minds, but she could make them respect her. And she did, with a punch, a scratch, a kick, an insult, because the other thing she learned about boys was that they respected only force.

At this time she started taking part in lip-sync competitions with her friends. She ran around the stage, hair messy, lipstick smeared, and screamed into an imaginary microphone, and people actually liked it. This was the time when posters of The Runaways were in every teenager’s room, and she wasn’t an exception. Hello, daddy! Hello, mom! I’m your ch-ch-cherry bomb! Everyone told her she looked like Cherie Currie, and she believed she could sing just as good. She wore the shortest skirt and the highest heels in her class, and this was probably a reason why a new kid accosted her right after the first lesson to ask her to be in his band. She agreed, of course. The Runaways weren’t formed in one day, and this was a start.

Months went by like this, all days merged into one, weed-smelling, alcohol-tasting, rock n’ roll a constant background theme, until one day her life shattered into pieces. She got pregnant. Her at that time boyfriend begged her to keep the child. Her parents did the same, promising to help her raise him. She was only sixteen. She wasn’t ready. She was scared. She agreed.

Violet was at last kicked out of school. Her boyfriend, who tried to help her during pregnancy, bottled out a few weeks after the child’s birth. She named the child Vince Wharton, the name her parents said they would have given her if she was born a boy. After a few sleepless weeks she understood she couldn’t take it anymore. She had no love for this little red creature, his cries only driving her mad. She wanted back to her careless, free life. She gave up her child for adoption, visiting him occasionally at foster home, more out of duty than of love. After he was adopted, his new family forbid her to visit him, explaining it with her “promiscuous lifestyle”. Not that she was very disappointed by this.

After that Violet moved out to the other part of L.A. Her life never became the same, but it was still better. She worked some manual jobs, her lack of school diploma not letting her to get anything better-paid, but it was slowly driving her insane, all these dishes, all these coffees, all these customers, and she quickly found herself a sugar daddy just to escape them. She tried to resume her singing career then. It wasn’t hard, lots of bands wanted to have a sexy blondie as their frontman. She sang here and there, becoming pretty well-known among local rock n’ roll circle, both for her performances and her wanton lifestyle. Her sugar daddy tried to stop her, and she ditched him that very moment because no man would ever stand between her and her favorite thing. Her new one was a son of a McDonalds owner where she worked as a waitress. He was rich and a cocaine addict and didn’t mind her sleeping around as long as she lived with him. Things were getting back on track, but there still seemed to be something missing in her life, something she longed for since her teenagehood, something she’d never been able to put into words. Maybe because she wasn’t good with them, maybe because it wasn’t possible at all.

One of her friends from school, the only girl she got on well with while there, had been asking her to join her band for some time, but Violet never considered it serious. Her own band was considerably well-known, had gigs and fans, and a band consisting of a junkie who couldn’t even play properly, an inexperienced schoolgirl and an old unsuccessful guitarist was of no interest for her. Girl bands, despite the Runaways’ success, still weren’t taken serious; “they only do it to attract attention of boys,” she often heard, “girls don’t understand rock n’ roll.” She disagreed, but no one listened to her.

Things changed when she got kicked out of her own band, unexpectedly, with no warning. The other members thought that they would attract more girls with a male frontman. Violet wished them good fucking luck doing it with black eyes and missing teeth, but it still didn’t change a thing other than the fact that she’d never come back to that band again. All other options for her proved hopeless – the bands were ready to see her only as a groupie, not as a bandmate, - and she soon found herself digging around her room searching for that piece of paper with a number her friend had given her. Better a shitty band than no band.

She arrived at the place, and she saw them, three black-haired girls who were so alike they could be mistaken for twins but for the difference in their height and age. They could make an interesting contrast, three brunettes and one blonde, people are gonna love the image, but she needed to hear them first. The guitarist was much older than they all, and at first she shook her head at the thought, rock n’ roll was for the youth, after all… but then she started playing, a fast metal riff, and Violet had never heard a guitar sounding so strong; then the drums joined it, the junkie girl smiled like mad and grabbed her bass. Violet looked down, at the lyrics they gave her, and her high-pitched voice intertwined with the melody; and her heart sank, because there it was, there was the thing, echoing from the walls, the one she could never catch, the one she could never put into words. Here it was, in the air, in the loud music, in the messy black hair, in the high heels, in the grin of the junkie girl.

Maybe people wouldn’t take their band serious at first, she thought. But they would make them.

[little-buzz]

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY AAAAA

Name: Dave

Age: 17 

Occupation: Math tutor 

Personality: Dave can be a bit flirty to people he has a crush on (*cough* Ayala *cough*). He picked up on flirting one day at his house when he was bored and found a small book dedicated to flirting. He’s known to be very intelligent for his age. He’s very stubborn and always tries to get his way. 

Love interest: Ayala 

Other: 

His shoes are pitch black 

He’s a separate oc from Dawn, their not going to be genderbents anymore

[trampledcactusboy]

Second Chances

Genderbent Castiel X Male Reader

Y/N’s POV

“Cas, get out of the way!”

I slammed the startled angel into the wall behind me as I shielded her with my body.

I managed to get in one good shot before crumpling to the floor like a loose piece of paper spilling with red ink.

“Y/N!” I heard Dean scream from across the room, heavy and fast footsteps headed my direction.

I slumped back into the soft trenchcoat beneath me, realizing the body in it belonged to none other than the celestial being I had just saved but not having enough strength to prevent myself from falling further into it the more I bled out.

My breaths started to get shallow, a slow but painfully high pitched sound ringing through my ears, blocking out everything else.

It felt like a movie.

It was weird, I always used to think that these moments were so cliche, so overdone and overdramatic.

But now, as my vision blurs and my hands shake with the touch of cold that rushes inot me, I want to laugh at the accuracy I’ve mocked all these years.

I saw everything happening in slow motion.

Perhaps, God just wanted me to remember this well.

Remember the faces of my best friends. Remember the feeling of Castiel’s gorgeous hair cascading down my neck from underneath my withering form. Remember being a ‘hero’, even if it was a short-lived career.

I always had a nagging fear in the back of my mind, telling me I wasn’t really making a difference, telling me that I wasn’t hunting for the right reasons.

But right now, in this moment, that constant voice finally quieted down.

Because I knew, with every organ in my body, every slowing pump of my heart and every ounce of my corrupt soul, that what I just did meant something. It meant something to me.

If saving Castiel’s cute ass was how I was going to go out, then so fucking be it. There could be worse ways to die.

The ringing and slow motion all began to subside when I gasped out for a breath of air, coughing as blood dripped out of the corner of my mouth.

Dean was beside me, trying desperately to close the wound temporarily with some cloth.

Sam was standing above us all, eyes watering and heaving like he was about to have a full blown panic attack.

And Castiel, bless her pure self, was still beneath me, eyes widened and looking straight ahead whilst clutching onto my arms securely.

Her warm, small hands wrapped around my thick biceps in a way I wished would’ve lasted forever.

“Why would you do that?”

I looked over at Dean wearily, not knowing how to respond to such an obvious question.

“DAMMIT, Y/N! SHE WOULD’VE BEEN FINE! YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO SACRAFICE YOURSELF!”

Castiel’s eyes watered at the sound of the older brother’s shouts resulting in me to rub up circles on her hands that surrounded me to soothe her.

“I didn’t miss…did I?” 

I smiled softly, Sam scoffing at my ability to make any situation lighter.

“You better not die on us, Y/N. I don’t know how I’d explain to Bobby that we couldn’t save you.” Sam’s voice cracked, attempting to hold back sobs.

“Don’t bullshit me when I’m dying, Sam. We both know you just can’t stand the thought of going back to fast food dinners every night.” 

He laughed, tears falling as he did and even Dean had a tight lipped smile slide across his face.

“You’re a great cook.” Castiel whispered, still not looking down at the scene playing out before her.

“Yeah? Be sure to write that exact quote on my tombstone, will ya darlin’?” I coughed out another low laugh.

“This isn’t funny.”  She said, louder this time, finally staring down at me.

Her big, captivatingly blue eyes sparkled with what I knew was tears but convinced myself was her depleting grace leaking through her beautiful vessel.

“Hey now, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m sorry.” I reached up a hand to caress her flushed cheeks that any other time would be such a vibrant pink.

“You should be. I didn’t need saving.”

Her tone was stern but the waver in the delivery gave away her true emotion.

“I know you didn’t. You’re strong, you never need anyone to save you. I just wanted to show off, you know I can’t resist that disapproving look you give me. It’s sexy.” 

My voice was now horse and weak, volume so shallow I was surprised she heard me.

A tear fell down her face and I wiped it away, smiling up at the angel who had taken over my life since she flew into it three and a half years ago.

“Cas, I…”

My body was shutting down, now. I could sense the drowning within my own self occuring as I tried to swim to the surface, selfishly wanting just a few more minutes with her.

But it seemed as thought my time was up, I had wasted too much of my energy stalling the inevitable that I lost my chance to say what I had been needing to say for much too long.

It felt like fainting, not dying.

And I guess, in a way, I was grateful for that.

I expected something painful and excruciating but wa sgreeted with something of elegance and gentlness instead.I felt trapped inside a pool of complete darkness.

Nothing and no one around me to guide me thrugh whatever I had been sent.

I scratched my head in confusion, not understanding what had happened.

This wasn’t hell.

This certainly wasn’t heaven.

This wasn’t even enough to be considered purgatory.

I wandered around aimlessly, calling out to any that could hear me.

“GOD!”

No answer.

“GOD!?”

Nothing.

“HEY, ASSWIPE! I THINK THERE’S BEEN SOME KIND OF MISTAKE! YOU SEE, I DIED! I NEED SOME CELESTIAL TRANSPORTATION PLEASE!”

I pulled at my hair in fristration before plopping down on the black ground.

Was there somplace besides heaven, hell and purgatory that we hadn’t known of yet?

Was I the first to be brought here?

Were they just holding me here while they decided my fate?

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

I spent what I assumed to be centuries sitting in that damned pit of despair, only thing to acompany me being my own thoughts.

Some days I’d cry.

Some days I’d scream.

Some days I’d try to speak with God again.

Some days I’d just lie there and try to remember what clouds looked like.

And some days…Some really rare days…I’d hear Castiel.

Or at least, I thought I did. 

I couldn’t tell if it was actually her or me just going insane from the torturous isolation.

But when I did hear her, I chose not to question it and instead would admire it like a magnificent ballad.

She would say all kinds of things to me.

Usually it’d be about her day with Sam and Dean, never refraining to tell me how she think I would have handled the situation. Other times it was about a movie or show she had seen or even a song or a picture or a skyline or a car, anything that reminded her of me and how much I would’ve enjoyed those simple things from life.

Sometimes, though, she’d get real depressing. I’d spend hours not being able to hear anything other than her crying and it made me feel like I was dying all over again.

These moments, however rare, were a double edged sword.

I loved them but resented them all the same, for I yearned to be with her again, to stroke her hair and hold her close to me and reassure her that everything was alright.

Eventually, I came to terms with the fact that this is where I belonged.

God doesn’t make any mistakes, he’d unfortunately made me quite aware of that during our encounter on Earth.

Why he decided to give me the silent treatment, I had no idea. But I’m sure he put me in here for a reason, and that was something that was easier to find peace in than fight considering I had no legitimate choice in the matter.

I took up mediatation, yoga and even singing to occupy my infinite time.

Sure, it wasn’t the best routine in the world and definitely wouldn’t comfort me forever but it was something and that’s better than nothing at all.

I’m sure the boys and Cas would’ve laughed their asses off at the sight of me prancing around here, stretching, hopping and singing to those stupid songs Dean has gotten stuck in my head after all this time.

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Another two years went by.

Castiel spoke to me a few months ago.

It was shocking, she hadn’t taked to me since a year ago.

I was beginning to think she was gone, that maybe my mind had settled down and I was sane once again.

She informed me that it was New Year’s. She told me of all the things they did to celebrate, how Sam had tried to make it fun and cheerful but her and Dean just weren’t having any of it. How Dean had snapped at the sight of decorations and kicked down the small christmas tree his brother had brought in. She told me how christmas was the same, neither of them bothering to open the gifts Sam had sought out for them in protest of the holiday as a whole. She told me how Sam made a joke about her having a first kiss to egt into the spirit of New Year’s, offering Dean as a pair of lips. The way she described how disgusted she was by just the mere image of that exchange had me smiling to myself in both amusement and relief, even if she was just a figment of my vivid imagination. She told me how she always thought I would have been her first anything, how she didn’t find it possible to even contemplate another person to replace my role. She didn’t verify in any detail on what she meant by ‘role’ so I could only hope she meant what I wanted her to mean by it. 

She ended the converstaion, if I could even call it that, by telling me she was sorry for abandoning me lately. She vented about how guilty she had been feeling because my birthday had come around and the memories of me consumed her like a vicious beast. I wanted to tell her I forgived her. I wanted to let her know I didn’t mind and that i hadn’t even known my birthday had passed, make her aware that time in here was only an abstract construct of my own consiousness. I wanted to tell her to live her life to the fullest, to stop wasting her time on me and start taking Sam’s positive influence as an excuse to forget about me.

After that, I spent the next couple of months concluding a hypothesis I loathed to be true.

I figured that God was behind the lingering voice of his child, my angel castiel.

That he had to of been using my care for her as a cruel form of punishment, forcing me to face the reality of my hurting the ones I loved by the actions I took in my leave.

At first, I was enraged by such a theory but gradually accepted it as a lesser of evils.

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Today marked what felt like the third century.

That’s 300 years for those who don’t know.

I had no watch, of coarse, so I was probably off a good 50 years but whose to say I wasn’t in here for longer than I thought?

I honestly had no clue, and I didn’t strain myself with the stress of craving taht sort of knowledge.

I was jogging around in circles around the vast, endless darkness, clearing my mind when I heard a flutter.

I stopped in my tracks and spun around to see a woman in a grey suit.

She had long, wavy red hair, a pale complexion and navy blue eyes that could have easily been mistaken for black.

I debated speaking to her, not sure if this was another trick from my own head.

She giggled, taking a small step forward.

“I’m as real as it gets, Y/N. Shameful to believe your mind is so weak that it would conjure me up. You should give yourself more credit.”

I tilted my head a bit and furrowed my brows, standing in place.

“Who are you? You dead, too?”

She smiled a scarily happy smile, almost like she was a pushy salesperson trying to sell me some load of garbage.

“I’m no person, Y/N. I’m an angel. God sent me here for you.”

“God sent you here?” I asked in the most ‘I-doubt-that’ tone I could muster.

She simply nodded and I stepped closer to her, scoffing with a fake smile drawn on my lips.

“God’s long forgotten about me, sweetheart. So why don’t you fly on out of here? I didn’t ask for no angel.”

“Oh, but you did.”

I placed my hands on my hips and rose an eyebrow at her words.

“Well, not me. But you did ask for an angel, didn’t you? Have been ever since you landed here.”

“Get to the point, ginger.”

“Why? We have time.” She spoke so sweet but so deviously all at once, pacing around the empty space as she continued her little speech.

“You weren’t brought here on purpose by anyone, Y/N. You brought yourself here…”

She paused in her spot, then stolled back over to me, placing a hand and wacthing as it slid down my chest to the spot where I had been wounded but now looks as if nothing ever even grazed the area.

“When you took a bullet to the chest.”

I eyed her carefully, stiffening under her touch. She snapped her head back up to me, hand resting on my chest.

“How brave you were and yet, how naive. So willing to risk your mortal life over a creature that couldn’t ever understand why you had saved it.”

“Her.”

“Excuse me?”

“She’s not an item, she isn’t an ‘it’. And I don’t care if she knows or not, I chose my fate and I’m not apologetic about it in the slightest.”

Her grin widened as she slipped her hand away from me.

“I’m glad you feel that way. I hope you still have that attitude when you’re in Purgatory.”

“What?” My voice held panic inside it, I didn’t want to leave this place, not anymore.

She began pacing again and she explained herself.

“You know, it’s not often I get to do this type of thing. I’m happy there’s a change in schedule, I was getting quite bored of the same old ‘you get to go to heaven!’ and ‘you’re going to hell!’ bullshit. I was craving something new…”

She spun back around to me, biting her lip.“I guess I owe you a thank you for that.”

“No…wait. There’s gotta be a misunderstanding, I’m supposed to be here.”

“What aren’t you getting here, honey? You were never supposed to be anywhere but the land of prey. You’re meant to be some demon’s dinner. God doens’t have any sacred plans for you. God doens’t even know where you are right now. You think you’re the first to have the plug pulled on ya? You’re nothing special, baby.”

“Plug? What plug? What the fuck are you on about?!”

“Oh dear, you haven’t figured it out yet, have you?”

I just stood there, breathing rapidly at the spinning of an ensuing headache.

“You’re not dead, Y/N. You’re in a coma.”

My breath hitched in my throat and my body went limp.

“Or at least, you were in a coma. But it seems like Sam’s had enough of your dreadful existence. I have to admit, it took longer than I bet on. Gonna lose some good change over this. But dropping you off into a sea of hungry misfits will make up for that.”

“You’re lying. Sam wouldn’t do that.”

“You need some proof? That’s fine.” 

With a wave of her hand to my temple my body jolted and the view of my hospital room came into view.

Sam and Dean were arguing by my bedside, Castiel gripping my hand and not tearing her sorrowful eyes away from my unconscious body.

“YOU CAN’T JUST DO THIS, SAM! IT’S NOT YOUR CHOICE!”

“IT’S TIME, DEAN! HAVEN’T YOU HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CONSTANT SUFFERING? BECAUSE I KNOW I HAVE AND Y/N WOULDN’T WANT IT TO BE LIKE THIS!”

“YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT Y/N WOULD HAVE WANTED! NO ONE IS PULLING ANY PLUGS HERE!”

“HE’S NOT GONNA MAKE IT! WOULD YOU RATHER WAIT UNTIL THEN? WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE TO SPEND THE NEXT GOD KNOWS HOW LONG CRYING OVER THE INEVITABLE, HUH?”

“NOT THAT YOU GIVE A DAMN, BUT YES, I WOULD! I PREFER TO HAVE HIM HERE AND YOU’RE NOT DOING HIM ANY FAVORS BY ACTING AS IF HE’S ALREADY GONE!”

“BEING IN A COMA ISN’T CONSIDERED AS BEING HERE, DEAN! SO, YEAH, TO ME HE’S BEEN GONE SINCE WE BROUGHT HIM HERE! START LOOKING AT THE REALITY OF THINGS FOR ONCE!”

“THE REALITY?! YOU GO-“

“ENOUGH!” The brothers looked over in surprise at the yell of an angered angel. 

Castiel stood from her spot, releasing my hand as she turned to face the the hunters.

“Neither of you has the right to dictate what happens to Y/N. you are not God! You will let Heaven decide what is best for him and if either of you-!”

She gulped and took a deep breath in.

“If any of you dares to try and take Y/N away from me…I will not be held responsible for what I’ll do to you.”

Sam’s eyes were wide with fear, Dean’s had relief wash over them at the threat, knowing Sam wouldn’t deny Cas of her wishes.

“Okay…Okay…” Sam stepped one foot forward about to reach out to Cas in comfort but she moved away, not breaking the stare they shared as she did.

She sat back down on the chair beside me and put her hand over mine as the room fell silent.

“You sure you don’t have enough juice in those tinkle toes of yours? Not even a little? Even a drop could go a far way-“

“If I could, don’t you think I would’ve by now, Dean?” Cas growled at the older man, not even glancing up at him.

“Sorry…I know you would’ve. I just miss him.”

“We all do.” Sam confirmed, walking out of the room, an expression of distress from the situation evident on his face. He wasn never able to be around people when times like this arose.

But just as he left, a beeping sounded throughout the small room.

I was flatlining.

Fast.

And there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. 

Castiel started to freak out, latching her hands onto me and shaking me, fisting my hospital gown, stroking  the sides of my face, any sort of contact she could perform she did as she spewed out all kinds of pleas, begging me to stay alive.

Dean was rushing out into the halls, screaming for assistance on the top of his lungs, running back in with nurses and docters as he tried to pull Castiel off of me to no avail.

Sam skidded back in, helping pry Cas away from me into a corner of the room as they watched the workers attempt to revive me.

The image then faded away, my eyes opening to see the redheaded angel in front of me.

“Guess Sam was too little too late, huh? I was really pulling for him.”

My mouth hung open, jaw dropped at the realization that this entire time I could of been fighting. This entire time I should have been searching for a way out. The realization that Castiel wasn’t in my head, but out there visiting me, and I never bothered to put any weight to her words. 

“Sorry, was pulling not the proper word? Too soon?” She snickered as I closed my mouth, swallowing a knot in my throat.

“Oh, have a sense of humor, will ya? Now let’s go, steamboat.”She dragged my arm but I yanked back refusing to move.

“I’m not dead yet.”

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

She tried dragging me again, this time more forceful but again, I yanked back.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Listen, I admire your determination to outlive your own body, I really do. But my job is to send you to your designated place of rest, or lack there of, and you’re starting to test my patience.”

“I’m not even a demon! I’m not a monster of any kind. I don’t belong in Purgatory!”

“Sweetie, every rule has it’s exception, and you’re purgatory’s. Your actions on Earth have been a fair share of both good and evil. When it comes to something like that, the person’s own mind determines their sentence. Normally, being the egotistical maniacs humans are, they all believe themselves to be worthy of Heaven. But you...”

She stepped a bit closer, digging her long nails into my arm.

“We both know you’ve been anticipating this for a long time. You’re ongoing battle against yourself has lead you to this, Y/N. You can’t decide if you’re a man of justice or a man of revenge and because of that you’ve managed to climb you’re way into Purgatory. Where there is no good and bad, no damned and righteous, there is only what you do best… hunting.”

She scratched down my forearm, a long trail of red in the carved marking. I winced and hissed at the pain, using my other hand to shove her down.

She shot up and charged at me, her wings extending out of her back.

She tackled me down, me writhing underneath her as she punched me in the face.I kicked her off of me, her rolling beside me and I stood only to reach down and pluck a handful of feathers from her wings as I returned the favor by bashing her head back into the floor.

She screamed, a scrunched expression of sadness overtaking her from the loss of feathers.

I started to run, to where I didn’t knoe, there really wasn’t any place to go in here, just a never ending blank canvas of black. She didn’t take long to bolt after me, trying to land a few ‘zaps’ at me, thank the lord for my yoga because I was now flexible enough to jump high over the blasts she repeatedly shot at me.

Then, the wildest idea came to me.

If I wasn’t dead, I could still pray to Castiel.

I was such an idiot, how had I not tried this before??

I chuckled distatefully at myself as I lunged, tumbled and glided out of the way of numerous attacks from the mad angel behind me, knowing if this didn’t work I was toast.

This was my last resort.

“CASTIEL!” I shouted as loud as I could, hoping my vigorious effort to get in touch with her would be heard through all the chaos in the real world.

“CAS, PLEASE! I’M HERE! I’M TRAPPED, BUT I’M HERE! CAS, DON’T GIVE UP ON ME! DON’T LET ME DIE, DAMMIT!”

“You’re precious Castiel won’t be able to hear your cries! Stop wasting your breath and give up! You can’t outrun me forever!” 

“CAS, C’MON! I KNOW YOU HEAR ME! JUST LIKE I’VE HEARD YOU!”

A blast of I’m-not-even-sure stung my leg, me limping to the ground as the redhead smirked and sped up to catch me at my weakest.

“I HEARD YOU WHEN YOU TOLD ME ABOUT NEW YEAR’S, CAS! I KNOW YOU DIDN’T KISS DEAN! I KNOW YOU DIDN’T OPEN SAM’S GIFT ON CHRISTMAS AND I KNOW THAT YOU STOPPED THEM FROM PULLING MY PLUG!”

I got up and kneeled over, panting just as the angel pinned me down and wailed me in the face, blood spurting out my nose at the hit.

“I HEARD YOU CRY, CAS! I WAS HERE! I’M STILL HERE AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO CRY ANYMOE IF YOU JUST LET-“

Another harsh blow to me face.

“LET ME OUT OF HERE!”

The angel above me dug a nail into my chest, where I had been shot.

I screamed in agony as she drilled it into me, reaching inside of the now present wound.

“I told you.” She said lowly in a deep voice, twisting her finger inside of me, making me gasp out for air. 

She reached down beside my ear, whispering. “She. Can’t. Hear. You.”

Suddenly, the real world and this one flickered back and forth.

I was overlooking the hospital room one second, seeing the drama unfold as they kept resesitaing me.

Then I was back here, watching an angel stab me with her own hand.

I went back and foth numerous times, like my sou couldn’t decide on where to go, confused on which body it was meant to inhabit.

The entire time, I felt the pain of the bullet all over again, but ten times worse.

Maybe this is what dying actually feels like.

Maybe the first time wasn’t an accurate representation of how this goes.

Or maybe the angel who was currently prolonging my death just to see the life leave my eyes was the cause of this horrific feeling.

Who knows?

All I do know, is that I regret everything now.

I used to think I was okay with how it all ended, how I went out, where I was, all of that shit.

But being in this moment right now, I realize I’m not okay with any of it, not even in the slightest.

I regret allowing myself to get shot so easily.

I regret not telling Castiel how I truly felt when I had the chance.

I regret accepting my presumed fate so quickly.

And most importantly, I regret ever letting myself believe for even a minute that I wasn’t a good person.

Because as I look back on my life, I notice all the great fucking things I’ve done.

I take notice to all the impacts I have made in people’s lives and all the sacrafices I have given for the greater good of humanity as a whole, no matter how unfairly I was ever treated.

I remember all the times I had doubted myself or taken blame for things that weren’t within my control.

I remember all the nights I’d lie awake wondering if I had a purpose.

And lying here now, I know I did.

Because maybe I couldn’t save everyone. Maybe I couldn’t fix the world. But I sure as hell did a lot more than most people, and I’m proud of that.

I’m proud of myself.

And I know my friends are too. I know Sam, Dean and Castiel would agree with me for once. I know Bobby would slap me upside the head for taking so long to come to this ruling about myself. And I know God, wherever he is, never thought any different of me. I don’t need any stupid angel to tell me any of that. So if purgatory is where she wants me to be, let her take me. And let her keep taking me back there each time I claw my way back out, because I’ll be damned if I ever give up on myself.

Not anymore.

Things started to turn white.

Everyone washed away from view until nothing was left but that whiteness.

I felt peaceful.

I felt content.

I felt…A hand?

I opened my eyes, swuinting from the bright light invading my vision.

I blinked a few times to adjust into focus.

The ceiling was white.

The ceiling…was white.

Since when were there ceilings in purgatory?

“Didn’t know purgatory had interior designers. Who the hell redecorated this place?” I muttered under my breath.

I then looked down to discover the hand I had felt was holding mine.

A soft, smaller, feminine hand.

“Y/N?”

I glanced up at the most stunning sight I had ever seen.

Castiel, with freshly tinted cheeks and wet tear stains covering the bags under her crystal eyes, looked at me from beside my hospital bed.

“Cas.”

She leaped onto me, her body devouring mine in a hug full that reeked of need.

I slowly wrapped my frail arms around her as she buried her face into my neck.

I felt her take a strong whiff of my scent and smiled to myself at the cute gesture.

I rubbed circles into her back, thriving in the moment of being back, it honestly kicking in at a very steady rate.

I couldn’t help but to wonder why I was back.

Last I knew, my destiny was sealed by a bitchy redhead.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t thankful enough for you.” She whsipered into my skin.

“Don’t be ridiculous. No need to be sorry. I shouldn’t of been so impulsive like that.” 

“No. You saved me.” She pulled back, hands around my neck as she hovered above me. “You’re my hero. Even if you are stupid.”

I let out a raspy laugh, a smile etching across her face at the sound.

And that’s when I understood.

‘You’re my hero.’

That’s why I’m back.

I had finally made up my opinion of myself.

I decided I was a good man and that I was worthy of much more than the ending I was given.

I decided that I was meant to do more in this world.

And because of that, because of me seeing myself for the ‘hero’ I am, God has given me another chance at a better fate.

“Yeah. Yeah I am.” I smiled back, running the back of my hand down her cheek as she leaned into it.

“I was wondering…” She looked down hesitantly, leaning back into her seat.

“Yeah?”

“What were going to tell me? Before you…” She trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

I stared at her in confusion, not connecting the reference.

She just waited for me to answer, knowing I was trying to remember what she meant.

“Oh.” I breathed out, my hand falling from her and onto my lap.

“I was going to say…”

Her face held anticipation and nervousness within it, my teeth knawing on my inner lip.

I was given another chance. I can’t waste it.

“I love you, Cas. And I don’t mean as a friend or a partner or family. I mean I love you. With every part of myself.”

She took in a breath, holding it for a few seconds.

And, man, those seconds felt like hours to me as my anxiety built on her response.

“I love you as well, Y/N. I thought you always knew of this.”

“Wait, what?”

“I was told humans can be oblivious to the natural sentiment that occurs between ones who share a deep attraction both spiritually and sexually due to denial and or simplicity being as…how does Dean say it? ‘Ignorance is bliss’? But I just always assumed you were not one of these humans being as you’re-“

I sat up and moved toward the rambling brunette, pressing my lips against hers lovingly.

She didn’t reciprocate the kiss and I chuckled against her lips, pulling back just a little bit.

“You talk too much. Now follow my lead.” I mumbled, her nodding in return and finally kissing back with so much emotion I thought I was going to go into another coma.

Her devotion felt like warm silk surging through me. It was almost like reading her mind, but with no words. It was wonderful.

We pulled apart and I sat back against my pillow with a dreamy sigh.

“So where’s the boys?”

“Uh-Uh-Uh-“

I laughed at her stuttering, entwining our hands together and squeezing.

“They went to go call Bobby, update him on your stability status. Or what was your stability status.”

“Perfect! When they come in here act like nothing happened. I’m gonna pretend I’m still in a coma and jump scare those sons of bitches.”

“I know I have professed my love to you but that doesn’t mean I want to be involved with your twisted ‘pranks’.”

“Wow, nice to know my girlfriend doesn’t have my back. And after I took a bullet to the chest for your angelic ass.”

I rolled my eyes teasingly, pulling her on top of me and nuzzling my nose against her temple.

“Girlfriend?”

“Do you not want to be?”

“No, I do!” 

I leaned back slightly looking up at her with an amused expression at her immediate reply.

“Relax yourself, eager beaver. I know you do.”

I pecked her nose with a light kiss and she snuggled into me.

“Ow, ow, ow. Careful with the bullet wound, there.”

“Well maybe now this will be a warning to not be an idiot.”

My chest vibrated with a rorar of laughter.

“Point taken, snarky. Next time I’ll just let you take the hit. I’d rather see you in this gown, they don’t have any backs you know.”

She picked her head up to glare at me, inches away from my own face.

“You’re impossible.”

“Impossible not to looove apparently.” I mocked, booping her nose with my pointer finger.

“For once, you’re not wrong.” 

She locked our lips in a kiss, one of her hands combing through my slightly overgrown hair.

As we let the kiss end and she cuddled me, I hummed to her before stopping.

“How long have I been in here?”

“Four months.”

“That’s it?!”

“How long did you think it had been?”

“Like…300 years?”

“Don’t you think that’s a little absurd, Y/N?”

“You know what’s absurd? The fact that I’m going to be spending the next four months up your butt to make up for my absence.”

She lifted herself up, elbows on my shoulders and hands holding her head.

“Up…my butt?”

“It’s an expression, honeybee.”

Her face was unreadable so I continued.

“Unless you don’t want it to be.”

She blushed immensely, flicking my nose.

“Hey! What was that for!?”

“Dean said if you ever got fresh with me to do that.”

“How do you even know what fresh means!?”

“I’ve learned a lot while you were asleep, Y/N. You’d be surprised.”

“Oh yeah? Well about you surprise me some more then, huh? Spill the beans, kiddo.”

“Well, for one, I understand that saying.”

She went on for the next three days updating me on all the winchesters had taught her in the past four months.

She even revealed some information “the pizza man” had taught her.

And you best believe I put that one to the test.

Let’s just say the pizza man is quite the teacher.