#gayest couple i know of who are so oblivious to it

[veebs-hates-video-games]

The more I play of the modern Ys games the more I think one of their biggest strengths might be that the people in the director/producer roles clearly really know what they're doing and know their teams really well, and they make some really smart decisions about what they are and aren't going to include or attempt to do and how they allocate resources.

They just feel like they know exactly how much time and money they have, exactly what their team's strengths are, and fit exactly as much as they can into that and don't try to do any more or less than that.

Now that I've also played Ys IX: Adol Goes to Goth Jail, it definitely seems like they figured out how to go from making mediocre games to making genuinely good games at some point between Ys Origin and Ys 8. They never quite manage to be the most incredible ever at anything in particular, but they do manage to do nearly everything they attempt to do well and without any major problems.

The series really is just a shonen anime (affectionate). Each game is a different story arc, and it's just guys being dudes going on wacky adventures in different locations, meeting a bunch of zany characters, and saving the day with the power of friendship.

I feel like 8 worked a little bit better overall than 9, but they were both plenty of fun. I actually liked the lack of towns/cities in 8 and focusing more on developing the relationships of the party members and other NPCs on your team instead, and the lack of money was pretty nice too. All the new movement abilities in 9 let them add a bunch of verticality to areas though, which let them do some pretty fun and interesting things sometimes (although some areas turned out better than others).

The problem with having larger areas with moderately high draw distance though is that it just makes the game run like garbage handheld on the Switch sometimes, all while not actually looking any better than 8 did. With the iffy framerate I got waaay fewer perfect dodges/guards in 9 than I did in 8, which is the main reason I never turned up the difficulty to compensate for 9 being otherwise much easier than 8.

Also it's a very confused game politically. I think it wants to say that no side of the conflict is totally correct or justified and there's nuance to it, but it ends up veering into respectability politics sometimes as a result and you shouldn't use physical violence against the people occupying your country because that wouldn't be very polite of you.

But also it feels very strongly that disabled people have just as much value as anyone else, there's nothing wrong with you if you're adopted or even if you're not human, and your experiences and relationships with the people around you make you family and not being blood related.

I think they did a little better at giving Adol a bit more personality this time too. They seemed like they were trying to give him a bit of character in 8 instead of just silent protagonist, but it didn't always do it for me there. I feel like they succeeded a bit better this time around even if he's still a fairly generic shonen protagonist.

They continue to do a good job making the other non-Adol characters fun though. I ended up liking most of them, but usually it was Doll and The Gayest Bartender in the World who stood out to me. I appreciate that while all sorts of people develop crushes or flirt with Adol in these games, he reacts exactly the same no matter what gender they are: complete aroace obliviousness. The only thing Adol is attracted to in that way is Adventure.

I guess now I need to wait a year or two for the next one to get localized and hope it makes it onto the Switch 2 or something in the meantime so it actually runs decently. If you'd told me a year ago that I'd genuinely enjoy the most recent couple games in the series as much as I did and be looking forward to the next one I would've been pretty skeptical, but here we are.

(oh also I lied about succeeding pretty well at everything they tried to do in the game with no major problems. The traps in the prison section are garbage and mostly not fun. They're clearly aware of it too because they included the option to skip those sections)

[billyhargrovesupsidedownshadow]

WAIT WAIT NO HARRINGROVESON TWILIGHT AU

1. Steve is a vampire, and he's the oldest one of the "children" of the family (which is Hopper and Joyce as parents, and like Steve, Jonathan, Will, Jane, Lucas, Erica, Nancy, Mike and Dustin for kids, which is A LOT, but they were the only ones allowed to keep a turned 13 yo, since it's kind of illegal in vampire society, but Joyce fought Aro personally over the kids, so they were allowed; most of them got turned in the same incident anyway, they only really picked up Jane) but Joyce and Hopper wanted the older "kids" to watch over the younger ones in public settings, and they also did homeschool them in a previous town, and THE KIDS BACK HOME ALL THE TIME IS INSANE, so they were banned to attend school again, with Erica managing to skip years to be in HS with everyone

2. Eddie is in the local werewolf pack which is definitely Tommy, Carol, Chrissy, most of the Hellfire club, Robin, Vicky and later the honorary member Argyle when he comes to visit Billy

3. Billy and Max move into town and both end up in HS because Billy had to skip a year

4. It's also the first time Steve and the vampire kids go to school in this town after moving here just past summer as well

5. Like Billy sits in the cafeteria with some popular people, and then Eddie and his pack and Steve and his bunch of kids walk in from for some reason two different entrances, and Eddie and Steve freeze looking between each other and Billy, who is oblivious

6. Because that werewolf thing and apparently vampire soulmate thing kick in (HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN TWILIGHT AND ONCE AND FOREVER SHIT) and they stand there like Spiderman meme, because it kicks in for Billy AND EACH OTHER

7. Their family/pack proceed to laugh at them mercilessly because who the hell gets two partners in the same day but also doesn't know how to approach them

8. So they start to slowly circle Billy and each other, while kids hang out with Max

9. It leads to a couple of absolutely batshit insane talks over food, a couple injuries on the basketball court, a couple "I'm so horny I literally have to go full wolf and run in the forest for a while"

10. Meanwhile Billy just lays on his bed kicking his feet in the air, writing "Dear Diary, day 39 in the gayest fantasy I'm living in apparently, so today they both got me apples and then saw each other coming over with their apples, and went to change them to oranges, but then..."

[gamergirl929]

I’m Coming Out (Krashlyn x Daughter!Reader)

@discordedme Request: Hi, your writing is amazing 😍😍 and i look forward to reading your ficlets every time you post. As a request could you possibly do one where r is Ashlyn Harris's daughter that she had when she was still a teenager (like 16). And reader is now on the national team with Krashlyn and they act like parents, and just fluff (maybe like a first cap or injury, idk). You don't have to it would just be really cool. Thx. 😁

NOTE: I discussed with the requester and tweaked things a bit to differ from the request, BUT I hope everyone likes it nonetheless. 

ALSO going to add in this prompt as well, they’re VERY similar. 

Anonymous Request: Can you do a Krashlyn kid and just their interactions with them and the team? (They are also a soccer player)

You pinch the bridge of your nose as you sink a goal in the back of the net, whistles and claps sounding from the side of the pitch.

“WAY TO GO BABY!” Ali yells, your cheeks flushing bright red.  

“THAT’S MY GIRL!” Ashlyn yells.

From out of nowhere you’re lifted into the air, your mother hugging you tightly to her chest.  

“Oh my god, we’re just at practice.” You mumble under your breath, your cheeks now blood red.

Ali laughs as she makes her way towards you and Ashlyn.  

“I think we’re embarrassing her.”  

Ashlyn grins mischievously, digging her knuckles into the top of your head, your sweaty hair now even messier than it was before.

“Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmm!” You whine, your bottom lip jutted out.  

“Yeah mommmmm!” Emily mocks you, hazel orbs widening when you sprint after her, the woman screeching loudly as she runs away.  

Kelley shakes her head as she watches you chase Emily, eventually catching her and tackling her to the ground.  

“Kids, right?” She grins as she ‘tries’ to rest her elbow on Ashlyn’s shoulder, though she’s unable to thanks to her height.  

Ashlyn shakes her head as you and Emily tussle on the ground.  

Ali rolls her eyes, making her way over to the two of you.  

“Knock it off you two!”  

The two of you sit up, glaring playfully at one another before you turn to Ali.  

“SHE STARTED IT!” You both yell at the same time, turning back to one another, giving each other a playful shove before you’re again playfully wrestling.  

Ashlyn shakes her head, turning to Kelley.  

“Idiots.”  

                                                           ***

Ashlyn would admit, she had you WAY too young.  

Getting pregnant at 16 was never what she had planned, but when she DID have you, you were the best thing to ever happen to her.  

You kept her head up when she was feeling low, you were there for her when she joined the NWSL and eventually when she joined the USWNT.  

You weren’t far behind, the older you got, the more interest you showed in soccer, following in your mother’s footsteps and joining the NWSL before you were inevitably called up to the USWNT.  

Many said it was because your last name was Harris, but those in the NWSL knew it was because of your talent with the ball and as a forward, something that pleased Ashlyn to NO end.  

Of course, as you grew, Ali Krieger became a constant in your life, the woman a mother figure to you even before she and Ashlyn got together, WHICH you always knew they would.  

You knew even before Ashlyn did that the two would be together, neither even realizing they looked at one another like they had hung the stars for one another.  

You hoped one day you would find a relationship like that.  

You clear your throat, pulled from you trance as Ali gives you a nudge.  

“Seem a little distracted.” She whispers and you shrug.  

“Maybe a little.”  

On the other side of you, Ashlyn lets out a snore, the woman having fallen fast asleep during movie night.  

“What’s on your mind kid?” She asks, smiling when you move to rest your head on her shoulder.  

“You and mom.” You mumble, Ali’s brows furrowing as she turns towards you.  

“Just how you guys were so oblivious.” You snicker, Ali rolling her eyes playfully, cheeks flushing.  

“Oh, we were?” She asks and you snort.  

“You were, you guys used to just stare each other like a couple of weirdos.” You stick your tongue out, Ali wrapping her arms around you.  

“It was your mother who was the oblivious one.”  

You grin, glancing at the woman who’s snoring softly.  

“I mean, she’s pretty oblivious, about everything.”  

Ali giggles, reaching around you to run her fingers through Ashlyn’s hair, the blonde smiling in her sleep.  

“That she is.”  

You hum, snuggling between the two of them, leaning heavily against the sleeping blonde beside you, the blonde whose arms slip around you.  

Ali wraps her arms around the two of you, making you the innards of a Krashlyn sandwich.  

Eventually, you and Ali fall fast asleep, joining Ashlyn in the world of dreams.  

                                                           ***

You had NO clue why you were so nervous, but you were, you knew they wouldn’t love you any less after you told them, still though, you couldn’t shake your nerves.  

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Emily asks from her seat beside you on the bus.  

You shrug, humming softly.  

“Just thinking.”  

Emily hums, eyeing you out of the corner of her eye.  

“It’s more than that.”  

Your eyes widen when you feel Emily lean closer, the woman’s nose pressed against your cheek.  

“Get off me you weirdo.” You laugh as you playfully swat at her, the defender pouting.  

“Hey! This weirdo is worried about you!” She huffs dramatically and you smile, resting your head on her shoulder.  

“I guess I’m just nervous.” You shrug, Emily’s brows furrowing as her head rests on top of yours, your cheeks flushing as she does so.  

“Why is that?”  

You hum.  

“I have to tell mom and Ali something, and I’m just nervous.”  

Emily hums, grinning.  

“Krashlyn are like the least judgmental people on the planet.” Emily scoffs and you laugh.  

“I know they are, I’m just overthinking it.”  

Emily slips an arm around you and your cheeks flush darker.  

“Whatever it is, it’ll be alright, and if it’s not, I’m not afraid to square up.”

You shake your head, barking out a laugh.  

“I’d love to see that.”  

Towards the back of the bus, Ashlyn and Ali share a glance, the two smiling.  

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Ali whispers and Ashlyn nods.  

“Ohh, I am.”  

                                                           ***

Starting had always been something you loved, it didn’t happen too often considering the USWNT had some of the best forwards in the world, but when it DID happen you tore the field up, something Ashlyn and Ali watched with pride.  

This game was no different, Ashlyn and Ali beaming as you race down field, the ball at your feet, running as fast as, if not faster than Christen Press.  

Ashlyn lets out a howl as you slip the ball right between the goalkeeper’s legs, sinking it into the back of the net, a massive grin on your face as you throw your fists in the air.  

Emily races down field towards you, jumping on your back, something Ashlyn and Ali watch with a grin.  

“You think she’s ever going to tell us?” Ashlyn whispers, Ali shrugging.  

“She’ll tell us when she’s ready.”  

The two smile, softly as you pull Emily into a headlock, ruffling her hair with a chuckle, the blonde pouting when you let her go, her hair a complete mess.  

You snort as you, tenderly fix her hair, the blonde’s cheeks flushing as you tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.  

“Let’s go Sontron.” You give her a playful shove, the blonde sticking her tongue out as she runs back down field, preparing for play to start again, her own cheeks pink as she takes her place on field.  

                                                           ***

The first to get to you after the game is of course, Emily Sonnett, followed by Krashlyn, the pair wrapping their arms around the two of you.  

“Great game baby.” Ali ducks down, kissing the top of your head.  

“As always.” Ashlyn grins, messing up Sonnett’s hair much like you had moments ago. “You too Sonny.”

Emily smirks.  

“Oh, I know.”  

You roll your eyes, giving her a nudge.  

“Shut up over there.” You tease, the blonde rolling her eyes.  

“Make me fool.”  

Ashlyn and Ali share a glance as the two of you start to wrestle, uncaring of the fact that the two of you are currently wrestling in front of cameras, and a stadium full of fans.  

“You think they even realize they’re into each other?” Kelley whispers to Ashlyn as she makes her way towards the group.  

“Nope.” Ashlyn shakes her head.  

“Wait, is Y/N gay?” Megan asks with a grin.  

“She hasn’t come out to us yet, but I mean...” She nods to where you’re wrestling with Emily, the two of you stilling, eyes wide and faces red when you realize Emily is on top of you, the two of you abruptly springing apart.  

Ali looks at Megan, who then turns to Ashlyn, the two nodding.  

“Yeah, totally gay.”  

“The gayest.” Tobin adds, appearing from nowhere alongside Christen.  

“Remember, let her come to you though.” Christen smiles, the woman smiling when she realizes you and Emily are staring at the group of women, your eyes wide.  

“Wh-What?” Emily stutters, running her hands down her jersey nervously, whereas you’re rubbing the back of your neck.  

“Yeah is there something on Em’s face?” You snort, earning a slap on the arm from the aforementioned blonde.  

Ashlyn shakes her head with a grin.  

“Nope.”  

Ali giggles, leaning against her wife.  

“Nothing at all.”  

                                                           ***

Your parents are literally, two of the gayest women in history, and you were completely and utterly nervous to tell them you were gay.

You weren’t sure what it was that made you nervous, you knew they would accept you as you were, but still, your stomach cramped with nervousness, your hands shook and your heart raced.  

“Okay, seriously, you look like you’re about to vomit.” Emily snorts at dinner, and you shrug.  

“Just...”  

“Thinking?” She fills in, a smile stretching across your face.  

“Yeah.”  

Emily glances around for a moment before grabbing your arm, your cheeks flushing as she drags you outside to the front of the restaurant.

“Alright, spill.” She says as she leans against the restaurant's outer wall, her hazel orbs narrowed.    

You sigh, leaning back against the building beside her, your eyes on the street that’s packed with cars, beeping loudly, the New York lights cascading down on their metal exteriors and glass windows.  

“I’m gay.” You mumble, Emily’s eyes widening momentarily before rolling them, though inside, the woman’s heart is racing.  

“Seriously?” She snorts, your eyes widening as you turn towards her, your cheeks flushed.  

“What?”  

“That’s all?” She nudges you and you shake your head.  

“I know, it’s stupid to be nervous about, right?” You huff, Emily shaking her head as she rests her head on your shoulder.  

“I mean, it wasn’t hard to tell me, right?”  

You grin, resting your head on hers.  

“Telling you anything is easy, I mean, you’re you.” You shrug.  

Emily smiles, her eyes fluttering shut as she slips an arm around you.  

“And you’re you.”  

                                                           ***

It’s later that night when you’re knocking on your parent’s door, the door opening seconds later as if the women were expecting you.  

Ashlyn steps aside, letting you in before she pulls you into a headlock, digging her knuckles into the top of your head.  

“He-Hey!” You groan, trying to wiggle out of her hold, but of course, to no avail.  

You grumble as you drop down on the end of the bed, though it’s seconds later before you’re pulled up in between Ali and Ashlyn.  

“So, what’s on your mind short stack?” Ashlyn asks, slipping an arm around you. 

You take a deep breath, your eyes fluttering shut.  

“I’m...” You swallow hard, licking your lips.  

“What is it hun?” Ali asks worriedly, a hand on your back, meanwhile Ashlyn peeks around you, sending her wife a massive grin, the blonde HOPING you were going to finally tell them what they already knew.  

“I’m gay.” You confess, the room going silent for a moment before Ashlyn groans.  

“Thank god.” She sighs. “I thought you were going to tell us you were straight.”  

Ali gasps.  

“Ashlyn!” She giggles, smacking her wife in the back of her head.  

“What she MEANT to say was, we respect you and would love you, no matter WHO you love...” Ali smiles, wrapping her arms tightly around you, giving you a squeeze.  

Ashlyn grins.  

“She’s right, you’re perfect just the way you are.”  

You smile softly, burying yourself in their embrace, simply being, between the two women you consider your parents.  

“So...” Ashlyn hums, smirking. “Does this have ANYTHING to do with a certain blonde we all know?”  

Your eyes widen.  

“A certain, clumsy, sit down comedian we all love?” Ali adds, grinning when your cheeks redden.  

“No...” You murmur, the two women snorting loudly.  

“Bullshitttt.” Ashlyn says, earning another nudge from Ali.  

“She likes you too you know.” Ali grins, your eyes widening further.  

“No she doesn’t.”

Ashlyn snickers.  

“Kid, are you blind?” She teases. “She totally does!”  

Your brows furrow in question, a smile playing on your lips.

“You think so?” You grin, Ashlyn rolling her eyes.  

“Yeah, she’s definitely gay, she’s as hopeless as most lesbians.”  

You smirk, a brow arching.  

“As hopeless as you were when you were in love with Ali and couldn’t tell her?” You challenge with a smirk, the blonde rolling her eyes.  

“Touche.”  

[kittymsmithwritesstuff]

Hi so I've seen like your horizon x bangalore stuff. and idk wanted to see legends react to it.... *pokes fingers*

You gay bitch. I’m in.

Bloodhound & Loba: Bloodhound has always liked Bangalore, they find her enthusiasm for firearms both useful and amusing, and they respect each other’s want for privacy in their personal lives. That said, there was always a sadness around her. When Loba got added to the equation she agreed that she worried about her, “because we have issues, but we also have hobbies.” It’s when they look in the firing range one day and catch Horizon kissing her, and see the lovestruck look on her face, that the two legends feel their friend will be alright.

Gibraltar: He’s been drinking buddies with Bangalore for years and always teased her about pretty girls that would walk by ‘cause she was like a teenager, just stuttering and blushing and immediately changing the subject. He was 99 percent sure if she ever tried to ask a girl out she’d faint before she finished saying “hi”. So going out to get drinks and finding Horizon and her arm in arm prompted shocked laughter, a great amount of teasing from him and Horizon to the point Bangalore buried her face in the bar, and a round of drinks on him.

Lifeline: Horizon seemed so intensely focused on her son she’s surprised when the woman mentions, casually, that she had a date that night. When she further elaborates that it’s Bangalore, she’s even more surprised since, in her mind, Bangalore is kind of an ass. Still, as weeks pass and Bangalore becomes less and less surly, she decides sometimes the perfect medicine for asshole is just a daily spoonful of sweetheart.

Pathfinder: After seeing friend Bangalore cry twice in one hour that one time, he is very happy that she has found someone so she maybe won’t have to do that again the next time someone digs into her intensely conflicted and emotional past!

Wraith: When she finds a small note apologizing for “maybe overstepping a boundary” from Bangalore in her dorm, the voices tell her something is up. At first, she thinks it’s an elaborate assassination attempt, and then she thinks Bang is just fucking with her, and then she realizes Bangalore’s been a lot happier lately, so there’s some kind of connection between that and this. Then she sees Bang leave an orchid with a bow on Horizon’s desk and realizes the connection. She concludes she and Bangalore can talk (and they do, and things are a lot less tense afterward).

Bangalore: Girl!!! Like me??? Girl!!! AHHHHHHH. Then she’s laying back in bed watching Horizon use one of her gravity pads to put Christmas lights along the rim of the ceiling and thanking God quietly in her head. It breaks her heart to think about what’ll happen when Horizon finally finds her way home, and when she hopefully finds her own, but if she’s learned anything over the years, it’s to treasure the sun before it sets.

Caustic: Raises eyebrows, nothing more. Bangalore is a competent teammate, and Horizon is an admirable scientific and intellectual equal, despite their disagreements on morality. Perhaps some interesting data changes will occur in the games with the partnership. Perhaps he’ll get more coffee. It has about the same pertinence in his life.

Mirage: He is super excited for Horizon, who visits the Paradise Lounge to talk sometimes (which he totally doesn’t spend fan-boying). She just seems so much more lively and bubbly than she already is and, well, damn, one of the Legendary Sad Sacks has to have something going for them other than a tragic backstory. He is surprised it’s Bangalore, though, cause he was pretty sure, like pretty-pretty? sure Loba had a thing for Mary, except maybe it was the new Valkyrie girl, or maybe Valkyrie had a thing for Loba and Loba had a thing for Bangalore? Wait, where was he going with this? Eh, he’ll just give Horizon a congratulatory beer and give Bang shit for it later ‘cause there was no way Horizon would let Bang coat his gym bag in prowler pheromones, right?...Right?

Octane: Lifeline tells him. He says, “yo, think getting laid will make Bang less of a tight ass?” He then recalls being thrown and waking up in the infirmary. Bangalore had been behind him the whole time. He was 100% correct, though.

Wattson: Horizon invited her over to do a dual experiment. She walked in when Bangalore was coming out of the shower, naked. She put two and two together and quizzed Horizon about all the little details while Bangalore made herself decent. She’d always known Bangalore as a little standoffish and anti-social, though sweet, so she excitedly congratulates her as well when she gets out. When their 1yr anniversary approaches, Bangalore asks if Wattson can help her make a little custom Nessie with a tiny star projector in it for Horizon and Wattson is only happy to oblige.

Crypto: He knew before everyone else because of his snooping through the Syndicate security camera detail, unwittingly seeing their first kiss almost in a camera blind spot in one of the corridors. He’s caught them hugging, kissing, and cuddling in various alcoves and corners and always quietly erases the footage for them, though says nothing. He’s just glad somebody on the dropship doesn’t hate their life.

Revenant: Didn’t know, didn’t care, vaguely threatened Horizon in front of Bangalore for funsies. He woke up in one of his other bodies a while later with an ache in his gut where she’d, apparently, severed one of his main sets of tubing. He tried to eviscerate her in the Games after that, but Horizon got him with a peacekeeper. He tried going for Horizon and suddenly there was Bangalore, and he was waking up in a new body again. He decided they weren’t worth it. Though he could have totally taken them on. Just didn’t want to.

Rampart: She gives Bangalore constant shit. Makes kissy faces, asks how her giiiiiiiirlfriend is doing in a sing-song voice, pokes her when Horizon is in sight, has sang the “Anita and Mary sittin’ in a tree” rhyme more than once, which usually makes Horizon laugh and Bang chase her. But she’s also usually the one Bangalore talks to casually about it the most, besides Loba, and thinks Horizon is good for her and, truthfully, that Bang is good for Horizon, too.

Horizon: It took her a while to admit the feelings to herself since her relationships have a history of not working out, and that she sort of had a time limit on how long she’d even be in this century. But the heart wants what it wants, and Horizon is a romantic at her core. Bangalore was initially extremely oblivious but once she said, “I like you darlin’, but I mean that in the gayest way possible” she got the memo and turned out to be a bit of a romantic herself. She feels like Bangalore keeps her grounded, out of her own head when it keeps running on the hamster wheel to nowhere. And even though the woman has like, 3 braincells some days, she loves her. One of her favorite things is when Bangalore sings in the shower, but she’s never told her that.

Fuse: He doesn’t know either very well, but he thinks they look good together. He and Horizon will go drinking sometimes, now it just involves Bangalore as well, and sometimes Gibraltar and Rampart if they tag along. But in general they’re not a couple of pikers* so they’re A-OK in his book.

Valkyrie: When they are all on a team together, she thinks it’s HILARIOUS to shout, “LET’S GO LESBIANS!” before charging another team or third-partying. Horizon and Bangalore also find it pretty funny, but neither has ever given Valkyrie the satisfaction.

*Apparently Australian slang for couples that leave parties early/boring couples. I just googled it don’t @ me

[meteor752]

Lotr Sexualities

Modern sexualities with Fantasy characters lets go

Aragorn: Pansexual. Like, if the person can pin him down in a fight, then he’s just smitten. While his heart belongs to Legolas, he did feel certain things around both Boromir and Éowyn though.

Legolas: The gayest gay to ever gay. Like, he’s that one gay friend. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

Gimli: Gimli is kinda lost on me tbh, like I don’t get a clear vibe from him, so I’m just gonna say that he doesn’t like labels, and he just does whatever the f he wants. Which is kinda on brand for him, like screw your rules.

Boromir. Bisexual. The same as with Aragorn, if they can beat him in a fight then damn this boy has fallen for them. Makes a thousand Bi puns, including the obvious one with his own name, Biromir.

Frodo: Gay. Not as gay as Legolas, but still very gay. Is more of a stressed anxious gay, that just has a problem functioning sometimes. Sometimes just cries by how pretty some guys are.

Sam: Bisexual. The softes bisexual. Everyone is so pretty and he can’t handle it. Though Frodo is the prettiest, definitely.

Merry: Bisexual. Transgender. I realize I’m making a lot of them Bi, but like...they are all soft bisexuals. Idk how being trans works in this world, but who cares. He’s an oblivious Bisexual who has no idea that his best friend has been crushing on him for years.

Pippin: Pansexual. Crushes on EVERYONE. The most obvious is Merry, of course, but he could also be found checking out Boromir, Legolas, Éowyn, and ever Frodo or Sam sometimes. Is really just a thirsty hoe.

Faramir: Biromantic Demisexual. He thought he was entirely repelled by sex until he fell in love for the first time, which was a strange discovery. He’s still new to all of this...couple stuff, but Éomer is a huge support.

Éowyn: Bisexual. Another Bisexual, and another one who’s just attracted to people that can fight her. Well, that was until she met Arwen, who yes can fight, but is also the softest and purest being in Middle Earth, who made her just melt.

Éomer: Gay. May not seem like it as he flirts with a lot of females, but he’s very gay. Not very open about it though, but yeah. Totally in love with his kinda awkward boyfriend Faramir, who he respects a lot.

Arwen: Lesbian. Lipstick lesbian to be exact. She’s just charming ladies wherever she goes, with the softest smile and the most graceful behavior. Éowyn is so in love with her that it’s insane.

Sigrid: Biromantic Demisexual. You have to earn this queen. She mostly crush on elves, despite her dwarf love. Tauriel, Arwen, and Lindir have all been in her radar.

Bain: Polyamorous Pansexual. Very in love with his partners Kamarind and Vivian. Hasn’t had too many crushes on anyone else, and he doesn’t really find anyone attractive considering he’s blind.

Tilda: Whatever she likes. She’s very inconsistent. One day it’s only dwarf males, other days it’s only females in general, some days it’s everything and some days it’s nothing. Sort of like Abrosexual, but not really as it’s a lot more fluid.

[dvmbkid]

{cismale; homosexual} Is that MICHAEL SHEEN spotted in the Capitol? No, it’s ACACIUS BECHTEL who is a FIFTY year old who is from THE CAPITOL. HE is in the Capitol because HE’S a  DISTRICT ONE STYLIST. HE has been described as SILVER-TONGUED, but also MANIPULATIVE.

i’m back for round two ;)

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Acacius Bechtel. BIRTH DATE: October 31st. AGE: Fifty. ZODIAC: Scorpio. GENDER: Cismale. PRONOUNS: He/Him. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual. STYLING FOR: District One. 

HISTORY.

acacius is ... peculiar, that’s for certain. speak to every sorry soul who’s ever met him and they’ll give you some variation of the word. his parents were quite the same. they were sponsors, powerful ones. the two of them could buy their way to the moon and back without a dent in their bank account.

that being said, their bank accounts were the only positive thing about them. acacius wasn’t well attended to. they were always out, either doing business or swinging with other rich married couples their age. they didn’t even care enough to hire a caretaker. he took himself to school, he cooked his own food, and mended his own clothing. it took a lot of trial and error, but he had to grow up quicker than most of his fellow capitol citizens. 

the older he got, the closer his parents tried to get with him. they started taking him to events with food he couldn’t cook in clothes he couldn’t hand sew. his maturity impressed all sorts of big wigs involved with the games, from sponsors to gamemakers. he was making connections with the government at sixteen, during the 66th games. he was able to see great things because of the places his parents took him to and the people he talked to, but it didn’t come without some things he’d rather forget. maltreatment of staff, tributes, and mentors --- he wishes he would’ve stopped them.

by the time he turned eighteen he was offered an apprenticeship under one of panem’s most prominent stylists and damnit he fell for him like a rock. acacius’ every thought was centered around coming up with new ideas to impress and prove himself to him. everyone thought it was a little weird, it was obvious how obsessed he was with him but even then he continued working to impress, completely oblivious to the traction his work was getting in the meantime.

his apprenticeship ended when he was twenty. he’d be a fool to stop working for the capitol, there was nowhere else he could go but up. this also meant that he wasn’t working under his schoolyard crush anymore. acacius would be lying if he said he didn’t screw him after the 71st games.

their relationship didn’t progress much further than that. some people need ... distance and acacius understood that. they seldom spoke after that and it stung, but hearing he was executed for supporting the failed rebellion that took place after the 74th games hurt more than he could understand. he tried not to think about it again, but it planted a seed of doubt in him that he couldn’t shake. maybe he could do something to help. one day.

since then, he’s kept his romantic life out of work. mostly. he just tries to keep his heart out of the game; it’s far too dangerous. he’d rather rub elbows with the capitol’s fattest cats --- and flirt with the closeted ones. it’s more fun when there aren’t any strings attached.

acacius had nowhere to go but up. he’s been seen with some of the most prominent figures of panem and he knows exactly what he wants to get out of them. he has people to do all of the things he had to do himself, but it ... spoiled him, a little bit. he expects everyone to wait on him hand and foot. it’s the capitol and he’s been in the game since diapers, so this works out in his favor more often than not.

to the naked eye he might seem like every other capitol citizen, all inflated egos and flashy dress, but acacius is different. it’ll just take a little more heartache to figure that out.

HEADCANONS & PERSONALITY

this is the gayest man alive. he gets it from me.

he is nice in the capitol kind of way. i always see it as minnesota nice with californian levels of passive aggressive, for my ‘mericans out there who are familiar with the vibes. basically, acacius could read the shit out of you and still have the decency to clean up the library afterwards. if you get my drift.

i wanted him to have the aziraphale voice so i gave him the aziraphale voice.

he’s got a soft heart, though. he cares a lot about the tributes and tries to make their pieces individual to them. fashion is nothing if it isn’t unique. he’s styled for every district throughout his career and he’s met a lot of different people, it’s still hard for him to grasp that most of them are dead. speaking of, i really want him to be friends with a victor he styled. i can’t stop thinkin abt it.

in a lot of ways, he’s very similar to his parents. socialite with a hedonistic streak. homie FUCKS !! 

i’m basing him off of tan france, jvn, oscar wilde, and just abt every young bright person. not from the movie but from, like, life. 

i am so tired. i'm having starbucks withdrawal. i hope you enjoy this because my brain is soft like cottage cheese and i don’t think you can get any more of this outta me.

[planetkookie]

How To Get A Date: Movie Edition (Step Three: The Arrival)

Summary:  Getting to the theater, Patton figured it would be easy to pretend it wasn't a date. That's turning out to be harder than he expected.

Warnings: Deceit, swearing 

Notes: Again, it’s a little short. Sorry! But! I hope you guys enjoy chapter three!

Link to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18735910 

<Previous Next>

*Pawton is typing in a private group chat with Princey, Emo 3000, Starbucks, Doctor Cartoon, Snake, and The Gayest of Them All…*

Pawton: Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit it’s happeniiiiiiiiiiing guys hellpppppppp

Princey: Wow, it must be serious if you’re swearing, Pops The Gayest of Them All: Pat, you’ve got this! Logan doesn’t even know it’s a date so just act like you’re hanging out like normal :D

Pawton: Good point,,, I’m just nervous,,,,

Emo 3000: I would be too.. What if he figures it out?!

Starbucks: Wow you really are true to your screen name

Emo 3000: Thanks.

Pawton: GUYS I DON’T WANT HIM TO FIND OUT WHY OWULDYOUSYATHAT

Snake: Sorry what was that?

Pawton: HHHHHHHH

Doctor Cartoon: Patton, just take some deep breaths. But make them inconspicuous. Try and talk to him! It’ll be okay. He probably won’t find out anyways, we all know that Lo is awful with feelings.

Princey: There’s the tea

The Gayest of Them All: True

Emo 3000: It’s ridiculous how oblivious he is with feelings. And I’m the one who has to deal with it cause I ROOM with him.

Starbucks: Oh go cry me a river.

Snake: Lol

Emo 3000: >:(

Princey: Lol

*Multiple people are typing in a private chat with Princey, Emo 3000, Starbucks, Doctor Cartoon, Snake, and The Gayest of Them All…*

*Notifications for the private chat with Princey, Emo 3000, Starbucks, Doctor Cartoon, Snake, and The Gayest of Them All was turned off*

Patton shut off his phone and shoved it into his sweatshirt pocket. Leaning his head back so it touched the seat, he took a deep breath and spared a glance over at Logan. The man was focused on the road, a neutral expression on his face. That was normal a normal expression for him, his face void of any emotion. If anyone had looked at him now, they would probably have thought he was a robot. Though, if you really knew Logan, you would know that he was extremely focused. You’d see his hands gripping the wheel as he stared out the windshield. But that was the joy of being Logan’s friend. You got the privilege of knowing all of his different sides and feelings. You got the privilege of knowing who he was. The privilege of learning each and every of his different habits and expressions. Patton remembered first meeting Logan, how closed off he was then. And he thought of now, how open Logan was able to be with their friends, how he wasn’t afraid to share how he felt with them now, how he was able to say any random fact that popped into his head without shame or fear that they would think he was annoying. He smiled softly and turned to look out the window. His thoughts drifted away for the millionth time that day.

The jerk of the car as it came to a stop jolted Patton out of the comfortable chaos of his mind. He flushed, realizing he didn’t say anything to Logan the entire ride, and as he fumbled with the seat belt, his mouth stuttered out an apology. Finally making it out of the car, he turned towards Logan with a sheepish expression on his face. But Logan, calm and neutral as ever (which both aggravated Patton and calmed him at the same time), just smiled and promised that it was fine. That he didn’t mind, and that it was a comfortable quiet.

The nerves came back full swing as they walked into the movie theater together. He knew he had meant for this to be a date, he was fully allowing himself to admit that now after earlier’s panic, but he was extremely aware that he and Logan probably looked like a couple. What made it worse was that he knew that Logan probably didn’t even think of that when he slipped his hand into Patton’s to lead them into line. He probably didn’t think of that even when Patton unconsciously didn’t let go. Which he did now, slipping the hand into his pocket. The butterflies were rampant.

Thankfully he had pre-ordered the tickets. They had gotten to the front of the line and Logan had opened his mouth to offer to pay for the tickets. He had taken them out of his pocket and handed them to the lady at the counter, feeling the powerful feeling of Logan’s grumpy face burning into the back of his head. He smiled sweetly, turning back to his friend, and led them into the snack line. Mentally he kept note of what snacks Logan had wanted as they talked in line, but once they got to the front, Logan pushed in front of him and ordered for the both of them. His heart pounded, sounding like thunder inside of his body, but he put on a fake pout to mask it. Or at least try.

Logan slipped his hand back into Patton’s as they walked into the theater, but he knew it was to only bring them to their seats. Mentally sighing, he sat down and steeled himself. He could do this.

Taglist: 

@tacohippy56900

@freepaperie081 (HEY IM SO SORRY I DIDNT ADD YOU SOONER I JUST WENT THROUGH MY NOTES AND SAW YOU ASKED HHHH)

[corystssides]

Roommates, Part 4

Words: 1464

Summary: Roman gives Patton all the details now that he’s back.

Warnings: second-hand embarrassment, probably, talking about one-night stands, mentions of a couple gay stereotypes, speculating about other people’s  orientations, betting, mentions of arguing, I believe that’s it but let me know.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Roman was headed back from the communal showers when he saw Logan emerge from his own room and stride furiously toward him. He wondered if Logan was going to solve all of Virgil’s problems with varying degrees of annoyance. But no--he diverted left when they got to the staircase. He nearly ran into Patton, who was coming off the staircase, but he didn’t acknowledge either of them, almost as though he hadn’t even seen them.

Patton stared after Logan, bewildered, as Roman came to stand next to him. “I wonder what bee’s in his bonnet,” Roman said.

“I dunno. He looked really mad though. I hope he and Virgil aren’t fighting,” Patton said, bewilderment turning to concern.

“Do they even have reasons to fight? They’re ‘just roommates, not friends,’ after all,” Roman said, mocking Logan.

“I feel like that gives them even more reasons to fight, since friends are supposed to get along,” Patton said, dryly. “Whatever it is though, I hope they work it out, otherwise game night is gonna be really awkward.”

“Yeah...about that…” Roman said, trailing off with a grimace.

“What? Is dating Virgil going to interfere with game night? Game night is sacrosanct, Roman!”

“I don’t know what that means, Pat,” Roman said, starting to walk towards the dorm. He pulled out his keys and started to wiggle the dorm key into its lock. “But no, dating Virgil isn’t going to interfere with game night,” he got the door unlocked and swept into the room, quietly adding, “uhh, especially since we’re uh, not, dating.”

The door closed behind Patton, which was good, because Roman would have died on the spot if the entire dorm could have heard him say, “Oh my gosh, you had a one-night stand with Virgil?!”

“Patton!” Roman squeaked, gesturing to the wall that they shared with Virgil and Logan, as though to say he is right there!

“Sorry,” Patton said, and then, in a whisper, “You had a one-night stand with Virgin Mobile, though?”

“Okay, first of all, I don’t like the judgement in your tone--” Roman said, already putting on the Heathers soundtrack so his neighbor couldn’t hear whatever ridiculous thing Patton said next.

“No no, that’s not what I meant to sound like!” Patton said. “Of course, expression of sexuality is totally normal and should be encouraged--”

“Patton.”

“--even if, uh, it doesn’t take a necessarily traditional route--”

“Patton!”

“--and as long as everything was consensual, I mean, there’s totally nothing wrong with that, I didn’t mean to make it sound like--”

“Patton!” Patton shut up, and Roman ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “We didn’t--we’re not dating, we didn’t have a one-night stand, nothing---nothing like that, okay? I asked Virgil to help me with my math since Logan wasn’t there and it’s positively incomprehensible, and then we were watching Lion King at like one am, and Virgil fell asleep, and I didn’t know if I had permission to sleep on your bed in situations like that, and I didn’t want to text and ask at one in the morning, so I just didn’t, okay? It was completely platonic sleeping together--not sleeping together--just--we were sleeping, just sleeping, not doing anything but sleeping, and it happened to be in the same bed, and--and that’s it, nothing else. No feelings towards each other, whatsoever, except, y’know, like friendship.”

“Well, you could have fooled me!” Patton said cheerfully.

“Patton what in the name of the Bard Himself is that supposed to mean?” Roman asked with a glare.

“Nothing,” Patton said, smile dropping, “I’m sorry. If you say there’s no attraction between the two of you, then there’s no attraction between the two of you.”

“Great,” Roman said. “As long as we’re clear on that.”

“Totally clear,” Patton said. “One thing that’s not clear, though: how is this going to make game night awkward?”

“Well, with the way Virgil sprinted out this morning, I have a feeling he’s, uh, pretty embarrassed about what happened. Heteros tend to do that, you know, when anything kinda gay happens.”

“Heteros?” Patton asked disbelievingly. “Virgil? Straight? Would you like to borrow my glasses?”

“I think you need your prescription checked,” Roman said, rolling his eyes. Now that the topic had turned lighter, he made his way towards the dresser, since he really should put clothes on instead of just a bathrobe. “Have you seen the way he acts towards me? Every time he sees me, he gets, like, this look of fear in his eyes or something. And until we spent the whole night arguing about coin flip problems, he wouldn’t even be within like a yard of me. It’s like ‘no homo’ deluxe. I’m just the only gay he knows about, obviously, because of the theater gay stereotype, which is why he acts normal around you.”

“Listen, Roman, the way he acts around you is like...the total opposite of ‘no homo.’ If anyone is an oblivious straight around here, it’s clearly Logan.”

Roman pulled out a tank top and a floral print shirt to put over it. “Patton, nobody owns that many NASA shirts unless they’re gay or literally living on the International Space Station. You’ve clearly been deciev--wait, what? What do you mean Virgil acts like the opposite of ‘no homo’?”

Patton gave a knowing smirk, picked up the note he’d left for Roman that morning and waved it around a bit. “You said there’s no attraction between the two of you, so there’s no attraction, but I’m just saying there’s a reason why it was so easy for me to assume that you two were dating now. Well, besides the fact that you two were literally in bed together.”

“Are you trying to imply something?” Roman asked, pulling on a pair of skinny jeans.

“I don’t really imply things, being straightforward is usually the best bet, but if I was implying something, I’d probably be implying that we’re not the only useless gays who don’t know how to ask someone on a date. But I don’t imply things. So you definitely shouldn’t act upon subtext like that.”

“Very subtle,” Roman said. “But first off, My Chemical Bromance isn’t my type, second off, I 100% doubt he even likes me in a neighborly way, and third off, not everyone in the world is gay, Patton. And besides, four gays in neighboring dorms who are not part of the gay residential community? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“We are part of the gayest generation,” Patton said. “Only half of us identify as straight.”

“Well, there you go, looks like neither Logan nor Virgil are gay then, sorry.”

“That’s not how statistics works and you know it,” Patton said.

Roman raised his hands up in a mocking surrender. “You’re right, you’re right. If we use statistics, there’s even less of a chance all four of us are gay. 50% chance, it’s exactly like a coin flip problem, which means the chance that all four of us are gay…” Roman pulled out his phone and pulled up the calculator. “...a little over six percent. Which means super unlikely.”

Patton’s smug look had yet to be removed. “Bet?”

“The numbers are on my side.”

“I’m not confident in your math skills. Bet?”

“Fine. Sure. Fifty bucks says that one or both of our neighbors is straight, and it’s probably Virgil.”

“Fifty bucks it is then!” Patton said, cheerfully. “No outright asking them though. They have to volunteer the information. We don’t want to put them in a situation where, if they were gay, they’d lie because they’re uncomfortable.”

“Great,” Roman said. “Can’t wait to be fifty bucks richer.”

“Don’t count your chickens before they cross the road,” Patton said teasingly. “In the meantime though, you should talk to Virgil about last night, and resolve the awkwardness between you two. Game night is Wednesday, after all.”

“Yeah…” Roman said, flopping backwards onto his bed. “I need to come up with a way to do that first. And since we are on the topic, if something like that happens again with anybody else, would you mind terribly if I sleep on your bed for the night?”

“Not at all!” Patton said.

“Fantastic,” Roman said. “Hopefully I won’t need it, but thanks.”

Patton grabbed a sweater and put it on. Then, he turned back towards the door. “Have fun talking to Virgil. I’m gonna go find Logan.”

“Why?”

“I want to find out if he and Virgil are fighting.”

Roman made a noise of amusement. “You can’t force them to get along.”

“I’m gonna make them friends if it’s the last thing I do,” Patton said. “I will fight them! With friendship!”

“Okay Patton.”

“See you later. Good luck!”

“Same to you.”

~

Next

[texanredrose]

Dear Diary - June

aka “Useless Lesbian Observes Other Useless Lesbians, Featuring Blake Belladonna, Who Is Both the Only Sane Woman And Too Much of a Gay Mess To Make Use of That”

June 1st- Dear Diary, I know I said I outgrew you years ago, but I find myself in the unique position of being surrounded by idiots. Moreso than usual, at any rate. Yang- that brute from the boxing team- has become a dear enough friend to me since graduation that I decided to invite her to my birthday party earlier this year. Her sister, Ruby, has truly been the best friend I could’ve hoped for- barring a few... unfortunate incidents... that we swore to never speak of again- and I’d thought she’d come along as a plus one anyway, but the personal invitation seemed to be the better route and while I wasn’t disappointed by including her, it’s quickly devolved into a constant source of frustration for me. At the party, she met Winter, and they are quite possibly the gayest, most oblivious twits on the face of Remnant. I am positively suffering, Diary. I can only stand them dancing around each other for so long! Not to say they wouldn’t make a cute couple- Winter somehow appreciates Yang’s terrible sense of humor and Yang’s always been the supportive sort, and she doesn’t seem the least bit put off by Penny, something I can only take as a good sign- but I’m caught in the precarious situation of full well knowing they could be together but not being able to convey that effectively. Yang’s too hardheaded to do anything other than what she wants to, when she wants to, and Winter possesses the same aversion to ‘good natured advice’ as I do, so I’m forced to be subtle. Yet, the hints I’ve already tried dropping to both of them may as well have been given to a brick wall and a statue, respectively. I don’t think they’re intentionally being obtuse but I’m forced to wonder how metaphorically blind someone must be to miss the signs of attraction between them. How long until they drive me insane? Or until the sexual tension suffocates the rest of us? I’ll let you know, Diary.

p.s. I suppose I should mention this, if only to try to work it out for myself. For the past few months, I’ve been discussing the whole ridiculous issue with Blake. I know Ruby would rather not be privy to her sister’s romantic pursuits, even if she did make it known that she holds the same opinion as I do regarding a potential relationship between our sisters, so my options have been limited when it comes to frank, open discussion. But I’ve noticed she’s acting a bit... odd, recently. I mentioned that, were I Winter, I would absolutely consider Yang’s ‘friendly gift’ of a hand-picked flower bouquet- regardless of the excuse- a romantic overture. The next day, Blake showed me a collection of flowers she’d picked when Yang went and let me have them- a beautiful collection, I might add; she certainly has a tasteful eye for compositions. When I reminded her of my words the day before, she just... turned around and walked away. Quickly. I’m not quite sure what to make of it.

June 4th- Dear Diary, I decided to be proactive. If Yang and Winter deign to continue dancing around each other, than I’ll simply have to coax the two of them together myself, now won’t I? Unfortunately, it’s easier said than done.

I thought it would be easiest to give them a comfortable, casual setting, so I cajoled Ruby and Blake into helping me organize a dinner of the sort Ruby and Yang recalled from their childhoods- a bar-bee-queue, though I’m not sure if that’s the proper spelling. While the food itself was delicious, the mingling portion attracted a few more people than I anticipated. First Jaune showed up, which I probably should’ve anticipated seeing as he remained close friends with Ruby, and he’d brought Pyrrha along. On its own, innocent enough, but I should’ve expected Yang’s penchant for showboating to turn a game of horseshoes into a competition and that Pyrrha would be too polite to decline, and one should never introduce a Schnee to something competitive and expect things not to escalate. Although I’ll admit it’s the most I’ve seen Winter smile in a long while- perhaps since she finalized Penny’s adoption- things quickly got out of hand when Nora and Ren showed up, mainly because of the former and not the latter. Long story made short: there were firecrackers involved, a debate on the proper ratios of gunpowder, the fire department eventually showed up, and we are never letting Ruby ‘prove a point’ in such a fashion again. Thankfully, Winter’s extensive research into first aid ended up being quite useful, though I still believe she’s being a touch paranoid in regards to Penny. She babies the young woman so very much- and much to the contrary of what’s been implied by others, I’m not, in the slightest bit, jealous that Penny’s being treated with kid gloves while Winter gave me more of a ‘tough love’ treatment; our situations are entirely different and we’ve come to terms with the difficulties of our pasts, and I honestly wouldn’t trade the bond we have now as sisters for anything in the world- but I suppose it does have its merits. And watching Yang’s absolutely lovestruck expression while Winter tended to everyone’s wounds, that dopey grin that makes her look like she’s just waking up after a surgery... I’ll admit, I’d rather like for someone to look at me like that. Not in public, perhaps, because she probably should have paid more attention to the firefighter asking her questions, but I’m quite certain Yang would worship Winter if given the chance, and I am trying very hard to ignore the double entendre, dust damnit, I’ve been hanging out with that buffoon too long.

What I mean is, I know Yang would be good for Winter, and Winter’s come so very far in showing open affection since she became Penny’s guardian. I just don’t know how to make them see that. It was positively comical watching them amid the chaos- every time Yang would be wearing that dopey grin, Winter would be entirely focused on the task at hand, while whenever Winter anxiously looked her way, Yang would be trying to cheer up Pyrrha or Jaune- which reminds me, I should check in with them, they seemed a bit shaken up after the explosion- or joking with the firefighters, and watching the relief and softness that came to her expression...

For all our difficulties in the past, I love my sister deeply, and I am resolute in helping her get together with Yang. I truly believe they could be the exact sort of supportive partner the other needs. Now, if they’d only stop being oblivious idiots and assist me, that’d be swell.

Also... well, I didn’t get a chance to mention this during the party itself due to all the excitement but... Blake wore this stunning summer dress and earrings in both sets of ears and I am once again awestruck by both her inherent beauty and her knack for bringing it out in such a subtle way. If I hadn’t been so focused on watching Yang and Winter, I’d probably have found it difficult to look away from her. If there is a bright side to this whole mess, it’s that I’m getting to spend more time with Blake. I’m rather peeved at myself for not doing so before; she’d absolutely delightful company- witty and reserved but passionate and dedicated. I think I should invite her to the mall the next time I go; I’d love to have her opinion on a dress for the gala in a few months.

And hasn’t that given me an idea.

June 13th- Dear Diary, So far, my attempts to convince Winter to ask Yang to the gala have been met with reactions varying from stammered excuses to outright refusals. Apparently, Winter’s of the mind that Yang would absolutely detest such a stuffy affair, and while I don’t think she’s wrong, I also know that Yang is a woman of many skills, and blending in when she wants to happens to be one of them. However, all my efforts on that front have been met with limited success, so I’m forced to try cajoling Yang into giving her opinion on the matter without being quite so obvious in setting her up to do so. Thankfully, Blake’s been a true friend and brought it up during our game session the other night. Oh, she tried avoiding the question at first, but very quickly, Yang stopped dancing around and said that she’d always wanted to go to a ‘fancy party’ but lacked the funds for an appropriately stylish gown. She expressed a sincere concern that her concept of ‘fancy’ and the standard fare for the gala were worlds apart but, other than that, seemed rather interested in attending- which is more than I can say for either of us who are invited.

Well, if there’s one thing the past few years have taught me, it’s that good friends can’t be bought, but money can make the lives of good friends much better. Naturally, when Winter brought up going shopping this weekend for our outfits, I invited along Yang and Blake as well. The four of us doing a little bonding and shopping, what could go wrong? Winter perhaps saw through my attempt at feigning nonchalance with the suggestion, but agreed all the same. Even if she won’t admit it, I think my suggestion is taking root.

I will keep you updated, Diary. Right now, I think it’s the only thing preserving my senses. Oh, and I’m rather looking forward to what sort of attire Blake might opt to wear. I floated the idea that I can’t possibly keep tabs on both Winter and Yang throughout the night alone and asked if she would mind accompanying me. She responded to the idea positively, and I’m glad Yang as such a stalwart friend to look out for her. Maidens know she needs a few, with the way she carries on. I think I might start keeping a closer eye on her; with a friend like Yang, she’s bound to need someone to lean on herself from time to time, and while I have no doubts as to Yang’s abilities to look out for her best friend, I’m sure Blake could always use a little extra support. And, really, she deserves it. Our outing to the mall turned out rather nice; perhaps she’d like to join me for a run through the park one of these mornings? I realize she’s not as interested in maintaining the rigorous fitness regimen she’d kept while a member of the track and field team, but a little job in the morning isn’t too much, right? Considering her figure, I’m sure she’s still athletic enough for it.

I feel like I should at least make the offer and hope for the best.

June 17th- Dear Diary, On the one hand, success. It took only one look at Yang in a beautiful white gown that accentuated her figure while remaining modest- so much like the one she wore to the Spring Formal during our Sophomore year at college- and Winter could hardly form words. I’ve never seen my sister so gobsmacked in twenty two years of being on this planet. Some part of me is absolutely ecstatic; when I suggested Yang attend the gala with Winter, no one objected. Winter just nodded, as if the power of speech eluded her completely, and I’d be willing to wager Yang had a similar reaction to Winter’s choice of a white tuxedo with blue accents, even if I personally find it a bit... cliche, at least when it comes to Winter. She never did take a liking to dresses, for some reason. Anyway, Yang’s eyes positively lit up, but she retained the power of speech rather effortlessly. She’s always been the resilient one, bouncing back from even the hardest hit.

On the other hand, I... believe I may have miscalculated on something. Blake looked absolutely gorgeous in her selected gown- purples and blacks that made her amber eyes pop out like freshly polished gemstones- but she seemed almost shy when I said as much. I’m concerned; being around Blake is so easy, effortless even- it’s not like Ruby’s high energy or Yang’s sustained exposure, or even Winter’s strong insistence or Penny’s genuinely clueless demeanor. I’m not sure if her sudden shift to being more distant is a sign that my company is unwanted- the very thought puts a pain in my chest, to be frank- or if there’s something else. Perhaps she’s self conscious? It was just a few years ago when we were... less than cordial with each other, and now she’ll be hopefully attending the gala with me to help get Winter and Yang together. It might put her in an awkward position.

I’ll simply have to ensure there’s no lingering discomfort.

6 - 20

Okay. So, like, I haven’t done this in a while- like, a LONG time- but I remember it used to help me figure things out when I was younger, kinda like a to-do list for processing the things I could barely understand after Mom died. I think some therapist suggested it to me, I dunno- not the point.

What IS the point? Straight up: I am falling faster than a sky diving elephant with a tungsten parachute and I have no clue what to do.

I guess I could go back to the beginning, just real quick, because maybe mapping it out will show me what to do next, like, as if I could just draw out a time line and figure out when would be a good time to make the next move- provided I even COULD to begin with, because I’ve been a mess recently, lemme tell ya.

Anyway, so this chick, Weiss- great gal, a bit uppity at the start but that’s mostly passed, a real sweetheart once you get past the frosty exterior- invited Rubes and me over to her birthday party. I figured no big, bring a gift, eat some cake, try not to get kicked out, the usual when it comes to dealing with people who’ve yet to embrace the sacred art of The Pun.

Well, there I was, minding my own business, when I turn and come face-to-face with Weiss’ sister, Winter. She’s mentioned her before- taller, more severe, more exacting, the product of too high expectations and military training pushing her to the limits and her somehow not breaking but coming out jagged and jaded, all in all a rough sounding customer- but this is the NEW and IMPROVED Winter, after they’d reconciled and started fresh, and I’m just. I’m still not over it. I’ve almost steamrolled people before on accident- that’s what happens when ‘each muscle group has its own zip code’ as Blakey puts it- but I bumped into her and almost stumbled myself! Apparently, she’s been keeping up with the military physical regimen now that she’s out. So of course, my next thought is ‘this chick’s gonna deck me’ and I swear I saw it flash in her eyes, but then she just smiles that little Schnee smile, and apologizes- can you believe that! Straight up said the word ‘sorry’ like it was nothing! Geez, hard enough to get Weiss to say that, must run in the family (though, I should give the little frosty some credit, she’s gotten A LOT better since she started hanging out with us).

Well, anyway, I figure I should be polite, yeah? So, we start talking, and she mentions her daughter- she said ‘ward’ is a better term, but after I asked her if that meant she was secretly Batman, she laughed and agreed the word sounded a bit ridiculous out loud.

And, yeah, her laugh? It sounds R I D I C U L O U S. I swear, it’s like she’s so unused to actually LAUGHING that she hasn’t figured out how it’s supposed to sound. Ah, that probably sounds mean, but it’s not really a bad thing! Listening to how her laugh changed, became more natural as I kept telling jokes- honestly, I’m digging it!

So, anyway, I mention how I basically raised Ruby, and the convo started gettin... kinda heavy I guess? We started talking about regrets and stuff- things we wish we’d done differently, how proud we are that our sisters turned out so good after the hell they were put through. I get the feeling Winter blames herself for a lot of it and well... yeah, I can see that, but I can also see she’s trying to do better with Penny. Gave her some tips, told her to not lose faith in herself.

Look, I know it’s not much, but when she looked me dead in the eye and said she appreciated my advice, that it sounded smart and heartfelt? It got me. It’s been a while since someone didn’t take a look at either the muscles or the hair and assume I’ve got less between my ears than there is water in a Vacuon desert. Hell, even BLAKE gave me shit when I tried giving her advice, and she’s my best friend!

Anyway, that’s all a few months ago, and between then and now, I think I’ve gotten a pretty good read on Winter. She’s still trying to figure out how to be supportive without being abrasive and while she’s not super crazy about being called out on it, I think I’ve figured out how to do it without ticking her off. It’s worked a few times, anyway, and it made me feel good that I could help her out, like a friend would.

But, ya know, I’m also thinkin... maybe we could be more than friends? She’s smart, she’s strong, she’s dedicated almost to the point of being self destructive, and while she’s got some rougher areas, she’s genuinely trying to be a better person- for Weiss’ sake and Penny’s. I noticed she’s hugging both of them more than she used to, anyway, but that also might have something to do with a... kinda... near death experience that I had no part in whatsoever, nope, I did NOT start that. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

Maybe it’s just my ego getting into it a bit but... I dunno. I mean, part of any relationship is growing together, while also growing as individuals, and everyone I’ve been with in the past romantically I’ve left in the dust. With Winter it’s like... yeah, she’s ahead of me in some ways, but way behind in others- she does know her way around an engine, though, lemme tell ya- and it’s a nice change. Because there’s things I can teach her and there’s things she’s teaching me, like how changing my posture helps improve my mood and stuff. She says half the work is mental but I dunno, I think she’s onto something.

Geez, now I’m even more confused. I mean, she laughs at my jokes, like REALLY laughs, and she doesn’t act like I’ve got some sort of reputation to live up to or stereotype to abide. I can just be ME and she seems to really like ME. But she doesn’t sugar coat ANYTHING; she definitely isn’t the type to beat around the bush. I’ve gotten so used to people just avoiding the bad spots in my past- I mention my bio mom abandoned me as a baby, and they stop mentioning moms altogether, even though I had a GREAT mom for a long time! It’s just little stuff like that- but Winter’s not the type of person to avoid the parts that hurt. When I started going off at the BBQ about finally getting a hint about Raven, she listened and encouraged me- cautioned me, too, because it’s been over twenty years and I get it, it’s not like I’m expecting a happy ending- but ya know. I can’t even get Dad to talk about her, and Ruby never knew her, and Qrow’s too drunk to speak any language more than half the time so... having someone to just talk to about the things that bother me who isn’t going to try and turn it around or something... it meant a lot.

But also, like... have I mentioned she’s drop dead gorgeous? Because she is. For whatever reason, Weiss invited me and Blakey on a shopping trip, looking at fancy dresses for this big party they have coming up, and I thought, ya know. I look good, I know it, so might as well try and hedge my bets, yeah? Picked out a nice dress- that I wouldn’t be able to afford if it wasn’t for Weiss spotting me the money, gotta figure out how to pay her back, I’d almost forgotten that part- and, yeah, I rocked it.

But Winter. Holy- there’s no words. I never really thought about it before but I have a weakness to women in suits, I’ve suddenly discovered, because my knees went WEAK. Like. 

Yeah, so writing this out isn’t doing me ANY good, obviously, because I can’t even figure out HOW TO WORD right now just remembering it. I just.

Winter ticks a lot of boxes for me. Blake says that’s an awful way to put it, like people are just a series of traits that can be easily put in boxes rather than a complex series of emotions and tendencies, but there’s no better way to put it! She’s not perfect by any means but I’m starting to see the woman beneath the rough exterior- it’s just like how Weiss took some time to open up and not be a total brat. 

And I really wanna be there to see it, up close.

I dunno. It’s probably me getting ahead of myself- wouldn’t be the first time- and I should cool my jets. From what Weiss has said, she’s still adjusting to life outside the military and they’re both getting used to freedom away from their family. Maybe I’m just excited- I love meeting new people, and Winter’s definitely a character in her own right, and Penny’s absolutely adorable, I think she hit it off with Ruby and they’re, like, best friends now.

I guess I’ll see where things go. I mean. I like her, but it’s only been a few months, so maybe this crush is entirely superficial and it’ll die out.

Oh, but I am going to the fancy party with her! I guess bringing someone along is a pretty big deal and it’d be a shame not to wear this dress somewhere. Probably won’t ever have a chance again.

Not sure I can curtsy in those heels, though. I think I’ll practice that and just get through the party, then worry about the rest. Think I’ll go pick some wildflowers for her again; she really seemed to like that.

Maybe there’s some merit to this ‘writing shit down’ thing after all.

20170623

Some part of me vehemently disagrees with the notion of recording my thoughts and feelings anywhere they might be found but I find myself at an impasse. Traditionally, if I encountered a problem, I would construct a sand table with whatever materials were available to me and work things out from there, but this isn’t the sort of problem that can be flanked or out maneuvered. I can at least take comfort in knowing that Penny won’t stumble onto this, so long as I keep it in my desk.

It’s been just over a year since I left the military service. Reintegration to civilian life has been... bumpy to say the least but progress is being made. I have a decent job, I have means of transport, and I make enough to support myself and Penny comfortably. By all accounts, I’m doing rather well and even James agrees. I certainly wouldn’t be this stable had I remained in the rotation, so leaving has proven to be the best solution to fit my needs.

However, I know there’s a long way to go in many respects. Weiss and I have begun repairing our relationship but I feel like there’s much more work to be done, especially after seeing the way she puts a mask on when Penny’s around. It hurts, knowing that my past transgressions will likely forever haunt me, but I can do little to change the past. Recent months have been better- Weiss has taken rather well to being called ‘Aunt’ and I think she’s just as ecstatic as I am regarding Penny’s development. She’s improved by leaps and bounds in several areas, such as conversation and picking up on social cues. How she survived for so long cut off from civilization is a mystery we may never be able to solve but I’m glad she has a home now. It’s given me a clear goal to focus on and has made the transition smoother.

Of course, trying to forge this new family dynamic isn’t the only source of... mixed results in my life post separation. Sometimes, I feel far too young to be raising a nineteen year old while simultaneously being too old to date casually. At twenty six, I realize I should probably be looking for a long term partner; the chance to ‘party’ and ‘sow my oats’ never interested me, so I let it pass me by. Unfortunately, this has left me rather... unprepared for finding long term companionship.

Upon reflection, perhaps the fact I’m calling it ‘long term companionship’ is a sign I might be... skirting the issue.

I want a girlfriend. There. That’s as direct as I can be.

I sound like a child.

It never came up while I served. It would be impractical to maintain a long term commitment with someone I’d hardly see. Dating within the ranks never worked out well for anyone- with the few exceptions, but even they had their tribulations to overcome. Any dates I went on prior to my tenure were borne of social obligation and nothing I, personally, wanted to do.

So the question becomes... where do I begin?

I’m tempted to default to what I know- it’s a goal to strive towards, which means it fits the definition of a mission, and I know how to accomplish those- but Yang’s encouraged me to step away from that mindset. The advice is sound but actually applying it... I’m not so sure.

Yang’s probably the only reason I’m entertaining any of this, truly. A friend of Weiss’ from university- we met earlier this year and she’s... been on my mind more and more as time wears on, truth be told. Lurking behind a brash personality is a very tender soul and I find myself drawn to how effortlessly she pours compliments and support to those she cares about, how quick she is to help even strangers, and how she’s a constant source of joy- even of the exasperated sort, though I can tell Weiss is more fond of her antics than she lets on- but I also see something beneath that. She acts unafraid yet there is fear; she acts strong enough to take on the world yet there is weakness; she puts on a mask but it’s for the benefit of others and not to protect herself. She gives gifts freely- she gives so much freely. It’s something I greatly admire.

Weiss has tried encouraging me recently to... get to know Yang better by inviting her to the upcoming gala. While the idea itself sounds amusing I’d hate to burden Yang with the dull pageantry of ‘high society’- a clever way of describing those with their heads buried up their ass.

Penny, if by some chance you find this, never repeat that last word. Never repeat any of this, in fact, and come find me right away. You know you aren’t supposed to go through my desk.

At any rate, Yang agreed to go, for no better reason than to show off her beautiful gown, and I must say, I never put much stock in fictional descriptions of love interests before. The way authors like to wax poetic about a prospective match for the protagonist- I found them laughable.

But I would be lying if I said I didn’t lose my breath when I saw her.

I find myself at a loss. Yang seems like the sort of person to have her choice of partner; all she has to do is look. Yet, she’s single, so there must be a reason. I’m not sure if I’m considered a close enough friend to inquire but she seemed rather insistent about not having a girlfriend or a boyfriend during the... barb EQ? I’m admittedly unsure how that’s spelled but whatever that gathering was... it brought to light a few things about Yang that make me at once more sure I would rather like getting to know her in a romantic sense and even more hesitant. She speaks of traveling to find her mother but I have a duty to stay here and help Penny through school; Ruby’s been a blessing in many ways and it’s good to see Penny with a friend her own age but, still. I think it would be good for Yang to get that closure but I’d be worried about her going alone.

I’m getting ahead of myself. I probably shouldn’t be acting as if a relationship is even viable without talking to Yang first, and doing that presents a number of issues itself.

My wrist is beginning to cramp and I’ve come no closer to figuring out where I stand. I like Yang and I enjoy her company but I’m not sure if things between us will or even can develop nor how to go about nudging them along.

I am, still, at an impasse.

June 30, 2017

I guess part of the appeal when it comes to blogging is the anonymity inherent in the design. Yet, it’s a double edged blade, because it wouldn’t take someone who knows me exceptionally well to put two and two together. Still, enough of you lovely readers seem invested in the real life soap opera that my personal life is turning into to warrant an explanation for my sporadic shouts into the void, so... here it is. More under the cut.

I mentioned how I’ve been getting closer to Princess these last few months. If you’re just tuning in to the drama, she’s the one I mentioned in my author’s note for Ninjas of Love: My Katana and how we’d... well, not started off great, but had significantly improved our relationship by the time I graduated. An enemies to friends sort of arrangement. Recently, it’s become... more than that. I knew she had her hang-ups and her issues- don’t we all?- but now it’s almost like she’s a completely different person- or rather, she’s finally the person she’s always wanted to be. She’s not being held back by outdated ideals and terrible misunderstandings of the world...

... but she’s a meddler.

You think I’m kidding but I’m not; she meddles. Her heart’s in the right place but there’s only so much that can be done about some things. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t force the horse to drink, as the saying goes, but she possesses the sort of will to make me sincerely doubt that age old wisdom.

Anyway, the whole issue is with Princess’ sister- hmmm, I’ll call her... Ice, I guess- and Dragon, my roommate from college. (Actually, we’re switching pseudonyms. Dragon is Fire now, for thematic appropriateness.) Princess is convinced that Ice and Fire would make a cute couple and, honestly, I agree. They’ve got the sort of dynamic that compliments the other’s faults really well- one’s an ex-military hardass trying to be less of a bitch and the other’s a grown-up-too-fast mom friend with a mischievous side who won’t let others take care of her- and they’ve got that aesthetic appeal, too. One’s tall and lean muscle, subtle and stern, while the other’s shorter and built like a tank, all vibrant smiles. So, yes, I admit, this is one of those times when Fire and Ice go rather well together.

However. There are limits in what I’m willing to do for friends.

It started at Princess’ birthday when these two dolts- her terminology, though I can’t fault its application in this particular situation- met and hit it off, apparently. I was... distracted at the time, a bit too anxious about whether or not she’d like my gift (she did) but she noticed. Ever since, it’s nearly all she can talk about.

Which... okay, I get it. Princess and Ice might be sisters, but they had a pretty rocky relationship growing up. It’s not my place to unpack someone else’s baggage, but we’ve talked about it before. I know they’re trying to make amends and be better going forward, and they’re doing a pretty good job on most fronts. Princess just wants to see her sister happy.

But it feels like, recently... she’s kinda oblivious to everything else around her because of it? She gets that way sometimes- so focused on a certain task that the rest of the world falls away and I... absolutely love it. I really didn’t realize it until last month, but being the one she talks to about the whole thing... if she wasn’t so utterly oblivious when she gets like this, I’m pretty sure she would’ve caught me staring at her like a lovestruck fool. Which, while it sounds great in fiction and is something I tend to use... real life isn’t as forgiving. There’s no summary and “angst with a happy ending” tagged on it; it’s a gamble. Considering we’ve just reached a point where we’re on pretty good terms, I’m hesitant to put that in jeopardy already for the sake of sating my curiosity.

I thought maybe creating a little distance would help. It would suck but it might help me figure out if I’m just seeing things; a few attractive traits don’t necessarily make for a good relationship.

Of course, that didn’t... quite pan out like I’d hoped. I mean, I can’t cut contact entirely- both because it’s completely uncalled for and because I don’t want to- so we’ve still talked and seen each other since. I went to a barbecue where Princess tried yet again to get Ice and Fire on the same page- failed in that respect but, on the upside, I now know who to never trust around holidays with small children- and she’s... just something else. She shouldn’t look so pretty in summer- she’s more of a colder seasons person if ever there was one- but she wore a tank top that showed off her collarbone and shoulders and I might be much thirstier than I previously thought because I’m definitely blushing just thinking about it.

And it’s not like I haven’t tried hinting at us getting together. I tried giving her a bouquet of flowers (something she told me she would take as a romantic gesture!) and all I got was confusion in response. Not... negative, entirely, though I didn’t stick around to find out too much how that reaction went, but it wasn’t met with a smile and a kiss and a ‘yes, I’d love to go out with you’, so not exactly encouraging.

But somehow (and I swear, I’m still trying to connect the dots on how) I’m going to be her date for a party. Not “date” as in “person I am actively seeing”, though, more like “accomplice” because I’m pretty sure she only invited me to help her spy on Ice and Fire, who will also be going.

I just... I want to support her. She’s been there for me in ways I never would’ve expected. I feel like we’ve grown- both as people and closer to each other- since those... well, admittedly terrible first impressions we had of each other. And while I want to know how things can continue to develop, I worry about losing such a good friend.

On top of that, I’m dealing with Fire talking my ear off about Ice. They might be sisters but Ice and Princess are two very different women, yet they share just enough in common that listening to Fire gush... I keep wanting to agree or disagree, but I’m keeping my mouth shut for now, and it hurts not to talk to my best friend about this, but she’s... well. She’s over the moon for Ice- she tries to play it off like it’s just a crush, but it’s clearly not- and I don’t want to detract from that. Fire’s the sort that, if I told her I have a crush, too, she’ll completely drop everything to help me get together with Princess. I love her like a sister, but sometimes it’s hard to get her to focus on her own problems instead of everyone else’s.

So, yeah, I’m kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place, and while that’s a situation I’ve written as being rather nice in certain circumstances, living it is hell and I want off this ride, pronto.

I’m probably going to be sporadic the next few weeks until this party. I don’t know why but something in my brain keeps saying ‘learn to dance! Fancy dance! Then ask her to dance!’ and it’s not being cooperative on why that’s an obviously dumb idea.

On the upside, Fire (somehow???) knows ballroom dancing, so we’re going to practice. Maybe one of us can get a happy ending in this mess.

[blue-collects-things]

The Losers Go To Prom

Warnings: swearing, light mentions of sexism and homophobia

Requested: No

Author’s Note: Guess who has two thumbs, saw IT, and almost shat herself at an alarming velocity?? (If you guessed me, you are correct.) Of course, as a result, I was scrolling through the losers club tag on this hell site and stumbled upon this post, so give @awkward-imp​ credit for the their idea. And because I hate Stephen King’s canon, nobody has left/died/forgotten. Anywho, here are some losers take prom hcs! (Edit: this got really, really, really long {I’m not fucking kidding}, so i’m going to put an under the cut. You have been warned.)

through the rest of their middle school years and into their high school ones, the losers club remains, well, losers for the most part

however, they’re all known as bill denbrough’s friends because that boy is so popular from all the sports and clubs he does

but in their senior year, mike convinces them to go to prom despite their popularity issues

part of it could be that mike is on student council and he’s looking for some free labor in set up/clean up but mostly he wants his friends to have a good time

so in the three months leading up to the end of the school year and prom, we see our losers stressing about college, finals, and of course who they’re going to ask to prom

richie, being the little shit he is, asks every single one of the losers, plus some others and everyone knows its a joke and never takes him seriously

richie, down on one knee with a dandelion in his hand: bev, oh sweet bev, will you be my date to prom?

bev, not looking up from her book: that’s a weed, you idiot

richie, using his southern Voice: that stings, ma’am, truly it does mah de-ur. stanny boy, how bout you?

stan: in your dreams, tozier

ben wants desperately to ask bev, but he has this sinking feeling that she’ll say no in favor for someone like bill

he says as much to eddie and he laughs

like full on guffawing in the middle of study hall

ben’s like wtf? what am i missing?

and eddie says, “bill has the biggest, gayest crush i’ve ever seen on our buddy stan uris, pal”

it takes a minute for ben to process this (even though eddie used blunt wording for this express purpose) and then he laughs too

“gayer than your crush on trashmouth, eds?”

“shut up” but eddie is redder than tomatoes

so ben asks bev one day after calculus and even though he’s stuttering more than bill on a bad day, bev thinks it’s sweet and endearing

she gives him a kiss on the cheek to cut off his rambling and says yes with a smile before walking to psychology

ben, shellshocked and eyes wide as saucers, immediately pumps his fist in success the second bev turns the corner

his mom is the first to know

bev is also very happy and excited that ben asked her and she calls her own mother the first moment her father leaves their apartment

speaking of good ol’ big bill, he’s so nervous to ask stan

like, more nervous than he was when he had to debate in government

he’s super worried that because stan is jewish, he’ll be disgusted with bill and then stan won’t want to be his friend, and it’ll all go to shit

he actually goes to bev for advice because he feels most comfortable asking her about... feelings stuff than any of the other boys

she tells him that he’s a dumbass if he thinks stan will a) say no and b) stop being his friend

“i mean, have you seen the way he looks at you during lunch and chem and history and-”

“oh-k-k-hay, b-b-bev, i get ih-it”

bill is still very wary about asking

bev: *sigh*

stan, ironically, has also gone to bev for “feelings advice”

bev, under her breath: “i should start charging for my services”

stan: what?

bev: nothing, continue

stan doesn’t want to do the asking, but wants more than anything to go to prom with bill, even if it means making his father upset

bev encourages him to ask bill (bc she know that bill won’t do a damn thing unless he is 100% certain that stan likes him back)

he makes a sign (precious boy) because he can’t even comprehend saying the words aloud and drives to bill’s house when he knows both his parents and bill’s will be at work

stan takes mike with him

“just in case things go wrong” he tells mike when asking him to be his get-away driver

mike is flabbergasted because even he and haystack, the most oblivious of the group, can see that bill is totally in love with stan

when mike pulls up to the denbroughs’ house, stan looks visibly ill

he fidgets with his yarmulke, the sign, makes sure he look good before mike literally leans across his lap, opens the door, and kicks stan out of his own car, locking the door behind him

stan knocks three times on the front door before stepping back and holding the sign reading simply “prom?” in big blue letters and waits

there’s a brief moment of fear that stan tries his hardest to brush off

he reminds himself all he needs are 20 seconds of insane courage (A/N: anyone get my reference?) to pull this off

his confidence trickles away slowly as the seconds tick by without the door opening

his thoughts go i mile a minute

is he still at swim practice? no, that’s wednesday. and speech therapy is saturday. his car is in the driveway. is he- is he ignoring me?

(what stan doesn't know is that bill saw stan’s car pull up through the window and the whole ordeal, read the sign, and felt panic set in his stomach: my hair is still wet from the shower! gotta change. clean shirt? brush hair. oh god oh god oh my god oh my god ohmygod ohmyfuckinggod)

stan is about to leave until bill pulls the door open, clearly frazzled

even though he already saw the sign, bill scans the one word again carefully to make sure it’s not another illusion to trick his brain

stan    can’t        breathe

20 seconds of insane courage, stan thinks 

“bill?” he meets stan’s eyes “prom?”

bill is nodding before he can comprehend what’s going on

“yes, stanley, yes, yes, a thousand times yes”

he didn’t stutter once

he meets stan halfway in a blindingly tight hug, not stopping his talking all the while

“i was g-g-going to ask y-hoo. b-b-bev told me i-hi should. i honestly-ee can’t be-lee-ieve this. s-s-stan, are you re-al? this isn’t some tr- hmmmph!”

(stan finds another 20 seconds of courage to kiss bill quiet)

“i’ll see you tomorrow, bill” stan says agents bill’s lips before smiling  and forcing himself off the porch before he squeals with happiness and embarrasses himself

bill walks back inside with his sign to hide it in the back of closet where his parents will never look

he absently touches his lips for the rest of the evening

this is the happiest he’s been since... georgie

mike is smiling smugly in the car when stan returns

“good job, stan” is all he says, though

“thanks, mikey”

mike loves the happy smile that stan can’t seem to wipe off his face

richie wants to ask eddie and he does

several times

but eddie thinks it’s joke

“cut it out, rich. the first two times were funny, not it’s just getting old”

it stings, sure, but richie figures this is his punishment for never being serious

but he’s never been more serious about anything in his life

the only person that knows is bev (go figure) and she says the same thing she said to stan and bill: suck it up and go fucking ask him, you big baby

so he does

it’s like every other time he’s asked eddie: walking home from school

“eddie, will you go to prom with me?” he doesn’t use a Voice, he’s just richie, which is sometimes harder than the accents and impressions he does

eddie must hear this and looks up from his keds to see that richie has his eyes glued to the ground

“richie, are you still joking with me?”

richie suddenly meets eddie’s eyes and places both his hands on either side of eddie’s face

they’ve stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, two teenagers looking at each other, but they don’t care

“not with you, eds. never.”

eddie looks at richie’s eyes, still strange without his glasses even though he’s been wearing contacts for nearly three years, and sees the honesty in his baby blues

“yes, richie, i’ll go with you” eddie says and smiles lopsidedly at his grinning best friend

they hold hands the rest of the way home

mike honestly can’t find someone to go with

there’s his lab partner, linda, but she seems to be the snooty type

one day, about two months before prom, ben points out a girl staring at him from across the cafeteria

her name is june and she’s in the asian student union (founder and president) and the treasurer of student council

she’s really sweet and mike asks her on a couple of dates over the next two weeks

he asks her on the fourth date to be his prom date and of course she says yes

bev is stoked to have another girl in their group

“i still love you guys, though, so don’t worry. you’re my boys.”

richie gives her an only semi-joking hug, “thanks, bevvie. you really scared me for a minute”

(because even though he’ll never say it, he loves her a lot)

ben and richie’s mothers offer to help tailor suits and a dress for bev

bev is clueless in that department

her mother got smart and left her father but couldn’t win the custody battle because she didn’t have a steady income and, y’know, sexism in the 60s

so she doesn’t know a damn thing about makeup or hair or fancy dresses

and mrs. hanscom always wanted someone to pass her knowledge onto, so she offers to help bev and june get ready

the rest of the time passes quickly with final exams and preparing for graduation until finally the day of prom arrives

mike has succeeded in persuading the losers to help him set up the gym that friday after school and it looks amazing

the gym is swathed in blue and green tulle and streamers with a camera in the corner and glitter curtains hanging on the stage where the band will play

the losers split to the hanscoms’ place and the toziers’ house to get ready

bill, mike, stan, and richie at the toziers

ben, bev, eddie, and june at the hansoms

when ben asks his mother for help tying his tie, she literally says to him “ask eddie, i gotta go help your date” and leaves

bev is a nervous wreck and she doesn't know why

she keeps thinking it’s just ben but really is it?

recently, she’s been feeling more anxious around ben and can’t figure it our for the life of her

june has to spell it out for her: “you like him!” and bev guesses she does

the whole time they get ready, bev can’t stop thinking about how good ben will look in his suit. even if he hadn’t slimmed down and shot up another seven inches, he would’ve looked good.

when ben sees bev in her dress, he nearly passes out and eddie has to keep him upright, a particularly hard job considering that eddie is the same hight as bev: seven inches too short

ben delicately places the corsage on her wrist and she pins the boutonniere to his jacket

eddie and june smile at each other watching this interaction

meanwhile at the toziers’, stan and mike are getting ready in the living room and bill and richie are getting ready his room

bill, sitting on the edge of richie’s bed: i th-th-think i’m go-hunna p-puke

richie: not on the tux, mrs. hanscom will have my head on a plate

bill: i’m s-s-eri-ous, r-r-rich

richie, kneeling in front of bill: listen to me, billy boy, stan is waiting out there for you and you and him are going to be just fine. he got up the courage to ask you, now be a man and give him a great night.

bill: wow, eh-eddie must be r-r-rubbing oh-ff on y-you

richie, winking: you got that right

stan is fidgety in the living room waiting for bill to come down the stairs, literally wearing a hole in the floor where he’s pacing

mike: stop it, you’re giving me anxiety just looking at you

finally, richie comes down the stairs looking very dapper and at least attempting to tame his unruly hair

“let me, dear friends and neighbors, introduce the one and only bill denbrough”

and bill descends the stairs in his white suit and if angels are real, stan figures this is what they look like

when bill lays eyes on stan, he stops coming down the stairs

stan had slicked back his hair which had gotten a little longer and his hazel eyes shone with anticipation

neither can speak, but mike and richie are smiling and elbowing each other

bill finally clears his throat

“you l-look am-az-zing, st-st-stan”

stan    can’t        breathe                   (again)

“you look great too, bill”

they pin their boutonnieres to each other just as the limo pulls up

all the losers pitched in money they had gotten from working odd jobs (the diner, the drive-in theater, babysitting, tutoring, lawn mowing) to rent a limo for the evening

the four at the toziers’ pile in and head to ben’s house

richie has gotten exceptionally nervous in the ten minutes it has taken to drive to haystack’s

bill is really concerned cause he’s never seen richie so quiet

“ta-ake y-your own ad-ad-advie, trashmouth, and m-man the fu-uck u-up”

“shut the hell up, bill” but he’s smiling so bill is happy

when they get to the hanscoms’, mike and richie get out to pick up their dates

june runs out first and leaps into mike’s arms and he spins her around and plants a kiss on her cheek before sliding a corsage on her wrist

ben and bev step out next, each complementing richie and giving him a hug

lastly, eddie steps out, and richie is totally gone

“wow, eds, i- you- um”

eddie laughs “you too, rich”

eddie offers richie his hand and they walk together back to the limo

(A/N: psst, this is what they look like- ben // stan // richie // bill // mike // eddie // bev // june // god bless pinterest) 

the limo ride there is... hectic, to say the least

everyone is singing, even stan who almost never sings

bev and june are cracking jokes that make the boys laugh

it’s a really good feeling

and suddenly they’re there and handing over their tickets

they all go to the camera first while they still look nice

all of the couples go first, bill and stan and richie and eddie getting a strange look from the photographer but they ignore the obvious disgust in his eyes because they’re already having the best night of their lives

then all eight of them together. there’s three of these pictures: one where nobody is looking and smiling at each other, one where they’re all making funny faces, and the last one that actually looks nice

they all are enjoying themselves and dancing and singing and laughing and smiling

until the first slow song starts

as “can’t help falling in love” starts, couples begin to pair off

mike and june sway and smile and talk to each other softly as they dance

stan apprehensively places his arms around bill’s neck, extremely concerned for the stares they’ll likely be getting, but now it’s bill’s turn for 20 seconds of courage because he puts his hands on stan’s waist and pulls him flush against his body

stan smiles and places his forehead on bill’s and bill smiles back. they kinda just look at each other fondly for the whole dance

bev lets ben lead her away from the group and bev looks up at ben staring down at her and decides that if she has to have a staring contest with him during this dance, she’ll lose it

so she places her head on ben’s chest and listens to his heart beat and it’s so sporadic that she thinks surely ben will have a heart attack but he squeezes the hand that bev put in his lightly and she smiles against his dress shirt

richie pulls eddie toward him by the hand and delicately places a hand on his waist, being more careful than eddie thought capable

eddie reaches up (and it is quite the reach) and tangles his fingers in the hairs at the nape of richie’s neck

they avoid eye-contact

about half-way through the song, richie begins to sing softly “but i can’t help falling in love with you” and looks at eddie so piercingly that eddie gasps

they kiss and neither of them knows who initiated it, only that it’s sweet and slow and amazing

the rest of the evening goes by in a blur

bill, eddie, and mike ditch their suit jackets and roll up their sleeves

richie’s bowtie hangs loosely around his neck, untied

june removes her gloves and bev takes off her high heels

then the crowning of prom king and queen happens

it’s no surprise that bill wins prom king, because he is so well liked and even some of the teachers voted for him

but everyone is blown away when bev wins prom queen

they dance the dance and laugh at each other the whole time

(stan may or may not be a little jealous but all that goes away when they return from the dance and bill places his arm around stan’s shoulders and plants a kiss on his cheek)

after the dance ends, everyone is sweaty, their feet hurt, and they no longer have voices

they all decide the best thing to do is to go to the diner that’s open until 1am on the other side of town in their limo

they all cram into one booth

eddie holds richie’s hand under the table and absently strokes the scar on his palm

richie is so taken aback that he can’t speak

everyone’s like “trashmouth is so quiet, what’s up?” and eddie only smirks

they all order milkshakes and three orders of the big basket of french fries

that poor waitress who’s there for them

suddenly richie finds his voice and starts telling stories his Voices that are getting significantly better

when it’s closing time, the owner kicks them out, but smiles at their loud laughter on the way out

they all drive to eddie’s house, pay the limousine driver and crowd in the living room to watch movies until they all fall asleep

richie’s head is in eddie’s lap

eddie is leaned against bill’s legs hanging off the couch

bill is laying his head on stan

stan is curled up on the couch, his feet touching bev’s

bev’s hand is dangling and holding ben’s

ben is asleep with his legs crossed over mike’s

mike has his arms around june

june has her head on richie’s legs

they’re all still in their evening wear

mrs. kaspbrak finds them like this in the morning and, even though she doesn’t like the no-good friends eddie has made, can’t help but take a picture of how cute they all are

~ ~ ~

Hope you enjoyed this! I had a lot of fun writing this and if you’re reading this, thanks for trooping through this! Don’t forget to like, reblog, and comment. Got a request? Submit one here. See my masterlist here.

[mysmeshc]

RFA Reacts to MC Who is Really Oblivious and Innocent

wohoho boi i’m rdy Yoosung - I wouldn’t say Yoosung is so much innocent as he is bashful, so he knows things (wink wonk ;* ) but he gets embarrassed easily. - yOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE NO REACTION BC U DONT KNOW WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT. - “Hey sweetie, I’m cold, do you think you could-” - “Get you a sweater? Ofc baby!!!” - Yoosung attempt at cuddles #73 resulted in failure - again - this guy just needs affection - it takes him a while but he learns to be a bit more blunt. - “MC can we cuddle-” BOOM. MC. Right there. Hugs everywhere. Cute kissies. mwa mwa mwa. - You begin to understand Yoosung’s body language for when he wants something. - Looks at you and opens arms? Hugs - Looks at you and pours his lips out a bit? Kissiesss - His grip on ur waist tighten? oh boy it might be naughty time ;)) - But he’s sure to vocalize, and you love how flustered he gets. Zen - oh no - ur too cute and sweet and you pick up on nONE OF HIS FLIRTING. - “Hey MC, If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.” oh ya that’ll charm her for sure- - “You know if you think about it the alphabet is in a random order, but we decided that’s alphabetical. Like, who decided that? The Greeks? Speaking of Greek did you know in Greek Mythology-” mC NO - be patient Zen try again - “Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you ;)” it’s too straightforward she has to get this- - “Ugh do NOT get me started on how corrupt the Justice System is. Instead of learning from our mistakes through education we just PAY to get out of punishments?? It’s rediculous-” NO MC YOURE GOING TO KILL HIM. - Finally he’s blunt with you. - “MC I think you’re very cute and I like you a lot will u plz d8 me.” - “I like you too!! Not gonna lie I really didn’t think you liked me back so I’m glad you finally said something.” - MC ohoHOHO MY GOD - ur first date is at his funeral bc u killed him. Jaehee - Baehee doesn’t even know she’s Gayhee until you show up. - So she’s just as innocent, but not as oblivious. - You’ve been working together for two years at the coffee shops and you two always get told you’re a cute couple - “Oh no, we’re just best friends!” - :* so um - The entire RFA was under the impression you were dating. - One day in the chat Jumin asked you were we’re coming up on your two year anniversary. - “of what? opening the shop? that was a couple months ago jumin u were literally there when we celebrated.” - “No of your relationship.” - ur what - “Well I mean i didn’t know you had anniversaries for friendships but i think it’s cute! what should i get her?” - wHAT MC - YOU GUYS ARENT DATING - “everything i know is a lie” Seven piped in - “Jaehee isn’t gay!” MC YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN SO WRONG - “MC ur stupid jaehee is the gayest out of all of us, and since i’m the one saying that it means something.” - Okay Seven - finally jaehee had had enough - “MC, would you like to go out tonight-” - “Of course!” - “-on a date?” - “… I’d love that.” Jumin - King of Straightforward - that’s can be both good and bad - But even with how straightforward he is, you still miss his cues. - “MC, you look beautiful.” - “I can’t wait to see you.” - “You’re so talented.” - “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.” - and everything gets the same response. - “Awe, thank you Jumin! You’re such a great friend!” - *sirens sound* - “Excuse me officer i would like to report a fucking murder.” - Seven no now is not the time - Zen was laughing his ass off - “Yeah jumin you are a good FRIEND to MC” - Jumin is slumped in the corner - Defeated - Given up on love - that is until you and Jaehee are talking over the phone about this mysterious guy you’ve fallen for (hehehehehe) - “He’s wonderful and kind and always says the nicest things to me!… But I don’t think he sees me like that.” - “Why not MC?” - “He doesn’t show any interest in being something other than friends.” - “I’m sorry MC” - “It’s okay, it’s not my fault Jumin doesn’t like me-” - “ MC W H A T !!” - “Shoot, Jaehee, I didn’t mean to say it, I just-” - “I GOTTA GO!” - so jaehee sprints into Jumins office, where jumin all like “>:0 u know there’s this thing called knocking-” - “Assistant Kang this is completely unprofessional-” - “MC likes you too!” - Jumin? more like ZOOMin bc he HOPPED his GOD DAMN DESK AND SPRINTED OUTTA THERE - at ur apartment in .6 seconds flat - Broke the sound barrier - you open the door to see ur big ole crush just standing there, panting, nearly doubled over - “Jumin oh my god what’s wrong-” - “You like me.” - “Of course I do you’re my friend-” - CUT OFF WITH A KISS - he pulled away, hands on your shoulders - “You LIKE me.” - i mean ye maybe - “U-Uh… Ya.” - that’s when you saw the most beautiful sight. - Jumin Han laughing. Like, REALLY laughing. - It was so deep and beautiful and genuine. - Once he finished he looked back down at you, smiling, tears from laughing so hard in his eyes. - “Would you like to go to Dinner?” - “YES!! I-I mean, uh, Yeah, sure, sounds cool.” Seven - EVERYONE EXCEPT YOU TWO KNEW THAT YOU LIKED EACHOTHER - “Seven just ask her out-” - “No! I’m too dangerous.” - “MC go talk to him!” - “No he keeps pushing me away!” - OH MY GOD JUST LOVE EACH OTHER ALREADY!!! - LIKE - SERIOUSLY - WAT R U DOING - U BOTH ARE STUPID - “I wish MC/Seven liked me back…” - The RFA has had it - You get a text from Zen to meet the RFA at your favorite restaurant. - You see Seven once you arrive, but no one else. - You two talk but it grows awkward - bc u two like each other - but ur stoopid - “Seven and MC, correct?” A voice called out from behind you. You both nodded. - “Right this way.” - You wee lead to a table with only… 2 seats - “Hey what about-” - “I regret to inform you that the rest of the RFA will not be joining, but they (jumin) have already paid for your dinner so, please, enjoy.” - o k a y - Seven looks at you, trying to gauge your response, but you just smiled and sat down. - You two talk for 2 billion hours - at least it feels like that - Seven gets a random text from Zen - “Soooo, how are things going ;)” - He ignored it, choosing to give you his attention instead. - “-like you” were the words he managed to pick out before he froze. - “Wait, you like me?” - “What?” - “Because I like you!” - “You like me? - “I mean-” - you grabbed his hand. - “Because I like you too.” - Seven looked down then back up at you. - “Wow, you have a crush on me? that’s so embarrassing…” - Cue you throwing ur spoon at him

[slothful-rabbit]

I know man! I see Crowley and Aziraphale from Good Omens and I’m just,

Me: Oh my god they’re so gay for each other, how do the authors expect us to believe they’re “only” best friends??? This is the gayest I’ve seen any characters for each other in a while and they are just so adorable together and you expect me to believe they’re “best friends”!? The only possible rebuttal I can think of is that they’re two dense and oblivious idiots who dance around each other for like six thousand fucking years and don’t even realize how gay they are for each other cause they’re idiots. That and considering it took Crowley a couple of thousand years to actually admit he and Aziraphale were friends.

My brother who is wide-eyed and regretting all his life choices: Dude

you know, it’s really important to have strong friendships represented in media, but that won’t stop my gay hopeless romantic ass from turning everything into a friends-to-lovers trope

[aprettystrangeblog]

So for those fine folk who don’t know, during his concert Brendon Urie walks down the middle of an aisle in the crowd and says hi and interacts with people during a specific song on his setlist. Now I’m sitting by AN aisle in the crowd, obliviously forgetting that this even occurs during his show, and I have no idea that its THE aisle I’m sitting atop of.

So I hear Death of a Bachelor start up and uhhhh, Brendon’s voice is a couple of yards away from me, walkin down the aisle, and I fucking LAUNCH over the empty row of seats in front of me to go join the others standing on the edge of the aisle all holding out their hands and I have no clue what to do with my body so I like, slouch atop the aisle barrier in the gayest way possible and my mind goes totally blank except for “huh duh mph? Stick out hand” so I smile like a doofus and then two seconds later Brendon comes by, smiles at me, and takes my hand and for the love of whatever god you pray to I could not find any suitable words to make my mouth say. Not even I love you, or thank you, you helped save my life, nope, nada. Brendon’s one of those people I really look up to, and I’ve drilled it into my head that if I ever got the chance I’d say something genuine, thankful, or like, yknow, mildly profound. But nah my throat is uh, closed. So instead I wrap my fingers around his and just give them a squeeze, trying to fit everything I couldn’t say into that gesture.

Sounds great except my hand was shaking like a leaf and sweating and his was too so my immediate thought was, oh fuck my hands ARE CLAMMY AND GROSS as I pulled away with the Gayest Fucking Smile on my face regretting that I was not instantly vaporized on the very spot as I curl my fingers up and do that fucking gay ass movie shit where I hold my hand to my chest like the supreme queer I am

And then I curled up on the aisle barrier for the next minute not even registering the rest of the song because. Clammy hand. And the burning realization that I am the textbook definition of a touch starved gay.

It was good though, man.

hey you guys wanna hear the story of me being a Gay Disaster in front of Brendon Urie Himself