#gay ppl save the world

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[miiiwu]

.

[alistair-stan]

Clearly my stamina for video games has waned DRAMATICALLY bc ive barely managed to clock 2 hours of inquisition across 2 days.

And its not like im fatigued by the gameplay or anything yet like i just got the fucking title screen lol. Like this is not a hinterlands bear moment or a fallow mire situation yet

[mobblespsycho100]

QPR hackforger supremacy btw !!!

[hydrasaura]

Damn i saw the new leona skin 😭 legit nobody i showed it to could tell it's her.

[inkskinned]

which is fine, because love is love, and you're getting gay-married, so it would be kind of ironic if love was only sometimes love.

except The King Of Demons (his is Edmund) is always late, to everything, always. which is fair, because time doesn't work in hell, and it's not like he can just catch a bus. except that you specifically asked him not to do this, didn't you, because he's always doing things like this.

He splays out his hands, the light catching on long, ivory claw tips. god, doesn't he know not to wear white to a wedding?

so many people are screaming right now.

it's not that he's the golden child. you guys had normal parents, middle-class. your mom was kind of an "almond mom," according to your fiancée, who pursed their lips when they found out about how your mom used to wrinkle her nose any time you asked for an extra snack in your lunchbox.

you close your eyes for a moment. think of your beautiful almost-spouse. ashe. their name like a bloom inside you. how the dress looks on ashe's body, their shy little smile. how they'd walked down the aisle, and you'd both been half-laughing, half-crying. your hands had trembled when you saw them. like the whole world was pouring down your throat, golden. like you were catching a moment and casting it in amber.

ashe'd been the one to help you when your parents were pushing for you to invite edmund. god, the amount of fights you'd gotten in with your parents - the same six sentiments, over and over again.

you'd been sitting on your bed, biting your lip, your fingers hovering over the little button send. ashe'd nuzzled your neck. you used to be close, and i think that's important. but you know your relationship to him the most. i'm willing to make the effort, and i love you no matter what you choose, they'd said. we don't have to if you don't want to, though, no matter what your parents say about him.

you'd thrown yourself down, supine, arm over the eyes. he's just... we are just.... you tried to phrase that-which-is-love-and-rage.

you're the normal twin. your "big thing" was only "being a lesbian." in high school, edmund started being able to make birds die by looking at them. you came home, trying to tell your parents i kissed a girl. i think i'm - and they just kind of nodded at you. edmund was eating the bible in front of them, like a goat.

on the bed, you'd held your hands out vaguely to ashe. edmund is a just always a lot.

ashe had shrugged. don't invite him then. and it was that - that they were okay with either of your decisions - that is why he even got an invite, in the end.

and now here he is, like how you wanted (?), and your hands are red, clenched hard around your bouquet. the officiant is crying. some people are on their knees, praying. some are trying to touch your brother, like he could impart a blessing.

"i made it!" he's triumphant. "i know i'm late, i'm sorry, there was - do you know anything about right-wing politicians?"

"i'm going to fucking kill him," you say, although you're not actually sure who you're talking to, or if he can be killed.

ashe is blinking, their face in a tiny oh of surprise. you take their hand, drop their hand, take their hand again. they blink at your brother. their voice is low but steady. "there's, um. is there a dark halo around him?"

you duck your head to meet their eyes. "fuck, ashe. i'm sorry. he wasn't supposed to -"

"did i miss it?" Edmund is swinging his head around far-too-wide. his 2 sets of horns leave little red mist any time they scour through the air. "I didn't miss the kiss, right?"

the town clerk is in the audience, and she's frowning. you send her an apologetic look. she shakes her head. "as we've discussed," she manages to throw her gentle voice over the din, "the wedding isn't official if someone objects. that is the legal statute. which people tend to be understanding of." she sends a dirty look to edmund, and that makes you love her. she seems completely calm, which makes sense, because she works in the town hall, and this probably isn't even her first demon-showing-up-at-a-wedding.

he somehow hears her, holds his hands up. "i'm not objecting!" the back of the event hall catches on fire. of-fucking-course. "i'm not - don't mind me, uh, please continue." edmund sends a look to the back-of-the-room fire and it whimpers and gutters out. he flashes you a winning smile, and then puts his hand to his king's-garb chest and mouths sorry! and then cartwheels his glittering talons to say go ahead.

"i think i'm going to throw up." the officiant's voice is barely a whisper.

you watch in horror as edmund tries to awkwardly slide into a waiting line of chairs. the sound of begging follows him, people on their knees at hell's king. he pats a few of them on the head, holding up his finger in a sheepish shh! while his touch leaves a bleeding rune on their skin. his hooves click, and his footprints leave ruby-bright fireroses in his wake.

he tries to sit down, but the wooden chairs are made for people and not the lord king of demons, so he has to span his furred hindquarters over two seats. he smiles again, offers you a little wave.

the room is dead silent, minus the weeping. you look back to ashe. you ruined this. you shouldn't have invited him. you spent so much money on this event, and ashe looks so fucking handsome, and you haven't even gotten to kiss them. to make it official.

ashe looks up at you, manages a little smile. "could be worse?"

you feel yourself start to smile too, but then edmund's chairs give out, and he falls directly on the floor, and with his startled yelp, everything around him bursts into the cold whip-crease of hellflame, disintegrating everything that isn't-a-person, including the flowers and the decorations and the cake and the tables. everything you saved for months to be able to afford. the venue that you both agonized over choosing. you picked this place because it was significant to both of you and was equidistant from both your parents and had a deal with the local hotel for people coming out of town. two years of planning, literally burning down around your ears.

edmund manages to stop the fire pretty much immediately, but it's too late. the officiant faints clear away. the town clerk gives you a sympathetic look and mouths see you soon and steps neatly out of the room, taking ashe's parents with her, chatting gently. an arched flower frame collapses into dust with a loud whoomp. pretty much nobody is left in the building, and you're standing at the top of the steps, at the fucking hour of your marriage, and there is nothing left but blue-cold embers, the lights blown out in favor of the eerie hellfire glow.

you sit down, hard. after a few seconds, you feel ashe sit down next to you. you put your head between your knees so you don't puke with rage, which would be somehow more humiliating than everything else happening at the moment.

"okay, it's definitely too soon," they whisper in your ear, "but i have to admit there is something that's going to be so funny later about my name being ashe and my wedding going up in flames." they wrap their hand in yours. "i can't believe we worried about candles. we should have just gone with them instead of worrying about safety. are you okay?"

you send them a look. "am i - am i okay? this absolute bitch -" you gesture with your free hand out to where edmund is trying to piece together the cinders of his chair, "ruined my fucking wedding."

your mom is standing awkwardly in what used to be the "family" row of chairs. your father is absent, of course. she makes a noise at you. "don't call your brother a bitch."

"oh my fucking god." you have to put your head between your knees again, fighting that stupid fucking rage-puke urge. your blood pressure has obviously reached "skyrocket".

"he's here, isn't he? you're not being particularly grateful," your mother says, because of course she does.

"oh my god! ohmygod. ohmygod." you feel yourself hyperventilating, and then you start laughing, and you hate the hyena hysteria of it, the way it pitches dangerously close to a sob. "this is just - this is just like you! this is the fucking - you blow out the candles on the birthday cake! you curse the kids i'm trying to babysit! you get straight-A's on every test without studying, and get all the friends, and everyone is obsessed with you! and then when i graduate from art school, do i fucking get a party? nope! but hey, let's throw edmund a party for his 300,000th tortured soul! and his 300,001st! and fucking everything else. and fuck me, i guess! edmund gets hurt on the playground, let's burn down the playground. i got fucking bullied, and our parents don't even notice. i am fucking struggling, but we need to pay attention to edmund. he gets fucking everything. while we're at it, why don't we let him fucking ruin my wedding!"

you are dimly aware of ashe wrapping one arm around you and then the other, and then you are sobbing into their shoulder.

"oh, come on. stop with the hysterics," your mother chides you. "you had a perfectly fine childhood. all kids fight. you should have gotten the ceremony done faster. and you know i didn't approve of you spending all this money when you have student loans to -"

"respectfully," ashe's voice is cold and cutting while they rub circles on your shaking back, "and i know you're about to be my mother-in-law, but -" you hear them force a smile, "maybe you could choose this moment to leave your daughter the fuck alone?"

you are so fucking in love with ashe at that moment that it stops your weeping like you got hit by a truck. you look up at them, and want to go back to crying, just overwhelmed by the sheer fucking amount you care about them, but then you look over at your mother, and her shocked expression, and you burst out laughing.

your mother makes a few almost fish-like motions with her mouth, and then turns on her heel, stomping over cinders on her way out. and then it is just you and ashe and edmund and how you are half-crying half-laughing quietly to yourself, like a tap that won't stop dripping.

edmund has put the chair down. he is staring at his hands. he is at least 500 pounds and over 7 feet tall (he doesn't use metric, he's the devil). and somehow, right now, he just looks... small. crestfallen.

"yeah, i mean." his voice cracks. there's no boom of thunder or hellhound echo. he sounds like he did as a kid, before the strange powers and the levitating and the souls of the damned. he sounds like he did the night he accidentally melted most of the pieces in your first glass art show. he sounds - like your brother. he puts the heel of his palm against his eye. "i ruined my sister's wedding."

ashe offers him a little half-grin. "i do just want to say i love the aesthetic, by the way. but you did very much ruin my wedding too."

he points at them, finger-guns. "....ruined their wedding too." something in the attempt at humor - how his voice breaks on the words, how lonely he sounds. it makes you have to close your eyes against the sound. "....you seem cool," he says. "it's... it was nice to meet you."

you hear him come over, his hooves clacking slowly on the floor. when you open your eyes, he's sitting closer to you.

he opens his hand. inside are two little ceramic figures. wedding cake toppers. "i... i made them for you two. i figured i would try - how you make art, without magic. i... i took a class, and i made - i made them." he looks down at the little white-dressed people in his wide, calloused palm. "it's... i wanted to be ... good. i..." he looks at you, and then at ashe. "i tried, you know?"

ashe reaches up, lets him roll the figures into their palm.

he stands up. folds his hands in front of himself. "i don't. know how to be good. i know it doesn't come naturally to you, either. i saw you... choose. to be kind. you could have treated me different, too. like everybody? i was weird, and everyone knew. if you'd been ... mean? it would have been okay. but you." he shrugs. "one time you tried to kill me in the bathroom."

you don't know why you're crying. you look up at him through the cracks between your fingers. "twice," you croak. "but the second time i had a knife." you tuck your hair behind your ears. "but that was only after you pushed me down the stairs at grandma's and i broke my leg before a dance performance. you fuckin' deserved that one."

"i pushed you because you were being a wretched bitch."

"hey now," ashe says, a little edge to their voice, "that's my wife."

you squeeze their hand. "no, he's right. i had deleted his pokemon gold save file right before the elite four."

ashe drops your hand like you scalded them, showing the only horror you've seen this whole time. "you - girl, what the fuck?"

you shrug a little. "i was being a wretched bitch. and he did break my leg about it."

edmund shifts a little. "i just - you are...." his voice dies.

in your family, you don't say i love you. in your family, you don't touch each other or show affection. in your family, you just show up for each other, quietly. neither of you knows how to speak or process what needs to be said. you can see that lacking flashing over his face, literally playing out in shades of crimson. you get that weird twin-sense of something unsaid.

ashe sets the little ceramic people to the side. "she treated you like a person when everyone else treated you like a prophet."

you cut your eyes to them, and then edmund, who gives you one very short, sharp nod. "i, uh. i can. never try." he clears his throat. "i can never try hard enough. for that. i can - what you gave me. by. doing that. by ... just. i made. one thousand. wedding toppers. so it could be perfect. because - i ... it needed to be perfect." he appears to be dying of embarrassment, which does imply he might be capable of dying. oh good. in case i need to try to kill him a third time.

the thought makes a weird, wet laugh bubble out of you. "remember that one time i failed my math test and you set mr. fog's car on fire about it?"

edmund looks shyly at you, and a very small grin spreads across his face. not the dark lord - just a 30-something year old man who has just upset his one-and-only twin.

"you're throwing us the most ostentatious, egregiously expensive wedding," you tell him. "above land."

he frowns a little. "okay, but i'm not doing anything in miami. the vibes there give me the heebie jeebies."

ashe holds up their hand. "and you'll be repaying the deposit on literally everything. oh, and replacing the cake."

you kiss their cheek and then point to him. "and you'll be on time for it."

he shrugs a little. "okay, i literally can't perform miracles, so like. set the bar lower. i can't promise i'll-"

you look down at your feet. "i'd like you to be my man of honor this time. like. by my side. so. you can't be late this time. okay? we do it the right way. finally."

"huh," ashe says, looking between the two of you. "you guys have the same smile."

edmund's grin becomes a little wider, a little easier. he raises an eyebrow at them. "okay, i get that you're cool, but you're like, very cool about this whole thing."

ashe lifts a shoulder. "used to work for the monster under the bed."

"oh shit, simon? fuck." he points to them. "remind me not to mess around with you."

you want to tell edmund i love you and i missed you, but you can't. instead, you pick up the figurines. they're not perfect, but you can tell hours of his life went into each. his hands are so big - it must have taken him so much work to make these things so small. you picture him with his back bent over a workbench, trying to get a face into a tiny clay figure. the ceramic version of you is smiling. he's given you little fangs and a unibrow. he gave ashe a tiny yellow crown. you make the two figures kiss.

snow is falling indoors, little icicles of hellfire. ashe reaches out and take edmund's hand, and then, very awkwardly, he reaches out and takes yours too.

for a moment, it's just the three of you, and the beautiful quiet of the room.

You’re standing at the altar, about to get married to your beautiful fiancée. When suddenly the king of demons bursts through the door of the room, which naturally causes panic. You tried to warn everyone that inviting your sibling to the wedding would mean trouble, but they kept insisting.

[motheryves]

it's crazy to think that fionna was beating bitches ass left and right, killing innocent candy civilians, had two ppl kiss her in the same universe, pulled a whole ice king, survived in a vampire apocalyptic world, defeated larry the lobster's gay twin brother, and saved her universe

IN A BRA

[charlott2n]

ok so stranger in a strange land starts off kinda cool its like oooo there’s this weird alien guy and we think he’s from mars! but he looks human but he doesn’t understand human language or customs at all he comes from an utterly different culture. so the parts where he’s talking about peaceful communal martian culture and free love etc are really interesting and cool! especially contrasted with (american) earth culture’s individualism and strict sexual morals and capitalism.

and then you get like halfway through and realise the book actually exists so heinlein can write diatribes spoken by his self-insert character who saves our martian man (mike) and jill and the others and gets to pontificate for pages on pages on pages about his big rich house and ideas on religion and society that are like. so obviously just heinlein’s own in the world’s most obnoxious way because the narrative just lavishes adoration and attention on this rando self-insert that doesn’t show up until a third(?) into the book and he just knows everrryyything and is so rich and intelligent and calm and able to handle everything he’s sooooo perfect.

and then the book becomes unbearably misogynistic and homophobic. like mike the martian starts what’s basically a cult around his martian ideals (which i don’t necessary disagree with — some/most of his ideals around community and sex are cool) but heinlein has to say like every other page that ohhh yeah sure we’re all having crazy polyamorous sex all the time and living together in harmony BUT NO GAY PPL. NO HOMOS BTW. ok maybe two women if a man is into it but no homosexuals that’s disgusting and unnatural. anyway lets have more straight sex and talk about how women are biologically inferior and it’s their fault they get sexually assaulted and also did you know heinlein’s self-insert character is so beloved and cool and amazing and has great opinions like how all religion is stupid bullshit and r/atheism is the most based sub ever.

there’s probably stuff im forgetting bc i hated it so much but i was just reminded abt it. thanks for listening

fuuuuuck that sucks ass. ill stay away. thank you for your review 😁

[talaricula]

I know this is a gay lawyer opinion and as such probably spectacularly biased but ever since ntn came out I have been going absolutely crazy about the reveal that Cassiopeia is a gay lawyer and that she was the one to, first, call Jod out for granting more importance to punishing billionaires than to saving the billions of other people on Earth, and to, second, plot for ten thousand years to betray him. Idk if tazmuir did it on purpose but this reveal hit me right in the fucking heart and is for some reason incredibly meaningful to me.

Other ppl have already pointed out that Jod picked his STEM buddies to be necromancers and the more humanities leaning people/very broadly service workers (not that I'm a big fan of cops or clergy but you catch my drift) as cavaliers. But what's interesting here is that Cassiopeia is the exception to that. She's a necromancer and she's a lawyer. Which speaks v interestingly to the position law holds in a lot of STEM ppl's minds - it's "tough" enough to kind of be honorary STEM. But, crucially, it is factually not STEM. It is factually, very obviously, humanities. Its whole point is analysing society and figuring out how we want to shape it. And STEM people forget that. Which means that Of Course it's the STEM ppl who forge ahead, doing things because they have the capacity to, and of course it's the lawyer who is the first to question whether they should do so, what the impact of that is on the actual world, whether there shouldn't be agreements and rules about this.

And look don't get me wrong, I don't have an idealised view of law. Law can be one of the most oppressive forces in our current society. People often uphold it for the sake of itself and not for the sake of what it can do for people, to make the world and people's lives better, and the consequences of that are, unquestionably, a net bad. But that's where the gay lawyer part comes in. I work in an office where over half of us are queer lawyers and there is something fundamentally delicate and "in the middle" about being gay and a lawyer. Law is often actively hostile to queer people, and most queer people who go into law go into it with the intent to change it (or its application, even on a very small scale) rather than to uphold it because they are aware of its unfairness and oppressiveness. But simultaneously you need to believe in law enough to believe that it can be a useful tool for change if you're going to devote your professional life to it, which is a relatively idealistic position to hold. In my experience, the consequence of that is that queer lawyers are often the most likely to be very critical and sceptical of law and agreements and systems and people in power, even the ones they're close to, because a significant part of their lives is led in the midst of, very close to, or at least in a state of constant hyper awareness, of a system that is hostile to them for being queer.

Which is why it is so crucial that Cassiopeia is a Gay Lawyer. Of course she is the one who realises that the new rules and agreements implemented by her friend who suddenly finds himself with incredible power are detrimental to society as a whole. Of course she's the one who sees the inconsistencies between what he says he wants to achieve and what he's de facto working towards. Of course she's the one who calls him out for it. Being in close contact with both the rules and the people who makes them or enforce them isn't new to her, and analysing them is literally her job. He made a contract with his friends and with the world and he's not upholding it. Of course she's the one who takes issue.

Cassiopeia has to be radical enough to actively support Jod's cause at the beginning and traditionalist enough to see when he's going overboard and then again radical enough to call him out for it and build her own revolution. Cassiopeia has to be idealistic enough to believe a better world is possible and sceptical enough to realise when the new world they're building is emphatically not better and then idealistic enough again to believe it is possible to change it again, not back but forward, to something even newer. Cassiopeia has to be radical enough to spend thousands of years fomenting a rebellion against Jod and also traditionalist enough and enough of a Fucking Nerd to decide that the best and most efficient way to do that is to turn her House into a Rebellion University over that time period instead of, idk, anything a normal Rebel Against The Established Order would do. Of fucking course she's a gay lawyer.

Last point and then I'll shut up but equally crucial to this is that Nigella, her wife and cavalier, is AN ARTIST. The biggest cliché of "useless humanities", the person STEM looks at and thinks "I mean sure, fun enough, but ultimately a luxury at best and a waste of money and resources at worst". Because part of the divide within the field of law wrt what law means for society (is law a tool for society as it is or as it should be) is very much informed by how you look at society, of course, and while part of that outlook is informed by personal identity and experiences (ie the gay thing), another part is informed by the experiences and views of the people you surround yourself with. And Cassiopeia who loves an artist, Cassiopeia who strongly believes in the value of art for society, Cassiopeia who admires her lover for the way she studies and represents and transforms society through her art? That's so relevant to her specific brand of gay lawyer. That's the same Cassiopeia who's enough of an active idealist to side with Jod in an active rebellion against the agents of climate change at first, to stress the importance of helping innocents over punishing the guilty second, and to, finally, try to organise a revolution which, if I am interpreting all the care she takes with the Sixth correctly, prioritises helping the people Jod fucked over over punishing Jod.

TL;DR: Of course Cassiopeia is a gay lawyer and I love her, your honour.

[thelaurenshippen]

re: that *chef kiss* PERFECT Franken-Drummer post and tumblr not being all over The Expanse, I know right?? it’s such an amazing show with so many delightful, complicated characters yet it’s so unfairly slept on! maybe because S1 takes awhile to get going and ppl give up? idk but it makes me sad that I have so few ppl to squeal about Drummer and Amos and Bobbie and Christjen and Ashford and Naomi (ad infinitum) with 😭🚀😭

WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT OBSESSED WITH THE EXPANSE HELLO!?!?! there's literally so much to love about it oh my god. you're right, it DOES take a second to get going but once it does!!!

for those of you who have not read or seen The Expanse series (I myself have yet to read the books), let me tell you why you'll love it:

political space drama with incredibly distinct cultures and phenomenal world building, if you're a details girlie (gn), you're gonna go nuts

the found family vibes!!??! are off!?!? the charts!?!? (minor spoilers for the first few episodes) four people are thrown into a situation in which they accidentally become the most important people/fugitives in the whole galaxy and most of them DO NOT trust each other, what could possible go wrong, and even better, what could possibly go RIGHT

Christjen Avasarala. you are not ready for her. most powerful mover-shaker on earth with the most incredible outfits you've ever seen, refined elegance with the filthiest mouth, plus she's got a classic "whatever those two have going on is so gay it veers into something else entirely" with her younger protective knight lady, Bobbie

Bobbie. the "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" post is made for her. we meet her in the show for the first time when she arm wrestles a robot and WINS. you will be begging for her to step on you with her mech suit

speaking of women I want to step on me Camina Drummer. angry revolutionary pirate queen of my heart. do you miss the unique agony of 2000/10s queerbaiting but want it to be not baiting somehow? this show does that, idk how else to explain it. the most agonizing sapphic pining you've ever seen but it's textual and also not painful because its gay. don't worry, Camina fucks, just not the girl she wants most (also spoilers, but this is not a bury your gays show don't worry)

Jim Holden is literally just Some Guy who becomes the special fantasy chosen one because he simply cannot stop Getting Involved. nosiest bitch in the universe, I love him.

imagine you're a girl who leaves your shitty ex and gets a normal industrial job on a spaceship, only to have a six foot, two hundred pound killer dressed as a mechanic imprint on you like a baby duck, and its unclear whether he wants to fuck you or call you a little sister but he definitely WILL kill for you and will do literally anything you say and then you both end up caught up in a weird galactic war by mistake and there's this other guy with a captain america level moral compass and he's cute and you're into him except your shitty ex is still out there with the biggest secret you have and meanwhile your best female friend is the coolest person you've ever met but you don't think you can be what she needs and you're holding your family together, you're holding the universe together and all you want is justice for your people but unfortunately you've gone and fallen in love with the accidental most important man in the galaxy. well, every day Naomi Nagata wakes up

Praxideke Meng. botanist of my heart. literally tames the rabid guard dog that no one else could. gentle and able to stay gentle because of said dog. which brings me to...

Amos Burton. I saved him for last because he is my guy. he is THAT guy. canonically aromantic pansexual king. are you into guard dog characters? do you find yourself drawn to the "sorry my love language is acts of service and all I'm good at is killing people" characters? amos burton is like seventeen tumblr posts come to life. previously mentioned enormous killer dressed as a mechanic, former heels wearing "I didn't always work in space" sex worker who is always rolling into brothels and being like "you guys unionized?", gives a shit about basically no one in the universe except his crew and every single child in the galaxy, accidental comedian because he cannot stop saying weird shit, not a nice or good person but a loyal one, and one who is always trying to relearn the empathy that was carved out of him as a young person. every time he goes homicidal to protect one of his chosen people (crew + any and every child), an angel gets its wings.

fin.

[grocerystoredean]

season 7 dash simulator

edlundite

so do we think these latest winchester murder sprees are gonna be in the next books or nah

dickromananti

My Taylor Double Theory

disclaimer: first of all i want to be clear. i would never call for violence against someone, and do not want anyone to act on this information. I also do not believe in stereotyping and I am not trying to "put down" famous women.

gaylors dni!

Read More

biggersons-official

kids these days are all just turslucking and turfucking. whatever happened to turducken you used to love turducken

couldtransitionsaveher

catgirlkeyboard

richard roman enterprises slack simulator

coworker one: whoever is getting rid of my bottles of borax is so fucking annoying i literally need to clean things

coworker two: did anyone see the turducken is back in the cafeteria again

coworker three: who all stoned on that job

coworker four: last night we got a shipment of an animal bone. who locked up the warehouse after we need to have a conversation. this is important please reach out immediately

coworker five: Hi guys! This weekend is my bi-annual LARPing festival. The set up in the park is really awesome and if you want to check it out feel free to ask for the Queen of Moondoor! :DDDD

tiktaalic

peach simulator Mutual 1: why tf are borox stocks plummeting…….. Sorry for job posting again but ive been looking at these numbers for 30 minutes

Mutual 2: Anybodyy been keeping up with the taylor swift double (dswift) theoury. Ithink it might hold a lot of weight to be honest

Mutual 2: Like ive watched a lot of theory videos and i dont believe she’s weird because she’s gay and I dont believe she’s weird because she’s autistic I think she’s weird because she got replaced by a double whodoesnt know how to be human

Mutual 3: the other day when i was processing my mice spleens i read the shipping label and it literally goes to roman enterprises? lol what?

Mutual 4: people complaining about my chemical romance selling out. acting different. um i think i know more about gerard ways sleep habits than you do genius.

Mutual 5: was at knitting night when literally half the group brought up turduckens again? not to have food aversion but what are we talking about

Mutual 6: I love to hear my american friends talk. Turducken. Ford. Dick Roman. You are living in a hollywood movie. thank god you unserious country nothing better than cultural exchange

Mutual 6: Though to be clear Merlin has had a much more impactful effect on the Australian psyche than any of this politics you people have on the news.

Mutual 7: did anybody want to watch that the horrifying documentary about yellow cedar trees going extinct because of the emissions from the poultry farms

Mutual 8 : i love our beautiful world :)

reginamillsofficial I think the worst part of the true crime fandom is the ppl who want to fuck Sam winchester. The sideburns alone

Biggersons-official Everyone come in to try our new Turducken™️ today! It’s a real hoot! Only a .03 percent chance of hyperadrenal cannibalism!

pizza biggersons-official coming for Denny’s crown omg

glowcloudstyle AND NOW THE WEATHER

#wtnv #i ship it #dennys x biggersons

biggersmons when you get paid biweekly. Week one. Turducken. Week two. Ice soup

calamitysong Biggersons again Biggersons again Biggersons again

eduardosaverin7 Eat a vegetable!

calamitysong I keep forgetting :(

[minaaaawaaaa]

Reblog/comment with your favorite things in South Park *fanon media. Here's some of mine, pairing-related separated since some people don't really care for that, which is totally fine

Craig being partly Peruvian (derived from Pandemic I & II); either not Thomas's or Laura's biological son and half-siblings with Tricia. Also him just being tall asf; I think his dad is supposed to be taller than the average adult male character. Also Craig balding early in adulthood LOL

Plot twist villain Cartman in larger-scale-plot fics

Also, Cartman still earning God's wrath when he really, really deserves it

Kyle being the absolute fussiest little shit you've ever seen, at any age, for good reason usually. This is pretty canon, but still it's important to maintain

I think it's never directly put out there in canon besides Tweek's name being so terrible, but the Tweaks have definitely had Tweek and half the town on meth for years

Tweek being super artsy and those practices helping him relax; visual arts, music, sewing/crotchet, etc.

Clyde Donovan, the most sensitive crybaby football player of All Time

Quarterback Stan, regardless of high school/college/NFL level

It's so sad but longtime-alcoholic-since-10 Stan :( I still love him

Not sure when/where it became popular as it isn't too evident in canon, but the weird Craig and Kenny often being pothead frenemies thing? Idk when or why it started but it's pretty fun

Burnout yet extremely dependable Kenny working a ton in high school and often shooting for custody of his little sister Karen once of legal age. Also him being a scientific/mathematical genius but never applying it to prioritize Karen's comfort and safety instead. Also him being super clean given his family situation

Stan being the 5-in-1 body wash friend and Kyle being a major skin care girlie

When ppl draw them in the show's style and when they make them actually look like they're 9

Adaptation of the wackier canon events into a more realistic context like maintaining Butters's eye injury through other means, Kenny being gone for extended periods of time, Stan secretly taking in animals, still playing superheroes. I recently read an anger management counseling fic where Cartman bit off a guy's finger in an argument which I assumed was a Scott Tenorman Must Die reference

Pairing-related

Tweek being closer to the Tuckers than his own parents; his own house being tidier but the Tuckers' being much more of a home

Craig's been gay since 2007, Season 11 episode 8, "Le Petit Tourette." No straight reason for asking to do "the coolest kid in the world's" laundry. Has a type for twitchy dudes--Thomas from that same episode and then his relationship with Tweek

Cartman's demented-ass crush on Kyle; Kyman shipper or not, that kid's got bigass issues. I do not ship Kyman but Eric's got a fucked up little obsession with Kyle. Bro saved his family from deadly L.A. smug because he couldn't live happily without having Kyle there to constantly argue with

Stan being the one to be super down bad for Kyle yet also be the one with more issues in the relationship. I love Stan but dude has way too much of Randy in him, he's gotta be a pain in the ass

Only Kenny calling Butters "Leo," with most characters not recognizing his actual name being Leopold; being sort of popular as a secretive background relationship and Kenny being very protective

[weird-dork37]

Intro post

Ok so turns out I actually might post stuff so I guess for ppl who see these posts here’s a bit about me

My name is Iris (my friend helped me pick it out and I love it so much)

My sexuality is Aroace, Im Genderfluid, Any pronouns are fine, INFP, Aries, Hufflepuff, minor so pls don’t be creepy and weird, I like to read and paint and give ppl gifts, I play the French horn and trumpet( I want to learn the Saxophone, piano, Violin, Drums, Bass, Guitar, etc) I love cats and dogs, I have 3 dogs but no cats😔( my dad is allergic), I want a ferret cause I think they are cute, My fav wild animal is an Otter, I love Frogs, I like memes and gay stuff and band and theatre, IM OBSESSED WITH DUCKS( I HAVE A COLLECTION OF RUBBER DUCKS AND I WANT TO HAVE ATLEAST 1000 BY THE TIME THAT I DIE) ill prolly add more as I remember

Music that I like- Taylor Swift, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, Chloe Ament, Cavetown, Girl in Red, Mistki, Laufey, Lady Gaga, Orla Gartland, mxmtoon, Baby Queen, beabadoobee, Wolf Alice, Billie Eilish, Sabrina Carpenter, Hozier, Benson Boone, Djo, Chapell Roan, Tate McRae, Arctic Monkeys, Gracie Abrams, Lana del Rey, Melanie Martinez, etc

Books that I like- HEARTSTOPPER(Osemanverse), Hunger games, PJO(the entire universe of PJO), Harry Potter, Divergent, The Cruel Prince, A good girls guide to murder, The inheritance games, The Babysitters Club, Shatter Me, Six of Crows/ Shadow and Bone, The inheritance cycle, Acotar, Fablehaven/Dragonwatch, Better than the movies, prolly others I just can’t remember

Movies that I like- Hunger Games, Love Simon, Nimona, Inside out, Tangled, Crush, Harry Potter, Luca, 10 Things I hate about you, Clueless, Big hero 6, Barbie, Enola Holmes, Encanto, Coco, Little Woman, Marvel, Maze Runner, Megamind, Shrek, Ik there are others but my memory is rlly bad rn so I’ll just add them when I remember them

TV Shows that I like- HEARTSTOPPER, The Owl house(TOH), She-ra, Heartbreak High, Bridgerton, Friends, Survivor, The Good Place, Big bang Theory, How I met your Mother, Home Economics, The Vampire Diaries, Abbott Elementary, Anne with an E, Arcane, Bojack Horseman, Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World, Brooklyn 99, Carmen Sandiago, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Miraculous Ladybug, Criminal minds, Stranger things, Gilmore Girls, Julie and the Phantoms, Love Victor, Ik there is more but yk bad memory

Ppl that I Kin big time- Luz noceda, Tori spring, Charlie spring, Robin Buckley, Hunter from TOH, The collector from TOH, Will Byers, Nick Nelson, Rain whispers from TOH, Entrapta from she-ra

Ik there’s more to say but I honestly can’t remember) I guess just look at what I post and repost🤷‍♀️

You guys seem like awesome ppl😊

So guess all that’s left to say is Hi!

Edit- My Pinterest username is rAiNbOw_MaFiA (I don’t post much on there, but I have a LOT of boards and pins saved)

[cr33p-a-z01d]

Yap the headcannons at me, please. I want to read

omg YAYYYY alright anyways

headcanons under the cut :33

Alex

ok so I feel like he is SOOO EMO like all he's plays in the car is fall out boy and everyone is SICK of it

this man is egotistical its crazy

like thought his script was so good

really good with fixing cameras and shit

literally the way him and jay met was jays camera was broke and alex offered to fix it

I feel like they all have a but of internalized homophobia but him and tim have it the worst imo

brian came out to him and he was like "don't try and flirt with me bro 🤨" and brian was like "I was not planning on it?"

bro is so bisexual its crazy

one of the main reasons he hired tim and brian was cause he thought they were cute

Brian

this one is probably gonna be one of the longest cause I have so many thoughts about him :,)

ocd (< I'm projecting)

because of said ocd this man can't drive

but when he does he drives like a fucking maniac

I feel like he just listens to whatever ppl have on in the car

so whenever you ask him to play music it's like a mix of jimmy eat world, country, and like. pop music

asks ppl out as a joke alllllll the time

cause of the yk. falling out of a window thing, his back is all fucked up

like it healed but it never really healed

he can walk and stuff but sometimes when the pain gets bad he has to use a wheelchair

how does he survive you may be asking? 1. the power of homosexuality. 2. because I said so

I also think he's gay and asexual btw

I have more but I don't want this to he TOO long :,))

Tim

diagnosed with autism at a very young age

this man cannot do eye contact to save his life

this might be a hot take but I don't think he listens to music at all

it's either country music or nothing

mostly nothing

grew up catholic so he has a lot of internalized homophobia

he figures it out tho :)

honestly hated alexs movie

he thought it was cool at first but then they actually started filming and he realized how stupid it was

him and brian talked shit about it all the time

I feel like the song alligator skin boots by mccafferty fits him SO WELL

homeschooled until he was like a freshman

Jay

also autistic

the definition of the meme "stares at you with my autistic eyes"

ok I know it doesn't line up timeline wise but I feel like he would LOVE mccafferty and the front bottoms

like look me dead in my eyeballs and tell me his favorite song isn't bottom by mccafferty 🤨

a FREAK no I will not be elaborating

I don't have any more for Jay very sorry 😔

I dont have many jay thoughts

ok thats it :33 this was actually sm fun

these are just the mh guys but honestly I have a bunch more for the regular creepypastas too sooooo

[rhfffas]

brother in distress, princess knight in shining armor, princess x knight love story but gay, arranged royal marrige but the prince believes ppl should fall in love freely, two women hating each other but turns out one is the other’s protector, woman rejects staight marrige proposal and queerness saves the world from evil heteronormativity, this show makes every boring sexist/cishet trope fun!

[storiesofsvu]

Solace in Solitude Masterlist

Emily Prentiss x reader Summary: Emily wakes up in Paris, confused, hurt and alone. That is, except for you, the doctor who saved her life after Ian tried to take it from her. She's isolated, lonely, and yet again, living another double life and thus isn't feeling too grateful towards you. You on the other hand, are equally upset after being ripped away from your own life back in Boston, uprooting your entire career to a place you've never been with the worlds worst patient and minimal to no contact with your friends and family. Neither of you is entirely sure what's going on or how much danger Emily could still be in and that certainly doesn't help with getting along and Emily despises having to have a baby sitter 24/7. Will the two of you learn to get along or will it be constant bickering and frustrations? How long are you going to be trapped together and will you be able to return to your old lives when all of this is over? Being isolated together like this could either drive both of you to the point of insanity or to the breaking point of giving in, the question remains, which direction you'll end up snapping.

warnings: lots of language, some (probably not that accurate) medical/injury talk, your regular dose of hurt/comfort, all chapters will be tagged appropriately. Dm/comment/ask to be removed/added to the tag list (though i believe I'm up to 50 ppl already and that's the max. If people are not interacting, they will be removed and I will add people who will interact)

Spotify Playlist (under construction)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10**

Chapter 11**

Chapter 12**

Chapter 13

Chapter 14**

Series Completed!

__________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @melindawarnersgf @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @ilovemycrayons @mandy-asimp @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @daffodil-heart @its-soph-xx @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @hopelesslyfallenninlove @peanutbutterprincess @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @s1ut4nat @scorpsik @prentiss-theorem @strongsassysexysloane @happenstnces @sapphicprentiss @geekyandgay98 @pagetboobstarcomments @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 @theclassicgaycousin @regalmilfs4me @kalixxa @ara-a-bird @five-bi-five-mind @niyizh @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @tommyriddleobsessed @hotchs-bitch @ollysmulti