#gay boys who have seen too much and hardened by it

[luwe21]

Monsters: The Story of Lyle and Erik Menendez Story

The show was chaotic. Not shade the actors involved, of course, but it was a charade of what really happened.

After the brothers killed their parents, they went on a spending spree, it was true, and they were seen at a basketball game. In a way, this card is proof of what the brothers were capable of. They brutally killed their parents and then sat at a game completely relaxed and unexcited.

The portrayal of the two brothers was a grotesque caricature of their real-life counterparts. In particular, Lyle was portrayed as the typical toxic male stereotype of the spoiled rich boy and Erik as the typical weak, soft gay stereotype. None of this is true. It is sad that we still need the stereotypes to portray men. And the incest was unnecessary. What Lyle did to Erik on the show was a behavioral problem, not incest. Young children explore their own bodies and those of others, so-called "doctor" play. But normal play should never involve penetration. This is the problematic and borderline behavior of young children who may have been molested, raped or abused by their caregivers and should always be evaluated or treated by professionals. The choice of actors was also very deliberate. Of course, they couldn't be ordinary people, they had to be male models. As with Dahmers Story, fans are attracted to the actors and forget that this are real life crimes.

Erik gives a good and thoughtful answer to the chaos of a show. "Why is truth not enough?" The truth is already a spectacle. Two young men kill their rich and famous parents for unknown reasons. Then they spent a lot of money and "celebrated" until they were caught and sent to prison.

Violence is never the answer. But isn't that also true for their parents? Were they left with no choice but to kill their parents? Sadly, it seems that even today, there is often no chance of justice for victims of the rich and powerful. Some celebrities are even victims and have not gotten justice either.

This needs to be corrected. Man beings can be victims and can be oppressed. This is a fundamental truth that is not yet represented in some legal systems. Rape doesn't have to involve penetration to be rape.

I am appalled by Pam Bozanich's statements and her still hardened stance on the crime. She believes to this day that the brother's fabricated the abuse and molestation to avoid the death penalty and that it is still "just for money".

All I know from my love of true crime is that nobody would kill their parents like that just for money.

Nobody would disfigure their parents with multiple gunshots if it wasn't deeply personal.

And I also know that juries are reluctant and too "proud" to retry a case.

The case is complicated and involves a lot of factors that can't be proven 100% and is based on personal statements rather than concrete evidence.

The show hasn't helped at all. Except make Ryan Murphy and Netflix richer and spread misinformation. Maybe it helps a little to shine a light on the brothers, but not much.

[dingergum]

(Characters are from @canisalbus)

Something very different from what i usually draw and from my last Vaschete fanart. I love those guys so i really wanted to make more fanart, but i didn't know what to draw exactly.

Here, i tried to paint Machete, Vasco and Smollchete in the style of the character portraits in Disco Elysium. I don't think i quite achieved that effect, but i still liked the end results.

Smollchete is further away from the usual character portraits in DE, but it was on purpose because i wanted to emphasize how he's just a little guy. And the little guy gets smaller and smaller...

In retrospective (because i finished this art a few days ago) Disco Elysium's style of painting doesn't really seem to mix the colors, which i did a lot here, specially on Machete. Also not a lot of gradients like i did on Vasco. They also shade with much more wild and different colors.

I'm going to put all the rest of my madman ramblings below. It's long and your mileage may vary if you played Disco Elysium or not (no spoilers tho.)

---

Okay, so... As i had the idea of making these disco elysium style portraits but with the gay catholic dogs, i had just beaten Disco Elysium. And so, as i was doing my things in my day to day life, waiting for the opportunity to actually draw them, i kept thinking about skill interactions with the boys, like if your main character talked to them and had enough points in the skill.

Things like Half-light identifying Machete as a brutal and hardened survivor just by looking at his eyes, but Physical Instrument doesn't believe that because Machete looks like just a spindly noodle. And Half-light would be like no bro, trust me, this guy is hardcore.

Shivers or Spirit-de-Corps would tell you how Machete is treated among his fellow bishops and how he's either vilified or seen as a tool. And at that Inland Empire would pipe in saying “He is treasured. But not here.” because yeah we love him. Despite almost everyone in his world hating his guts

Also yeah Reaction Speed clocking Machete as super paranoid. Specially considering maybe in this universe you'd be investigating one of his assassination attempts or maybe even something sinister that Machete had done.

Reaction Speed: “His eyes dart across the room, checking if you have any backup. Then, a twitch of the ear, followed by a sideways glance." Logic: "He is making sure he isn't being flanked.” Inland Empire: “But he's all alone...”

I also feel like Rhetoric would have a field day with Machete. Like, finally, a worthy opponent.

Empathy would get the feeling that despite his reputation, that there is someone else behind Machete's bug eyes, someone other than Machete, the pale eminence. If you have enough points in a skill, it would try to pipe in saying who they think it is, judging Machete (e.g: Authority: "A man superior to you."; Pain Threshold: "It's just sweet pain all the way to the bone."; Half-Light: "A survivor."; Encyclopedia: "The inside lining of the eye is covered by special light-sensing cells that are collectively called the retina. It converts light into electrical impulses. Behind the eye, your optic nerve carries these impulses to the brain. The macula is a small extra-sensitive area in the retina that gives you central vision.") concluding with Drama: "No one he'd want you to know, sire."

That would trigger a dialogue option for an Empathy white check to try and see who's actually behind Machete's eyes and see beyond his reputation and demeanor. I'd imagine you would get a +2 if you talked to Vasco before. And if you pass the check, the screen would go white and Machete's model and portrait would change to Smollchete and you'd be able talk to him for a moment, the little guy, and learn a little bit more about his backstory, stuff that he hides behind the Machete persona. That's why i painted Smollchete too. I don't think Empathy has this same kind of metaphysical effect like others skill in-game, but i thought it would be cool.

Talking to Vasco for the first time would just straight up heal you 1 morale. No skill check necessary. Here, have some free morale.

Your Encyclopedia would recognize his coat of arms and maybe deduce that Vasco is a diplomat or a politician. Then your Composure would tell you straighten your posture and put up your serious face, Suggestion would tell you to flatter him while adressing him strictly formally, but the two of them would be thrown off-kilter as Vasco starts acting very casual and down-to-earth. Maybe Authority would judge his attitude to be unfitting of someone in such position. Idk. This is all random ramblings that were bouncing in my head that i needed to let out.

Hope this isn't too weird, i just had a lot of time between having the idea to draw this and actually sitting down to draw it, so these ideas were just popping up in my head. I wish i could've just put those in the tags, but it waaaay exceeds the tag limit.

[alarrytale]

Sorry if this is weird but i don’t have any fandom friends and want to get something off my chest: i think a lot of larries use the idea of hl (Louis especially) being puppeteered by management as a coping mechanism for anything he does they don’t like. Louis moving away from clean boyband pop music and fashion towards grungier punk-influenced stuff? It’s lthq forcing him to change who he is to appeal to dirty hets. Couldn’t be that he’s genuinely changing as an artist. He doesn’t really prefer the indie scene over stadium pop. Lthq makes him smoke and drink. Lthq makes him not act stereotypically flamboyant and effeminate. It must all be an act for the hets because it’s impossible to be gay and a lad. I’m not an anti but I’ve noticed a pattern of larries building up an idealized image of who the boys ‘really’ are and dismissing everything about them that falls outside those narrow parameters as fake. It’s especially weird as someone who got on board long after the 1D era and seeing older fans lament how they used to be more ‘authentic,’ whereas i look at those old interviews and performances and things seem much more polished and restrictive to fit the young teen demographic. I’ve even seen people argue that the weed incident with zayn was 100% staged to foreshadow babygate, as if two young dudes with money lighting up on their own is unthinkable. My point is i think a lot of larries’ personal identities are tied up in these two strangers, so when those two strangers do things that don’t line up perfectly with larrie perception and opinions, the closet and management are easier scapegoats to process than growing apart from your favs. I’m not telling anyone off, I’m just saying a lot of people are setting themselves up for disappointment when hl’s less popular behaviors don’t immediately stop after they CO.

Hi, anon!

I think there is a lot of cherry picking going on in this fandom too, on both sides actually not only on the larrie side of things. And i think some people believe it has to be one or the other, and not 'both can be true at the same time'. Believe me, if i could blame the base ball cap he wore on stage last night on lthq i would!

About his image change. I think it's both lthq and louis himself who chose this. But i think it's not all him, and at the same time he's more than that. We are talking about the man who's favourite movie is still Grease, who listens to Abba and has a far away tattoo. Even though his sound is still mostly pop (at least to me, hold your horses you genre puritans), his looks and behaviour in public has changed to match a more laddy and chav image. Even though his image has changed he's acting like an adored boy bander superstar with his fans. His image weren't neccessarily more authentic back then, but Louis as a person was. He was speaking more freely about his likes and dislikes, joked more, were bolder before he slowly was hardened by fame and the closet. But he grew up and out of some things too. So it's a combination of both.

You're not an anti, but you talk about us larries like you don’t identify with us as a group, and you also put us all in the same basket like we're one entitiy who share the same thoughs and beliefs. I don't think a lot of larries personalities are tied up with these two strangers. I think there is a lot of projecting going on, but i think most people can seperate fact from fiction. I don't think people will be dissapointed after they come out, even though some people have them on a pedestal.

I obviously think i have them both figured out, but the things i struggle to explain i question. If i can't rule out that their actions or behaviour can be tied to obligations out of their control, i'll be more forgiving. I don't blame weed smoking or cig smoking on management. I blame it on his need for a coping mechanism to dull his thoughts after living a long life in the closet, away from his loved ones and having to cope with the loss of close family members. The clothes he wears on stage, that i don't like, i blame partly on his image, current fashion trend, his stylist but also himself. I acknowledge that he probably could say no if he didn’t like it. I also acknowledge that others may love what i personally hate.

I don't think H and L coming out would fix every issue the fandom has with them. I don't think they are perfect persons. I also know that even if they come out there are still NDAs in effect and they can’t give us all the answers. They may have to talk about Simon cowell like the sun shines out of his ass. Harry is still going to be ignorant of his own privilege and put his foot in his mouth. Louis is still going to be a lad who stuggles to remember his own songs. And i'm still going to be here calling them out on it.

[emojihobi]

dI was tagged by @foreverrain01 to put my top 10 male and female fictional characters 

Women: (in no particular order) 1. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) 2. Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) 3. Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice) 4. Sybil Crawley (Downton Abbey) 5. Gina Linetti (Brooklyn 99) 6. Renee Walker (All for the Game) 7. Nina Zenik (Ketterdam Duology) 8. Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)  9. Amy Santiago (Brooklyn 99 this show has a lot of great female characters okay) 10. Elena Alvarez (One Day at a Time)

Men: (in no particular order) 1. Jeremy Knox (All for the Game) ((if you cant tell i like the sunshine characters)) 2. Ronan Lynch (The Raven Cycle) 3. Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) 4. Tom Bransen (Downton Abbey) 5. Jake Peralta (Brooklyn 99) 6. Fred/George Weasley (Harry Potter) 7. Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf) 8. Draco Malfoy (A Very Potter Musical/A Very Potter Sequel) 9. Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) 10. Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon the movies)

Honorable Mentions: (these are mainly characters I find fascinating from an authorial perspective, like the character itself is complex and interesting in my opinion) Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten (All for the Game) Nico DiAngelo (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) Inej Ghafa and Kaz Brekker (Ketterdam Duology)  Penelope Alvarez (One Day at a Time) Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) Achilles and Patroclus (Song of Achilles)

fun fact before I was a kpoppie I had a multifandom/book blog so if you want to talk to me about any of these characters please feel free!!!  I lowkey have no idea who would want to get tagged but if you guys want to do this I would love to read your lists! @joonsrack @kpopfan-antics @jenphobic @lunarhoseok @hosnack @1hoseokie @bigtiddiejoon @mostproblematic @raplinesdom @babyphatlingerie @jinseas

[mystic-sky]

Summary: Gojo sneaks into your dorm cause he sort of “misses” you. Oh, and Shoko’s there too.

Pairings: Gojo Satoru/reader/Shoko Ieiri

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings/Tags: Minors DNI, NSFW, threesome, cream pie. If you weren’t gay for Shoko before you will be after this.

yeah no one asked me for this lmaooo, but it’s Shoko loving hours✨

Shoko Ieiri is deep in sleep on your bedroom floor, surrounded by half eaten snacks and DVDs. After a girl’s night in, she felt too tired to walk just two doors down to her own room and crawl into her bed. So here she was, inhabiting your extra futon on a school night.

You’re dozing off just 2 hours past midnight. That is, until you heard a few light taps at your window. The sounds peck you out of your light slumber, making you groan and slide downwards underneath the comforter, assuming it’s a tree or a bird. The noise persists further, making you groan an even louder and irritated noise. Finally you sit up, crankily sliding out of bed. You stare at Shoko enviously, who is un-phased by the noise.

You slide the blinds open on the sliding doors, jumping back at the large frame peering back at you. You clutch your chest, before letting out a large heave, unlocking the glass pane door.

“You scared the living shit out of me,” you whisper-yelled.

Satoru leans against the doorway, staring back at you in baggy night clothes. “Yo.”

You’re staring at him with tired eyes.

“What the hell do you want?” You whisper.

“I missed you,” his hand reaches the back of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead before casually brushing past you.

This was normal, you suppose. He’d snuck into the girl’s dorm at the school countless times to sleep with you. You both weren’t dating, only frisky classmates. You did however enjoy the spontaneous pop ups.

“Shoko’s here.” You say simply as he tosses his phone on your desk. “And you should’ve texted me.”

You’re still standing there with the patio door open, thinking he’d leave as soon as he saw her there.

“My bad,” he’s smiling cheekily at you. “And I couldn’t sleep, so I came here to spend the night.”

You sigh and shut the door, realizing he was definitely staying. You pull the blinds shut as he removes his sweatshirt and slides. He lets out a whine as he realizes what Shoko is sleeping on. 

“My futon...” he whines. He’s so bothered by it. He never slept on the thing either; you stole it from him a while back.

You aren’t worried about Shoko waking up in the morning to him in your bed, she’s seen it all before. She can hardly understand your infatuation with Satoru. But, she’s a pro at minding her business. A good friend overall, considering boys are forbidden from being in the girls dorm after hours. 

You ignore him, and brush past his lanky body to climb back into your bed. He follows, squeezing onto it with you. It was barely full sized— somehow still the largest in the girls dorm, resulting in majority of your hook ups to be in your room. Sometimes, Shoko would crawl in bed with you, and sometimes you two would do more than sleep together on school nights.

You’re so tired, so groggy as he snuggles into you. The deepest hum pours into your ear. His strong bare arms are intoxicating, the way they wrap around you like he needs you— but he doesn’t. He typically acts like he doesn’t need anyone actually, so when he clings to you like this it sort of throws you off. But you know he’s just indulging in human touch. It’s not such a serious thing to him. He’s such an airhead. You know he’d never actually go out with you. 

“You and Shoko had all the fun without me...” He whines it, and it’s pretty loud. He doesn’t care if she wakes up. He’s already hard and his length is stabbing your back. 

“We didn’t do anything,” you say simply. His hand slides up your shirt, and his finger tips are cold. They sting the flesh of your breasts, but your body’s so hot you don’t even flinch. “And your hands are freezing.”

One of your nipples harden into the center of his palm and he feels it, using his thumb and index finger to squeeze and pull at the thing.

“Ah, so I made the both of you wait long? I’m sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all. You roll your eyes, and he can’t even see you do it but he laughs anyway.

“One day,” he purrs, and the sound is enough to send chills up your spine.

“Like she’d ever sleep with trash like you,” you scoff, turning around and wrapping an arm around his neck.

“Your jealousy is showing.” You finally get to see his toothy grin.

“Hardly,” you roll your eyes again. You don’t allow him to speak any more, pressing your tired lips against his. The movement is groggy— a sleepy lovers kiss of sorts if you’ve ever had one. He’s tired himself, but his ever growing bulge won’t let him rest in his own dorm. 

“A quick fuck, so we can sleep.” Satoru says the words so quickly, but he doesn’t miss your nod. 

“We have a 9AM,” you feel inclined to remind him about your class in the morning. Your hands are trailing up his back, feeling along the muscles.

He hums before sliding down beneath your comforter, disappearing from your side. His finger tips are warmer now, wrapping around the hem of your pants. You realize what’s happening, and shift your body to help him slide them down. His mouth is buried in your sex in seconds, making you grip the blanket above your head to watch him eat it beneath the covers. It’s not like you can see much though, but you love to hear the sound of his tongue on you. 

It’s a loud noise even though he’s muffled. You let out soft whimpers as not to wake Shoko. He loves to suck on your clit more than anything. He gives soft licks in between to relieve your center from the extreme stimulation but it doesn’t do much. The pattern edges you every time, and he does it on purpose. He says it makes you restless and a lot more needy for him.

He hums his mouth against your clit, making you roll your hips into him.

“Put it in already,” you’re teething at the edge of the blanket, but he hears you nonetheless.

He rises up, chin running a muck of juices with the blanket over his head like it’s a veil. It was weird how his eyes would ignite like that in the dark, like they were made of that glow in the dark fluid. The moonlight finally poured over the clouds, giving the room a bit of light.

“Pretty boy,” you say quietly, spreading your legs in front of him. 

“You think so?” He’s quick to lather up two fingers in his mouth before plugging them in you. He sits there, flicking upwards against the resisting flesh of your walls, making you wriggle in pleasure. 

“You’ll wake Shoko with a pussy this loud,” he’s immersed in the slick covering his hand with every motion. You head locks onto the girl on the floor whose back faces you both, shoulders rising and falling softly.

“Unless you wanna,” he withdraws his fingers from you, sucking tightly on them before releasing them with a pop. “Dirty girl.”

He’s sliding his raw length against you now, “So wet for me too.”

You’re bobbing your hips downward towards him, nibbling at your bottom lip, anxiously waiting to be penetrated. “Mhmm...” 

Disagreeing with him would only slow down the process.

“That’s right,” he’s hunching over you now, flicking his hard tip against your soaked cunt.

“Now gimme a kiss,” the taste of you is still prominent on his tongue as he cups your face to kiss you. He slides himself into you while still attached to your mouth, feeling your tongue and body contract from the penetration. He’s shuddering into you softly, sucking and pulling on your bottom lip. He gives you air after the first few plunges into your sex, forcing semi-loud sounds from your throat.

The feeling of his curved length is always welcome, stretching you out just right. He knows that you’re so whipped, no matter how much you ignore him at school or pretend to be annoyed with him. When he has you like this, drooling for him, he knows he could probably convince you to do anything. 

The sound of skin slapping skin was thankfully  muffled by the blanket over the both of you. The bed is creaking slightly as he speeds up. You and Satoru would make it a habit to fuck on the futon you took from him to avoid excessive noise at night. 

“I can’t go as fast as I want to,” he grits. He’s frustrated about noise all of a sudden. 

“You should’ve waited until tomorrow, now I’m all worked up. Hurry up and finish.”

“Believe me, I’m trying sweetheart.” 

“Do you both talk this much all the time when you do it?”

The futon speaks, or rather, the young woman now sitting upwards on top of it did. She’s rubbing her eyes and shifting from underneath her blanket. 

“For fucks sake,” she muttered. Satoru smirks wildly, making you slap his arm.

“Sorry Sho,” you say sheepishly. She hardly looks angry at you. Her own eyes are warm and tired as she crawls over to the edge of the bed right beside you.

“It’s okay,” the words are sweet like honey on her tongue. She’s never been angry at you for anything. Even in moments she probably should be. Her hair falls against your chest as she brushes her lips against yours, initiating a kiss. 

Her mouth is soft and feathery, and she doesn’t care for Satoru’s presence at all, inserting herself between you both with her kiss. You find yourself sitting up and kissing her back, even with him still between your legs.

Seeing you kiss someone else, especially having that someone be Shoko, was a different kind of attractive. Still inside of you, Satoru pumped slowly while she hung over the edge of the bed mouthing you off. A sweet moan from you poured into her mouth, her favorite sound, making her smile against you. 

She parts her lips from you, and the look you give her is so smothered and needy. You wanted her in this bed with you too.

“Please,” you whine to her. And she can’t think to say no because it’s you. 

“Of course,” she’s willingly removing her shirt for you. She’s confident about her body, stripping just for you. You nudge Satoru, who separates from you in order to make space for her. She climbs in beside you, making herself comfortable.

“Why don’t you sit back and watch for a bit,” her lips curl into a smile, using a single foot to push him back onto his knees. 

“Beat your cock or something, whatever men do,” she smiles smugly. He laughed deeply before nodding.

“Give me a show,” his voice is low when he says it, positioning himself at the end of the bed. He obediently starts stroking his length covered with your fluids. You on the other hand are waiting for something— anything to help yourself cum. Shoko feels you spread your legs as she presses her hot, bare breasts against your ribs. Her fingers are so slim and smooth, sliding between your folds to play in your slickness.

“Let’s show him how fast I make you cum,” she lowers her voice, blowing air into your ear. She spread goosebumps across your arms and legs, adding a kiss just beneath your ear. You nod loosely.

Her fingers rub delicate, rhythmic circles on your clit. Her mouth is on yours again, tonguing you down while he watches ravenously. Soft squeals pass through your lips while you roll yours hips at her silk touch. 

Two of her nimble fingers prod at your entrance while her tongue swirls around your own. You moan greedily, asking her to stimulate you further by using your body. 

She knows what you want, she always does. And that’s why she pumps them into you, curling at your center. With each curve of smooth padded fingertips against slick flesh, several sounds emanate throughout the room. Ragged breathing, ragged moaning, dick stroking, wet mouths— wet sounds.

Its a lude feeling, being watched like this. They both want nothing more than to ravish you, and you feel it through Satoru’s piercing arctic eyes and Shoko’s refined touch. She’s immersed in you, climbing half way over you while she continues to pump your sex. Her hard nipples irritatedly rub against yours while she pours her tongue into your mouth. She feeds off of your moans, humming back in affirmation. She knows you’re going to cum, you don’t have to say anything to hint at it.

Your cunt splashes against her palm while your body rolls against her. She pulls away to watch your eyes fall back. Sweet relief at last, you think, but she’s hardly done with you.

Shoko pulls her hand from your slimy cunt, laughing softly as she slides her tongue between the two sullied fingers.

“You got all that?” Shoko says, peering back at Satoru, who had been gritting his teeth at the two naked women in front of him.

“Mhmm,” he chuckles. “And are you questioning my ability to make her cum?”

He’s not actually offended, but he’d give anything to put this chick in her place. 

“You were talking a whole lot more than anything else.” She teases, now looking back at you. You’re panting at the two of them, twitching and aching for more like the spoiled brat you are. “Can you get up?” Shes asks.

You nod, pushing what you could of your upper body up. She runs both hands through her hair so confidently, she almost intimidates the both of you. “Good. And you’re gonna be on the bottom, since I can’t stand hearing you talk.” 

She says this without even looking at Satoru, moving over to allow him space to lay between you both. He chuckles, not really paying attention to the insult. “Optimizing the space? I get it now.” 

He lays back flat, arrogantly resting his head against his arms. “Choose your slot, ladies.” 

Shoko rolls her eyes, swinging her leg to hover her steaming sex over his face. You realize what’s happening as she opts you to straddle his lower half. You waste no time, sinking yourself onto his length and shuddering from the extra ripples of pleasure from your previous orgasm. You grip Satoru’s torso for support, nearly resting your head on Shoko’s shoulder. This prompts a moan from him, and the sound has this low growl in it. You clench yourself around him, soaking in the feeling some more.

Shoko wants to see your face while you rock against his length. She pushes your body up, and her eyes are soft on you. You were truly what she craved. Your weak and furrowed brows, your needy expression— everything about you made her ache. She takes your bruised lips in for a wet kiss, sucking on your bottom lip.

“You’ve got a pretty pussy,” Satoru says, blowing cool air against Shoko’s glistening slit.

“All the more reason for you to shut up and eat it,” she parts her lips from yours for only a second to say this. You feel her lower her cunt onto his tongue as she deepens your kiss. He chuckles again. 

“You’re so mean Shoko...” he fake whines. He wraps his mouth around her drenched clit, sucking on it as if he had something to prove. The repeated sucks force a loud moan from her lips and the sound pours onto your own. The song of his scorching tongue against her sex finds your ears, making you rock on onto his sex more with far more need than before.

He’s humming delightedly against her as her slickness pours down his throat. He releases his suction and replaces it with consecutive licks, giving her a break from the almost violent prior stimulation. She’s surprised, bewildered by her classmate’s seemingly flawless pussy eating talent. The short interaction showed her why you tolerated him at least a little bit. She swung her head back, scarfing back a moan as you wrapped a hand around one her breasts, tugging at her erect nipple.

Satoru is merely a prop at this point, allowing the both of you to make a mess on top of him. The experience is somewhat of a dream, as it may be for most men. He’s on cloud nine with the two of you on top of him like this.

You can hear him snickering beneath her as you rock weakly on his length, he was clearly proud of himself. She’s not shy on suffocating him in response, pushing more of her weight against him. He welcomes the action, groaning  at the taste of her dribbling down his chin. He welcomes the action by stuffing his tongue inside of her, earning the highest of pitches from the brunette.

It’s the hottest scene for you, seeing her pant above him like that, but she never takes her eyes off of you. Her mouth his wet, and her gaze pours over your a naked body as your breasts bounce all for her to see. She loved it like this; the best view in her opinion. She sticks out her tongue, practically begging you to suck on it. 

You can hardly deny her looking like this, attaching your mouth onto hers again. 

“(Name)...” she moans your name so punily against you, eyes partially open and glossy with pleasure. She’s dangerously close to orgasming, and Satoru is eerily telepathic. He applies his suction again, humming in affirmation for her to cum for the both of you. 

He reaches one hand to settle against her hip while his other hand firmly holds her upper thigh, somewhat locking her in place. He sloppily buries his face into her while her cunt squelches against his mouth. Keen on making a grand first impression, he worms a hand underneath her and dips two of his large fingers into her sex. Her mouth pops off your yours, throwing her head back as he curls his digits inside the bundle of flesh. She splashes against him, sullying his face. He ejects his fingers, drinking up most of what she creamed out onto his face.

Collapsing in the crook of your neck, her hot breath ignited your body even more, making you rock against Satoru’s length with fevor.

“Fuck, that’s sexy...” He released his mouth from her, groaning between clenched teeth. 

You’re under the impression that Shoko’s done for the night while you attempt you give yourself a final orgasm on top of him. Her hot mouth connects with your neck, sucking and dragging her soft lips against your fiery skin. 

A decadent moan passes your lips, and she hums against you. “Pretty girl, let me spoil you some more...” 

Feathery lips glide down your neck and chest as you brace back, still grinding away. She rolls one of your nipples against her tongue, palming your free mound for you while you focus on reaching your high. Raising her ass from the nest that was Satoru’s face, she smirks at the mess of fluids on his chin that she made, feeling a bit too proud of herself. She crawls up behind your body, pressing her boiling skin and still erect nipples against your back. You relax into her delicate touch, holding one of the hands that groped your breasts for you. 

“Tapping out?” Satoru asks, watching the two of you seemingly phase him out yet again. You’re rocking into him, but seeking so much attention from her. 

“No, I’m prioritizing this sweet lamb of mine,” the words drip from her lips like molasses. Her lips meet your neck yet again, nipping her teeth against the skin before sucking in a way that would surely leave a mark on you. 

“Yours huh?” Satoru grits his teeth. He was inches away from his orgasm just from watching the both of you all over each other like that. His large and calloused fingers grip you hips, guiding your loose humping above him.

“Mhmm,” Shoko hums softly. She doesn’t actually care about laying claim to you. You came to her for a different kind of sex— something he couldn’t provide. “Isn’t that right, (Name)?”

You’re entirely faded, head being cocked back on her shoulder for support, only begging her for extra stimulation. She knows this all too well, sticking two of her fingers into your mouth. 

She plays with your tongue shortly before pulling a string of saliva from you. She places her glossy fingers on your clit for you, rubbing in intricate circles. 

The smooth rhythm along with being filled up with his ever-twitching length finally spirals you into another orgasm, one that had been poking at your insides for a while now. You quiver on his length, throwing an arm back to caress Shoko’s hair while you ride it out. She’s moaning with you; she knows how good you’re feeling right now. 

The room is hot and loud with moans, and Satoru can no longer hold his crowning load. His fingers are squeezing (a bit too hard) at your waist, almost bruising you as his toes curl in ecstasy. Watching Shoko grind her naked body against yours was something he would engrave into his brain. She claimed you were the spoiled one. He could argue otherwise, having gotten to see the both of you like this. 

“Fuck,” he breathes out. Thick wads painted the insides of your searing flesh, so much that you were already leaking onto his lap. 

“Good little lamb,” her hot breath finds your ear as your grinding finally subsides. She draws her fingers from you, soundly licking up the juices in your ear.

Your body twitches as it relaxes into her chest. She turns your head for a messy kiss, making your groan against her tongue. Satoru sits back up on his elbows, pushing some of his hair out of his face— as if he did much during this entire interaction.

Shoko gets from behind you, plopping in the space closest to the wall. You rise off his length, weakly motioning him to move over to lay between them.

“This bed is barely big enough for the three of us,” Satoru snickers, snaking an arm over both of your waists.

“You could always go sleep on your futon,” Shoko says, quick to remove his hand from her hip as she reaches for the comforter to cover your bodies. Satoru scowls a bit.

“Yeah, I bet you’d like that.” He rolls his eyes, snuggling closer against you. 

“Yeah~ you could use your futon.” You sleepily  slur, closing your eyes.

“Not you too,” he says quietly into the crook of your neck. 

There was more groggy and teasing conversation, not that the three of you would remember it when the morning came. You all slept in far past your 9AM class together. The best part though, was probably waking up to a half naked Satoru asleep on the futon in the morning. You and Shoko kicked him off the bed throughout the night, and he gave up on trying to separate your bodies from one another.

[ninyard]

i want to know ANYTHING and EVERYTHING about the andrew meets neil as stefan au

YES PLS OKAY

(holy shit this was supposed to be a HC ramble/snippets from the fic but uhhh….here’s a mini fic instead????? The actual fic I wrote isn’t even set back in California it’s set in PSU??? This was supposed to be short backstory!!!!!! Anyways lmk if u want the foxes stuff lol Enjoy <3)

Neil had natural looking ashy blonde with green eyes at the time, no older than 14 years old, going by the name Stefan Montgomery. Him and Mary ended up in a motel in Oakland for a couple weeks, regaining their footing after a close-call somewhere in Oregon.

Mary had hit Neil a gnarly heavy-handed blow after he forgot which name he was using in Eugene. Was it Sam? Or Dylan? Or had it been Joseph? A nice inch wide cut sat where his perfect court tattoo would sit, just on the turn of his cheekbone below the corner of his eye, bordered by a healing purple-brown bruise. Stefan was born on the border between California and oregon, stolen from a waiter at a pit stop diner, who didn’t let their coffee cups go empty as they mapped out where to go next.

He had met Andrew by chance; Stefan had been sitting on the bottom of the metal stairs that led up to the floor they were staying at. Mary was having a shower, dying her hair, becoming Georgia, perfect mother, a beautiful, average woman. He was people watching, looking at the cars pulling in and out of the car park, making up his own stories about who was who, what their names were and if they were worth stealing when they inevitably moved on. Andrew hung around the motel because just behind the building was an old, decrepit playground that’s should’ve been foreclosed years ago. Nobody ever used it, so it was a quiet place for him to be alone. He’d been walking through the parking lot after having just grabbed a chocolate bar or two from the vending machine when he stopped in front of Neil.

“What happened to your face?” It was quiet, barely a sentence, not big enough of a question to be intrusive or over-stepping.

“I’m a boxer.” That was the lie he’d been using for a few days. “I had a fight a couple days ago.”

You see, Stefan was a name Neil didn’t want to remember, like a bitter memory he forced himself to forget. It was just before Mary’s paranoia began to spiral even worse that it had already been. Stefan was keep your head down, we won’t be here long, give it a week, give it a week. Stefan was sleepless nights, watching his mother sat upright almost all night, eyes on the door, a knife under her pillow. Stefan was you don’t need friends, they’ll drag you down.

Mary didn’t know until the end that they’d been friends, Neil teaching Andrew the little boxing he knew, Andrew teaching Stefan how to keep yourself busy when you needed something to do. There was something about Andrew that made it impossible for him to stay away; he wasn’t a particularly happy kid, but the way he spoke, the way he cared about the fake life Neil had made up, the way he saw Stefan’s life as something he could never have.

“Have you ever thought about kissing a boy your age?” They’d been in Oakland for three weeks, and the two kids had made plans to meet every time Mary was occupied and Andrew was around. Neil didn’t really think to wonder why Andrew was always around. Didn’t he have a family who would miss him being gone all this time? Didn’t he have a home to go to?

“No,” Neil answered honestly. There wasn’t time for thoughts like that. Kisses weren’t signs of affection; kisses were lies, kisses were dangerous, kisses occupied a space in the mind that could be filled with run, run, run.

“Do you think it’s wrong?” Andrew had been swinging on the swing set, his feet dangling from the chipped plastic seat, the creaky chains holding him up. The question was loaded. Behind it was a conversation he’d had with his foster-mom, a slur from his foster-siblings, another hit from his foster-father.

“No,” that was an honest answer too. In his head his answer sounded like I’ve been told all kissing was wrong. But he couldn’t say that. Normal teenagers thought about kissing, and boyfriends, and girlfriends, and worried about how they looked in front of their crush. “Do you?”

“I don’t know.” His words were a sigh. Andrew trusted Stefan in this weird, out of character way. He’d never met anyone who’d been more interested to hear about his life than talk about their own. Of course, half of it was a half-truth, lies weaved into the story of Andrew.

Andrew was the first person who made Neil smile in a very long time. It was foreign hearing himself laugh, a sound reserved for fake interactions with strangers who couldn’t help but prying. Neil trusted him. His honest eyes often burning a hole in his face, on the days when Neil couldn’t bare eye contact. Andrew was a rock that Neil could feel himself becoming more and more attached to, more and more…attracted to? He didn’t know what that feeling felt like, but when he caught himself thinking about what a long hug from him would feel like, or a kiss on the forehead, the cheeks, the nose, the….

It was an impossible thought that Neil kept buried. Until Andrew had a bad day. Until Neil met him in the playground and he was sat underneath the slide, face buried in his knees that were pulled to his chest. Black hood pulled so far forward it almost covered the wet cheeks and puffy eyes he tried to hide. Stefan sat just across from him, the tips of their shoes not quite touching, but Neil rested his open palms on his shoes for Andrew to hold if he needed. He didn’t ask what was wrong.

“You’re my friend?” Andrew asked, half statement, half question. There was no hesitation in Neil’s “Of course.”

Andrew gently weeped, babbling on about wishing he could feel normal, or have a normal family. He wished he could understand himself. He wished he didn’t have to hurt so much. He’d looked up at Neil with his red eyes and wiped the tears from his face with the cuff of his sleeve. “Can I trust you?”

The statement hurt Neil far more than he thought it would. He hated that words spilled out of his mouth, his eyes stinging at the thought of saying what he really wanted to say. His mouth said “You can tell me anything,” when his brain said “I think Stefan dies in a week”.

Andrew told him about how he thought he was gay, and how embarrassed, alone, and ugly he felt to think that way. He didn’t know what normal feelings felt like. He didn’t know what it felt like to kiss someone he actually wanted to kiss. The statement hung in the air like a floating question. Did he…? Andrew had brushed away the thought almost as quickly as Neil did, but not without both their cheeks flushing pink at the unspoken idea. Neil watched as Andrew messed with the strings on his hoodie. Andrew cheered up after a little while, but when Neil realised how long he’d been gone for, he panicked. Instinctively, he pulled Andrew into a hug before running back to the motel room.

Stefan was bad memories, he’d always had to remind himself. Stefan was a mistake, a fuck-up, a vulnerability he would never, ever show again. Stefan was a slap across the face when he came back late. “Where the hell have you been?” Followed by a lie, then another, then another. Neil had only lied to his mother a handful of times in his life, but when it came to Andrew they seemed to slip out of his mouth at an alarming rate. The next time he seen Andrew, his swollen, burst lip barely hidden, Andrew had brushed his fingers across it and sarcastically asked if it was the product of another boxing match. Neil shushed him when he asked if his mother had done it. That was too personal. He was letting Andrew in too far and he was rotting Neil from the inside out. His hardened exterior fell away when he was around Andrew, and boy, was that dangerous. It shattered into a million pieces when they sat at at the top of the jungle-gym and Andrew asked so gently if he could kiss him.

No, no, no. The ghost of his mother’s hands in his hair told him to walk away. The phantom pain of a slap, and a hit, and a deafening lecture about his safety told him to stop letting Andrew in. He knew it was dangerous. He knew it, he knew it, he knew it. So why did his lips automatically curl around the word yes and his heart start pumping a hundred miles a minute? They looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds, minutes, hours, days, until they were both so close they couldn’t see each other anymore. It was only a peck, a playground kiss, but Neil’s stomach flipped. Andrew pulled away as quickly as he’d leaned in. He didn’t look at Neil for the rest of the hour they spent together, but Neil didn’t look at him. That wasn’t to say they each didn’t have to constantly fight a love-struck smile off their faces every few minutes.

Their meetings started to get less frequent after that. Andrew stopped showing up, but instead left little notes carved into the yellow plastic of the slide. ‘R u grossed out? -A’ was the first one he left after their moment’s kiss. All Neil wrote back was ‘Never’. The next time they seen each other in person they sat hidden again in the top of the jungle gym. Neil knew Mary was planning on them moving on in the following days. He couldn’t tell Andrew. Even the thought of it broke his heart. Regardless of the kiss, or kisses, they shared, Andrew had become the closest friend Neil had ever had. Neil had to remind himself more than once that everything Andrew thought he knew about Stefan was a fabrication. They spoke about sexuality again, hands brushing off each other, sometimes intertwined, sometimes resting on the others leg or arm. Andrew asked if Neil was gay, and his face fell when Neil said no, I don’t think so. It took him a moment to add on “I don’t know what I am”. They left kisses on each other’s lips that lingered for hours, for days. The more Neil let Andrew in, the harder it was for him to keep lying to his mother. She began to get suspicious of where he was going when she left him alone.

Even still, Neil didn’t hear when Mary came into the playground the last time he seen Andrew. Andrew had his head rested on his shoulder, their hands intertwined and hidden between their outstretched legs. They’d been talking about something and nothing at the same time. Neil’s stomached bottomed out when he saw her brunette hair and tiny figure step around the rusted green fence. He let go of Andrew’s hand as quickly and as subtly as he could, but he knew it was no use. He didn’t know how long she’d been standing there. Andrew looked into Stefan’s green eyes as Neil stood up, searching, scared. Neil sent him a weak smile. This was the last time he would ever look into those hazel eyes, his light eyebrows furrowed as he watched Neil begin to walk away. Neil had nodded his way, and whispered a frightened ‘See you around’ before he walked over to join Mary. She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards their motel room, already mentally packing their bags. Not before she beat him harder than she ever had before. Neil expected it. But every blow reminded him of Andrew until Andrew was no longer gentle touches and honesty and kisses. Andrew was a kick to the back of the knees as he walked through the motel room door. Andrew was a slap, and another, and another. He was a screaming, crying, angry mother, shoving whatever belongings they owned into their single duffel bag. Andrew was leaving their key at reception at midnight and starting their journey to another town. Andrew wasn’t worth it. Andrew was the swollen ankle he walked on for miles. Andrew was Mary pulling roughly at his blonde hair to dye it black in some random gas station that night. He wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. Neil left Stefan with Andrew in Oakland. He tried to leave the memories there too. Oh, how badly he tried.

The worst part was, Andrew didn’t know that was the last time he would ever see Stefan again. He waited every day for him to come back. Every day came and went and every day he never showed up. Neil didn’t know about that part, you see. Neil thought Andrew would forget about Stefan like a childhood crush, thrown away, moved on to the next cute boy who listened to him talk. They shared a thought, though, drilling the regret and shame into their minds. He wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it.

(Part 2)

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

[bangtanloverboys]

sweet sugar // ksj

summary - losing your virginity to a sugar daddy wasn’t how you imagined your first time playing out, but you’re ready and willing to do it. thing is you don’t know how to break it to your sugar daddy that you’re a virgin

pairing - sugar daddy!seokjin x virgin male!reader

genre - smut; sugar daddy au

word count - 4.4k

warnings - age gap (both are over the age of consent), virgin/inexperienced!reader, top!seokjin, bottom!reader, sub!reader, loss of virginity, dom!seokjin, throat fucking, sir kink, ass eating, anal sex (duh), anal fingering, overstimulation, dirty talk, passing out after sex, big coin flip tho now it’s very soft sex, very vanilla

author’s note - i want more gay stuff so here we go

You couldn’t believe you were doing this. Yet here you were, practically shaking in your shoes as you stared at the busy building. Taking a deep breath, you moved one foot in front of the other and pushed open the door to the hotel.

While being a sugar baby wasn’t that bad of an idea, you quite enjoyed getting paid for your company. You did however put off having sex with your sugar daddy because you were practically a virgin, having never really had sex before (unless you count a really bad handjob given to you by a girl when you were very very confused). It wasn’t like you did it on purpose. Being 23 years old and still a virgin, you just never got around to it. Getting paid wasn’t the way you saw yourself losing it, but here you are. 

Thing is you were doing pretty okay up until a few months ago. You got laid off on your job, your landlady sold the building so your rent was going to increase, then on top of all that with the incoming semester you needed a way to pay for your classes. Struggling to make ends meet, you signed up for a sugar baby website. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of crusty old guys on the site but to your surprise quite a handful of quite handsome and successful men that definitely caught your eye. Min Suga, Vante, to name a few but they didn’t seem like good possibilities for you as one wanted a dominant partner (definitely not you) and the other had a thing for feet (a hard pass, no matter how much you needed cash). You were about to give up when you came across him. 

The cool air of the hotel washed over you as you entered the upscale building. Tightly gripping onto your overnight bag, You glanced around the lobby, looking for the man who’s been keeping you afloat. You spotted him sitting in a love seat, flipping through some tech magazine. Stopping right beside him, you cleared your throat to catch his attention. He looked up at you and you still couldn’t believe that he was real. He had dark hair that was pushed back, exposing his forehead; beautiful plump lips that you had your mind spinning for days. 

Kim Seokjin, your sugar daddy. 

He contacted you first, saying he was interested in you and wanted to get to know you. You met a few times, just talking and getting to know each other before officially entering an agreement. He’d given you an allowance, and a little something extra for each time you went on an event with him as a plus one. There were however some guidelines: you couldn’t have sex with anyone, keep a healthy and balanced diet, and to be honest with him. 

Seokjin mentioned a few times that while sex wasn’t a requirment for your arrangment, it would be a little extra sugar on top of your company. At first he gave you the option to decide whether or not to say no and to your surprise, you said yes. You didn’t have any expectations of how your first time would go down, sex was sex. 

The honesty rule you did a bit twist because you still have yet to tell him of your virginity. And you were nervous, how do you tell the sugar daddy that wants to pay you for sex that you have no experience in the bedroom? If you did tell him, what would be his reaction? Would he be mad? Would he want to call off the agreement all together? So you twisted it a bit to easy your guilty conscience. It’s evading the truth, so unless he directly asks you about your virginity, you don’t have to tell him.

Tonight however, was the night he had asked you to meet him at a hotel. You asked for what and he responded, to put it bluntly: “I want to fuck that goregous ass of yours now”. Swallowing any nerves you might have, you said yes and followed his instructions to prep yourself and for the night ahead.

Soon as Seokjin laid eyes on you, he let out a quick smile. Dropping the magazine onto the table as he stood up, “Y/N, pleasure to see you again.”

“I hope you weren’t waiting too long,” you scratched the back of your neck nervously. 

“Nonsense,” he dismissed the notion as he picked up a suitcase from the chair next to him. “I checked us in a few minutes ago, so it wasn’t much. Please, follow me.” With that he swiftly led you over to the elevator. It wasn’t long before the doors opened up, the two of you alongside a handful of other guests filed into the small space. Everyone pressed their floor, including Seokjin who pressed the button to the second highest floor, and the ascension began. 

Your heart was pounding against your chest as you stood next to him. He kept his eyes trained in front of him, not looking at you as you stole quick glances at him. As the numbers climbed higher, the elevator got less and less crowded. About a few floors away from your stop, you felt a large hand rest on your bum. Your eyes darted to the man beside you and you saw a small smirk on his lips. The last of the people exited the floor right below yours and he gave your ass a quick squeeze as the doors closed and the lift went up the next floor.

You felt all the heat rush to your face as the doors opened and he removed his hand and led you down the hallway towards the room you’ll be staying in. You waited behind him quietly as he pulled out the keycard and opened the door, revealing a very fancy suite. Walking into the room, he sets his suitcase on the desk before turning to you.

“I’ll ask you one last time officially if you’d like to stop here,” he started, “you have the right to say no or stop at any point afterwards. But I wanted to make this clear.”

“I want this.” You said as you watched the smirk appear on his lips once again. 

“Good. Are you familiar with the color system?” He asked as he turned to face his case, opening it. 

“Green is good, yellow is move on, red is stop.” You recited, knowing this was a common practice. 

“Excellent,” he nodded as he messed around with the contents of his case, pulling out a bottle of lube. “You followed my instructions from earlier for prep?”

“Hmm,” you nodded.

“I need words, Y/N.” His tone of voice was stern, commanding. You weren’t going to lie, it made your knees a bit weak. 

“Yes.”

“Yes, sir.” He turned to face you, a brow raised. 

“Yes, sir.” You repeated, the heat returning to your face and ears as he approached you, putting a hand on your cheek. 

“Good boy,” he said as you leaned into his touch. He removed his hand then made his way over to the bed, sitting down facing you. “Now, be a good boy and strip for me.” 

You felt very small under his hard gaze, but taking a breath, you started to remove your clothes, one by one. Seokjin palmed himself as he watched you, the sight before you had all the blood rushing to your cock and hardening as you removed your clothes. 

Once completely naked, he patted his thighs. “Come sit on my lap.” He ordered, you nodded with a ‘yes, sir’ and quickly seated yourself on him. The feeling of his fine clothes against your bare skin sent shivers down your spine. He placed one hand at the back of your neck and pulled you closer. You closed your eyes in anticipation, but he paused before your lips brushed against his. His other hand slid down your front, resting on the base of you. “Your hard already? What’ve you been thinking about?” His breath fanned against your mouth.

“Y-you, sir.” You managed out, holding back from bucking into his hand.

“Oh, have you? What do you imagine I’m doing?” His plump lips moving away from your mouth and kissing down your jaw, nibbling at your flesh. 

“Fuck- I- I imagine you fingering me, filling me up.” The confession flooded out, you’ll admit you’ve dreamed this happening a few times but never did you actually imagine it actually happening. 

“Really? What a dirty boy you are.” He ran his hand down your length, this time you couldn’t help yourself and let your hips rut against his hand. “Ah, no. Be a good boy and wait.” His hand found its way into your hair, tugging on it.

“Yes, sir.” You rasped out as Seokjin dragged his mouth along the length of your neck, all while squeezing your cock. The stimulation had you let out a breathy moan, that was quickly silenced by him finally kissing you. As you suspected, his lips were soft as they moved against yours, but there was an underlying roughness to it all. A quick flick of his wrist and you were gasping into his mouth, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue in. 

As quick as the kiss was, he pulled away, causing you to frown. You leaned forward to kiss him again but he pulled away. “Nuh uh,” he teased. “I’ve played nice long enough.” You watch as his eyes darken. “Get on your knees, dirty boy.” 

The order has you stiffening, but you slowly slide off his lap and onto the floor. His legs spread open before you, with shaking hands you went to his belt and started to undo his pants. If he sensed your nervousness, he didn’t say anything. Pants undone, you started to drag his slacks down, his erection being freed of it’s confinements and you stop around his thighs.

You took a moment to stare at his dick for a moment and you swear to god it’s the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. It almost makes you feel slightest bit jealous about your own, but you push that thought aside as you bring your hand to trace along his veins. He shuddered above you and that had your cock twitching. You gave him light touches as you admired it until his hand clamped around your wrist.

“Be a good boy and put it in your mouth,” he growled as he pulled away his hand and leaned back, waiting for you. You nod, bringing his tip to your lips as you wrap them around him, giving an experimental suck. Seokjin groans above you, his hand threading in your hair. “More.” He sighs and you let him push you down his length, you gag around him as he hits the back of your throat. Stabling your hands on his thighs, you just follow your gut instinct and start to bob your head. “Fuck.” He pulled your head back and motioned for you to get back on your knees. “I’m gonna fuck that pretty mouth of yours, you got that?”

“Yes, sir.” You nod as you lean back, and watch him remove the last of his clothing, tossing it elsewhere in the room. You’re stunned into silence as Seokjin stands before you, fully naked and you swear you might faint. 

He chuckles above you as you look up at him. “Tap my thigh three times to stop, okay?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good boy,” he praised as he held his cock in his hand, lightly hitting it against your lips. “Open.” He instructed, as you did such, he again hit the head of his dick against your muscle. You wrapped your lips around him once again, and waited for him to push into your mouth. His hands find purchase in your hair, keeping you still as he started to shallowly thrust into your mouth. 

A million thoughts started to run through your head, were you doing this right? Was he enjoying it? Was there anything else you were supposed to be doing? You were so caught up in your head, you were forgetting to breathe and as he hit the back of your throat once again you started gagging. Tears in your eyes, you started to tap his thigh. 

As promised, he immediately pulled himself from your mouth and got on the floor next to you as you coughed. He softly patted your back, soothing you and calming your body from what was happening. 

“Color?” He asked once you stopped coughing.

“Yellow,” your voice was rough as you spoke, but still alright. You looked up to Seokjin, hoping what happened didn’t damper the mood or anything. He simply helped you back to your feet and guided you to the bed. You watched as he pulled a water bottle from the little hotel fridge and opened it, handing it to you. You took a few gulps of the water before handing it back to him where he placed it on the bedside table In the silence of the room and being naked, you felt strange and the urge to cover your body.

Seokjin sat down next to you. “You did good, do you want to continue or want to stop?” He asked, looking at you with concern.

“Continue, I’m okay.” You gave a nervous chuckle as he nodded. 

He stood again and you watched as he resumed his role. You watched as he picked up the bottle of lube and placed it on the bed. “If you’re okay, on your hands and knees. Ass up.” He ordered and you quickly scrambled to the position, feeling completely exposed to him. You sat closed your eyes, trying to calm your heart that was trembling in anticipation. 

Gently, you felt his hands rest on either side of your ass, spreading your cheeks. You groaned as you felt him start to pepper your back side with kisses. Slowly but surely, he started ghosting over your rim. He licked a broad stripe over your hole, causing a moan to erupt from your throat again. You swear you could feel him smirk against your ass as he started to eat you out. 

“Hnnghh f-fuck!” You keened as pleasure started to build up in your gut. 

“You like that, huh? You like that little boy?” Seokjin taunted as he playfully bit the flesh of your ass. 

“Fuc-k yes!” You managed to get out, fists closing around the covers.

A loud smack echoed in the room, heat flooded on your thigh. “Yes, what?” He barked.

“Yes, sir! Yes, sir, it feels- sooo good.” You whined as he muttered something you couldn’t hear as he continued to lick and probe at your hole. With each stroke, you felt your cock getting harder and harder, boarding on painful as it continued to be neglected. While he didn’t order you to not touch yourself, you wanted nothing more than to jerk yourself off, finally reaching the euphoric bliss. But seeing how he reacted to you not calling him sir, you knew to keep your hands forward.

Seokjin pulled away from you, blowing lightly at your wet hole. You mewled at the action, but as you realized he was pulling away from you, you started to pout.

“Aww, you a needy boy? Don’t worry, I won’t be gone for long.” You heard him speak as he opened something, you turned to look over your shoulder to see him opening the bottle of lube. He started applying some to his fingers when he noticed your starring. “Eyes front!” 

“Sorry, sir!” You quipped as you moved your head to face in front of you again.

“Mmm, normally I’d punish you for such behavior. But seeing how it’s only the first time,” you freeze, but then realize he was talking about you together, “I’ll let it slide.” He chuckled as his fingers started to press against your rim, his first finger slipped in no problem. You moaned as his finger started to slowly move in and out of you, occasionally pushing at your sides to stretch you out. The burn of the stretching hurt at first, but as Seokjin continued, the pain slowly morphed into pleasure. “You ready for me? Huh, are you ready for my cock, little boy?”

“Yes! Yes, sir. I’m ready for your cock, please please please give me your cock.” You practically sob out, wanting nothing more than to finally have him inside you. He chuckled behind you, as he pulled his fingers away and you heard the familiar click of the lube bottle. 

“Look at me,” Seokjin called to you. You turned to look him in the eyes. “Are you ready? Do you still want this?”

“Yes,” You nod. With your consent, he pressed his tip into your hole and inch by inch started filling you up. Simultaneously, you both let out groans as he fully sheathed himself inside you. “So . .big. . fuck- sir!” 

“Fuck, your so tight.” He groaned as he started to pull back out and thrust back in. “Fu-ck!” He quickly found a pace, fucking you as you held onto the covers so tightly your knuckles turned white. 

As Seokjin thrust feverently into you, you could feel the pleasure start to build up again in your gut. Nothing ever compared to the amount of pleasure coursing through your veins as you felt yourself get closer and closer. 

“Fuck, sir, I’m-I’m close!” You gasped out. Soon as the words left your mouth, he started to piston his hips faster into you, hitting you deeper and deeper. He leaned forward, wrapping his hand around your neglected cock, running his hand up and down, faster and faster.

“You’ve been such a good boy, come for me.” He praised you as he continued to fuck you into the bed. 

With that said, your gut tightened and your vision went white, your cum spilling all over the bed. You cried out as Seokjin continued to thrust into you, chasing his own high. Unfamiliar with the feeling of him continuing to use you as his own fucktoy, you started twitching and crying, overwhelmed with stimulation. Tears threatened to spill as he pounded into your ass relentlessly. You don’t know how much longer he continued to fuck you but soon as you felt him come inside you, painting your insides white, you felt your eyes roll into the back of your head.

The next thing you know something wet is being pressed to your forehead. Groaning softly, you open your eyes to see a concerned Seokjin above you, wet towel in hand.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked as he pulled the towel away from you.

“Hmm, what happened?” You muttered as you looked at him.

“Well, uh,” he wet his lips, trying to hold back a smile. “You passed out.”

“I what?!” You sat up quickly, your eyes practically bulging out of your skull. Did you really do that?

“Hey hey, it’s fine.” He placed his hands on your shoulders, holding you still. “You were only out for a few minutes, are you okay though?”

“I’m good,” you nodded. “A little sore, but it’s all good.” You chuckled, trying to keep calm at the fact that you fainted after having sex for the first time ever. 

“That’s good,” he responded, a smile pulling on his lips. “I’ll admit, that was a first for me. Having someone faint.” He chuckled.

“Yeah. . me too. . .” You returned the laugh.

“You passing out like that isn’t a regular occurrence then?” He quipped, raising a brow at you. 

Fuck. Quick think of something to change the topic! “I uh, wouldn’t know-” Fuck, don’t confess!

Seokjin’s eyes were laced with worry at your disclosure. “What do you mean by that?”

“I uh, it’s nothing.” You wave your hand, trying to dismiss the question. 

His hand clamped against your wrist and you locked eyes with him. “Y/N, be honest with me.” His was stern, the gaze alone had anxiety bubbling up in your stomach. 

“That. . was my first time. . .” You broke eye contact, looking away from him, not wanting to see his reaction. You wanted the ground to consume you right then and there, ending your embarrassment.

“That. . .” You heard him start, “was your first time ever having sex?” Squeezing your eyes shut, you gave a singular nod. “Why didn’t you tell me?! I would’ve taken a completely different route! I would’ve done more to make you feel comfortable-”

“Seokjin!” You cut him off, taking his hands in yours. His ramblings set your nerves on fire. “It’s alright. I liked it.”

He pulled his hand from yours and cupped your cheek. “Please allow me to make it up to you.”

If there was a heaven, you swear you died and went to it by now. “Okay. . .sir!” you quickly tagged the title on at the end.

“Shhh, no sir now.” He whispered as he brought your face to his. “It’s just Seokjin right now.” With that said, he presses his lips to yours in a soft kiss. Moving slowly, taking his time with you. With his other hand, he led you to lean back down on the bed, your head landing amongst the pillows. His hand traces down your side as he movies to climb on top of you, not ever breaking the kiss. Hand on your thigh, he gave you a quick squeeze, causing you to gasp. Taking the moment to move his tongue past your lips and to explore your mouth. Groaning into the kiss, your hands go to his head, pulling on his silky dark locks.

He pulls away from you, his eyes dark with lust as his hair hangs around him. You must be making a face because he’s smirking down at you. He moves to press kisses down your throat and chest, the sight alone had your blood rushing down once again to your dick. You know Seokjin could feel you harden against him, judging by how you could practically feel him smile as he kisses down your chest. 

“God, fuck!” You moaned as he pressed another kiss to your pubic bone. 

“That feel good, hmm?” He asked as he looked at you. “You want me to suck you off? You did so well for me earlier, let me treat you even better.”

“Please please please, yes.” You begged as he finally took your length in his hand and gave you an experimental pump, whimpers erupting from your throat. He finally wrapped his lips around your tip, swirling your pre-cum around with his tongue. Whatever words left your mouth were incomprehensible as he took more and more of you into his mouth. His hand moved to play with your balls, giving them a playful squeeze. He prepared for your reaction as you were about to buck into his mouth but he kept his free hand firmly planted on your stomach, keeping you still. 

 His hand slid further down, back to your abused hole. It was now that you suddenly became very aware of the fact you were leaking cum onto the bed. Seokjin didn’t seem to mind because he just slid his finger back into you. Whimpers emitted from your throat as he pumped his finger in and out of you. Obscene squelching noises filled the room, causing heat to rise to your cheeks once again as you realize that was you and your noise. 

“Fuck,” he moaned as he pulled away from you. “The sounds you make are driving me wild, baby.” He peppered kisses over the tops of your thighs. He managed to slip another finger into your hole, opening you up again no problem. “Are you ready again, huh?”

“Yes, please.” You whined as he pulled away, grabbing the bottle of lube once again. You watched as he squirted a good amount onto his fingers, getting his cock ready. He watched you with dark eyes as his fist went up and down his length. 

Seokjin pulled your legs apart, settling in between them, his slick member prodding at your entrance. Slowly by surely, he started to push back into you, this time with a lot more ease as you were already spent out. But you wanted this. You wanted him. He repeated the shallow thrusts again, each time hitting everything just right. 

“Hnngh fuck, please harder.” You pleaded, wanting to go faster.

“Shh, soon baby. Soon.” He whispered as he captured your lips with his again with a kiss, swallowing any noises you make. As promised, he started to pick up speed again, not as hard as before though. When he pulls away, he gages your each and every reaction, watching you as you squirm in pleasure. 

Impatient now, you wrapped your legs around his waist, forcing him deeper into you. Groaning against your neck, he nipped at your neck, a playful punishment for your behavior. He got the message to go faster, positioning his hips to fuck you harder and deeper once again. His hand once again moved to your cock, squeezing the base of it. 

“Come on baby, you can do it. Come for me.” His breath was hot against your ear.

A few more thrusts and you were coming all over yourself, painting your chest white. Seokjin followed soon after, filling up your ass with his seed once again. He pulled you in with another sloppy kiss, teeth clashing against one another as he collapsed on top of you.

“That’s how it should’ve gone.”

You bark out a laugh at that. “That was so cheesy, oh my god.” Rolling your eyes at him.

He just chuckled as he sat up, pulling out of you. “Let me get another towel, clean us up.” You watched him as he walked away from the bed and towards the bathroom. He was back in a few minutes, him already wiped clean. You watched him as he diligently cleaned up all of your’s and his cum from your chest and your spent hole. Once all cleaned up, he tossed the towel somewhere else in the room. “Are you doing alright now?” 

“Yes, thank you.” You gave him a small smile as he nodded and started to pull back the covers. Tossing away the cum soaked top cover. He settled himself next to you, you tried to give him some space but your lower half was so sore you could barely move. He merely chuckled at you as he wrapped and arm around you and brought you close to him.

“Remind me to give you a little something extra tomorrow morning,” He sighed as he closed his eyes.

“Seokjin-”

“Don’t refuse me, Y/N. Consider it an extra bonus, for letting me be your first time.” He cracked open an eye at you, making sure you don’t fight back.

“Yes, sir.”

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

For the prompts and because now I need it: Willex + Kangaroo 💕

- sunsetsandcurves

Okay! So, I know your official prompt was Willex, but I decided to do Reggie Outsider POV cause I don’t write him enough, and then it... got away from me... And I accidentally wrote Julie/Luke/Reggie again (and apparently I’m only capable of writing in Reggie’s POV if he’s pining...) but I also wrote he/they Willie on purpose this time! Anyway, hopefully you like this, but if it’s not satisfactory just drop another ask in my box and I’ll write a part two that actually has more Alex and Willie in it.

Also I kind of inadvertently referenced your last Willex flower ficlet in this lol. Anyway, enjoy :)

--

“Hey, Hotdog. Kangaroo.”

Reggie’s head snaps up from where he’s been peering suspiciously at a wagon of precariously-stacked apples, trying to see if he can knock them over with his mind (so far, he’s been unsuccessful). Across the aisle, Willie has just plucked a bundle of radishes (bushel of radishes? Reggie’s not well-versed in the collective nouns of vegetables) off a table and hands them to Alex, trailing obediently along behind them. Alex rolls his eyes, stuffs the radishes in his fanny pack, and leaves a couple dollars on the table. 

They’re all at a Farmers’ Market by Julie’s school. She had to go to do research for an Economics project, and she graciously let her ghosts boys (and Willie) tag along. They’re having one of their “visibility to lifers is hard” days, so (as Willie has continuously reminded them) they could probably steal whatever produce they want and get away with it. But Julie gave them each a stern talk and twenty dollars at the entrance, so Alex has put it upon himself to pay for everything Willie tries to convince him to smuggle away in his fanny pack.

Alex and Willie move on to a station selling flowers, and Reggie abandons his apple staring contest to bound along behind them. He hopes Willie will say again what Reggie thinks he just said, because Reggie might have just imagined it but he doesn’t know how to ask.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long. Willie plucks a pretty purple flower out of a pile and tucks it behind Alex’s ear (Alex wrinkles his nose out of instinct, but it’s not like he still has hayfever as a ghost). Then, Willie grabs a handful of seed packets, stuffs them in Alex’s hands, and says, “Kangaroo.”

Reggie’s mouth drops open. So they did say it! He scans his surroundings, craning his neck to see all the way to the entrance of the Farmers’ Market, but there’s no sign of an Australian marsupial anywhere. Not that Reggie had really been expecting to see one in the middle of Los Angeles, California, but why else would Willie be talking about them unless he’d seen one?

Reggie spins in a full circle until he catches sight of Luke and Julie over by the baked goods. He spares one last glance back at Alex and Willie (who seem to be bickering over the ethics of stealing flower petals out of the trash now) and then poofs across the market, appearing next to Luke and Julie by a stand selling bread and cookies.

“Hey, Reg,” Luke says without looking up. He’s got a chocolate chip cookie in one hand and a frosted sugar cookie in the other, and he’s looking back and forth between them like they’re the players of an extremely entertaining tennis match.

Reggie shoots Julie a questioning look. She rolls her eyes fondly and explains, “I told him he can only have one cookie. He’s been trying to decide for the last twenty minutes.”

“I’m narrowing it down,” Luke insists.

Julie laughs, and the sound sends a burst of fluttery happiness through Reggie’s chest. He grins, and almost forgets what he came over here to say in the first place, until Julie says, “Anyway. What have you been getting yourself up to, Reggie?”

He rocks back and forth on his heels. “Not too much. Bought some kiwis. Had an altercation with an apple cart. Mostly just third-wheeled Alex and Willie.”

He tries not to sound too bitter about it, but he’s not sure it works. He loves his friends, so much, and of course he wants them to be happy, but he can’t deny he feels a little left out sometimes, when they all pair off for date night, or hold hands on the sidewalk, and Reggie’s just… there.

(Part of him wants to find someone for himself, so that they can be three couples instead of two. Another, much more repressed, part of him wants there to still only be two couples, just… one of them has three people in it. He doesn’t know if that’s something he’s allowed to want, though, or even something that’s okay to think about, so he tries not to, and he doesn’t say a word about it to anyone, especially not Luke or Julie.)

“Aw, Reg,” Julie says, drawing him back to the present. She puts a hand on his arm, and Reggie beams, hoping he’s not blushing too visibly. “Well, I don’t know if third-wheeling us is any better, but you’re welcome to hang out!”

Reggie deflates. Right. Still third-wheeling. Because they’re still LukeAndJulie. And Reggie’s just there.

He pastes on a grin and deftly changes the subject. “Anyway, I wanted to ask you guys—you haven’t seen a kangaroo around here anywhere, have you?”

Luke finally looks up from his cookies to give Reggie one of his patented Hey, Reg, you’re a dumbass looks (they used to be insulting, but considering Reggie’s been on the receiving end of them since literally 1978, he’s used to them by now).

Julie, ever the angel, just settles for a politely confused frown and repeats, “Kangaroo?”

“Yeah,” Reggie says. “Willie kept saying stuff to Alex about a kangaroo, but I didn’t know if they meant, like, a real kangaroo or a stuffed one or something, but I didn’t see either, so I figured I’d ask you guys.”

Luke frowns thoughtfully. “Are you sure it’s not a gay thing? Maybe it’s a gay thing.”

Julie whacks him with her purse. “It is not a—who are you?” While Luke rubs his arm with a pout, she asks Reggie, “What was the context for this?”

“There wasn’t any!” Reggie insists. “He just kept handing Alex stuff to put in his fanny pack and saying, ‘Kangaroo.’”

Julie pulls her phone out of her back pocket, muttering, “Hold up. Maybe…” She types for a second, Luke attempting to slip both cookies in her purse while she’s distracted (she swats his hand away without looking up), and then exclaims, “Here we go!” and holds her phone out for Reggie to see. “In some countries, that belt bag Alex wears is referred to as a kangaroo! Cause it’s a pouch, I guess.”

“Definitely a better name than fanny pack,” Luke muses, guiding Julie by the wrist to turn the phone around for him. They bend their heads together, giggling over whatever article Julie found, and Reggie’s enthusiasm fades into a hardened pit in his stomach.

He mutters an awkward goodbye and poofs back across the market, not bothering to wait for Luke and Julie to notice.

An hour later, Reggie returns to the bakery stand and buys the last chocolate chip cookie (since Luke eventually chose the frosted one). When he catches up with his friends at the exit, he sidles up between Alex and Willie, holds the cookie out, and says, “Hey, Alex! Can you please put this in your…” He pauses dramatically and winks at Willie. “Kangaroo?”

“Oh, my god,” Alex sighs, dropping his head into his hands.

“Eyyy!” Willie cheers, giving Reggie an enthusiastic fist bump. “I knew it’d catch on!”

Reggie grins. He’s okay being the third wheel on good days like this. He just loves his friends so much.

--

Taglist: @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles @nickalicious @reggiescrookedteeth @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @spidergirl0325 @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @cest-la-vie-de-la-lee @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @sunsetsandcurves 

[mashkaroom]

Lengthy analysis of Holes, as promised!. This will include spoilers, which will be marked. Just gonna go through the book and the philosophy/themes/connections I caught onto this time around. Stuff discussed, in order: connections to Camus, on the question of children’s books, systems, cycles, and why Stanley is gay and jewish 😏

Camus:

The first and perhaps most obvious set of texts/theories it makes sense to put Holes in conversation with is the works of Albert Camus. Holes starts out with a description of the sun and the heat, which readers of the Stranger will remember are major themes there. The heat continues to be a prominent part of the story, though thematically, it functions very differently in the two books. In The Stranger it primarily represents the indifference of the universe (or at least so claim a ton of sources and I’m inclined to agree) and the lack of control we exert over our own lives while in Holes it’s basically the opposite of that. The heat and drought is implied to be a semi-divine punishment for a past injustice and, moreover, the elite adults of the camp have air conditioning and access to shade: the sun does not affect everyone equally in Holes as it does in The Stranger (though even that is debatable: I don’t think this was Camus’s intent, but it’s notable that it’s only the white englishman who’s driven to murder by the sun. This could certainly be read as critique of colonizers who cannot/refuse to coexist with the land and environment and how the indigenous population always suffers for it, but I digress). The other Camusian parallel one is immediately inclined to draw is that, of course, of Sysiphus: there’s the repetitive and seemingly meaningless act of digging holes not to mention that carrying stuff up a mountain is both thematically and plot-wise a very important part of Holes. But, once again, it is eventually revealed that both acts do carry an inherent meaning. Holes does not present the image of an uncaring universe: on the contrary, destiny and semi-divine influence plays a major role. The story may start out with a series of seemingly random and inherently meaningless events, but as the story progresses, people, actions, items, and events become increasingly imbued with meaning. In the Holes universe, one must imagine Sisyphus redeemed, not through the act of rolling the stone but by rebelling against it. I have difficulty imagining that Sachar was not thinking of Camus while writing Holes, or, at the very least, that if he encountered Camus afterwards, he must have been struck by the similarities. I don’t know if there was a specific intent in creating a story so embroiled in Camusian absurdism, especially since the target readership is (allegedly) children who almost certainly are not recognizing specific allusions to Camus, so perhaps the similarities are purely aesthetic — after all, everything that is nominally similar does play quite different thematic roles. However, I would never pass up the opportunity to talk about the myth of sisyphus and I think placing Holes in dialogue with Camus can raise some interesting questions about the nature of meaning.

Is Holes a children’s book?

Speaking, though, of the target audience, the audience for this book is in fact children. What about it makes it a children’s book makes it difficult to say: the protagonists are children (and, I would argue, it is not a coming of age story, despite the claims of one piece of lit crit about Holes in which i disagreed with almost every claim made, but i digress once more) and the writing style is fairly simple: you can read it with a second-grader’s vocabulary. Also, of course, being a children’s book doesn’t (and crucially shouldn’t!) mean that it’s lacking in depth and complexity. However, I think most thematically rich children’s books tend to be quite allegorical. The Little Prince is a good example. Holes is just way too specific for its sole market to be children. It’s either intended to be read by multiple generations at once or for child readers to return to it as an adult. It addresses themes of racism (and not just generic racism, anti-black racism in the reconstruction south), homelessness, intergenerational trauma. and the modern carceral system. These are social critiques that will probably go over most kids’ heads (certainly over mine). However, the themes of the text are not inaccessible for children. You don’t have to understand the particular history of the US criminal justice system or even that Sachar is making a comparison to anything specific to get that the system that he’s portraying is unjust. Knowing the real-world context just adds another layer to the text. Holes also has one of the hallmarks of children’s books that I really like, which is a particular type of absurdism that the child characters come up against. This always rang true to me as a kid and well into my teens, when you start understanding that your life is controlled by some set of systems, but you haven’t quite gotten what those systems are or why and how they came about. Like nowadays, I can say “we did this in elementary school because of a state law, that because of a federal law, that because of the history of puritanism, and this because we got a grant for it”, but as a kid nobody tells you these things or really even cares to explain why the rules are as they are, and the systems that govern your world, often with no small degree of violence and almost always with an inherent disregard for your agency, are ineffable and slippery, and good children’s books capture this really well (Series of Unfortunate Events is probably my favorite example of this, where a secret organization that everything is implicated in and more more tragicomic details about it get revealed until the Baudelaire children find themselves to some degree members with mixed feelings is honestly an excellent coming-of-age allegory. oh, not to mention the constant conflict with bureacracy. god that series is so good, everyone read it). Back to Holes, Sachar weaves the more fantastical ineffable elements in with real-world issues so neatly. Stanley’s family is allegedly cursed, which is why Stanley keeps having bad luck, but he also lives in systemic poverty, which is also why he keeps having bad luck. Sachar eschews neither the allegorical elements common in children’s literature nor the more direct systemic critiques more often found in YA and adult lit, and it creates a really unique vibe. I think the story really benefited from having a children’s author, and I would love to see more authors in both children’s and adult lit do this!

Systems

Speaking of the systems, this book is surprisingly radical. Like it’s full-on an abolitionist text. The law is pretty much only ever presented as adversarial, both in the story of Stanley’s present time, and in Kate and Sam’s story. It’s implied if not stated repeatedly that Stanley and the other boys are pretty much victims of circumstance and have been imprisoned pretty much for the crime of being poor. The hole-digging is shown to be cruel and bad for the boys. It’s noted that in digging the holes Stanley’s heart hardened along with his muscles. This is of course very evocative of the system of retributive justice we have in America. Additionally, Camp Greenlake’s existence can ultimately be traced back to an act of racist violence, also in close parallel with our prison system. Hole’s stance on justice is very restorative. Punishments are never shown to work: only through righting the wrongs can true justice be achieved. Moreover, Holes even gives the opportunity for redemption to a minor antagonist when [minor spoiler] Derrick Dunne, the kid who was bullying Stanley in the beginning ultimately plays a small role in helping Stanley regain his freedom [spoiler over].

Cycles

Cycles are a major theme in holes, and Sachar creates a unique temporality to support this theme. There are 3 interwoven stories: that of Stanley’s in the present date, that of Stanley’s ancestors, and that of the land that Stanley is on (though, as I will delve into later, it’s at least a little implied that Stanley is descended from the characters in that story also). The stories from the past reach in and touch the present. You can’t untangle the past from the future. Looking at this again through a social justice lens, it could be seen as fairly progressive commentary on what to do with regards to America’s past wrongs. The past cannot and will not be left in the past: it must be dealt with on an ongoing basis. Even the warden, the greatest villain of Stanley’s story has a sympathetic moment at the end where it’s revealed that she, too, is stuck in a cycle of intergenerational trauma she can’t break free from.

Stanley is gay and jewish

Ok, I will now talk about how Stanley is a queer Jew, but this entire section will be riddled with spoilers, so read the book first and then come back!

A queer Jew?? i hear you ask. You’re just projecting. Yes, 100%. However, I think that interpreting Stanley as both these things adds to the thematic richness of the text. Let’s start with the Jewish bit: it’s not explicitly stated that Stanley is Jewish, but his great-great grandfather is a nerd-boy Latvian immigrant with the last name Yelnats, and his great-grandfather was a stockbrocker, so, like, ya know. Louis Sachar is also himself Jewish, as was the director of the movie, who cast Jews in the roles of Stanley and his family (dyk Shia LaBeouf is Jewish?? i did not), so I know I’m not the only one interpreting it this way. And honestly, does it not resemble the book of exodus quite a bit? They escape what is pretty much a form of slavery and wander in the desert. Sploosh resembles the well of Miriam, and then they ascend up a mountain to the “thumb of god”, perhaps in a parallel to Moses receiving the commandments. Is this a useful way to look at the text? Who knows. But what I think we do get from reading Stanley as Jewish is a more nuanced discussion of privilege and solidarity. If Stanley and his ancestors are Jewish (or at least Jew-ish), then what placed the curse upon his family (and, we see, Madame Zeroni’s family isn’t doing so great either) is the breaking of solidarity between oppressed people. But also, the fact that you are also marginalized does not wash you of the responsibility to other marginalized groups. I don’t think Sachar intended it this way, because I think he probably would have talked about it more if he had, but I would say this book can be read as a call to the American Jewish community to take an active role in forging solidarity with other marginalized groups and actively righting the wrong you, your ancestors, and your community wrought upon them.

Now, why do I think Stanley and Zero are gay? Before I go into how it augments the text thematically, I bring to your attention this passage.

Two nights later, Stanley lay awake staring up at the star-filled sky. He was too happy to fall asleep. 

He knew he had no reason to be happy. He had heard or read somewhere that right before a person freezes to death, he suddenly feels nice and warm. He wondered if perhaps he was experiencing something like that. 

It occurred to him that he couldn't remember the last time he felt happiness. It wasn't just being sent to Camp Green Lake that had made his life miserable. Before that he'd been unhappy at school, where he had no friends, and bullies like Derrick Dunne picked on him. No one liked him, and the truth was, he didn't especially like himself. 

He liked himself now.

 He wondered if he was delirious. He looked over at Zero sleeping near him. Zero's face was lit in the starlight, and there was a flower petal in front of his nose that moved back and forth as he breathed. It reminded Stanley of something out of a cartoon. Zero breathed in, and the petal was drawn up, almost touching his nose. Zero breathed out, and the petal moved toward his chin. It stayed on Zero's face for an amazingly long time before fluttering off to the side. 

Stanley considered placing it back in front of Zero's nose, but it wouldn't be the same.

Girl, I’m sorry, that’s gay as shit! It’s such tremendous tenderness, not to mention the traditionally romantic imagery of moonlight and the flower petal. There’s also the non-romantic aspects. Stanley’s inexplicable happiness and suddenly liking himself evokes, for me, at least, the experience of coming out to yourself, of realizing who you are. Later in this chapter, Stanley contemplates running away with Zero despite the fact that it would make them lifelong outlaws. This book, remember, was written in 1998, and homosexuality was decriminalized in 2003, and the book takes place in Texas. It would have been, if anything, even more evocative of gayness when it was published. Now as to how this increases the thematic richness of the text: obviously, in carrying Hector up to the thumb, giving him water, and singing the lullaby, he redeems the wrong done by his ancestor, after which his family’s luck immediately changed. However, after Hector and Zero return to camp Greenlake, rain falls there for the first time. What was redeemed here? Remember that earlier on we learn that what caused the drought was the fact that Sam the onion man (who was black) was murdered for kissing Kate Barlow (who was white) — so what would a [post-factum wronging of that right look like? Zero, as we remember, is black while Stanley is white, so them being in a romantic relationship would be a successful interracial relationship to redeem the one Kate and Sam weren’t able to have. It’s also, as I said earlier, implied that Stanley is descended from Kate Barlow on his mother’s side: Stanley remembers seeing the other half of the lipstick tube with her initials on it in his mother’s bedroom. I’d also argue that Sam the Onion Man is implied to be descended from Madame Zeroni (chronology-wise, I think he’d be her grandson). First of all, there’s no follow-up with Madame Zeroni’s son who moved to America, and pretty much all other plot threads are followed up with in Holes. Secondly, Sam mentions water running uphill, just like Madame Zeroni does. Even without these speculations being true, Stanley and Hector being gay would redeem the land they’re on, but If they are, the parallel with the other ancestral redemption arc becomes to much to imagine it was unintentional.

So anyway, those are my thoughts on Holes, now everyone go read it!

[silvercrystalwhump]

The Town's Matron

TW: starvation, hunger, parental abuse, bbu warning

Flynn watches Kai out of the corner of his eye. Using one of Flynn’s mechanical pencils, Kai draws on the back of an old receipt. Eyes fully entranced on the pencil lines. Flynn pushes the shopping cart forward gently, so as to not disturb Kai who is sitting inside. A yawn leaves Flynn’s mouth as he looks across the shelves. The shopping list, if one could even call it that, sits clapped to the baby holder on the cart.

Holding up one of the sturdy backpacks, Flynn asks Kai, “Do you like this one?”

Kai eyes it for a second and hesitates before snapping to the chipper attitude he usually has and nods. Flynn blinks and looks back at the shelf, trying to follow where Kai flicked his eyes.

One thing he learned about box boys was that they never said no. That fact alone made Flynn worried for him.

What do they do to you to make you so compliant?

“Is there another one you like more?”

Kai pauses his drawing and slowly looks up at a green one. He points the pencil at it for a moment before going back to doodling. Flynn pulls the bag free from the shelf and holds it out. Kai beams and nods back at him, scrunching his nose like he usually does when he’s actually happy.

So, it’s safe to say that Kai really likes green.

Flynn looks over the price and the pockets of the bag. It’s made of decently sturdy material and is big enough to hold things other than one notebook. He slides it beside Kai in the cart and grabs the largest one he can see to go with it. These bags will need to hold a lot of things for a while.

Flynn tries to rub away the tiredness that eats at his vision. He had been driving for two hours before arriving at the nearest city to buy this stuff. He couldn’t do this in town. Everyone there knew him and someone would tell his father and he knew he would taste another piece of hell.

All of this needs to be yours and no one can know.

Kai sits in the cart surrounded by clothes for multiple seasons, bottles of soap, boxes of nonperishables, and a dozen donuts to use as a bribe for when Flynn returns to his Father’s house. One more month. That thought alone keeps Flynn going, keeping his eyes up. One more month until I take Kai and drive out west, leaving this hell behind.

Kai looks up and points behind him. Flynn looks over his shoulder and feels his stomach sink.

“Flynn!” an elderly woman, whom he knew well, cheers from across the aisle, “How are you?”

Pulling on his calm, practiced happy face, “I’m doing well Mrs. Dane, how are you and the family.”

“Oh excellent,” Mrs. Dane chirps, “The grandbabies are just so sweet and God has been good, what’s a young man like you doing this far out of town?”

“I could ask you the same,” Flynn smiles as he turns to the elderly woman. Mrs. Eliza Danes, the oldest woman in his small town and a woman who was respected. She is the kind of elderly woman with the tenderest heart but, at the flick of her eyes, could instill the fear of God into the devil himself.

“One of my kids lives out here sweetpea. Visiting the grandbabies, six, four, and three they are. All sweeter than honey! But you didn’t answer my question young man,” she beams as she looks past him into his cart, “And who’s he?”

“Oh, that’s Kai, he doesn’t do much speaking and well, something you just gotta come to the city for.”

Mrs. Dane raises a withered eyebrow, “Flynn, sweetie, you look like you haven’t seen a good warm meal in days. Whatcha doing with yourself?”

“Don’t worry, I’m walking on my own two feet.”

She smiles at him and says, “I don’t doubt it for a second honey. How ‘bout you come help little ol’ me finish shopping and come back with me to get you nice and fed.”

Flynn gives her a nervous smile, “I shouldn’t, my old man would wring my neck.”

And hurt Kai if he’s really mad.

Mrs. Dane drops her gaze and gives Flynn a knowing look before perking up again, “What did you eat last?”

A piece of toast yesterday morning.

“A sandwich for lunch, I’ll eat supper when I get home.”

Mrs. Dane shakes her head, “Lying does not please the Lord young man, and I know your father well enough to know exactly why you’re dodging this.”

“Mrs. Dane please-”

“Do not interrupt me young man, you and Kai are coming over to my house tonight and I’ma feed both of y’all, you hear? I do not care what your Father says I will personally escort to the Lord if he tries anyhing stupid.”

“Yes ma’am,” Flynn says, eyes on the floor and now very aware of the emptiness in his stomach.

Mrs. Dane looks up, “Now. Look at me.”

Flynn raises his eyes and meets Mrs. Dane’s. Fear eats at the lining of his stomach along with hunger. He feels his hands begin to shake against the cart handle.

“I remember when I was your age,” Mrs. Dane begins with a much softer voice, “There were alot more men like your Father raisin’ youngin’s and I know what that cart is for and you will be finishing the story after you're fed, is that correct?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Flynn turns around and locks eyes with Kai. Kai curled himself under Flynn’s hoodie and was watching the entire conversation. Unease reflects off the mirrors of his eyes. Flynn tries to give Kai a comforting smile but Kai sees through the facade like looking from a window.

Mrs. Dane talks about everyday things as they finish their shopping. The air presses into Flynn’s skin as he pays for what will be his salvation.

If Mrs. Dane doesn’t stop it before it even happens.

Kai helps Flynn stuff the bags into the area behind their seats. Flynn slides into the driver’s seat and Kai grabs his hand and gives him a sort of tender, questioning look. His slender fingers press into the hardened skin of his hand and send shivers up Flynn’s spine.

“It’s okay,” Flynn says, trying to reassure himself more than Kai, “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

Kai nods and lets go of Flynn’s hand. Kai returns to a still sitting position that he is sure is one of the numbered positions but he just doesn’t remember which one. Flynn lets a panic attack stew under the surface of his skin. The air in his lungs doesn’t taste right and it’s never enough. His vision is only clear on the road, his periphery blurred beyond usability.

Somehow, he makes it to the small log cabin next to the church.

Mrs. Dane lived alone, her husband passed a decade prior. Flynn, despite only being eight at the time, still remembers the suit his mother wrestled him into for the trip to the church. Mr. Dane was buried in the church cemetery.

Flynn steps out of his car and lets the crisp air of Fall snap him awake. Kai zips to his side, clinging to his arm. Kai’s fingers squeeze around Flynn’s arm and Kai nuzzles his nose into his shoulder. Flynn nods to himself and walks up towards the house, Kai on his heels.

He opens the door to let Kai and Mrs. Dane through before carrying all of her groceries into her home. All while, Flynn fights through the pain of hunger and fear. The ache of his stomach drags at his eyes. The emptiness in his gut almost feels too full and Flynn chokes back the urge to vomit up air.

Flynn can’t deny, the idea of any food in his stomach, no matter how revolting, was tempting.

Mrs. Dane gives him a warm smile, “Thank you, now about supper, I have a pork roast in the crockpot and I’m gonna bake up some potatoes for you and your little buddy. Now you two wash up and sit down.”

Flynn’s stomach growls and it takes every ounce of willpower he can muster to keep from curling in on himself. The cramps get worse by the second and they keep growing in area and intensity. Kai, after washing his hands, wraps Flynn in a hug. His eyes silently apologize.

Since Flynn has been giving Kai his food for the past couple of days.

Mrs. Dane finally calls them to the table. The food looks like gold and diamonds to Flynn. The pork is falling apart on itself and he can smell the spices and marinade from across the table. His mouth waters as he pushes Mrs. Dane into her chair.

Kai sits anticipatedly at the table, bouncing in his chair.

Flynn wraps an arm around his stomach as he sits. Mrs. Dane bows her head and says, “Let’s say grace.”

Flynn doesn’t hear what Mrs. Dane says as a prayer of thanks leaves her lips. The warm smell of food encapsulates his senses.

“Amen, Let’s eat.”

That’s all he had to hear.

If it weren’t for the years of table manners drilled into his skull, he might have ripped the pork out with his bare hands. He lets Mrs. Dane fills her plate first and then he fille Kai’s, out of both respect and to excuse the fact he wanted to eat everything on the table.

After the couple seconds that felt like years, he finally sunk his teeth into actual food.

His body just takes over after that and eats.

“Hasn’t eaten today hasn’t he?” Mrs. Dane says after a minute of Flynn snarfing down his food.

Kai, barely through a baked potato, shakes his head no.

Kai! Why do you betray me like this?!

“I knew it,” Mrs. Dane huffs, “I’ma kill that man, starving his son because of what, a lack of care!”

Flynn looks up and pauses eating, “I- It’s not- Um-”

Mrs. Dane shakes his head, “Let me tell you a story. When I was a young woman I had a sister, Anabel Peterson, she was a lot like you.”

Flynn shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He glances over and sees Kai leaning in, listening attentively.

“How so?” Flynn asks as he continues to stuff his face, slower now.

Mrs. Dane sighs, “Your Father likes to talk and most of the town knows that you… as we would call it back in my day, fruity.

That I’m gay. Yeah, he yelled it out in church last weekend.

“So was my sister, and she had… relations with a woman who was of a darker shade than we are. My Father found out one day and began to treat her very poorly and one morning I saw her grab similar things to what you have in your car and left. I have not seen her since.”

Flynn looks up from his plate and sees remorse and regret across the elderly woman’s face, “That must have been hard.”

“Yes,” she replies with a sigh, “I deeply regret not going after her, to take back many of the hurtful things I said.”

Kai looks back at Flynn and blinks. His eyes have a flavor of understanding that looked unfamiliar even to Kai. It is strange to behold. Flynn looks back at Mrs. Dane, “What are you getting at?”

“I know you plan to leave and never return, it is obvious and I do not blame you for the sentiment. I want to help you,” she says as she finishes her plate, “I know we will more than likely not see you again but I wish to at least make your last memories of here have some dignity.”

Flynn sighs, tons of worry and fear falling away like petals in a torrent. His head falls into his hands and has to hold back the reins of his tears to keep himself from crying in relief. “Thank you.”

“Pack your things here and let me know if you need anything, when you decide to leave come here and pick them up.”

The world both spins and tears for Flynn at once, some pieces of this plan come together and he finds himself smiling, “I- Thank you.”

Mrs. Dane smiles, “You’re welcome sweetheart, I hope God leads you to a better place than this one.”

Flynn and Kai look at each other and Kai beams a thousand stars worth of joy in Flynn’s direction. Flynn can’t help but absorb some of that happiness and smile at himself. The air seems lighter around him and for the first time in weeks he feels like he can breathe.

“Do either of you two want ice cream?”

Kai instantly perks up at the idea of anything sweet and nods frantically. The redhead practically vibrates in the chair.

Flynn nods, “Yes please.” Letting himself feel calm for a moment, he takes what he’s offered and eats.

Then his phone rings.

[johnnydoe69]

Beware the Evil Eye

In the peaceful twilight on the island of Euboea, a bright yellow Hummer sped down the road leading to a grand villa, Eurotrash music blasting over the speakers. 

Kosmas watched this from the front windows and sighed. The clouds of dust kicked up by the Hummer were dirtying the grapes that grew on both sides of the road. 

When the Hummer loomed from only a few miles away, Kosmas rang the service bell. At once, four other servants crowded into the foyer. 

A nervous electricity rippled between them as everyone got into position.

“You better not fuck this up,” Giorgos hissed from behind. 

Kosmas flipped Girogos a warm and comforting smile, “Oh, don’t be pessimistic. It’s always been harder to keep that boy in his clothes, rather than out. I’ll have that nazar in the palm of my hand within the hour.”

Behind his confident grin and laidback tone, however, Kosmas had his doubts. In all his years working for his grandmother, Kosmas had never seen Paul take off his nazar. It was a protective amulet meant to ward off the evil eye- spiteful magic aimed to target sources of envy and disgust- and it directly prohibited Kosmas from using his magic on him. 

If Kosmas couldn’t convince Paul to take it off from around his neck, or at least sneak it off without him noticing, there was little chance he could take it by force. The man was built like a dump truck and would break him in half if he was seen as a possible threat. With little other choice, but to go forward, Kosmas took a deep breath and opened the foyer doors. The five of them quickly trotted out the front door and down the marble staircase leading into the driveway. 

    By the time they reached the last few steps, Paul’s truck had come to a complete stop, a few feet away from the steps.

    For a few seconds no one moved. Even from inside the massive vehicle, Kosmas could see the dark blue energy radiating from underneath Paul’s tank top. 

Kosmas immediately began to sweat and had to dab himself with a handkerchief before Giorgos nudged him from behind. Paul was glaring at them from the Hummer.

    Remembering himself, Kosmas quickly ran to the driver’s side door and opened it. Paul came out with a thud, his massive feet stomping into the dirt. 

Walking back around the car he came before the servants,     a scowl prominently on his face, but before Paul could yell at them Kosmas interjected.

    “Paul, it’s so good to see you,” Kosmas exclaimed, a smile plastered on his face.

    “It’s good to see you too,” Paul said, lazily, striding past him.

    Paul turned his attention to Girgos and threw his car keys at the massive man’s chest.    

“Put this in the garage after the others get my bags. Kosmas, follow,” he ordered, walking past them and ascending the stairs.

Kosmas looked to the others for one last bit of assurance, but they had already moved on to taking care of Paul’s possessions, their backs turned to him.  

    Seeing that Paul had already made his way up several steps, Kosmas sprinted after him.     “How was New York?” Kosmas asked, panting.

    “Miserable. I was trapped on the Upper East side for six months with nothing to do but work from home and exercise in my private gym,” Paul said, glumbly. 

    “Have you tried reaching out to Dimitri and Lysandros?” Kosmas asked, trying not to trip as he shared Paul’s massive strides up the steps. “I remember you telling me about how you always had the best workouts together.”

    Paul grunted approvingly, “We did, but everyone’s too afraid to go anywhere. Lysandros promised he’d swing by Greece after his visit to the Caribbean, but that’s in two weeks. Now, look at these biceps, do you think my body can wait another two weeks?”

    Paul paused on the staircase and flexed inches from Kosmas’s face. Thick blue veins popped out from underneath his pale skin and stretched over his cannonball bicep. 

“This arm used to be at least three inches larger. I was practically wasting away back there,” Paul said.

In the past, Kosmas would have been weak at the sight of Paul’s raw muscle in his face, but he couldn’t let himself get distracted.

“What about the private gym you said you had at home?” Kosmas asked, trying not to let his annoyance show.

“Pft, I barely had any weights. I only had a treadmill and bowflex to keep me together.” Paul said, as they resumed their climb.

“Well, I’m sure you won’t have any problem maintaining a pump here. Your grandmother had the whole basement refurbished into a private gym for your arrival,” Kosmas said, sweating profusely through his white linen shirt. 

They reached the top of the stairs shortly after, Kosmas having to lean over and take a quick breath, while Paul beamed down at him without a drop of sweat on his body. 

“Some things never change, right, Kosmas?” Paul asked, slapping Kosmas hard on the back.

“Yes, of course,” Kosmas wheezed, balling his hands into tight fists. 

Paul left him there as he journeyed inside, while Kosmas once he collected himself and un-balled his fists followed behind. 

“So where is Evita anyway?”  Paul asked when Kosmas entered the foyer, taking off his baseball cap to scan the balcony above them. 

    “She had some business to attend to in Athens, but she told me to offer you the warmest greeting in her absence. She should be home by morning,” Kosmas said, still panting a little.

    Paul nodded and without another word strode into the lounge. Kosmas rushed ahead of him and quickly started getting together a bottle of bourbon and shot glasses.

    “What’s this, Kosmas? If this is from Evita’s private stash she’ll have Giorgos beat you like last time,” Paul said, taking a shot when it was offered to him, and plopping himself down on the couch.

    “Don’t worry, Paul. I haven’t forgotten about last time.” Kosmas said, with a polite smile. It was only until recently that he recovered feeling in his toes and it still hurt to curl them.

“I bought this bourbon in advance for your return home.”

    The liquor in this case had been drugged, weakening both the protective power of the nazar and increasing Paul’s sex drive. Kosmas made sure not to drink any of it himself, he couldn’t allow himself to get twisted up by Paul’s influence. It was always hard to say no to the man as it was.

He poured Paul another glass and placed it in his pitcher’s mitt sized palm. 

Paul looked around, curiously, “shouldn’t there be more servants milling around? I’d hate to think that I would have to fetch my own meals.”

“Oh, it won’t come to that, the few servants who are left are more than capable of picking up the slack after your grandmother fired most of the staff,” Kosmas said, cheerily, dying a little inside as he sat down besides Paul.

    “Wow, covid really hitting everyone hard,” Paul said, stretching out his thick arms and legs, before resting against the back of the couch.

    “Most of my friends in New York had to lay off their serving staff too. Too much risk of infection and with the stock market the way it is, it doesn’t hurt to remove extra liabilities.” 

    Paul kicked up his legs on the coffee table, forcing Kosmas to work around him as he poured him another glass.

    “Did she fire your father, too?” Paul asked, glancing down at Kosmas’s bowed head.

    “Yes, she did,” Kosmas said, gritting his teeth, handing Paul the finished shot glass.

    “Wow, harsh,” Paul said, snatching the drink out of Kosmas’s hand and gulping it down.

    “And knowing Evita, I bet she’s not giving that old fuck his severance pay,” Paul said with a chuckle.

    The dark blue aura around Paul’s neck was fading and Kosmas could feel his own powers surging as Paul’s slowly declined. He was so close to taking Paul’s body he could taste the sweat dripping off him. Kosmas slowly inched over to Paul, leaning his arm behind the big man’s neck. He was going to enjoy this.

Just before he could grab it, Paul turned to him and with a serious look in his eyes asked, “And that good for nothing fisherman hasn’t been coming around, has he?” 

Kosmas shrank away from Paul. The idea of touching him, even to steal his body suddenly repulsed him. To keep his sanity, Kosmas had banished all thought of what had happened to Andros from his mind, and Paul had once promised him that the man would never come up again.

“No,” Kosmas said, weakly. “He died in prison. Covid.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Paul said, sliding his large vascular hand on Kosmas’s thigh. Kosmas felt his dick harden and he saw that even through his jeans Paul was full mast as well. 

“I know you think I’m cruel for what happened and I’m sorry you feel that way. But I did it because I love you Kosmas. I couldn’t stand anyone coming between us,” Paul said, kissing Kosmas lightly on the cheek.

“Don’t give me that. You have fucked every gay man from here to Istanbul. You just couldn’t handle me paying attention to someone that wasn’t you,” Kosmas said, bitterly. He poured himself a glass and choked it down. Fuck the plan, whatever was going to happen wasn’t going to happen with him sober. 

Paul frowned, and grabbed Kosmas by his chin, pulling him in close. His grip was strong and Kosmas was terrified the man might accidentally break his jaw. His hot breath was blowing in Kosmas’s face and he could smell the faint tinge of spearmint gum on his breath. 

“I can handle competition. What I couldn’t accept was that you would choose someone so beneath me as a rival for your affection. You easily could have picked any of my friends, any of the wealthy bachelors on the island and you picked filth scraped off the bottom of a boat?”

Kosmas glanced over at the nazar, its energy had nearly faded from around Paul’s neck. He reached for it as Paul shot him a carnivorous smile. 

“But it’s okay now, because we both know I’m the only man for you,” Paul whispered, grabbing Kosmas’s hand and placing it on the back of his neck. He leaned in and began kissing his neck, sending sharp electric pulses all up and down Kosmas’s body.

Kosmas, feeling his chance slipping away, but unwilling or unable to act, gave himself over to the pleasure of the enchanted booze and Paul’s embrace. 

Paul moved his hand off Kosmas’s chin and foisted the smaller man onto his lap. He ripped at Kosmas’s work shirt, buttons tearing off and bouncing to the floor. 

His dick shot through the fabric of his jeans, massaging Kosmas’s ass as he moaned. It had been years, since he was fucked by another man and as much as he hated him, he couldn’t stop himself.

“Wait. I don’t want the other servants to see,” Paul said, pulling away. 

“Then, let’s take it upstairs to your room,” Kosmas said, pulling playfully at the small strands of hair on Paul’s head.

Paul shoved Kosmas off him, nearly knocking him off the coffee table, before snatching him by the wrist and pulling him out of the lounge and up the stairs. 

They threw themselves into Paul’s bedroom and on his bed, kissing furiously and grabbing at each other. Paul briefly pulled away and threw off his tank top, his charm necklace now prominently displayed on his chest. But instead, of the menacing power it once had, the amulet was now powerless, all its energy being soaked into the enchanted booze that seeped out through Paul’s sweat. 

Feeling his power return to him came with a sense of lucidity as Kosmas tested out the control he had over Paul.

When Paul leaned in to rip the underwear off Kosmas’s legs he found that he could no longer move. Every muscle strained against him as his blood vessels contracted, leaving him terrified and utterly helpless. 

Kosmas overcome with his sense of success laughed at the display of the larger man hanging over him. He slid out from underneath him and traced a finger along Paul’s back feeling the many hills and ridges of his massive muscular frame.

Small, confused grunts escaped Paul’s lips as he tried to make sense of what was happening, so Kosmas decided to let the man speak. 

His body partially freed from Kosmas’s control, Paul panted and took a deep shuddering breath.

“What are you doing to me?” Paul asked, quietly, his breathing labored. 

    “Remember, when you told me that I was to be yours forever?” Kosmas asked, kicking his underwear to the floor.    

“In a way, I am going to be yours forever, just not in the way you thought,” Kosmas said. He got in the bed behind Paul, using his control over Paul’s body to make him shrug off his jeans, while he faced the headboard, unable to look back. 

    “For you see, in all our years together a resentment has been building. An intense hatred. You treated me as a plaything, because your family controlled my father’s paycheck. You hurt me whenever you wanted, fucked me whenever you wanted, and killed anyone that came in danger of severing your control of me.”

    After Paul pushed off his jeans, Kosmas decided to do the extra work of pulling Paul’s tight red jock strap off his ass. The soft fabric curled in his fingers as he pulled downwards, Paul whimpering slightly. 

    “I didn’t know he would die in there. It was a mistake,” Paul stammered, cowed probably for the only time in his life. 

    “That’s the fun bit about the magic of the evil eye, Paul. It doesn’t give a shit about accidents or circumstances,” Kosmas said, sliding the jockstrap out of Paul’s dick and ass before sliding it down his thighs. 

    “It only cares about outcomes. The outcome in this case being, the only man I’ve ever loved is dead because of you.” Kosmas said, calmly, throwing the underwear behind him.

    “So, to repay your earlier favor I’m taking your life because you stole mine,” Kosmas whispered into Paul’s ear as he rubbed his back.

    “Please, my grandmother will give you anything. Just don’t kill me,” Paul begged, tears sliding down his cheeks.

    “Oh don’t worry, you won’t die, not really. I’ll just be taking your body and your identity as my own. And don’t worry about Evita either, the other servants and I have big plans for her,” Kosmas said, plucking a baseball cap off the nightstand and placing it on Paul’s head.

Kosmas grinned. 

“There’s my favorite sports star,” he whispered, kissing Paul’s ear.   

    Paul said nothing as Kosmas gathered himself into trance, using the entirety of his magic to make his body into a superfluous membrane. 

    Within a few minutes, his body had become a clear viscous like substance. Still in trance, he pushed against Paul’s back, feeling him gasp with pain as Kosmas entered his body. 

    He slid inside the man in seconds, but he was left in pitch darkness. His form had to grow and stretch against the confines of Paul’s body, his legs inflating, his back adding several inches of spine.

    Paul bucked against this of course, frothing with rage as he engaged in a losing battle against his own body, but within a few moments it was done.

    His essence was constrained and then enveloped by Kosmas’s, sucking in his emotions and memories, before crushing what remained of his free will and sense of self. By the time he was done with him, all that was left of Paul was a library of thoughts that Kosmas would have full access to.

    Finally in full control, Kosmas allowed himself to concentrate on his body’s physical sensations.

    He felt his massive chest breathing in and out. Around his neck the nazar still hung off his neck, once again glowing with a blue intensity, but instead of the sharp pain or weakness Kosmas feared there was nothing. The nazar recognized this body as his own.

He cracked his neck and pulled his arms over his head, surprised at their weight. He pulled his arms down and opened his eyes. Crawling off the bed, Kosmas took a few unsteady steps forward and curled his toes. No pain.

He grinned.

As the years passed, Kosmas or Paul as he was known publicly, whittled away at Evita’s title and fortune using lawsuits, bribes, and blackmail until he could finally run her off the estate. 

With Evita removed from power, the fired workers were able to return and together with several nearby villages were able to operate an agricultural co-opt that guaranteed housing and jobs to the people. 

Kosmas thrived as an administrator of the co-opt, keeping things running smoothly with his eye for finances, while his well-muscled body helped out in the fields. 

He still felt conflicted about wearing the body of someone he hated, but he found ways to alter his appearance without drastic measures, growing out a beard and letting thick brown hair grow all over his chest. He was in control of things for the first time in his life and Kosmas couldn’t be happier. 

[supercharmed-forever-mine]

On the rating of 10, how do you rate the writing of each legacies characters, why and who deserves better? What aspects should be improved?

I updated some of the opinion for clarity and also added Finch because I forgot her originally

I'll just make a list and go down it and I'm sorry in advance I love responding but I'm horrible at grammar/punctuation and also I might tend to ramble but I'll try to be as concise as possible. It should also be noted anything I state that might possibly relate to ships is a personal opinion and I have nothing against any ships/characters gay or straight/Good or Evil. However would it be said that I definitely mean more towards the gay/Badass with a Golden heart side of shipping with any fandom.

Hope Mikaelson- As of now I would rate her writing at about a 6. And I only say that because as we know a majority of her characters personality slightly has always but this season especially related to her relationship with Landon. And I wish we would see the Badass Tribrid Hope we've been promised since season 1 I mean sure there are no lack of examples of her bravery and martyrdom. But I am tired of her always feeling down on herself and like she's a cosmic mistake when it has literally been proven by Lizzie's wish in season 1 that their life would be infinitely shittier without her. What they can do to improve it is have her focus on friendship and herself instead of trying to always focus on Landon. She deserves more than just to be a boy obsessed character I mean she's the daughter of Klaus F****** Mikaelson for Pete sakes she literally descends from the most powerful supernatural family ever to exist and is rightfully the most powerful being on the f****** planet.

Note: I found Handon's relationship cutesy in season 1 but now not so much especially since they use him dying as a plot line way too often it just doesn't have the same effect that used to***

Josie Saltzman-As of now I would rate her writing at about an 8. I like how her character at least for a while had her own storyline going off the mystic falls High School plotline and how she lived with delena because it was a good call back for us TVD fans but I think it could have definitely lasted longer than a few episodes. We all know it was just used as a lot device to introduce Ethan as a series regular and as an introduction for her to Finch's character. But overall I feel throughout the seasons she has experienced at least some personal growth as exhibited even in 3x15 where she admitted she has to stop saying sorry especially to Lizzie for not always jumping to do what she needs / she wants all the time. Whereas before Android AU version aside because she literally had to do what she was programmed to do. She has an exhibited that she's starting to do what she needs to do for Josie before others most of the time or she's trying to. And as far as her relationship to Finch well I don't see them being endgame I have no problem with them and I do see Finch being one of her major loves of the series that teaches her whatever lesson she needs that leads her to whoever her endgame love is. With her relationships I will always miss Posie and I wish they could get Lulu back at least just for one episode. Also I feel these last two episodes of the girls being a trio they have a really Been serving Hosie with the looks but also I feel like in general Josie and Hope have been really in f****** tune. In conclusion I just don't know because Kaylee's acting skills and just turning general I would rate a billion she could choke me and I would literally thank her.

Lizzie Saltzman-as of now I would rate her at about a 7. I feel as if she has had great personal growth over the series and hell even this season. I also like hell despite everything in her life especially her eternal struggle with her mental illness she is always trying to do better and not just for herself but mainly for others and some people would say that's not good but I like it because it truly shows what she stated in 1x03 during the gargoyle incident that she never wants to be the bad or evil one. She has all this s*** thrown at her being called broken, being seen as the lesser than sister, and not to mention the absentee parents. Yet through all this she manages to only get stronger especially once she builds a genuine friendship with hope. However what I will say is that I don't like the regression of her friendship with Hope in correlation to her progress of especially her mental illness. And what I mean by that is it's almost been shown that once she had even the seeds of a true friendship with Hope that Hope would never give up on her hell not but like even an episode or two into their newly formed friendship in S1 Hope went to Josie when she Lizzie was on the verge of a bad episode and "sweet" Josie was basically like fuck her she needs to fall on her ass for once and Hope ass was appalled y'all she was like Lizzie can't control her brain chemistry and was so defensive/protective it's like once they got over that hurdle that mainly Josie gave them everything clicked into place and they were almost instant bff's. So for them to do so good in season 2 and then it seems like it showed especially in these last several episodes black magic incident to bring Landon back aside that Lizzie's old issues of resentment and jealousy towards hope are starting to come back and I don't like that because the more Lizzie had A Friend in Hope it seems like the better she got at coping and doing better mentally.(sorry if this has been a confusing several sentences). And no by that I do not mean that Lizzie is mental progress has solely relied on Hope but I do think it has helped significantly for her to have a true friend. Also let it be noted now out of every ship though I should Hosie too HIZZIE is my #1 ship on Legacies two phenomenally beautiful woman also the enemies to friends to lovers trope *chef's kiss*which might be plausible as I always wondered what they meant in the Hosie crush confession scene of season 1 when Josie said that she always went after everybody josie liked hinting that Lizzie might be at least bisexual or maybe that was just what Josie perceived at like 12/13 years old. Also on the note of relationships Mizzie was a cute concept at the beginning but I do love the fact that MG is finally finding himself and standing up for himself but he did also do it and I kind of a******-ish way towards Lizzie. And that's all I can say for her. Actually I could probably write a novel on this women and also Hizzie but I won't lol.

Alaric Saltzman- As of now I would give him a rating of like a 4 . In the last several episodes I think he's been trying to make progress at being a better person but that's about all I can say I'm not an anti. But he definitely will not be winning the father of the year award anytime soon and like many people have pointed out he was a great guardian to Elena and Jeremy so he has the potential in parenting he obviously just ain't using it or lost it over the decades. I don't hate him but I do believe they're doing a discredit towards the better man he was in The vampire Diaries especially at the beginning.

Landon Kirby-His writing is like a 3. He is just there to be arm candy for hope. Until the last couple episodes where he became this for once realistic not optimistic hardened badass he literally brought nothing to The season other than someone for Hope to obsess over. And to be someone that they repeatedly kill for shock value even though it literally shocks no one anymore. I don't hate his character but he doesn't tickle My Fancy as much anymore. His character has a lot of potentialy especially if they ever bring back in his Phoenix side and truly explore it beyond his almost endless ability to revive and being a "Bird Boy" lol. I mean truthfully they're doing him a disservice Aria is a phenomenal actor who could take his character places if they just let him be more than a basic ass plot device. Also can we talk about how gorgeous of a man Aria is especially in these last few episodes looking love it and fine as f***.

As it has become apparent to me I ramble too much and I just don't have the capacity as it is now almost 1:00 in the morning my time to do anymore characters in depth so I will be doing a simple excerpt for the rest now that I have done the main 5 people.

Kaleb Hawkins- His writing is a 8. I do like how he's coming to himself over the years and is a a right hand man to Alaric now instead of being just a uncontrollable vampire(the only hate on this part not towards Kaleb but Alaric is that it shows he will virtually mentor/uplift almost any teen that ain't his own daughters). Though in my opinion he always kind of had a point on some things especially about the hypocrisy of Alaric in season 1 especially on the bmood drinking thing. Him and Mg's relationship is awesome I'm glad they made up in the last episode and our brothers again. Also I was rooting for him and Cleo I think they would be a cute little couple. Also I need his backstory immediately especially after saying to Cleo the last time he was vulnerable he died I need to know how he turned.

Milton Greasley(MG)- His writing is a 9 the season. I say that because he is really came into his own and stopped being the punching bag. Though I think the idea or used to think at least that him and Lizzie would be cute together I am proud of him for standing up to Lizzie finally even though I liked him always being there for her I was tired of him being a fallback for her when it didn't work with whoever however I do think he could have went about the rejection a little bit gentler especially with how he knows of Lizzie's emotional problems. And don't even get me started on Alyssa that was just a disaster that should have never even been brought to fruition her cheating with Jed was probably the best thing that could have happened. I liked his little side adventure with Ethan though I do think they could have wrote it a little better I was sad when he had to compel the memories away like they still could have been friends he just couldn't have known about the supernatural stuff also I'm still not convinced Ethan won't become supernatural later in the series if he stays on. And that's all I have to say on that one love my baby.

Jed Tien-His writing I can't really give a writing I don't think it's horrible but I do think overall they could give him a better plot line as a series regular other than just being used for the comical relief eye candy/mentioning how he's the alpha. Though it was funny the whole pool tournament to decide who was alpha will Finch was just exactly that so bad it was laughable. However I do respect the fact that he even admitted to her that he knew she threw the game and that he is a genuine man of his word and has become better over the series from like this dumb jock stereotype to this genuine dude the Alyssa incident aside. He is a cinnamon roll and I will protect him at all cost.

Ethan- Again as he just became a series regular this season and barely showed up in his premiere season. I will not be rating him in any traditional sense. His writing is not totally horrible I liked his adventures with mg they could have been written better and they still could have let him be MG's friend without supernatural knowledge instead of compelling the friendship completely away. And I am still not convinced he will not become supernatural in some way depending on how long he stays in the series truthfully it's actually almost inevitable unless they go the whole route of making him the Matt/Token Human of the show which I really hope they don't I mean he can stay human but don't make him a supernatural hater.

Cleo-her writing is 10. I say that because she has been a phenomenal character and I've never seen the actress before but she is obviously phenomenal as well. I like her whole connection to Malivore and how it's a legitimate one that seems to be interwoven with the story that's already been presented and add something new. I also like how she tried and really wanted to genuinely be friends with all the characters especially hope but at the same time she was also very realistic and new probably and truthfully the only way for Malivore to be defeated was for Hope to Go full Tribrid and she wasn't above actually trying to murder hope to save herself and just get rid of Malivore which I can't blame her.

Malivore-after the end of season 3 / the first couple episodes of season 4 which were supposed to be the original ending to season 3 I better never hear the name again I am so tired of it this should have ended like at least a season ago at this point it's dragging on. This was supposed to be a monster of the week type of series which is okay me personally I have always appreciated having one big bad of the season and then a couple of minor baddies that get their characters arcs and take a few episodes to defeat or something as like a B or C plot. Point being is that this character and plot line has gotten stiff as can be. To be honest I think half of us aren't even here for plot line anymore we just want to see which of our ships get together.

Finch-I am loving her character and I do think she's cute with Josie. Also I stan anyone who is a sarcastic b**** Queen. I think it's nice how her will backstory was different than the traditional one but also I hated how sad it was like she literally didn't even know what she was doing. Though I will say calling Lizzie the "evil" twin that she can fight me because you don't talk about my blonde cinnamon roll like that is based on one impression from something that was only meant and done out of a good place and Lizzie's heart trying to find out her backstory. But other than that I have no real qualms with this character and it is too early to have a real in-depth analysis/opinion of her.

Thank you for reading this long rant hope I answered your question well enough if not PM me on anything specific.

[fleursowl]

okay but imagine slytherin Remus

His father had always tried to squash his ambitions from a young age- Remus didn’t yet understand that he wouldn’t be able to achieve a lot of things others could

Remus didn’t listen- in fact, this hardened his want, and nursed a private longing to become Minister of Magic

No one knew except his mother, who always encouraged him: ‘why campaign for change when you can work to put yourself in the position that makes changes?’

Hope Lupin had high hopes for her son, so she decided to forgo sending him to primary school and home school him

She taught him everything she knew, with help for Lyall on the wizardry side, and studied things she didn’t know about the wizarding world so she could teach him, too

So Remus enters Hogwarts smarter than half of the rest put together, but without the ability to make friends and very, very sheltered

However, he is also strong- no one can go through excruciating pain once every month without having thick skin and a hardened heart. By the time Remus had arrived at Hogwarts he’d already gone through roughly 60 full moons, so he was also tougher than most

The marauders take an immediate interest in him on the train- the amber-eyed, scarred mysteriously smart boy catches their eye. They also find him extremely weird, especially Sirius, as Remus takes literally no interest in him, and he is used to being treated with the upmost respect from strangers

Remus and James start getting along quickly, but when Remus hops onto the stool and it screams out Slytherin after a record-breakingly long time, and he tries to meet James’ eye, he finds the boy staring at the ground disappointedly, with Sirius whispering something in his ear

Remus feels a flash of hurt and confusion, but quickly shrugs it off. He isn’t here to make friends- he’s here to learn, gain knowledge, gain power

Over the next few years, a feud starts between Remus and Sirius- Sirius is nursing a prejudice against Slytherins to help him get over the abuse from his family, and Remus doesn’t suffer fools, especially ones who have it out for him for no reason

They compete to be top of the class, and James has never seen Sirius study so much when it comes to OWLS

“Mate, come on, come help me plan this prank”

“James, I already said no. Remus hasn’t left the library yet so I can’t either”

“What about if we do it here and make it look like we’re studying?”

“…Fine.”

Every time Sirius walks into the common room and sees Remus sitting there with Lily, Marlene and Dorcas, he starts proclaiming to anyone who’ll listen (no one) that he thinks green and red clash awfully, and starts hurrying the first years into removing anything green from the common room

Under Sirius’ instruction, one of them begins walking towards Remus, but one look from the tall, amber eyed boy has them running

Once Lily and James start dating in sixth year, the boys start hanging out with Lily’s group more

This includes Remus

Eventually, after several explosive arguments, one fist fight and plenty of scoldings from Lily and James, the boys learn to co-exist

That doesn’t mean they’re not prior to the small quip or thinly veiled insult here or there, though

In fact, all the forced ‘getting along’ just increases the tension and attraction between them

One night, when the James and Peter have been on a Hogsmeade run, they come down to the common room with bottles of firewhisky, and declare a game of truth or dare

This eventually turns into seven minutes in heaven, a game Lily introduced to a thrilled James

And to no one’s surprise, when Sirius spins the bottle, it lands on Remus

(especially not James because he totally didn’t charm the bottle)

Sirius and Remus give each other challenging, disgruntled looks to hide how fast their hearts are beating

Once they’re in the closet (ha) Sirius lets out a long sigh, to which Remus snorts at

“I’m not exactly thrilled to be here either, Black”

“Oh sure, you’d rather be with Marly or Dorcas. That’s why you’re friends with them, right? Well sorry, but I don’t think they swing your way, Lupin.” Sirius snaps

Remus chuckles at this, which makes Sirius mad, he gets up in Remus, face, their chests almost pressed against each other

“Something funny?”

“Yeah, the fact that you think I swing their way when I’m clearly gay and obsessed with you.” Remus quips back, a smirk creeping onto his face

Sirius blinks stupidly, and Remus begins to regret everything, when he suddenly feels hot lips pressed against him, hard

He lets out a soft moan, his hands coming up to tug at Sirius’ hair, who whines into his mouth

They battle for dominance in the kiss just like they do when they fight, but eventually Sirius is pressed against the wall with Remus’ lips attacking him

It’s over far too soon, however, when James pulls the door open quickly

They both blink as their eyes adjust to the light again, and are greeted with a grinning James Potter, and a very smug looking Lily Evans

“Only took you six years, eh?”

[bonbon-chan]

of tykes and tiffs

Pairing: ShiSaku

Rating: G

Summary:  Shisui volunteers to help at the academy and learns he doesn’t like to share

For day 3 of ShiSakuWeekend 

Prompt:  “You’re mine and only mine”

Read on AO3 

@shisakuweek

Shisui was a man that prided himself on following through with the decisions he made. As an ANBU captain, he’s had his fair share of difficult choices. He led teams in life and death situations, knowing that any error in judgment might result in his squad not returning to Konoha. He did not take this responsibility lightly, but thankfully it always panned out. When it didn’t, he learned from those mistakes and grew from them.

 Yet.                                                

 Here he stood.

 “Shisui-san, I wanna see you go fast!”   “Shisui-san, show me your scary eyes!”  

“Shisui-san, can you throw me into that tree?”

 The Uchiha was being pulled by his pantleg, wrist, and the front of his jounin flack vest by five-year-old rugrats. All around him was chaos. The children were causing mayhem, and he was supposed to be keeping them in line. He was supposed to be teaching them.

 Some had found their way up the trees that surrounded the practice grounds adjacent to the academy. Some were precariously balancing on the target posts. And some were landing a sloppy array of jabs on the practice dummies.

 Shisui was at a loss.

 For the first time, he found himself questioning his life choices.

 The kids he tried to engage wholly ignored him.

 “Oi!” he exclaimed at one kid attempting to jump from post to post. “Get down, or you’ll hurt yourself.” He grabbed the child under his arms and set him down on the safe and stable ground. The child’s toes barely touched the earth before he was off again, running towards his friends. The onyx-eyed man let out an exasperated sigh.

 Shisui was familiar with wrangling the clan kids that would cause a ruckus in the compound, but those instances were few and far between as the children were trained from a young age to be obedient and not cause disruption. And there were usually no more than three or four kids at a time. An entire class’s worth of rascals was unprecedented.

 Shisui didn’t actively avoid children. He actually thought they were pretty funny. As an individual who refused to fit into the mold of a hardened shinobi, and was at times ostracized for his outgoing attitude, he found the brats to be kindred spirits.

 He just had a find a way to break through to them.

 “Shisui-san,” his name being called but a voice that painfully high-pitched startled him out of his stupor. “Have the students started their warmups yet?” Inquired Iruka walking out of the building to meet the curly-haired man.

 Shisui looked out into the field of prospective shinobi, reigning chaos and flinched. He forgot that he was there for a lesson, and not to question his life choices leading to this moment.

 He chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. “You see, Iruka-san,” he started, “We were about to start the academy katas when Shinji-kun over there saw a squirrel running up a tree and insisted on following it. And it kind of spiraled from there,” he finished lamely. His charcoal eyes quickly darted away from the disapproving gaze of the academy instructor.

 “You know Shisui-san when you begged to volunteer today--”

 “—I politely offered my services, Iruka-san,” Shisui interrupted matter-of-factly.

 Iruka leveled a flat glare at Shisui, but let the correction slide and continued, “The students are supposed to be warming up so that by the time Sakura-san arrives we can jump straight into the lesson.”

 “I thought she was supposed to be here by now,” the younger man grumbled and petulantly kicked a pebble.

 The ponytailed man gave Shisui a knowing look. “So, all that talk about being interested in the future shinobi of Konoha was a ruse, huh?”

 Shisui faltered, “Wha—No, I meant what I said. It is important to invest time curbing the future of our village and giving back to the community.” He crossed his arms and nodded confidently. “I would even go as far as to say that they like me,” he remarked haughtily.

 Iruka looked at him dubiously. “Sure,” he acquiesced.

 Suddenly, all the commotion halted before the mass of five-year-olds moved to congregate around the newcomer that stepped out onto the grounds.

 A chorus of “Sakura-san” rang out in the crowd of gremlins, now surrounding Sakura, clamoring for her attention.

 She stood in the middle of the hoard of hip-high mini-humans glowing and wearing a warm look. She tucked a strand of pastel hair behind her ear as she bent at the waist to address her eager fans. Jade glittered with amusement as she listened to an energetic retelling everything she’s missed since the last time she joined the class for a lesson.

 The truth was that Shisui did lightly urge Iruka into letting him assist in the training the academy students today. In reality, he wanted to spend more time with the medic. She had been so preoccupied at the hospital lately, and her absence was sorely felt. When he heard that she volunteered to train the kids, he jumped at the opportunity.

 He and Sakura had grown quite close in the past few years. It started when she accompanied his ANBU squad on a high-value mission to rescue one of the Fire Daimiyo’s daughters. On that mission, he witnessed her battle prowess and fineness when operating under high-stress conditions. He also engaged her on a personal level.

 After that, he had made an enthusiastic effort to seek out her company, which brings him back to his current situation.

 “All right, kids,” the chunin instructor started his authoritative command, “Let’s line up.”

 The group split off and formed five lines with four students in each of them. Iruka started explaining taijutsu theory to the impressionable, prospective ninja.

 Sakura came to stand by Shisui. “Hi Shisui,” she greeted with a smile that made his heart stutter. “I didn’t know you were going to be here today. Usually, there’s only one guest instructor,” she pointed out, brows furrowing, trying to figure out why today was an anomaly today.

 The Uchiha chuckled nervously and scratched his cheek, “Well, you see, I ran into Iruka-san at the market the other day, and we were catching up. He mentioned that he was looking for someone to help with taijutsu training,” Shisui’s confidence grew as he spun his tale. “I figured since I was free today and most certainly qualified for the position, I could enlighten the little ones.” He finished with a blinding grin that was only two steps away from being considered Gai-level.

 The kunoichi’s jade eyes cut to the dark-haired man out of the corner of her eye. “It’s interesting you say that,” she began, “Because Iruka-sensei usually asks me to do this lesson. It’s a sort of agreement I have with the academy. And I’ve never seen someone else join in conducting these lessons.” Her gaze sharpened to suspicion.

 Shisui realized he wasn’t going to be able to get away with anything and decided coming clean was the best course of action. He angled his body to face her. Taking in a breath, he started, “Ne Sakura, I do think it’s important to guide the children who will be the future of our home. And when I found out you were already doing it, I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity.” He finished honestly and gazed straight into her orbs hoping that she could see the sincerity reflected.

 Her suspicion dissolved, being replaced by concern. She didn’t realize that her absence was felt so deeply.

 Sakura took Shisui’s hands in hers. Her brows pinched in concern. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much lately, Shisui…Things have been busy at the hospital,” she seemed to be holding back from him. Her gaze suddenly sharpened as she squared her shoulders. “The reason I’ve been so busy lately is because there have been a lot of preparations—”

 She was cut off by Iruka’s voice, now projecting towards Sakura and Shisui. “Now, for today’s lesson, we have two special guests.” An excited murmur rushed over the crowd.

 Sakura dropped Shisui’s hands and turned back to the academy students in front of her with intent focus.

 It was a while before Shisui was able to pull his gaze from the rosette. Why did she have to brace herself for what she was about to tell him? A creeping nervousness entered his system before he pushed it down to fix his attention.

 Iruka waved a hand in their direction. “Please welcome Haruno Sakura-san, head medic-nin, apprentice to the Godiame Hokage, and legendary sannin.” The children burst with glee, clapping and cheering for her. The kunoichi’s expression melted at the enthusiasm of the tykes. Shisui’s heart stilled as her lips ticked up in the slightest smile, and pink bloomed across her face. She looked away in sudden embarrassment of the attention. Shisui, enthralled, could not look away.

 When there was finally a lull, the ponytailed chunin continued, “And Uchiha Shisui-san, ANBU captain, also known as Shunshin no Shisui.”

 Shisui basked in the looks of awe the students were regaling him with. Until—

 “Why is he here?” Came a high-pitched screech. “We usually only have Sakura-san to teach us. Why is he here too?”

 Some other students joined in the demanding as they believed an excellent point was raised.

 Iruka held up both hands in an appeasing manner, “Shisui-san was kind enough to volunteer for today. And isn’t it better to have two guests--” the academy instructor did not get to finish his explanation.

 “We don’t need him!” the outspoken child busted through to the front of his peers and stood with his arms crossed over his tiny chest and chin jutted out. “He’ll just get in the way. Isn’t that right, Sakura-san?” he finished with stars in his eyes, looking to her for validation.

 Said medic was at a loss for how to handle the situation. Shisui was brooding over the fact that he was so easily put down.

 Sakura, ever the diplomat, settled the incensed boy, “Shisui-san is a great shinobi, and you all would only benefit by him being here today. You get to see not only one but two taijutsu styles today. That’s pretty cool, isn’t it Ichimaru-kun?”

 Shisui doesn’t want to think that he was smugly glancing at the child, but he most certainly is.

 The Ichimaru devil looks put out with a pout firmly in place. He let out a dramatic sigh, “Fiine,” he drew out as he stomped back to his previous position.

 Iruka coughed into this first. “We’ll start with warming up since we were supposed to do that earlier but got distracted.” Iruka cut a glare to Shisui as he ground that out. “Start your warming up katas before we jump into the lesson.” The instructor turned and headed towards the two guests. “Since they are just entry-level students, at this age, we focus more on conditioning rather than form. It’s good for them to observe taijutsu and become familiar with it to promote engagement, but this lesson is more for fun that to be taken too seriously. After the warmups, we’ll have the students break up into groups and practice what you teach them. Does that make sense?”

 The medic and ANBU captain nodded their understanding.

 Shisui looked out onto the pint-sized humans practicing their kicks. They all looked kind of cute, varying looks of concentration displayed on their faces.

 It was guaranteed to be a long day, but he thought he would find it rewarding.

 :: :: ::

A demanding squeak jarred him from his reverie. “Don’t you have a job to do?” Ichimaru’s distrustful glare held his eyes.

 Shisui raised an eyebrow, “Excuse me?” he muttered absently.

 He admits he was not paying attention at the moment. His eyes softened as he observed Sakura. She was in her element. The medic was patiently walking a prospective kunoichi on how to properly block a punch so that she would sustain the least amount of damage. Her pink locks shone in the sunlight, and her eyes danced gleefully at the antics of the children.

 Shisui had to remind himself to breathe. Never had he been wholly entranced with something or someone. Watching Sakura interact with the kids stirred something in him that two years ago, he would’ve never considered. He suddenly saw his future with Sakura. One where she was holding their child on her hip and her belly visibly swollen with another to come.

 Shisui was forcefully pulled from his daydream.

 Ichimaru swept his arm out at Shisui and pointed an accusatory finger. “I can see what game you’re playing at.” He bellowed. “You like Sakura-chan! But that’s too bad for you.”

 The Uchiha was so thrown off-kilter at the accusation that he didn’t know how to react. “Sakura-chan? You know it’s not polite to speak so familiarly.” He started with this point. Where did this kid come off speaking about Sakura in such a manner? And sure, his gaze may have held admiration for the medic, but he didn’t think that he was so obvious.

 Ichimaru planted himself in front of Shisui, fists at his hips and feet shoulder-width apart, and with the confidence of someone who was about to speak an undeniable truth, “I am going to marry my Sakura-chan someday, so you better get over this crush and hit the road.”

 Shisui’s draw dropped.

 This pipsqueak. This brat had the audacity to say that he was going to marry his Sakura-chan.

 The shinobi rose to the bait, “Well, that’s not going to happen!” He bent at the waist to bring his scowl level with the child.

 “And why not?” Came the petulant question.

 “Because Sakura is my girlfriend and mine! So you better give up on your dissolutions before you get hurt.” Shisui straightened and crossed his arms in the same manner Ichimaru had.

 The child grew silent before finally murmuring, “I don’t believe you.” His eyes still held distrust, but now there was contemplation.

 “Well, believe it, pal. Sakura is my girlfriend, and we are going to get married.” He stated with a satisfied smirk.

 “Get in line!”

 “What?!” Shisui exclaimed.

 “There is a line for who gets to marry Sakura-chan. We’re up to five now, and I’m the leader. So, I get to marry her first!” Ichimaru ground out with conviction.

 Shisui couldn’t believe that Sakura had a fan club of little gremlins.

 He was vibrating at the blatant disrespect.

 A soothing presence made its way over his shoulder. “Is everything all right over here?” Sakura inquired, eyes peering back and forth between the two males who each appeared to want to take the other out with eyes alone.

 “Shisui-san has been lying.” Ichimaru accused.

 The Uchiha held in his retort and just pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

 Without a rebuttal from the man, the boy continued in disbelief, “He said he’s going to marry you!”

 “What?” Sakura breathed out, jade quickly searching for confirmation in obsidian.

 “HA!” The academy student shouted, “You were lying. I knew it,” he finished with a conceited smirk, edging towards Sakura.

 Shisui was frozen under Sakura’s watch. This was not how he intended this to go.

 After an intake of air and closing her eyes momentarily, Sakura turned to the boy, “Ichimaru-kun, can you please help Yumi-chan with the basics of blocking? Shisui-san and I need to speak for a moment.”

 “Yes, Sakura-san,” on his way to his newly appointed task, he kept glancing over his shoulder.

 Sakura grabbed Shisui’s wrist and pulled him to the outskirts of the field.

 Her eyes started to tear up. Shisui’s despair was present when he appeared in front of her immediately, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek. “What’s wrong? I know we haven’t really talked about it, but I love you and want to be with you,” he floundered, “It doesn’t have to be immediately, and I know we have only been together officially for nine months, but maybe it’s something we can think about?” Charcoal orbs frantically searched jade. His thumb running back and forth across her cheek as his other hand gripped her waist, anchoring himself to her. “That’s why I begged Iruka to let me train the kids today,” he admitted sheepishly.

 Sakura let out a wet chuckle, “What happened to shaping the shinobi of the future?”

 “I meant that too, of course. I think kids are entertaining to have around and they always impress me with their theatrics,” he trailed off, “too bad they don’t seem to like me back,” his voice carried disappointment and expression, crestfallen.

 “That’s not true. Yumi-chan took a real shining to you. And the Nara kid was listening intently when you were comparing taijutsu fighting to go.” She cheered him up, drawing lazy circles on his chest with her fingertip.

 The corner of his mouth ticked up in a barely-there smile, “Yeah, I guess I didn’t do too bad.” The hand on her waist tightened, “I just didn’t think I was going to get shown up by a brat like that.”

 The medic let out a full belly laugh at the sullen look on the curly-haired man’s face. “Don’t be like that, Shisui. It’s just a silly crush,”

 Tears swelled in excess and spilled from her eyes down her cheeks. Sakura sniveled, “I never realized,” she started, “that you felt that way, Shisui. I-I love you too.”

 Shisui hauled her body into him, setting one arm around her waist and the other supporting her back, his fingers tangled with her hair.

 Sakura brought her arms up his back and pressed her cheek over his heart. After a while, Shisui pulled back and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss on her lips. His chest burst with happiness. He knew he was wearing a dumb look on his face.

 “Does that mean that you’ll marry me?” he whispered, hoping his voice didn’t sound as desperate to her is it did to his own ears.

 Her eyes lit up with mischief. “Well…” she drew out as the dark-haired nin leaned further into her, “as unorthodox and unplanned as a proposal that was, yes Shisui. Yes, I’ll marry you,” she answered with a lopsided grin.

  :: :: ::

 After the completion of the lesson, an offer to return from Iruka, and a grumbled apology from Ichimaru, the students and instructor returned to the classroom, leaving the couple in the forest surrounding the academy grounds.

 He pulled her into him so that her back was against his chest. His arms crossed across her waist, and her own arms joined his, covering them in her warmth. He tucked his head over her shoulder, “That Ichimaru will grow up to be a great shinobi one day. Such valiance and bravery is commendable,” Shisui remarked.

 Tinkling bells resounded through the forest. “I’m glad you’ve gotten over your jealousy,” the kunoichi teased.

 Shisui lowered his head and playfully nipped at her neck. She giggled and slightly tilted her head, baring her neck in response. “Don’t you know, Sakura,” he whispered into her ear, causing her toes to curl in familiar excitement. “That you’re mine and only mine.” His voice was confident and content.

 Her laughter rose through the trees before settling, “Yes, but not for much longer, Shisui.”

 He stiffened. What could that mean? Not for much longer? Did he do something to cause her to want to leave him?

 His mind was whirring, analyzing all their encounters over the past couple of months with sharingan acuity.

 The rosette dislodged out of his hold and turned to look at him. Jade met obsidian and not for the first time, did Shisui lose his breath. Her eyes were incredibly sincere, and she seemed to be struggling internally with something. Her orbs finally cleared to seafoam, and a resolute expression was set on her face.

 Shisui had never felt such fear in his entire life. He had infiltrated underground lairs of vile nuke-nin. Had single-handedly taken down enemy strongholds. He had even stood up to Fugaku, fighting with him to not put as much pressure on Itachi with clan expectations.

 But never had he felt the anxiety trail down his spine and settle heavily in the pit of his stomach as he had now.

 Sakura was the light of his life. He missed her every time he parted for a mission, feeling like he was underwater until he reached the village gates and felt her chakra signature in his radius again. Only then could he breathe freely. Her warmth was enough to melt the walls he instated to guard his heart. He took every opportunity to be with her, hence today’s theatrics. The dark-haired man’s mind took a distressing turn.

 He was alarmed by hands firmly placed on his shoulders. He didn’t realize he was looking down at his hands. He cautiously peered up through his eyelashes.

 And then he completely straight to her face.

 Her eyes shone of such affection that Shisui found himself breathless once more.

 “I will not always be yours, and only yours, Shisui,” she started slowly and enunciating every word. “You will have to learn to share me.” Her hands traveled from his shoulders to his hands, where she gave them a comforting squeeze.

 The Uchiha was beyond confused. Shisui was mildly comforted that she wasn’t leaving him but remained anxious. Why would he have to share her, and more importantly, who would he have to share her with?

 Sakura saw the conflict racing through his eyes but patiently waited.

 After a moment of silence from Shisui, she took his hands and placed them on her clothed belly and covered his hands with her own.

 Shisui still continued to look in confusion.

 She cleared her throat, “Remember when you said that you like kids, but they don’t like you?”

 He was barely aware that his head was nodding because he was enthralled with catching every word that she uttered of this confusing confession.

 “Well…” she started while wearing a smile so radiant it momentarily blinded him. “I can think of one child that will adore you,” she finished and looked at him expectantly while holding her breath for his reaction.

 Shisui’s eyes widened at the realization.

 “Wait—You—Y-You’re pregnant?!” He exclaimed his epiphany.

 Sakura’s smile widened into a grin as she nodded her head.

 Shisui could not believe what he had heard. Sakura was pregnant. His Sakura was pregnant with their child.

 And then another realization.

 His grip on her midsection tightened in the slightest. “I’m going to be a father?” He mutters barely above a whisper.

 The kunoichi let out an airy laugh, “Yes, Shisui. You’re going to be a father, I’m going to be a mother, and we’re going to have a baby.”

 Shisui had never felt such joy and delight. He was going to start a family with the love of his life. The sun was brighter, the birds’ chirps of musical harmonies and every detail, every micro-expression flitting across Sakura’s face was being captured. He belatedly realized he had subconsciously flickered on his sharingan.

 He lifted his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. There was a beautiful blush blossoming across her cheeks and her eyes shone of unshed tears. He knew his looked the same when he felt salty marks make their way down his cheeks.

 His mouth crashed down on hers in a passionate kiss. His poured all his love, his admiration, his respect for her in this kiss.

 Breaking apart, he touched their foreheads together. Onyx met jade.

 He put some pieces together. “Is that why you’ve been so busy at the hospital lately?”

 She nodded, “Yeah, I have to get the hospital ready for when I go on maternity leave.”

 “And when will that be?” his hand came down to rest on her belly again.

 “About seven months,” she smiled.

 Shisui’s brows climbed to his hairline, “You’re already two months along?”

 “Yeah, Shizune-senpai was actually the person who noticed.”

 He grabbed her wrist and brought it to his mouth, feathering a kiss over her pulse. “Who else knows?”

 “Just Tsunade-shishou, Shizune-senpai, and you.”

 Shisui jumped away from her. Sakura, confused at the loss of warmth, peered over at her fiancé.

 Excitement gleamed in his eyes. “We have to go tell everyone! We’re having a baby! Mikoto will lose her mind! She’s always wanted a grandchild.” He stiffened when he realized something, “Are you sure it’s ok for you to be engaging in strenuous physical activities?” he intoned with concern.

 “I wouldn’t call today strenuous physical activity, but yes, everything is ok for now. Don’t worry, I’m a medic-nin, remember?”

 “You’re right,” he pecks her lips, “I’ll try not to worry,” he told her but knew he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise. He gripped her hand in his, tugging her towards the Uchiha compound. “Let’s go tell the world.” He floated in elation, not quite believing this was his reality. He had the woman of his dreams, and they were going to start a family.

[direquail]

list 10 different female faves from 10 different fandoms

got tagged by @lightdescending!!! Thank you!!! Putting answers under a cut in case this gets Long (update: It Did)

Faith (Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel) - A formative archetype, for all that Joss Whedon turned out to be a creep and it kind of shows in how his characters are written. But honestly, there's how they were written and how they were received, and Faith has become so much more than how she was written. My younger disaster gay self was instantly vibing.

Tamsin (Lost Girl) - One word: Valkyrie. Two words: Drunk Valkyrie. A broken ancient warrior wandering the world as a mercenary, cynical and hardened, who proceeds to fall in love with her mark because her mark is The Real Deal? Iconic. A bisexual foul-mouthed murder lady who swigs vodka and then kills things? Effervescent. And she has WINGS???? There were many things about this show that (a) did not age well, and/or (b) were Not Great when they first aired, but Tamsin was. Influential to how I write and the fandom had a huge impact on me personally. I have a Character Type, and BOY HOWDY is Tamsin the mascot.

Brunnhilde | Valkyrie (MCU) - When Tamsin died at the end of season 3 of Lost Girl, I had a minor existential crisis because Valkyries canonically reincarnate, and I could not imagine another actress doing what Rachel Skarsten did with the role. And then I watched Thor: Ragnarok, and I am convinced that Skarsten's Tamsin is but an imitation of this Valkyrie. I know, I know; Lost Girl ended years before Thor: Ragnarok came out. But I don't make the rules.

Dutch | Yalena Yardeen (Killjoys) - She's just. I just. So. I watched Ant-Man and the Wasp, right? I watched it because I knew Hannah John-Kamen (the actress who plays Dutch) would be in it as Ghost. I did not watch the first Ant-Man movie. I have no plans to watch any Ant-Man 3 movie unless HJK is in it again. Technically, Killjoys is about all three of the main Killjoys (Johnny, D'av, and Dutch)--but the show is Dutch's story and Dutch is. How do I even describe her? "Badass" is not a strong enough word. There are similarities to other earlier characters on here--she's not as drunk as a lot of them, she can't afford to be, but like a lot of other characters on this list, she exists on the margins of the society she lives in (as a bounty hunter), and she is deeply, deeply cocky. But her story is also so much about self-determination and choosing how to use her deadly skill set after a truly horrifying childhood, about not being a pawn in anyone's plan anymore, and I can do absolutely nothing but respect and love her. And Hannah John-Kamen.

Wynonna Earp (Wynonna Earp) - What a fucking mess of a human. I love her so much. A very Gideon Nav kind of human who comes back to the town that had her committed to a psych hospital and gave her electroconvulsive therapy for refusing to lie about the horrors she'd seen and now, she finds herself bound to defend them. She is the hero of the show. End of story.

Kara Danvers | Kara Zor-El (Supergirl (2015)) - After reading this list, you may think that this is a departure from my Very Predictable Wheelhouse of drunk murder ladies, and you are correct! This came as a shock to me, too, because I almost never feel any kind of emotional connection to female title characters--I connect with Faith before Buffy, Tamsin before Bo, etc., and I know that at least part of the reason for that is the kind of gendered expectations placed on female title characters by our media, the kinds of stories they're allowed to embody. But Kara is the exception, and What A Fucking Exception. It's very predictable for me to love Gideon Nav; but Kara Zor-El is a Sunshine Character, and I have a deep love for her. Possibly because, while she is a Sunshine Character (ha ha, yes, pun), she is also just so profoundly genuinely kind, and it comes from profound and genuine grief and rage and loss, and it makes her sunshine-y -ness feel like more than a platitude. I love messy characters, but I also love Genuinely Good characters, and Kara Zor-El is so genuinely good. (This is also the exact kind of character that I love to pair with characters like Tamsin)

Grace Harper (Terminator: Dark Fate) - BUTCH REP BUTCH REP. (Accidental) BUTCH REP. Also, Mackenzie Davis. Grace gave me so many gender feels, and her complete unhesitating devotion and loyalty is *clenches fist* So Good

Camilla Hect (The Locked Tomb Series) - Why do I love her so much that I'd pick her out of all the Locked Tomb ladies to include on this list? I do not know. I only know I have a soft spot for gruff badasses who share their food with people. Also it helps that she dual-wields (yes, that is a euphemism, but also no, it is not a euphemism)

Alice (CW's Batwoman) - Another Rachel Skarsten character, because Rachel Skarsten is a Fucking Delight and Alice is just. *chef's kiss*

Mara (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) - The other Sunshine Character on this list, and I think I love her for similar reasons to why I love Kara? She's good, and kind, and noble, and so much all of those things it hurts. It would have been easy for her to be (and with any other people running the show, she probably would have been) uncomplicated and kind of boring, but instead she was moving and tragic and beautiful and I love her, thanks for coming to my TED talk. Also: She gives me distinguished older queer vibes, and my not-nearly-so-distinguished slightly-older queer self connected with that for some reason.

If you made it through all of that and you'd like to do this, consider yourself tagged! And I'd like to see what your answers are, so if you do do this, feel free to tag me! Tagging (with no pressure to do it but just inviting you to join in): @diaryreadingcat, @queersintherain, @nike-ravus, @the-evil-queen-14, @the-consequences-of-salt, @makutas-chronicle, @generalalder, and uhhhhhhh anybody else who wants to pass this around