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queen-of-reptiles · 10 months ago

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𝚂𝚄𝙽𝚂𝙴𝚃𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚂𝙴𝙰

description: while walking alone back home along the beach, mary meets a few strangers, who teach her how to play volleyball, - her eyes are drawn however, to a better view.

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mary fowler x female reader

disclaimer: this is all fiction! Do not take any of this seriously.

warnings: just plain cuteness, like a few kisses and curse words but mainly just fluff and mutual pining

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y/n just posted

liked by y/f/n1, y/f/n2, and 798 others

tagged y/f/n1, jake_uts1 and 11 others

y/n sun, sea, sand and sunsets (+ an angry Sally and a smug Jake)

view 300 comments...

y/f/n1: Is the second photo after I drowned you?

y/n: before - which is why I still look so happy 🙄

y/f/n1: 😇😇

y/f/n2: gAWd that party was so good

y/n: it was a veryyyyyy good night 😂

y/f/n3: i miss just dance sm omg ! 😅

y/n: i miss you sm omg

y/f/n3: don't i'll cry !! 🥹

sally_c: i was seconds from breaking Jake's neck

jake_uts: Don't worry babe, I was seconds from breaking yours

sally_c: 🥰🥰

y/n: You guys stress me out sm as a couple

jake_uts: 😏😏

see more comments...

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y/n kept her eye on the volley ball - she and her friends were on the beach, as usual, the Australian sun setting over them, the temperature perfect in the sense of they could play without sweating but it was still warm.

"Spike!" Jake called and y/n jumped, pushing the ball with a harsh slap, the ball landing at Sally's feet who groans.

"I couldn't get my hand out in time ya cu-" Sally begins, but Jamie shoves her, the boy chuckling.

"Rotate." y/n adds, skipping from the court to umpire so her friend Melanie could have a go, they were an odd number today, with Sally, Jake, Mikey, Jamie and y/n.

y/n was watching the game when she saw her, a girl walking in shorts, her shoes in her hand watching them play, watching y/n shout out suggestions as they did.

The two met eyes, both blushing slightly as they did so. y/n chocked on her own spit, turning to bend and grab her water to take a long swig.

The girl was beautiful, she was stunning, and she was walking toward y/n. The panic that flooded through y/n's body was instant when she noticed the girl coming over.

"Hi." The girl smiled.

"Gd'evening." y/n hummed, watching as Mikey tried to spike but Sally manages to block it.

"Looks like fun." the girl says, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"Oh, it is, but we're an uneven amount today - so I'm sat out for now." y/n explains.

"Well, if you guys can teach me, I can play?" The girl offers and y/n grins, she offers her hand to the beautiful girl.

"y/n." She introduces and the girl smiles.

"Mary." The girl smiles, shaking y/n's hand.

"Right listen up dick-heads." y/n calls, stopping the game but Jamie does roll his eyes at her. "If we can teach Mary how to play, she'll join in." y/n explains, Mary smiling sheepishly.

"Awesome." Jamie nods.

"Yeah great!" Mikey grins kindly.

"Sounds good." Sally adds.

"Let's do this!" Jake finishes and the group start.

They first dissect the game, Mary smiling as they explain what happens and the different type of hits. Then once they had done that, they taught her the positions of the court.

Mary was funny, she had a really pretty smile and y/n couldn't help but have to shut her eyes every few minutes to try and fight the thoughts about Mary's body.

Sally kept looking over at y/n, smirking with a knowing look in her eyes as she tried to focus on Mary and helping her play. Once Mary had warmed up a bit, y/n was teaching her how to serve.

"You want to keep your hands strong, pushing from the shoulder not the wrist." y/n explains.

"Okay." Mary nods. "Like this?" She then asks and y/n hums, moving behind her to guide her hands.

"Like this." y/n continues, not noticing the way her lips brushed Mary's ear, or the way the girl had stopped completely, trying not to sink into the warmth of y/n's chest.

"Okay." Mary breathed, Sally and Jake both sent each other a look, rolling their eyes as y/n stepped away, Mary looking back slightly with red cheeks.

Mary pushed the ball in the air, keeping her hand hard and pushing through it with her shoulder, the serve going over the net easily which caused the group to cheer.

"You got it." y/n grins and Mary smiles.

"Team time!" Sally yells. She then looks around. "Oh it is so girls vs boys." Sally then says and Jake laughs jokingly.

"Oh this will be so easy. You hit like a girl." He teases his girlfriend.

"And you whine like a boy." Sally teases him back making Jake pause and look at her confused.

"I'm not whining." Jake begins, but y/n lightly throws the ball at his face, it bouncing off his forehead and top of his nose and back into y/n's arms, causing Jake to whine and rub his head.

Jamie sighs at him and Jake pauses, realising he had fallen for Sally and y/n's trap, they high five without looking toward each other and Mary giggles behind them.

"Okay, let's play!" Mikey says, jumping up and down excitedly.

Over the next hour it was obvious the teams were very well matched, they were neck and neck in terms of victorious games and as they played the decider, they were once again a point in difference.

Mary was good, she was quick and seemed to have very good stamina, she was athletic and strong, y/n could see that in the way her muscles tensed when she jumped for a ball or hit one.

Ten minutes before their final game, Mary had taken her top off so she was wearing her swimsuit, and while y/n and her friends were already like that, y/n's mouth dropped.

Sally snorted as y/n looked away from Mary's toned arms and exposed back, she tried to ignore the giggles coming from Sally as y/n internally panicked.

Now, they were on the last game and y/n just knocked the ball over the net, Jamie running forward to hit it up and trying to get it over, y/n tipped it over again, Jake running forward to get it.

Then as it came back over, Mary spiked it into the back of the court, the ball bouncing as Mikey squealed in the hope it would help him get it.

y/n and Sally cheer, y/n moving over to pull Mary into a hug, ignoring the way Mary's hands feel on the bottom of her exposed back. Sally joins in on the hug, the three girls cheering.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it you won." Jake says and y/n laughs flipping him off as she grabs her bag.

"Whose up for drinks?" She asks and everyone's hands go up other than Mary. "You coming?" y/n asks, offering her hand.

"That okay?" Mary asks and the loud sound of 'yes; and 'of course' comes from the group.

"Come on, first round on me." y/n adds with a smile and Mary grins.

"Okay." She chuckles and takes y/n's hand, blushing as y/n squeezes it slightly, but Mary keeps their fingers looped as they walk away.

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y/n just posted on her story x3

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maryfowlerrr just posted on her story x3

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twitter/X

username1: YOOOOOO anyone seen Mary's story?

username2: the one with THE GIRL???? 😩😩

username3: who is she???

username4: she's HOT 😰😰

username5: ^^^^^

username6: I FOUND HER - she's @y/n 😌😌

username7: you are quickkkkkk!! 😙

username8: 🤣🤣

see more comments...

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The evening had now faded into very early morning, Mary and y/n were the only ones left, walking along the beach, talking about everything.

Mary explained to the group what she did and they were all mightily impressed. Sally and Jake went on to explain they were in university with y/n which was how they met and that Mikey ran a parkour park with his family.

"I just like being with kids, and I love beach sports." y/n shrugs, Mary smiling softly as y/n got bashful about what she wanted to do.

y/n had always loved the beach, she assumed it was because she was Australian through and through, but really she just loved the beach.

So, y/n had been at university for business studies and sports science, hoping to run a beach sports club for children once she got out, teaching surfing, volleyball, body boarding, the works.

"I think it sounds like a great idea." Mary promises. "You could even teach soccer." She adds, nudging y/n's shoulder and making her laugh.

"I don't know about that, I'm no Matilda." She teases Mary who rolls her eyes. "I hope you have enjoyed today, I'm sure being on Christmas break means you're meant to relax, so I hope we helped." y/n tells Mary who smiles.

Mary had come home during the break in the WSL, wanting to be with her family for Christmas and New Years, but she would soon be heading back off to the UK.

"You did. I really enjoyed today." Mary smiles.

"Good." y/n nods. Mary looks over at her, the two now back in their tops and watching the sea as the clock neared 2 am.

"You're really pretty." Mary said quietly, a soft smile on her face as she admired y/n's side profile, the girl turning to face Mary.

"So are you." y/n smiled shyly.

"Could we maybe spend some more time together?" Mary asks. "Just us, before I go?" She then asks and y/n smiles holding out her hand for Mary to take, which she does.

"I'd really like that." y/n nods and Mary grins, blushing slightly as she moves to put her head on y/n's shoulder.

"I'd really like it too." Mary says and y/n smiles out at the ocean.

"I'm really glad you decided to walk down the beach today Fowler." y/n chuckled and Mary giggled.

"So am I." Mary agreed.

The two sat there for a bit longer, sharing whispers and giggles before they got up and started to walk back to Mary's, hands linked as they moved through the quiet streets around them.

Once they got to Mary's door, the two stood talking softly for a moment, longer, eyes drinking each other in as much as they could, despite having already exchanged numbers and arranged to meet tomorrow.

"Good night Mary." y/n smiled softly and Mary pecked her cheek. "You missed." y/n hummed and Mary giggled, leaning up to peck y/n on the lips.

y/n moved her hand, cupping the back of Mary's neck to keep their lips together for just a moment longer, y/n had been thinking of doing this the second she had joined the volleyball game.

The two pulled away and y/n couldn't help but grin as Mary blushed, y/n let her hand leave the back of Mary's neck to run over her pink cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow, pretty girl." y/n promises Mary and the girl nods before y/n winks and walks away, looking back just once to see Mary jumping up and down in front of her door.

y/n smiled, looking away and walking home, suddenly deciding she was very glad for volleyball.

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END

#woso #woso x reader #woso x y/n #social media woso #woso community #woso soccer #australian women #australia #the matildas #thetillies #mary fowler #mary fowler x y/n #mary fowler x reader #mary fowler imagine #volleyball #beach day

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msfbgraves · 6 months ago

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i don't care about the darkness or the age difference of silverusso. i actually absolutely love the badgood nature of it and the, like you said, gothic sensuality of the pairing. definitely an all time favourite fan pairing of mine!

Me three!! I was a bit shocked when I discovered it after S4 how deeply non-shippers resented it at the time and how actively they judged the shippers for loving it. Honestly, if it's a NOTP, I completely understand - some things give you dopamine overload, others don't and we're all built different. But never before was I hesitant to post fic under my pen name and instead went Anon because I felt I might get hate. Things have calmed down now, luckily, but I still don't even post my silverusso posts with the tags terry silver or daniel larusso, as not to set people off who might not want it across their dash in any form. And that's quite unique for this fandom, in my experience.

I'm just so glad I know that actors had no problem going there,that TIG has been so supportive of fandom for Terry and that Ralph doesn't mind a dark story either. Not that the actors should feel obliged to interact with our output, but if they don't mind going there, if the canon doesn't mind suggesting a bond between them, well, why shouldn't I do the same? Daniel got lured in by a bad boy and that bad boy has never stopped being obsessed with him - that's been a trope in romantic fiction for millennia. And the fact that they had Daniel marry Amanda, who basically is Terry in female form, so he got over Terry as little as Terry got over him? Gawd! I love that it also doesn't stop there - he loves flirting with Johnny, Chozen and Mike too, and shares a deep bond with them. I also like that Terry sets him off soooo much. It took one apology and in Johnny's case, no apology and he is happy as a clam with all of them, but the first thing Terry does is apologise, Daniel gets Kill Bill sirens only to sleep in the same bed as his Terry lookalike wife; with Terry throwing his entire life away to renew is obsession with Daniel - TWICE - my goodness, you two, I don't know if getting a room would make it better but you have something to sort out! What the hell happened in your past lives??? How did Terry never find love again? Before Daniel, he had this deep bond with Kreese and a harem of cronies to play with and after Daniel he tries to conform, be worthy of him (?) and ditches Kreese??? Twice???? There's so much going on and none of it is normal, and though I completely see the appeal of Lawrusso and ship it gladly, Daniel didn't marry a Johnny lookalike. Also I like that when Daniel gets coquettish other men are always flustered, Terry is like, 😎😋 which is the only time that anyone has played an Uno-reverse card against a LaRusso charm attack. And that's interesting! And sexy! And Daniel keeps seeking Terry out to challenge him! And I just feel that even if they never spoke again, Daniel would let Terry fly him to some private island for a week of deeply aggressive hatesex, some cuddling, and a million protestations of "this never happened, don't call me again, when are you free?" With Terry saying: "You'll know, darlin'. Be good for me."

#silverusso

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princess-perfection · 2 years ago

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from "The Chic Diet"

THINSPIRATION

“Sweat is just fat crying”

“Do not reward yourself with food—you're not a dog”

“Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels”

“Do it for the thigh gap”

“Coffee, smokes and cold Diet Cokes”

“Hip bones and collarbones” “Eating isn't very Chanel”

Ohmigod, reblog, right? Every chic girl, no matter what her age, is obsessed with thinspo and fucking eats that shit for dinner. It's super satiating. There's a different type of thinspiration or fitspiration for whatever kind of mood you might be in, too. Those 13-year olds on Tumblr have really got you covered.

Feeling lazy? Go read some ridiculous inspirational quotes about “doing today what you won't regret in one year”. Er, guess I should go for a run now. Feeling hopeless? #Beforeandafter! Feeling ravenous? Go on an infinite scroll-fueled journey through a neverending compendium of candid photos of runway models. Ooh, Frida looks super skinny there. Gawd, look at Anja's hips. Abbey Lee's cheekbones—I die. And Vlada's clavicles? So jelly.

When you are really unable to drown out the annoying bitch that is your empty stomach, head for the darker side of thinspo. All of those angled shots of thigh gaps and artsy snaps of ribcages are really effective for quelling your appetite and making you hate yourself. These girls mean serious business. Gawd, I wish I had that kind of dedication.

Ooh, that one's kind of extreme. Like, I can literally see her bones, and not in the good way. Holy shit, her spine is like that of a fucking Stegosaurus. And, whoa, let's scroll past these uber quickly. Um, are those types of GIFs even allowed? They're kinda porn-y. Okay, now that's just porn.

Uh, I didn't really need to see your Post-Impressionist suicide collage note, spiraling-down-to-85lb, whoever the hell you are. Talk about sadsies. Er, what's with the razorblades? No, don't do that! Ohmigod, why are people taking pictures of blood? Is that a dead person?! Um, close window.

Ugh, now I really need a Xanax. So upsetting.

...But those shoulder blades that I just reblogged are totally my thinspiration. Ooh, let's go look at the tags for Alexa Chung and Snejana Onopka. Ohmigod, this blog is totes amaze—follow! And, like, did you see that picture of that girl's legs in those adorable knee-high socks? Gawd, I'm such a heifer. Time for a 5-day water fast!

#i want to be sk1nny #not pr0 just for me #ed but not sheeran #ed bllog #tw ed vent #tw ed diet #eating problems #e4ting dis0rder #tw ed in the tags #ed disorder #th11n$p0 #th1n$po #thin inspiration #tw ana diary #an0r3xia #anarec1a #ana trigger #tw ana related

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weaselbeaselpants · 1 year ago

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See, Viv and everything she makes is the golden standard in my book for "media ur in a lovehate relationship with" because GAWD do I love it when her work nails because I totally get the appeal and tha shamelessnes and gaudiness and the reliance on putting more weight behind the characters than what's actually there(from the fan pov). I dig it. But then all the really annoying writing/worldbuilding/design things hit at the same time as that and the whole ride stops from going 'alright; appreciate the effort' into full "I'm here for the brandonrogers sparkledogs baby throw that shit on me like it's 2012 FUCK"

I WOULD love to ventvibe that dumby fan discussion that is criticism in the same way that I can say "centaurworld s2 was lacking but I loved it" to a crowd of people who're just as shameless and enjoying of the dumb shit they like as me....but then the stans come in and have to drag my comments out for the creators to see like it's their business (it's not) and scorn me for taking everything in the writing+world building either too seriously or not seriously enough, because of how THEY see the canon.

"why would you watch it if you don't like it uwu"

I DO like it...but thanks for being such a gatekeeper. Now I don't like it. Helluvaverse stans are like that scene in Cinderella where the stepsisters tear up Cinderella's dress. In your effort to ask why I should care, you're really making me ask "why do you have to care that I don't share your exact feelings??" Use your goddamn critical skills and determine if I'm ever actually making any targeted callouts threats or unneeded shade - then get the claws out if I definitely do that. But I'm not. If I just post dumb shit on my own blog about what I feel about the thing you like, it's not ur fucking business especially when I use the right tags to avoid u.

#helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical

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nattyontherun · 8 months ago

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More On To Oblivion:

hi-ho, can't sleep so since i've posted the fic already, short as it is right now, i thought hey! lemme just do some explaining for why the fuck it's the way it is?? that way i make my job less hard with the writer-y bits!

(i can't sleep so i'm talking,,,, shhh i didn't say that)

On the Rating:

thinking of changing that, actually . next chapter, so ch3, will be more of the same - build up for the plot at large which is, ngl, a wee bit more complicated than i thought it would be in writing ch1. i don't have a hard and fast, bullet pointed skeleton for every chapter but i've got a very generalized outline of things i want happening... and the fic being rated for Teens feels lacking. no it absolutely is lacking.

would it be disingenuous to leave it at T until the plot changes up enough to warrant a level up? or should i change the rating now and leave everyone to wonder at my justification as the fic (very slowly, UGH) progresses? questions, questions and no answers in sight as yet.

the cast!

unlike in HF where we really did just have like, two MAIN main characters in shisui and sasuke, to oblivion has an ensemble cast🙏 the taggings are listed in order of both how much of the character we'll see in-fic and how much we'll focus on them. where HF was all about growth and healing with minimal outside interference, this fic is... well it has a plot🥹

in one of those oneshots i wrote after HF, there's this scene where shisui rants up a storm at sasuke about konoha, how rotten it can get yk? just, having to live in the village knowing that the truth of your family's murder has been suppressed to keep the peace - when the "peace" used to justify that extermination didn't even last more than a handful of years. this fic directly confronts that. actually, it's specifically because every single character engages in the village whether as the leader, in kks' case, or as proponents to its growth and success post-war, its kind of a necessity that everybody has an opinion about what goes on yk?

i feel like ppl who came into the fic expecting romance and fucking are gonna be disappointed by that sjshsjshshsh there's gonna be SOME of that, but very minimally, and right at the end lmao. fic subscribes to the idea that there is no room for personal growth within self and relationships in an environment in perpetual turmoil lmao

the polycule 💃

it's still happened lmaooooo, like i just get crazier about the idea the more i sit with it! though, i forgot to say in the AN, and i'm too much of a sleepy cat to go back and edit it in, but i meant to mention that kakashisasu(???!!!ship name???!!!) isn't gonna be like a right angle. like... the dots connect in all directions despite how things are playing out rn! 🙏

i will say, however, that development for each relationship on a personal, one on one level, is different between each pairing because yk, they enter the story in different stages of their lives with different agendas and opinions abt each other. kkss are halfway in love already, but kkshs probably need to fight it out for another several dozen chapters before they can even stand to look each other in the eye without wanting to kill smth and that's not even touching shsasu who haven't!! even!! met up yet!!! (gawd what did i get myself into?? lmao😭)

the timeline

woof. the timeline! WOOF! HF had the benefit of sticking incredibly close to just one stream of happenings in a very linear format,,,, to oblivion? not so much. the past, whether it's ten years ago, during the fourth war or even just prior to the fic happening is AS important to the story as the story itself, unfolding. if i decided to tell this fic in a linear fashion, a, it would be very boring and retrace too much of canon and b, it would be very LONG. like staggeringly long, enough that i'd probably tire of writing the fic long before i even reached where we are right now in the fic - there is SO MUCH yet to uncover

what i will say is that canon largely stays the same except for some staple fanons of mine, some seen in HF, and others very specifically for this AU. for the obvs staples, there's madara is final baddie and no VOTE2 so no losing arms for either of my babies - god forbid. the major deviation from HF is that i've reduced how debilitating Ssk's mental health issues (if you will) can be in presenting themselves, though we do have some of it cropping up within the fic if you're the type who reads very line by line. there's also, ofc, the fact that shisui has been ALIVE for all this time - but i'll save all the explaining for that to shisui when the time is appropriate.

but yes, it's because the past matters SO MUCH for how this fic develops that i really saw no other way to progress with it than mixing everything up. and i do mean EVERYTHING. what i will say is that there are certain periods where we can kinda cluster scenes together to form an idea of how all this shit is happening only Now.

war/between canon era: so far we only got one scene from here, from ch2

pre-tribunal, post-war - a LOT of scenes fall here, so it's broken up even further into two periods: 1. while sasuke is incarcerated post 4th war and 2. after he's left incarceration but before the tribunal (ch1 has a LOT of afterward scenes, in particular)

pre-massacre: these scenes will tend to be more kkshs focused so happy hunting for when there's more of them!

pre-trial, present day after shisui appears: this is the main storyline and will be the easiest to follow, go figure!

pre-trial, immediately post-tribunal: i've only written perhaps a scene or two(?) from this period, i don't see it cropping up as much as the others because it's only there specifically for relationship and character building. i'm squeezing a lot of post-canon pre-fic character development in to explain away why some of our faves may be acting a wee ooc, and i can't begin to explain how consequential the tribunal is, personally and politically for all of team seven oh lawd😭

i can't stress enough that i drafted much of the bedrock of this fic immediately after HF,,,, but while my intention (heh, hehe) (translate what the characters before "to oblivion" stand for, okay, its funny i swear!) remains the same as what it was then, my focus has become more... hm, exacting. sharpened.

writing is an inherently personal affair, i think. to write is to put meaning to the thoughts that swim around your head, whether that's by poetry or prose, through the guise of imagery or character work. i write fic because i like writing fic, and wanna be able to read work that satisfies me personally. i've got an itch in my brain and to oblivion has become, essentially, an outlet for my thought process. so if there's anything you find in it that speaks of a very particular kinda way of thinking, shall we say, keep poking at it. i very much am having a conversation with you.

and that's a wrap, i have a shift in seven hours and i desperately need sleep sjsjsshhsshsh

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #hearthfire verse #to oblivion #uchiha sasuke #hatake kakashi #uchiha shisui #uzumaki naruto #and everyone else i tagged in fic that i can't quite remember rn #meta about fic?#fic-splanation!#i just wanted to write smth up okay #thinking thots means more gets wrote #this fic has nuance #and tries for anarchy #will i succeed in my agenda of making everybody cry?#more than likely!#you did not just read that mwa mwa #or did you?

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rabentochter · 7 months ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks so much for the tag @arabesqueangel <3

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

239

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

1,654,908.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I used to write for Frostiron (Loki/Tony Stark).

4. Top five fics by kudos

Start from Scratch, my baby. My love. My sunshine, my boobies.

Iron doesn't rust, with the lovely STARSdidathing.

Bosom Friends with the fantastic @quietlyapocalyptic

Glorious, my kinda deserted and i do think about it still, baby.

Kairos, with STARSdidathing.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Rarely. Mainly when it's a comment left on Start from Scratch. I read them all though <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Come Home, I think? I remember lots of angry yelling there tbh.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Start from Scratch, lol. I put Tony through so much and every single reader, the happy ending there is the most appreciated and most needed.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Used to get a lot. Especially about my choices where I took my stories, or funnily enough, my metaphors because apparently people do not enjoy them. Well their bad, must suck not to have any imagination. But it's part of the reason why I stopped writing lul.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes! Absolutely love it. Absolutely sitting on my piles of filth that I've never posted and loving the ones I have posted :D

10. Craziest crossover?

Uh. Frostiron in the Percy Jackson Universe I guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yopp. I hope someone yells at you in public once that you owe them money and that your mother tells some strangers the most embarrasing stories of you :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! It's pretty cool! I'm absolutely honoured every single time

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Haha yeah. With the lovely @arabesqueangel, @amidnight--dreary, NamelesslyNightlock, STARSdidathing <3 every single one of them been a blast.

14. All time favorite ship?

Frostiron.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Glorious. Not that I don't want to. I just don't want to anymore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Sass, funny metaphors, rambling thoughts. Writing unneccesary thoughts about hands and hair, leading to smuts. Thinking up long and wild plots.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing short things. There is an inner wolf in me, demanding that I write more and more and more and more-

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Kann man machen, find ich funny.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Twilight.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Start from Scratch, lul. Possibly also to spice things up "Pure Chaos on his Trails"

I remember writing that together with Namelessly in one afternoon because we had time and gawd, it was a blast lul. Jesus, that's been the good times omfg. I miss em haha. But, yeah, unfortunately that time's over but hell yeah, do I cherish my writing days. Maybe I actually find my muse and desire to write and post again haha.

Thank you for the tag! Everyone who wants to, please do feel tagged and go wild!

#writers game #tag game

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tehjleck · 6 months ago

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hey, i know your anti-christian, but you made a post about if theres any proof out there. and um i’d recommend The Road To Easter. its basically all the proof abt Jesus’s resurrection! if u want to read it im sure there are pdfs or it might be at ur local library or maybe u can order it online or smthn! i get u dont like christianity, and as a former atheist (current follower of Jesus) i get why, truly. some christians do horrible things and are horrible people. but please take this ask at least a tiny bit seriously. thank you

You're mistaken, theist... I'm not 'anti-christian', I'm anti-perpetuating any lie that says there's a deity responsible for things happening. It's delusional.

Humans have created like 5,000 deities in our history, which goes back FAR LONGER than any christ myth. But you know that don't you? Did you know there are around 45,000 geezhus cults globally? How the hell is that 'intelligent design'?

I write fictional deities, and let me tell you - none of the ones I write would allow 45,000 different cults with different rules - Which usually came down to Jo bob disagreed with Billy Bob on how many wives gawd is ok with them having.

I have these discussions with christians most often because it's christians who are most frequently proselyting on tumblr dot com and begging for attention.

My tag doesn't specifically say 'christianity is a scam' - it says 'religion is a scam' ... it doesn't say 'your christian god is a fiction' ... it says 'your god is a fiction' because ALL religions are a means of controlling people. ALL of the 'gods' of human history are fictional characters meant to support their narrative.

Just like you and every other christian would say Ra, Zeus, Odin - are all myths... so is your geezhus.

I'm not going to read your book suggestion, theist. I write my own fictional deities. Try not to force yours down someone elses throat.

#religion is a scam #your god is a fiction #atheist

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cosmic-ships · 9 months ago

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Confession: I really hate this website. I don't understand how to make friends or why some things get interaction and some don't and although it's the only place with self shippers, I am so lonely most of the time I think I should just leave because what's the point? I also don't have any art or writing skills so can't post anything like that and my husband's world is not popular or one where other people self ship so it's not like I can even get into fandom stuff. Just so tired. I miss Livejournal (outing my age, lol). I GOT that. I just want people to know and remember he and I, we were, we loved. Our love existed.

anonymously confess something to you.

Awe, I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. You don't have to have the skill to draw or write. I used to be god-awful at both art and drawing but I just...practiced whenever I was able too. Practice makes progress after all, I didn't care if my writing or art was bad in comparison (not that you should compare) but I created it because it makes me happy!

Again, it's ultimately up to you on how you want to do things and in no way am I implying you should do it my way!!

You can always just love post! For a long while and I mean like... two years I hardly produced anything. All I did really was reblog other mutuals art/wrting and occasionally I would make a post just hollering about my f/o. The good thing about that is that it doesn't have to be coherent you can literally type "LSDKJFLKSDJFLDSK MY F/O HHHHHHHH" and people would like it because you're just screaming that you love them!

I remember Livejournal, I never used it myself but I do remember it. I guess in a way you got to put yourself out there. interact with some people either through tags of something they made and you rbd or like participate in sending asks to people. I am in no means "well known" but I found some people who like to put up with my annoying ass /lh

I don't really talk to people privately either, its all mainly through dash communication and asks/asks games.

I understand that it can be hard and frustrating but there are a multitude of different ways of showing your f/o you love them and just a gentle reminder that you're here for you and your ships and if you find some people a long the way who also support your ships, that's a bonus! <3

I know quite a few who have obscure f/o and while yeah content can be hard to come by, like I said there is a lot you can do from if you wanted to try drawing/writing, moodboard making, playlist creation, pintrest board creation, loveposting (Even if it is keysmashes followed by 100 ilus lol)

I'm sorry if I went on a tangent, if you fell asleep partway through I don't blame you! lol I just wanted to kind of reassure you in a sense that there are ways of loving your f/o and showing that love. You don't NEED to make content of them to prove your love or your ships worth and you're here because you want to share some form of love for them right? You're doing that for you and because you want too! Eventually, the right people will find you.

I've never actively looked for friends on the hellsite, people migrated towards me and now I have a lot of lovely mutuals who I can also call friends. It didn't happen overnight (I've been here since like....2017? a least self shipping, been here longer than that tho) but it will happen.

I just be super unapologetic about this insane amount of love I feel and whenever I feel the need I scream via a text post haha

I'M R A M B L I N G (WRAP IT UP KADEN GAWD!) /j /lh

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated/upset with your experience on the hellsite and I really do with all my heart anon, hope that it turns around for you <3 Please take care!

#I'm a rambler! : D hhhhh #anonnies;#long post

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sheshkastudios · 5 months ago

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INTRO POST >:]

Hiiiiiiiiii!!! I'm Sheshkabob (not pronounced Sheesh, it's Shesh!), you can call me Sheshka or Shesh.

I use any pronouns ^-^

This is my tumblr blog for my YouTube channel https://youtube.com/@sheshkastudios?si=9EWuP5LYEuYkDB0H

(❗️NO BEING FREAKY 😡 DO NOT SEND ME ANYTHING NSFW THANK YOU❗️(some of my art might be slightly suggestive sometimes tho) )

I will be posting sneak peaks of future videos, W.I.Ps, finished art, funny screenshots i took, dumb things, probably pictures of my dog, sometimes i vent here and things about my OCs and their lores. I'll sometimes reblog things if I think it is important or if it's art that I like

Tagging system:

For reblogs: #~reblog~ #reblog

My art: #My art #doodles #~finished drawing~ #~finished art~ #~finished animation~ #~wip~ #~doodles~

My oc stuff: #°my ocs° #my oc #my sona

(I tag each drawing/post about my OCs with their names) #°Viny° #°sila #☆him☆ #☆°nara°☆ #☆♡makia♡☆ #♤ace spaden♤ #◇blizz◇ #◇grayson◇ #🤢galilea🤢 #■ekon■ #¤buzz static¤ #♡jay♡ #•nev• #▪︎zuri▪︎

Asks: #anon ask #ask #asks

For my original posts I tag it as #sheshka studios so if you don't want to see the stuff I've reblogged just scroll through that tag

other: #~sneak peak~ #~silly~

please feel free to send me asks about my OCs! Especially about Ace . I love getting asks and I'd be happy to yap about my OCs

Also pleaaassseee tag me if you make fanart of my OCs, you have no idea how absolutely happy I get whenever there is anything related to my OCs and seeing fanart of them just makes me feel really really happy

I just really like my OCs

I ask you to please subscribe to my friends! I'm really proud of them :)

I do have other tumblr blogs but i don't really like mentioning them too often.

might add more things to this intro in the future

Have a great day/night ❤ remember to drink water

If you are an irl friend and you are seeing this. No you aren't. Shoo shoo, why are you looking at my cringe channel and cringe tumblr blog. I can feel you judging me from the other side of the screen. *HISSSS* *HISSSSSSSS* 🤺🤺 Back off! Back off I say 🤺🤺

#Intro post!#introduction #pinned post #Sheshka Studios #Idk man #Please send Asks

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sofasoap · 2 years ago

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First of all, thank you @saltofmercury for completing my silly request! and Gosh, I couldn't stop laughing after reading the story. Everytime Soap's dialogue came up I have his Scottish accent talking in my head.

now where should i start.. ( warning: this is gonna turn into a HC post lol sorry )

let's start with Ghost

poor Simon, he must be wondering what has he done ( Doesn't remember breaking a mirror or walking under a ladder lately..) or his enemy may have cursed him , but instead of cursing him to seven hell, he been cursed to have not one, but TWO MacTavish annoying the shit out of him.

Kinda low key imrpessed by Mini MacTavish nearly out drank him.

Actually got a bit jealous with Mini MacTavish's trying to flirt hardout with König.

But really likes Mini Mactavish more like a big brother love than anything else.

now everyone is gonna see Ghost is the big bro, Soap is the annoying middle child and Mini is the youngest tagging along together with the middle child annoying the shit out of Ghost.

Soap

regretting bringing his little Sis along.

Why is she trying to flirt with everyone?!!

oh Gawd, first Ghost, now König?!!! Ma and Pa is gonna kill him if he doesn't stop her.

would rather have his sister going after Ghost than König , if worse come to worse. He knows Ghost wouldn't dare hurt his sister.

begged Simon that he will shut his mouth for a week if he go and "rescue " his little sis from König

Mini MacTavish

First Ghost now König? we can see her type.. big, strong, tall man, someone makes her feel safe.

Why is Johnny stopping me? I'm sure if he mixes with these people.. they must be safe to interact with.

that Massive guy I really wanna hug him... he's so cute when he gets nervous playing with his hair.

König

.. what?

... wwhhhat???

a girl comes up talking to him not scared, saying i'm cute?

what do I do What do I do?

10 min later, König took a deep breath , trying to suppress his anxiety and walk up towards Mini , who is blocked off by two human fences ( AKA Soap and Ghost ) Mini : OH heeey!!! you decided to join us!

Soap & Ghost: OH No... Dont you DARE come close to my sister/ ARE YOU SURE / DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING YOURSELF INTO / Your ears will fall off with her constant talking Mini pushing the two boys away, give König a big hug : Awww.. you are even better than I imaging! so comfy...Wanna come stay with me tonight so i can hug you bit longer? ( and König totally froze ) Soap & Ghost : NO! While Gaz standing on the sideline, eating his imaginary popcorn watching the drama unfold.. anyway, I aboslutely love the story, thank you again!!!!!

* waving* heelllloooo, just want to say thank you for the “ break in” series! I love König and Civilian!readers, there’s not enough non military reader stories out there so i am always hunger for more.can I put in a request? I don’t know why this idea pops into my head and not sure if Soap has a younger sister, imagine his sister had a crush on König from meeting him during military family day ( im sure theres no such event lol) or some off duty team outing. Something like..

Sister: who’s that really big guy there johnny?

Soap, knowing his sis too well : oh no you don’t.. dont go there darling

Sis: but he is so cute like a huge costco teddy bear..very huggable

All the while König overheard the who convo, flattered +embarrassed + in disbelief

Thank you! If it’s too much just ignore me its ok 😂

Pairing: König x f!reader ft. Johnny + Ghost

Summary: You tag along to Johnny's party.

A/N: Thank you @sofasoap

"The Favorite MacTavish"

“You’re still on the fastest route.”

The navigation on loop. You focused on what you could tone out Johnny with.

Looking out the window, a blur of cars turned into a blur of bricks, that in turn ended up to just dirt and then open land. Dust. You’ve been sitting as a passenger princess the entire ride there. Johnny but insisting on lecturing you about what was expected of you.

It felt more like briefing you if you were being honest.

“I’m dead serious ya hear?” Johnny had turned and pointed a finger to you.

“You got to tone it down with Ghost.” “You were off ya trolley last time, I told ya to leave the poor man alone.”

You smiled. “It wasn’t anything too bad.”

Your mind flashed back to the last get together Johnny and his friends had. You had met the legendary “Ghost” that Johnny had worked with. A man with a skull face covering, taller and larger than any other of his teammates. A deep set British accent. (You and Johnny still argue if it’s Southern or Manchester.)

Ghost kind of bothered you that he was at a party. The man had radiated big fuck off vibes from you. It made no sense for him to be here.

All you saw was… someone crying for attention.. Or even a little competition.

You approached Ghost with a deal, if he were to out drink you, you would shut Johnny up the entire night, and if you were to outdrink him, he would join the group for 20 minutes.

The little game turned dangerous and it wasn’t until you had almost bested him in the tenth beer of the night that he almost tapped out. Almost beat by a MacTavish. It didn’t help that you were flirting with him a bit when he started to become sloppy, which you think became in your best interest.

One of the other teammates had lost it.

“Ghost is going to lose!”

Ghost looked loopy. Not even his skull painted covering could hide that. He ended up going to the cooler, bringing out 3 beers, chugging them one by one, and then remained in his stoic composure. It was truly a sight.

All of Johnny’s teammates never let that one go.

“Can’t believe Johnny’s little sister thought she could out drink Ghost.”

“I can’t believe she had him stuttering. Never heard the LT at a loss for words.”

“I think I like his sister more than Johnny.”

Johnny never lived it down, and never heard the end of it from Ghost.

“I actually don't know why I bothered bringing ya.” He continued.

You missed your older brother. It was hard seeing him a few times a year. With any opportunity to see him, including riding along to party with his teammates, you took. It helped that he had a soft spot for you.

“I won't make any promises, but I’ll leave Ghost alone.”

It wasn’t until an hour later that you had arrived. You remembered what Johnny had said. “No teasin’ Ghost.” “No trying to out drink anyone.” “Behave!”

You both walk up into a small beige house. There’s a plain white metal gate in front of it, but no live plants, just dirt. Endless dirt, dust, and rocks surrounding it, and a few other SUVs, Jeeps, and sedans.

You walk inside, right behind Johnny, mumbling in your head—

“No drinking, no ghosting.”

How annoying.

Once inside, you’re greeting everyone behind Johnny.

Gaz looks at you. “Well if it isn’t Ghost’s favorite little sister!”

You smile. “No ghosting tonight.”

Immediately looking toward Johnny, who was nodding in approval.

It isn’t until much later when you're inside that you see him, along with a brand new set of faces that you aren’t familiar with.

There’s a lady with a small ponytail, some guy on a tablet and sunglasses on, and a guy who's got a black face mask on. This particular individual is more distant, pushed further away from everyone else. Looks big, bigger than Ghost.

He’s not alone, he’s got some other guy next to him talking about some game he was playing on his phone.

“Steamin’ Jesus” you think to yourself. How did this massive guy end up here?

You grab a hold of Johnny,

“Johnny, who’s that over there?”

Johnny had barely taken a sip of his 3rd beer before his eyes went wide.

“Aw Jesus Christ, no you don’t. Don’t you dare go there.” he says, grabbing a hold of your wrist.

“Oh for fucks sake, I’m just asking who the guy is!”

“Haud yer weesht! It's the same ol’ script with every single one of my teammates I swear to god.”

“Is he new?”

“He’s not with us.” He stops for dramatic effect.

Whispers- “That group over there is a different team.”

Oh.

The big guy is holding an electrolyte drink as opposed to any alcohol. He takes up the entire chair and he’s polite, nodding his head to his teammate, but quickly glancing back and forth towards you and Johnny.

“And I swear to god, you better not think of stepping over there, I’ll get Ghost to restrain you.”

You raised your eyebrows at him.

“You said no Ghostin…”

Johnny pulled you a little closer to him, then quietly (his case of quiet) says

“Do you know what those guys do?”

“Military?”

“Christ on a bike… those there are contracted killers.”

You snort.

“Yeah fuckin' right Johnny and what do you call yourself? Saints?”

“I swear you’re so daft. Don’t go near them, stay with what you know.”

“I just want to introduce myself to them, it would be rude no?”

The guy in the mask looked harmless. He wasn’t drinking, he was among friends, he was simply waiting for someone to approach him.

The entire night you keep thinking of ways to get over it. You’ve got plenty of liquid courage in you now though.

“Just because he’s bigger than the rest of you, you’re intimidated.” The liquid courage was bubbling up inside you.

“Fucking hell, would you drop it?” Johnny says

“I just want to talk to him, Johnny!”

You made your way over to him.

Johnny’s eyes looked like they could burst out of their sockets.

“Hi, how are you? You know what, you don’t seem bad at all, you just seem big, but that's ok.”

The man looked at you wide eyed, beneath his mask formed some crinkle surrounding his eyes.

“I just wanted to let you know that you don't intimidate me, but quite frankly you encourage me to give you a hug.”

He smiled now, you could see it.

“You’re like a huge teddy bear even, have you been to the states? They got a whole warehouse full of teddy bears the size of you.”

A small laugh from him and his fingers running through his hair.

“In fact, I kind of wish I had you as my own size for a teddy bear… what do you say?”

Before he could respond, you were yanked up, thrown over someone’s shoulders.

“That’ll do mini MacTavish..” A British accent. Ghost was hauling you away.

You felt dizzy, and kept your eyesight on the big man.

“I MEAN it! You are not intimidating you're just in need of a hug.”

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siennamon · 5 years ago

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me, rising from the grave: PET SHOP AU WIDOJEST

#widojest #anyway jester totally has a crush on the cute pet store manager and keeps visiting the store because nugget keeps wrecking his toys #or so she claims #my art #sorry i only have time for a doodle!! ):#and gawd i cant draw backgrounds to save my life #why do my posts never show up on mobile tags #specifically just the widojest tags like my last 4 posts never showed up on the tag i'm sad you guys

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calvin-af-crone · 3 years ago

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Over on Twitter...

Something strange is happening to me over on Twitter. I don't understand it & I'm hoping one of my readers has some insight.

Background: I follow an odd assortment of people including a reporter over in Charlotte, NC. I won't waste your time explaining why I follow the guy because it's irrelevant to the situation. I rarely comment but I show my support for some of the people I follow by routinely giving a like to their posts. Back on 17 December 2021, this reporter posted about the arrest of a father & son for suspected Covid-Relief fraud. I didn't comment & only "liked" it.

The problem:

See that "21 others"? I'm included. What she must have done was tag every darn person who just happened to "like" the original post. It certainly didn't get much attention at the time. Maybe she seriously wanted every one of us to see her rebuttal. I saw the Notification, read her post, checked her links then shrugged if off.

Then I got mentioned again—TWICE!

Martinez used the same list of tags. THAT feels malicious. See how many "likes" & re-tweets her first post got. That's how many Notifications I got! I never saw this family's story in my Trends, which include whatever is going in the state where I live. So that's weird. This New York Today article was nowhere to be found when I searched deep into Trending Topics. A couple hours later she did it again!

See those 62 re-tweets! I stopped counting how many notifications I received after it went over 800! Good gawd, yesterday I felt harassed!

Also yesterday, 2 innocent bystanders like me replied to a growing longer list of targets, "Stop tagging me!" And that set off a huge round of notifications from people liking & re-tweeting their protests & commenting about how stupid they are. The notifs have trickled down to only a few today but I'm still getting notifications today for tweets that tagged me for no good reason.

Does this kind of thing happen often? Were they trying to make a Trend happen by saying it was happening? I dunno. I still haven't seen it Trending. If this should ever happen to me in the future, what steps should I take to cut myself out of it?

If anyone reading this knows, please reply to this post or contact me via Chat.

#Personal #Twitter #Notification swarms

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waitmyturtles · 2 years ago

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Gawd. I messaged you, @dribs-and-drabbles, to say THANK YOU for tagging me in this BEAUTIFUL piece -- it's Memorial Day here in the States, I've been with my kiddos all day, and when I peeped this piece earlier at lunch, it slammed me in the gut, because everything is SO true and SO accurate about the boundaries and guardrails that Pat was playing behind and against as he discovered himself and his life at least partly vis à vis his love for Pran.

Some quick response thoughts here, some of which I covered in my massive Bad Buddy devotional.

1) The thing about movement and place. How SPACE between Pat and his dad can give Pat the room to grow and breathe and find himself. I wish I had more time to really unwind this, but I think -- for an Asian audience and for Asian characters -- this is a much bigger deal than it is for Western audiences. Remember -- Western audiences (including Euro and Euro-centric audience, etc.) are more accustomed to the kids stepping out and away from the home. Asian families? GENERALLY SPEAKING, it's much more acceptable, and even EXPECTED quite a lot of the time, for kids to stay at home during and post-college, up until the time of marriage.

So both Pat and Pran getting the dorm rooms at Tinidee would arguably be a bit of a deal if they lived close enough to the college to have otherwise made living at home more sensible.

And Tinidee ended up being the love nest, right? Tinidee, campus, the mall, the rooftop -- all of those places became the places where Pat FOUND HIMSELF (his "oh" moment happened in the mall, right? if I'm recalling correctly?) -- away from his dad.

And I totally agree with the analysis about the big-ness and bold-ness of Ming, and how Pat was expected to EMULATE Ming. We just finished Double Savage today (I have to catch up with the finale) -- another show in which a Thai-Chinese father had a MASSIVE, MASSIVE LIFE PRESENCE over a son. There's a lot I don't know about Thai-Chinese culture, but some of which I can surmise as an Asian, and this big-ness of a father is something I wordlessly understand -- and why Pat needed to be SEPARATED and AWAY to find himself. (I touch upon this in my devotional thesis through Hegel's synthesis framework -- where a synthesis between a thesis and an antithesis needs to happen in part through movement.)

2) Speaking of family structures: it'll always slam me that PRAN GETS PAT during Pat's times of EMOTIONAL NEED. I'LL NEVER LET GO of the lunch bench scene, when Pat's been rejected by his homies, and he's sitting alone, eating lunch. Must have been the first time that happened for our Pat!

And Pran -- because Pran's AN ONLY CHILD AND USED TO READING EVERYONE IN THE ROOM, because you do that to SURVIVE as an only child, with a domineering mother like Dissaya -- SEES that Pat needs love and support, and gives it.

AND PRAN CAN DO THAT, too, because he's away from his family home -- and recognizes that he has to hold Pat down, and start making a family WITH PAT.

Ugh. It gives me the chills.

@miscellar has been talking a lot over the past few days about how PRECISE THE SERIES WAS, and I just want to say that I appreciated the finale IN PART BECAUSE -- as this piece indicates -- the growth of Pat and Pran individually AND together IS STILL HAPPENING in the world of fiction. This kind of growth happens throughout an adult life. It was not indicated to BE COMPLETE when the show ended, either for Pat and Pran (because they're separated by work) or their families (because of the continued war between the families and between sons and father/mother).

The MOVEMENT OF GROWTH IS SOMETHING Bad Buddy emphasized, and I think @grapejuicegay utterly nails this in their analysis. BEAUTIFUL PIECE.

Pat’s oh moment wasn’t the only time he’s been kind of oblivious to how he’s feeling. We saw it in ep 2 as well, where Pa had to spell out for him that he wasn’t angry over Pran trying to move out, he was feeling guilty.

And it makes sense, doesn’t it? Because Pat has never really had the space to explore his emotions. He’s always been expected to be a copy of his dad, a way for him to relive his glory days. And that means constantly being loud, being the center of attention at all times, picking fights (”I used to fight off guys from his faculty”), and constantly competing with the neighbour’s son (”we get hurt, they get hurt”).

But Pat and Pa’s relationship has always been their way out of the toxicity in the way they were raised, a way to break out of the patriarchal cycle. Pat, when his parents aren’t around, isn’t in a position to boss Pa around the way it would be expected of him (nor did he want to), and Pa helps him work through his feelings in a way he really isn’t ever given the space to.

I also think it’s relevant that Pat’s oh moment happens once him and Pran meet away from their houses because it’s the first time Pat has been away from his dad’s constant influence. Because we’ve seen the way his dad’s influence affected Pat’s behaviour.

Even in ep 1, the first time he meets Pran again he’s mostly caught off guard and likely ready to fake fight the way they used to. Until he goes home and is reminded by his dad, “we get hurt, they get hurt” and immediately tries to pick a fight with Pran at the trash cans. He stops once Pa calls him out though, and starts trying to protect Pran and create a truce.

So he’s in university, finally out from under the pressure of his father’s influence, and has Pa around pretty consistently (because really the dorm is a safe space for Pa as well). And he starts to soften. That’s how we get from “iced tea for someone so icy” Pat to walking ray of sunshine Pat. There’s a lot of Pran’s influence in there as well, but it’s so much more Pat being able to grow up (and into himself, not the image projected onto him) the moment he’s away from his dad.

And I think Pat recognises this as well. And I think Pat starts trying to create some distance with his dad.

He has to be called back home for dinner because he doesn’t go home enough, and even then he refuses to go back without Pa. Because he may not be ready to admit it even to himself yet, but he’s uncomfortable around his dad’s influence and Pa helps keep him centered.

And he’s right to be uneasy because he’s started living outside of his dad’s expectations. And the next time he goes home, his dad calls him out on it. And for someone who’s spent his entire life with approval from a parent, even if he does expect it it isn’t easy to take this sudden disapproval. But Pat’s grown up so, so much. Even though he considers doing what his dad wants, he goes back to the play instead of to rugby practice. Because he is living his own life and not his dad’s.

Except, this is ep 4 and his feelings for Pran all over again. He’s doing what feels right but he doesn’t understand why just yet. In a way this is a second oh moment for him just waiting to happen… and it happens on the beach.

The beach really is him finally coming to terms with the fact that he’s not his father and that he doesn’t want to be like him.

He’s not his father is the easy part. “He can’t fix his past and I must be the one to take it, right?” So he takes on the guilt of what Ming did to Dissaya and can’t stop apologising to Pran. Except, Pran doesn’t blame him. He didn’t do this, and Pran isn’t Dissaya, and really why would they hold onto this grudge?

It’s the not being like his father that’s difficult. Because that means finally facing the fact that his whole life he’s been influenced by Ming and he wants out. Because that’s so much introspection, and in the midst of everything going on it’s so painful. He doesn’t even want to think of his father, how can he deal with being anything like him?

And then he lashes out at Pran over wanting to call his mom because in his guilt-ridden, angry, prepared to run away brain, that’s Pran choosing his mom over him. Which means Pat really does have to take on Ming’s guilt and deal with the consequences of what his dad did. It’s a cycle of guilt and anger that he’s spiraling down.

Except, Pran chooses him. Pran was caught off guard because he didn’t think they would be staying, but Pran decides to stay, refuses to leave him behind, stays for him. He’s not choosing his mom

That should be it. Except Pat still feels guilty every time he looks at Pran.

He feels guilty whether he sees Pran sitting there at peace playing his guitar grinning up at him (choosing him) or watching Junior and his mom drive away. Because he knows Pran’s also hurting, just like he is.

But Pran’s hurt is caused by him being forced to give up something he loves, and Pat’s the one making him choose.

And suddenly, “If we get hurt, they get hurt.”

This right here is Pat realising that he’s acting just like his dad. That he’s doing what his dad would do - just because he’s hurting, it’s fine for Pran to be hurting too. And he doesn’t want to do that, he doesn’t want to hurt Pran, he doesn’t want to be like his dad.

And this is after he knows why Pran likes him - Pran likes that he tries to help people, tries to make their lives a little better. And what he’s doing here? He’s kind of destroying Pran’s dreams, isn’t he?

He knows Pran doesn’t want to stay, he knows staying here isn’t really an option at this point, so why is he hurting Pran?

“Thank you for trying to make a silly guy like me happy”

I made a photoset a while back about how every time Pran called Pat silly, it was over Pat wanting their relationship to be more open and public than Pran was ready for it to be. And as he looks at Pran buttoning up his shirt, he finally figures out exactly why he wanted to be open.

It’s the final part of him that he got from his dad - he’s always been expected to be loud, he’s always been expected to be the centre of attention. And sitting here he’s realising that what he really wants is to be the centre of Pran’s attention. And even here, with just the two of them, just Pran buttoning up his shirt for him is enough. Needing to shout it to the world is silly, because it means losing the one thing that means the most.

And he tells Pran he knows they need to go back. That he knows what Pran is giving up being here with him, and he knows Pran’s been forced into that decision before. That he’s not going to be the one to that to him, not again. This is him choosing Pran over everything he’s been taught.

And Pran cries because he understands exactly what Pat means, because of course he does. He’s never had anyone else appreciate him this much either. They both know, they’ve been around each other long enough, they can both read between the lines.

And Pran, always full of surprises, decides that they’re going to do this right, they’re going to celebrate the last time they can be this open in the foreseeable future. And Pran celebrates the fuck out of it - out of them. Pran goes and serenades Pat in front of the entire bar, and in front of Uncle Tong and Uncle Yod, both of whom know exactly who this song is for.

Of course Pat cries. Because this is an even bigger gesture than the staircase proposal. And Pran’s song?

Is love a beautiful world? Something of grandeur Is it a sky, a mountain, a sea, or some other kind of splendor

It’s everything Pat has ever thought he needed to be, what they should be.

I’ve realised what my love is about It’s something small that I just can’t live without

And here is Pran telling him that even if they can’t be as open as they want, he still loves him, can’t live without him. (”I can be anywhere as long as I’m with you”)

And then the callback to “have you pictured what it would be like if our parents weren’t enemies?”

All Pat wants is to not be asked to compete with Pran. But Pran. Pran wants his parents to accept Pat into their house, for them to sit with his parents and have his mother approve of them and to feed Pat in front of his parents.

Pran wants them to be able to be open and loud and happy and not have to hide too. He just knows that being that open doesn’t allow them to be together, so he’ll hide for as long as it means he can keep Pat. And now Pat knows that they’ve always been on the same page, that they’ll be okay.

And Pat cries one last time before they go back inside, shedding the last of his father’s influence on him. He doesn’t always have to be strong, he can let himself fall apart. That he’s not the stoic tough guy. He’s the softie who just wants the world to know he loves his boyfriend. It’s the culmination of his character arc. He’s not his father.

And because he’s not his father, he’ll do what he needs to, but he won’t bury it under a mountain of lies. They tell their families they broke up, officially they did. But they were together before they were officially together too. Just because they’re boyfriends doesn’t mean they aren’t also friends. He really did go to his room to take a work call, but if Pran is right there…

He’s just not going to force his life to look more perfect than it is, because he has nothing to be ashamed of. His worst secret? Him and his dad don’t get along too well anymore. And anyone who asks knows. Because he’s not going to do what his dad did. And he’s much happier for it.

…I just wanted to look at the red shirt scene with the context that it wasn’t a breakup and it turned into this monster. I just think it’s beautiful characterisation and learning that Pat wasn’t supposed to cry at the rooftop kiss was kind of what led me here. Also, Pat’s relationship with guilt and how he works through it across the show is fascinating. I might end up talking about it a bit more at some point (probably not, tbh, because this took me like 4 days to write out in a way I was happy with. idk how you all do words as well as you do)

#bad buddy #bad buddy the series #bad buddy meta #our skyy 2 x bad buddy #pat x pran #pran x pat #patpran #pranpat

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