#gas pills etc

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(tbh, there needs to me more fics where sirius is a pharmaceutical rep? like a drug rep who goes into hospitals?

he'd be great at it. perfect job for him.)

[shatterthefragments]

Main performer was super amazing 😁 amazing energy and vibes. Glad I went and stayed for the whole set.

I managed to find an empty bench in the back which was good bc holy shit OUCH. (Like. It’s not just my legs and back even though those are the worst)

Also funnily enough I am doing better at going up stairs than down.

The people in the back were uh. Very chatty and drunk. Through all performance times too.

And like. I get that. But even with earplugs in. It was. Very prominent.

It was very sweet though that the drunk people - even like. Stumbling and super flushed where I notice - checked in on me a few times asking if I was ok (presumably bc I sat in the same place the whole time except to go pee a couple times and only stood up for more than a moment to film the one song that I knew and came for)

And!! He played the song I knew and came for!!!

Basically I’m just not sure the local scene for what was predominantly rap is my scene? Or maybe if I had leaned against a wall near the edge closer to the floor instead maybe it would’ve been better (I would’ve fallen down actually.)

100/10 should’ve taken ibuprofen before going in but alas. And the knee brace is alright but does slide down my thigh.

Made it to the venue. I can leave if I don’t like it. I think I heard it ends at a reasonable time which is nice. I had to park over a block away which is much less nice. But at least it’s well lit (bc it’s not a great area of the city tbh)

[howtofightwrite]

i feel like, when it comes to people trying to use violence to knock people out - rather than avoiding methods that could cause permanent injury entirely, the previous anon(s) could just go for it while acknowledging the potential consequences in-writing?

so we can say that maybe, a kidnapper knocks another person out via head injury, and the KIDNAPPER doesn't care; but when the person is rescued the rescuers are worried for them because 'what do you mean you were hit in the head?!' and immediately checked for a concussion.

one could also have it so that the person doesn't know what head trauma or other bodily harm can cause and be appropriately horrified if/when they learn - or, if it's a character who uh. doesn't care for their body or health as much, they could hear this and refuse to care. follow what the character would do on that

they don't even need to actually have the person get a permanent injury. there can be a hospital scene or first-aid responder scene where they check the victim's head and go 'you are very. VERY lucky to not have a permanent brain injury from this', and insist on them to keep monitoring for any future symptoms.

there's a lot of other ways to go about knocking someone out, but iirc this will also apply to other methods of forced unconsciousness, like sleeping pills, sleeping gas or chloroform. in real life, it's always going to risk extra consequences because it involves forcing someone's bodily functions to shut down, if temporarily

and that shouldn't stop them from writing anyway, since fiction is often going to stretch the realm of belief a little with improbable situations, y'know? a lot of stories already take liberties with it. but it's both admirable and a good thing when someone wants to be more faithful to reality, regardless, so that's why i'd like to give my own thoughts.

if the person trying to find a non-lethal angle to knocking someone out is really worried, they could just make a disclaimer saying 'unrealistic depictions of violence/recovery' or 'creative liberties taken with the consequences of bodily harm' at the start of the story and go with their previous plans

but it's perfectly fine to just write as is while acknowledging the situation in-story too, is what i feel. or even have the character actually suffer the consequences. that angle is always interesting when explored.

timeskips are also a way to cheat on the recovery period, if you want it to be really realistic. imagine this scenario; a person gets knocked unconscious during a kidnapping. they wake up and manage to escape with a concussion - but they still have the concussion from the initial assault, along with other injuries during the hostage period. they are promptly hospitalised.

timeskip to several months after. the person has recovered! (or mostly recovered, depending).

a new kidnapper enters the scene! but they don't want the victim to actually be hurt, and the waiting period was hell, so they either just get their bouncer to grab them with no chance for reprieve, nab them while asleep, or threaten them via gun to head/consequences for someone else/etc to get in the car. no actual knocking out forcefully, only unconsciousness is falling asleep in the car.

consequences make for an interesting narrative too, is what i'm trying to say; and there's no need to shy away from it, but rather acknowledge that reality as fact.

I normally wouldn't light up an ask like this, but it is doing a lot of mental gymnastics to try to skirt around the central problems with violence.

So, let's start at the top: Acknowledging a problematic behavior as problematic can still result in the author endorsing that behavior, if they present the specific examples of that behavior in a positive light. If you're having characters casually knocking people out, you are endorsing inflicting extremely hazardous, and potentially life-altering injuries onto people, “but, it's okay, because I didn't kill them.”

The problem comes from an author wanting their upbeat, happy-go-lucky protagonist to also be an absolute bad ass, without interrogating the ethical issues inherent to their “heroic activities.” Worse, in many cases, they want their character to be perceived as a good person, regardless of the horrors they inflict on their fellow human beings.

The last time I covered this, I took a passing swipe at Batman, but it remains a relevant factor to consider about a lot of action hero characters. He engages in absolutely disproportionate violence against people who are engaging in criminal activity because socioeconomic factors that are beyond their control.

A lot of fictional violence gets framed in contexts where the nobility of the protagonist is preserved either because, “they don't kill people,” or, they specifically limit their violence to groups that are “socially acceptable,” targets.

In fact, you can even see an example of the latter in the listing above, with the express targeting of, “kidnappers.” Now, I have no love for human traffickers, but seriously consider for a second that this specific, highly-specialized, career path was called out as the group to engage in this behavior. I'm sorry, “why?” What is it about a kidnapper that makes them more likely to be willing to inflict harm on their victim than some other group? But, that's not the point. The point is so that when your protagonist does truly horrible things to those kidnappers, they're still “a good person,” at the end of the day. (There's also a little goofiness about kidnappers in the ask, because they care more about the physical health of their victim than most criminals would. Think about it this way, a mugger wants your wallet, and you're just an incidental obstetrical between you and their target, for a kidnapper, you are the wallet. They want their victim reasonably intact. Whether that is for a later sale, or for a ransom, they don't get paid if their victim is “non-functional.”)

Actually, a really messed up example of this, on this blog, was a few years back, when someone was asking about their “vigilante” characters gunning down drug addicts. Which, yeah, that's pretty fucked up.

When the author botches their, “acceptable targets,” (which is the point of that Batman critique, by the way), the entire illusion can start to break apart. And it can really expose the idea that you're trying to pretend your character is a good person, because their actions target people who the author felt were, “undeserving,” of continuing to breathe.

Falling Down (1993), with Michael Douglas and Robert Duvall is an excellent interrogation of some of these concepts. I don't want to say too much else, because the film is open to interpretations, (some of which are extremely scathing), and I think the film speaks for itself better when no one is telling you how to interpret it. Just be prepared for an uncomfortable viewing.

Back when we were both regularly active, ScriptMedic and I used to have a bit of a back and forth about pharmaceutical means to subdue someone.

Chloroform is a classic example in fiction, and it was popular in crime thrillers from 80-90 years ago, in an era when ready clinical information to laypersons was far more limited. First of all, the rag over the mouth doesn't work. This is a gas used for anesthesia, and you need a lot more than a single vial to keep someone under. Second, you need to keep applying it to keep them under. Again, that rag isn't going to hold enough. Third, if you somehow got enough chloroform onto that rag, it would sedate everyone in the vicinity, because it's an anesthetic gas. (The liquid form is extremely volatile, and will quickly convert to a gas at room temperature. That gas is what is supposed to knock someone out.) Fourth it used to be a common additive in toothpaste, and frequently occurs as an out-gassing from polymers and adhesives. Popular culture hilariously overestimates how potent this stuff is. You need a lot to put someone under, and you need a trained anesthesiologist to keep them under without accidentally killing them. Also, prolonged use results in liver damage and cardiac issues, which is why we no longer use it for anesthesia. If you try to put someone under without an anesthesiologist, and you manage to sedate them... they'll die. Turns out, it also suppresses the respiratory system, and they suffocate.

It's a similar story with most anesthetic gasses, and in fact, chloroform is one of the “sleeping gasses.” Not all of them have the liver or heart issues, but none of them are, “fire and forget.”

ScriptMedic was a fan of Ketamine for knocking out characters. And, to be fair, Ketamine is fantastic for anesthesiologists. Exceeding the necessary dosage just puts the patient out for longer, which may be inconvenient, but it's vastly preferable to, death. The problem is, it's not great for fire and forget tranq adventures. Ketamine does not suppress salivation. Which isn't a big deal on the operating table, as you can pretty easily keep someone from drowning in their own spittle, but if you just inject some poor mook, and leave them on the curb, they're going to drool themselves to death.

Actual tranquilizer guns are a real thing. They're frequently used in animal control. You don't use these on people because TV lied to you. You get darted, and if you decide to keep the dart in your neck as a peculiar fashion statement, you've still got somewhere between fifteen minutes to an hour to finish up whatever you were doing, before someone rudely added a nap to your schedule. Oh, yeah, and if the dose is too high, these anesthetics can kill you. Dosage calculations with these things are educated guesses at best, and it's why sometimes animal control really can't afford to use tranq guns. It's not callousness, it's a calculus between the threat the animal poses to others, and if they have the time to wait and see if the tranqs work.

What you really need to not shy away from, is the idea that if your character engages in violence, there are going to be consequences for that violence. Unlike in real life, as the author, you are responsible for applying those consequences to the participants. This creates a real problem when you have authors who intentionally try to skirt around the parts of the events they find uncomfortable it reduces the impact of that violence.

To drag up that Batman example, the reason it's a slightly peculiar and subversive take is because it's outside the scope of the comics. Batman goes in, beats up muggers, comes out completely unharmed, and it's all okay because we know Batman's a good person, doing this for good reasons, and the muggers are still alive to reform and become better people in society.

Except, if you step away from the idea of a superhero comic, none of that makes any kind of sense.

The story you're trying to tell doesn't need every instance of violence to be followed with an extensive interrogation of the philosophical implications of what your characters did. However, if you're trying to tell a story where violence is a spectacle that happens in a regular rhythm, it's not going to hit in the same way.

I'm pretty sure I've said this many times, but violence has diminishing returns in your story. The more you use violence (particularly non-consequential violence), the less it will matter, and like any other tool you can call upon, the less your audience will respond to it.

There's nothing wrong with putting some violence with your story, but the one thing you do need to do is be honest with yourself about it. You can lie to your readers. (Though, that's something you want to be very careful of.) But, if you lie to yourself it will harm your story. Sometimes that does require doing some serious soul searching about what you're trying to do. Because, what you're trying to do right now is tell me that you want serious violence, without really coming to grips with how that constrains your options about how violence and physical harm work.

Again, there's nothing wrong with popcorn action. But if you want to write breezy fights between superheroes, you really need to admit, to yourself, that's what you're doing. Your story will be better for it.

-Starke

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[yaegeram]

Trial environment ideas for Volker. I have the objectives for the trials thought out, I only have to draw more concept art for the map itself.

The idea is, that it all takes place in a war hospital (a "Reserve Lazarett' as it's called in German back during WW2) and the trial objective (and name) would be to "Cauterize the Wounds" of the patient. The patient has 4 wounds carved into his body. (Knees, Groin, Chest, Head) Your objective is to find 4 branding irons and brand over them. That's what the hydrolic press thing is for.

First you'd have to turn on the cremators in the crematorium by either turning a valve or by rolling large gas flasks into the basement to be able to turn a valve or something.

Then you'd have to find 4 branding irons in the hospital wings. They'd all unlock one after another starting with the one needed for his knees. You'd get a handheld radio decoder and would have to find different signal stations where you'd get a 4 digit code via something akin to morse code. Like one beep for 1, four beeps for 4, etc. I'm toying around with the idea of having to figure out the frequency as well, similarly to the Cleanse the Oprhans trial.

You'd then have to bring the iron to the cremator and heat it up and then bring it to the patient and press. However the iron cools down again. So you'd have to be quick with it and pick the shortest path. Then you'd put it in from above and pull a lever to lower it onto the patient.

Once that's completed I'm still unsure of wether the patient would just die from his head getting branded or whether you'd have to wheel him to another area of the game on his stretcher, the front lines, where he'd have to "go to war" again. Maybe mechanical mannequins would kill him one way or another or you'd have to fire a gun to kill him, not sure yet.

As for his soundtraps and special traps: he'd have empty IV bags, scalpels, scissors and pill bottles hanging from the ceiling as soundtraps. His special trap would be poisoned medicine, you'd only be able to guess it's poisoned by either drinking it or spotting minor differences to normal medicine bottles or maybe by checking it with your night vision device for impurities. There'd be an increased amount of First-Aid lockers on the map just to confuse the player more.

As for Volker, he'd be on the map for the duration of the entire trial like Franco, idk I'm not a big fan of the PAs only spawning in during the end or something.

That's all the thoughts I have at the moment, there'll probably be more or even some changes to it in the future as nothings set in stone yet 😋👍

[avelera]

big agree on your post on stuff people overlook with Jayce and Viktor.

fwiw though, people taking issue with Jayce making weapons for Cait feels very fair considering what the grey doea. that regardless of whether they were working for the barons or not, anyone impacted by the grey was a civilian. like even if it only hit chem barons employees which feels very doubtful since it's a gas, we've already seen like in the shimmer factory that many working for them probably didn't have better options. it's plausible Jayce didn't know about her plan with the grey and simply trusted her and figured anything she would do would be the lesser evil but that is a hard pill to swallow.

Personally I don't see why Jayce would know about the use of the Gray. He's resigned from the Council, as far as we can tell, after the Memorial attack he basically goes into his lab to look after Viktor and never leaves again except once to make the weapons for Cait's squad.

Absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence, etc etc but I'd say there's as little evidence that he knows about it as there is that he does. The Council meets below ground because these are top secret sessions and Jayce isn't part of them. That's if he even cares. Jayce seems wholly focused on Viktor from that point forward and then when Viktor leaves, Jayce basically goes into a depression coma. He's not taking part in current events, much less reading briefings or attending meetings that are going into the strategy for the hunt for Jinx.

On that note, if we're going to look at extra-narrative evidence for or against Jayce's knowledge, just going by a gut feeling he knows, I'm going to counter with my gut feeling he doesn't based on the fact that Caitlyn is leading a top secret strike team operation.

Piltover has recent, painful experience with officials in high places betraying them through the former Sheriff Marcus. I would see Caitlyn's strike team operating on a strict need-to-know basis in order to prevent leaks that could give away where they're going next, much less what methods they're using once there. And again, even if that knowledge was available for Jayce to know, that even if he'd gone to those Council sessions or asked Caitlyn he would have learned the details of her plan for flushing out the Chem Barons, I simply don't see Jayce as being in a place where he wants to know right now. You can see that as its own crime, but my read of the scene was he made weapons while hating himself so that Caitlyn and her team would be safe, then fucked right off back to the lab.

As for the whole use of the Gray argument, honestly, I'm just going to go with the word of god from writer Amanda Overton on that: Caitlyn used it with pinpoint accuracy, only Chem Barons and their operatives were impacted, but that doesn't necessarily make it right and the narrative wants you to question how you feel about that. Caitlyn certainly hates herself later for everything she did to hunt down Jinx while consumed by rage and grief for her mother.

But I am a little sick and tired of the widespread assumption made by the fandom that civilians must have been impacted too even though we have zero evidence of that, these assumptions that Caitlyn is murdering children all over the place when that is never seen or shown. As far as we know, once the operation is over, she turns the vents back on in that location. Let's absolutely question whether using tear gas, which is what the Gray effectively is, is the right thing to do in that situation at all (Silco certainly didn't have a problem with it when he used it on the other Chem Barons himself) but let's not add a body count that isn't shown onscreen just because of a gut feeling. Arcane doesn't shy away from showing us children getting hurt or killed, I don't know why they would shy away from showing Caitlyn's strike team hurting innocent civilians and children if it was happening, especially when they showed it with another character: Jayce. So I don't buy the argument that they just don't show it because she's a popular character or something, Arcane is totally fine with showing its beloved characters kill children. Therefore, I conclude that it didn't happen. They're not hiding it. It didn't fucking happen.

Finally, and I can't believe I need to say this, but that whole arc is very influenced by 9/11 and the writers are the right age to be deeply impacted by that event too, unlike many of the young viewers commenting right now. So perhaps you don't know that there was a heated discussion of whether a full invasion or a strike team was the better option for going after the lone, deranged perpetrator of the attack. Sound familiar?

Most people from my generation who were in on that debate believed that justice was necessary, but the progressive side of the argument was that an elite strike team was better than an invasion in terms of loss of life. Arcane is a world that exists with a lot of nuance, where no one is wholly good or wholly evil, where there is no perfect option, but it's wild to me that so many people are saying that the strike team was automatically evil when the alternative was all-out warfare that would have absolutely been indiscriminate in the death of children and civilians.

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Been having some ISaT tech level and timeline (as in 'when backstory things happened') thoughts and want to ramble a bit:

Tech

ISaT's setting is based on your classic sword and sorcery fantasy JRPG so its easy to assume that tech wise everything is 'fantasy medieval' and call it a day but consider:

Body Craft is at bare minimum is magic sex changing surgery (earliest known equivent in our world dating to 1930) that any old person can learn to do safely on themselves in only a few months, and more likely has many many broader applications like regular old surgery, the 'combat healing' Mira and Sif use, etc.

Cameras and photos are rare enough that Odile comments on it (namely she's happy the group get a photo in the House due to them being 'so rare') yet are also common enough that everyone in the party knows about them and doesn't question the existence of a camera beyond being surprised that the mirror was one. (In our world cameras date back to the 19th century, with the earliest manufacturing of them being in 1839). 

Printing presses and ways to make plenty of paper to feed those presses given absolutely everyone in this game can read, expects everyone else to know how to, and both mass produced book series and newspapers are a thing. (Note: Printing presses have existed since waaaay back but it's the mass paper manufacturing that makes newspapers and The Cursing of Chateu Castle possible that really has my eyebrows raised here, especially since neither Siffrin or Odile find either odd in any way, indicating such things are common everywhere, and while newspapers have been around since 1604 in our world, mass produced fantasy books didn't really take off until the start of the 20th century).

Food production and storage: despite being in the middle of a national disaster that almost certainly cut off trade networks and access to most suppliers for literal months now, Bonnie, a small child, is able to easily get their hands on fresh Pineapple, curry ingredients (for samosa), potatoes, plantains etc with no issues or anyone commenting on this being unusual or lucky. Oh and the only character who even brings up the concept of potential starvation is the Fishing One, and only in a sort of 'we're not at risk now but sooner or later...' kinda way due to noticing that the fish they fish up for fun are disappearing and likely being frozen. So yeah, that heavily implies Vaugarde has very good food storage tech/Craft (possibly better than ours), and likely also good food production and harvesting tech/skills also.

The Island's incredible knowledge of the stars: while the oldest known orrery in our world is dated from around 205 to 87 BC (ancient Greek, earth centric model), the fact Sif -who would've learnt this as a child/teen- is so very certain that stars are big balls of fire made up of gas is interesting as that's something our world couldn't prove the theory of until around the 1900s (note: it'd been theorized a LONG time but Sif talks like its complete facts to them . Additionally the earliest existing record of a telescope in our world dates to a 1608 patent and we see one of those in game.

Post posting EDIT: A wonderful user qds-place pointed out that Mirabelle has anti-anxiety medication in her room. This is in both ISaT and SAaP and though we're not sure what form the medication takes (pills? Valium? Megitech esc Craft boosters???) the fact they specifically have 'anti anxiety' medication at all (as opposed to idk dragging Mira off and drugging her through the gills) is kind of impressive and if it IS modern anti anxiety pills those could be as recent in creation as the 1950s! So um. Some high levels of tech implied in chemistry there <3

So... yeah. All this, plus the fact that the highest tech implied area, The Island, literally specialised in the study/Craft of turning wishes into reality (for a long enough time period that Wish Craft is culturally so ingrained in the King and Sif that they do it without thinking and it seems intertwined with their nation's religion) has been completely erased from memory to the point anything heavily associated with them has been forgotten, and also we only ever see Dormont aka a little village well away from the cities, it's not hard to conclude that you can basically justify giving the ISaT world any level of tech you want, so long as you lock any of the truly 'setting breaking' stuff like planes and rockets behind The Island's forgetting curse (I would've said trains too but thinking about it trains were invented in 1802 so it's honestly easy to imagine that they totally exist in the ISaT setting/Vaugarde but aren't ever on screen because rail is way too dangerous to consider using while the Curse is active and potentially time freezing things on the tracks).

Side note: We know absolutely nothing about Vaugarde's transport system but as a fan of fantasy RPGs it is honestly a travesty I have yet to see a fic that has flying dragons/wyverns or other fantasy mounts in setting. Like, ok yes, the party would probably have wanted to use those but maybe they don't like the Curse and fled? Maybe the King's Curse targeted them first? Maybe all their handlers dropped the heroes off in Dormont and said 'Well Saviors it's been fun, but well me and Scales here are off to Poteria until things wrap up so best of luck to you' before buggering off?

This isn't really a serious complaint just. Me reminding myself/potentially other fanwork writers out there that there's a lot about the setting we just don't know about and limiting all travel to walking, horse drawn carriage and boat is not actually required. (Also please mix up travelling to the Island. Boats are a wonderful classic and have great thematic vibes for Sif's original leaving of the Island but like. Imagine the sheer in-universe wtf of the memories of The Island suddenly coming back and people on the north coast suddenly realising there's a massive bridge, subway or underwater tunnel leading there that everyone just forgot about - potentially filled with all kinds of Sadnesses that need taking down. Or Warp Panels in a House of Change, idk XD).

Timeline

Canon notes first:

Bonnie is a preteen (8 to 12), Mira and Isa are in their early to mid 20s (with Isa slightly older), Sif is late 20s to 30, and Odile is 40+ Nille is stated to be around 18 to 20.

Siffrin ran away from home when they were a teenager (13 to 17? 18?) and this is heavily implied to be when the Island was Forgotten.

Bonnie (in ISaT specifically*) says that Nille told them that when it happened all the adults were talking about it, hence why they think The Island is close to their village. *In Start Again a Prologue, Bonnie says that they themself remember the adults talking about the Island disappearing, which er. Is a bit impossible given they likely weren't even born yet when that happened but that can be explained away by AU differences, InsertDisc5 still finalising details between SAaP and ISaT, and/or OG Siffrin having been in the loops so long they weren't actually listening when Bonnie was talking and just 'scripted' in their head something 'close enough' to what Bonnie was saying to get the idea (note: mentioned that idea before in my post here on the differences between the House and King in Start Again vs In Stars and Time for anyone curious so er please feel free to give that a read if you haven't already).

Odile mentions remembering 'when it happened' as well and has been 'travelling for years'.

The King 'appeared out of nowhere' sometime in his adulthood, and lived in the city of Corbeaux for a few years before he became the King.

The King became the King as was freezing people in time long enough before his attack on the House of Dormont that everyone inside knew he was coming, there were a wall's worth of newspaper articles about him, and everyone was expecting Euphrasie to defeat him.

Mirabelle's quest began 'almost a year ago' and Sif lost their eye 'recently'.

Thoughts on the above:

Calculating when The Island was forgotten:

Sif being mid 20s to 30 and having run away from home as a teen means that The Island has to have been forgotten somewhere between 9 to 17 years ago with nine only possible if he ran away at age 17 and is only age 26 now, and seventeen being the far opposite if he ran at age 13 and is currently 30.

To narrow down the timeline: Given Sif ran away from home because he 'didn't want to eat his veggies' and 'just wanted to scare [his] parents a little bit' it's probably safe to assume Siffrin was likely on the younger end of the teen spectrum (teens run off all the time sure but with loving parents and over veggies? That screams 'kid who has not yet learned that freaking out the parents will get their ass grounded and/or yelled at a LOT and is therefore best saved for doing fun forbidden stuff that ideally the parents will never find out about' XD) Additionally given Siffrin can't remember his age/birthday etc but Isabeau outright says near the beginning of the game "But you're older than most of the people here?" meaning Sif must be visibly older than Isa or Mira, so he's probably closer to 30 than not.

Those alone would imply the Island likely disappeared closer to the '17 years ago' side of things BUT Nille (tops 20 years old) told Bonnie that "[the Island's disappearance] was all the adults would talk about for ages" and kids usually can't remember anything prior to 4 years of age so with that in mind...

I'd say The Island most likely disappeared between 13 to 16 years ago.

Nille stuff:

This is more a general mention but. Nille is tops 20 years old. Bonnie is between 8 and 12 and doesn't remember their parents at all.

This means Nille ran away with Bonnie and gained emancipation and custody of Bonnie (if Vaugarde has formalised that kind of legal stuff) while she was at most 12 years old herself and could have in theory been as young as 6..!

Regardless, it's very likely the original home situation was that bad, Nille deserves a ton of credit for raising Bonnie as well as she has and I'd say it's very VERY likely she had a lot of help from villagers in Bambosche and/or the local House of Change in doing so. ...But also Bonnie is very adamantly 'my sister and village' and not 'my sister and [specific names who live with us]' so there's clearly by the time Bonnie was 4 or so they were living in their own place so... Yeah. Lotta drive for independence there too it seems (so the party might have more trouble adopting Nille into their group post ISaT than Bonnie might expect).

King stuff:

Already an adult 13 to 16 years ago so at bare minimum 33. Given his vibe probably much older though.

Newspapers get printed pretty quick though for there to be so much speculation and research done into his background so quick, either Vaugarde has some form of fast messaging system (something like a Chappe telegraph on top of the Houses of Change? Odile I think does mention that they'll have a message sent to let Nille know they'll be returning Bonnie...) or the King was freezing stuff for IDK around a month or two before reaching Dormont? Alas can't find out how long it takes to walk across all of France out very easily (I'm sure the numbers are out there but my brain is pudding rn) but if we had those numbers we could probably make some guesstimates based off the rough sketched map of Vaugarde InsertDisk5 did... Which I would link but apparently the tumblr post I had it linked on has been deleted???? 'wails at this very unhappy development'

Mira's journey and Sif's eye:

We really don't know a lot but almost a year ago gives us somewhere around 9 to 11 months to spread the journey out along and after eye removal surgery the patient can out and about as soon as 2 to 6 weeks after, maybe sooner with magic healing (though full recovery/growing used to the changed spacial awareness -which Sif clearly does not have- probably can't be sped up and takes around 3 to 6 months) so um. I'd guestimate Sif's eye injury is really recent; like two months ago tops recent. ...Which sorta explains a lot of why Bonnie is not dealing with it right now and also why the others might be trying to avoid bringing it up (since Sif clearly loves avoiding the issue but they haven't yet realised that maybe they really should bring it up even if it annoys them anyway?)

Odile with some Ka Bue speculation:

When it comes to The Island, how did Odile, presumably living in Ka Bue at the time, remember 'when it happened'? Was the Island well known enough even on the other side of the world that it's disappearance made waves? Or was Odile herself or someone she's close to paying attention to the region? (Like maybe her dad or a friend is/was into politics or trade, keeping up with overseas news and got concerned it could happen to Ka Bue? I'd say 'I remember when it happened' line implies it was more immediate knowledge than being informed by a messenger much later though...)

As for Odile's 'years of travel' I have to wonder, what's left behind for her in Ka Bue? She brings up going back there quite a bit, might just miss home and possibly her father if he's still alive, but given it took her years to get here for something so personal rather than idk 'materially rewarding' I think Odile might have some kinda family estate or something back in Ka Bue... Something she wasn't worried about potentially losing while far away, but solid enough to want to return to, beyond her father who she'd definitely want to see again if he's still around. (...But given how open she is to chilling about Vaugarde a few more months with the others, I really don't think he is alive, since well, given their respective ages and travel between Vaugarde and Ka Bue apparently taking years, there'd definitely an uncomfortably high chance of him passing away while she's gone and that seems like the thing that'd stress Odile out so... Yeah. Probably got an estate in Ka Bue she'd like to take the Family to visit/possibly sell off if she decides she'd like to live with them in Vaugarde so... Just my off the cuff headcanoning here and hoping that gives others ideas or something).

---

Anyway that's all the ramble I've got in me so... yeah! Hope this was interesting and useful for those needing a bit of a 'possible tech'/timeline calcs breakdown for the Island + a few more vague things and um. Probably will post a long winding ramble about my attempt at a ISaT Selkie AU fic I've been working on next <3 (Not to be confused with looped-140-and-counting's already existing and quite wonderful Selkie Siffrin AU which already has a completed oneshot fic, a snippet of sequel, two snippets of prequel/Sif flashbacking and I believe a comic too, all of which I highly recommend <3)

[writers-potion]

How to kill my characters?

How to Kill Your Characters

trigger warning: suicide

Good question. I'm going to risk sounding like a psychopath in the first bit of this post, and a little more sane in the second.

Ways To Die.

Physical Death

In a fight/battle: throat slashed, heart impaled, bleeding to death, head smashed in a fall, chest compressed under rubble, beheaded, choked, burnt at the stake, chest stabbed, guts spilled, blistering all over due to poison gas, taken in a bomb, multiple arrows all over the body, smashed under horses, etc.

By accident: bitten by a snake, torn in ribbons by a preditor, falling off a cliff, car accident, a knife falling from a loose rack, heart attack, severe allergy reaction, dying from heatstroke, washed away in the ocean, dying during an illegal surgery, getting stuck in a factory machine, trapped in a broken building, your clothes stuck in a truck and getting dragged around, etc.

By suicide: swallowing poison, hanging themselves, jumping off, overdosing on sleeping pills/drugs, shooting yourself in the head, setting fire on their own home, jumping into your own spear fixed on the ground, injecting yourself with lethal amounts of a drug, drowning yourself, drinking to death, filling your room with carbon monoxide, etc.

Due to illnesses that might be chronic or discovered too late for a cure. It can be a rare illness like being allergic of sunlight/water, etc.

Due to crime/abuse/bullying.

Euthanesia.

Starving to death.

Psychological Death

Losing a job that you've held for 30 years

Losing a relationship that was central in the MC's life

A terrible betrayal that make them lose their trust in humanity.

How to Make Character Deaths Effective.

Obviously, don't kill your characters for the sake of insering a "shock factor". Each death must either further the plot or convey the theme of your story.

Death of a naive character/loved on/supporter are used to drive the hero into a corner, which will motivate them to seek the Final Epiphany to win at the end.

You can kill a character to kill the thing they represent. For example, the death of a guru/parent is often used to convey how everyone must learn to break out of the nest to grow into an indepedent person.

Death as a consequence. Your hero may need to give up their loved ones to save the world, or give up their own life for their loved ones.

Death of the MC should leave a lasting image for the reader and reflect the overall theme of the novel. For example, the MC dying in the middle of a battlefield makes the reader question the matter of human cruelty and the futility of war.

How to Convey Death

Depict the dying character closing their eyes, chesting rising and falling for the last time, the focus in their eyes going out, limbs going limp, etc.

From the POV of a dying character: thick darkness falling, they welcoming peace, seeing their life go by, seeing Death

You can choose to skip direct description of death and show the funeral/other characters mourning as an aftermath.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

💎If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 

💎Before you ask, check out my masterpost part 1 and part 2 

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[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

Whumpers! This is your two-week head start to the Two Weeks of Whump Challenge commencing on the 3rd of July!

[Image ID/More information under the cut]

Promptsforyourwhumpfic’s Two Weeks of Whump Challenge - July 3rd-July 16th

To celebrate six years and nine thousand followers, I have compiled a small whump challenge. 

For each day, you gave been given three items/ways to hurt your chosen character with. You can use just one, or all three for each day! This isn’t limited to writing, you can create gifsets/draw etc. There is no limit. 

For those posting to Tumblr

Please tag @promptsforyourwhumpfic and/or use the tags #TWOW or #TwoWeeksOfWhump. 

For those posting to AO3:

I have created the Two Weeks Of Whump Collection (thank you for recommending I do this @dollopheadedmerlin​!) 

You can tag me at @SurroWhump

Prompts list: 

1) Poker - Shock Collar - Ashes 2) Bio-Weapon - Isolation Chamber - Needles 3) Car Battery - Scalpel - Alcohol 4) Belt - Gas Mask - Cage 5) Broken Glass - Building Collapse - Necktie 6) Kitchen Knife - Gunshot Wound - Gag 7) Cyanide - False Imprisonment - Blindfold 8) Rope - Nails - Water Inhalation 9) Acid - Branding - Meat Hook 10) Rusted Metal - Phone Call - Hammer 11) Chains - Hanging - Muzzle 12) Baseball Bat - Coffin - Nail Gun 13) Mystery Pill - Gaslighting - Fishing Net 14) Barbed Wire - Scissors - Corkscrew

Remember: tag accordingly, especially when it comes to trigger warnings!

FAQ’S

Why just two weeks? I understand not everyone has the time/stamina to do a huge challenge, so I thought two weeks was a good compromise!

Miss a day? Don’t worry! It’s not the end of the world, you can always catch up in future. This challenge is not limited to these two weeks, if you’re finding this two months after its over, then you’re more than welcome to take part!

How much do you need to write/do for each day? As much or as little as you’d like. If a drabble turns into a full fic, brilliant! If you only have the time for a sketch that's fine too! 

Want to know more? Message me/send me an ask!

[friendo]

Have you or a loved one been plagued by horny visions of Anton Chigurh from the hit 2007 Coen Brothers film No Country For Old Men based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy???

Well buckle up for ANTON FRIDAYS, where I’ll be posting 1 to 3 reader x Anton fics every Friday for the rest of the year!

(There will be 31 fics in total! I can’t keep up with kinktober because work is insane for me this time of year and I have not had a proper rest in 2 months, so I decided to do my own thing!)

Each fic will either include a gender-neutral reader (i.e. reader can be read as any gender, no pronouns or specific genitalia descriptors are used), or will include 2 chapters both with gender neutral pronouns, with one geared towards an AFAB reader and one for an AMAB reader.

Each month will have a bit of a theme, as well!

For October, I decided to mash my love of horror movies and NCFOM together to do a lot of horror-adjacent fics, so gear up for some AUs featuring slasher Anton, vampire Anton, phone stalker Anton, and more, as well as general macabre-themed fics.

For November, the leaves are changing so we’re doing some switching – this month’s fics will have Anton taking on a more submissive position!

And for December, is it getting a bit cold in here? Or is it just Anton being Anton? This month will be focused on...well, Anton being a bit mean, for lack of a better word.

(NOTE: Titles and release order are subject to change!)

Here's the prompt list below the cut! I'll be updating the list with links as I post them to my AO3.

OCTOBER

5th: Blood Oath

Featuring: Vampire Anton, bloodplay, biting (of course)

11th: Trapped Under Moonlight

Featuring: Werewolf Anton, knotting, scratching scratching biting biting more scratching clawing etc etc

18th: The Reverend of Second Chances

Featuring: Reverend Anton, cheirophilia, religious undertones

Inspired by The Night of the Hunter (1955)

18th: It’s For You

Featuring: Phone stalking, breaking & entering, voyeurism

Inspired by Black Christmas (1974)

25th: A Haunting in Texas

Featuring: Ghost Anton, poltergeist shenanigans, wet dreams

25th: Beyond The Pale

Featuring: Necrophilia, questionable Anton behavior, disgust and desire are one and the same

25th: Moving in Shadows

Featuring: Nyctophobia, hate sex in the dark, predator/prey

31st: Your Pound of Flesh

Featuring: Cannibal reader, willing victim Anton, love hurts

Inspired by Raw (2016)

31st: On a Short Leash

Featuring: Petplay, collaring, vibrators

31st: The Thrill of the Hunt(ed)

Featuring: Slasher Anton, gore, predator/play dynamics

(Despite the 31st being on a Thursday, I couldn’t not post on Halloween!)

NOVEMBER

8th: To Ruin You

Featuring: Omorashi, watersports, bathroom denial

A loose sequel to my fic Self-Control

8th: Pretty Pleas

Featuring: Begging, orgasm denial, oral sex

8th: A Lesson in Self-Restraint

Featuring: Strip teasing, demanding, a tied-up Anton

15th: Three’s a Crowd

Featuring: Anton x Carson x reader threesome, bisexual antics, somebody’s getting spitroasted

15th: Sweet Release

Featuring: Lactation, nipple play

15th: Fingertips

Featuring: Tickling, dubcon

22nd: The Taste of You

Featuring: Lots of sweat, stuck in the heat, car sex, body worship

22nd: Your Special Project

Featuring: Emetophilia, medical play

Will eventually be made into a series

29th: A Job Well Done

Featuring: Sex toys, praise

29th: Chlorine and Salt

Featuring: Public sex, poolside, edging

DECEMBER

Featuring: Temperature play, shower sex, mutual masturbation

6th: Ice Water

6th: Firebug

Featuring: Fireplay, branding, arson

6th: Iron and Grease

Featuring: Boot licking, teeth pulling, face stepping

A loose sequel to my fic Lick the Boot That Kicks You

13th: Words Like Knives and Razor Wire

Featuring: Name-calling, humiliation, spitting

13th: Quiet in the Alley

Featuring: Public sex, against a wall, under pressure

13th: Backseat Blues (AKA The Gas Station Dick Pills Incident of 1983)

Featuring: Forced erection, insatiable urges, car sex

20th: Don’t Hesitate

Featuring: Consensual noncon, roleplay, Anton wants to try something new

20th: Performance Review

Featuring: Office setting, after-hours trysts, Anton in that suit at the end of the book

Inspired by Secretary (2002)

20th: Justified Rage

Featuring: Enemies, hate sex, violent sex, dubious consent

27th: Tears Are Not Enough

Featuring: Dacryphilia, high reader, manipulation, kind of a funny one tbh

27th: Tame You

Featuring: Massages, back scratching, happy ending (literally)

[moonspirit]

Hello Moon,

Might we have some more Grandpa Levi? The thought of him with all the grandkids around him warms the heart.

Personally, I think that when the first kid is just learning to talk, they will try to call Levi Captain, but it will come out as Capin, and it’s a name that will stick. From then on, all the grandkids will call Levi “Capin.”

I imagine Levi is one of those people who is just naturally gifted with babies; if you have a crying baby, give it to Levi, and in 5 minutes, tops, the kid will be snoozing away. In fact, he just has a calming air with kids in general, and I imagine whenever the ambassadors have get-togethers or Family reunions, Levi will be found with all the kids snoozing around him at some point.

Levi also seems like one of those adults who refuses to talk down to kids, no matter the subject. The kid could be talking about unicorns or wizards, and he’ll be following along as if he were talking to an adult (maybe with a few fewer swears, but he can’t help himself if one slips out)

I think this has already been said, but one of the grandkid's first words will be a joyful and loud exclamation of ��S**T” or “F**k” he will insist it wasn’t him

One thing he secretly likes doing but would never admit is pretend tea parties. He thinks it’s important to teach children proper tea etiquette, such as how to serve guests and proper stirring techniques.

One year, the guys will get him a photo album with pictures of all the grandkids. While he thanks them in a subdued manner, it is to him the greatest gift he ever received, and he keeps adding more and more photos over the years.

As always, I’d love to hear what you think.

Oohhhhhh this grandpa Levi propaganda has me going all asskdjasjhfsakfk T/////T

Because "Capin" Levi oh my god! It's so ridiculous, everyone else has a good laugh when their kids are running towards Levi for a hug, but he shoots them a glare and says "What? What's wrong with Capin?" It only makes them laugh harder because they just can't stand how adoooooorable it is. That's their former deadly Captain reduced to a Capin now!!!!

And yes he's a human sleeping pill. In fact I hc that Armin, Annie, Jean etc end up relying on him a lot when their infant children just refuse to sleep across weeks and weeks. Levi becomes quite used to opening the door to his former Scout kids sporting unkempt hair, eyebags, dark circles and formula stains, babies on their shoulders and going, "Captain... We haven't slept in a month... would you please..." And BAM- Ackerman Daycare is open again!

The "not talking down to kids" part made me laugh so hard xD I can just imagine a situation where one of the kids is going, ".... and then, my unicorn horse will FART SMELLY GAS into the evil monster's face, and the monster will DIE, and-"

But Levi says, "Unicorns can't fart smelly gas, they fart rainbows."

"But.... rainbows are boring!"

"What if the rainbows are poisonous gas--like cyanide--disguised to look colourful? That way, Unicorn Horse can take down the evil monster faster."

"Hey! That's so cool! .... by the way, what's cyanide gas?"

"... Nothing. Don't repeat that to your mother."

(30 mins away in a town center, Annie sneezes).

And pretend tea parties yes, yes. Levi visits dollhouse experts and carpenters and orders a custom-made pretend tea-set. It's all very nice; tea etiquette and proper stirring techniques are necessary skills for children to learn so they can go out into the Big Scary World. It's an excuse for him to drink more tea, let's be real.

It's all so cute and wonderful to picture T^T thank you for this!

[shinynewboots]

General Life Advice: Notes from your Online Big Sis

Keep a roll of paper towels in your car. Literally, you never know when a sneeze, nose bleed, spill, or other questionable fluids will arise so just best to be prepared

Take fiber. And maybe own some miralax. Seriously, changed my life. If you don't like the powder, they make fiber in pill form. Literally fiber is the best and no one likes being constipated. Like a doctor I worked with said, "don't live your life by your ass".

See the sun at least once a day if you can. It's got some healing properties or some shit idk it just personally makes me feel more human

In that same vein, please wear sunscreen. No matter your skin color, the sun comes for us all. Wear it on your face, your arms, your ears (if you have short hair or have your hair pulled back often). Lots of skin cancers can present on places like the nose or ears because of exposure + lack of protection

If you're in college or do a decent amount of extracurricular but don't have a resume or cv built yet, just go ahead and make an excel or word doc of things you've done that you can reference back to when it's actually time for you to apply for something or create a resume or cv. It's so nice to already have it compiled somewhere than trying to remember what you were involved in or volunteering for 3 years ago

Drink water (and find a way that is effective). I personally love to drink carbonated water with some lime juice and straw. The straw is the key for me lol. If you like mio or flavor packets, please just use it. Especially if it guarantees you will drink some kind of water. Don't let anyone convince you that you have made juice or that you're not getting the benefits of water. You'd be surprised how many people are just walking around at a baseline dehydration

Floss!! Please!! (This is more for me than for you guys but we all need reminding lol). I despise flossing. So. So. Much. Ya just gotta do it. It sucks. Okay don't give me that face. (Lowkey feel like I'm cheating bc I got a water flosser but oh well, gotta get it done somehow).

Have a book in mind in case someone asks you what book you're reading. Like out in the wild. It def can be a book you're actually reading, but if you're like me and most of your literary consumption comes in the form of AO3 and an elderly man asks you what you're reading or what your fav book is, it's always best to have one in your back pocket.

Backup up pictures that are special to you. And like I don't mean to your cloud or drive or Dropbox. Like seriously, physically backup them up. Buy a flash drive. Print them out. Do something so that if tomorrow you lose access to them digitally, you still have them!

Do one thing today that tomorrow you will thank you for. Begrudgingly stop and fill up your gas tank even though you don't want to. Set the coffee pot so that all you have to do is push "on" in the morning. Be kind to your future self, you don't know what they've been through.

Specifically for my contact wearers...for the love of the tumblr gods please pack at least a pair of them in whatever bag/purse/backpack/vehicle/etc you use. I promise you do not want to be driving down the interstate with only one contact in because the other somehow ripped while IN YOUR EYE and you're going really slow and other cars are passing you and you're just really stressed (not like I speak from personal experience or anything).

If you're prescribed meds, do something to help you actually remember to take them. Whether that be a pill organizer, something you do as a daily routine (I keep them beside my wedding band so I know if I'm not wearing it, there's a high chance I didn't take my meds), or some other fun thing. Lots of them need to be taken at the same time everyday to be effective (I'm looking at you, birth control).

There's definitely so many other things I'm missing so I'll definitely add more as I think of it! These are just a few things I had to figure out as a first time adult without an older sibling lol Please feel free to add your own as well!!

[fatkish]

This is my Boku No Hero Academia O.C. in her hero costume. In case you can’t read my handwritten notes I’ll write them below.

Hero name: the observer from the shadows hero Voror

Birthday: April 26

Height: “5’ 2”

Quirk: Angelic Wraith

Her helmet has a screen that can display information, record videos and sounds, act as a communication device and has a built in computer. The helmet protects her face and head from damage as well as cold temperatures. It also has a gas mask/air filtration system.

Her body suit is made of steel infused, fire/water proof and bullet/tear resistant fabric. The suit is designed to keep heat in and cool out to protect her from cold air while flying. This is also why the suit is non conductive to allow her to fly even during lightning strikes so she isn’t shocked.

She wears tactical gloves with reinforced knuckles. She has a cargo sword holster. Each pocket contains first aid supplies such as disinfectant/iodine, medication such as antacids, motion sickness pills, cough drops, headache/painkillers, gauze, sutures, bandages, etc. she also wears tactical knee and shin guards. The side pockets contain survival tools such as flares, fire starters, etc.

Lastly her boots are steel toed and heeled. The soles are made of military grade shock absorbing rubber.

(I drew this myself)

If anyone needs help designing or drawing their own OC please feel free to leave a request

[toxicanonymity]

WE NEEEEEED NIGHTWALKS JOEL ABC’s 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Fair enough! 👖 A few are from the ones I did before.

NSFW 18+ Misc / x fem!reader / night walks master list

A = Aftercare - Takes a minute for his dirty talk to taper off.  . . He’ll say something about how bad you wanted it or how bad you want it.  

B = Body part - Obsessed with his own equipment.  Loves your whole body but the first thing he noticed about you was your ass and he can’t resist pressing himself into it whenever he sees you anywhere.  Also loves your thighs, can’t keep his hands off them.  

C = Cum - He doesn’t want a drop wasted.

D = Dirty secret - Peeping Tom.  

E = Experience - Very experienced.  Never had a girl as bad as you, though.  

F = Favorite position - Variety is the spice of life but he likes to be able to see how much you’re enjoying it.  

G = Goofy - No, no one is goofy lmao.  But he may tease you / rub it in about how much  you want his cock.  

H = Hair - Hair still mostly dark, not much gray down there.  Better groomed than you might expect - he's kinda vain.

I = Intimacy - There isn’t really a  romantic aspect.  He’s enraptured by your horniness for him. 

J = Jack off -  Used to do it on his porch while you walked around the block. Now sometimes does it in your backyard while he watches through the window.  Otherwise, he likes porn where the woman is super cock hungry.  Also cock worship.  Believe it or not he also likes porn with plot lmao.  Specifically, scenarios that involve strangers like repair men. He likes it because the woman is secretly so horny and all it took was the right man to activate her.  He HCed you that way as soon as he saw you, and he knew he could activate you. 

K = Kink - Voyeur, breeder.  You’ve had to start doing better at taking the pill.  If you’re starting to enjoy it, don’t let him know you’re on birth control.  

L = Location - Enjoys coming onto you and feeling you up in public.   Would be glad to take you anywhere and thought it was super hot the time he fucked you in the parking lot of the gas station, and went down on you in the bathroom of the restaurant.  But there’s also something about having you in his basement that really turns him on.  Reminds him of the first time after he tricked you there and you just couldn’t resist him.  

M = Motivation - He likes to make you desperate for his cock and he wants to hear how good you feel. He gets off on bringing out the naughtiest side of you. He can sense you have a bad, bad girl in there and it's his mission to tease it out. Likes to feel like an aggressor.  Likes control hence locking you in, restraining you, etc. Even if it's something you could escape from like an indoor lock.

N = No - Willingly pull out, or stop pursuing you. 

O = Oral - He’s good at it, he prefers to be inside you but definitely wouldn’t mind being blown.  

P = Pace - Starts slow, pays attention to how your body responds, adjusts accordingly, often getting faster/harder.  

Q = Quickie - Definitely in favor especially if he’s seducing you into doing it somewhere risky. 

R = Risk - Definitely gets off on getting away with stuff, so yeah.  He’s super confident. 

S = Stamina - He can last if he wants, and if you want, but is usually eager to come.   His recovery period is like 15-20 minutes aside from extenuating circumstances where he might be able to go sooner.  But otherwise plenty of time for a smoke or drink in between. 

T = Toys - Doesn’t own any but likes to watch you use yours and would enjoy using yours on you.  

U = Unfair - He’s not much of a tease, but he loves to hear how bad you want his cock so he might try to draw it out of you.  

V = Volume - Grunts, groans, talks dirty.  Intimate volume but not a whisper.  

W = Wild card - Wears PJ pants all the time and he just gets away with it . He has a bunch of different ones, too.  

X = 19 cm (7.5") base to tip erect, and on the girthier end of average.  Just barely curved upward for your pleasure. He's a shower not a grower.  Tan, smooth.  Huge balls.

Y = Yearning - Extremely high, can’t get enough of you.  

Z = Zzz - Pretty fast if you're in his sketch ass basement

-

joel master list

-

NW: @tehweeana@lokanda@blackvelveteen1339@cutesyscreenname@ele-meno-p lmk if i missed you

All joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @ele-meno-p

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

i exchange casual pleasantries with my local gas station clerk roughly once a week on my way into the office. ask how things are going, how the grand babies are, bitch about the weather, etc. i got excited that they had chicken n' waffles in the sandwich section once a few weeks ago, and now every time i stop by in the morning? chicken n' waffles.

another small talk win. you misanthropy-pilled otaku fucks will never have what me and the gas station lady have

[delopsia]

del, i looove the new rhett avi 🌻 and if it’s cool, i meant to ask this over a month ago 😬 for the trio, who falls asleep first on new year’s eve? or like: who is trying not to fall asleep? who is kind of excited and trying to keep everyone awake? who, on december 30th, actively tried to make a case for going to bed early; power point presentation and all, etc? 😂

Aaaa, thank you! 🌼 I'm currently answering things from several weeks ago (oops), so it's kind of fitting 😭

Bobby is gonna fall asleep first, unfortunately :( that baby has an internal clock like no other; it hits ten thirty, and he's gone. Blame the Navy and the gotta-be-up-before-the-rooster-crows upbringing.

Rhett is the monster who was built for this moment. Does he get up before dawn every morning to head to work? Yes. Has that ever stopped him? No. He spent nearly a decade breaking his back on his father's ranch, bull riding nearly every Sunday, and drinking 'till sunrise afterward. Staying up past midnight is nothing for him, and it's Robby's worst nightmare.

"It ain't that hard, jus' keep yer eyes open!" "It doesn't work like that!"

It was Bobby who made and presented the PowerPoint before the New Year's Eve festivities even started. The idea was that if he could tackle the issue while Rhett was suffering his routine evening-yawning fit, then maybe he could sell everyone on the idea of going to bed at a decent time.

He had it all planned; he was gonna deliver a convincing argument and hammer it home with the offer to finally agree to the bedroom photoshoot idea. The one that involved the cheap libido pills Rhett found in a gas station and the two Polaroid cameras that have been resting on his office shelf. It was foolproof!

Unfortunately, Rhett is very, very good at calling bluffs. The idea even stemmed from one of Bob's own suggestions 🙄

Enter: Robert Floyd, 11:59 PM. All half-lidded eyes and a lopsided smile, leaning against the wall. An energy drink has been no match for his internal clock; he's dead on his feet.

He has no idea where the hell his glasses or his shirt went, and he'd look if he weren't too focused on Rhett and Reader. They're standing in the living room, blaring their current favorite song, television counting down for a ball to drop, and Rhett's still clinging to his New Year's shotgunning tradition.

Watching Rhett empty a can of Rainier beer, foam rolling down his stubbled jaw, makes Bobby wonder if he can get drunk from the sight alone.

And so maybe Bob is somewhat delirious. Not quite thinking as he stumbles forward and kisses that pearly white foam off of Rhett's neck and chin, bitterness be damned. Maybe the Reader is joining in on the other side.

Bob doesn't remember falling asleep, but the next time he opens his eyes, Rhett's teasing him about how he stopped mid-kiss and blatantly said they would continue this in the morning.

[moroser]

[incoming long and personal and dark post]

it dawned on me that it’s april and that means it’s been 6 years since i stopped doing drugs. big achievement. i did weed the whole time, thinking i needed it to keep away from the worse stuff, but i stopped that too, almost 2 months ago now. everything i’m about to talk about i did without anyone in my life (offline) noticing and all by myself.

my entire life has been unstable and so difficult. and i mean difficult and sad. i used to drink pretty heavily, but i stopped when i found pills. i was taking pretty much any opioid i could find, i even stole them. i was text book addict with pills. i had every excuse to keep going with it, it made sense to me at the time. i was in so much pain mentally, emotionally, and eventually, physically. taking them was reprieve. 

eventually, i was taking so many a day, quite honestly i should have died. my brain was blank, i lost my creativity and i stopped drawing, which is the one thing i love the most to do. create. even though i did not stop, the fact i felt nothing in that realm anymore was heartbreaking. i’d spent several nights staring at the ceiling practically waiting to die. i had one dream that i can remember while on drugs and it was of me staring at myself opened-eyed and dead on my bed. it shook me.

the drugs affected my ability to think, cry and feel, then one day on my way to work, after taking so many, i got so sick on the side of the road on the freeway several times. eventually i pulled off into a town i didn’t know and passed out in the parking lot of a gas station for who knows how long. i woke up dazed with the taste of puke in my mouth, and totally dehydrated. i missed work, i was embarrassed with myself. i have no idea how long i sat there for before getting out of the car to walk around. eventually i made it home but i felt like i wasn’t the same after that. 

decided to detox (after trying before, and failing), which was the worst events i’ve been through in my life. took days, nearly a week to get over the worst of the symptoms. i don’t think i slept at all. i was so sick, shakes and chills, vomiting, etc. i let spongebob play for the entire time, that sponge grounded me lol. i’d made it through that time. and i stuck too it, using my desire to feel my creativity again and wanting to be better to my body to stay away from relapse. 

2017 i cleared my system of alcohol, pills, energy drinks, pop, and the only thing i’d let myself use was weed because i felt it would stop me from everything else. and technically, it did. it aided me for a long time. but the passed ~3 years i’ve been so ill with stomach issues and nausea and throwing up that i decided to stop that too. 

so now i’ve been completely sober for 1 month and 21 days. for the first time since high school i have nothing in my system that is altering me the way substance abuse has. it’s been a major adjustment. my focus is shit, my sleeping is difficult and my dreams are insanity. it literally feels like i’m sleeping just to wake up somewhere else because my dreams are so vivid and clear. i wake up every four hours having to adjust and remember i actually live here, not in dreamland. i didn’t dream at all while on drugs or weed, so in a way, i welcome the vibrancy of them. 

looking back, none of those things helped me. they only broke and shrouded my spirit with a darkness i don’t want to feel ever again. i want to be healthy and i want to give my body the chances that it deserves. i want to heal properly. i want to live so much. i want to find someone to be with that will understand me and accept me even with my flaws and history. i feel better already, but i know there’s still a long journey ahead and i can only hope it gets better. i deserve better. i know i’m a good person. i know i have so much creative potential in me and it’s what i want to give my energy and soul to.  

thanks for listening, if you read this. i am proud of myself for getting as far as i have but the support from my friends and strangers online has been a colossal sense of communal help i’ve never had offline. sharing my art has been a big help and just people enjoying it means so much to me. thank you.