#gas pills etc

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(tbh, there needs to me more fics where sirius is a pharmaceutical rep? like a drug rep who goes into hospitals?

he'd be great at it. perfect job for him.)

[unholyverse]

MYSPACE 1.0 THEME REFRESH (originally by conkersradfurday, refreshed by unholyverse)

live previews: 1, 2 / download (pastebin)

hi! i've been using this old theme for years now because other myspace themes don't hit the same, but i've been tweaking a lot of it for personal use. i think it's been long enough since this theme has been abandoned that i can upload something that can handle itself better on modern tumblr.

main features

asks are formatted to look like myspace comments. fun!

four custom links

myspace buttons to follow, message, or block the blog owner

a bunch of info spaces so the world can know what you're about

extra font options

functional search bar (but this is tumblr so...semi functional?)

that web 2.0 ugly goodness

other features + info below the cut

new features

friend space - ever wanna show off your friends? now you can with the friend space to show off your top 8 9 friends on your blog. don't have enough friends? no worries, you can always toggle it off

image space - wanna put a bunch of blinkies somewhere? you'll need to have a bit of html and css knowledge for it, but you can go into the code and add as many images as you'd like. just look for the section and start pasting those images. it's a little tedious but tbh that's just the authentic myspace experience isn't it? but if that's not your thing, you can also toggle it off too.

tweaked/deleted features

had to delete the music player :( sorry but it used flash and i'm not really sure how to make a music player in javascript yet

added username input because it was annoying me that your title could be your name and it didn't make sense in most cases

deleted infinite scroll because the script was super outdated

added the ability to change the "online now!" gif. the original gif will always be in the defaults of the code.

changed the text post header font to verdana because it was impact and you could not fucking read that and it wasn't accurate to a myspace bulletin anyways

deleted the feature that force showed all the pages you made on your blog. so annoying. it will look a little weird if you have asks/submissions deactivated, but i doubt many of you using the theme will have them closed anyways

changed the dead links to redirect to the actual myspace site

extra recommended add-ons

scm music player: a customizable music player with tons of different skins and tons of songs you're able to add

unblue polls by @glenthemes: what it says basically; allows you to customize the colors of tumblr polls on your blog

cursors-4u.com: i love these dinky little cursors they're so fun. great if you really wanna lean into the 2000s aspect of the theme

cursor sparkles: what else is there to say about this they're just fun

notes

i plan on updating the theme semi-regularly if bugs are brought up and stuff (which you can tell me through my inbox)

hopefully i can work on extra tweaks as time goes on (such as figuring out how to add a footer image to videos, toggle tags, etc)

don't repost/claim as your own because it already isn't mine in the first place

like/reblog if you use!

update log

added a tags toggle + tweaked the video post sizes

made the "is in your extended network" status customizable to add different text. feel free to tell the world how many gas station boner pills you took

added an official theme link

[smileysuh]

hotflash

🌙 staring. Haechan x afab!Reader 

🔮 preview. There'd been a time when leaving you alone to deal with your heat as an extreme precaution against unwanted pregnancy had been something the alpha could live with. But in the months he's had you as his mate, your cycles have synched up- and the thought that you're ripe and ready to be fucked - to be fucked by him - well, the wolf inside won't be tamed anymore. And Hyuck doesn't want it to be. 

cw/ tw. dubious consent/cnc, pussy eating fiend, multiple orgasms, temperature play, popsicles, face riding, 69, oral (f/m receiving), deep throating, fingering, overstim, slight dacryphilia, spanking, power play, a/b/o alpha x omega dynamic, possessive hyuck, dirty talk, praise, knotting, protected sex, mentions of breeding kink, 'just the tip', etc... I pet names. his: alpha. hers: needy baby.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 5.3k

🍭 aus. alpha!hyuck, a/b/o, omega!reader, establish relationship, heat etc...

☀️ mlist + an. sometimes, attacking a bestie with her favorite tropes and her favorite boy is the best idea you can have... sorry Jewel ❤️

“Hyuck-” your strangled voice makes the hairs on the alpha’s arms stand up, his skin prickling with energy. He can tell - even through the phone - that you’re not doing well.

“You’re early,” he concludes- because your heat can never truly stick to a schedule, and Haechan supposes that - out of all the mating bullshit he’s already dealing with - of course this would be the cherry on top. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t-” you begin to tell him the same thing you tell him every month, but Haechan’s not having it. He’s endured too many months already- paced outside your door like a wild animal for too many nights in a row-

“I have to bring you your suppressants,” he insists. The package of pills is in the back with Mark, who makes the bag crinkle when he holds it tighter. “I can’t believe you’re four days early-”

“Hyuck-” you whine his name again, a reaction to the anger tinged in his voice no doubt, and he grips the steering wheel tighter, pressing down on the gas.

“I’m bringing you suppressants,” the alpha states, leaving no room for argument this time. 

Your meek “okay” is the only response he gets, and then the line goes dead.

The car fills with silence, the air thick with energy and tension. 

“Don’t say anything,” Hyuck snaps at the man in his passenger seat.

“Wasn’t going to,” Jaehyun sighs, his voice much too calm for Haechan’s liking.

“I’ll say it,” Mark quips up from the backseat, “slow down, please.”

A growl tears its way out of Haechan’s chest, and he locks eyes with the beta in the backseat through the rearview mirror. “Fuck off, Mark.”

“I just mean- we’re already late to the start of her heat- speeding could end up with us dead, and then your omega is down a mate and her suppressants, which doesn’t help anyone.” 

There’s truth in his words- but Hyuck is done listening to truths and rationals- he pushes the engine even harder just to spite the man who dares speak logic to him.

There’s no logic in this for Hyuck, not anymore.

There’d been a time when leaving you alone to deal with your heat as an extreme precaution against unwanted pregnancy had been something the alpha could live with. But in the months he’s had you as his mate, your cycles have synched up- and the thought that you’re ripe and ready to be fucked- to be fucked by him- well, the wolf inside won’t be tamed anymore.

And Hyuck doesn’t want it to be.

“I still think it’s very responsible that you’re listening to your mate and giving her at least some space during her heat,” Jaehyun notes. “Shows a lot of control.”

“Right, because I’m known for my control,” Haechan rolls his eyes. 

In fact, he’s known for being impulsive. And the breeding kink he’d exhibited on your off-heat cycle had been enough to prompt you to shut your legs to him during your time of the month.

Regardless of any precaution taken by an omega in heat, knot condoms still break, alpha spunk still leads to pregnancy, and despite the best efforts of everyone involved, two of Haechan’s friends have accidentally gotten their mates knocked up in the past four months. 

“But hey,” Mark says helpfully, “remember, you’re not the only alpha abstaining- Taeyong-”

“Taeyong’s mate hates pups,” Haechan seethes. “And she knows he’s not ready to be a father.”

“Are you?” 

“You know what?” Haechan pushes his car as fast as it can go, “Yeah. I am.”

You hear Hyuck’s car pull up outside the heat cabin, tires kicking up gravel, and you await the onslaught to your senses that comes next. 

Everything is heightened for you, and the second your mate opens his car door, the inklings of his scent become known to you. 

The familiar smells of Jaehyun and Mark are on the periphery, and you hear the crinkle of a bag being passed off, your mate barking at his friends to ‘Fuck off-’

God, Hyuck telling others off shouldn’t be such a turn-on, but it is-

 The sound of his footfalls suggests he’s jogging towards your little heat cabin, and the shaking of pills in a bottle brings you both peace and anxiety-

Part of you had been hoping Mark would be the one delivering your meds. Mark, a beta who you wouldn’t jump even in the worst of your heat- 

But no, of course Haechan’s the one bringing them to you-

He’s always toed the line during your time of the month, and it appears this one won’t be any different. 

You struggle to hold your breath, trying not to take gulps of air filled with his scent, which is becoming stronger and stronger-

Haechan stops outside the door, and you hear him take a breath-

“Fuck.” 

He can say that again.

“You smell-”

He can say that again too.

“I’m not letting you in,” you tell him from where you’re curled up in bed, in the corner farthest from the door.

“Even though daddy has your meds?” His voice is lower than you’re used to- and he doesn’t usually refer to himself as daddy- but you’d be lying if you say the term isn’t affecting you.

You can feel your sleeping shorts getting wetter by the second, body beginning to come alive at the notion that your mate is just a few meters away.

“I mean,” Haechan coughs. “Come on baby, you need your meds.”

“You’re horrible,” you groan, hating how easy it seems to be for him to switch between lust and seemingly perfect composure-

“Is that any way to speak to the guy with your suppressants?” you can hear the smile on his voice- the playful teasing. You wish it was truly just playful… but you know there’s an ulterior motive.

“If I open this door,” you tell him, “you’re going to come in and stay.”

“Maaaybe.” At least he’s not lying to you. “But come on- I could easily break in through the window if I really wanted- and I’m not, that’s gotta count for something right?”

“You’re horrible,” you repeat for the second time, burying your face in your pillow. 

“Baby,” he places his hand on the door, pushing gently, and the wood moves everso in its frame, “let me in, let me help you with this.”

“By knocking me up,” you groan, mind already beginning to buzz with all the things you wish he’d do to you-

“I mean- sure,” you hear him swallow, “if you want, but… there are other ways.”

“Condoms break Hyuck, we’ve been over this-”

“What if I don’t even take my dick out?”

It’s the first time you’ve laughed all day, and it definitely relieves some of the tension in your shoulders. “You? Not taking your dick out?” Now it’s your turn to swallow thickly, a new rush of wetness tingling out of your core. “As if.” 

“I could try it-” he insists, and this time you hear him press his forehead against the door, pushing forward again. “Come on- listen, I even got popsicles- I know you’re really hot right now, with your heat and everything… imagine the feeling of my cold tongue licking at you.”

“God-” you squeeze your thighs together, hating that he’s right, hating that what he’s suggesting sounds like the perfect cure to your predicament.

“That’s it baby, think of how good it will feel-” he coos, “you smell so fucking good, I could just eat you up-”

“Just tongue?”

“Maybe fingers too- I bet you’ve got ice in there, or I could put my hand in a bucket of cold water or something so it feels good- anything to cool you off.”

Your eyes go to the jug of ice water next to your bed that you’ve been sipping on, and you toy with the wet cloth that’s already lost its cool as it wraps one of your bare thighs, exposed by the fact that you’re only wearing sleeping shorts and a bralette to cover your modesty-

“No cock, I promise-” 

He sounds so sincere. 

Your pussy practically throbs at the notion of letting him in- you can’t believe how much your body reacts to the mere presence of your mate, and you can’t even imagine how good it will feel to let him enter the heat cabin and take care of you-

You have half a mind to tell him to fuck off, suppressants and all- 

But your body wins, the tingling between your thighs taking over as you inhale a deep breath, allowing Hyuck’s familiar scent to wash over you and make you practically brain dead. “Give me a second- I have to get up and open the door-”

Your legs are wobbly as you stand from the bed, and the coolness of the hardwood floor offers some reprieve as you approach the only entrance to the heat cabin. 

“Stand back?” you suggest, heart racing wildly in your chest-

You can’t believe you’re doing this.

There are three locks in total, and you undo each with shaking fingers.

The moment the last one clicks out of place, you scurry back to your bed, something like fear overtaking you. 

You trust Hyuck- you do- but you’re not so sure you trust yourself. And you suppose, seeing as you’ve never allowed him near you during your heat, maybe you shouldn’t trust your mate after all-

He pushes open the door, and the full weight of your decision hits you.

The alpha takes a deep breath, and his chest rumbles with a primal growl as he releases it, his gaze taking you in inch by inch.

In one hand, he holds your meds, in the other, a plastic bag of what you assume to be heat provisions. 

“Suppressants?” you question, skin prickling with sweat-

You need meds, you need at least some relief- something to dull the ache between your thighs-

“Needy baby,” Haechan says lowly, stepping into the cabin before closing the door behind him. “And four days early- at least we were already out getting you these,” he pulls the bottle of pills from the parchment bag, tossing them at you. 

You catch the meds, cracking open the lid and spilling a few of the blue and white pills onto your hand, where you decide on taking two. Then you pop them into your mouth, grabbing the large ice water jug next to you to help wash them down.

“That’s it, baby-” Haechan says from where he’s putting provisions in the ice box. When he turns to face you again, he’s unwrapping a popsicle, “take those pills.”

“Hyuck-” you whimper, setting your drink and the suppressant bottle down to focus entirely on your mate.

“Your heat hit you pretty fast huh?” He licks the frozen treat, leaning back against the fridge and watching you. “Have you cum yet, baby?”

Instead of answering verbally, you take to nodding, gnawing on your lower lip.

“How many times?”

“Do you really have to be so far away?” you whine- and an even better question, has he always looked this fucking sexy?

“Just getting my tongue cold for you,” he responds, in the most non chalant way-

But you can see how blown his pupils are, and when you focus hard on his mouth- you see that his breathing is shallow-

“Now answer my question, babe,” Haechan presses. “How many times have you cum already?”

“Twice-” you tell him. “Once from- when you called and- I heard you speeding faster to get here- and then- again�� from thinking about you-”

“Cute baby- couldn’t cum until you heard my voice huh? If I’d had known I had that sort of effect on you- we could have had phone sex your past few heats.”

You think you might cry if he doesn’t come closer, and the words that come out of your mouth as a response betray your growing irritability; “woulda, shoulda, coulda.”

“Oh baby,” Haechan releases a chuckle, but there’s little humor in it, “you’re gonna get it now.”

“Please-” you open your arms to him, and Haechan finally approaches the bed.

“Open your mouth baby,” he tells you, settling onto his knees at the foot of your mattress, “and come closer.” His hand wraps around your ankle, and he drags you towards him.

“Hyuck-” you go to say something, but the popsicle is presented to your lips, and you accept it, welcoming to cool treat into your mouth.

“That should cool you off,” he muses, pushing your legs open, “this might too.”

He presses his lips to your inner thigh, and you’re taken aback by how cold his mouth is- it’s an interesting feeling, but one you quickly begin to enjoy, as he gets closer and closer to your core.

“Lay back,” he tells you, “relax- and let me eat you.”

You release a moan around the popsicle you’re sucking on, letting your head fall back against the mattress, eyes closing-

Haechan pulls your sleeping shorts to the side, and he blows cool air across your pussy, making you twitch and whine even louder.

You garble his name around the popsicle, reaching down to play with his hair-

Your mate smacks your hands away. “Don’t touch me- it’s too hot to touch me,” he insists, and when you look down, you see his eyes are red with intensity.

“Hyuck?” you whimper, recougnizing that eye flares like this are one of the first signs in an impending rut-

You’re early, could it be that he’s going to be early too? Are you two that in sync?

This is probably a bad idea, you realize, as Hyuck dives into your pussy, pushing his long, cold tongue into your hole- 

A horrible, terrible, very bad idea. 

But fuck- Hyuck’s tongue is no joke, even on a non-heat day- 

Alpha’s are known for having long tongues, perfect for pleasuring their omega mates- and Haechan has always been a pussy eating fanatic-

He pushes his face between your thighs like it’s his job, licking and lapping at you with his cold tongue- it feels absolutely incredible. 

But then he’s pulling away, and you’re crying out-

“Give me your jug of ice water,” he commands, voice gruff-

You follow through immediately, stretching to grab it off the nightstand, hurrying to give it to your mate. 

You’re curious about what’s going to happen next- but Hyuck simply allows the jug to smack down against the floor next to him, and then he returns to your pussy, grabbing the back of your thigh with a warm hand to tug you closer-

Part of you wants to call him out- to say it’s unfair of him to touch you if you can’t touch him- but the words die down as his tongue sinks into you, and your focus returns to the deep feeling of pleasure growing in the pit of your stomach.

The popsicle you’re sucking on is getting widdled down shockingly quickly, the cool liquid running down your throat aiding in your temperature regulation while the man between your legs works you closer and closer to orgasm with a tongue that’s also beginning to lose its cool.

As you finish the frozen treat, you find yourself teetering on the edge of pleasure, and with your focus now fully on Hyuck- “I’m gonna-”

“Cum for me,” he growls into your pussy, nose flicking by your clit, “cum on my tongue.”

He buries the wet muscle into your core, lapping at your walls- 

And he knows you can never say no to your alpha- your body is physically incapable.

Your pussy clenches, hard, and an electric wave of euphoria rushes over your form, white-hot and all-consuming. 

“Alpha!” you moan, back arching- your hands seeking out an anchor, which they find in Hyuck’s hair.

You grind yourself down against his face, riding out an orgasm that has your mind going practically numb.

And your mate works you through it with an unrelenting vigor, until you’re a shaking, quivering mess, struggling to get away from his mouth to escape the sensitivity.

Hot tears roll down your cheeks, and you’re in disbelief at how good it feels-

You’ve had orgasms during your heat before, but none of them have ever been like this- none torn out of you by your alpha. 

Hyuck pulls away from your pussy, and your body slumps against the bed, your breathing labored while your heart races madly in your chest. 

A drop of cold water hits your abdomen- and then another- the feeling making you flinch, hot body suddenly overtaken by goosebumps-

You open your eyes to see Haechan, holding his hand just above your stomach, and you realize he’s the source of the water. His hand is dripping with it.

“Did that feel good baby?” he asks, bringing his fingers down to touch your skin, dragging a cold, wet line from rib to naval- 

You squirm against the bed, body conflicted between your hot core and the coolness being brushed over your skin. 

“Your hand-” you whimper, unable to finish your sentence, but you don’t need to, Hyuck understands you. 

He always understands you.

“Put it in your water jug while I ate you out,” he tells you simply. “Wanted to get my fingers cold like my tongue… gonna fuck you with them now, and it’s going to feel so good. Trust me.” 

“Please-” you find yourself pushing your hips closer to his face again, and Hyuck notices too, releasing a chuckle.

“Look at you-” he coos, “and your… needy behavior. Is that what you are? A needy little baby?”

“Yes-”

“Needy to be finger fucked till you cum?”

“God,” you groan, “please!”

Haechan’s gaze returns to your pussy, and he brings his fingers to your entrance, toying with you. His thumb brushes by your clit and you nearly choke, jolting a little at the sensitivity you’re still feeling.

“Don’t play with me-” you whimper.

Haechan laughs. “For a second, it sounded like you were giving your alpha a command,” he presses his thumb to your clit harder, “you weren’t doing that, were you, baby?”

“No-” you gasp, squirming against the bed again, grasping at the sheets.

Two of his fingers slip into your aching hole and the shock of the coolness of his skin makes your toes curl. 

“You’re mine, right?”

“Yes, alpha,” you whimper, closing your eyes to enjoy the feeling of his digits exploring you, working you open-

“Gonna let me do whatever I need to do to help you cum, yeah?”

You let out a sound of affirmation.

“Gonna need to hear a ‘yes, alpha’ or I won’t help you cum,” he tells you, sinking his fingers into you even harder-

“Yes, alpha-” you correct yourself, “help me cum- please, I need it so bad-”

“Already?” he leans forward, letting his lips brush by your sensitive clit. “Didn’t I just make you cum?”

“‘S not enough-” you whine, already feeling another orgasm bubbling in the pit of your stomach.

You’ve had intense heats before, but nothing has ever felt like this. You’re practically dripping onto Hyuck’s hand and you know it-

In fact, you can hear how wet you are with each pump of your mate’s fingers, which he expertly uses to stoke your sweet spot-

“Alpha-” you moan, holding the sheets tighter.

“Come on, needy baby,” he says, thumb finding your clit, “cum for me- I know you want to, your pussy’s gripping me so fucking tight- cum on my fingers, do it, cum for me.”

You’re thankful you’re in the heat cabin and there’s - hopefully - no one around, because the scream you release as your orgasm tears through you is almost embarrassing. You claw at the bed, hips lifting-

Hyuck’s free hand finds your abdomen, and he forces you back down, continuing his assault on your pussy and leaving you no room to escape.

“That’s it baby-” he groans, “Just. Like. That.” 

“Alpha- please-” you whimper, feeling tears in your eyes again from how overwhelmed your body is-

“Your ‘please’ means nothing anymore baby,” your mate tells you, “first it was ‘please make me cum’ now it’s ‘please let up,’ you’re too messy to make up your mind princess, that’s why you need a big alpha to do it for you.”

His fingers begin to slow inside of you, and you’re able to take a breath-

Which is when you smell something sweet, and it’s not the discarded popsicle stick.

You find yourself licking your lips, taking in deep breaths-

“Something smells-” the saltiness of it hits your nose and you realize what it is that you’re identifying-

The same way you’re slicked from your heat, alphas give off a specific scent when they’re in their ruts.

What you’re smelling is definitely Hyuck, a musky spiciness twinged with pine- and today, the tree notes remind you of sap; syrupy, sticky, sweet sap-

“Look at you, licking your fucking lips-” your mate growls, removing his fingers from your core and bringing them to his mouth to clean. He releases a groan of ecstasy before asking, “Am I the only one who’s gonna get a taste today? Or should I let you suck your alpha’s cock like you devoured that fucking popsicle?” 

“Please-”

“Say it,” he tells you. “Say you want to suck my cock.”

You moan, writhing in the sheets, and you truly mean it when you whimper the words “I wanna suck your cock.”

“Yeah you fucking do,” Haechan groans, standing up from where he’d been kneeling at the foot of the bed.

His hands go to his belt, and you sit up, ready to get into any position he wants you in to suck him off-

You discard your bra-

“I’m not done with you yet, baby, still wanna enjoy you- think I’m gonna lie down and have you ride my face while you take my cock deep into that fucking throat of yours-”

“Please-” you whimper, shuffling forward to see if there’s any way to help him undress- 

But your alpha is two steps ahead of you, pushing his pants down and tearing off his shirt. 

You’re only able to appreciate his beautiful body for a moment before he’s moving to lie on the bed, his hands grabbing at you to help you into position.

“Sorry about these,” Hyuck tells you as he lets you settle with your core over his face, his fingers hooking in the sleeping shorts that he tears in two and throws to the side.

“No you’re not,” you whisper, grasping the base of his cock-

“No, I’m not,” the alpha laughs, both hands grasping your ass and forcing your core down on his mouth.

His tongue isn’t cold like it was when he’d prepped it with the popsicle, no, it’s warm, and long, an invading appendage that has your toes curling as well as his fingers had.

You try to focus on the cock that you have your own lips wrapped around, and as you force yourself down on him, his tip hitting the back of your throat, you remember that he’d promised not to take his dick out at all.

You realize, again, how much trouble you’re in.

You’d not intended on letting him into the heat cabin, not intended on letting him get his cock out, and yet here you are, grinding your pussy down against his face while he buries his length in your mouth-

The alpha under you pushes his hips up, and his cock makes you choke-

It’s shockingly enjoyable, and you lift yourself off of him just long enough to take a breath, marveling in how messy you’re being-

Tendrils of spit connect you to the cock that you go back to sucking like he’s your favorite popsicle-

And in all honestly, right now, he is. 

It feels almost as if you and Hyuck are in a pleasure war, his tongue working better than ever against your pussy, hands on your ass, keeping you where he wants you- and you’re determined to suck the soul out of your alpha, until all that’s left is the man you’d fallen in love with.

You’re shocked by the sudden swat to your ass, and you mewl longingly around him, enjoying the tingles his hand leaves in its wake.

“Slow down-” Hyuck growls against your pussy.

You pull yourself off of him to respond, hand continuing to pump his length expertly. “Want alpha to cum,” you whine.

“I’m not cumming in your mouth,” he tells you, delivering another rough smack to your ass.

“Then where-” 

“You know where.” He buries his face in your pussy again, and you can’t help the rush of wetness that gushes out of you at his words.

You do know where.

Part of you had known he’d be fucking you, properly, when you let him in the cabin.

There was only one way this was ever going to go- and it’s Hyuck’s.

“Never said to stop sucking,” another smack to your ass, “just slow down. Gonna make you cum one more time like this, then- we can try just the tip.”

So he’s gonna lie to himself and you? 

Part of you wants to laugh at the idea, and you feel Haechan let out a small chuckle of his own as his lips wrap around your clit. 

He’s such an ass.

You’re hopelessly in love with him.

Your third orgasm since Haechan arrived is beginning to form, you can feel it tingling through your limbs with each lick and prod of your lover’s tongue.

Your mouth returns to his cock, but you make a conscious effort to slow down, to focus on your own pleasure instead of his-

The sounds Hyuck releases as he fucks his tongue into you is enough to satisfy an inkling of your praise kink, and you wiggle your hips, looking for more stimulation-

Two hands grab your ass, holding you exactly where he wants you as your alpha mate lifts his head up, burying his tongue in you as deep as he can go-

You pull off his cock to moan his name, your voice sounding so whiney and desperate that you’re almost taken aback by the fact it came from you.

A smack to your ass is as good as a command to cum, and you nearly faceplant against Hyuck’s thigh, whimpering and moaning while your orgasm overtakes you. 

There’s nothing to do but accept what Hyuck is doing- no ability to pull or move away- and the greedy wolf in you doesn’t want to. You take everything he gives, surrendering yourself to the pleasure he’s providing until you feel its electric heat throughout your entire form.

Your mate pulls away from your pussy when you begin to twitch, and in a second, you’re thrown onto your back.

You feel the bed dip as Haechan sits up, but you’re too far gone to care, eyes closed, chest heaving-

You hear him walk a few feet, hear a bag and then something tearing-

A hand wraps around your ankle, and you’re spun so you’re propped against the pillows, eyes opening to watch your alpha find his spot between your legs.

“You know how I said we could try just the tip?” he asks, rolling a knot condom onto his cock- which looks to be just aching- He lines himself up with your entrance, leaning down to kiss your nose, “I lied.”

His cock sinks into your core, and you both release groans of pleasure-

“Wish you’d let me-” he grunts as he begins to fuck you, “let me breed you- but you want to be safe, we can be safe.”

You’ve had this talk before, and you don’t have energy to rehash it.

You also realize you don’t care as much as you have previous to this- 

Hyuck could get you knocked up here and now and you’d thank him for it.

“Are you gonna-” you swallow thickly, lacing your hands around the back of Haechan’s neck. “Are you gonna knot me?”

His eyes flare crimson, and your alpha mate releases a growl, pressing his forehead to your own. “Yeah. Does that scare you?”

There’d been a time when it had. But not anymore, and you shake your head. “No, alpha.”

“No?” he fucks you harder, hot breath fanning over your face. “Gonna take my knot like the good, greedy, needy little baby you are?” 

“Yes-”

“Trust me, you’ve never felt anything like this,” Hyuck tells you, and you know he’s right.

Everyone knows about knotting, but, because you’ve never let your mate fuck you during your heat and his rut, you’ve never gotten to experience it for yourself. 

Today is as good a day as any to pop your knot cherry, and you’re thankful Hyuck’s worked you out, gotten you prepped. 

You’re practically a sopping mess for the alpha that decimates your pussy, your muscles tired from three orgasms-

You’re ready to take everything he has to give you, ready to wrap your arms around him, ignoring your increasingly hot skin- ready to have him stretch you out like you’ve never been stretched before-

“Fuck baby,” your alpha groans, hot lips finding yours, “you’re squeezing me so fucking tight-”

“Want you to cum,” you tell him, nearly in tears from how much you want it-

“Yeah?”

“Want you to knot me and make me yours forever-”

“Aren’t you already mine?” your mate moves his lips to your neck, teeth dragging against your pulse point, intent on scenting you more than he already has.

“Yes, alpha-” you tangle your fingers in his hair, back arching, “please, I’m so close-”

“You know that-” he swallows thickly, rutting into you harder, “that when I cum- when I knot you- I’m gonna be stuck inside you for a little while, right?”

“Yes- please, I want it-”

“You want it?”

“Yes-”

“How bad?”

“So bad-” you whimper, “Alpha please-” 

“Keep saying please,” he prompts, fucking you so hard that the bed is hitting the wall with each thrust.

“Please, please, please, please, please!” your fingers claw at his back, and you’re completely lost in the sensation of being filled so perfectly-

“Fuck, fuck-” Hyuck releases a groan, burying his face against your neck while his thrusts become erratic-

You feel something at your entrance, the base of Hyuck’s cock swelling, pushing and stretching your hole-

“Alpha!” you’re sure you’ve drawn blood on his back now, and you clutch him like a lifeline while his knot splits you open, anchoring his cock deep into your pussy while you’re both wracked with orgasmic shudders of pleasure-

“Just like that-” he groans loudly. “Take it, take it, take it-” 

He smashes his lips against your own, taking your breath away and muffling the sounds of pleasure that have been leaving you-

You find yourself getting lost in the kiss, tightening your legs around his waist, reveling in the feeling of being completely flooded with the best pleasure you’ve ever had.

Your body is practically thrumming with warm, wonderful energy, and you realize: this is what heat is all about. 

It’s about being filled, so completely, so perfectly, that you lose all sense, that you’re truly one with the feral nature that is always bubbling inside of you.

To be in this moment, with your mate- nothing in the entire world will ever compare. 

“Fuck-” Hyuck groans, breaking the kiss to return his lips to your neck, where he continues to lap and lick at the mark he’s been working on, “Feels so good-”

“So good,” you echo, eyes closed, head resting against the pillows.

Your lover releases a deep breath, slumping more weight onto your body, pushing you into the bed. It feels wonderful to be cocooned by him, even though the heat between your bodies is bordering on overwhelming. 

“I could stay like this forever,” he says softly.

You realize - as you hold him tighter - that, you couldn’t agree more. 

☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I was missing the a/b/o au, and i figured temperature play, hyuck and heat would all go very nicely together lol, if you liked this fic, check out my other a/b/o fics here :)

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🔮 preview.  Now that you know how good it feels to have Hyuck fuck you through the worst of your heat, it almost feels like a sin not to let him blow your back out. After all, you were both truly made for this.

cw/ tw.oral (f receiving), shower sex, dirty talk, praise, temperature play, protected sex, a/b/o knotting, multiple orgasms, nipple play, slight pain kink, slight orgasm denial, overstim, etc...

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.1k I teaser wc. 160

🌙 staring. haechan x afab!Reader  

bonus teaser :)

“I really didn’t realize he was serious about this,” Jaehyun sighs for the third time since he and Mark were tasked with driving into the city for heat provisions.

“Me neither,” Mark matches the alpha’s defeated tone. “But at least he’s being safe right?”

The bag of knot condoms is held tightly in his hands, resting on his lap. He’s never been more uncomfortable to be an errand boy.

“What happened to his mate’s whole thing about knot condoms breaking?” Jaehyun asks, taking the turn off the highway that will lead them back to the compound they live at with their pack. “Johnny and Yuta-”

“Maybe he convinced her Johnny and Yuta are stupid and he knows how to use condoms… better?” Mark suggests, earning a deep laugh from the alpha in the driver's seat.

“Right-” Jaehyun laughs, “because an alpha like Hyuck is a master of condoms during his rut.”

Mark decides to pray to God for your uterus.

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general taglist:

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nct taglist

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due to tumblr restricting the number of people i can tag, i'll be reblogging with a few more tags of people who interacted with the teaser :)

[howtofightwrite]

i feel like, when it comes to people trying to use violence to knock people out - rather than avoiding methods that could cause permanent injury entirely, the previous anon(s) could just go for it while acknowledging the potential consequences in-writing?

so we can say that maybe, a kidnapper knocks another person out via head injury, and the KIDNAPPER doesn't care; but when the person is rescued the rescuers are worried for them because 'what do you mean you were hit in the head?!' and immediately checked for a concussion.

one could also have it so that the person doesn't know what head trauma or other bodily harm can cause and be appropriately horrified if/when they learn - or, if it's a character who uh. doesn't care for their body or health as much, they could hear this and refuse to care. follow what the character would do on that

they don't even need to actually have the person get a permanent injury. there can be a hospital scene or first-aid responder scene where they check the victim's head and go 'you are very. VERY lucky to not have a permanent brain injury from this', and insist on them to keep monitoring for any future symptoms.

there's a lot of other ways to go about knocking someone out, but iirc this will also apply to other methods of forced unconsciousness, like sleeping pills, sleeping gas or chloroform. in real life, it's always going to risk extra consequences because it involves forcing someone's bodily functions to shut down, if temporarily

and that shouldn't stop them from writing anyway, since fiction is often going to stretch the realm of belief a little with improbable situations, y'know? a lot of stories already take liberties with it. but it's both admirable and a good thing when someone wants to be more faithful to reality, regardless, so that's why i'd like to give my own thoughts.

if the person trying to find a non-lethal angle to knocking someone out is really worried, they could just make a disclaimer saying 'unrealistic depictions of violence/recovery' or 'creative liberties taken with the consequences of bodily harm' at the start of the story and go with their previous plans

but it's perfectly fine to just write as is while acknowledging the situation in-story too, is what i feel. or even have the character actually suffer the consequences. that angle is always interesting when explored.

timeskips are also a way to cheat on the recovery period, if you want it to be really realistic. imagine this scenario; a person gets knocked unconscious during a kidnapping. they wake up and manage to escape with a concussion - but they still have the concussion from the initial assault, along with other injuries during the hostage period. they are promptly hospitalised.

timeskip to several months after. the person has recovered! (or mostly recovered, depending).

a new kidnapper enters the scene! but they don't want the victim to actually be hurt, and the waiting period was hell, so they either just get their bouncer to grab them with no chance for reprieve, nab them while asleep, or threaten them via gun to head/consequences for someone else/etc to get in the car. no actual knocking out forcefully, only unconsciousness is falling asleep in the car.

consequences make for an interesting narrative too, is what i'm trying to say; and there's no need to shy away from it, but rather acknowledge that reality as fact.

I normally wouldn't light up an ask like this, but it is doing a lot of mental gymnastics to try to skirt around the central problems with violence.

So, let's start at the top: Acknowledging a problematic behavior as problematic can still result in the author endorsing that behavior, if they present the specific examples of that behavior in a positive light. If you're having characters casually knocking people out, you are endorsing inflicting extremely hazardous, and potentially life-altering injuries onto people, “but, it's okay, because I didn't kill them.”

The problem comes from an author wanting their upbeat, happy-go-lucky protagonist to also be an absolute bad ass, without interrogating the ethical issues inherent to their “heroic activities.” Worse, in many cases, they want their character to be perceived as a good person, regardless of the horrors they inflict on their fellow human beings.

The last time I covered this, I took a passing swipe at Batman, but it remains a relevant factor to consider about a lot of action hero characters. He engages in absolutely disproportionate violence against people who are engaging in criminal activity because socioeconomic factors that are beyond their control.

A lot of fictional violence gets framed in contexts where the nobility of the protagonist is preserved either because, “they don't kill people,” or, they specifically limit their violence to groups that are “socially acceptable,” targets.

In fact, you can even see an example of the latter in the listing above, with the express targeting of, “kidnappers.” Now, I have no love for human traffickers, but seriously consider for a second that this specific, highly-specialized, career path was called out as the group to engage in this behavior. I'm sorry, “why?” What is it about a kidnapper that makes them more likely to be willing to inflict harm on their victim than some other group? But, that's not the point. The point is so that when your protagonist does truly horrible things to those kidnappers, they're still “a good person,” at the end of the day. (There's also a little goofiness about kidnappers in the ask, because they care more about the physical health of their victim than most criminals would. Think about it this way, a mugger wants your wallet, and you're just an incidental obstetrical between you and their target, for a kidnapper, you are the wallet. They want their victim reasonably intact. Whether that is for a later sale, or for a ransom, they don't get paid if their victim is “non-functional.”)

Actually, a really messed up example of this, on this blog, was a few years back, when someone was asking about their “vigilante” characters gunning down drug addicts. Which, yeah, that's pretty fucked up.

When the author botches their, “acceptable targets,” (which is the point of that Batman critique, by the way), the entire illusion can start to break apart. And it can really expose the idea that you're trying to pretend your character is a good person, because their actions target people who the author felt were, “undeserving,” of continuing to breathe.

Falling Down (1993), with Michael Douglas and Robert Duvall is an excellent interrogation of some of these concepts. I don't want to say too much else, because the film is open to interpretations, (some of which are extremely scathing), and I think the film speaks for itself better when no one is telling you how to interpret it. Just be prepared for an uncomfortable viewing.

Back when we were both regularly active, ScriptMedic and I used to have a bit of a back and forth about pharmaceutical means to subdue someone.

Chloroform is a classic example in fiction, and it was popular in crime thrillers from 80-90 years ago, in an era when ready clinical information to laypersons was far more limited. First of all, the rag over the mouth doesn't work. This is a gas used for anesthesia, and you need a lot more than a single vial to keep someone under. Second, you need to keep applying it to keep them under. Again, that rag isn't going to hold enough. Third, if you somehow got enough chloroform onto that rag, it would sedate everyone in the vicinity, because it's an anesthetic gas. (The liquid form is extremely volatile, and will quickly convert to a gas at room temperature. That gas is what is supposed to knock someone out.) Fourth it used to be a common additive in toothpaste, and frequently occurs as an out-gassing from polymers and adhesives. Popular culture hilariously overestimates how potent this stuff is. You need a lot to put someone under, and you need a trained anesthesiologist to keep them under without accidentally killing them. Also, prolonged use results in liver damage and cardiac issues, which is why we no longer use it for anesthesia. If you try to put someone under without an anesthesiologist, and you manage to sedate them... they'll die. Turns out, it also suppresses the respiratory system, and they suffocate.

It's a similar story with most anesthetic gasses, and in fact, chloroform is one of the “sleeping gasses.” Not all of them have the liver or heart issues, but none of them are, “fire and forget.”

ScriptMedic was a fan of Ketamine for knocking out characters. And, to be fair, Ketamine is fantastic for anesthesiologists. Exceeding the necessary dosage just puts the patient out for longer, which may be inconvenient, but it's vastly preferable to, death. The problem is, it's not great for fire and forget tranq adventures. Ketamine does not suppress salivation. Which isn't a big deal on the operating table, as you can pretty easily keep someone from drowning in their own spittle, but if you just inject some poor mook, and leave them on the curb, they're going to drool themselves to death.

Actual tranquilizer guns are a real thing. They're frequently used in animal control. You don't use these on people because TV lied to you. You get darted, and if you decide to keep the dart in your neck as a peculiar fashion statement, you've still got somewhere between fifteen minutes to an hour to finish up whatever you were doing, before someone rudely added a nap to your schedule. Oh, yeah, and if the dose is too high, these anesthetics can kill you. Dosage calculations with these things are educated guesses at best, and it's why sometimes animal control really can't afford to use tranq guns. It's not callousness, it's a calculus between the threat the animal poses to others, and if they have the time to wait and see if the tranqs work.

What you really need to not shy away from, is the idea that if your character engages in violence, there are going to be consequences for that violence. Unlike in real life, as the author, you are responsible for applying those consequences to the participants. This creates a real problem when you have authors who intentionally try to skirt around the parts of the events they find uncomfortable it reduces the impact of that violence.

To drag up that Batman example, the reason it's a slightly peculiar and subversive take is because it's outside the scope of the comics. Batman goes in, beats up muggers, comes out completely unharmed, and it's all okay because we know Batman's a good person, doing this for good reasons, and the muggers are still alive to reform and become better people in society.

Except, if you step away from the idea of a superhero comic, none of that makes any kind of sense.

The story you're trying to tell doesn't need every instance of violence to be followed with an extensive interrogation of the philosophical implications of what your characters did. However, if you're trying to tell a story where violence is a spectacle that happens in a regular rhythm, it's not going to hit in the same way.

I'm pretty sure I've said this many times, but violence has diminishing returns in your story. The more you use violence (particularly non-consequential violence), the less it will matter, and like any other tool you can call upon, the less your audience will respond to it.

There's nothing wrong with putting some violence with your story, but the one thing you do need to do is be honest with yourself about it. You can lie to your readers. (Though, that's something you want to be very careful of.) But, if you lie to yourself it will harm your story. Sometimes that does require doing some serious soul searching about what you're trying to do. Because, what you're trying to do right now is tell me that you want serious violence, without really coming to grips with how that constrains your options about how violence and physical harm work.

Again, there's nothing wrong with popcorn action. But if you want to write breezy fights between superheroes, you really need to admit, to yourself, that's what you're doing. Your story will be better for it.

-Starke

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[writers-potion]

How to kill my characters?

How to Kill Your Characters

trigger warning: suicide

Good question. I'm going to risk sounding like a psychopath in the first bit of this post, and a little more sane in the second.

Ways To Die.

Physical Death

In a fight/battle: throat slashed, heart impaled, bleeding to death, head smashed in a fall, chest compressed under rubble, beheaded, choked, burnt at the stake, chest stabbed, guts spilled, blistering all over due to poison gas, taken in a bomb, multiple arrows all over the body, smashed under horses, etc.

By accident: bitten by a snake, torn in ribbons by a preditor, falling off a cliff, car accident, a knife falling from a loose rack, heart attack, severe allergy reaction, dying from heatstroke, washed away in the ocean, dying during an illegal surgery, getting stuck in a factory machine, trapped in a broken building, your clothes stuck in a truck and getting dragged around, etc.

By suicide: swallowing poison, hanging themselves, jumping off, overdosing on sleeping pills/drugs, shooting yourself in the head, setting fire on their own home, jumping into your own spear fixed on the ground, injecting yourself with lethal amounts of a drug, drowning yourself, drinking to death, filling your room with carbon monoxide, etc.

Due to illnesses that might be chronic or discovered too late for a cure. It can be a rare illness like being allergic of sunlight/water, etc.

Due to crime/abuse/bullying.

Euthanesia.

Starving to death.

Psychological Death

Losing a job that you've held for 30 years

Losing a relationship that was central in the MC's life

A terrible betrayal that make them lose their trust in humanity.

How to Make Character Deaths Effective.

Obviously, don't kill your characters for the sake of insering a "shock factor". Each death must either further the plot or convey the theme of your story.

Death of a naive character/loved on/supporter are used to drive the hero into a corner, which will motivate them to seek the Final Epiphany to win at the end.

You can kill a character to kill the thing they represent. For example, the death of a guru/parent is often used to convey how everyone must learn to break out of the nest to grow into an indepedent person.

Death as a consequence. Your hero may need to give up their loved ones to save the world, or give up their own life for their loved ones.

Death of the MC should leave a lasting image for the reader and reflect the overall theme of the novel. For example, the MC dying in the middle of a battlefield makes the reader question the matter of human cruelty and the futility of war.

How to Convey Death

Depict the dying character closing their eyes, chesting rising and falling for the last time, the focus in their eyes going out, limbs going limp, etc.

From the POV of a dying character: thick darkness falling, they welcoming peace, seeing their life go by, seeing Death

You can choose to skip direct description of death and show the funeral/other characters mourning as an aftermath.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

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[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

Whumpers! This is your two-week head start to the Two Weeks of Whump Challenge commencing on the 3rd of July!

[Image ID/More information under the cut]

Promptsforyourwhumpfic’s Two Weeks of Whump Challenge - July 3rd-July 16th

To celebrate six years and nine thousand followers, I have compiled a small whump challenge. 

For each day, you gave been given three items/ways to hurt your chosen character with. You can use just one, or all three for each day! This isn’t limited to writing, you can create gifsets/draw etc. There is no limit. 

For those posting to Tumblr

Please tag @promptsforyourwhumpfic and/or use the tags #TWOW or #TwoWeeksOfWhump. 

For those posting to AO3:

I have created the Two Weeks Of Whump Collection (thank you for recommending I do this @dollopheadedmerlin​!) 

You can tag me at @SurroWhump

Prompts list: 

1) Poker - Shock Collar - Ashes 2) Bio-Weapon - Isolation Chamber - Needles 3) Car Battery - Scalpel - Alcohol 4) Belt - Gas Mask - Cage 5) Broken Glass - Building Collapse - Necktie 6) Kitchen Knife - Gunshot Wound - Gag 7) Cyanide - False Imprisonment - Blindfold 8) Rope - Nails - Water Inhalation 9) Acid - Branding - Meat Hook 10) Rusted Metal - Phone Call - Hammer 11) Chains - Hanging - Muzzle 12) Baseball Bat - Coffin - Nail Gun 13) Mystery Pill - Gaslighting - Fishing Net 14) Barbed Wire - Scissors - Corkscrew

Remember: tag accordingly, especially when it comes to trigger warnings!

FAQ’S

Why just two weeks? I understand not everyone has the time/stamina to do a huge challenge, so I thought two weeks was a good compromise!

Miss a day? Don’t worry! It’s not the end of the world, you can always catch up in future. This challenge is not limited to these two weeks, if you’re finding this two months after its over, then you’re more than welcome to take part!

How much do you need to write/do for each day? As much or as little as you’d like. If a drabble turns into a full fic, brilliant! If you only have the time for a sketch that's fine too! 

Want to know more? Message me/send me an ask!

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Been having some ISaT tech level and timeline (as in 'when backstory things happened') thoughts and want to ramble a bit:

Tech

ISaT's setting is based on your classic sword and sorcery fantasy JRPG so its easy to assume that tech wise everything is 'fantasy medieval' and call it a day but consider:

Body Craft is at bare minimum is magic sex changing surgery (earliest known equivent in our world dating to 1930) that any old person can learn to do safely on themselves in only a few months, and more likely has many many broader applications like regular old surgery, the 'combat healing' Mira and Sif use, etc.

Cameras and photos are rare enough that Odile comments on it (namely she's happy the group get a photo in the House due to them being 'so rare') yet are also common enough that everyone in the party knows about them and doesn't question the existence of a camera beyond being surprised that the mirror was one. (In our world cameras date back to the 19th century, with the earliest manufacturing of them being in 1839). 

Printing presses and ways to make plenty of paper to feed those presses given absolutely everyone in this game can read, expects everyone else to know how to, and both mass produced book series and newspapers are a thing. (Note: Printing presses have existed since waaaay back but it's the mass paper manufacturing that makes newspapers and The Cursing of Chateu Castle possible that really has my eyebrows raised here, especially since neither Siffrin or Odile find either odd in any way, indicating such things are common everywhere, and while newspapers have been around since 1604 in our world, mass produced fantasy books didn't really take off until the start of the 20th century).

Food production and storage: despite being in the middle of a national disaster that almost certainly cut off trade networks and access to most suppliers for literal months now, Bonnie, a small child, is able to easily get their hands on fresh Pineapple, curry ingredients (for samosa), potatoes, plantains etc with no issues or anyone commenting on this being unusual or lucky. Oh and the only character who even brings up the concept of potential starvation is the Fishing One, and only in a sort of 'we're not at risk now but sooner or later...' kinda way due to noticing that the fish they fish up for fun are disappearing and likely being frozen. So yeah, that heavily implies Vaugarde has very good food storage tech/Craft (possibly better than ours), and likely also good food production and harvesting tech/skills also.

The Island's incredible knowledge of the stars: while the oldest known orrery in our world is dated from around 205 to 87 BC (ancient Greek, earth centric model), the fact Sif -who would've learnt this as a child/teen- is so very certain that stars are big balls of fire made up of gas is interesting as that's something our world couldn't prove the theory of until around the 1900s (note: it'd been theorized a LONG time but Sif talks like its complete facts to them . Additionally the earliest existing record of a telescope in our world dates to a 1608 patent and we see one of those in game.

Post posting EDIT: A wonderful user qds-place pointed out that Mirabelle has anti-anxiety medication in her room. This is in both ISaT and SAaP and though we're not sure what form the medication takes (pills? Valium? Megitech esc Craft boosters???) the fact they specifically have 'anti anxiety' medication at all (as opposed to idk dragging Mira off and drugging her through the gills) is kind of impressive and if it IS modern anti anxiety pills those could be as recent in creation as the 1950s! So um. Some high levels of tech implied in chemistry there <3

So... yeah. All this, plus the fact that the highest tech implied area, The Island, literally specialised in the study/Craft of turning wishes into reality (for a long enough time period that Wish Craft is culturally so ingrained in the King and Sif that they do it without thinking and it seems intertwined with their nation's religion) has been completely erased from memory to the point anything heavily associated with them has been forgotten, and also we only ever see Dormont aka a little village well away from the cities, it's not hard to conclude that you can basically justify giving the ISaT world any level of tech you want, so long as you lock any of the truly 'setting breaking' stuff like planes and rockets behind The Island's forgetting curse (I would've said trains too but thinking about it trains were invented in 1802 so it's honestly easy to imagine that they totally exist in the ISaT setting/Vaugarde but aren't ever on screen because rail is way too dangerous to consider using while the Curse is active and potentially time freezing things on the tracks).

Side note: We know absolutely nothing about Vaugarde's transport system but as a fan of fantasy RPGs it is honestly a travesty I have yet to see a fic that has flying dragons/wyverns or other fantasy mounts in setting. Like, ok yes, the party would probably have wanted to use those but maybe they don't like the Curse and fled? Maybe the King's Curse targeted them first? Maybe all their handlers dropped the heroes off in Dormont and said 'Well Saviors it's been fun, but well me and Scales here are off to Poteria until things wrap up so best of luck to you' before buggering off?

This isn't really a serious complaint just. Me reminding myself/potentially other fanwork writers out there that there's a lot about the setting we just don't know about and limiting all travel to walking, horse drawn carriage and boat is not actually required. (Also please mix up travelling to the Island. Boats are a wonderful classic and have great thematic vibes for Sif's original leaving of the Island but like. Imagine the sheer in-universe wtf of the memories of The Island suddenly coming back and people on the north coast suddenly realising there's a massive bridge, subway or underwater tunnel leading there that everyone just forgot about - potentially filled with all kinds of Sadnesses that need taking down. Or Warp Panels in a House of Change, idk XD).

Timeline

Canon notes first:

Bonnie is a preteen (8 to 12), Mira and Isa are in their early to mid 20s (with Isa slightly older), Sif is late 20s to 30, and Odile is 40+ Nille is stated to be around 18 to 20.

Siffrin ran away from home when they were a teenager (13 to 17? 18?) and this is heavily implied to be when the Island was Forgotten.

Bonnie (in ISaT specifically*) says that Nille told them that when it happened all the adults were talking about it, hence why they think The Island is close to their village. *In Start Again a Prologue, Bonnie says that they themself remember the adults talking about the Island disappearing, which er. Is a bit impossible given they likely weren't even born yet when that happened but that can be explained away by AU differences, InsertDisc5 still finalising details between SAaP and ISaT, and/or OG Siffrin having been in the loops so long they weren't actually listening when Bonnie was talking and just 'scripted' in their head something 'close enough' to what Bonnie was saying to get the idea (note: mentioned that idea before in my post here on the differences between the House and King in Start Again vs In Stars and Time for anyone curious so er please feel free to give that a read if you haven't already).

Odile mentions remembering 'when it happened' as well and has been 'travelling for years'.

The King 'appeared out of nowhere' sometime in his adulthood, and lived in the city of Corbeaux for a few years before he became the King.

The King became the King as was freezing people in time long enough before his attack on the House of Dormont that everyone inside knew he was coming, there were a wall's worth of newspaper articles about him, and everyone was expecting Euphrasie to defeat him.

Mirabelle's quest began 'almost a year ago' and Sif lost their eye 'recently'.

Thoughts on the above:

Calculating when The Island was forgotten:

Sif being mid 20s to 30 and having run away from home as a teen means that The Island has to have been forgotten somewhere between 9 to 17 years ago with nine only possible if he ran away at age 17 and is only age 26 now, and seventeen being the far opposite if he ran at age 13 and is currently 30.

To narrow down the timeline: Given Sif ran away from home because he 'didn't want to eat his veggies' and 'just wanted to scare [his] parents a little bit' it's probably safe to assume Siffrin was likely on the younger end of the teen spectrum (teens run off all the time sure but with loving parents and over veggies? That screams 'kid who has not yet learned that freaking out the parents will get their ass grounded and/or yelled at a LOT and is therefore best saved for doing fun forbidden stuff that ideally the parents will never find out about' XD) Additionally given Siffrin can't remember his age/birthday etc but Isabeau outright says near the beginning of the game "But you're older than most of the people here?" meaning Sif must be visibly older than Isa or Mira, so he's probably closer to 30 than not.

Those alone would imply the Island likely disappeared closer to the '17 years ago' side of things BUT Nille (tops 20 years old) told Bonnie that "[the Island's disappearance] was all the adults would talk about for ages" and kids usually can't remember anything prior to 4 years of age so with that in mind...

I'd say The Island most likely disappeared between 13 to 16 years ago.

Nille stuff:

This is more a general mention but. Nille is tops 20 years old. Bonnie is between 8 and 12 and doesn't remember their parents at all.

This means Nille ran away with Bonnie and gained emancipation and custody of Bonnie (if Vaugarde has formalised that kind of legal stuff) while she was at most 12 years old herself and could have in theory been as young as 6..!

Regardless, it's very likely the original home situation was that bad, Nille deserves a ton of credit for raising Bonnie as well as she has and I'd say it's very VERY likely she had a lot of help from villagers in Bambosche and/or the local House of Change in doing so. ...But also Bonnie is very adamantly 'my sister and village' and not 'my sister and [specific names who live with us]' so there's clearly by the time Bonnie was 4 or so they were living in their own place so... Yeah. Lotta drive for independence there too it seems (so the party might have more trouble adopting Nille into their group post ISaT than Bonnie might expect).

King stuff:

Already an adult 13 to 16 years ago so at bare minimum 33. Given his vibe probably much older though.

Newspapers get printed pretty quick though for there to be so much speculation and research done into his background so quick, either Vaugarde has some form of fast messaging system (something like a Chappe telegraph on top of the Houses of Change? Odile I think does mention that they'll have a message sent to let Nille know they'll be returning Bonnie...) or the King was freezing stuff for IDK around a month or two before reaching Dormont? Alas can't find out how long it takes to walk across all of France out very easily (I'm sure the numbers are out there but my brain is pudding rn) but if we had those numbers we could probably make some guesstimates based off the rough sketched map of Vaugarde InsertDisk5 did... Which I would link but apparently the tumblr post I had it linked on has been deleted???? 'wails at this very unhappy development'

Mira's journey and Sif's eye:

We really don't know a lot but almost a year ago gives us somewhere around 9 to 11 months to spread the journey out along and after eye removal surgery the patient can out and about as soon as 2 to 6 weeks after, maybe sooner with magic healing (though full recovery/growing used to the changed spacial awareness -which Sif clearly does not have- probably can't be sped up and takes around 3 to 6 months) so um. I'd guestimate Sif's eye injury is really recent; like two months ago tops recent. ...Which sorta explains a lot of why Bonnie is not dealing with it right now and also why the others might be trying to avoid bringing it up (since Sif clearly loves avoiding the issue but they haven't yet realised that maybe they really should bring it up even if it annoys them anyway?)

Odile with some Ka Bue speculation:

When it comes to The Island, how did Odile, presumably living in Ka Bue at the time, remember 'when it happened'? Was the Island well known enough even on the other side of the world that it's disappearance made waves? Or was Odile herself or someone she's close to paying attention to the region? (Like maybe her dad or a friend is/was into politics or trade, keeping up with overseas news and got concerned it could happen to Ka Bue? I'd say 'I remember when it happened' line implies it was more immediate knowledge than being informed by a messenger much later though...)

As for Odile's 'years of travel' I have to wonder, what's left behind for her in Ka Bue? She brings up going back there quite a bit, might just miss home and possibly her father if he's still alive, but given it took her years to get here for something so personal rather than idk 'materially rewarding' I think Odile might have some kinda family estate or something back in Ka Bue... Something she wasn't worried about potentially losing while far away, but solid enough to want to return to, beyond her father who she'd definitely want to see again if he's still around. (...But given how open she is to chilling about Vaugarde a few more months with the others, I really don't think he is alive, since well, given their respective ages and travel between Vaugarde and Ka Bue apparently taking years, there'd definitely an uncomfortably high chance of him passing away while she's gone and that seems like the thing that'd stress Odile out so... Yeah. Probably got an estate in Ka Bue she'd like to take the Family to visit/possibly sell off if she decides she'd like to live with them in Vaugarde so... Just my off the cuff headcanoning here and hoping that gives others ideas or something).

---

Anyway that's all the ramble I've got in me so... yeah! Hope this was interesting and useful for those needing a bit of a 'possible tech'/timeline calcs breakdown for the Island + a few more vague things and um. Probably will post a long winding ramble about my attempt at a ISaT Selkie AU fic I've been working on next <3 (Not to be confused with looped-140-and-counting's already existing and quite wonderful Selkie Siffrin AU which already has a completed oneshot fic, a snippet of sequel, two snippets of prequel/Sif flashbacking and I believe a comic too, all of which I highly recommend <3)

[friendo]

Have you or a loved one been plagued by horny visions of Anton Chigurh from the hit 2007 Coen Brothers film No Country For Old Men based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy???

Well buckle up for ANTON FRIDAYS, where I’ll be posting 1 to 3 reader x Anton fics every Friday for the rest of the year!

(There will be 31 fics in total! I can’t keep up with kinktober because work is insane for me this time of year and I have not had a proper rest in 2 months, so I decided to do my own thing!)

Each fic will either include a gender-neutral reader (i.e. reader can be read as any gender, no pronouns or specific genitalia descriptors are used), or will include 2 chapters both with gender neutral pronouns, with one geared towards an AFAB reader and one for an AMAB reader.

Each month will have a bit of a theme, as well!

For October, I decided to mash my love of horror movies and NCFOM together to do a lot of horror-adjacent fics, so gear up for some AUs featuring slasher Anton, vampire Anton, phone stalker Anton, and more, as well as general macabre-themed fics.

For November, the leaves are changing so we’re doing some switching – this month’s fics will have Anton taking on a more submissive position!

And for December, is it getting a bit cold in here? Or is it just Anton being Anton? This month will be focused on...well, Anton being a bit mean, for lack of a better word.

(NOTE: Titles and release order are subject to change!)

Here's the prompt list below the cut! I'll be updating the list with links as I post them to my AO3.

OCTOBER

5th: Blood Oath

Featuring: Vampire Anton, bloodplay, biting (of course)

11th: Trapped Under Moonlight

Featuring: Werewolf Anton, knotting, scratching scratching biting biting more scratching clawing etc etc

18th: The Reverend of Second Chances

Featuring: Reverend Anton, cheirophilia, religious undertones

Inspired by The Night of the Hunter (1955)

18th: It’s For You

Featuring: Phone stalking, breaking & entering, voyeurism

Inspired by Black Christmas (1974)

25th: A Haunting in Texas

Featuring: Ghost Anton, poltergeist shenanigans, wet dreams

25th: Beyond The Pale

Featuring: Necrophilia, questionable Anton behavior, disgust and desire are one and the same

25th: Moving in Shadows

Featuring: Nyctophobia, hate sex in the dark, predator/prey

31st: Your Pound of Flesh

Featuring: Cannibal reader, willing victim Anton, love hurts

Inspired by Raw (2016)

31st: On a Short Leash

Featuring: Petplay, collaring, vibrators

31st: The Thrill of the Hunt(ed)

Featuring: Slasher Anton, gore, predator/play dynamics

(Despite the 31st being on a Thursday, I couldn’t not post on Halloween!)

NOVEMBER

8th: To Ruin You

Featuring: Omorashi, watersports, bathroom denial

A loose sequel to my fic Self-Control

8th: Pretty Pleas

Featuring: Begging, orgasm denial, oral sex

8th: A Lesson in Self-Restraint

Featuring: Strip teasing, demanding, a tied-up Anton

15th: Three’s a Crowd

Featuring: Anton x Carson x reader threesome, bisexual antics, somebody’s getting spitroasted

15th: Sweet Release

Featuring: Lactation, nipple play

15th: Fingertips

Featuring: Tickling, dubcon

22nd: The Taste of You

Featuring: Lots of sweat, stuck in the heat, car sex, body worship

22nd: Your Special Project

Featuring: Emetophilia, medical play

Will eventually be made into a series

29th: A Job Well Done

Featuring: Sex toys, praise

29th: Chlorine and Salt

Featuring: Public sex, poolside, edging

DECEMBER

6th: Ice Water

Featuring: Temperature play, shower sex, mutual masturbation

6th: Firebug

Featuring: Fireplay, branding, arson

6th: Iron and Grease

Featuring: Boot licking, teeth pulling, face stepping

A loose sequel to my fic Lick the Boot That Kicks You

13th: Words Like Knives and Razor Wire

Featuring: Name-calling, humiliation, spitting

13th: Quiet in the Alley

Featuring: Public sex, against a wall, under pressure

13th: Backseat Blues (AKA The Gas Station Dick Pills Incident of 1983)

Featuring: Forced erection, insatiable urges, car sex

20th: Don’t Hesitate

Featuring: Consensual noncon, roleplay, Anton wants to try something new

20th: Performance Review

Featuring: Office setting, after-hours trysts, Anton in that suit at the end of the book

Inspired by Secretary (2002)

20th: Justified Rage

Featuring: Enemies, hate sex, violent sex, dubious consent

27th: Tears Are Not Enough

Featuring: Dacryphilia, high reader, manipulation, kind of a funny one tbh

27th: Tame You

Featuring: Massages, back scratching, happy ending (literally)

[moonspirit]

Hello Moon,

Might we have some more Grandpa Levi? The thought of him with all the grandkids around him warms the heart.

Personally, I think that when the first kid is just learning to talk, they will try to call Levi Captain, but it will come out as Capin, and it’s a name that will stick. From then on, all the grandkids will call Levi “Capin.”

I imagine Levi is one of those people who is just naturally gifted with babies; if you have a crying baby, give it to Levi, and in 5 minutes, tops, the kid will be snoozing away. In fact, he just has a calming air with kids in general, and I imagine whenever the ambassadors have get-togethers or Family reunions, Levi will be found with all the kids snoozing around him at some point.

Levi also seems like one of those adults who refuses to talk down to kids, no matter the subject. The kid could be talking about unicorns or wizards, and he’ll be following along as if he were talking to an adult (maybe with a few fewer swears, but he can’t help himself if one slips out)

I think this has already been said, but one of the grandkid's first words will be a joyful and loud exclamation of “S**T” or “F**k” he will insist it wasn’t him

One thing he secretly likes doing but would never admit is pretend tea parties. He thinks it’s important to teach children proper tea etiquette, such as how to serve guests and proper stirring techniques.

One year, the guys will get him a photo album with pictures of all the grandkids. While he thanks them in a subdued manner, it is to him the greatest gift he ever received, and he keeps adding more and more photos over the years.

As always, I’d love to hear what you think.

Oohhhhhh this grandpa Levi propaganda has me going all asskdjasjhfsakfk T/////T

Because "Capin" Levi oh my god! It's so ridiculous, everyone else has a good laugh when their kids are running towards Levi for a hug, but he shoots them a glare and says "What? What's wrong with Capin?" It only makes them laugh harder because they just can't stand how adoooooorable it is. That's their former deadly Captain reduced to a Capin now!!!!

And yes he's a human sleeping pill. In fact I hc that Armin, Annie, Jean etc end up relying on him a lot when their infant children just refuse to sleep across weeks and weeks. Levi becomes quite used to opening the door to his former Scout kids sporting unkempt hair, eyebags, dark circles and formula stains, babies on their shoulders and going, "Captain... We haven't slept in a month... would you please..." And BAM- Ackerman Daycare is open again!

The "not talking down to kids" part made me laugh so hard xD I can just imagine a situation where one of the kids is going, ".... and then, my unicorn horse will FART SMELLY GAS into the evil monster's face, and the monster will DIE, and-"

But Levi says, "Unicorns can't fart smelly gas, they fart rainbows."

"But.... rainbows are boring!"

"What if the rainbows are poisonous gas--like cyanide--disguised to look colourful? That way, Unicorn Horse can take down the evil monster faster."

"Hey! That's so cool! .... by the way, what's cyanide gas?"

"... Nothing. Don't repeat that to your mother."

(30 mins away in a town center, Annie sneezes).

And pretend tea parties yes, yes. Levi visits dollhouse experts and carpenters and orders a custom-made pretend tea-set. It's all very nice; tea etiquette and proper stirring techniques are necessary skills for children to learn so they can go out into the Big Scary World. It's an excuse for him to drink more tea, let's be real.

It's all so cute and wonderful to picture T^T thank you for this!

[fatkish]

This is my Boku No Hero Academia O.C. in her hero costume. In case you can’t read my handwritten notes I’ll write them below.

Hero name: the observer from the shadows hero Voror

Birthday: April 26

Height: “5’ 2”

Quirk: Angelic Wraith

Her helmet has a screen that can display information, record videos and sounds, act as a communication device and has a built in computer. The helmet protects her face and head from damage as well as cold temperatures. It also has a gas mask/air filtration system.

Her body suit is made of steel infused, fire/water proof and bullet/tear resistant fabric. The suit is designed to keep heat in and cool out to protect her from cold air while flying. This is also why the suit is non conductive to allow her to fly even during lightning strikes so she isn’t shocked.

She wears tactical gloves with reinforced knuckles. She has a cargo sword holster. Each pocket contains first aid supplies such as disinfectant/iodine, medication such as antacids, motion sickness pills, cough drops, headache/painkillers, gauze, sutures, bandages, etc. she also wears tactical knee and shin guards. The side pockets contain survival tools such as flares, fire starters, etc.

Lastly her boots are steel toed and heeled. The soles are made of military grade shock absorbing rubber.

(I drew this myself)

If anyone needs help designing or drawing their own OC please feel free to leave a request

[toxicanonymity]

WE NEEEEEED NIGHTWALKS JOEL ABC’s 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Fair enough! 👖 A few are from the ones I did before.

NSFW 18+ Misc / x fem!reader / night walks master list

A = Aftercare - Takes a minute for his dirty talk to taper off.  . . He’ll say something about how bad you wanted it or how bad you want it.  

B = Body part - Obsessed with his own equipment.  Loves your whole body but the first thing he noticed about you was your ass and he can’t resist pressing himself into it whenever he sees you anywhere.  Also loves your thighs, can’t keep his hands off them.  

C = Cum - He doesn’t want a drop wasted.

D = Dirty secret - Peeping Tom.  

E = Experience - Very experienced.  Never had a girl as bad as you, though.  

F = Favorite position - Variety is the spice of life but he likes to be able to see how much you’re enjoying it.  

G = Goofy - No, no one is goofy lmao.  But he may tease you / rub it in about how much  you want his cock.  

H = Hair - Hair still mostly dark, not much gray down there.  Better groomed than you might expect - he's kinda vain.

I = Intimacy - There isn’t really a  romantic aspect.  He’s enraptured by your horniness for him. 

J = Jack off -  Used to do it on his porch while you walked around the block. Now sometimes does it in your backyard while he watches through the window.  Otherwise, he likes porn where the woman is super cock hungry.  Also cock worship.  Believe it or not he also likes porn with plot lmao.  Specifically, scenarios that involve strangers like repair men. He likes it because the woman is secretly so horny and all it took was the right man to activate her.  He HCed you that way as soon as he saw you, and he knew he could activate you. 

K = Kink - Voyeur, breeder.  You’ve had to start doing better at taking the pill.  If you’re starting to enjoy it, don’t let him know you’re on birth control.  

L = Location - Enjoys coming onto you and feeling you up in public.   Would be glad to take you anywhere and thought it was super hot the time he fucked you in the parking lot of the gas station, and went down on you in the bathroom of the restaurant.  But there’s also something about having you in his basement that really turns him on.  Reminds him of the first time after he tricked you there and you just couldn’t resist him.  

M = Motivation - He likes to make you desperate for his cock and he wants to hear how good you feel. He gets off on bringing out the naughtiest side of you. He can sense you have a bad, bad girl in there and it's his mission to tease it out. Likes to feel like an aggressor.  Likes control hence locking you in, restraining you, etc. Even if it's something you could escape from like an indoor lock.

N = No - Willingly pull out, or stop pursuing you. 

O = Oral - He’s good at it, he prefers to be inside you but definitely wouldn’t mind being blown.  

P = Pace - Starts slow, pays attention to how your body responds, adjusts accordingly, often getting faster/harder.  

Q = Quickie - Definitely in favor especially if he’s seducing you into doing it somewhere risky. 

R = Risk - Definitely gets off on getting away with stuff, so yeah.  He’s super confident. 

S = Stamina - He can last if he wants, and if you want, but is usually eager to come.   His recovery period is like 15-20 minutes aside from extenuating circumstances where he might be able to go sooner.  But otherwise plenty of time for a smoke or drink in between. 

T = Toys - Doesn’t own any but likes to watch you use yours and would enjoy using yours on you.  

U = Unfair - He’s not much of a tease, but he loves to hear how bad you want his cock so he might try to draw it out of you.  

V = Volume - Grunts, groans, talks dirty.  Intimate volume but not a whisper.  

W = Wild card - Wears PJ pants all the time and he just gets away with it . He has a bunch of different ones, too.  

X = 19 cm (7.5") base to tip erect, and on the girthier end of average.  Just barely curved upward for your pleasure. He's a shower not a grower.  Tan, smooth.  Huge balls.

Y = Yearning - Extremely high, can’t get enough of you.  

Z = Zzz - Pretty fast if you're in his sketch ass basement

-

joel master list

-

NW: @tehweeana@lokanda@blackvelveteen1339@cutesyscreenname@ele-meno-p lmk if i missed you

All joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @ele-meno-p

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

i exchange casual pleasantries with my local gas station clerk roughly once a week on my way into the office. ask how things are going, how the grand babies are, bitch about the weather, etc. i got excited that they had chicken n' waffles in the sandwich section once a few weeks ago, and now every time i stop by in the morning? chicken n' waffles.

another small talk win. you misanthropy-pilled otaku fucks will never have what me and the gas station lady have

[delopsia]

del, i looove the new rhett avi 🌻 and if it’s cool, i meant to ask this over a month ago 😬 for the trio, who falls asleep first on new year’s eve? or like: who is trying not to fall asleep? who is kind of excited and trying to keep everyone awake? who, on december 30th, actively tried to make a case for going to bed early; power point presentation and all, etc? 😂

Aaaa, thank you! 🌼 I'm currently answering things from several weeks ago (oops), so it's kind of fitting 😭

Bobby is gonna fall asleep first, unfortunately :( that baby has an internal clock like no other; it hits ten thirty, and he's gone. Blame the Navy and the gotta-be-up-before-the-rooster-crows upbringing.

Rhett is the monster who was built for this moment. Does he get up before dawn every morning to head to work? Yes. Has that ever stopped him? No. He spent nearly a decade breaking his back on his father's ranch, bull riding nearly every Sunday, and drinking 'till sunrise afterward. Staying up past midnight is nothing for him, and it's Robby's worst nightmare.

"It ain't that hard, jus' keep yer eyes open!" "It doesn't work like that!"

It was Bobby who made and presented the PowerPoint before the New Year's Eve festivities even started. The idea was that if he could tackle the issue while Rhett was suffering his routine evening-yawning fit, then maybe he could sell everyone on the idea of going to bed at a decent time.

He had it all planned; he was gonna deliver a convincing argument and hammer it home with the offer to finally agree to the bedroom photoshoot idea. The one that involved the cheap libido pills Rhett found in a gas station and the two Polaroid cameras that have been resting on his office shelf. It was foolproof!

Unfortunately, Rhett is very, very good at calling bluffs. The idea even stemmed from one of Bob's own suggestions 🙄

Enter: Robert Floyd, 11:59 PM. All half-lidded eyes and a lopsided smile, leaning against the wall. An energy drink has been no match for his internal clock; he's dead on his feet.

He has no idea where the hell his glasses or his shirt went, and he'd look if he weren't too focused on Rhett and Reader. They're standing in the living room, blaring their current favorite song, television counting down for a ball to drop, and Rhett's still clinging to his New Year's shotgunning tradition.

Watching Rhett empty a can of Rainier beer, foam rolling down his stubbled jaw, makes Bobby wonder if he can get drunk from the sight alone.

And so maybe Bob is somewhat delirious. Not quite thinking as he stumbles forward and kisses that pearly white foam off of Rhett's neck and chin, bitterness be damned. Maybe the Reader is joining in on the other side.

Bob doesn't remember falling asleep, but the next time he opens his eyes, Rhett's teasing him about how he stopped mid-kiss and blatantly said they would continue this in the morning.

[catsockpuppet]

Ethan song ramble time! today’s song is… (drumroll please)… Lonely by Payale Royale!!

TWS: sui talk/thoughts, unhealthy habits (smoking), parental neglect and implied abuse

Ethan is 15/16 in this ramble!

[ Ethan Masterpost ]

╭──────────★ ─────────╮

“My life don’t mean that much to me / So I’m Living for you / Yeah, I’m living for you.” - Ethan, genuinely, didn’t care about their own life. The only reason they kept going was for morgana, they couldn’t leave her alone. they loved her. buuuut—

“[And] you can’t stand the sight of me / So what’s the point of this fucked up catastrophe?” - Morgana was upset with ethan for a while when they lived with their parents, she’d gotten used to seeing her father (ethan’s stepdad) upset with ethan so her little-kid brain thought it was how things should be.

“[I wait for my time to start / As I waste it / As I waste it] I pop the pills to waste some time” - Ethan smoked a LOT. their mom left cigarettes outs and didn’t really care about eth smoking, she didn’t care about them doing anything, actually. that’s why ethan was allowed pierce their ears and dye their hair so often, their mom didn’t pay attention. but, back to the lyric. ethan smoked CONSTANTLY. bored? smoke. sad? smoke. upset? smoke. etc.

“Too lazy for a suicide / I just watch the days pass hoping to die” - They never really got too deep into planning, but it was always in the back of their mind. they’d cross the street and think about getting hit, climb the roof and think about falling, pick fights with the biggest guys in school hoping they got knocked out and their mom wouldn’t care enough to save them…

“Daydreaming of my funeral / Like who would go, bet no one would show / Hey dad, would you show up for me now? / Just to bury your little boy in the ground?” Ethan had been told, by their mother, that their dad (aaron) abandoned them because they were so,,, them (/neg). So, whenever ethan toyed with the idea of their funeral, they imagined aaron showing up. they wondered if he’d cry, who’d he even cry for. them? or would he cry for the gas he wasted driving to them? whatever the case, ethan kind of assumed the only way they’d see aaron again was if something horrible happened to them. onetime when they were in the ER, ethan watched the door hopefully, perking up everytime it opened because they thought it could be aaron. it never was.

“You broke my heart when you left me” - Ethan was fucking devastated when aaron left and constantly thought about how, maybe things wouldn’t be so bad if he stayed. sure their mom said he despised them, but maybe he wouldn’t, i don’t know, light ethan on fire?

hey! thanks for reading!! i appreciate it a lot :) /gen

maybe check out my ethan playlist next? you can recommend the next song i do!

x

[moroser]

[incoming long and personal and dark post]

it dawned on me that it’s april and that means it’s been 6 years since i stopped doing drugs. big achievement. i did weed the whole time, thinking i needed it to keep away from the worse stuff, but i stopped that too, almost 2 months ago now. everything i’m about to talk about i did without anyone in my life (offline) noticing and all by myself.

my entire life has been unstable and so difficult. and i mean difficult and sad. i used to drink pretty heavily, but i stopped when i found pills. i was taking pretty much any opioid i could find, i even stole them. i was text book addict with pills. i had every excuse to keep going with it, it made sense to me at the time. i was in so much pain mentally, emotionally, and eventually, physically. taking them was reprieve. 

eventually, i was taking so many a day, quite honestly i should have died. my brain was blank, i lost my creativity and i stopped drawing, which is the one thing i love the most to do. create. even though i did not stop, the fact i felt nothing in that realm anymore was heartbreaking. i’d spent several nights staring at the ceiling practically waiting to die. i had one dream that i can remember while on drugs and it was of me staring at myself opened-eyed and dead on my bed. it shook me.

the drugs affected my ability to think, cry and feel, then one day on my way to work, after taking so many, i got so sick on the side of the road on the freeway several times. eventually i pulled off into a town i didn’t know and passed out in the parking lot of a gas station for who knows how long. i woke up dazed with the taste of puke in my mouth, and totally dehydrated. i missed work, i was embarrassed with myself. i have no idea how long i sat there for before getting out of the car to walk around. eventually i made it home but i felt like i wasn’t the same after that. 

decided to detox (after trying before, and failing), which was the worst events i’ve been through in my life. took days, nearly a week to get over the worst of the symptoms. i don’t think i slept at all. i was so sick, shakes and chills, vomiting, etc. i let spongebob play for the entire time, that sponge grounded me lol. i’d made it through that time. and i stuck too it, using my desire to feel my creativity again and wanting to be better to my body to stay away from relapse. 

2017 i cleared my system of alcohol, pills, energy drinks, pop, and the only thing i’d let myself use was weed because i felt it would stop me from everything else. and technically, it did. it aided me for a long time. but the passed ~3 years i’ve been so ill with stomach issues and nausea and throwing up that i decided to stop that too. 

so now i’ve been completely sober for 1 month and 21 days. for the first time since high school i have nothing in my system that is altering me the way substance abuse has. it’s been a major adjustment. my focus is shit, my sleeping is difficult and my dreams are insanity. it literally feels like i’m sleeping just to wake up somewhere else because my dreams are so vivid and clear. i wake up every four hours having to adjust and remember i actually live here, not in dreamland. i didn’t dream at all while on drugs or weed, so in a way, i welcome the vibrancy of them. 

looking back, none of those things helped me. they only broke and shrouded my spirit with a darkness i don’t want to feel ever again. i want to be healthy and i want to give my body the chances that it deserves. i want to heal properly. i want to live so much. i want to find someone to be with that will understand me and accept me even with my flaws and history. i feel better already, but i know there’s still a long journey ahead and i can only hope it gets better. i deserve better. i know i’m a good person. i know i have so much creative potential in me and it’s what i want to give my energy and soul to.  

thanks for listening, if you read this. i am proud of myself for getting as far as i have but the support from my friends and strangers online has been a colossal sense of communal help i’ve never had offline. sharing my art has been a big help and just people enjoying it means so much to me. thank you.  

[pradame]

hi beautiful!🫶🏼

im 39 weeks pregnant, due October 30th. i plan on breast feeding but ive heard of women having difficulties with supplying enough milk for their babies and im afraid i might struggle as well. do you breastfeed? if so, do you have any tips on how to make enough for a freezer stash? or just tips in general? please 🙏🏽❤️‍🩹

Hello & congratulations! 🎀🫧🍼

So yes, there are plenty of moms who’ve struggled with their milk supply coming in several days after they’ve given birth too! I was producing droplets.. literally lol. but babies eat very little in the beginning so you make it work the best you can.

My milk supply didn’t increase until about 2 weeks after I had my baby and I’d noticed it was when I increased my calorie intake.

these are a list of foods/drinks that helped me:

-coconut water

-lactation cookies (amazon)

-boobie milk bars (amazon)

-oatmeal

-liquid gold pills from legendairy milk

-chickpeas, garbanzo beans

-brewers yeast (i take in pill form)

-lean meats

basically a high protein & high fat diet

you also might wanna stay away from any gassy foods like cabbage, avocado, broccoli etc to avoid causing gas pains in your babies tummy. Mine struggled for some time due to my clean eating 😭

There is a method called the power pump, it tricks your body into thinking its cluster feeding so your breast will produce more milk.

I hope this helps and remember to be patient with your body! i almost gave up 2 times but I’m glad I didn’t. About 2.5 months strong and my freezer stash is still growing 🥰

Good luck mama ♡♡