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litcityblues · 6 months ago

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Weird Feelings, But A Fond Farewell

I have weird feelings about Star Trek Discovery. When it was first announced, I was less than thrilled. Another prequel, I thought, and not even a particularly interesting one. (There's a whole blank page of history between The Original Series and The Next Generation that remains largely unexplored in the chronology. What happens in the Temporal Wars or the aftermath of the Dominion War? I would have been intrigued to see that any of those-- a prequel to the Original Series? Not so much.)

The first couple of seasons were interesting and I'm still not entirely sure how to feel about them. For a start, Michael Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) is not exactly your typical Trek Captain. Point of fact, she starts out by getting her Captain, Phillippa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh) killed and starting a war with the Klingons. If that wasn't enough, we get more wrinkles thrown at us: Michael's parents had been killed in a Klingon attack on their colony, and with no other family, she gets adopted by Sarek of Vulcan and his wife, Amanda Grayson.

That's right: Spock had a secret adopted human sister.

Now, that part didn't bother me. In fact, it was logical, after a fashion- though why we hadn't met her before was still something of a mystery. But if you're Sarek and you've got a human wife and a half-human son that you struggle to understand and connect with, a human sibling (even an adopted one) would be something worthy of consideration should the opportunity to present itself.

The fact that Michael gets raised on Vulcan also makes the character make sense-- if Spock has trouble dealing with his emotions from time to time, Michael lets logic get in the way of hers, which is why she insists on firing on the Klingons, believing, logically, that they will only respond to a show of force.

Speaking of the Klingons: not the Klingons you've come to know and expect-- which I was also of two minds about. On the one hand: Discovery era Klingons are far more alien than 90s-Trek Era Klingons. They feel alien. They feel new-- their leader, T'Kuvma, lights the beacon of Kahless and unites the warring houses behind him in a war against the Federation.

We then meet a prisoner Michael Burnham who gets swept aboard the Discovery where we meet Tilly (Mary Wiseman), Stamets (Anthony Rapp), Saru (Doug Jones) and Dr. Culber (Wilson Cruz) and we soon find ourselves running around the Mirror Universe with Captain Gabriel Lorca (Jason Isaacs) using a spore drive, where Discovery jumps from Point A to Point B instantaneously using the spore network that runs throughout the Universe.

After we get the first season dealt with, we get a plot twist for the second season when they encounter the U.S.S. Enterprise and Pike (Anson Mount) takes command to investigate seven mysterious signals that have been appearing all over the galaxy.

Pike was so good in this role and the introduction of the Enterprise went so well that we got Strange New Worlds out of the deal, so if Discovery did anything for Trek, there's always that. You can hate every episode of this series, but we got Strange New Worlds out of it, so something good came of it. (I don't hate this series, by the way. I think parts of it are very good indeed.)

But what I think turns the show is the decision at the end of Season 2 to send Discovery 900 years into the future.

Whether it was because the showrunners and writers realized that had sort of written themselves into a corner or whether it was the plan all along, I don't know but it was the boldest move in the history of the franchise- they BOLDLY WENT-- how much more Star Trek could you get than that?

Season 3, Discovery's First in the Future was interesting. The Federation and the Galaxy were devastated by a disaster known as 'The Burn' where all the dilithium was suddenly rendered inert by something-- Discovery, once it reaches the future, sets about finding what's left of Starfleet and putting it back together, which they successfully do and defeat the Emerald Chain which is the preeminent power in the galaxy. By the end of the season, Discovery is transporting dilithium to start the process of reconnecting planets and the Federation starts coming back together little by little.

(Honestly, I need to rewatch this season at some point. I might be judging it a little unfairly. But it feels like the weakest of the five to me. There's more than a touch of Andromeda to it and the ultimate cause of The Burn should have been something more grounded in science than I remember it being, in my opinion. But overall, the story breaks new ground-- good for Trek and takes big swings-- which is also good for Trek, so on balance, I'm okay with it.)

Seasons 4 and 5 were where I think this show started to find its feet a bit. You can have issues with the serialized storytelling of both seasons, but they worked really well for me and ultimately, I think I'm going to come down to the notion that this show deserved at least one, maybe two more seasons.

The finale was good. There was a wedding and nobody died (which might be a first for Star Trek?). It was not revealed to be a holodeck adventure that Commander Riker was enjoying as a spectator. Nothing can probably top 'All Good Things' but I'd slot 'Life Itself' probably just behind 'Endgame' in terms of finales. You got the sense- especially with Zora and Discovery just being sent away for an unspecified mission- that there was more story to be told, but it also felt like an ending. It felt earned. It felt final and I could work with that.

It wasn't all perfect: Owo and Detmer were more or less absent from the back half of season five, which sucked- they do make an appearance in the finale though. And if Discovery wasn't that great at something, it was probably exploring the lives and characters of the rest of the bridge crew more effectively. I think they got better at the deeper into their run that they got, but it was still never what it should have been, in my opinion.

They left some interesting story possibilities on the table as well. I've seen a lot of older, crustier Trek fans complaining about how all the characters do is examine their feelings and their various traumas and yes, there's some of that, but also, look what these characters have been through: if you left your entire family behind and traveled 900 years to the future, you'd probably need some therapy too.

But it's not the Discovery crew that would have made the interesting storyline there-- it's the Starfleet that stayed hidden and stuck together through the years of The Burn. What was that like? Do those Captains resent the sudden intrusion of these randos from the past? (I think Rayner's character was meant to play with this idea a bit in the final season.)

Overall: I was left wanting more and who could ask for anything more than that? (Other than two more seasons and a movie, maybe?) Discovery may have fallen victim to the ongoing churn in the streaming wars, but I do think, on a rewatch, it will hold up better than people think.

But as the first new Trek series in over a decade when it debuted in 2017, it's worthy of appreciation. It took big swings. It wasn't afraid to challenge franchise orthodoxy and most importantly, to me, as a fan, it went boldly where no other Trek show had gone before.

Did I like the serialized storytelling? Not always. Did I like every episode? No. Do I think it could have been more grounded in parts? Yes. Did it miss opportunities and storylines? Yes. But on balance, this is a worthy addition to the franchise and I do think people are going to reassess this show positively when they look back on it. (My general impression is that people either love this or absolutely hate it.) My Grade: *** out of ****

#star trek discovery #star trek #review #michael burnham #sylvia tilly #saru

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ussarchangel · 7 years ago

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2257: A Multi-Verse Odyssey

Giftee: @geekcornucopia

Prompt: Prime Lorca makes his way back to the prime universe after visiting a few realities.

Genre: Bit of angst, bit of crack!Fic. If such a medley is ever possible.

Rated: T for some bad language

Notes: This is my first time taking part in a fic exchange. Thank you @geekcornucopia for the prompts, @ussarchangel for setting this up and @makimurakaori for giving it the once-over. Any remaining nonsense can be blamed on me.

“Commander Burnham? Is it true?”

Michael looked up from her plate, momentarily confused by hearing what had become an unfamiliar title but in a familiar voice. Tilly - Ensign Tilly, she corrected herself, since they both shared new ranks - was clutching her lunch tray close to her chest from underneath rather than the sides, something she only did when she was either nervous or excited or, as was often the case, both.

“What’s true?”

“About… him. That he’s going to be our new captain?” She frowned. “Although would he really be new? Our new old captain, maybe? I mean, he’s not the same man, right?”

Tilly had made a lot of progress in modulating the volume of her voice, but she still had some way to go, especially when she was… nervous or excited or both. Michael indicated that she should sit down next to her, aware that eyes were beginning to turn in their direction. Most people on Discovery had learned to tune her out, but they were on Earth Spacedock where their ship was undergoing maintenance; here they were surrounded by strangers who knew only of them following their victory over the Klingons and Michael found that she disliked fame nearly as much as infamy.

“Yes, it’s true,” she finally confirmed, as casually as she could. “Provided he is proven fit to serve and command. According to Sarek, that should not be a problem.”

Sarek had, apparently, spent a lot of time alongside a select few other people talking to Lorca and that was how Michael knew of what was to come. He had openly asked her, in that blunt yet perfectly polite Vulcan way, whether she thought it would prove difficult for her working with him, and she now suspected that he had requested his time with Lorca to vet the man himself. She and Sarek still had some way to go to repair their relationship but she knew now beyond a doubt that he cared deeply for her.

“That’s gonna be so weird.” Tilly wrinkled her nose. “We need a new word for weird, actually, because frankly after everything we’ve seen in the last few months, ‘weird’ doesn’t seem to cut it anymore, does it?”

“No,” Michael said with a half-smile. “It certainly doesn’t.”

Her friend didn’t know the half of it. Tilly had been very aware (and possible over-invested in) Michael’s relationship with Ash and it had been a blessing when that had turned into a special kind of disaster - the kind of disaster Michael was beginning to think was reserved only for her. She had been there to push Michael when she needed to be pushed, and accepting when she had needed that, and she credited Tilly for enabling her eventually to have the best parting from Ash that could be hoped for. She hadn’t needed to go to her and ‘talk’, Tilly already knew what she needed to know.

But Tilly didn’t know about Gabriel Lorca. She didn’t know that the man who had turned out to be from a mirror universe had been his Michael’s lover, that they had quite possibly plotted to take over the Quadrant together, that he had then more or less declared his love for her…

Saru knew. Knew that part, at least, what Michael had meant to that Gabriel Lorca, but had no idea what their captain had meant to Michael, and it was something far deeper than she felt capable to unearth. Maybe it was because she couldn’t talk about it that it hurt so much more than Ash. Maybe it was because she had let him fall, tired of getting hurt and wanting to do some hurting of her own. Except she couldn’t take it back. She’d seen him in her dreams for a while; once she had taken the hand he had extended to her. When she’d woken up, her heart thumping in her chest, it had taken a while for her to work out what was dream and what was real.

No, he wasn’t going to be the same person. People said that as though it was going to make it all easier, when in fact Michael wanted him to be the Lorca she knew. So she could say sorry. So they could start over.

“It’s macaroni and cheese.” Michael blinked, raised her eyes to look at Tilly. “You’ve been staring at your plate like you have no idea what’s there. It’s macaroni and cheese.”

She straightened and poked her fork at her food. “Trust me, that may be what it looks like but that’s not what it is. At least it’s nothing like the one Amanda used to make.”

“What’s Vulcan food like?”

Tilly could sometimes have an overbearing, distracting presence, and Michael loved her for it.

“They could move things with their minds?”

He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. “Is this really necessary? I’ve already been through one debriefing and it was pretty thorough. No toilet breaks. Are we gonna have toilet breaks?”

“Do you require use of sanitary facilities, Captain Lorca?”

That was the Vulcan Sarek. He had known of many different Sareks in his travels and had even met some of them; after his encounter with the one in the universe where Vulcans had not embraced logic, he liked this present version a lot. Lorca’s fingers pulled slightly at his collar, remembering too vividly how that particular Sarek had tried to strangle him, looking to avenge his daughter’s honour: Lorca had apparently abandoned her after she’d become pregnant with “his” child. She’d saved his life, her arrival to plead with her father triggering the jump that had allowed him to escape.

“No, I don’t. But I might. Soon,” he replied, defiantly emptying the tall glass of water in front of him.

“I can assure you that you are free to make use of the facilities any time you wish, Captain -”

“So they could move things with their minds?”

Lorca turned to look at the Starfleet officer questioning him. Lieutenant Commander Stamets had not been at the previous debriefing but he had co-developed the Discovery’s spore drive and had navigated the ship and its crew back from one of the parallel universes they’d been dragged to by one of his counterparts. No one knew more about the Mycelial network than Stamets, Lorca had been told, and he could tell the man was pretty annoyed at the thought that it may no longer be the case.

“Yes. Or rather… their will. They didn’t share much with outsiders.”

“And by outsiders you mean people who were not… What did you call them?”

“I didn’t call them anything. They called themselves Jedis.”

“And they had…. Light weapons?”

“Lightsabers. Used it as you might a sword, except it was a beam of light. Saw one go through metal, repel laser shots -”

Stamets uttered a grunt of disbelief. “This is the stuff of fairy tales.”

“And before Zefram Cochrane fired the Phoenix into Warp, we thought telepathy and people with pointy ears were the stuff of fairy tales, too,” he replied, crossing his arms and jerking his chin towards Sarek.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. “Captain Lorca is correct, Lieutenant Commander Stamets,” he said. “Since it appears that the theory of an infinity of parallel universes may be true, anything - quite literally - may be possible.”

“Why would I make this up, Stamets? You think I don’t know how crazy this makes me sound? I was asked to share any information about my experiences that may help Starfleet - and you - find a way to tap into the Network safely for everyone involved. So that’s what I’m doing.”

Stamets stared at him for a moment, impatience and frustration written all over his face. There was something of a grudge in the way he looked at him that made Lorca assume Stamets had some unfinished business with the Mirror Universe Lorca he had served under for many months. “Ok. All right. And this is helping us how?”

“They talked about this thing called midi-chlorians. Knowing what I know now about the Network, it seems clear to me that these things enabled some people to tap into the Network somehow, like your spores do, or the Tardigrades. As for what you can do with that knowledge, I have no idea. You’re the scientist, not me.”

The debriefing went on for another hour or so, by which time Lorca really did need to make use of the facilities. Stamets’ manner had softened a little, although he wondered whether that would have lasted if he’d mentioned the universe with the Wizards and Muggles, but the Scientist had been taken with Lorca’s recollection of the encounter he’d had with someone who seemed to have their own version of a spore drive, although the Doctor, as he called himself, could only travel through space and time within his own universe.

Dismissed from the debriefing and having relieved himself, Lorca was looking forward to something to eat when he was caught by Sarek before he could make it to the turbolift.

“Captain Lorca, may I speak with you?”

Lorca groaned. “I think I’ve done enough talking today, thanks. I’ve told you all I could already. Twice.”

“I am aware of and thankful for your detailed testimony. However, this time it is I who has something to tell you.” A tingle of apprehension ran up his spine. “It is about Michael Burnham.”

Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

Lorca had hoped to avoid the subject for a little longer. Besides, he knew plenty about her from her files: parents killed by Klingons, adopted by Ambassador Sarek and his human wife Amanda, raised on Vulcan where she achieved the rare distinction of attending the Vulcan Science Academy, Starfleet’s first mutineer, warmonger… And now, of course, saviour of the Federation, it seemed. Like the numerous other Michaels he’d met, she clearly didn’t do things by halves, as well as also being raised by Sarek (though not all of them were). The only kind of information Sarek could possibly relay to him at this point had to be personal.

He could have requested another command, left well alone, but what good would it do? In the end, in all his travels, it had only ever come down to one thing: Michael Burnham. There was no point in fighting his fate.

Tilly was sharing stories of the most disappointing deserts she’d ever had when Michael’s communicator beeped, requesting her presence in Transporter Room 3B. There she found Sarek waiting for her.

“Are you returning to Earth, Father?”

“Only briefly, so your mother and I may travel home together. But I have not asked you here to say goodbye, not yet. Eight years ago, I brought you to Captain Georgiou. Now I wish, if you would let me, to bring you to your new Captain.”

Michael frowned. “I’m not sure I understand. Am I being transferred?”

“No. I am referring to Captain Gabriel Lorca.”

“So it has been confirmed?”

“It has.”

She already knew it was unlikely not to be. Logically, she should not have been surprised. Logically. “I still do not understand. We don’t need to use transporters to board the Discovery.”

“He is waiting to meet with you on the surface.”

“Why?”

“Why is he waiting to meet with you, or why is he waiting on the surface?”

“Both, actually.”

“I suggested an informal meeting to him. The specific location was his choice.”

“You suggested it to him? Why?”

Sarek glanced at the crewmember manning the operations panel. “Let us transport to Earth and I shall explain.”

She wanted to object, stand her ground, but it was pointless to. The meeting may have been Sarek’s idea but Lorca could make it an order. Refusing to go would only delay the inevitable and felt childish.

They rematerialised in a small park just outside Starfleet Academy. Michael blinked away the sudden brightness, then followed Sarek onto a tree-lined path.

“When I mind-melded with Lieutenant Saru upon your return to our universe, I saw many things that he had experienced, and was made aware of many things that he knew. Your relationship with the former Captain Lorca went deeper than those he had with other members of his crew.”

Be careful what you wish for, Michael. She had wished for someone else to know but now that they did, the pain and shame were made real. Some of it was habit, of course - the fear of disappointing Sarek by showing emotions, her own anger that she could not stop feeling because all she knew of feelings was sorrow and grief now.

“This previous Lorca gave you something that you had lost, something you would not let your family give you both before and after your sentencing,” Sarek continued. “The greater the gift, the more grievous the anguish when it is gone. It is to be expected that you should feel betrayed, Michael. And trust, while easily lost, is extremely hard to regain.”

“He is not that Lorca. He is as worthy of my trust as any other Starfleet Captain.”

Sarek halted. “That is indeed the logical position. Yet you know as well as I do that it is more complicated than logic would allow, or you would not have brought Emperor Georgiou back to our universe.” Michael looked away. “It is not a reproach, merely a statement of fact. It was a difficult task, reminding myself that she was not my dear friend. I know what she meant to you. I also know that you would never let someone die if you could prevent it.”

“You’re worried I will only see the other Lorca.”

“Are you not?” She had nothing to reply to that. “When I said I suggested this meeting, it was not entirely accurate. While I suggested the meeting to Captain Lorca, it was your mother who suggested the meeting to me.”

“Amanda? This is Amanda’s idea?”

“She felt that meeting with Captain Lorca in a context not over-burdened with duty or protocol would allow for a freer exchange of thoughts.”

Michael looked around, wondering whether she might be able to spot him. All she could see were people milling about, enjoying their lunch break in the sun; at the other end of the park she could hear the cries of children enjoying a playground. It was all very normal, and that felt… weirdest of all.

“I think she may be right.”

“She usually is. Captain Lorca said he was hungry. You may find him near a food stand.” Sarek raised his hand. “Dif-tor heh smusma.”

Michael raised hers. “Sochya eh dif.”

With a deep breath, she left her father and took another look at her surroundings. After a few moments she spotted a kiosk near a bandstand and headed that way. There she found him, much like the first time she had the other one, standing ramrod straight with his back to her - except this time he didn’t half-blend into the darkness. Instead, he stood out like a sore thumb in his Starfleet uniform, slightly rocking on his heels as he waited at the back of a queue of civilians. Silently Michael gave thanks to her adoptive mother, because just looking at the back of his head was enough to send her stomach roiling with apprehension and hope. Here in this park, surrounded by strangers who could not judge and an open sky that made her feel like there was somewhere she could escape to, she was able to steady herself. With another breath, she approached him, straightened and crossed her arms behind her back.

“Captain Lorca?”

“Yeah?” The first time she had met the other Lorca, he had been suave and open. This one was scowling and looked distracted, then wary as he recognised her. “Commander Burnham. Would you care for some chilli?”

“No, thank you, sir. I’ve already eaten.”

He looked back at the queue, then sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, it figures. C’mon, let’s take a walk.”

As they walked past a pond, Lorca stopped and half-smiled. “They’ve taken down the fencing. That’d have been helpful 30 years ago.”

“Sir?”

“When I was 15, I went skinny-dipping in there. Made the mistake of taking my clothes off before climbing over the fence, and then the water was freezing, so climbing back over afterwards was pretty embarrassing. Worst thing is, I knew it was stupid as I was doing it.”

It took her a beat to understand what had happened. “So why did you do it?”

“Same reason boys and men ever do stupid things they know they shouldn’t: to impress a girl.” Michael’s steps faltered slightly, which he seemed to catch from the corner of his eye. She saw him clench his fists, his lip twitch, but he said nothing.

They walked on for a bit in silence, until he spoke again. “I don’t suppose Sarek told you how we were supposed to do this?”

“No. That’s not his way.”

“Why do Vulcans always do this? Make everything so hard?”

“They would say that for them, the easier way has led their people into much greater harm.”

“Fair enough.” He directed her towards a small grassy mound. “I read your and Lieutenant Saru’s reports on what happened in that other universe, about the other Gabriel Lorca, his deception. What happened with Ash Tyler. You’ve been through a hell of a lot. More than is fair. For that I am sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t say it was.” She looked up at him. The mirror Lorca had often shown her understanding, but the blue eyes she was looking into now were shining with warmth and kindness. “Will you sit with me?”

Michael looked around; there were no benches nearby, so he clearly meant sitting on the grass. She nodded and they sat on the ground, Lorca with his arms around his pulled-up knees, Michael with her legs crossed. She became aware that he looked awkward and seemed to be pondering something difficult, his lip twitching again.

“This is difficult for you, too, sir, isn’t it? Why?”

“Because I don’t even know how to begin to explain why it is difficult. This -” Lorca gestured at the sky then at her and back at himself. “- This kind of thing isn’t my forte at all. Not one for philosophy or poetry, never been. But after everything I have seen lately… There are things I wanna tell you but I don’t think you’re gonna like it. I know that because I don’t like it, either. Because while I know it to be true, I don’t understand why and that really pisses me off.” He looked at her. “Do you believe in destiny, Michael?”

He had been vetted, tested. There was no doubt this was the Gabriel Lorca that belonged in this universe. To all intents and purposes, he was a stranger to her. So what did it mean that he used the same words as his predecessor?

“I’m going to have to get used to that look. Right?” he interrupted her thoughts.

“What look?”

“The one you’ve got on your face right now, when I say or do something he did.”

“And how much do you know about that?”

“Sarek told me the other guy did a lot of good things for you, how much you trusted him. So I’d have understood if you’d punched me the first time you met me.”

Michael shook her head. “No. No, never. If anything… I just want to say sorry.”

“Sorry? You? What the hell could you have to say sorry for?”

“Because when Emperor Georgiou killed him, he reached for me. He was dying and he reached for me. And I stepped away from him. But I know now that all the things he did for me… they were real. He saved my life, in so many ways. I should have saved his. I tried - but not hard enough. And at the end, the one thing I could have done for him…. I didn’t.”

“Your other Captain… He was in love with you, wasn’t he?”

Anger welled inside her at the thought that Sarek would have shared something so private, yet again she reminded herself that is exactly what she needed. A few months ago she would have been able to ride this out, focus on the work, but she was exhausted and recognised that it would be better to let something out before the dam burst altogether.

“Sarek didn’t need to tell me that,” Lorca continued, as though he’d read her thoughts. “If there is one thing I have learned from all my travels, it’s that there is always a somewhere and somewhen with a Gabriel Lorca who loves a Michael Burnham.”

Nice job, Gabe. Really smoothly done.

Michael stared at him, looking appalled,then stood up. “I think this conversation is taking a very inappropriate turn, Captain.”

Lorca sighed, then stood as well. “You asked me why this was difficult for me, Commander. I think I’ve just told you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t believe in destiny, either. But you’re a scientist, right? If you carry out the same experiment, with the same elements, in the same conditions - what happens, over and over?”

She frowned. “The same results.”

“The same results. It’s not destiny - it’s probability, that’s all.”

“But the conditions are not the same. The mirror universe - we called it that because as far as we can tell it was the opposite of everything we know. So how could it have turned out the same for our counterparts?”

“Because the conditions were the same - for our counterparts. They lived in the same universe. They were changed in the same ways. But they remained aligned with each other.”

“So what are you saying? That people… that consciousness… moves on some kind of curve, or spectrum?”

“Honestly? It’s like I said, I don’t understand it myself. I can only tell you what I saw.”

Michael crossed her arms. “And what exactly did you see?”

“You returned from the mirror universe and ended the war with the Klingons about three months ago. I was found in this universe about two months ago. You probably know that I ended up travelling through multiple universes. What you may not know is that I was gone far longer than a few months. I was gone for about three years.”

“Three years? But how is that possible?”

“The network travels through time as well as space.”

“How did you travel through the Network?”

“I don’t know. At least not exactly. Which is why it took me so long to get back here. But now I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anyone. The reason I was gone for so long is because that’s how long it took me to figure out why I kept travelling. And that reason… is you, Michael.”

Her eyes widened then turned darker, more guarded. It was an expression he was familiar with and the sensation was uncomfortable. Of course his counterpart would have felt something for this Michael. Lorca understood now what home meant. That’s how it must have felt to him, finding this Michael after his had died.

“There are different ways to travel between parallel universes. Mostly it has been accidental. When the Mirror Lorca travelled here, I didn’t end up in his universe. Somehow, I was dragged into the Mycelial Network. And when that happened, I think it knew I did not belong where I ended up, probably because my presence in the new universe - it was like a pothole in a road. Or a short-circuit. Wrong connections being made. Right piece, wrong jigaw.”

“If that’s the case, why did you not keep hopping continuously? From what I have heard, you stayed in some universes longer than others.”

“When you are doing a jigsaw, you only know two pieces don’t fit together when you try to put them together. So yeah, it took me a long time, until I realised that I only ever jumped from one universe into another when I met one of your counterparts. As soon as we… connected -” he made a fizzing sound, mimicked an explosion with fingers “- the Network knew it wasn’t right. It’s just that sometimes it took me a long time to find the other you.”

Michael was silent for a moment. “What do you mean, connected?” she asked.

“The connection you have with your father Sarek. Through his katra. I can only guess that maybe what the Vulcans can do on some level is tap into the Network and that is how they connect telepathically, do their mind-melding. Human beings can’t connect in the same physical, tangible way but I think on some levels we still do connect. So when I made an emotional connection to another Michael, the Network knew it wasn’t right, because it should have been.”

He could practically see her working her way through multiple thoughts at once. “If there’s an infinite number of universes, you could have been travelling forever.”

“If I hadn’t realised what I needed to do, what I could do, yeah.”

“And what was that?”

“I looked for you, Michael. When I was in the Network, I thought of home. I thought of you, what I knew about you. And I found you.” He smiled, ever so faintly. “You walked away from me a few times. But eventually you took my hand. You brought me home.”

“The dreams…” Tears sprung in her eyes, and he felt some in his, too. “I had this dream…” Lorca nodded. “And then 3 days later we heard you’d been found… How could I not see it -”

“Why would you, Michael? It doesn’t make any real sense even to me.”

“What does it mean? That we’re some kind of… The Vulcans would call it ‘bonded.’”

“I’ll try not to take the look of horror on your face personally,” Lorca said. “I told you earlier that I didn’t like it, either. There was someone, many years ago… Balayana. I loved her, I was going to marry her. But she died. I thought that was it for me. I’d met the love of my life and I’d lost her, because shit happens. To find that there is someone else…” He paused, still surprised it was so difficult for him to talk about.

“I’m sorry.” Her expression softened. When he sat back on the grass, she joined him, too. “This is all very… complicated.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe…” She let out a long breath. “Maybe it would be best if I transferred to another ship.”

“Is that what you want?”

“It would be easier. Would it not?”

“Someone once told me that easier could lead you to greater harm.”

Michael raised an eyebrow at him. “I am not Vulcan.”

“Hard to tell right now with that face you’re pulling.”

She smiled and, he could tell, almost laughed. Yes, it was complicated. But if this had been the first time he’d met her, or even remained in this universe and been assigned to the Discovery, it would have appeared very simple to him. The pull he felt towards her was unmistakable.

“Where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Maybe we will only be friends. Maybe not. What I do know is that, at some level, the universe knows we belong together, in one way or another.” And you know that, too, he wanted to add. Because you felt something for the other Lorca. That connection. But there was no point pushing her. She’d already followed him a long way.

Instead Lorca reached for Michael’s hand, covering it with his own, gently closing his fingers around hers. After a beat, he felt her thumb gently stroking him.

And he knew he was home.

END.

#uss archangels #uss archangel fic exchange #Star Trek Disco #michael burnham x gabriel lorca #Lorcham #michael burnham #Captain Lorca #Captain Gabriel Lorca #Gabriel Lorca #excellent excellent fic #submission

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