Kane & Jim #55: Feeding
Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist
content: recovery, vampire whumpee, whumper turned whumpee, whumpee turned caretaker
happy 2 year anniversary to kane & jim~! hard to believe it's been 2 whole years since i started writing...
wrote while listening to melodies of refresh by tenno gabni
-
Kane woke and looked to the door. Just like every morning the past week, it was a normal door. No silver. No lock.
He changed and washed his face, creeping upstairs with the hesitancy of someone who knew he wasn’t allowed, despite knowing full-well that he was: Jim had made that clear. He felt too quiet, his ankles free of chains.
It was early morning, early enough that the sun hadn’t risen yet–that terrifying tell-tale glow didn’t shine from behind the curtains. Jim wouldn’t be awake for hours, resting upstairs while Kane slunk around in the dark, in his own house.
Kane couldn’t fathom how much trust that must have required. He still couldn’t believe he’d earned that much.
The fact that Jim was still feeding him his own blood was a miracle in itself. He’d given a time limit of one month. One month for Kane to get used to freedom, to going out on his own, traversing society like a normal person after years as a prisoner. An adjustment period, Jim had called it, his mercies never-ending in the face of Kane’s fear of running to and from the border on his own.
There was no way Kane could ever repay it, not in a thousand years. But he at least had to try.
He turned the knob on the stove. It was something familiar, having owned a stove himself for heating up the contents of blood-packs in his time before he came to own Jim. Human stoves, like their food itself, were more complicated: four burners instead of one, all with dials offering various degrees besides just ‘on’ or ‘off’.
And it was something he hadn’t done since before.
The circle of flames flickered to life, blue and hot and threatening.
He quickly turned it back off, luckily managing to control his strength and not break the delicate knob.
Deep breaths, Jim had said, more times than Kane could count now. Look at me. You’re okay. No one’s gonna hurt you. You’re safe here, remember?
Kane took a deep breath in, playing Jim’s soothing affirmations through his head, exhaling slowly. That’s it, there you go, the memory of Jim’s voice encouraged. You’re alright. No hurting.
After a few more of those, he turned the burner on again. The flames flicked back to life, and Kane watched them silently.
-
Jim woke, shook off the nerves, and marked another day off his calendar. Seven days down, twenty-one more to go, and then no one will take his blood ever again.
He could stop it now, if he wanted to. He knew he could. Kane hung on his every word like he was some kind of divine prophet. But once he stops, Kane has to start getting blood from vampire territory, and he’d have to talk to his parents to get the money to buy it… and it was too obvious he wasn’t ready.
Jim knew that feeling, going from years of captivity and isolation to suddenly being a person again. He knew how hard it was, even with support. There was no reason for Kane to have to rush into it immediately. The guy could barely go outside at night on his own he was so afraid, and he was a vampire. No, a month’s time would do him well.
Still. He couldn’t help but count the days until it was over.
As he stepped into his slippers and headed downstairs, he stopped in his tracks, hearing someone futzing around in the kitchen.
It was going to take Jim a while to get used to that, Kane roaming freely in his house. At night, even. He knew he could ask Kane to leave once he finds his bearings, but… despite the deep-seated terror, he knew he was safer with Kane here than without. Kane brought Laken home, after all. If any vampire came for him, Kane would save him, too. At least, he hoped so.
He continued down. “Kane?”
“Good morning!” came the cheery reply. That set Jim’s nerves at ease, at least. Right. Kane was friendly, now.
“Morning. You sleep okay?” Jim asked. As he made his way through the living room toward the kitchen, he noticed a distinctly… delicious smell. That couldn’t be right.
“Better! And you?” Kane appeared in the doorway, a big, fanged grin lighting up his face. It was a sight Jim had already long gotten used to by now, one that brought him pride instead of fear.
He shrugged. “You win some, you lose some. Hey, are you, uh… cooking?”
Kane held out a hand. “I am! Please come sit?”
Now he was smiling, too. “Haha, okay.”
Jim took his hand and let Kane lead him to the kitchen table, where a plate full of blueberry pancakes sat. They looked a bit off–undercooked, a little torn up–but the fact that they were there at all was astounding.
He sat down. “How did you even do this? You don’t cook.”
“I watched you,” Kane admitted sheepishly. “In the mornings. I really wanted to make you something, and I didn’t want to waste food by just guessing and doing it wrong, so I started paying close attention, and this seemed like the easiest thing to copy… are they okay?”
“Well, let’s see!” Jim cut into one– definitely undercooked. It oozed out around his knife, but Liz’s failed attempts at cooking had given him ample practice in this field. He popped it in his mouth without a care. “It’s great, Kane. Especially for your first time ever cooking anything. Thank you.”
Kane brightened up even further at the praise, sitting in the chair adjacent. “I know it’s not the same at all, but I wanted to feed you too, somehow. Like you feed me. I was wondering… if you could teach me to cook?”
“You don’t have to–”
“I want to,” Kane insisted. “I really, really do. But I don’t want to impose! I can always ask Laken.”
Jim cut away the less-done bits of the pancake he was working on, scooping up another bite. “Alright, if you’re really sure. Yeah, I can teach you. Doesn’t human food smell, like, really bad to vampires, though? Like it’s rotten or whatever?”
“I’ll manage.” Kane bore no obvious worry of the issue. Clearly, a bad smell was not something that registered to him as a concern any longer. “Thank you.”
It wasn’t until Jim had finished his breakfast and was about to get up that Kane spoke again, the smile fading from his face. “There was something else, actually.”
“Oh?” Jim put his plate and utensils back down.
Kane got down from his seat to kneel on the floor.
“Kane, buddy,” Jim said softly, sliding into that placating tone he always used when trying to calm the vampire down from one of his panics, “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. It’s– it’s to show respect. Please.” As Kane looked up at him with those intense red eyes, Jim could see no fear at all.
“Well, okay then, I guess. What’s up?” he asked.
“I want to thank you. For everything,” Kane spoke carefully, as though each word was precious. Rehearsed. “For taking me away from the hunters. For not hurting me, even though you could have, even though you had every reason to. For helping me calm down when I panic. For feeding me, your own blood, even though it’s so hard for you, just so I wouldn’t starve. For giving me clothes and bedding and music and happiness again. You gave me my life back, but I owe you so much more than just my life. Because without you, I wasn’t dead, I was– I was there. And you saved me.”
Tears welled up in Kane’s eyes as he stared up reverent, overcome with emotion. “And I was thinking about all the times I’ve apologized to you, I was too afraid to do it right. I was just– I really was sorry, I’ve been sorry for a long, long time, but in those moments, I’ve always just been focused on not being hurt… but you would never hurt me. I see that now. Jim, I am so, truly sorry for hurting you. For every single time I hurt you, big and small, for those five years and since, I am so, so sorry. I was unimaginably cruel to you, and no one deserves that, but especially not you. I know that back then I told you the opposite, but I was wrong. You deserve to be happy! And I took that from you.”
Kane placed a hand over his heart. “And I swear to you, I will make it my life’s mission to give you back that happiness. I am loyal to you, Jim. Forever.”
He put his hand down. “That–that’s all. Thank you for listening.”
Jim sat in silence for a moment, absorbing it all. Wasn’t this why he’d originally taken Kane in? Wasn’t that the excuse he’d used– he wanted Kane fear-free enough to have an actual discussion about back then, without him devolving into a terrified, sobbing mess? He could do that, now. How long had he been waiting to hear Kane admit that he hadn’t deserved it after all? Fifteen years?
Oh, he was so unprepared for this conversation. He needed all kinds of psyching-up before they could have that talk.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Kane added quietly. “I just wanted you to know.”
“Right. Yeah,” Jim said, snapping out of it. Just because Kane was ready didn’t mean it had to be now. It could be any time, when he was ready, too. “That’s… wow. Hey, it’s okay,” he tried, far more comfortable comforting Kane than the other way around. He grabbed a tissue, handing it to him. “I mean, not the–not what you did. I mean it’s okay now. Um, thanks, is what I mean, I guess. For really apologizing.”
Kane wiped his eyes. “It’s the absolute least I could do. Everything I have is something you’ve given to me. Nothing hurts anymore.”
“Good.” His sincerity brought a smile to Jim’s face. “You know, maybe cooking isn’t the best idea if you’re afraid of burns? It’s not gonna happen every time, but even I get myself once in a while. Just thought I should warn you.”
“You give me blood,” Kane pointed out. He didn’t elaborate. He didn’t need to. “Plus, you’ll be there. Right?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there.” Jim patted him on the shoulder.
Kane smiled back up at him. “Then I’ll be okay.”
-
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nwng, nwng mwjang mwnw ang nwngkhou mabwrwi langw
nwng mwjang mwnw ang nwngkhou mabwrwi dangnw, angni mwnse
jebla gaswikwobw bungnai jayw arw kalamnai jaywl
nwngtanga fwtaigwn iswra sase aijw
arw ang, ang bekwo her gejerni unao mwndangdwng
mwnse mwndangti di nwng daoha nangnw haya, angni mwnse
jebla jwngni kamania jwbgwn obla beyw thath'yo
nwngtanga fwtaigwn iswra sase aijw
ang jebw som wrwinw garnw lubwiya, yuh
nwngha mwnse-treck mind gwiya, yuha
nwng lubwinai baidi ja, yuha
arw ang bungnw hayw di nwngtanga mitigwo ang bekwo mabwrwi lubwiyw
raobw swmwndw lakinw hanai nonga nama?
hwoasa, ang mwjang mwnw di nwngtanga giyaao
goto', angkwo undu arw fwi aroj gabni
ang nwngtangnw kwntagasinw jerwi ang mwjang mwnw, ang bekwo mabwrwi lubwiyw?
(yuh) arw ang bwifwr gasibw jinispwr janw hagwo jaikwo nwngtanga angnw dajanw bungdwngmwn
(yuh) jebla nwng angni takai fwinw najayw, ang jwogabai tayw
(yuh) arw biyw buhumkwo nuyw jebla ang company
beyw gaswibw angni singaonw dong
nwng, nwng mwjang mwnw ang nwngkhou mabwrwi langw
nwng mwjang mwnw ang nwngkhou mabwrwi dangnw, angni mwnse
jebla gaswikwobw bungnai jayw arw kalamnai jaywl
nwngtanga fwtaigwn iswra sase aijw
arw ang, ang bekwo her gejerni unao mwndangdwng
mwnse mwndangti di nwng daoha nangnw haya, angni mwnse
jebla jwngni kamania jwbgwn obla beyw thath'yo
nwngtanga fwtaigwn di iswra sase aijw (yuh)
ang nwngswr boikwobw khonthaa
Ti, ti voliš kako te pokrećem
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Kada je sve rečeno i učinjeno
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A ja, osjećam to poslije ponoći
Osjećaj da se ne možeš boriti, moj
Ostaje kad završimo
Vjerovat ćeš da je Bog žena
Ne želim gubiti vrijeme, yuh
Ti nemaš jednosmjerni um, yuh
Neka bude kako hoćeš,
I mogu reći da znaš da znam kako to želim
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Dušo, spusti me i pomolimo se
Govorim ti kako ja to volim, kako to želim
I ja mogu biti sve ono što si mi rekao da ne budem
Kada pokušaš da dođeš po mene, ja nastavljam da cvetam
I on vidi svemir kada sam ja društvo
Sve je u meni
Ti, ti voliš kako te pokrećem
Sviđa ti se kako te dodirujem, moja
Kada je sve rečeno i učinjeno
Vjerovat ćeš da je Bog žena
A ja, osjećam to poslije ponoći
Osjećaj da se ne možeš boriti, moj
Ostaje kad završimo
Vjerovat ćeš da je Bog žena.
Kažem vam sve
नों, नों मोजां मोनो आं नोंखौ माबोरै लाङो
नों मोजां मोनो आं नोंखौ माबोरै दांनो, आंनि मोनसे
जेब्ला गासैखौबो बुंनाय जायो आरो खालामनाय जायो।
नोंथाङा फोथायगोन इसोरआ सासे आइजो।
आरो आं, आं बेखौ हर गेजेरनि उनाव मोन्दांदों।
मोनसे मोन्दांथि दि नों दावहा नांनो हाया, आंनि मोनसे
जेब्ला जोंनि खामानिया जोबगोन अब्ला बेयो थाथ'यो।
नोंथाङा फोथायगोन इसोरआ सासे आइजो।
आं जेबो सम ओरैनो गारनो लुबैया, युह
नोंहा मोनसे-ट्रेक माइन्ड गैया, युह।
नों लुबैनाय बायदि जा, युह।
आरो आं बुंनो हायो दि नोंथाङा मिथिगौ आं बेखौ माबोरै लुबैयो
रावबो सोमोन्दो लाखिनो हानाय नङा नामा?
हौवासा, आं मोजां मोनो दि नोंथाङा गिया।
गथ', आंखौ उन्दु आरो फै आरज गाबनि।
आं नोंथांनो खोन्थागासिनो जेरै आं मोजां मोनो, आं बेखौ माबोरै लुबैयो?
(युह) आरो आं बैफोर गासिबो जिनिसफोर जानो हागौ जायखौ नोंथाङा आंनो दाजानो बुंदोंमोन।
(युह) जेब्ला नों आंनि थाखाय फैनो नाजायो, आं जौगाबाय थायो।
(युह) आरो बियो बुहुमखौ नुयो जेब्ला आं कम्पानि।
बेयो गासैबो आंनि सिङावनो दं।
नों, नों मोजां मोनो आं नोंखौ माबोरै लाङो
नों मोजां मोनो आं नोंखौ माबोरै दांनो, आंनि मोनसे
जेब्ला गासैखौबो बुंनाय जायो आरो खालामनाय जायो।
नोंथाङा फोथायगोन इसोरआ सासे आइजो।
आरो आं, आं बेखौ हर गेजेरनि उनाव मोन्दांदों।
मोनसे मोन्दांथि दि नों दावहा नांनो हाया, आंनि मोनसे
जेब्ला जोंनि खामानिया जोबगोन अब्ला बेयो थाथ'यो।
नोंथाङा फोथायगोन दि इसोरआ सासे आइजो (युह)
आं नोंसोर बयखौबो खोन्था।
तू, तहरा प्यार बा कइसे हम तहरा के हिलावत बानी ।
तहरा प्यार बा कइसे हम तोहके छुअतानी, माई एक
जब सब कहल आ कइल जाला ।
तहरा विश्वास होई भगवान नारी हई ।
आ हम, आधी रात के बाद महसूस करत बानी ।
एगो एहसास कि तू लड़ नइखी सकत, माई एक
हमनी के हो गइला पर ई लटकल रहेला ।
तहरा विश्वास होई भगवान नारी हई ।
हम कवनो समय बर्बाद ना करे के चाहत बानी, युह ।
तहरा वन ट्रैक मन नइखे मिलल युह ।
कवनो तरह से मन करे के बा युह ।
आ हम बता सकत बानी कि रउवा जानत बानी हम जानत बानी कि हम कइसे चाहत बानी ।
अईसन ना अउरी केहू रिलेट नइखे कर सकत ।
लइका हमरा अच्छा लागल कि तहरा डर नइखे ।
बबुआ हमरा के लेटि के दुआ कइल जाव ।
हम तहरा के जइसन पसन्द करत बानी, कइसे चाहत बानी, बतावत बानी।
(युह) आ हम उ सब बात हो सकत बानी जवन तू हमरा से कहले रहलू कि ना होखे के ।
(यूह) जब तू हमरा खातिर आवे के कोशिश करs त हम फलत-फूलत रहनी ।
(युह) आ ऊ ब्रम्हांड देखत बा जब हम संगत होखीं ।
ई सब हमरा में बा ।
तू, तहरा प्यार बा कइसे हम तहरा के हिलावत बानी ।
तहरा प्यार बा कइसे हम तोहके छुअतानी, माई एक
जब सब कहल आ कइल जाला ।
तहरा विश्वास होई भगवान नारी हई ।
आ हम, आधी रात क��� बाद महसूस करत बानी ।
एगो एहसास कि तू लड़ नइखी सकत, माई एक
हमनी के हो गइला पर ई लटकल रहेला ।
रउवा मानब भगवान नारी हई (यूह)
हम रउवा सब के बतावत बानी ।
Zuri izugarri gustatzen zaizu nola mugitzen naizen
Izugarri gustatzen zaizu nola jotzen zaitudan, nirea
Dena esan eta eginda dagoenean
Jainkoa emakume bat dela usteko duzu
Eta nik, gauerdiaren ondoren sentitzen dut
Borroka egin ezin duzun sentimendua, nire bakarra
Amaitzen dugunean irauten du
Jainkoa emakume bat dela usteko duzu
Ez dut denbora galdu nahi, yuh
Ez duzu bururik bide bakar batetik, yuh
Hartu nahi duzun erara, yuh
Eta esan dezaket badakizula nola nahi dudan.
Ez beste inor erlaziona daitekeenik
Txikia, beldurrik ez izatea gustatzen zait
Cariño, ohera zaitez eta otoitz egin dezagun
Gustatzen zaidan moduan esaten dizut, nola maite dudan
(Yuh) eta ni izan naiteke esan zenizkidan gauza guztiak ez zela
(Yuh) nigatik etortzen saiatzen zarenean, loratzen jarraitzen dut
(Yuh) eta berak unibertsoa ikusten du ni konpainia naizenean
Dena nigan
Zuri izugarri gustatzen zaizu nola mugitzen naizen
Izugarri gustatzen zaizu nola jotzen zaitudan, nirea
Dena esan eta eginda dagoenean
Jainkoa emakume bat dela usteko duzu
Eta nik, gauerdiaren ondoren sentitzen dut
Borroka egin ezin duzun sentimendua, nire bakarra
Amaitzen dugunean irauten du
Jainkoa emakume bat dela pentsatuko duzu (yuh)
Denei esaten dizuet
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