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biorusted · 4 years ago

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Precipice (Or: I could love you)

Out of the depths of my brine pool I come baring an actual, honest to God fanfic. And a smut one at that. 2020 is full of surprises.

Thank you @soulswimmr keeping my soul tethered to this mortal plane and for prof reading this fic.

Fandom: Satan and Me -- Pairing: GabeMike -- Words: 5510 (and no its not 10 pages of intercourse there are other things that happen)

If I had a AO3 account I would tag this fic as: Explicit! Panic attack tw, anxiety and depression tw, messy feelings, Hurt/Comfort, porn with plot, First times, cis gay sex, under negotiated kinks, (as in *slaps roof of fanfic* this baby can fit SO MUCH under negotiated kinks) light Bondage, light impact play, Dom/Sub tendencies, aftercare. yeehaw.

Summery: Michael accidentally confesses his love to Gabriel. Putting it lightly, it doesnt go well. But then Gabe shows up later that day and makes amends. (they boink)

Edit - 9/29 (michaelmas) Added a NSFW pic inspired by the fic (at the bottom)

Michael had no idea how he got here.

Well, no, of course he did; he was there when it happened. But to say that the day began with him nearly falling over the edge into despair to having Gabriel grinding up against him, pressing hot kisses to his neck and chest, toying with his body… well no one could have possible seen that coming. Except God, but he wasn’t really thinking of Him at this time.

Theres no way to track how This started. It could go back way before the Fall, to when Michael was first discovering that he liked Gabriel more than others. But that was normal, right? People had their favorites so why was this any different? Just because he leaned in closer whenever Gabriel spoke, or found him smiling like the sun whenever Gabe leaned up against him while they were on break, didn’t mean it was anything special. Besides, Gabriel had Anthea. Gabriel didn’t know he had Anthea at first, but Michael wasnt that blind. So he didn’t say anything to dissuade Gabriel from going after her. He didn’t encourage it either, though. Even after the Fall, he didn’t say anything, he himself just lost Lucifer so any chastising or encouragement would have been hypocritical, but eventually he’d thought that Gabriel would let go of her.

He never did though. And Michael never got rid of his feeling for Gabriel either. It grew, in fact. Slowly, like a vine coming around to choke the statues in the gardens, wholly unnoticed until there is nothing to do about it. Every laugh, ever tired roll of the eyes, every unexpected yawn would bring about a new leaf that would suffocate Michael if he wasn’t already doing everything he could to push his feelings down. He didn’t have time for whatever he felt for Gabriel. There were things to do on the surface, troops to train in Heaven and he, being the one on the pedestal, had to be perfect. And feelings were messy.

The point is, as much as he wanted to run his fingers through Gabriel’s curly red hair and kiss him on warm summer nights, he couldn’t do it. Would never do it.

And then the prophecy child came along. The end officially started, Michael got stabbed by his sister, contracted to a human, poisoned by his brother, sold off as a bartering chip to War, lost his physician, pulled some strings and brought a spirit back to earth, pulled some more strings to keep Gabriel from getting to irreversible trouble (but still had him sent to the tank for two weeks), finally saw God after years of radio silence, met his literal doppelganger, got formerly-mentioned-brother’s wings sent to him as sick gift and, quite frankly, was at the end of his rope. Everything was just happening too fast and no one seemed to care. The air was tight whenever he was with the other Archangels. It felt like he didn’t really know any of them anymore. Not even Gabriel, though his heart begged for that not to be the case.

Oh, right. Anthea had also died. So there’s that too. See? Messy.

All of that was basically to say, that when Gabriel made the snide comment that he, Michael, couldn’t possible know what it was like to truly love someone other than himself (which wasn’t even true, Michael did, in fact, hate himself immensely) Michael wasn’t planning to confirm or deny it. However, after the initial shock – Did Gabriel really think him that heartless? – and feeling everyone’s eyes on him – all the other archangels were in the room, plus some other guards – he did answer. It came out like a holy confession, a whisper accompanied by searing hot tears.

I love you. He said.

Michael couldn’t breathe in the silence that followed, which made Gabriel’s laugh, a cruel sounding thing, even harder to take. Michael choked on air and when Gabriel turned to leave, but when he made to follow, maybe to explain himself more? To apologize? Anything but be alone with his thoughts or worse, alone in a room full of people, Gabriel slapped him.

Gabriel said something to him, but he didn’t catch it. All he felt was stinging on his cheek and embarrassment crushing his chest. Michael didn’t know how long he stood there, cradling his face and trying to think, but not comprehending anything around him, but eventually his brain caught up and he realized he did not want to be in that room right then. So, he ran.

Raphael had taught him some breathing techniques to help with panic attacks, but he couldn’t remember them. He guessed he actually had to breathe for them, which he wasn’t doing. All he was doing was sitting in a ball on the floor of his room trying to crush his feeling out. How typical of him, really, to fuck everything up. Now what? He had just cut ties with the only other person he felt a true connection with and now he was well and truly going to die lonely when The End came. That was always the plan; a murder suicide with Lucifer, but he’d thought there would be some pride when he went? Someone who he was fighting for? He didn’t know. He did know it was all his fault. Everything was his fault, no matter who he assigned blame to.

When he finally stopped crying, Michael sat very still. The apathy that came after such a strong release was always welcome. He breathed. And then he got up, washed his face and then went to his personal office to get some work done. He was nothing if not a good angel. Perfect in the eyes of the public.

Numb to everything that wasn’t directly in front of him, Michael actually got a lot done. The shuffling of paper and scratching of his pen was a pleasant relief compared to the chaos of his own thoughts that he was used to. He didn’t even hear the door to his office open, didn’t feel the presence of someone else in the room until they came to where he was organizing paperwork into the proper bins and gently grabbed both of his arms.

Oh, Michael could recognize Gabriel’s hands anywhere. They were hands he trusted completely with everything from a nice manicure to executing an offender of the faith. The only problem was he didn’t know what Gabriel was going to do with those hands. So, he stood completely still at Gabriel’s mercy for the second time that day.

“Turn around.” Gabriel said, taking the rest of the files from Michael and tossing them out of reach. Michael couldn’t discern anything from his voice, really only comprehending that he was very close to his ears, so, he did what he was told.

“Look at me.” he said next, as Michael found the trinkets on his desk a better study. When he didn’t listen, Gabe let go of the shelving he was pining him to and put one hand on the side of his face. It didn’t take a lot of pressure to tilt his head so their eyes met. It frightened Michael to see how stormy Gabriel’s eyes were. Dark, alluring, and troubled were not something he’d normally say about Gabriel, but now only those words applied. There was something else too, his jaw was clenched, as if he were holding his tongue, or arguing with himself.

Michael never got the chance to ask about it, because Gabriel leaned in, parted his lips, closed his eyes and kissed him. The fog of apathy flushed out of him immediately and he felt everything; the warmth of Gabe’s hands on his cheek, the way his other hand lifted from the table and came to rest on his waist, the smooth silk of his own clothes against his body, heat coming from everywhere and, oh lord, his lips. The clouds couldn’t compare to the softness of Gabe’s lips on his, he could spend an eternity in this moment and it would never be enough.

The kiss (they’re first kiss), of course, did not last an eternity. It was only when Gabe moved away from him that Michael realized he didn’t close his eyes, or move towards him or do… anything. Kisses always looked magnetic, so why didn’t it fix everything between them? Michael felt a knot forming in his stomach and it only grew heavier as Gabe opened his eyes to gauge his reaction.

They were still standing so close that their breaths were shared. So, Michael only had to whisper when he said;

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you want to?” Gabe quipped back, tilting his head to the side. He was being completely serious.

“Wh-What?” He really wished his eyes were the bright emerald green they were usually.

Gabe’s grip on Michael’s waist tightened and the storm behind his eyes grew. “Do you want to understand?”

Of course he did. His cheek still burned from where Gabe hit him and the shaking anxiety from his panic attack never left completely, if he understood then maybe they really could make this work. Whatever this could be. Or he could fuck it up.

“No.” He said, and closed the gap between them.

Almost immediately he was shoved back into the shelving with Gabe’s hands clawing at his skin and teeth biting his lips. Heat rushed through his entire body as Gabe pressed up against him, ground up against him leaving his full intent out into the open.

God, since when could he move like that? Michael thought as he opened his mouth and let Gabriel’s tongue meet his own. Gabe’s piercing clicked on his teeth, setting off another wave of heat down his spine. He’d always wondered what it would be like to feel Gabe’s piercing in his mouth. One of his own hands slipped behind Gabe’s chiton and laid flat against his chest while the other raked through his hair. He almost wished Gabriel hadn’t cut his hair short, he would have love to pull on the curls, but the deep moan that came out of him made up for it.

Gabriel’s tongue was on his lips, and then his lips were on his jaw, kissing a line up and then down his neck, Michael could barely catch his breath, the way he gasped at every press of his mouth on sensitive skin. Even when Gabe slowed down to focus on a spot at the base of his neck, Michael didn’t complain, especially as Gabe’s leg pressed in between his own. Michael didn’t realize how hot his body felt, certainly didn’t realize how hard he was, how hard both of them were, but it was all he could think about as Gabe’s hands slid lower and started groping his ass, gathering the fabric of his skirt between his fingers.

Humans always made this stuff look strange, Michael didn’t get all the moaning and begging and crying out. The ‘losing control’ part never made sense to him either, but there was nothing controlled about the sounds he made now; broken whispers begging to be understood as wanting more. He wanted more of this, whatever this ended up being and he wanted Gabriel there to guide him through it all.

Naturally, that’s when Gabriel pulled away. Michael didn’t think he could fall for him anymore, but the vines he always compared his love to bloomed in such a vivid way. The messed up hair, the dilated pupils, the reddened lips, the way he dragged his eyes down every inch of him; it could have destroyed him and made him whole all at once.

“Tonight.” Gabe said. “I’ll meet you in your room.” It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t a statement either.

“Yes.” He nodded, but when he felt Gabriel leaning away from him, asked “But why?”

He straightened himself up, making eye contact as he grazed his crotch and nodded towards his desk. “You still have work to do.”

The afternoon passed as quickly as he’d expected it to, which is not very quick at all. After getting himself fixed up, Michael found he could not possibly focus on anything other than events prior. It didn’t matter what he put in front of himself, all he could think about was how this whole thing wasn’t good. It’s exactly want he wanted in his deepest and most sinful dreams; a physical relationship with his millennia-long love—but he’d only let himself pin for a romantic one, chaste save for a few kisses. They both were angels after all. This… This wasn’t even love, he thought. Especially not in the way silence grew serious between them when they parted. Lovers didn’t do that… they talked at the very least.

No. This was lust. And he found that he was ok with it… he wanted to be ok with it.

Eventually he got up and left his office. The empty hallways of his home echoing his footsteps, he tried not to think about it. He paced around his room a bit, wishing Gabriel had been more exact about ‘tonight.’ Did he mean at sunset? Or closer to midnight? Were they just… going to get straight to it? Or… what? Was Michael expecting to be taken out on a date? Please. Gabe was probably just going to get off and then leave. He would be lucky if it was a mutual thing.

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking. How would it happen? Was he expected to do anything? How did Gabriel know how to move his body like that? Eventually, just about when he thought he’d lose it, Michael caved and looked up what to expect.

The internet was, as usual, very helpful, but by the end of his searching his mind was even more frayed than before. He decided to take a shower. A long one just to calm himself down and … maybe to… test some of the things he read.

By the time Gabriel arrived, Michael had taken a long shower, dried and dressed himself and even put on what he hoped was subtle perfume and straightened up his room. Everything was, hopefully, perfect. He was halfway through setting up two glasses of wine --because he did keep wine in his room now-- when the knock came.

“Come in,” He said casually, almost forgetting the situation they were in.

He heard the door open and close, but there came no greeting, so when Michael turned around to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, he was surprised to find Gabriel outright staring at him. He looked the same as he did before, except now he carried a bag with him. Michael, however, did dress up. Or down. It depends on how you look at it. He still wore his chiton, but in a more traditional way that showed off more of his chest and thighs. He also wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

He swallowed and turned back to the wine, wishing his body didn’t blush so much under Gabriel’s intense stare. But he faced it again, this time with a bottle of wine in his hands.

“I thought that we could have a drink?” His voice faltered and he stood rather awkwardly and small.

That seemed to break Gabe out of his trance. He dropped off his bag on the bed and approached him with an even gaze. Stopping right in front of him, he took the bottle from his hands and set it down.

“No… No more wine.” He said in that deep tone that put butterflies in his stomach. Upon seeing his reaction, Gabe added, “I’d rather have you right now.”

And to that Michael could only say one thing.

“Please.”

And now here they were, Gabriel leaving bite marks and hickeys on his neck while he pushed up against him so that every nerve was on fire, begging for more. Michael twisted and strained on the ropes tying his wrists to the bedposts, trying to catch his breath. But whenever he did manage a moment clarity, Gabriel would do something else to make him jump and moan beneath him. He was playing with his nipples now and dragging his fingernails down his sides. He still hadn’t taken off his clothes yet, but by now they might as well be ruined, soaked through with each other’s sweat and precum. Michael moaned again as Gabe slapped his thighs, by now he wasn’t afraid of being loud, he wanted Gabe to know exactly what he felt.

“Please.” He begged again, not expecting an answer but praying for one anyway. His legs shook underneath Gabe’s firm hands as he kept them pressed to the bed, no matter how many times he coaxed Gabe forward, to rub their cocks together, for any friction at all, he still denied him.

“Please, what?” he said into his ear, “Aren’t I giving you everything you want?” The honey in his voice made Michael shiver.

“Yes, God yes! But please… fuck- please touch me. I need you.” He captured his lips again for a messy kiss.

Gabe pulled away. “Greedy, much?” He kissed a line down his body, then above his navel, “You really are a whore.”

Michael gasped as the sash at his hips was untied and thrown aside. His whole body throbbed with need at the silent promise. “Only for you.”

Gabe lifted the remaining fabric and breathed in the wet spot where his precum soaked through. “Is that so? All of this is for me?” He gently pulled the fabric away from his body, finally leaving Michael bare and spread wide for him. His dick fully erect, leaking and red, begging for release by any means.

Michael shifted under his gaze, looking down on him like he owned him. He only hoped he looked as beautifully desperate as Gabriel did. “Of course.”

Gabe nodded and took off the rest of his own clothes. His hands traveled up and down his glistening tan body, fulfilling a desire that Michael wished he could do instead. How many times had Michael wanted to run his fingers up and down the curves of Gabriel’s toned body? He couldn’t remember at that moment. If he didn’t like his wrists being tied up so much, he might have asked to be untied.

When he got to his dick though, he only traced light lines with his fingertips, moaning and biting his lips in pure ecstasy. It was a sight to behold, the lines of precum hanging on his fingers, the trail of ginger hair cropping his dick. ��Heavenly’ could hardly cover it.

Michael let out a groan and Gabe stopped, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“My eyes are up here.”

“Fuck me already.”

That earned him another slap on the inside of his thighs, he bucked and noted the way his cock bounced in the air. Did everything have to be so erotic? Gabriel reached back to the bag he brought, the one that also had the rope, and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom. Now that they were on track, Gabe wasted no time in slicking his fingers up, propping up Michael’s legs and sliding said fingers up and down his ass, even grabbing his balls for good measure. Michael thought about biting into his own arm to stop from crying out too loud, but instead just lifted his legs higher. The house was empty anyway.

Gabe let out a satisfying hum and pressed a finger inside him. It felt as strange as it did when he practiced in the shower, but god was it so much better.

“Take deep breaths. I’m just stretching you out now.” He said, smiling to himself and kissing Michael’s calf. “It would be a shame if you finished now.”

“It wouldn’t be my fault. I didn’t know how much you liked teasing.” Or slapping or bondage or powerplay or literally anything. Then again, he himself didn’t realize how much he’d like those things too, much less being on the receiving end. He took a deep breath. And another. Then, the question that was haunting him slipped from his mouth. “How do you know how to do this?” he blurted out.

“Hm?” Gabriel looked away from him, suddenly abashed, as if he wasn’t massaging his asshole for his pleasure and use. “I uh. I watched some videos.”

And to that Michael laughed, more genuine than he had in a while.

“What?” Gabe took the opportunity to insert another finger, stopping his laughter with pain and pleasure. How cruel!

“Nothing! I just…” He turned his head to hide his face in is arms. “I watched some videos too.”

“Really?” The quality in his voice changed. It had been changing from when they made out in his office to now… it felt like they were talking normally with each other, like friends… or, well, like lovers. It helped that he was smiling now, not quite a joyful or mischievous smile, but a quaint one. As if they both were taking each other in with a new light.

“Yeah… I practiced some too.” He could share that, right?

“Oh… did you…?”

“No. I was… saving that for you.”

“Oh.” Was all he said, hiding his quiet delight behind adding in another finger inside of him.

They stayed like that for a while, Gabe stretching him out gently while Michael sighed and kept his breathing relaxed. Gabe never pushed his fingers in deep, even though Michael thrusted his thighs up, trying to convince Gabe to finger fuck him a little. After a few minutes, Michael was craving for something thicker and longer. Even so, he was not ready for how cold, empty and gapping he’d feel when Gabe’s fingers left him.

“Ready?” Gabe asked as he slid the condom on and poured more lube onto his hand. He bit his swollen lips and he slicked up his shaft; he wasn’t the only one that was denied.

“More than.” He angled himself up more and welcomed Gabe’s steady hand bracing on his red thighs. There was a moment of blissful silence as Gabe lined himself up, only broken by the feeling on his head pressing up against his hole and pushing in. They both moaned.

Gabe was gentle going in, pushing forward and pulling back bit by bit. His whole body jerked as he guessed his prostate was hit, he read that it felt like sparks shooting across the body and by God was that right. He rocked his hips up even harder now. Michael had never felt so full, never felt the need to be, but when Gabe bottomed out and rutted against his hips, he felt as if he’d need this the rest of his life. Is this what it felt like to be truly connected? To be full and content with your lover? It felt cheesy to even think, but he imagined soulmates felt like this.

Michael moaned even louder as Gabe pulled halfway out and slid down faster. Again and again he felt sparks as his lover’s wet hips slammed into his own. The noises they made were obscene and only made worse when Gabe leaned over him to get a better angle. Now he could feel Gabe’s hot breath on his face and see just how gone he was, which made the heat pooling in his own stomach twist and flood his senses. This was started to be too much.

“Touch me!” He begged, straining on his wrists again. “Oh, please I want to come. Please let me come.” He had to have this, he’d waited so long; Michael needed this.

“Oh fuck.” Gabe moaned and leaned down to bite at his neck once more. “Beg for me. I’m so close.”

“Please, Gabriel, I wanna… I wanna feel you come inside me, I want your hands pumping my dick until I scream. I want you. I need you Please. Please. Please!”

Michael’s breathy cries grew more erratic along with Gabriel’s pace. The wet slapping of skin filled the room until Gabe cried out and shook with his orgasm. Michael pushed up against him, writhing around his partner’s twitching cock, until Gabe collapsed onto him and gasping for breath, oversensitive and spent.

“Fuck.” He gasped as he lifted himself up and crashed his mouth on Michael’s. His lips screamed desperation. His hands trembled as he grabbed Michael’s cock and pumped at a horrifically fast pace. Michael gasped against his mouth and bucked, arching his back as much as he could. When his orgasm hit, he froze, coming quickly in Gabe’s hand before opening his eyes again and melting into the bed. Only then did Gabe slide out of him and collapse. He couldn’t breathe for a moment, and then the only thing he could do was breathe. His mind and body spent.

They laid together for a few minutes, Gabe resting on top of him, both of them basking in the afterglow. Michael felt sticky and sore and empty but didn’t feel like moving, and honestly, if they laid like that for the rest of the night, he would be completely fine with that.

As if reading his thoughts, Gabriel kissed his jaw and lifted himself up. How he went from blitzed out to composed Michael couldn’t guess, but he noted the way Gabe still trembled. “We should… clean up.” He emphasized this by taking his hand—still covered in Michael’s cum – and dragged his tongue up his index finger. He made a face and shrugged, “It doesn’t taste that good.”

Michael huffed. “I’m sorry I’m not made of sugar.”

“Hm. But those noises you made were so sweet.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Untie me, please.” He didn’t thing he could play anymore games.

“Just a second.” He peeled off the condom and made to get off the bed.

“Where are you going?” A bolt of dread shot up his spine; he wasn’t leaving, was he? Not tied up to the bed and out in the open?

“Bathroom, Michael. Getting a towel and washing my hands. Also, you’re sticky.”

“And whose fault is that?” he tried shove his anxiety back into its box.

He didn’t get a reply, just a hum and a good view of Gabe’s back side as he walked to the room adjacent and cleaned himself up. He wasn’t even out of sight, keeping the bathroom door wide open, but Michael still felt tendrils of doubt writhe in his chest.

He put on a smile as he walked back holding two warm towelette—because yes, Michael had towelettes on hand. They’re nice to have— He was still surprised when Gabriel cleaned him instead of just untying his wrists and letting him handle his own ‘sticky’ body. Somehow this seemed more intimate than what they just finished doing, especially how gentle Gabe lifted his legs to get a better angle. The warm towel felt wonderful on his abused butt and dick, more so than he thought it would. After getting his lower half he used the other towelette to press on his neck, which had much the same effect. Michael didn’t think that a warm towelette would make the deep bite marks and bruises heal right away, but it was like a gentle kiss. He didn’t think Gabe would be so kind to him.

“Whats wrong, Michael?” Gabe’s calm voice cut through the silence. He didn’t meet his eyes as he asked.

What should he say to that? Everything was wrong, they just—they just had sex! They didn’t even talk about it before hand they just… did it! And this morning he was pretty sure Gabe hated him and Michael… he didn’t know what he wanted to do with anything. No one could find out, he was sure of that… but did that mean he had to forget this whole night happened? All in all his life was falling apart! He didn’t want to push his last lifeline away.

“I’m fine.” He smiled. He tried not to panic as the mood shifted over Gabriel. He could see the clouds over his eyes again. Shit shit shit of course he’d ruin it. “I-“ He started, frantically thinking about what would make this right. “I just want you to stay.” Pathetic.

That seemed to work, though it hurt to say, but he didn’t get an answer right away. Instead, Gabe moved up to his arms and finally undid the rope. Michael hissed as he moved his freed wrists again.

“Oh, I brought something for that.” Gabe said, reaching for his bag once again. He produced a bottle of lotion and applied some to his hands before taking one of Michael’s and massaging it. It felt good, though much like the towel still at his neck, he didn’t think it would do much. They fell into a lull again. Michael felt as if he could fall sleep, if not for the unanswered question weighing on his mind.

“What do you want to do with the cover?”

“Hm?”

“The duvet is… wet.”

“Oh… just throw it to the ground, I’ll clean it tomorrow.” Or he’ll just burn it, whatever.

“Ok.” Gabe let go of his hands and began to pull back the blanket beneath them. Ideally, they should have taken it off beforehand, but they weren’t really thinking logically then, just about how to make each other shake with pleasure. Michael sat up and helped kick the thick blanket to the ground. His ass hurt and his whole body was sore, scratched up and bruised, but at least he was clean-ish. He had honestly never felt so… exhausted before. Satisfied but still so wanting. Maybe he was a selfish whore. He pulled back more blankets from the front of the bed and crawled underneath him, not caring to put on clothes or turn off the dim lights still illuminating his room.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the heaviness he felt all around him versus the sounds of Gabriel sliding off the bed and walking away. It didn’t really work, he still felt hot tears behind his eyes and tried biting the inside of his lip to keep from making noise. If Gabriel wanted to leave, then who was he to stop him? He knew this wasn’t good. He should be happy that he got to have sex with him at all. A check off the bucket list and all that.

But he didn’t leave. Michaels eyes snaped open as he felt a thumb wipe away his tears. Gabe was hovering above him, looking somewhere between tired and concerned; he’d just turn off the lights. Michael wanted to laugh because of how ridiculous he was being. Or cry.

But he didn’t. He shifted over and let Gabriel slide under the covers with him. It was awkward, they were both naked and wasn’t sure how get comfortable like this, but they soon settled down where Michael was laying on Gabe’s chest and they were tracing shapes on each other’s arms.

He was about to drift off when Gabe muttered, half to himself, “I could love you.”

That didn’t feel as bad as it could to Michael. “That’s all I need.” His words slurred together before he dropped into darkness. He’ll deal with everything else tomorrow.

Gabriel didn’t know why he did this anymore than Michael probably did. All Gabe wanted was a release, something he thought he could only have with Anthea. A stress reliever, maybe. A good fuck before the world went to shit. He tried to ignore the darker thoughts he had that day, where he pushed Michael over the edge and left him to shatter on the ground. Or the ones where he’d hurt Michael outright to finally get across all of the hurt he’d experienced at his now-lover’s hands. But there was something—a spark? – when they kissed, and a shift when they actually talked to each other. No masks, no pretenses. Just feelings; whatever they happened to be.

And Gabe remembered how Michael used to be. Fun, genuine, loving. He remembered the quiet nights where they watched the sky and how Michael would, very obviously, check him out. The way he always seemed to prefer either him or Lucifer. This whole thing was ridiculous; of course Michael loved him, it was so obvious. So why did Gabe react like that this morning? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about it anymore than he already had.

Gabe wasn’t lying when he said he could love him, but he wouldn’t lie and say that he loved him now. His heart was recently broken and, the tattoo of Anthea’s name was barely over a month old. Before today, he believed it too soon for anything new. Obviously, another part of him disagreed, but he would save those thoughts for another time. Gabriel kissed Michael’s head and fell asleep with him in his arms. He’ll have to see what the next day brought.

____

a doodle:

#satan and me #naughtysam #gabemike #my writing #dam im proud of this #i actually wrote a boink #huh #miracles do happen

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soulswimmr · 7 years ago

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High Hopes

Ch. 3

Pairing: Holy Duality (GabeMike)

Word Count: 4327

Date Numero Uno

“Good morning, Michael,” the receptionist clacked loudly on her computer as Michael was greeted by the cool air conditioning in the rec center, humming a bright “hello” to the lady who could embarrassingly call him by name. He had made quite a few trips to the rec center now, and not just to drop Kristi off at school.

Gabriel should be off work in the next fifteen minutes or so, when Michael would ask him on a dinner date like a proper man and “firmly establish his thirst” as Zadkiel had so gracefully put it. But first, he thought, peeking around the corner and climbing the stairs to the upper workout area, There’s someone I haven’t seen in at least a month.

Michael always felt bad for the little kids who had to wander through rows of workout benches and strange equipment just to reach the ballet studio, but it had never been able to phase him. According to the schedule of activities that was posted for all to see at the entrance of the rec program, ballet classes didn’t start for at least a half an hour, which meant-

Michael rapped on the glass doors to the ballet studio cheerily, creaking the door open, and poking his head inside.

“Ms. McAllister~” he sang, announcing his entrance. The bright lights in the studio were on, and a young woman was crouched over the stereo system sniffling loudly. Michael’s smile froze as she turned to him, wiping her eyes quickly and sighing.

“What do you want, Michael?” Natalie’s voice was crackly and tired as he shut the door behind them, embarrassed about...whatever he had just walked in on.

“I just wanted to say hi to my favorite redheaded ballet dancer named Natalie Anabella McAllister!” he put his hands up, leaning on the wall and giving her a sympathetic pout. “What’s got you all hung up, Gingersnap?”

“It’s nothing, I don’t want to talk about it,” she crossed her arms and turned away from him. She’d look pretty ridiculous in her black leotard and tie dye tights with leg warmers if her hunched shoulders and drippy face didn’t melt Michael’s icy heart.

Michael sat on one of the steps that led to the door and patted a space beside him, “C’mon, kiddo, talk to me.”

Natalie glanced down at the spot and her indignant composure collapsed. Her lip trembled as fresh new tears breached her eyes and she half threw herself on the steps next to Michael, hugging her knees as she cried.

“Awww, Gingersnap,” Michael slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, letting her lean on his shoulder. He tapped out a quick message on his phone and deposited it back in his pocket. “Now, what’s this all about?”

Natalie made an attempt to compose herself, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue she had been holding on to. After a couple deep breaths, she pulled out her phone, bringing up messages from an unfamiliar contact. The contact picture was of some slimy looking kid that looked about as trustworthy as a hungry vulture.

“It’s my boyfriend- well, ex-boyfriend? I don’t know, he’s sending so many mixed messages,” she whined.

“Uh oh,” Michael quipped. “So, tell me about this ex-boyfriend of yours.”

Gabriel put his planner in his black bag, glancing at his phone, shining bright in the dark classroom with a new message. He unlocked it and smiled when he saw that it was from Michael.

[4:27] Michael Alegal: Whenever you’re done, meet me in the ballet studio upstairs! We have a boy emergency!

Gabriel smiled at the slew of emojis that followed, ranging from sad faces to knives to hugs. It hadn’t taken him very long to realize that Michael was one of those people who wouldn’t feel complete texting words alone. From the implications of it, it seemed as though he was going to see Natalie upstairs, who Gabriel knew very well to have “boy emergencies.”

He closed his phone, and, after locking up the classroom and waving goodbye to Chelle, made his way upstairs to the dance studio. Michael had texted him early, announcing that he would be stopping in the rec center after Gabriel was done working, but had never specified why. Gabriel couldn’t quite shake the jittery feeling in his gut, or the spring in his step that even Chelle had noticed after he received the text. Perhaps it was worth admitting that Gabriel was excited to see Michael after texting him back and forth day in and out. Despite his strangely vain nature and wildly disproportionate emotions, Michael was a gem to be around, occasionally stopping through the rec center to go to gym and waving hello to Gabriel. It was that and the time that he came in with a cake just to apologize that had caused Gabriel to blush (feeling like a dumb 13 year old again) when his mother asked when he was going to take the man on an “actual, proper date.”

The studio lights illuminated the corridor outside through the glass door, and Gabriel took that as his invitation to walk inside, slowly opening the door and searching for Natalie and Michael inside.

He found them right at his feet, surrounded by crumpled tissues and hunched around Natalie’s bright coral phone. The sound of him entering captured Michael’s attention as he craned his head backwards and smiled wide.

“Gabe!” he greeted cheerily, a stark contrast to Natalie’s puffy eyes and frown. “Come, join us, we were just cleaning up dear Natalie’s contacts.”

“What’s going on, Ms. McAllister?” Gabriel inquired, sitting on the other side of her. Gabriel had taken a secret pride in being The Shoulder to Cry On to the rec center staff. He had seen everything- breakups, pet deaths, or just someone spilling their lunch everywhere and bursting into tears because their day was already a mess. He did his job sparingly, but there was nothing better than a shaky smile as someone would say “thanks for listening, Mr. Fields.”

“Natalie’s former honey keeps asking her to take him back even though he was the one who broke it off in the first place,” Michael explained as Natalie continually stared at her phone, more focused than melancholy at that point.

“He’s a jerk,” she sniffed, dragging her eyes from the phone to Gabriel. “And I know, he doesn’t deserve me, but I can’t just-”

“Delete it,” Michael insisted, reaching for her phone, and Natalie jerked it out of his reach.

“Delete what?” Gabe asked.

“His contact. She needs to cut him out completely,” Michael crossed his arms pridefully. “Nothing says “It’s over for good” like “Who is this?? You aren’t in my contacts.””

“Gabriel, help me out here!” Natalie groaned.

“I hate to gang up on you, Ms. McAllister, but Michael might be right. You sure you don’t like him anymore?”

“I- I think so.”

“And leading you on isn’t very kind of him, yes?”

“Yeah…”

“Then I think deleting his contact information might be a good decision,” Gabe said, trying to sway his voice as gentle as he could. Natalie looked at her phone with a new confidence.

“He doesn’t deserve you!” Michael squeezed her shoulder. “If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone!”

“I’m gone,” Natalie nodded firmly.

“Good! Now go chop his di-”

“Michael,” Gabriel cut in. Michael gave him a sheepish smile over Natalie’s shoulder.

“Want me to do it for you, Nat Cat?” he asked. Nat thought for a moment and nodded, handing him the phone. Michael poked at the buttons for more than a few moments, looking up when he saw Gabriel and Natalie staring at him.

“Ah, sorry, I’m still trying to find the delete button...Aaaand done!” he exclaimed, handing the phone back to Natalie. She cracked a smile.

“I’m...glad. I feel like I just got a weight off my chest,” she admitted.

“Atta girl!” Michael encouraged, shaking her playfully. Natalie laughed and wiped away a few tears.

“We’re very proud of you, Natalie. You make sure you find someone who treats you well,” Gabriel commented. She just nodded appreciatively.

“Oh gosh, I’ve got a little more than ten before the girls start showing up,” Natalie stood, looking at her watch. “Thank you two again for the unplanned therapy session.”

“No problem, Gingersnap. Kristi will see you on Tuesday- either I’ll take her or my delightful brother will. Either way, see you around!” Michael waved at her, opening the door up for Gabriel to walk through, who nodded his head at her with a soft smile.

“Well, I must say, I’m impressed. She’s been having this internal battle over that guy for weeks, now,” Gabriel stuck his hands in pockets as they walked back down the stairs. “And you just solved her problem in what? 15 minutes?”

“What can I say? I’m a people person,” Michael’s eyes swung to the ceiling.

“You took a long time to delete one contact.”

Michael’s easy smile turned forced when he held the front door open for Gabriel.

“Michael…”

“I may have made an addition to her phone contacts in replacement of her awful ex-boyfriend,” he hummed as they strolled to one of the park benches.

“Who’s phone number?” Gabe rubbed his temples with new stress. Michael sat and tapped his knees.

“Well, you see. My brother Stanley sometimes drops Kristi off at dance for me.” “Oh my God.”

“As bewildered as I am by Natalie’s liking to my aloof and antisocial brother over me, the chemistry between them is undeniable as it is disgusting. I may have put in a couple of heart emojis after his name as well.”

“Michael, the poor girl’s messy breakup is no time to play matchmaker.”

“Just you wait, they’ll be all over each other in no time,” Michael hummed dismissively. They sat watching families walk out of the rec center, some of the kids still in their swimsuits from the pool in a moment of tranquil silence, before both men opened their mouths.

“Gabe, I was wondering-”

“I’ve been meaning to ask-”

They froze, looking at each other with wide eyes, and then laughed. Michael put up his hands in surrender.

“You first, you first,” he said, and he swore Gabe’s cheeks turned a little red.

“Well,” the teacher said, folding his hands. “I’ve been meaning to ask you if you’d like to get dinner sometime this week.”

Michael’s mouth opened and a small squeak came out. Well, he wasn’t expecting that. Gabriel’s face went from sheepish to mortified in a minute, putting up all his defenses.

“I mean! It’s okay if you don’t, I certainly don’t want to be too forward if you don’t...i-if you-” he sputtered, and Michael snatched one of his hands.

“Gabriel,” he laughed a little too loudly. “Gabe. I’d love to get dinner. I was just surprised, ‘cause I was about to ask you the same thing.”

Gabe looked confused for a moment, until a moment of clarity seemed to cross his mind his shoulders relaxed, and he giggled.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah! And you ruined all my fun, thanks a lot,” Michael teased him, sniffing indignantly. In his mind, a crowd roared and champagne bottles were opened in celebration. Gabriel wanted to ask him to dinner.

“My sincerest apologies, then. Have you ever been to Richter’s out by the country club?” Gabe asked, waving to a young boy in one of his classes, walking into the rec center.

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s mediterranean food, if you like that. I haven’t actually… been there, but Google tells me it’s good!”

“Whatever you like is fine by me,” Michael smiled. The worry on Gabe’s face evaporated and he grinned.

“That’s great! I mean, that’s- that’s really great. It’s a date, then?” he beamed at Michael. It was contagious. He smiled back.

“It’s a date.”

“It’s a date! Not a visit to Guy Fieri’s house!” Michael whined, digging through his closet. Zadkiel pouted behind him, holding up a tacky Hawaiian shirt Michael had worn once, just once to a costume party.

“What? You wanted my help, didn’t you?” Zad rolled their eyes, shoving the shirt back on the rack.

“I like green, green’s an alright color, right?” Michael held up a forest green polo, trying to make himself believe that the color was remotely acceptable with his skin tone. Zadkiel took one look at it and raised an eyebrow. Michael put it back. “Fine! How nice is Richter’s, anyways?”

“Hmm. Google says “casual neat.””

“That’s specific.”

“Think like, you’re visiting Grandma’s house but her neighbor is cute,” Zadkiel said thoughtfully.

“That’s even more specific!” he cried, but dug through his closet nonetheless. After some digging, he pulled out a few shirts, piecing them together until his brain liked what it saw. “I think I’m onto something here,” he grinned. Shoving Zadkiel out of his room, he threw on the outfit and tossed open the door dramatically. Zad stood against the wall and blinked, mildly impressed.

“That’s the one,” they said, and Michael agreed. Admiring the ensemble in the mirror, Michael felt proud of himself. A simple pair of khakis, a short-sleeved, and blue button up shirt. Michael felt glowing.

“Blue’s my color,” he decided. “What time is it, Zad?”

“5:47.” “Time to roll out.”

“I’m surprised you might actually be on time,” they shrugged as Michael squeezed past them and kneeled down, pulling on his boots.

“Implying that punctuality is an issue with me?” Michael inquired, yanking his laces tight. Zadkiel scoffed, leaning against the wall.

“I can think of a number of dates where you got there an hour later than planned.”

“It was a mistake! I had misread! I-” Michael dug out his phone and very quickly read the text from Gabriel, just to be sure. He put it away and jabbed an accusatory finger at Zad. “Do not distract me. I have a date to catch.”

“Have fun, Romeo,” they waved as Michael threw on his jacket and rushed for the door.

“Don’t leave my door unlocked!” he called over his shoulder as he closed the front door behind him and fast-walked through the apartment halls and down the stairs.

Michael must’ve checked his hair ten times in the mirror while he drove to Richter’s, trying to make sure it had that perfect wave that his previous girl and boyfriends always seemed to like. Yeah, he knew about Richter’s. It was a place he recalled several of his coworkers at the health center getting dinner at while Michael went home on his own or to Kristi’s house. Fine by him. Sometimes he preferred the little girl’s company to the people he worked with. It was like work followed them everywhere, the way they talked and talked about the magic of exercise and kale. There were a million more interesting topics in the world to talk about, and Michael had been through a million and one with Kristi.

Okay, less than a million, she didn’t understand taxes at all.

Michael also knew that a part of his excitement was from just going out at all on the weekends. Sure, he had Zadkiel and Stan, but they were his siblings. They had seen him naked and when he had braces and they just knew way too much. Besides, Michael frowned, he could only talk to Stan for so long before both of them ended up angry. That was the catch with patching a relationship back together. There were some scabs from Stan’s later days of high school that threatened to come back open when they got to sensitive subjects.

He shook away the thought as his car pulled into the Richter’s parking lot, silently congratulating himself, as he was three minutes early. Parking his car by the front, Michael admired the lights strung up around the front of the restaurant as he walked to the door. Gabe had chosen a good place.

Speak of the devil, the man himself was standing by the door when Michael stepped inside, and had a good moment to admire him. Gabriel’s hair was combed back, with the same lock of hair dangling in his face. He had overdressed, as Michael had come to expect, with a striped button up shirt under a grey sweater and slacks. His distracted expression focused when Michael walked in, and he broke into a smile.

“You beat me here,” Michael said before Gabriel could open his mouth. “I hate being beat.”

“I always have to be extra early, it’s something that comes in handy when you’re a teacher,” Gabriel said, mild surprise in his voice as the waitress lead them to a table by huge windows.

“I’m joking,” Michael snorted. Well, phooey. He was gonna have to break his habits of being fashionably late if they went on another date.

“Can I start y’all off with something to drink?” the waitress asked, her southern accent betraying the restaurant's mediterranean theme.

“I’ll have a strawberry lemonade,” Michael answered.

“Coffee, please,” Gabriel smiled kindly at the waitress. When she left, Michael gave him a quizzical look.

“Coffee? At six in the evening?”

He flushed, huffing defensively, “I like coffee! I don’t give you grief for ordering strawberry lemonade.”

“If any place has it, I get it,” Michael insisted, pausing. “Wait- you’ve had it before, haven’t you?” Gabriel shook his head, and Michael balked. “That’s a sin, Gabriel.”

“Is not having strawberry lemonade a deal breaker for you, then?” Gabe joked.

“Yes!”

“Oh my goodness,” Gabriel stuck his face promptly in his hands as Michael stopped their waitress and requested a second strawberry lemonade, smiling victoriously back at Gabriel. He would convert a nonbeliever to the magic of insanely sugary drinks. This date was going well.

“Drink and believe, Gabriel,” Michael pushed the glass towards him, little yellow umbrella sticking out the edge. His date finally caved, and picking up the glass, took a sip while Michael waited with baited breath.

“It’s sickeningly sweet,” Gabe commented, his neutral expression unchanging.

“Well, no wonder! You drink too much coffee is all,” Michael concluded and Gabriel hummed speculatively. That was no problem. If Gabe stuck around, he’d be consuming a lot of sweet drinks.

“If you worked around twenty four year olds for hours, you would too,” Gabe snorted, taking another sip of his drink.

“One is quite enough for me,” Michael smiled. “Unless you count my sibling in college. They’re basically a four year old who carries a knife.”

“I can’t imagine having siblings, and especially not knife wielding ones.”

“Oh, so you’re an only child?”

“Yes, it was just my mother and I growing up,” Gabriel smiled. “I got all the toys to myself.”

“And all of the attention, too,” Michael mused.

“Yes, all of the attention,” Gabe said, a blush creeping back on his cheeks. “I’m my mother’s number one.” “She sounds like a sweet mother.” “She really is,” Gabriel’s smile turned sad. “She was there for me when I was widowed, and has been helping me raise Chamuel ever since.”

The gears in Michael’s brain clicked into place as he almost dropped his drink. Of all the possibilities he had exercised, the idea that Gabriel had been widowed-

“We all ready to order here?” the waitress’ voice sounded like jingle bells, and Michael snapped to attention, trying to form words as Gabriel ordered some kind of sandwich. Michael feebly gave her his order, distracted as she took the menus away, and cleared his throat.

“I uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

“Really, it’s okay,” Gabriel stopped him before he could start, smile sheepish. “She died about five years ago. Chamuel and I moved to be closer to my mother, and we’ve been a trio ever since.”

Michael breathed a sigh of relief as Gabriel, gracious Gabriel, recovered the conversation and went into details about his mother spoiling Chamuel “until her whole mouth is filled with cavities and she forgets her manners”.

“If only my little brother had been raised with those,” Michael smirked, and Gabriel laughed like he’d been raised beside Stan too. Michael couldn’t hold back an amused smile. The dinner was flavorful, and Richter’s was somewhere he’d certainly come back to, but Gabriel’s company made Michael never want to return the restaurant alone again. Strawberry lemonade, he had found, was much sweeter when there was someone to share it with.

“I think teaching old people yoga is a lot more entertaining than troubled teenagers, if I’m honest,” Michael explained, waving his fork around subconsciously. “Often, they fall asleep.”

“What do you do then? Do you wake them up yourself?” Gabriel pondered.

Michael shook his head, “I figured if they’re that relaxed, I’m doing something right. They typically wake themselves up after a few moments. What gets me is the positions they fall asleep in.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. We’re talking full pretzel-mode. And they’re out like a light!”

“They don’t hurt themselves, do they?”

“No,” Michael snickered. “You can count on the teenagers to get themselves hurt during yoga. Kristi is better than half of them.”

Gabriel smiled, “You teach her too then?”

Michael pulled out his phone and quickly went to his photos, finding the one with Kristi balanced in a handstand and showed it to Gabriel.

“I spend so much time at her house, I eventually run out of things to do,” Michael pushed his phone back in his pocket.

There’s one hobby that’s great for passing the time, you know,” Gabe hummed, trying to be subtle. What mattered was the poor man tried.

“I don’t own any yarn, Gabe. Or needles.”

“You can have mine.”

“You really are determined to get me to knit, aren’t you?” Michael laughed incredulously. Gabriel nodded, looking very sure of himself. There was no way Michael was getting out of that, that was for sure. He shook his head. “Alright, alright, I promise I’ll consider it.”

“Good enough for me.”

The two finished their dishes and sat for a while, chatting about the perks and downfalls of looking after kids all the time and the weather and what they did for fun in high school and how much a year’s worth of strawberry lemonade from Costco would cost. Gabriel loved the kindness in children, but the screaming drove him a bit nutty. Gabriel didn’t always live in the southwest but he loved the heat. Gabriel played trumpet in high school and was the valedictorian and thought the price for that much lemonade was far more than necessary.

Michael decided that he liked watching the sun from the window hit Gabriel’s eyes and the way his mouth twitched a smile whenever Michael told a corny joke- like he wanted to laugh but didn’t want to encourage him.

Michael paid for the bill before Gabriel could even see it (making a note to himself to check for more places with strawberry lemonade), and the pair left the restaurant with full stomachs and hearts.

Arizona in the evening was something Michael would never really get used to- except when it was smolderingly hot. Golden rays of sun ran over the mountains on the horizon and spilled down on their ever-growing suburban town. Not too bright to blind, but enough to give the illusion of an eternal summer. It was comfortably warm, perfect for Michael. He loved his little heaven, how the weather seemed to bend to his wishes and how the wind blew just enough to push people like Gabriel in his direction.

“Thank you for meeting me here. I would’ve never actually gone to a little place like this on my own,” Gabriel glanced back at the fairy lights in the window, a smile curling in his cheek as they made their way for the parking lot. “I probably would’ve kept visiting the same three restaurants I always do out of habit.”

“Well, I am more than happy to be your sense of adventure,” Michael, mindlessly swinging his arms. “Be sure to let me know if you’re ever feeling adventurous again, ‘kay?” He added a wink for good measure. Gabriel snorted.

“Sure thing, Michael. You have a good night,” he held eye contact with Michael for just a moment more before turning towards the park and walking off, Michael still waving with what was probably a big, stupid grin on his face.

He got in his car and turned the ignition, still grinning, and drove all the way back to his apartment complex before realizing that he hadn’t bothered with the air conditioning or radio, and was sweating in his nice shirt.

He fumbled with the keys and popped open the door to his apartment, making a note to himself to get into something that didn’t smell like Mediterranean and sweat, and found Zad waiting for him, on the phone.

“Yeah he just got home and- oh my god Raph he got laid. He’s covered in sweat.”

Michael’s eyes bugged out a bit. “Wh- I did not!”

“Raph is now lecturing you about sleeping with strangers and STD’s and- Raph, he can’t hear you! I’ll put you on speaker,” Zad rolled their eyes.

“No, don’t! I didn’t get laid. Raph I didn’t get laid!” Michael yelled at the phone, groaning as he made a beeline for his bedroom, ignoring Zadkiel’s cackling.

He put on a fresh T-shirt and rinsed his face at the sink with a happy sigh, when he heard his phone buzz on his bed. Perking up, Michael almost ran to the phone, chest filling with delight.

“Texting so soon, Gabriel?” he laughed to himself, before seeing the notification and pouting, almost disappointed.

[6:17] Mr. Lange: Called to a meeting tonight. Can u come over and watch her?

That was the Langes, Michael thought, tapping out a response. Always gone. He’d bring Mac n Cheese and drive over to their house in an hour.

Until then, he’d just lie with Zad and torture them with excruciatingly detailed accounts of Gabriel’s physical attributes. Michael smiled. Revenge was sweet.

#gabemike #satan and me #my fics #satan and me fanfiction #SaM archangel michael #SaM archangel gabriel #zadkiel #raphael #natalie mcallister #thisiskindagross #hello hello its been a few months oopsy #EDIT: FUCK FUCK I MEANT TO POST THIS TO MY WRITING BLOG #o whale

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