#g/t gotcha for gaza 2024

[weirdcoreboy]

I Hate You- But I'm Not A Monster

G/T Gotcha For Gaza 2024! @gtgotcha4gaza / @smallsday Prompt: Two normal-sized characters are enemies, but character A puts aside their differences to help character B when B suddenly shows up tiny / having shrunk. Despite this, B is afraid that A will hurt them in their vulnerable state. (You can use any characters for this, and if you don't like the prompt, feel free to modify or shorten it as you see fit!)

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Vincent Feldman, aged 22, thought that the hardest thing in his life would be high school. But noooo, bullies are in college too, apparently. Between homework, parties, and his bully, Damien Blackwood, he wasn't sure how he was staying afloat.

But what happens when a mysterious package shows up at his door?

I Hate You- But I'm Not A Monster - weirdcoreboy - No Fandom [Archive of Our Own]

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Vincent stared at the blank screen in front of him, the empty Gaggle page seemingly taunting him for not being able to write a single line of this stupidly hard project he had to write for his college. He pouted before glancing at the clock and gasping in horror as he realized what time it was. 11:45 PM. Well… crap.

He gritted his teeth and reopened the laptop, typing furiously. He had forgotten that the assignment Professor Tayman had assigned him- the one he was writing- was due the next day. Er…well, to be more precise, in fifteen minutes. He swallowed nervously. This would most definitely be an…interesting presentation tomorrow. He could almost see it- him wobbling to the front of the room, most likely sleep-deprived- and then mumbling out his essay to the other twenty students in the class. He stifled a snicker just thinking about it, before he stopped and sighed, thinking back to what happened the previous week. First, there was Damien. Damien was your typical emo that looked like he hadn’t been out in the sun for at least his whole life, and by that I mean the sort of person who would probably get a sunburn from a flashlight. Hell, Vincent wouldn't have bee surprised if the guy hadn’t seen any form of light since he was in the hospital after getting born. He had (definitely dyed) black hair that covered his right eye and was down to his shoulders in what was either a messily done wolf cut or a mullet done by a blind person on steroids. If that wasn’t bad enough, he constantly had the annoying seventh-grade ‘I’m so cool, I’m so special, look at me’ aura, despite the fact he was wearing what Vincent privately thought was the ugliest black skull tank top and black cargo pants with chains all over them in the world, making him sound like a human jingle bell. What was even worse about this guy was the fact he was twenty-two. A legal adult as well as the same age as Vincent himself.

Although…he couldn’t say much himself. He glanced down at his ruffled shirt with polka dots on it, which earned him the nickname ‘clown boy’ in school. He wrinkled his nose in distaste thinking about all of Damien’s teasing remarks on it. Again, the man was twenty-two, for heaven’s sake. He shook his head violently, trying to clear his thoughts. “Ugh! I am not letting some emo loser ruin my day! He can go die in a hole, for all I care!” he exclaimed, before ducking his head in embarrassment as he realized he said that aloud. “I mean…whatever.” he muttered to himself, before he heard the doorbell ring, making him jump and fall out of his chair. “Ow…why does my stupid apartment have to install such loud door…whatever.” he grumbled, rubbing his head before getting up and taking out his phone, checking his outfit and makeup before going to the door. “Who is it?” he asked before just opening the door, not bothering to check. Admittedly, that wasn’t the best idea, as he immediately got pelted in the face by rain. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but…wow, that hurt. “Augh-?!” he managed out, getting water in his mouth immediately. He spat it out and shielded his eyes with his hands, looking up, then down and spotting a box. ‘Seriously?! What the hell-?!’ he thought to himself before picking it up. ‘This better be good…’ He shook the box and could’ve sworn he heard a muffled, tiny…human-like scream coming from it, but…it was probably just the rain. Right? Right??? He sighed and brought the box to the kitchen, checking his phone for emails. No…he hadn’t ordered anything recently. His binder had come in the previous day, and he didn’t have anything else out for delivery. So…what was this thing? It wasn’t labeled, and it was dripping all over his counter. “You know what, random box?” he said to it, “I’m just gonna assume this is a glitter bomb and…” he grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer and stabbed it in, “Not open it carefully. I’m already sparkly enough.” he joked to himself, tearing the box open. He didn’t notice the muffled screams coming from it as he finished opening it, staring inside to find…absolutely nothing. “Oh, come on…” he whined to himself as he reached into the seemingly empty box, feeling around the edges until he felt a small, ping-pong ball-sized object. He squeaked in surprise as the thing moved, curling up tighter in his palm, “I don’t…what?” he mumbled, lifting it out of the box and staring at the trembling ball of what appeared to be charcoal. “Eh-?!” he let out a squeak of surprise, nearing dropping it as it jumped in his hand. 

“Uhm…” he was at a loss for words as he poked the thing, hearing it squeak. “I’m sorry!! Sorry…” he apologized as the doll…thing…tiny human…? uncurled itself and looked up at him, and he immediately recognized the man. 

“D-Damien…?” He stammered out, noticing how the other man immediately flinched and started trying to get out of his grip. “Wait, wait wait hold on—“ he said as he held him tighter, earning a squeak from the poor boy in his hands. “Wait, no, I’m sorry-“ he apologized, loosening his grip as Damien screamed in a tiny voice, making his heart break a bit. 

“Let me go, you freak!!” The emo boy screeched out as he squirmed, the chains on his pants catching on Vincent’s nails and making the whole situation even worse. “Were you the one who did this to me—?!” 

Vincent’s eyebrows shot up. “No, I swear! The package you were in was just delivered to my house in the rain!!” He protested, trying to get Damien to see, but Damien just froze, paling. 

“I-I-“ 

Vincent cut him off. “Come on man, you’re sopping wet and…this happened.” He indicated Damien’s size. “Can we at least just…get you some food and maybe dry…something?” He sighed as Damien stiffened. 

“No.” He hissed, “you are going to tell me what I’m doing here and what happened.” He hissed, trying to seem tough, but his voice shook at the end.

“I don’t know man, seriously!” Vincent exclaimed. “You just…showed up, and I don’t know what-!” He was cut off by Damien. 

“How am I supposed to trust your words?” The raven haired boy glared at him, “you and I, we’re enemies, you know that. You could..you could snatch me up and hurt me and—” he started trembling.

Vincent’s eyes went wide, “Dude, look at me-“ he began, using a finger to tilt Damien’s chin up to look at him. “First of all, you started our ‘rivalry’, whatever it was…and whatever your little emo heart is thinking, I’m not planning on hurting you. We haven’t gotten physical once, and I’m not going to break it.” He finished. After a moment of silence, he added, 

“Also, I’m the only person here, so it’s not like you have any other words to trust.” 

Damien huffed, knowing he couldn’t argue. “Clothes, then food, then talk?” He finally muttered out as Vincent smiled. This was…progress. Maybe. He still noticed the small shake in Damien’s voice and he tried his best to reassure him as he put the boy on the counter. 

“Clothes, then food, then talk.” He parroted. With that, he turned to find something for Damien to wear, despite their massive size difference. Hell, he’d even sew something up for him to wear. After a bit, he found something perfect.

“Damien!” He called back as he came back into the kitchen with the clothes before spotting an empty counter. His blood ran cold as he stared. “Damien…?” He paled, 

“Damien, talk to me. Where are you?” He said frantically before looking at his platform boots, suppressing a gagging noise as he thought about what had happened. He checked his boots, which were clean- thank goodness- before throwing them across the room and watching his steps. 

“Hey…Damien, it’s safe, I promise.” He whispered as he carefully walked up to the counter, noticing a trail of water droplets that led to a cereal box. He moved there quickly, putting a hand on the box to move it before hearing something- probably a scream, but at Damien’s size, it was more of a squeak. 

“Stop!!” 

The blonde immediately retracted his hand with a gasp. “Sorry, sorry—“ he mumbled out before an idea came to mind. “I won’t move it…” he began, a smile coming to his face, “but you have to talk to me.” He coaxed. A few seconds passed before he heard a muffled, “Fine.” coming from behind the box. 

Vincent sat down, leaning against the counter, “So, Damien…how are you feeling?” He asked. He heard a dry laugh in response. 

“Besides waking up in a box and getting held like a toy by my enemy…? I just feel…am I dreaming?” Damien sighed, “I mean, I seriously couldn’t have just…gotten shrunk by someone..and then somehow mailed to Vincent freaking Feldman, literally the dumbest person in school and-“ he cut himself off, obviously realizing his predicament. 

Vincent, however, only laughed. “gee, thanks for the description. I’m flattered. Is that how it happened though? Some guy just…decided to shrink you? Why?” 

“I don’t know…” Damien replied. “But I feel kinda…I feel stupid, like this is just another thing proving how I’m just a worthless idiot and-“ he was cut off by Vincent standing up. 

“Hey! I won’t let you say those things about yourself.” He flared, instinctively moving and slapping away the cereal box, the only thing separating the two. He watched Damien pale as the cereal spilled nearby. “I-I didn’t-“ he began as Damien started to back up. “Wait-!” 

“This- this was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” The other boy retorted before he could finish. “T-to make me feel safe a-and capture me!” With every word, he backed up a step more until he was just on the edge of the counter.

“Damien, hold on-!” Vincent yelled, reaching for him. “You’re gonna-“ 

Damien’s eyes went wide and he flinched back before falling off the counter with a scream, shutting his eyes tightly and expecting certain death. One second passed…then another…until he finally cracked an eye open. 

“Wh-?” He said as he was being held by Vincent again. The blonde had practically belly-flopped over the counter, laying on his stomach. Damien watched him wince. He flinched as Vincent spoke.

“What the hell, man…” the blonde growled. “Don’t say those things about yourself. I mean it.” He said as he got off the counter, still holding Damien as he lifted him up to eye level.

“Look man. You might be an idiot, but you’re not worthless, no matter what size you are. Besides, you’re my idiot.” 

It took a few seconds for both boys to process that, but when they did, Damien busted out laughing and Vincent just covered his face with his free hand in embarrassment, flushing a deep crimson.

“Anyway!” He exclaimed out, trying to change the subject, “Damien freaking Whitman! Stop laughing!” He said in a mom-like tone, making Damien laugh harder. “What was I saying-? Oh yeah! Clothes, then food, then talk!” He huffed out as he held out Damien’s new clothes. 

“I thought they might suit you. I used to sew doll clothes but this is really nice fabric that I tossed together. Hope you like it?” He managed out, trying to suppress a smile as Damien looked the clothes over.

Damien immediately stopped laughing at the sight. “…Dude, is that a dress? And it’s pink? ” 

Vincent started snickering at his expression, “I think you just invented a new shade of white with how pale you just got…” he managed out as he put Damien and the obnoxiously pink dress onto the table. “I’ll leave you be with your new…friend. Don’t run off again.” He grinned as Damien’s jaw dropped, the raven haired boy looking between him and the monstrosity of a dress.

“Can’t wait to see you in this, bye!” Vincent moved to leave quickly as Damien started shouting.

“Dude- VIN- wait! I’M SORRY FOR LAUGHING-! Don’t make me wear this!” The emo boy begged as the door clicked shut. He could hear Vincent laughing in the hall as he screeched.

“VINCENT FELDMAN!”

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[unfunpleasures]

unfunpleasures OFMD fic directory

I’m bad at using Tumblr now, but it feels like I should, at the very least, have a fic master post.

One-shots

Fig-ured Out: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated G; 1,526 words. Stede's online date doesn't show, but that doesn't mean his evening is a wash. A prompt fill for OFMD Fluffvember 2023 Day 7: First date | "It's pouring down out there."

24-Hour Pharmacy: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated T; 2,436 words. It’s New Year’s Eve and Ed is alone. Even better: he’s en route to the only drug store on this side of town that’s open all night tonight, and it’s after 11 and he’s risking life and limb (okay, that’s probably an exaggeration, but drunk drivers and weirdos abound on nights like this) to go grab a pregnancy test, some snacks, and a bottle of moscato (which depends on how the test goes) for his roommate Anne. Not like he had anything better planned, honestly– ordering takeout and watching TV with Anne had been his big plans for the evening– but it’s cold and dark and loud and he’s not super thrilled with how the night’s going. Then he meets someone in the snack aisle and he changes his tune a little.

It’s a Date: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated T; 2,769 words. Stede's a regular at the coffee shop Ed works at. They're both going to a party at Lucius', but Stede's bringing a date. Ed's bummed about it.

Help Me Make It Through the Night: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated E; 5,867 words. Ed’s a champion bull rider who’s just lost to relative-newcomer Stede Bonnet. On their respective drives out of Wyoming, a summer storm leaves them both looking for a place to stay. Written for OFMD AUgust 2024 Day 6: Rodeo and #OneBedWeek. (You can find the podfic here.)

Picking Flowers: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated G; 2,002 words. Stede decides to pick some flowers and gets caught in the act. Written for the OFMD Gotcha For Gaza event.

Longfics

Kings River, 1969: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated E; 33,155 words. Fresno County, CA, June 1969. The mighty Kings River runs through the San Joaquin Valley of California, beginning as snowmelt in the high Sierras and running over 132 miles down the valley to where it terminates near what used to be Tule Lake. Besides providing a haven for wildlife and fishermen alike, there are multiple powerhouses along its course, and it provides irrigation for over a million acres of farmland, including several dozen acres of citrus along the south bank of the lower river in Piedra. This was the domain of one Edward Teach: 29 years old, single, and trying his damndest to keep his criminal record from getting any longer. Ed works on a citrus farm along the Kings River and newly-divorced Stede Bonnet, fresh from Tennessee, has just taken a job as a horse trainer at the ranch up the road. Written for AU-gust 2023 day 14: place-based.

Stationary: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated E; 111,161 words. Edward Teach has made a massive mistake-- what's a few more? A Gentlebeard lovers to exes to lovers fic set in the modern era. (You can find the ongoing podfic here.)

SMAUs

Ask a Punk: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated E; ongoing. Ed Teach is a barista who lives at and co-runs a DIY space. Money is tight and times are tough, so when he literally runs into trust fund kid Stede Bonnet, whom he recognizes from the cafe as one of his regulars, at the local university, his housemates convince him to rope him in as a bankroll. Stede is game to help out, but it quickly becomes clear that neither has their mind solely on business. (You can find the Twitter thread here.)

Series

Drive Me, Crazy: Blackbeard/Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet; Rated E; ongoing. California, 1974. Stede Bonnet is fairly new to trucking, which he started as a means of getting some time away from his failing marriage. He enjoys the time on the road, but he finds it a bit lonely-- that is, until he meets seasoned driver Edward Teach. Series includes (in order): Daydreams About Night Things, Drive Me, Crazy, Still Thinkin' Bout You, 'Till The Rivers All Run Dry (longfic), Home For the Haulidays (Christmas one-shot), Baby, It's Pure Love (Valentine's Day one-shot), and Here In Love (CJizzy one-shot).