#fuzzy mud
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I don’t give a fuck about walking into the kids section of the bookstore. If I want to find my percy jackson books I’m going to do so with zero shame because these little gremlins don’t appreciate the place like I do
#I ignore the employees looking at me when I walk in#like yes I’m 3 feet taller than everyone else here what’s the problem with that#and when I walk out with a pjo book the cashier gives me a little humored smile#there’s nothing funny these books are my holy grail#and they will continue to be#also the urge to give the little kids book recommendations#like hey I read that when I was your age you’ll love it I promise and it’ll make your mom like me for getting you into reading#I want to be the one to introduce them to an amazing book series#I sit down and read in the reading area with all the toddlers and idgaf#they have the best seats and I will be taking advantage of that#and the best part is walking around and pointing out all of the books I read in elementary and middle school#winn dixie#the one and only ivan#keeper of the lost cities#fuzzy mud#city of ember#I’m talking to all of you#because as much as I enjoy the books I read now they will never beat the ogs#I will never be embarrassed to go into the kids section#book reader core#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#barnes and noble#half of those kids are there by force#book tumblr#bookish#bookstores#kids section
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If you know this book I love you.
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#Fuzzy Mud#6th-7th Grade nostalgia#Don't exactly remember which grade it was read to us in#Pretty sure it was 6th Grade IDK
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Horrified at the sight of my reflections in your eyes, I don't belong there!
#muds art#splatoon#new agent 3#mercury (n3)#fuzzy octoling#should i fully commit to him being fuzzy.i might#i MIGHT bite the bullet#can we kill him
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Local middle aged dog man gets inebriated, still loves wife a usual amount.
#moomins#moominvalley#art#muddler#moomin muddler#the muddler#the fuzzy#moomins fuzzy#fuzzy#muddler x fuzzy#mudzy#also limber love muscle is a great username for Muds wjckdkkvkdf#he's on the ambien pill as the subreddit would suggest#he got his sleep problems fixed alright he's ok <3
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#I remember Conwell and Storm.#I think they were there with me.#I didn't want to scare them but I couldn't speak or do anything.#All I could do was lay there in the mud and my own blood.#I think Conwell was the one who found me first.#I think he yelled at me but it's blurry. It's fuzzy.#But I don't think he was mad necessarily.#I think he was just.. upset?#It's blurry. I don't remember who else was there.#🥀 – “ If you must die – Die knowing your life was my life's best part. If you must die – remember your life. ” — FLORENCE MULCAHY : SHIFT
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The secret boss of the household, the stealthily large and not so stealthily fuzzy Jayne!cat.
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The grumpy old man himself, lord of the floof, lover of mud puddles and estuary funk but hater of The Dread Indoor Wet; devourer of bell peppers and sugarsnap peas; the forever beloved Nanuq.
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"What's loved, lives." (Diane Duane, So You Want To Be A Wizard)
#miss these faces so much#sometimes zelda will flop her head onto my shoulder and it's almost like i could feel him there
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Breeding Habits of the Common Mothman
Kinktober Day 4: Oviposition
Mothman Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader
CW: Noncon, oviposition, stalking, kidnapping, non-human genitals, general yandere behavior, sweet delusional yandere
Word Count: 526
(This wasn't beta read and I kinda rushed, sorry for any mistakes and hope you enjoy it!)
On your back with your legs resting on his fuzzy shoulders. Large red eyes staring hungrily into your fearful ones. Pleasure started to overtake the initial panic as his cock plowed you with lewd squelching noises for the whole forest to hear.
How did you find yourself in this situation?
You were a park ranger. Your duties centered around keeping the forest safe. Mostly, this meant picking up litter, monitoring wildlife, preventing poaching, and a lot of keeping drunk fools from hurting themselves or lighting the forest ablaze.
It also meant being spied on by the mothmen. One in particular became fascinated with you, their leader.
He found himself spending most of his days watching you care for the forest, tending to it so diligently, defending it, and the creatures it housed. Fascination turned into obsession. You felt like something was watching you but dismissed it. There were plenty of animals in the woods.
The mothman began fantasizing more and more about you having a belly fully of his eggs. He could no longer control himself. His dreams had to be a reality!
He was positive you would respond positively to him. Who would not want to have a nice big mate to protect them? He could help you protect the forest so you would have time to rest and breed lots and lots!
And that's how you ended up whisked away, taken into the pocket dimension of the mothmen.
You kicked and screamed, but he didn't let go. He trilled and cooed to calm you as best he could. His poor mate was scared.
He sat you down in his hovel, a hut made of silk, moss, mud, and branches. You were still scared, so he showed you his huge cock. He was very proud of it. Surely, seeing his wonderfully large mating tool would show that he was not a threat and merely intended to breed with you! What mate wouldn't be excited to have such a nice cock inside of them?
It seemed to just frighten you more, though. Did you not know what it was for? He supposed it looked different from a human's. Much larger, slimy, tapered, and normally sheathed. Or maybe you had never mated before and were nervous.
Either way, it was okay. He would show his darling human what it was for. You tried resisting him, your hands pressing against the soft, thick fur covering his hard abs.
The mothman definitely showed you what it was for.
He cooed and trilled and hummed, praising you for taking his cock so well. Your toes curled, and eyes rolled back into your head as he slowly bred you over and over and over. Each of his orgasms deposited more and more of his eggs deeply into you.
You were such a perfect incubator! A nice, warm place for his eggs to hatch. With your caring and protective nature regarding nature, he was sure you would make an amazing parent.
You seemed to enjoy his cock so much he let you fall asleep while warming it for him. He nuzzled, cuddled, and willed you to have sweet dreams as you rested.
#yandere teratophilia#yandere terato#yandere x reader#monster boyfriend#gender neutral reader#yandere monster#yandere boyfriend#male yandere x gn reader#male yandere#yandere mothman#yandere exophilia#kinktober 2024#kinktober
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I need to be the toughest and manliest guy there is so my unstoppable swarm of wonderful younger brothers grow up understanding that sometimes a big strong dude man just needs to put on fuzzy socks and a mud mask to watch Princess Diaries 2 in his pajamas for the 134th time
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That hug….
“It was probably nothing but it felt like the world.”
— Morrissey, Autobiography
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When Steve picks up the phone, he can hear Eddie laughing before he’s even said a word.
“What?” Steve says through a smile; he’s used to this now, phone calls that happen for no real reason. Robin had gotten him well and truly accustomed to it: months of rambling conversations—with occasional interjections from Mr Buckley, chuckling as he warned Robin that she was gonna trip over the cord.
“I need your help,” Eddie says, amusement still evident in his voice, “it’s to win an argument.”
“Oh, is that all I am to you?” Steve acts like he’s going to hang up, covering the receiver with his hand so it sounds muffled.
“No, no!” Eddie’s laughing again. “Don’t go.”
Steve removes his hand, his smile growing. “All right, jeez. What’s up?”
“Okay, back me up here ‘cause Dustin and Lucas did not believe me. There was—we had an old gym teacher, right? He, like, towered above us, man, had a moustache, like what do you call it when it’s all—”
Steve feels another wave of affection; he knows that Eddie will be unconsciously demonstrating what the moustache looks like, despite the fact that they can’t see each other.
“—uh, bristly, you know what I—?”
“Yeah,” Steve says, “Mr Wilson. Didn’t he leave a couple years ago? Super mean for no reason, dude had a stick up his—”
“Yes!” Eddie crows in triumph. “I knew you’d remember, I knew it.”
Steve shakes his head fondly—Eddie’s making it sound far more impressive than it actually is, like he’s just sunk the winning shot or something. Like Eddie has an unshakeable belief in him.
“God, he was the worst. He was the one that was obsessed with cross-country, right—”
“Oh, Jesus Christ, yeah,” Eddie says. “It was actually scary. I swear he got some kinda evil kick out of it whenever it rained, like he’d hope we drowned out there or—”
Steve makes a vague hum of agreement; there’s a flash of the familiar in Eddie’s words, the memory of mud and rain against his skin. And…
“Shit, didn’t you…? Did you fall one time, I remember you limping?”
Steve’s recollection of it is fuzzy—like a lot of things were in the winter of ‘84—but as he talks, the more he grows certain; it makes sense of a momentary instinct he’d had in The Upside Down, as the earth shook: seeing Eddie fall out the corner of his eye, and suddenly wanting to check whether he rolled his ankle.
“Uh, yeah.” Eddie chuckles slightly—there’s a thread of embarrassment in the sound. Didn’t think—um, sorta hoped you wouldn’t remember that, honestly.”
“I don’t really,” Steve says, then winces. “That sounds bad. I just meant—”
“No, it’s okay,” Eddie says. Steve can hear how he’s smiling. “Better for my ego this way.” He pauses. “You were really sweet about it at the time.”
He moves on quickly—Steve knows that’s partly just Eddie being himself, how he joyfully leaps from one topic to the next. But he doesn’t think he’s imagining the flicker of something shy, the softness in Eddie’s voice, you were really sweet about it.
Steve makes sure to commit it to memory.
#gently falling in love with every phone call ❤️#pre steddie#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie
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"Why are we going to a scare trail, when you scream if a pan falls out of the cupboard?"
Kento grumbled, cosy in his cream turtleneck and teal overcoat. You preened, pressing the lids onto your travel mugs, and leaning up to nuzzle the shell of his ear.
"Because it's fun, you grumpy old goat. Come on. I need protection."
"You need sectioning, perhaps," Kento scoffed, opening the car door for you, "or the public needs protection from you." Kento shifted into gear, reversing with his arm behind your seat. You stroked a hand over his thigh.
"Well, you can be my supervisor then...sir."
Kento coughed, stalling the car at the turn, and grasping your hand with a warning glare.
"Don't. You know what that does to me."
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Clearly, the gates of hell had been opened into the other end of the Funfair. The screams were not ones of delight.
But, at the entrance, autumn leafcrunch and early chill, swirled with wood fires and yakitori and street food, spicing the crowds with orange and gold. You tucked your arm into Kento's, as if an old married couple, and squelched through the mud to your destination.
Kento grimaced up at the entrance, opening his mouth to speak, before you interrupted.
"I heard they used pig's blood. Not fake blood."
"That is grotesquely unsanitary--"
"--come on, let's queue up--"
"--I should report them to the Health and Safety executives--"
"Shhh, sh sh sh, come on now...there. Lovely."
Bouncing on your tiptoes in the queue, Kento shot you a wary sideways glance, speaking slowly, testing every word.
"I...am perfectly serious, though. You don't usually tolerate frights like this very well. Despite your profession. Always something I found...odd."
You sighed, shrugging. "Just...an overactive imagination, I think. There's something thrilling about being scared but safe. A luxury that work doesn't give us."
Kento was quiet, looking pensively into the Horror Maze, while you allowed a zombie bride to scan your entry passes. "Yes...that makes sense."
Kento was absolutely right, as you headed in. Within minutes, you were rendered useless, in a maze of bloodstained walls and cells-- some crude, tasteless attempt at an insane asylum.
And Kento remained...utterly unshaken. Not a hair out of place. Not even a flinch. Just his usual flat boredom, and irritated rumbles.
'Patients', 'doctors', 'nurses' and 'orderlies' in various states of grisly disrepair, chased you through corridors, backed you into cells, and rattled bars at you until you clung to Kento like a baby monkey.
Neither of you noticed how one of the doctors you passed turned to look at your retreating backs, tufts of fuzzy peach hair peeking out from under his surgical cap and goggles.
"Does nothing scare you?!" You demanded of Kento, squealing like a little girl as a 'doctor' tried to strap you to his table. Lifting you to safety by your waist, and tutting at the perturbed 'doctor', who sagged, put-out, Kento replied, solemn.
"Perhaps my fears are a little more abstract." You almost laughed as an approaching 'nurse' cringed away at Kento's devastatingly withering look.
It was only when you were both chased through a corridor by a horde of screaming visitors and 'patients', that you and Kento became separated. Your adrenaline felt less fun with Kento's absence, and you backed against a black curtain, your heart pumping rapidly souring blood to your limbs.
"Kento!" You called, your voice pitched and rising, "Kent--ooooooh!"
You were yanked back through the black curtain, your sobs muffled beneath a thick brown glove, and your assailant was quick to reassure you. He lifted his goggles and lowered his mask to grin at you, sweet and sunny.
"Hey! Mrs.Nanamin! It's just me."
You melted with relief, sniffling, "Oh my god-- Yuuji-- what are you doing here--"
"Ahhh, just tryna earn some extra cash. I saw where Nanamin went, want to go catch u--"
"No! Wait...Yuuji. Help me scare him."
Yuuji faltered, blinking. "What? Scare Nanamin?" Yuuji pondered, pinching his chin in thought. Eventually, he shook his head, smirking. "Nah. Nothing scares him."
You puffed your cheeks out, shaking your head. Peeking out from behind the curtain and surveying the carnage the actors wreaked upon the screaming visitors, you shook your head.
"Nope. I insist. Let's scare my husband. We'll find something-- anything."
And so, at your insistence, you and Yuuji staggered through a montage of terrific failures.
You locked Kento in a dark room, and he only hummed in minor irritation as a hissing, ragged contortionist spidered out of an impossibly tight chest. He kicked the door open, and held it open for the bewildered contortionist to leave first; "After you."
Yuuji manipulated Kento down a corridor with naught but increasingly unsettling nursery rhymes and crayon monstrosities on the walls. Kento found the radio, switched it off, and gave the crayon-marked wallpaper a despairing side-eye. He tried to scratch some crayon off, grimacing in dismay.
You encouraged a 'nurse' to spill a bag of 'blood' over Kento; he performed exquisite manoeuvres to save his coat, before sternly berating her-- "I'd rather not explain that to the dry cleaners, thank you."
Eventually, leaning back on a rickety wooden railing on a platform above the exit, you and Yuuji admitted defeat. Yuuji rubbed your shoulder in sweet conciliation.
"I told you," Yuuji sighed, as if you didn't already know, "Nanamin just isn't scared of anything."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. I just--"
The crack of the rail breaking behind you and Yuuji pierced the night, and you plummeted to the ground below, the air punching out of your lungs. Coughing, groaning, and dazed, you barely registered Kento calling your name, and calling your name, and CALLING YOUR NAME--
"--shit--" Kento swore, pale, and checking your head, and your eyes, and your body, and your eyes, and cupping your cheeks and surveying you for hurt or damage or injury, "--shit, are you hurt? Say something-- say something--"
You coughed, flapping a hand, saved by your Cursed Energy. "Fine, Kento, I'm fine--"
"-- jesus christ...you scared me."
You blinked up at him, feeling like the worst wife in the world. "I...scared you?"
Kento wasn't listening, still feeling your body all over in pale concentration. Yuuji sat up beside you, watching from beneath his goggles, cap and mask. He opened his mouth to speak, and Kento did not look up, but raised a single stern finger to point at him.
"Not a word, Itadori-kun. You scared me too."
#pseudowho#kento nanami#jjk#haitch#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami my love#nanami fanart#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami x y/n#nanami x reader#nanami x you#itadori yuuji#jjk itadori#yuji itadori#jujutsu itadori#Papamin by Haitch#Husband Nanami
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literally drawing him dude
#muds art#splatoon#mercury (n3)#siiigh....... fuzzy octolings#mercury is never fully fuzzified in my timeline by thw way...... this is a different universe#pose is lame i just wanted 2 draw him
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Years after Eddie moves out and Wayne retires, Eddie comes by everyday to help around the house. Wayne doesn’t like the fuss, he won’t be a burden, but the company is nice. The new place isn't as homey as the trailer, his memory's fuzzy about why he ever moved.
One day, Eddie shows up with the Harrington boy of all people. Not a boy anymore, a man fully grown but Wayne remembers him driving that shiny Beamer around Hawkins like yesterday. Eddie says they're old pals, but Wayne can't recall Steve ever coming around with any of Eddie's friends.
It's an odd pair, but Steve’s good company. He chats about baseball, doesn't mind when Wayne mixes up last night's scores with a game 20 years ago. Then throughout the day, Wayne catches Steve giving Eddie the kind of looks and touches that make it clear what kind of pals they are, or at least what kind Steve wants them to be.
It warms Wayne's heart to see. He’s not gonna be around forever, and he always wanted Eddie to settle down with someone. It's hard for men like Eddie, for men like them, but he doesn't want that to stop Eddie from having the chance. So that night before they go, when Wayne's getting squared away in bed, he whispers to Eddie, "Steve's a good one, son. If you ever get ahold of him, don't you let him go."
Eddie just grins, almost something sad about it, and says, "Okay, old man. I'll keep him. I promise." The same thing he always says, every time this happens, but Wayne doesn't know that.
Every day is different, but sometimes Wayne remembers Eddie and Steve have been together for a decade. Sometimes he remembers the small backyard wedding, laughs about how it rained and Eddie slipped in the mud. Sometimes he remembers that he came to live with them when the dementia got worse.
But on days when it's all brand new, when he meets Steve for the first time again, he always knows that he's the right one for Eddie. So Eddie’s gonna listen and hang onto Steve with everything he’s got.
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The Oriental Blue Clearwing Moth: these moths were regarded as a "lost species" for more than 130 years, until they were finally sighted again in 2013
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7fc1f1805b84e22845da6a6a9f2bf9ef/c73b858117987ad7-70/s540x810/254e5f64c2bd8d9cf12bf05b9301109b25254cfc.jpg)
For more than 130 years, the Oriental blue clearwing moth (Heterosphecia tawonoides) was known only from a single, badly damaged specimen that was collected in Sumatra in 1887. There were no recorded sightings of this species again until 2013, when entomologist Dr. Marta Skowron Volponi unexpectedly found the moths feeding on salt deposits that had accumulated along the riverbanks in Malaysia's lowland rainforest.
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These moths were observed by researchers again in 2016 and 2017, and research indicates that the moths are actually bee-mimics, as they mimic the appearance, sound, behavior, and flight patterns of local bees. Their fuzzy, bright blue appearance might seem a little out of place for a bee-mimic, but those features do appear in several different bee species throughout Southeast Asia.
When the moths are in flight, they bear a particularly strong resemblance to the bees of the genus Thyreus (i.e. cuckoo bees, otherwise known as cloak-and-dagger bees), several of which are also bright blue, with banded markings, dark blue wings, fuzzy legs, and smooth, rounded antennae. The physical resemblance is compounded by the acoustic and behavioral mimicry that occurs when the moths are in flight.
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Cloak-and-Dagger Bees: the image at the top shows an Indo-Malayan cloak-and-dagger bee (Thyreus novaehollandiae) in a sleeping position, holding itself upright with its mandibles clamped onto a twig, while the image at the bottom shows a Himalayan cloak-and-dagger bee (T. himalayensis) resting in the same position
The moths also engage in "mud-puddling" among the various bees that congregate along the riverbanks; mud-puddling is the process whereby an insect (usually a bee or a butterfly) draws nutrients from the fluids found in puddles, wet sand, decaying plant matter, carrion, animal waste, sweat, tears, and/or blood. According to researchers, the Oriental blue clearwing moth was the only lepidopteran that was seen mud-puddling among the local bees.
Dr. Skowron Volponi commented on the unusual appearance and behavior of these moths:
You think about moths and you envision a grey, hairy insect that is attracted to light. But this species is dramatically different—it is beautiful, shiny blue in sunlight and it comes out during the day; and it is a master of disguise, mimicking bees on multiple levels and even hanging out with them. The Oriental blue clearwing is just two centimeters in size, but there are so many fascinating things about them and so much more we hope to learn.
This species is still incredibly vulnerable, as it faces threats like deforestation, pollution, and climate change. The president of Global Wildlife Conservation, which is an organization that seeks to rediscover "lost species," added:
After learning about this incredible rediscovery, we hope that tourists visiting Taman Negara National Park and picnicking on the riverbanks—the home of these beautiful clearwing moths—will remember to tread lightly and to take their trash out of the park with them. We also recommend that Americans learn about palm oil production, which is one of the primary causes of deforestation in Malaysia.
Sources & More Info:
Phys.org: Bee-Mimicking Clearwing Moth Buzzes Back to Life After 130 Years
Mongabay News: Moth Rediscovered in Malaysia Mimics Appearance and Behavior of Bees to Escape Predators
Journal of Tropical Conservation Science: Lost Species of Bee-Mimicking Clearwing Moth, H. tawonoides, Rediscovered in Peninsular Malaysia's Primary Rainforest
Frontiers in Zoology: Southeast Asian Clearwing Moths Buzz like their Model Bees
Royal Society Publishing: Moving like a Model - mimicry of hymenopteran flight trajectories by clearwing moths of Southeast Asian rainforests
Medium: Rediscovery in a Glint of Blue
re:wild.org: The "Search for Lost Species" Project
#lepidoptera#moths#heterosphecia tawonoides#oriental blue clearwing moth#entomology#insects#cute bugs#nature#animals#lost species#mimicry#evolution#bees#southeast asia#Malaysia#colorful moths#bee mimic#science
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Chapter 7 - Something I Can See
Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist
Author's Note: Big chapter for fans of yapping and Dean overthinking things.
Chapter title from Something to Believe by Weyes Blood
Word Count: 16.8k
Chapter Summary/Warnings: Sam and Dean drive you home. Usual warnings.
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, big angst, fluff, monster of the week.
Chapter 6 - Chapter 8
Read on A03!
She was going to be okay. They’d managed to get the knife out of her gut, and Sammy had stitched Her up, so She’d be fine.
She was still knocked out, but Her breathing was even. The blade had been so hot Dean had needed to use a towel to hold it, but it was out of Her body. Her wound kept bubbling and blistering, but it wasn’t an infection.
She’d be fine. Dean was going to kill Her, but she’d be fine.
He looked down at Her, spread out across Baby’s backseat and curled into her body. She’d barely made a sound since She’d passed out. Only soft moans and whimpers as they worked on the injury, and a few grunts as they’d moved Her into the car, adjusted Her body in the seat, and set off on the road.
They’d done everything. All Her shit was in the trunk, Sam was sitting with her to make sure she didn’t fall over or get worse, and Dean was breaking every traffic law he could think of to get there faster.
To South Dakota.
To Bobby’s.
It had taken Dean too long, in the parking lot, to actually call Bobby. He’d waited until She was settled, until they’d loaded almost everything into the car, and until Sammy was dealing with the front desk so Dean was alone.
He hadn’t been alone. He’d been sitting in the back of the Impala, Her head on his knee and his hand unable to stop tracing over her face.
It was wrong. Looking at Her like this. Features sunken and hollow, lips drained of blood, breathing shallow in a way Dean could feel. It made his own breath labored, his whole body tensed as She relaxed against him, and he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve the trust of Her vulnerability, the way Her beautiful face was half buried in his thigh, the way She’d let out a weak, sad sound whenever he tried to pull away.
He’d hurt Her. He’d spent the entire night after their fight ripping apart the club grounds and roaring Her name, giving Sam daring looks to say a single thing. He’d beaten himself into the mud in fear that he’d lose Her twice. Once with spat words and a cold look of hatred, then again with a shredded body and dulled eyes.
He’d wanted to strangle Her. He’d wanted to apologize, and shout that he had nothing to apologize for. She’d lied.
Not about what Dean thought She’d been lying about, but She’d still lied.
Although, admittedly, the truth was far more confusing.
Because Dean had stared at the small, robot-print letters on Her phone screen—pixilated and fuzzy and flipping his world upside—and not known how to process them.
Bobby Singer.
There could be other Bobby Singers that weren’t Dean’s Bobby Singer. That weren’t the guy who was practically his uncle, who he’d played catch with, who’d made him food and given Sammy run-down toys to play with.
It didn’t make sense for this to be Dean’s Bobby. Dean had half grown up in that house. He’d stayed there for weeks on end when Dad had been on a really bad hunt—hunts where he’d come back with hooded eyes and fisted hands, snapping short orders because they didn’t have time to waste on sentimentality—and Bobby had never once had a daughter. Especially not a hot, annoying, impossible one.
Dean would’ve remembered meeting Her before. There’s no shot he would’ve ever forgotten Her. He couldn’t. He’d tried. Dean was pretty sure that, even if he’d only laid eyes on Her once in passing, he would’ve been drawn down into Her and never climbed back out.
That was simply what She did. Who She was. A walking, breathing song that Dean couldn’t figure out how to touch but still wanted to try to learn. She got stuck in his head and played there on loop, and if he’d ever seen Her before that moroi hunt, he was damn sure he would’ve remembered.
And Bobby would’ve told him. If Bobby had a kid that was around Sam and Dean’s age, they would’ve known. Dad would’ve known.
Dad should’ve known. And he obviously hadn’t. Whenever Dean had brought Her up, Dad had called Her that little girl.
Hell, Dad had told Bobby about Her. Dad had said Her name and Bobby hadn’t gone Fuckin’ Jesus, John, that’s my daughter. The hell is She doin’ huntin’ a poltergeist.
Bobby had reacted strangely, though. Dean remember him hanging up right after Dad mentioned Her.
And She had mentioned her dad was a gruff, smart hunter. Which described Bobby, and explained why She knew so much random shit about hunting, and that was Bobby’s number in Her phone, and-
She’d lied. She’d said She didn’t know a Bobby. She’d asked Dean what he thought of Bobby.
Like She was curious what he’d think.
Son of a bitch.
Because when Dean squinted, he could see Bobby on Her face. Not physically, but in small divets and shadows on Her face and body and voice.
They rolled their eyes the same way. Like they were done with everyone’s shit, and knew that they were the most competent and reliable person in the room.
She had the same laugh Bobby had. Dean had only heard Bobby laugh—really, fully laugh with his whole chest—three or four times, but it was the exact same laugh. Loud and powerful and almost cartoonish.
They didn’t walk the same way, but they fought in similar movements. Brutal and effective, with no more or less than necessary.
And if Dean really thought about it, there were smaller things he could draw together. How She turned a page, how She held a pencil, how She drank her coffee.
Small mannerisms She would’ve picked up from being raised by someone, the same way Dean would spin his keys and Sammy always flipped his wallet in his hands before opening it.
Like Dad did.
Part of Dean hadn’t wanted to call the number. His thumb hovered far too long as he’d debated if he even wanted to know. If this was really what it seemed to be, and he’d have to piece together a puzzle he hadn’t known existed a fucking hour ago.
She could never know that he’d looked down at Her, and that had been what finally got him. That Her scrunched face had made his heart feel like it was being wrenched and pounded, that he’d run his thumb over Her nose, she’d relaxed, and let out a song-like sigh that had been it.
He’d pressed call, held the phone to his ear, and still not fully believed it until the line picked up after two rings.
“Hey, kiddo, I wasn’t expectin’ you to call until you had that Kelpie down. You alright?”
Dean had frozen, his voice caught in his throat, staring at Her face as static sounded in his ear.
That was Bobby. Bobby clearing his throat, Bobby grunting Her name-
“Is everythin’-“
“Bobby?” Dean’s voice had been hushed, and he’d watched Her carefully to make sure she wasn’t disturbed.
There had been a long moment of silence, this time from Bobby’s end, and then-
“Dean?”
“Yeah, it’s-“
“Where the hell did you find this phone, boy?”
Dean had said Her name, his hand tracing over Her brow, still checking she was real. “She gave it to me.”
“She fuckin’- where is she?”
“She’s right here-“
“Put her on, I need to talk to her.”
“Yeah, uh,” Dean had swallowed, and She’d shifted slightly, pressing further into his lap. “I can’t.”
“Dean Winchester, I ain’t lookin’ to kill you, but if you don’t-“
“No, I- I literally fucking can’t, Bobby.”
“Why in hells balls can’t ya’ pass a phone-“
Dean said Her name again, something like lead coating his throat. “Uh, she’s- She’s knocked out.”
There was a brief second of silence, and Dean had winced when Bobby spoke again.
“What the hell typa’ shit have you two gotten into that she’s knocked out?!”
“A demon attacked her, and we- Bobby, we tried to fight it off but it got a knife into her gut, and Sammy patched her up but-“
“Sam’s there?”
Dean had frowned. “Yeah, uh, who else-“
“Never mind, I thought-“ Bobby had sighed through the phone, something tense growing in his voice. “She stable?”
“Yeah, but she told us to call you.”
“Alright, bring her up here and I’ll be ready. And Dean?”
Dean had nodded, staring at Her gorgeous, almost peaceful face, and there had been a long stretch of silence before he remembered Bobby couldn’t see him.
“Dean-“
“Shit, sorry, what’s-“
“I don’t want you lettin’ a single fuckin’ thing near her but you and Sam, got it?”
“Yes, sir-“
“Don’t yes, sir me, boy. Promise me you’ll keep her in your sight.”
“I will. Promise.”
It had been an easy thing to say. The thought of leaving Her alone had—even as his head spun, and his chest started to mold with the question of why the hell she’d lied—made Dean feel taut and sick.
And Bobby had hung up the phone, and Dean had kept his promise. He’d never left Her alone, not for a second. Sam had sat with Her because Dean didn’t trust himself to care for her properly—didn’t deserve to have Her half slump over his body and sigh against his skin—and Dean’d had to force his eyes to stay on the road, and not drift to check on Her
It was bad enough that his mind had been wandering. Coming up with more and more reasons this didn’t make any fucking sense, and far too many reasons why it did.
She’d called going to Bobby’s home, and Dean felt something like bile in his throat at the thought that whenever She’d said home before, she’d been talking about Bobby. And lying. And letting Dean think She was living in a fancy gated palace, when she’d just been at Bobby’s. But now, when Dean pictured Bobby’s table, he could see Her at it. She slotted into the scene perfectly, just as She fit so well in every other part of Dean’s life.
And he still couldn’t hate Her. He had far too many questions—where the hell She’d been whenever they’d stayed with Bobby, why had She never corrected Dean, why had Bobby lied about knowing Her—and he didn’t know what the hell was happening, but he just couldn’t fucking hate Her.
“Hey, Dean?” Sam had asked a few hours ago, watching Dean carefully from the backseat. “What happened, last night? You just, you called me and said she’d stormed off, but-“
“Don’t.” Dean had muttered, his grip tightening on the wheel, and Sam had sighed.
“Look, you don’t have to tell me everything, I just want to know why she’d just fucked off, it doesn’t seem like her-“
“You don’t know her, Sam-“
“But you do-“
“Do I?” Dean had snapped, his eyes flicking back to Her in the rearview mirrors. Always close, and untouchable, and a mystery Dean could never seem to get close to solving. “I’m not sure anyone knows her, and I certainly fucking don’t.”
“Yeah, you do, Dean.” Sam had leaned forward, his tone far too careful and gentle. “Whatever fight you guys had, however pissed she got, I can’t be that bad-“
“Yeah, it can be.” Dean had scowled at the road, his voice lowering to a grunt. “Drop it, Sam. I fucking serious.”
Sam had sighed, and nodded. “Alright, what about the demon? Do you think we need to be keeping an eye out?”
“Eye out-“
“For another one.” Sam had glanced down to Her, she’d made a small noise of distress, and the sound had ached in Dean’s chest. “Dude, it- It knew who you were. And it seemed to know her-“
“There’s- How the hell would a demon know her-“
“I don’t know, that’s what I’m asking.” Sam had swallowed, and Dean could see the nerves written over his face in the mirror. “You think Bobby will have an idea?”
Dean didn’t know. He’d snapped at Sam that when they got to Bobby’s they’d have plenty of time to figure out what the fuck was happening, but the question was still echoing around his head.
Why would a demon have gone after Her. She was just a year older than Sammy, so she couldn’t have made that many enemies. She wasn’t some kind of target. There was nothing about her that could-
There was everything about Her. If Dean thought about it for too long—which is all he had time to do—She wasn’t just an enigma to Dean. Her family was still her family, no matter how she knew Bobby. Dad had said She’d stolen something, all those years ago. Maybe the demons would want it.
Maybe others felt that pull. Maybe there was something deeper Dean didn’t know how to see.
Maybe there was nothing at all, and the demon had been hunting Her because of her proximity to Dean.
That thought made him feel sore and ill. Dad said that it was a demon who had gotten Mom. A demon who had gotten Jess.
And She wasn’t Dean’s. She’d made that perfectly fucking clear.
But he couldn’t stop looking at Her. Couldn’t stop how the air didn’t feel clean in his lungs because Her breathing was shallow, how his hands kept itching on the wheel to brush over Her cheek and soothe the small wrinkle in Her brow. He could tell himself he just wanted to check for a fever, but he also wanted to move the hair from Her face. Sam was just letting is lie there, and Dean knew she hated people touching it, but she always let Dean touch her. She never slapped his hand away when he touched Her. She leaned into him, and sometimes She smile, and sometimes Dean could pretend she was his-
She wasn’t. She wouldn’t be. Dad had known Mom. Sam had known Jess.
Dean didn’t know anything. He didn’t know why the demon had been after Her, or what She been thinking just stomping off, or why Bobby was her home.
All he really knew was that this still looked wrong. That the sight of Her in pain was making his heart shred itself in his chest, and that he wanted to reach around the seats and touch Her. Pull Her into him until nothing else could hurt Her, until he could get her somewhere safer than him.
She’d be safer anywhere but with Dean. Bobby had said to keep an eye on Her, but Dean didn’t trust his eyes. All week they’d kept seeing things that didn’t really make sense. Every moment they just made Her more beautiful, even as Dean silently cursed himself for still looking.
He couldn’t stop looking. He fucking hated Her for lying, but every single sharp and blunted piece of wrath in Dean’s chest felt more searing when it carved on his own ribs. She was a liar, but Dean was a piece of shit. He’d bitten Her too hard. He didn’t have a damn clue about Her life, but he’d still aimed to kill and then been a whiny son of a bitch when his shot had landed.
She may bring out the most of him, but it was still Dean who was made of all those foul, uncontrolled pieces.
Dad knew how to control himself. Dad wasn’t perfect, but at least he kept himself in line, and he’d tried to teach Dean how to do the same but Dean was just weaker. Pathetic and useless.
He didn’t deserve to be around Her. No matter how much it pissed Dean off that She was better than he was, it didn’t change the fact. Dean wasn’t worthy of being around Her.
And he still couldn’t stop looking. She was dangerous, and awesome, and looked so perfect in Dean’s car—fit so well with everything that was Dean, everything that belonged to him—but she also was impossible. And insufferable. And seemed to be trying to break Dean into pieces, because Her eyes fluttered, her breath hitched, and She arched her back.
All while mumbling Dean.
Her eyes drifted open, a small frown on Her face, and the first thing she said was Dean.
She was trying to kill him.
“Dean.“ Her voice was soft, and weak, and rooted right into the cavity of Dean’s chest. Washing it in silver light with only Her voice, saying his name as Her fingers flexed and she reached mindlessly out into the air.
There’s a brief second where Dean wondered if She was looking for him. Reaching out to see if he’d take Her hand, if he’d reassure her with just his touch.
He needed to get it together.
He didn’t know how.
“I- Dean, what’s- I don’t-“ Her voice was growing distressed, Her slightly gazed as they dragged open. Her fingers seemed to be digging into Her skin as she shrank into the bench, Her breathing speeding up and becoming short and shit-
It looked wrong. It felt wrong. Dean had no right to touch Her, no reason to tense and balk at the sight of Her in pain—small and panicked and almost feral in his backseat, ducking Her head and hugging her body as if she could shield herself—but he couldn’t stop himself from wanting hold Her until she was calm, to wrap himself around her like a barrier from everything else that could hurt Her in the world.
It was selfish as hell. Dean could hurt Her. Dean had hurt Her. He was the asshole who got them here in the first place, all by not knowing how to just control himself.
He didn’t want to control himself right now. Not as Her face twisted in pain.
Not as She kept saying his name.
“Where are we- I- Dean-“
“I’m here,” He muttered Her name, gripping the back of his seat to stop himself from reaching for her. “We’re in the car.”
She went silent, Her body stilling completely, and cold seized over Dean’s body. Why was She just lying there. Why wasn’t She speaking, or shouting, or sneering. Asking questions or spitting venom about their fight, trying to get up or curl further into Herself, why was she so fucking still-
Dean was about to damn it, reach further back, and touch Her—just to feel the warmth of Her body, just to get something of a reaction—when She finally spoke.
“Dean?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and Dean would’ve never bet on that being what She’d say. On Her seeming to mean it, her face twisted slightly, Her head bowed, and her voice soft. “I- I didn’t mean to.”
He frowned. “Mean to what.”
“Anything.”
Her eyes drifted open. Bright and seeming to glow on Dean’s, looking at him like She always had. If Dean didn’t know better, he would’ve thought their fight had never happened. There was no possible way it could’ve when She was still looking at him. Right into him, into the deep pit in his body that felt smaller under Her attention. Felt lined or coated in warmth and light, because that was what She did to him.
And She still looked vulnerable. Just watching him, something more nervous on her face than Dean usually saw, something almost afraid.
He hated it. She shouldn’t fear Dean, She should trust him. She didn’t, but he needed Her to. At least enough to know that, even if Dean—for some sick, fucked reason—tried to, he couldn’t lay a hand on Her. He could hiss and mock and poison Her with his mouth or presence, but he was pretty damn certain that his body would turn itself to ash before it hurt Her.
Which didn’t make sense. It wasn’t rational, or reasonable, or understandable. But Dean’s hand flexed on the seat, and She practically fucking flinched, and Dean had never felt lower in his life. Any ideas he’d been holding about demanding answers and shouting about everything—their fight, Her lies, his brimming and spilling desire and how She needed to stop doing this to him so he could control himself—began to vanish into thin air. It was impossible to be really, truly angry at Her when she looked like that. Beautiful and fragile and critical to the blood in Dean’s body.
He’d find that anger later, and they’d fight later. For now he just let out a long breath, and shrugged.
“’S fine.” It wasn’t. But it was the only good thing to say here, because Dean might rather stab himself than tell Her about how fucking furious he was, and make Her fold further down. He’d wounded Her enough for a while. “You feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I’m-“ She paused, hands padding over Her stomach. “Did you-“
“Sammy gave you some stitches.” Dean said, watching her carefully. “He’s not great that them, though, so don’t move.”
Her mouth twitched slightly. Dean wished he could touch it. “Where is Sam?”
“Getting gas. We got a few hours left until we hit Sioux Falls.”
“Oh.”
Dean didn’t miss the flash of something over Her face. He didn’t know what. He just knew it was wired, and taut, and brittle. That he wanted to ease it, but didn’t know how. Wasn’t really worthy of trying to learn.
But Sam was taking a while.
And Dean couldn’t fucking stand how fearful She looked.
“If you press on the stitches, does it hurt?”
She raised her brows. “I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to press on them, Winchester.”
“Nah, I know, I’m just trying to figure out how shit a job Sammy did.”
She didn’t look like She believed him, and Dean really wished he’d come up with a better excuse to talk to Her, because now she was lifting up her shirt.
Her skin looked a little raw and torn around the wound, but everywhere else was soft. Smooth. He’d noticed it while patching Her up, that she barely had any pale, raised patches of skin where other hunters did.
No scars was so fucking rare.
But so was She.
And Dean needed to pull it together.
“It’ll hold,” She looked back to Dean, and he had to blink at her. Pretend he hadn’t just been gaping at Her bare skin. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He muttered, scanning over Her features. She was awake, but there still wasn’t enough color in Her face. Too little fury behind Her eyes, nothing dancing and shining like it usually did. She looked exhausted. Weakened. The little furrow of Her brow tighter than usual.
They had hours to go, and Dean knew how to fix that. He knew how to poke at Her until she snapped and everything bent with Her—all Her force making the world clearer, Dean’s body stronger—and how to walk right up to the invisible line, touch Her just as much as he was allowed, and make Her relax. Sam didn’t. But Dean did.
“I’m coming back there.” He grunted, starting to shift in his seat, and She frowned.
“What?”
“Sammy’s gonna drive the rest of the way, I’ll sit with you-“
“No, you don’t-“
He shook his head. He didn’t want to hear Her say he didn’t have to, because it just reminded him that she didn’t feel this. That there was nothing that called Her to Dean’s side, because if there was she’d be fucking begging him to sit with Her.
He knew that, because he was seconds away from dropping to a new low and begging Her.
“We had Sammy back there all day,” he held Her gaze, trying to make his voice stern. “Only fair you get saddled with me too.”
“I’m not-“ She cut herself off with a shake of Her head. “I don’t need Sam to sit with me either, De. I’m fine.”
De. She said De, and it was maybe the only thing more powerful than Her calling him Dean. Even if She didn’t mean it, the word felt like a command over his body, and that was only another thing Dean didn’t understand.
“You’re- you look like shit, Princess.“ He couldn’t stop the nickname from slipping out of his mouth. No matter how screwed things were, the way Her body loosened slightly at the sound of it was always a small high, and Dean couldn’t figure out how to stop chasing it.
She scowled. “Hey-“
“You just got stabbed, and you haven’t woken up in six hours-“
“I’m awake now-“
“And I’d like to keep it like that.” Dean snapped. “I- you just gotta-“ He ran a hand over his face, because She didn’t want him there, but every time Her eyes drooped or Her body twitched with pain it made Dean’s gut contract. “At least keep Sammy. So you’re not alone.”
She rolled Her eyes. It really did fucking look like Bobby. “I’m not alone, dummy, you’re like two feet away.”
“What if you pass out again? Am I just supposed to pull over?”
“Yeah? I mean, I’m not gonna pass out-“
“You can’t know that, sweetheart-“
“I can guess.” She glowered at him, raising Her chin slightly, and even lying down She looked like royalty. “It’s my body, Winchester, and I feel fine.”
“For now.” Dean muttered, and She wrinkled her nose at him.
“Shut up-“ She cut herself off with a yawn, and Dean’s jaw clenched.
She couldn’t see Her. Every single second that passed no light returned to Her eyes, and everything just grew duller. She’d just yawned. But Dean was pretty certain that—if She hissed at Sam to get in the front seat and not bother worrying about her—the giant baby would listen.
Dean needed to work around this. She needed to be okay.
“You’ll need to keep talking.” He grunted, holding her gaze. “I hear one second of silence, and we’re pulling over so I can move back there. Understood?”
She gave him a flat look. “Are you serious-“
“Deadly, Princess. Understood?”
Dean might be imagining it, but a little color returned to Her face. The flush. And the breath. And the-
“Understood.” She muttered. “You’re such a fucking dick.”
“You’ve told me.” Dean turned back to face ahead, and she let out a long breath behind him.
This silence was short, but maybe the heaviest Dean had ever experienced. It weighed on the top of his chest, and he didn’t know how to push it off, and he wanted to look at Her again, but he couldn’t bear it if She didn’t look at him-
“Dean,” She whispered, and his whole body went alert at the sound of her voice. Softer than usual, but still calling him down. “I’m-“
Whatever She was, Dean didn’t get to know. Sam knocked on his window, waving to Her in the backseat, and Dean had to turn and roll down the window so they could hear each other.
“Dude, why are you hunching down like that, just get in the freaking car-“
Sam rolled his eyes, not moving to from the window. “I still need to get coffee, Dean. And,” He said Her name with a grin, completely ignoring Dean’s glower. “You’re up!”
“Yep.” She returned Sam’s smile, and Dean scowled. She hadn’t smiled at him. “Thanks for the stitches.”
Sam shrugged, leaning a little further through the window. “No problem. They feel okay? Because I was rushing a little to get you on the road, and-“
“They feel fine, Sam. I feel fine.”
Those last words were shot at Dean, and he rolled his eyes. “You won the argument, Princess, don’t get all bitchy with me.”
“I am not being bitchy-“
“You’re being dramatic-“
“I just got fucking stabbed, Winchester, I can be as dramatic as I want.”
Dean scoffed, twisting in his seat. “I’m the one who had to watch you get stabbed-“
“How fucking harrowing for you-“
“What the hell does harrowing mean-“
“Hey!” Sam slapped Dean’s arm, shooting both of them a stern look. “You guys can fight all you want when we’re on the road, but we actually need to get on the road. Tell me what you want from the gas station, and kill each other after.”
She let out a long breath. “Sorry, Sam.”
“Thank you,” Sam said Her name, gave Dean a pointed glare, and Dean scowled.
“I didn’t fucking do anything-“
She scoffed, the sound a rough cough that almost made Dean leap over the bench to pick Her up and hold her to his chest. “Oh, fuck off, Winchester-“
“Wouldn’t you love that, Princess-“
“Dean!” Sam snapped. “Don’t- Just tell me what you want, please.”
Dean opened his mouth, and She cut him off with sharp, short words.
“Don’t say pie. You’re driving.”
Dean was either going to smother Her with his hands around her neck, or with his mouth slammed to Her’s. She was so fucking hot, and annoying, and Dean wouldn’t strangle her because he knew his dumb body wouldn’t allow him, but Jesus, She needed to shut the hell up before Dean made her and then lost her forever-
“Dean?” Sam was raising his brows. Waiting for a response.
“Gimme some coffee.” He muttered, gripping the wheel like it could save him from Her glare, and how it made his skin feel sore. “And jerky.”
Sam nodded, glancing over to Her, and when she spoke her voice was too quiet. He watched to jump over the bench again.
“Coffee and candy?”
“Sure, you want anything specific-“
“Whatever’s cheap.” She said, and Dean was going to break the wheel.
His head was churning and spiraling again. She said that like Bobby said it. The same dismissive cheaper is easier, boy, and I ain’t an idiot to fall for fancy fuckin’ packagin’ tone.
“Snickers?” Sam offered, and She must have nodded because a second later, he was gone.
It was silent. So silent that Dean had a brief, stabbing moment of worry that She was passed out again. His eyes flicked up to the mirror again, and Her eyes were open—pretty and glaring at Dean like She wanted to stab him—but they looked lidded. And the little furrow was becoming more prominent, and Her breathing was a little too shallow, and-
“You’re supposed to be talking.” Dean snapped, and She rolled Her eyes. And it was still exactly like Bobby did, but, son of a bitch it was so much hotter-
He needed to get a grip. He needed to figure out how—when they eventually did get to Sioux Falls—he was ever going to be able to look at Her and not wonder how he hadn’t seen it before. He was a little fucking worried he’d look at Bobby and start to feel that gravitational pull. That Dean would start to orbit around Bobby, and smell him all the time, and hear his voice in dreams-
If that happened, Dean would need to give himself a concussion and pray it erased his memory. He already didn’t love how he wanted nothing more than to crawl over Her and make her smile, and if he started to crave Bobby’s attention too, he’d lose his mind. Crashing into Her was usually good, when she wasn’t trying to give him a heart attack or being the most impossible person Dean had ever met. Crashing into Bobby would be gross. If Dean had to start fantasizing about Bobby under him when he fucked someone, he might just have to kill himself-
“Dean!” She was shouting, Her voice slightly strained, and he turned to frown at Her.
“What’s-“
“What am I supposed to be talking about?”
He frowned. “I don’t fucking care-“
“Alright, then I won’t-“
“No.” Dean pointed a stern finger at Her, narrowing his eyes. “You gotta talk. That was the deal.”
“I didn’t make a deal, you just ordered me to talk-“
“I did not order you, Princess, I’m trying to goddamn keep you alive after you went and got stabbed-“
“Oh, suck my fucking dick-“
The car door opened, and they both turned to see Sam leaning into the car, coffees in hand and snacks under his arms.
“Oh, good, you didn’t murder each other.” Sam passed out their coffees and snacks, his voice a dry mutter that was gonna get him punched. “Actually,” he frowned between them. “If you’re going to fight for the rest of the ride, can Dean sit in the back so I can tune it out-“
“Neither of you are sitting in the back.” She pushed Herself upright with a small, weak sound, and Her hands were shaking. Dean was going to tackle Her.
“Maybe, uh,” Sam glanced at Dean as he said Her name, like he could see the rough tension over his heart at Her insistence to be as difficult as possible. “I mean, I really don’t mind if I do have to sit with you-“
“I’ll be alright without a babysitter-“
“Because you’re going to keep talking.” Dean muttered, drumming his hands on the wheel. “Sammy, apparently her majesty can’t come up with a topic, so that’s on you, but I don’t want a single second of silence, sweetheart, or-“
“You’ll pull over and be a massive fucking baby.” She snapped, and Dean wished She wasn’t so hot when she was pissed. “He threatened me, Sam.”
Dean scowled. “I did not threaten you-“
“Fine. It was blackmail.”
“It was- I-“ Dean whipped around to glower at her. “You’re such a fucking-“
“Bitch?” She sneered, holding his gaze. “Am I a bitch? Am I a spoiled little bitch?”
“That’s- You know I wasn’t-“
“Trying to hurt my little bratty girl feelings-“
“I never fucking said-“
She scoffed, and Dean could swear something hot and wired was fueling all his anger. Maybe it was how the air in the car seemed to be waving, or how every word was venomous and cold and making something inside of him wither, or how breathing was so fucking painful when She was furious and sneering-
“That I’m a bitch? That I’m a controlling fucking bitch-“
“Shut up! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Dean slammed his hand on the bench, and She flinched. Visibly flinched. Recoiled.
“I- I didn’t-“ She swallowed, staring at Her cup in her hands. “Sorry.”
Dean was a piece of fucking shit. He’d done it again. He’d pushed it too far because he was an asshole.
He muttered Her name, his voice low. “I didn’t- I’m-“
“Don’t.” She mumbled, and She wouldn’t look at him. “I’ll keep talking.”
Dean’s jaw clenched, and all he could do was nod. She looked sick. He fucking felt sick. He kept slamming his fist between them, making everything worse, hurting Her in a way he’d never seemed to be able to hurt anyone before-
Sam cleared his throat. Dean had forgotten he was there.
“So, uh, we’re talking.”
Dean opened his mouth to say no, they needed to fucking patch whatever the hell was wrong with him with glue, so he could shove himself into her hands as a pathetic, useless apology, but She was faster. Better. Still a liar, still in pain, but also still beautiful. Still so far away from Dean.
“Yeah. Get in the car.”
Sam nodded, shooting Dean one last look, and leaned out of the car. Dean started the engine—biting his tongue not to vomit a million apologies he knew wouldn’t come out right—and they were back on the road.
Four hours until they hit Bobby’s.
Four hours of beating himself bloody in silence, and listening to Her speak.
Normally Dean would’ve thought there was no better way to spend his time than being drowned in Her voice, and hearing her say anything at all. But normally She wasn’t in this pain, where She’d gesture too broadly and hiss, or Baby would hit a bump and She’d whine. Normally he didn’t have to force himself not to look at Her—and whenever he lost control and his eyes slipped to Her in the mirror, she didn’t look so colorless and drained—and normally Dean allowed himself to speak to Her in more than grunts.
She was acting like everything was fine. Sometimes he’d look back and She’d be smiling, and it didn’t reach Her eyes, and Dean had done that. That wasn’t the injury.
That was just Dean. Ruining everything because She’d fallen from the sky into his hands and he’d bashed Her into the mud.
“There’s…” Sam was said Her name, his voice filled with disbelief. “You don’t actually think that, right?”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t think it-“
“But it’s Star Wars! I mean, it’s not perfect, but you can’t seriously believe it’s bad.”
“It is bad, Sam. It’s objectively poorly written, but it has iconic imagery, music, and actors-“
“Because it’s not bad!”
It had been thirty minutes of this. Sam hadn’t needed to look that hard to find a topic, and the moment he’d said the words Uh, you like movies? Dean had known it was over. He’d had this exact conversation with Her before, and it had involved a lot more yelling and shoving than Sam was getting.
It had also involved Her giggling and smiling and leaning so close that Dean could see even the smallest features on her face—tiny bumps and scars, little divets that somehow made Her more beautiful—and smell that strange fruit until it intoxicated him, and he’d thrown his hands up in surrender.
Her eyes had sparkled then. She still wouldn’t look at him now. Even when Sam would echo a point Dean had made before, She shot it down with ease—and a careful, detailed argument that made Dean think She’s been freaking practicing—and Sam would let out a sigh that sounded a little like a whine.
“I don’t think it’s useless, you know. I’m saying it’s not-“
“You just called it the most overhyped movie ever made!”
“And it is, but that’s why it’s not useless. It was the primary cause of science fiction being popularized-“
“Because people liked it!” Sam looked to Dean with wide eyes—as if Dean could fucking do something about this—and then back to Her with a shaking head. “I- They’re maybe the most popular movies of all time-“
“Popularity doesn’t equate quality, Sam.” She said, and Dean hoped She couldn’t see him mouthing along with her every word, knowing exactly what she’d say. “It can, but it doesn’t have to. Star Wars being popular is its greatest strength, because that mean it was able to serve as inspiration for many, better things.”
Sam scoffed. “Like what?”
That was a mistake. If Dean was allowing himself to participate in the conversation, he would’ve been able to tell Sammy that saying that—especially in a doubtful tone—was never a good idea. She’d have examples, and if She didn’t, she’d come up with some right here in the car.
Dean had fallen for that trap before. And he was too fucking tired and bitter to save Sam from it.
“I’m so glad you asked, Samuel.” Dean glanced in the mirror, and that was a wide, blinding, almost manic grin that appeared when She was about to hand Dean’s ass to him on a platter.
He almost felt bad for Sam.
“I- Samuel?”
She hummed, completely ignoring Sam’s indigence. “Almost all science-fiction movies are somewhat inspired by Star Wars, or owe Star Wars the popularity of the genre. And, Star Wars significantly popularized the use of Monomyth in film-“
Dean didn’t remember what Monomyth was. Sam didn’t seem to either, because She cut herself off with a sigh.
“The Hero’s Journey. In movies.”
“Oh.” Sam frowned. “Dean said you didn’t go to college.”
Dean cringed slightly, feeling Her glare through the mirror.
“Did he.”
“Yeah, it’s just surprising, you’re smart-“
“I don’t have to go to college to be smart.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying, you just- You don’t sound like you didn’t-“
“I’ve read a lot.” She said, and a vision of Bobby’s library flashed through Dean’s head.
There were a shit ton of books in there. Even Sam hadn’t read them all, and Dean was pretty sure Bobby hadn’t either, but he also remembered Bobby saying that they’d all been read.
By Her.
“And,” She was still talking. Of course She was. “I’ve watched a lot of TV, which is how I know I’m right. Star Wars is terrible-“
In the corner of his eye, Dean watched Sam open his mouth, and then make his first good choice of the day and close it.
“But it’s also the only reason we have Indiana Jones-“
“You like Indiana Jones?”
Dean rolled his eyes. Another mistake from Kid Genius in shotgun-
“Shut up, Winchester.”
Dean blinked, scowling at the road. “I didn’t say anything-“
“You were going to.” She snapped, and when Dean glanced back, she was glaring at him. “So shut up.”
Sam frowned between them. “Why would Dean-“
“Her majesty loves Indiana Jones.” Dean grunted. “Good luck, Sammy.”
“Don’t wish him luck, I’m not going to try to kill him-“
“Sure, Princess.”
She kicked the back of Dean’s seat, and he didn’t even grunt. The hit was weaker than usual, and it wasn’t because She wasn’t trying.
She was just weaker. She was still coughing and taking breaths that were far too long. Her eyes were still a little hollowed, and lips in too tight a line, and brow drawn in pain. Dean couldn’t fucking stand it. He wanted to pull over, grab Her and demand that they forgive each other now—or at least try to pretend nothing had happened in the first place—because she was hurt and needed Dean’s help-
“I’m not going to kill you, Sam.” She said, and Sam didn’t look all that reassured. “And I do love Indiana Jones. I think it’s fun.”
Sam frowned. “Star Wars is fun.”
“Star Wars parodies are fun. There’s an episode of the Muppet Show with the Star Wars cast, and it’s better than all the actual Star Wars movies combined.”
She and Sam kept talking—Sam refused to believe one single episode of television could be greater than a film trilogy, and Dean didn’t think She was capable of just surrendering any sort of argument—and Dean’s head started to wander again. Back to Bobby’s house, and every single sign of Her he’d never noticed. Never had reason to notice, or dwell on, or observe, but now he couldn’t stop remembering all the grenadine in Bobby’s fridge that the man himself never seemed to touch, but always seemed to be in use. All the normal books that weren’t for hunting, and didn’t seem like things Bobby would read.
If Dean squinted in his head, he could see the VHS tapes stacked near the TV. There had been a lot of movies he’d stayed up late to watch���action movies and westerns and some fancy art films he hadn’t action movies and TV shows-really understood—but also some he’d never touched. Comedy films and chick flicks and-
“Bobby had that show.” Dean muttered, and She and Sam fell silent. “The Muppet Show. He had a freakin’ VHS tape.”
They hadn’t mentioned it since She woke up. The looming axe over all their heads, that they were heading to Bobby’s, and She’d fucking lied about knowing him.
But Dean hadn’t been able to stop himself. He was never able to stop himself with Her. It was fucking amazing, how he kept managing to make this whole thing worse.
“Yeah.” She muttered. She’d tucked Her knees to her chest. “He does.”
Sam cleared his throat, his voice gentle. “I, uh, you don’t have to answer, but can I ask how you know Bobby? Dean said he raised you-“
“He did.”
“Oh.” Sam looked between Her and Dean with a frown. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.” Her voice becoming taut, and it squeezed around Dean’s throat. “I’ve told you my dad is a hunter-“
“So Bobby’s your dad?”
“No, it’s-“ She sighed. “I- It’s easier to say father than man who raised me. We’re not related.”
Sam nodded slowly, and Dean stayed perfectly fucking still in his seat. If he moved or breathed wrong, She might remember he was here and stop sharing things.
“If you- How have we never met before?” Sam’s voice was cautious. Dean understood that. “It’s just, Dean and I have known Bobby our whole lives, we’ve spent weeks at his house-“
“I was…” She swallowed, Dean didn’t have to look back to know Her head would be bowed, and she’d be picking Her skin bloody. “Really sick. I had to be kept separated from other people.”
It wasn’t a lie. Dean could fucking hear it, could feel the sinking ache into his bones at Her tired, heavy voice. And it didn’t matter how vague and useless an answer that was—how it just left him with more questions about how sick She’d been, what type of sickness, if She was alright now when she didn’t really seem to be—because it was the truth.
And She looked sad. She wouldn’t look up, and She was tucked into Herself, and there was hair blocking all Her features from view, and Dean wanted to move it and touch Her, trace his hands over Her face until she smiled and her body went loose-
She wouldn’t let him touch Her. If he tried, he’d probably get punched in the gut, and it would leave a gash in his intestine he didn’t know how to prevent or heal.
He was still pathetic though. Still feeling an itch on his skin the longer She looked like she was trying to hide from something invisible, the longer Her brow pressed to Her knees and the acidic silence stretched on.
He couldn’t just stop.
“Keep talking, Princess.” He grunted, and he could feel Her glare sear through his head. It was better than nothing.
“Dean,” Sam’s voice was too gentle. He didn’t get it. How She was too quiet and too bendable and it was making Dean feel sunken and empty. “Maybe we can just listen to music or something-“
“No. Talk.”
Sam’s eyes widened, and if he kept gaping like that, Dean was going to kick and punch him.
“Well, Deano,” She was still glaring at him from the backseat. “What the fuck should I be talking about?“
“Anything, just-“
“Anything isn’t helpful-“
“Tell Sammy what food he is.” Dean snapped, and Sam blinked.
“Tell me what?”
“I’m pie,” Dean muttered, his grip on the wheel white knuckled. “Because the smartass back there is a little genius.”
“I am a genius.” Her voice was harsher than before. Stronger. “And I didn’t just say you were a pie, I said you were pecan pie, you asshole-“
“Same thing-“
“It’s not. The specification is important-“
“It’s damn pie, sweetheart. Pie is pie-“
“Why pecan?” Sam asked. “I mean, why not apple, or cherry-“
“Because I don’t pander.” She said, and Dean had to bite down a snort. “And he’s not nearly sweet enough to be cherry-“
Dean frowned. “Hey-“
“And,” She pushed on, ignoring Dean entirely. “The chewiness of pecan is very Dean.”
He didn’t know how to protest that. He didn’t know what to say to that. Not when he glanced back in the mirror and Her face was so unreadable.
She didn’t sound as pissed anymore. Dean didn’t know what to do with that.
“Okay.” Sam was nodding, looking between Her and Dean with another unreadable expression. Everyone needed to start saying what they were thinking soon, or Dean was gonna lose it. “I- Yeah. I can see that. What food am I, then?”
“Bubblegum.”
Her answer was quick, and if Dean didn't have to drive and brood, he would've laughed at the look on Sammy's face.
"I- Why?"
“You’re sweet. And flexible but still kinda stiff.”
Dean frowned, lowering his voice to speak under his breath. “I’m sweet.”
She hummed. “Yeah, but you’re an acquired taste, Deano. Like pecan.”
She kept talking, but the word bounced and echoed around Dean’s head. Deano. She only called him Deano when he’d said or done something stupid, but She wasn’t really that pissed about it. Deano had an underlying tone of affection to it. A higher sound on the De and a long moment on the O.
She might not hate him.
“Okay.” Sam was nodding slowly, still twisted in his seat. “I can be bubblegum. Is- Do you do that a lot?”
“Do what?”
“Uh, sort people, I guess? Like, what type of drink would you say I am?”
“She doesn’t drink, Sammy.” Dean muttered, and his seat got kicked again.
“I still know what drinks are-““Could you tell us what each one is like?” =
There was a brief pause—Dean could imagine the small, pouting frown on Her face—and then- “No.”
Dean shot Her a wink in the mirror before he could think better, and it was a mistake. She was glowering at him. She was really hot when She glowered at him—Dean could easily imagine smoke rising off Her body and small, silver spark flying over his skin when he touched Her—but her easy, high beauty wasn’t nearly enough to distract Dean from how shitty she looked. There was more gray in Her face than before, She was curled more into her own body, and, son of a bitch, Her eyes were fluttering slightly-
“What about music genres?” Dean said, just to keep Her talking, and She blinked at him. “What?”
“Music genres, Princess. You know hip-hop, pop, the blues-“
“I know what music genres are, asshole, why are you-“
“Which are we.” Dean gave a vague, one-handed wave between himself and Sammy. “Do your thing.”
“I don’t have a thing-“
“Yeah, you do. Give it a shot, sweetheart. Music genres.”
Sam gave Dean an unwelcome, amused look. “You know, it kind of feels like one of us-“
“Shut up, Sammy.” Dean looked back in the mirror, raising his brows at Her. “And you’re supposed to be talking.”
She wrinkled Her nose him, but she also started talking, so Dean didn’t really care all that much. He was rock—but She was annoying, said Latin pop first, and giggled for five straight minutes after—and Sammy was jazz. Fancy bar Jazz.
Dean didn’t know what that meant.
But he really liked the sound of Her voice, and the way She said most everything. She could’ve probably called Sam country music and he’d agree, just because of how She’d say. With a smooth, passive authority that told something in Dean’s brain She’s right. All the freaking time, even when She’s obviously wrong, she’s still right.
Sam was starbursts, and Dean was a KitKat. Dean was dusk, and Sam was noon. Sam was a Lily of the Valley, and Dean was a rose.
Dean had no interest in being a flower. He did like Her telling him what he was. He liked the idea that She’d been looking at him. That She’d thought about him enough to think he’d be a car if he was on object—which was a cheap shot, but still made Dean feel fuzzy—or a tree if he was a plant, or a seal if he lived in the ocean.
He frowned, waiting for Her to elaborate—he still wasn’t allowing himself to speak all that much, because this felt delicate and still slightly fractured—and decided he wouldn’t kick Sam’s ass for being a butthead the whole car ride when the kid took the bullet for him.
“Why am I an octopus?”
She yawned. It made Dean’s stomach clench. “You’re productive and floppy.”
Dean snorted, and Sam shot him a glare.
“Well then, why’s Dean a seal-“
“Cause he’s all big and toothy.”
Dean scowled. He wasn’t nearly as big and toothy as Sammy was, but fighting with Her on reasoning almost always ended up being a dead end. Just as how asking Her what she was only ever resulted in a hum and shrug. Dean’s goal was to keep Her talking, so he had to move on.
“Whatever, Princess. What about out of the ocean animals?”
She shifted a little in Her seat—letting out a small noise that hurt Dean’s whole body—but kept talking. Sam was this, and Dean was that. Dean was that, and Sam was this.
And every time she spoke, Dean could imagine the tilt of Her head, the way she was probably rubbing Her skin at she examined them and thought of an answer with far too much sincerity. He wanted to rub Her skin. To trace his hands up Her legs, watch Her look at him with nothing but softness in her eyes, feel nothing but molten light fill him up from the inside-
He needed to figure out how the hell She always did that. How all of Dean’s fury was now smothered and coated Her, how all the way in his soft tissue he just really wanted to touch Her. To stop giving Her reasons to sneer at him, to stop pushing Her until she fell away forever, for everything to just be alright.
For this conversation to be not edged with the knowledge that She probably didn’t want him around now. Even if She didn’t hate him, he must have snapped everything too much to fix it.
But Dean was pathetic, so he still wanted to care for and protect and follow Her.
He wanted to fix this. To salvage it.
He didn’t know how. He didn’t know why he couldn’t just drop this, just sit with the fact that everything was ruined and over. Why something to the right of his heart seemed to pound and roar at the idea of never touching Her again. Not ever a hand on Her back or brief high-five.
Worse was imagining never hearing Her voice again. Only hearing it call him on the wind.
He couldn’t really hear Her voice now.
She’d slumped forward, Her brow resting near Dean’s shoulder and her eyes turned towards the floor.
“Dean.” She mumbled, and his whole body tensed. “Can we be done with the talking game?”
“No,” Dean grunted Her name. “It’s not a game, you gotta keep talking-“
“I’m good.” She let out a long breath. It was too ragged. “I- I think I’m just a little tired.”
“Well, I need you to keep fucking talking-“
She shook Her head, her temple pressing right into Dean’s arm. “I don’t- it hurts, Dean.” She made a high, weak noise, and Dean was going to break the wheel with only his hands. “Can I have five minutes, please?”
Fuck. She was saying please.
“Princess, just- shit- for an hour, keep talking for an hour- Sammy-“
“Got it. Hey,” Sam said Her name, and his voice was too gentle. She needed it to be shouted, She needed to hear that she had to stay awake, that it wasn’t a damn option for Her to sleep. “Can you tell me more about, uh, movies? What’s your favorite movie?”
She didn’t have a favorite movie. She had about fifty, and they were all dumb, and She was always adorable when She told Dean about them, and why wasn’t She talking-
“Sammy.” She mumbled, grabbing Sam’s arm and turning Her head to him. Away from Dean. “Why does Dean call you that?”
“It was, uh, it was my nickname growing up.” Sam swallowed, giving Dean a desperate look as he continued. “Did you have a nickname, when you were a kid?”
“No.” She mumbled. “People don’t give smart little whores nicknames. But,” Her voice got softer, dropping like She was telling a secret. “Dean calls me Princess sometimes.”
“Yeah, uh, I’ve heard it. He said it like five seconds ago-“
“I like it.” She said, and Dean was going to grind his teeth to dust. “I like him. He’s an asshole, Sammy, but I like him.”
Sam had no right to look like he’d been punched. Dean was the one who had to keep driving and acting like he couldn’t hear.
Sam said Her name, his tone slow and careful. “I think-“
“There’s something wrong with me.” She said, and there was nothing angry in Her voice. She really just sounded sad. Sad and tired. “It really hurts.”
“I know, but Dean’s right, you need to stay awake until we get to Bobby’s-“
She groaned, and leaned further into Dean’s arm. “He’s gonna kill me-“
Sam shook his head. “I don’t think he’ll kill you-“
“He will. He’s gonna tell me I’ve been dumb and reckless, that I was supposed to-“ She paused, then sighed. “I��m not supposed to tell you.”
Sam frowned, looking back to Dean. He needed to stop doing that. Dean didn’t have a clue what was going on. “Why?”
“You’ll tell Dean. Then Dean will kill me. I like him, I don’t want him to kill me.”
“I’m pretty sure Dean’s not gonna kill you-“
“He is.” She let out another sad, little sigh. “He already hates me, Sam-“
“He doesn’t-“
“I don’t…” She yawned, shifting Her head just enough for Dean to see her eyes were closed. “I don’t hate him. I think he’s…”
She yawned again. And She didn’t finish her sentence, and Dean could swear their bodies were going to be glued together. She didn’t seem to remember he was there, but She was still moving closer into him, and he was going to go fucking insane.
Because She was asleep, and they still had an hour to go.
Dean swerved over from the far-hand lane, stopped Baby on the side of the highway, and got out of the car. Sam was smart and understood what was happening—scooting into the driver’s seat without a word—and She just kept fucking sleeping.
She barely stirred when Dean pulled Her backwards, letting Her head rest on his chest and her body slump in his arms. He wasn’t supposed to allow himself to touch Her like this. She might stab Dean if she found out he was hugging Her, holding Her like she was fragile and vital to everything around him. She would stab him again when he’d tell Her that’s because she was.
Everything was easier when he stroked his thumb down Her nose, and She let out a soft, breathy sound before curling fully into his body. The same way She’d tuck into herself, or sink into the mattress or couch after an episode. Like She was trying to shield herself from something.
But now, Dean was Her shield.
And he was so goddamn confused.
They had an hour until Bobby’s—more like fifty minutes now—and Dean still couldn’t wrap his head around what was becoming more and more obviously the truth.
If it was, She wouldn’t be spoiled. And that would make sense—She’d never really seemed spoiled, mostly just smart and confident—if that didn’t really mean that She’d been raised by Bobby. That the girl who’d painted Her nails on Dean’s motel table, who always smelled like sugar and fruit and kind of looked like She was forged deep in a star, had been raised by freaking Bobby. Beer and books and cars and no need to give me extra attention Bobby. The Bobby who was practical, and sharp, and didn’t take any shit-
Son of a bitch.
It still didn’t make sense. There was no reason for Her to lie about knowing Bobby. Dean had even told Her he liked Bobby. That Bobby was the best hunter he knew, after Dad.
He’d probably yell at Her about it, if he could. Shout and sneer and bite—he didn’t know how to just be moderate with Her, how to hold himself the hell together—until She gave him answers. And that never seemed to work.
But Dean also never seemed to learn. Not when it came to Her.
Because even as the confusion and anger bubbled in his chest, it wasn’t nearly as powerful as how goddamn sick he felt. Yelling at Her had gotten them here, and Dean never learned. If he hadn’t pushed and snapped Her, she never would’ve gone off alone, and the demon never would’ve seen her. It had probably realized that She was a hunter and stuck to her trail.
She wouldn’t be in all this mumbled, whined pain if it wasn’t for Dean. She wouldn’t be in danger. She’d probably just be sitting with him and Sam at a diner, laughing and talking until they parted, then found their way back to each other’s paths a few weeks later.
This time, Dean didn’t think She’d come back. One way or another, She’d be gone. There was the way that made the pit in his chest turn into a chasm—the way he outright refused to entertain—but there was also the second, slower way. Where She didn’t hate him, and She wasn’t gone, but Dean still lost Her. She left, and he was alone.
Dean wouldn’t allow the first way to happen. Every time Her breathing was too shallow, he’d snap at Sam to hurry up and try to soothe Her until it was even again. He could give CPR, if he had to. He didn’t know how to do CPR—he should probably learn—but he’d seen Sammy do it, and it didn’t look that hard. Dean could sing Stayin’ Alive. He could press his lips to Her’s and give her his fucking lungs out of his chest to fix this. He could peel off his skin and patch it over Her wound if he needed to.
Stab wounds aren’t supposed to be this bad. And Dean had never been stabbed by a demon, but he was pretty sure it wouldn’t be any different. The knife that the son of a bitch had lodged in Her gut hadn’t even been all that special. Just a smooth, iron blade that was knocking Her—Her—down for the count.
She had to hang on. Dean would want it to be for him, but he knew better, so he’d settle for it being for Bobby.
Because Sam finally parked the car in Bobby’s yard, and Bobby was already outside. Hunched on the step, shooting to his feet before the engine was even off.
Dean suddenly felt like he really shouldn’t be touching Her, or holding her tight against his chest, or trying to smell Her like a creep every few minutes. She smelled good. Like wet dirt—but in a sharp, earthy way that mostly made Dean feel comfortable—chlorine, something vanilla that was cheap and strong, and there was the fucking fruit-
Bobby probably wouldn’t care that She smelled like an odd, unplaceable fruit. He also didn’t have to know why She smelled like chlorine. Dean wasn’t looking to get shot and—based on the way Bobby was glowering at him through the window—explaining what they’d been doing last night didn’t feel like it would be welcome information.
Because Bobby had never looked at him like that. Really fucking angry, with a drawn brow and deep scowl. Dean couldn’t tell if the glare was at him, or for Her, but he knew Bobby was pissed. If his expression wasn’t a give away, the gruff, low tone of his voice was.
Dean was barely out of the car—Her body cradled carefully in his arms, an apologetic grimace already on his face—when Bobby started snapping.
“Fuckin’- balls- Bring ‘er inside Dean, and Sam, grab the stitch kit. My stitch kit, I don’t wanna be usin’ that fuckin’ weak one in the trunk of your car.”
Sam nodded, walking into the house with a tight, nervous expression at Dean over his shoulder. Dean would’ve shrugged in return, but he didn’t want to shake Her in his arms, or make Bobby think he wasn’t taking this seriously. He was. He couldn’t not, because it was Her. And Her breathing was weak, and Her features were so washed over and Her lips were pale and she kept clinging to Dean’s arm-
“Dean.” Bobby grunted, jerking his head to the door. “Inside, now.”
“Yes, si-“ Dean cut himself off, changing himself to only a nod as he moved her into the house.
It was exactly as he remembered it. Nothing ever really changed at Bobby’s house, and every piece of furniture and color was exactly in place with how it had been in Dean’s head, but there more now.
Things Dean had seen but never really given deeper thought, like a mug that was a soft pastel color in the side-table—slightly stained with coffee, and looking long-empty but never moved—and chapstick near the TV, and-
“That’s her jacket.” Dean said, a little stupidly, and Bobby shot him an odd look.
“What’re you talkin’ about-“
Dean said Her name, nodding to the leather jacket that was hooked over a chair. It was a woman’s jacket, not really Bobby’s style, and Her’s. Dean knew it was Her’s. She about ten different jackets—all in different styles and cuts and materials—but Dean also knew all of them. That was the one She’d been wearing on the onryu hunt, that had ended stained in her own blood and the spirit’s ash. She’d shoved it into her trunk before She left the next day, and told Dean she’d clean it later when he’d offered, because he was pathetic and hadn’t known how to not offer.
He’d asked if She even knew how to clean it. She’d flipped him off, told him She did, and said that she’d do it when She got home.
A small part of Dean had gotten toxic at the idea of Her being home. That maybe She’d just pass the jacket off to a servant she didn’t know the name of—She’d probably have known the name, but it served Dean’s anger better to imagine she was worse than she was—and let them touch a piece of Her instead of Dean.
But She’d been here. Cleaned the jacket here, at Her home.
And there really wasn’t any evidence to prove that She didn’t belong here. So Dean was fucked.
“That’s… It’s her jacket.”
Bobby sighed, rolling his eyes. “Believe it or not, Dean, I’m aware. Put ‘er down on the table.”
Dean nodded, tearing his gaze away from Her jacket and setting her flat on the dining room table. She tried to hold onto him. Dean pulled back, and She tried to hold onto him, and he was going to go insane.
Bobby didn’t wait for Dean to fully step away before he was moving. Adjusting Her on the table so She wasn’t trying to sink into the wood, scanning over her with a tight, unreadable expression.
“Knife got in her gut?”
“Yeah,” Dean muttered, his hands fisting at his side. “Sammy did stitches, but they were quick, and-“
“I’ll fix ‘em.” Bobby grunted, hiking Her shirt up her stomach and-
Fuck.
The wound was worse. The stitches looked frayed in Her body, and her skin was definitely blistering, and there was something yellow and sticky that smelled horrible-
“Dean,” Bobby’s voice was tight, his eyes never leaving the wound. “This ain’t lookin’ like a stab wound-“
“It was, Bobby, I saw it-“
“You still got the weapon?”
Dean nodded, and Bobby let out a long breath.
“Alright, go get it while I deal with ‘er.”
Dean didn’t want to go get the weapon. He didn’t want to leave Her side. She was in pain, and She’d tried to hang onto Dean and he didn’t want to leave Her-
“What’re you just standin’ here for-“
“You can-“ Dean swallowed, his attention trapped on Her dulled, beautiful face. “Bobby, you can fix this, right? She’ll- She’s gonna be okay?”
“She’ll be alright. Gonna have some explain’ to do when she gets up, but she’ll live.”
“Explaining-“
“How the hell she ended up with you boys and a knife in her damn gut. Matter of fact, you and your brother better start gettin’ your story straight, cause I ain’t just gonna let you drop my kid off bleedin’ on my doorstep then drive away.”
Dean tensed, and finally managed to really look at Bobby. His expression was still flat, still neutral, but there was something in his eyes Dean hadn’t seen before. Not glazed, but not sharp, just… heavy. Bobby looked heavy. He was staring at Her body with a painfully neutral face that had slightly lines of tension on the edges. He was standing taller than usual, his whole body rigid and wound up, and Dean could really, truly see it.
It had been the truth. If the way Bobby stood and spoke—in tight, clipped words like he didn’t have room to be anything but short—wasn’t a giveaway, it was those last words.
My kid.
Bobby’s kid.
She was Bobby’s fucking kid.
Dean forced himself to move away, his head ducked down and his steps quick as he passed Sam with only a grunt of acknowledgment and returned to the Impala trunk. Sam hadn’t been careful about how he’d grabbed Her things. They were smushed and scattered, pressed against each other and all looking like Her things. Those were things she owned, that they’d grabbed from Her car and motel room. Clothing that wasn’t covered in blood and dirt, a lot of notebooks Dean really had to fight himself not to read, and fewer personal possessions than he would’ve thought.
There was that small, colorful bag that had all Her girl stuff in it, and Her knife, and a backpack that—when Dean zipped it open—was filled with more notebooks, and… plants and rocks. A lot of plants and rocks.
He didn’t have time to try and work out why the hell She was keeping plants and rocks in her bag. He didn’t have time to overstep and push it like he always did, and let himself comb through those notebooks. One did fall open, but nothing Dean saw in it made sense—he didn’t speak that language, he didn’t even recognize it, and there was a weird drawing that he didn’t even know how to start interpreting—so he had to move on. To grab the demon’s knife from when he’d tucked it in the back and close the trunk, because all of this could wait until She was better.
She’d have to get better.
Sam and Bobby were working in silence when Dean returned. Sam holding Her arms to the side as Bobby cleaned the wound and re-did the stitches, a bottle of water at his side that he kept pouring over her skin.
Dean set the knife on the kitchen counter, walking over to stand by Her head. That little wrinkle was back, and Her lips were pressed together, and She was in pain-
He had to restrain his hands to stop them from moving to touch Her. To sooth the wrinkle and brush sweat and hair from Her face. Sammy wasn’t holding Her right. His grip was too tight, and Her arm didn’t look like it was at a good angle, and Dean could hold Her better-
She took a slow, ragged breath, eyes fluttering, and Bobby glanced up to where Dean was standing over Her.
“You get the knife?”
“On the counter,” Dean muttered. “She’s…”
He trailed off, and Bobby let out a long breath. “She’s alright. Almost done with these, and I’m gonna have to fight with her about restin’ when she gets up, but you get ‘er here quick enough. Nothin’ that can’t be patched up.”
Dean glanced down to the wound, and that seemed true. Bobby’s stitches were cleaner than Sam’s, and the pus was half-gone. He didn’t really know how that was possible. Infections didn’t usually just… vanish. But Bobby splashed more of the water over Her stomach, made another stitch, and Her breathing grew steadier.
There were too many questions. What was with the water. Why had one stab wound managed to infect and maul Her skin like that. How the actual fuck was She Bobby’s kid, and why had Bobby never mentioned Her, and why had She lied about something so dumb, and did Bobby know about Her family? About the shit Dad had found, about Her past, about all those weird episodes and how She always hunted alone, except when She was hinting with Dean-
Dean didn’t think Bobby had known they were hunting together. Which offered another question about why. Why hadn’t She told him. Why did She think Bobby would kill her for this, when it wasn’t Her fault, it was Dean’s.
Bobby might kill him. Dean had never seen Bobby so pissed with him. Every time he grunted for Dean to pass him something, his eyes were harsh and focused. It wasn’t hateful, but it was angry.
But Dean had gotten Her hurt. He deserved it.
If She stopped talking to him after, he’d deserve that too. If Dad snapped at him for being an idiot when Bobby told him they’d been hunting together, Dean would deserve it-
“You say a demon attacked her?” Bobby’s question was quiet, and Dean almost didn’t hear it.
He nodded, and Bobby’s jaw clenched.
“You see the assholes eyes?”
“His eyes?” Sam frowned. “You mean the demon-blink thing? Where their eyes go all black?”
Bobby looked up, frown deepening. “They were black?”
“I- I think so?” Sam looked for Dean for help, and Dean just shrugged. He hadn’t really been looking into the demon’s eyes, more focused on beating the shit out of it, and helping Her.
“I dunno, Sammy-“
“Did you see them?” Bobby interrupted, glaring between Sam and Dean as he cut another stitch. “See the bastard go all black?”
Sam shook his head. “I didn’t, but demons have black eyes-“
“Not all demons.” Bobby muttered, glancing up to Her still pained face. “I’ve seen black eyes, orange eyes, and red eyes. If you boys saw anythin’-“
“We didn’t.” Dean looked over Her, then back to the wound. “It attacked, stabbed her, and Sammy exorcized it. Son of a bitch got away-“
“It give you a name?”
Dean frowned. “We didn’t exactly have time to introduce ourselves and shake hands, Bobby-“
“No, ya’ idjit, if we have a name we can know what we’re lookin’ for.”
“Looking for?” Sam leaned forward, looking between Her and Bobby with a frown. “Has- Have you needed to look for a demon before? Like dad?”
“No, Sam, I ain’t-“ Bobby cut himself off, his head shooting up to glare between Sam and Dean. “Did John know you boys have been huntin’ with her?”
“That’s uh…” Sam cleared his throat. “That’s a question for Dean, I think.”
Bobby raised his brows, and Dean scowled. Sam was back on the getting punched list.
“Never got a chance to mention it.” He muttered. “Haven’t seen Dad in months.”
Sam rolled his eyes—punched and kicked—and Bobby’s shoulders visibly relaxed. Dean wanted to ask what the hell that was about—Dad was a good man, even if Dean never really wanted Her around him—but Bobby was already moving on.
“How long you been huntin’ together?”
“A few years.” Sam said, and Dean shot him a glare.
“How’d- You weren’t even fucking there, Sammy-“
“She told me on the onryu hunt.” Sam shrugged, looking back to Bobby. “They’ve been hunting together for years.”
Bobby’s jaw tightened. “That true, Dean?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Dean, you call me sir again and I’m makin’ you wait outside-“
“Sorry, I-“ Dean let out a long breath, his gaze trapping back on Her. In so much fucking pain. “It’s true. And she, uh, she never mentioned she knew you, Bobby.”
Bobby huffed something that might have been a laugh. “Wish I could say I was surprised by that.”
“You aren’t?” Sam blinked. “I mean, I- I’m still not understanding-
“Questions later, Sam.” Bobby grunted, cutting the last stitch. “Right now I need your hands brinin’ her shit inside.”
Sam frowned. “Can’t Dean-“
“Dean’s stayin’ here.” Bobby shot him a glare, and Dean swallowed. “No fuckin’ funny business while I’m gone, boy-“
“She’s passed out, Bobby-“
“And if she wakes up, you’re askin’ her how she feels, callin’ me, and droppin’ it there.” Bobby’s eyes narrowed. “No fuckin’ interrogations. You can ask me questions when we get ‘er settled. Understood?”
Dean scowled, but nodded, and Bobby let out a long breath.
“Good. Sam-“
“Coming.” Sam threw Dean a what the fuck is happening look over his shoulder, followed Bobby out of the kitchen, and Dean was left alone with Her.
She didn’t wake up. In the long moments where it was only Her and Dean in the whole world once more, She didn’t stir for even a second. Her breathing grew more and more even with every passing moment, but She didn’t open those brilliant eyes and look at Dean.
Dean didn’t know if She would ever really look at him again.
She didn’t hate him.
She’d been keeping secrets—so many fucking secrets—but She didn’t hate Dean, and when he allowed his hand to trace over Her cheekbone, she leaned into the touch.
Maybe She would leaned into anyone’s touch, but she wasn’t. Right now, She was leaning into Dean’s.
He let his hand linger there as long as he could. She was warm, too warm, almost burning, but it was better than Her being cold. Color was returning to Her face, and there was a heavy flush over her pretty cheeks, but it was better than nothing. No color. No slightly uneven breaths or dried sweat on her brow.
Dean finally got to brush the hair away, and he wasn’t sure how She only got prettier. She was pretty in a way Dean never really cared for before her. She looked like a bird. Untouchable and free and delicate. Breakable, but not because She was weak. Because She wasn’t supposed to be on the earth like this, just how Dean wouldn’t be free or light enough to go where she went.
Because even if this was Her life—even if she wasn’t spoiled and born from comfort Dean would never know—he still couldn’t have Her. If anything this just made that more certain. That She was so good and unnaturally better, that She’d been living down in the mud with Dean this whole time and he’d still been blinded. If She ever managed to crawl out of here, She might become ethereal. Glorious. Brighter than the sun and more heavenly than a paradise Dean didn’t believe in.
And if Bobby really raised Her, everything Dean tried to loathe about Her would probably vanish into the air. Bobby was smart. And good. And didn’t like pointless shit, so there was no way he’d let Her become spoiled or entitled. She wasn’t spoiled or entitled.
She was just awesome.
And Dean didn’t know how the hell he was supposed to live with that now. That he’d bitten Her, and the mark was festering in him.
She let out a soft breath when Dean thumb stroked down Her nose, the movement subconscious, almost automatic.
He had to yank his hand away the floor creaked, and Bobby turned the corner only a second later.
They didn’t speak at Bobby hauled Her up and carried Her away. Dean wanted to go with Her. He needed to go with Her. He needed to have Her look at him one last time, and he needed to work out how to apologize in a way that didn’t make him sound like a little bitch, and-
“Dean.” Sam leaned into the kitchen, tilting his head back to the living room. “C’mon, dude, Bobby said we could get three questions.”
“Three?” Dean frowned, glancing past Sam to where they’d vanished up the stairs. “We only get three-“
“Between us.” Sam sighed. “And he, uh, I think he might be pissed at us.”
A door slammed upstairs, and Dean raised his brows. “You think?”
“You two.” Bobby appeared behind Sam—for a fairly big dude, he could move faster than thought he had any real right to—and pointed between them with a glower. “Sit. Now.”
Sam shot Dean a worried look and shuffled to the table, tugging Dean into a seat as Bobby stood before them, arms cross and eyes narrowed.
“What the hell did you idjit’s say to her?”
Sam blinked. “We didn’t- I mean, I didn’t say anything-“
“Hey!” Dean shot him a glare. “Dude, what the hell-“
“I can’t speak for you, Dean! I mean, you guys are a lot closer-“
Bobby’s glare turned to Dean—the feeling of it searing through his skin—and Sam was now getting punched, kicked, and body slammed.
“Sammy.” He hissed, bracing a fist on the table. “Shut your fuckin’ face-“
“How close would you say you two are, Dean?”
Bobby’s question didn’t need to have that silent, underlying threat for Dean to flinch. It was already a question he didn’t know the answer to. She lied and he sucked ass, but She also liked him—enough that he’d been allowed to hunt with Her at all, enough for her to slur it to Sammy in the car—and he couldn’t stop thinking about Her if he tired.
And he had tried.
And he’d never really seen Her interact with people except for Sam and Dad. And She and Dad clashed, but She and Sam got along, and Bobby obviously cared for her so maybe her liking Dean wasn’t all that special-
“Dean.” Bobby snapped. “Answer my question.”
“I, uh, I don’t-“
“Sam?”
“They’re just friends.” Sam shrugged, saying Her name in a voice that wasn’t nearly reverent enough. “From the hunting.”
Sam was back down to being kicked and punched, because the little shit could’ve easily laughed and said that Dean had a crush on Her—he didn’t, She was just his best friend and the only person he liked to hang out with—but that would’ve probably made everything worse. Especially given Bobby didn’t seem all that happy with the just friends answer either.
“How many years you two been huntin’, exactly
“Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s been like two- But that,” Dean pointed up the stairs. “Hasn’t happened before, Bobby, I swear-“
“I don’t give a shit about that.” Bobby snapped, jerking his head back. “You boys did the smart thing, for once in your damn lives, and listened to her. Brought her here.”
“If you don’t-“ Sam frowned, his face returned to pure confusion. “If you don’t care that she got stabbed-“
“No, Sam, I care that she got stabbed.” Bobby let out a long, breath, shaking his head. “I don’t give a shit that it happened with you two. If she’s gotta get stabbed, I’m happy she ain’t alone to try and stitch herself up, cause that girl ain’t good at takin’ care of herself in way that matters.”
It was Dean turn to frown, sitting a little straighter in his chair. “What do you mean, she can take care of herself-“
Bobby scoffed. “She can do her hair, Dean. She ain’t gonna do stitches.”
Sam’s eyes widened. “Has she never done stitches on herself?”
“Not good ones-“ Bobby cut himself off with a glare between them. “This ain’t the point. What’d you do, Dean.”
Bobby and Sam were both looking at Dean, and he groaned.
“I didn’t do anything, Bobby, and if you’re not pissed about her getting hurt-“
“Some injuries ain’t on the surface, boy. I could give a flyin’ fuck about what danger she puts herself in, I know she can handle it better than you two dumbasses, but if you hurt that girl, I ain’t gonna stop her hurtin’ you.” Bobby sighed, running a hand over his face, and Sam cleared his throat.
“Bobby, how, um-“ He glanced to Dean, expression nervous. “You said she’s- I still don’t understand-“
“Sam, if you got somethin’ to say-“
“How do you know her?” Sam’s words were quick and frantic. “That’s- you said we get three questions, and that’s our first.”
They hadn’t actually discussed the questions, but Dean could live with that one. Shit, he’d spent the whole day trying to work that one out himself, and Bobby seemed to know it had been coming, because he dropped in a seat across the table with a long sigh.
“It ain’t my place to tell you everythin’,” he muttered. “All I can tell you two is that I met her when she was a kid-“
Sam opened his mouth, and promptly shut it as Bobby shot him a glare.
“You ask that question, Sam, I’m countin’ it. She was eight, I found her wanderin’, I took her in. Kept her from killing herself, raised her like the daughter I didn’t get before. Which,” Bobby turned to Dean, and it wasn’t fair that he was being singled out. Sammy was here too, hell, he’d asked the question- “She may not be my blood, but she’s the closest thing I got. Understood?”
Sam mumbled an agreement, but those words weren’t for Sam.
So Dean nodded, and hoped Bobby could see all over his face that he really just wanted to go upstairs and check on her. He’d do that after, if he could get away with it. And She was probably fine—Bobby wouldn’t have left her if she wasn’t—but Dean needed to see it. With his own freakin’ eyes, making sure she was comfortable, and relaxed, and peacefully asleep-
“What’s up with those, uh- the-“ Sam swallowed. “Those weird episodes?”
Bobby’s eyes narrowed. “Episodes?”
“When she likes, freaks out and shit. I mean, is it like a really bad panic attack?”
Sam was back to getting punched, kicked, and body slammed. That wasn’t their thing to tell Bobby about. Bobby might know more about Her past, but he obviously hadn’t known that they’d been hunting together, which meant there might be other shit She didn’t want to tell him. Other shit She’d trusted them—trusted Dean—to see, that Sam had just fucking told Bobby-
“Those aren’t panic attacks.”
Sam frowned. “Then what-“
“Not my place.” Bobby said, his tone making it clear that was final. “I know what they are, so does she, and if- It’s up to her what you know. She’ll tell you if she wants, but she’s had a rough time, Sam. So don’t go pushin’ her about it.”
Sam nodded, even as the nervous expression remained on his face, and Dean cleared his throat. He had to ask. Even if all he got from Bobby was a not my place, Dean just needed to spit it out and ask.
“Why’d you… I mean, how did we never know, Bobby?” Dean held Bobby’s gaze, every word slow and careful. “You said she was eight, Sammy would’ve been seven, so we knew you by then. Shit, we were here all the time but never even heard her name. I don’t- Why?”
Bobby let out a long breath, shaking his head slowly. “It’s complicated.”
Dean scowled. He was really starting to fucking hate that word.
“But,” Bobby pushed on, giving Dean a firm, solemn look. “I wasn’t ‘cause of you boys. I said it already, I ain’t gonna tell you what’s not mine to tell, but I never liked keepin’ you apart.”
“But you did.” Dean grunted, and Bobby sighed.
“Yeah, I did. And I’m not gonna tell you I had reasons, cause that’s fuckin’ bullshit help and we know it, but I will say it was all I could do. Not for the best, but the only damn option.”
Dean was pretty sure he was telling the truth. It wasn’t the same alarm he’d learned to set off with her, but it was close. That seemed to be the truth.
Dean wished it wasn’t.
“She said she was sick.” Sam muttered. “When she was a kid. And that’s why we couldn’t know each other.”
Bobby let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “Course she did. Sick is one way of puttin’ it. I-“ Bobby looked between Sam and Dean, something weighted behind his eyes. “There were times when she could’ve used you two. Glad she seems to have you now. And I don’t know where your Daddy is, but-“
“He’s hunting a demon.” Sam said, and Dean was out of ways to kick his ass for saying stuff. “The one that killed our mom.”
Bobby’s eyes widened, and the conversation moved on. Bobby asked if She and Dad had crossed paths, Dean told him not for years, and Bobby and Sam started to talk demon. Bobby had books Sam could read. Sam had questions about what Bobby had run into, with his own wife.
She’d told Dean Her dad’s wife died.
Fucking hell.
Eventually, Bobby went out. They’d stayed at the table as Sam and Bobby descended into nerd talk—mostly just Sammy being a little dweeb, Bobby was just smart—and Dean had spent the hours stealing glances up the stairs and wondering how he could get up there. How he could see Her, check on her, without Bobby getting on his ass and shouting about Dean being careful with Her, because he always was-
Except when he wasn’t. Expect when he poison and ruined and wrecked Her in a way he’d never wanted to. When he made Her sad or hollow, put Her in danger, showed her exactly why Dad had been right, that they shouldn’t be close to each other.
Dad had just gotten the wrong reason. Dean shouldn’t be near Her. She was annoying, and stubborn, and reckless, and a know-it-all, and kinda mean, but in a hot way. She was bossy, but it was adorable. She’d snap and taunt Dean, but she never did it in a way that left a mark. Dean always left a mark. And invisible bruise or scar that Bobby must have seen somehow. It must have been why he was so automatically pissed, why he’d accused Dean of hurting Her.
And he had.
So he didn’t deserve to go up those stairs and see Her.
But he was still selfish. And he still didn’t know when to stop.
Bobby muttered that he was going off to get food. The he hadn’t been expecting Her back for a while, let alone Sam and Dean with her, so all he had was canned food that tasted like pig-shit and a half-eaten chocolate cake in the fridge.
Sam grabbed the tiniest, most bitch-baby piece of chocolate cake with a mutter of long week, and moved to settle in library.
Dean started to snoop.
It was so plainly obvious She belonged here. Just like with Her mannerisms—seeing Bobby all over them once Dean squinted—all it took was one quick scan of the kitchen to see more places She’d probably been before. Not just grenadine, but a box of cheesy kids snacks in the back of the pantry. Dean had always assumed Bobby had gotten them for him and Sammy, then never thrown them out. But he’d seen Her buy those exact snacks countless times, and a few of the boxes looked practically unopened.
In the living room there were all those books and movies, and a blanket that was far too fuzzy for Bobby to like. A pair of women’s sneakers and boots near the door. A glittery toothbrush on the bathroom sink, some of that sugar-smelling shit Dean knew she used under the skin, and fancy shampoo in the cabinets.
Dean had seen some of this stuff before, but he’d always assumed Bobby just had a lady-friend. A weird, sparkly lady friend who wrote notes on the margins of some of the lore books in that same language from before. From Her notebook. In Her handwriting.
Lady friends didn’t use a towel—carefully tucked and folded in a closet—that had a little princess stitched onto the corner. Lady friends didn’t watching animated children’s movies so much that, when Dean open the case, the tape looked well-worn and used.
And lady friends didn’t draw with crayon.
But in Dean’s defense, he’d never seen the drawings before. That was part of the snooping. Shifting casually through Bobby’s desk for more evidence, and coming out clutching old, well-worn drawings of colors. A lot of colors. Most of the drawings seemed to be odd shapes and patterns, all in bright colors.
There were a few more, where the drawings were red and black and yellow, with sharp lines and jagged symbols that resembled Her strange writing. Those symbols were repetitive.
Briefly, Dean had an image in his head of a smaller Her, holding a crayon and sitting on the floor of Bobby’s living room, scrawling those symbols over and over until Bobby took the paper from Her. She had braids in that vision. Oddly complex braids that Her small, swollen fingers couldn’t have done.
But Bobby could’ve. And now Dean could see that same small version of Her on the couch, humming to herself as she read a book that looked far too big in tiny hands, while Bobby braided her hair with a scowl.
Dean blinked, and returned the papers back to the drawer. He was about to close it when something shifted in the very back, and a last drawing caught his eye.
It had been separated from the others, and drawn on black construction paper. Tucked into a book and folded carefully. And it was the only one where Dean could tell what the hell it was.
A stick drawing—round body and tiny arms and legs—of a man with a thick blue line on his head and scratches of brown on his face, holding the hand of a girl. Same eyes and hair as Her.
She’d drawn this one too. Of Her and Bobby.
She’d used a light green for Bobby’s skin, though. And a metallic silver for Her own. And the grass was golden and the clouds were red and the sun was white. It was really fucking weird.
Dean chalked it up to the creative liberties of an eight-year-old, and carefully returned the drawing to its place before sneaking up the stairs.
He needed to see Her.
It took him a minute to find Her room, because up until yesterday, he’d thought he knew all the rooms in Bobby’s house. Kitchen, library, living room, bathrooms, and guest rooms. The only room he’d never been in was on the third floor, because Bobby said that room was off limits, and-
Son of a bitch.
He’d always assumed that was Bobby’s room. That Bobby just didn’t want to little boys snooping around and finding his private shit. Dean had imagined that the room would have a wooden-poster bed, dresser, chairs, and simple decorations. Not all that lived in, because Bobby was practical, and knew that in this life getting attached to a lot of personal possessions was pointless.
This room was lived in.
By Her.
Those were books Dean had seen Her grab from public libraries, or exact copies that She’d pulled from her bag. CDs of albums he’d known She liked, plus a few he hadn’t. A few Dean liked, scattered on the dresser next to a book he’d seen Her read, sunglasses he’d seen Her use, and a shirt that he’d never seen Her wear.
It was monotone black, and not Her style or size, and looked like a men’s shirt.
The was a bitter, hot pang in Dean’s intestine and along his heart chamber, because why would She have a men’s shirt. If the overflowing dresser was any indication, She certainly didn’t need more shirts, and it certainly wasn’t Bobby’s, so it all together meant that was the shirt of someone who had given it to her. And she’d kept it, because it looked clean, and Bobby had said he hadn’t expected her back, so it had been there for a while, and who the fuck was giving Her a shirt-
She shifted on the bed, and Dean’s head turned without his permission to look at Her. He’d been trying not to. Gun pressed to his temple, he’d swear he’d tried so fucking hard not to watch Her sleep like a pervert creep. But Her siren-like voice made a small sound, and this room was drowning in that fruit smell, and Dean couldn’t fucking help himself.
It took him a second to find Her. She’d burrowed herself under the covers, the only parts of Her that were visible being a single hand falling over the mattress and Her gorgeous face smushed against the pillows.
Her bed was shockingly normal. This whole bedroom was shockingly normal. She had curtains and a nice carpet, a desk and chair, a large amount of blankets and a hamper and a cork board on the wall. Pinned with notes that were in English—Dean could read those, and they mostly seemed to list new monsters and reminders for hunts—and a few more in that odd language. The walls were painted a dark color, and it made the room feel smaller. Safer. Like this was the only place in the world.
It might as well be.
Dean dragged a chair to sit at the side of the bed, because that felt less creepy than standing over Her as she slept. For a long while he only watched Her sleep peacefully. Softly.
Then Her brow wrinkled, and Dean’s hand moved without thought. Petting over Her nose until she relaxed, and made a soft noise that kicked him right in the heart and reverberated over his ribs.
He let out a long breath, and started speaking in his lowest, quietest voice. Before he could think better.
“You… you got a lot of explaining to do, Princess.” He muttered. “Bobby handled some of it, but he also won’t tell Sammy and I jackshit that matters until you give the go ahead. So you gotta wake up and do that. Plus, I want to call you a fucking idiot for hiding something so freakin’ dumb from me, and I can’t do that while you’re knocked out. So… Wake up. Soon. Get better and wake up soon and I’ll be waiting, because I- I’m just gonna stay a while. ‘Least until you give me some god damn answers. And,” he let out a long breath. She couldn’t hear him. He was allowed to say it, when no one at all could hear him. “I don’t want to leave. I like you, Princess, and if you really don’t hate me, I’ll stick around.”
He had more to say.
But She hummed like she could hear him, rolled a little closer to the edge of the bed, and none of it really seemed that important anymore.
Her fingers flexed. She didn’t hate him.
Dean took Her hand, and he fell asleep at Her side because he never learned, and really didn’t want to.
And when Sammy woke him up, saying Dad needed them for something back in Colorado. That he’d called Dean but he hadn’t picked up—his phone was in his jacket downstairs—so he’d called Sam instead.
Sam had said they were on their way, and told Bobby they were heading out. That they’d let Bobby know how it went, and hopefully be back with good news about the son of a bitch who killed Mom rotting in whatever was lower than hell. Sam hadn’t mentioned Her.
And Dean had to go, but She was still asleep. He needed to go, because Dad wanted him there, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay here, in Her small room that was he could sink down into if he tried.
But he had to go.
He wanted to leave Her something. To promise in silent words that could be right to not hate him. That he’d really like Her to keep not hating him. But he didn’t have much. He had his car, and his jacket, and ring-
He set his ring on Her dresser. He’d come back. He didn’t know how not to come back, and hopefully when he did, She’d still like him. At the very least, She wouldn’t have started to hate him.
Because Dean knew at this point that there was no way in hell She felt the pull. He also knew that he’d still follow Her all the way down, and up, and just here.
Dean might just like being with Her anywhere.
And She didn’t hate him.
So he’d press a soft, dangerous kiss to Her brow because he couldn’t help himself, and look back because he had to, and come back because he wanted to.
He’d come back.
End Note: One of the glorious things about nearing the end of the season 1 arc is all of us knowing what happens at the end of the season 1 arc.
Also, as we hit 100k words, I'm unspeakably grateful for the support of the story!!! I can't say it enough, thank you so so much for reading!! I hope y'all continue to enjoy the story!
Thank you so so so much for reading!! If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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Familiar Faces
Request: Yes or No
Summary: When his afternoon takes an unusual shift, (Y/N) reacquaints himself with his neighbor and an old classmate.
Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader
CW/TW: Typical Twilight warnings, mentions of emotionally and physically absent parents, not much tbh
I decided to give the book another chance! divider by thecutestgrotto
~~~
"Move your ass or I'm going to dump all your makeup in a pot of boiling water, Abby!"
He waited a moment, then felt a surge of satisfaction when the shuffling upstairs became a hurried thumping of footsteps, quickening their pace in fleeting worry of the threat. (Y/N) waited at the base of the stairs, his arms crossed over his chest and foot tapping impatiently against the old wooden floorboard beneath him. It was an empty threat, of course; he'd never let money go to waste.
His precious little sister was no longer the toddler who wept until he bundled her into his arms or the little girl who clung to his pant legs while suckling on her thumb until it turned bright red. She'd reached the tiresome age of thirteen, when she still dove toward him for safety during horror movies but stuck her nose up at his help. This was the age when children became teenagers, and their interests faded from dolls and playdates to makeup and hangouts at the mall with friends and potential future partners.
He missed those days. He'd give anything to return to them instead of working at some low-end diner where he served food to truckers, lumberjacks, and fishermen who'd known him his whole life.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Abby appeared on the landing, no longer wearing her strawberry-print pajamas or fuzzy red socks. A small huff left her before she rapidly descended the stairs and hopped down from the last step. The bottom of her low-top black converses landed on the floorboard with a loud and purposeful thump!
He scanned her powdered pink cheeks and the clumpy mascara sticking to her lashes, his arms dropping to retrieve her backpack from the floor. "You look like a clown."
"As if you'd know anything about makeup, asshat." Another thing about reaching thirteen: learning curse words and sounding like someone trying to speak a language they'd never practiced before. His smirk only made her roll her eyes and snatch the backpack from his hands, quiet huffy muttering filling the air.
Living with a preteen girl was certainly something.
Once he slipped on his muddy, worn-out boots (and pointedly ignored Abby's mutters about getting new ones or at least cleaning them), he stepped out onto their wet porch and held the door open for Abby. His eyes tracked her as she made her way down the steps, a quiet hum of disappointment vibrating in his throat when the wet stairs failed to make her slip as they so often did. It was the highlight of his day, and he often took it as a good sign.
Abby glared at him over her shoulder and he quietly snickered, locking up the house and wiggling the doorknob before carefully following her to his car. His head tilted toward their next-door neighbor's house when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. He met Chief Swan's eye across the mini swamp of halfway submerged grass and mud combining their small front yards. Chief Swan raised his arm in greeting and then looked toward the figure standing on his porch, speaking words lost in the distance.
Oh, right. His daughter was back in town. How could he forget when it was the latest buzz?
"Morning, (Y/N), Abigail!" Chief Swan called, and his daughter, Isabella, snapped her head in her father's direction with wide eyes. She looked at him, almost pleadingly, but her father either remained oblivious or purposefully ignored her because he made his way toward them and motioned for her to follow. Her nose crinkled as she trekked through the grass, taking long strides to avoid getting her shoes too muddy and wet. "You remember my daughter, right?"
"Yeah." Vaguely. He recalled 'playdates' when they were younger, the two of them sat side by side with little Jacob Black and his twin sisters on a fishing boat during the summer while their fathers fished and laughed about things their young minds couldn't fully understand. Most of the time, they were forced to 'play' while the adults sat by idly. He offered her a nod and she lifted her fingers off her backpack strap in greeting. "How are you, Isabella?"
"Good." She smiled nervously and visibly swallowed. Definitely not good. "Bella's fine, by the way."
"Bell, remember Abigail?"
At the sound of her name, Abby looked up from her phone and squinted briefly at Bella before one of those polite I-have-no-idea-who-you-are smiles appeared on her face; the types of smiles you wore when a distinctively familiar elderly woman approached you with claims of having once changed your diaper. It was expected given Abby had been a toddler verging on child when the two of them were finally given the option to hang out with the adults or not. Bella held Abby exactly one time back then, and she'd looked as rigid as a statue the entire time.
"Mhm." Bella nodded weakly. "Hi."
"Hi." Abby turned back to her phone, wholly uninterested in catching up with someone she scarcely remembered. Bella looked relieved.
From the depths of his memories, he dragged out an image of Bella from their childhood and compared it to the young girl standing on the line between teenhood and adulthood. She was skinny and soft-looking, her cheeks still round with youthful fat and naturally flushed from the cold damp air but her limbs were long and almost lanky, unlike the small girl he remembered. She'd never been interesting looking with her pale skin, average chestnut brown hair, and normal brown eyes but she was pretty, in a conventionally attractive kind of way.
Awkwardness and tension forced her into a hunch, her head dipped and hands curled around her backpack straps to give an almost boxy look to her figure. Shy as always but perfectly average-looking like everyone else in town, apart from the Cullens, of course. Nothing made her stand out, and he assumed it was something she was relieved by. It was better that way in small towns.
"We should get going." (Y/N) said, tearing his eyes away from Bella who'd also been flickering her eyes between him and his sister, likely updating the images in her head of them like he'd done. He jerked his head in Abby's direction. "I gotta get this one to school."
"Forks Juinor High is on the way to Forks High, isn't it?" Chief Swan questioned as if he didn't have the whole town and each individual street memorized, his blunt nails lightly scraping against the growing stubble along his jaw and cheeks in thought. (Y/N) was fairly certain he could drive around blindfolded and never miss a single turn.
"Dad-"
"Why don't you drop Bella off? The truck's still got a dent from that accident." Chief's Swan voice went up a pitch, containing a certain tone (Y/N) was more than familiar with. It was a scheming type of tone, the type your aunts would have when they were subtly trying to set you up with someone while pretending otherwise.
In a far, distant memory of his childhood, he vaguely recalled Bella's mother once cooing over how 'perfect' and 'meant to be' he and Bella were when they were children. He was fairly certain the only thing they were perfect for was pretending and occasionally helping decorate each other's trees for Christmas.
"Dad." Bella looked positively mortified, so much so the tips of her ears turned a bright red. (Y/N) would've felt bad if it weren't a little amusing. "It's fine, I swear. It's a small dent, it's nothing-"
"Safety first, Bell." Chief Swan lifted his bushy brows at her and placed his hands over his hips in a typical dad pose before he turned back to him. "You don't mind, do you, (Y/N)? It'll give you time to catch up."
"Fine by me." (Y/N) chuckled and Bella's shoulders slumped with defeat. "Hop in, Bella."
The ride to Forks Junior High was mostly silent, apart from the soft sound of the warm air pumping inside and the tapping of Abby's nails against her phone screen. Bella fiddled with the zipper of her backpack and glanced at him occasionally, lips parting as if to say something but chickening out last minute each time. He tried to keep his focus on the road, and then the carpool line, gazing at the school containing an ocean of memories.
"Did you do your Civics homework?" He glanced at Abby in the rearview mirror, catching the way her lips pursed and a second of panic flashed over her face. He shook his head as the car slowed to a stop, listening to the soft click of the doors unlocking. "Finish it before class, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah." Abby slung her backpack over her shoulder and pushed the door open, hopping out of the car and slamming it behind her. A second later, she opened it again to call out a quick 'love you!' before she shut it and hurried off to group up with her circle of friends.
They greeted each other enthusiastically, hugs going all around before they huddled together, likely to gossip or gush over some dumb boy they'd forget about by the time the winter formal strolled around. He assumed half her friends would take up cheerleading in high school, not that Forks had much to cheer on with their mediocre school teams. (Y/N) already predicted Abby would follow suit and take on being a cheerleader just to have something in common with them.
Bella chewed on her bottom lip and watched the middle school pass on by, the view replaced by a long expanse of towering trees. "She's taller than I expected. What is she, fourteen?" She turned to look at him, her toothless smile telling him she was simply trying to break the silence before it could grow unbearably uncomfortable.
"Thirteen." He corrected with a heavy sigh. The word weighed heavy on his tongue. Thirteen would become fourteen and fourteen would become sixteen and soon he'd have a high school senior searching for colleges on his hands threatening to take his little firecracker away from him. "She's doing better than I was in middle school."
Bella laughed softly at that and the gripping tension in her shoulders disappeared. Her body slouched more comfortably against the car seat and her fidgeting fingers smoothed out along her backpack, the smile on her face turning into a more genuine one. "Charlie says you graduated last year. What are you still doing here?" Her head lolled back against the headrest, dark eyes watching him with soft interest.
"Mom works long hours at the hospital and Dad's always on the road. Someone has to keep an eye on Abby." (Y/N) shrugged casually despite the pinch of bitterness in his gut.
It'd been an option, his mother had insisted a few weeks before he was supposed to walk across the stage and grab his diploma, to teach Abby some of the basics so she could cook herself some meals. He hardly found it fair for her to be forced to basically live alone in a two-story house with no one else to tend to her apart from the rare times their mother had days off, but she usually spent those downing whatever liquor they had and sleeping the day away to actually count as time off work.
"Do.. do you wish it was different?" Bella asked tentatively and she pushed herself to sit up straighter when the tall brick buildings of Forks High peeked over the treeline. She zipped up her crinkling coat and adjusted her backpack so one strap was snug over her shoulder and halfway resting on her thigh.
"Sometimes." He nodded and felt a wave of deja vu wash over him when he pulled into the parking lot of the school. Four years of familiarizing himself with the route, three years of actually driving it and obtaining a parking spot most of his former classmates associated with him.
(Y/N) carefully drove through the parking lot, occasionally coming to a full stop to allow groups of students to hurry on by, and he almost immediately found his eye drawn to the shiny volvo just a parking spot ahead. The Cullens were gathered around, having just arrived from the looks of it; their car doors were still open, and the big bulky guy he always considered linebacker material was retrieving his backpack from the floor of the back seat.
(Y/N) wasn't familiar with the Cullens. The five of them had enrolled during his junior year and while they'd captivated his attention, he'd never been one for gossip. The boyish one with bronze waves and an air of grumpy indifference otherwise known as Edward secured himself a spot in an AP History class with (Y/N) during his senior year, but the singular time they'd interacted was when Edward had been chosen to hand out a paper for an essay.
That was about as much interaction as he had with the startling beautiful family, though (when she was coherent and conscious) his mother blabbered about how handsome and kind their father, Dr. Cullen, was. He made it a point to stay away from the hospital so he took her word for it.
"Should I drop you off with your friends?" He questioned, scanning the student body shuffling through campus or taking time to squeeze whatever water they could from their pant legs.
"Uh," Bella's eyes briefly flickered to a small group huddled together consisting of two brunettes, a blond jock, and a shorter guy who appeared deep into a debate nobody was particularly paying close attention to. She cleared her throat and shook her head, even ducking her head slightly when the car passed by them. "No, you can, uhm... you can drop me off by the curb. It's fine."
Carefully maneuvering on the slick road, he stopped by the sidewalk leading up to the building and watched her fumble with the seatbelt, attempting to be quick but it effectively got her nowhere. A quiet, rushed apology tumbled from her lips before she pushed the door and stumbled out, nearly tripping on the curb but catching herself in time. Jesus, this girl. It was a miracle she didn't land herself in the hospital every week.
She ducked her head to smile at him, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Thanks for the ride. I'll see you later at pick-up?"
"Yep." She was like a deer- or a fawn, actually. Trembling legs and survival instincts that'd yet to kick in.
"Great, bye!"
Bella moved to shut the door only to catch it before it could shut properly. Her body stiffened and she held it for a brief second, as if her mind caught up to what her body had done, before she opened it again and ducked down to smile sheepishly at him. She hooked her finger around a strand that slipped over her face and her eyes flickered around the interior of his car nervously.
"I.. I was wondering if you wanted to come to Seattle a week from Saturday with me- if you can, of course. I want to stop by and grab a few books, and maybe some clothes." Bella explained, shifting her weight from foot to foot as the consequence of her uncomfortable position settled onto her back. She then rushed out, "It's okay if you can't. I just thought it'd be nice to go with someone."
"Sure, sounds good." He nodded, and she visibly relaxed once more. "I don't mind."
"Cool." She nodded too and remained still as her mouth pressed into an awkward line. "Okay, uhm.. bye, again."
This time she let the door close completely and he chuckled under his breath, watching her quickly make her way toward the building to get out of the light drizzle right as Edward Cullen caught up with her. He arched a surprised brow at the sight of them together but from the irritated way Bella looked at him, he assumed they were far from friends. Edward looked amused, though. He spared a glance over his shoulder at (Y/N) and- much to his surprise, again- he raised his hand to give a small wave.
Did he remember him from History class? Maybe.. no, definitely. Why else would he wave to a complete stranger? Clearing his throat, (Y/N) waved back, which seemed to please the usually scowling boy. Edward turned back to Bella and spoke to her, prompting a flustered scowl and a peek over her shoulder at him.
(Y/N) tore his eyes off the two and stepped on the gas, carefully avoiding getting caught in any iced-over parts and dragging a poor student along with him before he drove back onto the road.
The diner he worked at, like most places in Forks, was just off the interstate and separated from other buildings by short expanses of woods on three sides. The neon lights that once shone vibrantly had dulled into a lime green color that read Milton's Diner during the daylight and Din in sparse flickers during nighttime, hardly inviting but it still had its fair share of loyal customers shuffling in and out throughout the week. It was a small, shabby, diner run by the same family throughout the decades.
It was there before him and it'd probably be there long after he perished.
Like a switch was flipped in his head, (Y/N) settled into work mode the second he stepped inside and found his nose assaulted with the smell of brewing coffee and cooking oil. He felt as if he'd stepped out of his body and left it to run on autopilot while he took orders, answered questions, laughed at jokes he'd heard a million times over, and balanced hot plates on his arms until the rush of morning slowed into the even pace of the afternoon.
He always knew he wasn't destined for much outside of Forks, or the dingy diner he worked at.
A certain hope lingered with him through his high school years, one that told him he could make it out of his small town and make something of himself, but that'd been promptly crushed under the heel of parents who'd had no business having a second child when they barely tended to their first. He wanted to hate them, to scream at them each time he saw them, but when he took in the exhaustion they wore like second skin, he always thought twice about it.
The soft ding of the bell brought him back from his daily pity party and he pushed himself off the wall, already deducing the only other waiter working was on her tenth smoke break despite having only clocked in an hour prior. He reached into his apron and tugged out his notepad and pen, the greeting automatically rolling off his tongue before he even looked up.
Bella stared at him in alarm, already halfway into one of the booths. Edward looked overly amused.
(Y/N) was no stranger to ditching class or recognizing former classmates on impromptu dates but he never expected Isabella Swan would be the type to do either of those things. Her face flushed in that familiar shade of red and she glared accusingly at Edward, her body lightly thumping against the cushion of the booth when she sat.
He tilted his head toward the old and chipped grandfather clock pressed against the wall by the counter. "Shouldn't you be in school?" He questioned them, pointing his gaze at Bella because he knew what her father would think about it. He had little idea what rules Dr. Cullen imposed on his adopted kids.
"I-"
"Bella fainted," Edward stated, grinning when Bella glared at him again before he continued. "She wasn't feeling well so I offered to drive her home."
"And you came here instead?"
"And we came here instead." Edward nodded, almost as if he were a regular customer and not someone who looked like he belonged at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
Edward picked up the flappy and likely sticky menu to study it, his eyes flickering over it too quickly for someone who was actually taking time to look at the options before he set it back down and peered up at him.
His eyes were an interesting shade of golden brown, which was odd considering (Y/N) recalled them being a whole lot darker the last time he saw him up close. He still looked other-worldly, like a model in a magazine whose face had been photoshopped to rid it of any imperfections, yet the area below his eyes was a darker shade as if he wasn't getting enough sleep. Strange for a kid who likely slept on the most expensive mattress and nicest of sheets.
"I'll get a black coffee."
"I thought you were hungry," Bella said under her breath, hands roughly tugging at the sleeves of her wet jacket until it was snugly set beside her and draped over her backpack.
Edward barely glanced at the menu. "And fries."
By the time (Y/N) turned around toward the counter, Dolores had returned to her spot behind it and set a cup of steaming black coffee for him to retrieve before turning to shout the simple order into the kitchen in her nasally voice. He shot her a thankful smile and she nodded in return with her usual blank expression, her attention more focused on squinting at Edward before looking away to read the newspaper she'd abandoned in favor of smoking.
Gingerly setting the coffee down in front of Edward, he looked to Bella but she shook her head dismissively. He gave a quiet hum of acknowledgment and tucked his notepad away, sparing the two another look before spinning on his heels and retreating to his corner while he waited for the fries. He tried not to watch them but they were virtually the only people in the diner, apart from an old man at the end of the counter who was blatantly dozing off over his half-eaten burger.
Bella and Edward had a hushed conversation, one that seemed to amplify her irritation and his amusement. Every so often, her shoulders would slump and her features would relax, and occasionally his expression would tighten with seriousness before melting back into that casual, nearly teasing smile.
They were a strange duo but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Bella was so... Bella and Edward was the quietest of his siblings, perhaps even the normal one of the bunch.
The rattle and thump of the fries took his attention off the two and he slinked up to the counter right as Dolores plopped the basket onto the counter without looking up from her newspaper. He picked it up and took a few steps toward their booth, the smell of the warm fries tantalizing to his senses and he reluctantly parted ways with it. Before he could turn, Edward caught his eye.
"Sit with us." He said, and he added another layer of absurdity by scooting further into the corner and patting the spot beside him.
Did Edward Cullen believe they were... friends? He frantically thought back to his high school years post-Cullens but he only managed to recall the one singular interaction where he'd only muttered a quiet thanks and the few times he'd pass him or one of his siblings in the hallways. Maybe he thought there was mutual respect. Maybe he was thankful (Y/N) hadn't spent his time gawking at him and his family like everyone else.
"I'm working." He mumbled.
Edward surveyed the diner and then quirked a brow at him as if to say 'Seriously? That's your excuse?' so (Y/N) reluctantly slid into the booth beside him. Bella's eyes flickered between them, more perplexed than surprised, but she made no comment about it and instead fished out a fry to nibble on. Edward propped his head on his fist and kept his other hand spread over his thigh, at no point making any move to drink his coffee.
(Y/N) waited for a minute of silence and no movement to pass before he reached out to grab the coffee and some sugar packets from the little tray pressed against the wall. Edward only smiled and watched, a light laugh vibrating in his chest when (Y/N) sipped on it and immediately crinkled his nose.
"Edward is insistent on joining us on our trip to Seattle. I hope that's okay?" Bella's brows lifted in a pleading kind of way, her puckered lips and the way she glanced at Edward telling him she definitely tried diverting the subject but ended up giving in.
"You two can go." He spoke in a tone he hoped reassured her he wasn't mad about it. He wondered how much Charlie knew about the trip. Would he have to cover for her?
"No," Edward shook his head and one of his wavy strands fell over his forehead. "The three of us will go. We'll take my car."
Who was he to argue with a Cullen and deny himself a taste of their fancy lifestyle?
"How long have you been working here?" Bella asked, her chin tilted up and eyes roving over the random posters, license plates, signs, and animal head mounts scattered across the walls.
If she was looking for an aesthetic, she wasn't going to find one. The decorations had a habit of suddenly appearing with little to no explanation, and they didn't pay (Y/N) to question their choice of interior design. He could, however, do without a mounted deer staring at him while he worked.
"A while." (Y/N) answered, regretfully taking another sip of the coffee out of habit. Edward laughed again and attempted to muffle it by pressing his mouth into his knuckles when (Y/N) glanced at him. "Mom's work pays for most of the bills but I have to pay for my car, groceries, anything Abby needs or wants. I started working so I wouldn't have to bother her all the time."
"She's your mom," Edward said suddenly, his brows furrowing. "It shouldn't bother her."
"She works long hours." (Y/N) shrugged but Edward still looked unconvinced. Annoyed, even.
Bella hummed. "And your dad? Is he still driving trucks?"
His lips pursed. "I think. I haven't seen him around for a while but he sends money sometimes so he's still alive... somewhere. Sometimes I think he has a new family somewhere else."
Silence fell over the table, as it usually did when (Y/N) revealed his family wasn't exactly the white picket fence type. Bella looked sympathetic, but (Y/N) knew she was familiar with the struggle of having a somewhat incompetent parent and a borderline absent one, even though it'd been her choice to spend more time with Renée. Edward, on the other hand, looked furious with his deep frown and knitted brows that formed creases in his otherwise smooth skin.
"So, uh," (Y/N) cleared his throat, eager for a subject change away from him and his family. "How'd you two meet?"
"Biology," Bella answered yet her eyes were more focused on studying Edward. "We- We sit next to each other."
(Y/N) tried to ignore Edward staring a hole into the side of his head. He was sort of.. weird. "Ah... well, we had History together last year. I don't remember where we sa-"
"I sat on the row directly behind you." Edward interrupted, his voice quiet yet naturally attention-grabbing.
"There wasn't a sitting chart but you sat in the same spot by the window the whole year and you spent half of the class each day staring out of it at the forest but you always got good grades. Kayla Patton and Chloe Asaka were the ones who sat next to you most often; Kayla because she had a crush on you and Chloe because she's known you since middle school and you had another class together. You were one of Mr. Wallace's favorites and you were always in class earlier than everyone talking to him even though everyone hates him because he's strict."
(Y/N) could only stare at the bronze-haired boy beside him in startled silence. He'd forgotten about Kayla Patton entirely, let alone even realized Edward Cullen had spent the entire year faithfully sitting behind him. The amount of conversations he must've overheard, the amount of habits he must've picked up on. He felt a hint of fleeting guilt for not having taken note of the Cullen earlier.
"History couldn't have been that boring." He exhaled, suddenly feeling wildly shy.
He always considered himself more of a passerby, someone who blended into the background and went unnoticed by strangers. People recognized him, it was a given in a small town, but it was never the kind of attention that implied they were looking or waiting for him because they wanted to be in his presence. Yet, perhaps the most wanted boy in school, had paid him attention. Had he worried each time (Y/N) called out sick? Was he relieved each time he appeared the following day?
"It wasn't." Edward agreed, the anger replaced with soft amusement. The gentleness on his face was almost tender, like the way Chief Swan used to gaze at Renée before their divorce. "You were just more interesting."
Edward was full of surprises, and (Y/N) had never been a big fan of them. Heat licked up the back of his neck and bit at his cheeks, ones that were already warm from the smoke slipping out from the kitchen. He looked away from Edward with a quiet noise and when the Cullen chuckled, low and husky and vaguely flustered, (Y/N)'s heart undoubtedly skipped a beat.
Ah, shit. He'd been hoping he was immune to the untouchable Cullens.
No matter what he did, he couldn't get Edward and his stupid words out of his head. He'd forgotten how irritating and distracting crushes were- ugh God, was it really a crush?
Edward was undeniably attractive, he recognized it the second he and his siblings became the talk of the town, but he'd never actually been attracted to him. He'd had always been Edward Cullen, the guy whose model-like siblings were dating each other and nobody truly cared because they 'weren't actually related'. But now, each time he closed his eyes, Edward's pretty honey eyes flashed in his head, crinkled with warmth and humor.
He was hyper-aware of himself now too, and when he usually tossed on whatever was in reach, he took a moment to think about his clothes before realization slammed into him each time.
He wanted to strangle Edward, or better yet, run him over until his pretty face remained permanently disfigured and he had to remain on permanent bed rest so (Y/N) would never have to lay eyes on him again.
Maybe he wasn't the best at processing his emotions...
(Y/N) swirled around the soggy cereal in his bowl and watched the remaining Cheerios swim along the milk, waiting to be eaten or dumped down the drain. Abby, thankfully, hadn't caught on yet to his predicament and he wanted to keep it that way. (Y/N) (L/N) had better and more important things to fret over than some stupid guy.
His head lifted when he heard two soft knocks on the door, and he waited until he heard another before scooping the bowl into his hand and chugging half of the remaining milk. The bowl clattered softly when he placed it into the sink and he wiped at his mouth, mentally flickering back through the checklist he'd made for Abby when she told him of sleeping over at her friend's place. Instead of seeing his sister standing on the porch, he saw their neighbor.
"Bella," He greeted and he looked her over, unconsciously searching for an injury or anything that could explain her sudden appearance. It was a Saturday but Charlie was working and he guessed it was easier to cross the yard than search the town for her father if she needed help. Bella looked unnaturally frustrated.
"Can I.. talk to you about something?" She asked, fiddling with the sleeves of her rain jacket.
He frowned. "Of course."
With Abby having a sleepover at her friend's house and their mother essentially living at the hospital, the house was silent. Bella reacquainted herself with the interior, gazing over dusty picture frames and running her finger along the old railing as they made their way up into his bedroom. He couldn't recall the last time he'd had someone over who wasn't Abby's friend.
"You okay?" He asked and took a seat on the edge of the bed, head raised to observe her fully. Bella rocked back and forth on her feet and chewed on her bottom lip, her anxiety making him anxious. "Bella-"
"This is going to sound crazy.. but hear me out." She began, not the start he wanted to hear but he nonetheless nodded for her to continue with furrowed brows. "I bumped into Jacob at the bonfire Mike invited me to yesterday night and he mentioned some things that had me thinking about the Cullens."
"The Cullens?" He repeated, his confusion heightening as Bella began to pace his room, her fingers now toying with the ends of her hair.
"The tribe has stories about these 'people' they call the Cold Ones. Have.. have you ever noticed how Edward's eyes sometimes change color? From black to gold? Or how they're strangely pale and have this almost inhuman beauty? And when I had my accident, Edward was nowhere near me yet he managed to be at my side in seconds and left a dent in Tyler's van with his hands."
"Okay." (Y/N) said long and slow as he attempted to piece the puzzle she was spewing together. "What exactly are you saying?"
"I think- I think Edward and his family are vampires, (Y/N)."
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