#fuzzma’am

[sleepyseraph]

If you were an atheist and there was a Christian baby who would get you into heaven but you have to then admit heaven was real and be a Christian or you can sacrifice the baby by punting it like a football into the mouth of the God of atheism thus allowing you to retain your faith in atheism, what would you do

I would grab YOU, anon by your turkey neck and dip you in a vat of honey and then in a dumpster full of lint. You then emerge from said dumpster a new entity: Fuzzman (or Fuzzma’am). All the people at school would then make fun of you, teachers and staff included. You seek refuge with your childhood friend, whom you’ve had the biggest crush on since that one time they brought you rice pudding from home when you were kids (only because they made too much). They’re hesitant to be seen with such an abhorrent mass of lint but they do it anyways out of the kindness of their heart. You take their kindness as ample opportunity to confess your feelings. They do not reciprocate. “Why would I want to spend my days with someone as fuzzy as you?” She exclaims in the middle of the cafeteria. Everyone begins laughing, pointing at you can calling you various fuzz related names. You then drop out from shear embarrassment, with no education nor job because no one wants to hire a sentient lint monster, you find yourself roaming the streets of Detroit, cold and starving. You find an abandoned homeless tent with a bonfire whose flames are just about to run out. When all hope is lost you hear the wails of what sounds like a baby, THE Christian baby. You are now faced with such dilemma yourself; toss the Christian baby into the flames to provide yourself heat, or sacrifice your lintself so the Christian baby can live another day, however as you leave this mortal coil you feel a falling sensation. As you hit the pavement of your hell you shock back into consciousness, at your keyboard. Thats right, you’re stuck in an infinite time loop that can only be broken by tossing the Christian baby into the flames. I now ask you, mortal: What would you do?