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khattikeri · 7 months ago

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maybe a controversial opinion but while i really love jiang cheng as a character he is deeply self-centered as a person. and seeing people fight tooth and nail claiming he isn't, or is just misunderstood, or that he has genuine valid reasons to be selfish when plenty of other characters make the difficult choice to forego status and opportunities for what they believe is genuinely right to do (read: wei wuxian, wen ning, wen qing, lan wangji, jiang yanli, mianmian, etc.)

it's just odd to me. especially if they're talking about the novels.

mxtx didn't give jiang cheng the name "sandu shengshou" as a quirky coincidence. there's a REASON she named him & his sword after the 3 poisons of Buddhism (specifically ignorance, greed, and hatred). it's crucial to the story that jiang cheng is NOT selfless and that wei wuxian IS.

it's important to accept that wei wuxian is, by their society's standards, not morally gray; he represents several Buddhist ideals in direct contrast of jiang cheng and multiple people attest to wei wuxian's strong moral character, which is a lot of why jiang cheng even feels bitter about him to begin with.

it's crucial, because by the end of the novel jiang cheng realizes the extent of this and begins to let go!

the twin prides thing wasn't jiang cheng wanting them to 100% mirror the twin jades. he does care about wei wuxian, but he wanted wei wuxian to stay his right hand man, in part the way wei changze was for jiang fengmian.

and if there's one thing you can notice about wei changze in the novels, it's that literally nobody talks about him. he is only ever mentioned when his cool mysterious mountain sect wife cangse-sanren is mentioned, or (even more rarely) when they discuss him as a servant to jiang fengmian. regardless of jiang fengmian's own feelings, wei changze was considered lesser to him and didn't seem to outdo him, since nobody's out there years later still waxing poetry about wei changze's skills.

it may not be the only thing jiang cheng wants out of a twin pride dynamic, but it is a big part of it. regardless of his parents' intentions in taking wei wuxian in and treating him certain ways, this twin pride right-hand man thing is what jiang cheng has felt owed since childhood. he gave up his dogs for wei wuxian, people gossip about his sect heir position with wei wuxian there... jiang cheng wants the reciprocation of what he views as personal sacrifices.

he is ignorant to the depth of what wei wuxian must've suffered for over 6 years as a malnourished orphan child on the streets. he hates how wei wuxian's intelligence, witty charm, and cultivation abilities are naturally stronger than his own. he does care about wei wuxian a lot and want them to be together as sort of-brothers, sort of-friends, sort of-young master and sect servant...

...but if it's between that unclear (yet still caring) relationship and being able to save himself just a little bit more, jiang cheng nearly always manages to clam up in the face of danger and choose the latter, which ultimately benefits himself most. maybe it's a stretch to call that sort of thing greed, but it certainly isn't selfless.

there are of course plenty of justifications for this. it's his duty as sect heir. his home and sect was severely damaged by the wen attack and subsequent war; he had to protect himself, etc.

but doesn't that prove the point?

wei wuxian may be charming, but in terms of pure social standing, he is lower and far more susceptible to being punished or placed in harm's way by people who have more power and money. to protect wei wuxian, yunmeng jiang's long-term head disciple and semi-family member, even in the face of backlash and public scrutiny would've been the selfless thing to do. this is what wei wuxian does for the wen remnants in the burial mounds.

jiang cheng does not choose this. it's not even an unreasonable choice for him to make! nobody else in the great clans is doing such a thing, stepping out of line to take on a burden that could weaken them in the long-run. wei wuxian himself doesn't hate jiang cheng for it; he lets go of these things and focuses on what good he can do in the present.

jiang cheng thinks further into the future - what would happen to him if he continued vouching for wei wuxian and taking his side? what about jiang cheng's face, his sect's face? would wei wuxian even care to reciprocate somehow? everyone expects him to cut off wei wuxian for being dangerous, for threatening his position, for...

do you see what i mean? to call jiang cheng selfless for falling in line with exactly what people expected him to do after the war is not only wrong, it's foolish.

"but they faked their falling-out!" okay. why fake it to begin with, except to protect jiang cheng and the jiang sect's own face? is that selfless? who does it ultimately serve to protect? wei wuxian canonically internalizes the idea that he stains all that he touches, including lan wangji, and agrees to the fake fight because he doesn't want to cause the jiang sect harm. regardless, it eventually slides into a true falling-out, and in the end jiang cheng is more or less unscathed reputation-wise while wei wuxian falls.

that isn't selfless. it's many things! it's respecting his clan and his ancestors, it's making a good plan for the future of his sect and cultivation... but it isn't a truly selfless in the interest of what's right rather than in the interest of duty and what's good for him and his family lineage.

that brings me to my next point: even though wei wuxian hid the truth of the golden core transfer, jiang cheng spent nearly 20 years believing that the golden core "renewal" he was given was a birthright gift of wei wuxian's from baoshan-sanren, an immortal sect teacher of wei wuxian's mother's and a martial elder to wei wuxian.

of course we all know that's a big fat lie, but jiang cheng believed that wei wuxian gave up a critical emergency use gift to him for decades! he was lied to, yes, but jiang cheng immediately agreed without even needing to be convinced. the light in his dead eyes came back with hope the moment wei wuxian even said baoshan-sanren's name. he accepted wei wuxian's offer to give that up to him and take it via identity theft without missing a beat.

with how mysterious and revered baoshan-sanren is, that's obviously not a light sacrifice to just give up to anyone, no matter how close they might be to you. pretending to be wei wuxian to take the gift could even be considered dangerous. what if she found out and got offended? could wei wuxian be hurt by that?

jiang cheng doesn't even hesitate. wei wuxian is the one who mentions that if jiang cheng doesn't pretend to be him, the immortal master could get angry and they'd both be goners. and funnily enough, the day they do go to "the mountain", jiang cheng is the one worried and suspiciously wondering if wei wuxian was lying to him or had misremembered.

of course they've both been traumatized like hell prior to this point. but still: it speaks to how broken he was at the moment as well as to his character overall.

i digress: jiang cheng "gets his golden core back" via what he believed was a gift that should've been wei wuxian's to use in serious emergencies. rather than use it for himself, wei wuxian risked his own safety and gave it to jiang cheng... and jiang cheng still ends up embittered and angry, believing that wei wuxian is arrogant and selfish.

if he truly views them as 100% brothers and equals with no caveats, why would he think that way? it's not like he needs to grovel before wei wuxian for doing that, or to reciprocate... but this is what i mean when i say jiang cheng feels he is owed things by wei wuxian. wei wuxian's actions hold a very different weight in jiang cheng's mind, and jiang cheng himself doesn't ever act the same way, except once.

is it wrong for him to feel like he is owed something? it depends. many asian cultures, including my own, feel that a person owes their family in ways that may not make sense to westerners. for example, it's considered normal for a child to owe their parents for giving birth to them, or to other caretakers for feeding, clothing, sheltering, educating them, etc.

however, something like verbally saying "thank you" or "i'm sorry" to family is considered crazy- why would you owe that? you're supposed to inconvenience your family; saying thank you or sorry is the sort of thing you say to a stranger or acquaintance. i get half-seriously lectured by my elders on this a lot even now, even though they know such phrases are just considered good manners in the US.

this muddies up the idea of wei wuxian being jiang cheng's family vs his family's charge or servant even more. jiang cheng wants wei wuxian to be close... but ultimately doesn't really choose to use what power he DOES have to protect wei wuxian. he considers himself still owed something that in his mind wei wuxian flagrantly never repays.

this isn't even getting into how despite spending a majority of his time with the yiling patriarch he never once noticed that wei wuxian stopped using any spiritual power-based cultivation. even lan wangji, who met them far more rarely, realized that something was wrong and that wei wuxian had taken some sort of spiritual damage, hence the "come with me to gusu".

of course manpain is fun and i'm not immune to the juicy idea of them reconciling and talking things out... but jiang cheng is deeply mired in his own desire to be "above" wei wuxian in multiple ways, and doesn't realize the extent of wei wuxian's actions, the intentions behind them, and the consequences wei wuxian knowingly faced for them.

to not recognize this about jiang cheng, especially in the novels, is really revisionist if you ask me. i reiterate that i really do like him a lot. he's flawed, angry, traumatized and has poor coping mechanisms, an overall fascinating character... but he is not selfless nor ideal, and i seriously draw the line at people saying he is.

wen ning shoves this all into his face at lotus pier to disastrous results. it is the reason why jiang cheng's a total mess at guanyin temple, and the reason jiang cheng ultimately doesn't tell wei wuxian about the fact that he ran towards the wens on purpose.

for that one last act of his to have really been selfless, he needs to not seek anything in return. he did it purely because it was right to do to protect someone else. if that means wei wuxian never finds out about it, so be it.

that moment that ended up causing jiang cheng irreversible harm is not a debt that wei wuxian owes him. it hurts, but no matter how bitter it is, that realization is so important to him changing in the future.

#keri chats #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #jiang cheng #long post #this is NOT anti/crit for him btw i like him a lot i just feel like nobody interprets him the way i perceive him #which even then my interpretation is p nebulous... worth saying i also heavily disagree w ppl who think of him as an evil shithead #he's upper class & steeped in jianghu politics/self preservation. flawed as hell human being but they're all war criminals lbr it's #Magical Genocide and War Crimes: The Novel #anyway this post is messy as fuck but if u read all of it: thank u. if u agree with me: ilu. i wish more ppl understood revenge ethics #as they stand in asian cultures and history vs in western (almost always culturally christian) cultures #it's unclear how far in the future the extras are but at one pt he's ''the same as ever'' which at best indicates slow emotional growth #and like. ykw? i don't think he'll be repressed bitter angry thinking abt his losses n pain forever. i think he can grow i believe in him #i have so many thoughts on this i could've made this post go on forever augh

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happyk44 · 1 year ago

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Obsessing over the concept of Percy having so many dreams about Nico dying in front of him in different ways at camp or on quests and he has no idea what to do about them so he starts trying to get Nico to hang out with him and tries asking him in subtle ways about what's going on, trying to figure out if Nico is in dangerous without possibly freaking him out about Percy's dreams (who would feel safe if someone kept having dreams about them being murdered by faceless entities in orange shirts or killed by monsters)i

It goes nowhere. Nico is apparently fine, flitting between camp and the underworld and New Rome as he wishes. With more underworld kids coming into CHB for the summer, he's started spending more and more time there though, and all Percy can think of orange shirts and Nico's blood drenched in them

Eventually he caves and drives to camp, hunting down and cornering Clovis, who's passed out in a sunbeam like a cat. Percy steps into the grass and kicks him gently. Clovis wakes slow and tilts his face towards Percy. He stretches long, yawns loud. Percy stifles a responding yawn and squats.

"What's up, Percy?" Clovis hums.

Percy tugs at his fingers as he finds the right words. "I keep having shitry dreams," he decides on. Clovis arches a brow. Percy sits back and pinches the bridge of his nose. "What does it mean when you keep having dreams about someone dying?"

Baby blue blanket creasing, Clovis cocks his head. "Who's dying?"

Percy grits his teeth. "Does it matter?"

"Well, some dreams are just subconscious processing and some are my siblings being weird." Clovis blinks slow. People compare him to cows a lot, that baby softness on his cheeks and easy going demeanour. But Percy sees a cat more than anything. Domesticated and pampered. "And some are prophetic."

The grit of his teeth begins to hurt his jaw. "How do you know which one is which?"

Clovis hums and sits up slowly. He reaches down to his toes and flexes with a long groaning grunt. He gives a little sigh as he pulls away. "Well, I'd have to ask them if they're doing things. As for subconscious processing, that's just what's going on in your brain. And prophecies..." He hums thoughtfully. "I guess you wouldn't know until it happens." With half-closed eyes, he faces Percy. His head lags to the side. "So is there anything going on your brain to worry about this person dying?"

"Well, there is now," Percy says through gritted teeth. Clovis laughs, a trilling dreamy sound. Percy glares at him. "Clovis."

He shrugs. "I can ask around tonight." He picks at a blade of grass. "Who is it?"

Behind them, Nico is calling out to someone. It makes Percy's skin crawl. Kids laugh and Nico laughs and Percy wants to grab him and hide him. Clovis's bright orange camp shirt makes him feel like a bull, caged up with some idiot waving a red flag in front of him. He needs to rush forward and break the things bothering him. Skewer them and feel their blood drip down his skin.

He's starting to lose his mind.

"It doesn't matter." He too aware that the gap between question and answer was too long.

Clovis isn't looking at him but he feels watched anyway. "It could," Clovis says. "But at least I know it's not Annabeth. Or Grover." Percy startles and Clovis's grin is soft. "If it was, you would have said it before you even sat down." He gives another big stretch then flops back on his blanket, rolling over into a warmer brighter patch of sun. "Actually, you'd say if it was anyone." He tucks his legs up into his chest. "You'd keep quiet because you don't want to worry them. Which means there's probably some real concern there."

His eyes slide fully shut and he doesn't speak again. Heart pounding, Percy watches his serene face. He doesn't like that Clovis picked him apart like that. But not much he can complain or deny in it.

Knees whining, he stands slow. Part of him misses the Achilles' Curse for that reason alone. He liked it more when his body didn't hurt because of constant strenuous activity and the passage of time. He runs a hand through his hair.

What is he supposed to do? Wait for Clovis to tell him that his siblings were being assholes for no reason? To sit down and meditate about the reason his mind was focused in on Nico dying in various ways? Or worry unendingly that the universe was giving him a sneak peek at the future and soon he'd be standing at Nico's memorial, trying to figure out which person around him was the killer?

"Percy!"

He startles and turns. His skin crawls as Nico jogs up to him. There's a little boy practically pinned to his side. The closet they grow, the more Percy wants to shove Nico down deep where no one can find him. Ocean depths. He'd like the darkness, Percy thinks. Then he slaps the thought away as his arms begin to rise, his gut yanking towards the beach.

"Hey." It comes out breathless and wispy. "What's up?"

Nico's smile is gentle. It makes Percy's stomach cramp, the idea of it gone forever, bled out on forest grass. "Joel and I were seeing if he could summon ghosts." He gazes down at the little boy still tucked into his side. The kid is looking at Clovis. "Might be a bit of a trial for him though."

When the kid doesn't stop looking at Clovis, Nico pinches his ear and he tucks his face into Nico's side instead. He gives a ragged breath but Nico's easygoing look doesn't change.

It flits to the top of his tongue, but Nico answers before Percy has a chance to open his mouth.

"Ker," he says, "is his mom."

There is little Percy has forgotten from any of his underworld adventures, including being chased by those spirits while trying to stop Ethan from escaping with the sword. Violent death and disease. Feasted on human flesh. They couldn't kill, but they could harm and give death a jumpstart.

Percy's shoulder gives a phantom throb at the reminder.

"Didn't know she'd be interested in having kids," he says.

Nico's lip twitches and his arm curved around Joel's shoulders tightens him closer. "He's technically adopted." Joel's face tilts further away from Percy. "She thought he was cute."

There's definitely more to that story that Percy doesn't know how to ask about, so he just agrees passively that Joel is cute and they move on. Joel doesn't speak to anyone but Nico or make eye contact. He's a barnacle on Nico's side.

All Percy can focus on is his bright orange shirt and the violent death that thrums in his veins and how close he is to Nico. It would be accidental, Percy thinks, if Joel killed him. It's clear he likes Nico. It would be accidental if Nico was torn to shreds.

Percy wonders how easy it would be to get water into his lungs from the bottle he drinks from, how suspicious it would be if he drowned on dry land. Quickly he leaves with rushed goodbye. His hands are already plunging into pockets for his keys. He doesn't hear Nico's goodbye.

That night he dreads his dreams more than ever.

Joel is there this time. His face is wet, half hidden in shadows. Nico is front of him, sword out, protective. Then things slip and it's not Nico and Joel anymore, but one older girl and two younger kids behind her. The kids look terrified but the girl is enraged. Her obsidian sword slashes at someone rushing forward.

The world is too bright, Percy thinks. There are no shadows. It's like the sun is standing in front of them.

The girl shouts and beats off a pair of people who charge at her. With snapped necks, they fall to the ground in front of her. She yells and shoves her sword into the ground.

It splits so easily. The grass trembles. The earth rumbles. Skeletal hands claw out of the ground. Hazy spectres join them. The girl turns and grabs the kids while people fight the entities she summoned. The world is so bright, but there's shadows at the edge of the sunlight. She won't stop running. One of the kids runs alongside her. The other is held in her arms.

The shadows twist and flex towards them. It's unable to spread into the light. They're closing in. The first kid is closer, free of the weight of another person. The shadows greet her but she stumbles to a sudden stop, spinning around and staring pleadingly at the girl Percy realizes is one of Nico's half-sisters from long before.

Are the kids' Joel's half-siblings? he wonders.

"Go!" the girl shouts. The kid hesitates but the girl shouts again, "GO!"

The shadows swallow the kid with a wispy black maw. The girl is almost there when the ground creaks and groans. It rumbles violently, separating and splitting at the very seams. The earth opens before her.

Percy can see the decision she makes before she makes it, jumping over a gap in the earth before it splits too wide. She doesn't stop running even as she tosses the other kid into the air. He screams, a bloodcurdling thing that chills Percy down to his bones.

The shadows catch him. And he's gone.

The girl pants, gripping her knees as she bends over. The earth stops quaking. There's a few seconds where the only sound is panting. But as the people they were fleeing from close in, the girl laughs breathlessly and turns around.

"Isn't it fun when we chase each other?" she says. "I think we should do that more."

The leader of the little group is some tall boy who looks like he's never smiled in his life. He's bulky. Each muscle bulges and he glares. The girl is unphased.

"How dare you?" he seethes.

She rolls her eyes. "Well, my dad protects their parents." She grins, eyes dark like the void. Her hands flex at her side. "Why shouldn't I protect them? Especially since you refuse to listen to reason." She gestures widely. "Just because Chthonic is in the title doesn't mean it's bad. Chthonic means dirt, earth." She just her chin towards one of the kids. "You are technically Chthonic." She shrugs. "Besides, you fucking morons, they're kids. What kind of dipshit is scared of little kids just because their dad picks up dead people for a living?"

Her arms haven't lowered from where she's spread them. Her hands flex again, each finger tapping in the air, one after the other. Percy can't hear anything else that's said. It all goes muffled. It's obvious arguing. Judging from the pulled weapons, there are threats abound.

Then the earth breaks.

It's not the same as the earthquake before. This is a complete cave-in, the ground falling out from under their feet. She's the only person who doesn't look terrified to be falling. They all disappear into darkness. Like teeth chomping, the earth slams back together and seals itself over.

Then there's his ceiling. His fan is going in fast circles, a soft whrrrrr.

Sweat is sticky against his neck. Oh, he thinks.

Violent death and disease being present at every meal, every training, every campfire song. Someone was probably unnerved by it. Unnerved by him. Nico's protective hold was a wall in front of the bomb. It needed to be broken down so the danger could be disposed of, bomb defused.

He doesn't know when he grabbed his phone. Only aware of it pressed to his ear by the ringing. It goes for a while. His stomach churns.

A tired "H'lo?" passes through.

His stomach doesn't settle. "Hey, Nico. Sorry." He glances at his clock and winces. "Did I wake up?"

Nico snorts. "No," he grumbles. "I'm a vampire." Quiet breathing, tense silence. "Percy? Why are we on the phone right now?"

"I..." Percy pauses. Glances up to his ceiling fan, still spinning in fast circles. "I just. Had a weird dream." Nico makes a "go on" noise. Percy bites his lip and leans against the wall, drawing his knees up to his bare chest. "Have any of your siblings had to..."

Fight against other campers? Run with a pair of kids people wanted to kill because they thought they were dangerous? Commit suicide to stop those from going after the kids once they were safely away somewhere else?

There's nothing good in those questions.

He closes his eyes. "What was camp like for your siblings? Before?"

"Uh." There's some rustling. "Not good. Most campers didn't trust us because of the whole Underworld children thing. Lucky for them, my dad doesn't really go around spawning kids on a monthly basis."

Percy snorted. His fingers wove themselves into his sheets so tight they started to go numb.

"But we didn't have a lot of friends. People avoided us."

Blood on dark grass flickers through Percy's mind. "Or killed you," he blurts out.

His mind shuts down at the words. He can't process what he's said, barely hearing the whrrr of his ceiling fan or the sound of his own breath. His skin floats away from him. Then pulls back solid when Nico says, "How did you know that?"

He swallows thickly. "Like I said. Weird dream."

"About my siblings being killed at camp?"

Nico viciously protecting Joel comes to mind and sticks in place. "No," he says after a beat. "Technically I think she committed murder-suicide."

"Which one?"

Percy hates that question. Sourness floods his tongue and he answers with a gritted, "I didn't get a name. She was fighting off other campers, trying to protect a couple other kids from getting hurt."

A sarcastic little laugh echoes through the receiver. "Yeah, that's happen more than once."

The sheets unwind from his numb fingertips. "Fuck."

"It's been over five thousand years, Percy," Nico says. "Things tend to repeat themselves a few times." Percy doesn't know what to say to that. "Why were you dreaming about one of my sisters anyway?"

"I don't know," he says. It's the truth. He has no idea. But he has theories. And he has fears. "She was just there."

Nico is quiet. The sound of his breathing is steady, and Percy hones in on it. He matches each inhale and exhale with his own breaths.

When Nico does speak again, he almost sounds far away. "That's odd." There's a creak and a thump, like feet hitting the tile. "Is that why you were talking to Clovis?"

No. "Yeah."

"Interesting." His voice is faint, before suddenly loud and fast. "Hey, I have to go."

Percy's stomach churns violently. "But-"

His words speed fast together as he says, "I have to go do something, I'll call you back later."

There's no dial tone, just a loud clattering that makes Percy's heart drop directly into his stomach. Clovis's sleepy voice eclipses to max volume in his head. And prophecies... I guess you wouldn't know until it happens.

A dozen thoughts blur through his mind as he hikes up the window to the fire escape outside his bedroom. He should tell his mom he's leaving, he should call Grover, he should call Annabeth, he should make someone check on Nico.

He gropes around the top of his dresser for a spare dog whistle then blows through it hard and sharp as he clambours out through the window, shirtless, shoeless, and panicking.

Mrs. O'Leary barks up at him from the dark alleyway. Shadows still cling to her dark fur. He doesn't even bother racing down the stairs. Just throws himself over the railing. Nico's name echoes in his head like a broken record as he falls. Soft fur grips tight in his hands. He doesn't feel the pain of landing, shadows swallowing them both before he can even recognize that he did.

It's strange to appear just a few feet away from a gaggle of kids threatening your cousin and the kid he's chosen to protect. Behind the group yelling words Percy can't hear under the roar of blood in his ears, there's a couple other kids - twins of Erebus - sneaking towards them.

They get close.

But they get caught.

Nico snaps forward and Percy's hitting the ground before he understands what's happening. It goes by so fast, he can barely remember his own actions. Everyone's still breathing. But banged up heavily, or unconscious. Joel is crying wheezy little tears while his aunts try to comfort him, and Nico...

Nico is gripped so tight in Percy's arms that Percy worries he might've broken something. He relaxes slow. Nico detaches. Mrs. O'Leary's hot breath huffs against the top of his head. Nico gives her a pat on the nose, not looking at Percy as he turns to Joel and checks in on him.

Percy's watching the slump of bruised campers before him. His blood feels too hot. Sweat drips down his back but his skin is too dry. He takes a step forward. A hand shoves against his chest and he gazes down at void eyes.

The world slams back into place.

He breathes.

"You are ocean water," Nico says very quietly. "Not blood and human viscera."

His mouth is dry. There's something inside him that wants. "Water is water."

"Not like that," Nico says. Percy swallows and steps back. Nico lowers his hand. Then turns to face Joel and the twins. His voice brightens up, feigned cheeriness, as he marches towards them. "Joel, do you want to go live with my brother's cult?"

Distantly Percy feels like he remembers Nico saying something about that once, but he can't remember what, so his mind draws question marks he doesn't ask as he twists on his heel. Nico crouches, speaking in a steady soft tone. The girls are holding each other's hands. They spare looks for the people who were scared of their nephew, and spare looks towards Percy. It's the same look.

They look away when Nico says something to them, vanishing hand-in-hand into shadows. Nico whistles and Mrs. O'Leary approaches with heavy steps. Joel hugs her leg. His ragged breaths are wheezed tired and weary into her fur. Nico keeps a steady hand on his back.

There is no murder-suicide this time. Instead the shadows swell and deposits the twins, with Mr. D and Chiron beside them. Nico cuts them off when Chiron tries to question him. He takes long way out with the girls on either side of him towards the Apollo cabin.

He doesn't follow the girls back into the woods with healers on their tail. Instead he opens the door to the Hades cabin and sits on a wooden chair. There's a buzz of white noise from a nearby noise machine. Otherwise everything is quiet. Nico's phone sits where it had been dropped to the ground minutes before.

His blood still feels too hot.

It feels like hours later when Nico walks in. However, the clock on the wall says it's only been twenty minutes. Joel is tucked up into his side. He goes down without a fight into Nico's bed. Lets himself be tucked in and drift off. Then Nico pulls another chair around and settles down in front of Percy, straddling the chair backwards. His arms cross over the top. His chin rests on folded wrists.

They watch each other. Then Nico moves to rest his cheek on his wrists instead. "You've been having those dreams for a while?"

Percy makes an affirmative noise.

"They haven't really been about my siblings, have they?"

He doesn't answer that. Instead, he says, "If people kept doing things like this, why didn't you guys make your own place?"

"We did," Nico says. "A few times actually. But no one liked that they didn't know what we were doing. So they made us come back to be hated and suffer." He snorts. "The old adage - keeps your friends close and enemies closer."

Percy doesn't laugh. "Why did she adopt him?"

Nico lifts his head. "Some things had happened when she found him. She took an interest and gave him her blessing."

"What things?"

Nico looks to the ceiling. "Things that help her fill her fridge with food to eat." His eyes flicker back down to Percy. "Only Chiron and Mr. D know the specifics. But Joel is fine." He glances over his shoulder. "He's a good kid. No one needs to be scared of him." He turns back to Percy. "Now answer my question."

Blood still too hot, Percy stares at a spot just above Nico's head. Then grits his teeth. "I don't like watching you die."

"I'm not scared of dying," Nico says. "None of us are. It's why it's always been so easy to take care of them. Take the dislike, take the insults, take the threats."

Percy stares at him. Then repeats, "I don't like watching you die."

Nico stares back. "You're not going to."

It's hard to believe that. So he leans forward, reaching out to grab the top of Nico's chair and pull it down until he can feel Nico's cool breath against his skin. "If I keep having those dreams, I'm gonna take a page from your dad's book and kidnap you."

Nico's lips twitch, but his voice stays even. "Then I guess you should keep in mind to make room in your dungeon because I'll be bringing a few people along." He lifts a hand and strokes a thumb down the side of Percy's face. "I heard your siblings were pretty protective too." His fingers slip away. Percy's skin yearns. "Something about how the ocean drowns what it loves and drowns what it hates."

That's not protection, Percy thinks. It's possession.

But he doesn't say that outloud.

Not yet.

He slowly lets the chair fall backwards until it lands stable on all four legs. He wants to deny Nico's statement about drowning. But he has - at least what he hates. Ahkyls, the mountain lion that tried to attack Grover, those kids. Only one success. But the want, the need...

"I should head home," he says slowly. It takes him a minute to process his words and stand up, heading for the door.

Nico makes a low noise and stands too. "Sweet dreams," he says once Percy has walked out into the night, still barefoot and shirtless.

Percy climbs onto Mrs. O'Leary's back. "I hope so."

#back on my bullshit lmao #happy talks pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #my writing #my fanfic #and it is 1am and i need to sleep so im just gonna. stop.#not even gonna review it to see if it makes sense bc im just. so tired rn.#but yeah i have been obsessed with the concept of percy having dreams of the past to indicate the future #and it's always about nico's past half-siblings getting bullied by campers as a hint that someone there is gonna do something hinky to him #okay niiiiiight

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lunarharp · 1 year ago

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being attached to that moment qifrey held a baby one time and my ideas for the future :)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #brief small post before i return to Real and Emotional things again...but tbh...this makes me feel real emotions too #i think the manga will end up with a epilogue chapter showcasing little things in the girls' future and orufrey holding hands or kissing...#to like Indicate things. if it doesn't happen beforehand.#But. Who. Knows. also then i suddenly started thinking about them raising a baby for ages today because of how narratively poignant it'd be #for things to end that way after having raised almost-daughters all those years. and how healing it could be for qifrey and etc.#thing i said on twt: girls visit so often that the kid's first words are Professor Olly #“deja vu.. i'm not your professor kid - i'm your father!”#sorry but they are literally a gay couple where one truly is like The Mom and one truly is The Dad. to me #i think a housewifey homemaker type lifestyle would make qifrey happy. be harder now that he's disabled - well that's why he has his man.#i dont normally care about stuff like fankids or whatever..characters becoming parents for real..but like..Come on #This is the couple to think about this with.....they already ARE parents..i want them to be happy for eternity #once all the horrors are over we have to make it there.....children are so precious families are so precious....#i have bad relationship with parents personally and haven't interacted with children in years. And yet i still know that.#the fact that orufrey fight for children to be safe and educated and happy...qif wants to help coustas too..#aaaanyway today was a pretty weird and difficult day so i deserved to think about happy futures for a bit. i hear it's possible #btw i'm most sure about tetia becoming the princess of zozah. i think that will happen. and riche should have the ribbon tassel.

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dicaeopolis · 1 month ago

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Everyone say thank you testosterone hrt for making it easier to sing along to orville peck

#.txt #I truly believe his vocal range is in my future despite everything about my male relatives indicating otherwise

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dreamings-free · 2 months ago

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guys.. krystle isn’t "leaving"..? this LT gig isn’t like a steady permanent employment she’ll be off to work on other projects with other clients while louis works on LT3.. and it’ll probably be a good while until louis will need her work on a regular basis for appearances and live performances (will long hair louis return for the LT3 development period ??! 👀)

she’s just being sentimental because it’ll be at least 1-2 years before the whole crew will all be together again for another tour (and some will have moved on to other gigs..) and these people have all been part of her almost daily life for 3 years now. all the team, band and crew will be doing other things while louis works on new music (..except his management of course) - but most of them will likely be back for LT3 promo and tour

#I get we're all in our feels but..#nothing she wrote indicates a permanent goodbye..?#she didn’t even write in past tense haha #also that's not really how this type of employment works..#you don't finish a project and then announce you won't be back for a possible next one #whenever that'll be #and who says you're even offered the next job?#when/if the offer comes you can accept or decline at that time #why deny yourself possible future opportunities?#lt team

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shiningdesignersreflections · 20 days ago

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Caprico: Future Indicator

Designer's Reflection: Future Indicator

Obtained: top-up for Void Stardust

Rarity: SSR

Attribute: Purple/Sexy

Awakened Suit: Future Guide

Story - transcripts from Designer's Reflection

Chapter 1 - Recruiting

Chapter 2 - An Invitation

Chapter 3 - Future

Chapter 4 - Price

Story - summarized

A data hacker named G owes Caprico lots of money. So, when G gets an advertisement from Mercury Group to be a test subject in Ruins, he jumps at the opportunity to make some cash. He'll attend this experiment, then walk away with top secret knowledge he can sell on the black market.

But when he arrives, something is off. Everyone, who was so excited to be here, falls into an eerie calm, and they're ushered into capsules to sleep and be tested on. G manages to avoid the capsule and makes his way deeper into Ruins. He comes across Glow, who is monitoring the whole experiment... and now has caught G.

Caprico is tinkering in his workshop when he gets an email from Glow. Out of the blue, she is inviting him to Ruins to help with an experiment. Of course, Caprico can't resist, and he agrees to help her. Upon arriving at the main Ruin Island, he goes straight to work, entering a capsule willingly and transporting himself to the virtual world of Ideal City.

His role is to perfect society and weed out impurities, like sudden emotions. As he gets to work, he notices a man in the distance running from virtual police. The man is shot and arrested.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, G the hacker barely wakes up from his "dream" of being shot. Caprico doesn't reach out or try to help him, leaving him behind in his quest for mechanical perfection.

Connections

-Glow calls Caprico Code-219. He first met her in his Reflection for Into the Ruins, where he used to be a scientist at Ruins, and his new "name" was taken from his IQ being 219.

-Caprico prides himself on not needing emotions and being more rational than others - however, in one of the hell event's side stories, Heart of Machines, he produces many impurity crystals when he is proud and happy of his experiments.

-In the extra dialogues in the Index section, for both Caprico's and Glow's Reflections for the event, they comment that Caprico is not like other humans. After this event, in the next story chapter, Caprico discovers he is one of the Envoys of the God of Styling.

Fun Facts

-This Reflection marks Caprico's second time in Ruins.

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northopalshore · 1 month ago

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Can you marrying someone older indicators?

Ever since I found out my future spouse will be at least 7 years older than me, I had a compiled list of these in the back of my mind. (Also because I have a few friends who are into significantly older men TT)

Older spouse indicators

(usually an age gap is present) 5-7 years but can go upwards to 30++

‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

In the natal chart, Juno, Groom & Briede Persona chart

୨ৎ Saturn in the 7th house (natal)

୨ৎ Groom in Capricorn (natal, juno & groom)

୨ৎ 7th house ruler is Saturn (Capricorn & Aquarius)

୨ৎ Jupiter in the 7th house (natal)

୨ৎ Sun in the 7th house (natal)

୨ৎ 7th house ruler conjunct saturn (natal)

୨ৎ Groom conjunct Saturn or Jupiter (groom, natal, juno)

୨ৎ Venus in Capricorn (natal)

୨ৎ Mars in Capricorn (natal)

୨ৎ Jupiter in Capricorn (natal)

୨ৎ Sun in Capricorn (Juno, groom, briede)

୨ৎ Venus conjunct Saturn (natal, juno)

୨ৎ Jupiter conjunct Saturn (nata, juno)

୨ৎ Aries Sun/Moon/Venus/ Mars (natal)

୨ৎ Groom in Sagittarius (situational) (natal, groom, juno)

୨ৎ Venus in Sagittarius (natal)

୨ৎ Mars in Sagittarius (natal)

୨ৎ 7th house ruler in the 9th or 10th House

୨ৎ Groom asteroid in the 8th house (natal) because the 'taboo' thing could be an age gap

Note: when using either briede or groom pc, make sure it pertains to your spouse and not you as a spouse. Or else that would mean you're older than them (⁠･��o⁠･⁠;⁠).

Unrelated but leo venus women tend to hunt for younger men lol. Check younger spouse indicators here

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Vedic

୨ৎ Saturn Darakaraka (dk)

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

***disclaimer: please make sure it tracks with other placements in your chart as well***

Thanks for reading ♡

@northopalshore

@northopalshore 2024 older spouse indicators.

#older spouse indicators astrology #older spouse astrology #age gap indicators astrology #meeting future spouse astrology #future spouse appearance astrology #astrology observations #astrology notes #astrology blog #astro notes #astro observations #astrology content #astrology #astrology community #astrology ramblings

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gornackeaterofworlds · 9 months ago

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The outfit ref sheets for a space-based cyberpunk Bay AU, made by @daniibirb and myself in a two hour giggle-fueled spitball this morning. Like all writing projects it is pushed back to whenever I am not homeless(art will still be made here and there), thx for understanding(u have no choice) 🫶

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undead-moth · 5 months ago

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I've seen a few people mention how the sauce Carmy makes in Apologies is black with white spots, and how in that very scene Sydney is wearing a black bandana with white polka-dots. From what I can tell, most people are interpreting this as an intentional writing choice, which I agree with, but they also seem to be interpreting the sauce as something Carmy did subconsciously.

I saw one person say that Syd is Carmy's "muse" and she's inspiring his cooking without him even realizing it. Another interpretation I saw was that this dish was evidence of Carmy metaphorically not choosing Sydney, since he throws the dish in the trash in the next scene.

While anybody is allowed to interpret the sauce scene however they want, I thought I would point out that it likely wasn't the writer's intentions for us to interpret this as something Carmy did subconsciously, because the point being made in that dish, or at least what we are supposed to understand about that dish, is that the polka-dot sauce is not supposed to be polka-dotted.

That is a broken sauce. The white dots that are popping up and spreading in it aren't supposed to be there. If this sauce had been made properly, it would have been one consistency, and therefore one color. Chefs don't break sauces, and breaking a sauce is something you're specifically meant to avoid. In the universe of this show, Carmy didn't intend for that sauce to break, and that is why he throws it in the trash. Given that it doesn't make sense for him to have broken the sauce on purpose, that means that he also didn't purposefully mimic Syd's bandana.

In fact, the head chef at the NYC restaurant once mocked Carmy for a broken sauce. At the funeral dinner for Ever, Carmy is thinking about the abuse he endured by that chef, and one of the insults he thinks of during a montage of memories from his past is the chef implying that breaking a sauce makes Carmy broken. It's one of the insults haunting him this season.

(Edit: I have been informed that chefs do sometimes intentionally break sauces, and it’s called a split-break. I still personally interpret it as unintentional in the show, but it’s interesting to consider the difference in meaning if it’s not.)

That being said, I don't think this means that Sydney's bandana and the sauce coincidentally match each other. This scene takes place in the penultimate episode, directly before the funeral dinner at Ever where Carmy confronts the NYC head chef, and where Chef Terry gives a speech that, in my opinion, is meant to deliver the message of this season.

Throughout the season, the pressure Carmy has placed on himself has only increased. This has affected his ability to cook well. We see Carmy throw away multiple dishes in different episodes. We can assume he screwed these dishes up, but it's impossible to know since Carmy's standards are so high nothing is good enough for him anyway. But with something like a broken sauce, we know. We know that he's not simply being a perfectionist when he throws the broken sauce away. He's definitely screwed the sauce up.

At this point in the season, Carmy's reached his breaking point. This is represented visually in his broken sauce.

However, they could have used any broken sauce, in any colors, couldn't they? It's not a coincidence that they used a sauce that, when broken, is black and white. I think in part the reason they chose the colors black and white is because of what those colors usually represent - darkness vs lightness, wrong vs right, bad vs good - and Carmy is caught in between. At this point in the season, he's on a path toward something dark - but he can choose the light, and both are waging a war inside of him at this moment, breaking him.

It's also still significant that Syd is wearing the black bandana with white polka-dots. Especially because Chef Tery - the foil to the chef who abused Carmy, the narrative good, right, light, representing the path Carmy should be on and needs to choose in the future - also wears a black bandana with white polka-dots this season.

Together, this all represents what Carmy risks losing if he continues on the same path, and inversely, what he could gain if he chooses the right one. Carmy, the character, is not conscious of any of this, and in the universe of The Bear, none of this means anything - but they do mean something narratively.

Carmy is screwing up, and because of that, he's breaking. He screwed the sauce up, and the sauce broke. The bandanas worn by Chef Tery and Syd represent what he's screwing up, and how that is breaking him. They also represent what he needs to choose in the future to avoid breaking, and to make things right.

#the bear #sydcarmy #long post #sorry but I don't think this was as romantic as some people thought lol #But I do actually think this ends up meaning more than if she was simply inspiring him without him realizing it #her presence in his life is on equal footing with a future in which he's not only a successful chef - but a happy and fulfilled one #and they are both the thing that exists on the other side of fear and hardship. Character development.#which in my opinion indicates that Syd and a career like Chef Tery's are Carmy's true motives as a character #and they're also the destination at the end of his story #Whether or not he reaches them will define his story

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xinyuehui · 10 months ago

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Hello there! do you still have an older version of evolwallpaper? I was late to the party and I can't install it properly anymore T_T

Hi anon, unfortunately I no longer have the old .exe 😩 I checked weibo, other users in China are having problems with it as well, my conclusion to this is that it's a broken app full of bugs, probably got nothing to do with regions (ノへ￣、)

Babe because of your ask, I spent good 5 hours tonight trying to debug it, because I insist we all get the dynamic wallpapers!!!

Original guide // Deepspace PC guide

By the end of this tutorial, we should have a video like this applied to our computer wallpaper:

There's Nikki, MLQC, Deepspace and The Perceiver wallpapers.

New guide:

https://paperwall.papegames.com/

Same step as before, download this but don't install yet!

The following was actually hidden in their Q&A, you'll also need this for it to run, download the runtime version.

https://dotnet.microsoft.com/en-us/download/dotnet-framework/net48

After you install the .NET Framework 4.8 go ahead and try to install the PAPERWALL .exe

→ If it works, great! We solved the problem!! 🎉 (You can skip to the section on the bottom on how to use the app)

→ If you get this error message, ugh congratulations, this is where I tried about 67 solutions for hours just so you don't have to

It's weird, because at this point, the thing have successfully installed on your local drive but it won't run.

Let's go back a step, if you open the .exe again, take note of where it's at on your computer. For me you can see that it's in the C drive, I presume it'll be the same for you.

Find the folder, open it

Open the app

→ If it works, great! We solved the problem!! 🎉 (You can skip to the section on the bottom on how to use the app)

→ If you get the same error message, read on:

If the images haven't loaded in the 1.0.1 version it will most likely going to crash when you try to do anything on it, so read on:

Let go back to the C drive

We are gonna move this somewhere else, if you have a hard drive, paste it to your hard drive, if you have another drive on your pc, you can move it to the other drive. BUT DO NOT MOVE IT TO YOUR DESKTOP!!!! Because we practice good computer hygiene 🙏

Once you've moved everything away, open it back up and try to install it again in your new file location

→ If it works, great! We solved the problem!! 🎉 (You can skip to the section on the bottom on how to use the app)

→ If you still get the same error message, I will send my portfolio to Paper Games to be a software developer in their office and write a new app

Once you get it running *fingers crossed* move the entire folder back to your C drive if you moved it to your hard drive, unless your hard drive is plugged in all the time.

If for whatever reason you get the "access to the path is denied" error message, try the right click and select the "Run as administrator" option.

For easy access:

Go onto your desktop, or wherever you want to access it from quickly and paste shortcut!! Remember it's the shortcut!!

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

How to use the app

The UI has changed a little since the original one, but it's easy to navigate.

Change the language to English, it should reboot the app

From here it's self explanatory

For good computer hygiene you might want to double check where the wallpapers are stored and change directory if needed.

If you're like me and have 2 monitors, this is what it'll look like with the wallpapers applied and the game opened, looks like I need a 3rd monitor for Shen Xinghui ⭐

(Desktop icons should show up, I just don't have icons on the desktop)

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

If you still have problems, check your PC specifications against the following that were recommended on the official site:

System: Windows10 or above

RAM: 1024MB or above

Processor: 1.66Hz Intel i5 or above

Graphics: HD Graphics 4000 or above

DirectX: 10

Secret third thing: you might be able to run it and have the lovely wallpapers but it suddenly goes glitchy or black screen... that's because of the faulty app, I've seen people mention it on weibo, it's not just you 😔

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

Feel free to drop me an ask with images if you still run into problems, hope this helps, until next time~ (✿◠‿◠)

Check out this tag for already answered questions #/wallpaper woes

#ask #anon #love and deepspace #love and deep space #love and producer #mlqc #shining nikki #love nikki #the perceiver #mr love queen's choice #live lockscreen #this is not a good sop its written all over the place but ive spent too long sorting it out and writing this up it'll have to do for now #if this helped you out i would appreciate it if you can reblog it!#you dont have to but its a good indication for me to post more things like this in the future for the english speaking fandom 💕

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